#(at least for me idk about everyone else)
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also, i really find it interesting how people can genuinely go about saying "Well this group isn't attacked for their identity so they can't be queer " while then turning around and. attacking said group. for their identity. and exemplifying classic __-phobic tropes. It's really dumb. You are being the thing that you claim does not exist
#this post is about the current aro discourse nonsense going about but is absolutely more generally applicable.#aromantic#aro#idk about anyone else but i always find the aphobia at least a little bit validating? in a weird way. because they're always saying#'you arent queer if you arent oppressed' or whatever bs. so whenever they turn around and. and attack us for being aro its like#they're showing me (and the rest of everyone) why i must be queer. by their own logic
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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....
And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.
The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.
And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.
Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.
HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.
But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.
That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:
His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.
Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.
#see also: my grinding teeth when people disparage his circus origins#like the only thing its good for is colorful backstory and explaining his acrobatics#THERES. SO. MUCH. THERE.#theres so much EVERYWHERE in every aspect of his backstory and his preexisting comics and yet over and over we get#....what if we just ignored all that and did what the fuck ever as though this character has nothing integral to him or fundamental to say#to be fair my gripes with Taylor are not exactly interchangeable with my gripes with the previous runs#but I lump him in as an extension of them because while evocative of different SIDES of my ennui with these takes on Dick.....#the thing about Taylor's stuff to me (or the parts I read at least) is that its generic as hell while only retaining superficial elements#of Dick's character and stories in order to point to them and say see these are definitely about Dick Grayson. like....only in very surface#level ways. underneath that theyre basically generic superhero adventures that could easily be retooled to be about a pretty sizable number#of other characters. tbh with the whole alfred inheritance thing it honestly felt from the get go#that Taylor was more interested in writing a kinder gentler Batman like a Bruce from one of the animated shows like#The Brave and the Bold who gets along better with everyone else. even the way the Brave and the Bold largely exists to use Batman's#popularity as a star vehicle to platform his co-superhero for the episode lends itself to Taylor's approach in his NW run#with the central figure - only nominally DG imo - basically existing as a platform allowing for the drafting of any other character he want#to write in any given arc or story in a similar way to how Bruce is utilized in Brave and the Bold#anyway. idk idk. my issues with Taylor are not the same as the others exactly but also they are and also I just plain dont like the guy#so I complain about him at any given opportunity even when its not technically as accurate or relevant as it possibly could be#I Am Flawed. its fine though dont worry about it. its called being nuanced
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I have way too many alts that I keep to myself (which is why I generally refrain from posting them), but I'm going to ignore that habit for a moment just because I'm feeling particularly insane about this guy.
#silvis side characters#<--- been a while since i used that tag despite intending it to be for this specific type of char#i basically like to play sandbox with concepts for both screens and writing so they tend to become surprisingly developed#even if i end up not touching them again once im satisfied and have gained the outlet i wanted#... this guy and another connected to him has been unusually persistent however. surprisingly so. LOL#maybe i should post them more``??? but for some reason that feels weird cause what if i just dont use them again!!#idk why i feel like im setting up expectations i need to hold. literally no one is putting pressure on me to do anything its ALL in my brai#i mean its a bit because i know i got too much and thats overwhelming and therefore its not like i expect anyone to keep track of them LOL#im regretfully cursed with too much inspiration for too many things at all times and i will make it everyone elses problem just for a bit#anyway the reason i dont intend to make this one a more major oc for use with other people (for the time being at least)#is because he's so HEAVILY tied to another side character of mine in a way where im not sure they can be separated from each other.#actually you can see him now i realize its the viera in the first shot lmao!#i forgot to mention his name is yuzuru and thats about as much as ill inflict on anyone right now <333#i promise you i dont JUST have male midlanders as unbelievable as that might sound. anyway-#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#hyur#midlander#ffxiv screenshot#gpose#gposers#ff14#final fantasy 14#nabaath-areng
