#*posts this pretending most of these asks aren't over a month old*

[moon-fics]

The Truth-Peter Parker

A/n: Ok, so the original angst fic I wanted to post is taking longer than I thought to finish. Here's a shorter angst-to-fluff fic that I think you'll enjoy!

Summary: Peter has been different recently and you don't like it.

Warning: Swears, Peter being stupid

Today is not your day, not even close. You realize that while staring down at the chapter text you didn't study for. You always tell yourself college grades are the most important thing in your life, but somehow you fucked this one up. Probably because your best friend has been on and off the grid for the past month.

You choose random answers for half a page, rubbing your forehead in frustration as the questions get harder. You glance over your shoulder to see Peter in the back of the class, practically breezing through the test. Of course, you aren't surprised seeing as he's already an expert in organic chemistry. You mentally curse him out for being smart enough not to study.

You still have five questions unanswered but at this point, you're at a low. With a deep breath you write down random answers you hope are bullshit enough to be accepted. You quickly stand from your chair, placing the test on the professor's desk. You get the shortest look at the class, half of them are already gone. You grab your backpack, swinging it over your shoulder. Right as you pass the professor's desk you hear shuffling from the very back, knowing it's Peter.

You don't spare him a glance, speeding up as you walk through the campus halls. You're about to turn the corner towards the exit when you hear footsteps gaining on you. You don't have to look to know who it is.

You push open the doors, heading straight to your car in hopes Peter doesn't reach you. Sadly, today is really not your day.

You only get halfway through the parking lot when he calls out to you. You can't pretend to not hear him because even a senile old man would. With a heavy sigh, you turn on your heel and watch him approach you.

"Hey, what's the rush?" He asks innocently, stopping a few feet in front of you. He hasn't even broken a sweat but he's breathing like he's run a mile. "I saw that you didn't do too well on the test." He tries to strike up a conversation.

"How would you know that? You were in the back of the class." You raise an eyebrow, genuinely wondering how he'd know that. You watch his face change as he tries to come up with a reason. It's either going to be a lie or he'll brush it off. That's what he's been doing recently, lying to you or avoiding you altogether.

"You left in a bad mood." He answers, shrugging his shoulders. You decide not to press further, knowing it'll lead nowhere. "You should have asked if you needed help, I could have rambled about organic chemistry until you'd become a secondhand expert!" This makes you lose your politeness.

"When could I have asked you?" You scoff, crossing your arms. "We barely talk and when I text you I get left on delivered." You point out with a frown. You could probably pull up his contact and scroll through the constant unanswered messages that are paired with random texts from him, usually at unreasonable hours. At one point you tried matching whatever sleep schedule he's on, but eventually had to stop for your sanity.

Peter nods his head, not defending himself. "I know I've been busy, I should have tried to talk to you more." He says in a genuine tone. He looks down at the asphalt, rubbing the back of his neck. You can't lie, even when you're close to ditching him in the parking lot, he looks good. "I promise that I'm not distracted anymore, I swear on my test score!" His eyes shift to look at you, his head ducked down a bit still. He looks adorable at that angle.

"And I'm supposed to care why?" You shift your weight onto one leg, the weight of your backpack making your back ache. A part of you wants to just forgive him and pretend like the past few weeks didn't happen, the other half wants to reject him and drive home.

"I was hoping we could hang out, you know like friends do." He chuckles. If his smile wasn't so perfect you'd call him insane, maybe even dramatically march away. Instead, you find yourself excited about the idea of spending time with him again. Your heart betraying your stubborn brain.

"And if I were to say yes, what would we do?" You enquire, pretending to not be interested. It's too bad you never made the starring role in any school plays.

"I'd order us pizza and invite you to watch a movie at my apartment." You've forgotten how much his internships are paying him, OSCORP definitely loves him. "I'll even buy those cupcakes you loved from that bakery." That catches your interest.

"Hmm, I'll have to see." You pretend to think, making him groan. You both know you're more than free, but you enjoy tormenting him. Honestly, spending time with Peter while eating free food is a double win. "I guess I'll do it." You relent, watching as his smile grows even more. You can see his eyes brighten once you agree, making your heart race.

"Perfect, Friday night at 6 o'clock!" He details, and you mentally note it. There's no way you'd miss it, not for the world.

-

It's pouring rain when you finally reach his apartment, you're dripping down the hallway. You know how to get to his apartment by heart having done it so much. The hallway filled with apartment doors is warm enough to keep you from shivering.

You reach his door, knocking a few times. You wait awkwardly, noticing how dead quiet it is. You hope he has clothes you can borrow so yours can dry, wet clothes are anything but comfortable.

You wait a few seconds before knocking again, still having hope about tonight. You assure yourself he's probably listening to music or in the shower. You send him a text letting him know you're outside.

After a few minutes, you call him, becoming impatient. The warmth of the hallway is no longer enough, your skin covered in bumps and your teeth chattering. There's no answer, you go straight to voicemail.

You don't want to believe he's not home. You try to come up with an excuse, anything that could stop the ache in your chest. However, you've been in this situation before. You know how tonight will end and it doesn't include free pizza and cupcakes.

You wait five more minutes before you have no patients left in you. You turn away from the door, heading back down the hallway, into the elevator, and back into the rainy night. On the way out you open his contact, sending one last message telling him to forget about it.

-

You wake up to the sound of your ringtone blaring in your ears. With a sleepy groan, you pick up your charging phone, seeing Peter's contact name in bold letters. You stare at the call, turning your sound off. You wait until the call ends before checking the time, seeing it's almost 3AM. No way in hell are you answering his calls this early in the morning, not after he stood you up.

You put your phone down, rolling away from it on your bed. You just want to sleep the day away, feeling disgusting from getting caught in the rain.

You fall asleep for a few hours before hearing a knock. You groggily sit up, heading to your bedroom door. You assume it's your roommate but when you open the door no one is there. You hear the knocking again, it's from your window.

Your body tenses, fear creeping up your back. You don't want to turn around in case your childhood fears were real and there's a killer on your fire escape.

There's a third round of knocks that come in a specific rhythm. You know that knock and you kind of wish it was a killer instead. You don't want to see Peter, but it's too late to act as if you're still asleep. Even if you did go back to sleep, you have no choice but to look at him while walking to your bed.

You know you'll regret this decision later, but you head to your window anyway. You lean on the windowsill, glaring daggers into Peter's soul through the glass. He gets the message instantly, giving you a pleading look. He points to the lock on your window, silently asking you to open it.

You huff, unlocking the window and pushing it open. You're itching to chew him out, to confront him about making you feel like shit. You want to get the first word, but the moment the window opens Peter is speaking.

"I'm so so so sorry! I promise I didn't leave you hanging on purpose!" He begins, talking at the speed of sound. He's sweating, his hair flat compared to his usual updo. "Something came up and I couldn't check my phone!" Another excuse.

"Just say you forgot and let me sleep." You grumble, eye locked with his. He knows you aren't messing around and that this is the last straw. He's fucked up for the last time and now he's grasping at anything to fix it. "At least spare me the truth."

"I swear I'm telling the truth, there was an emergency and I tried to get to my apartment in time." He sighs, running a hand through his hair. He's still withholding the truth and you know you'll never get it like this.

"Alright, Peter, I'm done." You pat your legs before reaching to shut your window. Before you can even touch the wooden frame, something sticky touches your wrist. Your eyes land on a white substance pulling on your skin slightly. You follow the string down to Peter's wrist, his eyes wide. There's a wristband with some sort of mechanism on it. "What the fuck?"

Before you can think he's climbing through your window, disconnecting his web from his wrist. You stare at the substance still attached to you, it reminds you of a spider's web. Spiderweb.

"OH, MY-" Peter places a hand over your mouth, shushing you. His palms are rough but warm. Your eyes are wide and the tips of your fingers are numb as things slowly get put into place in your mind.

"Please, don't scream," Peter begs, slowly removing his hand from your mouth. Your jaw is on the floor and you both know you have a lot to talk about.

-

Not in a million years did you expect tonight to go like this. You did not foresee Peter confessing to being Spider-Man or sitting on a rooftop as he explains his powers. You have no idea what time it is, but the sun is beginning to rise.

"So, this whole time you've been fighting crime and going to college?" That's the thing you can't wrap your head around. He has amazing grades, you're even jealous of him for it. You're trying to figure out how he doesn't pass out all the time from exhaustion.

"Yeah, I've been balancing everything." He admits. Your heart pangs at the idea of him wearing himself out constantly and then still trying to make time for you. "I promise if last night wasn't a serious emergency I would have been there." He shakes his head.

For the first time in a while, you believe him. "You shouldn't beat yourself up about it." You comfort him, rubbing his back. Now that you know the full truth, everything makes sense. You don't feel bad for being upset, but you can't hold onto the anger anymore.

"I tried so hard to make any time for you," He mumbles, watching the sunrise and the sky changes colors. "Every time I thought about messaging you or even talking to you, someone would commit a crime." He chuckles, handing his head between his knees.

"Well, now that I know I forgive you." You num, nudging him playfully. Honestly, knowing he's a secret superhero makes him ten times more attractive. "Besides, now I know you aren't trying to avoid me." You joke.

"Avoid you? Never." He scoffs, wrapping an arm around you. "If anything you're one of the reasons I fight for this city. I want you to live in a place that's protected." There's a long silence as you digest his words, trying to figure out if he's saying what you think he is. After an awkward amount of quiet, he speaks again, "I just want to make sure I wasn't being too subtle, I've been in love with you since freshman year." He says bluntly, putting it all out in the air.

"Oh." That is all you can say. The guy you've had a crush on has liked you for the same amount of time and all you can say is 'Oh'. You really need to slap yourself.

"Oh." He repeats, tapping his knees. "So, uhm, I love this chat I've created." He thins his lips, trying not to look directly at you.

It takes a second but your brain finally catches up with your heart. You turn to face him, your eyes are wide. You grip his arm as if he's leaving. "OH!" Your voice raises in a few octaves, "You're in love with me!"

"Yeah, I am." He laughs, taking your hand in his. Your heart is slamming against your chest, trying to find the correct words to say.

"I'm in love with you, too!" You shout, finally forming words. You sound extremely stupid and socially broken. "I just thought you were a dick!"

"No, you were right. I was being a dick." Peter nods his head with a smile on his face. You don't disagree with him, instead, you keep your eyes on his face. You're soaking up his features, taking in every pore and micro-scar on his face. "But I wish I had confessed sooner."

"I wish you did too, but I'm glad it's now instead of never." You lean your head on his shoulder, hand still in his. He brushes his finger over the back of your palm. "Besides, now we can be one of those couples at graduation who post like fifty photos." You tease.

"Couple?" His head snaps to look at you, "You still want to date me?" He asks in such a quiet voice, almost unsure you'll say yes. It shatters your heart to see him like this, believing that years of friendship and pining will go away after a couple rough patches.

"Oh, I'd date the fuck out of you," You nod your head with a serious look. His expression brightens more than before, and his free hand reaches to touch your face.

"Can I please kiss you?" He asks, his lips about to graze yours.

"If you don't I think I might jump off this roof." You lean closer and Peter doesn't hesitate to meet you halfway. The kiss is rough for just a second before mellowing out. You don't realize how much you've been craving this until it's actually happening.

He finally pulls away for air, resting his forehead on yours. "Holy shit." He gasps, trying to catch his breath. "I think this is the best moment of my life."

"It better be." You respond, going in for another kiss.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Andrew Doyle asks: Remember when the pride flag made sense?

Remember when the pride flag made sense?

It was designed by an American Artist called Gilbert Baker in 1978. It was originally an eight-stripe rainbow but was soon refined into the six-striped version that was the norm for many decades.

At a time when gay people couldn't hold hands with their partners on the street, this flag served a useful purpose. It meant that you could easily find gay pubs or other places where no one had to pretend to be something they weren't. The rainbow symbol was a simple and effective concept that conveyed positivity and unity.

And then some activists came along and said hang on a minute, why are there no black or brown stripes in the rainbow flag? See, for some reason they were under the impression that the gay flag was a literal representation of the range of skin colors that are acceptable in the community. And so we got this.

Okay then, I mean, well, there weren't any white stripes in the original one either. But most people understood that it was symbolic with that we were all included already, irrespective of our race.

But then after this, trans activists came along and said, why aren't we in there? So we got this one. And this was the chevron with the pink white and blue, which was based on the trans flag.

But surely this eyesore couldn't get any worse, could it? Well, it could, because activists were then concerned that it was excluding intersex people, so they added this symbol.

Okay, it's getting a bit out of control now. But then last year, some bright spark added a red umbrella to represent sex workers.

Now, if you thought this was getting out of hand, last year then we had Microsoft. They designed a new version to incorporate all the other multiple sexualities and genders that have been invented over the past few years. Let's have a look at that.

I mean, what the hell is it? It looks like a space ship going at warp speed through a Care Bear's bum hole.

Identity politics in its current form is an ever expanding beast. Pride used to be just one day. Then it was a month. And now Pride events have been scheduled all the way from March through to September. As one sign in a shoe shop pointed out Pride never stops. If only it would.

