#* biggest-gaudiest-patronuses (is that how that’s spelled?)

[hms-incorrect-quotes]

[cryptidvagabond]

Some questions:

Favorite blog(s) you follow (if you have any)?

Favorite color?

Got any pets? If so, how old?

Best videogame you've played?

Favorite TRRPG system?

What do you prefer to warm up: hot food or hot drinks?

favorite blogs? hmm, probably thebibliosphere, biggest-gaudiest-patronuses, and teaboot. Probablybadrpgideas and shittycryptids are always good for a little chuckle too. favorite color? I like blue, black, and purple. And silver. Never really had one favorite color, just a handful I prefer. Pets? yes. currently two cats. a year old orange tabby, and an eight year old grey tabby. Their names are Walter and Sam, respectively. Best videogame? uh...that's a hard one. I don't know what qualifies a game as 'best' in my mind. One I find myself replaying a lot? because that would be any of the Dragon Age games. I play a lot of Destiny when I'm not playing something chill like Minecraft or The Sims. Anthem was great while it lasted, I still miss it sometimes. If a game turns out to have a control scheme that I struggle with or just ends up being too frustrating for me to try to play for some reason, I usually watch my partner play it instead, and we both loved The Last of Us and The Witcher: Wild Hunt. And the newer God of War, though we don't have a playstation, so we can't play Ragnarok yet, sadly. Looking forward too it though, and I will have to try harder not to accidentally spoil story for him with my mythology knowledge like last time. lol favorite TTRPG system? So, I was introduced to ttrpg's with Pathfinder, and...I absolutely hated it. I flat out refused to play for years because our group stuck by the "Confirm your crits" rule, and it sucked all the fun out of it for me, along with some bad DM experiences pretty early on. And then, my partner got me into Critical Role, and we both decided to try out DnD 5e. It is so much easier on me. My biggest struggle with pathfinder was keeping track of all the numbers and math and spells and just...everything. Compared to that, 5e just feels so much simpler and easier to handle. Not to mention, rolling a Nat 20 actually means something! So, yeah, I think it's safe to say 5e, for now. I will admit, I haven't had the opportunity to try very many others though. And lastly, I like to warm up with a thick pair of socks and a cup of hot coffee or tea. But, occasionally I gotta have a bowl of chili or soup. When the weather gets wet and cold, my family has a tradition of cooking up a giant pot of potato soup and some hot bread rolls, or a big crockpot full of chili and scratch made cornbread. It's definitely not an either/or choice for me.

[po-tato2]

How to Have a Chaotic Aesthetic

* erase the line between stupid and dangerous 

* root for the good and the bad guys 

* be spontaneous (this is important) 

* know random facts that are very questionable (for example, knowing how much body parts on worth on the black market) (also this includes knowing very random people from history- they can either be extremely and incredibly boring and mundane, or they can live the craziest life you’ve ever imagined) 

* I think the area you live in influences you a lot, so, if you can, have a chaotic atmosphere (example: random shit everywhere, a stuffed animal next to a sword, different energies clashing, a book of classical music next to a candle that smells like skittles) 

* Have a somewhat mysterious aura about you- no one is quite sure what side you’re on; if you’re lying or telling the truth 

* the hours of 10pm-5am are when you are most powerful (also when you’re the most stupid/dangerous) 

* your memes are funny, but every once in a while you send something that is a bit concerning 

* anything people say about you might be true 

* your vocabulary- include slang terms that are extremely outdated (shakespearean and seventies combined); your insults are weird yet terrifying

* spel esy words rong and complicated words correctly 

* wardrobe is very important- however you shouldn’t change what you like to wear just to fit this aesthetic- clashing ideas, such as, a business piece with a pajama piece (more specific examples include: wearing a tie with heelies; having the bottom half of you business and the top half play; graphic tshirt with a blazer; thigh highs with jordans; slippers and suspenders; lettermans jacket and a bowtie; etc) 

* obey the silliest rules (the ones everyone knows they can break) but disobey the rules that literally no one ever breaks ((psa im not responsible if you get yourself expelled)) 

* eat weird and/or gross shit- salt your banana, put mustard on pizza, dip cheetos in ketchup (something my little sister does and makes me want to strangle her), put bbq sauce on slim jims, etc 

* random bruises (another psa: dont hurt yourself to achieve random bruises it is not a necessary requirement) 

* that one person who shows distain for human life but immediately melts as soon as animals are involved 

* on animals- like the animals no one else likes; know a copious amount of information on only one animal and be vaguely ignorant on anything closely related to it (example: know every single fact about gorillas, but know fuck all about chimpanzees) 

