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#(and yes to make this a better situation in the future I've now ordered 9 tape measures. can't lose 9 of the fuckers)
laughinglynx · 2 years
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casmybelovedass · 4 years
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The Destiel Folder: Season 10
[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7; Season 8; Season 9]
Episode 1:
Cas is slowly dying, practically naked, in a bed, and the first thing he says when talking about Dean is "I miss him" (6:35), with a soft smile. "Why would he just disappear?"
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... I'm sorry but If Cas Were A Woman, this would look like a scene from a movie or something, where the wife talks to a friend over the phone about her missing husband. JUST SAYING
Crowley: "The girl seemed nice. Slightly damaged. I could see the old you falling for that." (9:29) uhm... who else is "nice and slightly" damaged? I don't know... CASTIEL??!!!
So... these two men (actors Todd Mann and Brad Mann) we see with the DemonGang, are real life twins (9:14).
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At (27:18), Crowley states him and Dean did "extroardinary things to triplets" ... and, well, the only twins with a possible other sibling we see are... them
And this is not the first time we hear about Dean doing "things to triplets" with a buddy of his (15x07)... and the first time he was NOT a demon... so, there's that. And triplets don't necessarily mean "all females"
Cas, while talking about the good things that come with choices, mentions "hope, love, dreams" (39:06), and Hannah points out that "those are human things". Human things...
Cas is talking about his own personal experiences with creating chaos, so those are the things he felt after rebelling for... Dean... WOW. ICWAW, it would totally be read it as a reference to Dean. A romantic one. Fight me
Episode 2:
Cas is dying, just got back from a fight that left him wounded, doesn't have enough power to heal himself, is on a mission to restore Heaven, and once again he chooses to go save Dean (9:35), and the way rage builds in his eyes when learning Dean has become a demon. Look at this shit
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I might be crazy, but this feels like a touching metaphor to me:
"I think you don't know what you want. Tell me, Dean. What are you? A demon? [...] Maybe you're human. [...] Why don't you do us all a great, big favor... and pick a bloody side!" (22:22)
METAPHOR
Episode 3:
We are reminded that, even tho in terrible conditions, on the verge of death, Cas is willing to risk it all to save Dean, and is devastated by the thought of Dean not making it (4:47 - 5:17)
This is so funny to me, I'm sorry, but Cas is so visibly uncomfortable with Hannah touching him, it's hilarious (15:58)
"I've been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur. Emotions, feelings... They're dangerous temptations." (22:32) like rebelling against your own kind, destroying your home, falling... all for a human?
"I'm trying to keep our priorities clear." Moments earlier, Cas listed "Getting to Dean" (22:17) before anything else. In fact, Hannah says "I am very clear of my priorities... and yours." = Dean (23:00)
Cas is not sure whether the cure will kill Dean or not, and in any case, he wraps his arms around him, and softly says "It's over... Dean it's over." (35:40) as if hushing him to sleep, in what could have been their last moments together... wow. Think about this ICWAW
"Well, I can see his point. Only humans can feel real joy, but... also such profound pain. This is easier." (36:17) Look at the way Sam is looking at Cas looking at Dean
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BITCH OKAY!!
SAM KNOWS
POSSIBILE future Empty reference "real joy"
Cas already stated he misses being human, but knows how fragile they are in both body and spirit:
Castiel really wants to be with Dean. For real. But maybe he thinks (see season 9) him being an angel is an obstacle to their feelings.
Only by being human he can truly be happy (MMMMMMHH SEASON 15), but isn't sure he could handle the pain that comes with it. A possible rejection, the thought of Dean dying, him leaving Dean... MMMMHHHHH
"You look terrible." [...] "Well, you, on the other hand, you... *checks out Cas* Looking good." (39:09) full homo right there. Also parallel with Ketch in 13x18 ("You don't look good." "Yeah, well, you're not my type, either.")
The way they are looking at each other here... man.
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Cas is so happy to have Dean back, and Dean looks hurt about Cas leaving so soon.
"So... so, you're back?" "At least temporarily." (39:27) bitch, you know that's not what he ment.
In all of this, Cas is trying to make Dean feel better about the whole situation (DAT SMILE 40:18), and Dean replies with "I'm glad you're back, man.", basically no-homoing himself...
Cas starts walking out of the room, but stops and turns back [insert concerned husband here] (40:27), and Dean has that hopeful look in his eyes, like Cas is going to stay, and the hurtful look comes back as soon as Cas is gone
Episode 4:
"On your knees!" "Wow, I'm awfully flattered-" (34:33) SASSY BI DEAN IS THE DEAN WE DESERVE
Episode 5:
Fucking kill me NOW!!! Dean's reaction to Destiel is PRICELESS!! And even before he learns what that is, he just looks at the girls playing him and Cas and... freezes for a moment (13:18) And the eyebrow raise thingy at (13:34)... what's going on in your brain, Dean?
I'd like to point out that the Italian translation for "You can't spell 'subtext' without S-E-X" is, for once, AMAZING:
"It's just that... their bond is so strong it has subtext of a... sexual nature."
THANK YOU ITALIAN DUB! JUST THIS ONCE, THANK YOU! (13:43)
Also at (9:44) Dean immediately reacts to the implication of Wincest subtext, shutting it down and telling the girls to take a step back, but with Destiel he is like... alright
... this is so fucking cute, (25:54) Dean adjusts the girl playing Cas' tie so that it's messed up like the real Cas'. ADORABLE
SAM SHIPS IT (13:57) and is teasing the SHIT out of Dean, who reacts like someone being teased about their crush. Just saying (14:08 - 14:52) [AND THIS HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PINK-BLUE WALL]
"I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this version of Supernatural." (26:44) ... oookay meta? *turns to "Cas"* "And I want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can." ... oKAY?!
Episode 7:
Cas being extremely uncomfortable with women is too fucking funny to me (5:03 - 12:51)
Episode 9:
(15:13) Alright, so, this is a date... what now? Anyway, nice bi flannel, Dean. And the little sweet smiles you two are giving each other? So fucking precious (16:01)
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"I ain't exactly a role model." "That's not true." (16:07) how Dean looks at Cas right after that? BABIES!
