#10 ton tommy

[painthesecond]

BEN

THERES A WEIRD FUCKIN WOMAN IN THE TV AGAIN

BEEEEEEN

[septiccoffeefreak]

Tommy sent me FIFTEEN posts for my blog. holy crap I am so fucking loved

[approximately12lbs-of-ducks]

For the WIP title ask game, “DSMP space AU where Tommy and Wilbur are both humans that end up with alien crewmates Techno and Philza. Wilbur is known to be human. No one knows tommy is. I’m really normal about this one”! Very curious about this :D

And also if you wanna ramble about your extended Exile AU, absolutely go ahead >:D

*cackles gleefully while rubbing hands togetehr*

SO. In this AU, Tommy is kidnapped when he’s 12. He’s abducted by alien traffickers, and manages to escape and cobble together a life for himself. Details blurry. He learns how to move in a more twitchy, stuttering fashion - kind of like a bird - smoothes out his gait so it looks like he glides more than walks, constantly dyes his hands black using a pigment he commonly finds, holds his hands so his ring and pinky fingers are tucked into his palm and then wears gloves; he also wears a mask, reflective goggles, and then a veil over all of that. He basically does a ton of stuff to obscure his form with clothing and make it so that any human features he can’t hide are altered. He has a heavy accent but knows a fair bit of one of the more common alien dialects, enough to mostly converse with ease. He manages to get hired by Techno and Phil, two aliens, on a really shifty job as an engineer for their ship. Tommy’s been working on repairing ships for a couple years and has a pretty good idea of how they run, and so his boss recommended him when Techno and Phil asked for someone skilled (and who wouldn’t be missed incase they had to. Escort him off ship if yanno what I’m saying (they’re space mercenaries because of course they are)). Tommy takes the job cause it’s even more secluded than the back rooms of a space port, and because it pays mega bucks, and because he’s still trying to find a way home (the hope has dwindled down to almost nothing now but he has to keep ahold of it because he doesn’t know how to keep going without it).

upon boarding the ship, techno and Philza introduce him to another crewmate that they mentioned but Tommy never met before getting hired. His accent is extremely heavy and he clearly knows very little of the common dialect. Tommy thinks his accent is familiar but he just can’t place it - the new crewmate is very enthusiastic and friendly, despite techno and Phil seemingly a bit nervous about the two of them interacting. Tommy is delighted to discover that the crewmate can actually bully him right back, even with his limited vocabulary. It all goes wrong, however, when the next day Phil and techno sit tommy down and introduce him to Wilbur properly. Wilbur. Who is human. Who pulls off his mask to reveal warm brown eyes with white sclera and pale, hairless flesh and eyebrows and a mop of curly brown hair and glasses that are a bit crooked with a crack in them and a smile carefully not showing teeth and Tommy just freezes. and the next few months are frustrating and heartbreaking and it’s so hard. Because Philza and techno are deathly protective of Wilbur and love him, human as he is, and have emphasized so many times tk Tommy that Wilbur will not hurt him, that Wilbur is sentientc that Wilbur is emotional, that Wilbur feels love, that Wilbur has a complex personality - and it’s affirming and it’s terrible and Tommy is far too terrified to chance revealing himself as human. He’s also far too terrified that this is a trap. Is this a shapeshifter who saw a human and learned to mimic them? If he reveals himself as human, will he be locked up and sent to another place to be sold off for experiments or exotic zoos or other even more horrifying acts? Is this Wilbur a lure to catch other humans? Is he actually human, and still a lure, selling out his compatriots? Tommy is terrified. Terrified of being caught and hurt again. is the tune he has stuck in his head a human song? If Wilbur’s human and a traitor, will he recognize the tune if Tommy hums it? Will he put together how much T’mi sounds like ‘Tommy’ with the ‘o’ removed? is this catchphrase from earth that he translated into common a popular enough phrase on earth for Wilbur to get it?

But slowly, as it becomes clear that Wilbur is human and not a traitor or faking being a human, Tommy develops a new fear. He’s drilled his humanity out of himself, he doesn’t act human any way; what if they think HE’S a shapeshifter if he reveals himself? What if Wilbur is the exception and Philza and Techno still throw him out the airlock? Can Tommy even calm himself human? Being around Wilbur makes him realize he’s lost some of his grasp on English, his first language, what used to be his only language, because he’s barely spoken it for five years and he was so young when he was taken. He doesn’t remember much history, art, culture, he doesn’t remember how politics and currency worked, he doesn’t remember geography, he doesn’t know how his own body works, he - never got a chance to learn. He had just started middle school when he was taken and had never been that dedicated to his studies, other than English because he liked stories and making them. The details of what he did learn have become fuzzy. He doesn’t remember the feeling of grass. He doesn’t remember how the glow in the dark stars were arranged on his ceiling. He doesn’t remember how to get to the corner store from his house. He doesn’t remember the lyrics to his moms favourite song. He doesn’t feel human - he let so many details go in favour of survival, and because being human meant he was in danger. Holding onto the things that made him human would have gotten him killed. But each discovery of human experiences he missed, that he forgot, that he can’t remember anymore feels like a knife being pushed into his chest. He should be able to read Wilbur easier than anything else, because they’re the same species, but it’s the same as any other alien - Tommy has to RELEARN what some of Wilbur’s body language means. Tommy doesn’t feel human anymore, and he questions what he’s even trying to go home to.

And to top it all off, Wilbur is hurt that Tommy is ‘afraid’ of him, because at first Tommy avoided him out of terror of being caught, and now out of terror that he’s not good enough to consider himself human. Phil and Techno keep on giving him disappointed looks and talks and Tommy doesn’t know how to explain that he’s not scared of Wilbur hurting him but he’s so scared of what Wilbur Represents. And also the thought thag maybe- Wilbur will reject him. Confirm Tommy’s feelings that he’s not human anymore, be disappointed he can’t bond with Tommy over being from the same planet and speaking the same language. Tommy had a very hard few months lol. After a few months he starts to warm up to Wilbur though and relax around him, thanks to Wilbur’s incessant attempts to make friends with Tommy. He’s still terrified and closed off but he starts to loosen up a bit, and finds himself feeling at home with wil, tech and Phil, and sometimes, even, safe - even though it’s constantly tainted by the guilt of keeping himself hidden.

I’ve run several different scenarios for how Tommy does get revealed to be human; he gets sick and they try to strong arm him into going through the biometric scanner (which he refuses point blank to go into of his own volition), he accidentally responds to Wilbur in English (or similar scenario if Wilbur’s like ‘(in English) what’s this word in common’ and Tommy’s like ‘(in common) it translates to ___’), the ship gets attacked and he sheds his layers for easier maneuverability and also so he can use his nails and teeth and go feral as a treat (but which ultimately reveals him as human), just a gentle admittance to Wilbur one time after Wilbjr talks about earth and Tommy can’t contain his heartbreak anymore ((oh yeah Tommy def has some good angst moments of being homesick and trying to explain to his crewmates that he can’t just go home)); none of them fully satisfy me yet though. I’ll keep running the simulations lol

[rhosgobelbun]

steve's been knocking on doors trying to find eddie. he would be annoyed that all he's found are couples and groups in states of undress but this is some random house party, so it's what steve expects.

plus he's too relieved that he hasn't walked in on eddie being a part of any of it.

steve knows it's gross to feel this way. he trusts eddie 100%. it's not right to let past relationship problems cloud his judgement when it comes to what he has with eddie - who hasn't given him any reason to doubt.

but eddie is so new. been together for only 2 months now new.

and tommy was so old. childhood friend/fucked up situationship for 10 long years old. just ended for good a year and a half ago old.

so even though he knows, hopes, prays, that it's ridiculous to compare the two together, steve still checks the bathroom and makes sure the man on his knees in front of some blonde cheerleader isn't his boyfriend.

and then promptly ducks down to avoid a brush the blonde cheerleader throws at him.

'sorry!' steve apologizes. he hurries to slam the door closed and makes his way to the very last room at the end of the hallway.

maybe he left? eddie didn't want to serve here anyway, rich druggie clientele be damned. so even though they came together, maybe eddie had an emergency and-

steve cuts that thought off because well. he found eddie.

'baby!!' his boyfriend exclaims, alone, sitting on the floor in the middle of some random strangers room with a jar of peanut butter. he's got a spoon full of it half way up to his mouth and his eyes are red.

at least 4 brownies deep red.

the wave of relief he feels is actually pretty concerning, but steve will think about that some other time since he's too busy trying not to laugh at how ridiculous the long haird idiot looks.

'eddie, what are you doing?'

eddie looks guilty and for a split second steve thinks maybe he did walk in on eddie with someone else. (maybe he's waiting on them? maybe they already left?)

then eddie holds up the jar of peanut butter and says in the saddest voice, 'i needed it stevie, i don't remember how long it's been since i've had peanut butter. but i didn't think you'd find me! stay back! don't you come any closer!'

so this whole time while steve's been worried that eddie was off doing what tommy used to do to make him jealous, eddie just snuck off and hid away to eat peanut butter because steves' allergic.

starting to snicker, steve goes to sit across from him. 'i can be around it babe, im not gonna die.'

eddie rushes to close the jar, spoon shoved inside and all. he gives steve the stink eye. 'i know what peanut allergies can do to some people. i refuse to watch you blow up like a tomato.'

steve rolls his eyes and reaches out, acting like he's gonna touch the jar.

eddie yells. jumping to his feet, he scurries out of the closet like an over grown rat, 'steve harrington this is exactly why I was trying to eat this away from you!'

steves laughing now, giggling like a hyena. he can't believe he ever doubted this man.

later that night - after eddie has showered and brushed his teeth at least three times - when they're tucked away in eddies room under the covers, steve talks to him about his freak out. eddie apologizes for leaving him alone at a strangers party like that. he holds him close, gives steve a ton of kisses and promises to create a DND character that represents tommy.

'i'll turn him into a toad and kill him off in the most gruesome way imaginable. he'll be murdered to death, the kids will be traumatized. it'll be great. just you wait and see, my love.'

[leiazsolo]

Regarding Tommy (AKA Stop hating him for the “Begins” episodes)

So I’ve been seeing a TON of hate for Tommy specifically because of his behaviour in the ‘Begins’ episodes and how he “shouldn’t be forgiven” so I’m getting fed up and decided to to a TIMELINE of Tommy & why we don’t need to be spoon fed his ‘redemption’ because we saw it across 10-ish years of flashbacks in the Begins episodes and can learn to understand that some stuff can just be implied with storytelling rather than treating the audience like babies and spelling it out for them. I will be starting with his first chronological appearance NOT his first on-screen appearance.

Starting Approx. 2005-2006 2x12 “Chimney Begins” now I’m not sure exactly what dates the episode here but google tells me it’s set around here, If I’m wrong let me know.

This was the big episode of Tommy being an asshole, I will not deny he was an asshole. He was one of the primary assholes of this episode along with the old captain. Let’s look at this episode with what we know about Tommy now, not what we knew then.

Tommy was a closeted gay man in a male-led, white-led field (presumably gay, we haven’t had his label yet) working under a captain we know is Homophobic, Sexist, and Racist. He also was a white man in a white male field back in 2005, prejudice was still a huge thing in 2005 (and still is but we’re not here to talk about that) and this episode shows this well, because it had to fit with the ‘times’. Tommy was an aggressor to begin with Im not going to deny this, but do you know who was also there, standing by and watching the rest of the 118 treat Chimney like shit for MONTHS? Eli! Yes lovey Eli who eventually helped get Chim into the field and let him stay with him in Boston. Yes he ended up being a good guy, but that doesn’t excuse the months he spent staying quiet watching the 118 mistreat Chim. You’ll see this theme pop up again later, funnily enough. Eventually we see Tommy and Chim become civil, after Chimney saves his life. He goes on to befriend Chimney, telling him his favourite movie is Love Actually (that’s fruity) amongst other things.

Fast forward to somewhere between 2009-2010 2x09 “Hen Begins” aka the next time we see Tommy chronologically and the first time we meet him in the show. We know a rough timeline as Sal says his girlfriend took him to see the new Twilight movie, and they reference the Edward vs Jacob, which means it’s most likely New Moon or Eclipse as that was more heavily a marketing thing for those two than the first one. This is also the first time Tommy is implied to be gay (He doesn’t deny the accusation and instead jokes about kissing Sal/Chimney) Now at this point in time I know this probably was not planned, but is something to look back at.

Tommy is this episode steps back from being an aggressor, he is still working under Gerrard and still closeted. He is still a part of the problem, but other than being present in the episode and in the scenes where Sal and Gerrard acted as aggressors, he didn’t actually contribute verbally to the mistreatment of Hen. The primary aggressor for Hen was Gerrard and remained to be Gerrard throughout the episode even when her co-workers saw her doing good things. And going back to Eli in Chimneys episode, guess who was also a bystander to Hens mistreatment, filling a similar role to Hen that Eli filled? CHIMNEY. He stood back for also presumably months, didn’t defend Hen against their co-workers, and just let what happened to him happen to her. Then, at the end of the episode it’s revealed multiple members of her team submitted complaints against their captain for the mistreatment of Hen, I’m willing to bet that he was one of those people, him, Chim, and even potentially Sal as he was less of an ass by the end. By the end of her episode we know they are now friendly at work and he thinks she’s a good firefighter.

Skip forward to 2014-ish, 2x16 “Bobby Begins Again.” We immediately see the team meshing, Chim, Hen, Tommy, and even Sal. 9 Years have passed since he met Chimney, and 4-ish since Hen and it’s implied they’re a friendly unit, Tommy is still closeted, and has been working under a rotating number of captains (six to be exact), but has clearly become a better, and more accepting person, the world is changing and he isn’t being held back with the times. He goes out for drinks with Hen & Chimney, laughs with them, has an overall good time being their friend and seeming enjoying working under Bobby for another 4 years, we even see them smash his face into a cake at a surprise leaving party they’ve thrown him. We know Buck took his place at the 118 which was not long before S1 began, so we’re assuming he left the 118 2017/2018.

This is the last time we see Tommy until 7x03, presumably set in 2023/2024 “Capsized”, a whole canonical 16-18 years after we first meet him, and 6 years since he left the 118. In those 6 years we know he:

A) is still friendly with Chimney, we know from 2x14 when he phones him to drop the fire retardant on the house. He is also mentioned to still be in contact in 3x16

B) Has come out/discovered his sexuality.

C) Is obviously not bigoted, or at least as much as he was back in 2005-ish.

In terms of Hen we can assume they haven’t really stayed “friends” since Tommy left, as she states in Capsized that she forgot he worked there. She worked with him for 8-ish years, I’ve worked with people for that length of time and don’t talk to them now, doesn’t mean I hate them, we just don’t really have reason to talk anymore. I just think their friendship was more a “we’re work friends” kind of relationship rather than a “we’re in each other’s lives” one, which is a completely normal and valid relationship. Whereas with Chim we know they’ve remained at least acquaintances to chat, and friends enough that Tommy would risk both his life and job to save Bobby.

At this point in the timeline it’s been approximately CANONICALLY 16-18 years since we met Tommy, and the fandom is still asking for his character to be held accountable for things he said all those years ago, when clearly in the canon of the show has been forgiven. At this point in the show I really don’t think we need to be spoonfed this narrative, it would feel clunky and weird to see an apology on screen for something that’s clearly been addressed off screen. It would frankly be a waste of the limited airtime we have this season.

I also think it’s super important to remember that Tommy wasn’t planned that far in advance, we know he was bought back by Minear because he wanted the person who was part of Bucks coming out to be someone the audience had already met before & Lou was both available and willing to do it. If they had been planning this exact storyline since season 2, maybe Tommy would have been portrayed differently, who knows.

I get we love Buddie and we want Buddie so much, I am not and never will jump ship from Buddie, I love that Tommy is Bucks first boyfriend, I just hope Eddie gets to be his last.

I’m also super glad we’re getting Bucks coming out separately from Eddies potential future coming out, I am on the (seemingly) small majority that thinks that would have been way too much to happen all at once, and also the characters deserve to have their own coming out stories not to be lumped together.

so yeah. TLDR; Tommy has evolved over 16-18 years, 10 years of which we saw across the Begins episodes, and if we want to be spoonfed his accountability for his behaviour in the begins episode, we should also be asking the same from Eli and Chim.

[lex-loudestwoman]

The Whole Story

Before we begin, a disclaimer: I believe that Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are in a romantic relationship together. I've come to this conclusion carefully by reading all the signs Taylor has given us through her lyrics, media presence, clothing & jewelry choices, marketing, visuals, and interviews. This is all a theory of what I think has gone down between Karlie and Taylor since 2013.

2013 & Earlier - The Beginning

VS Fashion Show 2013: The first official meeting of Karlie & Taylor was at the 2013 VS Fashion Show.

