#*insert kylo ren meme*

[honnelander]

I had a super cute Taz dream.

For context, I blush easily, and my cheeks are normally rosey but go bright red at the smallest attention. I could be talking to my closest friend about the weather, and if they look at me a certain way or I make eye contact *red cheek power activate* 😳

Anyway, in the dream, Taz and I were laughing and chatting. Before he noticed my cheeks go red at something, he said that wasn't meant to be flirty, but it came across that way. (Sadly can't remember what was said) We laughed about it, made lil flirty comments back and forth, before he said my blushing was cute. To which we made long eye contact, and I hid behind a piece of paper. He laughed every time I peeked from behind it, smirking or making faces at me to make me laugh and feel less self-conscious. 🥺

(I'm jealous of dream me 😮‍💨)

UM- THIS IS CUTE AS HECK??!! 😭 and you know what, i am the saaame way lmao I blush at anything and I hate attention (i hate it and it’s embarrassing but 🫠🤷🏼‍♀️)

i know that was a dream and all, but I can just totally see it happening in real life 😭😭😭

I think we ALL are so jealous of dream you omg 😭 please dream up of part 2 tonight and report back thank you 🫡

[saikokirakira]

We're Not Married Yet [Jake Lockley x Reader]

word count: 2.5k

summary: you received nothing but radio silence from your partners for months. one day, jake comes home and calls you by an unknowingly offensive endearment. your insecurity acts up, and jake won't give up control until he fixes it.

a/n: more ANGST. MORE! *insert kylo ren meme* don't worry though. it's just miscommunication. also, it's time for our boy jake to shine and show his simpery. and the thought of this fic came from listening to "porque" by maldita and also finding out that querida is an endearment in spanish. in filipino, it means the complete opposite opposite – a married man's lover/mistress.

warnings: can be standalone; ANGST with fluff ending; hurt and comfort; separation anxiety/fear of abandonment; miscommunication/language barrier; insecurity in a poly-relationship (hinting at my wife layla in the loop as well); jake lockley is a simp and kinda romantically intense; use of chavacano (spanish-creole filipino language) by a non-speaker (so idk how it would translate for jake who is fluent in spanish) (just assume he does understand it lol)

It has been months. Months since Marc woke up and said Khonshu needed him somewhere. He and the god insisted that you stay home after a little mishap got you seriously injured from the last mission. You didn’t argue.

You just wished that there wasn’t any radio silence between you and them. When the first week passed, you managed to find out that they were with Layla, but neither of them bothered to call. They just left you to be the goldfish sitter. Not that you minded that much at first. You knew that Marc was still bothered over the fact that he accidentally killed Real Gus.

During the first month, you thought you were going crazy. You stopped by every day at Steven’s flat to feed the Gus-es and check his tank. Then you’d make yourself some tea and call out, “Do you want one, Steven?” before realizing that you were alone.

Halfway through the third month, you somewhat grew accustomed to the routine. Sometimes, you would spend the night at his flat, not because it was easier – it was harder actually – but because you were afraid that you might forget them. It was a silly thing to worry about, but you didn’t want to be so used by their absence that the feelings would just go away.

You used to have a whole speech on what to yell at them the moment one of them steps through that door, but now… you weren’t quite sure what to say. You’d be lucky if you’d get a word out as a matter of fact. Maybe you could get a slap in.

They came back on the last week of the fourth month.

You just finished cleaning the two Gus’ filter, which probably took longer than you should have. You felt like you were running slow when you woke up that morning. Putting on music on the speakers, you had planned to make a quick sandwich for lunch then curl back in bed.

Bakit sa’yo pa nagkagusto? // Why did I like you out of everyone else?

Parang bula ika’y naglaho // Like a bubble, you disappeared

Between the heavy daze in your mind and the music crooning all over the flat, you didn’t notice at all that the front door swung open. You had your back to him when Jake silently set his newsboy cap and leather gloves on the side. He was very careful that you weren’t holding anything that would injure you or him when he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.

As expected, you stiffened and immediately relaxed when you recognized that scent. You hated how you still know it too well. The flat had been long cleared of any of their scent after the first month, and you cried about it for a whole night once.

But now, you weren’t sure what to feel. Like you expected, you wouldn’t muster any words. You couldn’t even distinguish the emotions bubbling in the pit of your stomach. Anger, relief, sadness, happiness?

Instead, all you said was “Jake?”

He merely hummed then buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing you in after months away. He didn’t want to let you go, even when you tried to move so you can turn to face him. He immediately felt months’ worth of tension leave his body. That and the soft music playing in the background started to make him aware of his fatigue.

“Let’s go to bed, hm?” you offered, catching the slight tired slump of his shoulders.

Jake hummed in acknowledgement again, but instead of walking normally, his hands moved from your waist to threading your fingers together, swaying you through the music across the apartment. Jake held you close to him as you both continued to sway in the free space near the foot of Steven’s bed. He didn’t understand a word of what the song meant, that is, until the chorus played again.

Bien simple lang I yo tapidi // What I ask is simple

Era cin ti tu el cosa yo ya cin ti // I hope you feel my sorrow

Jake still didn’t understand it completely, but fragments of the lyrics, chosen few of the words, he caught and interpreted the gist of it. He stopped moving and tucked his finger under your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Is that how you feel, querida?” he asked.

Jake didn’t miss how your eye twitched at the nickname.

You tried to not to let it bother you. You really did. It’s his endearment for you. Jake rarely fronted, and when he did, he was incredibly loving towards you. There was no reason to take offense on what he calls you.

Hiding your discomfort, you buried your face in his chest and continued to sway. “It’s just a song, Jake,” you said. “My playlist is on shuffle.”

Na dimio rezo ta pidi yo // In my prayers, I ask

Era olvida yo contigo // I hope I forget you

“Well, I don’t like it,” Jake said bluntly with a plump pout on his lip. He stopped dancing once again and walked to turn off the speaker. “Let’s go to bed, querida.”

Again, Jake saw you relent but not only after you exhaled in a self-soothing manner. He pulled you under the covers, and you fell asleep within a few minutes. You seemed tired, emotionally drained to the point that you’d sleep to avoid them, and even though Jake was exhausted as well, his worry for you now kept him up.

I told you we were gone too long. Can she no longer stand endearments? Steven piped in their head. Let me have control. I want to talk to her.

“I’ll fix it,” Jake assured him, cutting himself silent when you stirred. He tucked you deeper into the covers and watched the furrow between your brows relax.

Jake will fix it. He always did. That’s why he’s fronting now when the others couldn’t even forcibly take control. Something was wrong.

~

When you woke up a few hours in the late afternoon, you were still tangled up in your boyfriend’s arms. You couldn’t tell who would be out once he woke up, but you were sure that if it were either Marc or Jake, they’d wake up as soon as you sit up in bed. Your thoughts were answered when the grip around your waist tightened when you tried to slither off to the corner of the bed.

“Marc?”

An agitated huff told you that you were mistaken. The sleepy daze immediately wore off. If he was still fronting, something might be wrong. “Is everything okay, Jake?”

“I don’t know, querida. Is there?”

At his pointed question, you immediately closed up. “You’re the one who disappeared for months without contacting me,” you shot back. “I’m surprised you didn’t mail me divorce papers as well.”

“We’re not married yet, querida.”

You scoffed and got out of bed, stomping your way to the kitchen. You took the tea tin and took a bag, then slamming the cabinet shut. It was only until you were filling up the kettle on the faucet did you realise your hands were shaking and tears were dripping on your outstretched arms.

Well, done, Fabio. You really did so well. Marc snarked at Jake from the mirror in front of their bed. Let me out.

“No.”

Let me out! Marc demanded.

Let him out, Jake. Steven pleaded. She needs—

“What? You? Us? Who exactly? We left. Everything will be exactly the same if either of you comes out.”

From the kitchen, you peered at Jake arguing with Marc and Steven from the mirror. There was no doubt they all were concerned now from your outburst. You didn’t even know why you were upset.

Well, you were, are, upset that they disappeared like ghosts for months. What you didn’t understand was why Jake’s endearment bothered you even more. It was an endearment. It’s not like he knew your language that well to deliberately calling you negative names.

Jake was cursing up a fury at the mirror when you silently sat on the spot beside him at the edge of the bed. He immediately stopped staring at his reflection to look at you. Really look at you. That’s one thing you loved about Jake. His gaze made you feel like you were the only thing that mattered to him. More than Khonshu. More than…

You shook the thought from your head. It was absurd to be jealous of your lovers that way. It wasn’t fair to you nor was it fair to them.

“Talk to me,” you said, grasping his hand in between yours.

“You didn’t deserve it. I know you deserve better, but I want you, cariño. You’re all I’ve wanted. I will always come back to you.”

In the background, you heard the electric kettle click itself off, but you were more focused on Jake baring his feelings for you. He was barely around for as long as you knew Marc and Steven, but he had never failed in being sincere with how he felt for you. “I’m sorry,” you sobbed.

Jake’s face fell, and if you could only see what he saw, Marc lowered his eyes in the mirror, while Steven retreated back in the recesses of their mind. Even Khonshu was eerily silent and nowhere to be found, which was odd enough as it is. The god was fond of you in his own way that he kept a safe distance hovering nearby.

“Don’t be,” you said. “I know what I signed up for when I decided to be with an Avatar.” You let out a weak chuckle at the unintentional reference. “Steven would’ve loved that one.”

“Do you wish to talk with him instead, cariño?”

You didn’t miss the hurt that seeped through Jake’s words. You barely spent time with him, and you knew him the shortest. You shook your head and cupped your hands over his cheeks, tilting his head to face you.

