#...so here's the thing. all those pieces are rigged with actually almost enough tie points and most of the knots seem to be bowlines

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Her Other Family

As requested by @slvt-4-bees Hope this meets your expectations and thanks so much for the request!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,826

******

The anxiety that’s coursing through you right now would worry even the most oblivious of people.

You wring your fingers together as you pace the floor of your bedroom, thoughts running a mile a minute.

“I’m almost positive the neighbors are gonna make a complaint soon if you don’t stop.” Your girlfriend speaks, eyes watching your form.

Bringing your hand up to your face, you continue the unhealthy habit of biting your fingernail(yes just the one, on your thumb).

“Look I didn’t think it’d stress you out. You don’t have to come if you don’t wa-“

“I want to!” You cut her off,“ I just- they’re the Avengers.”

Natasha lets out a small laugh,“ I’m an Avenger.” She reasons.

“That’s different.” You wave her off.

Jokingly offended, she asks,“ how!?”

“Tasha you walk around here in light pink fuzzy socks and pout when I don’t bake you cookies.”

Admittedly, yes, Natasha is very soft for you. But having not met her other family you aren’t aware of how soft they actually are.

That is to change though, tonight at Tony’s costume party. With the man having plans with his daughter on Halloween, he planned this party so he could celebrate with his team(and it’s Tony of course he wouldn’t pass up a chance to have a party).

Standing up, Natasha steps in front of you, her hands gripping your shoulders,“ Y/N, love, it’s just a party and they are normal people.”

When you look into her forest eyes you can’t help but take in her assuring words. After a deep breath, you nod, and mentally agree to calm down and let things happen.

For the couple hours you have before the party you hang out with Natasha: helping dye each other’s hair for your costumes and then cuddling on the couch and talking about her team(you didn’t want to go in with only the knowledge you got from the media). 

Soon enough the two of you are getting dressed.

You stand in front of the mirror, wiggling your hips as you pull the small red and black shorts up your legs, then tugging on the matching corset. As you’re fixing your hair Natasha walks out of the bathroom.

E/C eyes trail up the expanse of her body, over the green knee high boots, nude colored stockings, and green one piece. The plastic leafy material covers all the important parts of her body but leaves her legs, cleavage, and arms exposed. 

Looking at her now, a big part of you wants to negate the whole party plan just to stay here and ravage her. 

Natasha shares the same adage, biting her lip as she takes in your costume clad body. With a smile, she stands behind you, admiring how good you two look together in your costumes.

“If this party weren’t so important to the team I’d tie you to the bed right now.” She whispers against the shell of your ear.

A tingle travels through your body at her words and it takes everything in you to push away from her. It takes even greater strength to actually get out of your apartment with Natasha constantly putting her hands on your body. Even on the ride over her hand remains on your thigh.

You’d heard about Tony Starks legendary parties, you’d even treated a couple patients with broken bones who came from said parties to the urgent care clinic you work at. And all those stories are completely true.

The party is in full swing when you and Natasha arrive. People move about the large space dressed in a variety of costumes, drinks flow freely from the bar and the DJ in the far corner fills the room with music as orange lights strobe. If you didn’t know any better you’d think a teenager planned this.

At your moment of entry, you’re greeted by the first two members of her team. Clint, her best friend/brother who you’d met before, approaches in a leather Green Arrow costume accompanied by a pretty brunette in a Wonder Woman outfit.

“Nat, Y/N, you made it.” Clint wastes no time pulling you both into a hug. 

You chuckle and return it,“ it’s good to see you too Clint.”

The brunette looks on curiously, urging you to nudge Natasha a little to introduce you.

“Right, Y/N this is my friend and teammate Wanda. Wanda this is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

Wanda didn’t need more explanation than that. She’d seen the illuminating grin on Natasha’s face when she’d get texts from you or the same grin that appeared when she left the compound every night. Wanda now knows the source of Natasha’s happiness. 

She immediately pulls you into a hug, gushing about how good it is to meet you and how much she loves your costume. 

“Thank you so much. I love yours too. Wonder Woman is a brilliant choice.” 

A thankful smile plays on her face,“ oh thanks. It was suggested by Clint’s daughter. If not for her I’d be in my mission gear.” 

You laugh at that, the four of you heading deeper into the party.“ Like Iron Man over there.” Natasha laughs as well.

Tony is indeed in his Iron Man suit, arm wrapped around Rhodey(who’s dressed in a black suit with black glasses) in front of the DJ’s set up.

“Did he paint his suit orange and black?” You squint trying to see clearly through the lights.

“Yes, yes he did.” Wanda nods.

An unfamiliarly smooth voice joins the conversation,“ cause he’s dramatic as hell.”

All your gazes turn to the source. A dark skinned man dressed in silk boxing shorts and a matching robe stands at the bar.

“I think he has a reason to be. Or at least the goods to back it up.” You retort. 

Tony’s a billionaire and a genius. Alongside being among the heroes who saved the universe, he’s lead groups and contributed to organizations that better the world. He(if anyone) deserves to relish in the spotlight.

The “boxer’ scoffs,“ if you wanna talk about the goods to back it up why d-”

Before he can even finish, an arm circles around your waist. The familiar woodsy and cinnamon scent relaxes you,“ Wilson, always looking for an excuse to have your shirt off.” 

It’s not lost on you that this is a possessive move. Wilson was clearly about to pull some corny ass line but Natasha was not about to have it. Your her girl.

“Don’t act like you aren’t impressed Romanoff.” He smirks back.

You raise an eyebrow at her, only playing,“ are you impressed Romanoff?”

Suppressing a laugh, Natasha shakes her head,“ not at all. But I’m sure you know exactly how to impress me.” Her voice drops seductively as well as her hand on your waist.

“Woah woah. Is this- is this a thing?” Wilson points between you and Natasha.

“Sam, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” Natasha introduces you,“ Y/N this is Falcon, aka bird boy, aka Sam.”

You extend a hand to him,“ nice to meet you Bird Boy.”

Addressing him as that made Wanda, Clint, and Natasha laugh. 

Luckily the laughter continued through the night. The four of you stuck close through the party, drinking(all of you except Natasha who’s driving you two home later), and talking. Sam popped up every so often to join conversations.

It wasn’t until the party started to end that you met the rest of the Avengers. 

In a way that seems completely routine, the team grabs drinks, and heads to a seating area. Natasha fixes you a f/d and tugs your hand. 

Tony, who’s now removed the Iron Man suit, frowns at you, that frown directing to your hand linked with Natasha’s.

“Am I missing something here?” He asks.

“Just an introduction.” Your girlfriend teases, pulling you on to the couch between her and Wanda, who you admittedly hit it off with.

Not that you were ranking Natasha’s teammates but you like Wanda the most. She’s a very genuine person, giving off a warm and welcoming vibe. 

Everyone waits for Natasha to introduce you, eyes widening and eyebrows raising when she says you her girlfriend. 

“Y/N that is Steve and Bucky,” she points to the blonde and brunette men in Dodgers uniforms,“ that’s Thor,” another blonde man but he’s dressed as Superman,“ and obviously that’s Tony and Bruce.”

Thor very loudly and boisterously speaks of how nice it is to meet you. Bucky and Steve make mention of how they’re glad you make Natasha happy. Bruce’s reaction is hard to put a single emotion on, but he seems okay with your presence. And Tony, surprisingly, is pretty excited to get to know you.

Over the next couple of hours you see how chaotic the seemingly put together group of heroes actually is. As drinks flow further they fall into teasing but playful banter and they include you in it as if they’d known you for years. Until it shifts to childish games, mainly being that of lifting the hammer. 

Natasha whispers in your ear that it’s basically a party tradition to do so. They reason that one of them could very easily have become worthy over the time that’s passed between parties.

“Y/N, you’re up.” All eyes fall to you as Tony calls you out.

Eyes wide, you look around at them,“ what about Natasha?” You point out.

They all laugh at that, saying how Natasha doesn’t participate in this.

“Why not?” 

Natasha chuckles,“ cause love, I can’t lift it.” 

“Like hell! You wouldn’t know, apparently you haven’t tried.” 

The team instigates it, ‘ooo’s ringing out. 

Letting out a sigh, Natasha rolls her eyes, and stands. Everyone’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. 

Her slender fingers wrap around the handle of the hammer, she sends an uncertain look receiving a challenging eyebrow from you, before she pulls.

When nothing happens, Tony is quick to mention that it’s rigged. For the hell of it you go over and attempt to but it doesn’t move. 

Faking upset, you fall on to the couch beside Natasha,“ I thought I was worthy.” You pout.

The team watches in slight awe at how soft Natasha responds to you.

“Awe, lyubov moya, you are worthy of all the stars. That hammer obviously uses fingerprint recognition.” She presses a kiss to you temple making you smile.

“Isn’t that sweet.” Tony mocks.

Sam rolls his eyes,“ so Romanoff is soft, huh?”

The Black Widow mask slips on instantly as she levels Sam with a glare,“ I won’t hesitate to kick your ass.”

He makes his next statement as he runs away and your girlfriend chases after. 

With everyone laughing at the two around you, you can’t even remember why you had been so anxious in the first place. More than anything you find yourself looking forward toy getting to know Natasha’s other family better.

[spnirwin]

#14 with Buck or Eddie please!!!

Prompt request: #14 - “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

Pairing: Buck x reader

Word Count: 1,949

Warnings: Mild language

A/N: Most of you will probably read the prompt and think kids, but that is NOT the direction I took this in. Enjoy! Requests are open!

—

You had a terrible habit of rubbing your face as soon as you woke up. Clearly Buck knew that very well, for you currently found yourself with your face and both hands covered in whipped cream. You had unknowingly rubbed whipped cream all over your face and boy, were you mad.

“Evan Buckley!” you shouted.

“Yes darling?” Buck’s head appeared in the doorway of your shared bedroom. “Oh dear. You seem to have something on your face.”

He faked confusion as you glared daggers at him. “You are so going to pay for this.”

He couldn’t hold a straight face any longer and dissolved into laughter. “Oh, I look forward to it.”

He tossed a towel at you, still laughing. As you wiped your face you let him laugh, knowing he was completely unaware that there was a surprise waiting for him in the kitchen. You had swapped all the sugar in the jar for salt. His coffee would have a very different taste that morning.

You and Buck were currently locked in an intense prank war, one that didn’t look like it would be ending anytime soon. It had all begun a few days prior when Buck had decided to try one of those Tik Tok pranks on you. You had been sitting on the couch watching TV when he sat down beside you, post workout, drinking a bottle of water. He began asking you the sounds that a bunch of different animals make while he took sips from the bottle. Puzzled, you answered all of his questions until he asked you the sound that a whale makes. Before you even had a chance to respond he had spit water in your face, effectively soaking you. From that moment on you were battling each other, the pranks getting worse each time.

“What the hell?!” You heard the exclamation from the kitchen and smiled to yourself. Salt in his coffee was the least of Buck’s worries with all the pranks you had planned for him.

—

The next few days passed in a blur of pranks, fake anger, and laughter. You and Buck were having way too much fun with your prank war and it seemed there was no end in sight.

After the coffee incident, Buck had twisted a hair tie around the sprayer in the kitchen sink so that when you turned on the faucet you got a face full of water. You had retaliated by replacing the filling in a bunch of Oreos with toothpaste. Seeing the look on Buck’s face when he bit into his favorite snack and found that it had been tampered with had practically left you on the floor in a fit of laughter.

When you walked out of your bedroom one morning you found Buck slipping out of your office. You were fortunate enough to work from home, but Buck rarely ever went into your office without you there and you were immediately suspicious. After sending him off to work you spent 20 minutes searching but didn’t find anything that indicated a prank. Relaxing, you decided to begin your workday. As soon as you sat down in your chair you realized what Buck had been doing in there. You shot up immediately at the sound of the air horn blasting underneath you. To say it scared you was an understatement, and you knew you had entered a whole new league of pranks.

Unbeknownst to you, over at the 118 Buck was howling with laughter. He had rigged up a camera in your office that was live-streaming to his phone so he saw the exact moment you sat down in your chair.

“Eddie, you have to watch this!” He ran across the apparatus floor to where Eddie was hitting the punching bag.

Buck replayed the video and Eddie started laughing at your reaction to the air horn. “I’m so glad it worked. That was next level, man.” They high fived, both still laughing.

“Does Y/N know who the true mastermind behind these pranks is?” Hen asked, passing by.

“Nope,” Buck replied. “And there’s no reason she needs to find out.”

He and Eddie exchanged a secretive look and Hen sighed, shaking her head as she walked away.

—

Buck’s scream echoed throughout the apartment, and you were almost positive it could be heard at the café across the street. You leaned against the bathroom door for support as you hysterically laughed at the bewildered look on Buck’s face. He was clutching his chest and staring at the toilet seat, mouth hanging open.

“What just happened?” he asked, breathless.

Trying to catch your own breath, you walked over and lifted the toilet seat. Hidden underneath were six little poppers that had gone off like fireworks when he sat down on the toilet.

He shook his head at you, clearly impressed. “Okay, I’ll admit, that was a good one. You really got me.”

“You should’ve seen your face! You looked like you had just died and come back to life.” You giggled at him and he smiled.

“You should feel how fast my heart is beating, I think I just had a heart attack.”

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics but reached out and placed your hand on his chest anyway, his heart beating a mile a minute underneath your fingers. He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around you.

“When are we going to call this quits?” he whispered.

“Dunno,” you replied. “Depends on when you give up.” You looked up at him to find him already smiling down at you.

He shook his head at you again. “Sometimes you’re too stubborn for your own good.”

You raised your eyebrows as you pulled away from him. “Yeah, and you cheat.”

“What are you talking about?” He was trying desperately to keep his voice innocent and it wasn’t working.

“You aren’t a very quiet whisperer, nor are you good at making sneaky phone calls,” you laughed. “Tell Eddie I’m coming for him next.” You turned and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Buck alone again.

He stared at the empty doorway for a minute before sending a hasty text to Eddie.

—

You snuck into the 118 through a side door, almost tripping over an unseen object in the darkness. It was 1:30 AM and you were about to pull off your grandest prank yet.

“Hen?” you whispered.

“You know, you didn’t have to sneak in here like a thief.” The light above you flicked on and you saw Hen standing in front of you. “They’re both asleep. Come on.”

She opened the door behind her and you stepped onto the apparatus floor. You quickly followed her up the stairs where you found Chimney and Bobby sitting on the couch waiting for you. Setting your bag down, you greeted both of them quickly.

“Thanks for helping me out with this, guys.”

“No problem,” Bobby replied. “Just tell us where you want us.”

“Yeah, they’ve done you dirty the past week, girl,” Hen said. “It’s the least we can do.”

Chimney stood and rubbed his hands together. “I’m just excited to actually see them scared for once.”