This may not have been their true first encounter (s/o @sophietv for her amazing work about this, she outlines all the times Kaylor interacted prior to the fashion show in 2013!).

According to a Teen Vogue interview in 2014, Taylor and Karlie were introduced to each other at the same time that Taylor met Emma Stone by Andrew Bevan of Teen Vogue. That was in 2008 at the Young Hollywood Awards.

After that first meeting in 2008, Taylor attended a number of fashion shows that Karlie walked in: Tommy Hilfiger Spring Show (9/16/2009); Rodarte Spring 2012 show in NYC (9/13/2011); Jean-Paul Gauthier in Paris (9/30/2012), Elie Saab Spring/Summer 2013 Show (10/3/2012).

Karlie & Taylor also both attended Roberto Cavalli's 40th Anniversary Party (9/30/2010) and the Met Gala in 2011. Teen Vogue included a quote from Karlie about the Met: "Taylor Swift. I was introduced to her at the Met Gala, and we joked about having a baking date!"

January 17th, 2012: The iconic Twitter interaction between Kaylor finally happens! Taylor's cover story with Vogue includes a quote about Karlie: "I love Karlie Kloss, I want to bake cookies with her!" Karlie tweets at her the same day the cover releases.

2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

By the time the 2013 VS Show rolled around, I think they were already dating in some capacity, and the fashion show was a PR move. If Taylor & Karlie were going to become "close friends" in the public eye, they needed a high-profile, highly documented story about how they met to avoid questions about the nature of their close relationship.

Taylor performed I Knew You Were Trouble (Red) for the show, and she danced with Karlie on stage while 'snow' fell.

"So it goes, you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round." - You Are in Love, 1989

Karlie later revealed in an interview that she had gotten a dramatic haircut during a Vogue shoot just before the VS Fashion Show began. This haircut was a big deal- she changed her look completely without talking to anyone about it, and Vogue asked her to keep it a secret until the shoot dropped. So she showed the VS Fashion Show like "surprise! New hair!" which drew up quite a buzz. Taylor's hair was pretty blonde and long at the time, not fully bleached but certainly lightened up in comparison to her natural hair color.

"flashback when you met me, your buzz cut & my hair bleached" - Dress, reputation

Karlie posted a ton of pictures from this event (most of which were of her and Taylor) on her Instagram. She also starts posting really sappy Instagram posts about being in love.

I think that the November 14th, 2013 post about receiving your favorite flowers from the person you love is about Taylor Swift, but who's to say!

Then, on Friday, December 13th, 2013 (Taylor's 21st birthday, which I think she references in an interview sometime when she's talking about why she loves the number 13) Karlie posts two sugarplum fairy-related photos, capturing the scene in The Nutcracker where snow falls from the sky as delicate performers dressed in white dance along the stage. This is super Taylor-coded, giving YAIL, dancing in the damn snowglobe again.

Interesting caption there, Kar. "#flashbackfriday to the good old days as a sugarplum fairy myself (aka the day I peaked)"

On December 14th, Karlie posts a solo shot on instagram and tags Josh with photo credit (this is hilarious that we let them just tell us whoever took their picture with absolutely no questioning whether they might be lying???). For some reason, I get the feeling that Taylor took this photo for Karlie the morning after her birthday when they were still together from celebrating the night before.

2014 - You're My Best Friend

Taylor buys her massive Tribeca, NY Penthouse apartment in April 2014. The home was actually TWO penthouse apartments next door to each other, and then she bought a third townhouse unit next door in 2017, and in 2018 she bought an additional 3-bedroom unit in the same building. Go off NYC Real Estate Queen! Taylor moved into her iconic Cornelia Street apartment during a round of renovations at her Tribeca home in 2016.

Big Sur Trip

VS Fashion Show 2014

Vogue Cover

BEST Best Friends

1989 - October 27, 2014

"The inspiration that I found in that [New York] city is kind of hard to describe and hard to compare to any other force of inspiration I've ever experienced in my life." - Taylor Swift, discussing the importance of NYC in an interview with ABC News given on 10/20/2014 ahead of a 1989 promo single release for Welcome to New York (1989). That quote actually reminds me of a lyric from 1989: you understand now why they lost their minds & fought the wars, and why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words (You Are in Love, 1989).

2015 - Hiding in Plain Sight

1989 era so many public appearances blah blah blah they were girlfriends in public kissgate gay whatever, everyone agrees that Karlie & Taylor were dating in 2015 during 1989 World Tour etc

2016 - Beards or Bust

Politics and Jared Kushner

The unfortunate reality of 2016 was that Donald Trump really did get elected president, and then he really did take office and become the President of the United States from January 2017 - January 2021. (Sadly, none of it was a nightmare or even a collective hallucination, all of this actually happened in the good old U.S. of A., yeehaw!!) The sociopolitical climate in the US is charged, fraught, uncertain, and divided. Even worse for Taylor & Karlie is their closeness to Jared Kushner, Josh's older brother who is married to Ivanka Trump. Jared served as a senior advisor to Donnie Boy for his entire term, and he did such a good job being Don's accomplice in negligent, ethnocentric, homophobic, misogynistic leadership from the White House that he was made the Director of the Office of American Innovation (this entire office was created by Trump in March 2017 and dissolved by Biden in January 2021).

I think (and this is JUST speculating, I have no real evidence compiled yet to back this up, but I'll look for it eventually) Jared Kushner & Ivanka Trump are also in a queer-bearding relationship contract. I'm not going too far into it now, but there's stuff out there for both Jared and Ivanka, like former Trump staffer Noel Casler's allegations that Jared is gay and in an "arranged marriage" with Ivanka, who doesn't care about his sexuality due to her own sexual opportunism and likely queer identity.

If Jared and Ivanka really are queer and in a non-monogamous, mutually beneficial public relationship that allows them to co-parent their three children, then their involvement in the Trump administration makes things pretty damn unsafe if they ever were found out. So, I think that when Trump was elected, the entire Kushner family had to be super locked down to keep both Jared & Ivanka AND Josh & Karlie (and Mikey and Taylor) safe from any unwanted allegations.

Since the Kushner and Hess families hold international influence, wealth, and power, if all these billionaire men were suddenly outed as gay there could be serious economic and political consequences across the globe.

Not so coincidentally, Karlie and Taylor's last public event together was Lorde's birthday on Monday, November 7th, 2016. The 2016 Presidential Election took place on Tuesday, November 8th, 2016, which sealed the fate of the Kushner name to be attached to Donald Trump's Presidency. I believe that if Trump had not won (which no one expected him to do) Karlie & Taylor would not have started this Love Blackout.

This photo is the end of Kaylor's public friendship, and the start of their Love Blackout (shout out to @sophietv again for being the BEST!!)

Joe Alwyn - A Perfectly Palatable Person

I'm sure when the team realized Trump might actually win the election, they started looking for an acceptable beard. Joe really was a great choice for Taylor's life: he had features similar to Karlie's (light eyes, tall, blonde hair), he didn't have much going on with his own reputation, he had a sparkling clean dating history - because Taylor was his first ever girlfriend, he was a fellow artist and was already media trained, and he was gay, too!

Met at the Met - May 2016

red herring lyric (tied to VS 2013 show)

First Reports - May 16, 2017

The Sun broke the news of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn dating on May 16, 2017. According to Tree Paine a source, they had been secretly dating for months. It's later assumed that they started dating a few months before January 1, 2017, (revealed in a Lover journal released in 2019). Some sleuthing swifties connect a lyrical swap in the acoustic cover of "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire as performed by our girl Taylor (Friday, April 13, 2018) to the diary entry and determine their anniversary was probably September 28, 2016.

Supportive Boyfriend Award? - December 8, 2017

Joe does something of heroic power. He goes to a concert with his popstar girlfriend. He apparently attended Taylor's performance in the iHeartRadio JingleBall in NYC and "stayed for the whole show and they later left together as well." lmao wut, okay, lots of people stayed for the whole show, this is such a boring relationship roll out, especially for Miss Extra!! (lovingly)

Toe is Officially Official - May 8th, 2018

Joe finally takes his instagram off private mode and posts a picture of himself, alone, next to a big cactus. Taylor also posts a picture of herself, alone, near the same big cactus. Alright, I guess that *technically* counts as giving the public some confirmation that you two know each other, but I bet Tree was mad as hell when that was their "official instagram announcement."

Then, Joe joins Taylor at the opening night of the Reputation Stadium tour in Glendale, AZ. He wore a baseball cap low to cover his face and "stay incognito" (Joe, babe, no one knows who you are...but like okay i guess, be weird about your fame that you literally wanted and signed up for). But during the song Gorgeous apparently Taylor pointed at Joe in the VIP tent, while he proudly filmed her.

Taylor travels around the country for the Reputation Stadium Tour from May-November 2018. The Rep tour is SO, SO GAY, like Jesus Christ Lesbian Jesus save us from all the rainbow and bisexual flagging!! Check my twitter thread for a full analysis of how gay the Dress performance is.

Reputation Promo:

Taylor Swift socials

Karlie Kloss socials

Reputation, The Album

Reputation was released on November 10, 2017.I consider Reputation to be Taylor & Karlie's "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing" album. This is the honeymoon, this is the up all night, can't stop, won't stop, I need you more than air kind of love.

This album is all about the pining and desperately waiting, hiding their anticipation, hands shaking from holding back from touching each other where anyone might see them. Much like Taylor's own media presence & public interactions in the Reputation era, Kaylor had gone dark, nobody heard from them for months, but they're doing better than they ever were.

2018 - Desperate Measures

The honeymoon phase ends in 2018 as shit in America gets worse for queer folks. The sociopolitical climate is getting more dangerous now, and Trump's constant attacks on LGBTQIA+ rights & safety is making matters much worse. Jared Kushner & Ivanka Trump are in the media a lot now, which means all eyes are on Josh, too.

Toe is Officially Official - May 8, 2018

Joe finally takes his instagram off private mode and posts a picture of himself, alone, next to a big cactus. Taylor also posts a picture of herself, alone, near the same big cactus. Alright, I guess that *technically* counts as giving the public some confirmation that you two know each other, but I bet Tree was mad as hell when that was their "official instagram announcement."

Then, Joe joins Taylor at the opening night of the Reputation Stadium tour in Glendale, AZ. He wore a baseball cap low to cover his face and "stay incognito" (Joe, babe, no one knows who you are...but like okay i guess, be weird about your fame that you literally wanted and signed up for). But during the song Gorgeous apparently Taylor pointed at Joe in the VIP tent, while he proudly filmed her.

Taylor travels around the country for the Reputation Stadium Tour from May-November 2018. The Rep tour is SO, SO GAY, like Jesus Christ Lesbian Jesus save us from all the rainbow and bisexual flagging!! Check my twitter thread for a full analysis of how gay the Dress performance is.

Instead of hosting her usual big 4th of July Party at the Holiday House in RI, Toe goes on vacation to Turks & Caicos to celebrate the holiday. They call Backgrid to take a few pictures of them "frolicking" at the beach together. I'm so convinced, they're in LOVE!! Can't get enough of each other!! They totally hold hands all the time, this feels so natural and not weird at all!

Karlie posts a few photos in a row about the 4th of July this year. First, she's in her Anti-Hero colored pajamas with her left eye closed in a wink, sitting on a few suitcases, captioned "Kissin Paris Goodbye. *kissy face emoji*"

Then, another post on the 4th itself is of a WMAG stylized photoshoot where Karlie is a cowboy, for the Wild West with Cowboy Karlie campaign. It's captioned "Going into the 4th like *cowboy emoji* @/wmag" EXCUSE ME. "You're a cowboy like me, perched in the dark, telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear like it could be love I could be the way forward only if they pay for it"

The implications of a Cowboy Like Me reference and this photo's timing has on their engagement story has me dead. I'll do a whole lyrical analysis and tie in of it soon.

And then she posts this pic of her swimming in an unidentifiable body of water. Could it be Turks & Caicos? Maybe!

Joshlie announces their engagement on July 24, 2018 while the two are on a vacation in XYZ? People Magazine reports that the proposal "took place a few weeks ago during a romantic weekend together in upstate New York." So they got engaged sometime in the beginning of July, right?

On July 10th, she posts a video of herself voguing down the runway with "This Kiki is Marvelous" playing in the background during Paris Fashion Week in September 2013. Her performance was considered one of the highlights of Paris Fashion Week. She captioned the video: Mood. @/jpgaultierofficial.

Quick question for Karlie, why do you feel the same way you felt before you went on stage for a make or break performance out of your comfort zone? You performed incredibly but it could have easily turned out very differently. Why would you be feeling like that right around the time of your engagement to Josh Kushner?

Karlie's instagram post on July 16, 2018 captioned "bestest of weekends with my bestest of friends" included group photos and a video of her & four girlfriends from her childhood.

So she got engaged and then spent a weekend with her friends, who then commented on instagram pictures from the weekend saying "remember, there's nothing better than old friends!" Why the heck are they talking about friends so much!? She literally just got engaged to Jo- ohhh.... Oh, right, he's gay, and she's gay. Old friends. Ahhhh.

Taylor responds to the engagement news breaking by having special guest, Haley Kiyoko aka Lesbian Jesus, join her for the Rep show at Gillette Stadium on July 27, 2018. Taylor specifically requests to sing Curious with Haley, which is a song about a lesbian woman singing to her ex-lover who is now dating a man, asking her ex if she lets him touch her the way she used to. So gay, so timely, Taylor is a petty bitch & I love her.

Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Delicate (Reputation)

The Wedding, October 18, 2018

Karlie wears her custom Dior gown and very amicably marries Joshua in someone's backyard, it looks like. Things seem perfectly pleasant, almost like watching a wedding scene featuring two actors with no sexual chemistry whatsoever.

2019 - Every Time I Don't, I Almost Do

Lover Promo is all very gay, very loud, very comingoutlor.

ME! out now! on Lesbian visibility day, April 26, 2019.

YNTCD music video out on June 16, 2019.

The Wedding, Part Two: Cowboy Karlie and Her Cowboy, Her Man

Karlie Kloss and Joshua Kushner celebrate their wedding again with a private group of friends from June 20-23rd, 2019 in Wyoming. It's cowboy themed, for whatever reason.

This wedding into a honeymoon in Africa would have been a wonderful strategy to keep the spotlight off of Karlie in Taylor Swift's immediately impending plan to come out on June 30th, 2019. Go read @sophietv's incredible post that details the failed coming out (fuck Scooter Braun).

<timeline jump>

2020: The Great War

January:

February: Karlie is in Paris, Taylor is advertising The Man MV (out February 27).

March: Quarantine begins March 16th & Taylor starts writing folklore almost immediately, which means that the events in folklore have already happened before COVID begins.

MORE ON THE WAY! I've got:

What happens when Karlie gets back to the US?

How does the Lover era go?

Lover social media & marketing presence

8.24.2019 - Blue

9.9.2019 - Lover in Paris performance

10.7.2019 - Sad Girl SNL

10.11.2019 - Sad Girl TinyDesk (& ring)

Continued sus social media from TSwift

Miss Americana

2020: The Great War (3.16.2020, Quarantine begins)

Lonely Millennial Woman Covered in Cat Hair

folklore

evermore

Karlie's Pregnancy

2022: Go Viral (Midnights, Red TV)

2023: Midnights, Eras, Speak Now TV, Broken Toe, 1989 TV, Kaylor Renaissance

My Predictions

[lizziesblueberries]

Relax

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5,598

Warnings: Mommy Kink, Mommy!Wanda, Bottom!Reader, but wait Top!Reader, praise kink, smut, yandere Wanda, possessive Wanda, possessive reader, maybe the dynamic switches, maybe it doesn’t, g!p reader, drinking breast milk, blowjob???, hehehe, maybe some rough sex, fluff, service Wanda, dom reader? Idk depends how you see it, |minors DNI, 18+

Summary: Fifth and final part to the series. The boys are finally here! And you and Wanda deserve some much needed time to yourselves.

Notes: Hello! I know its been so long since I last wrote, a whole year! And quite the year it has been. I just want to say thank you all for liking and commenting my stories. It means a lot and I’ve been so excited to write more for all of you! (and more importanlty, myself 😏) I do have more stories in plan and this will be the last fic for this series, so I hope it satisfies you all. Honestly, I cant wait to post the next story for you guys, this next one is definitely a bit more intense and dare I say, violent, duh duh dun! Anywho, enjoy my thirsty fan club!

Part 4

——

It’s been about 10 months since you first discovered you were pregnant, ten months since you and Wanda visited that quaint little Sokovian town and saw Strange. Ten months since you woke up with Wanda’s cum filling you completely and then having it ooze out of you when Wanda slowly pulled out. And its been one month since you gave birth to two beautiful little boys named Tommy and Billy.

