#-Casually adds to the list of ideas I'll never get around to writing-

[darkspace7]

Somehow, combining a few of my favourite tropes (throwing randos into situations way over their head and found family formation via feral vigilante youths and their reluctant but just as chaotic guardians) have somehow resulted in the following: the vicarious need for a phantom thief spiderman.

And who am I to ignore my gremlin-brain impulses?

Enter: Pitch Warker "The Glass Arachnia"

• So this spidey wasn't "bitten" in the traditional sense but was instead pricked by a cursed bejewled spider-broach thing. (Think something along the lines of that shitty mask from JoJo part 1.) Maybe this happens when they go on an errand to, idk, deliver lunch to their Uncle Mais -who works as a security guard at the "New Londattan Gallery of Art"- at the bequest of their Aunt Benita (who are local Aunt May/Uncle Ben variants but cisswaped/roleswaped for some reason?)

•Okay and so while on this normally easy errand somehow the two of them get caught up in a jewel heist with some mook trying to get at the "Glass Spider" (a polished silver & garnet broach with a diamond decal so clear that it looks like glass) and that's what gets this ball rolling.

•The spider jewel apperantly has some legendary curse associated with it. Something about how "the blood shed in the darkened night shall beholden to whims of the fanged court albeit at the cost of forever being ensnared upon their shadowy throne." And so during the scuffle our little wannabe hero tries wrestling back the jewel from the thief but gets scratched in the process. Getting blood on the diamond activates the curse (which for...plot reasons...can only have one bearer at a time?) In the confusion the crook tries takes aim at our hero only to be pulled back by Mais. The weapon misfires hitting the man in the process.

•As expected, Uncle Mais kicks it while the mook takes the opportunity to abscond with the now useless gem leaving a traumatized kid behind for the cops to (not) deal with. (Also because this is New Londhatten, where the only cure for bereavement to either lock yourself away in mourning clothes and drown yourself in absinthe & gin or find a sketchy religion) Aunt Benita kind of dips off for a while to (not) deal with being newly widowed, and so our newly cursed spiderling takes it upon themself to find out why this happened and (hopefully) avenge his relative's death. And what better way to catch a thief is to become a thief yourself and find a way lure out the other? Not the healthiest of coping methods but whatever, it's not like the police are gonna believe some kid coming up to them and spouting on about 'cursed gems' and magic abilities' right?

•I'm thinking of a fancy victorian gentleman thief/steampunk-themed "spider" suit. Something distictly regal and vaugely unearthly to fit with the more magical aspect of the origin as opposed to the usual techno-organic radioactive superhero sthick. Maybe a nice white suit with an gossimer capelett and attached hood. Coupled with an interwoven reddish-silver spiderlace design as the (bulletproof) vest. A spider-shaped broach (perhaps modeled after the "missing" Glass Spider?) Pinned to the neck, a dashing caravat matches sticky-palmed gloves (that somehow never manage to leave a smudge.) They compliment the ruby-tinted lenses of goggles set in that strange porciline mask. Oh and of course what gentleman is without his multi-purpose utility cane (now with retractable grappling hook!) Really, stark white clothes and clacky heels don't mean a thing when you can become the shadows themselves.~

•After not only attracting the attention of the New Londhatten police but managing to snag the attention of other interesting characters as well. Like: Lady Jamie Joan Jameson, a gossip reporter desperate for the next breaking scoop on that 'dastardly snitch-thief Glass Arachnia' with a fondness for that queer little bookbinder who always seem to have their head stuck in some little tinkering thing this or sewing project that. Or Mikelangleo "Mike" Jones, the lovestruck youth with a massive pining for the bespecticaled little bookbinder, whose dry (and often unintentional) sense of humour and keen intellect continuously sends his heart a-flutter. (Such a shame that said bookbinder is completly uninterested in Mike's advances & any and all attempts at disuading the other have -through a continuing comedy of errors only sought to bolster the himbo's impression of the other. A misunderstanding like this would probably easily be solved if there was just a moment of direct communication but when has a phantom thief been direct about anything?) Luckily Gunther Stetson, current owner of Bugel's Books, resident "guy-behind-the-curtain" (Pitch's words -not his-), and the only (self proclaimed) sane man, runs interference.

•And after a while of doing this thieving gig the cursed spiderling hits paydirt. It turns out the mook who stole the Glass Spider was actually part of a larger scheme by this shifty organization to steal away cursed gems and use their powers to do horrific and unspeakable things. Also, something about getting enough of them and it equal immortality. Somehow? I mean what kind of name is Sinistrum Orichalcium, anyway?

•Gunther: "So yeah, that's bad and someone reasonable and totally equiped for this should probably go stop them? Right? Right?? [Of course it has to be them, damn it all Pitch...This is only going to end poorly.] (He was right. Oh mercy, he was right. The youth watched as the body of his ((only)) friend slipped off the crystiline horn of the rhinocerous-beetle-that-was-once-a-man. A lunge forward, torn glove outstreched as the hand r e a c h e d o u t. Metalline claws dug in ((burning agony it hurt)) and rapidly drug his form up and away. He writhed against the restraint, razor blades that drew him back again and again as solid steel scales absorbed the blows. ((Let me go let me go please I can't reach!)) Cackling as groping fingers wriggled under the dirtied white of his mask and ripped it away ((his shield, his safety nonono!)) Recognition. "So this is what you really are little spider. Even now you try to bear your milkteeth." A derisive snort as a gnarled tendril cupped his face an mockery of care. "Poor little Pitch, who would've expected the simple bookboy to have such a storied life?" Everything he had worked for, all that he had sacrificed was now crumbling around him as the other went on, "Feh, you are as brittle as the pages of tomes you peddle and as fragile as the Glass you come from." A contemplative look and the porcaline shattered. "Now look at your ruins and weep.")

