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#(this was 3+ hours ago and there’s much less left rn)
rayatii · 2 years
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Being San(k)ta Lucia is a hardcore fucking job, lemme just say. Absolute kudos to the Swedes who do this every year.
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castiwls · 1 month
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false god - s.w
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Paring; sam x reader
Prompt;'They all warned us about times like this. They say the road gets hard and you get lost'
Requested; @andicedeo
Notes;sorry its taken so long a-levels are kicking my ass rn
Masterlist | Taylor Swift masterlist
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Ever since Dean had been pulled down to hell your life had been a whirlwind. You’d been under the impression that your boyfriend’s demon blood issue was a thing of the past just to come to the realisation that maybe it wasn’t as far gone as he’d made you believe.
Sam had been instant that after Azazel’s death, that part of his life was over. That while it would never go away he would never let it cause issues again. Yet that had all come tumbling down when a new demon had made its way into your lives.
During the year Dean had been in hell you’d been hopeless to do anything but watch as Sam crumbled before your eyes. He pulled away and began spending more and more time alone something which never sat right with you.
Your eyes glanced at the clock hanging off the motel wall and a sigh left your lips. 3 hours. Sam had been gone for 3 hours. You’d given up on trying to call him about five calls ago and instead had taken to watching whatever crappy movie cable was currently showing.
The door opening pulled your attention from the movie. A frown was etched onto your face as Sam caught your gaze. He stopped in his tracks like a deer in headlights before moving to shut the door. 
“Hey. Sorry…I…I uh didn’t mean to be gone for that long.” His shoulders were hunched slightly as he spoke and he refused to meet your gaze. He was feeling guilty and you knew it. “Where were you.” You turned your attention to him fully letting the movie blend into the background.
He faltered for a moment before moving to stand in front of you. From your spot on the bed, you could make out the dark bags under his eyes and the worry lines beginning to etch themselves into his skin. “Sam. Please tell me what’s going on.” You reached out to rub his arm. “I know something up.”
You already knew what was up. The last time Sam had looked this bad was just before Azazel had kidnapped him and taken him and the others to the ranch. You knew it had something to do with the demon blood (the thought alone sent a shiver down your spine)
He stared down at you for a moment. A sigh left his lips before he all but collapsed down to the floor. His hand landed on one of your legs and a small groan left his lips. A look of concern flashed across your face as he readjusted himself to lean against your leg.
Your hand fell into his hair, slowly rubbing against his scalp as you both sat for a moment. “It’s her, isn’t it? Ruby.” The name alone left a bad taste in your mouth and him tense. “You don’t have to say anything.” You continued. “I know it’s her.”
He moved his head to rest on your knee. “I need her help. I need to get Dean back.” He stared up at you, his gaze softening. “You have to understand.” 
“Sam.” The word fell from your lips as a sigh. You knew he was struggling and you expected nothing less. You’d been patient as he grieved. As you both grieved, but this was taking it a step far.
You could feel him slipping through your fingers but you were determined to not let him fall through entirely. You knew the demon blood would cause issues, you weren't stupid. But you were prepared to do whatever you had to. 
Your relationship meant too much and you refused to let him pull away. You’d been through this once and you’d do it again.
“There are other ways to do this. You were so glad when Azazel was gone and you could put the whole demon blood behind you, why bring it back now.” You moved to cup his face with your hands, rubbing a thumb over his cheek.
“Think about this. Please.” You trailed off for a moment. “I can’t lose you as well.” 
At your words, realisation seemed to spark in his eyes as he pushed himself up to his knees. “You're not gonna lose me. I promise.” He reached out to cup the back of your head. “I…I’m willing to look at other things if that’s what you want.” You could feel the worry in his tone as he spoke and it pulled on your chest. 
The thought of losing you sent a spike of fear through him as his actions dawned on him. He’d spent so much time obsessing over the idea of getting stronger and being able to live without Dean that he’d completely forgotten in his haste how his actions would affect you.
“I’m not gonna leave Sam.” You smiled reassuring him as he pulled you into his chest, his head finding the crook of your neck.
You’d never leave him. Not while he was so vulnerable. You knew there was a chance along the way he could be swayed onto the wrong path, having demon blood in you was something which you could never imagine. But with Azazel gone, you knew nothing was going to come of this blood. 
As long as you were here you would do everything in your power to keep him on the right track. 
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ashwii · 3 months
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I saw in your tags that you stopped reading fanfics bc you would get hyperfixated on them. Did you ever try sorting by complete, and with a lower word count? That’s what I’ve had to do to make sure I don’t get nonfunctional for days while reading a long one. Just only read completed fics that are 3k words or less haha
Hehe yes I would, usually I read fics that were less than 10k 🤔 however that kinda left me unsatisfied a lot of the time, i guess. Say, after a 5k I would always go look for another few fics too, so I still wasted some hours until I passed out asleep. And then sometimes there'd be that *perfect* fic I wanted that was 100k, and well there goes the *entire* day XDD
I got reminded of all this bc I was feelin Leo angst a few days ago, and I remembered that one of my very lovely friends rec'ed me a Leo fic last year (Where in the World is Neon Leon?) and I was like "... welp what's the worst that could happen," 90k and I didn't do anything till i finished it 12 hours later AHA. *Then* I got such an enormous urge to look up F!leo fics, and I was so "I've avoided rottmnt fics for 3+ years now, is this where I finally break-"
Man I love fics so so *so* damn much, but I'm in the middle of my semester rn and it would be such an awful idea for me to get hooked on fics rn lmao. Maybe once the semester is over I can take a lil dive into into ao3, find those f!leo fics ehehe. Maybe if you lovley people have any recs, I can keep the recs for when I finish my semester as a reward ehe -w-
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asoftspotforangels · 2 months
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so I was tagged three times lately so I am putting it all in one post XD
from least to most difficult askfhjadkhfjkdlhaf
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from @hardboiledteacozy 💝
⟡ rules : answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!
⟡ fav color : green 💚
⟡ last song : Moment's Silence (Common Tongue) by Hozier
⟡ last movie : Barbie (I haven't seen any movie since last year lol). tv series - 1670
⟡ currently reading : I just finished I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy and started 1F: Fukushima I Nuclear Power Plant Work Log by Tatsuta Kazuto
⟡ currently watching : Dungeon Meshi 🍳
⟡ currently craving : some nice juicy oranges 😔 if anyone has tips on how to choose the best oranges, let me know pls
⟡ coffee or tea : I like coffee only if it's a sweet treat (so with milk and sugar or some sugary syrup); tea, however !! 🥰 a few days ago I opened a blend I got who knows how many years ago and from where or from whom, it's green and white tea, and it's soooo gooood~
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from @minnichan 💗
Rules: pick a song for each letter of your url and tag that many people. my url is too long for that lol
I have a playlist for songs I currently listen to, let's see if it's enought to complete this game… there's not a huge variety of artists tho ^^"
A - Appaloosa by Lor S - Sinktank by Inabakumori O - Overdose by Natori (hi minni!!!! I saw a cover of it in one of your asks lately!!! :3) F - fanfiction by Lor (yes, that's a lyrics video on their official channel xd) T - Tail by Sunmi (when will she come back to Poland TT__TT) S - Sweet Dream from Alien Stage by C!naH / by BL8M (I have both versions on my playlist, yeah) P - Post Shelter by Inabakumori O - Order of Silence from Genshin (ost from Cyno's demo) T - Trafalgar Square by Lor F - FightSong by Eve O - Overture from Jesus Christ Superstar 1996 R - Ruler Of My Heart from Alien Stage ( ‼ spoilers from Alien Stage here ‼ cw: blood, violence, death, panic attack) A - agaki (亜ガキ) by Ora (sometimes the background music skips between left and right side and I love it) N - Nonsense Bungaku by Eve G - A Gentleman's Fantasy from Honkai Star Rail (amazing boss theme!!) E - Ezra Was Right by Grandbrothers (this one starts quite slowly, if you're impatient you can start at 3:15 xD) L - Lagtrain by Inabakumori S - $hrek 2 by Lor (cw: guys without shirts fighting at school)
Lor is a Polish band that I recommend with my whole heart :3
many Eve's MVs are like short animes, I love them so so much
the whole Alien Stage is quite short, because it's basically made of music videos and there's less than 10 rn (here's a playlist for anyone interested) (but it can be quite triggering sometimes)
fuck gachas and their gambling, but genshin and star rail have amazing music
here's a very fun fact: I started listening to Eve and Inabakumori last year on April 17 and May 4 respectively, so about a year ago!!
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from @dangerliesbeforeyou 💖
list 5 topics i can talk on for an hour without preparing any material
this one's difficult!!!! because I can endlessly talk about my fandoms and blorbos........only. I don't feel knowledgeable on anything specific, but I could, however, ramble on about my interests
I'm back to that Stardew Valley Grind™ rn so I could talk a lot about my farm. my first farm. year three, winter, and it's probably the ugliest farm you've ever seen. and. and also. my cyhaino sdv au brainrot. 😳
genshin, especially my ultimate blorbo Alhaitham 🌱 idk, I just like this guy, I saw first leaks and I was like 👉 this guy. this is my dude.
my babeys blue lions from fire emblem 3 houses 😭 I chose them in my first playthrough and I still do NOT care about anyone else (that's an exaggeration, I care about others, but... not as much... 😔) also, Sylvain is there and flirty red guys are my ultimate weakness. I know he can, just, switch to your house if you're playing female Byleth (lol), but I don't want to separate him from his friends 😭 they're all traumatised and need hugs
painting and drawing! lately I fell back in love in traditional art and I picked up acrylic painting, and I'm watching a lot of videos and learning a lot - by my own trial and error too, but it's fun!
various handcraft I learned - embroidery, crocheting, knitting, punch needle, sewing - and stuff I created. I don't do all these all the time, only when I feel like it so.....irregularly lol! but I have lots of ideas and some plans, and unfinished works
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tagging: @natowe @one-trash-alek @hardboiledteacozy @dangerliesbeforeyou @minnichan
@vanyafresita @giosele @shuuenka @thebrokenwriter911
tagging everyone for everything, do whichever you want or nothing at all, no pressure ✨
(but I love reading other people's answers :3)
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pretty dividers from @cafekitsune (x)
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coccyodynia · 1 year
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things:
four years and a few days ago, i entered treatment for dual diagnosis care to treat my mental health and drug use
for about 4 straight years before that, i’m not sure i was sober for more than an hour at a time
i was really heavily using benzos and always mixing them with an extreme amount of alcohol
frequently confused as to who i was then, how people perceived me, and how i’m still alive
i’m extremely grateful i went to treatment, because if i hadn’t had some kind of intervention, i dont think i would have survived another year like that
i still really really struggle with relapses
and in the last two years i’m not sure i’ve managed to have a clean streak longer than 3 months
but i am trying
my drug abuse ended up being the last straw for some important people in my life, who would eventually leave my life bc of it
anyway moving on to other topics
i finally saw justin this week, for the first time in three months
it’s been a pretty weird 3 month period of not really knowing where we stood bc i couldn’t keep my feelings to myself, and he needed a break from that i guess
i understand it will never again be like it was when we first started talking
and tbh that really kills me, but i’m very grateful he’s a part of my life still, in some way
the connection was immediately really strong from the start and i really credit him with helping me a lot
he was probably the first person to verbalize “i’m here for you”, and actually follow through with that sentiment
meeting him almost exactly one year after reid left my life is probably worth mentioning here but whatever
ive finally been able to start seeing my therapist again, and i meet with her monday
right now she can only schedule me every other week, which is a really hard adjustment for me to make tbh
since october of 2019 i probably have had therapy at least once a week
im really struggling with staying sane bc my job has become an incredibly stressful place for me, which didn’t used to be the case
like work has always had some level of stress, sure, but this last month or so, i have been getting physically sick from the stress, crying at my desk every day, etc
but on the other hand, i’m also having these really meaningful yet overwhelming moments of gratitude for being where i’m at
like yeah nothing is perfect or even close, but i have created a life for myself that works most of the time
im finally experiencing a level of safety and security that i have honest to god never felt before, and i did not even know that it could improve this much
growing up i didnt have any sense of safety or security at all, which i didn’t realize until very recently
in the last year or so working with nicole (my therapist), i have finally learned that the things i was subjected to as a child were not normal, and that it was traumatic
about 6 months or so ago (possibly less), i learned i have complex post traumatic stress disorder
i had pretty much known for over a decade that i was borderline, before i was officially diagnosed
but i didn’t even have an inkling of an idea that i could be experiencing CPTSD, so when my therapist gently told me i was, my world view realllyyyyy started to shatter and shift
it has been very very difficult to come to terms with tbh
anyways i really miss writing and photographing and making art so i hope to return to that soon
i’m at work rn and i should probably start doing my job before the bosses get here so ta-ta for now thanks for reading this insane post
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youcantwaitforsnow · 1 year
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12.26.22
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I.R.L.📷2
Warnings: noncon sexual acts and rape, voyeurism/exhibitionism, slight stalking, masturbation, naughty talk.
This is dark!(camboy!)Andy Barber. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your guilty pleasures becomes and all too real terror.
Note: Okay, here’s the second and last part of this short little piece. Thanks for reading and the excitement. I’m sorry if I’m a bit blegh rn.
Thank you so much for your patience! And support!!
As always, if you are so inclined, please like, reblog, and comment. <3
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Andy stared at the chat. He waited and waited but the green dot didn’t pop up. Maybe she was freaked out after meeting him. Or maybe she was over him. Her name hadn’t blipped up in any of his sessions in the last week and he even invited her to an impromptu private show after he got back from the café. He hoped her seeing him might nudge her but it only seemed to scare the fuck out of her.
He recalled how she nearly fell on her face running away from him. That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. No preening or smiles, just terror and a quick escape. He didn’t understand. He was a good looking guy and she was obviously lonely. Hell, she was cute too. He was hardly disappointed.
He waited another fifteen minutes, distracting himself with the colour matching game on his phone but her status remained inactive. He scrolled through his bookmarks and clicked on her insta profile. She had commented on some DIY tutorials in the last hour but hadn’t posted. She only ever added pictures of flowers anyway; her last photo of herself was from a year ago. It was her and some guy but he could guess they were no longer together.
He was starting to get upset. She was ignoring him. He wasn’t stupid but what had he done? Their sessions were going well up until this week and he actually looked forward to them. He felt that same thrill he had when he first started his hustle.
He slammed his laptop shut and dropped his phone face down. Fuck it, he had better stuff to do.
He crossed the room and grabbed one of the boxes still stacked against the wall. He hauled it over to the empty bookshelf and flipped it open. He unpacked the books one at a time and the heavy bookend shaped like half a globe. He didn’t know why he brought all these things, he didn’t use them. He wasn’t a lawyer anymore.
He leaned against the side of the sofa and crossed his arms. He boxed up his whole life, or what was left of it, and drove halfway across the country. She couldn’t even give him a hello or her name. She could hardly look at him and she wouldn’t answer his goddamn messages.
He pushed himself straight and stormed over to his laptop. He ripped it open and clicked on the chat. Still, nothing. The invitation was scheduled for less than an hour. Well, if she wasn’t going to open it, he’d have to get it to her another way. He was done waiting on her and he was done playing with her through a screen.
He wanted the real thing and he knew she wanted it too.
📷
You were still slightly addled from your encounter at the café. After you got home and unpacked your groceries, you didn’t find your coffee again until it went cold. You dumped it and replaced it with a glass of wine. You bought the bottle a month ago, expecting to unwind and that time finally came.
You sat with the healthy dose of alcohol, almost to the brim as it darkened the full belly of the glass. You wore only a baggy Winnie the Pooh tee and panties as you lounged and flipped on the tv. 
You rarely used the front room anymore, ever since your boyfriend moved out you spent most of your time in the bedroom, exhausted and lonely. It was easier to just linger there between responsibilities.
Your dainty sips turned to greedy slurps as you turned on an episode of Project Runway and lost yourself in the competition and drama of it all. Your ex hated that show and you hadn’t watched it in years. It was time to get caught up with what would forever be your unfulfilled dream of being a designer.
By the runway, your glass was empty and the television had a soft glare as you were slightly buzzed by the high potency. The dark blend had a percentage in the double digits and you were feeling it, delightfully so. As the designers came up for their feedback from judges, more so a roast, you leaned back and wiggled your hips as you stretched. You yawned and closed your eyes as you listened to a designer give cutting critique of a hem.
You peeked under your lashes as the camera panned in on the fraying stitches. Well, it looked alright from far away. You bent your arm under your head as you turned onto your side and your eyes closed again as you pondered another glass of wine. That might give you a decent night’s sleep.
You inhaled and sat up, intent on another indulgence but you stopped short as you blinked in shock. You hadn’t drank that much. You couldn’t be hallucinating. You pressed yourself to the back of the couch and shook your head as you gaped at the figure stood just beside the tv, eyes calmly watching you.
“What…” you gulped.
“Shhhh,” the man, the one you watched all those nights on your laptop, brought his finger to his lips as he hushed you, “it’s okay, honey.”
“I--” your heart leapt into your throat and you stood as you swiped up your glass, “get out. How did--”
“I sent you an invitation. Several this week. You haven’t answered--”
You hit the glass off the table so it cracked and left a jagged edge. You jabbed it out at him from the other side of the coffee table, your hand shaking as the shock turned to a jolt of adrenaline.
“Go! Get out!” you snapped, too terrified to think on how he found you or if your meeting that day was truly a coincidence. It didn’t seem like it, “you’re crazy, get out of my--”
He marched around the table as you backed up and swung the glass at him. He caught your wrist and twisted it as he wrenched you close to him and pointed the sharp edge at your throat. The scent of him filled your lungs and mingled with the taste of wine as the glass pressed to your skin.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he warned, “so don’t make me.”
“Please--”
He said your name, calmly, as you drowned in his oceanic eyes. You quivered in his grasp and tensed as you tried to lean away from him, “Andy,” he offered, “that’s my real name.”
“Please, I don’t know what you want--”
“You know exactly what I want,” he hissed as he pulled away the glass and tossed it to shatter against the wall, “the same thing I always wanted… that you want.”
You took a deep breath and he clapped his hand over your mouth and tutted. His brows wrinkled in irritation and your drunken fingers bounced futilely off his shoulder. He turned you and sat you down on the couch and knelt with you, shushing you again as he settled on his knees on the floor.
“Honey, aren’t you tired of this? Of being apart? Of just… watching?” his eyes strayed from yours and he smiled as he eyed the yellow bear on your shirt, “that’s cute.”
You shook your head and murmured against his hand. His lashes flicked up and his jaw squared. His lips thinned as he considered you.
“Thing is, honey, I’d love to talk but you gotta promise not to scream,” he said, “and I mean that because I don’t want to gag you… not yet, anyway.”
Your eyes rounded and you nodded fervently as your breath puffed under his palm. He narrowed his eyes and shifted his hand slightly, moving it just an inch at a time as he watched you. You sniffled as he let his grip fall to your knee.
“Why? How…” you stuttered, “it was a mistake. Just a show--”
“You were always there,” he said as his other hand came up to your other knee and he ran his hands up and down your legs, “it didn’t sound like a mistake.” He pushed his fingers along the top of your thighs, “you enjoyed it.”