* know one quite knows what your sexuality is (once again, not a necessity, don’t change yourself to fit this or any of these standards) 

* for some reason you always have a lighter in your pocket 

* if someone says something is a bad idea, that’s your cue to do it (dont be dumb and die or get arrested) 

* always in random places 

* randomly available at a moment’s notice 

* treat obscure facts as if they were obvious (ex- Wow Janet I can’t believe you didn’t know that the inventor of the computer was gay, I mean, EVERYONE knows that) 

* love possums and/or raccoons - this is the only requirement on this list 

* random knowledge is very important and ive already mentioned it several times already but more examples are- knowing random out-of-the-way places; random dates for weird not-really-important events; weird landmarks; random websites that probably don’t have the right to exist; random academic facts (a math formula, an english rule, etc) 

^ if you want to know how to do all that- you need to spend a lot of time of the internet, and also a lot of time on twitter, tumblr, and wikipedia (wikipedia surfing is something i do where you type in something random, go to wikipedia, then keep reading until you find a term or thing you don’t know, then go to that page, and so on and so forth) 

* now there are differences between the different types of chaotic- this is more of just an overall; however i can and will make more specific lists for the chaotic categories 

[foulanddead]

Who is your favorite blog on tumblr???!!!

[helium-vibes]

can you tell I miss 3rd/Last Life? /rh Follow my other socials for commission info (all proceeds go to top surgery!) Twitter & Insta: @ helium_vibes [ID: Text meme post number one is Tumblr user biggest-gaudiest-patronuses saying “in a constant state of “how dare you assume I know what I’m doing” but also “don’t you dare question me or what I’m doing”.” Next to it is a photo of Smallish Bean’s Last Life Minecraft skin. Text meme post number two is Tumblr user caringpluto saying “anyone available to go scream in the woods with me? it’s fun, free, and the trees like to gossip about us afterwards.” Next to it is a photo of Scott Major’s Minecraft skin. Beneath them is Tumblr user never-not-a-dork saying “This is the kind of socializing I’m comfortable with.” Next to it is a photo of Zombie Cleo’s Minecraft skin. Text meme post number three is Tumblr user spell-bound-life saying “Crystals for banishing someone: any of them if you throw them hard enough.” Below that is Tumblr user morticious-delicious attaching a photo of a giant, white crystal with a man holding it. The photo is captioned with “This here’s my banishing rock.” Next to this is a photo of Good Times With Scar’s Last Life Minecraft skin. Text meme post number four is Tumblr user genderbells saying “I was cuddling with a guy once and he had his head on my chest and just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “Netflix” cause I was thinking about Netflix and he just went “Oh. Your heart sped up and I...ok.” Below this is a photo of Scott Major’s Minecraft skin. A half-faded photo of Solidarity Gaming’s Minecraft skin is also next to the text post. Text meme post number five is Tumblr user i-like-cherry-3-141 saying “When I was a kid I loved the taste of cherry pits and apple seeds because I thought they tasted like marzipan only to find out as I got older that was cyanide I liked.” Next to this is a photo Skizz’s Minecraft skin. Below that, is Tumblr user yahooanswers-official saying “Congratulations on building up resistance to assassination.” Next to it is a photo of Etho’s Minecraft skin. Below that, is Tumblr user deepfriedanon saying “I feel better about eating the plastic around cheese now...” Next to it is a photo of BDubs’ Last Life Minecraft skin. Below that is Tumblr user yahooanswers-official saying “You shouldn’t.” Next to it is a photo of Etho’s Minecraft skin. Text meme post number six is Tumblr user meladoodle saying “what do you mean thesaurus isn’t a dinosaur.” Next to it is a photo of Smallish Bean’s Minecraft skin.  Text meme post number seven is Tumblr user towongfoo saying “If I don’t respond to your insult it means what I wanted to say was too mean and I decided to let you live.” Next to it is a photo of Etho’s Minecraft skin. Text meme post number eight is Tumblr user jaidennbatchler saying “do you know who’s cute? read the last word me.” Next to it is a photo of Scott Major’s Minecraft skin. /End ID.]

[thejadecount]

So originally I was reading biggest-gaudiest-patronuses’s Tony the Tiger x the Grinch fic ironically because like “Jesus Christ how did this get so many good reviews” and “this is going to be fucking hilarious”

But now

I

I just

????

It’s like, actually amazing and good and wow?

Like….how?

