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#(yes he is the same professor i recommended young royals to)
brawltogethernow · 4 years
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I suppose the next step then is "BBC Merlin but it's SpideyTorch"
Oh my god. TEACHER, TEACHER, SHE’S TARGETING ME okay okay uh.
Peter, secret warlock, goes to Camelot with his mother figure, May, who does not know about the warlock thing because it kicked in when he was a teenager and they both strategically decline to tell each other things. Gaius is Reed, who was the court sorcerer and is now the court scientist. (He’s not an old man except spiritually where he has been a senile professor since he was 19.) He literally didn’t change anything he was doing, considering science and magic as different points on one spectrum anyway-- No. That’s Doom’s schtick. DOOM was the court sorcerer, and was fired. He is upset about it. Reed is just a science guy but worked extensively with Victor, so he’s kind of useful, but not as useful as Peter was hoping.
I know very little about Sue and Johnny’s dad except that he’s a supervillain who...faked his death, revealed himself, and then died for real like 12 hours later? Did he also fake his wife’s death at some point? Would he do a mad king magic ban thing? Idk but for plot purposes we’ll say yes. They conveniently already share Arthur’s dead mom syndrome. Maybe their aunt whose name is different depending on what issue you’re reading is also here just to convolute the court drama. Wait no didn’t Arthur have a shady uncle show up after like five seasons. She.
Peter is very talented at finicky, specific magical formulas. (Reed: :) )But in practice he really prefers to just slam out a big wave of power, and if that doesn’t solve the problem, repeat until it does. (Reed: :( ) He gives this a go at the beginning of sorting out any problem, like restarting your glitching computer, and if it doesn’t work the problem is complicated enough to be an episode plot.
So obviously I’m still gonna do secret identity shit? Peter saves the young prince and heir’s life and is rewarded with a second job; he only came here for job reasons and you’re all lucky he doesn’t turn down paying jobs otherwise he’d be having some words with the king. Peter also accidentally becomes a masked vigilante out in the town. His very existence is illegal because he’s obviously doing magic! They keep sending his boss out to hunt him down, and their eyes are always locking dramatically and shit in brief silent stare-offs from opposite ends of the street in thunder storms at sunset until Johnny’s horse rears and breaks the eye contact causing Peter to snap out of it and flee. You know how it is.
Sue is older than Johnny and thus older than the magic ban, so she responded to it by going “:) That’s nice, Dad” and socking away a bunch of books before they could go on the fire, and now she’s just a sorceress on the dl. This is approx. a first season finale reveal, because her real superpower is being able to keep her mouth the hell shut. I literally cannot with how nobody in Merlin ever exchanges information, so shortly after Peter and Reed learn this they exchange secrets, like sane people, which opens up their resources a bit.
That said Sue is an extra legitimate royal, not the Morgana equivalent. Maybe Gwen should be Gwen, especially since I have thought Gwen/Johnny/Peter has potential since reading Spider-Man/Fantastic Four (which if you read an earlier ask, I recommend if you want to see new art of Gwen being mean in hair clips). But Peter/Gwen and Merlin/Freya are like...same energy except the latter wasn’t as well done. And Merlin’s Guinevere honestly more reminds me of Betty. Morgana--
(wheeze)
(cough)
Okay I thought this trying to reconcile as much of the cast as possible and I now can’t unthink it so. The king’s ward is Dorrie Evans. Yes she goes nebulously sapphic evil witch queen. Sure she was an unpleasant teenager and readers hate her, but you know what, I’ll simp, whatever. Let Dorrie poison some people. In a cape. This feels natural to me. Also Betty Brant and Dorrie Evans???? Betty/Dorrie vibes???? I guess!!!!
So like. The thing where Arthur gets mystically whammied by love potions once a month, except also Johnny’s normal relationship-anticipating giddiness happening organically mixed in, the part before he actually starts dating someone and becomes immediately depressed. Peter is in the bg sarcastically dismissing magical incidents saying he can’t even tell the difference, and Reed is like 😬 Please Check Anyway. Peter’s not, haha, Peter’s not jealous, Johnny is just an idiot, and, okay maybe Peter is a little jealous! But it doesn’t matter because the prince is going to marry some noble and--
Reed: Prince Johnathan is a bit like a little brother to me, so Please Stop Telling Me About Your Problems.
Reed/Sue is reciprocated but on permanent hold for class reasons. Spideytorch is in the same boat except they’re also stupid and working it out by dating their way through the whole country, except Peter is actually into that and Johnny is not.
The dragon is...Ezekiel?????? That’s the right level of wise wry mentor who’s very shady and will kill you, so he’s a dragon now. And when he tells Peter he’s the (other) chosen one, Peter full stop doesn’t believe him. This disbelief goes on extensively. Peter is not a fate-oriented person. Johnny would love to hear about the fate thing, but no one will tell him.
Literally I’m just going to add more chronologically unmoored medievalish shit to Merlin now to cram more of the cast in. There’s some kind of town crier/herald outfit, and Jonah is their boss. He’s just out in the road yelling sometimes even though he can delegate that. The buglers otherwise known as Bugle staff named Peter’s vigilante persona the Spider, which was supposed to sound menacing but is in practice also cool. This is out-of-universe fairly equivalent to Merlin’s real name as a neat two-syllable animal word and possible title. In-universe maybe I’d elbow out Emrys and just use this. Merlin is already very servants-don’t-work-like-that, so Betty just also has two jobs for no reason so she can knock elbows with them.
MJ is the court jester and knows absolutely everything, which is a dramatic mid-game reveal that isn’t exactly foreshadowed so much as always possible while carefully obscured from the viewer (the reader). Before this she’s already a Wise Fool, Shakespeare-ways archetype character, it’s just not clear how much. She is the most important character in Homestuck Merlin Spider.
Every ship is real for at least 30 seconds. Most of the extended FF cast are either magical antagonists or weird nobles.
Ben????? (Grimm, I mean. Ben Parker is dead. Ben Reilly is a recurring episodic plot.) This show was painfully formulaic and would simply not keep someone with any version of his deal in the main cast, but he’s a full quarter of the FF so. A magical accident approximated his rock body deal. Maybe specifically tying him to ~the magic of the land~. And then, uh. Wandering the country is too satellite-like. Hiding out in a forbidden castle wing is interesting but doesn’t do him justice. So I guess it’s a come and go semivoluntary transformation thing that’s kept secret? Rock werewolf. Were-rock. Good opportunity to fake out like you’re going to do a monster of the week plot, and then he contributes to the tension to abolish the magic ban.
Knights?? Wyatt is there from the beginning, being tall and reassuring (holding a sword edition). Not sure how him or his immediate ancestors got to Europe and then ended up this involved with the local nobility, but it was probably exciting. And Flash, or he’s an early addition. Either way he’s from the same village as Peter and is approximately White’s Kay, except directed at the wizard instead of the future king, and otherwise you can completely superimpose their comic dynamic including the fanboying over the secret identity angle, which is entertainingly seditious. ...Others. I don’t know enough FF characters for this. I’ve accidentally implied the eventual addition of Bennet Brant, but his evil sorcerer of the week energy is very strong, so maybe not. Randy eventually because I already implied the Robertsons and can see it.
This is so long, covers nothing, and explains none of the namechecks. Using both these characters’ franchises in one fusion is too much stuff. I keep not talking about the core relationship because it’s just. Like That. I don’t feel like I need to elaborate on the Merthur dynamic, even transposed on a different ship. It’s Just Like That.
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simplyclockwork · 4 years
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Simplyclockwork Fic Recs
Alternate Universe/Crossovers
I am breaking my massive fic rec into pieces by genres.
Performance in a Leading Role - @madlori
Explicit. 156,714 words. 21 chapters.
Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?
A Moment’s Surrender - anchors
Mature. 64,272 words. 10 chapters.
Sherlock tours worldwide with the English National Ballet. John dances the Lindy Hop competitively all across the globe. That they would meet, then, by the slimmest of chances in one lonely city, is pure coincidence. The whole 'dancing together' bit is a little more planned. Dancer!AU.
Love or What You Will - @miss-frankenstein
Teen and Up. 31,987 words. 11 chapters.
John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.
Two Two One Bravo Baker - abudantlyqueer
Explicit. 114,574 words. 27 chapters.
Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John?
The Jewel in the Tower - PoppyAlexander (@fuckyeahfightlock)
Explicit. 207,079 words. 39 chapters.
"Xie [...] had invented an entire pleasure-industry by combining superior visual aesthetics with impeccable personal attention. Drasha salons were by that time a feature of any even half-decent house of repose in every pleasure district in the British Isles, but once upon a time, when Xie debuted, there had been only one, and Xie had named it: the Icehouse."
* In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace--despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world's pleasure districts.
John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world's most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned "drashaskaya," the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled.
In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London's pleasure district. *
Modern-day dystopian/one-world government/espionage/geisha!lock AU
The Loss of Flesh and Soul - deuxexmycroft 
Explicit. 60,000+ words. Unfinished.
Five years after John Watson puts the murderous Sherlock Holmes behind bars, a vicious copycat killer emerges. A reluctant John is pulled out of retirement to seek the expertise of the only man who can help, a man who has developed an unsettling obsession with John himself.
Crossover with Red Dragon/Silence of the Lambs
Simplyclockwork note: Not fully finished, but an alternative ending was posted. Still worth reading without a full ending.
I wake up and I wake up and you’re still dead - thisprettywren (memento/Sherlock crossover)
Mature. 24,226 words. One-shot.
Sherlock isn't the only one who's lost.
The Sinking of the Titanic: Sixty Years Later - flawedamythyst
Teen and Up. 15,340 words. One-shot.
John Watson is interviewed for a documentary being made for the sixtieth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. The story he tells is not the one the interviewer was expecting.
The Bachelors’ Handfasting - Jberry
Explicit. 30,624 words. 20 chapters.
After her son is caught in a compromising position, Victoria Holmes must make arrangements for a quick marriage between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.
Simplyclockwork note: Kilt!Lock and Soft Bab Sherlock (but of age)
Just to Hold You Close - @sussexbound
Explicit. 70,841 words. 18 chapters.
When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.
Summit Fever - @jbaillier
Mature. 78,867 words. 18 chapters.
After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I — the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains — shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?
The Last Companion - standbygo (@blogstandbygo)
Explicit. 34,101 words. 14 chapters.
Thirty years after the Miranda Wars, there is peace, both on the Rim and the Core planets. There are a number of old social mores still in place, such as the Order of Companions, but there is a sense that even such respected practices are coming to an end…
Sherlock is a Companion - the best Companion on Persephone. With a bit of detective work on the side, of course. Then he meets a man named John Watson, encounters a series of bizarre cases, and finds his world is getting turned upside down.
Simplyclockwork note: Sherlock/Firefly AU!
Out There - @discordantwords
Teen and up. 131,695 words. 10 chapters.
FBI Special Agent John Watson, medical doctor and army veteran, is assigned to assist eccentric genius Sherlock Holmes with paranormal investigations on the X-Files project.
This is a fusion with The X-Files, written for the Fall TV Season Challenge.
Say You’ll Stay With Me - justacookieofacumberbatch (buffyholic)
Explicit. 63,349 words. 21 chapters.
It was just supposed to be an ordinary business trip, but when John's car stalls out on Hollywood Boulevard, he meets someone who just might change his life.
Simplyclockwork note: Pretty Woman/Sherlock AU.
Gimme Shelter - @sincewhendoyoucallme-john
Explicit. 159,368 words. 21 chapters.
All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair.
That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition.
Apokalypsis - songlin
Mature. 12,125 words. 4 chapters.
There were things I never told you because I thought we had time. There is no time left in the world anymore.
Sensory Science - @sussexbound
Explicit. 80,017 words. 24 chapters.
John Watson has been invalided home from Afghanistan and is struggling with anxiety, depression, PTSD and insomnia, when an old friend from med school recommends something that might help: An ASMR YouTube Channel run by a friend.
One session in and John is hooked, not only by the way the ASMR seems to calm him after nightmares, and help him sleep, but also by the mysterious man who runs it.
Comparative Literature is for Idiots - lookupkate
Explicit. 8,173 words. 4 chapters.
Sherlock thinks he's very bohemian, smoking cigarettes and wearing patchouli oil and writing poetry in the attic. In truth he's just your average seventeen year old, not showering enough and being hit particularly hard by his continued path through puberty.
John is getting his masters in literature. He's the TA for comparative literature and yearns for romance. Romance has other plans, plans that require him to go without for at least ten more years. Plans that put in front of him the exact man he'll finally fall in love with, but in boy form.
When Sherlock happens to see John reading poetry at a coffee shop he is immediately smitten. John holds him at arm's length because he's a bloody child.
How will ten years and miles apart change that view, and will John be able to understand how he's fallen in love with someone he doesn't ever get to see?
Stay tuned for puberty hi jinx and the passing of time to find out. And yes, there will be love.
An Everlasting Inferno - thatawkwardfriend
Explicit. 108,389 words. 15 chapters.
Sherlock and John are both men who operate outside the law. John works for Mary and her hitmen in order to keep a roof over his head. Sherlock does anything his drug dealer asks of him in exchange for free drugs and housing.
They meet one night in a darkened garage to negotiate a deal. But they soon find out that neither of their bosses are being entirely honest with them about their goals or motives. With a little poking around, they stumble upon something much bigger than themselves and discover that perhaps, it might be in their best interests to work together.
(Loosely inspired by StartUp and Little Favour)
Only To Be With You - @sincewhendoyoucallme-john
Mature. 40,768 words. 4 chapters.
I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black.
I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.
You Give Me Fever - michi_thekiller
Explicit. 16,122 words. One-shot.
Thou givest fever when we kisseth, fever with thy flaming youth Fever I'm afire; fever, yea, I burn forsooth "He's the kind of boy you want to take apart."
Gratuitous Greaserlock. It's essentially 16k of mostly-porn. Warnings for underage sex between teens.
If you’re one of the authors listed here and have a Tumblr, and would like me to link it (if I haven’t already), please let me know! 
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witcherdoaks · 4 years
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Spring Day: Ghost
Word Count: 2,080
Warnings: None, just a short intermittent chapter 
Previous post in the series: A Brief Reunion
Masterlist: Spring Day
Ciri located Geralt and Yennefer along the path when word reached her of the bard’s passing. The young woman refused to leave Geralt’s side for which Yennefer was thankful. To Ciri, Jaskier had been an odd comfort, a tie to her royal life with all his fussiness and knowledge of high society manners, but more than that, he was a reminder to fuck all and live life. She was no stranger to death, so his death meant she’d have one more name to carry with her until her own demise. Now it was her turn to look out for Geralt as best as she could without making the witcher feel claustrophobic.  
