#(there wasn't a good one for mandarin i could find) (then i tried to make one)

[rongzhi]

Hey i just wanted to ask something about Chinese language (not sure which dialect/language you use/are familiar with)—do you use terms or are there terms for family members based on birth order? Specific terms for "second eldest brother", or "third uncle on mom's side" or "fourth aunt on dad's side"?

In my family, the Hokkien we use has terms like that. I tried looking it up for etymology reasons but it seems other Chinese dialects/languages don't have it, and I was wondering if those terms came from another culture (we're SEA diaspora) or if it's something that had been preserved from older Chinese languages.

Yes, in mandarin, there are pretty specific terms for family members just like in Hokkien I suppose. My understanding is that Hokkien and some other dialects are descended from Old Chinese, so I suppose it would make sense that a lot of family terms would have already been set, and that's why we all have such specific terminology.

For Mandarin, using your examples:

second oldest brother ... 二哥

Third uncle on mom's side ... 三舅

fourth aunt on dad's side ... it would depend on if the aunt is the dad's fourth older or younger sister and where in that lineup she is. 姑姑/姑妈/姑母/嫲嫲/嬷嬷 (regional variances) would be his older sister and 姑姐/姑姑 (regional variances) would be his younger sister.

There are regional variances, but you can go pretty far out with this stuff, e.g, paternal grandfather's older brother is 伯公, or 外曾外祖母 is your maternal grandmother's mother. If there are multiple of something, you just count them off by number with the oldest being 大-whatever (e.g, 大姑妈 = oldest of your dad's older sisters) and the youngest being 小 （e.g, 小姨 = mom's youngest sister)

All your maternal cousins are 表 and all your paternal cousins are 堂. Your maternal ancestors are 外/曾外, and your paternal ancestors are 祖/曾祖. For great-great-grandwhatevers you stick a 高 in there. E.g: 高祖母 would be your great-great-grandmother (on your dad's side). Your grand-descendants are all 孙-something or other, e.g, 侄孙 (grandnephew).

you can find some terms here. there are a lot of regional variances in terminology, though, and there are varying levels of formality. a lot of people might not even have some of these relatives so there's no need to remember all of them.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Do you hc America to speak other languages or is he a fully English bimbo? To my knowledge, NASA requires Russian fluency, I don't think many other US-government level agencies require another language but I could be wrong. I know Spanish translations of official documents are increasingly accessible but English is still the de facto language.

What I will say is that the notion that Alfred, as a superpower in the modern age, does not speaks several languages is absurd to me.

The languages i hc him to know, besides English, are:

Spanish - first and foremost. Though Alfred does have more of a Mexican dialect when speaking Spanish, which slightly annoys Antonio. As it should.

German - very good at it! Gets the accent almost perfect. For Alfred, German was one of those easier languages he learned. With most nations, Alfred speaks English. And not really because he doesn't want to or try to speak their language, but mostly because it's rare that other nations expect this dude to speak their native languages. Not with Gil tho! Their conversations are full of German-centric memes. Alfred is a big fan of Mitten im Leben. Unapologetically so! He knows enough German to understand the shitty acting in the show.

Mandarin - this on is very straight forward, it's good business. He uses it too much for diplomatic purposes to find joy and interest in speaking it. Sad really, as its a fascinating language.

Russian - also very straightforward, he works at NASA for commissions and contracts and its very common to speak it. Even besides that, the Cold War required it as well. His Spotify playlists are full of post communist songs of Russian, Polish, Yugoslav origins but he'll die before show it to anyone.

Japanese - He stutters and takes his time when speaking Japanese. He learned it but rarely uses it nowadays.

Korean - man, he tries. It's a relatively new language under Alfreds belt. But his problem is that he sounds very flat when speaking Korean. Nowadays he uses it more than Japanese though!

French - oh this is a very fun one for me to get into. Contrary to popular headcanoning, I hc him to struggle with it. He does understand most of verbal French, but as a child he started learning it and at that point he wasn't really all that interested in other languages. He had other shit keep his focus. So, while he did hear a large amount of it growing up, he had few attempts to speak it himself. Even during the American revolution, when he made his way across the pond to woo his french patrons, he was mostly spoken to in English. In their minds he was not very cultured. A mixed race country bumpkin putting his big boy pants on for the first time. As annoying that was for Alfred, he had other shit to worry about. And Matt rarely spoke French when living with Al and Arthur so there wasn't really an opportunity there for Alfred. This is one language that he is constantly passively learning, which is hilarious bc it's one of the first ones he should have known lol. I get that this is a very niche hc and makes little sense but i find joy in it. And also in François' frustration.

