#(spends a lot of hours drawing smth)(forgets)

[meep--tm]

preview of my interior page for @aafranmayazine which has extended preorders until APRIL 14th!!!!!!!!!!!

what if you were GAY and you wanted to NAP with your GIRLFRIEND but she just wanted to play SPLAT ZONES

[linosies-library]

school stress - skz reaction (hyung edition)

in which your exam period leaves you stressed, tired, and at anything but your best.

wc: 669

pairing: boyfriend!skz x gn!reader

genre: comfort fluff, can be seen as angst to comfort (?)

warnings: drabble-y, mentions of stress, schoolwork, conflict with partners, symptoms of anxiety, food/eating (and lack thereof)

requested

hyung line | maknae line

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ

𝚋 𝚊 𝚗 𝚐 𝚌 𝚑 𝚊 𝚗 . as you can imagine, the absolute sweetest. constantly checking in with you whether by text or calling, and definitely asks you to come to his studio instead of confining yourself under piles of books and papers and blankets in your room, because we all know working in your bed can trick your brain into thinking bed time = work time. it's a great way for both of you to spend time together and keep each other from overworking. he'd encourage you to take coffee and snack breaks, and some cuddle breaks where you can both listen back on what he's been working on! I think chan's main goal would be to comfort you, care for you, and give you a comfortable environment you can escape to when you're feeling overwhelmed and your brain is scrambled. need to vent about crappy project partners? he'll listen and giggle as you go off. can't find the words for your essay? he'll have you talk it out or share what he's written, hoping to inspire you the way you do him. have a test you're worried about and feel like nothing's sticking? he'll ask you gently to explain your coursework as you cuddle, helping you realize you know a whole lot more than you realized.

𝚕 𝚎 𝚎 𝚔 𝚗 𝚘 𝚠 . okay another sweet one and yes I'll say it with every member in case you forget. but ofc we know that he either 1) doesn't like to show it or 2) shows it in his own unique way. you are his absolute favourite person and the light of his life and he despises seeing you upset and stressed and neglecting yourself for stupid tests and projects. so naturally, he volunteers to fight them all, going as far as to punch your textbook going 'yah, leave my baby alone only I can bother them!' he is also constantly and I mean constantly packing you little bento boxes and lunch packages so you have no excuse for not eating. leaves notes in them too with weird but cute messages and little cat drawings!! he can't have you wanting for anything, ever. but! if he's around while you're neck-deep in notes and coursework, you can bet he'll nag you every so often into getting up to stretch and get something in your stomach. stressed? wanting to throttle your prof or classmate into the next dimension? frustrated that things just aren't making enough sense? he'll chew out whatever the issue is and bitch about it in the most ridiculous ways; all he wants is for his baby to smile, even for a second.

𝚌 𝚑 𝚊 𝚗 𝚐 𝚋 𝚒 𝚗 . again, a sweetheart. but... dare I say annoying? he means really well but almost all he does is distract you. he hates seeing how stressed and frustrated and exhausted you are, so his brain comes up with the best solution it can find: taking you away from what's causing the misery. simple, right? well, no natter how many times you tell him you love him and appreciate what he's trying to do, he's not quite changing his approach. he comes by a little less often, but always shows up with a drink in hand or some food and a video to distract you for at least 5 minutes bc 'it's important y/n! you need to see this!' but it's just a workout fail compilation or smth. you're finally able to come to a compromise after he pokes your shoulder for the second time in the hour (without counting the dozen others before) and you're about to bite his head off because you finally were on a roll. in the end, you beg him to go to the gym for a couple of hours and take his time coming back, and after that you'll be all his. 'takeout and movie night?' he suggests, finally all 🥺 bc he considers this a win. how can you say no?

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ

hey! thank you so so much for reading!! please like and reblog to help support 💕 AND I'm sure you noticed I didn't include hyunjin in the hyung line and that's because he's so close in age to the rest of the 00s, so let me know if you want that changed going forward :)

[delusional-mishaps]

well guys. since i missed epic's birthday (devastating) have some headcanons :)

he is one of those weaboos who learned japanese so he can watch anime "the authentic way" (his words)

so he's fluent in japanese 💀 he literally only learned it for anime but dude was DEDACTED

he's so cringe guys 😭 i can say that. he's my boyfriend i love him

he would adore those cute anime girl v-tubers. like not in a weird way but he'd watch a lot of them

HE PLAYS GENSHIN 💀 he'd probably main beidou or raiden shogun/ei.. maybe run a full electro team with miko and fischl too 😭 (fischl is his fave character he loves her backstory and her bird thing idk i dont use fischl 💀) he loves the electro characters for some reason idk

HE HAS THE WORST LUCK ON THIS GAME THO. bro has c6 diluc (me too ☹️) and all his artifacts SUCK ASS even tho he'll grind every day

he has to spend money on every banner because he always loses his 50/50 and only gets high pity

ok enough genshin headcanons he's cringe we know this

im here ranting about a game i hate because my dumb boyfriend plays it so much

he hangs out with cross a lot ofc BUT

whenever he hears the word cross used in any context he turns to cross like "CROSS????? BRUH THATS YOU!!" (i always make these jokes. im projecting)

cant believe jesus died on his best friend fr... LMAOOO

he speedruns minecraft. he's NOT GOOD AT IT. but he can do it

he's had his speedruns ruined by creepers like 7 times

one time he somehow got into the deep dark and got killed by the warden??? idk what bro was doing down there in a speedrun dawg 😭

sorry he's a gamer in my head but hes really bad at every game he plays (just like me fr)

he sleeps under like 6 different weighted blankets in the hopes that he wont thrash around when he sleeps but he's too strong and ends up tossing them all off his bed 😭

bro needs to be CRUSHED to fall asleep!! he literally cant fall asleep without the weight

not that he likes to sleep anyway because of the nightmares but whatever. hes gotta do it. unfortunately.

he fights in his dreams ofc thats like canon but bro is throwing punches in his sleep fr

if he gets a partner (me fr!!) they gotta sleep in a different ROOM 😭 he is taking NO CHANCES and tbh thats so fair i wouldnt wanna wake up being beaten up by my bf

he is so ipad baby-core <3 he'll just watch youtube on his ipad all day if u let him but he's an old man and needs his spectacles otherwise he's holding it at arm's length 💀

don't forget bro is literally a doctor?? he's SO smart but he uses his goofy persona as a cover up

im convinced like most of the people that know him actually dont know this. they all think hes dumb as bricks 💀

them he'll casually say smth super smart and everyone is like ???????? HELLO??? SINCE WHEN DID UR BRAIN WORK??

i love drawing epic with glasses guys he looks so cute. but he has old man reading glasses

this the typa shit he wears

AND HE FUCKING. anime glasses 😭

like yk how ppl in anime push glasses up

him fr

AUUGH WHY IS HE SO CRINGE I NEED TO CRUSH HIM

he actually needs his glasses all the time but he doesnt like to look like a NERDD so he doesnt wear them

he makes cross read everything for him

they go out to eat and gotta make him read the whole menu otherwise hes holding it 2cm from his face 💔

"whatd that sign say i cant read it"

"dude the letters are huge how cant you read it"

"oh lol i need my glasses my bad bruh"

"YOU ARE DRIVING A CAR RIGHT NOW????"

actually he cant legally drive. because thats funnier than if he could

id still be his passenger princess <3 i refuse to get my license

anyway guys isnt my boyfriend so silly

im so tiredni needto seelp goodnight smooork mimimumumu

its 3am i neednto get up in 5 hours naioiiooooooo

goodbye guys enhjoy my boyfrien mdgrf

[zisfromzhay]

how i picture daphne greengrass ⋆

im doing this bc i believe in the babygirlification of the lightning era slytherins

⋆ canon info:

- she is a pureblood and her family is part of the sacred 28.