"How are you, Dean?" "Fine." "*I-call-bullshit look*" "I'm great!" "No, you're not." (16:18) #MARRIED
As Cas is choke-holding a guy, Dean, clearly amused (almost proudly), says "I'd do what he says." (22:17) Like that time with Raphael in 5x03, Dean likes it when Cas gets rough
Episode 10:
Shut the fuck up and marry each other already so you can finally actually BE the old married couple™️ you ALREADY ARE (22:17)
This is the "My husband is so FUCKING STUPID" look (22:30)
"I was hoping you might reach out to her." "... Me? I'm probably the last person she'd want to hear from." [...] "All I know... is she won't talk to me." (23:03) #MARRIED, PARENTS, PERIODT
Shut the fuck up. Cas is the dad trying to figure out technology (23:36) "I'll text you her number. I like texting. Emotions!" DAD
Cas worries about Dean like a wife would with an alcoholic husband
Of all the things Dean could be MAD about at Metateon... the first thing he can think of is him stealing Cas' grace (31:33) (okay, maybe he is going in chronological order but STILL)
Episode 11:
[I AM SO SO SO SORRY BUT DEAN USED THE ALIAS "PRESLEY" (18:55) I AM NOT OKAY]
Episode 14:
Have this deleted scene: Castiel and Crowley bitching over Dean, and Crowley calling Dean Cas' boyfriend
This is some hell of a goodbye-eye-love-making scene (26:57)
Cain compares himself to Dean... and CAS TO HIS WIFE COLLETTE [PARALLELS]
"You're living my life in reverse [...]
First you'd kill Crowley. You'd get it done, no remorse. (Cain had been killing his descendants, for whom he didn't care much)
And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one... that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. [And than Sam is Able, bla bla...]"
AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG??!!!
Dean gives the First Blade to Cas... oKAY (37:10)
Worried brother-in-laws (41:27)
Episode 16:
This is such a good source of hidden meanings scene! Dean starts his "confession" as a scam. Everything he says at first is to attract the spirit.
He starts talking about seeing lots of women, not being able to control himself, and being sick of it. Then the real confession begins...
Dean feels he's going to die soon, and fears not death itself, but what he would be missing from his life.
"There's things... people, feelings that I... I would experience differently than I had before. Or even for the first time." (25:28) and the priest believes Dean is talking about love.
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Well... "people, feelings"... who could he be referring to? Does Dean want love all of a sudden? People he wants to experience for the first time... uhmmmm... Is Dean opening up to his attraction to MEN??!! Or one angel in particular?
ICWAW we would guess Dean was talking about Cas
"Who mixes their blood and bones into paint? No woman has ever done that for me." (39:19) UHM- Dean, what about
6x20 "He has bled, died bla bla bla for us",
7x21 "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" or
9x22 "You just gave up an entire army for one guy"
ICWAW we would ALL roll our eyes at this statement and scream CAS
THE GUY BLED, LOST HIS HOME, REBELLED, DIED FOR YOU!! HE REBUILT YOU PIECE BY PIECE FROM HELL- SAVED YOU DOZENS OF TIMES!!!
Episode 17:
About saving Dean from the Mark: "We won't- (free Metatron)" "Yes, you will... because you're desperate." (9:44) Hannah knows. Let's remark that
"All I'm getting from you is... colours." (14:26) bitch he is a walking 🌈PRIDE FLAG🏳️‍🌈
Notice how, when we get a Sam-Cas centred episode, we don't get the same interactions with Dean-Cas? Why this?
Dean is always ready to call Cas a "brother", but the only one true bromance here is Sam and Cas'. There are no longing stares, no weird sexual filled dialogue nor tension, NO LONGING STARES
Facts, my people. Facts
Episode 18:
"You killed my friend." "Oh, pff, Dean is fine, mostly. Can't you get past that?" "Never." (12:39)
Charlie being excited about meeting Dean's famous boyfriend is WHOLESOME (37:34)
To have Cas back, 100%, safe and sound, is a win for Dean (38:58) and the face Cas makes after Dean hits him with another no-homo "It's good to have you back, pal." is "UHH not this again". Charlie already ships it
Episode 20:
A #MARRIED couple and their daughter. NO ARGUMENTS VALID (7:06)
Look at how they enter the motel (16:22)
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OH MY GOOOOOD!!! #PARENTS coming back home from shopping!! THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER!!! Also
"Happy birthday. I got it at the Hot Topical" DAD
Dean: "Imma head back over there." Cas: "I'm coming with you." Claire: "I'm coming with you too." (17:24) #FAMILY
A fucking family comedy about a dad confronting the daughter's boyfriend and the other dad scolding him:
"What did you do to him?" "I didn't lay a hand on him!" "Dean, that isn't exactly true." "... Well, I didn't kill the guy." (17:14)
Surprisingly enough, this is not the first nor last time Dean acts like a dad to a lost child (AND TWO OF THESE TIMES THE KID IS SOMEHOW RELATED TO CAS) (21:54)
Episode 22:
C: "Claire, you are not going out there. [...] It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." D: "Claire, you're not going." C: "You're not either, Dean." D: "What?" (19:29)
#FAMILY DON'T TALK TO ME!
"No fighting. [...] Both of you." AAAAAA
This doesn't fucking matter, but Dean just said "... for the ladies. Or the fellas. I don't judge." (36:23)
Cas' speech to Dean... wow. "So if there's even a small chance that we can save you... I won't let you walk out of this room." (39:20)
I hate this scene. (40:11)
Dean is overwhelmed by Charlie's death, Sam and Cas' betrayal, the Mark changing him and all the other shit.
The Mark is taking over, and Dean can't (and won't) help it. Cas knows it. He doesn't want to hurt Dean. He is not even resisting. Doesn't put up a fight.
And just like Colette with Cain, Castiel only asks Dean one thing: "Stop." (40:38) [9x11]
Parallel to 8x07:
The only thing that stops Cas from killing Dean, is him begging, clutching onto his sleeve.
"Dean... please..." (41:08) Cas pleading Dean, clutching to his arm, makes him resist the urge to kill him.
