#(you can guess which one she channels more frequently) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unproduciblesmackdown · 17 days

Text

on that note had also been thinking about the hilarious classic maneuver of taking things i go "smh always doing that weird/wrong" & instead putting it in the context of like oh i dunno my life experiences. like going "smh once again in one millisecond i noticed something was about to fall & just sort of Tensed instead of instantly going to catch it & in the next milliseconds hash out like 'oh but could i catch it. oh but now it's in progress am i too late' etc" but like well hang on. first of all the Tense Up / Brace For Impact approach can have its strengths too. second of all like why just kick myself when Of Course the vastly more frequent & relevant experiences of having to stifle reactions & tense up to Brace For Impact / Weather The Situation means that's the standard approach. sure tends to be the case that like "okay test your reflex time :)" type things when i Know It's Coming, i.e. preemptively Tense Up, i turn out quite slow. throwback to a true classic [my roommate that said my cat was performative while their cat did things out of true emotion] at my doctor's appointment at like age thirteen when the ol Knee Bonk Reflex Test would make me Tense/Seize That Knee Up and Then kick. and then afterwards my "big fan of unprompted criticisms / declarations about your internal experiences or true intentions" mom was like you were faking those reflexes. i'm like well i wasn't. she was like yes you were. consider the camera jimmed

secondly i was also thinking like, always been the case that when Talking, often even if in writing format, i can't really avoid mirroring the characteristics of the other person's Style / Patterns lol. was thinking about it in my Relative ease of adopting pronunciations for different language's phonemes when it's like, i guess i do have experience in Doing Voices not b/c i really often Did Voices (sometimes lol, as like, direct quotes or whatever. echoing....) but b/c like i'll just be picking up all kinds of mannerisms / tendencies / ways of speaking, including accents slightly (my default accent being disney channel) not b/c i'm messing with anyone or trying to do anything, in fact trying Not to do this is generally unsuccessfully & This Is What Happens Naturally & always has & it's like yknow what i think it might have to do with the fact that i don't think Talking in general is oh so "natural" for me / a matter of "just being myself" (things virtually never are lol) like. i think that time i had that friend in second grade where i'm like ummm i'm not sure we spoke the same language b/c i'm not sure we spoke hardly ever? but we had fun & played & amused ourselves etc til the teacher as usual went Biggest Time Sicko Mode on our "not paying attention" like nobody else's got & then didn't give a fuck abt "intervening" again when we didn't feel like we were Allowed(tm) to interact at all. & like i'm pretty sure i'd be "supposed" to feel like omg we don't talk (almost) at all?? that's SO weirrrd i remember that soooo welllll

and when i Do talk most "naturally" / "just being myself" it's all at once, wordy, and Theatrical, and even then. i did it some the other day and was Sweating, literally, less so figuratively but it does still feel demanding, and of course even when it doesn't Feel thusly, doing a Lot a lot of verbalizing can really still be draining to Taxing. and i've noticed better like yeah sometimes i'm markedly struggling to speak when i'm already extra wearied. and another thing i put into context better was like "when i'm being put tf through it why do i tend to cry through interactions. b/c i'm being a PUSSY????" like lol just on principle was like okay well who cares, i'm sure you, by which i mean i, have my reasons b/c so too would i think someone else does, like. and i remember like, i tend to Not "directly" cry of stress or sadness virtually ever. while i Do tend to be simply keeping that shit contained but Exactly When i have to try to speak? is when i happen to start crying. hmm. Hmmmm. talking Always this performance that i may often not be up for. similar to [personal visual style / Look / clothes] like my default is "basic outfit i'd want to wear every day" & my ideal is "i do not want to be perceived" & (this &) everything else is performance / drag to me, Would That that always be on my terms

another banger is my till oh so recently kicking myself like "aah [pathologization time] i'm sooo slow to be at ease / comfortable around people even when they're surely being nice, what a hassle for others" like well it can be viewed as a hassle for me but it's also like, wait, i end up having stayed uncomfortable around people who weren't being That nice by putting in That much [any effort from any Consideration] and often turn out like. ultimately not that Safe. and i look at "oh right yeah and also i sure Can be like instantly quite comfortable / at ease around people, including people i literally just met. so" &/or my not being at ease either is still way less of a deal than having to literally/figuratively sweat it while i'd feel so much more Okay avoiding detection much less interaction

#speaking of b/c like ''um just talk to someone'' There May Not Be Any ''Just'' Abt Any Mode Of Communication #ableism everywhere? lack of consideration? there's no ''Just'' being in public or around Anyone or in Any kind of interaction??#shit about the ''''work'''' of Hard(tm) Conversations With Friends like that's oh you know; literally personal. it Needs Specific Context #saying contextless shit about ''ohh nobody wants to Work for marriages i mean dating i mean family i mean friendships anymoreee''#like that is Meaninglessly vague & removed from context as mentioned #& my god will that result in the Sample Provided: Ambient Ableism / Abuse Culture #these godforsaken Pathologized [experiences of abuse] [experiences of being disabled] havers Ruining My Life / being bad people....#anyway as always. i will talk A Ton more than most are willing to process much less acknowledge. i will also Not Talk more than most #will tolerate either. ppl think I Never Talk or that b/c i'm not talking hardly ever this is the only way that i can be. lol #other things ''parent who makes things up about you And loves to drop unsolicited criticisms / boundary issues'' like a favorite one #was that when i was learning to write i ''drew'' letters initially. as opposed to doing True Writing. like #also of course that i was always ''shy'' vs keeping to myself / not liking 'Unstructured' Play b/c like #yeah no shit i know there's Secret Structures/Rules i don't do ''right.'' i know it's not safe to just do whatever around adults or peers.#yes even when the peers are three or four. learning shit speedrun From Birth; old enough to ostracize & reproduce ''norms'' no prob lol

4 notes · View notes

cornerofhell · 1 year

Text

Writin' Lies

I didn't wanna have to do this. But my hand has been pushed.

WARNING: NSFW MENTION

For those that don't know, a user by the name of artinandwritin8 has posted a document about my two dear friends, Glam and Kindheart. The reason I am making this journal post is to point out one of the many flaws of said document and to tell my side of the story since artinandwritin8 has stolen that from me.

I ask that you do not harrass anyone I mention here, and I ask that you please do not spread that document around, which is why I'm not linking it..

First, let's talk about that little flaw I mentioned within this document. The reason I am not referencing others is because this particular flaw is of one of a high nature... If it couldn't easily be fought against.

I would post the screenshot here, but you'll see later that she blocked me before I could!

"Last but definitely not least, the nsfw channels and Glam’s strange sexualization of herself in front of everyone. Now I am a person that is not at all bothered by nsfw topics, at all. As long as it’s purely fictional, legal and consensual, I can engage in a conversation with no problem! I can even discuss irl nsfw topics with my close friends on private with no problem. My problem lies with people that randomly come to tell me about their private lives unprompted, or people that talk about their sexual lives out in the open. Thought it was basic understanding not to talk about your sexual life on the general nsfw channels exclusive but not limited to memes. For a very long time there was just one nsfw channel that functioned for all purposes, too, so that made it even worst to try and handle any and all random statements people made out of nowhere about their private irl lives, while Glam encouraged it. And even though later in time more channels were added along with restrictions on who could and could not access these channels (bc yes, there were no restrictions before and minors did enter, and was not talked about properly after being fixed), it did not stop at all since it would bleed into the other channels all the goddamned time. You could not escape it. I hated it, because like I said I hate people coming to me to talk about their private sexual lives out of nowhere, and I can only guess I wasn’t the only one, since this happened frequently and in front of everyone. I did not reach out to say this bothered me because the owner encouraged this behavior and actively engaged in it, not even considering how her being a fresh adult talking in detail about her sex life unprompted could make others feel at all. You can be open all you want, you can be way more open than I am, but don’t be open right in front of me when I showed no indication of being interested in knowing at all. I hated it."

Huh. That's very interesting seeing how you were one of the main contributors to bringing NSFW out in the open outside of the designated NSFW channels.

Let's talk about the piss jars, shall we? For those that don't know, this was a joke in our server, Heliophilia. The whole Rainbow Dash Jar debacle was a running gag in our NSFW channel at the time, and the joke was made that it be urine instead.

I forget the reason why, it may have been funny banter (since I believed we were friends" but one day everyone awoke to find artinandwritin08's pdf to be my fursona, in a piss jar, which she laughed about and joked about to me.

Then, after I changed my PDF to a character that artinandwritin08 had a heavy crush on in a jar, the mod, kindheart, directed us TO THE NSFW CHANNEL TO CONTINUE THE JOKE. Other people joined and soon everyone's PDFs were piss jars of each other's characters. Hell, artinandwritin08 and I even made jars for two of kindheart's OCs, and kind was fine as LONG AS IT WAS IN NSFW!

Hate to tell you, but URINE IS A WELL-KNOWN KINK. YOU KNEW THAT. Why? Because that's the kink you're claiming that Glam "sexualized herself to everyone" WAS A PISS KINK. And even then, she wouldn't mention her kink outside of NSFW, she would joke about in- get this- NSFW MEMES! Wanna know how I know? Because she never mentioned her piss kink until the NSFW channel had more than just one section. She posted about it in one of the NSFW sections, and after that, it became a running gag in the NSFW channel that mainly everyone participated in. Because it was a JOKE! She was fine with people joking about it, so whenever we saw a meme about urine in NSFW MEMES, everyone would go "oh glam!" The only people who did it outside of NSFW were people tagging her, and her telling them to take it to NSFW.

This is all funny because more recently before the server was deleted, artinandwritin08 and I were joking around in the NSFW channel, section general chat. See, at the time I had considered her a friend, and I had built enough trust with her, to show her my parents. She joked about my mother being hot, and turned that into a running gag between us, which I was semi-okay with. Fast forward to said joking in the NSFW general chat and I changed my PDF to her favorite character's piss jar again, as a joke.

What did she proceed to do? Threaten to put MY MOTHER in a piss jar without any acknowledgment it was a joke and put it as her pdf, in the NSFW general chat, and in front of everyone. I deleted the photo of my parents before she could do it, thankfully, but that sure is a lot of talk for someone uncomfortable with NSFW out in other channels about real people.

NOW the part that was stolen from me!

After the situation of the server being deleted, I unfollowed artinandwritin08 and the others who had been involved in the slander against my friends. It wasn't until today that I saw on tumblr that not only had artin made her own post, but that I was mentioned in it.

I am the member in question in this screenshot above. This section was not only posted without my consent, but it's also flat-out false and severly outdated.

This took place on April 11th, 2021. Yes, you read that right. More than two years ago. The character that artin is referring to was a part of a verse that I deleted more than a year ago. The character's personality and job was almost exactly the same to Kindheart's character, the difference being their species and colors. Kindheart graciously pointed that out when I posted said character, and I realized on my own that Kindheart was right, and I accidentally used her character as help for my own.

No one convinced me, I didn't have on rose-colored glasses, I realized I had made a mistake, and fixed it.

Here are the DMs between Kindheart and I to show she didn't convince me of anything.

As I before mentioned, the very universe and character that this was all about, has been deleted for a long time. So I was appalled when I found this mentioned in the document, and so inaccurately, portraying me as some kind of naive little child as if I couldn't make my own choices, because artin hadn't asked my consent in the first place.

Angry, and genuinely hurt, I took to artin's comments of her tumblr post and wrote this:

"Jess. Take the part about me down. First of all, the part you are referring to is when I was still making the Musicalverse, YEARS ago. The character in question, Love Bug, was in fact way too similar to Kindheart's River Morganite at the time. Kind and I discussed it, and I changed it because I agreed with her! It was almost the exact same story! I wasn't wooed or convinced like you say. Which you would know if you hadn't blocked me and asked my consent to post my story in the first place. Making me anonymous doesn't change the fact that that story is clearly about me. I wasn't forced to do anything. Kind asked me. Why? Because I'm not just a fucking fan who can easily be manipulated or anything like what you said. Kind and Glam are some of my best friends, and once upon a time, you were too. This hurt, Jess. Remove that section about me."

Artinandwritin's response was to block me, and not touch the section about me at all.

The thing is, she didn't know that I had other accounts, and I wanted that section that was misrepresenting me gone. So I used my Ask Glen and Glenda account to comment again, hoping to get that section removed.

And guess what? I was blocked again, within seconds, and that section about me still hadn't been touched.

So using my third account, I posted a comment a final time

And once again, I was blocked. So here I am, having to explain my story because artinandwritin stole it from me, and decided that I was too much of a "fan" to tell my own story.

Then again, there are so many holes in that document and the other that Jerry is stealing it from Tom thinking it's cheese, so who am I to say?

So to set the record straight, I'm not a little fan. I'm Glam and Kindheart's friend. They are like sisters to me, and to have me used as a little "victim" in a story against them is fucking cruel.

To Jess, because I know you'll be reading this: Thank you for proving to me how little you care about people, and how our friendship and probably any others you have, is a fucking lie. Good luck being a therapist.

To everyone else, I love you, thank you for reading.

16 notes · View notes

fishymom-art · 2 years

Text

Bendy and the Dark Revival: Trailer Review

Attention! This post contains spoilers for the new trailer of the game Bendy and the Dark Revival!

If you haven’t watched the trailer, do it first and then come back to read! I also advise you to check out the stream over on @halfusek ‘s YouTube channel, where we reacted to the trailer and discussed it too, but you can do it after you finish reading :))

LET’S START, SHALL WE!

Let’s begin with a huge WHAT THE HELL????? There is so much in this trailer and so many details! I rewatched it a few times already and noticed something new every time! So we have a looooot to unpack.

I will discuss the trailer and theorise about what might happen and what could some things mean. I will be more than happy to hear your own theories based on the trailer! I’ll make a separate hashtag for it, so I don’t lose all of it :). Maybe when the game comes out, we could go through some of those theories again and see, if we did guess something right.

Also sorry in advance if my screenshots aren’t very high quality, I’m working with what I have here, and what I have isn’t always good XD

Onto the trailer!

It starts with a short cutscene of Audrey at her drawing desk. A detail I noticed while making the screenshots, is that it seems to be dark outside and she’s either completely alone at the studio, or there aren’t that many people around for the purpose of making the player concentrate only on the main character, hahaha.

We also have a screenshot from the Bendy Store website showing more of her workplace. Well would you look at that! She has Henry’s picture hanging on her wall :))

(look at her. She’s so pretty with her cute cheeks and uh... Yellow-ish eyes, for some unknown reason)

I’m pretty sure this is how the game starts. And since we were told that the game is separated into chapters again, I assume that in the first chapter we will explore the layout of the place she works in more and play as the normal Audrey, before she gets covered in ink and shit hits the fan. I’ll stick with the theory that Audrey works for Nathan Arch and not in Joey’s Studio, because this place looks VERY different from what we’re used to.

I also assumed that she might be a replacement for Henry when he left, mainly because of his drawing on her wall. But it might also indicate that she’s either his relative or that little girl asking Joey to tell more stories at the end of the first game... hm. But it looks like the game finds itself a few years later after the events of the first game. Like, for example, we were shown that Audrey drew with colours, which means it’s the era of coloured animation. The first full-color animated film was released in 1930s and became frequent by 50s and her hairstyle and clothes seem to line up. MY PROBLEM IS THAT JDS WAS ESTABLISHED IN 1929 AND OPERATED FOR 30 YEARS. SO EITHER THE DEVELOPMENT OF CARTOON INDUSTRY IN THE BENDY UNIVERSE IS VERY SLOW, OR THEY ALL DECIDED TO STICK WITH THE OLD FASHIONED “DRAWING ONE MOVEMENT FOR 10 HOURS BY HAND ON PAPER WITHOUT ANY COLOR” TECHNIQUE FOR MUCH LONGER THAN THEY SHOULD’VE, BECAUSE THE CARTOONS WERE IN COLOR ALREADY LIKE 10 YEARS AFTER THE STUDIO WAS ESTABLISHED. AM I MISSING SOMETHING?????

khem. Anyway.

