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layzeal · 2 years

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i said 5 months ago i was gonna share my thoughts on this scene and never did, so it's time to dig this out

what did wei wuxian mean by asking shijie "why would someone like another person" and why i.... don't think he's talking about lan wangji (i know-- i know. just bear with me)

or more accurately: an analysis of chapter 71, wwx's thoughts on love, and how mxtx utilizes parallels between past and present!

(Ch 71 of MDZS web revised edition //// ExR translation)

okay let's get straight to the point that's gonna make y'all want to call me a stupid bitch who can't read: i legitimately do not think wwx was talking about lwj in this scene! here's why:

first and foremost, let's remember what the status of wangxian's relationship was at this point after sunshot ended

first, phoenix mountain: a callback to their teen dynamic. wwx's silly and flirty personality is back, he teases lwj by throwing a peony at him then asking to borrow his ribbon. lwj is frustrated, etc. lwj forcefully kisses wwx then gets angry at himself. wwx finds him and gets worried that something happened to him. they walk together and talk in very friendly manner until the xuanli incident happens. by the end they part on good terms

then, yunmeng teahouse: the first scene of this chapter. wwx is feeling quite upbeat about seeing lwj as they had a nice chat last time they met. he does a lil phoenix mountan callback by throwing a peony at him, then asking him to come upstairs and hang out. lwj does but it.... doesnt end well. he's worried about wwx's worsening temper and fears he's starting to show signs of loss of control, and asks him once again to go to gusu with him. that severely sours wwx's mood, to the point of snapping at lwj when lwj implies that he'll regret it in the future. lwj realizes his mistake and they become polite again, but the atmosphere is significantly strained, and wwx even comments that he was presumptious and shouldn't have invited him over, which lwj dissents. wwx parts with a cordial but distant "thank you", and on... not great terms

what i think really makes the above hurt though is that, when wwx comes back to yunmeng and jc asks who he met. wwx answers this:

worse than jin zixuan.....oof. im so sorry hgj

so, it really is quite tragic. wwx had a nice time with lwj in phoenix mountain, and because of that he wanted to try and wash away their bad blood, ask him to hang out, recall some stories of their youth, maybe mend this relationship that became so strained during the war! what happens instead is that... he gets the harsh reminder of what (in his mind) lwj thinks of his cultivation, thinks he's not in control of it, that it's dangerous and he should be locked up. with that, they're all back to square one :(

the thing is, MDZS is quite known for being non-linear and having a humongous amount of flashbacks, and they're all set and positioned at the time they were for a reason! the thing is, as most read the novel once and then proceed to only revisit scenes separately, naturally forgetting about the grand-picture and the scenes that come before and after, we might misremember how some events play out or the state of the character arcs and relationships, and i believe the popular fanon interpretation that "omggg wwx was asking yanli this bc he likes lwj but can't admit this yet!!!! 🙈" is quite of a great example of this

but!! it's not for any bad reason, after all both the Audio Drama and CQL kinda play up this moment with some beautiful background music. this is, in the end, a romance novel! but let's put a pin on that for a bit and analyze what led to this scene, and why WWX came looking for shijie to ask her this

so as you see, the scene right before was wei wuxian and jiang cheng talking about jin zixuan, with jc asking wwx to not pick fights with him anymore since he's the heir of lanling jin. wwx is baffled because up until that point he and jc were trashtalking buddies when it came to jzx, but there's nothing they can do about it if shijie still likes him

that... makes wwx quite speechless, and he goes searching for her to get an answer. in his mind, jzx is still an awful, undeserving person! so why would shijie like him so much?

why would someone like another person?

of course, he's not as shameless to ask shijie right to her face why she likes someone like jzx, esp since she's already well familiar with his poor opinion of him, so he tries getting an "unbiased" answer by making a vague question, which in turn makes shijie think wwx is in love with someone else

now here's the thing: i feel like fandom tends to flanderize wwx when it comes to his unreliable narration, awareness of his own feelings or lan wangji's. we don't have time to get into that now, but if you've followed me for a while you know my thoughts on this

but here, specifically, i do not think wwx is in "denial about his crush" or "waving off because he doesnt want to get caught". his answer feels genuine, and honestly? really sad once you think about it

"I won't like anyone, at least not too much. Wouldn't it be like putting a rein on my own neck?"

this isn't strange once you consider the types of romantic relationships he grew up observing. other than his own parents', which he's mostly forgotten about, a strong love and attatchment sounds more like tying a rope around your neck. even though wwx is a romantic at heart who flirts easily but had been saving his first kiss for 20 years, he's still never felt this type of love for anyone before, and can't imagine putting himself through it

"So, wait... just because WWX said so you think you should believe it? You're telling me the curtains are just blue? If he's not talking about Lan Wangji, then what's the point of this scene?"

glad you asked!

you see, something that MXTX does quite often with the flashback placement in MDZS is contrast the moments where wangxian's relationship was at its best with moments where it was at its worst. As wwx recall these memories, his pre-conceived notions about lwj get challenged and his actions and words get recontextualized! my favorite example is probably the ending of the flashback of wwx's return, to him waking up in the cloud recesses

no i'll never shut up about this flashback placement. my goddd

so, when looking at the "why would someone like another person" scene, i ask you to not look at it by itself, but as a part of the literary work that mdzs is! because, as the wangxian of the past are stuck in this cordial, but strained relationship, do you remember where the wangxian of the present have currently been left at?

if you ask me, there is something incredibly sweet about leaving these characters at their most tender --- when one is finally beginning to not only understand his own feelings, but to suspect that those feelings are requited, in which he's allowing himself to imagine a calm and happy future with him right as they march inside the lion's den --- and meeting them again when they're younger, and strained, and not fully knowing how to communicate that they care for each other, which in turn only hurts them both.

there is something very sweet about seeing wwx who is slowly realizing that he's in love, testing the waters of that, seeing how much he can take, in what ways he can ask for affection, and then seeing him again as he says "i won't ever like someone, at least not so much. wouldnt it be suffocating? wouldn't it be an impediment? wouldnt it be shackling yourself?" because you, like a cheeky grandma, can look at him and think: you don't know yet, but i've seen you then. you will like someone very much, and it won't be restraining. in fact, you'll never feel more free...

and that is the biggest thing, about revisiting this scene after you're done. because you'll look back this 20-something WWX who genuinely believed loving someone to much is like putting a rein around his own neck... and knowing he'll know a love that not only will not feel like a restrain*, but will be there to catch him whenever something does

*okay, except in bed, but that's only a bonus for wwx

#i kinda miss literary analysis class. this is a love letter to my literature teachers #mdzs is a beautiful literary work and deserves to be treated as such!#anyways uhhh. wangxian is poggers #i feel like sometimes in people's attempts to make wx more tropey and traditionally romantic #it makes them lose what actually makes their romance so special #and the brilliance of the flashback placements in mdzs #i already wrote a lot today so no tag essay lmao. enjoy!#modao #lace speaks #do i put this in the tag? ehhhh #demi wwx

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koishua · 3 months

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10 QUESTIONS FOR U - valentines edition

favorite color of roses?

favorite flowers?

you can send a love letter to anyone. fictional/idols/celebs. who?

which idols have the best rizz?

most rizzful mutual?

favorite petnames/nicknames? giving or recieving?

fictional characters you're in love with?

have you ever had an online crush?

songs that you want to play at your wedding?

fav breakup songs?

fav love-themed kpop song?

mutual with beautiful themes?

pink vs red ? coquette vs old money / preppy?

favorite sweets?

DRINK WATER + YOU ARE LOVED <3

aww thank you!! you're super lovely and loved too :((

blue roses, but i really really like light pink ones as well. the flower shop i used to work at had a bunch of colours hehe

i really really really like carnations and freesias and also there's a magnolia tree close by and its pink flowers are to die for

girl bye im way ahead of you im sending one to yoshinori lmao but like not in a romantic sense like i have never thought of him that way but i really do want to send him a love letter of sorts to express how much he means to me!! platonically!!

rizz... i would have to say for me personally heejake, jiwoong, jimin bc he's an actual people magnet, sunwoo omfg sunwoo goodbye?????? but the thing is san imo too?? i also kind of wanna add ningning too bc i would fold in point two seconds... also yunjin bc as much as i have always been a loyal chaewon ult, i would quite literally pass out if she looked at me like she looks at the girlies she's effortlessly rizzed

none of y'all have rizz goodness gracious bye in my head all of you are either cute or scary gremlins

i get called a bajillion nicknames irl idek atp?? but here i really really like it when ria calls me enna i just find it so so cute but i also like it when people call me vie!! it's short and simple and also kind of humorous bc c'est la vie. ps. i die of joy when ppl still call me vera from time to time tyvm it's like being reminded of my roots AS FOR PET NAMES!! i once got called kitten and it made me promptly hurl it was insane just insane it felt like an out of body exp. i love it when my friends call me girlie tho it makes me feel like such a girly pop. one of my friends calls me her honey and it's saur heartwarming. as for giving....... i like to call people my child lmao they could be older than me idc all of my friends are first and foremost my children. other than that i can't really call anyone anything else it's so awkward for me to give any sort of affection lol

im in love with natsume hyuga from gakuen alice idk if y'all know but me personally oof that black cat oof oof i used to burn with a passion for him. also chat noir from miraculous... im sensing a theme here. also jeong guwon bc he's an ass babygirl that i find super duper annoying but also sth about him being so big and protective like GIRLIESSSSS. although im always ALWAYS reserved for han seojun and han seojun only.

i never had a real online crush so no. really admired? yeah lots

never thought about that yet hold on i feel so ashamed as a self proclaimed the most hopeless romantic!! canon in D— just kidding. probably soft piano versions to romantic iu songs hehe

never felt it, but probably ending scene by iu bc i cry every time

SAURRRR MANY i have to create a list bc im an avid romantic genre listener omgomg

i haven't seen them in a while im sorry i can't pick ;-; @atrirose @boyfhee @yrhome @niningz @blueprint-han @cotccotc off the top of my head?? love your mobile themes muah muah i haven't seen your webs so i can't say much about them but im sure they're great!!

always a sucker for deep red and the old money aes. even had individual themes for both!! and i love when ppl dress preppy but i can't pull it off :(

I LOVE ANYTHING CHOCOLATE !! AND COFFEE !! opera cake, tiramisu, brownies, profiteroles, etc etc!!

#ii. ( pt ) —! asks #anon #jail time for me bc i should've answered this sooner anon i apologize soooo deeply

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shortpplfedup · 1 year

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My School President Episode 11: So what now?

Man I freaking loved this episode. Grief, healing and the power of friendship? An overprotective mother's internal struggle to let her son grow up and live his own life? Sign me up. An incredibly focused episode this week, as Chinzhilla doesn't win Hot Wave and almost comes apart over it, and Ms. Potjanee contemplates how to broach the subject of Gun with Tinn now that she's realised they're together.

Verse: Sad est moi

Didn't I give it all? Tried my best Gave you everything I had, everything and no less

Adele | Take It All (2011)

The stages of grief, starring Anger as the main character. Watching our boys first turn away from each other, then lash out at each other as Por (!) tries desperately to keep them all together...that hurt a lot. To fail at this thing they had so much of their self-worth tied up in causes a big spiral. They really left everything on that stage, and still came up short. Life goes that way sometimes. Add in the disastrous return trip to the temple at the beach where everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and it's no wonder they're all at each other's throats. Harsh words are spoken. Fisticuffs are threatened. Tears are shed. Watching Win lash out at Gun was especially painful, because Win has been the most loyal. He has been the one most supportive of Gun's leadership, so to see him scream repeatedly at Gun that their loss is his fault...oof. We already know that's exactly how Gun feels, so for Win to just scream it in his face over and over and over was the absolute worst. I hated every minute of the boys fighting, they're all so fragile, so scared, so hurt, so sad.