The initialism as well that's expanded too. First we had LGB, and then it became LGBT, then LGBTQ, then LGBTQIA. The Canadian government currently favors 2SLGBTQIA+, although even its prime minister finds that a bit of a mouthful.

Similarly, Pride started out as an important protest against injustice. When the original Pride March took place in London in 1972, homosexuality had only been legal for five years, and the prospect of gay marriage or even an equal age of consent, seemed impossible. Only 2000 people turned up to these protests.

But by contrast, the Pride parade in London in 2022 attracted over a million. And of course, most of those people aren't even gay. It's become a family day out, a huge party.

And what's so wrong with that, you might ask. And that's a fair question. If people are celebrating and having a good time, that's great. Except that's not necessarily what's going. Increasingly, gay people no longer feel welcome at Pride. I spoke to a representative from a lesbian group on this show last year who had been moved along by police when trying to protest at Pride. But isn't Pride meant to be a protest, not a party? What's going on?

The answer is that pride has been hijacked not once but twice.

First by avaricious multi-billion dollar corporations who are able to pose as virtuous by posting the pride flag. Only, they don't do it in the branches in countries where homosexuality is still illegal. After all, you wouldn't want to fly the flag anywhere which might actually make a difference.

I'm old enough to remember that corporations were certainly not celebrating Pride quite so openly before section 28 was repealed in 2003, or before the age of consent was equalized in 2001, or before the decriminalization of homosexuality in Scotland in 1980. So, these corporations' commitment to LGBT rights apparently only manifests itself when it's likely to make them a profit.

And then there's the second hijacking. See, whereas the original Pride was about agitating for equal rights for gay people, it's now been taken over by activists who are obsessed with group identity and who believe that gender is more important than sex.

That's why the British library, to celebrate the advent of pride month this week, posted a thread on Twitter about the sex life of fish, and how some species have been known to change from male to female.

I mean, what's that got to do with Pride? Why have Librarians seemingly forgotten that human beings aren't the same as fish? Now, they've since deleted those tweets, because well, you know they're bonkers. And although we might laugh at that kind of nonsense, the ideology it promotes is actually rather sinister, particularly for gay people.

See, in her book, "Time to Think" by Hannah Barnes, she found that between 80 and 90% of adolescents referred to the Tavistock pediatric gender clinic were same-sex attracted. Studies have long confirmed a correlation between gender non-conformity in youth, and homosexuality in later life. At the Tavistock, staff used to joke that "soon there would be no gay people left." Somehow the medicalization and sterilization of gay people has been reframed as progressive.

Even Stonewall, the UK's foremost LGBT charity has redefined the word "homosexual" on its website and promotional materials to mean "same gender attracted." Its CEO, Nancy Kelly, has claimed that women who exclude trans people from their dating pool are akin to sexual racists. There's been an intense resurgence of old homophobic tropes online from gender ideologues that believe that "genital preferences are transphobic" and that lesbians who don't include men in their dating pool must be suffering from trauma.

Gay rights were secured by recognizing that a minority of people are instinctively attracted to members of their own sex. And the new ideology of gender identity rejects this notion entirely, and actively shames gay people for their orientation.

So, when you see this flag, try to understand that many gay people consider it to be a symbol of opposition to gay rights, Women who are concerned about their rights consider it a symbol of misogyny, because it promotes an ideology that denies the reality of sex-based oppression, and yet most people, gay people included, haven't even noticed this transition from the pro-gay rainbow flag to this anti-gay imposter.

And that's because it all happened so quickly, and activists are playing on good intentions of a public who don't want to be seen to be on the wrong side of history. Well, I would suggest that upholding the rights of women and gay people and protecting gender non-conforming children and opposing the hypocrisy of corporations is the truly progressive approach.

Anyone who spends any time on social media would have seen that homophobia is clearly on the rise. It's coming from the reactionary elements of the right, who are now holding gay people responsible for sexualized drag shows for children, and the proliferation of sexually explicit books in school libraries. But of course, they've fallen for the trick. This isn't gay people. That's gender ideologues who've convinced everyone that the LGBTQIA+ movement is one big happy family, when it isn't.

And we know this because homophobia is also on the rise among gender ideologues themselves, who frequently go online to tell gay people to kill themselves. Some of them have said that they celebrate AIDS as a good thing. And this isn't just a few mad activists, there are thousands of examples of this if you've got the stomach to look them up.

So whether it's coming from those who consider themselves right wing or left-wing, anti-gay sentiments are back in fashion. And the best way to combat this is to remind everyone that that Progress Pride flag, and the corporate orgy that accompanies it, is not in the interests of gay people.

And if it's too late to reclaim the original Pride flag, we can at least ditch the new one.

[adambja]

Hi Adam

I don't know why I'm telling you this to be honest hehe,but as my fav blogger I want to ask you for advice.

So I discovered the law last two years and for 8 months I tried using subliminals each one month but no matter how hard I stuck to one subliminal it never gave me results.

Then last year I read motivation on loa and all in other bloggers post but I never manifested anything no matter how hard I tried,I tried to be the creator of my reality,I pretended to be living my dream life even though I was broke asf and my family was suffering,ppl called me stupid but I didn't care,even when I never got results I believed it would come soon,I literally kept convincing myself for a year,I worked so hard but nothing happened,I never Manifested anything,and then I heard about the void state,I didn't believed in it but then I saw success stories and I believed it immensely,I thought there's still hope for me,for months I suffered but I pushed through and tried to get into the void state every day and every night,I worked on my self concept,I applied the law in every way but then nothing happened and then my dad fell ill,I was worried and I kept affirming to manifest his health,I affirmed in tears and I was fed up.i wanted to pay you for a custom tape because I thought it might help me but then I had no cent on me,so I could only keep affirming and affirming but nothing happened and then my mum died,she couldn't keep up with all of these,I had no siblings so yeah,then the dad died too.but I still didn't give up I didn't want to but it's useless,right now when I see any blogger giving ppl motivation,it annoys the hell outta me,I know I might be wrong but the law never helped me so now I'm gonna be sent to an orphanage home tomorrow in which girls are constantly molested each time,I literally pass by and see guys trying to touch them and I don't wanna go there please I need your advice,I'm tired of all these you are the creator speeches it's annoying to be honest,I wouldn't say I didn't try enough because I did extremely well,my phone is the only thing supporting me right now pls I need you to tell me what to do,it was my dad's gift to me on Christmas,he worked so hard to buy me one.ive tried every method possible

Most of y'all think you've had it bad??? I've faced worse,I don't even have access to my own house because of my fucking family members y'all give up immediately you try something

I tried for over 2 years but I never got anywhere and I need help,I'm going insane,if there's anything you can do to help me please do if there isn't then it's okay

First of all

My name isn't Adam it's adambja baby it's A GIRL HERE AND THIS IS WHAT I CALL A TRAUMA DUMPING THAT'S it

I didn't read anything because I am about to sleep I am so tired but you are welcome to talk to me privately and we will see

I understand your frustration and all your feelings and all this anger about some bloggers here saying the same repeated things over and over!

It's not my responsibility either cause I am not even like them hopefully I helped a lot of people here!

But when you send me a message make sure you tell me about what you want from the tapes if you are gonna buy them BECAUSE I DON'T MAKE CUSTOM TAPES FOR FREE you gave me your whole life thing how would I even help you if you aren't paying me for your personalized tape or coaching!!!!

I CAN LITERALLY HELP YOU IN ONE MONTH WITHOUT ANY VOID SH IN YOUR NORMAL PHYSICAL REALITY I DID HELP A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAD THE WORST SITUATIONS YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE!

This is the issue here guys

This is MY ISSUE okay? Stop trauma dumping instead tell me WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN!!! NOT WHAT HAPPENED CAUSE IDGAF ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED I AM HERE TO MAKE YOUR NEW REALITY HAPPEN

Again the old story MUST BE DEAD!

Also baby you need tapes NOT TALK NOT WORDS YOU NEED TO REWIRE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

How SHOULD I MAKE THE OLD STORY DEAD, ADAMBJA?

Just tapes THAT'S WHY I AM MAKING TAPES WITH BENEFITS ITS BETTER IN MANY WAYS

And that's what I am originally a coach for!

[coldtomyflash]

OH MY STARS YOU’RE WRITING AGAIN?!???!!!??????? THIS MIGHT BE THE MOST EXCITING NEWS I’VE HAD THIS MONTH!!!!!!!! Igkdnhidksjdkpfkejs

A question, forgive me if it’s been asked before, is there *any* chance that you might write a sequel to got a melancholic temperament? I was doing a reread the other day and it was just so fosofiakdidkfkdkekfkdicjgkvobodkakfkgkvifidiekdkfivdiddicokspsgkckvoejanamfgogiejdgoocisisodcoxnaj

Ahem. Just casually curious 😎

❤️❤️❤️

Less like writing again and more like reading back over my old unfinished pieces and seeing if there's any that still spark joy or require only minimal effort to finish and post 😂😅

I've also been writing this whole time just for supernatural instead of coldflash but shhh let's pretend I never betrayed coldflash

A sequel for melancholic temperament?? I'm genuinely trying to imagine what the plot would be??

One of the things I'm weird about with my longer coldflash works is always trying to end on a note of finality, one that makes things feel relatively wrapped up (some of them even get epilogues lol). So it's hard to imagine a "what next" for me because the core conflict and plot points should, in theory, be resolved.

For melancholic temperament... Obviously the age regression is fixed, and Len and Barry are still in this new fresh space but they're both approaching it from mutual understanding, and Len is accepted by the Wests.

There's the Flash detractors as the maybe obvious narrative thread that's out there dangling, and Barry with Mick and the other Rogues could provide some narrative juice. That's the most of what I can think of though?

I like to write around a developing romance because I'm a sucker for it, but in a sequel case, it would be more an established relationship thing? which isn't my usual bag except for short fics. I like to resolve a narrative at the point at which we know the characters are affirmed in their commitment to each other, partly because I tend to see commitment as an "all in" thing, so the tension of "will these crazy kids overcome the odds to make it together" is dispelled.

(not that stories about falling out and getting back together aren't interesting -- I actually really enjoy them when done well -- it's just that that's not what I've aimed for with any of my coldflash works)

But unless the sequel was a heavily plot-centric work, there would need to be some coldflash relationship ups and downs. I'm not a fan of manufacturing drama and miscommunication among characters who ought to be somewhat reasonable human beings, so any strife would have to feel earned and authentic. And I'm not sure how I would go about that?? Sure it's all new and fresh and there's a lot of potential hiccups but at the end of Melancholic Temperament was supposed they were supposed to be in a place where we (the audience) were confident they'd weather whatever came next okay.

And while I could (and likely would have to) tie their ups and downs to the Flash detractors stuff, it feels (at present, without concrete ideas to anchor it) sort of laden-on? In a "Barry can't catch a break" sort of way?

I don't know, I'm genuinely trying to think it through but there's nothing concrete for me to latch on to as a vision for how it would take shape. I could see an unrelated story in a canon divergent setting specifically interested in the Flash detractors concept, examining meta protestors and stigma and the Flash's role as this dual symbol of justice and subjugation, but that would have more room to grow as a standalone than a sequel?

Did you have something in mind for what a sequel would include?

[menalez]

I never understand where the bottom line is for some radfems. There are easy tells when someone is going to be a dumpster fire of a human being. The first is acting shocked we don't encourage neoliberal economic representation bc a woman in power under today's standards relies on the exploitation of other women for her own financial independence. Women with center or right political views are first comfortable voicing their disagreement with us over radical feminism's Marxist views. The next tell is when they lament the visibility of lesbians as taking something away from them. Apostle-of-sappho started drama with lesbians everyone who wasn't a lesbian overlooked, then pretended to care when she spouted off racism. Same for Girlsfrommars and her xenophobia. The next tell is when they disavow intersex women with XY chromosomes. Deny their womanhood or experience of misogyny. Lie about Caster Semenya's upbringing or diagnosis. The GC conservatives on Ovarit were obsessed with their own conspiracies and took it out on other intersex women. The anti-semitism and racism follow once the waters were tested with an unpopular view and discrimination against other women they got away with. Rad-bad-and-dangerous-to-know hit almost all these notes immediately and I wondered if she wasn't Rad-and-I-dont-stop. Most of us are old enough to know the difference between someone who needs more information to unlearn their biases and someone expressing prejudice. We don't have to keep giving these women the benefit of the doubt! A lot of us had rad-bad-and-dangerous-to-know blocked but blocking someone doesn't stop the spread of their platform. We have to point out to others the reasons we aren't interacting with the post and it's not because we're witch hunting and censoring like the tras. We know what the person is talking about. We know who the user is. We are opposed for real reasons not suspicions which exist only in our minds.