You laughed and began pulling objects out of your duffle bag. “Do you have the PVC pipes?” you asked Chimney.

“Sure do!” He motioned towards the closet off of the kitchen.

“Perfect.” You began directing the three of them on how to construct the idea you had planned for Buck and Eddie. When you finished everyone began moving, fitting pieces of pipe together in an intricate shape.

“Are you sure they won’t wake up?” Bobby paused his work, a concerned look on his face.

“Oh no, Buck sleeps like he’s dead. The only thing that wakes him up is the sound of the station getting a call or me whacking him. And I happen to have insider information that Eddie is pretty much the same way.”

Bobby nodded his head before continuing his work. Before long the four of you were carrying pieces of PVC pipe down the stairs and into the bunk room. Quietly, you began erecting the pipes into a maze above and throughout Buck and Eddie’s cube. The gaps between the pieces of PVC were just large enough for them to be able to squeeze through if they were determined enough.

When you were finished the four of you stood back and admired your handiwork. Hen patted you on the back and Chimney once again rubbed his hands together with glee.

“They’re so cute when they’re asleep,” you sighed quietly. “I almost feel bad.”

“Don’t,” Chimney whispered in response.

Bobby raised his eyebrows at you and you nodded back at him in response. He turned slightly away and, like magic, the station alarm went off signaling a should be call.

Both Buck and Eddie shot up in bed, slipped their feet in their shoes, and stood up in one swift motion. The act of standing put pressure on the poppers you had taped to the bottom of their shoes and you were greeted with the loud sound of them exploding for the second time that day. Eddie stumbled backwards and Buck fell directly back onto his bed in response.

You watched as both men shook their sleepiness off and quickly realized what was happening. They looked around in bewilderment at the giant PVC pipe maze you had constructed around them. Buck turned and met your eyes, a look of disbelief on his face. Eddie was already analyzing the maze, trying to figure out an escape plan.

“Good luck boys!” You waved at them before turning and walking out of the bunk room.

Ten minutes later Hen, Chimney, and Bobby joined you on the couch upstairs. All three of them were laughing and Hen held out her phone for you to take.

“You have to watch the video I took of those two idiots. Your boyfriend almost got himself stuck on his head. Eddie had to pull him backwards by his legs.”

You took her phone and watched the video, dissolving into a laughing fit at the way they were attempting to escape from the maze.

“So, bets on how long it takes them?” Chimney asked. Everyone threw out their guesses of time, the answers varying wildly from one another.

42 minutes later Buck and Eddie trudged up the last steps into the kitchen, clearly exhausted. They collapsed into the closest chairs.

Eddie pointed an accusing finger at you and narrowed his eyes. “You’re an evil mastermind.”

“How did you even pull that off?” Buck asked.

“I had some assistance.” You gestured around you to the other three people in the room. “I figured you had help, why shouldn’t I employ some too?”

“Well, you all suck.” Buck said, half heartedly.

You stood and walked over to him, wrapping your arms around him from behind. “Aw, don’t pout. Just admit that I won.” You shot him a small smile and he nodded his head.

“Oh, I’ll definitely admit defeat after that one.”

“Me too,” Eddie piped up from beside you.

“So, no more pranks?” You raised your eyebrows at them in slight disbelief.

“No more pranks,” Buck agreed.

“Good, I can’t wait for life to go back to normal. This is exhausting.”

“You’re telling me.” Buck huffed out a laugh.

You smiled at him again and pressed a light kiss to his lips. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, I started it after all.” He lifted your arm up in the air in a gesture of victory. “All hail the prank queen!” he shouted. Everyone echoed him with shouts of their own and you beamed, prouder of yourself than you had been in a long time.

—

[callboxkat]

Thankful

Author’s note: Does anybody still remember my college au? Because here’s some college au. This story can stand alone without the rest of that au, although it is canon to that universe. 

Look at me keeping up the adjective titles.

Summary: Thanksgiving is coming up, and Virgil’s dad is coming to visit. He doesn’t want his dad to come to his own run-down apartment, so he turns to his friend Logan for help.

Warnings: food mention, lying, injury mention, talk of poor family relationships

Word count: 3230

Writing Masterpost!

...

November 2018

“You got the popcorn, Pat?” a voice called from the other room.

“You bet!”

Logan stepped to the side as Patton barreled past with a large bowl of popcorn, nearly running into him in the process. He shook his head in fond exasperation and followed after.

He and his friends were at their weekly movie night, which as usual was held at their friend Roman’s house. Roman had a decent television, a large selection of movies, and was the only one with enough space for all seven college students to comfortably hang out and watch movies together. They were planning on watching two movies that night, determined by a vote. On nights when they weren’t all there, they would just discuss which movies to watch, but when all of them got together, it was a lot faster just to pick out some movies and vote on which to watch. Patton was counting the votes right because Roman and Joan had each tried to rig the votes in the past. Logan also wouldn’t put it past Remy to do something like that. Among all of them, Patton was the most trusted not to lie about the results. Logan was 99% sure he wouldn’t use that to his advantage.

Soon enough, all seven of them (Logan, Roman, Patton, Virgil, Remy, Joan, and Talyn) were all lounging around the living room while the first movie, Wreck it Ralph, began to play. Logan sat on the sofa along with Patton and Virgil; Roman was on the floor on a throne of pillows and blankets; Joan and Talyn shared the larger of the two chairs; and Remy sat in the other.

They passed around the bowl of popcorn as the movie played, getting comfortable and occasionally making comments on the film.

About halfway through, Logan felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Figuring it might be important, he retrieved it, only to see that the text was from Virgil, who was perched on the armrest of the very same sofa, just on the other side of Patton. (He sat there not because there wasn’t room on the sofa for him, but simply because he claimed he liked the arm better).

Logan frowned, confused, and opened the message.

Virgil: Can I ask you something weird?

Logan stared at the text, wondering why Virgil would send this and not just ask him out loud. And why in the middle of the movie? Perhaps this was one of those occasions where he either could not or preferred not to speak out loud; or perhaps he didn’t want their other friends to overhear his question either out of embarrassment, or perhaps he simply didn’t want to interrupt the film. All three scenarios were likely, and Logan was unsure which, if not a combination of the three, might be the case. The darkly dressed sophomore was bent slightly over his phone, sitting with a poor posture that made Logan cringe internally but which was not exactly unusual for him. His body language was hard for Logan to read, but it was entirely possibly that this was simply due to Logan himself not being especially talented at that sort of thing.

I suppose that depends on how ‘weird’ your inquiry is, Logan typed. He very nearly hit the “send” button before realizing that, if he sent that text, Virgil would definitely not ask him whatever he had wanted to ask. So, Logan deleted that and sent a much a simpler response in its place.

Logan: Yes.

Despite Logan’s direct, encouraging response, several minutes went by without a response. Logan returned his attention to the movie, thinking that perhaps Virgil had changed his mind. But eventually, a reply came.

Virgil: Do you do Thanksgiving?

Logan briefly thought back to the last time his family had attempted such a get-together, several years previously. It hadn’t exactly gone well.

Logan: Not generally, no. Is this the “weird” inquiry you referred to?

Virgil: So not this year?

Logan glanced over at the sophomore, who was still resolutely looking at his phone.

Logan: I hadn’t planned on doing anything except study.

Virgil: You’re not going to Patton’s?

Logan: No, why would I go to Patton’s?

Virgil: …Bc you spent Christmas there last year?

Logan: I see your point. I actually spent the past two Christmases with his family. I do not do the same for Thanksgiving, however. His family is rather large and close and I am not overly comfortable with that sort of thing.

Plus, if one of Patton’s relatives were to ask if the two of them were dating, that would make things very awkward very fast.

“Loogannnnn,” Roman moaned at that moment, flopping his head back on the sofa and pouting up at him. Despite being the oldest, Roman sometimes acted like the youngest among them. “Your phone is too bright, it’s ruining the atmosphere! How will we ever properly enjoy this cinematic masterpiece like this?” He gestured forlornly around the room, which Logan supposed might have been slightly more illuminated than Roman generally preferred for their movie nights; but he didn’t think it was enough of a disturbance to truly upset him.

“Virgil is also on his phone,” Logan pointed out mildly. His phone buzzed almost immediately.

Virgil: Traitor

“Yeah, but he’s always on his phone. And his brightness is all the way down!”

Logan’s phone brightness was barely above the lowest setting, but he simply shook his head and lowered it the rest of the way. It wasn’t worth the argument.

“Thank you,” Roman sighed. Joan threw a piece of popcorn at him, and they snorted at the betrayed look he shot them.

Logan looked back to his phone, which showed a notification that Virgil was currently typing. The notification kept disappearing and reappearing, as if to show how indecisive Virgil was about whatever he was trying to say. Finally, another message came up, this one much longer.

Virgil: So this is stupid, like really stupid, but I wanted to ask if maybe me and my dad could come over for thanksgiving. He wants to come see me and eat dinner together and stuff but I don’t want him to go to my apartment. I figured yours is probably clean and you’re the only one without plans. And this is so dumb but I was hoping maybe you’d pretend to be my roommate and we could eat there? You can say no obviously.

Logan read the long-winded message twice, then glanced over at Virgil. He was slowly sinking into himself, but in a subtle way that almost looked like he was just getting comfortable; so no one else had noticed.

Logan thought for a moment, then typed out a reply.

Logan: To be clear, I am not refusing, but why not bring him to your own apartment? Is something wrong with it? Are you and Remy not getting along?

Virgil let out a long breath, slowly untensing. Patton, who was sitting next to him, glanced over at him and whispered something. Whatever he said made Virgil crack a smile, and then Patton went back to watching the movie.

Logan waited, wondering what might have spurred Virgil to make this request. He had never personally visited Virgil’s apartment, so he didn’t know what the issue might be. To his knowledge, the only ones in their friend group who had seen it were Virgil himself, his roommate Remy, and, on one occasion, Roman. Roman hadn’t mentioned anything unusual about the place, though. As for Remy…. Logan glanced over at the other chair, where the young man in question was lounging, catlike, his sunglasses pushed up onto his forehead and a drink in hand as he watched the movie. He hadn’t been acting at all unusual lately, as far as he could tell, and Logan was unsure why he would have agreed to have this movie night with someone with whom he was fighting, let alone to carpool there.

His phone buzzed again.

Virgil: No, everything’s fine with Remy. He’s going to see family, he won’t even be home

Virgil: Plus my apartments a mess

Logan waited for any further explanation, but none came. He started typing again.

Logan: Why not go see your father where he lives, rather than him coming here?

Virgil: He already made the plans and I don’t want to make him change them

Virgil: Please? You’ll get food out of it

Logan considered. It wouldn’t be the worst thing, he supposed, to have company. He didn’t know Virgil’s father, but he hadn’t heard anything bad about him. And Virgil himself was one of his closest friends. Plus, Logan didn’t want to be the reason that Virgil’s Thanksgiving was ruined. He wasn’t close with his own family, and he hadn’t been in years, but he recognized that familial ties were important to other people. Whatever Virgil’s reasoning for not wanting to let his dad see his apartment, Logan supposed it didn’t matter. He could help his friend.

Logan: Tentatively, I agree. I would like to discuss this further, though, beforehand.

Virgil: Thank you thank you thank you

…

“So, how were you hoping to go about this?” Logan asked, leaning against the counter. The two of them were standing in Roman’s kitchen, talking in low tones while the others put the living room back to how it had been before they took it over.

“I don’t know,” Virgil mumbled, pouring himself a glass of tea. “I just—I was hoping I could, like, bring him over to your apartment and we could just eat there. And you could say you’re my roommate and stuff. I’m sorry, it’s stupid.”

“It is odd, I’ll admit, but I wouldn’t call it stupid. However, is deception really necessary?” Logan tilted his had slightly. “Could you not simply tell your father you don’t want to eat at your own apartment?”

Virgil took a conspicuously long sip of his tea, not looking at him.

Logan supposed that that would have to serve as his answer. He straightened his tie. “Alright, so telling the truth is not an option, then. I suppose I don’t object to your plan, provided it doesn’t cause anyone harm. We could prepare the meal in my kitchen, and eat there. Although I am unsure how convinced your father will be that we share an apartment.” Logan’s apartment was very, well, Logan.

Virgil shrugged, looking troubled. No doubt the thought had occurred to him as well.

“Perhaps you could come over on Wednesday,” Logan suggested. “We could put some of your things in my apartment, to help sell the idea that you live there.”

“You’d do that?” Virgil looked surprised.

“Why not? It doesn’t cause me any inconvenience.”

“I’m uprooting your whole week,” Virgil deadpanned. “How is that not inconvenient?”

“Two days is hardly a whole week,” Logan said, waving him off. “Besides, we have the time off, anyway.”

“Hey, lazy butts!” called a voice from the other room. “Come help!”

“Yes, of course,” Logan called back. “Apologies, we were simply discussing something.” He started off towards the others, glancing back at Virgil. “Wednesday, then? Perhaps you could come over around six.”

Virgil nodded, and Logan went to help clean up.

…

Virgil drove to Logan’s apartment complex, swearing under his breath the entire way. Not even the My Chemical Romance CD he had in the player could soothe his troubled thoughts.

This idea was so dumb. It was so dumb. Taking over his friend’s apartment for Thanksgiving just so his dad wouldn’t find out he lived in a run-down dump? Making Logan pretend he was his roommate? Ruining his friend’s day out of his own selfishness? This was so stupid. And rude. He was a bad friend.

And yet, for some reason, Logan had agreed. Why? Virgil didn’t understand it. Logan didn’t owe him anything. They were friends, yes, and had been through quite a lot in the year or so that they had known each other, but Virgil’s request was still a lot. So why was Logan going along with it? It just didn’t make sense. It was like something out of a bad fan fiction.

Except a fan fiction would probably have them end up getting together. Virgil made a face at the thought. He liked Logan, yeah, but as a friend and only as a friend. And he was very sure that Logan felt the same way.

Anyway, whatever his friend’s motivation for agreeing to Virgil’s ridiculous plan, Virgil soon found himself making his way up to Logan’s apartment with a heavy cardboard box in his arms.

Rather than setting the box down to knock or ring the doorbell, Virgil just rammed his knee into the door a couple of times. It did the job.

Sure enough, Logan opened the door a moment later. “Ah, Virgil,” he said, stepping aside to let him in.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly, stepping inside but not moving past the threshold.

“What did you bring?” Logan asked, closing the door behind him.

“A couple posters… favorite mug… random sh*t.”

“Is there only the one box? Or are there more in the car?”

Virgil felt his face go slightly pink. “Just the one.” He’d brought about half of his decorations (he didn’t have a lot) as well as a few other things.

“Well, that makes things easy,” Logan said with a smile. “Come on in; that box looks heavy.”