The same furrowed brow wrinkled his forehead again, and if it wasn’t for the stiffness in his eyes, the conflicted look behind those brown orbs would’ve easily misled you to think he was Marc. Jake’s hard expression was easily remedied when you pressed a soft kiss on his forehead. The hurt and fear were now exposed, and you had to come clean with your own issues.

“I’m not mad that you left for months,” you said and immediately caught yourself at Jake’s pointed look. “Okay, yes, I was mad, but only during the first month, especially when I found out that you took Layla with you.”

“It wasn’t all us, love.” Steven snuck out for a moment. “But she was also worried that it was too early for you to take this mission on.” His eyes rolled back, and Jake was back, annoyed from those few seconds of being interrupted.

“Sometimes…” you took a deep breath, finding the right words to say, “I feel like I’m just a liability to you guys, you and Layla.”

This time it was Marc who took the wheel. “You can easily put us on our asses, baby,” he laughed softly, trying to lighten your mood. “Sure, we’d put up a fight, but your powers are kinda scary sometimes.”

Your hands pressed against Marc’s chest before gripping his jacket in tight fists as if you were scared that he’d vanish after your next words. “That’s not what I mean, Marc.”

When the realization dawned on his face, Marc immediately cupped your face. “Why on earth would you even think that?” he asked, hurt from your words and from how you felt. “I mean, you were dating Steven when he had no idea of Layla and my existence, and we were even on the verge of divorce by then.” He continued, “and Jake… Well, I think Jake only likes you. That ass only shows up when one of us are dying or when it comes to you.

“And Layla adores you. Otherwise, she didn’t finish our job for us just so we can come back to you,” he added. Swallowing whatever weight that clogged his throat, he finally said, “You’re a part of this crazy relationship whether you like it or not.” Realizing what he accidentally implied, he softly asked, “If… if you were to leave…” He trailed off, his voice ending in a shuddering breath. His shoulder tensed for a split second, and he was gone, overwhelmed from his own fears.

“We will marry you in a heartbeat,” Jake said, grasping your hand. “If that meant you would never leave us.” That wide-eyed gaze he pointed at you showed that he was frighteningly sincere.

But it was quickly cut off with Steven nervously chuckling. “If you would have us, love,” he said. “Of course, consent is key. No need to be psycho about it,” he shot a pointed glance at the mirror.

You exhaled, feeling all the tension and issues wafting away from a single breath. “One thing though,” you stated.

“What is it, querida?” Jake returned, and this time, he finally noticed the twitch in your eye from the endearment he gave you.

“Two things I hate though,” you corrected yourself through gritted teeth. “Call me anything but that word, and propose to me properly. And we won’t have any problems.”

Jake would never admit it but the coldness in your voice and suddenly shifting to a sweet smile after you listed your terms made the hairs on his arms stand a bit.

Later that evening, Jake discreetly looked up what ‘the forbidden endearment’ meant on Steven’s phone. He sucked in a sharp breath at his massive mistake, and a pit formed in his stomach when it sank that he had been accidentally feeding your insecurity all this time. He immediately rushed over to you on the stove and pulled you into his arms.

“Jake! What the—” Unable to pull yourself out of his embrace, you barely managed to reach for the stove and turn the heat to low before you accidentally burn down his flat. “Now barely seems like the time to—”

“You’re the only one for me. I revere you. I fear you. I worship you. Cariño, mi vida, mi corazón​…”

You laughed in the midst of your confusion while Jake pulled you in for a tight hug. “What brought this on?” Your eyes landed on Steven’s phone at the kitchen counter with the latest search page still on display. A more genuine smile tugged at your lips as you buried your face into his chest, embracing his warmth.

“Also, I’m marrying Layla first.”

SMACK!

You barely registered the sting on your bottom when you were pushed away. Steven’s wide-eyed puppy eyes gazed at you in horror. His mouth hung open in surprise as he raised his hands in innocence.

“It wasn’t me. I swear!” Steven cried out. Then he paused, glancing off somewhere. “Jake says he’ll be back once he gets a ring before Layla comes home next week.”

[ahhrenata]

me, explaining

[demonboyhalo]

Ranboo, after a 10 minute analysis on how the protagonist became the very villain he was fighting against, only being betrayed because that was what was destined to happen: i gotta write lore now, see ya :)

[letterful]

struck by a very sudden but a very intense desire to re-read crime and punishment

[ofmermaidstories]

THE NEW CHAPTER!!!!! I AM LIVING BUT ALSO DYING!!

this was me, writing it:

[star-killer-md]

#35! (maybe nsfw?)

A/N: This is by no means my first nsfw, but I still don’t think I’ve really got the hang of it. Let me know what y’all think! Anyway, this was great practice and once again the reader is gender neutral. I hope you like really sentimentally charged blow jobs. 

Kylo’s hand in your hair forces your head down onto his cock. You choke and gag, but do your best not to pull away. 

He’s moaning softly above you and the sound is maddening. You want to pull more from him, want to crack your way through his mask and see his handsome face twist in unbridled pleasure. You take him deeper—flick your tongue over the sensitive tip and hollow your cheeks—humming intently when he whines your name. 

“Gods,” he gasps, “filthy aren’t you?” 

You know he’s right, know exactly how you must look kneeling between his legs, his cock dipping past your lips and down your throat, spit dripping down your chin and onto your bare breasts. 

But Kylo is fairing no better. 

You flick your eyes up to meet his gaze and a rush of warmth runs through you. His chest is splotched in red, the blush spreading over his cheeks and the tips of his ears. His mouth open, mid-groan and his brows pinched as he climbs to his peak. 

He’s beautiful like this, you think. And stars, you want more. Want to break him. Want to watch him fall apart. 

You increase your pace, urge him to cum on your tongue, to mark you. His hips buck up sporadically, forcing your nose into the patch of dark hair at the base of his cock. You breath him in willingly, savoring the musky smell of it: fresh and dark and so human. 

He’s close and you know it, can feel it in the way he pulses between your lips and how his thighs tremble against your neck. A plethora of words tumble from his lovely, plush lips. Curses in tongues you don’t understand, but your can hear your name scattered among them. Can tell he’s trying not to beg you to take him deeper, to take him harder, to give him more. 

A hand falls to your shoulder, squeezing and clawing at the flesh there before you take it in your own. He lets you intertwine your fingers, holding on as his orgasm crashes over him. 

Kylo nearly screams—nearly sobs—shooting hot streams of cum so far down your throat you can't even taste it. You work him through it, bobbing your head and milking him for as long as you can until he shakes, raw with oversensitivity. His deep brown eyes are blown wide with lust and satisfaction as he watches you swallow down everything he has to give. 

When he pulls you off, the wet pop echoes through the throne room, leaving a vacuum for the silence that follows. For a moment, the only sounds are your combined breathing, panting and heavy and sated. You fall back on your heels, taking him in: legs spread wide, admittedly massive dick lying soft against his muscular thigh, skin coated in a sheen of sweat and tinged beautifully pink. 

Filthy, you think, and magnificent. 

As you commit the scene to memory—too use for your own private fantasies—some strange, unexplainable warmth settles deep in the pit of your stomach. It rolls between your ribs and makes your face feel hot. You can’t name the sensation now, so you tuck it away, content to simply let your ego swell as you take in Kylo Ren’s thoroughly debauched visage. 

You feel his hand still fisted in your hair loosens its grip and fall to your cheek. The tenderness of the gesture makes you stall, makes you swell, makes you ache. 

And you lean into it. 

You nuzzle softly into his palm, leaving a small kiss on the calloused skin in the center. 

[explodingpringlescans]

Hot take: Adam Taurus and Kylo Ren are the same character. The difference is that Kylo's writers actually care about him.

[solid-for-snake]

Ya’ll I stg saw this and thought this dude had the worlds smallest torso

[porgsandewoks]

mood: adam driver looking like he’s about to fall asleep at the press con 

[amazingmsme]

More ticklish Pierre headcanons please! The sad man needs it and he's adorable!

*insert the meme of Kylo Ren screaming "more" here*

Sure thing! Before I start on them I just want to check, do you mean Pierre from Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812? Cause that’s one only one I can think of lol

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

I know this isn’t Star Wars related, but I started rewatching Attack on Titan recently and the memories of the Levi x Eren ship started fueling my hatred for it because of Eren being 14/15 and Levi being like 30

And everyone just thought this ship was normal and not at all weird or gross in anyway

I was 14 and running a hate blog on the ship because I dealt with /stuff/ happening to me by someone who was in their 30’s and I loved the show and wanted to love the fandom but I kept getting triggered by the ship and thinking that people would just think that a 14/15 ye old hooking up with a 30 yr old is normal

And I just had to get that off my chest to someone who hasn’t posted spoiler of the show, because I stopped watching around season 4

But since we’re on the subjects of ships, are there any ships that you just..... hate with a burning passion?

I’ve only ever watched the first three episodes of Attack on Titan, but let me just say, from the bottom of my heart: gross.

Seriously, people in fandom can just be really fucking gross and I can completely understand getting triggered.  That being said, I’m glad you’re (hopefully) not running a hate blog any more. 

It couldn’t have been good for you, and while I can understand the impulse to want to make your hatred known and vent your frustrations, stewing in something that gives you negative feelings doesn’t help in the long run.  Better to block and not engage, especially when it comes to fandom stuff.  People who ship characters together aren’t being logical, no matter what the ship is.  Some people who ship characters can be more reasonable, but it’s more of a person to person situation.

As for ships that I hate with a burning passion, I’ve made no secret for my utter and complete hatred of Reylo.

The ship and shippers by extension actively destroyed what could have been an interesting trilogy of films be deciding to emphasis the neo-nazi over the ACTUAL SECOND PROTAGONIST Finn.