We've already seen that Por may be dumber than a bag of hair, but has a keen emotional intelligence. I loved him bringing the fight to a swift close by taking the blame onto himself, by reminding them that THEY ARE FRIENDS FIRST AND FOREMOST and they shouldn't be fighting like this, that they have to mourn together, and keep going. He basically shames them all into acting right, all while wearing a fab outfit and sporting a broken leg. And then Yak, who understands intimately this particular pain, calls to remind them in his own way that there's life after this. That losing Hot Wave doesn't mean they're losers. Yak's band winning their Freshy Music Contest (look, in my head BB and MSP exist in the same universe, just go with it) is some sweet after the bitter. This defeat isn't the end, as much as it feels that way. There will be victories to come, and one of those victories is getting to see the next generation try and hopefully succeed.

There hasn't been a great deal made of the fact that the Music Club doesn't have any juniors for Gun et al to hand the Holy Chinchilla over to, but it's been noteworthy to me. Chinzhilla is a tradition that's been passed down, along with You Got Ma Back, for generations we've been told, but Gun and the gang seem to be the end of the line. There hasn't been interest in joining the bunch of slacker losers who just eat BBQ pork and never accomplish anything. But it seems like the band are more loved than they think, with the student body voting for them to play the prom. The school year might be winding down, graduation might be approaching, but there's still time for some kid or kids to poke their head around that corner and ask 'is this Music Club?'

Bridge: Facing the music

I'm holding on (barely) Mama's got a lot to learn (it's heavy) I'm holding on (catch me) Mama's got a lot to learn (teach me)

Adele | My Little Love (2021)

The other big story this week is Ms. Potjanee slowly and quietly coming to terms with her baby boy being queer. She almost fumbles it at every juncture, but she always pulls back and does the right thing. I was SO NERVOUS when she went to see Gun, but in the end she didn't put her jumbled feelings on him and I breathed a sigh of relief. Her asking Tinn flat out if Gun invited him to the beach, and him deciding to trust her with the truth that he is going on Gun's invitation, and her just quietly allowing it without asking questions in that moment...it's all so well done. Potjanee is trying so hard to do right by her son, even as she struggles with all that means, like not being overprotective and trusting that she has raised Tinn to handle the slings and arrows of the world. It's a different response from Ms. Gim, who I think is going to start wedding planning when Gun tells her he and Tinn are dating, but it's still the response of a loving mother. It's why I don't buy the cliffhanger dread and the doom preview: because Potjanee has continued to struggle but in the end do the right thing.

Ad Libs

It looks like most of the Chinzhilla boys haven't secured a university place. I wasn't surprised at Gun and Win, but Pat and Por not having future plans in place yet was a bit unexpected. I wonder if this is kids who've done the direct admission exams at this point while the others are still preparing for the GAT.

Watching Chinzhilla dream-sing 'Healing' to themselves put me right in my feels.

Is Ford gunning for the Mix Sahaphap sultriness crown? There was WAY too much sauce for a high school romcom coming off Por when he was flirting with Tiw.

That said, the Tiw/Por came out of nowhere but I refuse to be mad about it.

Tinn is EXACTLY the kind of boy who would gift his musician boyfriend a custom-made music box that plays the love song he wrote for him. Mixtapes are for the weak!

They're playing with us now when it comes to a Tinn/Gun kiss...lol. But in a way I'm glad they're dealing with the parents stuff first.

After the Bad Buddy episode 12 preview I'm absolutely not believing a single moment of this one.

The finale is going to be prom, and I can't think of a more fitting way to end this story (until Our Skyy 2 anyway).

#my school president #chinzhilla rocks!#bl meta series

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littleblueberryartist · 1 year

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genshin au asks you say…….

heehee what if nbd actually got /got/ by signora :) wonder if that would change the dynamics between descendants and venti 🤔?

also for some reason i keep imagining diluc’s fursona is a horse

OHOHOHO

Also I don't know if we've actually told the public about what happens with signora afsgags

Okay some context setting: so when the cast encounters signora in RF nbd is there too. And since his family's whole thing is sharing a face with the anemo archon we thought it'd be funny if they did a little unintentional switcheroo with the two 😁

Signora can't tell who's the archon so she ends up targeting nbd because he runs his mouth more lol. And even if she's wrong, targeting someone from a family favoured by the god would surely draw him out (it does)

Now onto the thoughts!

Man if Venti wasn't fast enough and signora *got* got him,,,, Well for one Venti would be devastated. And nbd is the youngest of the descendants (around 17 as of now?), even younger than NB was towards the end of the rebellion. So I imagine that the other descendants would be somewhat doting and protective of the guy at times (not to mention his unspecified number of biological siblings) they would probably not take any of this well.

Though in this case the blame would likely go to signora first and foremost (rag d, who also lost his dad to the fatui: Maybe I will follow that diluc fellow and go on a fatui killing spree after all-) I can see the political relations between mond and the fatui straining even more because of this cuz no doubt shit got strained in canon but a death? One of a prominent family no less? Yeah that's not gonna slide.

But yeah I think looking at venti would hurt them all for a while. Ad would probably try to approach him the most since she was in on it the longest after nbd and knows venti more as a person. But she was also very close with nbd so oof.

Rag d and Kaeya would probably both need some time. Rag d is in on it and would know the reason but both he and Kaeya were raised very closely with nbd's family because the Ragnvindr line in RF was re-founded by NB via adoption (rip to red haired warrior, died bitchless) so uh that was basically their little brother??? Yeah. I wonder who would be more upset. The guy that knows that venti is a god and thus the reason why nbd had a target put on his back? Or the guy that only knows venti as the "cousin" that popped out of nowhere and has his suspicions about the guy. They'd both go and comfort nbd's family though

Speaking of nbd's family, they're also in the know. So would they look at their (warped and misinterpreted) duty differently? Death was never part of the deal so why did their youngest have to go? Would it be an honour to die with the anemo archon by his side? Or a tragedy because not even a god could stop it?

Jean would probably try to prioritise her duty before her own feelings but her grief might leak through while dealing with the political matters perhaps (maybe Ad will join her and finally use her political skills)

Eula swears vengeance and not just as a form of speaking. You killed her friend, one of the ones who defended her from the people (the other being amber ofc). Prepare to die.

Oh and Venti,,, I wonder what venti would do tbh. I see him as someone who has a good grasp and control over his emotions after so many years of learning to deal with them. But something that /gets/ him is his loved ones getting hurt. Also NB still gets shot in RF he just survives it so nbd getting hurt/killed would probably bring back some nastey memories. So would he let signora leave unscathed is the question 👀

ALSO DILUC HORSE FURSONA RAG D'S LOVE OF HORSES HAS SURPASSED INTERDIMENSIONAL BARRIERS

#genshin impact #reversed fates au #venti #jean #kaeya #eula #signora #genshin oc #I will have so many names to add onto this once we name them all #anyway this got l o n g lol #thanks for the ask lantern you came in immediately with the angst bat XD

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oldcoyote · 2 years

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"How I wanted to be a writer my entire life until Glee fandom literally just crushed it right out of me" OK except you were one of the most popular writers in Glee ficdom so how did that 'crush' anything? I'm sorry if this seems rude but your tweet seems rude when so many of us supported you and your writing.

oh god ok. first off, i am very sorry if the tweet caused any offense - that was certainly not my intention at all. but i need you to understand that the situation at the end of my time as neaf in Glee fandom was an iceberg; you only saw the very top peak, and there was a veritable fuckload of traumatic shit going on underneath.

let me explain properly, at last, why i left

let me say first and foremost that i am still overwhelmingly grateful for the support and kindness that thousands of people in Glee fandom showed me. for the response to my writing, the support for the blog itself, and for the wonderful interactions on this site day in and day out that made those some of the best days of my life

that said, when you have a blog like that, one that grows rapidly in popularity, you do get - as I did - an array of responses that vary from unsettling (people wanting your advice, people coming to you for help), to upsetting (people despising you for your undeserved popularity), to downright frightening (people trying to find your real name and home address, people building shrines to you, and no i'm not joking on that last one)

the main reason i started the blog was to get my writing out there, that's why the blog began, but it became such a huge part of my life due to the popularity of it that i spent the vast majority of my days on it answering messages and interacting with everyone. my entire world became the blog, and it had a deeply negative impact on my real life relationships - which was one reason why i left

another big reason why was the volume of asks i would get about people's trauma, none of them with any warnings, or asks begging me for help or exposure. they were ceaseless, and exhausting, and after years of it i was struggling to cope

and then there was the drama, or the rest of the iceberg, so to speak - the real, main reason i left

essentially, in the early days of the blog i was happily oblivious to a growing discontent with my presence in fandom. other writers and big names (BNFs or 'big name fans' i believe was the term, oof) in the fandom had slowly become angry that i was getting so much undeserved attention for my blog and my fics, and while i still to this day don't know why they hated me so damn much, that hate was very real and it grew rapidly. vagueposting began about me being full of myself, about how little i deserved what i was getting, about how unfair it was that people liked my work when my writing was so bad. eventually, my attention was brought to it by a friend who was also a friend of theirs, and i remember that night so well - the night i discovered how deeply these people who didn't even know me absolutely loathed me, and how many of them there were

after a lot of crying and weighing options, i decided to ignore it, and leave them be. our spheres rarely crossed anyway, why engage and potentially make it worse? but ignoring it didn't help, as with all hate it begged for attention, and it continued to spread to places where it became far more visible - like my ask box

then the stories started.

on anonymous Glee hate-gossip groups on livejournal and dreamwidth, they went in and made up tales about things i'd never actually done - the nastier details of which i will leave out, but suffice it to say i was painted as a self-serving, self-obsessed bitch who used her followers to ostracize other writers, and far worse. i was suddenly Cassandra Claire 2.0., but in my case, it was as horrifying as it was fictional, and it left me helpless to defend myself without giving it more attention despite the fact that i could prove none of it was true

i felt broken at that point already, but then came the doxxing, and the fallout

during my time on the blog i'd made quite a few close friends with other very popular bloggers, some of whom were adored by fandom and some of whom were... well, very much not. but they were my friends and i stuck by them, even when they did things i didn't necessarily agree with

now, a very dear friend of mine who wasn't a huge 'bnf' had written a fic based around a fairly uncommon AU that had barely been done before in the fandom. it was a wonderful fic, and wasn't getting the attention it deserved (in my opinion), but i reblogged it whenever i could to draw attention to it. not long after it became popular, another close friend - one with a bigger blog and a vast array of followers - decided to write a very similar story right down to the AU type. when i mentioned in passing that it was very similar to the first fic that was going around and did they intend that, they got very angry with me, yelled at me for insinuating that they were copying someone else, and the friendship quickly imploded after that in a messy, ugly kind of way, taking other friends out with it

when i say it got ugly, i mean that this person was the kind of person vagueblogging and vindictiveness was invented for. i also learned the hard way thought the fallout that this 'friend' was actually one of the people who had been going and posting things about me that weren't true, just to drum up hatred for the neaf blog and to knock me down a peg

then, out of nowhere, someone started leaving my real name in my inbox. i was horrified and frightened, and used an old trick to try and track the IP address of the anonymous sender. it turned out to be, once again, that friend's location

in the wake of all of that, feeling absolutely gutted and betrayed by one of my closest friends, feeling overwhelmed by begging strangers, and spending too much time on the gleeme dreamwidth reading about what a disgusting and worthless person i was and how my writing was such a joke -- i fell to pieces, and stopped functioning for a few days

finally, after i got myself back together, i realised what i had to do. ending my time in the Glee fandom was largely done for my mental health - but the biggest step in that was stopping writing altogether. even now, the idea of writing makes me sick to my stomach. i will never regret the fics i wrote, i know how much joy they did bring to a lot of people, and i will forever be grateful for those who read them and continue to read them on ao3. there are people across the world with my words tattooed on their bodies, in my handwriting. there are people all over who still remember me fondly, and that brings me a great deal of peace and comfort

but i cannot forget the hate, or the cruelty, that these people flung at a complete stranger on the internet just because it was fun for them to do so. when i say my writing was crushed out of me, it has nothing to do with my gratitude, please believe that. it's just that it literally was.

#the neaf thing #fandom histories #glee related

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lyranova · 8 months

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Buckle up because I'm going to be asking a few questions here!

For Discorida: Eros 3 and Philia 4?

For Zera: Storge 2 (Zera lives AU), and Ludus 2?

