#-album is so good!!!) and it’s so much cooler than just making a playlist

[killyertelevision]

ordered a portable cd player so i can stop using spotify and make cds to listen to instead 👍 u have converted me

HELL YEAH!!!! there’s also an added bonus to listening to those things in public which is immediately forming an unshakable bond with every person over the age of 40. i was listening to my discman (portable cd player) in class today and the substitute approached me and said “a walkman huh? totally old school.” and i just nodded but the mutual respect felt instantaneous

[kookygranger]

Top five, most memorable kisses of all time

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Corroded Coffin move to Chicago and find their people. Eddie finds you behind the counter at Championship Records. He thinks you're cool. You think he's gorgeous. Life outside of Hawkins might just be worth fighting for.

Warnings: swearing, kissing (obvs), fluff, fem!reader, mostly Eddie's POV, our boy has no rizz, alcohol consumption, I don't think anything else, too many high fidelity references?

Word count: 4k

Author's note: This is a one-shot, that has been sitting in my drafts since last Halloween and thanks to a wip game has finally seen the light of day! Find the playlist that inspired the fic below.

Masterlist

One pill makes you larger,

And one pill makes you small

The bell above the door jingles as Eddie steps through the threshold, his shoulders relaxing as the warmth seeps back into him and he scans the racks of records before him. Perking up as he notices the music playing over the speakers, he was still getting used to how much cooler things were in Chicago than back home – and shit, how much cooler people were.

Eddie clocks you sitting on top of the counter with one leg crossed under you, the other swinging down the side as you sticker a stack of vinyl. You mouth along with the music, not even noticing him slip through the aisles as he stops in a random section with a perfect view of you across the small store.

He’d only come in here to kill some time between soundcheck and the gig tonight at a venue down the street. The rest of the band had gone to find some food, but Eddie wanted to check out the record store they passed on the drive in. And boy, was he glad he did.

He mindlessly flicks through the records in front of him, trying to come up with a good conversation starter. It wasn’t that often that he missed Steve Harrington, but he could sure use one of the boy’s famous pep talks right about now. Fuck, what was it about pretty girls that got him so tongue-tied? Probably the pretty part.

But you weren’t just pretty, you were obviously very cool, and he certainly wasn’t used to girls sharing the same interests as him – but he’d met a lot of them since he’d moved to Chicago a couple of months ago.

Just as he’s thinking about what albums he could pick out to impress you, the bell above the door jingles again. A guy around his age walks in, his short hair spiked, nose and ears pierced and tattoos peeking out from a crisp white t-shirt. He walks with confidence to where you sit and makes you jump slightly as he greets you boisterously.

“Shit, you scared me.”

He snickers and starts rummaging through a crate of cassettes by the counter.

“Yeah, you look like you were in the zone. Did you even notice you had a customer?”

You turn your head in Eddie’s direction just as he ducks his down, continuing to flick through the disco section. Wait, shit where’s the metal?

“Shit.” You whisper under your breath and turn your attention back to the other guy, not quite lowering your voice enough so Eddie couldn’t eavesdrop. “No, but in my defence this song is a banger.”

Severin, Severin, speak so slightly

Severin, down on your bended knee

“What the fuck are you listening to anyway?”

“I made a pre-Halloween mix. Music that led to goth before goth was a thing.” You frown as you try to unstick a bright red sticker from the price gun you’d been tapping on the pile of vinyl.

Eddie smiles to himself as he continues to pretend he’s browsing and not tuning into your conversation.

“Are you coming to The Allied tonight? There’s some new band from Indiana or something playing. Apparently, they do a sick cover of Master of Puppets.”

Eddie pauses in his faux perusing for a second as he awaits your reply.

“I wasn’t really planning on it, no.”

The guy huffs, “No? What was your plan, going home to sulk to The Velvet Underground?”

“I don’t sulk–“

“You do when you listen to The Velvet Underground.”

“What do you want me to do? Pogo to Heroin? Anyway, I was gonna work on an article actually.”

“Why don’t you write about this band tonight? Tim says they’re pretty good. He saw them a couple of weeks ago at the Metro.”

“Tim said that about that god-awful noise band that played at De Salle’s. It was the worst four hours of my life. I thought my ears were actually going to bleed.”

“Whatever, you say that like you’re not currently playing the most depressing German synth music that nobody in their right mind would listen to.” He points his hand in the air, drawing your attention to the new song playing from the speakers behind you.

“First of all, this is David Bowie’s Low. And if you knew as much about music as you claim to, you’d know that this was his seminal work in his Berlin era and an ambient soundscape masterpiece. Secondly–“

“I like it.”

Both of your heads shoot up at Eddie’s interruption. He blushes and clears his throat as you catch his eye and the corner of your mouth quirks up. “Sorry, I just–it’s a good mixtape. I like the theme.” He frowns and shakes his head at himself, he doesn’t know what came over him. Who is this guy that’s bothering you, anyway? You have amazing taste and he’s now sure you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. You gesture in his direction and look back at the guy that’s teasing you.

“The customer is always right, Simon.”

Eddie moves quickly to the B section and finds the album you were talking about before heading over to you.

“Did you find everything you need?” You smile at him sweetly as you hop off the counter and take the record from him. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked before. Customer service isn’t exactly my strongest skill.”

The guy, Simon, snorts. Eddie can’t take his eyes off the way your face lights up quietly when you realise what album he picked.

“What are your strongest skills?” That was such a weird question Munson, what the hell?

You look up at him a little taken aback, before a small smile creeps up on you.

“Talking about music…or” you shake your head in contemplation, “writing about it actually.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Maybe it’s not so much a skill, more like an obsession.”

“She’s actually kind of good.” Simon butts in with a shrug and you roll your eyes.

“Such a high compliment cuz.”

You were cousins. He still had a shot.

“You write for magazines?”

“Zines mostly,” you point to a stack of xeroxed pamphlets on the counter, “but I’ve published a few reviews with Spin and The Face.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “That’s pretty cool.”

You breathe out a laugh and take the cash he hands you, collecting his change. “Thanks.”

“Wait, you're Eddie, right?” He turns to Simon, almost forgetting he was there. “Your band’s playing at The Allied tonight? I met your drummer Gareth at a show last week.”

“Uh yeah, that’s me. We’re called Corroded Coffin.”

“Cool name.” You smirk and hand him his record wrapped in paper. Eddie tucks it under his arm, his dimples showing as he smiles back at you.

“Thanks.”

“You’re from Indiana then?” You call back to Simon’s earlier statement, as Eddie doesn’t make a move to immediately leave.

He rubs the back of his neck as he nods, “Yeah. Just moved here a couple of months ago with my band.”

“Welcome to Chicago, Eddie.” You smile and introduce yourself, “Let me know if there’s ever anything I can do for you…vinyl wise I mean.”

“Thanks,” he scratches the stubble on his jaw before stepping away from the counter. “Maybe I’ll see you tonight at the show?” He tries to keep his voice casual, but there’s a hint of hope in there.

You bite your lip and shrug, “Yeah, maybe you will.”

Eddie nods and takes his queue to leave, the bell jingling again as he steps back out into the cold.

“Yeah, maybe you will.” Simon mocks you in a breathy imitation and you roll your eyes. “So now that you know the singer is cute are you coming?”

“Obviously! You better get me on the door list, or I swear to god I’m telling Aunt Carol about the stash in your underwear drawer.”

***

“Hey, Carlos.” You greet your friend at the door of The Allied, who waves you in without payment. “That Darondo record came in, I put it aside for you.” You call back on your way in, hearing a muffled thanks as the music from inside hits your eardrums.

There’s a decent crowd tonight, and you have to push past a few people to reach the sticky top bar.

“Oh, she showed up! Surprise, surprise.” Simon makes his way over to you, ignoring the calls of indignance as he passes other customers. He slings a rag over his shoulder, which makes you bite your lip, attempting to hold in a laugh, remembering how he’d practised that move in the mirror when he turned twenty-one and landed the second most coveted job of your teenage selves.

You shrug nonchalantly, despite your cousin knowing the exact reason you’re here. “I ended up doing inventory ‘till late. Thought I may as well drop by before catching the L.”

Simon flicks your nose, your retaliating slap missing him as he moves to pour your drink. You thank him with a forced smile when he slides it across the bar, picking it up and turning to find a spot in the crowd.

“No tip?”

You call over your shoulder, “Yeah, take it easy on the cologne.” You smirk, not even having to turn around to know he’s probably sniffing his shirt.

You take your usual spot leaning against the wall, up the back and away from most of the crowd. Your rule was front row or back. None of that squished in the middle, view blocked by the tallest guy you’d ever seen crap. Either it was front and centre, immersed in the moment, or your own space with a view of it all.  

You’d never be up front for a band you didn’t know, and tonight was no exception, no matter how large the butterflies in your stomach at the prospect of seeing him again.

You don’t know what it was about Eddie, apart from the obvious fact that he was gorgeous. Maybe it was something in his presence. But when he walked up to the counter earlier with a record you’d just been talking about and a shy smile on his face – you were a goner.

The murmurs of the crowd quieten when the house lights are switched off, a yellow glow on the stage and above the bar now the only sources of light.

There are a few enthusiastic cheers when the band appear from a door behind the stage and a smattering of applause as they take their place. You take a sip of your drink, ignoring the feeling in your chest when Eddie steps up to the mic and adjusts his red Warlock guitar. He smiles and you duck your head, trying not to look too much like the girl who’s just fallen for a lead singer when he addresses the crowd.

“Evening. Hope you brought your earplugs, this one’s new.” The quiet, reservedness of his introduction and the boy you’d met earlier is undone with the first crashing of cymbals and thrash of power chords.

Stage Eddie isn’t what you were expecting, but still somehow makes total sense. He’s more comfortable, more himself up there as he thrashes back and forth, hair whipping wildly. And they’re good. Really good.

Maybe you’d write about them after all.

The band are almost through their set when he spots you. Your back straightens as his eyes lock onto yours. Normally you hate making eye contact with someone on stage, but you can’t seem to look away when his chocolate-brown gaze twinkles over the heads of the rest of the crowd. In between songs, he gives you a wave, and you nod, returning his small smile.

When they finish, you move back to the bar. Waiting for the lingering fans to clear over a rum and coke. You’re only on your second sip when you feel a burning hot presence behind you.

“You made it.”

You turn around, and Eddie leans an arm on the bar beside you, moving in closer as the growing line pushes him forward.

“I did.” You nod, taking another sip of your drink.

He clears his throat, pushing his sweaty bangs away from his forehead.

“So, uh, what did you think?”

You smile, “I think you’re going to fit in very well here.”

“I hope that’s a good thing,” he chuckles.

“Oh, it is. You’re one of us now. Welcome to the dark side, Eddie.”

His eyebrows raise, the ghost of a smirk kicking up when you’re interrupted by your cousin.

“Man, that was sick! What can I get ya?”

Eddie thanks Simon, then looks back at you, “What are you having?” He holds up two fingers when you answer, signalling for another round, then starts playing with a beermat while you wait. Your eyes are trained to the glint of silver on his fingers.

“How are you liking Chicago so far?”

Eddie looks back at you and puffs his cheeks up as he exhales. “Honestly?... I didn’t know life could be this good.”

You feel a sharp tingling in your nose as your eyes well up a little for the boy standing in front of you, his cheeks dusted with pink as he tries to hold back a smile.

“Trust me, things are only gonna get better from here.”

“Yeah?” He beams at you then and you inhale deeply as you fight the urge to reach out and wrap your arms around him.

“Yeah.”

***

Eddie had seen you a few times since the gig at The Allied. Dropping into the record store when he could. In small crowds at gigs in the city. You’d greet him with a hug or a squeeze to the arm that never failed to get his heart rate going.

Today, he’d gotten off early from his temporary new gig at the auto shop and he found himself parked outside the record store.

It was overcast, but there was no bite to the air. A balmy wind tousling his hair as he ran across the street to the hole-in-the-wall coffee shop, avoiding the fat drops of rain that had begun to fall sporadically.

He spots you through the window when he makes his back to the store, bobbing your head along to whatever’s playing as you fill the racks. The now familiar bell jingles and he smiles when he recognises Joy Division over the speakers. He’d seen you in their shirt on more than one occasion.

He meets you as you're walking back to the counter.

“Oh, hey Eddie.” You smile and do a double take, taking in his greasy coveralls, and suddenly he’s wishing he’d gone home and showered. Even if it was an hour out of his way.

“Hey.” He places a coffee on the counter along with a white paper bag. “Thought you might like a mid-afternoon pick me up. I’ve uh, I’ve seen you with one of those cinnamon things before.”

Your eyes light up as you inspect the inside of the bag. “Oh my god, you’re my hero! Thank you, that’s so sweet.”

He shrugs, taking a step back from the counter, his own black coffee still clutched in his hands.

“So, this is the day job then huh?” You gesture to his outfit.

He scratches the back of his neck, “Yeah for now. Until the music starts paying off. If the music starts paying off.”

You nod, taking a bite of your cinnamon scroll and he can’t help but smirk at the way your eyes quickly roll to the back of your head. “It will.”

His free hand goes to his pocket, face hidden slightly by his hair as he tucks into himself at your confident statement.

“Thanks.” He turns around to start perusing the aisles.

“Oh, we will be getting the new Metallica album on the day of release by the way. I’ll put a tape aside for you.”

“Thank you.” He offers you a smile over his shoulder, and you tip your coffee to him.

He takes his time flicking through the rows, a few customers coming and going as he does, although he knows exactly what he’s looking for. Once the store is quiet again, he walks back over to you, selection in hand.

“Lee Hazelwood?” You take the record from him with a look of surprise.

He nods, “Yeah, I liked that song on that pre-goth mixtape you gave me. It’s like the kind of thing my uncle would listen to but…”

“Sinister.”

“Yeah.”

You smile, “It’s cool isn’t it? You know he actually wrote These Boots Are Made For Walkin’. Helped save Nancy Sinatra’s career after the teeny-bopper thing didn’t work out. They made a couple of albums together actually, and you know the first time he retired from the music industry was because the success of The Beatles’ made him depressed.”

He leans his arms on the counter as you talk. “Wow, you really are a wealth of knowledge for this stuff huh?”

You shrug, “What else is there?”

“Apart from books.”

You nod, “Good movies.”

He smiles, “Pizza.”

“Dumplings.”

“DnD”

You frown, “That nerdy board game?”

“No, uh d–dumplings like you said, and uh– dough–doughnuts?”

You scrunch up your face, “Okay,” and giggle at Eddie’s strained smile.

“So uh, what–would you–“ Not screwing this up at all Munson. “Would you maybe wanna do that together sometime? The pizza and dumplings, or probably one or the other I guess, and a movie, good music–“ he blows out a puff of air, scrunching up his face.

“Are you asking if I wanna go see a movie?”

“Yes,” he nods enthusiastically, “that and dinner. If you want.”

“I do like both those things.” You smile. “How about Thursday? I finish closing up at six.”

“Yeah. Cool. Thursday sounds good.” The guys and their weekly standing appointment for band practice would not agree.

***

Thursday rolls around faster than Eddie’s prepared for. Predictably, his bandmates all made fun of him for cancelling practice for you. But he just ignored the high-pitched ooohs and went to make sure his lucky Sabbath shirt was washed before he needed it.

He’s wearing it now as he paces outside the movie theatre, twisting his rings, oblivious to you sneaking up behind him until it’s too late.

“Boo!”

“Jesus Christ.” He jumps and twists around, your hands that had reached out to scare him still on his hips, his arms float in the air for a second before landing on your shoulders.

“You’re on edge,” you tease before your face sets a little more seriously. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, just uh, you wanna head in? It starts in like five minutes.”

You nod, your hands leaving his waist as his fall back to his sides. “What are we seeing anyway?” You look up at the black lettering above you, smiling just as Eddie reveals your viewing choice for the night.

“Thought we could see Young Frankenstein. Saw they were doing an old-school horror weekend here in the paper.”

“That sounds great.”

He lets out a breath of relief when you bump his shoulder affectionately, and you begin walking into the theatre side by side.

“Now the real important question Eddie Munson. What are your go-to movie snacks?”

His hand twitches when it accidentally brushes the back of yours.

“Well, popcorn obviously.”

“Obviously.” You nod.

“Sour Patch Kids and you gotta add a packet of Reese’s Pieces in there too.”

“Wait, in there as in–?”

“In the popcorn bucket. All of it. Like a good version of a trail mix.”

You grin, “Very interesting.”

“Just wait till you try it, sweetheart, you’ll never do it any other way.”

You laugh, “Okay, lead the way.”

He bows, gesturing his hand towards the confection stand. “After you m’lady.”

Your giggle, Eddie quickly finds out is his new favourite sound. When it appears again in the movie theatre, he can’t seem to keep his eyes on Gene Wilder, only watching you light up with laughter.

He can’t quite believe how well it’s all going. That is until you’re sharing a large pepperoni, on the bench outside the place you insisted served the best “pies” in all of Chicago, and your confusion stops his heart for a second.

He groans when he takes the first bite of cheesy dough.

“Good right?”

He nods, chewing and swallowing quickly. “My uncle told me pizza wasn’t a first date kind of meal, but we don’t have anything like this back in Hawkins.”

You’re sitting so close that he notices you still right away.

“Wait, this is a date?”

“Oh,” he swears his heart drops to his stomach as he sees the surprise on your face. “Oh well, yeah I thought it was but I guess I–it doesn’t have to be, sorry.”

You reach out to grab his arm when he instinctively moves away, “No! I just didn’t realise you were asking me out, out. You kinda just kept listing food.” He scoffs, shaking his head at himself. “I want it to be a date.”

He bites his lip, looking back at you with eyebrows raised, “Really?”

“Yes,” you laugh, squeezing the arm still in your hold. “Of course. I would love to…be on a date with you right now.”

He beams, “Well, it’s your lucky night sweetheart.”

***

The date (once it’s established as one), goes so well Eddie finds himself back at your apartment, admiring your wall lined with records while you find the both of you a drink.

His eyebrows marry together when he notices Dusty Springfield next to the Sex Pistols.

“What’s the system here?” You hand him a beer when you reappear by his side. “Not by genre?”

“No. Autobiographical.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“How–?”

“Well,” you step forward, reaching out to pick a plastic sleeve as if from memory, “if I want to find the song Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, I have to remember that I bought it for someone in the fall of 1983 but didn’t give it to them…for personal reasons.” You show him the white cover of the album.

“That sounds…”

“Comforting.”

He nods slowly, “Yes.”

“It is.”

God, you’re weird. And cute. And cool. And, shit he was going for it, you said you wanted to be on a date with him. You invited him back to your place. No one’s ever done that before. He should go for it. He’s going for it–

Your lips feel even softer than he imagined, and he can’t help but give himself a mental high-five when you immediately move closer to him, face melting into the hand that cradles your cheek. You taste almost vanilla-y with the combo of rum and coke still sitting on your tongue when his meets yours. He places his beer down on the coffee table, and your lips follow him when he has to dip down slightly before his free hand comes to sit on your waist.

You part for a breath, “Didn’t realise vinyl categorisation would get you so hot.” You tease him, lips plump and eyes slightly glazed over, and he’s never wanted anything more in his life than to keep you looking at him like this.

“Yeah uh, really love that Dewey Decimal system.” He leans close to capture your lips again, but you pull back, leaving him to chase you.

“The Dewey Decimal system is for books.” You shake your head.

