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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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DWD Reviews: Dry Hard or The One and Only Liquidator.. Episode.

Happy Birthday Liquidator! I nearly missed this, I procrastinated a bit too much, but thankfully I got this in time for the anniversary of Dry Hard. Now technically, by airing order LIquidator first showed up in “Just Us Justice Ducks”buuuuuut since that applies for a good chunk of the first appearances there, I choose to go with his first chronological appearance instead. So i’m breifly dipping back into the road to just us justice ducks for one quick review before getting back to life and times and three cabs. Thankfully there’s only one major Disney Birthday next month, and it’s Panchito, so I can fold it into the ride of the Three Caballeros, and hopefully by then i’ll be into the legend of the three cabs itself. But enough insight into my creative process let’s talk about Dry Hard and ole Liquidator himself? I won’t be doing my usual play by play.. partly due to time constraints, as I got to this review far later than intended due to a bungled sleep schedule and another, real world stuff related project I wanted to finally get done. And partly because this episode, while excellent, is pretty simple in it’s plot and being more of a comedy episode, as most Darkwings are honestly, ther’es no real space to dig into a lot of character stuff and most of it would be spent saying “that’s really funny”. And if i’m going to be doing more Darkwing reviews, and try and branch out into more comedy shows period, I’m going to need to try some things once in a while. The plot in short: It’s an incredibly hot day in St. Canard. While Drake is trying and failing to set up his new sprinkler system, he needs a 3/4 picniey flange as everyone keeps telling him, Gosalyin is profeteering and is in full “little shit” mode, offering consturction workers nearbye complimentary oversalted ships to get them to buy her lemonade. To make matters worse Bottled Water around the city is turning up gross, as is the tap water, we get a great bit with some yuppie valley girls over that, and an overly hot Darkwing, I mean he’s always hot but still, finds only two brands haven’t been poisoined. His and launchpad’s faviorite and one ran by Budd Fludd. Given his name and his schister apperance, it shouldn’t shock you Budd is behind things and while posioning his competitors and being confronted by darkwing, and acompanied by his two backup dancer’s/minons, he falls into the water, melts, jesus bud what’d you put in there, and seemingly dies. Naturally Darkwing isn’t that lucky, and instead it’s a super villian origin story as Budd has become the liquidator, and after giving Darkwing a through beatdown and Darkwing narrowly escaping turns all the city’s water hard, just go with it, to blackmail people into paying 5000 dollars for his product. Darkwing persues him, in a swim costume Liquidator chuckles at and compares to his cousin as seen above, and finally using that flange beats him temporarily.. and then for good when Bud shows up at his house, using wet cement to make his new foe into a statue. The reason for my brevity is this episode is the plot’s fairly simple.. but not bad at all. It provides a great origin for liquidator, and a creative foe for Darkwing to fight, one he can’t gas or punch and has to use clever tactics to fight, while Liquidator keeps pulling out new powers to fight back. But all make some logical sense, except for him being able to turn everything into hard water but hten we wouldn’t have a plot so kay, and up the stakes and his solution is both creative and makes sense given Darkwing was doing some work on the house,so the cement was well set up. It’s not bad by any means, in fact i’d call it excellent, it’s just a bit simplier than the last few episodes i’ve talked about and more about getting more gags and action in and given how creative and funnyt his one is I can’t complain. And character wise Drake is just being his usualy stubborn self, insiting he’s “the original mr.fixit’ when tha’ts clearly not true. It’s a simple standard comedy sueprhero setup: there’s a problme in their life, and solving that problem beats the bad guy. I’m mostly familiar with this sort of set up from the early 2000′s as the boom of teen hero shows really loved this trope and it’s generally a good one.

As for Liquidator himself.. he’s utterly fantastic. His pitch man gimmick is great, his minions, two sinigng showgirls who repeat what he says, are never not funny, and he himself has good banter with darkwing and intresting powers. It’s a shame this is his only solo apperance as the guy had a LOT of potential and most of the crew’s arguments... just kind of fall flat. 1) He’s too Powerful Then just scale him down like you ended up doing. The show has a wonky timeline and two diffrnet negaducks, it’s okay if a character comes back with less powers so you can use htem more. Just being able to shape himself and blast water is enough. You can remove his hydrokenisis with other water that isn’t part of him (though he could always gain the abliity to add more to him to keep it intresting), ablility to transmute water, ablility to boil himself, and abliity to turn into tiny gremlins when split up. No one would’ve carred for a good few decades and I would’ve understood. 2) His gimmick of talking like he’s out of a commerical is limited Not really. HIs debut had times where he talked normal and advertising has a long history. It’s TRICKY to write for but the payoff is a really funny runner. 3) Coming up with ways to defeat him This one’s a bit more understandable but as creative’s that’s your job, and there’s tons of ways to beat a water based foe, as spider-man can attest.

MY point with all that is, there’s a lot of ways around the issue set up here, and it’s a real waste of one of darkwing’s best foes. Especially since his origin is intresting, he has unique minions, and a REALLY cool apperance. That might of also been part of it: The liquidator is animated, to use a pun, very fluidily you can see his water bubbling when he stands sometimes and the animation is REALLY beautiuful and well done. So that easily could’ve been part of it: unlike the other villians he’s also harder to animate so they just went iwth theo nes they already had who were easier to deal with. It’s really a sad, wasted opprotunity and the character deserved better. So yeah overall, a fun, slight episode, with a great villian who again, deserved way better and could’ve been written around more. But if you have D+ check out Dry Hard. It’s a classic and if you haven’t checked out Darkwing it’s an excellent episode to gage wether you’ll like the series or not. Coming up we finally take a look at one of my faviorite Disney shows, House of Mouse, then dive back into scrooge’s life stoyr. Until then you can comission reviews for five bucks via a direct message on here or my discord, which is avaliable via my askbox. Until then, there’s always another rainbow.

#darkwing duck #drake mallard #liquidator #gosalyn mallard #launchpad mcquack #dry hard #reviews

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shewrites02 · 5 years

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An Oakland Summer | Erik Killmonger x Black Reader

AN: So I can’t find the post that inspired the story but as you read it many will know exactly which one I’m talking about. If anyone could link the post or tag the blog I would greatly appreciate it. Also this is super rough I just wanted to put something out to get the creative jucies flowing, please tell me what you think and if a pt.2 is in order

Summer always seemed hotter in the hood than in the suburbs. Like the heat every thug toated seemed to contribute to the tempature. Like every hot bullet put into a black child's chest warmed up the block just a little bit more. And lord knows with school out , and trouble so easily found on these streets, bodies dropped every day... At least thats what mama would tell me and my brothers every June.

But she wasn't home very much. Was always out working one of her three jobs so she left it up to my older brothers, Trell and Myles, to watch out for me. That usually consisted of dragging me to the basketball courts, so they could tell mama they were watching me when really they were arguing over fouls and jump balls.

"We got next!" Erik announced as he walked onto the court.

"Aye, E what's good nigga? We ain't seen you in a hot minitue." Myles shouted as he daped him up. Wide smiles graced their faces.

"You Know how it goes." Erik mumbled as he went to dap up the rest of the boys on the court.

Around here 'you know how it goes' was usually a euphemism for 'I've been selling on the corner'. but no one ever focuses too much on it. Here selling dope was a rite of passage, making boys into men. Word around here was Erik was saving up to go to M.I.T in the fall. A thug with a cause was the term used by most.

The boys played a couple games, before deciding the sunset meant it was time to go home. When the game wrapped up trell invited Erik over.

"There's a block party, my unc is hopping on the grill. Mommas first day off since school let out so you know she cooking. everyone supposed to be there."

It didn't take much to persuade him, especially after the mention of free food. The four of us, along with everyone else that lived on our street, headed toward our house. The sound of old school R&B and rap increased in volume the closer we got. You could smell the Bar-B-Que all the way at the basketball courts, givng us another reason to come home.

Once we reached the house everyone dispersed. Majority of the younger kids ran off to play in the broken hydrant that spewed water all down the streets and the slip n slides some had set up in their front yards, while the older kids headed straight to the grill to make their plates. Me, my brothers, and Erik went to greet my mom.

"Oh Erik, How are you?" My mom exclaimed as she embraced him into a tight hug.

I couldn't help the contorted and confused look on my face as she did so. I Barely knew this kid let alone my mother knowing him so where this affection came from, I had no idea. Maybe it had something to do with the three empty twisted teas that sat infront of her seat at the domino table.

"I'm Good Ms. Robin."

My mother ran her fingers through the loose tinderls of hair that escaped Erik's bun while he was playing basketball. A clear expression of dismay painted on her face as she pursed her lips.

"Oh Hunny, we gotta do something about this hair!"

"I know, I've been looking for someone to twist it Ms. Robin but don't nobody wanna do it for me!"

I chuckled. I may not know much about Erik, but I do know that any girl on this block would be dying at the opprotunity to touch that boy's hair, he was just very selective about who he chose to deal with.

"Oh CoCo will do it!" She oh so cheerfully exclaimed as she grabbed my hand to pull me in between the two of them.

"You twist?" He inquired

I shrugged.

He looked over me, his teeth biting his bottom lip ever so slightly. Sweat still glistened on his forehead although the sun wasn't shinning bright anymore. It was as if he were trying to determine if I were worthy enough to touch his precious hair.

"Ight."

Erik sat between your leg, his elbows rested lighlt on your thighs. He wrestled with sparking his blunt before finally the blue flame singed the end of the rolling paper. With one hit you could feel Erik's body relax into yours. He extended is arm above his head, now aligning the blunt perfect with your field of view.

"You smoke?"

You politely declined but told him to go ahead, and with no hestiation he took another hit. You freed his hair from the very sloppily thrown up ponytail it was in, allowing his dreads to fall where they may and move as the wind blew by. You rubbed his scapl astonished at not only how moisturized and soft his hair was, but how long he had allowed himself to go without a retwist. With a hesitant sigh, you dipped into your jane carter nourish & shine and begin to twist his hair.

For a while yall just sat in comfortable silence. Enjoying the blaring of old school R&B hits from a couple houses down. At some point you even caught Erik humming along to Bel Biv Devoe's Poison. Yall watched the neighboor hood kid's play in their front yards with water hoses and slip n slides and every couple of minutes or so you would hear the beakon of a mother calling her kids inside.

"You ever miss that... being that young?" You inquired totally enamerd at the pure joy that was so clearly painted on all these kids faces. truth be told it had been a while since you had really felt that. Something about it was all very nostalgic.

You could tell Erik had been caught off guard by your question. As he should be. Afterall isn't wasn't like yall were best friends or even friends at all. You were just who retwisted his hair for him.

"Nah." His voice only slightly above a whisper. It made it difficult to make out over the loud squeals and laughs of the children. His body had tensed a little, even despite being more than halfway through his blunt. "I ain't really had that."

He hit his blunt again, this time taking a longer swig than usual. You could tell by his shift in body languge and the dart of his eyes, his childhood wouldn't be a topic of discussion. You allowed the two of you to slip into yet another bit of comfortable silence as the song 'racks in the middle' filled the street.

You lightly rapped the words beneath your breath. Something about Nipsey Hussle always hit different with you. Like you felt his words deeper than just in your heart, you felt it in your bones.

"You a Nip fan?" Erik chuckled some, clearly astonished at your little prefromance.

"Ain't everybody in Californina?"

"You right. You Right."

You twisted the last of Erik's dreads and placed them back up in a neat bun. He let out a small grunt as he stood up then dropped his blunt to the ground stepping on it.

"Aye, nigga you killing the earth!" You protested. Demanding that he pick what was left of his blunt up and dispose of it properly.

Erik laughed, although he thought it was ridiculous he heard the passion and dared not to threaten it. He picked up the blunt and tossed it into the trash that was a few steps away.

"NIp got you feeling like you can save the world?" He teased.

"Naw you got that when you graduate M.I.T." You joked back.

Erik craked a slight smile, almost like it had been a while since he was able to freely speak with no one having certain expectations of him. He bent down a placed a small gentle kiss on your lips all while sliding a 50 in you back pocket.

"Stay up." He mumbled, giving you a wink as he wiped his bottom lip with the back of his hand, and walking away.

Taglist: @chaneajoyyy @lostennyc @https://lostennyc.tumblr.com/

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crosbymalkin871 · 6 years

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To enlighten us fans following that heartbreaking game last night: are there still things to be positive about the Pens? With the trade deadline looming, sudden injuries and division rivals landing coveted guys, what does this mean for GMJR? On the other hand, say the Pens do indeed miss the dance this year, how will it impact the team in the offseason? Will this prompt a fire sale with management? Will certain players be forced out? How will Sid and Geno's careers be likely viewed?

There are still a good amount of positivity left: We’re simply one point out of the second WC spot, and if we beat Columbus, we take third place from them by 1 point. And we still have a month before the season’s over, a little less if we wanna get in the Playoffs. It’s duable, but not completely impossible.

GMJR is such an enigma when it comes to trades. I almost wanna say he’s like Dubas, he just eyes the field and just waits for a golden opprotunity should it arise. He doesn’t appear to be worried, then again, he could just make an unassuming trade behind our backs. We’ll never know with him. If he thinks the team/coaching staff is fine, then he’s not gonna make it a big deal like we are. He’s gotten us our 2016 & 2017 Cup teams, don’t discount him even though it’s such an easy thing for hockey fans to do.