For Neva: Pragma 2 and Philautia 2?

Finally for Alistar: Philia 5?

*buckles up* Ooo I’m so excited for these questions hehehehe 😈😆😁!

Discordia:

Eros:

3 How do they feel about public displays of romantic affection? Does it make them uncomfortable? How do they feel if a romantic partner kisses them in public?

Discordia is not a fan of PDA 😆! It doesn’t make her uncomfortable so much as it makes her feel awkward. If someone were to hug her or anything like that she would kind of just stand there like “Seriously?” Or “What do i do???” Because her parents weren’t very affectionate towards her, so when others are, she just freezes. Oof if Moros were to kiss her in public she would freeze up initially, and then probably slap/or punch him. Ofc she would do it out of embarrassment, but also out of anger too 😆!

Philia:

4 Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?

I think she is, but it’ll take a bit of time! She would have to get over her prejudices and first impressions, but once that person was able to get through to her and show her how wrong she was, she’d be able to get close to them!

Zera:

Storge:

2 Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans?

Okay for the Zera Lives AU! She and William do have children, 5 to be exact! They have Alistar, Sebastian, Daisy, Sunni, and Mavis 🥰! Zera is very much a mama bear and loves all of her children fiercely, she would go to the ends of the earth for them, and if one of her children asked her to burn the world in order to keep them warm, she would probably do it 😆!

Zera loves all of her children equally, and would do anything for them, but admittedly she does have a special fondness for Alistar because of how traumatic everything was during her pregnancy and his birth. So while she loves all of her children 100% she loves Alistar at 105% 🤣!

Ludus:

2 Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?

Oh Zera is very skilled at flirting 😏😆! I think for her flirting comes naturally, but she’s also had a lot of practice since she watched her brothers do it to try and get dates, as well as other shop owners who were trying to sell their products and gain clients.

But i think even without seeing and watching others Zera would be naturally gifted at flirting, it’s just a natural talent she was born with 😆!

Neva:

Pragma:

2 What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

Hmm…I think Neva’s biggest challenge that she needed to overcome was her being vulnerable with Yuno and her friends. The last time she was vulnerable with people it ended up destroying her life, so she didn’t want to put herself through that again.

I think her friends and Yuno’s understanding, patience, and encouragiment helped her get through it. Helped her finally bring down her walls and let her be herself around them, allowed her to be vulnerable and honest with them without fear of it being used against her in some way.

Philautia:

2 Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?

Hmm…I think Neva does believe it’s important to love oneself before they can love others authentically. But I don’t think she really practices it at first. Because while she loves and cares about others, she doesn’t really love or accept herself until way later in life. So, while she believes one should love themselves first before loving others, she doesn’t really practice it herself!

Alistar:

Philia:

5 What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

Alistar’s most fervent wish for his best friends is for them to be happy, live comfortably, and be peaceful. All of his friends had done so much for him, and had gone through so much, that he feels that they deserve at least that much!

As for how far he would go to make that happen, well, he would do whatever it took to give them that. He would fight anyone that stood in his way, he would go to the ends of the earth, and If he had to, he would even turn himself into a villain 😈👀!

#asks #erika♠️#my lovely mutuals #oc; discordia #oc; zera #oc neva #oc; alistar #black clover oc #oc ask game #thanks for asking💕!

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focusandrelaxforme · 11 months

Text

Documenting My Subject's Hypno Slavery Journey (Part 10)

- More than a few of you dear readers have expressed an interest in KittySub’s marriage and just how that fits into our arraignment, so I had her write up something that explains their dynamic.

- While I have no problems with her seeing others in the future, I do have my concerns about securing her safety during any potential meet-ups, so that’s something to further discuss and explore down the line.

- At this point, most if not all sexual interactions between her husband and her are happening with my approval and guidance. As stated previously, I’m having her focus more on oral pleasures as a way to ensure that the idea of service is first and foremost. This includes being able to cum only if her mouth is filled.

- Hypnosis-wise, this is manifesting as a craving to have a cock in her mouth (real or otherwise) at all times, so I expect that she’ll get more and more use out of that dildo gag of hers. Our primary roadblock here seems to be her aversion to swallowing cum, which I’m currently training her to crave more and more. Even vaginal sex should end with cum in her mouth.

- That said, being forced to feel pleasure at something that makes her gag does have its own benefits when it comes to training, as it reinforces her submission and feeling of being controlled.

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Dear Diary,

Master has asked me to write about my husband today so people can know more about our arrangement. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years and have known each other for over 11. A few years into our relationship, my sister and I discovered the online game second life, and I started talking to people on it. I was able to explore my submissive side more. After that my husband and I tried to explore it together irl. We discovered soon after that we weren't compatible as Dom and sub, but we did find out that my husband has a big kink for me speaking to others. He loves knowing that other people want to do things to me. After our discovery, my husband allowed me to post an add on craigslist looking for an online Dominant. I was soon flooded with inbox messages and easily found someone to experiment with. I spoke to this person for a couple months before my husband suggested I meet him in person. My in person meet was terrifying. I met the Dom in a restaurant parking lot in the middle of the day, so I was safe. When his car pulled up, I got out to meet him and he instantly grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled me to his car. Then he pushed me into the passenger side and shut the door behind me. We sat in the parking lot in his car and spoke for a long time.. while he watched for people walking by. We had an innocent chat. But every so often he would reach over and slap my breasts or my face. And he choked me a bit and put his fingers into my mouth to test my gag reflex. It all sounds weird coming out now, but it was very hot at the time. He would ask me basic questions and then just hit me out of nowhere or he would reach down into my pants and rub my clit. I must have came 10 or more times in his car that day, and soaked his seat...Oof. After a while he asked me if I would want to go for a walk with him in a park down the road. I accepted and he walked me back to my car, then I proceeded to follow him to the park in my car. When we got to the park, we walked on the trail, into a wooded area. He surprised me by pulling me to a tree and telling me to get on my knees. He then proceeded to fuck my mouth until I gagged multiple times. I was so excited that I was practically cumming from his cock in my throat. He then had me bend over and pulled my pants down and slid himself into me. He fucked me for a few minutes until we saw a car pull up on a road nearby and we scrambled to hide ourselves. After that he decided to finish in my mouth, right down my throat. I loved it! I was in subspace heaven after all the impact, gagging and cumming, then he walked me back to my car and sent me on my way home. This is where the date went bad. It was at this point that I came crashing down emotionally and called my husband in a panic. He knew I was there, but it was so weird knowing he had just let me see another man. I repeatedly apologized and cried as I drove home. He calmed me and told me how happy he was. And I told him all about my meet and when I got home ai was still soaking wet. He was so excited that he fucked me right on the floor of our living room when I got home. He loved every minute... and so did I. Since then, I have met with several more people, and learned the dos and don'ts of BDSM. I also learned the proper aftercare is a thing that I deserve. I have many other crazy stories that I could tell, but I think I've gotten my point across. My husband and I have a pretty open arrangement. I meet people or speak to them online, and he gets to fuck me with little to no foreplay, and we are both pretty happy. Sometimes I give him details and sometimes I don't. Its really up to him. Over the years we have explored more with Doms giving us both instructions, and we also had a threesome once with one of my exes. He enjoyed that a lot! It was very humiliating for me, and scary to be so open for 2 people at once. Anyway...I am writing this whole journal with my dildo gag pressed into my mouth and drool dripping down my chin and into my cleavage. .. I also have my dildo inside me per Masters instructions. Master said that maybe sometime in the future, i could practice my oral skills on another man. I expressed my feelings of wanting to be able to deep throat better, so he told me that he might only let me cum with my mouth full. This morning I had to get ready for work with my gag in. it was so humiliating and I prayed that my husband wouldn't wake as I walked around the house drooling and casually gagging while I got dressed. While he is aware of some of the things I do... that doesn't stop him from judging me at times. I am not quite sure he believes in hypno too. . I'm sure soon he will start to believe more... especially if I have to wear this gag more. It’s so embarrassing to wear. Why does my pussy get so soaked while wearing it though; it doesn't make sense. Anyway I will leave you with that!

Sincerely, Masters very drooly slave..

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#hypnotized girl #hypno girl #hypnosis #hypnokink #hypnosub #irlhypnosis #kittysub #hypno journal

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zhongster · 2 years

Note

Gray fullbuster headcanons? ;3

Icy Sasuke my love

Also sorry for the wait haha :)

THIS IS KINK CONTENT, DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT

First and foremost, he’s constantly getting into burping contests with Natsu

CONSTANTLY

Like if one of them burps because they just had to burp the other will always retaliate and try to burp louder

These contests usually end in some sort of draw because while Natsu has volume Gray has length

He lets out the super loooooong lengthy belches

He doesn’t really get embarrassed by them either

Honestly he probably doesn’t really acknowledge them unless he’s either challenging or being challenged by Natsu

If he has to burp he’ll thump his (usually bare) chest a few times until the burp comes out

His only response afterwards is to smack his chest again to either clear his throat or force up a smaller after-burp

Sometimes if it’s a bigger one he’ll respond with a soft “oof”

He doesn’t usually excuse himself because he doesn’t really see a need to

He definitely knows how because while Ur is probably the person who taught Gray how to burp she also taught him that some situations call for him to excuse himself

He definitely used to get into contests with Lyon when they were little

Nowadays Gray only really excuses himself when he’s around Master Makarov or other elders that he wants to be respectful towards

He has a tendency to rip suuuuuper long belches outta nowhere when he’s traveling for a job with the group (Natsu, Lucy, Happy, Ezra, Wendy, Carla)

He definitely does that when they’re riding the train to their destination

He burps and then continues staring out the window as if nothing happened

This is usually met with a “Gross Gray!” From Lucy and a challenge from Natsu

Sometimes if it was a really big one and Lucy throws enough of a fit he’ll turn to her and go “…oh… sorry”

I do think he can burp on command

As I mentioned earlier in this post, I think Ur taught him and Lyon when they were kids

He probably doesn’t really use the ability often though

Only when he’s found himself in a contest with Natsu

Otherwise he only ever burps when he feels like he needs to

youtube

#burping #eructophilia #belching #gray fullbuster #fairy tail

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dreamwritesimagines · 2 years

Text

i haven’t read a word yet but i can already tell that the Pride™️ and Stubbornness™️ in this chapter is going deafening so lemme just grab some water to calm my nerves real quick LMAO. okay, here we go:

“I checked the other room and when I couldn’t find you there I searched you in the house before coming here.” Lucieeee. stop she’s too precious. i love how the first thought she had was that Cherie was awake early and had gone around the house instead of them sleeping in separate beds bc they had a fight. i’m pretty sure this is all so new to everyone in the house bc well, it’s a different kind of screaming LMAO. ah, nothing like like the fact that you’re forced to be together to show face during a fight alskalsk i can tell this won’t end well. i feel like this ball i just bad news. but i’m feeling calm so far. let’s see how fast that’ll change.

“Uh…he left early this morning my lady.” oof. idk if this is a good choice or not. bc on one hand, he’s giving her space bc i feel like that’s what he’s been led to believe she needs and wants. and tbh, they both kinda need it. on another hand, i feel like Cherie would take it differently. [future me here: sigh, i was right]

“Perhaps you both need to calm down in solitude first.” THANK U. Lucie out here speaking facts. well, this is one upside to this argument. at least it made her be productive?? lakslakslaks they’ve been so busy with each other they hadn’t really gotten any work done lmao.

“Of course it was nonsense, Anthony was in love with you, he had promised you that he would be loyal to you.” god i hope she keeps repeating that. bc that it’s the truth first and foremost. but doubtful thoughts can get powerful sometimes.

“you had to find a way to make him pay for everything he had done, to take revenge for the pain he caused your mother and your whole family.” ….i have a bad feeling about this. “but somehow, the doubts managed to seep into your thoughts, making you think the worst.“ I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS TOO. god…if she angrily accuses Anthony of this and doubts his love for her……it’s going to hurt him so much and i really am not looking forward to how he’ll react.