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the worst thing to ever happen to me was anomalocaris becoming mainstream
#like NO thats MY niche interest yall r fake#i remember back in the day when literally no one else knew about it and all of a sudden ONE tiktok about it gets popular and now everyone#only knows it for that ''i do my best😄😄'' video#yall r fakeeeeeee#at least theres more available merch but#still#yall dont get anomalocaris like i do#rave rambles#this is unserious if anyone couldnt tell#maybe not idk it pisses me off when people are like ''im the number one fan!!!'' when all their anomalocaris art references that damn#houston museum model#like come on are we for serious#anomalocaris
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So talking about amanda and angela wanting to kiss with tongue is normal but us saying damien and angela are looking at each other more fondly recently and thinking it's sweet is weird and we're freaks.... interesting.. it's almost like shipping real people isn't actually the problem 🧐🤔
#smoshtwt#smosh discourse#smosh negative#deciding to start keeping these out of the main tags so people don't get too annoyed#amanda and angela#damien and angela#my post#edit: I said I'm gonna keep this out of the main tags but people are being weird about people shipping damangela again#so I'm gonna put the main tags to expose the hypocrisy#smosh#amangela#damangela#please tell me. how is talking about how amanda and angela want to make out different than what damangela fans do?#if anything it's worse#I can't recall anyone saying damien and angela want to make out but you can say that about amanda and angela and it's normal and fine?#yeah right#yes I know it's a joke but I'm pretty sure any romantic thing said about damien and angela is ALSO a joke#(at least for me idk about everyone else)#I know I'm being aggressive at this point but it's just getting annoying#I just hate how everyone else can openly and proudly ship things and it's fine but when we do the EXACT. SAME. THING we're the bad guys
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i think sebastian would’ve grown up to be either a curse-breaker, healer, or professor. he came way too close to azkaban for him to realistically become an auror imo. my hc though is that he became the hogwarts dada professor and one of his students was dumbledore
#the age kind of works? every student in their fifth year during the game was born 1874-1875#dumbledore was born 1881#realistically dumbledore would have attended hogwarts with sebastian and everyone else#if he’s 6-7 years younger then he would’ve been either a 1st year when seb + everyone was in 7th#or he would’ve started attending the year after we all graduated#afaik there’s not much you need to do to become a hogwarts prof#like as far as i can tell if you get a job offer you could come back the year after you graduate to teach. i mean probably not but there’s#no confirmation so likeee. but i think he realistically could’ve graduated and then gone and taught when dumbledore was in 3rd or 4th year#idk i just think it’s a fun headcanon. partially bc i’m thinking what if seb + mc (+ ominis?) time travelled to when hp & friends were in#their 5th year. which i started thinking about bc phineas black has a portrait in the headmasters office and also at grimmauld place#and i thought that’d be funny. imagine being a portrait for like 80 yrs and suddenly ur students from 100 yrs ago when u were alive appear#ur most troublemaking students at that (minus ominis he’s not that troublemaking)#but the idea of sebastian teaching dumbledore would also be kind of interesting for this time travel scenario. at the very least it’d be#kind of funny. to me. also picturing sebastian and mc meeting the whole gaggle of weasleys. that’s also really funny to me#surrounded by garreth clones basically#anyway. this just turned into me rambling about sebastian and time travel. LOL#just to be clear btw (if anyone reads this far anyway) i’m not shaming anyone who enjoys auror sebastian or whatever#this is fiction do whatever you want. make him minister of magic for all i care. i was just mentioning it bc that’s why i don’t really enjoy#it. that and i just prefer him in a more research oriented career#although i can see the logic behind all of them yk? my hc is that he is a gringotts curse breaker for a few years#but he doesnt like it that much bc he wants more freedom. so he becomes hogwarts dada prof & does freelance cursebreaking on the side#he can cast a mean episkey though. maybe he fills in for the hogwarts nurse if needed. who knows 🤷♀️ def has saved some students a trip to#hospital wing though#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#hp#mecore
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I'm fine! I'm good! Yeah, I'm perfect / I'm fine! / I'm fine!
gifs by @loriane-elmuerto 🫶🏻. template.