On one hand, I don’t wanna say a lot will happen in the offseason should we miss the playoffs. Then again, a 12-year streak will end and that could drastically change things. Look at Chicago after their 3 Cup wins, they started bombing so badly that they made some huge changes, and they still suck. So big changes like that is a 50-50 risk GMJR may or may not take. We’ll see once the summer’s here.

Also, Sid and Geno’s careers? Really? If we don’t make it in (keyword is if), their careers are still gonna be viewed the same as they did before. Of course there will be some shock and ridicule for them managing to break the longest-running Playoff streak in the modern NHL, but it’s not like it’ll be the end of their lives as they know it. Gods, y’all fuckers can be dramatic. They may get observers pointing how they’re not playing like they did years before, or how they’re close to retirement age, or even make false trade rumors (remember the Geno ones circa 2010?) but that’ll be nothing new. Try not to ask dumbass questions like that last one, you don’t wanna be a part of/feed that frenzy now do you?

#anonymous hockey fans

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existtolaugh · 6 years

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RWBY: Remnant Filled with Laughter - Chapter 2, Part 1

Chapter 2: The Day They Waited For

Blake never felt this lonely. Even when she was by herself, she found some content with the idea that it was for the betterment of others, but she was at home, with her family, with Sun, with her people, and she had never felt this alone in her life. Usually, laying down upon the rooftop of her family home and starring up at the exceptionally beautiful night sky looming over Menagerie would clear her mind, but all it did was make her miss her friends.

Her time with them was precious, she would think back at the fun they had, and it was enough to almost make her smile. Almost. But then she told herself that they were better off without her. It was for the best. But it did bring her a sense of guilty comfort thinking back to those words that Ruby told her all those months ago.

"Bring it on.~"

Blake actually smirked. "Well, you're rather confident, but we're not going to go easy on you." Blake released her clone, who rushed over to Ruby's left foot and kneeled down. Ruby had no time to prepare herself as the clone quickly started scribbling her nails against the bare, pink sole trapped in front of her.

"GAAHAH! W-W-WAHAHAIT! I WAHAHASN'T REHEHEADY! YOHOU'RE SUHUHUPPOSED TO STAHAHART SLOHOHOW!"

Blake calmy approached her right foot, which was currently tugging against the nylon ropes to try and protect her foot being so recklessly tormented by the excited clone. Unfortunately for Ruby, her feet were tied too far apart for any such priviledge, and Blake wasted little time slowly dragging a sharp nail down her quivering arch.

"Sorry, but I don't have a lot of control over that clone. She sort of just does her own thing. That shouldn't be a problem, yeah? You're resiliant, you should be able to handle her. Me, on the other hand, you should be more concerned about."

Ruby had no chance to brace herself, she wouldn't be able to handle either one, but two Blakes having their way with her? She would break.

"HEHEHAHAH THIHIS IHIHIS SOHO NOHOT FAHAHAIR! I DOHOHON'T DEHEHEHESERVE THIHIS! I BEHEHET THE BOHOHOOK IHIHISN'T EHEHEVEN THAHAHAT GOHOHOOD!"

Blake was a tad agitated now, letting her emotions get the best of her as she started scratching her claws against Ruby's poor arch, five nails more than enough to make her regret any poor choice of words.

"Yeah, well I guess I wouldn't know! Oh, how about you give Yang a call on her scroll! Get her opinion! Have her critique literature! How about a book report? Yeah! I bet she'll have plenty of time, training with Weiss all weekend to sit down and analyze MY book from cover to cover!"

Ruby instantly felt the remorse of her words, throwing her head back in intense laughter, now having no choice but to try and calm Blake down and apologize, needing to ease the torment on her defenseless feet.

"OKAHAHAY! I'M SOHOHORRY! I BEHEHET IHIT'S THEHE BEHEHEST BOHOOK EHEHEVER! YOHOHOU'LL LOHOHOVE IHIT!"

Again, Ruby said the wrong thing. As the clone tickled without any rhyme or reason, her nails finding every ticklish centimeter they could find, which happened to be the entire foot, the real Blake added her other set of nails into the mix, more frusterated than before, and using these fingers to spider against Ruby's heel, all while giving her arch the same cruel attention.

"I bet it is! A literary masterpiece! Words woven like poetry from the forward to the closing statements! I'd LOVE to read it!"

Ruby shut her eyes, trying to concentrate, trying to find the right words to say to make Blake relent, but every outcome she could fathom in her currently warped mind all lead to the outcome of Blake making it more unbearable. She scrunched her soles, she yanked on her ankles, but nothing helped. As much as her feet flailed, Blake meticulously followed her sole with unmatched accuracy, and the clone just managed to find more places just as sensitive as the last. She was trapped between precision and madness, and each was horrible for completely different reasons.

"STAHAHAP! GIHIMME A BREHEHEAK! BLAHAHAKE! PLEHEHEASE! IHIHIT'S TOHOHOO MUHUCH!"

Blake scowling, calmed back down and regained her composure, deciding to show mercy on her friend and relenting, putting a palm on the clone's shoulder and gently pushing her off, who responded by lazily falling backwards, a silly, hungry smile on her face. She wanted more, but the clone had enough sense to realize that Ruby was still human and needed to catch her breath.

Ruby was panting, her cheeks red as she laid her head against Blake's pillow, eternally greatful for the small relief.

"Ohoh my gohosh.. T-Thahank you.. Ahhah.."

Blake stood up and looked down at her giggling prey. She woulnd't show it, but she was having a lot of fun with this. It had been so long since she had these opprotunities, she forgot how the feeling of torturing somebody in this manner made her feel. She felt warmness, comfort and trust. She may have forced Ruby into this situation, but she was experienced enough to realize Ruby is sincerely enjoying herself.

"You really like this, don't you?" She asked, allowing Ruby to stimulate her thoughts outside of the desperate attempts to avoid her ticklish fate.

"I-I always.. Hahah.. Liked it when Yang tickled me.. I never told her how much I like this but.. I would always dangle my feet over the edge of the couch, or hide her things.. Or even sneak up on her and tickle her myself, and every time she would get payback on me. I think she secretly knew what I wanted.. And how much I like it, she's smart.. For a big sister.." She said, finally calm and with a smile on her face.

While Blake never had that sisterly connection that Ruby had, she understood what she was talking about and where she was coming from. She opened her mouth, wanting to talk about it, but.. No, she thought otherwise. She had a mission right now.

"Well, I bet Yang went easy on you. I'm not."

Ruby smirked a little and looked up at Blake, the same teasing look in her eyes as before.

"Oh? I thought you were going easy. Yang's way meaner.~"

Blake let out a small smirk, she knew Ruby was trying to agitate her but she decided to simply stay calm and prove first hand just how mean she could be. "Really now? Well, let's change that, shall we?" She said as she walked over to the dresser and opened up a drawer near the top. This is where the girls kept their cosmetics, grooming tools, toiletries, all the sorts, and she pulled out a bottle of Weiss' lotion and two hairbrushes, belonging to the girls in the room right now.

Ruby was on pins and needles now. She had never felt this sort of ticklish treatment she was about to receive, but she had most certainly seen videos of it on her scroll. She had always wanted to know what this felt like, and now she would finally receive the pleasure of finding out firsthand.

Blake's clone reached out for one of the hairbrushes with eagerness, only for Blake to bat her hand away with it. "Not yet, we need to put the lotion on first." She said as she sat back down and poured the lotion onto her hands before rubbing it into Ruby's left foot, massaging it in gently and with effective precision, getting every inch of her soles covered and properly and evenly spread, giving her soles a nice glossy sheen from heel to toe and everything between.

The clone, on the other hand, poured a more-than-enough amount of Weiss' expensive lotion directly onto Ruby's right foot, it dripping off her sole and onto the carpet below and she rubbed her palms into her foot, spreading it all over the place, making sure to sneak her nails into the rubbing to keep Ruby aware of how sensitive her feet would soon be. After a minute or two, this foot was drenched in lotion.

Ruby relaxed as best she could, when the clone wasn't sneaking her nails onto her slick soles, as the rubbing was very nice, and she could smell the hint of vanilla coming from the lotion, solving the mystery of why Weiss smelled like this sometimes. But that wasn't important. What was, however, was the heavenly feeling Ruby felt as her soles were given this attention, leaning her head back and closing her eyes, only to be interrupted by the occassional nail from the clone.

Then she felt the brushes, and Blake had never heard Ruby scream that loud before.

"AAAGGHHHHHAHAHAHAH! OH MY GOHOHOHOD! STAHAHAHAHAP! BLAHAHAHAKE! PLEHEHEASE!"

Blake held Ruby's big toe firmly between her thumb and her index finger, keeping the quivering foot in place as the round-tipped bristles of her black hairbrush scrapped against her arches, all the way down to her heels and up to the balls of her feet, and repeating the process. "Hmm, surely this can't be that bad. After all, I'm not as mean as Yang, yeah?"

The clone didn't bother using a free hand to keep her shaking foot steady, to her that meant there were five nails not doing their duty to help the brush. The brushes scrubbed madly all over her sole without any reason or pattern, just to bring about as much frantic laughter from the poor girl that she could bring out, with her five nails serving almost as a way to keep her foot in line. If she tried shaking it too far in any direction, the nails would just skitter against her sole to send it back where it came from.

Ruby couldn't tell which was worse, she could only scream her ticklish head off as her feet were being tortured beyond what she had imagined. She had always watched the videos, she had fantasized about it, she had waited her whole life to be put in this exact scenario, and here it was.

The videos made it look easy.

"YOHOHOU HAHAVE TO STAHAHAP! BLAHAHAKE! I CAHAHAN'T DOHOHO THIHIHIS! HEHAHAHAHAH IHIHIT'S TOO MUHUHUCH! PLEHEHEHEASE!"

Blake almost felt bad for the girl. Almost. She had teased and taunted her, taken her belongings and talked about how much she liked being tickled. Blake convinced herself she was doing Ruby a favor. She huffed at the begging and screaming filling the room and used her hand to hold her foot steady, wrapping her hand from her arch to the back of her foot as she started digging the hairbrush against her toes, pushing them back ever so gently so as not able to wiggle away from the ticklish bristles.

The clone soaked in the poor girl's pleading, jabbing her nails between the wiggling digits and scrapping against the webbing inside, drinking in the melodic symphony of suffering coming from Ruby's lips as the brush scrubbed over every available portion of sole that it could possibly explore, sliding around on her drenched foot with ease.

Ruby was beside herself in agony. She needed the cats to stop. It was the very top priority of her existence right now. Her feet were far too sensitive, and being put in front of Blake's skillful fingers and her clone's unpredictable madness, she was certain that if somebody who was not ticklish at all was subjected to this, they would have been screaming for mercy.

After ten minutes of this, Blake finally relented. Ruby was a mess, her body covered in sweat, her hair unkept and sticking to her face, her chest heaving up and down in exhaustion as she caught her breath. Blake was certain she had out-tickled the tickle-hungry girl that lay broken before her. "So, what do you have to say for yourself?" She asked, arms crossed over her chest in certain victory.

After a few seconds, Ruby turned her attention to her teammate, opened her mouth as if to speak and plead her case. The words were about to escape her lips, but before they even had a chance, a gasp quickly shot out of her throat, introducing a new stream of giggles.

"AAHAH! Aahahahahah wahahait! Noho, stahahahahap!~"

Blake tilted her head in curiosity before remembering her clone. She looked over and there she was, her hands clamped tightly around Ruby's foot as she dragged her rough, wet, cat-like tongue right over her arches, purring lovingly as she did so.

"Blahahake! H-Hehehelp! Yohohour tohohongue tihihickles! Gehehet her ohohoff! Plehehease!~"

Normally, Blake would simply let her victims suffer, but because she did just force Ruby through such tremendous torment, she decided to be nice. "Hey, off! Give her a break!" She demanded.

And her clone had the nerve to ignore her master.