A whole month has gone by, and it has been the most emotional and exhausting and best month of your life. You and Wanda gave birth in the cabin, Wanda having done a ton of research to prepare yourselves for when the boys came. And Wanda was the prefect partner. You on the other hand, well, Wanda wouldn’t say it out loud otherwise, for her sake. You had been going through emotional mood swings and cravings and body changes, and poor Wanda had to take the brunt of it all. Honestly, the amount of times you cried, threw up, or just threw a pillow at Wanda’s head, was countless. Wanda being Wanda, excepted it all and waited patiently for you to either calm down or rapidly change from angry to needy or some other mood that didn’t involve you wanting to aim something at her head.

Don’t get her wrong, there were some moments where she needed to take some deep breaths, but she knew you were going through something you couldn’t exactly control. And you were the one who was bearing her kids, so, it was the least she could do not to get frustrated or mad at you. You of course always appreciated her patience after, you were weirded out at first from the feeling of little bodies growing inside you, but you soon learned to love their little kicks and Wanda loved sensing their life as well. She spent the majority of your pregnancy being over joyed and over protective. If you so much as even suggested leaving the house for a walk, Wanda would immediately say no and try to distract you with other things. One of those things being sex. You honestly never thought you would ever turn Wanda down from any of her advances, but pregnancy seemed to prove you wrong. When you were in the mood for something it would stay that way until you got it. You would ask to go for a short walk outside, and her eyes would flash with panic, quickly coming up with another suggestion and press kisses against your throat.

“Why don’t we stay inside my love? Where it’s safe and warm, and perhaps reenact another magical moment together?” Wanda would say, doing her best to turn your mind somewhere else, but you were also stubborn. And while you may think you were the simp here, it was in fact Wanda who was the simp.

“No, I’m not in the mood Wanda I want some air and to look at some fucking trees for once, I need to stretch my legs.” You would say, and Wanda, the ever respectful lover, would back off and agree to you. Of course part of the agreement to go outside would involve you staying within a ten foot perimeter around the house and Wanda by your side at all times searching for any danger. It was cute though, to see Wanda so protective and vigilant for you and the boys, so you couldn’t really complain, you got to go outside anyways.

It seemed Wanda got even softer as you grew bigger, her jade eyes always on you, concerned, loving, or just gleeful to see you. Her protectiveness and possessiveness was still there, but there was something else. Your relationship turned into something more equal, she valued what you had to say and what to do, and you seemed to have understood her better than anyone. Loving each other in a more natural and at home kind of way and not just passion.

When the day finally did come, boy was Wanda the least calm you had ever seen her. She could feel your pain and wanted everything to go ok, laying you down and preparing for when the boys would come. Her magic surrounding everything she needed and almost pulsing in worry with her. You weren’t as worried at that point like she was, probably because you felt like your insides were tearing apart at that moment, honestly, who thought it was a good idea for women to give birth this way? That thought left your mind though as soon as you finally got a look at Tommy. Calm for a baby who just entered the world, but then again this was Wanda’s son. You nearly cried at the sight of him, then Billy was on the way and you definitely cried from having to go through the pain again.

It became a blur after that, but one thing you definitely remember seeing, was your two beautiful boys, and your beautiful wife, holding them. Wanda looked radiant, her eyes glistened and her smile was something only held for her boys and you. She gave you Billy soon after she checked for your health, using her magic and spells to make sure you were ok and not in pain anymore. And when you held Billy in your arms, you knew he was going to be a mamas boy, empathetic and sweet for his moms and brother. Wanda sat next to you on the freshly cleaned bed and you looked at Tommy adoringly. He was definitely going to be the one to drag Billy into all sorts of trouble, and from what you heard from Wanda’s stories of them, you would be very right.That night you and Wanda fell asleep with the boys held cradled into your chests (a spell was cast to not hurt them in your sleep of course) and you laid in bed as a new family.

A month has passed since then, and while you would never regret having the twins, they were honestly too adorable, your lack of sleep was weighing on you. The boys were little balls of energy and consumed everything they ate, crying for attention and waking you and Wanda up almost every two-three hours. Being pregnant and already developing milk, you and Wanda decided to breast feed them. This was not as fun as you would think, the whole, ‘babies drinking from their mother will increase the bond’ was not exactly true, those boys would suck everything dry, regardless of where it came from, and you were starting to think breastfeeding was not the grandest idea. Your breasts were sore and you couldn’t really produce enough milk for two growing baby boys, one of them being a speedster mind you.

And this ends our little summary of the past few months up until now. You, having just put the boys to sleep, and for once, the boys are not hungry. So now, you’re tired, AND sore with milk and you just wanted to have a nice relaxing night for once. You quietly walk out of the room downstairs to the kitchen, where Wanda is leaning against the counter sipping tea. Her eyes are slightly glazed from sleep, and she’s wearing a red robe like you are. You walk up to her and just fall into her front, head going into her neck and leaning all your weight into her. Wanda grunts from the surprise weight and sets her mug to the side to wrap her arms around you and hold you to her. You sigh into her and she just rests her head against yours.

“What is it detka? Tired?” Wanda quietly says, moving to softly rub her hands along your back soothingly. You just nod your head and let out a little hum. She chuckles at this and squeezes you to her, only instead of a happy sigh like she thought she would get from you, she gets a hiss of pain and immediately pulls back to look at you in worry. “What was that? What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing Wanda I’m just sore because the boys didn’t feed, I think I’m going to get the pump out.” You say tiredly, not really bothered anymore, just wanting to get rid of the ache and milk and just head to bed. You turn and start to walk away, heading towards the cabinet to get the pump, but Wanda tugs on your hand, so you turn back to her in confusion. She looks you up and down, thoughtful and concerned, and maybe it’s the sleep talking but you think you also see a dark glint in her eye.

“What if I helped you out with that darling?” Wanda asks, and you just turn back around not really getting what she’s trying to say.

“That’s ok Wanda, I mean, unless you want to turn it on and watch, there’s not much to really help with the pump.” You walk away, across the kitchen and are about to grab the pump, but scarlet magic suddenly stops you, keeping you in place. “Wanda what-“

“I’m sorry baby, I don’t think you quite understood my question. I’m not asking to use the pump, I’m asking, if you would like my help with getting rid of some of what I’m sure is very warm and delectable milk.” Wanda slowly turns you around with her magic as she asks this. Her walk slow and seductive towards you, and its then you realize what she’s really asking.

“Oh,”

“Oh, indeed.” Wanda says amused. She’s in front of you now and she’s looking at you like she’s going to eat you whole. Her magic holding you still, she slowly waves her fingers and moves your hands behind your back. “So? Is that a yes? Would you like my help with that ache of yours babygirl?” Your eyes widen a bit at Wanda’s sudden pet name and bold choice of words, heat flushes to your face from the question.

“I’ve never- we’ve never done that before, I didn’t think you would ever want to. Are you sure?” You ask unsure. The thought has come to you on occasion, but very fleeting. Sleep and the boys have taken up most of your time, and its been a while since you’ve been in the mood for anything sexual. Your pregnancy didn’t exactly make you want to have sex all the time. You felt a little bad, since you knew Wanda was always wanting your body, but she was so caring and never forced herself or tried to make you do anything you didn’t want. In fact she let you initiate most of it. So to say you both had been blue balled was an understatement. An image of Wanda’s mouth on you flashed through your mind and you suddenly realized how badly you missed her and needed her. You looked into Wanda’s eyes and saw her looking right back at you, and you realized she needed it too. She nodded and all you could do was say, “please.”

After that, Wanda couldn’t hold back anymore. It had been weeks since she last got to have you, and now she could finally taste a new part of you. With a flick of her wrist, her magic pressed you against the wall, your arms held behind your back, pressing your chest up more to her. All she could do was look at your breasts, bigger than usual from being full, and she licked her lips slightly at the sight. You still couldn’t move, not that you were complaining, although it would be nice to touch her after so long, you just watched her instead and waited for her to get closer to you.

She finally pressed her body against yours and you both sighed at the feeling, Wanda moved her mouth to your neck and placed small feather light kisses along your throat. You shivered and wanted so much more, but it was nice, the softness and intimacy you could feel coming from her. She wanted to treasure you. Wanda moved her hands to your waist, her hands slid along your sides slowly, up closer to your chest on your ribs, your breathing was increasing and Wanda basked in feeling your breathing quicken and your ribs expand. She could hear your pants against her ear as she kissed down your throat and she enjoyed having you at her mercy, unable to move or leave her hold.

“Wanda please.” You begged. Already impatient and not interested in any teasing. Wanda pulled back to look at you, dark eyes glimmered as they took in your appearance and smirked. She moved into you again until her mouth was pressed against your collarbone and slowly mouthed down to your chest, pausing to place a reverent kiss against the red tattoo there, and then continued to the opening of your robe. Her hands finally put themselves where they belonged and cupped your breasts as she kissed between them. You arched into her, letting out a moan as you felt her start to lightly massage them. Your breasts were tender, and as Wanda kept gently massaging them, milk started to ease out of your nipples. Wet spots started to form where your robe covered them, and Wanda watched with fascination as the spots grew darker and bigger the more she touched you.

“My poor baby. So tender and aching. You’ve been doing so much lately. Pregnancy, giving birth, taking care of the twins, not getting enough sleep, and having to feed them. I should be taking better care of you, cook you nice nutritious meals, take on more work with the boys so you can sleep, help alleviate your sore breasts.” As Wanda said this, she emphasized her words with the action of gripping your breasts more firmly, squeezing them a bit harder, and you nearly went on your toes to try and ease her grip. But you couldn’t, so you just stood there and whimpered in half pain and pleasure.

“Mommy please!” You finally said, and that seemed to move Wanda into motion. Her teasing smirk and gleaming eyes turned feral and dark, and her expression dropped into one with a women on a mission. With a wave of her hand, your robe practically tore in half as she parted it with her magic, she waved her hand again and soon after your hands were raised above your head and held to the wall. Your chest pushed out more and her gaze fixated on your freed breasts, they were so soft looking, so suckable to her, your milk was dripping down your stomach at this point and she couldn’t wait to lick it all up.

She took a step into you and cupped your breasts again, listening to you whimper, she moved her mouth closer and you held your breath. But instead of what you wanted, she lowered her head and went to your stomach, licking a trail up to your breast cleaning up every trace of milk that fell. Your stomach clenched and you jolted from the surprise, and Wanda adored the part of you that was a bit ticklish and made you more sensitive. As she cleaned every trace of milk, she looked you in the eye as she went to its source and finally placed her lips around your nipple.

“Oh god.” You groaned. You could feel as Wanda smirked against your nipple, her warm mouth wrapped around it as she pushed herself more into you. Her body completely molded itself against yours and her magic held you even tighter. Her lips became more firm, and a hot tongue soon came out to press against your nipple. She pressed the tip under it and gave a nice suck, and soon after milk was flowing into her mouth.

Groaning at tasting this new part of you, Wanda squeezed you tighter to her and continued to suck on your nipple. Her knee moved to between your legs and you arched into her, feeling warm liquid leave you and pleasure envelope your sensitive body. It felt so nice having Wanda drink from you, tasting you. And a more possessive side was rearing its head at finally having Wanda take this part of you and make it a part of her. You wanted her to drink this new essence of you and have it in her, to taste you and become addicted to it. It felt like this was the equivalent of having her drink your own cum, as perverted as it sounded, it made you all the more hot as she drank your milk, it made it all the more pleasurable.

Wanda was drinking from you like a woman starved, one hand was holding your breasts to her mouth and the other was trailing down your body to your hip. Her pinkie caressed the panties under it and soon that pinkie was sliding under the cloth and inching closer to your center. You were watching Wanda as she was attached to your chest and you were watching her when her eyes opened suddenly and they glowed from sea foam green to a burning red. Then your hands were released from her hold, but not your body, that didn’t stop you though from dropping your arms down to wrap them around her neck and tangle your fingers through her auburn hair. Pulling her even closer as if she wasn’t already as close as she could be, you pressed her more firmly against your breast and moaned when she rewarded you with a finger pressing against your clit.

“Babygirl you taste so good.” Wanda moaned against you. Wanda could almost feel how pleasurable it was for you, how your thoughts and feelings all gathered into one lovely erotic moment for you both. She could sense your desperation for her and more importantly, she was desperate for you, and for what has felt like the longest time, she could finally act on her need for you. Each time Wanda took a drink from you, she circled your clit. The pulses connecting between your nipple and the deep tug from your breasts as well as the the matching rhythm against your clit, was driving you wild, and soon you could feel yourself coming. Your body lost control of itself and started moving on its own. Wanda watched as you pressed your chest more into her and your hips stuttered against her hand. Your body was shaking and you closed your eyes with a silent scream and came so hard, even Wanda was bit taken aback, but didn’t hesitate to hold you and slowly ease you from your orgasm.

As you came down from wherever Wanda took you, you started to calm your breathing and realized your nails were gripping tightly into Wanda’s neck and back. With a sheepish smile you eased your hold and gently rubbed her new marks from you. Wanda merely smiled and kissed you sweetly.

“Did that hurt Wanda?” You asked.

“Not nearly enough darling.” Wanda said with a chuckle and smirked at your sweet, concerned face.

“Well if that’s the case.” Your face turned darker as you said this and Wanda was once again taken aback by your expression and was even more bamboozled when she was suddenly turned around and you were pinning her to the wall. Honestly, if you weren’t so turned on by her you would have laughed at her stunned face, but you had no time for that and went straight to just kissing her deeply, making an ‘mphm’ come out of Wanda’s captured mouth.

Your breasts were less sore now and you had no problem pressing your body against hers to keep her pinned against the wall. Wanda didn’t know what had come over you, she was so used to her always taking the lead or dominating, now it seems the roles were reversed. Wanda took this time to peek into your mind and was very intrigued by were you wanted to go with this, but more importantly, you seemed to need it, and that made Wanda need it too.

You’d gripped Wanda’s waist to control her body movement, and broke the kiss with a gasp, “Take off your clothes Wanda” you said. Wanda looked at you with a curious face, studying everything you were showing her. You face way determined and almost stern, no, more like you knew you were going to get what you wanted. Your voice was deep and breathless and honestly Wanda was really turned on by how aggressive you were being right now. Still looking at you, Wanda waved her hand and both your clothes were fully removed with a red flash. You breathed in deeply and took a good look at your wife. You may not of had an official wedding, but she was yours, and five months into your pregnancy, Wanda had made a ring for you both and you’d never taken it off. You looked at your wife and fully appreciated what was right in front of you. Wanda’s hips that you were gripping were full and soft, her red hair was in pretty waves going down her shoulders and her breasts, god her breasts were the most beautiful things you’d ever wanted to put in your mouth. They were what you fell asleep on every night and Wanda’s jade eyes were what you woke up to every morning. Wanda’s eyes were staring into yours when you were done appraising her, she was staying nice and still for you and you loved it. You didn’t know what was going on with you, but you felt a deep need to just take her. Everything in you was screaming to just take Wanda. Look at her, her lips were swollen from drinking your breast milk, from your kiss. Her pupils were blown wide and her eyes were saying ‘do what you want with me’ and so you did.

“I think you know what I want Wanda.” You said with a rasp in your voice. Wanda’s eyes flashed red from pure arousal alone. They way you were looking and speaking to her was making her lose it, and she didn’t need to read your mind to know what you were asking for. With a shaky nod from her and a wave of her hand, red magic covered between your legs and soon you felt a new appendage there. Wanda sunk to her knees and you stood there while she looked up at you and waited for you to tell her what to do. You felt a rush run through you and you wanted to feel more of it. Wanda was being such a good little thing submitting for you without you having to even tell her.

Wanda watched the way your eyes grew darker and your expression became pleased, she watched as you sorted through your emotions and waited for you to decide what you wanted next. She wouldn’t lie if you asked her if she liked this. She loved it. She loved being your mommy, but she finally understood why you loved submitting to her as well. The feeling she got when she sank to her knees for you, was something she felt deep in her chest. She could feel your satisfaction from her actions and it made her almost want to cum. This new feeling was beyond her, but she wanted to feel more.

As you looked at your darling wife, you could feel your cock pulse for her. “Be my good wife and milk me some more darling.” You growled, you waited for Wanda to listen and nearly buckled at the knee when Wanda took her hand, gently took hold of your strap, and placed her lips on the tip. Wanda kept eye contact as she tasted you like this for the first time. Her fucking beautiful mouth slowly wrapped around your cock and as she held it with her hand, put her other hand against your thigh to lift more up on her knees so she could lean more into you and support herself.