“My lady.” oh dear….this is lowkey petty but why am i loving it? lakslaksmlakdhcnakf i mean, it’s obvious he’s upset. and he has every right to. it’s kinda like, doing your best to protect the ones you love only to get scolded by it. “Oh now you want to have a conversation?” i feel so mean but he’s being so petty i love it alskasksaslkl like i understand his frustration but it’s also kinda funny bc i see him being all pouty and everything.

“Tell Cece and Elias to find me. No matter how late it is at night, alright? Tell them to come and talk to me at home.” ……what’s going on?? WTF HUGH WHAT IS THIS??? you can’t just say things like this and leave??? what the hell???? “I’ll be right back, dearest.” A+ for acting Anthony lakslaks

Fred*rick. UGHH ANTHONY WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! YOU DEADASS LEFT AT THE WRONG TIME. like i’m genuinely worried for her safety here. “Could I ask for a dance, perhaps?” THIS FUCKING. SO THAT’S WHAT THE TITLE IS FOR. i thought it was going to be Anthony and Cherie dancing and being tense and bickering and arguing. NOT THIS!! THIS IS A RED ALERT. I DON’T LIKE THIS.

“Father was heavy on her heart, so much that she talked about him on her deathbed, dreaming of him until her last breath.” CHERIE YOU GO GIRL. hit him where it hurts oh my gooodness yes. just hearing that Cassie chose Percy over and over and over even after everything will DEFINITELY hit a nerve. but i fear this will only make him clap back harder and i’m scareeeeed. playing fire with fire never ends well.

“Clearly. One could say I saved her.” god this man is so egotistical i want to maim him. “If it weren’t for you,” he said. “She could’ve been happy with me.” …….see what i mean about playing fire with fire??? ugh i hate this man. I FUCKING HATE THIS MAN.

“Your mother was never going to be with him.” yup, someone tattoo this on Fuckwads™️ head pls. but i’m afraid he’s already far too gone in his daydream and very much delusional that he’d never believe a word that is said that goes against him. i mean, even Cassie herself can’t make him think otherwise anymore to a point that he’ll claim her judgement is skewed.

“I disagree. It’s quite clear that she was soft hearted.” // “Why?” // “You’re still alive.” LMAO YES QUEEN. but god, she’s spitting fire but i’m honestly scared as to what she’ll get in return.

“Because we know nothing about him! We have no idea what he’s capable of yet! You’re much smarter than this, what has gotten into you since last night?” i mean…..Anthony has a very good point. like, the few interactions alone, Fuckwad™️ seems to be a man who has a few screws lose…or too many tbh. who’s to say he won’t pull an absolute insanity and actually had a pistol in his pocket during the dance? get that ultimate revenge?? bc that will hurt Percy for sure. and considering how much he hates Cherie….the thought makes me shudder but it’s likely to happen, especially when Fuckwad™️ starts thinking he has nothing more to lose. his obsession with Cassie is bordering dangerous at this point, i mean look how far he got last time without actual care to the woman he claims to love like he wasn’t scared to hurt Cassie emotionally then. what more now when she’s already gone? like if you think about it, nothing’s stopping him now. and so we really don’t know what he’s capable of.

“I’m allowed to dance with whomever I want and so are you—which I’m sure you’re very happy about.” oh god….pls don’t do it. “Where were you today?” ah….there it is. Anthony’s reaction ugh. and don’t get me wrong, i get it. trust isn’t easy to build back up again, for some it takes years even. but hmm, how do i explain this. i’ll try my best to make this make sense but it’s like her doubts are fueled by the wrong reasons almost? i know that sounds so so bad but like, we have moments where we feel insecure of course and we all need a lil bit of reassurance from time to time. but with this situation, it’s kinda like, she’s trying to make Anthony the villain in a way. maybe not on purpose but it’s kinda like how, she can’t admit to herself that she was wrong, so as a defensive stance, she’s trying to find other ways to justify her anger. like she’s trying to find something wrong with Anthony just so she can blame him or stay angry at him in a way that will totally be justified. it’s like, when she asks herself “why am i mad at Anthony?” she’ll come face to face with the fact that, she really had no proper reason why she’s mad at him, and that her blowing up at him wasn’t right. so with pride and stubbornness in the mix, instead of admitting to herself that she’s wrong, she’s trying to find other reasons to be mad at him for. it’s like she’s keeping ammo at the ready. even tho now, she’s just starting to feed her thoughts with doubts you know? am i making sense??? i hope i am alskalk anyways. i hope they get to talk about it. calmly and maturely, like it won’t her for her to hear from Anthony that he would never do that to her, even tho she knows that already. but like i said, we need a bit of reassurance from time to time. bc once she starts accusing him heavily, it’s going to hurt them both.

“You’re not walking home alone, Y/N.” // “If you give me one more order I swear to God—” okay, i will be honest. i don’t get why when it comes to her safety she always interpret it as Anthony giving her orders alksalksk like, she can be as mad as she wants but she can’t say Anthony’s wrong here with walking alone. let’s not forget who she is, she’s a viscountess now, a duke’s daughter at that. and even if we remove all that, she’s a lady still, jewels from head to toe. do we really think no ones going to take advantage of that?? “Alright, how about—” Elias said. “Y/N, I’ll walk you home. Anthony Cece is inside, keep an eye on her until I get back?” thank u Eli gheez i am losing my patience LMAO

“Everyone seems to think otherwise for some reason but I know what I’m doing.” hmm, i’m not too sure about that. i hope she does. bc this is going to be so so bad if she doesn’t. like one misstep will cause so so much.

“But I’m not sacrificing you for revenge either. And what you did last night? He’s not pulling you down with him Chérie. Whatever we do, it will hurt him and only him. Not either one of us.” THANK YOU ELIAS UGH. i know we keep teasing how Anthonias™️ sometimes don’t have braincells even as a duo lmao but when it’s actually comes to family and logical business etc. they’re actually so smart with it?? they are for sure lacking in the romance department in earlier chapters lol but you can’t deny that both Elias and Anthony have a really balanced head on their shoulders when it comes to protecting their families and making sure everyone is safe all while dealing with the enemy. kinda like a war tactic.

“I admit last night got a bit out of hand.” hmm you should probably tell that to Anthony too ya know. “he either ignores me or tries to give me orders to control me.“ where is this coming from??? LAKSLAKSFHAEF i honestly don’t see where she gets this bc all i see is Anthony trying to look out for her well being and being protective. am i missing something?? LMAO

“I don’t think that’s what he’s doing actually. I think he’s trying to control the situation while making sure you stay unharmed in all this.” Elias i’m going to cry THANK YOU!!! YOU SAY IT!! CAUSE IT’S THE TRUTH!! i’m getting so emotional bc my patience is wearing thin so i’m glad Elias is also talking some sense into her. it’s like screaming at the screen to tell the character not to do something but obviously they can’t hear you so when another character says what you want to say you just feel so relieved LMAO

“That he might have stopped loving me last night.” // Elias blinked a couple of times before a laugh escaped from his lips. ELIAS YOU CAN’T JUST LAUGH ALSKALSDH i mean i giggled a little bc it is ridiculous but i also see why she thinks that. bc i feel like this is the cause of her always being so caught up in the fairytale of marriage and what comes with it. the Marital Bliss™️ thinking that everything is all sunshine and butterflies. i mean, it rocked her world when she got heartbroken when it came to love bc she thought it was all just happiness. so i don’t doubt that she thought marriage was going to be easy once you’re in love, when that’s never the case. and the thing also, her parents hadn’t been the best example. bc that ended in tragedy all bc they always fought. and that’s the only example she saw so in a way, she’s led to believe that fighting will always end in tragedy. it’s like one extreme to another, it’s either fairytale like marriage where it’s all sunshine or toxic marriage where it will end in tragedy. like she hasn’t seen a healthy marriage that shows both the good and bad and is very balanced. so she really doesn’t know any better. “Surely you know a stupid fight isn’t going to change that.” god, i hope she believe Elias. bc if she actually keeps thinking otherwise, she’s going to accuse Anthony of something that will be very hurtful and it’s not going to end well. “It was a different time, both of you had gone through so much since then, and you knew he loved you, deep down you knew he wouldn’t betray you like that.” EXACCCCCCTLY YOU BOTH HAVE GROWN. UGH. SHE KNOWS IT. SHE JUST NEEDS TO BELIEVE IT.

“If you want to ask me something, you should just ask.” okay, i think (i’m not to sure maybe i’m interpreting this wrong) but i think Anthony is giving her an opening her. to voice out her worries so he can reassure her. but she’s being so damn difficult with this vagueness and hints and answering his questions with questions and ugggggh i’m so annoyed SAKDKALSKDALF THEY’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH THIS CONVERSATION.

“I was with Elias the whole day,” he said, his voice on edge.” oh dear, i think it’s getting to him now. bc i do think it’s kinda sad how the first thought Cherie had when he left was that he went the opera instead of you know, Anthony going to his best friend to console him after last night probably? trying to make sure Cece is alright? family and such?? him probably thinking she doesn’t want to see him at the moment and is giving her space to think to cooldown? i mean, that’s what he learned during their first fight wasn’t it? and how he won her back? to not push and give her time? Cece taught him that and i think he’s trying to practice that here too. so it’s sad how neither of those even crossed Cherie’s mind and she immediately thought the worse of him. Anthony probably thinks now that she doesn’t trust him and sees him in a bad light and gosh that’s gotta hurt.

“I think I deserve to know the reason why I was left alone here, considering you’ve done nothing but ignoring me or giving me orders for the last twenty-four hours.” oh god……see what i said about her trying to make Anthony the villain? trying to find other things to be mad about bc the real reason why she got angry in the first place wasn’t “enough” or doesn’t justify her anger and puts her in the wrong?? so rather than admitting it her pride gets in the way. it’s like she’s throwing out accusation as a defense almost.

“What if he tried to hurt you in that ballroom? Hm? Have you ever thought about that? You tried to stab the man last night, what if he decided to do the same right there when I wasn’t looking?” ughhh i hear Anthony so much. and it’s sad that Cherie can’t see just how possible that is. and it’s extra sad that she can’t see just how fucking scared Anthony is of losing her. like for Anthony, any danger Cherie puts herself in isa life and death situation. the nightmare, the worries but mostly his father’s situation bc god, that was such a sudden and unexpected death. so you can imagine why for Anthony, he’s on high alert bc as he said, “You don’t know that! None of us do!” for him, he’s so scared that if he does as much a blinks, something bad is going to happen to Cherie and he’d be too late to save her. and her seeking revenge carelessly in a way is not helping AT ALL. so i can see why it’s making him so so soooo frustrated why she can’t see why he’s being protective of her. or that she’s just brushing it off like it’s not a big deal when to him, it is. bc he thinks he’s going to lose her any second now if he’s not careful enough and ugh. THEY NEED TO FUCKING TALK…..aaaandddd they end up fucking, no talk LMAO.

“Cute.” HELP ASLSKASDALSK WHY DO I FIND HIS RESPONSE SO HOT LMAO. she just fucking bit him and he just finds it cute??? THIS MAN I SWEAR. YOU FREAK ANTHONY. of course he likes it rough, lmao they both do. i mean they’re fucking tearing each other’s clothes alskalskdhhjbv AND HER FLIPPING HIM OVER. Anthony just lost his mind right then and there.

okay, anyways, as much as i am rooting for that Hot Angry Sex™️ i really hope they talk the next morning aslkdjcwlnfnaaslkd like i want them to finally have a heart to heart and be open with each other so they can finally team up SO THEY CAN KILL THAT FUCKING—anyways. i just think them teaming up together to bring down Fuckwad would be so so cool and i’m sure they can bring him down so so quickly that way when they combine Anthony’s logical sense, connections with business etc. and Cherie’s fiery nature. like they’re a power couple through and through. i want them to prove to the ton that these two aren’t one to be messed with individually, but mostly together. but AH this got long alksalkalsk but i honestly can’t wait for more! amazing as always sweets! <3

– TM Anon™️

TM ANON I’M HUGGING YOU RESPECTFULLY❤🥰

Omg I literally read this with a smile on my face and I’M STILL SMILING, YOU’RE AMAZING HONEY! ❤❤❤

Loll Lucie is so used to finding her in Anthony’s room that she didn’t even think of checking her own room before checking the whole house😂 In her mind, Cherie’s room is the ‘dressing room’ 😂

Different kind of screaming LOLL YESSSS! 😂

They definitely needed some space, I feel like if he stuck around they would actually get into another fight 😱

That was the most productive day she’s had since she got married I think 😂

She keeps repeating that but she still has her doubts 😈 Like deep down she knows and yet…😏

He is definitely petty and pouting 😂 Like, they would go back and forth with those sarcastic comments the whole night if the other people let them 😂

Hugh knows thiiiiings 😈 Aaaaaa he will help them out so much ❤

Anthony knew people were watching and he was so adamant in making sure they wouldn’t realize he and Cherie were on bad terms, especially considering it was the first ball they were attending 😏 Well, that is until he saw them dancing😈

THE FACT THAT YOU CENSORED HIS NAMEEEE LMAOOO😂😂

That’s exactly what the title is for😏

Cherie walked into that dance floor ready to go for his throat 😈 But yes, it’s very dangerous to taunt him especially about Cassie…

Cassie would literally attack him with a sword if she so much as heard he’s blaming Cherie for everything that happened ❤

his obsession with Cassie is bordering dangerous at this point, i mean look how far he got last time without actual care to the woman he claims to love like he wasn’t scared to hurt Cassie emotionally then. what more now when she’s already gone? like if you think about it, nothing’s stopping him now. and so we really don’t know what he’s capable of. EXACTLY!