When the shot with the corridor appears, we hear a loud noise and Audrey saying “What was that?”. It sounds like something opened or turned on in the building. It doesn’t show what that was or what happened, but I guess she went to check it out, because it’s totally safe and a good idea to go towards scary loud noises [thumbs up].

We’re cut straight to a new character, who is probably either the main antagonist or one of the main antagonists alongside other characters that we’re more familiar with (Alice, Ink Demon, etc.).

WELCOME THE CREPPY OLD GUY AKA WILSON!

He is greasy, he is ugly, he looks like someone made a human version of Carver from Showdown Bandit that looks too much like Singed from Arcane. It seems like this is the Unknown guy that was talking to us in the Gameplay Trailer. I really hoped that it’ll be Nathan, but this dried out fig will do too.

Before I talk a little more about the zombification of Peter Capaldi, let’s look at this screenshot a little more. Behind him is something that looks like a mini version of the Ink Machine. It might be the thing that turned Audrey into the inky mess she’ll be for the rest of the game. But there are also some kind of posters about what seems to be... a movie? About Joey Drew? It’s called “Joey Drew: The Man and the Demon”, and is produced by the Arch Gate Pictures (HOORAY! MY ASSHOLE OF A BOY IS CANON IN THE GAME, HALLELUJAH!). Since the location we’re in still looks like the place we’re started off in, it supports my theory that Audrey works for Nathan.

Back to the human cotton swab aka Wilson. Since he refers to our main girl by her first name, it seems like he knows Audrey or was at least told about her.

After his appearance there are a couple of shots showing Audrey transforming into her inky form, so to say. This is what she will look like for the rest of the game. The way they cut to her panicking while turning into an ink creature right after introducing our new baddie, makes me think that Wilson turned her into an ink creature. Maybe he like... poured ink on her or smth?

Now let’s make a little stop here, because while I was writing, the official Bendy Twitter account shared this picture:

First of all, I want to assume that it’s not an only reference we will get. Maybe we will see one for Allison or maybe even our new ugly antagonist, Wilson! Let’s go through it first, shall we?

- They deliberately point out, that Audrey was unwillingly pulled into the cartoon world of Bendy. - She has unique mysterious powers. Something that Henry did not have. Which means I have no clue what she can and cannot do. - And there is a new evil at work in the studio. I’m pretty sure they mean Wilson, because there aren’t any new evil characters who could play a big role in the story, except that male version of Annabelle Doll.

And she’s working those hips, like damn girl, looking sharp!

Anyway, I don’t really have much to say about it yet. I will point out stuff about her design later in the review though!

Anyway, back to the trailer.

Now you can notice those familiar textures and the color scheme. We’re in the Joey Drew Studios, aka now “Bendy’s Cartoon World”, as referred to in Audrey’s bio. I have two options for why we’re suddenly in JDS. It’s either:

- Hidden under the Arch Gate Facility like the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzaplace under the Pizzaplex in Security Breach or - Audrey’s tripping balls and sees everything like that because of her new shiny lightbulbs that replaced her eyes.

Both theories are standing on legs made out of cheap dry plasticine and have almost no points that could’ve supported them (except Wilson actually being supposedly present in the studio at all times), but oh well! Let’s put THAT nonsense aside and look at some new shiny shots of the JDS! Oh, wait, we’ll look at a crucified Lost One first.

It looks like this guy went through some... extreme bullcrap. But oh wait! Is that- Is that what I think it is?! The new weapon that I keep referring to as the Gold Blitz?!... are we going to just... rip it out of this guy?... Oof.

By the way, from now on, I will always refer to this mechanism as the Gold Blitz, because I’m used to it and I can’t really tell what it’s supposed to be in general. So until we get a clear explanation on what it is and what it’s called, you’ll have to deal with my creative choices.

Other than the obvious rehearsal of some biblical events, we have “Demon Follower” written on the wall next to the Lost One. I assume that being a Demon (pretty sure they mean Bendy) Follower here is strictly prohibited and... very creatively punished. Which is a pretty drastic difference from the first game, where the Lost Ones and Sammy were more known as Ink Demon’s followers. But the Ink Demon and support towards him being vilified is a pretty big deal here. During some other shots, we hear a monologue from no other than a less sexy Morty from Hello Puppets Wilson:

(I couldn’t understand some of the words he said, but the overall meaning is clear, I think) “[...] Children of the Machine. For 211 days you’ve lived without the Ink Demon haunting your [?]. I banished him away. In return, I ask just a little favour. There is a stranger. Bring her to me!” (I’ll come back to that last part later)

After some very VERY beautiful shots of the locations that I’ll show shortly after this, we have those posters, saying “Relax, Wilson Knows Your Purpose”. Wilson here is called “The Man Who Killed The Ink Demon”.

Now here’s a little spelling game! Can you spell “PROPAGANDA”? If you need a hint, I can give you a sentence where this word can be used: “This is a clear case of propaganda and manipulation that shows Wilson as the true hero and saviour, who supposedly got rid of the Ink Demon and freed everyone!”

Now, I can’t really say that the Ink Demon is good, because he clearly isn’t. But Wilson is lying, because we do get to see Ink Demon later in the trailer and we have others talking about him. Did this walking example of what lung cancer does to a person brainwashed the Lost Ones into thinking they are safe? It portrays him as a great leader who can easily manipulate other people into believing him, because “Oh, he saved us from this big threat we experienced! We owe him!”.

I think those are some obvious things and a pretty good introduction to a completely new character. I’ll be very surprised if I was wrong with my theory on who he is and what his motives are XD.

NOW LET’S LOOK AT THOSE PRETTY SHOTS OF THE STUDIO I TALKED ABOUT BEFORE!

Look at those details that aren’t distinguishable because of the poor quality of my screenshots!

Okay, jokes aside, it does look extremely pretty. I don’t really have anything else to say about this shot. It’s just. It’s just so much better. Here, have a screenshot of the same location in the first game. DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT?

Although we’ve been waiting for a long LONG time, I am still glad that they took their time with the game. It has so much more to itself and the new design, graphics and overall look make the wait worth it. I’m going to enjoy the hell out of this game when it comes out.

And here’s the other shot! There are... so many details. Clearly this is a cafeteria/canteen or something like that. Honestly looks even like a bar to me, which doesn’t really fit the fact that it’s a fricking studio, but there are many other things that make you question the definition of the word “studio” in this game, so we’ll look over it for now.

I can’t really recognise anything special here except maybe those 3 signs that look like licence plates.

One of them has 414 written on it, because of course it does. I dunno why it has 210 first, I didn’t find anything. The other says “OUTATIME” and the third is “SLW-287R”. Those reference the license plate of the DeLorean Time Machine from “Back to the Future” and Mr. Bean’s car. Nothing else, really, haha.

Of course we also have our beloved Little Miracle station standing in the background, as well as something called Dream Supply and Tasty Eats. I have little to no clue what those are, actually. I’m still confused why is a locker called Miracle Station. But I learned to never question the design choices the developers make, so we’ll just move on.

We also get a quick look at the Art Department or at least something that looks like it, as well as GOLD BLITZ WOOHOO!!! I still have NO idea what this thing is for.

But what I do know, is that we can CHARGE this bad boy! Yes, you heard me! Whatever this abomination of a MacGuffin is, it requires (and presumably emits) electricity. Watch Audrey put this baby in an oversized battery port!

And we actually see that being confirmed in this screenshot. Those lights on the device indicate that it runs on some power and has limited usage. I guess we’ll have to charge it from time to time... I just hope it lasts longer than Glamrock Freddy... also it kinda looks like she made it herself, because it just looks like a pipe with a battery slapped on it ahaha

ALSO LOOK AT MY BOY CHARLIE!!! HE LOOKS SO COOL!

But we actually have something else appear before Audrey gets to show off her new toy!

BOOM! THIS GUY!

He appeared in one of the trailers for a brief moment already. I assume he’ll be an annoying kind of enemy like the Butcher Gang. I have no idea what to call this son of a gun, so I’ll just refer to him as the Ink Brute if I’ll have to talk about him again. But honestly, he’s my son and I lowkey love him. Just look at him go! Even my boy’s better than the vacuum in a skin costume that calls itself Wilson.

But why would I talk about him separately? Because one of the thing that I love the most about this trailer is the unique designs of different new characters that we will be able to interact with! They are so cool! They are alive! They are PEOPLE!

LOOK AT THIS GUY! HE’S SO FUNKY! HE’S SO COOL! ROCKING HIS GOGGLES LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW (which is probably accurate, because time isn’t a concept the studio decided on following).

OR THIS MAPBOT FROM SECURITY BREACH DOLL!

Both of them even have their own voices and here’s something the doll girl says

Doll: “Almost everyone here either can’t speak or they’re completely mad.”

Considering that there are differences when it comes to living cartoons, it kinda makes sense. Perfect cartoons, like Boris, cannot speak, for example. And Alice, who was proven to be an imperfect version of her cartoon self, is uh... unwell, to say the least. It doesn’t really apply to the Lost Ones, as well as this Doll. They do speak, but don’t appear to be irrational, at least from what I’ve seen. The only mad characters in the trailer are the Butcher Gang, who are rabid from the get-go, Alice, who’s literally portrayed with a legit GUN later in the video, and the illegitimate son of William Afton and Bill Cipher aka Wilson.

Talking about the characters we already know and love (not counting Wilson). Allison is here, looking SHARP!

There is a short dialogue going on between Audrey and Allison. I assume it’s the first time they meet.

Allison: “I’m not gonna hurt you. Looks like you need some help”

Audrey: [pulls her hand away as soon as Allison touches it] “Don’t touch me!”

I wanted to add, that Audrey doesn’t say “Don’t touch me!” in a scared voice. More like warning Allison, that it’s not safe to touch her. Although maybe it’s just me looking too much into voice acting hahah. I guess Allison here helps Audrey to adapt around the studio. She takes her hand and points out that our girl needs help just by looking at it. Maybe she realised that Audrey is new to all of this. But she could also be pointing it out because of this distinctive feature of hers:

I’m actually surprised they didn’t really say anything about her arm and I didn’t even think about it until I watched the trailer again. I don’t really have anything else to say though. I hope Allison will answer this question, because it looks like she knows what that could mean. At least I hope she does, because if she doesn’t, we’ll have to interview the old melted wax figure that is Wilson. Or like... ask Alice, or smth. She did pick up a hobby of going through cartoons’ guts, she might know a thing or two- [gets shot with a tommy gun]

Well, anyway, let’s see, what else we have in that trailer. Except the canteen and some random rooms, we get a hallway!

What’s interesting is that it has an almost identical layout as the hallway I showed in the beginning, but it might just be me looking at the floor tiles and thinking I connected the dots, when in reality I didn’t connect shit. But it does work with that “Audrey’s tripping balls” theory I talked about earlier. Although I am leaning more towards the Security Breach comparison at the moment.

And then we have something interesting, which is just a shadow, but it belongs to my boy, my love, my beautiful bean, my favourite creature Nature created while she was drunk on bacon soup. THE INK DEMON!

There is a short dialogue between Allison and Audrey when he appears.

Allison: “Above everything else, stay away from the Ink Demon.” Audrey: “What’s an Ink Demon?” Allison: “He likes to smile. And he kills anything that moves.”

We already heard the last sentence in a different trailer out of context, but now we know that it’s Allison explaining Audrey who the Ink Demon is. Which makes me think that we won’t see our favourite boy for a while. At least not until Allison and Audrey meet.

Bendy also seems to be a little upgraded. His horns are bigger and the head isn’t as smooth and round. And if you look closely when the shadow rises, you can see that he has some kind of spikes on his back. He did have something similar in his old model, but it was more subtle, while the new model seems to be more detailed and “exaggerated”, so to say. Also it seems like he’s not a twink anymore - [gets shot again]

After that we get a better look at Audrey’s model and may I say, she looks pretty badass. Slay, queen! SLAY YOUR ENEMIES! SLAY THE DEMON!

I honestly really enjoy her design. And am... kind of confused why everything around her as well as she herself change their color. Guess it has something to do with the whole “Bendy’s Cartoon World” thing? I never really think about it usually, but the people in the studio don’t really... have that many normal human features. Like, their skin color is orange/brown-ish and all the clothes grey and black (maybe a little white here and there + golden stuff like Audrey’s eyes). It seemed like a design choice in the first game, but now that we were shown a different place that is more colourful and we know that Audrey’s skin and clothes don’t actually look like that in the beginning, it gets a little confusing.

I don’t really know what else to say. A part of me suggests that maybe it means that she’s dead, but that Joker with no make up on (Wilson) is also there and I’m pretty confident that he is alive. Plus, there’s no indication that it might be a purgatory of some sort or that there’s no way out. Even the description of the game that we get on the official Bendy Store website states, that our mission is to leave the studio. Although considering the ending of the first game, that wants us to think that Henry might be dead, it’s a question that will stay open for quite a while. As far as I’m concerned, we might never get a clear answer to what the hell this studio is. I know those Indi developers. They never give a clear answer to the biggest questions, especially BatIM. So I guess we could theorise about it without ever being sure X). Let’s just move on, we could talk about it the whole day.

Btw, the sign behind Audrey says “Unsafe Area” and asks for the workers’ ID cards.

There was another location that requires an ID card to enter with the subtitle “Be Drawn to Fear.”

I guess all the locations reserved for Gent workers may require an Identification to enter... LET’S STEAL WALLY’S ID!

//I wrote a shit ton of stuff here and it got deleted, so from now on it will be a little rushed, probably//

///It got deleted twice. I am suffering right now///

Welp, let’s talk more locations! Here we have a... uh... [looks through the notes] a city street. Yep. A city street.

At first I thought it was the Lost Ones harbour/town/haven/whatever. But look at it again and you realise that there’s no fucking way it could be that. I TOLD YOU THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD “STUDIO” IN THIS UNIVERSE IS THE MOST CONFUSING SHIT IN THE WORLD. This place has a grocery store, a pharmacy, a residential building EVEN A SUBWAY STATION. IT HAS A GODDAMN SUBWAY STATION????

This place makes my head hurt as much as Tumblr deleting half of this review every time I’m trying to save it as a draft. I have only one explanation that comes to mind and makes the most sense. The locations from the cartoons/comics become real, just like the characters. It’s the most realistic option in my opinion. We did see city backgrounds in comics and cartoons after all (reference Cheap Seats).

Otherwise it makes absolutely no sense and if I’m wrong here, I will lose all my marbles and I don’t have many left. This just adds like... 50 bucks to the “Put a dollar every time the JDS makes no sense” jar.

Let’s move on before I lose my mind. We do have another screenshot that seems to be taken in the same location, but I’ll leave it for later ;)

NOW WE HAVE THIS!

IN THE VENTS! IN THE VENTS! WE WILL GO INTO THE VENTS ANd I am not going to make an Among Us joke.

NEXT!

OOH, SOME QUICK GRABBERS WE HAVE HERE! And it clearly belongs to our beloved Ink Demon - his left hand has four fingers and a glove.

Although it does seem like he went through much more changes than I thought. Because this looks much better than whatever the hell it used to be:

Fear the ones you bullied in middle school, so to say.