tag list! (opt in/out) @jamessunderlandgf @auricfog @lavampira @queennymeria @chyrstis @derelictheretic @benwishaw @boldly-ho @spookyrares @devil-kindred @florbelles @roofgeese @ruvviks @strangefable @confidentandgood @leviiackrman @carrionsflower @simplegenius042 @thedeadthree @socially-awkward-skeleton @imogenkol @malefiquinn @risingsh0t @neonshrike @d-esmond @captastra @gothimp @statichvm @calenhads @poetikat @nonfunctioning-queer @ghostfvcker @dickytwister @inafieldofdaisies
#hi🫶🏻 so it’s amara’s bday today. Yes she is such a self insert I gave her Almost my bday#ANYWAYS#thank you lori for making these gifs so I could bring my girl to life a little more. They look amazing as always#idk what else to say about her. amara is such an important oc to me and i have no words#BUT YALL will get pinged again im so sorry j made two edits for her and I want everyone to see them so#I’m gonna be a little annoying lmao#my edits#oc: amara owens#I think I am gonna also reblog some posts. put them in my queue at least or something idk#I just think she’s neat
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things I wish I could relive for the first time again:
that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.
because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.
like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.
#this is currently about arcane but it's also every fandom i've been in since the dawn of time#there is so much political discourse about how the show handled the piltover zaun conflict and class struggle and i just#like i don't even know what to say besides. art doesn't have to provide the correct answer you know#it's not asking you to accept their explanation as the right one. it's just presenting a story. a scenario. a nuanced one at that#which of course the internet is the enemy of nuance as we know#especially in arcane i thought it was fairly clear that the end wasn't the bright shining future anyone hoped it'd be.#was anyone right in their actions? did anything turn out the way they wanted? or was it just as messy and gray as real life#we're living in such a myopic time for art where it's believed every story must take the correct stance or be invalid or even harmful#instead of just offering a perspective. a lived experience. a hypothetical. a story.#and when it gets to be headache inducing all I can do is take myself back to how I felt when I watched the show for the first time#and I came away from the whole thing being incredibly moved and captivated by the entire story and its nuance.#i had no qualms and no criticisms and i was very impressed with the depth of storytelling surrounding the political parts of the plot#as well as the character arcs. i guess people like to dunk on viktor's s2 arc nowadays and i just. shrug. i was blown away by it#for me at least i have nothing but pure love and admiration for art after i've viewed it. it's only after interacting with fandom#that the criticisms seep in and now i can't unsee it and even if i don't agree with it it still muddies my ability to enjoy the art#fandom is a curse in that sense. like i seek out art that i enjoy. i have no desire to make myself dislike that art. whats the point#why are the biggest haters of a piece of media the 'fans' of it idk.#me finishing a show: wow i love all the characters and the plot and the cinematography! I want to talk to others about how cool it is!#meanwhile the fandom hating characters to the point of death threats to their creators#after 13 years in fandom i can say this - if you don't need to join the fandom for smth then don't lmao.#you'll be able to retain your genuine enjoyment of the thing.#that whole 'if you didnt like what i made then make your own' philosophy people use on fanfic/fanart should be applied more#to actual published art too. you should be able to meet art where it's at and if you don't like what it's saying or how it looks then#just move on and find something else. another branch of the 'the greatest enemy of the left is the left' tree imo#a show has a lot of queer rep? bash it to the point of making the creators go into hiding for not doing it how you think it should be#no artist will ever be able to satisfy everyone's demands. they just want to put their experiences and ideas into the world#creators that try to do good get more vitriol than those who never try. they're scrutinized harder and judged more harshly#it's just. one of those 'real fucking tired of fandom' nights. the best cure is just going back and rewatching the source material#all on your own and falling back in love with it. just you and your genuine connection with the art.#anyway what happened to steven universe was unforgiveable and it really ruined fandom for me. like. yall don't deserve nice things
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ngl i always felt embarrassed as a kid on the Internet bc everyone would talk about playing video games when they were younger; meanwhile, i've literally never seen a 3DS (?) before in my life, and I've only started seeing nintendo switches irl like 4 years ago 😭😭😭 growing up, i only had access to my dad's work laptop and my brothers shitty, broken second hand PS2 that we got from our uncle to watch movies on -- and even then, i recognise that I've had it way better than most kids in south africa did, regarding technology 🥲 idk, i know this was a stupid thing to be insecure about (and tbf i was also a really sensitive kid who sorta believed everything anyone told me lol) but it's just kinda. yk. when everyone around you talks about growing up with every single console or getting these cool toys that were only ever available in the west, etc etc, you do start to feel a bit. embarrassed - especially when they talk about it like it's normal - and treat you like the weird one for not having even seen one irl, let alone own it, yk ? idk. i need to go bathe, i think sob.