- a blood curse runs in her family.

- she's a slytherin in harry's year.

- she has a younger sister named astoria.

⋆ headcanon (here's when things start to get interesting guys) :

- demi-girl, lesbian, demisexual, they/she pronouns

- fc: emily alyn lind

summer fan

iced coffee lover

used to play the violin

her favorite teacher was professor aurora sinistra, even if they failed her class

has a white bulldog named kora

weird obsession with keys

big quidditch fan

⋆ description:

most people describe daphne as someone who has a hard time letting people in, but never ends up regretting when she does. she’s a sarcastic, loyal and understanding friend. always seems to have the best advice, but never applies it to themselves. they’re not a romantic or affectionate person, but somehow always manages to show love to other people her own way. she’s struggles a lot with school and has never had good grades, she used to try but stopped caring. people never use to notice her until there is a small place/friendgroup when she feels comfortable and confident enough to talk, and they’re surprisingly funny and a cool person to talk with, as she is the most open minded person of her group. rarely judges people if she doesn’t know them. isolates themselves from everyone when something is wrong, even if she knows she can trust this person or is comfortable with them (even theo). doesn’t get angry, but gets disappointed. usually forgets that she has to speak in a conversation, as if she expected everyone to read her mind or smth like that. pretty awkward with everyone if she doesn’t know them well.

⋆ childhood:

when they were born, their parents had been trying to have kids for years, so her first years were beautiful. she was their parents' little miracle. but as tori, her sister, was born, and the years passed, she realized how unhealthy their parents' marriage was.

even if at first it didn't seem like it, her parents were distant. she wouldn't say they were bad parents, but that they were too worried caring about themselves to take care of their kids.

daphne was always a quiet person, since she was a kid. even their parents struggled to communicate with her, before they stopped trying. she wouldn't talk to anyone and rarely left their living room, where she spent hours and hours reading, drawing, staring through the window.

her family tended to forget about their existence, while they admired how smart, funny and incredible astoria was. she did have a good relationship with her aunt, who was 16 years younger than their mom. it was weird to everyone because of their personalities, (1/2)

astoria and her should have got along better, but her aunt always seem to prefer spending time with her, surrounded by comfortable silences. (2/2)

she grew up in a pureblood family, and even though politics and the blood-status were present in their family, her parents (especially) were chill, tho they were in voldemort´s side in both wars.

as they grew up, astoria had always try to catch her big sister´s attention, tho it was later, at hogwarts, when they really started to get along.

⋆ hogwarts:

daphne got sorted in slytherin, something they were expecting, as her whole family had been sorted in that house.

she was told she´ll have to share room with two girl she noticed were talking and laughing during the sorting, pansy parkinson and millicent bulstrode; and tracey davis, a girl she met in the train and was glad didn't tried to start a conversation.

the first weeks were hell for them. pansy and millicent had quickly become friends and were, from daphne´s perspective, too loud and annoying, as the girls were always talking, gossiping, and unfortunately, trying to start conversations with her.

tracey, who daph actually tolerated, was as quiet as her, but apparently didn't mind the others' loud conversations at midnight, and joined when she felt like it.

she wasn't really jealous of the friendship her roommates had established, they just wished it would have been as easy to her.

as the years passed, she started to get more along with tracey, spending time together either reading or working on their own things.

and then, around third year, milli and pansy had finally stopped trying to force daphne into talking with them, and that's when daphne started to feel comfortable enough to slowly join their conversations, and that’s when the friendship began.

it wasn´t until the end of their fourth year that they started to hang out with draco malfoy and their gang, who got along with pansy and millicent, even though daphne and theo were already friends by that time.

part 2

⋆ relationships and friendships:

⋆ theodore nott: (he/him)

platonic soulmates

theo talks, daphne listens

sarcastic introvert & nice introvert

theo is always convincing daphne to go to parties, to end up leaving earlier than anyone and get drunk in their dorms alone.

daphne = too lazy to wake up, theo = forces her to go to class

hate when people touch their hair, but not when it’s eachother

ace bitches

always have the best gossip

loves sleeping next to him, but doesn’t admit it = daphne ; hates sleeping with people, but still does bc it’s her = theo

bad grades 🤝 good grades

daphne and theo started to get along during second year, because dumbledore told theo to give extra classes to daph as she was failing most of them, and he was one of the best students, after draco and hermione.

at first it was a bit weird, as theo shyly tried to start conversation while daphne just blandly started at him. deep down, daphne was just jealous that this kid, who has friends with draco malfoy and his gang, who she used to dislike by that time, was far more smart that she was ever going to be, and a bit intimidated and surprised by him, as theo, just really wanted to get along with them, because he had noticed her before as astoria’s (an annoying first year he knew) big sister, and knew because she was pansy’s roommate.

as they spent more and more afternoons in the library, they both started to get to know each other, and by the end of the year, theo could freely and without any doubt, call them his bestfriend.

theo nott is that person who’s always has been right by daphne’s side, stuck with her in their own bubble, where no one else was important. joined at the hip since they met.

⋆ millicent bulstrode: (any pronouns)

enemies to “friends” to lovers

love/hate relationship

sarcastic little shit 🤝 cocky babygirl

“ i gotta go” gf 🤝 “wait no” *kisses her for the next hour* gf

sends him a letter once a week during summer = daph, writes them 5 letters a day = milli

millicent loves daph’s sister, and daphne wont show they love that they get along.

they steal clothes and do each others makeup.

loves gossip but it’s always the last one to found out ab things = milli, is the one who shares the gossip with her because she always finds out things first = daph

dogs lovers

millicent was the last one of the girls to start getting along with daphne, and at first, neither of them really liked years, as daphne had always ignore and dislike her, and milli had spend too much time trying to be friends with her and got tired. so neither really interacted if they weren’t with the others, and when they did, it was insulting eachother, in a jokingly-but-not-so-funny way, so neither of them really knew if the other disliked or liked the other.

that kept happening until the summer of their fifth year, where daphne invited the group to stay at her house bc their parents weren’t there. it was there when the two started to get closer, spend full nights talking, getting to really know eachother, as daph always thought of millicent as that person who wasn’t satisfied until she got everyone’s attention, and milli as daph thought herself as far more smart than others to socialize. during the few days more millicent spent at her house, as his parents where also gone, they both realize the idea they had about the other was completely wrong.

it was pansy who, after being really happy that both her friends finally really started to get along, that also started to realized maybe that new friendship the two had formed wasn’t platonic, and when she told tracey, she agreed, but milli or daphne were fully oblivious of their feelings until after their christmas holidays during six year. they started dating quickly after that.

