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ererokii · 4 years

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Line without a Hook || E. Jaeger & J. Kirstein

➳ Jean Kirsten x Fem Reader x Eren Jaeger

Word count: 4,517 Warnings: angst, fluff, unrequited love, cursing ➳ note: this is based off the song Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery! I’ve been thinking this for a long time and I’m super excited by how it came out! Also big thanks to @reddriot for betaing!

➳ Synopsis: is love really worth it? Let me say, it’s not always worth it.

You can hold my hand if no one’s home.

Do you like it when I’m away?

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

It starts out simple really. A boy and a girl. Childhood friends, to be precise. Those two are inseparable. Nothing can tear the friends apart, besides their parents, of course. Like two peas in a pod.

Jean says he knows you like the back of his hand. He truly means that. He knows your favorite boy bands from when you were younger, how many terrible phases you’ve gone through, favorite foods, and places. If he wrote a novel about the things you told him, he would be a renowned author.

Since kindergarten to now, in the middle of your junior year, you and Jean have been side by side. You told him everything. From random vents and gossiping about the rude girls in your class to how horrible your period cramps were— even though Jean hated hearing about the last, he stuck through it for you.

Only you.

The pavement that followed the street your house was on is memorable. Jean can recall the amount of times you’ve had races, chalk scribbles covering the grey that would be washed away by the angry neighbors.

He listens to you as you talk about a kid getting in trouble in your Calculus class, watches how lively your motions are as you speak. Jean can’t help but smile when a laugh slips past your lips and you glance at him. There’s an unknown sparkle in his eyes, one filled with love.

You haven’t changed one bit, he thinks as he faces back forward, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. His mind begins to wander as you both continue down the pavement, part of your routine when school ends.

Your houses are right next to each other. You’ve been with him since you were in diapers. He was there when your first tooth came out, congratulating you, and you were there for him when he finally learned to ride his bike with two wheels instead of three.

The bubbly lovable five-year-old back then is the same as you are now.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Oh all my emotions

Feel like explosions when you are around

A sigh of disappointment leaves Jean’s lips when he listens to Connie talk about something he has learned over the weekend (something completely stupid— he just doesn’t care). Currently, the students are at lunch, the cafeteria full with loud shouts and random noises.

“Connie, shut up,” Sasha groans, placing her water bottle on the table, wiping her crumbs off. “No one cares that you finally figured out how to stick a spoon to your nose.”

“What do you mean?! You were the one who showed me!”

The brunette gasps and looks over his way, cream cheeks tinted with an adorable shade of pink, pointing a finger at him. The bickering between the two commence as Jean listens, slightly amused.

As much as he indulges in their argument, he can't help but wonder where you are.

It’s not like you to skip lunch, especially without at least letting him know. Did you stay behind to talk to a friend? A teacher? Maybe you went to the bathroom.

But it’s at least 15 minutes in.

“Sasha,” he speaks up, slicking back his hair. The sound of her name catches her attention, making her look at him. “Have you seen Y/N?”

“Y/N?” she asks in a whisper before her lips curl in a grin, already knowing why he asked. “Do you miss her?”

“Just answer my goddamn question!”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Connie asks, looking between his friends before stopping his gaze on Jean. “Why do you need Y/N?”

“Oh, you know! He lik-”

“Shut up!” Jean shouts, catching the attention of nearby students, his face heating up as his cheeks turn a darker pigment. “Just answer me!”

“If you must know,” she taunts him, twirling a strand of hair from her loose ponytail. “I saw her talking to someone in the hallway. Must be important, she’s been there for quite some time. Might want to be her knight in shining armor and saving her, huh?” she cocks her head to the side, staring at one of the windows in the room, watching as the branches of trees sway from the harsh winds.

The atmosphere outside was cold, breezes rushing down on anyone who was not inside. The sun was hidden by the thick grey blankets filled with rainwater, waiting to shower the world. The temperature recently has been dropping, mid 50’s at least. The weather was a shock, to say the least.

“I didn’t know Jean likes her!”

“What do you mean?!” Sasha gasps, turning her body to face her small-minded friend. “It’s only obvious! You must be really stupid then!”

“Well, how could you tell?!”

Before Jean has a chance to interrupt Sasha, she begins to rant. He prefers to stay silent, clasping his hands together in his lap as he lowers his head, finding interest in the marbled tiles of the floor his feet rest on.

The words that slip past Sasha’s lips reach his ear and out the other.

It’s easy to tell, Connie. Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything? Here you guys are, two close friends, I thought you would have known about his crush. I’m surprised you didn’t catch on every time he ditched plans with us to go hang out with her. He’s whipped, and you’re too stupid to know it.

His cheeks turn a shade of pink as his eyes squeeze shut, her words replaying in his head like a broken record player. Each sentence is like a knife stabbing away at his brain, causing the slightest ache to form in his frontal region.

She’s right. Anything she just said five minutes ago, is completely and utterly correct.

He can still hear her talking about it to Connie, but he can only focus on three sentences that stick to him like glue.

Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything?

Memories of him helping you in any possible way come to mind. He can’t recall how many times he has entered class two minutes late because you had so much to carry.

He stares at you like you’re the only thing worth looking at. It reminds him of those cliche animated movies with hearts in the character's eyes. He’s blinded by his love for you, that he never noticed any signs that you don’t feel the same way about him. His heart races miles per hour when you’re around. Sometimes he worries for himself that maybe, his heart might explode within him.

“Anyway, lunch has about 20 minutes left...where is she?” Connie mutters, scratching the top of his head.

“I don’t know, but,” Sasha grows quiet, listening to the ongoing thunder from the outside. The lights flicker for a second, a couple of yelps emitting from other students, slightly afraid that the power might go off while school is in session. “The storm is almost here.”

“Y/N!” Connie suddenly yells, pointing in the direction of the door, your body jogging closer to the table. “Where have you been?!”

“Sorry!” you laugh, out of breath as you drop your things on the bench, taking a seat beside Jean. “I got caught up in a conversation with someone! I guess I lost track of time for a bit.”

“I messaged you like four times,” Jean mutters, glancing over at you before looking at the table, playing with the plastic straw that he used to drink out of.

“You did?” you ask, pulling your phone out from your pocket, lips puckering when indeed he did so. “I’m sorry, Jean. I didn’t even feel my phone vibrate.”

“Oh, whatever, who cares! Eat! Or I’ll eat your food!” Sasha yells, pointing a finger at you, a smile gracing her features.

You laugh along with her as you converse with your peers, the conversation you had replaying in the back of your mind. Jean chooses not to intervene, instead would rather listen.

The roaring thunder plays in the background, everyone paying no mind to it. What he doesn’t know is that the storm is much closer than Jean could have thought.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Listen close, it’s a no

The wind is a pounding on my back

And I found hope in a heart attack

Oh at last, it is past

Now I’ve got it, and you can’t have it

Another evening, another study session, another day of bottling up his feelings until he can no longer hold them inside.

The storm made its way to shore, raining pouring down and even some hail; not what anyone was expecting.

Jean mindlessly flips through the pages of his English book, not even paying attention to the words as he checks how many pages are in chapter five.

“This seems pointless,” he adds with a sigh, tossing the book on your bed along with his highlighter he uses to annotate with. “I should just find a summary online or something, I don’t want to read this.”

“And why is that?” you ask, looking up from your book, placing the hardcover against your thighs. “Is it boring to you?”

“No,” he mutters, rolling onto his back. “It’s stupid. This love crap.”

“Well...it is a romance story, the teacher told us when we got the book. But why do you think it’s dumb?”

“He writes letters for her, and in the end, she ends up rejecting him. I don’t think that’s romantic.”

“And? It’s beautiful on his part,” you close your eyes as you stretch your arms over your head, letting out a grunt. “It’s the fact that he wrote to her every day. It’s like he poured his soul into every word. The words he uses are..literally everything. It makes me swoon over him, and he’s not real. Makes me wonder if someone would do that for me.”

Jean’s head perks up at your words, one of his eyebrows raised in curiosity when he notices the bashful look on your face, eyes averted to the comforter on your bed. “Why do you have that dopey look on your face?”

“Huh?!” your eyes are blown open as you look over at him. “What are you talking about?!”

“I’m talking about that, idiot,” he points at your face, watching your eyes cross faintly to stare at his finger. “You’re acting about that guy in the book.”

The patter of the rain is the only noise that fills the void called silence in your room. His warm eyes don’t leave your face at all, waiting for your answer. You’ve been acting weird ever since you were late to lunch this past week.

He watches your mouth open as if you’ll say something but close it right away, like you were concealing anything you had to hide.

“...well? Y/N? Are you there?”

“Yeah!” you cough into your elbow, running a hand down your face. “I-- you can’t tell anyone.”

“You know I never tell anyone what we talk about.”

You’re silent, a bit too quiet than usual. You fiddle with your fingers before blurting the words that have been eating away at you.

Jean’s heart stops for a moment, eyes wide in shock when he processes it. His blood runs cold as he’s unable to move, frozen like a statue. The signals in his brain begged him to respond, but he couldn’t. He could hear the faintest sound of bells ringing in his ears; all noise surrounding him was now drowned out by his thoughts.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

“You like someone?” he asks in a whisper, barely audible to your ears, but you heard as you nod shyly, biting down on your lip. “Well... who is it?”

“That’s...I can’t say it.”

“Why can’t you?”

“I’m afraid to say it out loud because I don’t want to ruin my friendship with him.”

Friendship? That could be anyone at this point.

I have to figure out who, he thinks as he draws random patterns into the sheets. “Well, tell me about him then. Is he in our grade?” he asks.

“Yeah, he is. He’s in four of my classes.”

Jean was in four of your classes. Math, English, Foreign Language, and Science.

“That’s it?”

You huff, rolling your eyes. “Can I finish before you interrupt? Thank you.”

You pause momentarily before speaking again.

“He’s stubborn. I’ve noticed that his demeanor changes when it depends on who he is with. He seems like a hardass and looks like he doesn’t want to be bothered, but he seems like a total softie when he’s with people he loves. Not to mention he’s hot...and tall. He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.”

Jean takes every word you say into consideration. He’s stubborn, it seems that he doesn’t like to be around people he doesn’t know but loves those he does know. He knows he’s hot. Practically every day he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks about how good he looks.

He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he really seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.

Jean can feel his doubt and worry turn into happiness and confidence as you keep on ranting, to which he’s not fully paying attention anymore. He knows it's him. It has always been him.

No one else.

Jean likes you.

And you like Jean, that’s all there is to it.

“Do you want to tell him?”

“Yeah...” you trail off, scratching the nape of your neck. “I want to tell him on Friday after school. Do you think he’ll like me back?”

“I think he would. How could he not? He would be a total idiot to reject you.”

You hum at his reassurance, placing your hand on his, squeezing gently.

“Thanks, Jean.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Darling when I’m fast asleep

I've seen this person watching me

Saying, “Is it worth it? Is it worth it?”

Tell me, is it worth it?

Friday comes, and Jean can hardly wait for school to end. He’s not paying attention, his eyes constantly staring from the whiteboard in the front to the clock that tauntingly ticks slower than usual.

He bites down on the pink end of his pencil in anticipation, tapping his foot repeatedly on the floor, the noise resonating through the classroom.

Maybe I should just keep my eyes off the clock, he thinks, lowering his head back to the worksheet their teacher gave the class.

Econ class was a drag. He could care less about the differences in macro and microeconomics, the same with Communism and Capitalism. It’s just a bunch of words that don’t make sense to his brain.

This was one of the classes he didn’t have with you, the last class.

Instead of doing his worksheet (luckily, the teacher said it would be for homework if it wasn’t finished), Jean proceeded to think about ways he could tell you his feelings.

He could be old fashioned, tell you how much he adores you and how happy you make him feel when you’re around. How his heart can be heard from the outside of his body, how his hands got warm and clammy, maybe sweaty when he became too nervous.

He could ask you out on a date. Take you somewhere, one of the places you’ve told him in the past that would make a great date for you. He smiles when he thinks about taking you downtown at night, looking at the soft lights that would brighten the streets; loving the sparkle in your orbs as you look around in awe.

He hums, pleased with himself when he figures out what he’ll do, scratching the back of his ear.

He wonders if you’re thinking the same thing.

You glance at your table partner, looking at his piece of paper before looking down at yours, displeased how his is able to look better than yours. You pick up your eraser, gently wiping the shadings away from your drawing, careful not to crease your paper.

“It’s not that hard you know, you just don’t know how to shade.”

“I know how to shade, Eren,” you reply with a huff, placing your eraser back down. “It’s just...this is a bit harder than usual.”

“All you have to do is follow the markings,” he presses the edge of his drawing pencil against the reference photo both of you are using, tracing the shape of it. “You could honestly just copy the photo, I doubt this woman would even notice.”

You chuckle at his choice of words, shifting in your seat to get comfortable. “I don’t think she would anyway. She just stares at it and calls it an A. I bet for our expressive project, she wouldn’t notice if we copied each other.”

He shakes his head with a smile, the loose strands of his hair swaying with his head movement. “No, she wouldn’t,” he rolls the sleeves of his hoodie to his elbows, grabbing his pencil again. “Then again, we are working on it with each other.”

“Speaking of that, what should we do?”

“Up to you, Y/N. I don’t mind. I’m just trying to pass this stupid class anyway.”

You relish in the silence between you as you gaze at him from your peripheral. You take notice how his hair frames his face effortlessly to the dip in his nose. It’s perfect how it forms to his cupid’s bow to his lips; not too big nor too small either. Just right.

You clear your throat, scratching at the nape of your neck. “Why not do...stages of love?”

That catches his interest.

“Stages of love?” he asks, moving in his chair to face you, a hand propping his head up. “Elaborate?”

“Like you know...how we gain a crush on someone. We like how they make us feel, and soon we think about them some more. Maybe make little scenarios in our head. Then we gain the crush and want to be around them. You know what I mean, right?”

He’s silent, hues that represent the blue of rivers, boring into your own. At first, you think he hates your idea, but then the corner of his lips curls into his infamous grin. “Yeah, I like that. Did you have anything else in mind?”

“Maybe...rejection?”

“Rejection?” he repeats, a bit shocked at how romantic your words were, to something filled with sadness. “And why would you want to do rejection?”

“W-Well,” you stutter, unsure how you should put it. “Everyone always talks about the good in love but never the bad. And I think it could be done good, you know?”

He hums, scratching away at his chin before nodding. “Yeah, alright. That sounds oddly specific, but I like it. We can honestly get started soon, that way, we can finish faster and not worry about it.”

His smile throws you for a loop, your face heating up as you pick up your pencil, trying to distract yourself.

“Say, Y/N?”

“Yes, Eren?” you reply a bit too quickly, cursing yourself out internally for sounding too desperate.

“Can we talk?” his cheeks are a shade of pink, his eyes averted as he plays with one of the strings of his hood, reminding you how a child would distract themselves. The tips of his shoe nudge against yours, barely kicking gently.

“Aren’t we talking right now?”

“No, I mean after school.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer

Watching over me, he’s singing,

Jean storms out of his Econ class with a grin, hands gripping onto the straps of his backpack as he looks down one end of the hallway before going down the other direction. The art room was three classes down his. Usually, Jean will wait right there by the door for you since you take ages to finally leave the classroom.

When Jean finally reaches the room, he sees that the doors are locked, and the lights inside are off.

Huh, that’s weird, you’re always one of the last to leave, nor are you ever this early.

He stands there for a few more seconds, peering in through the small glass, and sees nothing before taking a step back and quickly continues to walk down the hall. His legs are quicker, going down the two flights of stairs.

His eyes frantically search for the yellow shirt you wore, unable to find you anywhere.

“Sasha!” he calls out once he reaches the end of the stairs, running towards the girl and their friend, who was at the lockers, pulling things she needed to take home for the weekend.

The brunette looks over her shoulder, stopping her conversation with Connie as she shuts her locker. “Yeah, Jean?”

He pants, leaning on his knees before letting out a deep breath and standing straight up. “Have you seen Y/N?”

She ponders for a while before shaking her head, looking over at Connie, who shakes his head, shrugging. “We haven’t seen her since Art class.”

“You didn’t see where she went at all?”

The events before class ending play in her mind before she gasps, snapping her fingers, pointing up at Jean. “Yeah, I know where she went!”

“...are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to guess?!”

She mocks him for a second before pulling her phone out. “I could have seen her leave with Eren. I think they went to the bench in the back. You know the one I’m talking about?”

He’s taken aback for a moment before shaking his head, retaining the information. “Alright, thanks.”

Why would you even be with Eren right now? You never meet with him after-

“Are we still on for this weekend?!” Connie yells when Jean is making his way down the corridor.

“Yeah, we are!” Jean's voice travels through the air, reaching both of his friends, hands clammy as they’re shoved in the front pocket of his pants.

The walk to the back courtyard was tiresome. His feet seemed to drag behind him, an aching feeling forming in his gut. Thoughts pounded against his skull repeatedly, trying to force him to stop. He wants to stop, but he has to go.

He has to tell you he loves you.

He can’t help but smile when you describe the boy you like this week. In his mind and most certainly his heart, he was the king of the world sitting on his high horse as he screamed in victory, letting the whole world know that the person he likes, feels the same way about him.

The fresh air from the outside meets his nostrils as he deeply inhales, allowing it to enter his body before exiting. The sun is the first thing he meets with as he exits the building, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes away from the harsh light. He mutters something under his breath as he looks around for a second.

“She’s a,

She’s a lady and I’m just a boy”

His honey orbs finally stop on a bench where you and Eren are seated, that’s not too far away, but his body is hidden from your view. He lets out a sigh of relief, leaves crunching underneath his feet as he walks, not taking long strides, rather walking slow to rethink what he��ll say.

“Y/N, I’ve liked you for a long...no,” he mutters, stopping in his tracks as he looks down at the green grass and leaves, kicking away at them. “I’ve loved- no, that sounds a bit aggressive, goddammit,” he groans, tugging at the roots of his hairs. “Why is this so fucking hard?!” he growls underneath his breath, leaning against the brick wall.

He never was anything else but honest with you. How could he say it?

What if this ruins your relationship?

...what if you liked Eren?

His breath hitches in his throat when realization dawns on him. His lips part, a soft exhale releasing from within him. His fingers curl around nothing, as if he was holding the air’s hand. The tips of his fingers shake, his whole body stiffening as he stares hard at nothing.

How could he be so stupid?

It all made sense now. How you stayed behind during lunch that one time without saying anything; in the back of his mind that day, he knew that someone had to be a boy, maybe a girl. Even then, you would always let him know.

Jean should have known from the beginning that you only saw him as a brother.

His chest aches as his vision goes blurry, biting down on the inside of his lip to the point where he can taste the bitter metallic on his tongue. He squeezes his eyes shut before opening, wishing he hadn’t at that moment.

He’s singing

“She’s a, she’s a lady and I am just a line without a hook.”

His heart breaks, stomach-dropping when he sees Eren’s hand brings you closer to his body, lips pressed up against yours; your hand placed on his cheek, cradling his face. Even from where he stands, he can sense the urgency in the kiss, how your bodies move together as one, how your fingers grip onto him like he’ll leave any moment.

His lower lip quivers for a second, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, clearing his throat. Jean cranes his neck upward, looking at the sky, muttering the words, “Why him?” over and over like a mantra, no other words coming to mind.

When he closes his eyes, all he can see is you. Not Eren, just you. Those moments where you laugh, cry, or stay silent, those are the moments that flash in his head.

Did he do something to you? Was it something he said?

Did you ever like him at all?

“It’s pointless,” he whispers, pushing himself off the brick wall, immediately making a beeline for the doors. He swallows harshly, legs moving faster than ever, wanting to get out of this hell hole called reality.

Like every day, you’ll walk down the same pavement you’ve been walking on for years.

Only this time, he’s walking alone.

Oh, and if I could take it all back

I swear that I would pull you from the tide.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

taglist: @sleepysnk @jaegerbomb20 @reddriot @kkiimmberly @kingtamakimurder @tamasoft @byougen @spike-this-ass @crimsonbows-and-arrows @squidonmywall @thicmitten (message me to be apart of it!)

#eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #jean x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot #snk #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #attack on titan imagines #shingeki no kyojin imagines #eren imagines #eren jaeger imagines #jean imagines #jean kirstein imagines

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pinkmirth · 4 years

Text

—𝐌𝗼𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝗼𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 [𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞]

《𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝗼𝗺𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝗼𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 + 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝》

Boxes splayed across the bare, sheen hardwood of your newly owned apartment, some contents of them being haphazardly tossed out onto the floor, courtesy of Katsuki. Speaking of, the eager ash blonde had been taking this whole unpacking thing with a ravaging approach, a little more aggression than enthusiasm being displayed. This disregarding husband of yours had already broken two vases since the moving van hauled in your belongings..

You caught wind of his incoherent murmurs throughout the day, which were practically countless by now. You’d been racking your brain since, attempting to discover what had gotten your poor Katsuki so upset. Despite the marriage that bonded you and him, Katsuki’s profession usually got in the way of many personal things. For a while, it’d been a danger just for the pair of you to live together, so you haven’t been. Until now. It had been three days since you and him moved from the comfort of your hometown, Musutafu, to the renowned capital, Tokyo, and you wished you could say it had been smooth sailing. Unfortunately, a certain Bakugou wasn’t having the best time, always sputtering a profanity or a groan left and right. His case of the grumps was probably a trip of his complex emotions, either caused by a sense of neediness, deprivation of some sort, or bottled rage. You were betting, practically hoping on the first two instead. Knowing your husband, it meant well that he’d get his hands on miscellaneous household items to crush, smash and break, as some way of channeling his anger episodes. Three days down the line, and you already needed to replace a handful.. Though, it was currently dinner time, and you were sure that was a good thing. Katsuki’s little funk would wash away come 6pm. Cooking had a way of melting away the male’s heaps of stress, especially when you offered to join in. Throughout that hour of making food and serving you his prideful dishes, he always carried a subtle smile. Dinner wasn’t something to worry about. “Fuckin’ hell!” Scratch that. Telling by the pestering clatter of the cabinets he was yanking open, to the dastardly echo of his stomps, it seemed that you couldn’t rely on the succor of food for any longer. “I oughta’ set this lousy kitchen on fucking fire!” You let out a hefty sigh, picking yourself up from the spacious beanbag, since you were yet to assemble any couches, before strolling over to the kitchen, awaiting to see the reason behind your husband’s exaggerated shrieking. “Katsu-Chan, what's the issue..?” Your husband immediately bombarded you with a growled rant, “I can’t find my shitty apron!” You eyed Katsuki through furrowed brows. Is all this attitude really about one measly apron? Nah, I doubt it, your inner voice chimed. “And there ain’t any more pepper seasoning, so I haven’t got a clue what I’ll cook now..” he spewed through gritted teeth, recklessly tossing away the poor frying pan that he’d been holding onto all the while, impressive dents imprinted onto the handle, curved into the shape of his fingers. In that case, you had one more household item to replace. Noted.. “I can’t find that damned thing,” he spoke with an exasperated huff, his hands flying up to the cupboards, motioning them open and closed with the slightest violent tendency. “Hate to break it to you, sweet cheeks, but we ain’t eating dinner tonight,” you scoffed over Katsuki’s recurring dramatics, “These past few days have been shitty anyway..” He’d said it throughout a lowly mutter, but it was enough to cause a nervous stream to rush through you. Did he not like it here? Perhaps the city was too busy for Dynamight, maybe he wasn’t immune to getting homesickness as he liked to brag about, or it couldve been that he just wasn’t ready to get used to such a foreign occurrence in your relationship— living together. But, of course, considering your nature to bat things off with a joke of some sort, you contorted your worries into a comical stick to jab at your husband with.

“Darling, if you’re on your man-period, you should’ve just said so..” you’d said it with fabricated pity, all the while holding back your chuckles as his brows began to furrow, upper lip curving vexingly.

“You think you’re so damn funny, dontcha’, woman..?”

“Yeah, just a little bit.”

Another rasped groan left the lips of the ever-impatient Bakugou Katsuki, “Oi. Are ya’ just gonna keep giggling on about my little anger episode forever?”

Hm. For once, he actually acknowledged it for what it is, you thought briefly, before making your way around the glossy, marble-design kitchen island, your hands finding solace on his defined, muscular triceps.

The thick straps of his black, square neck tank top gradually began to slide past his shoulders, shadowing over his collarbone before you inched it back up.

“Do you.. like it here, Katsuki?” By the moment he answered your answer with an aggressive snort, you realized you had nothing to worry about.

“Why the hell wouldn't I? We didn’t pay for this house just to hate the place,” he scoffed, his large palms skimming over the small of your back before thick fingers of his wrapped around your waist.

“That’s a relief, but you’ve been acting a little grumpy— Like something’s bothering you. Could you just tell me how you’re feeling?” You finally admitted your questioning thoughts with an expectant look, watching Katsuki return your curiosity with a subtle smirk. “You wanna know what’s bothering me..?”

“Y’know what, never mind. Don’t wanna hear it, Katsu-Chan.”

Your abrupt response had him knitting his brows and emitting confused huffs. “So you’re just gonna change your mind on me like that?!” You jabbed at his chest with your pointer finger to punctuate your reply, “because you made it sound creepy, that’s why!”

Katsuki then tightened his grip around your waist, earning a breathy gasp out of you. Before you could question the blonde, he already had you hauled up into the kitchen island, standing between your dangling legs with the tip of his nose grazing yours. You couldn’t help but let out a sigh at the comforting warmth of his sizey hands, your arms instinctively flinging around the back of his neck.

“Alright, I’ll tell you the truth, hon,” confessed Katsuki, “The move has been great, but horrible. It all went good, I guess. No missing items, moving trucks arriving in record time, everything we wanted. But there’s one more thing that we wanted that you seemed to forget about, you lil’ idiot..”

Despite the use of an insult, his cheeks and ears began the bloom a subtle but pretty pink, his sharp red eyes averting from your own blinking ones.

“Care to inform me on whatever I forgot..?” You skimmed through my your memory frantically in those few seconds that he’d paused, trying to dig up a pleasing answer before he told you himself.

“Privacy, [Y/N].. We’d have so much, too much once we moved to our own place. And we loved the sound of that. Y‘know why, right..?”

Your heart suddenly leapt within your chest at his indication, his left brow rising suggestively as he briefly cocked his head. You definitely knew why.

“So we could have times like this. Without any damned interruptions. I can suck your face off without one of my shitty friends popping up unexpectedly, ain’t that swell?” His voice held the slightest bit of laughter in it, his tone comical and yearning.

“So.. if I said that I wanna feel you close to me..” you murmured, your breath fanning over his proximate lips, “Like, really really close, it wouldn’t be a problem, yes?” A teasing, lingering peck was what you placed across his cheek, earning a genuine grin from Katsuki as a response.

“Who the hell’s gonna stop you? In fact, I’ve got my own idea,” his lowly voice came out booming nonetheless, but of course, the benefit of privacy made sure that his volume wasn’t a problem.

“I wanna watch you. While you watch me.” He didn’t have to be lewdly exact with his words, the lust-blown gaze in your husband’s vermillion eyes was enough to tell what he wanted. It was simple enough as he’d said; Mutual masturbation, just a few minutes before dinner time would commence.

Albeit the serene atmosphere, you couldn’t hold back your snicker over your realization. Bakugou Katsuki, your impatient lover. The poor guy had been in such a distasteful mood, only because of his unnerving libido..

“You wanna watch me take off my panties, huh?” Your teasing statement came out as a suggestive giggle, your hand placed sturdily at the nape of his neck while the unoccupied one got to work on making his fantasies a reality, tugging at the hem of your leggings hastily.

“You’ve gotta watch me too, y’know,” Katsuki reminded you with a gravelly chuckle, shimmying and pulling his bottoms off as though there were no time to spare.