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Episode 23:
You can find gifs and the script of some deleted (destiel) scenes in this post by @charlie-minion
As the Mark eats Dean... he starts feeling guilt for the people he hurt... first on the list: Cas (14:54)
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(This gif is not mine)
Well... what a season.
[Season 11>>]
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irepookie · 6 years
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INFINITY
Summary: QUEEN AU where Rog (aka Rowan Queen) is young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.
Warnings: Fluff, Fluff, Fluff, and swearing.
Word Count: 1926
Okay so this is the closest picture I could find to Row's state in the next two chapters:
Chapter 2: PIPER
Row has a lot questions to ask himself, and he knows it's on only his own future at stake, but also The Prune's, who may be getting a name.
Of all the things Rowan Queen might have aspired to be, -a Rockstar, a Roger Taylor level drummer...- a 19 year old solo dad wasn't amongst them.
All he knew was that since he had first held that small Wrinkly being and her eyes had met his, she had stolen a part of him, and that the only way to feel completed again was being with her.
Ridiculously sappy, he knew.
"But that's what makes best parents" Callie, the nurse who had introduced them assured him one day when he confessed his thoughts out loud, while he watched her sponge bath the infant "Don't feel stupid, or embarrassed for feeling that way, Row. In fact, that's exactly how it should be. Always. And those fathers who deny it or fight that connection, end up estranged from their kids as they grow up. Take it from a daughter who hasn't seen her father in 5 years"
But, alas, there he was, living between his flat and the Hospital's newborn aisle, because he just couldn't get that one girl out his head, despite don't knowing how he had come to this.
"Well I haven't seen mine in 9"
"And that scares you, don't it?"
He gasped, and nodded slowly.
"Is better having no father figure at all than having a bad one. Just like I think your Prune is luckier having one brave dad than a coward mom"
"And two fit parents?" He asked, eyes flicking to the untouched pile of adoption papers
"Well that's the ideal situation, isn't it? But the weight always ends up relaying more on the mother, you know? The father always steps back, because society still thinks it's more acceptable for us women to raise the children because, of course, we have deeper connection with 'em for carrying them around for nine months and blah blah blah." She got the towel and handed it to him before laying the squirming 2 day old In his arms.
He carefully wrapped it around her and sat down so he wouldn't drop her, then started to stroke her soft delicate skin with the towel.
"But that's bullshit." Callie continued "That's an excuse you men came up with to sneak out from changing nappies. But I believe you guys are just as capable of taking care of children as us. And that you might be the ultimate proof of it." She gathered her hair in a ponytail, and smiled at father and daughter, as Row was now
leaning back on the rocking chair with the Prune, -as all the staff had begun to call her- laid on his bare chest.
"So forget whatever prejudices you have. This kid needs you, she doesn't know nothing about what's going on, she misses her little warm oven, the voice she was so used to hear and that she'll never hear again because that world has left her behind the first chance she got and she's very confused.
But also, She doesn't know about gender stereotypes, or that she's a girl. But she knows you're here. And her instincts tell her you're safety, and warmth, and love. Sure, I'm around a lot too, but soon you'll be discharged and everything she'll have will be you. A d then she'll grow up and will be forever grateful for everything you will have done for her"
The teen nodded, taking in all the words but remaining silent. Quiet moments like this -when she was calm and content- were quite meaningful.
"I just want the best for her. And I'm not sure I am"
"Well, from where I'm standing, you're pretty much up there. Nobody gets her to settle down as quickly as you do. That has to mean something, right? Newborns have this amazing instinct of detecting sources of love and protection. And you are hers. She trusts you: trust yourself"
Days went by, and Row found himself getting up early in order to go back to hospital. At home he was restless, as questions filled his head.
Was she better off with him?
Was he ready?
How could Callie be so much more sure about the whole thing than he was?
What if be wasn't good enough
What if mom was right?
Why did he want to become a dad in the first place?
Should he just sign those papers before it was too late and forget the whole thing?
The sixth day, he made his way to the hospital as usual, but something felt off. What it was? He couldn't put a finger on it, so he shrugged it off and entered the NICU area where she was.
"Hey, lovely one, look at you, a bit bigger each day" he cooed at his yet unnamed daughter, as he put his hand through the incubator hole to let her know his ore6 "So strong and so beautiful" he smiled brightly as her small hand closed around his finger.
"Yes, this way please" he heard a male voice and turned his eyes to see a doctor and a man and a woman who were probably in their thirties
"Oh my gosh she's so tiny!" The woman exclaimed, walking towards the glass
"Who are you?" Row asked, stepping defensively in front of her before she could reach the baby.
"You must be Rowan Queen?" The man held his hand out "We're the adopting couple..."
"What?" He basically slapped it away "No! Who told you she's in for adoption?"
"Mister, you signed the adoption papers" the Doctor said
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did. Here" the doctor looked through the pile of papers on his hands and showed him.
He snatched the file from him. That was his signature but he didn't remember signing anything. He may have doubts about being a dad, but Callie was right, the little prune and him needed each other. They belonged together And he wasn't gonna give her away. The only way was through.
"There must be a mistake. She's not up for adoption"
"Err... Yes she is" the man said
"No she's not! I should know better than you, huh?"
"We've heard about the mother. So sad. But babies need their mommys, don't they?" The woman cooed from the other side of the incubator
"You can't take her" if looks could kill, Row would have murdered her right then and there.
"Mister..."
"No! He's my daughter!"
"Sir, signing this you gave up your parental rights"
"And what the hell does that even mean?"
"Legally, she's not yours anymore"
"But I don't remember signing anything!"
"But this is your signature"
"Yes. But I... I didn't mean it"
The woman scoffed "Well you clearly did."
"Mind your fucking business!" He snapped, before turning to the doctor "Look, I really don't know how my signature is there but I need you to... I don't know, forget it, okay?"
"Forget it?"
"Yes! Whatever that stupid paper says, I'm keeping her. And I will do everything you want me to"
"Sorry. There's nothing we can do about it now. You could take this to court but... It's a lost cause"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"A 19 year old against a healthy, stable marriage?" He used the same arguments mom had
"But I'm her dad..." His voice quivered, as his baby started to cry.
"Don't worry sweetheart. Mommy and Daddy are here now" the woman said "Our Judy"
"Judy? What the fuck, you're not naming her Judy!"