Although he does lack basic level of intelligence if he thinks that he can reach and grab Audrey through that little hole in the wall. Well, at least one thing they didn’t change about him X) /lh

And here’s something... big. I missed it the first time I watched it and I didn’t really look that deep into it. A table a with a writing on the wall behind it saying “She was the FOURTH”.

But then a friend pointed out that it might have something to do with a thing Meatly said once that left all fans go completely badonkers 2 years ago (yes, it’s been 2 years).

This CLEARLY means that Audrey (or some other female character who we haven’t seen before. Although I’m pretty sure it’s about Audrey) is supposed to represent the fourth member of The Butcher Gang. And this is a pretty huge deal. If it IS Audrey, it could explain why that wet old sock of a person aka Wilson wants to find Audrey so bad. Maybe he tried to turn her into that character, but she managed to escape before he could finish his work. And maybe it’s the reason why she has those unique powers that Allison seems to be familiar with - maybe, all cartoons have this feature?

But we still can’t really say who that character is. Clearly they came up with it pretty late. The comic book already came out when he said it and neither that nor the cartoons acknowledge this character or their existence. Which leads me to the only conclusion I’m able to make right now - that fourth member was a thing at FIRST, but then was scraped by the artists and never made it to the screens/in the comics. If I’m wrong again, I’ll just stick with the joke that Edgar’s toy duck is the fourth member and shut my mouth.

Let’s move on then, because I have nothing else to say about this and I’m very tired and have been writing this part for over 3 hours or something like that.

WHY NOT TALK ABOUT ANOTHER MUCH BETTER (sorry XD) FEMALE CHARACTER THAT IS MY BELOVED ALICE ANGEL?! Because guess what!

THEY GAVE HER A GUN! I REPEAT, THEY GAVE ALICE A FUCKING GUN! BENDY ROYALE IS REAL MWAHAHAHHAHAH

But for real now, this moment made my day when I first saw that XD.

Well, for the last, but not least (although pretty much the littlest)...

PERFECT BENDY IS HERE! HE’S CANON AND HE’S BABY! LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE BEAN!

Look at him in his little vest! What an adorable little gentleman!

This is that other screenshot from the city location I mentioned! Which means that Bendy might accompany us in some of the locations. Which I’m all for! IF I GET TO SEE THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE CREATURE MORE THAN ONCE, I WILL BE THE HAPPIEST FISH ALIVE!

Also it makes me think that the Perfect Bendy might actually be Henry. Now, this is a pretty popular theory and I actually agree with it in some parts. For example, that scene in Chapter 5, where Sammy attacks Henry, saying that he betrayed and abandoned him and that he trusted him, etc. He mistakes Henry for Bendy there and it would only make sense if he did so because Henry looks like his Lord. + Our man had ink splashed in his face on multiple occasions throughout the game, it should’ve affected him somehow. And lastly, every living cartoon was a normal person at first, and it doesn’t exclude Bendy over here. And who fits the role more than Henry? (Except maybe Joey, but I highly doubt it) Plus, he does look like he’s been in the studio for quite some time, because of his messy clothes and messed up face. And we all know by now that Henry went through a lot of loopty loops in this studio, he’s seen some shit.

Of course, I haven’t talked about a couple of other things (like that ball with someone’s name), but mainly because I honestly have nothing to say about that. There is so much in this new trailer and I am extremely happy.

November 15th. Less then two weeks left.

I know I said that I won’t be doing anything bendy related anymore. But I also said that this will be a case only if batdr doesn’t awaken anything in me and boy did it awaken a lot. I can’t wait to play this game and watch other people play and theorise about it. I also can’t wait for you guys to send me your comments, ideas and theories about this game and my review, so we can all talk about it a little more.

I do still think that the developers are assholes. They aren’t good people. But it doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy the everloving hell out of this game. Plus, I am the (self-proclaimed) Owner of Bendy and the Ink Machine ;).

In conclusion... I am happy. I truly am. And I can’t wait to see more when the game comes out.

With love,

FishyMom.

#bendy and the dark review #bendy and the dark revival #batdr #batdr trailer #batdr spoilers

78 notes · View notes

canyoufucksoniccharacters · 10 months

Text

CAN YOU FUCK BLAZE THE CAT?

From one purple cat to the other. Strap in, this is when it starts to get a bit weird.

Alright, as always, we're going to start off by going to the Wayback Machine and digging up the unlisted character ages.

Funny enough- This time, Sonic Channel is our only source, as Sonic Heroes was the last time the character ages were EVER listed- outside of a specific internal guide book thing that Sega has where they list off... The Classic characters. With Sonic being listed as 15 there. Classic Sonic. Yeah, you can tell it was made in the middle of Forces' development.

That aside, let's take a look...

... What?

Ok, so, for reference, Sonic had been listed as 15 ever since the manual for Heroes came out- even after Generations, the game where his literal birthday party happened. Before and after the anniversary game where they celebrate Sonic's birthday in-universe, he was listed as 15. Which is stupid. But what's even more stupid is the idea that Blaze could be younger than Sonic. Blaze, on multiple occasions, shows a similar, if not slightly higher level of maturity than Sonic.

Her dialogue has a MUCH more refined tone very frequently- she is shown to be highly responsible, and despite her tendency to have a one-track mind, she's shown to have a pretty large sense of responsibility. Something that would be hard to buy if she's younger than sonic.

In fact, recently we've gotten artwork of her displaying said sense of responsibility, and the fact that, y'know... She's a princess. A literal one. Or well, more like a queen all things considered, but y'know- she holds actual political responsibility, and, well-

Nothing really seems to show she can't handle said responsibilities. She seems to be a competent, active political figure! Which I guess isn't impossible for a 14 year old in a fictional universe, but Sonic, despite its absurdity, has a lorekeeping team now for a reason. Having a preteen be an important political figure is just a bit too far for Sonic, considering all the political figures we've seen, human or animal, have been on the more realistic side.

To add to all this, the idea that Blaze's level of maturity is pretty well defined and definitely not as young as Sonic Channel says it is, I'd like to bring up a segment from a design document, from Sonic 2006.

Forgive the poor image quality, I couldn't find anything better. Text is in the image ID. While this is likely not canon, funny as it may be to assume it is, due to it being from a somewhat early design document for Sonic 06. However, the fact this was ever considered at all tells us one of two things, either Sega is full of freakos that think about underage people's chest size and their feelings on it, or maybe, just maybe, she's always been meant to lean more on the mature side. The latter seems more likely, but who knows.

Although there's a possibility that she's not an adult by the time Sonic Rush and/or 06 happen, she is absolutely not 14, and since those games, there's been both an in-universe birthday party for Sonic, and a 6-month timeskip in Sonic Forces. So with an age that was unlisted that completely contradicts her actual behavior, and time clearly having explicitly passed between and during games, it's highly unlikely she's still a minor. Remember, the ages were unlisted for a reason. Most of them were either plucked from the American manual for Sonic Heroes, or seemingly made up on the spot.

I believe that's what happened here- with the Sonic Channel age for Blaze. There's no other official documentation that refers to her age, only Sonic Channel. If I had to guess, since they had already listed the ages of the Sonic Heroes characters, they felt an obligation to list the ages of the other characters from games past Heroes. But, of course, Sonic Channel is just a website. It is not a published work, it is not a game, it is not anything of large significance from a company perspective. Likely thing is, some random employee at Sega was tasked to look at these characters and assign them an age, without any real consultation, and put them up on the website. After all- why else would they get removed? If they're accurate, reliable information, why would they randomly decide to remove them?

So, TL;DR- I don't think Blaze's listed age on Sonic Channel ever held any ground, due to a very clear and consistent pattern of decently mature behavior from the character, and a character document making reference to pretty mature matters regarding her, which would be EXTREMELY weird if she was, indeed, 14. That, combined with the passage of time within and between multiple Sonic games, makes it impossible for me to believe she's still a minor, if she ever was one.

In conclusion; can you fuck Blaze The Cat? Considering the aforementioned information, the answer is, most likely...

Yes, you can fuck Blaze The Cat.

Most likely, anyways. There is a small, pretty small chance of her not being 18 or above. That will go for a lot of our candidates. But, until Sega says otherwise; You can, in fact, fuck Blaze The Cat.

#blaze the cat #sonic the hedgehog #sth #STATUS: FUCKABLE

8 notes · View notes

the-lore-and-art-cave-go-brrrrr · 6 months

Text

Apparently being in the car for several hours at a time is very good at giving you ideas for personality’s of characters.

On that note: I’ve decided I’m going to get into the personalities of many characters I have, even if they haven’t ever done anything because they’ve not made an appearance and/or are literally dead.

Shalara/Ocean Aquae: Before I thought of her as a more serious, but since I reworked her and actually got into her backstory a little, plus like what she ends up doing, which is becoming a pirate at some point, I’ve decided that’s different. So now the way I think of her personality is something maybe like Uzi from Murder drones? But not quite. The sort of aggressive nature Uzi has is definitely present, but in general Shalara is a lot more positive and definitely more rowdy. She can still get serious when needed, I figure she’s probably a decent strategist, and given she was canonically in training as a doctor, even with her role as crown princess, she’s definitely able to calm down and get serious. She’s for sure the level head in situations where that would be required, and I’ve mentioned [Redacted] has had to bear witness to that many times, and at least one of them was because he was hurt, and she had to heal them. But that’s how I think of her personality as of the updated design and backstory era.

Magrieus/Zircon Ardor: Magrieus I’ve thought about a lot, and is also possibly the character I have had the hardest time getting an idea on. Butttt given their inspiration as a character is Bronya from HSR, they’d probably be somewhat like that. Serious, possibly a little naive at first, but fiercely loyal, and very protective of those they care about. That’s the best idea I have. I do think they probably have a pretty firey temper, probably something to do with the fact they are half fire imp (and I’ve determined fire imps typically have very quick tempers, which might be cliche but here we are-), but I also have started thinking of them as just a bit of a jokester. Probably very dry humor (which I’ve been told I have so I guess I really do write what I know).

Fultein/Bolt Impetus: Honestly out of all the saviors, Fultein and Astris are the second most fleshed out, with [Redacted] obviously being the first. But Fultein is who I’m talking about right now, so here we go. Given Fultein was pretty much in a leadership role already (the elder of her group was getting pretty old by the time she was 17, so she’d basically taken over in all but name), she’s a pretty serious person. Probably pretty strict in general, but definitely caring, possibly to a fault. Much like Magrieus, she’s fiercely loyal and protective over who she cares about. She’s like the mom friend times eleven. Honestly she’d probably be pretty empathetic. Leaning towards her being an empath much like [Redacted], and she’s one of the people who taught them protection spells and how to figure out if what he’s feeling is actually its feelings or someone else’s. She’s also likely a good strategist, and I’d say she’s a quick thinker.

Astris/Stardust Cometa: Astris is one character I’ve actually done a lot of short story writing off. I have like 8 or 9 notes in my notes app that are entirely short stories about them. But they’re probably one of my favorites personality wise. So when you first meet them, they’d come off pretty serious, but when you do get to know them better, they’d be distinctly not that. They’re a very kind and caring person, who probably is always there with a compliment. Ironically enough the best reference I have is N (murder drones). Like literally they were the embodiment of a golden retriever. [Redacted] and Astris really were out here channeling the black cat+golden retriever partners trope. Though I do think they’d be a quiet guy in general, because of the typical star striker set of powers that they have on steroids. Given one of their powers is the gift of prophecy, I’d wager they’d frequently get visions of the future, so they probably would stay quiet in any scenario because they’re just trying to keep up with their own mind. Kind of like Clearsight from wings of fire. (God I’m in so many freaking fandoms it’s hard to keep up with it all-)

OH BOI- this is the part where I do four (it’s four now! It was three before-) different ones for [Redacted]. Yippeeee

Glow Sidus (Before calamity): I think I have established that Glow was a very very angry person. They weren’t always this way (at this point in time they did still go by she/her so I’m gonna use that), when she was younger she was a pretty chill kid. But eventually the whole being a flock bird in a family of non-flock birds messed with her personality, and she got pretty aggressive as result. This being a result of the underlying abandonment issues of course, but she didn’t really understand that at the time. So that resulted in a very explosive temper (god she’s just like me for real), and as I wrote, this resulted in a very specific incident where, when she was still learning how to control her powers (because having way stronger than average light powers which rely heavily on emotions at this point when you are an emotionally unstable teenager is definitely a good combination), she got angry at her sister, lashed out, and gave her a massive scar. So that resulted in a general fear of herself and her emotions, which in turn lead to an unhealthy coping mechanism known as bottling it all up (once again, just like me for real). Barbs and Aura really were her biggest support system at this point.

Glow Sidus (during the calamity): At this point, Glow had mellowed out a little bit (also now switching to they/them in reference to them for this one), so while they still have a temper, it’s less present, and they’re more so quiet, a whole lot more anxious, and way more serious. Very much the black cat to Astris’s golden retriever. They’re also currently going through basically the apocalypse (this stemming from me realizing the chaos corrupt could very well be like zombies, hence the threat they pose being just that much greater), so there’s more seriousness, depression, and sleep deprivation all around. Plus, as the others die, they got much more withdrawn, and that stuck with them throughout their late teen years.

[Redacted] Sidus (During the events of oneshot): At this point [Redacted] effectively: 1.) lost their parents and sister (allegedly), 2.) lost several close friends (including but not limited to: Shalara, Magrieus, Fultein, Aura, Barbs, and probably some others at this point), and 3.) lost their partner (which probably sucked ass let’s be real). So he’s really going through it at this point. He’s also like 17 at this point so he’s living under the care of Aesteus and Cador, who are dating at this point but not married. He was very withdrawn at this point, mostly just slept. Until Aesteus brought them a usb drive with a certain puzzle game on it (my mom called it that after she played it, and it does say that’s what it is when I googled it, so it’s a puzzle game. A really depressing puzzle game). He starts playing that, figures out damn near instantly that this isn’t entirely a game (and also probably figures out almost as quickly that Niko is not just a character in it), and boom: how to cure a man’s depression. But also how to give them a crisis, because at this time while he’s trying super desperately to get both Niko home, and save the world, he’s struggling with the idea that he’s playing god, given their direct connection with Ludeius. So basically: anxiety, depression, and a whole lot of crisis.

[Redacted] Sidus (present): So I’ve probably shown a good chunk of their personality by now. He’s much more serious, has a tendency to accidentally adopt stray teenagers/children (THE AMOUNT OF SELF CONTROL THIS MAN PROBABLY HAD TO USE WHEN HE MET LIGHT- he was probably going “I do not need to adopt another child. I do not need to adopt another child. I do not-“ and then he basically/legally in one case, adopts Asa and Sage. Also this directly parallels my tendency to get accidentally adopted), and in general is kinda high strung anxiety wise. Honestly tho I don’t blame them, the man had one of his kids get shot, kidnapped, and tortured, which the kidnapped and tortured part extends to the other three, then literally took an explosive to the arm, died, woke up in limbo AGAIN, bargained with Ludeius, committed undeath, and then LOST SAID ARM. He's been through a lot. And is also 25, so like he’s really been through a lot. But yeah, now he’s the mom friend (literally the only way to explain it), and honestly he’s just trying to relax (and not getting too), do their like 3 jobs they have, and not die again (which he failed at once already).

ALRIGHT MAIN CHARACTERS FOR [REDACTED]’S UNIVERSE DONE! Now for the side characters…

Barbs: As I said, Barbs is [Redacted]’s cousin who’s basically MIA. He was rowdy, chaotic, but kind, and he was always there to be [Redacted]’s support when they needed it. They definitely take inspiration from a cousin of mine (who I’m not as close with anymore, but I still remember how it used to be).