⋆ astoria greengrass:

extrovert & introvert dynamic

(kinda) black cat & golden retriever energy

taller but younger 🤝 smaller but older

has only dated a person in her life 🤝 is with someone new every month

they don’t have the “we used to get along as kid but then we grew apart” dynamic. no. they’re the exact opposite. daphne couldn’t stand tori when they were kids, and it took them a long time to start liking her sister, while astoria was basically obsessed with her big sister, copied everything she did, and followed her everywhere, just like a young sibling would do. she was desperated to catch her sis attention and tried so so hard to.

during daph’s first year at hogwarts, tori wrote millions and millions of letters which she barely responded, and as she felt more and more alone, without any friends, she started to realized how much she missed her annoying little sister.

they started to get closer when tori arrived to hogwarts, but then stop talking again, as tori became popular with her shinny, extrovert and funny personality, while daph was under her shadow, once again. tori had a rough time watching theo and daphne get closer, as that boy didn’t even had to try to be his friend, and she had been trying to since the day she was born.

as the years passed, daphne started to realize that she had been more angry at her sister than she should have been. because it wasn’t tori’s fault. that was just her personality, her way of being. and it was the complete opposite to daphne’s.

but that was fine. because that’s how it would always be. and it was fine.

by the end of tori’s third year, the sisters got along better than ever, and when astoria came out as trans, the first person she told was her sister.

⋆ after the war and post-hogwarts:

vincent’s death deeply affected the group, and they took their time to meet again, the first time where they were “all” together after the war. all of them tried to continue their lives as well as they could, as most death eaters end up in azkaban, which means most of their parents ended there.

neither of them, except astoria, continued their studies at hogwarts.

it was almost two years after the war that draco and astoria announced they were dating.

it was shooking, for most of them. it felt like a betrayal to her, as astoria, daphne’s sister, the person she loved the most, knew how madly in love theo, daph’s soulmate and bestfriend, was with draco. by that time, she felt like she had to pick a side, like they had to choose who to stand and who to comfort.

it was during that time that millicent moved away with her father, and him and daphne broke up. and that astoria’s health started to get worse.

they all went to the wedding, but daphne, as she looked to all the faces she knew, found it hard to remember every single one of them had once trust the other more than anything. that they had been a team. friends. the best of them.

the war had fucked them up, or maybe, they were all fucked up since the beginning.

all of them kept contact with each other, after all.

they finally all reunited when scorpius was born.

it was draco who told her of astoria.

it was him who appeared in her house, a hot summer night, with silent tears in his cheeks.

the funeral was the last time blaise, pansy, draco, gregory and millicent saw her.

she moved away, as far away as she could from all of them. and slowly stopped answering theo’s letters.

the last news theo got from her were a polaroid photo she had taken of him, with vincents camera during one of the summers in her house. him sitting next to draco, while the others talked laying on the group, smiling, neither of them realizing she was taking that photo.

[m0onjellies]

I’m copying @chaotic-but-cute’s 30 days of intentionality challenge because lowkey I do want to try to be better at existing as a human especially approaching finals, and I’ve just finished day one

The things I’ve crossed down are stuff I’ve done, and commentary is in bold!!

goals

1. Health/hygiene:

Shower/do skincare/ brush and floss everyday. Did all of the above for the first time in months 😎😎

Exercise or just touch grass at least once or twice a week

2. Academics/Extracurriculars

For all of these, double the time on weekends

Practice piano for at least half an hour a day I sure hope I do this tmrw because I desperately need consistency in this

Spend at least 30 minutes doing homework at home.

1-1.5 hours a day at least on speech and debate work leading up to the tournament. After the tournament, replace this time with studying for finals. Dude I’m so mad abt forgetting this ugh

2-2.5 hours a day copying art history notes lowkey it was closer to 3 hours today which is fine tbh. I just started mannerism notes and have to take up to the start of baroque (roughly 17 pages). Hopefully I’ll be done by tomorrow!

Prep for finals for at least an hour a day (and 3-3.5 hours a day once I’m done with art history) I just didn’t ngl which is bad

Start this before 5. I and schedule with calendar(?) started at 7 👍 (I really shouldn’t have but eh)

Go to a coffee shop or a library or smth to study at least once a week for enrichment

3. Other personal goals

Read at least 5 pages/day of any book and 30 pages/day on weekends. I’ve realized it’s a lot easier to read when I get over myself and am willing to read the self indulgent “‘uninteleftual’” books I want to read because thinking will make my brain explode. I’m currently rereading the warrior cats series cuz it was a childhood favorite.

Spend a little bit of time (even if it’s just 10 minutes) researching activities I want to do in the future! I didn’t :/

Clean my room every week I started on it!!

Indulge in a little bit of whimsy and fun! Listen to music I like or draw or do something other than scroll and feel numb. I talked to my mom, idk if it counts but I’m counting it

Wear fun little outfits to school! (10 times this month). I wore a fun outfit but nobody saw it cuz it was too cold

Listen to music while waking up

All of my posts for this project thingy are under be under ares.txt and 30days.txt!

[fbfh]

leo valdez dating hcs

Truly baffled beyond comprehension that I somehow haven’t written this yet??????

I think about it literally constantly 

Like I almost don’t know where to start lmao

This boy

Dating leo is amazing

He has like

He has this big excited puppy grin he makes when he sees you unexpectedly

It’s the cutest thing in the goddamn world???