I can go on a rant for days about how Dramione is a really toxic ship, and people who ship them are just using Hermione as a self-insert character and should just make cringe OCs like the rest of us.  But even something like that didn’t actually hurt the media the fanfiction was taken from.  Reylos with their racists accusations towards John Boyega and their vocal insistence on Kylo Ren’s redemption, influenced the trajectory of the film, not helped by having such a shit writer like Abrams pen the last movie with his Mancrush Monday on Adam Driver.

I just...there is a reason I’ve blocked the Reylo tag.

I could make a big hate blog about Reylo and fill it for days with analysis and memes, but I won’t.  I don’t have time for it and it’s frankly exhausting.  So, I’m going to ignore it and stay in the part of fandom that makes me happy.  At a certain point, it’s the only thing you can do and still stay sane.

[funnynewsheadlines]

Super Sarcastic Online Community Posts Crappy Movie Details (170 Pics)

Ah, movie details. We all have a favorite film or two and we just love sharing with our friends all the details hidden throughout them, to show off that we’re real fans. But what about less-than-hidden, in-your-face, really-really-bad movie details?

Well, there’s an entire Reddit community that’s dedicated to sharing those—the worst, most boring, and crappiest movie details ever. And it’s all for the sake of having a laugh.

These redditors are great at using irony and there’s so much sarcasm and humor on the subreddit, it’s hard to stay afloat sometimes. Scroll down for the crappiest movie details and Bored Panda's interview with one of the subreddit's moderators, upvote the best (worst?) posts, and let us know if you have any similar details to share about your fave films, Pandas.

#1 In Pixar’s Up (2009) Carl And Ellie Break Into Their Paradise Falls Savings Jar In Order To Pay For Carl’s Hospital Bill, This Is Actually A Clever Reference To The Fact That The American Healthcare System Is Literal Garbage.

Image credits: ShaquilleOatmeal33

#2 In Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017), Dwayne Johnson's Avatar Did Not Have The Power To Read The Map. This Is Because Paper Beats Rock.

Image credits: skyfall91404

#3 Actors In Black And White Movies Were Often Putting Their Lives In Danger During Driving Scenes, As They Weren't Able To Tell If The Traffic Light Was Red Or Green.

Image credits: tommystjohnny

Redditor Merari01, one of the subreddit's moderators, told Bored Panda that their top mod "saw an opening in the market" and started up the community in 2017.

"People on reddit love making silly jokes and puns. There's lots of in-jokes and running gags and that makes a good breeding ground for playfully memeing in the context of movies," sub mod Merari01 explained why the sub is as successful as it is. They referenced this post as a great example of the community's playfulness.

The mod also revealed that plenty of internet users get mixed up "all the time," don't notice the sarcasm, and think that the posts on the sub are 100% serious. "It's part of the fun," they said.

#4 During The Filming Of Jurassic Park (1993), T-Rex Was Known To Sweat Profusely As It Was His First Major Role In 55 Million Years.

Image credits: fletchDigital

#5 The Lion King (1994) Correctly Predicted The Entire Plot For The Lion King (2019)

Image credits: bobbytabl3s

#6 In Independence Day (1996) The Dog Boomer Survives, Which Makes Him An Ok Boomer

Image credits: Zaptagious

The subreddit was founded just over 3 years ago in July 2017 and it’s still going strong. Since then, the community has grown to over 511k members who eagerly wait for the newest posts that might just make any movie buffs giggle as they hide their faces.

Crappy movie details are one thing, but crappy movies are something altogether different. So, what makes a bad movie, well, bad?

Movies that perform well at the box office, get roaring reviews from critics, and top IMDb lists for the ‘Top 10 [Insert Favorite Genre] Movies of the Year’ don’t automatically make them good. Successful? Sure. Popular? Definitely! Good? It depends.

#7 In Game Of Thrones Season 8, Daenerys’ Last Words Are “We Break The Wheel Together” Which Spelled Backwards Says “Rehtegot Leehw Eht Kaerb Ew” Which Doesn’t Make Sense Just Like The Rest Of Season 8.

Image credits: ostlert

#8 In The Harry Potter Film Series, The Titles All Include “Harry Potter” This Is A Subtle Nod To The Name Of Harry Potter The Main Character Of The Series.

Image credits: xDhezz

#9 In Star Wars Episode 9, Kylo Ren Receives A Trumpet From ...black Widow? Wait What

Image credits: DumplingBoiii

A small budget and an overly ambitious narrative can wreck a movie even if the director’s intentions were good. Newsweek points out the obvious fact that bad movies have terrible acting. Whether its newbie actors paying their dues or professional stars off their game during a new project, stilted and cringeworthy acting won’t win any praises from the crowd.

Unless they’re going for a ‘so bad it’s good’ sorta vibe. In fact, we tend to love bad movies like ‘The Room’ and ‘Sharknado’ because they make us feel just like film critics.

“These films are humorous because they are incredulously awful and you can’t believe that anyone could produce something that bad and think it’s OK. The other thing is it gives you a sense of superiority and a sense of mastery and competence because if you can recognize why it’s bad, you have expertise in this area of film consumption. It makes you feel like an expert film critic,” Salford senior lecturer in psychology Dr. Adam Galpin told New Statesman.

#10 In Avengers Endgame, Fat Thor Is The Butt Of Many Jokes, This Is Because Marvel Thinks Survivor’s Guilt And Ptsd Are Funny Subjects.

Image credits: JoelTLoUisBadass

#11 In Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) Rami Malek Was Wearing Fake Teeth Because Letting Him Wear Freddie Mercury's Real Teeth Would Have Been Unethical And Really Messed Up

Image credits: Ffailix

#12 In Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End (2007), Captain Jack Sparrow Attempts To Pull The Black Pearl All By Himself. This Is Symbolic Of Johnny Depp Carrying The Whole Weight Of The Franchise On His Shoulders, And Was Worn Out By The Time Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) Went Into Production.

Image credits: i-got-a-jar-of-rum

#13 The Dark Knight (2008): Despite Being A Murderous Maniac With No Regard For Human Life, The Joker Still Takes Special Precautions To Wear A Mask Around The Vulnerable. This Is Because He Is Not A Fu**ing Idiot

Image credits: Rickmundo

#14 In The Sonic The Hedgehog Movie Trailer You Can See 22 Coins Instead Of Stars In The Paramount Logo. This Is A Subtle Nod To The Fact That This Movie Will Make 22 USD At The Box Office.

Image credits: andresrinky

#15 Action ?

Image credits: ShitFilmDetails

#16 In The Matrix, A Kid Tells Neo He Has To Realize “There Is No Spoon”. However, If You Look Closely You Can Notice There Is A Spoon In The Scene

Image credits: Haleyisabitch

#17 In Breaking Bad (2008-2013) Walt Jr. Has Trouble Hitting The Brakes. He Is Braking Bad

Image credits: StatusBrowser

#18 The Film 1917, Filmed In 2019, Is Claimed To Have Been A One-Shot Movie. This Is Impossible, As There Were Way Too Many Guns Fired.

Image credits: refusalskills

#19 In The Great Dictator (1940), Charlie Chaplin Used Two "X" Instead Of Swastika To Avoid Getting Demonetize On Youtube

Image credits: Gino1337

#20 In 127 Hours (2010) James Franco Is Seen Cutting Off His Arm To Free Himself From A Boulder Although In Real Life James Kept His Arm, This Is Because James Franco Is A Coward Who Can't Commit To A Roll

Image credits: JayMan505

#21 In Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker, "Dark Rey" Hisses At Rey And Her Teeth Turn Into Fangs. I Wish I Was Joking, But This Actually Happens In The Movie.

Image credits: imgur.com

#22 In Iron Man (2008), Iron Man Is Green Because I Am Colorblind.

Image credits: skyfall91404

#23 In The Force Awakens, Adam 'Driver' Kills Harrison 'Ford'. This Is A Reference To The Fact I Crashed My Dads Focus.

Image credits: Awlatif10

#24 In Game Of Thrones, S8e4, You Can Clearly See A Starbucks Cup In One Scene. This Is A Subtle Nod To How The Show Runners Literally Don’t Give A Fu*k Anymore.

Image credits: Cleverly_Clearly

#25 In The Batman Trilogy, There Were No Crows. This Is Because Dr Crane Did A Good Job As A Scarecrow.

Image credits: Ramlal_

#26 In The Dark Knight(2008) Joker Burns A Pile Of Cash, Which Is Illegal In The Us. This Little Detail Implies That Joker Might Be A Bad Person.

Image credits: Bonfire-GTK

#27 In Avengers: Endgame, Rhodes Admits To Nebula He “Wasn’t Always Like This”, Which Is True.

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#28 In The Movie Up (2009), Russell Has A Round Appearance. This Is Because He Is Obese.

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#29 In Men In Black (1997), Will Smith Points To The Flashlight To Signify... Sh*t I Forget Why

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#30 In Spectre (2015), James Bond Says “I Won’t Be Long.” This Is Correct, As Bond Remains At A Normal Size Throughout The Film.

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#31 Mulan (2020) Is Currently Having A Difficult Time Getting Positive Reviews. This Is Due The Movie Not Getting Any Reviews, As It Is Not Out Yet.

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#32 In Doctor Strange (2016), Doctor Strange Can Be Seen Defeating His Enemy, An Apple. This Is Because An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away.

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#33 The Sandcrawler At The End Of The Rise Of Skywalker(2019) Was Actually Filmed By A Giant

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#34 In Cars (2006) Lightning Mcqueen Shows His Dishonesty Early In The Film When He States "I Am Speed" When Actually He Is In Fact, A Car.

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#35 In Shaun Of The Dead (2004), The Entire Movie Is In Hindi. This Is Because I Pirated It And Downloaded The Wrong Torrent.