It was, but not ridiculously so. Even still, Virgil was happy to set it down on Logan’s coffee table.

Putting up Virgil’s decorations didn’t take too long. They put up the posters in the sitting room, in empty places on the walls where they fit in as well as any of Virgil’s belongings would in this apartment. They added Virgil’s favorite mug and bowl to the collection in the cabinets, put his figurines on the shelves, and put his cat-face-shaped pillow on one of the chairs.

“I think that’s it,” Virgil said, peering into the cardboard box once more to check. “You’re sure you’re good with this?”

“I am sure,” Logan confirmed, nodding once. “Besides, it seems a little late to change plans, even if I had for some reason changed my mind.”

“Right,” Virgil said.

“I’m okay with this, Virgil,” Logan assured him. “It’s only one day.”

Virgil nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll expect you tomorrow.”

…

The doorbell rang, the sound echoing through the apartment. Logan put his textbook to the side, got to his feet, and walked over to the door. When he pulled it open, Virgil stood there, looking sheepish; and behind him was a middle-aged man, smiling and holding a few bags of groceries.

“Hello,” Logan said, stepping aside to let them in.

“Forgot my keys,” Virgil mumbled, clearly his way of explaining why he’d had to knock on “his” apartment door to be let in.

“Hello,” said the man who must have been Virgil’s father, sticking out a hand. “I’m John, Virgil’s dad.”

“Logan,” he introduced himself politely, taking the man’s hand.

John’s expression grew confused. “Logan?” He looked towards his son, who made a small choking noise. “I thought your roommate’s name was Remy?”

“That’s our other roommate,” Logan said quickly. “He’s not home.”

“Oh,” he said. “Virgil, you never told me you had two roommates.”

Virgil shrugged, scuffing the toe of his shoe nervously on the floor. Apparently that sort of body language wasn’t too out of the ordinary, since his dad just set the grocery bags on the counter.

“Well, would the two of you like to help me cook? I picked up a few things on the way here. Nothing fancy, but it should make for a good meal.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth, and Logan realized he was about to make an excuse for him not helping.

“I’d love to,” he said before his friend could do so. Technically, they were guests in his apartment, even if one of them didn’t realize it. It would be rude to not help prepare the meal, wouldn’t it?

…

“I think we should all go around and say what we’re thankful for. What do you two say?”

Logan, who had been carefully filling his glass with his favorite cinnamon tea, looked up. Across the table, Virgil’s dad was watching them both with a smile.

Virgil slowly nodded, then glanced at Logan. His expression said, please?

“That sounds like a fitting course of action,” Logan said, setting down the pitcher of tea. Sharing what one was thankful for was the sort of thing families did in movies on Thanksgiving. He’d never done it before, but he assumed he could figure it out quite easily.

Virgil’s father, John, gave him a curious look when he spoke—he did whenever Logan did, like he was trying to figure him out. Logan paid it no mind. Most people did that sort of thing when they first met him. Patton’s parents had done the same thing, the first time he joined them for Christmas.

“I’ll go first,” John said. He looked at Virgil. “I think you know what I’m thankful for. I’m thankful for my wonderful, smart, kind, compassionate son, who is perfect just as God made him. I’m thankful for my job, for this meal, for the health and happiness of my family, and for this life that I’ve been able to live.”

Virgil had gone as red as a tomato. He poked at his plate with a fork, mumbling something along the lines of “How am I supposed to respond to that?”

“Virgil?” his dad prompted, clearly amused at his son’s flustered appearance.

“You,” Virgil grumbled. His eyes darted towards Logan. “My friends.” He kept poking at his plate, addressing the mashed potatoes. “My job. Music. Spiders, except when they scare Patton.”

Logan nodded sagely. Patton could be quite the arachnophobe.

“What about you, Logan? Care to share?”

It was Logan’s turn to hesitate. “I am also thankful for my friends,” he said slowly. “And my health.” After complications from a seriously injury earlier in the year, Logan could say with certainty that he no longer took that for granted. “And for… occasions like this.”

No one made him elaborate. They returned to their meal. They talked, Virgil’s dad asking them both about school, how it was going, what Logan studied, what they were looking forward to in the school year. John talked a little about his job, or at least, about his colleagues at that job. The food that they ate as they talked had clearly been chosen with a budget in mind, but it was quite delicious.

Logan had had very few real family dinners in his life. Logan was glad that he had been able to make this one happen for his friend, even if it did involve some false pretenses. He didn’t know why Virgil didn’t want to let his father see his own apartment, or why Virgil was only seeing his father for the holiday. Perhaps later, Logan could figure out those reasons, and help Virgil remedy whatever the problem was so that he no longer felt the need to lie to his family. But for now, he decided to simply enjoy this meal. Logan could tell that getting to see his dad and sharing the evening with him meant the world to Virgil. And that fact made Logan smile.

[ryouverua]

Trial 6 -  ”hello, world!” (6)

Time to pick up the fallen torch.

Trial: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

K.... K1-b0? This - this must be you, right?

I’ve been waiting for this moment since the beginning of the chapter 3 trial! Finally, the explanation I’ve been craving! If - if the inner voice is coming into play now - it might actually be a benevolent force, right? Maybe? At this point we just need something to keep us moving forward...

Yes!!!

..... Oops.

“And please choose the right answer this time.”

Okay okay, jeez -

K1... K1-b0? W-Why not - ?

...... remedy the situation. Not save... but fix...???

Voices??? It’s plural now? Does that include me, the player?

K1-b0! Your moment has finally come, with no more lasers or explosions required! hopefully

WAIT

WE’RE OFFICIALLY IN HIS POV NOW???

This is incredibly late game for a protagonist switch b-but okay! also oh god what does that say about Sweetcheeks’s condition -

I’m glad we haven’t completely lost Shuichi. ): He really does look like he’s not with us, though. How can we help him? I joke about how much I love this sprite, but it’s awful seeing him like this.

But apparently Shuichi’s been relegated to the sidelines entirely now, because K1-b0 is entirely focused on Jun - Tsumugi. Oh boy, I almost started thinking of her as Junko. I will not let her hide behind her characters, damn it!

Yes! Yes, exactly! She can’t have it both ways!

YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE ANNOYED YOU APPARENTLY WROTE HIM TO BE THIS WAY!!!

Ooh? Yeah, the text is changing at the bottom...

U U H   I’M SORRY YOU CAN’T JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT SO ABRUPTLY -

TSUMUGI LET HIM HAVE HIS COOL MOMENT

HE LITERALLY JUST GOT HIS MOMENT IN THE SUN DON’T JUST UNDERCUT HIM OUT OF NOWHERE 

no seriously she didn’t even give him a chance to build up momentum

The way she’s able to just dismiss him so casually like that, just completely trivializing him, is absolutely brutal. also what plotline lol -

I-I mean I’m joking, he has had a ‘coming to terms with his status as a robot amongst humans and accepting himself’ plotline! Sorta! It’s just been pretty.... well, behind the scenes. I just wished we got to see more of you and Miu together at the very least.

Wait -

He’s been the actual audience’s surrogate? That.... that means his ahoge....... really is the connection to the outside... but also, the only thing holding him back from going kamikaze??? It’s basically an outside force that’s been suppressing his free will?

Oh shit... is that why the game switched us to this POV, for that reveal? Well-damn-played, DRV3!

.....

wow this is getting worse and worse, huh

ALSO OH NO WAY TO SMASH HIS FRAGILE SELF-ESTEEM INTO PIECES

“You know all those hi~lar~ious asides everyone had at your expense about you being no more important than your average kitchen appliance? Guess what - ! They were r i g h t!”

Somehow I wonder if it would have been better if it was the mastermind’s will. At least it would assign him some sense of importance, even if that stinging feeling of betraying his friends would be there. At least he wouldn’t literally just be the subject of some nameless audiences’ whims - as it is, he’s basically been relegated to the status of ‘plaything’.

From Chapter 3 onward, when I was thinking about it, I wasn’t sure originally if I should consider it a force for good or evil - it seemed to be generally benevolent and since he didn’t take any actions against anyone, it was generally okay for me to discard it as an extension of ‘a mastermind whose goal was for everyone to be at odds with each other/kill each other’. He was always one of the most willing to cooperate with the others, too! I even considered if any of his actions had indirectly caused tension or murder, and I couldn’t find any instances where he did. But if he’s been at the beck and call of a third party, who’s been directing him for the sake of entertainment? Well, that’s a completely different story. In that context... everything makes... a lot more sense...

.... Except for his Chapter 5 actions??? He nearly got Shuichi to take him out twice??

Wait, actually - oh, this does change how I might look at him from this point on. How often would he consult the voice? Do the decisions override his own every time? Does that mean he can only make a move at the behest of the audience????

THE WAY HE PUT IT IS EVEN MORE DEMEANING

fhgh I guess that answers one of my questions

THE GIMMICK....

every production buzzword thrown in makes my stomach drop more

S-Shit the last time he had his ‘short-circuiting’ sprite was when Kokichi did his mastermind reveal in tandem with the ‘outside world’ reveal - D:

A.... Are you trying to make them feel bad for you, because I don’t think it’s working -

omg I just realized there would totally be twitter threads and reddit posts and stuff dedicated to this, and I’m trying to imagine the rage!posts that would swarm them as users ran to the internet to bitch about how ‘the robot totally isn’t responding to us anymore!’ and ‘I bet they’re rigging it so the ending goes the way they want! What a cop out ending!’ and hell, one of those more topical ‘let 👏 us 👏 control 👏 the 👏 robot 👏 you 👏 cowards 👏’

K1-B0 WAS THE CAMERA?!?!

..................................

glances at my computer monitor, then back here

ahahaha I am officially part of the outside world!mastermind tomfoolery oh god I’m so sorry everyone

Wait.... wait. Wait! So the Nanokumas’ footage is for the mastermind’s exclusive use? Really?

I... I was under the impression that if this audience was watching everyone, they’d have access to everything....

Then how different would this all look from only K1-b0′s eyes?! Did he know about Kaito’s training, for example? About Kaede and Shuichi’s practical inseparability in the first chapter? Wow, how different would this entire thing look from K1-b0′s exclusive POV?

I’m sorry what?

okay okay she’s going off on a despair rant which is - y’know, great, you do you and whatever - but I think it just turned my brain off a little bit. Like I just got catapulted back to DR1.

A-Are we really turning back to the whole ‘Junko persona’ idea? That she took on that role specifically, and by taking on the role as ‘Junko Enoshima’ she feels obligated to follow it through to the end? B-But...... but??? For a show??? That’s... no, that can’t be right, that’s weird, that’s stupid, that can’t be right....

You gotta admire her dedication to the craft I-I MEAN NO

WHAT THE HELL TSUMUGI

THAT IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH MOTIVE

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT KIND OF REASON

SHUT THE FUCK UP KOMAEDA AND DON’T LOOK SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS oh that actually felt pretty good

i say this as someone whose previous favourite was komaeda it was very love/hate don’t @ me

Oh hey, the opening music is on! Is this the big turnabout we’ve been waiting for? It’s.... so.... weird that it’s coming from K1b0 now? Also wasn’t this sort of the plot of the DR3 anime via the Ultimate Animator or -

I??? I guess??? Weren’t they all just screaming DESPAIR at Shuichi a minute ago??? Isn’t it their comments on the screen???

Inspirational and all but -

I’m GoINg to cHOkE anD DiE

ULTIMATE HOPE ROBOT

FJKGHSDKLFJ

WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME

oh shit well there’s text saying Hope now so I guess something has changed out there

I believe it’s called déjà vu.

No seriously, am I hallucinating? Is this not what led to the whole final vote in DR1 or am I going crazy? Is this... what is.... happening........???? And Shuichi has just completely BSoDed in the corner??? Like, is he disassociating right now? Where is he?

It’s interesting that she looks happy here compared to angry Junko. She looked excited earlier when K1-b0 challenged her too (her new jazz-hands!sprite, lol) too, and her voice is on the brink of. Uh. I’m just going to say it’s getting very.... passionate. Is she just that confident or...?

Oh hey their sprites mirror each other. Parallels. :D

I like how Tsumugi is having Makoto say this part ~

But this brings up a good question... how exactly is this so-called final battle going to work? If they can’t fight for the right to leave, then what can they do?

alksdfj Himiko and Maki have also been so quiet this so time - I almost forgot they were there. K1-b0 and Tsumugi are basically the only ones doing the talking and between all the cosplays it feels like there are way more people here than there actually are - which is the point, I think? It really adds to that oppressive, ‘everyone is against you four’ atmosphere.

“- DETAILS DETAILS anyway it’s happening I don’t really care, now about that special vote ~”

This -

This is literally DR1?!?!

This.... this is strange. There has to be incentive to vote one way or the other. Is she going to tie ‘vote for K1-b0’ and ‘you’ll be forced into a world where you can’t/shouldn’t exist’ together vs ‘Vote for Tsumugi′ and ‘stay inside forever’? That’s.... what happened in the others, right?

Shuichi, mentally clocked out but occasionally checking back in so he doesn’t miss anything important: Wow this is absolute bullshit

Yeah... there’s no way they weren’t going to find a way to tempt you to vote for K1-b0. Okay, lay it on us.

YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE THEM KEEP GOING?!?!

“Ugh why did I let myself get lured back into the conversation by my bitchin’ ‘Lazy Parallel World’ theme song I’m going to mentally check out again because everything hurts and I want to die -”

There.... there aren’t....??

THAT’S NOT ENCOURAGING omg I missed that catchphrase it always made me laugh

I??? I don’t know if I can trust that??? If you can literally make flashback lights to override their old memories - if you can force it on them, whether they’re willing or not - if you can delete the last 24 hours, you could make them do something again??? T-Though if Tsumugi is gone... but then again, there’s a whole team of people behind this apparently! Her being gone means nothing!

“So you cannot leave this place.” Is it? Is it literally, physically impossible to leave this place? That’s the real question. the impossible is possible all you gotta do is make it so... s o b

HOW EVIL CAN YOU GET

HOW COULD YOU NOT EVEN GIVE THEM A POSSIBILITY OF RETURNING TO THEIR ORIGINAL SELVES

WHY WOULD ANYONE MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHY WOULD THAT BE OKAY FOR A PUBLICLY TELEVISED TV SHOW

For that matter this whole damn series sounds like a snuff film, if actually people are involved. Dear lord, even if they are actually adults - and I desperately hope that if this is true, that the outside world is actually like this, and watches this for fun, then they have a ‘18+’ rule for auditions (actually considering the love hotel exists they must be at least 18 ggh) - even the survivors.... have been killed, in a sense. Their previous selves have been killed. They were dead the moment they entered the world...