"What we do with our daughter is our business, sir" the woman said "Now please, leave us alone"
"No! She's not Judy. She's my prune, I'm gonna prove to all of you fuckers wrong, because I can fucking do this if I want you. Not because I wanted to at first, or because I can't have my own kid like you; she's my own kid and she belongs with me. And I may not be a middle upper class, or drive a goddamn Mercedes, or have a huge house and a stable boring job at whatever office. And she may not have a goddamn mother, or her own room. So what? She has me. Because I'm the one who's been here for the whole bloody week worrying about her. Not you, not her mother. So fuck off and choose another kid!"
Two men who Row hadn't even seen arrive took him, as he fought and called his crying daughter "PIPER! PIPER! DADDY WILL GET YOU! I'M YOUR DAD, DON'T FORGET!"
Then he woke up with a jolt in that same hospital room, as his newborn baby awoke too beside him
He quickly sat up and leaned over to place a hand on her tummy, to check that she was real, letting out a sigh of relief when feeling her warm skin
It had been just a dream. Well, a nightmare rather than a dream. But she was there, safe next to him
"Hey, baby girl. Yes, hello darling. You had a good night? Gave trouble to the nurses?" he asked, stroking her torso "Are we hungry?" He offered his little finger,and she began to suck on it as response, which made him chuckle. "Alright, I'll call so they get us a bottle okay?"
3 minutes later, he was sitting on the green rocking chair, Baby Prune on his bare chest -because apparently skin to skin helped parents and kiddos bond or whatever- as he gave her the bottle.
He had to admit, ever since he had learned how to properly hold her, he looked forward to feeding, because he had grown to love these little moments, and by the end of them, be always felt closer and more in love with that tiny, wrinkled human being which he had helped make.
Who was a part of him somehow, and who he couldn't imagine his life without despite having only known her for 6 days.
She was so amazing. So mesmerizing. With her clear grey eyes and her peachy skin, and her adorable ears.
He just couldn't get his eyes off her.
"You're gonna come home with me in a couple days, and..." He realized he hadn't really thought about a plan. He had just moved out mom's, and the apartment was still empty. He'd have to start getting stuff. But anyway "... And we'll figure something out. I'm not gonna renounce to you. No ma'am. You've got me. And I've got you. And I'll look after you and make sure you're always happy and safe and... loved. I fucking love you so damn much and I don't even know how did this happen. I mean you're not even a week old and you've already turned my life upside down just by bloody existing. You can't even understand what I'm saying. But here I am, making all this plans and Shit... I, who never thinks ahead, who never knows his future beyond what meal he's gonna get. But I... Damn. Do you babies have like special powers or something? Do you like... Is it a defensive instinct? Like you manage to make us go nuts about you by casting a spell it whatever so we'll stay enchanted? Because this is fucking ridiculous."
She finished the bottle and he put it aside.
"Speaking about plans, we can't keep calling you Baby Prune. We're gonna have to choose a name. A pretty unique gorgeous name for a special, perfect little princess like you. So, let's see" he changed his hold on her so they were face to face. Something the nurses had called.. ? He wasn't really sure but he had got hand on it "Yes, hello" he smiled helplessly at the sight of her "Baby girl. Baby girl" he cooed absentmindedly as he analysed her features
Then he remembered his dream. He had called her Piper. He wasn't even sure if he had heard that name before but he liked it. It was original, cool, rare enough people would associate it with her but not awful, like other names he had heard.
"Piper" he whispered, tasting the word while contemplating her face. It sounded good to him. "Piper Queen" he said, a bit louder this time as her tiny hand closed around a strand of his blonde hair. "You like that? Piper?"
She just blinked, but he interpreted it as an affirmative answer
"It's settled, then. Piper. Pips for short." He smiled, and brought her back to his bare chest so he could lull her back to sleep with his rambling, which had worked the previous times.
"My Piper" he kissed her head and began to rub her back "I'm so scared honestly. I won't lie to ya, I have no idea what I'm doing but you can rely on me. I'm good at improvising so I'll figure it out. Don't worry. But you gotta take it easy, hm? If you have a bit of patience, it'll be just fine. And about this?" He reached for the papers -which were unsigned- and ripped them off "Fuck it. Just fuck it."
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🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
A big Hola to my dear fellow @definitely-darcy whose kind review and attention to detail has made gain confidence in this.
So, I've written this one in different bits which I've had to tie up together. Hope you guys like it.
That's about it, really. Please comment and let me know what you think (always nice and constructively).
Xx
~Pookie
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uriel-darc-angel · 4 years
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Final Fantasy VII: Remake
Been waiting for this game for a long time...Finally the time has come where we can get our hands on the remake of what is easily my favorite video game of all time...
I've been watching the development of this game for years...Optimism fighting internally with pessimism at how Square was going to handle this remake...
Would they rework everything so that it no longer felt like the original...?
Would they drastically change the story...?
Well now we know the answers to those two basic questions...
Yes, and yes...
However, those changes are not as terrible as I originally feared...Actually quite the opposite...
The story changes are actually quite nice...Building upon the original without drastically changing what we all remember from the original...They have fleshed out Midgar, Shinra, Avalanche, as well as every playable character and even the general npcs that wander the streets of Midgar...These changes have made your time in Midgar feel more like you're actually in a living, breathing location...The npcs feel like they have lives of their own and it can sometimes be difficult to watch how the actions you take affect their lives and the lives of their families and friends...These changes add a sense of gravity to everything you do...
The story changes are slightly more subtle...Expanding on the lore in many instances without seeming to sacrifice anything to make those changes...All the original story beats are here and have been expanded upon in many places allowing for better depth on the characters growth over the 40-50 hours of a casual playthrough...
The one main change I've noticed, and I'm going to try to word this explanation as carefully as I can to avoid spoilers, is that they've slightly tweaked a few things as though they were adapting the original story to fall more in line with some of the post game content such as movies...Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children seems to be a pretty strong influence on some of the biggest changes to the original story...
We'll have to wait and see how these changes affect the games yet to come...
Now let's move onto the elephant in the room...
The Combat System...