Aura: Aura is based off a “friend” I had, which I have mentioned. I’ve mentioned this friend bullied me so heavily that it’s made me forever have a complex about my weight (which is actively unhealthily skinny for my height, and I cannot get it up, which is a bit of a problem-). And as a coping mechanism, because I’m trying to get the hell over her and her “friendship”, I made Aura. And then made her a magpie since those are trash birds where I live (they eat our peaches off the trees, the little shits). So at first, she was a pretty nice person, dry humor and a creative streak that went on for miles. But before the calamity, she started to get a little toxic, saying things that just were… off. It came to a head when, in hopes to save herself, she rats out where the five saviors are, and this results in Fultein’s death. [Redacted] has never forgiven her. But it’s also mostly certain that in the end, she was turned into a chaos corrupt, and died with the rest during the end of the calamity ([Redacted] holding that ball of light up into the air, which explodes and basically just turns the chaos corrupt into dust).

Aesteus: Aesteus is another of [Redacted]’s cousins of which takes heavy inspiration off of mine. They specifically are the oldest of the cousins (fun fact, much like with me and my oldest cousin, Aesteus and [Redacted] are the two eldest cousins. And since [Redacted] is Afab while Aesteus is the first amab cousin, the two were pretty much the guinea pigs of the cousins), and took the role of [Redacted]’s legal guardian after the calamity. They’re a pretty positive person, and they’re just a good support for [Redacted]. Barbs was their little brother.

Cador: Cador is also a pretty nice guy. They’re all around a pleasant person to just spend time with, and honestly I’m pretty sure job wise they’d be a therapist so I guess that could influence their personality. They’re a quiet person, but still talkative, it’s literally their voice that is quiet. I dunno I’m still figuring them out.

It’s time… FOR NIKO’S HOME UNIVERSE.

Niko/Somino Amano: So I’ve done a lot of thinking on this (kinda have to cause they’re like the main focus of one of the blogs), and here’s what I got. For them most part, I’d say they are still similar enough in personality to the canon version. But they do deviate pretty hard from canon in like every regard, so I should probably explain the ways they do that here as well. Obviously they’re a lot more serious, a whole heap of a lot more traumatized (which is very valid, because we have the golden arc, abduction arc, that one mini arc, oneshot itself… oh and now the tide arc soooo… yeah), and also just a lot more sarcastic. Plus now they’ve got some fun light magic tomfoolery they can do, and a whole lot more chaotic energy they get to use on a daily basis. Yeah that’s what I’ve got.

Hoshi Amano: So they’re not very fleshed out yet. I don’t even have their pronouns decided yet, which I should probably do because they’re about to show up a lot more often now that they’ve made an appearance. I’d say they’re just pretty serious, kinda blunt, and probably just a very focused person. They probably get along best with Niko and [Redacted], which is good because they literally share a body with one of them.

Rizu Chowa: Yeah so. We know. She’s literally the chaos gremlin friend. She’s gotten a bit more serious recently, but she’s still chaos incarnate. She’s very loud, pretty rowdy, and very aggressively caring. She’s the one who would threaten to fight you if you dare talk bad about yourself.

Asa Hiru: honesty she’s gone through a lot of change. But her personality is pretty set now. She’s kind of aggressive, but caring, and also would probably threaten to fight you if you talk bad about yourself. She probably reminds [Redacted] of itself when he was much younger. I’ve also decided she may actually be very good at dad jokes. And also she’s very good at going for a long time without needed breaks, which is helpful since she’s a cna with plans to become either an ER worker or a surgeon, so that would be needed. Plus she has steady hands (I could never), which is good. For the nurse thing.

Sage Haiyu: Sage might be my most mysterious character here. With the log notes I did to explain her backstory, I hope I’ve at least made it clear that she’s artificial life, created with genetic code from several people in an attempt to create basically a war machine. One of these people who donated genetic material was the head scientist, and her genes were the most prominent, and included the green eyes and plant and earth based magic. But that’s not what we’re here for. At first glance, Sage is a quiet, kind person who’s usually just listening. But in reality, she’s a very alert person who’s always wary of others. Basically she has major trust issues, but also a knack for figuring out who’s actually trustworthy. She actually has quite the temper, but she’s gotten very good at keeping herself under control. Plus, as an actor, she’s very good at impressions, especially vocal ones, so do with that what you will??

Now for Niko’s familyyyy here we go.

Also I found what name I picked for Niko's mom, and I googled it because I was 50% sure it had something to do with hazelnuts, and one of the meanings of the name was in fact Hazelnut tree, and it made me laugh so hard because I knew I had done something like that.

Harika Amano (Niko's mother): So we know like absolutely zero things about her other than she's really good at making pancakes and also the one thing we see about her in the dream, where she honestly seems just really nice. So that left me some room to interpret. So I figure she's a very nice person, very caring, probably a little sleep deprived (her eldest kid keeps getting into situations, and the twins are chaos gremlins, who wouldn't be), and probably a somewhat worried person in general. She's just worried about her kids, but she's doing her best, and her kids are all very happy to have her as their mom.

Mugi Amano (Niko's little brother): Alright, so. Mugi I decided is the older of the twins, but not by that much. He's the more energetic and loud one, who's typically more active. He's also terrible at keeping secrets and also lying. He's the more extroverted one, but he struggles in terms of learning. I think I'm leaning towards him having ADHD (same kid, same), and possibly being dyslexic? So he struggles there, but luckily he has an older sibling who's really good at the math side of things, and a sister who's basically the fastest reader he knows. So he's doing his best.

Honoka Amano (Niko's little sister): Honoka is the younger of the twins. She's a little less energetic, and quieter in general, but just as chaotic as her brother. She's also much better at secret keeping, and probably lying, though I think she'd always feel bad, so she wouldn't like lying anyways. She's a little bit more introverted than Mugi, but mostly because she's more easily overwhelmed. Leaning towards her having a generalized anxiety disorder, and I think it's possible she might also have a dissociative disorder, though that's up in the air for now. She's pretty good in terms of school stuff, especially in reading, so she helps her brother with that, because it just doesn't make sense to him sometimes. Niko helps her with math too, because math is hard. She's also doing her best. And also given her alternative eye color (blue), she may develop some powers when she's a little older, but she doesn't have any apparent ones just yet.

For the last character on the list (for the time being-)...

The World Machine/Twm: So in oneshot literally what I managed to pick up on (bear with me, can't do tone so I don't know if the intention was for them to sound aggressive, anxious, or what-) is that they were either depressed/suicidal (that part was blatantly obvious, you cannot ignore being told repeatedly that someone desires death), anxious, both of these things, or just downright trying to seem aggressive as a cover-up. But now with the time skip, here's what I've got. Twm is more of a walking entity of sass now, though still with some underlying anxiety. Significantly less desire for death though. They're actually a secretly caring person, who's usually worried about the safety of others (which is something I think they were showing when they were worried about Niko in the game, but again, not entirely certain on this one), and this shows sometimes, especially with the authors other kids, who I do think Twm thinks of as siblings, at least a little bit.

HOLY CRAP IT'S FINALLY DONE- THIS TOOK SO LONG-

#this does not get to count as a dash ramble #not even a little bit #lore dump #also I started this on April 2nd so it really did take a lot of time #so much of this is just me rambling #I don't even know how much of this makes sense

3 notes · View notes

snowe-zolynn-rogers · 2 years

Text

The Eclipse, Blood Moon, And Harvest Moon Show

Pairings: DJ Music Man/Blood Moon, Glamrock Bonnie/Harvest Moon

Word Count: 1,538 Words

Summary: The recording with Sirius while Eclipse is being fixed.

Warnings: Sick (mentioned), Blood (mentioned only), Violence (mentioned only), Abuse (mentioned only), Injury (mentioned only), Cursing, Neglect (mentioned only), Anxiety (not mentioned fully, at the end), let me know if I should add anything else.

Notes: The tax evasion category board isn’t mine, it’s someone else’s rating chart but I can’t remember the person’s @.

Chapter 4: Harvest, Blood, And Sirius React To Fanart

“Okay, so what are we doing?” Sirius asked.

“We’re recording for the channel! See? The camera’s on already and…” Blood Moon zoned a moment, Eclipse was so sick, he was worried about her. She was so feverish he worried about her servos and circuit boards being burned through by the fever.

“And we’re reacting to art and videos people have made of us!” Harvest Moon finished for him.

“That’s the other voice, that must be Harvest Moon, right?”

“Lunar didn’t tell you who was who, now did he? I am indeed Harvest Moon. Blood Moon is distraught over our sibling. The viewers know this, I’m sure they saw the video.”

“For those who don’t, and for Lunar’s friend, Sirius, here, our sibling, Eclipse, was hurt yesterday and she needs repairs so she won’t be here with us today. Our baby sibling, Lunar, sent us his friend, Sirius, who is a similar person? Right, Sirius?”

“Basically, I’m your brother from a different dimension.”

“Sibling, our Eclipse is genderfluid.”

“Genderfluid?”

“Their gender changes.”

“Oh. I…I didn’t know that existed. I’ve never explored gender identity. I can have a crisis over that later, though. You said art and videos?”

“Yes! First picture!” Harvest happily popped the picture on the screen. It was one was of their entire family and some more, all organized into categories.

“Tax evasion category board?” Sirius asked.

“I believe so. Eclipse chose all these pictures for the video, Blood Moon chose the art, I chose the videos. Which one is me…That one! ‘Commits tax evasion frequently’! Ha! Yes, I am not registered to pay them, therefore I do not!” Harvest laughed.

“Where am I?” Sirius asked, looked through the pictures for himself. “‘Pays taxes’, yes I do. If I didn’t, I think my brother might finally come out of Altair’s room and kick my butt.”

“And I know what taxes are, I hate them.” Blood Moon commented.

“Why do you even pay them!? How do you pay them!? We don’t make money!”

“That you know of.” Blood Moon told them.

“What!?” Harvest asked.

“Where do you think the cat food for my stray legion comes from?” Blood Moon asked.

“Stealing!”

“Don’t worry your head about it, sibling.”

“Lunar would absolutely get caught committing tax evasion. To be fair, he doesn’t really understand taxes fully yet.” Sirius commented.

“Moving on. You’re talking about why and how you pay taxes later, Blood Moon.” Harvest grumbled. They clicked to the next picture. It was a shaky picture of Blood Moon biting Eclipse’s arm back during the fight in the daycare.

“Blood Moon, it’s you.” Harvest alerted their twin.

“Me?” Blood Moon giddily surfaced and giggled at the picture. “I would do that to sibling again.” Blood Moon confirmed.

“They look so annoyed.” Sirius laughed.

“They are usually annoyed at us to be fair.” Harvest justified. “Next picture and then we have fanart.” Harvest pressed for the next picture and found it was a picture taken of Harvest Moon back during October in Gator Golf teeth embedded into a blood bag and head upside down as he stared at the camera.

“I remember this. Someone took a picture of me back during October when Montgomery was harboring me and Bloody and I was especially hungry that day. How did Eclipse get this picture from that security guard? How did she even get a picture of me? I ran off after she saw me.”

“Must be quick with her phone, I guess. Are you eating blood?” Sirius asked.

“Our hunger was insatiable during October. We have calmed down a bit.” Harvest told him.

“You calmed down. I still crave. God, we need to make more food after this! I’m hungry after all night up with her!” Blood Moon complained.

“We still have a couple of the brownies Lunar gave us. I’ll get them after the fanart.”

“Oh, he gave me another set of brownies for you. Here.” Sirius remembered and handed them the wrapped ziplock bag of their beloved favorite brownies.

“Oh, we love you.” Blood Moon practically cackled with joy. “Let me out.” Blood Moon requested and Harvest let him in front to giddily eat one of the brownies and switch to the fanart before letting Harvest back out. Sirius was laughing his ass off and holding his stomach he was laughing so much.

The fanart was plushie versions of them with Eclipse seemingly screaming and upset while Harvest Moon was holding up a destroyed cat toy mouse proudly and Blood Moon was hanging onto a bed and struggling to get up. Harvest chuckled seeing them as plushies, especially the positions were funny.

“That one is great. Did you know Monty apparently turned Sun, Moon, and Lunar into plushies a while ago? Like while Moon and Lunar were still in one body.”

“I didn’t actually.” Harvest began laughing more.

“Apparently Lunar’s voice is incredibly high pitched and ear-piercing when he’s a plushie and he hurt everyone’s ears.” Sirius laughed.

“God, I wish I’d seen that.” Harvest smiled, clicking to the next fanart.

This one was Bloody with his legion of alley cats feeding them cat food and Eclipse ‘sneaking’ off with one of them.

“I don’t get this one. Is he raising a cat army?” Sirius asked.

“Okay, so Blood Moon feeds stray cats and he told Eclipse he’d bring them home one because they love cats.” Harvest told him.

“Oh.” Sirius chuckled at that one.

“Bloody would know exactly what cat it is she stole if she did steal one, though.” Harvest commented. “Onto videos.”

Harvest Moon opened and booted up TikTok on the computer to put on the first video saved in their favorites for the recording. It opened with a dramatic screenshot of Eclipse in the last video after their knee got hurt. Then it was was drawn as an animatic.

“Hey, how y’all-“ It was meant to be KC asking, obviously while Eclipse was on the floor by the table holding Solar Flare’s body with their knee hurt. Blood Moon was doing the growling in the video toward KC while KC screeched. “Getcho fucking dog, bitch! It don’t bite. Yes it do get-“ Went the little spat between Harvest and KC while Blood Moon in the animatic bit him.

“Did this happen?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“Well, not like that. It wasn’t nearly as funny. Eclipse was hurt but we couldn’t do anything or he’d accuse us of being a reason they hadn’t finished on time and might’ve hurt them more.” Harvest explained.

“Blood Moon does seem like the biter of the two of you.” Sirius commented so Harvest plucked up Sirius’ arm and bit his wrist rather gently, not knowing his pain tolerance.

“I bite too.” Harvest told him, sticking their tongue out at him.

“Alright, you’re both biters.” Sirius chuckled a bit while Harvest clicked to the next video. This one opened with audio right away with an animatic to go with it of yesterday’s events. The person animating had drawn themselves holding Eclipse and hugging them.

“What happened? I don’t know. Don’t worry, don’t worry. Look, I’m here to help you.” Then it shifted to the animator screaming at KC. “Listen, listen, listen, listen! Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! Get out!” Then to Blood Moon and Harvest Moon. “You amaze me every time.” Harvest Moon was chuckling by the end of it, as was Blood Moon an Sirius.

“Your fans are so protective of you three.” Sirius chuckled out.

“They certainly are.” Harvest commented and clicked to the next one, which started with the animator activating one of the gun barrels and pointing it at KC with Harvest and Blood comforting Eclipse in the background.

“I hope you bulletproof or this about to hurt.” Was aimed at KC before the animator’s character jumped toward KC with the barrel.

“They are very protective of Eclipse.” Sirius smiled.

“As expected. They got hurt pretty bad from what we can tell on top of already having injured themself trying to finish the bot LC is having them make. That was why he hurt her in the first place was over a stupid nonsentient bot he wants and she didn’t finish it completely by the time he got back with me and Blood Moon.”

“I hate your father.”

“So do we now. He was fine at first with me and Bloody, he’s very much a decent parent to us, but he abuses and neglects Eclipse and we love them so that’s unacceptable.” Harvest told him.