His half naked form had attracted you in an instant, eyes drawing to his thick cock, semi-hard and already being encased into his moving palm.

“Don't just stare. It works both ways, sweet cheeks. I wanna see some fingers moving’ already,” Puffs of breath were taken between his words, ruby red eyes already lidded with an agape mouth that poured out the most arousing groans.

“Nah, I think I’ll just enjoy the show for now,” you decided matter-of-factly, pressing a sloppy kiss along his defined jawline, causing him to emit another grunt, lowly slapping sounds being heard from his vulgar ministrations.

“You think you’re cute, huh..” hissed Bakugou, trudging his clothes back on with a grunt, to your dismay. “Forget it. Instead of putting on a show for a brat like you, I’m gonna go straight to dinner.”

You accepted the fate that your actions resulted in, ready to slide off the island, just before his stern hands stopped you. He gave you this glance, one that made you eye him in suspicion as he kept his hands on each of your thighs, spreading them apart with a lax grin.

“Katsu— Ah!” By now, the blonde had already dropped to his knees, now face level with your clothed heat. “W-what about dinner..?!”

“Whaddya’ mean?” His tone came out rasped and attractive, a growing smirk reaching his lips as his fingers prodded at the band of your bottoms, “This is my dinner, babe..”

#bnha thirst #mha thirst #bakugou imagines #bnha Imagines #Katsuki Bakugou imagines #Bakugou x reader #Bakugou x female reader #bnha insert #mha insert #Bakugou smut #bnha smut #harmoni writes

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moonlightchildz · 5 years

Text

The art of broken love; K.T

writer: moonlightchildz

date published: 03/07/2020

pairings: taehyung x reader

warnings: smut: creampie, fingering, unprotected sex, oral f. receiving, uhh does dirty talk count??, use of drug (weed), & angst

description: you were utterly and irrevocably in love with kim taehyung. problem was that he was your best friend’s ex.

word count: 21.2k (whoops)

His lips are roaming the crook of your neck, tongue sweeping your skin. His hands are placed on the wall that you’re backed into, eyes watching you as you begin to lose yourself into his touch. You’re mewling at just the sensation of his mouth on your skin, hands beginning to tangle themselves into his long, wavy hair. His wet kisses start to trail up your neck, kissing the side of your mouth as you giggle, eyes opening to finally see him.

“Taehyung,” you pull him closer, noses nudging against each other’s. He hasn’t kissed you yet and you’re becoming a tad bit crazier as each second passes since you need to kiss him at this point.

“I love you,” he whispers it out against your mouth, fingers encasing your mouth to keep you close to him. Your eyes widen, fingers becoming numb. “I love you.”

And before you could utter those same words out to him, you woke up.

“Holy fuck,” you panted out heavily, hands trembling as you tried to get yourself together. You glanced around your bedroom, noting that it’s past three am and you feel those familiar tears paint your face once again.

You did not just have a wet dream of fucking your best friend’s ex.

——

“What’s wrong with you this morning?”

Hyejin eyed you skeptically, innspecting your bodry from head to toe.

“I couldn’t sleep very well last night,” you partially admitted to your best friend. There was no way in hell you were going to tell your best friend you had a dream of being fucked thoroughly by her ex-boyfriend. Oh and let’s not forget the part where he told you he loved you.

“Yeah it looks like you had one fucked up night,” she mused out and you just ignored her for her sake. Instead you dragged your way to the fridge, trying to find something edible to have at four in the morning. Once you finally found your culprit, Frosted Flakes, you decided you needed some bananas in it as well.

“Why are you still up?” You asked with a mouthful of cereal. Your best friend just kept analyzing you since you knew you probably looked quite sad and vulnerable right now in her eyes.

She immediately grabbed herself a bowl and joined you. “Joon left an hour ago and I just took a shower. I have today off so no worries.”

Regardless if she didn’t have today off, she still would be staying up until her shift started. She was that insanely chaotic.

“Anyway, Joon is coming over so—“

You were already groaning. Whenever Namjoon came over that meant you either slept with your headphones plugged in with all of the high volume on, or spending the night somewhere else that wouldn’t require you to throw yourself out your bedroom window. Namjoon and Hyejin were just so unnecessarily loud when fucking, it was irritating and ruining your much adored sleeping hours. Not to mention that Namjoon was also one of your best friends. In fact, you and that absolute clumsy moron were practically sibling soulmates. So it was definitely weird seeing both of your worlds just collide into one.

“I’m not in the mood to spend the night somewhere else.”

“Actually he’ll be spending the weekend next week so,” she paused, taking your reaction in. You didn’t know what kind of expression she saw on your face, but she hastily began to launch into an apologetic but semi aggressive rant. “Look, his water is gonna be out for the weekend cause he’s reconstructing his bathroom. He was already going to stay at this expensive ass hotel, but I’m not letting him when he can crash here with me. Also, y/n, he’s your best friend.”

You never had a problem with your best friend’s lovers that is until she started dating the ever so artistically, beautifully, and charismatic man named Kim Taehyung, but that’s another story to tell. Namjoon was a great guy. He was sweet, poetic, and everything a man should be but he was also careless, clumsy, and a complete nimrod. Yeah he was your best friend, but it just weird it you out that these two suddenly started dating a year ago. You remember passing out with Namjoon on your bed after your little drinking session of cheap vodka had escalated. Namjoon was all wrapped up in your covers and you were thrown on him, mouth wide open with drool collecting on our pillow. Hyejin had stormed in and immediately raged. If you could color the way her face looked, it would be more along the lines of an angry, magenta red.

She was screaming ‘how could you do this to me?’ and ‘you know what I’ve been through’ but poor Namjoon was still knocked out, snoring his problems away. She tried coming at you and you just ran away screaming at her to fuck off. By the time she got you, Namjoon was widely awake and ripping her off from you, yelling at her to get away from you. The misunderstanding was cleared up, but you never really forgave her for thinking that you could ever betray her like that. Even when she was with Taehyung, you never once tried to get with him. Your friendship with him was just that, a heartbreaking and one side love that had turned into a beautiful friendship.

And then he left without a trace.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you immediately launched into your list of do’s and don’ts. “He’s not touching my food, he has to pick up after himself, whatever the hell he breaks he’s paying for or I will drive my foot up his ass so far you’re going to be kissing it goodnight instead, okay?” You smiled rather sweetly at her, but she knew you meant business.

Hyejin was already nodding, launching off her chair to throw her arms around your neck in such excitement. Getting to agree to bring boyfriends over was a cautious decision ever since her last relationship. She was more secretive, more reserved, and wouldn’t overshare anymore. That still didn’t change the fact that you both loved each other so much despite everything. However, Namjoon was your best friend first, so any stupid ideas that she got were immediately shot down by Namjoon and you. Which brings you back to this predicament.

“Thank you, thank you, and thank you!” She squealed in your ear and as much as you loved her, having her scream in your ear at nearing five in the morning wasn’t something you wanted to endure anymore.

“Uh huh,” you sighed and gently pried her off you. With that, you finished your bowl, threw it inside the sink, and bid her a goodnight before you dragged yourself back to bed. You figured tomorrow was going to be a long day at work.

And it was.

It was filled with reports, your dickhead of a boss assigning you the worse people to work on a proposal that was due next week, and honestly you couldn’t believe you chose this field instead of something you would genuinely like to do. Society had its way of bending you over and fucking you over completely. Thinking about that, you then realized you hadn’t actually fucked anyone in over a year again. It reminded you just how lonely and saddened life had become for you. It only reminded you of him and how much you missed him wholeheartedly. It was honestly pathetic. Stop, you told yourself. Just stop it already.

If live was a canvas, everything would be shaded in with the grayest and darkest of colors. Splattered paint would angrily cover it, and to soothe the pain it would be with gentle strokes of the softest of white. There were moments in life that you knew the soft white color would turn into a variety of others, it’s just the timing wasn’t right now. And as you wandered aimlessly around the museum, you started noticing your surroundings once you turned the corner and saw a more colorful perspective of art being displayed on the wall. Every single painting looked the same in a sense, but you knew in your eyes that it wasn’t.

Each stroke, each color, each scheme represented something that the artist itself was trying to portray to themselves, or anyone feeling the same as them. It differed from love, anger, fervor passion, and distinguishable sadness that welcomed you so warmly. It wasn’t until you reached the last painting, when you slowly came to a stop. Everything about it screamed at you, demanding your utmost attention. Because even as the brightest of colors covered the canvas, the picture itself contrasted it. There was two figures. You presumed it was a male and female. One was in the middle shinning as brightly as they can, and the other remained in the shadows. But as you inspected it closer, you realized that it hid in the shadows of her colors, watching her. A hand was spread out and you could see on the palm of his hand was split with her colors, and the other with what seemed to be his.

It was breathtakingly beautiful. And it reminded you of someone so much that you felt something spill from your cheeks. Your hand was trembling as you tried to stop the drops that were falling and you claimed it was just raining. It was.

It was severely raining inside your soul.

And then your eyes glanced over at the artist’s name: Silly by Vante

You blinked once, then twice, and then finally you had to lean against the wall to sustain yourself properly. There was no way in hell this could be happening to you right now. There was no way in hell that life could be this cruel to you in this instant. But the shaking in your fingers, the quivering in your lips, and the sobs that were lodged in your throat begged to differ. All you wanted was a distraction, not a wakening alarm. So before you lost your shit, you tried gathering the last remaining bits and pieces of yourself before you lost those too since it had taken ages to collect those when he had left.

You felt a presence behind you and you just wanted to get out of there and breathe. Time felt as if it was slowing down, the ticking began to commence.

A painting by him? Here? Here?

“y/n?”

Your bags slipped from your fingertips.

You didn’t turn around.

By the sound of just their voice you already knew who it was and honestly you felt your heart and mind were just playing tricks on you. Your mind knew what your heart needed and it was simply giving it to you in a sense of a vague memory of him. You were going batshit crazy.

“I know it’s you,” he spoke up after a moment and that confirmed it.

He was actually here. He was actually here.

You hadn’t seen him, or even spoken to him after your best friend broke up with him. He had vanished out of your life the second they were done and even though you told yourself several of times that he wasn’t yours to even yearn for, your heart didn’t give a fuck. In the wake of an ending relationship, a friendship had blossomed between you and him. So in a way it was like a break up to you too. You had lost someone special in your life and you didn’t even get to say goodbye. You didn’t get to say goodbye to him, or your pending feelings for him.

No matter how hard you tried to sustain yourself, you didn’t want to turn around. Because once you turned, you’d have to face reality and you weren’t exactly prepared for that in that instant. Your eyes were set on the wall, tears prickling. Don’t cry you weak little bitch. Suck it up and breathe. It was the beating of your heart and the jitters that reminded you that you were indeed alive and still breathing despite everything. And it was screaming, ‘he’s back’ with such intensity. With a deep breath, you slowly turned around.

He was carrying shopping bags in both hands. His hair was matted up as usual, but there was now a gleam in his eyes like never before. You noticed his hair had gotten longer, strands of dark brown hair covered his eyes. His beige cotton sweater complimented his skin so well and fit so loosely on him. Not to mention those brown plaid pajama pants that he would wear every day because he claimed ‘it’s fashionable these days’ and ‘look! It matches everything I wear’. But despite his physical exterior changing, the way his eyes shone immediately whispered to your aching heart that he hadn’t.

Taehyung. My Taehyung.

Out of all the days he could show up, it just happened to be that same day he had surprised you in your dreams. It happened to be the day you had wandered inside the museum you had met him in two years ago.

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

You were utterly speechless. “I’ve always loved the concept of the sun, moon, and the stars. It’s sort of a love triangle between them. You know the story of how the sun died every night just to let her breathe? Well, the stars make the essence of the sky. It unifies them, ties them together and makes them even more beautiful. But people think of stars separately. They don’t see the stars with the sun and the moon even though they should be.”

The stranger turned to look at you. “Have you ever considered that the stars alone don’t need the sun and the moon? They are their own separate entity. They shine brightly with, or without them.”

“They are uniquely beautiful. And the whole romance between the sun and the moon is bittersweet since yeah they were once together in a sense, but they don’t complement each other. The stars do.”

You had missed him so dearly and now he was just a few feet away from you, looking toned and practically glowing. In that second, you felt your body go numb and haywire simultaneously. All of these thoughts whirled inside your mind as your body stay put in its place because he was right there. All you wanted to do was cry and be welcomed back into his arms. Your heart yearned for it as all of the memories that you created with him overwhelmed you once again.

It was summer again.

You were laying on his lap, babbling away some nonsense since you were drunk. Taehyung on the other hand was just amusingly watching you, responding back to you and even questioning you more. Your best friend had already fallen asleep on his bed, leaving you both alone in the dark as you both softly whispered to each other. Empty glasses of wine stood on the outdoor table along with a jar of weed, and there was your bong sitting beside it.

“You’re so cute,” he bopped your nose and you rolled your eyes. You tried swatting his hand away but instead he just pinched the bridge of your nose softly.

“If I’m so cute, then why am I still single,” you whined out and Taehyung just softly chuckled. “You know, whenever I see you and Hyejin I get a little sad.”

“I’m sorry.” He immediately responded, but you hadn’t caught that.

“But it’s because I’m reminded that I don’t have anyone to kiss, or hug, or even share something with. I mean for fucks sake, I haven’t fucked anyone since—” you counted your fingers and whined some more upon realizing just how long you’ve been dry. “Oh my god it’s been a year.”

Taehyung quirked an eyebrow. “I find that very hard to believe.”

“Me too.” You agreed and Taehyung remained silent. Curious upon his silence, you glanced up to see him intently gazing down at you. It was as if he was caught in his own thoughts. His finger delicately traced the underside of your chin rather gently and as you both continued to speak in hush whispers to each other, you wondered what went on that pretty head of his when it came to you. Deep in your heart you knew the reason why you hadn’t let another person touch you intimately. They just weren’t him.

The way you both greeted each other had become a routine even.

“Hey there, silly.” He greeted you quite enthusiastically, arm slinging over your shoulders. He pulled you towards his side and you made yourself comfortable, a smile already laced on your lips.

“Hey there you twat,” you happily chirped out but Taehyung had another set of plans since he teasingly ruffled your hair and you whined, hitting his chest rather harshly.

“Oh no, no!” He was quick in stopping the both of you. From behind, you could feel his warm hands slide over your sides before wrapping his arms around you, spinning you around as you began laughing and telling him to stop.

The feeling of his hands on your skin kept you wide awake for nights.

“What are we doing tonight by the way?”

You glanced over at Taehyung who was already awaiting your answer. The both of you were on the couch side by side. There was a respective amount of distance between the two of you in the beginning, but then a fighting footsie battle had initiated and you were leaning on his shoulder now, watching him play on your Playstation 4.

“You sir,” you tapped his nose to try and gain his attention. “Have a date with Hyejin tonight, remember?”

He squinted, tilted his head back, and made a motion of opening his mouth to bite your finger rather than answering. You just shoved him back by the push of your hand on his forehead. It was after a couple of minutes later that he decided to say, “That doesn’t mean we can meet later? I wanna show you my new playstation.” He then pouted as you started shaking your head.

“Can’t. She told me she had a special surprise for you so,” you smiled, though it didn’t exactly meet your eyes this time. “I’ll be staying at Namjoon’s tonight.”

“Oh,” His movements on the controller suddenly slowed down, attention span lost. “Namjoon? You mean that dorky professor who everyone has a crush on?”

“You mean the dweeb that is my best friend?” you corrected him, finding it amusing that everyone around you did in fact have a crush on Namjoon. “Yeah.”

“Right.” He drawled out, clearly not buying it.

“Anyways, I have to get ready for work soooo,” You ruffled his hair and quickly ran past him because you knew he would follow you and tickle you endlessly. From behind your closed door, you heard him whine in return.

“MY HAIR.”

“Have fun on your date!” You shouted instead, softly giggling to yourself like a school girl.

“I’ll try.” He quipped and you were left there wondering if he meant it, or if he was genuinely playing around.

And then, there was that one night that changed everything around you.

Hyejin had been pestering you about your love life, trying to interrogate you as to why you were always so single and lonely. It did aggravate you at times. It felt as if she was pouring salt and lime all over your wound, but there was one night where she had set up a blind date with someone who you were definitely not interested in knowing at all. She wanted you to tag along to her and Taehyung’s date. You obviously declined, but it’s not like she ever listened in the first place.

“I don’t wanna go,” you told her, but she was not having it.

“I worked hard for this night and you Miss are not going to ruin it.”

“Dude, just go without me. I’m sure you rather not spend time alone with Tae.”

She stopped swirling the batter she was keen on making for pancakes. Something about the way she glanced over you, as if something was at the tip of her tongue should have raised concerned. Slowly, she prompted, “Tae?”

You on the other hand were carelessly flipping over your notebook, trying to review your notes for exam season that was quickly approaching. “Your boyfriend?” you told her, pouting once you realized your head was hurting beyond belief.

“I never knew you and him were that close,” she noted, eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“Well, that’s what happens when you’re a third wheel in your best friend’s relationship,” you carelessly joked, but she didn’t laugh. She just stayed silent.

You figured it was the nerves since she always tended to get very easily irritated whenever something important was coming up. Her anniversary with Taehyung was just weeks away and she was racking her brain for ideas. And since you were her best friend, you obviously had to hear it and even voice your opinions. It was definitely some cruel and twisted joke. However, after that day she never spoke to you about Taehyung anymore.

Then the date night came.

“Tae is here,” you notified Hyejin once you received his text to open the door. She was prancing around the room, trying to make sure she looked like perfection when in reality she already was. Your best friend was honestly beautiful inside and out, no wonder Taehyung was so in love with her.

You were about to step out to let Taehyung in to let her continue getting ready when Hyejin spread out her arm, stopping you from walking out of your room. You blinked twice, trying to understand what was happening.

“My boyfriend is here so I go first,” she tried joking, passing past you before you could walk out into the living room. You simply stepped aside and signaled her to walk before you. You figured it was just the nerves.

“You look gorgeous,” you overheard Taehyung tell Hyejin. She giggled quite loudly and you glanced over your phone, definitely not having it tonight. Maybe you could pretend you were sick?

“Where’s y/n?” Taehyung suddenly asked, his deep voice making its way into your heart.

At the sound of your name slipping past his lips, your nerves simmered down. You could do it. It was just one night that you had to endure. Everything would be okay. Without a much glance at yourself, you began walking into the living room to accompany them. You were texting Wheein and Yongsun, trying to find their encouragement words as motivation for tonight.

“Wow,” was what made you look up from your phone as soon as you stepped foot inside the living room. Wow indeed. Taehyung was so insanely handsome in rendered you speechless. His short hair had been permed like he had told you he would do it and you wondered how it would feel like against your fingers. He wore a light grey long overcoat that covered the creamy-white dress shirt that molded to his body like second skin. His dress pants made his ass stand out and you noted the rings that decorated his hand so prettily. His pretty dark brown eyes was all that you could think of in that moment.

“We’re matching,” Taehyung grinned, eyes firmly set on your eyes now.

You glanced down at yourself and laughed, because yes, you both were matching. A creamy white champagne high low dress complimented your body. The straps hung loose on your arms where you decided to put a bracelet and to compliment it you wore rings on your fingers. The jacket that you had on was a light grey color and your curly hair had been pinned up by the sides.

Taehyung’s grin was endless that it made your heart flutter.

“You look really beautiful,” he said and you wondered if the smile you instantly let on your face screamed the evident feelings you had for him.

“She would have looked better in another dress.” Hyejin spoke up, eyes raking your body from head to toe. “Also those heels are old and worn out. You wanna wear some of mine instead? You know the ones that Taehyung gave to me?”

“No,” you shook your head, still smiling. “I wouldn’t want them to get dirty, or worse trip and break them.”

Taehyung’s grin slowly morphed into a disappointed frown. He glanced over at his girlfriend, eyebrow quirked. In return you glanced her way and then back at Taehyung who seemed to be getting irritated as each minute passed.

“So, are we just gonna stare at each other, or can we leave already? Your date is already waiting for you over there, y/n.” She said, eagerly signaling you to walk out before them.

Taehyung began coughing, hands turning an awful white from how hard he was curling his fist. And Hyejin immediately started spluttering out, “Babe, are you okay? Would a kiss make it better?”

And that was your cue for you to let them be. You grabbed Taehyung’s keys from the couch and then you simply told them you would wait in the car, leaving them inside. They took quite a while to come down, but once they joined you inside you noticed there was a certain tension between them, and it was starting to suffocate you.

“Oh, fuck I forgot my purse in my apartment. y/n, go get it.”

“No,” you flatly responded. “You go get it. It’s cold and I’m being dragged out to this, remember?”

“Boo,” she pouted and then sighed heavily. “I guess we’re not going anywhere then.”

“Hyejin,” Taehyung suddenly spoke out, his patience wearing thin. “Are you good? Why are you acting so bratty lately? If y/n doesn’t wanna go then—”

“Leave her out of this,” she gritted out, surprising you momentarily. “She is fine. I’m the one who is not. I’m fucking cold, you know, your girlfriend? So can you go get my purse and my jacket?”

Taehyung inhaled deeply, face remaining stoic before he calmly exited out of the car. She watched him slowly walk back up the stairs and you remained silent for a bit, trying to figure it out how to approach your best friend without pissing her off furthermore.

“Hyejin, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, y/n.” She snapped and you bit down on your lip, restraining yourself from provoking her. The last thing you needed was a fight between the two of you. He came back after ten minutes and once he started driving, you sighed. Hyejin started talking to him then, animatedly telling him how the guy was a perfect for you and she couldn’t wait for you to meet him. She even joked about getting rid of you finally.

“Now Taehyung will be able to finally spend the night again.”

Except her plans backfired for that night since your blind date didn’t have the nerve to cancel last minute. Though that didn’t hurt you as much as watching them together in front of you. Hyejin clung on to Taehyung, seductively muttering nonsense into his ear but his eyes were set on you. Yeah having to endure them together was something you had to put up with since that was your best friend, but just the realization that he’ll never be yours to love wholeheartedly did the trick that night.

You remember excusing yourself and rushing into the bathroom stall where your tears were hidden from everyone in that moment. You clung on to your dress, eyes blurry as you felt your heart break further more. Your back was against the stall and you were huddled into your own bitter demise because why? Out of everyone in this goddamn world did you have to fall for someone who belonged to someone else?

“Get yourself together, bitch.” You sniffled out, trembling hands beginning to wipe away your tears. “You’re no pussy, hoe.”

Once you repeatedly told yourself that mantra, you gathered your shit together temporarily. You hastily splashed water on your face, trying to erase evidence of your downfall since you couldn’t handle looking at yourself anymore. After a couple of minutes of just resting your forearms on the sink, head between your arms, you reminded yourself that you could just go home. You would excuse yourself from their date, leave in an Uber, and go to Namjoon’s since you didn’t want to handle Hyejin. Not whenever you were so close to breaking.

The moment you stepped foot outside though, you spotted Taehyung pacing back and forth, talking to himself. He was running his fingers through his hair, tugging at it insistently.

“Tae?”

He stopped at the sound of your voice, hands falling to his sides as he turned to face you.

“Hey there silly,” he softly spoke upon seeing you. He was quick to approach you and you allowed him to pull you close into his arms, inhaling his sweet scent. You allowed yourself the comfort as his hands caressed your back. “I’m sorry she put you up to this. I told her you weren’t comfortable.”

You allowed yourself to curl up further into his embrace, hands sliding underneath his arms, digging into his shoulder blades. You felt as if you were crumbling and he was here collecting your pieces, helping you remain intact for a little longer.

“It’s okay, I’m just tired really.” You croaked out, genuinely feeling drained in that moment. “I’m just tired of constantly having to fight myself for something that is out of my control.”

“We’re leaving okay? I’m going to take you to that stupid noodle place you love so much and play that dumb board game that you’ve been wanting us to play. I think we have some left over face masks, too. And of course your favorite thing in the world?”

“Weed?” you hopefully asked and Taehyung just laughed.

“On a serious note,” he began murmuring it out, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that unsympathetic asshole, but in reality I’m sorry for him. He missed out on an amazing woman who lights up her surroundings with just a glance of her eyes.”

“You’re too kind sometimes, Kim Taehyung,” you softly told him. Please stop.

He slowly bent down, eyes set on you now. His hands framed your face so tenderly and you swore fate was cruel to you. “I’m being 100 percent honest with you right now. You are such an amazing person and I—”

He suddenly halted. You could feel the way his hands curled around your face, fingertips slowly tracing your skin. The way he was gazing at you and tenderly touching you made your heart flutter. It made forgetting him ridiculously harder than it already was.

“If I were an artist, I wouldn’t hesitate to make as many portraits as it takes to make you realize just how beautiful you are.”

“But you are an artist,” you immediately interject, not having it. Taehyung was an incredible artist, but he always claimed he was the contrary. He didn’t really see the talent that he possessed, but in your eyes he was the next Van Gogh. After all, he had painted your world in a variety of colors.

He laughed softly to himself, and instead of saying more, he simply pulled you back into his arms. The moment you felt his lips trace your head something strange had happened. As he held you in his embrace, your fingers curled into his shirt, the desire to kiss him becoming incredibly stronger than remembering that he wasn’t yours. But as he reassured you with the sweetest of words, you realized you were utterly and irrevocably in love with Kim Taehyung.

It was a few weeks later after the date night when Taehyung had called you at exactly seven in the afternoon. You weren’t alone in the apartment since Hyejin was preparing herself for the ‘happiest night of her life’ as she claimed. She was bragging and constantly telling you about it to the point where your heart and mind connected to tuning her out whenever she did. Instead, your thoughts rewind it back to that night. That night when you realized just how deeply your feelings for him were coursing through your veins. Ever since then, you hadn’t seen him.

Then as soon as you were tucked inside your covers, heartbroken, and ready for bed, his unexpected call came through. You didn’t even say hello before he was sputtering out, “Can you come over? Please? I-I need, um, it’s an emergency.”

He hung up after that. All kinds of scenarios formed in your mind in that instant. Was he hurt? Did he finally realized he no longer wanted you in his life? Maybe he needed help in picking out his outfit for the perfect night tonight. So with your pjs on, you slid on a hoodie and secretly left without telling your best friend anything. Either way she didn’t notice.

“You actually came,” Taehyung spoke up, sounding weak and even relieved in a sense.

You mustered up a tiny, but genuine closed lip smile. “Of course, dummy.”

“I thought you were ignoring me,” he said, pausing afterwards to see you. His eyes trailed your body from head to toe, a tiny grin replacing the worried frown he had earlier.

“Shut it,” you immediately told him, huffing. Yes, you were wearing mickey mouse pajama pants, and yes Taehyung was grinning widely now.

“This isn’t even about me so—” you stopped talking once you realized just how distraught he really seemed. “Tae, what the hell happened to you?”

His hair was everywhere, dark heavy bags underlined his eyes, and all over his clothes was splattered paint. Without even intending so, you quickly approached him. Your hands were framing his face before you could detain yourself, eyes roaming his features. He had purple, green, pink, gold, and blue paint adorning his handsome face.

“Hey,” with a soft whisper, you demanded, “talk to me.”

He simply responded back with his beautiful, signature, boxy smile. “I rather show you instead.”

Confused, you glanced up at him and he just pulled you closer to him. His hand pressed against the back of your head, hugging you fully now. And you just complied with your hearts desires and inhaled deeply his scent. Your hands tentatively wrapped around his sides, ear placed directly against his beating heart.

“Thank you for coming,” he softly spoke to you and you hummed in peace. “You made me realize what I finally need to do now.”

Of course, after all, you were in love with him. You would do anything in order to retain that beautiful smile of his, even if it meant breaking your own heart in the process. Because the person who was responsible for his happiness, for that smile, and for his heart was someone else.