For his part, Geralt pulled off a convincing act if one wasn’t paying attention. More than once his shoulders would tense, and he would quickly excuse himself whenever a different bard attempted renditions of Jaskier’s songs at taverns. Then there were the people who knew the bard would travel with him in spring and summer telling him it was such a shame the talented young man had passed. Ciri noted all of this and the manner with which the Witcher avoided towns and people even more, so she was relieved when they made it to Kaer Morhen that winter, especially after that trip to Oxenfurt. 
The famed academy had received news of the bard’s passing in mid spring. They sent word for Geralt to head to the campus by the beginning of summer, so the pair reached Oxenfurt some weeks after that. Geralt looked positively green as he was led through the halls to Jaskier’s living quarters. Ciri had offered to deal with the officials and everything else about the visit, but the white wolf turned her down. He had to do this himself, he said. 
“Professor Pankratz left you his possessions in the event of his passing, lord knows why,” the stick thin old man said in a tone that revealed he knew the why and very much disapproved of it.
Geralt only nodded stiffly while Ciri glared daggers at the man. Eventually they reached their destination, and the old man told them that any items left behind would be repurposed for the university or would be discarded. They had only four days to go through everything. For the size of the office and living quarters, it was a lot. Books were piled high on every corner of the rooms, most of which Geralt knew he would never need but had to convince himself not to take as they would serve the university well. There was also no possible way Roach and Ciri’s stallion would be able to take everything. The young woman recommended rifling through the tomes regardless; it had been her grandmother's habit to place papers or other in between pages of books. Maybe Jaskier was the same. 
Several books later, they had many dried flowers in between sheets of paper and cotton. Eventually Geralt found a rather large book where the dried flowers were probably destined for. As Geralt turned the pages, he realized there were herbs and other dried medicinal plants  placed carefully in pockets on each side of a page. Annotations and captions filled the pages next to the specimens, detailed descriptions of their properties and the occasional wayward comment. The bard must have spent a great deal of time developing the book. 
“We should take that one,” Ciri said, looking at the contents from over his shoulder. Maybe it would prove useful in the future. 
The Witcher agreed and set the book aside. As he glanced around the room, there were still piles of unsearched tomes everywhere and a disarray of parchments strewn all over Jaskier’s desk. Geralt sighed, tired of looking through tomes in a place that was saturated with Jaskier’s scent. Even with his Witcher senses, he would get accustomed to the smell, chamomile and apple blossom faded into the background, bringing with it unacknowledged comfort. Only for him to notice the scent again and be reminded that the bard was gone. It made Geralt’s throat constrict in that familiar way, yet his eyes were no longer able to express his sorrow. 
“Why don’t you take a break, Geralt?” Ciri asked, placing a hand on his shoulder, bringing him out of his thoughts.  
He glanced at her, and she squeezed his shoulder, giving him a slight nod. Geralt knew he wouldn’t be away for long; he couldn’t let Ciri do all the work, but stepping out of those quarters was quite literally a breath of fresh air. 
Every step took him farther away from the bard’s living quarters, making it easier to breathe and settle his thoughts. There were very few students roaming the passageways. Those that were gave secretive glances in his direction when they thought he wasn’t looking, for which Geralt was grateful. 
He hadn’t been paying much attention where he was going and found himself walking along one of the bridges connecting the two islands eventually. There he stopped, leaning on the stone parapet. The view before him was idyllic, blue hued mountain ranges were peaking above the forest line. His sharp eyes could make out the crystalline snow caps at the apex before they shifted back to the river‘s water, impossibly opaque but not in a murky, muddy way. The Witcher wondered if Jaskier had ever stood here, overlooking the same scene. Would he come here to clear his head, to get away from the students who surely filled the halls in the winter? What would occupy the bard’s mind when he stood here?
“Witcher!” 
Geralt turned in the direction of which his title was called. A woman dressed in orange and green was walking down the bridge toward him. The feather in her red-orange beret was fanning out every so often. 
“I heard you were here,” she cheerfully explained her approach. “It’s nice to meet you in the flesh instead of in a ballad.” 
Her cheerful demeanor slipped from her face as he continued to stare at her, wondering why she had approached him at all. None of the other students had done it. Still she continued past the mounting silence. 
“If you require assistance sorting things out, I’d be happy to extend my stay.” The woman looked almost hopeful as if she wanted him to ask her the favor, “I was passing through to retrieve any parcels Dandelion may have left me.” 
Her voice went soft at the end, and she looked wary now. 
“Dandelion?” Geralt asked, tilting his head. 
“That was what we called him here at the Academy,” she cleared her throat and looked away, “Jaskier, I mean.” 
Ah, here it was. Another facet of Jaskier’s life that Geralt didn’t know. A trivial detail of the bard’s life, which Geralt would have never known had he not met this stranger. THis knowledge left an acrid taste in his mouth. He’d never again be able to discover tidbits of Jaskier from the source itself. All new knowledge of Jaskier would be received from those that knew him. 
Geralt must have been glaring when the woman glanced at him because she took a step away.
“Yes, well, I must be going,” she hurriedly excused herself, “my offer stands, Witcher.” 
A pool of guilt seeped into Geralt’s core, making him grimace. She hadn’t been at fault, and she was only being kind by offering to help. Yet he scared her off. He sighed and started walking back to the living quarters. In the distance, a flash of red orange made a turn into one of the buildings, but he kept walking. It was too late to do anything now, he convinced himself and continued walking.  
When he got back to Ciri, the young woman had made considerable progress with the books and even had some of the students cart off the items they had already inspected. The two of them continued their perusal of the quarters. That which they didn’t need or felt immediately attached to was donated to the academy. Geralt was left with a sparsely used journal, the tome and other nicknacks of the bard’s while Ciri took with her a small ornate table mirror and a scarf she had gifted the bard some years prior. 
It was late evening on their last night at the Academy that Geralt saw the woman again, looking to deliver a package to him. He took the package in hand and accepted the words of comfort that left her mouth, wondering how much of Jaskier she knew, before closing the door on her. 
At night when the candle allotted to him had burned a quarter of the way down, Geralt sat with the bundle in front of him on the table. Ciri had gone to sleep some time ago. It was just him and his thoughts now. The bundle beckoned him, and he reached out to hold it in his hands. It barely weighed anything. The scents coming off it were smoke from a hearth, ink and that woman. It had been with her person for a couple of days at least, so that made sense.
Gently he untied the strings holding the parcel together. As the fabric fell open, the smell of dried ink intensified, yet it now mingled with chamomile and apple blossoms. At the very top of everything was a folded piece of parchment. With one hand Geralt unfolded it and his eyes landed on the topmost line in the bard’s script.
My dear Priscilla 
And that’s all he read. The parchment malformed and wrinkled with the force he used to fold it. The bundle now felt like lead in his hands, but he knew he couldn’t be rid of it. It was still a piece of Jaskier after all, so he rewrapped it and tied the string as securely as he could before shoving the entire thing into his satchel. 
Geralt blew out the candle and went to sleep.  
Even weeks later, Jaskier’s scent lingered on his belongings. 
Of course it did, Geralt had carefully wrapped them in cotton sheets to stow away in his travel bag. He had transferred them to a chest as soon as they reached Kaer Morhen. The bundle the woman gave him lay on the table of his room again. It remained there for a better part of the winter, purposely forgotten in favor of training and renovation of the castle. By now the scent of her was nearly gone, overwritten by the Witcher keep.
It was at this time, months after the incident, that Geralt took the parcel in his hands and unwrapped it with utmost care. Letting the chamomile and apple blossom soothe over his nerves and pounding hear. He smoothed out the wrinkled parchment and opened it to read. 
My dear Priscilla, 
Fate must have smitted me if you are reading this letter. I would hope I’d have died without regrets, but I rather doubt that is the case — at least where our infamous white wolf is concerned in the time I write this letter. 
I could shower you with praises for your natural beauty and talent. Except I fear that would be a waste of time as you already know how even the proudest of songbirds stop to hear you sing. 
Instead I will call upon your vast intellect and sensitivity to make the choice you feel is best, both for him and for my legacy. I leave to you some of my most private compositions. Many of these have not been finished or if they have, are not composed to my quality of my liking. I know you value an artist's integrity and would never betray this trust which I have in you. Unlike that pompous idiot Valdo Marx, seriously beware of him and kick him on his miniscule family jewels  the next time you see him in my honor. 
Back on topic, I’ll leave it up to you whether you wish to keep these writings or hand them off to Geralt of Rivia, who for the last couple of decades has occupied my heart and mind and is the subject of many of the present compositions. 
Please don’t punch him. He has apologized as I’ve told you countless times, and you would only be breaking a hand or wrist if you carry out vengeance in my name. I do not wish for him to hurt more than he is. He hides it well, Priscilla. 
Thank you, dear Callonetta. 
Sincerely yours,
Dandelion 
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mautadite · 4 years
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april book round up
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20 books this month, which i didn’t see coming. i had more free time than expected, even with working from home and *makes vague hand gestures*. i still have a scribd membership so almost all these books came from there. also i’m putting some thought into reviewing on netgalley, so a couple from there as well.
american fairy tale - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m romance in herrera’s dreamers series that follows immigrants and children of immigrants. this second book was fun, a kind of fairy tale romance as the title suggests. a rich guy/poor guy situation which isn’t usually my cup of tea, and the domineering, throw-money-at-every-situation personality of the rich guy got on my nerves, and i wasn’t totally sold on the way the conflict was resolved? but i enjoyed it. herrera’s books just have this down to earth vibe that i love.
unfit to print - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ historical m/m romance. vikram, a young lawyer doing a lot of pro-bono work in the indian community in london, lost touch with his childhood friend gil years and years ago, is pretty sure he’s dead. so imagine his surprise when he comes across him in an unlikely occupation in an unlikely place. this was a charming, touching novella, really interesting historically, with a lot of cool titbits about porn in the 19th century. very sweet romance-wise.
american love story - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another dreamers novel, this one about a black professor and political activist and a white ADA who had a fling a while back and are now living in the same town. and same apartment building. lol. it did get into real world politics, which i know some people don’t like, but i honestly thought it well done? there were some great bits in this, good insight, one really harrowing moment, and just really great chemistry and character moments.
wanted, a gentleman - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more historical m/m romance from k.j. charles, which i always like, but this one i REALLY liked. which surprised me, because it’s a novella, and with novellas you never spend enough time with characters to really know them and their story and get attached? but that’s exactly what happened here. a well-to-do ex-slave and a poor gazette owner team up to untangle a young love affair. i seriously loved this, the characters are so good together. T__T
far from the world we know - harper bliss ⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f romance about a young widow with a traumatic past who moves to a tiny new town to take care of her ailing aunt, and slowly falls into a relationship with the owner of the local newspaper. the premise was good, but this honestly felt like every single harper bliss book i’ve ever read, except it had nothing to recommend it. ask me why these characters even like each other. i can’t answer! 
the hound of justice - claire o'dell ⭐️⭐️ the second book in a series that re-imagines the sherlock holmes universe, except as near-future scifi set during a civil war, and both holmes and watson are black lesbians. i LOVED the first book (with a few caveats) and i’ve been looking forward to this one for so long... but it was disappointing. in terms of the writing, in terms of the direction the characters took, in terms of the plot... i have to wonder if i read the first one with rose-tinted glasses. :/ won’t be continuing this series.
the vintner's luck - elizabeth knox ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ *CLUTCHES MY CHEST WITH BOTH HANDS* in my goodreads review i said i didn’t know how to talk about this novel, and i still don’t. but i ADORED IT. so completely. in early 19th century france, the young son of a winegrower climbs a hill on his father’s property, and there, meets an angel. this is the story of them falling in love, but also about family and friendship, love and death. it’s written SO beautifully, and i’ll be thinking about it for a long time.
the family fang - kevin wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ OOOF. i went into this knowing that several friends loved it so i knew i probably was gonna too and i DID. it’s about two siblings whose parents have been obsessed (since before the birth of their children, and until the present day where they’re both grown) with the idea of creating perfect art, and how the kids survive that. i actually didn’t enjoy reading many parts of this, but only because it was so well written, if that makes sense? like, it took me right in there with some of the shitty emotions and just made me feel. OOOF.
mrs. martin's incomparable adventure - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a VERY sweet and charming historical f/f romance between a wealthy 74-yo widow and the cute young 69 (nice) yo landlady who comes to ask for her help. and then they have an adventure! i read it at a great time, because i was beginning to feel really bummed out about how people are trivialising and discounting the lives of older people in this crisis, and there was a really great message of like... life not being over until you SAY it’s over, living like you have 20 more years left. i loved it a lot.
his convenient husband - robin covington ⭐️⭐️ m/m contemporary fake marriage story, about a russian ballet dancer and the widowed american football player he marries to get citizenship. and then they fall in love for realsies. i love fake marriage as a trope, it can be so cute but this was very meh. if a book is gonna handle racism/homophobia in such a shallow way... i’d honestly prefer if the book just pretended those things don’t exist lol. :/ it’s also very very rushed and not well plotted at all. alas.
once ghosted, twice shy - alyssa cole ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ alyssa cole is like my good luck charm, because starting here, i read a bunch of lesbian romance novels that i really liked. this one is part of a series about reluctant royals, and follows the dapper assistant to a prince as she falls for a girl who seemingly ghosts her, and then meets her again months later. it’s a novella, and sort of relies on the fact that you would have met one of the characters in a previous book (which i did read). but i really really liked it, thought it was super cute, and the mcs had great chemistry. it was almost insta-love, which i really don’t like... but i still like this book so much. also best cover?? BEST COVER. 
who'd have thought - g. benson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ now THIS is fake marriage done right!!! f/f contemporary romance about a struggling nurse who comes across an ad offering a chunk of money in exchange for one year of marriage... and the person on the offering end turns out to be the cold, stuck-up but brilliant doctor at the hospital where she works. this was the perfect slow burn, with great character writing, really good set-up, very believable arc as they slowly fall in love. it got me so emotional at times. definitely gonna make sure i read more from this author.
three reasons to say yes - jaime clevenger ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ f/f contemporary about two women who strike up a romance while on vacation in hawaii; one an overworked professional, one a doctor-mom of twin girls. another winner for me. just an extremely cute, very genuine butch/femme romance. it’s funny because i definitely nitpicked on a lot of things in this book, but i only remember the parts of if that made me so fond.
we set the dark on fire - tehlor kay meija ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ f/f YA fantasy in a world deeply divided by class. in the upper echelons of society, girls are trained either to become one of the two wives of upper class men; the primera and the segunda. the story follows a girl who has faked her social class becoming the primera of a very powerful man, getting involved with revolutionaries, and developing a surprising relationship with her husband’s segunda. really interesting world-building, some lovely writing, a really heart-felt core. i had my nitpicks with the plot but i still super enjoyed it, really want to read the second part.