“Well, thank you everyone for the pictures, fanart, and videos. I’m not sorry for scaring that one guard who sent Eclipse that picture of me, you scared me more. Thank you for watching. Like, comment, and subscribe if you liked the video. See you next time on the Eclipse, Blood Moon, and Harvest Moon Show. Our Eclipse should be back soon once Moon can fix them.” Harvest Moon did the outro and sighed posting the video, face in their hands.

“Hey, are you alright?” Sirius asked.

“I’m so worried about Eclipse.” Harvest admitted through their tears.

“They’ll be okay, Harvest.” Sirius rubbed their back and let them cry against him, which only made them cling onto him to cry themself out.

17 notes · View notes

messengerofmechs · 1 year

Note

OHOHOH Gear, Package, Crown and Family for Castor and Crow?

Ooooooo thanks for the ask :)

⚙️ GEAR - what are your ocs thoughts on science & art? which do they give more importance to? how much value do they place on each?

Pollux is basically a huge museum. There's a lot of emphasis on creation and curating and a lot of value is placed on art. Neither Castor or Crow were directly involved with the museums and exhibits but they were definitely part of their jobs.

Science isn't neglected, but it's not the ideal. Crow definitely values the forensic sciences, and Castor is mainly concerned about what new technologies could do for Pollux on a large scale.

📦 PACKAGE - what are some "most likely to..." that can apply to them?

I think this refers to like those things in high-school yearbooks? That's how I'll answer anyway.

Crow - Most likely to start a true crime podcast. Most likely to be in your vents at 3 am.

Castor - Most likely to embark of a quest for bloody revenge. Most likely to master the stoic thousand yard stare despite really needing a good cry.

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

Crow has dreams of being a big-name detective some day, but they're rapidly being eclipsed with, you know. Everything. Guy's in survival mode, he doesn't know what his future is going to be like and that terrifies him.

Castor didn't want to be remembered as Pollux's greatest speaker ever, but she wanted to be a good one. Now, she really doesn't want to be the last one. If she's going to be the speaker that failed she's also going to be the speaker that sets it right.

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

Augh going right for the jugular. And also right into to a big gaping hole in my charactizarions. I guess there has to be loved ones left behind when Pollux fell.

I definitely envision that the Ciztens onboard the Dirge have banded together into a support group, despite only being acquaintances or strangers beforehand. (Fun fact Crow and Midnight Luxury Channel have beef, one of Crow's first assignments was a scandal involving MLC.)

Castor's remains a bit distant from them however, every time she sees them the guilt starts.

Aether and Castor had a frequent working relationship beforehand, with Aether in charge of managing Pollux's own prized collection/exhibit of alien vehicles. Aether is the only one out of the surviors to have known Castor personally before everything went to shit.

Castor had a command staff that she was quite close with, but they were divided up in trying to manage the crisis and subsequently put completely out of reach. There was the speaker before Castor that trained her, who she also holds a deep respect for.

And of course, Pollux itself, who Castor fears for most of all.

Crow has his mentors who pulled him from the well, along with his old squad on the police force, all of whom he misses terribly.

#Ask game #OC: Castor #OC: Detective Crow #Woman module #Collapses that was so much OC lore....

1 note · View note

dzpenumbra · 2 years

Text

1/19/23

Cat's fussy tonight. She's getting a bit spoiled with me running the faucet for her so she can drink it. She was very spoiled with that for a long time, and I learned the hard way that leaving a faucet slowly running 24/7 is... not great for a faucet. But she just really seems to like it. I've had a project in the back of my mind for both of us for a while now, I just don't know how I'm going to pull it off. First thought was, "I need to get her a fountain," which of course branches into, "I need to make her a fountain," which goes to, "I need to make us a fountain." And then I go... "wait, I could make like... an actual running stream. Like a natural stream of running water with a pump on it... built into a table. Like a mini zen garden kinda thing, built into a big deep table, with an actual river running through it, maybe even a waterfall for her to drink from." And then it goes to, "holy shit, I can even make the whole thing from completely natural materials, and have like... living moss growing in it, real plants. Not just stone and sand, but like... soil and plants."

I get so excited when I can see these projects so vividly! And I really will commit to finishing a project like that. I just... immediately consider my current list of projects, which is... 11 long? And that's just the repeatable ones, there are more on the one-off list. And it just... feels like other projects should get center stage. Like getting furniture for my house. Like making the two necklaces I've been putting off for like... weeks. Like making music. Like designing the new mahogany coat hanger rack. The list keeps going. And I just... ugh, I just wish I had company, honestly. An extra set of hands to pull a few all-nighters, listen to some great music and crank out like 5 of these awesome projects.

I thought streaming was going to be this. And I'll tell you exactly why it isn't. It may not be what you think. Take a look at what I'm looking for up above - company to listen to music and either make art with me or keep me company while I do it. And guess why that doesn't work. Hmm... I wonder.

Let me get this "pseudo-political" rant out of the way, because it very clearly has been crippling me for a while, and drove me down a very dark path to try to avoid it. I, as a creator, do not want any fucking trouble. I just want to make my things, and share my ideas, and if you don't like them, you can change the channel. It's not that hard. But there has been a steady push to whitewash and family-friendly-ize all streaming platforms over the past... well, majority of a decade now. It was not always like this. And I guarantee what happened is that cable TV started dying, so people who used to work for cable TV came over to streaming platforms, YT and the like, and... just made cable 2.0. Who needs an FCC when you have a totalitarian stranglehold over what TV shows stay on the air and what don't. It's a different organism, yet we're still playing by TV's rules. It feels archaic, and it leaves me... creatively anxious. I see it a lot.

How does this affect me, as a broadcaster? The same as my writing. If I swear, which I do frequently, and some bitchy Karen parent in the Bible belt or something reports me for "obscenity", I lose my ability to stream. Not just lose my ability to make money, my channel gets shut down. I lose my ability to maintain an audience, to gain viewers, to grow. If I don't move to a different platform, I can lose momentum entirely. I saw it happen to a somewhat-known comedian I used to Twitch mod for. He got banned for having the word "nipples" in his username. For over a month. He had to go to a personal connection that knew someone at Twitch to get his username manually switched to his actual name, just to be able to stream again. And that did a number on him. Point being, even if you're making a joke, even if you're just speaking your casual language... if you're a smaller (not a Partner, I guess) streamer, you're kinda just shit out of luck if an automated system guns you down. And that anxiety hangs over all our heads every day. Try being creative when, if your joke doesn't land, a robot bans you from that comedy club and every support line is automated. You're just... done. Because one cranky Karen decided she needed to take out her lack of supervising her child on you.

Now, I can even push past that, because I don't really swear that much honestly, and my humor is really not that crude at all, not like it used to be. What gets me now... is music. It's the ass-backwards system the record labels decided to put into place, on their endless automated crusade to remove music from the internet. How ironic is that? The industry devoted to spreading music is now pretty much the exclusive source of music censorship and removal. They are systematically rooting out the spread of music globally, every day. They fucking automated the process too, so they can't even claim they're providing jobs for people here. They are just a vacuum sucking up culture and mulching it, so they can force listeners onto music streaming platforms, where they have a stranglehold on the market.

Now here's a thought I had earlier that I think could solve that whole thing, if they actually gave a fuck about like... music. And personal choice. And all the free fucking exposure they're denying their artists. So... they clearly have bots that can identify songs very quickly, like the whole Shazaam model, right? So... why the fuck are these companies not working directly with streaming sites, and adding in a plugin to the site's functionality where it has a whole "Now Playing" thing provided by the streaming platform, in tandem with the real-time song recognition bots that the record companies have clearly dumped their ill-gotten gains into. So when the streamer is playing a song, any fucking song, a little thing pops up that says "Now Playing" and the name of the artist, and the name of the song. And when you click on that, it brings you directly to a place where you can buy the album, support the artist, see show listings, etc. I'm coming back from my tangent, I swear, buckle up, we're swinging it back around. Why the fuck wouldn't they invest in that?! That way, streamers are - automatically, and without the need for compensation - promoting music that they love, sharing it with a potentially new audience. It's free fucking publicity. And then, the streamers don't have to look over their goddamn shoulders for LawyerBot3000 swooping in and trying to demonetize their videos, automatically mute their VoDs and risk getting their channel struck. And... here it is, I'm connecting the dots... then streamers don't have to do 6 hour art streams listening to generic copyright free elevator music.

No one should be subjected to that, that's like a form of corporal punishment. Not streamers (who are unpaid employees, but I'm not gonna get into that). Not the audience (who are paying customers... well... some of them). No one. No one should be required to play "state-approved music". That's like... fascist shit. It's fucked up. But the people with the big pockets and aggressive lawyers won. And that's the world we live in. So... that's the primary reason why I dread going back to streaming. Because if I stream my art and listen to good music, which is all I want to do... I risk getting my channel shut down. As though listening to Mars Volta, making beaded necklaces and talking to my audience is... illegal. As though it's... stealing from someone? As though it is an act that is worthy of punishment. Worthy of revoking the "privilege of a workspace", the "privilege of access to an audience". This has always struck me as... "shoot first, ask questions never", draconian, fearful, shortsighted and, most of all, not even remotely in the interest of preserving creative expression.

So... I don't know what to do now. It's deeply upsetting. Because I've really tried for a long time to do marathon streams with either no music (nearly impossible) or generic music (I literally start falling asleep and have to end stream). It just doesn't work. And all I want to do is like... put on good music, make my art, and share with people the music that I love. That was where my creative spark was born. In the living rooms of friends of mine, drawing in my sketchbook and sharing music. "I show you Atreyu, you show me Radiohead." "I show you Method Man, you show me Gojira." And later, in the studios in college, plugging the iPod into speakers, putting on a pot of coffee and painting while lying down on the floor with an endless playlist all night. Tool, Mars Volta, Tides of Man, Coheed and Cambria, The Syncope Threshold, Circa Survive, Between the Buried and Me, the list just goes on and on. I introduced so many bands to friends of mine that way, and vice versa. That's how I found The Sound of Animals Fighting, Bring Me the Horizon, Parkway Drive, SiKTh, After the Burial (one of my favorite bands of all time), the Dear Hunter, etc. etc. And now, when I watch streams - which is like... the only social interaction I have... the only music they play is the same generic copyright free muzak I listen to when I go to sleep. Or nothing at all.

It kills the exchange of music. Which is sad. Why? Money. So yeah, that blows.

I don't want to sit on this all night, I've been going for a while here, I had a big point I wanted to cover.

I dug into all that because of the whole... social thing. Social anxiety has been plaguing me for a while... and I explored that in therapy today. And it's really jostling how... quick your... ugh, I'm struggling for words... control? Need to control things? To make them perfect? In gaming, we call it min-maxing. The need to optimize, to make things the best they can be. Minimum loss, maximum gain. It's crazy how quickly and stealthily that can sneak up. And it embarrasses me sometimes, because I'm always priding myself in my spontaneity and improvisation. Well, that might be the spontaneity of... Past Me, at this point. Winters are notoriously rough for me, and being in moments of recovering from acute trauma (seems like that's the majority of the time the past few years...) as well. They do tend to make depression skyrocket. Then I get into anxious mode. And anxiety's job is to... protect, right? To keep safe? It's an alarm system to keep me notified of threats around me.

And how do I respond to that alarm system? Well, the healthy way would be... not to ignore the smoke alarm... not to assume the entire house is burning down... but to pop your head in and check, gather information. So when I'm getting into social anxiety, I'm noticing that the majority of it is kinda... bookended on either side of the interaction. Kinda like stagefright has been for me - I get super anxious before I get on stage, and I kick myself about how I "could've done better" after. But during, it's really not a huge issue. Which I think is really a blessing, it has not always been that way. But once I find the Flow, it gets really easy. Because like... I'm weird, right? So how can I fuck up "weird"? XD

Welp, min-max brain has a few things to say about that. And that's the anxiety component. "How can I maximize my odds of meeting someone who isn't a complete sociopath?", "How can I make my next social interaction easier for me, considering I've been 'out of the game' for a while?", "How can I get help from others to 'hold my hand'?" That's all preemptive, predictive shit - that's Future. That's like... neurotic scrying. <crystal ball mystic voice> "I seeee the fuuuuture, I see that I will meet someone who will be suuuuper controooolling and when I try to set healthy boundaries by asking for what I want/need politely and saying no when they cross a line they will attaaaack meeeee." </crystal ball mystic voice> And my manifestation of that thought is... "how can I prevent this certainty?" "What plan can I come up with now, to give me a safety net, or at least armor, for when this undoubtedly happens."

Now... I get why I do this. This is a very recurring trauma, it happens all the time. And it's something I really do need to work on. But like... this way of addressing it... by sitting on the bench and trying to come up with the perfect plan or something? It clearly doesn't work. And it inflates the fuck out of my anxiety. It builds up the anticipation. And what I really feel like I need to do instead, is learn how to properly recognize it in the moment when it's happening... (which it will, just probably not as often as my anxiety thinks) and I'm pretty sure I can... and then... excuse myself. Just go, "oh shit, I something came up, I gotta go." It's not a lie. What came up is "I'm not safe right now" and telling that person why I'm not safe? That puts me in danger, it provokes the bear. So... I need to remember that I always have that option in my pocket, and if the other person is really committed to reflecting on their actions and addressing that moment, I can make myself available to provide my perspective so they can work on their own shit. But I am really bad at walking away. So yeah, that's my running plan for the preemptive anxiety.

The other half, as mentioned above, is after. "Wow, I just talked to that person for like 20 minutes, I have no idea what their name is because I never remember that, and I never introduced myself, and they just left... and we didn't exchange info... and... now they're gone. Forever. Okay... Great job, champ." Like... my first week here, actually I think it was my first or second night here. I met a man in the hallways that was like... under 10 years older than me, somewhere in my age range-ish. I was like... bee-lining back to my apartment with my chinese food delivery and he was walking around the building with his two kids. And I like... passed them. And he saw the back of my hoodie - it was a Born of Osiris hoodie that I like... never wear - and he commented on it and told me he went on tour with them doing sound design. I engaged genuinely, and we connected for like 30 seconds and it was nice. And we exchanged names, and he's on the floor above me. And then we said "see you around, I guess" and I haven't seen him since. And that was like... the past 5 connections I've made were really similar. And I'm guessing it's because I haven't been on Facebook since 2016 and connecting with people on social media is just... not a habit of mine? But you know what? Shame on them! They should be more experienced with this shit! That shouldn't fall entirely on my shoulders!

See, my brain tends to go... okay, I'm gonna correct myself... my depression brain tends to go, "wow, dude, you didn't give them your Instagram handle? How are they gonna get in touch? Carrier pigeon? They don't even know what unit you're in!" The paddle immediately comes out. And the intention is self-improvement, the intention is education/learning, but the methodology is brutish. And that, my friends, that is the big fucking lesson of the day. Well, one of two. We'll start with this one. Self-compassion. Being kind and gentle to yourself, through your methods of self-improvement. Teaching your inner critic - "how could you do that?", "what were you thinking?", "you should know better" - to sound less like an outraged driver stuck in rush hour traffic... and more like - "I should try this next time", "I forgot to mention my name, I'll try to remember that next time". Like... learning from an experience rather than trying to 'teach yourself a lesson'.

I have been getting so much better lately at having my kind, gentle inner-voice come out first after things go wrong. Like "wow, I just talked to this dude in the hallway, and it was perfectly natural, that's awesome!" And the road-rager comes in second, "you forgot to say what unit you were in. How are you going to follow up on this? How did you forget that? Missed opportunity, way to blow it." No matter how good a mood I'm in, no matter how well I'm doing mental health wise, that motherfucker lives in my head every moment of every day. And I need to negotiate with him. And, begrudgingly, counter-intuitively, I need to be kind and understanding towards him. Because he's me. He's just my Depression Me. He means well. He has very keen observational skills. He's very passionately defensive. But he, like anxiety (outside of emergencies) is a passenger and consultant, not a driver. If that makes sense. He doesn't call the shots. And maintaining that hierarchy of inner-voices, and practicing that regularly, like every day... that's what's trained my congratulatory, kind, compassionate, gentle voice to come out first. I will say, it's practice that is well worth doing.