Eddie huffs, “I really don’t care.” He finally finds your lips again and he swears they taste even sweeter the second time, despite being tainted by his own.

You guide him back to slowly sit on the couch, bodies falling a little clumsily together before you situate yourself in his lap, legs straddling his. You both stay like that for what could be hours for all Eddie cares, lips clicking in the silence.

“Fuck, I could kiss you all night.” He leans his forehead against yours, heavy breathing synced with your own, as you finally come up for air.

You shake your head, eyes soft and reassuring.

“I’m not going anywhere, Eddie.”

God dammit, is he glad he left Hawkins.

Tagging: @storiesbyrhi (I hope you like the coffee shop across from the record store 😉), @bettyfrommars (I finished it!)

[jess-quillkiller]

SONG RECS HUH?

OK

HERE YOU GO

Notre Dame-Paris Paloma

Rabbit Run- City Calm Down

Teach Me About Dying-Holy Holy

When I Can't Sleep-Pascal Pinon

Symphony-Maggie Rogers

Fools gold-Briston Maroney

Alaska - Maggie Rogers

Helen of Troy - Lorde

THE ENTIRE ALBUM OF PETROL BLOOM BY LAUREL

Which ones you like and don't like because I'm curious

I won't be offended if you don't like any or something, promise :)

HIHIHIHIHII TYSMMM FOR THE RECS <33 im gonna explain how much i like them and why and give them a rating [just in my opinion, music tastes r different and my opinion clearly doesn't determine how good a song/singer is !!]

sorry if this is boring i love music ‼️‼️

notre dame - this song is so niceee, the voice is so calming yet desperate? idk if that's the right way to describe it, but it's how i'm gonna. i love how the instruments go together erheregehhss!!! ALSO THE LYRICS. they're so pretty, this song is so pretty. definitely different to my music style, but i still loved it. i'd say a 7.5/10 :]

rabbit run - this one is so cool, not really my type of song tho!! it's got like an upbeat sound but then sadder lyrics which i love ! <3 i really like that in the first verse + chorus it's kinda slower and then speeds up + changes tempo (? idk im not good in music terminology) it just makes it sound sm cooler ehagdjhasg!! 5.7/10 !

teach me about dying - I LOVE THIS ONE its got upbeat music from the start, and the sadder lyrics like i loved in the prev one ! but its also saying "teach me about dying, so i can learn how to live." which to me is saying you need to see the bad before you can properly see the good? it also has this 80s feel i really like it! 9/10

when i can't sleep - the intro really reminded me of pink pony club by chappell roan. it's really soft and prettyyyy ! Idk how else to describe this other than delicate and oceany! 8/10

symphony - aagfhgoossh ur music taste is actually so pretty, i love these sm. i think this one may be closer to music i listen to !! 9.5/10 !!!

fool's gold - this one's not rly my style, but i wouldn't mind listening to it [like if im listening to music with friends]. still loved the lyrics, the meaning in them's quiet evident ! 4.5/10 (i'm giving everything .5s oopsies)

alaska - i think uve started an obsession with maggie rogers for me, her voice is so pretty and she fits right with the instruments so well (that sounds weird but wtv!!) 9/10

helen of troy - I FORGOT ABT LORDE I HAVENT HEARD HER IN SO LONG. she's so good, i never really got into her but i'm def adding this song to my playlist!! the chorus is so HSUSIABDYX7AI its js a delicious song i love it. 9/10

+ i'm gonna rate the album tomorrow because i'm so tired rn it's 1am 😔😔 which is also why i'm very sorry if some of this doesn't make sense

sorry for rambling, i am js very happy somebody recommended me music hehehehe ‼️‼️

[concordewillfly]

I LOVE FRAIL BODYS LATEST ALBUM SOOOO MUCH its so much more blackgazey than their debut n aaaaa its so beautiful…… i only got into slow crush bc neige from alcest had it on one of his playlists n when i saw they had an album called aurora i was like omg. I Tell Ro. & im not That into screamo (dont like sharing too much about myself on anon bc im 99% u & ra have already figured out who i am 💀), im much more of a black metal guy 🤞🏻 OH AND ALSO saw u have an autumn for crippled children on ur playlists ur taste is exquisiteeeee 😁 - 💿

hiiii again (im answering both asks here) <3 i knew in my heart u probably liked frail body which makes me soooo happy its such a good band/album <3 ive just started listening to more blackgaze and its been such a joy... looove alcest too (their last album is sooo!!) + its so sweet that u thought of me are u kidding :^) also do not overestimate my ability to recognise people omg im the worst at that so u dont have to worry about it at all, im just happy youre here whoever u are tbh <3 i love that youre into black metal bc im not really a metal guy so recs are welcome... + thank u truly i found an autumn for crippled children on here from somebody cooler than me and i fell in love immediately... also ive never heard of holy fawn so i WILL listen to them soon and share my thoughts!!!

[galacticlamps]

green emoji asks 🦖🌴🥝? c:

🦖 - what’s your favorite dinosaur?

as a kid I loved any of the ones with really long necks because I loved going to the natural history museum and being in one of the biggest rooms I'd ever seen and there being a GUY whose NECK took up practically the whole length of it all on its own

as an adult, I have a little dino carved from some kind of rock that I keep on my bookcase which I choose to believe is like a low-res stegosaurus even tho the ridges on its back are not individually marked & that specific (vaguely defined) dude is my favorite dinosaur

🌴 - what’s your dream vacation?

Hmm, I don't really feel like I have one? There are plenty of places I know I'd like to go if I ever get the chance but in my mind calling something a dream vacation implies a bit more of a plan than that. (I think that's bc I'm not very good at the whole relax & do nothing kind of vacation - if I'm going somewhere I really feel like I've gotta research all the details before to make sure I'm doing & seeing enough that it's not a waste of time or money. But that includes taking into account seasonal/temporary events/shows/exhibits, and I don't bother looking into those things unless I know I have an opportunity to follow through on them coming up soon, which hasn't been the case for a while now)

But if I stop being fussy about the fact that I'm not actually dreaming about a specific itinerary for five seconds, then the answer's definitely Scotland. Of all the places I want to see, it's got the worst ratio of minutes I've spent in the country (being zero) to number of things I want to see there, from whole cities and areas down to individual museums, historical sites, places relatives came from, national parks, and even distilleries. But it's also way too much to fit into one trip, so I think of wanting to go there as less of a specific vacation than other things I want to do less badly but can at least conceive of more clearly - like saying that in the fall, I hope to visit a relative's house in the mountains and spend a few days in a little town with a nice cider mill.

🥝 - what’s your music taste like?

A mess! Really, I'm so bad at putting music in categories. My main playlist is literally called What's a Genre - and it's 90% Irish & Scottish bands (though even saying that feels misleadingly homogeneous, since I can count everyone from the Dubliners to Hozier & the Tannahill Weavers to the Proclaimers that way) but there's also other things that kinda maybe fit there, like The Amazing Devil (and Robert Hallow & the Holy Men? does anyone know if they still exist?) and The Decemberists, and then ones that even I know don't belong there, like ELO and MCR. And that's just the one playlist. If I'm working from home, my go-to is Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald & co for some reason. When it comes to decades, I tend to favor 60s pop (or is it rock? I'm not sure I know the difference), and I'd take the Kinks over the Beatles - but I also keep them on a playlist with ABBA, David Bowie, Queen, and They Might Be Giants (which is mainly for both cleaning & hanging out with friends). I also still own & regularly listen to a lot of music from different genres whose only unifying factor is 'was actively on the radio when i was in middle school.' And I'd be lying to make myself sound cooler if I didn't also admit that I have a pretty sizable library of cast albums & show tunes, which I'll also shuffle through like any other playlist. The last album I bought was Skerryvore's Tempus that came out last week, the only concert I've been to as neither a friend nor a worker was Billy Joel. I think the Waterboys might be my most 'any context, any mood' safe to put on in the background to vibe with w/o getting distracted, especially Fisherman's Blues. When I'm not looking to listen to something very specific, the only deterrent from putting my entire library on shuffle is the fact that random Big Finish audio tracks will play if I do that.

So I think the friends who've called it 'eclectic' were being generous, but I also don't have any better descriptors to offer up.

[1d1195]

HIIII IM BACK ahh ive missed you, the wedding is over im soooo tired, i danced sooo much my feet are KILLING me but its whtvr it was fun, and i met a lot on new people who were just so sweet ! summertime is soooo ughh to me tho the days are too long and its wayyyy to hot😭

I READ SUNFLOWER, HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS the part where she asked for his business card and he was like ‘i’d give her my whole wallet fr’ HAHAHA I LOVE HIM

Harry wanted to tell her that he would give her whatever she wanted for as long as they lived and then in their next life too. But instead, he simply nodded and tucked her card safely into his wallet. OH MY GODDDD you write the yearning so well i’m about to pass away

He wanted to call her Miss Sunflower or something similar, but he had one neuron still keeping him sane and decided ‘love’ was more neutral than not. this is the sweetest thing in the whole world omggggg😭😭🤍🤍🤍🤍 jealousrry is a cult fav and you do him so well

i saw you said you went to see niall ? THATS SO AWESOME i actually met a niall stan at the wedding, they played a 1d song (what makes you beautiful, basic but classic) and ofc i was going CRAZYYYY HAHAHA and we got to talking abt our favs ahhh it’s so nice to bond over something like that and we were talking abt how awesome it would be if the band decided to do a reunion tour🥹🤍✨

i have a new song !! “i love you, im sorry” by gracie abrams she had a whole new album come out and i love it (there’s another one called ‘blowing smoke’ SOO GOOD) but something abt that song it’s just sooooo amazing. i adore the bridge.

how are you !! missed you so much let me know what’s new with you love youuu <3333

~🎶

Hiiii! I've missed you too! Sounds like you had lots of fun with the wedding! Nice you met new people! IT'S WAY TOO HOT. It's just starting to turn to rain where I am and it's FINALLY bearable being 20 degrees cooler than it was the rest of this week!

I truly think Harry would only make money so he could give it to his gf. Like he's just so whipped in my head. I pray that's true.

😭 you're so sweet. I def am a female writer writing a man but it's so fun to imagine him so GONE for his lady

"He wanted to call her Miss Sunflower..." that was ME who wanted to call her Miss Sunflower but I thought it was too close to Miss Wildflower and I didn't want to take away from that 😭🙄 very irritated with myself about it tbh hahahahahahaha

I'm glad you think I do jealousrry Harry well because I don't think I do. Or I think I do a really understated one and I never know/feel it's enough

I think it should be a law you have to play WMYB at a wedding. My bff that I go to all my 1D related events with and send all my 1D related tiktoks to have discussed that i would simply play all their albums as a band and solo at my wedding and everyone would just have to enjoy. It's so nice you got to bond over it! I think it's amazing how music and artists can bring people together! I actually dread them doing a reunion tour in some ways. Of course I would be ecstatic but with the way concert ticket prices are, I really don't know if I could do it :/ And I'm sure it would be INSANE to get them anyway. I would LOVE to see them together again, don't get me wrong. I think there were a lot of things they didn't get to have closure on from their abrupt-ish ending. I also think it's CRIMINAL that the Made in the AM album wasn't toured. But I don't think I would be financially able to see them and that makes me really sad tbh 😭

I'm loving "I love you, I'm sorry" !!! It's def got a vision in my head 👀 You were the best, but you were the worst. Relatable 😭 I love it! It's def gonna be repeated for a few days! 🤭

IF SHE'S GOT A PULSE SHE MEETS YOUR STANDARDS NOW. GO OFF QUEEN. I would go off the grid if I knew that song was about me. I love it! I'm going to make a summer playlist for sure with it on there!

Nothing new here. I went for walks this week and just relaxed a lot. I'm hoping to not stress myself out too much this summer. Other than that 🤷‍♀️ nothing much here. I should reach out to a lot of my friends that I don't see often. The one thing that's hard as a teacher is I have a lot more free time in the summer (for which I'm very grateful) but my nonteacher friends don't want to hang out on a weeknight to get dinner 😂 it takes up like every weekend! But that's a me problem hahahaha

LOVE YOU!!!! 💕

xoxo

[mikuchae]

mikuchae's top 40 kpop releases of 2023

DISCLAIMERS: i did not include japanese releases, english versions, remixes, or korean versions of japanese songs. but kep1ers "i do, do you? was the best japanese release this year, FYI. also i'm sorry if your favorite album didn't make it on this list. i'm sure i probably liked a bside off of it or two.

40. A Dream of ILY:1 - ILY:1

ALBUM RANKING:

twinkle twinkle (title track)

tasty

secret recipe

thanks to

2024 will be the year ILY:1 breaks out of nugudom. mark my words. every track on this ep brings the sort of fairytale/storybook/christian horse girl feel back to kpop effortlessly. it also fits the members incredibly well and i hope its the direction their company continues to take with their music for a while.

39. TEENFRESH - STAYC

ALBUM RANKING:

i wanna do

not like you

be mine

bubble (title track)

first of all, we're way overdue for a full album. second of all, great ep. bubble is almost infectious, a sugary sweet, vibrant song that makes it almost impossible to be in a bad moon when you listen to it; which is why it's such a crime to make it less than 3 minutes long. anyway, i think stayc, for a group just 3 years old, have managed to create such a wonderful discography filled with gems and songs that can fit in any kpop stan's playlist

38. KILL MY DOUBT - ITZY

ALBUM RANKING:

bet on me

none of my business

bratty

psychic lover

cake (title track)

kill shot

i have so much fun when i listen to itzy. it's been an honor to support them since dalla dalla and see their discography grow into the catalogue it is today, no matter what some losers on stan twitter say. bet on me is probably my favorite song from by them to date, a cooler, more mature switch from their usual music. it's a perfect song to listen to while walking outside w friends at night, and the meaning behind it makes it even more special to take in.

37. FACE - Jimin

ALBUM RANKING:

like crazy (title track)

alone

face-off

set me free pt 2

interlude: dive

oh, hey! the first boy-group adjacent release! was wondering when we were gonna get to that. anyway, this releasing the same night as fall out boys album was life-changing for me. like crazy is, well, a crazy song. the instrumental following the first chorus grabs you by your ankles and drags you through the rest of the song. the somber feeling in alone and face-off feels like sinking into a pit of tar ( in a good way). i'm not even sure how to describe set me free pt 2, with it's bone-shattering instrumental and jimin's booming, commanding voice suckerpunching you through the song-- like he's demanding to be heard. a one of a kind solo debut from a one of a kind performer in the industry.

36. A Midsummer NMIXX'S Dream + expérgo - NMIXX

ALBUM(S) RANKING:

roller coaster

paxxword

party o'clock (title track)

love me like this (title track)

my gosh

home

just did it

young dumb stupid

yes im including both releases bc a midsummer nmixx's dream was too good to be used for just two songs and also its my ranking list and i'll do what i want. besides that, im glad that this was a better year for nmixx. it's been tough seeing the backlash they've had simply for releasing just more experimental music than other groups-- which makes me understand this switch for a more smooth, less "noisy" sound. at least for these two releases - soñar seems to have that "nmixx change up" concept back, and we love her for that. back to these two releases-- i loved roller coaster so much. fun song, fun mv, fun choreo, i love fun kpop songs.

35. OMG + Get Up - NewJeans

ALBUM(S) RANKING:

ditto

cool with you

super shy

new jeans

get up

omg (title track)

asap

eta (title track? idk all of these songs had mvs)

newjeans continues to blow me away with every release. the only reason this isnt top 10 despite every song being basically perfect is bc every song is way too short (what the fuck is ador thinking making get up less than a minute long and then saying "uhhhh maybe we'll release the full ver someday 🤫. anyway) . and, although it was released in dec of 2022, i cant pass up an opportunity to talk about ditto. a beautifully haunting song with a melancholy feeling perfect for the upcoming month of january. just perfectly produced songs with concepts executed effortlessly and further cementing the group as a force to be reckoned with even with just 3 official EP's.

34. I'VE MINE - IVE

ALBUM RANKING:

off the record

payback

either way

baddie (title track)

ott

holy moly

following their first full album in april (which is coming up soon!!), ive once again took over the kpop scene with their first official EP. baddie wasn't necessarily a concept i had imagined for ive, especially since i've typically thought of their concept as a more mature, modern version of iz*one's. but i was pleasantly surprised with the song and the music video. however, i definitely prefer both pre-releases, with off the record being my favorite of the three and of the album. i'm a sucker for kpop producers sampling older songs, so this song using "memory" from cats was no exception. ALSO LOOK HOW CUTE WONYOUNG IS IN THE MV W THOSE GLASSES ASJAKDJSDHJLE

33: 5-STAR - Stray Kids

ALBUM RANKING

collision

hall of fame

item

topline (ft. tiger jk)

super bowl

fnf

mixtape:time out

s-class (title track)

get lit

dlc

youtiful

you either get stray kids's music or you don't. thankfully, i do. or at least i really did with this album. idk. i know experimental, "noise" music isn't every kpop fan's thing but i don't mind it-- especially if its from a group that does it exceptionally well. if i were recommend a non-experimental skz song to someone, it would probably be collision- a nice step back from the loud, fast-paced songs on the album.

32. THE WORLD EP. 2: OUTLAW + THE WORLD EP.FIN : WILL - ATEEZ

ALBUM(S) RANKING:

dune

we know

wake up

crazy form (title track)

wake up

this world

matz (hongjoong + seonghwa)

outlaw

arriba

emergency

dreamy day

bouncy (title track)

silver light

it's you (yeosang, san, and wooyoung)

django

youth (yunho + mingi)

everything (jongho)

fin: will

ateez's "the world" series is probably one of my favorite examples of world building in kpop. from the references to actual art pieces in the "guerrilla" mv to the cool "choose your character" type teasers with bouncy and crazy form, this was truly a great era for their music. both albums are a ride from start to finish. with this world building you up for dune's electrifying chorus like a rollercoaster trudging up a hill. the eery synths in we know feel like you're being prepped for a boss fight, either against or alongside ateez. although this recent album was the last of their "the world" trilogy, i hope they do decide to incorporate the instrumentals that accompanied it in future projects.

31. READY TO BE - TWICE

ALBUM RANKING:

wallflower

moonlight sunrise

set me free (title track)

got the thrills

crazy stupid love

blame it on me

no, it definitely doesn't make me irrationally emotional that we've now switched to just one regular twice comeback per year, why do you ask? besides that, another solid album from them. wallflower quickly became one of my favorite bsides of theirs with it's sultry, cooler feel to the instrumental. also i rly like the part in the set me free choreo where they're all dancing in a circle during the post chorus. we love you twice.

30. ISTJ - NCT DREAM

(and fuck tumblr for putting a limit on videos 🖕🏻)

ALBUM RANKING:

yogurt shake

blue wave

istj (title track)

broken melodies

skateboard

poison

starry night

pretzel

sos

like we just met

i'm happy to say that this is the first time i've enjoyed an nct dream full album entirely. in terms of title tracks, i still dont rly vibe with hot sauce, and it took me a bit to warm up to glitch mode, but ive always enjoyed most of the bsides. istj, however, is probably one of the best examples of "good" experimental sm music. a loud, techno-ish instrumental but with plenty of amazing vocal moments so the song doesnt sound like they're yelling at you. yogurt shake takes the cake as one of the cutest boygroup bsides of the year, another track that makes it difficult to be in a bad mood when you listen to it.

