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yukirayu · 1 year

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A Haunting Shadow, a Drifting Ghost (A Meta about Madarame)

In this thread, I'll be looking into when and why Madarame shows himself to Towa, and all other things related to it. (This is also available on Google Docs, if you want to read it there instead for convenience.)

I'll start by saying the following:

I love Madarame, and I find him to be a very interesting character. That being said, I also get why many don’t like him. And for this meta, I'm not wearing a pair of rose-tinted glasses when I analyze him and I’ll say things as they are.

Everything you see here is only my opinion. I do my best to explain based on what the visual novel showed us, but we still all have a different way of interpreting things.

By the time I made this meta, the progress of the translation of Madarame’s drama CD has only been on the first track, so some things here may likely have been discredited there. But based on the little I can infer from what I had listened, what’s covered in the drama CD isn’t likely to coincide much with what I’ll discuss here, but then again, I could be wrong.

If I quote anything from the visual novel, I opted to rephrase it into third-person POV because that’s how it originally read in the JP version anyway, and doing so helps provide more objectivity.

Be warned that there are spoilers abound here, so be warned before you read any further because if you have not yet gotten to his route, I advise that you play his route - or rather - that you finish all the routes first before reading this.

And with that…

Setting the Stage for Madarame’s Appearance

Madarame’s Route

When we all first played Taku and Rei's routes, we at least got to see Fujieda. But no signs of Madarame at all; at most, just a few mentions of his name. His route does answer why, eventually, but... not entirely.

In Madarame's route, what happens differently? Ikuina commits suicide.

This alone changes the atmosphere of the rest of the route, since it greatly affects both Towa's mood and his relationship with Taku and Rei. Both always had reservations with what Towa does as the artist 'euphoria', but besides patching up his wounds and the occasional lecture, it was more or less a normal routine for them. At least until Ikuina, because before him, none of the previous models died.

It's why they become a lot more grave and cautious with their approach to Towa, because they feel that he may have started to take his tendencies too far. At the same time, however, Towa is overcome with an itching urge that he cannot fathom, let alone figure out how to quell.

Both clash like oil and water, and it results in Towa drifting further away from Taku and Rei even though they try (and fail) to help him. They mean well, but they don't know the best way to help him, or even just how to get through to him.

And so, Towa is on his own.

The final route hints that Towa was overwhelmed with a frustration that neither violence nor sex can truly sate because he's actually bothered by the fact that he, in a way, took a life.

But he never realizes this, because he needs to remember his past in order to do so. And his own subconscious is determined to keep certain memories hidden and forgotten. So without an answer, and with every day that he can't get an answer, a release, or any form of support (that he wouldn’t reject), Towa becomes more frustrated and vulnerable in equal measure.

Even the bar manager comments on how Towa starts to look more like his old self using the same word: vulnerable.

Because some things play differently, Towa never ends up getting curious about his past (or more specifically, his childhood), so his thoughts remain hazy as long as his mind lacks something to focus on.

Shortly after, he is suddenly handed over a red windproof lighter, which hints to him that Madarame - after years of being presumed dead - is actually alive. With this and the rumors of a “ghost” that’s been haunting the Deathmatch Area, Towa easily puts two and two together.

Like his childhood in Euphoria, Madarame is also a part of Towa’s past that he would rather forget. In this case, however, it's a more conscious decision, rather than an unconscious one brought about by his mental trauma trying to keep his sanity intact. As such, while it doesn't exactly help abate that discontent inside him, wondering whether Madarame is really alive or not still (in a way) did its job in keeping his mind preoccupied on something else.

In time, it would soon lead to when Madarame eventually shows himself to Towa.

Fujieda’s Route

In Fujieda's route, Towa is in a similarly miserable situation, though it has less to do with his model committing suicide (which he doesn't even learn of until much much later), and more with the mental stress he starts to suffer from after receiving a package containing relics of his childhood.

While the effect of the change of events on Towa’s relationship with Taku and Rei are nowhere near as bad, there's nevertheless some distance between them in the last route that leaves Towa (mostly) on his own. This is because this time around, one can't help him while the other won't help him with what he wants.

In Rei's case, it's only because he doesn't know what's going on and thus truly can't be of much help to Towa even though he wants to. But even then, he has his own problems to deal with, namely his father and being burdened with the man’s debt. As for Taku, Towa finds out that Taku knows more about his past... but is determined to keep it a secret at all costs, and not even any threats or call-outs will get him to spill anything. And we all know how Towa responded to that.

Unlike before, Towa knows why he’s in a state of unrest this time. Someone out there is compelling him to dig up his past, but the voices in his head tell him something which echoes what Taku also told him: “There are some things you’re better off not remembering.”

And again, he tries to quell his frustrations with violence and sex, by either picking a fight, or sleeping around with whoever’s willing to give it to him. However, while he’s left to his own devices, he has a clear-cut goal in his mind. He has a focus. He’s still vulnerable, but he’s not completely lost this time.

Even then, just like before, Madarame leaves a hint to Towa that he’s still alive. And naturally, Towa also gets concerned about Madarame’s presence. But his interest in knowing more about his younger years and about his mother overshadows that concern.

Heck, even the visual novel outright tells us (through Sakaki) that everything about Madarame will be on the back-burner in this route. If anything, the man only gets to hog the spotlight for five minutes maximum, as we all know.

And even before he shows up, Towa had already gone through many vicissitudes in his journey to uncover more about his childhood. So by the time Madarame shows up, the only reason why his presence really alarms Towa (besides the standard shock at how Madarame isn’t really dead) is because he has endangered not just Taku, but also Rei.

That, and it doesn’t take too long for him to vanish as quickly as he showed up.

The (Other) Reason behind Madarame’s Presence

“If you were too far gone, then I had no intention of involving myself with you.”

Is basically the answer to why Madarame never appears in Taku and Rei’s routes.

However, this answer is only a half-truth.

Some of his remarks confirmed that he had - to some degree - checked on Towa a few times, and there is proof for this. While it’s easy to miss, there are instances in the earlier parts of the game where Towa pauses and looks around, feeling like he’s being watched.

Towa’s usually right on the money whenever he feels like someone’s stalking him, so it’s highly likely that someone was watching him from a distance. That being said, we never know who it is, and the visual novel never confirms it either. Based on everything we know by the endgame, it could be Eiji keeping tabs on Towa for Sakaki. It could also be someone from the Takasato-gumi trailing Towa on Toono’s orders (at least, if you take Taku’s route). Or it could be Madarame, trying to see for himself if Towa has lost his fangs.

And there are two scenes which further support Madarame’s statement about how he has stalked Towa at some point.

One is the additional cutscene during an Exploration, which you get after completing Taku’s route and gives you the additional Clue needed to get Madarame’s route. Before bumping into Sakaki in said cutscene, Towa took notice of something… or someone else.

While Towa was on his way to Roost, he caught sight of a guy slipping away from a crowd. He recognized that man. His restless gait carried him toward an alley.

He didn't get a good look at the man’s face, but he was sure he knew him.

But right as Towa was about to follow him...

The other is a scene from Taku’s route. While Towa and Rei are having a meal outside, Rei points out that someone’s been watching them from across the diner, but neither he nor Towa could see the guy’s face, what with it hiding behind a newspaper.

With a tense look on his face, Rei set down his spoon and leaned across the table to whisper.

"Do you know that person? The one reading the newspaper?"

Towa followed Rei's gaze to the counter, where a man sat while reading the paper. He had it spread out so widely, Towa couldn't see his face.

"Is he a friend of yours?"

Towa, "No..."

"Well, he keeps peeking at us from behind the paper. When I looked back at him, he went straight back to 'reading'... but he's still been glancing at us. ….What's his deal? Is he a stalker?"

Towa scrutinized the man at the counter, but he never looked up from his paper. Then he rose to his feet, paid his bill, and left the diner.

[...]

More importantly, who was that man just now? If Rei was to be believed, then he was watching them for some reason.

And it wouldn't be the first time a fan of 'euphoria' stalked Towa. In that case, it would mean he really was watching Towa.

...No, he could be overthinking it. It was entirely possible the man wasn't even looking at them on purpose.

Given that Towa would recognize Madarame’s face even years later, if the mysterious stalker is Madarame, it would make sense for him to keep Towa from seeing his visage.

In Taku and Rei’s routes, Towa never really suffers any special stress-induced episodes that make him go on his own version of a rampage. He just lives life like he always had, and only gets involved in either Taku or Rei’s troubles later on. So in Madarame’s eyes, Towa - being at peace (for the most part) and not really in the mood to bash in some skulls - is “too far gone”, which is why he’s absent on both routes and is only mentioned in passing a few times.

But that’s the thing. Besides the injuries he got from his sessions with Ikuina and Asakura/Kirihara, Towa is none the worse for wear. And this is enough cause for Madarame to decide to not bother with Towa any longer in the first two routes.

What’s easy to miss here is that it’s not just about Towa lacking his old rebellious streak. Madarame isn’t just trying to see if Towa has already lost all traces of his old self or not. He’s also on the lookout for something else.

When Madarame told Towa on what basis he went with to decide whether or not he would go after Towa, he still omitted something.

What was that part he kept quiet about? Besides the mental and emotional state Towa is in, that question can be answered with another question: what did Towa still have in both routes that slowly erodes and disappears in Madarame’s route?

A support system.

In other words, someone to rely on. Someone who he subconsciously trusts and can go to. Someone to look out for him at the end and at the start of the day.

And it’s hard to say that he still has that in Madarame’s route; since while Taku and Rei do want to help him, with Towa pushing them away even before Madarame entered the picture, he may as well have had no one left.

In Fujieda’s route, he’s still on his own, but the circumstances are different. Again, Rei - besides not being able to do much for Towa - has an issue of his own to handle. Taku already has his whole ordeal with Toono - but being caught red-handed as a secret-keeper of Towa’s past ended up adding fuel to the fire, leaving Towa alone in his pursuit of his past. And until much later in the game, Fujieda is no more than a distant and reluctant ally.

Still, in Madarame’s eyes, in (at least) the early parts of the last route, Towa appears isolated and left without anyone to rely on. Not to mention, he’s in a near-helpless situation because of the strain he’s in from attempting to unearth a dark chapter of his past. Hence why, even though Madarame didn’t “bump into” Towa to test whether Towa was still someone who could punch back after being punched, still left a clue that he’s alive.

So to sum up, Madarame only reveals his presence to Towa if the following conditions are met:

✓ Towa has traces of his spunkier and younger self

✓ Towa is distant from his friends

✓ Towa is alone and vulnerable

Option: Pursue or Abandon?

Note: If I sound redundant by this point, it’s because I’ve already more or less discussed this topic in another meta I previously made where I compared and contrasted Madarame and Taku. I’m just going into more detail in this particular meta (or at least, I think I am).

Prelude: Yet Another Reason

So there’s the matter of when Madarame reveals himself to Towa. But there’s also the matter of whether he continues going after Towa or not.

I listed a while ago the three conditions that needed to be met in order for Madarame to make his presence known to Towa. Again, to make his presence known.

Even after he and Towa meet face-to-face, Madarame’s hunt is far from over. He’s still gauging the situation. There’s still something else that he’s observing.

In other words, as for whether he will continue pursuing Towa or decide to give it up, a secret fourth condition needs to be met.

This is something that he can gauge from when he first shows up in both his and Fujieda’s routes.

In his own route, it’s only a given that he goes all in. In Fujieda’s route, he calls it quits instead. For the latter case, it’s only natural because he’s not the love interest there, but that’s not all.

In the scene where he appears in the Deathmatch Area, there are a lot of interesting things to observe up to when Madarame suddenly decides to just make his leave, since they all lend credence to what I said earlier: that Madarame wasn’t telling the complete truth when he told Towa that he’d only find him worth going after if he still had his old fighting spirit.

Looking at his route alone, it is hard to see what other motive Madarame would have, given that the route would mention how he’s a man who’s true to his desires. He seems collected, sure, but his mercurial nature is also reflected in how he does whatever he pleases whenever he feels like it. He’s not a man of restraint, either in his actions or in his words.

But it doesn’t mean he’s someone who would never lie for his own benefit.

As discussed in the meta I mentioned earlier, there was when he tells nothing to Towa about his past in his route, only hinting that Taku knows something but is keeping it from him… but then he does the opposite in Fujieda’s route. He doesn’t tell everything, but what he does reveal to Towa is enough for him (and Fujieda) to make progress with their investigation.

Given that Towa becomes distressed upon learning the truth, but the full scope or just a partial detail, it’s strongly hinted that whether Madarame divulges anything or not is done with the same goal. Since Towa’s investigation of his past results in some distance between him and Taku and Rei, Madarame seeks to sever those bonds completely.

This makes up one half of that secret fourth condition. As for the other half, we’ll have to cover a few other points first.

First Encounter: The When, Where and How

To get there, let’s first recall in detail the setting of when Towa and Madarame first meet face-to-face in both routes, and I’m not just talking about the room they’re in. This is important.

In Madarame’s route, Towa was forced to meet with whoever called him alone. He had no choice since Taku was held hostage, and the caller made it clear that Taku is as good as dead if Towa tries anything funny. So Towa does as he’s told… and gets knocked out. When he comes to and realizes that the culprit is Madarame, Towa also finds that he is in one of the many dilapidated buildings of District A, and is in chains too. He’s alone and powerless, with no one else to turn to or call for help.

In Fujieda’s route, Taku is held hostage as well. But it just so happens that Rei had also encountered Madarame, since he was acting on the Takasato-gumi’s orders at the time. And both are present when Towa shows up, so even though Towa still is at a disadvantage, he isn’t on his own, especially not after Fujieda tracks him down.

The difference of the situation also shows the stark difference of the chances Madarame has in getting what he’s after.

In his route, he’s the only one Towa interacts with, hence it’s easy for him to poke and prod Towa (by that I mean punch and pin down), and the more Towa gives in to Madarame’s provocations, the easier it is for Madarame to string him along and manipulate him. Yes, Madarame can be manipulative, and he has proven to be such. This is a fact, no matter how much we may like him.

In Fujieda’s route, however, he doesn’t have much of an opportunity to do that to Towa. He can still fan the flames, but with the other three love interests being there to protect Towa regardless of the condition they’re in, Madarame doesn’t have much freedom of movement, for lack of a better word.

You can say that the aforementioned details only point back to the part I said about Towa either having a support system or not. But besides that, what else stands out?

It’s whether Towa is on the way to recovery, or to regression.

In Love with Your Wounds, Physical and Mental

It’s hinted early on that there’s a story behind Towa’s scars and it’s not just because he finds it fun. His brand of masochism doesn’t come without a reason either. When we first played the visual novel, we all anticipated at some point that it would be from something traumatic, and true enough, Fujieda’s route confirmed it as such.

To sum up, just to make my point later much clearer, his mother allowed him to be tortured and violated and mutilated, and it resulted in his masochism, which is his means to both cope with something that he suffered (even if he cannot remember) and to gain autonomy.

What do I mean by autonomy? As Fujieda explained (albeit with different words), all those times Towa was cut and beaten and raped, he had no control. But if he sought it out and tried to find entertainment and pleasure in it, he could then say that any violence inflicted on him was done on his own terms.

Besides that, there’s one other thing I should point out. When Maya died, Towa’s personality changed and led him to become wilder and more volatile. A short story even confirmed that his sudden switch of demeanor happened right after Maya’s death, since before that, he was timid and well-behaved. Not to mention, it was when Towa’s personality was more turbulent in nature that he got recruited into the Takasato-gumi, which is likely when he and Madarame also met each other.

When they got to know each other more. Even if, most of the time, they ended up fighting, and I mean that in both senses of the word.

Now, Madarame made it pretty clear that he wants Towa to be like how he remembered him. Like how he used to be when he was at the gang. Or, in other words, when Towa was at his most damaged.

And speaking of damage, let’s bring up the shootout that resulted in Kaga’s death and the loss of one of Towa’s eyes. Towa had admitted that the experience had left him a bit more detached. This is confirmed not just in Madarame’s route, but in Taku’s route as well.

From Madarame’s route:

Madarame: Since the day I came back to Shinkoumi, I've been watching you. You'll take a hit, but you won't fight back. You're like a worn-out punching bag. So what changed you?

Towa: ...It was that fight that made me stop caring about anything. I lost Kaga, I lost my eye, I lost you... and this is what's left.

And from Taku’s route:

Towa thought back to that day. To that shootout that cost him his right eye.

Taku had his ruptured eyeball removed at Shinkoumi General Hospital.

Towa personally didn’t miss it much, but the experience still had changed him on a subconscious level.

One can argue that Towa only says that he feels he had nothing left after the shootout because, by that point, he had chosen to keep his distance from Taku and Rei out of the belief that he no longer belongs with them and that only Madarame could understand him. But either way, that experience had undoubtedly affected him.

And yet, even then, he still had friends who had his back. Even though they couldn’t really give him the proper support that he needed to fully resolve his trauma, they still could help keep him on the right track… more or less. So Towa, while not exactly doing too great, is still doing relatively better than before.

While his journey to find his past is taking a toll on him in the physical, emotional and mental sense in the true route, it is established in the Euphoria ending that what awaits him once he’s confronted the ghosts of his past is closure and recovery and self-fulfillment.

All of which he is the farthest away from in Madarame’s route.

The Punchline?

All this, leads up to the latter half of fourth condition, to what Madarame ultimately wants from Towa. The first three only make him interested in showing himself to Towa, and the fourth is what will determine whether he continues going after Towa.

You may ask, why does he even want Towa even after all those years? One reason is that he loves Towa, or at least a certain version of Towa, because he feels that the most damaged and violent kind of Towa validates his own existence.

“I love the look in your eye when you come at me again and again. You don't flinch away; you always come back begging for more. You're like me: deep down, you revel in fighting to the death, and nothing else matters to you.”

“We're perfectly compatible.”

“With you, [I’ll never get bored].”

“I’ll never get bored.”

No matter what kind of person you are, it’s almost always a given that you want at least one other person who would understand you. More often than not, that person has to be someone who mirrors you, who shares your viewpoints. And even someone like Madarame wasn’t immune to having that desire.

In fact, his Madness ending only even happens because by being asked way too many questions, he felt that Towa had failed to become that person he wants him to be if he can’t understand him from the get-go, from just a look or a few words. And that reason was apparently more than enough to set him off and drive him over the edge.

Though that aside, as I said before, Madarame knew he could only have the kind of Towa that he wants if Towa never comes anywhere close to resolving his trauma–which Madarame is sure to know about, even to a degree.

No matter how he got to know about Euphoria, whether he knew it for a long time or because Eiji told him years later, he still knew about it. Anyone who knows Towa and that much about him can draw the connection between what went on in the mansion, the fact that Towa came from there, and why he was the self-destructive masochist that he is at present. Or in other words, the person Madarame knew him as.

Yet, the brutal and tragic truth is, Madarame prefers him that way.

Based on the interactions I’ve seen on Twitter or on Discord, many of us are in agreement that whether we like the two as a pairing or not, Towa and Madarame are undoubtedly the kind of couple that are unhealthy for each other and bring out the worst of each other, but that’s also why they’re so compatible. Even if it’s only when Towa is at his lowest and at his worst and most destructive.

Final Decision: Abandon (Fujieda’s Route)

As such, Madarame has no interest in Towa not only if Towa can’t go back to his more aggressive self. When Madarame says “Guess you’ve changed,” a part of that sentence is kept quiet and unspoken. He actually meant to say,

“Guess you’ve changed for the better.”

Even in Fujieda’s route, Towa still gets to show that he has some bite by fighting back against Madarame. However, he fought back to protect someone else. That alone clued in Madarame on the fact that the Towa in front of him is getting further and further from the vulnerable and dangerous yet damaged goods that he remembered him being.

With him having people to care for him, with him caring enough about people to willingly take a hit to protect them and not because he was trying to seek getting destroyed inside out, Madarame already can get the hint that Towa is, in his eyes, a lost cause.

Even in the other routes, where Towa doesn’t face his past, he’s still bound to head to a better place, both mentally and emotionally. But it’s a place Madarame would rather not be, and where he and Towa would be more incompatible.

So, he loses interest and gives up, and thus makes his leave. Towa is no longer in his mind for another minute, neither is he given much thought by Towa anymore.

Final Decision: Pursue (Madarame’s Route)

Of course…. none of the things above happen in Madarame’s route, where he has the opportunity to continue, chooses to continue, and thus gets the outcome he wants, without anyone to get in his way. At most, the others also end up being pawns in his game with Towa.

In the penultimate route, Towa is completely at Madarame’s mercy. But credit where credit is due, because it’s not as if Towa immediately surrenders. In fact, he still struggles and attempts to resist. But there’s so much that even he can do against a man who is indomitable and not just because he has the strength of ten men.

Towa knows that he cannot get a read on Madarame, which is more than enough for the man to be able to wrap him around his finger. He knows this, and thus tries his best to not fall into the other’s trap. However, Madarame knows him all too well. Or at the very least, since Madarame only focuses on a specific version of Towa, knows what makes the younger man tick. And before Towa realizes it, Madarame has already got him, hook, line, and sinker, with every beating he would inflict, and every provocation he would give.

Towa knew Madarame was goading him. If the man would go ahead and treat him like a plaything, he could get into that. But no—he wanted Towa to voluntarily do so, to which he didn’t want to. And yet...

Deep down, Towa got a thrill out of it. He was at his limits, physically and mentally... and as a result, he had no more self-control.

Madarame was capable of giving him the pleasure he wanted. They were a perfect match. Towa’s body was well aware of this, and it found the temptation hard to refuse.

Madarame punched without hesitation. He fought to kill. And he enjoyed the violence from the bottom of his heart. Even if it resulted in his own death, he didn't care. Naturally, he didn't care if his opponent died, either. That was the kind of game he played.

His desires matched Towa’s on a fundamental level. It was impossible for Towa to not be able to relate.

Still, Towa didn't want to let him win. It was because Towa could relate that he refused to take Madarame's orders. He admitted that a long time ago, he felt comfortable in Madarame’s presence.

But even then... too much time had passed. Towa had changed. He didn't want to be his pet. He just wanted to exist.

Even as Towa feels resentful and angry about how helpless he is, that trauma-induced masochism rooted in his being also starts to crave the pain, the violence and the humiliation because all of them are what he has been used to for a long time.