Plus a limited knowledge of other languages. Alfred is trying to make time to learn more languages, but finding time for it is a challenge.

I'll expand on Alfreds knowledge of both specific classifications of Algonquian and Iroquois languages in a later post.

All that said, Alfred is, in heart and soul, an "English bimbo" 🙏

[happysadyoyo]

"How much of you is metal?"

"Are you a cyborg?"

"No, they're obviously like Mr. Sun!"

You had. Made a mistake. Came to the daycare an hour before close to see the attendant and got jostled by a parent running after their escaping toddler. The x-rays... Well, maybe it shouldn't be a surprise that at least one kid would know what metal looks like in an X-ray.

Sun is trying to redirect the children, but you're surrounded.

It took a little effort, but you finally manage to roll the heavy sleeves of your coveralls up, showing the thick ugly scars left from some of your surgeries. To your surprise, no one looks disgusted. And no one tries to touch them. There are questions, lots of questions.

"Did you get beaten up?" Head shake. "Can you talk?" Shrug. "Did you parachute out of a falling helicopter?" Something about your silence prompts the kids to speculate on more and more elaborate scenarios, all while you slowly sit to be more level with them.

To your surprise, a toddler walks up to you and hands you her Roxy doll. You blink and hold it loosely, using your thumb to push back the felt hair to see the bulging plastic eyes. One's been chewed on, a dog probably. The bite marks didn't look particularly human. When you look up, you manage a smile and notice that she has a scar too, on her cheek.

Oh.

You don't move until the last of the kids have gone home. Only about half of that is because you physically can't. Sun seems to realize that too, all but running over the moment the big doors close for the last time.

"I'm so dreadfully sorry Sunshine. I hadn't expected you to be over so early or else I would've been more aware. But Tommy just had to go find Chica..." Even as he speaks, he's helping you, hands curling around your chest and lifting you until you can safely straighten out your legs and stand. Even then, his hands linger, waiting until you pat one to pull away.

Once you can face him, you start to sign, hands a little shaky from all the attention. I finished early. Did not

You frown, not knowing how to say what you wanted without finger spelling.

"It's all right. So long as you're okay?" The way Sun's rays angle forward questioningly makes you want to smile again. You don't, but the feeling is there.

Instead, you nod and Sun hands you the folder with your X-rays safely contained again, and you walk over to the security desk to sit as was your habit now. You could sit and let the aches and pains of the day fade away for a couple hours, and Sun would teach you how to speak ASL. Because he is fluent. Because of course he is. He knows Mandarin too, but you decided together to tackle that later.

You scoot forward in the chair, pausing when you realize your sleeves are still rolled up. You almost never look at your skin, spending most of your time bundled up, so staring at it now is almost like looking at the arms of a stranger. You flex your wrist, watching the uneven skin move.

You roll your sleeves back down and check that your neck is still covered. Good.

If Sunny noticed anything was off, he didn't say, instead leaning down so he can prop his elbows on the upper part of the desk. "I didn't truly expect you to bring your pictures. I was only teasing since you get to see our insides all the time."

I want to. It was one of the first things you had him teach you to say. And it was, is true, if only because you felt you have to explain. You. Your body, why you don't talk anymore, why you're not good enough anymore. You open the folder, and the answers to all of that sit before you, the metal pinning your body together white against even against bone.

You don't look, not really, instead handing the pictures, neatly labelled with your name and body part, over, one by one. A hand, a foot. The side of your skull. There wasn't some part of you that hadn't needed stitching together, a skin graft there, a donated piece of liver from a sibling here. And staples, pins, and plates to force your bones to heal straight, to hide where part of your skull seemed to have disappeared, letting you function as you do. Slowly, painfully, here.

Sun isn't saying anything, though he does take each page as quickly as you pass it over. You watch for any tells, a flicker of his rays, the sound of his fan speeding up as he processes. But there's nothing, no tell, and did he already know? Was all this in a file he had access to and

"Oh Sunshine." It's the last x-ray, the back of your head, where the plate sits visibly off to one side. If you touch behind your ear hard enough, you swear you can feel the metal. "What happened to you?"

You don't really know how to respond. Your hands twitch, but you're not able to sign. You don't have the right words. So you dig for a notepoad and pen, writing carefully.

And oh, it hurts to see how much your handwriting changed since before.

It's a short story. I got in a car accident. Almost died. They pieced me back together. You shove the note to Sun to read, then keep going. I might have almost as much metal as you do at this point.

Sun is being hard to read still, though his rays have pulled back into his face, leaving tiny little points all around. His head is bowed, showing he's looking at the note still, but there's no way he's still reading. You stand, pulling at his faceplate, forcing him to look up.