#rwby #remnant filled with laughter #tickling #ruby rose #blake belladonna #ticklish lives matter

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inspirationallyinsane · 6 years

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January 21 2019

Hi Tumblr. It is I. Umm it has been a hot minute since I've written a post on here. A lot has happened, I've been pretty busy. Life got really crazy really quick. So I guess first thing? I left US Bank! Yea. Pretty insane. I don't know how much I wrote about how awful that place was for the last few months I was there but things at the Ashland branch went super downhill. I know I complained about our ABM a little bit and I won't say too much just out of respect I guess? Honestly though he was a disaster. I mean he was rude to his coworkers, especially me (in fact, he blatantly told me he didn't like me, which??? Unprofessional to say the least. And sure, I was put in charge of training him and maybe I was a bit harsh with some things but I never said anything rude I would just perhaps look kinda exasperated when I had to repeat things 10-15 times), he was rude to the customers (going so far as to throw papers at a customer and storm out of the building once), and he never seemed like he wanted to be at work. None of us want to be at work but we put that happy face on and we are engaged with our jobs and we do our best every day. That is what you do. Anway. After the incident with the customer where he threw some shit I couldn't justify staying. I applied for a job at Chase and a week later I was interviewing for the job. Now, I told Erika, of course, about the job and she offered to match whatever they were gonna pay me but. I wasn't leaving because I was unsatisfied with my compensation. Which now I would be because I'm getting paid wayyyyy more at Chase to literally do less work. But I told her, ya know? I'm leaving because this branch is going to fail the next audit. I'm leaving because no one around here cares anymore. Before I officially got the job at Chase, after my second interview, Erika and the ABM had a meeting with all of us and one of the things they went over was dress code. They had to go over dress code because everyone had started wearing jeans to work. Erika said oh well you can't wear denim jeans but you can wear yoga pants or leggings. What??? Since when are yoga pants professional wear for a bank?? It's insane. Like I remember how she dresses for work and it's honestly usually a mess, including the yoga pants/leggings, whatever you want to call them. And at Chase? My manager wears a full suit every day, in Chase colors. And that's what is expected. I have to wear a blazer or a suit jacket every day. That is what is expected of bankers at Chase. Pants must be professional wear pants and skirts must be knee length. Dresses must be Chase brand, or in Chase colors. The dress code is unbelievably strict and I did have to get some new clothes which irritated me a bit but it's so nice working in a place where everyone looks good. I gave my two weeks at US Bank but I really ended up doing one and one day. On my last Monday we couldn't even open the vault. It was so dumb. Ofc we had to stay open even though the ABM complained the whole entire time. We couldn't process any cash deposits whatsoever. We couldn't do ATMs or the night drops. And it's because someone got careless during close and set the time on the vault for too long. But of course that happened. Because we got careless with everything. No one gave two shits anymore, including me. Really though, it's hard to care when the place is going up in flames. We were losing customers every day. It got to the point where I'd do 15 transactions in a whole day. I wasn't able to sell loans or credit cards or even checking accounts simply because we didn't have poeple coming through the doors. Really too, it wasn't just the ABM. Erika checked out and the rest of the staff were mostly new and super part time. Buffee and I were the only full time workers who weren't managers. And honestly? We ran the fucking branch. Mostly me, I think, because she just wouldn't do the extra work. Not that I blame her. I only did it because I really loved my job and I loved US Bank and I wanted the branch to do well. I shouldn't have been training the new employees and I certainly shouldn't have been asked to train the ABM. I shouldn't have been consoling angry customers who ask to speak to a manager. That's the manager's job. It got to the point where I would say I was the ABM because the actual ABM would just say "I don't know" or "I can't handle that". So I had to handle it. I was being paid shit to do his job and he wasn't getting paid much more so I get it. Like I'm making more being a banker at Chase than he is making as a manager at US Bank. I know that too because I told Erika I'm like listen, what they are offering me? You guys don't even offer that pay grade to bankers, let alone UBs. And I can't get paid more than the ABM here, that would be super weird for everyone. It just didn't make sense. Anyway. There are things I miss about US Bank for sure. Like at Chase I can't set up loans, ever, at all. And for things like checking accounts I'm supposed to be like a last resort, only to be used if all the relationship bankers are busy. Yea, I'm a personal banker who really doesn't have to do anything. And that bugs the shit out of me. But! I get incentive points for things the relationship bankers and loan officers do so I still get payouts and my base salary is way higher so. I guess I can't be too dissatisfied. I miss the relationships I had at US Bank too. It really did feel like a work family. And although that came with a lot of conflict, we were all super close and that was nice. I don't think anyone there disliked me, except for the ABM and then Erika got rude after I told her I was leaving, um but anyway, everyone said shit about the other people they didn't like. Regardless of all of that though, we all talked and we talked about our personal lives and we chilled and we laughed and we joked around. I got to know my coworkers well, on a friendly basis. Some of them I got to know extremely well, ya know? I can already tell I won't be having that same experience at Chase. Everyone seems very closed off, distant. Even the people who have been there for years and years together only really talk about work stuff or ask little questions like "how was your weekend?". So. I'll miss my work friends. I'll miss Erika I think. She was really cool. Even though I don't think she was a good manager, she was nice. And after leaving I thought about it a lot because she was really rude to me on my last week. And I thought about my promotion at US Bank or any of my raises; none of it came from her. Angelina, who was the previous ABM and a total superstar, she advocated for me. She is the one who saw potential in me and gave me all of my opprotunities at US Bank. Even when I first applied and came in to ask for an interview like 5 times, it wasn't until I got to talk to Angelina that I was given one. When I asked Erika for an interview, she told me that they "generally" don't hire college students. I was applying for a part time job. I thought that was ridiculous so of course I kept asking and thank god for them I did. Because what an asset I turned out to be?? When it was just me and Buffee and Erika, I was essential to keeping that branch functional. I took on so much responsibility there, I was asked to do so many things, and never once was I acknowledged for it by Erika. When Karen got fired I asked her to promote me to Karen's position and she said no. I asked her for a raise since I was the only banker at the branch now and she said no. It wasn't until Chase was tryna hire me that she offered me a raise. Fucking sad ya know? That she never saw potential or value in me until someone else would. So. Thinking about that was a little irritating. That soured my memory of her for sure. I do wish her and the branch the best though. I still love US Bank with all my heart and I really hope to go back someday. I don't see that as a likely option for me since they pay shit for all of their positions which I now realize; working somewhere with a decent pay scale. US Bank will always be my bank. I don't plan on moving my accounts to Chase or doing any business with Chase (Not to discourage people because Chase actually has excellent products and amazing online/mobile services and this is a completely emotional decision). But um. Yea. I guess my heart just doesn't feel right at Chase. One year. Ya know? That's all I'm doing here. When I got hired I talked to the district manager and he said at the end of my first year I can get trained to be a relationship banker and relationship bankers get a whole bunch of certifications, including a series 6. And really once I have my series 6 I can go a whole lot of places. I mean we'll see. Ummm so with the new job, comes a new home :) Chase hired me to work at the Grants Pass branch so ofc I wanted a place there. Driving one hour there and one hour back every day sounded like hell. And similarly, Trent and I were in a place where he was driving out to see me everyday and I didn't want him to have to make that drive either so!!! We decided to get a place together. Which is super awesome and exciting. We found a nice house pretty quick and I got kinda attached to it. Unfortunately since it was through a property management company and CPM loves to dick me over, we didn't get it. I was devastated but!!! On the same day there was a home posted on craigslist from a private landlord that was perfect for us. Luckily it had been posted like an hour before I got on and so I was the first to respond. We went out to see it the next day and within under a week we were in the house. It was crazy. I was so sure that we weren't going to be able to find a place and I didn't know what to do about the CPM thing but this little miracle house came along at the exact right time. I even got to sleep there after my first day at Chase. Never had to commute to and from Ashland. It still feels a little unreal. We're finally starting to settle in more, getting comfortable in our house. Our house. I love that. It's really great. We have a full ass house. Not even an apartment. I got us a house. That's so cool. I think that's cool. Ya know? I'm 20, living in a great house with my favorite person in the world, killing it professionally and in my personal life. I'm doing well. And I'm in a place where, unless I fuck up big time, rapid growth is inevitable. The district manager of Chase wants to see me in a position where I'd be making 80-160 grand by the beginning of next year. Or even if I leave Chase I'd be extremely competitive in a high paying field. I'm in a good place right now. I have been saying that I want to retire at 35 for about half a year now and I wasn't sure how I was gonna be able to make that happen at US Bank. In fact, I was pretty sure that there was no way I could make that happen at US Bank. But now?? I know I can do it. I want to be making 6 figures by the time I'm 22, at the latest. And that's a very real possibility for me. 22. And in ten to fifteen years?? If I actually go into financial advising or something similar? It'll absolutely be enough. Anyway. Uh so yes, obviously things with Trent are good. One may even say great. We still struggle with a few things but I think we'll adjust. A solid 80% of the time I'm extemely happy. He is perfect, he means the world to me and I'm so happy he's part of my life in a pretty major way now. It's so great having him around all the time. We chill and we play games and we watch funny anime shows and we go grocery shopping and all of the other things. Everything is better when he is around. This is all that I have ever wanted. To be in a great, non-abusive, serious relationship with the person I love with all my heart. To be living with someone who I feel so so much for. What more could I ask for? And of course the house isn't perfect; it is old and the lights have issues and some of the outlets don't work and the heating system is loud and the garage has holes in the roof but??? Compared to the last place I was in?? It's a dream. It has heat!! And it has a dishwasher and it has two full bedrooms, a living room, and a kitchen! It has hardwood floors and two bathrooms!! There is actual closet space and storage space and we have a backyard and a frontyard and washer/dryer hookups. It's perfect for me. Similarly? Of course my relationship isn't perfect all of the time. We fight or we'll argue about something really stupid or I'll get upset about one thing or another or he'll be lowkey passive agressive about something and it'll take me ten years to figure out why but it is by far the absolute best relationship I've ever had and I'm so incredibly happy with him. He plays league with me and he makes me laugh all of the time. He's the most beautiful person in the world and when I look at him I am so filled with emotion that sometimes I want to cry. He'll be so sweet sometimes and ya know it's the little things like a random hug or a kiss that makes me know that he cares about me. I feel valued and appreciated and beautiful when I am with him. I get to feel all of those things all of the time now because I am always with him. So. Things are great right now. But. Sometimes I still feel empty and that bugs the shit out of me. Sometimes I still feel an emotion resembling sadness and I'm not sure why. I often feel like I'm not enough like I'm not doing enough or being enough or I feel like I'm a waste of space person. And I can look at things logically and know that everything is so so good but. I just can't feel it. And that's hard for me. That's really hard. And I start to question if things really are good. If I'm actually doing well in my career or whether or not my boyfriend actually cares about me, like he's gonna leave me for sure ya know? Why wouldn't he. I struggle. I still struggle. And now I have to wonder, will I always struggle like this? When is it that I can just be happy? When is it that I won't feel empty anymore. When I can feel like a normal person and I can appreciate myself and my life and I can feel loved? When do I get to live? When will the anxiety and the depression and the awful feelings go away? Wtf am I doing wrong? Why do I still feel something resembling sadness? Why do I still need my sadness poems and why do I still connect to Riz songs? I don't know. Anyway. This was a pretty long post. I should stop. I need to sleep, so I can go to work and slay it out tomorrow, like usual ;) Goodnight Tumblr, I hope all my readers are well :)

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tealandrosegold · 3 years

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September 1, 2021 Wednesday

Another morning. Instead of a donut and pumpkin, I got an everything bagel, a banana and an iced vanilla latte. Yesterday I was complaining about how I expect everything to fall into place but because I did apply and wasn’t thinking about it, I was pleasently surprised that Boys and Girls Club requested an interview. I haven’t gone there since I was a freshman in high school. It’s just funny because I wanted a job that would do with my career and it kinda just fell into place. Now, I’m nervous that they’ll do a background check and stuff it has been six years since I’ve been incarerated and I haven’t done anything to rouse up the law. I was speaking to Stephanie yesterday about grad school and how I wanted to stay in Lincoln but I wasn’t so sure about living at home for another two years because I wanted my ‘life to start’. She said I could get a region 5 which is basically the same thing as the rent subsidy I was getting with the nuns. I basically fucked up living with the nuns and they evicted me but with this, I’ll be in school and hopefully working at the Boys and Girls club. As I type this I can feel my nails feeling weird on the keys. I got them dipped and they look pretty but feel so heavy. The only downside to all of this is telling Mama and Baba but they aren’t very supportive. I’m waiting until the start of the new year when I tell them my grad school plans after graduation. Another thing I was thinking about as far as goals is just that the opprotunities given to me are immense. I think this what they call blessings. It feels like hard work getting them though.

As I listen to my music this morning I turned into a sap by listening to White Stripes. I pretty much stopped listening to Jack White because it brings me pain. There was a tucked bench while I was walking on campus and I felt a pang. It’s something when you miss someone but realize that they probably don’t think about you in the same ways you think about them. All I know is that Loki tries but gets fustrated at their differences. It wasn’t really about love and obession as he said but the fact that we were that close and really understood each other. Even Fassy is getting tired of all the things that I give to him in regards to ____. I really try to give the others ways that they can be orginal but it argues the fact that I felt like I had a soul connection with someone. Like I said. He thought it was obession and I had a swift block on facebook. There’s just some things I can’t explain that happened and those are my pockets that comfort me now. I was actually thinking about Jaren as well. And the target sight. But Ryan always tells me he attempted to rape me and if he didn’t he meant harm. There was a time when I’d disassociate just thinking about him because of the fear I felt from the potential of being raped. I just couldn’t comphrend it six years ago. I guess the only reason for clarity these days is because I know my body.