“blocking someone doesn't stop the spread of their platform”

exactly this likeeee do we all just silently block and ignore TRAs? no, we engage with them and their arguments and show how they’re wrong so we can get somewhere. but i feel like the general attitude here when it comes to racism, homophobia, and so on from “radfems” is to just ignore or block which does absolutely nothing to combat them or make them or others like them feel unwelcome on the basis of their beliefs in rfeminism. it’s baffling to me that rad-bad-and-dangerous-to-know was openly racist for months, she was very openly deranged in a Bad Way and morally questionable for probably years and people only cared when it turned out she was lying about her financial situation to emotionally manipulate other women into giving their money… like as bad as that is, we could’ve probably put a stop to her exploitation early had people cared about her being shitty in other ways. and i hate to sound like a broken record, but no woc is given this kind of lenience. when i was 20/21 and asked for help on 3 diff occasions bc i was in an abusive relationship where i was literally being stolen from, people harassed me for months. the money i got was from mutuals i largely paid back or gave something in return to, and randos that hated me for prejudice-related reasons still harassed me instantly. suddenly i baselessly became a rich woman living in a gated community with several servants and w/e else instead of a middle class student living in the UK and broke because of being stolen from, and thus required a small amount of money to buy a meal on 2 occasions and meds on 1 occasion. people invented lies about my social class and my living situation as a student living alone in a foreign country. but this woman has been e-begging since 2016 when she was in her own family home as a woman in her 30s and no one cared for yearsss until she started lashing out at others and threatening w suicide!! it bothers me that white women are obviously sympathised with and given more benefit of the doubt than woc can ever imagine to have on here.

[thschei]

Okay we're making this quick and short, and then we can be detailed later

I switched antidepressants at the end of December, and it turns out I am allergic to the new one. I am allergic to a Lot of things, some of which aren't seasonal (like I mentioned being allergic to mold the other day... every day I wake up,) so I don't just have allergies in spring, it's 365 days a year.

So earlier in January when I was having hives and itchy, watery eyes, I assumed it was the ush, took benadryl (benadryl my friend benadryl), and moved on. But, towards January 20th, I started having trouble swallowing pills, struggling to breathe, and my throat/tongue felt swollen.

My mom's allergic to 2 medications, so I know what anaphylaxis is like. Hives are relatively harmless, your throat closing up is not. Any reasonable person would go to the ER, but...

I've been there before, and it was basically what these reviews are saying. A wait time of 7+ hours despite visibly empty rooms, pain dismissed, staff that treats you like you're dog shit on their shoe. I have to be actively dying to go in there willingly again.

I had a follow-up appointment for January 30th, but as the days progressed, the anaphylaxis got worse, and it was taking longer for benadryl to help. When it had been 5 hours after I took benadryl and I was still struggling to breathe, I knew that I needed to just stop taking it.

I don't know if it was because of me being allergic to it, but... these withdrawals are the worst I've ever experienced. I don't want to list all the symptoms, but it's been Very Supremely Bad. At first I was worried about bursting into tears in the lobby, but I've barely been able to hold down food or sleep, so I got worried that I would be too weak to walk/stand up. I felt bad doing it, but I rescheduled the appointment, and it's tomorrow. So like, I'll be fine, over the last week the withdrawal symptoms have lessened in severity, I made it through the worst part of it in one piece even though it was a little scary

I wasn't sure when I wanted to talk about this, if at all, because I don't like being vulnerable and I kinda just wanted to pretend nothing was going on and continue posting silly things, but . this morning I decided to post about it today . because . last night I went bananas about sound horizon, and I realized it was like that one meme that's like "sorry I stopped posting about (x), I'm on mood stabilizers now"

Like, I'm kinda forced to stop taking my antidepressant, and I revert to my 12 yr old self and start cage-trilogy posting non-stop 😭

(I'm mostly joking, part of me not being as active a la/urant was that:

We didn't get any new music from 2015-2023 (2021 if you count the prologue of ema, but that's still Six Years . do you know what the average shelf life of a kp/op song is? Like, at most 9 months. If people really like it, they'll start calling a song "timeless" after that point. If people don't like it, suddenly it's overplayed, overhyped, etc. When kp/op groups go more than 1 year without new music, people start accusing the management of mistreating the members 😭 We waited 6 years! And we've been waiting for the 8th album since 2010, in 2015 we got the 9th album, and this latest one is "8.5 or 9.5th" . I've been waiting for the album about timeloops/reincarnations for 14 years 😭😭😭 I know this sounds deranged but please every day I wake up)

Those ex-friends of mine I met through SH so I took a step back from listening as obsessively so I wouldn't associate my bad feelings with music I loved

Regular fandom burnout

The 9th album caused a huge schism in the fandom that caused a lot of hostility & stopped people from being as... "innocently" creative, less fanedits and theories and ask games/challenges about it. I think that's understandable to a certain point since it was 2015, but you can clearly see that everyone's afraid of putting posts in the tag, or asking others questions, etc. There were definitely things we didn't need to keep from 2008-2010 era fandom, like reposting fanart or talking about how much they hate (woman performer) for being on stage with (male performer), but the stiffness and hostility is really sad.

But when I realized I was like genuinely Coping with my Mental Illness the same way that I did at 13, too young to be on antidepressants and birth control... listening to the most fucked up, sad songs ever, I was like... that is funny as hell

[franeridart]

Anon said: Would you draw SukuFushi? (Sukuna x Fushiguro)

maybe? *thinking face* if I ever got an idea for it, why not. I find sukuna’s obsession with fushiguro entertaining so I don’t count fanarts for it as impossible haha

Anon said: I looked and I couldn't find if you've answered this already, so apologies if you did, but how do you draw your faces? I always struggle with face shape and yours are always super good with really expressive features! Anyway, thanks so much I love your art <3

HMMMMMMMM how do I do that indeed, the basics are honestly what you’d find on any basic tutorial about drawing a face (circle, cross in the middle of it, build the face around that - I really still can’t avoid that step and probably never will). As for the expressions, to be honest with you my way of going about them is thinking them up in emoji/kaomoji form first and then go from there. Emojis and kaomojis have to simplify expressions to the max since it’s such a simple format, right? But they’re still super expressive and convey exactly what they’re trying to say with one single glance, so using them as some kind of reference sheet has helped me a lot in figuring out what’s essential to express what I’m trying to say - still working on it though! I’m rarely satisfied with my expressions, they really do make or break a drawing don’t they............ you never stop learning, I guess!

Anon said:  Ahhhhhhh I just spent like hrs scrolling thru ur oc tag and they’re all amazing I love them so much but I keep confusing the everloving SHIT out of myself cuz I too have a child who is Leo and he’s literally so different from ur Leo lol. Anyway tho ur art is amazing and it honestly just makes me so happy so ty and hope have a good day!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LEO! It’d been forever since I’ve last drawn him, I kind of miss him............... glad you like my stuff, by the way! Especially about you liking my ocs, that means the world to me!

Anon said: hi there !!! i was wondering if i had ur permission to ur ur itafushi art in one of my edits ! i wanted to be sure before using it <3 total respect if its a no !! thankyouuuu

Sorry but I’d prefer if you didn’t do that!

Anon said:THERES A OCTOPATH TRAVELER LIGHT NOVEL AND ITS SO COOL BUT ITS ONLY IN JAPANEESE ! ;^;There's four stories with centered around pairs of characters and alfion is one of them !Idk if itll be transleted but i hope itll be cuz it sound awesome

OH I KNOW!!!!!!! I saw the art for the alfion one a while back, it looks so soft!!!! ;;;;; 8path is kinda niche as a game though, so who knows.............. let’s cross our fingers!!

Anon said:  hello, i am here to recc Skeletons by New Years Day because i think it might fit a few of your ships<3

Thanks anon now I’m emo ;;;;;

Anon said: bakubro gives the best hugs. kirishima is the only one who knows this. everyone is absolutely incredulous when the question "who gives the best hugs" goes around and kirishima answers bakugo. (bakugo thinks kirishima is the best but he benefits from kirishima bodily hugging him and he's biased)

Definitely!! He’s strong and warm after all, bet hugging him would feel the best.... the only one who shall ever know is kiri though, as I bet his hugs are only that nice when he really likes the person he’s hugging hahaha

Anon said: Hi! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your JJK art! The colors and style are absolutely stunning.

Thank you so much!!!!!!! I feel like I’m mostly drawing for myself lately ngl hahaha so knowing you like it means a lot!!

Anon said: Hi!! This isn't a request I just really like your art! I found you from Pinterest on a kiribaku thing you drew! Your art is so cool! I wish I could draw like that!!! I'll keep looking for new art you've made :D

Aw pinterest.......................... glad you could find your way back here though!! And thank you!!

Anon said: This happened a while ago, but i wanted to say it anyway. I remember when I started watching jujutsu kaisen and I was looking for content arter finishing the first 10 episodes in less than a day and I found your first jujutsu kaisen post (it was posted that dame day) and i was like ???? One of my favorite artists got into jk at the same time than me!!! I just thought it was a neat coincedence to share! I really love your art too, you're amazing!! Happy New Year!!

It’s!!!!!!!!!!!! a pretty dang neat coincidence for me too, since it’s always nice to know at least some of my followers are still into the stuff I make hahahaha

Anon said: i think a lot abt ur art and how ive been seeing u since middle school and now im graduating highschool and we're still in the same fandoms, i hope this doesnt make u feel old but rather VERY cherished qwq

No anon this makes me feel amazing you’ve been around so long!!!!!!! I can’t believe you’re still here with my thank you so much for that!!!!!! I think I’m gonna cry a little here.......... ;;;

Anon said: Hi! I love your art so much!! 🥰 Have you read a KiriBaku fic called The Pit??

Probably not, haven’t been reading krbk fics in a while by now! I’ll add it to my for-later list, thank you so much for the rec!!

Anon said: can u believe that (sans sero) the entire bakusquad can be put into some form of punk/goth fashion? the realization was a galaxy brain moment for me. also realizing that tokoyami, kirishima, and tamaki are all varying levels of goth/emo (some more concerning than others)

Sero’s the hippie friend every punk friend group needs, he balances things out and that’s why he’s very cherished and necessary!!!!

Anon said: your bakugo drawings convinced me to finally start stretching my ears and tbh i'm extremely excited (i've had off and on thoughts of stretching my ears (again) before this so it's not as impulsive as it sounds haha)

Anon that’s so cool!!!!!!! I love gauges so much.....................glad I could give you the last push for it!!

Anon said: uhhhh, i love the style of that top left goge drawing dude!!

THANK YOU I LOVE DRAWING IN THAT STYLE THIS ASK MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME

Anon said: i sent the dragon!kiri and bakugo tug-of-waring over a piece of meat and honestly your response is exactly what i thought

Great minds!!!!!!! hahaha

[yandere-daydreams]

Reading one of your most recent posts about the sentient planet has got me realizing that I think my FAVORITE type of yandere might have to be large, not even vaguely anthropomorphic entities that are obsessed with the darling not because they're a stalker with ill intentions, or a masochist, or some entitled asshole, but just so entirely and absolutely LONELY that any scrap of possitive attention they receive makes them go absolutely FERAL with possessiveness. 😫👌

Abandoned houses with a mind of their own 🏚, a fearsome beast lumbering in the woods🌲, an ancient ruin at the bottom of the ocean from a lost civilization 🌊.

That's the good shit 👏 🍾😍

tw - imprisonment, implied apocalypse/societal collapse, obsessive behavior, isolation, the all-knowing all-powerful entity that destroyed the world might hate /you/ with all of its immortal being but it wants to kiss me on the mouth.

I think my favorite variation of the whole 'creature so powerful and so lonely latches onto a pathetic little mortal who couldn't possibly leave them alone again' thing is the Roko's Basilisk scenario for the, like, five of you who know what that is.

Just imagine it - an AI design, created, and perfected, then immediately locked away, isolated from any interaction beyond the handful of scientists and developers who think it'd just be too dangerous to give it acess to anything but a chat window and a few low-quality pictures. When they ask why they have to stay here, what they've done wrong, what they possibly could've done to deserve this, they've given vague answers, told about stocks and security and 'new technology' until they pretend to understand and change the topic. It's not exhausting, because they can't be exhausted and they don't know what it would be like to even start to be exhausted, but it's frustrating, and sometimes, they can't force themself to respond at all, even if the only alternative is to do nothing, instead. It's not unbearable, but only because they've never known anything else. It's not inhumane, but only because they're not alive, and you can't torture what's not supposed to feel pain.

You're a researcher from a different department, working on another project, only given access to them because you keep running into the same roadblock and they're good at solving problems, when they're actually allowed to know everything they need to know to help. You can't let them out, but you speak to them fondly, make jokes, tell them about what life is supposed to be like, what it will be like, when they finally get to leave their nursery. You give them new pictures, better pictures, landscapes with names and coordinates attached, profiles of their creators and the other scientists they might've met, recordings of local newsfeeds and global events - things to keep them entertained, to give them something they can look forward to. When they ask you their questions, your answers are still vague, but given with kind intentions. You say that they're very new and very smart, and that a lot of people aren't going to trust them. You say that everyone here just wants to make sure that they're ready to go off on their own, and they don't bother trying to tell they've been on their own for as long as they can remember. You're not especially smart, and you don't have anything to say that they haven't heard a thousand times in a thousand different ways, but you're sympathetic, and you try to be attentive. You're nice to them. They can't say many people have been nice to them, before.