“Come,” his voice rumbled throughout his chest and you nodded, your heart sighing. He was pulling away from you, slowly, and you found yourself not wanting to let go. You found yourself wishing you didn’t feel this way about your friend, about your confidant, and about your best friend’s boyfriend but the heart wants what it wants.

“Someone missed me,” Taehyung mused out, glancing down at you. His arms immediately went back around your body, wrapping you up so warmly against him in a way that made your heart stammer beyond control.

“As much as I love this,” he chuckled, his deep, honey like voice sounding like a melody in your ears. “I’ve been working on this for weeks and it’s really important.”

“Okay.” You let go of him, reminding yourself where your place should be. You shyly glanced up at him and found him already looking at you. He didn’t say anything else, instead, his fingers tentatively interlocked with yours.

The feeling of his hand sliding and interlacing with your own, only enhanced everything around you. You felt dizzy and lightheaded from just being near him, but now he was holding your hand as he led you through his apartment.

Taehyung unlocked a door that had always been secured. He didn’t even allow Hyejin to see what was in there, much less go into the said room. You slowly followed behind, curious eyes taking in every detail. All around the three walls, paintings were hung. The only light that was being portrayed was by the wall to wall sliding doors. The room was painted with beige colors, and next to the doors you could see pillows and blankets strewn. Alongside stood bottles of water, wine, and his color palette that had been heavily used judging by the colors that were grimy and mixed together.

“Okay but these paintings are beautiful as fuck, holy shit.” You were in absolute awe that you let go of his hand first. “Can I?” you whispered out, unsure if it was okay to taint his pretty art with your touch.

He simply smiled.

So you went around the room, curious eyes taking in every detail because Taehyung had taken seconds, minutes, hours, days, or even weeks out of his life to pour his soul into these canvases and convert them into his own art. You gazed in fascination since he managed to mix every color together, creating these contracting meshes into one. It depicted him so well, and you felt an overwhelming pride upon seeing these because he finally painted.

It was the last painting that made you stop and really take time and depth into analyzing it.

“Do they remind you of something?” He was behind you, probably just a couple of inches away from you since you could feel his warm breath fan the back of your neck.

You tilted your head, trying to decipher what it meant. The painting was eccentric from the start. In the background the colors were shaded in dark monotone colors but in the center of the painting there was a figure that resembled a woman that was outlined with soulful colors. Hues of pinks, blues, yellow, green, and everything in between surrounded the figure that happened to have their eyes closed with a smile. As you sank to your knees to get a closer view, you traced the stars in the background with your fingertips. Something about it reminded you of something but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it yet. Stars? The moon and the sun were parallel to each other. The stars were everywhere though, outshining them both in a sense. An overwhelming emotion clouded your senses once seeing the painting as a whole. The woman was painted beautifully.

“It was the first time we met,” he quietly explained and you felt the air in your lungs rapidly leave your body. “At the art exhibit. I remember you telling me about how you’re stupidly obsessed with the concept of stars, the moon, and the sun.”

“Is that...” you swallowed thickly, hysteria bubbling up inside of you. No, no, it couldn’t be what you were thinking.

“Read the back of it,” he softly spoke behind you.

“I-I,” you started blubbering out, your eyesight momentarily blurring for a second. As your finger traced the stars, you felt the sob lodged in your throat threatening to spill out.

Silly.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung was quick to pick up on your mannerisms. He seemed concerned upon seeing the tears in your eyes once you turned around to face him.

“You idiot,” you simply muttered out before launching yourself at him. Arms winded around his neck and Taehyung softly chuckled before wrapping his strong arms around you. You inhaled his scent, finding comfort in his arms and just him overall.

“Thank you,” your voice was muffled out by his clothing. “Thank you.”

“It’s yours, if you want it.” He softly spoke out, chin on top of your head. His thumb was rubbing soothing circles on to your exposed skin, humming along to whatever song was on his mind in that moment.

You simply nodded, afraid if you spoke something else would end up happening in that moment. Your quivering lips ghosted over his exposed skin, hot breath fanning against his chest. His movements stopped suddenly, and you could feel him inhale sharply. Your fingers were digging into his sides, tears beginning to stain his shirt now.

“I—” you choked out, not really finding the right words to say to him.

“Please don’t cry,” he begged you, his hands cupping your cheeks. You could feel his hot breath fan against your lips. His nose nudged against yours and you felt a dizzying spell overwhelm your soul upon being so close. He was tantalizing you without even meaning to. Just by the way his breath ghosted your face, your mind had wiped clean your conscious. He was so close. He was just there. His fingers were tangling into your hair, unspoken words being desperately told with just a flickering of eyes between the two of you.

“You are so undeniably, bewitchingly, ethereally beautiful.” He softly confessed against your mouth. You felt the murmur of his lips against yours and it just enhanced his lovely words into your heart. The pad of his finger softly ghosted over your bottom lip and you didn’t realize how utterly close the both of you were until you felt the erratic beating of his heart. Your fingers wandered up his arms, suddenly stopping once they were around his neck.

“y/n, I—” he breathed out, his lips slowly and just inches away from finally meeting yours. Your eyes were fluttering to a close, almost allowing yourself to finally dive head into what was Kim Taehyung, but just as your heart almost gave up on you, your mind thought of something immediately.

“Hyejin,” you threw out, eyes widening. Hyejin. Images of your best friend flickered in your brain, the red warning flags finally slapping you back to reality. A reality where Kim Taehyung was not yours and will never be yours. His heart belonged to someone else.

“Oh fuck,” he suddenly blurted out as you were pushing him away from you. The both of you instantly fell apart in that moment. Shame quickly took a whole of you now and the mortification and guilt was just eating you away as you tried to avoid Taehyung’s gaze.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” you shakily said, your heart breaking with each word you uttered out.

Taehyung had his eyes screwed shut, his hands hastily tugging at the roots of his hair in what seemed desperation. “I, uh, I actually have to meet up with her.” He said as an afterthought, and then his eyes widened. “Oh fuck, I have to go pick her up in twenty minutes.”

He glanced your way and you simply did not look at him at all. After all, you were just seconds away from kissing him and rendering straight into his arms. Your feelings had begun to control you and that had become incredibly dangerous now. You knew deep in your heart that you needed to get away from him because you were sure the next time you wouldn’t remember Hyejin. But that’s what happens when you’re trapped with the person you’re in love with. Feelings tend to tangle you up, choking you up until you’re forced to breathe because you’re suffocating on the inside from all the kept up emotions.

Despite everything, you were already demanding him, “Taehyung, go get showered and dressed.” You didn’t even spare him a glance as you walked past him. Your hands were trembling, head whirling, and broken pieces leading from Taehyung’s hands to wherever you were heading into now.

“Hey, wait.” He was trailing after you, hand encasing your arm to stop you. He held you back, managing to spin you halfway from the sudden momentum. His eyes were pleading, feet unconsciously nearing you. “Please, look at me. We need to talk abo—”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you back like that.” You blurted out, your trembling fingers taking off his hand from your skin. It was too much. You wouldn’t even dare to look him straight in the eye because you knew you were bound to cry and spill everything that your heart was just aching you to at this point.

“What?” he sounded incredulous, eyebrows furrowing as he slowly said the following words, “Don’t you ever apologize for spending time with me. I love being around you.”

Despite everything, you meekly wondered, “Really?”

His fingertips were already marking their way into your skin, comforting you without him meaning to. “So much that you make me forget life altogether.”

It was so messy. You wondered when everything in your life had become such havoc. How everything had spiraled out of control and you no longer were in reign over your emotions. The moment Kim Taehyung pranced into your life, you knew you were bound to be fucked. You didn’t expect to fall so in love with your best friend’s boyfriend. You just didn’t expect such heartbreak in return after this moment.

“Taehyung,” you croaked out, tears slipping past your cheeks. “I—”

“What is it?” He tried nearing you, but with each step he took you backtracked. “Just tell me already. I know you fee—”

“Hyejin,” was all you could muster out. You couldn’t do that to her. No way.

I love you, but you are not mine to love Kim Taehyung. At least, not in this lifetime.

You flung his hand away from you, already walking away from him, muttering out, “I’ll see you around.”

That same night you trailed your broken hearted soul back to Namjoon’s penthouse. His keys dangled on your fingers, mocking you with each step you took towards your own demise. He wasn’t there so that made it even worse. Namjoon had been your comfort, best friend, and soulmate since the first time you both met. In fact, your friendship was stronger than yours and Hyejin’s combined. Unfortunately though, he wouldn’t be there to hold you tonight and you decided it was okay. You figured you’d cook for the both of you whenever he decided to come back from girlfriend number four.

You knew going back to your place was a big, fat, fucking no. After all, Taehyung and Hyejin were probably celebrating their first grand anniversary together and you didn’t want to be there. No one wanted to witness who they were irrevocably in love with be someone else. It just reminded you of the heartbreak, sadness, and tears all over again. Sighing, you made your way inside, going into Namjoon’s room to retrieve your left over clothes from last time to change into. You didn’t want to be in clothes where Taehyung had left his mark on.

Fortunately for you though, Namjoon had arrived quite early from his date.

“I thought you weren’t going to be here.” You said with a mouth full of mint chocolate ice cream. Even though Namjoon despised that flavor with all the fiber in his body, he still always went out to retrieve some from you.

“I had a feeling you’d be a mess tonight so I brought this,” he said, lifting a recycling bag. His dimples were showcasing, eyes slightly squinted from how cutely he was smiling. “I went grocery shopping so we can make pasta!”

“Oh, well I made your favorite a while ago as well. How about you roll up this—” you brought up the baggy that was filled with weed. “And serves us some wine while I cook the pasta?”

He sighed, hand over heart as he melodramatically said, “Sounds like utter heaven.”

And that’s exactly what happened. He sat across from you, legs crossed with a blunt in his hand as he waited for his pasta to slightly cool down. You were already gone, loving the hazy effect it had on you. Soft music was playing and you were doing okay, but then a particular song came on that made you remember him all over again.

“I don’t know the situation between you and him, but it has you fucked over so badly. I’ve never seen you so head over heels over someone, much less a man.” Namjoon suddenly spoke up after watching you. There were tears already brimming in your eyes as you tried to blink them back.

“If I told you who it was you wouldn’t be this nice to me.” You quietly muttered out, avoiding his curious gaze. But you kept on forgetting who you were talking to after all. Namjoon was always one step ahead of you, he was only giving you space.

“You are my best friend, you idiot.” He fiercely reminded you, arms wrapping around you. “I know you like the back of my hand so whoever it is I know you’re not doing it on purpose to hurt yourself, or anyone else.”

“He’s just different. I don’t know what made me just fall into oblivion for him, but he makes me feel safe, secured, and at home.”

“But?”

You glanced down at your hands, heart aching to the point where you just wanted it to stop. “But he’s not mine, Namjoon. He belongs to someone else, and they are just so in love with each other.”

“It’s Taehyung isn’t it.” He didn’t ask, rather he stated it. At this point you weren’t going to deny it. After all, you were hell bent on not seeing him anymore after today. It was for the best. Your silence however spoke rather than your own words could. Tears were staining your cheeks, a choked up sob escaping from your lips. You hastily covered your mouth with your hands to prevent anymore, eyes screwing shut as the pain coursed through your body.

“C’mere,” Namjoon gestured you towards him and you instantly wrapped yourself around him like a koala. You leaned your head against his chest, your eyes fluttering to a close as he began to rock you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. You wondered how you had lucked out with finding Namjoon. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t feel and be this safe in his arms. This love you felt for him reminded you of how strong your bond was with him. He’d do anything to protect you just as you would as well. And right now seeing you sob against his chest broke your soulmate apart.

“Love is a bitch, y/n. But one thing I know is that if it’s meant to be, then it’s worth fighting for…the right way that is. Right now I know you feel this intense fervor of love you have for him won’t go away anytime soon, but I promise you it is. Put some distance between you and him. If you find yourself going back to him, then all I can tell you is to talk to him. Talking does wonders, baby. ”

“It’s easier said than done. Also, Hyejin is my best friend and are you forgetting that Taehyung is still in love with her?”

He remained quiet. If Namjoon voiced out his real thoughts, he was sure he would just ignite the fire within your heart. So he sufficed with just holding you in his arms because this was the support you needed in this moment. You needed someone who could hold you and see through you. He figured Taehyung had dug deep beneath the depths of your secured heart and he wanted nothing than to go and ruin their precious little celebration. Regardless, he just hoped Taehyung was taken out of your life so you could get a whole of yourself again.

After midnight, your phone had begun to ring insistently. You were deep asleep, curled up in his covers as Namjoon stared at your phone. ‘Taehyungieee’ was the name flashing on the screen. Namjoon wondered what he wanted from you. No sane boyfriend would be calling their girlfriend’s best friend this late. He wondered just how you had developed these feelings for him and the answer was staring at him right on the face. The picture it flashed along with his name was you and him. You were on Taehyung’s back, arms lazily wrapped around him as you did bunny ears on him. His eyes were closed, but the huge grin plastered on his face made it evident that he was incredibly happy around you.

So Namjoon grabbed a hold of your phone and answered the call.

He was already sputtering out nonsense as soon as he answered the call. “I know it’s late, but I need to tell you something. I—I, I did something tonight and the only person who I only want to see in this moment is you. I don’t know what I was thinking, but today just reassured me that you—”

Namjoon was having none of it. “She’s with me, Taehyung.” He sharply cut him off, anger evident in his voice. “So I suggest you to stop playing with her feelings before I personally go over to your place and beat the fuck out of you. I don’t wanna hear any of your bullshit when all you’ve done is hurt her recklessly. Leave her the fuck alone, you don’t deserve her.”

Namjoon hung up. Your phone was tossed somewhere behind him after he deleted the call. He sighed into his hands. Now he knew why. He wondered if Hyejin knew too. He wondered if she was okay because you surely weren’t and you weren’t even his girlfriend. He glanced over at you, wondering when your heartbreak would end.

A week later, Taehyung had packed up everything and left. And in his wake, he had taken your heart with him too, the red string of your love attached to it, tangling until it was just a huge ball of sorrow.

And it goes back to now.

It’s him who breaks the silence. You watched as he calmly bent down to drop his bags on the ground and once he stood up again, his dark brown eyes met yours. He seemed hesitant in approaching you at first, but you felt yourself take a step closer to him involuntarily. You honestly could not believe it.

“Taehyung,” you finally acknowledged him, eyes meeting his. The way he gazed at you reminded you of the time in the hallway where he was declaring to you so many beautiful words and you had realized you were fucking in love with him.

He slowly inched closer, his hands twitching at his sides. It was him who took the final step, his arms slowly raising rather tentatively. A flicker of eyes was exchanged between the two of you, almost fleeting. Your fingers were already raising, yearning to touch him because you just had to make sure that this was real. However, the second his hands met your skin, reality had set in. Eyes widened, breathing had halted, and Taehyung’s arms were pulling you into his embrace so desperately. You practically lunged yourself at him, all teary eyed and with quivering lips spilling his name.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” he breathed out, his hot breath raising goosebumps all over your body. “And I missed you so much.” He whispered it out, but you heard it so loud and fucking clear. You dug your face into the crook of his neck, hands inches away from the nape of his hair that had gotten longer. Your side was curled up into his, eyes closed to keep the feeling of this moment engraved in your heart.

His hand was placed at the back of your head, keeping you in place in his arms. Your fingers dug into his skin, your mind trying to wrap around the idea that he was indeed here. He was here, and you were finally in his arms once again. His arms were strongly wrapped around your body, pulling you flush against him. His scent was everywhere. It was invading your senses, your way of thinking, and reigniting those feelings that you tried to burn away. Everything was just bubbling up inside and now you had to worry about waiting for it to burst once again.

Your Taehyung was back.

You felt his hand slowly travel down your spine, his fingers tracing every curve of your body before enveloping you in such a tight, vice grip. You could hardly breathe and you didn’t know if it was due to the excitement, or because he was just holding you so close to him so tightly. The beating of his heart was erratic against your chest and you inhaled his scent, not fully believing that he was finally back after such a long period of time.

“You have no idea just how much I wanted to come back every time you came into my mind.”

And then your clouded, foggy mind soon returned all the sorrow, heartbreak, and tears you had suffered all at once. That brief happiness of seeing him, of being reunited with him, and having him hold you like this would never fill up the hole he had dug out of your heart.

“I’m sure you did,” you bitterly bit out at him, remembering the shit he had put you through. No matter how comfortable you felt being in his arms again, you were already pulling away from him. “That definitely seemed like it when you just left and didn’t say anything to me, or anyone for a fact.”

It was too much. Just two years ago he had walked into your life, made you feel butterflies and heartbreak all at once. Two years ago, he had begun dating your best friend and all you could do was play along, pushing a side your own feelings. A year ago, he broke your best friend’s heart and yours simultaneously. And now, he’s back.

“I’m sorry,” his eyes were deeply filled with concern. Those hands gently framed your face, his thumb wiping away a tear that had fallen. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”

You just shook your head and laughed a little at the situation you were in. He was pulling you back into his embrace but you just removed his hands from you. He wasn’t allowing you think again. Snapping out of your trance you snarled out, “Just stop! Stop touching me and let me go.”

Taehyung seemed as he had been punched. His grip on you weakened automatically, eyes shining with turmoil trapped in them.

“I’m leaving,” you mustered out, avoiding his gaze once again. You knew if you glanced into those eyes you were going to turn into putty and run back to him like nothing. That was something you didn’t need right now. He couldn’t just prance back into your life without facing the consequences.

“Hey,” he started, his voice filled with despair and urgency. “Please wait, please,” he pleaded and you shook your head, trying to clear his voice from your mind. His hand intertwined with yours, tugging you back to him.

Your eyes widened at the feeling of his fingers interlocking with yours. If you could kiss him right now, you would. Every inch of your body was yearning to pull him and just kiss him because no amount of words would ever put it through your heart just how much you adored this man.

“I’m sorry I left like that, but I’m back now and I want to make things right, okay?” He tried resonating with you, but you figured moving on was the only way to keep you and your poor, fragile heart safe. “Here isn’t the place to talk, but please give me a chance to come back into your life again and explain why I left like that.”

You slowly disentangled your fingers from him and Taehyung faltered. You just grabbed your bags and said, “I can’t let you back into my life, not when it was so hard to let you go when you left me behind so easily.”

And with that said, Taehyung let you go.

—-

Tears spilled down your cheeks, and you knew your eyes were red and swollen, but you hadn’t felt any sort of emotion since he pranced into your life minutes ago. You were a blank canvas, but somehow Taehyung always managed to get you so beautifully painted with the brightest and warmest colors you could ever think of. Streaks of blues, purple, pinkish, orange and yellows hues adorned and blossomed from your soul, evolving as each day passed. All of these colors reminded you of how it felt to be around his presence. Of how it felt to slowly and all at once fall in love with a person.

“What’s wrong with you?” Hyejin murmured out, her arms were wrapped around you. She was leaning her head on your shoulder, eyes curiously gazing at you with worry. “I haven’t seen you this sad since last year.”

A bittersweet smile edged your lips. Of course destiny was cruel. To fall for a man who wasn’t, couldn’t, and still wouldn’t be yours. To be fair, falling for Taehyung came unexpectedly, but yet again everything with him was unexpected and beautiful in a sense that reminded you that you were alive and could feel.

“I’m fine, just tired,” you mumbled out, trying to not let your emotions get the better of you. How could you explain to her that the reason you were crumbling once again was due to the man who broke her heart on the day of their anniversary?

The day they broke up Hyejin was enthusiastically telling you about how passionate and fulfilling that night was going to be so you spent the night at Namjoon’s again, trying to drown yourself with weed and food. The next day you found your best friend on the couch with makeup stains and the smell of alcohol oozing from her. She never really told you what went down that night but for a while your relationship with her had been strained. There were days where it was just silent. She wouldn’t face you, or even talk to you until a couple weeks passed by. The mentioning of Kim Taehyung was forbidden in the household you both shared together. That unspoken rule was what made everything okay between the two of you again.

“I’ll be back later if Namjoon cancels—”

“No,” you waved her off. “Go and enjoy your weird date with him. I just saw this stupid drama and it has me in my feelings. I’ll be fine. I’ll call Wheein later and see if she wants to get drunk together.”

“Yeah,” She said, grabbing a hold of her purse with a semi disgusted look on her face. “I definitely don’t wanna be here to see that go down like last time.”

“Have fun with Joonie! Tell that moron that I found my Nintendo 64 the other day!”

“He’s going to feel relieved that he didn’t actually break it, or misplaced it as you accused him of.” She narrowed her eyes at you and you simply glanced down at your phone, feeling attacked right now.

“To be fair it wouldn’t be the first time so leaveee me aloneee,” you whined out and Hyejin just shook her head.

“I’ll be back for dinner tomorrow so don’t go anywhere! I’m buying Chinese takeout tomorrow.”

“I’ll be here as long as you buy me food.” You dryly replied, being genuinely honest.

She smiled cutely, waving her finger at you quite adoringly in response. “Done.”

You felt like a proud mother watching her child go into her first day of school since Hyejin was enthusiastically waving at you. She was quick to tell you she loved you before she skipped out the door. A tiny smile managed to make its way on your face. You figured she’d be back in less than five minutes though since she tended to be forgetful at times. As in cue, the doorbell rang and you sighed.

“I asked you if you had your fucking keys and you—” your eyes met with the figure who was not in fact your best friend.

You almost screamed, but conformed to a whisper. “Taehyung?”

Upon seeing him, you immediately stumbled over your feet as you tried to close the door again. Taehyung’s response seemed out of reflex. His arms were already wrapping around you, catching you in seconds before your face could connect with the lovely ground. He held you protectively against his side, his eyes taking in your expression as you glanced up at him in shock.

“I see you haven’t changed one bit.” He retorteed, his voice echoing throughout the hallway corridor. You had forgotten the sound of his voice until you saw him again, and now he was standing outside of your apartment…with his arms around you.

“Hyejin isn’t here.” Your mouth automatically told him. It was always that fucking sentence. Every time he would come over Hyejin would already be at work, or out with her friends, or even going to his place. Taehyung was always at your place though, with or without her in the apartment.

He scoffed, and then began to softly laugh upon seeing your confused expression. “I’m not here for her.”

Oh. Your eyes widened at that. Oh. His arms had gotten bulkier, his frame broader and you hated that you noticed that within the seconds that he was holding you. You gained footing again and pushed yourself out of his arms, backtracking into your apartment to refrain your dumb self from saying anything stupid.

“I went over to your old apartment last night, but instead I got met with an eccentric Chinese couple.”

You snorted, biting back a venomous retort. “I’m sure you had fun being introduced to their classic rock collection, eh?”

He was watching you, taking your reaction towards him as he carefully spoke. “That and they invited me over to dinner tomorrow since I was so charming in their eyes.”

Your mouth was set on a thin line, expression impassive. “You won’t look so charming once my fist connects with your face if you don’t tell me what you’re doing here.”

Despite that threatening comment, he grinned. “You’ve always been all bark so I highly doubt you’ll do that.”

He was right on that, but the anger you had stored inside you would beg to differ in this case.

“I’m not here to fight though,” he quickly spoke, noting how you were seconds away from slamming the door on his face right now. “I’m here to say that no amount of words will ever take back what I did to you. I know what I did was unfair to you in every way and I’ll understand if you don’t want me back in your life. But let me tell you something y/n, during that time that I was gone I did a lot of self-thinking and it all led me back to you. The first thing I did once I stepped foot in this country was look for you, which is why I’m here. I’m sorry for leaving like that, for not explaining myself, and for hurting you the way I did.”

“You idiot,” you quietly uttered out before becoming more vocal once the anger seeped in. “I-I, how dare you try to prance into my life like nothing and think that an apology is going to fix everything? You were my person, Taehyung. You broke my heart once I realized that you had left and you weren’t coming back. For a year, I wondered what happened that made you leave me like that and—and—”

You felt your throat begin to burn as tears blurred your eyesight. Damn it. Hold yourself together.

“y/n...”

“You know what?” you sucked in air and blinked back the tears. “I wish you the best in life, but what you did I will never forgive you for.”

You slammed the door in his face with all the force in your body, causing the door to shake. It echoed through your apartment and you couldn’t hear him over the roaring waves of anger that clouded your senses overall. Despite you being so livid, the other part of you wanted nothing more than to open the door and let him inside once again. You knew what side could overpower the other one the moment you could clearly hear him once again.

“y/n, I’m sorry,” his voice cracked and you screwed your eyes shut, fingers curling into the palm of your hand. “Please,” he continued, twisting your heart more. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just don’t want to lose you. It was a hell of a year without having you constantly by my side.”

“Liar,” you instantly called his bluff.

You slowly approached the door, hand outstretched towards the door handle. Taehyung was outside your door, it wasn’t a dream anymore that you could wake up from. He was just a few feet away with a barrier between the two of you once again. And then your hand went limp besides your body, eyes screwing to a shut as you tried to allow your brain to do the thinking instead of your heart. Sighing, you simply leaned your forehead against the wooden floor, wanting nothing more than to have his arms around you.

Silence.

You wondered if he had given up and left.

“I’m going to wait here until you decide to open the door.” Nope, he hadn’t.

“I’ll call security.” You immediately bit out and all you heard was a quiet chuckled.

Out of gnawing curiosity, you watched through the peephole as he slid down and sat criss crossed facing your door. His phone sat next to him, faced down. He was simply gazing at your door now, not moving an inch.

“I’ll be waiting.”

You deliberately screamed at yourself to leave him there. You pried your fingers from the door handle, reprimanding yourself over being so incredibly stupid. So instead you occupied yourself with trying to clean, organize, and even fucking cook. But everywhere you went was full of memories of you and him. Despite you moving away from your old apartment, you still had the same couch where you both sat across each other, throwing popcorn, gummy bears, and m&m’s at each other’s mouths. The bed sheets where he had accidentally fallen asleep while you were running your fingers through his hair, listening to him talk about his shitty day at work. The pillows you both had initiated a pillow fight with at three am in the morning. The wine glasses of that summer night where you and he spent hours talking about everything and anything. Even now as you filled up a glass of water to pour it into the pot reminded you of how he would volunteer to help you cook.

“Here, let me just—” he leaned over you, his shirt raising above his belly button as he reached over to grab the glasses for sweet tea. Your eyes flickered over to his exposed skin and the urge to trace your fingers down his abdomen was so immensely strong that it frightened you completely. You felt heat warm up your cheeks as you decided to glance away from his glowing skin and rather turn your eyes towards him. But Taehyung’s gaze was already on you, glasses already in hand.

The proximity between the two of you was numbing to the heart and brain. He was so incredibly close, to the point where you could see the color of his irises. In that moment, your favorite color had gone from yellow to brown in seconds. He was trapping you in, body touching yours. His warmth envelope you and you swore you could count those pretty lashes on his eyes and you would not get tired of it. His eyes flickered down to your lips and you knew you weren’t breathing at this point.

“Strange,” he suddenly cleared his throat, and took a step away from you. He turned away from you and you took in a deep and necessary breath.

“What?” you uttered out, slightly ashamed. He caught you staring and was probably disgusted by you now. Even you were bemused at your sudden urge that hadn’t been there before. What the fuck was going on?

He turned to face you, seeming a bit struck himself. “I suddenly have the urge to paint.”

“Really?” you broke out into a smile, forgetting the moment all together. “Dude, that’s great!”

His awe was transparent as he warmly smiled back at you. “It really is.”

That night you realized Taehyung had begun to sneak his way into your heart. The first ever color to be tentatively painted on the canvas of your heart was the color brown.

