#(especially considering she considered herself incapable of caring at all)

[lilyware]

i've sooooo been bouncing the idea of ghilanna being asexual even before she became my bg3 character (she was a dnd character I made for a oneshot but kept around) and i'm kinda loving the idea of an asexual tav romancing astarion... she's also a cleric of kelemvor so I imagine he's extra desperate to seduce her and get her on his side to ensure he doesn't literally get smited, so finding out she has no interest in sex is... lol. lmao even. love the idea

[creedslove]

BETRAYED - PART FIVE

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: Pedro invites you to be his plus one for the night but his attention is caught by another woman and leaves you with a broken heart

Warnings: angst, age gap, established friendship, unrequited love/one sided feelings, fluff, glimpse of Pedro being a great (silly) dad, and more angst of course

A/N: I really don't know what you guys will think of this part. It is longer than the others and for those who don't want Pedro to be forgiven, you can consider this the ideal end, though this is NOT the last chapter. I still have some ideas for this story but their development will go according to what you guys want, especially because due to all the feedback I've received over the last week (yes today marks one week I posted the first chapter) things are pretty divided between who wants a happy ending and who wants a sad one, lol!

A/N Part 2: I still can't manually tag people on the works because I use the app and it won't let me do it, that's why I don't have a tag list at all!

3.2k words

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

Your heart clenched the moment you heard Kate's words. Pedro was there. After months pretending not to know each other, after not seeing him nor listening to his voice, months after the horrible argument you two had, where you both said horrible things to each other, words that hurt you two deeply, but also needed to be said. So you two could break free from what was holding you back. You and your mindless passion for Pedro, and him and his incapability of letting you go.

You realized you went silent for several seconds and Kate was staring at you with a worried look on her face, so you gave her a nervous smile and nodded "there's no problem, really. We are not making a scene or anything, I mean, we didn't have that much of a fight, it wasn't that serious"

"Yes, it was, Y/N" Kate said in a low voice "you completely fell out with each other, you have never been apart from long and honestly, he seems the saddest I've ever seen, and you don't seem like you're in a picnic either" she placed her hand on your shoulder reassuringly and looked down, excusing herself as she needed to attend the other guests.

You didn't like to be read like that, yes, you missed Pedro, in many ways you were still broken hearted at everything that went on, it's very hard to just let go of a person you were so invested in for years. It leaves an empty spot in your chest, even when you get over whatever happened, your mind always comes back to a bunch of might-have-beens. And though you and Pedro hadn't been away for that long, that's exactly how it felt. You walked out the kitchen and realized you were getting anxious to see him. He was there, it was a stated fact. It wasn't like when you went to the gym and very often looked over your shoulders, in hopes he wouldn't show up at the same time you kind of hoped he would show up. Internally battling with the relief of not running into him and also the disappointment of not seeing him. Once again, you had to remind yourself to act rationally, you didn't want to be shaken to the core when you saw him, and you definitely wouldn't make a scene at a princess' party.

When you reached the living room, he was the first one you spotted and for a few seconds he was the only thing you could see. There he was, Pedro, your dulce Pedrito like you used to call him and make a soft reddish color spread through his cheeks. He looked the same as always, the same as always made your heart race and you hated that. Your heart beat faster, your palms suddenly got a little sweaty and you were sure you'd stutter if someone asked you any question. You cursed yourself under your breath, months of self care and you still acted like a high school girl around him. The sadness Kate had seen your ass, you mentally rolled your eyes as you saw how he was still the life of the party, how he laughed and made everybody laugh. He wasn't sad, and why should he? Maybe you did hurt him in your argument, in fact you did hurt him as he left with tears in his eyes, but he probably got over you, he had done it so many times before, times where you still were friends and you loved and cared for him, so now what was stopping him from just forgetting about you?

Pedro finally eyed you, he knew you were coming and he tried his best to look good for you, he had a nice outfit on, his hair was messy like you always said you loved and God, he felt like time had stopped when he saw you walk into the living room. Hermosa, princesa, linda, mariposa, all of that crossed his mind once he saw you. He hadn't seen you in what it felt like forever, and now you were there, standing a few feet away from him. His desire was to rush to you, ignoring everyone else there, and wrapping his arms around your waist. If he could, he would let out all those Spanish words you loved roll out of his tongue before he could touch your skin and make you his. He chuckled to himself just to picture what you would say if you knew his heart raced when he saw you, how he wanted to take you into his arms like you had dreamed about it for so long. Life sometimes is truly a joke.

He didn't understand how you managed to become more beautiful since the last time you saw each other but you did it, and he couldn't take his eyes off you. He had no idea if you'd even want to talk to him, give him some of your time, but he was going to try.

Before you could greet everyone who was sitting closer than him, Flora and her big brother came running to you. If someone thought Flora was sweet, they hadn't met her brother yet. Wyatt was a five year old who seemed to be obsessed with you. Out of all his mommy's friends you were definitely his favorite. He was sweet to you like he was with no one else, and the fact he still had some trouble pronouncing his 'R' made him even cuter to you.

He immediately jumped onto your lap, snuggling you as tight as he could, he was overly excited at the sweets he'd eaten and the fact some people who brought his little sister presents also brought him presents!

Pedro's heart dropped to his stomach the moment he saw you surrounded by Flora and Wyatt. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to watch that, but he couldn't look away either. It all brought him back to the dreams he constantly had about you, the dreams where he always got to a happy, crowded home, where you were his and only his, in all the ways you dreamed of for long and now he longed for it as well and you two had built a beautiful family. He was always happy in these dreams, only to feel empty when he woke up.

One of the things he always loved about you and that one he made pretty clear throughout your entire friendship, was how good with kids you were. Of course Pedro had earned the cool uncle status, but he just admired how natural you were, how kids simply wanted you to be around them and how happy you got with that. It quickly drove him back to the night of your argument, and how you threw it on his face he was nearly 50 without a family. Yes, he knew you were right, but it still hurt him anyway. When he was younger, he wasn't sure if he was going for the traditional stuff but he assumed good old marriage and kids would happen to him, after all it happened to everyone. But as the years went by, he just focused on his career and he was pretty happy that way, apart from all the loneliness he felt, loneliness that was soothed by your company during the day and some other female company at night, sometimes even more than one at the same time. Until those stupid dreams began, every single night he would have a family with you and love every single part of it just to be taken back to reality where he was alone and all he got was his career.

"Did you really think I'd forget about you?" You whispered to Wyatt as you very discreetly handed him a small basket with his favorite chocolate. You didn't have enough for all the kids, so you hoped he wouldn't make a big fuss about it, but the moment he squealed in happiness and hugged you, you felt so lucky to be there. You quickly helped him open his present and watched as he ate one piece after the other. Kate would probably kill you the next day, but you didn't care at all, seeing his true happiness.

"Pedwo, come play please!!" He asked the man, waving his hand at him and inviting him to the empty seat next to you. You saw when he smiled at Wyatt and moved closer to you. His cologne was intoxicating and for a moment all you wanted to do was to rest your head on his shoulder and have his arm around your body.

"These are my favorite too, you gotta share" he frowned playfully at Wyatt and looked at you

"Hey Y/N" he said shyly and looked down clearing his throat before looking into her eyes again "you look very beautiful, muy hermosa como siempre" he said and saw the familiar blush spreading through your cheeks adding a cute look to your face. You still reacted the same, maybe you were still his muñequita?

"Hi Pedro" you said softly and smiled politely at him.

"Come on Pedwo do the voice!!! Do it again, fow Y/N to see!!" Wyatt begged excitedly and pointed at his brand new Grogu doll. Once again you felt the urge to roll your eyes mentally, of course that was Pedro's doing and it was so predictable. Cute, but predictable. The little boy however, was mesmerized as once more Pedro sat up and made his Mandalorian voice. You didn't know exactly how it was different from his regular voice, but it was and you couldn't explain. He said whatever Wyatt liked to hear and gently tapped the doll's head, making Grogu cooed and blink his eyes, lifting his little arm gently which caused Wyatt to squeal in happiness again.

You both felt pretty good at that, no matter what happened between you two, you were really good at handling kids together and your chest ached to wonder if the same would apply if you ever had children together.

•••

After singing Happy Birthday and serving the cake, Rob, Kate's husband, asked his kids to go to the backyard. Pedro grinned at the interaction and placed his plate down, taking your hand in his and pulling you "come on Y/N, you'll want to see this" he said happily and you had no other reaction than follow him. The kids were so excited when their daddy asked them to close their little eyes. They peeked all the time, not being able to hold back how eager they wanted to see the surprise. Pedro looked at you and smiled sweetly "I don't mean to brag, but it was my idea, so you're not the only one who is great with kids, you know" he winked at her.

You swallowed and looked down at your hands, fingers entwined and how softly Pedro caressed your hand with his thumb. You immediately let go of his hand and blushed, which wasn't unnoticed by him, who sighed and stared into your eyes "I know you're still hurt about everything that went on and we need to talk, I owe you an apology for what happened and-"

Pedro was cut off by the kids' screams of happiness and pure excitement when their daddy revealed their mysterious present: a bunny. A real life bunny, you stared into Pedro eyes and chuckled "that was your idea, right?" You asked and couldn't help but smile a little "I bet Kate is thrilled" you both burst out laughing and for a moment everything was alright between the two of you again.

He only laughed softly but gently took your hand in his once more, walking towards some trees, away from the fuss the kids were making and once you were both hidden enough from anyone else who might bother you, he finally gathered the courage to speak.

"I screw everything up with you, Y/N. I know I did, in fact I knew it from the moment it happened but I was too proud and stubborn to admit it" he sighed "and then it all got worse and worse until that horrible episode at your place. I deeply regret everything that went on" Pedro looked down, and then back at you again, being puzzled by how indecipherable your expression was. You watched him apologize without really apologizing, you just hated how he asked for your forgiveness without acknowledging anything at all.

"The reason why I didn't want to talk to you anymore was because I'm tired of being your doormat, Pedro. You know how much I love you" you bit your lips "how much I loved you" you corrected yourself and continued "but you only took advantage of it, and you know it. You know how many times you've hurt me, how many times you flirted with me, you kissed me almost on the lips, you sweet talked to me, the times you had your hands on my body not in an erotic way but definitely more intimate than a friend should ever do, you know how confused it left me, and you kept doing it"

Pedro knew it was all true, but he had decided to ask for your forgiveness and to be honest, he looked around embarrassed and nodded

"I-I know that, Y/N. I know I was a real shitty friend, always teasing you, playing with your feelings… I am really ashamed of it and if I could turn back in time, I'd never act that way. I had only one glimpse of what you must've felt all this time… when I saw you with that guy from the gym and it felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces"

You had to admit you were not expecting that, at first you thought it would be just some more of his usual bullshit, but it seemed Pedro really meant what he was telling you.

"And I know the last straw was that night at the gala. It should've been about us, after all, you were my plus one because I wanted to have you there, and I loved every minute we spent together, you looked gorgeous, muy hermosa mi cariño, but then I was just terrible to you. I don't know why I left with that woman, I mean, I don't know why I just gave in to that impulse and I know I tried brushing off as if you were exaggerating but these past months I was finally able to be true to myself and admit you were right. I was a dick, I not only humiliated you and broke your heart but also put you at risk by letting you go home on your way"

His voice had a sad tone and he didn't look away for a split second, showing he meant all that.

You began tearing up, as those were the words you waited months to hear. You wanted him to apologize, to admit what he'd done and now it had finally happened, you couldn't help but feel sad as it came too late.