Like, he did all that to Cassie while being convinced that he “loved” her, but to a person he hates? Frederick is much more dangerous to Cherie than he was to Cassie, and Anthony is right! They don’t know his “limits”, which makes him very unpredictable and dangerous 😱

it’s like, when she asks herself “why am i mad at Anthony?” she’ll come face to face with the fact that, she really had no proper reason why she’s mad at him, and that her blowing up at him wasn’t right. so with pride and stubbornness in the mix, instead of admitting to herself that she’s wrong, she’s trying to find other reasons to be mad at him for. it’s like she’s keeping ammo at the ready. THIS! THIIIIIS!

THIS IS SUCH A CORRECT CHARACTER ANALYSIS!

Absolutely, and like, thinking about Cherie’s life so far, she hasn’t been in a really serious conflict situation up until now! She had a very privileged life back in Paris, and even though there were probably some passive aggressive arguments/exchanges, this is literally the first time she’s in a serious argument where she deep down knows she’s wrong, with the person she’s completely in love with❤ So she has no idea how to deal with the fact that

1 – She has to apologize

2 – She is acting quite irrationally and-

3 – She is actually wrong in this

That’s why she keeps changing the reasons why she’s mad at him, because as soon as she takes a moment to question herself, she will have to admit she was wrong, which is something she’s not very used to 😁

okay, i will be honest. i don’t get why when it comes to her safety she always interpret it as Anthony giving her orders alksalksk Oooh I have some ideas about this!😍

So it has something to do with how she was raised as well! Cherie is not used to hearing the word ‘no’, that’s also why she’s quite spoiled 😁 It’s one of her many flaws, and while she was growing up, yes Cassie was disciplined and she had to follow certain rules, but she was also mostly free to do whatever she wanted as long as it was “within the rules” that Cassie and the society gave her ❤ So any time somebody tells her no, or tells her to do something she really doesn’t want to, in her mind it’s giving her orders even if it’s about her safety ❤ Listening to people is something she will have to learn 😂

they are for sure lacking in the romance department in earlier chapters lol but you can’t deny that both Elias and Anthony have a really balanced head on their shoulders when it comes to protecting their families and making sure everyone is safe all while dealing with the enemy. kinda like a war tactic. This is so true!

Because they were basically raised for that ❤ Both Elias and Anthony are the first born sons who was raised with the knowledge that one day, they would become the head of their families and have a lot of responsibilities, so they had to learn how to analyze the situation at hand and find ways to make sure their family stayed unharmed while dealing with that issue ❤

Elias is the voice of reason and I can’t believe I’m saying that😂

so i don’t doubt that she thought marriage was going to be easy once you’re in love, when that’s never the case. and the thing also, her parents hadn’t been the best example. bc that ended in tragedy all bc they always fought. and that’s the only example she saw so in a way, she’s led to believe that fighting will always end in tragedy. it’s like one extreme to another, it’s either fairytale like marriage where it’s all sunshine or toxic marriage where it will end in tragedy. like she hasn’t seen a healthy marriage that shows both the good and bad and is very balanced. so she really doesn’t know any better. YESSSS!

She doesn’t really have a base to build her perception of marriage on! Like, she said it herself at the ladies’ night, how marriage wasn’t as hard as everyone made it seem because she was convinced it was a fairytale almost❤ And you’re absolutely right, she does fear a lot that fighting will end in tragedy just like what happened to her parents💔 And that’s like a huge worry for her, she is so in love with him that even the possibility of that scares the hell out of her ❤

okay, i think (i’m not to sure maybe i’m interpreting this wrong) but i think Anthony is giving her an opening her. to voice out her worries so he can reassure her. Omg exactly! Even though he was angry, he was still trying to have like an open communication with her ❤

him probably thinking she doesn’t want to see him at the moment and is giving her space to think to cooldown? i mean, that’s what he learned during their first fight wasn't it? and how he won her back? to not push and give her time? Cece taught him that and i think he’s trying to practice that here too. OH MY GOD THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE?!

It actually made me look at it from a different point and it’s so true! Like, he is doing what Cece taught him, what “worked” the last time! 😍😱❤

it’s extra sad that she can’t see just how fucking scared Anthony is of losing her. like for Anthony, any danger Cherie puts herself in is a life and death situation. the nightmare, the worries but mostly his father’s situation bc god, that was such a sudden and unexpected death. so you can imagine why for Anthony, he’s on high alert bc as he said, “You don’t know that! None of us do!” for him, he’s so scared that if he does as much a blinks, something bad is going to happen to Cherie and he’d be too late to save her. DEFINITELY!

His father’s sudden death completely traumatized Anthony and he is scared out of his mind that somehow the same will happen to Cherie 💔 He is already having nightmares about it, the thought is probably in some corner of his mind all day whenever he’s away from her, and her putting herself in danger right after trying to attack Frederick –the man who didn’t even care about hurting the woman he supposedly loved- is enough to make him almost spiral 💔

she just fucking bit him and he just finds it cute??? THIS MAN I SWEAR. YOU FREAK ANTHONY. of course he likes it rough, lmao they both do. i mean they’re fucking tearing each other’s clothes alskalskdhhjbv AND HER FLIPPING HIM OVER. Oh yeah, I think they will both discover….ehm, certain things that night 😏😈

i’m sure they can bring him down so so quickly that way when they combine Anthony’s logical sense, connections with business etc. and Cherie’s fiery nature. like they’re a power couple through and through. i want them to prove to the ton that these two aren’t one to be messed with individually, but mostly together. YESSS OMG THEY AREEEE! ❤ And they will be unstoppable once they realize how powerful of a team they make 😏❤

DARLING YOU’VE MADE MY WHOLE DAY WITH THIS! 😍🥰 I am going to re-read this a hundred times more, you’re so awesome, ilysm! ❤❤ THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU!❤❤❤

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ghostemanemusicvideos · 1 year

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i had a fleeting urge to go clean and ended up eating tuna salad instead. i wish i could go make money. i didnt donate plasma bc i dont have a phone and i dont wanna sit there and stare at the wall. but sitting there and staring at the wall would help my financial situation. i didnt uber when my phone worked. i say its bc i dont actually have insurance right now (i missed my payment but my card says its valid til nov) but ive been driving all over hell anyway. i blew off that job from the dude bc he didnt email me back. i suppose i could fill out the application and say i got my computer fixed. idk if it would go well. maybe worth a shot? idk. i need a job. i need to make money to pay for the insurance and the car payments and the phone bill and rent first and foremost. i need to save 10% of all of that like my old therapist said. ive wasted so much time. i have debt from three credit lines i need to repay. my student loans from uic want repayment now. i need to call my old life insurance thing and get the check now that im old enough. all of this will help but oof. the way its going to take such baby steps and i have no time. rn i cant worry too much bc i have my interview tmw. plasma center is closed. i dont have a phone. i can just do this and clean and smoke and make ramen and wait for my baby to come home and eat it w me. maybe some self care shit so im all prim and proper for tmw. i have a peach lace maxi dress picked out w a big fluffy light grey cardigan and my black and white docs. ill wear the black rose my bf got me on my neck. i dont know how ill do my makeup. i have my resume printed out. also im worried sick about seeing the ranch texts tmw. ill deal w it as it comes

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gaycey-sketchit · 2 years

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(Gary anon) Well, incoming news says that semifinals will be 6v6, it's looking like Diantha will gone in one episode since Ash vs Cynthia is the very next one. On the other side, looks like folks will finally get that full battle with Cynthia. Which makes more worried for the Leon fight; not even just it being potentially overshadowed. (And I more or less think any serious battle with Gary is dead with this news) It's astounding how much a year caused most to change their tune about Journeys.

(Part 2) BW was mainly divisive for feeling like a soft reboot{if I had a dollar for every time Trip's Snivy and Cameron is mentioned}, JN is an amalgamation of continuity from every previous series while trying to juggle in Galar to varying results. (It's hitting everyone in different ways, for better AND for worse) The catching goal did him more harm than good with how they executed it; some expect him to catch Mew but it being nothing special cause of such.

(Part 3) The weird treatment of the Galar starters; not his fault. And any significant interactions he's had with other characters got heavily dwarfed by Ash's, or is mostly borrowed from him, which kinda limited Goh from having anything that's unique to him. (Journeys seems like it was a duo protagonist anime first and foremost, but geez, it felt like they try their hardest to keep Chloe out of stuff. We still never got how she and Goh met; and they're childhood friends?

(Part 4) And oof, I never saw a fandom that hate an Eevee more than Lana's. I understand being burnt out on them being used by the Pokegirls, but some are feeling it's the worst thing that happened to Chloe's character. *I don't think next week is going to really change the reception of her. Even the hypothetical Gary meeting wouldn't completely ease things) The recap was confirmed an episode; dub is definitely skipping it. It was mainly quizzes.

(Part 5) *Young Cerise next week though, I think the theme is evolutionary stones with him and Chloe. "1 2 3" got album art and is releasing in October. Iris' and Goh's Japanese VAs unfortunately got Covid. And the infamous Articuno episode for the dub is in 2 weeks.

(Part 6) (So, JN121 is apparently an Ash PWC recap; which means we're definitely getting a Goh/Project Mew one. Which may or may not happen right after the semifinals. With that in mind, that leaves about roughly 8 unknown episodes left. If Ash vs Cynthia is a 2-parter that's 1. The Mew search could be 2-3 episodes, same for Ash vs Leon. And 1 more for JN's conclusion. Assuming Journeys ends on Nov. 4, there isn't room for anything else)

Ah. That's something.

Yeah, the way people’s stances changed over the course of a year (though personally, I’ve mostly just continued to think it’s cute and fun).

Yeah--BW was also divisive because of the flanderization of Ash, the TRio being more serious, and because racists didn’t like Iris, I remember from being online a bit back in those days.

Journeys had a really ambitious premise, and that’s had its pros and cons. (And I’m afraid the slow start did it some harm in the long run, as enjoyable as the episodic vibe was.)

It’s unfortunate. Goh has a really enjoyable personality and watching him grow as a person has been nice, but because of some issues with the writing the fandom treats him as the scapegoat for everything wrong with Journeys.

Yeah, the Chloe situation is really unfortunate. And at this point, odds are there’s basically nothing that could salvage it. (People do sort of overreact to her Eevee, honestly. Personally I think it’s a nice parallel, though I do wish Yamper hadn’t been shafted so much.)

Young Cerise! That seems like it’ll be a cute one.

Ooh, I saw the album art on Twitter! Very nice. I wonder if that means they’ll put it on Spotify.

Oh, I heard about that... wishing them a smooth and speedy recovery, covid sucks.

That’ll be something. I wonder if the fandom’s going to get in a tizzy over it again.

Oh wow, I know I keep saying this but there’s so few episodes left. I can’t believe how close to the end we are.