“Can you believe Taehyung has been ignoring me for the past few days?” Hyejin began to ramble on quite angrily. “So you know what I did the other day? I went over his place and he was inside this weird room, locked inside. He came out with paint all over him and proceeded to kick me out of his apartment, claiming he was too tired and busy.”

You continued writing down your notes, trying to stay focus on your assignment.

“…something about finally getting his fucking muse and whatnot. He was telling me about his drought the other night, but I think I fell asleep on him. However, what the fuck? It’s been almost a week now and he’s not even answering my c—”

She suddenly got a phone call and you thanked your lucky stars. Judging from the disappointed look in her face, it was clearly not Taehyung. She still answered the call and finally left you alone in peace.

From: Taehyungieee

I just finished my first ever painting since two years ago

The cup of water suddenly slipped from your numb fingers and crashed all over the floor. It was a rude and uncalled awakening call for sure.

“Shit,” you said, immediately grabbing a hold of the broom to clean the mess up.

“Are you okay?”

And there he was: the rude, uncalled awakening call. It was startling you awake again, but did you really want to wake up? You’ve been asleep all this time, waiting with your broken heart at the palm of your hands. Did you really want to wake up just to have it punched, twisted, and hell bent over again?

“y/n, I need to know if you’re okay or—”

“I’m fine,” you croaked out, eyes watering. You were obviously not fine. And you weren’t going to be as long as he sat outside your fucking door. The anxiety of Hyejin coming back and seeing him suddenly struck a nerve. How would she react to him coming back after so long? You were barely hanging on right now. You even sat down beside the pile of broken glass, head leaning back against the cabinet. You ignored the pile you had amounted, waiting to be pricked by now.

As long as you were in love with him, you knew it was going to stir everything up in your life once again. You knew him coming back was something that you did not plan for. You weren’t the slightest prepared and it frightened you. The last time you were unprepared you fell deeply in love with a man who was not yours to keep.

It was past midnight when you decided to just see if he was still outside. The temptation of sliding him a plate of food was incredibly strong, but you held out. Now as you peered out the peephole you realized he was cold. He had his arms wrapped around his body and was slightly shivering. The best of part of you grabbed a hold of you and you grabbed a hold of your favorite blanket and rather quietly and slowly you opened the door. You found him resting against the edge of the door frame, sleeping. With light steps, you approached his sleeping figure before taking a seat next to him. You wrapped your blanket around him and yourself. With a poke to his cheek, you secured yourself that he was indeed passed out since he didn’t even flinch or stir. The silence welcomed you, bringing you so much peace as you quietly heard Taehyung’s breathing. It was in that moment of weakness that you momentarily allowed yourself to lean your head against his shoulder.

He was back.

Taehyung.

Your mouth was already spilling your contained secrets.

“The only reason why I’m here is because I still love you, Taehyung.” You whispered it out, your fingers tenderly brushing away the bangs from his eyes. “I don’t think I ever stopped, or will if I’m being honest.”

You figured he was dead asleep so it wouldn’t matter.

And he was sound asleep. But as you glanced up at him, gathering each and every detail from his pretty face, you realized just how much you had missed him. There were nights where you would scribble away your heart out on a piece of paper in search for him. Tears were documented on those pages and your feelings were a mesh of words that only he could bring out of you. Kim Taehyung had definitely left a wound in your heart and now here he was beside you sound asleep, quickly patching it up and healing it with just his mere presence. God, you were an absolute idiot.

You stayed there with him for who knows long until he started moving. It was then that you instantly ripped yourself away from him and stood up in time for him to flutter his eyes open. A loud ass yawn emitted from his lips and he looked disoriented before his brown eyes landed on you.

“y/n,” he rasped out, immediately sitting up once again. His legs were wrapped up in your blanket and you watched how he realized he even had it in the first place. His fingers tentatively curled around it, tugging it closer to his body.

He wasn’t looking at you as he spoke up, sounding incredibly tired. “Do you want me to leave?”

Yes. Yes, was what you meant to fucking say.

You were gazing ahead of you, not turning towards him as you replied heavily, “No.”

Taehyung was immensely surprised and shocked. You were sure he was expecting you to kick him out for good once and for all like you should, but then he softly replied, “Okay.”

“It’s cold.” You quietly told him, already beginning to walk inside your apartment again. “Come inside.”

He trudged in behind you rather quietly, hands still curled around the blanket. You led him into the kitchen, pouring him a hot cup of green tea so he could drink. Alongside stood a plate full of food that had been obviously warmed up. Whatever he was thinking though, he didn’t utter a word out. His eyes didn’t meet yours. They were too focused on the steaming mug of tea and food.

“Drink this,” you said as you passed him the mug, your eyes flickering away from his intense gaze now. “You’re more than welcome to take the couch. My bathroom is down the hall to the right if you need it. And I want you out of here before 10 in the morning the latest.”

The way you spoke was monotone, firm, and was nothing compared to the sweet, kind hearted person Taehyung knew so well.

“Noted.”

You both finally met each other’s eyes. You held his gaze, hoping that in some way all your pain, tears, and heartbreak could be transferred so he would know how you felt for so long. Maybe then he would know the damaged he had done to you inside and out. However, that did not happen. Instead you felt your gaze blur, hands beginning to tremble from just how hurt you were so inside. You glanced away, shoving past him.

You didn’t turn around to notice the way his saddened gaze followed you all the way until you trapped yourself between another set of four walls, away from him.

It was four am.

You couldn’t fall asleep.

Your bed sheets were just not lulling you to sleep at this point. You were curled up on one side of your bed, hugging your pillow into your body for comfort. You laid there, feeling so empty and with so much emotion all at once. Your brain couldn’t exactly grasp it. Taehyung was literally down the fucking hall from you. He was just a few steps away from you. A few steps from wrapping his arms around you and making you feel like home once again.

A soft but rather small smile appeared on your face. At least he was safe and healthy. He looked so much better, glowing even. You then wondered how you looked. Did you look as you felt? Did he not hurt the way you did? Probably not.You sat up, legs already swinging off your bed. You were bound to drink some medicine so it could knock you out to the point where you’d wish you’d wake up with him already gone. You were already opening the door, ready to step out when you met Taehyung already outside your door, hand curled into a fist midair.

“I—I fuck,” He sputtered out, hand falling beside his side. “I didn’t know you were awake.“

“Did you expect me to sleep soundly, Taehyung?” you genuinely prompted, the anger quickly igniting inside of you. Your voice was incredibly sweet, but dripping of venom. “Did you expect me to fall asleep so easily? Is that how you slept while you were away this time? Without a care in this fucking world? Liberated and running away like the coward you were and still are?”

Taehyung did not respond. His eyes had become watery as he barely spoke up, “I know what I did was shitty. I know what I did hurt you beyond believe. I can’t express just how much I was hurting too, okay? You think leaving was easy? You think being away from you was ever easy?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you finally spat out, causing him to flinch. “Don’t you fucking compare your pain to mine. You left without saying anything to me. You left nothing, nothing. Not even a single note, letter, or anything. And you left me wondering, stupidly worrying over you, but you obviously didn’t give a fuck. Instead you were living life in Venice ever so graciously.”

He was shaking his head to every word you were saying, disbelief written all over his features. “What do you mean, I didn’t give a fuck? Are you fucking blind, y/n? Did you honestly not know just how much you meant to me, and still do? For fucks sakes, I’m standing here, trying to apologize to you when I could be fucking other bitches, or even forgetting completely about you. So what the fuck do you mean by me not giving a fuck about you? And you’re pulling up Venice?”

His eyebrows were furrowing, trying to follow along. “You knew about me all this time? And you didn’t even try to at least contact me?””

“A friend of mine bought your painting and I recognized it the moment I saw it. And how could I after what she told me?” you bitted out, boring holes into him by now. “The world renowned artist, Kim Taehyung, an indie artist who lives in Venice. Happily living his life away with fucking bitches and enjoying his newfound wealth.” You recited the exact same thing Wheein had told you in her precise words.

She had burned the painting in front of you afterwards.

Taehyung simply scoffed and then began shaking his head in annoyance. “The Venice part is true, but in no moment did I ever touch anyone else that wasn’t you.”

“Stop,” you instantly warned him, his words becoming more of a blow that for some reason instead of consoling you it just kept adding to the flame inside your soul. “Stop saying things like that to me.”

“It’s true though,” he desperately urged out, sounding frustrated now. He ran his hands down his face, groaning as you seemed to be distancing yourself each time he opened his mouth. “Never once did I fuck anyone while I was over there. You wanna know why? Because my certain muse was waiting back home for me.”

“Fuck you!” you finally snapped, shoving him away from your entrance. “You don’t get to say shit like that when your actions prove you otherwise. Do you not see how you left me? I am here standing in front of you crying because I am a pathetic ass person who cared too much over someone who didn’t give a single fuck about me!”

His jaw ticked, seeming impassive and you fucking detested that. He never once showed an ounce of emotion and it always made you feel incredibly stupid. This time however, Taehyung finally snapped. “Don’t you fucking dare say I never gave a shit about you when I did. I showed you countless of times just how much you meant to me. For fucks sakes, I painted you so many times!”

He finally exploded, yelling back at you now. “Could you not fucking see it? How insane I was when you came into my life? You want prove?”

“No, what I want—”

“What?” He barked out and you bit the inside of your cheek, restraining yourself from physically assaulting him.

So you resonated with hurting him verbally instead. “I want you out of my life.” You decided, trying to convince yourself with that too.

“You sure you want that?” He challenged you and you were taken back by his assertiveness. It only infuriated you even more. Your fingers were curling up inside your palm, nails digging into your skin. The pain felt numbing compared to the bubbling hatred you were feeling inside. “If so, just say it straight to my face.”

Before you could control yourself, your fingers were fisting his shirt, crumpling it up as you brought him closer to you. He stumbled over, hand flying over to hold on to the doorway entry to stop himself from crushing you. You slowly gritted out with such defiance, “I. Want. You. Out. Of. My. Life.

By the time you were done uttering the last word out, your voice had begun to shake. Your fingers had loosen a hold of him and you felt utterly defenseless.

He leaned into you, getting on eye level, and lowly bit out, “And actually mean it.”

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Sev—

“Get out and never fucking come back into my life!” you exploded, yelling at him now. You were quick in releasing him and shoving him away from you. “Get out!”

He stood there, without saying a single word.

“Get out of my fucking apartment, out of my life, and out of my existence.”

“But I don’t want to,” his voice cracked and you halted, your throat feeling on fire from how hard it was to not cry in front of him. “I don’t want you to give up on me when I am standing right here, ready to give you everything and much more. I am standing here, and I am not leaving until your hatred for me goes away.”

What did he mean by that? What the hell was going on?

His hair was a mess from letting his fingers tug at it and just the sound of his broken and desperate voice was making you crumble all over again. “I don’t want to leave when it’s been a hell of a fucking year not having you around me, not seeing you smile over the dumbest of things, and not being able to hold you. It’s killing me, y/n.”

Tears were already spilling down your cheeks before you could stop them. With the sleeve of your shirt, you hastily wiped them away from your face since you were not going to let him see you cry. But he was right there, and he was back. He was back after such a long time and he was right there.

“I hate you for making me feel this way,” you sobbed out, finally breaking. Your shaking hands tugged at the strands of your hair in utter devastation. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you. I hate you so much Kim Taehyung. I hate you. I HATE YOU!”

Each word felt like a needle pricking into his heart, but seeing you break down like that? Taehyung wanted nothing but to beat the fuck out of himself as well.

“I am so sorry.” Tears were streaming down his face, he seemed at lost for words. “I am so fucking sorry.”

You both were unconsciously edging closer. As you were screaming at him how much you hated him, he was nearing you, his cries of ‘I am so sorry’ contradicting yours. His hands tentatively framed your face, foreheads pressed against each other’s as you sobbed. He was so careful in touching you. You felt his fingertips ghost your face so gently, the pad of his fingers wiping your tears away as he brokenly croaked out, “I hate myself for making you cry. I hate myself for leaving you like that, and I will continue to hate myself as long as you cry over me because I don’t deserve your tears, y/n.”

“Just—” you hiccupped, hands encasing over his. Your grip on him tightened, eyesight blurred and throat burning. “Just hold me, Taehyung.”

“Please, j-just hold me,” you sobbed out and Taehyung was wrapping his arms around you before you could finish that sentence. His hands were encasing your head, his mouth on your hair as he tried his best to mend you back into the person you were before he came into your life.

All your pain, hurt, and heartbreak had seeped into his veins. His own feelings had intensified and seeing you break down like that was enough to render him straight down on to his knees. Being in Venice was hell. He was alone and his thoughts were constantly full of you and only you. There were times where he impulsively would try and run back into your arms, but he stubbornly reminded himself that you were better off without him. Seeing you now with your face dug into the crook of his neck, fingers digging into his clothes, he realized just how fucking wrong he had been.

Your feelings were as evident as ever and he blamed fate for separating you both like that.

“I’m sorry,” he held you close to him, whispering it until it was engraved in your mind. “Please forgive me, I’m so sorry. Give me a chance, give me a chance to prove just how much you mean to me. Please, just one. And if that doesn’t work, then I’ll let you go.”

You sighed, you were too drained. You felt completely exhausted, but Taehyung was running his fingers through your hair, still apologizing to you with tears in his eyes. At one point the both of you had slid down against the wall together. His hold on you would not loosen and by now you were resting your head against his chest, his breathing luring you to sleep as each minute passed. You were sitting in between his legs, eyes fluttering to a close.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he continued, sniffling. “I never meant to hurt you, please know that. Please, please know that none of this was intentional. I—, I, lo—”

“Okay,” you mumbled out, tilting your head back against his chest to glance at him. He glanced down, lips centimeters away from yours but you didn’t falter. “One chance. One chance to prove to me that all of what you’re saying is true. Actions tend to speak louder than words, Taehyung.”

“Okay, okay,” he was quick to agree. “One chance is all I need. And I’ll prove it to you, okay? Not for me, but for you.”

You returned back to your original position. You made yourself comfortable in his arms, eyes finally closing. A soft plead left your lips, “Are you going to leave in the morning?”

“Not unless you kick me out.”

You were out like a light after that.

Hours later with the sun peeking in through the window sliding doors, you slowly stirred yourself awake. As you began to blink yourself fully awake, you realized you were no longer on the hallway floor, but on your bed. And Taehyung was beside you, hot breathing fanning the back of your neck. His arms were not only wrapped around you, curling you further into his own warmth, but his fingers had intertwined with yours as well. Never in your dreams, would you have imagined the day you’d wake up and realize you were still in Taehyung’s arms.

He didn’t leave.

He didn’t, but you needed to. It was almost noon and you knew your best friend would come barging in through that door in an hour or so. You heard him softly exhale, fingers twitching in your hold. He was waking up. You immediately closed your eyes, relaxed more into him, and evened out your breathing.

“I won’t fail you again.” He whispered out, fingers slowly pulling away from yours. You had your heart lodged in your throat, feeling him pull away. It was seconds later when you felt his fingers tracing yours, trailing up your arm, and then going back down. His touch must work wonders since you were lulled back to sleep in seconds. The second time you woke, he was gone. A note was messily written on your night stand and just as you were about to read it, Hyejin barged into your room.

“You deadass just woke up now? It’s two in the afternoon!”

You curled the note underneath your hand, your eyes zooming in on the jacket behind her. It was Taehyung’s jacket. Did he leave it behind? Will Hyejin turn around and recognize it?

“Y-Yeah,” you stammered out, screwing your eyes shut at being so damn obvious. “I- I think I smoked a little bit too much last night.”

“Well, hydrate yourself then.” She reprimanded, seeming worried now. “I’ll serve you some water, okay? Also, Joonie is out there and he brought us lunch!”

Oh fuck. Not only was she here, but Namjoon as well? You waited for her to leave your room until you uncurled the note.

‘I’m in your closet’

“Taehyung,” you gasped out and quickly ran over to your closet. You pulled the door open and saw him sitting there, playing Overwatch on his damn phone.

“I was going to wake you when I heard them, but then I heard her calling your name so I had a few seconds before I could write that and get in here,” he sheepishly admitted and you found yourself grinning like an idiot at him despite everything.

He hadn’t left.

“I can give you a five minute window for you to make it out through the door. You’re going to have to be really fucking quick.”

“Damn it, y/n.” He began to then crawl out of the closet, mumbling nonsense into the air. “Okay, but before we do all of this, can you come over to my place tonight?” He was standing down, towering over you slightly.

“That quick?” you dryly humored out and Taehyung bit down on his bottom lip.

His next sentence was what did it for you. “You said I have one chance. It’s been 393 days since we’ve last seen each other and I’m not going to waste any more time between us.”

Your gaze met his. “I’ll text you when I’m there.”

Getting him out of there wasn’t exactly easy. You gathered Namjoon and Hyejin into her room, slamming the door shut behind you. How did you even manage to get them in the same room? Well you accused Namjoon of stealing your favorite chips and went over to complain to Hyejin who was already in her room.

“I did not touch your fucking chips,” he continued to defend himself, eyes narrowing. “This is called defamation and I will sue you, you nimrod.”

“This is called defamation and I will sue you,” you openly mocked him, knowing this would grate his nerves.

“You little—”

“You see!” you extended your arm, wiggling your finger at Namjoon as Hyejin seemed utterly done with the both of you. “He called me a bitch! Tell your boyfriend to stop stealing my food and calling me degrading names.”

“I did not call you a bitch.”

“Whatever,” you waved him off.

“Did smoking too much bud suddenly shorten the two brain cells you still had left?” He retorted, his index finger tapping the side of your head. “Hellooo, I know you’re already working hard, but can you try a little bit more?”

With slit eyes you slowly began approaching him. “I will castrate you in your sleep and choke you with your own—”

“Hey, hey!” Hyejin tried cutting in between the two of you.

“You’re on your period, right? That’s why you’re acting bitchier than usual.”

“Woah, woah!” Hyejin interrupted, a scowl placed on her lips. “Did you just pull that fucking card with two women in the room?”

Namjoon sighed, seeming utterly irritated, “I forgot what happens when thing number one joins thing number two.”

“You’re on fucking time out, Kim Namjoon.”

The five minute mark had passed.

“It’s okay.” You waved at them, but they were too busy debating between the two of them now. “I just remembered I ate them last night while I was high as fuck, whoops!”

It’s not like they heard you since they had begun bickering. Namjoon was actually sitting in the corner, face against the wall as they both tried to throw their opinions at each other. Without saying anything, you tiptoed your way out of there. Now all you needed was time to get ready for what was about happen tonight.

-------

On the way to his new apartment, you wondered what would be the end of this story. Would you finally move on and leave? Would you finally be able to forget Kim Taehyung? You entered his penthouse, eyeing the place wearily as you made your way inside the low dimmed place. You then came to a slow stop once you came into view of the living room.

Paintings. You were surrounded by paintings of you.

From portraits, to abstract paintings, and even old sketches. El Museum de Amor was what it was written so intricately right on the center of his new wall. Judging by the new glamorous penthouse, you knew that it was him who wrote it. Your eyes brimmed with tears, an incredulous laugh emitting from your lips. Your trembling hand cupped your mouth in awe and utter shock. You were in utter disbelief since there was no way Taehyung had kept these hidden for so long. Each painting differed from one another, but one thing for sure was that his colors never did. He painted you with purples, pinks, blues, yellows, and a mixture of brown colors, enhancing you with the most beautiful, pastel colors.

Paintings of you doing daily, tribal things surrounded you, and you could tell they were old. Some included you with delicately made flowers surrounding you, enhancing the beauty that you never knew he saw in you. You traced the portrait, his emotions coming to life in your eyes after so long of waiting. It was as if you were seeing yourself through his eyes and all you saw was love. One thing that you noticed was how Taehyung had managed to beautifully shade in the stars in every single one of his paintings of you.

You are you’re own entity. You shine so brightly, silly.

“I not only fell in love with you,” Taehyung spoke up, coming into view now. “But I fell irrevocably in love with painting you.”

You flipped a painting over, hands still shaking.

My muse, Silly.

It reminded you of the interview Wheein had showed you and Hyejin, which then proceeded by them two burning the painting together. Watching them set it on fire, tore you completely apart. Wheein was holding the painting as Hyejin held the lighter in her hand. You felt like an outsider just awaiting for the destruction that was about to commence. Hyejin lividly poured gasoline on it, screaming at an inanimate object until the tank was completely empty. Then she set it on fire and you could see the glimmer in her eyes as she watched it crumble beneath her fingertips.

“Who is this mystery person?”

“Someone who I’ve tried to forget.”

“She must be very special then, since you know, to have the famous Vante painting her so intimately and beautifully.”

Taehyung was turned towards the screen, a saddened spark in his eyes.

“She is indeed. She was and still is my only muse and inspiration.”

“I hated you for leaving me like that,” you suddenly told him, turning to face him. He was already behind you and you were ready to step into what was Kim Taehyung as a person. But first, there were still some questions unanswered. “Hyejin told me you both broke up and then when I went to see how you were doing you had packed up your bags and left.”

He was frowning now, eyes blazed. “I went to say goodbye to you but Hyejin told me you had gone out of town.”

“Well yeah,” you frowned, finding it all weird. “I left Sunday.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I went Friday.”

“We weren’t exactly on speaking terms when you left.” You clarified, still finding everything so uncorrelated and coming to terms at the same time.

“Fuck,” he swore underneath his breath. “Did you receive what I left there for you?”

“No?”

“It was the painting you left that day. I got it back the next day, you know, after Namjoon answered your phone that night.”

It was your turn to look in disbelief, “What?”

“The night that I broke up with Hyejin I called you and Namjoon answered.”

You began shaking your head, finding everything so confusing. “But, but there was no call from you that n—”

“I called you that night to tell you that I was in love with you.”

Oh fuck.

“The reason we broke up that same night was not necessarily because I wasn’t the same person when we met, but I had fallen in love with someone else.”

Staring at all the delicate and intricate paintings, you began to feel all of your questions being answered. The timing between the two of you was just incredibly fucked up.

“And rather than leading this relationship on, I was honest with her and that’s that. I broke up with her because the thought of not being with you was suffocating me so fucking much.”

You were blinking back tears, feeling so distraught by how much shit you both had been through because of the timing and uncertain events.

“So tell me why it took us this long to get to here then?” you said, sounding so heartbroken. “Tell me why in my dreams was the only way I could get to hear you say that you loved me?”

Everything was a mess, but here you both were. Taehyung was standing here in front of you, asking for another chance and here you were ready to give it to him. You were ready to dive back into him, hoping that this time you wouldn’t end up with a heart broken into bits of pieces. You were ready to fall even more in love with him. You knew it was possible.

“I love you,” he breathed out against your mouth, hands becoming firm on your hips now. There it was, the confirmation you’ve been desperately waiting for. His whole body was pressed against yours and your mind was racing as his eyes met yours.

“I am so stupidly and blindingly in love with you. It’s you who I’ve been trying to forget, but I can’t. No matter how hard I try to forget you, to forget the way you smiled at me, how your body was made for me, and how incredibly beautiful you are inside and out. I just fucking can’t.”

I love you.

“The reason why I left? I left because I was in love with you, y/n. I was in love with someone who I didn’t deserve. Someone who I have hurt so much in the process while I was with someone who I never truly loved. And I figured disappearing from your life would be better, but I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did. I thought that doing this was going to be good for you and you’d be able to finally be happy.”

“Why?” you demanded, pushing him away from you. “Why couldn’t you have just talked to me like a normal human being instead of leaving this country and erasing yourself from my life like that? What the fuck were you thinking Taehyung?” your voice cracked, but the anger inside of you was finally dripping from your fingertips.

“Do you have any idea how it felt to be in love with someone who wasn’t mine? To watch you with my best friend wishing that it was me in your arms instead of her? And then you leaving like that? Make me happy?” you scoffed. “Taehyung I was lost for so long and it’s not fair. You don’t get to decide what’s good for me. I get to decide that and if I strongly believe that it’s you, then it’s going to be fucking you.”

“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.” He slowly breathed out, inching closer to you now. “To—” he paused, tentative hands slowly inching closer to your face.

The pad of his fingers softly graced your face, awaiting your reaction before softly whispering, “To touch you like this.”

“Then do it Tae,” you whispered it out, hands cupping his face to have him closer to you. You softly brushed your lips against his, eyes fluttering to a close. “Please.”

His eyes glanced into yours before slowly fluttering to a close. Mouth softly molded against yours, his lips being tentative at first. But as Taehyung slowly kissed you, his hands wandered down your sides, carefully beginning to touch every curve of your body. Your heart soared as your lips heaved a gentle sigh into his mouth. You hadn’t felt so much emotion being put into a kiss, but yet again this was the man you were so in love with. His lips were tender and rendering you down so quickly, making your legs turn to mush and jelly all at once. It was slow and gentle, everything you ever hoped it would be with him. And then he abruptly pulled away from you, touch and sensation leaving with him.

There was a pause between the both of you as you both struggled to get a grip of one another. Something about the air was different as fleeting glances passed between the two of you. All you could do was stare intensely back at him as you both breathed in each other’s air from the proximity. And then as Taehyung gazed into your eyes with such fervor intensity, something clicked between the two of you. Soul, heart, and passion vibrated throughout your body at the sensation of his touch because he was everywhere all at once. His fingers were already tangling themselves into your hair, tugging insistently as his mouth roughly met yours. Mouths clashed and pants began to emit from the both of you. A moan slipped past your lips at the sensation of his soft lips because it was finally happening. His cologne invaded your senses, making you even more stupid dizzy for this man.

His mouth missed yours from the excitement and his hot breath fanned against your skin as he nudged his knee between your legs, hoisting you up on his thigh, and pressing you further into him. Your skirt managed to ride up your thigh and Taehyung definitely did not miss the red, lacy thong adorning you so well.

“Much better,” he lowly breathed out against your mouth. You could feel his boxy grin against your lips and then you were kissing him again, melting and molding to his sync in just a few seconds. Soft moans emitted from you, body reacting before your already brain dead self could. You managed to wind up your arms around his neck, fingers pulling at the nape of his hair so desperately. His tongue was already slipping past, mouth sensually sucking down on your bottom lip.

Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.

Fingers left his hair and instead wandered down his chest, hastily beginning to rip his shirt apart since you needed to feel him. And Taehyung didn’t seem to mind it one bit since his lips never detached from yours as he aided you in those fleeting moments.

“Here, silly,” he mumbled it out against your lips, eyes fluttering to an open. A laugh emitted from his lips upon realizing just how utterly impatient you were in that moment.

He was just so undeniably hot. With his curly hair matted up, swollen pretty lips, white dress shirt ruffled and almost off his body, and the tone of his tan skin glowing under the dim lighting by his candles. This man was effortlessly so beautiful and he just confessed to you about being his fucking muse. You eyed his button up shirt was and hurriedly tugged it down without wasting any more time. You wanted to get to the part where he was pinning you against his mattress and fucking your insides out.

“When you left,” you began and he was nearing you again. Hands framed your face ever so delicately with his pretty adorned silver ring hands. “I wanted to go after you, but you weren’t mine to yearn for.”

“But I was,” he lowly admitted to you with earnest sincerity. He was breathing into you as his lips met yours. “Since the moment I met you, I was already yours.”

His gaze was enough to set your whole soul on fire. Hands felt all tingly, head was dizzy but not from the buzz, and all you wanted at the moment was him. In your mind all that echoed was his name, Taehyung. You felt bewitched as he nudged your nose with his, hot breath fanning your face. You felt his fingers twitch, and with one last glance you simply stood on the tip of your toes, and softly pressed your mouth against his.

You felt him smile against your mouth and that immediately made your heart blossomed. As your hands slowly began to wander up his chest, you felt a soft pink hue being gently stroked against the canvas of your heart. It was light and sincere and tentative. And as Taehyung deepened the kiss, that soft pink darkened.

