#...wow bisch

[chameleon-on-lsd]

Tatort Luzern (Der Elefant im Raum) liveblogging part 2

lmao and now blondie is freaking out. honestly what is happening xD well well she had me bamboozled too more nice lucerne stablishing shots NERO. YOU KNOW, LIKE THE GUY'S DOG!!!!! xD why did liz know that and not reto xD how many times can the mention 'durchsuechigsbefehl' this episode xD lol getting his ass with the AGBs xD honestly what the fuck is happening frederic in his gay little striped jumper xD that was a NICE camera shot of the suspect throwing the phone and the camera doing a cut-off jerky pan towards the throwing direction. idk it looked super cool WOW corinna actually got fired (well suspended) 'du weisch eifach genau, welli knöpf du bi mir musch drucke und denn machi alles' damn bitch xD oh he got suspended now XDDDDD FULLY PUNCHED THE GUY AND DESTROYED THE CAMERA RETO. FUCK SHIT UP XDDD and back to nero, to do his own illegal shit xD yeAH you don't have your Dienstwaffe, cause you have no Dienst xD .....is he gonna get tortured DAMN XD reto does just get whacked over the head a lot er het kündet? I wasn't paying attention 'dene huere behörde futzis' xD i just love how this is SRF the casual swearing <3 I like nero's jacket I wanna pet it lmao yeah that guy is hateable but yeah, they didn't make you a murderer. and not a totschläger im affekt. you did that xD never meet your heroes. especially when you are more into the cause then they are lmao whoops. killed a guy xD love how there's always a holzpfoste to strap a person too xD 'z'abig hammer en hirnwösch im fernseh inezoge' funny things to say on a tv show DAMN bitch. you gonna burn shit NOOOOO YOU'RE KILLING THE DOG? WHAT THE FUCK why was pornos und tschutte on the same level? and rindfleisch mit sauce? what the fuck are you talking about my guy xD holy shit de SEK that all black uniform goes fucking HARDDDDDDDDD it kinda sounded like someone said 'what the fuck' in the background, but it coulda been smth else xDD it is actually raining or are they just standing there with umbrellas for the mood? XDDD cause it looked quite sunny xDD and dry lmao the car accident JESUSSSS THE PRACTICAL EFFECT GOES SO HARD???? FUCKING KUDOS LUZERN DAMN adam raczek got off so light with his fucking 'leave my gun and badge behind and disappear' I mean maybe he would have liked a blaze of glory, but come on xD aww liz promotion :D XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LIZ: 'SCHAD BISCH KEI FRAU' RETO: 'NOBODY'S PERFECT' LMAOOO AND THEY SAIL OFF TOGEHTER INTO THE SUNSET. WOW

[kimarisgundam]

My friend really adopted the NPC Wraith omg 😂

That's our new Nomad I guess, a butthole Wraith that have 0 moral values 😂. As my Netrunner, I don't really like him cos he tried to grab me while I was separated from Solo. Like how dare he try to touch my expensive jacket ಠ_ಠ

Like bisch, I know judo. My Body stat is low, but you can't avoid my Counter Throw so don't try me ಠ_ಠ

We were supposed to interrogate him, but we ended up having an emotional meltdown and arguing with each other cos of Nomad's death

And I guess my Netrunner and Rockerboy were making a scene cos he's trying to justify why he chose my Netrunner over Nomad, but my Netrunner is saying she can't forgive him for making her leave Nomad's body behind...

He basically laughed at us, called us sentimental losers, then asked if we are hiring ಠ_ಠ

According to him, reasons why we should hire him:

He doesn't care that we killed some of his pack members cos "F them", they stuck together cos of convenience

His pack is dead. As the only surviving member, he "inherits" all gang vehicles belonging to his pack (it's damaged though, he needs money to fix them)

The Wraiths have reputation, so driving with his vehicles deters other Raffen Shiv from attacking us. And he can negotiate with his gang to help us out on jobs (for a cut)

Our nomad just died. He doubts her family will stick around the city, so unless we find a replacement we won't have an armoured vehicle anymore

He doesn't mind working in the city and he said Exec looks like he needs a driver/bodyguard

He and Nomad go waaay back. He was exiled together with Nomad's sister. He's sure she would vouch for his vehicle combat skills if she was "not full of bullet holes right now" (wow rude ಠ_ಠ)

Exec asked him if he would hesitate if asked to shoot a civilian. He asked "do you want me to be discreet, or make it flashy as a warning to others?"...

Exec was immediately like "Hired." and I'm like wtf do we need to have a team meeting about this ಠ_ಠ?? This Wraith is unhinged, but my Netrunner is too emotionally unstable to protest now... I just want Nomad back ;_;

(Rockerboy doesn't want Wraith on our team. He wants to beat him up for joking about Nomad's death and for indirectly causing this mess)

[fidelishaereticus]

im sorry everyone. im sorry sometimes i’m rll enthusiastic abut things and people and then just drop them like they’re hot and ignore the shit out of everything and act like i don’t exist and you don’t exist for maybe 5 some months & then just pop up out of nowhere like HEY FREND I READ THAT FIC FINALLY or OH REMEMBER HOW U ASKED ME ABT SKYPING LIKE.......84 years ago haha i think i might have time now. im.....i dont want to be this way. pls understand that i don’t want to be this way. i want to say im getting better but?? am i??? i haven’t been collecting data objectively idek man.

but pls believe me when i say i care abt something or about you. i don’t say it if i don’t mean it. i do not do that thing. i just....lead a very scattered existence and im sorry abt that

[local-ground-apple]

Ok, but it is so funny with malleus attempting to woo the MC with a mating dance is since it is a ‘mating’ dance it was probably, in his mind, at least somewhat erotic. He really did the dragon equivalent of a sexy pole dance for his crush and got ‘wow neato’. And malleus had to do it his dad and his son watching the whole time because a prince isn’t allowed privacy.