Unlike now, he was only occasionally exposed to such things in the past. Sure, he often sought out one-night stands, but they were still nothing like Madarame’s level of ferocity. That aside, he also had Taku and Rei keeping him in check. This time, however, with Madarame, no holds are barred every time Towa would get brutalized. Whether he’s punched or penetrated, he subconsciously finds himself becoming more and more addicted to it, like a drug.

And as some may now, this is something that can happen with abuse victims. Even after they've broken free of it, should they get subjected to that same violent treatment even for just a short amount of time, their subconscious may make them cling to it again. It’s not just a response of their survival instincts. Because, when abused enough, the victim feels that whatever it is that damaged them is all they need to have.

Even though Towa hasn’t been gone for even a quarter of a year, Madarame was able to get to him. Enough so that in a month, Towa already feels that he can’t go back anymore. That even when given the chance to leave, and twice over, he doesn’t.

The narration may say that it’s because he no longer needed Taku and Rei. But Towa isn’t being honest with himself here. If he no longer needed them, then he should no longer care for them.

Yet when Madarame was about to beat up Rei, Towa stopped him. Even though his voice was ragged and dry and hoarse. Even though he was already so beaten that he could snap like a twig if Madarame decided to retaliate by punching him again.

He cares for them. In truth, he knows he needs them. He does want to be with them. He just feels that he can’t. And his time with Madarame made it that every second he will be spending back with Taku and Rei would both be foreign and frightening to Towa now. So he leaves. And it’ll be easier to forget the pain of leaving them behind if he convinces himself that they no longer matter to him. Which is why, on his way back, he kept his mind focused on Madarame. And after that, he tried his best to regard Taku and Rei as no more than mere afterthoughts of a past that he (believes he) no longer needs or can return to.

Also, in Towa’s second chance to leave, the only reason Madarame even lets him go is because he knows that Towa’s departure will be only temporary. It’s just to let Towa know and see firsthand that nothing is the same anymore. No matter how hard he tries to adjust, he will forever be a stranger in what should be a familiar land. And with Towa feeling that he needs only the hurtful treatment, any kindness and support he’ll be getting will just terrify him now. And no matter what Taku would say to him, whether he completely fessed up or decided to say quiet or not say enough, Towa would eventually cave and leave because he doesn’t feel like he can go back anymore.

It was an inevitable outcome, one that Madarame had anticipated.

Towa walked in... and stopped short. The first thing that entered his vision was Madarame.

Just like the day Towa left, Madarame was lounging in his chair. His arms were folded, and he was smiling... almost like he had known Towa was coming.

As Towa stood there, frozen, Madarame cocked his head in a smug manner.

“Did you have a fun little adventure?” His Smoke slowly swayed. His tone suggested he had always known Towa would come back.

And he was right. He knew full well that their world wouldn't be enough for Towa.

Did he kick Towa out on purpose to make him see it?

"......!" Rage exploded inside Towa.

Until this very moment, Towa wanted nothing more than to be with Madarame again. But now that he was there, he didn't know how to feel anymore. Time and time again, Madarame’s arrogance suggested to Towa that he thought he could control me.

But what was more infuriating was that Towa walked right into the same trap every time.

Gritting his teeth, Towa charged at him. With all his strength, he swung his fist—but of course, Madarame dodged with ease before punching back.

"......!" Towa hit the ground hard, and a moment later, Madarame had climbed on top of him.

"Get off...!" Towa tried to push him off, but he didn't budge.

He grinned down at Towa. "You know, it's funny—I had a feeling you'd be back any moment now."

He grabbed Towa’s hand, brought it to his lips, and bit down on the fingers.

"......!"

"You remember now, don't you? You remember what kind of man you are."

Towa, "......"

"Is playing house with your little friends what you truly want? No? You want pain and suffering. Biting each other's jugulars and drinking the blood. That kind of thrill.”

His whisper sounded almost seductive. Towa squeezed his eye shut.

Madarame was completely right, too, which infuriated Towa all the more.

Everything Madarame just said? He wanted it. He craved it.

This entire scene said it all. Madarame is a brute, but he is no dumb brute. He can be skilled at subjugation when he wants to be, and this is one such way to bend someone’s will to his own. Does Towa still have some autonomy? Yeah. But it’s one that’s dependent on Madarame now.

All long-time BL lovers would see a similar tactic used before in another classic work. Which is that, you may ask? That would be Ai no Kusabi. For context to those who don’t know, let’s just say that in that work, the seme literally keeps the uke as a pet in a society where artificial humans have all the power and wealth while the natural-born humans are left in the dregs. Usually, pets are artificially made, but the uke is a natural-born human and is rebellious. Eventually, for various reasons, the seme lets him go back home. However, his motive is made very clear.

Go back, Riki. Go back to the slums, stretch the weight off your wings. It's been three years. You can greet your old friends. You can even get back together with Guy.

However… you'll certainly realize the length of three years you can't bury. And then you'll know. The weight of freedom and the thirst of your blood.

There is no pet ring left to bind you. Go, and come back, Riki. I'll give you only one year of freedom. Go, and make certain with your eyes, with your body, that you are already a stranger there, and return.

I… will merely wait. Until that moment in which you truly become mine. That moment.... (Translation source)

And that is not really all that different from what Madarame did with Towa.

So, to sum up, Madarame wanted the old Towa back. So he captured him. Beat him. Dominated him with actions and words. Let him have a false sense of freedom just to let him know that he can’t be free anymore.

He wanted to bring back Towa’s fighting spirit. But he also wanted to distance Towa from his friends. That, and ensure that Towa would be that same feisty yet fragile product of trauma of a childhood no one should ever have. Without friends, without a safe home, Towa could be turned back into how he remembered him being.

In his route, he chose to pursue and he played the long game with Towa, a game he ultimately won.

Immutable… Immutable Indeed

And after all this, what’s left to say is that Kabura-sensei really knew what she was doing when she titled Madarame’s story “Immutable”.

If you look up the word online, what does it mean:

Definition: unchanging over time or unable to be changed.

Synonyms: unchangeable, fixed, set, rigid, inflexible, unyielding, unbending, etc.

At first, you realize why the chapter is named as such at how Towa noticed that even in the years that passed, Madarame had not changed one bit where his personality is concerned since the last time Towa saw him. And he would be right.

Then you also realize that the word also describes how Madarame is someone who can dominate, but can never be dominated. Even when Towa subjects Madarame to an Interrogation, he’s never the one with an upper hand during the conversation. In the end, it’s Madarame who still gets to call the shots. But even Towa aside, there was still absolutely no one who could intimidate Madarame.

The only one who came close to an exception was Kaga who managed to never back down in a fight with Madarame. But what’s interesting is that Kaga wasn’t like Towa. And Kaga was nothing like Madarame either. The only thing they both had in common was that they were true to themselves. But even then, Madarame still had some respect for Kaga. Even if he brushes it off as if he never cared for the man, anyone who says that someone’s death was unnecessary is already saying that they held that person in high regard.

That aside, one would think that that was all the chapter title referred to. How Madarame had not changed at all, and how he could not be changed, or broken, nor could he be stopped if he was set on doing something.

But in Madarame’s story, when talking about his character, the word would focus most on change. And what is easy to miss is that Madarame isn’t just someone who has never changed. He’s also someone who does not want to change.

More accurately, he does not want things to change at all. Much like how he doesn’t want Towa to change.

To him, time had frozen at the night when Kaga died. Everything else beyond that is nothing to him, and is no more than meaningless rabble. It’s part of why his chapter even starts with a picture of the full moon that loomed over from the sky on that same night.

But isn’t it ironic that he acts in such a way? Especially when he’s the one who said that the past and the future do not matter, and all that’s important is the present. The here and now. Yet the Towa of the here and now is not one who he would ever acknowledge or accept. He only wants the Towa of the past. He wants to bring back what they used to have.

Thus, he ends up contradicting himself. For all his talk, he cannot move on from the past. He’s not truly living in the present, not when he wants to reclaim that part of the past.

And if Towa is bound to move forward rather than turn back, then Madarame isn’t willing to give them a chance. I even made a poll about it before to see what you thought of the possibility of Madarame, in slightly different circumstances, deciding to give things a shot. Anything that doesn’t conform to how he would like things to be, which was how everything was back in the day, will never be of interest or import to him.

Yet at the same time, it also shows how he truly is immutable.

His will. His personality. His desire. It all traces back to immutability.

To constancy. Or, depending on how you view it, stagnancy.

Because when it all comes down to it, change - of anything or anyone - is something he’s just averse to.

Closing Remarks

I’m pretty sure that in spite of my best efforts to organize my thoughts, this post is as disoriented as Madarame himself.

Still, I have tried my best, and it’s already been weeks since I started making this. At this point, it’s now or never, and so I had to finalize it as best as I could and share the document publicly. But I may go back and reorganize and revise a few things once I’ve calmed down because expanding and completing this meta was a very turbulent process.

Once again, I wish to stress that I do not hate Madarame. But I understand if some do. But no matter your opinion of him, I really hope that this meta will not invite any discourse whatsoever.

And so, I can only hope that you’ve enjoyed reading this, no matter if you like him, dislike him, or are just plainly neutral.

Well, that and understand everything I’ve just typed here because I still doubt that I’ve made any sense whatsoever. (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

#slow damage #fen writes meta

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hirugaymi · 1 year

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Sasamiya's guide book rant: a bit upsetting

Sasaki to Miyano is a very casual read, a simple, cliche BL story with gorgeous art and interesting main characters that hooks out from beginning to the end of the romance and gets you to a satisfying conclusion.

But to a person who's been hooked in this silly story like I'm committing substance abuse, the real key of Sasaki to Miyano's storytelling are its side characters, and I am not happy about what I found.

The Slice of Life genre, and consequentely shoujo manga/BL manga tend to rely on the side cast for most of its lighter moments: jokes, exposition and expanding the story.

Harusono-sensei has a habit of discreetly releasing the lore of these side characters in contexts that extrapolate her main manga story unless said lore has influence over one of her MCs.

Merch products with little story snippets, captions for her birthday art posts, little comments over her Fanbox exclusive livestreams, artbooks, light novels and Volume Extras all paint this interesting landscape of characters much richers than you'd firstly assume when picking up SasaMiya or HiraKagi to read for the first time, and as an avid fan of this Manga Universe she's built, I was anxiously waiting for the SasaMiya guidebook in hopes of getting to know one of her most recent additions to her cast: Shirahama Kyouji.

Offically debuting in the manga by chapter 42, Shirahama was previously established as Tashiro's childhood friend from the basketball club in the First Year's Novel. In 2019, when Tashiro's birthday art was posted, his name was revealed to the readers for the first time through a quote-retweet from Harusono clarifying that no, she had not invented a character out of the blue, this guy's always been Tashiro's companion. In 2020, he made another appearance in his friend's birthday art, later then becoming an established member of Miyano's now group of four friends.

In the guidebook, like she does with all her side characters, Harusono establishes his gimmick: Shirahama is a boy who wants to be popular with girls and is upset at his state of perpetual loneliness.

His current function in the story is to be the one guy who's more aware of romantic social cues, considering Kuresawa's is constantly talking about his girlfriend, Miyano is the main character who's dating for the first time and Tashiro is...

What the fuck is Tashiro doing?

Being the guy with no girlfriend was Tashiro's thing at the start! He's the one whos compained about wanting to live some kind of high school romance even if he studied in an All Boy's School (ie: the Bazaar Drama CD), he's the guy who was afraid his friends would leave him for their S/O's.

By Shirahama's official debut I started noticing a process I could only call "straight man-fication" of Tashiro's character. The author quite literally transferred his gag to Shirahama.

I abhor this decision with my whole heart, not because I don't believe Tashiro can be anything but a funny character, on the contrary, he's proved in both his novel chapters that he can be interesting and funny, specially if he's interacting with his narrative foil.

Enter Hanzawa and the contradictions of his hinted romance storyline

Harusono has established pretty well who Hanzawa is by the latter half of SasaMiya, her most developed side character apart from Hirano, who has his own manga, his family issues and his overall aversion to romance when it came to his own life made for an interesting one-time side character beyond his gimmicks with the rest of the cast.

Hanzawa's role in Tashiro's chapter in the First Years LN is to guide him into believing he can and wants to be responsible for something for once. Tashiro's role in Hanzawa's later development is to show him there's need for balance in everything and that the man deserves to rest for a while instead of trying to work his brain into repressing his personal issues.

This is a fine dynamic on its own and that, in my honest opinion, never needed to be turned into the hinted romance the manga has been giving us in the newest appearances of these characters. In the guide book, these two characters gain a whole pages long fully colored extra about the two of them missing each other.

Tashiro doesn't feel like himself when he's nostagically reminiscing the departure of his upperclasmen, his internal monologue feels divorced from the guy we cam to associate with a carefree and lighter nature. But that's fine, isn't it? Giving the carefree guy a serious moment is a classic Anime Character Development move.

Tashiro's been serious before, in moments mostly associated with Hanzawa and with worrying about him (the Movie extra where he gives him a juice bottle).

What bothers me the most is what Hanzawa becomes here.

In this guide book comic, Hanzawa's attachment to his high school life is comically exaggerated as he repeatedly refuses to leave his classroom at the last day before the Third Year's graduation ceremony and has to be forcefully dragged by Hirano.

When these two out of pocket moments for these characters appear associated with each other by matching internal monologues, they feel OOC to me.

I do not think Hanzawa's story needs a romance. I absolutely do not think Tashiro's pair should be his overachiever upperclassman.

I think Harusono's haste is apparent when you look at what these two characters became and associate it with Shirahama's persistent appearances in the story. It feels contradictory to all these established characters, but specially unfair to Shirahama, since his role in the narrative as Tashiro's companion is lost and he becomes a flanderized mess of exposition dialogue and Miyano's personal tutorial to dating life.

Not the first time she does that to a character, don't get me started on my poor boy Ogasawara.

If the guide book's a guide to anything that's bound to happen in SasaMiya's last volume and the upcoming spin-off, I don't think Hanzawa and Tashiro (or poor Shirahama, he doesn't deserve this) are on a good path.

I love SasaMiya and this has not hindered my enjoyment of the series at all, but it does hurt a bit, specially considering their individual potential.

#sasaki to miyano #sasamiya #bl manga #manga analysis #i just have a lot to talk about this one #you had a perfectly good aromantic character in your hands maam #“I hope you die” is weak. “I hope one of your favorite authors butchers one of your faves and you can't do shit” is real and it hurt #im not saying ppl who like the two of them as a pairing are wrong #i just personally enjoy them as senpai/kouhai and nothing more because their solo potential is much better #im still recovering from her straight up admitting she pushed ogasawara to the sidelines #MOST PPL DONT KNOW THE BOY'S AN ORPHAN #im just upset

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lanatusnebula · 5 months

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I Want To Like Aeolus

I'm going to type "Helios" because I played a fan translated version of the game so I could avoid the eng voice actors. (I refuse to buy anything else Capcom releases related to Megaman because I physically own most of this stuff anyway LOL)

So, so good points about Helios;

he has a cool head on his shoulders (deisgn-wise)

he had model H (my favorite MMZ character is Harpuia and ZX I love Model H big)

I like his face and hair! It's super silly but the more I look at it, the more he reminds me of SOMEONE I can't actually put my finger on. It's funny. And he has... one earring? Hanging off the ear mechanic things? Not sure what to call them... audio enhancement device? Vestibular Enhancement Piece? I wish they got some nerd to official label the reploid/cyborg body parts...

He's pretty neat in that regard, haha!

Model H is super fun in ZX! I enjoyed it in ZX. In ZX it is my favorite! So good on him that he's a biomatch for pocket Harpuia.

From here downward i will slander Helios's name and everything he will ever stand for.

nb4, "dude if you dont like him, then ignore his existence like you do with everything else you dont like" bro you dont understand this is a struggle i must endure for the sake of my own completeness (self-torture)

This whole this is biased and abandoned by reason, but I will put on a brave face and embarass myself anyway...! ò 0 ó

Points to touch on;

his design

his writing

his personality

biomatching with Model H

background

moveset

Design

I hate his design so freakin much. He has a sleeveless vest (ok), the weird skin-tight extra padding (sure) a skirt attached to ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (ok) and PANTS (dress pants). Each of these things on a character in the Z series would be like "eh whatever". But looking at how everyone else dresses, I always wondered "what happened HERE???". I'm hoping that it was a mistranslation of the concept art to the official marketed stuff, and they added volume to the skirt when it was supposed to be attached to the torso piece. I just can't mentally comprehend his layers otherwise? Like I'm picturing he and Ciel had the same thing going on, except he has dress pants instead of tights.

I'm more than aware that fashion in the Z/ZX series is a bit unhinged and abnormal. That it might even be lore related or somehow touched on by the fact that every human is a cyborg. Maybe he's a reploid and we can't see it? I'm holding onto the hope that Atlas and Helios are reploids who hide this fact. (Unlikely)

His Writing

Because I am an ugly Harpuia fan, I was expecting more than the game actually gave. This section is my personal gripes that have no real basis for complaints. They are, as a whole, completely unnecessary and ignorable.

Siarnaq has a backstory that is briefly mentioned in his little disk thing. Okay!

Thetis has some sort of motivation that hints that something else could be there, but doesn't have a backstory in in the disk thing. Okay!

Atlas has a backstory that is briefly mentioned in her little disk thing. Okay! (she has been ruined by the fanart in select places and thus she does not exist to me LOL - same with Ashe tbh)

Helios has... a shallower motivation than even Thetis *and* lacks a backstory. I mean, sure I guess? I am biased towards Thetis because I figured for a reploid to have that much of an interest in oceans - something *happened*. It isn't even suggested that anything did happen, it's just... a good set up for me to fart out fandom crap. But Helios... I... man.

Man.

"Everything is imperfect and full of foolish fools I will kill everyone." His personality is so god damn bland. Harpuia was the highlighted guardian for most of the MMZ games and I ended up really enjoying how he evolved and how he struggled in the drama CDs. There was a lot to work with! Part of me thinks, "yes well Fefnir had jack shit going for him and you'd die for him". I DIG HIS DESIGN A REALLY LOT. But THIS GUY I simply struggle with! I want to like him because bootleg model H biomatch but I got nothing to workmwith! And that frustrates me. :(

Bland personality (I like Death the Kid ffs), shit motivation, no background - I know this is grounds for "blank slate, do what you want" but I just don't operate like that for this guy specifically.

His Personality

This section is biased.

Helios's personality doesn't really go beyond "I am a pretentious snob." He has... four lines? Maybe? I can recall four instances of dialogue off the top of my head.

"I don't have time for this lol"

"Fuck you, you imperfect crackhead" (I played as Grey).

"Fuck everyone on this planet for being imperfect."

"Self sacrifice is beautiful for friendship."

Maybe I can work with these? They are not obviously direct quotes, and are obviously played up for the hahateehee, but... I dunno man. It Should be enough to work with but I can't get into mindset of doing something with it.

Biomatching With Model H

This one is a little tricky. I assumed the biometals were either broken, muted somehow, or ditched by whatever personalities lived within them. Model Z kinda suggests to me that it IS the original inside of the biometal, but it's pure speculation based on a few lines.

I understandnthe relations some of the MegaMen have with their biometles, right

Atlas is powerhungry, which can loosely be connected to Fefnir in a very idiot way

Thetis has a "childlike innocence with attached cruelty" that we can poke ourselves in the eyes and say Leviathan had. Also ice water go brr

Siarnaq is a freaky little somethin ninja who is the complete opposite of what we assume Phantom is like based on the extremely limited dialogue he gives us. (but is substantially more to work with than what Helios gives us)

For Helios, we have to accept the "pompous homogeneous ruler mentality" as Harpuia's link. Which I don't get. What is the point of the entire Z series then? Aren't we supposed to look at Harpuia's growth and go "oh he actually is dedicated to his cause but was stuck in some muddy circumstances"? He had pride, absolutely (thinking about his post-repairs in Z3) but it's such a small part of who I thought he was personally? Granted, I did not write the game. I have no say in this; pride could have been his very essence. I just thought it was... justice.

We can say Helios is very much connected to justice - that he feels there is a sense of justice in nuking the flawed beings off this planet. (which is somewhat skewed by the fact that humans get bot'd after a while - what age? 13??? - and are basically cyborgs or robots themselves. So in a sense, they're already leaving behind their imperfect bodies) But... the super secret ending - the fact that he is present AT ALL makes no sense. If the goal is to put an emphasis on human bodies in the future, then... why is Helios present for this? Humans are the epitome of imperfection - we know this. It's blatant. It's why they do these mechanical enhancements to begin with.

Helios can't even commit to a cause right? I know all the MegaMen are exceedingly braindead and that's cool. But at least the others COMMIT to it. Thetis doesn't go "I'm gonna eliminate an entire race for the ocean" and then piss in the sea. Atlas doesn't go "Power is everything." and then break down crying and throwing away her biometal to embrace her weakness. Siarnaq doesnt go "HYPERFOCUSING ON TASK AT HAND" and then hold hands with everyone at the amusement park with a smile. THEY COMMIT.

Helios is stupid. He doesn't commit. Not if that is the truest ending leading up to this ZXC they planned.

His Background

Helios has no background. Okay. That is fine. Thetis doesn't have one either. Two focusing on the present and two focusing on the past.

But what could his background have been? Aristocrat? Poor? Feral child? Living in squalor? No parents? Abusive parents? Was he training to be one of the Sage Trinity? Albert came out of nowhere right? Maybe anyone qualifies - clearly they don't do background checks on anyone.

Maybe he was a sword enthusiast? Maybe the sword plays a part in this? Maybe he idolizes Thomas and felt his methods weren't extreme enough? I feel like the sword is very important to him as a character.

But why didn't they elaborate? They spent so much time making the Floating Islands a Shit Stage and Ouroboros absolutely mind breaking they didn't think to go "maybe we should add a line about his sword that he never actually uses." Are the writers andnstage designers different people? I don't actually know. Might be in the credits. Sure doesn't feel like it in ZXA.

His Moveset

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

why is model zx's reach so short

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#text post #lana please shut up

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meimi-haneoka · 2 years

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"With hindsight" Part 1 - a Yuna D. Kaito analysis because I won't be over the new chapter for a good while

Alright, I said it in my commentary/translation differences post for Chapter 70, but I'm far from having finished analyzing and saying what I wanted to say about what transpired from this last chapter, and since I need an outlet to vent my thoughts otherwise I'm going to implode, I'll start this post right away. To be honest this is just a collection of scenes from the whole story that I will be revisiting with the hindsight that Chapter 70 finally gave us. Scenes about Kaito, specifically. I'll try to give what I think is the right interpretation, but of course these are just my thoughts on the matter.