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#36 During The Final Scene From The Dark Knight Rises, Alfred Is Seen Tilting His Head Forward Slightly, And Then Tilting His Head Back To Its Original Position. This Is A Nod

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#37 Hanks For All The Laughs!

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#38 Joaquin Phoenix Chose This Outfit Himself For This Scene To Pay Homage To His All Time Favourite Movie Star; Mclovin

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#39 Despite His Name, Actor Adam Driver Was Not Consider For A Role In Baby Driver (2017). This Is Because He Was 33 When The Film Came Out, Meaning He Was An Adult Driver.

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#40 In The Movie Pulp Fiction, The Glowing Object In The Briefcase Is Actually Tarantino's N-Word Pass That He Received From Samuel L. Jackson On Set.

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#41 This Is The Suicide Squad (2016). Notice How Jeffery Epstein Isn’t Part Of The Group.

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#42 In Avengers: Endgame (2019), Thanos Says "I Am Inevitable". This Is A Mistake From The Filmmakers Because He Is Actually Thanos.

Image credits: RayInRed

#43 In Joker (2019), Nobody Laughs At Arthur’s Jokes. This Is Because He Never Says ‘Bazinga’ So The Audience Knows When To Laugh.

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#44 In Marriage Story (2019) Adam Driver Immediately Begins Crying After He Tells Scarlett Johansson That He Wishes She Was Dead. This Is Because He Realized That He Spoiled Avengers Endgame.

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#45 In Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Captain America Attempts To Choke Ultron. This Is Because He Is From The 1930s And Doesn’t Understand What A Robot Is.

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#46 The Devil Is In The Details

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#47 In World War Z (2013) Israel Welcomes Palestinians To Their Country, This Is Why The Movie Is Classified As Fiction.

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#48 In Spiderman Far From Home, Peter Likes Mj. Possibly Suggesting That He Is Heterosexual.

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#49 To Prepare For His Role In Black Panther (2018) Michael B Jordan Was Bitten By Over 100 Mosquitoes

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#50 In Taylor Swift’s 2015 Song “Blank Space” She Says, “I’ll Be The Actress Starring In Your Bad Dreams.” This Is Foreshadowing To Her Role In Cats (2019), Which Will Give All Its Viewers Nightmares

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#51 In Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), There Is A Scene Where- Oh Fu*k My Contact Lense Fell Out S*it I Can’t Fu**ing See Anything

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#52 In The Beginning Of Joker (2019) There’s A Familiar Face In The Mirror.

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#53 In James Cameron’s Titanic (1997), Rather Than Ending The Movie With The Ship Sinking And Everyone Freezing To Death, The Film Ends Romantically, With Jack Painting Rose Naked. This Is A Reference To The Fact That My Mom Made Me Shut The Movie Off After Kate Winslet Shows Her Boobies On Screen.

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#54 Nick Fury's Name Has Only One Eye In It.

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#55 In The Movie The Martian (2015) The Main Character Says "I'm Going To Survive", Within The First 10 Minutes. This Foreshadows That The Main Character Does Infact Survive And He Spoils The Movie For The Viewers. Fu*k You Matt Damon You Spoiling Bit*h

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#56 In The Force Awakens (2015), The Stormtroopers Look Very Cool, I Think. That Is All.

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#57 In Spider-Man (2002), Uncle Ben Tells Peter That He’ll Drive Him To The Library. This Is Foreshadowing For The Very Next Scene, In Which Uncle Ben Drives Peter To The Library.

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#58 Most Of The Mars Scenes In 'The Martian' (2015) Were Actually Filmed On Earth

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#59 My Biologist Friend Went Nuts During Avengers : Infinity War (2018)

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#60 In Interstellar (2014), The Main Character Tries To Find A New Home For The Younger Generation. This Is A Reference To The Fact That This Movie Is Science-Fiction, Because In Real Life, Boomers Don't Actually Give A Sh*t About Younger People.

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#61 Much To My Dismay, Aquaman (2018) Is Not A Sequel To The Waterboy (1998).

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#62 The Winter Soldier Gets His Name From The Red Star On His Arm, Which Symbolizes Christmas, A Winter Holiday

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#63 In Star Wars A New Hope, Obi Wan Says, “You’ll Never Find A More Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy.” This Is A Reference To The Star Wars Fanbase.

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#64 The 2013 Version Of The Great Gatsby Has Some Anachronistic Elements, For Example, Neither Toby Maguire Nor Leonardo Dicaprio Were Alive In The 1920s

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#65 In Joker (2019), They Only Had One Prop Clock. They Didn't Bother Changing The Time On It For Different Scenes.

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#66 In Return Of The Jedi (1983) Obi Wan Tells Luke That He Has A Sister, And Luke Correctly Guesses It’s Leia. This Is Because There’s No Other Women In The Original Trilogy So It Was An Easy Guess.

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#67 In Avengers:endgame (2019) Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) Can Be Seen Wearing Red And Embracing Spiderman(Tom Holland).this Is A Reference To A Picture My Mom Took Of Me And My Brother When We Were Kids.

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#68 In Avengers: Engame (2019), Loki Is Depicted Wearing A Facemask Over His Mouth, But Not His Nose, Rendering It Ineffective In Fighting The Spread Of Covid-19. This Demonstrates, Without A Doubt, That Loki Is A "Bad Guy", Because People Who Do This In Real Life Are Bad Guys.

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#69 In The TV-Show The Simpsons, Bart Constantly Pushes Moe Szyslak Into Near-Violent Rage. This Is Because Moe Is A Bart Ender.

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#70 In Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Avengers Tower Is Marked With A Large “A”. This Could Possibly Stand For “Avengers”.

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#71 In The Film “Suicide Squad”(2016) Deadshot Played By Will Smith Proclaims “So That’s It Huh, We’re Some Kind Of Suicide Squad?” This Is A Subtle Nod That They Are In Fact Some Kind Of Suicide Squad In The Movie “Suicide Squad”

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#72 Mmmm I'm So Hungry

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#73 In Dark Phoenix (2019), It's Explained That Quicksilver Doesn't Actually Move Fast, But Rather Slows Down Time Around Him. What I Just Said Might Be True, Might Not. You Wouldn't Know, You Didn't Watch The Movie. Neither Did I.

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#74 In The Rise Of Skywalker (2019), Darth Vader's Destroyed Mask Is Frequently Displayed. This Is A Nod To Disney Destroying Darth Vader's Character Arc.

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#75 This Explanatory Scene Was Cut From Batman Begins, After Complaints From Michael Bay That It Contained Too Few Explosions.

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#76 In Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), There Is A Character Called The Doof Warrior That Rides A Van Made Out Of Amps While Playing An Electric Guitar That Shoots Fire. I Don’t Have Anything Else To Add But Remember That S*it? That Movie Fu**in Ruled, Let’s Watch It

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#77 In The Toy Story Movies, Andy's Mom Never Remarries. This Is A Subtle Nod To How Andy And His Mom Were Better Off Without A Stepdad, Just Like How My Mom And I Are Better Off Without Trevor. Stop Dating My Mom Trevor You Stupid Di*k.

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#78 In Robocop (1987) Robocop Kills Numerous People Even Though Asimov's Laws Of Robotics Should Prevent A Robot From Harming Humans. This Is A Reference To The Fact That Laws Don't Actually Apply To Cops.

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#79 In The Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne Goes On A Lengthy Murder Spree. This Is A Subtle Nod To The Fact I Bought The Wrong Christian Bale Film

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#80 Despite Being Called “The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas” The Boy Actually Never Wears Pyjamas, But Instead A Prison Uniform.

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#81 Don’t Take Business Advice From A Disney Movie

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#82 A Plothole In The Godfather Part 2 (1974) Is That The Statue Of Liberty Can Be Seen In The 1910’s Even Though It Didn’t Come To America Till..... Nevermind I Was Wrong. Just Googled It And It Arrived In 1885. My Bad Guys

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#83 In Hamilton (2020), After The Reynolds Pamphlet Is Published, The Song 'Never Gonna Be President Now' Is Sung. This Is A Reference To The Fact That Being Involved In A Sex Scandal Used To Mean That You Would Not Elected President.

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#84 In Skyscraper (2018), The Rock Says, "I Won't Ever Forget This." This Is Actually A Lie Because Everybody Forgot About This Movie

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#85 There Goes The Planet.

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#86 In The Season 3 Of Friends, David Schwimmer Is Seen Inside The Fountain. That's A Direct Reference To His Name Because He Is Schwimming Inside That Fountain.

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#87 In The Movie Joker (2019), You Can See Arthur Sitting In Front Of A Mirror Shedding A Single Tear While Applying Make Up. This Is Because He Had Just Been Forbidden By The Director To Write The Word 'Damaged' On His Forehead.

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#88 J.k Rowling Confirmed This

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#89 In The Movie Shazam! (2019) We Can See That The Movie Bares A Striking Resemblance To The Movie Pet Cemetery (2019). This Is A Subtle Nod To The Fact That I Entered The Wrong Theater.

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#90 In The Dark Knight (2008), Heath Ledger Accidentally Blew Up A Hospital. Nolan Then Wrote That Scene Into The Movie So The Police Wouldn’t Investigate Further

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#91 The Movie Contagion (2011) Has Often Been Depicted As A Realistic Movie. However, This Is Untrue As The Us Government - In The Film - Has Been Represented As Acting Proactively And Accordingly To The Pandemic Threat

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#92 Throughout The Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America Wears A Red, White And Blue Suit. This Shows That The Designers Of The Suits Are Idiots, As These Are The Colours Of The British Flag.

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#93 In Avengers Endgame: Ant Man Says That The Five Hours He Spent In The Quantum Realm Equated To Five Years In The Real World. This Is Subtle Reference To The Fact That Over The Last Five Years Paul Rudd Has Aged Five Hours.