"Ah, sorry. I was getting lost in thought. Can you come out from behind the desk?"

You are suspicious of that. Sunny, he almost never asked you to do something without some sort of explanation if it wasn't inherent in the request itself. But it's also Sun, and he hasn't hurt you. So you oblige, standing a fair few feet away.

Sun, for his part, sits cross-legged, holding a hand out to you. "It's okay. You trust us, right?"

You step forward, taking his hand, letting him lead you until you're standing with his legs crossed around you. You're taller this way, taller than even his uppermost ray, but you still feel small.

Sun's hand remains in yours, but his other is moving, touching the collar of your coveralls. "Can I?" You hesitate. "Only if you're comfortable."

You're not, not entirely. But you nod anyway, trying not to flinch when he finds the topmost button. It snaps loose easily. It's. Cheap. The coveralls are cheap. It shouldn't be a surprise, but your heart is racing too much for you to care.

You're wearing a thin t-shirt under the coveralls, nothing that can hide the scar from getting intubated. You let go of Sun's hand to hide your throat. "It's okay Sunshine. Come sit down. We'll take a break."

You nod quickly, and Sun helps you into his lap. Wrapping you in his arms. "Does this hurt?" You shake your head. "Good. Tell me if it does.'

You just sit there, leaning against Sun's torso, listening to the mechanics you kinda sorta understand now. Very kind of. You are a little more, uh, hyperaware of Sun's hand in your hair now. Tracing through it, finding the raised scar at the back of your head.

"A-ah." The noise you make isn't really a word so much as a panicked expectation. But his touch his delicate, almost ticklish. There's no pain, especially when he pulls away.

"Did that hurt?" You shake your head and look up, brow furrowed ever so slightly. "We're just... curious. You were pieced back together so carefully. We've never met someone like you before."

Carefully? You shake your head a little.

"No?" You reach out, and he takes your hand again. "No to us meeting someone like you?" Head shake. "Being pieced back together carefully." A nod. "I see. That would explain the scars on your arms?" You nod again, squeezing his hand. "We have scars too. Not everything can be buffed out."

He pulls at one of the ribbons tied around his wrists, the bells slipping free and rolling away. Hidden away is a soldering seam, as heavy and uneven as your own scars. You touch it lightly, then look up at him again. "It was an accident when we were still in the theater. The mechanic thought it would be a good idea to take the whole hand off when he lost a screwdriver." When you start to pull away, unsure, he shakes his head. "No, it's okay. It doesn't hurt. It's old anyway. We just don't heal like humans do."

You shrug out of your coveralls, tying the sleeves around your waist. Oh, mistake, mistake; it's freezing. You shiver even as Sun pulls a blanket (where did he get a blanket?) around you. "There you go. I don't think we've ever seen you not bundled up before."

There's a bump at the top of your forehead, and you blink at seeing how close Sun is now. You bump back. "Are you in pain very often?"

Oh. You grimace before nodding. "Is it from the metal?"

You're not sure how to answer that. You make a writing motion, and Sun can reach the paper he'd left up on the desk, letting you write using the back of his hand as a table. I wish that they hadn't put me back together like this. Every day hurts. And every day it feels like I've missed what I'm supposed to be doing.

"Oh Sunshine." He'd been reading over your shoulder. "I'm sorry you're in pain. It's always scary when something hurts, and it's not easy to forget when it's there all the time, is it?" You're staring down at the stripes in his pants, so you miss him moving his hand until it's cupping your cheek. "But, selfish as it is, I am very glad you're here. And for what it's worth, I don't think you've missed your potential at all."

The conversation feels incomplete, and even with the blanket, you're still cold thinking about the past, you shattered future. But Sun's filling your vision, pressing his face to yours, and you reach up to hold his rays, feeling them flex in your hands, the thick rubber malleable in your grip.

His hands find your wrists, and he holds you and it's now when you realize that you've fallen for an animatronic and honestly...

That's not such a bad thing at all.

-------

@pillowspace

this took a very abrupt turn from when I started it at work but I had to force myself to stop writing lest I end up making an entire novel just for this bit alone.

I don't know if I should tw this

[pbandjesse]

I did not feel amazing today. I think I just pushed myself to hard. Between the party last night and my class today. I am not having the best time. But it wasn't a totally terrible day. Honestly it was mostly great. Even if I felt bad.

We got home last night and I showered and got cozy and was able to sleep pretty easy. I appreciate James letting me keep the fans going because I find it so hard to fall back asleep if the room is silent.

It also cooled off overnight. I woke up at 4 to use the bathroom and it was pretty chilly! It was nice.