a tale of two mommies  - vanita oelschlager ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ netgalley book. a cute children’s story about a kid with two moms. <3
crier's war - nina varela ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more f/f fantasy YA, this one with the added benefit of being about something that i ADORE reading about in fiction: artificial life. in this fantasy world, automae were created, perfected, became aware of their place in society, fought a war for their autonomy... and won. the story opens up 50 years later, in a society ruled by robots, where humans are subjugated. it follows the current robot ruler’s created daughter and a young human rebel whose one goal is to kill said daughter. i loved this SO much, the enemies to lovers trope was peeeerfect. i wish the writing was tighter, and some plot elements could have used cleaning up, but i enjoyed this so much. the ROMANCE especially was... gah! <3 the second book comes out soon, but i want it like, now.
second dad summer - benjamin klas ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another netgalley book. a fun and charming primary/middle school story about a kid spending the summer with his father, and his father’s new boyfriend, who he doesn’t quite get along with. over the summer he makes new friends, nurtures some plants, learns some lessons. i thought this was well-written, touching, and does a pretty good job of telling kids about queer stuff. 
tempting fate - sloane kennedy ⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m novella (short story honestly) about two ranch hands realising their feelings for one another. it was fine, i read it because i was in the mood for a quick HEA and i got that, but it was also kinda flat and there were several kinda irksome things about it. i reeeeeally don’t like overly possessive characters, lol.
all the reasons i need - jaime clevenger ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more contemporary f/f romance, this one about long time friends who have been in love for ages, slowly coming to a place where they can finally admit their feelings and try to embark upon a relationship. again, while on vacation! this was a lot more sombre than the previous clevenger book, as it deals with past abuse and eating disorders. but i also found the writing to be better in general, and the relationship between the two women was just... so great. the writing definitely isn’t pulitzer prize-winning or anything, but there are so few good butch/femme books out there, i ate this up, and will def. be reading more from this author.
interpreter of maladies - jhumpa lahiri ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ speaking of pulitzer prize-winning authors... i’ve had this author and this book specifically at the back of my mind since secondary school; one of my literature teachers really loved it and would bring it up all the time. i really enjoyed it! it’s a collection of stories about the indian diaspora in america, as well as life on the subcontinent. i really like her writing (very simple, very precise, but very evocative) and there were a few really striking stories.
and that’s it for april. look at me, actually writing this entry on time, lol. for may i’m just gonna... keep reading whatever catches my eye on scribd i guess. i remember vaguely saying that by this time of the year i would have moved on to reading the books on my physical bookshelf that i haven’t gotten to yet but... i go where the wind takes me etc. currently reading silver moon, about women who turn into werewolves once they hit menopause? absolutely metal.
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In 1955, Moon admitted he had falsified his age to dodge the draft. Who made his “Certificate of Innocence”?
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It has no court symbol or address on it, which seems inappropriate for a document from the Seoul Superior Court. It states the date of sentencing was November 21, 1955. That does not match multiple newspaper reports from the time. The Dong-A Ilbo was just one of the respected papers that carried the story. They all state that Moon was sentenced on September 21, 1955.
On that day, Moon was indicted and began a two year jail sentence. Other church leaders were also indicted at the same time.
Dong-A Ilbo: “On September 20 ... Defendant Moon did admit that he had raised his age. ... Prosecutor Kang, in the bill of indictment, pointed out that defendant Moon “had raised his age to avoid the draft (military service)””
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▲ ‘X’ indicates Moon standing before the judge, probably on the day he was indicted. (Full translation is below.)
How could Sun Myung Moon be innocent if he had admitted his guilt to prosecutor Kang Seo-yong, 姜瑞龍 ? If Moon was innocent, why was he indicted and locked up, as the papers of the time reported.
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Oh Yeong-choon, 呉永春, (above) was one of the most important and loyal early disciples. She joined in Busan in early 1952. Her testimonies were published in English in February, March and May 2013 by the UC / FFWPU; she had written them in 1978 after moving to the US. In the early years Moon trusted her with important money matters. During the 1955 Ewha Woman’s University sex scandal she raised a lot of money and paid it to contacts in the police and judiciary to try to stop Moon being investigated or then arrested. According to her words, when finally she had paid enough, Moon was released—furtively, after dark, on October 4, 1955.
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The certificate of “innocence”does not seem to have the name of any official. It does not list all the other charges brought against Moon in July 1955. He was “charged with the false imprisonment” for three days of a 22 year-old female university student “who he forced to adopt his new religion”.
The certificate does not look like the usual Korea official documents which famously have multiple stamps on them. The one stamp it does have is so degraded that it is conveniently illegible. The certificate was apparently created on July 1, 1974, shortly before Moon’s Madison Square Gardens speech. Perhaps Moon wanted to forestall negative newspaper reports in the US in the run up to his big public event. The certificate is the same one that Bo Hi Pak presented to Donald Fraser during that Congressional investigation. Pak insisted that Moon was innocent, but the historical record seems to prove otherwise.
How well do you know your Moon?
동아일보   Dong-A Ilbo (East Asia Daily News) September 21, 1955  
어제첫公判 統一教會 事件  ( 공판통일교회사건 )
Yesterday the first trial was held in the ‘Unification Church incident’
On September 20, ‘Unification Church’ leader Moon Sun Myung (real name, Moon Yong Myung), aged 36, appeared for the first day of his trial in Seoul District Court No. 4. At the 10:30a.m. hearing the presiding judge was Yoon Hak-no ( 尹學老 ) and the prosecutor was Kang Seo-yong ( 姜瑞龍 ) who was handling the prosecution of Moon Sun Myung. [The afternoon hearing was at 2:30p.m.] On this day the court was jam-packed with many women who seemed to be ‘Unification Church’ believers.
Defendant Moon, who has been much talked about concerning multiple alleged adulteries, on the day only stood as a defendant for charges of Military Service Act violations. This is because there were no complaints from the alleged victims. Along with him, other defendants from the same church stood trial as well: Kim Won-pil (28, violated the Military Service Act, and had raised his age by six years), Eu Hyo-won (42, failed to report to military record), Eu Hyo-min (36, same charge as above), and Eu Hyo-yeong (35, same charge as above).
As soon as the court session began the prosecution read the list of indictments and then the investigation into the facts proceeded. Defendant Moon did admit that he had raised his age. The legal profession still had two arguments about whether raising one’s age, even when the person subject to the draft was over 32 or 33 years old, was a violation of the Military Service Act. Nevertheless, Prosecutor Kang, in the bill of indictment, pointed out that defendant Moon “had raised his age to avoid the draft (military service) in accordance with the Christian doctrine against injuring others or taking life”.
동아일보 Dong-A Ilbo newspaper, September 22, 1955
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文敎主에二年 統一敎會事件求刑
Religious Leader Moon given two year sentence in the ‘Unification Church incident’ prosecution
文敎主 (문교주) 에二年 (이년) 統一敎會事件求刑 (통일교회사건구형)
작보 = 二 (이) 십일 개정된 『통일교회사건』제一 (일) 회공판에서  사실심리에이어  관여  姜瑞龍 (강서용) 검사는피고들에게  각각다음과같이  체형구형을하였다
▲ 文鮮明 (문선명) (교주) = 懲役二年 (징역이년)
▲ 劉孝元 (유효원) = 懲役二年 (징역이년)
▲ 金元弼 (김원필) 劉孝敏 (유효민) 劉孝永 (유효영) = 各各懲役一年六月 (각각징역일년륙월)
Following earlier report: The first trial regarding the ‘Unification Church incident’ started on the 20th [September 1955]. After investigating the facts, prosecutor Kang Seo-yong ( 姜瑞龍 ), recommended the following terms for the defendants:
▲ Moon Sun Myung (religious leader) = Imprisonment for two years
▲ Eu Hyo-won = Imprisonment for two years
▲ Kim Won-pil, Eu Hyo-min, Eu Hyo-yeong = Each person imprisonment for one year and six months
Why was Eu Hyo-won released in the middle of the night?
Eu Hyo-won’s diary: “September 28, 1955. In the morning, the bamboo pen broke. Yoo Kyung-gyu came to visit us. He told us, “With Teacher you are all going to be released today.” But we were still in a very uncertain mood. In the evening, Kim Won-pil, looking out through his window cried out, “This evening?” “Yes,” I answered with a loud voice, but I wasn’t sure. Thirty minutes later, there was still no news, and we went to bed. After we fell asleep, we finally heard the rattling noise of a door being opened and somebody shouting, “380, come out with your belongings.”
Lee Chang-whan was helping us pack. I gave him underwear, shirts and socks. More than ten came out, but I couldn’t see Teacher. When I went to his room 29, he was already looking in my direction. I said, “Why only me?” Teacher said, “Go as quickly as possible; that’s the way it is.” But I couldn’t turn away. I shed tears. I wanted to go back in. When I came out of jail, I saw Soo-Yung. When Wol-Sun greeted me, Tong-Suk held my hands very tightly. We returned to the church by jeep. There were [Kang] Hyun-Sil, Chung-Sook, Ok-Bong, Hwang Un-Ja, Tong-Chol’s mother, Kim Young-Oon, Kwang Yul [Yoo Kwang-Yol] and Kim Bang-Ul.”
Choi Syn-deok 崔信德 (1921-2016) joined in 1954. Later she was Professor of Sociology at Ewha Womans University in Seoul. She wrote an article about the UC in Transactions of the Royal Asiatic Society, Korea Branch No. 43 (1967) The introduction stated: “She was once an active member of the Tong-il Church [ = Unification Church ] and was closely associated with Mun Son-myong.”
“KOREA’S TONG-IL MOVEMENT” “I present here a brief picture of the Tong-il Church from the sociological point of view. … Many reports have been made about these two religious bodies. [The other was Elder Park Tae-seon’s “Olive-Tree” Church.] There is, however, no one who really knows about their leaders, organizations, beliefs and practices. We have seen many families which have been destroyed, leaving unhappy husbands, sorrowful parents and miserable children because of these new religious movements. The purpose of this research is to help in the solution of these problems of disorganization of homes, and to make a scientific study about these groups, without emotional or biased opinions. … “Before Moon’s marriage [in 1960], believers, male as well as female, who longed to meet him and talk with him could easily arrange to be with him in the living room of a home attached to the church, staying until very late. They used to talk, sing and laugh without realizing how fast the night went, until after one or two o’clock in the morning. They called this their period of direct association with the master. Its purpose was to educate and train the believers, that is, to “restore” them.” … “In July, 1955, several senior members and four leaders as well as Mr. Moon were imprisoned under an accusation of injuring public morals. (This matter was reported in papers and journals.)”
http://anthony.sogang.ac.kr/transactions/VOL43/KORS0749D_VOL43.pdf
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▲ Restoring so many women was tiring for Sun Myung Moon
Sex scandal at the Ewha Woman’s University in 1955
A more extensive investigation into this story: Ewha Womans University sex scandal as told in the 1955 newspapers
Tragedy of the Six Marys video transcript (English)
統一教會 事件 = Unification Church Ewha incident [of 1955] The original newspaper articles with Korean text.
Moon found guilty in 1955; started two year jail sentence
Sun Myung Moon’s fake Waseda University Graduation Certificate
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khazelton98-blog · 5 years
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The XX of Equal Pay
In this blog post, I will be writing about the Gender pay gap and I will touch on factors that cause the pay gap. I will talk about the dark truth of media companies who are I may add owned by old rich billionaires which I will include their opinion on the matter (eyeroll) and see if there are issues with the gender pay gap in their company mainly focusing on the BBC issues with the gender pay gap. 
As we know the BBC gender pay gap caused a lot of questions in the media industry on unequal pay for women. This happened because of the UK government demanded that the BBC had to release figures of those who work at the BBC who earn more than 150,000 pounds as a part of it’s so-called “royal charter’ ( which basically guarantees that the corporation will receive its license fee for another 11 years). The BBC published those who earned more than 150,000 pounds of the 96 only a third of them were women. The BBC consistently objects to the disclosure describing it as “poachers” that will drive salaries up in the media industry and that it helps others in the media industry headhunt its staff.  (Ruddick,2019) Even though the list is not very long it is important to note that it is the payment that the BBC was directly paid from the license fee. This means that payments made to other staff members from independently run production companies and BBC worldwide is not included in this so-called “headhunt”. This is why some absolute BBC legends are missed off the list such as Sir David Attenborough, David Dimbleby, Matt Leblanc to name a few are missed off the list due to the fact the cut off is 450,000 another example is Sherlock which stars Benedict Cumberbatch are not included due to been made by an independent production company. (Clarke and Clarke,2019)
The gender pay gap shows of the 96 that 62 were men and 34 were women. This reveals even more than just a simple lack of women that there is also a lack of ethnic diversity among those who are earning the big bucks at BBC. In 2016 it revealed that British journalism is 94% white. (Hitsch,2019) There is even evidence that the industry is lacking diversity and that people from a less snooty background are being overlooked. Mr. David Lammy (a Labour MP from Tottenham) on the 14th April 2016 made this statement in parliament “ I beg to move, that this house notes the crucial cultural role the BBC plays in modern Britan; welcomes the fact that one of the public purposes outlined in the BBC charter is to represent the UK, its nations, regions and communities; notes with concern that the last employment census in 2012 showed the number of black, Asian and minority ethnic people working in the UK creative media fell by 30.9% between 2006 and 2012; believes that a BBC target of 14.2% for 2017 is insufficient.” (Hansard.parliament.uk,2019)
This is after BBC editor Carrie Gracie resigned in January after she said that women employees were discriminated over equal pay. In response to her claims a BBC spokesman (no surprise there) said:
“While we still have more to do, much of this report is already out of date. Recent disclosures by other media organizations show that the BBC’s gender pay gap is amongst the smallest and well below the national average.” Here is the funny thing about this statement he says it’s amongst the smallest but yet there shouldn't even be a slight gender pay gap. So he carries on saying...
“But we do hold ourselves to a higher standard. This is why our action on pay has seen the BBC make real progress in addressing equal pay cases; carrying out an independent audit of equal pay; introduce independent oversight so that disputes can be resolved; take clear steps to rebalance top talent pay; reform out pay structure to ensure fairness and give an unprecedented level of transparency and information about pay ranges for all staff; and set up independent reviews to see what further steps should be taken on pay transparency.   
That's why so many colleges have contributed to project were doing- on gender, ethnicity, disability, LGBT and socio-economic diversity. We all want to make this a great place to work, where people are properly rewarded for their expertise and experience” (Press Gazette,2019) 
Going off from this statement what a load of pretentious old tosh to come out of BBC ( from a MALE spokesman had to type MALE aggressively their).