Drama CD n. 1

I will start not from the manga, but actually from the Drama CDs. The Drama CDs are "canon" to the manga storyline, because they insert themselves perfectly among the manga chapters, and they show us some "unreleased scenes" in the shape of audio recordings. This above is the extract of the scene that features Akiho coming home right after her first day of school, and her first meeting with Sakura. Now that we know what Kaito wanted to do...this scene takes such a tender connotation.... I mean....he welcomed Akiho home with sakura flavored tea to celebrate her meeting with Sakura....isn't that sweet??? Momo of course had to tease him about it, but for him it was such a pivotal element to his mission. And now I understand why he asked Akiho "it came from you?" when she said she told Sakura she wanted to be friends with her. He never forced anything. He only created the opportunity for them to meet and click together, but he pinned his hopes for them to get along in destiny and in their similarities. Because you know, his plan was perfect in his head, but if Sakura and Akiho couldn't get along it would've been all for nothing. He couldn't force Akiho to become a sister of someone she didn't love to begin with. And he sounds so interested, so eager to listen to Akiho's talk about her first day of school. He's genuinely glad to hear her so excited about her new friend. In this extract we also get glimpses of how Kaito was still learning to laugh properly, and that's another detail that crushes my heart. He has such a dead stare, when he was in the Association. Or we get the mention of how important, fundamental it was for him to obtain Eriol's house. Because he needed it for its magical protection properties. He needed it to protect her. And he was so nervous about finding an hindrance there. I can say thank you to Eriol for not leaving any spell inside that house, hahaha 😅

Drama CD n. 2

More Kaito tring to create "chances" for Sakura and Akiho to meet and bond. Just like tring to give a little "push". Although, Momo lectures him on the fact that there's no need to push things that way, that eventually Akiho and Sakura can become friends even without tricks... And the thing Momo hinted at, before trailing off? Yea, we always go back there. His limited understanding of love and relationships. Especially when they touch him. But he really tried to do his best with what he knew. "I have to make it work, somehow"

This is something different, though. This was one of the first attempts from Momo to make Kaito try to reflect on the reason why he's doing all of this. First, pointing out that he became quite informed on all kind of trivial things that he couldn't give a damn before. She mentions the character bento he made for Akiho. That's definitely something that goes beyond a butler's duty. He shrugs it off with a ridiculous excuse, so Momo tries again. She tries to make him realize that he changed. "No, I'm not that good at this" is a way to negate that. "No, I haven't changed, this is just job". And so Momo insists. He needs to friggin' realize it, he must do it by himself otherwise there's no meaning to it, but he has to. "Is this only because of the forbidden spell?" "Yes" "Just that?" Kaito doesn't answer. And serves the wine. That's when you know Momo made him uncomfortable. He doesn't say "Yes, just that" because something deep down inside of him is kicking and screaming the truth, and looking at how much he adores Akiho, he wouldn't try to deny that. But still, he dodges the question and that makes Momo irritated.

Damn, these hurt. Akiho, thanks to the synchro with Sakura, experienced her same dream and even heard the ominous voice. The one that now we know belongs to the Association, and warned Kaito of his destiny if he dared messing with the artifact. Here Kaito tries to cheer Akiho up because he thinks she's scared that something might happen to that "Alice", aka Sakura. To think that warning was actually for him.....I bet he knew. But since she heard it related to Sakura, he assumed she was scared because of that. Again, he tried to protect the bond between the two girls. And when he says "I will never allow that to happen", that was the biggest clue that he didn't intend to harm Sakura. Through the years I've always thought back to that phrase. He kept her in high regard because she would be the one who would fundamentally save his dear Akiho and make her happy one day. He would've protected her too, if necessary. Momo takes the chance again. The opportunity it's too good because gosh, here he is so serious and so fired up, he needs to realize who he's doing this for and why. And yet, Kaito not only doesn't understand, but also denies any deep involvement passing it off as "just what I decided to do" and then storms off the room with an excuse. When pressured about that matter, Kaito runs. And here my heart breaks because Momo has seen tragedies happening before, because of that book...and she didn't want to see another one. Not with these children in particular, these kids she cherishes so much. Now you understand why she cried in ch. 70?

"It's my job" - vol. 3

Now we switch to the manga. As soon as Kaito gets introduced, CLAMP are set in showing him as a polite, skilled but also distant type of person. So, merely a few panels after we saw how sweetly he told her she's never a bother to him, we see him breaking Akiho's heart by stating that this is job to him. Nothing could be worse for Akiho, who's used to be considered a burden by everyone. And yet. That's a lie that he's first and foremost telling to himself. Cause this is infinitely easier to bear if he pretends he's only doing it because it's his job. I'm not saying he's consciously lying - he doesn't want to peek in his heart, as Momo said later on. He's refusing to. Cause what he might find there might make this impossible to carry out.

"I'm glad about that" - vol. 4

Huge hint here. Kaito goes to pick Akiho up at Sakura's home, and on the way back Akiho tells him how kind Sakura is, and how she cares for everyone. Kaito asks "even for you?" and Akiho confirms happily. While his smile might have looked like it had a streak of shadiness, here, after chapter 70 it magically doesn't appear like that anymore. It's a sincere, kind smile. Kaito is glad that the two girls are bonding, and particularly that Sakura seems very well inclined towards Akiho. His bet with destiny seems in his favor, now. Sakura might indeed become a good sister for Akiho. That also explains his almost exaggerated reverence when he earlier called Sakura "Kinomoto-sama". That was honest respect for her.

"My name is Yuna D. Kaito" - vol. 4

I've always, always wondered about this scene. WHY, why did he go out of his way to introduce himself to Syaoran? Without even masking his powers? Was he challenging him? Wasn't it better if he stayed in the shadows and avoided him at best of his capacity? No. First of all, he wanted to know for himself who this famous "Syaoran Li" was. If he was a decent person, since Akiho would have eventually to be around him a lot, after becoming Sakura's sister. But also because......this meeting set off all of Syaoran's alarms, he contacted Eriol immediately to check on him etc. Kaito villainizing himself with Sakura's entourage was a test to check how efficient their protection network was, in case Akiho needed it in the future. Because, being part of the family, if anything (namely, the Association/Clan) still found the way to harm her, they would at least be there instead of him to protect her. His smile is so kind here....and now we know it's sincere.

Kaito's pocket watch - vol. 4

Leave me alone, I look at this page now and I can't help bawling my eyes out. Akiho of course knew how important that watch was to Kaito. She didn't know why, but probably by the way he always had it with him, she inferred it. And it became basically a symbol of him, for her. So much that she wanted to try recreating the pattern for the decoration of the cake roll that she would give him later. She's so observant, especially with him. To think that now....that watch is in her hands.....all damaged, broken....just like him....and that it will certainly lead her back to him...........OKAY LET'S MOVE ON

"Towards that time" - vol. 4

JESUS CHRIST the expression he's got here. It must be one of the sweetest he's ever had (also, the whiplash from the older character design is big). Momo had just being revealed as "being alive" and asked him if "that time" (WE KNOW NOW what time that was) was coming anytime soon...and while looking tenderly at his watch, he said that the cards (important "ingredient" of the magic he wanted to activate) were gathering more and more, and leading them to "that time". He's so glad, once again, that things are looking good so far. He seems like he's thinking "soon, she'll be free".

"Please...laugh like that again!" Vol. 4

Finally, the confirmation of Kaito's wholesomeness in this scene. First of all, how truly excited he was to open and eat Akiho's cake roll. By now we all know what kind of issues he had with food "previously": he fed himself with energy bars when he was little, couldn't care less how food tasted, and shunned most of Lilie's attempts at making him eat something different. Even when trying to find something he liked, the maximum he reached was "I can eat it". He wasn't excited for anything. But here, here we can see how much he loved to receive something from Akiho, baked directly by her. Even if people surely thought he might have just pretended (believing he had who-knows-what ominous plan to use her in the end), you could actually already find your answers in the shape of his speech bubbles. They're all bubbly and excited, especially when he says "it's delicious". Guys, knowing the flashback of chapter 60 where he couldn't find anything he really liked, this scene takes on a huge meaning. He finally defined something as "delicious". And of course, it came from Akiho. And thanks to how strangely "in tune" he seems with his true self (maybe because Akiho's present sparked true happiness in him?), we also have the rare "laugh scene". This scene often has been mistaken for Kaito laughing at Sakura's troubles, as if her troubles with the Cards amused him in a wicked way. Even here, we get the confirmation there wasn't any sinister kind of vibe to this laugh, it was just the laugh of someone who found the situation involuntarily cute (indeed, he apologizes with a blush right away, and a blush it's not something you normally summon at command, far less with someone who's still learning to manage his emotions). Akiho's "Please laugh like that again!" leaves him speechless, for a moment. It's the same suprised face he will make all the times Akiho will try to express her feelings towards him later on. Always that same, foolish, astounded face. He can't really believe someone would care for him. And his little smile right after, in this scene, suggests the thing warmed his heart and made him happy. ...alas, that also made him even more fired up to bring to completion his plan, as the scene that ensues right after this one suggests.

The dreams - Vol. 4

Same scene, this is the first time that Akiho let the readers know that she's been having dreams based on Sakura's experiences with the Clear Cards (and this is where I'M SURE that everyone thought "Kaito wants to give Akiho Sakura's magical powers, that's why she's dreaming of them"), under the guise of Alice's adventures. But it's definitely not the first time that she tells Kaito about this. It seems like a thing that's been happening for a while. We'll probably find out in the next chapters what these dreams were for in the grand scheme of things, personally I have several ideas but none of them seems to convince me enough, the only thing I know is that Kaito seems pleased that Akiho experiences these dreams so maybe they're connected to his plan (either for the play or for the life after the re-writing of the memories).

"Don't worry...I'll be by your side" - Vol. 5

Dear god, he always looks at her with such kind eyes. Always so full of love. Especially here, after she had her first synchronization with Sakura, so intense that she was about to pass out. Akiho had the opportunity to "channel" the vision Sakura was having in that same moment, and saw someone wearing the robe of her clan (this is how we find out for the first time that robe belonged to a clan and she was part of it). She was visibly distressed, and Kaito gently coaxed her to sleep, to rest. To be honest the situation with the dreams with MCF is yet to be clarified, so I won't push for an interpretation or the other, but I am inclined to believe Kaito wasn't particularly keen on having Akiho experience these kind of dreams. After all, the less she thinks about her abusive clan, the better. What he really was interested in was that she could experience the "Alice" dreams, not these ones that made her only extremely worried.

Confrontation with Eriol - vol. 5

Certainly, the most discussed and criticized scene. Because Kaito here didn't have any qualms in "attacking" directly Eriol. Always at the last moment, of course, because Eriol finished pretty much spilling anything he knew of Kaito to Kero and Yue by the time he interrupted them. Kaito will always be like this, even further along the story, when he decides to intervene. He really needs to be pushed into a corner to do so (and that's also an evidence of how he really doesn't enjoy nor he's inclined to attack people or cause problems). I always reiterated this however I could, in fandom spaces. Of course, he's not here to f*ck around. His goal is serious. He's staking his life on it, so if he needs to use strong methods, he will. However, it's not really clear what he intended to do to Eriol here. My idea is that he was just trying to destroy the communication (which surely must have been highly magically reinforced) between Eriol and the Guardians, but not cause to Eriol directly any harm. We see the staff cracking (cracks that are "healed" as soon as Eriol destroys Kaito's spell - one of the spikes breaking is an anime-only scene), maybe he wanted to break his magic tool to prevent any further intromission, but that's it. We don't see any bolt hitting Eriol or anything like that. He wasn't directly harmed. The fact that we see Eriol so debilitated for months is just because he depleted his magical power in order to counter Kaito's interruption, and that caused extreme exhaustion. Kaito is that strong. But, pay attention, Eriol afterwards will say that certainly Kaito got the same backlash from that attempted interruption too. After all, Eriol got his magic halved, but he's still a pretty formidable magician. So Kaito must have used lots of magic to "break in". But, as Eriol inferred from the rumors he heard of Kaito, he simply didn't show it and didn't care about the backlash. We have seen him faking to be completely ok while having heart attacks, do you think something like this could've fazed him?

Inverse dreams - vol. 5

Right after the confrontation with Eriol (maybe he was exhausted himself, but perfectly pretending he wasn't) he returned immediately to Akiho's side to be there when she woke up. Back then I was so mad at him because he promised to be by her side and then left as soon as she fell asleep, but with hindsight he was just, again, thinking about her and in her interest. She's constantly at the top of his priorities. Interrupting Eriol and ensuring that he wouldn't interfere with his plan would've allowed him to save her. Unfortunately, Akiho had a scary dream. Not "sad", but precisely "scary". And that's when we see for the first time Kaito becoming alarmed. Because Akiho saw her usual Clockland dream turning into something scary and she even heard a voice. Pay attention to her retelling of the dream: Alice meets in Clockland lots of strange creatures and inhabitants, she lives lots of curious experiences...she even sees a mirror capable of copying magic....BUT THEN...Akiho heard a clock's ticking sound growing louder and louder, and heard the sound of something breaking somewhere. Then, a voice (and this is where both Momo and Kaito grow immediately alarmed): "You can't come back anymore". When this chapter was released, it wasn't long that Syaoran and Sakura had that "date in the sky" thanks to the newly created Mirror Card, so we all thought that she simply saw the events that had just occurred with Sakura, as usual. But...pay attention...doesn't it remind you of something? Yes...this is exactly how things went in the story Kaito prepared for Clockland. Alice meets the inhabitants of Clockland, she visits and see curious things, but then there's the whole mess with Kaito and Syaoran using the two Mirror Cards....so what about the clock ticking sound and something breaking somewhere? Did Akiho have a dream of one of the possible outcomes of Clockland? Especially cause from her words and the panel, it's inferred that differently from other times, this Alice looked like Sakura. She doesn't say it aloud (in the very same scene of the Drama CD, she does), but to Kaito it's apparent that Akiho saw someone else other than her, and so it could have only been Sakura. Was something supposed to happen to Sakura? Kaito comforts Akiho in one of the sweetest scenes between the two, cause he can't stand to see her so worried. The smiles between the two, so tender, really tug at my heartstrings. Especially cause...he knows what "you can't come back anymore" refers to. I am just thinking whether Akiho dreamt of a future in which she went berserk in Clockland, and absorbed Sakura, hence the one who could not come back would be her in the end... Momo's warning that this dream could very well turn out to be true does nothing but firing Kaito up even more. I have the impression that he would've protected Sakura too, if necessary.

"Sacrificing something important" - Vol. 6

Momo basically told us Kaito's past here, and it was a big moment of revelation for the story. Finally we got some insight in Kaito's background, ever since he was a very small child. Why? Because it'll be important later. The reason why he acted how he acted, and accepted to take on his shoulders all the burden of such a self-sacrificing mission, is all here. When people accuse him to be "stupid", or ignorant because he doesn't understands Akiho's feelings (nor his own), they have to keep well in consideration what they told us in these pages (and further). This is also the very first time in which Momo confirms to the readers that Kaito is sacrificing something important in order to activate a "dangerous magic". She was meaning his life, of course, but also his relationship with Akiho.

"No matter where I look for them...I wouldn't be able to find those memories" - Vol. 6

Ah, g*ddammit. This scene hurts like a thousand bricks in the face now. Oof. Let's see...there's a lot to unpack here (and luckily it's the last feature for this first part). Big mess outside Sakura's house, Akiho's book is about to open up, she's already on the brink of losing her conscience and Kaito stopped time to prevent this mess from going any further. We find out that when Kaito picked Akiho up earlier on, he briefly investigated Sakura's house, finding out all the peculiarities about it (Nadeshiko's barrier, which at this time he still didn't know it was her doing) Now we know why he did so. He was checking out the place where Akiho would be living after he activated the forbidden magic. He had to make sure that it was a good place, and it was. This barrier he found was protecting the people inside, so it was perfect. We also find out that with a (questionable but harmless) trick he also checked a bit of Sakura's memories (probably in connection to the fact that he had to record Sakura's memories too, inside the Time Book). Momo makes sure to criticize him for that, and that's mostly where the "your personality is warped" goes to: sometimes he can be quite weird or inappropriate with the way he goes about things, but never to the extent of actually harming people. This will repeat again when he'll choose to use a "smiling" spell on Syaoran, later on. Compared to what this formidable magician is capable of doing, it's rather silly.

But the topic of reading Sakura's memories leads Kaito down a painful road. Because while he could ascertain that Sakura indeed lived a happy life with a wonderful family and lots of lovely people around her (thus making the situation ideal to insert Akiho in there and leave her in safe hands), his dear Akiho never had any of that. And he gets lost in this train of thought. Even if he tried looking for that kind of memories in her mind with the sweets he used with Sakura, he'd never find them. Because they never existed in the first place. No kind family, no happy memories. What he saw in Sakura back then was both reassuring but also a punch in the gut for him. This is another proof that Kaito isn't merely trying to fix a mistake to ease his conscience. He loves her, cares for her, and can't accept how much this poor girl had to suffer by the hands of the same cult that ruined him too. In short, he wants to make her happy. And all of that heartwrenching feeling goes in that hand that slowly, timidly, almost uncertainly tries to caress her face. I am convinced he's suffering along with her because he knows all too well what it means to live your life in loneliness. And even though he pretended he was completely fine with it, that cold, hollow feeling left its mark. Molded him. Conditioned his life and behavior. See, the biggest "irony" of all of this is that he's already making her happy, the happiest she's ever been, but he just can't fathom that because of his self-loathing. It is so heavy that it makes him blind to both her and his own feelings too. Of course, all this storm of feels doesn't go unnoticed to Momo, who takes immediately the opportunity for a comment, hoping to spark in him the understanding of where all those painful feelings come from: "You should see your face, right now". It was certainly something that he never had for anyone else before. Him, the one who couldn't care less about others and forming bonds with them, is now suffering for someone else he holds dear. And this one bond he formed is so powerful that is changing everything of him. I'd daresay that the hardest part of all of this is that, when he accepted the "Seal of D." at the very beginning of the journey because he was just a kid, he had nothing to lose and couldn't find a purpose in life, but now the time he spent with Akiho changed everything of him, included that "I have nothing to lose". No matter how much he fought it, the bond he tried to recoil from still naturally happened by itself. Because that's what happens when you spend time with others and have experiences together.

We'll explore this particular aspect better in the second part on this analysis, when his body will start literally to mutiny against him and his stubborness on its own.

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #yuna d. kaito #akiho shinomoto #clear card arc #yunaaki #akiyuna #is it too soon to make a retrospective?#I feel like we can more or less make one with all that transpired from chapter 70 #this is mainly to show people that the signs were always there all along and the plot twist makes perfect sense #it wasn't pulled at last minute as I've seen someone say around omg #and I forgot the most important tag #Welcome to the Kaito Educational Channel

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la-hannya · 2 years

Note

"SeSsRiN iS cAnOn, GeT a LiFe AnD mOvE oN"!!!! cit.

Rumiko Takahashi NEVER said that Yashahime/Sessrin are canon, Sessrinners are living in their own delusion as usual because litterally every canon source tells otherwise but of course they prefer to ignore this truth. Rumiko, after Yashahime was out clearly stated that Sess is Rin's "hogosha" aka guardian/parental figure and in her recent interview also clearly stated that her series, ALL OF THEM, are over. She never acknowledged Yashahime as Inuyasha's canon sequel, we were never told by whoever to consider Yashahime part of the Inuyasha canonical storyline as if Rumiko herself wrote it unlike J.K.Rowling did with the Curse of the Heir that unfortunately is canon. On the contrary, on the Yashahime OFFICIAL WEBSITE is clearly stated that Yashahime is nothing more than Sumisawa's au scenario. Even the author of the YH manga adaption explained on a Twitter post that his work is merely his PERSONAL INTERPRETATION of Yashahime. So basically it's a doujinshi inspired to a fanfiction. These Sessrin pedos stupidly believe that given that Rumiko approved these works means that they're magically turned canon, but just so you know she needs to approve everything related to Inuyasha because of legal rights. She also approved the movies and the drama cds (remember the Inukik one?) but this stuff is never canon and never will be. Toriyama also had to approve Dragon Ball GT but it's still not canon. The day Rumiko will wake up and publicly announce we're supposed to consider the YH series and manga as canon then it's gonna be set in stone, but canonical sources tell otherwise and contraddicting themselves now would embarass and make them look like clowns who're not able to make up their minds. So no, not gonna happen. Not now not ever, sorry. Also, Rumiko never remotely hinted in her CANON story that Sesshomaru and Rin would be lovers, nor that Sess's feelings for her were remotely romantic when he showed to care for her. On the contrary, she always called out pedophilic behaviors in her story, when Miroku asked that 11 yo girl to birth his kids, all the other characters were disgusted as it should be. And Rin had exactly the same age when Pedomaru proposed to her in that disgusting drama cd that again, wasn't from Rumiko but from Sunrise.

So... nice try pedos, but no, your garbage pedo ship will NEVER BE CANON. You can cry as much as you want, just enjoy your fanfiction/doujinshi crumbs and go back to the sewer were pedos like you belong 🤷‍♀️😘

There's an Inukik one???

And yes, that's on point with what we've been saying for the past 3 years and even before that.

Also, even if it's not canon I dunno why they can get so up in arms "Like really? That's gonna stop you from shipping your THING? That is not canon. You gonna die because of that?" If we go by Anastasia's source, (*a person who worked animating some parts of HnY*) and that first leak— it's implied they were more "mom" options on the table and that when present with the idea of "Rin" mostly everyone on the meeting rejected it except ofc you know whos that kept pushing the idea (and we know that backfired). So, let's say it was Kikyo, or Kagura, or Sara Asano, or even Kagome, or EVEN some random woman.

It would still have been non-canon... 🤷🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

Facts.

Unless RT says otherwise, it would still be non-canon.

And even if that had happened. I have a feeling they would be rustled at us and the studio for not choosing theirs. Tbh, why care about that? Even if you ignore the saucerib in HnY. The rest of the thing mostly f*cking sucks. They had HnY on the backburner for years after TFA and they couldn't come up with decent writing? They would've f*cked over my ship or the others like they did theirs and InuKag's. The people I know here can come up with something better in a one shot in one day. Hells, weren't they tagging #justiceforsessrin on twitter because they hated how it turned out at the ending?