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#94 The Only Two White Actors In Black Panther Are Martin Freeman, Who Played Bilbo Baggins, And Andy Serkis Who Played Gollum. They're The Tolkien White Guys.

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#95 In Spiderman (2002), Despite Popular Thinking, Peter Parker Is Not Spiderman, Because His Head Is Too Fuc**ing Big.

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#96 In The Film The Neverending Story (1984), If You Watch Closely At Around 1h45m You Can See That It Does Actually End.

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#97 During The Filming Of Attack Of The Clones, Natalie Portman And Hayden Christensen, In Their Scenes Together, Played A Prank On George Lucas By Pretending They Had Never Acted Before. Lucas Loved The Prank So Much, He Ended Up Using Most Of The Footage In The Final Cut.

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#98 In Birds Of Prey (2020) Thanos Shows Up And Kills Half The Universe. No-One Can Prove Me Wrong Because No-One Saw This Movie.

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#99 In Monsters, Inc. (2001), Monsters Come Out Of Doors Instead Of Closets Because They Are Not Gay.

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#100 When Terrence Howard Left, Marvel Wanted Robert Downey Jr. To Take Over The James Rhodes Role Based On His Performance In Tropic Thunder (2008). However, He Was Already Playing As Iron Man.

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#101 In John Wick 2 (2017) John Wick Never Gets Shot, Because In Real Life Keanu Reeves Can Dodge Bullets, As Evidenced By His Earlier Film, The Matrix (1999)

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#102 In Toy Story 3 (2010), Mr.potato Turns Himself Into A Pickle For A Brief Period Of Time, Which Is In Fact The Funniest Sh*t I’d Ever Seen.

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#103 The Phrase ‘Far From Home’ In The Movie, Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019), Is A Reference To The Fact That I Had To Drive 18 Mins To Get To The Nearest Theater Which Is The Furthest Away I’ve Been From My House In Nearly Five Years. I Don’t Get Out Much

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#104 In The Dark Knight (2008), Harvey Dent Makes Decisions Based On A Coin Flip, "Making His Own Luck." What Most Don't Realize Is That The Directors Of This Movie Had Already Determined The Result Each Time And The Coin Flip Wasn't Up To Chance.

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#105 In This Shot From The Call Of The Wild (2020) They Needed Harrison Ford Looking Dismayed, So They Showed Him Some Footage Of How Shi*ty The Dog Animation Was Going To End Up Looking.

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#106 In Order For X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) To Receive A Pg-13 Rating, 20th Century Fox Sewed Deadpool's Mouth Shut.

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#107 Avengers: Endgame Took Away One Widow To Give Us Another

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#108 In Frozen (2013) You Can See A Clear Example Of Anna Trying To Coax Elsa Out Of Quarantine. But Elsa Understands The Importance Of Staying In. Be Like Elsa.

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#109 In Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019) I Didn't Understand Why Palpatine Was Back, Not Because I Went To The Bathroom But Because The Movie Never Explains It.

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#110 In Blade Runner (1982), The 20th Of November 2019 Is Shown To Be A Particularly Rainy Day. This Is Subtle Foreshadowing Of The Fact That It Really Did Rain On The 20th Of November 2019.

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#111 In Contagion (2011), Gwyneth Paltrow Plays A Woman Who Dies After Trying Several Goop Products

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#112 While Filming The Hobbit (2012), Actor Martin Freeman Wore 4 Inch Heels To Reach The Height Of A Hobbit.

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#113 Spider-Man’s Costume Is Red And Blue, Because Peter Parker Has No Idea What Color Spiders Are.

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#114 In Avengers: Endgame, Tony Stark Was Able To Perfectly Flick Ant-Man Into The Tesseract Case Because He Had Been Practicing By Playing Paper Football With Nebula On The Benatar

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#115 In Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) Luke Decided To Force Project Himself To The Battle Of Crait Because At The Time He Was Practicing Social Distancing, Not Wanting To Catch The Coronavirus.

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#116 American History X (1998) Is The Only Movie Where They Don't Remove Ed Norton's Swatstica Tattoo.

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#117 In Harry Potter And The Philosophaurus’s Stones, We See That Harry Gets An Owl Named Hedwig Despite Having The Ability To Literally Talk To Snakes. This Is Due To The Fact That He Is A Stupid Idiot.

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#118 In Shazam, Superman Only Appears From The Neck Down As There Wasn’t Enough Money In The Budget To Digitally Remove His Mustache

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#119 In Skyfall (2012), Silva Wears A Police Outfit When Trying To Kill M. This Is To Ensure He Does Not Get Arrested For Murder.

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#120 At The End Of Despicable Me (2010), Vector Starts Dancing To Music That He Can't Hear. This Was The Animator's Way Of Depicting The Symptoms Of Hypoxia After The Studio Decided That Animating Vector Fucking Dying From Suffocation Was Too Dark For A Children's Movie.

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#121 For The Film Interstellar To Show The Character Murphy Cooper In Different Ages, Director Christopher Nolan Instead Of Using De-Aging Or Prosthetics, Used A Method Called Hiring Different Actors.

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#122 In Titanic (1996), Leonardo Dicaprio Drowns Himself After Realizing He Slept With A Woman The Same Age As Him.

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#123 In My Girl (1991), A Distraught Vada Stands Over Her Friend And Yells “Where Are His Glasses? He Can’t See Without His Glasses!”. However, He Can’t See Because He’s Dead.

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#124 In San Andreas, Dwayne Johnson Survives Using Nothing But His Muscles And Charm. Or Maybe This Is From Skyscraper? Could Be Hobbes & Shaw? Not Really Sure To Be Honest.

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#125 In The Poster For Pete's Dragon (2016), Young Pete Is Seen Whimsically Resting In His Dragon's Tail. This Means He Is Whimsically Staring Directly At His Dragon's Butthole.

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#126 There Were Many Whacky Errors Caught On Camera In The 2016 Film 'Suicide Squad' That Were Never Caught And Corrected In Post Production. For Example, If You Closely Examine Certain Frames You Will Notice That Someone Accidentally Cast Jared Leto To Play The Joker.

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#127 In The Award-Winning Motion Picture Jojo Rabbit (2019), Taiki Waititi Portrayed Adolf Hitler. This Is Because The Actual Adolf Hitler Was Unavailable At The Time.

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#128 In Transformers (2007), The Main Conflict Revolves Around Gaining The Location Of The Allspark, Which Is In Sam’s Glasses. The Decepticons Could Not Simply Buy The Glasses On Ebay Because They Are Robots And Could Not Pass The Captcha.

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#129 In 13 Reasons Why Season 4 There Is No Refrence To The Coronavirus, Even Though It's Placed In 2020. This Is A Refrence To The Show Making Absolutely No Sense At All.

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#130 In Breaking Bad, The Protagonist Walter White Used To Be Walter Grey Until He Fought The Balrog And Was Reborn.

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#131 Joker (2019) Contains Many Subtle Nods To Jared Leto's Performance In The Role Prior To Joaquin Phoenix.

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#132 In Dinosaur (2000), All Of The Dinosaurs Shown Are Created By Cgi. This Is Due The The Fact That Dinosaurs Have Been Mostly Extinct Since At Least The Early 1980s.

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#133 In Akira (1988), The Summer Olympics Are Said To Take Place In Tokyo In 2020. However It Is A Mistake On The Director's Part Because The Olympics Were Delayed To 2021 Due To A Certain Viral Outbreak.

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#134 Despite What The Title Would Have You Believe, Ford vs. Ferrari (2019) Is Not A Movie About Harrison Ford Fighting A Sentient Sports Car

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#135 Not Everyone Know This, But Charlie Sheen Been Playing Drug Addict Garth Volbeck Since 1986, When “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” First Came Out, To This Very Day. Staying In Role More Then 30 Years, Amazing.

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#136 In Captain America: Civil War, A Fed Ex Deliverer Asks If A Tony Stank Lives There. James Rhodes Points To Tony Stark, Lies And Says He Is Tony Stank, Thus Both Committing Mail Fraud.

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#137 In 'The Force Awakens' Rey Has Access To Many Force Powers Because She Had Already Completed The Game Once And Now Is Replaying The Campaign With All Of The Skills From Her Previous Walkthrough

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#138 When With Tony, The Shirt Peter Wears In Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Is The Same As The One Pepper Wears In Iron Man 3 (2013), A Subtle Nod To The Fact That The Shirt Belongs To Tony And That He Regularly Sleeps With Both Of Them.

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#139 The Final Level Of Black Panther (2018) Requires No Inputs From The Player. This Is Because It Is Actually A Movie, Not A Videogame, Despite The Visuals Suggesting Otherwise.

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#140 Actor Finn Wolfhard Was Not Considered For A Role In The 1990 Screen Adaptation Of Stephen Kings “It” Due This His Being Born In 2002 And The Constraints Imposed By A Linear Understanding Of Time.

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#141 In 22 Jumpstreet (2014), The Famous Line "My Name Is Jeff" Was Completely Off Script, As Channing Tatum Was Actually Replying To A Member Of The Crew Who Asked Him To Do An Impression Of The American Financier And Convicted Sex Offender Who Did Not Kill Himself In Prison.

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#142 In Return Of The Jedi, Luke Skywalker Does Not Turn To The Dark Side. This Is Because Palpatine Forgot To Tell Him The Tragedy Of Darth Plagueis The Wise

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#143 In Wall-E (2008) The Captain Is Physically Incapable Of Wearing The Original Uniform And Just Buttons The Top Button Around His Neck. This Represents R/Moviedetails Incapability Of Understanding The Difference Between A Movie Detail And Really Basic Character Design

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#144 Despite Being Unwilling To Sacrifice Vision In Infinity War (2018) To Save The Universe, Captain America Sacrifices The Lives Of Hundreds Of Wakandians To Keep Vision Alive. This Is Subtle Nod To The Fact Cap Is Actually From 1930s America Viewing The Lives Of Black People As Worthless.