I have to say this is the thing that has caused me the most concern over the last few years as I watched this game come together...Moving from the classic turn based combat of the original to a real time 3rd person action style that looks and plays like a hybrid of FFXV and FFXIII...It actually works rather well...
You can easily not only switch directly between the character you are actively controlling but you can also give your other party members orders without switching directly to them...There is a surprising amount of depth to the combat here...
Switching between the characters is simple and necessary...You'll find yourself having a very bad time if you tunnel vision yourself on a single character...However if you switch often you're able to set up some really impressive damage bursts on the bosses if you're careful on the setup...
When you are digging through the very classic style menus, time doesn't stop completely, though it does slow down to an extremely slow rate which gives you plenty of time to think without lessening the tension of the moment...You can't open a menu and go make a sandwich but unlike XIII's system you have a few moments to consider your options...
There are problems with the AI though...They are slow...They build up their ATB gauges so painfully slowly that it can make some situations rather frustrating...Also the AI will ignore your targeting directions...
You can lock onto a target (creature, or even a particular body part of some of the bosses) by pressing in the right stick of the controller but the second you switch to another character the AI starts ignoring your locked target and will wander off and do their own thing even if that thing they're doing is completely useless...Once you switch back though you'll find that your original target is still locked onto...
It's very frustrating as many, if not all, times you are going to be wanting to Focus Fire either a particular mob or part on a boss...
Hopefully we see a fix to this in the future...If not a patch for this game, an update for the next...
Some of the encounters seem like they may not have been play tested also...Pretty much all the bosses are fantastic however some of the "trash" packs between them are very much not...Either you'll be ambushed by a pack of something that is FAR more difficult than anything you've had to deal with, or you'll encounter something with a mechanic that just feels as though it wasn't thought through very well (the whack-a-mole robots in Hojo's lab)...If you've played it, you know exactly what I'm talking about...
I haven't found a situation in this game that requires anything remotely looking like grinding...That's good and bad in different ways...Good in the fact that the game is paced well enough that you never really feel "stuck" and bad in that there really isn't a good place to actually grind...
The loss of random battles also shares this good/bad feeling...Good that you can actually see what you're about to pick a fight with so you can adjust your Materia loadout for the encounter, but bad in that there are quite a few times where it feels a bit bad to just be running so far from place to place without seeing anything...It can make Midgar feel a little empty...
The music...
Oh the music...Every song in this game is a love letter to the original...It varies so wildly from place to place and the songs seem to flow into each other as though the computer is remixing the music in real time as you move from place to place and encounter to encounter...To me, it's amazing...I love everything about the music here...
Overall the game is an amazing reimagining of the original...The characters all feel right, the locations are iconic and surprisingly faithfully built into a gorgeous 3d live environments for you to explore, and the story expands upon and fleshes out your time in Midgar in fantastic ways...
If you're a fan of the original don't let this remake pass you by...
If you're too young to have played the original then this is a great place to start...
This game is good...
Very good...
If Square/Enix cleans up the combat system and takes a bit more care of some of the unbalanced encounters, the following games in the FFVII series could easily end up being 9/10 or even 10/10 games moving forward...
As this game stands I have to give it a pretty solid 8.5/10...
Definitely a must play for anyone that enjoys JRPGs or even those who like 3rd person action games...
This game hits almost all the right notes for almost anyone that enjoys games...
Give it a shot...
I doubt you'll be disappointed...
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calvarineharrod · 7 years
Text
25 things I've learnt at 25:
Lists usually remind us of order...
Grocery lists, itineraries, pros and cons, marked calendars, full inboxes, an array of neon post-its and not forgetting the dreaded PING! of a cellphone reminder.
Throughout life, we go through seasons of pain and gain. It's inevitable. For me, writing is cathartic. It's a outlet for my spiritual tap to run open. It's a window to invite visions and sounds to enter.
Our 20s is a metamorphosis between childishness and real adulting.
Since I'm 25 right now, I'm not relinquishing this opportunity to finally pass on some of my "wisdom" to other people reaching this 'tender' age. 
Herewith below is MY list of what I've learnt at 25:
1) Age: is just not just a number: you're half way to 50! "You cannot live the same way for 75 years and call it a life." Wisdom should grow with age. Be alert, stay woke and make sure you don't waste your youth for its a short time. 
2) Goals: are very important. Without goals, we live so aimlessly and not driven to be better, live better. Set realistic goals and update them. The "Dragging feet mentality" is the worst feeling. Goals keep you challenged and motivated. Don't despise moments of difficulty. Cultivate resilience.  
3) Discovery: One of my favourite things about being 25 is that you start to get specific about the things you like and are completely unapologetic about it. I know the type of food I want to eat, places I want to visit, conversations I want to have and the company I wish to be surrounded with. It's very liberating. 
4) Fix your Axis: start to get serious about your career. Shift your focus on productivity. Live to please yourself. 
Head in the direction of your dream job. Being 25 is probably the oldest age to get an internship so take any opportunity that allows you to be your best version.
5) Nightlife: The club is not as exciting as your cosy bed. Having a rejuvenating 10-hour sleep session trumps a night filled with drunk, sweaty people, loud music and traffic.
6) Your interests WILL change - for example, shopping for furniture is waaaaay more exciting than clothes. Your style changes, your taste evolves, you crave authenticity. You want to eat soul food and drink merlot. It's quite hilarious. 
7) Happiness. We spend our entire lives and a lot of money trying to attain happiness. It's all a hoax. Your happiness always begins with you. You are a complete person. Please stop looking for someone or something to complete you. 
8) Stand up for Yourself: It's okay to disagree with someone but still be graceful. Being 25 means you have lived long enough to have figured out the pattern of life. Have an opinion. Stand for what you believe in. Be strong and courageous. Don't allow anyone to violate you. 
9) Be responsible. Don't drink and drive. At 25, you cannot ask your parents to bail you out, sort your bills and rescue you from trouble. Grow up. 
10) Independence: sounds great but requires discipline and maturity. If you wish to be independent, you must be willing to make sacrifices as well. Rent, Groceries and Petrol are more important than Dinners, Movies and Entertainment. 
11) Finances. This is huge one. A proper savings plan and retirement annuity must be implemented. Start thinking critically of your future and be precise of exactly where you want to go. 
