#(which is just crazy but my girl is going through a lot right now i'm more than ok with giving her all of the benefit of the doubt) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kaisacobra · 8 months

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Let You Go - Tara Carpenter

Summary: It's been a while since Tara has seen you. She misses you, but maybe she's broken your relationship to a point beyond repair.

Warnings: Violence, blood, mentions of death, angst

Word Count: 7.9k

a/n: thank you so much for the ride guys! Here we have part 3 of second best, which (kind of) ends this trilogy. Of course, I'm still writing the alternate ending so stay tuned if you're interested!

third part of Second Best

It was two in the afternoon when Tara began rummaging through that box she kept at the back of her closet, sorting the contents into "burn" and "don't burn," all in line with what her therapist had advised. She needed to overcome the past, even if in small steps, and what better way to start than by burning traces of when everything started going wrong?

She looked into the box, examining the contents that would survive the purge. To no one's surprise, most of the photos contained you.

Tara reached for a specific photo among the others. A polaroid depicting a hug between the two of you, both with radiant smiles and faces so close that your cheeks touched. Mindy had taken this photo just before you both visited an amusement park that had been in town for a while. Tara's heart throbbed painfully. She missed you. A lot.

The girl sat on the bed with slumped shoulders, clutching the polaroid as if it were a precious possession. She couldn't take her eyes off the image of the two of you, with a happiness and innocence that would soon be ruined by her own actions. With a tired sigh, Tara closed her eyes, remembering her therapist's words.

The initial sessions were slow and unproductive, mainly because Tara kept her guard up and refused to talk much about her life to a stranger. Over time, the man became a pleasant presence, and Tara began to see him as some sort of a grandfather figure trying to advise his granddaughter. That's when she started sharing her problems and actively sought solutions.

"Do you think she'll forgive me?" she remembered asking, looking at her hands with shame. The bright white light in the room made the sweat on her palms stand out on her tan skin.

"Tara..." The man sighed, taking off his glasses as if he was preparing for a battle. "Don't you think you should worry about forgiving yourself first?"

The girl frowned and looked at him as if he were crazy. If anything, she was guilty of not only ruining her own life but also becoming a problem in everyone else's. She had no right to see herself as a victim. "What do you mean?"

"From what you've told me, I've realized you harbor a lot of resentment towards yourself on the inside." He pointed to Tara's chest, and she noticed no hint of judgment in his expression. Still, she felt strangely exposed. "Have you ever really reflected on this internal conflict you feel? About feeling guilty for things beyond your control?"

Tara scoffed and leaned back until her shoulders rested against the chair again, crossing her arms and staring at the walls like a stubborn child avoiding conflicts. "Beyond my control? I was awful to the best person in my life! I let a murderer into our life for-"

"See? You're doing it again." He smiled with a patience that bordered on irritating for the girl, crossing his hands on the glass table that separated them. "I'm not saying you're not at fault for being rude to your friend, but I'd like to focus on your past. That girl's attacks, parental abandonment... You're not to blame for that, Tara, but it doesn't stop you from carrying the pain anyways. Don't you think it affects you?"

She remained silent, but now her head was bowed in embarrassment. Her arms, once crossed, now enveloped her elbows in a half-hug, as if that would protect her from something. Without more exchanging words, the therapist followed the cue and continued speaking in a gentle tone, as if trying to educate a wounded animal.

"Tara, have you ever talked about your concerns with anyone, or have you just kept all these grievances inside until they exploded? Have you ever had any healthy coping mechanism?"

I don't deserve one. That's what she wanted to say, but didn't, because she knew it would make the situation even worse.

"Do you think I don't recognize the signs? Troubled young adult refuses help out of fear of abandonment and ends up driving everyone away, taking the opportunity to take out your emotional wounds on others? You won't be the first or the last person I've seen with this pattern." He spoke as if he could read her thoughts, leaving the girl a little scared.

Sitting up straighter in the chair, Tara turned her gaze back to the therapist, momentarily becoming interested in the conversation again. "Okay, what do I do to end this? What do I do to not be like this anymore?"

Broken, she wanted to say.

The man smiled gently and pulled open a drawer in the wooden cabinet to his left. Tara watched impatiently as he took out a black notebook and placed it on the table between them, looking between her and the object with a certain expectation. "I thought you could start documenting your feelings on paper, instead of keeping them locked within you. I think it can help you in the long run."

"Do you think writing in a journal will make me less of an ass and make y/n forgive me?" Tara replied with a sarcastic tone.

"I think it can influence a change in behavior, yes." The therapist reaffirmed, deliberately ignoring the girl's foul language. "And this exercise is not about y/n; it's about you. How do you expect her to forgive you if you can't do it for yourself?"

As stubborn as Tara was, the words had truly left an impression on her. That's why, on top of her messy desk, was the damn black notebook. The calluses on her hand throbbed with the memory of the force with which she wrote each new entry, trying to release her negative feelings onto paper.

She knew that your name was probably the most repeated word on all the pages, like a sacred mantra that she had to honor. Tara couldn't escape the fact that many of her emotions were so directly intertwined with the idea of you, and honestly, she accepted having to carry that burden as her own Sisyphean stone. She deserved it, after all.

Looking again at the polaroid, she sighed and slowly ran her thumb over the smiling image of your face, almost wishing she could offer you the same affection in person.

She was going to change. She had to change. For you.

"That was pretty good!"

The floodlights on the university’s sports field lit up as it began to get dark, allowing the young athletes to continue their training even at night. There weren't many people around, but you could see that the track team seemed to be gearing up to practice for the 100 meters a little to your left.

"Kate, I hit the white part." You grumbled in response to your friend's encouraging words. Kate Bishop had convinced you to attend one of her archery practices to "see her talents firsthand," and at some point, she thought just watching wouldn't be enough, and that you had to experience the sport for yourself.

That's why you were now on the archery training field with her, holding a semi-professional bow that was much heavier than you expected, proving over and over again that you were definitely not a natural at this.

It didn't seem to discourage Kate, however, as the girl still smiled with enthusiasm while looking at your target with a single arrow stuck in it. "At least you hit the target! You're improving; it could be worse."

"True! You could have hit someone's foot, like Miss Bishop did once." One of Kate's teammates, Yelena, commented with a laugh. The two, along with Maya Lopez, made up the Blackmore University women's archery team and were surprisingly good at it, having won all the recent competitions.

You laughed along with the other two while Kate gradually turned redder and assumed a betrayed expression. "Hey!" She protested.

It was amazing how people you had known for such a short time could make you feel so good. You couldn't even remember the last time you had laughed so freely since the incident with Tara happened, and that was already a significant victory for you. It's not like being with Mindy, Chad, Anika, and the others didn't make you happy, but it was hard to enjoy the moments with them when you remembered that, in any other situation, Tara would be there with you too.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket, and you leaned the tip of the bow on your foot, letting its weight rest on your shoulder so you could reach the device with your hands. Through the lockscreen, you could see a message notification from Mindy, as if she had read your thoughts.

Best Twin: Movie night at the Carpenters' house, are you coming?

Best Twin: Sam misses you

Best Twin: We all do

You sighed deeply and looked at the notification with a grimace, not sure exactly what to do. Of course, you would love to spend time with your friends, and you definitely felt guilty for avoiding Sam by extension, even though she understood the reason. But your palms started to sweat just at the thought of sharing a small space with Tara again.

Mindy had already told you that Tara had started therapy after the encounter you had in some of the university’s corridors some time ago, but she had also said that it was entirely valid if you still didn't feel ready to see Tara after everything.

It was a strange feeling, as if two forces were fighting for dominance within you when it came to Tara. On one hand, just thinking about her made your chest ache. A wave of anger, sadness, and pure humiliation invaded you, and your eyes threatened to well up. What she did to you, what she said to you, marked you like a painful burn that might never stop pulsating.

But on the other hand, you wondered if there were still traces of that other Tara who loved and treated you well. The Tara who made you soup when you were sick and promised never to leave you. Maybe it was your foolishness, but you didn't want to believe that that part of her had simply gone away forever.

"Are you okay?" A soft voice reached your ears and quickly snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you to loosen the tight grip with which you had involuntarily held the phone. Looking up, you came face to face with Kate's kind blue eyes, patiently waiting for your response.

Kate Bishop had been an angel in your life, fitting in perfectly at the moment you needed her most. You had met her in the waiting room of the counseling center after spending a week living like a zombie following everything that happened with Tara, and you could barely comprehend that you were sharing the same space with someone like her.

At first glance, Kate Bishop didn't seem like someone who needed to be in a counseling center. She carried herself with confidence, always with impeccable posture and a calm expression on a model-like face. Always dressed in neat clothes that you were sure were designer and carrying a sports bag indicating her athletic background.

But when she approached you and started a conversation, saying she needed to talk to someone or she'd explode with anxiety before her first appointment, you began to realize that Kate might not be what you expected. She was, in fact, much kinder and more attentive than you could have predicted.

You talked a lot that day, and the next day, and the day after, until there came a point where you got along well enough to consider her a friend. Kate listened to everything about your issues with Tara and provided advice and emotional support. In return, you listened to her vent about her problems with a father who died in childhood, a mother imprisoned for fraud, and an inherited company she didn't want to have to run at that age.

They were quite different dilemmas, just as you were quite different people, but still, you felt at ease in her presence, and it was good to have someone who truly noticed you for once in your life.

"Hm? Okay. It's fine, yes, I just..." You searched for words but gave up, opting to speak the truth about what was bothering you. "Mindy invited me to watch movies with the others, and it's at Tara's house, and I didn't want to have to refuse, but I don't know if I'm ready for-"

Kate widened her eyes and raised her hands as if asking for a pause, interrupting your rapid and anxious flow of words. "Woah, hold on, champ. You don't have to go if you don't feel okay. They'll understand."

"Yeah, I know, it's just that..." You sighed, looking down at your feet planted in the field's grass. "I miss them, but... I can't."

As much as it hurt and was embarrassing to admit, you knew it still wasn't the right time. Not when you sometimes still woke up crying in the middle of the night with nightmares involving her.

"Then how about this?" Kate began to suggest, getting closer to you and gently shaking your shoulders. Physical touches had always been her way of offering comfort. "There's a party at my place tonight with some of my childhood friends, and I'm officially inviting you. You can tell your friend that you'll be busy spending time with a very beautiful, charming, and talented company."

You smiled as you let yourself be shaken by the cheerful girl in front of you. "A very humble company, apparently." You teased, poking her ribs playfully. "I don't want to disturb you, but thanks for the invite."

"Disturb? I'd be the one disturbing your illustrious evening by forcing you to hang out with my friends! Believe me, it's torture listening to Peter for 2 hours when he gets excited about his nerd stuff." Kate tried again, and by the way she looked at you with the expression of a begging puppy, you knew there would be no escape. "Please? It'll be nice to have you there."

There were two available possibilities. In the first, you could go back to your dorm, watch a bad movie alone, and spend the rest of the night thinking about how your friends would be having fun, specifically wondering if she would be having fun. In the second, you could take another step in getting rid of your codependent friendship (if it still existed) and enjoy the night with new people and a person who was becoming more and more important to you every day.

If Tara didn't want to be stuck in the past, you also had the right to do that. You deserved it too.

So, you accepted and only remembered to inform Mindy when you were already in the passenger seat of Kate's black Audi RS7.

Tara was distraught. Actually, saying that she was distraught was an understatement.

Last night had already started off as garbage from the moment Mindy announced that you wouldn't be coming to see them at the apartment. Sure, she should have expected it, but that didn't mean she didn't have any hope. She couldn't stop thinking about what you might be doing, the reasons why you hadn't come, how everything would have been better if you had.

But mostly, she felt relieved that you hadn't been there, because that meant she hadn't put you in danger again with another ghostface attack. It was a selfish thought. Quinn, her roommate, had died in front of her, Anika had her belly almost cut from end to end and was now in surgery, and all Tara could think about was finding you to see with her own eyes that you were okay.

She urgently searched for your face in the midst of the crowd of students walking through the Blackmore University campus, seeking the slightest fragment of your presence anywhere. She cursed herself again for not being able to just call you like she would if she hadn't messed up and made you block her in practically every possible place.

Finding you and making sure you were okay, in addition to delivering the terrible news, was her obligation. Mindy and Sam were with Anika at the hospital, and Chad had gone to check Ethan's alibi in the damn economics class. She needed to find you.

Fortunately, her prayers seemed to be answered by whatever entity it was. She saw you in the distance, radiant as she hadn't seen you in a long time. Tara's heart skipped a beat, and she opened her own smile after yours. It was bittersweet, the feeling of seeing you so happy but knowing that this happiness would be ruined the moment you laid eyes on her.

In a moment of distraction, a new wave of people passed in front of her, blocking her view of you. Fucking height. She thought with some annoyance as she tried to make her way through the students, trying to get closer to where you were.

When Tara finally managed to locate you again, the scene was quite different from before. Instead of laughing, looking forward, you had your back turned, seemingly struggling while a girl wrapped her arms around your neck. Tara felt a wave of anger rise through her veins and marched in your direction, ready to free you from whoever that crazy bitch was.

The younger Carpenter approached you with a speed she couldn't quite explain, and her motivation only seemed to grow when she noticed that the mysterious girl looked a lot like that senior she had seen with you in the hallway some time ago. Choosing to embrace her negative feelings, she used her strength in a way that would make her sister proud and aggressively pushed the girl away. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Tara?!" You exclaimed in shock, your voice carrying surprise, and your expression wavering between anger, astonishment, and anguish. "What do you think you're doing, are you crazy?!"

Tara saw you getting closer to the girl (Karen, Kendra, she couldn't remember.) and gently placing your hand on her shoulder, as if checking her condition. That small gesture made more anger bubble in her stomach. She wanted to scream, throw a fit, damn, she wanted to destroy something just to get rid of that rotten feeling corroding her from the inside.

But she looked into your eyes and could see a glimpse of the sadness she had caused in the past by this same line of thinking. She couldn't do this to you again, especially because that wasn't even why she had come looking for you. Tara swallowed hard and clenched her fists, deciding to save her frustration to take it out on calluses on her own fingers later.

"She was attacking you," Tara mumbled reluctantly, knowing that the explanation sounded stupid but that she also owed some reasoning for her actions.

You clearly didn't seem satisfied with her motivation, as you only stared at her with a frown and crossed arms. "Kate is a martial arts expert, Tara. She was just showing me how to escape from an arm lock."

Well, how was I supposed to know that? Tara thought, but she decided it was better not to worsen the situation. Before you could ask why she had been clearly looking at you for some time, she decided to explain.

"Look, I'm sorry. There was a ghostface attack in the apartment yesterday, and I just needed to know if you were safe."

"What?! An attack?! How- Are you guys okay?!" You asked exasperated, and Tara saw it. She saw the exact moment when you had to restrain your arms by your sides before doing something you would regret.

Tara remembered that being the first thing you did when you could see her after the surgeries last year. You ran to her on the gurney and held her face with both hands, as if she were fragile. You ran your thumbs over her cheeks, right above the freckles, wanting to make sure nothing was injured. She remembered feeling well cared for and loved.

But that was before she messed everything up. Now, all that was left was that. You restraining yourself from offering your heart to Tara, and she wanting to die realizing the damage she had done between you two.

"Sort of. Anika is in critical condition in the hospital, and... Quinn died." Tara delivered the news with a solemn voice, trying to control her own tears as she remembered what happened. She saw when Kate raised her arm to offer a comforting stroke on your back, and, for the first time, all Tara felt was emptiness knowing she couldn't comfort you in that way.

You let out a few sobs before trying to compose yourself. It was clear that you had been affected by the events, and Tara knew you well enough to know that you would want to go after the others to comfort them. "Which hospital is Anika in? And where are Sam, Mindy, and Chad, I... I need to talk to them."

Tara felt a bit of pride in realizing that she still knew your way of dealing with things, even though she was worried that your priority was always to take care of others' pains. Of course, much of that was her fault, and a knot closed in her throat every time she remembered that fact. "Sam and Mindy are at the hospital waiting for Anika to be discharged. Chad went with Ethan to handle something about an alibi."

"I can take you if you want," Kate offered you in a chivalry that almost made Tara vomit. "It will be faster if we go by car."

"Or maybe it would be faster for her to take the subway with someone who knows the address, like me." Tara retorted sarcastically, crossing her arms to try to cause, at least, the minimal intimidation to her rival. It didn't seem to be working, which made her even more irritated. "Speaking of addresses, where were you last night, Kate?"

Feeling that the conversation would only escalate, you quickly shook your head. "Stop it, Tara. There's no way Kate could be the ghostface."

"And why not?" The girl asked defensively, with an offended tone almost similar to one she would have if you had accused her. It was frustrating for Tara that you seemed willing to vouch for a person you had barely known. "She suddenly appeared in your life, got so close to you in such a short time, don't you find that a bit suspicious?"