#sorry this took me forever to respond to!! Had a rough couple weeks and was completely exhausted for a while #Andrew answers #Gary anon

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

Go the Distance

Prompt: Hello, I absolutely adore your work 🥺😍🥺 your Sanders Sides angst is just so goooood!!! If you're up to it, I'd love to request a fic <3 Virgil has noticed [side(s?) of your choice; they're all good choices, I can't decide ;-;] has been distant and avoiding him and he just can't figure out what he did wrong but it's actually because [side] loves him and are trying to take some time to 'get rid of/push down their feelings' The angster the better but don't push yourself ^ Feel free to add or change whatever Have a great day and no worries if you don't do this 💜💜💜~@im-an-anxious-wreck 💜🖤

Thanks for the prompt babe you’re the best

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-doubt, some lite™ angst

Pairings: prinxiety, background platonic dlampr because found family dynamics motherfuckers

Word Count: 4191

Virgil and Roman's relationship hasn't always been, well, great. But it's been getting better!

Or, at least, it was.

Listen, Virgil knows he and Roman haven’t exactly had the most…painless history. Virgil’s introduction to the series was Thomas telling Roman his dream was to get rid of him and, well, Roman was first and foremost loyal to Thomas. Then the whole…insult thing, ducking out, and the absolute mess of the callback wedding debacle, it’s not exactly been smooth sailing.

But—okay, and maybe they’d been a little harsher about things than absolutely necessary, and maybe Roman got hit with the consequences of their fights more than Virgil, and maybe Virgil hadn’t exactly been…overwhelmingly accepting of all of Princey’s little ticks.

But they’d still been talking!

After the wedding, no one was on good terms with anyone save Patton and Janus—and wasn’t that the shock of a lifetime—and Remus and Virgil. Because they made the smart choice and decided ‘nope, fuck that, I’m out.’

It was a good choice. You have any idea how high their scores are in GTFO now? The first rundown’s a fucking cakewalk.

Anyway.

They’d been talking! Virgil still doesn’t know exactly what happened right after—he saw the video, of course he saw the video, but Roman sunk right to his room and there’s a good twelve hours between that and the next time Virgil saw him—but Roman had come out and approached him!

Probably because he was still hurt by the end of the video—which oof, Virgil does not blame him for, that was harsh—and his only options were Logan, Virgil, and Remus and Logan, um, didn’t want to see anyone for a while and Remus is Remus.

Side note: those two have been getting on better. Something about their twin Creativity thing meant Remus knew that Roman was hurting bad before even Thomas did.

But Roman did seek him out, asking him quietly if he had a moment, just a moment, to sit together. Virgil had shrugged and passed it off as nothing only for Princey to literally sit on the floor and not make a fucking noise. He’d frowned and poked his shoulder, asking if he was alright.

“Perfectly fine, Dark and Stormy,” Roman had said lightly, “and I’ll leave you in a moment.”

“But you’re…” Virgil had waved to his silent form. “…not acting like you normally do.”

Roman had laughed. “And here I thought I’d never hear you say you missed me being loud.”

“Now let’s not jump to conclusions.”

Sure enough, a few more seconds had passed and Roman had gotten up, quietly bid Virgil good day, thanked him, and left.

You bet your ass Virgil sunk straight into Patton’s room to ask hey what the fuck did you do to Roman.

Patton had sighed and said that they’re not sure what to do now—‘they’ being Janus and Patton. Virgil, still recovering from the whiplash of those two being close had shaken his head and told them to get it the fuck together.

If he sunk into Remus’s room to ask how to take care of Roman, that’s his business. It’s also his business if he tackled Princey in a hug two minutes later.

So. Talking.

Roman, for all he talks, doesn’t really say much. The few things he does say are easily passed off as jokes, off-handed comments that no one really pays much attention to.

Not that anyone pays nearly enough attention to Roman, come on, guys, he makes it easy.

But Roman talked to Virgil. He’d come in and sit and Virgil would sit next to him, trying to make sure his arm didn’t burst into flames from where it was pressed against Princey—the dude’s a fucking space heater, okay?—just to listen. Some of the time it was Disney rants—okay, most of the time it was Disney rants—but some of the time…

“Virgil?”

“Yeah?”

Roman looked down at his costume. Today was repair day, unofficially called when Virgil’s hoodie ripped during the night and Roman’s sword cut through his sleeve. Virgil looked up from his own mass of fabric, needle stuck in carefully so he wouldn’t prick himself. He frowned at the look on Roman’s face.

“What’s up, Princey?”

“Do you think my logo looks bad?”

Virgil blinked in shock. Roman didn’t look up and see the surprise on his face, instead running his thumb slowly over the patch on the costume.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Princey?”

“It’s so complicated,” Roman said, still looking down, “Logan and Patton have really simple ones. You have a pretty simple one.”

“Janus doesn’t. Remus doesn’t.”

“Yeah, but they’re…”

Virgil frowned deeper, putting his hoodie on the ground and shifting closer to Roman. The prince didn’t even look up, still clutching his logo in his hands.

“They’re what, Roman?”

Roman swallowed. “…allowed.”

A growl sounded from Virgil’s throat before he knew what was happening.

“And you’re not?”

“Hmm?”

“And you’re not allowed, Roman?” Virgil gripped his shoulder. “Look at me, Princey.”

Roman looked up. Virgil swallowed another growl at the despondent look on the prince’s face. Instead, he gripped Roman’s shoulder tighter.

“No one,” he said firmly, “is allowed to tell you your logo is bad. You hear me?”

Roman blinked.

“I mean it, Roman,” he said, softening his voice a little, “it’s you. It’s yours, no one’s allowed to tell you it’s wrong.”

“So that’s…okay?”

“Yeah, Princey, it’s okay.”

“Oh.” Roman looked back down at his costume. “Okay. Thank you, Virgil.”

“Anytime.”

Virgil would come to be astounded at how much he means that.

Because, really, now that Roman’s talking? Virgil’s fucking shocked that they didn’t realize how much Roman actually has to offer.

First off, Princey’s smart as hell. Sure, L’s the resident braincell but you can be big of brain and dumb of ass at the same time.

If Logan tries to tell you he’s not a dumbass sometimes he is wrong.

Roman can puzzle solve with the best of them. Do you have any idea how much brainpower it takes to write a story? A script? Understand how all those moving parts fit together and make sense as a whole? Virgil sure as hell didn’t. He spent one afternoon trying to help Roman only for it to end up as Roman explaining what he was doing and Virgil frantically trying to keep up. Don’t even get him started on how impressive the Imagination stuff is.

“It’s my job, Fall Out Brood,” Roman laughs every single time Virgil expresses how fucking cool this is, “have to be good at something.”

And Roman is. He’s good.

Second: Patton may be the heart, Logan may be the brains, but no one is as good at reassuring him as Roman. Probably has something to do with the Creativity gig. Roman had asked, politely, if Virgil would be comfortable telling him what to do when he gets really anxious, whether to leave him alone, get him somewhere safe, get him things, what have you. Virgil had told him, bemused, only to be shuttled into somewhere that screamed safewarmcomfortableeverythingisokay the next time he had a panic attack. Roman, with the lack of shame truly becoming of a theatre kid, had no problems cheering him up by loudly declaring he would fight whatever shadowy figures plagued his little nightmare, swatting at the air with his sword until Virgil’s sobs had turned into giggles. He never made Virgil talk about anything if he didn’t want to, didn’t try to sit and work through things if they weren’t ready, and never touched him unless he’d gotten the okay. The first time Virgil told him he’d be fine with receiving hugs in the aftermath was the warmest he’d felt in years.

Princey gives really good hugs.

Third: Roman’s fucking funny.

Remember the whole ‘smart as hell’ thing? Know how Logan’s funny as fuck too when he lets himself be?

Virgil’s lost count of how many times he’s had to gasp out for Roman to shut the fuck up because his sides hurt too much from laughing. He ends up sprawled across the fucking floor or the couch or Princey’s bed, dying very happily but painfully because Roman won’t stop making him laugh.

Most of the time it’s due to something they’re watching and Roman’ll notice some detail that he picks apart until they’re both howling or Virgil will make one sarcastic comment that turns into a full fucking bit for like…ten minutes. Roman will just keep riffing off of the smallest thing until he’s laughing too hard to keep going—not very likely—or Virgil will flail out desperately and smack him—much more likely.

Princey said he makes fun of the things he loves.

…maybe that’s why he doesn’t make fun of Virgil anymore.

Virgil curls tighter around the pillow, clutching it to his chest. As he rubs his cheek against it, he grimaces. It’s too rough. It’s not warm enough. It doesn’t smell right.

They’d been talking. It had been good.

But that was before.

Before Roman had cautiously approached Logan with an apology, the offering of a new planner for him, the promise to listen to him, hear him out, give him space to speak. Logan had accepted.

Before Roman had opened the border between his and Remus’s side of the Imagination, sending a little puppy scuttling over to his brother’s castle with a note, a dagger, and a vial of acid. It returned as a kitten with a beautifully poisonous rose.

Before Roman had finally, finally, after days of trying, opened the door when Patton knocked, letting him come inside so they could talk, about everything that happened since…well, ever. They hadn’t stopped hugging long enough to walk down the stairs.

Before Roman had let Janus, Janus, take care of him.

And now…

Now Roman didn’t want to be in the same room as him.

It feels as if they’re walking on eggshells around each other again, Virgil appearing in a room only for Roman to completely disappear, getting up and leaving a conversation entirely just to avoid him, Virgil knocking on Roman’s door only for Roman to shout that he’s busy, not to come inside, Virgil, trying, trying to figure out where Roman’s gone, what’s happened, only to receive the cold shoulder.

A problem none of the other Sides seemed to be having.

He clutches the pillow to his chest.

Did he—did he do something wrong?

Does Roman—does Roman not like him anymore?

Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed so hard about talking to the others. Roman needed space, needed time, he didn’t need someone else breathing down his neck. He should’ve let Roman set the pace, listened more, been kinder to him when he needed reassurance.

Maybe he shouldn’t have made Roman think it was his fault that the others were taking so long, or suggested that if he wanted things to get better he should try talking first. Roman had been taught by everyone else that things were his fault already, Virgil didn’t need to jump on that train too.

Maybe he should’ve been kinder to Roman, less focused on making the others understand that they hurt Roman. Everyone in the Mindscape knew that Roman was hurt, Virgil should’ve helped fix that, taken care of Roman, not pushed the blame onto everyone else.

Maybe Roman didn’t like what he had to say about Disney films. They were Roman’s comfort watches, the last thing he needed was for someone to cruelly rip away his enjoyment of one of the few things he could enjoy.

Maybe Roman didn’t like Virgil’s way of taking care of him. Virgil never pushed, never did Roman the courtesy of asking, like Roman did with him, just assumed he knew best how to comfort someone and left it there. Roman might’ve needed more hugs, more time, less distraction, just something other than what Virgil gave him.

Maybe Roman didn’t like how much Virgil ended up hoarding him to himself. Not letting him go to the others for comfort, just to work things out. Maybe he thought Virgil was just keeping him upset so he could hang out with him more.

Or maybe…

Virgil muffles his sob in the pillow.

Maybe Roman needed or wanted him anyway.

Maybe Roman was just waiting until he could get the comfort he actually wanted. Maybe he waited until the others were easier to talk to so he could go back to what he really needed. Maybe Virgil was just a placeholder until Roman could get hugs from Patton and Remus, talk with Logan and Janus, not him. Never him.

Maybe that’s…okay.

It’s not, it won’t be fucking okay for a long time, but one day, it will be okay.

Virgil curses and throttles the pillow in his arms, wishing for it to be real, to be warm, to be a chest of white and gold and a splash of red, for it to wraps its arms around him and say it’s okay, shadow-ling, I’m here, I won’t leave you, shh.

But it’s just a pillow.

Has his room always been this cold?

Have Disney movies always looked this flat?

Has music always sounded this gray?

Has Virgil always been this alone?