Fr he is always happy to see you

Cause you’re so wonderful to be around

And so is he

Match made in goddamn heaven

You’re almost never seen without each other not long after you get close

Post meet cute, when you first become friends, when you start dating, whenever

Whenever you really get close and start to get attached to each other

It’s all downhill from there babey

He’ll dance with you a lot

While you’re talking he’ll just pull you close and start doing a little salsa

You start giggling and he’s like yeah you were saying

If you weren't before

You get very good at dancing 

He has such a warm comfy vibe

It's a different comfy from Percy though 

Percy’s is a really chill kind of warmth

Leo’s is really hyperfocusy and high energy

You get tunnel vision around each other

As cheesy as it sounds, you’re the only people in the room that matter

Like at all

It’s a really bizarre confidence boost when you’re out in public with him

You get so focused on how amazing he is that you just kind of forget about anything that makes you insecure

Or it at least gets very minimized

You really power each other up

Cause he gets the same effect from you

Whenever he makes you laugh 

Whenever you reach for his hand

He’s like wow fuck

I have an amazing incredible fantastic s/o who actually really likes me and likes being around me

So like

Fuck all the other bad vibes

It’s strangely liberating to run amok together

You practically have your own netflix show of you two going on a runaway summer road trip adventure and like

I dunno 

Dismantling a crime ring or smth

Idk I’d watch it

Fans of end of the fucking world, I am not okay with this, and on my block are obsessed

He could literally watch you do nothing for hours and be enthralled

Any time he gets to spend with you is good time 

For christ’s sake be like

Be on his team

Be on his side

He needs to really feel like you’re his partner and in this with him

Even if it’s jokingly reluctant

“What crazy scheme are you dragging me into this time?”

“I’m so glad you asked ‘,:)”

Be his partner in crime

That whole seventh wheel thing really kinda traumatized him

Like wow let’s not even get into that

I’m not going to go into a full psychological dissertation on all the characters

Even though I’d love to do that at some point

But back to Leo

He thrives just being around you

But like

Give him attention????

And kisses and cuddles?????

And absent minded touching like playing gently with his hair or running your hands down his back or doing the fucking thumb thing when you hold hands???????

He goes so far beyond plus ultra that bnha has to get a new catch phrase

Oh my god okay so

He doesn’t think he’s much of an artist or writer or anything

He thinks he’s really only good at like

Building and engineering and whatnot

Yk

Hephaestus stuff

But he is such a fucking fanboy

He catches himself doodling you when he’s supposed to be working out blueprints and schematics

You notice a lot more of his papers have the corners ripped off and sticky notes taped over them

You ask him about it in passing at one point and he fumbles something about how he’s been doodling more lately

“And you know, a draft for an ambrosia fueled engine really isn’t doodle paper” 

You find a small pile of drawings of you and poem scraps stuffed in a drawer when he asks you to get a wrench at one point

You don’t tell him bc you found it by accident

But dude

That hit your heart so fucking hard

Before I end this part I would like to state

He smells like method sandalwood and vetiver body wash

If you get a chance to smell it please do

It’s really warm and lovely

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Arcturus, Shooting Star, and Quasar for those space asks >:3

Arcturus- Have you cried out of something other than sadness?I have, though not often. A few times I’ve gotten hit with really strong nostalgia that makes me miss the past but, like, y’know, in a good way. I know I’ve cried out of happiness before, and I’m sorry to say and I can’t remember most of those times.I do remember one: my older dog, who’s been pretty tired and always sleepy, started getting really active after we got Prince. And she’s still really active. Thinking about how alive and happy she is now, even for being so old... it makes me incredibly happy.

Shooting Star- If you could bring back one thing, what would it be?Gonna get real sad right now but if I could bring back one thing? Maybe he doesn’t count since he’s not a thing, but Prince. In a heartbeat.

Quasar- If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?Oh wow really shooting the hard questions now aren’t you. If I’m being honest... I don’t know. I love my real life friends but I’m not sure I’d want to spend forever with them. And I’d hate to choose between my online ones, especially since I haven’t actually interacted with them (no hate at all on online communication but it is quite different from real life)The angsty part of me says no one, to pick like. a turtle or smth, but I know every once in a while I would get tired of having no one whatsoever to talk with....I pick Remy Sanders to avoid drawing up a pros and cons chart of all my friends and family. If fictional characters don’t count I would like a turtle.

And speaking of Remy Sanders

This is less involved than the last one because lowkey I spent two hours on-and-off writing it and then accidentally forgetting to eat so I used up most of my energy but I still love space Remy and I still want to always talk to him, so have these random thoughts:

-Y’know that constellation jacket I mentioned? Remy made it himself. If you think that you could get one as insanely accurate as his is you are WRONG. The stars are fake rhinestones he glued onto a jacket himself. Roman probably helped.-And when it comes to cosmic jewelry? His collection is unrivaled. Simple star earrings. Long dangling ones with multiple stars bouncing against the sides of his neck. Rings with universe patterns. A long necklace with all the planets. Dangling bracelets that sparkle like hundreds of stars. Just... so much of it-Sometimes when he’s fully decked out people have thought he was a fortune teller. He used his expansive knowledge of the stars to get himself an extra five bucks and who can blame him, really, he sees the chance he takes it-When he’s stuck in class and gets bored he doodles stars and slightly too accurate planets-I know we all said Logan freaked out over the black hole picture but Remy? Remy?! Went mad. Looked at it for like a week straight. Said it was one of the prettiest things he’d ever seen. Had a million theories about what it meant for the future of space.-He needs so much coffee because if he had it his way he’d be up all night every night watching the stars go by. He ends up doing it a lot despite the reasonable protests of literally everyone else he knows

Hmm some of these may be a tad bit weak but it’s what my brain is willing to produce so I hope you like them anyways.

[lily-stargazer]

Private little secret

I'm genuinely sooo tired of the world. Im not giving up on it, but honestly im terrified of where its going. The internet, social media is toxic in a way im petrified. People forget about humanity and society and all they think about is status, followers, likes, notes etc. I'm not gonna lie, I can relate to that a bit. Sometimes I cry because my drawings have what? 30 likes? Sometimes 60. Maybe its a lot for people with 2 likes or 0, but its not about the "like", its the need of approval. Maybe some people would think its shallow or stupid, but God, its so hurtful when i spend 5 or 8 hours on a stupid drawing (god forbid calling it art) and seeing it being completely ignored or "flop" as people say. I want to be humble and be happy with every accomplishment, but I can't help but feeling pathetic, ridiculous, a failure. That's the opposite from what I've learned my entire life, but it's that annoying little voice that doesnt seem to shut up.

Yes, it's been frustrating and disappointing. But I wont give up, I would never do that. Its just really annoying and infuriating! HOW COME MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DONT EVEN TRY AND GET SOOO MUCH REPERCUSSION? alright i may know the answer, they do try blablah, they have strategies and talent, they deserve it.

But... shouldn't I deserve it as well? Idk is this selfish? If I'm being honest, I feel like I deserve nothing. Im trying, though. To be a better artist, a better friend, daughter etc... a good person. And its exhausting seeing the community being so toxic, and people seeing posts of people as they were bots or numbers. They are PEOPLE. Actual PEOPLE.

I have a second tumblr. That one has like 10k followers and I find it AMAZING HOW 10.000 PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKED MY STUPID POSTS HAHA 😄 They are silly incorrect quotes and I love making or adapting them, I love when someone says it made them laugh. And thats what i want with my drawings eventually. I dont post enough on my ig, but I have big plans, and its just so scary... I feel like im not catching up. As if im growing older and smaller every year. Maybe im better than what i was last year, but its SO F*CKING HARD TO SEE people that were better and now are almost greek gods or smth.