• When it rains it pours. Thanks to the combined efforts of the Sinisturm Orichalcum, the New Londhattan Task Force, and Lady Jameson, our hero is now not only wanted for numerous accounts of thievery, breaking & entry, and other assorted stuff related to his vigilantism but now Pitch Warker aka the Glass Arachnia is (erroneously but not that they'd take his word for it) on the list for no less than three counts of battery, assault, & murder. The Sinistrum and their allies basically have been given free access to all of the remaining gems that they need to complete their plan and the city itself. Oh and Mike hates him now. So he fine. He can totally handle this solo. Not like he's the reason his close loved ones are dead and a bunch of villains are going to become supervillains that he still somehow has to stop despite being public enemy number one. Yep. Totally.

•(Spoiler: He is not fine. The spiderling is very stressed and needs a break. Not his supposed villain origin story. Let our adhd boi rest.)

[alirhi]

...goddess help me...

This fucking episode. *deep breath* This... This episode is where I'm expecting to get some serious hate. Let me just get this out of the way right up front:

I. Hate. Zemo.

I do not find him sympathetic, or funny, or charming. I find him creepy and annoying. I did not like him in CA:CW and I do not like him in TFATWS. If you are pro-Zemo, you are not going to like my version of this show from here on out. Just find something else to read and don't bother me about it. You've got the actual canon, so go enjoy that.

Got it? Good. Now, on to the main event!

Episode 3: The Power Broker

First of all, Sam doesn't let Bucky walk in there alone. No matter Bucky's (flimsy and nonsensical) argument, Sam's like "hell no. I go in with you, or you don't go in." The main reason for this isn't to keep Bucky from breaking Zemo out of prison (with decent writing, he would never do that) - it's so that Sam witnesses Zemo taunting Bucky with/about the trigger words. because Zemo is a piece of shit.

Since he doesn't know the full story, Sam is confused, but he files this interaction away to ask Bucky about later. He's listening to Zemo acknowledging that Bucky was "not conscious for most of [his] imprisonment" (which, yes, clearly refers to the time he spent frozen, but can also mean while he was under their control as TWS/"The Asset" - also, key word: imprisonment) and when he calls Bucky a means to an end, Sam scowls, looking ready to go off on him, but he waits. They've got more important issues.

Neither of them entertains the thought of breaking Zemo out for even a nanosecond. He does that shit himself. And literally the only reason I'm sticking with him getting out at all is because I want to address some truly egregious moments linked directly to him in the show. Zemo makes them think he's setting them on the trail when really he's just sending them to his motor pool. Bucky and Sam are confused until they see Zemo in his stolen guard uniform, then they're both angry and want to ship him right back to prison, but he strikes a deal with them: "My help for my temporary freedom. Creating super soldiers cannot be allowed to continue; let me finish my work, and then do with me as you will." He has no intention of going quietly back to prison, obviously, and they're not stupid enough to believe otherwise, but they believe they can keep him on a short leash, so they agree for now. Anything to bring down the Flag Smashers and whoever created them.

After the title, we cut to Raynor on the phone in her office. She's agitated, fiddling with things on her desk. "No, sir," she's practically growling, "it was disrupted. - Walker did! - It's not my fault your new attack dog got off-leash!" She pauses, huffs, and says more calmly, "No. Of course not. I'm sorry. - Well, I don't see how, with the new Cap strutting around barking orders! - What am I supposed to do? Tell Captain America in front of a dozen witnesses that he can't have his predecessor's favorite pet because we're not done reprogramming him? I didn't see that going over too well. I made a call. - No. No, no, no, we can still use him. The work's not finished, but he still trusts me. He'll be back." A pause as she listens. Angry again, she snaps, "What do you want me to do, shove a tracker up his ass? He'll be back, and we'll pick right back up where we left off! - Don't worry, sir, the Asset will be fully compliant and ready to use soon. I'll make sure of it. - Yes, sir. You, too." She hangs up and tosses her phone on the couch, grumbling, "Dick."

Cut back to Sam, Bucky, and Zemo getting going on their trip to Madripoor. On the plane, Sam wants to talk to Bucky about what he's learned so far, but doesn't want to bring it up in front of Zemo... until the notebook incident reminds him that Zemo already knows more about Bucky than he does.

After Zemo's line about the list, Sam angrily corrects him: "You mean people HYDRA used The Winter Soldier to hurt." When Zemo shrugs and his response is basically along the lines of "what's the difference" Sam is like "oh hell no."