I said there were two lessons of the day. The first was addressing the narrative we use in reflecting on events, self-compassion, a focus on learning and growth rather than outrage, frustration, all that shit. The second lesson... has more to do with the temporal aspect.

See, anxiety is very fixated on Future. The 'what ifs' is what my old bandmate and I used to call anxiety. My therapist today called them the "should's" and that's a very interesting addition. Either way, temporally, it's all fixated on the future. It's attempted precognition, predictive thinking. "I saw this in the Past, and I think it's going to happen in the Future, so I should do something about it." Depression is a very different kind of beast. It doesn't really serve a practical purpose other than to just shit on you. Anxiety is very protective, depression is just like a fucking giant ball-and-chain. And depression, it seems to me, but maybe it just conveniently fits into my narrative right now... is pretty Past based. Fixated on what happened, or didn't happen, and... that's it... and "you should feel bad for that." No plan, no lesson, no growth. Just "you tripped, you're clumsy, dumbass." That's all. Real life-of-the-party, that one. So what are we missing here? Hmm?

Now. We're missing Present Mind. And this is the muscle that I am flexing right this very moment. Hi. I am Present Mind. I don't plan what I say, I don't think back to what I was going to say, I just say what I think and it comes out and that's just what it is. It's a stream of thoughts and feelings connected together and put as accurately as possible onto paper... if my damn fingers can keep up with it. I've been practicing stream-of-consciousness writing since age... 16? Something close to that? So... around 20 years. Nearly all of my music lyrics and poetry were written in pen on paper without thinking (or just thinking only about rhyme schemes and letting the words just fall into place) and without crossing out words. My primary form of musical expression is improvisation. And lately, I've been out of practice. Again, this is pretty much my only Flow practice, short of yoga, which has been great.

I need more of it. I need to break through that wall again. I feel so deeply compelled to seek that liberation. To free myself from this need to have things be the right way. To just... start. And just see where it goes. To get the water pump, and get the table, and get rocks, and just... see where it goes. Fuck a schematic. Wing it. Just... google waterproofing a bit first! You know... Like... we can improvise and be liberated and all that, but like... let's not flood the downstairs neighbors. XD

The neuron connection my therapist helped remind me of, with the Now... it brought something to my head instantly. "BE HERE NOW". It was written over and over around a circle on the cover of a book by Ram Dass that an very odd alcoholic tattooed stripper chick with large fake breasts who went by the alias "Doll Parts" gifted to me. I swear to god, you can't make this shit up. And, in hindsight, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess this woman wasn't really using this book the way it was intended... because she was trying to seduce me while she had a young daughter and was living with someone she was dating... so... yeah... the second I found out about that dude I was in the wind. But she bought me this book first. And it is basically Ram Dass's illustrated story of his spiritual awakening, and it has a lot of stuff in the end that's like... practices and rituals and stuff. Super useful if you're into that kinda stuff. I plan on referencing it soon to find a meditative practice that I can actually integrate into my life consistently. And I just always felt like that phrase "be here now" is just... everything you need to know. The who? "you". what? "be." where? "here." when? "now." I guess all that leaves is how? And if you don't know how to just be right here, right now? Oh boy. Yep. Don't know what to say to that. But the reminder is one that wakes me up very quickly, one that speaks to me. One that I understand at a very deep level. When I see "be here now", I get it. It makes as much sense to me as "you are safe". It's like... permission to come back or something, in the way that "you are safe" is like permission to relax, it's really hard to describe.

So, I spent a big chunk of the night making art. Taking a piece of cardboard that I had left over, as I always tend to have, and making a decorative piece to hang on a wall somewhere in my house. It says in big gold letters with black outlining, "BE HERE NOW". And I'm going to just fill the damn thing with some improvised color designs. I think greens and yellows, I have never really had green play a big role in my life or works outside of camo pants, and I feel like it will pair with the gold pretty well. We'll see how it turns out.

I need to go to bed. I just really wanted to share my insights from today because I feel like they could be helpful to others. And to give myself plenty of room to expand and concretize that exploration.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

0 notes

whiteqnn · 3 years

Text

PURE [5] - Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

A/N: It’s been a while.

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

PURE [5]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix’s voice sounded out when the man repeated the same question for what seemed like the third time since he joined the call. The number of players showed 7 of them, which meant that they were still missing three people. Sure, they could start the game now, but it would be way more enjoyable and funny with a full lobby.

“Yeah, Toast will be here any moment. “Sykkuno replied right away. “He just texted me; he should join us in a few.”

“Cool. Anyone else?”

“I think Corpse was also supposed to join us, right? Not sure though why he isn’t here yet.”

“Oh, yeah, Corpse will be here soon too!” Jack suddenly chimed in with an explanation. “He said he needed to take care of something first, but he’ll be here before we start.”

“Great. But that means we’re still one person short.” Felix hummed when Toast’s little astronaut appeared in the lobby “Hey Toast."

“Hey man.”

“Do you have anyone coming?”

“I’m afraid not. I asked MrBeast, but he’s busy, so...”

“Well then, we can just start when Corpse is here, and maybe we’ll find someone in the meantime?” Dave suggested, earning a few hums of approval from the other players.

“Yeah, I think that’s the best option...” Jack agreed. But then his voice blared out in everyone’s headphones with excitement. “Ha! Corpse is bringing someone!”

“Who?”

“I dunno, he just texted me he has one coming and that’s all.”

“Hm, all right. Let’s wait then.”

***

Corpse fidgeted with his phone, glancing between its screen and the chat in his stream. People were already asking countless questions, but rather than answering them, he was waiting for Y/N to call him. He was nervous - the girl still hadn’t commented on his request.

The idea to invite her to the lobby wasn’t spontaneous. In fact, he’d been thinking about it for quite some time now, but never found the courage to actually ask if she would like to join them for the game.

It’s been almost a month now since that memorable phone call. A month since Y/N last played with her friends; a month since she considerably reduced her social media usage.

Sure, she was still active on her youtube channel, but not as much as before the whole haters situation. No matter how hard she tried to just ignore them and simply continue her career, she just couldn’t. There were still these nagging thoughts at the back of her mind, reminding her of all those people and their comments, their messages. It seemed like a good idea to take a short break and sort everything out.

Her fans understood it. They were obviously sad that her videos weren’t as frequent as before, but everyone knew what the situation looked like and that Y/N needed some time for herself.

Her audience knew it, and so did her friends. Especially Corpse.

The man kept his word and talked to the girl whenever she wanted to. Which, in the end, was almost everyday. Although at the beginning their conversations mostly focused on her current problem and dealing with it, their topics broadened over the time.

At one point though, Y/N started worrying that maybe she’s annoying him with her so frequent calls. She thought that she shouldn’t bother him that much - even if talking to him was what really helped her cope with her problems. He already had enough on his plate, and sharing her own concerns with him suddenly seemed like a very selfish thing to do.

But she quickly realized how wrong she was for thinking like that. When one day she didn’t call, figuring out that she should stop troubling him with her own issues, she was very surprised when Corpse reached out to her himself. He expressed how worried he got when she didn’t call, and when she explained what was the reason, he spent the next fifteen minutes lecturing her that she should never think she’s bothering him.

From that day on, they talked every single day. And they talked about almost everything.

Corpse enjoyed their late night-talks more than anything. He liked to listen to Y/N talk about the things she finds exciting, her hobbies, and her dreams. Hell, she could talk about what she ate for breakfast, and he would still listen with interest.

And even though they haven’t seen each other in person, even though she still hasn’t seen his face, they managed to get really close during those past weeks. For an outside observer (who also didn’t have access to Twitter) they would seem like a couple of very good friends.

But not for Corpse.

He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly did it happen. They were talking one evening and Y/N was telling him about the TV series she had finished watching recently. He listened intently and watched as her facial expressions changed from excited to frustrated, as she was enumerating everything she liked and disliked about the series finale.

And then he suddenly got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, and simply couldn’t take his eyes off her.

He tried to play it off and act as if nothing changed, but he couldn’t stop his heart from doing backflips whenever she laughed at one of his dumb jokes or called him partner. It was still a running joke between them and among the group of their friends, but there was something in the way she said it that made him instantly smile like an idiot.

He also started paying more attention to the hashtags on Twitter and Instagram. #PartnersInCrime was still rather popular, even though it was a month since anyone last used this phrase on stream. Corpse also found out that #Y/Nforthebride was trending for some time; he even managed to stumble across a few fanarts.

There was this urge to send them to Y/N, but he was too nervous that it would make things awkward between them... After all, he didn’t know how she felt about that whole shipping thing.

That’s why he decided to just leave things between them as they are, and be happy that he’s at least her friend.

Corpse nearly jumped out of his skin, when he was brought back to reality by the sound of an upcoming FaceTime call. Y/N’s photo appeared on his screen, her smiley face which he had assigned as her contact photo. His lips corners curled up in a smile almost unwittingly.

“Hey Y/N/N” he said after answering the call.

“Hi Corpse” she smiled softly upon hearing his voice. Although the screen on her side was dark, she didn’t mind not seeing Corpse’s face. She respected his wish to remain faceless and enjoyed their conversations anyway.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Just editing the new video. I guess I’ll upload it in the morning... but I’m not sure yet.”

“Well let me know then, I wanna be the first one to see it.”

“Sure thing, Corpse” she chuckled, lowering her gaze bashfully. Corpse just looked at her face for a moment, unable to stop smiling to himself. Then he remembered why they were talking in the first place.

“So... have you seen my text?” Y/N sighed at his question but nodded her head slowly. “And what do you think?”

“I don’t know, Corpse...” she ran a hand through her hair in a nervous gesture. “...if that’s a good idea, I mean.”

“Well, it’s been a while. No pressure though, if you don’t wanna play then it’s totally fine.” he quickly clarified. “I just thought it would be fun if you joined us, even if just for a moment. I’m sure everyone would go crazy.”

Her smile widened slightly at his words, but she still didn’t look convinced. Sure, it was tempting to join them. She wanted to do it each time Sean or Felix bombarded her with messages and codes to the lobby, both inviting her to join the group in the game. But then she remembered how people reacted to her appearance in their streams... and suddenly it didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

“We’re gonna play on Polus...” he added after a moment when she still didn’t say anything. “That one map with the planetary base... there’s a lava pit, y’know. Just saying...”

She laughed wholeheartedly at his words, remembering their last game when Corpse jumped into the lava for her.

“Sykkuno’s gonna be there as well” Corpse continued. “And I promise I won’t kill you this time.”

“Even if I’m the last player alive?” she joked.

“Even then, Y/N.”

Corpse stifled a laugh, as she cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes slightly as if trying to spot him in the darkness.

“Are you streaming, Corpse?” she then asked.

“Not yet. I’m gonna start the stream as soon as you say yes, though.”

“Oh c’mon” she laughed at his words “That’s emotional blackmail!”

“Maybe. Is it working?” he asked.

Y/N let out a heavy breath and ran a hand down her face. Corpse watched in anticipation as she seemed to have some internal battle with herself. He hoped that she’s gonna agree, he really missed playing with her.

“All right, then.” she suddenly said, and his breath hitched in his throat. “I’m gonna stay for a few rounds I guess...”

“Wait, really?” he asked, a smile on his face only widening.

“Well, yeah, partner.” she replied, which made his cheeks go warm “Your imposter techniques haven’t been very effective lately... Someone needs to help you out, or you’re gonna lose your title of the king of the Imposters.”

“Oh, is that’s how it is now?” he laughed in fake shock. “I wouldn’t have to worry about losing the title if my accomplice hadn’t left me all alone!”

“All right, all right.” she giggled at his accusations. “Your accomplice is on her way to support you.”

Corpse smiled even wider at the sound of her laughter. Her eyes shined with happiness when she was giggling, which only brought out their E/C color. The fact that his stupid babbling was the reason for her smile was making him feel extremely proud of himself.

“But just so you know... I still have no idea how this map works, so I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to guide me around it...”

“Y’know you could as well just say you want to hang out with me...”

“Corpse!” she laughed, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment.

“Just kidding Y/N” he chuckled at her reaction. “Of course I’m gonna guide you, don’t worry.”

“Okay then...” she said after a moment, looking at the screen again. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Will you send me the code, please?”

“Sure I will, Y/N”

“Okay. See you later, partner” she smiled brightly.

“See you, partner.”

When Y/N ended the call, Corpse let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair, before moving to sit behind his desk.

It was only after he started the stream that he realized he was blushing. Not only because Y/N would join them, but because there was also another thing he wanted to ask her about, but didn’t find the courage to yet...

***

By the time Y/N turned on her computer and started the game, Corpse has already sent her the code, and there was a Discord invite waiting for her as well. She bit her lip nervously as her heartbeat quickened.

Was she nervous? As hell.

She did everything she could to avoid being in unnecessary spotlight since she started receiving those hate messages. Perhaps escaping the problem wasn’t the best solution, but it definitely was a comfortable one. People wouldn’t have a reason to hate on her if she disappeared.

But then she couldn’t say no to Corpse. And truth to be said - she really missed playing with her friends. From what she’d seen on Twitter, the lobby would be filled with those she’d already played with, so she wasn’t that nervous before the game. What she was nervous about though, was how people would react.

Accepting Corpse’s request was something she did due to the sudden rush of courage. And now there was no coming back.

She knew Corpse would understand if she changed her mind... but she heard how excited he was when she had agreed. She couldn’t do it to him.

So, once she’d taken a deep breath and put her headphones on, Y/N accepted the invite and braced herself for the inevitable chaos that was bound to take place in the call. She decided to wait with joining the lobby though - at least until they realize she’s with them.

“..the fuck you’re talking about?!” Felix’s voice was the first thing she heard, which made her roll her eyes with a smile. “It’s not my fault I sound like that! At least I don’t have a liar voice like Rae!”

“HEY!” the girl yelled “I don’t have a liar voice!”

“You do, you’re using it even now!” Jack argued, much to Rae’s dismay.

“What is going on here” Corpse’s deep voice sounded out suddenly.

“Oh, you’re here! Finally” Sykkuno immediately welcomed him with his always happy voice.

“Yeah, sorry that I’m late guys.”

“No worries, man” Pewdiepie spoke up again. “We were just talking about playing the voice card and that you’re basically the only one who can do it.”

“Not fair at all!” Rae chimed in, making Corpse chuckle.

“The voice card...” he hummed after a moment, before adding. “I wouldn’t really say I’m the only one though...”

“Well who else then? Everyone else either starts laughing or have a liar voice” Dave asked, and Rae scoffed at the last words.

“Well what about my guest?”

Y/N inhaled sharply, realizing that now she should probably reveal herself.

“Oh, right! Who you’re bringing man?” Sean asked with curiosity.

That’s when Y/N typed in the game code, and her white astronaut appeared in the lobby.

“Wait, who’s- HOLY SHIT” Sean all but yelled, when realization hit him. Y/N laughed loudly at his reaction, and her voice only seemed to prove to everyone that she really was there.

“KIDDO WHAT THE FUCK” Felix reflected Jack’s response, yelling over his friend.

“Oh my god, hi!”

“What a surprise!” Y/N managed to catch Sykkuno’s words. “It’s so amazing to have you here, Y/N/N!”