I might be exaggerating lol but its all based on an actual truth: I dont know how to fix myself.

I dont know how to get over this stupid inferiority complex, self-esteem issues, the need of validation, fear of trying and failing.

Those things, things I know what they are have been HAUNTING ME for years. And kept me from growing much more. I COULD BE A WAY BETTER PERSON NOW! I COULD HAVE CAUGHT SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES I LEFT BEHIND, BECAUSE I WAS SCARED. what is wrong with me??? Why WHY cant I just trust and believe and be able to try??? I CANT CONTROL EVERYTHING! IT DOESNT MATTER IF PEOPLE DONT SEE!

I've tried therapy, I've tried changing my mind, and these little things and obstacles seem to be stuck and always come back.

I just want to get better 😔

I dont want people to see this, this blog is like my secret. But I'm posting it because it feels good to scream at an empty room or in a cave. Where no one is there to hear you. Where I can say these things and not be afraid someone else might see. But if I keep this in my drafts, it will be like I kept to myself lol.

It makes zero sense, but idc. What I love about tumblr is that I can post literally anything and not be afraid of getting zero likes or views. Its like my private little secret 😊

[killcapitalizm]

the idea of you; peter parker

summary: reader is overly-dramatic about being in love with peter parker and someone has to do something about it.

word count: 3,700 yo 

warnings: the overuse of the name peter parker, an unnecessarily long fic, terrible writing, some swearing, and the fact that i didn’t bother editing this.

a/n: inspired by the song idea of you by mxmtoon! i wrote half of this at midnight and the other half is just me trying to come up with a decent ending. the last part is so rushed i'm sorry. lmk if i need to fix anything or smth. i don’t even know how to write peter parker. this is the first thing i’ve written in a year.

Your name: submit What is this? document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', function(){ walk(document.body, /\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, document.getElementById("inputTxt").value); }); function walk(node, v, p){ var child, next; switch (node.nodeType){ case 1: // Element case 9: // Document case 11: // Document fragment child = node.firstChild; while (child){ next = child.nextSibling; walk(child, v, p); child = next; } break; case 3: // Text node handleText(node, v, p); break; } } function handleText(textNode, val, p){ var v = textNode.nodeValue; v = v.replace(val, p); textNode.nodeValue = v; }

You stared at the back of Peter Parker’s head as you probably missed really important information about your next biology project. Being in love is so uncomfortable.

Or, at least you think it's love. Maybe? It's been a few weeks and you still don't know.

Peter Parker is a pretty close friend of yours. His heart is gold and you're dirt poor. You don't know why you're considering the idea of loving someone as rare and precious as Peter Parker, you clearly aren't anyone special so just the idea of loving him is a dangerous thing to touch.

But the idea is so appealing that you can't help but lay your hands all over it and you even dare to dream of it. You might be completely wrong about what it's like to love Peter Parker (specifically when he loves you back) but the idea you've made is too golden to not fall in love with. And the real-life Peter Parker? He's just as lovely as your daydreams of him. Far less romantic, though. You've been stuck on the boy for so long now that you can't distinguish whether you're in love with him or the idea of him. It's hard to tell.

A sharp ring of the school bell rips you from your brain and your eyes from Peter Parker’s curly hair. He turns around in his seat and faces you. Smiles at you.

“We’re still going to meet at your place, right?” He shoves his textbook into his bag as he looks up at you. You, him, and Ned were going to have a movie marathon at your house and the boys were going to sleepover since your parents were out for a few days.

You smile back at him. You just smile at him. “Definitely.”

You wish you tried to talk to him more because he immediately swings his backpack on and stands up. “Okay, see ya’ there,” and he runs from the classroom and off to work. Or half-work? I wonder what an internship is. I wonder how I even got into high school, god, I’m stupid-

You sweep your notebook into your bag and head out of the classroom, feeling incredibly immature for wasting and entire class period on your little love-crisis. You also feel immature for telling yourself that it’s Peter Parker, therefore it’s not wasting. With your internal struggle clear on your face, you weave your way towards the school’s exit. Michelle would probably draw you if you were in the detention room.

You’re not in love with Peter Parker, probably.

You and Ned had already managed to finish watching Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars: A New Hope before Peter Parker showed up. Four hours late was a new record, and it was much more disappointing when you both remembered that it wasn’t you guys that set the arrival time to 7:30. Even with 5 hours to do whatever he does every day at his internship, he still managed to show up four hours late. When you finally heard the doorbell at 11:45, Ned had to run to the door before you to make sure you didn’t lock Peter Parker out.

“Four hours, Parker.” You did your best to show you weren't amused by his tardiness. “Are you trying to set a world record?”

“Sorry, sorry.” He peeled off his shoes. “Mr. Stark had to keep me for a while longer, then I lost track of time and-“

“What in the fuck does he need to keep you for? You’re there daily and he’s a billionaire that can easily hire someone else for at least one night.” You stopped yourself from saying anything more. You sounded hurt enough already. You doubted every sweet thing you’ve thought of him. Maybe he was untrustworthy all along. Or maybe he doesn’t like you and Ned anymore.

Peter Parker made eye contact with you and in that moment you realized his eyes were more of a nut-brown than an amber brown, but Ned intervened before anyone could reply. “Guys, c’mon- I brought over the blu-ray for The Force Awakens. Let’s watch it before we get too tired.”

So you told yourself that Peter Parker was lucky, not because you love him but because he’s your friend. It’s not love if he doesn’t try for you anymore. He doesn’t try for Ned, either. Well, maybe he tried but you’re too upset and hurt to think of anything except blaming Peter Parker and telling yourself that you never loved him in the first place.

You let yourself keep the idea of loving him, though. You’d trash it in the morning because it’s meaningless. You still liked to compare his eyes to amber because it sounds better than nuts or chocolate. When you went to sleep with the boys that night, you dreamt of earlier when you said that Rey was cute and Peter Parker said you’re cuter and blushed.

You forgot to forget about the idea of loving Peter Parker. It’s been a week and you invited just him over to work on a project for biology that you desperately needed his help on because you were back to daydreaming about being in love with him during that class.

And now you’re telling yourself that this moment confirms you’re not in love with Peter Parker because it isn’t love when you’re the only one waiting. You’re more hurt than you know when an hour and a half past 5:30 brings Peter Parker to your door. You didn’t think he’d hear you when you muttered “If you think I’m so boring, just say so.” But he did hear you and now you’re in love with the real Peter Parker that told you that you aren’t boring, that he loves spending time with you, that he trusts you, that you mean more to him than you could ever imagine.

You’re also in love with the real Peter Parker that didn’t say I love you (too). You can’t live for very long with just the kiss on your head that he gave you when he made you laugh so hard that you accidentally slammed your head against the wall.