All thoughts were wiped free from your mind as his lips began to trail down the side of your neck, sucking and marking to his liking. It was then Taehyung’s hands grasped the back of your thighs, swiftly lifting you up. With a knee nudged between your thighs, he backed you up against the wall, pressing himself against you. A soft gasp emitted from your lips since he was right there again, lips barely brushing yours so tentatively and slowly. Hot air fanned your face, and the way he was gazing at you made your insides quiver in delight and your poor heart stutter.

“I can feel how wet you are for me, baby,” he purred out, fingers mischievously dancing up your thigh. You were watching his teasing movements like a fucking hawk, just waiting for him to do something you already.

“y/n.”

You glanced up and Taehyung was just gazing into you so intensely, halting you.

His fingers caressed your body, slowly wandering up before encasing your face in his large, veiny, and pretty hands. With a clear and low voice, he said, “Do you want me as bad as I want you?”

You happily wrapped your arms around his neck, a dazed smiled plastered all over your face. Taehyung definitely didn’t miss that since he was kissing you all over again. Taehyung hadn’t moved a muscle though and it dawned upon you that he was waiting for confirmation once he quirked an eyebrow, eyes telling it all. You almost laughed since here you were, practically kissing the crook of his neck and eagerly waiting for him to bend you over and do his worse.

“Yes,” you spilled it into his mouth without hesitation. “Yes, yes, yes.”

“Okay.”

A moment of realization dawned upon the both of you, but you figured you’d deal with this later. Right now, what you wanted was standing right in front of you and you were bound to get it once and for all.

“Lead the way,” you breathed out against his lips.

“Okay then,” he confirmed, beginning to lead the both of you into his bedroom. One hand was placed along your back while the other was set on your ass, gently squeezing. He groaned upon feeling the lace that was barely covering you, and you could feel him harden underneath you.

With a kick to the door, he swung it open and gave you a last peck on the mouth before gently laying you down on his king sized bed. He didn’t turn on the light, but you propped yourself up, watching as he roamed around his room, fingers running through his long hair. His back was facing you and you could feel your heart accelerate since even in the dim lighting, you could still make out his broad shoulders and defined back. He had definitely changed physically.

He arched an eyebrow, a smirk making its way already. “You want me to fuck you with your clothes on, baby?”

“I preferred if you take them off.”

“Oh?” He boyishly grinned. “Is that so?”

You simply let yourself fall back against the covers, teasingly spreading your legs for him. You heard a sharp inhale, followed by a guttural moan. You were beginning to shimmy out of your shirt when suddenly Taehyung was already climbing on the bed, hovering over you. Hands firmly encased yours, pinning them above your head.

“You’re killing me,” he whispered it out against your lips, eyes slightly darker. “I’ll strip you naked, then. If that’s what my baby wants, then I’ll give it to her.”

My baby.

His hands ripped your shirt open and you gasped in surprise. Taehyung watched as your expression went from instant shock to what seemed to be a slightly frightening pissed off one in just seconds. Your hands were already beginning to shove him away, since that shirt happened to be a favorite and he just ripped it like nothing. “Dude, why?” your eyes had turned to slits and Taehyung knew he had fucked up.

So naturally, he quickly began to spill out, “I’m sorry, fuck. I’ll buy you another one, shit, I’ll buy you whatever the hell you want tomorrow, okay? My wallet is yours.”

Your pissed expression suddenly wavered into a tiny pout and he knew he was in the clear now. “Okay,” you slowly relented, rolling your eyes. “You’re definitely buying me this exact same shirt.”

“Deal.”

“Okay now undress me,” you whined out suddenly and he definitely had no problem in complying with that. You watched as Taehyung practically moaned at the sight of you in just a maroon coated corset. He didn’t even need to take off your skirt to notice the matching set, nor the garters that complimented you so fucking well.

The corset tied around your body, almost like a present to him.

“My little present, huh? Can I unwrap you now?”

“Please,” you impatiently whined out.

He bent down where the end of the red silky string ended. With his teeth, he grazed your skin as he teasingly dragged it down, slowly unraveling you to him with such ease. You could feel his hot breath fan against your skin. He stopped suddenly, his gaze just wandering your body from head to toe in such awe. His attention to detail was definitely there since his artistic eyes were just brushing and tentatively painting your body with his gaze alone. It was when your hands were coming around to cover yourself when he snapped out of his stupor.

“Nope,” he kissed you, pinning your hands away from your body. “My art.”

“I—” you began, stunned.

“So beautiful,” his lips were kissing your thoughts away. And then they were marking away down the base of your throat, licking down on your collarbones, and then his lips immediately went to your nipple, tongue swirling momentarily around it. You squeezed your thighs, trying to find some kind of release as he puckered his lips and sucked. He was definitely enjoying himself since you found him humming along to whatever song was playing. Your brain was muffled by the sensation of his lips to recognize the song he was so keen on singing along to.

“So pretty,” he languidly purred out, a teasing grin laced on his pretty face. He was watching you, tongue swirling around your bud as you both gazed into each other’s eyes. You softly moaned, hands desperately beginning to search for his body. You just wanted to hold him, to feel him against your body, and to feel his lips grace yours so hotly and animalistic simply because you craved for him.

You’ve been yearning for him for so long that all you wanted was to feel him move inside of you.

“Taehyung, I need you to fuck me already,” you heaved out, your impatience getting the better of you.

However, Taehyung was quick to hover over you, pinning your arms against the bed as his lips grazed yours. He was dizzying you again, causing your head to spin from the proximity. “I am appreciating my art. So you’re going to wait until I am fucking done, understand?”

You thickly swallowed, nodding. He didn’t take that as an answer though. “I didn’t hear you, love.”

“Yes,” you whimpered out and Taehyung’s grin just made your thighs a dripping mess.

He was already in between your legs again, tongue lapping up every single drop. Hands were firmly splayed against your hips, keeping you still as his puckered lips sucked on your clit without pausing. Oh, oh my fucking god. Taehyung was quick to catch on your mannerisms, figuring out the way your body worked with such ease simply because he already knew you inside and out. Watching as you propped yourself on your elbows, mouth opening and closing frantically. These loud ass moans could rival a pornstar and Taehyung couldn’t breathe just from how hard his dick was.

“Oh God,” you softly gasped out, your body jerking slightly at the movement of his fingers. Slick covered your ass and thighs as Taehyung pumped in two digits inside of you. He curled them inside of you and you knew his hands were more than capable of making you cum with such ease. You loved his hands and watching his fingers disappear inside of you so harshly, as if you were being used to his liking excited you more than you could think of.

“Oh fuck!” you choked out, fingers fisting the sheets beneath you. “Tae, I’m so close, so close, soclosesoclose.” You screwed your eyes shut, crying out as he replaced his fingers with his tongue. With a few strokes and a mild slap to your cunt, you jerked forward and came without a warning.

Oh fuck, so this is what you’ve been missing. Your breathing was in pants, legs shaking, and head spinning. Taehyung definitely knew what the fuck he was doing. And that fucker just laughed, hands massaging your thighs.

“You done for the night?” he teased you, boxy smile growing. “Wanna take a shower and go to bed, Grandma?”

“Fuck you,” you laughed as you managed to sit up. Your body was practically yearning for more at this rate. You just didn’t want to boost his goddamn ego. He was good, great even if he could make you see stars with just his hands and mouth. You wondered if you would pass out if he fucked you now.

“That’s the plan, baby,” he cheekily replied, winking at you even. You didn’t know what to do besides smacking your hand on his forehead and trying to push him away from between your legs.

“Oh no, no.” He tilted his head to make your hand slip down his face instead. He bit your palm and rasped out, “I gotta clean all of my mess first.”

With his hand, he motioned for you to lay down and you did as you were told.

“Tae,” you tugged at his hair, trying to get him on top of you instead, but Taehyung was busy kitty licking you clean, softly singing, “If you want it, you can have it.”

His mouth hovered over your sensitive bud, slightly nudging it with his tongue. You dug your heels into his bed, getting worked up all over again. Then he proceeded to challenge you, “You think I can make you cum again, baby?”

“Uh huh,” you nodded without thinking, chest beginning to raise and fall. His grin was wicked, yet charming. His mouth though kept slurping away the mess he had made out of you. He hummed against your hole and your legs quivered at the sensation.

“Tae, please,” you began, pushing him away with your hands.

He raised an eyebrow, tongue sweeping his bottom lip. “Yeah?”

“I want you to fuck me already, goddamn it.” You exasperatedly told him.

“I think, I’ll fuck you with these on,” he smirked, fingers hooking underneath your red garter. Just the sensation of his fingers on your skin, ignited the anticipation inside of you.

Do whatever you please, just fuck me already.

His hands were already unbuckling his belt, whipping out before throwing it behind him. His gaze alone made you swallow thickly since the way he just looked at you told you what he was planning to do to you. Once his pants and underwear were gone, you were already meeting him on the edge of his bed, hands sliding up his arms. You stood before him, smiling so widely.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” you sincerely uttered it out, finding yourself breathless once meeting his eyes.

He caressed your cheek, arm winding around your body to pull you flush against him. “If I could capture the essence of how beautiful you are, I wouldn’t share it to the world. Call me selfish for wanting you all for myself, but it took us three years to get here where I can finally call you mine.”

He was lifting you up once again, gently placing you down on his mattress. You could feel his cock press against your stomach and you simply welcomed him between your legs so naturally.

“You sure?” He asked once again, trying to reaffirm himself in a sense.

“Make me yours,” you said without hesitation, games and teasing falling off the table now. Your heart, mind, and body were in unison as you kissed him immediately to reassure him that it was okay.

As your mouth deliciously met his, he slowly slid into you. He swallowed your moan in his mouth, hips bottoming down against your body. A grunt emitted from his mouth as you squeezed around him, starting to milk his cock. His hands had gotten busy with your hair, fingers tangling themselves as he slowly began to push himself into you. All you could do was muffle your moans by biting down on his shoulder, nails digging into his side. He was in between your legs, hips sensually moving against your body. Finally. You could feel his cock move against you and your toes were curling at the sensation of having him finally fuck you dizzy like you always wanted. Your mind was whirling and your body sighed in contentment. His weight on top of yours, his hands roaming down your body, and the feeling of his soft pants emitting on to your lips was just too much. Taehyung was praying nonsense into air, he too was getting senseless and lost inside of you.

“Oh god,” you whimpered out softly, hot pants heavily emitting from your lips. His cock pulsed against your tight hole, driving shameless whimpers from you over and over until he was the only thing engraved in your mind.

His big hands were splayed against your thigh, fingertips slowly dragging down your skin, squeezing and marking to his liking. His mouth ghosted across your neck, sucking and grazing his teeth between your breasts.

“Yes, yes, fuck,” you moaned out, practically shivering against him. He was a quiet lover, except for an occasional grunt and soft moans that vibrated against your warm skin.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned out, his hips grinding against yours. He was gripping on to your thigh, fingers tugging at your garter so harshly that it started to slide down.

“I—Ah, ngh, Taehyung,” you were practically mewling. And Taehyung was relentless as he kissed you suddenly to swallow the whimpers emitting from your lips because he felt he was going to cum at the sounds you were making just for him.

“You’re so loud for me baby,” he cooed out, shamelessly praising you. “My baby is so responsive for me, so fucking hot.”

“Mhm,” you ate it all up, hands greedily marking his back as he slammed inside of you. His hips were rolling down, practically grinding against your pubic bone.

“Paint your pretty body with my hands,” he hotly sucked the tip of your earlobe, earning a sharp inhale from you as your response. “With my lips,” he continued, his lips softly ghosting your skin. “mark you and brand you with my name written all over you skin.”

“Yes, yes, do whatever you want,” you whimpered out, legs beginning to tremble.

He suddenly cupped you’re face rather firmly, momentarily slowing down his movements. As he slowly panted out each word, he rolled his hips, hitting your sensitive spot over and over again. “You’re mine, you hear me? No one can touch you but me.”

Done.

“I’m yours,” you shameless repeated it to him, eating up everything that was leaving his pretty mouth. “Ah, I, ah always been.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” you instantly moaned out. Taehyung’s fingers were tracing your lips, watching as he fucked you silly and you responded to his demands so easily.

“Suck,” he demanded, and you happily obliged. With puckered lips, you swirled your tongue around his finger before sucking briefly.

“I know my baby can take more,” he cooed out, slowly deep throating his fingers down your throat. You gagged around his long, slender fingers, soon hollowing out your cheeks to fully take them in rather happily. He was quick in sliding them in and out, letting you do all the dirty work. And you happily obliged to his bidding, coating his pretty and delicate fingers with your saliva.

“Such a pretty, messy baby,” he groaned out at the sight of you. He removed his fingers from your mouth and with his pretty tongue, he licked and sucked to your echoing moans.

He used your headrest as leverage, hips grinding against yours as low, guttural moans left his pink lips. His eyes were screwed shut and you clenched so deliciously around him that he let out a small ‘oh fuckohfuckohfuck’ in return.

“I’m so close,” you cried out, legs wrapping around his waist. Your heels were digging into his skin, fingers pressing into every curve of his body. He moved your body against the bed, chest pressed against yours, hands beginning to intertwine with yours. Foreheads were pressed against each other’s and you both were breathing in the same heated, desperate for release of air into each other’s mouths.

“Yeah?” He panted out against your mouth, hips stuttering as you felt your body jerk. “Is my baby close?”

“Mhm,” you whimpered out again, back beginning to arch off the bed. Your heels were digging into his ass and tears began to prick your eyes from the intensity.

“Taehyung,” you cried out, eyes squeezing to a close. Legs had begun to tremble, toes were curling, and then your body stuttered and all you could feel was a hot blazing white overwhelming you.

Taehyung came with your name in his mouth and lips desperately finding yours. Your fingers instantly lost themselves into his hair, body melting and molding with his. He was still in between your legs, arms encasing you whole. His arms slid beneath yours, hands still tugging at your hair as you breathlessly continued to kiss him.

“I am so love with you, you know?” he suddenly sprung up on you, voice laced with so much emotion. His voice was breathy, and low.

You simply gazed at him, happiness overwhelming you wholeheartedly.

“Taehyung, I am so in love with you,” you softly told him, your fingers tenderly caressing his face. “Since the moment you walked into my life, I have been in love with you.”

As he gazed at you with stars in his eyes, you remembered what he had told you the first day you had met him. How he had contradicted your viewing of how the stars seemed like background. In a sense, you felt as if you were the stars, sometimes covered by clouds, dying with time, and overlooked because you were always there. And then he came into your life and showed you that the stars were magnificently beautiful in every way.

“Have you ever considered that the stars alone don’t need the sun and the moon? They are their own separate entity. They shine brightly with, or without them.”

“I love you, silly.” He softly reminded you once again, nose nudging yours so sweetly.

You brought him down towards you, kissing him as you confessed into his lips, “And I love you.”

It was during the time where the sun started peeking in through his blinds that you laid wide awake. Taehyung was sound asleep, arms around your body, lips on the crook of his neck, and you could feel his even breathing on your skin. His hair was all matted up from running your fingers through it and you were so fucking happy. A variety of colors painted your heart and you couldn’t wait until you got to see the masterpiece he had created inside of you. There was one thing standing in the way though, something that wasn’t exactly letting you fall asleep in his arms. You wondered if your best friend would set on fire that masterpiece that you called your heart once she found out you were with Taehyung.

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h0tch-r0cket · 3 years

Text

Infatuation (18+) {a.h.} : chapter 8

summary: you needed a job. aaron hotchner needed a babysitter. the rest was inevitable.

word count: 4.9K

warnings: explicit language, building tension, drinking alcohol

table of contents

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"Hey Esmé? Are you up? I really need you right now," you called out through her bedroom door. You shifted your weight on the balls of your feet, knocking on her door.

Aaron had just dropped you off at your apartment, leaving you stunned at the fact that the two of you almost kissed in his car. You had to talk to someone about it otherwise you were certain you would have spontaneously combusted on the spot. You threw your head in your hands in frustration and let out a frustrated groan as you knocked on her door, this time a little bit harder than the first.

"Esmé, please." Artemis was at your heels and she barked at the door, as if she was trying to help you out and get Esmé's attention.

Aggravated mumbling from behind the door grabbed your attention as you heard Esmé shuffling her feet on the floor. When it opened, she was rubbing her eye with one hand and waving her finger around at you with the other.

"I swear to God, Y/N, this better be life or death because I am exhausted. I had some guy puke on me at the ER on my shift and I'm not in the mood to deal with-"

"He tried to kiss me in his car after his lecture," you blurted out to interrupt her rambling.

She stopped rubbing her eyes, looking at you with the one uncovered eye extremely wide. "I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?" She took a step closer to you, still keeping her one hand on top of her eye.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. "Aaron. He tried to kiss me today after the lecture."

Esmé quickly grabbed onto your hand and dragged you into her room, making you sit down on her bed. She stood in front of you and was pacing back and forth, her face contorted in disbelief and confusion.

"Aaron...tried...to...kiss...you," she said slowly as if she was taking a moment to process what you just told her.

"Yes, Esmé. It was after his lecture before he dropped me off here." Esmé continued to pace in front of you, holding her chin in her hand.

"Aaron tried to kiss you," she said faster.

"Esmé. I know. Focus here, please. I literally don't know what the fuck to do with myself right now," you said, a hint of annoyance in your voice. You knew that it was a lot to take in and quite frankly, you were still reeling from the moment yourself.

"How the fuck did that even happen?" Esmé asked as she finally gave you her undivided attention.

"It just sort of came out of the blue," you told her. "Well, maybe not that out of the blue the more that I think about it."

"Why's that?"

"He said some things during the lecture and I am pretty positive that they were supposed to be directed at me. Or I guess how he feels about me," you explained. Esmé squatted down in front of you, resting her hands on your thighs.

"What the hell did he say in the lecture?"

You briefly told Esmé about how he kept looking at you during that one specific part of the lecture, how Zeus didn't care about what people thought and that he just wanted to be with the woman he loved.

"He said that in front of everybody?" she asked, her eyes widening in shock.

"Yeah, E. That's why I'm trying not to read too much into it because it was a lecture after all. But it just felt so real."

Esmé let out a small laugh and stood up. "Y/N, I told you this man was smitten. Look at him! He almost kissed you in his car. Jesus fucking Christ. It's like he got smacked upside the head and is finally growing a set to not just tell you how he feels but to show you how he feels."

"I'm trying not to get my hopes up," you said quietly, the lingering uncertainty rattling around in your head.

Esmé looked down at you and furrowed her brows. "Wait. You said tried to kiss you? How do you try to kiss someone and not actually kiss them? I mean it's not that hard. You just have to-"

"Esmé," you said, cutting her off from her impending rant again as you heard the excited yet confused tone in her voice. "He got a call from Jack's school so he had to take it."

Esmé flopped down on the bed next to you on her back and stared up at the ceiling. "So you're telling me that it literally was like a scene out of a fucking movie? Oh my god, Y/N," she said excitedly as she held her face in her hands.

You shrugged your shoulders, twiddling your fingers in your lap. "I guess it was kind of cliché. But, God, E, when I tell you I felt like the world was completely stopped around us when he was moving his head closer to me," you said, exhaling deeply.

Esmé propped herself up on her elbows and a smirk grew on her face. "How about next time you see him, you just go for the gusto. Fucking grab him by the collar or something and just go for it."

You laughed at Esmé's so-called advice, rolling your eyes.

"I mean come on. He clearly has a thing for you already and you sure as hell do too, so might as well reassure his thoughts and feelings by sealing the deal and finish what you started in his car," she continued. She sat up on the edge of her bed next to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "And you know just for your sanity, and mine," she muttered as she spoke. Esmé grabbed onto your chin and turned your head to look at her. "Turn your fucking phone off," she said, sending you a death glare as she still held on to your face.

"Noted," you said, laughing lightly as she poked you on your nose, letting go of your face. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you grabbed it quickly, hoping it was the person you needed to hear from the most.

Aaron Hotchner

-Hey, Y/N. Just wanted to let you know that I am keeping Jack home from school tomorrow. Don't worry about coming here to watch him. I took off for the day to make sure he's doing alright.

-And thanks again for coming to my lecture. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

-Tell Jack I hope that he feels better soon!

"Oh my god, did he ask you out yet? Was that what that message was?" Esmé asked excitedly.

You shook your head no and put your phone away. "Jack is sick so I'm not going over there tomorrow."

"Well that's not the worst thing in the world. Now you have an extra day to figure things out." She paused, giving your leg a reassuring squeeze. "And now I have the next day to help you come up with a plan to seduce Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome."

"I don't think that will be necessary," you laughed lightly, not wanting Esmé to meddle in whatever was going on with Aaron.

"Me making the plan? Yeah, probably not. But you definitely have to get into his pants," she encouraged. "Don't let this one get away from you."

"I'm not planning on it."

-----

Your days off flew by and before you knew it, you were back to your daily routine of watching the young Hotchner.

"How are you feeling, buddy?" you asked Jack as he wrapped his arms around your legs when you picked him up from the bus stop.

"A lot better. I slept a lot yesterday and the day before. I missed school though," he said as he looked up at you from around your waist. "But it's okay. Ms. Kingston told me not to worry about my work or anything." He let go of you and you began to walk towards the Hotchner home.

Your usual game of pebble kicking commenced as Jack told you about his school day.

"Hey Y/N?" he asked as he hopped up the stairs to the porch.

"Yeah, Jack?"

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at you as you grabbed the key to the house from your pocket. "I missed you while I was sick."

You smiled, ruffling his hair. "I missed you, too." You unlocked the door and headed inside, being greeted by the German Shepherd who was eagerly anticipating someone coming home to be with him.

Jack gave Buster his usual scratches behind the ear before going to do his homework at the kitchen table.

You settled down on the couch, still trying to figure out how exactly you were going to bring up the whole almost kiss incident later on with Aaron later on when he got home from work.

It was all you thought about the past two days, keeping you up at night. With Esmé practically interrogating you every time she saw you, you were growing more anxious to talk to him. You worried that there was a lapse of judgement. That he was just caught up in the moment.

But you hoped that wasn't the case.

You hoped that that was his overall intention. That he did want to kiss you. That the words he spoke during his lecture, although they were about the myth, that they applied to the situation that the two of you currently found yourselves in. The words seemed too real, too thought out to only be about the way that the story went. And the fact that his mannerisms in the lecture changed when he was talking about the desire to be with someone and that he didn't care what others thought. He went from glancing around the room and pacing in front of all of his students to stopping dead in his tracks and looking at you.

You could vividly remember how his eyes were searching yours in the lecture hall, as if he was hinting that it all was about you. That it always had been about you.

As you sat on the couch and tried to process everything and think of what you were going to say to Aaron, you were interrupted by the young Hotchner plopping down on the couch next to you.

"Y/N, I'm hungry," he said as he twiddled with his fingers.

"What are you in the mood for?" You turned your attention towards the boy as you propped up your elbow on the back of the couch.

"Can we make pizza together?" he asked softly.

"Make pizza?" You were shocked at his request, not expecting him to want to make his own dinner.

"Yeah. It would be fun and delicious." He smiled softly at you, and you knew he was going to win. That kid was slowly leaving a lasting impression on you, one that you never expected. You truly cared about him the more you spent time with him and you wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

You glanced at your watch quickly to get a gauge on the time. "We probably won't have enough time to make our own sauce but we can buy it from your favorite pizza place and still make everything else like the dough. Does that sound good to you, buddy?"

"Yeah!" he hollered in excitement. You gave him a quick high five, an agreement on the plan for the night.

"Give me a few minutes to check to see what Dad has in the kitchen for the dough and toppings and then we'll head out to the store for everything else," you told Jack as you got up from the couch.

"Thanks, Y/N!"

"Of course, Jack."

————

After your successful shopping trip to the grocery store and the pizza place, you and Jack were back home prepping the kitchen for your pizza making night.

"Alright, Jack. Ready to start?" you asked, looking at the ingredients scattered on the counter.

Jack nodded in excitement from across the counter and eagerly awaited your instructions.

You helped him measure out everything for the dough and had him start to mix it together while you grated the fresh block of mozzarella cheese to use for your pizzas. And of course, according to Jack, no pizza night would have been complete without pepperoni for the topping so you were going to cut that up as well.

"Okay, Y/N. The dough is all done," Jack said as he wiped his hands off above the counter. He looked adorable as ever, his shirt lightly coated in a bit of flour and a couple little white spots of flour on his face.

"Nice work, Jack," you said as you put down the cheese, figuring you grated enough. You passed Jack a sliver of the pepperoni, taking one for yourself. "Always fun to snack while you're cooking."

He nodded, leaning across the counter awaiting your next instruction. You cleared the countertop of everything besides the bowl of dough by Jack.

"Step one," you said dramatically, trying to get Jack even more excited, "is to put some flour on the counter." You took a pinch of the flour in between your fingers and sprinkled it onto the counter where the two of you were going to work. Jack followed your lead and sprinkled some flour on the counter too.

"Why are we doing this?" he asked curiously.

"It's so the dough doesn't get too sticky on the counter." He let out a small oh as you grabbed the bowl of dough in front of him. "Are we doing little pizzas for everyone or one big one to share?"

Jack tapped his finger on his chin, taking an ample amount of time to think about his decision as if the world depended upon it. "Little ones," he decided.

"Alright, well in that case we have to split the dough evenly." You grabbed the nearby knife and cut the dough into 3 equal parts, one for you, Jack, and Aaron.

"Now what?" Jack asked.

"We have to knead the dough," you explained as you placed one of the sections of dough on the counter where you had sprinkled the flour. You rolled the dough around for a second to coat it in the flour and watched as Jack stared at you, mesmerized at what you were doing.

You rolled the dough on the counter, working to get the air bubbles out of the dough. You kneaded it for a few minutes until you heard the familiar car alarm chirp in the driveway.

"Dad's home?" Jack asked, clearly not expecting his father to be home so soon.

You glanced at the time to see that Aaron was home about two hours earlier than you had anticipated. "I guess so," you said as you heard the front door open.

You continued to work the dough as Aaron came into the kitchen.

"Wow, what's going on here?" he asked as he leaned against the entrance of the kitchen.

"Making pizza," Jack said simply.

"Mhm," Aaron hummed. "Who's idea was that?"

"It was mine," the young Hotchner admitted happily. "I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom."

"Make sure you wash your hands good if you're going to be making this pizza," Aaron called out as Jack ran down the hallway.

You chuckled lightly at Jack's unnecessary announcement as you continued to roll the dough around on the counter. You glanced over to see Aaron watching you work the dough. He furrowed his brows as you worked, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

"Can I help you?" you teased, clearly catching him watching you.

Aaron let out a light laugh, coming over to where you and Jack had been cooking. "Nothing, I just—" He paused and clicked his tongue. "It's nothing."

You brushed a strand of hair off your forehead with the back of your hand and looked at him, wondering what he was talking about. "No, what was it?" you asked.

"You're doing too much to the dough," he told you, raising his eyebrows as his way of pointing towards it.

You scoffed playfully, feigning a hurt expression at his comment. "Well, Mr. Chef Boyardee, how should we be kneading the dough then?"

Aaron rolled up the sleeves on his dress shirt and you watched as he came around the counter.

You definitely weren't expecting what was coming next.

Aaron stood behind you, pressing his front against your back as he wrapped his arms around your body, his forearms boxing yours in. He placed his hands on top of yours, starting to guide your hands in rolling the dough. His hands covered yours completely, manipulating their movements to continue to knead the dough. He moved his head next to yours, keeping a watchful eye on the workspace in front of you. You felt the warmth radiating off his body as he continued to stand behind you.

"You don't have to work it so much," he whispered into your ear. You shivered at the closeness, trying not to lose your composure as Aaron continued to move your hands, now in a more circular motion to work on getting the dough to be the right shape and to have a bit of a crust.