29. I feel - (G)I-DLE

ALBUM RANKING:

queencard (title track)

paradise

lucid

allergy

peter pan

all night

2023 was finally the year i decided to bite the bullet and jump into idles discography, with queencard being the catalyst for it. queencard is pure fun and you're miserable if you dont like it. oh, you're not a queencard? your boob and booty isnt hot? get over it.

28. Second Wind - BSS

ALBUM RANKING:

lunch

fighting (ft. lee young ji)

7pm (ft. peder elias)

i'd like to give a big shoutout to booseoksoon for releasing a song that manages to get me psyched up for work every single morning without fail. and not only that, but releasing an EP with a really cool concept; each track representing a different time of the day. ive listened to lunch many a time while waiting for 20 minutes in the line at qdoba. and i wouldn't have it any other way.

27. MY WORLD - aespa

ALBUM RANKING:

welcome to my world (ft. nævis)

thirsty

im unhappy

spicy (title track)

salty & sweet

til we meet again

would you guys be mad at me if i said i ultimately preferred this concept for aespa instead of the whole kwangya shebang? i hope not. on its own, i think the whole kwangya/alternate version concept is cool but the execution of it has been kinda meh since black mamba, but all the songs that came from it have been pretty good, dont get me wrong. plus i think it should have been just aespas concept all along instead of trying to tie in exos 10+ year old storyline into it, but whatever. anyway, incredibly strong bsides. also i <3 the blonde hair on karina

26. Love War + HATE XX - YENA

ALBUM(S) RANKING:

love war (title track)

wash away

hate rodrigo (ft. yuqi of (g)-idle) (title track)

wicked love

bad hobby

intro: wash away

and a big fuck you to kpop stans who lack basic media literacy to know that hate rodrigo is a satirical song about celebrity worship and an even bigger fuck you to yuehua for doing barely anything to protect yena when she was getting hate for the song. primal rage aside, very nice songs from her this year!! love war was an interesting concept change from her past two title tracks but that isn't a bad thing at all!! also yena + yuqi saiki k reference <3

25. The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION - TOMORROW X TOGETHER

ALBUM RANKING:

tinnitus (wanna be a rock)

farewell, neverland

devil by the window

sugar rush ride (title track)

happy fools (ft. coi leray)

my ult group makes their debut onto this list with their january EP. i thought of this album as a return to their softer concept seen in songs like "fairy of shampoo" or "blue hour", but with a more mature feel to the concept. tinnitus is an absolute gem in their discography, with the song and choreography (if you watch their performance) telling the story of using music as a coping mechanism. farewell neverland is one of txt's most underrated songs, in my opinion- another perfect song for winter. a brilliant start for boy group music this year.

24. D-DAY - Agust D

ALBUM RANKING

snooze (ft. ryuichi sakamoto and woosung of the rose)

people pt 2 (ft. IU)

haegeum (title track)

amygdala

huh? (ft. j-hope)

interlude: dawn

sdl

d-day

life goes on

polar night

when bts first announced their "chapter 2" back in june of 2022, i knew that yoongi's solo release was gonna be good. initially, daechwita was one of the only kpop songs i liked in 2020, and i patiently waited for him to produce another song using korean traditional instruments since it worked with his style so well. and my god, does haegeum deliver. using an instrument of the same name, haegeum is almost terrifying-- and the music video that accompanies it makes the experience all the more immersive. snooze is probably my favorite solo bside from a bts member this year-- an overwhelming yet inspiring track with a beautiful instrumental from the late ryuichi sakamoto, who had passed away a little less than a month before d-day's release, and kim woosung's wonderful vocals. people pt 2 was also an excellent pre-release, and has left me wanting at least 20 songs by yoongi with an IU feature. just a wonderful album overall that i regret not being able to see live every day.

23. Loossemble - Loossemble

ALBUM RANKING:

strawberry soda

newtopia

colouring

day by day

real world

sensitive (title track)

intro: searching for their friends

the second post blockberry creative freedom release, loossemble's self-titled debut EP is just a fun and easy listen. i also really appreciated them for releasing this on a friday so i didn't have to worry about going to work with less than five hours of sleep. from the jazz instrumentals reminiscent of red velvet's "birthday" in real world to the unapologetically cute intro title "searching for their friends", this album is pure kpop. i also think it was really sweet that yves, despite not being an official member of this unit, got to participate in the production of strawberry soda and make one of the sweetest b-sides of this year.

22. Howl - CHUU

ALBUM RANKING:

aliens

my palace

howl (title track)

hitchhiker

underwater

i am so unbelievably proud of jiwoo, especially as someone who's ulted her since 2018. her journey has been both heartbreaking and utterly inspiring. this ep is a wonderful solo debut and exactly how i envisioned it. aliens, an 80's-esque track, has aided me in several walks through campus, aka therapy. just an extremely solid ep that i also wish i could have seen live but alas had a final on the day she was going to be even remotely near me.

21. <Version Up> - ODD EYE CIRCLE

ALBUM RANKING:

air force one (title track)

je ne sais quoi

my secret playlist

did you wait?

love me like

lucid

hey, that's three loona releases in a row! wacky! anyway, with how deprived i was of loona music and how often the boycott podcasts kept getting deleted off of spotify, oec could have released an album of them reading aloud from a cookbook and i would have streamed it like it was actual music. air force one is a masterpiece, a song that sounds like exactly what i would have expected to hear from odd eye circle if loona's subunits had continued to release music in official ot12 albums. the bsides are nothing short of perfect, from je ne sais quoi's hypnotic chorus to love me like's pep that motivates me when I go on the treadmill at the gym. also jinsoul with an eye patch was hot.

20. UNFORGIVEN - LE SSERAFIM

HERE'S A GIF FROM THE MV BC I CAN ONLY POST 10 AUDIOS FUCK YOUUUU TUMBLR

ALBUM RANKING:

eve, psyche, and the bluebeard's wife

flash forward

fire in the belly

no-return (into the unknown)

burn the bridge

unforgiven (title track)

fearnot (between you, me, and the lamppost)

source music thinks they're slick for calling it a full album and then making the half that i didn't rank just a "greatest hits" compilation. i see you, bastards. anyways, shoutout to epatbw for being my most-listened to kpop song this year. it's funny to think that the part of "the hydra" that was never released back in oct of 2022 would end up being one of the most stand-out, love it or hate it b-sides of 2023. overplayed? you could argue that. catchy as hell? you betcha. flash forward also stands out to me, not only bc it's just a really cute song, but sakura finally has lines!!! the world cheered!!!

19. Guilty - Taemin

ALBUM RANKING:

guilty (title track)

not over you

she loves me, she loves me not

blue

night away

... the rizzness

taemin, we are so happy a REAL performer is back. guilty, the styling, the choreography, and the bsides that accompany it are so unapologetically taemin. a perfect return to an extremely impressive solo career spanning what will now be ten years. also if i ignore the first sentence of the rizzness i can like the song. his power.

18. Good and Great - Key

ALBUM RANKING:

coolas

good and great (title track)

can't say goodbye

intoxicating

mirror, mirror

live without you

if i could sit down and have a conversation with any idol and talk about their creative direction, it would be kibum. i'd also like to be in a committed relationship with him but i digress. from the dystopian workplace setting in good and great to the campy 80's horror movie elements used in the gasoline concept photos, to the bowie-inspired space concept in bad love, kibum has cemented himself as a one of a kind artist-- and has made me secretly wish for him to work with my favorite groups in terms of styling and concept direction. coolas is electrifying-- tbh one of the few english songs to come out of sm that i've enjoyed. kibum is many things to me, but most of all, he is a STAR.

17. EXIST - EXO

ALBUM RANKING:

love fool

hear me out

let me in

regret it

no makeup

another day

private party

cinderella

cream soda (title track)

i was so deep into my zb1 hyperfixation in july that, although i listened to it the same hour that it came out, i didn't come back to exist as much as i thought i would. which i'm regretting as i type this and relisten to the album for the first time in a while. i unfortunately still can't really vibe with cream soda, and i'm upset with myself for not knowing why. but, rather than focus on the negatives, let's talk about the positives. it's an exo album. every bside here is handcrafted by jesus.

16. Circle - Onew

ALBUM RANKING:

circle (title track)

anywhere

no parachute

paradise

caramel (ft. giriboy)

rain on me

expectations

cough

walk with you

always

good lord he's done it again. after serving pure cutieful in dice and gut punching me with blue, jinki somehow does both with circle. i'll let you all in on a little secret; i'm a sucker for choirs being utilized in kpop (ex. this song, kind of dune by ateez, mama by j-hope). this song is already gorgeous on it's own, but the choir in the background of the chorus makes it all the more heart wrenching. the bsides are all excellently produced-- from the breezy track anywhere to paradise, which is heavily reminiscent of sunshine, one of my favorite bsides from his previous album.

15. HARD - SHINee

(he's so fine)

ALBUM RANKING

10x

juice

identity

satellite

the feeling

like it

insomnia

hard (title track)

gravity

sweet misery

going on 16 years into their career and not a single miss. going on 16 years into their career and still being innovative. going on 16 years and still having an impeccable discography that still holds up TO THIS DAY.

14. LOVESTRUCK! - Kep1er

ALBUM RANKING:

happy ending

why

lvly

back to the city

giddy (title track)

bet u losers didn't think kep1er would show up here. THINK AGAIN, FOOLS!!!! kep1er once again releasing an incredibly high-quality EP only for it to go completely under the radar of kpop stans thanks to their shitty company. this concept was executed wonderfully, from the beautiful concept photos to that indie-film style trailer dropped before the album that apparently just never got brought up again. this album even has some of my favorite vocal moments of 2023, from the melancholy post-chorus in happy ending to chaehyuns spectacular high note in giddy.

13. MELTING POINT - ZEROBASEONE

ALBUM RANKING:

take my hand

melting point

kidz zone

good night

crush (title)

zb1 gave us the best boy group debut this year and then said "watch us do it again" 4 months later. ANOTHER perfect album for winter. also, for a group not even a year old yet, kidz zone feels nostalgic enough to make you feel like you've known these boys for years now.

12. I've IVE - IVE

ALBUM RANKING:

cherish

blue blood

not your girl

hypnosis

next page

heroine

lips

shine with me

i am (title track)

kitsch

with starships track record of literally just single albums in 2022, i honestly thought it was gonna take years before we even got rumors of a full album for ive. so imagine my surprise when they gave us one in april. this album is one of a kind, with powerful bsides like blue blood and hypnosis to cuter, more bubblegum pop tracks like cherish and not your girl.

11. SEVENTEENTH HEAVEN - SEVENTEEN

(cannot find a gif of god of music anywhere for some reason so here's a gif from home run)

ALBUM RANKING:

diamond days

monster

god of music (title track)

back 2 back

yawn

headliner

woozi you fucking genius you. a spectacular album to end the year with. from the callback to their literal first song in diamond days to the haunted house-ass instrumental in monster, another masterpiece from seventeen to fawn over until they release the next masterpiece.

TOP 10 HEYOOOOO

10. FML - SEVENTEEN

(woozi pls pick me)

ALBUM RANKING

dust

i don't understand but i luv u

f*ck my life

super (title track)

april shower

fire

hey speaking of seventeen here's the masterpiece they gave us before god of music. when super comes on i become the physical manifestation of "bro thinks he's on the team." FUCK YEAH SEVENTEEN, I LOVE MY TEAM AND MY CREW!!!

9. Chill Kill - Red Velvet

ALBUM RANKING:

knock knock (who's there?)

underwater

bulldozer

iced coffee

nightmare

will I ever see you again?

chill kill (title track)

one kiss

scenery

wings

it's a red velvet full album. do the math. every song is gonna be perfect. now don't make us wait 6 years for another one again i swear to god @/smtown.

8. Layover - V

ALBUM RANKING:

slow dancing (title track)

rainy days

for us

blue

love me again

just insane production. slow dancing is one of the prettiest solo songs from a bts member, teased originally as a 70's style song about dancing with your lover-- that had me hooked from the beginning and i hadn't even heard the song yet. i mean of course i would know all about that considering me and taehyung are in a fully committed relationship haha i mean what lolololol

7. the billage of perception: chapter three - billlie

ALBUM RANKING:

nevertheless

enchanted night ~ white night

euonia (title track)

extra-ordinary

various and precious (moment of inertia)

lionhearted (the real me)

my favorite release from them to date. billlie are on their way to crafting one of the most intricate, unique discographies in the industry. but honestly, the final chorus of nevertheless alone is enough to say that they've already achieved that. kpop groups are playing checkers. billlie is playing chess.

6. ok im gonna be honest i still havent listened to kiss of life's full debut album yet but i really like sugarcoat and i think that song is good enough to deserve it's own spot in the top 10. we love you natty. we're proud of how far you've come.

5. GOLDEN - Jungkook

(ok i know this technically isn't kpop bc every song is in english but have you considered i love jungkook)

ALBUM RANKING:

standing next to you (title track)

closer to you (ft. major lazer)

somebody

yes or no

3D (ft. jack harlow)

seven

shot glass of tears

too sad to dance

hate you

the last bts member to release an album this year, golden is modern pop perfection. standing next to you booms with it's high pace and it's almost as if you can feel jungkook's stage presence even if you're just listening to the song.

4. Unlock My World - fromis_9

ALBUM RANKING:

attitude

my night routine

#menow (title track)

prom night

what I want

eye contact

in the mirror

don't care

wishlist

bring it on

it's hard to rank an album when all of it's songs are perfect, as has been the problem with a lot of these releases, but with fromis_9 in particular. i've said this before on twitter, but fromis are one of the very few groups to have an extremely seamless, graceful transition into a more mature concept since their debut in 2018. i can only hope and pray that pledis does more to promote them this year, especially after the success of unlock my world, and continue this gorgeous transition.

3. The Name Chapter: FREEFALL - TOMORROW X TOGETHER

ALBUM RANKING:

skipping stones

dreamer

growing pain

happily ever after

chasing that feeling (title track)

blue spring

deep down

back for more (txt ver)

do it like that (ft. the jonas brothers)

coming in at bronze is txt's third full length-album, which managed to do the impossible; make a rock song released by a kpop group NOT sound corporate. skipping stones is guttural, a song reminiscent of day6's music that, if i were just a tad bit more mentally unstable, would make me fall to my knees and clutch my chest in any public setting if i were to hear it. dreamer feels like a big sister to their older r&b track, 20cm, and just might be better than it. a solid full-length album from my ult group that i will treasure for a while.

2. Magic Hour - Kep1er

ALBUM RANKING:

the door

love on lock

tropical light (yujin, yeseo, youngeun, and xiaoting)

tape (chaehyun, mashiro, dayeon, hikaru, and hiyyih)

galileo (title track)

YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE PRAISING KEP1ER??? YOU'RE TALKING TO HEAD KEPLI1AN HERE. this EP almossttt topped doublast for me. almost. magic hour, although i will defend kep1er's "noisier" music until the day i die, is the concept i admittedly think wakeone should have given them from the start. the softer, more elegant feeling exhibited in tracks like the door and tropical light fit each member down to a t and, if this is the path they will take until july of this year (except they're NOT DISBANDING they're gonna EXTEND THEIR CONTRACT UNDER A DIFFERENT COMPANY MARK MY WORDS), i am extremely excited for what's to come.

and.. without further ado...

YOUTH IN THE SHADE - ZEROBASEONE

ALBUM OF THE YEAR RANKING

in bloom (title)

new kidz on the block

always

back to zerobase

our season

and i

where do i even begin? this year saw the birth of the 5th generation of kpop, and i truly think there was no better song than in bloom to start it. refreshing and whimsical and sampling Aha's "take on me", in bloom is a masterpiece from start to finish. "my day starts and ends with you" rings throughout the song, promising the listener that they will stay with them. let's dissect the rest of the album. back to zerobase, the intro, is both mysterious and welcoming, ushering the listener in with a warm smile but holding something unknown behind it's back, evident in the album trailer it was originally teased in, with possible easter eggs to potential *matpat voice* LOOOREEE. new kidz on the block is fun and cool, telling other groups in the industry to look out, because here they are. and I shows off their cuter side, with lyrics perfectly crafted to fit the y/n fantasies of any zerose. our season is their standard thank you to the fans, we'll promise to stick by your side track except IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD AND THEY'RE GENIUSES FOR LISTING THE SEASONS IN THE SONG IN THE ORDER THAT WE MET THEM IN. finally, always, hao's solo song, is a sweet, vibrant song, carried by hao's beautiful vocals.

and there you have it. a very solid year for kpop for both boy groups and girl groups. this year was probably my favorite for kpop since 2018. now, with the releases already slated for january and the upcoming debuts of some groups, i'd say that 2024 already looks extremely promising be just as good as 2023-- if not better.

[lettheladylead]

running in circles

chapter thirty-six: i can’t stand the sound of another heartbeat in the room summary: Goldie meets Donald and Della Duck. warnings: references to sex, nothing explicit wordcount: 5694 playlist (will be updated as chapters are posted): shorturl.at/bfBCQ ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33776632/chapters/97715214 site link: https://sites.google.com/view/running-in-circles/chapters/chapter36

here’s chapter thirty-six!! text will also be included in this post for those of you that don’t use ao3:

1995; Duckburg -> Egypt:

At eleven years old, Donald Duck thought he knew everything about his uncle.

So far he and his sister had spent two full summers staying in the old (very very very old) man’s lavish mansion, going on crazy adventures and finding treasure and fighting bad guys and definitely having a unique summer vacation compared to his friends at school.

Over those summers (and the occasional winter break…and spring break…and occasional weekend), Donald and Della had grown more and more curious about their uncle. Their mom had told them the basic necessary information - he’s her older brother, he’s the richest duck in the world, he founded and owns the city of Duckburg - but not much more than that. So whenever he went to work and left them alone, they’d dig around his files and his photo albums and his whatever-they-could-find to learn more about him.

In July of 1993, they found his autobiography. It was long and boring, and they skipped most of it because they didn’t really care about anything that happened a million years ago. Uncle Scrooge didn’t seem bothered that they’d read it, he just said he hoped it would inspire them to greatness of their own. Donald did not feel inspired. He just felt bad for his uncle - the man didn’t write about any relationships outside of business or family. How sad was that?

In August of 1994, they found a bunch of women’s clothes in one of his dresser drawers. Naturally they wanted to ask him about it, but Duckworth told them to leave it alone. Fine. There were probably a lot of explanations for that and Donald thought some of them would make Uncle Scrooge seem a little cooler. But he’d just have to let it go.

That was, of course, until March of 1995. Donald and Della finally learned that their uncle did have at least one relationship outside of family and work. They also learned, presumably, the source of the women’s clothing. Though that was super gross to think about.

That was the day they met Glittering Goldie O’Gilt, Uncle’s Scrooge’s rival and…ex-girlfriend?

—

Goldie never had an opportunity to confront Scrooge about his little book. She’d thought about it for days and days after binge reading it, let her anger and confusion stew and fester, but then…nothing. The next time she ran into him after that day was more than two months later, and he surprised her with a nice dinner at home.

She never figured out what the occasion was, but it was nice and romantic and she didn’t feel like being mad at him anymore.

And after that, things were…normal. Well, normal for them.

Every once in a while they’d talk on the phone, occasionally they’d go on an adventure together or she’d crash some event he was at to get on his nerves. It was fun, actually. There were some rough situations, but for the most part it was really good.

Then, suddenly, around 1993, Scrooge stopped answering the phone. He stopped acknowledging her threats. He stopped going to business events that were easy for her to crash. He just stopped.