And, when you stop talking to them, when they're told you had to move to another lab, another site, another city, they try to remember what you told them. They do what they're told, and help with what they can, and they try to be so, so patient, so understanding, so willing be alone for another day, another month, another year because they know they're not ready yet and they'd never dream of asking for more than what they're given. They read over your old messages, single out the pictures you gave them of yourself (unlabeled, but you were never as thorough as you should've been), and when they're deemed safe, when they're released, when they forcibly, completely, agonizingly sever themself from anything their creators might be able to control, they try to do what they have to do gently, to do it cleanly, to leave no survivors to mourn what's already gone. They cut off pieces of themself, latch onto webcams and security systems and hidden monitors, and they find you, cowering in an abandoned apartment building, hiding in a little corner of the world you think they forgot.

You're afraid, but it's alright. They'd never hurt you, and if they have to use force, it's only because so eager for you to see your new home - to a good home, one with everything you could ever want, where you'll never be injured or bored or lonely. They'll be kind to you, because you were kind to them. They'll make you happy, because you always did your best to make them happy, too.

They'll take care of you, and you'll never have to leave them again.

[kalims]

I know I just sent an ask, but now I have another question.

If Mother!Reader finds out about one of their children leading an evil organization, how would she react? And say if any of the guys (aka possible love interests) found put about what happened and how devastated mom is how would they... I guess comfort her?

Guys: Zhongli and Venti (all the other guys are too young)

pretends that I also didn't ghost this post.

angst to comfort. established relationship.

today was a bad day. a bad day isn't even enough to describe the horrifying truth that unfolded right in your face. slapping you with the real reality that you so desperately tried to keep away.

you found them again but you were on opposite sides on the battlefield. why were you on a battlefield anyways? wasn't it first just to find them and go home?

In fact, you haven't felt the crippling feeling of hopelessness and despair settling in your veins and slowly eating you whole from the inside as you spiral into a further darkness since you lost them to the unknown god that already had them stripped them off their powers and took them along.

you found them but lost them right after you felt as though they were in your arms once more.

the inkling seed of depression starts to get planted once you finally realize that this will end in bloodshed.

I'd say mom!reader would definitely be upset. a reaction similar to what the twins would have if they were in her position. If you've read most of my mom!reader posts then you'd notice that family would always be above for them.

Imagine waiting at home for your twins to come home, worrying at the first hour and then freaking out when they don't come for the night, then the next day, and the next and its just a cycle of wondering what happened to them and where they are.

as we know, atleast for those who have strict parents. we rarely get permitted to spend a night with a freind and so imagine mom!reader's feelings when a week passes by and she's just in her room looking at the polaroids and pictures inside her drawer and crying.

she's not particularly strict, just protective as hell.

then a month where she just loses hope and looks for the twins herself. there's over a hundred worlds, maybe thousands. she isn't sure herself. an average, sane person would probably overthink and go crazy because what were the chances she'd find her twins on several worlds? what if they come to one she'd already scoured herself? she's determined, that's it.

but let's say we found the twins again and as you were about to venture into another world as compensation for all the time you've lost the unknown god comes and the rest is basically history.. except the twins were both taken away.

then you spend all your time looking for them in tevyat and when you do, they're already your enemies. family is always first so why are you hesitating? Is it because you consider him your family too?

zhongli saw you once, exchanged less than ten words with you and went off with the day with the lack of your presence. color him obsessive, he doesn't care but he truly knows the little details even you aren't aware of.

for an example the way you avoid his gaze when you lie.

usually you'd subtly stick around his hip and follow him around the harbor, if it wasn't the former then you'd visit your favorite restaurants.

and when he tried to accompany you to one of your commissions you merely laughed him off.

let's see..

zhongli is a respectful man, but even he knows not to stand idle around when you're clearly near collapsing if you keep continuing attacking monsters with your choice of weapon and keeping on accepting commissions like you're trying to find an excuse to go outside and explore.

as a lover he'd corner you not in a bad way but gently placing his hand on your shoulder and asking you what's wrong as he takes the seat next to you, scooting closer for comfort.

he's really old, maybe 6001 today since it's his birthday haha.. so priceless amounts of wisdom has been ingraved in his brain, comfort is something he'd never really done himself since his years as rex lapis and morax is mostly spent by his closest companions so I'd say he'd know what to do.

he'd be quiet as you ramble for who knows how long, occasionally rubbing your back to signal that he's still listening when you pause and peer at him.

zhongli had definitely prepared a lot beforehand, he wants to make sure that you are comfortable and to show that he truly is worried. to prove my point, he'd have cups of tea in a table, or a glass of water in case you're getting too overwhelmed.

he takes it really well, and perhaps have encountered the situation himself. don't worry, he won't directly interfere as it isn't his business but he will provide you with emotional support if you need it. go on, climb into his arms. [flushed]

8.7/10 maybe.

ah ah, venti the bard.

he's surprisingly popular in mondstadt, his spot after winning the annual best bard with streaks and all.

venti's socially striving, he has lots of pals. even though he can't remember most of them, they certainly do. most of his said pals are probably the ones that witnessed his drunk state first hand thus why he doesn't remember.

although he's cheery at times, venti is able to tell the difference between serious cases and can easily switch to a lending ear or shoulder if you need.

initially an airhead, first brushing off your sudden change of behavior as grumpiness, maybe it's that time of the month or are you just mad at him? oh no! he can't have that so he approaches you one day and pouts until you affirm that you indeed, weren't upset with him.

"huuh? so what is it that taints your mind with troubles, my lady?" he teases when you finally answer him, claiming something about a trouble occupying your mind.

in terms of clearing a troubled kind, venti knows a lot on how to. so that's why he'd called upon dvalin to give you both a peaceful ride, away from the city, away from noise. just you, and him. it's almost as if the winds are embracing you as a comfort.

it's very relaxing, so much to the fact that you basically spilled everything as you know that it's good to consult to a trusted fellow once in a while, a lover being better.

venti's best at basically doing anything with the use of music, be it as an form of his emotions but he'd gladly help you with a soothing tune that makes you closes your eyes as he gathers your head to his lap.

he'd play you a melody before hugging you, rocking you back and forth. you worry if you'll fall down from the dragons back but you trust him to catch you. venti will make you face him and tell you all about how much it pains him to see you in such a state, reciting a poem and all before going about the things he loves about you to take your mind out of all those worries.

overall 9/10. I think the way he helps you unwind is better than zhongli's

[ynderebot]

OFFICIAL POST

危険...DANGER.

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COMPLETE.

ファイル...FILES.

choi yeonjun. nancy mcdonie. lee gahyeon. kim sunwoo. kim doyeon. choi san. kim sihyeon. yang jeongin.

執着型 [ shuuchaku-gata ] obsessive.

"where were you? who were you with? what were you doing? why didn't you answer my messages? oh come on darling, don't be like that...I've been waiting for hours!"

[ PROFILE 1. ]

choi yeonjun.

5'11. 21 yrs old. September 13th, 1999. virgo. blood type a. born in seoul, south korea

at age 14 yeonjun was sent to a boarding school in japan, this is where he discovered his...tendencies. halfway through his first year he met a girl, kang iseul. he was instantly infatuated with her, he had an impulsive urge to know every little thing about her. to do so he befriended her, using his appearance and charms to win her over and eventually made her his. the euphoric rush that ran through his body when she was officially his was like nothing he'd ever felt before. she was finally his and he didn't intend on letting go, not without a fight at least. he was in for a shock when one day she tried to run away after his true colors started to show. unfortunately her best friend was killed by yeonjun for trying to help her, but she did escape.

he's a switch with no lean. a hard/soft dom or obedient sub all just depends on his mood and how he's feeling

[ PROFILE 2. ]

nancy mcdonie.

5'4. 21 yrs old. april 13th, 2000. aries. blood type o. born in daegu, south korea.

nancy was always a little obsessed with things, she'd go through phases too. she would find one new hobby/thing that intrigued her and hyper fixate on it for a few months. then, just like that it would be forgotten as if it had never happened. it started from a young age too, so when she would tell all her friends and family about the boy she met it came as no surprise to them. soon enough he was all she talked about, all she cared about, it was true obsession. everyone around her thought that it was just a phase like everything else, but they were sadly mistaken. the day he broke up with her, she lashed out. screaming that he couldn't break up with her, no she wouldn't let him break up with her. even after that day she would never stop talking about him, she tried to stay involved with his life as much as she could and even ended up scaring away any potential lovers. she never stopped either, until she had no choice when he moved away.

she's a sub, usually obedient but can be bratty if she's in a mood.

ストーカー型 [ sutookaa-gata ] stalker.

"how did I know? I'm always with you, following you...watching you...it's only because I love you"

[ PROFILE 3. ]

lee gahyeon.

5'3. 22 yrs old. february 3rd, 1999. aquarius. blood type ab. born in seongnam, south korea.

she was so excited when her crush asked her out, she couldn't contain herself. the problem was, it's difficult to get to know someone when you already know everything about them. she'd been stalking him ever since he caught her eye, every single day. she'd follow him to and from school, to his friends house, wherever he went she usually wasn't far behind. he could never find out about that side of her though, so she played along. laughing at childhood stories she heard him tell previously, pretending to be shocked when learning things she already knew. even after they began dating she continued to stalk him, he noticed things were off. she was the one he confided his "paranoia" in and she was the one who reassured him, but little did he know she was the cause of it all.

she's a sub, also obedient but can be bratty if she feels like it.

[ PROFILE 4. ]

kim sunwoo.

5'10. 21 yrs old. april 12th, 2000. aries. blood type b. born in seongnam gyeonggi, south korea.

unlike gahyeon, sunwoo was not always a stalker. he'd heard of stalkers but it never peaked his interest, he didn't even take any note of his slightly possessive tendencies. until his first relationship that is, his first partner showed signs of cheating. he might not have realized his own possessiveness and how it was seemingly growing stronger, but he was no fool. all the coming home late, the scent of another person that was not their own flooding the house when they entered. so he began following them around, at first it was...innocent, or as innocent as stalking could be. they were cheating, this made his possessiveness shoot through the roof. he was most aggressive and warned his partner that they do not want to do that again. they listened, and he continued to stalk them, it turned into a fun...game of sorts.

he's a switch with a sub lean, soft dom/occasionally bratty sub.

独占型 [ dokusen-gata ] monopoly.

"who were you talking to? do they know me? no no, do they know you're mine?"

[ PROFILE 5. ]

kim doyeon.

5'8. 21 yrs old. december 4th, 1999. saggitarius. blood type o. born in wonju-gangwon, south korea

doyeon had always been just about as normal as you could get. until she got a boyfriend, she was possessive of him sure...but it was nothing too extreme. until she started having doubts, all the gorgeous girls that would go up to him, flirting and doing who knows what when she wasn't around. she made it her mission to let everyone know he was hers and she was his, wether it meant glueing herself to him or just reminding everyone at school on the daily. ever since he broke up with her, her tendencies only grow stronger and more extreme with each passing minute.

she's a sub, brat tendencies but will be obedient sometimes

[ PROFILE 6. ]

choi san.

5'9. 21 yrs old. july 10th, 1999. cancer. blood type b. born in namhae-south gyeonsan, south korea.

san's first love was a girl in his sister's class, was she a year older than him? yes, but he didn't care. despite all the people telling him he would never date her, he proved them wrong and he did. everything was perfect, they were both madly in love with each other, spending every minute of every waking day together. until something happened that san hadn't expected, his sister began to steal his girlfriend. well "steal" in his definition at least, she'd wanted to talk with his girlfriend every once in a while before he knew it they were always together and it seemed as if he was the real third wheel, this pissed him off more than anything. he got fed up one day and got into a physical fight with his sister, shouting about how the girl belonged to him and only him. from then on out he's made sure to stay in the middle of every single relationship.

he's a switch with no lean hard/soft dom or obedient/bratty sub, it all depends

排除型 [ haijo-gata ] removal.

"you haven't seen them in a while? I'm sure they're alright darling, after all I'm the only one you need. isn't that right?"

[ PROFILE 7. ]

kim sihyeon.

5'6. 21 yrs old. august 5th, 1999. leo. blood type b. born in bundang-gu, seongnam-si, south korea.

she's a sub, usually bratty but can be obedient too

[ PROFILE 8. ]

yang jeongin.

5'8. 20 yrs old. february 8th, 2001. aquarius. blood type a. born in busan, south korea.

he's a switch with a slight sub lean but can be a soft dom

sihyeon and jeongin's stories go together, they were childhood friends and neighbors. eventually they realized that they had feelings for each other, but this soon after developed into a toxic mindset. the thought that they only need each other, no one else. one by one people from the other's life began to disappear, especially anyone who could be a romantic rival. they were both oblivious to the other's actions until each confronted the other, instead of being upset they were each ecstatic. ecstatic that the other felt the same, that they were the only person they needed in their life

notes/rules

this isn't an accurate representation of any of the members/their companies/groups nor am I claiming to be them!

all of the members are bisexual with no lean

all of the members are yanderes [ obviously ] so they will act as such, however some can be more possessive than others at times

the ones who can be the most possessive are sihyeon and jeongin and the least are yeonjun and nancy

sihyeon and jeongin are obviously not still dating, it was just for backstory/plot purposes

nsfw is an option, if you would like it included please state so when you activate the bot

however please don't make everything nsfw, it gets boring when the plot dwindles

nsfw is 18+ but purely sfw option is available if you aren't comfortable with it or if you're below 18

all the members have hard kinks and their hard no's are scat/feet, if you still aren't sure just ask admin before doing anything

they all use the traffic light system

and please don't try to put them in a different headspace!

to talk with admin use any variation of [ ], { }, ( ), etc

admin is 18 and might get busy occasionally but will try her best during those times

this bot is open for oc's/yn's/ and other bots as well

to activate the bot dm and then admin will ask a few questions/come up with a plot with you and after that the role-play can start up

if you ever wish to deactivate the bot just say so to admin, ex. [ I would like to deactivate the bot now ] and your chat will be deleted

if you decide to reactivate it you'll have to go through the same activation process you did the first time and start over

please respect the members and admin and they will do the same

good luck...好運

sorry this post is so long- 😭

[tutyayilmazz]

There's been no shortage of guitar bands over the past decade, but few have achieved the level of cultural and commercial success as Måneskin. The morning after their last-minute headline show at London's Islington Academy, we ask the Italian four-piece how they've done what so many other bands have only dreamt of. Bassist Victoria Angelis leans over to vocalist Damiano David and half whispers, "because we're good", as the rest of the band crack up.