"Pedro, I-"

"Please, Y/N, let me finish" he asked and took another breath "that day at your house was completely unacceptable, I know it, and we both hurt each other, I snapped because I saw you with another man and told you to leave me alone, and I didn't understand why I had such a childish and reckless attitude, until I realized I didn't know how to act on my feelings for you, which takes me to the very painful words you told me, which unfortunately, were also true. I left that night hating myself, I didn't know what to do or what to say, so I looked for help, I went back to therapy and I was able to see all the things I was doing wrong"

You saw when he took a step closer and you could smell his cologne, you had no idea what he was going to do, but your heart pounded into your chest as his big hands cupped your cheeks so gently, stroking them and staring into your eyes "and after all that self-analysis I came to the conclusion that I love you" he bit his lips and a light blush spread through your cheeks "I mean, I already did, as a friend, even if I was a dick, I truly loved and cared about you, but it changed, Y/N, it got more intense, you're the only thing that crosses my mind the whole day, the only one I want and crave, all I can think of is your body against mine, your beautiful voice singing while you make breakfast, the way you light up a room when you step inside, how the kids love you because they see how incredible you are" Pedro took another deep breath "I'm in love with you, Y/N" he finally admitted out loud and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He leaned in and touched your lips with his very softly at first, ghosting over them, appreciating how perfect they felt against each other. One of his hands went for your waist, wrapping his arm around it and gripping your body in a desperate need. He was so close you could feel his strong chest against your soft breasts, so pressed up against his body it was really hard to remind yourself that wasn't right. The moment you felt the man deepening the kiss, you couldn't hold back a soft moan. You decided to enjoy that moment, something you'd craved for so long, it almost felt like your heart was bursting out of your chest. Your hands gripped his hair, pulling it softly as you kissed him back as eager as he kissed you. You felt like you could be trapped in that moment forever with him, it felt right, even if it was wrong.

When Pedro broke the kiss looking for some air, you still gave him a last peck on the lips, gently stroking his cheek and taking a step back.

"Wow" you whispered and smiled shyly "I've dreamed about that moment for so long. God knows how much I daydreamed that one day this exact scene would happen, now it did, it feels unreal" you looked at him and took his hand, gently squeezing it "and that's why it breaks my heart to see it happened too late. I'm sorry Pedro, but we can't do this. I'm really sorry that I don't believe you, I don't think you love me, I think you love the fact I was in love with you and that stroke your ego like nothing else, I was young, devoted, I would do anything for you and would take anything you had to offer, but we can't do this anymore. I can't do this to myself, I love myself more than I love you now, and I won't let anyone get in the way of that, not even you" she said and let go of his hand "I'll always love you and cherish you Pedro, but it's time to say goodbye"

_____

A/N: any feedbacks, let me know! Also, you guys have just met Wyatt! He is pretty much my OC and for the years I wrote for/roleplayed Victor Creed/Liev Schreiber he was always my character's son, and I developed an emotional connection with him even if he is not real, so I thought to myself, why not show the world what a ray of sunshine my fictional son is, right?

And yes, the bunny thing I got from Narcos because I thought Pablo Escobar had no right to be that cute while gifting his daughter a bunny, the way she got happy when he gave her su conejito just made me go all aww 🥰

[alexawynters]

Scarlet Whispers pt 6

Gif not mine

A/N: I edited this while stoned. Probably not my best idea. Also this feels so filler. Should I upload chapter 7 as well??

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader

Trigger warnings (let me know if I forgot to tag anything): Mentions of past child abuse, stalking, horror, dubcon, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, angst, smut. There will be bits of fluff tho.

Rating: M. Minors DNI

Masterlist with parts 1-5 here

Chapter Six

The next morning, you found yourself unusually attached to Wanda, refusing to let her out of your sight. You had always disliked the idea of being clingy with the few friends you had, but with your mind in disarray from the events of the previous night, she was the only bastion of comfort you knew. Playing your games only reminded you of your suspicions, and the fact that you could only watch hard copies of anything had the same effect. Instead, you longed for the witch to hold you, alleviating your treacherous thoughts. Unfortunately, you couldn't express this to her without giving away what you had discovered, so instead you clung to her side whenever possible.

Not that Wanda minded, of course. If anything, she was wondering why she hadn't thought to arrange a little home invasion or something to draw you into her arms sooner. But better late than never, right? The witch cooed and fawned over you in her native Sokovian every time you pulled her back to you when she started to get up or go to her garden. Part of you wanted to ask her for a translation - she always called you some nickname or another - but you never had any idea. Another part just savored the way her language rolled off her tongue. You began to consider that you didn't need to know exactly; you could grasp the gist of it well enough.

Wanda, on her part, began sharing more of her work with you. She didn't reveal everything, of course, but she would show you snippets, especially since you were so intent on being by her side. She wanted to make you more familiar with what she was doing. The witch would demonstrate how she observed the multiverse using one-way portals she would conjure, to ensure your protection from external dangers. Naturally, Wanda made sure to only show you versions of the Avengers who would actually be a threat to you, who were truly evil in their universe. She hoped this would sway you further to her side, seeing the atrocities they would commit, the powers they wielded.

For sure this made you fearful of the Avengers. However, you never forgot what Wanda initially told you about her origins, her experiences with her versions of the Avengers, and your own involvement. The current situation didn't align with what Wanda had previously shared, sowing doubt to further creep into your heart and mind. These individuals were supposed to be heroes, just like Wanda once was. So why were they now posing a threat to you specifically?

That's what you couldn't understand. All Wanda seemed to care about was keeping you by her side, keeping you safe. But why would the "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" have any interest in you? You weren't a villain. Incapable of harming even a fly, you had never harmed anyone in your life, despite times when you should have defended yourself. So if they didn't want you, then who did they want?

Your gaze turned from the portal Wanda was observing to the witch herself. Could they want Wanda? You had witnessed what she had done in Westview, but she had done the right thing in the end. Surely that counted for something, not just in terms of morality but also with these so-called-heroes. Wanda wasn’t a villain.. Was she?

As you looked at her focused figure, you reflected on all the ways she had supported you. Openly confessing to journeying through multiple universes just to locate you; she rescued you from an abusive family, shielded you from the monotonous 9-to-5 existence, and brought you to your new home. Throughout your time together, Wanda had consistently shown nothing but care and affection, fulfilling your every desire. If Wanda was considered a "villain," did that moniker truly matter to you?

Captivating green eyes, flecked with bits of gold, sparkled with intensity as they met yours. In that moment, you made a firm decision: you didn't care if she was a villain. Perhaps you wished she had been more honest about her intentions and actions, but as far as you knew, she hadn't done anything truly villainous. If her "crime" was saving you, she shouldn't be punished for it.

"What is it, lyubov moya?" she asked, amused, having caught you in the middle of your intense gaze. Wanda wasn't sure exactly what you were thinking without reading your mind, but the way you looked at her, as if you had appraised her and found her to be the perfect answer to all you were seeking, made her feel weightless. Warmth bloomed in her chest as she gazed fondly at you.

Caught in your staring, you blushed and shook your head in denial, trying to hide any thoughts you may have had. Instead of responding, you leaned your head on her shoulder and wrapped your arms around her closest arm, indicating to her to continue her work.

Wanda smiled at you briefly before returning to her task. She didn't want to spend too much time observing the multiverse, as she had already set up multiple wards and alerts in case anything significant happened. It seemed that you wanted to cuddle, and she saw no reason to decline. Finished with her goal, arm in arm, Wanda led you to the living room and turned on the TV to watch the Dick Van Dyke show, knowing you enjoyed it almost as much as she did, despite its age. Contentedly, you nestled into her embrace, inhaling the faint scent of vanilla, and settled in comfortably.

Although you had decided to accept Wanda for who she was, you couldn't completely shake the persistent doubts in your mind. Those doubts crept into your dreams, turning them into nightmares.

Unlike most of your dreams, and even nightmares, these were fragmented. They appeared as flashes, resembling memories almost. In some of these fragments, a woman dressed in black and red was chasing after a man in a cape, and a teenage girl, as they hurried through what seemed like a monastery. The same woman in red effortlessly utilized puddles and mirrors to traverse through the monastery, pulling people back through. Although her face remained unseen, the outfit seemed familiar; a feeling of dread and unease overwhelming you whenever you came close to catching a glimpse. 

Unable to do anything, you were a helpless bystander to what was surely a slaughter. You hoped that this woman was just letting these people go, simply getting them out of the way. In your heart somehow you knew that was likely not the case. Suddenly, you had a close-up view from directly behind the woman, as she pulled another unsuspecting victim through a puddle, swiftly snapping his neck.

You woke up to the sound of screaming, and it wasn't until Wanda held you in her arms, turned you to face her, shushing you gently, that you realized the scream was yours.

It took Wanda longer than usual, but eventually she was able to calm you down and get you to go back to sleep next to her. However, you were uncharacteristically stiff and silent, a stark contrast to the affectionate person you had been earlier. Wanda was tempted to read your mind, but she had been making a conscious effort to refrain from doing so. She wanted the connection between you both to be genuine, and invading your privacy by reading your thoughts would not contribute to that. If it were anyone else, she wouldn't hesitate, but you were the one person whose privacy she respected and didn't want to intrude upon if there was any other way.

Night terrors were common for you, which was expected given your level of trauma, and how often you had them in Wanda’s presence. This one felt different to her. You had never recoiled from her touch before, even in the beginning when she first brought you to Wundagore. Wanda's touch had always been a source of comfort, capable of dispelling your fears. So why were you suddenly so tense in her embrace, as if you wished to be anywhere else?

Her heart clenched with fear and hurt that you weren’t comfortable sharing what had upset you. However, she knew that pressuring you would only make you shut down. Instead, the witch took a deep breath through her nose promising herself to be patient. It was incredibly vexing that she always seemed to make one step forward with you, and then two steps back. Wanda believed that you would eventually come to her, if given enough time. She hoped at least.  If Wanda couldn't trust you, then who could she trust? She couldn't bear to entertain that train of thought. 

Gentle rays of sunlight streamed through the curtains into your shared bedroom, rousing you from your restless sleep. The bed felt cold, and the delightful aroma of pancakes filled the air, wafting in from the kitchen down the hall. You concluded that Wanda must be preparing breakfast. Yawning, you got out of bed and padded your way towards the witch and the enticing aromas that made your stomach growl.

An adorable sight greeted you, causing your heart to flutter pleasantly in your chest. Wanda, clad in her favorite blue plaid robe, black pajama top, and dark grey sweatpants, dancing around the kitchen as she cooked for you both, listening to some 90’s pop. What a dork, you thought, affectionately. 

As if sensing your presence, the witch spun around. “Good morning, detka! Breakfast will be ready in just a sec!”

Your lips quirked upwards in a grin. How could this woman be so perfect, you wondered?

“No rush. Is there anything I can help with?”

Viridescent eyes twinkled with appreciation. Her girl always had such good manners, so sweet, so helpful. “No, dorogoya, I have it covered. Sweet of you to offer though.” Wanda walked around with your pancakes and set them on a plate in front of you, before placing a quick, but gentle kiss to the top of your head.

On contact, your body froze. A furtive glance cast in the witch’s direction but Wanda had already turned her back to you, completely unaware. You didn't understand what had just happened, but when the former avenger had entered your personal space, you felt an unexpected and almost overwhelming urge to run. Even now you were actively resisting it, trying to stay seated. It would look weird if you suddenly fled from the room, and you weren’t sure how to explain to Wanda when she inevitably would ask you why.

 Taking a few moments to breathe through your nose, you swallowed nervously and willed yourself to remain in place. What the fuck? What was wrong with you? This was Wanda, not some stranger out to get you. Gods, how traumatized were you anyway?

Before the witch could notice your discomfort, you quickly devour the breakfast she had prepared for you. With a disarming grin, you tried to regain a sense of normalcy by complimenting the chef. Wanda responded with a brilliant smile and plated her own breakfast before sitting down in the chair next to you. A soft, cool hand gently brushed across your lower back as she passed by.

This time, you shivered pleasantly, grateful that your body had recognized the familiarity that was Wanda, and she posed no threat to you. The anxiety that had been coursing through your veins just moments before began to fade. In an attempt to regain that sense of safety that the witch typically provided, you moved your chair closer to Wanda, earning yourself an affectionate look from the older woman.

Your behavior was a significant departure from the stiff and silent demeanor you had the night before, and Wanda was relieved that you weren't still pushing her away. If you had continued to distance yourself, she had resolved to read your mind without your permission to understand what was troubling you. Understanding that you had trust issues, and some uncertainty was to be anticipated, but Wanda was growing weary of every bit of progress being quickly overshadowed by your own lack of confidence. The witch contemplated how to better help you grow more than she already had been.

Conversation between the two of you flowed easily once again. Wanda had promised herself to be patient with you, although personally she knew patience wasn't her strong suit. For you though, she would try. A breakthrough in your relationship felt imminent. Maybe all you needed was a gentle nudge. Perhaps time for Wanda to stop allowing you to doubt her intentions and take a more direct approach with you. As ideas began forming in her mind, she had to muster her facial expression so as not to inadvertently reveal her plans for you, and how excited she was to surprise you.