Surprise surprise.. the gender pay gap just doesn't happen in the BBC it happens all over the media industry it's funny because all these other big cats sure like to jump to the gun about BBC but yet their only doing the same thing. Many women are losing out to men in pay, with them earning more, more senior roles and getting big bonuses, the government gender pay reporting service revealed. The press Gazette showed that 91 percent of UK-based media companies paid men more than women on average based on the mean hourly rate, and 85% paid more in mean bonus pay. This is not because us women are less qualified or few enter the industry. Prime minister (bless her a lot of sarcasm there) choose the Telegraph to write about the issue about the new gender reporting rules she says “ By making this information public, organizations will no longer have anywhere to hide. Shareholders and customers will expect to see improvements and will be able to hold organizations to account if they fail to achieve them.” (Ruddick,2019)
Yet this lovely little statement in the Telegraph is so biased because they have the highest gender pay gaps in the media, with women getting paid 35% less than men on average. 3/4 of the Telegraph highest-paid staff are men, with women working  61.6% of the lower jobs. Men received bonuses of almost twice paid to women on average. Even though it is an issue in the Telegraph it is the only media company that targets to have a zero gender pay gap across the company. Nick Hugh (Telegraphs groups chief executive) has set 2025 as the year by which the company must achieve this saying it “demonstrates where we see the future of the telegraph.” They pledge to monitor frequently and improved maternity benefits. It has offered the option for more flexible working, while 50/50 gender shortlists were introduced for all of its roles.  Some others in media want to reach a zero gender pay gap sooner but only within higher brackets, while others have said they are aiming for total gender parity without setting a deadline. For example, The Financial Times aims to achieve gender parity across its global leadership by 2022, Sky pledges to fill half of its senior roles with women by 2020 and The Guardian targets a 50/50 gender balance in the top half of the organization within 5 years. (Press Gazette,2019) 
BBC’s TV competitors ITN, which produces news for ITV, Channel 4 and 5. Paid men an average of 19.6% more than women and bonus payments jumped to 77.2%. (National Union of Journalist,2019.) Their excuses for this are even funnier they mainly have more men in senior roles with 17 of its 20 top earners being men. The company has published “TARGETS” which are a 50% reduction in the pay gap within 5 years and a third of the 20 top earned will be occupied by women within 3 years, that it will publish salary bands, introduce a development program for high potential women and men, family-friendly working policies. Yes, this does sound all lovely but the fact is still why 5 years why not now.  There shouldn't be a program they should see potential from now and why do they need to make targets it should just be automatically in place now we should be equal now not in a few years. Women at ITN and BBC set up a Whatsapp group to discuss concerns on the pay gap. Natasha Morris legal and equality officer for NUJ says “ It is clear from the latest figures more needs to be done to support women into senior positions within the workplace, ensuring the maternity leave does not mean the end of career progression. It is vital that companies are transparent about pay and where inequality is identified and immediate measures are taken.” (Press, Gazette 2019) 
A book called Lifetime Disadvantage, Discrimination and The Gender Workforce by Susan Bisom-Tapp (a professor of Law in California) and Malcolm Sargeant (a professor of Labour Law at Middlesex uni). Which as your reading this I recommend you have a mental checking list in your head ticking if you feel like this is you because for me personally I totally agree with their points and I agree that being a woman in 2019 still has disadvantages and have handled a lot of discrimination on a daily basis. 
They write about Gender-based factors which effect from a very early point in their lives as girls and later as women. One of the factors is education and training whilst education is an area where young women have made progress, young women are maximizing their potential. In terms of educations access, attainment, and ambition. In terms of education access, attainment, and ambition, girls on average in OECD counties ( The Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development which included the UK.) Amongst OECD counties, girls on average are more likely than boys to anticipate in high-status careers.  Side note I as a women hope to be in a high-status career. Young women clearly are more into undergradute study as on average in OECD counties 59% are female university graduates. So from this, no media company can’t technically say women are not qualified because there is the proof in the pudding we are more likely to have a degree so, therefore, why are we not seen to be more ambitious than males just from that fact. 
Stereotyping is the second factor in the model. Which begins in the classroom and extending into the workplace, gender beliefs about the different characteristics of male and females may lead to differential treatment. In the classroom, boys tend to receive more praise than girls are more frequently accepted. Research reveals that girls are likely to be rewarded for quite and compliant behavior. Which I agree with I felt like this was a problem personally primary and secondary school it was like its accepted for girls not to have a voice and that we should be quiet and poised which is completely wrong we should be outspoken because without it change will not happen. Despite the long-standing prohibition of sex discrimination in the workplace as well. These biases may infect articulation of a given jobs description and skill requirements and the way employment decisions are made. Due to this stereotyping, this has an enormous effect on occupational advancement over time. Which kind of suck for us women because it feels like these companies are writing rubbish job descriptions to hold us back which is not fair. 
Income inequality is another factor is the UK is high, with a rank of sixth amongst the (OECD). The top 10% average income in 2012 was 10.5 times that of the bottom 10% owning 47% of the country’s net wealth. Multiple discrimination women may occupy statuses that further complicate the way in which they are being viewed and treated. One complicating factors is the issue of ageing which I think is so ageist that older workers are viewed as less competent and more difficult to train and more expensive than a younger worker. Which in my opinion is wrong because older people have earned their stripes, their experience so therefore they should be an expense its only fair. Women can encounter other issues and their position in the workplace including minority race-ethnicity, migration status, religion, disability, and sexual orientation.  This is terrible not only just because we are women it's all these so-called attachments that can affect us which shouldn't be the case. Who cares where you from, what you believe, what you like or what you believe in. Those with children may collide with a ‘maternal wall’, which diverts or even terminate career paths when women become pregnant, give birth or choose to work in part-time or flexible work arrangements in order to meet family responsibilities. Whilst some women may have to choose a ‘zero hours’ contracts (which are vile and should be full stop banned). Their pay may suffer from working in such positions and which could affect retirement savings and planning. Women can find the unpredictable hours of work be troublesome with caregiving responsibilities. 
To finish this off the gender pay gap will always be a burning issue in the media industry due to being an “a mans world” and fat cats such a Mr. Murdoch, the brothers, and other idiotic pigs it will not change until there is a change in the upper parts of the media industry. It should be an industry for everybody but sadly it is not. I believe there should be a constant review on the gender pay gap and it should be changed instantly it shouldn't take years because if they can give bonuses to men so easily, they can do the same for women. The disadvantages of being a woman in the media industry out ways the positives it is very sad to see in the 21st century we are still dealing with issues of women not been seen the same as males. Women have fought for decades before for equality and yet we seem to be in the same boat decades later. I can see how women feel unfortunate to be a woman because of the way they are being treated but we need to stand up for what we want and not just look at the basic gender pay gap but look at all the others issues such as race and factors that are simply out of our control and more importantly stereotypes. This is what news should be about rather than the fat cats slating each other when they are all as bad as each other. The change will happen but it looks like it will be a long time till it is in reach. 
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anxious-patton · 7 years
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Collateral Damage - Chapter 1
Masterpost
A little something I’ve been working on recently. The writing is mine, but the idea was given to me by @vigilantvirgil and she deserves co-writer status for helping me with so many details, however minor.
Summary: A college AU in which Logan keeps a huge secret from Virgil. 
Chapter Summary: Logan is paired up with Virgil for an art project in their shared optional art class.
Word Count: 2,320
Pairings: Analogical (romantic), Prinxiety (platonic), Logicality (platonic), Royality (platonic/romantic)
Co-Writer: @vigilantvirgil
Tag List: @fandomsandanythingelse @justanotherpurplebutterfly @artistictaurean @didsomeonesayprince @countessmissyshort @llamaly @icecoldparadise @sandersandthesides Ask and ye shall be added
So far, Logan's day had been hellish. The presentation he had spent all night working on had been postponed last minute, meaning that he was exhausted for no reason whatsoever. He had thus fallen asleep for half of his morning lecture and was missing a heck of a lot of notes he would need to borrow from a classmate. And just to top it all off, he had bashed shoulders in the dormitory hallway and spilled his coffee all over his shirt, meaning he had to turn around to change, was running late to his next class, and had no coffee.
 He cursed under his breath as he neared the door, hearing the professor's voice already addressing the class, and pushed the door open, giving a small nod and a quick 'sorry' before settling in the nearest seat. Logan had chosen the 'Introduction to Art and Design' class as an optional extra. Something slightly less mentally taxing than his five-year astronomy course. A chance to relax and indulge in a hobby he rarely made time for anymore.
 As the professor continued her presentation outlining the outcomes for the course, Logan's eyes settled on the only other kid not watching her intently. The intense purple pigment to his hair made it difficult not to be drawn to him. He seemed the artistic type. Grey and black plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up above his elbows layered over a purple t-shirt to match his colourful head, ripped black skinny jeans and old black converse with designs of thunder clouds and lightning bolts scribbled all over the soles and toes. He had brought a pack of chalk pastilles along with him and was already frantically scribbling in a sketchbook in shades of purple, blue, pink, and black, fingertips smeared with them and arm imprinted with colour where he must have leaned on the drawing. Logan sat up straighter, trying to get a look at what he was drawing, but the boy’s backpack blocked his view.
 “…just to give you a basic understanding of art and design this next semester,” Logan tuned back in to the professor’s speech, tearing his eyes away from the purple haired boy. “Today we will begin with something a little fun and expressive. I’m going to pair you all up to create a painting which expresses your interests. You will have three classes to complete this, so I recommend meeting outside of class on occasion as well.”
 Logan deflated slightly. He despised teamwork. Rarely was the work distributed evenly, and it generally ended with Logan himself doing most of the work. His edgy, chalk-covered classmate seemed to be thinking the same thing, judging by the scowl on his face. They locked eyes for a moment and Logan shook his head and sighed. The other responded with an eye roll and a lopsided smile which made Logan’s heart beat slightly faster in his chest. He smiled back before breaking eye contact as the professor continued.
 “Since I doubt that many of you know each other, please raise your hand when I call your name,” she said, beginning to read out the randomised pairs. Everyone shuffled their seating to begin planning with their partners and eventually Logan was forced to vacate his seat.
 “Logan Sanders,” his head shot up as his name was called and he raised his hand slightly, “and Virgil Black”
 “Hey, specs! Looks like you’re with me,” Logan followed the sound of that voice and found himself staring, once again, at the purple haired boy. Virgil. Perhaps this paired project wouldn’t be terrible after all.
  Once everyone had been paired up, the professor had allowed them to leave the classroom to work wherever they chose, which is how Logan and Virgil found themselves in the campus coffee shop, sketching out ideas for their painting, discussing which artistic style would best represent them, discussing majors. Virgil, it seemed, was not in fact an art student, but a psychology major studying on a scholarship. And he had not only allowed Logan to ramble about astronomy for much longer than he had expected, but even seemed interested, stopping him from time to time to ask questions.
 “Do you want a refill on your Americano?” Virgil asked, picking up his own mug, “I mean, I’m going up for more coffee anyway.”
 Logan smiled, “That’s very kind of you, Virgil. It would be much appreciated.”
 He watched the other take their cups back up to the desk and order more drinks before dipping his head to study their designs. Virgil had suggested finding a way to blend their majors together in a clever and artistic manor, but so far they were having no luck with the actual execution of the project. Especially considering all the planning time they had wasted on chit chat. Though Logan had to admit that it was a welcomed change to enjoy the company of an assigned partner, even if it did hinder their productivity just slightly.
 “Here you go, spaceman,” the psychology student smiled, handing over a steaming mug. He settled next to Logan again and took a sip from his own mug. The way he held the liquid in his mouth for a moment – seeming to hesitate before gulping it down – suggested that he didn’t actually enjoy the taste. Logan suppressed an amused grin, deciding it best not to bring it up. He picked up a pencil, drawing another rectangle on their page of ideas and sketching out another scene of the two of them lying in a bookshop, surrounded by books on their favourite topics, and sheet music on Virgil’s side.
 “This is more difficult than I had imagined. Combining the interests of two people who have only just met is no easy task,” Logan sighed, dropping the pencil again and resting his chin on his hand.
 “No, I think we’re on to something, actually. I like the books. But what if we went back to the earlier idea with the galaxy and the constellations as well? Maybe have that pouring out of the pages?” Virgil suggested, sighing as his phone buzzed. Then buzzed again. And again. He sent a quick reply, setting it down on the table beside him, “My roommate. He’s on his way over. I kinda promised we’d have a pizza party and movie marathon tonight.”
 Logan huffed out a laugh, “I think our roommates would get along brilliantly. But your idea sounds incredibly interesting. Do you think you could come up with a sketch for next week?”
 Virgil nodded, “But, I mean, you could always just add me on Facebook? So I can send you the sketch and you can let me know what you think? Give me your phone and I’ll find myself.”
 “Oh, um, yes. Social media. That works too,” Logan fumbled in his pockets for his phone, unlocking it and bringing up the search bar of Facebook before passing it to Virgil, who sent himself a quick friend request and passed the phone back, glancing up first at Logan, then behind him at the doors.
 Virgil snorted, shaking his head and waving, and Logan turned to see a strikingly handsome young man in a white shirt – sleeves rolled up slightly like Virgil’s – a beige waistcoat, and dark navy jeans, a thin red scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. He excitedly held up two large pizza boxes, pointing frantically between them, Virgil, and himself. The psych student rolled his eyes, turning back to Logan, eyes widening at the pizza-wielding gentleman’s muffled shout of, “Disney!”
 “My roommate, Roman,” he explained, packing away his art supplies and quickly downing what was left of his coffee. “He’s a little… Eccentric? But he’s harmless, really. He’s roped me into watching a bunch of Disney classics, and no doubt I’ll get his rendition of each soundtrack in its entirety. If I survive the night, I’ll PM you.”
 “To his merit, pizza is more than a sufficient bribe,” Logan offered, passing Virgil his sketchbook and settling back down. “And thank you. For making this insidious task bearable. Enjoyable, even.”
 “Likewise, specs. I’ll see you around,” the purple haired boy zipped up his backpack, slinging it over one shoulder and rushing out the doors to greet his exuberant friend, clapping him on the back and leading him away.
 As Logan sat, sipping his coffee and trying to remember the names of his classmates from this morning’s astronomy lecture, his phone lit up with a notification from Facebook:
 “Virgil Black accepted your friend request.”
  Logan dropped his bag in his room, grabbing a pack of instant ramen and heading to the shared dormitory kitchen, an amazing smell filtering out into the hall, making his mouth water and stomach rumble. Whatever that was put his meal to shame.
 He peered around the door, eyes landing immediately on his roommate’s favourite long, grey cardigan. The other boy glanced up, eyes landing on Logan and a grin spreading across his face, “Logan! You’re late home. Did you stay at the library again to study ahead? Oh! I made you an omelette if you’d rather have that than the ramen?”
 Logan nodded thankfully, “Everything you cook smells incredible, Patton. Thank you.” He settled down at the table to wait, pulling out his phone to a notification from Virgil and opening it to see a short video of he and his roommate, the latter loudly singing along to ‘Let It Go’ as the former laughed and shook his head at him. “I didn’t stay late today, actually. Do you recall I mentioned that I had signed up for an art class?” Patton nodded. “Our first assignment is a paired task. And my partner is strangely… Tolerable. In fact, I might even say I enjoy his company.”