"This might sound a bit surprising to you, Tara, but some people actually like having me around." You retorted with irritation, throwing daggers at the girl with a look so intense that she almost stumbled backward. "Kate can't be ghostface because I spent the whole night with her, okay?"

Suddenly, Tara felt dizzy, with a buzzing in her ears. Apparently, you hadn't had the best problem in overcoming your feelings for her. She felt weird inside, as if something were stuck in her throat. "Oh, I didn't know you guys..."

"No! Not like that, I just..." You widened your eyes and hurried to correct the double meaning of the sentence, waving your hands frantically in a way that made Kate open a smile in amusement beside you. "...I slept at her apartment, but not with her. Not that I owe you an explanation anyway."

Your phone vibrated with a notification, and all three pairs of eyes turned to the device. You quickly checked the message and let out a sigh of relief. "It's Sam. She sent me the address of the hospital; I'm going there now. Without any of you, please."

"Okay. Just be careful, alright? And call me if you need anything." Tara watched reluctantly as Kate pulled you closer by the shoulders and planted a small kiss on your forehead. She swallowed the envy and looked away, trying to think of the last time she had offered you any kind of affection.

You said goodbye to Kate with a warm smile and a hug. For Tara, your lips pressed into a line, and you nodded briefly, almost as if you were greeting a stranger.

She wondered if that's what you two were now.

The Carpenter girl prepared to leave, maybe to find Chad and help him or just take a walk to ease the tornado swirling in her chest. However, she was interrupted by a hand on her arm. Kate Bishop tried to get her attention, wearing a conflicted expression on her face.

"What is it?" Tara grumbled, shaking her arm to free herself from the other girl's touch. She was used to being shorter than most people, but with Kate, it became even more annoying, especially when she had to look down at her.

"Look, I know you don't like me, and, to be honest, I don't like you one bit, but I need you to do something for me," Kate said seriously, putting a hand in her pocket and retrieving an object that Tara could only identify as a car key.

The shorter one scoffed. "Listen, I know Y/N and I are on bad terms, but I don't need you to ask me to take care of her. I'm going to do that anyway because I care about her, believe it or not."

Kate rolled her eyes impatiently. "I know. I can see that in you the same way you can see it in me."

It was true, as much as it bothered Tara to admit. She wasn't blind, and she had enough experience in reading people to know that the way Kate looked at you was sincere, and the girl genuinely cared about you. Putting aside her own jealousy and envy, Tara was relieved to know that there was someone good enough to show these feelings for you. You deserved it, after all.

The girl continued, "This device here is a prototype from my mom’s—my company. It's for security." She raised the object and placed it in Tara's hand, who could now see the details of what she had previously thought was a car key. It was a black oval keychain with a single button in the middle, also black. "I pulled some strings and turned it into an emergency button. As soon as you press it, a signal will be sent to police cars and ambulances, and it will be their priority to get to you. That's one of the advantages of being rich and having contacts, I guess."

Tara turned the button in her hands, feeling the object weigh more now that she knew its function. "And why are you giving this to me and not Y/N?"

"Because I know she would use it on anyone but herself." Kate sighed in frustration. Tara knew it was implied in the sentence that you would use the button for her. "I'm giving it to you because... despite the fighting and you being a jerk..."

"Wow. Thanks for the honesty."

"... I can still see that you care." The taller one finished her sentence without caring about the interruption. She looked between Tara and the button with a bit of uncertainty. "When you press it, a signal will also be sent to my phone, and I'll come running wherever it is."

There were more implicit intentions in that sentence that Tara could pick up. I'll come running to help Y/N. I'll take her away from you. I can protect her better than you can.

Tara just offered a short nod and turned to leave, with the emergency button weighing as much in her pocket as her heart weighed in her chest. Thousands of thoughts filled her head, and all of them were about you and your safety. It was Tara's duty to keep you safe, first because it was her fault that you were even in that situation, and second because she had already hurt you enough.

It was her mission to protect you. To prove to herself that she could still be good for you. To prove to you how much she still cared.

And if she couldn't, if she had to press that button... well...

Maybe it would be the sign she needed to understand that Kate Bishop deserved more of a place in your life than she did.

The lobby of the abandoned cinema ironically looked like something straight out of a horror movie that Tara would hate. Dust had piled up in heaps on all surfaces, and the orange lights were so dim that they threatened to go out at any moment.

The others were in the center of the other room, where Richie Kirsch, being the maniac he was, left his extensive collection of items from stab movies and real life ghostfaces. Tara, however, thought it would be a better idea to follow you wherever your feet and lost expression took you, just so she wouldn't have to leave you alone, of course.

You had your back turned to her while leaning on the filthy counter with your elbows. Tara couldn't tell what you were thinking, but obviously, you were not okay, just like everyone else in that situation.

From the corner of her eye, she saw a box of Milk Duds on the other side of the counter that seemed untouched, just a few inches to your left. She approached with light steps, not wanting to make any sudden movements as if that would scare you away, and reached out to bring the box closer. "You like these, right? You can have them if you want."

You didn't respond to the joke, and you didn't even turn around to look at Tara. She felt your indifference like a stab to the chest, but she continued nonetheless. "Or not. This must be like a thousand years old anywa-"

"Tara, shut up." You finally responded sharply, making the younger girl look down in shame. She really needed to get used to your new treatment of her. You ran your hands over your face, covering it as if you were tired.

"Sorry." Tara whispered back weakly. She deserved it, but more than anything, she wanted to be able to offer you some kind of support in that difficult moment, just as you had given her all the support she needed in the past.

You scoffed, in a gesture so hostile that the younger Carpenter almost couldn't believe it came from you. You were still facing away from her, but now slowly taking steps away with tense shoulders. "Did you learn a new word? Didn't know it was in your vocabulary."

Tara felt the anger in your voice, and it made her hands begin to tremble with anxiety. You were right, and it was long overdue for you to know that. "I’m sorry, Y/N. I know it's too late for this, but I'm sorry for everything I did."

"Do you even care? Seriously, Tara, do you really feel sorry, or do you just miss having some idiot around who would do anything for you?" You retorted, your voice rising even as your vocal cords trembled. A dam had just burst open between you two, and now it was time to deal with the flood.

"Of course, I care, I love you!"

"SHUT UP!" You shouted in response. Tara recoiled from you with a start, startled as she had never seen you raise your voice at anyone. You were still facing away, but Tara could see that, even though you had wrapped yourself in a hug to control your reactions, it wasn't working. Your entire body was tense, as if your brain was struggling to choose between fight or flight, and the result was the tremors that seemed to spread through your system. "You have no right to do this to me! To play with me like this!"

"I'm not lying!" The shorter one retorted, and in an impulsive move, she grabbed you by the shoulder and forced you to turn until your gazes met. Tears were already streaming down your eyes like waterfalls, and your entire face seemed contorted in excruciating pain. Tara wished she could absorb all your hurt for herself. "I know I messed up, but I really love you!"

"You're toxic, Tara! That's what you are!" You shouted back with strength, holding the girl's gaze as if it were a challenge you needed to win. "You hurt me! And I was getting better, damn it, I was getting better away from you!"

"I know you were! I know! That's why I'm apologizing, okay? Because you're the best person I've ever met, and I ruined you like I ruin everyone! Because the best moments I've ever had were with you, and I feel like tearing my eyes out when I remember that I hurt you by being this way!"

"Tara..."

"No! Please let me finish." She rejected your interruption, taking the opportunity to relieve all the pain and guilt she felt inside her. "I'm getting treatment, okay? And I know you're not obligated to forgive me for anything, but I want you to know that I'm trying to be better for you! I'm trying to fix my shit to be someone you and Sam and the others can be proud of!"

"Tara..."

"And I know I hurt you a lot, but please don't doubt the love I feel for you because it's the only good thing left in me. I won't blame you if you never want to see me again, but..."

"TARA, GET DOWN!" You shouted, and before Tara could react, you were already pushing her toward the dusty wooden floor.

Everything was happening too fast for the Carpenter's mind to process. She hit the ground with a grunt of pain and a potential bruise on her arm, but she could see the exact moment when an arm covered in a black cloak descended toward your leg, making a deep cut in your thigh.

You screamed in pain, and Tara screamed next, watching your blood soak through the fabric of your pants and start dripping onto the floor. In a surge of adrenaline, the small girl ran to your side and almost reached for your arm when she was suddenly engulfed in a tight grip, with her two arms pinned to her back and a hand holding a knife to her neck.

She struggled against the masked person holding her, futilely trying to break free to get to you. Tears streamed so quickly down her face that she could taste the saltiness invading her senses. "Let me go! Y/N, run! Please, run!"

A sinister laugh reached her ears like the hiss of a snake. "Oh, Tara. Did you think it would be that easy?"

She recognized that distorted voice with effects all too well. She still heard it in her nightmares, calling her name in the dark. Ghostface was back. "I'm going to kill you, you motherfucker!"

"Oh, but I don't think so." The voice spoke in an amused tone as another killer, wearing the same mask and black cloak, approached your figure on the ground. Tara wailed like a banshee when the other pulled your hair forcefully, forcing you to stand up as he placed a knife on your neck.

She struggled a little more. "Leave her alone!"

"And where's the fun in that?" The ghostface holding her responded, almost as if they were laughing. "Come on, Tara. Weren't you the one who liked to release your anger by hurting Y/N? Why should only you have that privilege? Let's see, where was it that you got stabbed again?"

At the same time, as if reacting to a code, the ghostface holding you advanced in quick and precise movements, gripping you by the waist with one arm while thrusting the knife into you with the other, just above your kidney.

You let out another gasping scream as the blade pierced your skin, and Tara felt your body sagging as if you were about to collapse. She herself wanted to fall to her knees and plead for you to be released, but she couldn't. Whoever was holding her had great strength.

"Don’t you want her to feel the same pain you felt, huh, Tara? Don't want her to suffer what you suffered?" The voice continued to growl in her ear, sounding increasingly excited by the escalating violence. The knife on Tara's neck kept her head in place, so she couldn't look at anything other than your agony.

"No, I don't. Please, PLEASE." Tara pleaded with a tearful voice as another stab was delivered to you, this time in the center of your abdomen. Your shirt gradually turned into a pool of blood, and Tara feared you would faint at any moment.

"Tara..." You could barely pronounce her name, your voice choked and your own blood streaming down your lips. Tara's gaze met yours, and she shivered when you shook your head. She knew what that meant.

You looked feverish. Sweat and blood mingled on your skin, creating the most disturbing of the paintings. Your eyes were vacant, and Tara was so afraid they would close at any moment, never to open again.

And yet, with that nod of your head, Tara understood that your top priority at the moment was to make her understand that it wasn't her fault.

The girl's knees threatened to give up as the knife entered you one, two, three times. She shook her head but couldn't close her eyes because she needed to see you, needed to see that your eyes were still open, that you were still alive.

You couldn't die. You promised not to leave, even if everyone else did. You couldn't die. You couldn't die. You. Couldn't. Die.

"I love you. I'm sorry for loving you, I'm sorry," Tara whispered because she had no strength to speak louder. She felt on the verge of giving up and letting those maniacs do whatever they wanted with her. Nothing mattered anymore if you weren't here, and it was all her fault.

The ghostface holding her laughed with a deep voice. "You know, I could turn this into a Romeo and Juliet scene, but I think it would be more fun to kill you while Sam is watching."

With that, Tara felt her body being thrown backward, and she hit the dirty wooden floor again, this time landing with her head in a wound that would undoubtedly become a concussion.

She got up in a frenzied pace, in an adrenaline rush, thinking she could try to save you now that she was free. But, looking ahead, she realized she was outside the lobby’s door, and the maniac murderer already held the handles. Despite Tara's attempt to advance, the ghostface had already sarcastically waved and locked the doors, creating a deadly separation between you and herself.

Tara pounded on the hard wooden door, ignoring the pain in her knuckles. She hit and hit and hit, feeling cuts open on her skin and burn from the repetitive contact. She was crying, screaming, punching, cursing, doing things she couldn't even rationalize because it didn't matter anymore.

Nothing mattered anymore. Not without you.

She collapsed on the floor, tired, injured, and desperate for you. Her sobs echoed in the seemingly empty hallway, and she was too afraid to put her ear to the door and hear screams of pain like your last breath. Tara felt lost until she remembered that she was no longer trapped.

Rushing to reach the device in her pocket, she sighed in relief to find it unbroken. She pressed the button multiple times without a second thought. If she had a chance to maybe save your life, she would grab it without a doubt.

Tara remembered what she had thought before, how pressing that button might symbolize that she shouldn't be in your life. She stood up and leaned against the wall, trying to rid herself of the wave of nausea, and left the button hidden near the door. If help came following the signal, the first place they would look would be where you were.

If help came and you made it out alive, that was a promise. Tara would finally leave you alone. That's what you deserved.

---

Tara was almost sure she had developed a hospital phobia since the events of last year.

There was no other explanation for why she felt uneasy in that environment, even after they had taken all precautions for her. She still hated the white walls and the smell of chemicals and couldn't wait to get out of there.

For now, she decided to ignore this feeling and continued following Sam through the corridors of fluorescent lighting. It was important for her to stay inside until they finally found the doctor who could tell them what they wanted to know.

She checked her hands again, finding the tanned skin covered in some bandages but free from the mixture of her blood and Ethan's after she... lost control.

After she was separated from you, everything happened so fast that Tara could almost think it was all a delusion. All the revelations, the attacks, her adding another victim to her count, the police arriving... All of that had taken a back seat because nothing was more important than you.

It was as if her life had turned into a black and white movie in the moments she was without you. Everything felt colorless, purposeless. Fortunately, she was pulled out of her own spiral of melancholy when she saw you being taken out of the old movie theater on a stretcher by paramedics. She tried to get closer, but it was needed to give you space so that nothing touched your wounds and caused an infection.

Tara tried to go in the ambulance with you, but she and Sam were pulled for another checkup, and you needed to be rushed to a surgery room urgently if you wanted to have the slightest chance of survival. So, Tara let you go, but there was not a moment when you weren't on her mind.

That's why now, she desperately searched for your surgeon with Sam. No one seemed to know about your condition, and she already felt like tearing her hair out from anxiety. Tara just needed to know if you were at least breathing.

"Dr. Isley?" Sam called the attention of a red-haired doctor who was passing by them in a hurry. Tara sighed in relief that her sister was paying attention to her surroundings because her mind was in a completely different place. "We were informed that you performed emergency surgery on a family member. Her name is Y/n Y/L, admitted with multiple stab wounds."

"Oh, yes. Miss Y/L." The doctor replied in a professional tone, but there was impatiency all over her body language. "It was a difficult surgery, and she lost a lot of blood, but fortunately, no vital organs were hit. I won't lie, the recovery will be painful, but at least she survived the operation without any apparent severe collateral effects."

This was the best news Tara had heard in days. She opened a smile and didn't even try to hide her own happiness as she prolonged the conversation. "Is she in any room? Can we see her?"

"Miss Y/L is in room 604, but I'm afraid only one person is allowed in at a time to avoid any disturbance."

"No problem, we can take turns." Sam pointed between her and her sister. Despite seeming much calmer than the younger one, Tara knew Sam was just as relieved as she was to know that you were still alive.

"No, you didn't understand. There's already someone in Miss Y/L's room." Dr. Isley warned and, seemingly losing the rest of her patience, she began to walk away. "Sorry, but I have other patients to attend to."

The two Carpenter sisters looked at each other alarmed. Who could be in your room? Chad was still in his own surgery, Anika had gone to stay with Mindy while she received some stitches, and frankly, your parents had never been present enough to travel between states so quickly for your sake.

They walked down the corridor, moving as fast as possible without disturbing the other people being treated or working in the area. Tara's heart threatened to jump out of her mouth as she looked from door to door, searching for the numbering of your room. 601. 602. 603.

Tara stopped so abruptly at the door that she and Sam bumped into each other, their sneakers making noise against the shiny white floor. The simple door had a small window through which it was possible to see the inside of the room without necessarily entering. Tara looked inside, ready to break the handle and force her way in if necessary.

But it wasn't, because Tara Carpenter recognized exactly the girl sitting next to your bed, holding your hand gently and stroking your hair, even though you were sleeping. She remembered, with a tightness in her chest, that Kate Bishop would be notified the moment she pressed the button.

And, in her own words, she would come running to take care of you.

"Tara, who-"

"I have to go." Tara interrupted her sister's words, looking at the scene in front of her without blinking. She knew what she had to do; there was no reason to fight the facts.

"What? What do you mean? You just got here." Sam asked, partially annoyed and partially confused by the younger one's actions.

"You heard the doctor. Her recovery will be painful, and if I stay around, all I'll cause is more pain." Tara opened a small smile just to try to pretend that she wasn’t dying inside. She knew Sam could see the truth, that she could see her broken heart and internal conflict, but she also knew that was the only possible solution.

"Tara..."

"Sam, you know I'm right. You told me that yourself a few days ago, remember? I hurt her." The girl shook her head in surrender and took a few steps away from the door. Away from you. "She needs peace, Sam. And the only way she can get that now is if I'm not around."