I tried having sex with Ryan last night but I couldn’t get myself into the zone. It’s weird because these days whenever I cum, I get feelings of shame like what I’m doing is so wrong even though I know it’s natural. I tried a new thing where I tried telling him about my day instead of just jumping into it like I was used to. It’s like a nonverbal agreement that we have sex but I can never enjoy yet. I don’t feel a soul connection with any of them including Loki. I don’t know if it’s from the EMDR I’ve been doing or if it’s just because I delatch myself so much from the act and disassociate while I’m having sex. I can’t really say it’s enjoyable. I have read that when your goal is just to have an orgasm then you aren’t really having sex. It feels robotic these days. But I did attempt last night even though I said I just wanted Deadpool instead of him. I’m trying to make things as normal as possible for them and for myself. I laugh and think to myself how it feels like split personality disorder but it really isn’t. A while ago Angelina messaged me and told me that normal is what I make it. And this is normal for me. It doesn’t harm anyone and I know it’s not harming me. If anything it makes me feel more lonely than others. But back on Jaren. I don’t hate him but I know my mom thinks that he’s some sort of soilder in terms of religion and spirtiuality. She’s on to something but all that was a past life. Just like her calling me a whore for hanging out with Mary Magdelene as she said. But I switched that for Afton when I was 11 is what I told her. And she still called me a whore for the whole summer.

I did my routine this morning and last night pretty automatically. It’s shower day today and I don’t want to elongate it so I think I’m going to take a shower after classes since my homework load isn’t alot tonight. But I’m also going to put away laundry. It just makes sense for me to do it during the week instead of leaving it all for Saturday. The state of the bathroom makes me sad and I’m trying to be better about keeping on top of my chores. I might light some incense today as well. Just things, things, things.

Namaste,

Nyameer

#9/1/21

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anonymous-hopeful · 7 years

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The Soul Society (Chapter Three: A Life So Bitter, A Death So Sweet)

First Chapter:https://anonymous-hopeful.tumblr.com/post/168367064353/the-soul-society-chapter-one-snow-melts-with

Second Chapter:https://anonymous-hopeful.tumblr.com/post/168874873773/the-soul-society-chapter-two-and-we-shall-ride

"Oh my...I remember that day well...though I had no idea that it landed you in the position that you're in now.", Hilda cried.

"I admit, it does make sense when you think about it. Once human, and now, practically monsters! No offense, boys.", Sally pointed out.

"None taken...I just wish that...I knew who...killed us...", the Blind Spectre sighed, directing his eye socket downward.

"Well, it's nice to know that I'm not the only undead one here.", the Baroness announced, placing both hands on her head and lifting it from her neck without fail, a collection of gasps filling the room.

"Baroness von Bon Bon! When was this?", Rumor exclaimed.

"A day after the Express crashed. Though...I remember it well...".

The Baroness held her head in her hands, stroking her hair slowly.

"If this didn't happen, I'd probably still have a free soul. The worst part was that it was for something that I did to try and help my kingdom, not hurt it. Though, I feel that she was looking forward to the moment when she could drop the axe on me...and Lord Layerbarré, the blabbermouth..oh, I'm rambling-".

"No, no, Baroness. This is why we meet.", Elder Kettle reassured her. "Now, go on.".

Most would assume that a kingdom of candy would be a literal heaven on Earth. Afterall, it was coated with sugar, chocolate, tainted with toffee and sour balls and gummy bears, entangled in mints and ice cream, and fizzy sodas and crunchy bars. Just saying the treats would give an eager little kid a sugar rush. This kingdom's name was Caine, commonly known as the Candy Kingdom of Caine to neighboring areas. When someone visited, they were insured a marvelous time from the moment they stepped into the sweet haven, and they most certainly did have the fun they were promised, and every time they left, be it their first trip or their five-hundredth, they always said the same thing.

"What a place, it's practically heaven!"

And the subjects would smile and nod all the same. After the visitors left, however, the kingdom would revert back to its true horror, for the royal monarchs were seething with evil and malice, more so the Queens. The reigning queen at the moment was Hershey Snickerdoodle, a lass from a long line of crazy cookie queens. Out of all the eras of Caine, the era of the Snickerdoodle was positively the worst. It was this era when the public execution law was put into place, and if the sovreign ruler had found you guilty of a law from the book of the High Cook Book of Order, be it by any technicality, then you would be executed in front of the entire kingdom based on your social standing. Peasants usually had it worst, with death by torture, while the socialites were given a quick death by beheading.

The Snickerdoodle era was also the one to host the most deaths of the royal peers, the barons and baronesses, the dukes and the duchesses. Nearly every one of them, those horrid Snickerdoodles killed off, as well as their families. There was Duke and Duchess Delicious, a merry couple executed for opposing the queen's vote for expansion of the kingdom, which required backbreaking work on the behalf of all subjects, then there was Duchess Gobstopper who was put to an end after trying to reorganize the royal army with deserving citizens. Not to mention Baron Stickyfingers, Baroness Lollipop, Duke Kitkat and his family, Baron Swirl and his children, Baroness Yohgurt, the list went on.

There was, however, a family of Barons and Baronesses that withstood the test of time, and that was the von Bon Bons. With every new Snickerdoodle, there wasn't one von Bon Bon put to the guillotine. Some said it was a blessing from the cookie royals before them. Others say that it would be a matter of time. When the Barons, Baronesses, Dukes, and Duchesses were lined up to be inducted into the Queen's realm, a young and new von Bon Bon, Taffipullé stood tall and proud. As Queen Hershey went down the line, she looked Taffipullé something fierce.

"Well, well, another von Bon Bon to be a part of a Snickerdoodles' rule. Tell me something, Taffipullé, are you mad, insane, or feeling lucky?".

"Nothing of the sort. As a member of the von Bon Bon family, it is my duty to serve. Not doing so would be a disgrace upon my family.", Taffipullé answered, calmly.

"Another thing would also be a disgrace upon those with your name.", Hershey snickered, pulling the Cook Book from her crown. "Unlike the Snickerdoodles before me, I will have a von Bon Bon beheaded, and it shall be a wonderous event that everyone in the kingdom will gather to watch as I myself weild not the blade of the guillotine, but a custom made ax with a blade ground so sharp that it could split a single hair. Yes, I shall have the honor of making you the first beheaded von Bon Bon, and from then your family will be mocking and scorning your name. Just you wait, Taffipullé.".

With a twisted laughter, she continued on down the row, leaving Taffipullé the slightest bit frightened. There was no doubt about it; Hershey Snickerdoodle was out to kill her, and possibly her entire family. That was, if she could find anything she was guilty of. Which she shouldn't. Rather, she would not, if her plan had went smoothly.

Once the ceremony was complete, now Baroness Taffipullé von Bon Bon had made her way to her castle home, named lovingly Whippet Creampup. Yes, her castle did indeed double as a pet, and a loving, protective pet all the same. Within the castle were older workers of the royalty, ones who had bonded with her family of von Bon Bons. Lord Gob Packer, who had served a queen before she did, had been friends with her father, Baron Candibär von Bon Bon, and had known Taffipullé since her childhood. Kernel von Pop, a bit older than Lord Gob Packer, had worked with her grandmother, Baroness Licorice von Bon Bon, and though cranky and crass, was still a rather sociable candy, albeit competitive. Muffsky Chernikov, an attack coordinator, had known her grandfather, Baron Charelston von Bon Bon like a brother, and was always available for help.

Then there was Sargent Gumbo Gumbull, Sir Waffington the Third, and Patsy Menthol, who had actually known Taffipullé since grade school. There was no better group of candies to be put together, which was why she had trusted them with the plan she had.

"Everyone, gather 'round. I know it seems like Hershey will be the toughest Snickerdoodle of them yet, but, I have a plan to soothe her. The issue it that if she finds out at all, well, I'll be executed. The first von Bon Bon to be. Is everyone ready to get the plans?", Taffipullé asked the subjects.

"Well of course! Anything to cool off that cookie! She'll be as mellow as an Oreo!", Gob Packer proclaimed.

"Good. Now then, there is a magical Isle just a bit from the docks, called Inkwell Isle. I've been in cahoots with a queen bee on the Isle, named Rumor Honeybottoms. She's been sweet enough to make a special honey that will change the queen's mentality, so long as she eats it on a regular. All we have to do is go to the Isle and gather the supply. We'd need a boat, as Whippet doesn't like the water.".

"That's no issue; I can get a boat straight away!", Gumbo stated with a grin.

"Good, good. Then, when we return, we'll need a way to ship in the honey without being noticed."

" I'm postitive I can put somethin' together, in fact, I'll contact the Candy Corn Company and see what they have.", Kernel von Pop assured.

"Very nice. Now what about actually sneaking it into the castle?", Taffipullé inquired.

"Maybe the Jelly Bullies? They know how to get around.", Patsy suggested.

"Well, yes, but with them you never know. Perhaps I should take a chance on them?", Taffipullé sighed.

"I'd do it. They haven't stirred up any trouble since the whole incident with the oil derrick.", Muffsky enlightened.

"That was indeed a good while ago...fine. I shall trust them,"the Baroness decided, "now hurry on and gather what we need for the trip. We'll need to scoot if we want to get the shipment in time.".

Now standing paitiently, waiting at the docks, Baroness von Bon Bon stared into the sky, watching as the sun set that taxing day. It seemed as if the entire kingdom was heading to rest, giving the Baroness and her cohorts the perfect opprotunity to leave. Finally, as the sun had disappeared from the sky, her subjects had came out, the Sargent on his promised boat, and the others carrying the Kernel's promised containers.

"Will this be enough, Baroness?", von Pop asked, ushering his company forward.

"It should be. Never have I carried so many containers! ", Muffsky complained.

"Oh, yes! Now hurry onto the boat. You never know who could be an insider.", Taffipullé warned, signalling the sargent to lower the ramp.

Quickly and silently, with the exception of some clanging containers, the Baroness and her familiars loadedonto the boat and set sail for the magical Isle. It seemed impossible, but after exactly one night's sleep, the boat had landed in the docks of the Isle.

"Should we all go?", Gob Packer asked in a whisper.

"No, too suspicious. I'll go, and you boys stay here and prepare the containers.", Taffipullé said, making her way off.

Once on dry land, the Baroness looked about. It seemed like they ended up in a forest, a lush and thriving forest, but a forest all the same. Huffing, Taffipullé made her way forward, attempting to navigate her way out. She'd never admit it herself, but she was never good with directions. Now, she was going in circles...at least, she was sure of it.

"Hey. You're new here, aren't you?".

Surprised, the Baroness looked around, trying to find the source of the squeaky, high-pitched voice.

"Down here, miss."

Looking downward, Taffipullé had finally identified the voice; a small blue ...goop?

"Well hello, small creature! Would you mind helping me out a bit?", Taffipullé asked politely.

"Well, I suppose I could spring that...that is, if you'll give me something in return.", the goop replied with a wink.

"That depends on what you want.", the Baroness returned, catching on to what he was hinting.

"I mean, I am a pretty handsome slime here, and you just happen to be the finest thing to come to this forest since that sassy flower over there, so- hey!".

"You disgusting little creep! Get back here so I may crush you like a bug!", Taffipullé cried out, stamping her heeled shoe repeatedly upon the ground.

"Try as you may, us slimes don't die, we only briefly decompose, then reappear perfectly fine!", the slime boasted, running in circles around the Baroness.

"Goopy! My goodness, you can't control yourself.", a large flower groaned in the background.

"Cagney, speak for yourself! If I best recall, your motto is 'Extreme Pollination, Total Domination', is it not?", Goopy retorted.

"That doesn't mean I want you of all things to pollinate me! Ugh, just imagine that abomination of a flower sprouting.", Cagney cringed.

"Wait, I never offered to do that! I didn't even know you could...flowers have those things?", Goopy inquired in slight amazement.

"Yes, flowers have both, and before you ask, I am not revealing how it works.", Cagney scowled.

"Ahem! Excuse me boys, but I would like directions to Rumor Honeybottom's hive without being harrassed by slimes and informed of flower vaginas!", Taffipullé yelled sternly.

"Cool it, hot stuff, you haven't even introduced yourself.", Goopy replied.

"I am Baroness von Bon Bon, I come from the Candy Kingdom of Caine, and I need directions to Rumor Honeybottoms!"

"Specifically Rumor? That's a new one.", Cagney said with a leaf on his chin.

"What do you mean? Isn't she a queen bee?", the Baroness questioned.

"Nope. Just a worker trying to get by. Whenever she has a moment, she flies by and vents about her oppressive queen. I wish she'd buzz by my place.", Goopy sighed.

"What! She lied about her queen status? Whatever, I still need to talk to her. Could any of you provide directions out of this forest at least?", Taffipullé asked, exasperated.

"Sure. Go left at the nearest oak, and continue straight from there.", Cagney informed.

"Thank you, Cagney...um...Calendula?"

"I'm a Carnation! Why must everyone think that I'm a-"

"My apologies, but I must take my leave!", the Baroness interrupted, making her way out of the forest.

Trying her best to disregard the encounter from earlier, the Baroness had, thankfully, exited the forest, and had now found herself in a rather easy to navigate carnival. Whilst walking through, someone had tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, what did the clown say to the newcomer?".

"I...don't know. I admit, I never heard that one before. What did the clown say to the newcomer?".

"He said 'Hi, how are ya? The name's Barry, but call me Beppi, because I'm a clown-in-the-works!'".

Taffipullé looked a bit lost, before realizimg that the punchline was an introduction.

"Oh, haha! Very clever, Beppi, sir! Most certainly more hospitable than the slime and the carnation on the other side.", Taffipullé replied.

