#12River

[thinkdoctorriver]

The Husbands of River Song // Silence in the Library

[amyriver]

This makes me really want a 11/12/River episode where 11 is traveling with Amy and Rory, bumps into 12 & River and gets jealous. I already think 12 wouldn’t like 11, and 11 wouldn’t like that 12 doesn’t like him, but adding River to the mix, 11 would just be sulking in the corner like:

Also I desperately need 12 and Amy to meet.

[expectiations]

Bill: Doctor, where’d you get that bruise? the Doctor: *flashback to walking into a pole while looking at his picture of River* the Doctor: i'm in a gang, Bill

[thekingofspin]

Parallels <3

[gwendolinbeifong]

“You know who you remind me of”

“Yes a chap with a big-“

A big what doctor?

A big what?

Pervert.

[kimbearablykute]

Every once in a while, I'm minding my own business, maybe not even thinking about Doctor Who, and then my brain reminds me :

"A night on Darillium is 24 years. That's a nice long honeymoon... longer than I've been married... long enough to raise a family to adulthood. Do you think the Doctor and River got a chance to have a real life together on the slow path?"

[silver-hibiscus]

Thinking about how the ship in THoRS is named Harmony and Redemption. Thinking about how River's name is Melody and how the Doctor struggled to pick himself up after Bill. Thinking about how they spent years and timelines apart doing not so good things. Thinking about how the cruise ship crashed because of a sudden meteor shower that should have been foreseen by whoever made the ship's flight path and about how River and the Doctor met on Lord Hydroflax's ship because Nardole just asked if he was the surgeon and didn't demand proof like he should have asked for when the patient was a king. Thinking about River, who said she dug up the cruise ship that crashlanded on Darillium which meant that she's been at Darillium before. Thinking about the Doctor, who spent years promising his wife to go to Darillium with her and canceling at the last moment. Thinking about the parellels

[sonickedtrowel]

binary solar system

Another one-shot chapter!  the prompt here is.... is I wrote pregnant River and young babies/kids with these guys when I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about and I'm sure if I went back and read it after having 2 babies my soul would cringe out of my body. So instead let me just present you with this, a scene from Darillium which hopefully resonates more with those of you out there who have reproduced. 12/River ao3 link

“What the hell even is a round ligament?” River asked, unceremoniously flinging a pamphlet from the obstetrician’s office over the arm of the sofa and onto the floor.

“Er,” the Doctor carefully began, “I think it’s—”

“I know what it is,” she snapped, which, honestly, he should have seen coming.  “I know because it simulates me being stabbed in the abdomen eighty three fucking thousand times a day.  Round ligament.  Fucking bastard traitor.”

There were a lot of things about humanoid pregnancy that were significantly improved upon by living in a sufficiently advanced society with decent modern medicine.  Safe, well-tested anti-nausea medications.  Effective preventive treatments for life-threatening complications like pre-eclampsia.  The highest quality of monitoring and interventions available for any foetal developmental concerns.  Advanced surgical techniques and augmented healing technologies that made the dangerous and unpredictable old-fashioned mode of childbirth a thing of the past— evolution truly had dropped the ball on that one.  

But there were some things that remained, as River succinctly pronounced, “total shit.”

“Why don’t you lie down for a bit, dear?” the Doctor suggested.  “I’ll start dinner, you get some rest.  Doc—”

“I swear to god,” she interrupted, “if you say ‘Doctor’s orders,’ you can kiss this face goodbye, because I will shoot you in it.  And if the next one’s hot I won’t even feel bad.”

“Fair enough,” he replied, valiantly struggling to choke down a laugh, because he felt fairly sure that would not go over well at the moment.  

“Anyway,” River lamented, “resting is the problem.  Obviously I need all the rest I can get, but I can’t get any because when I lie down there’s a, a bowling ball, just— rolling all around in there, bouncing off my round ligament whenever I try to move a half an inch— oh, but if I don’t keep flipping sides like I’m being cooked on a spit I’ll throw out a hip!  And the stupid app said they’re only the size of a, a— what is it this week?”