Tara took one last look inside the room, seeing how peaceful you looked. Sleeping, without any worries, and with an incredible and caring person by your side, ready to help you in whatever you needed.

Someone much better than her.

Perhaps that was the first time Tara had made a selfless decision in a long time, but she didn't feel deserving of any credit for it. What she had to do now was get better. Maybe more entries in her journal and more visits to her therapist would eventually fill the void she felt within her.

For now, she just turned around and started walking away from room 604. Each step hurt, like a razor cutting her skin, but it was the right thing to do. Tara had hurt you for far too long, and now...

Now it was time to let you go.

#scream #scream vi #scream 2022 #scream x reader #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #scream imagine #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter imagine #tara carpenter #Spotify

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saeist · 2 months

Text

to my first ── s. itoshi

synopsis: words i'll never get to say. from me, to you, my first genre: childhood lovers(?), mutual pinning, angst? word count: 3.9k warnings: the interactions with sae is basically just memories of the reader? hopefully i can pull off whatever writing style this is. pls bare w/ me!! notes: this is a little personal for me to write. i just felt like i needed to write this out of my system (T—T) i keep having reoccurring dreams about this specific person and i'm going crazy reminiscing what we could've been (i was literally 11 years old) listening to: about you – the 1975 & you were beautiful – day6

as much as you hate to admit it, you do believe in the saying "first love never dies"

first love,

first love is something you’d describe your relationship with sae itoshi.

you don’t really remember how it all started. everything seemed hazy to you now. like a long, lost forgotten memory you buried deep inside your mind. you swore you’d never relive those memories, as it felt like reopening an old wound

it's been almost a decade since you both left with unspoken words and feelings but you're sure that you've moved on. you're sure you are. you have moved on long ago when you realized you'll never see him again

it was silly really. it only took you a photo to remember everything about what you had with sae. maybe agreeing to catch up with old distant family friends was a bad decision on your part. apparently catching up with distant family friends also meant looking through old photo albums, reminiscing the good memories

looking back through the years, there were just moments in your life where you thought to yourself that maybe, just maybe everything wouldn’t be as shitty as it was now if you two were still together. times where you wished and prayed that everything was just a dream and as soon as you wake up, you know he’s still there.

with you.

it was in elementary school where you first met sae

among the other kids in your class, you and sae just strangely clicked. except for the times sae just felt the need to comment and insult the way you do things but despite that, there was a strange but comforting feel between the two of you

you've just recently moved to the neighborhood and coincidentally right next to the itoshi's. that meant that you lot would walk home together after school which prompted you and sae to get to know each other a little day by day

surprise was an understatement when sae first asked his mom if you could come over after school. mrs. itoshi was more than delighted that sae actually made friends in school but what she didn't expect was it was you who came over, the new girl next door

sae had felt something different about you and you knew that. he treated you differently than the others. he was more gentle and more light with his words with you. if it was anybody else, he would’ve already lashed out on them calling them prickly names to get under their skin

ironically enough, you two first bonded over minecraft.

“honey, i’m home” sae called out in a bland sing song voice, his player entering the house that you specifically made for the two of you

“what was that about” you giggled, whacking his player with your own

“nothing” sae says quickly placing his minecraft bed next to yours. “c’mon let’s sleep”

maybe you two were just naive as kids, not knowing what the warm feeling in your chests really means

it was the summer of sixth grade when you started to see sae in a completely different light

at this point, you and sae were known as childhood friends and nothing more. over the summers, you hung out with sae less frequently

it was no big deal, though. it was just kids going through personal growth. even if you and sae didn’t hang out like you used to back in elementary school, the family hangouts continued. over the years of you and sae being inseparable, both families had also bonded and formed a close friendship, becoming what one would call family friends.

there was a math training camp that your school holds every year and your dumbass decided to join for the baseless reason that your friends were also joining that same year

in your defense, you only joined because you didn't want to be left out on what they did over the weekends at school. so much that you eventually signed up even if you couldn't be bothered to answer math questionnaires that you don't even understand

however, towards the end of the training camp, you found a completely different reason on why you decided to stay

turns out sae had also signed up (probably because his parents and teachers encouraged him to join after seeing him excel in academics especially in math) for the math training camp

you will never forget the look on sae's face he saw you enter the classroom. he didn't think you were the type to join these type of things. when you catch his stare, you gave him a small wave and sat right next to him — to which he pays no mind, he was busy paying attention to the proctor up front anyway

—

the long day filled with reading different levels of math has come to an end when the proctor leaves the classroom

you let out a sigh of relief, leaning back on the armchair, brain completely fried from exhaustion. what the fuck did those symbols even mean? could you six graders really answer all those questions?

sae snickered beside you, glancing at your exhausted face

"tired already?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. the way he said his words almost felt like he was mocking you but you know he means well

"haha. very funny mr. genius" you laughed obnoxiously, waving him off as you look up at the ceiling

"just saying" sae puts his hands up in mock surrender. you can already see the smirk on his face but for now, you don't fight back. not now. you were too tired to come up with a snarky response

amidst to your small talk, your classmates had began flinging each other's shoes. tomfoolery, as you'd like to call it. how they still have the energy to make fools of themselves like they didn't just go through psychological warfare learning about a whole new world of mathematics hours before is beyond you

you sat up straight, attention now at your friends, “look at them.. what idiots” you commented, stifling a laugh as you watch friends and classmates run around the classroom just minutes after the proctor had left

sae bit back a laugh and nods in agreement. “yep”

you both shared a look before bursting into laughter.

you like to think that was the start of everything. the start of fire you two unknowingly ignited.

you don’t regret attending that damned math training camp your school held that one year. you don’t regret wasting your precious afternoon trying to answer those damn questionnaires that you don’t even understand. you don’t regret sitting next to him that day,

you don’t.

—

the night after the first day of your school's annual math training camp was never the same ever again

that was the night you and sae began talking online for the first time. after hours, as you'd like to call it. the initial message popped up on your screen, and soon, a stream of text flowed seamlessly between you two

it all started with just a simple 'hello, what are you doing right now?' to discussing basic interests, to different niches you two are into, and before you know it the birds were chirping and the sun was already been up. the quiet of the night had been filled with the soft tapping of your keyboard and controlled laughter, creating a private bubble where your friendship deepened and kept in the digital realm for years to come.

this went on for a good month before you realized that he had became a daily routine to you

despite all of that, it was still pretty hard to believe that you got close with sae again in just a short amount of time. you two were drastically different. you didn’t particularly stood out as you just liked to keep things to yourself and close friends. sae on the other hand, he excelled both in academics and sports. even going as far as taking piano classes during the weekend just because

you like to think that maybe it's just fate, a twist of life’s unpredictability, or maybe it's something deeper that neither of you could yet understand?

who knows?

it was in your homeroom classroom where you felt butterflies for the first time

you two were now freshmen in high school. fresh off middle school, fresh off that summer where you and sae had the whole world in your hands

the transition to high school brought with it a mix of anxiety and anticipation, the new environment buzzing with energy and the promise of new experiences

you and sae were deskmates at the start of the semester. you can't tell if this was on purpose by the teachers or fate was just doing it's thing

up until now, your unlabeled relationship with sae was going steady. just the usual chitchats and banter after school in the comfort of your two homes

you were just sitting beside him, listening to the teacher up ahead when you suddenly feel a hand snake their way on top of yours. the hand quickly intertwined its fingers with yours, and you’ve never felt that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach before

what was that?

you turned your head to look at the only person who could do such a thing

it was sae

it was sae, who was looking directly at the teacher in front of him like he was the only one present in this room. completely disregarding your curious stare beside him.

all of a sudden it felt like everything has gone into slow motion. the classroom around you seemed to blur, the chatter and movements of other students fading into the background as the touch of his hand anchored you in the moment

before you could've reacted further, the bell rang

sae untangled his hand from yours and walked away to move on to the next subject as if nothing had happened, leaving you to process the lingering warmth on your skin amidst the bustling noise of students packing up and the chatter filling the classroom. the abrupt return to normalcy felt jarring almost, the ordinary sounds and movements of your classmates contrasting sharply with the intimate moment you had just shared.

you can only stare at his back in complete shock on what just happened

what the fuck just happened?

little did you know, that was just the beginning of everything

—

you were starting to think you were going crazy. you're convincing yourself it was just some sick twisted dream. it has to be, it had to be. there was just no fucking way that just happened

asking sae directly was a bit too much, and you knew that. you knew that he wouldn't give you a direct answer– hell, you're lucky if you'd even be given an answer about that

so instead, you decided to test the waters again. if you could somehow lure him into doing it again then, you'd have your answer

your class was at the library for some reading exercises when you decided to put your plan into action. It was simple, really. you placed your hand at your side under the table, hoping sae would take the bait.

he did.

sae tightened the grip on your hand when he intertwined them for the second time today. it was like he was trying to tell you a message through that little action

this time, you dared to look at him. you lightly tugged on his arm, hoping it would catch his attention

to think your little plan had actually worked the second time, you knew something was up between the two of you.

sae decided to play coy, much to your disappointment. he began writing down in his notebook using his left hand while his dominant hand was busy holding yours under the table, yet he still showed no other signs of acknowledgment what-so-ever

it almost felt like he was tormenting you

sae feels a small smile tug on his lips when he catches you looking away while pouting.

how cute, he thought to himself

you didn't know how to bring it up to him later on when you two get home but you don't miss the way the tips of his ears have a slight tint of a red hue when he held your hand under the table

whatever this set up you two had, it went on for awhile without anyone noticing. sae would randomly hold hands with you under the table and shake you off once the bell rings as you move on to the next next class

sometimes you think he’s doing it on purpose to mess with you but at the same time, you don’t.

it was during science class when sae blushed for the first time

it's times like this that you were glad your teacher made you sit at the back row

instead of listening to your teacher's discussion, you had your own discussion with sae, who was seated right next to you about movies you've both watched growing up

“that’s not how it goes though” you hushed, trying to not raise your voice as the science teacher was in front of you having teaching a lesson

“you’re wrong then” sae argues back, jotting down notes on a piece of paper.

you clicked your tongue in annoyance, “did you even watch the movie?” you asked, raising your voice a bit. sae suddenly looks up from his paper and looked at you, annoyed

“i should be the one asking you that” he argues, diverting his attention back to his messy notes. you wonder how he could still be at the top of the class when his notes are all over the place

before you could argue further, it seemed like the entire class including the teacher was listening to your little argument

“would you mind sharing your heated discussion back there to the class?” your teacher chimes in, halting your heated argument at the back.

you and sae both freeze in your seats. you slowly turned your head to see the rest of the class staring at the two of you with knowing smiles and smirks.

sae opened his mouth in an attempt to defend himself but the furious blush creeping up from his neck to his face says otherwise.

“kids these days..” your teacher teased, obviously up to date with the rumors circulating around you and sae. the class giggled as sae shifted awkwardly in his seat with an obvious blush on his cheeks.

your ‘relationship’ with the red head has been slowly progressing into something more. that of which didn't go unnoticed by your fellow classmates and teachers

whatever your status was with sae has already spread among the class. the innocent teasing of your fellow classmates, commenting how cute you two were as a couple spread like wildfire.

you're not too sure if what propelled your relationship with sae was caused by the innocent teasing by your classmates

it was in his room when you asked sae what you two were

you were almost akin to the itoshi household that it didn't bother them that you'd stay over for multiple periods of time. you were like the daughter they never had and they've always welcomed you with open arms.

you held hands with him again that night. you were lying down on his bed with him, a few inches of space in between. “distance” is what he says as he intertwined his hands with yours – again.

“this is weird.. what are we?” you asked.

sae shrugged, holding your intertwined hands up high, almost like he’s inspecting it.

“i don’t know”

you don't miss the small smile on his face when you waved goodbye to him when your mom picks you up after work

there were times where you just wanted to ask him, “why me?” but you knew he would just throw a backhanded compliment saying that you were more tolerable than the others he knew.

instead, you didn’t think too much of it. you’ve already brought up the question to him in your daily conversations. to which he usually just dismisses it as nothing

after all, he himself wasn’t sure if you two were even a thing.

[10:45 PM] you: sae, seriously.. what are we?

[10:46 PM] sae itoshi: i don't know

it was in the hallway when sae accidentally lashed out on you

sae was addictive

sae had became a drug that you couldn't stop taking. ever since that night, you couldn't end your day without at least talking to him. sae had become apart of your everyday routine. you had grown accustomed to his daily commentary about anyone and anything

it turns out not only his teachers can make sae flustered, but also his own set of friends

they were teasing sae again when you walked right past them. there was an unspoken rule between the two of you where you two act like you weren’t that close outside the classrooms, something you never really understood the concept of

you rolled your eyes per usual and ignored the obvious innuendos thrown about the two of you.

“why do you look constipated?” you laughed as you two finally got some alone time at the back of the classroom, just a few minutes before the classroom gets filled with students after lunch “it’s my friends, they’re being stupid as usual” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“why? did they say anything about us?” you joked, swinging your feet off the table

sae visibly stiffened at the question, “yeah but it’s nothing to be concerned about” he huffed after giving it much thought

“i want to know what they said” you whined, pouting in front of him. somehow it occurred to you that he actually gives in when you throw the puppy eyes at him.

sae flicked your forehead, “no.” he says flatly. you grab onto his hand, swaying it slightly. “sae c’mon just tell me i swear i won’t be offended” you pestered him, poking his chest til he gives in.

“they said disgusting things about us okay?! happy now?!” sae snapped. “i won’t get into detail but i really wanted to wipe the smirk off their faces” he seethed

“oh..” you squeaked, feeling small

sae picks up on your sudden discomfort and pulled your head against his chest. “i'm sorry. i didn't mean to yell" he murmurs, "don’t worry though. they won’t bother us anymore. i already told them off earlier”

it was during rin's 14th birthday when sae realized he liked you

you were at his house again. it was his brother’s birthday and your family came over late due to the fact that your younger brother also had his kindergarten graduation on the same day.

“you’re well dressed today, y/n-san” his brother, rin comments as you enter their house.

“that’s because i came after brother’s graduation” you retort, tapping rin's cheek, not forgetting to greet him his birthday wishes

“yeah right” his brother scoffs, pushing your hand away. he was exactly like sae at the end of the day “use protection or whatever..” rin says when you knock at sae's room before you enter

you were about to tell rin off for saying such things about you and his older brother when sae yanks the door open

“what the hell was that dumbass talking about— woah” sae's eyes peered over to the dress you were wearing. " you look pretty" he mumbles, grabbing your hand and dragging you inside his room

it was almost midnight when you realized that you talked the night away with sae in his bed, under his covers

"oh shit, it's almost midnight" you pulled out your phone to check the time that reads 11:11 PM

sae took a moment to listen for his parents laughter outside his door. he pats your head and intertwined your fingers under the covers

"it's fine. they're still having fun outside so let's continue what we were talking about" sae says, going back to the topic that you lost track of

you pulled your intertwined hands as you take a good look at it

"sae, i think i like you" your little naive self admitted

sae smiled but you didn't see it

"i like you too"

before you could’ve said anything, the door to sae's room bursts open to reveal rin and your little brother.

in that moment, you and sae sat up and tried to fix yourselves. not like you two did anything inappropriate but the mere thought of it just sent shivers down your spine. not when rin and your little brother were at the age where they would tattle to their respective parents

"i think we're going home" you murmured to sae, patting his leg before standing up and walking over to your brother and rin

"i'll chat you when i get home, sae" you waved goodbye, closing his door on your way out

you missed the big smile on sae's lips when he realizes that he liked you back

it was the following summer when you unexpectedly had to move away

it all happened too fast

some complication had happened between the jobs between your parents that resulted to having no choice but moving far away to the countryside

from what you've heard, your parents and sae's parents had a falling out amidst everything. your dad was convinced mr. itoshi had something to do with his job then word got out then one thing led to another and now you're here, being told off by your mother that you had to cut all contact with sae

"just for a couple of months til we get back on our feet. we don't want them to know where we are" your mother tried to convince you. she tried so hard. she inevitably had to take your phone and deactivate whatever social media you had on there to keep your locations a secret

this was stupid, you thought to yourself. this was between the adults but you still lived under their roof so you had to do what they said

you never saw sae ever again after that

they say fate can be the most cruelest thing

it's been almost nine years since the incident that you had to leave the life you spent years yearning what you could've lived

nine years of radio silence from both ends of a string you call fate

your family had reconnected with a mutual friend that didn't take sides when your family and the itoshi's had a falling out

you met up with the mutual friend and had a good long conversation about how life has been treating you since then

one could say you never got the closure you wanted after that day. even if nine years had passed, the little girl in you who sae had on the palm of his hands, still firmly believes that if you two were destined to cross paths again after all these years, it would all still be the same

your mutual friend had graciously showed you a recent picture of sae itoshi over the years and all you could say was

wow.

it's too late now, you think to yourself. nine years too late. you already had your life figured out. you were finally happy and in a committed relationship for a couple of years now but yet, the feelings you didn't know you still had in you, all crashed around you with just a single picture of the first boy you think you've ever loved

── they say first love never dies

maybe in another life time, in another universe, maybe you two will cross paths again. this time, in the end it will end with you.