I wheezed at the pole dance comparison😄😄, but yes anon you’re right.

You either see his dance as the one in How To Train Your Dragon or well as pole dance, nothing in between i guess, 

Well, Malleus had to resort to what he thought would work immediately (he was mistaken) and he went for mating dance. Yes, he was that desperate after you had turned down each of his gifts. 

GOSH, I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT LILIA AND SILVER WOULD BE PROBABLY WATCHING THIS 😄😄😄

Let’s just say Lilia not only wheezed but also face-palmed mentally and was like: “why didn’t you listen to me, bisch?”

Silver would be well aware of what Malleus is, hmm, doing, but he would pretend he’s not seeing this. Perhaps, someone could have educated you about dragon culture

[miyaniacs]

I just read your post about an s/o who has muscle and is insecure about it. butttt could you do one with an s/o who works out but cant get results? and is insecure about it since they literally have a volleyball god boyfriend. ahaha thank you in advance if you write it! 🥺❤️❤️

Heyyy ✨❤️ i tied my best and did some research of what could be the reason why someone don't gain muscles - most of it is in Kuroos because he's the real nerd out of the three haha 

But keep in mind that this is nothing to be insecure about - yes it’s frustrating but you’re still an amazing person ❤️✊🏼 

HC S/O is insecure because they can’t gain muscles 

Bokuto 

Having a boyfriend who gets the bills paid by doing sports is cool yeah 

Dream coming true 

But also he’s ripped 

And you are healthy and active and working out …

But you don’t look like you are? 

You just don’t gain muscles 

So one day you decided enough is enough 

There has to be something you haven’t tried out yet so you decided to ask your baby owl 

“Is it because of something I said?? I’M SO SORRY IF I SAID ANYTHING THAT MADE YOU FEEL INSECURE -”

“No no Baby it’-”

“Baby you’re so beautiful you don’t need to change something about your body!“ 

“KOU!“

“…yes?“

“you did nothing wrong baby. I want to do this for myself. I want others to see how hard I work out… I want us to match:(”

“But baby… I don’t care if you don’t look as fit as I do.. I know that you can easily kick my ass“ He tilts his head to side

“Kou, I know you do - you’re just perfect - but I really want this…and I feel like nothing I do helps me gain muscles … “

“Okay .. mhhh … how about from know on we both stick to my meal plan? Obviously you don’t need to eat as much as I do but just so you get the right nutritions! All those supplements WONT help if you don’t have the right base already! OH and I can come to the gym with you next time and see if I see anything you could improve? I think you’re probably too afraid to increase the weight incase it would be too heavy and you make a fool out of yourself. SO when I’m with you - you don’t need to be afraid of this baby. AND you need to rest your muscles ok? AND the best way for this is getting enough sleep.“ He smiles and takes your hands in his 

“Okay kou..and I’d love too.“ You smile and kiss his cheek

“But …. You sure know that I love you with or without muscles yes? And that I don’t care about what others say?“ 

“Yes I know this baby- you’ll show it everyday“ you smile and he grabs your face, kissing you softly.

“But we still have our cheat days on the last Friday of the month“ he smiles brightly 

Just perfect boyfriend #1

Bonus: 

“baby… you really need to sleep more tho“ he pouts when he finds you awake at 2am 

“I know .. but I can’t fall asleep..“

“Ohhhh if that’s your problem we can include a small workout so you get tired from now on?“

“Kou… my muscles are already sore I wont go for a run in the evening.“

“baby.. I’m not talking about this kind of workout“ He smirks while taking off his shirt and walking over to you 

“I talk about the sort of workout that makes you really scream… the really hardcore one…“ he hovers over you and starts kissing your neck 

From now on you sleep like a baby 

Kuroo 

Sooo …. Kuroo is the equivalent to a healthy and fit person 

And you’re just .. basic? 

And yes.. you hear some people whisper why he’s with someone who’s not as fit as he is?

But you work out?? …. the comments still got into your head and you got insecure 

Sooo you started working out more,  not telling him tho because you wanted to do this by yourself 

But… whatever you’re doing your doing something wrong.. 

Alter 4 months there should be some muscles right? RIGHT?!

But there aren’t ???

So you become moody 

All those extra exercising made you tired and not seeing results just frustrated 

And Kuroo quickly noticed this and talks with you about it 

Since you know - he’s observant af and always worried about you and wants you to be happy all the time 

Because he’s perfect boyfriend #2

“Ok y/n. Tell me what’s wrong?“

“Oh nothing, I just don’t feel good“

“You know you can’t lie to me“ he sighs 

You sigh. he is right and you know it and you know that you need to put your pride aside and let him help 

“So .. technically… When someone wants to gain muscles but sh- HE doesn’t see any results.. what would you tell him to do?“

“Technically?“ He smirks 

“Technically!!!“

“Ok.. so technically- I would make sure that HE eats the right nutritions. Many still don’t eat enough because were told that eating more than what.. 1200 cals makes you fat - but to gain muscles you need to be increase your intake and stop being in a deficit. HE should make sure to increase his Protein intake and not just with Shakes“ He side eyes you “but also with actually EATING more proteins. Instead of relying on those you af first need to make sure you have all the needed multivitamins. AND if you use protein powder, use the right one - oh He should use the right one - Whey Protein has a broad spectrum of amino acids to help repairing and rebuild the muscles.“ 