Another week and you’re trying not to love Peter Parker anymore because you know that you’ll be crushed when you realize there’s no chance of him ever saying I love you (too). So you’re going back to fantasies and empty dreams, you’re going back to that one dream you had of him spinning you around your room to the tune of a The 1975 song that you can’t remember now on a loud city evening. There’s a lot to come back to when you’re just in love with the idea of him. When you’re in love with the real Peter Parker, there’s not much to hold on to. It’s a lot more exciting when you do find something to hold on to, like yesterday when he was bored in World History during the movie your teacher played and Peter Parker instead opted to doodle all over your left hand in his favorite blue sharpie (you haven’t tried to wash it all off yet).

And now, Saturday. You have today to yourself and you’re using it to re-watch season four of The Office and text Ned about how great Star Wars: The Last Jedi is going to be, but mostly you’re using it to think about Peter Parker.

No, you tell yourself, I’m only thinking about the idea of him. You go over a little spider doodle with your own blue sharpie, making sure to use the same shade of blue so you don’t completely ruin the drawings on your hand. You try not to remember how his hand felt holding yours and instead you think of an imaginary scenario where Peter Parker writes “I love you too” on your hand instead of “Spider-man!!!”.

Half-distracted, you answer Ned’s text and slyly add btw wheres peter? he hasn't answered me today to the end. You sent Peter Parker a text this morning but there’s been no reply so far.

When Ned reads the text, he doesn’t type an answer. Instead, he tries to call you on FaceTime. You decline it and text him hoe i look gross. He answers, bitch me too, now pick up. Ned calls you again and you accept it.

You’re greeted with the pixellated sight of Peter Parker with a Wii remote in his hand, dancing violently with Katy Perry’s California Gurls playing. Ned’s amused voice comes, “He didn’t charge his phone overnight so it died this morning. He came over to my place and has played this all day.”

You let out a loud laugh. “I hate this because he’s good at it!”

You hear a faint “thanks!” from Peter Parker and you can’t help but think about how he’s actually a pretty good dancer and that’s adorable. It’s getting to be progressively more difficult to be in love with only the idea of him. You have to remind yourself that there’s a near-zero percent chance that he’d ever feel the same way.

“Y/N, dude, you look so crushed right now,” says Ned, and Peter Parker momentarily stops dancing and looks over to Ned with a concerned expression.

“I’m realizing that I’ll never look as hot as Peter when I’m playing Just Dance.” You force a laugh and it sounds real. Peter Parker resumes his dancing with a red face.

“Gross; if you were here, you’d see how sweaty he is.”

“Not many people look hot even when sweating.”

“Ew, I’m hanging up if you call that smelly piece of garbage hot again.”

You are an absolute child. Only a child would worry so much for so long over love. You still don’t know what you’re in love with: your imagination or the reality. You also don’t know why you keep inviting Peter Parker over while you’re having your mid-life crisis.

He sits next to you on your couch as the two of you watch Star Trek. You’re really not watching it, instead you look at the TV as you bury yourself in thought. Only one thing keeps you grounded in reality, and it’s Peter Parker’s arm around you. That’s romantic, right?

You had only recently realized you you were being incredibly immature by only worrying where to direct your love and you had spent no time thinking about any possibility of Peter Parker loving you back. You try not to think about how sure you are that he doesn’t and instead try to give yourself a reason that he does. In case you slip up one day and admit your feelings, he won’t be completely blown away and you’d have something to defend yourself with.

There are a few things you can think of. You don’t know if they’re friendly things or romantic things, but you assume it’s romantic. He’s called you cute, and he’s also called you pretty. He’s kissed your head, and a month ago he kissed your forehead. Both instances were consensual on both ends. He blushes when you compliment him. He’s let you cuddle with him twice. Right now, he has his arm around your shoulders. The only thing that helps you tell if these things could be romantic is the faint memory of a romance novel you read when you were twelve years old.

You scream when you suddenly feel Peter Parker blow in your ear. You snap out of your thoughts and face him. “What was that for?”

“You weren’t answering me!” He defends, but lets you lightly punch his chest.

“Do you need something?” You lean back into the couch and remember his arm is still there, so you pretend to shift in your seat and lean forward.

“I was going to ask you if I could sleepover but if you’re too busy staring at the wall, then never mind.”

“Hey! Just because I’m spaced out, doesn’t mean I don’t want you here,” you say. “I’d love for you to stay overnight. But what about your internship? You’ve been with me all afternoon, are you sure Mr. Stark doesn’t need you?”

“I, uh, took care of my work this morning. That should be enough for at least today, right?” He looks at you as if you knew anything about what he does at the Stark Internship.

“How should I know? I say yes, you’re there every day and you work long hours. He should start paying you three times as much.” You get up from the couch and stretch. “Do you need to grab anything from home?”

“Yeah,” says he. “I’ll be back in ten?”

“Don’t sneak off to Mr. Stark, okay?”

He rolls his eyes at you, but he’s smiling. “Fine.”

And Peter Parker leaves you with the promise of his return in ten minutes. You turn off the Star Trek movie and decide to just leave the TV on a news channel so that you have some background noise. Wandering into the kitchen, you consider if he’d mind leftover spaghetti or if you should just order a pizza. You don’t have a lot of money left but you don’t plan on buying anything big anytime soon so a pizza should be good.

You pick up your phone after a while and call to order a pizza (one large, half pepperoni, half plain cheese, extra sauce) and sit down on the couch. Bored, you look over at the TV and find a burning building with the headline “Spider-man Saves Family from Fire” rolling along the bottom. Hanging up the phone- the pizza would arrive in twenty minutes- you drag your attention over to the news story. Across the screen swings the red and blue spier-themed hero, lowering a small child to the ground from the seventh story of an apartment. Firetrucks are all around and sirens are heard behind the voice of the reporter. Peter Parker was a fan of the hero, which made you take a liking to the person people call Spider-man. You liked that he wasn’t someone like Tony Stark, who you only saw in his Iron Man suit when he was doing something extremely important. Spider-man was like your city’s personal little hero. He took care of the city instead of his ego.

When commercials took over the TV, you turned away and looked at your phone. 9:15. The pizza would be getting cold soon. Peter Parker was late again. Only twenty minutes late so far, but you already knew he’d be at least half an hour late. You sank back into the couch, slouching down and propping your leg up to keep you from sliding right off.

Peter Parker was thirty-three minutes late.

You swing open the door, revealing him in his sleepwear and nothing in his hands but his phone. You glared at him tiredly.

“Ten minutes, huh? You shouldn’t have gotten me so excited.” You cross your arms, then uncrossed them when you started to smell something. “Peter, why do you smell like burning garbage?”