#♡ my text#did anyone else from the global south feel this way too ?#like idk. i sorta feel like its different from a poor kid in the US/ europe who didn't have access to these things but still probably#at least knew what it looked like or played wigh it at a friends house or smth#meanwhile 90% of game consoles were like. literally mythical to me as a kid 😭😭😭#like what the fuck is mario kart. everyone talks about it n i just nod my head n pretend to know what it is#but i dont !!! i truly dont know what the fuck that game actually entails !!!#idk. idk what im saying
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Which version of Rick is your fav?
it's so hard for me to choose tbh. HOWEVER, I'd say Evil Rick





then I'd say it's C-137 and Memory Rick

I love how pathetic™ Evil Rick really is tbh. love that he's being controlled by his Morty. can you guess who my favorite Morty is?
#the only reason why Evil is above C-137 and Memory is because#Memory's design is something I don't really like in the style of the show#his fanart makes him look so much cooler but in the show he just looks.. unfinished?#idk it's weird to me. I love him outside of that though#and with C-137. I'M SICK OF HIM LMAO I AM SO SORRY#there are too many fucking episodes dedicated to this man. pushing everyone else aside just to have him yap about his dead wife#I love him so much but there's only so many times we can bring Diane up and not really develop her as a character but rather to boost Rick#and the show is Rick and MORTY yet all I see is Rick 😭😭 don't get me wrong I love this man#I just feel like we know more about Rick than the rest of the family#WHICH IS FINE IF THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR#and if they wanted to go in that direction so be it! it's fine!#I just feel like he needs less screen time or at least balance episodes among the family#cause even the most recent Morty episode is about Rick. it was so frustrating watching it cause it's literally MORTY'S fear hole experience#yet we're watching Morty's head canons about his grandparents#I also hate the narrative they took with Diane. only ever having Rick talk of her or others bring her up#it just doesn't make her a character but rather an extension off of Rick. that's how I'm feeling rn with the family#they're all just there to prop up Rick or something. super annoying#but that's about it. I'm not gonna continue my rant#unless you want me to?#idk if I even made sense but that's all good#rick and morty#rick and morty fandom#rick#memory rick#evil rick#C-137#Rick Sanchez
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god I'm so scared of this workshop im in rn
#i almost started crying in front of everyone last week and i got so stressed i couldn't be there for the entirety of#the class#idk i felt so ashamed by drawing was not coming out well and i was so scared I couldn't even think and work properly#on it i was cust constantly erasing shit because i felt so much shame for everything#and everyone else's were just so much better than mine and im not exaggerating that's just the truth#and im just scared of being the worst again idk what to do about this i just feel too much pressure ughh#i attended only one class i tried to like talk to people but when i said stuff they'd just fuckin. go silent and look at each other idk#i just felt so fuckign baaad ToT and it's haunting me im like lying in bed at night thinking about it and what im gonna do#ironically the drawing classes are becoming my least favorite#i just have too much anxiety aughh
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The romance in Cyberpunk 2077 is so badly done. It honestly feels like you're romancing everyone and no one simultaneously.