At this point I don't really give much about HnY. As long as they stay in their little corner and stay off my sh*t I won't give Fs so like I've told em before:

"Block me".

I just want to focus on my headcanons and writing skills to Git Gud. I'm more mad that thanks to a guy with a Loli fetish this fandom isn't what it used to be.

#anti rinsess #anti sessrin #antisessrin #antiyashahime #anti pedosawa

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kyunkyunscans · 3 years

Photo

As you may already know, TRIGGER’s most recent album was released in two editions, each with a different radio drama included. This is the translation for the “Secret Room” drama that came with Edition B. Definitely listen to it if you’ve got the chance to buy the CD and support the series!

TRIGGER Special Radio (Secret Room)

Tenn: And with that, the Secret Room Radio Version has begun!

Gaku: Yo!

Ryuu: We’ve all been waiting for it!

Tenn: Everyone listening, welcome to TRIGGER’s Secret Room.

Gaku: This Secret Room radio project, named after TRIGGER's namesake TV program that aired last year, is being broadcast to commemorate the release of our new album, Variant.

Ryuu: We'll share lots of special stories about the songs featured on the new album and behind-the-scenes details of Crescent Wolf, so definitely stick around until the end.

Tenn: Right. But before we get to the main subject of Secret Room, let’s continue the tradition in that segment.

<<music>>

Tenn: You’re the only one I can tell

Gaku: TRIGGER’s Fresh Secrets

Tenn: In this segment, we’ll report on fresh and juicy secrets.

Gaku: I’ve always thought this, but “reporting on fresh and juicy secrets” is kind of a unique expression.

Ryuu: The producer said they were split between hot and juicy.

Gaku: Why did juicy win?

Ryuu: I wonder. I always thought it wasn’t really a secret anymore if you were reporting it.

Gaku: True. You’re as perceptive as ever, Ryuu.

Ryuu: Am I?

Tenn: Let’s get back to the main topic. Today we’ll leave it up to Gaku, so if you will.

Gaku: Me? I never have anything good to share for this corner. Secret…secret…secret…

Tenn: You’re that worried?

Ryuu: Since Gaku is so straightforward, he may not have anything to hide.

Tenn: I think even what you had for breakfast could count as a secret if you didn't tell anyone about it yet.

Gaku: Breakfast? I had a solo fashion shoot for a magazine before coming here today, so I just ate the catering there.

Ryuu: The catering menus at those fashion shoots are always so fancy too. They serve things like fruit and popular sweets!

Tenn: Lots of healthy and organic foods too.

Gaku: I did eat something unusual along those lines. It looked grainy... what was that called?

Ryuu: Tapioca?

Gaku: That’s a drink, isn’t it?

Ryuu: Isn’t Tapioca a food?

Gaku: No, it’s a drink, right? I mean, you use a cup and a straw and all that.

Ryuu: I thought it was food... it's doughy like mochi, and if it's not chewed well, children and elderly can choke on it.

Gaku: Oh, you have a point there.

Tenn: Hey, you two are getting off-topic again. What was it that you ate, Gaku?

Gaku: Oops, you’re right. Wait, I’ll think of it. Um…

Ryuu: I know how you feel, sometimes I can’t remember what I had for dinner last night.

Tenn: In your case, isn’t that because you drank too much?

Gaku: Ahh, I can’t remember! Maybe if I had a hint, I could tell you the name of it.

Tenn: As interesting as that sounds, let’s end the What Did Gaku Have For Breakfast? Radio Game or we’ll run out of time. Time to move onto the next segment.

Gaku: Seriously? You want to stop here? It's on the tip of my tongue!

Ryuu: Then how about we check in throughout the show and see if you can remember by the end?

Gaku: Yeah, with enough time, it’s sure to come to me.

Ryuu: That’s right!

Tenn: Somehow we’ve added the mini-segment of checking on Gaku’s breakfast. Anyway, let’s move on.

Ryuu: Right, next is a special radio-only segment!

Ryuu: Let’s get fired up with TRIGGER’s Veritable Variant Variety Segment!

Gaku: Another segment with a unique name, huh.

Tenn: It's totally at the whims of the producer.

Ryuu: In this segment, we’ll talk about the new TRIGGER Variant album by reading and replying to messages from our listeners.

Ryuu: Ah, I’m really happy we finally have a new album!

Gaku: Me too.

Tenn: Right! There’s so much to talk about with each of the songs in the compilation that I worry that we’ll run out of time.

Ryuu: I’ll go ahead and read the first question from a listener so that Tenn can talk as much as he wants.

Ryuu: Radio Name: Divide Everything Into Three-san

Ryuu: I really want to congratulate you on the release of your new album.

All: Thanks!

Ryuu: Jumping straight to business, I have a question. In the featured song “Heavenly Visitor,” there’s the line that says, “Admit that you can’t resist it.” Is there anything that you can’t resist? I wish you all the best in your success.

Ryuu: Ahh… something that I can’t resist?

Tenn: Hmm, I wonder.

Gaku: Hey. Do they mean like emotionally or like physically?

Ryuu: What do you mean by emotionally?

Gaku: For example, like the feelings of a fan who supports us?

Ryuu: Whoa, the timing on that echo was perfect!

Tenn: Thanks to that, it really sounded like the answer of an idol. You should thank the mixer.

Gaku: Thank you, Mixer-san.

Ryuu: Mixer-san is giving us a thumbs up.

Tenn: That aside, we should actually give a serious reply.

Gaku: To the thumbs up?

Tenn: To the fan’s feelings, like you said just ten seconds ago when you actually sounded like a cool idol.

Gaku: Oh, that's what you meant. So long as we're idols, our fans' feelings will always be really important to us. No matter what we want to do, we can only do it because of all the support we receive from our fans.

Tenn: That’s right. I’m really reluctant to straight-up agree with Gaku’s smooth line, but that’s what I think, too.

Gaku: Hey.

Ryuu: Divide Everything Into Three-san, did you get what you were looking for?

Tenn: We'll be waiting for your heartfelt email again.

Gaku: Okay, onto the next question.

Gaku: From Radio Name: I Want to Dazzle Too-san

Gaku: Hello, TRIGGER-san

All: Hello!

Gaku: The question I’d like to ask is about Diamond Fusion. This was a brilliant debut song for TRIGGER, and the day I first saw you three on TV is still one of the top three most impactful moments of my life.

Gaku: Ooh, I wonder what the other two are.

Tenn: Enough, keep reading.

Gaku: Sorry. Um, the music video for Diamond Fusion was impressive because it included production scenes as well. Did you keep the cameras running all the time, even during breaks? I would definitely be happy if you could tell me.

Gaku: Ah, that.

Ryuu: That brings back memories. That was our debut song, wasn’t it?

Tenn: As it turns out, the answer is no.

Gaku: That music video was pretty interesting. Actually, half of those production scenes were real, and the other half were staged!.

Ryuu: The scene with the staff moving is real, but the scenes with us were staged to look real. But not all of them, of course.

Tenn: Yeah, a lot of scenes were specifically taken from storyboards.

Gaku: Yeah, like that part with Ryuu loosening his collar.

Ryuu: Ah, that part! I couldn’t gesture naturally like the cinematographer wanted, so Gaku had to keep posing for a while with the bottle of water tilted. (1)

Tenn: For some reason, Gaku kept drinking the water and by the time we finished filming, the bottle was empty.

Ryuu: Sorry about that, Gaku.

Gaku: Nah, why did I drink that like an idiot? My stomach got flabby because it was so full of water. Maybe I was nervous because it was my first job.

Ryuu: Since we shot on green screen, I couldn’t imagine how the music video would turn out, and I was really surprised when I saw the finished product, it was like magic. I thought to myself, “This is the magic of idols.”

Tenn: That’s right, and we’ll continue to cast spell after spell on everyone.

Ryuu: Wow, Tenn really sounded like an idol there, too.

Tenn: I am an idol, after all.

Gaku: Hey you, you said I had the smooth line. Hey, stop giving Mixer-san heart fingers and listen to me!

Tenn: I Want to Dazzle Too-san, thank you for the message.

Tenn: Okay, now it’s mini-segment time!

Gaku: Whoa, where did that come from?

Tenn: Gaku, you should remember by now.

Gaku: Remember what? Ahh, my breakfast! I totally forgot.

Ryuu: You forgot to remember what you forgot. Sounds kind of philosophical.

Tenn: Stay with us, we even turned it into a mini-segment just for you.

Gaku: What was that…? It was kind of grainy… Ah, four characters! The name has four characters in it.

Ryuu: So it is tapioca-

Gaku: It’s not!

Ryuu: Ehhhh?

Tenn: Something grainy with four characters in the name....

Ryuu: Ah! I got it! Herring roe! Ka-zu-no-ko, see, four characters.

Gaku: No, it wasn’t anything from the ocean though.

Ryuu: Oh, I thought that was a pretty good guess.

Gaku: Sorry. You gave it a lot of thought, too.

Ryuu: It’s alright. Maybe by the next time we ask, you’ll remember it.

Gaku: Yeah!

Tenn: Now that we’ve decided this mysterious mini-segment will continue, I’d like to move on to the next question.

Tenn: From Radio Name: Crescent Moon Cat-san

Tenn: Nice to meet you, it’s my first time mailing the radio, so I’m a little nervous. Sorry for any mistakes.

Ryuu: You’re fine, don’t worry about it.

Gaku: Thanks for doing your best writing to us even though you were nervous!

Tenn: This is a question about Crescent Rise. As the theme song to the stage show Crescent Wolf, this song was set in the same world. Did any moments during filming leave an impression on you? The music video was really wonderful. I’ll keep on supporting you.

Ryuu: Impressions from filming Crescent Rise…

Gaku: It can only be one thing.

All: It was freezing!

Ryuu: No, but it was really cold! Filming was early in the morning or late at night, which made it even colder.

Tenn: The hair and makeup artist who worked on Gaku had shaky hands and lamented that they couldn’t draw the same wound as the day before, so they couldn’t keep it consistent between shots, apparently.

Ryuu: They were so happy when Tenn gave them one of his hand-warmers!

Gaku: When it started to snow on the way, our shivering took on another meaning: the director got so fired up and said we would absolutely shoot in the snow.

Tenn: But thanks to that, the film looked more realistic, so I think it turned out even more impressive.

Ryuu: During that time, the dish from the studio that healed our minds and bodies the most was:

All: Omurice/ Inari-zushi/ Soba

Gaku: We were totally out of sync that time.

(Laughs)

Ryuu: Since Crescent Wolf is set in an older time period, the studio filmed in a replica town built based on that era. There's even that famous hidden restaurant! The three of us had talked about trying it together before.

Gaku: The soba there was so good. The soup stock was really well-made.

Ryuu: The inari-zushi was delicious, too. I liked the sweet flavor.

Tenn: The omurice had a classic and comforting flavor, it brought back memories.

Ryuu: We had a lot of different dishes during production, but we kept going back to our favorites.

Gaku: For sure. Oh, by the way, we met Yuki-san from Re:Vale once at the studio.

Ryuu: Oh yeah, Yuki-san happened to be shooting another movie in the same studio. Oh man, I was so nervous then…

Gaku: He came during filming and stood behind the camera to watch us acting, just staaaring the whole time.

Tenn: But I’m thankful for the advice he gave me after that. It was only a few words, but very precise.

Gaku: Tenn, when you were talking to Yuki-san, you had a blanket wrapped around your waist, didn’t you?

Tenn: Yeah, it was cold. The stylist recommended it. What of it?

Gaku: Yuki-san saw it too and said, “Nice, I’ll try that out.”

Ryuu: Oh, so that’s what that was! When I met Momo-san the other day, he was troubled because Yuki-san was constantly bundled up in a blanket. Even when Momo warned him that it was causing problems, Yuki-san said "Tenn-kun does it, too, so it's fine," and wouldn’t listen.

Gaku: So instead of wrapping a blanket around himself, he covers himself completely?

Tenn: I’ll take responsibility and give Yuki-san one of those wearable blankets as a present.

Gaku: We’ve got all sorts of stories from Crescent Wolf.

Ryuu: We do, don’t we.

Tenn: I'd love to talk about it more with all of you, so hopefully it won't be long until the next time we can.

Ryuu: Crescent Moon Cat-san, thank you for your message. Okay, let’s go to the next question!

Ryuu: From Radio Name: The Promised Place is the East Exit-san

Ryuu: Tenn-san, Gaku-san, Ryuunosuke-san, nice to meet you. Congratulations on your second album!

All: Thanks

Ryuu: Please let me ask a question about the song Treasure from this album. Treasure means something precious, and in the lyrics you are looking for something. What is a treasure to the members of TRIGGER? For me, my treasure is the irreplaceable time I’ve had since becoming a TRIGGER fan.

All: Ahh...

Ryuu: I’ll keep on believing in you from now on. Please take care of yourselves and good luck!

Ryuu: Whoa. With that radio name, maybe this was someone who was there that day.

Tenn: Thank you very much. Thank you for accepting us when we started over, and thank you for the warm words from those who weren’t there as well… No, even those who didn’t have any words for us, anyone who cared or kept an eye on us, or was hurt because of us, to those who have accepted us again and are still watching over us now: I’m deeply grateful for all of you from the bottom of my heart

Ryuu: Now, we’re moving forward and tackling what we can one by one.

Gaku: We’ll keep moving forward.

Tenn: Thank you, meeting all of you is our treasure.

Ryuu: I didn’t think we’d have the chance to talk about this again, so thank you for the message, The Promised Place is the East Exit-san. And thank you so much to the staff member who chose this message. Okay, next is the last question.

Gaku: We’re already at the last one?

Tenn: I don’t want it to end.

Ryuu: Ever since the radio show started, I wanted to keep talking forever.

Gaku: What if we don’t read the last question?

Ryuu: Eh?!

Tenn: That won’t work, so I’ll read it since Gaku doesn’t want to.

Gaku: Hold on, I was just joking.

Gaku: Um, Radio name: Dream of the Three Kings of Orion’s Belt-san

Gaku: TRIGGER-san, nice to meet you. I just recently became a fan. I didn’t know anything about you when my friend took me to a concert, but then I watched the three of you on stage, and before I knew it, I was a fan. It’s pretty dull, isn’t it.

Ryuu: Not at all! I’m happy.

Tenn: We’re honored.

Gaku: I like all of TRIGGER’s songs because they’re cool, but I especially love My Precious World. I feel like this song described TRIGGER breaking out of the shell of the world, and through that, gave me a special new world, too. Sorry for the long introduction. What does a “Precious World” or special world mean to the three of you?

Tenn: Special world, huh. Thank you for saying that about us. If we look at it like that, it’s all thanks to the many people who support us.

Gaku: Right. This work could never be done by any one person. That’s why I think that the environment I live in is a special world. Someone that simply stands out or glitters isn’t that special, but don’t you think that someone who is sincere and reliable is?

Ryuu: That’s true, isn’t it. Ah, that reminds me!

Tenn: What is it?

Ryuu: Something that Manager said. Our three names have auspicious things in common.

Gaku: In common?

Ryuu: See, the kanji for Tenn’s name comes from heaven’s “ten”goku. Gaku from paradise’s “raku”en. And mine comes from the dragon’s “ryuu” in the Palace of the Dragon King. (2)

Gaku: Oh, you’re right.

Tenn: We all three have names with characters from special places that people dream of.

Gaku: Whoa, you’ve got to be sharp to notice that.

Ryuu: Right, so as long as people support us, I want to create the special places of people’s dreams.

Tenn: Me, too.

Gaku: Right.

Ryuu: So I believe that’s the mission of the Paradise Trio!

Gaku: Huh? Pa-para…?

Tenn: I get what you’re saying, but can you not make it sound like you want us to be a care-free, easy-going group? Mixer-san, go easy on the echo effect! You’re getting too excited there.

Ryuu: They’re laughing so much!

Gaku: Dream of the Three Kings of Orion’s Belt-san, thank you for your message. Our Paradise Trio will definitely take you to a whole new world.

Tenn: Gaku, don’t you start using that name so casually, too.

Gaku: It’s fine! It’s catchy. Next time we’re in front of IDOLiSH7, let’s pose and call it out.

Ryuu: Sounds good! Mitsuki-kun would burst out laughing, and Yamato-kun would turn his head away to snicker- (3)

Gaku: That’s it! It sounded like that!

Ryuu: Eh? What did?

Gaku: Couscous! It was couscous! The name of what I ate for breakfast!

Ryuu: Couscous?

Tenn: The dish that’s said to be the smallest pasta in the world? Well, it certainly looks grainy and has a four character name.

Ryuu: Now that you mention it, when I first heard what it was called, it made me think of laughing all the time.

Gaku: Ahh, thanks, Ryuu! I got it in time thanks to you.

Ryuu: Let’s go eat it together sometime, that grinning food. (4)

Tenn: It’s snickering, couscous.

<<music>>

Tenn: Now that Gaku finally remembered his breakfast, it’s time to say goodbye to this Special Radio Secret Room. Thank you all for sending your messages to the show.

Ryuu: Our new album Variant was conceptualized with “something different, something mutable” in mind, and in that sense it reflects a newly transformed TRIGGER.

Gaku: We especially tried a different approach for our title track, so look forward to it.

Tenn: May this album be a new change in your daily life.

Ryuu: Be sure to listen to it lots and lots, okay?

Gaku: I really hope the time comes when we can meet again.

Tenn: With that, everyone-

All: Farewell!

------------

Footnotes

(1) For anyone else who wanted to see the scene they’re talking about:

(2) Tenn (天) is from Kingdom of Heaven (天国). Gaku (楽) is from Eden/Elysium (楽園) with a different reading. And Ryuu (龍) is from the Palace of the Dragon King. (龍宮城) This palace is described in the tales of Urashima Taro, a classic folk tale, as made of gold, crystal, coral, and pearl with a garden surrounding the palace, each of the four sides corresponding to a different season.

(3) Ryuu uses the word “kusukusu” (クスクス) for snicker, which sounds very similar to “couscous.”

(4) Another wordplay on kusukusu/couscous. Ryuu refers to it as niconico (ニコニコ) (grinning) instead of kusukusu (snickering).

Credits

Transcript: chopz & Sayume

Translation: Rena (me)

Editing/Proofreading: kimmistry

Quality Control: Sayume

#Idolish7 #i7 #ainana #i7 trigger #trigger variant #kujo tenn #yaotome gaku #tsunashi ryuunosuke

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screamin-abt-haikyuu · 3 years

Text

Celebrating best boy's birthday, Christmas and New Year's by lighting up the Asahi tags <3

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Genre: Mostly Crack + Fluff in the end! | Reader Gender: Neutral

Warnings: two slightly suggestive lines

A/N: Based on the events that occurred in this Christmas Manga panel and this drama CD!! Not proofread pls forgive errors.

"Okay, Y/N, you can open your eyes now."

"OH. MY. GOD!!" you squeal delightedly, unable to believe your eyes. "This is SO much better than I could have imagined," you say and burst into peals of laughter, "I just CANNOT- AHAHAHAHHAHA."

"I told you you HAD to see Asahi dressed up as Jesus for Christmas," Sugawara says, "It is like nothing you have ever seen."

He is right. The scene in front of you is nothing like you have ever seen. You are standing at the entrance to the gym and at the center of it are the Karasuno VBC. They are all standing in a group around your boyfriend, Asahi Azumane.

He truly is a sight to behold. Shirtless, hair open, a crown of thorns (which is actually made of straws) on his head and his arms are outstretched to the side and tied to the volleyball net. Accompanying this glorious outfit is a pout on Asahi's face that seems to keep getting bigger by the second. He hasn't noticed you yet.

"How did you - HAHAHA- even manage to get him to agree? He was SO adamant he wasn't going to do it this year," you ask in between your wheezes as you slowly walk towards the scene.

"Well, you know how much of a softy he is. Daichi started talking about how this is our last year and probably the last Christmas we'll celebrate together. It didn't even take him two minutes to give in after that."

"God, I would have felt bad for him if this hadn't turned out to be the best goddamn thing I have ever seen in my entire life."

Asahi suddenly spots you walking towards him, face streaming with tears of laughter and his eyes widen.

You have seen him blush before. Of course, you have seen him blush before, the boy is always just ready to heat up at the slightest hint of compliments or teasing. However, you have never seen him blush like this. He looks like he is about to burst because he is blushing so hard that the red engulfs his entire body, right down to his abdomen.

"You-You BROUGHT Y/N?!?!" he wails, looking like someone who has just been stabbed in the back.

"Of course, we did! As the newest and most adorable addition to this little family we have here, we had to give them the best Christmas gift ever," Sugawara says, sending you into another flurry of laughter.

Asahi whines. "Okay, you need to untie me right now!"

"Don't be such a spoilsport Asahi-san. We haven't even gotten to the best part yet."

"Noya- you guys- I swear..."

"Aww, Asahi please! I really want to see. I had to make so many excuses to my family to come and see you," you say, making your classic puppy face at him when you want to convince him to do something.

However, Asahi seems incapable of meeting your eyes at this moment and has chosen to stare at the floor instead, mumbling something that no one can comprehend.

"Pleaseeee Asahi, you look so good! I wanna see more!" you say and get close enough to whisper into his ear, "And it's not like I haven't seen you shirtless before."

His head shoots up, eyes wide with horror and embarrassment as they finally meet yours. "Y/Nnnn!" he wails.

You giggle and his heart melts. "I'm just teasing ya. But, please, can you let me stay for this?"

There it is. Your classic puppy-eyed look. He can never win against that. He hangs his head in defeat.

"Fine..." he mutters.

"Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU!" you jump excitedly and plant a big kiss on his cheek, "You're the best boyfriend everr."

At least you have managed to make him smile.

"Y/N. The Karasuno VBC would like to present our Christmas gift to you."

"Please stand back and enjoy the show."

Everyone holds hands and forms a semi-circle around Asahi.

"Now." Sugawara says and everyone bows together towards Asahi, "Bless us, O lord, so that we can all have a happy and blessed Christmas and New Year."

Poor Asahi looks like he is about to pass out.

The boys then take turns to ask for individual wishes.

Apart from wanting to win the Spring Tournament:

Daichi wishes for the basketball captain to hand over the gym keys to him permanently.