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#145 In Aquaman (2018) Meera Says "You're Getting Close To Getting Punched In The Face" Now This Is A Reference To Her Relationship With Her Ex-Husband Johnny Depp

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#146 To Prepare For His Role In The Irishman (2019), Robert De Niro Spent 76 Years Applying His Old-Age Makeup.

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#147 Despite Being Advertised As A Full-Length Movie, Martin Scorsese’s Gangs Of New York (2002) Was Actually A Short Film Only Eight Minutes Long. This Is Because My Ex Decided She Was Too Tired To Finish The Movie And Made Me Turn It Off After Less Than Ten Minutes. Sarah You Bi**h.

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#148 In Joker (2019), Murray Tells Arthur "No Cursing" Before Bringing Him Out. However, Arthur Later Says "You Get What You Fu**ing Deserve" On The Show. This Is A Possible Scriptwriting Oversight.

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#149 In Star Wars: Episode Iv: A New Hope (1977) Luke, Han And Leia Are Trapped In Garbage That Will Eventually Kill Them All. This Is Foreshadowing Of How Garbage The Sequel Trilogy Is.

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#150 The Scene In First X-Men (2000) When Wolverine Sees His Reflection Over Other X-Men Uniforms Foreshadows The Franchise's Future Over-Reliance On The Character.

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#151 In Zootopia (2016), In The Laboratory Of Blue Chemicals, Two Characters Are Referenced As ‘Woolter’ And ‘Jesse’. I Have A Grandson Named Jesse

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#152 In The Movie Venom(2018). Every Time Venom Appears It’s Cgi. This Is Because The Symbiote Was Fired After Finding Homophobic Tweets From 2009 On His Page.

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#153 Christopher Nolan Famously Hates Cgi. To Achieve The Look Of Paris Flipping Upside Down In Inception (2010), He Called Upon The Powers Of The Eldritch Gods To Actually Fold The City In Half.

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#154 In Toy Story, Due To Budgetary Constraints, The Animators Had To Reuse The Character Model For Buzz Lightyear For Another Character; Mrs. Nesbitt. They Hid They're Subtle Trickery With A Hat An Apron, But If You Look Closely You Can See She Is Missing The Same Arm Buzz Lost Earlier On.

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#155 In Iron Man 2, Tony Stark Never Recognizes That His Best Friend Looks Completely Different Than Before, Proving That Unfortunately He Is Racist And Thinks All Black People Look Alike

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#156 In The Cult Classic Avengers: Endgame (2019), Thanos Hacks Into Nebula’s Brain And Sees The Avengers’ Plan. This Is A Reference To The Fact That Nebula Doesn’t Use Expressvpn Which Would’ve Resulted In The Movie Ending In The First 30 Mins And Also Happens To Be Today’s Sponsor

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#157 During The Movie Contagion(2011), Gwyneth Paltrow’s Character Dies And An Autopsy Is Performed. During The Autopsy, You Can Clearly See Her Brain, Which Is Impossible, As Nobody With A Brain Sells A Vagina-Scented Candle.

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#158 In Pulp Fiction (1994) Tarantino Wrote Himself Into The Script So He Could Use The N-Word Pass Samuel L Jackson Gave Him To Its Full Extent

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#159 In Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019) One Of The Students Holds Her Umbrella By The Tip Of Its Handle, This Represents That Even Though Dora Had Left The Jungle She Was Still Surrounded By Sick Twisted Animals.

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#160 When Obi-Wan Says He Has The High Ground, It’s Actually Subtle Clever Double Speak Meaning He Has The “Moral High Ground”. This Is Because Obi-Wan Didn’t Stab Up A Room Full Of Children.

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#161 In The Lion King (2019), If You Look Closely You Can Notice The Dust Cloud Spell Out "Sex" In The Sky.

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#162 In The Famous 90s Classic, Home Alone, Kevin’s Parents Are Extremely Concerned When They Find Out They’ve Left Him Alone. This Is Because They Fear He Will Discover Masturbation And No Christian Son Of Mine Will Ever Do That No Sir.

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#163 In "Die Hard" (1988), Sgt. Al Powell Is A Police Officer Who Feels Bad About Shooting An Unarmed Child, This Is A Reference To The Movie Being Fiction.

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#164 In Jeremiah Johnson (1975), Robert Redord's Character Gently Moves His Head Up And Down. This Is A Subtle Nod

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#165 In The Little Mermaid (1991), Ariel Meets An African Mermaid From The Ivory Coast. This Is Because Mermaids Are Fictional And Can Be Black.

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#166 In Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017), The Character Elton John Is Played By Elton John. Taron Egerton (Who Plays Elton John In Real Life) Was Unavailable For The Role, As He Was Already In The Film As Eggsy.

Image credits: WorkThatFunction

#167 Despite Its Name, Portrait Of A Lady On Fire (2019) Is Shot Almost Entirely In Landscape Mode.

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#168 In Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003), When The Bride Is In A Coma, Her Heart Rate Is Recorded To Be 69. Nice.

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#169 In Beauty And The Beast(1991) After Chip Is Turned Back Into A Real Boy He Asks His Mother “Do I Still Have To Sleep In The Cupboard?” Mrs Potts Doesn’t Answer, But Simply Laughs Because Yes, Chip Still Has To Sleep In The Cupboard.

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#170 In The Movie 8 Mile (2002), No Character Is Ever Seen Using A Bathroom. This Is Because You Can't Have Shit In Detroit.

Image credits: Butcher_o_Blaviken

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[coe-lilium]

TroS reaction (1st view)

Necessary premise in bullet points:

- I liked TFA when it came out and still do but as I dug into the franchise/canon (Disney only by choice) my enjoyment of it became more lukewarm. Came out of it dreading a potential Reylo but liking the two charas on their own. 

- went into TLJ worried I’d hate it, came out with it being my favorite saga movie and sold on the Rey-Ren connection, whatever road it would’ve taken. Loved the “Rey’s powerful on her own/bc the Force wants to set Kylo’s wrongs right”. It felt good after two years of being bombarded with “this fucking Mary Sue can have any power only if she’s connected to powerful men of the saga, she has otherwise no right in being powerful” in forums spaces.    

- went into TroS non-spoiled, wary of Palpatine return but relatively hopeful if soured about the “JJ our lord and saviour pleease save us from evil evil Jonhson” (HA!). The rumors about lore from the tv series being featured into the movie had me excited.  

That said, here goes: [SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE, ENDING INCLUDED, RIGHT OFF THE BAT]

I didn’t like it. I really hope to warm up to it more in future views, there’s absolutely stuff I liked or even loved, but as it stands now it was overall a massive disappointment on many sides and -worst of all- threatens to retroactively ruin my enjoyment in other previous stories. 

First, the positives: 

- Parentage notwithstanding, Rey was good. Her rage, her fears, her good heart, her commitment to the fight and the training, her longing for guidance… truly, if the bloodline revelation hadn’t retroactively ruined my investment in the character and themes I’d have fully, 100% loved her even if every single other part of the movie had been the same. 

Except for a brief war flashback to Starkiller game abilities (I lolled) I wasn’t even troubled by all the new abilities or their scope. Movies’ been inventing new powers since the beginning and the Force does what the Force wants. Again, fuck the genetics “twist”, garbage stuff. 

- Kylo, next to… 95% that involved him? TLJ did a great job selling him to me and surprisingly this movie added to that instead of retconning it away. More competent but still stupid and petty from time to time. I’m glad he came back, glad he choose right and glad he was allowed more time on the right side than Anakin. I love redemptions and he was portrayed as wavering the entire trilogy, I don’t even really care that it could’ve done better. I’m happy for him and his family, that’s all. The kiss got a laugh out me but not a malicious one, I was kind of running out of reasonable reactions by then. 

I’m just conflicted on how I feel about his death. Back when TFA was released I wanted him to survive to face what Anakin didn’t: justice (the kid-friendly setting prevented a death sentence anyway), atonement and growth from there, I still wish it happened and maintain that a different pacing would’ve allowed it. On the other hand, I’m also kinda okay with him dying. He righted at least a bit of his many wrongs, he saved a person he cared for, that his parents cared for and that could help the galaxy much more than he ever could and he was at peace. It was a good death.      

- Kylo’s vision/illusion of Han. A surprise but a very pleasant, well acted one. Would’ve I maybe liked Anakin more, as Ben idolized him so much and for all the wrong reasons and because I love that disaster? Yes. Does Han work much better in the economy of the movie and trilogy story and do he and Ben have a much rawer relationship and history? Absolutely. I am a teeny tiny bit baffled as  for why Luke didn’t also show up, but the actual scene was good enough I forgive it.  

- Rey and Kylo bond and connection was one of the saving graces of this mess and I utterly loved it. Both actors worked their asses for for all their scenes and it payed off, oh if it payed off. Their DSII duel was perhaps a tad long but great nonetheless (Republic era Jedi jumps!), the hurt and the sense of absolute loss and grief they both conveyed -and shared!- after Leia’s passing was incredible, Rey regretting the near kill and softly going “I would have stayed, had you renounced the dark side”. She cared, yes, but not to the point of ignoring the horrors (something Anakin never quite understood). The “dyad” stuff was a bit overkill, just call it a force bond, we can see it’s freaking powerful, but the Force Skype and sharing of objects that came with the package, that I loved. Surprise lightsaber, Ren fuckers! :D Bet Anakin and Obi Wan were really jealous, that would’ve come in handy during the war.       