I’m an arrogant fanfic writer, okay? and plenty of times I’ve read fanfics and was like “okay that was decent” and “the grammar and spelling errors suck” and yada yada which is a lot coming from this loser

But I can confidently say in my many years of reading fanfics experience, this 4 chapters out of 7 (yeah, you heard me! It’s not even done yet, fools!) has to be

One Of The Greatest Things Ever

And yes, I have given it Kudos and Bookmarked it, you can check my AO3 account (TheJadeCount totally not self-advertising no how could you suggest such a thing)

And when reading said 4 chapters, these were my thoughts:

Wow okay no spelling and grammar errors so far that’s nice

Oh the Grinch uses they/them pronouns? Cool makes sense

Noisy Days? Oh yeah I know what U talking about fam

Wow okay Tony the Tiger hasn’t been doing good

I wonder how much of gaud’s hidden trauma I can pick out in this (and before anyone says anything no I’m not hating against Gaud or anything that’s just a thought I have whenever I read fanfics or whenever i read my own: I wonder how much of my trauma is showing)

And finally:

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS ACTUALLY GOOD HOLY SHIT I HAVE NO WORDS WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD AHHHHH

Like I was seriously screeching for a good 5 minutes as my sister looked at me weirdly from across the room

A Tony the Tiger x the Grinch fanfic written by The Embodiement Of Tumblr is what has me down for the count and reeling

And

It

Isn’t

Even

Finished

Yet

Wow.

[themyofmy]

I checked on the internet what is anti gaud? I can't find the definition and idk what it means

anti biggest-gaudiest-patronouses (I don't know how to spell Harry Potter words lmao)

there's a whole doc on what they've done

[sweetandsavageautistic]

Autistic Witches/Warlocks/Wizards (Especially at Hogwarts cuz HP is my SpIn)

-Who stim with little bursts of spell lightning. 

-Who have special robes that can transform into sensory-safe material. 

-Who are allowed quick-quote quills/self-writing quills for class and for essays if need be because their handwriting can be too messy to read.

-Who have sneakoscopes on hand in order to tell who to trust or not.

-Who are overwhelmed by the regular Hogsmeade trips, so McGonagall allows them to take private trips to Hogsmeade to avoid getting too overwhelmed.

-Who befriend Luna Lovegood quickly because she makes them feel comfortable with themselves. Also she’s possibly autistic and knows the best coping methods.

-Who organize private study dates in the library with the help of Hermione.

-Who get extra sessions for mastering the patronus charm because it’s sometime difficult to focus.

-Who are allowed Remembralls.

-Who are in Gryffindor and use it to promote #RedInstead in Hogwarts and focus on becoming braver because they know there’s different types of bravery.

-Who are in Hufflepuff and are so kickass at Herbology and are allowed second chances to tap the barrels if they can’t remember the code.

-Who are in Slytherin and become hyper fixated on learning parseltongue because it’s so intriguing, yet makes sense to them.

-Who are in Ravenclaw and can find multiple answers to the riddles because of how their perspective is so different. 

-Who befriend the ghosts because they don’t see them as ghosts, but as people.

-Who have ear protectors in the Great Hall during meals and sometimes have separate meals.

-Who have seen Death and take trips to the Forbidden Forest often because the thestrals comfort them. 

-Who rejoiced by stimming with their wands when Fred and George stood up to Umbridge. 

-Who befriend Lydia Scamander because she’s autistic too and has lived in a family that accepts and embraces differences wholeheartedly. 

-Who aren’t accepted by their families because they’re autistic and go home for the holidays with Lydia, Lorcan, and Lysander. 

-Who talk to the House Elves and respect them because they take things at face value and see them as elves, not as slaves. 

-Who tell the House Elves their sensory-safe foods.

-Who are allowed extensions on essays if need be.

-Who can write essays on their special interest and how it relates to the wizarding world for a few extra house points.

-Who are allowed, with supervision, to check books on their Special Interest out of the Restricted Section as long as the book doesn’t leave the library.

-Who go to Hagrid’s Hut to cuddle Fang when they’re melting down and Fang knowing just how much pressure they need to calm down. 

-Who had the guts to confront Umbridge about her punishments because they believed honesty is the best policy and it angered them to see other students in pain. 

-Who have the biggest, gaudiest patronuses because they often feel like outcasts and need some extra self-protection.

-Who, while not willing to join Voldemort, developed a special interest in the history of Voldemort after the second wizarding war. 

-Who take on some jobs at Hogwarts to earn some galleons or house points, as well as job experience. 

-Who amaze others with how extensive their knowledge is on a certain subject.

-Who merely laughed at the Carrows when they tried to teach them that muggles and muggle-borns were lesser because the autistic witches/wizards/warlocks just see muggles and muggle-borns as people, like halfbloods and purebloods.

