#- real life needs

[christadeguchi]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[lastoneout]

the whole guilt-tripping language in posts about important topics paired with how I'm still getting bitches in my notes talking about why it's actually good to tell "bad" people to kill themselves continues to prove to me that a lot of people have absolutely no concept of social justice or activism outside of assuming the worst of and then viciously attacking strangers on the internet

[ribbittrobbit]

these kids are incredibly stressed out

[jedaos]

he gets it he really does

[wotchernewt]

cool new life series! very serious very dramatic!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[and-fishing-equipment]

imagine being real rashid and you work for these weird gay vampires and one day they come to you like hey rashid we're gonna give you a little holiday! armand will take over your duties for the time being, for a cool disguise during my interview, not a kink thing :) and you're like okay these are my weird gay vampire bosses so it probably is a kink thing but who am i to judge. and then you find out they are roleplaying this weird exhibitionist slash master/servant scene with your own real actual government name. fuck interview with the vampire, interview with rashid WHEN??

[hinamie]

truth is, I used to dream about boys like you

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[gravegrime]

Are Ỷ̸̢̢̖̺̞̠̩̰̟̗̘͎̤͌̋̌̄̑̔̋͗͐̐̕͜͠Ŏ̵̢̜̺̯̫̜̍U̷͎͔̤̩̥̫̺̱̞̞̩͉͂̽͛̑͗̐̐͐̍̊̂̋͛̊̕ ready to see the mind boggling mystery behind door number 1!?!

I am blown away by how endearing @gooseworx and Gltich Production's pilot for The Amazing Digital Circus was! You should check it out NOW!

[isjasz]

Real life best series hands down /J (some very messy doodles while watching LOL)

[wolfiemun-official]

Shadowheart got tuckered out while repairing the farm

Not to fear! Lae'zel and her red hen, Quiche, will make sure she's safe while she sleeps 🐤

[buckleydiazmp4]

no but the thing is. they KISSED. on screen. it was a real scene, not deleted, not removed from a script, it HAPPENED in front of the world's eyes. and AND the actors are normal about it and the whole cast and crew is normal about it and it's not vague and it's IMPORTANT. no matter the rest of it and what came after it, it happened!!

[monsieurenjlolras]

feels like something a debate moderator shouldn't have to clarify for the former U.S. president

[lazylittledragon]

i’m slowly going full clown and i’m ok with that

[dan-ish]

Cale's sloth test

Alberu: someone is stuck in the sloth test? Well , it couldn't be Cale Henituse, that man always talks about being a slacker but he doesn't know how to relax, it could be anyone but him...

Raon : This is my human!! I can feel his powers inside!!

Alberu: WHAT!?

Cale in the so called sloth test : (working to get info from CJG , fighting hunters , revealing the secrets of his past and kind of skamming the test to leave only when he wanted to go; totally not relaxing or anything obviously) Yeah, I'm the boss here stupid test .

[mossy-paws]

Dopplegänger

Uh oh.

(Og Photo:)