So either 16 people consented to ‘dying’ in an existential sense as well as possibly a physical sense, or 16 people were kidnapped and ‘killed’ for the entertainment of the world. I.... I actually... do at least believe, no matter what, that there is a depraved audience viewing this from somewhere. There’s no way there isn’t - this feedback via comments, the scene with that kid Makoto watching this at the beginning of this chapter - those are true. And they were more than okay with the idea of these people dying for their entertainment, even the so-called winners.

You can only create new identities, not recover them... I, I dunno. Somehow that’s so much more soul-crushing than a lot of the other things that have come up this trial.

t-the way his voice is breaking skdlfjgh -

W HA T!?

WHAT THE FU -

WHY?! WHY?! WHY MUST IT ONLY BE TWO, EVERY TIME?! WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SO DETERMINED TO ONLY HAVE TWO PEOPLE SURVIVE TO THE END?!

H.... How the hell.... are they supposed to do that?! Is that how you’re doing it?! Putting the burden of the decision on them, in order to break them?!

H-HE LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE HE’S GOING TO BREAK DOWN SOBBING ANY SECOND I CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS

She is really trying to push that point, huh... but there it is. They can escape to the ‘outside world’. That is a cold comfort at this point, but...

They...... I don’t. I don’t know. I wouldn’t be able to do this - look my classmates in the eyes and condemn them. I guess this somehow managed to be worse than DR1.

K1-B0 NO

fml of course the only potential option would be students choosing self-sacrifice

I... I’m glad Shuichi is showing concern. I’ve noticed it a few times, how finally in the last chapter or so that he’s been observant of K1-b0′s well-being where the others haven’t been.

But I’m getting distracted - that’s not the point! FML I know he’s been shown those extremist tendencies towards the vague ideal of hope and destroying the despair, I - between this and the ‘destroying the school’ rampage he went on - what is he aiming for? You’re saying that you’re trying to defeat despair, but what is that? Is hope just the opposite of despair? Is despair just whatever Tsumugi says it is, so we’re immediately opposed to it, as the representatives of hope? Are you fighting for them to escape? Why is everyone surviving together ‘living despairful lives’ if Tsumugi is gone and they aren’t trying to kill each other anymore? What makes it that way? Why is this considered ‘defeating despair’? What does that even mean?

I... I guess K1-b0 would be punished anyway if they voted for him, but.... still....

Ugh, I get it. I get that kibou is hope, and that K1-b0 is therefore hope, and that we’re fighting for him to win or... something.... uhghghgh

DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE SHUICHI

This was such an uncomfortable parade of ~ideal waifus~ sdlkfjsdf especially when we were getting into the ‘super tiny/cute’ territory because I have absolutely no interest in that whatsoever also I accidentally deleted Mahiru’s cameo sorry -

.... I wonder if this would’ve been more effective if I was the target audience for this? Either way, ending on Junko was still an offsetting choice, right? Right??

..........

Wait for that matter, who was this aimed for? Who out of Maki, Himiko or Shuichi would have fallen for that? Even if you believe that Maki or Himiko have an interest in women, nothing about the types they showed or may have shown interest in the game (Maki @  Kaito, Himiko @ Angie, Tenko and hell, even Kokichi) would lend them to the girls Tsumugi just cosplayed as? And even Shuichi’s strongest interest were in Kaede and Kaito - so who is Tsumugi trying to appeal to here?!

Oh shit we’re going into a mass panic debate! Okay, okay okay - !

.... Oh. Oh boy, I have to shoot down every mention of despair. Uh, okay -

OMFG I missed the screenshot but Monokuma started shilling their merch and their website I cannot even deal with how they’ll occasionally devolve into corporate shilling it’s so good -

But!!! We’ve got better things to do than get caught up in Monokuma’s commercializing of the class trial!

MAKI

NO MAKI WHY

ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR LAST CHAPTER IS THAT WHAT’S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

omg

are you telling me

you’re not even doing this out of guilt

it

it’s spite

you’re doing this out of spite

you’re sacrificing yourself purely ou t of spite

MAKI HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE MAKI, AGAIN??? AGAIN?!?!?!”

“LET ME KILL SOMEONE SAIHARA IT’S MY DAMN TALENT FFS -”

DOES THIS SCREENSHOT SAY ‘SHUICHI LOOKS YUMMY <3′ YOU’RE RUINING THE MOMENT

okay I’m not going to feel right until I write down the new set of comments

Makiiii

my darling assassin T_T

Hope lives on!

Shuichi looks yummy <3

Well said!

Another hope loop?

Hope is contagious!

Two steps forward...

Don’t lose to despair!

Don’t tempt Maki’s fate...

That’s my Maki.

Hope must go on!

Maki, darling...

;_; I’m gonna cry...

Hope vs despair!

one vote for Keebo!

tfw you’re in despair

ALL OF THESE TEARS

Assassiiiiiiiin

I am living for these comments and I would have killed to see the comments for the Chapter 5 trial - hell, the Chapter 4 trial. that’s what let’s plays and YT comments are for I suppose -

tbh I think if that one that keeps lusting after Shuichi comes to help we’re going to need a restraining order

o

o-oh?!

AAAAAAH

NO DON’T

MAKE ME FIGHT HIM

MY ACTUAL SOUL BRO

is............... Is that -

Clair de Lune playing......?!

[tearasshouse]

Mostly vidya ramblings pt 3C

Previous post here.

Right, software time. A cursory glance at my PSN Profile will show that I’ve met my personal quota of getting the platinum in at least 10 PlayStation titles over the year, with a few PC titles sprinkled in for good measure since hey, I have access to a Windows machine again (though it’s not exactly a games machine, unless your definition of a “gaming rig” is something with a 15W Core i3 and modest laptop Radeon graphics). While I didn’t start out meaning to rank these games, I find I have a tendency to do so anyway and while I’m certainly not saying these games are outright bad, they were absolutely lower on the rung, so I’ve dubbed this part “C” (again, no disrespect to the devs or any who rate these games higher than I do; these are just my personal assessments). These are OK games.

The Darkness 2 (Steam)

Enjoyable, somewhat! I put this down like, ages ago when I picked it up for a song on PC, feeling it was too basic and uh “console shootery” at the time. Often times, having restrictions placed upon something can net great results, and hamstrung as I am by my less-capable hardware, I’ve only been picking up Steam games that could run on lower end hardware, or anything released prior to say, 2015. Surprisingly this runs at something stupid like 200 FPS on my machine with V-Sync off and all settings on High at 1080p, so go figure. Anyway, it’s a short and enjoyable shooter. I don’t know anything about the comics upon which the game(s) are based, but Jackie is a likeable character, the Darkness powers are fun enough, the locations are varied, the supporting cast surprisingly interesting and the plot was actually pretty cool too, with a major sequel hook that we’ll probably never get. 

Ori & The Blind Forest (Steam)

It sorta hovers a bit below 60fps while running at 1080p, but it’s all just a bit reductive when one spends more time looking at the framerate counter than playing a game, no? The blessing and curse of PC gaming I suppose. Anyway, as a Metroidvania the game is a bit annoying. As a piece of interactive fiction, it’s too saccharine and feels like a B-tier Dreamworks production for children which, I suppose shouldn’t be a knock against the game but I have to say --  wasn’t my cup of tea. Reminds me a bit of Child of Light by Ubisoft -- gorgeous to look at, benign if not frustrating to play (those escape sequences can piss off), and young gamers would probably find more to like in the...emotional tidbits than most adults.

Crysis 2 (Steam)

So apparently this got delisted off Steam but now it’s back up or something with EA deciding to put their back catalog on the platform or something? Anyway, like this list implies, Crysis 2 is an okay game, nothing more and nothing less. The nanosuit energy depletes a bit too quick for my liking, and you’re really made to feel like a badass only some of the times, in quick and short bursts, not unlike BJ in the new Wolfenstein games by MachineGames (any more prolonged exposure to hitscan weapons and other bullshit will quickly send you to the loading screen). Thing is, I don’t want to feel like a badass only some of the time? I mean, you put a ripped supersoldier type doing the Badass Looking Back At the Viewer Pose on the cover and I expect to be able to do certain things without stopping for a breather every 20 seconds, ya know? If you’re going to give me the power fantasy, commit to it. Or, find ways to keep the flow up and reward mastery to make players earn said fantasy (something the new DOOMs  have done and why those have been so successful). I certainly don’t envy game devs for having to balance this shit, but id Software showed you one way of how you might do that while the Crysis games and those of their ilk just feel slow and unrewarding. 

Quantum Break (Steam)

Really surprised I was able to get this running on my PC but hey, it runs on the Xbox One so how hard could it be? I dearly love Remedy’s games, even if they’re a bit straightforward at times and you get the feeling they’d rather be in the business of non-interactive fiction than games making at times. Well here is a TV show hybrid! Made exclusively in partnership with Microsoft as part of their TV & STREAMING, TV & STREAMING, SPORTS & STREAMING strategy of the 2010s. I didn’t care for the plot, nor the endless email / audiobook / loredumps scattered around, nor the characters, any of it. I will say the final stage with the super high tech offices was a delight (boy wouldn’t I love to live the corpo life in such beautiful, clean office environs). Lance Reddick was a treat as always. Peter “Littlefinger” Baelish shows up to do a thing. Yeah, it’s a Remedy joint through and through. 2019′s Control was such a highlight for me that I’ll take any kind of prototype-y take on it (and QB certainly feels like a rougher, worse version of Control, at least mechanically).

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs / Dear Esther: Landmark Edition (Steam)

These titles were certainly...things that I installed onto my PC and sat through... Yes. Look, I’m not one to dog on walking simulators, and I know the devs have faced tough times recently but I still feel these are acquired tastes and could be appreciably improved in too many ways to name. Of the two, Dear Esther is the one I’d rec because at least that one was quite pleasant to meander around in while Amnesia left me disappointed that I’d wasted my time, physically sick with its subpar performance and muddy graphics, flaccid with its stodgy plot and left absolutely disappointed that I’d wasted my time on such a bizarre and confusing payoff towards the end. Chinese Room, I mean this in the most constructive way possible: maybe try a different type of game next time.

Return to Castle Wolfenstein (GOG)

I remember putting in some decent time into the DEMO version of RtCW’s MP mode, being amazed at the time by the particle effects, with child-me just running around the D-Day map with the flamethrower out. Anyway, years later and I finally played the SP campaign. It’s maybe better than Allied Assault’s? It feels more consistently entertaining anyway. Hell I think I like these boomer shooters better than MachineGames’ recent efforts (which isn’t saying a whole lot because I find those games just merely okay). I promise you I’m not just being a crotchety old fart.

Ys: Memories of Celceta (PS Vita)

I’d been playing through this over the spring on my Vita TV, before it bit the dust eventually and I’ve been meaning to go back and wrap up the cheevos. I was a bit lukewarm with Oath in Felghana (my first Ys), but could definitely see the appeal in the series, as boss rush games aren’t really my cup of tea (ie. it’s the journey and not the destination of say, a Souls game that is the meat for me). Definitely a game that would benefit from a 60fps refresh and cleaner graphics than what the Vita can provide. I’ve already got a copy of Ys 8 in shrink wrap and have my eyes set on emulating Ys Seven or grabbing the GOG version. A game where action is king and story or character development is secondary; I would prefer more of the latter to make this more of a JRPG and less of a “predominantly Japanese action game with superficial RPG elements”.

Catherine: Full Body (PS4)

I paid $70 for this on day one and I’ve gotta say... should’ve waited for the price drop. I’m a somewhat lapsed Atlus mark, and I still hold the original Persona 5 as my no. 1 in the PS4′s lineup (with Dragon Quest XI possibly being a tie), yet I bought this knowing it wouldn’t really be for me. Why? High difficulty in a genre I don’t play, like at all, a relatively short clear time (in itself not an issue and frankly welcome these days HOWEVER...), and a somewhat unsatisfying payoff despite being a supernatural romance thriller. I bought this as seed money for Atlus’s P.Studio/Studio Zero, in the hopes that Project Re: Fantasy will knock my socks off just like the latter day Persona games have. Because in spite of the contents not really appealing to me, it’s still supremely well made, and it’s not everyday that games like these get made, so there you go. Look, if I could go back in time and put this money towards 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim, I probably would, but then the Catherine steelbook is ever so pretty... 

Tearaway Unfolded (PS4)

The OG game is one of the most charming little 3D platformer/collect-a-thons out there, and as far as children’s games (or er, “games that also appeal to children”) go, more of these and less of those please (your Child of Lights and Oris). I’d go as far as to say the OG version is better than the PS4 version, though the PS4 version is also quite good. Really, if I wasn’t going for that stupid Misplaced Gopher trophy, this would probably be an easy shoe-in for the B-tier list, but I place this demotion firmly at Media.Molecule’s feet. That cheevo is cursed.

The Missing: JJ Macfield and the Island of Memories (PS4)

I’d almost forgotten about this! If that doesn’t qualify for making the C-tier list then I don’t know what else does. I only know of Swery65′s qualities through osmosis, having watched the 2BF’s legendary LP of Deadly Premonition and the gone-too-soon D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die. He’s an interesting person with interesting ideas but crucially, as a game dev, his output is just... kinda mediocre? If not outright bad? Case in point with this game. It looks and runs like garbo; it plays like garbo; the character designs are cute; the dialogue is pretty good; there is a wonderful and gradual “twist” to the main character that was super spoiled for me when people were discussing and promoting it (like, that is my bad, but also internet discourse on any kind of entertainment media is just *fucked*); there’s a lot of semi-colons in this sentence so I’ll stop here. 

And the balls to charge like, what, $40+ for the game on PSN?? I’d gotten it for way less on a sale but in a day and age when $1 could buy you 3 months of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate and MS might also throw in a curio like this in there just to fill in the gaps, it makes you wonder if these kinds of games can ever turn a profit, especially when the end product is this jank. And these are commercial goods, make no mistake, any aspirations to being an art piece or social critique notwithstanding, so that also brings to the fore the whole aspect of pricing games, relative value, production and marketing costs, blah blah.

IF you like something different, can appreciate games made on a shoestring budget with arguably bad gameplay and technical deficiencies, but has...heart? Then look no further to the output of this man. The most C-worthy of all the titles listed here. 

[panicked-nights]

Who’s the Sucker now {Shriek Or Swim}

@aquata-the-bold

In which Aqua Stumbles upon Percy at the fair and finds out ‘he’ was ‘married’ to Attina. Now that’s a bit of quotations marks.

Of course PERCY wanted to go to a carnival. It was a freaking carnival. But at the same time, he wasn’t use to situations like this, the crowd, the people, the craziness of it all. So although the day started off with Percy in charge it was Panic that was walking around as them. The panic had set in and before they could fall into a panic attack the other, stronger boy took over but Percy’s mind was strong hovering in the front watching everything with wide eyes, talking Panic’s eye off suggesting game after game and he couldn’t help but laugh.