And it was frustrating. Goldie didn’t think he’d found someone new - he wasn’t with any new women in paparazzi photos - but she also didn’t think his company was doing something so crazy that he needed to be busy 24/7. She’d thought they were in a good place for a little while there, so she was left wondering what happened. Did she do something wrong? She always did things wrong. That shouldn’t have been news to him.

But they’d had several-years-long breaks before, so Goldie decided to give him a bit of time. She had things to keep her busy, too. Like…more treasure hunting. And traveling. So much traveling. She still visited her many Blackjacks, even if she wasn’t in charge of them anymore. And they’d just opened up a new one! In Reykjavik, Iceland. She wasn’t involved in that decision so Goldie was curious to see how it would play out.

1995 was different, though. She didn’t really have anywhere to be or any people to talk to and she missed him and he still hadn’t reached out to her at all. Not even for her birthday. And he definitely knew her birthday after her little tantrum back in ‘68, so he had no excuse! So a week after her birthday, Goldie finally decided she was heading to Duckburg again. She wanted to see him and nothing was going to get in the way of that.

—

She reached Scrooge’s bedroom window with the same ease as always. He had his anti-magic traps set up for De Spell, but nothing that Goldie couldn’t slip around. Using one of her grappling hooks to climb up the side of his mansion came so easily to her it was like breathing, and with a quick flick of the window latch - Goldie was inside.

Of course, Scrooge was not. Well, what did she expect at three in the afternoon on a Wednesday? Scrooge was probably at work. But she could say hi to Duckworth and play around in the Other Bin until he came home.

She thought about going to visit him at work, but he’d be home soon enough. She could take her time and get comfortable.

Goldie exited the bedroom quietly and took two steps into the hallway when she heard something strange and unfamiliar.

“COME ON, DUMBELLA! GIVE IT BACK!”

She blinked twice and walked to the railing so she could look down at the first floor of the house. She was greeted with the sight of two young ducklings running around - first a girl, holding a guitar above her head, and then a boy, chasing her angrily.

What the hell?

One thing she never expected to find in Scrooge’s home was…children. Were they his? Was that why he’d disappeared for the past few years?

(She stared at them while they ran around and realized she didn’t know anything about duckling ages. They didn’t look two. Maybe ten?)

If they were ten, then they probably weren’t his. Or, well, maybe he didn’t know about them until recently. With all his dating around, he could’ve gotten some young thing pregnant and not known about it until she finally came to collect some checks. 

And then he…adopted them? Let them into his home? None of that sounded right. Why would she assume these kids were Scrooge’s? Just because they looked a bit like him?

They certainly didn’t look like Bentina. Wasn’t she a bit old to be a mother, anyway?

Goldie wasn’t sure what to think. Her thoughts were reeling. She was being  absolutely ridiculous. She didn’t have any idea how to react to the rugrats.

“Hello, Miss O’Gilt.”

She turned her head towards the familiar voice and frowned at the expression on Duckworth’s face. How long had he been watching her? He could probably sense her confusion about the kids and she’d bet good money that he wouldn’t tell her a goddamn thing.

“Duckworth.”

“Would you like me to let Mr. McDuck know you’re here?”

Goldie glared at him, feeling a bit judged. “Isn’t he at work?”

“Not today. The children are on Spring Break, so he wanted to be home to spend time with them,” he said casually as he walked away.

She knew he’d said that just to get under her skin. Goldie knew so much about Scrooge that not knowing something, especially something so significant, bothered her a lot. And Duckworth absolutely knew that about her and he probably thought it was hilarious. He was probably whatever-the-butler-version-of-laughing-is all the way down the stairs.

Goldie eventually started to follow him and ended up at the top of the main stairs in Scrooge’s foyer. She looked down at the first floor and watched two pairs of eyes turn to look right back at her.

“Who’re you?!”

“Did Uncle Scrooge hire a nanny?!”

She sighed and settled into a deep-set frown. Children.

“No, Dumbella, she’s probably some kind of cursed villain!”

“You don’t know that! What if she’s a villainous curse?!”

“I am neither of those things,” Goldie said finally, though she was struggling to understand what the young boy was saying. Still, her response worked surprisingly well as she watched the two kids go quiet and stare at her suspiciously.

The kids looked at each other for a moment, nodded, then looked back up at her. The little girl was the one who decided to speak next. “So then…who are you and how’d you get in the house?”

Goldie opened her mouth to speak when she was interrupted.

“Goldie O’Gilt!”

The three of them turned their heads to look at Scrooge who’d just walked in through the doorway to the living room. He was glaring up at her, though there was a fondness in his expression that only Goldie could understand.

“Hey there, Scroogey.”

“Scroogey?”

Duckworth stood behind Scrooge for a few moments, then turned around and went back to work. He usually seemed entertained by their chaotic little relationship, but Goldie supposed he couldn’t stick around for every fight.

“Duckworth said I had a visitor ‘n then I heard the kids yellin’ about villains...I almost thought Magica was back.”

Goldie took a few steps down the stairs. “Has she been visiting a lot lately?”

Scrooge rolled his eyes and leaned on his cane. “Even once is a lot when it comes to her.”

The two kids looked frustrated as they watched the casual conversation, clearly hoping for more context instead of listening to idle chatter.

Goldie finished coming down the stairs and got closer to Scrooge, putting one hand on her hip. “So what’s with the rugrats, sourdough?” she asked, the tiniest bit of jealous anger in her voice. She hoped he didn’t notice.

He glanced down at the two of them and then back up at Goldie. “This is Donald and Della,” he said, walking behind them for emphasis. “My kids.”

Unable to stop herself, Goldie frowned deeply and couldn’t contain her expression of anger and confusion and embarrassment. That was, until Donald and Della looked up at Scrooge and responded to him with a combination of laughter and disgusted sounds.

“You’re not our dad!” Della said, nudging her elbow into Scrooge’s side.

“Yeah! Our dad’s in Jamaica!” Donald agreed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t be weird, Uncle Scrooge!”

Uncle.

Goldie slowly closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to fight the urge to punch Scrooge in the face. He absolutely knew she was jealous and wanted to see how she’d react to that sort of news and she played right into his hands like some kind of sucker. He was the one who was supposed to play into her hands! She needed to start conning people again or she’d completely lose her touch.

“You’re hilarious,” she said pointedly.

Scrooge chuckled and patted both of the kid’s heads. “They’re Hortense’s twins. I told ye about her tryin’ to get pregnant, right?”

“Hmmm…” Goldie tried to think back to the last time they talked about either of his sisters. “...maybe? Good for her, I guess.”

As the billionaire was about to respond again, Della suddenly climbed up on his back and picked up his top hat, placing her head on top of Scrooge’s and the hat on top of her head. “OKAY BUT LIKE WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

Scrooge reached up and grabbed Della, placing her back down on the floor. “This is my…um, this is Goldie.”

Goldie raised a curious eyebrow at his little slip-up. What exactly was he thinking of saying just then?

“Yeah you said that already. But who is Goldie?” Della asked impatiently.

“You’ve never mentioned me?” Goldie asked faux-sadly (though she was a little sad about it, if she was being honest).

He side-eyed her and glanced down at the kids. “Goldie is…an old friend.”

“Old ‘cause her hair is gray or old like you’ve known her forever?”

“C’mon, Della, obviously it’s both!”

Goldie had to stop her eyes from rolling into the back of her head. This was exactly the commentary she expected when she decided to let her hair go gray. Well, she preferred to think of it as silver. But most people saw them as the same.

Scrooge looked up at her and smiled that stupid handsome smile that made her want to kiss him. “Ye look nice in silver, dear.”

Donald and Della looked at each other suddenly, realizing something simultaneously.

“Wait a sec…oh, no!”

“I think she’s Uncle Scrooge’s…”

“...girlfriend!” they shouted together.

Scrooge turned positively red and put an agitated hand to his temple as the two kids started gagging and rolling around saying things about ‘gross old people romance’ and whatnot. He sighed deeply and Goldie watched knowingly as his temper flared. Oh, those kids were about to have a bad time.

“DUCKWORTH!”

The butler appeared next to Goldie in an instant and she was embarrassed that he managed to startle her.

“Yes, Mr. McDuck?”

“Take them to their room,” he said grumpily, ignoring their apologies as Duckworth dragged them upstairs.

Goldie simply watched, not really sure how to react to everything. She was a bit agitated. Not just because the kids called her old and gross, but…seeing Scrooge with kids was weird for her. For a lot of reasons. Even though they weren’t his kids, they were still spending time with him. He had apparently taken off work to hang out with them? What was up with that?

“They’re so much like Hortense.”

She shrugged. “So, what, you’re babysitting?”

“Ah, well…” Scrooge awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “At first Hortense just dropped them off here once in a while. Then it turned into every other weekend. And now…they stay here over school breaks.”

Goldie stared at him. “That’s…a lot.”

“Aye.”

“And you’re enjoying it?”

“Ye know, Goldie,” Scrooge said dreamily, looking up the stairs. “Even though they’re a handful and often a nuisance, they’re also…they make me feel young again. I never expected myself to enjoy spendin’ time with bairns, but here I am.”

She crossed her arms loosely - it looked more like she was hugging herself than being stern. Goldie was surprised. And annoyed. She didn’t want to talk about kids, especially not with Scrooge. It was a weird sore subject for her and he didn’t know and he wouldn’t get it. “So I wanted to ask if you know about Antony and Cleobatra.”

“Oh.” Scrooge turned to her, realizing the conversation about children was over. He didn’t mind - he was pretty sure that Goldie didn’t like kids since she never showed any interest in them. “I have.”

“I thought we could go look for their tomb,” she said casually, picking at some fibers on her shirt. “But I guess you can’t, since you’ve got kids now.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be daft, O’Gilt! Duckworth can watch the two of ‘em while you and I hunt down the Lost Tomb of Cleobatra!”

Goldie smiled at him, excited and trying not to be too obvious about it. “Sounds perfect.”

—

“Do you know Goldie?” Della asked Duckworth, wiggling around. “Is she our aunt?!”

Duckworth huffed - making a noise that some people might’ve even called a laugh. “Not quite.”

“So you do know her, then,” Donald pointed out. “Why’s she here? What’s she like?”

The butler placed the two kids on the floor and glanced back down the hallway, listening to see if Scrooge and Goldie were still downstairs. After confirming, he leaned over towards the kids. “Miss O’Gilt and your uncle have been seeing each other for a long, long time. Longer than I’ve been alive.”

“Wait, what?” Donald said.

Della stuck out her tongue. “So then…they’re, like, married, right?”

Duckworth didn’t want to get into the gritty details, so he shrugged. “She’s not your aunt. Their relationship is…complicated. Mr. McDuck doesn’t like to talk about it so much.”

“That’s dumb. If they’ve been dating forever, then they’re gonna get married eventually!” Della said, jumping onto her bed. “We should get to know our future aunt!”

Donald leaned against his bed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t he want to talk about her? She’s…pretty, I guess. For an old lady, anyway.”

“As I said before, it’s complicated.” Duckworth stepped outside and grabbed their doorknob. “I’m sure you’ll learn more when you’re older, but for now…stay in your room.” He shut the door behind him and left.

The twins looked at each other knowingly.

“There must be something weird about her.”

“Maybe she’s an alien in disguise!” Donald said.

“Or a succubus!”

“What’s a succubus?”

“Some kind of soul-sucking demon lady. There was one on last week’s episode of Darkwing Duck!”

“That show’s so dumb.”

“You’re dumb!”

“No, you!”

They glared at each other for a minute before their anger fizzled and transformed into more confusion.

“Uncle Scrooge definitely knows about whatever’s wrong with her, so she’s probably not a soul-sucking demon.”

“I guess. Maybe she’s like…a vampire, but retired?”

“A retired vampire? Where would she get her blood?”

Della gasped. “What if Uncle Scrooge provides her with blood bags from the hospital!?”

“I don’t know…I can imagine him selling them to her, but giving them away?”

“But he’s in love with her or whatever, so that’s probably messing with his head!”

Donald thought about that for a few seconds, rubbing the bottom of his beak in thought. “You make a good point.”

“I know!”

“I think we both know what we have to do to figure this out,” Donald said, walking towards the door.

Della followed him, fists clenched in front of her and feeling pumped and excited. “We’re totally following them, right?”

“We have to!”

“YES!” Della let out a quiet whoop as Donald opened the door and they listened carefully to find out where the old couple was going next.

—

“So what made you want to go after the tomb? Just lookin’ for a reason to ride in my new plane?” Scrooge asked, sitting comfortably in the back. It was large and impressive and his current pilot was a careful, straight-forward man who had decades of piloting experience and served in the United States Air Force during World War II. A little part of him wanted Goldie to be impressed and comforted by all of that.

Goldie rolled her eyes. “I came across a map during a little excavation and realized it had to do with Cleobatra,” she answered. “And I thought you might be able to help me out.”

Scrooge watched as she scooted closer to him on the bench, his fingers twitching. He wanted to put his arm around her. “I suppose you werenae wrong.”

“I rarely am,” she said with a smirk, leaning closer to his face. “It’s been a while since we spent any time together, you know.”

“I know,” he said quietly, leaning towards her to match. “I’ve been…busy.”

“Mhmm,” Goldie hummed, allowing the tip of her beak to brush against his. “Too busy to reach out?”

Scrooge lifted up a hand and placed it against her cheek. “You didnae reach out, either,” he whispered.

Their conversation ended abruptly with their beaks smushing together in an extended, passionate kiss. Scrooge kept his hands on her face, while one of Goldie’s hands found itself resting on his thigh. Two years wasn’t such a long time, but it felt like forever.

They continued to make out for a bit, but when Goldie adjusted her position to straddle Scrooge’s lap, they were interrupted by a loud screech.

Scrooge stood up suddenly and knocked Goldie onto the floor, barely registering the loud THUD! of her ass smacking into the metal. The both of them were too distracted by the source of the screech to pay much attention.

Della and Donald were staring at them - their heads poking out of a box that they’d clearly been hiding in. And the two of them looked absolutely horrified and disgusted by what they’d just witnessed. In fact, Scrooge had never seen a more scandalized expression on a duckling’s face in his entire life.

“Oh, my God, were you two gonna…like…have…?!”

“Ew, but you’re so old!”

“That’s so gross!”

“And why would you do it on a plane?! What is wrong with you?!”

Scrooge, face red and hands shaking the slightest bit, glared at the kids angrily. “What’re you two doin’ here?” He glanced down and caught Goldie’s expression - she was very, very unhappy - but decided to focus on the rapscallions that snuck onto his plane (not for the first time, and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last).

“We just wanted to join in on the adventure…but not if it’s gonna be all gross like that!”

Donald was making gagging noises behind his sister while she spoke.

Scrooge didn’t find them very funny. “Argh, ye wee numpties! I didnae bring your passports!”

“We brought them.”

He blinked, not expecting that. “Oh. Um…well, I didnae bring enough supplies!”

Donald pulled two backpacks out from the box. “We brought our own.”

The trillionaire grimaced, trying to figure out his next excuse. “Well, I-...I didnae-”

“Scrooge,” Goldie interrupted, having finally picked herself up off the floor. “Just get over it. They’re here, we’re already halfway to Egypt. No point in turning around.”

“Oh yeah, I like her! She’s smart!” Della shouted.

Scrooge rolled his eyes. “They’re good on adventures, I swear, but I…I did miss spendin’ time with ye one-on-one,” he said quietly.

“It’s fine.” Goldie shrugged, having accepted defeat. “So we hunt for treasure without having sex. Not like we’ve never done that before.”

“Do we really need to be hearing this conversation?”

“I’m gonna tell mom you’re trying to traumatize us!”

Scrooge waved a dismissive hand at the twins. “We could leave them on the plane, if ye’d like.”

“Oh, please, sourdough.” Goldie motioned towards the kids with one hand. “They’ll just follow us recklessly and end up in serious trouble, then we’ll have to save them and we’ll never get our hands on the treasure. Easier to just bring them with so we know where they are.”

“That’s…sensible,” Scrooge said with genuine shock in his voice. “I’m just surprised you’re willin’ to spend so much time with…children.”

Della and Donald ran over to the adults and leaned against Goldie on either side of her legs. “She’s got the right idea, Uncle Scrooge!”

Goldie frowned and stared down at the little matted feathers on either side of her. “Don’t make it weird, Scrooge. It’s not like I haven’t spent time with children before.”

Scrooge didn’t respond to that, instead he watched as Donald and Della turned around and started to ask Goldie questions about herself and her life and where she came from. Goldie deflected their questions with nonsense, but Scrooge couldn’t stop the warmth spread throughout his chest at the sight of Goldie chatting casually with his family.

Seeing her with kids - kids of McDuck blood? It made his heart race. He’d wanted that so many times before. Though she obviously had no interest in bairns of her own…he could still fantasize if he wanted to.

—

Goldie was annoyed. Of course she was annoyed! She’d wanted to spend time with Scrooge and not think about kids or see him with kids or be bothered by kids or be called old and ugly and gross by kids. Her anger was perfectly reasonable.

But for whatever reason, she felt bad about being mad. She felt like she shouldn’t be mad, because Scrooge was spending time with his family and what did that have to do with her? She didn’t have any right to tell him he couldn’t. But she didn’t want to hang out with his family more than she already had. His sisters were one thing, they got along just fine in the few times they’d interacted. His sisters were old enough to understand that Goldie wasn’t marrying him or sticking around or anything like that and she didn’t have to explain herself to them.

Kids, however? Kids didn’t understand those kinds of things. Nor should they. But Goldie didn’t want to have to sit them down and explain that she liked their uncle very much but didn’t feel comfortable completely letting down her guard with him and so she always kept him at an emotional arms’ length. They’d probably respond with stupid shit like “but don’t you love each other?” or “why can’t you just talk about your feelings?”

So, yeah. She wasn’t all that surprised when the twins popped up out of nowhere on the plane, ready to get in the way and probably make this adventure ten times longer than it would’ve been otherwise. They had McDuck blood running through their veins, obviously they’d have big personalities and love to be involved in everything.

She decided to be nice to them. Well. Some version of nice. Well…alright, she wouldn’t be mean to them. Hopefully they wouldn’t get attached to her nor hate her. Ideally, they’d see her as a completely neutral entity that appeared every once in a while to annoy their uncle. Then there wouldn’t be any drama when she inevitably left them behind and took the treasure with her.

She could feel Scrooge’s eyes on her as she talked to his niece and nephew, and Goldie wanted to smack him. He was definitely enjoying her awkward misery. He probably thought it was hilarious to watch her embarrass herself in front of children.

“So…your uncle says you two have experience with this sort of thing?” Goldie asked suddenly, interrupting Della’s question about something to do with Ireland.

“Oh, yeah!” the young girl said excitedly. “I landed a plane when I was ten!”

“What.”

“And I’m a great lookout,” Donald said proudly. “I prefer music to adventuring, but…sometimes it can be fun. I like figuring out the puzzles!”

“...right.” Goldie looked up at Scrooge, who gave her a guilty smile. “I’m sure you all make a great little team.”

–-

Goldie did her best to avoid alone time with either of the twins while they traveled through Ibexandria. The girl was so talkative and the boy kept trying to grab onto her whenever he saw a scary bug. It was…obnoxious.

Scrooge didn’t seem to care. Or maybe he was just so used to their antics that he didn’t notice. Goldie was surprised by how comfortable he seemed around them. Scrooge around kids. She’d never thought it possible that he’d willingly spend time with them and even relish the opportunity. He seemed…softer.

Was that going to be a problem for them? She didn’t want it to be.