“It wasn’t… like that, just…”
He squeezed your thighs painfully and you winced. His fingers crawled up under the hem of your tee to the elastic of your panties and he hooked them beneath the fabric. You grasped his wrists in shock at his sudden movement and he looked you in the face.
“Say whatever you want, make your excuses,” he snarled, “you said you wanted me, you said it a dozen times, and I know you do.”
He tore down the cotton and you flailed out and caught yourself against the back of the couch. He rolled your panties down and untangled them from your ankles as you tried to close your legs. He kept your panties around his wrist as he stopped your knees from meeting and moved between them.
“Honey, now, I think we’ve had enough build up--”
“Hel--” you screamed and he grabbed your chin and snapped your mouth shut so that you bit your tongue.
He growled and shook your panties down over his hand. He brought up the twisted fabric and shoved it into your mouth. You tried to turn away from his grip as he stuffed the panties in with two fingers as deep as they would go and you almost gagged.
“It’s too bad,” he said, “I wanted to try that mouth… next time.”
You batted at his arms and chest and his hand shot to your throat. You stilled as he choked you, just enough for lungs to burn. He kept his hand on your neck until you sat back and he let it trail down the front of your shirt. He groped you through the fabric, rolling his thumb around your nipples as they hardened.
“I know you can be good, honey,” he hummed, “you’re just… nervous. I know what it’s like, trying to get over someone else. Trying to move on from a life you built-- a break-up, right? That lanky guy on your Insta--”
You gave a terrified flutter of your lashes and he smiled, a tight-lipped sympathetic gesture.
“Look, we’re two lonely people,” he kneaded your chest as he spoke and leaned in, “so, it only makes sense, and I promise, honey, the shows are over. It’s all for you now.”
You trembled as he dropped his hands and pulled up your shirt. He tickled your stomach with his knuckles and framed your tits with his hands as he admired them. You squirmed as he flicked them with his thumbs and leaned into you. He took one in his mouth and suckled. You whimpered as you felt a pluck in your core.
He parted with a pop and licked his lips, “I never… it was always hard to think of what you’d look like but I couldn’t picture anyone so perfect.”
Your nails dug into the couch cushions as you tried not to flinch. The glimmer of delight turned to disgust as you watched this stranger fondle you and he sealed his lips around your other nipple. You bit down on the cotton and moaned. You were so pathetic. It was your stupid moments of lonely desperation that brought you to this, that brought him to you.
His large hands spread along your sides and he pressed his fingertips into you sharply as he toyed with your nipples. He grazed his teeth along each bud and pulled back to look at you again. You grasped his shoulders as you begged him with your eyes and shook your head.
“I… always wanted to do this in the bedroom,” he said, “that’s where you usually are, huh? Touching yourself for me all alone in the dark--”
You hung your head in defeat and he pulled you forward on the cushion. He lifted you onto your feet and spun you around in the space between him and the couch. He put one hand on your hip and the other on the back of your neck and walked you around the sofa. He paced slowly behind you as he urged you down the hall and paused to peer through your bedroom door.
“Here we are,” he said as he angled you through the door. You reached up as your jaw ached around the wad of fabric and he caught your hand and yanked it down, “I didn’t say you could do that.”
You dropped your arm and he let you go. He pressed his body to your back as he nudged you closer to the bed and stopped you right before it. He bunched your shirt in his hands and tugged it up until you raised your arms. He swiped it over your head and let it crumple beside your feet.
“Go on, sit nice and pretty for me,” he tapped your ass lightly.
Naked, you shivered as you stepped away from him and got onto the bed. You turned as you bent your legs over the edge and lowered your chin. You hugged yourself as he stood watching you with his hands on his belt.
“Don’t you worry, it’s still a show,” he said as his hands slid over to his buckle. 
He winked and ran his fingers up the front of his jacket and pulled it off. He draped it over the folding stool by your bookshelf and bent each leg to tug off his shoes. His socks followed shortly after and he squared his shoulders before he scooped his shirt up and off. He returned to his buckle and tilted his head at you.
“Look at me, honey,” he said as you stared at the pile of clothing, “we both know you love to watch.”
You raised your eyes to him and clamped your hands around your shoulders, arms crossed over your chest. He grinned and unbuckled his belt, his zipper gliding down smoothly beneath his fingers.
“You got me hard as fuck,” he said, “I didn’t like that earlier, you know? The way you ran from me.”
You just sat and tried to swallow the hopeless acceptance. He pushed down his pants and stepped out of them, his arousal bulging against his boxers. Your fingernails cut into your skin as you curled your fingers.
“You’ve been so good to me, honey,” he continued as he rolled down his boxers, “you know, I only want to return the favour. I came all this way just to get close so that--” he paused as his dick sprang up before him and he kicked away his underwear, “I can take care of you now.”
He gripped himself and stroked his length with a hum. His stomach tensed and the lines of his muscles deepened as he groaned and played with himself as he would before the camera. You were mortified as you watched him helplessly and he got closer and closer.
“Now you get the live show, honey,” he reached out and took your hand, closing it around his dick as he guided it up and down.
He moaned and hung his head back as he used both your hands on his shaft. He shuddered and leaned into your grasp. You listened to his pants as they grew quicker and quicker and he stopped you abruptly. You looked down at the glistening pre-cum as it leaked from his tip and he trailed his thumb through it as he let you go.
You flinched as he moved towards you suddenly and grabbed your hips. He lifted you and dropped you onto your back. He took your ankles and placed them against his shoulders as he stretched your legs up his torso. His cock slid along your cunt and hovered over your folds.
“Fuck, I can’t wait any longer,” he bit his lips and looked between your legs as he let go of one leg and reached down to guide himself between your lips, “oh, honey, your so sexy.”
He pushed apart your cunt with two fingers and slid in between his knuckles. He gasped as you stretched around him and you pushed your head back and whined around the fabric in your mouth. You whimpered as he drew back just a little and pushed in deeper. He rocked his hips, getting further each time as your walls strained around him.
He tilted you against him so that he reached his limit and slid his thumb along your bud. He swirled around your clit as he carried a slow motion, gliding in and out of you as you slicked around him. The tingle of his touch crept like tendrils beneath your flesh and made you clench around his dick.
He groaned and sped up, just a little as he played with you, pressing more firmly on your clit until your hand shot down over his. You didn’t move him away, only gripped his wrist as he toyed with you, fucking you deliberately as the sensation melded into a maelstrom. The twisting spring inside of you compressed and released suddenly in a ripple of sheer delight.
You groaned and bent your legs against him, raising your pelvis higher so he dipped even deeper. Your eyes rolled back and you ripped the panties from your mouth in your ecstatic trance. You balled them in your hand and writhed on his dick. 
He grasped your hips and dragged your ass over the edge of the bed and rammed into you. You cried out and he did it again. It was as if he lost all control as his pelvis slapped against you loudly and his voice rumbled through the room. You gulped and gasped as he pressed the heel of his hand to your clit and rubbed harder, his fingers stabbing sharply against your flesh.
His other hand snaked up to pinch your nipple and cup your tit. He braced you as he bent over you and fucked you furiously. He stepped up onto the edge of the bed frame as he curled your body beneath his and brought both his hands up beside your head as he held himself over you.
He plunged down into you over and over and he huffed as he watched the joining of your bodies. He growled and pulled out of you suddenly, bending your legs up as you were contorted further. He grabbed your hand again and trapped it around his dick, moving it quickly as he muttered.
He came in thick ropes onto your chest and down the folds of your stomach as you were in almost a C beneath him, his knees around your thighs. You shook and lifted his chin as he snarled and kept your hand moving, still cumming over you. He tore your grasp from him as he grew over sensitive and hung his head as he quivered.
“Shit,” he swore as he backed off of you and stood, leaning on the bed to steady himself. Your legs fell over the edge and his cum cooled across your skin, “you look good like that, honey.”
He stepped closer and pushed his fingers through the mess. You shivered and stopped his hand as you slowly returned to reality. You lifted yourself on one elbow and batted your lashes in confusion.
“How did you even find me?” you uttered.
“Doesn’t matter how,” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to sit up gruffly, “only that I did.”
482 notes · View notes
silver-weasel · 3 years
Text
Diving (Deku x Reader)
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Pairing : Deku x fem!reader (aged-up characters)
Rating : E, 18+
Tags : smut • fem!reader (she/her) • best friends to lovers / childhood friends to lovers • quirkless AU • p*rn with feelings (like. a lot of them) • public sex (more or less) • switching • hair pulling? • pining • Deku being flustered and an absolute angel what’s new • Reader being a teasing brat • It’s all soft and fluffy, I’m as vanilla as you can get 🤷‍♀️ • Happy birthday to the bestest boyyy I love him so much it hurts
Word count : 10 600 (Holy sh—)
A/N : Thank you @hoe-doroki my beloved and savior for beta-ing <3
Written for @rat-zuki​’s collab in honor of our favorite birthday boy, The Deku Agenda Escapes no One. Thank you so much for letting me join! (go check out the other amazing writers and artists!)
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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
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The ground grinds repeatedly under your hiking shoes, some pebbles being kicked forward on your way. You’re way too deep in the forest to hear any cars passing by and during the two hours you’ve been here you haven’t run into anyone. The place seems empty, the only souls breathing the forest’s thick air being you, Izuku and the birds chirping all around you.
The afternoon is coming to an end, the sun sinking down on its way to hide behind the mountains. The remains of its soft light are filtering through the dense leaves all around and above you. You’re surrounded by green, lush and immeasurable greenery, every plant merging into another.
You’ve left the marked paths, now wandering deep in the richest, boundless part of a forest you both know like the back of your hand after roaming it all over innumerable times. All over, except for this part, in which you’re setting foot for the first time today. Your many previous hiking sessions were shortened by your questionable sense of organization, always arriving too late to explore further into the unknown.
Leaves brush against your knees with every single step you take as you follow Izuku on his heels. He’s moving at a steady pace, his hands holding tight the straps of his yellow backpack that he’s had for as long as you can remember. He’s always so organized, has everything you two could eventually need and generally never do. Two huge flasks of water, an entire meal he calls ‘little snacks’, with sandwiches, fruits, protein bars, even hard-boiled eggs. A first-aid kit with disinfectant, bandages, scissors and painkillers. Hell, you’re even wondering if he has any pads for you in there, in case of an unexpected period. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
You giggle lightly when you see him stumble for the sixth time since you got here; he can’t seem to keep his curious eyes from drifting up and around, looking in every direction, probably retaining every detail and logging it in some impressive mental database of his. And he’s commenting on every little thing he sees too; he makes you notice things you never would have if it weren’t for his candid interest in everything.
“Oh! Look at that bird!” he exclaims, pointing at a branch over your heads. “Do you see it, right there, with the red mark!”
You turn your gaze to where he’s pointing and see a little bird, very cute, but so tiny you’re wondering how one could spot it without specifically looking for it. That’s probably what you like most about Izuku: his attention to detail. That’s the thing—nothing is too small for him, everything is worthy of interest. His eyes always light up with such curiosity, this child-like wonder and it was always one of your favorite things to witness growing up.
When he came over to your house at age six, he was always running around with some bug on his forearm, calling your name, yelling, “Look at this!”
Most of the time, it was a snail or a ladybug, and that always managed to catch your interest. Sometimes, it was a spider or a beetle, and he had you screaming in horror more than once, running to your mother’s legs with weeping eyes. Those times, he always watched you go with wide, sad eyes and a wobbly lip, because, “I would never hurt her, Mom! I swear I didn’t want to scare her!”
“Oh, yeah, I see it! It’s so cute!”
And it is cute, the way his huge green eyes go even rounder in amazement. You treasure these hikes for providing occasions to witness this. But as much as you wish this moment could last forever, the sun is beginning to set, you probably shouldn’t go deeper in the forest at sundown.
“We should probably head back to the car, Izuku. It’s gonna be dark soon.”
“Come on, it’s still so light—there’s no rush!” His lips crook a bit into an impish smile. “Scared that a bear is coming to get you?”
“There aren’t any bears here—we’ve been coming for five years.”
“Because if it’s the bears you’re afraid of,” he begins, ignoring you on purpose, “you know I’ll protect you, right?” he says, sticking out his chest like he’s some superhero.
“Against a bear? Right.”
“You’re underestimating me? That’s just mean.”
You chuckle at his antics, shooting him a look of yours that says, ‘Come on, please?’.
His eyes soften a bit, but he’s used to that look; it’s been years since it worked on him as well as you’d like it to.
“We can just keep going this way, then we’ll make a loop and head back to the car directly! It’ll be even shorter this way.”
“Alright, let’s do that,” you agree, and the smile it elicits from him makes something tingle deep in your stomach.
You move forward again, sinking deeper within the forest. It’s becoming harder and harder to walk, brambly branches and huge leaves blocking your way more and more with every step.
You’re a bit ahead of him when you catch sight of a sparkle behind the bushes. Just a glimpse of light, but you’re positive you saw it. Is there water here? You never really looked at a map of the place before—you just always went wherever you felt like and used the same tracks on the way back. You hurry up a bit, curious eyes fixed on that glimmer of light.
Soon enough the dense greenery comes to an end, and you’re finally out of the bushes, finding your way into a little clearing. You’re standing, speechless, in front of a pond: it’s about forty feet wide, catching the last rays of sunshine in a dazzling reflection. The water is surrounded by gigantic trees big enough to be home to an entire niche of biodiversity, and a half-sandy, half-stony shore with reeds rising from the water on both sides.
It’s all calm and quiet and massive trees, branches pouring, cascading above still water. The air feels cool, filled with a pure smell of dew and spring even though it’s the end of a hot day of July.
Izuku is close behind you and lets out a very cute, “Whoa,” ditching his backpack on the ground next to you in the middle of the cove. The both of you just stand there for a moment in complete silence, aside from the birds chirping. Izuku breaks it first:
“How come we’ve never seen this before? This place is amazing.” He sounds distant as he speaks, soaking up his surroundings like he always does.
“I guess you never know everything about anything,” you say mindlessly, without detaching your gaze of the wonderful view ahead.
He’s standing close to you, very close. You’re only noticing now that you’re coming down from the high of your discovery. Your arms are brushing, you can feel his body heat from how close you two are. It wouldn’t be the first time; you’re no stranger to being physically close to Izuku. You’ve been playing together since you were able to put one foot in front of the other. And you wish you could say it feels any different right now, but that would be a lie. Being close to him always felt the same. Always felt like the only easy thing in your life. The only constant.
Yet it’s not enough. No matter how close, it’s never enough, it never was. You hate yourself for feeling that way; you’ve never been the greedy, unsatisfied type. You have everything with Izuku. Well, almost everything.
But right now this place—this very quiet, beautiful place with no one in sight is doing things to your fertile imagination. Despite the sun just beginning to set, the summer air still remains thick with heat. You find yourself staring in the abyss of that water, admiring the masterpiece of a reflection on the surface, a painting of leaves and clouds and blue sky. It calls you, sings an irresistible song of fresh water on sweaty skin and strong, freckled arms wrapped around you.
You don’t know if the slight, insignificant detail that you would have to undress in order to dive into that water—since you didn’t bring a swimsuit—is a better reason to do it or to refrain from doing so.
You’ve lost count of how many moments you’ve shared with him just like this one. So many chances for you to take. You never have.
Back to the original issue: can you see yourself walk out of that clearing the way you always do? Can you see yourself going home, adding this missed chance to your growing collection of lost memories, of hands within your reach that you chose not to take?
The answer pops in your mind, crystal clear for the first time since you met him.
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You drop your bag on the ground, turning to Izuku with a delighted expression stretching your features. The look on your face reminds him of one he’d seen on you as a kid, bouncing on the balls of your feet in front of the ice cream truck. At this moment he just knows you’ve got some stupid shenanigan in mind, like you always do. Once again, he isn’t wrong.
“Wanna take a dip?” You’re squinting at him from his side, a mischievous smile lighting up your face.
“I-I didn’t bring a swimsuit,” he stutters.
It’s been a long time since he last stuttered in front of you. He got rid of it years ago, but it still resurfaces sometimes in front of intimidating strangers or in a socially uncomfortable situation. Never in front of you, though.
“Me neither,” you answer plainly with that same impish smile, and his eyes go round at your implications.
“Wait, you can’t be—Oh my God—”
His heart does a great flip in his chest when he catches you taking the hem of your shirt up over your head. In less than five seconds, you’ve got him scorching hot, feverish and suddenly he can’t tell right from left.
His reflex is to bury his face in his hands. He respects you too much to take a peek, but you’re making things very difficult for him. He can hear you move towards the water, can hear the thump of your forgotten shoes hitting the ground one after the other, can hear the soft pad of your naked feet on the rocks.
“For the love of God, please, put it back on…” 
“What? Look at this view, it would be a shame not to make the most of it!”
He’s not looking at the view right now, he can’t let himself. He knows very well he won’t be able to focus on the trees when you’re standing pretty much naked—although he’s not sure to what extent—in front of him. You could be entirely naked right now and he wouldn’t be able to tell, his burning face still hidden in his shaking hands. His voice comes out muffled when he stammers, “I-It’s starting to get late, we really should get back to the car…”
“What, you’re scared of the bears?”
He can’t see you, but he knows you’re sporting that smug grin of yours, the one he first saw when you showed him your impressive collection of Pokémon cards on your preschool’s playground. You’ll have to take a lingering silence for an answer.
“Izuku, come on. I don’t bite.”
He’s not entirely sure the sight of you won’t gnaw him to the bone, won’t melt his entire body down and leave him a hot mess. He won’t be a man anymore, just a walking flame fueled by the heavenly sight of you. No, he can’t let himself fall into that. Obviously you don’t know what you’re doing to him.
Nevertheless, you’re probably the most stubborn person he knows. And he’s friends with Katsuki Bakugou, for God’s sake. He won’t be able to get out of this as easily as he wants, especially as he hears the delicate noise of water splitting at your feet as you enter the little pond.
He slowly moves his hands off of his face. You must have your back turned to him, so maybe he can drift his eyes off somewhere—
You are in front of him, thigh deep in the water now. In nothing but your panties. Your white, flower-patterned lace panties that are doing a very bad job at covering your backside. He lets out a long, pained whine, standing in the middle of the little shore with his arms dangling down his sides, not sure what to do with them.
“Why didn’t you at least keep your bra on?” His voice comes out way more wobbly than he intended to.
You turn a little so you can look at him, and it takes every little bit of strength he’s got left to look you in the eye. But as you’re turning around, the smooth curve of your breast starts showing, and God, is that your nipple?
He wants a giant hole to swallow him right now. He wants some forest creature to come for him right this instant, anything to keep him away from you, keep him from doing things he might regret. To punish him for having such thoughts about you, because you trust him, you’re so oblivious, so innocent, and he’s so weak against this inner monster that’s eating him away.
With a little frown, you deliver the answer like it’s self-evident as you kneel into the water, the surface just above your chest:
“I didn’t want it to get wet.”
“But you’re okay with your panties getting wet?”
The realization of what he just said is slow but surely comes. And when it does, he wishes even harder to get erased from the surface of this planet he’s already lucky enough to share with you. There is a long silence, and all he can hear for a few seconds are the birds chirping and the violent pounding of his heart against his ribcage, straining to get out.
You turn back around to look at him, dumbstruck. 
“I’m more than okay with that—”
“Please forget I just said that,” he cuts you off. He��s not sure he can bear to hear more of this.
“I’m never forgetting you said that. It’s pure gold,” you scoff.