#based on a SICK dream i had today like i deadass woke up crying #sae imagines #sae x reader #sae scenarios #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #blue lock scenarios #bllk imagines #bllk x reader #bllk scenarios #sae itoshi imagines #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi scenarios #itoshi sae imagines #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae scenarios

179 notes · View notes

satans-helper · 2 months

Text

In Your Fantasy

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x (F) Reader

Word Count: ~5300

Warnings: semi-public sex (like...very low-key), oral sex (F receiving), unprotected PIV sex. 18+ only ~

This took me forever to finish because I started it before my stupid tonsillectomy and I was totally useless throughout most of the recovery. Also, it's been absolutely ages since I wrote a Jake x Reader fic so I'm not sure how I feel about it...I really enjoyed writing this regardless of my trepidation though. I loved the idea of falling in love with him at work and him being so cheeky...hope you enjoy it too <3

P.S. also ages ago, I wrote a Josh x Reader fic that also took place in a library which you can read here. Links on my desktop masterlist aren't active for some reason...but I found it using a certain tag lmao. If you know, you know.

---

You were finishing up fixing the order of some art books in the back of the library when you felt Jake come up behind you. “Wanna hear something kind of crazy?” he whispered in your ear, his chin nearly on your shoulder, his hair brushing against yours. Without even seeing him, the closeness and warmth of his body and the low, husky whisper sent a tingle up your spine–he certainly added a level of intrigue to working in a library.

“Always,” you said, slipping the last book into the correct spot. It was a quiet Thursday afternoon–you’d thought it’d actually be busier given the rain that kept bucketing down outside, creating an even cozier atmosphere, but maybe people just wanted to stay home with their books instead. That was fine by you. You liked it when it was nearly dead silent throughout the building and Jake was there to occasionally break through, his voice a river through your thoughts and his subtle touches all shockwaves to your heart.

When you turned around to face him, Jake looked like he was holding back a hilarious joke or something, eyes all eager and a grin tight on his lips like he was bursting at the seams. “So I just went to the bathroom and guess what I heard?” he went on, raising his eyebrows.

You scrunched up your nose, already worried. This wasn’t what you were expecting when he’d said ‘something crazy.’ What sort of craziness happened in libraries anyway? “There are a lot of things I can think of. Is this a gross story?”

Jake chuckled. “It depends on your definition of ‘gross.’ Okay,” he said, looking around to make sure you two were still alone in the section. Then he looked into your eyes again and lowered his voice even more to tell you, “There were people fucking in there.”

You scoffed, offended on behalf of the library–the sacred, beautiful space where people went to relax and read, not deal with lewd conduct. That wasn’t crazy, that was just offensive! “What, like two guys?” you questioned, tilting your head, a little irked at Jake finding this all so funny.

“No, a guy and a girl.”

“Ugh. That’s even worse. Women shouldn’t have to deal with getting laid in a men’s bathroom,” you said, then were momentarily distracting yourself with yet another out of place book on the shelf. “I’d never do that. I can’t believe someone else is. I mean, kids go here.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Jake said slowly. He leaned against the bookshelf and looked at you pointedly, his dark eyes even darker in the dim light. “Then again–”

Before he could finish, you had another thought. “Wait, Jake–did you say anything to them?”

“No. What could I say? I just high-tailed it out of there as soon as I heard.”

You sighed. The whole thing would be far more redeemable if your boyfriend had at least tried to throw out some warning words to the perpetrators. “You should have told them to stop. I would have.”

“I’m sure they finished soon after I left.” He smirked. “It sounded like they were pretty close.”

You groaned quietly and turned away, preferring to find another thing to busy yourself with now. “Gross. They should be banned.”

Jake followed along right at your side as you whisked through the rest of the art section and back to the cart you needed to empty. “I didn’t see who they were, so no chance of that.” At the cart, he put his hands on it, keeping it in place. “I actually thought you’d find it sort of amusing, Y/N.”

You leaned over, almost close enough to touch your noses together. “You’re such a guy. Only a guy would think it’s amusing and not disgusting.”

“I don’t know about that. Maybe you’re just a little stuffy,” Jake replied, tilting his head up as if he were challenging you. “Although maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, considering we’ve never done anything like that.”

You scoffed again and leaned back, surprised and still a little irritated, but also genuinely curious. “Oh, so you want to fuck around in a public place? That’s something I didn’t know about you.”

Jake’s challenging stance turned crestfallen, and he lifted one of your hands to press a kiss to. “Forget I said anything about it. I mean, I suppose you’re right–it is kind of gross.” He kept your hand clasped in his for a few seconds as he said, “But I’d never make love to you in a public bathroom. I’d hope you know me better than that.”

You looked over your shoulder at the sound of a man clearing his throat, settling down into a chair with a newspaper. He wasn’t paying any attention to you or Jake, but you gave the cart a push anyway, cajoling Jake off it so you could navigate to where you needed to go next.

“It’s really the fact that it’s the bathroom that makes it so gross,” you whispered as Jake kept following you. You couldn’t deny you’d had some secret fantasies about getting it on in the library–after all, it was where you and Jake had met and where you continued to spend the most time together. But none of your fantasies included the restrooms in the hall, or the utility closet or that little corridor tucked away across from the restrooms where the vending machines were. Too grody, too cramped, too obvious.

“At least our bathrooms are clean.” Jake parked himself right next to you once you were in the biography section, and when you stepped away from the cart, he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you in place. “But if I’m being really honest, I have thought about us, well, fooling around here. I think it’s quite surprising we never have.”

“Jake,” you said in an attempt to protest, but his sweet, pretty face and ticklish touch on your waist made you giggle, and his confession that echoed your own secret thoughts lit a little spark. “We work here!”

“So? All the more reason. It’s always been our special place.” Jake smiled as he got even closer to kiss you; you kissed him back, looping your arms over his shoulders. He was smiling even bigger when you both broke away and he said, “You know, it’s just me closing tonight. You should stay after with me.”

“God, and do what?” you replied, but, despite yourself, you were growing more intrigued.

“Well, don’t you think the study rooms here are nice and cozy?” Jake questioned, still latching himself to your side as you started to put more books away. “There aren’t any cameras in any of them either. No one would know.”

You looked up at him from your crouched position, sliding a book into place. “Someone would know. Someone would find out somehow.” You were quickly finding even more perfectly good reasons in your mind not to do this, to not even really toy with the idea, but the more you thought about it, the more you thought, why not? Could the risk make it more fun? Even just the new, ill-fitting, sort of scandalous environment?

Besides, Jake really did look hot today. He looked hot every day, but the second you’d seen him after he’d come into work earlier, he’d lit a fire in your belly that was more intense than usual. His hair had the perfect level of slight messiness and the relaxed black button-down shirt was perhaps one or two buttons shy of being overtly inappropriate for work; the smooth tan skin of his chest exposed and acting as a lovely backdrop to the long silver chain dangling, the pendant hitting his sternum. You could imagine tugging on that chain, grasping the pendant in your palm, to pull him closer while he pressed you against one of those thick wooden tables. You’d run your fingers through his hair and kiss him in the frozen silence, and maybe no one would ever know after all.

“I can practically hear the wheels turning,” Jake remarked, tapping your forehead once you were standing again. “You know you want to.”

You let out an inadvertent nervous giggle and rolled your eyes. “Yes, I’m thinking about it.”

Jake stepped closer, pressing you back against the cart of books. “I’d love to hear some of those thoughts,” he said, putting his hands on your waist.

“You’re lucky it’s dead here today,” you said, keeping your voice a whisper despite the, indeed, dead library around you. You rested your arms over his shoulders, twisting a strand of his hair between your fingers; Jake just kept looking at you with that sweet, silently begging gaze until you giggled, relenting. “Okay. I was, um…thinking about you pushing me down on one of those big tables.”

Jake’s eyebrows rose. “What else?”

“Well…” you began, looking down at his dark jeans rubbing against your skirt. “You’re giving me some more ideas now.” You lifted one foot off the floor to rub your calf over his, the delicate material of your tights creating subtle but scintillating friction against his denim.

Jake ran the tip of his nose up your cheek and whispered in your ear, “Same here.”

Just as you were closing your eyes and allowing yourself to let your environment fall away around you, to forget about all the risk of being caught right there, and just as Jake’s hand was sliding down between your legs, a person’s incredibly soft–thanks to the clever carpeting job–footsteps headed your way yanked you right out of the moment.

Jake, too. He shot back and cleared his throat, ran a hand through his hair and looked in the direction of the footsteps; you did too, and soon enough an older woman with her nose already in an open book trotted past the shelves.

“See?” you whispered, gesturing at the passer-by who was already out of view. “It’s so easy to get caught.”

“Please, that lady didn’t notice a thing. Alright,” Jake said before he stole one last hurried kiss. “I should let you keep doing your job and I should carry on with mine. But will you stay after with me tonight?”

You pursed your lips as you looked at him, considering, but it wasn’t long before you said, “Alright, Jake. I’ll stay after and we can play out your little fantasy.”

“It’s your fantasy too, baby doll,” Jake said with a wink before he half-turned, beginning to step away. “I think we’ve established that.”

There wasn’t a whole lot to keep your mind occupied as the afternoon carried on. The rain kept coming down, hammering hard against the roof and windows, and the sky outside was pure gray, all flat and blank. It reminded you of your first day working here, as a matter of fact–that morning in the previous late October, when autumn’s chill was officially in the air. A fine layer of frost had even been on the ground that morning; your shoes had crunched over it on the short walk to your car and you’d had to use your defroster once you turned the key, your anxiety peaking as you had to wait even longer to start the new job.

How could such a quiet, peaceful place encite so much anxiety anyway? You remembered wondering that very question as you walked over the sidewalk to the library entrance for the first time since being hired, the concrete slick with that morning frost and the beginnings of a gentle rainfall. And just when you’d been settling in and getting comfortable, Jake had showed up and introduced himself, all casual and easy like he didn’t know he was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen.

Thankfully, Jake was also the sweetest man you’d ever met. It didn’t take long before his beauty and charm stopped intimidating you and instead just made you feel all light and full of joy–you were simply happy to chat with him whenever you both could spare a few minutes. Those few minutes steadily turned into shared breaks; then, shared lunches where you’d sit out back on the one picnic table when the weather permitted. Then he started bringing you special treats sometimes, things he knew you liked because he actually listened about what you liked, and then after that he started bringing you whole lunches packed with love and care that you’d never experienced before.

So, after all that, was it really such a big deal to make love inside the place in which you fell in love?

None of your other coworkers even seemed to notice that you were staying later than planned this evening. But, just to be safe, you also made a point to hide out in the kid’s section when closing time crept up, busying yourself with cleaning up stray crayons and markers and then browsing through some of the newer picture book additions when you were done with that.

When you were sliding one picture book back onto the shelf and reaching for another, you noticed the part of the library beyond the kid’s section dim; you stood up and walked out into the main area, and there Jake was behind the checkout counters flipping switches.

“Despite almost always being the one to close,” he said, flipping another switch. “I still sometimes forget which lights actually get turned off and which ones stay on.”

A path of yellow light led the way past the checkout and reception, past the few rows of public use desktop computers. Jake held your hand as you both stepped through the library, your heartbeat speeding up a bit with nervous yet delightful anticipation; a few more steps and you were further into the very back of the library, just about there. Four study rooms were staggered just beyond the teen reading section, two on the left and two on the right with a wall of windows in between.

Jake opened the door to the last study room on the right. A large window was in there too, soaking in the deep sunset that was resting beyond the grass outside and the trees, and the mostly-bare branches of all the trees were throwing shadows across the library grounds. Then Jake flipped the light on, making it all disappear.

“Oh no,” you said, reaching behind him to flip it off again. “It’s sort of magical with the light off. Look at that sunset.”

Jake followed your gaze out the window to the wash of deep blue painted across the sky, nighttime so early in autumn that only a slight sliver of golden-orange remained just on the horizon. The rain had stopped a few minutes ago and had left a lingering mist on the ground, its faint haze trailing along just outside the windows–the whole scene was so much more peaceful than what was going on inside your head. You couldn’t shake the possibility of getting caught even though Jake was right about there being no cameras back here, and there was no one else around, not even any of the custodial staff, and not a soul out there in the fog. Just you and Jake in the little dark study room, his hand still warm around your own.

Your thoughts started to drift away, making space for your mind to comprehend the shadowed image of Jake before you as he gently turned you to face him. He smiled with the slightest bit of white teeth gleaming between his full lips, and you instinctively smiled back, pulled under his charm again. So, now effortlessly charmed and put at ease, you wrapped him in your arms and pulled him close, caressing his shoulder blade with one hand and the slight curve of his waist with the other as both of your smiles disappeared into a kiss.

“You were making me crazy all day,” he remarked between the kisses that accelerated with both of your lips parted and the wet meeting of tongues.

“Really? You kept it well-hidden.” Of course Jake did–you never doubted his affection and passion for you, but he kept everything so private. It was one of the many things you liked about him. You cupped the back of his head, sinking your fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp with your nails just the way he liked it, and kissed him again.

“God, your ass in this skirt,” Jake said, voice a little rough, and he reached down to grab you there. “The way your hips move.” He licked his bottom lip as he took a moment to just look at you, his eyes scanning your face. “So unbelievably pretty.”

You held the side of his face. “You are too, Jakey.” He really was, and even in the dark–perhaps especially in the dark, actually. The shadows enveloped him in even more mystery than normal, but you could still so plainly see the angles of his face and the smoothness of his skin in the faint, distant glow of the lingering sunset. Jake smiled at the sound of that little nickname coming from you, then disappeared as he pressed his lips to yours again and pushed you back against the table just like in your little fantasy.

You felt the warmth of his hand travel around your hip then slide down over your skirt; you kissed him harder and spread your legs a little wider when his fingers skated effortlessly up your thigh over your tights. Jake purred against your mouth as he traced the seam of those tights, and subsequently the crotch of your panties beneath, with one fingertip, and your own hands hurried down his body with much less grace to squeeze his ass and feel the hardness between his legs as reciprocity.

Before you could do much more than that, he was pushing your skirt up all the way with one hand and continuing to use the other to tease you. Your breath caught in your throat as you were finding yourself trying to stay silent despite the library being completely empty; Jake carried on with longer, deeper touches over the crotch of your panties and tights. The steady back and forth of his fingers over the two thin layers of fabric sent a delightful tingle of pleasure up your spine but you couldn’t forget his either–you kept that one hand of your own on his crotch too, gently squeezing his erection through his pants.

Jake huffed softly and kissed you again; you clutched his arm with your other hand, squeezing his bicep. Maybe other people didn’t mind getting caught–maybe there really was some sort of thrill to it. Maybe other people actually sometimes wanted others to witness their most intimate moments but you didn’t. You couldn’t imagine doing this with the lights on in the middle of the day, with the soft noises of people beyond the walls and the risk of someone catching a glimpse from opening the door or from outside the windows. You were perfectly happy with having Jake all to yourself in the shadowed little square study room, his skin so perfectly warm, his kiss so perfectly molded to yours.

“Was this part of your fantasy?” Jake questioned as he slowly sank to his knees, keeping your skirt bunched up over your hips with both hands now. But it was obvious what he was doing, so you took their place to keep it out of the way while his hands squeezed your thighs as he pressed his face between your legs.

The scant sharpness of his teeth over your crotch made you gasp. “Maybe,” you answered, thighs quivering against the table behind you.

“Oh, come on,” Jake beckoned, looking up at you with a sweet but slightly mischievous gaze, his eyebrows raised just enough to display teasing curiosity.

“Seems like you already know,” you replied, stifling a giggle at him struggling to get your tights down from beneath your skirt.

“I don’t know how you wear these things,” he remarked, which made you actually let out a laugh.

“Just rip them for fuck’s sake,” you instructed, eager now, already wet for him. “They’re not expensive.”

Jake didn’t hesitate. “If you insist,” he said as he grabbed a fistful of black nylon in each hand and ripped the tights right open, then quickly pulled your panties to the side next, giving you no time to think at all anymore. Whatever words your mind may have found merely turned to shaky breaths as you watched Jake’s face disappear between your legs again.

He gave a little hum just as he went straight in, the bridge of his nose rubbing up against your clit while he dove his tongue into your center like he really did want to eat up all the arousal that had been conjured up just for him. Your fingers found his hair again, knuckles curling to tug the long strands while your nails scratched his scalp again and he let out a little pleased sound, almost like a gratified laugh, and dug his own blunt nails into your inner thigh as he kept you spread open.