"Those words you were reciting at him," he reminds Zemo, "what were they, Russian? They clearly meant something. They were supposed to do something. What are they?" "Sam, let it go," Bucky pleads, unable to look at either of them. "It's nothing." "You wanna drown in your guilt, that's fine," Sam snaps, "but make sure it's for the right reasons." He turns back to Zemo, who's smiling at this exchange because he's a monster and thinks Bucky's suffering is fucking funny. "I asked you a question, Zemo. What did those words do?" "They activate the Winter Soldier programming," Bucky grudgingly admits. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he's sure as hell not going to let Zemo speak for him. "Or, they did, before the Wakandans got all that shit out of my head." "It's a shame," Zemo says with a smirk. "Imagine the possibilities that come with perfect obedience." "I think you mean 'slavery'," Sam growls, "and I think you're in the wrong crowd to be looking so pleased about it. Remember that we can send your ass back to prison any time." "Of course," Zemo agrees, but with an arrogant smile that shows he doesn't believe for a second that these two have any real power over him. Still, he bides his time and sits back quietly, watching Bucky fidget with the notebook. Sam turns back to Bucky, seeing his discomfort; he won't let the topic go, though, not yet. He just softens his tone. "So, they 'activated the Winter Soldier'? What exactly does that mean?" Bucky shrugs, still not looking up. "Pretty much what he said - perfect obedience. What little consciousness they left me between cryo and the chair was squashed down, locked away. And I did whatever I was told, exactly the way they told me to." It finally clicks. He'd had his suspicions before, of course, but now Sam gets it. Visibly horrified, he stares at this quiet, broken man, and finally sees the truth of what he'd been through for 70 years: "They stripped away your autonomy. Shit, Bucky, they didn't even let you be a person. That's..." He swallows, looking like he'll be sick any minute. "That's awful, man. I'm so sorry." When Bucky tries to shrug it off and downplay it again, Sam gets angry. "Look at me!" He waits; it takes a few seconds, but Bucky reluctantly looks up and is surprised to see just how upset Sam is on his behalf. "It wasn't your fault. None of it. When Steve said you didn't have a choice, I had no idea... You really, truly had no choice; not even the ability to choose. That's horrifying." "I doubt it would make much difference to the people he's killed," Zemo points out snidely. "Or their families. Let's ask Tony Stark, shall we?" "You shut the hell up," Sam growls. He watches Bucky flinch and make that face - the face he's starting to really fucking hate - that says he agrees with Zemo. Bucky still can't see things the way Sam does; he still feels the guilt and shame, and even when he himself pointed out his lack of agency under HYDRA, it didn't click for him that Sam is right, not Zemo.

It's too much, too soon. Sam sees that and decides to change the subject, to give Bucky some time to process. He nods at the notebook, and they have their little Marvin Gaye debate, where Sam is over the top about it on purpose, because Bucky needs the distraction.

Of course, Zemo ruins it by opening his big mouth again and reminding Bucky of more trauma: his time fighting in WWII. That's why Sam latches onto the bit about Madripoor; to keep the focus not only on the task at hand, but off of Bucky's past that he clearly still can't cope with.

"James... You will have to become someone you claim is gone." Sam is officially ready to throw Zemo out a window. 😂 The only reason he doesn't jump to Bucky's defense again and basically tell Zemo to fuck himself (in a PG-13 way 🙄) is because Bucky's, as Sam pointed out in ep2, a grown-ass man, and because he's just learned how few decisions this poor man has been able to make in his life. Sam doesn't want to come across as another "handler," deciding everything for him, even if he does think this plan is stupid and needlessly cruel.

At the bar, when asked if he wants "the usual", Sam just casually waves the bartender off like "nah". Zemo already said they had business to attend to, so it's not like anyone would be suspicious that now's probably not a good time to be doing weird shots lol. (wtf even was that? I'm not sure I want to know, but...what part of the snake did he drop into that drink?)

Sam's not an idiot (I'm really so sick of this trend of turning intelligent characters into morons because the writers can't think of any other way to move their plot along) so his cell phone has been off this whole time. No sudden call from Sarah to put them all in danger. There was really no point to that, anyway; Sharon likely would have killed Selby for talking about Nagle with or without the excuse of "saving" Sam and Bucky. I mean, it's not like they know who fired that shot, ever.

"They cleared the Bionic Staring Machine," Sam still jokes, but he follows it with, "and they think he's a mass-murderer." "They think?" Sharon stares at him incredulously. "Didn't he kill pretty much everyone he's ever met?" "Wow." Sam glances back at Bucky. "She really is awful now." To Sharon, he adds, "You met Steve; do you really think he'd have defied 117 countries to protect someone evil?" "He did it for Bucky," she points out. "Let's face it - Bucky could blow up half the planet, and Steve's loyal-to-a-fault ass would still take a bullet for him." "You know I'm sitting right here, right? I can hear you." "Look, I don't think you're evil, Bucky," Sharon assures him. "But I know you killed a lot of people for HYDRA." "I'm not denying it." "He didn't have a choice," Sam snaps, glaring at them both. "But we're not getting into that right now. My point is, the government's afraid of Bucky, and they still pardoned him. All you did was steal something. I'm sure they can be persuaded to see reason." "The day the US government sees reason," Sharon quips, rolling her eyes, "is the day I sprout real wings and fly off into the sunset." "Careful, Icarus," Bucky mocks with a smirk, "the sun and brand new wings don't exactly go together." Then he shrugs and glances at Sam. "But she's not wrong."

At the party that night, it takes a few minutes (grumpy old man Bucky's not sure how to feel about the music lol) but a peek of pre-war Bucky comes out to play: they were told to "blend in", so he dances. At first he's just bobbing around alone looking stoic and out of place, but soon he's smiling and dancing between two attractive people - one male, one female. Sam is surprised, but before he can tease him for it, Sharon comes to get them all. Even she's a little "wait what?" at Bucky having a little fun lol. (recovery is not linear, guys. trauma doesn't mean "perpetually miserable, no fun, doesn't even know how to smile." in my TFATWS, Bucky gets his lighter moments; real ones, not humor at his expense)

When they find Nagle, Bucky's the one who notices and opens the secret door, while Sam keeps an eye on Zemo. Bucky catches Zemo trying to grab that gun; closes the drawer on his hand before opening it and taking the gun away. "Nice try." Nagle tries to get away while there's only one person watching him, but Sam catches him and forces him back into his seat. With a bruising grip on the back of Zemo's neck, Bucky drags him back over to where he and Sam can both keep an eye on him. Nagle is killed in the shootout as they're trying to escape; Zemo still runs off, blows shit up, and comes back with the stolen car so he's not totally useless.