“Ohhh okay… mhhh wow you really know much about this“ you mumble 

“Y/N?“

“Yes?“

“Also YOU need enough rest and sleep to let your muscles relax. You need the rest days to BUILD muscles. The hormone which is helping to grow muscles has its highest level when you sleep. And the more you stress yourself because you don’t gain them helps braking down the existing ones. Cortisol - a catabolic hormone - comes with stress and it can break down your muscles-”

“Kuroo I-” “not finished yet. I’ll come to the gym with you the next time and make sure that you lift the right amount of weight and make sure that you increase the weight. You won’t get muscles if you don’t increase it.“

“Thank you..“ You mumble 

“No need to - but come to me next time when somethings bothering you. I love you an I want you to love yourself, okay baby?“

“Okay..“ You smile and he kisses you cheek 

“Now - lets go shopping and fill the fridge with the right stuff.“

Oikawa 

Oikawa is fit

There is no one who can say he’s not 

And yes you enjoyed working out with him 

But there is like NO GAIN?? 

And it frustrated you that you’re  still normal and he’s ripped and getting more ripped everyday 

And yes you hear his fangirls making fun of you 

“Omg how can he be with someone who’s not fit at all?“ “I know right? Just a matter of time that he switched her for one of US when he sees us at the gym“

You’re sulky the rest of the day 

Not giving him the much needed attention he wants 

So he’s now clinging on you 

“BABYYYY what’s wrongggggg tellll meeeeeee“

“No it’s nothing love“

“But BABYYYYY I know there is something uppppp“ and he starts doing the worst thing ever 

He tickles you 

This bisch I swear 

After about 5 minutes you give in 

“Oka--OKAY:. I  -OMg STOP - I cant breathe“ You whine

“Noooo. Tell me then I stopppppp“ he smirks mischievously

“I want to gain muscles but I just don’t?“

He stops and looks at you dumbfounded 

“That’s it??“

„Yes..“

“baby.. first of all- your genetics aren’t made for getting muscles easily. Some of us have it harder then others and YOU can train as much as you want but you still will only get those lean muscles, because that’s just how your body is. But if you want me to help you I will gladly get your ass off the treadmill - too much cardio wont help you. And I will make you add the extra weight to kill your muscles so they get that they need to get stronger. AND YES. I - THE GREAT OIKAWA - WILL CARRY YOU IF YOUR LEGS HURT TOO MUCH!“

“Thank you baby, I’ll remember the carrying part“ you laugh but then your smile drops again 

“Whoaaa baby.. there’s still something bothering you?“

“You wont leave me for someone who looks fitter than me right?“

“OMFG WHAT?! I would never leave you because of something so stupid? I love you with my whole heart and I don’t care about this stupid things- Yes I care about it if it’s bothering you - but other than that those thought would never cross my mind“ and with said words he’s all over you kissing ever part of your skin that is exposed saying how much he loves you with every kiss. 

perfect boyfriend #3

[ghost-in-the-hella]

19 with Victoria Chase and Chloe?

For whatever reason, I can’t seem to keep chaseprice stories short! Sorry this took so long, but I hope it’s worth it. I also immediately thought chaseprice when I saw that prompt (“According to this survey, most people agree you are, in fact, a gigantic asshole.”), so thanks for being on the same page with me there :) Unbeta’d and virtually unrevised despite how long it took me to write it, so please take it with a grain of salt.

Content warnings for misogynistic insults, underage drinking and drug use, and implied attempted sexual assault. Because teens in Arcadia Bay are awful to each other.

---

Chloe hasn’t seen Rachel since the first hour of the party. She stopped even getting texts from her about twenty minutes ago. She can already feel the familiar shapes of the argument they’re going to have tomorrow morning. Chloe will accuse Rachel of ditching her and ignoring her texts. Depending on how pissed she is, she might trot out the old dead horse about being abandoned by Max and flog that for a bit while Rachel fails to keep from rolling her eyes. Then Rachel will remind her about their agreement, that they’re both free agents and maybe if Chloe acted more like a free agent and less like a cuckolded wife she wouldn’t be so pissy all the time.

It’ll go back and forth for hours with Chloe whining about her abandonment issues and Rachel claiming that Chloe’s suffocating her, and at the end of it nothing will have changed. They’ll kiss and make up like they always do, but as soon as the next Vortex Club event comes around Rachel will insist on dragging Chloe and then she’ll ditch her in a crowd of people she hates and the whole cycle will start over again.

The whole thing is fucking exhausting, and Chloe’s sick of it. 

Not as sick as Victoria Chase is, though; damn. It’s a hell of a sight: the Queen Bitch of Blackwell teetering drunkenly on ill-advised high heels - possibly only still on her feet because of the bodies of people dancing around her - and looking like she’s contemplating puking in her purse. She looks awful. 

It would be more amusing if Rachel were there to make fun of her with Chloe. It would also be more amusing if it weren’t so painfully pathetic. Chloe’s way too sober to enjoy the sordid spectacle. Being the designated driver sucks ass, especially when the literal whole point of these parties is to get wasted. 

Chloe almost jumps out of her skin when her phone suddenly - finally - buzzes in her pocket.

Rachel: U still at the party?

Chloe scowls at her phone.

Chloe: of fucking course i am

Chloe: where else would i be??