A/N 2: ehhh... how are we feeling about where this is going? Again, edited when stoned so sorry if its... rambly.. Rambles? Words are hard.

Again thanks as always to @flowers-shouldnt-die as well as my friend Brooke for beta-ing these for me. You guys are so helpful and the best cheerleaders and I appreciate y'all.

Taglist: @dorabledewdroop

[chaoticbardlady99]

Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me (Spawn Astarion x F! Ghost Reader)

Chapter Five: Nisi Pellis Nostra (SOS)

Synopsis: The Lich reveals his fate for you and your 'higher purpose' after a series of experiments that leave you feeling hopeless. The Spawn Monster tries to reassure you that everything is going to be okay.

CW: Mentions of gore, mentions of non consensual surgical-esque procedures on Ghosts, basically I've been watching a lot of Criminal Minds lately, being changed against a character's will.

Disclaimer- put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. Birdie's 'image' is a stock image. I will not describe the readers body in detail- she is just merely on the banner for ✨drama✨. I believe the picture of Astarion is from @cheekylittlepupp . And then the symbol of Orcus in the back is a free image off the internet.

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you for all your support and love!

Chapter 4 : Chapter 6: AO3

You know you have only been in the liche’s ‘care’ for a little over 24 hours now, but it feels like you have spent forever and a day down here already. 

 Yesterday he had performed multiple experiments on you by seeing how your body responds to various types of magic. You are extremely sore

  It’s just you, Leon’s desecrated body, and the Spawn Monster. You’ve had a few exchanges with the creature as it tries to tempt you into conversing with it. 

 You want to, but it’s too confusing and makes you feel sick. 

  Aurelia had been Cazador’s first spawn and she had fought so hard to keep him from being angry with her while Astarion turned towards malicious compliance. 

  After Aurelia came Astarion and then Dalyria. Dalyria has always fascinated you with her brilliance and pension for medicine as well as modern tactics. She did not believe in the Gods nor that they would save her so she was determined to save herself.

 Violet and Yousen became spawn within days of each other and fought like cats and dogs- neither one of them willing to be the Scratch of the duo and keep the peace. You did enjoy their pranks on each other (when they weren’t ridiculously cruel). 

 Petras had been maybe two, three decades before Leon- who only became a part of the coven a decade ago. Petras' dullness had driven Cazador, Astarion, and frankly, everyone mad. You have never met someone so dense in your entire existence, but at the end of the day, he was always good. He tried to keep his intentions as pure as possible and despite Astarion’s disdain for him, Petras did adore him and considered him his brother. He had been the hardest one to crack regarding Astarion’s location in Baldur’s Gate that day so many months ago. 

 “What does dick cheese mean?”

 It’s a fair question that not even you can really answer- to be frank, you had kind of panicked when Leon had turned on you with his hackles raised. You just threw out some words to break up some of the anger.

 You want to look over at the other siblings- you are desperate to be able to look over and see them all separated- somewhere far away and happy. 

 Somewhere safe where Leon’s grief could never- would never- touch them. 

 “I honestly don’t know,” you whisper, “I was just throwing out words.”

 “It was clever,” the Spawn monster says, “it made me think of a STI. 

“Which Leon has been for a while.”

  You snort and look over, only to look away again. Your heart is truly broken for them. You will never complain about being stuck as a Ghost again- you are very very lucky.

  Astarion will be devastated, despite what he would lead others to believe, he does actually care about the individuals he suffered alongside with in Szarr Palace. He will be especially upset to see Dalyria, the one he does consider a sister through and through, is gone. He will even grieve Petras who he pretends he is incapable of tolerating. 

  You shake your head- yes, he will grieve, but you will make sure he doesn’t fall to his knees and let life guillotine his heart. The survivors' guilt will not win- you will make sure of that- and if there is a way to save the Spawn, they will find it. 

 “Is it that bad?”

  The sadness in their voice is still recognizable through the heavy slurred speech. You nod numbly. There is no point in lying. 

 “I’m sorry.”

 “Whatever for!?”

  This time you do look over and face your fears- looking her in her eyes (well Aurelia and Violet’s eyes). It’s odd how you can see how the five distinct personalities are still there all from a look or a change of posture. 

 A sudden burst of pain causes the creature to keel over and cry out- the stitches glowing with an angry red color. 

  The monster looks you in the eyes with tears. 

 “We’re a monster,” it says, “we should have stopped Leon the moment Yousen and Aurelia went missing. We suspected, but thought it was too good to be true. Leon couldn’t do this to us.” 

  You shake your head aggressively, trying to will your own tears away. This is not about you- you're not the one who has had your autonomy ripped away time and time again. 

 “You will not apologize to me for something out of your control,” you say softly, “Leon made his own choices. I wish they hadn’t involved any of you.”

 “We know,” it says, “we appreciate it.

“And personally,” this time you know it’s Dalyria, “I am grateful to you for taking care of Astarion. You need to promise you will continue to take care of him.” 

  There is a finality in their voice that causes you to release a choked sob. They don’t plan on ever being saved or fixed. 

 “Birdie, you must do us a favor.”

   “Okay?” 

 “You have to destroy us.”

 “What!?” You hissed in surprise, “no!” 

 “Please,” it begs, pleads, a tear going down Dalyria’s face, “it hurts- he will continue to refurbish us like he has been doing. The remainder of our bodies- they have been scattered around. We will never be able to rest while he continues to resurrect pieces of us at a time. 

“Last time, Petras was doing all of the talking until he became annoyed with Petras. That’s why his lips are stitched shut with silver- any talking will make his pain worse.

“Don’t leave us here to suffer.” 

 “But what makes you so sure I’ll be out of here anyhow? Maybe we can find a way to save yo-“

 “No,” it says, “there is no way to undo what has been done. 

“We can still feel his emotions to an extent. Half hysterical and racing to get here. Nervous, scared that he has lost you permanently. Cazador is dead, but our own connections are still there- faint, but there.

“Promise us that you will destroy us- every last piece.” 

   You take a shaky breath in- maybe you should also be concerned for your own survivor’s guilt. 

 “Okay,” you whisper, “I promise- if it has to come to that, but don’t give up hope.” 

  The sad smile is unsettling and full of rows of razor sharp teeth- you breathe unevenly and try to calm the galloping in your chest. 

 It may not matter that you know who they are- it’s still terrifying and unsettling to see them this way. 

 Clanging from down the hall- you can hear the Shadar Kai soldiers coming towards you. You wish you could turn invisible and hide, but whatever magic is around your cage is preventing you from being able to cast anything. 

  The lich walks into the room- an unsettling smile across his dead, rotting face. He stares into you as if he can see your entire existence. It’s been one whole day of not being bothered of him- you knew becoming complacent was a bad idea. 

  The Spawn monster protests and slams against the cage- trying to keep the Lich from reaching you, but it’s too late. Your body feels like jelly and you begin to unravel to the floor- your form is absolutely paralyzed. 

 “Leave her alone!”

 “SILENCE!”

   A ripple of red, angry magic goes through their body and the scream that echoes through the room makes you cry and your heartbreak. They just wanted to help you- you will find a way to help them. This will not be the end for any of you- you are determined to save yourself and them. 

 You may not be very big Birdie, you think, but apparently you are pretty strong for whatever reason and you know how to use Bardic Magic to an extent. You know how to use Vicious Mockery and you have a decent amount of cantrips like Firebolt and shocking grasp. You just need to break whatever hold he has on your body. You can do this Birdie- you badass bitch!

 You continue to hype yourself up in your head as they carry you off down the hallway by your limp limbs- at least it doesn’t hurt. 

  You focus with everything you have in your body and begin to chip away at the grasp the liche has on your body.

 “How very fascinating,” the lich muses as you are laid down on a stone slab, “you are rather strong and you think rather quickly on your feet for someone who died so young. I wonder what secrets I will find inside you…”

  Gods no. This isn’t happening to you- the knife begins to cut into your abdomen like your skin is butter and it’s horribly painful- the blade coated in silver and silver itself. Even if you do regenerate (hypothetically you should) it’s going to hurt and take a lot longer than you would have hoped to heal.

 You can feel the lich enforce his will on you and you are forced to lay there quietly- entirely unable to move and no matter how much you try to fight against his grasp- it doesn’t happen.

  He pulls out each of your organs- inspecting them and it hurts. You can feel him put your heart in other, dead bodies- seeing if the body will come to life. It does- momentarily, but then you begin to choke and the body dies and your heart is returned to you.

 You have never been touched before by anyone and now? Now you just feel violated. You stopped keeping track of what he was pulling out, putting in and out of other bodies before putting back in your own, and even scooping out ectoplasm surrounding your organs. It all feels unnatural and painful- you zone out.

 You are there for hours- you know because you’ve been counting the seconds in your head- trying to focus on every passing second instead of the grubby, evil fingers tearing you apart and putting it back together. 

  You give up- unable to justify trying to live through this if this is the existence you are doomed to. 

 For once, you don’t want Astarion to come. You don’t want him to see you this way and you hope he’s turned tail and ran away instead of rushing into danger to save her. Your tears begin to fall again- the Lich pulling out one of your eyes, commenting how fascinating it is that you are still able to produce tears without it before putting it back in to mend it back together. 

 You drift off into a land where this had never happened. Maybe a different time period, an alternate universe, where you are playing at a Tavern, a young bard trying to make a name for herself. A beautiful, cocky Magistrate walks up to you with life in his cheeks and blue (or maybe green?) eyes. 

 In this reality, Astarion courts you, adores you, and neither one of you is horribly traumatized to get there. You live a happy life together, you go on adventures, own a home together, and maybe even one day have children together. 

 Your parents would have adored him- you wonder if his would have adored you?

 “Lubanac is going to be most pleased,” the lich hums, “you are going to be the perfect little creature for the Morbid Maze. I know exactly what I am going to turn you into!

“Ah here it is,” the Lich menancingly smiles at you and your own scream of terror reaches your ears, “a Necroplasm! It will take another day since I have more tests to conduct, but you’ll be one of these beautiful creatures soon, my beautiful little Ghosty.” 

  It’s just a blob of ectoplasm and bones. You whimper and begin to shake.

 “Oh no, no, no,” the lich strokes your face, “do not cry little one- you won’t even remember any of this once I change you.

“It will all be over soon,” he coos, “and in the meantime- you are doing an honorable service for our Lord Orcus and his priest, my leader, Lubanac. You will have a higher purpose once again- you will protect the morbid maze and fight alongside Orcus. What a boon- I’m almost jealous.” 

  It’s a fight not to continue crying- not wanting to give the lich more curiosities to poke around with or a reason to turn you earlier-  so you do the only thing you can think of doing. 

 You fall asleep.

                                       ************************************************

  You can feel all of your organs back in the right place within your body, but you feel entirely ruined to your core. 

 Astarion would never want you this way- used and rearranged, ectoplasm happily consumed by a lich who was constantly telling you every ‘fascinating’ detail he finds in your form as he worked. The lich at least gave you a bit more insight into your own condition- technically Donella did succeed in changing you, but she didn’t know how to resurrect you so that’s why you are stronger than a normal Ghost- you harbor some Spawn strength. 

 You went from being a Ghost, a Cat, a Person, and then a Science Project for a Necromancer. How fitting. Next? A necroplasm- unable to be saved or changed back to your original form. 

 “Are you okay?”

   You look numbly in the direction of the Spawn Monster and their eyes look worried for you- your eyes are filled with angry tears, you can barely see them through your vision. 

 “No,” you choke, “I feel violated. I feel….

“I feel unworthy,” you whisper, admitting it outloud, “I feel disgusting.” 

 “We understand,” the spawn monster gives you a smile, “but you are going to get out of here and that will never happen to you again.”

 You just shake your head, crying harder.

 “I don’t know if I care anymore,” you sob, “I don’t want to go through that again- I can’t. He’s going to change me into, into-“

  One of the creatures he showed you slimes by and it eats up the dripping ectoplasm on the ground like a starved dog- bones being stretched apart. The creature looks you in the eyes as if it knows and it lets out a wailing scream. You barely scoot out of the way in time before it’s limbs make it through your cage- a starving look in it’s eyes.”