I had no problem with Zemo being the one to kill Nagle; Nagle was the worst and def had to die, and Zemo has never had an issue killing anyone. Where I took issue with this scene was Bucky and Sam being dumb enough to let Zemo wander and get his hands on a gun. Nope. Not happening.

Anyway, shootout! Explosions! Funny banter! The seat thing, which is my favorite nod to CW ever lol... And then the conversation on the plane...

"You okay?" "Yeah." Sam sighs. "Just thinking." "About how to get Sharon that pardon you dangled in front of her?" He shakes his head. "About how Nagle referred to 'The Winter Soldier Program" like it was some kind of after school club; like you weren't standing right there. And 'the American test subject' like... Like Isaiah wasn't even a real person." He turns to face Bucky, looking angry and weary. "Makes me wonder how many times... How many times are we gonna run around in the same circles before people learn? And how many people need to get crushed underfoot in the meantime?" "Did you really just equate me with Isaiah?" Bucky frowns, not sure how to react to that. "That man is a hero." Sam opens his mouth to say something, but his phone goes off and Zemo approaches at the same time, effectively cutting off their conversation.

When they get to Riga and Zemo tries to guilt trip them over Sokovia, Bucky deadpan reminds him, "Neither of us were involved in that fight." "I doubt you'd have been much help if you were." He shrugs. "Probably not. But I like to save my guilt for events I was actually present for. It's a thing." Zemo laughs. "Fair enough."

Bucky goes on his walk, and meets up with Ayo.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Salt and vinegar

First of all, thanks to everyone who read my first attempt at the first person writing, I always struggled with that.

I must say I didn't plan to write a second part to Cakes and accidents because I am a sucker for one shots with open endings, but I actually had a clear idea in my head about how it should continue, and I found a spark of inspiration so here is the part II.

And thanks to @tholland96 @jillanaholland for commenting.

Also part of the inspiration came from this interview in case you want to check it out.

Tom Holland x reader

One shot

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, poor table manners.

The message was bright and clear in your cellphone screen, but still you had to look at ti three more times to make sure what it says, and once the idea had sink in your head you tossed the device away in the laundry basket you were supposed to do that night as if it had somehow offended you. That wasn't real, it was a cruel joke of destiny that Tom Holland, actually Stanley, said the voice in your head, invited you to have dinner with him.

And of course you didn't want to read much into it, you have been talking in an amicable way for the last three days and he was probably trying to be friendly with you. But if you had to sit next to that charming smile and those breathtaking eyes that make you smile like an idiot just by thinking about them, for more than 20 minutes you will end up making an awkward mess of yourself and he would probably feel uncomfortable and would run away scared.

You pick up the phone and ignore the text to call your sister, she may be younger but the list of broken hearts in her past made her the perfect person to give advice, and since it was almost 8 at night she may be free in her new home all those mile away.

"Well he clearly enjoys your company" The voice of your sister told you in the phone after you briefly summarize how you meet him "Y/N why are you doing this? This Holland guy is clearly interested in you, what the hell if he said is name is Stanley or Lucas or Wenceslaus" She made a pause to let you laugh, she always did that, even when she was angry, making jokes was a second nature for Y/S/N "If anything it only means he wants to have a more normal discret experience as a young adult, and trust me it that is hard to find, you should see the blokes out here, they feel like just because they have a couple thousands followers in IG I should be kissing the floor they walk on"

"I suppose you are right, but I haven't done this in so long what if I mess it up?" You said with a voice a little more desperate than you hoped for.

"Then at least you have had dinner with a handsome lad, and you will move on. Look you are not sure if this is a date right? Then take it that way just two friends eating, a normal conversation, maybe a beer and please big sister put on a bloody dress" she said before you start lecturing her on how little you cared for gender specific clothes and she talked some more about her new school. By the time you hung up it was 9:00 and you sent the answer to his text.

Sorry, busy doing laundry. Sure mate! 6 works for you?

"Oh Y/N why did you say mate?" You asked yourself outloud, you really were bad at this.

And here I am, being useless. You are such an adult. 6 works perfect, I'll pick you. Sweet dreams mate! 😉

His text came in within minutes and you let go a relief sigh, before start thinking about what you should wear, but Y/S/N was right, you had to take it as calm as you could, and he was in fact a charming friend, worst case scenario you still were going to have dinner with Tom Holland, that couldn't be bad, and with that in mind you finally went downstairs to do the bloody laundry.

"Looking good Bristol" he said once you open the door at exactly 6:00 pm the next day. "Good thing Tessa is not coming today, will be a shame to get grass and dirt on that dress" he add pointing down to the skirt of the flowy summer dress you finally picked, looking at you for one second to long. So maybe it is a date your mind said happy.

"Oh that's too bad, I actually got her something" You said picking out something from your purse "So she won't be out there chasing innocent british pastries" You said giving him a chocolate cake plush toy. And following him out to his car.

"This is adorable" He said again smiling with his whole body, and you wonder again how does he do that? "Sorry I forgot to tell you to don't posh up, I'm actually just coming out of the gym" Actually never mind. Your mind told you since he was wearing again a simple black tshirt and dark blue jeans, and then you could notice his hair was wet, he probably had just taken a shower ... don't go there. "And I'm actually starving, chips sound good?"