He can only answer with a drawn-out whine. He doesn’t have any choice in this, does he?
When you dive in the water, he takes both his shaking hands to the hem of his shirt and starts undressing.
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What the fuck am I doing?
The water is so pure you can see underwater as clear as day: the few rocks at the bottom, the little silvery fish all around you, and the last rays of sunlight permeating through the calm surface above your head. The water feels a bit cold on your naked skin since the sunlight and summer heat must only hit the clearing at certain hours of the day. Still, the cold water isn’t enough to clear your foggy mind.
What was I thinking?
You’ve always been a bashful person, why is it changing all of a sudden? Maybe it’s the devastating effect Izuku has on you.
You try to calm down a bit, taking a deep breath. So, you’re pretty much naked in front of him. Well, it definitely wouldn’t be the first time, and it (probably) won’t be the last. Now you just have to go through with your stupid idea. It’s no big deal, it’s only Izuku. Only Izuku.
Only Izuku.
Fuck.
You finally surface, not only because you can’t hide underwater forever, but also because, surprisingly, you’re not a fish, you have to actually breathe.
You push your dripping hair to the back of your head, still careful to keep your breasts under the water. Izuku’s already in to his hips when you turn around to look at him, your vision still blurry from the water trickling all over your face. He’s merciless, standing like that, only the elastic of his boxers peeking out of the water. You’re a bit surprised by the plain, black color. You were expecting something along the lines of blue, yellow and red. Izuku is full of surprises.
But nevermind the color of his underwear—what you find just above is mesmerizing. Your indiscreet, incorrigible gaze can’t help following the thin trail of hair tracing up to his navel, then the stunning lines of his abs, partly hidden behind his freckled forearms shyly crossed over them. The freckles spread up his powerful arms, gently sunkissed, scattering all over his broad shoulders.
Is he actually hiding, though? Doesn’t he know he looks like he was carved by the gods themselves?
“Have you done this before?”
The sound of his voice startles you a bit. Ah, right. You were shamelessly staring. It takes you a couple of seconds to force your distracted mind back into focus. “Done what?”
“Skinny dipping?”
“No, it’s my first time. It looks like it’s yours too.” His big, bright eyes drift around like they don’t know where to look. It’s really cute.
“It is,” he admits, now kneeling into the water as well. “I would’ve thought you were used to this.” You arch a single eyebrow in an amused frown.
“What, do I look like I have a professional degree in skinny dipping?”
“No, it’s just…You look confident, it just seemed like it.”
Confident? You’re nowhere near confident—you’re terrified. You try to keep your cool, but it’s probably the first time you’re putting on an act in front of Izuku.
“Well, you’re not so bad at it yourself.” You don’t miss the little blush coating his cheeks at that. “Also, I’m not exactly naked.”
“You’re not exactly dressed either, that’s a...v-very small piece of clothing.” He’s blushing a bit harder, looking away.
“Oh, seems like you paid some attention to my piece of clothing then, good to know.”
Now he’s quite simply scarlet. A very cute, very hot, freckled tomato. He’s so easily flustered, it only makes you want to tease him some more.
“Were your legendary All Might boxers in the dirty hamper? That’s a shame. I’m a bit disappointed,” you say in a mockingly innocent voice.
He doesn’t retort, simply stands there on his knees, shooting you an unreadable look and a little pout. After a few seconds, you open your mouth to continue, only to be startled by a strong splash hitting you in the face.
When you snap out of your shock, hair and face dripping all over your shoulders, you look up at him with what must be the scariest look of betrayal. Or the most ridiculous, apparently, since he starts laughing, louder and louder, and can’t seem to stop.
“Oh, you’re pretty pleased with yourself right now, aren’t you?” You can’t help but chuckle while talking, his laugh is so contagious.
“I am, yeah!” he manages to articulate, only starting to calm down.
As the calm of the forest returns, you watch his eyes go back to their usual round shape bit by bit, his face relaxing again. His smile causes butterflies to fly up and around in a whirlwind deep into your belly. You chuckle a bit at the feeling, almost embarrassed by how he’s making you feel like you’re in some dumb, cliche rom-com movie. On the outside, you must look a bit like a maniac, but he’s a nice guy, so he simply asks, “What is it?”
And before you can overthink yourself out of it, you’re hurling yourself at him. He barely has the chance to stutter a weak, “Wait!” before you’re putting all your weight on him, sinking his head deep in the water. Izuku may well be a nice guy, but you know he isn’t going to let you get away with this, so you’re not surprised when you’re dragged underwater by your legs. He lets go immediately, a bit abruptly, even, like it burnt his hands to touch you.
You both emerge from the water soon, and it takes you a second to get rid of the water blurring your vision, but then it hits you. How tantalizingly close you are to each other now, your bodies an inch away from touching. You’re both on your knees, enveloped in the coolness of crystal clear water and the reflections of the canopy of leaves above your heads. A spark of electricity makes you freeze on the spot; you’re so close to him your breasts slightly brush against his chest.
After a little eternity, you find the courage to look up at his face. He looks mindblowing, really. Despite the two decades you spent together, you’re not sure you’ve ever seen the pure, astonishing details of his freckles from this close. You would remember it, you definitely would. It’s a spectacular view, one of those visual memories that comes back to hit you in flashes. His nose and cheekbones are covered in them, drawing a mesmerizing pattern, more complex than the Milky Way itself. They’re an uncrackable equation, like a weird quirk of nature that you’ll never understand but don’t question anyway. They spread a little more scattered, but still very present, up to his forehead and down to his delicate jaw.
And his eyes—you could just drown in them. There’s this bright, blinding light there that feels like laying in the grass and looking up at the sunlight coating the leaves of this tree, the one you grew up near and always played under.
You swear you didn’t move, neither did he, and still you manage to get even closer to him. Now it’s you against the inexorable attraction that pulls you towards him like a fierce magnet. And it’s a losing battle, you think, as you’re both entering each other’s personal space like you share just one.
There’s nothing friendly about the way he can’t look you in the eye, seemingly too obsessed with your lips. You drop your gaze to his and find them calling for you. It’s been so long, now the thought of kissing Izuku seems unfamiliar despite being ever-present in your imagination for so many years. Like repeating a word so much it ends up becoming a series of meaningless sounds to your confused mind.
He’s the one who finally closes the distance, his lips landing on yours so softly you can barely feel them. He doesn’t move, simply content with the contact. You’re both eight years old again for a minute. The kiss feels like the little peck a kid would finally give to his crush in the middle of their school’s playground before running away to his friends.
Time seems to stop for God knows how long, and after what feels like no time and forever all at once, his lips move hesitantly against yours, bringing you back to reality. Right then, it all crashes on you like a tremendous wave. The distant echo of your mothers’ voices from the kitchen and the stupid cartoons they made you watch so they could talk for ten more minutes. The games alone together because no one wanted to play with you two weirdos. The piggyback rides, the dumb jokes, the video games (you always won). The neverending texting sessions at night because one of you couldn’t sleep. The fights that never lasted long enough to see the next sunrise because you both are way too weak for each other. All those stupid places that wouldn’t have looked half as breathtaking if it weren’t for him.
His lips are soft but roughly bitten. Hot and wet from the water and maybe from something else. He doesn’t taste like anything other than home, and that’s more than enough for you. His hands went up to cup your face at some point, but you’re too drowned in all the feelings coming up to the surface to pay attention to anything other than his soft mouth pressing on yours, more and more, opening up—
And it’s already over. You only notice that you’ve closed your eyes when you open them again when you don’t feel anything against your mouth other than the summer air. When your mind manages to regain any sense of function, the blurry focus of your gaze settles on his eyes. Wide open. Pupils eating up the dazzling viridian that puts the forest to shame. And a terrified expression in them.
He’s looking at you like he hurt you. His lips should still be on yours, kissing and sucking, not frozen like they are right now, obviously trying to express something painful as a few weak sounds pass their barrier before he finally manages to speak:
“Oh—Oh my God, I-I’m s—”
You don’t let him finish his stupid sentence. You don’t think twice before you take his face in your hands and lean in to kiss him again, with shameless intent this time. No more pretending—you’ve been waiting long enough for this and apparently, so has he.
It’s nothing gentle this time when your mouths crash against each other, teeth clashing and lips bruising under the weight of twenty years. You hold to his face like a lifeline, fingers sinking just a bit into his cheekbones, the tip of your nails getting caught in the knots of his dripping hair just above his ears. It’s messy, your noses rubbing before he angles his face better. One of his hands loops around your waist in a tight grip, forcing your chest to crush against his, the other burying in your hair at the base of your skull.
The feeling is electrifying, indescribable. It’s nothing like the pale, miserable depiction of your imagination. It’s discovering life in color when all you’ve always known was black and white.
The water is cool, but his body scorches against yours, burns your skin in the most exquisite way. The kiss is desperate on both parts, but neither of you is confident. His lips suck on yours with tentative motions, and you respond in kind the best you can. They are hungry, starving for flesh but don’t know how to hunt.
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Your hands are gripping more and more of his hair, pulling harder, sending waves of heat all the way down his groin, and he’s not sure he can hide the bulge growing there for much longer.
He has to be sure, he has to be absolutely certain you want this as much as he does, because once he starts, he may not be able to stop. But you feel so good, all pressed against him. Your skin feels so soft under his hand at the small of your back he has to dig his nails in the skin of your waist so he doesn’t cross a line. But the curve just above your ass is begging for him to grip at the tender flesh and squeeze, fill his hands with it. He’s been dreaming about this for so long.
No, he can’t just hurl himself at you like a hunting wolf the first chance he gets—what kind of friend does that?
It takes him every bit of focus he has left to break the kiss, to part away from you. You have to discuss this, he can’t just throw away twenty years of friendship! Now you’re looking up at him with puppy eyes saying, ‘Why won’t you play with me?’ He breathes out a shaky sigh, and begins:
“Um, look. Believe me when I say I’ve wanted this for a very, very long time, and I love you so, so much. As a friend, I mean.” He sees you frown at this, catches a glint of something he doesn’t like in your eyes, then panics. “No, no, no, I mean, a-as a friend, but also more than that, o-obviously. But I don’t know what you want, you might be...d-disappointed, or...um—” His face starts heating up like it hasn’t in ages. He takes another breath, tries to clear up the muddled mess happening in his head. “Look, I just want the best for you, but you look...good, very good, and you’re making things very difficult for me, doing...this—”
“Izuku.” The deafening hubbub filling his mind falls suddenly silent, your voice a comforting, steady rock for him to cling to when his mind is storming out of control.
“Yeah?”
You get even closer to him, since he gradually set some distance while mumbling his anxious thoughts out again. You cup his face in your hands, a gentle, featherlight touch, and look up at him with determination in your eyes. You pull his head down a bit to settle on yours, your foreheads and noses connected, never breaking eye contact. Your lips graze over his, both your breaths mixing there, your voice a quiet whisper as you speak again. “Do you want me?”
Out of the jittery mess of his mind, the answer comes out like evidence, plain and simple: “Yes.”
“Then shut up and kiss me.”
You take action immediately, kissing him once again and this time he doesn’t hesitate to put his—still rather shaky—hands on you. The feeling of you is addicting, pushing his insecurities further in the back of his mind. He starts at your waist, running his thumbs there, feeling the goosebumps rising on your skin. They wander up your spine, counting every single bump of your bones, all the way to your nape. Then dragging them back down to settle on your hips, his fingers digging in the soft flesh. The little sigh you breathe on his lips causes an impressive amount of blood to run straight to his dick. 
Your mouth is distracting, dizzying, sucking on his bottom lip, nipping playfully. His tongue slides over your lips, then against your own when you open up immediately for him. You’re pressing against him even more, your breasts rubbing against his naked chest and he swears you’re going to be the death of him. You’re hanging from his shoulders by now, your arms circling his neck, still gripping a handful of green hair, pulling. You have to stop doing this—he might cum right away. He doesn’t say it aloud, only lets a moan escape him into your mouth.
He wanted this, wanted this for so long, and now that it’s real, it’s beyond everything he could have imagined. The heat of your skin, the weight on his shoulders as you cling to him, your breath in his mouth, your little sighs.
He’s only now noticing that his hands have gone to reach their destination with a mind of their own. They’re on your ass underwater, feeling the white, wet lace, the sole cloth on your entire body—that thing is just there to tempt him. He’s unsure if you like what he’s doing until you release a whimper, louder this time, enough to send a vibration against his mouth (and straight to his cock at the same time).
Suddenly, he wants to taste a lot more of you. You’re all open up to him for the first time—he has to. He trails a series of open-mouthed kisses from the corner of your mouth to your jaw, savoring every little sigh escaping your lips, then to your neck, dragging his tongue up the column of your throat.
The water is fresh all over you, and he doesn’t miss the shivers running up and down your skin at the contact of the twilight breeze. He needs to warm you up, needs to make you feel good, needs everything to be perfect for you. With his hands still on your ass, he trails lower down to your collarbone, allowing some occasional nips on the way that have you shaking. He freezes, looking up at you from there.
“Is this okay?”
The answer comes out breathy, a little desperate: “Yes, yes, please!” It sends a wave of heat all over him, the way you like what he’s doing to you, the way he’s making you feel good.
He’s not experienced or anything, only had a few hookups a couple of times, so he’s not very confident in his capacities, aside from running his hands all over you because that’s how his instincts are manifesting. You know him better than anyone—of course you would know how lost he could be in this kind of situation. But he also knows you’re not much more experienced than him, and that thought is comforting.
He’s experienced in one thing, though. He feels like the worst, filthiest person on the planet for this, but it’s astonishing the number of times he jerked off to the thought of what’s happening right now. How many times did he fuck his hand in the shower thinking about the water trickling down your skin, about licking it off your breasts all the way up to your neck.
So he does what he’s been dying to do for years. your breasts are just above the surface, so he sits on his heels and licks down your chest. When his tongue finally reaches your nipple, giving it a tentative lick, you let out a gasp, encouraging him to get bolder. And he does, closing his mouth on it like it’s the sweetest lollipop; it’s all cold and hard and raised from the water, but it warms up really quickly against the furnace of his mouth. His right hand leaves your ass to cup the neglected other, running his thumb against the bud, squeezing the flesh. That’s when you reach out to bury a hand in his hair, and pull again. God, you can pull on his hair all day and night like this; he’ll never get enough.
His left hand, still on your ass, rises up to the small of your back, feeling you arching more and more, pushing against his mouth. A harder nip has you gasping and he lets his hands run all over you, wandering without direction. It’s messy and urgent; he can’t help it—you feel so good, so soft under his hands. He’s like a kid getting to open his Christmas gifts in the morning after an endless, sleepless night waiting for Santa.
You trail your hand down his chest and his abdomen, a gentle reminder that the power he holds right now could slip through his fingers any moment. He’s willing to give it to you, especially since he doesn’t really know what to do next.
Like you just read his mind, you take his hands in yours, stopping their chaotic race. He’s feeling himself flush a bit—was he going too fast for you? Did he scare you? Or did he just let himself become overwhelmed by his feelings and it didn’t feel good for you? His eyes are looking down directly at your naked chest, he realizes he never took a proper look at them, too busy throwing himself to taste them. They look just as good as they taste, as beautiful as the rest of you.
Tentatively, he raises his eyes to find your reassuring gaze and fond smile. You lead his hands down slowly, setting them on your hips, over the criminal lace fabric preserving your modesty. Your foreheads connect again, but you never break eye contact. Lacing your fingers together, you guide his thumbs into the elastic on both sides, and now that he gets what you’re trying to do, his mind just stops.
Your voice is barely a whisper, a mesmerizing caress on his lips when you speak again. “I think I’ve waited long enough, Zuku.”
Your tone is fond, but you sound so desperate, it’s unbearably cute. His mind fogs up, the smoke of your words filling his skull and he wants to drive you as mad as you drive him. Sure, you’ve waited a lot, but so has he. He isn’t going to rush this, not if he has any say in it.
He slides your panties down your thighs underwater inch by inch. It’s even too slow for him; right now he just wants to rip the stupid piece of lace off of you and fuck you and him both stupid in the water, hard and fast. But even more than that, he wants to take his time with you, wants to take you apart piece by piece. And the testy whine it elicits from you makes it all so worth it.
You shift a bit so he can take your underwear completely off and, in a second, it lays abandoned on the sandy ground of the shore. Just knowing you’re now completely naked in front of him, it sends boiling desire flowing through every single vein in his body. He can’t see that part of you yet, the water darkening along with the sky clouding his view beneath the surface, but nightfall can’t do anything about Izuku’s wild imagination. He’s dizzy, feeling himself slowly falling into a half-conscious daze, but you anchor him right where you are, bringing him back to the reality of your arms hooked around his neck.
He rests his hands on your hips, dragging his fingertips down the soft flesh of them. The idea of touching you down there is making his head spin, he can’t wait any longer.
“Can I—”
“Yes, I want your fingers inside me,” you say before driving your lips back against his.
Without further ado, one of them goes straight to your core, making you jump a bit, breaking the kiss just for a second. He runs his index between your folds, feeling hot slick already coming out of you despite the fresh water around. His touch is light, slow, hesitant as it glides up and down, testing the waters. He’s getting a bit further, putting a bit more pressure with every stroke and earning a few pleased sighs from your heavenly mouth.
He expected a sudden reaction as soon as he found your clit, but that doesn’t mean he was prepared for the drawn-out moan coming out of your gorgeous lips, wet from his mouth and from your dip earlier. He wants to hear that again, every day for the rest of his life. He drags his thumb over it, again and again, slow at first, but then quicker and quicker, and your voice grows louder with every speed-up of his finger.
Your hands go frantic over him, running up his chest and down his abs in repeated motions that feel a lot like it’s lust driving your limbs much more than your mind. You stopped kissing him at some point, your mouth too busy expressing every ounce of pleasure you felt to focus on such basic motions. Your face is buried in his neck, your hot breath crushing against his skin.
He presses his index inside, but he’s so focused on what he’s doing, trying not to hurt you, that he doesn’t notice the shift of your own hand leaning down until he feels it cupping the painful bulge in his boxers. His eyes go wide with a gasp, and when he looks at you, you already have a playful, but intense, gaze piercing right through him.
“Did you think I was gonna let you play all on your own, Zuku?” Your fingers graze over the soaked fabric, down his entire length and to his balls, throwing gasoline on the fire that’s been consuming him for ages. “Don’t be selfish,” you whisper directly in his ear as your hands slip his underwear down his thighs.
As soon as the piece of cloth gets to join your forgotten panties on the shore, you wrap your pretty hand around him. And when you start stroking, his eyes roll so hard he swears he can see the inside of his skull. It feels better than he ever could have imagined; it’s blistering, astonishing. The only idea his brain can manage to work out right now is that he wants you to feel just as good.
He only notices now that his fingers stopped moving, and they go right back to a steady pace, but it’s a matter of seconds before he drives another finger into you. Soon, you’re both fucking the life out of each other with your hands. You’re sucking and nipping at his ear, and every single moan he draws out of you ends up turning against him, breaking into the defenses he built year after year by your side. He’s simply fucking into your hand now. He can’t help it, you feel so good. He doesn’t even want to think about what it’s going to feel like to fuck into your tight little cunt, he might cum hard just from the thought of it.
