#18 months since they broke up and yet people don’t shut up

[pedros-mustache]

nighthawks (14)

series masterlist || previous chapter

word count: ~4.7k+

warnings: smut (18+ only): f!receiving oral, unprotected piv sex (wrap iT UP FOOLS), creampie. also: hurt/comfort, ptsd response, discussions of abuse/torture, language, x fem!reader

a/n: ah, i missed them. i missed this. 💛  

beta: @pleasedin​

DAY ONE-HUNDRED-TWO—LOCATION: ABOARD THE SUNDER

On Inora, there is a flower: the drooping bittercress. The drooping bittercress blooms in the middle of winter, taking the season’s cold wind and freezing rain and unfolding into a brilliant yellow-and-purple blossom despite it. It is a resilient flower, stalk firm and roots thick. Each year, the buds open beneath a pale, frigid sun; and the field outside your childhood home becomes a carpet of color. Once a season, on the night of the first crescent moon, Inorans gather bundles of the bittercress to place in their windows as a prayer of blessing over the coming planting season. 

Fall over my fields with your splendor. Purge the weakness from my soil.

You have become a drooping bittercress. You have purged the weakness from your own soil and bloomed beneath a pale and a frigid sun. You are resilient—hearty—alive. 

Jeelia, you think, would be proud.

/

You are somewhere between consciousness and oblivion when Mando carries you aboard the Sunder. The world is watery. Parceled sentences bombard your ears, but nothing breaks through the stone wall. You are present and yet you are not. There is safety in the in-between, and you aren’t sure you want to leave it. Try as you might, you cannot open your eyes. The last ten days carve through your body like a scythe. You are boneless and numb and weak. 

Mando says something to someone, and the ship whirrs to life. It vibrates in your bones like a song of reunion. Away—take me away.

There is a whoosh and then the click of a lock. The Mandalorian untangles your arms from around his neck and settles you on the lid of the vacc tube. He pulls the straps of your gown over your shoulders, one and then the other. 

He pushes a swath of hair away from your face. “Come on. Work with me, girl.”

You groan as your head droops to the side. You have nothing left to give.

Mando rids you of your gown and dirty underclothes, pulling you to standing by a firm tug on your biceps. He turns off the light, and the room descends into darkness. Armor falls to the floor— thud, clank. Metal on metal: the sound of him, of all people, forsaking his ways for you . It’s laughable. You aren’t worth it.

Still, despite your reticence to accept his sacrifice, you lean forward. Your forehead hits warm, tender flesh, and a rush of blood surges from your head to your heart. His skin—how long has it been since you felt his skin? Without asking, you slide your arms around his waist and press yourself close. He pauses, rests his hand on your shoulder blade. Something prickly—a beard?—pulls against your temple when he leans his cheek on your head. The helmet—he’s taken it off.

“I’m here,” he whispers, and you know it is truth in its purest form. 

A white light glows beneath the fresher sink, illuminating the clothes strewn across the floor. An emergency light. Steady, constant, reliable even in times of crisis—just like Mando.

Undressed, he ushers you into the shower stall where hot steam obscures any features highlighted by the room’s dim light. Though you know he stands behind you uncovered from head to foot, you don’t bother to look. You’re too tired, too weak. The ghostly silhouette of his fingers reaching around to fiddle with the temperature controls is enough for now.

He soaps his hand with a bar of lye. The lather smells fresh and floral, like jasmine and soft petals. You once had a similar bar; it broke months ago. You aren’t sure what became of it. 

“Can I?” He mumbles the words against your skin. 

You nod—of course, yes, touch me, wipe away what came before . The plea lifts in your throat, but your mouth remains shut. You nod again in earnest.

Mando glides his hand over your collarbones, down the sturdy plane between your breasts. He swirls his palm at either hip. His eyelashes brush against your neck as he watches the sudsy water fall between your legs. Soft, soothing. With his touch, he buoys you above the emotion rising in your chest.

Maker, you’d thought you would die. You’d thought Devaneer would kill you.

In some ways, you’d prepared yourself for death. You’d sat in your own filth, cheek bleeding, arm bruised. You’d lied and weaseled your way out of interrogation. You’d accepted Breeth’s torture as it came. Because for him—for Mando and Grogu—for them both—death would have been worth it. Death would have cleansed you. Maybe made things right again. The ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate atonement: for that stubborn Tin Can and his foundling, and for the family you destroyed all those years ago.