- Finn was now fully invested in the cause, at ease, visibly happy to be with his friends, ready to bond and reach out, quick to plan, to act and to adapt to the situation, brave but cautious and calculating. I wish it was given a bit more focus, but I loved he found other young FO defectors. Also fuck yeah, he’s force sensitive and his ability is used, not just thrown in as a useless wink. Jedi Finn in future material, c’mon!

- Poe’s also grown. He was probably going to have more screen time with Leia had Carrie not died but there was nothing to be done for that. I’m not as happy as for previous 3 charas for the backstory retcon I’ll tackle in the negatives.

- Jannah was cool, the addiction of other FO defectors a welcomed one and the scene were she and Finn excitedly went over their “I broke free” moment was adorable. Good bean, I’d read more about her and her company. 

- A bit lot annoyed at Bloodline being kinda tossed outta the window but getting Leia with lightsaber was nice. Give me some ancillary material to deal with the clash and I’ll fully forgive it. 

- Jedi! MY GIRL AHSOKA MY MAN KANAN! I mean, I sure wish they were in a better movie, but hey, recognition for something more than the OT? No slandering of the Order but all of them collectively kicking Sidious ass once and for all? I’ll gladly take it. Anakin, my dude, I’m sorry your sacrifice was next to nullified but it was good to hear you again ;_;  I didn’t hear Ezra’s voice anywhere so I can still hope he’s alive, well and with the Ascendancy teaching all their Navigators. “I am all the Jedi” remains a terrible line. 

And now, oh boi. Here comes the long list of annoying - bad - stinking shit stuff: 

- If I wanted to watch a 2 and half long videogame cutscenes I’d have done that in the comfort of my home without spending money for tickets. Go to level x to retrieve related macguffin, move to next level to get next macguffin and so on and so on. I liked close to everything in the DS II sequences, but what would’ve that dagger pointed at if the wreckage had fallen even a little bit differently?   

In general, many plot points gave me the feeling they were stolen from the tv series and badly executed, like a mockery (or incompetence?). Case in point: Hux betraying the 1st Order out of personal, spiteful hate? Potentially good! The execution? A poor man’s Rebels Agent Kallus, already over in little more than 5minutes. 

- Palpatine himself is a poorly, ridiculously poorly executed Maul resurrection storyline from tcw and rebels. 

Because Maul was 1. explained and 2. got a good, long arc that made you forgive the undoubtably contrived ass-pull it took to bring him back while Sidious is just… there. You gotta accept it because the writer said so. 

How did he survive? We don’t know and fuck you if you expect an explanation (they really had the absolute galls to have him say the iconic/meme line from Rots and apparently it was supposed to be enough?!) How could he “have all Sith reside inside me” when canon’s clear that Sith do-not-get-to-retain-their-individuality-in-the-Force, do not work well together (lmao) and he as an individual never gave a shit about the Sith except when they could serve his own personal desires? His entire approach to the rule of two and other Sith stuff is “fuck that noise, everything in the galaxy exist to serve me”. He’s fine dying as long as “the Sith rule”? Who IS this character, because he’s not Darth Sidious (as presented in Disney’s own canon, mind). Oh, you wanted explanations? FUCK YOU, screams the movie. 

The mess gets somehow salvaged in the end as he comes to his senses and siphon the life out of Rey and Ben to de-rotten/revive himself to rule in person, now *that* was in character. Was he actually lying his ass off the entire time waiting for the moment he could siphon them? Hopefully but who the hell even knows.

In the end it just wasn’t worth bring him back. A holocron, a different Sith, even a hive-mind of old records/tainted wraiths of Sith (perhaps wearing Palps face to buy the old empire aficionados loyalty, idk) would’ve been better than “actually, Anakin suffered nearly his entire life and sacrificed himself for barely more than 25 years of peace and it still wasn’t enough to rid the galaxy of the monster who destroyed his and countless other lives”. But Johnson was the one shitting on beloved characters legacy and accomplishments, uh? Surely at least he’s got company. 

Ian was clearly having a blast, so there was… that? And the initial sequence being legit creepy and the Sith storm or whatever the fuck was that. That can stay, it was cool.     

- Poe, the latino character, got retconned from former Republic pilot (a backstory established before TFA came out and faithfully respected ever since) into a smuggler and gang member. Classy. What does Lucaslfilm have a story group for if not for stopping stuff like this from happening? Bonus Zorii being used for a “no homo! homo? no homo?” wink wink and for generally being a poor man Solo’s Qi’ra.   

- The movie makes you worry for a character death three (3) times in a row only to immediately backpedal on it. The survivors are grieving, the scene is sober… and then suddenly! they’re alive! isn’t it wonderful? let’s insert a comical scene now that we’re at it! Sigh.   

- The whole Threepio stuff was a contrived waste of time in a movie already full of more relevant plot treads that could’ve put that screen time to better use. 

- Rey’s parents apparently aren’t assholes anymore bc they sold her into slavery to protect her from Sidious, which is… supposed to make it alright, a sacrifice in the name of love? If they had been shown trying to give her to a trusted person and then she was kidnapped that wouldn’t had been their fault, just unfortunate, but the movie shows them leaving their 5yo daughter with her in-all-but-name slaver so?? 

- Rey Palpatine… Rey. Palpatine. Gesù Cristo benedetto che minchia mi è toccato di vedere. That hurt. That was so hilariously over the top bad I just…I started laughing. On top of the entire thing, thank you so, soo much for validating all those fucking assholes who demanded Rey be connected to a powerful man in the saga to accept her powers and value, you hack. Jedi were never about power of blood and then you went and reinforced the very opposite. She ain’t powerful bc the Force recognized her as worthy to stop evil and chose to aid her anymore, she’s powerful bc grandfather was. Lovely stuff. Hilariously, now she has a lot more legit “Mary Sue” traits than before. 

- Rose’s sidelining was a blatant bow to her and her actress haters whims. If in VIII she jumped at the chance of action, now she was fearful and “had to stay behind” studying maps. Fuck that noise. 

- Even if she rejected it, underline is that the Skywalker line is wiped out and the Palpatine one thrives. I… just… wtf wtf wtf. A final “Just Rey” would’ve been more powerful -because now it would’ve been reclaimed- and less corny and in poor taste than a Palpatine taking on the Skywalker name. I’m not sure if Sidious is more offended or if he’s laughing his ass off in space!hell. Probably the 2nd. Bad.      

- The final scene on Tatooine. It rang so empty because the planet brings warm memories only to the audience, not the characters. In-universe, that place brought nothing but misery to the Skywalkers: Anakin and Shmi were brought there as slaves and lived as such for years, Shmi was tortured to death and Anakin began his descent into the dark for crying out loud. Luke had to hide and saw his relatives murdered. Leia had no connection whatsoever to the place. The mera idea of burying Anakin Skywalker lightsaber into the sands of Tatooine and considering it a way of paying respect is… I don’t know, hilariously in bad taste? Rey, dear, what did you have personally against the guy? Put those sabers to rest on Naboo! Ah, but we can’t truly acknowledge the PT now, can we? Wack.   

- It’s not TroS complete fault, that “honor” mostly sit at TFA’s feet but for all its omages, copies and almost slavish references, from a in-universe point of view it’s like the OT barely occurred. 

The same evil man has been defeated (until next time?), the Republic must be rebuilt from scratch, a evil military is all over the place and must be dealt with, the Jedi Order has to be rebuilt… it’s depressing. A new evil taking advantage of the empire leftovers would’ve been one thing, but Sidious? He’s been effectively winning nonstop ever since he was elected Chancellor. He had all the power, all the influence, all the control and he maintained it all even as a rotten corpse in exile, the entire galaxy marching on his tune, controlled by his strings. And as the cherry on top of the cake he even managed to wipe out the family that could’ve, should have been his undoing! He effectively destroyed the Skywalkers. He outlived every Jedi, every survivor, every clone. I hate this. It’s sickening. I can’t even be happy Rex was on Endor anymore.      

In general, the best word I can find for this movie is: coward. 

So blatantly desperate to please, to be “forgiven”, to reference every single irrelevant thing -except the PT and the TV series in a intelligent way-, to throw fanservice after fanservice after fanservice no matter how nonsensical from all over that crossed the “corny” to wander into embarrassing territory many times over (Maz giving Chewie a medal outta nowhere? Come the fuck on now). 

The cartoon series had twenty time the guts of this movie and I vehemently wish for Filoni to take the helm of the entire creative team in a very near future.                  

[benisasoftboi]

In Which I Explain The Entirety of Star Wars, Despite Being Very Much Unqualified To Do So

I have only seen one Star Wars movie - it was The Last Jedi. I saw it, with no context, two years ago in theatres when it first came out. I was very surprised to find out that it made a lot of people very angry, because I quite liked it, as did the friends I saw it with. I can’t say I remember much though.

All the rest of my Star Wars knowledge comes from its generally inescapable nature in the pop cultural zeitgeist. I might have seen a bit of Episode 6, which I don’t know the name of, when I was round a friend’s house once, but I was very tired, and it was about a decade ago anyway.

That’s just some context for my lack of qualifications to do this. My friend said I should still do it anyway. I will not be looking anything up as I write this, so all spelling mistakes and other general errors are mine. 

So anyway - The Entirety of Star Wars:

Original Trilogy 

There is a guy called Luke. He is played by Mark Hamill and he is George Lucas’s self insert. He lives on a planet where there is only sand, because in this universe all planets have only one terrain, I think. He drinks milk. The milk might be blue.

A guy played by Liam Neeson finds Luke. I think this guy’s name is probably Obi Wan Kenobi, but I might have that wrong. At some point he will die tragically and it will be formative for Luke, but then he will also come back as a ghost. Ghosts exist in this universe. 