The spongy spot he finds inside you feels like he just struck gold. It’s glorious, the sounds you make right now, higher, louder. You’re tightening around his fingers, but it’s okay—you can crush them for all he cares. He wants you to moan higher for him, wants you to keep riding his fingers like your life depends on it.
“Izuku, ah—I’m close, I’m so close, please…”
“I got you, baby. I got you, shit—”
He quickens the pace again, feels like his fingers are gonna fall off his hand the moment he gets them out of you, but fuck, what his princess wants, his princess is gonna get. Your orgasms shatter the both of you to pieces, and in the bliss of his high, he can hear some birds flying away, scared by the harmonious, but probably very loud, song of your combined moans.
While his cum strikes out by ropes into the water, his clouded mind can only think about one thing.
He needs more of you.
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You can barely stand on your knees, worn out from cumming the hardest you have in your entire life. You actually have to lean on Izuku so you don’t fall into the water head first like some boneless ragdoll. You just let your forehead rest on his shoulder and count the freckles there, splattered in a fascinating work of abstraction.
But apparently, he has other plans. You’re swiftly lifted up and out of the water, huge scarred hands firmly holding the back of your thighs that immediately come to circle his waist.
“Oh, nice. I don’t mind getting carried around like a baby. Where are we going?”
“Not far,” he says with a little grin, walking out of the water. “Do you think you’ll be able to walk?” His voice holds a sarcastic tone, one you’re not used to hearing out of Izuku’s angel mouth.
“I think I can manage, yeah.”
He drops you to stand on your legs, and immediately goes for his backpack. The sun has just set, its last rays of light filling the pink sky over your heads. You can still easily make out everything around you, and Izuku’s body is no exception.
You’re watching him with a raised eyebrow, letting your shameless gaze follow every curve you couldn’t see underwater. The day he started exercising in high school was the day you knew it was over for you. It was the day you couldn’t deny what you felt anymore, you couldn’t deny your best friend was everything you needed, and everything you wished for. The physical factor was only a—very pleasant— addition to the list of things that made you fall hard for Izuku Midoriya.
Your eyes linger over his impressive figure, staring at the dimples at the small of his back. You always knew they were here, but you never allowed yourself to look at them, to imagine how they would grow repeatedly hollow with every thrust of his hips into you.
He finally digs out what he was looking for: a plaid picnic blanket, because of course he would have one in there. He’s wearing a little victorious smile when he stands and turns around to spread it on a grassy spot that looks a lot more comfortable than the hard ground. He turns back to you but averts his gaze to the side, hardly looking directly at you for more than a second at a time. The heat of his gaze tracing your curves through quick glances pools deep in your core. 
“You know you can look, right?” You sure aren’t refraining from doing so after all.
His face reaches its usual redness—hasn’t he learned anything from making you cum like crazy with just his fingers? It’s cute nonetheless; Izuku will never change.
He doesn’t answer your rhetorical question, only gives you a shy command in that tentative, very cute voice of his.
“Could you lay down on this for me?”
You saw this coming, but still, you’re a bit surprised he’s asking you that out loud. You gladly oblige with your legs pressed together, slightly bent. It’s another golden opportunity to tease him a bit:. “This isn’t exactly the right use for this blanket. Aren’t we supposed to eat on this?”
He smiles at the ground while kneeling at your feet.
“Maybe that’s exactly what I’m planning to do.”
Your sly smile fades away. His tone is a contradictory mix of shyness and determination, so it’s a bit confusing but also unbearably hot—you swear an astounding wave of heat is crashing through your deepest parts, untouched, just from some words and a funny tone. You rub your thighs together before he grabs and parts them to slip himself between them.
He crawls over you and leans down to kiss you, a bit more confident than earlier. His hips are pressing between your legs, where you can feel his hardness best.
He’s rutting more and more against you as the kiss intensifies. You could think it’d be a lot less exciting now that you know he’s going to eat you out, there’d be no suspense. Wrong. The little shit apparently likes to tease you to death, because he left your lips to kiss your face, nip at your neck, suck at your ears. Dragging his devilish hands everywhere, pressing harder each time you get louder. An especially heavy whine makes him buck hard, his mouth back against yours.
“The more impatient you get, the slower it’s gonna be,” he murmurs against your lips, and starts to make his way down to where you want him, kissing every inch of you, clouding your mind with desire. It’s way too much and still not enough; it’s maddening. When he finally reaches down, you’re on the verge of a second orgasm like you hadn’t just come down a few minutes ago.
He’s holding your thighs apart in a firm grip. Just the touch of his fingers burns your skin deliciously, and the look he’s giving you from between your legs...his eyes are clouded, half-lidded, looking at the part of you he’s never gotten to see before. It feels like he’s been looking forever and just a second at the same time.
He finally dips into you, leaving butterfly kisses all over your inner thighs, punctuated by little nips, nuzzling the soft skin. He’s not looking you in the eye anymore, his gaze lingering all over your body—all over except for your face. You can make out a slight blush on his cheeks despite the dimness all around. You know him better than anyone, so you immediately recognize what’s going on in his mind just from the slightest hint in his eyes. He looks like he’s fighting a battle against himself, his shyness against his hunger. And you know who you’re both rooting for.
He finally gives in, and it takes your breath away. A single, slight lick on your clit and you’re gone. And the next ones, more and more intense, more and more hungry, push you further to tumble over your edge. He grunts into your heat, multiple times. Moans like he’s the one squirming under your mouth.
His hands hold a firm grip on your hips, squeezing the flesh and keeping you in place—he doesn’t even give you an inch to move. You can only take and take and take. But you still have the luxury of your free hands, and they rush to bury in the knots of his messy wet curls, your nails dragging, scratching his scalp.
His lips close on your clit and suck just a bit, and before you can refrain, you pull on his hair, hard. He gasps, and the moment you think you hurt him, he breathes his loudest moan, right into you. You’re filled with the vibrations—they spread all over your body, have you throwing your head back, trembling from head to toe.
The louder you are, the hungrier he gets, filling you with his insatiable tongue. You have to look at him right now. And you expected quite a show, but you certainly weren't prepared to see this—him rutting against the ground like an animal. You realize he’s getting off just from your taste, just from eating you out. His hips roll repeatedly, making you salivate just to the thought of those same hips bucking into yours, fucking you into oblivion. And the more he ruts, the louder he gets.
Now if he wants to moan, you’re going to give him a good reason to. 
You hint for him to face you with a light tug on his hair. As soon as he’s back up, he dives in to kiss you. You don’t let him. In a second he’s on his back with you seated on his hips.
“What did I say about letting you play on your own, hm?”
The ‘deer caught in headlights’ look is so cute on him. And the rest is a marvel to look at. You’re straddling him and he has no other choice than to let you devour him with your eyes—not that he couldn’t bounce you off of him with just a thrust of his hips, but he already would have if he wanted to. You let your gaze wander mindlessly over him—it’s surreal. There’s no way he’s actually under you, waiting for you to please him back with his mouth and jaw still shining with your juices. It has to be a dream—it’s always been after all.
You shift so you’re straddling his parted thighs. You can finally take a look at him. The whole thing, that is. His cock is resting against his lower stomach, hard and swollen and thick. It’s a pretty, bright pink, shining with pre-cum at the tip. Your mouth waters just at the sight of it.
He’s looking down at you, his face as flushed as his dick, that usual blush still exquisitely coating his freckles. You take him in your hand, dive in to give a lick to the tip and his head falls back down with a whimper. You let your tongue drag over the whole length on the underside, and your lips close around the tip in a wet smooch. His hips jerk up a bit, startling you.
You finally take him whole in your mouth, and you can feel his whole body tensing under you. You start bobbing up and down, going a bit further each time, earning a series of shameless moans because this boy is loud. You expected him to express himself during sex since he’s such a mumbler—and frankly, it was always one of your biggest fantasies, hearing him come undone because of you, lose any sense of shame and self-restriction when he’s such a anxious person otherwise.
But you could’ve thought about it every night and day and still never be ready for this. It’s sinful. His hand goes to grab your hair just like you did to him, and now you get why he liked it so much. The feel of his nails scratching your scalp is electrifying, soothing and destructive at the same time.
Your tongue hits a precise spot just under the tip and he jerks up again, nearly screams, “Fuck—yes, right there, please—d-do that again!”
And you do, you can only oblige—he asked so nicely. Your lips go up and down, over and over, your tongue grazing this spot with a bit more pressure every single time. You squint over him, and what you find there is a mess. Trying so hard not to buck into your mouth but failing miserably. Sounding like he’s at Heaven’s gate.
“Easy, Zuku. You’re gonna scare the birds away,” you chuckle against him, your lips brushing the tip, dripping with your saliva and pre-cum.
“Do I need to remind you…how loud you were for me earlier?” He’s looking back down at you as he speaks, a tremble in his voice telltale of his approaching climax. “You sounded...so good, baby, I swear...wanna hear you again, wanna make you scream, just for me, fuck—”
You can feel yourself soaking the blanket, can feel the slick trickle down your folds and stain the plaid cotton. Is he aware of what he’s doing? Or is he just saying whatever is going through his chaotic mind? In any case it has you starving. So you let go of his cock and, before he can protest, crawl back to his face and kiss him desperately. Tasting both of your fluids in a mindblowing mix.
You pull back just enough to be able to speak, because you need him to understand you loud and clear when you say:  “Please, Izuku, I need you inside me, I’ve waited so long. Please.”
“Okay, okay, fuck—” He cuts himself off, his eyes slightly drooping like a sad puppy. “I-I don’t have any condoms.”
“You mean you probably have pads in there for me but no condoms?” you say with your eyebrows raised, your mocking tone hinting at a teasing remark, far from criticism.
He frowns in confusion. “How do you know I have pads in there?”
“So the legend turns out to be true. After all these years—”
“Shut up, you’re impossible,” he chuckles heatlessly, resting his hands on your back.
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill,” you assure him with a soft tone.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m pretty sure I’m on the pill, yeah.”
He rolls his eyes, then clarifies, a hint of hesitation clear in his voice.
“No I mean...you’re sure you wanna do this?” He marks a brief pause, takes a short breath. “With me?”
You don’t even think before answering, it slips your mouth like it’s not even your own words: “I don’t want it with anyone else.”
There’s a silence.
“Fuck, that sounds cheesy,” you scoff, looking away.
“It does, but we’re both cheesy idiots, apparently.”
You look back at him. His smile is so fond, so loving; it melts your heart in the best way.
“I wanna be your cheesy idiot,” you say against his mouth, looking right into his eyes, willing to fall in them.
“You always have been,” he nearly whispers. It fills your stomach with familiar warmth, intense and overwhelming, comforting.
There’s a bittersweet taste in your mouth, one of regret and lost time and God, we’re idiots.
Now it’s about time you make up for it all.
You look down at him, rolling your hips against him, dripping all over his cock, coating him in your juices.
“I think I asked you something, didn’t I?”
A whimper escapes him at the feeling. His hips buck up slightly, hands gripping at your back. When you do it again, you don’t get the chance to see his reaction; you’re on your back again, him towering over you, his thigh between your legs.
He’s looking at you with something in his eyes you don’t recognize, but the tone he speaks with has your entire body quaking.
“And you’re gonna get it, sweetheart.”
He holds himself over his left forearm, his hand thumbing at your cheek while the other strokes the whole length of your thigh. Your noses are brushing, your breaths crashing together. Your hands hold tight to his nape, playing with the short hair mindlessly as you’re waiting to be filled, finally.
You feel the stretch instantly. You try to focus on those mesmerizing emerald gems he calls eyes. They look right through your soul, eating you up and you barely feel the pain. He’s taking it slow, inch by inch, giving you all the time you need, caressing your cheek with a tender stroke of his thumb.
“Relax for me, baby.”
Izuku’s voice is a soothing sound over the incessant chirping of the grasshoppers. It was always one of your favorite things to hear, its every tone another blessing to your ears. It’s loving when he asks if you’re okay, comforting when he whispers sweet nothings to you as you cry on his shoulder, heartening when he’s going on about anything he’s passionate about.
He’s kissing every part of skin he has access to, over your face, your jaw, your neck. You feel yourself relaxing around him, and roll your hips up to give him the hint.
When he starts moving it’s still slow and careful. He doesn’t break eye contact, so you can see his every reaction, and he can see all yours. His hand is still playing with your hair, even as his pace speeds up with every second. The weight of him over you feels amazing, it holds him close against you, countless parts of you both rubbing together: your chests, your stomachs, your thighs. He doesn’t even have a lot of space to move. But getting to touch and get touched by him like this, it's incredible. You always had him so close to you, always right there and still so out of reach.
You still need more; you’re insatiable. You need to see him come undone under you, because of you. You push him to roll on his back, and you end up straddling him, setting the pace yourself. You start bouncing up and down on his cock, taking balance on the hard planes of his abs. He immediately reaches up to grab your hips, guiding you along.
His face tenses up, frowning, his nose wrinkling, his lips parted just to let out a series of breathy sighs. He looks wrecked and dizzy and stunning. He’s keeping his eyes open, fixed up on you, specifically on your breasts, bouncing with your every motion. And you can feel his gaze on your skin just as much as you feel his hands gripping harder at the flesh below your hips.
“Eyes up here, Zuku,” you coo with two fingers pointed at your eyes.
He doesn’t answer, only sits up easily and wraps his arms around your waist.
“You look so amazing, you have no idea what you do to me,” he says with a trembling voice, filled with bliss.
Your heart misses a beat at his words, they fill you with warmth and comfort because he definitely doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing to you. He delves his face into your neck, kissing and nuzzling, his breath coming shorter and shorter, crashing against your skin and his hands running all over you. The sound of his hoarse voice resonates through the forest and through your soul, echoing an enchanting song.
With little effort, he puts you back under him so he can pound into you with full force, and your legs immediately come up to wrap around his waist, pulling him deeper. Your hands grab his hair, tugging to see if you get the same reaction as earlier, and it doesn’t miss: he lets out a groan right into your ear, speeding up his pace again.
The sky is dark now, and all you can hear are his moans and yours and the slap of your hips coming together repeatedly. Your head is thrown back when he grabs you by the hair, forcing you to turn your head and face him.
“Look at me. I wanna see you.”
“Izuku, I’m gonna—”
“I know, baby. Let go for me, come on.”
Just the feel of his hand trailing down your stomach awakens something in you, this familiar pressure growing tight in your belly. And when his fingers reach your clit, a couple of strokes are enough to have you screaming his name, tightening around him, and pulling him towards his climax with you. His thrusts come franticly as you milk him dry, clawing desperately at his back, panting in his mouth as he leaned down to kiss you through both your climaxes.
As soon as he comes down, he rolls over on his side, still laying close to you, an arm thrown over you. You both take a minute to catch your breaths and, weirdly enough, you don’t hear anything aside from your panting. You really must have scared the birds away. Izuku breaks the silence first.
“Do you wanna...sleep at my place?”
He’s looking over at you and, despite the sky getting dark, you can easily imagine the blush coating his cheeks right now, like he didn’t make you scream his name, drunk on his cock two minutes ago.
You can’t repress your fond smile at his proposition.
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
You take a minute to gather your clothes from all over the place and get dressed, then grab your bag to tug it over your shoulder.
“You got everything?”
Izuku is waiting for you just outside the trees. You take a quick look around, making sure you haven’t forgotten anything, and turn around without a second look at the place.
Because although it was your first time setting foot here, it definitely won’t be the last; you will come back here with Izuku every chance you get, making it your shared secret, your own little wonderland.
You gladly take the hand he’s offering, making him blush a little harder, and you head straight back into the forest together.
You walk side by side as a comfortable silence settles, only disturbed by the grasshoppers’ incessant, boisterous chirping. The sky is utterly dark now, you can make out a few stars shining above the dense trees. You walk at a steady pace, but Izuku is going a bit faster with every step. Soon enough, he’s walking a bit ahead of you, still holding your hand. Another golden occasion to tease his eagerness.
“Are we in a hurry, Zuku?”
In the dark of the night, you struggle to make out the look on his face as he turns around to look at you. A second later, he’s running, and with your hand firmly held in his, you can’t do much but try to follow along. You giggle as you run, and it quickly grows into a belly-deep laughter. He’s fast, doesn’t get tired, but you follow him anyway, probably as eager as he is. You have to zig-zag so you don’t run straight into the massive trees standing in your way.
You get to the car in no time, but you’re both out of breath when you finally get in your respective seats, ready to go home.
Izuku doesn’t even wait to catch his breath before he starts the car, the engine roaring loudly in the silence of the night, probably scaring the birds away for the upteenth time that night. You catch his happy grin in the headlights glow before he heads back into the road.
You have a feeling the night is not over; you’ve only got twenty years to make up for after all.
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uselesssomebody · 3 years
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𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 𝕙𝕚𝕞 𝕒 𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕠𝕟 - steve x reader | bucky x reader
complete masterlist | mcu masterlist | bucky barnes masterlist | steve rogers masterlist
𝕚 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕤
𝕤𝕙𝕖’𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕕
𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕚’𝕞 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕔𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕠𝕦𝕥 " - greetings from california | beach bunny
➵ part one of the ‘greetings from california’ miniseries
words || 𝟚.𝟟𝕜
summary || in which steve's been looking at her instead of the reader
a/n || i know i'm writing too much bucky rn but i gotta get him outta my system ➵ this is a 40s!steve x reader (established relationship) and a 40s!bucky x reader - !! this is not a stucky x reader !! ➵ this is the first part of a (short) series. the next part will be smut. if that makes you uncomfortable - a general summary of plot points will be included in part 3 so that you can catch up without exposure to explicit content ➵ originally called 'greetings from california (I)' ➵ hope you enjoy!
continuation || part two, part three
warnings || angst/fluff ➵ reader's gonna be a lil stupid in this ➵ there are allusions to cheating (both the reader and steve) ➵ there are insinuations of sex. nothing explicit is mentioned.
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he hadn’t looked at me once tonight.
of course, why would he? when she was wearing that gorgeous dress - paired with her perfect curls and intriguing smile. she was catching everyone’s attention, the red fabric a dark wine in the low lights of the bar.
we’d come here in silence, me draped on his arm just as i was supposed to. but, the moment his eyes fell on her - and the almost too-soft gasp escaped his lips - i knew there was no point in appearances anymore. we greeted her together, me cowering in the obvious chemistry between the two.
oh my god. he has more chemistry with her than his own girlfriend. it made me swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry. she detached from us quickly, ready to greet the others, but steve’s eyes never left her.
“d’you know she was coming?” his question is a little breathy - he looks dazed.
“who, peggy? no, no i didn’t.” she may have mentioned it at some point, but i barely listened to her anymore. we used to talk often, but whenever i was near her nowadays, she just served as a burning reminder for steve’s growing disinterest.
he’d left my side nearly a half-hour ago, speaking with friends, colleagues, her. i’d left myself to the bar, placing my warm palms onto cold wood counter.