One word finally emerged from your lips–Jake’s name, simply spoken in a soft tone as the ministration of his tongue and lips had you squirming and quivering even harder, your heels digging into the carpet below as you slightly struggled to stay upright. The repeated flicks of tongue over your clit disappeared for a brief moment, then slowed to one long drag of his tongue over your center just to start that quick pace again. Sighs and whimpers were dragged out of you with each lick; when Jake slipped two fingers in, the slow but easy stretch made you tremble and clench your fingers into his hair even harder.

“You’re so tight,” he commented when he pulled back just enough for you to look down again and see your own wetness glistening on his lips and chin. You could feel it too, how much tighter you were clenching around his fingers as he gently thrust them and teased, curling them and now rubbing your clit with his thumb.

“You’re so good,” you told him breathlessly, closing your eyes again when the sensations had you arching your back. You hissed and bit your lip when Jake’s mouth found you again, his tongue teasing your clit more while he slid his fingers in deeper.

You had thought it would take more of a conscious effort to relax in this space and just let go, but it was easy, so easy–you just let your body respond to Jake with each tremble and moan and gasp and tug at his hair until your legs were outright shaking. Panting, the peak rising deep inside, you pulled him closer and he obliged, sucking on your clit as his fingers curled and gently tugged deep inside you too as if he was literally trying to pull you right to the edge you were already rapidly careening to.

His name from your lips once more wasn’t a soft little sigh; it was a sharp, long whine that seemed to boom in the little study room. Your ferocity surprised you even more when the overstimulation came on so soon and you yanked his head back with one hand and shoved him away with the other, your hand gripping his shoulder. Panting, eyes still shut, you could feel how much wetter you were with his saliva and the rush of your orgasm, the fluid soaking your panties that were pulled to the side and even the very inside of your thighs.

Jake pressing a kiss to your thigh made you look down but he was getting up on his feet now; your gaze followed the steady movement of his rise and then you were whisked away into blissful darkness again when he closed in and kissed you–close-lipped because he was so polite. But you parted yours and slid your tongue over his and gripped his waist tight for a moment before hastily getting those buttons on his shirt undone, fingers trailing all the way down to get his pants undone next.

He tentatively pushed you back onto the table a bit more so your feet were off the floor, legs still spread wide around him and dangling when he pulled his pants and underwear down just enough to reveal that heated hardness. His cock leaked just a bit as he stroked it once, looking at you, and a blip of that old insecurity born from adoration and fascination stroked your brain, because Jake was just so beautiful and his beauty was so much more stark in contrast to the plain white walls behind him.

“That was intense,” Jake said with a chuckle, leaning in to kiss you. You sighed against his lips as he slid the head of his cock all through your wet center, making a point to rub longer and harder over your clit. As he slid in, taking your breath away entirely, he sighed too and you watched his shoulders drop and his chest flush and he asked, so casually, “Is your fantasy being fulfilled?”

Even with the impact of Jake’s cock filling you so perfectly, you had to laugh. “You're a fantasy, Jake,” you told him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to bring him closer, to make the head of his cock hit so deep inside you that you gasped again as if you weren’t expecting the feeling. “What about–” You had to pause when Jake gave his first thrust. “What about your fantasy? This was all your idea.”

“It was a shared idea,” he reminded you with the cutest little smile. How could anyone be so sexy and adorable at the same time, especially during the actual act of sex, especially when that sex was taking place inside a public library? But he was, and you kept your eyes on him as he steadily sped up with his hips and his hands explored your body over your clothes, one squeezing your breast through your shirt and the other smoothing down your waist, your hip, traveling around your thigh.

“Oh god,” you chirped when Jake’s fingers made contact with your still-sensitive clit; but he was gentle, clearly deliberately being slow with the little circles he was making. With your arms still a loop around his shoulders, you sank your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and held him there for a minute before the soft pink of his chest became too tempting not to touch.

“Fuck yeah, that feels amazing,” Jake said in that deliciously hazy, husky voice after you slipped your hands past his open shirt to toy with his nipples. Bringing more attention to him put your lingering overstimulation in the background–you continued to tease with one hand while the other skated over the other side of his chest, feeling his warm, soft skin, up to his neck. You caressed him there, your fingers lightly touching the tender skin along his throat and then up to his ear, and Jake moaned softly and tilted his head to try and get more contact.

That was fine by you. You lightly scratched behind his ear like he was a cat and he sort of purred like one anyway, making you giggle; Jake giggled too and surged forward, picking up his pace as he whisked you away with another series of kisses that were deep but just sloppy enough for your mutual moans to be voiced.

But, also to your surprise, Jake began to voice more thoughts between increasingly ragged breaths: “Remember when we first met?” he asked, his fingers over your clit sliding down to get slick again from your own arousal. “That was–fuck, that was such a good day.”

“It was,” you agreed, playing with one of his earrings as your other hand squeezed his pec. “I’m lucky I even got the job here. For a lot of reasons.” You stole another lingering kiss before adding, “You’re the biggest reason.”

Jake smiled. The sunset that had been just barely clinging to life when you’d both began was gone now–the only illumination was coming from a parking lot light that was too far away from the windows to see, but the pale yellow glow was scant enough to see that alluring, mystical beauty that your boyfriend possessed. Just looking at his face was enough to make you come again.

But Jake’s skilled fingers and the heat, weight and stretch of his cock still thrusting into you certainly helped. You buried your face against his neck now that you had access to all of him; a thick sob was muffled as you tightened and spasmed around him, and you heard him let out a quiet “wow” as the second orgasm rolled through you.

His fingers on your clit, thankfully, moved away. He gripped your thigh again instead; his pace was now messy and fierce, and you had to fight to stay in place not only from the harsh movements and how the table you were sitting on was skidding a bit across the floor, but also from that second round of intense bodily excitement.

“God,” you huffed, stifling another laugh. Apparently it didn't matter where you were–if you were with Jake, he just gave you the giggles. “You’re really going for it.”

Jake cradled the back of your head, messing with your hair a bit. “And I’m–hmm–almost there.”

You kissed him softly and sweetly, from his collarbone and up his neck to his ear. “Good boy,” you whispered there, giving his ear a nibble. Jake moaned wordlessly in response and gave one last deep, solid thrust that jostled you backwards and made the table creak, then he went slack over you, his whole upper body all loose and so hot that warmth was radiating through his shirt.

When Jake lifted his head, you leaned back and waved the back of your hand over your forehead with a silly “whew” motion; Jake laughed and nodded, then slowly pulled out. He collapsed forward again, resting his head on your chest, and you wrapped your arms around him once more.

“Well, we’ve done it once. Do we ever need to do it again?” you asked, petting his back.

“Like, um, sex?” Jake asked, mumbling against your chest. “Or sex in the library?”

“In the library, duh,” you said with a chuckle, and kissed him when he lifted himself up and looked at you.

“Where else should we do it?” Jake replied, his tone and little smile making it obvious he was kidding–finally. You were glad to have played out this little fantasy and do something new and a little risky, but you’d be even more glad to just go back to the way things were. Nothing wrong with a classic.

“Our bed, definitely,” you said, and Jake smiled and nodded again; you began working on buttoning up his shirt. “Our couch. The floor. Maybe the shower.”

“Maybe?”

“Last time we tried the shower, you nearly cracked your head open,” you reminded him, lifting a hand to cup his jaw. “And nearly broke your perfect teeth.”

Jake’s smile grew wider. “That would be terrible, wouldn’t it?”

“I’d never forgive that stupid shower.”

Jake patted his hands from your shoulders down the length of your body, stopping at your ankles. “Well, babe, we’re both in one piece now, aren’t we? Time to close up?”

“Definitely. The custodians are probably going to be here any minute.”

“Oh my.” Jake held your hand to bring you off the table. “That would have been quite the show for them.”

“No more shows,” you said as you both put the finishing touches on getting yourselves decent before Jake opened the door. “I should be the only one looking at you when we fuck.”

---

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Tagging: @kissingsun @starbuggie @lightsofthe-living-gvf @sanguinebats @gvfrry @milojames16 @mindastreamofcolours @wetkleenex-gvf @itsafullmoon @heckingfrick @peaceloveunitygvf @musicspeaks @clairesjointshurt @bizzielisteningtogreta

#cumsluts only #in honor of my old gvf mutuals RIP #Jake kiszka #Jake gvf #Jake kiszka x reader #gvf #greta van fleet #gvf fanfiction #Jake fic #gvf smut

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p1utofairy · 1 year

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PAC: “i get so weak in the knees, i can hardly speak. i lose all control and something takes over me…” 💌⏳🦢🍸

• how does your crush currently feel about you?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. here's something to kick off fall 🍂 take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. enjoy!

pile 1 📩 —

heyyy pile 1! let's jump right into your reading 🤗 i'm already hearing that you think about your crush A LOT like you can't get them off your mind even if you tried and they feel the exact same way. you two mirror each other so if you feel intensely about them, they're also feeling intensely about you even if they don't convey that outwardly (i.e. their facial expressions/body language) i feel like they’re not used to having a huge crush on someone, it usually just kinda…happens for them??? like they don't usually have to put a lot of work in to make someone fall for them (bc i'm visually seeing that they're pretty damn attractive) but that's not gonna cut it with you — they just can't get by on their looks. you're big on taking your time to get to know someone and building up that level of trust and respect. you carry yourself very well pile 1 and that's really what made them do a double take when they first saw you. you're 1 of 1 — they've never seen anyone like you before. i'm hearing that some of you may look exotic or people tell you that you resemble a specific celebrity a lot? idk but just know you get the blood rushing through their veins lol they can't help but feel excited when they're around you, yet they barely know you which is the crazy part. they feel like they know you but they don't…and that's what so intriguing to them. stranger by jhené aiko is coming to mind, “i know ya face, i know ya name but i don't know you? isn't that crazy? isn't that crazy?” you may judge them at first and already think the worst like “oh i bet they’re a player!” but don’t jump to conclusions! give it a chance. they may actually surprise you and treat you like royalty, cause i feel a lot of adoration coming from their end…even though they know little to nothing about you. i want you around by snoh aalegra is playing in my head, “it's somethin' 'bout the way you stare into my eyes. i know that i don't make things clear. i fall for you every time i try to resist you.” they’re gonna fall hard for you pile 1. they’re definitely going to want to get serious and make this official which will shock you both, because of how fast things will just come together naturally. AHHH I LOVE IT.

other channeled messages:

whoa by snoh aalegra, kiss me thru the phone by soulja boy ft. sammie, tattoos, glasses, scorpio placements/scorpio moon, wifey, bright smile, almond shaped eyes, petite figure, girl of my dreams, kissin’ on my tattoos by august alsina, u are my high by dj snake & future, prominent air sign placements

pile 2 ⚖️ —

hiiiii pile 2 💓 right away i’m hearing that your crush feels like you’re unattainable? you might be really popular or a naturally social person that everyone clings to, and they find this a bit intimidating. they don’t know how to approach you – they've been trying to figure out how to get your attention but little do they know that they already have it. y'all might have a dynamic like summer and seth from ‘the O.C.’ and/or stiles and lydia from ‘teen wolf’ aw when they find out you like them back it'll most likely catch them off guard like “who?! ME?!” lol they’re so cute. you’re very dreamy to them, they'll damn near start drooling when you’re in close proximity to them…i’m also hearing that they love the way you dress. you show just enough to let their imagination wander lol idk if they wanted me to say that cause i can see their cheeks getting red and them getting all flustered 🤣 let me just say that they respect you so much! they’ll feel so lucky to finally get to know you on a personal level because they’ve been inquiring about you for awhile now. you’ll be everything that they dreamed of plus more & vice versa. there’s definitely a best friend dynamic at the root of this connection, you both will be able to be yourselves unapologetically when you're together. i feel sooo much warmth and comfort. idk why belly and jeremiah from ‘the summer i turned pretty’ just popped up in my head lol but yeah they will love holding you gently and staring into your eyes longingly 😩 SO ADORBS.

other channeled messages:

the cool girl & the gamer boy, no idea by don toliver, just talk to her dude, victor from corpse bride, timothée chalamet, bilingual, hit different by sza ft. ty dolla $ign, my forever boy, good days by sza, skateboarding

pile 3 ⚓️ —

pile 333 💫 what's up!!! i channeled a song for y'all already, come over by aaliyah is coming in strongly. “i know you're asleep but you're on my mind and i'm wide awake and i wanna stop by.” ooo there’s a very sensual vibe between you and your crush, a lot of sexual attraction and tension i'm picking up. you two would make a great looking couple — a lot of people will be looking at you two when you're interacting with each other. it's like “can those two get a room already and just fuck” LMAOOO some will be hating but others will just be admiring like damn i wish i had that. i feel like your crush makes you act really shy lol you try to muster up the courage to look them in the eye and be bold but you fold every time lol i’m hearing them say “don’t be shy baby” 😩 your crush knows what they're doingggggg omg they just love to tease you. a couple that's coming to mind is joey and pacey from ‘dawson's creek’ you may not have paid them much mind initially but one day something clicked and you were like damn…i really like them. it might take a little minute for y'all to officially get together but once you two do…WHEW. i told y'all the sexual tension is through the roof — i’m hearing this is that 90’s r&b type of love. a lot of slow burn and building up to the real thing. they think so much about what it'll be like to finally be able to hold you, kiss you and treat you properly. you evoke a lot of inspiration, motivation and passion in them pile 3 <3

other channeled messages:

halfcrazy by musiq soulchild, take a picture it'll last longer, lavender haze by taylor swift, muse by partynexydoor, capricorn placements/capricorn venus, you're like my own personal brand of heroin - edward cullen (lol)

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #love pac #intuitive reading #pac reading #love reading #energy reading #tarot reading #tarot #tarot pac #pac tarot #p1utofairy

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distorted59 · 1 year

Note

First of all, I love your works soooo much! And I love you too

Please I really want Kirk Headcanons. He’s the love of my life! I want to cuddle him and also something smut things too

thank you lovely!! I'm sorry for taking so long, i hope you enjoy!! <3

He’s really shy!! When you first met him, he was very nervous. Blushing and stumbling over his words. (You thought it was absolutely adorable of course!!!) When he first shook your hand, he felt electricity running through his body. After a while he fell right into your trap, he was hooked. Begging for more every day.

He gets flustered a lot when he’s around you. He would mess up riffs during rehearsals or stumble over his words. One time he didn’t sleep very well, because he was overthinking all night. (May or may not have been horny all night) and he’d show up tired and sexually frustrated. You’d welcome him with open arms and took a nap together, when he woke up (hard) he got nervous. Your smell and arms around him drove him crazy. You noticed him stiffening once he woke up and quickly figured out what was happening. You’d start kissing his neck and rubbing him over his jeans. “Let me take care of you, baby.”

loves to eat pussy. Like he devours it. All of the boys would be into it but he’s addicted to it. Very good at it as well. He’d pull you to the edge of the bed so he could grind himself against the mattress while eating you out.

“Fuck, you taste so good, baby.” Kirk moans against your cunt. His hips are unrhythmic and desperately grinding against the bed.

you moan and tug on his hair, keeping him in place right between your thighs.

“Hmm!” you let out a squeal as he hits just the right spot. Kirk is humping against the bed like an animal.

“gonna make me cum just like this, honey, fuck!”

I feel like he gives the best hugs ever! Loves to cuddle and hold you close to him.

80s Kirk is such a cutie, I just wanna hold him and kiss all his worries away. like, he’s such a geek with all his comics and action figures. Imagine going with him when he wants to buy new toys.

“Oh my god, babe!” Kirk whisper-yells at you and holds up a new issue of ‘Monster Magazine’.

“Is that the new one, baby?” you smile at him, finding it overly adorable how excited he always gets.

"Yeah!" He looks at the back. “I’m gonna get this.”

He smiles excitedly at you and kisses your cheek. You giggle and blush a bit, not expecting the kiss.

“Can I read it after you’re done?”

“Of course, baby!” Kirk grabs your hand. “We’ll read it together!”

Talking ab horror…. he would be into monster roleplay…. HE WOULD DONT DENY IT. Like him dressing up as dracula and you are the girl who got lost….. like!!!????? and he finds you and traps you and bites you and fucks the absolute life out of you. Thank you for listening.

Also, the fact that in all those videos where he makes a joke and no one laughs??? c'mon now… baby is just trying to have some fun :(

his stutter is so cute!!! he still gets nervous sometimes and can’t look you in the eye or form a sentence. but you don’t mind. <3

I have been thinking about this a lot lately; giving Kirk head for the first time. him all whiny and excited, not knowing what to expect.

“I’ll be gentle, okay?” You look up at him through your lashes.

“Mhm.” He has his fingers over his mouth, unable to even speak. You stroke him lazily and smile at him. He throws his head back and lets out a huge moan when you lick the tip.

“Ooh~, baby!” He whines. “ngh.. fuck!” his chest moves up and down and he tries to hold your hair back for you.

you lick him from the base up and put him in your mouth. You’d think he’s seeing stars, cause he lets out the most heavenly moans you’ve ever heard.