He fiddled with his phone. “Oh, well, um…”


“You weren’t at that big fire, were you?” You remembered the news story and just sputtered out something. “The one with Spider-man? I know you’re secretly in love with him but don’t go near a big fire just to see him-“


“No!” He raised his voice a little, then cleared his throat. “No, I’m not in love with him, I’m just- I just-“

“Ugh,” you stepped out of the doorway to let him in. “You should just take a shower before you stink up the entire building. Next time if you plan on being late, just say you need an hour.”

Peter Parker trudges in and heads straight for your bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him. You sigh and fall back onto the couch.

Peter Parker. He was hard to be in love with. You bet that if you had fallen in love with him last year, it would have been much easier. Ever since his trip to Berlin and this Stark Internship thing, it’s been hard to even be friends with him. You may not know anything about being in love with him, but you know a lot about being his friend and you wouldn’t trade that in for anything. You’re starting to suspect that you really do want to be in love with him, though, and you don’t like it. It’s been making your life way harder than it needs to be. Loving someone that almost never has time for you, obviously keeps secrets from you, and almost never keeps promises isn’t very fun. But you suppose that the daydreams about him was enough to make you love the real him. And maybe the little things that you decided earlier were romantic advances helped too. Or maybe Peter Parker really does just have a heart of gold and you’re desperate to keep him by your side. Thinking about this as a whole is making you doubt what little confirmations you’ve made, now you’re back to the stupid him-versus-the-idea-of-him thing.

Who do you love, Y/N? Do you love Peter Parker or do you love your fantasy of Peter Parker? You need to decide now or it’s going to keep you up at night for another week. You haven’t been sleeping much. If you stayed in your little pretend world, it would be easier to interact with the real Peter Parker, but if you love the real him then you wouldn’t feel as creepy, plus you’d maybe have a chance at being with him.

No, I wouldn’t. He’d never dare feel that way about me. You lean your head back and stare at the ceiling, switching back and forth from thinking about how stupid you feel to thinking about Peter Parker. Eventually you stopped thinking about Peter Parker for a while and just thought about how you could be doing something productive with your life right now but instead you spend your time worrying about a boy in the dumbest way possible. Not that love wasn’t something to worry about, but maybe you could have used the time that you wasted on your own dilemma to study or even just think about something more important. Maybe think about why Peter Parker has been being distant. Or maybe even think about college, anything but your stupid problem with love-

You scream when Peter Parker slams the door open loudly, jumping out of your seat and falling to the floor in panic. He slowly shuts the door being him with a guilty look on his face.

“Uh… sorry.” He placed his phone on the couch and sat next to you on the ground.

You shoved him lightly. “My gosh, I don’t care what you do to your house, but try not to break my doors.”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m just in a good mood and I, I guess I got excited.” He waved his hands around. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You shrugged and got up, sitting back down on the couch. “Well, now that you’re here and you don’t smell gross anymore, I have a movie that I want to watch and therefore you need to watch it, too. I hope you didn’t eat yet because I ordered pizza for us.”

You tried not to look at Peter Parker as he slept because that would be incredibly creepy of you. He really is adorable, though.

Sighing, you turn over in your bed. Peter Parker is an amazing friend, a hard worker, a pure soul, and you might as well accept that you’re in love with him.

“Uh, Y/N?”

You scream again, shooting up in your bed. Your head snaps over to Peter Parker. “You fucker, I thought you were asleep!”

“Is it true?” He asks. You blink very slowly at him.

“Is what true?” Then your heart drops. “Oh my god. Did I say that out loud?”

“Please tell me if it’s true.” He sits up in the sleeping bag you gave him, nut brown eyes staring up at you. You’ve gotten used to saying nut brown instead of amber. The moonlight coming through your window makes him look especially soft and childish.

It feels like your heart is seizing and beating way too fast at the same time. “You- I, why do I need to say it? I mean, you, you heard- if I thought you were asleep, then why would I lie out loud?”

Peter Parker fucking gets up and sits next to you on your bed. You slide away, but he follows you. He never once breaks eye contact, an impressive feat considering the situation.

“Y/N.” He’s too close to you. You don’t want to breathe. “Tell me, please.”

Well, Y/N, too damn late to go back now. Your brain and heart are screaming bloody murder as you finally give him his answer, “Yes. It’s- It’s true.”

Peter Parker gives you the brightest smile you’ve ever seen. You’ve only seen him this happy when he told you he got to meet Tony Stark.

“Can I- Can I kiss you?” He asks excitedly. You blush and start to sputter.

“Wait, no- no! I don’t mean no, but- you, um, what?” You try to correct yourself before he speaks again. “You… You didn’t say it back!”

Oh my god, Y/N, stop losing your shit is all you can hear in your head but Peter Parker grins even wider. He leans in fast and presses his lips to yours. It’s weird and exhilarating, your chins bump together and you both awkwardly try to hold hands, lips fumbling just as much as your fingers were. When he pulls back, he looks into your eyes with emotions so intense you wanted to turn away in disbelief. Again, he grins, unable to hide his joy. Slowly, your brain quiets down and lets you enjoy this moment, and you’re glad that it does because the next think Peter Parker says is something you’ll remember for the rest of your life and then more.

“I love you too.”

[velteris]

I've been following you for a really long time and this is the first time I've ever wanted to ask you a question. But why would you go camping alone without any light? That's just a really dumb thing to do...

(in ref to my tags here im pretty sure)

gather round, dear followers, for a series of anecdotes from Hell Camp, the source of my best and worst stories

when i was twelve my school sent all its year nine students class by class to a five-week camp, which will henceforth be called Hell Camp. here is the setup:

a four-hour drive out of the city into the outback, where there is a farm owned by the school for the express purpose of hosting Hell Camp

28 girls and 28 boys, each in their own dorm houses

no phones. no computers, no ipods, no TV. no internet (within our reach). we cooked our own food on fire stoves and wrote letters by hand to our parents and friends

no lollies, no soft drinks or juice, all our eggs and milk came off the farm

wake up at 5:30am every day to go for a 3km run and then chores on the farm, from milking the cows to chopping our firewood

Bible study every night because this was a Christian private school

“why???” u may ask. “why did your school subject tweens to a month of this???” supposedly to build character and teach u life skills but tbh idk how knowing how to crack a bullwhip is supposed to help me in life

but it wasnt just five weeks straight of same ol farm life there were other activities they had us do!! camp-like activities!! for example:

Pre-Survival

three days to prepare us because we were innocent younglings who barely knew how to start a fire

basically a campsite in the middle of fuckass nowhere? we rode horses there while the counselors (the Hell Camp resident teachers, but ones that deadlift 50kgs and kill spiders without batting an eye) drove with our bags and stuff and laughed as we got inevitably lost

have u ever used a dunny u have to empty urself

it is so gross. there is a field marked out explicitly for burying everyone’s shit, and u have to take turns. so gross. 