12) Friends : by the age of 25, you should already have figured out whose in your life for a season or a lifetime. I don't waste time being friends with fickle people. Loyalty and respect is what I look for in friends. Quality over quantity any day! 
13) Get smart: my favourite hobby of all time is reading. Get into the habit of knowing what's happening in the world. You're 25! You should have an opinion surrounding politics, religion, comedy, entertainment, sport, music. Don't go with flow, stand out and honestly, don’t be afraid to offend. Of course not maliciously, but if you view offends someone, don’t be hindered by their reaction. 
14) Forgiveness: no matter what religion or values you follow, forgiveness is a difficult but necessary trait to develop. Forgive others and forgive yourself for any past mistakes. 
15) Marriage: this is sensitive and different for everyone. Don't stress if you're not ‘Married’. Yes, you might feel dis-heartened that you did not find your so-called 'soulmate'. So what? Stop living your life based on other peoples’ deadlines. I believe in timing. Everything you're going through is preparing you for a brighter future. 
16) Family: Don't tolerate an abusive partner, instigating family members. Find your inner peace. Family is not limited to blood relation and true family don't seek to hurt each other.They seek to build each other. Remember that. 
17) Faith. I am I firm believer in God. I daily remind myself that it's not about me but actually fulfilling my God-given duties. My purpose before being a daughter, sister, auntie, friend and lover is to be WORSHIPPER. My role model is Christ and I often use the famous "WWJD" when approaching a situation. Don't worship with emotion but always in spirit and truth. 
18) Dating: I don't believe in dating people just to pass time or when I'm feeling bored. If I don't see a future with you, I'm not going to date you and waste both our time. 
19) Value: People base everything upon face-value. You might have received bad treatment because of your race, age or marital status. Ignore it. Remind yourself daily of who you are and who you belong to and that's God. You are not the tail but the head. 
20) Women in Power: I love seeing a strong woman taking charge, shattering the glass ceiling and successfully leading her home, workplace or any situation. We deserve respect, love and comfort but remember that you must also offer these qualities in order to receive it.
21) Social media: straight and simple. Don't post anything you wouldn't want your mother to see or would be embarrassed of in 5 years’ time. 
22) Face-beat: Learn how to do your own makeup but also don't feel afraid to be comfortable in your own skin. Contouring and highlighting is great when you have a great personality to match it with.
23) Birthdays: are no longer exciting. You get anxious even thinking of getting a year older, especially if you haven't met your goals for the year. 
24) Time is precious:  spend it wisely on experiences and relationships. You will never have regrets about this. Remember, you can only wear one pair of shoes at a time and no matter how big your house is, you can only sit in one place at a time. Invest in people and do good service for them. Cut down and live frugally.
25) Instinct: at 25, your 6th sense develops in a drastic way. Trust your gut. If it feels suspicious, it probably is. Don't downplay your instinct. Own your truth and work on strengthening your instinct for it is an asset to your future well- being.
HOPE THIS HAS HELPED SOMEONE, ANYONE.
XOXO
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taulun · 7 years
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A guy I've been talking to said that he might have bpd just as a "heads up". He's really sweet and everything seems fine and I would like to make it work (if we do end up liking each other more than friends). Do you have any advice on how to be there for him or just things I should know to expect in the future? I'm familiar with bpd, but not from first hand experience and I'd like to be a gf who supports her significant other the best that I can. Thanks ahead of time for any words of wisdom :]
I wish you luck, guys.. First of all, bpd is an awful, awful disorder and it takes a lot of sacrifices from one person to make a relationship work. I mean, it takes effort from bpd person too, but it's more about the other side sacrificing here. Okay, so:1. Never make him feel unwanted, like, try to response to all his affections and if you don't feel like it bcs idk it's not your day, let him know that it's not his fault and show him that it's true. 2. Be affectionate, emotional, loving and understanding above all, e.g. when he keeps talking to you about bpd or he starts acting exactly how he was describing his syndromes, never be judgmental, never say sth like "I didn't sign up for this", and even if you don't say it, don't act like that, bcs that's exactly what you signed up for. 3. Tell him you love him everyday. I'm serious. People with bpd, or at least me, we're like white blank pages everyday. Another day, another page, different viewing of people surrounding us. If you tell him you love him on Sunday, he believes that it's true only during that Sunday. On Monday he doesn't know it anymore and his paranoia makes an appearance until you tell him that you love him again, and not when he asks you that and you say "yes I do" (tho ofc most of the times it's enough to make him at ease), but anyway it's always better when he doesn't have to ask for your feelings. 4. Don't lie to him, don't break promises (I mean ofc it happens bcs people are not perfect, but please try not to break them all the time/often, bcs he'll get paranoid). 5. Reassurance and conversations are the key - if his doubts make an appearance, ALWAYS try to get rid of them by telling and showing him you love him. Talk with each other about problems, don't let him think that something is wrong without explaining that it's not (or if it is wrong actually, try to explain and convince him that it's not his fault - when it is his fault, explain it in the softest way possible, e.g. once I was with a girl and one time she told me that she doesn't want to do something for now and it looked like it's because of me and she couldn't handle the situation and we were in bed then and I ended up crying all night and everytime she tried to touch me or comfort me, I was doing everything in order not to be touched by her, I was paranoid and I thought she was rejecting me). Okay so now for the things you need to be prepared for:1. People with bpd see the world in black and white. Period. You can interpret it however you want, but they just don't see the grey. And it's not something they can change. 2. They have a lot of trust issues and traumas, and get triggered very easily. They could easily be described as "a very fragile glass". 3. The littlest things can make them depressed, paranoid, scared etc, but it takes something bigger for them to be happier, e.g. you can joke about sth inconvenient and it can trigger them, but you have to spend the whole day being affectionate and loving to fix it. And next days too. 4. Fears are most of the times irrational but they come from previous experiences in relationships or traumas those relationships left on them. That doesn't mean these fears are irrelevant. 5. Mood swings happen all the time. People with bpd are like a rollercoaster ride, at 5pm they're happy, at 5:15 depressed as fuck. It's very exhausting for them to experience emotions in general, and to experience emotions that change all the time is even worse. 