"Sure, I actually didn't like the ones in Bristol so it would be nice to eat them here." Yo said trying to shake your thoughts away from the danger zone and putting on the seatbelt "Isn't it late for being at the gym? I hope you are not an excercise addict"

"I don't think I am" he said with a little laugh "But what do you think is this too much" He said with an obvious pretend innocence flexing up his arms making the tshirt rise on his abs. That's obscene sir, sorry girl you are on your own. Said your inner voice shutting down all logical thinking

"No, you look quite... healthy" You said finally looking to the left, never finding a review mirror so interesting.

"Good I would hate to be too big" he said and you could hear the amusement in his voice, and somehow the fact that he was aware of your obvious crush on him make you confident enough to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

"Obviously, period pieces never look good on beefcakes and you can't be spiderman forever" you said casually and he turn at you a bit astonished.

"When did you knew?" He said and thankfully his tone was not anger nor embarrassment just genuine curiosity "And I would love to do a period piece, what about Heathcliff ?"

"Well I don't believe there is many Staffordshire bull terriers around named Tessa" You started "But I actually recognized you when I saw you" You finally confess, feeling the pressure lifting off your shoulders "But I thought since you were not comfortable giving out your own name it wasn't my place to say anything. And Heathcliff is overrated Linton on the other hand is more of a challenge"

"Oh don't be so harsh on yourself, I didn't mind giving my name or not, it just seemed something funny to do at the time, and Tom or Stanley I actually enjoyed talking to you" He said while he found a place to park. "Do you mind walking from here? Is a nice place but doesn't have and actual car park".

"Not at all, as long is not more than 5 blocks, I am getting hungry" you said with a smile while he maneuver to park his Audi.

"O'Neill's Kingston upon Thames" He said once you were both on the ground and he once again offered you his arm "Have you ever been there? Great food"

"I actually never been there, but sounds fine, let's go" you said gladly taking his arm and walking by his side and a couple blocks later you were finally at the Irish Pub.

"A pint of Guinness and cod and chips" He said returning the menu to the waiter.

"And the lady?" He asked while you struggle to not take forever to decide what you wanted, an old bad habit that your mother have tried to change constantly.

"The Bacon cheese chips and a pint for me as well" you said finally putting the menu away.

"My kind of girl" He said and winked at you, clearly not realizing that your legs will stop working because of it "So when do you go back to bristol?" He asked and that honest interest encouraged you to speak.

"By mid September, my mother is actually about to toss my train ticket in the trash since I didn't came back for spring vacations, but I had so much work that I couldn't."

"I totally get it, whenever I'm away my dad makes such a big deal about it" he said letting go a little laugh "I mean is not the same since I didn't go to college but is sweet"

"Oh but you cross the Atlantic, they have reasons to be worried. I'm just one train away" you said and a small spark of pride shine in his eyes, was he self conscious about you being in college? No that was ridiculous. "Anyway I actually needed this, my friends from uni are in their houses and my friends from high school are too happy with their boyfriends and girlfriends to hang out with me." There I'm a loser now we are even.

"And your sister is gone, been there. I have the feeling Harry is going to break up with me when he gets a real girlfriend" he said and make you laugh, a bit louder and more nasal than you wanted.

"That's some laugh" he said laughing too but instead of making you shut up or get embarrassed you laughed louder causing the waiter to look at both of you like you were crazy while holding your food.

"Yours is no better sunshine" Yo said finally and giving a I'm so sorry look at the guy that kept looking at you and he finally put your food on the table. "This looks delicious" You said taking out one of the chips making a cheese string to extend from the hot plate.

"That's like too much cheese" He said making a funny disgusted face, and then proceeded to add more vinegar and salt to his chips.

"And that's like too much vinegar" You teased back at him, and then taking a big sip of the Guinness.

"No darling, this is too much vinegar" He said taking one of the complementary pickled eggs on de table and giving it a big bite.

"That's actually fucking disgusting..." you started but ironically and unplanned you were betrayed mid sentence by the beer and a loud and horrifying burp came out of your mouth, and the shame and the look on other people faces made you want to be swollen by the floor "Oh shit, I'm so sorry, that was so awful, I'm so gross..." The apologies start bubbling in your mouth while your face turned red and you dare to look at him, and the serious look on his face could have broken your heart in the very moment because you could almost hearing him say how you should end the dinner for once.

"Oh you wanna get tough" He said instead and took a sip of his beer and let go an even bigger burp and then looked at you with the brightest smile yet and add "Beat that baby" and he raised his opened arms as if he had won. You only smiled and nodded and you kept talking about other nonsenses until two beers and a order of onion rings later he was waiting at the door for you to came out of the bathroom to walk back to his car.

"Sorry I take forever, I went back to give a bigger tip to the waiter, we were so awful" You said at him.

"You were awful, I was being completely charming" He said and this time he didn't offer his arm to you instead simply took your hand without saying a word and before you noticed you were already walking holding it tightly.

"Of course you were, the guy put two more picked eggs at the table for you and kept looking drooling" You said and he laughed.

"Sorry sweetheart I can't turn off this pretty face" He said pointing at him when you reached the car, you couldn't agree more.

"Well he must be in love, that's a lot of vinegar to want to kiss someone" You said, again before you could think better and stop your tongue, he stood still and you questioned yourself if you had offended him, since he didn't say anything you let go of his hand and try to walk to open the door, but before you could do it he grab you by the wrist, and you froze immediately.

"That's actually quite disappointing you know?" He started no smile, but no anger either, just an honest tone, he let go of your wrist but you remained in your place "But I have never think it's okay to try and kiss someone in the first date so I figured it would be okay"

Your feet were still on the ground but for a moment your head was miles and miles away in the sky screaming of happiness and incredulity, it was a simple four letter word yet it felt like the most beautiful poem in his lips, and at the same time your logical thinking brought you back to the ground in a millisecond, you needed to be certain of what he had said.