He can hear them in the living room below him. He can hear Roman and Logan throwing quips back and forth, can hear Remus tackling his brother into the wall, and Roman protesting. He can hear Janus scolding Remus and checking to make sure Roman’s not injured, can hear Roman wave him off gently and go right back to verbally sparring with Logan. He can hear Patton laughing too hard, falling off the couch and begging the two of them to let up, let him breathe, can hear Roman coo and call him sweet, adorable, in that soft voice he only uses when he’s talking to someone he cares about.

Can’t hear any of them worrying about where he is.

Maybe it’s better this way.

He got greedy, took too much of what was never his to take, what wasn’t given to him freely. He latched onto the first thing he thought was for him and didn’t stop to think that it wasn’t. He may think he’s been included in the famILY but he knows he’s still an outsider.

He may be Virgil now but deep down he’ll always be Anxiety.

So here he will stay, in the cold of his room, in the dark of his face smushed into a pillow that will never be real. He will stay and he will be happy.

But not today.

He sniffles and smears his nose on the sleeve of his hoodie, not bothering to pull away from the pillow long enough to wipe tears properly. His limbs start to protest as he hugs it tighter, tighter, tighter, but it’s no use. He can feel his own arms through the pillow. There isn’t enough—there’s too much give in the pillow. It’s just a fucking pillow but it’s not enough.

Another laugh from downstairs and Virgil growls, burying his head in the pillow until he can’t hear himself think.

Can’t hear anything but his own muffled sobs ringing in his ears.

Can’t hear anything other than the thought swirling around and around his head that he’ll never be enough, that he’ll never be wanted, that he’ll never be anything other than Anxiety.

Can’t hear the soft knock at the door.

“Virgil?”

The voices in his head must be getting pretty powerful because he’s certain he can hear Roman calling for him. He buries deeper in the pillow.

“Virgil? Virgil, can you hear me?”

Yes, he thinks, yes, I can hear you, which means I’m not crying hard enough.

“Can I come in, shadow-ling?”

Yes, he thinks, come in and make me forget that you don’t need me anymore.

He must really be losing it because he thinks he can hear the door open and close again with a soft click, followed by a sharp intake of breath and a soft coo.

“Oh, shadow-ling,” the imaginary Roman murmurs, “come here, little Stormcloud.”

Oh, his imagination is being cruel to him right now because the sensation of warm arms around his waist and shoulders fucking burns. He buries his face in the pillow until he can’t tell which way is up anymore, not sure how he’s tricked himself into imagining Roman’s cradling him but too unwilling to let the illusion go.

“That’s right, Stormcloud, relax for me, I’ve got you, I’m right here, shh, shh, you’re alright,” the imaginary Roman keeps whispering in that cruelly soft voice, “you’re doing great, shadow-ling.”

Virgil wants him to be real. So bad he aches from it. But he knows he’s not.

What happens next breaks his fucking heart.

The imaginary Roman kisses him.

It’s chaste, a barely-there brush of his lips against his forehead but it tears a whine out of Virgil’s throat before he can stop it. The imaginary Roman hushes him gently, pressing another kiss to the part of his cheek not buried in the pillow and it taunts him with how real it feels. The slightly chapped lips, the warm rush of air as Roman breathes, the light brush of his nose as he pulls away.

It’s too much.

It’s too much and he wants it to be real so badly but he knows the instant he pulls away it will vanish and that might just break him.

Then he realizes the imaginary Roman is talking to him.

“Breathe, Stormcloud, you’ve got to breathe,” he coaxes, “I know it’s tempting to stay buried in a pillow all day, but you can’t breathe properly like that, sweetheart.”

No, no, don’t call me sweetheart, I’ll break.

“Shadow-ling, Stormcloud, my darling,” the imaginary Roman says instead, “come on…”

Well, now he’s disappointing imaginary Roman too. Figures. He can’t do anything right.

“Of course you can,” the imaginary Roman pleads, “just breathe for me, shadow-ling, I’m right here, I’ve got you, you can keep your eyes closed if you need to, just breathe.”

Another whine. Another kiss pressed against his head. The whine grows louder.

“Shh, shh, my darling,” imaginary Roman murmurs, “breathe, come on, just—trust me, okay? Can I ask that of you, Stormcloud?”

And goddamnit, this is why Virgil can’t do anything.

Virgil trusts him.

So he prepares himself for heartbreak and lifts his head.

“Thank you, shadow-ling,” imaginary Roman—wait, he’s still here?—murmurs, rubbing his back, “there you go, now just breathe—oh! Oh, come here, lean on me, I’ve got you.”

Having listed to the side horribly, Virgil lands against a solidwarmsafereal chest and—and—

“R-Roman?”

“Yes, my darling,” not imaginary Roman says, still kissing Virgil’s forehead, “I’m here, I’m here.”

White-hot rage burns Virgil’s tears.

He lets out a yell and shoves, not caring that it throws them both horribly off-balance, threatening to send him tumbling to the floor. He hears Roman cry out, trying to keep ahold of him, but he scrabbles and gets his hands around the bedpost and pulls.

“Virgil—Virgil stop, you’re going to hurt yourself—“

“Why do you care?” The rage coats his tongue. “You fucking left, you—you—you fucking didn’t care about me anymore, you decided you didn’t want me anymore and you fucking left so don’t try and care now!”

“Virgil—sweetheart, I—“

“Don’t fucking call me that!” He keeps his eyes squeezed tight. “You didn’t give a fuck about me when you left, when you got your fucking family back, you think—you think you can just waltz back in like you didn’t abandon me?”

“Virgil—“

“Because you did, Roman!” Virgil blindly shoves at where the prince was before, knocking him into the wall. “You fucking left me as soon as you got the others back like I—like I never did anything for you and now you—now you can’t even look at me.”

“I’m looking at you now.”

Virgil laughs.

He throws his head back and howls until his chest and throat ache.

“You didn’t give a shit when the others started talking to you. You just fucking up and abandoned me like you never cared about me in the first place. You replaced me with them or—or abandoned me as your placeholder and I’m fucking hurt, Roman.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you do it?”

Silence.

Virgil’s heart stops.

No.

No, no, no, no—

He fucked up.

He fucked up so bad.

Roman left.

Roman’s not here anymore.

Roman left again, he made Roman leave, he—he fucked up so bad, he shouldn’t have yelled, he’s fucked up, he hurt Roman, no, no, no, no—

On instinct, his hands hook into claws.

Only to be caught by warmsolidreal hands and brought to something soft.

“Don’t,” comes Roman’s softsaferealhurt voice, murmuring in his ear as he holds him still, “don’t scratch, sweetheart.”

“Don’t—“

“I know, I know,” Roman says immediately, “you said not to call you that. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry.”

…what?

“I didn’t realize I was hurting you,” comes the voice again, “that’s no excuse, I know, but please, Virgil, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to abandon you.”

Virgil swallows. “What the fuck do you call it then?”

“I didn’t want to push my luck.”

What?

“You were being so good to me, Virgil,” Roman murmurs, oblivious to the internal struggle Virgil’s currently facing, “so kind, so supportive, that I…I realized I wanted to ask more from you. Things I had no business asking. And the longer you kept on being you, the harder it was to resist the urge to push and risk shattering everything you’d let me build with you.”

“What—“ Virgil swallows— “what the fuck did you want?”

Roman stills in front of him. With his eyes still shut, he can’t tell what’s going on, but when Roman speaks next his voice is hoarse.

“Before I ask,” comes the whisper, “I want you to know that you have every right to say no. You can push me away, shove me out of your room, stay angry at me for as long as you want. I’ve hurt you, badly, and I have no right to ask this of you. I want you to know that. That I’m okay with you asserting that right.”

Fuck, Princey.

“…what do you want?”

A pause. Then a soft rush of air, right on his face.

“May I kiss you, Stormcloud?”

Oh.

Oh, no.

“R-Roman?”

“That’s it,” Roman murmurs and oh, his mouth is right next to Virgil’s, “that’s what I want, shadow-ling.”

He shifts a little until Virgil can feel Roman’s warmth.

“That and everything that goes with it.”

“Why—why did you leave? I-if that’s what you wanted?”

“Because that would mean to push,” Roman says immediately, “and the last thing I wanted was to push you away. I thought if I could…rein it in, control it, I could…I wouldn’t hurt you.”

A soft chuckle.

“Look how well that turned out.”

“But the others—“

“I needed Remus to tell me what was going on,” Roman says wryly, “Janus to point out that I was okay in wanting something, Patton to help me figure it out, and Logan to kick my ass into doing it.”

“To…to ask me?”

“Yes, Stormcloud,” comes the whisper, “to ask you.”

“And if I say yes?”

He can feel Roman’s lips turn up.

“…then I’ll kiss you, Stormcloud.”

“Are you really here?”

The question bursts out of him before he can stop it, immediately biting his lip in reprimand for letting it.

“Open your eyes, Virgil,” Roman says softly, “look at me.”

He shakes his head, not wanting it to be imaginary. Not now, not after this. Roman squeezes his hands.

“Look at me, Stormcloud,” he whispers, “look at me.”

Fuck it.

Roman smiles at him, real and warm and soft and here. He squeezes Virgil’s hands again and takes the smallest step closer.

“I’m here,” he says, wrapping Virgil’s arms around his neck, “I’m right here, shadow-ling.”

He’s here.

This won’t fix everything. But it’s one hell of a start.

“Ask me again.”

“May I kiss you, Stormcloud?”

Virgil shakes his head. “Not like that. Ask me properly.”

Confusion dances on Roman’s face before realization hits. His smile widens and he brings a hand to Virgil’s head. Virgil clutches Roman tight as he gets dipped into the prince’s arms. Roman leans forward until his mouth almost catches Virgil’s.

“May I kiss you, sweetheart?”

“Yes.”

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#sanders sides #dragonbabbles #fic #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic remus #sympathetic deceit #romantic prinxiety #prinxiety

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queen-haq · 2 years

Note

First and foremost: you are an exceptional writer who has such a masterful way of beautifully and perfectly bringing a wonderful, captivating story to life. It’s easily become one of my favorite stories ever — one I wish to never end because I simply can’t get enough of it. I’ve been enjoying every single word you write, and always find myself craving for more by the end of each chapter. And it’s funny because I had mixed feelings when beginning the AWR journey since I’m not particularly a fan of the amnesia trope. But, damn, your special way of storytelling and the life you breathe into your Billy and Reader immediately changed my mind; you got me hooked and never wanting to let go. Anyway, I didn’t mean to rant! I just really wanted to finally be able to share my appreciation and love for this story and for you as a writer since usually my anxiety gets in the way of reaching out to let you know this and give you the support you rightfully deserve. Keep up the amazing work; I can’t wait to see what else you have in stored for us in the coming chapters of this extraordinary story ♥️

Also, something I’m hoping to see in the fic (obviously aside from groveling Billy because that’s going to be so sweet to see after what the Reader unfortunately has been through lol) is more protective and concerned / worried Billy when it comes to Reader because I’m honestly such a sucker for that. Those moments you’ve already included of this were some of my favorites, especially with the perfect balance of angst and sweetness they’ve had. Like in your latest chapter when Billy was all desperate and panicked when Reader was having a panic attack? OOF 🥺. I just really love all the emotion we get to see. So, personally, I think getting more of this would be great! :)

Also, in general, I’m hoping we continue to get more chapters with Billy’s POV because i always find them so interesting. Even more so since I think they’re important when it comes to showing us readers that this whole thing hasn’t been easy on Billy either. While he has severely hurt Reader and my heart breaks for her, it’s still important for us to remember that Billy didn’t ask for any of this either; he was a victim of a terrible accident and then again to Dumont. I’m not excusing him — I just mean that I find his POV fascinating and serves as a good reminder to us (especially the few who are angry with him and don’t want him and Reader as endgame at this point) that he’s so torn and confused and desperate and mainly hurting, too. Ahh, anyway, I digress (and strongly consider just clicking the anonymous button to save myself some embarrassment- lmfao).

I was at dinner when I saw this lovely message and my heart was so full with the kind words you shared. Thank you so so much, especially knowing you were hesitant to reach out. I truly appreciate it 🙏

Thank you for taking a chance on AWR even though you weren't fond of the amnesia trope. To be honest, the s2 amnesia storyline was the only way I could see Billy and Reader breaking up after how far they'd come in AWS. They were just too strong a couple to let anything get in the way because they were fully committed to each other.