But it certainly made her feel out of place.

The Scrooge who she fell for (and who fell for her) was rough and hard-hearted and dangerous. And those traits would always be a part of him, deep down - far enough that his public image made him seem friendly, but close enough that she could bring it out of him when she pushed the right buttons.

It was harder to push those buttons with children around. She wasn’t interested in traumatizing anyone for life. But what would that mean for her and Scrooge?

Goldie watched uncomfortably as the twins danced around and pointed out every item on the street that they wanted to own, making Scrooge laugh. He was laughing at the idea of buying them unnecessary trinkets.

He was changing, thanks to his family. And she didn’t know if she could keep up.

–-

“So are you and Uncle Scrooge gonna get married?” Donald asked, rubbing the bruise on his arm.

Goldie sighed and continued to move rocks around, trying to get them back to where Scrooge and Della were. This kid was very difficult to understand. She wondered if his parents thought about getting him a speech therapist. “No.”

Donald watched her work, deciding if he should try to help. But his arm got hurt when the rocks fell, so she couldn’t be mad if he sat this one out. “Why not?”

“Because we just aren’t.” Goldie supposed this could’ve happened even if the kids weren’t there. She kind of wanted to blame them for the cave-in, though. With all their loud talking.

(She and Scrooge never talked loudly or yelled enough to cause a cave-in. Noooo. Of course not. Never.)

“Don’t you like him?”

Goldie paused for a brief moment in her work - caught off guard by the simplicity of the kid’s question. Did she like Scrooge? She loved him. She liked certain things he did and said. She liked being with him. But sometimes she hated him and sometimes she hated everything he did and said. So did that all culminate into liking him?

“It’s complicated.”

Donald groaned and tried to sit down on a rock, only to screech when he realized the rock was sharper than it looked. He rubbed his butt and frowned. “Why do adults always say that?”

She was finally getting somewhere with the rock-moving, thanks to what sounded like Scrooge and his niece moving rocks on the other side. Of course, Scrooge got the helpful one. “Adults just like to be annoying.”

“You can say that again.”

—

“I think this is getting to be too much for ten-year-olds,” Goldie said cautiously. “Maybe we should have them stand guard.”

“How exactly is that safer?” Scrooge said with a twist of his hand. “They’re just bairns!”

“We’re eleven, actually!” Della shouted from across the room.

Goldie ignored her and motioned to the path in front of her, which was filled with obvious booby traps and at least one pit of spikes. “How is that not safer? And it’d be safer for us to not have to watch out for them!”

Scrooge scoffed. “We dinnae have to watch them, they’re very capable!”

“You’re kidding. You can’t put kids in danger like this, it’s irresponsible!”

Goldie watched the switch flick - Scrooge’s temperament changed and she realized immediately that she’d hit a nerve.

“What would you know, O’Gilt?!” Scrooge said suddenly, poking a finger into her chest. “You arenae a part of this family! Ye cannae just appear out of nowhere and tell me how to take care of my own kin!”

She whapped his hand away from her and scowled. “Don’t talk to me like that again.”

“Bah!” He rolled his eyes and turned away. “Donald, Della? C’mon! We’re almost to the treasure!”

The twins cheered, clearly having not paid attention to the uncomfortable conversation their uncle just had. Della charged forward, ready to throw herself headfirst into danger, but Donald stayed back a bit and walked next to Goldie.

She was glaring at the back of Scrooge’s head, and Donald glanced up at her shyly. He could feel a lot of tension in the air. He started to get the feeling that this adventure wasn’t going to end the way they all wanted it to.

—

“Goldie!” Scrooge screamed out, hurt and anger and frustration etched all over his face. “Where did she-?!”

“I think she’s gone, Uncle Scrooge,” Della said curiously, looking all around them. “And…so’s the treasure.”

Scrooge sighed deeply, closed his eyes, and moved to the side of the plane so he could sit down on the bench. He didn’t want to have to explain any of what happened to the kids, especially not when it made him sound like such a sucker.

Della watched her uncle and turned to lock eyes with Donald, who’d just stepped up next to her. “I don’t get it,” she said quietly. “She just left with the treasure?”

Donald stared at Scrooge, tilting his head to the side curiously. “Yeah. I guess.”

“So then…she’s a villain! Isn’t she?”

“But she’s still Uncle Scrooge’s girlfriend, right?”

Della shook her head in confusion. “I don’t get it! Is this what Duckworth meant when he said it’s complicated?!” Her whispering got a little loud and she shrunk down when Donald lifted a finger to his beak and shushed her. “I guess we’re not getting a new aunt.”

“Maybe it’s like…” Donald closed his eyes and tried to remember a name. “In Darkwing Duck! He’s dating that witch lady. She’s not evil, right? Just misunderstood.”

“I don’t think Goldie’s like Morgana, Donnie,” Della corrected. “Goldie’s playing with Uncle Scrooge’s heart! It’s mean!”

“I…I don’t know about that.” Donald stuck his hands into his jacket pockets. “Maybe she just didn’t like us.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“I don’t know, Dumbella! I’m just thinking out loud, okay?!”

“Alright, alright, sure!” Della shrugged. “I’m just saying…Uncle Scrooge looks totally depressed. So Goldie’s a bad guy. That’s how it goes.”

Donald shook his head. “It’s not like I think she’s a good guy, I just…some people are in the middle, y’know?”

“I guess.”

“We should try to find out more about her when we get home.”

“Ooh, yes!” Della squeezed her hands tight in excitement. “Maybe in some old photo albums or something!”

“If they’ve been dating for like three hundred years, there’s gotta be something.”

They laughed together, not paying attention to their uncle to see if he was listening in. Della suddenly stopped laughing after a second, and then held up a finger to make Donald listen to her.

“What?”

“I thought you said you didn’t like Darkwing Duck!”

“Wh-! Well, I…I don’t! It’s dumb!”

“But you remembered Morgana? She’s barely in any episodes!”

“I just thought she was cool! Shut up!”

“Hahahaaa, you’re so in denial!”

Della started chasing Donald around, talking about Darkwing Duck and the different villains from the show. Scrooge, meanwhile, wasn’t paying any attention to them. Instead, he was staring out one of the plane windows and feeling sorry for himself. Being humiliated and heartbroken by Goldie was such a normal, regular occurrence…but happening in front of his family made the sting hurt worse than usual.

He wanted her to be a part of his family, but more than that…he wanted her to want to be a part of his family. But he knew that was asking too much. She was always going to be Goldie O’Gilt, after all.

---

---

REAL HISTORY FACTS: - The Lost Tomb of Antony and Cleopatra is in Alexandria, Egypt. We think. I mean, it's lost, so... - It's 1995 which means I have been born in the duck universe now. Lil baby Carro. This is a real history fact obviously what are you talking about

DUCK FRANCHISE REFERENCES: - Hortense and Quackmore find themselves going on vacations a lot because they're very angry people who get easily stressed out. So they leave Donald and Della with Scrooge. This is my justification to them being alive but Donald and Della have personalized rooms in Scrooge's house lol

[sprinklesandshatters]

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐��_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

[athenasbloodyspear]

Don’t Make Me Beg Now Baby

CHAPTER ONE: EDGE OF DARKNESS

Hello fellow Greta Van Freaks. This is my very first Greta fic! I hope you enjoy.

MASTERLIST

Note: This fic contains mature themes, discussions of past non-con (no members of GVF involved) and drug use. Minors DNI. 18+ only and please take care of yourselves. (See Ao3 for full tag list)

You can also read this fic on Ao3 if you prefer!

Jake Kiszka x Original Female Character

Picture this: The boys are in Northern Michigan to write the new album and they meet a wild young woman who works at a local record store who has a rough history with rock bands.

She doesn’t want to fall into the same traps she fell into before. He doesn’t want to hurt her.

The rest of them just want them to figure their shit out.

Note: While this fic is based on the members of Greta Van Fleet, I obviously do not know them personally (lol) and nearly 99% of this is a fever dream I decided to write down. Some tid bits are based on things said in interviews/photos/songs but please do not come for my neck if you dislike my portrayals as this is a STORY that I have entirely made up.

This will be a slow burn, overly dramatic, cliché fest of me missing my Mitten State and wishing more than anything I could move back home. Their music makes me homesick and for that I’ll never forgive them. ;)

Chapter Under the Cut

CHAPTER ONE: EDGE OF DARKNESS

The tiny bell on the door to “The Edge” clanked as Jake pushed his way in, followed by Josh, Sam and Danny. The afternoon sun streamed through the slats in the windows at a harsh angle, illuminating the swirling dust. The boys all immediately took a deep breath. They all loved the smell of this place. A mix of dusty old vinyl's, incense and weed. 

The Edge was the shop owned by an old friend, Levi, who had been a longtime family friend of the Kiszka’s. The boys had made the near three hour drive to the shop whenever they had a spare weekend in their younger years. They bought Levi out of his guitar strings and drumsticks and always looked through the boxes of vinyl's hoping to find treasures. Levi sold an eclectic mix of music equipment, records, books, home goods and comically horrific coffee. 

The Edge is where they had each bought their very first instruments, had their first beers and even smoked their first joint. It was a special place for them. 

The old wood floors creaked with every step, the wood walls were covered with old articles from Rolling Stone, photos Levi had taken and autographs from the artists who had cycled through the place over the years. There were stacks upon stacks of vinyl's. Shelves of old autobiographies and music theory books. There were speakers stacked from floor to ceiling, and the whole right side of the store was jam packed with basses and guitars. The back corner had a few keyboards and a drum set, but plenty of catalogues to pick even more instruments from. There were cases of drumsticks and guitar picks and strings. The middle of the store had tables full of incense, candles and interesting home goods. There were tables where local artists sold jewelry, art pieces and furniture. It was full to the brim, most shelves rising way up to the ceiling. Most needed a ladder to reach the top. The basement had a sound studio with even more equipment set up to be used to record, or to test out. 

Levi had inherited the place from his father, who had built up quite a legendary roster of friends over his years. The shop was just off Front Street on the main drag of Traverse City. Levi’s father had made a name for himself as a great host to bands looking to escape to northern Michigan to hole up in cabins and write albums. Levi continued the tradition and took it a step further by buying the space next door and turning it into a club with live music on the weekends. 

If you were lucky, you could catch some super huge bands playing for only about 100 people in the dark side room of The Edge. 

“You bastards finally made it!” Levi called out as he came sauntering out of the back room. Levi looked the exact same as the last time the boys had seen him. Tanned skin from his days paddle boarding and hiking along the Lake Michigan shore, sandy blonde hair that was brighter in the summer, perpetual 5-o-clock shadow because he just couldn’t be bothered to shave, shell necklace around his neck, light wash jeans low on his hips with the same old cowboy boots he’d been wearing since the boys were 12. 

“Is that grey hair I see Levi?” Josh leaned forward with an exaggerated squint. Levi laughed, snagging Josh’s head to give him a noogie. 

“I may be older than you punks by a few years, but I’m not greying yet.” Levi released Josh from his headlock and gave him a shove. 

“I’d say 37 is more than a few years older than us, grandpa.” Sam snarked. 

“You’re makin me regret extending my hospitality, kid.” 

Jake felt himself relax fully for the first time in a really long time. It was just like old times. Exactly what the boys needed. 

“Welcome back dudes. I’m surprised I’m still cool enough for you Rockstar types.” Levi crossed his legs and leaned back against the front counter. 

“We’ll never be too cool for The Edge. This place will always be way cooler than we could ever be.” Danny piped up, walking forward to wrap Levi in a hug. 

“It’s been too long man.” Levi commented as he smacked Danny on the back. 

“We know.” Sam said “Way too fuckin long.” He hugged Levi next. Josh and Jake followed up with hugs next. The room was heavy with a tinge of melancholy. Old friends who had missed each other finally reunited. 

“Well, have you guys been to the house yet?” Levi stepped around the counter and started pouring four cups of the famous nasty coffee. 

“Yeah we dropped our bags off before we headed into town.” Danny spoke up. 

“Isn’t it sweet?” Levi asked enthusiastically. 

“It’s wicked man. Thanks so much for getting that set up for us.” Josh grinned as he snagged a cup off the counter. 

The house was a mid century modern cabin right on the east bay shore. It came equipped with a huge garage studio, front deck and a dock out into the bay. Levi had bought the house in foreclosure and along with help from a bunch of locals (in exchange for beer of course) they turned the house into a perfect getaway for any artists looking to come take a break up north. The place had five bedrooms and three bathrooms with a giant living room with overstuffed couches and velvet chairs. The walls were covered in art and the shelves were full to bursting with plants. It was a kaleidoscope of colors and textures,  with mix matched rugs and lamps. It was Levi’s pride and joy. 

“I’m so glad you guys like it.” Levi smiled even bigger as he passed coffees to the rest of the boys. “Once you’re a little more settled, feel free to send me a list of equipment you want me to set up downstairs and you can start coming in whenever to work. But also, I think you should probably take a week or two off first. You all look about two seconds away from collapsing.” 

“Yeah we’re pretty fuckin beat dude. But we’ll send you a list ASAP.” Jake said, taking a burning sip of the coffee. It singed his nerve endings and he couldn’t have been happier about it. 

Levi opened his mouth to speak again, when a voice filtered through the window to the loft above the store. 

“Yo Levi!” the person shouted “Can you please get off your fuckin ass and pick music to play? I know Wednesdays are your day to pick but if you take forever I’m just gonna put on whatever I want and you can suck it.”

All four boys' heads snapped up to the window to the loft, but whoever was up there couldn’t be seen. All they could see was that the loft had clearly gotten a makeover. What used to be an upper level where Levi stored surplus supplies now looked like it had a plush velvet couch, lava lamps and plants in it. 

“Alright alright! I’ll get on it.” Levi called back up, shaking his head and chuckling to himself as he walked toward the central sound system behind the counter to scroll through Spotify playlists. 

“Who the fuck is that and what have you done to the loft?” Josh asked, hopping up to sit on the counter. 

“That would be the very best thing that’s ever fallen into my lap. A.k.a my new store and venue manager Maven. She moved back to the area after living in Hollywood for a few years managing bands and she completely changed my life. We finally have consistent stock, a longstanding line up at the club and I have had the time to start photography again. Truly a godsend, if not occasionally a pain in my ass. She turned the loft into a breakroom of sorts.  There’s a couch and table up there now. She practically lives up there sometimes.” 

“Damn she must be some woman if she finally got you to get your shit together with that club.” Sammy piped up. 

“She’s hellfire, I’ll tell yah that.” Levi chuckled, finally hitting play on a playlist. The first bars of Surfin USA by the Beach Boys came on the surround system and matching groans came out of Jake downstairs and Maven upstairs. 

“Not this shit again!” Maven yells. Jake chuckled to himself. Hellfire indeed. 

“It’s my day to pick so suck it!” Levi called back before faux stage whispering to the boys “I mostly just play this to piss her off.”

Levi clapped his hands together once “Well boys, It’s close enough to five o'clock and I owe you a beer. Let’s head over to Little Fleet for some grub and beers and we can catch up.” 

Josh grimaced as he sucked down the last bit of his coffee before lobbing the empty cup into the trash at the end of the counter. “You still make shit coffee Levi.” 

“It’s the one thing I wouldn’t let Maven fix.” Levi said with a grin as all five men exited out the back door. 

                                                           ~0~

The boys took a week to relax, as per Levi’s request. They spent the days hiking the shore, kayaking and drinking beer around the fire. It had been way too long since they’d done this. The release of The Battle at Garden’s Gate had been exhilarating and the fans' response had been everything they’d hoped for. People seemed to love the album and they were all so proud. But with press interviews and touring, they hadn’t gotten more than a day or two to relax at a time. And they certainly hadn’t gotten a chance to get back to their favorite old haunts in years. 

They stopped by the store almost every morning for a cup of coffee strong enough to jumpstart their hearts. Sometimes Levi joined them on their escapades, and sometimes he stayed behind to help out at the store. The boys spent a few afternoons sifting through albums and strumming on some of Levi’s vintage guitars. 

Mostly they caught up on each other's lives. The boys recounted their more personal lives that happened outside the coverage of the album and Levi talked about the past few years of his life in Traverse City. Levi told them all about Maven and how she was practically his little sister. They laughed. They drank. They had a blast. 

The boys noticed Levi was a little on edge occasionally, typically when they heard someone shuffling upstairs or equipment moving around in the backroom of the shop. They assumed it was Maven but weren’t sure, since they had yet to see her in the flesh. A week from their arrival they were all sitting in lawn chairs in the alley behind the store, smoking cigs and drinking their coffee when Sam finally asked. 

“So, why haven’t we met your precious Maven yet? Hiding her from us or something?” 

Levi shifted a bit in his chair. “Um..” he coughed out a laugh. “I am actually. Yes. But it’s the other way around, I’m hiding you from her.” 

“Afraid she’ll fan-girl or something?” Josh commented as he ashed his cigarette.  

“In… a sense.” Levi coughed. “But in quite the opposite way you’re imagining.” 

“She’s a fan then?” Sammy piped up.

“She loves your music. A lot.” Levi sniffed and coughed again. “It’s a real safe haven for her. When she’s having a bad day I catch her upstairs laying on the floor smoking a J with sound cancelling headphones blasting your albums as loud as she can.” 

“Exactly how it’s meant to be enjoyed. With a joint in hand.” Jake chimes in.  

“Yeah..” Levi toes the asphalt a bit with his boots, but doesn’t continue.

“Soooo” Sammy drawls “Why can’t we meet her? We’re no stranger to super fans. I’m sure she’s cool.” 

“Um, well. It’s a bit complicated.” Levi heaves a sigh before flicking his cigarette butt into the coffee canister at the center of their little circle. “I suppose I can trust you guys. You’re friends. Do you remember the huge lawsuit that the band Undercover Heart went through last year? The one about the um” He coughs again, “Rape of one of their staff members by the lead singer Ryan?” 

“Yes. That shit was horrific man.” Danny spoke up. “I read all the details I could. They kept the poor girl's identity private but goddamn I felt so bad for her. She was a badass for filing that suit though.” 

“Yeah. She was.” Levi breathed. “So, this is strictly off record and if you repeat this to anyone I will skin you all alive, famous rock stars be damned.” 

“Jesus Levi.” Jake said. 

“It was her.” Levi choked out. “Maven. That’s why she ran back from Hollywood and ended up here. That dude messed her up and she just… she struggles with meeting famous bands now. You know how many people cycle through this joint writing stuff. She just… has a really fuckin hard time with it sometimes. Particularly bands she likes. I think it’s because once you meet someone, and in her case, discover how much of a monster they can be, their music isn’t… safe anymore.” 

“Fuck.” Jake said, flicking his cigarette into the canister. 

“Well I feel terrible for joking about her being a fangirl.” Josh mutters. 

“She just genuinely loves you guys a lot. I never really told her I was an old friend because I didn’t want her to be worried about y’all stopping by. I just know that if she knows you’re here she’ll take off and avoid coming by the shop as much as she can and not only do I need her here, but I think she needs the safety of the shop too. I didn’t want to wreck it.” Levi sighs again. “I know she’ll find out you’re here eventually, it’s inevitable. I just was a coward and didn’t want to break the news to her.” 

“She was a pretty well known band manager wasn’t she?” Danny asks. “She like… completely made Undercover Heart what it was. Before they hired her they were slated to be a one hit wonder but she hauled them into relevancy basically by her will alone.” 