You let out a guttural moan as you looked down at her, her warm mouth and hot, wet tongue slid itself along your strap and for gods sake it was the hottest sight and hottest feeling. It was just as pleasurable as it was for your pussy, just different, and that different feeling elevated everything that was happening. To feel Wanda surround herself like this around you was making you feral and goddammit you couldn’t handle it anymore, you needed more, you needed to do something.

That something was to tangle your fingers in those red luscious locks and trust your hips against her while you held her still. Wanda took it with grace, opening her mouth wider and sliding her mouth along your cock until it touched the back of her throat. She gagged a little but was fine after that when you just kept thrusting. Wanda breathed through her nose and watched your face as you lost yourself in her. This was almost just as pleasurable for her as it was for you. She soon grew to love this side of you, love this feeling of taking another part of you in her mouth, and now she wanted to taste another form of cum from you.

You were getting close, you looked down at Wanda and groaned at the site of her on her knees, her cheeks hollowed for your cock, and drool dripping down from her chin with how much she was getting into sucking you. She was doing all the right things and even though you knew she was struggling to catch her breath, that made it all the better and the more perverted side of you loved it. You gripped her head tighter and thrusted faster as Wanda knelt there and let you use her. You needed something, one last thing, you just didn’t know what that was, until Wanda, sensing you were close, meaning she could taste your cum sooner, moaned against your cock and the rest was left for hell to deal with.

The sound you made as you came was blush worthy and the slapping came to a halt, and you made one last thrust as shoved your cock as far as you could down her throat and came. Wanda gripped your hips and pressed closer against you, doing her best to make sure every last drop of cum would go down her throat. You felt her throat and tongue move against your cock and actually heard her gulp a little as she drank everything from you. You didn’t realize it, but do to the heightened feelings and how long its been since Wanda got to last taste you, when the first drop of cum hit her throat and she heard you cum, she came with you. Her pussy clenched around nothing but she didn’t need anything, your pleasure and taste was all she needed and she came with clenched eyes and a long moan around you.

“There’s a good girl, god Wanda you feel so good.” You whispered as you slowly caressed her hair and you both calmed down. You were both finished so you gently pulled back and Wanda could finally relax her jaw and take some deep breaths. She hunched over a bit and this made you worried as you knew you were rough with her and may have hurt her. You knelt down with her and held her face to have her look at you. “Darling? Are you alright?” You sounded so concerned.

“Im alright baby.” Wanda said as she looked up and smiled at you. You felt yourself relax a bit and rubbed your thumbs along her beautiful cheeks, remembering how hollow they looked with her mouth around you… you shook your head a bit and checked her over.

“You’re not hurt anywhere? Did I go to hard, could you not breathe?” You asked. Wanda simply smiled again and kissed you to settle your concerns. When she pulled back she looked you in the eyes so you knew she was being honest and reassured you again that she was perfectly fine.

“I quite enjoyed that darling, you were a good mix of rough but not too much.” She said.

“Okay good, I’m glad, that would have been not fun if that were the case, I don’t ever want to actually hurt you.” You said. Wanda looked happy and so were you. That made you even more happy considering this new dynamic between you had been both pleasurable and you hadn’t hurt her. Knowing she enjoyed this too made you excited for future scenarios, and that excitement made you remember you could physically show that excitement and looked down. “Um, so I know that I’m kinda hard right now, but I’m also really exhausted, but I also really want to make sure you’re satisfied too, so tell me what you need Wanda and i’ll do my best to help.” You nervously said.

Wanda chuckled and kissed you sweetly on the nose, she pulled back and pleasantly surprised you with her next words. “Actually, dear I already came with you, just when you did as a matter of fact.” Wanda smirked at you.

“Really?! That’s so exciting and I didn’t even know that could happen Wanda! God I was so overwhelmed I didn’t even realize. Was it alright? Do you want my help with another one?” You stuttered out. You were amazed at this and Wanda could tell you were also nervous a bit with the new things you had tried with her.

“Calm down my darling, I’m quite satisfied at the moment. Hearing you cum, feeling it, tasting it, that was all I needed and I’m pretty sure I came just as hard as you. Now, why don’t we get up and take ourselves to bed. I think were both exhausted after the boys and this lovely night was just what we needed.” Wanda waved her hand and suddenly you were both clean and clothed and you specifically were appendage free. Thank you magic.

“I think that sounds lovely Wanda, thank you for doing this with me and trusting me to have the control like this.” You both got up as you said this and you felt so good and relaxed. You looked at Wanda and pulled her gently to you. Your arms circled her waist and she wrapped her arms around your neck, you both stood there and leaned into each other, just breathing each other in. “I love you Wanda” you whispered against her lips.

“I love you darling” Wanda whispered back and softly kissed you. Amongst all that had happened, it seemed it was you two whispering that finally woke the two twin boys that you both had been blissfully having a break from. Crying was heard from up the stairs and you both laughed a little at the timing. Wanda grabbed your hand and started walking, pulling you along with her as you both walked up the stairs. You watched behind her as you both went up and into the boys room. The twins room was decorated with a mix of blue and greens and in the middle were two cradles holding both your precious treasures. You both went to a separate bed and picked up your sons. You had Billy and Wanda held Tommy.

“Shhh, mommy’s here Billy, and so is momma.” Wanda delicately whispered as she rubbed Billy’s back, you did the same for Tommy. You both gravitated towards each other, and it seemed that calmed down the boys, as their crying calmed and Tommy looked at you. He was the cutest thing, his brown eyes looking at you with curiosity and familiarity. It soothed your soul knowing these precious boys were yours and Wanda’s. You could see so much of her in him. You held him close to you as his eyes started to droop, then you looked at Billy. Him doing the same only fighting a little harder to stay awake and watch Wanda. You couldn’t blame him as you looked at her next. She was the most beautiful person you would ever see and you guess Billy thought the same. He was definitely going to be a momma’s boy. You smirked, you were already mommy’s girl. She looked at Billy with so much wonder and you knew you were right were you needed to be. With your family, that you’d made with the woman you loved, and your boys were happy and safe and together again.

Wanda looked at you and stepped closer, her smile so gentle and at peace, you would never get enough of seeing it. God you loved her. She swayed into you and you both adjusted to hold each other and the boys as they fell asleep safe in both of your arms. You didn’t know it yet, but this would be just one of many moments between you and your family. Wanda had done something she never imagined. She’d found you and made her family whole again. All that suffering. All the pain and fighting to get her loved ones back. And yet, all she needed was you and it all fell perfectly into place. You were at first just hers. What had started as her in your mind, became her having your heart, and then she became yours. You belonged to each other and were equal, partners through everything and you both could finally just, relax.

—

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[punkshort]

Chapter warnings: language, violence, m masturbation, smut

Chapter Eight

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, pre-outbreak and post outbreak

AU (the only thing I kept was the outbreak, Joel, and Tommy's characters. Joel's backstory is different, and the way he finds Jackson is different. I may include Ellie one day, I just haven't planned that far)

Fic Summary: You worked for Joel and Tommy a few months before the outbreak. The outbreak happens, and you and Joel get stuck traveling the country and keeping each other safe. Neither of you spoke about the feelings you had for one another pre-outbreak, and in a post-apocalyptic world, it seems like survival should be your only focus. But feelings can't be ignored forever.

Fic tags: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Smut, Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader is 10 years younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing later but I will put a big warning on those chapters

Back in your apartment, the two of you set to work quietly organizing everything spread out on the living room floor that you could think of to pack. The biggest section was food. Luckily you were still used to a dorm room diet, so you had tons of useful items to take on the go. You had focused on the cans with protein like tuna, chicken and beans, then moved on to granola and protein bars, nuts, dried fruit, ramen noodles, cereal, instant rice and easy mac. Joel packed each of you a flashlight with extra batteries, and handfuls of matches and lighters he had found rummaging through your floor. Justin's camping equipment came with a canteen, plate, bowl, and foldable silverware for each, and a small first aid kit, which Joel significantly bolstered after raiding all the bathrooms on the floor.

He told you to only pack one or two extra sets of clothes, that you would have to break into houses or stores along the way if you needed more. He didn't want to waste the space in your packs that could be used for food and medicine.

You both set to work filling your bags with as much stuff as you could. Joel slipped a map into his pack that he had picked up from a kitchen drawer down the hall, and you had snuck in an unopened box of tampons and a folded up picture of your parents in yours when he wasn't looking.

It was around midday when you were all set to go, making sure to eat something left behind in your cupboards one last time.

You closed the door behind you, but you didn't lock it in case someone came along and needed something. Then sadly, you turned and gripped your baseball bat, following Joel down the long hallway, down the stairs and to the lobby.

Before Joel pushed the lobby door open to the outside, he turned to you.

"Which way's the subway?"

You pointed down the street to the right.

"It's about 3 blocks that way, not far. It's mostly all apartment buildings and a few stores on the corners."

Joel nodded, cracking the door open to listen for any sign of trouble. It sounded clear, so he ventured out to confirm before pulling you out behind him.

"We gotta be quick, but not too quick. Don't want to accidentally sneak up on somethin' out here," Joel explained in a hushed tone. "If you hear anythin', stop and don't make a sound. And you tell me if you see anythin' at all, understand?" You walked closely next to him as he was speaking, the whole time looking all around you frantically, your senses in overdrive, and your heart hammering in your chest. All you did was nod, not wanting to risk making too much noise.

The streets were quiet. Joel peeked around the corner and made sure no soldiers or infected were nearby before ushering you across the open street and back behind the safety of a building. One block down.

The two of you trotted down the sidewalk, swiveling your head around every few feet to see if there was anyone behind you. You almost made it to the next corner when Joel swung out his arm to stop you. You held your breath, heart racing as you focused on the noise he heard. It was the slow rumbling of an engine that reminded you of the FEDRA truck you heard patrolling outside your apartment last night. Joel must have figured that out, too, because he grabbed your arm and pulled you over to hide behind a dumpster that was sticking out of a narrow alley. You both crouched down and waited for the truck to pass. Fortunately, it didn't turn down the street you were on, where you would have been exposed.

Once the noise faded, Joel stood up slowly before motioning for you to follow. Again, he poked his head around the corner and took extra time to make sure no one was around before dragging you across the street once more. One more block to go.

You were halfway down the block as you passed a pawn shop, windows smashed in and the place ransacked. You grabbed Joel's arm and his head whipped around in a panic. You shook your head to tell him nothing was wrong and pointed into the pawn shop.

"Weapons?" you mouthed.

He hesitated a moment, trying to decide if you should press on or see if there was something useful in there before ultimately deciding to check it out. If the subway had infected in it, it would be better if there was more than just one knife between you. Joel stepped through the broken glass door carefully, glancing around at the small shop before holding his hand out to guide you through the opening. You both took a quick look around, noticing anything valuable was long gone, and most of the knives were picked over, but you did find a decent sized switchblade for yourself. You tucked it into your jeans pocket, and you carried on down the street towards the subway entrance.

You had a long way to go down the dark tunnel, but so far it had been quiet and uneventful. Your flashlight beams bounced off the brick walls as you walked in silence, trying to stay focused on your surroundings. Your anxiety spiked with every new subway station you passed, reminding you of just how much deeper into the city you were getting. From what the soldiers had said, more densely populated areas were worse off, and so far in your limited experience that had proven to be true.

You were two stations away from the one you stopped at for work when you first saw people. It was just two families, huddled together on the platform. They had seen your flashlights long before you saw them, so trying to sneak by was useless. They seemed like they were just innocent survivors, so Joel kept walking, holding his head up. He made eye contact with two of the men in the group and gave them each a firm nod, hoping to convey you were just passing through and not looking for trouble. They nodded back wordlessly, and you carried on your way.

The next station had more people who had sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, and lanterns. It looked like they were trying to wait it out underground long-term. A few of the men approached the end of the platform to address Joel.

"You soldiers?" one of them asked.

"No, just passin' through, tryin' to stay off the streets, sorry to disturb you all," Joel replied. He paused for a moment, and looked back at the men who were still watching you carefully. "Any of you see any infected down here?"

One of the men shook his head. "Nah, man, that's why we're sitting tight down here. Soldiers must be keeping them busy up top."

Joel nodded. "Thanks... good luck to you."

Finally, you approached your stop for work and found the platform to be filled with people, just like the previous one. They were kind and immediately helped you both up off the tracks. You introduced yourselves and explained you were headed to Joel's apartment not too far from there. One of the women, Josie, warned you the closer you got to the heart of the city, the worse it was.

"We heard, thank you. Once we get up top it won't be a long walk," you said, swiping the back of your hand across your forehead to clear the sweat collecting there. "We've been walking for hours. Joel?" You turned to him, interrupting a conversation he was having with Josie's husband, Peter. "Can we rest here for a bit?" Joel turned back to Peter.

"That ok with you folks?" he asked. Peter and Josie nodded, seemingly the leaders of the small group of strangers huddled on the platform.

The two of you slunk down against the tiled wall, pulling out protein bars and your canteens after sitting down. You shut your eyes for a few minutes, leaning the back of your head against the wall, chewing and grateful to be taking a break.

"You holdin' up alright?" Joel asked softly beside you. You nodded, keeping your eyes closed.

"I'm just tired," you replied, taking another bite of your protein bar without looking.

"It ain't much further, once we get on the street it's another few blocks. We should be able to get there before - "

Joel's sentence was cut short by screaming, and your eyes flew open in surprise as you dropped your protein bar and grabbed your bat while fumbling around in your pocket for the switchblade. Joel was already standing, gripping his bat and trying to locate the source of the scream in the group. One of the men, who looked asleep when you arrived, was snarling and had his teeth clamped down into the shoulder of an older man, blood pouring down his arm and soaking both of their shirts. Peter and another man jumped into action to pull the infected off the poor man screaming in agony, struggling to pin it to the ground.

Joel charged forward before you could stop him, your hands desperately clawing at his t-shirt, but he was already throwing himself into the group to help. You watched in horror as the three men struggled to hold it down, and just as Joel was getting ready to bash its skull in with the baseball bat, it lunged forward, knocking Peter and the other man off to the side and pushing Joel onto his back.

Joel held the infected up by its shoulders as it pinned him down, snapping and growling inches from his face. Joel's jaw was clenched tight, his eyes flashed with rage as he summoned all the strength he could manage and pushed it off him, making it stumble backwards. It was just enough time for Joel to reach to his side for his hunting knife and plunged it into the infected’s skull with a guttural yell.

The infected went limp immediately and fell to the floor. Joel stood over the body, tense, covered in blood, and panting heavily with the knife still clutched in his hand. Peter and the other man rushed to join the rest of the group helping the one who was bit in the shoulder, but you raced straight to Joel, wrapping your arms around him tightly. Surprised, he lifted one arm to place it reassuringly on your back, the other still clutching his knife.

You let him go, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks as you frowned at him angrily. He looked down at you, the adrenaline wearing off, and saw the anguish on your face. He reached his hand out to you, but you slapped it away and instead shoved his chest heatedly, making him stumble just a bit in surprise.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" you seethed, narrowing your eyes at him and fighting to keep the tears from falling. "You could have gotten killed!"

Joel stared at you, still panting slightly, then put the knife back in its holder. He couldn't gauge your reaction. Were you upset he would be killed because then you would be alone, or upset because of something else? He sighed and reached out to you again. This time, you didn't shove him, but you didn't go to him, either.

Josie approached you, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Joel, for saving my husband," she said, clutching his outstretched hand in her own, then turned to you. "Don't be mad at your boyfriend, dear, he just saved us all."

Your mouth fell open, and before you could correct her, she went back to Peter and hugged him tightly. Joel cleared his throat beside you, seemingly pleased with himself.

"You heard her," he winked at you. "Can't stay mad at me." You scowled back at him, and with a more serious tone, he added, "us or them, remember?"

You sighed, relaxing your brow. You knew he was right, but you were still pissed off. You turned on your heel and headed back to your abandoned protein bar, effectively ending the conversation.

Joel joined you and watched as the group deliberated quietly on how to deal with the man who was bit. You had learned he likely only had a few hours before he turned, based on the location of his bite. Ultimately, Peter volunteered, and he quickly and privately put the man out of his misery with a kitchen knife. You winced when you heard the squelch of blood from across the platform, burying your face in your shoulder.

You didn't stay much longer after that. Once Joel had gotten his strength back, you picked up your belongings and gave your farewells. Josie and Peter thanked Joel again, and you headed up to the familiar street corner, dusk fast approaching.

It took you both an hour to walk to Joel's apartment, which normally would have taken ten minutes, but he insisted on going slow and being careful at every turn. When you approached his building, you had to crane your neck all the way back to take in the full height. His building definitely used to have a doorman: it was fancy. You walked into the ornate lobby and turned around in a slow circle, taking in everything from the detailed crown molding to the beautiful, tiled floor that looked more like a piece of art. You almost felt bad for stepping on it. Even the ceiling was vaulted and decorated in tiny, intricate squares with gilded chandeliers hanging from it. Finally, you looked straight ahead and saw an arched window that overlooked a private garden.