“Rhodocrosian dwarf leek,” the Doctor supplied helpfully.

“Which is fucking meaningless, by the way, because the proportions are not even remotely comparable— but the point is,” she stressed, stopping mid-pantomime, “whichever way you measure a spring onion, or whatever, it should not be big enough to be smashing my ligaments!”

“I think it’s supposed to get better soon,” said the Doctor, crouching in front of the sofa and laying his hand ever-so-carefully over the upper curve of the tiny swell in River’s belly, avoiding the bastard traitor.  “Remember Dr. Kiril said something about touching the abdominal wall?  Not as much rolling around once the bowling ball’s out of room.”

“To be replaced with something even more dreadful, no doubt.”

“I’m sorry, dear.  You’ve definitely got the worse end of this deal.”

“And to think, we spent all that time trying to make this happen,” she sighed.  “I’ve been so spoilt, always being a bit superhuman.  Healing quickly, never having to feel my age or the little inconveniences and indignities it normally brings.  Making a baby sounds so magical and romantic in the abstract but it’s all been so… biological.  All the scans, all the hormone testing— do you know how long I’ve been pissing in little plastic cups?  Three years, Doctor.  Every month: ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, then start all over again.  So much hope tied up in such an unappealing ritual.  Like making a little advent calendar of urine.”  He failed to suppress his laugh at that, but River smiled, wearily.  “At least I only have to do it at appointments now.  There’s not a shred of dignity left to me in this entire business.  And what a way to spend what’s meant to be our longest honeymoon.  It’s all terribly unsexy.”

“Well, there were quite a few sexy parts, as I recall.”

“If you don’t mind being on a very strict schedule.”

“I didn’t mind.”

“Doctor,” River said solemnly, and he took her hand, as he knew well now when she was bravely preparing to say something important, against many decades of instinct to bury it instead.  “Have we just… thrown the biggest spanner you could possibly imagine into everything?”

“Well… yeah, maybe, a bit,” he replied— there was, of course, no use pretending otherwise.  “But in a good way.”

“But, it’s— it is completely mad, isn’t it?  We’re so happy in our life, let’s blow it up on purpose.  I couldn’t fathom loving another person like I love you, but instead of just enjoying that incredible, rare, precious thing, we’ll make a new person from scratch!  Who are we to make a person?  Why does anyone ever do something so obviously insane?”

The Doctor laughed softly, stood, and settled carefully down beside River on the sofa, giving her room to gingerly rearrange herself against him.  

“It’s just so hard to imagine what it will really be like,” she mumbled into his shoulder.  “It’s— it’s like moving the stars.  Adding a second sun to a solar system.  Everything’s going to change, and it can’t all be for the better.  When there’s more light, some things will burn.”

“Well, you’re not wrong about any of that,” he said, carefully draping his arm around her and threading his fingers through hers.  “But we do have a pretty extensive record of doing completely mad things.  It’s our speciality, really.  And, you know… it is very normal to have doubts about such a huge change.”  He pressed a kiss to her temple and she curled a little more into his side, her breath hitching as she winced with the movement.  “It’s a leap of faith with a very long way to the landing.  You’ve got to get through a lot of wild thoughts on the way down.  And thank you.  For telling me how you’re feeling.”

“Well, I appreciate you not pointing out that I sound like I’ve completely lost my mind.  I have actually noticed.”

“Nah,” he scoffed.  “You just sound like you’re… growing a new sun.  You’re handling it magnificently.”

“How are you so bloody calm about it, by the way?” she grumbled.

“Oh, don’t worry, dear, I’m an absolute mess.  This is what we call triage.  You just carry on and I won’t have to pay any attention to me— doing me a favour, really.”

“Mm.  Sounds healthy.”

“I think, in this specific case, it’s sort of the natural order of things.”