"Don't mind Goopy Le Petité and Cagney Carnation. Ones a worm, while the other's worm food!", Beppi joked.

"Ahaha! Ah, where are my manners? I am Baroness von Bon Bon, and I am looking for a worker bee named Rumor Honeybottoms. You wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you?", Taffipullé inquired.

"Rumor Honeybottoms? Hmm...I've heard a buzz about that girl. Can't say I know her personally though. There is this guy though, huge bookworm, a genie-in-the-works by the name of Jimmy. I think the two have met.", Beppi informed.

"Would you take me to him?", the Baroness asked with a smile.

"Why take you to him when he's right there!", Beppi returned, pointing to the pyramid near the rides.

"Oh, that's convenient. Should I say you sent me?", the Baroness wondered.

"I think he'll know. See, he and I have a thing, ya know?", Beppi chuckled.

"Oh. Ah, I'll take note.", Taffipullé nodded, heading toward the pyramid.

When she opened the door, she had expected crazy magic shenanigans, and all the other things you'd associate with genies. Never would the Baroness expect papers and textbooks to be strewn about the genie's house.

"Aladdin, Shmeladdin. I swear, why does it always have to be an essay on Aladdin? Aren't there any more stories with genies in them?", the genie complained, afterward realizing that he had a guest.

"Hello, hello, welcome to Djimmi's pyramid! Pardon the mess, I have an exam for genie school, and it makes up fifty percent of my final grade...say, I don't remember having you on my magic lesson list.".

"I haven't been here before Jimmy-"

"Djimmi."

"Does it make a difference? We're pronouncing it the same, are we not?", Taffipullé questioned.

"It all depends, madame."

"Madam?"

"See? Just like that!", Djimmi chortled.

"Anyway, pronunciations aside, I was told by Beppi that you know Rumor Honeybottoms. Is this true?", the Baroness interrogated.

"Beppi? Ah, you know, he and I have a thing.", Djimmi smirked.

"Yes, I am well aware, now could you please answer my question?", the Baroness asked, quickly becoming frustrated.

"I know Rumor, yes. She lives and works in the hive complex in the city, which is on the right side of the carnival.", Djimmi answered.

"My thanks, Jimmi."

"No problem, Taffypull."

"It's Taffipullé...and how do you know my name?"

Djimmi shrugged, sporting the same smirk.

"I'm a genie, I know things.".

Making her way to the metropolitan area, Taffipullé immediately spotted a meloncholy worker bee floating sadly out of the hive complex near the front of the city.

"Rumor?"

Nearly jumping out of her wings, Rumor looked toward the Baroness.

"Taffipullé? I wasn't expecting you so soon! Um...I'm not a queen, by the way...", she admitted, sheepishly.

"Yes, I had learned that from some of the locals. I am a real Baroness, however, and you have my enchanted honey, or was that a lie, too?", Taffipullé confronted.

"I didn't lie about the honey, I will say that much. Hopefully, you have something to hold it all in.", Rumor replied.

"Oh yes. There's a hole boatload of containers on the ship I rode here.", Taffipullé informed.

"Well, that's going to do a lot of good here!", Rumor stated sarcastically.

"At least I didn't lie about being a queen!".

"So, what's in the honey?", Sargent Gumbo asked, looking at the glass jars on the boat.

"It's no ingredient; just a bit of magic is all.", Taffipullé claimed.

"Ooh, berries. I hope this seems unsuspicious when we get back. We've been gone for a whole day now!", Lord Gob Packer mused, worried.

"If it takes as long to get back as it did to get here, I think we'll be okay!", Patsy encouraged.

"Yeah, so long as Queen Snickerdoodle the whatever doesn't whip out that Cook Book.", von Pop grumbled.

Once again, a swift night's sleep, and they were back at Caine. Unfortunately, Queen Snickerdoodle was there at the docks waiting for them.

"Hmm, leaving for a whole day without authorization. Suspicious, is it not?", the cookie chuckled darkly.

"On the contrary," the Baroness began, "we were actually out to bring you a gift! Here, in these containers, is freshly made honey that we had so graciously gathered for Her Highness.".

"I'll be the judge of that!", the Queen huffed, marching onto the boat and flipping open the lids on the containers, to reveal the jars of honey. Still skeptical, the Queen unscrewed a jar and dipped her whole hand into the jar, scoopong out as much honey as she could in her hand before shoving it into her mouth. Surprised, her eyes flew open, and she began to greedily devour the contents of the jar.

"Mm! My goodness, what flavor! The taste, it dances on my tounge like sugarplums in my dreams!", the Queen exclaimed.

"Now, what was that about being suspicious?", Muffsky asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Suspicious? It's a gift, what's so suspicious about it? Now, get all of this honey into the castle at once!", Queen Hershey commanded, giggling.

"Yes, your majesty! Come on, boys, you heard the woman! Get the honey into the castle!", Taffipullé ordered, breathing a sigh of relief.

Now months after the honey was stocked in the castle, the subjects of Caine had very well noticed the change in the queen's demeanor. No one was put to execution, the main sign, and there was mirth and merriment even when no one had come to visit. The thing was, no one particularly cared to let her know that she was acting differently. If anything, it was a lovely change, one that was unanimously welcomed by subjects. Well, almost unanimously.

"I'm telling ya, there's something up with Queen Hershey Snickerdoodle VIII. Snickerdoodles have a violent streak, there's no reason for her to be any different.".

"Lord Layerbarré, you're being ridiculous. Not every cookie has to be like their mother or father before them.", Baroness von Bon Bon remarked.

"Seven Snickerdoodles, and this one just up and changes. There's some foul play here, Baroness von Bon Bon. I ought to figure it out. Imagine the praise I would get, for something like that!", Lord Layerbarré grinned.

"And put Caine back into who knows how many more years of suffering? Lord Layerbarré, I've never heard of such a greedy proposition!", Baroness von Bon Bon scolded.

"I guess you're right...but that won't stop me from looking. I'm serious, Baroness von Bon Bon, I'd be crazy enough to say that foreign magics are at work, and you know that the number one rule in Caine is-"

"No foreign magics are allowed to be at work in Caine, especially in royal affairs, unless given special permissions by His or Her Highness themselves.", Baroness von Bon Bon recited, annoyed.

"Precisely. Maybe it's in that honey that she loves so much. The supply you bring in, Baroness. Of course, you wouldn't pull a life ending stunt like that would you?"

"I-"

"Of course not! You're a von Bon Bon!", Lord Layerbarré laughed boisterously, before asking, "Where do you even get that honey from, anyway?".

"From a friend on an Isle that I'm telling you nothing about.", Baroness von Bon Bon snapped back.

"Oh really? Then how can we really trust that the honey is clean?", Lord Layerbarré interrogated, pointing a finger in Taffipullé's face.

"You're speaking blasphemy-"

"Oh, I am? I bet you haven't even done an inspection on the honey! In fact, you yourself may have ordered to have the honey enchanted!".

"Lord Layerbarré, I never!".

"Forget it, von Bon Bon! I shall expose your dastardly plans!", Lord Layerbarré cried out, dashing down the royal castle halls.

For a moment, Baroness von Bon Bon stood there dumbfounded. Would that lemon really disturb the peace of the kingdom just for his own gain?

Yes.

Absolutely.

No doubt about it.

Without fail, the Baroness had made her way out of the royal castle and headed to Whippet Creampup.

"Gob Packer, von Pop, Chernikov, Gumbull, Waffington, Menthol!! We may be knee deep in trouble. We must leave the kingdom at once!", she whisper cried.

"What?! After all this time, she finds out about the honey?", Sir Waffington gasped.

"No, but that motormouth, Lord Lemonseed Layerbarré, is on to me. He's blabbing to the Queen as we speak.", Baroness von Bon Bon groaned.

"Just what we needed. Is Whippet going to swim us away?", Lord Gob Packer asked, worried.

"It seems so.", Taffipullé sighed.

Shaking her head, she made her way to the top of Whippet. With a crack of her knuckles, she pulled his turrets until he had awoken with a whimper.

"Whippet, I know how much you hate getting wet and all, but, I need you to swim as far away as...actually...could you swim to Inkwell Isle?".

Giving a growl of confirmation, Whippet began dashing through the streets of the kingdom, until he, regrettibly, leapt into the water and began swimming away.

"Queen Snickerdoodle the Eighth! Queen Snickerdoodle the Eighth! I'm telling you now," Lord Layerbarré took a deep breath as he burst into the throne room, where the Queen and her guards were merrily eating cake, before screeching, "DON'T EAT THAT ...cake?".

"Huh? It's a very nice cake, yes... but wasting food is so unsanitary! It is a pretty cake, though. Should we eat it? Um...here, guards, fetch Lord Layerbarré a slice.", the Queen stuttered.

"Oh, thank you, your Highness, I- wait, that's not why I'm here! Queen Hershey, I request a jar of your fine honey.", Lord Layerbarré inquired.

"Very well then. Here, a jar. Whatever are you to do with it? ", the Queen asked, wide eyed.

"Behold, a vial of magic detecter! With this, I-"

"Wherever did you get that from? Have you been taking lessons?", the Queen asked, cheerily.

"Well, yes, but...oh nevermind, just look!".

Popping the lid off of the honey and the vial, Lord Layerbarré had mixed one with the other, causing the honey to change from it's rich yellow to a bright pink.

"WHAT?! I'VE BEEN POISONED?!", the Queen roared.

"Yes, and by the exact supply that Baroness von Bon Bon brings in! I believe this calls for the nesissary beheading punishment, don't you?", Lord Layerbarré boasted.

"NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!! GUARDS, MY AXE!!", the Queen shouted.

Immediately, the guards had dashed out and brought the Queen a shiny, sharp axe, decorated to perfection, with the sweetest candy cane handle.

"Ooh, nice choice.", Lord Layerbarré commented with a grin.

"Yes, isn't it? Oh, but I'm severely out of practice with an axe. Lord Layerbarré could you stand there a moment?", the Queen implored.

"Well, anything for her High-"

Unexpectedly, Lord Layerbarré's head was chopped off in one swoop of the axe. Hosting an evil grimace, Queen Snickerdoodle swung the axe a few more times, revilling in the chunks of flesh she chopped from the former lord's body, striking a final blow down the exact middle of his body.

"Haha! I've still got it in me! Screw this poison, I'm a dammed Snickerdoodle! Guards, I want you to search high and low for the von Bon Bons. I want you to capture them and bring them to the killing square, and I want you to execute them on the spot. Not Taffipullé, though. I shall have that privy to me.", the Queen commanded.

"Now go, or you'll be like Lord Loose Lips.".

Now, a decade later, the Baroness and her cohorts were living well on Inkwell Isle. They had made a home in the carnival, where the Baroness had befriended Beppi and Djimmi, and had practically became their sister. While there, she had met the Elder Kettle who lived in the forest across from the Narcissistic Goopy and the more or less genocidal Cagney. From then on, she had gone to see plays, and rode the Inkwell Express, and even become a carnival worker herself, giving sweets to the little children that were polite enough to ask for one. It was a nice life, indeed, and there was never a boring moment with all of the magics about, in the sea and sky. She had even had a 'thing' with Rumor, as Beppi and Djimmi put it. When the Express had crashed, however, things began to go downhill...no pun intended.

There was the whole Devil's casino to deal with, and now the death of close friends. There wasn't anything that could make matters worse. At least, not that she could think of. The day after the upsetting crash, there was a knock on Whippet's door.

"Yes? Who is there?", the Baroness asked, heading to check the door.

"Are you Baroness von Bon Bon?"

"Yes, this is she. If you don't mind, I am greiving at the moment so...oh my berries.".

"We are the Royal Guard of Caine. We've been looking for you for a long time, by orders of Queen Snickerdoodle the Eighth. You're coming with us.".

Forcefully, the guards had apprehended the Baroness, dragging her away from the castle. A confused Beppi had come out to ask,"Taffipullé? What's going on?".

The only thing the Baroness could say was, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner!", before being gagged.

Speechless, Beppi began pulling at the guards trying to get them to let go.

"Hey, buddy, if you don't want to get beheaded, then I assume you let go!", a guard threatened.

"Beheaded?", Beppi inquired, before being knocked out by the same guard.

"Hurry it up boys. This place is itching with foreign magics.", the guard sneered.

Baroness Taffipullé von Bon Bon had came back to the kingdom of Caine in chains and shackles. The place had changed most definately in the ten years she was gone. The air was thick with smoke from fire, the aura was dark and heavy. There was a wall built around the kingdom, now cracked. All around , the remaining citizens were running from the patrolling guards, who were pulling arrows to fire into innocents. It was nothing like Inkwell. It was horrible, almost apocolyptic. Taffipullé couldn't even look at the subjects, she knew they were blaming all the pain and horror on her. Her head remained hung until she was forced into the killing square.

"Baroness Taffipullé von Bon Bon, at last. I admit, for a moment, I almost gave up searching for you. Almost. Look around. Your family is here to watch your death.", the Queen hissed.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, the Baroness looked up and around the square, feeling more pain as she saw the skeletons of her family scattered helplessly around.

"All of them are dead, from your great-grandmother, to your baby cousins. Thanks to you. Now, I shall execute you, by a simple beheading. Isn't it sad, how your death will be quick compared to the suffering your family has endured? ".