James left for work. I don't really remember it. But when I woke up at 9 I saw the alert on my phone that they had gotten to work safely and that's all I needed to know.

I would take my time getting ready. I was not doing things in my normal order and that is always hard on me because then I get confused. But I got cleaned up and brushed my teeth and put on a sweatshirt. I wouldn't get actually dressed for a bit. Instead I brushed my teeth and walked around the apartment. And then changed our sheets. Made the bed very cozy with our fuzzy bedding. Tried to make it really nice.

Which I desperately wanted to crawl into but I wanted to accomplish some stuff. I went and had some cereal which gave me some energy. And I would have a soda and really want able to cost through the rest of the day.

Well at least through my class. For the next couple hours I would work on laying out the scrap blanket. I vacuumed the fluffies I got everywhere. I had some emails to answer. Including a message from Auni showing me that the bear she bought from me has already gone on a bunch of adventures with her son's and I was so happy it was so sweet.

I vacuumed the frog tank. But at 11 I was absolutely exhausted. I actually considered sleeping for an hour but I feared I would be even more groggy so I had another soda and tried to hold it together.

I decided to leave early and go get french fries. Which are stupid expensive now. Someone explain to me why it got $5.10 for fries and a single ranch dressing?? Absolutely insane.

And like they were fine. I went through the drive through. And then parked by awah. I ate them and they were fine. Could have eleven crispier. But it's fine.

I felt s little better. I have a little baby pathetic cough. But a few times this afternoon I felt breathless and had to sit down. So that's fun. I was going through it.

I got myself set up and was not thrilled with the project assigned. It was just. To boring? Trace some cardboard ravens, color in those ravens. Boring. So I decided to jazz it up and we made backgrounds and collaged the birds on that. And it worked so well!

Once people started coming I could tell this was the correct choice. Everyone seemed to really have fun. It was fun.

Zoe came first, then Mary Ellen and Naomi. And soon we had a second volunteer, Phia. Who was great. I just had her sit with some specific students and she ended up being really great. She even spoke Mandarin! So that was really cool.

I did have a few weird moments though. At one point I was walking over to give someone paper and I got a terrible pain in my stomach. To the point where I was crouched on the ground holding my knees. Which made everyone very concerned. Then towards the end of the class I got a crazy buzz in my ear that made me pause and hold my hands over my ears and I am sure I was making everyone freaked out. But when I wasn't in the fritz, I tried to be 100% on and everyone was taken care of. And it was good. For the most part things were good.

At the end of the class Andrew and his dad came to say goodbye because I won't be there next week and they won't for the final week. I invited them to see about coming to my classes with creative alliance. I hope they do!

We cleaned up and got eveything ready to go. I showed Naomi how to turn on the alarm because she'll be doing it next week. I accidentally took the totebag with me and didn't notice until we were up the hill so I gave it to her so she could return it next week. Oops. Not a huge deal.

I went home and was pretty exhausted. I drove through the neighborhood to see the leaves all changed. It was a really pretty fall day. I was happy to be going home. My weekend starts Sunday at 3pm.

I got home and would change back into cozy shirt. Not that I wasn't already wearing something cozy. But still. I sorted the laundry to be helpful to James. And got in bed.

I thought about sleeping. I did not sleep. I did read for a bit which was really nice. And very soon James was home.

I was feeling really bad at this point though. Just exhausted and eveything hurt. I wasn't in a great place. James tried to make me feel better. And eventually let me be alone to read. And they would do laundry and then make spaghetti. Which did make me feel a little better.

I took a long bath and used oils and washed my hair and that felt good. I had a hot towel over my face and it helped my congestion in my chest. And while I still don't feel amazing I do feel a little better.

James tried to make me a thickened got chocolate. I normally don't love hot drinks. And I still didn't love the taste, but the inside warmth was nice.

Now we are just doing a bit of parallel play. They are working on their computer while I am working on my phone. Sweetp is here and being mostly cuddly and only attacking me a little.

I am looking forward to sleep. I am going to go hug my husband now. Goodnight everyone. I hope you have a good day tomorrow!!

[dank-meme-legend]

Simple Mistakes & Simple Touches

Word Count: 1,405

(I told my buddy @turniptitaness about an idea/AU where River tutors Payton in American Sign Language as opposed to Mandarin. So, here that sweet, sweet Hobarkley goodness is!)

————————————————————————

Payton feels good about his choice of American Sign Language as his foreign language credit.

So far, it's helped him get a head-start in getting his agenda out to the entire student body. It's helping him to set his place as an inclusive candidate.

A candidate who's more likely to win during next year's race for student body president, even if it's premature right now.