He must have looked like an idiot, laughing to himself every once in awhile but he didn’t even care. He wanted Percy to experience this in anyway that he could. Settling on one of those silly games to knock everything down with one simple bean bag he was left getting irritated as he couldn’t get it. His throw was too hard and too rough to simply knock all of them down. But he was determined. Handing over another 5 pounds he got his second round throwing the bean bag up and down in his hand furrowing his eyes to figure out how best to approach it.

Typically, a “Fall in Love” carnival wouldn’t exactly be up to Aquata’s speed. The entire town, along with all the tourists that visited to see the leaves change, flocked towards Main Street to see just what was set up that year. Last year’s carnival had been a complete whirlwind, a storm rolling through the town and threatening the lives of everyone it, and honestly Aquata just wanted to forget that it had even happened. So maybe that’s why she decided to head towards it opening night. One couldn’t be too sure.

She hadn’t gone with anyone, nor was she planning on meeting anyone there, Aquata deciding to just remain a small fish in a big sea rather than try to make a splash. She had been standing in line to get a funnel cake (...she had a two-a-day earlier, she could reward herself to a little fried food) when she could hear the smack of bottles from the stand next door. She leaned back, noticing a familiar, but frustrated looking face stand there as he handed over another fiver.

Sucker.

When Aquata got her funnel cake, she made her way over to the stand, pushing her way past the line that had formed behind Percy so she could stand next to him. “You do realize these things are rigged, right?” She whispered out, flashing a smile to the person who had been working.

Panic wasn’t expecting anyone to just randomly come up to him. He hadn’t gone to meet up with anyone. Wasn’t trying to meet anyone. He was in one of those anti-social moods in a way. He liked Percy’s company but that was a given. He couldn’t exactly get away from the other boys mind anyway. Just as he was about to toss the bean bag though he was stopped in his tracks by a voice and the bean bag that he had just about to throw left his hand and quickly, gracefully recaught it before turning to the girl to raise an eyebrow.

THAT’S AQUA. BE NICE!

He almost wanted to cringe at the loudness of Percy’s voice but he was good at hiding that. “It can be, but there’s also a certain place you can hit it that will just knock it down and I’m determined to get it.” Panic explained before turning to Percy in his mind.

Is that nice enough???

Ehhh, not as nerdy as me

Yeah i’m not as nerdy as you.

Well if i have to be you, can’t you be me??

Uh- not as easy?

Hmm, this was weird.You see, the look that Percy had given Aqua has he turned to her led her to believe that maybe he wasn’t expecting to see her. Which, fair enough, Aquata wasn’t the type that screamed ‘goes out to a carnival and approaches someone’, but that wasn’t the point.

The point was that this was weird, and Aqua was watching him.

“Alright,” Aqua replied, turning her gaze to look at Percy, “You think you got it all figured out, prove me wrong then.” Her head nodding towards the stack of bottles that the man had just set up. “Knock every single one of those things down.” She challenged with a smirk.

“I never said i have it all figured out, just that I know there’s a way to beat it. Like the peach baskets you have to throw it from the side or the rope ladders you crawl up it placing weight opposite.” Panic explained.

I said awkward you dork.

I don’t do awkward.

She only knows us as awkward.

Ugh.

“But I will try to knock it down. And I’ll get it.” And now he had to. That was for sure. Aiming for the centre triangle again he managed to only take off the top piece before the worker reset it again and he let out a small huff.

Can I try?

Yeah sure. Might be easier like this anyway.

Closing his eyes for a second Percy remerged tossing the bag up and down. “See I’m pretty sure you have to aim low on the triangle cause then you knock the two on the bottom over.”

Damn, okay Percy. See, this is what Aqua meant about not knowing what the fuck was going on with this boy. When she had run into him at the lake, he did not seem like the argumentative type. Instead, turning whatever Aqua had said into a joke, or responding with a little quip about something. But now? He was trying to defend what he had said, and further prove Aqua wrong.

It was weird, and Aqua was determined to get to the bottom of it.

When he threw the bag, Aqua stayed standing there with her arms crossed, letting out a small laugh as he failed to knock them all down. Told you, she thought to herself as he closed his eyes. “Alright, if you’re so sure then why didn’t you do that the first time?” She retorted, looking back up to him. “Like I said, it’s rigged, there’s a small lip on the stand that you can’t see from here that prevents the bottles from rolling off.”

“Is there? Damn.” Percy stated with a little furrow of his nose. With the lack of time in this world you would think he was an idiot and he could be. But in the end of things he knew how to be Panic. Have the same confidence, have the same swagger and knowing Panic didn’t have that of him, Percy needed to prove that to the girl. “Either way it’s still winnable, I know it has to be. Whether or not it’s a small chance or whatever.” He stated at her with a raised eyebrow.

If there was a lip then he just needed enough force to knock everything off. Clutching the bag just as tightly as Panic had throwing it forward knock straight in the center watching as the bottles slowly rolled off and quickly he turned to Aqua. “Ha! See i knew it was possible.”

Oh yeah you could magically do it. I so warmed everything up for ya,

Nope that was all skill.

It’s called getting your body ready for the motion

Oh shush.

Aqua was beginning to watch him very carefully now, any movement, any facial expression that he posed just to see. Maybe Percy was just a weirdo who was hot one minute and cold the next. But with a secret life of her own, Aquata definitely knew what it meant to hide this second life of hers. So maybe Percy was hiding something...maybe he wasn’t, Aqua couldn’t be too sure. All she knew though was that she was going to be a little bit on guard with him...just in case.

She watched then as he threw the beanbag, this time making a powerful connection with the bottles to the point where they did all fall off the stand. Her arms came out from the crossed position they were in as she clapped a bit as the man walked over to hand him his prize.

“Fair enough, you proved me wrong.” She laughed out, “Congratulations, you’re one of the few who has.” Another smirk present on her face as he got visibly excited about winning.

Taking the stuffed fish that he had won Percy grinned. “Next time don’t doubt me.” He teased, it was a little sassier than him normally but he was trying his best to tie in his and Panic’s personality. “First to prove you wrong while swimming and now with a carnival game. Whatever will I prove you wrong with next.” He stated nudging her careful not to disrupt the funnel cake in her hands.

“Are you here with anyone?” He questioned looking around just incase. He didn’t want to pull her from anyone but the company was nice that much he did have to admit. Backing away from the stand he murmured a thank you before turning to Aqua again.

“Now I don’t know if you proved me wrong with the whole swimming thing.” Aquata mused, rolling her eyes a bit as she turned away from the stand and began walking. No point in staying when Percy had already won a prize. “If anything you only further proved that you can only tread water.” She lightly teased, taking a bite of her funnel cake before holding it out to see if he wanted to grab a bite off of it.

At his next comment though, Aqua raised an eyebrow. He was just making this too easy for her. “My my, Percy. First you ask me out on a date to dinner, and now you’re asking if I’m here with someone? Subtlety is not your strong suit.” She teased once more, the smirk once again present across her face.

“Yeah… we’re going to wait on that one before I actually need you to save me or anything like that.” Percy teased shaking his head. Sure Panic could swim but they didn’t need any other potentials to make her suspicious. Panic could already feel it under his skin that she saw them differently. “Treading water is basically swimming. Like I would survive if I was thrown in.” He defended. Much like Panic had defended himself earlier. When he was offered some he reached out taking a piece. Letting out a sigh at the taste knowing it had been so long since he had had one.

Coughing as he choked on his funnel cake Percy shook his head before laughing. “Considering you’re the one still connecting those dots maybe I should be saying that you aren’t subtle? That’s how you wanna see it huh?” He teased laughing awkward at himself.

Aqua just shook her head as Percy spoke, “No, uh-uh, no way.” She mused, moving the funnel cake back in front of her body so she could take another bite of her own  before speaking. “Treading and swimming are not the same thing. One is a sport, the other is something that is a natural instinct so you don’t drown.” She laughed out, knowing that if he were to ever actually try to swim that she would most likely need to dive in and save him.

Okay, so maybe she felt a little bad that he started to choke on the funnel cake, but he left the door wide open for her to say something like that. It was just too perfect. “What can I say? I’ve always been told that I’m the honest sort.” One hand extending out as she shrugged her shoulders. It’s not like she ever had a problem with it. Better to be honest then try to dance around a topic.

“One can also be a hobby and treading water could be a hobby. Doesn’t have to be a sport all the time.” Percy wasn’t even sure what he was arguing at this point. He just wanted to make a point. Even a silly one at that. “Natural skill, begging me to be on the team don’t you rememeber?” He added for good measure.

“That you don’t and yet it’s still really cool you don’t.” He found himself liking that she was so honest. It was refreshing. “And one that obviously that wants to spend time with meeee.”

Really?

Really. She’s fun to be around, come on.

Fineeee.

Okay, Aquata had to laugh at that one. “A hobby? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” She replied, continuing to laugh out, bringing her open hand to cover her mouth as she laughed. “I don’t think I have ever met anyone that actually finds treading water enjoyable.” Where had this guy even come from? “Never did I once beg for you to be on the team. Think you might have tried some of that memory water because clearly you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He actually might have been the first person to ever tell Aqua that her honesty was cool. Most people got pissed about it because they never wanted to hear the truth. They’d rather be lied to than hear the truth if it meant some of their feelings were spared. Which was bullshit. “Woah, who said anything about wanting to spend time with you?”

“Well mark me down as the first.” He stated with a laugh. “But not really but really cause that’s all that I can do.” Percy stated nudging her arm gently. “Until I actually learn to swim then I’ll haave to count it as enjoyable. And you so did. I think I remember something about them not wanting to look desperate and still needing to try out.”

“You’re the one that came up to me. Thank you very much.”

You’re an idiot.

Your idiot.

I can’t even leave you alone again, Can I?

Nope.

Aquata laughed at that one, not like the laugh that had happened a second ago when she was so shocked that it just escaped her, but because hearing him ramble like that was actually kind of comical. A little refreshing at that. “You’ll learn in due time, don’t you worry.” Aqua mused, giving him a light pat against his chest. “Yeah, that was just so you wouldn’t start crying in the middle of the lake.”

With his next comment though, Aqua raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, because it looked like you were going to take that guy’s head off with the beanbag. You were getting so pissed. Obviously had to go in there and stop it before it happened.” Which she still was curious about. It was a carnival game...one that he was trying very hard to beat.

“I’ll have to take swimming lessons at some point. Don’t want to rely on you to save me all the time.” Or even Panic. The boy leaving him for even a few days was enough to make Percy realize that he needed to fend for himself. Or at least some basics. “Ouch. You wound me.” He teased reaching out to steal another piece of her funnel cake.

“I wasn’t that pissed. Just frustrated. I only downed like 10 pounds. I’ve seen worse for games like this.” He spoke nodding his head as if he was sure of himself. And he was. Panic was frustrated but he hadn’t been angry or frustrated enough to take off someone’s head.

“I know a pretty good teacher if you’re ever in need of one. Just let me know and I’ll hook you up.” That teacher of course being Aqua, because well, why the hell not? It’s not like it wasn’t what she did during the summer months anyway. What was another person added to the list. “Oh shut up you wuss.” Aqua mused, jerking her funnel cake to the side as he reached off and ripped another piece.

“A likely story.” Aqua replied, rolling her eyes a bit more. While he might not have actually been ready to throw that beanbag hard enough so it decapitated the poor man, it definitely was a little bit more frustration than what he was leading on. “You’re just trying to change topics to get out of the fact that you asked if I came with anyone.”

“That teacher wouldn’’t happen to be you would it??” Percy questioned with a raised eyebrow before pouting at her as she moved the funnel cake away from him. “I am not a wuss…. I’m just sensitive.” He joked winking at her.

“How am I changing the topic? Isn’t it usually the person who hasn’t answered who wants to avoid it?” He questioned using general statements because all he knew was how others worked. The simplicity behind them. Everyone did little things that meant something and that’s all he had to go by to understand them. “I just wanted to make sure your pity to stay with me wasn’t keeping you from someone.”

“Nope, it’s actually my old swim coach Greg. He has a real talent you know. Used to be a drill sergeant, but I’ll tell him to go easy on you.” Aqua lightly teased, her tone a tiny bit serious though just to see what he would say. “Him and I are still really close, here I’ll give you his number so you can get in contact with him.” She added, pulling her phone from her pocket as she balanced the funnel cake in between her arm and her chest. “Sensitive...a wuss...it’s all the same.”

Aqua scoffed a little bit at that one. “I do believe that I did answer the question. I came over because you looked frustrated, simple as that.” She added with a shrug. “Nope, came with me, myself, and I. Though I’m sure that my sisters are running around here somewhere. Oh well.”

Laughing Percy shook his head. “Do you want me to get killed? Me and a drill sergeant?” That sounded like a terrible time he was sure. At most Percy would start stuttering, Panic would take over and it would be a mess. That he was sure of. “Nopeeee it’s not, people like sensitive guys a wuss, not so much.”

“Oh yeah? Just for the funnel cakes then?” He teased. “Big family? Or just a couple sisters?” He asked kind of understanding it. Although him and Pain didn’t speak, Panic was like his brother and by proxy so was Pain.

Aquata let off a small scoff. “Would you relax, he wouldn’t kill you even if he actually existed.” She spoke, giving him a small shove with her free hand, wondering  if he’d actually pick up on the last part of that sentence and realize that it had been a bluff all along. Because he hadn’t exactly sounded like he caught on this time.

“Funnel cakes are the best part of this damn thing, I’ll argue that with anyone.” She replied, taking an additional bite of her funnel cake before throwing the now empty plate away. “Big family. I have 6 other sisters.” Which, she was half expecting him to be like wHAAAA because that’s what everyone reaction to said statement was. Aquata was used to it at this point.

“SO you did mean you!” Percy exclaimed with a grin.

Of course she did.

I didn’t know, she could easily been telling the truth.

Dude why wouldn’t she teach you.

I don’t know.

“No no, no reason to argue it’s literally the best thing. Behind the stuffed fish.” He teased waving it around as if to show it off. “Damn, good thing or bad thing?” He couldn’t tell if it would be fun or not. Was that too many people to be in the same house with.

Aquata gave him a bit of a look. It was one where her eyebrows were raised like she couldn’t actually believe that he was just catching onto that. But also, there was a bit of a smile on her face. Because it was funny how over the top he had reacted to something so simple. “Uh, yeah, I  meant me.” Aqua laughed out, shaking her head before her gaze fell to the sidewalk.

“Can’t forget the bloody fish.” Aqua teased, snatching it out of his hand as he waved it around, holding it in front of her face and mimicking it swimming. “A little bit of both to be honest.” She shrugged, handing him the fish back over. “Annoying because it is literally an entire house full of girls and they will get on your nerves. But good because you always have someone on your side.” And honestly, Aqua wouldn’t trade that.