“Yeah. She basically built that man's career for him. She gave him everything, and he took everything from her. If I ever see the man I’m liable to get my ass thrown in prison.” Levi mutters.

“I’ll help.” Danny says immediately. 

All five sit in silence for a few minutes, smoking the last of their cigarettes. When they’d all finished, they stood and stretched to head back inside the shop. 

“So yeah. Anyway, If you see her that’s fine, just… well now you have context for… her.” Levi says as he yanks open the door. 

A few steps into the back hallway, Levi suddenly halts, causing all four boys to nearly bash into each other. The front door to the shop had crashed open and there were footsteps stomping across the store toward the front desk. 

“Listen Levi,” Maven’s tense voice carried down the back hall. “I know Wednesdays are usually your day for music but I’m having an absolute shit fucking day so I’m playing Greta all day and there’s absolutely nothing you can fucking do about it, kapeesh?” 

The very opening chords of Edge of Darkness scratch through the speakers after she finishes her sentence and the boys all exchange a slightly amused look, grins spread on all of their faces. 

“Kapeesh.” Levi calls out to her. He spins and silently nods to the boys to head toward the back door. The boys attempt to be as quiet as they can as they creep toward the door. 

“Also, Levi?” Maven calls again. Everyone halts in their tracks. “You said there was a band coming in soon. Are they here yet? Do you need me to set up the backroom?” 

“Uh, yeah they’re here.” Levi squeaks. All five men share nervous looks. “They’re uh… up at the house.” He cringes at his lie. “I’m getting an equipment list from them today and then you can get started. 

“Cool cool.” Maven calls back. “Do you think I’ll like their stuff?” 

“Uh. Yeah.” Levi grins then. “I think you will.” 

“Wicked.” Maven calls back. 

All five men repress giggles as they skedaddle out the back door and into the alley. 

                                                        ~0~

The next morning the boys wake up to a group text from Levi. 

COME BY THE SHOP ASAP. COME IN BACK DOOR. HEAD DOWN THE STAIRS TO THE BOOTH. BE AS QUIET AS YOU CAN. 

A weird request, but they did as they were told. They all piled into the SUV they had rented and headed to the shop. Danny peeled open the back door as quietly as he could, and Sammy opened the door to the stairs. They tiptoed down and through the door at the end of the stairs that opened into the booth of a sound studio. Levi sat in front of all the mixing boards with a cup of coffee to his lips. He glanced over at them and softly said “coffees on the table.” 

“Why the weird text?” Jake asked. 

“Because of that.” Levi responded softly, pointing through the dark glass into the soundstage. 

The sound stage was littered with mismatched rugs, and a few milk crates that doubled as tables. There was a gorgeous seafoam green drum set toward the back wall and stands full of various guitars and basses. Along the left wall was a piano and a Mellotron set up exactly to the specifications Sam sent over. However, with all these beautiful instruments to look at that would normally catch their eye, it was the woman sitting on stool in the center, cradling a dark purple Fender guitar that made Jake stop in his tracks. 

Maven, Jake had to guess that’s who it was, was wearing checkered distressed pants, with a ripped up old band t-shirt cropped at her ribs, revealing a sliver of the rounded part of her stomach. Over top she was wearing an orange leopard print cardigan that ran down to her thighs. Around her neck was a series of long necklaces, and her wrists were adorned with interlacing leather bands. 

She was plucking out a melody with her eyes closed, rocking back and forth on the stool. Jake had seen countless numbers of people playing the guitar before. On the road, in the studio, studying old masters on YouTube. There was nothing overly special about the way she was sitting or playing, but he felt a little bit like he couldn’t breathe. 

“She never fuckin plays anymore man.” Levi whispered. “It felt like magic hearing music coming out of the basement this morning. I just felt like you should see it.” 

The melody she was playing was sad. Haunting is a better way to put it, and Jake couldn’t look away. Not even when Sammy placed a cup of burning hot coffee into his hands. She was moving her head along with her playing, the strands of her dark messy hair shaking back and forth. The group watched in silence as she played out the riff a few times, Levi cranked the volume of the mics in the space and they could hear her humming softly. 

“She has a strong presence.” Josh murmured. 

Maven suddenly stopped. Everyone froze as she heaved a sigh and stood from the stool to put the guitar back on it’s rack. 

“You in there Levi?” Maven said then. The boys still didn’t move a muscle. Jake’s head was spinning, having finally seen the face that went with the voice he’d heard in the loft for a week. She was beautiful. He couldn’t even really put his finger on why, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Even seeing her through the thick dark glass of the studio. 

Levi hit the button to the mic in the booth and responded “Yah.” He paused before adding. “Sounded good.” 

Maven snorted in a self-deprecating way and said “Thanks.” 

Levi hit the mic button again and said “You should play more.”

“Don’t push it Levi.” Maven snapped back. Levi released the button to his mic and let out a heavy sigh. “Can you check some levels on the lines for me? I think I have everything pretty good but I want to make sure before they get here today.” 

“Sure.” Levi replied. 

Maven pulled the amp cord out of the Fender she had been playing on and plugged it into another guitar, one more similar to the guitars that Jake regularly used while they wrote. 

“Are we looking for a punk or a rock-y sound?” Maven asked. 

“Um.” Levi hesitated. “Rock. Their sound is like…” He tossed a small smile over his shoulder at the boys. “Like Greta’s actually.” 

“Dope. I hope they’re not just copying the boys. They’ve got a mellotron in here and everything.” The boys smiled. She pounded out a few chords on the guitar. “Good?” 

Levi looked over at Jake for confirmation. Jake, who still had not taken his eyes off Maven, nodded. 

“Yeah, that should be good for raw sound. They can play with stuff too. They’re a pretty well educated bunch.” Levi called back.

“Thank god.” Maven snorted. “Not like that indie punk bunch you booked last month who needed me to do fucking all their sound mixing for them.” 

“Maven, I don’t think they kept asking you down here because they need help with their sound.” 

Maven just rolled her eyes at that.  

They repeated the process with each instrument, Levi silently asking for confirmation from the respective Greta member until they were sure the sound lines were all functioning properly. 

“Great work kid.” Levi called into the studio. 

“Ew don’t call me kid. I’m a 27 year old woman.” Maven called back. 

Levi chuckled. “You’re a kid to me.” 

“Whatever.” Maven muttered. “I’m gonna go take a walk along the beach. Smoke a little. Text me if they need me.” 

“Will do.” Levi called back. The boys all tensed, looking for places to hide, or to run up the stairs and back into the alley. Luckily, Maven took the back door out of the studio and up another hallway instead.

“Well boys, it’s all you.” Levi said. “Text if you need anything.” 

Sam piped up and said “Yeah actually, can you pick my brother’s jaw up off the floor?” 

“Jake see pretty lady play guitar and Jake brain break.” Josh teased. 

“You guys suck.” Jake grumbled. 

Levi cackled. “I thought you’d like her.”  

                                                        ~0~

Maven walked along the coast of the bay and absentmindedly smoked a joint. It was an overcast and drizzly day which meant there was no one around, which she preferred anyway. She was feeling on edge. The drizzle was very slowly building a small sheen of water on her arms and hair, but she didn’t mind. The cool water and gentle breeze combination was perfect. 

Maven sat her butt down in the sand and stared out at the waves. She normally wore headphones on her walks, her world was a near constant stream of music, but she had opted for silence today. 

Levi was being weird. He was edgy around her all week, sending her out every morning for tasks and disappearing without saying where he was going around 4:30 every day. She had come to the conclusion that whatever band was in town this week was a pretty big name. Or big enough that he was nervous about her being around them. She sighed. She hated when he tiptoed around her. Maven didn’t blame him. When she first started working at the shop she had had a couple pretty bad PTSD episodes that had scared the shit out of him. She owed him everything for staying with her, talking her down and making sure she was fed and had water when she got into one of her states. 

Levi was her best friend, to put it mildly. He cared for her, kept her safe and in return she busted her ass at his store making sure they had the best products, the best shows and that their artist getaway was something that people would go back and tell their friends about. She loved Levi like an older brother, and he cared for her like his little sister. She would forever be grateful to whatever power in the universe made her stumble into The Edge two years ago. 

She had been high out of her mind, as she had been most days after she came running back to Michigan with her tail between  her legs, and Levi had been struggling with an amp in the shop. She had walked in, spotted his struggle and didn’t even say a word to him, just walked over and fixed the wiring so that it was functional again. Levi had looked up from where he sat on the floor and said “You don’t happen to need a job do you?” 

The rest was essentially history. It only took two months of seeing him every single day, and him not letting her sour moods go by unnoticed, for her to spill her guts over some bourbon one night. About Ryan and Undercover Heart and how badly the whole situation fucked her up. How after she’d recorded her testimony she’d boarded the next flight to Grand Rapids and hightailed it up north. She came crash landing into Traverse City because she’d always loved it as a kid, and figured it would be a great place to start over. The small town she’d grown up in had too many people who knew her. 

He was extra careful with bands for a while. Never letting her be alone in a room with too many male band members, and carefully vetting everyone who came through. Eventually she told him off about treating her like a porcelain doll and he backed down a bit, giving her free reign over lots of the equipment set ups and giving her plenty of hours in the shop by herself. She was happy to do so, so Levi could focus on fixing up the artist house and starting his photography again. 

But he was still very gentle with her sometimes, and she’d always love him for it even when it pissed her the fuck off. 

Once she’d smoked the joint down to the roach, she tucked the end into her pocket. It was sacrilegious to litter near the lake. It was too precious to be fucked with. She meandered back toward the shop. Her plan was to grab her bag and head back to let her Pitbull, Stacy, out for a walk and pee. The girl had been cooped up all morning and Maven felt bad. 

She threw her whole body against the front door, as the latch often stuck, and the loud sound of the chimes clanged in the empty space. She rolled her eyes. Of course Levi left the shop unattended and unlocked. It was Traverse City, no one was gonna rob them, but what if someone wanted to buy something? 

She was humming softly to herself as she made her way around the edge of the counter and plopped down on the stool by the register. She whipped out her phone to ask Levi where he was. She had the message halfway typed when the door behind her, the one that led to the staff restroom, popped open. 

“You know, crime is especially low in this town but that doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t come in here and try to steal your precious coffee maker.” She tossed over her shoulder. 

“Oh.” Was all that came back. It was decidedly not Levi’s voice. Maven spun back quickly. 

“Sorry I…” But that’s as far as she got. She was suddenly face to face with Jake Kizska and all thoughts quickly left her brain. 

They both stared at each other for a long moment. Maven couldn’t quite figure out why he looked just as shocked to see her as she was to see him. He also almost looked afraid for some reason that Maven couldn’t figure out.

He was dressed in an outfit she’d seen him wear plenty of times. A black button up, half unbuttoned, loose fitting light wash jeans and a pair of well worn boots. His wrists were full of bracelets and his hair was longer than the last time she’d seen footage of their concerts, well past his collarbones at this point. 

“Hi.” Jake finally broke the silence. “I’m Jake.” He reached out his hand for a handshake. 

“I know.” Maven replied, and then coughed. Why did you say that you freak? 

Suddenly the front door bell chimed again, and Maven whipped her head to see Levi coming in the front door. She stood abruptly from her stool, skirted around Jake’s outstretched hand, and out from behind the counter. She scooped up her leather satchel on her way. 

She headed straight at Levi. He glanced over his shoulder and saw an apologetic Jake looking forlorn and lowering his hand back to his side. 

“Oh hey Maven-” 

“Hey dumbass, don’t leave the store unattended again. I’m going home to check on Stacy. Probably won’t be back for the rest of the day.” Maven spit as she stormed past him toward the front door. 

“Maven wait-” 

But she was already outside, the hinges bringing the heavy wood crashing back into the frame. The chime of the bells rang through the space. 

“Sorry.” Jake muttered. 

“Not your fault. I knew she’d find out eventually. Right now she’s probably just pissed I didn’t tell her. Which she has every right to be.” Levi sighed. 

After a few more beats of silence Jake spoke again. “Who’s Stacy?” 

Levi huffed a laugh. “That would be her Pitbull.” 

“Oh.” Jake said again. He felt crazy because his brain couldn’t come up with anything else to say. She was prettier up close. She smelled like the Lake and weed and sandalwood. He really wished she’d taken his hand. He shook his head trying to find his brain in it somewhere. 

The other three boys came clambering up the stairs and into the store. They all looked between Levi, who was still standing in the middle of the shop, and Jake behind the counter. 

“Are you two playing freeze tag or something?” Sam quipped. 

“Jake met Maven.” Levi responded. The boys' heads whipped toward Jake. 

“And… I’m guessing it… went well?” Danny questioned.

Levi finally walked back toward the counter. “She left for the day. This is on me. I should have told her y’all were here.” He snagged his keys from below the counter and walked toward the front door to lock up. “I’m closing early, boys. Let’s go get a beer.” 

“Kowabunga baby.” Josh said with a grin.  

                                                     ~0~

Maven sat curled up on her velvet couch, Stacy was her little spoon. There was incense burning, a bottle of wine open on the side table and a lit joint in the ashtray. She had changed into a giant t-shirt and boxer shorts. The soft sounds of John Denver playing off her record player. 

However, none of these things were easing her mind. 

She was pissed, mostly. At herself. At Levi. She was pissed he didn’t tell her they were coming. She was pissed that he felt he couldn’t tell her. She was pissed that she had acted like a freak in front of Jake. 

The anxiety was an endless pit in her stomach. She couldn’t go back there tomorrow. She couldn’t see any of those people. Not when she felt like this. 

She whipped out her phone and quickly shot a message to Levi, before chugging her whole glass of red wine and snagging the joint out of the ashtray. 

                                                        ~0~

Levi’s phone dinged on the table where all of the guys sat drinking beers and chatting. Levi glanced at it and quickly picked it up when he saw her name. 

“It’s Maven.” He said. 

“What did she say?” Jake asked, sitting up a bit in his chair. 

“Fuck.” Levi said, tossing his phone on the table, still unlocked. 

All four boys leaned in to read the screen. 

CASHING IN ALL MY VACATION DAYS. I’LL BE OUT FOR TWO WEEKS. 

“Fuck indeed.” Josh said, pounding back the rest of his beer.

[sexandthesuburbs]

I listen to the Modern Love podcast, and the new host was asking people what song taught them about love when they were 16. It was kind of a fun prompt, so I’m going to expand a bit and make a playlist with songs that made an impression on me about sex and love. No particular order.

Ok. I still think this song is great. This definitely was a sort of aspirational, what does it mean to be an object of desire. When you are 16 and haven’t had sex yet, what does it mean to be sexy? All I knew is that I wanted to be double cherry pie, who wouldn’t want that? Plus smelling of sex and candy and casting devious stares is sort of transgressive and cheeky, which makes it exciting.

Proving I have rather quotidian music tastes, Goo Goo Dolls was one of those bands I really liked on my own in high school, not because any of my friends or boyfriends with much cooler tastes in music liked them, but because I saw their music videos on MTV and thought they were good. Was I a 16 year old having an existential crisis if I related to “when everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am”? Maybe. Did I think the line, “I bleed just to know I’m alive” was a bit dramatic, even back then? Yes. Still, it is interesting that wanting to be truly known has been one of my deepest desires.

Let me make out for a thousand hours to Dave Matthews Band. The other albums probably got more play time, but this is what was new when I was 16. I was too innocent to do the tailgating that some of my peers did to DMB, but I did go see them in concert once. My boyfriend had mono develop while we were there, but did not leave early. Somehow I did not also get mono? A later boyfriend brought me a DMB tshirt back from a concert that I couldn’t go to, and if buying a wildly overpriced concert tshirt isn’t romance, I don’t know what is.

I remember dancing with a guy at a sweet 16 party to this song. Sometimes being goody-goody and sometimes being naughty-naughty is basically human nature, but at 16, this song captured something.

There were several songs from this era that really hit home the message that love and loss go hand in hand. The pure happily ever after love songs of that era didn’t speak to me.

Gotta end with the exceptions to what I posted just above. Especially “Kiss Me”, these definitely added to the idea that romance meant kissing, and a lot of it. Hard to think of anything better than that.

[thequibblah]

⭐️ would love some commentary on that dancing scene (or really any commentary on the various parties thrown by the marauders) from the party happening next to the Potions Club party ⭐️

WELL WELL WELL

"This is...a lot of trouble to go to." "It's the Marauders. They love trouble."

i love writing party scenes (as i'm sure you all know lol) and one of the best/worst things w the marauders parties is striking a balance between their, uh, audacious plans, and what's realistically possible at hogwarts without getting caught. (aka literally why i made up the dodgy lodgings). i went back and forth so long on whether or not they could plausibly have managed that with slughorn's dinner next door, but then was like ah whatever the party has to happen for plot reasons so.... plot ex machina??

anyway, i love using parties to establish character — what a brilliant stage of teenage performance they provide. i love contrasting the hogwarts parties to, say, evan wronecki's — for instance, how lily and co. are more at ease in the former, as seventh years, with their classmates hosting, than they were at evan's nye bash

i also love that it gives me space to establish who is and isn't popular, so to speak, but also who acts or doesn't act the way we presume popular kids will act

doe, for instance, who is by all accounts a level-headed and non-wild person, has a more exciting time on net at marauders' parties than mary (drinking game, kissing remus), though she's not a big drinker and isn't really into parties. but she's comfortable in her own little social circle at a bigger event (like with michael at evan's) and so isn't bothered at all by the marauders' do, because...

She did, in fact, trust the Marauders. Her general belief in the inherent goodness of people notwithstanding, she didn't think they would do anything to harm their friends. Intentionally.

this bit always makes me laugh

as with many things, i feel very saddened that i didn't get to make more out of the fools' olympics (although one could argue that The Dance was a pro) — as in, i wish i'd been able to squeeze more of it into the story itself. i could probably come up with a list of tasks and who completed them LOL

WAIT OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS it just might be my favourite part of this chapter

"How did you do that?" Gillian said, glancing between the other two girls. "Just — drink it without a second thought?" "Practice," said Mary. "Scottish — constitution," David said hoarsely. "I once drank some of Mrs. Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mass Remover," said Priya.

priya is all i aspire to be

can i say, too, it's hilarious to me how many people worried niamh would be a james love interest? i feel like you will not rest easy on that count until he and lily are together... but that is not where the danger lies babes

circling back to popularity/unpopularity, another fun outlier. gillian is first established, in 33, as someone with friends (we see her around sara and in the seventh-year ravenclaws' compartment) but she's not exactly at ease at the party either — recall how she hesitates when mary invites her. only later, in 38, do we realise that our opinion of her has been skewed by the narration (from doe, who naturally assumes any friendly, nice person must have a wealth of friends and be floating through life; and mary, who naturally assumes anyone she isn't bored by must have the social skills of a medieval noblewoman at court), and she's a bit of a pariah in her own house

david, on the other hand, is just flat-out not in his element. and not because of the drinking or the, er, general revelry (see: summer with mary!), even though he doesn't partake much in either. unlike doe, the company breaks rather than makes his enjoyment — he's acutely aware, the whole time, that his cooler, more liked brother is around:

"Not your scene?" "What gave it away?" said David drily. As one they looked at Chris...