“As I live and breathe.” another voice spoke up, and Toast’s little astronaut came face to face with her white bean. “My lifelong nemesis. Back here snap my neck again, huh?”

“Yeah, happy to hear you too, Toast” Y/N giggled at his words, then she adressed the whole group. “Hi guys.”

“Okay I did not expect that in the slightest” Sean laughed happily “You’re here kiddo!”

“I am” she smiled from ear to ear, even though they couldn’t see her.

“Wait- Corpse, is that the thing you had to take care of?” her best friend asked Corpse with suspicious voice.

“Well...” he trailed off and cleared his throat, making everyone laugh.

“That’s so great Y/N! We missed you so much!” Rae thundered over the bickering of the boys. “The game hasn’t been the same without you...”

“Agreed. I suddenly stopped dying.” Toast commented, making her roll her eyes with a laugh.

“I don’t know if I should be happy or fucking scared right now.” Felix laughed nervously. “With Corpse and Y/N? We’re fucked now, guys.”

“I promise I’ll go easy on you, I haven’t played in so long I think I forgot all my strategies...”

“Yeah, sure.” Toast’s forever suspicious voice made her smile wider. “Just don’t kill me in the first roung, okay? I won’t vote you off just stay the fuck away from me you little murderer.”

“Okay, I promise I won’t kill you...”

She couldn’t stop herself from laughing, and the smile remained on her face even when they started the game. It only seemed to widen, when she saw the sign Imposter on her screen.

Only to giggle hysterically when she realized that Toast was the other imposter...

And so the game went on with Y/N and Toast cooperating like perfect serial killers. Corpse did as he promised and guided her through the map, both of them being closely followed by Sykkuno. Because of that she’d just sabotage the map most of the time to give Toast opportunities to kill their friends, but eventually managed to sneak out when her two fellow crewmates were doing their tasks. It just so happen that Pewds was walking past her, and she might’ve accidentally snapped his neck...

“Goddamnit! I knew it! I fucking knew it was you!” Sean yelled once the game was over and Y/N saw the sign VICTORY on her screen, her small character standing next to Toast’s one. He was ejected at some point because Poki managed to walk in on him killing Rae, but Y/N remained undetected until the very end. Perhaps the fact that Corpse was one of the two crewmates who were left alive had something to do wtih it...

“That was rude” Pewds said in a whiny voice, clearly referring to their encounter which led to his death. “I was just happily walking around, doing my tasks like a good crewmate, and then boom! Y/N happened”

“I would say I’m sorry... but I’m really not” she laughed, making Felix gasp in shock.

“That’s what happens when you work with Toast!”

“Good game, Y/N. That was amazing” the man in question said appreciatively.

“Will you finally forgive me for killing you that one time if I say that being imposters with you was cool?” she laughed nervously.

“Actually... Yeah, I guess we can bury the hatchet now. AND we should team up more in the future.”

“Great!”

“Excuse me, what?” Corpse’s voice made the whole lobby laugh. “I don’t remember us cancelling our partnership, Y/N.”

“Corpse...”

“Are you trying to steal my accomplice from me Toast?”

“Well she’s a great partner in crime after all...” Toast deliberately used the phrase, making Corpse gasp.

“Hey! She’s my partner! Find yourself your own, Toast” Corpse joked, making Y/N laugh bashfully, her cheeks warming up at his words.

“Yeah yeah, I remember, don’t worry man. No one’s gonna take your partner in crime away from you...” Toast’s teasing voice made them all laugh, Corpse and Y/N included.

For the next few rounds Y/N played as a crewmate, running around the map with either Corpse or Sykkuno and doing her tasks. During meetings they joked and laughed, and for a moment, she stopped thinking about what people watching her friend’s streams might think about her presence. After all, there was at least a small chance that they didn’t think about it at all, and simply enjoyed watching their favoirte youtubers. Just as she enjoyed playing with her friends.

Oh, and by the way, Corpse kept his promise and didn’t kill her even when she was the last player alive...

It was soon time when everyone started slowly leaving the lobby, having played for over three hours. Y/N also said her goodbyes to the others and promised that she’d join them to play a game called Raft next week.

When she turned her computer off and threw herself on her bed, Y/N immediately grabbed her phone to call Corpse. He answered right away.

“Well hello, partner...” she rolled her eyes with a smile when he accented the last word. “Or should I say, traitor, instead?”

“Corpse... you know I would never betray you...”

“Well how can I be so sure, now that I know how cool it is to be imposters with Toast?” she knew he was joking, she could almost hear the smile in his voice.

“Not nearly as cool as it is with you, Corpse” Y/N grinned from ear to ear when Corpse scoffed.

“I spare your life so many times and that’s what I get in return? You cheat on me with Toast?” he said in disbelief “I’m disappointed, Y/N, I really am.”

“I would never!” she laughed through her words, even though her cheeks were now red because of Corpse’s words. “You’re the best partner in crime, Corpse, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else!”

Not only in the game, she thought.

“Hmm, alright. Let’s say I believe you.” he said after a moment of thinking.

“I mean it, Corpse...” Y/N said after calming down from her laughter. “I... I really wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“Well, first of all for inviting me to today’s game... I really had lots of fun, it was great to play and talk with the others. And I wouldn’t be in the lobby if not for you...” Y/N mumbled, before verbalizing her previous thoughts. “And I also wanted to thank you for just... you know... being my friend. My real life partner in crime. I just wanted you to know I’m really glad I met you...”

Corpse was silent for a good few moments, and Y/N started panicking that maybe she said something wrong, or maybe he found her spontaneous confession funny, or worse, dumb. She was almost ready to somehow laugh it all off, when his voice cut her off.

“Thank you, Y/N. It really means a lot to me too.” he sounded like he had some troubles with speaking, which made Y/N furrow her brows in worry.

“Is everything okay, Corpse?”

“Yeah, I...” he stuttered, then laughed nervously. “I just didn’t expect that and... yeah. It’s not something I hear on a daily basis, especially from someone like you.”

Someone like me?

“But what you said... it’s mutual.” he said after a moment, and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from grinning like an idiot. “You’re the best partner in crime I could ask for. And not only in the game.”

She could as well just pass out there and there...

“So uhm... there was one thing I wanted to ask you...”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if maybe... you know, if you’d have some time... and if you’d want to of course... would you maybe like to visit me here in San Diego?”

Yeah, passing out seems like a good idea.

***

This is not the last part.

TAG LIST:

@golden-chan @pillowjj @afuckingunicornn @love-and-virtues @ignooynim @crapimahuman @hannahjsworld @laugh-like-the-moon @fallengoddess772 @kingric03 @dolphinpink310 @paigeyisme @bunnychano3o @dxrtygxrl28 @z-nyx @baby-iyania @trashygeek @qmalley @yn-dreamlife @queenshadow142003 @daughterofsmokeandbone23 @my-little-art-world99 @yoongi-holland @rinarecommends @psychoticunicornsblog @goldensunshinestyle @unstableye @pastelvixenbeauty @weallneednamjesus @benakenalove @corpsesimpp @xenos-sonex @jellicorn05 @must-be-a-weasley-92 @keijikunn @infinitely-kate @thisshitisfuckingdifficult @summerbbygirl @mygirlviolet @eat-your-veggies @evans-dejong @jeffxx @weepingdonuthumancookie @myinnergayistakingover @i-love-scott-mccall @thecanterburywitch @annshit @blood-of-fandoms @namjoons-crabssss @guadu-chan @harleyharleycrow @stormyskys13 @soft4kei @ukai-hoe @that-chick212 @campcampie @cookiewhoree @ukiyolixx @princess-skate @newtaholic-staygold @unknown-and-invisible @cherry-piee @marvelenthusiast3000 @apples-of-february @lovelybrit @wineandionysus @faepetersen @vincent-stargogh @idalinette @ggsmashgg @browneyespinkhair @uwucorpse @fluffylittellama-blog @yoshigguk @queentorresstuff @becihadshawn @winged-reader @x3musicismylife @musubipost @missdox @honeyames @dark-o-room @izthefangirl @l0verl0ser @laurenfangirlsout @asianfrustration13 @hopelessfluff @sacrifice-me-please @stopicouldhaavedroppedmycrossant @sleepingalaska @strangenerdsstuff @otakuartist05 @blossom-702 @astream-ofconsciousness @mythicalamphitrite @infinitelycharmed23 @ s1utforfictionalcharacters @ abrokenlink @ lestrangeesme @laazullii @ avesagittarius @ smiithys @zenx2003 @vintagexparker @write-from-the-heart @goalexis123 @ trrcelovesyou @rebloggingeverything @homosexualjohnwayne @xprettyqueenx @just-a-stan @tenebrisirae

#corpse husband #corpse imagines #corpse x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband x reader #youtubers x reader #imagine

825 notes · View notes

heximagines · 2 years

Text

Ya know whe you spend a bunch of time around somone and you start to notice all their annoying quirks and habits??? Yeah...

Annoying habits of the Hooker Clan

Mae

Mae eats when she's bored. And she's frequently bored. There isn't much for them to do when they're just on he road getting from place to place so you can bet she's the first one out of the vehicle at the gas station, on the hunt for snacks. And she will hoard them under her seat. She's especially fond of those drumstick ice cream cones.

She does not share her snacks. Get your own.

She always has to have her hands busy too. I wouldn't necessarily call her fidgety but she likes to be doing something. Either playing with Caleb's hands or crafting something. I think she could for sure crochet. She gives me the vibe.

She also strikes me as a skin picker. Constantly pulling the skin off around her nails, it heals so fast though it's not noticeable unless someone catches her doing it. Caleb will catch her and stop her on occasion, more often than not though she'll just start picking at his skin too.

Mae tells stories that don't make any fucking sense. Like she skips around all over the place and sometimes she'll mention a person you don't even know like you know them which leads into a side tangent about them. It's really best to just go along for the ride and act like you understand.

Caleb

He chews and spits tobacco, and he's so fucking loud about it. Even worse is he leaves the gas station cups he spits into just laying around. A few have gotten knocked over in whatever vehicle they're in.

Caleb insists that he knows how to do things that he does not know how to do. He bragged up and down about what a good mechanic he was to everyone but the second one of their vehicles has a faulty starter and Jesse sent him under to bang on it.... Well it became clear that he exaggerated his abilities.

Caleb doesn't mean to be but he's just a tad bit too rough. He's still adjusting to his vampire strength and can get a bit carried away. Mae has scolded him more than a few times while they were play wrestling for actually managing to bruise her.

He gets the ick in the middle of feeding sometimes. Because of this he's almost accidentally turned a few people. He had to get into the habit of killing before feeding. I guess you could sa he's the vampire equivalent of a picky eater. He also wont feed on anyone who he thinks looks gross.

He's convinced he's a real smooth talker who can get himself out of any situation. He's really not though. The others do not let him talk to cops when they get stopped.

Jesse

He's always cracking his joints and it's like conceringly loud. On more than a few occasions Diamondback was convinced he'd broken a finger or two, only for him to flex them and assure her they were in working order.

Jesse blows his nose into his hand. It's super gross, everyone hates it, he doesn't care. It kinda goes back to before he was turned he never saw the point in handkerchiefs and tissues weren't really a thing. He just doesn't think much of it.

He's got a bad temper. Usually he keeps it pretty contained but certain things still just make him snap. Mostly when he feels like his leadership isn't being respected or he feels like his control over a situation is slipping. Since Jesse was turned he felt like some of his autonomy had been stripped away so any situation where he loses control is triggering for him.

He falls asleep watching TV but if anyone tries to switch the channel he immediately wakes up and goes, "Put it back, I was watching that."

He picks favorites and everyone knows it. More often than not he lets Severen and Diamondback get away with shit the others wouldn't dare to try. It can cause a bit of tension. Thankfully it tends to just kind of blow over though.

Diamondback

She takes hour long showers, like the kind that use up all the hot water. She actually hates being grimey but it just kinda comes with their lifestyle so she takes full advantage when they stop. Because if this habit the others have learned to get in there before she can.

She makes little sound effects with everything she does. Jesse finds it really cute but the others get annoyed after a while.

She starts arguments just for fun. She craves stimulating conversations and outlets for her aggression and it's a great way to kill 2 birds with one stone. She rarely takes these arguments seriously, though she is in it to win, but they can really get some of the others fired up. She thinks it's funny if someone gets mad at her for articulating her point better.

Speaking of outlets for aggression she stabs holes in everything with that damn knife. And if she isn't stabbing holes she's target practicing, even if the vehicle is moving. She's hit Severen a few times "by accident".

She moms everyone. There's no getting around it. At best it's sweet and makes everyone feel secure buuuuut sometimes. Man she can really just be up your ass and overbearing. I feel like it's a little bit of overcompensation because she can never really have her own child.

Homer

He throws tantrums, bad ones. Totally throwing himself on the ground screaming kicking tantrums. Thankfully they're far and few between but they do happen. He just has a really hard time regulating his emotions. He still has the brain of a child but he's coping with a lot of adult issues so he melts down.

Picked up Jesse's bad habit of blowing his nose into his hand. Probably the only one other than Jess who doesn't find it absolutely gross because he also still picks his nose. Like openly picks his nose. He doesn't care. He wipes his boogers on other people. Mostly Caleb.

Will whine and yell about how stupid he thinks a show or movie is and how he doesn't want to watch it but you still catch him side eyeing the screen during all the important parts. Of you call him out he insults you as a distraction.

He's really moody. Could be having a great time one moment and the next he's moping or pissed off. Its mostly because he's actually in his head a lot and reads into things too much, putting himself in a mood.

He lies for no reason at all other than he thinks it's fun. He sort of adapted this habit from Diamondback's play arguing. It's the same concept for both of them. It's just stimulating.

Severen

I've said it before and I'll say it again, he fucking stares dude. And he does it shamelessly. If you catch him he's not looking away he's going to keep staring. It makes people super fucking uncomfortable. But honestly it's usually a sign that he likes you. He's trying to observe you. That or you're about to be dinner.

He's also very touchy, constantly has his hands on other people. Sometimes its to assert dominance but once again its also just something he does when he likes you. He's just plain not good at boundaries or social norms.

Everything Severen does is loud. Feeding, talking, fucking, walking. He even talks and snores in his sleep. If you're sensitive to noise he's a fucking nightmare.

Sev thinks he's the funniest person unalive, truly his own biggest fan. He laughs obnoxiously at all his own jokes. Sometimes he laughs so hard he can't even get the joke out. And if you don't think he's funny or laugh with him he gets super sore about it. (Same tbh)

He has kind of a fragile ego. If you insult him or hurt his feelings you're gonna be on his shit list for a hot minute. He holds onto a grudge the longest out of anyone in the clan. He hold grudges against people who died in 1935.

#Sev probably has the most bad/annoying habits of everyone but I wanted to keep his the same length as the others lmfao.#also the post did eventually save to drafts!#yay!#the hooker clan #near dark #near dark 1987

16 notes · View notes

enduracarrotchips · 3 years

Text

YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here:

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams.

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link:

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

#listen. listen. youtuber au #idc if u came here to see genderless art this is what I am posting today #genderless art in the future though #anyways I'm so sorry #sidon x sidon trends for a few days and I feel bad for the ppl who have to handwrite the trending descriptions on twitter #like what would it be #reddit user @ steponmeurbosa makes a spelling error and sparks shipping between beauty guru sidon and himself #if someone tries to start discourse about YouTube fandoms on my post I am blocking you #headcanons #opinions #youtuber au #botw #zelink #breath of the wild #legend of zelda #thank god I got this out of my notes app

151 notes · View notes

parachutingkitten · 3 years

Text

Y'all suck at dissecting Kai's character, so I guess I have to do it.