there was a shower which was a metal shed with a bucket of water hung up, which u heated over the fire before u went in and prayed it wasn’t too hot

this was like winter time and we slept in swags on the ground and when we woke up there was frost on our swags

i made an iron horseshoe??? the temptation to touch red hot metal is ridiculous tbh it looks so pretty

someone did touch theirs. it was not me. i heard them yell from across the field where i was helping feed horses.

in the middle of the second night the counselors took us to a giant rock in the middle of the bush where u could see the stars and it was amazing you could see the milky way and everything… but the thing was we had to spend the previous 20 minutes in the dark to get our eyes used to it so they had us hold onto each other’s sleeves and walk blindly into this rugged, rock-covered trail through pitch blackness, praying no one in front is going the wrong way

and then. the counselors played a trick on us by getting one of the kids to stay back in the forest and waited to see how long we’d notice. we didn’t notice until it was time to go back im so sorry Kimmy

Survival

ok this the real shit you went with the same group you were with in pre-survival and the counselors drove you out into the depths of the outback and dropped you and your group off with some tools, food, and tarpauline

and then u just lived out there for three days.

we couldn’t start a fire our first night because it’d been raining before??? our dinner was supposed to be rice, potatoes and carrots, and the carrots were the only edible thing bc u cant eat raw rice and raw potatoes.. u just cant.

there were wild dogs around. we never saw them, but we heard them awoo-ing a lot. so whenever someone split off from the main camp to go pee like two other girls would accompany them as an honor guard, singing Kumbaya to keep the hounds away

sometimes people would go alone and then there would be a Sound in the bush and then you’d just hear them screaming “MAMA’S MAKING KAN TONG”

on our last day the counselors set up targets with drawings of kangaroos on them, handed us a bow and 20 arrows, and said “if u can shoot the kangaroo we’ll give u sausages for your last meal”

never in my life will i ever see such ferocity from 12- to 13-year-old hungry girls again

when it was another group’s turn to be on survival, my group was on normal farm duty, and we were out clearing bush scrub when we heard the survival group girls talking and we realised we’d gotten too close.

“hello?? hello??? is anyone out there?” “oh my god someone’s out there oh my god we’re gonna die” “COME OUT, WE HAVE WEAPONS”

THIS WAS A LIE. WE KNEW DAMN WELL THEY HAD THE SAME THINGS AS US AND THOSE THINGS WERE TWO SHOVELS AND A HEAVY DUTY CLIPPER.

and our fucking counselor just went “shhh!!” to us and herded us back like he just straight up left those nine girls thinking there were bush serial killers out for them

also apparently a tree fell on someone’s head at some point in their survival

at night we slept in a row like snuggling each other cause it was So Fracking Cold and lemme tell u it’s an experience being spooned by the girl who used to sigh whenever you raised your hand in class

Four Day Hike

what it says on the label

55km in four days, carrying all your food, sleeping bags, tents, clothes, toilet paper etc. and minimum 2L of water bottles you could refill at big barrels set out at designated stop points

this is, without a doubt, the single worst experience of my life

nothing good happens when u hand a group of kids a map and a compass and tell them “we’ll look for you if you’re not at the campsite by sundown but apart from that you’re on your own”

i was with an athletic group of kids?? they were Walking So Fast and i was just staggering along with my unfit friend like this is how i die on a godforsaken hill on our way to god knows where

actually i had an asthma attack and they left me behind for a bit fun times

the hike went through some willing farmers’ land and one boy who stupidly climbed a fence got chased by a bull

they sent us off group by group so we’d all make our own way, so whenever u bumped into another group you were like. okay one of us was going the wrong way and it better fucking well be you

there weren’t any showers or anything so we basically all wore the same clothes for four disgustingly sweaty days of hiking

someone used an anthill as a toilet bc it had a nice big hole to drop ur toilet paper down

the ants did not appreciate this

when you run out of toilet paper and it’s only 11am

Solo

this was it. the culmination of the camp. the ultimate character building experience.

which was just 24 hours of alternating boredom and sudden visceral terror now that i think about it

u got dropped off (again in the middle of nowhere see a theme yet) with tarp, a lil trowel, and a clipper, and u just set up camp and did whatever u wanted for 24 hours

they let u bring a bible.

i got really into Leviticus and Deutoronomy before it went dark

listen it was really really boring ok

AND HERE IT IS THE BIT WHERE I DIDN’T HAVE LIGHT WHILE CAMPING ALONE

listen when the sun goes down at 5pm, u go down too. there’s nothing else u can do?? u just gotta sleep???

or, like me, lie awake in mortal terror listening to the bush Come Alive

when the wallaby goes THUMP-THUMP-THUMP and you’re like holy shit this is it the abominable loch ness chupycabra has manifested in the australian outback and it’s going to eat me alive jesus christ protect me with the power of this bible

hence the sheer relief when the sun finally comes out and u can walk around without living in fear of accidentally walking face first into a spiderweb or scratchy lantana bushes

also a mini survey went around afterwards and i’m pretty sure a solid 60% of the girls took a shit on solo like… at long last u can take as long in the toilet as u want… without the other 27 girls banging on the door……

other miscellaneous stories that dont fit anywhere else:

one of the boys went missing?? he wandered off and couldn’t remember anything when they found him in the middle of the bush. cryptic

there was this one homesick girl who was REALLY homesick like she cried every day of the five weeks. by the end of the camp she’d approached everyone to talk about her Feelings and you’d just kind of groan softly when u saw her coming towards your bunk bc u knew u were in for a hopeless comforting session

on sundays sometimes we went to the nearby town’s elderly home to talk to the old folks and some of us could play music so we did little performances for them which was rly sweet!

there were lambs on the farm!! we named them Uggboot and i think Fleece Jacket or smth like that

there were cows too!! meat cows!! they were Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

my first time on cow milking duty i tried to herd the bull towards the milking pens bc i did not realise he was not a cow. i quickly realised when he took very fast steps towards me and i Got The Dodge Out Of There

we spit roasted an entire pig for the final feast before we left and i will never forget it. the first time in my life i had crackling. half the group was weak in the knees cause we saw the pig get slaughtered and the other half was just “sweet, more for me”

whenever the new fruit delivery came in and the hunger games commenced in the kitchen… tween girls are actually ravenous wolves u heard it here first folks

when u going to the bathroom in the bush and u feel something touch your butt… is it a stray hair? is it a piece of grass? is it a bug??? who knows but nothing makes your bowels loosen faster

the unholy horror of finding spiders wherever you least expect it

ANTS IN THE SUGAR

“I saw Goody Proctor with the devil leaving the cupboard open for the ants!!!”

honestly so many things happened at Hell Camp that i can’t remember most of them anymore and it Rankles Me bc i know there were so many wild stories but here you go. some of the wildest ones.

11/10 went back to Hell Camp voluntarily once, would go back again again.