6. About emotions - it's like, take your emotion, for example happiness and multiply it ten times. It's like they feel every emotion ten times stronger. So when he says he loves you, he means it ten times stronger than you can imagine, when he looks happy, he's actually at the top of the world. And bcs of the intensity of emotions it's very hard to exist because mood swings happen often and emotions are fucking intense. So yeah. 7. People with bpd are convinced that everything is impossible, unreachable for them, they feel they don't deserve anything. That happens during bad days. During good days they may even feel like gods. When I said about black and white, it has an impact on them as well - they're like walking and talking paradoxes. They want to kill themselves, but they don't, they want to heal themselves by therapy, but they don't, they hate their disorder, but they love it, they hate who they are, but there are some aspects about them that they love a lot (tho it's mostly hatred, they really can't stand themselves as human beings), they can think of themselves as the worst fucking shits on the planet, but at the same time they believe they're better than other people etc. It's because bpd is a disorder of two faces, two faces at the same time. People with bpd deny themselves and it's not normal for them either, but they can't change it. 8. Borderlines in relationships are like: "I know you will leave me in the end and at some point I'll just start counting the days until it happens", but they also try to believe you will stay with them forever and never leave them and that love is the answer to everything. So, that's a warning. If you don't mean to spend the rest of your life with that guy, think about it again, because once something happens and you leave, it will be like the end of the world for him. Literally. 9. People with bpd tend to be obsessed with their significant others. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it isn't, because he will most probably love you SO MUCH that you will become his world, life, sense of existence, everything, but he can also get jealous, possessive, scared of losing you to the point where he basically takes your freedom away and he would do it without even knowing that it's wrong. At some point you will become a goddess for him. 10. They're impulsive. In a fight they say things they would never say out loud and days after the fight they don't even remember what they said. I often compare it to being possessed, because my mouth is talking, my fingers are typing, but I can't control it. I know what I'm doing but I can't do anything to stop it. Emotions are blinding bpds ALL THE TIME. And once the fight is over, they realize what they said or did and they start to apologize, sometimes literally on their knees. 11. They say sorry a lot. Like, A LOT. They are sorry for everything. They feel like everything they do is wrong, especially when their partner looks like sth is wrong and bcs of them (I already said that). 12. They will do ANYTHING to keep you by their side, anything so you won't leave. Most of the times they do the opposite but they believe it will keep you by their side. They have very complicated minds and fragile hearts, so like I said it's a rollercoaster or it's like walking on glass - one bad move and it breaks, most of the times forever. 13. Once they feel hurt by you, it will last for a long time or even forever. When something goes wrong in a relationship with bpd, they remember it and keep reminding themselves of it all the time. They are paranoid since then and most of the times that's the first phase of a process of leaving them by their partner. Why? Because they get hard to handle and people are never that strong to live with that. It's hard, it's really hard to be with someone who has bpd, but for them it's even harder, I believe. But anyway, like I said in the beginning, I wish you guys a lot of luck and especially to you, anon - I wish you patience and strength.
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itbeatsbookmarks · 7 years
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[EXPERIMENT] Emacs with the SpiderMonkey garbage collector
From: Pip Cet Subject: [EXPERIMENT] Emacs with the SpiderMonkey garbage collector Date: Thu, 23 Nov 2017 19:01:02 +0000
Hello everyone, I'm typing this in a version of Emacs that uses the SpiderMonkey (Mozilla's JavaScript engine) garbage collector, which I've just succeeded in starting for the first time. It's an experiment, and I'm perfectly happy to abandon it and leave with what I've learned; but I think it's an interesting experiment, and it might help those actually wanting to use a different garbage collector in the official version of Emacs. Most of the code is available at http://ift.tt/2zO7cdc (This code won't work as-is yet, I'm afraid. I'm trying to figure out how to get the gnulib files to build for C++. It's also missing some very recent changes. I'm hoping to fix that soon, but if you actually want to try things, it might be best to contact me by email. Also, if anyone could help me find a better place to host free software, that would be very much appreciated). Again, this is an experiment. It's currently slow, unstable, contains known bugs, will not work except on GNU/Linux with X (and with a specific hacked version of the SpiderMonkey library), leaks memory, and provides no practical advantages over official Emacs. I'm writing this now because I'm trying to decide how much more time to spend on it, and would appreciate comments and feedback. And, of course, questions! The main difference between the current mark-and-sweep garbage collector and the SpiderMonkey garbage collector is that the latter is a copying garbage collector and precise, meaning that objects may change address during GC and that only typed values, not memory locations that might or might not be, must be traced. A minor difference is that GC can happen at any time the code is in the JavaScript API, meaning that we can no longer get away with stretches of code that "never GC". I was hoping to find some bugs in official Emacs during this process, but have been mostly[1] unsuccessful--I have found bugs, but only ones introduced by my previous changes. Let me describe in detail some of the changes I made and how I made them: 1. Make Emacs compile with CC="g++" CFLAGS="-fpermissive" This was harder than it sounds. In fact, I ended up writing a simple parser for "Emacs C", the unpreprocessed source code as it appears in the repository, and performing the necessary replacements automatically. As a side effect, declarations of the form int x, y; are rewritten to int x; int y; 2. Replace Lisp_Object in the source code My plan was to use JS::Value objects instead of Lisp_Object. In order to properly use SpiderMonkey, stack objects must be rooted: I've decided to use separate types for (a) stack values and values in structs that live on the stack (b) values on the heap (c) values on structs that live on the heap (d) return values (e) function arguments. (In order, ELisp_Value, ELisp_Heap_Value, ELisp_Struct_Value, ELisp_Return_Value, ELisp_Handle). While Lisp_Object values need to be protected, pointers to Lisp_Object need not, so there is a simple ELisp_Pointer type (which is currently bloated because it determines at run time whether it's pointing to an ELisp_Value or an ELisp_Struct_Value), as well as vector (resizeable arrays) and array (fixed size) types. Luckily, I was able to modify the C-to-C++ conversion script to determine automatically