 “Shhhhh,” Dalyria’s voice soothes you, “you won’t go through it again- you will be okay. He’s coming as fast as he can.” 

   The spawn monster, as horrific as it is, leans up against the part of the cage that is close to yours- offering a hand. You crawl over and reach for it like a child- the creature, the remainder of people you care for, try to soothe you by running their thumb over your hand and keep telling you it’s going to be okay. That you are not allowed to give up any hope. 

  And that Astarion is on his way. 

*******************************************************************

Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)

Tag List: @n3rdybirdee @fandomarchiveilyd @dajeong @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @bitchstarion @hereliesblackdragon @pebble-bb @preciouslittlebhaalbae @lavvyan @beepersteeper

Special thanks to @davenswitcher thank you for helping me brain storm 💜

[aihoshiino]

Hoshino Aqua's Lie of Love: A Character Analysis

All of the interview flashforwards in volume one of OnK are interesting in their own right but out of all of them, Aqua's is particularly so to me. In the context of volume 1, these flashforwards are used to build tension and dread; they tell us how this story will end before we've even realized what path it's taking. Aqua's, by contrast, is more to do with telling us about him as a person... and it might be just a bit more telling than he may have realized or wanted it to be.

Given how much time we spend with this Aqua in the rest of the series, it's funny to remember that this page constitutes something of a reveal within its own immediate context. He's namedropped and mentioned obliquely in most previous interviews, just as Ruby is, but in contrast to Ruby this is the first and only time we see his face.

More importantly, though, is what Aqua is saying here. As his introduction, these two panels serve as the bedrock for our understanding as the series goes on. This is the image Aqua wants to project - a loveless, heartless man who doesn't care for anything but his acting; his revenge. I see a lot of people hold this interview up as proof that this is self evidently true or as proof that Aqua truly is as loveless as he paints himself as.

But... don't these words sound a little bit familiar? Ringing any bells?

They should be, considering we've heard them before.

Ai doesn't quite have a traditional interview segment like the rest of the characters, save her post-mortem video message to the kids, but in the chapter immediately before Aqua's interview we instead see a flashback to Ai at around twelve as she was recruited for B-Komachi. This scene parallels Aqua's declaration, especially when it comes to their shared attitude regarding love.

This assertion isn't simply laid out unchallenged, however. Ai bares her heart a little bit here, even in the process of trying to make it more ugly than it really is and in that moment of vulnerability, Ichigo Saitou identifies the core of this anxiety...

And refutes it.

Ai is a person absolutely overflowing with love. Despite the abnormally cruel and lonely life she's lead, we see her extend kindness and warmth to almost everyone she comes across whether it benefits her or not - everyone, that is, except herself. The abuse and abandonment and the lack of love she has suffered since she was born leads her to believe that she is the one at fault for it - that she carries some inherent ugliness that makes her both incapable and unworthy of love.

It's why, instead of looking for someone to love her, Ai spent her life searching for someone she could give her love to. Ai hates herself too much to ever believe that anyone would love the real her, so the only way she could ever experience real love would be to give it instead of receiving it.

In that sense, she and Aqua are alike. Both of them overflow with love and care for the people closest to them but they remain convinced that they carry some flaw that makes this love untrue. In both cases, these are lies - but while Ai has been taught this deception by the world around her, it's Aqua who tells this lie most fervently to himself.

For all that he insists he won't love anyone, all the actions Aqua takes are fuelled by desperate, self destructive love. Love for his mother, his sister, his friends all warped into rage and retribution - both against the main who took Ai from them and against himself, for failing to save her and the daring to ever imagine being happy in a world where he still carried that sin.

This is the key point of difference between him and his mother. Though she acts on her feelings sincerely and whole-heartedly, her history of trauma and abuse - both personally and at the hands of the entertainment industry - leave her unsure of whether she even has sincere feelings to act on in the first place.

Aqua, by contrast, feels everything so strongly it kills him - he loves so intensely it makes him sick. But he spends his whole life choking his feelings down, trying to throttle them into silence so he can convince himself of that declaration that he won't love, that those who love him won't get anything in return, so when the people who care for him are inevitably hurt by his self destruction, it's their own fault for making the mistake of caring for him in the first place.

Even so, he really can't help himself. When the people he cares about need help, Aqua will drop everything to step in for them. Even at cost to himself and even when it means risking his path to revenge.

That 'first, do no harm' principal is no joke, huh?

The Hoshino family is a trio of mirrors set up to reflect each other ad infinitum. The more you learn about one of them, the more the other two come into greater clarity. Like the stars in their eyes, Aqua and Ruby each represent opposing sides of Ai's heart; her confidence and self hatred, innocence and cynicism and all consuming, overflowing love.

Ai never quite learned how to give any of that love to herself - but maybe if we're lucky, Aqua will. And maybe this time, it won't take a tragedy that nobody can erase.

[amurderof]

So Aziraphale’s “I forgive you” has been living rent-free in my brain, mostly because I can’t pin down why he said it, exactly. I’ve read a few bits of meta on the reasoning behind it (which were all good! No shade here), and I’m still grappling with it, especially within the greater context of the series. So I'm gonna talk it out.

I read a subpar (professional) review of the series in which the author criticized the minisodes because they felt it took them out of the story and added nothing to the modern day plot — which, let’s be serious, is a ridiculous take. Both the story of Job and the Resurrectionists provide a clear insight into how Aziraphale and Crowley see both their duties and how they interact with the world and people (both as part of their duties and also just because… they want to).

Aziraphale doesn’t want Job’s children to die, and he’s horrified at both Heaven’s lackadaisical approach to “allowing” Hell to kill Job’s children and their incapability of understanding that a child can’t simply be replaced by another child. He’s delighted to learn that Crowley isn’t carrying out Hell’s (and Heaven’s) orders, and even goes along with Crowley’s impromptu plan to “return” Job and Sitis’ children to them. He’s clearly uncomfortable lying to Gabriel et al and expects punishment — even Falling. I summarize all of this not because I don’t know y’all watched it, but because it’s insight into how Aziraphale approaches internal conflict. He doesn’t want Job’s children to die. He backs down from his protests when Gabriel et al call him out; but because he knows Crowley has been tasked with carrying it out — Crowley, who he has report with, who he knew before he Fell — he tries to prevent it from happening. He tries to appeal to Crowley’s once angelic nature to prevent the act, while simultaneously knowing that Heaven wants it to happen too. He's tempted by Crowley into following Crowley's lead, into accomplishing what he wanted to happen anyway but wouldn't do on his own. 

Both Crowley and Aziraphale are hypocrites but with different end results: Crowley wants to slip under the radar by sort of following orders, while having as little to do with either side as possible. He’s a hypocrite so he won’t be bothered, even if it’s lonely. Aziraphale wants to follow orders that he agrees with, while wanting to appear holy and obedient in the sight of Heaven. He doesn’t want to be bothered either, but he wants Heaven to think well of him while he’s not being bothered. He cares about being lonely. Aziraphale wants to have his cake and eat it too, and Crowley just doesn’t want to be anywhere near cake.

The story in the Resurrectionists is tragic and fascinating from a character standpoint, because it puts Aziraphale in a position of what he considers moral authority, while ignoring the harsh reality of Elspeth and (wee) Morag’s lives. Elspeth is doing something Aziraphale (and society) considers immoral, and he actively prevents her from profiting from it; it isn’t until he understands the wider scope of how bodysnatching benefits medicine that he reconsiders. Seeing the girls in distress was not enough. He hesitates before saving Morag’s life and she dies. He doesn’t want Elspeth to kill herself, but it’s Crowley that truly intervenes (and is punished for it, unlike with Aziraphale and Job). Crowley doesn't "tempt" Aziraphale into anything, because Aziraphale doesn’t agree with Crowley, and he can only be tempted to do something he wants to. 

Here's the thing: Crowley was given orders to punish Job, which he clearly disagreed with due to the suffering it would cause. He found a way around them, and roped Aziraphale into helping out.

While not given orders, Aziraphale witnessed human suffering and decided it was not enough to warrant committing a victimless crime; and when given the opportunity to do something merciful but that might put him on Heaven’s watchlist, he doesn’t. His concern over his own reputation stops him. It’s Crowley who actively prevents Elspeth from killing herself, just as it’s Crowley who tells Aziraphale to give Elspeth his money.

Aziraphale agrees with Crowley that neither Heaven nor Hell is particularly great, but unlike Crowley with Hell, Aziraphale still wants Heaven to like him. As much as he loathes Heaven’s bureaucracy and obsession with appearance, he’s still tethered to it.

So what does this have to do with his forgiving Crowley after the kiss? Well.

Just like Crowley needed a good old-fashioned talking-to by Nina and Maggie about his ~feelings~, in the time-honored fanfiction tradition of third parties helping out; I don’t think Aziraphale knows he’s in love with Crowley. He knows he loves Crowley, and if pressed I’m sure he would admit that yes, it was different than the love he felt for other things in Creation — but he wouldn’t connect the dots. He wouldn’t want to. What he and Crowley have is perfectly suitable to him, and changing anything would not only rock the boat — but it would require him to have to sort out one of those internal conflicts he finds so distasteful.

The Metatron’s plan is thus perfect: it changes things, but does so in a way that affirms Aziraphale’s own biases. The promotion to supreme archangel would put Aziraphale at the top of the hierarchy. There’s no need to take the hierarchy/bureaucracy out — Aziraphale wouldn’t want that anyway. He cares about his reputation. He's being given the opportunity to be in complete control of it. 

The Metatron also validates his relationship with Crowley, and provides Aziraphale with not only the opportunity to bring Crowley with him, but to "restore" him. In Aziraphale's mind, Crowley's becoming an angel again wouldn't change who Crowley is: but it would connect him to Heaven again. Heaven can be a drag, but it's still good, and this time, Aziraphale will be in charge and he can make sure it's good enough for Crowley, who just asked questions, after all.

(And Crowley wouldn't have to be so lonely. Ignore the fact that Crowley has Aziraphale and that's all he wants.)

And this is where it all comes together.

Not only does Crowley reject his proposal, but he also insists on his perspective -- that they don't need anyone else. They don't need Heaven or Hell. (And this is off topic but I loooove the line that insinuates they basically live in each other's pockets now, as opposed to pre-Armageddon when they met up every once in a while. Love! It!) They're at their best together, and they always have been, and Aziraphale’s falling for Heaven’s bs. They can be like Gabriel and Beelzebub. They don't need anyone else.

But Aziraphale has just been told that he can have his cake and eat it too, for real this time; and to really stretch this analogy too far, he can own the bakery too. He doesn’t want what Crowley is telling him, because he wants what the Metatron has offered. Crowley wants them to be them, free of their constraints; Aziraphale wants to be them, with control over their constraints. 

And then Crowley does what he always does when Aziraphale is being obstinate: he leads him to what they both want. Or, he tries -- the kiss is desperate, messy, awkward. Crowley wants Aziraphale to follow his lead, to succumb to temptation, as it were, how he always does. To know it's okay to do what they want instead of what Heaven expects, just like how it was okay with Job’s children.

Aziraphale knows what Crowley’s doing. He will not be tempted this time. He forgives Crowley for trying. He forgives him for following the steps of their usual dance. This is the Aziraphale of the Resurrectionists, full of moral conviction, not the story of Job.

 (And now here's a fun kicker -- does Aziraphale know Crowley loves him, after the kiss? Or does he assume Crowley had a different intent? Aziraphale is stunned after the kiss. He’s not even sure how to define what he feels for Crowley, and Crowley kissed him? Oofa doofa.)

[tomuras]

| My love, are you the devil? |

Pairing: Dottore x Oc!Cecilia

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Selfship Coded, Manipulation, Dottore mocks Cecilia, Some selfship lore sprinkled in, Toxic Relationship, Hurt/Comfort (if you can even call this comfort), Mention of Medical Tests, Unknown Medical Problems(?), Implied Human Experimentation (if you squint), Power Imbalance, Angst, Abuse, 937 words yoink.

A/n: Hello, today I bring a new oc/selfship lore. Tomorrow? Who knows. I really hope this all makes sense because I put a lot of love and research into this fic. So, uhm yeah enjoy <3

The title of this fic are the lyrics to this song <3

Summary: When Cecilia turns to Dottore for comfort he has no other choice but to accept. After all, it would make for a good bargaining chip.