"Well I was not aware this was a date, otherwise I wouldn't have ordered the extra onion rings" you said and give him a timid smile.

"Then I must be terrible at this" he said opening the car door for you "Although I wouldn't mind, but as I said it's a first date so I just want to take you home safely.

"Well that's really sweet of you" you started and he start the car to get back to your home "And since apparently I'm incapable of behaving like a decent person in public when I'm with you next time you should come to my place".

"I like your indecency" He said "And I would love too, are you going to tell me that you can cook too? Because in that case you are officially annoyingly adult"

"Of course, my speciality is reheated pizza in the microwave" You said and he laughed, there was a narcissistic pleasure about being able to make him laugh.

As a perfect gentleman he walked you at your door, there was so much that you wanted to tell him, but the idea of going out with him again soon was so powerful that you almost didn't mind watching him leave.

"That was the funniest and more amazing date I ever have"

"Oh stop it" You said blushing again "I'm going to start believing you and it would get to my head"

"Believe me, I almost run to the drugstore to buy a toothbrush" He said and give you a devilish wink that make you thank your door for being behind you holding you still.

"You know how unfair this is when you look like that?" You said desperately looking at your feet "And for what is worth I have an amazing evening too, and if I'm honest I wouldn't have mind at all too" You said and dare to touch his arm softly before turning your back at him to get inside.

He suddenly grabbed you by your waist and turned back to him, planting a quick soft kiss on your cheek, and you could see the fun grin on his face, he was not being considered he was torturing you with anticipation, and you love it.

"Goodbye then" He said and with one last wink he walk away and got in his car.

You stood ther for solid five minutes touching your face where he had just kissed you and watching the street, then you finally get inside thinking about how happy and uneasy this force of nature of a man made you feel, he would be the end of you, but you wouldn't change it for the world.

[darkspace7]

Medieval Moon Knight AU?

Like, what if you had the events of the tv series but set in a medieval fantasy-type world?

Like you have the "Sir" Steven Grant, an awkward yet charming man who somehow managed to stumble into the kingdom and earn a position among the king's court due to his rather extensive yet eclectic knowledge of "foreign magicks" and who believes he might be cursed with a desire to walk while his mind dreams?

Marc, the actual knight (or rather former knight, that is) who truly was cursed after meeting his once ally's treacherous blade during an ill-begotten crusade in a faraway land. Now nothing more than the ghostly spector of a man, he serves the Lord Of The Night as his fist and justice.

And the mysterious Jake Lockley, a quiet stablehand who seems to know more than he lets on.

[darkspace7]

Been frantically trying to shift around stuff because I wanted to play games on my phone but it unfortunately has the memory capacity of a potato so I've been looking through my notes app in search of things that could be deleted. Here's some ideas that have cursed my ever waking hours so now I foist the burden onto you!

A restaurant called "Subversion" that aims to do just that to your expectations. Food that looks all leafy and green so you'd expect a savory vegetable type deal? Nope you blue raspberry flavor. Or how about a large dessert covered in some sort of icing and now the waiter is bringing out a torch? So is it something like Baked Alaska mayhaps? No, the "icing" melts away to reveal it’s a steak. And the deal isn't limited to the food, oh no. You go in thinking it’s gotta be some fancy high end place but it looks like just a mom and pop cluttered shop. Then you get led through a door and suddenly faced with the most ostentatious place you’ve ever seen. Then the bartender gestures for you to follow them behind the counter and suddenly you're led through a trapdoor in floor. You now think you’re outside but suddenly a a door opens from behind a pile of trash bags against the back wall and then suddenly you’re in another version of the mom & pop store. The price is reasonable but you're the server now. This is your home now, you can never leave.

Bleach/Promare AU (Not gonna lie, I didn't know where I was going with this other than the potential for seeing Ichigo/Uryuu and the Zangetsu Duo in the colour pallet/artstyle. Also, shirtless fire fighters and weird fire aliens?

Candy Barrel Fairy Floss (Cotton Candy made from Various Candies? What types would work best? What would be the worst? Would they taste good???)

The Aizen from my one story idea (the one where he is genuinely the personality he presents himself as and maybe role-swaps Ichigo?) gets isekaied into an alternate past where Juhabach is his Dad. (Based on a dream I had, apperantly?)

• There's a group chat for the zanpakuto that Zangetsu was a part of before the timeline fuckery (reference to my one Ichigo/Uryuu story.) He gets pulled in again via Sode no Shirayuki and eventually gets Zanpakugo (Zanpakuto!Ichigo) in. Many cryptic memes x2 because they're both time traveling millennials. Of course they meme in various worrysome and increasingly unhinged ways. Yachiru also hops in sometimes much to many's confusion. (One of the others: "Yeah. You learn not to question it.") (This is obviously non-canon.)

•(In regards to Bleach) What happens if two people go inside a gigai at the same time???

•(Also in regards to Bleach?) What if Keigo is related to Reigen Arataka? (Reigen's his uncle)

•Pre!Canon Izuku gets isekaied into Fantasy AU decides to essentially say fuck it to his old world and stay with found friend family adventuring and doing hero shit in the new world.

•Crack Vestige AU where Izuku and then Bakugo get to haunt people with their found ghost family when Melissa finally gets passed the quirk due to shenanigans. Scenes & further shenanigans occur but not sad shit because fuck that noise.

•(In relation to last point) Fucming Vestige Bakugou & Izuku going whole ham on Shiggy, just decimating his shit. AFO steps in and then there's Yoichi coming in from behind with the steel chair-

•Also, En's coat is colour changing.