 A loud gasp and Patton froze halfway to the table, “You made a friend?!” he exclaimed, feet dancing slightly in uncontained excitement. Logan thought perhaps he and Roman would hit it off immediately. His roommate placed a plate and cutlery in front of him, settling in the seat in front, “Logan, are you telling me that you’re late because you were spending time, willingly, with another human being?”
 “Don’t sound so surprised, Pat. I spend time willingly with you, do I not? But to answer your question, yes. We may have stayed longer than the duration of our class, and we may not have gotten much work done,” Logan rolled his eyes, cutting into the omelette and sighing happily at the taste. He had lucked out in the roommate department, that was for sure.
 “I… Am so proud of you! There is much more to the college experience than grades, Logan. I’ll admit I was a little worried for a while there that you would let this whole time pass just locked away in the library or in our room,” Patton cut a chunk of his own omelette, continuing to speak through his mouthful, “Whas ‘is name?”
 Logan rolled his eyes, “Virgil. Psychology major. And I don’t spend all of my time in our room. I… Go for coffee as well. I go outside.”
 He glanced down at his phone. Another notification from Virgil. He opened the app to find a photo this time of Roman with his mouth full of pizza, trying and failing to block the camera with his hand. The caption read ‘the ego maniac in his natural habitat’, and Logan huffed out a laugh at that. He sensed eyes on him and looked up to find Patton leaning across the table, staring at him and grinning stupidly.
 “Soooo… Is he cute?” He asked, making grabby hands at Logan’s phone, “Let me see! Let me see the boy who can make my roommate laugh!”
 Logan rolled his eyes, bringing up Virgil’s profile and wondering if it would be weird to have a quick look through his photos. Well, Patton wanted to see him, and his profile picture was a darkened, edgy grayscale edit of himself sitting on a fence playing guitar. No purple hair in sight. Shifting to the seat next to Patton and bringing his food with him, he clicked on his photos. Patton grabbed the phone from his hands, flicking through some of the more recent ones, “Ohhh, I didn’t think punk guys were your type.”
 “Patton, may I just quickly point out that this man is not my love interest. He is my partner for one art project. And besides, I’m more interested in the people themselves, as opposed to what they look like,” he sighed, rubbing his temples as Patton continued flicking through the photographs. “Not to mention, even if I were interested-- Which I’m not! He’s barely an acquaintance. But even if I were, it’s likely he’s not even into guys.”
 Patton paused, turning the phone around, showing him one photo Roman had tagged him in, “Here’s a photo of him kissing Roman Prince at a party.”
 Logan blinked, staring in silence for a moment with raised eyebrows. Yes. They certainly were kissing. “Okay, I stand corrected. Wait. You know Roman?”
 The other nodded, “Of course! Who on campus doesn’t? He started last year. Theatre kid. Gets the lead in almost every show. Got arrested once for drunkenly stealing his prince outfit from the theatre department and singing in the streets at 4AM. Now we all call him Princey. It’s great. Funny guy.”
 “He got arrested?”
 Patton just waved a hand in dismissal, “I went to that party. It was fun,” he mused, staring at nothing for a moment before passing Logan his phone back and returning to his food, “This Virgil looks like a nice kid. Could be good for you, Logan. Get you out more.”
 “Whatever you say, Pat,” Logan scoffed, finishing his food and standing to wash his plate. He dried his hands and put the dish back in its cabinet before taking his phone out and sending Virgil another message:
 “Coffee tomorrow?”
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torontotravelblog · 5 years
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Toronto Travel Prep Guide
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Toronto, Canada can sometimes get confused with just another city, as it’s neither the capital nor the cultural favorite like Montreal. However, there’s so much more to it than skyscrapers! The neighborhoods like Kensington Market, Distillery District, Queen Street West, and Chinatown offer so many chances for exploration. The yearly Toronto International Film Festival is one of the city’s most popular events. Shops, ethnic eats, and street art all make Toronto a great destination for all types of travelers.
If we’ve left anything out or you’d like to join the conversation, please leave comments below!
Toronto Travel Expenses Tips
Toronto is a reasonably priced destination for travelers, especially when compared with other North American cities like New York or Miami. As long as you know how to cut corners, you’ll be able to get plenty of bang for your buck in Canada.
Enjoy the free attractions. You don’t have to spend a fortune to appreciate Toronto. For example, the street art that covers the city is completely free, as are the parks! Tour Guys offers a number of free tours of the city. The Art Gallery of Ontario has free admission on Wednesdays from 6:30 to 8:30 pm. The Bata Shoe Museum offers “pay what you like” admission on Thursdays from at 5 pm. The Scarborough Historical Museum also offers the same system every day.
Exploring Graffiti Alley in Toronto, Twirl the Globe
The Big List of Free Things to Do in Toronto, Frugal Mom Eh
Skip cabs and cars. Leave the car behind because you won’t need it unless you’re venturing out further. Public transportation is easy to use, including the metro, buses, and trams. If you’re trying to go even cheaper, there’s bike rentals. Toronto is also extremely walkable and doesn’t have too many hills. I had no trouble walking from the bus station to my hostel.
How to Get Around Toronto with Subway and Streetcars, For Two, Please
Stay in one of the neighborhoods. The advantages of staying outside of the Central Business District are many. Not only will you save some loonies, but you’ll also get to experience Toronto like a local. I recommend the Kensington Market area.
Exploring Toronto’s Kensington Market Neighbourhood: A Travel Guide, Brittany Thiessen
Essential Gear to Pack for Toronto
Pack for Toronto like you would just about any other big city. It certainly depends on the season, but summers are mild and winters can be extra chilly with snow. Learn how to pack light for cold weather travel.
Comfy shoes– If you plan on walking during most of your visit, which I recommend, be sure to bring comfortable walking shoes.
Light waterproof jacket– Not only is this good to have in case of a sudden rain storm, but it will also keep you from having to buy a cheap poncho at Niagara Falls!
Cash– Change over your money to use on public transportation. Cards are accepted just about everywhere else, but I didn’t have coins one night on the train and had to borrow.
What to Pack for Summer Activities in Eastern Canada, Tortuga Backpacks
Books to Read Before Visiting Toronto
There are a number of books set in the city of Toronto but not all reach national acclaim. But these are a good few to start with before your trip.
Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood– A controversial painter returns to her home city of Toronto for a retrospective of her work. While there, she remembers her childhood and friends. Grab a copy on Amazon.
Headhunter by Timothy Findley– A librarian is reading a book when a character jumps out of the page. She frantically searches the streets of Toronto in search of him before it’s too late. In the meantime, a number of children end up in institutes with the same disease. Grab a copy on Amazon.
The Killing Circle by Andrew Pyper– A failed novelist joins a writer’s group in hopes of finding inspiration. During this time, a serial killer is terrorizing Toronto. He listens to the tales of a fellow writer, which sound familiar to what’s going on in real life. Grab a copy on Amazon.
Consolation by Michael Redhill– Telling two stories at separate points in time in Toronto, a geology professor throws himself from a ferry and a young apothecary is struggling to make his life in a new country. Grab a copy on Amazon.
Lemon by Cordelia Strube– A high school girl named Lemon has a dysfunctional life and decides not to try and fit in any longer. Grab a copy on Amazon.
Movies to Watch Before Visiting Toronto
Fans of shows like Degrassi may know the skyline well, but the independent film scene is also thriving in Toronto.
Breakfast with Scot– Based on the novel of the same name, a gay retired hockey player lives with his sports lawyer partner in Toronto. Their lives are changed in when they take in his brother’s stepson. Grab a copy on Amazon.
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World– Another film based on a popular series, Michael Cera stars as Scott, who must battle the ex-boyfriends of the girl he likes in honor to win her heart. Grab a copy on Amazon.
This Beautiful City– The lives of four Toronto residents collide one night when a woman jumps from her window in a suicide attempt and runs into a couple trying to recover from addiction. Grab a copy on Amazon.
The F Word/What If– The film had different names in some countries, but it starred Daniel Radcliffe. He stars as a medical school dropout who falls in love with his best friend, who happens to be with her live-in boyfriend. Grab a copy on Amazon.
Top Things to Do in Toronto
Toronto has the most attractions and museums of any Canadian city, so you certainly won’t get bored. If you plan on visiting a number of them, get a CityPass or other combination pass. And don’t forget about the outdoors as well!
CN Tower– The most imposing structure in the Toronto skyline, go to the top for the best views or even a walk along the edge!
Niagara Falls– While not in Toronto proper, this easy day trip showcases the beautiful waterfall that straddles the American and Canadian borders.
St. Lawrence Market– This food hall predates the current trend, offering butchers, bakeries, and much more.
Casa Loma– Once a private home, this castle is now a museum and event space where you can see how the other half lives.
Hockey Hall of Fame– Sports fans will appreciate a trip to the museum devoted to Canada’s favorite pastime.
Centre Island– The island across the harbor from downtown has its own theme park and petting zoo, open seasonally.
Art Gallery of Ontario– This art museum’s collection includes works from Africa, Oceania, Europe, and, of course, Canada.
Bata Shoe Museum– It seems like an odd choice for a museum, but this one has four galleries of footwear ranging from ancient China to the modern day.
Royal Ontario Museum– Memorable exhibits at this museum include Chihuly glass, dinosaur fossils, and Egyptian mummies.
Tours– There’s a tour for every interest including street art, beer, history, and even pork. I recommend Urban Adventures and Tour Guys. Or search on Viator.
Caroline in the City Guide to Toronto, Caroline in the City
The Travelettes Guide to Toronto, Travelettes
Things to Do in Toronto, Canada, Y Travel Blog
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Where to Stay in Toronto
There’s an accommodations option for every price range, starting from the hostels and going up to luxury hotels.
Planet Traveler is a luxurious hostel with a rooftop patio, full kitchen, and computers for you to use.
The Drake Hotel is a chic boutique hotel in the heart of the hip Queen Street West district.
Thompson Toronto is a luxury hotel with the best rooftop pool in the city.
The Ivy at Verity is a boutique property with unique rooms, each different from the next.
AirBnB is another option, which is ideal for a more local experience and additional space.
What Not to Do in Toronto, Conde Nast Traveler
Food and Drink in Toronto
You may not think of Canada when it comes to well-known dishes, but you will certainly eat well in Toronto.
Poutine– Ah yes, a Canadian classic. The hand cut fries are topped in brown gravy and cheese curds and can be found all around town. Some varieties are standard while others are topped with pulled pork and other offbeat toppings.
Craft beer– Toronto has a surprising number of craft and local breweries like Steam Whistle, Left Field, and Granite breweries.
Caesar– Don’t call it a Bloody Mary! This Northern interpretation uses Clamato juice instead of tomato juice.
Butter tart– These tarts are totally decadent with butter and sugar in a pastry crust.
Anything at Tim Horton’s– You can’t go to Canada without stopping by this quintessential coffee shop for a cup and a doughnut.
My 10 Must Eats in Toronto, This Beautiful Day
Toronto: Where to Eat, Round the World Girl
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IV Vitamin Drip Therapy Toronto Clinic - The IV Lounge
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readbookywooks · 8 years
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In Which Phileas Fogg and Passepartout Accept Each Other, the One as Master, the Other As Man
Mr. Phileas Fogg lived, in 1872, at No. 7, Saville Row, Burlington Gardens, the house in which Sheridan died in 1814. He was one of the most noticeable members of the Reform Club, though he seemed always to avoid attracting attention; an enigmatical personage, about whom little was known, except that he was a polished man of the world. People said that he resembled Byron--at least that his head was Byronic; but he was a bearded, tranquil Byron, who might live on a thousand years without growing old.
Certainly an Englishman, it was more doubtful whether Phileas Fogg was a Londoner. He was never seen on 'Change, nor at the Bank, nor in the counting-rooms of the "City"; no ships ever came into London docks of which he was the owner; he had no public employment; he had never been entered at any of the Inns of Court, either at the Temple, or Lincoln's Inn, or Gray's Inn; nor had his voice ever resounded in the Court of Chancery, or in the Exchequer, or the Queen's Bench, or the Ecclesiastical Courts. He certainly was not a manufacturer; nor was he a merchant or a gentleman farmer. His name was strange to the scientific and learned societies, and he never was known to take part in the sage deliberations of the Royal Institution or the London Institution, the Artisan's Association, or the Institution of Arts and Sciences. He belonged, in fact, to none of the numerous societies which swarm in the English capital, from the Harmonic to that of the Entomologists, founded mainly for the purpose of abolishing pernicious insects.
Phileas Fogg was a member of the Reform, and that was all.
The way in which he got admission to this exclusive club was simple enough.
He was recommended by the Barings, with whom he had an open credit. His cheques were regularly paid at sight from his account current, which was always flush.
Was Phileas Fogg rich? Undoubtedly. But those who knew him best could not imagine how he had made his fortune, and Mr. Fogg was the last person to whom to apply for the information. He was not lavish, nor, on the contrary, avaricious; for, whenever he knew that money was needed for a noble, useful, or benevolent purpose, he supplied it quietly and sometimes anonymously. He was, in short, the least communicative of men. He talked very little, and seemed all the more mysterious for his taciturn manner. His daily habits were quite open to observation; but whatever he did was so exactly the same thing that he had always done before, that the wits of the curious were fairly puzzled.
Had he travelled? It was likely, for no one seemed to know the world more familiarly; there was no spot so secluded that he did not appear to have an intimate acquaintance with it. He often corrected, with a few clear words, the thousand conjectures advanced by members of the club as to lost and unheard-of travellers, pointing out the true probabilities, and seeming as if gifted with a sort of second sight, so often did events justify his predictions. He must have travelled everywhere, at least in the spirit.
It was at least certain that Phileas Fogg had not absented himself from London for many years. Those who were honoured by a better acquaintance with him than the rest, declared that nobody could pretend to have ever seen him anywhere else. His sole pastimes were reading the papers and playing whist. He often won at this game, which, as a silent one, harmonised with his nature; but his winnings never went into his purse, being reserved as a fund for his charities. Mr. Fogg played, not to win, but for the sake of playing. The game was in his eyes a contest, a struggle with a difficulty, yet a motionless, unwearying struggle, congenial to his tastes.
Phileas Fogg was not known to have either wife or children, which may happen to the most honest people; either relatives or near friends, which is certainly more unusual. He lived alone in his house in Saville Row, whither none penetrated. A single domestic sufficed to serve him. He breakfasted and dined at the club, at hours mathematically fixed, in the same room, at the same table, never taking his meals with other members, much less bringing a guest with him; and went home at exactly midnight, only to retire at once to bed. He never used the cosy chambers which the Reform provides for its favoured members. He passed ten hours out of the twenty-four in Saville Row, either in sleeping or making his toilet. When he chose to take a walk it was with a regular step in the entrance hall with its mosaic flooring, or in the circular gallery with its dome supported by twenty red porphyry Ionic columns, and illumined by blue painted windows. When he breakfasted or dined all the resources of the club--its kitchens and pantries, its buttery and dairy--aided to crowd his table with their most succulent stores; he was served by the gravest waiters, in dress coats, and shoes with swan-skin soles, who proffered the viands in special porcelain, and on the finest linen; club decanters, of a lost mould, contained his sherry, his port, and his cinnamon-spiced claret; while his beverages were refreshingly cooled with ice, brought at great cost from the American lakes.