"Shit," you whispered, "I almost got an apartment in this building."

Joel turned back to you, surprised, then realized you were being sarcastic when he saw your grin. He smiled to himself and shook his head, leading you down the hallway towards the stairwell door.

"I take it you're not on the second floor?" you asked him quietly as you began to climb the stairs.

"No, little higher than that," he replied. "30th floor."

You stopped dead in your tracks, which made him stop and turn back to you questioningly. He could tell what the problem was when he saw the pained expression on your face without you even having to speak.

"I know, it's gonna take us a while, but we can stop and rest whenever you need to." You sighed and hung your head, continuing your journey up the stairs.

You made it to the halfway point before you had to take a break, sitting on a step, panting and chugging water from your canteen while Joel leaned against the wall across from you, sipping his own water. The sun was going down, so you each dug your flashlights out of your packs before continuing.

"Not much further," Joel panted, turning the corner of another staircase, "then we can rest. No point in diggin' around in the dark, it's been a long day." You nodded, choosing not to speak to conserve your energy, and focused on the flashlight beam ahead of you.

You weren't sure how long it took, but finally you climbed the last step to face the door marked with a big, red "30". That's when you looked up and noticed you were on the top floor. Of course he lives on the top floor.

Joel pushed the door open a crack and peeked down the hall, which was very short and only had two doors and an elevator at the other end. He held the door open for you to walk through, then gently closed it. You frowned, looking back and forth at the two doors, puzzled.

Joel looked uncomfortable, shifting his weight when he saw your confusion, before mumbling, "It's a penthouse," and brushed past you to unlock his door.

You had never seen a penthouse before, but you knew they were for people who were really rich, especially in New York City. He opened the door, locking it behind you. You couldn't really see much other than what your flashlight exposed, but you could tell the room you were standing in was massive. You briefly flicked your light around, taking in some couches, bookcases, a fireplace and some other furniture. You stopped when you noticed the entire wall was top to bottom windows with a balcony attached, and covered your flashlight quickly. Joel kicked off his sneakers, and noticing the dimmer light, turned his flashlight to shine on you questioningly.

"Can't people see in? Like, the lights moving?" you asked. He shook his head.

"Privacy windows," he explained, then turned and headed towards another room. You quickly kicked your own shoes off, skittering after him, sticking close. The place was so huge you were afraid you'd get lost, and the darkness mixed with the eerie silence from lack of power and road noise made the hairs on your arm stand up. As you walked, you shined your flashlight on everything around you, baffled by how far the apartment seemed to stretch. You were so engrossed in your surroundings that you bumped into him when he had stopped walking.

"Oops, sorry," you whispered.

"Why are you whispering? We're safe here," he replied at full volume. You shrugged.

"I don't know, this place is huge, Joel, give me a minute - oh my god, is this your kitchen?!" you exclaimed as your jaw dropped, noticing the kitchen island in front of you that must have seated ten people. On one side. Easily. The island, made of marble or quartz, was white with silver and black specks. You noticed the counter was the same all over the kitchen, even on the built in bar in the corner. The cupboards were a light oak that was soft against your fingertips as you gently trailed them against the wood, wandering around his kitchen in amazement.

Joel watched you as you walked around his kitchen, gently touching the handles of the knives in the block and running your fingers along the countertop. You looked like you had never seen anything like this before, and his chest ached when he wondered what would have happened that night if you agreed to come home with him. You could have seen this place in a whole different light. He could have made you a drink from the bar and played you some music over the sound system. If he was lucky, he could have laid you down on the kitchen island you were so currently fascinated with, your fingers gripping the edges as he slipped his fingers inside your underwear to explore your soaking wet folds, pushing one finger inside you, and then another, slowly teasing you until you begged him for more.

Having you in his place was clouding his mind, he needed to focus. He cleared his throat before heading towards the pantry door. You eagerly followed closely behind and when you realized the pantry was a room as big as your own kitchen, you moaned with envy, causing his eyes to flutter shut momentarily.

"This place is amazing," you told him, sifting through the food on his shelves. You grabbed some peanut butter and crackers, turned and headed back to the kitchen.

"Where's the silverware?" you asked over your shoulder.

"Drawer next to the sink," he replied, and watched as you grabbed a butter knife. He picked up a can of Beefaroni off the shelf and opened the drawer in the kitchen with the can opener after picking a fork out from the silverware drawer you left open in your haste to eat.

He sat across from you at the island, eating his cold Beefaroni out of the can while you slathered crackers with peanut butter and popped them in your mouth. You smirked at his choice of food.

"Chef Boyardee?" you asked curiously, eyebrows raised. "I'm sure your private chef could have made you the real thing from scratch." Joel chuckled.

"Alright, I ain't got a private chef. Besides, this is the real thing. Nothin' beats it."

You smiled, fascinated that a man who lived in such a lavish apartment would have Beefaroni as his guilty pleasure. Feeling full and sleepy, you twisted the top of the peanut butter jar closed, and out of habit ran your tongue along the butter knife to clean it. You didn't even realize how that looked until you heard Joel's breath hitch and he looked down to study the empty can in front of him. Your cheeks felt warm from embarrassment, but luckily, he couldn't see it under the cover of darkness. You cleaned the knife (with a sponge, this time) and Joel's fork, putting them back in the drawer.

"Alright, let's get some shut eye. We should try to get an early start tomorrow, I want to get out of this city as soon as we can," Joel said, grabbing his pack he had set down when you walked in, and headed further down the hallway.

You followed him nervously, looking at the expensive-looking art on the walls and even a few statues on pedestals before reaching his bedroom. He pushed the door open, and your flashlights bounced around the room to illuminate the corners the moonlight hid from view. As expected, his bedroom was spacious with a bathroom and two walk-in closets attached. You noticed one of the closets was void of any clothes, and the other was packed to the brim. You poked your head in his bathroom, sighing enviously when you saw the huge, glass walk-in shower and built in vanity. You turned around to find Joel had dug out a couple lanterns from his closet and placed one on each end table so you could conserve your flashlight batteries. You clicked it off and walked over awkwardly, not sure what the sleeping arrangements should be. Unlike you, he has couches more than big enough to accommodate a grown adult, but the thought of being alone in the living room of this huge apartment made you nervous.

It hadn't even been a question in Joel's mind.

"Hop in and make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back," and he left the bedroom, back down the hallway to double check the locks. You rummaged in your pack for some more comfortable clothes to sleep in, and quickly changed before he returned, nestled under the covers on the most comfortable mattress you had ever been on in your life.

When Joel reentered the bedroom, his thoughts didn't even have time to catch up with how fast he felt the blood rushing to his cock. He squeezed his eyes shut as he blindly walked right to his closet and shut the door so he could change into his pajamas, willing his erection away. He groaned quietly, leaning his head against the wall of the closet, frustrated with how distracted he's been. If he doesn't stop, it could get you or him killed. He would have to do something about it before heading out tomorrow. He was lucky so far, you've had relatively safe places to hole up in, but that was going to end.

When he finally got himself under control, he exited the closet and got into the other side of the bed. You already had your lantern off and you were laying on your side with your eyes closed, exhausted from all the walking and events of the day. His bed was much larger than yours, and he hoped the extra space would help him get his mind out of the gutter. He turned his lantern off, and leaned back into the familiar pillow and sheets, closing his eyes. It was silent for a few minutes before you spoke.

"Joel?" you squeaked.

"Hm?" he replied, keeping his eyes closed.

"This is the nicest apartment I've ever seen, how long have you lived here?"

"About six years or so," he said, shifting a little under the covers. "But I like your place more," he admitted.

"My place?!" you said, outraged. "You could fit my entire apartment into this bedroom, you're crazy."

"Yeah, well, your place felt more..." he trailed off, trying to find the right word. "Like a home. This place feels like a museum."

"I'm sure you could make this place feel just as cozy," you yawned before adding, "this bed, for instance, is the most comfortable thing I've ever laid on." Joel smiled.

"Glad you like it." Sweetheart.

He waited until he was sure you were sleeping deeply enough before he locked himself into his bathroom and pulled his sweatpants down just far enough to free his throbbing cock, stroking it steadily with one hand while the other propped him up against the wall, eyes screwed shut. His thoughts picked up where he left off in the kitchen, his fingers deep in your pussy, but then he would add his thumb to your swollen clit, making your back arch off the cold counter and gasp his name. His thumb would pick up the pace, keeping up with your moans, rubbing tight circles and flexing and thrusting his fingers inside of you until your body finally stilled under him, whimpering his name as you came.

He imagined you gazing up at him hazily, the same way you looked at him last week outside the bar, but now you would reach out and grab the waist of his jeans, pulling him closer and whisper hoarsely to him, "Please, Joel, I need you, I need more..."

He imagined what it would feel like to slide inside you, your cunt soft and warm, so welcoming and taking him inch by inch. He would grasp your hips, his feet firmly on the ground and your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, one of your hands lost in your own hair and the other firmly holding onto his wrist, eyes rolled towards the back of your head, moaning, as he stretched you out. When he would start moving, he would go slow at first and enjoy the way your tits bounced gently along with his movements. He would do his best to take his time, but he imagined you asking him - begging him - to fuck you harder. Of course, he would give you what you wanted. He would slam into you, over and over, groaning as he would feel your cunt squeezing around him, warning him you were close. His thumb would travel down to your clit once again, pressing firmly from side to side until you were screaming his name and he felt your warm release spill over his cock.

"Fuck!" Joel grunted out into the darkness, as he shot thick ropes of cum over his hand and onto the tile floor, completely losing himself and forgetting to grab a tissue.  He stood there a few minutes, catching his breath, his forehead pressed against the bathroom wall. Finally, he pushed himself away and cleaned up his mess carefully, using his flashlight to make sure he didn't miss anything. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He hoped that would help keep him sharp and focused for tomorrow.

He opened the bathroom door quietly, relieved to see you hadn't moved a muscle since he left. You were still sleeping peacefully, facing his side of the bed with your lips slightly parted. He smiled at the sight, setting his flashlight down and about to slide back into bed when he heard a noise coming from down the hall. He froze, listening intently, trying to figure out the source. He glanced down at you once more to confirm you were still asleep and headed quietly out the bedroom door, carefully closing it behind him.

He walked down the hallway, now on high alert, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He walked by a statue, grabbing it and turning it upside down so the square base was upright in his hand. He gripped it tightly as he neared the kitchen, now hearing rustling and seeing a beam of light coming from the pantry. He glanced around the room before peering around the open pantry door, seeing someone crouched on the floor and rifling through his food, but all Joel could focus on was the revolver on the floor next to him, shining in the moonlight. Shooting one more glance over his shoulder, Joel stepped inside, silently placing the statue down on the floor, and then lunged forward, quickly wrapping his arm around the intruder’s neck, and using his other hand to lock his arm in place. Joel yanked them both up to a standing position, putting his foot over the revolver and shoving it under the shelves in the pantry, out of arms reach. The intruder slapped wildly at Joel's arms, then tried clawing at his face, desperate to loosen his grip so he could breathe, but Joel didn't budge, his grip strong and unmoving, his face contorted in a fury and a heat he never felt before. It didn't take long before the man passed out, but Joel held on a few minutes longer to make sure the air didn't revive him.

Once he was satisfied he was dead, Joel laid him gently on the pantry floor, frantically trying to catch his breath. He slowly picked the statue back up, temporarily forgetting about the gun, and then closed his eyes a moment as his breathing began to stabilize. He reopened them, nostrils flared, and jaw clenched. He needed to make sure the man was alone, and you were safe.

He left the pantry, glancing around the room once again before stepping forward. He was about to enter the hallway to head back towards the living room when something hard hit him across the chest, sending him crashing loudly back into the kitchen, dropping the statue. Joel gasped for air in the darkness, scrambling backwards and reaching around blindly to try to find his statue, but the other intruder kicked it away and pinned Joel down with his own baseball bat. The bat was being pressed to his throat, and Joel struggled to push against the man's weight.

"Who else is here with you?" the intruder sneered. Joel was barely able to make out his face in the darkness.

"No one," he gasped and shook his head, pushing back harder now that he was reminded of you sleeping sweetly in his bed, hoping and praying you stayed in there.

"Bullshit," the man spit. "I saw the shoes by the door. Maybe I'll have a little fun with her after I kill - "

Suddenly, the pressure was gone, and Joel coughed, holding his throat. He whipped around frantically, trying to find anything to use as a weapon, when he heard wet thumping over and over. He stood up, desperately trying to make his eyes adjust to the shadows. Remembering the flashlight, he scrambled back in the pantry and snatched it up, casting the beam of light over the scuffle.

You were bent over and brutally caving in the skull of the man who almost killed him.

Over and over, you aimed the corner of the statue at the man's disfigured face, beating him to a bloody pulp, the squishing sound of blood echoing in your ears. Joel calling your name and grabbing you around the waist was the only thing that stopped you. You dropped the statue and looked him in the eye, like a wild animal cornered and ready to strike. He grabbed your face, repeating your name until your eyes focused back on him. The enormity of what you did hit you in an instant: you just killed a man.

Tears welled up in your eyes and your lips trembled as you continued to stare into Joel’s eyes. He shook his head when he saw the emotion on your face.

“No. No, no, no, no. C’mere,” he said, pulling you into his embrace, and it was then you let the tears flow as you sobbed uncontrollably into his chest, gripping his t-shirt in your fist like a lifeline. He snaked his arm up your back, so his hand rested at the crown of your head, and his other arm tightly squeezed you around the ribs. You both slunk to the floor of his kitchen, holding onto each other for dear life, the horror of the world around you finally making its mark on you both.  

Chapter Nine

[notafragilething]

Late Night Buck & Tommy Rambles: Holy Shit Tonight is Chaos

Apparently me being back from chaos week triggered the powers that be to release a shit ton of interesting Buck & Tommy information over the last few hours. Like what the actual fuck is happening tonight. There is so much to discuss.

So let's get into what I've ALREADY talked about today before jumping into the new stuff.

If you missed my afternoon ramblings about Ryan's most recent interviews and how I think they indicate that buddie isn't happening anytime soon you can go back and read them here.

If you missed me talking about Tommy's name being in the synopsis for next week and why I think that indicates that's a really good sign for us Tommy fans click here.

Ok. Now for the new shit.

The Instagram reels of the BuckTommy Hospital kiss on the official Instagram broke a million views. Honestly, surprised by this because it had majorly slowed down as expected. There seemed to be a lot more views happening this week. It's now the 8th most viewed reels on their Instagram and is sitting around 88k in likes.

Spoilers ahead but behind the scenes photos just dropped and Tommy was onset for the hospital scenes and those seem to be from episode 10. Meaning that Tommy is likely going to appear in 6 out of the 10 episodes this season which is significant.

This also means that Lou has been real quiet about how much he's actually been filming on his cameos and I definitely think he got put in PR jail after doing the cameo from set at the medal ceremony (likely his first scene back after the original four episode arc).

[whythefuckwouldisayprinter]

my favorite 911 characters in order

1) eddie - you will never meet a fiercer eddie defender, he’s behind me as we speak. he is literally ME, yall dont understand (immigrant poc crumbling under the pressure they put themselves under)

2) ravi - does he have any business being this high seeing as he said all of three words last season? no. is he up here anyways because i project a TON onto him and his relationship with the 118? yes. also he’s soo babygirl i wanna shrink him and carry him around in my pocket

3) chimney - very confident in my top three; he’s never really made me upset, he’s so real and genuinely hilarious

4) hen - honestly she kinda gets in my nerves sometimes but she’s just like me - gay, black, indecisive as hell, thinks everyone around her is a little stupid, likes to day drink

5) karen - gay, black, rocket scientist, love

6) buck - it might be the fandoms incessant infantilization of him that ranks him the lowest of the 118 (that wasn’t just a default like bobby) but he just doesn’t do it for me (love him though, don’t play)

7) maddie - saur cute but gives penelope garcia sometimes (who i love very much). like im not saying she should be less empathetic but at a certain point we’ve gotta thicken our skin. love love love her though

8) bobby - it’s not that i don’t like bobby, i just like so many other characters more that him

9) tommy - love him but there’s no substance

10) athena - really can’t behind the copaganda, especially the way she does it

inspired by @coolguyincsworld (except i run my mouth like it’s nobody’s business)

[lemotmo]

Okay I asked and Ali said it was okay to share if you were okay. I'm so glad to hear that things have calmed down for you ❤️

Q. Do you think this same sort of thing would have happened if they had kept the story about Eddie instead of Buck?

A. I think lots of things would be different if they had stuck to the original Eddie plan. Firstly, no, what happened this off season would not have happened if it had been Eddie. The second thing we would have avoided was Eddie's entire 7b storyline. With the benefit of hindsight it was a mistake to change direction. I understand why they did it. I completely understand. Buck's coming out was always going to be the 'easier' one to tell. Eddie's is going to require more story time, so in a shortened season I understand the appeal of going with Buck first. But that change brought in a ton of things that would have been otherwise avoided. And I would bet if the show could do it over again they would keep the story with Eddie. They could have devoted episodes 7-10 to Eddie's arch and have it lead into season 8 thereby avoiding all the nonsense of 7b. Now having said that, Buck is an audience favorite so if they were a little worried about how it was going to go over with the audience, having Buck go first was the safest choice. So, again, I understand why they swapped them.