“feels so good, baby~”

yes, just a silly little thought.

the older he gets the rougher he gets, i feel. I mean, the fame and money definitely upped his confidence. which isn’t a bad thing AT ALL.

One of my favorite eras of him is htsd, his hair is starting to gray a little bit, and his skin has that old deep tan. the mustache, the goatee. yes just yes.

I feel like he’s such a tease!!?? imagine going out for dinner with some friends, or the rest of the band. and he’s touching you all over.

“Does my baby wanna feel good?” he slides his hand over your thigh. He’s been touching your thighs an kissing your neck all fucking night.

“Kirk, please.” you whimper. “Not here, why here?”

“Why here?” he smirks against your neck and moves up to whisper in your ear. “Don’t pretend you’re not enjoying this as much as I do, princess.”

GIMME THAT I NEED IT NOW

He’s a really sweet boy, has a kind heart and actually looks too cute to be in a metal band. His voice is so sweet, his hands are very soft. (they become more and more calloused over the years). He would trace his fingers over your skin and whisper sweet things in your ears and place soft kisses on your neck.

ALSO Kirk with eyeliner!???? just imagine you making him feel so good after a show or sum and he starts crying in pleasure and it just drips down his face!!???? His face is messy and his eyes are red with tears as he craves more and more of you.

actually need that rn

and going to the beach with him!! maybe he'll teach you how to surf or just chill with you enjoying some drinks in the shade and going for a casual swim. <3

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marieracingteam · 4 months

Text

How Lance became Lancey – ls.18

stepdad!Lance Stroll | series

word count: 1305

summary: Lily’s first time at the paddock could be something challenging but, luckly for everyone, Lance had everything undercontroll. Will he win the race or will he win a tittle even more important than that?

Since Lance had asked Lily for permission to date her mother, the girl's life had changed a lot and not that much at the same time. The change had largely been for the better, except for the noise of the mixer early in the morning, which was usually offset by pancakes waiting for her when she woke up.

The biggest change, however, had been Lance's constant presence at her house. It wasn't that Lily was complaining, obviously she liked the Canadian and always having him near her, but it was a little confusing having him within reach for a few days and then going other days without seeing him.

Without meaning to, every time Lance left, Lily couldn't help but think about her father, whom she hadn't seen in months and about whom she didn't know anything most of the time.

The main problem was that, as happened when Lance left or when she saw her father on a rare afternoon, her life continued as if nothing had happened after that. She barely had any memories that it had even happened to hold onto. Or even a hope that it would happen again.

Her mom had explained to her that Lance was just travelling for work and she could see him every night through her mother's cell phone. But it wasn’t the same.

And Lance had quickly realized this when he saw how the girl behaved when he left and when he returned.

The couple had promised not to run for Lily's sake, but Lance lived for speed, so it was hard for him not to ask them to move in with him as soon as they started dating. However, now he didn't see a better option to make the girl see that he was always going to come back for her and her mother.

He had thought a lot about how to ask his girlfriend. He was aware of how crazy his life was, but they had both already seen traces of it and had not run away, so he thought he had nothing to fear.

He just needed one last test to show them it could work. And that test was going to be the Canadian Grand Prix. His home race.

His father had even helped him prepare everything for their visit. They had decorated a small part of his side of the garage and had brought different things to keep the girl entertained during the race.

Everything had to be perfect for his two girls.

His father had even had a small racing suit made especially for the girl. Green decorated with white flowers, obviously. And of course a matching hat for her mom.

And when the weekend started, half the garage was more worried and excited about Lily and her mother's first race than about the improvements they brought to the drivers' cars.

What Lance hadn't taken into account was that his weekend duties would keep him so busy that he wouldn't be able to spend all the time he wanted with them.

On Friday he had only been able to spend a little time with them before starting the weekend. He had only had time to give them a quick tour and put the little girl in his car –and take too many photos of her there with her little outfit.

“Lilybug!” Lawrence exclaimed as the girl jumped into his arms. “What's this I have heard about you becoming a driver? Do I have to sign you on my team?”

“I did! I got into Lance’s car! Right mommy?” said the girl bouncing in the man’s arms. “Want to draw with me, flower?” she asked once she calmed down.

“Sure! That's why I came to work today.”

At the end of Saturday, Lily was already exhausted from those days of action. So tired that she hadn't even realized how poorly Lance had classified on the qualy.

“It's okay, Lance. You'll bounce back tomorrow, I'm sure. You've had a very good weekend. Lily was delighted watching you run on the screens.” his girlfriend said as they headed to the driver's car.

Lily was asleep in his arms, her head on his shoulder leaving a small wet spot on his team shirt. His father had drained her while they waited for qualifying to start by playing outside, which Lance was very grateful for.

“I wanted this weekend to be perfect. I guess I forgot to plan that I would have to drive well” he confessed when he made sure little ears were not going to hear and be disappointed.

“Don't be so hard on yourself. We are so proud of you,” she whispered, giving him a quick kiss when they got to the car. “And you have nothing to worry about, this is being the best weekend, so close to our first getaway to the beach”.

“At least I haven't been attacked by any crabs here” Lance joked, causing his girlfriend to laugh as they buckled Lily into her seat.

“Don't claim victory, there is still tomorrow.”

And like every time she said something, his girlfriend was always right. After a difficult start, Lance had come back with precision, ready to show his audience today that they had not chosen wrong by choosing him.

And when Lance crossed the finish line in fifth position, climbing more than ten positions, it almost tasted like a podium.

Arriving at park fermé, Lance was welcomed by his girl, his dad and his little bug in his dad’s arms.

“You were sooo fast, Lance!” Lily said excited after shouting at him.

“Did you see, baby?” he asked grabbing her in his arms “I wanted to do it right for you and mom”.

“And flower” the girl reminded him pointing at his dad, whose suit was covered in white flowers stickers much like her little racing suit.

“Yeah, and flower too” Lance corrected himself. “But I wanted to do it super well so that mom and you would want to come with me more times”.

“Are you going to invite us more times?” Lily asked with hope filling her eyes.

“More than that. If you want and mom says yes, I would like to invite you all of the time. And when you can't come, I would like you to be waiting for me at home. In our house, wherever it may be” he finally ask.

Despite all the planning, Lance still wasn't sure how he was going to ask them to live together. He had doubts, but having Lily in his arms and his girlfriend hugging his side cleared them up.

And the smile of his girlfriend said it all “You want us to move together?”

“I want it all together, love”

With a laught, the woman looked at her daughter “What do you say, Lily? Will you want Lance living with us all the time”

"Will he always come back then?" she asked shyly. Suddenly all her energy was contained. She shrank into Lance's chest and avoided eye contact.

Lance's heart broke at her doubt and uncertainty about him, even if it wasn't really about him.

"I will always come back to you and mom, bug" Lance promised.

He wanted to tell her more, to tell her that he wasn't like her dad, to promise her that he would never leave like he did. But that wasn't the place and he knew actions spoke louder than words.

"I love you, Lancey" she murmured hugging his neck tightly.

“Lancey?” her mom asked surprised by the affectionate nickname.

“Yeah, my mommy and my Lancey” the girl explained, hugging her mom too from the arms of the driver, who only hugged them tighter while trying to stop the tears of happiness from falling from his eyes.

That sounded right, he thought. That sounded a lot like a family.

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #formula 1 #formula 1 fanfic #f1 angst #lance stroll fanfic #lance stroll fluff #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll angst #lance stroll #ls18 x reader #ls18

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absolutebl · 6 months

Text

This Week in BL - Japan is Winning on Kisses & Other Alternate Realities

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - It would be great if we got the alternative romance with dead Kram from Tai’s perspective (JBL style.) Still I like this show. It’s a little bit like I Feel You Linger in the Air only with a love triangle. And while I'm not a fan of triangles as a general rule, I don’t mind it here because the set up is clever. Wayu and ao are fun sides too. It sure is moving very quickly, which I like. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. But that’s normal for me with this kind of Thai drama.

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 4 of 8 - They are extremely sappy boyfriends. I love that mom has a secret gf. Could we please have more of them? The love triangle sides are ridiculous, but I do like that it’s all out in the open. I also like they are actually addressing the complicated parental dynamics of owning a sex club. Honestly, I think Khem should have to be a host too. Learn him the right way, girl!

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - It’s good, I like the fallout and them actually having to deal with crazy fans and past relationships. They’re so good at communicating it’s kind of a pleasure to watch them suffer through external pressures, because I have faith that they can make it through.

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 6 of 8 - They are such cute puppy dads and so clearly meant to be together, the fact that they aren’t is just frustrating. The fight thing was stupid. And not a whole lot happened... plus singing. I’m getting fatigued with this one.

1000 Years Old ep 7 of 12 - Did I miss something happening, or did nothing happen?

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 6 - It’s so boring, there’s so much guitar playing, and it got weirdly voyeuristic (in a very much not sexy way). I’m totally out. DNF

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) ep 3 of 6 - I can’t tell if this is trying to be a BL Romancing the Stone, or a BL Hangover, or both. The problem with situational comedy is it must be both situational and comedic, not just option one. The problem with calling something BL, is that it must be BL. This show got 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. DNF

Honestly, it's the HANDS with these two. They do beautiful beautiful things with their hands. If you're one of those hands-obsessed BLabies you should be watching LIBTSTA!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 6 of 11 - So the worst finally happened. The mountain of pain has fallen down upon us. And now, hopefully in the second half things get better for our boys. But what a rough ride. Normally, this is not my style of BL, but everyone is doing such a gorgeous job with it, I can’t fault it… except that it hurts. The red thread symbolism was elegantly done. I’d like to hope we get a reunion in the next one, but knowing this style of series they’re gonna draw it out. There's gonna be a more pain first.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Those fuck me puppy dog eyes were perfectly executed. I would not have been able to resist either. Gosh they are so damn cute. This is a great show.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 1-2 of 8 - This comes from the Shoulder to Cry On team so I'm scared, but this one is all actors* not idols so maybe they'll be braver. Boy howdy does it have a fantastic opening sequence. Also the lead is fucking adorable. Mr Broody McBroodypants is cute too. Korea sure loves “pretty but broken.” On the JBL end of the spectrum, is everyone in love with their siblings? That’s weird. The dining room scene was painful. All in all, it's good, I'm intrigued. Let's see how you go little show.

I stand absolutely corrected the lead is a member of NEWKIDD (in my defense I'd never heard of them until Build Up last month). I did recognize him from To My Star because at the time I thought he was too pretty to be only a side character.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 10 fin - Again there was overuse of previous footage and maudlin navel-gazing grief over something we knew was going to happen. So I didn’t really feel much emotional connection to the drama. 7 year time gap.? t was a cute reunion but the moral quandary never really got resolved. I don’t know how to rate this, I’m not sure I will ever watch it again, so that is a big mark against it.

There’s nothing objectively wrong with this BL except how upsetting it is because of the foundational pygmalion story - grown man falls in love with an android who is basically both his slave and, by maturity level, a child. Yet that premise is crystal clear from the get go, so we watch it eyes open. The actors are cute, the romance sweet, the physical chemistry on point (of course, it’s Taiwan) and yet I was left ultimately unsettled by the concept, content, and plot. 7/10

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I'm so ready for this to be over, and for Gaga to have something good on. Soon please?

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training. Waiting to binge.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Tangential to the genre

There has been the occasional discussion on this topic here in this little corner of tumblr so I thought there might be a few intersted in this podcast: AmericanThaiGuy Ron Weaver on the Complicated Issue of Racism in Thailand (The Bangkok Podcast)

Thailand passed its Marriage Equality bill through the lower house. It's expected to pass the high house and get signed by the King, but that hasn't quite happened yet.

And MaxTul dropped a photo shoot.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

3/31 The Next Prince (Thai ????) 12 eps - trailer. ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE. (Apparently this is just the pilot, not the start of the actual show, see comments.)

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast. Dual languages.

Hum, trash-watch-a-licious?

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube iQIYI) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

4/11 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan ????) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga - may not be global) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn.

Seriously? You're killing me with these titles, boys.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Just these two, in my head, rent free. Thanks Japan!

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy. (With so many tags when does a weekly tumblr post become a newsletter? That is this week's philosophical question...)

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07-bilin · 1 year

Text

but i'm not her

₊˚ପ⊹ summary: reader is part of spider society and in this multiverse you have soulmates, miguel is your soulmate but you aren’t his

₊˚ପ⊹ warnings: angst, lots of angst, death, betrayal, plot twist!!

₊˚ପ⊹ relationship: miguel x fem!spider-reader

₊˚ପ⊹ wc: 1.5k

you were invited to the spider society when an anomaly entered your world and after wrapping up the fight you were greeted by the leader of the spider-society who had offered you a spot on the team which you had happily obliged to.

at first, it took some time to get used to all the different spider-people who were just like you, there were all sorts of variants, animals, peni’s, gwen’s, miles, and a ton of peter parker’s.

but the one that stood out to you the most was spider-man 2099, miguel o’hara.

sure he was a cold fella when you first met him but he had to have another side to him right?

over the next year or so you started to crack miguel’s shield until you two began to lean on each other for support.

one night that stood out very clearly in your memory between the two of you was a night when you had almost lost your life during a fight.

“y/n, are you crazy?? if i had been one second too late you would have fallen to your death, do you realize how serious this is?”

you stared at miguel in a daze as you had felt your life flash before your eyes. your webs had jammed and you were falling from a building 50ft in the air and all that raced through your mind was that you were gonna die.

fortunately for you, miguel had caught you in a blink of an eye and was now scolding you for what had just occurred.

“okay okay i get it, it’s my fault and i’m sorry i scared you like that..”

miguel let out a loud groan before pulling you into a hug and whispering something only the two of you could hear.

“don’t ever do that again, it scared me, i care about you.”

you let out a small chuckle as you relaxed into his embrace and as you stroked his back you realized you had fallen for the stone-cold man

over the next course of the weeks, you two had practically been inseparable other than the time he spent in his universe you two were stuck like peas.

the two of you hung out so much to the point you felt like he also had feelings for you.

but you were proven wrong when she stepped into the image.

she was a girl who miguel had met in his world, she was funny, smart, and could cook! but most of all, she was another variant of you.

eventually, miguel drifted away from you and started to cozy up on the other you which left a void for you to fill with absolutely nothing.

it was heartbreaking to know that miguel loved you, just, it wasn’t you. but i mean, shocker right? the man who absolutely loves keeping the canon intact and risking it all for some relationship that could cause an anomaly? no way that was happening on his watch!

you watched in sadness as you saw the two of them getting along so happily, laughing and cracking jokes— just like how you and miguel used to.

“miguel, if you ever need someone to lean on, you know i’ve always got your back!”

miguel’s breath hitched a little at her words, it gave him a sense of deja vu, almost like he had heard it somewhere before.

before he could put a finger on the familiar sensation, he had a sense that someone was watching him and as he scanned his office as he caught sight of a spider lurking.

“mi alma, wait here for a second while i go and take care of some business okay?”

he gave his variant of you a quick kiss on the head before he swang off to go find the individual who had been spying on the couple.

"y/n, what are you doing?"

you flinched as you heard his low voice behind you and muttered a small lie.

"was just going to report a mission, usual business, sorry for interrupting."

"if there's nothing left, have to go back to my universe, kinda got something big going on!"

miguel watched as you disappeared into the orange vortex and even after several minutes you had been gone he stood in the same place waiting for you to just pop out but you never did.

"Si tan solo supieran por qué lo hice, creo que entenderían."

"the anomaly is in sight, be prepared y/n"

"alrighty, here we go lyla!!"

the anomaly was a variant of your doc ock except this one was extremely more futuristic than yours.

swinging from side to side, you manage to dodge the incoming attacks and land a few hits here and there eventually being able to slow her down.

"is that all you've got?" you yell as you disable her tentacle attachments.

unfortunately for you, that seemed to have fueled the anomaly's anger causing her to bring out some sort of technology that you've never seen before.

dodging the incoming attacks became harder and harder as fatigue started to dwell in your muscles, after a period of time, she manages to catch you off guard which resulted in you slamming straight into a building.

"holy shit, now that one sure did hurt.." you groan out in pain as you clutch your abdomen.

you pick yourself up and quickly call into your watch to call for backup as you swing yourself onto a higher building to get a good angle.

what you didn't expect for who to come was miguel, it had been quite some time since the two of you had even talked ever since that small little conversation.

it seemed he hadn't expected you to be there either as he flashed you a sort of look you couldn't quite put a finger on to what he was thinking.

"well, a little help here?" you mutter as you feel the adrenaline in your body wearing off.

before you could hear a reply he swung into action to clean up the mess you couldn't have finished which left you to catch your breath for a few seconds.

following the brief moment of rest, your watch started to chime indicating something big was happening.

"canon event happening.." you whispered as you stared at the hologram.

who's canon event? there couldn't possibly be another spider here other than you and miguel, but maybe there was, whatever it was you swung yourself back into action hoping to find miguel to explain what needed to happen in order for the canon to occur.

you saw his figure clearly 7ft away and called for him.