Tagging: @auphelia @suyacho

His gloved hand ran along her hair, smoothing it down in an effort to comfort her. It seemed to silence Cecilia’s already soft cries. She laid her head in his lap like a sad animal, one that wandered aimlessly waiting for any kind stranger who’d let it in. Thankfully, Dottore had no qualms about taking her into his arms and enjoying the quiet silence with her, even if she was still fragile. Perhaps, he preferred it that way, though. Her body shuddered against his on the couch and her hand clung to the bottom of his lab coat for solace. He was so warm in that moment for someone so unbelievably cold. She was pleasantly surprised by his very calm demeanor regardless of how temporary it might’ve been.

“There, There.” His tone was mocking, but Cecilia didn’t care.

She shifted her body so that she faced him, but still avoided looking at him. He continued petting her hair in a slow and careful manner. It felt nice, too nice. It wasn’t unlike Dottore to have some ulterior motives, but she didn’t want to think about that right now. Truthfully, she wasn’t the most behaved when she had come into his lab, either. Cecilia had stormed into there in a rage, tears burning at the corner of her eyes as she lashed out. Normally this behavior would not have flown with Dottore, resorting to probably an even worse punishment than usual, but I guess he was feeling rather forgiving at that moment. At least that’s what Cecilia said to convince herself that his comfort truly was just that.

Although she should know better than that by now. Especially considering how Dottore had taken her under his wing when many, if not all, had deemed her a lost cause. While others called her ‘worthless’ and other such names, Dottore simply saw Cecilia as another interesting subject. The lengths of her incapabilities baffled The Doctor even after all the years the two of them had spent together. No one was just this fragile, but that was something she proved him wrong on many times. She had no vision yet couldn’t even wield a delusion to save her life. If anything the one time she did use a delusion nearly killed her, if it weren’t for her quick thinking and even quicker instincts she would’ve been long dead by now.

Even with the many inconclusive tests, frustrating negative results, and the many sleepless nights spent researching for something that by all means shouldn’t exist; Dottore had found no reason that a body should be as frail as hers. Still, all his work had ultimately been for nothing, but that didn’t mean he would stop searching for the answer. Of course, while he did promise Cecilia he’d back off from his little obsession with her and her body, he never said for how long he’d do it. Nor was he going to comfort her without a little something in return, a give and take if you will. Although I guess it was alright for now. 

He’d pet her hair, say a nice thing or two, and maybe even wait a few days before he brought up his supposed deal, but he couldn’t help but smirk at the thought of what her expression might turn to as she suddenly realizes what he means by his words. Truthfully Cecilia’s relationship with him had never been one born out of sincerity and generosity. He always did love seeing the look on Cecilia’s face as she realized she was betrayed by him once again. Although, he enjoyed being the one to swoop in and save her from his own dark deeds, as well. Why could he not be both the villain and the hero in her story?  

Suddebnly he was torn from his daydream and his attention was returned back to Cecilia who had sniffled, looking up at him with doe eyes. He aww’d audibly, mocking her again as he scooped her up into his arms, pulling her close to his chest while he continued stroking her hair gently. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held onto him dearly. 

“Oh, my poor little lamb.” Dottore cooed. 

Cecilia hadn’t suspected that a single thing was amiss. You’d have thought being betrayed and used continuously by the same man would ‘ve made her learn her lesson eventually. Fortunately, for Dotttore that was the furthest from the truth, and as he rubbed the pad of his thumb against her wet cheek, he wondered just how she could be so naive. Although, on the other hand.. He didn’t mind at all. He wasn’t the least bit worried. He brushed away a stray piece of her hair. She really was the most fragile creature he’d ever laid eyes on, and he just couldn’t wait to unravel all her secrets. 

[reasoncourt]

if anyone is wondering why i care about taylor swift discourse it’s genuinely just because i think people lose their point in their hate for her. and they lose perspective.

like she’s actually not the most evil woman in the world. she gives her workers insurance (bare minimum) and good bonuses (she’s mega rich so also bare minimum) and she buys carbon credits (bare minimum but also opens an interesting convo - i.e. how much should we value carbon credits?). she doesn’t use her voice enough imo but she also doesn’t speak out of turn (i.e. she doesn’t pretend to be well-versed and authoritative on topics she has no knowledge in (arguably she should educate herself on certain topics but tbh i’m inclined to view it as a positive that she doesn’t introduce global political issues beyond “trump bad” to her crazy af fan base… like she could do more but i also don’t have much faith in her politics cause she’s so so so out of touch so i prefer the silence)).

an important note here is that i do think she’s absolutely fucked for not condemning the genocide of palestinian people (especially when she’s supposedly close friends with the hadids who are outspoken on the issue and would greatly benefit from her public support (obv she shouldn’t just speak out bc it affects her personal friends but the fact that she isn’t speaking out when she has personal friends is honestly bizarre to me)).

but she's not unique for any of this. she does more than most of her peers and also way less than she should. that's all i see.

and yet ultimately it’s like - people side with kanye when he put a naked wax figure of her in his music video without her consent when she was 25. that situation was obviously misogynistic but people hate her so they largely glossed over it and decided she deserved it for "lying"about a phone call she didn't lie about. people also seem to think it’s funny that football bros are making ai porn of her (arguing she “deserves” it) despite that line of thinking obviously being detrimental to all women and especially those who are so much more vulnerable than her. people got angry at her for donating $250,000 to help with kesha’s legal fees in her case against ‘Dr. Luke’ because they considered it a publicity stunt even though taylor swift wasn’t the one to make that donation public. people called her performative for taking a man to court for sexually assaulting her and only asking for $1. and obviously they would’ve criticised her for asking for more.

the thing that really aggravates me is that there is so so so so so much to criticise her for. but it’s so so so so so obvious that a lot of people just hate her and don’t actually have any legit problem with the things they say they have a problem with. their favs could do the exact same thing and they won’t find any issue with it. cause they just really hate taylor swift and won’t step back a bit in order to just critically think about what their principles are and how those principles apply to this situation with taylor swift and whether they’re actually consistent with those principles and will apply them to someone other than taylor swift.

there are such valid points and important discussions i see being completely missed because the complaint is about Taylor swift and people seem to be incapable of thinking beyond the fact that they just, first and foremost, hate her

and let it be said that this is not a taylor swift defence post. i could not give a single shit about her specifically. i do find her music fun and nostalgic but i also think it deserves more criticism than it gets (but that’s not what this post is about). it’s just that she’s one of the most talked about people in pop culture and i feel like legitimate and productive discourse is rlly hindered by people’s disproportionate focus on her

[cummin-n-cryin]

❦~ hello! ~❦

if you don’t mind, would you be accepting of writing about Idia Shroud and Floyd Leech(separately, or you may just choose one if you’d prefer not to do both! i’m not picky!) with a female s/o who’s in Pomefiore? she’s very clean and thinks highly of herself, but is also very kind and is a soft dom who’s slightly scared of sex…she wont admit it though until the last second! i’d just like to see how the shy shut-in and sinuster eel would react to someone like that!

❀- so sorry if that was too specific or too strange- you may do whatever you’d like for this! -❀

~Thank you for your request!

Pomefiore Softy

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

Idia Shroud + Floyd Leech x fem!reader (all separate)

Tw: afab reader, NSFW mentions, I think that's it?

Wordcount: 433 + 370

Side Note: Don't apologize! It's def not strange and honestly I prefer more specific requests! It's easier to write them. I apologize if this isn't good I was struggling a lot with writing but I hope this is at least okay!

~Idia Shroud~

Idia's not surprised that you're from Pomefiore. The way you hold your head up high and with how neat and tidy you are, easily give it away. However, he is surprised that someone from Pomefiore fell in love with him of all people.

Idia would typically distance himself from someone from Pomefiore. Believing them to be like Vil, extroverted and simply incapable of understanding a gamer like him.

Though for some reason you gained an interest in this introverted gamer. He considered you quite annoying at first, comparing you to Cater.

It was only when Ortho became friends with you that Idia started to care about you in any way. Hearing Ortho talk about how nice you were piqued Idia's interest.

Soon enough, that simple interest would grow as you and Idia hung out together more. Whether it be playing board games or simply texting each other online, Idia grew more fond of you.

And then, with a growing adoration for you and a few helpful nudges from Ortho, you two became a couple. While he was still terribly awkward, he was glad to have you around.

When it comes to getting intimate with you, Idia is as eager as he is terrified. He gets so overwhelmed by his own thoughts he believes that if he does try to get you in his bed, he'll end up doing something super embarrassing and then he'll be cursed to think about how badly he fumbled before he goes to sleep every night.

So, you'll more than likely be the one to make the first move.

When you tell him that you are a soft dom, he is nothing short of relieved. With you being the one in control, it saves him from the stress and anxiety of somehow fucking up and embarrassing himself. He really doesn't mind, especially if it's the first couple of times you two have sex.

Honestly, he really likes that you're soft. He loves the praise and how kind you are to him. He won't admit it, but he does have quite the big ego.

When you two finally go to have sex, Idia is a bit surprised when you suddenly tell him that you're a little afraid to continue.

He understands how you feel. It's definitely quite the nerve-wracking experience. But trying his best to comfort you, he'll reassure you that at any time you two can stop. After all, you always try to make sure he's comfortable and you never force him to do anything he doesn't want to, so it's only fair that he does the same for you.

~Floyd Leech~

Floyd doesn't really care much about where you're from but he really likes your confidence! You talk to him so casually and even when there's times when he makes subtle threats towards you, you just shrug and walk away.

He enjoys your reactions to his teasing. You're flustered expression is always super funny, but there are times where you get back at him and make him flustered too. It's nice to hang around someone who doesn't shy away from him.

Floyd is truly a fun and amazing person when he wants to be. He may not be everyone's first choice for a boyfriend but he's yours.

When you two decide to pursue a romantic relationship you'll more than likely have been friends with Floyd for awhile and by then you'll have figured out how to deal with his chaotic personality and his ever changing moods.

Whenever you both decide to become more intimate, he's very interested when you tell him you're a soft dom. Floyd doesn't care that much about giving up the dominant role to you. He may complain a little bit though.

The first time you two decide to have sex Floyd's excitability can get the better of him. He may end up going a bit too fast and that's when he finds out your a bit scared of sex.

Floyd can't help but laugh a bit. He's not trying to be mean, it's just funny to him. He tells you how cute you are, gettin' all shy, and that there's nothing to worry about. He won't bite~

Not yet anyway.

But, he'll try to comfort you. He'll tell you that your silly and there's nothing to be afraid of. You can do whatever you want with him, just don't make it boring, 'kay? So go on and show him what ya got!

Of course, you can decide that your just not ready for it and he'll be fine with it. Sure, he may be slightly disappointed but it's not fun if you're gonna be upset the whole time. Either way, he's just excited to be with you.

[livuvur]

Favorite Edwin moment? Either 03 or BH?

Oh god that's a hard one... Considering I love every moment the two of them are on screen together but I will try, (also note I'm not including the most well-known, iconic moments aka gun scene/proposal, etc.) Just to keep the variety a little, I'm gonna focus more on moments that I believe have very high significance to their relationship but simply don't get talked about nearly enough. (Not in particular order)

1. This moment, especially in the manga makes me very very soft, in the page before this one we see ed being all miserable by himself, he goes to call winry (who is also being all miserable by herself) and I really do love the approach of this moment as it is not Ed trying to comfort Winry after Hughes' death nor bringing up the topic at all, since he himself doesn't know what else he could say about it, on top of the fact that he feels responsible for what happened to him, instead, he just tries to make sure winry doesn't go without eating because it would do her no good, and attempts to leave, but then she just takes his hand and leads him into her room and his face as she does so is just so utterly adorable... I love how soft that panel is, and how despite Ed not being one to comfort her she is still non-verbally asking him to stay, because she needs him by her side in those moments, and his presence alone is enough, and then, despite how he had just eaten he still accepts the apple pie Winry made because she put so much of her heart and her effort into it. And once he sees the tears gathering in her eyes he is simply physically incapable of saying no to her.