If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.
The mansion in Saville Row, though not sumptuous, was exceedingly comfortable. The habits of its occupant were such as to demand but little from the sole domestic, but Phileas Fogg required him to be almost superhumanly prompt and regular. On this very 2nd of October he had dismissed James Forster, because that luckless youth had brought him shaving-water at eighty-four degrees Fahrenheit instead of eighty-six; and he was awaiting his successor, who was due at the house between eleven and half-past.
Phileas Fogg was seated squarely in his armchair, his feet close together like those of a grenadier on parade, his hands resting on his knees, his body straight, his head erect; he was steadily watching a complicated clock which indicated the hours, the minutes, the seconds, the days, the months, and the years. At exactly half-past eleven Mr. Fogg would, according to his daily habit, quit Saville Row, and repair to the Reform.
A rap at this moment sounded on the door of the cosy apartment where Phileas Fogg was seated, and James Forster, the dismissed servant, appeared.
"The new servant," said he.
A young man of thirty advanced and bowed.
"You are a Frenchman, I believe," asked Phileas Fogg, "and your name is John?"
"Jean, if monsieur pleases," replied the newcomer, "Jean Passepartout, a surname which has clung to me because I have a natural aptness for going out of one business into another. I believe I'm honest, monsieur, but, to be outspoken, I've had several trades. I've been an itinerant singer, a circus-rider, when I used to vault like Leotard, and dance on a rope like Blondin. Then I got to be a professor of gymnastics, so as to make better use of my talents; and then I was a sergeant fireman at Paris, and assisted at many a big fire. But I quitted France five years ago, and, wishing to taste the sweets of domestic life, took service as a valet here in England. Finding myself out of place, and hearing that Monsieur Phileas Fogg was the most exact and settled gentleman in the United Kingdom, I have come to monsieur in the hope of living with him a tranquil life, and forgetting even the name of Passepartout."
"Passepartout suits me," responded Mr. Fogg. "You are well recommended to me; I hear a good report of you. You know my conditions?"
"Yes, monsieur."
"Good! What time is it?"
"Twenty-two minutes after eleven," returned Passepartout, drawing an enormous silver watch from the depths of his pocket.
"You are too slow," said Mr. Fogg.
"Pardon me, monsieur, it is impossible--"
"You are four minutes too slow. No matter; it's enough to mention the error. Now from this moment, twenty-nine minutes after eleven, a.m., this Wednesday, 2nd October, you are in my service."
Phileas Fogg got up, took his hat in his left hand, put it on his head with an automatic motion, and went off without a word.
Passepartout heard the street door shut once; it was his new master going out. He heard it shut again; it was his predecessor, James Forster, departing in his turn. Passepartout remained alone in the house in Saville Row.
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simplyclockwork · 5 years
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Simplyclockwork’s Sherlock Fic Recs
This will be updated as I find and read more fics. I will make it accessible as a link on my blog if people want to follow.
This list is in no way exhaustive. 
Alternate Universe/Crossovers
Performance in a Leading Role - madlori
Explicit. 156,714 words. 21 chapters.
Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?
A Moment’s Surrender - anchors
Mature. 64,272 words. 10 chapters. 
Sherlock tours worldwide with the English National Ballet. John dances the Lindy Hop competitively all across the globe. That they would meet, then, by the slimmest of chances in one lonely city, is pure coincidence. The whole 'dancing together' bit is a little more planned. Dancer!AU.
Love or What You Will - miss_frankenstein
Teen and Up. 31,987 words. 11 chapters.
John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.
Two Two One Bravo Baker - abudantlyqueer
Explicit. 114,574 words. 27 chapters. 
Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John?
The Jewel in the Tower - PoppyAlexander
Explicit. 207,079 words. 39 chapters.
"Xie [...] had invented an entire pleasure-industry by combining superior visual aesthetics with impeccable personal attention. Drasha salons were by that time a feature of any even half-decent house of repose in every pleasure district in the British Isles, but once upon a time, when Xie debuted, there had been only one, and Xie had named it: the Icehouse."
* In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace--despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world's pleasure districts.
John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world's most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned "drashaskaya," the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled.
In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London's pleasure district. *
Modern-day dystopian/one-world government/espionage/geisha!lock AU
The Loss of Flesh and Soul - deuxexmycroft
Explicit. 60,000+ words. Unfinished.
Five years after John Watson puts the murderous Sherlock Holmes behind bars, a vicious copycat killer emerges. A reluctant John is pulled out of retirement to seek the expertise of the only man who can help, a man who has developed an unsettling obsession with John himself.
Crossover with Red Dragon/Silence of the Lambs
Simplyclockwork note: Not fully finished, but an alternative ending was posted. Still worth reading without a full ending.
I wake up and I wake up and you’re still dead - thisprettywren (memento/Sherlock crossover)
Mature. 24,226 words. One-shot.
Sherlock isn't the only one who's lost.
The Sinking of the Titanic: Sixty Years Later - flawedamythyst
Teen and Up. 15,340 words. One-shot. 
John Watson is interviewed for a documentary being made for the sixtieth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. The story he tells is not the one the interviewer was expecting.
The Bachelors’ Handfasting - Jberry
Explicit. 30,624 words. 20 chapters.
After her son is caught in a compromising position, Victoria Holmes must make arrangements for a quick marriage between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.
Simplyclockwork note: Kilt!Lock and Soft Bab Sherlock (but of age)
Just to Hold You Close - sussexbound
Explicit. 70,841 words. 18 chapters. 
When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.
Summit Fever - J_Baillier
Mature. 78,867 words. 18 chapters. 
After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I — the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains — shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?
The Last Companion - standbygo
Explicit. 34,101 words. 14 chapters.
Thirty years after the Miranda Wars, there is peace, both on the Rim and the Core planets. There are a number of old social mores still in place, such as the Order of Companions, but there is a sense that even such respected practices are coming to an end…
Sherlock is a Companion - the best Companion on Persephone. With a bit of detective work on the side, of course. Then he meets a man named John Watson, encounters a series of bizarre cases, and finds his world is getting turned upside down.
Simplyclockwork note: Sherlock/Firefly AU!
Out There - DiscordantWords
Teen and up. 131,695 words. 10 chapters.
FBI Special Agent John Watson, medical doctor and army veteran, is assigned to assist eccentric genius Sherlock Holmes with paranormal investigations on the X-Files project.
This is a fusion with The X-Files, written for the Fall TV Season Challenge.
Say You’ll Stay With Me - justacookieofacumberbatch (buffyholic)
Explicit. 63,349 words. 21 chapters.
It was just supposed to be an ordinary business trip, but when John's car stalls out on Hollywood Boulevard, he meets someone who just might change his life.
Simplyclockwork note: Pretty Woman/Sherlock AU.
Gimme Shelter - SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John
Explicit. 159,368 words. 21 chapters.
All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair.
That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition.
Apokalypsis - songlin
Mature. 12,125 words. 4 chapters.
There were things I never told you because I thought we had time. There is no time left in the world anymore.
Sensory Science - sussexbound
Explicit. 80,017 words. 24 chapters. 
John Watson has been invalided home from Afghanistan and is struggling with anxiety, depression, PTSD and insomnia, when an old friend from med school recommends something that might help: An ASMR YouTube Channel run by a friend.
One session in and John is hooked, not only by the way the ASMR seems to calm him after nightmares, and help him sleep, but also by the mysterious man who runs it.
Comparative Literature is for Idiots - lookupkate
Explicit. 8,173 words. 4 chapters.
Sherlock thinks he's very bohemian, smoking cigarettes and wearing patchouli oil and writing poetry in the attic. In truth he's just your average seventeen year old, not showering enough and being hit particularly hard by his continued path through puberty.
John is getting his masters in literature. He's the TA for comparative literature and yearns for romance. Romance has other plans, plans that require him to go without for at least ten more years. Plans that put in front of him the exact man he'll finally fall in love with, but in boy form.
When Sherlock happens to see John reading poetry at a coffee shop he is immediately smitten. John holds him at arm's length because he's a bloody child.
How will ten years and miles apart change that view, and will John be able to understand how he's fallen in love with someone he doesn't ever get to see?
Stay tuned for puberty hi jinx and the passing of time to find out. And yes, there will be love.
An Everlasting Inferno - thatawkwardfriend
Explicit. 108,389 words. 15 chapters.
Sherlock and John are both men who operate outside the law. John works for Mary and her hitmen in order to keep a roof over his head. Sherlock does anything his drug dealer asks of him in exchange for free drugs and housing.
They meet one night in a darkened garage to negotiate a deal. But they soon find out that neither of their bosses are being entirely honest with them about their goals or motives. With a little poking around, they stumble upon something much bigger than themselves and discover that perhaps, it might be in their best interests to work together.
(Loosely inspired by StartUp and Little Favour)
Only To Be With You - SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John
Mature. 40,768 words. 4 chapters.
I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black.
I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.
You Give Me Fever - michi_thekiller
Explicit. 16,122 words. One-shot.
Thou givest fever when we kisseth, fever with thy flaming youth Fever I'm afire; fever, yea, I burn forsooth "He's the kind of boy you want to take apart."
Gratuitous Greaserlock. It's essentially 16k of mostly-porn. Warnings for underage sex between teens.
OmegaVerse
The Gilded Cage - BeautifulFiction
Explicit. 326,887 words. 31 chapters.
In a world where Omegas are the property of the elite Alphas, locked away and treasured by those wealthy enough to buy them, John never questioned his flatmate's secondary gender. Sherlock Holmes was an Alpha through-and through.
Wasn't he?
A chance discovery turns the world on its head, and John is left grappling to come to terms with Sherlock's past as events conspire to threaten their future.
Relative Incandescence - orphan_account
Explicit. 35,486 words. One-shot. 
Two musical notes: Every parrot and every construction worker knows them. Shrill and salacious, so Sherlock will remember: You are on display. It’s supposed to be a compliment. Supposed to make him feel good, that they have laboured to remind him.
It makes him feel like a package of meat, set down into the cooler, raw and waiting to eaten.
Supernatural/Fantasy/Magical Realism
Graceless - Belladonna_Q
Mature. 1,296 words. One-shot.
He spins and throws blindly, and another soft whump, that comforting scent of home vaporizing before him. A single raven coloured feather seasaws through the air.
“God damn you, Sherlock!” He shouts, he screams, and there’s nothing in the space he can strike. Nothing he can grab and heave into the darkness.
Beneath the Silver Moon - SailorChibi
Explicit. 85, 993 words. 73 chapters. 
After being bitten in Afghanistan, John was invalided home. Being a werewolf was new to him, and he wasn't interested in any of the help or orientation that the Centre had to offer, but even his wolf knew better than to enter territory that had been marked. Until his first outside change, when he met a strange alpha wolf that wanted John to follow it home into pack territory. John's initial refusal became a challenge for the curious alpha... one Sherlock Holmes.
All Things Inherit - BeautifulFiction (@the-pen-pot​)
Explicit. 53,682 words. 6 chapters. 
"For John, it's not a bullet that throws his existence into disarray – it's a bite."
In a world where twelve percent of the population are Mactiri - people with the ability to turn into wolves at will - John finds himself struggling with a new and horrifying existence. The victim of a shocking attack, he is discharged from the army and sent home, determined never to acknowledge what he can now become.
However, when his health starts to fail, it is up to his enigmatic new flatmate to show him that perhaps his life is not the nightmare John believes it to be.
Inexplicable - emmagrant01
Explicit. 34,664 words. 6 chapters.
So what was in that matchbox, anyway? John and Sherlock find out, the hard way.
Simplyclockwork note: this fic ripped my heart out in the best way.
Riptide Lover - jinglebell
Explicit. 114,090 words. 20 chapters.
The year is 1866. When John becomes swept overboard, he never expects to encounter a living creature of myth. When the merman absconds with John, the lost sailor must use every tool at his disposal to convince Sherlock not to kill him. But it seems that killing John Watson is not what the deadly, beautiful creature has in mind at all...
Victorian mermaid AU. Heed the tags. Complete!
John Watson’s Moon - patternofdefiance
Explicit. 11,314 words. One-shot
“You’ll let me see it, of course.”
It takes John no time at all to realize what is being asked, to stiffen with indignation, but he asks, “See what?” nonetheless.
The look those grey-green eyes level at him says please don’t actually be that stupid far more eloquently than should be possible. “You are loup garou, recently infected under traumatic circumstances and subsequently discharged from military service, most likely from a post in Afghanistan or Iraq. Your wounds would have healed with the passing of the initial fever, so whatever lingering effects you are suffering are likely psychosomatic – and severe enough to bar you from the one occupation where being a ruthless hunter is seen as a qualification rather than a detriment.” Those eyes flick back up from their cataloguing of John’s limbs and body to meet his eyes. “When I say you’ll let me see it, I am then, of course, referring to your wolf form.”
“And why would I do that?”
“Potential flatmates should know the worst about one another.”
Hellfire - PrettyArbitrary
Teen and up. 2,966 words. One-shot.
John learns, with clawing, bloody slowness, how to fend for himself. He learns the capacity to love wasn’t taken from him, or the need for it. He learns what it is to starve. To need things that aren’t given to him.
A prequel to Graceless.
Full Moon - sommerprosson
Explicit. 5,151 words. One-shot.
Sherlock rather wishes the man hadn’t woken. Now, he has to talk to him before he bites his throat during the night.
Tedious.
The Curious Wine - songlin
Explicit. 15,095 words. 8 chapters.
"I want to watch you kill, because I want to see you lose that tiresome battle against your baser instincts. I want to drink from you, enough that you go weak and breathless and can’t stand properly, but I don’t want to kill you, because then you’ll be gone and the thought of never being surprised by you ever again makes me want to go naked into the sunlight and wait until it burns me into ash."
Blue Blood - You_Light_The_Sky
Teen and up. 963 words. One-shot.
"I know you're here," John shouts into the darkness.
The Autumn Moon is Bright - barrowjane
Mature. 23,935words. 3 chapters.
John has two secrets he keeps from Sherlock - he manages this, he thinks, only because Sherlock would find the idea that John is attracted to him just as unlikely as the idea of John being a werewolf. He's not sure what it says about his life, that love and lycanthropy are considered equally impossible events.
The Stars Move Still - BeautifulFiction (@the-pen-pot​)
Explicit. 96,022 words. 5 chapters.
"What could I want so desperately that would make me sell my soul? What could possibly compel me to surrender the part of myself that makes me who I am: the source of my magic, my self-control, everything?"
Say That Again, But In English This Time - janonny
Explicit. 15,842 words. One-shot. 