If it had been Eddie the Tommy factor would have been avoided all together. He would have been gone immediately following episode 4 because the kiss is all that would have been needed to cause Eddie's spiral. Which means that we would have avoided the cameo nonsense and fallout all together. There would have been no more screentime for Lou to promote himself with. But the minute they swapped Eddie for Buck it was going to take something more than just a kiss to get Buck where they need him to be story wise. Which meant more Tommy. At that point the group of faux Buddie fans, who really just wanted to see Buck kiss a man, attached themselves to Tommy and everyone else became an enemy. Especially Eddie. Right then Eddie became a character they suddenly had to distance Buck from in order for their version to work. So they started tearing down Eddie as a character, and screaming that everyone else was to blame for liking Eddie. Then they said the audience was making up the entire Buck/Eddie dynamic and there was never anything there. While they were doing this they were taking all of Eddie's characteristics and canon history, that were supposedly awful, and applying them to Tommy. So all of those characteristics and history when attached to Eddie make him a horrible match for Buck, and terrible character, but when they take those same points and apply them to Tommy it makes Tommy a god. You cannot make this nonsense up. Then crazy of crazy Buck inexplicably also got completely erased by them. His entire reason for being, for them, became being saved by Tommy. Suddenly they were telling people Buck wasn't capable of doing anything for himself if Tommy wasn't there. He wasn't capable of speaking for himself, wasn't capable of being a competent firefighter, wasn't capable of loving or being loved and wasn't capable of seeing the people around him, especially Eddie, for what they truly are if Tommy wasn't around to tell him. So yes things would be drastically different if they had kept the original plan and gone with Eddie first. We would have avoided absolutely all of this. *Sigh*

Thank you Nonny. Yeah, I just decided to go for it. I mean, some people will never learn that this kind of behaviour doesn't solve anything. I'm tired of it. I'm just going to go ahead and keep on posting. We'll see what happens.

I agree with Ali's post. If they had stuck with Eddie first, none of this would have happened. We would not be in this mess.

However...

I admit that, selfishly I will be eternally grateful that they didn't go with the original Eddie/Tommy kiss storyline. Even with all the mess it brought and the craziness that came along as a consequence of that not happening. I'm still happy it wasn't Eddie.

I fully admit that Eddie is 'my guy' on this show. He is the one I look for in any scene. I love all the characters on this show so much, but Eddie? He is the character I feel most connected to. Starting his story with Tommy and that kiss? Every fibre of my being is yelling: NO! It would not have been the way to go at all. I can't explain it. There's no logical reasoning behind it. It's purely emotional.

But the fact that we are in this mess today is also something that no one could have completely predicted. All of the dominoes that fell to get us in this situation, were out of sync. So, I don't know. Could all of this have been avoided? Not completely, but to a certain degree? Yes, it could have. I personally think those cameos did the most damage. They fueled those fans to make Tommy into this amazing character who could do no wrong and who was perfect for Buck. It fed a fantasy that had nothing to do with the reality of the show.

But, we are here now and we need to get through this. I do think that the ending of this mess is in sight. It won't be too much longer now.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[whoops-im-obsessed]

Moments I loved in Newsies London

UKsies is a fansie's dream, every member of the cast is so in character even after the show ends and it leads to brilliant moments and interactions such as these:

*spoilers under the cut*

During 'Santa Fe (prologue)' there is fully a newsie undressing on the side of the stage, if you're sitting in the Bronx you'll get a lovely view

Zipline

Specs breaks up a fight between Race and Albert before 'Carrying the Banner' even starts

Crutchie has his own slingshot and shoots various members of the cast with varying degrees of accuracy

*steals apples from fruit cart, celebrates, gives one to a newsie sat alone*

Splasher jumps a skipping rope, he then proceeds to do a back flip in said skipping rope. You'll be hearing more about Splasher (Ross Dorrington) he is Something Else

Race actually smokes his cigar and blows the smoke in Morris' face

Splasher gets yeeted, cheerleader style

Oscar deliberately takes the paper from Davey's stack

Les makes sure to show his sad face to each side of the audience

Newsie fully asleep on the stairs on the side of the stage during 'The Bottom Line'

'Football? VIOLENT'

Davey tries to sell his last paper to the audience 'paper for you? Nope? Okay then :(

Les blows a bowery beauty a kiss and she gives him a feather, adorable

Couple of newsies watch Medda's show ('she's talking to me!' 'Nah, she's talking to me')

One of the newsies (?Race) nods his head along to all the knocks in 'Don't Come a-Knocking'

Bowery beauty kick line punctuated with 'woo!'s

Flirting 101 with Jack: 'the new york sun? I work for the world :D' *swings his legs and shows off his newsie bag proudly*

There is so much hugging in this show, this cast is so affectionate, its adorable

'AiNt wE tHe HoI PoLlOi'

'We got a ton of rotten fruit and perfect aim' *slingshots newspapers everywhere*

References to bway seize the day choreo in world will know

'Who wants Brooklyn?' (?race or tommy boy, couldn't see) *puts cap over face and plays dead*

Jack stays to talk to Katherine instead of going with the boys, Crutchie tries to get his attention - 'Jack come on! Oh for God's sake' and walks off. From where I was sat it sounded like ffs

The newsie wheeling Katherine's chair on stage for 'Watch What Happens' rides on it and goes 'woo!', she thanks them

side note: Matthew Duckett's Crutchie uses his crutch on the (technically) correct side, i.e. opposite side to injury, random but we love to see some medical accuracy in our shows lol

Crutchie initiates fighting the scabs and looks disappointed when he's stopped

Splasher doing no less than 10 box jumps in a row, possibly more

Splasher gets yeeted pt2

Les ascending

Crutchie using his crutch as a jousting pole

'They're slaughtering us!' *Splasher gets yeeted pt3*

Act 2

Cup clinkage

Driving the tables like cars around in kony - 'Zyoom!!!"

Ascension

Katherine's fork crown, apple orb and paper scepter

Crutchie breaking the forth wall and grinning conspiratorially at the audience in 'Letter from the Refuge'

Specs coming to get the letter from Crutchie and a refuge newsie helping him offstage

Jack putting les on his shoulders in 'Watch What Happens (reprise)'

Jack dusting himself off a seat in Pulitzer's office

The general reaction to Brooklyn

Jack hurriedly taking down his drawings when Katherine's there and hesitating before taking down a pic of (who I assume to be) Crutchie

'These kids put out a pretty good papeeerrrr' *runs away from pulitzer*

Roosevelt handshake fangirling

Spot intimidating Pulitzer

Crutchie wearing a police hat when he comes back in ('aint been the same without ya man!')

Crutchie holding his character and wincing to himself after getting his papers in the finale

'You already work for my father' - cue Crutchie breaking the 4th wall again to look directly at me and call Jack a numbnuts

Race greeting Wiesel with 'hey beautiful'

Spot to other newsies 'im not scary!' *hugs*

*standing ovation*

[slutforelliealways]

Can’t move on ElliexFemmeReader

Synopsis: You were with Ellie when she took her revenge on Abby, you were with her when she was healing from her loss of Joel. You patched her up every time she was injured and held her in every panic attack. So when she up and broke up with you because things got hard for you years later, it wasn’t so easy to forgive her.

Part of this story is inspired by the song Watermelon Moonshine by Lainey Wilson, you'll know it when you get to it I don't wanna spoil too much. Lots of fluff and angst. Some smut and fluff with smut, also arguing and like mean Ellie at some points. Also there's a shit ton of flashbacks to different points in their relationship. This is long as fuck but I wasn't sure when a good stopping point was. Hopefully, you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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“Are you serious? You’re just gonna up and leave? Ellie please! We have a life together we have a home and a future here, you can’t just let that go!” Your eyes were stinging, you’d been going at it for hours now trying to keep her from leaving.

“I’m sorry, this just isn’t right for me anymore. I’ve got to be on my own for a while.” She was packing her bags and hadn’t looked at you since she started the argument.

“So what I’m just supposed to wait around for you to come back? Hoping you’ll snap out of whatever the fuck this is?” You threw your hands up in defeat. “You know what?”

“What y/n?”

“Fuck you! Keep the house, i don’t want to live with your ghost.” You grabbed your bag and stuffed it with as many clothes it would fit and walked out the door.

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That was the last time you’d spoken to Ellie Williams in two years, Ellie had came in around year five or six of you living there (you’d been in Jackson for 12 years total), she had Joel with her and you knew of him from his brother Tommy and his wife Maria. They had wanted you to stay with them but you insisted you could take care of yourself, this was true. Your parents had both gotten bit trying to keep you out of harms way early on in life, you’d been on your own since you were 10. You spent six months surviving the harsh world on your own until you stumbled onto the small town of Jackson one early morning, since then you’d become a valued member of society there. It started with gardening and tending to the animals, once you hit 16 you were allowed to do patrol with Tommy or Joel for a while. Finally you’d become their sneakiest and stealthiest soldier and they trusted you to do pretty much anything you wanted, this was when Ellie was finally allowed to go out and they set you two up so you could show her the ropes.

Your romance started off sweet and innocent at first, simply flirting and laughing on your patrols. Racing your horses and dodging any danger you couldn’t outrun. Ellie’s crush was a lot more obvious at first than yours was, you’d never been romantically involved with anyone let alone a girl. Sure a few boys had approached you throughout your time at Jackson but it never went past the first date. Your first kiss was Dina and it was on a dare from spin the bottle, she started dating Jesse shortly there after so you never even had the chance to catch a crush on her. Ellie was gentle before Joel passed, it was a different side of her that you’d hoped would come back one day. You spent years patching her back together, being patient when she had her mean moments and lulling her back to sleep after a nightmare. So when she came home one day and just started packing her bags it hit you like a ton of bricks.

You’d managed to move on with life after a few months of mourning, taking your old patrol back and hanging out with your friends in your spare time. While Ellie and you had been gone avenging her late father, Dina and Jesse had started a family of their own. JJ their son, was a cute chunky little boy. Dina loved being a mother and had since stopped doing patrols since it was so dangerous, Jesse wanted to keep protecting Jackson and knew his best shot at staying alive was doing patrols with you. This routine stayed put for almost a full two years, until one morning you heard a knock on your door.

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“I’m coming Jeez! Let me put some clothes on.” You shouted at whoever was standing on the other side.

“Hurry up!” It was Tommy.

You sniffed around for something clean or just clean enough and threw it on, opening the door to a blizzard and a frozen Tommy standing in front of you. “What can I do for you Mr. Miller?”

“Please, you’ve called me Tommy since you got here don’t switch it up now. I need to ask you a favor.” He took a step forward to incline you to invite him in.

“Oh sorry, come on in. Place is a mess but it’s not yours so I won’t apologize.” You snickered, waving him inside and taking a seat at your dinner table. “What’s the favor you need?”

“Got any coffee?” He asked.

“You know I do, is that the favor?”

“Make us some would ya?” He pointed to the coffee maker.

“Sure.” You rolled your eyes and got up.

“Listen kid, I wouldn’t ask you this if I had any other choice.” He was speaking low and hesitantly.

“Are you gonna keep tip toeing around the subject till we both die or you gonna spill the beans?” You put the coffee maker on and turned around, leaning against your counter you crossed your arms and tilted your head at him.

“It’s about your route for patrol.” He bowed his head, “I tried bargaining with Maria but you know how she is.”

“She switching my route up or something?”

“She’s switching your partner.” He looked up at you with sympathy.

“To who?”

“I’m real sorry kiddo-“

“Who Tommy!” You stepped forward.

“Ellie.”

“No.”

“Now look I know things got… weird between you two but-“

You shook your head and chuckled out of anger, “I’m not fucking doing a route with her. She can find another partner, or she can go fuck herself i don’t really care. Why is this even happening?” The coffee maker beeped and you snapped around to shut it off.

“Listen, Maria needs more experienced people to take the longer routes. Dina doesn’t want Jesse going that far out with them havin a kid and all, you and Ellie ain’t got much to lose and you’re far more experienced. You’re a good team kid.” He eyeballed the coffee maker and you rolled your eyes before pouring him a cup and handing it to him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. You can take it to-go, I’ve heard enough from you.”

“Now cmon y/n!”

“I’ll do it.”

Tommy’s face froze in a shocked expression before his lips curled up into a smirk, “you’re really doin me a solid here. I owe ya one!”

“Your wife owes me one. You owe me a few, now get the fuck out please. I need to get ready for my shift.” You opened your front door and gestured for him to leave.

“Give me a hug so I know you’re not mad at me.” He reached his arms out.

“Fuck off.” You leaned in and nuzzled into his jacket. He smelled so much like Joel it made your eyes water. “Get out!” You shoved him lightly and he chuckled as he headed out back into the snow.

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You made sure to take a shower before leaving your house, even did your two braids extra neat to keep your hair out of your face before throwing on your dark grey beanie. You picked out your second warmest jacket, the first one being the one Ellie had gifted you for christmas one year.

“I found it while Joel and I were exploring an abandoned mall. Figured it’d keep you warm during the harsh winters. Can’t have my girl freezing while she’s protecting the town!”

You shuddered at the memory and snatched the other light brown jacket and threw it on, all your supplies were neatly packed into your dark green backpack and you were sure you hadn’t forgotten anything. You took one final deep breath before heading out to the stables to get your horse, and see Ellie again.

“Hey y/n!”

“Hey Seth! How’s my boy doing?” You waved at the stable boy and approached your horse Bentley.

“He’s a strong one! Tried reigning him in last night and he knocked me over twice, you must be teaching him to do that!” Seth laughed as he handed the reigns to you.

“Yeah maybe, it’s a good trick out there. Should teach him when and when not to do it though, sorry about that.” You patted Seth’s shoulder and saw him smile to himself. Seth was one of the boys you’d gone on a date with back when you were teenagers, he was so smitten by you that you had to cut it short and go home. It didn’t feel right leading a boy on just because you wanted to make Tommy and Maria happy by finding a partner.

“Oh hey Ellie!” Seth waved behind you and you whipped your head around to see the girl you’d been avoiding for years.

“Wassup Seth!” She waved back. Before getting a good look at her you snapped your head back to your horse.

“What’re you doing here? You’re usually second shift I thought.”

“Yeah i uh, my shift got switched to first.” She rubbed the back of her neck and avoided eye contact with you.

“Alright thanks Seth I’m gonna take Bentley to the gates okay. I’ll see you when I get back if you’re still here!” You gave his hand a quick squeeze and took Bentley with you out.

You hadn’t even made it fully to the gate before hearing hooves quickly trotting behind you, “wait up!”

“Keep up!” You shouted back at the auburn haired girl.

“I’m trying but you’re walking too fucking fast.” She said out of breath as she caught up beside you. “You done this route before?”

“Every fuckin day.” You huffed out, not even looking her direction just staring straight ahead.

“Alright. You gonna ignore me the whole time?” She leaned her head forward trying to catch your eye. Her hair was different, no longer in the bun she usually had it up in. She had half of her hair down and the other half tied up, some of the shorter pieces were framing her face and brushing her cheeks. She looked good, but you couldn’t acknowledge it.

“Just about.” You scoffed and started walking faster.

“We have to be around each other all day y/n. You can’t at least pretend to be cool with me?” She sped her walk up to keep up with you.

“Ellie, i- we’re cool okay? Just don’t feel like talking.” You came to a halt and turned to finally face her.

She froze in place, she hadn’t caught up with how you looked either. Your hair had grown, you’d gotten some new piercings and tattoos from cat. You looked older, more mature and more like a woman and not a girl. “Wow.” She gasped.

“What?” You spat out.

“You look- just, wow.” She looked you up and down and then up and down again. A smirk formed on her lips and she shifted her weight from one hip to the other.

“Thanks? Cmon we’re gonna be late.” You started walking fast again trying to get ahead of her so you could freak out for a second without her seeing.

You got to the gates and met up with the rest of the groups that were going out, Jesse walked up to you. “Dude I am so sorry I didn’t know she’d pair you up with… her.” He pointed to Ellie.