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i knew him long before the serum. the first impression he made on me was just how sweet he was. a downright sweetheart: polite, well-mannered and handy with a compliment. i think i also remember thinking about just how genuine he was. the compliments and comments never felt misguided - moreso honest observations he was making and then sharing. he had a sense of humor - it was a bit self-depricating, but made me laugh nonetheless.
he never tried anything in those days. he respected our friendship too much - i’d assumed. i later realized, upon him telling me, that he was more worried about my reputation. the night he told me about his concerns had me close to tears - he’d always considered his less masculine appearance to be a burden that he carried, and not one he wanted to inflict on me.
i remember our last time together before the serum. he’d been slipping away more often, and he was being wildly secretive about something. for a while, i thought he may have found himself a lucky girl - and was worried for my reaction. that was, until, he came over to mine.
it’d been a rainy night, and his soaked-to-the-bone appearance as he graced my front door caused me to immediately start panicking. i ushered him in quickly, setting some water to boil as i looked for towels for him. picking out two, i gave them to him.
after i finished making some tea, i slid him a glass and forced him to sit down. he was panting, his eyes squeezing shut now and again.
“did you run here?” my voice was soft, not betraying the worry i felt. steve acted erratically whenever he could, forgetting the effect it would have on him due to his conditions.
“no!” it came out as a wheeze, leading me to continue being suspicious.
“yeah, sure. don’t talk for a bit, warm up.” i nodded towards his cup, and he took it graciously.
we drank in silence, the rain still pattering against my windows. his form was much drier than when he’d come in, and his breathing much more constant. as i see him tip his cup up to gulp down the last few drops, i finally ask him the question on my mind.
“so, what’re you doing here?” i see him tense a little before placing his cup down.
“i- uh, i…” he pauses, trying to collect his thoughts, “i needed to see you.” his voice is serious, and makes me worry a little.
“why, is something wrong?”
“no - well, i don’t think so. i - i sorta got a job.” my face lights up a bit. i knew he’d been feeling bad about his inability to directly contribute on the front lines - but he’d finally found something he was satisfied with! in a deeper part of my mind, though, i was also hoping this ruined my ‘found a girlfriend’ theory.
“that’s great! what do they have you doing?”
“i can’t really tell you that.” my nose scrunches in confusion.
“what? why?”
“it’s military work - i think it’s pretty confidential.” my face drops. did he actually manage to get enlisted? he must’ve noticed my worry, and he straightened his statement out, “uh, it’s some behind-the-scenes, experimental stuff. i’m not going anywhere - yet.” the last part is a bit strained - but i’m too relieved he wasn’t leaving.
“oh, thank god. you came here to tell me?”
“well, not exactly. um, they’ve got me doing some stuff tomorrow - and i don’t really know how it’s gonna go so… i guess i just wanted to see you. for luck.” my cheeks heat up a bit, “i’ve only got a little more time - they want me back soon. i just needed you to know.” i’m a little confused at this point. it all sounds a bit ominous - almost dark - but steve wasn’t crazy. and this was the military - they had to have some safety regulations, right?
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he stays for another hour. we spend our time talking - and listening to music. it felt like we were back to where we were before his period of silence, and it felt so damn comfortable. i mourned the ending of our time together, but he laughed softly, insisting that ‘they’ - whoever they were - needed him back. reluctantly walking him to my door, i leaned on the doorframe as he slipped on his coat. the rain had stopped, but i knew it was still cold outside.
“i guess i’ll see you after all this.”
“promise?” my tone is teasing, but my question is fully serious. he laughs a bit, looking down, and i pull him into a hug. i sink my face into his neck, letting myself refamiliarize with his touch. he pulls his face away, and i look at him. his eyes have a serious hardness in them, and i’m worried he’s going to say something decidedly profound and much too grave for the atmosphere we were sharing. but what he does do surprises me.
he leans his head so it’s at level with mine, and pulls my lips to his. there’s a moment of shock, where i still, and he starts moving away. i quickly pull him back - my hands cupping his pink cheeks. it’s soft - not demanding, and not anything more than it needs to be. i finally pull away, the tips of our noses still grazing against each other.
“m’sorry, i just needed to do that.” i let out a breathy giggle at his comment.
“and thank god for it.”
his smile as he walks out of my door is the same as the one i have on my face - giddy.
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it’d been a little over a week - and i was itching to see him again. but, knowing the nature of whatever he was doing, i tried to gave him as much space as possible.
it was a similarly rainy evening, and i was preparing a meal for myself. it’d been a tiring day - and i was looking forward to finishing it curled up under the covers with a book in hand.
the glass i was holding nearly slips out of my grip when i hear the doorbell ring. i couldn’t think of who would be coming this late. well, i could, but i immediately shoved that thought aside - so as to not disappoint myself.
i scramble to get it, and, as it swings open, i’m met with a firm, muscular chest. i look up - and an eerily familiar face is looking down at me.
“hey, y/n.” i choke - the accent and softness of his voice unmistakable.
“steve?” his face breaks into a wide grin, his arms going out to embrace me. tentatively, i let him wrap them around my waist - him actually having to lean down to find a comfortable hold on me. i could feel his biceps at my sides, and his large fingers hung at the small of my back. it felt weird. not bad, just new - i guess. he finally releases me, and i let out a breath - still taking in his new appearance, “what happened?”
“you know that experimental military stuff i was talking about?” i nodded.
“‘f course,” my eyes widen, “is that what caused this?” he furrows his eyebrows.
“you didn’t know?” i gape at him.
“know? how would i know?”
“the papers! the trial was all over the papers!” i narrowed my eyes a little, wracking my brain. i always read headlines passively - usually too depressed to read any of the actual articles.
that’s when it hit me. i distinctly remembered, the day after the last time i saw steve, a headline about a heroic act against a german spy. i hadn’t read the article, but i did remember seeing a somewhat blurry picture of someone with light hair - someone who looked just like the person in front of me.
“that was you?” his lips turn into a smile - the type where he didn’t want to laugh, but still found my response funny.
“yeah - yeah, that was me.” i let out a exhale, shaking my head at the newfound knowledge.
“steven grant rogers. oh my god - you’re going to tell me everything.”
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i had dragged him into my apartment that night. he explained everything - the serum, the procedures, dr. erskine, how they’d had him doing several tests for the past few days.
he finally got around to the real reason why he’d come to see me.
“the senator’s got me doing a tour - to promote the military, i guess?” i can feel my face fall a bit.
“you’re leaving?” he nods.
“yeah - which is why i wanted to ask you. look,” he pauses, inhaling, before looking at me, “i dunno, y/n. i’ve liked you for a long time.” there’s a harsh swallow, “i’ve loved you.”
there’s a silence. there’s a hint of a smile on my lips, and i’m shocked by his final admission of his feelings.
“you do?” he grips my hand, bringing it closer to him. his fingers are perfectly warm against mine - and his massive hand engulfs mine.
“course i do. and i know this is real damn selfish of me, but - i want you to come with me. while i’m doing this for the senator.” i’m quiet. it’s not that i’m thinking about the offer - i’d leave the measly life i lead in a heartbeat if it meant i’d stay with him. i’m just a bit stunned. he must take my silence as a need to elaborate, as he continues, “i - i guess i just wanna know i can see you - that we can actually try this out. i’m sorry if it’s forward, i really didn’t-”
“yes.” he stops his inevitable ramble at my answer, “of course i will, steve.”
his smile lights up my dim apartment.
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over the course of the tour, i was introduced to several interesting characters. some, i became close with - like the witty howard stark.
others seemed like the type to never speak directly to (the senator). nevertheless, the experience of having steve at my side - introducing me as his girlfriend - is one i’d never trade.
which is why it made it that much worse when i realized his gaze didn’t linger on me anymore. his eyes never shone when we spoke anymore.
that wasn’t to say those things never happened.
but now, they happened for her.
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i knew i looked like an idiot. i knew everyone else knew - and that whatever semblance of a relationship that i had with steve was crumbling.
and now, here i was. sitting at a empty bar, nursing a strong drink while my boyfriend smiled more than he ever had before. with another woman.
i never knew i’d curse my friend for introducing me to steve.
but fuck you, bucky barnes.
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i’d known barnes just a bit longer than i knew steve. we were coworkers for a bit - he cleaned at a restaurant i waitressed at. we ended up getting to talking during one of my closing shifts.
he was a sweet-talker, for sure. he wasn’t bad to look at - but his cheeky smile and even cheekier comments made me both grimace and flush. although i wasn’t necessarily interested in his advances, he was one of the funnier guys i knew, so we settled to be friends.
that is to say, we barely spoke. after he quit the job, we’d meet through mutual friends and randomly at shops. he’d introduced me to steve the during one of those run-ins, the blond unfortunately dwarfed by the brunet.
he wasn’t a bad guy - steve loved him, and i loved steve. so, it just makes sense for me like him too.
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i was jolted out of my pathetic condition by a baritone voice.
“hey - y/n?” i shake my head, looking up at him. i feel the alcohol in my veins, warming me up oh-so-perfectly.
“bucky! hey!” i scrunch my eyebrows exaggeratedly, “i thought you died!” he chuckles.
“nope - you guys can’t get rid of me that easily. where’s steve?” i can feel my face flush with anger - the mere mention of his name pissing me off exponentially.
“he’s out there - probably dancing with peggy.” her name is spit with venom, and i raise my glass for another long gulp. upon seeing what i’m trying, bucky yanks the glass down, my arm following. he spins me around, a hard look in his eyes as he checks my inebriated state.
there’s a pause. maybe? i wasn’t sure for how long he stayed silent, but i took the time to really look at the man in front of me.
his lips were red. i knew he’d had a couple drinks too, but was handling it much better than me. his cheeks were a much lighter shade, but the color was still prominent. his jaw was clenched, jawline prominent as he surveyed me. there was a little unkempt stubble that looked weirdly good on him. his hair, much more tidy than it’d probably been in weeks, looked fluffy and soft to the touch. and goddamn, those eyes. they had a steely color to them, but the aura and intensity of his gaze had me flushing even more than before.
since when did bucky look this good?
“since your boyfriend stopped paying attention to you.” my eyes widened at his response, making me clasp my hand over my mouth as i realized i’d said it out loud.
“how much did you hear?” my question is squeaky and muffled by my hand.
“eh, fluffy hair - pretty eyes. oh, yeah, you started drooling at some point-” i quickly swipe my hand over my mouth, cringing as i felt my lipstick smudge, “god, doll - i was joking.” i huff, rolling my eyes.
“not the time, barnes.” he chuckles a little more, before bringing his thumb to my lips. he gently attempts to clean up the smudge under my bottom lip, placing his own lip between his teeth. i try my best to look anywhere but his mouth, finding my way back to looking at his eyes.
he finally moves his finger away, but he leans in once more.
“y’know? you sure do stare a lot, considering that your dating my best friend.” i gasp at the bluntness of his statement, but quickly compose myself.
“well, you said it yourself. your best friend isn’t paying attention to me.” his gaze turns hard again - his expression is serious.
“fuck, y/n. you know you don’t deserve that. i’d beat the punk up myself, but…”
“he’d actually be a threat now?” he smiles in agreement. the cheeky grin on his face causing a burst of confidence to wash over me, “y’know, i’m sure there’s another way to teach him a lesson.” he looks back at me, irises a little darker than usual.
“don’t start something you’ll regret, doll.”
“i’d argue you started it. you already regretting it?”
“will i?” i pull my lip between my teeth.
“wanna find out?”
216 notes · View notes
courageous-she · 3 years
Text
Needing You- Charlie Gillespie
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Charlie x female reader
Summary: You’re having a rough day and go to your best friend for some comfort
Word Count: 3037
Author’s Note: I haven’t really written in a while but became a SIMP for this boy after watching JATP. Here’s something I thought up while I should have been working at work. Also the formatting may have gotten a little wonky so sorry for that. Um anyway, hope you enjoy!
**
You: Hey, are you home? Charlie: Yeah, why, what’s up? You: Can we hang out? I don’t really want to be alone rn Charlie: Sure thing! I can come over? You: Actually, can I come over? I don’t feel like being in my apartment rn Charlie: Of course, doors unlocked <3
You locked your phone, resting it on your chest and letting out a long sigh. Life had just been hitting too hard lately, so you texted Charlie hoping he’d be able to distract you and take your mind off of things. You simply needed some quality time with your best friend and to not think about everything going on in your life right now. Luckily, Charlie was always down to hang out and was always flexible on what the two of you would do.
You lifted your head just enough from your starfish position on your bed to glance over your outfit. You’d changed into your comfy clothes when you got home a few hours ago. These would be fine, Charlie has seen you in worse clothes, and probably in an overall worse state than this. Shrugging, you stood from your bed and grabbed your keys, making your way over to the bus stop at the end of your street. 
Quietly opening the door to Charlie and Owen’s apartment, you carefully left your shoes at the door. You looked up and noticed Owen and Jeremy sitting on the couch in the small apartment living room. “Hey, Y/N” Owen and Jeremy said at the same time, both giving a quick nod of the head. You waved back, making your way down the hallway to Charlie’s room. It wasn’t odd for you to come over to the boy’s apartment, so Owen and Jeremy didn’t question it. Owen was more used to your frequent visits than Jeremy because Owen actually lived there, but both boys knew how close you and Charlie are so it would be odd if you didn’t show up at some point during the week.
Charlie’s door was open a crack, a low light creeping out into the hallway. You pushed the door open just enough to slide your body through, and closed it when you were all the way inside. 
“Hey” Charlie said softly, sitting up slightly in his bed and closing his laptop. Instead of responding, you pulled the covers back on his bed and slid under. Charlie watched you, slightly confused, but lifted his arm for you when you began to crawl under it resting your head on his chest. His arm around you hugged you closer, while his other hand came around to rest on top of yours that was resting on his stomach. 
“Y/N? Is everything okay?” he asked, voice soft. You shook your head ‘no’ on his chest. “Do you want to talk about it?” Again, you shook your head. Charlie’s chest rose up before he let out a long sigh. It wasn’t often you got like this, but when you did it always broke Charlie a little inside. “What can I do to help?” “Is it okay if we just lay here for a while?” you finally said.
“Yeah, ‘course it is. Want me to put on a movie for background noise or somethin’?” Charlie asked, leaning over slightly to grab his tv remote. You simply nodded a ‘yes’ against his chest, knowing he would just choose a movie for the two of you. 
Charlie ended up choosing “Onward”, a Disney movie was bound to put a smile on your face, he thought. The two of you silently watched the movie, staying in relatively the same position. As the movie was coming to a close, tears began to make their way down your face, landing on Charlie’s shirt. He looked down when he began to feel the wet spot on his chest. Moving so he could see your face better, Charlie smirked at your current state.
“Are you crying?” Charlie asked, the goofy smirk not leaving his face. You lifted your head from his chest, glancing between his smirking expression and the puddle on his chest. 
“What? He never got to meet his dad! After all that!!” you said, pouting out your bottom lip so you didn’t start sobbing. Charlie chuckled before sitting back and pulling you back into him.
“Haven’t you seen this before? You knew this was coming” he replied while turning his attention back to the screen.
“Just because I’ve seen it already doesn’t make it any less sad, Char.” But he could tell by the tone in your voice that you weren’t talking about the movie anymore. He grabbed the remote, stopping the end credits. You started to sit up, wiping the remnants of tears from your face.
“Are you ready to talk about it?” he asked, voice soft and understanding. You hugged your knees to your chest, resting your head on your knees facing your friend sitting next to you.
“Everything is just so overwhelming right now. It’s like nothing can go my way and just keeps piling on top of me. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m so over it.” There was a comfortable silence between the two of you for a moment “I hate feeling like this” you whispered. Charlie put his hand on your back, rubbing small circles.
“Hey, hey, look at me” he said. Your eyes remained fixed on a random spot of his bed. “Y/N, please” he whispered. You shifted your gaze so that your eyes met his. “I know that things might be really tough right now, but I know you, and I know how hard you work, and I know that you will get through this. You have the weekend to forget about things and relax for a bit too, I’m here to get your mind off of the stress.”
You smiled at his reassuring words; he always knew what to say. You moved so that you could rest your head on his shoulder. “Thanks, Char, don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I don’t know, probably die or something” he said casually. You punched his shoulder jokingly and laughing at the boy next to you. “You hungry? We can order some food” 
“I didn’t bring my wallet with me” you said, remembering that you’d only grabbed your keys on your way out. 
“Don’t worry about that, it was on me anyway.” Charlie said, scrolling through UberEats on his phone for something to order. “What are you feeling?”
“Char, I’m not letting you pay! At least let me Venmo you?” you asked, already beginning to feel guilty at the fact that he offered to pay.
“Y/N” he said, putting his phone down and turning to face you, “You’re not paying,” he placed both hands on your cheeks, squishing them slightly, “Do not. Worry. About it.”
“But Charlie,” you replied, turning your body to face him straight on, “I. Feel. Bad” you mimicked his position, placing both hands on his cheeks and squishing them. And there the two of you were, hands on each other’s cheeks, squishing them. That was until you heard Charlie’s bedroom door slowly creak open.
“Hey guys, Jer and I were just wondering if you wanted to order food?” Owen asked, walking in while looking down at his phone. When he looked up and noticed the way you two were positioned, he stopped dead in his tracks. “Uh, I’m sorry, did I walk in on something?” he asked concerned, but slightly amused. 
“Perfect timing Owen!” Charlie said, taking his hands off your cheeks and grabbing his phone again, “Y/N and I were just having the same conversation”
“I was thinking maybe Chinese?” Owen asked, resuming his scrolling on his phone. You and Charlie looked at each other, an unsure look on your face.
“Eh, not really feelin’ it” Charlie replied, going back to his phone for food inspiration.
“I was kind of craving pasta from that Italian place down the street” you said.
“Pomodoro?” Charlie asked, and immediately he looked at Owen and they gave each other the same look. “Yes!” They both said at the same time.
“I’ll go ask Jer what he wants, text me your orders.” Owen replied, leaving the room. But before Owen asked Jeremy what he wanted to eat, he explained in detail what he saw when he walked in on you and Charlie. The two boys grinned at each other, knowing how the two of you felt about the other, and knowing that neither of you would say anything to the other.
**
When the food arrived, the four of you sat in the small living room eating, joking, and watching a variety of YouTube videos. You loved hanging out with the guys, it was always entertaining and you definitely got a workout from how much you laughed. 
After everyone had finished eating, the four of you decided to put on a movie. You sat next to Charlie on the smaller couch, leaning into his side, while Owen laid out on the bigger couch and Jeremy had a spot on the floor with some pillows. 
You’re not sure how long into the movie you made it, but eventually you fell asleep on Charlie’s shoulder. He hadn’t noticed you fell asleep until Owen brought it up.
“Hey man, she out?” he asked, leaning up on the couch. Jeremy looked over too, noticing your sleeping figure resting against Charlie. Charlie glanced down at you, brushing your hair away from your face.
“Yeah, she must’a fell asleep” he said, eyes resting on you a little longer before turning to look at Owen. Owen smirked and looked at Jeremy, who matched his smirk before the two boys looked back at Charlie. “What’s the look for?” he asked confused.
“Oh, come on, Charlie!” Jeremy said, “You are head over heels for her!” he whisper shouted.
“And you have been since day one” Owen added. 
“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Charlie whisper shouted back. The boys couldn’t see but underneath the blanket, Charlie was pulling you closer to him. He felt like he had to protect you despite there really being nothing to protect you from.
“Don’t avoid it Charlie, it’s so obvious” Owen retorted.
“The only question is, when are you finally going to tell her?” Jeremy asked.
As Charlie was forming his response, his felt you shift next to him. All three boys shifted their gaze to you, hoping you hadn’t heard what they were talking about. You shifted so that your face was resting in the crook of Charlie’s neck. He shivered at the feeling of your breath on his skin.