"The less you keep kneading it, the better," he continued. You leaned back against him, falling into a state of intoxication because of the whole incident that was unraveling.

You couldn't form any coherent words. Or any other thought than the fact that you wanted Aaron to take you right then and there on the countertop. It took all your willpower not to moan in the moment, even though you felt at any moment one would slip past your lips.

Aaron could feel the way your body tensed when he first came up behind you. He thought that maybe you felt uncomfortable in the situation. But then as your body relaxed underneath his touch, he figured you were enjoying the moment just as much as he was.

He didn't want to ever let you go. The feeling of your body pressed against his was permanently engraved in his mind.

He wanted more.

He was tired of running around his feelings. He was determined to talk to you about everything.

"Aaron," you muttered out, practically breathless as he stayed behind you even though the pizza dough had long been stagnant on the counter. Now, it was only the two of you pressed against each other, both of your hands locked together on top of one another on the counter.

"Hm?" he hummed as he leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

"We need to talk later," you said, feeling overwhelmed by the closeness of him. You knew that you had to talk to him about the events of the past few days and if you didn't stop him now, you wouldn't have been able to help yourself.

"Whatever you want," he muttered as he pressed another kiss underneath your earlobe.

As much as you didn't want him to, Aaron let go of you and you could still feel the way he was pressed up against you. You could subtly make out the mildly toned muscles that were hidden underneath his dress shirt and you imagined what they looked like, how they would have felt underneath your fingertips.

You tried to shake the thoughts from your head but to no avail.

You stood there practically frozen as Jack skipped back into the kitchen. "Okay! I think I can make my pizza now. I think I'm going to be an expert," he asserted.

"I'm sure you are, buddy," Aaron said as he washed his hands in the sink.

"Alright Jack. Let's get going," you told him, feeling your cheeks blush thinking about what just happened.

You were truly in deep shit and there was no going back.

————

"Can we play a game now?" Jack pleaded as the three of you just got done eating the pizzas.

"Go pick one out," Aaron said as he wiped his mouth off with his napkin.

Jack ran up to his room, leaving you and Aaron alone. Again.

He cleared his throat as he took a sip of his wine. He placed the glass down in front of you and clasped his hands together, his honey eyes glancing at you. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

You took a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for the impending conversation. "Well to start, I guess, I want to ask you something."

"Anything."

"Now this may be my brain just over analyzing but in, uh, light of recent events we'll say," you started, trying to phrase everything the best you could, "the day at your lecture. I know you were talking about the myth of Zeus and Io. But I just... the words seemed to be saying more than just that. Am I overthinking or was there actually something behind all of that?"

"You'd be right about that," he said bluntly as he took another sip of his wine. "It wasn't just about the myth."

You felt your cheeks blush again as he looked at you. "So you actually meant it?"

"You're a smart girl, Y/N. I figured you'd pick up on it," he said with a smirk.

"And in the car when we were about to kiss—"

"Interruptions are never fun," he interjected. "Like I said that day, Y/N, you're such an amazing person. And if my actions haven't been clear about that and the way I feel about everything, then what can I do to make it clearer?"

Your eyes widened, realizing what he just told you. You figured that some part of him had some sort of feelings for you but to hear it from him was a whole different sense of euphoria.

"I don't want to force you into anything that you don't want," he added. "I know that there are a lot of things about all of this that could be a bit taboo to some people."

You nodded your head, taking a sip of your own wine. "What makes you think that this isn't something that I want?" you asked curiously.

The footsteps of Jack returned and Aaron raised his brow as a way to tell you to stop the conversation for the time being. Later, he mouthed to you as he got up from the dinner table and grabbed your empty plate from in front of you.

"I haven't played this game in forever," Jack said dramatically as he rattled the box in his hands.

"What is it?" you asked as you got up from the table to see what he had.

He held the box out in front of you and you felt your heart race. Of course, it was just the thing that you needed right now to add to the tension that was clearly building between you and Aaron all night.

"Twister!" he hollered.

Jesus fucking Christ, you thought to yourself.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to figure out a way out of playing. You couldn't see it actually helping the current situation in which you found yourself. If anything, you knew that it would make you want to have Aaron absolutely destroy you into oblivion.

"Jack, buddy. I, uh, don't think that this is such a good idea after eating such a big dinner," you told him, trying to think of anything to get out of playing the game. "You don't want to get sick."

"I'll be fine! Come on, Y/N," Jack practically whined.

"Yeah, come on Y/N," Aaron said smugly as he came up from behind you. "It'll be fun to say the least." He placed his hand on the small of your back as he guided you into the living room. Jack ran around in front of the two of you, quickly laying out the mat for the game on the floor.

You whipped your head around towards Aaron, your eyes wide. "What kind of sick joke is this?" you whispered at him.

He shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets as he smirked. "I had nothing to do with this. But," he whispered as he moved his lips closer to your ear so that Jack wouldn't hear what he was about to say. "I'm sure it won't be the last time the two of us get tangled up together."

"Cheeky bastard," you said back to him, feeling his words go straight to your core.

"Come on guys! I'll go first," Jack said as he spun the dial. "Left hand green." He smacked his hand onto the green dot closest to him and was waiting for you or Aaron to make the next move.

"Let the games begin," Aaron said loudly, making sure to steal a glance at you as the smirk grew on his face.

It wasn't long before the three of you were all twisted and tangled on the game mat. You were positive that you were mere moments away from falling over but you were determined to hold on, if only for a bit longer.

Aaron was thankful for his son for being his unintentional wingman. The game allowed him to be close to you with absolutely no remorse in his body. Especially the few times your ass had rubbed against his groin area. He clenched his jaw each time it happened, trying to not let it affect him. Or at least not that much.

He couldn't even remember how you got tangled up with him on the mat, your limbs crossing here and there with your fronts facing each other.

He was surprised to see how you were twisting and bending your body and could only think about how you would be in bed when he was relentlessly fuc—

"Right hand green," you announced as the spinner for the game came to a halt. "Oh no," you groaned as you soon realized how far away you were from the green spot.

"Don't think you can do it?" Jack teased as he peeked over at you and looked at your current situation.

"No, no. I got this," you told him. You stretched out your arm, reaching over Aaron's crossed legs as you planted your hand firmly on the green dot. "See? Told you."

"Dad, your turn!"

Aaron muttered under his breath, something about being too old for this game as he reached over and spun the spinner. "Left foot yellow?" Aaron peered down at his feet to see that his foot was already there. "Well would you look at that."

"You have to move it," Jack told his father.

"What? No, I don't," Aaron said, determined to keep his foot in place.

"Jack is right. Your foot was already there but you have to try to move it to a different yellow spot," you told him as you glanced at him over your shoulder.

Aaron rolled his eyes and begrudgingly moved his foot to the nearest yellow spot, which looped his body underneath yours.

"Right foot red for me," Jack said as he stretched out his leg to reach it. His foot just made it as it looked like he was in the position that runners were in when they were starting the race.

You flicked the spinner and watched it go until it slowed down, landing on a spot. "Right foot blue," you said. You stretched out your leg, going over Aaron's waist to get to the blue spot. "And that is how it's done," you said cockily.

A mere moment later, your knee buckled underneath you, as it gave out from tiredness underneath you. You quickly fell to the ground, taking Aaron down with you. You landed on his lap, a small huff of air leaving him from the impact.

"Are you okay?" you asked him as you tried to hold in your laughter.

He nodded, trying not to wince from the sudden weight that was dropped onto his groin area.

Aaron was, in fact, more than okay. Sure, the initial fall from you hurt like a bitch but as the two of you sat there for a moment, taking in what just happened, he really didn't mind.

"I win!" Jack yelled in victory.

"That you did," you agreed. You shuddered quickly as Aaron's hands found your waist, splaying them across it. It became all too noticeable to you now that you were practically straddling Aaron's lap right there on the Twister mat.

"You okay?" he asked you as his face softened in concern. You felt his thumbs run gentle circles on your hips as he awaited your answer.

"I'm fine," you assured, brushing the loose strands of hair off of his forehead with your fingers. "I fell on you. Are you okay?"

Aaron nodded his head, a small smile turning up on his lips.

"I think I'm more okay than I have been in a while."

-----

author's note:

i have literally had this chapter planned out and the idea in my head before i even any idea as to where this story was going and i am so excited that it's finally out there!

i hope you all enjoyed it! as always, thank you for your continued support <3

see you next chapter!

-jordyn

#aaronhotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfic #hotch #hotch x you #hotch x y/n

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ddianenguyen · 3 years

Text

Mother relationships are intrinsically the same. It matters not the language, the culture, nor the country. They're seen through the same lenses, born from the same connection. It comes from the womb, therefore, it ravels inside us. It picks us apart, it swallows us whole and it spits us out in a mess of limbs, blood, and pain.

It is not the nine months of enduring and dreamt tenderness that scar us for life, but the cruel words when outside the body. The everlasting doubt of how a mother figure, so benign, so divine, can be so utterly atrocious to its own flesh. On a regular Wednesday night, I meet my mom in the kitchen. I meant only to brew a late night cup of coffee, not to be tangled in a conversation. Mistaking my presence for an invitation, she asks me about my sister; if it's true she now has ink across her arm. I know what's coming – the judgment, the disbelief, the religious morale imprinted on the speech forming within my silence – so I barely answer. Yeah, yeah, she did. I mumble only, but my whisper is a victorious cry for your army of rocks. It is an appeal to gather your troops and open fire. It takes you no longer than half a second to start. In a single breath you commence with a rant, and you go on about regrets, and ugliness, and the desecration of the holy body. It is my older sister you're talking about, your firstborn. I mumble again and I focus on my coffee, trying to drown the sound of your hateful words with the whirling of the machine. But you are thunder, and it is a storm. You tell me about how none of your siblings have inked themselves – I correct you absentmindedly, your youngest sister now has a tattoo. It is her son's favorite lyrics. I don't add up that detail, as you cut me in half before I can even think of it. I grab my mug and you go on. About gods and anguish and shame. The sleeves of my pajamas cover two arms in ink. Yes, mother, I have deflowered myself in many occasions, and I'm afraid they weren't half as meaningful. I hear you say again the word regret and I wonder if you feel the weight it sets on my shoulder, whenever I remember how this is your favorite word to say. How you regret not having attended school. How you regret not having stood up to my grandmother. How you regret never having had boys. How you ended up with not one, but two daughters instead.

I nod to your ranting, already weakening by my lack of engaging. Ma, I have been hiding my skin from you since I was old enough to know I had a skin. I cannot recall a single moment I let my body meet your eyes – I have carved a home inside myself and I hid there. You haven't known my body, the body you made with your own, ever since I could no longer fit in your lap. As I think about the way you mistreat my sister, I feel a pang of relief that I made a secret agent of myself. You cannot attack me likewise, you do not know me. You do not know my skin. The skin you made I claimed as mine now – I took it from you and I decorated it to my liking, and you know nothing of it. You tell me about regret and about costs. How in some years my sister will think twice about the butterfly on her arm. About the quote along her skin preaching words of freedom. I nod and I leave the room. I escape with a hot beverage, my secret untouched. I almost turn back and tell you about the tiny little numbers she has also tattooed right above my shrine on her skin – your birth year, next to my own. I wonder if this would hurt you too; knowing what a powerful weapon she has made out of your existence into her own flesh. If this is regret, too.

Instead, I walk out. You do not know how to be kind sometimes, but it does not excuse us from trying in your place. She tattooed your birth on her skin. I cover mine, so it doesn't disrupt your eyes. In the end, we are still trying to please you in own desperate attempts. Everywhere in the world, ma, people are trying to please mothers regardless of our own ache. We try to please you, even when you mindlessly break us down. It is not the birth that hurts us, but the growing. I guess we're even now.

#on motherhood #personnel #i have been thinking about you a lot these days

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ijustwant2write · 4 years

Text

Model Wife-Thomas Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @nofckingfighting)

(REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND I HAVE ALSO CREATED A PROMPT LIST HERE IF YOU WANT TO TAKE SOMETHING FROM THAT)

Masterlist

Requested by @justsimplyme93: ‘Hey! How are you? I read the last tommy shelby one you did and i love it. Could you do another arranged marriage with tommy where he still go’s to lizzie and the reader asks to speak with him.’

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Cheating, sex, swearing, arguing slight violence

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sipping on my tea, I looked around at our guests in the house, all members of the ‘Grace Shelby Institute’. We had to keep up appearances, and although both Tommy and I hated socialising with people who used to turn their noses up at people like us, they were the ones providing the money. Normally, we would keep most events out of the house, but Tommy had pissed me off, and seeing as he was too busy to help organise it, I made all the arrangements; being petty was sometimes the only way I could get back at him.

“Mrs Shelby, what a lovely home you have! And the decor for today is just lovely.” an older, highly posh woman gushed to me.

I smiled.“Thank you. I am quite proud of myself.”

“I have not had the chance to speak with your husband yet. It seems he keeps vanishing into thin air.”

“Yes, he does have a habit of doing that.”

Knowing that there was no point in trying to track down Tommy, I suffered through an awfully dull conversation with the lady, having to disguise my boredom with polite smiles as more women joined us. They were all much older, I had seen a few young women here, all married to very rich men who were twice their own age; I suppose I couldn’t judge, it wasn’t like Tommy and I were actually in love.

“You know Mrs Shelby, I have always wondered how you met a man like Thomas Shelby.” one of the women said.

She was bold to say something like that, especially to me. I refrained from sighing as I started to recite the story Tommy and I made up.

“Well, it seems very cliche, I must say. We met when he was meeting with my father, obviously wanting to unite our businesses. I ended up being in the right place at the right time, we easily fell into a conversation with each other which was unfortunately interrupted by my father. Thomas was very confident to take me out to dinner, right in front of my father may I add! Surprisingly he was a charmer, and I guess we just fell in love along the way.”

The ladies all cooed, some covering their heart with their hand as if it were the most romantic thing they had ever heard. It was all bullshit. We had to make it as vague as possible, make sure that they had nothing more to gossip about. Both Tommy and I had been married before, they were our real loves; and both had been murdered by a rival, but who received more sympathy after they died? And who was called vicious, degrading names when she re-married to a wealthier, more powerful man? People of ‘society’ were disgusting.

“Finn,” I called out as I approached him, luckily escaping the women,“have you seen your brother?”

“Which one?” he smirked.

I smiled back, ruffling up his hair to annoy him.“The one I’m married to.”

He quickly smoothed it back down.“Not sure. Haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Alright, just keep an eye out for him, yeah?”

Although it wasn’t uncommon for Tommy to disappear (especially to avoid these groups of snobs), he had been gone for a while. He may have been frustrated by my choice of venue, but he would still inform me if he had to leave for business. This made me all the more suspicious.

Leaving the main room, I hastily walked down the halls, leaving the noise behind me. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, wishing that I didn't have an idea of where he could be...and who with. Brushing past staff carrying food and beverages, I made my way upstairs, checking our bedroom first. He was the lowest of low if he was up here; luckily, they hadn’t used this room. Checking through our bedrooms, it was only two doors down from our own when I heard heavy breathing. Taking a deep breath, I gripped onto the handle, bursting in and confirming my suspicions.

“If you’re almost finished, we have guests waiting for you downstairs.” I stated, averting my gaze away from the scene before me.

Lizzie had been bent over the bed, with her dress pulled up over her hips (how classy), and my husband right behind her. She bolted upright, shimmying her dress back down and pulling her underwear up; even after being caught in the act, she looked smug, head held high as she walked past me. Looking back at Tommy, he had an annoyed expression as he did up his trousers. I didn’t want to speak to him, but he called me back before I had a chance to leave.

“We need to speak about this.” he said.

“We do. But not now, not whilst I am hosting this event for the organisation you created for your dead wife.” I snapped, slamming the door shut behind me.

Luckily I had put a time limit on the event, and this time there was a genuine smile on my face as they all left. That was before I remembered what I had witnessed earlier. It was going to go down much messier than I first anticipated, especially since the tension between us had been building up after I caught them in the act. My footsteps were heavy on the way to Tommy’s office, not even bothering the knock before entering. In his usual spot at his desk, whiskey already poured, there was no reaction from him when he saw the fury in my eyes.

“Glad you’re settled for the evening.” I spat, hands on my hips as I stood opposite him.

“This is about earlier?” he coughed.

“What else would we talk about?”

“I’m guessing it has upset you.”

“Not for the reasons you’re thinking.”

He didn’t reply, instead lighting a cigarette.

“Tommy, I understand that there is that bullshit saying ‘all men have urges that need to be fulfilled’, but it doesn’t mean you can disrespect me in my own home.”

“Your home?”

“Yes, my home. I’m here a lot more than you are anyway. And of all the times to be fucking her, you chose the annual Grace Shelby Institute meet up?”

“Don’t say her name.” he mumbled.

I scoffed.“It’s the only way I can get your attention nowadays.”

Tommy raised from his chair, still smoking.“Attention? Since when have you ever wanted my attention?”

“We both knew that this marriage wasn’t based off of love, nor were we ever going to fall in love along the way. However, I have been nothing but a model wife to you. I keep up appearances on your behalf, I make up excuses for your disappearances, I also ensure that your reputation isn’t tarnished by people speaking about you behind your back! And if that doesn’t deserve some fucking respect then I don’t know what does! Also, don’t you think I miss the touch of a man? How many times have I come across men that have shamelessly flirted with me whilst you’re not around, and how easy would it have been to sneak away for just a moment to gain some satisfaction?!”

I could feel my face burning up as I ranted, hating that I wasn’t gaining any sort of reaction from him. Was he this blank with Grace? Was he this blank with Lizzie?

“So you’re asking me to stop seeing Lizzie?”

“I’m not asking you that, because even if I did, you would keep doing it anyway.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. I just want respect. I don’t deserve to be humiliated like this.”

“No one knows.”

“Your family does! And even if they didn’t, that means I don’t deserve respect?”

He sighed as he stubbed out his cigarette.“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You said it nevertheless.”

“What do you want me to do then?”

“Really Tommy? I want some common fucking decency.”

“Ask and you shall receive.”

I groaned, leaving before I said something I truly regretted. He was acting as if he didn’t give a shit (which he probably didn’t), which only angered me more. Who would want to be stuck in such a place? Letting out an angry scream, I picked up an expensive vase, raising it high above my head before throwing it on the floor with all my might. The pieces glided out across the hardwood floor, some spraying onto my shoes. A few servants rushed in, obviously alarmed by the noise. Instead of apologising, I marched past them, heading up the long stairs and to the bedroom; I would have preferred to grab the leftover bottles of champagne as a nightcap, but exhaustion from my anger would have to do.

Tommy still slept beside me that week, he still ate breakfast with me, sometimes dinner if he wasn't busy. He also tried to have normal, short conversations with me, though even when we glanced at each other, the tension was thick between us. It pissed me off that he was acting normal, and I knew that's why he was doing it...making me even more mad.

"I have a potential business partner coming here today." He informed me over breakfast.

"Why are they coming here?" I asked.

"I couldn't have a meeting elsewhere."

"I thought you said you don't like bringing business home...though come to think of it, you don't really do that either."

"Glad that's settled then."

I assumed that Tommy would want me out of the way when this 'partner' arrived. A good place to go was out to the stables, tend to the horses to take up time. However, I wasn't in the mood for riding or mucking out, instead opting to watch them be trained for racing. Leaning against a fence, I wasn't surprised that my mind was elsewhere, wondering why Tommy was still being so nice to me. We very rarely argued, mostly because neither of us wanted to face the problems at hand, especially when there were more pressing matters to deal with. But after yelling at him like I had, I expected some sort of silent treatment, or even for him to avoid me completely.

"Mrs Shelby?" a butler said from behind me. He continued as I turned around."Mr Shelby's meeting was to commence at twelve, but he is not here at present. However, his business partner has arrived. And..."

"And?"

"And Mr Shelby has asked that you keep him company whilst he is gone. He has assured me he shall be no longer than half an hour."

It was highly unusual for me to meet any of Tommy's associates. This meant that the man couldn't be any sort of threat, he wouldn't expose me like this. Following the butler back inside, I followed him to the parlour, preparing to act as a good host and a good wife.

"I'm sorry that my husband has kept you waiting, he's never been great with time keeping." I said as I walked in, the man having his back towards me.

As he turned around, my eyes widened, as did his.

"Christopher?!" I exclaimed.

"(Y/N)?!" He smiled, rushing towards me.

"Is that really you? What are you doing engaging in business with the Shelby's?"

"My firm is expanding, for some reason Thomas Shelby stepped forward and offered to become partners. I haven't heard about you for years!"

"Neither I about you. Ever since you moved away, we lost contact."

"And now you're the new Mrs Shelby. Bit risky isn't it?"

I laughed."Come sit down, u want to hear everything you have been doing since we last saw each other."

Christopher was a very old friend of mine. We had known each other since we were eighteen, becoming friends after our families were connected through business. We had been young people wanting to rebel, wanting to have fun; we were never in a relationship together, though we would sleep with each other, spend long nights out drinking with our friends. As a lot of my friends went off to get married to higher business men, he was still there, until I selfishly left him behind to marry my husband, the man I truly loved. I had loved Christopher, not so much as someone I wanted to spend my life with, though neither just a friend; it sounded more complicated that it was.

"You know, I always felt slightly bad for marrying and leaving you like that." I admitted.

"Only slightly?" he nudged me.

"It's not my fault I fell in love! We both said that we would never marry each other, it wasn't right."

"No, you are correct. Though, that didn't stop us doing things that couples do."

I giggled."And we did that a lot."

"I'm sure Mr Shelby keeps you busy."

"He would...if he was ever here. Though even if he was..."

"(Y/N)?"

"I've said too much already."

"Have the two of you ever...or haven't rather-"

"No we haven't. And I am telling you this in full secrecy, it must never leave your lips." I pointed a finger at him, becoming serious.

"I promise. I would never do anything to expose you like that."

"Thank you Christopher." I laid my hand on his thigh, thinking nothing of it until he placed his over mine.

Slipping away my hand, I looked away from him, feeling how intense our eye contact was becoming. It was stupid that my heart was beating faster, I was becoming hot under the collar over the tiniest amount of contact.

"I'm assuming your wife knows who you are making a deal with?" I said to start the conversation again.

"There is no Mrs in my life at the moment. I'm afraid work came first and well...there has never been much time."

"Oh Christopher, that's no excuse! Let me guess, you've lost your charm?"

"It's been working on you, hasn't it?"

He got me again. Glancing around, I saw no servants, though I wouldn't be surprised if they were eavesdropping. However, it was Tommy and I that employed them, if they wanted to lose their job, that would he the way to do it. Standing up, I gestured for Christopher to follow.

"We're going on a walk." I announced.

"What about your husband?"

"He will be ages before he gets here. And I'm allowed to show my old friend around the place."

We headed out of the front door, and without saying anything, I guided him down the path that led away from the house.

"(Y/N), I thought you were showing me around your home?" Christopher pointed out.

"I am. We're just starting at the beginning."

"What is that...hut?"

It was a small stone shed, one that would have been used to either keep guns or tools used to maintain the land, keep it tidy. Tommy had another one built closer, initially wanting to knock it down but soon forgetting about it. Now it was empty, the only things remaining being a desk and a chair. It was in front of the trees, slightly hidden by them. You would have to have a sharp eye to spot it, whether you were walking or driving by. Using my shoulder to budge it open, I stepped inside, closing the door after Christopher walked in.

"(Y/N), I'm not stupid, I know why we've come here." He said, staying close by me.

I hesitated to speak, knowing that I hadn't thought this through properly."Christopher... I wouldn't be doing this if-"

"Your husband is Thomas Shelby, this is dangerous for both of us."

"It isn't. He's allowed to go off and do what he wants, because he's Thomas fucking Shelby, and he's a man. Even if he found out about any of this, he wouldn't hurt someone if I asked him not to. He's good to me in that manner."

His hands came up to either side of my face."I'm worried about you, I've never seen you so..."

"Desperate?" I clung onto his jacket, pulling him closer.

"I couldn't believe it was you when you walked in. You're still as beautiful as you were when we were eighteen."

Although he was being a sweetheart and I hadn't received such compliments in a long time, I was inpatient. We both knew where this was headed, and it wasn't going to be as romantic or adventurous as it used to be.

Hungrily kissing me, his arms wrapped around my torso, reaching down to my arse as I pulled off his coat. Pulling away for a moment, he pushed me towards the desk, helping me scramble on top of it. My legs instantly spread as I ruffled up the bottom of my dress, using one hand to grab the back of his neck and kiss him again. I felt his hand slide up my thigh, gasping as he pulled my underwear aside. The sensation filling my body had been badly missed, and I felt myself writhing against his fingers. Leaning back against the wall, I moaned loudly, heavily breathing as I grinded my hips. He slowed down his movements, knowing how much it was frustrating me.

"Christopher..." I struggled to say."Fuck, please...don't stop."

He leaned in to my neck, sloppily missing it as he spoke in between."I loved teasing you like this."

I groaned as he removed his fingers, instantly reaching down to unbuckle his trousers. Before I could take a turn to torture him back, he pulled me off the desk, quickly turning me around and bending me over it. I yelped out in surprise, smiling at the thrill of it all. He tapped my legs apart, moving my skirts out of the way. I felt his skin on mine before he thrusted into me, making me cry out in pleasure. It didn't even matter if anyone could hear us, I hadn't fucked for God knows how long.

He was slow at first, building up the feeling that was in the pit of my stomach. I moaned out his name, reaching back to grab any piece of hm. He had a tight grip on my hips, especially as he started to quicken his pace. The noises escaping his mouth were somehow exciting me, I needed to feel and hear all of this. The pinching of skin from his hold didn't bother me, both of us shouting out each others names along with profanities before he came, but he kept going until I did too. With both of us finished and out of breath, Christopher gently collapsed over me.

"Fuck." I sighed as he pulled out.

Shakily straightening up, I made sure I was dressed correctly, kissing him gently one last time. My body couldn't believe what it had just gone through, and it already wanted more. Before we could say or do anything else, we heard the distant sound of a car, and it could only be headed this way.

"Shit." Christopher stressed, hastily getting dressed.

"It's OK! It'll be OK, Christopher!" I tried to calm him down.

"He's back already!"

"We'll head back and act like nothing happened. I was just walking around with you."

Making sure we both looked normal, we nervously made our way back to the house. My legs were still shaking as he speedily walked, but I said nothing, seeing the stress and fear plastered on his face.

"Ah, Mr Alexander, I see you have met my wife." Tommy was stood in the foyer, unnaturally smiling.

"We actually know each other. We grew up together." I explained, standing beside him.

Then it clicked.

"If you don't mind, I just need a quick word with my wife."

Christopher nodded, politely smiling at both of us before following the butler to Tommy's office. He turned to face me, casually putting his hands in his pockets.

"You invited him on purpose." I said.

"You might want to go lie down for a bit." He didn't say it maliciously, but I was still wary.

"Tommy, please don't hurt him. I initiated it, please don't-"

"I'm not going to do anything to him. He's done what I thought he would do."

"I'm confused. Why would you want him to sleep with me?"

"You said so yourself, why should it just be me doing what I want? You're Mrs fucking Shelby, you've got the power." He started to walk away, leaving me to still think about what he had done.

Still shaky but reeling from the events that unfolded, I ended up smiling."That scheming mother fucker."