•"The Ruler" A non-binary royalty themed superhero who goes around carrying a wooden handheld rulestick. •Racecar Driver reverse isekai disaster lesbians? One day someone literally tries to invoke the whole 'bury your gays trope' on a recently disgraced Racer with their shitty lemon but apparently Truck-kun was having none of this bullshit and t-bones the fucker so instead of death we got this hot muscular dragon lady from the fantasy equivalent of the 1500's or whatever rolling out the back and proceeding to break a semi in half. Cut to her and the protag together as they proceed wreck the local illegal street racing circuit all the while trying to get back the protag's honour or something like that and maybe somehow catch up with the mysterious cryptid racer 'Truck-kun' so they get dragon lady home. There's mutual idiots in love, someone tries to murder protag by ramming them off road in every race, cars routinely defy the laws of physics in increasingly riduculou ways, dragon lady has an epic duel with a giant robot. It's an utter mess call it something equally stupid like "Speed Demon" or smth. •Jirou Kyoka x Daredevil (???)

•Doctor Stone Time Slip Theory AU but make it crack (or crack taken seriously) with mecha senku behind everything •Blackberry Syrup Orange Mango Mocktail with small crushed ice ("looks like a sunset." True but why?)

[darkspace7]

Hero Whisperer AU

The following is a series of headcanons continuing on from the idea presented in this post [here].

Due to his new found status among the recently departed Toshinori finds interactions with the physical world to be somewhat tricky. If he finds himself around someone such as Izuku however this natural difficulty can be circumvented somewhat because when the other is present he may borrow from the teen’s ambient energy thus,allowing him to preform certain tasks, with less difficulty than he normally would have. The downside to this however is that when a ghost has enough energy to actually affect the material world they cannot to remain intangible as per their natural state.

Most of the little everyday stuff that Toshinori does doesn’t drain Izuku’s energy all that much. Possession, on the other hand is a different story. If they’re not careful they can potentially knock themselves unconscious or worse. This happened somewhat frequently in the early days of their partnership but as Izuku got stronger an later gained control of One-for-All the risk of this occuring has lessened somewhat but they still have to be careful not to overdo it and burn themselves out.

It has been found that over time that possession has lead to the development of some rather interesting side effects between the pair. This of which includes (but is not limited to) alteration of appearance (I.E: Izuku’s eyes doing the same weird shadowed glow thing that Toshinori’s does) or a blurring of one’s sense of self in which both parties could potentially pick up traits and habits from the the other individual and in severe cases even lead to a complete bleed-through of thoughts/  memories/emotions.

The first time either of them experienced this “blending of self” was during the Entrance Exams. As time has went on it and the bond between the two has steadily developed these bleed-through episodes have grown exponetially and become as such that it is often times hard to distinguish what is exactly “Izuku” and what is “Toshinori”. This is something that unnerves both of them greatly.

As a ghost Toshinori can change his appearance at will. He often uses this ability to simply change outfits (despite having no real need to do so whatsoever) because in his own words “casual clothing isn’t really all that professional and as a teacher and I should probably wear something a bit more suiting don’t you think?” (”Well...Yes, I guess...but...All Might, the majority of the class and teachers can’t even see you. So what does it really matter if...” “They can’t exactly see young Hagakure either and yet she still finds the need to wear the uniform just as you do Midoriya, my boy.” “...Okay point.”)

If Toshinori was ever to be overcome by some form of extreme emotion it might actually be possible for him to become visible to those around him if only for a brief instant. In this visible state he usually is perceived as a sort of shadowed silhouette with glowing yellow eyes (think something along the lines of the One-for-All ghosts.) This does cause some...problems down the line.

Seeing as he’s a ghost and doesn’t need to do the stuff normal human need to do to survive he usually spends this new found free time looking over his lesson plans or going out on patrol (because even through he’s pretty much dead that doesn’t mean he can’t still be a hero.) 

Toshinori somehow manages to become a sort of surrogate dad for all the ghostly youths that linger around U.A. (and there seems to be a rather alarming amount of them for some strange reason...)

And just as All Might is adopted into their fold so to is his young successor. With the spirits behaving as though he were one of they own it is a near unanimous decision that they need to keep an eye on their new unofficial younger brother because holy fuck is this child reckless and self-sacrificing and he’s is straight up going to get himself killed one of these days.

So yeah the ghosts are all pretty much chill when it comes to them... well all of them except for this one asshole...They’re a being that Toshinori managed stumble upon one day while exploring an old storage room that and man were they not happy with the specter at all. That was the day when they discovered first hand how dangerous a Reverant could truly be.

Izuku knows how to pick locks. He learned how after this one incident when he was younger when some bullies thought it would be a fun idea to steal his stuff and lock him in one of the school’s old storage closets. He had to wait hours for the evening janitor come in to rescue him back then because everyone had gone home for the day. (The boy explains this to Toshinori with a self-deprecating chuckle as he proceeds to demonstrate aforementioned skill, just missing the expression on his newfound companion’s face. ”Because sometimes-” he says, with a bittersweet smile pulling at his lips, “-you need to know how to rescue yourself too.”)

Izuku actually first meets Nedzu while trying to pick the lock on All Might’s front door as he’s attempting to retrieve the fallen hero’s body from inside. (It understandably slipped Toshinori’s mind that the other was coming over that day to discuss some things about his future teaching position.)

Nedzu seems to be a bit too accepting of the fact that All Might’s kind of dead and that there’s some seemingly random kid that was literally not five seconds ago trying to break into said former pro-hero’s apartment standing in front of him and truth be told it kind of freaks Izuku (and Toshinori to an extent) the hell out. (As it turns out he could see and hear the dead man the entire time.)