Chloe: im ur fucking dd

Rachel: o right! Srry I already caught a ride

“Are you fucking kidding me!?”

Rachel: c u 2morro tho

Rachel: 2 whales date? Not 2 early tho

Rachel: this hangover’s gona be a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch

Rachel: luv u <3 <3 <3 xoxoxo

Rachel: xxx 

Rachel: ;P

Chloe buries her phone in her pocket, fuming. She can actually feel the anger rising off of her skin like steam. Obviously there’s no reason for her to continue being a designated driver if Rachel’s already fucked off with whatever Blackwell jock or cheerleader she’s decided to rail tonight. Chloe’s free to crash on the couch tonight with the rest of the drunk losers. Pass out in the bathtub maybe. There’s tons of booze in the kitchen; she should start there. Stoners are usually in the basement; they shouldn’t be hard to sniff out. Maybe if she’s lucky she’ll find the folks who’re always doing coke in some random bedroom or office and score a noseful. It’s not like she’s got classes in the morning. She can afford to live a little, as long as she’s not actually paying for it.

Chloe starts to push her way through the crowd to the kitchen.

“Watschh where yrr fffuckin goin…” slurs a messy but recognizable voice as a hand grips Chloe’s upper arm.

Jesus Christ, Victoria’s even more wasted than Chloe thought at first glance. Her hand on Chloe’s arm might be the only thing keeping her upright at the moment, which is the only reason why Chloe doesn’t immediately tear herself away. 

“Careful, Vicky; poverty might be contagious.” Chloe attempts to pry Victoria’s fingers from around her arm to no avail.

The idiot jock standing behind Victoria laughs at that, but Victoria just looks confused. And drunk. So very, very drunk.

“Ffffug you, Chhhloe,” Victoria slurs out.

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “Wow, you must be shitfaced. That was practically my real name!” She carefully shoves Victoria back off of her arm as the jock moves to steady Victoria by holding onto her waist.

“C’mon, babe,” he says, leaning close to her ear. He grins at Chloe and winks like he thinks she’s in on some kind of conspiracy with him, which immediately pisses Chloe off. “I’ve got it from here,” he informs her.

Victoria groans something inarticulate and tries to push the jock away, but she ends up just stumbling back into his stupidly broad chest. She really shouldn’t get so drunk and wear such high heels at the same time; clearly, it’s a dangerous combination.

“Dude, I don’t think she wants to go with you,” Chloe says as calmly as she can. She really doesn’t want to get involved. She wants to get drunk and stoned and so blitzed out of her mind that she forgets all about being pissed at Rachel. She doesn’t want to get sucked into whatever drama Victoria’s got brewing tonight. But she also really doesn’t want to watch a drunk girl get mauled by some entitled meathead, even if said drunk girl is a royal pain in her ass. 

“Nah, she’s good. Just needs some fresh air. C’mon, Tori, let’s go for a walk.”

“Don’ ffffuggin call me Tori,” Victoria growls, tugging her arm out of his too-firm grip and nearly falling right off her ridiculous and undoubtedly overpriced heels. “Iss Victoria.”

The creep ignores her and tugs on her arm again, toppling her into his body once more. “It’s cool,” he attempts to assure Chloe. “We’re friends. I’ll get her home safe.”

“She definitely doesn’t want to go with you. Let her go.”

“Dude, be cool! She’s just being a bitch. You know what Tori’s like.” He holds Victoria’s wrists to curtail her squirming.

“Fuggoff!”

Chloe cracks her knuckles loudly enough to get the jock’s attention. “I’ve got better things to do with my left hand tonight than break it on your nose, but if you don’t unhand her in the next five seconds I’ll do it anyway.”

That gives the jock pause, but he doesn’t look like he quite believes her. “You wouldn’t.”

Chloe shrugs. “If you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask Logan why his nose slants to the right? Although he’ll probably lie. Ask his ex-girlfriend; she’ll tell you the truth.”

---

As Chloe guides a stumbling and incessantly bitching Victoria through the dark toward her truck, she silently curses every decision in her life that led her to this moment. It’s actually not that different from drunk-walking Rachel home after a party, except that when Victoria keeps touching her boob it’s probably accidental. Probably.

“Where’ss Nathan?” Victoria whines, head lolling onto Chloe’s shoulder and smearing a healthy quantity of expensive makeup into her favorite Firewalk shirt. Which is fine. Not like Chloe can’t just steal another one next time they have a 2010 tour. Time travel’s a thing, right?

“I have no idea where Prescock is. Surprised he’s not doing shots out of your cleavage.”

Victoria’s trying to text, but she keeps almost dropping her phone. “Where are theese bisches?” Victoria grumbles as her manicured fingers jab and swipe at the screen of her phone with the dexterity of a toddler with two handfuls of butter. “Sposdt to be my frens…” 

Victoria’s entire focus is on her phone when it should really be on walking. Chloe tugs her upright and tries to steer her for the umpteenth time. “Can it wait til we’re in the truck at least?”

Victoria grinds to a halt and finally tears her eyes from her phone. “M’not gedding into that… that…” Victoria flails at Chloe’s truck and nearly falls over. “Deathtrap.”

“You had to get a tetanus shot to live in the dorms, right? You’ll be fine.” Chloe grips Victoria’s elbow with one hand to keep her upright and wrangles the passenger door open with the other. “Go on, get in.”

Victoria glares at Chloe foggily. “Are you khhidnappng me, Price?”

“...That’s a joke, right?”