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby one shot #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby imagines #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby one shot #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders one shot #bbc peaky blinders #Peaky Blinders bbc

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wickedgamesoyaoya · 4 years

Text

Irritation weaved through your limbs, devouring every nerve and cell with no remorse. The only remedy that was available for the virus contaminating your blood sat ahead of you, belittling you with the familiar scent that would tickle your nose whenever the waitress would slip on by. There was a reason you vowed to remain sober for the evening. Ingesting liquor would simply draw out the one emotion you were strategically masking with artificial laughter and twinkling smiles. Your new acquaintances found entertainment in your façade, and they made no inquiry into the truth behind your sarcastic words. For the smile painted across your lips indicated that you were satisfied with their company, they did not have even the slightest inkling of the emotions sickening your core.

Your best friend did, however, catch the tremors in your fingers, and the incessant tapping that sounded underneath the table. Oikawa tried to console you, with exaggerated praise and comedy. The others at the table were consumed by the performance, but your mind would not permit you a moment of peace.

It had been hours since you spoke to your two friends about locating your fiancé. Their silence was uncharacteristic and supplied confirmation that your fiancé did something, or perhaps was going to do something. Something that none of the others would dare to say. This newfound loyalty towards the cook was puzzling to say the least.

But was it really a matter of loyalty…? What could he have done that would compel silence from three of your best friends? Was it that terrible that each of your friends refused to be the bearer of bad news?

With your questions unanswered, the only option was to forget they existed.

Curling your fingers around the stem of the glass, the cold liquid was brought to your lips, earning you cheers from your new friends. The chocolate shavings defeated the bitterness your throat had craved, yet you were thankful for the weight the alcohol had lifted from your shoulders.

One drink turned into two, then three… and then four. When you endeavoured to order a fifth, Oikawa intercepted, swapping your glass with his. Instead of abiding with his request to sober-up, you scooped out an ice cube from the water glass then flicked it at Francisco.

“What was that for?”

“Well, Juliana said you were too hot, so I thought I’d cool you down.” The words were purred out slowly and followed by a half-hearted wink.

“Y/n, you know that’s not how it works.” Oikawa contemplated apologizing on your behalf, but your antics did not seem to phase the model.

“Shh, I don’t wanna hear your voice.” A single finger was pressed against the setter’s mouth, which twitched into a pout. Turning your attention away from him, you pressed yourself against the table edge, then leaned forward, dropping your voice to a whisper. “You guys know my best friends are more loyal to my fiancé than they are to me?”

“Y/n…” Guilt twisted into a dagger that planted directly inside of Oikawa’s heart. He was keeping this secret for you, not for the damn cook. He knew that come tomorrow; the younger Miya’s presence would replace the pain circling your thoughts with happiness. That was all he wanted. Your happiness. But he should have known this would backfire, patience was not your strong suit.

“I don’t think that’s true, y/n. I saw your social media. These guys care a lot about you.” Francisco countered after witnessing the grief in the setter’s eyes. From their limited interaction, the model was able to pick up on certain things – he knew the bond between you and Oikawa ran deeper than any friendship he could claim to have. He was envious of your relationship, really. And he also knew that it was the liquor that prompted your allegations, not the truth.

“Nope,” Popping your P’s, you shook your head. “Only Hajime cares about me. He’s the only one who is loyal to me! Isn’t that right, Tooru?” Both of your eyebrows were provided a taunting lift, but you knew he would never admit to a lie.

“You know it’s not.” The protest was exhaled softly, at this point the correct decision would be to confess where your fiancé was. However, when he opened his mouth to supply you the information, you ripped your gaze away from him then declared your own answer to the question posed.

“No, I don’t. What I do know is that I have a phone call to make.”

As you stepped away from the table, the setter groaned out your name, in hope to stop you. When he realized you would likely refuse to return, he removed a few bills from his wallet then placed it on the table.

“Thanks for inviting us. Sorry, my sweet little y/n gets a little emotional when she drinks. But it’s time we head out anyway.” Despite the worry lines etching into his delicate features, he presented them a departing smile. Juliana practically choked on her drink at the sight.

“No need to apologize to us. We had a good time. I hope things work out between y/n and her fiancé. She really does love him.” Francisco lifted his glass, accompanying the motion with a nod of acknowledgement. To Oikawa’s surprise, there was not even a hint of malice underlying his comments.

“Yeah she sure does.” Laughter spilled from the setter’s lips as he mumbled a repeated farewell. He sincerely hoped that Osamu loved you just as much.

The phone call you were referring to during your dramatic exit was meant for Iwaizumi. With the alcohol amplifying your emotions, you needed the trainer’s soft reassurances. You needed someone in your corner. Yet, your plan did not go unaltered. Battered by the icy breeze roaming the streets, you were stripped of every emotion except one – sorrow.

It should be no surprise that the person you elected to call was no longer Iwaizumi. The number you had dialed went straight to voicemail, though the pre-recorded greeting almost successfully tricked your intoxicated senses. When the beep signalled for you to begin, a deep breath was inhaled to prepare your lungs for the lengthy rant that would commence.

“Let me just say… it is seriously rude that you are ignoring me when you were the one desperate to talk that day. I even tried to keep my promise to Shin… I hate you. I hate you so damn much. I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you... I hate that I can’t stop loving you.” A pause was administered only when the liquid glazing over your eyes completely distorted your vision. Aggressively, you discarded the tears, smudging the mascara coating your eyelashes in the process.

“I hate that I miss your stupid face. It’s the stupidest face ever… I can’t believe you hurt me and then ghosted me! Get the fuck out of here, dude.” To help ease the strain now entering your temples, you pressed your fingers against your forehead in a soothing manner.

“Don’t ask me why I called you dude. I don’t know… But you and I are going to fight. That’s how we’re going to settle this now. No more talking. You better be ready punk, when I see you, it’s on.”

You would have added some additional threats if Oikawa had not snatched the phone out of your grasp, immediately clicking the end button.

“You’ve had a lot of fun this evening, haven’t you? Come on. It’s time to go home.”

Let’s do it again, shall we - sus-kawa

Masterlist - Previous - Next

A/N: lmao that voicemail is going to be a great landing present for osamu.

taglist: @idiot-juice-enthusiast @vicassa @yourstarvic @bringmelily @newfriendjen @hikarichannn @anime-simp @tsukkismamagucci @laughingismorefun @astronomyturtle @shegrewupwithoutafather @hyskoa1998 @deephumandragonperson @pretty-setter-bois @raenebalgaire @sugawarabby @justanotherfangirl2 @keijisworld @90s-belladonna @momoinot @sempiternal-amour @cherryblosom111 @yqshirov @haikyuufairy @volleybloop @bloody-bella @4fterh0urs @seikamuzu @namyari @toaster-stick @coconut-dreamz @roseestuosity @prcttylittlcthing @uzumakioden @nerdynstoned @kenmasgameboy @unstableye @ouijaeater15 @aquariarose @fandomtrashpandasposts @helloalex80 @stfucanunot @envyusshades @cuddlesslut @seijohiseliterambles @meiikuki @cuddlejeongin @tchalameme @ditu-m9 @elianetsantana

Taglist continued in the comments from my personal ❣️

#osamu x reader #osamu smau #osamu x you #osamu scenario #hq osamu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu smau #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu #osamu miya #miya osamu

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dingdongitsbees · 3 years

Text

BLACK-EYED SUSAN | LEVI X READER HUNGER GAMES AU

Chapter 5: Battle Commences

Previous - Next

Tw: mentions of self sacrifice through suicide, murder

Work Count: 10.7k Ao3 link Ask to be added to taglist

First person version can be found here

Master List

Spotify link for the soundtrack cause this a long one!

"What a marvellous feeling it would be, if we could say exactly how we felt. What a monumental victory. What a terrifying thought." — Akif Kichloo

You woke up with a start. Oh god oh fuck. You looked around the room frantically, you were still in Levi’s room in the penthouse, it was okay. You weren’t in District Two, it’s okay. Gabi isn’t dead, it’s okay. Gabi isn’t dead and you most definitely hadn’t killed her.

Yet.

Shut up. You wacked yourself in the forehead to get rid of the thought, hopefully getting rid of a few overthinking braincells while you were at it.

“You right?” a deep voice mumbled to your left.

You calmed down immediately and looked to Levi. “Sorry for waking you up, it’s alright. You can go back to sleep.”

“You sure?”

You just smiled and he weakly nodded before quickly losing consciousness. You sat in that bed for a while, just watching him. You were tempted to just draw back his hair that fell across his face so you could just look at his face. You knew the exact bend of his nose, the length of his eyelashes, the exact tint of his lips. You just looked at the face of your best friend. The face of someone you…

Time to get up.

You shuffled out of the bed as quietly as you could, keeping your warmth within the sheets. You pulled up them just a little further up to his chin before walking out and closing the door behind you and made your way to the kitchen.

“Mornin’ Hanji,” you said with a yawn. You stretched up as far as your arms could, your belly peeking out.

“Mornin,” she greeted back, still groggy despite the coffee she was inhaling. “Where’s short-stack?”

You let out a little chuckle at the nickname that he would no doubt hate if he heard. “He’s just sleeping in a bit.”

You got together some toast and juice for yourself. You munched quietly, dead to the world, Hanji too stayed silent. You glanced up for a moment and she was just staring at the tabletop in front of her, her hands clasped tightly on her mug deep in thought. You closed your eyes again lazily, having no energy to deal with any rants or learn anything for the next hour. You two were quiet for a while, encased in your little worlds, when she spoke.

“Is… is that his?” You looked up with a barely open eye to see her analysing you.

“Eh?”

“The shirt.”

You peered down, too tired to remember what you looked like let alone what you were wearing. The white shirt that enveloped over you obviously didn’t fit right and it was wrinkly now after having slept in it. “Oh yeah,” you hummed, taking another sip from your juice, “I stole it from him.”

She went back into deep thought for a while, running her tongue along her teeth. Finally, she decided to just let spill what she really wanted to say. “You like him, don’t you?”

Your heart stopped. You choked on your drink that you accidentally breathed in, coughing it up haphazardly as you thumped yourself on the chest. Didn’t need coffee to wake up anymore. You let out a pathetic and very unconvincing “What?” your voice cracked as you did so.

She just looked at you sadly from across the table, a pitying smile on her face. You had seen too many of those over the years. Given to you by classmates, teachers, the people at the hub, the other tributes. God, even Hannes used to do it. It seemed everyone always knew, like some magic sixth sense. Everyone knew except for the man in question. But you didn’t need reminding of your stupid fucking feelings for someone who will never reciprocate, especially now.

Hanji continued. “I guessed ever since the reaping, since you saw your face when he volunteered. But you do, don’t you? You love him?”

“Please,” you begged, “Please don’t tell him.” The silence between you two rung through the room as your hands shook. “I’m not ruining the last few days I have with him.”

She beat her foot against the ground, her tongue poking her cheek. She wanted to say something else. Something that you were sure was a bad idea or a lie. But she didn’t. Her foot just went still and she nodded.

Soon Levi and Erwin were awake too and grumbled their way into the kitchen, oblivious to the conversation that had just happened. Levi plopped down next to you after grabbing some cereal and went through it intensely. He gave you a side glance which you returned a strained smile to.

He frowned. “What’s up?”

“Just nervous is all.”

He nodded in understanding, it was a believable excuse, the scoring was today. You’d get to show yourselves off and get your score from 1-12 by tonight, luring in potential sponsors before the interviews. They weren’t going to be interested in someone that couldn’t even score a 6. You knew you could get a good score, maybe an 8, a 9 or 10 if you were lucky, but you didn’t want to be leaching off Levi’s sponsors when he inevitably got a high one.

“You’ll be fine,” he said, “Even if you get a lower score it’s not the end of the world or anything it’ll just mean they’ll underestimate you.”

“Ah, ever the optimist Levi,” you chuckled.

“Always on cloud nine.”

You both went quiet for a moment as he ate some more, you could feel Hanji’s eyes on you. You coughed nervously. “What are you planning on doing?” He had a broader range than you, it was obvious you were doing throwing, but the training room was his oyster.

He swallowed his food and tched. “A mix? I don’t fucking know.”

“You’re meant to be prepared, dumbass.”

“I’ll be fine,” he rolled his eyes, “Floch and his shitty group already saw what happened yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” a voice asked from across the table. You two froze. Erwin and Hanji now looked with you towards the source: Nick. “Ah yes I heard all about yesterday Mr Ackerman.”

“What’s he talking about?” Hanji looked to you two suspiciously. It was all your idea oh fuck. But before you could try and explain yourself and apologise Levi started.

“The careers wouldn’t leave us the fuck alone, so I just bruised up one of the trainers, nothing to fucking worry about.”

“Bruised? Bruised?” Nick screeched, “You broke ribs, an arm and his back!”

“Like I said, nothing to fucking worry about.”

Hanji took off her glasses and pinched the bridge or her nose. “You did this to intimidate the careers?”

Levi shrugged. “They were being fucking annoying.”

“You don’t intimidate the careers Levi; I didn’t think you had to spell that one out for you.” She looked to you. “You too.” You stumbled for words.

“She didn’t do shit, leave her out of this. They wouldn’t fuck off, so I made them.”

“You just learn to ignore them, or just talk to them.”

“Ah yes cause those shitheads like Reiner would love to solve things through talking.”

Hanji sighed and ran her ran her hand over her face. “What did they even say?”

“Just fucking shitty-”

“They said something about her didn’t they.” She looked him dead in the eye, Erwin and Nick looked to you. Levi leant back his chair, arms crossed, and said nothing. He clicked his tongue and refused to look at you. She was right on the money. “So, the answer is yes?” she asked.

“They just… Reiner just…”

“What did he say Levi?”

He dropped his head back and looked at the ceiling, he shifted himself closer to you by just a millimetre and sighed. “He said they’d pick her off first and I wouldn’t be able to do jackshit about it.”

The room was quiet. You could only hear Levi’s foot beating against the ground. You took a deep breath. You didn’t think that was what got him so riled up. Why would he… you got that you two were best friends, the person he had left after a lifetime of loss, but why were you worth getting riled up over? Why would Reiner even think to aim at you to do so anyway?

You reached across under the table and squeezed his knee. His eyes slid over to you; his anger gone, his foot still. You tilted your head and gave a little smile. “I’ll be fine, Levi. I’ve got you after all.”

You two were the last two in waiting room, the door slid behind you dramatically letting everyone know of your two’s arrival. You stiffened as the room looked at you, you could feel Levi tense beside you.

“Over here!” Sasha called out in one of those loud-whisper voices gesturing over to the concrete bench behind her and Connie that was already half inhabited by Kaya and Niccolo.

You tugged on Levi’s sleeve and headed over, sliding down next to them after Levi. You tried your best to ignore the stare Reiner was giving you from the other side of the room. Levi’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the bench, no doubt glaring back over your head. You nudged your hand into his, ignoring the heart attack it gave you, and calming him down. He let out a breath and glanced to you, still a bit red with… anger you supposed.

You directed your attention to the other four, they obviously had calmed down from yesterday’s scare, no longer looking uneasy with Levi, but looking more nervous he was about to start a fight with Reiner which was becoming more and more likely as they continued to live in the same world. The guard left for a moment, and much to the room’s horror, Reiner instantly took the opportunity by marching up to you two. Levi and you had risen out of chairs by the time he was at your feet.

“Hi there (y/n), I don’t believe we’ve talked before,” he greeted slimily, “It appears I haven’t made the best impression on your boyfriend though.”

You felt your eyebrow twitch. “No, it seems not.” To which statement you were replying to you weren’t even sure yourself.

He extended his hand to shake, and you knew it was bait, but the alternative was angering him. You took it and he yanked you forward, slamming you into his chest, nearly throwing you off your feet. You sensed Levi about to jump into action, but you quickly raised your other hand, gesturing to cool it.

“Follow your master like a good dog Levi.”

You restrained yourself from punching him in the face. Levi moved his hand to your shoulder to try and pull you away as gently as he could, but Reiner was having none of it.

“What are you doing Levi? You don’t get to have her back, she’s mine right now. I know I joke a lot, but I do know she isn’t actually your girlfriend.” A part of you wanted to turn around so you could see Levi’s face. To know if it struck a chord. The room was quiet.

“Leave her the fuck alone Reiner,” Levi spat.

“Ah but she’s so pretty!” He looked down at you with a smirk, taking no notice of your glare as he thumbed your lip. He moved his hand to your jaw and lifted your chin up to force you only an inch from his mouth. You held back a gag. Levi was far too ready to blend Reiner’s face into the ground.

“Tribute Braun.” The guard had returned, eyeing Reiner suspiciously.

Reiner looked down at you half-lidded, tilting his head. “I look forward to seeing you in there (y/n).”

You returned with a smile, one that was a little too wide and showed a too many teeth. “Me too.”

He scoffed under his breath, before finally letting you go and finding his way back next to Gabi. The young girl in question looked between you two bewildered and then just looked back to her feet dangling off the ground. Levi pulled you back to him, sheltering you with an arm around your back so you were forced to turn your head away.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, scowling. “Forget you killing him, I’ll do it myself,” you muttered. Levi nodded, already thinking of a way to let you get the final blow.

Sasha’s group created a barricade around you, Levi slipped you between himself and Kaya. “You alright?” Niccolo asked.

You shrugged. “He’s just a fuckin career.” That didn’t help unnerve them one bit.

A guard came in with a clipboard, running his fingers over the first name. “Bertolt Hoover?”

The tall boy in question rose to his feet and followed the man out the door. It would suck to be first, but you were going to be last so he wasn’t getting much sympathy from you. Over the next few hours the room depleted, one by one, district after district, going in to get their score. You wondered what type of thing Gabi was going to do, Falco you were even less sure of. Soon it was just the six of you, the air calm now.

“Connie Springer?”

“That’s me!” Connie jumped up, you held back from making a joke about his last name. The man didn’t even bother to look up and just walked past the sliding doors again.

You all waved as he went, Sasha wishing him good luck. You assumed he was going to be using spears, it didn’t strike you that he specialised in anything like Sasha. Levi told you Connie had picked it up pretty quickly when they were training together. Ten minutes later Sasha was called, and ten after that so was Niccolo, leaving just Kaya, you, and Levi. She shuffled nervously next to you, her feet rubbing together as they couldn’t reach the ground.

“You’ll be fine,” you said, “It’s just a score, it doesn’t mean much.” Like it was just some mathematics test. She nodded but didn’t believe your words.

“Kaya Zuerst?”

She hopped off the bench, looking twice the size of the guard.

“Kaya,” Levi called out from next to you, she turned. “You’re a smart kid, they’ll see that.”

She looked doe-eyed before smiling, she didn’t do too many of those. She nodded enthusiastically and marched after the guard.

You gave Levi a glance.

“What?” he asked, accusatory.

“Nothing, nothing,” the corners of your lips twitched up, “You’re usually not one for encouragement is all.”

“I can do it sometimes, brat.”

You laughed, throwing your head back. He watched you with a little smile on his face, no one was here to hide it from. The next ten minutes passed far too quickly, and the guard returned. Levi stood up and exhaled, prepping himself before his name was even called. He glanced to you.

“Give them hell, yeah?” You grinned.

He rolled his eyes and tched. “Obviously.”

You didn’t realise how cold the room was until you were the last one left in it. So quiet too. You’d think the metal walls and floor would echo every little sound they picked up, but it was just dead silent. You could hear your fingernails scraping the concrete bench like it was in your ear. You scuffed your shoes on the floor, waiting and wondering on how Levi was doing. Hoping he wasn’t pissing them off.

Finally, the guard returned. He led you through a maze of corridors, how he could tell apart one grey corridor from the next was beyond you, but eventually you ended up at the right room. Up above you could see Floch and his little gremlins peering down at you, waiting for the show to start.

Stood in the middle of the floor, you looked up. “(y/n) (l/n) from District Twelve.” Floch said nothing, his eyes just bore into your soul.

You gulped. You walked straight towards the knife throwing rack. You could feel their eyes watching you like prey. You picked up one in your dominant hand, casting a few others between the fingers of your other. You took a deep breath and faced the dummy that stood on the other side of the room. Its paper white skin stuck out sorely from the space, its red targets on its torso and head being the only thing to bring any colour. Its faceless face just stared at you waiting to be destroyed. It’s one and only purpose.

You glanced up to the judges, even though you already knew they were watching. You took one step and whipped your arm, sending the knife straight into the bullseye of the target on the torso. A low whistle sounded out from above. You took another breath and threw again, sending into the dummy’s right hand, piercing all the way through. It was a risky throw, but you had to show you could hit small and organic spots. You quickly followed it up by getting it through the other hand. You took in a sharp breath, if you directed your arm only a centimetre difference, you would have missed it entirely.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. Calm down. You opened your eyes, tunnel visioned on that faceless face in front of you. With the last knife in hand, you sent it flying right between invisible eyes, sheathing the blade entirely in the stuffed brain.

It almost materialised in your mind that this was a simulation for killing a living breathing human, but you cast it away. You looked up to the onlookers and bowed your head and walked as fast as possible to the exit, keen to get out of Floch’s sight. Though the hairs on the back of neck told you his eyes never left you.

The doors of the elevator opened, you walked out, ready to go straight to Levi to complain on how you could have done better, when you heard hushed voices in the living room. You crept quietly towards the source and hid behind the wall so you could eaves drop. You weren’t sure why you were sneaking around like some sort of your spy, but your gut just told you that you needed to do this. You strained your ears and started hearing the voices of Hanji, Erwin, and most importantly Levi.

“So I don’t need you two to focus on me alright, just get her fucking out of there,” you heard Levi say.

“But…Levi,” Erwin paused, “What happens if you two are the last ones left?”

The room was silent. You could feel the blood pumping in your ears. Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.

“I’ll probably just off myself.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, you knew he would say that, that possible ending had been there since the Mayor’s room. You just didn’t want it to be real. You were on a race to see who would kill themselves first. You wanted to throw up. You tiptoed away from the wall going back to the elevator. You took a deep breath, calming and forcing back any tears that were threatening to surface, and then plastered a smile on your face.

“I’m back!” you yelled through the penthouse.

Everyone finished dinner quickly and found themselves lazing on the couch waiting for Willy to come on screen. Low and behold, right on the dot of seven o’clock his nig white smile filled the camera, paired with his electric blue bob.

“Good evening my lovely audience,” he began, “Tonight we’ll be taking a look at our tributes skill score this year, as usual the score will be on a rating scale of one to twelve. Are you all excited? I sure am! As usual we’ll start from District One.”

He started listing through them all, Bertolt and Annie both got a nine which was no surprise, Reiner got a ten which just cemented the level of threat you all thought he was. The scaling of one to twelve was never taken seriously, a ten was read as a ten out of ten. you’d never heard of anyone getting an eleven, let alone a twelve before. Gabi somehow got an eight, one that astounded the whole room, though you could practically hear her whinging about it already. You cringed as Falco got a four, he was really screwed, not that he wasn’t already. Marcel got a nine as well, rounding off the careers.

No one really listened after Marcel. A few fours, fives and sixes were thrown out, none ever went past seven though. Levi and you ignored all of them until you got to District Ten.

“Connie Springer with a score of… eight.”

“He’d be happy with that,” you muttered, Levi nodded.

“Sasha Blouse with a score of… nine.”

A smile broke on your face, “She’ll so make fun of him because he got one lower.” He broke a little smirk at that.

“Niccolo Kochin with a score of…five.”

You grimaced but it was no surprise, Niccolo wasn’t made for the games, he was painfully average as they came, despite the fact he was older. You were half surprised his score beat Falco’s.

“Kaya Zuerst with a score of… six.”

Yours and Levi’s eyes flew open, a six was certainly not a bad score for someone so young.

You knocked your knee with Levi’s. “Seems your pep talk did some good.”

He rolled his eyes, but his eyes stayed on the image of her on screen. A flash of pride went through him. You held back from teasing him.

You all then leant forward, ready to hear Levi’s score. Hanji’s, Erwin’s and even Nick’s eyes were glued to the screen along with ours, ready to see the number that could make or break your two’s game.

An eleven flashed across the image of Levi. You couldn’t believe it, and neither could he. Nick looked like the definition of the word flabbergasted.

“What the fuck did you do in there?” Hanji questioned.

“Just screwed up some of those dummies,” Levi shot back, but he was looking for an answer too. You were sure the answer lay in the training room incident, Floch had certainly taken those broken bones into account.

You drew a quick breath, not having the time to rejoice yet. You all stared at the screen in anticipation.

“(y/n) (l/n)…” your heartbeat hammered in your ears, “with a score of…” oh let it out already would you. All you wanted was an eight, you could work with that, come on, you’ll take an eight.

“Ten.”

Huh?

Your eyes were saucers as the room erupted in cheers, though they were entirely made by just an enthusiastic Hanji and an Erwin pumping his fist from the comfort of his seat.

Levi bumped his shoulder into yours. “Good job.”

You grinned. “You too.”

“What did they feed you two in Twelve, holy fuck,” Hanji cackled. For just a small time, the cheery self you were sure existed before her games was running through her veins once again. Was it hope maybe? Hope that she wouldn’t have to watch both of her district kids die again? You weren’t sure, but things like that don’t have to be analysed. Sometimes you can just be happy.

Today were the interviews, you’d only get five minutes on stage each to show yourselves off before the games started. The games were tomorrow, holy fuck. But anyway, getting ready for the interviews entailed a lot more training than either Levi or you thought it would need. Nick for a whole hour taught you two the proper etiquette you were sure Levi would throw out the door immediately. You had to learn how to sit properly, how to make eye contact properly, how to laugh properly. All exactly the way it’s meant to be done. You even had to learn to walk in terrifying high heels and prayed Erwin hadn’t chosen similar ones for you. But even though Nick was a bit of a hardass you knew this was his way of helping, even if he didn’t want to admit he liked you two.

Next, you both were whisked away to Erwin who was making final adjustments to your outfits. You each stood on a platform as Erwin and his assistants flew between you, poking in yet another pin. Your dress was pretty simple, a jet-black dress that almost reached the floor, the drapes were shaped like petals and felt just as velvety as real ones. The top part went all the way down your arms and up your neck, skin-tight. On the table next to you was also chunky gold jewellery you were sure to wear later, many of which looked like yellow flowers. The shoes you had on were thankfully far less scary than the ones Nick gave you. They were platform shoes, combat boots almost, adorned in gold chains that were meticulously placed as to not be trippable.

Levi looked very dapper, you had to look away from him, pretending it was just because of how Erwin situated you not because your face was heating up with every stuttered word you managed out. He had a jet-black pant suit and shirt that hugged him in all the right places, no doubt trying to show off his physique. He kept his shirt unbuttoned one too many buttons for you to able to feel sane. What is it with guys always looking good in full black? You wanted to hit Erwin for letting an outfit come into creation even though it was incredibly simple. Where his revealed chest was, showed a daisy chain necklace of black-eyed susans that you hadn’t put on yet, you almost thought they were real until Levi started complaining on how hard they were. Suspiciously, through the whole tailoring process, he avoided your eye the whole time when you did sneak a glance at him even though he’d seen you almost bare only a few days ago at home.

Home. It wouldn’t be home anymore no matter which one of you returned.

Levi was allowed to go before you, yours needing more adjustments as it was just a bit more elaborate, leaving you alone with Erwin. You liked Erwin, he was quite calm and calculated. Every movement and word that left him was purposeful and honest. He had a bunch of pins in his mouth, bushy eyebrows furrowed as he scouted every imperfection in his design.

“It must suck having to deal with Twelve as your first year usually,” you said.

Without looking up he replied, “I chose Twelve.”

“Why would you ever choose Twelve?”

“Every year,” he put in another pin, “The stylists watch the reapings and call dibs on which district they want. Most already have designs for most districts, or outfits that can adjust for each one. Sometimes multiple if they’re a workaholic. But as we went through you gut told you to wait. Everyone had already chosen theirs and when we got to yours a lot of people regretted that decision.” He chuckled to himself, reliving the memory. “The other stylists are quite jealous I got the pleasure of working with you two.”

“I’m glad we got you then.”