Possibly Luke has known this guy for a long time or possibly he is a stranger, I am not sure. Somehow they end up on a spaceship.

Luke needs to learn how to use magic powers called the Force, which seems to be mostly telekinesis, and also lets him use a really fancy but probably impractical sword called a lightsaber that shoots blue or sometimes green or sometimes red light. This is called Jedi training. Jedi Knight is a religion. You can claim to be one on the census in the real world. They seem to be really serious people despite having a silly name.

Everyone also has guns that go ‘pew pew pew’ and nerds get really mad when you make fun of that.

Luke will meet many colourful and interesting people on his journey. These include:

A woman played by Carrie Fisher who is also his twin sister but he doesn’t know that until after they kiss. Her name is Leia or maybe Laia. She has silly hair. At one point she wears a slave bikini because she’s enslaved to a gelatinous blob because that’s just how it goes when you’re the woman in a 70s sci-fi movie

A guy called Han Solo because he is Edgy and Does Things Solo. He and Leia have a romance and it’s Drama. He also has a spaceship that people will build very impressive lego replicas of. He dresses like a cowboy. I’m 90% that he is played by Harrison Ford

A bunch of walking teddy bears called Ewoks who can kill you and live in a jungle

A guy called Lando Calrissian who I think wears fancy clothes and that’s all I know about him, he might actually be a villain I’m not sure. He might die?

A little blue robot who hid behind some rocks one time and then in the re-release he hid behind more rocks than before and the fans got Mad

A big gold robot who is nervous and gay and might be gay for the little blue robot, like they might be married but that also might be a meme I’m not certain

A weird green goblin thing called Yoda who makes Luke carry him around and speaks in broken English that annoying people have spent the last thirty years imitating. He dies, but then is a ghost so it doesn’t matter really

A guy called Boba Fett who is a bounty hunter. I genuinely have no clue how he fits in to all of this. He might not actually be from Star Wars, maybe I’m mixing him up with something else. 

Luke is also trying to fight the Evil Darth Vader who works for an Evil CGI Emperor of the Evil Empire. They live on a big spaceship called the Death Star and it looks like a moon but isn’t and people think it’s funny when you point that out for some reason. They are the Dark Side, which makes them easy to root against because they’re just cartoonishly evil I guess. I think they are also bureaucrats. They have Stormtroopers, who might be brainwashed people or might just be robots, or might even be clones. They all wear identical white armour with helmets so people don’t care when they get shot. Kinda like fencers.

Darth Vader is actually Luke’s father and this is a twist except not anymore. This means he is also Leia’s father, I’m not sure if she knew. Also Luke loses his arm. Darth Vader gets redeemed and then dies but also takes down the Evil CGI Emperor with him.

I don’t know what happens in any of the movies, but I know that the first one ends with them getting plans for or from Leia, not sure, the second one has the dad twist, and the third one has ghosts. Also they blow up the Death Star by shooting a garbage chute really hard. 

Prequels

These movies are widely disliked. The first one has too much bureaucracy. They are about Darth Vader’s backstory. He used to be a guy called Anakin. He will Become Evil. He will also meet many colourful characters. They include:

His love interest, who is called Padme. She wears a silly hat and dies of a combination of Childbirth and Sadness. I saw this bit happen one time when I was a kid and I was stuck round my mum’s friend’s house and her son was playing through this part in the LEGO game. It was sad

A guy with a red face whose name might be Maul and has robot legs? 

A guy called Jar Jar Binks who everyone seems to simultaneously hate and feel a desperate need to make sex jokes about 

Angry Jedi People

Probably some robots

Anakin hates sand and is pretty but grumpy. His hatred of sand is what will prevent him from finding Luke in the original movies. He falls in a volcano and gets turned into a robot man and it’s very dramatic. He has an angry red lightsaber. He murders a bunch of children by executing Order 66. Or maybe that was in the first set of movies I don’t know. I’m not sure how they made three of these movies, there doesn’t seem to be much to them.

Also there is something called ‘mitoclorians’ and I don’t know what they are but they make nerds Very Mad.

Expanded Universe

There was an expanded universe, but Disney said it wasn’t canon when they bought the rights, so now it isn’t. If I were a Star Wars fan, I would not take this lying down, because what right does Disney have to say what’s canon? Why is it up to the copyright holders? They are a corporation, not a writer. Expanded universes are always really fun and full of wacky nonsense that would never get put in the mainline stuff. I don’t like it when people try to dismiss them. 

Stand Alone Movies

When the new trilogy started, they also made some stand alone films. They were called Rogue One and Solo. Rogue One is about a woman named Gin or Jinn or Jin or Ginne or - I wish I hadn’t restricted myself to not looking anything up - Urso. The spelling doesn’t matter because she dies. So does everyone else. Then Darth Vader shows up.

Solo is about Han Solo and his friends and they have an adventure and there’s a robot who wants robot rights but she dies so no one has to address the slavery thing. Also apparently it was going to be a comedy but got reshot as a drama. I hope I never watch it because that sounds terrible, even as much as I like Donald Glover who I think is in it probably. I think his character might have been in love with the dead robot.

Sequel Trilogy

These movies are about a girl called Rey. She makes nerds mad by existing and being the protagonist. She is Space British. She is a scavenger and is friends with a really cute little orange robot. Somehow she ends up in space. She starts hanging out with Older Leia’s crew, which include a pilot named Poe Dameron and a guy called Finn, but I don’t know why he’s there. People ship them with each other, and also with Rey. 

The other person people ship Rey with is Kylo Ren, who I call Space Zuko because when I saw The Last Jedi, he showed up and I was like ‘oh, it’s Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender but in space’, because he has bad hair and is angry about his Daddy Issues. I hope in the next movie he gets better hair and fewer Daddy Issues like Real Zuko did. A lot of people get really angry about Rey and Space Zuko being shipped together, but they’re still the most popular ship on AO3. So no matter what happens in the next one, nerds are going to be mad about it, and I am not looking forward to it.

Kylo Ren killed his dad, Han Solo, because he was radicalised to be evil for reasons I don’t know. The guy who runs the New Evil Group, which is called the First Order, is an ugly CGI guy called Snoke. It was apparently a Big Twist that Kylo kills him Last Jedi, and it made nerds really mad. I don’t understand why people were surprised, because when I saw the movie, I saw that guy and was like ‘oh he’s gonna get killed by Space Zuko because that would be Drama and also from a production standpoint having a guy who needs lots of special effects is much more difficult than just having Adam Driver wear a scary mask’ and then I was right so maybe I’m smarter than all the nerds. 

There is also a guy called Hux and he is a ginger. I think he is evil.

The other thing people got really mad about was that Rey’s parents were not established characters. People wanted her dad to be Luke, I think, who is in Last Jedi. I was happy about this because I like Mark Hamill. He spent the movie teaching her about the force while they hang out on an island with a race of merchandising opportunities called Porgs. He dies at the end but he might be in the next one as a ghost anyway. 

Also there was a girl called Rose and people decided that not liking the character meant they could be mean to the actress, which is not true and everyone who was mean to her should be ashamed. There was another woman as well, but I don’t remember her name, she had purple hair and was serious and I have no idea if she was good or evil. 

Kylo Ren’s real name is Ben which is not very sci-fi. Maybe that’s why he changed it.

Though come to think, Luke isn’t a very sci-fi name either. 

Anyway, that’s everything I know about Star Wars.

Feel free to ask me questions about Star Wars and have me try to answer.

Do not, under any circumstances, try to actually explain Star Wars to me. I’m much happier as is, thank you very much

[whumpbby]

I think one of the people very rude about the Kylo Ren redemption thing is you right now. Yeah, people who think he shouldn't be redeemed (me,for example) are rude sometimes (I hope I haven't been and if I ever was I would apologize for it) but that isn't a reason to be rude and insult them and their opinion in general. I get if you think he should be redeemed but I don't need to 'mature emotionally' because I think he doesn't. Saying that is not all that nice either, you know.

Listen, friend. Kylo Ren redemption is unimportant in this discussion, but the mechanism that turns people into raging *holes over him? That’s what moves me in this situation and the double standard that powers it and the entirely egotistic ‘definitions’ constructed by kids who ostensibly don’t know better. 

That some people can look at it and find it ‘rude’ and unpleasant is normal and I accept it. I also found it unpleasant when I was a kid set in my ways and an older friend was telling me how I will be ashamed of many of my opinions and behaviour in the future. I found it rude, how could they know? How could they understand what I felt and my opinions were solid and never going to change because I WAS RIGHT! This OTP was a waste of space and people who wrote self-inserts into canon stories were lower than scum and I was justified in making fun of them! These nasty fucking heteros! Straight romance is trash! SasuNaru is a work of the devil and here is 20 reasons why it’s bad! Etc...

The catch was that I was wrong, they were right, I  learned to step outside of my own head and look at the bigger picture where my opinions and the way I was expressing them were overblown and in a large way dickish. I said a lot of things in the fervour of righteous anger that I’m ashamed of to this day, expressed a lot of thoughts that should never leave my head. Poured so much poison on people over things that were so trite and so undeserving...

And all these peeps proudly proclaiming to be anti-Kylo-Reylo-whatevero while going out of their way to tell the other side how incorrect and, indeed evil, it is for liking something - that’s what they remind me of. A pack of kids that have yet to mature emotionally and see that there are more important things in their lives than making a self-congratulatory meme and dancing in joy around it with a oh these nasty Reylos got told!  without a shred of awareness of how in this situation, they are the strange and unpleasant bunch=_=

Saying that I am not ‘nice’ to people who tend to reliably go out of their way to attack and derive others for ‘liking’ something they don’t... well, I don’t care to be nice in this case.