Victoria whacks Chloe solidly in the sternum with her phone. “B’cause I’ll haf you know, my frens will put your assss in jail like that.” Victoria tries and fails to snap her fingers, then stares at them as if she cannot comprehend why they are not obeying her.

Chloe rubs at her sore sternum in annoyance. “Yeah, well, maybe your ‘frens’ should be the ones getting your drunk ass safely back to the dorms instead of abandoning you and letting random creepers paw at you. Then maybe I could get my drunk on in peace instead of wasting my weekend cleaning your puke out of my truck.”

Chloe’s expecting some pushback. Victoria hasn’t even touched her truck, much less puked in it. What she isn’t expecting is for Victoria to shove her phone in Chloe’s face. “You texx thm.” Victoria reaches for the door handle, yanks the door open, and unsteadily clambers into Chloe’s truck.

“Ow, what the fuck! You want me to text your friends?”

“Tell’m yer kidnappin me.”

“Uh, okay, no, I’m not doing that. But I can text your friends if there’s someone you’d rather get a ride with.”

Chloe carefully shuts Victoria’s door and walks around her truck to the driver’s side, thumbing through Victoria’s message history. She tries Nathan first, even though she can see that Victoria’s last ten messages to him have gone unanswered.

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Nathan: whothFUCKisthis

Victoria: a good samaritan. seriously tho your friend is halfway to passed out, can you help?

Nathan: fuckoffBITCH

Victoria: god why does victoria even like you?

She tries Courtney next.

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Courtney: I don’t know, can Victoria not call my boyfriend a MAN WHORE?

“We’re 0 for 2, Victoria. What’s the name of that blonde girl you’re always hanging around with?”

“Sweetie…”

“Um, what?”

“Goddddd you’re fuckn incomph-- incump-- incompetant. Sweet. T.”

“I have no idea what you’re-- Oh.” Jesus, the girl is literally in Victoria’s phone as Sweet-T. Gaaaaaaayyyy. 

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Sweet-T: Victoria? Victoria Chase?

Sweet-T: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sweet-T: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sweet-T: Tell that bitch good luck. 

Sweet-T: Actually wait don’t.

Sweet-T: Tell her to choke.

Sweet-T: Btw Taylor lost her phone.

“Uhh, looks like ‘Sweet-T’ lost her phone. And it’s fallen into the hands of someone who completely hates your pretentious ass; no big surprise there.”

Chloe starts texting Victoria’s contacts at random as Victoria sulks. Most people don’t even respond. The responses she does get are… not encouraging.

Zach: sup biiiiiiiiiiitttcccccccchhhhhh yeah i’ll give vicky a ride ON MY DICK

Hayden: new fone who dis

Brooke: Who is this and how did you get my number? Don’t ever text me again.

Dana: I gott a ride w Jules srry

Juliet: Already back at the dorms. Good luck I guess. 

Logan: fukk that bisch wut

“Well, Victoria, looks like none of your friends are coming to help. So you can either let me give you a ride back to campus, or you can pass out on a couch inside and hope for the best.”

“What th hell djou say to them??”

“Just that you needed a safe ride to the dorms. That’s all.”

“Bullsshhhitt. You pissed them off.”

Chloe laughs out loud at that. “I pissed them off?? You pissed them off by being a gigantic asshole!”

“M’ noddan asshole.”

“Oh, no? Well…” Chloe holds up Victoria’s phone and waves it in front of her face. “According to this survey, most people agree you are, in fact, a gigantic asshole.”

Which is how Chloe ends up comforting a sobbing Victoria Chase in a stranger’s driveway and wishing she’d never been born.

---

Chloe: dude. Srsly. Fuck u for abandoning me at that fucking vc party.

Rachel: chloe?

Rachel: wat timesit?

Rachel: w happnd?

Chloe: its 3am

Chloe: and victoria FUCKING chase is passed out on me

Rachel: ur joking

Rachel: omg

Rachel: pls take a pic

Chloe: this isnt funny rach

Rachel: it’s fucking hilarious!

Chloe: its SAD.

Rachel: Wait so

Rachel: did you fuck her?

Chloe: WHAT????

Chloe: NO!!!!!

Rachel: Oh good bc I don’t think there’s enough bleach in the world to clean your soul after fucking victoria chase

Chloe: she’s drunk AF

Chloe: her friends ditched her 

Chloe: and i kinda called her an asshole

Chloe: so she cried on my shoulder until she passed out

Chloe: and now i’m trapped

Rachel: Poor baby.

Rachel: Chew your arm off?

Chloe: not funny.

Rachel: Again, totally funny.

Chloe: Srsly tho, what should i do???

Rachel: idk

Rachel: sneak out?

Chloe: we’re in my truck

Rachel: hahahahahahahaha

Rachel: of course you are

Rachel: so wake her bitch ass up!

---

Victoria Chase snores. Nothing in the world could have prepared Chloe for that knowledge. She also drools, which is unfortunate for the state of Chloe’s jacket. Not that it’s the cleanest thing in the world anyway, but still. It’s the principle of the thing.

Victoria’s normally immaculate hair is in a state of total chaotic disarray. At least half of her makeup is gone, and what remains is smeared artlessly all over her face. She smells like a brewery. Chloe’s arm has fallen asleep under the weight of her head. Chloe envies it. The sweet release of sleep would be infinitely preferable to the intense awkwardness of being conscious right now.

The moonlight paints Victoria’s face in delicate shades of pale, highlighting the refined angles of her cheekbone, her jawline, her nose. She’s snoring and drooling and messy and the most utterly awful person; it shouldn’t be possible for her to be beautiful in this moment.