"Just do it already...", the Baroness whispered through tears.

"Oh, an eager beaver, hmm? Bring her to the middle.".

With a bit more force, the guards pushed her toward the middle of the square. Menacingly, the Queen held the axe in her hands, making her way forward to the Baroness. Giving her most horrible grin, the Queen prodded the Baroness with the end of the axe's handle.

"Any last words, Taffipullé?", she asked coldly.

"Yes. Burn in Hell.".

"In due time...".

As the Queen raised the axe, the Baroness closed her eyes tightly, fearing the worst. When the blade had hit, slicing through her neck, she thought she was dead. The only problem, was that she wasn't. A collection of gasps erupted around her, including one from the queen, who dropped her axe in surprise.

"She! Without her head! What kind of magics...you...it's as if you're a shell...soulless monster!".

Dizzy, the Baroness stood up, or rather, her body. Feeling a new sensation, the Baroness placed her head back upon her shoulders, then took hold of the axe.

"Once again, burn in Hell!", the Baroness hissed, slaying the Queen then and there.

"Hellbeast! Monster! Please, spare us!", the crowd cried.

"There is only one thing I want. Guards, take me back to Inkwell Isle at once.", Baroness von Bon Bon commanded.

"But-".

With a frightening yell, the Baroness swung the axe until the blade broke off, leaving the candy cane handle.

"I'll go back myself...", the Baroness seethed, a haunting yellow in her eyes.

The entire crowd watched as the Baroness headed back to the docks, simply taking off her head when she entered the water.

Worn with water, holding her head in one hand and the candy cane handle in another, the Baroness crawled onto Inkwell Isle, intent on heading back to Whippet to find out what exactly happened.

"I swear, we didn't mean you any harm! You see, we heard about your, eugh...beheading, and we didn't want you to die for something you did, with our abetting, a decade ago, so we looked high and low for someone, anyone, to help!", Sir Waffington explained, nudging Lord Gob Packer.

"Indubidubly, and we had found someone willing to help, on the third part of Isle, a dapper man in a purple suit. We told him of our plight, and he offered a solution!", Gob continued, before signalling Sargent Gumbull.

"Yep, he stated that if we signed your name on his contract in time, you'd be safe! And you are...somewhat.", Gumbull concluded.

"I lost my head, died for a second, then came back and went on a killing spree. They called me a Hellbeast and a Monster. What was that contract you signed?", the Baroness asked, staring her subjects down.

"Look, it's right here.", Gumbull said shakily, handing her the contract.

The Baroness read for a moment, before her eyes welled up.

"This is marked for my soul...to save me...you gave up...my soul...they were right...I am a Hellbeast...".

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ageismgood · 5 years

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Why are birthdays celebrated especially for young children? I feel like as kids u cant wait to grow up but once u are and adult u see how fucking pointless and time consuming everything is. Its funny because when i was a kid all i wanted to do was play video games instead of going to gymnastics pamractice but now that i am an adult i findmyself thinking about all the missed opprotunities and not doing gymnastics more then anything. If my gym wasnt 40 mins away id probably be training again but i feel like i am imposing on my coach in some way especially if i was there often. Thatd be a pretty cool place to work if i didnt ha e to deal with cunt children that arent mine. Other peoples kids r the worst. Always so terrible and misbehaved. I decked this 6 year old into a shelf when i was 12-13 at a gymnastics competetion because he was kicking me and my friends. I told the little cunt if he didnt stop i would drop his ass i wonder if that little fuck remembers that. Other kid just ruin everything though really. There were two types of people that did gymnastics as kids or even young adults. U have me and my friends who were on the usag team trained 20-25 hours a week and had little to no childhood or free time besides gymnastics . And then u had the cunts who came to classes once a week and did rolls off of a cheese mat and told their family that they were gymnasts. Theres also losers that do tumbling which is just unscored, unclean sloppy floor routine. So much memories with raf and pasha lifelong ones ill never forget i hope in the future the three of us can be as close as we once were. We all just live seperate lives no and dont live close to one another. Gymnastics brough us together every week, and wed hang out every weekend. Id break a bone at least once a year doing some stupid shit with them or skateboarding. How do u go ur whole like without breaking a bone? Do u take no risks? Giant pussy? Ironically i never broke one doing gymnastics. To talented for that..... growing up sucks though for real u slowly fade into the basic life of every other adult and u reallize u failed to utilize the time of ur childhood. I achieved a bunch in gymnastics but all of highschool was just wasted. Occasinally going out with people i thought were good people but they were all just cunts. Cant even remember the three soerate time i asked them to go to blink concert with me cause they soebd their entire day smoking weed and chesting on their girlfriends

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kpop-drabble · 7 years

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SEVENTEEN AS DADS

Vernon - The “Cool” Dad - always attempting to be your friend more than a father figure, attempts to get their child to spill the latest ‘gosp’ - “dad what the hell is gosp” “its teenage lingo for gossip, i keep up with you youngsters” - cue eye rolling - he’s incredibly chill about nearly everything and allows them to do whatevee they want, for the most part. - the only restriction is that it can’t be illegal - and if it is he told them to lie about who their father was. - all their friends are jealous over how ‘cool’ of a dad their have, no matter how many times they tell them how uncool he truly is he has everyone tricked that he’s some super dad

Soonyoung - The Embarrassing Dad - insists on making their kids lunch one time and puts an embarrassing “have a good day love you -Dad” in the bag without warning. - all their friends cooed and haven’t let them live it down since. - he’s the type to make embarrassingly bad dad jokes when talking to others and then looks over at their kid for a reaction - a pitiful thumbs up and embarrassed smile is the best kind of reaction that he’s looking for - constantly trying to talk to their kids friends when they’re over - “why doesn’t that one friend come over anymore?” “because you broke out the baby pictures last time and i would rather not relive your hour ling stories about the past, and neither would she”

Seungkwan - The emotional dad - constantly crying - oh my god their kids have never seen a grown man cry so much in their lives - always reminiscing about their kids past and getting emotional about how big they’ve gotten - at every graduation that the child has lives through theres always friends that make comment about his screaming once you get on stage - every picture you have to commemorate this moment has a very red eyed blotchy faced Seungkwan, their child always looks less than impressed. - it’s nice to have a dad so passionate about their child but sometimes you just need someone that wont cry because you’ve made your first purchase with your own money that you made from your first job

Seokmin - The Scrapbooking Dad - always insisting on taking pictures - it doesnt matter the occasion, it doesn’t matter how relevant any of it is, he wants a picture and he wants it now. - his kids could make those “365 pictures throughout the year” collage videos you find on the internet dating back to their toddler years just from how many pictures Seokmin had taken. - he has a bookcase full of scrapbooks hes made - he takes the time to decorate them, with pretty stickers and dates each picture with a short description of each. - its not just a picture book, its a life story showcasing every little insignificant thing that his kids have accomplished since birth. - “dad, can we please take that picture of me on the potty off?” “no, its the first time you took a shit and i didn’t have to clean a diaper, it’s staying for memory sake”

Seungcheol - Over protective dad - they cab only have a phone because he insists on using the find your friends app when his kids go out just to make sure that if anything happens he could always find their kid and help out - if they’re one minute past curfew expect said phone to be blown up with questions about where they are. - “you were suppose to be home at 10:00 its now 10:02, i checked traffic and it is light so there isnt any excuse” - is protective and inforces his rules but isn’t terribly rude and would never actually punish his kids (he’s too soft, but ultimatey just wants the best for them) - interogates any significant other that their child brings home, and as they protest in embarassment he simply says hes making sure to rule out any one not worthy of their time. - always has their best interests in mind though they may not realize it until they’re much older - probably has a bat near his bed so if needed he could protect them from anything and anyone who trys to hurt their kid

Jeonghan - The Charming Dad - all their kids friends are completely endeared by him - they’ve heard the word DILF to describe him one too many times that its starting to take some effect on their mental wellbeing - he’s able to talk himself out of many things and their kids have had to sit by idly as they watched their dad talk up another worker to attempt to get some sort of discount - probably has pictures of the family around the house solely to show off how attractive all of them are when guest comes over - he’s ultimately very proud of how beautiful his family has come out, and wants the world to know about how absurdly beautiful they are compared to other families. - its not opinion its Fact.

Jihoon - Passive but Encouraging Dad - not very good at showing how much they love their kids but try their very hardest without having to say directly that he loves them - shows he cares by encouraging their dreams and never tries to hold them back from their dreams - he may not be very involved in their kids lifes but when they come to him with something they claim to be passionate about he’s suddenly #1 dad. - he’ll always be the first to encourage them to chase after whatever they want - and even if they drop it after a couple weeks because it wasn’t exactly the right fit Jihoon will accept it and continue to support them through any other projects they wished to pursue. - their kids know that he loves them through those kind of actions.

Mingyu - The Expirmentive Dad - always trying out new recipes for dinner - his kids have started becoming wary after the his few failed attempts and know to prepare something to eat afterwards just incase his experiment doesnt work out in his favour - never follows a reciepe - “dad it said a tea spoon not a cup” “it’s better this way, just trust me.” - it was not better this way. - he tries his very hardest to make good dishes for his family and sometimes they actually turn out decent. - and when they dont, no matter if mingyu himself knows it wasn’t the best, his kids say it was good while only eating a couple bites of it - he’s grateful that they eat the prepared foods somewhere that hes not (sometimes he goes to their room and they share their snacks with him, but thats only when he’s failed terribly and hes gone desperate)

Chan - The Involved dad - Their child is apart of a school club? he’ll be apart of it just as much. - “Do you guys want me to make snacks?” “Dad its not necessary-” “i’ll pack snacks.” - always insists on going to parent teacher night to talk with each of their kids teacher one on one, he doesnt do it because he thinks his kids are miss behaving just solely for the opprotunity to be apart of their kids lifes just that much more - was their kids soccer couch for most of their junior soccer days, but when their kids approached them about joining a different team he unwillingly allowed them to do so to allow them to be happy - he still attenda each game and became the most embarrassing side line dad at the game - “signs are necessary” chan ignores their kids as he pours another large amount of glitter onto the atrocious sign with his kids name and number on it.

Junhui - The Teasing Dad - constantly making jokes about their kid, it mostly happens when they have friends over or when theyre at a family get together - some how always managing to make their child the center of attention at the family dinners, each family member taking turns to tease his kid. - he definitely does not attempt to stop it because he was the one that started it and seeing his kids get all embarrassed is kind of a highlight to being a father. - Is probably always trying to get a hug or affection from their child especially when friends are around just to embarrass them that much more - He doesn’t mind being rejected in front of all their friends when he goes in for a hug, because the embarrassed hiden smile that his kid has when they turn back to apologize to their friend is enough of a reward

Jisoo - The Overly-Loving Father - he’s wanted to be a dad since he was a child and now that he’s able to do so he doesnt waste any opprotunity to remind his kid about how much he loves them - sometimes he shows his love in materialistic manners - he buys they loads of gifts for every special occasion and still insists on making them do an easter chocolate egg hunt well into their teenage years - he gets really creative when it comes to things like this so their child doesnt really mind, the chocolate is always a bonus - is always trying to get family outings to be a thing and his favourite holiday is family day. Definitely family day because he can use it as an excuse to force his kids to spend time with him.

Wonwoo - The helpful dad - the stereotype that dads are suppose to be good at physical labour such as fixing cars and doing sports falls short when it comes to wonwoo - he couldn’t necessarily fix their car if they asked him to but he could help them ace their physics exam - and if they didn’t wish to read a book that was assigned for english, he’s probably already read it front to back more than once and is more than willing to help them out - he’s not too anal about good grades but encourages them to try their hardest - they’ve probably had to sit through a small half hearted lecture about genuinely putting their best into things when Wonwoo feels like their grades are slipping

Minghao - The “I didn’t sign up for this” Dad - never really meant to become a dad but it ??? sort of happened and he enjoys it he just was never ready to become one - therefore he really doesn’t know what to do. - during toddler years he’d make any excuse not to be alone with the baby for too long, too frighten that he’d mess it up so severly that he usually calls over his mom to help out - he’s gotten better over the years but still doesn’t properly know how to dad - tries more to be a friend than a dad - whenever their child is in trouble, lets the other parent do the scolding and then retreats up to their childs bedroom with a bowl of icecream to try and make amends better. -he’s sort of getting the hang of things but their kids highly doubt he ever fully will know what being a parent consists of. - but thats okay, he’s trying his very best.

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Top 10 Thanksgiving Episodes

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody! Time to eat a ton, pass out, and watch MST3K and all that. And since I already covered most of the general stuff about how diffrent this holiday is in my Loud House Review, and to reitarate to anyone having a big, 20 or so people crammed in a room thanksgiving this year

For the rest of us like all of the big three of Holidays, thanksgivings also the time for some classic episodes of television. Granted most shows stick to one, with some exceptions like friends, roseanne and new girl, but most make their one count. Thanksgiving may not be as big as the holidays it’s sandwitched in between, to the point christmas is slowly but surely trying to swallow it whole, but it’s still a time for family, fighting, and food that brings plenty of opprotunity for greatness and even with a smaller pool, I stiill had signifigant trouble narrowing down my list to 10. But I stand by what I got it wittled down to. This is my top 10 thanksgiving episodes! And for my regular readers, there’s a suprising lack of animation but i’m more than willing ot go outside that and now’s the right time, asi’m currently having a black friday sale with reviews marked down by two bucks to just 3 dollars for an episode of any tv show. Yes it’s a shameless plug but since when have I ever had shame? So with that in mind let’s chow down, it’s my top 10 thanksgiving episodes!