Sugawara wishes for a magical cane that can whip Noya and Tanaka into shape.

"Oh, that one is easy. ENNOSHITA! Suga is looking for you," Asahi shouts, now quite enjoying himself.

Hinata wishes to be 7 feet tall.

Kageyama wishes to always be in prime condition to play volleyball.

Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, Narita and Kinoshita all wish to improve their game.

Tanaka and Nishinoya wish to see Kiyoko wearing a Kimono. ("Never gonna happen," Kiyoko says.)

Tsukki and Kiyoko do not wish for anything.

Yachi does not want to invoke the wrath of the real Gods by praying to Asahi.

You, on the other hand, are an absolute goner. Curled up in a fetal position on the floor, tears streaming down your face with your stomach and cheeks paining from all the laughing, you can barely breathe at the moment.

"And once again, the Karasuno Volleyball Club's Christmas is a success!"

"Who even made that crown for you?" you ask your boyfriend as he walks you back home.

"Kiyoko did," he says.

"REALLY?!" you burst into another fit of giggles.

"Yeah," he says, smiling shyly at you.

It is so beautiful at this time of the year. Even though the street you're walking on is deserted, it is brightly lit up with fairy lights and Christmas trees. As you walk through the snow-laden path, hand in hand with the person you love most in the world, your heart feels like it is about to burst with joy.

"I didn't get a chance to wish for what I want," you say, pouting at him.

"Well, it's still Christmas. What do you want to wish for?"

You smile and get really close to him, pulling him towards you with his scarf so you can whisper in his ear.

"Hey, Jesus, will you take me to heaven tonight?"

Asahi is so taken aback by that statement that he jumps back, his face instantly turning a deep shade of scarlet.

"Y/Nnnnnnn!!!" he whines and hides his face in his hands, sending you into another flurry of breathless laughter.

"Okay, okay. I'm done. I'm sorry. You have had enough teasing for today," you giggle, grabbing his hands to peel them away from his face.

"I won't tease you anymore, okay? I promise!"

He nods, still looking at the ground in embarrassment.

You use one hand to lift his face so that he is looking you in the eyes.

"Now, can I tell you what I really want to wish for?"

He nods.

"I know how hard the last year was for you," you say, gently gliding one hand down his cheek, "I wish that this New Year brings you every good thing you desire. Happiness, love, success, everything! You deserve so, so much. You deserve the world, Asahi, and I hope you get it."

Asahi's eyes are misty as he takes both your hands in his and pulls them up to his lips to kiss them softly.

"I may not be Jesus, but I can fulfil this wish of yours."

"Yeah? How?"

"Like this," he says and pulls you into a hug. You bury your face in the crook of his neck as one of his arms wraps around your waist and the other around your neck. He places a soft, long kiss on your forehead.

"You wished me the world. I've got it right here in my arms."

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!

hwbdhjghcb yeah I felt a lot of things while writing this. Hope you enjoyed!

Asahi's Birthday Celebration Event by Zaira 💕

MASTERLISTS | If you enjoy my work and want to, you can Buy me a Kofi! <3

Taglist: @luri-isa @lovesicmess @solareclipse18

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shihalyfie · 3 years

Text

The difference between the Adventure group’s and the 02 group’s respective relationships with their Digimon

Kizuna very prominently depicts a difference between the older six Adventure group members (Taichi, Yamato, Sora, Koushirou, Mimi, Jou) and the younger six 02 group members (Takeru, Hikari, Daisuke, Ken, Miyako, Iori) in terms of how they interact with their partners, and part of it is because of the strange relationship between Kizuna and 02′s themes, but, in fact, there had always been a rather subtle difference between said dynamics even since all the way back in 02, just exacerbated by the 02 group being the only ones to be able to open Digital Gates via their D-3s and the fact that the circumstances of the plot were a bit engineered to make the 02 group a bit more functional during its duration.

The image of “every human-Digimon partner pair hanging together all of the time even through mundane daily life events” is certainly romantic, but, in fact, the older Adventure group is not portrayed as a group that necessarily longs for such an arrangement, and the 02 group doing so is something they specifically do because of their own personalities. This is something very tied to the distinction between the Adventure and 02 groups’ respective ways of life and internal dynamics, and what it says about each individual group’s preferences of independence vs. mutual support.

Once Adventure’s finale hit and the Adventure group had their first bout of “separation” from their partners, thus began the “two-and-a-half year break”, in which the Adventure group had to suddenly accept separation from their partners after (what had been to them) months of being together all of the time. It’s an understandable feeling of loss! You “took something for granted” when it’d been with you all of the time, you made an incredible, important friend and suddenly had to part. That said, there are some nuances to this that need to be taken into account here:

Takeru and Hikari (who turn out to later become involved with the 02 group and take on their mentality) are the two most confident about their parting on the note of “we’ll definitely meet again, don’t worry about it, it’ll be okay,” which is a pretty obvious meta hint at 02 airing one week later, but also does say a bit that they’re the ones most hung up on the possible reunion.

The two-and-a-half year break is characterized not so much by a permanent and unbroken separation as much as the lack of ability for Taichi and his friends to meet up with Agumon and the other partners on a regular, controlled basis. They weren’t completely cut off from contact -- Taichi receiving a message from Agumon in the above-linked drama CD, Koushirou keeping in contact with Gennai regularly, the entire events of Our War Game!, the Adventure mini dramas (yes, those are canon), the 15th anniversary drama CD, and the reunion depicted in 02 episode 27′s flashback. Moreover, the way Koushirou approaches the Digital Gates in the early episodes of 02, along with Two-and-a-Half Break itself, makes it clear that the gates still did open sporadically, it’s just that, since there was no real rhyme or reason to them opening, meetups with partners weren’t something that could be coordinated smoothly. Given that, it’s not that surprising that Taichi met up with Agumon without altogether too much fanfare in 02 episode 1 -- it certainly wasn’t something he could have done often, but the two had met up a handful of times during the last two and a half years, so it’s understandable that it doesn’t necessarily merit a massively dramatic reunion, especially when there’s a crisis going on at the exact moment.

Once the events of 02 kicked off, the Adventure kids started having some touching reunions with their respective partners now that the 02 kids’ D-3s could provide reliable standbys for going in and out of the Digital World, and, of course, it’s natural that they’d be a bit emotional after their contact had been so disjointed (even though, as with Taichi, it’s not actually nearly as dramatic as one might expect), but once that’s out of the way...

Practicality suggests that the Adventure kids’ Digimon partners would choose to spend most of their time in the Digital World for the duration of 02...but, in fact, even that considered, the older Adventure kids really don’t seem that bothered to not get to see their partners every day of their lives. Granted, they of course presumably don’t want to constantly bother their juniors all of the time to open the gate for them, but Sora demonstrates in 02 episode 12 that she will grab them and go in if it’s urgent, so there’s no reason to believe they wouldn’t recruit the kids to open the gate for them if they wanted or needed it that badly. Moreover, the juniors being able to consistently open and close the gate means that constant communication and occasional meetups with their Digimon partners are more than possible -- recruiting one of their partners to do something on the other end isn't too hard anymore, given the events of 02 episode 32 or such -- and so, the “inconsistent, fleeting contact” that spanned the “two-and-a-half year break” is no longer a problem.

All things considered, if the older kids really wanted to create some kind of pipeline or arrangement so they could hang out with their partners on the daily like the 02 kids do, you’d think they (especially Koushirou) would try a little harder, but they don’t actually seem to treat it with much more urgency than having a really good friend who might be a bit of a slightly inconvenient bus ride away. The fact that they actually have reasonably consistent methods of access to see each other if they really want to is comfort in itself. Of course, when Christmas comes and the juniors arrange a situation for all of their seniors to see their partners again, it really is a Christmas gift, because of course there’s the joy of getting to see an incredibly treasured friend you don’t normally get to see in a while!...but even then, Taichi says that Agumon should at least stay for the holiday, with a completely casual tone that suggests he has absolutely no qualms or emotional hangups about the idea that Agumon’s going to have to return to the Digital World soon and they won’t have day-to-day contact anymore (it’ll just be nice if Agumon can stay for the rice cake soup).

In the end, this is actually...probably a pretty normal thing to expect. Digimon partners are “best friends” in ways that are a bit unusually beyond your average so-called “best friend”, in that they’re somewhat psychologically linked to their human partners and thus “get” them in ways an average human friend wouldn’t, but nevertheless, it’s not like everyone constantly wants to have their best friend with them every single moment of every single day; boundaries and independence are a thing, and even Miyako felt that it was appropriate to leave Poromon with Koushirou for the duration of her Kyoto trip in 02 episode 33. (In fact, if you squint carefully, there are times when even the 02 kids’ Digimon occasionally don’t accompany their partners; Patamon and Tailmon didn’t attend the soccer game in 02 episode 8.) Or, if you want to take this all the way back to Adventure, “needing space” from one’s own partner once in a while was lightly addressed when Tentomon deliberately recused himself from Koushirou having a heart-to-heart with his parents, because he understood Koushirou needed catharsis on his own terms (and we see Hawkmon and Tailmon even do the same for Miyako and Hikari in 02 episode 31). So when those best friends were placed in dubious places of contact and it became difficult to tell when they’d ever meet again, it was emotionally difficult in the same way being forcibly cut off from a treasured friend and not being allowed to see them regularly would hurt -- but once some degree of regular, guaranteed contact was established, and it was understood that they could meet up when they needed to, they could schedule that easily (and in fact there’s no evidence that the older Adventure group never made use of that during days in the year that weren’t depicted in 02 proper).

Not only that, the Digital World is also treated as having its own “will” and letting Chosen in as needed in 02 episode 22, thus implying that, even without the 02 kids’ D-3s as a fail-safe, it was getting more receptive to open gates in general; Koushirou had been keeping track of them and alerting other Chosen to whenever they opened naturally (including Mimi in 02 episode 14), allowing contact to continue on a more regular basis.

So why are the 02 kids and their Digimon so different? Since the incidents depicted in 02 didn’t impact the real world itself until late in the series, why didn’t they make an arrangement like their seniors where the kids would meet up with their partners in the Digital World after school, thus avoiding the trouble of having to hide them in school and pass them off as plushies everywhere? Well, the thing is, they almost had that kind of arrangement...and it lasted only one episode. It was made a prominent point in 02 episode 2 that even after meeting V-mon and barely getting to know him, Daisuke couldn’t get him out of his mind. Then, Miyako and Iori met their own partners, and when they all emerged, the 02 group’s partners themselves came out with them, with Tentomon and Piyomon being the ones to say that they’d rather stay behind for the time being. In other words, it wasn’t a question of practicality surrounding the territory war with the Kaiser -- the 02 group’s Digimon and humans themselves actually wanted to stick to each other this badly, even if it meant that the Digimon would be staying in in an unfamiliar world long-term (after all, the Digital World is still every Digimon’s natural home, so it’s possible that the older kids’ Digimon aren’t too enthused about the idea of staying in the real world for so long themselves).

In the end, the real reason the 02 group and their Digimon stick to each other so constantly through any and all situations has to do with their mentality. In the case of the Adventure group, while being trapped in another world gave them a sense of necessity in sticking together all of the time and thus created a bit of extra shock when sudden separation occurred, either way, said older group was a bit more independent-minded and was ultimately able to mentally adjust to returning to a status quo where they couldn’t expect to see their partners all of the time, and managed to build proper lives around that assumption. Even when their partners were regularly accessible, they were able to live their lives somewhat independently from each other (especially due to the difficulty of integrating Digimon into the real world at this stage), with the understanding that they still could meet each other whenever necessary for anything ranging from a dangerous incident to simply just wanting to get together and have a nice heart-to-heart. The 02 group, on the other hand, consisted of a group of slight misfits with some degree of socialization problems prior to the start of the series, who have mentalities based on “their relationship with others” moreso than independence; their group dynamic was based on a slight amount of dependence on mutual support rather than necessarily being able to sustain themselves on their own, and it thus follows that they and their like-minded partners would be a bit clingier as a result, because they’re more in need of that emotional support and company on a day-to-day basis.

Look at Daisuke, whose entire character has a lot to do with his need for validation and support from others; it’s very easy to imagine that prolonged separation from V-mon might outright cause them separation anxiety before long (remember Daisuke’s reaction to getting briefly separated from V-mon after only knowing him for less than a day in 02 episode 2!). Or Takeru and Hikari, who still are parsing a lot of really unresolved issues that weren’t actually properly addressed in Adventure (remember: they’re the ones who were only able to accept the idea of parting if they had certainty that they’d meet again, and Tailmon especially associates Hikari specifically with a life she couldn’t initially have). These kids dislike being separated from each other for too long, so it stands to reason that they’re going to dislike separation from their respective partners even less. 02 being a story about relationships means it’s a series about how people who have difficulty finding their answers by themselves find it through the support of others, and so, more latently, it’s only natural that it’ll extend to their partners, and that their partners, being somewhat like-minded, would reflect that by willingly choosing to leave the Digital World to cling to their partners, even in an unfamiliar world.

Of course, you could potentially chalk this up to sheer practicality, in that the 02 group had access to D-3s and were simply making use of their time together, or that the nature of the Digital World territory war eventually getting brought out into the real world guided their actions this way...but, in fact, Kizuna continues to double down on there being a distinct difference between these two.

Because Kizuna only gives us very “limited context” by showing us limited snippets of a few days instead of the whole eight months 02 spanned over, we’re forced to extract from only a very small “sample size” of interactions, but one thing the movie does make clear is that the Adventure and 02 groups are both roughly in the same boat in regards to what they can and can’t do regarding their partners and the Digital World. The “advantage” the 02 group had over their seniors in that they could easily open gates is no longer in play, because travel can happen at leisure even with the older group thanks to the smartphone terminals Koushirou’s made (the deluxe Blu-ray booklet confirms that it’s the smartphones doing it, so it’s not like Yamato’s referring to the ability to grab one of the 02 group members here). On top of that, Digimon have some degree of recognition in society, so it’s not too much of a big deal to have them in real life, and all of the Digimon partners are probably much more used to going back and forth and being familiar with both parts of society. And yet, despite that, there is a difference.

The main reason I so often urge people not to take the question of “who has partners present in the credits and who doesn’t” as a definitive statement of who’s lost their partners like Taichi, Yamato, and Sora have is that the opening does the same thing -- none of the Adventure group’s partners are depicted in the respective characters’ vicinity, even though we know at this point that none of them have full-on disappeared yet. Rather, when you think about it, it’s more that the point being made is that their partners aren’t with them all of the time -- just because the gates are easily opened by anyone in this cast now doesn’t mean that the Adventure characters decided to bring them home to live with them the way the 02 group did. Tentomon is not shown to be in the proximity of Koushirou in the movie’s initial scenes, nor in the opening, nor during his company negotiations, and it’s only during later events when he’s seen in the office. Palmon not being on the plane with Mimi may well mean that she’s not actually with her all of the time, mainly just working alongside her every so often, and Jou’s memorial short indicates that there’s a certain degree of partners acting independently now (especially now that they can operate in the real world without too much issue). Obviously, said Digimon partners are still hanging around and reasonably well-involved in their lives, but they’re not always next to them, and may be hanging around elsewhere in the real world or killing time in the Digital World -- but meanwhile, the number of times any of the 02 group is physically seen in the movie or To Sora without their partner totals at zero.

In the end, the distinction between the older Adventure group’s and the 02 group’s respective behavior may have been somewhat exacerbated by the gate-opening issue at first, but even when that was taken away, the 02 group’s tendency to cling to their partners and vice versa was just something endemic to themselves.

Again, since Kizuna gives us a very limited frame of reference, it’s not to say that the 02 group is always stuck to their partners for every breathing moment of their lives; remember, even all the way back in 02 episode 33, Miyako was willing to leave Poromon with Koushirou for the duration of her Kyoto trip, and the memorial shorts also depict V-mon hanging out with Gabumon in a setting that we assume doesn’t involve Daisuke in the vicinity, and photos of Takeru and Hikari without their partners are seen on Imura’s board, and there certainly must be instances of need for privacy or busy moments of adulthood that couldn’t be depicted in the limited range of the movie -- but the point is made, and there is a massive contrast between the Adventure group living independent lives, and the 02 group playing around and doing mundane things and actively involving their partners in their conversations and interactions in ways far beyond that of their seniors. And, by extension, the fact that the drama CD depicts them going out of their way to meet up with each other in a setting where their seniors aren’t doing anything of the sort; the 02 group’s mentality, shaped by the events of their series, involves treasuring their personal relationships and gaining emotional support from each other as a bigger priority over individual ambition, and it’s applying even to eight years later in Kizuna to the point where it takes very little to recreate the aura of yet another average 02 episode.

Fundamentally speaking, neither group is in the wrong, and the “difference in mentality” between the two groups is reflected all the way into the 02 epilogue, so this is not a narrative that praises or condemns people for aligning more with being independent-minded and ambitious and not necessarily needing company most of the time, versus being the kind who needs company and emotional support from others and excelling better at giving that kind of support in return. Kizuna’s narrative doesn’t cast the more ostensibly distant (less so “distant” and more “more capable of independent action”) relationship the Adventure group has with their partners in a particularly negative light. I’m sure many reading this post will probably identify more with one group or the other here in terms of their way of living life and maintaining relationships. However, it does cast the concept of “abandoning one’s partner” as the reason for partnership dissolution -- not physical abandonment, but rather, emotional abandonment.

The timing of the partnership dissolution is the key, because the movie puts a huge spotlight on it not happening to Koushirou and Takeru for the time being, which means we’re obligated to look at Taichi and Yamato to see why it’s happening to them and them specifically, and what they have in common. Well, one day prior, they’d dumped their partners on their siblings with very few words, and then, over dinner, had outright scoffed at the idea of bringing their partners to school with them. Again, it’s not the issue of bringing them or not when even Koushirou doesn’t seem to be hanging out with Tentomon all of the time, but rather that they have such a condescending and cold attitude about it, as if their partners are “in the way” of their adult lives. Taichi doesn’t necessarily have to have Agumon live with him as a roommate, but he’s portrayed as horribly lonely and yet hadn’t even let Agumon visit once because he was so willing to shut him out. In other words, Taichi and Yamato had taken their partners so much for granted that they were basically yanking them out once in a while whenever they needed them for Digimon battles, and then tossing them aside flippantly to get back to whatever their lives were, rather than working on maintaining their relationships or allowing for emotional support. For the early duration of the movie, their conversations are not quite there, and are a bit stilted. Partner or not, it’s a cold way to treat a friend who just really wants to be there to support you.

And when you look at Sora, or Menoa (who’s revealed in the novel to have also been emotionally drifting from Morphomon for the sake of her studies), their abandonment of their partners was hardly physical -- Piyomon was there to watch Sora’s flower arrangement work, it’s just that Sora was coldly turning her away and snapping at her for the sake of her work, and Menoa was most likely still living in the same house as Morphomon back when she was studying in Colorado, but nevertheless, she hadn’t been talking to her anymore. Meanwhile, on the other hand, while Koushirou doesn’t seem to be with Tentomon all of the time, he still has a proper heart-to-heart with him in a way that wouldn’t be completely out of place in Adventure, so you can see why he’s not nearly in trouble as Taichi, Yamato, and Sora are at the time of the movie.

So, the take-home is that it’s not necessarily a requirement to be with your partner every single breathing moment of the day like the 02 group is; of course, them being more on the clingy (for lack of a better way to put it) side means that being emotionally in-tune with them is just a fact of life, but Koushirou, Mimi, and Jou all seem to have figured out comfortable ways of interaction and boundaries with their own partners even despite occasional distance, and that’s why they’re not in danger of losing their partners at the time of the movie, despite all of them technically being adults and Jou being a year older. (Well, there’s also the secondary metaphorical meaning of a partner meaning one’s own personal dreams and aspirations and how that factors into Taichi, Yamato, Sora, and Menoa’s actions, but we’ll leave that as a separate topic for the time being.)

One interesting thing about the epilogue is that, because the meeting depicted takes place in the Digital World and we have a very limited amount of information, we don’t really have evidence that most of the adult Chosen actually live with their Digimon partners on a day-to-day basis -- the only thing concrete we have is a strong implication that Hawkmon lives at home with Miyako’s family, which is reasonably par for the course with Miyako and Hawkmon’s respective characterizations (and although it’s not shown, you can also imagine that the very clingy Wormmon would likely prefer living with “Ken-chan” and his family). Otherwise, the only other “home” scene we get to see is that of Takeru and his son, but their partners aren’t shown in the real world.

The Character Complete File does add some implications depending on how you want to read certain ones, and Armadimon’s lack of presence in Iori’s attorney scene could conversely mean that he’s more likely to be a presence in Iori’s home life than he is in his work (which is also reasonably consistent with their characters), but either way, the take-home is that the nature of each Digimon partner’s involvement in each adult’s day-to-day life is ambiguous. So you can really make any kind of extrapolation about whose partners are involved in their lives to what degree; it’s been 17 years since Kizuna, relationships and day-to-day life needs have changed, and things like “career partner” and “family member” (or both) don’t necessarily have to entail a Digimon partner constantly clinging to their head and witnessing every moment of their life, as long as the understanding is still there that everyone still has a clear amount of emotional involvement and connection in each other’s lives to some degree.

It’s also interesting to note that the epilogue actually picks a slightly unusual way of phrasing the Digimon partnership phenomenon spreading globally: “a Digimon partner exists for everyone in the world.” In terms of sheer technical meaning, it’s not altogether that different from “everyone has a Digimon partner,” but such oblique wording brings more to mind the idea that, even now, not everyone may have met their Digimon partner yet, or may be living separately from them between worlds, or, with retroactive Kizuna context, being in a bit of an existential crisis or loss of self and having your partner not currently manifested for the time being -- but that doesn’t preclude you from having a partner, as long as you’re capable of maintaining some kind of relationship with them.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #kizuna spoilers #shihameta

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exosmutfactory · 3 years

Text

Six Phases FINALE Pt 2

Originally posted by tipannies

Who knew it nearly took 6 months to win your heart, and 6 phases for Baekhyun to lose his mind.

A/N: Let’s give Riley the ending she deserves 💗

[ contains: smut & fluff~]

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

Tonight is a special occasion, one that requires the most lethal of dresses that I own. A dress I always had my eye on yet never dared to take out from the back of my closet. I could never find the right time to wear it—until now. Because tonight, oh tonight… I have a date with Baekhyun.