Laughing percy nodded. He knew it was almost childish that he had just recognized that but in a way he was childish. He didn't know what he was doing he had watched but never put everything into practice.

“nope this is my favourite fish now. It has been determined. Just need to give it a name.” He teased flicking the fish as she made swim. “yeah that I can understand. My brothers a pain in the ass. But there's something about knowing there is always someone on your side.” and he wasn't talking about pain. But panic instead.

Dork

You know it's true

Doesn't change the fact you're mushy as fuck

Doesn't change you're a decent guy.

“Oh, do you have an entire collection that makes that one your favorite then?” Aqua teased yet again, raising an eyebrow at him as she spoke. Not that she had any room talking considering she still had a stuffed seahorse that she slept with every single night. “Hmm,” She hummed, staring at the fish. “He looks like a Dudley to me.”

Brother? He had never mentioned anything about a brother before. Though then again, she hadn’t ever mentioned that she had sisters. “Did he come with you or is he still back home?”

“obviously. I've got… stormy and oh God what are they other starfish Pokemon. Is stormy even one?” as soon as he realized he couldn't remember all the names he looked defeated. Like his life was a shame from not remembering something as insignificant from his childhood.

“Nah he's here. Couldn't really leave without him. He was the one that suggested Sywnlake too.” Percy explained though he did wish that he could leave hum behind though.

Yeah to get rid of me and my actual brother

Sorry

It's .. not cool but your fine

Aqua had to stop walking now. Stormy? Was he serious? “No, Stormy isn’t even a bloody pokemon. There are literally a hundred you could pick from and you go for Stormy?” If he was even thinking Starmie that would be okay, but it wasn’t a bloody fish so it didn’t make sense! Still, as much as Aqua was offended by that little notion (she took her water types seriously thank you very much), she continued walking.

She nodded her head though, wondering if she was going to ever run into said twin. “You two as close as they say twins are? Two of my sisters are twins and they’re thick as thieves.”

“What’s the star one, the purple one?” He literally couldn’t remember at the moment and he just was blanking on it. “Would garados be better? Or uh magikarp? Though this fish is a lot better than magikarp.” Those two he at least know and that was a good feeling.

“Sometimes I guess. Sometimes it’s like he’s an idiot.”

Watch it.

It’s true

Unless it gets back to him and I have to deal with it.

Oh true.

“I cannot talk to you anymore.” Aqua began, shaking her head and holding her hand out as if she was stopping him from even speaking. “The purple star is Starmie, yes Gyrados is definitely better than Starmie, and no, Magikarp is literally the most worthless pokemon you could have on your team.” God, was she seriously having this conversation right now? When had she become this person?

“Don’t we all think our siblings are idiots though?”

“Then by all means.” He teased gesturing his hand for her to leave him. “Well I know that but in terms of the name in general, Starmie is cute Gyrados is just there.” He shrugged as if it didn’t even matter much. “Worthless turns into crazy powerful though one day.”

“I guess so”

If Aqua had been feeling particularly heartless today, she probably would have taken Percy up on his offer and just walked off. But honestly, he hadn’t done something incredibly revolting to piss her off that much so it was fine. She’d deal. “Starmie is not cute it is incredibly lame.” Aqua spoke. “It’s name literally says what it is.” At least Gyrados sounded badass.

“You only guess so?

“And really so am I so I’m proud of that nickname and it shall be this fishes name.” Percy stated more then happy with that declaration. “But look at you, you stayed.” He teased poking her shoulder before resting his arm over her shoulders in a teasing way almost testing the waters.

“Well there’s thinking and knowing.”

“You are impossible.” Aquata muttered shaking her head at how proud he looked at the little fish in his hand. Probably spent more money trying to win the thing than it actually was worth. If he was proud of it though, then whatever. “Because there’s no one else to hang out with.” Aquata teased back, glaring back especially after he placed his arm over her shoulders. She didn’t really care though so it could stay. For now anyway.

If he tried anything else she’d beat the shit out of him.

“Well, I know that all of my sisters are idiots.” She laughed out, really only half telling the truth. Half of them were idiots. The other half were fine.

“Yeah but you’re still friends with me.” And for that little fact he found it hilarious. She could act like she had a tough front but she was still just as sweet and he felt bad for the people that didn’t realize that.

“Are you one of the older girls? Or where are you in the sister birth order?”

“Who said anything about us being friends? I only tolerate you, you are surely mistaken.” Aqua laughed out, but really he was slowly starting to become somewhat of a friend to her. Which was nice. She got along well with her teammates, had a few girlfriends outside of the team that were in her major, but other than that, Aqua really just kept to herself. People couldn’t handle her snark and turned her away just as fast as they met her.

“Number five. So one of the younger ones. Doesn’t really feel that way sometimes though.”

“Nope we’re friends. I’m making that statement and now it has to be true.” He stated with a small smile using the arm that was around her shoulder to give her a little squeeze. Either way it was nice to be ‘friends’ with her. At least that’s what he considered and wanted her to consider too.

“Really? So… wait how old are you anyway?”

Aquata rolled her eyes, shook her head even, but there was a smile on her face. To know that he was actually willing to stick around even though she could be super blunt did mean a lot. Told her that he didn’t really care, or that maybe he never took her words too seriously. Which, yes, Aqua dished the truth, but it was only to save face from actually lying. Hurt less that way.

“21. Turning 22 this month. It goes 26, 25, the twins are 23, then me, 19, and 17.”

“Okay so you’re a couple years younger than me. I was starting to think they were all going to be in their 30’s or something like that.” He could only imagine then at some point it was being like mom’d by her sisters with the age gap between some of them. “When’s your birthday. I’ll get you a cake.”

“God no.” Aqua laughed out. “Though Atty acts like she’s in her thirties. She’s the oldest.” She quickly clarified before rolling her eyes again. It didn’t feel like the two girls were four or five years apart from one another. It felt like there was a  decade and a good majority of the time, Aqua couldn’t stand it. She’s been getting a little better recently though. “September 20. Only if you bake it yourself Mr. Chef.”

“The girl that’s 26? I guess when you have a bunch of younger siblings with a ten year difference it happens.” Though if Aqua was 22 anyway it was a lot shorter of years. But he could only guess that’s what it was. Laughing at the thought of him baking a cake he shook his head.

“You just stated it yourself there though, I’m a cook not a baker, but I can do my best for your birthday that’s for sure at least. I don’t promise it will be fancy.”

“That’s the one.” Aqua muttered, throwing up a pointer finger. “Yeah, but she doesn’t have to mom every single one of us. For God’s sake she’s only a few years older than me.” It was the only time that Atty really ever got on Aqua’s nerves, but it was enough to set her off. You’d think the redhead would have learned by now? “I expect nothing but fancy are you kidding me?”

“What’s her full name?” Atty just felt familiar and maybe he had run into her before. That’s why Aqua felt familiar in the beginning. “No she doesn’t. But at least she cares right?” He asked gently as he looked over her. “How about fancy but messy?”

“Attina? Why…” It was bizarre of him to ask something of the sort, unless of course he knew her from somewhere else. Now Aqua only grew more curious, and wondered if maybe she had just made a fatal mistake talking about her sister. “Yeah, sure, whatever.” Her gaze moving back in front of her. “Well that’s abstract, so I’ll take it.”

Blinking Percy let out a soft laugh. Of course it would be. Not that was a bad thing but at the same time of course he had some of the memories from Panic though it was a lot weaker. Shaking his head though he wasn’t sure it was a big deal to explain if she didn’t ask. “Okay so I’ll make that cake for you then.”

Percy began laughing and Aqua stopped walking. She shrugged off his arm from around her shoulders and crossed her arm over her chest. No matter if she wasn’t the biggest fan of Atty’s, she was very defensive when it came to others and her sisters. “You gonna explain to me why you’re laughing then?”

Percy held his hands up defensively immediately. “Nothing bad don’t worry. I just knew her in the whole greek fiasco that happened.” He wasn’t sure he wanted to explain the whole thing. Was it even a bad thing. “Wait do you know the whole thing or was it a lake thing for you?”

“Wait…” Aqua began, her face squinting up as she began trying to pull together different thoughts. “How exactly did you know her? Were you two like in the same house, or….?” She had known that Atty was with someone in the Greek world...had never exactly spilled what his name was, but holy shit if it was Percy? “And yeah, I remember it all. Didn’t drink the koolaid.”

Smiling innocently Percy bit the inside of his cheek gently. This just got a little awkward and it wasn’t even his fault or a bad thing. “How awkward would it be for our friendship if I said I was married to her in that life?” He even added the innocent grin for the hell of it.

Aquata instantly started laughing. Oh this was good. Real fuckin’ good. “I may never be able to look at you the same way again.” Aqua managed to get out between laughs, finally beginning to slow down her breathing and come back. “It’s fine. That whole life was all sorts of fucked up. I really couldn’t care less that you were with my sister. I just don’t want to hear any details about it.”

“Oh come on. I’m still me.” Percy stated though he laughed with her. Of course he would be friend’s with Attina’s sister. “Do you really think I would tell you details? I think that’s a line I know not to cross already.” He mused shaking his head at her.

“Yes, but now that I know that you were with my sister?” Aquata fake shuddered, as if even the thought made her sick. Though really, it wasn’t that big of a deal. If anything, she was kind of excited (in a mischievous way) to see how Atty would react to this news. “Hey just making sure that you’re not as stupid as you look.”

“Not- I just-Aquaaaaaaaaa.” Percy whined nudging her shaking his head. He couldn’t say not like that because Panic had kissed her. Of course it would be Panic and it wasn’t like that because it wasn’t him per say. But in the end was that any different. “Wow, harsh.”

“Don’t ‘Aquaaaaaaaaa’ me.” She replied sternly because it was pretty hysterical how uncomfortable he actually seemed about it when Aqua really didn’t have a care in the world one way or the other. “You were the one that was with her. Not my fault.” Her hands moving up in surrender. “I’m starting a new rule. Every time you say that I’m harsh, you owe me something.”

“I will Aquaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, you.” He whined again leaning his head down to rest on her shoulder. “It was the greek world, I don’t even know what happened in that world to let it happen. Or what not and everything and I just, maybe not.” He shook his head blushing slightly. “What would you want?”

Aquata couldn’t help but laugh as Percy continued to whine. She looked down at him as he rested his head against her shoulder, raising an eyebrow at him. “Why are you so freaked out about this all? It’s seriously not a big deal. I was engage to a guy that has a girlfriend in this world. It really doesn’t mean all that much.” She added with another laugh. “Hmm, I don’t know. Money. A meal. Anything really. I’m willing to negotiate.”

“I guess not, It just feels weird I guess when I think about it. Who were you engaged to?” He was just too curious to let it go by. Did he know this person? Why was he suddenly protective. “Well I’m not giving you money, I could use you as a test subject for new dishes?”

“Roger Radcliffe. He wasn’t all that bad.” Aquata mused with a shrug. He stayed out of her way, she stayed out of his. It’s not like she actually was looking to be in a legitimate relationship with him. “Why does it matter?” She questioned, now turning back towards Percy with a raised brow. “Deal.”

“That’s good, I w- it would have sucked to be stuck with someone horrible. I still hope I made your sisters time easier.”

I definitely made her time easier I’m a gentleman

You also made out with her

No real difference and what not.

But hey it seemed like a good enough reason to worry and it was a pretty legit reason too worry too. And he would stick with the story. “Alright can I get this in writing so you can’t bow out of it?”

Aquata raised a brow at Percy, unsure what exactly he was trying to get at. Yeah, obviously it would have sucked if she was with someone horrible. Hence why the person would be considered horrible. “Think you did. Haven’t heard her say otherwise so you’re in the clear.” She mused, giving him a couple light pats against the chest before turning in his direction.

“You got a pen and paper?”

“Yeah?” He smiled at that thought and nodded. “I haven’t seen her since or anything so I figure that’s a pretty good thing.” It was easier to avoid whatever feelings Panic had and really he wasn’t going to push Panic to do so either. The last time it caused him to shut down.

“How about a cellphone and an electronic signature?”

“Yeah, I mean, she barely talked about you but the little bit that she did share it was fine.” The main focus on the group text that night had been Andy and Al (gross) as well as Ariel being a stupid brat. Plus, she really doubted that Atty wanted to focus on her Greek life when she was dating Paul now.

With that, Aqua pulled out her cellphone and opened up the notepad app. She typed up a quick document before clearing her throat and reading it to Percy. “On this Carnival Day of 2017, let it be known that from this point forward, any time Percy Goldthwait tells Aquata Brooke Triton that she is either harsh, blunt, rude, or a cold hearted bitch, that he must cook her a meal of his choosing.” With that, she turned the phone around clicking on the pen so that he could sign it.

“Well yeah I don’t expect her to actually talk about me. Just would prefer I didn’t scar someone…. You know.” Panic could either be nice or abrasive. It all just depended on the person. His memories were just too faded to know.

Laughing completely Percy shook his head not expecting her to take it as seriously as she did but he loved it. “Well alright that sounds good to me but blunt is one too easy and cold hearted bitch is not going to come out of my lips.” He explained though he signed it with a laugh.

“I don’t think you did so don’t you worry.” If he had, the girls would have heard about it and he would have already had an army after him. Case in point with Jim. Though she did find it a little strange that he was so worried that he had scarred her. He had remembered the event so it’s not like he drank the water and magically forgot some of it. So why was he being this concerned?

“You say that now, but you never know what could happen.” Wouldn’t be the first time someone called her that and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. After Percy signed it though, Aqua spun the phone back around in her hand, signing it herself before slipping it back into her pocket. “There, the deed is done.”

“Nah, if I ever do, count something as wrong.” Not only did Percy not swear it was more of a Panic thing. But that was just too rude for him. Especially to someone he considered his friend. It wasn’t his humor. “But see now you’re really stuck with me. Contract and everything.”

“Will do.” Though still a little odd he was making a point to say that. All people had shit days, could say stuff that was out of the ordinary or something they may not even mean. But whatever. “Oh that doesn’t mean that I’m stuck with you. Could come into effect even if I never hang out with you again. Just passing each other up on the street, I bump into you, you call me a bitch, and bam. You owe me food.”

“Nope stuck with me. Or else you’ll miss out on some interesting food combinations.” Percy stated with a laugh. “Besides how are you suppose to cash in on the food if we don’t hang out.” He added for good measure.

[rayanrooke]

Ranking The 10 Best Camping Hammocks of 2019

A lightweight camping hammock is a must-have item for ultralight backpackers and weekend adventurers. Unlike carrying a tent, a hammock gives you increased ability to camp almost anywhere, as long as you have a couple of sturdy trees to tie off. Set up and tear down are also much simpler with a hammock than with most tents.