“And you know, of course I’m worried but… I don’t actually have any doubts.  I don’t even know this person yet, and they’re making my life an enormous pain in ways I’d never imagined, and I don’t regret it one bit.  Isn’t that strange?”

“Well, not so strange.  Love is like that.  No one ever said it made sense.”

“What, no ‘biological imperative’ talk?  No human hormones hijacking my brain?  Suddenly when it’s our little foetus it’s all mushy stuff?”

“River Song, let me tell you something very important right now.  It was a hard lesson to learn, but ever since you came into my life, it’s all been mushy stuff.”  She laughed, and turned her head to kiss him, the tension tangibly melting out of her shoulders as her lips lingered against his.

“Oh,” she moaned, “I would really, really love you to take me to bed, if I could move at all without the stabbing.”

“How about I do take you to bed, get you all set up with your pillows and wedges and noodles and whatnot, and we can see how the bastard traitor is feeling later.”

“Okay,” she sighed.  “Oh!  Oh, there it goes— put your hand right here!”  She grabbed his hand and pressed it very firmly to her stomach, which was alarming considering how she seemed not to be able to do anything without incurring the round ligament’s wrath, but then—

“Oh!”  The Doctor could feel the sort of grin taking over his face that River teased would make him look like the Grinch, if he weren’t so pretty.  (He wasn’t so sure about ‘pretty’ as an appropriate adjective for this face, but had decided not to object.)  “Hello, there,” he said softly.

“You really felt it this time?” she asked, beaming back at him as she pressed her hand down over his.

“Yeah, just a teeny tiny little… poke.  A little hand?  Little foot?”

“My bet’s on little elbow,” she said, cradling the tiny curve of her belly.  “I’m sure a half-developed leek with pointy elbows and no body fat would look fairly ghastly, but… they certainly are sweet from this angle, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” the Doctor agreed, though it came out with a gravelly waver to it.  “The sweetest.  Well, easy for me to say; I’m not getting poked.”

“I think that’s my favourite part, actually.  Like they’re saying hello.  Then it’s not some big unimaginable unknown we’re waiting for, it’s… just this little one right here.  Already keeping me company.”

“So maybe there is a little magic left in the process?”

“I guess so.”  River smiled with the sort of Christmas-morning delight he’d hoped would fill every moment of their night on Darillium, and the Doctor thought having two suns in his life seemed like the perfect number.

[kate-les-bridge-stewart]

I had some headcanons again :)

I'm just gonna copy them from discord so if the formating is weird that's why

---

River would love forcing 12 to explore his fashion sense

Cus she complains that he's too conservative or lazy with his clothes

So she takes him clothes shopping!!!

Of course he's gravitating to all blacks and dark reds and gray

But she's going for color and 🌟pizzazz🌟

They don't really make any progress until river sees this one pair of leggings that she loves and so she shows them to 12.

And he likes them too OoO

They're mainly black but they have these crimson and bright red streaks that look SMOKING

12 is a bit hesitant seeing that they're leggings but he's willing to try them

And THEY WORK

River is in awe not only at the fact that the first time her doctor tried leggings it was the gray old man

But she's also in awe at HIS LEGS

HE PUTS THE LEG IN LEGENDARY

THEYRE LONG AND LEAN AND GORGEOUS

RU PAUL WOULD BE IN THE FUCKIN ER AT THE SIGHT OF 12S LEGS

River is basically on the verge of passing out

12 finally really looks at himself in the mirror and it dawns on him just how GORGEOUS he is

He starts pulling poses and shit

He makes sure to get a gander of his ass of course

They finally break the stunned silence.

12: I love it...

From then on 12 and river go looking for all the leggings and eventually 12 starts looking at shirts too

River gets an idea though and they check out the leggings and go back home

She pulls out a pair of scissors...

And some of 12s plain shirts...

12 hesitates but eventually decides to trust his wife

She cuts up one of his plain black shirts into a long sleeve crop top

The moment he put it on, something told them that this was the beginning of the doctors slut era >:3

The next day bill came in the tardis and was stunned into silence at the sight of her 6 foot tall stick bug skinny grey haired professor wearing leggings and a crop top

Bill: well.... you've had a wardrobe change...