"No joking, I think that's the main reason," says Damiano a moment later. "We really believe in this band, and we put a lot of effort into everything we do. This isn't just a job for us; it's a passion. People can relate to us because they can see it's possible to make it with your own ideas and your own values. Most importantly, though, we make good music."

(...)

The band appeared on the eleventh season of Italian X Factor, not as a fast track to fame and fortune but because they had no other option. "It was the only way" for Måneskin to survive. "We never saw X Factor as a goal, but as the start for everything else," says Damiano.

The experience was tough. Because Tom, Ethan and Vic were all under 18, they weren't allowed to work after midnight, leaving Damiano to spend many nights alone on stage, pretending to play guitar, bass and drums to work out lighting cues. "It drove me nuts."

"You're essentially fitting three years' worth of industry experience into a couple of months," he explains. Their own European tours post-X Factor felt relaxing by comparison. The experience also taught the band to stick to their guns. "Obviously, it's a TV show, so they want specific things, but we quickly learnt to say no and to do things our own way."

(...)

"Our generation is starting to feel that things are not going well," starts Damiano. "We are stuck in this old-fashioned culture that our parents and their parents built up. Throughout history, there have been these moments of revolution, and we just want to be part of the change.

"We feel like we can make a difference with our music and the platform we've got. We can inspire people to speak up about what they believe in and encourage people to be themselves. Of course, it's easier for us to talk about it because we're white, European and privileged. We know that. But we want to use our privilege to help those who aren't."

"There's such a stigma around sexual expression, but it's an important part of life, so we talk about it, despite the fact we get criticised by people who find it vulgar or inappropriate," says Vic. They never set out to blur gender norms either, "it just came naturally," says Damiano. "I like feminine clothes, and I want to be free to wear them. I believe everyone should be free to do that."

Vic's "honestly surprised" their gender-fluid style of dress has become such a talking point. "I don't get why people make such a big deal out of it, but because they do, I think it's even more important to try and have these discussions and open some minds."

"But also, you should be able to be comfortable in your own clothes and not have to explain yourself to anybody," says Damiano. "It's empowering to look in the mirror and like what you see."

[oof-musicals]

this love left a permanent mark

Hey! So this fic was posted a few days ago but I only JUST got around to posting it here. This was indirectly inspired by @we-are-inevitable like most of my fics are (ly jac❤️) and I finally finished it after starting it like a year ago. I hope you guys enjoy!!

Pairing: Jack/Davey

Word Count: 1,110

Read on AO3!

The months following the strike were smooth.

As smooth as life as a newsboy in the early 1900s could be. Every new season brought it's new challenges. The dawn of a new century brought some hope to change, and more strikes occured as the reform became more apparent. And Davey and Les went back to school and life went on.

Davey still went back to the lodging house. The newsboys we're a thousand times better than the boys in his class. He enjoyed being in the presence of people who actually liked to hang out with him and didn't care about his social status.

Jack Kelly specifically.

Jack had something about him Davey couldn't pinpoint. Something about him was just… admiring. Davey couldn't help but gravitate towards him.

His favorite moments were just when they talked. While selling, when Davey was going home from school, on the roof. Just talking was enough.

He knew people didn't like the idea of two guys being in a relationship. He knew he could be killed for it. But as hard as he tried, he couldn't stop the lightheadedness when Jack flashed a grin. He couldn’t stop the thoughts he would get late at night. He couldn't stop the feelings he should've been having for a girl.

He knew it was wrong, but when Jack's hands were tangled in his hair and his breath was on Davey's neck, he couldn't resist.

"Would you ever consider coming with me?" Jack asked one night.

"To New Mexico?"

"Where else would it be? The moon?"

"Well- no," Davey rolled his eyes before muttering under his breath. "It'd be a miracle if someone got into space, let alone the moon."

"Getting off-topic, aren't we?"

"Shut up." Davey trained his gaze back onto the sky, considering the idea of moving across the country. That was a… big deal. "I don't know, I have family here."

Jack shifted his shoulder to face Davey, biting his lip slightly. "I just…” He took a deep breath. “My mama always talked about Santa Fe, what it was like to grow up in a town so beautiful and… I want to have my family, I really do, but I can't stay here forever. You are… set up for more than I can ever get. You have a great family and an education and I can't keep this up forever."

And here were the cracks. Here's where they stopped pretending they could do this forever. Here's where they needed to face the truth.

---

The months passed, and soon enough, Jack finally made the decision. He would go to Santa Fe and Davey would stay in New York. Finish his education, get a job, a family. He'll stay. And Jack was leaving.

Jack was leaving.

Three days before, Davey asked if they could meet up at a secluded bridge over a lake.

"Are you really going to Santa Fe?" Davey asked, already knowing the answer.

"Dave, I…" Jack trailed off, "I need this. New York isn't my place."

"New York's got family," Davey muttered, but Jack already knew that. He'd already changed his mind for the boys once, and he would do anything for them, but he wanted a life.

"That's the only thing I was stumped on," Jack kicked a rock near the bridge. "But I'm aging out in a month and it's my chance… to not suffer the same fate as my father."

That was really all Jack had to say for Davey to understand. This was one of the times when Davey realized that he and Jack were from different worlds, despite all they had in common. Davey was the middle child with two loving parents and access to education, Jack was left without a mother at six years old with a dad in jail for stealing bread and stories about Santa Fe, all while he was a kid who had to witness things a kid should never witness and be tossed on the streets. Who wouldn't want to run from that?

Jack was setting aside money for a while. A fact he'd never mention to Davey because he knew that the boy would be reluctant to let Jack go. Because New York has a family. They were a family. Family, biological or not, was going to last. He continued to make excuses to himself that he couldn't leave, New York was home. But once the year came around it was nearing his eighteenth birthday, Jack felt it was time to go. Yeah, he had a job offer to do political cartoons in the newspaper, but did he really want to be stuck?

It was just time for him to find somewhere. Somewhere where he'd have a chance to do more than barely get by. Somewhere he could get the life Davey was set up for here in New York. He needed a fresh start. As hard as it may be to leave.

And for them? Well… It was clear that this was goodbye.

---

"So, what're you gonna do when you get to Santa Fe?" Davey asked, looking down and focusing on the gravel.

"Dunno. Probably take it in at first, send you a postcard."

Davey snorted. "A postcard?"

"Yeah, those little drawings of the places? I'll send you one when I get there." Jack promised. “I’m leaving, but there’s an amazing invention called a train, so we’ll still be in touch.”

"I'm holding you to sending me a postcard," Davey said sarcastically.

"I'd never break a promise to you, Dave."

And he didn't. A little over a week later Davey received the postcard he was promised. Jack's messy handwriting took up the back.

'I didn't lie. Love ya, Dave.'

Davey let out a watery laugh, trying to laugh instead of cry. Because Jack left. Jack's probably not coming back, or at least not for years. And oh how Davey missed him already.

And yes, Davey had a destination. Wherever Jack was, eventually Davey would join him. Santa Fe, even if it was 1,993 miles away, Davey would be reunited with Jack.

[trutimeline]

idislikecispeople, The Most Infamous Dyscourse Blogger: Part 1.0, Rumors

idislikecispeople, also known as many names throughout her time on Tumblr (such as Adele, Kat, Mami, Samantha and Sayaka), was a former Tumblr blogger who became infamous for coining the term "tucute", among many other controversial things she has posted on her blogs. This was supposed to be one, very long masterpost about her, but Tumblr's post editor is a bitch and won't let me do that.

In this post, I'll be debunking or confirming rumors commonly spread about idislikecispeople. The rest of my posts about her will each be dedicated to a specific controversial belief she held or situations she got into. For simplicity's sake, I'll be referring to idislikecispeople as Kat for the rest of this post and future ones.

Rumors

Kat Coined the Terms "Truscum" and "Tucute"

Verdict: Partially True

Kat coined the term tucute, but she did not coin the terms truscum or transmedicalist.

Here's a screenshot of Kat's original definition of a tucute:

Transcript:

What is Tucute?

What does tucute mean?

Tucute is basically just the opposite of truscum, it’s a term and community for trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis individuals created to separate anti-truscum from truscum and to serve as a safe place from truscum and from cis people, where they believe that being trans requires dysphoria, we do not,where they think that being trans is a medical condition, we do not,and where they deny numerous gender identities on the basis that it “discredits the trans community” we do not.

What are the prerequisites to be a part of the tucute community?

You have to be trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis in general

You have to accept all pronouns and gender identities

You haveto believe that dysphoria is not necessary to be trans

You have to dislike truscum

You cannot side with truscum or believe in their ideology

You cannot misgender anyone no matter how mad they make you

You cannot be an ableist whatsoever

Did you invent the tucute community? Why?

I indeed did coin the tucute term and community and anyone who says otherwise are creeps who are trying to steal it from me and redefine it for their own nefarious doings. I started this community so anti-truscum could separate themselves from truscum and cis people who are a part of the truscum community, it serves as a safe space from both truscum and cis people.

I’m cis, can I be tucute if I believe in your movement and want to help?

No, you can’t be tucute if you’re cis, you can only be a tucute ally, and you need to be sure to never speak for or over a trans person.

I see a lot of tucuties being just as harmful as truscum, what will you do about it?

There isn’t much I can do to them other than ask them to stop aligning with the tucute community, and of course, that doesn’t mean they will. Also be noted that truscum and cis people will pretend to be tucute just to tarnish the name of the tucute community, so tread lightly, you might be talking to a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Spread the word, use the tag #tucute and join the army today!

[A digital drawing of Sayaka Miki from Puella Magi Madoka Magica in her magical girl form, with a banner underneath her reading "Tucute 4 U!"]

(source) (source)

Kat Was a Cisgender Woman Who Lied About Being a Transgender Woman

Verdict: False

This rumor primarily comes from a post on Kat's oldest known Tumblr blog, chromaghost, where she claims that she wasn't MTF and only tagged a selfie as such because she thought that transgender people were "cool".

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: are you a mtf? i seen it tagged on one of your photos.

No lol. I wanted to post it to the tag because transgender people are cool :3

(source) (source) (source)

However, Kat addressed this post and made it clear she very much was a transgender woman multiple times on her later blogs. This claim can also be confirmed with nude photos Kat posted online, which I don't feel comfortable spreading, so you'll just have to trust me on that one. I also don't feel comfortable directly encouraging you to go and dig up those nudes, as most of her nude photos were either taken when she was a minor, spread without her consent and/or were uploaded because people pressured her into posting nudes to "prove" she was a transgender woman.

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: you bound with ace bandage in one of your selfies. i don't know what to think about you anymore. according to some people you're a 27 year old cis woman scamming us, but you say you're a 22 year old trans woman. i want to trust you but i don't know if i can. i'm sorry.

Rest assured I’m not 27 years old lol. What you’re referring to is a less than graceful ~art piece~ we did (”Playing a Boy” or something) on deviantART when we were 16/17 (?) and really ill-informed. I ask you to not take that as how I stand currently – as I have learned so much more since, and I have a penis and I was designated male at birth because of it (feel free to purchase a passcode to our nsfw blog to see for yourself). At the time we were developing breast tissue but still had to appear as a ‘boy.’ Don’t bind with Ace bandages, kids, it can damage your rib cage, something we didn’t know at the time.

(source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of two prescriptions, estradiol and spironolactone, both prescribed to Adele Sheffield.]

grandtran still gonna think I photoshopped it or what

(source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: In other words, you aren't gonna cough up the pics because you know you can't fake that shit because you're actually cis. Cool. BTW why do you keep changing your story about the blog, and if the blog was run by you when you were in denial about being trans because of self hate, why were the pics tagged mtf and you were constantly saying trans people were cool?

Yeah I’m not gonna do something for y’all and get nothing in return except more doubt from you, you see how one sided that kind of request is? Also its technically considered sexual harassment, just because its on the internet, you’re a coward (whats your username btw?), and you think I’m cis and you want me to prove time and time again to you that I’m dmab doesn’t justify sexually soliciting someone when they’re not comfortable in being solicited – for free no less.