“Char?” you asked, too sleepy to open your eyes. Charlie squeezed your side to let you know he was there.
“What’s up? You alright?” he asked.
“ ‘m fine. What time is it?”
“Uh, it’s about 12:30” 
“Shit!” you said, quickly sitting up from your comfortable position and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, “The last bus leaves in 30 minutes, I gotta go!” You started to stand up from the couch, but Charlie grabbed your hips, sitting you back down on the couch.
“Chill, Y/N! I’m not letting you get on a bus in the middle of the night! You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch tonight” Charlie said, trying to calm you down. Jeremy coughed from the other side of the room, giving Charlie a look. Jeremy was crashing on the couch considering that he didn’t actually live there and had planned to spend the night. Charlie shot back a ‘not now’ look, returning his focus on you.
“I can’t take your bed. I’ll take the couch” you said, not wanting to put your friend out any more than you had tonight.
“Well, actually, I-I’m supposed to be sleeping on the couch” Jeremy finally spoke up. Charlie shot him a look, causing Jeremy to shrug and shy back out of the conversation.
“Then I’ll take the floor, but I’m not taking your bed” You said, bundling the blanket that was piled next to you. 
“Y/N, you are not sleeping on the damn floor. Either you sleep in my bed or we’re both sleeping on the floor. End of story” Charlie said, a little more stern this time.
“Well with that logic, why don’t we both just sleep in the bed?” you asked, shrugging. Charlie’s eyes went wide. Owen and Jeremy’s heads quickly turned their attention to you, smirks threatening to appear on their faces. 
“I-I mean, if-if you’re cool with that, yeah we could do that” Charlie stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck. He hadn’t expected you to offer to share a bed with him, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to pass this opportunity up.
“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t cool with it, but now that we’ve settled that, I’m tired. Goodnight boys!” you said, standing up and waving.
“ ‘night!” Owen and Jeremy replied, waving as you made your way back to Charlie’s room. What you didn’t see was the two boys silently cheering Charlie on as he slowly stood and made his way to his room. 
You were already tucked away when he made it, closing the door softly behind him. He made his way through the dark and found his way to bed. He slipped in next to you, laying awkwardly on his back, not exactly knowing how to sleep next to you. He turned his head to look at you. Your back was facing him, breathing slow. He figured that you’d already fallen asleep given how tired you were, so he got comfortable and eventually fell asleep.
**
Charlie woke with a start when he heard you start to cry out in your sleep. He couldn’t make out what you were saying but he knew that you were having a nightmare. He immediately pulled your back close to his chest, arms wrapping around you. His cheek was pressed against yours as he whispered in your ear. “Hey, hey, you’re alright, I’m here, you’re okay” You woke up, heart racing, and hands grasping Charlie’s arms that wrapped around your middle. He loosened them enough for you to turn around and face him. 
“What would I do without you?” you asked, cuddling closer into his chest, eyes closing in comfort. Charlie took a deep breath, he felt like now was the time to tell you. Tell you how he really felt, how much he wanted to never be without you.
“Y/N?” he whispered?
“Yeah, Char?”
“Can I tell you something?” He was trying to keep his nerves down, knowing you’d be able to feel him shaking.
“Of course, you can tell me anything.” You replied, shifting to lean slightly over him. He mimicked your position, the two of you leaning to face the other. “I like you. Um, like more than a friend kind of like you. And I don’t want this to ruin what we have so if you don’t feel the same way that’s- that’s cool we can forget I said this.” Charlie rambled. You were taken aback by the sudden out poor of emotional truth. Charlie was beginning to accept that you didn’t feel the same way until you made a move. You leaned in and kissed Charlie, all of the bottled-up feelings coming to the surface. 
“I like you too, Char,” you whispered, hand cupping the side of his face, “God, I’ve liked you since the day we met” you laughed, remembering your first encounter on set with Charlie. Charlie sighed from relief from next to you.
“I was so scared you didn’t feel the same…”
“How could I not, Charlie? I literally couldn’t survive without you.” You spoke. A smile crept its way onto Charlie’s face before he leaned in for another kiss, deeper and more passionate than the first. The two of you spent much of the rest of the night like that, moving between sleep and giggly sleepy kisses. The next morning, the two of you slept in a little later than normal, and laid in bed cuddled up watching TikToks, sneaking kisses in between. It was a kind of bliss you didn’t think you’d ever experience. Both of your heads turned when a short knock was made against the door.
“Are you guys dead in there?” Owen asked through the door. The two of you chuckled from the bed.
“We’re fine Owen!” Charlie shouted.
“Are you sure? It’s like noon-thirty and I haven’t heard anything from either of you?” Owen shouted back. You laughed at the boys, moving to get out of the bed and answer the door. Charlie pouted at the lack of you next to him. You opened the door to see a concerned looking Owen. 
“Good morning, Owen” you smiled.
“Did I interrupt something?” he asked, noticing Charlie’s lack of shirt and a messy bed.
“No, you didn’t. We were just getting up to grab some breakfast” you replied.
“Oh, well I was going to ask if you guys wanted some waffles? Jeremy and I just made some” he said, still looking between you and Charlie, attempting to put the pieces together on what happened when the two of you went to bed last night.
“I’d love some waffles! Let me just grab my sweatshirt and I’ll be right there!” 
Owen nodded, leaving the room. You turned to look for your sweatshirt somewhere on the floor. Feeling two arms wrap around your waist, you giggled, placing your arms over Charlie’s.
“You know you don’t have to go out there.” He said, lips hovering just over your ear.
“No, I don’t have to.” You said, “But we need to eat.”
“There’s something right here I could eat.” Charlie replied. You spun around quickly in his arms, slapping him lightly on the upper arm.
“Charlie!” You couldn’t believe how quickly he responded with that!
“What!? It’s true!” he winked at you.
“Well too bad because that is currently not on the menu. I want waffles!” you said before breaking free of his grasp, grabbing your sweatshirt and skipping out of the room to the kitchen. Charlie was left standing in his room, mouth agape, but laughing at how you handled that. What would he do without you?
921 notes · View notes
thunderthighs77 · 3 years
Text
Tendou and Semi Cuckold Part 1
**Part 2** IF THE LINK DOES NOT WORK, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. PART 2 CAN BE FOUND ON MY PAGE RIGHT NOW ANYWAY  
CW/TW for Pt. 1: Fem Reader x Tendou + Semi, voyeurism, exhibitionism, mentions of weed, cursing, vaginal play, smoking weed.
Y/N comes home from college to her bf’s house. He’s rooming with Semi, who’s always had eyes for Y/N. That doesn’t bother Tendou. In fact, it excites him...
(Basically, Tendou is lead dom here)
CW/TW for BOTH PARTS: Fem Reader x Tendou + Semi, spit roast (tag team), double penetration, voyeurism, exhibitionism, vaginal/anal play, shotgunning, (smoke), oral sex (giving), mentions of weed, cursing, pussy rubbing?, whining, creampie, praise/degradation kink.
18+ MINORS DNI
You were so fed up with midterms. 5 exams this week. 5 e x a m s. You just wanted to go home and get away from this fucking campus. You left your class and checked back into your dorm to empty out your book bag of notebooks onto the floor.
You pack a few clothes and your wallet. Your roommate had left for the weekend to her girlfriend’s house and so, you locked the door and left. You took the 11 up west to where you lived and walked home with your headphones on. 
You stopped in front of a mini market and figured your parents hadn’t cooked dinner since they worked nights. It was already evening time, so you decided “what the hell.” You walked in and walked out with some instant ramen, a bag of jerky, and a Reeses, Tendou’s favorite candy. 
Speak of the devil, your phone buzzed. It was Tendou asking if your midterms went well.
“They were fine. Thanks for asking, babe. I’m home rn” You typed as you bit a chunk out of the piece of meat. 
“Ooo. Want me to pick you up tonight?”, he texted. 
You were really close to home. The market was just down the street. As you made it to your front gate, you saw a note at the front that said, “Gone for the weekend. Say hi to Tendou from us if you decide to stay over.” 
“Say less!” You shout happily. 
“No, I’m heading over rn,” you type quickly. Tendou was also nearby your house. You walked down the quiet neighborhood as you ate your jerky and listened to your vaporwave. It was rarely a nice day in March; a good 68 degrees. Odd in the early spring where you lived, but a nice change from the dreadful winter you had suffered during the fall semester. 
You knocked at the front door and was greeted by a tall blonde face you recognized from your boyfriend’s high school volleyball team. He has on some black sweats and a white tank. He opened the door while his head was turned to the side, completely focused on the volleyball game on t.v. “Hey, Y/N,” he said as he just turned his head for a second before it swung back the side to focus on the t.v. He stepped aside as you walked past him. 
You walked in to the faint smell of weed, smoked probably a few hours ago. You set the grocery back down and hung your jacket at the front. The house was dark. It was 6:43 pm to be fair, the sun had almost fully disappeared. The tv’s glare and Tendou’s computer screen were the only source of light at the moment. 
You walked to where Tendou was sitting. Shirtless and in some grey sweats, he was shouting in his headset. “Come on, you motherfucker! He’s right there!”, he shouted as he pointed to the computer screen at his game. He felt your warm hug around him and he looked back and leaned into your kiss. 
“Hey baby,” he said. He turned back and yelled to the set again, “Come on, you dick! Oh my fucking-” 
You chuckled and backed away to let him continue playing. Semi was on the couch and glued to the game on the tv. His knees were spread and you climbed over to sit down on the other side of the couch. Your passing did not faze him at all. He kept his focus on the game. “Yes!”, Semi shouted as the whistle blew on the tv. It was some random college game. You sighed and scrolled through your phone. 
The coffee table in front of the tv was messy. An ashtray of burnt out cigarettes and blunts, leaves of weed sprinkled throughout, and empty beer and redbull cans. Keys, wallets, a few bills here and there, and a charging PS4 controller. 
You shut off your phone and asked. “Can we order some takeout?” You figure the 2 packets of ramen weren’t enough to feed all three of you, and you knew Tendou nor Semi couldn't cook, or even have food in the fridge, except for drinks and the occasional condiment or two. 
Tendou sighed in relief at the screen as “YOU WON” appeared in green and he took his headset. “Sure, babe,” he said as he held the power button to shut off the computer. “Semi, do you mind takeout?”, Tendou asked. Semi shook his head no. You walk over to the kitchen and try to find a menu. “That place over on 5th is really good,” you shout back to them. 
You get no response as you burrow through Tendou’s messy kitchen drawers. You can’t find any takeout menu as you look through them. “Babe?”, you call out. “What?”, Tendou calls out from the living room. “Where are the take out menus? They’re not in the kitchen.” 
“Check the bedroom, hun,” Tendou said. You swish your lips as your stomach growls. That jerky wasn't enough to hold you. You hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. Exams ran through your lunch period so you were starved the whole day. You look through Tendou’s room and into his closet to find a pile of menus. “What the hell are these doing here?”, you ask yourself. 
You get a pile of your favorite restaurants’ takeout menus and flip through them, trying to find your favorite one. Suddenly, you felt a finger slide right between your folds and you yelp. Tendou wrapped his elbow right on top of your breasts and held you in a choke hold. He continued to slide his finger in between your folds on the outskirts of your tights, and then two fingers. 
You bite your lips and roll your eyes back. Tendou chuckles and sinks his kisses right under your ear. You close your thighs, tightening his fingers and making him rub your clit more. You bend your knees and grind against his groin, him following the motion and grinding back with you.
It has been 3 months without sex since winter break. No orgasm whatsoever. You couldn’t even touch yourself in the dorms. Senior year was brutal with classes and internships. You were just exhausted and starved. Tendou let go of his chokehold and cupped one of your breasts. “Jesusss,” he hissed and he kissed your cheeks and squeezed it. 
“Tendou,” you let out in a breathy moan. “We gotta...eat…” You could barely form a sentence. “I missed you so much, baby,” Tendou says in your ear. His fingers are going ham in between your folds. He stops and pulls you by your arm and pins them behind your back with one hand while he bends you over the dresser. Your tights were thin, and therefore, made your pussy easy access. 
Tendou took his index, middle, and ring fingers and rubbed your pussy from the back. You let out a few tiny moans and close your eyes at the feeling. You quiver and throw your head back. 
“Where is my charger?” Semi asked himself as he looked around the outlets in the living room. “Ah shit!” He realized it’s in Tendou’s bedroom since he needed it last night. Semi walked over only to stop at the door. It was slightly cracked open and he heard moans. He figured you and Tendou needed some alone time. 
Semi turned away and wanted to wait until you two were finished. “Ahhh fuuuck!”, you shouted in such a pretty whine. Semi paused in his steps. He looked to the side and sighed. “Just a peek,” he told himself. He turned back and looked into the door. The tent in his pants was pitched just from your moan. 
Lord, were you a sight. He knew you were his best friend’s girl...but damn...you can’t blame him. You were just his type, and you were always over during winter break. He could hear your moans all the time. And he didn’t mind. You were fun to listen to. He always jerked off to your moans at night. And whenever he had sex with his one night stands, your vision was what he saw sometimes. It haunted him. He felt so guilty being Tendou’s friend knowing he had such thoughts. 
“HAHAHAHA!” Tendou let out a belly laugh as he threw his head back when Semi opened up to his best friend about his guilty conscience. Tendou took an inhale of his blunt and blew it out with another slight chuckle and a sigh. “Why are you laughing? I’m serious, man. I feel awful. And I’m so sorry,” Semi said sentimentally. Tendou shook his head and smiled. 
“You don’t get it, do you?” Tendou asked. Semi made a confused face. Tendou smiled and scratched his forehead with his blunt still in his hand. “You see….” he began as he leaned in. “I like to...how do I say this…” he paused as he began to think his words carefully.
“I know my girl is hot, Semi. I know guys look at her all the time. I don’t worry, though. In fact, it’s kind of hot to think everyone wants her, but only I get to have her.” Tendou wasn’t wrong. Every event you came to for their high school, like a volleyball meet or an elegant sports dinner, a lot of guys were over you. Not to mention, Tendou always asked for you to wear tight cocktail dresses or ones that showed off your tits or ass a little. He got off on guys eyeing you as you walked in. 
He watched from a distance as guys would ask you, “Can I buy you a drink?” “Can I hold your coat?” “Can I get your number?” Nothing dangerous or unwelcomed, of course. Both you and Tendou liked the attention. And Tendou was always there to make sure everything went well, as he swooped you in last minute and gave you a deep kiss in front of all the guys, making them sigh in despair as they knew you were taken.
Tendou smiled as he watched Semi’s mouth gaped in confusion. “I still don’t get it. You’re not mad at me?” Tendou shook his head as he inhaled his blunt. Semi began to stutter; “But...but...but I imagine Y/n-”
“Don’t you get it?”, Tendou said as he cut him off and leaned in. “It turns me on, Semi. I get hard thinking someone likes Y/n.” Smoke escaped Tendou’s nostrils as he smirked. Semi backed away, almost disgusted.
 “How?”, he asked, horrified. Tendou leaned back into his chair and shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s just hot. I know she’ll always be mine. But, I always had a fetish of her fucking someone in front of me. Or at least a threesome, you know? What’s that shit called?” 
“Cuckolding?”, Semi asked. “That’s it!”, Tendou shouted joyfully at Semi recalling the word he forgot. 
Semi shook his head at the past conversation he had with Tendou. He was leaking pre cum from his pants as he watched you quiver at Tendou’s hands. “Se-Semiiii!“, you let out whined. “Ah fuck,” Semi whispers as he grabs his hardened crotch. 
“What’s that, baby?”, Tendou asked as he leaned in your ear. “Se-Semi might hear,” you whine as you furrow your eyebrows and close your eyes at Tendou’s pace. Tendou smirks and looks up in the mirror and at the doorway. He sees a figure moving in the lit hallway. He forms a cheshire grin. 
Semi freezes in fear, but then realizes Tendou is probably loving this. Tendou smiles in the mirror while glaring at Semi and rubs your pussy faster. You quiver and release yourself from Tendou’s grasp and grip the sides of the dresser. Your head is pressed down by Tendou’s hand and you tremble from your orgasm creeping on you. 
You beg and ask for permission. “Oh god! Pleaseeee! Please, sir! Please!” Semi is pulling on his crotch outside the door, thanking Tendou telepathically for leaving a slight crack in the door to peek at this show. Semi was full on hard, and he whipped his cock out and stroked it as he watched you melt in Tendou’s hands.
Tendou suddenly pulled away at your dismay. “Fuck!”, you yell out. “No,” Tendou said sternly as he smiled. Semi realized Tendou had just edged the both of you. Tendou’s fingers were pruned, and a bit sticky from your wet pussy. Your juices had leaked through your thin panties and tights, and onto his fingers. He stuck his fingers in his mouth and caught a whiff of your heat he had just violated. 
You slide down to the floor and breathe heavily. Your clit was pulsating, beating rapidly, like a heartbeat. Your hair was a mess and your face was flushed red. Tendou knelt down to your height and kissed you. “Nice to have you home, baby.” You smile and let out sighs before you see a shadow move in the hallway. You gasp as Semi suddenly disappears. Tendou looks back and smiles. He stands back over you and lends a hand to help you stand up. 
“The menu was on top of the fridge, baby. “ You smiled gently as you exited the bedroom first and entered the hallway into the living room. Semi was on the couch with a pillow on his lap and scrolling mindlessly through his phone. Tendou was on the phone while you sat down next to Semi. You looked over at his flushed face. How cute. 
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stardustedknuckles · 3 years
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Okay I know at least a couple of you want to see my brown recluse bite. The chances of getting bitten are so low and the chances of it being a true bite and having ~effects~ even lower. Scientifically, I won the shit lottery and now it can be for your entertainment. If I understand right, I did experience necrosis - it’s just that it looks nothing like the horrible black photos you see online because it’s hypothesized that those are less “natural venom effects” and more “buddy you got MRSA.” I did not in fact get MRSA. Just everything else it’s possible for a spider to do to you.
Anyway under the cut, a progression up to today. It’s not gross tbh, just uh. Colorful. It’s pretty much entirely a surface change - nothing deep or particularly traumatizing happened. The threat of winding up with a hole in my arm scared the shit out of me for days but I saw my doctor on day 12 or so and she reassured me it was doing fine actually.
Day one: ya boi got bit three hours ago and went back to sleep.
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Day 3: Hmm. This looks a bit like Great Britain.
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Day 4: Hello from the hospital. You can see why I might be here, with my rashy swollen arm. Rare effect number one: systemic reaction. Not pictured: rare effect number two, half your red blood cells explode and you look like you’ve had acute anemia for years and not literally a week.
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Day 6: Haha this looks kind of cool tbh, hope that doesn’t all go necrotic. (hi Jesus, no house calls please I wanna stay here on earth thx) (I was doing real bad y’all, they didn’t tell me til after how shaky it was for a sec.)
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Day 10: Just got home from the hospital, can now properly focus on and freak out about my fucking arm. Also it kind of looks like a profile of the grinch now.
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Day 13: the crackly stuff is dried lidocaine don’t worry.
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Day 22: I skipped over the blistering that happened along the border, you’re welcome. This is the first day it’s truly looked like something healing instead of a worrying gooey mess (from triple antibiotic that I keep on it. It apparently heals better moist, so I keep it gooped up and covered. This is the best it’s looked bc the bandage absorbed all the goo and gently removed the thin skin left from the blisters.)