"MIGUEL! CANON EVENT, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"

hearing your voice he gazes over at you and his mask depicts one of surprise like he hadn't seen it coming either which was odd. he manages to snap out of it and yell back at you.

"STAY OUT OF THIS Y/N, GO BACK TO HEADQUARTERS OR SOMETHING!"

your face contorts at the sudden command, rather than obliging you swing yourself into combat once more syncing with the man beside you.

it had been going oh so well, but you should have known that it was too good to be true.

just as the two of you held the villain down with your webs, some sort of green fog pursed out of its tentacles enveloping the area you and miguel had been in.

you coughed as the weird fog made you feel weak, faltering you felt yourself drifting in and out of consciousness, miguel sensed this and dropped the villain quickly into prison before rushing to your side just as your grasp loosened on your webs.

as the two of you dropped onto a ledge, miguel pulled your mask off revealing a horrifying sight. your body was bruised and battered up, the haze you consumed not making it any better.

"Joder, esto no se suponía que sucediera."

your breathing was irregular as you stared at the man whom you've loved oh so much in the past time you've been a part of the society.

"miguel, i think it's time, i just want to tell you one thing," you choke out as the oxygen flowing into you made it even harder to continue your words.

"please don't die, it wasn't supposed to be you, i thought i fixed it, i thought i changed it." he rambled as tears threaten to spill from his eyes.

you smiled softly as you understood what he meant, he wasn't trying to replace you, he was trying to save you.

"thank you for everything, thank you for inviting me to your society, i've learned many things over the years, and most of all, thank you for letting me love you."

the tears gushed out as he heard your last words, the water prickling her face, with all her remaining strength, she cupped his face and caressed it softly until her body falls limp leaving the leader of the spider society to mourn as he clenches her battered body close to his own.

"canon event completed."

₊˚ପ⊹ translations:

Si tan solo supieran por qué lo hice, creo que entenderían. - if only you knew why I did it, I think you'd understand.

Joder, esto no se suponía que sucediera - fuck, this wasn't supposed to happen

Mi alma - my soul

₊˚ପ⊹ a/n: felt like writing this after i saw a prompt like this on tiktok but added a little twist of my own it, hope you enjoyed >D<

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deesseshesca · 1 month

Text

PAC 18+: How can you spice up your sex life with your s/o?

Now let's bring it up a notch...

Good evening, pretty souls, today I'm diving under the cover of y'all relationship to keep up with your panties/boxer.

FLASH SALE

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only

Rules and Disclaimer

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else.

MINOR DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST

MINOR DON’T READ THIS POST

TW: Sexual abuse, DV

Basing myself on the legal age in my country which is 18

PILE 1

4 wands, 5 swords, 3 swords, 9 swords, ‘’I’m going through a lot right now, I need some space & time to gather my thoughts !’’

Mutual masturbation

Edging

Overstimulation

💌 Your partner don't feel appreciated enough in the bedroom. They feel like u are comparing them to your past lovers. If not, they feel like they don't compare. On your side you are tired of their toxic behavior. They are not toxic is just that they are stuck in bad habits. Which is stopping y'all from evolving as a couple. You are not satisfy emotionally, they are not satisfy physically. Anyway Pile 1, if you need any advice on how to deal with situation, you can always book a reading on my Ko-fi, link down below. Especially now that they are on sales for only 20$. (Link at the end of the post)

Much love, Shesca

PILE 2

2 pentacles, 2 swords, 4 wands, 5 wands, ‘’I look at my phone everyday hoping I would see a message from you’’

Cuddlefuck

No foreplay

Voyeurism

Femdom

💌I think your partner is usually the one in control. Y'all usually have some hardcore sex or even BDSM. There's a clear difference between a sub and dom energy down to even the look. One of y'all is real petite. You are probably part of the itty bitty community or you dick may be on the smaller side. Y'all are very delicate and graceful being. While he is all tall and buff or she is very curvy and way taller than u. If you initiate with a bratty attitude instead of being your docile self, is going to fire up the spark between y'all. Are y'all going camping trip or on a trip abroad with friend ? You should run your hand up and down his dick while y'all look at a movie in the living room, if they are a women, maybe play with their tits. Or when y'all back in the tent, you should initiate something knowing damm well is hella risky. It's going to excited them and finally give them a reason to do all the punishments they dream to apply on u. Since u been a good girl/boy (is not me...is them ), they only fantasy is about punishing you. Anyway if you guys need any advice how to make it happen, you can always book a reading on my Ko-fi, especially now that's only 20$ (Link at the end of the post)

Much love, Shesca

PILE 3

Judgment, 5 swords, Page wands, 8 cups

Check in : Babes, I'm sorry for the fuck up things you been through. You guys have a lot of sexual trauma. You spend your whole in poverty until you made the decision to become an escort or stripper. Which only added to the trauma. Some of y'all been in abusive relationship or all you life you felt like the only way someone will stay with you would be for sex. So you felt obligated to give some. But now you are in healthy relationship. The life you have now is a complete 360 of your past. Stay at home wife in the sunburn, spending most of your weekend supporting your kids hobbies. Nobody would even the guess how hard it was for you to get this peaceful life.

Dirty talk

Nudist Event

Power play

💌 Now girl/boy... what's going ? Why are only serving same old missionary with the men/women you love. I can feel how deeply you love them. So you are completely comfortable around them. Yet no split on dick or feasting on the clit. No crazy lingerie. No lap dancing. No nothing. I don't know much about life but I think when u are married you can defiantly match the freak. Talk nasty to him/her, giving him/her a VIP experience and they will go crazy. Send them nasty pic, girl/boy you have all the power to spice things up. Anyway Pile 3, if you need help on tapping back into your sexual self in more healthy manner, you can always book a reading on my Ko-fi for only 20$.(Link at the end of the post)

Much love, Shesca.

7 wands, Page cups, 9 wands, 7 cups,’’Karmic partner interference’’, ‘’I’m ready to come clean ! I can’t lose you again !’’

Food

Jealousy/possessiveness

Communication

💌 You are married to someone you don't know anymore. If you know One tree hill (the best TV show in the word), y'all make me think of Quinn and her relationship with her ex-husband David. They were a time, the person on your side was loving and emotionally available. Now he is crazy about profit and barely spend time in the same room as you. Than there's him/her. They know they can treat u better than your husband/wife and is pissing them off the way things are . They dream of licking wiped cream of your nipple, ever since they saw in that sundress at the pool party or when you do your daily run with no shirt on. Anyways Pile 4, I know you are going to figure it all out but if you want insight from your spiritual team regarding this whole mess, you always book a ready on my Ko-fi. Especially now, they are only 20$. (Link at the end of the post)

Much love, Shesca.

#love tarot reading #tarot reading #tarot #pac reading #pac tazercraft #pick a card #pick a picture #psychic #18+ tarot #relationship tarot #tarot cards #tarot spread #tarotcommunity

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unforth · 8 months

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We are one Iowa caucus into the absolute shitshow that is going to be the US 2024 elections, and I'm already sick of seeing takes downplaying the risk that Trump and his fascist followers represent.

Look. Around 1900, my mother's grandparents immigrated to the Lower East Side of New York City. They brought with them children born in Europe (Poland? Ukraine? which country they were in depends on what year we're talking about) - we're not 100% sure they were THEIR children, even, but there were three, and they were young, and they came. But my great-grandparents had siblings, parents, cousins, uncles, aunts, huge families. And while my understanding is that an attempt was made to convince those folks to move to the US, none of them ultimately opted to.

They all kept in touch as they were able, exchanging letters and pictures, but through World War 1, through the 20s, through the Great Depression, through the worsening situation in Europe in the 1930s, my entire extended family who chose not to immigrate...continued to stay.

I think we all know how this story ends.

I have an entire family photo album of people whose names I will never know, because after every single one of them died in the Holocaust, my great-grandparents and grandparents couldn't bear to even label them. And they were PEOPLE, poor, vibrant, eager to maintain connections with their loved ones abroad. One was a Klezmer musician, and we have photos of him with all the different instruments he played. They're so real on the page, and they all ended in ashes.

And you know how that started? Fascism started with every inch allowed, with every well-intentioned moderate who tried to maintain a middle position even as the whole ground shifted right beneath their feet and even "middle" became extreme, every "no that change isn't coming fast enough, I want instant full improvement NOW" liberal who felt that doing nothing was better than accepting a slower improvement in the (truly awful!) post-World War 1 living situation in Germany.

Most of the members of my extended family also downplayed the risks. They never imagined that the worst could happen to them. They never fathomed how bad things could become.

And now I have their example always before me to know and to scream:

I KNOW HOW BAD THINGS CAN BECOME. I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY THEN.

I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN TO MY FAMILY NOW.

People look at me like I'm crazy when I say I've got our passports ready (and have had since before the 2020 election).

Look. I don't know what will happen if Trump is elected, but there's a very real possibility he will, and he's been extremely clear about saying what he'll do. He did a lot of the things he said he'd do last time. I expect he'll continue to do the things he says he'll do. And the things he say he'll do will lead to the deaths of more people than we can imagine - in the US, in Palestine, throughout the world.

Don't tell me there's a middle ground here. Don't tell me I'm over-reacting. Don't tell me the worst won't happen. Don't tell me the risk is mild. Don't tell me we're safe.

We. Are. Not. Safe.

The lives of dozens, hundreds, of members of family were lost in the 1940s amid the horrifying statistic "6,000,000 dead Jews."

I will not let my life (as a Jew), my wife's life (as a disabled woman), my son's life (as a biracial boy), my daughter's life (as a biracial trans girl), be part of the statistics that come from our a second Trump presidency.

If you won't vote like YOUR life depends on it, vote like someone ELSE'S life depends on it, because IT DOES.

And if you can't even do that much, at least shut the fuck up and stop spreading your poison around. You're wrong. The danger is real. Downplaying it now won't make your conscience feel any clearer when it actually happens, and comforting everyone else downplaying it will just make you that much more complicit.

#unforth rambles #politics #us politics #genocide #genocide tw #i don't know how to tag this #i wish the album was here instead of at my mom's #i want every one of you who think this doesn't matter #to stare at the smiling faces of my long-dead relatives #and see these people who were shot and stabbed and burned and raped and destroyed #who died in rebellion or despair in hopelessness or desperation #no matter how much or how little they fought #they're all ashes now and nothing will bring them back #i have no family in europe #not a single person survived #i won't let my family be the ones who stay too long because we don't take it seriously #and neither should you

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wackyharpy · 9 months

Text

Solicitude

Eric (Divergent) x Fem! Reader

Summary: Eric takes care of his girlfriend after the hard day.

To find more stories — masterlist

A/N: English isn't my native language. I'm obsessed with this man, oh gods! Needed to write something like this. I'd be very happy for your comments and reblogs. Enjoy :)

Warnings ⚠️

NSFW 18+, fingering, p in v sex, she/her pronouns.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

She enters their shared apartment late in the evening locking the door. Muscles all over the body ache after hard trainings with the squad she's part of. Their commander always keeps them fit.

She finished her initiation taking the third place on the rankings board. Such success for a girl, who was one of the two among other male initiates, ended up with her becoming a part of the squad of the special purpose for secret missions.

Since the day their commander chose her, he has never regretted. It was a right decision. She is smart and witty — former Erudite — calm and placid — a perfect person not to blab plans and inside scoop.

Additionally, she's the youngest leader's girlfriend.

To start relationships with Eric wasn't an easy decision, but two years have already passed and they're still together. Unexpectedly, Eric has turned out to be a simple person to live with. Yes, the character he has, sometimes drives her crazy, although it's not the problem that can't be solved. He's dominant, intimidating and frightening, as he was the first time she met him during the initiation.

Nevertheless, she's discovered much more other facets of his personality. He's not just that cruel leader everybody is used to seeing him. Eric can cook — the first thing that surprised her a lot. He's a good listener and adviser. He motivates her to work and to become a better version of herself — she appreciates time they spend together in the gym where he shares his knowledge of how to obtain skillfulness in fighting, shooting, plotting plans and strategies.

They've learned how to be a leader and a subordinate, a mentor and a student outside the walls of their apartment. But here, they're only Eric and her. Just a boyfriend and his girlfriend.

She walks deeper in the room greeting Eric who is finishing dinner in the kitchen area. Dim lights of lanterns illuminate the space along with the moon whose rays permeate into through the panoramic windows — their apartment is situated on the upper floors of Dauntless compartment.

She rubs red weary eyes with her calloused palms, and sits at the table in the dining area. Exhales heavily. Eric places a plate with baked salmon and veggies in front of her. He constantly pays attention to her diet for her to have energy and be healthy.

"Thanks," she smiles warmly.

Being a leader, he's never provided her with advantages that may assist her easily gain a position in Dauntless. Some people may consider, she got her place in the squad because of Eric, though that's not true. Her efforts are the reason she's there. The only benefits she has is access to products of high-quality, good clothes, domicile and protection.

She eats every now and then looking at sharp features of Eric's face, at his perfect nose and slightly plump lips, at his cheekbones which she adores to contour with the finger. Her eyes go down viewing vividly black tattoos on the neck. She feels how something is tugging in the lower abdomen.

"Eat your meal. Stop gazing at me," she hears his voice's deep timbre. Abruptly, her cheeks turn pink and she chuckles. She sees how a perfect line of Eric's lips twitches in a smirk.

"Salmon is really good," she praises dinner.

"Mhm... received two fresh fish this morning."

***

They finish dinner and clean the table, then do the washing-up together. Eric hides two plates in the shelf above the faucet and turns to her immediately embracing her little petite figure with his strong arms.

"Tired?" The serene tone of his voice soothes her.

She cuddles closer to his chest smelling a pleasant male scent, and just nods. She feels a soft kiss on her forehead, and then Eric rises her from the ground taking to the bathroom.

After brushing their teeth — they've got used to do all this plain routine together, the couple gets ready to take the shower. Eric turns on water and begins to undress her. She yawns finally feeling how much her muscles are strained, in need of rest. Hooded eyes watch how Eric attentively takes off all of her clothes, then undresses himself.

He's not a type of guy to say "love you" and other sweet nothings about his feelings, but she doesn't need that. She's got used to his own tongue of showing love and affection.

Before stepping into the shower cabin, Eric checks the temperature of water, only then leads her inside along with him. She closes her eyes relaxing under warm streams realizing how much her body's got exhausted. Eric massages her shoulders gently once in a while placing kisses on them, her neck, or back. He helps to soothe knots in her strained muscles. She sighs contendetly leaning back on his powerful chest. She feels that Eric is smiling, feels his tender touching on her hips and stomach. She enjoys such moments when he takes a lead, dominates but gently, and looks after her. At times like this, she feels safe and peaceful.

After the shower, he dries her wrapping in the soft towel. Eric takes her face and kisses her affectionately and possessively.

"Fancy sex?" His look is demanding and piercing.

She bites her lower lip that doesn't escape Eric's attention.

She nods, also adding:

"But I'm too tired to be active in bed."

He is silent for several seconds, just rubs her cheeks with the thumbs. Then responds:

"I'll take care of you."

With these words, he leads her to their bed that stands opposite the floor-to-ceiling windows. She sinks in the black linen that smells of them. After coming into contact with the duvet, her head and eyelids suddenly feel heavy. Drowsiness washes over her, foggy curtain falls onto her eyes.

Eric lies beside her and she immediately snuggles her nose into his bicep closing her eyes, giving her whole body to him. He unwraps the towel revealing her steamed, after the shower, body.

His calloused hand creases her breasts, plays with her already hard nipples and then goes down reaching her labia. Eric rubs them leisurely watching her reactions. She's a bit sleepy, though still reacts to his movements gasping quietly. He finds her pulsating clit giving it proper attention until her pussy is wet enough to insert two fingers inside. Her moist insides welcome them and he starts gentle but steady movements back and forth. She breathes out, moans a little, and Eric looms his head over brushing his lips against hers.

"Like it?"

"Mhm," she cuddles closer, still keeping her eyes closed.

"Open your legs wider," he commands whispering.

She obediently does as he orders. His thrusts become faster. She feels hotness rushing to her core, something tugs, then her walls clench, and she releases sticky juices orgasming. She exhales heavily feeling pleasant relief.

Eric takes out his fingers spreading clammy liquid of her pussy all over her entrance and inner labia. He pumps his already hard dick for some time and settles himself comfortably between her lean legs. He rubs pinkish head of the cock against her drenched folds, then starts intruding with his member inside.

Eric bites his lower lip feeling how her enjoyable tightness wraps his member. They both gasp. He looms over her hiding her safely from the world conquering all her senses with only his presence.

"Eric..." sweet moan of hers.

His thrusts are slow and gentle — he's not planning to make rough sex tonight. He wants her to enjoy herself, relax, and ultimately sleep peacefully.