which of the replacement types to use for most of the ~10k instances of "Lisp_Object" in the Emacs source code. In fact, I decided to keep this approach, modifying the C source code as little as necessary, then turning each .c or .h file in the src directory into a C++ .c.cc or .h.hh file, then (ideally) not modifying the resulting C++ files. It's currently not quite clean that way. 3. Replace lisp.h The replacement, jslisp.h.hh, defines ELisp_Value etc. to be C++ types based on SpiderMonkey's JS::Value, which can be a non-NaN double, or an NaN-boxed object pointer, 32-bit integer[2], undefined, null, or a JavaScript symbol or string. I'm only using doubles, integers, and JavaScript objects. (So strings and symbols are JavaScript objects, including Qnil). Each object points (using the JS_GetPrivate pointer) to an unmovable structure in memory, which in turn contains a copy of the JavaScript value that represents it. This combines the disadvantages of a moving and a non-moving garbage collector, but it was good enough for this experiment. ELisp_Value, for example, is a rooted type which has a non-trivial constructor which registers the JS::Value it contains in a "root list" and a destructor that removes it. In ordinary code, you can otherwise use it much like a Lisp_Object. Apart from beginning with a JavaScript value, the actual constant-address structures are mostly unchanged (I moved some Lisp_Object struct members that previously weren't GC'd (because they didn't need to be) to the pseudovector Lisp-Object area so I could trace them). 4. Replace alloc.c Most of alloc.c is married to the current garbage collector and needed to be replaced or simplified, in order to leave memory management to SpiderMonkey. Instead, a new file, js.c.cc, contains the new rooting/tracing code: it registers a hook with SpiderMonkey's garbage collector which traces, directly or indirectly, all Emacs data except for stack values, which are traced by SpiderMonkey. 5. Stack unwinding Emacs uses setjmp()/longjmp(). While I think this code can be converted to use C++ exceptions instead, I decided it would be easier to make stack unwinding work with SpiderMonkey. The problem is destructors of intervening stack frames are not called when unwinding the stack, so we must find and destroy objects in unwind_to_catch. This turns out to be easily possible, though we violate the SpiderMonkey API by accessing fields in a private structure: we save a stack pointer in the struct handler structure, then compare it to the current stack pointer upon entering unwind_to_catch. We then walk the root lists to find all rooted objects that live in the intervening stack region and destroy them (and do the same for auto-rooted vectors, which work the same way but use slightly different code). 6. Calling convention The usual SpiderMonkey calling convention is that functions do not return GC types; their arguments are "handles", essentially read-only pointers to JS::Values. I decided to return JS::Value objects directly (except for being wrapped in another class), which opens up a race condition: If f1 and f2 are functions returning ELisp_Return_Type values, it's illegal to call another function g as g(f1(...), f2(...)). f1's return value will not be traced if f2 triggers a GC, so if it is moved there will be a segfault (or worse). It should be possible to further extend my C-to-C++ script to deal with this by automatically assigning ELisp_Value temporaries in this situation. I also decided to pass function arguments as JS::Value objects, rooting them in the callee instead. Both of these decisions are open to revision. 7. Misc Some unions were turned into structs in order to ease tracing them. Some structs had to be duplicated into a stack and a heap version. Many previously-unrooted (again, because they didn't need to be) objects were staticpro'd or added directly to the tracing code. ELisp_Pointer, a data type representing a pointer to a JS::Value, was modified to require explicitly-named methods rather than operator overloading to catch bugs. This introduced new bugs. Finally, after much debugging, Emacs showed me a usable frame. 8. What now? While I don't think it's right to have SpiderMonkey-specific code in Emacs, we don't need to: there's pretty much an automatic API between Emacs and its garbage collector that's good enough for SpiderMonkey, but can be trivially implemented by the existing mark-and-sweep garbage collector. I'd like to make that work, by making as little code as possible depend on the innards of ELisp_Value etc. I do not advocate switching to this garbage collection mechanism in the official Emacs, converting the official Emacs to C++, or renaming all Lisp_Objects in the official Emacs. I do advocate making the official Emacs compile with G++ with the -fpermissive option, to help further experiments. I also think that if there are other ways to make it easier in the future to switch to a more complicated garbage collector, we should investigate them, but I need to think about this more. The C-to-C++ converter seems potentially useful for other projects (my initial approach was to try coccinelle, but I never got that to work right), and should be extended to provide temporary variables automatically, at which point we can change the calling convention back to one that uses handles for read-only arguments. Using JSObject structures for everything is wasteful, particularly in the case of cons cells, which should require only 16 bytes each. I think it should be possible to modify SpiderMonkey to assign a unique tag to cons cells, allowing us to get them down to 24 bytes (car, cdr, and a hash value (we can no longer use the address because that might change). I'd like to get away from the dual constant-address-structure/pointer-only-JSObject approach. We could use JSObjects to store rarely-needed properties as JavaScript properties, and store only commonly-used data in the private structure. In some cases, we can forego a private structure entirely (cons cells). 9. Unimplemented This list is incomplete: - non-X environments - non-GNU/Linux environments - weak hash tables - finalizers - finalizing markers - threads (it's unclear to me whether this is possible) - modules - images and sounds - debugging/backtraces - dumping (I'm currently using CANNOT_DUMP=yes. Is that supposed to work? Because it doesn't without a few changes to the initial Lisp files.) (Again, I'm not sure this will ever work). - reduce warnings (-fpermissive produces copious warnings, most of which are valid and need to be fixed in the code. Right now, I'm ignoring them as long as the result works.) - remove -fpermissive - signal handlers need to be protected specially In the C-to-C++ converter: - operator precedence - global (not per-chunk) data, such as function prototypes - performance [1] - there's one place that uses "false" for "NULL", and garbage collection of markers is O(n^2) in the number of markers per buffer, which means it tends to dominate GCs in some scenarios (including my typical usage). Both are trivial to fix. [2] - JavaScript doesn't distinguish integers from floating-point numbers, but SpiderMonkey does. This is relevant because Emacs sometimes uses a floating-point argument to mean something different from the equivalent integer argument. Sorry this got quite long! Any comments, private or public, would be appreciated.
[EXPERIMENT] Emacs with the SpiderMonkey garbage collector, Pip Cet <=
Re: [EXPERIMENT] Emacs with the SpiderMonkey garbage collector, Stefan Monnier, 2017/11/24
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