I pull up the spaghetti straps of my wine colored dress, making sure that the criss-cross stripes of fabric in the front are straight. This dress is definitely too cold for the first week of December, but that's what winter coats are for. For now, I will turn side to side to admire how the bodycon shape fits well with the cutout section exposing my stomach. Party in the front and business in the back.

Straightening the last strand of my hair, I smile when my phone lights up with a notification, knowing full well who it is. His cute usage of emojis visible on the screen tells me all that I need to know. Chuckling to myself, I set down my flatiron and reply to him.

Baekhyun planned a date at his apartment tonight, subtly dropping a hint about what I should wear. Mmhm, this isn't a t-shirt and sweatpants event. Based on the new black blazer in the back of his adorable selfie that he sent me the other day when he asked me out, I got a good idea of what I'm getting myself into.

Humming to myself, I check my reflection one last time and grab my keys before heading out. Let's see which shade of Baekhyun is awaiting me today.

Strutting my way to the elevator in my rose gold heels, I smile at my neighbor when she steps out onto our floor, whistling at my choice of attire. She winks at me as the doors close. Chuckling, I check my phone one last time, typing a quick reply to Sehun with my French tip nails letting him know that I'm okay. We've made a point to catch up with each other at the end of every week, whether face to face or over the phone. Unfortunately, I have plans tonight… and maybe tomorrow too. And the day after that.

Smirking, I repocket my phone and wrap my fluffy coat tighter around me, waving to the security guard while making my way out of the building. The bite of the December air is refreshing for my skin, the heat packed into my coat leaves me slightly too warm otherwise. I look both ways before crossing the parking lot, staying aware of my surroundings. The last thing I need is any drama from a careless driver or lurking thief in the streets. These heels are too expensive to break off into someone's ass for making me late.

My car unlocks with a familiar chirp, its headlights coming on while I walk around to the driver's side. Taking one last glance at the world around me and my back seat, I climb inside and set my purse down on the passenger's side. My phone vibrates just as I start the engine, buzzing faintly against the soft R&B CD playing on my radio. With a small smile, I check my rearview mirror and pull out onto the road.

I hum along to the first track, wondering if a UN Village actually exists while navigating to Baekhyun's apartment. The Christmas lights set up on the light poles in advance bring another smile to my face. Something about this time of year always sits right with me.

Before I know it, I'm pulling into a parking space at his apartment complex, waiting for the powerful vocals of the 6th song on the album to fade away. Sighing a little, I lean back in my seat, sweeping my eyes over the parking lot as the windows start to fog up. Who would have thought that I'd be back here nearly a year later? With warmth in my heart and a certain silver haired, idiotic yet adorable man on my mind.

"I love you," I mumble shyly, holding eye contact despite my heated cheeks and racing heart.

His whole face lights up with his smile, sparkly brown eyes outshining all the stars in the sky as he cups my cheeks in his warm palms. "I love you more."

Stepping out of my car, I pick up my purse and head inside, sharing a knowing look with the familiar security guard on my way to the elevators. It feels so good to be back, the year-long bad memories vanishing with every step I take. To my home—to my heart. The man my heart calls out for like a rescued fish returning to sea.

Butterflies flutter in my stomach when I arrive on his floor, taking my time to walk down the brightly lit hallway. I wonder what is in store for me tonight. After all, when it comes to Baekhyun, anything can be awaiting me on the other side of that door. Possibilities are endless.

Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door, smiling softly when it opens seconds later only for my jaw to drop to the floor.

Baekhyun... with his silver hair parted to the side, wearing fucking brown eyeshadow. That new black blazer of his has buttons on the ends of the sleeves, sitting perfectly on his broad shoulders. But the real sight to behold is lower down on his body, starting from his half-buttoned black shirt showing his honey-toned chest. That view alone could send a woman into a coma, but then he had to tuck his shirt into a pair of snug leather pants. The belt around his hips shows off the curves of his waist and those damn black heeled boots are back again.

I don't even care that he can see me practically drooling—I already know what's on my menu for tonight.

"Hey," He smiles charmingly, taking my breath away.

I take a moment to compose myself, peeking at him from under my eyelashes with a smile of my own. "Hi, B."

His eyes and smile soften. "Come in, it's cold out." He steps aside to let me in, closing the door behind me.

Humming softly, I relish in his alluring cinnamon scent. "Not really," I mumble distractedly, thinking of how much warmer I feel at the sight of him while he helps me take off my coat. The way his breath hitches has a smirk quirking at my red painted lips. "What are we having tonight?" I inquire, glancing over my shoulder at him.

Baekhyun's eyes immediately shoot up to mine. "D-Dinner," He coughs, trying to cover up his flushed face behind his hand.

"Oooo," I walk further into the apartment, following the spicy aroma of food and making my way to the kitchen. "Okay. What did you order in?"

"Actually," Baekhyun's citrus shampoo floats in the air when I reach the doorway, staring at the set table with wide eyes. "I made it myself," He mumbles shyly, the cool plastic of the flower pinned to his blazer brushing against my back.

"Holy shit…" It's a fucking feast. Fresh salad, crunchy garlic bread, and the most appetizing platter of spaghetti that I've ever seen in my life. Not only that, the single-lit candle in the middle of the table has my heart and below squeezing in earnest. This cheeky little hopeless romantic.

"The meat is turkey-based," Baekhyun perks up after a few moments, walking around to place used pots and pans in the sink. Busying his fidgety hands with moving everything off of the counter. "I bought hot sauce but didn't put much because I didn't know if you'd like it spicy or not."

Walking further into the room, I rest my hand on the back of a chair, watching him with a lick of my lips.

Baekhyun continues occupying himself with everything in the kitchen, not even noticing when I slowly approach him. "The toast is on the softer side and I have some sweet tomatoes in the fridge-"

Fuck it.

I grab him by his jacket when he turns around, tugging on him so hard that a few buttons pop off and scatter around on the floor.

Baekhyun gasps, stumbling a little before bracing his hands on the surface behind me, the dishes on the dining table rattling under our joined weight. "Riley-"

I smash my lips to his, kissing him with fervor, backing him up until his back presses against the counter. I'm relentless with tugging and biting down on his bottom lip, capturing it between my teeth. He moans right into my mouth when I part his lips, sucking hard on his tongue.

The audible smack of our messy kiss echoes around the walls of his apartment, steadily building up tension in my stomach and the ache between my legs. Baekhyun softly huffs and puffs for air after a few minutes, pulling back to catch his breath with rosy, lipstick-smeared lips. "D-Dinner-"

"I'd rather eat something else," I utter lowly, rubbing my hand down his chest. My eyes flicker back up to his wide orbs just in time to catch him gulping, his warm brown eyes darkening significantly.

He looks at me for a long moment, hesitation vivid in his body language. I step closer, cupping his cheek before pressing my lips to his, gently coaxing his soft lips to dance with mine. Baekhyun takes a deep breath before wrapping his arms around me, the caress of his hands over my exposed skin leaving goosebumps in their wake.

This, I muse, shivering in delight when my body is fully pressed against his, is what has been missing.

He grows more daring the longer our lips lock, his warm hands sliding up the back of my thighs and venturing under my dress, bunching up the fabric. His fingertips teasingly slipping between my thighs has my pussy quivering, my own palms tugging on his tucked in shirt to feel more of his skin. Baekhyun grips my ass before spinning us around, hoisting me up onto the counter while I tangle my hand in his hair, my lips still glued to his. I moan when his fingers land on my clothed core, welcoming him between my parted legs.

"You're so wet," He breathes, a look of awe on his face. Sweat is already dripping down from the edges of his hairline, casting his skin in a dewy glow under the dancing candle lights.

"I'm not the only one," I murmur, tapping the back of my fingers on the bulge in his snug pants.

Baekhyun groans, pulling me into another kiss, making me gasp when he tugs me closer to the edge of the counter, his hardon right against my heated core. I shiver, wanting to widen my legs and close them at the same time when he rolls his hips, the thin fabric of my lace thong doing nothing to conceal his erection from my throbbing clit.

Our loud moans and sloppy kisses fill the air, the temperature rising in the room with every roll of his talented hips. I tighten my grip on his hair, gritting my teeth to hold back the tension building between my legs. 11 months has been way too long for me to not be intimate with someone like this, but looking up at Baekhyun's already fucked out face, I wouldn't have it any other way.

With shaky hands and quivering legs, I reach down to undo Baekhyun's belt, flinging it out of my way before pulling his zipper down. My hand slips a few times when he moves my thong to the side, sliding his middle finger into my greedy core.

"Ah…" I pant, tilting my head back as he trails searing kisses down my neck. "Fuck." The feeling of him inside of me after so long has me squeezing my thighs around his waist, fighting the wave threatening to fall over me when he finds my sweet spot immediately.

"So good for me," He murmurs, sucking my earlobe between his teeth. He slips in another finger when I finally pull his cock out of his boxers, swirling my fingers around his tip and stroking him in my firm grip. We speed up as we pant into each other's mouths, too turned on and drowned in pleasure to keep up with our kiss.

"Fuck, baby." He pulls back, cheeks flushed a pretty red hue, "C-condom-"

"No time for that." I shake my head, digging my heels into his lower back only to pause, narrowing my eyes at him. "Unless-"

He shut me up with a kiss this time. "No." He murmurs, meeting my eyes, his firm grip tightening on my hips. "No one else but you."

I am surprised by his answer, but I just nod, letting him continue. I might not be able to read Baekhyun like a book as he says I do, but I know he doesn't fuck around when it comes to his health. Let alone when it concerns the pretty, thick dick he has. Brushing his hair away to look into his eyes, I part my lips only for my breath to hitch, blushing at the feeling of him aligning his cock with my entrance.

"May I?" He murmurs, resting his forehead on mine.

The annoying throb between my legs has me clenching my teeth. "If you don't-" I gasp, clutching onto his shoulders as he slides in to the hilt. The burn of him inside me after so long is more than I expected.

Baekhyun pauses to let me adjust, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips that just makes me spasm around him. A gasp escapes him in turn, his slender fingers digging into the soft swell of my hips. "Easy, baby." He strains, voice deepened in lust.

"Easy for you to say," I grumble through gritted teeth, my back arching when he circles his hips. He presses flush against my goosebump-covered skin, giving me warmth as he starts up a comfortable rhythm, spreading my legs as far as the counter will allow. I can't help but gulp, leaning back against my braced palms. Just the view of his stunning body fully dressed beside his unzipped leather pants is messing with my head, let alone his cock pressing every spot within my walls that drives me insane.

Baekhyun pulls out, and before I can say anything, I hear his knees hitting the floor. Silver locks of hairbrush against my inner thighs moments before warm, wet sensation brushes against my clit.

"Mmm," He moans, tightening his grip on my thighs when I jolt. He pulls me even closer to the edge of the counter, placing my legs over his shoulders, "Come here."

All I can manage to do is tangle my fingers in his luscious locks. Hopefully they are strong enough to sustain my knee-jerking tugs when he drags his lips over my core, sticking his tongue into my hole and taking my folds between his lips. Baekhyun is just… gentle, slurping and smacking his lips against my throbbing core without a care. He's taking his time down there as if he has all the time in the world. I feel bad for my arousal dripping onto the counter and all over his chin—it's embarrassing, but it's never been this… this good.

"So sweet," He murmurs, sliding his warm palms up my waist.

Trying my best not to succumb to the coil in my stomach, I risk a glance down at him. The sight of his tongue poking out from between his coated lips to caress my swollen nub in the gentlest of ways has me tensing up—even more so when his brown eyes flicker up to meet mine.

"Baekhyun." I pant, tugging harder on his hair.

"Come on," He breathes, gripping my hips when I start to tremble.

"B-Baekhyun." It takes everything in me to hold on, bracing myself against the counter. "I want you inside…" I throw my head back when he slips a finger inside, quickly followed by another.

"Give it to me." He demands, so softly in an airy tone, his breath hitching at a particularly hard tug on his roots. He's damn near pleading for it and it's driving me crazy. "Come all over my face, baby."

Yeah, there's no winning this fight. With his lewd words and soft lips wrapping tight around my clit, rolling it around inside of his mouth with his tongue, that's it. Game over. How I managed this long without falling over the edge by the works of his mouth is a mystery within itself.

Baekhyun doesn't stop humming and massaging my clit with his lips until I softly push his head away, closing my shaking legs. He stands back up, sliding his hands up my thighs and leaning in for a kiss. It's different from the others we've shared tonight, filled with a certain hint of gentleness and love that matches the yearning and adoration in his sparkly brown eyes.

"Fuck, Riley." Baekhyun pulls back, cock twitching in my hand when I rotate my wrist. He cards a hand through his hair, chuckling in disbelief. "You are driving me crazy."

"Yeah?" I drawl, wrapping my thighs around his waist. "Come show me crazy."

"I'm not gonna last…" He admits, looking worried.

"How long do you plan on loving me, Byun Baekhyun?" I demand, tucking my index finger under his chin for him to face me.

Baekhyun's eyes dance like shimmering orbs of light. "Until my last dying breath."

"Well," I breathe, butterflies fluttering my stomach when his words settle in. "I'm sure we can fit in plenty of rounds until then."

The sweetest smile forms on his handsome face before his brows knit together, biting his bottom lip when I pull him back inside, digging my heels into his back.

"Don't hold back," I whisper into his ear, brushing my lips over his neck. Baekhyun takes a shaky breath, pulling away until only his tip is in my sensitive core. The bruising grip he has on my hips is the only warning I get before he plunges back inside.

Baekhyun doesn't hold back in the slightest. He sets a fast, near brutal pace, lifting my hips to slam inside of me at an angle that has me screaming his name, clinging onto his clothed shoulders for dear life.

"Fuck, baby." He groans, his steady rhythm taking on sloppy, shallow thrusts. The squelch of our joined bodies stirs up an unexpected heat in me. "I'm gonna-"

"Yeah," I breathe, locking my legs around the back of his trembling thighs. My heart and pussy clench in earnest at the expression on his face.

Baekhyun pants, sweat dripping down his forehead and falling off of his jaw. The flap of his jacket exposing his chest with his shaky movements. "Can I-"

I lick the salty sweat from his heated skin, sucking harshly where his collarbone meets his gorgeous neck. "Inside me, B."

He groans the loudest one of the night, hiding his face in my neck as he pounds into me. His cum spills deep inside, hot and messy. The warmth of it triggers my own release. I have to bite down on his shoulder to contain the uncontrollably loud moan that's ripped from my throat with his final gentle thrusts.

Baekhyun slows down to a stop, his chest flushed to mine while we try to regain our breath. The smell of sweat and sex permeating the air has me giggling breathlessly, running my fingers through his damp hair.

"Fuck—baby," He mutters, hurrying to pull out. "Your dress."

"It's-" I moan, biting my lip when he slides his fingers back in.

"Where's a towel," He frantically looks around, the most comically concerned expression on his handsome, dewy face. "There it is! Ah, it's too far away... I'm sorry, baby-" He stops when I wrap my hand around his wrist, slipping his cum covered fingers between my lips.

"Take it off of me," I whisper, staring right into his dilated eyes.

"You'll be cold," He murmurs, looking between my eyes and my mouth sucking on his fingertips.

"Then warm me up," I purr, wrapping my thighs back around his waist.

Baekhyun's jaw drops, his cock already stirring against me. I reach down to take him into my hand, rubbing my fingers around his tip. "You'll be the death of me." He groans, tangling his hand in my hair and pulling me into a searing kiss.

Hours later, we're curled up in bed. My head on his pillow with his hands in my hair.

"W-Will you stay the night?" Baekhyun whispers, brown eyes no longer showing signs of tiredness.

I smile, completely in love with this new side of him. Baekhyun, in all that he is, is the most beautiful man in the world. "Of course, baby," I murmur, tracing random shapes on his honey skin.

He perks up with the most beautiful smile growing on his face, gently pulling me closer until my head rests on his chest, his fast-beating heart a dead giveaway to how happy he is. I kiss over his heart, looking up into his shimmering brown pools of love. Is he...? Gently swiping my finger under his eye has a tear falling down his cheek. And another. And another…

"You mean everything to me," He breathes, arms and legs tangled so much with mine I don't know where he ends and I begin.

I smile, falling asleep to the beat of his steady heart and the security of his warm arms. "You mean the world to me."

•••

Time goes by so fast when you're happy and in love, turning even your hardest days into nights that you want to remember. Just having that person you love the most by your side, through thick and thin, for better or for worse, makes all the difference in the world.

—The only downside is how agonizing time passes when you are apart.

I pop my bubble gum with my chin resting in my palm, humming and tapping my pen on my desk. After catching up on a day's worth of paperwork, (blame my procrastination… and spending the weekend at Baekhyun's,) I'm bored, impatiently waiting for noon. There's only one way to fix this mood before I'm in a slump for the rest of the day, and looking at the home screen of my phone, I plan to arrange that very soon.

As soon as 12:00 pops up on the clock, I tap the first number on my speed dial, pressing my ringing phone to my ear.

"Hello?" His honey-smooth voice flutters over the line.

"Baekhyun." I apply a fresh layer of lip gloss to my lips, tucking away my hair to make sure my diamond earrings don't get tangled. "Are you free for lunch?"

"Yeah." He mumbles distractedly, shuffling papers filter through the call before a door shuts.

"Come over." I demand, hanging up. Pushing back from my desk, I walk over to my vanity table, straightening out my black lace, sleeveless bra from under my robe. It's mid-Spring again, already hot enough to wake me up in the middle of the night when I don't sleep with my fan on. The perfect excuse for what I have planned for my "week off" of work. I don't care how many business meetings I have to host from the comfort of my own home.

The doorbell rings just as I'm smoothing down my hair, checking my reflection one last time in the mirror. I make my way out of my bedroom and into the living room, pulling the door open with haste.

Baekhyun stands on the other side with wide, frantic eyes, dressed impeccably in a black suit with his slicked back silver hair the slightest bit ruffled. "Riley, what-"

I yank him inside, crashing my lips to his, pressing his body to the door before it slams shut. His scent surrounds me in seconds, vanilla-scented clothes with traces of smoke. The rich citrus of his soft hair and the hint of musk on his skin from a long day of work. My hands are undoing his tucked in shirt before he can get a word in.

"Riley." He grunts, holding me close as I trail messy kisses down his gorgeous neck. I walk backwards to the couch, toppling onto it with him following me.

"How long before your next meeting?" I murmur, pulling him closer by his tie.

Baekhyun visibly gulps, brown eyes darkening significantly before they flicker back up to mine. "They'll survive." He chuckles, licking his lips, leaning in for another frenzied kiss.

Yeah, Baekhyun wasn't kidding about him being a workaholic—which I already knew, but damn if it isn't annoying sometimes. He's more busy stressing over the new designs for his clothing line than helping me plan his 27th birthday party. All my subtle questions to find out what he would want have been futile. It's just been him typing on that damn computer of his for hours.

I go around spraying the plants in his office, talking sweetly to each of them to make sure they get enough Co2. Their droopy leaves need some perking up with the sheer amount of gloom coming off of Baekhyun's furiously typing form.

He abruptly stops, sighing loudly for the 100th time today. "I should give up."

"Nooo," I pout, walking behind his chair to wrap my arms around his neck, taking a small peek at the rough sketches on his computer. " Keep going, don't give up now."

Baekhyun smiles tiredly, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand. "What do you know about that, hmm?"

"A bit." I smile softly, lightly resting my head on his. "Things may seem shaky now. Just out of reach. No longer within your control." Twirling his hair around my finger, I smile to myself. "But that's okay, it means you are being challenged. And a challenge conquered to the best of your abilities will do you a lot of good." I close my eyes, basking in his presence and comforting scent. "So keep going, you'll never know what you are capable of until you reach the end."

My eyes snap open when Baekhyun suddenly spins around, staring up at me with wide, teary brown eyes. "B-" I wheeze, not expecting him to pull me into his arms, hugging me like a lifeline. "Baekhyun…?" I try again, growing alarmed when his tears wet the front of my shirt.

He only holds me tighter in response, his chest silently heaving against mine. I slowly wrap my arms around him and gently tangle my fingers in his hair, pressing a kiss to his ear.

He's adorable, in every way, shape, and form. Ugh, I'm going to end up in a love-induced coma one day with the way my heartbeat always skips when I'm around him. No matter if I'm meeting him for lunch or if he comes to work across from me at my desk when I'm chasing deadlines, I wouldn't change a thing for the world.

—Except maybe his sense of timing things.

I startle awake, clutching my racing heart with unsteady breathing. The details of my nightmare slowly fade away, but it does little to calm me down. Feeling a sense of urgency, I clumsily search around for my phone. I'll text Baekhyun; I need to make sure he is okay.

My eyes squint at the bright screen of my phone, not expecting to check it in the middle of the night, let alone the notification I find there.

Baekhyunee💘💕🥺💓😘

Thursday, 2:34 am

Riley

Hlep

I nee d u

I fly out of bed like a bat out of hell, rushing over to his apartment, nearly hitting three pedestrians on the way. Parking hazardly in the first empty parking spot I find before jumping out and all but running to the fourth floor. I pound on his door loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood until he opens up, revealing bloodshot eyes and a can of beer in his hand.

"Baekhyun, what's wrong?" I pant, resting my hands on my knees and frantically looking him over. He mumbles something unintelligible under his breath. "What?" I demand, trying to catch my breath.

"I-I just..." He mumbles sluggishly, slouching his shoulders with sadness in his puppy eyes. "I just miss you."

My frantic heart softens. "Get inside and sit down." I demand, pressing a kiss to his cheek before closing the door.

I love this man so fucking much. Even if he annoyingly wakes me up sometimes at 2 to 3 am, I'd run over to his place with my baggy pants and sleeping cap in a heartbeat.

•••

June rolls back around before I know it. This time, however, I plan to decline Jongin's offer to participate in the dance competition again. But to my uttermost surprise, he'll be taking Kyungsoo instead. For tap dancing.

???

Just how multi-talented is Baekhyun's group of friends? Spare me some of that energy, please?

Speaking of friends, Chanyeol's tall figure invited us over to his house today, the mansion that he used to share with Baekhyun and Jongdae.

—I have a grudge against him right now though because he literally called Baekhyun in the middle of the night to challenge him to some video game duel. The comical way his face changed when he saw me glaring at him from the corner of their video call though. By the end of their conversation, an invite was extended to me and Sehun too. It's "best friends" night, and boy do I have a lesson for Park Chanyeol. Lesson one: never underestimate a woman on a mission. In work, life, or on the playing field.