2. I think I've talked about these panels before on here, something very interesting to me is how the first panel shows ed admitting he always saw Winry as someone so upbeat and cheerful, to the point it is easy for him to forget how much pain she's actually been internalizing the whole time, and then scolding himself for not understanding her feelings at all. And then you have Winry seeing right through Ed, saying she knows he is just trying hard to be tough (and that he is an idiot, *cough*). The thing is, Winry has seen Ed at his worst, she was there taking care of both him and Al when they had lost everything and Ed was struggling under the weight of his guilt and pain, she saw him crying and sobbing everyday, she even mentions that at nights he just couldn't stop moaning from the pain and fever automail caused him. And on the other hand, Ed had been thinking quite the opposite about Winry, because she was always there being a rock for both him and Al even after having lost her family herself, she was there, always smiling for them and supporting his every step with such strenght he couldn't even imagine she was simultaneously grieving as well. Ed always saw Winry's strenght, but she always knew his weakness all too well.

3. Self-explanatory, I'm a sucker for edwin parallels: she thinks of him while she's dying, he thinks of her while he is fighting to stay alive. They are obsessed with each other, next one.

4. THIS MOMENT, GOD. “seeing it made me realize I couldn't go home”, “I want to be able to help you, so your road's not so hard” this whole scene is just so overlooked it hurts, cause it just goes to show Winry's love and dedication to Ed, and how his determination and resolve inspire her own, she is always looking to improve in any ways she can to help him, Ed literally is able to walk and to continue his journey because of her, (and he reminds it to her in one of her darkest moments) and I just think it's amazing how they're both always challenging each other under different circumstances, this is just one of them, with Winry declaring she is gonna push herself to be the fucking best she can so she can be there for him. (Also his sudden self-awareness and blush when he realizes he is staring at her smile... *blows them up with dynamite*)

5. Again, self-explanatory. Absolutely fucking love some good male rage when his boo is threatened, Bradley didn't even have to lay a finger on her and this guy was ready to strangle him right there. (Also Olivier's entire speech in BH saying Ed's eyes were “desperate” and of “a boy who would do anything to protect the things he loves” when he refused to tell her anything about the homunculi because Winry was a hostage, even tho he knew Olivier could have chopped him in little pieces just because of that. <3

6.

Damn apparently I can't add more images lmao but basically this whole thing they unspokenly have going on where they give each other an item that belongs to the other so they keep it as a reassurance/promise they will see each other again: Ed giving winry his red coat after the gun scene, Winry giving Ed her earrings and asking him to keep them safe for her, and even in their very last scene, Winry keeping Ed's white hoodie, the one he wore when he came back home to her. Just. They are so. Yeah.

Believe me I have many more I could go on for hours, I wanted to include some 03 moments too, but it's 1 am and I need sleep so yeah (also forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes on this I really do need to 💤)

thank you for the ask !

[rennsdeaddoves]

Tripitaka…

Ight. I’ll be up front with you all, He’s a god damn coward. He will complain when things stray from the plan he has in his head but he will never tell the others about the plan because even after everything they have done for him he will never trust a demon.

But Rue is a different story, he confides in her the amount of times he has thought about exercising his three disciples (especially Wukong) he tells her he knows it’s wrong to use the golden crown and that he know how much pain it creates for the monkey but still does it more than he should because ”he is a demon and cannot Lear thus he must be punished”.

Everyone thinks he is kind and virtuous, but all Rue sees is a cowardly abuser who doesn’t consider the people closest to him as anything more than demons. Hell even though Rue has Proved herself more times than anyone can count and gained the respect of all the demons, Tripitaka still thinks she is incapable of some things because she’s a women. But he has seen what she does to people who voice this opinion so he keeps his mouth shut.

He will often neglect Lei Aio’s needs, he has never forgotten that he is riding a celestial dragon, so thinking that because the horse is a dragon it doesn’t need the same care as any other regular horse. Thus before Rue caught on he would feed the dragon smaller portions, not let him rest properly, etc.

While it is true the Tang Monk has his good qualities, he also hides a much darker side only Rue can really see because she knows what abuse looks like and she also knows that this was how things went during these times but even if it is the order of things it doesn’t make it right.

Rues challenge with the monk; making him see what he is doing to the others is wrong.

[totowlff]

chapter thirty-five — finish line

➝ calm seas never made good sailors. however, that storm seemed to be the end of it all.

➝ word count: 3,7k

➝ warnings: a little smut

MAY, 2017

Elisabeth sat in the jet seat, her eyes fixed on the laptop screen, displaying graphs with the monthly change in the turnover of Mercedes-Benz Grand Prix Ltd, as well as the gross profit of the last five years. The numbers were already making her eyes cross, but she didn’t want to close the lid of the laptop and be alone with her thoughts instead. 

It would just make her feel alone, especially if her thoughts lead to the last time she was on the plane.

After her discussion with Toto, Elisabeth resigned herself to silence. She had nothing more to say to him than was strictly necessary. Anything she’d said was work related, and said with as few words as possible.. He had made it clear that he didn't care about her opinion. He had classified her worries and fears as being part of her “spoiled little girl ego” and that he didn't care about them.

— I don't care either — Elisabeth remembered whispering, as she stared at the guest room ceiling, tears streaming down her temples as her breathing went ragged.

“Bullshit”, she thought, leaning back in her seat and sighing.

Of course Elisabeth cared what Toto thought. Why else would she always make a point of asking his opinion? She always wanted to know what he thought about lots of different subjects, whether it was about a supplier at the factory, or if she should have put more salt on the chicken she was preparing for dinner. The only thing she hoped was that Toto would also consider her opinions when making decisions. It shouldn’t have been something difficult to do, at least in theory.

In practice, Toto seemed completely incapable of considering what she thought about some things. He knew her like the back of his hand, so he was almost always right about what her opinion usually was, but Elisabeth still wanted him to ask her about certain decisions. She didn't want to feel like her opinion was completely insignificant, likefelt the night after they got back. She was ruminating over it as she chose an espresso capsule to put in the coffee machine.

— Good morning, Liesl — Toto said behind her, making something inside her chest tighten. She glanced over her shoulder — Did you sleep well?

She limited herself to an affirmative sound, afraid her own voice would break. “Bullshit”, Elisabeth scolded herself. Of course she hadn’t slept well. 

— Are you going to the factory this morning?

— Yes — Elisabeth managed to say, as she selected a gold-colored capsule and put the rest of them back in the cabinet. 

— I thought you'd go this afternoon with me.

— I changed my mind — she said, as she opened another cupboard in search of a cup.

— You never go to the factory in the morning after the races — Toto remarked, making Elisabeth purse her lips. She had never been more frustrated with his knowledge of her than she was at that moment. She chose to remain silent, and tried to convince herself it was for her own sake.

But Toto couldn’t do the same. He insisted. He teased. He tried at all costs to elicit answers from her as the coffee machine hissed and filled her cup, until her frustration boiled over.

— And how can you be serious when you ask me to believe that you honestly forgot to tell me that you're going to be away for who knows how long taking part in a race?

— I'm serious, Elisabeth, because that's what happened! — he exclaimed. She shook her head as she grabbed her cup from the machine. In her mind, she came to a painful conclusion - she simply couldn’t go on like this.

— Liesl — he said, quietly, behind her.

Maybe it was time to put an end to things. Maybe it would be better if they just went their separate ways, sticking to their casual encounters at the factory and during races. Maybe it was better if she just accepted that they weren't meant for each other. Maybe it would be better if they broke up.

— Do what you want — Elisabeth murmured, without turning around to look at him — We don't owe satisfaction to each other anyway.

The thought of ending their relationship for good lingered in her head for the next few days. In Elisabeth's view, there was nothing worth saving, and she imagined packing all of her things and going back to Vienna 

— Fuck — she growled, staring at the floor with teary eyes as she sat on the bed in the guest room. She picked up her phone and scrolled through her contact list, before tapping on one of her contacts. As she heard the line ringing, something told Elisabeth to give up and just go with whatever she was thinking.

— Hello? — Emilia said, her voice sounding a little sleepy.

— Hi Emilia, how are you? — she asked, her voice a little choked — Did I wake you up?

— No, I was watching a movie — she replied — Are you crying? Did something happen?

— Yes — Elisabeth whispered.

— What?

It was as if she had broken down, the tears streaming down her face, the sobs making her chest ache. Recalling the events of the past few days was painful, but not any more so than realizing that all her effort had been for naught over those two years. As much as she loved him, he didn't love her to the same extent.

— I'm going to break up with Toto — Elisabeth said quietly.

— Are you crazy? — Emilia shouted on the other end of the line. She sounded outraged — You can’t break up with him for something like that!

— Do you think his mistrust in me is nonsense?

— Elisabeth, it's one thing for you to be upset that he didn't tell you. It's another if you just want to throw an entire relationship, years of partnership, understanding and love, away because of an argument. Valtteri and I had arguments over worse things and we moved on together. We even got married.

— You said you two are still arguing — she murmured.

— My arguments with Valtteri relate to other matters, Elisabeth. Things that don't depend on me and, in a way, don't depend on him either. We’re talking about your relationship, not mine, and you can’t break up with him.

— But, what if it's the right thing for both of us? What if I'm tying him down to an unhappy life, full of explanations and worries and fears? He's brave, he likes to do things his way and I feel… like I’m in the way. A thorn in his side.

— He doesn’t look at you like you’re a thorn in his side, Elisabeth. He looks at you like he wants you to be by his side forever. I don't know if you believe in these things, but you two were destined to meet and be together — Emilia said, making Elisabeth snort — You told me the story yourself about someone mentioning an Austrian racing with a N-GT at Silverstone back in 2002 and you found out you were Toto a few months ago.

— That doesn't mean anything — Elisabeth muttered, running a hand through her hair.

— Look, I can't make this decision for you, but since you called for my opinion, I think you should reconsider. Wait and see if your feelings for Toto change, or if you still love him. And… If your love is still there, Elisabeth, give it a chance. Don't deprive yourself of being happy for this kind of nonsense.

Emilia's last words reminded her of her father's words on their flight to Bahrain a few years ago, when she was still repressing her own feelings for Toto. She had done all that to be happy with the man she loved. She hadn't denied herself the chance to be happy before, why would she deny it now?

— Okay — Elisabeth murmured, before saying goodbye to Emilia. She let out a sigh and stared at the lifeless walls of the guest room.

“It's time to go back”, she thought, getting up from the bed and leaving, towards the master bedroom. She stepped inside quietly and made her way to the bathroom to wash her face. She laid her head down on her pillow, a distinctly masculine scent on the pillowcase, as if a man had slept with it against his body.

— Liesl?

Elisabeth's heart was pounding in her chest.

— Liesl — Toto repeated, his voice sad — Please…

She sighed, trying to hold back the tears.

— I know I messed up. I know I should have talked to you. I know I said harsh things. But — he hesitated for a few seconds, searching for the right thing to say — I want to make it up to you. Let me fix things, Liesl. Please.

Elisabeth was frozen against the pillow, tears flowing.

— Good night — he whispered — I love you.

Even though Toto turned off the light, Elisabeth couldn't sleep. His last words replayed over and over in her head. If he still loved her, she felt like she would feel less guilty about still loving him after everything that happened this week. But if she still loved him, why did she feel like crying just looking at him? Why did she feel like his touch could burn her? And why did something inside her beg, even if Toto turned her to ash, that she give herself up?

The memory of the last time they'd had sex filled her mind, sending a tingle down to her belly. Maybe she needed this. Maybe the solution was to feel him at least one last time, as a kind of farewell.

The following night, Elisabeth got into bed with him after the bedroom lights had been turned off. Fumbling with the sheet in the dark, she found his back, drawing his attention. As soon as Toto turned around, she kissed him, imploring him to keep the lights off. She wanted them to remain in darkness, as she was sure she would regret it if he turned on the light. She knew that if she saw his expression as he penetrated her it would completely discard her ability to make any logical decision. The sincerity in his eyes would make her stay, and the way he said her name, like a whispered prayer, would never let her think about leaving again.

As she was on top of him, with her hands resting on his shoulders and her hips moving awkwardly, as if her body was seeing orgasm on its own accord, Elisabeth's mind was racing. She was angry. She was tired. She was happy. She was almost at the peak of pleasure. She was completely in love with him. She was convinced that she could never leave.