#more than anything it feels like a love story between v and johnny#which I love#but also#all the NPCs are like so flirty with you even when the relationship is supposed to be platonic#like with panam and kerry at least there are very subtle differences between romance and non romance#aside from the obvious lack of the sex scenes#which on one hand I like because it makes me feel like I'm in a sort-of romance with kerry even though I'm actually not lol.l#but it's still kinda odd lol#Idk about River since I've never actually done his quest bc I have no interest in meeting him whatsoever#but with everyone else it just kinda seems that way lol#cyberpunk 2077#johnny silverhand#panam palmer#kerry eurodyne#judy alvarez#goro takemura#viktor vektor
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i ate a cupcake recently without first spending five minutes talking about how logistically stressful it is to eat a cupcake, so. i am capable of growth
#i just don't understand how you're supposed to do it without making a mess#why would someone design a food that seems like it is specifically impossible not to get smeared somewhere?#like just design it differently idk??? but everyone else seems to be fine with it so i guess it was a fine decision and i'm the problem#this time i didn't want to say anything about cupcakes being stressful to eat because i was being given a cupcake by the person#who had made the cupcakes and also it was her birthday. so. would have been kind of a dick move.#instead i just unwrapped the cupcake very slowly to give me time to observe how other people were eating theirs#and then i decided i didn't like their methods and did something else#this makes it sound like i've never seen someone eat a cupcake before or eaten one myself but i have many times#i just have never liked it. and i keep holding out hope that someday i'll see someone do it in a way that makes sense#i want someone to crack the code so i can just eat cupcakes. i don't think they're very interesting but it would behoove me socially#to be normal about cupcakes. since everyone else seems so into them for some reason#food#my posts#that said i do know the wrongest way to eat a cupcake and that's the way my younger sister does it (or used to do it)#which entails eating the entire wrapper as well as the cupcake#so in my quest for an acceptable way to eat a cupcake i have at least ruled out several including that one
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Okay but can we talk about the book that John/The Entity was in before entering the eyes of a certain Arthur Lester?
#i don’t necessarily believe it was the king in yellow (the play/book)#cause like it doesn’t super make sense through how we get told about how he got trapped in it#not to me at least#but it also would be so silly for him to have been trapped in The King in Yellow (book/play) and for Arthur Lester to have opened that and#with that gotten The King in Yellow in his head#just like with everyone else who read said book/play#idk I think the whole thing is silly#malevolent podcast#arthur lester malevolent#john doe malevolent#the king in yellow#jermay thinks sometimes
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yapping
#my honest opinion of my own blog#i never took it seriously tbh#i just wanted to express how i feel and have fun#poor me im a tkker so yea i had to defend my viewpoint on that#anyway#i really like jk#(at the moment)#i’ve known about him since 2017 but the amount of attention ive paid to him or bts always fluctuate#and this is all strange because not too long ago i was like very queerphobic yea i was#which is very confusing#bcz i already knew i was queer but then i just went backwards bcs i was scared#im only out to one person#so ig blogging is just a chill way for me to express myself bcz idk any of u#im not scared of anyone here#there are no irl repercussions really#i just wanna be down bad in peace#thx#ik at least one person is thinkinf “why do u keep spammin and why r u down bad all the time” im 18 hope that helps#and#my sense of humor is kinda oddd#but its fine since some people enjoy it lol#tho some other ppl might hate me for it. not everything is for everyone after all#uhhh#what else#i try my best to restrain myself but i have a lot to say#a lot of things i dont really get to say in any other place#not to anyone i know#i can be a bit dramatic or argumentative or kinda just not thorough at times and tbh idc i prefer to have fun#i feel like i dont keep up with everything as much as other ppl or i mostly talk abt trivial things but tbh its stress-free to b like this#this could be a good pinned post disclaimer or something but no just analyzing myself
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ill fitting skin
#Drew this to represent really loud confusing feelings I've been having about my own identity#don't. read these tags if u don't wanna hear that#i don't feel like who i am like ... matches who i am on the outside which is strange but idk how else to describe it#it definitely has to do with how i was raised and the expectations placed on me by my parents and peers and my community#but i feel like everything i do and every part of who i am shouldn't be coming from me#and i know it's not true. or not always true at least. but i feel like everyone must feel weirded out by that#i never really meet peoples initial expectations and i know that doesn't matter but. y'know#and every thing i do makes me feel sick because i feel like im not supposed to be doing it and im supposed to act different or better or#more normal and everybody knows that and it's freaking everyone else out just as much but they aren't SAYING it#any.ways. i need to see a therapist when i move out#my art#digital art#vent art#self sona#bright colors#eye strain#ok to rb#porkscreams
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