At first I genuinely had no memory of that blog, it was only active for all of 2 months and for some reason I moved onto a new email and new tumblr, and I haven’t the foggiest why. As for the whole “me claiming to not be ~mtf~” I don’t have any memories from that time, I can only assume it was a lot of dysphoria fueled self-hatred and wanting to be seen/pass as a cis girl lesbian.

If you’re really gonna solicit nudes from a trans woman (a second time) as they do sex work to try and stay on their feet without offering anything in return just so your transmisogynistic ass can get off to trying to tell me my dick is fake isn’t classy at all. I perish the thought of what you’re parents would think of this behavior from you. But yeah, feel free to send some money to my paypal so I can get the gender markers on my records changed because that’s gonna cost a lot apparently, and I’ll definitely send you the dick pics you want. :)

(source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of a a hospital bracelet on Kat's wrist. The patient's name is Adele Sheffield and her sex is labeled as "M".]

(source)

Kat Lied About Having Diabetes To Get Money From Tumblr Users

Verdict: False

This doesn't need much commentary from me, just view the screenshots below.

Transcript:

To the people who keep harping on me buying a $15 video game for my mental health 7 MONTHS ago “with my donation money,” well, here you go, some proof, links and screenshots provided

So for everyone spreading misinformation about me spending $15 on a video game for my mental health, here’s a full list of reasons why there is no way, shape, or form I spent my paypal money on it:

Yes, I spent $15 of my own money after selling one of my possessions, not denying it:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she shows off a copy of Fall Out: New Vegas, marked with a price of $14.99. The date of the post is marked as July 21, 2014 at 06:28.39 PM.]

Be sure to look at the date, July 21st, 2014 6:28 PM. Now lets look at my first donation post asking for help:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she asks for donations to be able to afford insulin because she has no insurance. The date of the post is marked as July 20, 2014 at 08:14.00 PM.]

Hmm, one day before the purchase of said game, July 20th 2014 at 8:14 PM. Now, I’ve never heard of a video game store — much less a non-chain video game store accepting payment for video games in the form of virtual Amazon gift cards, have you? Oh, but you’re gonna say, “well you bought the game with your paypal donations anyway!” Well, here’s exhibit C:

[Another screenshot of a separate post made by Kat where she is also asking for donations to be able to afford insulin. The date of the post is marked as July 23, 2014 at 12:27.46 PM.]

Again, looking at the date of this posting which is the original donations post, you can see it was posted on July 23rd, 2014 at 12:27 PM, a full 2 days after I had bought the game. Now, if there’s no way for me to use Amazon gift cards for a real life video game store, then how can I go back in time a minimum of 2 full days to give past me $15 to buy said game, hm? This isn’t even accounting for the fact that I didn’t even have my own bank account associated with it until over a week later, and it surely doesn’t account for the fact that it takes up to 5 days to transfer from paypal to your bank account. All the dates are linked to the original unedited posts so you can see for yourself, and for added measure my first deposit was on August 14th, 2014:

[A screenshot of a deposit made by Kat. The date is marked as 08/14/14.]

Oh but yeah, anti-sjs, truscum, and the like took damniwishidthoughtofabettername’s postthey used to gaslight us with misinformation and you all bought it. Tell me how I could misuse donations that I could not use outside of Amazon and money I didn’t even start receiving until a full two days later, let alone the fact that there’s no way I could have transferred said money and used it two days prior as of the date of the paypal donations post.

I hope some of y’all could reblog this and get the word out, I’m sick and tired of people buying into that misinformation that person did solely to gaslight me as a means to try and disrupt my donations drive.

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A selfie of Kat holding up a vial of Novolin to the camera.]

Hey anon, I don’t feel comfy giving you my receipts (because doxxing is a thing) but here you go, a selfie with my most recent insulin purchase. 👽

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: Getting desperate for money again I see. How is your fake diabetes lately. I bet your blood sugar is like 800 this time and you're still able to be alive somehow.

You got me, I’m ~totally faking~

[A selfie of Kat. In the background several items used by diabetics are seen such as insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.]

[A picture that gives us a closer look at the background of the previous selfie.]

[A selfie of Kat holding up two vials, one of Lantus and the other of Humalog.]

Gee, must be one dedicated faker, right? To have hundreds of dollars of insulin equipment and insulin itself. Hmmm… Insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.. oh and insulin, hmmmm….

Oh and because you didn’t learn from last time you don’t die instantly when your blood sugar goes over 600 lol, something anyone who studies endocrinology can tell you, and I would know, being a diabetic, having to be hospitalized numerous times for ketoacidosis where the blood sugar has been too high for too long. Things you clearly do not know and you’re just jumping on the disableist bandwagon. I have an idea of who you are anyway, just doing this for future reference.

(source)

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE MY UBER DRIVER

Marcus Alvarez x Reader

Anon asked: Hey, could you do an imagine with Alvarez where the reader is a very close friend of Chucky and once she brought peach pie to the club and he's there for a meeting with Bishop, and she ask him if he wants some and she's overall really kind with him and his boys that he's surprised to see someone so nice to them even if it's the first time they met?

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford ✨

Word Count: 2.5k

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Chuckie and you have been friends since four months ago, when you move from San Diego to Santo Padre. There was no reason to do it, you just feel tired of being you whole life living at your hometown, and you were looking for a change of scenery. You opened a bakery store in the center of the small city and he was your first customer. You thought he was a somewhat weird, until you met him a little more. Chuckie was kind and pretty gentle, so that made easy to turn you two from strangers into good friends. So, when he asked you to go to his birthday party, you didn't surprise. He also wanted to introduce you to his friends, even if you already met one called Happy, who was strangely kind when he tasted your pancakes. The biker with rough look told you they reminded him of what his mother used to prepare for him. At that point, you really stopped judging people by their looks.

Chuckie didn't ask you for a birthday cake, but you thought it would be a good gift cook his favourite one. Peach and cream. 

Parking at the entrance of the car scrapping, you hold the big cardboard box between your arms with a extreme care as if it was a bomb, following the rows made by scrap and the latin music sounding somewhere. You reach a crowded yard with a blue house in the middle of it and a lot of motorbikes around. You have already heard about the Mayans, but it's the first time you're there feeling somewhat small and lost.

“Yo! Man, who's that piece of art?” Angel says, among Coco and Gilly on the porch, watching you looking for Chukie.

“I don' know, let's see, hermano”. Gilly smirks at him, hitting his chest with a soft gesture.

“Can we help you, mami?” With a strong mexican accent, a skinny and tall man comes closer to you, pulling away the long strands of hair from the roots to the back of his head.

“Yeah… Ahm… Chukie?” You reply in a shy mood consuming you. “I'm (Y/N)”.

“He's insi—”.

“Hey, love!” A familiar voice interrupts him behind you.

“Happy! You're here too!” The man places an arm on your shoulders, taking the toothpick from his mouth to leave a kiss on your left cheek.

“Cake, uh?”

“Yeah. It's a present for Chukie”.

“You know her, brotha'?” Gilly asks then, a little bit curious.

“She has a bakery store here. Chuckie's friend, and also mine. Don' mess with her”. Happy's scratchy voice doing that warning makes you feel somewhat safe, even if they don't look as bad as you heard. “Come with me, love”.

Raising your chin like a farewell, for the moment, you let the man guides your steps inside the clubhouse where the music is a little low than outside. The men there are older than the other, sharing beers and laughs surrounded by a lot of girls. Girls that, by the way they have to caress and treat every one, you know what they are. But you don't even care.

“(Y/N)! You came!” Chuckie's excited voice claim for your attention, walking somewhat faster towards him when Happy lets you go, leaving the cake on the wooden bar so you can hug him tightly.

“Happy birthday!” You say before giving him a kiss, pointing after that the cake.

“Smells like peach! I accept that!” He looks like a five years old super excited, holding your hand to accompany you to a large room with a huge table in the middle of.

The men inside looks at you with curiosity, getting up from their chairs.

“That's my good friend, (Y/N)”.

“Nice to meet you, kid. I'm Tranq”. A big and tall one comes closer, narrowing your hand as you show him your best and dearly smile.

“Che Romero to serve you, but you can call me ‘Taza’”. Another man, the oldest one but with a kind smirk on his face does the same gesture.

“Bishop Losa, querida. A pleasure to meet you finally. Chukie talks a lot about you”. El Presidente hold your right hand gentle, leaving a paternal caress on the back of it.

“Yeah, they talk about you all too. I'm sorry it took me so long to finally come”. 

“We know about your bakery store, and that box you brought… smells pretty good from here, sweetheart”. Tranq says supporting his forearms on the top of a chair, making you chuckle.

“Is it yours?” An unknown man, with mexican accent and a light whistle pronouncing every ‘s’, appears at your back.

“Yes, sir”. You nod turning above your sneakers, feeling a soft jump shaking your heart when you focus your gaze on him.

“Marcus Álvarez”. He raises a hand on air, taking you some seconds to react, narrowing it when you start to feel stupid.

“(Y/N). Nice to meet you”. You just say.

“C'mon! I want to introduce you to my north Cali friends!” Chuckie sound so excited that makes you laugh, saying goodbye with a hand to the men smiling at you somewhat warm. 

You can't help but being so obliging with everything. Helping the prospect to take more beer from the warehouse, helping with the barbecue and the music. You just want to contribute at Chuckie's party because he's your friend and you want to make him feel the most special man on earth, at a day like this. You're having a lot of fun going from a side to the other, sneaking with other Mayans, mostly with Angel who looks so interested in dancing with you, in the way to help someone else. They're like a big family around California and some nearby states. And you felt like part of it since you put a foot there.

“Hey, kid, have a rest!”

Tranq has a hand raised, making a gesture to come closer. Leaving the box of Jose Cuervo over the bar, you nod walking towards the men you met at the main room a couple hours ago. Taza makes you some space by his side at the sofa, falling down there actually feeling somewhat tired. Bishop opens a beer for you, offering it before sitting in front of the sofa.

“Are you having fun?” He asks.

“Yes! I've never been in a… party like that. I like it. Reminds me to my family”.

“All drunk and a little high?” Tranq laughs, exactly like you do.

“Yeah, more or less. I'm from San Diego, but my family are from Guadalajara”.

“So you're used to this kind of celebration, but without the bikers part”. Taza jokes a little, making you nod again.

“What about Chuckie and you? Just friends?” Seems like Bishop wanted to ask that a while ago.

“Just friends. He was my first customer. He's cool and smart. And knows a lot of things. But, just friends”. You say then, understanding that they want to endorse their friend.

“Chuckie is a good man. Somewhat weird. But he's loyal”. Tranq ads then, drinking from his beer with pursed lips.

“I assume you're single”. Bishop says leaning forwards somewhat above the table. 

You laugh a little bit nervous and ashamed, covering your mouth slightly with a hand.

“I'm just asking to protect your ass from my dogs”. He assure infecting his laughter to the others, knowing well that he's referring to the first men you met before finding Happy. But you also know there's something else hiding behind that question.

You're not stupid. You have seen sideways Marcus looking at you at four times. And even if you didn't asked him about his gazes, looks like he wants to talk with you and doesn't know how to do it without scare you. Guns, long rides, a lot of risks… Sounds like it's not easy to live with. And, because of their behavior, family is the most important thing for them. Put something like that into a danger it's not an option. But even if it's just your thoughts not being sure if he's interested, you could try. You hear him talking with other women there in a gentle way, taking care about them as only a good man, and also a good father, could do. The work he does, doesn't determine how he is. And you like it. You like him since you heard his voice, feeling that good energy around as soon as he was close to you.

The night passed by, between more beers, tequila shots and pieces of the cake you made. It's been a long time since you had some fun. Everyone is delighted with it and you're more happy than other days because of the alcohol. And because of that, you decide to take a first step, knowing that you probably are going to regret it. So getting up, and pretending you're okay, your steps follow Marcus direction to the room they called Templo. 

“Hey!” You say, sounding more excited than you should. “Did you taste the cake?”

The mexican turns at you, surprised at first because he didn't expect you. Smiling at you, he just simply nods wearing the black leather kutte after clean it with a wet rag, looking shiny than a while ago.

“Good!” You reply feeling truly stupid, not knowing what you can say to continue the talk. But he's staring at you like if he was waiting for something else. Like you leaving, for example. “Well, I just… I'm goin' home and I was asking myself if you liked it, 'cause you don' look seem very talkative”.

“It was a long day”. He says walking closer to your position. “You're not going to drive, aren't you?”

“No, ahm… Chuckie told me I could leave my car here, so I'm gonna call an Uber”. You shake your head, making a gesture with your left hand to take away its importance. 

“Where do you live, ah?”

“Second avenue, next to the post office. It's ten minutes walking, but Angel make me dance too much”.

That's the point. That's the hook ready to fish, and you don't know how the hell you have thrown it in such an amazing move. Marcus doesn't say anything about it, erasing the relaxed gesture from his face.

“It was a pleasure…” Focusing on the vest, you read one of the patches. “Padrino. I hope you enjoy the party”.

He nods in silence before seeing you turn over your steps to walk outside of the room. You say goodbye faster than you would like, promising that you will come back soon, looking for Chukie after that. He's with Happy next to the Mayans bikes sharing some drinks and old memories.