— Fuck, Liesl — he growled, his fingers digging into her thighs as Elisabeth was hit by her own orgasm like a wave cresting on the rocks, a moan of relief escaping her lips. But as she collapsed against his chest, her muscles quivering, she could only feel one thing. A singular emotion. It was the same thing she felt when she flew to Italy later that morning.

She felt guilty.

She felt guilty for having doubted his intentions, his emotions, and how earnestly he loved her. She felt guilty for saying she wouldn't be by his side if anything happened during that damn race of his, because she would. She shouldn’t have even thought about the possibility, but the images from his accident in 2009 were too fresh in her mind.

The thought of losing him was too painful for her to bear.

— Miss Lauda, we will begin landing procedures in Brescia. I ask that you fasten your seat belt until the plane comes to a complete stop. Thank you.

She just did as she was told, buckling her seat belt and taking a deep breath, trying to push the tension away. However, the anxiety of seeing Toto, talking to him, of saying everything that was stuck in her throat continued to bother her, like an itch in a place she couldn't reach. Elisabeth’s head continued to swim as she parked her rental car near the Parco Rebuffone, where the Mille Miglia would finish.

Elisabeth hadn't told anyone in the Mercedes marketing team or the race organization that she would be there. After all, she didn’t even know she would be there until the night before. She hoped she could go unnoticed among the crowds and she walked through the park, watching all of the excitement.

— Elisabeth Lauda? — a male voice asked behind her. Turning around, she saw a smiling man, accompanied by a little girl in a T-shirt with a silver star, as well as an older boy wearing a Mercedes cap. Both of them seemed awestruck to see her — Can we take a picture with you?

She blinked, a little taken aback by the request. Of course Elisabeth had grown up being photographed, especially by paparazzi. However, she had never been approached on the street by anyone like that. It was actually quite surprising.

— Of course — she smiled, as the two children approached her, crouching down to be closer to their height. The man pointed his cell phone at them and started taking pictures of the moment.

— Their grandfather, in this case my father, was crazy about motorsport — the man said, after signaling that he had managed to capture the image — He was so passionate that he promised that he would name his first son in honor of the driver who won that year's championship. I was born in 1977, so you can guess what my name is.

— Do you have my father's name?

— Niccolò, a variant, but that's the idea.

— That’s amazing — Elisabeth replied, smiling. She chatted some more with the man and the children, who were genuinely in love with Lewis and Mercedes.

However, soon she was approached for another photo, this time with a woman. Then came another young man who wore a competition cap. Soon after, someone from the local newspaper approached her to talk to her about the competition and Toto’s participation. Then more photos, until a member of the organizing committee managed to reach her through the crowd.

— Miss Lauda, it is a real pleasure to have you here with us. Could you accompany me?

As she waved goodbye to the people that stopped to talk to her, she followed the man to a tent where several people, members of the Automobile CIub of Brescia, had gathered. They greeted her warmly, almost as if they knew her. “Maybe they do”, she thought, as a man described one of the times she spoke to Niki and how her father described his youngest child.

— Ah, but I imagine you're not here because of Ferrari, but because of Mercedes, I suppose — Roberto, the vice-president of the club, said, smiling.

— Actually, I'm here for one of the competitors, but also for Mercedes.

— Oh yes, you are Toto Wolff's wife, right?

The word 'wife' made her heart leap.

— No, not wife. Only his girlfriend. 

— Ah, from the way he spoke about you, I assumed that you’d been married for years — Roberto said, making Elisabeth smile, her heart full of hope. If he was talking about her, maybe that meant he was willing to talk to her. Maybe he was willing to forgive her or at least give her a second chance after all — By the way, he is doing very well, he is the best classified Mercedes so far.

— Good drivers never lose their skills — she replied.

After talking a little with members of the Club, and being practically dragged to the lunch they had organized in a nearby restaurant, Elisabeth returned to the finish line, just before the first cars began to arrive, to the delight of the public.

However, as Alfa Romeos, Ferraris, Bugattis, Fiats and Aston Martins passed along Viale Venezia, Elisabeth felt a little worried about the absence of Mercedes in the procession. To her relief, a line of silver cars began to approach the finish line.

— He's over there — Roberto told her, pointing to one of the cars, which had a large sticker with the number 345, the same one that was on the shirt Toto was wearing in the pictures she had seen. From a distance, she could see his arm sticking out of the vehicle window, waving at people.

As the car approached, she got a better look at Toto's face. He was smiling broadly. “He's happy”, Elisabeth thought, sighing. There was something painful about seeing him happy like that, especially because she’d tried to stop him from running in this race. At the same time, she felt her chest warm with such joy.

More than anything, she wanted him to be happy.

As he crossed the finish line, his eyes met Elisabeth's, surprise evident on his face. Lifting a hand to wave, she gave him a shy, almost embarrassed smile. The same smile was on her face when she approached the spot where the car was parked along with the other dozens of vehicles that had participated in the race.

Outside of the car, Toto was talking to Aldo and two other men, dressed in the same shirt as he was. Upon noticing her presence, he excused himself from the group and walked towards her, a serious expression on her face.

— Elisabeth — Toto said in a solemn tone.

— Toto — she replied, feeling her heart pounding in her chest — Can we talk?

He sighed.

— You have something you want to talk about?

— Yes.

— It hasn’t seemed like it for the past few days— Toto muttered, looking down at the ground, a troubled look on his face. Elisabeth took a deep breath, trying to ignore his coldness. “He has every right to be upset with me”, she thought.

— Can we go somewhere more… Private?

He pursed his lips, as if he was considering her offer.

— Yes — Toto replied — There's a cafe nearby that's quieter.

Elisabeth smiled.

— Excellent.

After letting Aldo know that the two of them would be going to a nearby cafe and asking if he wanted something, they walked from the parking lot to the cafe that Toto had pointed out. They walked together, neither of them saying anything. Fortunately, the inside of the shop was quiet, even with the crowds outside. After ordering at the counter and sitting down at one of the tables, they stared at each other for a few seconds, as if they were waiting for the other to start the conversation.

— I thought you wouldn't come here, even if I flipped the car over and ended up in the hospital — he said, quietly. 

— I changed my mind.

Toto raised an eyebrow.

— You changed your mind?

— Yeah, I did.

— Why? — he asked.

— I spent a lot of time thinking, reflecting about everything that happened in the last few weeks. I was considering whether or not it was worth continuing.

The last sentence made him pause.

— Continuing?

— Continuing with… Our relationship.

Toto was silent for a few seconds.

— Did you come all this way to break up with me? — he asked, his voice a little hesitant — You could have saved your time and energy and waited until tomorrow to do that, you know, right?

Elisabeth swallowed hard. He appeared to be quite calm for someone who was being confronted with the possibility of the end of a relationship as complicated and intense as theirs was.

— I know. But I wanted to talk to you as soon as you were available.

— You could have called.

— I'm not a woman who makes decisions over the phone, Toto. Especially the ones involving my life and… The people I love.

The last word had him looking up from his hands, seeming to process the word she'd just said. As Toto stared at her, an employee from the cafeteria approached their table with the two cups of espresso they had ordered. Thanking the woman, Elisabeth waited for her to move away to look back at the man in front of her.

— And what decision did you come to? — he asked, sipping his coffee.

She sighed.

— I came all this way to apologize to you, Toto. I came all this way to tell you that I love you. That I can’t see my life without you. That I was wrong from the beginning in trying to impose my fears and insecurities on you, especially in relation to your passions — Elisabeth replied, feeling her voice break and her eyes fill with tears. It was too hard to think about living in a world without Toto. Worse than that, it was living in a world where he was present, but wasn’t part of her life.

After a few seconds of staring into his own drink, he looked up at her, a shy smile on his lips.

— You don't need to apologize, Liesl.

— I do, Toto — she answered — I acted like a spoiled little girl who…

— No, you didn’t. I was wrong to not fulfill my part of our agreement. I'm the one who has to apologize to you, but I was too proud to admit it. 

Elisabeth stared at him for a few seconds.

— You mean you forgive me?

Toto smiled.

— Yes. I forgive you, baby. And you?

— Always — she replied, taking his hand from the table, squeezing it lightly.

They remained hand in hand for a few seconds, in silence. Elisabeth felt an inexplicable relief, a feeling of lightness. It was a wonderful thing, considering the general feeling she had been having for the past few days was that of drowning.

— Liesl?

— Yes.

— Did you really think about breaking up with me?

— Yes. But Emilia made me realize I was being an idiot.

Toto was silent for a few seconds.

— Remind me to thank her for that, huh?

She laughed.

— Why?

— I would never forgive myself if I had lost you to an old car.

Elisabeth shook her head.

— It's not an old car, it's a Mercedes.

— From 1952, that’s old. And it’s an old car with the worst gearbox and damping in the world — Toto replied with a playful smile. “How I missed it”, she thought, while laughing at his comment.

— I thought you liked it…

— I do. But I don't ever want to drive it again.

— It is so bad?

— Finish your coffee and we'll go for a ride. I doubt you'll like it.

— With you at the wheel, I'm sure I'll like it. Well, until you start to race.

— I won’t, Liesl.

— Promise?

— I promise — Toto said, taking her hand and kissing her fingers.

[faustinio27]

22-24 for Faustine for the OC meme!

Thanks you for the ask! I don't know if you wanted the 23 also? send a new ask if it's the case please ;w;

22) What character aligment would you consider your OC to be?

I never did the test, hum I suppose Neutral Good? Faustine always works for the well-being of others, whether close to her or strangers, often in spite of her own well-being. She also believes that laws and rules are there for a reason, but that they have their limits, and that sometimes you have to break them to give precedence to your own morals and conscience.

24) What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

I said that Faustine was the typical MC/protagonist, well I have a villain/AU for her 😈 Especially because until the end of the game, I didn't know if I was making her take the right or the wrong path (both were logical in her story). If the canon one is the "good" one (Fig dies anyway but she choose to respect her promise and to not take the corrupt ancient magic), in the bad ending, as she witnesses Fig's death, she realizes that her fears have proved true: she is not strong enough to protect her loved ones. So she decides to take Isidora's ancient magic.

From here, things changes. She will always be followed by her conviction that she must be stronger to protect her found family, and therefore tougher on her enemies. While in the canon she comes to her senses after Fig's death and "calms down", here she'll always remain ruthless. She will finish her schooling at Hogwarts and will also train to become an Auror, also as in the canon. But working at the heart of the problem, faced with the incompetence of the Ministry of Magic and the horrors of the dark wizards she confronts, she believes she is the only one who can restore true justice to the wizarding world, and decides to stage a coup to seize power and become Minister of Magic (with the help of her friends, convinced they are helping her for a good cause).

Except that Faustine will become judge, jury and executioner of this new power. She proudly protects the innocent and mercilessly punishes those who do wrong. Except that her standards for who's "bad" are getting higher, and her notion of justice is beginning to falter, especially when she starts attacking wizards who simply have a different point of view from her own. Public opinion is divided on the subject, with some feeling safer while others feel threatened, especially when freedom of thought and expression is compromised.

While Faustine always tries to be as fair as possible, she becomes increasingly paranoid about seeing enemies where there are none, obsessed with the idea of them attacking her or her loved ones. As for her found family, although they all support her, conflicts erupt and divide, to the point where they finally all agree that Faustine has gone too far. Even though she's always the same with them, caring and protective, they can't ignore the evil she's spreading around her. And after many unsuccessful attempts to reason with her, they agree that Sebastian and Natsai will have to murder her to stop her.

During the fight, Faustine defends herself but does not counter-attack. Because she's incapable of harming them on. In the end, they deliver the fatal blow. Faustine dies, betrayed by the people she wanted to protect most in the world.

[the-king-andthe-lionheart]

I really hate Septa Mordane. I’m sorry Ned, but she is not a good woman. She’s a bullying, lazy, rude, hag of a teacher. Instead of being kind and trying to help Arya improve her skills, or give her something alternative to do that can be similar, Mordane belittles and insults Arya, unfavorably compares her to Sansa, and lets Sansa and her friends bully Arya. Mordane is a hag and a horrible teacher. I wouldn’t be surprised if she helped Catelyn smear Jon because he is a bastard.