Though, his tutor, River, makes him want to change to something else entirely, so he doesn't have to spend time alone with him.

His tutoring sessions with River are never just tutoring, Payton learns that very quickly.

It started with the first lesson, where Payton’s hands had shaken with a new type of anxiety inside of him, meaning he had to repeat himself over and over again to get his signing right.

He wasn't anxious around many people, no one ever intimidated him.

Payton intimidated others, filling up a room with his presence.

But River, a smooth, deep voice and a friendly face, being honest and able to show vulnerability in every way that Payton cannot... it intimidated him a whole hell of a lot.

Next to River, Payton felt small.

Emotionally and metaphorically, but also literally when he had to sit so close to him.

Their first lesson was bad enough, with Payton feeling so small next to him on the bench at the foot of his bed.

He also felt so safe at the same time, which confused him from the get-go.

Small and safe.

But then, it only got worse when River reached over to turn Payton's hand around the right way, a simple mistake that Payton would initially regret, but come to find gratitude in as time went on.

A simple mistake that resulted in a simple touch, River's hand against his.

A touch that means nothing, a touch that any other tutor would've provided.

But Payton couldn't shake the feeling that hit him, sinking in his heart, like an anchor to a chain on a boat.

Keeping the boat steady, but also rigid and unable to move.

River could see something change, Payton's confident, room-filling presence deflating.

"Why are you so tense?" He had asked.

No one had ever asked that question, no one could see the tension he carries with him, the stress and strain he masks as drive and ambition.

Payton was taken aback, meekly asking in return,

"How do you know I'm tense?"

River just knows, he has barely had a full conversation with Payton before now, but he can read him like a book.

He also has observed, in what he says next, that Payton doesn't seem very happy.

Payton tries to be happy, he has a lot to be grateful for, a lot of privilege to his name, the best team he could've ever asked for and the most wonderful lady on his arm.

But he can't act like he pulls all-nighters for the campaign alone.

Sure, he gets a lot of work done when the house is quiet and the world is at rest, but he also can't be faced with his demons and self-doubting, self-loathing thoughts if he's wide awake, typing away on his laptop or scribbling down ideas in a notebook.

He desperately tries to be happy, so does River.

It's hard for both of them, painful for both of them.

Their pain bonds them and being confronted with it makes Payton cry.

He never cries if he can help it, but now, he can't.

He's helpless to all of this vulnerability, blinking hard and brushing away his tears.

River, almost cautiously, brushes a tear away.

Another soft touch that makes Payton's cold heart ache.

Maybe it's what he needed, to feel vulnerable like this.

River seems to think so.

It begs the question, what does River need?

Payton asks him directly and he's met with a sentence that he's never seen before. Words in ASL he has seen before, but when they're strung together by River, it's a sentence that he dumbly has to squint at.

But he figures it out quickly, River is asking if he can kiss him.

Payton is nodding before his mind can protest anything, before he can figure out every reason why he shouldn't be doing this.

River's hand is on his cheek, Payton thinks he could cry enough tears to fix a drought somewhere in the world because of that.

He feels sickness in his stomach, cruel emptiness when River ends their kiss and let's go of his cheek.

River brushes another tear away and thinks of brushing away another one after it, but he doesn't.

He stops himself while he's ahead and stands up to walk out of the room, leaving Payton with,

"See you next time."

Next time.

Payton stays on the bench at the foot of his bed for a while, thinking while his mind is blank.

Next time comes around fast, too fast yet not fast enough.

The same time the following week.

Payton feels that sickness in his stomach, though it isn't emptiness, it's butterflies.

Stupid little fluttering butterflies, excitement to see River.

He pays these butterflies no mind and goes on with his lesson.

Maybe it's for the sake of improving quicker, or to impress River, though he of course won't admit it, Payton has had his eyes in his ASL textbook everyday for the past week, teaching himself words that will help him in particular.

Words regarding to politics, so he can ramble about his dream without having to say word if he wants to.

When the time comes to begin and Payton shows him what he's learned on his own, River is impressed, whether it is Payton's intention or not.

Impressed and proud.

He lets Payton explain his plans for the world, having to help him every few minutes.

It's little mistakes that Payton is making, little moments where River's hand touches his.

He doesn't know if he wants to get better to make no mistakes or regress to make every mistake.

River had a lesson in mind, a way he wanted their conversation to go according to his textbook, but his heart is full of too much pride to stop Payton from going on and on.

Having River look at him so adoringly, so proudly, praising him for his quick learning makes Payton bashfully proud of himself.

He takes a break, ending his rambling for now and River's heart is full of love.

It's no question that he feels something for Payton, that's what their first kiss was for.