In this article, we’ve compiled a list of the Top Ten Camping Hammocks of 2019. With so many great outfitters providing hammocks today, we recognize that choice overload is a real possibility. That’s why we’ve also included a comprehensive Buyer’s Guide and a Frequently Asked Questions section to give you the information you’ll need to select the right hammock for your intended uses.

But first, let’s take a look at the hammocks themselves:

1. Kammok Roo Double

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

The Kammok Roo Double has been redesigned for 2019. The latest version is lighter, stronger, softer, and more breathable than previous models. For those that need the flexibility to go wherever adventure beckons at a moment’s notice, this camping hammock sets the standard for elevated camping.

The material of this hammock is 40-denier Gravitas fabric. When it comes to strength to weight ratio, this fabric can’t me matched. You’ll be able to hang safely in the Roo Double with up to 500 pounds using Kammok’s climbing grade suspension system. As for weight, the 2019 version is 20% lighter than last year’s model and weighs a total of just 18 ounces.

2. Wise Owl Outfitters SingleOwl Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

 Like most hammocks, the Wise Owl SingleOwl is designed to help you fall asleep faster and sleep more comfortably through the night. It’s a great hammock choice for anyone who’s tired of sleeping on rocks and roots in their tent. This hammock uses 210T (1) parachute nylon that’s capable of supporting a maximum weight load of 400 pounds.

The Wise Owl SingleOwl is designed with triple interlocking stitching to give the seams superior strength. When unpacked, the hammock measures 9 feet long by 4.5 feet wide. When packed, it’ll fit in a 5” x 5” space in your pack. Overall, the SingleOwl weighs just 16 ounces and comes in a drawstring stuff sack. Additional items include two 8-foot nautical grade nylon ropes and two steel carabiners for hanging.

3. Lost Valley Camping Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

Made by Oak Creek Outdoor Supply, this camping hammock is a great choice for travelers, hikers, campers, or those that simply want to hang it in the jungle and marvel at the diversity of species in the trees overhead. It’s made with ultra-strong, tear-resistant parachute nylon with reinforced stitching and knotting.

In total, the Lost Valley camping hammock can support weights up to 350 pounds. With a single drawstring bag, the hammock and its accessories pack up to be portable and lightweight. The whole bundle, which includes a hammock, rain fly, bug net, two tree straps, two steel carabiners, two stakes, and two guy lines, weight less than four pounds and can be set up in less than three minutes!

4. ENO DoubleNest

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

 With enough space for two people to sit or lie down comfortably, the ENO DoubleNest is the ‘Palace in the Sky’ of camping hammocks. It boasts so much space that it can sometimes feel awkward to sleep solo in it, but it can still be easily packed into its attached compression sack to be conveniently stored in your pack.

The ENO DoubleNest sets up in seconds. It includes heavy duty triple stitched seams and is made of soft, breathable, and fast-drying material. The hammock’s 70-denier high tenacity nylon taffeta (2) can support weights up to 400 pounds. The hammock itself weighs just 19 ounces and offers of dimensions of 9’4” long by 6’2” wide. At either end, the hammock features aluminum wiregate carabiners for secure attachment to tree straps.

5. Winner Outfitters Double Camping Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

The Winner Outfitters Double Camping Hammock is another great selection for hikers and backpackers, but it’s also a great option for hanging in your backyard or on a day trip to the beach. The hammock material is durable 210T nylon that can support weights up to 500 pounds. But it’s also soft and breathable to keep you comfortable and cool for your lie.

The hammock’s material is also resistant to fading, even when exposed to sun and rain. This camping hammock offers total dimensions of 118” long and 78” wide. It weighs just 2.5 pounds when packed up and comes with polyester straps and carbon steel carabiners. These carabiners feature an E-coating surface that makes them smoother and more resistant to scratches.

6. Hummingbird Hammocks Ultralight Single Plus

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

When you’re searching for a durable and lightweight hammock, it’s hard to overlook the Ultralight Single Plus from Hummingbird Hammocks. This hammock is actually built to FAA parachute rigging standards (3) and weighs just 7.6 ounces when packed up. It’s also certified open hardware (4), which means it meets a uniform and well-defined standard for open-source compliance.

The Ultralight Single Plus is made of PIA-C-44378 T4 Certified reserve parachute fabric, nylon plastic, 1500-pound Spectra (5) cord, and military-spec bonded nylon thread. It can support weights up to 350 pounds and boasts unpacked dimensions of 9’8” long by 5’3” wide. The entire bundle includes the hammock, attached stuff sack, and attached button link carabiners.

7. Grand Trunk Skeeter Beeter Pro Mosquito Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

 For those that live in heavy mosquito country, the Grand Trunk Skeeter Beeter Pro is an excellent hammock choice. There’s nothing worse than climbing into your hammock and being tormented by those little flying nuisances. But with the Skeeter Beeter Pro, the attached bug net will keep you bite-free and allow you to get a solid night’s rest.

This camping hammock is made of 210T parachute nylon with triple-lock stitched seams and No-see-em, nylon mosquito netting. It boasts a double-sided zipper for easy entry and exit and the material is soft, breathable, and fast-drying in case it gets wet. The whole hammock bundle features two nautical grade carabiners, a starter rope kit, suspension cord, and stuff-sack for stress-free travel.

8. Therm-a-Rest Slacker Single Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

If you’re looking to slack off in style, it’s hard to beat the Therm-a-Rest Slacker Single Hammock. This hammock’s soft polyester fabric feels great on your skin and provides a subtle stretch that virtually eliminates all pressure points in the nylon. The attached stuff pocket is a great place to keep a book, phone, or water bottle as you relax under your favorite tree.

This camping hammock is made of 100% ripstop polyester, which dries much faster than nylon. Its one-piece design adds another layer of comfort while boosting the hammock’s overall durability. It can support weights up to 400 pounds and features ultralight aluminum carabiners for easy hanging. In total, the hammock weighs just 18 ounces and packs up to fit in a 7” x 10” space.

9. Hennessy Hammock Expedition Zip Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

The Hennessy Hammock is known to some as “the hammock that started the hammock camping revolution.” With its patented asymmetrical design and structural ridgeline, it’s truly made for comfort, regardless of the spacing between trees. It’s an excellent all-purpose hammock for backpacking, family camping, expeditions, kayaking, and much more.

This camping hammock is made of 70-denier high-density nylon taffeta that can support weights up to 250 pounds. The rain fly is made of 70-denier polyurethane-coated ripstop polyester and the bug net is made of 30-denier polyester No-See-Um netting. The hammock offers dimensions of 120” by 59” and a packed weight of two pounds, 12 ounces.

10. ENO Sub6 Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

The Sub6 is Eno’s lightest hammock. It is designed to embody the spirit of ultralight backcountry camping and boasts an impressive 5.8-ounce body. Although it is one of the lightest hammocks on the market, the Sub6 still retains impressive strength and security. It has the ability to support weights up to 300 pounds.

This camping hammock is crafted from lightweight 30-denier ripstop nylon and Dyneema® fiber (6) that is stronger than steel. It also features new aluminum toggles and combines with the Helios Suspension System to offer the same ease of set up you’ll find with a traditional hammock. When packed up though, the Sub6 fits well into small spaces so that you can go light and move fast.

—

Buyer’s Guide

The use of hammocks dates back more than 1,000 years and their origin can be traced to the Mayans of Central America. The hammocks of those days were most likely woven from bark or plant fibers, but their practicality quickly made them widely used throughout Central and South America, as well as in Mexico.

Today’s hammocks are arguably more practical and easy to transport than ever. With advancements in materials and fibers, manufacturers are able to make hammocks that are both extremely durable and exceptionally light. In order to help you sort through the many great options out there, this Buyer’s Guide will focus on several key factors to consider when buying a new camping hammock.

Hammock Size

The first thing you’ll want to think about is whether you want a hammock to fit just one person or that gives you the ability to sleep two. If you’re a larger individual with broad shoulders, for example, you’ll probably want a “double” hammock even if you’ll be the only one sleeping in it. When you hang your hammock, the last thing you want is for it to be pinching your shoulders toward each other when you climb in.

For this reason, it helps to go slightly larger when it comes to comfort. The caveat is that you’ll add a little more weight, but when it comes to getting a good night’s rest, the added weight is usually worth it. Because the most comfortable way to sleep in a hammock is actually diagonally, some extra width will help you get cozy in your new hammock.

When it comes to length, most of the hammocks on the market today are in the 9-10 foot range. This is designed to leave plenty of extra space at the head and feet of even the tallest individuals. Keep in mind, however, going with a longer hammock means you’ll need more space between anchor points in order to achieve a favorable hang.

Overall Weight 

The main reason you want to consider overall weight is for carrying purposes. Today’s hammocks are extremely useful for ultralight backpacking and camping. In these scenarios, most ultralight hikers and backpackers measure their pack weight down to the tenth of an ounce. But when you’re talking about covering 30 or more miles per day, for many days in a row, those extra ounces can add up to extra wear and tear on your body.

Fortunately, most hammock manufacturers know that their ideal audience wants their hammock to be light. Because of this, you can find the overall weight of a hammock easily advertised before making a purchase. On the other hand, those of you that prioritize protection from the elements overall weight reduction will be less concerned with overall weight and more tuned into the rain fly and bug net quality of a given hammock.

Hammock Straps

Because the most important part of enjoying a night in a hammock is how you hang it, it’s important to pay attention to the type of straps you’re getting (or will need to purchase) with a given hammock. Straps will make or break (quite literally!) your hammock experience, so you want to spend some time to make sure you’re getting quality.

There are a variety of ropes and straps out there to help you hang your hammock. Ideally, you want to find straps somewhere between 6 and 10 feet long. Nylon tubing is a great material for hammock straps, and you want to look for straps that can support upwards of twice your body weight, just to be safe.

Some hammocks that are frequently used by rock climbers need steel screws or mounts that attach to the rock face before you can hang the hammock in place. But for those of you that plan to hang your hammock from trees, the best straps wrap around the outside of the tree without any insertion points, so that you don’t damage the bark. Straps that are at least ¾ of an inch wide will be much less likely to damage trees than thinner straps or rope.

Accessories Included (Or Not Included!)

When you’re comparing one hammock to another, you’ll also want to look at the accessories that are (or aren’t!) included in the ‘hammock bundle’. As I mentioned briefly earlier, some hammocks are sold a la carté and you’ll need to purchase straps, a bug net, a rain fly, and anything else you need to complete your hammock set-up.

When you’re just starting out, it’s both beneficial and economical to choose a bundle that includes everything you’ll need to get started. Unless you can say with certainty that you’re not going to see a drop of rain during your camping trip, you’re going to want a tarp to go above your hammock. Unless it’s nearly the end of fall and mosquitoes are a complete non-factor, having a bug net to put up just in place is really convenient.

With that said, if your intention for buying a new camping hammock is to have a place to relax during the day before retreating into your tent after night falls, then there’s no need to have all the bells and whistles that come with a full hammock camping set-up. Make sure you know your intended use before you overpay for a full set-up that you don’t really need.

Frequently Asked Questions

There are certain best practices that will help you get the most out of your hammock’s performance and also enjoy your hammock camping experience to the best of your ability. In this Frequently Asked Questions section, we’ll answer some of the most common concerns and inquiries about hammocks and hammock camping.

What is the most comfortable position for sleeping in a hammock?

Experienced hammock campers will pretty much universally tell you the same thing. For the best night’s sleep in a hammock, you should sleep at an angle. This minimizes the amount your back bends. To achieve an optimal sleeping position in a hammock, angle your body about 10 to 15 degrees away from the centerline of your hammock.

What should I look for when it comes to trees to hang my hammock from?

Too many novice hammock campers make the mistake of hanging their hammock from what we like to call “widow makers.” These are old trees with lots of dead branches. Even if they look like they’re still sturdy enough to hang from, avoid them! Don’t even camp underneath them. Instead, look for healthy trees that are at least 8 inches in diameter. Ideally, the tree doesn’t budge much at all once you’ve wrapped your strap around it and you give it a firm tug. If the tree sways a lot, find a new place to anchor your hammock. Remember that you’re going to be hanging there all night!

How should I hang my hammock straps?

Once you’ve found a couple of trees that you’re sure will support your hammock, tie your straps at about a 30-degree angle. When your hammock is attached to the strap, the acute angle between the strap and the attachment point (if you were to draw a straight line from it to your anchor point) should be about 30 degrees. When you achieve this angle, you’ll find that you can get comfortable in your hammock without your back bowing uncomfortable. If you’re unable to achieve this optimal angle, you can always go steeper, as it’s usually more comfortable with more sag, rather than a straight, rigid set-up.

Will any old carabiner do when hanging my hammock?

No! We’ve seen way too many folks fail at their first hammock set-up because they didn’t choose the right carabiners. Fortunately, many hammocks come with their own, but if you have to replace them or choose your own, make sure the carabiners you choose are climbing grade and rated to support the appropriate amount of weight (7). Lightweight wiregate models are almost always an excellent choice for hanging a camping hammock. Certainly beware of the cheap variety packs you’ll find at a local hardware store. If it says ‘Not For Climbing Use’, then it’s ‘Not For Hammock Use’ either.

What are the major differences between hammock camping and tent camping?

Well, for starters you’re up off the ground. Perhaps the most important difference is in airflow. In a hammock, you’ll be exposed to more wind and air movement throughout the night than you would be in a tent. If you’re hammock camping in hot environments, you’ll actually welcome this added airflow. But if you’re camping in a colder climate, you’ll want to bring along an underquilt or pack a heavier sleeping bag when hammock camping. Typically, the underside of your hammock is where you’ll need added insulation.

How can I wash my hammock?

Like most of your gear, the exact recommendations for washing your hammock will depend on the hammock’s manufacturer. Many hammocks can actually be machine-washed, but you’ll need to be careful to remove any metal carabiners or other items before placing them in the machine. Most manufacturers also recommend air-drying your hammock on a breezy day, as the heat of a dryer can compromise the hammock’s material. Most hammocks can be cleaned with mild detergent. Bleach should always be avoided. But, as I mentioned, be sure to consult the exact recommendations for cleaning from your hammock’s manufacturer before starting the process!

Summary

There are actually many amazing benefits of sleeping elevated in a hammock. For our money, it’s hard to beat being rocked to sleep by a gentle breeze as you gaze up at a sky full of stars on a clear night. We hope you’ve enjoyed this review of the best camping hammocks of 2019 and we wish you the best of luck choosing the right hammock for a quality hang!

Via https://bestsurvival.org/best-camping-hammock/

source http://bestsurvivalus.weebly.com/blog/ranking-the-10-best-camping-hammocks-of-2019

[bestsurvivalus]

Ranking The 10 Best Camping Hammocks of 2019

A lightweight camping hammock is a must-have item for ultralight backpackers and weekend adventurers. Unlike carrying a tent, a hammock gives you increased ability to camp almost anywhere, as long as you have a couple of sturdy trees to tie off. Set up and tear down are also much simpler with a hammock than with most tents.