10. Pangs (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Buffy is as a show I REALLY need to revisit. While lately, what with the abuse he did that we can’t get details on when making justice league or his you know cheating on his wife on and off over a decade, I’m not at all a fan of series creator Joss Whedon, Buffy itself is still a classic in my eyes.

The tale of a teenager given the role of the Slayer, a chosen female asskicker given moderate super powers and the duty to defend the world from vampires and other ghouls. The show dealt with the usual teen superhero stuff, ballancing asskicking with saving the world and arguably codified the genre, to the point I hold it at least partially responsible for the bigger wave of teen heroes in the 2000′s in animation and comics. The show had smart dialouge, metaphors, mythology and a rich, and vibrant cast. Sure some things haven’t aged well like an adult vampire dating a teenager or the really dated ways Willow’s sexuality were handled, as groundbreaking as it was, from barely letting her kiss her girlfriend or be shown being intimate iwth her, or just entirley shutting out the posiblity she’s bisexual. But a few age wrinkles aside the show is still good and I still need to rewatch it and that includes our number 10 pangs, one of hte most memorable and well done thanksgiving specials and one fo the shows more comedy moments. It’s thanksgiving, and Buffys mom’s going out of town, so she decides to hold thanksgiving at Giles place to bring her slowly drifting surrogate family together. Naturally given the way things usually go for our Slayer, she has a hard time of it as Willow chafes at celebrating colonolsim, Giles dosen’t get what the big fuss is about that or the meal being british, and Spike shows up looking for protection from season big bads the initiative, a secret military unit that’s chipped him so he can’t harm humans, so he has no way to eat and spends the mal tied to a chair. Oh and of course, a vengeful native american spriti from the chumash tribe has given Xander syphilis and killed a currator as revenge for his people’s suffering, so now Buffy has to fight a ghost bear if she want sa happy thanksgiving. Also Angel is back in town and being kind of a dick, but hey it leads to a good episode of his spinoff so whatever.

Pangs is just a fun episode, not only does it do well by not ignoring american colonalisim, but it just has a fun energy to it as Buffy desperately tries to have a good thanksgiving, Spike instnatly proves his worth as an addition to the gang both chemstiry and comedy wise, and we of course get this classic moment.

It had to fight it’s way onto the list, but pangs is a holiday dish worthy of sinking your fangs into.

9. The Dressing (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) Speaking of nutty fun thanksgiving episodes.. this one is simply that. I love Aqua Teen Hunger force.. even if like a lot of comedy shows it drooped in later seasons, it still has it’s classics earlier on and even later on has a few gems. But on the earlier on side we have their utterly bonkers and delightful thanksgiving episode “The Dressing”, a sequel to the Christmas Episode “The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from The Future”, which itself is an utter classic, but we’ll possibly get to that in december’s list.

The Aqua Teens are having Thanksgiving with Carl, whose naturally onlyt here for the free food and staying outside. it’s also days before or after, with black colored frito pie,a t urkey, and whatever else their broke selves could scrounge up. However, naturally, like Buffy a normal day for the Aqua Teens just isn’t complete without some weird shit happening, thanksgiving gets interrupted by the cybernetic ghost of Christmas past fromt he future, whose transformed himself into a turkey and wants to save their turkey so it can lead a rebellion in the bizzare hilarious distopian hellscape he comes from. This of course leads to him getting drunk, eating all their food and later showing up with a laser sock to murder carl after the episodes over. It’s just a fun time, a really funny episode and one of the teens more memorable outings. Not a lot to say here, it’s just really damn funny.

8. Arnold’s Thanksgiving (Hey Arnold!) Anoter classic I really need to revist but that more than earns his place here. Hey Arnold.. is easily one of the best animated shows ever. I say that with no hyperbole as it handled slice of life well while still getting dramatic when needed to, and is easily the gold standard for slice of life children’s cartoons to this day. And naturally it’s holiday specials were great, and I only r eally haven’t revisited them because they also hurt.. a lot. So unsuprisingly this one makes the list.

IT’s thanksgiving and given how chaotic things are for both Arnold and Helga’s families, our heroes are miserable. Arnold would understandably like just once to have thanksgiving on thanksgiving, his family instead doing fourth of july due to his grandmother being who she is. And Helga naturally is ignored and mistrteated as usual since her sisters home and her dad and alchoholic mother ignore her as usual even when she’s not around. What i’m saying is while Arnold’s issue is understandable, helga always wins a “whose got the shitter life” contest.

So the two flee to their teacher Mr Simmons, a character I genuinely loved and loved even more finding out he was gay as an adult, as he was a kind , supportive teacher who could be a bit softhearted but wasn’t afraid to step the fuck up when needed. But they find his thanksgiving isn’t much better, as his Mother and wont’ stop sniping at his boyfriend peter and clearly isn’t entirely comfortable with her son’s sexuality, his friend keeps snapping at peter and mooching off him, and his uncle.. well he’s just a loud asshole who wants turkey.. The kids naturally realize the meaning of the holiday, reconclie with their families who DID take genuine steps to make up for them being gone and missed them, all is well. It just shows nobody’s family is perfect, and is well done in that but also shows why thanksgiving has grown beyond it’s roots: It’s a day for families to get together and even if they may fight, recognize why they love one another. I also give the show balls for heavily imiplying a character is gay and not slapping a girlfriend on him or any of the usual bollocks: Simmons just very clearly is gay and it’s as transparent as the show could get at the time, with the show making it crystal clear years later with the revivial movie. Nice. We’ll have more servings of thanksgiving classics after the cut.

7. Slapsgiving (How I Met Your Mother) Oh How I Met Your Mother. You started out really good but boy did that go downhill fast and land in a nuclear inferno didn’t it? But I can bitch about the How I Met Your Mother Ending some other time, and probably will. In the show’s prime before they decided to stick with an ending no one wanted anymore, it was pretty great and while season 1′s also impressive Thanksgiving outing “Belly Full of Turkey” was considered, there was ultimately one slaptastic king when it came to Thanksgiving: Slapsgiving.

Naturally for this show Slapsgiving ties into the show’s suprisngly deep and rich lore: The season before this, Marshall and Barney made a “Slap Bet”, which is exactly what it says on the tin: A bet where the winner slaps the looser. And due to Barney prematurely slapping Marshall, Marshall got 5 penalty slaps to be dolled out whenever, one in that episode and another in a coda to another. For his next one though Marshall decided to outdo himself and set up a counter.. and it all comes down to thanskgiving. So we get a good ten minutes of Jason Siegel making meancing slap based refrences while NPH’s barney cowers in fear before Marshall’s wife lily pumps the breaks on the bet as comissoner.. only to reconsider when Barney makes the mistake of tormenting Marshall over it, resuling in the inevitible, and in THE thanksgiving song.

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Basically it’s what happen when you give three really funny people a subplot together. Magic happens. The subplot is not bad either as a pre-totallyinsufferabledouchebag Ted hooks up with Robin again over lingering feelings and thanksgiving prep and the two have to deal with that... though it’s mostly funny for Robin’s new boyfriend, who Future Ted acknowledges is barely older than them, but admits to remembering as decrept old man, which results in a 30 something’s dialouge coming out of a very old man and me laughing very hard. A simple joke but one that really works. Overall a slaptacular good time.

6. Two Turkeys (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

NINE NINE BITCHES! I’m honestly shocked I haven’t talked about Brooklyn Nine Nine on here already, but it’s easily one of the best sitcoms in recent memory, if not of all time. It has one of the best ensemble casts, great jokes and timing, yet still ballances things out with a sense of realisim beneath the madness> It’s also noticable for holding it’s officers more accountable than most real world police departments, to the point all scripts that were written up for next season were thrown out post George Floyd. It’s truly a joy to watch.

So naturally they’ve had their share of Holiday episodes, with them easily having the best crop of halloween episodes since roseanne with their annual heists, and having some pretty damn memorable christmases, opening with this:

So naturally thanksgiving is no exception, with it’s last two being the best and it being a really hard choice wether to go with season 4′s “Detective Santiago” or this one. But as good as the other ep was.. this one inched it out for good reason.

The episode’s split into two equally good, equally hilarious plot lines. In the B-Plot, the 99′s Captain Raymond Holt, one of the best characters in sitcom history and gay icon, and his husband Kevin take their annual trip to get a pie for Holt’s families thanksgiving and come back with the well crafted pie, even if both prefer their food nice and bland. But the pie go missing and Captain Holt procedes to hilariously drill into each of the other members of the 99 and uncovering holes int their previous thanksgving stories with Rosa’s being suprisingly heartwarming (She’s going to a humilating minons on ice show with her family because they reconnected in jail.. setting up the equally awesome “Game Night” episode where she comes out.) and Boyle’s being utterly pathetic as you’d expect (Cooking his son mac and cheese because he’ll eat nothing else and declaring him a “basic bitch”). The solution however ends up being heartwarming as the culprit is actually Kevin, who hated the pie.. as did Raymond who suggests just taking the drive anyway because they enjoy the silent ride there and back every year. It may be boring to us.. but it’s preicious and really sweet all the same.. as it is hilarous when Kevin treats this as a big endugence and seems turned on by that. What i’m saying is these men are couple goals and Marc Evan Jakcson was awesome long before ducktlaes. The main plot is also great, as Jake and Amy, now engaged after this year’s halloween episode which is also , coincidentally, the series best, try to unite their families. It just goes about as well as you’d expect as Amy’s are type a control freaks, jake’s mom is a retired hippie school teacher and his dad is a human disaster area who has to be told to put on pants, cheated on his mom constantly, somehow got her back, and in general is barely functional on a good day. The families do bond breifly but things ineveitbly break down, hilarity and severed limbs insue and family comes together. IT’s just a funny, well done 20 mintues that’s also really damn sweet, with this plot ending with Amy’s dad accepting the chaos as that’s’ts what you do with family. Also jake naturally finds out he has a ton of step siblings as his dad was and still is a man whore. Happy Thanksgiving!

5. Bart Vs Thanksgiving (The SImpsons)

Let’s face it: if you follow my reviews at all you knew this was coming. While not one I go back to due to being an emotional kidney punch, i’d be doing this list a diservice if this classic wasn’t on there. In a nutshell, Bart starts a petty fight with Lisa over her centerpiece that ends with it in the fireplace, Bart sent to his room till he apologizes, and Bart seething insiting he did no wrong. It takes a visit to the homeless shelter after running away, and ending up on the news, to realize what an ass he’s been and one nightmarish dream sequence later, seriously why do you think I don’t revisit this one that often? This thing has traumatized me since I was a kid and unlike the slap song I will not be showing it to you, has a heartwarming reconcliation with his sister on the roof. It’s just a nice, sweet special that gets the holiday just right and i’d expect nothing less from Golden Age Simpsons.

4. A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving (Gilmore Girls) Another show I need to talk about more, Gilmore Girls is fucking awesome. The story of a woman who ran away pregnant at age 16 and built her own life for her daughter in the quirky town of stars hollow who finds herself reconnecting with her parents in present day against her will.. is really good stuff. Funny, heartfelt and really damn well acted with one hell of a cast, the show is part of me and I make no bones about that, so it’s big thanksgiving outing naturally belongs on here. The premise is simple: Rory and Loreli end up having to go to four diffrent thanksgivings, which even for big eaters like them is a massive task, each unique and entertaining. The main event of course is Suki’s, where everyone’s faviorite chef agreed to let her husband cook the turkey.. of course with the plan to sneak in mid cooking and add her own touches. This gets foiled when Jackson and his family decide to deep fry the thing.. probably in part because Jackson knows his wife well and knows what she was planning. Though over the night while our heroines are at their other meals, it devolves into them deepfrying everything they can get their hand son including a shoe, and Suki getting plastered to tolerate it. While not topping it the other meals and the sheer lunacy of four thanksigvings in one day, are still memorable: There’s the natural posh one at Richards and Emilys, the dour joyless one at The Kims where Mrs Kim forces the band to play the whole time and forces our heroines to eat food as joyless as Mrs. Kim, and Lukes for a nice round of Rory grappling with having PDA with her boyfirend Jess before resolving it at the end. Also dean’s a jackass. No one is suprised. Jess isn’t one at this stage in his character which is. Also Kirk adopts a cat that slowly pushes him out of his own house which works comedically becaus Sean Gunn is a national treasure. Overall a really good episode and if you have netflix and haven’t checked the series out, this is a good one to try out.