River being drawn to Payton and his vulnerability, being real and expressing pain, even though it's incredibly hard for him.

River wants to kiss Payton again and when he asks the same way as the first time, Payton nods again, though this time, he's sure of himself.

He's been praised before, countless times, but hearing it from River does something so beautiful to his sinking heart.

For a fleeting moment, Payton's heart is lifted in his chest, floating up when River's hand touches his cheek again.

River, same as last time, let's Payton go, or he at least attempts to.

Payton doesn't let him, pulling him back in, because he doesn't want his heart to sink back down into the depths of him, where all those butterflies live.

Those butterflies that scare him, but do not matter right now.

They flutter around, going back and forth in his stomach.

When Payton finally does let him go, River looks dizzy, stunned and smiling.

Their tutoring sessions stay on track ninety-five- alright, eighty-five- seventy-five percent of the time.

The other twenty-five percent gets derailed quickly, with Payton using his knowledge to ask River, "Please" and later, minutes or hours later, to tell him, "Thank you".

Their pain bonds them, but they'll both be damned if their love doesn't bond them, too.

Their strong connection, an innate understanding of one another.

It's a beautiful thing, a truly beautiful thing.

Payton never becomes fluent in ASL, but he becomes better than where he started, shaking and nervous.

He can hold a basic conversation, with the help of River, even when he actually doesn't need help.

River does catch onto that, Payton making mistakes on purpose.

He finds it humorous, sweet, even.

With every mistake and the soft touch that follows, River is there to help Payton, always.

[messedupfan]

I'm With You (Female Reader) Chapter 4

Summary: Tony is in trouble and Y/n plans to go against Fury's orders to help him.

A/N: This is my flop era

Masterlist | Taglist | All Chapters

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They had her working a lot and always teamed up with Steve and Natasha going on regular S.H.I.E.L.D. missions to shut down operations that posed a threat. On her off days, she would help Tony design new Mark prototypes. She was concerned about his health considering that he didn't seem like he had been getting much sleep but instead of pressing him on the issue, she just tried to be there for him in any way that she could be. She couldn’t fully process what happened that day and she could only imagine what he had been going through.

Pepper and Y/n would compare notes on what Tony tells either of them because they both knew they weren't getting the full truth out of him. In fact they were barely getting any truth out of him, he thought it was better that he keep most of his secrets to himself. But Y/n knew that whatever he was doing wasn't good for him. She would leave when they were only halfway through working on a suit and return to find that one finished and him tinkering with another. The last idea she left him with was what if they had alternative ways to call suits onto them. Then she went on her mission.

It was a longer mission than most but once it was over she felt a huge sense of accomplishment. Even celebrated with a certain redheaded agent the night before they had to return to headquarters. Things between them were complicated but Y/n enjoyed every moment that Natasha allowed and never complained. Not that she had anyone to complain to, she was still too afraid to come out of the closet.

Once they returned, Y/n passed one of the rooms filled with monitors. A headline caught her eye and she had to check it out. Tragedy was on the news. Y/n watched her childhood home be destroyed with the headline that Tony Stark, the Iron Man, was dead. She couldn't believe her eyes. She returns from a long mission and this was the first thing she sees? It looked to be a few days old. Fury waltzed in right behind her to elaborate on the news. Except he didn't instantly make his presence known when he noticed the way Natasha held onto Y/n for support. He shook his head and considered if they were breaking any rules but none came to mind. So he decided to ignore it for the time being.

"He calls himself the Mandarin. After an attack that put Harold Hogan in critical condition in the hospital, Tony thought it was wise to threaten the terrorist. Which resulted in this, I am sorry agent Stark." Fury says as he walks into Y/n's view. Natasha subtly let's go of her co-workers hand, Y/n understands and doesn't try to reach for her.

"Is-Is Happy doing better?" Y/n struggles to speak.

"The last I've heard is that he remains unconscious but he is stable."

"A-And Pepper?"

"There hasn't been much word from or on her but there's no evidence to suggest that she didn't survive the attack. I suggest you go to your living quarters and take a break. Don't do anything rash, Y/n. Take my advice and get some rest." Y/n nodded dutifully and walked out of the room. Natasha wanted to follow but didn't want to give the relationship status away. "Aren't you going to go comfort her?" Fury said knowing and almost teasing.

"I—" she sighed. She knew better than to try and hide anything from Nick. Natasha hurried after Y/n but the former soldier moved fast and was close to her temporary room. When Natasha did catch up, Y/n was pacing the room. "You're not going to rest are you?"