Lestrade was calling about a new murder, Sherlock was acting strange even for a consulting detective-werewolf, and John was missing blood from the fridge. Just another day in John’s life. (Alternate Universe where Sherlock is a werewolf, and John is a vampire. Everything else is exactly the same.
Darkling, I Listen - You_Light_The_Sky
Teen and up. 73,254 words. 8 chapters.
No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse...
The Bite - Laur
Explicit. 48, 214 words. 16 chapters.
Sherlock gets it wrong.
Days, months, even years in the future, Sherlock’s oversight during the Baskerville case will continue to torment him, but nothing about that night will ever be as painfully vivid as the memory of John’s screams.
This is how it begins.
Dark!Sherlock/Dark!John 
Hollow Hands Cling series - misanthropyray
Explicit. 17,718 words. 2 works.
Written for a prompt on the kinkmeme: "John breaks up with Sherlock and moves out of Baker Street. Hurt, angry, and heartbroken, Sherlock implicates him in a murder."
The Most Dangerous Game - gestalt1/chi-chi-chimaera
Explicit. 26,179 words. One-shot.
Written for a prompt on BBC Sherlock Kink Meme : I'd really like to see some secret!serial-killer!Sherlock, either because he's finally gotten bored of solving regular crimes, or he's been doing this all along and framing other people for it.
Extra Dark!Watson would be much appreciated. Maybe he's just seen so many people killed, and killed himself, that it no longer feels like much to be concerned about.
Skinful Canvas - You_Light_The_Sky
Teen and Up. 9,360 words. One-shot.
A person’s sins gets marked on their skin in such beautiful ways. Sherlock has no such marks and yet his hands are the bloodiest of all. He would so like to mark John in etchings of his own… Serial-Killer!Sherlock
Training Dr. John Watson - angelblack3
Explicit. 57,917 words. 30 chapters.
In this universe, Jim got a hold of Sherlock way before he ever met the ones that were meant to save him. Now, they're happy business partners. Though, according to Jim, Sherlock isn't nearly as happy as he could be. He should find someone like Jim found his dear pet Sebby. Sherlock is skeptical, until he finds an army doctor with a psychosomatic limp in a twisted sense of fate.
Simplyclockwork note: Very, very dark. Rape and non-con. Read the tags! 
Post-Reichenbach
One Day at a Time Series - KeelieThompson1
Mature. 35,137 words. 2 works.
Sherlock always had an influence on John, so when he "dies" and John finds his secret stash of cocaine, one thing leads to another. And John is far too proud to admit just how far he is falling or ask for help. Afterall, who is there left that he can really ask?
The Burning Heart - May_Shepard
Mature. 119,150 words. 21 chapters.
When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men.
Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.
The Quiet Man - ivyblossom
Explicit. 157,369 words. 58 chapters.
"Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"
Ford - theshopislocal
Mature. 31,744 words. 5 chapters.
He turns back round then and looks down at me, eyes curious. “Your name, W.S.S. Holmes.” That’s not my name. “Is it Walter? Or Wilbur? Maybe something really awful like, er,” he smiles wryly, “Willoughby? Winchester?”
I feel my face go blank as my body numbs over. “Scott,” I say, voice devoid of emotion. “My name is Scott.”
The Imposter - PoppyAlexander
Mature. 9,802 words. One-shot.
Sherlock has been rescued by his brother and is ready to reclaim his life, his work, and--of course--John Watson.
But John Watson let it all slide in the wake of Sherlock Holmes' death and is living on the streets, drinking, dissociated from his previous life and even from his own name.
Sherlock will have to convince him that he really *is* Sherlock Holmes.
Synapses - theshopislocal
Explicit. 52,725 words. 9 chapters.
“Thrice.”
“Yes.”
John blinks. Shakes his head. Blinks again. “Thhhhrice.”
“Yes.”
Is my mouth moving right n- “Thrice in your entire life?”
“Yess, John,” Sherlock growls, hissing like a snake grabbed by the tail. “Thrice, three times, twice more than once and once more than twice, a veritable triptych of onanism. Thrice.”
Of Nightmares and Memories - @annecumberbatch
Not-Rated. 220 words. One-shot.
Stream of consciousness poem of fragmented thoughts after Sherlock leapt to his death and John tries to continue life without him. -------------
I grab at a stranger
Pulling them out of their life
Trying to pull you back into mine
It left me with empty hands
Ten Days - @engazed
Explicit. 137,212 words. 31 chapters. 
Sherlock Holmes has been dead for forty months, and John is at last beginning to live his life again. But just when he believes he might be happy, his world crashes back down around him.
John is named a missing person. Someone is pointing DI Lestrade in the wrong direction. And as the days pass, his situation only grows more dire. It seems like the disappearance of his best friend is the only thing that can bring Sherlock Holmes back from the dead.
Simplyclockwork note: Intense torture and non-con. Read the tags!
Slow Burn/Pining/Unrequited Love
Drawn to Stars - silvergirl
Explicit. 100,000+ words. 56 chapters.
“Romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people—” “—would complete you as a human being.”
After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being.
Thermodynamics series - entanglednow 
Teen and Up. 16,300 words. 4 works. 
In which there's no heating and there's a dead owl in Sherlock's bed.
the knife I turn inside myself - polyommatusblues
Explicit. 11,307 words. One-shot.
There are a million parallel universes out there in which Sherlock and John are happy—universes in which Sherlock never jumped, John never married, and things never went to hell. Sherlock knows that this is not one of universes. It could have been, he imagines, but it’s not.
They make do.
Ease Your Way into Occupied Spaces - joolabee
Explicit. 11,091 words. One-shot.
One thing’s certain: this wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen.
The Real Meaning of Idioms - feverishsea
Teen and Up. 21,691 words. 13 chapters.
After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn't expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn't expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn't expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.
The Symposium - orphan_account
Explicit. 2,542 words. One-shot.
"You're going to regret this," Sherlock manages while John sucks on his neck, "Whatever you're doing, I'm not going to stop you, and you'll regret it." He doesn't want to be that, some guilty secret John carries about. Sherlock might not have much in the way of qualms in general, but he does have some standards.
"I'll just add it to the list then, shall I?" John's voice is rueful, bitter.
White Knight - discordantwords
Mature. 69,840 words. 13 chapters.
Green.
The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience.
Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it.
Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.
The Progress of Sherlock Holmes - ivyblossom
Explicit. 62,006 words. 25 chapters.
“I had,” he said, “come to an entirely erroneous conclusion, my dear Watson, how dangerous it always is to reason from insufficient data.”
-- Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventure of the Speckled Band
Angst/Hurt and Comfort/Sick Fics
The Vapor Variant - 88th Parallel (CanadaHolm)
Mature. 72,684 words. 18 chapters. 
They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril.
They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear.
Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”
Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods.
Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.
kiss me on the mouth & set me free (but please don’t bite) - crysanthemumsies
Explicit. 18,743 words. 6 chapters.
Five times John got drunk and slept with Sherlock, and the one time Sherlock got drunk and couldn't do the same.
Control, Alt, Delete - MirithGriffin
Explicit. 75,196 words. 28 chapters.
If you could delete everything except what was really important, would you? Sherlock and John explore the question and each other. 
Lacuna - coloredink
Explicit. 15,607 words. One-shot.
God, it must have been terrible, to think that he would never have this again.
Second Waltz - Atiki
Teen and up. 6,685 words. One-shot.
"The night I died, you wished I could wait for you."
The Haunting of 221B Baker Street - earlgreytea68
Mature. 10,388 words. 2 chapters.
In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.
Warm Me Up - halloa_what_is_this
General audiences. 5,357 words. One-shot.
For days, it’s like living with a sick toddler craving for attention and entertainment. Sherlock stays close to John the whole time, climbs on top of him or next to him every time he sits or lies down and sleeps with his head buried in his stomach every night.
This Time No (Forgiveness) - AtlinMerrick
Explict. 29,464 words. 11 chapters.
It was Sherlock's fault. It usually is. And though he'll ask forgiveness for what he's done, for the very first time John will say, 'This time no, Sherlock. This time, never.' And maybe, just maybe, John Watson is going to mean it.
Electric Pink Hand Grenade - BeautifulFiction
Explicit. 67,718 words. 13 chapters.
"If Sherlock's brain is a hard drive, then these attacks are an electro-magnetic pulse." Sherlock Holmes does not do anything by half, not even a migraine. It falls to John to witness one of the greatest minds he has ever known tear itself apart, and he must do his best to help Sherlock pick up the pieces.
Already Gone - AnneCumberbatch
Explicit. 3,649 words. 7 chapters.
“Sherlock…” John smoothed Sherlock’s shirt out over his chest. “I’m not a good man. I’m not.” “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, John.” Sherlock shifted his hands to hold onto John’s shoulders. “I think you give me too much.” “John…” Sherlock ducked his head towards John and stopped, hovering above John’s lips. “Please. Kiss me again.”
Emails from the War Zone - trajektoria
Mature. 1,872 words. One-shot.
John returns to Afghanistan for a month to be an army doctor once again and Sherlock is left alone in the flat. The only contact the men have with each other is via emails. Sometimes it's easier to write something than to tell it face-to-face...
carrying up his morning tea - darcylindbergh
Explicit. 34,504 words. 5 chapters.
His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.
You Have Drawn Red From My Hands - J_Baillier 
Teen and up. 67,085 words. 17 chapters.
John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.
Alone on the Water - Mad_Lori
General Audiences. 7,725 words. One-shot.
Sherlock Holmes never expected to live a long life, but he never imagined that it would end like this.
Simplyclockwork note: This fic has Major Character Death in it.
The Wisteria Tree - SilentAuror
Explicit. 29,773 words. One-shot.
Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...
Without Words - allonsys_girl
Explicit. 12,492 words. One-shot.
John and Sherlock have been together for six months and Sherlock still hasn't said "I love you". Then John gets hurt, and Sherlock expresses how much John really means to him.
When a Man is Wrong - plantsareneat 
Mature. 70,000+ words. Incomplete. 
After the events of The Lying Detective, John and Sherlock attempt to rebuild their friendship, and John struggles with life as a single father. He discovers he is not fully in control of his anger and behavior, and spirals into depression. Follows John through this dark period, and through the healing process he needs to make both for himself and for Sherlock, who has stood by him throughout.
Author Note: *Trigger Warning: pretty graphic depiction of deep depression and suicidal thoughts, including a (non-successful) attempt. Later part of the story follows a hospitalization and healing process coupled with developing/realized romance. Please take care of yourself, dear reader; if this subject is triggering for you, choose another story!
Simplyclockwork note: incomplete but still actively being worked on I believe, very worth the read even unfinished.
Open Your Eyes - AnneCumberbatch
Mature. 4,385 words. 6 chapters.
Sometimes you don't know what you could have had until you lose it.
Winner of the Fall 2019 #keepjohnlockalivecompetition by sherlockswolmes on Tumblr
The Heart in the Whole - verityburns
Explicit. 101,650 words. 21 chapters.
Events after 'The Great Game' leave Sherlock dependent on his best friend and colleague. But John has a secret of his own...
The Emergency Contact Series - blueink3
Mature. 11,763 words. 2 works.
The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job.
Rebuilding Rome - SilentAuror
Explicit. 94,000 words. 15 chapters.
When a case unexpectedly forces John to acknowledge some difficult truths about himself and his life, he spirals downward, leaving Sherlock to do his best to rescue him from his own darkness and somehow try to build something new on broken foundations.
Radioactive Trees in a Red Forest - Maribor_Petrichor 
Explicit. 280,226 words. 73 chapters. 
John Watson is what happens when a man can no longer see a reason to go on.
John Watson is what happens when a man starts to let go.
"It is what it is."
John Watson is what happens when what "it is" becomes too much to bear.
This is a story of the life, death, and resurrection of John Hamish Watson.
Sink Like a Stone - pennydreadful
Teen and Up. 4,348 words. One-shot.
After defeating Moriarty at the pool, life isn't quite the same around 221B Baker Street...it's more peaceful. And stranger.
Dissolution: Our Plague Days - PoppyAlexander
Teen and up. 6,663 words. One-shot.
The bees have been dying for years. A mysterious pandemic has the people of Great Britain quarantined and terrified. Sherlock's solved it; now John must save them.
Evidence of Human Life - thesardine 
Explicit. 16,906 words. One-shot.
Sherlock's sanity deteriorates while he and John are stranded on a deserted island.
Canon Divergent/Fix-It Fics
The Internet is Not Just for Porn - cyerus
General Audiences. 1911 words. One-shot.
John is Sherlock's internet boyfriend - from CANADA.
No one thinks he's real.
Nature and Nurture - @earlgreytea68
Mature. 203,273 words. 57 chapters. 
The British Government accidentally clones Sherlock Holmes. Which brings a baby to 221B Baker Street.
Of Course I Forgive You - allonsys_girl
Explicit. 10,735 words. One-shot.
What if things had gone differently on that train car?
The Pieces That Fall to Earth - Itsallfine
Mature. 49,513 words. 84 chapters. 
John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most.
An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete.
The Unfinished Letters - SilentAuror
Explicit. 37,391 words. One-shot.
A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...
Don’t Leave Anything Out - lookupkate
Explicit. 27,422 words. 24 Chapters.
The first letter John writes home from Afghanistan is meant to go to a woman he went on only one date with. How it ends up in Sherlock's hands is completely innocent. What happens next is not.
What do you do when you find out the person you're in love with has been lying about something as monumental as who they are?
What do you do when you're the one who lied?
How on earth do you put the pieces back together?
Equilibrium - augustbird
Mature. 12,351 words. One-shot.
At Baskerville, John is infected by a virus that turns him into a genius. But when the infection progresses into neurodegeneration, it's a race against time to save himself. Flowers for Algernon fusion.
He’s Not Paid Enough to Deal With This Shit - janonny
Teen and Up. 9,829 words. One-shot.
One of the first things John did was to write up step-by-step instructions on how to conduct a proper job interview before handing it over to Mycroft for his perusal. There were no kidnapping, deserted car parks or stolen therapy notes anywhere on that list.
(Or the one where John returned from the war and ended up working for Mycroft as his personal assistant slash doctor on retainer. Everything was fine, until he was sent to post bail for one Sherlock Holmes.
Play for Me - orphan_account
Explicit. 6,105 words. One-shot.
"John had shown up at Baker Street only one day prior, an army duffle slung over his shoulder, the expression on his face like a cracked and ruptured fault line. Sherlock stood aside, holding open the door, and let John ascend the stairs in silence, asking nothing of Mary, asking nothing at all."
The Bee Charmer - dreadpiratewatson
Mature. 3,314 words. One-shot.
Greg goes to 221B to check up on Sherlock after a strange phone call pulls him away from an important case, and is stunned to find himself in front of a gun brandishing soldier with a sleeping Sherlock on his chest.