And I'm not even a Kai stan. He's a bottom tier ninja for me, which I guess means you can trust me, cuz I'm not biased, but also why am I the one doing this? I don't know about y'all, but recently on my dash, the method by which Kai fans try to make him sound good is... saying the writers hate him, ignore him, and that he isn't written well? Which... I mean there is a little bit of truth to, but like yikes guys, is this the best you got? Kai is a wonderful character with plenty of attention from the writers, a meaningful piece of the cast when put in secondary rolls, fairly consistent character writing with actual progression and valuable qualities that help the team without having to be the smart one- despite what some posts might tell you.

Let's get one thing cleared up: Ninjago isn't the best written show. By high level Hollywood standards, most the character arcs are kinda weak or too heavy handed, character consistency can be iffy, and most things serve the plot rather than the characters. There is no character you can point to and say "wow, this character is written so well! No complaints!" Nya and Jay were butchered by their weird love plot, Cole's one season doesn't actually give him an arc, Zane's been nothing but the robot numbers guy for like 10 seasons now, and Lloyd seems to be incapable of doing anything but relive the same one piece of dad angst for depth. Sorry, it's true. All the characters suck when you look at it from a large scale writing perspective. So when I say Kai is well written, I mean by ninjago kids show standards- cuz that's the scale we're working on. No, you couldn't drop Kai into a well written drama, but as far as ninjago goes... he's got a lot going for him, and by no means is he the biggest victim of poor writing.

(fair warning, wall of text below)

The title is a bit disingenuous. There are plenty of good Kai character break downs. What I am presenting here is a more positive perspective. On the whole, I will tend to give the writers the benefit of the doubt, and credit for what they do right writing is hard guys. That's what I'm doing here. I don't see much sense in getting mad the writers on behalf of Kai, or any other character. Ninjago is a simplistic ensemble show that works because of the identifiable simplicity of its main characters with some deeper layers hidden underneath if you keep watching. They've given us a damn good show with some damn enjoyable characters, so here are some criticisms I feel are a little flawed:

First, let's get the 'focus' thing out of the way. Apparently there are people saying Kai doesn't have a season yet? Which... what? I mean, I get that the pilots aren't a full season, the first two seasons, though he is the central protagonist, aren't "Kai seasons" as we've come to define ninja focus seasons, season 7, though he gets majority focus, he shares with his sister. But like... did y'all just forget about season 4? You know, the season where he had the title card, was on the box sets, got the love interest, and the majority of the A-plot? not to mention it's the best season don't @ me Like... if season 4 isn't a Kai season, I can make a damn good argument that season 3 isn't a Zane season, and I doubt anyone wants to go down that rabbit hole. I really can't wrap my head around this one. And I get that the fandom hates season 11 for some reason, but like you can't just pretend it doesn't exist. Kai has a consistent arc across 30 episodes in which he takes his powers for granted, loses them, and learns that, not only does he have value within the team without them, but that his element is intrinsically a part of him that he reclaims, bringing them back more powerful than ever, and with new respect for them. That's one of the most solid arcs in the whole series- the location is even thematically connected to his element. That's some good stuff right there! (Quick plug for season 11 if you haven't watched it in a while. Give it a rewatch, you might be pleasantly surprised)

Not to mention the writers give him fun side stuff all the time. Lots of fears of tech and water to overcome, a deep protective streak with Lloyd, becoming a chancellor, having a true potential actually relevant to the plot as a whole, blacksmith responsibilities, befriending dragons, hanging out with his dad. Not to mention actual focus stuff we haven't talked about yet, like his whole "my dad is evil" phase, and his "I might be evil" phase with him and Skylor. And on top of that, even when he doesn't have an explicit side plot, he's always just a fun and dynamic side character to make jokes or give exposition.

Now, into character stuff. Let's start with Kai's hot headed-ness. Some people say he's been loosing this quality, and I will admit, that's true! But those that claim this makes him inconsistent... I strongly disagree. In early seasons, Kai's temper would lead him to snap at his friends or make stupid decisions that set the team back (see episode 2 Zane freak out)- these are bad things. These are character flaws, yes? Now, in newer seasons, people say that he's inconsistent, cuz sometimes he'll be hot headed, and sometimes he won't. I'd say, this is exactly how being hot headed... works? It flares up without warning, and as an individual gets control of it, it'll pop up less and less often because they're channeling it into productive things - like say directing the anger towards an enemy (see season 11 end freak out). Kai has gained control of a character flaw, and though it still pops up on occasion, the fact that it's a once in a while kind of thing speaks to his growth. I have a little brother who has this exact personality, and watching him grow up, I can tell you, this is how it is. He used to snap all the time, and he still does sometimes, but much less frequently, because he's a more mature person with better control of his emotions. This is a good thing. This is overcoming personal flaws. This is progression we're seeing.

And while you're hyper focused on this one aspect of him, things like his cocky confidence haven't changed a bit. I mean, that season 3 bit between him and Pixal, and his season 11 "fire maker" streak have the exact same energy. You can not convince me otherwise.

Another adjacent quality that hasn't been dampened is Kai's impulsiveness. This can be a good quality of his, he'll get into a fight without thinking, getting the jump on the enemy. Good stuff. But, this has become such a well defined trait of Kai's that it has been used in a comedic capacity. This is what happens when a character is extremely consistent to the extent that both the audience and the characters in universe would be able to predict their actions. Kai's impulsivity used to be a more serious quality that put himself and others at risk, and was a big power move whenever he did something rash, but it's become such a staple of the show that it's now being used for comedy. That isn't Kai's impulsivity going away, that's Kai's impulsivity being recontextualized for the sake of the show. The season 9 "Who's stupid enough to jump on that thing" isn't a joke at the expense of Kai just for being dumb, it's a joke at Kai's being so predictably impulsive that everyone already knows he'll be the one to put himself in an insane amount of danger without thinking twice (you know, something stupid that might get him killed). But because in this instance, the danger is warranted, this is bravery. It's a complement to his character- it's what ends up defeating the colossus. Why are some people so bothered by this joke?

Oh right, cuz for some reason people want to peg Kai as the smart one? Look, Kai isn't stupid, none of the ninja are. All of them have smart moments (all of them have dumb ones too) and Kai can certainly handle himself, but "smart" is definitely not one of his defining characteristics- I think some people are confusing smart for his actual strength. Connected to his impulsivity, Kai has very good simplistic instincts. He sees the big picture and looks at the most surface level solution- which when the situation calls for it, that does indeed make him smart. But the same logic that led him to think "This snake has a glowing target on its head, lets hit it" also led him to think "I'm in a video game, therefore I am immortal." Are you really going to look at me and say he figured out Lloyd was the green ninja through logical deduction and a careful consideration of the facts? No. He had a gut feeling, and he trusted it. Instincts- instincts paired with his impulsive following of said instincts is what leads him to solve problems- and sometimes, that can be extremely effective. This goes for other ninja too. Jay isn't the smartest ninja- I would really only classify Zane and Nya as having intelligence define them (hence their ship name). But Jay is extremely creative and crafty. He also knows his was around mechanics, and as such, this will lead him to come up with creative tech based solutions which are smart. But, idk about you, if I had to point to another ninja as being 'dumb' it would 100% be Jay. Kai is a lot of things. He's passionate and determined and confident and persistent. He's a good improvisor, he's powerful and he's charming! These are all wonderful qualities, he doesn't also have to be the smart one. I am the worlds biggest Pixal stan, and she's a smart, sassy, powerful character, but I'm not gonna sit here and tell you she's also hilarious and adaptable and strong willed. She's a straight man to all the ninja's antics, extremely tied to her samurai x suit, and lets people push her around all the time. That doesn't mean she can't be funny, or self interested, but when she does act these ways, it stems from her other more prominent qualities. That make sense?

And while we're clearing up what Kai isn't, please stop characterizing Kai as an overly protective brother - especially romantically. The only two times he's been romantically protective to Nya are in Wu's Teas which I mean, come on and in the pilots when Jay is literally a stranger. For crying out loud, by the end of the pilot, he's smiling when Jay and Nya hug. That's not overly protective, that's just normal, any reasonable person would react this way, protective. And it's such a great stereotype break for a kids show like ninjago, having an older brother who actually trusts his younger sister to be her own independent person who can make her own decisions. I mean, I guess it's fine if you HC differently but like... idk, I don't buy it.

Now, is there still room to criticize the writers? Yes. Hell yes. But not to an extent greater than any other character. Could he have had more of a defined reaction to events of the most recent season that I won't name for the sake of spoilers? Yes. But could Zane have reacted for more than .5 seconds at being an evil war lord for apparently 60 years? Yeah. Has Kai taken a back seat in the past 4 seasons? Yeah. But so has Lloyd- and he's literally the main character of the show. Not to mention two of those seasons have gone to people who had to wait over ten seasons to get one to themselves, and one of them is a 40 minute special. Kai's doing just fine.

Anyway. Kai is great. He's a fun, stereotype breaking, impulsively driven, ball of energy and confidence who gets a good amount of screen time and some fun side plots.

One last thing to clear up: no hate to anyone. This isn't targeted at anyone specific, this post has been a long time coming, I've just seen some weird overblown claims on various platforms over the past few months and I finally sat down to write about it.

I like the Kai content we have. After all, if the writers were really that bad at writing him, then no one would like him.

Wow this was so much longer than I thought it would be. Um... if you have other long winded rants you'd like to see from me... let me know I guess?

#ninjago #kai ninjago #kai smith #parachuterants #analysis #lets add this tag:#/lh

235 notes · View notes

hansonkim · 2 years

Photo

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐏𝐓 #𝟏𝟏𝟎𝟓 . . . 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐌 🔑 📂

. . . shot straight off the edge / guess the world’s flat after all

STATS . . . MUSINGS . . . VISAGE . . . HEADCANONS . . . SELF-PARAS . . . extended map.

🌦 « teo yoo. cis man. he/him. forty-two. » was that HANSON KIM walking through the doors of amorelux ? i heard they just moved in to apartment 1105 from COPENHAGEN and work as a/an freelance cfo. they seem meticulous & dutiful but don’t get on their bad side ! they can be unmoving & critical which makes sense since they’re a VIRGO. you know they’re home when you see a flash of a fake birth certificate, a shelf dedicated to his pta awards, & a biometrically locked gun safe. — @amoreluxintro

+ meticulous, dutiful, persevering, hardworking, practical. - unmoving, critical, relentless, obstinate, bookbound.

— ↷ morgan. 23. pst. she/her . . . cis bi korean woman.

trigger warnings: bullying, child abuse & neglect (implied), death, forced cultural assimilation, murder, pregnancy, violence, weapons (guns), xenophobia & racism (implied)

TLDR; hanson never knew his birth parents. instead, he grew up to be groomed as a killer. now, he’s a sleeper agent co-parenting with another agent he’s sharing a marriage certificate with, presenting a picture-perfect life without making current use of his espionage skillset.

CHAPTER I . . .

as an infant, kim il-cheong was left on a doorstep underneath the metal awning looming over the entrance of a catholic orphanage in copenhagen, denmark. all that was left with him was a small, plush elephant and a piece of paper with his name written on it.

il-cheong was defined as an isolato early on, not finding much amusement in the other children’s cruel version of play. especially since he was an easy, foreign target. instead, he worked hard at his lessons, keeping his mind and hands busy with his lessons and frequent tree-climbing.

CHAPTER II . . .

at seven years old, he was plucked out of the establishment by a rough, ragtag militia entity who wanted a malleable foot soldier.

after doing so, they imposed a new name on him — hanson gundersen. he never forgot his korean name. but he never said it again either, especially since his caregivers forbade it, wanting him to culturally assimilate as much as possible.

to further insulate his understanding of the world, they also lived on the mountainside and didn’t allow him to venture into the more urbanized parts of town.

under their tutelage, he was never instructed to kill. but he learned to dissemble and assemble weaponry, learned their parts and functions, and naturally absorbed the tricks of their trade through the books on their shelves and the power of his own observation.

he also often sat in vehicles as they performed night hits and raids when someone couldn’t be home to watch him. sometimes, he would be instructed to help clean up.

CHAPTER III . . .

a german mercenary network was paid to retaliate for one of the militia’s attacks, leading to hanson’s third home in shambles and his first and final usage of the abode’s designated panic room. he also killed in self-defense, somehow shooting an intruder straight in the chin despite his shaky hands.

the assailants considered eliminating him, but his aim was clearly intentional, he was obviously malnourished, and he didn’t seem straightforwardly aggrieved.

they decided training him was a smarter alternative. after all, he clearly grew up only knowing duty — might as well channel that tendency while making him feel lucky to get three full-sized meals a day.

he was home-schooled at the director’s home, continuing his longstanding pattern of asociality. but at least he had a formal education. occasionally, they’d also instruct him to wander into town on his own. sometimes to perform errands, but mostly to learn how to perform a social persona. though he did have some friendly acquaintances and even friends within the network, his interactions with the outside world nearly always had utilitarian pretext.

CHAPTER IV . . .

he was put out into the field as early as age 15, when he’d often be sent on overseas missions mostly set in the states. as a talented kid, hanson was inconspicuous but deadly, papers forged to put him in close proximity to high-ranking targets.

the most non-network based stability he obtained was his attendance at uc berkeley for another one of his long missions. there, he officially received a degree in accounting and statistics.

his dedication was instrumental to the growth of the network, especially since it was still quite small when he was first recruited.

CHAPTER V . . .

after graduation, he was told to utilize and continue his trajectory as hanson kim.

specifically, he would have to embark on his most dedicated mission ever — marriage. with this endeavor, he’d be a sleeper agent donning on an impeccable white picket persona, hiding in plain sight until activated as an agent.

the network tasked him with finding someone to faux-date and eventually marry, handing him hundreds of files of women that other mercenary networks, including governmental organizations such as the cia, have been monitoring for recruitment.

decisive as ever, he definitively chose lyra lau, a first-year law student with high test scores, incredible aptitude, and a penchant for relentlessness. after befriending one of her friends and worming his way into a blind date, he offers her a job at dinner.

CHAPTER VI . . .

surprisingly, it doesn’t take long for her to warm up to the prospect of marriage. perhaps it’s due to her intensely ambitious nature or a previous string of bad partners. or both.

he doesn’t question it. instead, they play their parts, performing their honeymoon phase as two lovebirds and even staging a big relationship crucible involving their concurrent post-grad educational tracks — her with law school, him with his accounting master’s program. they meet each other’s in-laws (phony ones, in his case) and eventually host a gorgeous yet intimate wedding ceremony.

soon after, lyra was offered a lucrative job in a manhattan-based firm, which functioned as a perfect excuse for a relatively fresh start in a new city.

upon their entrance into the big apple, they were activated for their first mission (at least as a married couple).

CHAPTER VII . . .

a white picket family’s also usually incomplete without a tyke in tow. so after a few years of marriage, hanson and lyra used in vitro fertilization (ivf) to conceive a child.

their mission was going smoothly for years, with their kid ingrid demonstrating inheritance of her parents’ intellectual prowess and lyra getting close to a senior partner position.

however, due to uncharacteristically bad intel, they were nearly compromised. before the absolute worst could happen, they were extracted from the mission in question. luckily, lyra was poached by a former colleague, who wanted to transfer her talents to a seattle-based firm within this time frame — and with the promise of senior partner.

so, their espionage higher-ups approved their move. mostly for the purpose of hiding, but also to keep an eye on the daughter of a high-ranking out-of-state official.

#ahq:intro #oh my god.... fucking FINALLY

5 notes · View notes