And yet. And yet.

Chloe should shove her awake. She should push Victoria off her shoulder, buckle up both of their seatbelts, and deposit her safely back at the dorms (because even though Victoria’s an objectively horrible person, that doesn’t mean that Chloe is). Chloe should abandon ship, let Victoria sleep it off in the front of her truck while Chloe returns to the party and drinks until she can’t remember what Victoria looks like in the moonlight. Maybe if she drinks enough, by the time she’s sober enough to drive Victoria will have sobered up and found her own way home.

Victoria makes a sleepy sort of grumbling sound and shifts against Chloe’s shoulder, draping an arm over Chloe’s middle and snuggling close. Her hair tickles Chloe’s neck and jaw as it sticks out at peculiar angles, and Chloe wants to laugh or possibly die. There’s really nowhere else for Chloe’s arm to go, so it ends up wrapped around Victoria. Victoria lets out a sound that’s disturbingly close to a contented sigh.

“Hey... Vic?”

“Mphgmhm?”

“Um… Are you aware that you’re cuddling me like I’m your long-lost childhood teddy bear?”

“Grhmphgm.”

“Uh. ‘Kay. Long as you know.”

“Mphkm.” Victoria nuzzles into Chloe’s shoulder, squeezing her tighter. Chloe awkwardly pats her side and Victoria sighs again.

“Hey, uh… I’m sorry about what I said before. I mean, not about you being an asshole, ‘cause I’m not gonna lie. But about your friends. I’m… sure your friends do like you, really.”

Victoria shrugs a little, frowning delicately. “Dsnmttr. Sleeb.”

Sleep. Okay. That’s theoretically possible. Chloe’s slept in more uncomfortable positions in this very truck, after all. So she closes her eyes and rests her head against the back of her seat, and she listens to the steady rhythm of Victoria’s breathing until the world begins to fade into a comforting void.

Shit’s going to be awkward in the morning. But, well. That can wait until the morning.

[gryffinpuffthunderbird]

And you’re proud of that? Oh wow, great job alienating and terrifying people who care about you. So admirable and brave.

... I got nothin. No words.

And I told you before, you sounded like a lunatic. That’s such an illogical jump...

‘Fearless’ still has enough common sense to go “yknow.. sure I’m not scared, but I’m not stupid either”.

‘Foolish’ is just blind stupidity.

*sigh* Without any kind of spotter, I’m guessing?

Because that’s such a pleasant place to hang out. Such nice people, smells wonderful, not disreputable at all...

And that’s sarcasm, by the way. In case you were too far gone to recognize it.

WHAT?! After you f***ing dragged me everywhere in search of him?! Pulling me away from traumatized friends?! You threw such a damn fuss, accused me of being uncaring. Now he’s just, what? Kicked to the curb?!

The f**k, man?!

Bisch, please. I’ve been strolling through that forest as if it’s a public park at noon, since our FIRST YEAR.

[torumaline]

TheGifted 2x07 (no Mercy) Thoughts

-YOO THEYRE BACK!!

-OMG YOUNG GOD IS A WOMAN.

-aww. Her friend was stabbed. Awwwwww

-jeez Inner Circle be stealing.

-uh oh Reed isn’t doin well still.

-wAIT what da heck they wanna move him??

-*blanch* EX S.S. GUY?! BLAH.

-OMG REEVA’S BAE?! DAMN I NEVER THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA SEE HIM!

-Reeva just got sad by looking at a drawing. Whaaa?

-wAIT. ARE THEY GONNA-oh dear god.

-hold up it isn’t a date. I’m calling it.

-YEP IM RIGHT!!!

-OHH SHOOT HE WAS TRAPPED.

-Reeva is hammering this guy wow.

-OKAY THE MISSION IS HAPPENING SOONER THAN I THOUGHT!

-wait a sec Lorna wants Esme to stay behind to watch Dawn?

-Kay so John, Clarisse, and Marcos are doing…what exactly?

-HOLD THE CRAP IS MARCOS ASSUMING CLARISSE IS SIDING WITH THE BRANDED MUTANTS? Do nOT make assumptions, Marcos it could kill you.

-oh shoot we’re meeting her!!

-oops him apparently. Bold of me to assume it was gonna be Reeva.

-Who the hell is this guy? Benedict Ryan?! Who th is he?

-Umm I’m already hating this “Ben-dick-t Ryan.”

-Umm that isn’t gold.

-he has a plan. To help “people” take back America? I’ve got a bad feeling abt this. God I sound like Ewan McGregor…

Extra 1: UUGH football ads.

-shooooot no Reed. He’s looking at a photo of the family. And GrEaT he broke it.

-Ahhhhh okie Lauren hitting Reed in the feels. Damn.

-YO CLARISSE!! CAN I JUST SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE CLARISSE?? SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. Also I Stan an elf-eared Blink.

-Wowow so Reeva doesn’t wanna do anything to this guys fam.

-“I AM NOT A MONSTER UNLESS I NEED TO BE” WTFRICK THATS MESSED UP.

-also RebAndy is SUCH a cute ship.

-OMG MOM ESME LETS GOOOOO!!!! That thumbs up tho. She’s a BAMF mom champ Mutant and I love her.

-Okay here we go!! Omg they all look BOSS!!

-YOO HERE WE GOOO!!

-Wow they are badass!

-GO TEAM IN-AHH SHES USING HER VOICE.

-they are so badass with their teamwork and everything and omg wow.

Extra 2: FANTASTIC BEEAAAAAASTSS SQUAAAAD WHERE YOU AT?!?!?!