And you're right, Billy didn't ask for any of this either. But he did some shitty things and he's reaping the consequences of those actions. It's the whole complicated mess that makes me so excited to write about them, because there really aren't any easy solutions. She can't forgive and forget whereas he just doesn't want to face it at all.

We will definitely see more of his POV because, like you said, it's important to show where his head is at. And, rest assured, he is in a world of pain. In his mind he's still the same guy who was madly in love with his wife and living his best life except he woke up one day and discovered that everything is now gone. He's desperately trying to cling to Reader but he sees her slipping away from him and there's nothing he can do to stop it. So yeah, he's suffering.

Thank you again and I really hope you enjoy the rest of the story 😊 💜 💕

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1800sunaarinn · 4 years

Text

ADULT TRIO + KNIFE PLAY

anon asks:

tw. knife play.

lordie!! knife play is one of my fav kinks to read about, it makes me go whoosh in the tummy. oof, these headcanons are my view of them, please don’t take them seriously 💀 also, word of warning, i’m not that good at writing and describing knife play! it’s a fav to read but a pain to write hehe. i definitely got more confident towards the end, 🙂.

♰ Chrollo Luclifer

i think chrollo would definitely be the most tamest when it comes to knife play, only because he doesn’t want to mark up your pretty skin with thin scars

he wouldn’t use it as a form of punishment because he tends to go all out with his punishments, and there’s no telling if he would be to control himself when in that mindset

but, i think if you do ask him to go a bit harder with the knife, he would. he respects your wishes and places your want above anything else, so there’s that.

he’ll be sweet about it, but with an underlying hint of sadism, because this is chrollo we’re talking about. he steals and kills to get what he want!!

but,,, i do think he might go against his rule of not using it as a form of punishment when you’ve really made him angry.

he won’t slash and dice at you, lololol. but he would press the knife deeper against your skin, idk tbh!!

#///:!!! +

“So pretty, baby.” Chrollo’s gray eyes had their usual warmth, watching with a small cruel twinged smile as your body reacted to the fresh, long, thin line of cut skin. The warm blood pressed against the open wound and fell down like a curtain, quickly reaching your left breast and coating it the skin.

The pain didn’t register, only tendrils of pleasure warping around your body, causing a short shudder. Warmth filled your body, and the need to be cut at again had you begging for more. “Kur, more, I need more!”

“As you wish,” And, thus started a chain of thin cuts along the top of your breasts. Each cut causing a different pleasurable sound to escape you, and each sound turning Chrollo on even more than before.

Your hands were gripping the sheets, your eyes closed shut to conceal the watering, and your jaw slacken. It were simple cuts you were receiving, small thin cuts, yet it was enough to dampen your panties. The ache between your legs became more dominant, and you tried to close your legs only to remember who were between them.

Chrollo noticed the action, grinning with sudden mischief. He began to softly drag the knife against your skin, between your breasts, down your stomach and only inches above your lacy, red silky panties. Your hips jerked upwards softly, in a silent ask to get a move on.

“Kur, come on!”

“Are you going to ask nicely?”

“Please,”

He only hummed, one hand gripping your thigh and spreading them. You only watch in anticipation as the knife is brought closer to your soft flesh, mouth watering at the thought of feeling the pinch of pain and pleasure on your sensitive thighs.

You’re not left disappointed, as the knife softly traces against your skin. The cool metal sending shivers through you, the blade softly rubbing against your skin. The slightest bit of pressure was added, breaking the skin and sending blood spilling down.

You reacted with a soft moan, eyes trained on the knife and blood. The knife moved with the same amount of pressure along your thigh, unlike last time, he doesn’t stop with a single thin cut, he continued on with the knife. Only lifting it a tiny bit before reconnecting it.

Your head had fell back then, soft whimpers leaving your throat at the continued pain in your thigh.

“Hm, pretty.” Chrollo hummed, you look up then, noticing the mirth and excitement in his eyes. “You are mine, forever, now. You know that right?”

You only nod in agreement, not registering the kanji characters that spelled out Kuroro Lucilfer. “You are mine too, right?”

The knife cuts through the skin, presenting your wet and dripping cunt to him. He pressed the flat side of the knife against your cunt lips, trailing down snd collecting your wetness on the blade. “Right,” he answered back, looking into your eyes as he placed the wet knife in his mouth, licking your arousal from it with a hum.

He chunked the knife away then, it landed perfectly in the wall, but you ignored it in favor of diving your hands into his black hair. Sharply moaning when his eagerly leaned forward and attacked your aching cunt.

It was then you actually took note of his name against your thigh.

🃏 Hisoka Morow

honestly, this clown will definitely be the most sadistic one of the three. now, now, here me out! not only does he like that you let him fight you, sex you, but you also let him mark you up?! with a knife, no less?!?!

bloodlust bc he wants to kill? we don’t know her!! all we know is that listing to see your blood running down the valley of your breasts, and ultimately him licking it up.

but,, despite his obvious eagerness to do this act with you. he would be a little worried about your blood loss, bc bitch is not letting up on the deep ass cuts, and it’s not like you’re stopping him.

you’re much as a sadistic as him, so he probably have cuts everywhere as well. but with texture surprise, you both have most of those cuts concealed. this will definitely turn into some type of power olay on who can get the most cuts and the deepest.

hisoka finds pleasure in just about anything, so it isn’t surprise when he decides to fuck you while also cutting you.

like chrollo, his name will be somewhere on your body. and your name on his body, don’t forget that!!

#///:!!! +

You pant lightly, thighs tightening just a bit around Hisoka’s thighs as the knife along your collarbone drags down in a slow and tantalizing pace. It was a deep cut that sent a small abundance of blood spilling down, running along your chest and breasts, and eventually dripping onto Hisoka’s lap. The smirk plastered on Hisoka’s lips was enough for you know to that he was only getting started, but so were you.

“My turn,” You said, a smirk of your own appearing. The bedazzled knife in your hand was cold, the blade glinting beautifully in the light. You twirl the knife a few times before teasingly dragging it against his cheek and jaw, grinning when his smirk slip.

The knife drags pass his throat, and in between his collarbones. Then, you add press and drag the knife down. Blood immediately stains his skin and chases after the knife, collecting and doubling in size.

Hisoka overexaggerates his whimpers, barely concealing his excitement.

You barely had enough time to pull your knife away before gripping your hair, pulling back and exposing your naked upper half. His own knife teasingly smoothing across your expanse of skin, grinning with bloodlust as he makes small cuts along your stomach, watching in sick satisfaction when your hips jerks.

“Ah!” You moan, having nearly forgot that his cock was buried deep within you. The sudden movement pressed his deeper, and sent waves of pleasures through your body, your cuts tingling with the sensation.

With the knife dragging against your waist and hip teasingly, back and forth, not even close to cutting the skin but enough to keep you on edge. Hisoka leaned forward and latched his mouth on your skin, tongue lapping at the blood.

Your moans reverberating around the room as your hips move at a slow pace, as his warm tongue licked along your skin, as the cool knife teasingly drags along your skin.

“M-more, Hisoka!” You urge, hands settling on his shoulders. With a single push, he fell back against the back, the knives forgotten on the floor.

Both hands on his chest, and his hands on your hips, you began to move your hips quicker, chasing an orgasm. Both of your moans created a symphony.

Your own blood dripped onto Hisoka, mixing together with his, and outlining the characters that spelled out your name.

📍Illumi Zoldyck

first and foremost,, illumi would definitely be more than happier to extract his control over you. which is mostly way he’ll be the one to have the most marks, bc, one you a bad bitch and two he not finna extract any type of control over you

you built different. nobody finna manipulate or control you, and that’s just facts. and besides, illumi is fucking sub and if anybody tells me otherwise, you’re wrong❤️. idk idk idk, this man is a sub and i’m not taking constructive criticism.

he might look bad and tough, but that’s all out the window the second he under you!! i’m telling you, this man will be so pliant in your arms it’s crazy. ofc once he actually trusts you enough to be in this situation, duh.

he will definitely have that dumb ass look in his eyes ⚫️.⚫️, and you’re like 👁^➖ “i gotchu babe.” type shit. this don’t make any sense.

idk idk idk i think when he’s comfortable enough, he will definitely start moaning and whimpering when you cut him. but, like, knife play almost never leads to sex. illumi just likes to being cut at by you—!!

he wants you to cut him a bit too deep, but you’re like not too deep because you have no idea what type of relaxes might kick in if you go too deep. one wrong move and you dead, dead as a cockroach 🤪.

#///:!!! +

You were sitting on Illumi’s lap, perfectly clothed, a small twinge of cruelty in your eyes as you twirl the knife in your fingers. Illumi was only half dressed, his pants on, his shirt missing, and his long hair spilling over his shoulders and onto the bed.

“You’re mine, yes?” You ask, twirling the knife even faster before gripping it with a small smack. You stared into his black eyes, not bothered that they were as emotionless as always.

“I am to be your husband.” He answered, a bit robotically. You were working on that, though, safely and healthy undoing years and years of conditioning seemed a bit impossible. Especially for someone like Illumi who held his family’s traditional above anything else.

“Mhm,” You hummed, placing the knife against his neck and smirking when his breath hitched slightly. You trailed the knife down his shoulder blade, along his arm and dragging the smallest hint of blood. Then with a quickness that rival his own, your hand was tangled in his hair, wrapped around your hand and you tugged harshly. The knife back his throat. “You are mine, yes?”

You briefly imagined if this was hard for him to admit, he was use to being able to have his control on others, but you proved to be different, you brought out a different side of him. Had this been anyone else, he would’ve killed them. But you were you, his fiancée, the person he trusted with his life. The only person he will ever allowed this to happen. “I am yours.”

“Good boy,” You praise, kissing his cheeks before letting go of his hair. There was the faintest hint of blush on his cheeks. The knife dragged downwards, skimming over his collarbones and down his chest, smoothed over the rigs in his stomach before back up again. Only this time, with added pressure that caused blood to immediately spill over.

He didn’t show any indication that he was in pain, or pleasure for that matter. You took that as challenge, as you always do. Right underneath his left pectoral, you began to carve your name into his skin. Deep enough to scar over and show, and you relished in the sharp intake of breath from Illumi.

“Is that your name?” He asked, and you looked up to meet his eyes, startling at the sudden fire burning in them. He was looking at you as if you were meal ready to be eaten, the sudden emotion cussing you to pause slightly.

“And, if it is?” You raised a brow, collecting yourself easily and finishing off the last character of your name.

“Then, it is only fair that I carve my name into your skin as well.” Illumi stated, and quickly, the knife was snatched for you hands and your back was meeting the soft bed. You had no time to collect yourself, your pants being tugged off, revealing your lacy panties, and his large hand on your thigh.

“Aht, aht—!” You pressed your foot to his bare chest, eyes burning with similar fire. “Ask me first, Illumi.”

“I shouldn’t have—”

“Illumi, ask me first.” Your tone left no room for arguing.

He blinked once, eyes boring into yours, seemingly trying to assert his dominance. He definitely needed some more work, his lingering controlling nature still present. But, you weren’t going to back down. Kneeling over for a man is not something you do, something your mother always told you not to do.

You raised a brow.

“May I?” He asked, his tone the same flat number it always is. You nod your consent. He goes to bring the knife closer, but you stop him again. “Thank you,”

You smirk then, “you’re welcome, pretty boy.” And you watch as his cheeks turn a small hint of pink, and as the knife began to carve his name into your soft thigh.

📍. 20/13/11.

note — oof, can you tell who my favorite in the adult trio is? i definitely gained more confidence in this towards the end. i’m not fully happy with this, but i’m confident enough to post it??

requests for one shots are closed.

thirst anon, character anon, and regular anon questions are open.

#illumi 📍#hisoka 🃏#chrollo ♰#adult trio #hxh x reader #hxh smut #illumi imagine #illumi zoldyck #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo imagine #hisoka imagine #hisoka morow #hxh scenarios #hxh imagines #not me being a blatant illumi stan #please this is horrible #tw.knife play

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