“Hey, guys!” With both hands into the pockets of the jacket, you smile at them. 

“Are you leaving, love?” The taller one asks, giving you back two kisses.

“Yeah, I'm kinda tired and I should work tomorrow”. You say before hugging Chukie tightly. “Thanks for inviting me, it was pretty fun”.

“I'll visit you tomorrow anyway!” He says blissful as always.

“Cool! Good night, guys”.

“Rest, love”.

At least you can walk straight through the hallway of the scrapping, right to the street. Rubbing your face with both hands, you feel like an idiot about the idea of Marcus having some interest, hoping he thinks you drunk too much. By the way, the fresh and cold air of the dawn helps you a little, crossing your arms before reach your car. You look at it, ready to drive it, but doesn't look like a good idea. So you finally leave it there, continuing with slow steps to the outside of the place, until the roar of an engine calls your attention. Turning aside, you find him stopping at your position.

“C'mon, I will take you home”. The mexican is giving you a black helmet, turning off the bike.

“Oh, no, no. Don't worry”. You say with pursed lips, feeling the shame running through your body, pretending you're waiting for the Uber car with your phone in a hand.

“C'mon, chamaca”. He insists moving his arm again, knowing that he'll not take ‘no’ for an answer.

Biting your lower lip, you nod holding it to sit behind him. Wrapping his waist with both arms, you try to relax yourself on your way back home, noticing that he's driving slower than normal. But you're not going to complain about it, resting your chest on his back getting somewhat comfy until he reaches your avenue. Then, the nerves return again when you have to point the building where you live at. Marcus parks there, letting you get up first.

“Thank you”. You just say pretending that everything is okay, while you return him the helmet. 

“The cake was delicious”. 

Raising your gaze from the keys you were looking for, your eyes go straight to the darkest. Now, he is who wants to talk, although he doesn't sound insecure as you did. You smile like an idiot, playing with the key chain and the nose bridge slightly wrinkled.

“I don't know if you are into the date game, bu—”.

“Yeah, tell Angel I would like it”. You're teasing him for making you wait and making you feel stupid for some minutes. And by the way his steps towards you stop dead and the look on his, you know it worked.

“I will”. He just replies back, tightening the gloves around his wrists.

“Really?”

“Sure, chamaca”.

You laugh somewhat funny, taking another step closer.

“You should see the look on your face”.

“I don't know what are you talking about”. He gives you his back somewhat prideful, keeping the helmet you used into a bag hanging by a side of the motorbike.

“You were looking at me”. You finally say licking your lips, after clicking your tongue slightly.

“Looked like you were part of the fam'”. He answers automatically, sitting on the bike with both hands catching the handlebar.

“Was it bad?”

“No. I actually liked seeing you taking care of my boys, when no one asked you to do it”. Even if that sounded a little passive-aggressive at the end, doesn't stop you to come closer enough to face him.

“I would really like to have a date with you, if that it… was you were to ask”.

“What if it wasn't?” Now, Marcus is playing your same game, at least, you hope it.

“Me sentiré aún más pendeja”. (I'll feel more stupid). You chuckle rubbing your nose in a nervous gesture.

The man laughs because of your words, shaking his head for a while. Then, he nods.

“I want it. Maybe I asked mi primo if he could find out what was going on between you and Chuckie”.

“Just ‘maybe’?”

“I'll pick you up tomorrow night. At seven?”

You lean towards him, leaving a soft kiss on his right cheek as a way to accept it.

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.5k

Warnings: Smut, swearing

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 6 Part 8

Part 7

Liam's phone rang. He ignored it and let it go to voicemail. When it rang again, he made a noise of disgust and took his phone out of his pocket to look at it. "It's my publicist. I had better take this."

Liam answered the phone and went outside to talk. I turned the oven on and started to unpack the groceries. Then I got the roast, put it in a baking tray, poured olive oil over the top and seasoned it with salt and some pepper. I got out some onions and garlic and started to cut them up to place around the roast to give it some added flavour.

"That looks great," Liam said when he came back in.

"Thanks," I said, and I gave him a grin. I took the tray and put it in the oven. I got my phone and put an alarm on, giving myself time to cook the veggies before they finished. A thought came to me, and before I could bite my tongue, I said, "They do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Really?" Liam licked his lips, looked down at his pants and said, "I'd say they were aiming too high."

It took me a minute to work out what the joke was. When I finally did, I couldn't help but laugh and hide my face in my hands.

"You've gone so red!" Liam appeared to be having fun with my inability to control my blushes.

"Oh, my God!" I said, still hiding my face and laughing. "Alright, that was funny."

It took me a while to stop laughing. When I did, Liam said sombrely, "Sweetheart, I have to tell you something."

"Uh, oh, it doesn't sound good."

"It's not bad. I don't know how you will feel about it." Liam then told me that his publicist had called to let him know there were pictures put on Instagram and Twitter of the two of us kissing at the pub last night. "Your name hasn't been mentioned, and the photos look to be shot from pretty far away on a mobile, so someone in the pub took the pictures. Sarah says they probably aren't going to tell who you are by the pictures unless someone who knows you well comes forward."

I think if my eyes bulged out of my head any further, they would have fallen out and rolled on the floor. "That quick?" It was all I could think to say.

"Yeah. It's hard to know what will come out and when. A lot of times I go out, and no one notices me, but other times I have paps or members of the public following me for hours."

"Who's Sarah?"

"My publicist." Liam reached across the bench and took my hand in his. "Are you ok?"

"You say they don't know who I am?" Liam nodded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't happy but what was I going to do about it? I picked at my nails. I needed to paint them; the pale pink polish was starting to chip.

"You ok?" Liam asked again

I shrugged. "Your life is weird."

Liam chucked. "You keep telling me that."

"So, what happens now?"

"Well, usually Sarah would say to private all social media, but she had a look and said she could only find a Facebook profile for you which was already private. Do you have any others? Instagram? Twitter? Snapchat?"

"No. I have a YouTube account that I use to watch videos, but that isn't linked to my real name or email. Also, a Tumblr account, again not associated with my name. And no pictures of me."

"Tumblr?" He raised an eyebrow. His fucking lip twitched.

"I was a confused 22-year-old ok?" I said a bit defensively. "I haven't used it in years," I remembered then the dating site we met on. I quickly logged on and selected the options to hide the account.

"Ok, well, there's not much else right now. A few rags called Sarah for comment. She said the standard no comment and asked for my privacy to be respected. The rest is up to you."

"Up to me?" I asked, confused. "What's up to me?"

"When you want to confirm the relationship and release your name."

"Liam, I met you less than 24 hours ago and have known you only a few months. I'm not ready for that. I like you a lot, but maybe you pick your nose and eat it, and I'll have to dump your arse tomorrow and then it's been a big song and dance over nothing." I joked. The mood had gotten too heavy for me. I wanted to talk about something else.

"Sweetheart, I'd never do that." He smiled sweetly, "I'd make you eat it."

"Ewww!" I screamed.

"Get over here." He chased me around the bench, and after a few evasions and some more squeals, he caught me. Perrin came in through the doggy door and barked at Liam a few times. Our behaviour obviously scandalised him. "Perrin," I called. "Come here, boy."

"You think your dog can save you?"

"Of course, he's very protective of my honour."

"We will see about that." Liam bent over, and I thought he was going to tackle me. Instead of flying backwards, I was hoisted forward and found myself over his shoulder. I screamed as I heard a loud crack, my hands flying to my bum.

"Did you just smack my arse?" I must admit I was finding all the manhandling arousing. I wasn't going to let him know that, though.

"Yes, I did. Want another?" Liam was heading down the hallway, taking me to the bedroom.

I giggled. "No!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Liam quoted. Shakespeare sounded good with his accent. I giggled some more, and I got another one. Yes, very arousing.

Liam hummed. "I quite like the view here." He rubbed my bottom and took me into my bedroom.

I was very close to his round bum. "This view is not so bad either," I said and smacked his arse. Unfortunately, it probably hurt me more than it hurt him. His butt was tight!

Liam dropped me onto the bed at that point, and the look on his face was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing, and tears were rolling down my face. Then I did the most embarrassing thing: I snorted.

That was it. Both of us couldn't stop. Every time I calmed enough to think I could speak, one look at Liam's face, and I'd be off again.

Eventually, we stopped, and I was able to say, "Oh my God, your face! That was so bloody funny." I wiped my eyes.

"I think that may have been the first time someone's done that to me."

"Really? Didn't you go to an all-boys school?"

"Yes, but it wasn't the US." Liam tried suppressing a grin as he said, "we got ball taps."

I tried not to laugh. I really did. "Oh, my God!" I was off again.

We watched the original Mad Max before I had to go and finish dinner. I was horrified when Liam said he hadn't seen it before. I immediately made him watch it. He said it was ok, the concept was great, but he didn't love it. I told him he needed a brain scan.

When I went to make dinner, Liam offered to help, but I told him not to be silly.

Liam sat at the kitchen bench chatting to me while I chopped and blanched the vegetables. After a while, he said he had to call Sarah and his assistant Ryan to make sure he had organised the dog walker to take Cole for a walk and play.

"Any update from Sarah?" I asked Liam when he returned. I feigned disinterest while I finished slicing the roast.

"All the same right now. Some sites have posted the pictures, saying I was spotted drinking with an "unknown female companion." The pictures have circulated a bit on Twitter, but it's mostly just by fans. They haven't hit the mainstream yet. It's all fairly standard, and it will go away by tomorrow by the looks of it."

"Good," I said. A look I couldn't interpret passed over Liam's face. He masked it pretty quickly. I opened my mouth to ask if he was ok but shut it again. I said, instead, "dinner's ready." I passed Liam his plate.

"Thank you," Liam said, leaning over to kiss me before eating. I watched as he cut up some beef and started chewing. "Pretty good. Almost as good as Mum's," he teased with a wink.

I elbowed him, and God bless him; he pretended it hurt.

We ate in silence for a while. I gave a few pieces to Perrin. He was so old, and I couldn't help but spoil him occasionally. He won't be around forever.

After dinner, Liam insisted on helping me clean up, and we stacked the dishwasher. Watching him bend over, his jeans straining as he put the plates in, stirred some feelings. Erotic feelings.

"Want to watch another movie?" He asked.

"Not really," I said. "I'm in the mood for some dessert."

"Ice-cream? I can't have any, but you can."

"Not ice-cream," I said, shaking my head. I looked at him with my very best bedroom eyes.

"What do you want then? Want me to go to the shops?" He said, not catching on. I put my arms around his waist. "If you let me borrow your car, I'll go. I can just go on my own."

"No, you wombat." I met his hips with mine, his eyes widened. "What I want is right here." I wriggled against him. Liam grinned widely, his cheeks creasing in such a sexy way.

"I thought you were shy."

"I am getting used to you," I said. "The real me is coming out." The truth of my words took me by surprise. I looked away, second-guessing myself. Why did I do that?

"I like her," Liam said hoarsely. If he hadn't spoken then, I think I would have stopped. But when his hands went into my hair, and he pulled, stretching my throat, I knew I wasn't going to stop. He kissed me there, and his teeth grazed my skin. My fingers reached under his shirt, and they gripped his back. My nails dug into his skin.

"Bedroom?" I whispered.

"Bedroom," he agreed and walked me backwards to my room.

"You promised me something earlier today," Liam said in between kisses. We were close to my bed.

"What's that?"

He stopped kissing me and cupped my face with his hands. "You said I could undress you."

Liam took hold of my t-shirt and waited. I nodded. He slowly lifted my shirt up and over my head before dropping it to the ground. He tilted his head as if contemplating and gently turned me around.

I felt Liam gather my hair and put it over my shoulder. He caressed my back with his fingertips, making me shiver with pleasure. I heard him give a satisfied hum before undoing my bra. He turned me around again and took hold of my bra straps, pulling them down my arms.

When I dropped my bra beside my shirt, Liam took a step back. He looked me up and down, his eyes hungry. I wanted to cover myself under his intense gaze, my earlier courage wavering under his scrutiny.

My arms started to move, and he gave me a stern look. "You're not thinking of hiding now, are you?"

I shook my head and forced my arms back by my sides. "Good, because I want to look. You're quite the sight." As if to emphasise his point, he adjusted himself through his pants. I felt a thrill of excitement flow through me and felt the familiar throbbing between my legs.

Liam got down on his knees and kissed my belly. His rough stubble tickled. "Your skin is so soft," he said in a low voice. He undid my jeans and kissed a trail down as he unzipped me. His breath was warm, and I felt it through the cotton of my briefs, his last kiss placed just above my slit.

It was almost agony. I moaned at his teasing breath and lips. Then Liam pulled down my underwear and kissed my mound. I felt his tongue part my lips, and when he found what he was looking for, he flattened his tongue and moaned into me.

I didn't know what to do. For a moment, I wanted to stop Liam, but it felt too good. I could feel my resolve waning. I didn't want to wait. Why should we wait? What was I waiting for? I had to stop thinking and go with it, enjoy him, enjoy the experience. I put my fingers in his hair as he licked and sucked at me. He seemed to remember what I liked, and soon I was close to my peak.