John Watson is a doctor, a war hero, a husband, and the only one in the world who can soften Sherlock's heart.
Whisper Game - astudyinrose
Explicit. 11,705 words. One-shot. 
John is on his stag night at a gay club a few weeks before he ships out to Afghanistan…when he meets Sherlock Holmes.
Wild Nights, Wild Nights - cassy1
Mature. 32,047 words. 15 chapters. 
If Sherlock had never met John, would he still be on the side of the angels? On his return from Afghanistan, John takes a job working the night shift at a high secure psychiatric hospital, but when the infamous criminal mastermind Sherlock Holmes is admitted as a patient, John begins to suspect that all is not as it seems.
Gone is My Past - cyerus
Teen and Up. 7,800 words. One-shot
John is an army bomb detection dog who has been turned into a human. Angst. No, really, angst.
Illusory Correlation and Confirmation Bias - VanillaBroompolish
General Audiences. 10,448 words. 6 chapters. 
Looking back, there were a few things that should’ve tipped Greg off long before that night at the pub. A few things Sherlock left fairly obvious, that on reflection, made Greg question how he’d gotten his job in the first place.
Unilock/Teenlock
The Awakening - Popcornjones
Explicit. 34,166 words. 9 chapters.
Sherlock is a University student and he's in trouble - good thing a handsome rugby player comes along...
Unilock with a twist.
Simplyclockwork note: this is a really complex fic. It’s unilock, and canon-divergent, and angst, and there’s brief major character death that isn’t permanent. Read the tags! 
Up to Speed - prettysailorsoldier
Explicit. 13,364 words. One-shot.
John doesn't know what he did to deserve this, but, whatever it takes to atone for it, he is more than willing to try, because, if he has to spend one more second with Sherlock Holmes, he might spontaneously combust. Or strangle him. He's currently undecided.
Feeling Seen - jadztone
Explicit. 30,177 words. 9 chapters. 
Rugby player John is starting over at a new university, with the help of friends Molly and Bill. Few people know that John is demisexual, but ballet dancer Sherlock Holmes deduces right away that he has no interest in sex unless he’s fallen in love. John finds this strange genius intriguing and would like to get to know him, but Sherlock has a self-cultivated reputation for only wanting casual sex. John has reason to believe that’s not really true, but he’s not sure he wants to risk his twice-fractured heart to find out.
Invite Me Over - testosterone_tea 
Explicit. 8,443 words. One-shot.
Sherlock lives in a crappy, run-down flat during his grad studies in chemistry when an attractive med student moves in next door. Unilock.
Happy Little Accidents - weneedtotalkaboutsherlock (Paradoxe1914)
Explicit. WIP. 
John had never really thought about art before the man dropped his dressing gown to the ground. Even then, art took a moment to manifest itself in John's mind, for his thoughts had gone as bare as the model in front of his seat: entirely. 
Transition Game - emmagrant01
Explicit. 33,258 words. One-shot.
Sherlock Holmes is a chemistry grad student and a TA for Dr. Stamford’s Forensic chem course at Greenview State University. One fall semester, John Watson, captain of the hockey team, takes that course. (Unilock + hockey AU)
You’re On the Air - prettysailorsoldier
Mature. 20,616 words. One-shot.
The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson?
Let me Touch you (The First Summer) - Shay_Fae
Mature. 18,536 words. 14 chapters.
Seventeen-year-old John is spending the summer at Sherlock's country house. Sherlock can't imagine anything worse.
Especially since he may be falling in love with the boy
Case Fics
Midnight Blue Serenity - Beautiful Fiction
Explicit. 151,907 words. 19 chapters.
“This was like nothing John had ever thought to associate with Sherlock: stubble, skin-tight jeans and three small silver rings gleaming at the crest of one ear. It was unbelievable, like stepping into an alternative universe, and John couldn't stop staring.”
When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate's charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim? (Warning: reviews may contain fic spoilers)
The Thing Is - TSylvestris
Explicit. 56,743 words. 21 chapters.
The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed.
Smut 
To a Tee - lookupkate
Explicit. 15,321. 14 chapters.
Sherlock receives a text from an unknown number. The man is under the impression that he needs a sugar daddy. After careful consideration...well, he could be right.
Coin to Travel Twice - entanglednow
Mature. 1,997 words. One-shot.
"I don't think I've ever seen anyone pretending to be dead with such relish before."
Closer - michi_thekiller
Explicit. 8,516 words. One-shot.
You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you "Sherlock cupped John's face between his trembling hands, the two of them so close together that they shared the same breath. Oxygen and carbon dioxide passed from one set of lungs to another, and he couldn't hear over the pounding of his own heart, and he said, 'I need you.'"
Pentadione, Damascenone, Furanone, Vanillin - peevee
Mature, 2,242 words. One-shot.
Sherlock takes his work very seriously, whatever the job.
Every morning he catalogues. He wants to distill the very scent of John’s skin, his hair, his sweat.
Whisper Game - astudyinrose
Explicit. 11,705 words. One-shot.
John is on his stag night at a gay club a few weeks before he ships out to Afghanistan…when he meets Sherlock Holmes.
Curious Case - Cleo2010
Explicit. 44,653 words. 11 chapters.
After burning his hands, Sherlock's unable to release his 'tension' in the usual manner. Who should he turn to? His totally, completely straight friend and flatmate who's totally not into Sherlock or his boy parts at all. Definitely.
Just a bit of fun that's PWP with a hint of plot, all the way through.
Exquisite - SoftTae
Explicit. 4,755 words. One-shot.
Sherlock and John have been together for a while now, but everytime they get start to get intimate, Sherlock pulls away. What happens when Sherlock stays and John finds out his secret?
Say My Name - mistyzeo
Explicit. 2,611 words. One-shot.
John Watson, my dear partner, faithful friend, eternal confidante, and enthusiastic lover, is the quietest man in bed I have ever known. ACD.
Best of Three - SilentAuror
Explicit. 17,473 words. One-shot.
“You want to have sex with me,” Sherlock announces one evening about a year after John's divorce. John's vigorous denial sparks a three-day wager wherein Sherlock is determined to prove his point, and John is determined to hold onto his heterosexuality. Set well after HLV. (Canon-compliant). PORN. With feels.
Distractions - allonsys_girl
Explicit. 9,677 words. One-shot.
Sherlock's on a stakeout and John's very pretty - distractions ensue
High Voltage - thedeadparrot
Explicit. 2,018 words. One-shot.
John. Sherlock. A gay club.
Not Your Doctor, Not Your Captain - weneedtotalkaboutsherlock 
Explicit. 8,645 words. One-shot.
Daddy Doctor John/Barista Sherlock 
In So Many Words - Mazarin221B
Explicit. 2,613 words. One-shot.
Wine and a post-case high lead to some an interesting conversation and even more of an interesting night.
Oh God, oh God, he should say no, he should, but Sherlock is intense and aroused and John hasn’t been laid in months, too damn busy cocking about with Sherlock and brandishing a weapon with enthusiasm. Oh, fuck it. “Yes. Christ yes,” he says, and the words are lost against Sherlock’s mouth.
In Good Hands - penumbra
Explicit. 1,619 words. One-shot.
John gives Sherlock a hand. 
Nothing ever happens to me - PlainJane
Explicit. 5,575 words. One-shot.
John Watson is a very bored member of the UK Border Agency, assigned to Heathrow. Sherlock Holmes is a very rude passenger who smells pretty interesting to the sniffer dogs. Someone needs to be searched...
I Think It’s A Dare, Johnny - lookupkate
Explicit. 2,110 words. One-shot.
John gets teased by his army buddies on his 40th birthday. They dare him to try to bed a much younger man at the bar. Seeeeeexxxxxxxx.
Best Seat in the House - wendymarlowe
Explicit. 5,014 words. 3 chapters.
AU where John gets a new job bartending at a gay nightclub. He takes the job for the money, but he keeps at it because he loves watching Sherlock dance. Until one night, when Sherlock suggests they make it something rather more.
The Perfect Specimen - Cleo2010
Explicit. 16,066 words. One-shot.
After seeing John undressed for the first time and making certain observations, Sherlock quickly becomes obsessed with a certain body part belonging to his flatmate. This is the story of how that first sighting came to be and the following attempts to learn more. An unashamed masturbation-fest, first person and very detailed. It's rated explicit for a good reason!
Evening Ride - LapisLazuli
Explicit. 8,832 words. One-shot.
John has a series of unexpected meetings with a stranger on the Tube.
Just Browsing - bendingsignpost
Explicit. 3,869 words. One-shot.
“I’m a good kisser,” John says.
Another eye roll. “Everyone thinks that.”
“Everyone? Blimey, someone’s been kissing and telling. Had no idea I was so famous.”
Sandy Toes and Chafed Arseholes - CatieBrie
Mature. 5,506 words. One-shot.
And it all would have gone great, John getting a leg over and Sherlock being the devious whatever it was he was being but they had forgotten one disastrous component of sex on the beach.
The sand.
Or: A cautionary tale against sex on the beach
Perchance to Dream - dorothydonne
Explicit. 7,213 words. One-shot.
Sherlock has been the voyeur to people's dreams for as long as he can remember. It's why he hates sleeping.
That is, until he stumbles into one of John Watson's dreams. Then suddenly sleep isn't so unwelcome.
Fake Relationship(s)
Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles An Hour - what_alchemy
Explicit. 30,568 words. 5 chapters.
“You love your mother, Sherlock?”
John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk.
“Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”
Reunited - write_for_your_life
Teen and up. 10,880 words. 11 chapters.
Sherlock wants to go to his high school reunion, but needs someone to pretend to be his spouse to attend.
His not-so-platonic flatmate is more than happy to play along.
Funny/Crack/Weird
Revolting Resolutions - PatPrecieux
Mature. 2,793 words. One-shot.
Resolutions for the new year are a good thing EXCEPT when Sherlock is the one making them.
Sherlock Discovers Smarter Investing - buttsnax
Explicit. 1,057 words. One-shot.
John is worried about his financial future, and why shouldn't he be? Like millions of others he finds the treacherous landscape of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds overwhelming to navigate. Fortunately for John, Sherlock--with the help of Morgan Stanley Financial Services--is there to show him the way in the only manner he knows how: with his big, throbbing cock.
The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition - patternofdefiance
Explicit. 9,020 words. 7 chapters.
What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it's for a case. Of course it doesn't stay that way.
Survey Says - involuntaryorange
General audiences. 9,048 words. 9 chapters.
Sherlock, John, Mycroft, Lestrade, and Mrs. Hudson wind up competing as a team on Family Feud. Somehow.
Pranking Sherlock - Random_Nexus
General audiences. 600 words. One-shot.
Sherlock's rudeness about interruptions prompts a reprisal from John.
Dear Umbrella - Jberry
Explicit. 13,027 words. 63 chapters.
Mycroft Holmes has a crush on Greg Lestrade, but he thinks it won't be reciprocated. He joins an anonymous dating website. His handle is limo_to_the_prostate. He starts chatting with Umbrella. Not realizing that Umbrella is really Greg Lestrade.
Obvious; Or, Greg Lestrade is Good At Detecting and Has Five Pounds to One That Sherlock and John Will Shag - the_arc5
Teen and up. 2,269 words. One-shot.
Lestrade isn't the reasoning machine Sherlock is, but that doesn't mean he's blind. And it's obvious to him, if nobody else, that a certain dynamic duo could use a nudge in the right direction.
Boat Chase! - shamelessmash
General audiences. 14,347 words. 6 chapters.
Sherlock, John and Lestrade are on a case that lead them to Brooklyn, NY. Reluctantly, Sherlock accepts the 99th precincts offer to help with the legwork.
Welcome to this Sherlock/Brooklyn 99 crossover, where everyone ships Johnlock, and the case doesn't matter.
I Just Had Sex - pennydreadful
Teen and up. 916 words. One-shot.
Sherlock just had sex and he's going to make sure everyone knows.
He Who Watches - buttsnax
Not Rated. 4,272 words. One-shot.
"The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!" (Matthew 6:22-23)
Simplyclockwork note: this fic is WEIRD, and funny, and dark. 
Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things - cyerus
Mature. 5,581 words. One-shot.
The explanation for John "Three Continents" Watson? Jack Harkness is his father.
Sherlock doesn't know whether he's going to die from jealousy or sexual frustration first.
Fluff
Five Times Sherlock Holmes and John Watson Hugged, and One Time They Didn’t - longwhitecoats
Unrated. 2,746 words. One-shot.
They're sitting in the living room one night after finishing their curry takeaway when Sherlock looks up from his violin. "John," he says, "would you come hug me, please?"
Quiet - orphaned_account
Teen and up. 4,026 words. One-shot.
"It all comes down to this. John knows Sherlock. Not in his details but in his entirety."
Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates - testosterone_tea
Teen and Up. 5,053 words. One-shot.
5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John's bed, and the one time he didn't need one.
subtleties that we are not aware of - belovedmuerto
Teen and up. 1,657 words. One-shot.
The first time Sherlock kisses John; the first (and second) time(s) John kisses Sherlock.
But Love Is A Voice On The Wind - Snow
Mature. 1,832 words. One-shot.
From the prompt: Sherlock keeps getting texts from Mycroft with tips on wooing John.
"Take his arm. MH"/"Tell him about the sugar cubes. MH"/"Let him catch you looking once in a while. MH"
Sherlock resents this (I don't need your HELP, Mycroft), but does them anyway.
Other Pairings & M/M/M
Joltolock
Sherlock Holmes Has Two Soldier Boyfriends Series - greyscalemuse
Explicit. 56,632 words. 8 works.
Sherlock Holmes goes to Afghanistan for a case. He meets John and James for the first time and the sentiment of sparks flying is by far an understatement.
Soldier Sandwich - orphan_account
Explicit. 1,099 words. One-shot.
Joltolock is good and pure and we desperately need more of it!!
Morning Cardio: A Joltolock Workout - Smirkdoctor (orphan_account)
Explicit. 5,324 words. 3 chapters.
What if Sherlock Holmes stumbled onto a boot camp class being taught by the sexy-as-fuck couple of John Watson and James Sholto? And what if they wanted a third, and worked *really* hard to recruit their new student?
Happy Birthday, John - stravanganza 
Explicit. 9,350 words. One-shot.
It's John's birthday. His wife, Mary, has the perfect gift for him. After all, she has always known that his husband isn't 100% straight... So, she set up a fun night for him. "He still didn’t know how he had let Mary convince him to do this, without even speaking to him. Nor did he know how she had found out about his inner desires. But the fact remained that she had, and that she had decided to take advantage of it to ‘surprise’ John. And what a damn surprise it was."
Johnstrade
M/M/M
Self-Service - Calico
Explicit. 9,478 words. One-shot.
Gratuitous porn, remixed as a favour from another fandom's double penetration prompt. Yeah, I'm not sure what the redeeming feature is either...
Simplyclockwork note: Sherlock/John/Lestrade dream smut.
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