"Damn, man," I mumble, looking wide eyed at the huge flat screen TV and various game consoles around the room. "Leave you alone with the mansion for 2 years and you stocked up your mancave to the finest degree."

Chanyeol flicks a few buttons on the wall next to the door that dims the lights, letting the bright TV and a few arcade games illuminate the room. Baekhyun's eyes twinkle brighter than anything else in the spacious room. He goes over to chat with Chanyeol while I stand in the doorway with Sehun.

"Hey," I whisper, nudging him. "Remember when you used to stream your games back in the day? And the pink hair?"

"Oh yeah." Sehun chuckles while I notice Chanyeol perk up out of the corner of my eye. "I had a setup similar to this back at home." He stuffs his hands in his pockets, taking another look around. "Less impressive though," He mutters, crinkling his nose.

Chanyeol quickly walks over. "Number one victory royale?" He asks, eyes wide. "King of the south-bound?"

"Moisty mire extraordinaire...?" Sehun inquires, eyes widening as well.

Chanyeol stares him down for a long, hard minute, and then raises his hand. "Truce?"

Sehun smirks, gripping Chanyeol's hand firmly in his. "Truce."

I blink, more than confused. Baekhyun catches my eye and just winks.

Originally posted by exo-stentialism

I'm having a huge dilemma—no, a midlife crisis. All hell is about to break loose and I'll be in the center of it.

Baekhyun asked me out on a date—I know, I know, listen!

He asked me out on a date… with barely any hints on what to wear.

He didn't say, "wear whatever you want," when I called him earlier. He told me to, "wear something nice."

Nice?! Nice. That's all I got while he remained tight-lipped about his own outfit. At least give me a color, man!!!

So, here I am, swiping clothes left and right in my closet like a madwoman until my eyes land on the perfect dress. One of sheer beauty and elegance.

A white, off the shoulder, hollowed out strapless mini dress with floral patterns from start to finish. The sleeves are made completely out of lace, the ends resting beautifully on the back of my hand. I smile at my reflection in the mirror, keeping my makeup light, only focused on enhancing my features. My phone buzzes just as I recap my eyeliner.

Your chariot awaits.

Giggling, I quickly type up a reply, tucking my phone into my clutch while wondering what this 'chariot' could be. Baekhyun sure does fancy using these cheesy words lately it seems.

Strutting down to the parking lot as gracefully as this dress will allow, I feel thankful for the warm summer night air. Bugs and I, when I'm wearing a dress like this, I need all the warmth I can get.

A blue jeep pulls up and honks at me, confusing me for a second because it isn't Baekhyun's Audi until they roll the passenger window down, revealing Jongdae's ever-bored face.

I blink a few times. "...What kind of low budget uber is this?"

"Yah!" Chanyeol loudly protests, barely overpowering Jongdae's rambunctious laughter. He glares at the brunet clutching his stomach.

"Hop in, Cinderella." Jongdae chuckles as the car doors unlock.

I carefully climb into the back seat, readjusting the hem of my dress.

"Someone got all dolled up tonight." Jongdae grins, shooting a teasing look back at me.

"Ubers don't talk much, Dae." I point out, watching the city lights fly by while Chanyeol pulls off and navigates us down barely familiar roadways. "Where are we going?"

Chanyeol meets my eye in the rearview mirror. "Where do you think?"

"If I didn't have your mother's number on my speed dial I'd call the police, Park," I grumble, resting my elbow on the car door and my chin in my palm. Jongdae's laughter quirks a smile on my lips while Chanyeol continues driving with furrowed brows and a grumpy frown on his face.

After a while of speeding cars and the radio quietly playing, a certain blue building catches my eye. "Where are we?" I perk up, my eyes widening at a sign in the distance. "Is this...?"

"UN Village," Jongdae supplies.

"Step on the gas, Yeol."

"I-I'm not sure you want to do that, Riley." Jongdae tries to diffuse the situation, his weary features flickering over to the competitive expression forming on Chanyeol's face. "You could get motion sickness and-"

"I thought you were the fastest on the road, Yeol," I fake pout, subtly making sure my seatbelt is secure. "I guess I was wrong."

"Oh yeah?" The tall oaf counters, bursting for a challenge at this point.

"Riley," Jongdae tries again when Chanyeol sits up straighter, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "Don't-"

I curl my lips up into a shameless, cheshire cat grin. "Betcha."

My back thuds against the seat when he accelerates. Chanyeol weaves in and out between other vehicles on the road like no one's business. Thankfully the traffic is light tonight and we are taking a lot of unpopular backroads. Heaven knows what would happen if he did this in the heart of Seoul.

Jongdae holds onto the passenger car door and the back of Chanyeol's seat for dear life, the reflection of him in the mirror looking a little green against the bright city lights. By the time Chanyeol slows to a stop, he's leaning his arm across the dashboard, tucking his head between his knees.

"Never," He croaks out, gasping for air. "Again."

Chanyeol's triumphant smirk has me holding back a giggle. I direct my eyes out the window to avoid Jongdae's disgruntled glare.

"Ha! You call that fast?" I grin, hopping out of the car on wobbly legs. "My Grandma can drive better than that."

"Riley," Jongdae pipes up weakly, holding his stomach while Chanyeol's nostrils flare, big brown eyes ablazed. "Don't encourage him, he isn't your ride home."

I begin to rebuke, but pause, noticing an odd building in the distance. "What the…" It's a giant white structure with a curved entrance, another one of those intricate places that the Hannam-dong architects must have loved to build here. "What kind of building is that?"

"Keep walking," Chanyeol nods, gesturing to the long walkway between the tall walls. "You'll see."

Butterflies erupt in my stomach, making me nervous for a moment, but the good gut feeling I get from looking between both their expressive eyes encourages me to move forward. "Thanks for the ride, Yeol," I say softly, patting his jeep before taking a few steps back. Smirking mischievously over at Jongdae. "Sorry for making you lose your lunch, Dae."

He waves me off with a fake annoyed expression, not able to hide the curl of his little smile.

I spin around on my heels, walking through the entrance between the two curved walls. The clicks of my heels on the pavement is the only sound I hear. Following the uneven path, I crinkle my nose, wondering what the hell Baekhyun is up to this time. Got me out here walking down curved pathways in the dark.

Well, apparently the building curls all the way around to a see-through door in the middle, but that isn't what makes me stop in my tracks. It's that flash of familiar silver hair.

Baekhyun leans against the wall with his silver hair parted in the middle, twinkling under the bright lights. Wearing a white blazer, a white t-shirt and silver leather pants. The metal of his belt catches the light along with the rings on his fingers and accessory necklaces adorning his neck.

I snap my jaw shut, making my way over to him. "Baekhyun…"

He smiles warmly, little strands of hair dangling in his eyes in the most handsome way. "Hey."

"Hi," I whisper. "You look…" Eyeing him from head to toe—to those damn sexy heeled boots, I'm at a loss for words. "Wow."

Baekhyun chuckles, moving off of the wall to walk closer to me, taking me by the hand. "You look beautiful as well," He murmurs, kissing every knuckle on the back of my hand.

I feel my face heat up all the way up to my ears. I've only been out here with him for 5 minutes and I'm already about to faint from the softness blooming in my frantic heart. "What are we doing tonight?" I ask softly, not sure if I want to keep gazing into his sparkly brown eyes or look away from the butterfly-inducing adoration written all over his face.

"It's a surprise," Baekhyun supplies, chuckling at the impatient expression on my face. He brings my hand to his cheek, staring deeply into my eyes. "Walk with me?"

My heart goes into overdrive. With that look on your face? I couldn't deny you if I tried.

I nod and let him take the lead, resting my head on his shoulder. There's something about being with him at night like this. Something unexplainable and magical in the air. The soft fabric of his blazer brushing against my cheek and the light July wind blowing through his hair. He's so warm and smells so good I have to bite my tongue not to drag him back to my apartment just to curl up next to him on the couch.

Something tells me that tonight will be a special one, but really, if it's with Baekhyun, anywhere and everywhere, I'll love it either way.

I notice something out of the corner of my eye when we step out onto a sidewalk, briefly lifting my head from Baekhyun's shoulder. "Dokseodang Children's Park?" I mumble curiously.

Baekhyun hums. "This is my favorite place." His eyes sweep over the slightly aged equipment, resting a hand on my back.

Humming myself, I start to reply only for my eyes to dart over at the dirt road ahead.

Baekhyun immediately takes notice, coming to a stop at the edge of the sidewalk. "What is it, hmm?"

I look up at the annoyingly buzzing light pole. "That flickering light-"

Baekhyun snaps his fingers, and the whole world goes black for a moment, then a dozen lights twinkle in the darkness. Fireflies lighting up the night under the shine of the full moon.

"Come on." His honey-smooth voice rings, softly squeezing my hand before leading the way. I rest my other hand on his arm and watch my every step, realizing we are climbing a hill with the deep slope brushing against the front of my heels. Grass crunches under our footsteps, crickets sing their late night songs of cheer, and then I see a peek of something bright as we near the top of the hill. I gasp, nearly tripping in my haste to get a closer look, my heartbeat skyrocketing when we reach the edge of the steep hill.

A stunning table seated for two sits in the middle of the plateau, with a cooler holding an unopened bottle of champagne. Dome-covered plates are set on the white table cloth and a few candles are lit on the table. Vanilla fragrance flutters in the gentle wind as I take in the dozens of lanterns hung up in the tree above. Brightening up the area surrounded by miles upon miles of other rolling hills without outshining the moon. I even spot the UN Village sign at the other side of the park; you can see everything from up here.

"Baekhyun…"

He smiles so brightly when I look at him. "Yes, my love?"

You mesmerizing little hopeless romantic. I can only press a kiss to his soft cheek, hugging him.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes," I mumble into the safety of his shoulder.

He rests his head on mine, hugging me to his chest. "Then why are you hiding, hmm?"

"I love it so much," I mutter, fully content to stay here for a few more minutes. "It's so pretty I have tears in my eyes. I can't believe you."

Baekhyun chuckles, rubbing my back so soothingly it takes all my strength to not melt further against him. The heavenly scent of vanilla once again meets my nose; we have a date waiting for us.

Slowly pulling away, I look into his sparkly brown eyes, smiling shyly before making my way over to the table. He's a step ahead of me in an instant, pulling out a chair for me while I giggle, hiding my adoring smile and red face behind my hand. God, my heart is racing so hard I swear it's threatening to jump out and run to him.

I give him a grateful smile, my skin buzzing under the familiarity of his gentle touch when he pushes me in, his citrus and cinnamon scent perfectly blending with the vanilla while he walks to take his own seat across from me.

Baekhyun sighs softly, tilting his head with a nearly playful smile. "Ready?"

Grinning a little, I tilt my head to the opposite side, relishing in the twinkles of amusement sparkling in his eyes. "Ready as I'll ever be."

He chuckles. "On three?"

I nod, gripping the handle on the top of the dome cover with another smile.

"One," He leans closer to his dome, mischief swirling in his brown eyes. "Two."

More than amused, I play along, butterflies fluttering in my stomach under his beaming smile.

"Three!"

I lift up the dome, setting it aside while taking in the food neatly arranged on the plate. It's a Korean cuisine that I haven't seen before, full of delectable vegetables and tender meat. Watching Baekhyun take his first bite has my mouth watering for two reasons. I carefully cut a slice of beef, closing my eyes when it melts on my tongue. Holy shit, who is the chef behind this? That person needs a raise.

"Kyungsoo made it," Baekhyun smiles, chuckling when I hum at my next bite. "I have to help him out next week though," He frowns, nearly pouting. "He doesn't like doing things last minute."

Recalling the whole ordeal for Jenny's birthday, I can't help but laugh. "I know," I smile, resting my chin in my palm.

Baekhyun smiles, his nose scrunching adorable while cutting another piece of meat.

Conversation flows naturally between us, as always. Baekhyun is just like that, an easy person to talk to, but it's much different than before. He hums a lot, resting his chin on his palm while gazing at me with adoring and attentive eyes, the tiniest of loving smiles on his face. If I wasn't wearing this expensive white dress, I'd lean over the table and kiss the hell out of him.

However, the mood changes slightly when we are nearly done. He keeps tapping his fingers on the table and his foot against the leg of his chair, clearing his throat with a worried expression on his face.

"Bae?" I call softly, tilting my head at his lack of response. Tired of the constant clink of his leather boot against the wooden chair, I nudge my foot against his. "Are you alright?"

He blinks, sitting up straight at once. "Yes, love." He clears his throat again, smiling shyly. "Wanna dance with me?"

"Dance?" I look around at the grassy nature and chirping wildlife, meeting his eyes again. "There isn't any music here, B."

He shakes his head, standing up. "Yes there is."

"I-" I go quiet when he takes my hand, resting it over his beating heart. Looking up into his imploring brown eyes, I start to understand. I nod, slowly standing up as well, following him over to the empty side of the hill.

Baekhyun lifts up our joined hands, interlocking our fingers together and resting his other one on the small of my back. I rest my free hand on his shoulder, gazing deeply into his brown pools of warmth. He makes the first move, slowly stepping forward while I take a step back. The crickets chirp louder with every movement we make, growing more confident by the minute.

Melting at the way his heart beats against mine, I look up at the stars, millions and billions of twinkling lights filling up the night sky. Meeting Baekhyun's gaze again, however, reminds me that not all the stars and planets combined can outshine the sparkling light in his warm brown eyes. He smiles softly as if hearing my thoughts, squeezing my hand before spinning me around, welcoming me right back into his loving arms.

I could spend forever like this, staring into his eyes and listening to his beating heart. Just the two of us while the rest of the world fades away, nothing but background noise to our undying love.

"Look," Baekhyun perks up, looking up at the stars. My eyes flicker up, widening at the shooting star streaking across the night sky. "Make a wish," He murmurs warmly, taking a step back.

Feeling a sense of hope and childlike urgency, I whip around to face the star head on. What should I wish for? The star is reaching the edge of the sky! Sensing Baekhyun's comforting figure behind me, I have all the answers I need.

I wish… Closing my eyes, I clasp my hands together, finding strength in the soft summer breeze. For a love like this, for all of eternity. The last few streaks of the star fade away when I open my eyes, smiling softly until I remember where I am and a certain someone who is with me. Where is Baekhyun? Stiffening up, I quickly spin around in alarm, slapping my hands over my mouth at the sight.

Baekhyun: on one knee, holding up a small jewelry box with shaky hands and vulnerable. "Why do you look so scared?" He breaks the ice, chuckling nervously.

"I thought you left," I blurt, snapping my mouth shut.

He laughs fully this time. "No." He shakes his head, smiling up at me with the sweetest of smiles. "I'm right here."

I take a deep breath, nodding slowly.

"I love you," He declares warmly, keeping his eyes steady on mine. "I love the way my name falls from your lips, the soft swell of your hips, the love in your fingertips." He smiles. "How your doe eyes go wide when you're surprised. The way you curl up next to me in your sleep when I'm working at night." A little grin forms on his face. "The shy expression you get when you ask if I want the rest of your food and that little song you always sing nonstop around the house when you're happy."

I cover my face in embarrassment, peeking at him from between my fingers.

Baekhyun chuckles, continuing, "I love the little notes you leave when you make me lunch. The way you squeak when I kiss right here." He taps the back of his right ear. "Your beautiful mind and all the mischief that comes with it..." He laughs a little. "The way you nag me when I don't dry my hair and yet always end up doing it for me anyway."

"Your sarcasm and loving touch," He murmurs, sparkles dancing bright in his eyes. "The dimples you try to hide when you smile." He cracks another grin. "Your quirky mismatched socks and way of talking." He laughs warmly when I groan, rethinking all my life choices. "How red your face gets when I compliment you." He hums. "Your loud, high pitched, raspy laugh that I know you hate but I simply adore."

"Oh my god," I cover my eyes, knowing how right he is and how hot my face feels right now.

"How sexy your accent is and how sassy you get when you're angry," He murmurs humorously, giving me a knowing look. "That high horse you climb on when you don't want to admit you are wrong that leaves me frustrated and amused at the same time." He chuckles, sighing softly, his voice taking on a gentler tone. "The look on your face when you cry that makes me want to hold you and hide you away from the world."

My heart squeezes as tears spring to my eyes. I sniffle softly, fanning my face while meeting his loving eyes.

"I love everything about you." He takes a shaky breath. "Not a day goes by where I'm not grateful for you coming into my life."

He looks down for a moment, blinking rapidly before flicking his hair out of his eyes. "I know I'm not much," He mumbles. "I-I know I've done so much shit in the past that you have every right to walk out on me for. I know that you deserve way better than me." He swallows thickly, lips trembling before he presses them into a thin line. "Even with all of this, I have some promises I want to make."

Baekhyun raises his head, reaching to take my hand in his. "I promise not to run away. I promise to communicate. I promise to stay by your side through every blessing and hardship you go through." My heart pounds at the determination in his words and sincerity in his shimmering eyes. "I may not be the perfect man for you." A hint of remorse sparks briefly in his brown eyes. "But I promise to love you with all that I have—with all that I am," He pauses, holding my hand securely in his. "Until my last dying breath… If I break any of these promises you have permission to kick me where the sun doesn't shine." He mumbles in a jokingly grumpy tone, smiling when I giggle.

"I promise to love you until the end of time." His voice starts to wobble, hands shaking while looking deep into my eyes. "Please," He opens the box, revealing a sparkly, rose gold ring with matching gems lining the sides. "Marry me, and be mine."

"Yes." I choke out, tears streaming down my face when I bend down to cup his tear-streaked cheeks in my hands. "Yes. Yes! A million times yes."

Baekhyun stands up, slipping the ring onto my ring finger with uttermost care. As soon as he's done, he pulls me close, sealing my lips in a searing kiss that I gladly let take my breath away.

Originally posted by exo-stentialism

"Unzip me?" I ask, peeking up at him from under my eyelashes.

Baekhyun hums and I spin around, chills going down my spine when his hands gently brush my hair out of the way, warm fingertips brushing over my cool skin. The instant relief of being free from the snug material has nothing on his quiet gasp as he slowly drags the zipper down. He steps back while I shrug off the dress, leaving it to pool at my feet before turning to face him.

His hair color looks out worldly under the favor of the moonlight; shining strands of silver and dark grey swaying with the summer breeze. The way the light reflects off his chains casts him in an eternal glow as he looks at me with those warm, brown eyes. The hints of adoration and need in those captivating orbs break me from my trance.

I take more steps until I'm standing in front of him, pushing his blazer off his shoulders and tilting my head to meet his awestruck gaze, my tone soft and warm, "Baekhyun."

He gulps, letting it fall to the floor while I rest my hand on his chest, placing the other on the back of his neck. The fast beating of his heart under my palm makes me smile before my lips press to his, savoring the taste of champagne on his tongue. I tighten my hold on him when he wraps his arms around my waist, backing me up to the bed.

I sit perched on the edge of the mattress, looking up at him when he pulls off his t-shirt, exposing lean muscle and honey-toned skin to my hungry eyes. I can't help rubbing down his chest and gazing at him from head to toe, smiling at the tint of pink to his cheeks. His leather pants join the scattered pile on the floor before he joins me on the bed, his gentle hands pulling off the rest of our clothes.

"You sure are being bashful tonight," I murmur, lightly tangling my fingers in his hair, relishing in how his warm body presses mine to the cool sheets.

Baekhyun smiles, pressing a chaste kiss to my collarbone. "Let's take things slow tonight." He meets my wide eyes with his adoring ones, pulling the covers over our bodies when I give a timid nod.

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

youtube

Cry with me

A/N:

HA! Y'all thought I was going to break these two up forever. I still had the Un Village scene left!!! >:'D A lot has happened in this long asf Finale and you know, on one hand (me being me) I'm never satisfied with it, HOWEVER those last two scenes? Yeah, that's the best for me. :')

Okay I NEED TO RANT for 2 minutes. *inhale*

I have never, ever EVER had such a hard time writing a character. My perfectionism really popped out in Jackson's scenes, I swear. I tried writing about this man and it just didn't feel right because I don't know him as well. I legit spent almost a week watching Youtube videos, GOT7 music videos, JACKSON SOLO VIDEOS and fell down a rabbit hole of smut (typical smfh) just to figure out how to present him properly! I know writing is all about how you present your character and how you can make them different than the person you base them off of but holy f*ck I wanted him accurate and that accuracy kicked me in my nonexistent balls… so that up there was the final result *deep exhale*

After all of this I can safely say that Jackson is one of my favorite soloists and member of GOT7 bye-

-THE ACTUAL END NOTE WITHOUT THE RAMBLING-

We've finally made it, loves. Six Phases is completed. It's been 2 long years of writing this story. 2 years full of laughter, smiles, dance breaks, hardships and tears.

I'm writing this end note before I even finish the story that you've read above. I'm writing this little note while on hiatus. I'm writing this while in the process of working on this story so I can heal - because that is the very reason this story was created. For healing. For growth.

The Baekhyun character you all know, see, hate and love? His expressions of love are heavily influenced by IRL Jenny; my girlfriend; my heart. My coauthor; my other half.

Without her, I wouldn't know genuine happiness, vulnerability, or to know that someone can love you unconditionally. Flaws and all. Without her, I would have stopped at chapter 4 and disappeared from the writing world forever. She taught me that it is okay to be open, my loud annoying rambling self and that I deserve to follow my dreams. She has stopped me from deleting this story a hundred times. She is the reason why I opened my heart time and time again to truly let these characters' voices be heard. Their flaws and all.

Every character is a part of me, but Baekhyun and Jenny are inspired by her. I can't express how grateful I am to her without crying on you; I've cried enough happy tears while finishing this lmao SO just know that she has helped me a lot with completing this story, and for what I will write in the future.

Before I end this note that has gone on for too long already, I want to express my gratitude and love to everyone who has helped me continue and finish this story. Please don't feel bad if I don't mention you directly, I have warmth in my heart for everyone who has read Six Phases. You being here means the world to me.

Loving Mentions

Miss Kay - you seriously don't know how much you have restored my love for this story. I'll never forget the first time you reblogged SP on tumblr and your comment still brings tears to my eyes. I always thought this story was garbage and seeing how much you enjoyed reading it encouraged me to pick up where I left off. Thank you for everything <3 I can't thank you enough.