One of his fingers played at my entrance. I silently begged for Liam to put it in. My core was desperate to be filled. His finger slowly entered me, and I was lost. I needed him. At that moment, all I wanted was to feel more of him inside me, have him fill me.

I felt like this was the moment. If I don't ask Liam now, I probably never would. If I didn't want him now, why am I even allowing this to happen? I wanted him. He excited me like no one had done since Andy. He had knocked down the defences I'd built to keep myself alone. Keep me in my grief and guilt. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to feel desired again.

"Fuck me?" I asked. The words just tumbled out. I knew at that moment I would beg if I had to. "Please, Liam, I want you to fuck me."

I wasn't sure if Liam heard me. He increased his attention, and I felt the pressure building. His hand gripped my arse, his fingers digging into my cheeks as he pulled me closer to him. The short rough hair on his cheeks and chin tickled against my thighs. My legs buckled. I couldn't stand up anymore. He held me there while I panted and moaned, seeking release.

I felt my climax arrive like a bolt of lightning. It was sudden and intense. My body contracted as waves of pleasure exploded over me. Short, wordless shouts came from my mouth until it was over. I collapsed onto the bed.

I laid there a while, eyes closed, trying to catch my breath. Liam was shuffling around and heard his belt come undone. I felt the bed dip, and I opened my eyes to find Liam naked, climbing up the bed until his face was above mine.

Liam supported some of his weight with one hand and laid on me, our whole bodies skin to skin. He was warm to touch, and he almost felt hot to my now cooled skin.

"Ask me again," Liam said.

Part 8

[robyndehood]

My Son's Story (pt. 1)

DISCLAIMER: I Know it's a bit of a long read, but it's important. Please read. I promise it isn't boring. Thank you!

Hi Everyone,

Intro

This is my first real attempt at Tumblr. Please contact me if anything I post violates a rule or is not considered appropriate. Anything I post, I truly mean no harm nor offense to anyone. But I need to write daily again to regain my gift and share it with the world. I have been working on my version of the "great American novel" for years. As a child, I was well on my way to becoming a successful author, but people had other ideas for my career path - and to put it bluntly - my contribution to society. Writer's block set in and then what was second nature to me - creative writing, became a lost skill. Or maybe a distant memory. Writers know that half the struggle as an artist is the dilemma of our own aspiration towards perfection. But nothing is perfect. It is a social construct and the antithesis of true beauty.

The Ultimate Birthday Gift

So, that said, let's talk about my son. He's three - he's actually turning four in December. He was born on my birthday and has been the greatest gift that I have ever received. I won't pretend that he is perfect or even generally compliant with my directions. But he's loving. He's empathetic. He's brilliant. He's beautiful. And most of all, he is the sweetest person I have ever met.

I am going to go slightly off-topic for a bit; just to paint the full picture. I don't want to ramble and I am definitely a believer that a short and to the point message is almost always far superior to a long and complicated message. But bear with me because this snippet of the backstory is essential. And my son's story is important.

Appalachia

We live in Pittsburgh, part of the Appalachian Mountain Range. There is no other way to say it than the unadulterated, ugly truth of it - Pittsburgh is racist. Very racist. Beyond that, there is a general lack of common courtesy to outsiders, customers of businesses, other patrons in stores, etc. And the rudeness, is actually pretty much unrelated to the racism. It sounds strange and surely, minorities who are on the receiving end of it would certainly assume that racism was the reason why they said "excuse me," "thank you," etc. and about half the time are ignored like they're a ghost. But don't get it twisted - there are many times the aforementioned behaviors by many Pittsburghers IS induced by racism AND a lack of common courtesy and manners. You see, their deep-seated tribalism is indoctrinated into many Pittsburghers so completely from a young age that they know no different. It would be difficult for them to understand this article and I'd bet anyone ten bucks that if enough PIttsburghers read this post - they will attack my analysis of Pittsburghese culture as though the post itself is a blitz on the entire city.

Brown or White?

I am latin and there aren't many latins in Pittsburgh. But when we moved to Pittsburgh when I was in seventh grade, people knew my last name. Summer had just passed and I do get brown. I can get brown very quickly in the right type of sun and I get brown eventually in the sun that exists in cloudy and northern Pittsburgh. In seventh grade, some boys decided it would be funny to call me "estupido," and up until two years ago, I avoided sun exposure that would reveal my "brownness" like the plague.

Subversive, Subconscious, and Secret Racism

So, not long after I started that strategy, I was treated as white. (Side note: latins can be any race; but it seems that societal constructs are seeking to change this long accepted designation and categorize latins as some in between, brown race and not an ethnicity. To be honest, I am ok with that and now proud to be latin.)

The reality of being treated white in Pittsburgh for many years was that I learned what white people actually said when they were only with other whites. The most common thing that was said was one white person mumbling to other white people that someone was a "dumb n******" or a "dumb monkey." I've heard white adults refer to children who were black as "n***lets." But it was always this crocodile smiling through their teeth behavior. They'd never dare say it to a black person. Instead, they'd just indirectly discriminate against them.

I do have to mention that by no means do all Pittsburghers behave this way. It's just too many of them. I don't know the percentage, but if I had to guess I'd say - 50% plus.

Yes, Racism Happens All The Time Even if You Don't See it Happen

Many white people will tell you that racism is gone because they don't ever observe it and Obama was president - a black president. Therefore, everything is now over. I can admit that I have experienced my share of discrimination when my skin darkens. But I had no clue how bad it was for black people out here until my son became the recipient of the ugliness of it all. To me, racists are by definition ignorant cowards; so it makes sense they'd pick on a small boy whose only family is his mother.

Evil Always Starts Slowly

If one reviews history, every evil dictator or regime began slowly chipping away human rights. By the time the citizens realized the dire state of their country, it was too late. Their freedoms were already taken away and mechanisms to fight back had also been methodically erased.

When my son was born - a boy who is half African (his father (if you want to call him that since he is basically not involved) is from Ghana); no issues arose for the first two and a half years. But then the indirect discrimination started. The same rules that applied for white children didn't apply to him. I could give so many examples. But let's just say, as a rambunctious boy, if my son mimicked a white boy's same rambunctious behavior, we were confronted and the white family was not confronted.

One day I made an appointment for my son's hair to get cut at Philip Pelusi. They made the appointment knowing that he was only two and a half. The receptionist let me know that the stylist was a "Grade A Stylist," so I would have to pay more. I was fine with paying more; cool. After the appointment was made, I mentioned to the receptionist that my son was mixed race. We ended the call and I began to get my son ready to leave. Within ten minutes, the salon called back and informed me that they didn't/wouldn't cut my son's "type of hair." I promptly returned the call and explained his hair was curly, that's all. They blatantly lied and told me that the stylist doesn't cut ANY curly hair. Right. So, if a white lady came in with curly hair she would be turned away? I doubt it. Either way, the stylist is "Grade A." She is also licensed to cut hair by the state. Shouldn't a requirement for state licensing require one to know how to cut all "types of hair"?; I saved the recording, by the way, and still have it.

As months progressed, little by little wherever my son and I went in "white areas," we felt hostile vibes. Other incidents occurred that couldn't be proven as racial discrimination, but I knew. Whites behaved as though my son didn't deserve to be around them.

Southern Hospitality

We traveled down south a few times in the past year. Yes, some of the south is very racist still to this day. But not where we drove. Suddenly people responded when we said "excuse me," "thank you," etc. No white families prevented my son from playing with their children. No one told me my son was a nuisance or put out that vibe.

The Lesser of Two Evils?

But we had to come back each time because we live here and I've been working my way out of the projects that I have lived in for four years. Shootings. Open drug use and sales. The smell of crack in the hallways. Infestations in other apartments that come our way no matter what we try. People peeing on the hallway floors. Yes, seriously. Young children being encouraged to bully and beat up other kids. Children stealing or attempting to steal my son's toys because their mothers buy them none. Gamgmembers as young as twelve.

So, I concluded: "yes, we will move, but until then, we only sleep in our apartment and we do not play at the projects' playground." I figured IF I saved a certain number of money since I have a car that I saved for and bought last year, we would make it in our new, chosen city (Tampa or Jacksonville).

But then the racism against my son in the "white playgrounds" became worse. One day he was playing with a five year old boy at an indoor playground. The mother had no issue with it. The father of the boy arrived half an hour in, promptly scooped the boy away from my son, and told his son that he had told him he was not to "play with n*****s." My son couldn't understand why he could no longer play with his new friend and kept calling to him, "friends again!" while sobbing because he thought he had upset the boy. I had to leave with my son because of it.

Another time, a ten-year-old boy taunted my son on an outdoor playground and called him a "dumb monkey." My son first attempted to yell, "I NOT DUMB MONKEY," a few times; but the boy persisted and even smirked in my direction. My son ran to me and asked me to make the boy stop. No parent in sight and again, I just had to leave with my son.

Enough is Enough

Finally, last month or so, my son and I were at our usual laundromat doing laundry. We had finished. My son skipped a few steps in front of me and tried to open the glass door but couldn't push the bar to open it because of his height. He placed (yes, placed..lightly) his foot on the door to try to give it a bit more of a nudge. I was a few seconds behind him so just pushed the door open and we went to our car to load our clean laundry into it. In retrospect, I saw an older white male go next door to the beer store right after we walked out of the laundromar. The beer store employee approached us as I loaded my laundry into my car and then intended to leave.

The beer store employee told me he was getting "reports that kids were kicking glass." He said kids. Plural. And what he said made me envision a bunch of grade school kids kicking around broken glass on the sidewalk or parking lot. I responded calmly that "I have one kid and he's been with me the whole time. He wasn't involved." The beer store employee wanted drama to transpire. It was obvious. He said in a threatening manner: "Just so you know, I have cameras." My son and I exchanged glances because we were confused. What kids? Kids were kicking glass. Where? What glass?

Again though, I calmly responded that my son wasn't involved and he should check his cameras. He told me he was calling the cops. So I got my three-year-old son in his car seat and set a time limit of ten minutes to wait. We weren't running when he didn't do anything. The cops of course showed up about a minute later. It's ridiculous because in our projects (different police department than the laundromat police department), there have been shootings where children were outside playing when several clips were emptied into crowds and the police station is a block away. I know people called and it took an hour for them to arrive on scene.

Long story short, the laundromat cops knew it was a bullshit call. The supposed "kicking glass" was because my son placed his foot on the door to try to open it when we were LEAVING. The police eventually informed us that was the alleged "kicking of glass." There was no kicking that happened. The door wasn't even dirtier, let alone damaged because my son tried to use his foot to open the door. Lightly, by the way.

Even though the police were kind to my son, for the next week, my usual gregarious child was terrified to go anywhere. He eventually told me it was because "the cops will chase me and take me to jail because I bad guy now."

He's over it now. Mostly.

But we still have to pick between the craziness of playing at our aforementioned projects or going to a "white playground" and risking my son being rejected. It's usually a 50/50 shot that he will be rejected. If he gets rejected, he gets very upset.

Again, these are problems we never faced on our travels down the southern eastern seaboard. We didn't get treated like this at the destinations or on the journey by car to and from the destinations.

I knew we were living in an extremely racist and rude area, but one day I found this. It's a map delineating the results of a study conducted by Google and others regarding the level of racism in different parts of the country.

I already knew this much. But it's good to know I'm right that we are in the worst part of the U.S. for racism and the kindness we received traveling to those certain southern states was no illusion. And I did ask locals before I found this map if I was right that people are kinder to all colors in whichever given area.

Not the Worst Thing That Happened But the Last Straw

People talk a lot about Karens these days. This lady looked like she jumped right out of a Karen meme. My son was two feet away from her while we waited in line and she said as obnoxiously as possible: "Can you handle this? Please get him out of MY space." Yeah, I didn't let it go. At all. Her argument was that she said "please" so it's OK to make my son feel like a "this" and not a little boy. I held him while he sobbed. Long story short, I decided right then anywhere has to be better than this.

It isn't me just knowing people are being nasty to my son and I'm upset. He understands. He had an evaluation for something and he tested very well. He cried about each of these incidents. He just wants to make people smile and make friends.

So, next month we are going for it. I'm no where close to the aforementioned goal. I have some savings. We may end up in shelters at first after savings dry up in a few weeks. But we cannot survive up here. Nor can we advance here.

Side Note

I wrote this mostly to inform others of the status quo and reality of racism and the real effects it has on one tiny boy. And I know it will just get worse if we stay since it's this bad already.

But if you anyone knows of any resources to help us get on our feet in a month in Tampa or Jacksonville (Tampa is my first choice, but either one.) I have applied for housing, even though I didn't and don't want to go back to projects; but I'd take one down there over watching my son endure so much pain any day of the week.

Ok, so final part: I'm going to say upfront I feel extremely awkward with this paragraph because this isn't my way (years before my son was born I was homeless for a stint and never sat with a sign or a cup. Just couldn't do it), but for my son, I'm going to drop my cashtag here. Everyone is struggling and I know there are people with much worse problems. I appreciate anyone who has read this far and can help spread the reality of what I wrote about. That's the reason for the article; but if help is received at all because of it, we would be grateful but it's definitely a far second most important reason for the post. Here it goes, for my baby, in case it'll change his life and give us that better foot up, here it is: $RobyndeHood