12: yep! Nothing like a little push from your wife to help spice up your life! :D

Bill: what are you suddenly doing drag or something? Cus if you are then I'm certainly not complaining

12: drag? What's drag?

Bill: (idk how her jaw hasn't just dislocated yet) you don't know?

Naturally this leads to Bill giving 12 an in depth history lesson about drag and drag culture

12: well... that is certainly fascinating. still don't understand you humans obsession with gender but oh well

[bronzeagepizzeria]

i am Tired

[smallblueandloud]

you know doctor who has a chokehold on me right now because i'm rewatching s10 clips on youtube

[stewy]

no one told me tenriver has audios together okay thank you so much…

[nounpolycule]

My toxic trait is like I mean Blink is good but I can't wrap my head around it being the highest rated episode of Doctor Who on IMDb. Top 30 fine but #1?

[expectiations]

i still think about Missy's genuine "my condolences" after finding out the Doctor had (once again) parted ways with River

[thekingofspin]

why am I like this. I just had a full on breakdown at 1:50 am it is now 1:55 am and I am perfectly fine happily reading my fanfic again and have forgotten why I broke down in the first place.

[khruschevshoe]

You know what? I'm gonna say it. As someone who is asexual and on the aromantic spectrum myself, I'm a bit tired of the Doctor Who fans who all say that Donna is the best companion of Ten's just because they were best friends and nothing more and that automatically makes her the best companion of RTD and for a lot of you, the best companion overall.

Listen, I LOVE Donna. Adore her. And I also think that her friendship with the Doctor is amazing. But it has always rubbed me the wrong way that the companions who have a romantic interest in the Doctor (and let me tell you, there is textual evidence for every one of them that the feelings were reciprocated in some way) are somehow considered lesser BECAUSE of that interest. That just because they fell for the Doctor means that their relationship with the Doctor is cheapened in some way.

I personally think that just as platonic relationships should not be considered lesser than romantic ones, the same goes in reverse. Amy, Clara, Martha, Rose, River, and Yaz's feelings may have some weak writing decisions attached to them, but so does Donna.

Personally, I love Donna's character arc/the tragedy of her ending, but I've always felt a little disappointed by the fact that her becoming the DoctorDonna in Journey's End was not predicated on her strong characterization/choices (Ala Planet of the Ood/Fires of Pompeii) but by "fate" pushing it to happen. It's honestly more Dalek Caan than Donna making all that happen.

This is NOT to say that I don't love Donna, but just to say that the fact that she had no romantic feelings for the Doctor doesn't automatically catapult her above the rest. Romantic feelings can lead to just as interesting, well-developed character arcs/complicated dynamics as platonic ones can, from the creator/created reciprocated question mark wanting but unable to choose each other over everything dynamic of 11amy to the fascinating destroying each other saving each other one taking all of the emotional toll but honestly craving that prophet-god relationship of 10martha to the shaping each other making each other kinder and braver reminding each other there is hope dooming and saving each other of 9rose to the full dooming each other but running straight at it full tilt because we are purposefully ignoring the turn back now signs of 10rose to the batshit insane codependent reflecting each other refracting each other who is Orpheus and who is Eurydice of 12clara to the there was always someone else in the room keeping us apart but you somehow became my whole world and I knew you from birth to death and we will never be anything more than a shut door of 13yaz to the you doomed me and saved me and you hate me but you might have loved me once and i will spend the rest of my life devoted to you dynamics of 10jack 11river and 12river.

Every relationship is interesting and personal preference might steer you in a certain way due the character arcs/ending preferences/etc., but elevating one over the other because the companion wasn't "foolish" enough to fall in love with the mad genderfluid alien in a box who ran away with you and stole you away to the stars doesn't sit well with me. Romance doesn't cheapen a relationship just as it doesn't automatically make it the ultimate relationship, either.