"How could I? That monster is still out there!" Y/n sits at the edge of her bed and throws her face into her hands frustrated that her mind is too cluttered with grief, worry, and anxiety to think straight. She did need to rest but by then it might've been too late. If only she was a computer then she wouldn't have to worry about annoying things such as emotions. "That's it!" She springs up and goes to the locker in the room with her belongings. She digs through her bag and finds her cell phone dead. "Damnit," she shakes her and is about to smash the device on the ground but Natasha catches her wrist before she could.

"Woah there, didn't you pack a charger?"

"Right, a charger!" Y/n goes digging through her bag once again and sets the phone to charge.

"So what was the epiphany that led you to your phone?" Natasha asked as she rubbed small circles on Y/n's back in hopes to soothe the girl she was sort of seeing.

"Jarvis. The only other thing that my uncle relies on more than himself is Jarvis."

"I'm surprised you didn't bring your suit in here with you."

"I tried. I guess Fury saw to it that Rumlow and a few other agents took it off of my hands." Y/n continues to stare at the blinking battery waiting for it to let her turn on the damn thing. "I probably shouldn't have reset it to it's suitcase form before walking in the building."

"You couldn't have known," Natasha says softly. “Wait. Why didn’t Jarvis warn you about all of this before you took off the suit?”

“Because I’ve been developing my own software just in case Tony ever decides to use Jarvis against me again. So my suit, along with the new S.H.I.E.L.D paint job, has a different intelligence system." Y/n tries to turn on the phone but it still refuses to.

"Oh? Does this one have a name?" Natasha moves her hand up to Y/n's hair to try and distract her from the phone and possible racing thoughts in her friend's head.

"No, I haven't figured out what to call her yet."

She raises a brow and stops her hand, "It's a she?"

This takes Y/n's attention and she smirks up at Natasha. "What? Jealous?"

"No, why would I be jealous of a faceless voice?"

“Probably because I have a more defined relationship with her than I have with you.”

“She doesn't even have a name, how great can that relationship be?”

“Fair point, but I bet if I woke up next to her, she wouldn’t kick me out without so much as a goodmorning.”

“That only happened a few times, when are you going to let it go?”

“First of all, it happened this morning. But I’m only giving you a pass this time because we were running late. Second, I will let it go when you stop being afraid to answer the question of: ‘What are we?’” Y/n winks before turning her attention back to the phone. Natasha shakes her head and removes herself from Y/n. She turns around again. "Hey, I'm sorry. Don't leave, I was just kidding."

"You're going to need your suit when you get the information out of Jarvis. Leave that up to me," she leans over and gives Y/n a lingering kiss on the cheek before leaving the room. Y/n closed her eyes as she received the kiss and when she opened them Natasha was gone. She smiled to herself then went back to staring at the damn blinking battery.

Shortly after, the door opens again. “Wow that was fast,” she looks up expecting her friend but instead finds two agents she is unfamiliar with. “Uh can I help you guys?” One quickly throws a black bag over Y/n’s head and she fights back. Kicking and throwing punches she is able to get the guy and the bag off of her. She knocks the other one down by hitting him over the head with her stool. He is only down for a few seconds. She would have escaped if the guy with the bag hadn’t tackled her to the bed. Two more guys show up and Y/n is able to free herself to continue to fight all four of them. That is until one of them pins her down to the floor and another injects her with something, making everything go black. Natasha returns a few minutes later to the empty room with the suit. Rumlow was being difficult about handing it over but she was able to pull rank. Much to his dismay.

“Y/n?” She calls out, ignoring the obvious evidence of a struggle. Natasha goes straight to Fury to inform him of Y/n’s disappearance. “Agent Stark is missing.”

“Let me guess, she couldn’t help herself and decided to chase after the terrorist,” he says tiredly.

“Yes, but––”

“But what? Let her be, she should know what she is doing.”

“But she left without her phone and her suit. And judging by the state of her room, she didn’t leave willingly.”

“Excuse me?” Fury stands from his desk and rushes to Y/n’s room to find the phone cracked on the floor. Charger ripped from the wall. The stool at her desk tipped over and the files on the desk strewn about. It was quite a scene. “Why didn’t she have her suit?”

“Did you not have Rumlow confiscate it?” Natasha asks.

“Does that sound like something I would do?” They move out of the room to go through the security cameras. Meanwhile, Y/n is in an unmarked vehicle being transported to an untraceable aircraft.

Y/n wakes up strapped to a gurney in a room with only one light pointed straight at her face. “Hello?” Her voice is hoarse from its lack of use. How long have I been asleep? “Where am I?” She tries to look around but it’s difficult.

“Greetings Miss Stark. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Baron Wolfgang von Strucker.”

“Who?” She looks around to search for the source of the voice but finds nothing. “Do I know you?”