Miss Jamie - I always love reading your comments and the theories you had with each new chapter of the story. I'll never forget that Minute Man joke, I swear. I'm still laughing over it. Not to be giddy but I always look forward to your comments ^^ Thank you for always sharing your thoughts about the story with me <3

Sherlock Holmes Anon - dear, you and your THEORIES!!! I adore them all. I love all the knowledge you've brought to the table about the meaning of the colors in this story and its universe. You are amazing and everything you are studying is paying off!!! Wishing you all the best in your studies ^^ show those exams who's boss, they got nothing on you and your lovely brain <333333

My aff loves

Beau1996, alexajjang, byundipyun,

queeniexoxo, byunsugar, Taqdees,

juntar, Vish15, baeknhyu,

Baekie_18, Endzii22, ohyeahbb, Shawolgurl, bbhmystar.

- thank you for all of your lovely comments. Your words made me the happiest in the world. Every time I used to get those instant aff notifs on my phone, I'd run across my house to read them, ahhh~~~ I always love hearing from you <33333

My tumblr lovelies - thank you sooo much for all the love and interactions you've given to my story T-T I'm not tearing up, it's the cake batter in my eyes. You guys are amazing.

My beloved anon readers, tumblr and aff commenters - I'm sending you so many freaking hugs and tissues for the angst you've been exposed to XD hearing the hot tea and ideas you had for this story was such a joy. Thank you <3

I've spent hours a day replying back to you all, no joke. Every comment is precious to me and I always want to give back what you all have given me <333 I hope this story's ending was a happy one for you, I've had it planned since fall 2020 and I'm so happy to finally be able to share it with all of you.

Thank you, for interacting, commenting, subscribing, and upvoting. I appreciate all the love you've given this baby (haha) fic of mine more than you can ever imagine. This story is dedicated to all of you <3

-and oh, don't worry. This isn't the end of Baekhyun & Riley's story, this is only the beginning. <3

Thank you, can't wait to see you soon 0:) <3

~Love a million times over, Nisa

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#baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun romance #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun angst #The End #Six Phases

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curiousochako · 4 years

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Evolution on Todomomo (and how its not as a bad as alot of people in the fandom are making it out to be)

Now I’ve been meaning to make a post in defense of Todomomo because from what I see on bnha twt a lot of people just resort to calling the two of them “boring” or making claims that Momo is a lesbian and Shouto as gay (which are fine to head canon if they are a comfort for you) but in the context that most people use to hate on todomomo I see this being used as a way to dismiss the pair

I first want to link this tumblr post that list some of the todomomo moments (whether they are subtle or moments that mean alot more then what mets the eye)

https://mysterylover123.tumblr.com/post/184164201991/top-todomomo-moments

Todoroki and Momo both got in to U.A by recommendations:

I know that this dosen’t really mean alot in terms of a moment but its just something I wanted to point out in terms of a similarity. Being taken in by recommendations is a huge thing as it shows the audience that both of their skill levels have already been observed by U.A.

Importance of Todoroki praising Momo during the Final Exams:

With this topic I feel that those who tend to claim that the ship is “boring” or just wouldn’t make sense in canon fail to see the significance of that moment. I have to say that I am a bit surprised that alot of the hate comes from Shouto stans. The reason I say this is because that moment of recognition on Momo’s end wasn’t only a benefit for her character (since she finally heard someone tell her that they trust her and believe in her) but Shouto’s as well (since that moment was the first time that the audience saw Shouto taking what he learned from Midoriya at the sports festival about seeing the best in others and using that to help someone else).

For Shouto’s character something such as being able to help others is big for his character since the Final exams arc came in the second season. In specific he told her that he voted for her whenever the class was doing the class representative elections because “I thought you were good at that sort of thing.” that scene showed the audience that Shouto has some admiration for her and that he was one of the only students to analyze Momo’s self confidence issue and try and help her. Because of his honesty she was able to bounce back and find a way for the two of them to beat Aizawa during their final exams

Also going further back from the final exams arc we had a subtle todomomo indication and that was when she was picked to be on Todoroki’s calvary team (that moment showcased Shouto recognizing the strength that Yaoyorozu had hence why he picked her to be on his team) Sure he could have chosen anyone else instead of her but something small and barely much to look into detail will always be a form of foreshadowing on whats to come for later.

But Deku and Bakugou have more growth with Shouto:

I’ve heard this reasoning many times as well (which no one can deny the importance that Bakugou and Midoriya have in Shouto’s life). Midoriya even emphasis that Shouto is “his friend.” and this might just be me being a bit peeved but its a bit hypocritical whenever Todomomo shippers will just enjoy their moment in the final exams arc and antis will make the “but they only had one moment.” counter argument even though no one says anything when it comes to Midoriya calling Shouto a friend (which isn’t meant in a romantic sense).

Now considering that Midoriya is the main character of the series it makes a lot of sense for him to be involved in Shouto’s character arc (which is about the unveiling of his family).

I truly wonder where the whole “Bakugou had more growth with Shouto.” argument came into play. From what we know about their bond in canon they bicker and banter (showcasing a playful bond that makes the audience smile) which is a good thing but we never really see the characters either break the others walls to learn more about them or influence each other and make each other stronger. So when I see people compare this to todomomo I kind of just sigh. Sure Todomomo might have less moments then that pair but what Shouto has done to help Momo’s self confidence has carried with her from that point onward in the story. We now see Momo creating plans and being much more confident in herself (I mean when she created the sedative to make Machia go to sleep she showed a side to herself that Shouto already saw in her).

In the case of Midoriya and Todoroki’s bond that same method of helping others has been applied to Shouto’s character during the Sports festival where he tells him that his power “is his not his fathers.” which knowing Izuku thats the kind of person that he is; as a audience we are able to see that he is kind in nature and is known for creating bonds. That moment is truly important for Shouto as a character (which i’m glad the fandom dosen’t tear apart) So my question is for those who stan Shouto is if you are able to accept Izuku’s kind nature of helping Shouto why must Shouto’s moment of helping Yaoyorozu be swept under the rug and just referred to as “boring.”

I mean if anyone truly looked at the final exams moment and only thought that it benefited Yaoyorozu then you skipped over some of the subtle hints Horikoshi has been putting into their dynamic. Yes; it helped Yaoyorozu as a character believe in herself and to trust her decision making but at the same time it showed us that Shouto is perceptive and can give good advice when needed (as well as thinking more about others instead of what he did pre sports festival).

Kamino Ward arc:

During this arc whenever Bakugou was captured. Trust was built between the two character as Momo tells both Kirishima and Todoroki that she “trusted todoroki” hence her involvement in helping them find their friends. At first she was reluctant but agreed when the two boys asked her.

Provisional License exams:

Small subtle moment that Hori put in their is whenever the audience saw Midoriya worried for Shouto (since he ended up failing the exams) we got to see Momo’s expression of worry as well. I know this dosen’t mean much but alot of the Todomomo moments that we do get are subtle like that. Even a small facial expression will mean something in the long run.

Two Heroes:

Again, another small moment of Todoroki using his ice to get everyone to leave the area while he fought some of the movie villains and Momo calling out his name in worry (its a common trope to have one person stay behind while the other is hesitant on leaving them) I am aware that this movie was more Bones heavy rather then Horikoshi but I don’t believe the studio would try any subtle hints of anything unless Horikoshi might of told them something regarding the pair.

Pro Hero Arc:

Like the Two Heroes Todomomo moment we also see Momo look over to Todoroki in worry (as well as the rest of the class) but seeing almost 3 moments where she is present and worried for him whenever Todoroki is either in some emotional state or just focused on something isn’t just for show. Horkoshi could have easily left her out but he wants the audience to see that Todoroki and Momo will have more conversations in the near future.

Joint Training:

In this arc Todoroki makes small comments during Kendo vs Yaoyorozu

"If Kendo separated Yaoyorozu from her team out of caution, then I think she's misjudged her."

"If she actually wanted to be cautious of Yaoyorozu, she should have crushed her 4 on 1 with her entire team's power right from the outset."

With these lines he show the audience how perceptive he is about the fight and shows some interest towards it. Shouto also believes in her abilities by making that first statement on Kendo misjudging Momo. However when Yaoyorozu lost to Kendo he comments

"...I hope she doesn't get all discouraged again."

Again he shows worry for her as he has already seen her doubts come full circle during the Final Exams arc. It also shows the significance that arc was for his relationship with Momo. He shows concern for her and dosen’t want her to feel discouraged over her loss against Kendo (despite the improvement she has shown us since that arc Shouto still holds a level of care for her).

So to only make claims such as “todomomo only had one moment” that character defined moment wasn’t swept under the rug as we have seen Momo’s insecurities being brought up again by Shouto (who might I add is the only student to know the full extent of them).

Drama CD: Ennichi Festival:

In this drama cd we had Todoroki and Momo spend the night together at the festival that they were at and Shouto opens up about his family to her. In this drama cd he felt like he was bothering her with all this info and Momo is the one to reassure him that he isn’t and that he should be more open about his feelings. Again a moment like this is good for Shouto since he is well known for keeping his feelings to himself (for him to have that type of reassurance would allow him to be more comfortable in his own skin).

You could say in a way that their roles were reversed from how they acted in the Final Exams with this time Shouto showing a bit of insecurity and uncertainty while Momo initiates a method to help him.

Link to the drama cd on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggS9rXS_1ys

Link to all Todomomo moments animated so far:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKr8WOK05RQ

#tdmm #todomomo #todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto #bnha #mha #my hero academia #momo yaoyorozu #shouto x creati #shoto x creati #boku no academia #curiousochako:evolution on todomomo #boku no hero #todomomo deserves more respect from this fandom

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everythingblreview · 3 years

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Slow Damage review 2.0 Part 1

It’s 16 pages actually

Hello I’m back and instead of actually writing a new review of a game, or playing a new game that’s a lie I’m playing more than one VN at the same time right now. I’ve been thinking a lot about slow damage lately and wanted to write my full thoughts/analysis on it. For this occasion, I replayed the game. This will be full of spoiler of everything in the game as well as the spoiler of the short story.

Disclaimer: This is MY opinion, I’m not wanting to start a discussion, this is just how I experienced the game. Not everything here will be in a positive light and I don’t hold back from criticize what I didn’t like. This is a fictional game so please don’t attack me. But if you are fine with me babbling 16 pages about the game, you can go ahead. Important to note: Towa is my favourite character, so my thought on the routes are all Towa centered

(I probaly forgot some stuff but please excuse the game is really long)

I will start from the unlocked route and work toward the true route. Starting with Taku~

Taku

After replaying Taku’s route I noticed some differences to my first time playing.

First his route was my second favourite in the game the first time I played it, but replaying it, it was not really interesting anymore. His story is all about him developing drugs for Toono because of his deb he made so he could study to become a doctor, but if you know already about this part there is nothing else to really investigate. His backstory with his mother is ok, he feels guilty for stuff he done in his route but that’s all there is, when you already know the secret Taku is hiding, there is not much left, that’s why is lacks something if you replay it.

The second thing is his relationship with Towa, before I talk about the problem, I personally have with it I will talk about the things I did like: Taku already was protective of Towa since he was a child, and his feeling developed into more later on, from what Taku said we can assume his feelings turned into “like” after the incident with Asakura. Towa feeling to Taku developed during the time they spent together when they were both locked in the building. Taku was someone he always felt save with, back in his horrible childhood when no one was there for him, only Taku(it was probably the only time he could get away from his crazy mother), and after the fear of losing Taku he noticed he has deeper feelings for him (at this point we can’t say that is romantic love because Towa doesn’t understand this feeling, but Taku is special for him it’s canon don’t attack me). The development part of their feelings was nice and felt pretty realistic. Secondly, I like how they dealt with Taku falling for a guy. Taku said he wasn’t interested in the same gender from the beginning, but he didn’t say stuff like “I’m not gay, I’m straight” or something like that. He just said he is not experienced with it, and he didn’t just go for it after Towa “attacked” him and was still unsure at this point, and only later when he was sure he had romantic felling he went for it, which was quite nice. Now to for the things that I can’t get over and ruin the relationship for me. First, from the true route we learn that Taku has been lying about Towa past the whole time, (telling him his mother was a great woman) so this relationship is already based on a lie. Towa mother was not a great woman like Taku tells, she is the whole reason Towa has suffered his whole life, and while Taku may not know the everything, he knows what Towa went through but still he keeps his mouth close. There is a scene after the confession scene, where Taku wanted to say something (probably about his past) after they talked about his mother, but decides not to even after Towa asked him about it. In the end after he gets released from prison Towa asked him again and he acts like he has no idea what he is talking about and just says something else. And this brings me to the thing that annoys me the most: How Taku deals with Towa’s mental health problems, or to say it simple, he just doesn’t. The first thing I noticed when I replayed it, Taku is acting like he doesn’t know about it, even though he does. Always saying how Towa behaviour (about him drinking, smoking and sleeping with guys) “was always like this” and saying that “your heart is still dead”. Taku you know exactly how horrible his past is how can you say such stuff??? He always tells Towa how he should stop doing it, but he doesn’t think about doing something to prevent it. I know that he is worried about him but the only thing he deals with are Towas wounds. His wounds may heal but his heart doesn’t if you keep putting only bandages on him Taku. He is really bad at dealing with mental problems, his way to get over it is just not to talk about, in the hope it will go away at some point but in Towa’s case it won’t ever go away, it is destroying him slowly from the inside.

He is also overprotective of Towa in a bad way, putting a chip in Towa after getting rid of Asakuras shitty DIY wings and even going as far as TRYING TO KILL Towa and I though Rei will be the yandere after Tonno tells him he won’t let Towa go after both of the get kidnapped by Toono. I understand that he wants to protect Towa and it is indeed dangerous to let Towa do what he wants because he doesn’t care for himself, but Towa need some kind of freedom, he is not stupid. He acts like Towa is his thing and I didn’t like this part. And the last thing, that left me in a uncomfortable feeling is in the very end he says Towa causes to many problem that why you should not leave him alone, but the goal would actually be to heal Towa to a point, where he does not need help anymore but we never get to it here sadly. (and please stop with the housewife Towa look in the end it hurts my eyes)

I also don’t like the age gap of 20 years in the relationship, because I cant deal with the thought of one person dying way before and leaving the other person behind but that’s a me problem.

The first time I was not sure what to think about Taku’s route but after knowing all this stuff and replaying the route, I just can’t like this pairing sorry.

All the things above are only about Taku and Towa’s relationship, I do like Taku as a person and I enjoyed that he is like a father figure toward Towa and like a family for him. It’s really cute that he really cares for Rei too and treats him like a son better than Rei’s trash father ever could like they are a small family.

Rei

From beginning we get to know Rei as Towa’s and Taku’s best friend, who speaks like a woman and acts a little like it, we also learn that he enjoys fighting and participate in deathmatches. His route is about his struggle with the deb his father (who is a piece of trash) has and his own gender. From the second chapter we learn that Rei is a pure soul, he is a good boy that does not see the bad in human. (Compared to Towa who had a bad feeling from the start) and Rei tells us that in his past he was always mistaken for a girl.

The first time playing his route, the whole thing about his gender felt really sudden but after replaying his route, they were some hints that Rei does struggle with it. Like him telling about his past and him asking Towa what is “manly”. Rei doesn’t want his friends to get involved with his problems that’s why he tries to keep his distance, but Towa is someone he can feel at peace with. Rei’s gender struggle comes from the fact that his parents treat him as a girl when he was a child, it really messed him up because he starts thinking that he was a girl, but still got kicked out by his father after telling him he is gay. Rei hated his own gender even going as far as trying to cut off his… in front of Towa. But through his love for fighting, he realized that he wants to be a man, and after talking (and fighting for fun) with Towa he decides he will now live and act as a man.

Not gonna lie, I really like Rei for his feminine side, though I never thought of him as a woman and while it makes me a little sad that he doesn’t want to be like it, I can accept that he wants to be a man, because in the end the “fem Rei” was never real. He was forced into this feminine roll and that was not the real Rei. What I like about his character is that, while he has his love for violence, he is still a innocent and pure soul. He really cares for others and only wants his best for his friends. (He is also the person, who is looking for true love and doesn’t sleep with others for fun) Even though his father is a big shit he still wants to help his father so he doesn’t start working with child trafficking again. He knows Towa since middle school and was always interested in him, but romantically only after the whole thing with Mizuno, when Towa protected him.

What I really didn’t like the first time I played it is that, while you can really feel that Rei likes Towa, Towa doesn’t share the same strong attraction. It felt more like Towa just agreed to this relationship in the end, but replaying it, I noticed that Towa does care for him in his own way, the first time it’s difficult to say because you don’t understand Towa’s personality. Towa always agrees do help Rei if he asked him for something and he worries about him. The relationship of all the pairings starts at the end of the game so it’s always difficult to say how it works out, but Towa did have a pleasant feeling after Rei’s confession and after they slept together. I want to see more development on Towa’s side because compared to his feeling for Taku in his route it felt weaker with Rei (for me), hopefully they explore it in the drama cd.

While Rei does say some things like Taku to Towa (that I didn’t like) I can’t blame him for it because he doesn’t know Towa’s past.

Regarding Rei’s personality, I hope they don’t change to much about him, because it would be stupid to make a character and then change him after everyone already start liking him like the way he was. They changed his way of speaking (what you probably won’t notice if you don’t understand Japanese) which if fine, doesn’t bother me but if he will start saying stuff like “I can’t eat cake anymore because only woman do” …. Yeah please no. and he cut his beautiful long hair short noooo and it looks so bad please change it We have to wait and see how Rei’s change will affect him in the end, and I want to see how their relationship will develops especially on Towa’s side

Madarame

I wanted to replay everything, just to make sure I didn’t forget anything, but with Madarame’s route I just had to give um in the middle. The first time I played it I went through it without problems because I was expecting something from it, sadly it never happened, but this time it was just like playing a never-ending bad end, and I just felt so sad that I had to stop playing. And now I can confidently say, I hate everything about this route. And I did give this route a chance because I don’t like to go into a game thinking I won’t like character, I try my best to understand the story and characters, but it was no use here. I just don’t understand why such a route was needed to for a character like Towa. Knowing how much Towa was abused in the past and that he suffers from extreme mental trauma because of this makes everything worse, this route really brings out the worst of Towa’s mental health issues.

Starting from the beginning we learn that Towa and Madarame used to hang out together and Towa did feel good hanging out with him (they were not in a relationship and there were no romantic feelings which is confirmed). Towa tells us that this was in the past and that he is not this person anymore, also he tells us that he doesn’t like following orders and doesn’t like treatment from Madarame, that’s why dealing with him is hard and after understanding this himself, he wanted to keep his distance. Of course this is not in Madarame’s favour, he want his “pet” all to himself (He even said Towa need an “owner”).So he kidnaps him and tries to break Towa, to let him remember how he used to be. For this he uses violence and treats Towa like shit. We know that he knows about Towa’s abuse in his childhood and still he uses the same horrible methods as Towa’s mother did, taking away his freedom and chaining him to a place, keeping him in silence which he hates. Raping him (of course Towa let it happen because he is used to it) and slowly breaking his mind so Towa starts thinking he needs Madarame. When Towa says something against him, he got angry or just straight up beats him. Towa has no freedom in this “relationship” it only goes the way Mada want it. There is no communication it’s just a typical “alpha male” top and controlled bottom dynamic between them. It was so sad seeing how Towa went against his friends after he spent some time under Madarame’s influence.

In the beginning Towa is so desperate that he would rather die than to be with Madarame, and I don’t know why we have to think this is “romantic” or some shit like that? Its funny how they tried to include them acting like a couple in the second half of the route. Like Madarame said Towa doesn’t need a collar anymore, sure because he is now manipulated into thinking he need Madarame. I will never forgive him for the emotional and physical abuse he let Towa go through in the beginning.

Madarame himself just feels like he is not even human, this guy has no feeling and his feeling for Towa are like a feeling you have for your pet (or better to say animal? Because you would treat your pet better) and he treats him like a pet. (I’m really not a fan of the whole “your mine” “you belong to me” thinking, human are not objects, just because you decide to be with someone doesn’t mean you are their property) I understand they wanted to go for the “he lives in the present not the past and he is honest and doesn’t lie” thing but it made him feel like he has no feeling at all. Showing that he likes cats made no sense to me, because what’s the point if he treats a cat better than Towa? Did they try to make him look like he has a loveable side? Because it sure didn’t feel like it for me. Trying to make abuse ok by showing that this guy likes animals in that case it’s totally ok …yeah sure not.

He really did everything to manipulate Towa into thinking that he needs to be on “this side”, the side that always abused him, by slowly breaking Towa. Towa himself has no understanding for right or wrong, he just does what he thinks is right for him in this moment, that’s how his brain works.

Madarame says he and Towa are the same because both want violence, but I can only disagree, they couldn’t be any different Towa’s love for violence is a reflection of his abuse as a child, something that was done to him and he now thinks he needs, it’s something he does to try to cope with his trauma, his love for it is not real. While Mada on the other hand, likes it because who knows why it’s not like we ever get to learn anything about this guy because he never says anything. This guy wants nothing and is not interested in anything, I don’t get what I’m supposed to like here. The route ends with Towa and Madarame running away, leaving Towa life, his home and his friends that tried to protect him, to live their life on the streets fighting and enjoying violence, and for me this is the opposite of a good end, it’s just hurt knowing Towa is forever stuck in the circle of violence. (and blond hair really looks bad on him)

I played a lot of bl games and there is always abuse, rape and manipulation involved in almost every bl game, but this has to be the worst case of abuse I ever had to go through and this is coming from a person who likes Mink.

I may said a lot of negative stuff about Taku, but compared to Mada, Taku is an angel send from heaven Funny because Madarame says Taku is trash. The theme was to throw your past away and living in the present, but it felt more like let’s embrace the mental illness and violence.

(the only thing worth going through this hell one time is seeing Mayu, Kotarou and Towa in a suit, especially Towa looks very hot, boi)

The route had an interesting start, and they had a good backstory to write something good with all the stuff with Kaga and so one, but they did absolutely nothing with it and chose to make it about abuse, rape and manipulation, the easy way to force a “romance”(because there is no) into it, and in the year 2021 I expect just something better from it, consider how well the rest of the game is written. N+C really had to bring this rape abuse combination back, didn’t they? They got rid of some bl clichés and I’m thankful for it but we are only half through it, they still need time.

The route just felt extremely disappointing and made me feel horrible.

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