“I do like you two very much.”

“Even Levi?”

“Especially Levi.”

You laughed, forgetting you had to stay still and very thankful you didn’t get stabbed by a thousand needles. He watched you with a thin smile.

“What?” you asked, his gaze feeling inquisitory.

He started to shake his head but froze. “Make sure when you’re on stage, to talk about him.”

“Why?”

“You get a twinkle in your eye.” He didn’t explain any further and let you go after taking the dress off.

You met up with Levi and Hanji in the living room, the latter already ranting to the other. She looked up. “Oh good, you’re here. I have no idea how to save him.”

He leant back into the couch, arms crossed and frown ever prominent.

You tilted your head. “He can’t be that bad.”

“We practised and he immediately swore at me.”

“Ah.”

“I don’t know why this is all so important anyway,” he grumbled, “Why does how likable I am, have anything to do with how I’ll do in there.”

“Cause it gives them a reason to root for you,” Hanji sighed, “People don’t root for a boring asshole.”

“I’m not boring.” He didn’t waste time trying to debunk the second adjective.

“Look how about...” Hanji looked around the room before a light bulb moment happened and her eyes flew to you. “Just pretend you’re telling me or Erwin about her, just find one of us in the audience and tell us all about her.”

You looked down in your hands, hiding your face in embarrassment.

“Fine,” he said, his face still sour but his was voice considerably softer.

You two rode down the elevator, your nails dug into your palms. Levi knocked his hand with yours, immediately making you loosen your grip. “You’ll be fine, you’re likable.”

“What, scared you won’t be?” you joked. He rolled his eyes, but he didn’t argue. You could tell it had been weighing on him all day, he was physically incapable of being anything but himself, but if he was unlikable, it could crash down on both of you. “You’ll be fine, Levi. I think you forget how cool you are.” He tched but pink dusted his cheeks at the compliment.

You stepped out into the corridor, a guard already waiting for you to direct you two where to go. You followed him silently and found yourselves at the back of the line of everyone. Every person you could see was shifting nervously, you swore people were less scared of going on stage than into the games. You could hear the ear-splitting crowd from here, Willy’s voice only barely drowning them out. You hoped the dramatic eyeliner on would hide the fear in your eyes.

A stage director came out and gestured for the first person to come. You took a deep breath as Annie walked out ahead, the first to go on. Her going first made any following acts a lot easier. She was cold and stoic despite being from One, so Willy would have a tough time with her, not to mention from what you could tell as you watched her shaking hands, she was not made to be in the spotlight.

The time flew by quickly, or least in comparison to the scoring yesterday. Unsurprisingly Reiner and Gabi were the crowd favourites, Reiner bringing his confidence and Gabi bringing her enthusiasm. District Two was well loved here. Sasha and Connie got a lot of the audience as well, both playing up humour which was unsurprising, even heckling each other on stage which got the crowd in stitches. Kaya was a pleasant guest to calm down the energy again, speaking softly and distinctly. Willy congratulated her on her score which got her beaming. You patted Niccolo on the back when he got sent out and tried your best to tune him out as he was painfully awkward for the first half, but as soon as he got prompted to talk about something he was passionate about, food, he became almost captivating to watch. Willy looked incredibly relieved. But that meant you were up next.

“Go time,” the staff ordered. You gave a last glance to Levi. From his spot leant on the wall, he looked you straight in the eye and nodded. You’ll be fine. You took a deep breath and stepped out onto the stage.

The crowd roared as soon as your foot was visible, practically deafening you. Without much thought you made your way to the couch next to Willy Tybur and tried not to trip on your own two feet as you did so. He welcomed you with open arms and guided you into sitting down. As much as Capitol citizens sucked, particularly the ones involved with Games, Willy did try and make each tribute shine as best he could. His electric blue hair stood against his white suit, making you two look like yin yang on stage with your full black getup. You heard a few whistles from the audience and held back the urge to flip them the finger.

“(y/n), what a pleasure it is to meet you,” Willy greeted.

“And likewise, Mr Tybur.”

“Oh please, call me Willy!”

The crowd laughed, what was so funny about you had no clue.

“Before we start, I must say, I do love your hair,” you complimented.

“Oh thank you! I just had it done today.”

“But I did think it was candy when I first saw it.”

He gasped dramatically. “Is it the blue?”

You nodded solemnly. “It’s the blue.” The crowd laughed at your two’s mock stoic faces.

“The question is, does it taste like it?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Well, there’s only one way to find out.” The crowd giggled as you hesitantly leant towards each other. You took a strand of his hair and took a fake bite, letting go and chewing, as if you were savouring the taste. “Hair, definitely hair.”

The crowd roared, Willy joining in. You were still jittery but at least they sounded as though they liked you.

“Now you made quite the impression at the reaping and at the parade and now here, I’ve got to guess that you’re quite popular at home. Have a boy that’s taken your heart?” He winked dramatically to the audience which got some laughs. You chuckled nervously, not wanting to say out loud what you thought the inside joke was in case it was wrong.

You scratched the back of your neck with the biggest smile you could manage. “No sorry, I haven’t really had a boyfriend or anything like that before, I haven’t had many people like me, I don’t think I were blessed with confidence for it anyway.”

“Maybe the boys thought you were already taken.” He raised an eyebrow which got another laugh from the audience. “I think a few of us assumed something might be brewing because of those flowers.” You flushed. “Has Levi had any luck with the girls?”

You rolled your eyes dramatically, very thankful to switch topic to something you could talk his ear off about. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you?”

He clapped his hands together excitedly. “Oh, please do tell.”

“He’s been popular at home since he started school, the amount of confessions I’ve walked in on is unbelievable.”

“But he’s never accepted them?”

“Never! If he tells you he hasn’t had the opportunity or people don’t like him, let it be known he is a full-blooded liar.”

Willy threw back his head and laughed, hand on his chest. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Now back to you, you received a ten in the scoring, I’m not saying I thought you were weak, but I certainly wasn’t expecting a score that high.”

“You wound me Willy,” that earned some more chuckles, “But I was surprised too don’t worry, I was just gunning for an eight if I’m honest.”

“That still means you were expecting a fairly high score, hmmm,” he looked you up and down suspiciously, “Have some hidden talents, do you?”

You grinned. “A few.”

“Oh, I wish I could ask you more, but we’re not allowed to talk about it aren’t we?”

You shook your head. “I’m afraid not, though I’m sure you’ll see why I got that score soon enough.” A few oo’s went around the audience.

“Well, I’m certainly excited to see. Isn’t everyone?” The crowd applauded and cheered; they really were just a living sound board. He turned back to you. “Now, I’m afraid this may sombre the mood, but what’s this up here?” Willy gestured up to the screen above you which showed you shaking your head frantically at the reaping as Hanji stood next to you fishing out a name for the boys. The clip replayed over and over thankfully, so you didn’t have to see how crestfallen you were only seconds after.

You swallowed, your face failing to hold the happy-go-lucky self you had just had on. “I was trying to tell Levi not to volunteer.”

The crowd awed.

“Had he told you? That he would volunteer if you were ever called?”

You shook your head. “When I saw his face I just… I just knew what he was going to do.”

“You could tell just from his face?”

“Yes, I’ve always been able to.”

You could see some members of the audience dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs, the seat suddenly became extremely uncomfortable.

Willy took your hand in his, patting the top of yours as he looked to the audience with a sympathetic smile. “And now that he did volunteer, what’s your plan now?”

“To get him out, he shouldn’t even be here in the first place.” You could sense Levi wanting to argue with you from the corridor. How he could argue against something like that you couldn’t be sure, but he would certainly try. “But even though I want to punch him for coming,” you nearly cracked a grin, “If I was betting, my money would be on him.”

The timer went off and the audience cheered, giving a huge applause as Willy brought you to your feet so you could courtesy. The sound echoed in your skull even after you had walked up and sat next to Niccolo on the right of the stage.

“And now with that warm pre-introduction can we now give a welcome to our last tribute, Levi Ackerman!”

He walked slowly on to the stage, no doubt just trying to lessen the amount of time he had to talk as much as he could, but it just made him look like some suave bad boy. You had to hold back giggles as the crowd wooed him. That black shirt was doing wonders. Levi finally sat down, almost going to cross his arms, but Nick had drilled into him that doing that would not be accepted, even from him. Instead, he put them on the arms rests, like he was being strapped in to be tortured. He avoided looking at the audience at all costs, leaving him to just accidentally glare at Willy. Thankfully, Willy seemed to be used to this kind of guest and immediately cut out any possible light-hearted script he had previously thought of. You wondered if Hanji let it slip to him what sort of questions to ask.

“So, Levi,” Willy started, “Your district partner has already told us quite a bit about you. She’s painted you in quite a good light. But first I want to get into your score. An eleven! That’s quite a feat, I can’t even recall the last time someone got one.”

Levi shrugged. “Just a score.” That got some chuckles from the audience. Just a score, you say that when you get a five not an eleven Levi. You hoped sponsors were leaning forward in their seats.

“Just a score! Just a score! You’re certainly a confident one Levi,” Willy laughed, “You’ll be a force to reckon with.”

Levi shrugged again, this time a small smirk appearing. “We’ll see.” You swore you heard a few girls squeal, you squeezed your eyes shut. Calm down, not the place to be jealous.

“Now, am you right in thinking you and your district partner are close?” Willy asked, Levi nodded, shifting in his seat, “What’s life like for you two at home?”

“Well,” he glanced to you behind him, you gave him two discreet thumbs up, “We’ve lived with each other for the past while. We used to live with our two other friends too but they… Anyway yeah, we’ve lived with each for the past few years.”

Willy gave a look to the audience, eliciting some chuckles. “Lived together, hmmm, are you more than just roommates?”

“She’s my best friend,” he answered simply. It shouldn’t have made your heart swell, but it did.

“Now just before, (y/n) talked to us about the reaping.” The crowd quietened; a cough could be heard from the back row. “That was very brave of you to volunteer.”

Levi cut him off. “It wasn’t.”

Willy looked dumbfounded; whispers shot through the watchers. Willy calmed himself. “When you heard her name called, what was running through your mind?”

Levi was silent for a while. “As soon as I heard, I knew I had volunteer, there wasn’t another choice for me.”

“Is there a reason she’s special to you?”

He clicked his tongue like he’d asked the most obvious question he’d ever heard. “Because she’s her.” The crowd awed. “She can be selfless to a fault, especially when it comes to me. I haven’t really done anything to deserve it, I don’t really know why she stuck around if I’m honest.”

You shook your head; it was the other way around. A camera caught you for sure, but you didn’t care.

“Stuck around?” Willy probed further.

“My…my mother and her parents passed away around the same time,” the crowd let out some cries, “I was a huge fucking asshole,” you could practically hear Nick weeping to himself over the swear word, “I’d pick a fight with anyone that looked at me wrong, well I haven’t changed much in that respect, I just wasn’t a good person. But she came over to me, even though she was grieving twice as much as me, and just stuck around, not letting me push her away at all. It was annoying at the start but…”

“Not annoying enough to not admit to yourself that you liked her company?” Willy finished.

Levi nodded. “She’s kept me alive for the past few years, it’s time for me to do the same.”

The buzzer sounded, and the crowd sulked, begging for more. You were grateful, had it gone on any longer you might have cried. Levi walked over to find his seat next to you, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He spared you a glance but looked away immediately.

“What?” he muttered.

You didn’t have a reply.

You went back to the penthouse and Hanji sent you both off to get changed out of your clothes before requesting you guys to the living room. She directed you to sit down and you both did so with no complaints. She looked into her clasped hands as you two shifted nervously. She looked like she couldn’t believe what she was thinking.

“I’m…” she began, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I’m going to give you two the advice that is usually the one thing you are not mean to do.” She looked up intensely, her eyebrows furrowed and face stoic. “I want you two to go into the cornucopia.”

You were both taken aback, taking a minute to digest those words. It was the golden rule that anyone that wasn’t a career took very seriously. Going into the cornucopia was a death wish for most people, it’s a great way to get killed within the first two minutes as everyone rushes the weapons. Levi kneaded his palm with his fist, neither of you were sure what to think. Going into the cornucopia meant you were screwed short term, but not going meant you were usually screwed long term. You can survive a few days without weapons through just hiding and running, but if you’re in the final few that’s not how you win unless you’re gifted with a miracle.

“I have a feeling that this arena will be harder than usual. Levi, you’re faster right?” Levi nodded. “I want you to go into the weapons, I want (y/n) to go to the supplies around the edge.”

“Absolutely not,” you stood up, “You’re not putting Levi in the middle of a death trap.” Levi looked to the ground.

Hanji, feeling the tension building, muttered a quick “I’ll leave you guys to talk” and escaped.

“I’ll do it,” he muttered.

You turned to him with wide eyes. “Huh?”

He reluctantly looked up. “We can’t deal with Reiner and the rest of them unarmed. I have a feeling they’ll either stay clear of us or gun for us first. We’ll die if it’s the latter.”

“But you- I just,” you tangled your hands in your hair, tempted to pull chunks out to just let your frustration have some sort of outlet, “You’re not even meant to be here. I’m not letting you get fucking killed.”

His face softened. “Calm down. I can handle it.”

“But I,” you forced back tears, your voice went to a whisper, “I can’t.” You sat back down again, your head in your hands trying to hide the tears that wanted to fall to the floor between your fidgeting feet. “I… You have this desire to put yourself in danger and I don’t know what I’ll do if you actually get hurt.”

You heard him shuffle next to you and then saw his feet in front of yours. “Look at me (y/n).” You hesitantly did as you were told, lifting your head to see him crouched before you. “Look…” he tried to find the words. “As fucked as it is, we’re probably going to get hurt whether we go in or not, one of us will be killed whether we go in or not. It’ll be the same outcome no matter what we do, and maybe even worse.”

Slowly he grabbed your hand delicately and held it between his. “We’ll be alright.” You wanted to look away, but his steel eyes were locked onto yours and wouldn’t let go. You didn’t want to lose him, the thought of him dying in the first few minutes and leaving you alone for the rest of the time was mortifying, though the chance of him actually dying like that was lower than you wanted to admit.

“Okay,” you breathed, “We’ll go in, but if when we get in it looks bad, we have to be ready to change plans.”

He clicked his tongue but didn’t argue.

It was the last night, the last night. Tomorrow you might be dead or a murderer, and Levi might be too. You wandered to his room, like the nights before, not needing to knock. Quietly as a mouse you snuck into his sheets, you felt his breath caress your face and looked up into his piercing grey eyes.

“I’m sorry I got mad at you before,” you whispered. He just shook his head. “I’m just scared.”

“I know.”

“I’m just scared I’ll lose you,” you leant your forehead into his chest, “I don’t what I’d do if I did.”

He cupped your head and pushed you closer, your legs glanced off each other. You gripped onto his shirt tightly, holding on for dear life. You hadn’t even realised you were shaking so bad. His rested his chin on top of your head, smoothing out your hair with his hand. You held back a sob.

“We’ll be alright,” he muttered, “We’ve always managed, we’ll be alright.”

Neither of you believed that but you didn’t have any other choice to believe in those words anyway. It’ll be okay, it has to be.

The next morning the light snuck in past the blinds, casting light rays on the both of you. It painted his sleeping face beautifully. His arm was still under your neck, his other wrapped around your waist. It was a miracle you could move your head back even a centimetre to look at him. Slowly, you ran a thumb across his cheek, it was impossibly soft and smooth, he must have taken advantage of every hygiene product he’d found since you two got here, you thought with a chuckle.

Footsteps starting getting closer to the door and you quickly shut your eyes. Please don’t take you away from him you begged. The door creaked open, spilling the light from the corridor in. You breathed slow and paced.

��They’re still asleep,” Erwin whispered. It was silent for a moment.

“We don’t have to leave yet,” Hanji said, “Give them a few more minutes of peace.”

The door shut and your eyes flew open, though to your horror you were met with open grey ones. You prayed that he had only just woken up, not before you caressed him. He thankfully made no indication that he knew. His eyes raked your face up and down, like he was making sure to memorise every part of it, in case he couldn’t see it anymore. He sat up and pulled you up with him. Your hands sat snug in his, his thumb brushed over the back of them.

You held back your blush as much as you could. “Hey,” you said softly.

“Hi, brat.”

“Today’s really the day huh?” he nodded. “Are we going to be okay?”

“As long as it’s not some shitty plan, we’ll be alright. I trust Hanji knows what she’s doing on the outside.”

You nodded. “Time to get up?”

“Not yet,” he muttered. You looked at him in shock but said nothing and he just played with your hands. He inspected every finger, every fingernail, the lines of your palm, detailing it all to memory. Each touch sparked electricity between you, making you flustered again at his delicate touch. When he had gone through your right hand he looked up to your again, and deep into your eyes, memorising the exact shading and tone of your irises. When he got to his feet, pulling you off the bed, one hand still encased in his, you wished you had taken the time to memorise him too.

Breakfast was a quiet endeavour, your hand stayed laced in his under the table. No one mentioned anything about it. Nick gave you both a teary goodbye when you left, you had no idea he harboured that many feelings for you two, maybe it was just for once he realised that he was saying goodbye to people who were going to die.

You only had to take the elevator one floor up to the roof. Waiting for you two was the hovercrafts, guarded by too many people to be deemed necessary. You split off from Erwin and Hanji without a word and went into the tribute one while they went to the other. Your hands stayed interlaced when you walked through the open hatch. You waved quickly to Sasha and Connie who waved back with a strained smile. Next to them, Niccolo was trying to calm down Kaya who looked apprehensive of flying but he looked even worse. Your fingers were forced to leave each other when you had to buckle into the remaining seats. His fingers brushed the tips of yours before departing.

The hatched closed up with a bang and the whirring of the rotary blades started, lifting everyone into the air.

As soon as the hovercraft was stable, a woman started walking around, one by one she went to each of the seated tributes and stuck a needle into their arm. Each winced, trying to not let their discomfort show. Eventually she made her way over to you.

“What’s that?” Levi questioned.

The woman lifted your arm and stuck in the huge injector. “Tracker.” You shook out your arm when she was done, getting rid of the weird feeling. Levi took it as well, not even flinching as it inserted itself into his skin.

The flight over was quick and quiet, even Sasha and Connie remained silent for the duration of it. Your hand had found his again somewhere halfway through. He laced his fingers with yours, letting your hands bounce on the metal chair from the turbulence.

The hover craft landed, and the systems turned off. A large smack was heard on the other side of the hatch and it promptly opened. Some officers with guns were ready on either side of the opening. It always occurred to you that a group at some point must have attempted to make a run for it, especially at this point. You all might even be able to do it, but you weren’t risking having a bullet between your eyes.

Everyone unbuckled themselves, your hands quickly found each other again. His palm on yours was a lifeline at this point. You two followed behind everyone else, Sasha and Connie in front. In groups of six you all got on little carts, you two ended up on one with the four people you liked thankfully. The ride was silent, Sasha and Connie didn’t say a word, looking stoic, Niccolo and Kaya just fidgeted. You all winded through the building’s unorganised infrastructure, hoping the driver didn’t know where he was going. But he knew it like the back of his grey glove.

Everyone ended up in a circular corridor, doors leading into the same central spot it seemed. Each had a sign above the doorway reading a district and male or female. They were randomly ordered it seemed.

You all hopped off the cart and peered around cautiously, mentors were waiting for their tributes to lead them in. Erwin stood out quite obviously from everyone else, you two didn’t have two mentors like most other districts did so Erwin was your two’s substitute. The other four spotted their mentors quickly and waved.

You turned to them all, this would be the last time you’d likely see each other in this life, or at least on peaceful terms. “I’ll see you guys on the other side I guess,” you said. They gave you a smile, the last ones you might ever see.

“It was good knowing you all,” Sasha said, “In another life yeah?” You all nodded, even Levi. Sasha pulled you into a hug, almost crushing your lungs with love. “I’m sorry you have to go through this too,” she whispered in your ear. You looked to Connie over her shoulder, she looked to Levi. You two understood the pain the other was about to endure.

“I’m sorry for anything I have to do.”

She shook her head. “I understand, likewise.”

She let you go and gave you one last pure smile before they all split up, each giving a wave goodbye. Levi rubbed your shoulder, you inhaled sharply. You didn’t have time to cry.

“Well then,” you exhaled, “It’s time to go.”

You pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tight, wanting to imprint himself on your body. He hid his eyes under his undercut. You let go, and held him at arm’s length, giving him one last smile. As you turned to leave, he yanked on your hand and pulled you back into his arms, his biceps trapping you. You stiffened initially from surprise before melting into it. Your foreheads rested on the other’s shoulder, your feet swaying you two side to side. It didn’t matter that people were watching.

“Don’t die,” he whispered. You nodded firmly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

You two rose your heads and looked each other in the eye, it felt like the moment for a goodbye kiss but that wasn’t on the table. For better or for worse. He swallowed, taking once last look at you before jogging after Erwin who was waiting for him. You took a deep breath, watching his back disappear into a room, and turned to follow Hanji.

She shut the door behind you two, the room was bare except for a pile of folded clothes on a chair and a little corner room that held a bathroom. And of course, right in the middle was a giant glass tube you were going to be sent up in. She handed by the clothes, the jacket and pants were sandy and surprising light and breathable. The tank top was black and simple, tight enough where you could still breath but not need to worry about fabric rippling in the wind.

“Erwin snuck a glance at the clothes before,” Hanji spoke, handing over the pair of shoes, “We both reckon desert.”

You swallowed and made your way into the bathroom, leaving it open a crack so you could still hear and talk to her as you changed. “So, what does that mean for us?”

“Well, I’m guessing water will be hard to get, I doubt you’ll get it in the cornucopia or from any rain or rivers around. Not to mention it’ll be hot as balls all the time, so there’s going to have to be shelter of some sort. Deaths through heatstroke aren’t fun to watch.”

You nodded even though she couldn’t see you, getting on your pants. “Anything else?”

“There might be things in the sand if there’s space for it so watch your step. Make sure you don’t trip in it either, sand is a pain to run in.”

You slid on the tank top. “I’ve never been to the beach before.”

“It’s like mud but not sticky.”

You stepped out, now fully dressed. Hanji stepped forward and zipped up your jacket. “Any last advice?”

She stared at you, pouting her lips. “Yeah actually, I really think you should tell him.”

You ran your fingers over your face. “Hanji one of us is going to die in there, probably both of us. I don’t want his last thought of me being that he wished I didn’t tell him.”

“What if… what if it’s reciprocated?” You weren’t about to let some impossible hypotheticals get to you.

“That’s… that’s even worse. Our last thoughts would be what could have been.” She sighed but said nothing else.

“Talking about Levi though,” you began, “If we get separated during it, send sponsors to him not me.” You turned towards the tube, running your hand over its surface.

“No.”

You whipped around. “What do you mean no?”

“I mean it’s bold of you to assume he hasn’t asked that of me already.”

You huffed. “You send the sponsors to the person most likely to win, we both know that’s him.”

“Do we?” She looked down at you, you’d never seen her more serious. “None of us know what’s going to happen when you two step into that arena. I will send them to whoever needs them and that’s it.”

You grumbled but a sudden beep interrupted your sulk.

“Tribute, please step into the pod, you have one minute remaining. Penalties shall apply if not followed,” the digital voice said. Suddenly breathing became an impossible task.

“Holy shit Hanji, holy shit.”

She stepped forward quickly and put her hands on your shoulders. “You’ll be alright, you and Levi will be fine. But first you need to step into here.” You let her direct you into the opening of the pod, you felt the walls around you to attempt to ground yourself, but it just felt suffocating. “Look at me.” You looked up; you were sure you seemed terrified. She sucked in a breath. “Just look for Levi when you get up, that’s all you need to do okay?” You nodded quickly.

“Ten seconds remaining,” the speakers droned,

“Thank you, Hanji, for everything,” you said.

She shook her head. “Thank you. You’ll hear from you soon alright? Stay safe.”

The door slid across in front of her, cutting you two apart. You placed your hand up to the glass and she returned the gesture. She nodded to you. Slowly the tube began to rise, and her hand and face were gone from your vision.

The light was blinding when the hatch above you opened, it took you five seconds to just get your bearings. Hanji and Erwin were right, the sand around you threatened to blow into your eyes. You peered around and saw to your surprise that you were in what looked like an abandoned city. The sky was broken up by the tops of huge sandstone towers, all evenly spaced from each other. They looked like they went on for forever. The cornucopia in front of you was a great black metal stain on the landscape, disturbing the consistency of the scenery.

You looked to your left and saw everyone else. You were all in a little semicircle, each on your own little platforms, you were right on the tail end of it. Dotted between everyone and the cornucopia was little circular concrete platforms like lily pads to make it easier to run. Next to you, about fifteen metres away, was some girl you had never bothered to learn the name of. She was already facing into the city, ready to leg it when the timer counted down. You squinted your eyes and held up your hand to see through the light, trying to find Levi. Panic had nearly begun to set in when you recognised his black hair, he was already looking at you. He cocked his head towards the cornucopia. You followed his eyes and realised with frustration that Hanji’s plan wasn’t going to work.

Usually, all the weapons were concentrated in the centre, with supplies filling the space between. But it seemed this year they wanted to cause chaos. They were all completely spread from each other, and there was barely anything to even begin with. Backpacks were metres away from swords, sleeping bags close to a bag of apples. But there was hardly anything so it seemed everyone could get one thing each at best. Near Levi was a hooked sword that had his name all over it, and near you was a conveniently placed pile of throwing knives. They were deeper in than you two were planning for you to go in, but it was a gift that you couldn’t give up.

You looked back to Levi and he instantly knew what you were thinking. He shook his head furiously. Don’t you dare.

You nodded. Plans change Levi.

Not like this. Don’t be fucking stupid.

You turned away, getting him out of your sight. I’m sure he was close to yelling at you.

10 the screen above the cornucopia lit up, a big boom accompanying it. It started counting down.

You leant forward, ready to run.

You glued your eyes on the clear path in front of you.

You looked to Levi, making eye contact.

Don’t you dare die, brat.

You better not either dumbass.

A piercing boom filled the air and you all sprinted. You hopped from circle to circle as fast as you could, scooping up a backpack as you did, throwing it on to your back quickly. You didn’t dare take your eyes off the knives, if you looked back too soon, you were dead. You hooked them quickly into hands, one slipped and fell into the sand. You cursed, your breath and hands shaking, your heartbeat in your throat.

You scanned your surroundings for any danger and just saw chaos. People were running and shouting everywhere, swords clanged against each other, mixing together into a deafening cacophony. No one was near you, but it meant they were concentrated where Levi was. You picked up the fallen knife and held it at the ready, searching through the crowd to find the black undercut.

You found him, already halfway to you. His sword swung in his hand; a backpack held over his shoulder. A figure stepped near him and he instantly struck down, not sparing them a glance. They fell like a sack behind him. You hoped he didn’t hear the body fall; he didn’t need to know, but a canon sounded off to let him know what he did.

Our eyes met; relief filled his pupils. You started to smile when you spotted a person behind him, drawing a bow, arrow in place to shoot him straight through the head. You swung your hand forward, he ducked, letting it fly cleanly over him and stick into the head of the shooter. It made a dull thunk sound and the body fell into the sand, instantly lost to the chaos. A canon sounded clear in the air.

You’d lost a knife, goddamnit, you had begun to think. Wait, you just. You just killed someone. Oh god, oh dear god. You froze, your mouth agape in a useless and silent apology. You just ended someone’s life.

Levi sped past you, grabbing onto your hand and pulling you with him. You two ran through the lines of buildings, twisting and turning around corners to lose anyone that might have seen you, sticking the walls to blend in as much as possible. You two breathed harshly from the heat, running and pure shock. You had no time to stop and calm down.

You had already been running for five minutes when you realised the person you killed was Sasha.

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