#eric coulter #eric divergent #eric x reader #divergent movie #divergent fanfiction #divergent fandom #divergent #jai courtney #jai courtney fanfiction #jai courtney imagines

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13as07 · 6 months

Text

Weekend #1

(Neji Hyuga & Shikamaru Nara)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to BM (?). Sorry, I couldn't find the original source but I really liked it so meh]

Requested by: xxziggy

Word Count: 3,462

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

First half is a lot a bit smut so be warned; not a full smut cause I wasn't feelin it for whatever reason

Love triangle (obvs)

Fingering (female receiving)

Blindfold

Temperature Play (Lighter/Ice Cubs)

Hickey

Getting called "pet"

Not me accidentally making this a nature (growing up with Shika) vs nurture (Neji taking care of you) situation

———————————————————————

"This is such a drag," Shikamaru says as soon as I open my front door.

"If you don't want to help me pick out a swimsuit, I'm sure Ino will," I grumble, leaving the door open as I walk away.

"You always say that she 'likes anything you try on' and that 'Ino is no help' so, no. This is less of a drag than listening to you bitch for the whole weekend," he grumbles back, closing the front door before trailing after me.

Shikamaru and I are friends... a little more than friends. Fuck buddies, we're fuck buddies. We hook up from time to time but that's what friends are for, right? Hookups and opinions. And late-night snack runs.

"I think you should just stick to the yellow one you wore on last year's weekend trip."

"And I think you're stupid. I can't wear the same one I wore last year."

"Why not? I've worn the same swim trucks for the past three years," Shika groans, feet dragging as he follows me into my room, closing my door behind himself.

"Because I wore it last year! All the other girls are going to have new ones so I need a new one. I can't be the only one without a new swimsuit," I tell him, ushering him toward the bed.

"You girls have the weirdest rules about clothes," he grumbles, flopping on his back with his feet rested on the floor, and knees bent at the edge of the mattress. "Just wear the yellow one. Your titties look good in it."

"Thanks, Shik. That's what every girl wants to hear," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes as I dig through my closet for the four or five suits I bought. He throws up a thumbs up, the promise of his eyes being closed and him being half asleep paired with it. What a lazy sass of a friend I have.

"Okay, there's four of them."

"Great," he mumbles, drawing out the word.

I ignore his sarcasm, stripping my clothes off as I decide which one to try on first. "Alright, this one is a black one-piece," I narrate, wiggling myself into the material.

"Hey, here's some crazy shit," Shika says, sitting up right now. "When I look at you, I'll be able to see the style and color of it."

"Hey Shik?" He lets out a hum, the feeling of his eyes coating my back as I check myself out in the mirror. "Stop being a douche."

He rolls my eyes at me, resting his arm on his knee, and his head on his hand. "Do a little spin," he grumbles, a finger on his free hand making a circle in the air. I do as I'm told, slowly spilling so Shikamaru can check the swimsuit out. "One-pieces are for grandmas and women without body confidence. No."

"That's a little harsh."

"Do you want me to sugarcoat it like Ino?"

I grumble out a no, tugging the suit off myself. Shika's eyes stay locked on my nudity, sights ping-ponging alongside my movements until I turn back around. "The next one is also a one-piece - "

"No."

"Shik - "

"I already told you no. You are a hot chick with a hot body. Show it off or else my weekend will be a waste."

"No, it won't be a waste. You can googly eye Ino or Tenten or Hinata or Sakura," I point out, flipping between which of the remaining two to try on next.

"Ino would pretty much be incest, Tenten scares me, Sakura has too much attitude, and Hinata doesn't have enough attitude," he explains, rolling his eyes at me again. I swear, one of these days I'm going to poke his eyes out.

"Alright, the third is a string bikini, it's powder blue and I think it makes my ass look good," I ramble, tying the strings the best I can alone. "What do you think?" I ask, doing another slow turn.

"No," he pushes out, shifting his position as he adjusts his pants. "You look..."

"Hot?"

"Easy."

"Easy?!" I yelp, crossing my arms across my chest as I glare at Shikamaru. "I'm not easy!"

"I didn't say you were! I just said that... you look easy," he mumbles the last three words, eyes locked on my chest as he adjusts himself again. "Are you easy?"

"No! What the hell, Shik?"

"You should be... easy. Like... right now. For me."

"I asked you over to pick a swimsuit, not for a fuck," I grumble, slowly walking towards him. "This isn't picking a swimsuit," I continue, using my knee to push his open before sliding between his legs.

"The... the fourth one," he mumbles, fingers curling around the thin material, sliding back and forth as his eyes drink me up.

"You haven't even seen it yet," I complain, crossing my arms over my chest again, trying to hold onto my anger that's being drained by arousal. "How do you know it'll look good?"

"You look good in everything. You look better in nothing, though," Shika tells me, eyes still jumping around as he tugs the flimsy material to the side, leaving me exposed for him to enjoy. "Though, you also look really good in this swimsuit."

"Then I'll wear this one."

"No!" He races out, eyes snapping up to my face, his face scrunched up. "I mean... no, you still look easy."

"Do I look easy or is someone getting a little jealous?" I tease, cupping his chin and forcing him to shake his head yes. "Aw, is Shika worried he's going to lose the 'fuck' benefit of being m buddy?"

"I'm not that shallow," he mumbles, rolling his eyes at me again. "We're friends cause I like being friends. Not because you let me hit it on occasion."

"Then I'm going to wear the swimsuit."

"Pack the goddamn swimsuit and I'll set it on fire."

"Set it on fire and I'll go skinny dipping all weekend."

"Or," he starts, a single finger slowly cruising through my folds, landing on my clit to rub light circles into it. "I can make you cum and in turn, you wear the fourth swimsuit."

"Ya alright," I give in, decking down to press a kiss against his lips. Shika's finger pushes into me, lightly curling against my walls as our lips dance against each other. "I have a question." He hums in acknowledgment, sliding kisses up and down my stomach as he curls another finger in me. "Did you only agree to my fashion show so we could fuck?"

"Oh, ya. I'm not going to get any this weekend so might as well empty out now so I have a little more control while you girls walk around half naked," he admits, a third finger added before he starts thrusting them in and out of me. Shikamaru's tongue slides out, slowly trailing from the string of my bottoms and stopping at the connection string of my top. "Take your top off."

"Demanding, aren't we?" I mock, tugging on the skippy strings and letting the material tumble to the floor. "You're such a tit guy."

"I'm an ass guy too," he says, squeezing my butt with his free hand before it jumps up to my breast. He toys with my nipple, rolling it between his fingers as his mouth sucks on the other one. After some time he switches his places, eyes flicker up for a moment. "You take forever," he groans, pulling his touches away from me.

"My bad, two-pump-chump," I grumble, a yelp spilling from me when Shikamaru grabs me. His arms wrap around my legs, tugging me onto the bed. "Shika!" I giggle, back landing against my mattress as he settles between my knees.

"Yes, Pet?" He murmurs, tongue sliding across my inner thigh. I toy with his hair, rubbing my nails gently across his skull, pulling a soft whimper from him. "I hate how well you know me," he groans, undoing the strings of my bikini bottoms, and dropping them on the top left on the floor.

"No, you don't," I tease, dropping my hands down to his shirt, and tugging him up my body before I start pulling it up. Once he's free from his shirt, his necklace hangs between us, dangling in my face. God I swear, I don't know what it is but it's so hot.

"You're not paying attention to me. What a drag, you're not even into it."

"I am," I hum, lifting my hand, and using a finger to toy with our clan pendent. "I'm just getting a little bored with our routine."

"The fuck am I supposed to do with that?" He grumbles, shifting his weight back and forth between the hands pressed next to my head.

"I don't know, you're the genus here, not me."

Shikamaru lets out a long, deep sigh of annoyance, his eyes falling into their 'I look pissed but I'm thinking' look. His brows are pressed together, eyes set forward and slit. "Are your parents home?"

"No."

Silence falls between us again, Shika's eyebrows shifting as the gears in his head turn. "If I blindfold you are you going to lose your shit?"

"We're known as the Shadow Clan. I think I'll be okay with a little bit of darkness."

With that, Shika climbs off of me, his focus shifting through my dresser drawers. He stays silent when he finds my Shinobi band, carefully tying it around my eyes before whispering in my ear. "I'll be right back. Just chill."

I do as I'm told, relaxing in bed as I wait for him to return. It doesn't take long for his aura to fill my room again, my curiosity sparked by what he'll do. "What do you have planned, Mr Genus?"

"If I told you," he starts, the feeling of his breath sliding over my pussy startling me a bit. "It would ruin the plan, Miss I'm Getting Bored." My thighs are gripped, being tugged further apart. "Make sure you tell me if you're not good."

"I know, Shik."

"Just making sure," he mutters, brushing kisses against my thighs again. As the kisses roll around my skin, I'm slowly lulled, the gentleness of Shikamaru threatening to put me to sleep.

The sound of a click fills my senses with the feeling of heat licking at my thighs. "What the fuck, Shikamaru!" I yelp shoving his hand away.

"Is that a 'surprised' fuck or a 'I don't like that' fuck?" His voice is followed by soft clinking. The sound is followed by something chilled pressed to the spot previously accompanied by some kind of flame.

"Surprised fuck," I murmur, shivers running up my spine as the chilliness melts, dripping down my skin. It's an ice cube, isn't it? And the click and flame combo was Shika's lighter. What a smart but bored man.

"Mmm, good," he mutters, dropping the ice cub, making them clink against each other again. His tongue slides across my leg, lapping up the water left behind. "Is this exciting enough, Miss Bored?"

"Yes, Sir."

He hums again, climbing up my body. "Alright, you needy girl. I'm going to rest in you until you're worked up enough cause you're too much work."

"Lair, you just want to feel me pulse around you," I tease, my hands crawling down his body. Shikamaru has stripped since I've been blinded, sparking my excitement even more.

His necklace taps against my skin as he moves, the feeling of his lips mapping out his slow climb. "So what if I do? We're doing this because - "

"Hey, Sweetie? Are you home?" My mother's voice rings out, pulling a disappointed sigh from the both of us.

"You need to move out," he grumbles, tugging the headband off my eyes as he crawls off of me. "For now," he starts, mouth clinging to my throat, sucking on my skin as hard as he can. "We're going to greet your mom, excuse ourselves for lunch, and then we're going to continue our new game at my place," he finishes before sucking on the same spot, promising to leave a dark bruise on my neck.

"Shik," I whine, knotting my hands around his ponytail before I try to pull his lips off me. "You're going to leave a bruise."

"Ya, that's the point," he grumbles, his tone not matching the smile being pressed against my skin.

"So much for not being jealous," I tease, managing to pull Shikamaru off me, a loud pop following the loss of his suction.

———————————

"Nara-Chan!" Neji calls, waving at me as his squad and him walk towards our squad. "You look... good," he mutters, eyes jumping over me before he gives me a closed-eyed smile, a soft pink dusting his cheeks.

It's an open secret among our generation that Neji has started forming a bit of a crush on me. With the aftermath of the war, neither one of us has had the time to move the relationship past playful flirting. Though, hopefully, after this weekend that won't be the case anymore. The soft rumor of Neji asking me out filtering around helping that.

Every year, the twelve of us have taken a weekend away from the village to go do something other than work. It usually ends up being all of us camping near a river or lake and just spending the weekend relaxing. We're doing that again this year, hence picking out a swimsuit yesterday with Shika.

"Hey, Nej," I greet, returning his wave as he settles in front of me. "Are you excited for the trip?" He hums a yes, eyes not-so-secretly climbing my form again. His eyebrows scrunch when he gets further up my body, making me a bit concerned. Is there food or something on my shirt?

"Hello," Shikamaru's voice rings out as my eyes jump down, checking for a stain or leftover crumbs from the chips Choji and I shared. "What's up, Neji?" He asks, stopping next to me as he greets our friend. Shika's hand jumps up, tapping against my neck before his focus shifts back to the pleasantries Neji and him are sharing.

My eyes flutter towards a smug Shik, cockiness waving off of him. Why the hell was Neji looking at me so weird? Why did Shikamaru tap my neck?... oh.

Heat blooms across my face as I remember the dark hickey present on my neck. The very dark and very big bruise Shikamaru left behind yesterday.

"Anyway," Neji says, tugging me out of my thoughts and embarrassment. "Do you want to walk with me, Nara-Chan?"

"Yes," I rush out quickly, the heat on my face now from being flustered instead of embarrassed. "I... um... yes, I would like to walk with you," I correct, keeping my tone soft and even this time.

"Great," Neji says, sending me another smile. "I'm going to go greet the others. I'll come find you when we're ready to go, alright?"

"Alright," I murmur, smiling back at him. My eyes trail after Neji, watching him walk away to greet the rest of my squad and his cousin's squad that just showed up.

When my eyes shift back to Shikamaru, who's gloomy, arms crossed over his chest, and a glare shot toward Neji. I swear if he was any moodier a storm cloud would form over his head. "You're walking with Neji instead of me?" He groans, the heat of his glare still stuck on the other man.

"Ya. You're walking with Choji anyway. Why do you care?"

"I don't!" He snaps out, his anger pointed toward me instead of Neji. "Okay, maybe I do," he grumbles, eyes softening as he rolls them at me. "You're pretty blind, do you know that?"

"Why? Because I have more friends than just you?" I tease, laughing at his shocked face as I walk away to greet Shino's squad.

———————————

I nod along to the story Tenten is telling me, half paying attention as I look at the scenery. Most of the girls have switched to being carried, not because we're tired but because we're lazy and the guys all have a complex of wanting to be better than the others. So, Lee is carrying Tenten, Kiba is carrying Hinata, Shika is carrying Ino, and Neji is carrying me. Naruto offered to carry Sakura but that ended with him getting a bruise or two.

"So ya, I packed two swimsuits cause the guys are no help," Tenten grumbles, rolling her eyes before she playfully glares at Neji.

"If it makes you feel any better, Shikamaru wasn't much help picking out my swimsuit either," I tell her, the both of us giggling at the guys' incompetence. "I think you should go with the red one though. You always look good in red."

"Alright! Break time!" Shino's voice rings out, paired with a hand clap. The bug shinobi - like always - has declared himself in charge because he's 'older and wiser' than the rest of us. The real reason he's in charge is because Neji doesn't want to put up with Naruto and Shikamaru is too lazy to do it, but none of us are going to tell him that.

We all settle to the side of the path, a few of the guys decking into the forest for a pee break. "Are you ready to get down?" Neji asks, his head tilting backward to look at me.

"Ya, I should probably stretch my legs and give you a break," I answer, wiggling around on his back. He bends down a bit, shorting my jump off him. "Alright, Nej-man," I chirp, stretching myself out. "How much longer until we're to the spot?"

"I would say an hour. Maybe two depending on if we stop again or how many... issues Naruto has," He says, stressing the word 'issues' as his eyes bounce toward the blonde boy.

"That's not too bad," I mumble, sinking to the ground to sit under one of the trees. I rest my head against the bark of it, my eyes falling closed to give them a break from the sun.

"Nara-Chan?"

"Neji?" I hum, slowly opening my eyes again.

Since I've closed my eyes, Neji has pulled out a water bottle. The top off and wrapped up in his hand. "When was the last time you drank water?"

"Uh..." I murmur, having to take a second to figure out the answer. "I don't know. Before we left I think."

Neji lets out a disapproving hum, paired with an equally disapproving look. "We have been out in the sun and the heat all day. You need to be drinking water."

"It's fine. When I'm thirty I will. It's not that big of a deal."

"Yes, it is. Dehydration is a big deal and not something I want you to suffer with," he lectures, sinking to kneel in front of me. "Now, open your mouth Nara-Chan," Neji says, his hand resting under my chin, tipping my head up. Reluctantly I snap my mouth open, eyeing the barely older man. He tips his water bottle, water-falling the liquid into my mouth.

"See? Isn't that better?" He mutters, his eyes locked on my neck again as he sets the bottle down. Neji's eyes shift, locking in mine. When I try to break the staring contest, he uses his hold on my face to put it back in place. "I'm waiting for an answer."

"Oh... um, ya. That's better," I finally answer, my breathing suddenly feeling more labored. Thoughts that would turn Neji red flicker through my mind for a moment. I guess Lee wasn't lying when he said his friend was planning to focus on forming our relationship this weekend.

"Good, now please excuse me," Nej says, squeezing my face gently before dropping his hold on me. "I will be back," he mutters, packing his water bottle back in his bag before disappearing into the trees.

"What the hell was that?" Ino shrieks, her sudden presence next to startling me.

"I don't know," I answer, my voice pitched and mind running wild.

"I don't either. What I do know is that Shikamaru is pissed off again," she tells me, shrugging towards the small circle of Shika, Shino, and Kiba a couple of paces away.

Ino is right. Shikamaru's eyes are locked on me, sight intense as he stares at me, occasionally glances at the spot Neji disappeared from. His arms are crossed too, jaw locked, and the gears in his head turning again. I was kidding when I was poking fun at him for being jealous. I'm starting to think it's not a joke anymore.

Dear Lord, this weekend isn't going to play out smoothly, is it?

———————————————————————

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