#- adjusting to being more by myself

[lit-in-thy-heart]

been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.

[adhderall]

well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.

also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever

(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )

[chiimeramanticore]

[e8luhs]

being traumatized is crazy. ive been living in the same metaphorical home in my mind for the past 22 years and i am finally moving out and now that im moving out im looking at that old home in my mind and im going "oh my god the floorboards are rotting out there are leaks everywhere the ceiling is caving in theres black mold theres roaches in the walls how did i live like this for so long and not realize something was direly direly wrong" but it is because that house was all i have known. the maladaptive coping mechanisms and the incredibly fucked up rewiring of my brain is all ive known for 22 years and im only just now realizing how deep it goes

[mellotronmkll]

I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard

[thecedarchronicle]

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[ganonfan1995]

2022 - 2023 has been such a traumatizing and painful time period for me. I say this every year, but I’m going to work extra hard investing into myself and my craft!

Learning to write has been such a fulfilling outlet so far and I really hope to have something complete to show for at the end of this journey. I have to remind myself that picking up new skills is a process and every step forward is a step to improvement!

I’ve always dreamed of being able to tell stories and I really want this year to be the year I make that happen.

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

[collectate]

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[upwards-descent]

I know I'm a dedicated Gale Gay/Enby but Wyll deserves more love, dude is like the best thing about every Disney prince in one package, dude is the kinda guy you dedicate a page of your journal to just writing his name over and over surrounded by hearts and shit, I don't see any explicit Wyll hate but I don't see nearly enough Wyll appreciation ♥️

[ayyponine]

Art update fr january! Two classes dropped bc of holidays and then two more i skipped due to being too tired frm work (SALES...) but. im getting there!

[mars-ipan]

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

me when character finally starts to feel like a CharacterTM and not some abstract statistician

[jrueships]

um. so i ended up waking up around ghe time i would've went to work originally before the like 9hr email notice of the shift change per manager that is STILL not changed in the schedule... and it started downpouring and storming smthing awful lmao. ... wtf ??

[hirazuki]

In happier news, I may have solved my can't-write-longfics issue...

Turns out, I just needed structure; who could have ever possibly thought? XD

[skitskatdacat63]

Yeah sure I need to watch FP1 at 6 am today, but instead of trying to sleep, I am instead starting Long Way Round again, comfort show fr <3 🤭