“It’s fine. You’ve got more to lose than either of us do so it makes sense they switched us, we’re good don’t sweat it.” You gave him a hug and hopped up on your horse.

“Alright gang we’ve got some new procedures to instill! First off we’re happy to see some new faces going out today, don’t worry you’re all in good hands. For the not new guys, as usual be safe and don’t run into the fire if you don’t have to. If you see anything unusual just log it down and come straight back home!” Maria looked at you when she said the last part, you’d been known to handle dangerous situations by yourself. It wasn’t that she didn’t think you couldn’t handle it, it was the fact that you were the closest thing her and Tommy had to a daughter so losing you would ruin their world. You nodded at her and she dropped her gaze and continued, “for my new routers and new partners, be a good team. Work together, and remember to communicate a lot and keep conversation going to ensure you’re both okay. Everything else you should already know. Now go, be safe and come back to us!” She nodded for the guys to open the gates and two by two every pair rode off and split to their respected routes.

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You and Ellie rode in silence for a while, she’d ask a question or try and crack a joke and you’d simply respond by humming to yourself. After a couple hours she finally gave up and simply rode next to you, once you’d gotten about halfway through your route you found a good spot to have lunch and you paused and hopped off Bentley. You tied him up to a tree and plopped yourself down on a tree that had fallen a couple harsh winters ago, Tommy had pointed it out and you made a mental note of it as a check point if you ever got lost.

“We can stop here for a bit, I’m hungry.” You announced dryly.

“Sounds good I’m starving!” She hopped down from her horse shimmer and tied her up next to Bentley. She eagerly sat down next to you and began rummaging through her bag for food.

“You didn’t bring anything did you?” You more stated than asked her. You knew she hadn’t, her appetite hadn’t been the greatest but neither had her memory, back when you did patrol with her you always had to share your lunch with her since she always left hers somewhere else.

“No I did I know it’s in here some-“ you shoved your sandwich bag in her face which had half a chicken sandwich in there. “Oh, thanks.” She smiled at you.

“Yup.” You took a bite to prevent you from having to say anything else.

“So how’ve you been?” She said with her mouth full.

“Huh?”

“Sorry”, she swallowed, “how’ve you been?”

“Fine.” You took another bite.

“Just fine?” She questioned.

“What exactly are you expecting to come out of this conversation Ellie?” She looked shocked at your statement, you’d never been harsh with her before. Always gentle and coddling, she was supposed to be the harsh and mean one.

“Look I know I fucked up but just hear me out-“

“Fucked up? Fucking up is burning the coffee, missing a step on the stairs, letting the dog out without a leash, and dropping paint on your shoes. You broke up with me because I started having nightmares and you couldn’t handle them. You didn’t fuck up Ellie you fucked me. You dipped and I never heard from you again. So please spare me the theatrics and apologies and let’s just keep this professional okay?” Your appetite was gone and you threw the remainder of your sandwich out in the woods.

"I could have ate that", she exclaimed.

"You've already taken enough from me." You snapped back and stood up. "We'd better get going, the sun is gonna start setting soon and I don't wanna get caught in the dark." You undid Bentley's reign, shimmers too, and handed her off to Ellie before mounting Bentley.

"How much further up do we need to go?" She shouted from behind you.

"Couple more miles! Then we just make our way back, it's a super easy route it's just longer than what you're used to." You shouted back at her.

"Alright, just don't leave me in the dust. You're pretty good at that." She shouted before catching up to your speed.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She laughed.

You took that as a challenge and whipped Bentley's reigns to make him speed up, you may have been the fastest on foot but Bentley was the fastest horse in the stables. You picked him out because of how difficult he had been as a baby, stubborn and unwilling to listen to any of the trainers. Once he met you though, someone equally as stubborn, he quickly obeyed every command you gave him. It was a match made in heaven, two stubborn individuals that came together as a perfect pair. You looked back to see if Ellie had caught on to what was happening, she was grinning from ear to ear at the race. "Come on keep up!" You shouted back to her.

"No fair you got a head start!" She squealed.

"Never stopped you before." You leaned forward to get less air traction and a better grip on Bentley. He felt the interaction and pounced forward to gain more speed, as you reached the top of the route you were on you sat up straight and Bentley came to a pause. "See that wasn't so bad was it?" You turned around to face Ellie who still had some distance to go. You laughed at how she struggled catching more speed and pretended to tap a watch on your wrist as she caught up with you almost a full minute later.

"Whatever you said I didn't hear it, I see you and Bent still have your weird little connection. How'd you get him to listen to you like that anyways?" She was breathing heavily and trying to play it off.

"Had a lot of time to train him after... I just had a lot of free time for a while. He's only four so we still have a long ways to go, but he does okay." You tried to chuckle off your stutter and looked down at Bentley's mane.

"Can we please talk about it?" She pleaded with you.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Y/n! You know there is."

"Ellie, you're pushing it." You warned her.

"Okay, okay fine." She put her hands up in surrender.

You rolled your eyes, "We need to get back now, write down that everything was clear and then just follow closely behind me okay?"

"I always do."

"What? Write it down?" You raised your brow.

"Follow closely behind you."

You took off on Bentley and didn't look back, you needed to cry without her seeing. You knew when to slow down so Shimmer could catch up but for just a couple minutes you needed to just sob into Bentley's mane and pretend you were alone. As much as you wanted to believe you had healed from your breakup it was clear there was still some wounds that needed healing, you knew talking about it could help but it just wasn't in the cards for you right now. The idea of sitting across from the girl who broke you and explaining to her how just felt like a bullet to the chest, which you could accurately describe seeing as you'd taken one. For her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ride home took half the time it took to get to the lookout post, you rode in silence once again and this time Ellie didn't bother saying anything. She hummed to herself a familiar tune you just couldn't quite make out, it drove you so crazy you started humming your own tune. The same tune Maria would hum to you when she was cutting your hair or cooking for you and Tommy, it was some country song she said she would have given anything to see live. You never did get that stupid song out of your head. As you approached the gates you saw Jesse and his partner coming in from the East, he waved at you and you guided Bentley toward his horse.

"So how was patrol for you?" He awkwardly chuckled.

"Fine." You said dryly.

"Better than me then, my partner is the new guy Jordan. Fucking idiot I tell ya, never seen an infected before and just had to check it out! Had to save his ass like four times before he finally stopped approaching them head on."

"Hey Jesse, are we still on for drinks later?" Ellie had ridden over and joined in on the conversation.

"Uh yeah, Dina wanted to join that cool?" Jesse looked back and forth between you and Ellie awkwardly. "Y/n you wanna join?"

"Oh... no thanks I'm pretty tired. Maybe next time yeah?" You started guiding Bentley away from the pair.

"Just one drink!" Ellie shouted.

"Huh?" You stopped in your tracks.

"Just one drink, then you can go home and sleep." She approached next to you and had a pleading look in her eyes.

"I uh, can I shower first?"

"Yeah, yeah of course! Shower and then meet us all at the Tipsy Bison, I'll save you a seat." She smiled and wandered in the gates.

You stayed in place shocked that you'd agreed to go. "She still wants you you know, maybe you should give her a second chance." Jesse said now next to you.

"Maybe you should fuck off and go home to your girl and kid before I steal your place as JJ's father." You laughed and wandered into the gates of Jackson.

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"You're Ellie right?"

"Oh, yeah hey. I assume you're y/n?" The shy auburn-haired girl asked.

"You'd assume correctly!" You reached your hand out for her to shake it. "We're on patrol together today, so just stick to whatever I do and we should be good!"

She took your hand and shook it, "Sounds good. I've heard you're like the best soldier we've got here."

"Maybe not the best but, yeah you know what I am the best." You chuckle.

"Nobody mentioned how pretty you were gonna be. I feel stupid for my appearance now." She rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment.

"Oh!" You blushed, "You look fine. I mean... you look good! I'm sorry, I'm like naturally fucking awkward."

"No! Don't even worry about it I am too, sorry I honestly shouldn't have said anything. Not that I didn't mean what I said I mean you are super pretty I just-"

"Ellie." You put your hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah y/n?"

"You wanna grab your horse and meet me by the gates?" You nodded at Shimmer.

"Yeah, I'll see you there." She smiled at you and exhaled heavily.

"Don't make me wait." You winked and grabbed Bentley.

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As you stood in the bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror you couldn't help but wonder what tonight's events would entail, would you end up in a fight with Ellie? Would you make up? Would you make out? You brushed your hair out and put on your best going-out clothes, along with your warmest jacket. You took your time with the brisk walk over to the bar, the jacket had been a smart move because as the sun went away so did any warmth it had brought on earlier in the day. You walked up the steps and paused at the door to sneak a peek to see who was inside, as promised Ellie had saved you a seat right next to her. Your face went warm and you suddenly felt excited to go in, your happiness faltered when you remembered who you were getting excited about and you took a step back from the door. What the fuck am I doing? You thought to yourself, without thinking you found yourself turning around and heading back to your place. You had just barely made it off the steps when you heard the door open and the little bell ring, "Hey y/n! Where ya going? I saved you a seat."

You paused and turned around to face her, "Oh, hi Ellie. Sorry I didn't see you guys in there so I thought maybe you cancelled plans and I didn't get the memo or something."

"Yeah sure, just come in." She stepped down and held her hand out for you to grab.

You walked past her and into the bar, "Dina!"

"Hey honey how are you!" The brunette stepped out of her seat and walked toward you with her arms stretched out for a hug. "It's been a while since I've seen you in here. It's good to have you back!"

"I'm not back, just out for the night. How have you been?"

"I asked you first." She smirked and glanced over at Ellie who was defeatedly sitting back in her seat awaiting your attention.

"I've been... you know." You shrugged.

"Hiding away in your dungeon."

"Yeah." You chuckled, "I guess I have."

"Well you're here now, that's all that matters." She nudged your shoulder and went back to her seat next to Jesse.

"Nice to see you out y/n." Jesse exclaimed before taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah babe we already had this talk." Dina nudged his shoulder hard.

"Ow! Okay sorry I didn't know."

"It's fine, really." You assured him. "I think I'm gonna go grab a drink, I'll be back. Anyone want anything?" You got out of your seat and headed to the bar before anyone could reply.

"Hey honey, wasn't expecting to see you here." Maria was tending the bar and already had your drink ready for you.

"Hi." You tried to avoid speaking to her. It was her fault you'd even opened this can of worms to begin with.

"You gonna be mad at me forever?" She questioned.

"Just until you switch my patrol partner."

"I didn't assign you to her, she asked. So you might want to redirect your anger to the little auburn girl staring at you over there." She pointed to Ellie who looked away as soon as your gaze landed on her.

"What do you mean she asked?"

"I mean she came to our house last night and asked to be your patrol partner from now on, said Dina and Jesse agreed to vouch for her if you asked. Sweet Pea I would never have done this had I known you'd be so upset with me. You know I love you." Maria leaned over the bar and reached for your hand.

You reached out and took her hand, "Thanks for the honesty. I'll see you later, I gotta go." You turned around only to be paused by Maria speaking again.

"Give the poor girl a break, she's lost a lot."

"And I haven't?" You snarled as you turned around to face her again.

"I didn't say that I just-"

"God! Everyone in this fucking town coddles her like she's the only person here who's been hurt or lost someone. It's like everyone watches out so we don't hurt poor, broken, fragile Ellie. Give me a fucking break would ya, she's fine! She's happy, smiling, and hanging out with my friends. So please can everyone just spare me the theatrics and leave me the fuck out of her drama. I want a new patrol partner immediately!" You hadn't noticed you were shouting and that everyone in the bar had paused what they were doing to stare at you. Including Dina, Jesse, and Ellie. "Shit." You stormed out of the bar and speed-walked back to your house.

"Y/n wait up!" You heard footsteps behind getting closer to you.

"Go away Ellie please, I don't wanna talk to-" She grabbed your arm and spun you around to face her.

"Then just listen!" She was breathing heavily and her nose was pink from the cold, "I, am so sorry! I'm so sorry for leaving you, for never picking up your pieces after you spent so long putting me back together. I'm sorry for taking your friends from you, for acting like you didn't exist. I'm sorry for-"

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"What the fuck is going on with you? You're like so weird right now, constantly shutting down, you won't even touch me anymore." Ellie was blocking the door trying to get you to talk to her.

"Please just let me leave, I'll come back but I've got patrol." You were trying to shove past her but she was must stronger than you were.

"Please y/n I'm begging you, talk to me. Say something, anything!"

"I'm telling you, I need to go before Maria gets on my ass."

She didn't respond, she just stepped out of the way and opened the door for you.

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"Not being there for you when you needed me most." She had her hands on your shoulders to keep you in place while she spoke.

You felt frozen, your face was cold and you were fighting back tears, "Fuck you, Ellie." Was somehow the only sentence you managed to spit out.

She blinked hard and tried to keep her face from looking shocked, she wasn't. She knew you had no idea about the times she stood outside your door for hours hoping you'd need something from town and bump into her. How many times on patrol she'd found flowers or a cool gadget and brought it home with her with the intention of bringing it to you, or the number of times she'd left a letter on your front porch only to snag it back before you went out for your morning shift. Ellie knew all you had received was radio silence from her end, so she released her grip on your shoulders and let you walk again.

"That's what I thought." You spit out and turned toward your home. You made a quick turn down and alley and blocked the world out for the rest of your walk, your tears felt as if they were burning your cheeks and you tried wiping them off but they were streaming quicker than you could wipe.

You saw your house and sped up to a jog, you busted through the gate and headed up the stairs. "I don't have my fucking keys." You wined out loud.

"I do."

You turned slowly and faced the voice. "Why do you have my keys?"

"You dropped them when you ran away from me", Ellie was holding your keys up and shaking them at you. "I brought whiskey."

"How the hell did you get a whole bottle?"

"Joel had it in his house, I figured he'd been saving it for a special occasion so I saved it for one too." She approached you slowly.

"Just unlock my door for me would ya? You can come in if you must." You slapped your door and waved for her to speed her walk up.

"Yes ma'am!" She smirked and ran up your stairs for the door. "Here hold this." She handed you the bottle of whiskey as she fiddled with the lock.

"Hurry up it's fucking freezing." You laughed as you bounced a little trying to keep warm.

"I'm trying it's a tough door ba- y/n." She cleared her throat.

"Try harder." You huffed.

"Got it." She shoved her shoulder into the door and it busted open.

"Careful! I don't feel like having to ask Tommy over to fix the door, he'll drink all my coffee."

"You'd have the same issue with Joel." She laughed.

Her laugh caught you off guard, not because she didn't laugh ever but because she laughed in the same sentence Joel's name was mentioned. Anytime Joel was brought up in conversation in the past Ellie would simply bow her head and leave the room on some poor excuse like she needed to use the bathroom or she needed a shower. You knew she was leaving because she needed to catch her breath before a panic attack set in, you'd usually follow shortly after to talk her down before she blacked out. This went on for a year and a half, you spent all your time making sure she was okay by the time your body had caught up on your own trauma. She was healed and ready for the next chapter in life, one without panic attacks and night terrors. So you healed in silence, which to no surprise wasn't very effective. For two years you talked yourself down from every panic attack, every meltdown, and every blackout. Not a single soul in your entire town had any idea you were falling apart behind closed doors, you were ten years old again and screaming silently for help. The only person you wanted around had decided you were too much, or not enough. Just not what she needed anymore, so she let you go.

"You owe me a drink for letting you in here." You say to her as you throw your shoes off.

"I owe you a drink? You wouldn't even be in here if I hadn't brought your keys to you." She laughed again a bit louder this time.

"I wouldn't gotten locked out of my own house had you not begged me to come to the bar." You turned toward her with your eyebrows raised.

"I guess you're right about that." She bowed her head and rubbed her neck.

"So yeah, you owe me a drink."

"I guess I do, where do you- actually I got it." She went into your kitchen and found your glasses right away.

You had to blink to focus your vision, it was hard to believe Ellie Williams was standing in your kitchen. This house had never had her inside of it, it was your sanctuary away from her. Decorated exactly how you wanted it and untouched by her opinions, you had things scattered around that reminded you of love. Pictures you managed to keep of your parents and of Tommy and Maria scattered around your walls, along with randomly scattered carpets you would strap onto Bentley on a patrol and bring home. "This is weird Ellie."

She paused and looked at you, "I know."

"Why did you ask for me to be your patrol partner?"

"I uh, wanted. No needed to talk to you." She continued pouring the whiskey in an attempt not to make eye contact with you.

"Talk to me about what?" You sat down on your couch.

"Nothing in particular just missed your voice." She came and sat next to you, handing you your glass nonchalantly.

"Oh." You took a sip and winced at the strong flavor.

"So yeah, pretty lame excuse I guess."

"Yeah, I guess." You rolled your eyes.