In this article, we’ve compiled a list of the Top Ten Camping Hammocks of 2019. With so many great outfitters providing hammocks today, we recognize that choice overload is a real possibility. That’s why we’ve also included a comprehensive Buyer’s Guide and a Frequently Asked Questions section to give you the information you’ll need to select the right hammock for your intended uses.

But first, let’s take a look at the hammocks themselves:

1. Kammok Roo Double

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

The Kammok Roo Double has been redesigned for 2019. The latest version is lighter, stronger, softer, and more breathable than previous models. For those that need the flexibility to go wherever adventure beckons at a moment’s notice, this camping hammock sets the standard for elevated camping.

The material of this hammock is 40-denier Gravitas fabric. When it comes to strength to weight ratio, this fabric can’t me matched. You’ll be able to hang safely in the Roo Double with up to 500 pounds using Kammok’s climbing grade suspension system. As for weight, the 2019 version is 20% lighter than last year’s model and weighs a total of just 18 ounces.

2. Wise Owl Outfitters SingleOwl Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

  Like most hammocks, the Wise Owl SingleOwl is designed to help you fall asleep faster and sleep more comfortably through the night. It’s a great hammock choice for anyone who’s tired of sleeping on rocks and roots in their tent. This hammock uses 210T (1) parachute nylon that’s capable of supporting a maximum weight load of 400 pounds.

The Wise Owl SingleOwl is designed with triple interlocking stitching to give the seams superior strength. When unpacked, the hammock measures 9 feet long by 4.5 feet wide. When packed, it’ll fit in a 5” x 5” space in your pack. Overall, the SingleOwl weighs just 16 ounces and comes in a drawstring stuff sack. Additional items include two 8-foot nautical grade nylon ropes and two steel carabiners for hanging.

3. Lost Valley Camping Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

Made by Oak Creek Outdoor Supply, this camping hammock is a great choice for travelers, hikers, campers, or those that simply want to hang it in the jungle and marvel at the diversity of species in the trees overhead. It’s made with ultra-strong, tear-resistant parachute nylon with reinforced stitching and knotting.

In total, the Lost Valley camping hammock can support weights up to 350 pounds. With a single drawstring bag, the hammock and its accessories pack up to be portable and lightweight. The whole bundle, which includes a hammock, rain fly, bug net, two tree straps, two steel carabiners, two stakes, and two guy lines, weight less than four pounds and can be set up in less than three minutes!

4. ENO DoubleNest

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

  With enough space for two people to sit or lie down comfortably, the ENO DoubleNest is the ‘Palace in the Sky’ of camping hammocks. It boasts so much space that it can sometimes feel awkward to sleep solo in it, but it can still be easily packed into its attached compression sack to be conveniently stored in your pack.

The ENO DoubleNest sets up in seconds. It includes heavy duty triple stitched seams and is made of soft, breathable, and fast-drying material. The hammock’s 70-denier high tenacity nylon taffeta (2) can support weights up to 400 pounds. The hammock itself weighs just 19 ounces and offers of dimensions of 9’4” long by 6’2” wide. At either end, the hammock features aluminum wiregate carabiners for secure attachment to tree straps.

5. Winner Outfitters Double Camping Hammock

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

The Winner Outfitters Double Camping Hammock is another great selection for hikers and backpackers, but it’s also a great option for hanging in your backyard or on a day trip to the beach. The hammock material is durable 210T nylon that can support weights up to 500 pounds. But it’s also soft and breathable to keep you comfortable and cool for your lie.

The hammock’s material is also resistant to fading, even when exposed to sun and rain. This camping hammock offers total dimensions of 118” long and 78” wide. It weighs just 2.5 pounds when packed up and comes with polyester straps and carbon steel carabiners. These carabiners feature an E-coating surface that makes them smoother and more resistant to scratches.

6. Hummingbird Hammocks Ultralight Single Plus

Click here for the lowest price on Amazon

When you’re searching for a durable and lightweight hammock, it’s hard to overlook the Ultralight Single Plus from Hummingbird Hammocks. This hammock is actually built to FAA parachute rigging standards (3) and weighs just 7.6 ounces when packed up. It’s also certified open hardware (4), which means it meets a uniform and well-defined standard for open-source compliance.

The Ultralight Single Plus is made of PIA-C-44378 T4 Certified reserve parachute fabric, nylon plastic, 1500-pound Spectra (5) cord, and military-spec bonded nylon thread. It can support weights up to 350 pounds and boasts unpacked dimensions of 9’8” long by 5’3” wide. The entire bundle includes the hammock, attached stuff sack, and attached button link carabiners.

7. Grand Trunk Skeeter Beeter Pro Mosquito Hammock

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  For those that live in heavy mosquito country, the Grand Trunk Skeeter Beeter Pro is an excellent hammock choice. There’s nothing worse than climbing into your hammock and being tormented by those little flying nuisances. But with the Skeeter Beeter Pro, the attached bug net will keep you bite-free and allow you to get a solid night’s rest.

This camping hammock is made of 210T parachute nylon with triple-lock stitched seams and No-see-em, nylon mosquito netting. It boasts a double-sided zipper for easy entry and exit and the material is soft, breathable, and fast-drying in case it gets wet. The whole hammock bundle features two nautical grade carabiners, a starter rope kit, suspension cord, and stuff-sack for stress-free travel.

8. Therm-a-Rest Slacker Single Hammock

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If you’re looking to slack off in style, it’s hard to beat the Therm-a-Rest Slacker Single Hammock. This hammock’s soft polyester fabric feels great on your skin and provides a subtle stretch that virtually eliminates all pressure points in the nylon. The attached stuff pocket is a great place to keep a book, phone, or water bottle as you relax under your favorite tree.

This camping hammock is made of 100% ripstop polyester, which dries much faster than nylon. Its one-piece design adds another layer of comfort while boosting the hammock’s overall durability. It can support weights up to 400 pounds and features ultralight aluminum carabiners for easy hanging. In total, the hammock weighs just 18 ounces and packs up to fit in a 7” x 10” space.

9. Hennessy Hammock Expedition Zip Hammock

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The Hennessy Hammock is known to some as “the hammock that started the hammock camping revolution.” With its patented asymmetrical design and structural ridgeline, it’s truly made for comfort, regardless of the spacing between trees. It’s an excellent all-purpose hammock for backpacking, family camping, expeditions, kayaking, and much more.

This camping hammock is made of 70-denier high-density nylon taffeta that can support weights up to 250 pounds. The rain fly is made of 70-denier polyurethane-coated ripstop polyester and the bug net is made of 30-denier polyester No-See-Um netting. The hammock offers dimensions of 120” by 59” and a packed weight of two pounds, 12 ounces.

10. ENO Sub6 Hammock

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The Sub6 is Eno’s lightest hammock. It is designed to embody the spirit of ultralight backcountry camping and boasts an impressive 5.8-ounce body. Although it is one of the lightest hammocks on the market, the Sub6 still retains impressive strength and security. It has the ability to support weights up to 300 pounds.

This camping hammock is crafted from lightweight 30-denier ripstop nylon and Dyneema® fiber (6) that is stronger than steel. It also features new aluminum toggles and combines with the Helios Suspension System to offer the same ease of set up you’ll find with a traditional hammock. When packed up though, the Sub6 fits well into small spaces so that you can go light and move fast.

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Buyer’s Guide

The use of hammocks dates back more than 1,000 years and their origin can be traced to the Mayans of Central America. The hammocks of those days were most likely woven from bark or plant fibers, but their practicality quickly made them widely used throughout Central and South America, as well as in Mexico.

Today’s hammocks are arguably more practical and easy to transport than ever. With advancements in materials and fibers, manufacturers are able to make hammocks that are both extremely durable and exceptionally light. In order to help you sort through the many great options out there, this Buyer’s Guide will focus on several key factors to consider when buying a new camping hammock.

Hammock Size

The first thing you’ll want to think about is whether you want a hammock to fit just one person or that gives you the ability to sleep two. If you’re a larger individual with broad shoulders, for example, you’ll probably want a “double” hammock even if you’ll be the only one sleeping in it. When you hang your hammock, the last thing you want is for it to be pinching your shoulders toward each other when you climb in.

For this reason, it helps to go slightly larger when it comes to comfort. The caveat is that you’ll add a little more weight, but when it comes to getting a good night’s rest, the added weight is usually worth it. Because the most comfortable way to sleep in a hammock is actually diagonally, some extra width will help you get cozy in your new hammock.

When it comes to length, most of the hammocks on the market today are in the 9-10 foot range. This is designed to leave plenty of extra space at the head and feet of even the tallest individuals. Keep in mind, however, going with a longer hammock means you’ll need more space between anchor points in order to achieve a favorable hang.

Overall Weight 

The main reason you want to consider overall weight is for carrying purposes. Today’s hammocks are extremely useful for ultralight backpacking and camping. In these scenarios, most ultralight hikers and backpackers measure their pack weight down to the tenth of an ounce. But when you’re talking about covering 30 or more miles per day, for many days in a row, those extra ounces can add up to extra wear and tear on your body.

Fortunately, most hammock manufacturers know that their ideal audience wants their hammock to be light. Because of this, you can find the overall weight of a hammock easily advertised before making a purchase. On the other hand, those of you that prioritize protection from the elements overall weight reduction will be less concerned with overall weight and more tuned into the rain fly and bug net quality of a given hammock.

Hammock Straps

Because the most important part of enjoying a night in a hammock is how you hang it, it’s important to pay attention to the type of straps you’re getting (or will need to purchase) with a given hammock. Straps will make or break (quite literally!) your hammock experience, so you want to spend some time to make sure you’re getting quality.

There are a variety of ropes and straps out there to help you hang your hammock. Ideally, you want to find straps somewhere between 6 and 10 feet long. Nylon tubing is a great material for hammock straps, and you want to look for straps that can support upwards of twice your body weight, just to be safe.

Some hammocks that are frequently used by rock climbers need steel screws or mounts that attach to the rock face before you can hang the hammock in place. But for those of you that plan to hang your hammock from trees, the best straps wrap around the outside of the tree without any insertion points, so that you don’t damage the bark. Straps that are at least ¾ of an inch wide will be much less likely to damage trees than thinner straps or rope.

Accessories Included (Or Not Included!)

When you’re comparing one hammock to another, you’ll also want to look at the accessories that are (or aren’t!) included in the ‘hammock bundle’. As I mentioned briefly earlier, some hammocks are sold a la carté and you’ll need to purchase straps, a bug net, a rain fly, and anything else you need to complete your hammock set-up.

When you’re just starting out, it’s both beneficial and economical to choose a bundle that includes everything you’ll need to get started. Unless you can say with certainty that you’re not going to see a drop of rain during your camping trip, you’re going to want a tarp to go above your hammock. Unless it’s nearly the end of fall and mosquitoes are a complete non-factor, having a bug net to put up just in place is really convenient.

With that said, if your intention for buying a new camping hammock is to have a place to relax during the day before retreating into your tent after night falls, then there’s no need to have all the bells and whistles that come with a full hammock camping set-up. Make sure you know your intended use before you overpay for a full set-up that you don’t really need.

Frequently Asked Questions

There are certain best practices that will help you get the most out of your hammock’s performance and also enjoy your hammock camping experience to the best of your ability. In this Frequently Asked Questions section, we’ll answer some of the most common concerns and inquiries about hammocks and hammock camping.

What is the most comfortable position for sleeping in a hammock?

Experienced hammock campers will pretty much universally tell you the same thing. For the best night’s sleep in a hammock, you should sleep at an angle. This minimizes the amount your back bends. To achieve an optimal sleeping position in a hammock, angle your body about 10 to 15 degrees away from the centerline of your hammock.

What should I look for when it comes to trees to hang my hammock from?

Too many novice hammock campers make the mistake of hanging their hammock from what we like to call “widow makers.” These are old trees with lots of dead branches. Even if they look like they’re still sturdy enough to hang from, avoid them! Don’t even camp underneath them. Instead, look for healthy trees that are at least 8 inches in diameter. Ideally, the tree doesn’t budge much at all once you’ve wrapped your strap around it and you give it a firm tug. If the tree sways a lot, find a new place to anchor your hammock. Remember that you’re going to be hanging there all night!

How should I hang my hammock straps?

Once you’ve found a couple of trees that you’re sure will support your hammock, tie your straps at about a 30-degree angle. When your hammock is attached to the strap, the acute angle between the strap and the attachment point (if you were to draw a straight line from it to your anchor point) should be about 30 degrees. When you achieve this angle, you’ll find that you can get comfortable in your hammock without your back bowing uncomfortable. If you’re unable to achieve this optimal angle, you can always go steeper, as it’s usually more comfortable with more sag, rather than a straight, rigid set-up.

Will any old carabiner do when hanging my hammock?

No! We’ve seen way too many folks fail at their first hammock set-up because they didn’t choose the right carabiners. Fortunately, many hammocks come with their own, but if you have to replace them or choose your own, make sure the carabiners you choose are climbing grade and rated to support the appropriate amount of weight (7). Lightweight wiregate models are almost always an excellent choice for hanging a camping hammock. Certainly beware of the cheap variety packs you’ll find at a local hardware store. If it says ‘Not For Climbing Use’, then it’s ‘Not For Hammock Use’ either.

What are the major differences between hammock camping and tent camping?

Well, for starters you’re up off the ground. Perhaps the most important difference is in airflow. In a hammock, you’ll be exposed to more wind and air movement throughout the night than you would be in a tent. If you’re hammock camping in hot environments, you’ll actually welcome this added airflow. But if you’re camping in a colder climate, you’ll want to bring along an underquilt or pack a heavier sleeping bag when hammock camping. Typically, the underside of your hammock is where you’ll need added insulation.

How can I wash my hammock?

Like most of your gear, the exact recommendations for washing your hammock will depend on the hammock’s manufacturer. Many hammocks can actually be machine-washed, but you’ll need to be careful to remove any metal carabiners or other items before placing them in the machine. Most manufacturers also recommend air-drying your hammock on a breezy day, as the heat of a dryer can compromise the hammock’s material. Most hammocks can be cleaned with mild detergent. Bleach should always be avoided. But, as I mentioned, be sure to consult the exact recommendations for cleaning from your hammock’s manufacturer before starting the process!

Summary

There are actually many amazing benefits of sleeping elevated in a hammock. For our money, it’s hard to beat being rocked to sleep by a gentle breeze as you gaze up at a sky full of stars on a clear night. We hope you’ve enjoyed this review of the best camping hammocks of 2019 and we wish you the best of luck choosing the right hammock for a quality hang!

source https://bestsurvival.org/best-camping-hammock/