Aside from Izuku, Nedzu, Recovery Girl and Naomasa no one knows that All Might is no longer among the living. Gran Torino, however, is one of the first to figure it out later when he finally meets Izuku and is -understandably- not happy with the situation and just maybe a bit somber about the whole thing because goddamn it if he hasn’t outlived yet another person he cared about. (“What? Did you think I honestly wouldn’t notice all the staring off into space and the mumbling you do?  I’m old, not stupid...Besides, Toshinori did the same damn thing when he was your age.” The aforementioned man stubbornly refuses to comment upon this.) 

When Toshinori (and by extension Izuku) actually join the faculty at U.A. the staff and students are given an...very abridged...explanation of the situation the two are now faced with. (“Oh no. All Might’s really there, I promise! He just...well, you see, he sorta got hit with this one villain's quirk. Yeah and supposedly it does something weird to perception and so to make long story short he’s just sort of...invisible. Oh and inaudible too.” “What.” “Oh and did i forget mention it was kind of permanent?.” ”What.” “Hey don’t look at me like that! It was a surprise to us too! But as it out it doesn’t really effect everyone so some people -like myself- can still see him and we are completely willing to help out around with classes and such so he’s can still preform his duties as a teacher. Honest!”)

Bakugou’s not the only one who manages to overhear Todoroki’s conversation with Izuku at the sports festival. (Toshinori just about manages to nearly die yet again when the young Todoroki calls Izuku his “illegitimate son.”) The hero decides that maybe he could have a few words with some fellow spirits to see if they they can look after the poor boy (and if they by any chance decide to make Endeavor's life a hell while they’re at it well it’s no problem of his.)

[Boku No Hero Academia (c) Kohei Horikoshi]

[darkspace7]

Alright so...

My deep-found and eternal love of the horror genera and the thing that is Boku no Hero Academia as well as the fact that Halloween is coming up fast upon us is what probably sparked the majority of this but hear me out...

You know how in the BNHA universe how its said that 80% of the world’s population has some sort of special ability called a “Quirk” while remaining 20% who do not are “Quirkless” right?

So this is what I’m thinking: what if in being in natural possession of a Quirk that it pretty much automatically closes one’s senses off towards certain other things? Things such as -say- the supernatural?

( Like usually if something weird happens most would just have blamed it on something they could explain like a Quirk or something right? Besides, I mean if you have a Quirk you’re pretty much a cryptid anyway...)

What if, in not possessing any extra abilities, those “Quirkless” are allowed access to those things that go knock in the night that most others remain oblivious to?

Enter Izuku Midoriya: a Quirkless teen with great aspertations of becoming a hero who it just so happens can see ghosts.

And just what if, one day when Izuku was heading home from school he encountered this villain only to be saved in the nick of time by the specter of a (very recently) fallen hero who managed to possess him and defeat the villain.

The specter’s name? Toshinori Yagi hero a.k.a “The (former) symbol of peace” All Might.

So tldr: BNHA but with Izuku as a Ghost Whisperer and Specter!Toshinori who’s his ghostly battle-partner/father-figure.

[Boku No Hero Academia (c) Kohei Horikoshi]

[darkspace7]

There is an infamous incident in the Matsuno Household known only as “That Night” to the sextuplets. The specifics of what exactly happened on “That Night” are rather sketchy because in the brother’s own words, “Some things are never meant to be seen by the light of day.”

It has only been through some rather persistent “questioning” that they have let slip a few items and instances of note that were involved in the aforementioned night. These of which include (but definitely are not limited to): two shopping carts, a crate of stolen fireworks, improperly used durians, no less than two and a half instances of public nudity, a feisty giraffe named Coco, thirty rolls of duct tape, Shonosuke Hijirisawa, a semi-empty barrel of petrol, at least five-hundred thousand yen’s worth of collateral damage, an (interrupted) ritualistic Elder God summoning, three separate-yet-equally enraged international crime syndicates, and lastly a single frantic call requesting requesting a pick-up from a small-town police station located two prefectures away.

[Osomatsu-san (c) Masako Shitara]

[darkspace7]

Alright so giving a bit of this some thought I’ve determined that the reason why Karamatsu’s luck is so abysmal is because of the perceived-to-be “painful” aura that hangs around him.

But just what if that “painfulness” of we’ve come to associate as his part of his signature wasn’t actually coming directly from him though?

What if it the actual source of his constant misfortune was emanating from a certain article of leather-based clothing found frequently on his person; one that he got for a suspiciously good deal at a second-hand store some time or another?

And what if one day his brothers took it upon themselves to “relieve” him of this particular article of clothing, unintentionally breaking-up the aura of “painfulness” that unknowingly plagued him and his luck, thus allowing him to finally be able to catch a break for once in his life?

[Osomatsu-san (c) Masako Shitara]

[darkspace7]

Okay so remember in the in the eighth movie when Sir Aaron gave his life to stop the war? What if during the process something happened causing his soul to fracture and thus split apart into a multitude of fragments? Of which, some remain trapped in the Tree of Beginning -at least until the actions of a certain someone sets them free- while others passed on as they were meant to so and proceeded to give life to not one but two new beings who would later go by the names of Riley Gen and Ash Ketchum.

What if each of these “fragments” find themselves being inexplicably drawn towards one another over time? Imagine them having to deal with the fact that they are literally pieces of the same soul and everything else that resultingly entails.

Imagine a spectral Sir Aaron (not so) subtly encouraging the formation of a bond between himself and his counterparts on the off chance that’ll finally help piece broken fragments of their soul back together.

[Pokémon (c) Satoshi Tajiri]