-Who hate how quickly the stairs changed and manage to find the least treacherous paths to class.

-Who worked to develop a spell that could analyze and tell you how someone was truly feeling.

-Who joined the D.A. because Umbridge’s decrees largely went against their stubborn and strong sets of morals.

-Yet were also somewhat relieved with the boys-and-girls-not-permitted-within-eight-inches-of-each-other because that decreased the likelihood of physical contact. 

-Who use the Room of Requirement when they’re having sensory overload or a meltdown or a shutdown. 

That’s all I’ve got for now. Let’s call this part 1, because I guarantee, there’s probably gonna be a second part to it.

[qasian-tech-support]

Answer every question that ends or begins with a 1 or a 3 (sly smile)

1. What is you middle name?

Muega-Azekiel. My mom's from the Philippines and apparently it's a tradition to give a son his mother's maiden name.  My parents are also somewhat religious (not like *too* religious. What I mean by that is if I were to say that I was, like bisexual or asexual or even an atheist, they wouldn't pull the "YOURE GOING TO HELL" card.) and my dad wanted me to have the same initials as my brother Shauz. One day in church, the preacher was talking about Ezekiel and my dad was like "Hey, why don't we just change the E to an A?" (Also, a little freebie about me: my initials spell SMAD.)

3. When is your birthday?

It's really easy to remember! It's 2/22/02 (DD/MM/YY).

10. What shoe size are you?

About 10 1/2 US Male

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I own most of the shoes that I've worn growing up, but if you mean the ones that fit me and that I actively wear, 3; a pair of old white tennis shoes, a newer pair of black canvas flats, and a pair of flip flops

12. What was your last dream about?

I couldn't explain it if I tried. My dreams get weirder every day. Sometimes my head's like a goddamn television that's channel surfing. (I vaguely remember a shirtless guy running down a street flailing his arms though??? I've never seen the dude before, I don't think.)

13. What talents do you have?

Self deprecation and over complication (have you read my bio). Though, I'm not really sure. I guess remembering some video game trivia, but not necessarily when I need to.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Even though I'm a variety trainer, I like to think of myself more of a grass or water type trainer, but I don't mind the occasional Psychic type addition to the team. Gardevoir's a great example.

15. Favorite song?

Fuuuuuck. Why are these so tough??? I can't really think of a specific one, but Rolling Girl feat Hatsune Miku (produced by wowaka) stands out. The lyrics are like one huge "big mood poem".

16. Favorite movie?

Already answered ^_−☆

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone who would understand why I do and don't do some things. I'm not the best at communication or communicating my emotions/what's on my mind. Someone who would share my love for things like video games and other things. But in all honesty, I don't really know.

18. Do you want children?

At this stage in my life, I'm not really sure.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Maybe??? Again, haven't really thought about it.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Only through visiting people so far.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

No, none that I can think of

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two. One really long memory foam one and a comfy Pikachu pillow.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

Have you ever seen the stereotypical crime scene victim outline? Like that. But I move around a lot, so I sleep on my sides or on my stomach often.

32. How big is your house?

5 bedroom (originally 3; my dad built onto it around the time I was born), two bathroom, single floor. I live in a relatively small town in Tennessee, so houses tend to be a little bigger than I think you would see in cities.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Schools started back up, so I either have a bagel or waffle.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Only BB guns. I haven't fired a real gun.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yeah, I like it, but I don't have easy access to it since I don't own a bow that's my size.

36. Favorite clean word?

[Why are these so tough?] Like in general or as an insult? I guess zero because it's one that I use commonly. As an insult, walnut's pretty high on the list (cough, @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses , cough).

37. Favorite swear word?

I say "shit" a lot. It can have many different meanings depending on how you use it. Excitement ("Holy shit!"), despair ("shiiiiiit...."), surprise ("Shit!!!"), fecal matter ("shit"), et cetera.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I know I've spent 24 hours without sleep, but I feel like I've gone longer before...

39. Do you have any scars?

I've got some across my lower back from going through a crawl space too fast at my grandma's. As for any others, it depends on if I've had an extremely bad day recently; once winter starts, I feel like I'll have more and it'll be more frequently (can't wait for long sleeve season).

41. Are you a good liar?

When I want to be, yes. I'm able give some things the status of "near fact" in my head. What I mean by that, is I'm able to say some things as easy as if they were the truth. I also try to remember details in my lie and not go too outlandish.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not well. I used to be able to copy Scottish accents somewhat well. I also went through a BBC phase, where I could mimic British accents fairly well, if I do say so myself (probably not though).