Sorry for the late reply @whitedragonwolf4961

I agree, Septa Mordane is the worst type of teacher. Not only was she incapable of actually teaching a student who was struggling, but she bullied said student. Like you said, she constantly compares Arya and Sansa and continuously calls Arya "wicked", and forces Sansa to be authoritative to Arya instead of doing her job and going to Arya herself to get her to participate when she's wanted/needed which puts a further strain on Arya's and Sansa's relationship. Not only that, but this obviously doesn't just affect Arya. She's a horrible governess and chaperone to Sansa. Like where the fuck was she that day on the Trident when Sansa went off with Joffrey? She should have been chaperoning that date to guard Sansa's virtue. And she got drunk and passed out at the tourney feast leaving Sansa to fend for herself to get back to the Tower of the Hand. She could have been assaulted. And she brought Sansa to hear petitions at court when Ned didn't want Sansa to be there. Like I said before, it's amazing Mordane wasn't fired before she was killed.

And yeah, I fully believe Mordane was one of the reasons why Sansa and Jeyne became such nasty bullies. Obviously when they see an adult bullying someone they are going to think that's okay and to participate in the same behavior. It really makes me wonder what else Mordane has said to Arya. Like was Mordane commenting on Arya's looks as well because she didn't look like a southerner? And yeah, I do think Mordane is partly responsible for how classist and prejudicial Sansa became. Of course Catelyn was a big influence in that as well. Some of Catelyn's biggest faults is her classism and her prejudice against bastards. She's also very in line with the status quo which IMO is so odd because she's pushing Arya to conform at the age of 9 and younger yet she was weaving flower crowns and playing make believe when she was 12 and playing in the mud before that. So yeah, her misogyny is a big fault as well. All of this will naturally rub off on children sometimes. Of course this is no excuse when it comes to Sansa. Yes, she was influenced by Mordane and Catelyn, but considering Arya was also influenced by them and yet didn't in return turn into a classist, prejudiced bully with internalized misogyny should tell us how far influence can go. So I don't excuse Sansa at all when it comes to her being a bully. I don't care if she was "just a child" because so was Arya, yet Arya didn't turn into THAT when she had every reason to retaliate and be the same. I also don't excuse it because Sansa should have realized as she grew how morally wrong it was to hurt others, yet she didn't. Maybe I can understand a small child not knowing better, but not someone on the cusp of adolescence, especially when you could tell Sansa got great pleasure out of hurting Arya.

[ask-healthy-light]

To the others' great relief, Inferno did not distance herself any more, though she did look at them in confusion, and shrugged, as she did not understand what they meant, nor why they would willingly show her such kindness; for in all her years of training for battle and war, she could not remember a moment that she was given a chance to choose for herself, as she had always been told what to do.

But before she could refuse their offer, Nox walked up to her side, and spoke to her no differently than she would any friend, especially since she had known Inferno for a very long time, and sweetly reminded her of her reaction when she first met Luna; for although she thought herself incapable of anything but coldness and stoicism, Nox said that such gentleness was enough to prove the opposite.

Though Inferno did not say anything to oppose Nox at first, after she briefly glanced back at their companions, she shook her head, and selflessly asked Nox to ignore her, and to focus on taking care of her friends; but Nox merely smiled, and promised Inferno that she was a part of that group, too, and she would not stand idly by to watch yet another one of her friends treat themselves so poorly.

When Inferno heard her mention that she was not the first to act like this, she turned back to look at Nox, whose smile grew brighter when she nodded to her Captain, before she discreetly gestured to Light, who was quietly looking towards the horizon; and she told Inferno that they were very alike, as she had powerlessly watched Light put themselves in danger for the sake of others far too often.

But as her smile grew warmer, and she gently took Inferno's claw, Nox continued, and said that they would not have gone here with Light to help the Green Unicorn if they had not accepted her offer to help; and just like she had helped them to realise their selflessness would only lead to more harm, she wanted Inferno to understand that she did not want another friend to travel down the same path.

As both Inferno and Nox's eyes started to well up with tears of different kinds, Inferno slowly sat down next to Nox, who promised her that she would look after all her friends, as long as she looked after herself, too; and although she realised that it would take more than a brief talk to help her change, she would be glad if just once, Inferno could see herself as an equal, instead of inferior.

There was no lie to be found in either Nox's words, which both wonderfully warmed and awfully ached her heart, her eyes, that showed her kindness greater than any she had gotten before, or her smile, so gentle and caring that it made Inferno smile as well; but she did not utter a single word, since she did not know what say, nor what to give to Nox that was as valuable to the reassurance she got.

At that moment, as if she had read her mind, Nox sweetly embraced Inferno, and quietly asked her to stop wondering about what to give her in return, as if it was a debt she now had to repay, and just told her to consider her request; and though Inferno reached for her sword when Nox placed her arms around her, her reaction faded just as swiftly as it had appeared, and she relaxed her tensed body.

As tears started to stain her face, Inferno carefully wrapped her arms around Nox in turn, and ever so slowly pulled her closer to her, until they could feel one another's hearts beating in their own chests; and Nox quietly whispered an apology to Inferno, as she had never realised how much she had missed in her life, but as she strengthened her grip, she swore to help her grow, heal, and thrive.

When Nox released Inferno from her embrace, although she expected her to be incredibly relieved, to her pleasant surprise, she did not let go of Nox, and only pulled her even closer in turn, allowing her to feel her racing heart and hear her quivering breaths; but as Nox started to console Inferno, she asked her not to tell the others that she had been crying, as she feared what they might think.

But after Nox promised to keep her secret, she chuckled quietly, and told Inferno:

"Not long ago, Light broke down in my arms as well. I did say that you two were alike…"

(Thanks for reading! And if you enjoyed, please reblog! Thanks in advance!)

Send an ask or request! | Start at the beginning! | Next part!

Featuring: Nox Lunarwing from @nox-lunarwing Boomlord from @thedumbguywithaheart43

[ysbrydthespoop]

Gorillaz Headcanons Part 3

After the forever cult incedent, Noodle subconsciously makes the decision to wear less pink and makes the conscious decision to dye her hair back to black. She is officially done with this cult shit.

"If anyone ever says it would be a good idea to start a cult ever again. I'm punching them." Noodle 2023, as they all pack up to move the fuck out of Silver Lake.

She never thought it was a good idea in the first place. She pretty much only went along with it to monitor it and make sure the boys didn't do anything stupid behind her back.

She regrets not keeping a closer eye on 2D. Admittedly, almost all of her attention was focused on Murdoc because she thought if anyone was going to end up getting themselves into trouble, especially in a cult situation, it was him.

Noodle thinks Murdoc is way bigger dumbass than 2D. In her words, "He's proved this many, many times."

Russel agrees entirely and will tell you, "I can vouch for the girl. There have been so many times."

The music video for 5/4 was ultimately scrapped because Russel and 2D were convinced that if it ever saw the light of day, social services would come for their assess and they would never get to see Noodle again.

Getting naked during a live concert, while filming a music video, in front of Noodle can also be added to the list of reasons why Russel has broken Murdoc's nose.

"I wish I was blind." Noodle 2001. Or whenever the video for 5/4 was in production.

When Noodle was around ten years old, two Marv and Harry level morons decided it would be a good idea to try and kidnap her. Actually, they made Marv and Harry look like geniuses. This was around time the band had really started to gain fame and success, and they thought they had chosen the perfect target. Small kid. Incapable of defending herself. Especially against two fully grown men. Wealthy caretakers. What could go wrong? All that resulted in that were two grown men getting the crap beaten out of them by a tiny child and then by three other grown men.

2D made her go to counselling after that, certain she was traumatised, but at most, all that incident was to her was an annoying inconvenience and an insult. They really thought she'd be an easy target? Idiots. Counselling probably did help her through events to come, though.

Even after regaining her ability to speak fluent English, it still took about a year for Noodle to understand 2D's accent.

Every Halloween, when Noodle was still young enough to go trick or treating, she'd wear a birthday girl badge with her costume, as per Murdoc's advice. Said advice would land her with a ton of extra sweats, to the point where all three of the other band members had to help her carry it all.

And because Noodle was small and looked a bit younger than she was, they may have gone a few years after she would have been considered too old.

The others all read 2D's poetry just because they it's something they like to do. But they try to keep 2D from knowing because they suspect at least some of them are meant to be private and personal. Exept Murdoc. He reads them to see if they have the potential to be turned into lyrics (or so he claims) and has no problem telling 2D if they're good or "rubbish." The sight of Murdoc sat on the floor, poetry spread about him, base in his hands. Trying to get his notes to synchronise with 2D's words is a sight 2D has long since gotten used to seeing. Quite a few of them have ended up becoming songs

2D took a degree in law because of what happened to them in LA when they tried to make a movie. He didn't want himself or anyone he cared about to be conned and taken advantage of like that ever again.

In the aftermath of the forever cult incident, there are two members that are under the constant watch of the others. Noodle and Murdoc have been watching over Russel since this whole thing began, and that's not going to stop any time soon, or ever, until they know he's going to be okay. Meanwhile, 2D was drugged for weeks, and they're praying he doesn't have any lasting affects.

Now that the forever cult is no more, the clues in the static have served their purpose and everyone, namely 2D, is safe, Noodle has only one thing to say to Russel "My friend, I'm putting my foot down now. It's straight to therapy for you."

Murdoc has only one objection to this. "Let us get back to England first, love! The bills here would bankrupt us!"

When Russel headed out into the desert, he unknowingly put Noodle through a nightmare. Well, it had been a nightmare for 2D and Murdoc, too. But she thinks she has the right to say it was especially a nightmare for her because she had to manage this shit. He didn't tell anyone where he was going or how long he'd be. He was just home one minute, gone the next, and this sent Noodle frantic. He still wasn't well, not by any means, and in his unstable state, Noodle wasn't sure if he was a danger to himself. The others didn't fare much better. Murdoc was trying to show them he wasn't worried, but you could tell in his eyes he was panicking. The only reason 2D kept calm was because he was still high out of his mind. If he wasn't, he would have had a panic attack there and then. But even in the state he was in, the thought of Russel being missing alone in the state he was in still made 2D worry a little. Cue a search and possible rescue mission that took all day. ALL DAY. With a high 2D in tow because 2D also wasn't in a state where he could be left alone right now and like hell was Noodle trusting Murdoc to be alone with him in a state like this. In fact, none of the boys could be trusted on their own. She wouldn't have trusted Murdoc on his own on any day of the week. Just for being Murdoc. So their so-called search party was just her looking for Russel while babysitting the other two. The ultimate low point came about four hours in. When the possible places Russel could be were becoming threadbare, and as if some dumbass had said "Well at least this can't get any worse", 2D started to come down from his high, and with it, down came the gravity of the situation. And that was when he had a panic attack. Russel had left his phone at home, making the tracker she put on it useless. So they had no choice but to find him the old-fashioned way. The gruelling, never ending, ever terror and dispare inducing old-fashioned way. When they finally managed to find him, it was a releif beyond words to find him asleep, looking more at peace than she'd seen him in years. But the smallest part of her (the part of her she didn't particularly like) wanted to let Murdoc smack him.

Noodle has decided the others don't need to know that she has now put a tracker on every single vehicle they own, along with every device that can support one. She loves Russel with all her heart, but she is NOT letting him do that shit to her again.

And then the next day, 2D goes missing. He goes off by himself without telling anyone despite still being under the effects of all those drugs. Actually, he probably went off like that because he was still under the effects of all those drugs. I mean, she found him playing a melodica while standing on the severed head of the demon that just tried to eat him, for God's sake. God knows what he was thinking! When she realised he was gone, her reaction was pretty much, "OH HELL NO BOY!"

How she managed to be raised by these three and not develop a severe addiction to nicotine is beyond her. Every day, they make her think, "I need a cigarette, and she's never once smoked a cigarette in her entire life.

One of the main decisions Russel makes while out in the dessert is to spend more time with his loved ones. Especially 2D because man did almost die, and if he had, Russel would have wasted the last year or so he had with him staring at a TV. And especially Noodle. He doesn't regret getting obsessed with static chanels and the idea of a promised land. Because if he hadn't, they might not have been to save 2D. But he does regret that he neglected everything else around him, including her, and now he worries they might not be as close as they used to be.

Noodle, on the other hand, has been worried sick about Russel for over a year and just wants him to be himself again. It's not going to take much at all to get these two back to being as close as they've always been.