“No, but I know a lot about you.”

“Listen, if this is about money, I’m sure we can work this out.” Y/n offers as she struggles against her restraints. “My father is dead, which means I now have access to a whole lot of it.”

“My apologies, we had to keep you asleep for a few days while we moved you around. Your adoptive father, Anthony Stark is alive and well. Doesn’t even know about your disappearance yet.” He clicks through the live surveillance footage he has as he talks through the loud speaker. “But that show clown in red, white and blue and that very pretty Russian girl are searching for you. Only thing is, they won’t find you until I want them to. And by then, you’ll probably be dead.”

She wanted to be relieved by this news but she felt that showing any emotion could be a sign of weakness. So she focuses on other things.“Probably?”

“Would you rather it be a certain death?”

“Well no, but I’m not really one to wait to find out and since I don’t have access to google. I’m going to need you to spoil the ending for me, okay?”

Strucker is taken aback by Y/n’s personality. She is definitely much calmer than he expected a spoiled kid, raised in a mansion in California, like her to be. He finds it unsettling. “I can’t guarantee anything but I have plans for you and hopefully you survive them.”

“Alright then, can I get some water, maybe a sandwich? I don’t have any food allergies, but I’m sure you know that from whatever stolen files you have on me.”

“Why are you so calm?”

“Because I’m an Avenger. I have a team, a dysfunctional team, but a team nonetheless. They will find me and I will be waiting for them.”

“It’s not going to be a pleasant wait.”

“I can take it,” Y/n settled comfortably against the bed and closed her eyes to think of her happy place.

“Oh we’ll see about that,” Strucker flips a switch that electrocutes his hostage. He turns the dial up until she gives in and he grins at the sound of her screams.

Fury paces his office watching the security footage of the attack over and over again. “It has been ten days since they took Y/n.” He stops and turns to the people in the room. “How the hell am I supposed to inform Tony Stark that we lost his daughter on Christmas!” He shouts at Maria Hill, Natasha, and Steve. They are his top secret rescue team for the time being. Fury hopes that they can find her before he has to go to Tony with the information. “What do we have?”

“Agent Rumlow was spotted entering the van that took agent Stark and has been missing ever since.” Agent Hill states as she uses the remote to show the video proof. “And in the attack, agent Stark managed to knock off a vital piece of information from one of the fake agents. This pin has a discrete Hydra symbol.” Steve leans over his knees as the image is enhanced. “Which means we are dealing with a bigger issue than we initially thought. There could be more Hydra members that are part of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

The screen returns to the attack. Fury was kind enough to cut out the moment between Natasha and Y/n, deleting it from everything but a flash drive that he gifted to her. She clutched it in her hand as she watched the person she cared about fight for her life. At the moment she was kicking herself for not letting Y/n all the way in. She deserved so much better than what she was getting. “Are there any known locations that they could have taken her?” Natasha asks. Nobody has an answer yet.

“I can still map out their old bases. It’s not much but it's a start,” Steve offers. He was angry and sad. He liked Y/n, she was his friend and these days he didn’t have many. “We’ll get her back,” he promises.

Tony Stark’s face appears in the corner of the projected image as an incoming call and Fury sighs. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep dodging these calls. Hill, find out who else is part of Hydra and interrogate them. Bring Romanoff with you for backup. Rogers, make your map and keep in touch with these two. I will hold off Stark for as long as I can.” The rest of them leave as Fury answers the call.

“Hey there, one-eyed Willie,” Fury is unamused by the nickname. “I have a problem, see I got Y/n a present and I can’t seem to reach her. Is there any chance you could tell me where she is? Surely she would have finished her mission by now.”

“She did, but we had to send her on another one.”

“Really? That’s funny, do you always kidnap your agents when you send them on a mission?” He holds up the video that Jarvis managed to capture before the phone got damaged. It took him a few days to find it and decipher what it was exactly and when he did, he didn’t know what to do about it.

Fury shakes his head. “Stark, listen––”

“Oh, I’m listening. What the hell happened to my daughter, Nick?”

“We’re trying to find out. In the meantime, I need you to break into our system again and look for any files that seem suspicious. Possibly connected to Hydra.”

“Hydra? Isn’t that gone?”

“Apparently not, we think they are the ones that took Y/n. So if you could help, we could definitely use it.”

“I’m on it,” Tony hangs up the phone and clutches his chest as the anxiety rises. He couldn’t lose Y/n this way. All he has ever done is try to protect the people that he loves and cares about. Then he is reminded that not everything is under his control. “Jarvis, hack into S.H.I.E.L.D’s files. We need to catch these sons of bitches before they hurt Y/n.”

Chapter 5