3. The Thanksgiving Special (Regular Show) I already talked about this one in my top 11 Regular Show episodes so i’ll try to be brief. In a nutshell Mordecai and Rigby destroy thanksgiving and genuinelly feeling bad about it, scramble to win a thanksgiving bird from a Thanksgiving Song Contest, going up against an all star super group comissioned by Donald Trump. Yes really. Meanwhile Muscle Man and High Five Ghost go to get sides and the rest of the park staff’s attemtps to get a turkey are thwarted by a bunch of thanksgiving reinactors who go unexplained in any way shape or form which given how rare that is for regular show, which usually has some sort of explination for the madness, just makes it funnier. It ends with a REALLY touching song, a fight on a blimp with outgoing president trump, and a truly heartwarming thanksgiving meal. All in all a nice special that combines the shows madcap nature with the genuine warm fuzzies of thanksgiving.

2. We Gather Together (Roseanne) Another series I need to talk about more.. and another series where one of the creators has turned out to be a terrible human being. Seriously Roseanne Barr is is a terible person, she deserved to be removed from her show, and while the Conner’s isn’t GREAT it’s still FAR better without her. That being said I will still stick up for the original as she wasn’t the only one involved (indeed the aformentioned Joss Whedon worked on the show breifly and Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman Paladino not only worked there but later adapted one of Roseanne’s insane antics, making all the writers wear caps with a number instead of referring to them by name , to Gilmore Girls.). Her being a bad person even then dosen’t change the fact that the show is sitcom gold, one of my faviorite shows, and a true classic. And this episode helps showcase WHY.

What makes this episode special, even among Roseanne episodes is it’s structure: While there are things going on it’s mostly a free floating day in the Families life and thus feels like your there with them through thanksgiving. It feels genuine, like past thanksgivings i’ve remembered: Everyone has their own stuff going on, they all eat, and there’s naturally a big blowup.. and one that eveyrone else ignores to eat which I can relate to. That authenticity really elevates the episode and is why I seek it out every year.

That’s not to say nothing happens, it just flows in and out like it would in a normal thanksgiving. Roseanne deals with her parents, a pre-abuser version of her dad and her overbearing nightmare of a mother beverly, and the inevetible blow up when Bev’s needling about Jackie’s life goes too far , prompting Jackie to reveal her new job as a police officer before bursting into tears, all to Roseanne’s annoyance. Rosie also moves them to a hotel despite an attempted guilt trip from her mom.

Speaking of Mom’s we see Dan’s for the only time before the later seasons and the utterly terrible last season, a professional career woman whose moved on well from her ex and brought her new boyfriend there. Ed, despite some comptemplation over it is firmly accepting and instead starts flirting with the Conner’s friend Crystal. Dan, being overprotective because of his Daddy Issues, but ed cals him out on it “Being lonely is a hell of a lot for two people to have in common, you woudln’t knwo anything abotu that son, and I pray to god you never do” A great caper to a fantastic episode.. one I thought was going to top the list... THOUGHT is the key word here...

1. Turkey in A Can (Bob’s Burgers) This one is. Bob’s Burgers is one of the best things to come out of the 2010′s and i’ve fallen way too far behind on it, so I can’t say if any thanksgivings after thankshoarding top this one.. what I can say is this one is the gold standard for thanksgiving episodes, and is filled with great stuffing.

Thanksgiving is Bob’s holiday. Being a chef he loves the chance to go all out, and really flex his muscles for his families when it comes to cooking up a storm, and it’s endearing when bob gets just as nuts as his family. But this year someone keeps flushing his turkeys down the toilet despite his best efforts, so while Louise hilariously tries to solve things to proe it wasn’t her (though it’s entirely fair they thought it was her consdering.. everything), while LInda, Gene and LInda’s flighty sister Gale try to write THE thanksgiving song. And while it’s no you just got slapped, damn if they didn’t succeed.

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Sailors in your mouth indeed. It leads to plenty of great jokes the best being the guy at the Deli Counter thinking Bob’s into him and bob not being sure how to respond, but being mildly recpetive. But the climax is what makes the episode as when Bob falls asleep we find his medication has been making him sleepwalk.. and thus put the turkey s int he toilet, as Tina’s desire to be at the Grown Up Table, itslef a REALLY funny runner as you’d expect, has him panicking internally and thus reliving her potty training. The episode ends with Bob letting her come to the adults table, and a rather heartwarming thanksgiving feast. All in all an excellent episode. It also leads to the chaos seen above whic hif htat’s not thanksgiving, I don’t know what is.

Have a happy thanksgiving and check out my black friday sale! Until then there’s always another rainbow!

#thanksgiving #top 10 #bob's burgers #gilmore girls #buffy the vampire slayer #aqua teen hunger force #hey arnold #how I met your mother #the simpsons #roseanne #regular show #brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn 99 #99

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archergwenwrites · 8 years

Text

Storyteller Part Seven

The Goblin Queen stared at the siblings, blinked, and when her brother and friends burst into the throne room, she let her magic explode out from her, forming a bubble as she froze time for them. Sokka took one look at her and then wove a spell to deflect attention from the bubble, just in case.

“Explain.”

Azula and Zuko glanced at each other. “We can’t,” he began. “We always thought-”

He broke off, unsure, and his sister picked up the tale. “Dad always said we were alone, that we had no family and it was just us three. No one ever came to see us, and Mom vanished, so why would we disagree? We had no reason to think he was some magical elf.”

“That was his voice? This doesn’t make sense,” Aang began. “Why would a prince of the Winter Court hide children Aboveground?”

“Our dad is what?”

Sokka lifted a placating hand to both the siblings and Goblin Queen. “Actually, hold on. Ozai went missing almost twenty years ago and didn’t show up for nearly fifteen years, still the mysterious and distant manipulative bastard we knew. There were rumors tying him to that not-so-noble-blooded lady his father hated which vanished once he showed up without her. Katara-” Sokka shot a look at Zuko who followed every word with narrowed focus, calculating with him. “-Katara I think these are their kids.”

“What?”

The entire gang seemed shocked, but Sokka pressed on. “Maybe she wanted to run away, or actually ran with the kids. Maybe he thought this was just a short fling, I don’t know. But we all know the line of Sozin are masters at turning unexpected situations to their advantage.” He nods to Azula. “Madame General of the Black Chicken Insurrection. The kid’s magic wouldn’t activate until they were here. If he adopted a Labyrinth kid, that would definitely ease his public image and put him leagues ahead of the heirless Iroh in the running for king once the Council gets around to voting. In addition, the kid whould be wholly dependent on him.”

“It would probably be Azula,” Zuko added, emotionless.

“I wouldn’t be manipulated,” she began, affronted but her brother’s hand on her shoulder stopped the initial rage.

“Sis, you would be alone in a strange land full of strange customs, suddenly an only child and suddenly a princess. Don’t pretend you don’t want that a little bit. You would be blinded at least for a bit by awe and confusion.” His voice was kind, but he kept glancing at the Queen.

For her part, Katara nodded. “We can sort that out later. He’s just declared war on a neutral territory on behalf of his house if not the Winter Court. I have to respond, and it will not be with kid gloves.”

Zuko looked at his sister for confirmation, but she was too in shock to react. He met the Goblin Queen’s gaze and replied, “do what you have to.”

She breathed, and the little bubble of time faded away.

While Zuko and Azula gathered their bearings, Katara turned to the others. “Suki, I need you to gather any magic users you can, dwarves, subjects, whoever you can find. Toph-”

“Defenses. Already on it.” She and Suki hurried into a passageway.

“Aang, I need you to go to the Summer and Winter Courts. They need to know what’s happening. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” The smallest of their friends looked more serious and grim than she’d ever seen. “It’s high time I start doing my job.” With that, he took a running start and dove out a window, catching a burst of wind and flying away.

Katara turned to her brother. “Any chance the dragons with throw in with us?”

“I mean, a little. If Ozai’s poked on those borders then he’s trespassed. I don’t know if it’s enough.”

“Go anyway. Try not to look desperate, more like we’re offering them an opprotunity for glory.”

“I’d rather be here to help fight-”

“As the strategist, I think you know why my brother should not be here, too.”

His voice dropped, suddenly quiet, serious, desperate. “Katara, don’t. We don’t know what his plan is. Besides, I’m not technically your subject. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“On the field of battle, I outrank you, so yes I can. Please, Sokka. Go. The faster you do the sooner you’re back.”

“I love you, sis.”

“I love you, too.”

Sokka raced off, leaving Katara alone to sigh heavily. With a gesture, she released the spell holding the goblins in their kinder, smaller form. If threatened, they would grow taller and more menacing to defend themselves and the Labyrinth.

Zuko’s low voice reminded her she was not, in fact, alone.

“You are brave.”

She met his gaze with her shoulders square and her spine straight even as the weight of her kingdom’s defense sapped at her strength. “I am a queen.”

A look passed between them, and the rest of the world could have fallen apart without their noticing. Respect was thick, enough to cut. Something like forgiveness was there, too, underlain with a heat she turned away from first.

"You two should head somewhere safe. Off the library is-"

She broke off, confused, as she felt the Labyrinth pull away like a creeping vine in too much light. There was a crack, like stone split in two by lightning, and she instinctively threw her arms out in defense, comforted by sensing the same from Zuko as he yanked his sister under his arms.

A spell was wrapped around her, around the personal sphere of protection she had cast for herself. It writhed and wiggled about, insidious and slippery as a serpent as it pressed inward, not with lethal intent but to bind and maim.

Lightning struck stone again, and the golden-eyed man from the dream stood in her throne room looking like a cat who caught the mouse and was ready to play with its dinner. There was a faint buzz around him as he threw his will and magic against the Labyrinth’s attempts to kick him out and Katara’s attempt to break free. She focused her attentions on finding a weak spot, letting the conversation flow through her mind to process later.

“Father,” Zuko began, voice flat, one hand on Azula’s mouth. “What brings you here? I have it on good authority that we’ll still be home before bedtime.”

Ozai frowned. “Do you have any idea of the magic and planning you have wasted? You couldn’t wait four years? No. You throw it all away before your sister would be taken seriously at Court.”

“It’s Azula, Father. They would take her seriously at eight or learn to the hard way.”

“You know nothing of how things are done-”

“But I can guess.” Ozai lifted an eyebrow and the air grew thick. “It’s like any political hive. Smiles and handshakes hiding hatred and cutting words. Azula will thrive here; you know this, and would put a price tag on it. I don’t fit; I never did, so when Mom left you were free to plot.”

“She didn’t leave.”

The small scuffle between the two siblings stuttered to a halt as Zuko froze. Azula broke free by a few feet, and then processed what her father said. “Mom’s alive?”

He was not pleased when he replied, “Yes. On a technicality. Killing touches the soul, and any half-trained Fae can pick out a murderer from a crowd.” His derisive glance at Zuko was not missed. “She’s somewhere Aboveground, leeching off my magic to stay alive. Why do you think I kept coming back down here? But enough of this chatter, come, Azula.”

“You want to kill Mom?” Her voice was small, on the edge of broken. Katara, her space slowly shrinking, could feel Zuko’s rage even still.

“She stole you away from me. I could enjoy her plot to run away together - she was the ideal match even if no one would approve of our marriage. You, daughter, are proof of that. But she-” He paused to consider his words. “-objected to returning, to my parenting. And so she ran, and used the skills that broke us free of my parents to slip away from me. Zuko was twelve when I found you again. You wouldn’t remember, of course. I may have edited your memories.”

“Liar,” Zuko snarled.

“Please,” Ozai laughed. “Don’t tell me you actually thought it was natural fire that burned you?”

Katara risked a slip of concentration to look at Zuko. He was pale, paler than normal, with the horrified, vacant look - matched by Azula - of someone who has just had false memories ripped away and the truth returned. Ozai said something else, but Katara missed it as a small wisp of magic broke through the spell. She almost crushed it before recognizing the Labyrinth, and she welcomed the bond.

“I don’t give up on what is mine. So come, Azula, and we will get my throne. If you like, it would be a simple matter to free this one for you.”

The young girl glanced at Katara who widened her eyes in desperation.

“Aren’t you forgetting? I’m the oldest. I stand in her way.”

Ozai’s attention returned to Zuko. “Do you think I am a fool? I am the younger son of Azulon. Your uncle has tried for years to argue his claim before the Council, yet here we still are in a succession gridlock for his son is dead and he refuses to remarry. I don’t need you.”

“Then there’s nothing stopping me from making a claim, is there? I’m intelligent, of age, apparently of the Sozin line, and I beat the Labyrinth. I will protect my sister.”

With an angry purr, Ozai finally took a step forward. “It’s not murder if it’s pest control-”

Several things happened after his slip of concentration.

First, Katara broke free as the Labyrinth immediately ceased resisting Ozai and flooded its queen with power.

As a result, Ozai stumbled slightly as if a chair he’d been leaning on had moved. With both his constricting spell broken and the Labyrinth resistance gone, he suddenly had a lot more magic at hand then he was expecting - not that he got to use any of it.

Zuko shoved all the hurt and pain down and away, slipping into a ready stance. His hand went to the knife his uncle gave him for his tenth birthday - a gift he now remembered.

And Azula - who had sat for hours in the library reading primers on magical creatures and politics, as well as primers on magic when Katara wasn’t looking - Azula gathered up magic with wide hands and spread fingers casting through the air like a net. Emotions rolling but head and heart clear, she put a lightning bolt through Ozai’s knee.

#zutara #fanfiction #the labyrinth au

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