-here we go with the Benedict bisch again.

-WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT this bisch wants Ex SS to blackmail his old employer?!

-uh oh blackmail is coming I’m calling it.

-#brandealwithsamsung

I’m sorry I had to.

-Rebecca is getting a little Reeva-like.

-whOa she opened an elevator door with her HAAANDS!!!

-HERE WE GO she’s gonna OpEn It!!

-Go Rebecca keep trying!!

-OPP. PEP TALK GONNA WORK?!

-EYY IT DID!! Good job Andy!

-aNd GoOd JoB rEbEcCa!

-greeeaat Ex. SS is being ratted out.

-Bisch no he has a lot more than YOU.

-I am seeing resistance…not good.

-There they are. And dear god what did they do?!

-aww Esme is not doing well…

-OMG “YOUR FIRST BANK HEIST” LMflippinAO!!

-oh god. Caitlin thinks it’s her fault…

-and how Lauren thinks they won’t be able to touch her father.

-OOH more on the Von Strucker twins!

-she felt free and powerful? Oh okay!

-wAIT hold on Clarisse is questioning her allegiance oh GOD. OH GREAT.

-John is not happy great.

-Wait! She’s changing sides? Wait is this actually happening?!

Extra 3: omg I’m getting a cold frontin my town down to the 50s! YAY!

-Reed’s gonna get help!! And they’re holding hands!

-okay they’re done. So ya what happens now to them? IC and the Bank workers?

-WORLD DOMINATION IS WHAT REEVA IS GOING FOR?! HECK YEA THIS IS GETTING GOOD.

-uh oh he dead.

-Rebecca wants to hurt those guys.

-“SCREW THE PLAN”?! WHAT?!?!?!

-she-holy crap she killed them.

-TRIBUTE TO STAN LEE!!!!!! YAY ILY MARVEL!!

All in all, this episode was really cool! And it left us on a huge cliffhanger with Rebecca and how she’s a homicidical now if that’s even a word idk can’t English for the life of me...

See y’all next week!!

[local-sourchild]

4y old Yanek: Look, I lost my first tooth!

Mischa: Oh wow, good job Yanek!

Mischa: You know, if you put the tooth under the pillow at night

Mischa: The tooth fairy is gonna come by and give you a dollar!

Yanek: Really?

Mischa: Yeah

Mischa: So don't forget to put it under there, ok?

*at night*

Joan, with a fairy costume that Mischa forced them to use: HEY!

Yanek: Oh my-

Joan: Are you Yanek?

Yanek: Yes...

Joan: You, uhhhh, you lose teeth, yeah?

Yanek: Y-yes?

Joan: Ok, give it to me

Yanek: Hmmm

Yanek: My mother said that you're supposed to give me a dollar.

Joan, muttering: Oh yeah, motherfvcker this bisch want to take my money-

Joan: UUUUUUUH-

Joan: I'll give you 25 cents, ok?

Yanek: 75?

Joan: 40!

Yanek: 60?

Joan: 50 CENTS, OK?

Yanek: Alright, fine

Joan: Ok, give me your teeth

Yanek: You mean 'tooth', right? That's the singular for 'teeth'

Joan: DID I STUTTER?!

[iyeolie]

i’ve been so happy all day today even my family commented ’wow you’re in a good mood today’ like yes bisch EXO DID THAT !

[frameswar]

Wow, Only 3 simple steps!! Support bisches! 😘👽 . . 🛸 🧟‍♀️ . . #WisdomWednesday #Support #SupportArtists #AllArtists #NotDickArtists #HumbleArtists #Bands #OldGuys #YoungGirls #Metalcore #Deathcore #ANB #ShesDead https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt1TNXjA2ta/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18356lfvmcxxq

[viaggiatricepigra]

Review Tour: Sei di Corvi, di Leigh Bardugo

Il primo romanzo della duologia che ha consacrato Leigh Bardugo come una delle voci più talentuose e autorevoli della narrativa fantasy. Una serie ambientata in un mondo articolato e straordinario, il GrishaVerse, dove si muovono personaggi sapientemente costruiti e sfaccettati.

A Ketterdam, vivace centro di scambi commerciali internazionali, non c'è niente che non possa essere comprato e nessuno lo sa meglio di Kaz Brekker, cresciuto nei vicoli bui e dannati del Barile, la zona più malfamata della città, un ricettacolo di sporcizia, vizi e violenza. Kaz, detto anche Manisporche, è un ladro spietato, bugiardo e senza un grammo di coscienza che si muove con disinvoltura tra bische clandestine, traffici illeciti e bordelli, con indosso gli immancabili guanti di pelle nera e un bastone decorato con una testa di corvo. Uno che, nonostante la giovane età, tutti hanno imparato a temere e rispettare. Un giorno Brekker viene avvicinato da uno dei più ricchi e potenti mercanti della città e gli viene offerta una ricompensa esorbitante a patto che riesca a liberare lo scienziato Bo Yul-Bayur dalla leggendaria Corte di Ghiaccio, una fortezza considerata da tutti inespugnabile. Una missione impossibile che Kaz non è in grado di affrontare da solo. Assoldati i cinque compagni di avventura – un detenuto con sete di vendetta, un tiratore scelto col vizio del gioco, uno scappato di casa con un passato da privilegiato, una spia che tutti chiamano lo "Spettro", una ragazza dotata di poteri magici –, ladri e delinquenti con capacità fuori dal comune e così disperati da non tirarsi indietro nemmeno davanti alla possibilità concreta di non fare più ritorno a casa, Kaz è pronto a tentare l'ambizioso quanto azzardato colpo. Per riuscirci, però, lui e i suoi compagni dovranno imparare a lavorare in squadra e a fidarsi l'uno dell'altro, perché il loro potenziale può sì condurli a compiere grandi cose, ma anche provocare grossi danni... 