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Yes. The thing that scares me though is I'm not able to tell if they're venomous or if they bite. When I was smol, my elementary school nurse had a chart of spiders in the nurse's station and whether or not they were poisonous. They were in such good detail, too. THAT'S the kind of stuff that can scar a child.

53. Favorite foreign food?

I've already answered 52 with General Tso's chicken, but for the sake of variety I'll say something else. I really like lo mein, but I've been trying to get into sushi recently.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Oh fuck yes. If the song is in a language that I can't speak, expect some passionate mumbling. Even if the song doesn't have lyrics, you can expect some rambling wubs, doots, na's, bops, boops, and da's.

63. Biggest Fear?

I don't really know. I guess dying without my life being meaningful or not having an impact in someone's life (maybe one that could've helped bring them success) is high on the list.

71. What makes you nervous?

Lots of things. I'm not going to make the list too long, though. Being around new people, small talk irl, and messing up big time come to mind. Oh yeah, being new in a place where a lot of people are already used to the swing of things also makes me nervous and can set off my anxiety. I had that problem when I first joined Reddit, when I first joined Tumblr, when I rejoined Tumblr under this URL, when my friend made me get Snapchat, and when I downloaded Discord. However, it may take one, two, or a few people to help get me going; those people I have a tendency to cling to.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sometimes (I assume it means when I'm not blatantly proofreading something for someone). I try not to be a dick about it and I try not to when it isn't needed. Like, if someone uses your instead of you're or its instead of it's, I try to look past it. After all, English might not be their first language and it can just make you look like a douche. And as for correcting facts, I try to make sure that I'm correct before I go accidentally spreading misinformation.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No. That's a main reason why I'm taking French I and not Spanish I.83. How fast can you run?

"FAST AS FUCK, BOIIIIIII!!!!" jk. I used to run somewhat fast (faster than most people I know), but only for limited distances. I'm not sure if I still can.

91. Do you like your own name?

Yeah, I would say so. I mean, yeah I like my irl name, but I prefer Zero when I'm on the internet.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I'm not really sure. I like to think that I would understand more if I had a son, but I think that having a daughter would rock just as much.

100. Color of your room?

It's like a tan.

Thanks @homestuckorbust !!! It was a lot of fun!

[woundedtoaster]

Alphabet ?

Tagged by @dreamymara :)

A- age: ill be 20 in few weeks.

B- birthplace: southern Utah

C- current time: 19:58

D- drink you last drank: i made this weird concoction of green tea,cucumbers and mint leaves last night/this morning that i’ve been drinking. idk why i made it but its good i guess

E- easiest person to talk to: umm? myself? or probs @minimoo-69

F- favorite song: dear god i have too many to choose. Holy Diver by Dio, at the moment.

G- grossest memory: i have no clue. lol a few days before my 3rd birthday my cousins were sword fighting with sticks and i walked behind them to look at horses or something and long story short it cut clear through from the middle of my lip to the middle of my cheek and there was blood everywhere and i just remember all i wanted was a bandaid but everyone was freaking out. i ended up with like three layers of stitches and still have a scar.

H- horror yes or no? yes

I- in love?

well im married sooo.. yess

J- jealous of people? 

nah not usually

L- love at first sight or should I walk past again? I can believe in lust at first sight but i dont think you can love someone without knowing anything about them

M- middle name: Rose

N- number of siblings:   four younger brothers (and a handful of friends i consider siblings)

O- one wish?

lol i have no clue? to get my shit together? to find a better job that will hire me and can pay the bills, with extra to save or support my ungodly reading habits?

P- person you last called? one of the families i work with

Q- question you’re always asked: generally something stupid like “do you ever talk?“, (yeah i talk a lot, just not to you and that’s how i like it). or how to pronounce my last name (there’s two common variants of it around here that are spelled the same but pronounced differently)

R- reason to smile: books exist.

S- song you last sang:

currently listening to/singing along with: I See Fire (Ed Sheeran/the Hobbit) - Jonathan Young cover

T- time you woke up: 14:24ish, i usually wake up earlier but i didnt go to bed until 6 this morning sooo

U- underwear colour: bright tealish idk

V- vacation:  at the moment i just want to go camping and swimming.

W- worst habit:

procrastination. also a overwhelming habit for denial. bad things cant happen if you just deny them out of existence/don’t knowledge them in the first place.

X- x-rays:

?¿ yes? ive gotten some xrays done.

Y- your favorite food: Pizza! and these weird cream puff things. and tacos. and fruit gushers.

Z- zodiac sign: Cancer

ayyoo, i guess im tagging?? @sammikirkland24 @minimoo-69 @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @masterofspaghetti ???