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So yeah! I’m pretty proud of keeping that blood blister safe so it can heal under the skin. I can tell my nerves are repairing bc I can occasionally feel the liquid move and yeah it feels weird but you gotta know it doesn’t even rank on the weird shit this wound has pulled on me. It gets flatter on its own every day, as does the wound around it. 
Having a gf who’s an ICU RN is really comforting bc I send her these and she goes “oh wow it’s looking so good!” and I go “haha okay cool good to know because it’s literally terrifying.”
But up top! In the last photo! It really is evening out and closing up and I’m so pleased.
So yeah when I bitch about doorknobs or sleeves or not being able to carry anything heavier than a cereal bowl (which I had to work up to) this is why. Every time I pull my arm too much to the side or flex the dead (!!!) muscles too hard the wound pulls at the edges and we’re trying to avoid that. Thank god I can type, and even more that doing so no longer pulls. It used to, just a little.
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promise [connor m. x reader] pt.2
because i think this is a fitting end to this story. actual notes at the very end of this post, after the fic.
warnings: general swearing. this is a part 2 to a fic on @pacman-tattoo though.
12:23 AM   connie: you still awake? 
12:26 AM   connie: babe.
12:35 AM   connie: i’ll be home soon, ok?
12:36 AM   connie: traffic is weirdly fucking awful rn and i wish you were here
12:37 AM   [y/n]: sorry, i’m here. i was almost asleep.
12:38 AM   connie: sorry
12:39 AM   [y/n]: make it up to me <3
12:39 AM   connie: i will
With a quiet hum, you left your phone back on the nightstand where it had been charging up until the vibrations against wood had pulled you out of your state of near-slumber. Connor rarely worked late, but sometimes he was roped into cleaning more than just the bar itself. It was temporary, he told you over and over. Eventually, he’d get his stupid book of stupid poetry (his words, never yours) and maybe he could go from there. Write more books, make things work, and one day he’d be staying at home and writing poetry while you continued to be the breadwinner once you were out of school for good (your words, occasionally his). Sure, working in an office when you weren’t swamped with classes and making pretty okay money in the meantime hadn’t been your plan originally, but... things happen. Life changed. Connor was a constant for you, though. True to the promise he made to you almost six years ago at eighteen, he never disappeared again. Not the way that he had used to. Sure, there were fights, and he would leave you alone in the living room while he shut himself up in the bedroom and dealt with the flow of emotions that rammed through him, but things worked out. On the worst nights, he’d come back out to find you asleep on the couch, and he’d end up waking you up and the two of you would fix things. He opened up to you, slowly and surely, and things worked. It was hard, certainly, but... the two of you made it work. 
And now you were lying in bed in the little apartment that you shared, waiting for him to come home from bartending (Connor Murphy, working in customer service? You never could fully believe it, but he managed) and to climb into bed next to you, and maybe the two of you would talk until you fell asleep. 
The sound of jingling keys from the living room caught your attention almost half an hour later, followed by the slamming of a door, and then heavy footsteps. Before you could call out to him, Connor came in through the door, fighting his way out of his shoes, his jacket, his jeans, and soon enough he threw himself directly into the space next to you. For a moment, he was hardened by whatever bullshit he’d faced during the day, but one look at you was enough to soften his gaze.
You sat up, reaching out to brush his hair from his face. “Long day?”
“The fucking worst.”
Despite the aggravation in his voice, you chuckled. “You wanna talk about it?”
He shook his head, hopping back up. “It’s stupid shit,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.” But he paused before he could move away, dipping forward to press a kiss against your lips. “It’s fine,” he said again. “I promise.”
As he walked away, you merely watched as he began to strip out of his clothing before changing into a faded band t-shirt that often was used by one of you as a sleeping shirt. You admired him for a moment. Six years ago, he was... thinner. Bonier. Ever since things had shifted between the two of you, he’d put on a bit of weight (enough to become less of a bean-pole and more... okay) and he generally seemed brighter, if you were honest. Maybe that was what getting out the Murphy house did for him. He’d cut his hair, although it still stayed long enough to hang in his face if he wasn’t careful. As much as you missed the long locks, you were happy. He’d begun taking care of himself. He had his off days, and you knew that, but he seemed to genuinely be trying for you, and he was trying for himself, too. 
“You like the show?”
You couldn’t help but snort. “Maybe I do,” you reached toward him, doing grabby hands. “C’mere,” you whined quietly. “I wanna cuddle.”
He scoffed at the notion, but climbed into bed next to you a moment later nonetheless. Instead of folded into your arms, he pulled you closer, wrapping himself securely around you, cocooning you in his warmth. The faint smell of his cologne still stuck to him, and you happily buried your face in his neck before pressing a soft kiss against his skin.
“Sometimes,” his voice vibrated in his chest, and although you went to move, he kept his hold on you. So you relaxed into him, and he continued, “I think about when we got together.”
“Mmhm?”
“I was dealing with a lot,” he said, lowering his voice. “Fuck, you know how many problems I had, and...” He paused for a moment, nuzzling his face into your hair just for a second. “And I’m glad I got help.” He corrected himself barely a second later, “I’m getting help.” When you didn’t respond, he continued on, “I’m glad it’s working.” 
“I am, too,” you admitted against his skin, and he hummed in acknowledgement. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He ran a hand up and down your back, and the motion soothed you slightly. “I was scared I was depending on you entirely,” he shut his eyes. “I thought that if you weren’t here, I couldn’t be happy. But... I got better,” he said. “I’m better. I have... friends,” he said after a moment of hesitation. “I’m writing. I’m not fucking paranoid all the time. But...” He drew away from you, hands reaching up to cup your face, smushing your face slightly. “I do have you. I’m glad you stayed.”
“Someone’s sappy tonight,” you pulled a hand away. “I’m glad you stayed, too.” 
“Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you,” he said, and the air grew tense for a moment. He... wasn’t being sappy, he was being honest. “But, I think... I think now I’ve learned that even with my bullshit, I... I think I deserve good things, sometimes.”
“You do,” you reached up to trail a thumb along the apple of his cheek. “Just because you fucked up and got angry at people and dealt with a lot doesn’t mean you’re not worth loving.”
He chuckled, and he said your name gently. “No wonder you’re trying to become a therapist.”
You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his own for a moment. “I wanna help people,” you said. “I wanna help teenagers like you who needed it. I didn’t give up on you then, and I don’t want to give up on my future patients.”
“Even if you’re not what they need?”
“Especially if I’m not what they need,” you said. “I’ll find them someone else. Just because I can’t help them wouldn’t mean that I can’t help them find someone who can.”
There was softness in his eyes as he kissed you gently. No more scent of cigarettes and the taste of smoke (he’d given that up long ago, just so he could have longer with you), but he still held the same warmth he did the first time you kissed. “I love you.”
So you settled into his arms after giving him one last kiss. “I love you, too, Connor.”
-
So... I’d like to take a moment to talk, since, uh, it feels right to. 
I started writing musical reader inserts back in 2017, shortly after my 17th birthday, and the first one I wrote was a Connor Murphy fic titled “Promise.” Which... is why I feel that this is a fitting ending for my writing. I don’t remember the last fic I wrote for this blog, but I never felt completely satisfied in saying “I’m done writing reader fics for musicals” since... nothing felt like an ending. 
Of course, I’ll still sorta be lingering around this blog if anyone wants to DM me or send in an ask, but I’m not gonna write anymore. I sorta stopped once I got to college since I didn’t exactly have the time to do it as often anymore (and I sorta lost interest in writing for musicals, actually, since I do write elsewhere sometimes), but... that’s beside the point.
A... lot has happened since I posted that first fic. I dated someone for the first time, ended things with them, and then I fucked up majorly with some things that happened afterward. I’m still atoning for it, and maybe I never will fully do so, but it’s one of my deepest regrets. Of course, I’ve... learned I’m not the only person at fault in the situation (more like I was manipulated, but I’m not going to deny my own part there), but I think coming to the realization that I wasn’t alone there... helped. I lost a few friends, and I kept everyone else for the most part. For a really, really long time, I always wondered why. I had fucked up so majorly, I couldn’t comprehend why my friends stayed with me.
And... It’s because we love each other. I fucked up, sure, but... they knew who I was as a person. These people didn’t abandon me because they saw me for who I am. I explained what happened, I showed anger and frustration and melancholy for everything that I (and the other person at fault) had done, and... they weren’t going to cast me out in my hour of need. I had made the group chat we all met in, and I tried to take an interest in everyone as best as I could. I became a different person when I was with my ex, and... and I never want to be that person ever again. I was petty, and spiteful, and when I look at who I became, I realize that I’d been changed for the worst. I like to think I’ve gotten better, and maybe that’s because of the stupid fucking trauma making me realize my place. 
But... I love my friends. I love them so, so much. I don’t think I’d still be here if it weren’t for them. It’s been a pretty wild ride, and I’ve written so much for these fandoms (although admittedly not in recent years) but... I’m proud of what I have done. I love writing so, so much, and it’s always going to be a part of who I am, no matter what route I end up taking. While I can look back on some of my writing and laugh because it’s cringe-y and clumsy and I’ve definitely improved, it’s still something I did. 
Even if this post doesn’t get a single note, I’m... still proud of what I’ve done and how far I’ve come, and I thank anyone reading this for coming with me on this journey. Please, take care of yourselves. Be kind. It’s okay to have bad days: even flowers need a little rain to grow. 
But most importantly: love yourself and love the people that want you to be better. 
Thanks, gamers. Feel free to hit me up anytime.
~ Minerva “Minni” @mango-juiiice
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melon-wing · 3 years
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A Confession of Love 3/3
[Fanfiction Masterlist] It took Grian a few days and he felt emotionally drained each time he was done. He felt like he was pouring all of his feelings and emotions into this and maybe it wasn‘t really healthy. Mumbo and Iskall would probably frown at him if they knew how much sleep he missed over getting everything done. Impulse had dropped by a few times, cheering Grian on, making him believe that this might really work out.
To say Grian was nervous would be an understatement. He had the coordinates already typed into his communicator in a private chat with Ren, but he kept pulling his finger from the send button.
“Oh come on! Just do it! You really need to know! Or should I press it for you?“ Grian turned to look at Impulse, who was still with him, just in case he needed some mental support. And Grian was kind of glad he was here. Especially when he realised that while turning around to Impulse he had accidentally hit the send button. Well, that gave him one less thing to worry about…
Wait! Fuck! He had sent it and Ren was going to come over and that meant he‘d know, which meant Grian was maybe minutes or hours away from being gently let down. Oh god, he wasn‘t ready. He really wasn‘t ready. Impulse started laughing at Grian’s panicked face and when Grian glared at him that laugh made room for a fond smile. “It’ll be alright, Grian. And I’ll be here with you all the way, okay? No matter what happens tonight, you still got me, don't forget that. I might not be as cuddly as Ren, but Zed always tells me I give one hell of a hug."
Grian looked at Impulse and just like that his heart seemed to calm down at least a bit and he felt like he could actually do this. So what if Ren wasn't feeling the same way? What if Ren only liked him as a friend. He liked his friendship with Ren. Staying friends wouldn't be the end of the world and he'd be finally able to move on from those feelings that had been getting him down lately. He'd be able to go back to his comfortable single life that he had never wanted to leave anyways.
"Yeah I guess it's alright. I'm just... nervous. This isn't some romance novel. Stupid grand romantic gestures never work in real life." Grian laughed joylessly and pushed a few loose strands of hair out of his face. "But that's alright. And I won't be here forever anyways. The season is coming to an end soon, I can tell. I don't have much longer with you guys."
"You know you could ask Xisuma to-"
"I know. I could. I won't. I've got friends waiting for me to return. I can't just stay here. And if he's saying no there's no reason for me to stay here anyways. Not that I don't like all of you guys... But yeah. I think I'm not ready to fully commit yet. And moving on will definitely be easier once I'm off world."
Impulse looked at him sadly and Grian avoided his gaze. Mumbo and Iskall had already tried to convince him to stay as well. Heck, even Taurtis - who he was supposed to return to after Hermitcraft was done - kept urging him on to stay, to find happiness.
"Can we not talk about this while I'm freaking out about getting my heart broken?"
Impulse sighed once more and put an arm over Grian's shoulder, pulling him into a half hug. "I'm sure it’ll work out. Don't worry too much. It doesn't help anyways."
Grian nodded and, taking a deep breath stepped back once more. "So you saw what I did, right? You think he'll get it?"
Impulse laughed again, shaking his head. "Grian. He will know. Dude. You practically turned your Infinity room into a love confession."
Grian blushed a little as his mind went to the small room below his base, thousands of blocks away. It had taken him forever, but armed with some black dye and a brush he'd poured out his love over the walls. The room had been turned into a corridor, and with the help of a few armour stands (Cleo had luckily agreed to teach him a few things about creating them) it now told their story and the way Grian had fallen. Or well... He'd put it more in terms of Red Riding Hood falling for the Wolf. He would have felt weird putting his own face onto those armour stands and his own name into the story.
But he was sure Ren would get it. Hell, there were lines out of their private conversations written over the wall. He would get it... wouldn't he?
A loud beep rang from his communicator and Grian almost dropped it in a hurry to get it out.
<Ren> I'm there now! I'm very excited for the surprise!
"Oh... Oh fuck. I don't know if I'm ready for this", Grian mumbled and then kept walking in circles around the campfire, Impulse's eyes following him. He couldn't handle this. Minutes passed and every noise made him jump as he anticipated the communicator going off.
The longer it went on, the more nervous Grian got. After ten minutes he had taken off his flower crown and started fidgeting around with it, leaves and pallets dropping to the ground. His hands were shaking, he needed to keep them busy. Ren sure as hell must have finished by now, right? He couldn't still be in the room. Why was it taking so long? Maybe he wasn't getting the message after all? No, if that was the case he would have messaged Grian by now. That left only two options. Either Ren was still down there and looking at Grian's work or he knew exactly what it was about and didn't know how to let Grian down gently. The last option was way more likely.
Another ten minutes seemed to pass by agonizingly slow and Grian knew he was a nervous mess. He couldn't handle this pressure. He just couldn't. 
Finally, his communicator beeped. A message. He just knew it was from Ren without even having to look at the display. A second ago he had thought he wanted nothing more than to see a message, now he was frozen, unable to even look at the tiny screen. His heart was racing, he was sweating and he had the urge to vomit.
It took him a minute or two to calm down enough, but his fingers were still shaking when he opened up the communicator and then Ren‘s message.
<Ren> Grian? You there?
Grian was pretty sure by now he was going to vomit. Why had he thought again this might be a good idea? It wasn‘t. It had never been. Ren surely had gotten the message going from just those two sentences. And now? Was he really ready for this?
He just knew what was coming. Ren would let him down, trying to be gentle, but still crushing his heart in the progress. It had always been like this. Sam, Taurtis, Mumbo… It had always been the same. He had fallen hard and thought he might have a chance only to be disappointed once more. Only for them to tell him that he was such a nice guy and a good friend, but really, there was nothing there. No feelings.
Despite that, Grian replied. He still had Impulse to cry to later. He needed to get this done - rip it off like a bandaid.
<Grian> Yeah.
<Ren> You know I‘m a coward sometimes and a bit dumb…
Grian had to giggle a bit at that though he felt like sobbing even more, his heart racing. 
<Ren> But I was really wondering if this thing you made for me… Is it based on real life?
Grian‘s hands were shaking so much he could barely type a reply. He settled on something short instead of some long winded explanation.
<Grian> Yes. Sorry.
Grian put the communicator down again, closing his eyes, taking a few deep and shaking breaths. He wanted to turn back time. He didn‘t want to be in this situation he had put himself in. It was frightening. It was all too much. Why had he done this to himself? He wasn‘t brave enough to face the disappointment. He wasn‘t ready to have his heart broken once more and watch Ren be happy with someone else. He couldn‘t bear it. Not again. Especially not with Ren.
There was no reply. No beeping noise. Nothing.
Grian knew what that meant. After all, there was only one logical explanation. Ren didn‘t return his feelings. He had put Ren into a corner, pressured him to reply to his feelings and now Ren opted to not say anything at all. Minutes passed without anything at all happening.
Grian gave a sigh, feeling his heart rate return to normal, a cold feeling spreading in his chest as he typed the next message. 
<Grian> I like you. A lot. More than a friend should. But if you don‘t, that is totally fine and I‘m totally chill with that. No worries, really. No pressure.
His communicator stayed silent again for a long time. Grian kept staring at it, tears forming in his eyes and then slowly dropping down onto his hands. This had been so stupid. He didn‘t deserve to be loved by someone as bright and amazing as Ren. Ren could have anyone on the server, so why should he even settle for Grian. It had been dumb to think all those love declarations meant something special. They never did. He had been delusional, blinded by his love.
The communicator beeped and knowing that it would be something to let him down gently, Grian steeled himself to read the message.
<Ren> Goibve mee a mimute. Flyng rn.
Grian looked at the jumbled message for a few times, blinking in confusion. Ren was… flying? What was that supposed to even mean?
And just when it slowly dawned on Grian what it meant, there was already the sound of exploding rockets fired in a far quicker succession than absolutely necessary drawing closer. Nobody would waste resources like that unless it was an absolute emergency.
Grian raised his head and the moment he did something or rather someone collided with him at such a high speed they both fell to the floor. Luckily enough, the landing was rather soft with the grass below them. Warm arms wrapped around Grian, his face buried in someone neck and just taking a short breath he felt a familiar scent filling him.
Still, Grian felt hesitant about returning the hug until Ren drew back a little, arms staying around Grian, but now able to look at him. And his eyes were shining brighter than Grian had ever seen them.
“Ren, what- Why did you come?”
“Of course I’d come.” Ren let out a laugh and the way it made his eyes just sparkle more made Grian’s heart skip a beat. “After what you did - what you said.”
“Does that mean-” Grian started, but broke off, his throat suddenly feeling tight, his heart only racing faster as all the hope he’d constantly pushed down rose up all at once, overwhelming him. This was it. This was the moment of truth and he was more hopeful than he‘d ever been before. Surely Ren wouldn‘t have come over if he wanted to let Grian down, right?
“I’m feeling the same way. I love you. I want to be with you.”
Grian couldn’t help it. All his emotions came out all at once and with a small giggle a tear slipped down his face as well. He was just too happy.
“I love you too, Ren. So very much. I’ve loved you for so long. I just… I didn’t think this would happen. I don’t even know where to go from here. Can I-” Grian stopped, licking his lips and looking up at Ren. “Can I kiss you?” And when their lips met Grian was glad he had stopped hiding how he truly felt, glad that he hadn’t kept on pretending until it was too late. This was perfect. This was what he had always dreamed off and he wanted this moment to go on forever.