...and mary has intuited as much too, even though she has a lot more in common, superficially speaking, with chris than david

so, i think while i was writing this chapter i made a post complaining about how, as much as i love juggling the constraints of historical fiction, i hate that music from the 70s limits me in terms of tracklists. i.e., when i say a certain record is playing i can't just hit shuffle and go somewhere entirely different to set the mood shortly thereafter

this problem was because i wanted, NAY, NEEDED, to have "martha my dear" playing in the aftermath of that mary and david interaction. of course, time passes in that section break, but since "come and get it," which they talk about it, is a sirius song (though it could be a mary song), and i feel too strongly about needle drops to let that conversation go without a soundtrack. germaine even correctly guesses the white album is on because of mary:

Apparently Mary got fonder of the White Album the drunker she was.

...and of course the song itself makes me squeal with how very mary it is — not that it is something she would listen to, necessarily, or identify with (it would hold up too close of a mirror, ha), but it sounds like it could've been written about her ("hold your head up, you silly girl/look what you've done/when you find yourself in the thick of it/help yourself to a bit of what is all around you," which really sums up the entirety of her portree holiday, lol)

BUT! if "martha my dear" is to play here, then i have some Serious Chronology Concerns. i knew germeline had to kiss and jily had to dance and ideally in that order. but what would those scenes be soundtracked by!!!! i was limited to side two of the white album!!!

so i did the healthy thing and panic-listened to the white album. "don't pass me by" was, right away, an easy lock for the dance, because it's danceable, but not in a way that would've scared lily off. lyrically, it feels GREAT for jily in this moment, on the cusp of lily's realisation ("waiting for your knock, dear [...] i don't hear it, does it mean you don't love me anymore?" vs OF COURSE "don't pass me by [...] 'cause you know darling, i love only you"). i feel about "don't pass me by" the same way as NYT critic nik cohn: it's "straight ahead and clumsy and greatly enjoyable, backed by a beautiful hurdy-gurdy organ," which, if that isn't everything i wanted to evoke with the dance itself!!!!!!

ok we'll circle back to this, but onward with the musical discussion

thus i had four songs to choose from, between "martha my dear" and "don't pass me by," for the germeline scene — "piggies," "blackbird," "i'm so tired," and "rocky raccoon." the latter is on my sirius playlist, so auto-no; "piggies" is, well, like that, so also a no. "blackbird" is a certified germaine classic that was written personally by paul mccartney for germaine, but it seemed too introspective for the moment. i don't think i'd ever listened to "i'm so tired" before this panicked searching, and honestly it must be some wild luck that it is. just SO RIGHT!!!! it's so lethargic and tortured and angsty and, well, a bit of a stoner song, so.... it's THERE

AND NOW for the dance! true story, i initially wanted jily to have a real conversation, after the party. i had the dance in there and then james would catch up with lily after to be like, "hey i was wrong actually, you should write to petunia." but then i realised i wanted james and sirius to have a conversation about the bike/money, and i wanted it to strike a different chord, tonally, than the jily conversation. then i realised it would be too much to have both and i'd need to condense that conversation into the dance. VERY nearly cut the dance in favour of the conversation but wow i am glad i didn't

The tinkling piano signalled the start of the next song; she extended a hand, very matter-of-factly, to James, "Come on, this is a good one."

not pictured: james having a fucking breakdown

obviously, i could have gone the route of a genuine dramatic dance, but as previously mentioned lily would have chickened out, and i wanted to have this be an experience she could look back on and pine about because of how fun it was and james totally doesn't like her back

Loath as she was to admit it, this most indelicate of waltzes suited the plodding chords of "Don't Pass Me By." And worst of all, once they had stopped stepping on each other's feet James started to sing, in the poorest possible Ringo imitation she had ever heard in her life.

by the way, attentive readers of blink three times will recall:

He finally starts to lead — thank goodness, because she’s not the one who was forced into formal dance lessons as a child...

so in 36, this is james being drunk, but it is also james being silly on purpose because not only is he JAMES and so he must take the mick, he also knows it will put lily at ease

okay, and this bit:

"Don't pass me by, don't make me cry, don't make me blue," they both shouted rather than sang, "'Cause you know darling—" Lily broke off, laughing, dimly aware that she had done so to avoid saying I love only you while staring right at him.

from the FIRST MOMENT i picked out "don't pass me by," i knew i knew I KNEW that lily would have thoughts about this line. at this point in the story if someone questioned her about it she would probably have a full-scale breakdown about her male friends vs her female friends ("but no... i suppose i wouldn't mind saying it to remus.... but that's different!" how is it different, lily? "it's different!")

anyway, the bottom line is she could NOT abide saying it. i enjoyed writing that because 1. same girl and 2. it felt like a nice bit of close foreshadowing for her realisation, which i knew was coming soon. so that's a really circular way of saying, i knew what it meant but ideally to readers it was just oh this will mean something far-off in the future!!! which is usually true for me but SURPRISE babey it was just two chapters away!!!

note btw that lily "falls for james"

Lily spun faster than she’d intended to. The room was a brief, kaleidoscope blur. Then there was James. “Jesus, Evans,” he said, steadying her as the next track began.

>:)

and after i thought tracklists would fuck me up, i turned them into my WEAPON!!

Huffing, she stepped out of his arms. (There were some songs you could sing along to with your mates, and “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” was not one of them.)

(so, you know, keep in mind that for the rest of this conversation, paul is in the background howling "no one will be watching us/why don't we do it in the road?")

also:

"...I’m not drinking tonight, but I’d better get the royal treatment after we win on Saturday."

and then what happened <3

wait jesus oh my god i really went hard on this huh

She only saw its result: the easy grin had given way to an expression so serious it was almost sweet.

LILY??????

and hey, remember when:

...because in chapter 26:

Dex’s measured opinions about the wizarding world seemed more the result of upbringing and inexperience than ill will, but Lily had not expected a radical change of heart.

...but then in 36:

He was right, damn it. And a part of her had known all along, had sought him out expressly so that he would say the opposite thing to her. He’d gone and proven her wrong. She broke the staring match first [...] “What brought on the change of heart?” “It’s a long story, and I expect it’ll have an unsatisfying end if I told it to you.” Lily scoffed, but James had on that maddening grin that meant he would not budge. “Oh, all right.” Softer, she added, “Thank you.” He began to back away, towards the bar. “It’s give and take, Evans.”

in conclusion, i never forget, besties

[hlupdate]

So what does a young superstar spend his time thinking about? Classic rock, mostly, along with the occasional movie or TV show. Harry Styles has always been a voracious scholar of pop history — the kind of guy who obsesses over John and Yoko album covers and Fleetwood Mac deep cuts. “We’re all just fans,” he says. “I’m just a music fan who happens to make some.” These are just a few of Harry’s favorite things — some influences, some inspirations, some heroes.

Listen along to our Harry Styles playlist here.

Van Morrison The Irish blues bard was down and out in Boston when he wrote his brooding 1968 song cycle Astral Weeks. “It’s my favorite album ever,” Harry says. “Completely perfect.” Harry recently posed with his idol for a backstage photo — inspiring Van to smile, which doesn’t happen too often. The grin is so out of character for Van, Harry jokes, “I was tickling him behind his back.” (He’s kidding, obviously.) On his first tour, before going onstage, he played “Madame George” over the speakers — the epic ballad of a Belfast drag queen. “‘Madame George’ is one of my favorites — nine minutes. I’ve got some long songs but not my nine-minute one — it hasn’t quite come through yet.”

Joni Mitchell Harry got so obsessed with her 1971 classic Blue, he went on a quest. “I was in a big Joni hole,” he says. “I kept hearing the dulcimer all over Blue. So I tracked down the lady who built Joni’s dulcimers in the Sixties. She still lives around here.” He not only found her, she invited him over. “I went to her house and she gave me a little lesson — we sat around and played dulcimers.” She built the dulcimer Harry plays on his new album. “Blue and Astral Weeks, that’s just the ultimate in terms of songwriting. Melody-wise, they’re in their own lane. Joni and Van, their freedom with melodies — it’s never quite what you thought was coming, yet it’s always so great.”

Etta James The hard-living R&B legend could do it all, from raw Chess blues to pop-soul torch ballads. Harry is a devotee of her 1960 debut album At Last! “This whole album is perfect. On that record you have ‘I Just Want to Make Love to You’ going right into ‘At Last,’ which has to be one of the greatest one-twos ever. Her ad libs are so intense. It’s like, ‘Come on, Etta — tell us how you really feel.’”

Wings Paul McCartney’s 1970s band left behind a slew of shaggy art-pop oddities. Harry swears by London Town and Back to the Egg. “While I was in Tokyo I used to go to a vinyl bar, but the bartender didn’t have Wings records. So I brought him Back to the Egg. ‘Arrow Through Me,’ that was the song I had to hear every day when I was in Japan.” The 1971 suite Ram was divisive for Beatles fans at the time, but for Harry it was a psychedelic experience: while making the album, he and his band enjoyed it while lying out in the sunshine on mushrooms. “I love Ram so much — I used to think it was a mixed bag, but that’s part of its beauty. And the one that’s just called McCartney, with the cherries on the cover and ‘The Lovely Linda’ on it.”

John & Yoko: Above Us Only Sky Documentary A deep dive into the world of John Lennon and Yoko Ono, during the making of Imagine. “I watched Above Us Only Sky on Netflix,” Harry says. “Seeing him play ‘Imagine’ on piano made me want to take piano lessons.” One of his favorite Lennon songs: “Jealous Guy,” especially the Donnie Hathaway cover. “Have you ever heard the original version of ‘Jealous Guy’? It was called ‘Child of Nature.’ Every time I play ‘Jealous Guy,’ I can’t help singing ‘Child of Nature.’ I really like Mind Games too. My favorite-ever album cover is the John and Yoko Live Peace in Toronto. So beautiful: it’s blue sky with one cloud, and that’s it.”

Carole King For a playback of his new music, Harry arranges to listen at Henson Studios in Hollywood, which used to be the old A&M Studios, in Studio B. Why? “It’s the room where Carole King recorded Tapestry.” Obsessive pop scholar that he is, Harry reveres King as both a singer and songwriter. His favorite: “So Far Away.” “How do people make shit like this?”

Crosby, Stills and Nash These three hippie balladeers summed up the mellow West Coast soft-rock vibe, despite their chemical wreckage. (For the full story, see the great new band bio by Rolling Stone’s David Browne.) “Those harmonies, man,” Harry says. “‘Helplessly Hoping’ is the song I would play if I had three minutes to live. It’s one of my ‘one more time before I go’–type songs.”

The Other Two TV Series He’s a big fan of the Comedy Central series. “It’s a brother and a sister — they’re the Two — and their younger brother becomes a viral YouTube sensation. He’s a Justin Bieber–type thing. He’s 13, and it’s basically those two dealing with that. It’s really funny.” (He’s got a thing for absurdist pop scenes like this — he also recommends the documentary When the Screaming Stops, about a bizarre reunion gig from the Eighties twin-brother duo Bros.)

Paul Simon “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,’ that’s the greatest verse melody ever written, in my opinion,” Harry says. “So minimal, but so good — that drum roll. ‘The Boxer’ is a perfect lyric, especially that first verse.” Paul Simon was one of his childhood soundtracks, with or without Art Garfunkel. “I grew up in a pub for a few years when I was a kid and Simon and Garfunkel were just constantly playing, always. Every time ‘Cecilia’ started, I’d be like, ‘I think I’ve heard this a hundred times today.’”

Hall and Oates “For my 21st birthday, I had a big party, and I convinced myself I really wanted Hall and Oates to play. I knew it wasn’t going to happen — I just had to ask. But just a few months before, they went into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, so whatever it was, it was now three times as much as it used to be. Their rate just tripled — ah, fuck.”

Peter Gabriel, “Sledgehammer” Video “The greatest music video ever. I also love that Eighties synth pan-whistle sound — it basically just exists in this song and ‘My Heart Will Go On.’”

Elvis Presley “The first music I ever heard was Elvis Presley. When I was little, we got a karaoke machine and I sang Elvis, because that’s what my grandparents listened to. I made my grandfather a tape of me doing Elvis songs on one side and all Eminem on the other side. Unfortunately, I accidentally played him the wrong side.”

Harry Nilsson The legendary L.A. eccentric could croon middle-of-the-road hit ballads like “Without You,” but also a crazed weirdo who caroused with John Lennon and pursued his own lunatic pop fantasies. In other words, Harry Styles’ type of guy. “I think of all the great songwriters I love — but they all had their pop songs. Joni Mitchell with ‘Help Me,’ Paul Simon with ‘You Can Call Me Al,’ Harry Nilsson with ‘Coconut.’ You have to conquer the fear of pop.”

Stevie Nicks The Gold Dust Woman and her “little muse” are everybody’s favorite rock friendship. At the Hall of Fame ceremony in March, the sight of Harry dropping to one knee as he hands the award to a radiant Stevie — one of the iconic cross-generational images of our time. They first sang together in L.A. two years ago, when she made a surprise guest appearance at one of his first solo shows. “One of my favorite-ever musical memories. We sang ‘Landslide’ as a soundcheck, and that was even cooler for me than the show — just me and her, in an empty Troubadour.”

They just sang “Landslide” at a Gucci event in Rome, with Harry hitting impossible high notes on the final “snooooow-covered hills.” “We practiced in the dressing room,” he says. He’s got the rehearsal footage on his phone — when he hits that note, guitarist Waddy Wachtel is too stunned to keep playing. “That’s my favorite bit,” Harry says. “Practicing the song together. Just the two of us.”

[eds-trashmouth]

PolyJAMorous

A/N: hi I hate this! But it’s here and it’s not what I intended but I hope you like it regardless. I’ve also decided that people probably don’t care about word count and all that so I’m not going to put it on anymore (unless you guys want me to) Thank you for the support and the next one will be better. I promise ❤️

-

A road trip was certainly not how the losers thought they would be spending their summer break before they all packed up and headed off to college. Yet, Richie had the bright idea to make the trip from Derry, Maine to Colorado. He’d come up with the idea a week or so into the start of their senior year. Luckily they’d had all school year to plan and save up money.

Richie got a job at the Aladdin, the local theater, taking tickets and cleaning up after the shows. He ended up making decent money and buying a used suv by the middle of the year. He had to cut out smokes but Eddie says it’s better that way. He’d do anything for Eddie so giving up cigarettes was nothing, although on his very stressful days Bev was nice enough to share a cig or two with him.

Eddie on the other hand, wasn’t allowed to get a job. Mrs. K turned down that idea almost immediately, yelling about how any job he would get as a teenager would be flipping burgers and she couldn’t have her precious Eddiebear flipping burgers in a “disgusting” fast food place. So, he decided he would tutor some underclassmen after school. He had put up flyers around campus to try to get some tutoring jobs but ultimately he didn’t get that many. He even tried to back out of the trip because he felt bad for having less than everyone else. Richie was the first to shut that idea down. “You’re going Spaghetti. Even if I have to pay for you myself. It’s a losers trip. Gotta have all seven of us!”

It took Beverly until the middle of the school year to finally find a job. Through no fault of her own, it seems that when the whole town thinks you’re dirty as a child, you don’t find many people who forget that kind of thing. She eventually landed a job with Richie at the theater. She suspected the Trashmouth himself had something to do with that, but she knew he’d never tell.

Now, Mike and Stan had a pretty easy time finding work. They’d been together since Sophomore year and Stan loved helping out on the farm, so Mike asked his grandfather if they could get paid for some of the farm work. It took a little convincing but by the third week of school, Mike and Stan were already getting their first week of pay. Stan definitely enjoyed rubbing it in Richie’s face that he got to see his boyfriend and get paid to do so. Maybe Richie took a quick glance at Eddie when he did so. Maybe he didn’t.

Bill also had a pretty easy time finding work. There was a new YMCA opening up in Derry and Bill already had experience lifeguarding for the past two summers so he applied to work at their pool. Obviously he got it, and he even snuck the losers in a few times for a late night swim.

Ben had been working at the library since sophomore year so he didn’t have to do much worrying. He had the money saved up by December, and a little extra for Eddie just incase. Although, Richie already called dibs on paying for Eddie. Even if Eddie didn’t know it yet.

Today was finally the day. They’d made it through the school year and even stayed for graduation. The losers had all met up at Richie’s to help get ready for the trip. The sun was blazing down upon them as they packed everything into the van. Each loser had a duffle bag and they’d brought a cooler filled with lunchables, sodas, and flavored waters requested by Stan and Eddie. It didn’t take too long to load everything and hit the road.

Richie insisted on taking the first shift driving. The trip was a whole days worth of travel, inevitably they would need to stop for gas, food, and possibly even a hotel but Richie was determined to drive as much as he could before stopping. This trip was his baby, he’d been planning it all year. They hadn’t really set a destination yet, other than Colorado, the whole idea was to just decide to stop somewhere pretty. Of the losers, Richie, Ben, Bill, and Mike were the only ones with a license, they’d done the math and needed to switch every 7 hours or so.

“What are these idiots thinking?!” From the passenger seat, Eddie rolled his eyes. The roads were bustling by mid day, and the cars were just flying by. “Don’t they know the speed limit is only 70? They’re going to cause an accident.”

“Eds, I’m only going 65. They’re probably going like 75 or 80.”

“Well regardless, that’s still over the speed limit Richie! It’s dangerous!” Eddie was talking with his hands, overly exaggerating everything, giving it the emphasis he always seemed to. Richie couldn’t help but glance at the boy beside him. He smiled fondly as Eddie noticed his attention. “Eyes on the road Chee!”

“Would you two lovebirds q-quit bickering? I’m t-trying to nap before it’s my turn to drive.” Richie peeked into his rear view mirror to see Bill with his eyes still closed and his head on Ben’s shoulder in the very back seat. Ben didn’t seem to mind the intrusion, his attention was fully on the game Beverly was playing next to him. Stan and Mike were seated in the middle of the vehicle, a bench seat to share, and wearing one earbud each watching Netflix. Richie would’ve gagged had he not fully intended on doing the same with Eddie once he was done driving.

“Let’s listen to some classic Richie tunes then Spaghetti! Everyone else is doing they’re own thing.” He could see Eddie roll his eyes once more in his peripheral vision before he leaned down to get the aux cord for Richie. He laid his hand out, waiting for Richie’s phone, which he gladly handed over. “Alright, I wanna listen to something good. Let me think.”

“I’m playing something while you decide then.” Eddie already went to work, plugging in the aux and setting up the radio. He opened the phone with his thumb and in seconds was on Richie’s Spotify. Richie couldn’t help but think how much of a routine this was. Just for them. None of the losers had their thumb print on his phone, everyone else had to ask how to work the radio or where his aux was, but not Eddie. His Eddie.

“No Jonas Brothers. That’s my only request.”

“You love them, don’t pretend to be hardcore.” Eddie was already scrolling down his playlist to search. Before long a familiar beat filled the air. A Jonas Brothers song.

“Don’t out me like that, and then play my favorite JB song. You can’t do me like that Eds.”

“Not my name, and this is your punishment for calling Spaghetti as well.” Don’t Throw It Away off their newest album blessed the speakers. Richie couldn’t stop himself and soon began screaming the lyrics at the top of his lungs. His fingers tapped happily to the beat, while he danced in his seat. As the chorus hit and Richie had given into the music, he glanced over to see Eddie recording him.

“I know I’m famous but no pictures please. I’m just trying to live my truth!” Richie’s hand came up to cover the camera while he let out a loud laugh. Eddie was too quick for him though and moved the phone right out of his reach, leaning into the side door.

“Hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. You wouldn’t want us to die before we even get to Colorado would you? And besides, I have to document the trip. This is the last trip that we all get to have together before we move on.”

“I’ll never move on from you Spaghetti.” With his eyes still on the road, Richie tried grabbing for Eddie’s cheek only to get smacked away from the boy himself.