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"You're being silly! I know how to swim, I've just never done it." You exclaimed and then took a sip from the mason jar.

"You can't just know how to do something but never practice it." Ellie laughed and reached for the jar.

"You can if you're me."

"Maybe you're right or maybe you're just overly confident. I guess we'll have to test your theory sometime." Ellie put the jar down and looked up at you.

"What?" You almost shouted.

"I don't know if I'm saying this because I'm drunk or because I'm just ready to share but, I've got like a serious crush on you so."

"Oh really? I couldn't tell." You snagged the jar and sipped the whiskey Ellie had stolen from Joel while he was sleeping.

"Shut up!" She chuckled. "Give me some of that don't hog it all!"

"Here." You handed her the jar, "So why did it take you like three years to share this information with me?"

"I don't know, couldn't tell if you were into me or just like this with everyone."

"Ellie I'm not like this with anyone", You leaned in close to her, "Just you."

"I noticed that", she put the jar down and leaned in closer. "What're you doing?"

"Testing a theory", you closed the gap and pushed your lips onto hers. She grabbed your face and you fell back on the blanket with her on top of you.

"Have you done this before?" She gasped.

"No. Have you?" You asked shakily.

"No, do you want to do this?"

"Ellie I've wanted you to be the one forever.” You pulled her in and closed the gap between your lips once again. She pushed deeper into the kiss and let her hands begin to wander your body, it started innocently and slow. The more you kissed the more she touched, the more she touched the more you wanted her. “I want you.”

“You have me.” She breathed into you.

“No. I want, all of you!”

She paused and looked at you with a smile spreading across her lips, “I want you to have all of me."

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"Do you remember that day?" Ellie interrupted your daydreaming.

"What day?" You look up at her.

"You know, that day." She said sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah how could I forget." You smiled at the memory.

"Do you regret it?" Her face looked prepared for destruction.

"No. Do you?" You sipped your drink.

"Why would I?"

"Because, you know." You couldn't say it out loud.

"Because you left me?" She interrupted.

"You were leaving first." You stated.

"I- you're right. I was leaving first, physically." Her phrase confused you, "But you left me long before I ever planned on walking away."

"You don't know what you're talking about." You leaned in.

"Oh I don't?" She leaned in.

"No, you don't. What're you doing Ellie?"

"Just, testing a theory." She kissed you.

"Mm no! No, I can't, we can't do this. You need to leave, now."

"Y/n come on, please don't make me go." She pleaded.

"I'm not thinking clearly and you can't be here, you're infecting my space." You shuffled around and got up to go toward the door.

She grabbed your hand and pulled you to her, "I can't go another day without you baby. You take up every inch of my mind, you're ruining my days not being with me. Please my love, give me another chance."

"You need to leave, I'll see you tomorrow for patrol. We can talk more then." You yanked your hand away and went over to your front door, she got up from the couch hesitantly and put her jacket back on. You waved her out the door and watched her walk down your front porch steps, she turned around and faced you.

"Do you want this? Really?"

"I want to be okay Ellie, and I don't want to drag you down with me. I don't want to rely on you again only for you to leave me, I'll see you tomorrow." You closed the door and slid down the wall and cried.

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Ellie had planned to go home after you kicked her out, she even made it halfway home before pausing in her tracks. She saw Tommy and Maria laughing and walking to their home and stopped them for a chat, "Hey Tommy! Hey Maria!"

"Hey, sweetheart what's going on? Why are you out so late?" Tommy questioned, Ellie saw a lot of Joel in Tommy whenever he showed any concern.

"I just was walking home from y/n's house. Could I ask you something?"

"Anything." Tommy waved Ellie over to join them in their walk, their house just so happened to be two doors down from your home so Ellie didn't mind following them one bit.

"What uh, what do I have to do to make her come back?" She asked nervously.

Maria answered, "Oh honey, I ask myself the same thing every day. She hasn't come back to anyone since you seemed to get better, it's like she's a ghost wandering the walls of Jackson. We try to get her out, try to make her laugh. She's gone, and I'm not sure she's coming back. I know her life before Jackson was awful and part of me seems to think she believes she's still out there."

"What do you mean?" Ellie paused in her tracks and stared at Maria and Tommy.

"You don't know?" Tommy questioned, shocked by her confusion.

"Know what?"

"Y/n was... alone when we found her. Or more so she found us, she stumbled upon our gates one night completely covered in dirt and blood. Some of it was hers but most of it wasn't, she refused to talk for a while. Wouldn't even sleep unless she was left alone, we don't fully know what happened. But I think it's safe to assume whatever she saw out there, was worse than most of us have seen." Maria looked away and stifled a cry.

"She's never gotten real close to anyone, besides you kiddo." Tommy patted Ellie's back. "You good to make it home okay? I can walk you back if you want."

"No. That's okay, I'm gonna... hang around for a bit if that's okay. See if she comes out of the house for anything."

Maria leaned in for a hug, "Just don't stay out too late, you both have patrol in the morning."

"Yes ma'am." Ellie hugged them both goodbye and waved them off until they got into their home.

She sat on your porch and waited, it got colder and she shivered but she stayed sat and waited. She heard nothing at first and thought she was making it up. It was subtle, just whimpers that could have passed for a sad puppy. Then she heard your yelp, a bang and then she was up on her feet. The door was locked, she banged on the door but you didn't answer.

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You tried to keep quiet, to act as if you had it together and your chest wasn't caving in. Your vision began going blurry and you couldn't catch your breath, your sobs got louder but you couldn't hear them. You didn't even notice you'd fell to the floor until you were being picked up gently.

"Hey hey hey, come on let's get you to bed yeah? Shh, it's okay I know, I'm here. I got you, baby, I have you now. You're safe."

"I can't- I can't-"

"I know baby I know, you're okay. I'm not going anywhere you're safe I have you. You're safe." Ellie had broken down your door after hearing you cry louder than she'd ever heard you before.

You had been clawing at your chest when she found you, beating and clawing like you were trying to get your heart to beat again. Like you couldn't get your lungs to take in any more air, she wasn't sure what to do at first. She thought about running and grabbing Tommy or Maria and then she remembered what Tommy had said, you'd never gotten close to anyone besides her. So she did the only thing she could think of, she picked you up and reminded you where you were.

"Ellie I-", your breathing slowed. Her touch had soothed your burning skin, you felt her breathing above your face. The surface beneath you no longer cold and hard, you were in your bed. You wanted to say something important, let her know how bad you had gotten since she'd been gone. "I love you." Was all that came out, and then you crashed. Your body finally relaxed enough to fall asleep, you didn't fight it. You were safe now, warm and loved.

"I love you baby", she kissed your face relentlessly. "I'm here now, just sleep." As she looked at your sleepy face she had to turn away, she saw it now. How bad you'd gotten, how much you'd held in so she could fall apart. Why her leaving was so cruel, and why you had hated her for it. She cried silently over you that night, she sobbed while you slept in her arms. She didn't dare move even when her arms hurt, and her legs fell asleep. She let you sleep, and she let herself cry without blacking out. She was healed, you were not. It was her turn to glue you back together after all this time, and she was fully prepared for the task.

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Authors Note: Very much tea very much jumbled, let me know if you liked it and if I should continue with a part two! Kind of just in the mood to write a shit ton of little fics and see where they take me, anyways. Love ya, hope life is being kind to you! See you next time xoxo Gossip girl.

[thomashelbyswife]

M, since it’s the 10th anniversary of Peaky, I’d love to know what you think are the 10 best perks of being Mrs. Shelby.

Oh dear!! 😳 Lee @zablife 💕 you got me good with this one. I love you for sending this one in you had me squealing 🤭 this gif makes my heart burst

I had so much fun writing this I was blushing the entire time.

Best perks of being Mrs. Shelby are:

10. Being the only person that can put out his demons which helps him relax.

9. Riding horses with him and spending most of their times in the stables.

8. Waiting for him to come home and jumping into his arms straight away (I always find this part my most fav of the day and I look forward to it is very dear to me) cause lets be real he'd only be coming home just for her.

7. Lounging around his study while he works, sat infront of the fireplace flipping through fashion catalouges & magazines.

6. Having the best lovemaking sessions 🔞 (oh they are just so good they always start in his study a bit of teasing or whenver tommy feels extra needy slightly raising her dress and it is indeed a very delighful sight!)

5. Her watching his face light up everytime with heart eyes & that special smile of his just for Mrs. Shelby (I melt everytime)

4. Being startled with long - loving neck kisses & backhugs out of nowhere.

3. Being very much ✨️ SPOILED ✨️ getting gifts all the time with tons of new jewellery - her favourite diamonds, imported silky nightgowns, dresses, lingerie, fancy furs cause he's obsessed with Mrs. Shelby looking like a real queen. (BASICALLY THE WHOLE WORLD WOULD BE AT HER FEET!!!)

2. The pleasure of having all the love and seeing the softest Tommy Shelby ever, being extremely loved and very taken care of even though he doesn't have that much time on his hands but for Mrs. Shelby he has all the time in the world.

1. Being Mrs. Shelby 🤭 basically the title is very heavy and it speaks for itself.

+ a bonus I might add cause I think about these two all the time!!

✨️ Having to carry around a spare pack of cigarettes and a lighter in your purse at all times just in case cause you'll never know when he'll get grumpy so as Mrs. Shelby be ready for anything.

✨️ Having him call for her just to fix the tie-knot and the lapels of his suit jacket along with his beloved pocket watch cause he just loves to hear her and her jewellery covered hands making sounds around him which relaxes him & awakens something in him. (an image he wants to burn in his brain forever)

(these are my top 10 but the list goes on forever) 🥰

[hyunverse]

Bad boy hyunjin x enemies to lovers 😌

a series of cusses left your lips as soon as you saw his name beside yours. you cursed the universe for teaming you up with the hwang hyunjin for a group project that’s worth 60% of your grade.

“good luck, y/n,” seungmin said— you sighed, knowing full well that you’ll be needing a shit ton of luck.

if hyunjin wasn’t stupidly hot, no one would remember who he is considering the fact that he almost never shows up to his lectures. the few times he actually does, he’d lazily sport a pair of sweatpants, a cap to hide his probably horrendous hair and he’d sleep at the back of the lectures. he never speaks up in lectures, only ever whispers idiotic remarks. rumour has it, people have only properly conversed with him at the parties his fraternity would hold — though most of the things he’d say are drunken thoughts. so it’s safe to say that hwang hyunjin, the renowned campus bad boy is almost entirely unreachable.

which is why it counted as a miracle that you were able to reach him. it took a lot of effort, of course — knocked on the fraternity house door like a gazillion times, had to see multiple of the frat members half naked just to get hyunjin’s stupid number. you got the number from changbin, who was sporting merely a pair of tommy hilfilger boxers when he opened the door. he gave the number to you after you practically threatened to dismember his you-know-what. alas, after a series of missed calls and angry texts, hyunjin finally agreed to meet up at the library.

he was half asleep when you saw him at the library. it’s quite a surprise that he showed up at all — you already had felix on speed dial in case hyunjin didn’t show up, so that you’d have a pair of ears to nag at. hyunjin's hair was. . . surprisingly neat. you for sure didn't expect to see his hair be so beautiful considering how he never takes his stupid cap off. both the blonde’s elbows were propped on the wooden table, chin on hands and eyes threatening to fall asleep. you rolled your eyes. the boy who never shows up in class isn’t used to having group discussions at 10 a.m, what a shocker.

frankly, you don’t remember much about your first meet up with him. there were a lot of nagging, protests and low grumbles — that’s as far as you could recall. hyunjin stormed out of the library, mumbling something along the lines of stop-telling-me-what-to-do. it didn't go very well. he didn't bother showing up after that, didn't even do his work — you know because there was no progress in the google docs you shared. you had to practically beg him to cooperate, even promised him that you won't force him to do as you say if he at least does his part. he started showing up again after that, which made you glad despite the poker face he'd uphold the whole time. he would show up two hours late, and excuse himself before you're done discussing. he was amazing at getting to your nerves, no doubt about it.

what got to your last straw, however, was when he stopped showing up, again. every text from you was left on seen — even your angry texts. you despised how you seemed to have no effect on him. you've told him that you hate him about a billion times, yet he'd just leave you on read. you've showed up at his fraternity, knocked on his bedroom door but to no avail, he showed no interest in talking to you. at one point you ended up kicking his door and bursting into tears — mumbling things like, "you don't care about your grades but i do," "i fucking hate you, hwang hyunjin," "you're a dick and i hope you rot in hell."

something in hyunjin ticked upon hearing your breakdown. he started going to your discussions again. you wouldn't converse much, completely focused on getting your work done. hyunjin mirrored your energy, stopped making annoying remarks. somewhere along the way he ended up growing a soft spot for you, though he tried his best to not let it show. on the last day of your discussion, the day you'd submit your analysis together, hyunjin brought you coffee.

"did you poison this, hwang?"

hyunjin's eyebrows knitted in confusion, "no? why would i?"

"because you're annoying like that," you curtly replied, moving your focus back to the work.

the blonde bit the inside of his cheek. how was he going to ask you out if you wouldn't even trust him with bringing you coffee? his fingers tapped against the table, earning a glare from you.

"will you quit that noise?"

"you're so bloody uptight, y/n."

you rolled your eyes. a few minutes after, you managed to turn in your assignment. it was a relief — it meant that you wouldn't have to be around hyunjin again, you were free from his bullshit. you were overjoyed.

"y/n," hyunjin uttered.

"what?"

"will you go out on a date with me?" his question had you choking on your coffee.

"are you playing with me, hyunjin?"

"i'm not!" hyunjin replied, offended, "i'm serious. will you?"

you sighed as you picked on your nails. out of all people, the last person you'd expect to ask you out would be none other than hwang hyunjin. sure, his face was stupidly handsome, you were sure god took extra time with his face, but to be with him was something you weren't prepared for. if working with him as a project partner would be hell, imagine a relationship? you shuddered at that thought.

"sorry hyunjin, i just. . . don't think we'd work out. you're not exactly my type."

if your reply shattered his heart, he didn't let it show on his face.

hyunjin had been. . . surprisingly disciplined since you last saw him.

he had been attending lectures, stopped sleeping in the hall as well. it was a change which shocked many. some of your classmates — one of them being seungmin even joked that it meant he was going to die soon.

you stopped contacting him ever since you rejected him. you'd shoot daggers at him everytime he made eye contact. for some odd reason, the hatred you had for him wouldn't subside. it's like the hell you went through just to reach him stuck.

on the last day of the semester, he approached you again.

"what is it that you want, hwang?"

"are you dating kim seungmin?"

you furrowed your eyebrows, "no?"

"will you date me?" he asked, again.

you sighed. you were about to open your mouth to speak until hyunjin shoved his transcript in your face.

"what is this for?" you questioned, looking down at the piece of paper to see a perfect 4.0 gpa.

"i attended classes, did my assignments. . . am i your type now?"

the atmosphere fell silent as you blinked. he had been paying attention just to get your approval?

hyunjin looked desperate, "please say something, y/n."

you were nodding before you could even process your thoughts, "fine. i'll go out with you if you quit being an asshole."

[veggiehotdog1]

Sometimes I think about when TLoU3 finally comes out, first how utterly pathetic it will be when I’m heartbroken over fictional characters, but also how all my canon works will be changed by new information.

I have a lot of theories for part 3. I expect a 10 year time jump for part 3. Ellie may have found some peace and place in Jackson as a leader, something to fight for that isn’t sacrificing herself. JJ will also be old enough for some dangerous adventuring.

Like maybe the farmhouse scene is already after Ellie’s met with Fireflies or whatever the quest may be in part 3. She looks older in the Farmhouse final scene, maybe 25ish? Definitely more weathered 🥵

Also Dina is wearing an earring in her journal. How unusual since we didn’t see her wearing anything but the hamsa bracelet before. A make-up gift (like Tommy’s necklace)? Or a marriage bond?

And then maybe one of those prisoners Ellie let out survived and knows she was bitten. She did get pretty careless about bites, no masks…and remember the flash back where Joel warned her to be careful about people seeing that.

And Abby…it would be a bit predictable if she was also immune, but she was bit by Ellie in the same place (symbolic, not time of infection). I think about the line of Abby telling her dad she would want to be used for the cure if she was The Chosen One. It would be poetic in a way. Abby sacrificing herself 😪 instead of Ellie to fulfill her dad’s quest for a cure. And it would also piss tons of players off since they want Abby to die, but in a very specific way (sound familiar…Abby, Abby, Abby. These infected better not have killed you…because I want to be the one to do it!)

Just morning rambling. Might write a one shot about the earrings for marriage. But, I really need to finished the next chapter of Story 1 first. So, I will put that thought in my queue along with HVAC Ellie 😆