Finalmente arriva in Italia il primo romanzo della duologia che ha consacrato Leigh Bardugo come una delle voci più talentuose e autorevoli della narrativa fantasy. Una serie ambientata in un mondo articolato e straordinario, il GrishaVerse, dove si muovono personaggi sapientemente costruiti e sfaccettati. Una storia avventurosa ricca di colpi di scena che vi mancherà nell'istante stesso in cui avrete letto l'ultima pagina.

Letto in meno di due giorni. O forse dovrei dire divorato. Incredibile! Non mi sarei aspettata un libro così bello e coinvolgente; nonostante questa cover non mi fosse proprio nuova, ma non conoscendo l'inglese era rimasta marginale. Sono stata davvero fortunata a poter far parte di questo evento, di poterlo leggere in anteprima e potervene palare. Partiamo dalla storia, anche se vi dirò molto molto poco per non rovinarvi il piacere della lettura e della scoperta degli innumerevoli colpi di scena che riempiono le pagine di questo romanzo. Non ha un solo POV, ma tutti i vari personaggi ci danno, a turno, la loro visione dei fatti, rendendo la storia ancora più interessante e permettendo al lettore di fare qualche passo indietro, poiché ognuno di loro avrà modo di aprirsi con il lettore e, tramite dei ricordi, farci scoprire come sia arrivato a quel punto della sua vita. Tutti interessanti e a modo loro unici, ci terranno spesso sul filo del rasoio: spie, assassini, truffatori,... Anche se giovanissimi (fra i 16 ed i 18 anni, circa), hanno già sperimentato il fondo del Barile e sanno non solo difendersi da ogni cosa. Il più enigmatico resta sempre la figura centrale su cui fa perno la vicenda: Kaz. Conosciuto con molti nomi diversi e con una reputazione che farebbe impallidire chiunque; un ragazzo che si è fatto largo senza pietà in quel mondo e che ne sta uscendo sempre più forte e determinato. Estremamente intelligente, un fantastico manipolatore, una persona dai mille talenti, spietato e spesso crudele, nessuno vorrebbe come nemico. Si è creato uno spazio fra gli Scarti e nel tempo aveva ridato prestigio a quel clan, nonostante non ne sia (ancora) il capo. Ha messo insieme una piccola banda durante quegli anni ed ora, quando gli viene fatta una proposta così allettante seppur impossibile, non può che volere loro accanto, poichè i migliori che conosce. Anche se la fiducia è qualcosa di molto labile e durante il viaggio ci saranno molte occasioni in cui questa verrà messa alla prova. Insieme a lui altre 5 persone. Alcune le consocerete subito ed intuirete chi siano, ed il perchè le sceglierà. No, non voglio dirvi altro. Un fantasy originale, interessante, ben scritto, che ti tiene letteralmente incollato alle pagine fino alla fine. Mescola abilmente la realtà alla magia, con un tocco di astuzia fenomenale che ci farà innamorare di quel ladro senza scrupoli di Kaz, sempre pronto a calcolare le possibilità di ogni via d'uscita e di rischiare il tutto per tutto, anche giocandosi la vita. Ma non sarà il solo a conquistarci, preparatevi. Accennavo alla magia poco sopra. Eh si, poichè ci sono esseri umani(?) che hanno dei poteri molto particolari...ma riflettendoci, farete conoscenza di loro molto presto. L'ho appena chiuso e sto scrivendo di getto, mi rimbomba nella mente "wow" e "ma il prossimo?". La curiosità è davvero tanta.  Se tutto va bene, dovrebbe arrivare in Italia e non farci attendere troppo. Si spera che vengano portati anche altri libri dell'autore. Ho scoperto che è legato ad altri romanzi (anche questi già visti parecchie volte, ma per ora niente di più), ma per quanto mi riguarda non ho avuto alcun problema nel leggerlo. Tutto viene chiarito, ogni personaggio viene presentato a dovere durante il libro,...insomma, nessuna lacuna che può far innervosire il lettore. In questo breve periodo stanno uscendo un sacco di fantasy davvero belli e questo vi suggerisco di non lasciarvelo scappare. So che i soldi, ahimè, non sono sempre tanti a disposizione, ma merita molto. Fatevi tentare. Credo farà parlare molto di sé in positivo e si conquisterà un posto nel cuore di tantissimi.

Seguite questo evento e scoprire l'opinione di ciascuno di noi.

Qui trovate i nomi di tutti i blog che vi parleranno del romanzo:

Seguite anche il BlogTour dedicato al romanzo, qui i vari blog che ne fanno parte:

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[yogamami-ch-blog]

Babygirl isnt a Baby anymore, in a few days she will be officially a Toddler and already 10months old. Wow, she is so happy to stand up everywhere and to be with the other kids around her! You are amazing😘💪🏻 • Unsere Kleine wird in ein paar Tagen offiziell ein Kleinkind! Sie ist endlich wieder happy, da sie übersll aufstehen kann und mit den Anderen Kinds auf Augenhöhe ist!😘💪🏻 Babygirl du bisch so schnüssig! #babygirl #bloggermom #momblogger #yogamom #wollwalk #disana #jujube #standingup #family #attachmentparenting #motherhood