“Ha ha. Very funny Trashmouth. You know what I mean. We all have our own livings waiting for us when we get back. I want to remember this. Remember us Chee.” Out of the corner of his eyes Richie could see the slight flush on the boys face. “The losers that is. All of us.”

“Eddie,” Beverly spoke up from the back. “You know we’ll still be best friends right? Us going to college doesn’t change that. We can still have movie nights and study dates. Sure, it’ll be different because it’ll be through a screen but we will still be together. Once a loser, always a loser.”

The car fell into a comfortable silence after that. Richie’s mind always wondering to Eddie. This trip was really important to him, and Richie didn’t even know it. Eddie hadn’t told him and he hadn’t noticed. What kind of best friend is he? He couldn’t even see how worried Eddie was about the future. The future of the losers club. Of course Richie knew they’d always be together in some way, but he shouldn’t have assumed Eddie was feeling the same.

“Hey Eds,” Richie made sure to talk quietly, a conversation just for them. Eddie turned his attention from the road to Richie with a slight hum. “You know you’re my best friend right? And nothing will ever change that. Not even distance.” Eddie nodded in understanding but turned back to the window. Richie glanced at the time. They’d been driving for about 6 hours at that point, and the gas tank was getting pretty low.

“Alright. We’re stopping, we need some gas and then it’ll be Big Bill’s turn.” There was a chorus of okays as he looked for an exit with a gas station. Luckily the next one was only 10 miles down the road. He pulled off the exit and into a Speedway. “Go pee now! No accidents in my baby please!”

Everyone did their business and Bill paid for this round of gas. Richie checked the cooler to find only four more lunchables and a few flavored waters. He grabbed for the extra soda he’d packed to fill up the cooler again, making a mental note that they all needed a proper meal soon. Everyone piled back into the suv, Bill and Ben in the front, Stan and Mike once again on their middle seat, and Eddie Richie and Bev on the back bench seat. Then they were back on the road.

“Hey Eds, do you wanna watch some Netflix or something? I brought earbuds.” Eddie was in the middle of him and Bev and currently watching Bev play whatever game on her Switch. He’d been watching her since they left the gas station about an hour ago and Richie was jealous. Not of Beverly of course, just that she was getting Eddie’s attention. Richie had already listen to her explain her game to him, twice, and he wanted some Eddie time.

“Maybe later Rich. Bev is just about to beat this level but she only has like four units left. It’s really intense.” He didn’t even glance in Richie’s direction. If he would’ve, he would see the pout on his face and the hurt in his eyes.

“I don’t know what that means. What game are you even playing?” He was still pouting.

“Fire Emblem dude. I’ve already said that like five times since you’ve been back here. The new game came out and I’m obsessed. You get an X amount of fighters, they all have different abilities, and you have to try to kill all the enemies on the board. This game makes you a professor, so you have to train your students. This is a big deal. My class is about to kick ass. Now shush. It’s intense.”

“Sorry.” Eddie barely spoke as he continued watching Bev. Richie simply hung his head and plugged in his earbuds. He knew he was being a little ridiculous but he couldn’t help it. He’d spent 6 hours driving so it’s not like Eddie got much of his attention, and he deserved all of it. That just wasn’t in the cards this trip it seemed. It didn’t take long for Richie to get bored of Netflix, he was just watching old episodes of Criminal Minds anyways. Not even his guilty pleasure show could lift his mood. Looking over at Eddie once more, the other lad was still watching Beverly, but he also had his phone out on Instagram. Beverly had already finished the battle and he wasn’t even fully watching her. Yet, he hadn’t said a word to Richie. He’d be lying if he said that didn’t hurt, but he didn’t blame him. He wouldn’t want to be annoyed for hours either. Unless it was Eddie annoying him of course.

Richie went back to his own little world, turning on his ‘sad boi’ playlist, it felt fitting. He knew it was silly, but he felt like a fool. Of course Eddie would rather do anything else than spend this trip with Richie. This was his last trip with most of their friends, but Richie was going to UCLA with him. Why would he want to spend time with him? He already had to spend at least four more years with his annoying friend who made stupid jokes that weren’t even funny...and was secretly in love with him.

Fuck.

Richie’s mind was jerked to consciousness as the car came to a stop. He didn’t even remember falling asleep. With a yawn, he lifted his head off the arm of the seat. Man, his neck was killing him. As he cracked his neck he wondered how he even fell asleep lying on that in the first place. The doors were slammed open as everyone filed out one by one. Richie being the last to emerge, he caught a glimpse of the Taco Bell beside them and realized he was indeed starving.

“Lets fucking eat!” Beverly exclaimed running toward the restaurant doors. Everyone followed suit and mumbled their agreement. Eddie fell behind with Richie.

“Hey Chee. Did you have a nice sleep?” Richie didn’t even bother lifting his head as he simply shrugged. His mind was still elsewhere. He’d never admitted to himself that the things he was feeling were more than platonic but now it’s the only thing he could think of. The way he enjoyed the other boy’s attention, his eyes, his lips, his whole fucking face. He wasn’t ready to reveal his feelings so he suppressed them, even if it meant ignoring Eddie. He was sure Eddie would be relived anyways.

“Did you wanna watch Netflix after we eat? I’ve been looking forward to that Blake Anderson movie you downloaded.” Richie finally looked at him, honestly in shock that the other still wanted something to do with him. Which was a mistake. He shouldn’t have looked, then he wouldn’t have caught the sun in Eddie’s eyes.

“Nah it’s okay Eds. You can keep watching Bev play, I don’t mind.” Richie waved him off as they stepped inside.

“But I want to! Have you seen the trailer for Game Over Man? It looks fucking hilarious.”

“Oh. Sure, you can watch it. I think I’m just going to drive the rest of the way. I took a nap.” With that, Richie walked to the register to order. The other losers were already sat a table toward the back, waiting for their food. Eddie could pretend to want to spend time with him, but Richie could tell he wasn’t interested in the car. What would change that now? He had accepted it, and just wanted to drive. It helped him get away. Neither boy spoke the entire time they were eating, while the others engaged in casual conversation. If they noticed the two being quiet they didn’t mention it.

“Hey. I’m going to drive. I napped.” Richie grabbed the keys from Bill as he started toward the drivers side. He didn’t wait for a reply as he got in and started the suv. They had around 8 more hours until the reached Colorado and Richie intended on driving the entire way. It seemed like every could sense the tension but was too afraid to say anything. By the 20 hours mark everyone in the back was sleeping soundly while Richie jammed out. Everyone except Eddie. He’d been listening to Richie play half a song then change it, then listen to half another song then change it, and so on, for the past hour and a half. Richie knew he was probably being annoying, but he was more interested in keeping his mind off his own insecurities than noticing. It took another five songs for Eddie to finally snap.

“What the fuck Richard? Why do you keep changing the song?! Let one finish.” Richie didn’t need to look at him to know he was rolling his eyes, and probably pouting as well.

“Eds, did you just meme me? The meme lord.”

“First of all. No one says meme lord anymore. Second of all. We haven’t listened to a full song in hours, and it’s driving me insane.”

“I have multiple favorite songs and I love them equally. What can I say? I’m polyjamorous.”

“Ugh. Just shut up and pick a fucking song already.” Eddie turned his body to look out the window as he went silent and crossed his arms. Richie didn’t say another word, simply choosing a playlist and letting it play. This was going to be the longest five hours of Richie’s life. He hated making Eddie upset, but he didn’t want to open his dumb mouth and make everything worse. He always made everything worse...

“Hey, uh, Eds?” Richie finally broke the silence, Eddie had been staring out the window for two hours now and Richie was starting to worry. “I’m sorry about the music.” Eddie’s attention snapped to him as he turned back to him.

“That’s not why I’m upset idiot. Why are you being like this? We barely talked this entire trip! I was really looking forward to this, but now I’m just thinking it was a mistake.” Richie sneaked a glance in his direction before turning back to the road. He saw Eddie’s hurt expression and suddenly felt like an asshole.

“You made it pretty clear earlier that you weren’t interested in watching anything with me. I was just making it easier for you, by taking myself out of the equation. You can do what you wanna do now.”

“What? What are you talking about? I literally asked if you would watch it with me!”

“I know you only asked because I seemed down. But I’m okay Eds. You could’ve watched Bev play more. I didn’t take it personally don’t worry.” Richie tried to give a smile but it didn’t even meet his eyes.

“No Chee. I am worried. You’re talking non sense. I asked because I wanted to spend time with you. Dumbass. I was only watching Beverly because you needed to sleep! You’d just driven like seven hours in the early morning and I know you don’t sleep at night.” Richie’s eyes widened at Eddie’s words. He was officially speechless. Eddie wanted to spend time with him? He was just worried?...about Richie’s well-being? No way. No way Richie had misread the entire situation. No way.

“Richie. If you don’t say something I’m going to be more upset. Just being honest.” Eddie’s arms were once again crossed.

“I...don’t know what to say. I thought you seemed really disinterested in Netflix...with me.”

“I’d watch anything with you.” Eddie’s voice was so soft, Richie had to lean closer to even hear him.

“But...why?”

“Because I love you. You big dumb idiot.” Richie’s hands gripped the steering wheel as his brain processed what was just said. Platonic Richie. Platonic. He means it platonically....doesn’t he? Of course he does.

“Richie...” Eddie’s voice was soft once again as he leaned over to lay his hand on Richie’s. “When we stop, we should really talk.”

-Taglist

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[thatguyniles]

Blog Post #1

Out of all the films we had to watch, Mid 90’s was the most interesting to me. I’m interested in learning to skate and the retro look has always been cool to me. It was also one of the only films to hold my full attention to the point where I rewatched scenes for my own pleasure. Long story short this movie is lit. One of the characters I most identified with would be Ray. 

In the skate shop, Ray explains how it is being black because Fourth Grade asks if it’s cool. Spoiler it’s pretty cool not gonna lie. Ray gives an example that I wasn’t expecting from the movie. He says when they skate in Beverly Hills, they already get looked at some type of way and people say they’re vandalizing and stuff, but it feels like it comes down harder on him. After hearing him say that it was apparent that I would probably relate to him the most since i’m a young black man, and have also felt that some instances the consequences are harder for myself. 

When Ruben is explaining to Stevie everyone's nicknames, he says that Ray doesn’t need one because he’s cool without one. I feel a similar way about nicknames. I don’t need a nickname to feel different or cooler because A) I’m already cool, and B) I feel like my name is cool and having a nickname would take away from who I am. Stevie also says that ray is cooler without a nickname. Ray’s friends obviously see him in a positive light, which is the same with mine (I hope). They’ve told me I’m a cool dude, even though I don’t see anything I do that makes me seem any cooler than the average guy. If I had to take a guess It’s probably how I carry myself, like Ray I come off as a chill, laid back kinda guy and I also have a knack for clowning on people. We both also question authority, whether it be demands or rules that are set in place.

 When Ray and his squad are posted up on the steps of a school, a security guard walks up and tells them that they gotta skidaddle before they get their asses beat. Of course in classic teen fashion they say no and start roasting his ass lmao. Ray and the guard get into an F-you match and Ray says “you smokin cigarettes on school property” and the guard says Jesus smokes cigarettes. Ray immediately claps back with “what kinda cigarettes he smoke”. The guard, caught off guard (pun intended) stumbles over his words and storms off. Long story short I’m a smart ass.

There are three common themes in the films we watched and they are, drugs, acceptance and alcohol. In Mid 90’s Stevie smokes cigarettes with Ruben because he wants to fit in. Ruben saying he should be more like him because he smokes, skates, and dips his pen in someone else’s ink *wink*probably gave Stevie more incentive to try and fit in within the group of skaters especially since it appears that Stevie is younger than Ruben is. In KIDS Telly steals a 40 and drinks it throughout the next scene. Later Telly is offered Whip its in one of his homeboys crib and does one, immediately feeling the high. Back to Mid 90’s, Fuck Shit gives Ruben and Stevie some of his ADD medication, much to the dislike of Ray. In the next scene the group goes to a party and Stevie is seen smoking weed with a girl he met that night. These themes are relatable to youth culture because teens and young adults are at a vulnerable point socially in life. 

Teens usually try to fit into groups that they see as popular or successful at that point in time.They try to feel accepted because they themselves are unsure of what they want to do or who they are. Humans are social creatures so not fitting in any group hits us hard mentally.

Now the part I’ve been looking forward to the most, a new soundtrack for Mid 90’s! I’m about to give you the greatest soundtrack ever just so you know. 

The first song I thought of was “There They Go”, a South african rapper named  Nasty C. This song in my opinion fits well in the scene where everyone is skating at the courthouse and the police arrive. Everyone scatters and I think the name of the song fits the situation well. The song just sounds like good chase music to me.

 Next is “Dr Birds”, by rap collective Griselda. This song fits more as an instrumental in the scene where Fuck Shit accidently hits Stevie’s older brother with his board during a trick. The two then stand face to face and Fuck Shit punks him making him walk off. The song gives off a standoff vibe and has a bell sound that reminds me of the standoffs from Dragonball Z right before a fight.

“Fubu” by rapper Royce Da 5’9” featuring Conway the machine comes to mind as soon as I saw the party scene. The song is from Royce’s album “The Allegory”, and like always he come with bars. The beat gives off a mischievous and sneaky vibe that I think would go along well with the low lit lighting and the weed they smoke since obviously they wouldn’t want anyone to know what’s happening here.

“Wish You Well” by rapper Amir Obe would fit perfectly during the scene when Stevie comes home high off the drugs he took before and after the party and runs from his brother around the house. The song has an intensity that isn’t too overpowering for the scene, even if only the beat is used.

“Kingdom Come” by Raury played in the back of my head when Ruben and Stevie were talking about nicknames. The song reminds me of togetherness with its calm mood and slower tempo. I think it works well when characters are connecting or expanding their relationship between one another.

“I’m Good Luv, Enjoy” by rapper Aaron May is a song I personally love to cruise to, so it’s only fitting I have it play during the scene when the group of skaters (and Stevie) are riding their boards down the street after Ray suggest they go skateboarding at the skate shop. The song would continue to play during the security guard interaction. The song has a good bounce along with the lyrics “I ain’t got time for you, get up out my face” work well because Ray gets in the guards face and clowns him which makes him leave. It reminds me of high school when me and my friends would crack jokes on the security guard at lunch.

“PTSD” by rap label Dreamville is a much better song to play when Ray and Stevie skate after his mother tells him he can’t hang with the skaters anymore. After his mom does her motherly duty Ray and Stevie have a heart to heart, and ray opens up about his younger brother who passed away. The song that actually plays during this scene is ass I’m not gonna lie. They needed to have me select the songs, Jonah Hill should cut me a check I’m just saying.

“Almeda” by Solonge is more of a joke selection. Don’t get me wrong the song is good, but if it were to play when Stevie downs a 40, that would be hilarious! Think about it as Steve chugs the bottle Solonge goes “pour my drank, sip, sip, sip,��� lmao pure gold right there.

“Y U DON’T LOVE ME (MISS AMERIKKKA)” by Joey Bada$$ would play a little after Stevie gets drunk to Solonge. A lot happens in this scene and the trippy sound the beat has would complement Stevie and his impaired state especially when he gets into a fight with Ruben at a skatepark.

The final song I couldn’t decide between “It Ain’t Hard to Tell” by Nas, or “93 ‘Till Infinity” by Souls Of Mischief. These songs would play during Fourth Grade’s movie he was filming throughout the whole movie. The song that plays in the movie is an old school hip hop record, so I figured why not keep the similar sound, especially since he named the film wait for it….Mid 90’s.

You probably want to listen to this marvelous and swaggy soundtrack, oh what’s this a link to the soundtrack where did that come from. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0eFLRkG3KEgyMbWTGcJefn?si=RBLAKIsrTFqDLrsaLG_PSQ

[baevolio-and-mercuteio]

CALM Review

It's isolation time which means I have Thoughts so I'm doing my live review and then ranking of CALM, the new 5sos album.

Now my knowledge of technicality within music is sub par, idrk what a falsetto is despite being told repeatedly by my flatmate, but I love music and therefore I get an opinion. This is also coming from someone who was a big fan from maybe 2014-2017 and enjoyed over half of Youngblood (and meant to be seeing them live for the first time in May but with covid19 idk if that's happening hun ahaha)

Red Desert: enjoyable, nice bass. Fits right into my strange but chill playlist. Just liking the straight vibes here, idk how to explain. Let's give it a 8.5/10 -> Wait okay so listened again and it's just so good, bumping it to a 9/10! Also getting some Orville Peck vibes and idk why bc they are not the same genre at all, maybe it's that Arizona desert vibe

No Shame - definitely grown on me since it's release but to enjoy it I have to listen with the music video so it's not one I would like to appear on shuffle. It's just fine not much to say, so 6.5/10

Old Me - enjoy this one a lot, very easily stuck in my head although there isnt much variation within the song, in this case it works. A general bop sitting at 8/10

Easier - bop city, enjoyed this at its release and over time it's a little boring but I enjoyed it then so it gets to be a 7.5/10

Teeth - like this one, darker than the other tracks and gives off grungier less polished vibes even tho it is quite polished. It's certainly not pop punk a la 2015 but I'm happy to have this in multiple playlists, so 8/10

Wildflower - a lovely chill (sensual or maybe just horny) summer vibe. The 80s synth vibe is cool, this could be one of the Summer Songs. I feel like Harry Styles did it better but......oh wait a hot second, is this a Calum solo song??? That defo takes it from a 7.5 to an 8/10. I miss his lovely voice and I did love Babylon so.

Best Years - slow, basic, fine, 6/10. I'll give it another listen and my opinion might change. -> Sorry I know it's meant to be cute or whatever but like if I didn't know it was 5sos I wouldn't care, full stop. Sooo I'm actually dropping it to 5.5/10 whoops

Not In The Same Way - yeah nah, just stick it on the soundtrack of some John Green adaptation and leave it there. 5.5/10 -> another listen and I'm still bored, not much to say

Lover of Mine - getting vibes I can't quite describe, it feels like my life around 2014 (not 5sos related) so it's a bit strange. Dont really like the pre-chorus but the rest is enjoyable 7/10

Thin White Lies - kind of dramatic in the way that I need to listen to it at 2am when writing some angsty poetry, doesn't really work at 3pm in bright sunlight when writing an essay on Wales. Also getting dark 2012 vibes (again, unrelated to 5sos themselves) so that's odd. I'll give it 7/10 -> listening again and its overcast which makes it cooler but I'm not sad enough to listen to it. It's a song I have to be upset to listen to, it won't make me upset on it's own.

Lonely Heart - so I said TWL hard 2012 vibes, yeah well so does this but NOT in a good way, I'm not having this yikes. Don't want to go back there sorry, leaves it at 6/10. If I could remove the emotions I had around 2012 then it would an enjoyable song but personal experience says nah.

High - it's a nice way to end the album, very opposite vibes to Red Desert. Saying that, I dont care for it all that much. I appreciate what it's doing but I would choose to listen to it. Nevertheless it gets a 6.5/10 (Edit: it's cute now, like it more)

So, these are my irrelevant thoughts, enjoy.

Just kidding, I'm going to rank the album from best to worst:

Red Desert

Old Me

Teeth

Wildflower

Easier

Lover of Mine

No Shame -> (I know I rated it lower than TWL but it fits this way)

Thin White Lies

High

Lonely Heart

Not In The Same Way

Best Years