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madzfm · 3 years
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˛ ⠀ * ⠀ ★ ⠀  JESSICA ALEXANDER  .   CIS FEMALE  .  SHE / HER      ⧽ ⠀ have  you  seen  the  786  latest  post  ?  sources  say  they  have  some  serious  dirt  on  the  child  of  a  big  time   COUNTRY MUSIC STARS  .   they  haven’t  revealed  who  it was  yet  but  my  best  is  on  MADISON  DARLING  !  ever  since  that  last  update  about  how  she  ALLEGEDLY GOT CAUGHT SPORTING A BABY BUMP LAST YEAR BEFORE GHOSTING EVERYONE  i  don’t  put  anything  pass  them  .  i  mean  ,  these  celebrity  kids  are  just  out  of  control  .   they  do  whatever  they  want  ,  whenever  they  want  and  are  ungrateful  in  the  process  !!  i  mean  take  MADDIE  for  example  ,  they’re  a  TWENTY THREE  year  old  DANCER  ,  and  what  did  they  do  to  get  there  ?  have  famous  parents  !  like  hello  ,  just  because  you HAVE BEEN IN MUSIC VIDEOS WITH A-LIST MUSICIANS doesn’t  mean  you  actually  deserved  it  .   i’m   glad   the   786   is   taking   them   down   a   notch   .   it’s   about   time   someone   does   .
             𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐂  /  𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓  / 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒
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hey ... hey ... how y’all doin’ ?  i’m sooo excited to be here , besties ! sorry i’m late with the intro , it’s been a looooong weekend for me but i’m eager to get the ball rolling . so here’s the rundown , the google doc has a full bio + more stats + headcanons but i don’t expect anyone to actually read all that nonsense so i’ve tried my best to sum it up below ( it’s still kinda long tho i’m sorry y’all i ramble too much ). i’m always down to talk plots & threw a few wanted connection ideas at the bottom , so feel free to hmu on discord any time <3 but yes okay let’s get into it
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━━     ˊ     *     𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  . .
𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞. madison dallas darling .   𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬). maddie , mads .   𝐝𝐨𝐛. april 14 , 1998 .   𝐚𝐠𝐞. twenty - three .   𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜. aries sun , libra moon , leo asc .   𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫. cis female .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬. she / her .   𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. bisexual .  𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞. nashville , tn .   𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 5ft 5in .  𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. high school diploma .   𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. dancer / realty tv personality .   𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬. robert “robbie” darling - father . dixie darling - mother . delaney darling - sister .   𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬. compassionate , imaginative , family-oriented  , devoted , generous , sympathetic , idealistic , self critical , naive , competitive , indecisive , impressionable , elusive , sensitive .
━━     ˊ     *     𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲 . .
tw : things like shitty controlling parents , injury , & pregnancy are mentioned
   born & raised in nashville , tennessee , madison is the daughter of two country music icons ( basically blake shelton & miranda lambert ) & has only ever known a life in the spotlight . her parents were a widely adored it couple who shared their lives with millions of viewers across the world with their reality tv show . at 7pm cst you could tune in to watch robbie & dixie raise their two daughters - having some good ol’ wholesome family fun while juggling responsibilities that come with being famous artists . to any outsider looking in , they seemed like the perfect family . a loving father , a supportive mother , two prim & proper daughters that collected accolade after accolade in every pageant & talent competition they ever entered . but you shouldn’t believe everything you see on tv , even if it’s deceptively labeled as “reality” .
   when the cameras weren’t rolling , the darling sisters were left under their mother’s restrictive control . dixie darling treated her daughters more like dolls than living beings , madison & delaney were basically pretty little accessories . while robbie never dared to mistreat his daughters , he was around a lot less than the show made it seem - often touring the world rather than spending quality time with his girls . plus , dixie & robbie seemed to endlessly fight with one another - nearly every childhood memory madison has of her parents involves them yelling . if she wanted to see them looking happy & in love , she’d have to tune in to the fabricated reality on their own show to get a taste of what a happy , loving family looks like . 
   you can’t be a child of dixie darling without being exploited in some way . while delaney was pushed into the music scene , madison was shoved into the world of dance . she took every class that was offered & practiced for hours upon hours to perfect her craft . her sister had taken after their folks with the singing voice of an angel & the looks to rival that of miss universe , meanwhile maddie was good for two things : dance & doing whatever her mother said . so when dixie said to twirl , she twirled , when she said do a grand jeté, maddie asked how high & then over performed like the good little girl she was trained to be .
   it wasn’t until her parents got divorced & maddie moved to miami to be with her sister , her father , & her father’s new girlfriend that she sort of came out ( or more accruately described as dragged out ) of her timid , non - confrontational , subservient shell . with a longer leash , she had more freedom to roam far & wide . no one tried to tell her what to do or who to talk to & considering she was just a privileged teenager with endless funds & the status to get away with just about anything , you can imagine how badly that went . every mistake she made was broadcasted onto people’s televisions or headlined in tabloids . it was stressful , growing up & messing up all under the watchful gaze of millions of people who felt entitled to berate her for her poor life decisions . just because they watched her grow up on tv didn’t mean they actually knew anything about her . & yet so many people shared their unsolicited opinions on her & her life . it drove her insame .
   maddie wasn’t handling the stress of being well known very well . she wanted a break from it all , to just go somewhere far away where no one knew her name & just live by herself . it was a silly dream . nothing she’d ever actively pursue . but the universe has a funny way of giving us a taste of what we think we want just to teach us a lesson . 
   so over a year ago , maddie found out that she was pregnant . it was a shock to say the least . she kept it a close guarded secret from everyone but her sister for awhile . not only was it a life changing development , but it was one thing that she was determined not to share with the rest of the world . with the idea of running away in continuous loop in the back of her mind , she came up with a plan to buy herself some time . she faked a really bad injury during a performance & let the media run with saying she might not be able to walk , let alone dance ever again . pushing the cover story even further , she claimed to be in need of intense physical therapy & sought after it in a luxurious private lodge in new zealand . that’s where she stayed during her year away , letting no outsiders come visit while she figured out how she was going to move forward with this baby growing inside of her .
   so maddie finally got the break she was looking for even if it wasn’t under the circumstances that she would’ve liked . but she adapted to the situation . in her time away , she went through the entire pregnancy but it was basically decided for her by her parents that it was best to give the baby up for adoption . the little girl would be in good care by a couple that was a family friend of the darlings . better to bless someone who wanted a baby but couldn’t have one than for maddie to keep her daughter when she wasn’t in a place to take care of her . it broke her heart , honestly . she had grown quite attached to the baby & even entertained the idea of being a single mom even though she knew her own mom would never let that happen - it would go against the strict narrative that they try to put out there about the darling family .
   after a year away , maddie is back in miami without anyone knowing what really happened . she keeps using the “injury” as the excuse for her absence from the spotlight . anyone really close to her might be able to tell that something’s off , but she’s trying so hard to act like everything is fine & nothing has changed at all . she might even be able to get away with her lies - if it wasn’t for that damn 786 website threatening to spill the tea & make her life hell .
━━     ˊ     *     𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 & 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 . .
   a wannabe good girl gone bad but harbors a deep rooted fear of being a disappointment & a failure due to her mom’s strict parenting style . so like she wants to be rebellious & come across as carefree but internally she’s panic screaming always ( honestly relatable like same , girl )
   well - mannered in a sweet southern belle kind of way with her please’s & thank you’s & calling everyone ma’am & sir out of respect & what not
   biiiig mom friend energy . she just wants to make sure that everyone is taken care of . she can get very protective & a little helicopter parent-y with her friends . it probably has something to do with control issues that she doesn’t realize she has but we don’t have time to unpack that rn akjsdbk
   before her year away i want to say that she was a lot more people please-y / overly eager to please ?? like rarely said no to people that asked for favors , always agreed to any plans people invited her to out of courtesy , & what have you . but now i see her as being a little less patient than before & a little bit more unhinged & quick to shut down or snap
   guillable ! naive ! dumb as hell ! believes that everyone was raised with the same values as her & has a big of a heart like she does so she’s easily subjectable to getting her feelings hurt & i say let it happen !!
   wants to be mysterious so bad but there is very little known about her & her life that isn’t public knowledge . she could get shit on by a bird & it’ll probably become a twitter highlight idk she just wants to believe she’s imperceptible & acts all evasive in order to keep her private life private but that rarely ever has the desired effect
    one of those annoying rich & famous people that’s like “i wasn’t meant to be famous . i was meant to have a normal life & be a normal person” but like !! she is actually so out of touch with reality & probably couldn’t tell you how much milk is at the grocery store because she has people to do mundane day to day things for her . spoiled little privileged rich girl , let’s be real . her dad tried to keep her humble , idk what happened
   dance style / career is pretty much inspired by maddie ziegler but also not really bc i am very picky & choosey about which aspects of her career i’m pulling from
   boring on social media because she hardly ever posts & is very short with her captions & tweets when she does make an appearance online every blue moon 
   dodges questions about what she’s been up to while she was gone like she’s in the matrix or something . all that pr training her mom put her through when she was younger is coming in handy because she has not given a single honest , straight answer in the months she’s been back . would rather talk about anything else than herself right now so don’t be surprised if she pulls some random subject changes out of her ass if people get nosy . i’m sure the common conspiracy is that maddie was so embarrassed by the fall on stage that she went into hiding 
   delaney is the kim kardashian & britney spears of the family while madison is the kourtney & the jamie lynn xoxo
━━     ˊ     *     𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 . .
ride or die , bad influence , frenemies , family friends , good influence , confidant , rival , girl squad , non judging breakfast club , childhood friend , unlikely friend , exes on good terms , exes on bad terms , neighbors , pr friendship , pr enemy , social media mutuals , party buddies , secret friend , secret hook - up , crush , friends with benefits , adventure buddy , enemy with benefits , dance partners , mentors , mentees , sibling like relationship , will they won’t they , people suspicious of her & her supposed “injury” , father of her baby 👀 jk ..... unless
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kuiinncedes · 3 years
Text
and you knew what it was
author’s note: i don’t know what the fuck this is i was bored at the beginning of my break lol and i wrote some stuff based on a prompt list and a random number generator that gave me “here, drink this. you’ll feel better” and it kinda like ,, grew ,, into a lot
i’ve been sitting on this first part pretty much completed for a while and i think i want to just post it and i have two other “parts” that are sorta connected and idk yeah lmao they’re in progress rn and hopefully i can finish them soon if i post this one i just feel kinda stuck rn :P anyway idk lol i like this part tho hopefully i don’t change anything massively in the other two that would have to change something here XD
basically 1539 words of shadowhunter!quinntina hurt/comfort (or an attempt at it) maybe like sort of warning for mention of death and injury tbh am i trying too hard to be a ya fantasy writer lmao
title from “you are in love” by taylor swift <3
as always lmk if anyone wants any shadowhunter things to be explained lol :P
***
“Here, drink this,” Tina says, voice shaky and quiet, unsure. “You’ll feel better.” She helps Quinn sit up a little and slowly drink the whole glass of… something.
Quinn wrinkles her nose at the aftertaste coating her tongue and throat. “What was that?” Her shoulders are propped up against her pillow, and she awkwardly tries to situate herself somewhat upright. 
Tina shrugs, setting the cup aside. “Something Mike whipped up. Said it should help your strength and energy a little?” She crosses her arms, lightly gripping the fabric of her shirt at her sides—hugging herself.
“Mike needs to add some sugar or something,” Quinn tries in a joking tone. Tina smiles slightly but won’t really make eye contact with her.
The room falls silent and Quinn watches Tina, recognizes the expression on her face, her defeated posture, her smaller, quiet demeanor. Her outfit—a lot darker than what she’s often in these days, when she’s not in black gear. 
And Quinn remembers a few months ago, when Mercedes had her own complicated encounter with demon poison. She remembers how Tina cares, how she loves, how beautifully, how much. 
“Hey,” she says softly, and Tina finally looks up to meet her eyes. “Mike and the Silent Brothers said I stand a good chance for full recovery, right? So no tears,” Quinn urges gently. 
Tina huffs a light laugh and wipes under her eyes. “No promises,” she says hoarsely. Quinn wiggles her fingers and Tina releases the hand clutching tightly at her side and obligingly takes Quinn’s, who squeezes reassuringly.
Tina keeps sniffling though, and it seems to be getting louder. She covers her mouth with her free hand when Quinn looks over and says quickly, “I’m sorry, I know, sorry, it’s Kurt’s turn to see you anyway, I should go—” and starts to untangle their fingers but Quinn holds fast, squeezing again and she looks into Tina’s tear-filled eyes. 
“Come here,” Quinn says quietly.
“What?”
“Help me lay down, then get in bed with me.”
Tina pauses. “Are you—I don’t know if—”
Quinn smirks a little, starting to push herself back into a horizontal position. “I’m the one who’s injured, and I’m cold and I need my girlfriend close to steal her warmth, okay?”
Tina swallows and nods a little, replies barely above a whisper, “Okay.”
Once Quinn is lying down comfortably, Tina climbs under the blanket, facing her. Quinn tucks a strand of black hair behind her ear, wiping some of Tina’s still-coming tears as she retracts her hand. 
Tina holds her wrist, lightly, almost only with the tips of her fingers, and presses a soft kiss to her palm. She lets out a slight chuckle. “Shouldn’t I be the one taking care of you?”
Her tone is lighthearted but bitter and Quinn brushes her fingers through Tina’s hair. Her eyelids flutter, half closed, and she releases a small, comforted breath.
“You’ve definitely already done a fair amount of taking care of me. And I’m fine,” Quinn assures, and she really is fine, aside from the fact that she just missed a few days being knocked out from the worst kind of demon poison and she’s still feeling the effects of that, probably will be for a while, but that’s getting out of her system now, and with its complete departure her strength (and ability to move without pain) should also return, if Silent Brother healing magic and knowledge is to be trusted. “On the other hand, you look like you haven’t slept in days.” And knowing Tina, it’s all too possible that she hasn’t.
Tina shrugs a little. “Maybe.”
“Do I need to call Kurt in here to tell me?”
“Fine,” Tina grumbles halfheartedly. “I haven’t.”
But do you blame me? is her unasked—and unanswered—question. 
(Quinn doesn’t.)
Quinn tilts her chin forward a little to kiss Tina’s nose gently. “Go to sleep,” she says.
“Here? I shouldn’t—Kurt wants to see you,” Tina starts and Quinn shushes her again.
“Yes, here. Kurt will live without it, he knows I’m okay.” And Quinn knows Kurt is okay, and presumably will understand Tina staying for longer if he’s been around her the past few days. 
She just hopes—knows, really—that Kurt has helped Tina, that they help each other. They’ve always been close on account of being the two who could always be found awake in the latest hours of night, talking to each other and recently, working on designs and drawings together.
But it’s still different right now, for these past few days, and Quinn thinks that if either of them slept at all, it wasn’t much. Especially Tina. Kurt had the parabatai bond’s assurance while Quinn’s been out. Tina had Kurt’s assurance, but it still couldn’t have been as good as knowing it herself. And at night, Kurt had the bond as an extra layer of assurance when he went to sleep, but Tina didn’t, and Quinn knows how Tina’s worry keeps her up sometimes, and how she sometimes chooses energy runes instead when she knows something is weighing on her mind too much for her to sleep.
“You need sleep, love,” Quinn whispers, and she feels the resistance fade from Tina’s body. She pulls her closer, tucking Tina’s head under her chin.
“I missed you,” Tina says with a small gasp, voice cracking a little in desperation. “I’m so sorry.” Quinn can feel her tears on her collarbone and she hates it—hates that she’s the reason Tina’s crying and she can’t do anything about it because she was unconscious and on the verge of death for three days and then the Silent Brothers kept people away for a few more and Tina didn’t know how she was for a week, and Quinn really just woke up again and she’s mostly fine and she feels fine but Tina hasn’t slept for days and Quinn understands.
“It’s not your fault. And I won’t ever leave you,” Quinn promises. 
“You can’t say that for sure.” 
“Shh,” Quinn breathes, thinking about both statements. Tina’s right, she can’t say it for sure, and she knows that. With their life and what they do every day, it’s the most unsure thing in the world. Even just a week ago, she could’ve died if the demon’s stinger had gone in a little higher, she could’ve died if there were any more of them left, she could’ve died if Tina wasn’t there. Tina could’ve died if Quinn wasn’t there. (Would have, a voice in the back of her head creeps in, less than a breath, and she suppresses the shiver that it brings.)
But if Quinn has any control over it at all, it will be true. She tells Tina as much. “I won’t leave you,” she says again, quietly but as vehemently as she can, and Tina relaxes a tiny bit in her arms. 
And then for the other thing. “And there’s no way it’s your fault, okay?”
“If I wasn’t so fucking careless, you would be fine—”
“You didn’t push me into a demon’s stinger, did you?” Quinn continues to run her fingers through Tina’s hair. “You didn’t take its poison and inject it into my body. And you were killing the other ones. We could both be dead if you weren’t, okay?” Her tone is more blunt than probably necessary and she brushes Tina’s temple slightly in apology.
Tina burrows her face deeper and Quinn knows she’s winning, if only because Tina’s tired. But she needs her to know…. “It would never be your fault,” Quinn whispers. “Ever. Tell me you know that.”
After a second, Tina nods. “Yeah,” she says in a small voice. “Okay.”
Quinn can tell Tina isn’t completely convinced, but it’s a conversation for another time, another day when Tina isn’t running on a ridiculously small amount of sleep and probably an unhealthy number of energy runes, and only just coming down from the emotional rollercoaster of the past week. 
Quinn presses a kiss to the top of Tina’s head. “Go to sleep, love,” she says again. 
“Wake me up if I hurt you,” Tina breathes, on the cusp of sleep. 
Quinn smiles, runs her hand up and down Tina’s arm. “You won’t,” she promises, voice hushed.
It’s a testament to just how exhausted Tina must be that her breathing evens out within a few seconds, and her body is still and loose from exhaustion, mind finally quieted, for now, close to Quinn and reassured, and Quinn continues to rub her girlfriend’s arm gently and thinks.
She thinks about the word she just used—twice, and for the first time. Not the first time in her head, but the first time out loud. But unlike countless other times when she’s questioned her decisions and even after so many that have hurt her, so many choices that have led her astray—led her heart astray… she knows it’s right this time. Now, here, in her room, in the Institute that changed her life for the better, her family within the building’s glamoured walls, next to the one person she would always want to be next to, she doesn’t need to question it. And she closes her eyes and follows Tina into a hopefully peaceful sleep.
#no one: me: writing the same shit in the shadowhunter au#lsdkhglksfj like this is just the same as my klaine one but a little different with elements from another quinntina one and just lk;j;kgjsal#original ideas we don't know her#hhhhh idk how i feel about the end but oh well#it;s so random :') fuck lmao stop complaining about ur own writing that ur posting XD#lmao me writing over my break: RUN ON SENTENCES GALORE#this and my jatp fic that i posted a little bit ago lol anyway#ummmm is that it (no it's not but i can't think of anything else i wanted to say lol)#quinntina#glee#glee fic#my ficsssss#how do i tag this shit#it's been a while lmao#me: feeling like shit bc i feel like everyone hates me bc i can't just text my friends without feeling like i'm being annoying#me: POST A FIC FOR VALIDATION#also me: posts shadowhunter quinntina shit catering to an audience of: me#anyway#yk what lemme ramble for a sec bc i don't want to make a post about it#i want to ask my friends if they wanna plan something but like it's always been me texting them about stuff lately#which is DUMB that i feel weird about that but that's always the thing like#i always feel like i'm absolutely no one's like 'favorite' person and like everyone has people they'd go to before me :DDDDDDD#which isn't like just me but still i just this combined with idk today just my brain being dumb and being really self deprecating and dumb#i feel like i'm not actually close to anyone and i don't think i ammmmm#anyway no one asked for this in the tags of a fic post lmaooo
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