The tears begin, and they do not stop. Rivulets of selfish relief pour down your cheeks. Your chest heaves, and shuddering breaths push against tired lungs. To keep from falling, you brace one arm against the shower wall. The slick tiles and feel of Mando’s thumbs massaging your back keeps you grounded, keeps you from swirling down the drain with your emotions, but it isn’t enough. The horror of realization—of witnessing through your own memory what really happened to you in the last ten days—still looms.

Maybe some part of you did die in that place. Maybe Breeth did kill you. You aren’t yet sure what part of you has passed into nothingness, but there is something missing. There is a hole somewhere in your body, and it leaks onto the shower floor, draining your spirit into the pipes of the Sunder. 

The fear of discovery claws at your stomach. Who are you now? Now that you’ve failed so desperately? Now that you’ve pulled yourself out of the ashes by your own hand? You don’t want to know. You don’t want to look. It scares you. You’ve lost yourself already. The moment Jeelia fell to the ground with a thump was the first moment you died. The moment you ordered Mando to turn around and leave you behind must have been the second.

Your lungs ache. Are you breathing? 

Your throat is scratched raw. Are you screaming?

Blood lingers at the corner of your mouth. Are you dying for certain now? Has your mind at last given up? Released its hold on this pitiful life of yours? 

Mando pulls you from the shower when your body threatens to collapse to the floor. He towels off your face, dragging the water and tears and snot away from your mouth and nose. He makes quick work of pulling something soft and silky over your head. The fabric falls to your thighs, hugging the ins and outs of your body. Thin straps rest over your battered and bruised shoulders. He shucks on a pair of cotton pants then, bent at the waist, shoves his head in the helmet. In your clouded mind, you saw nothing—even when you stared at him in the face.

Gently, ever so gently, he leads you across the hall. You move as though through a dense fog. Your body gives out when you reach the side of his bed, and it is like falling in slow motion. Down, down, down until a firm mattress and crumbled sheets tangle around your heavy limbs. You roll to your back, fluffing the pillow beneath your head with a weak shove. 

“Will you be okay?”

What a fucking loaded question. It almost makes you laugh. 

But you don’t laugh. You turn your face toward the viewports on the wall. Starlight, brilliant and white and pure. You missed it; you just hadn’t realized how keenly.

Mando backs away from the bedside. A chilled breeze follows his movement, replacing his comforting presence. You twist in a panic and lunge to catch his wrist. Droplets of water dot his skin, sinking beneath your nails. Pale light hits the curve of his helmet, but the feel of his eyelashes on your neck, his mouth lingering on your shoulder, remains.

“Stay with me,” you whisper. It is a hoarse sound, cracked and tired. Human in all its fragility. “Mando…”

He is quiet. So quiet. That quiet expands, growing to a thick silence, and you remove your hand from his arm. An apology builds in your mouth, forming amongst your tongue and teeth and the long-neglected should-have-saids of the past. Maybe it’s too late for this, whatever this is. Maybe those ten days also killed whatever was blooming between you before .

But then—he lowers himself to kneel at the edge of the bed. He curls his broad palm around your wrist. “Din,” he says. “My name is Din Djarin.”

Oh.

Oh, his name.

Din Djarin.

You love it.

You think you might love him.

Tears flood your eyes, but the sting—this sting of happiness—isn’t so bad. You brush the back of your opposite hand over the jaw of his helmet. “I’m supposed to hate you.”

He laughs into the night, into the darkness and the uncertainty and the nothingness that still sits in your chest but somehow feels lighter. He lifts the edge of his helm to kiss your fingers. “And I you.”

/

When morning comes, there is no pain to rouse you. Gone is the past week of waking to the will of Breeth’s trigger finger. Your crown was lost, displaced in the escape from the mansion. There is no one here to shock you or contort your spine for his own pleasure.

When morning comes, there is no forcefield to keep you locked within a tower. You are no princess—never have been, never will be—but Breeth seemed to imagine you as one. The blue hue of your arm is a constant reminder of the twisted role you played, but there is no one here to restrict your movement.

When morning comes, there is only the comforting silence of space and the soft snore of the Mandalorian beside you.

You roll over, away from the viewports to face him. Din—Din Djarin. How sweet, the sound of his name. It flutters through your mind like the wings of a twittering bird or painted butterfly. If you spoke it aloud, you’re sure your tongue would dissolve into a sugary paste. 

You cannot make out his face in the room’s shadow. The Sunder hangs suspended in some inky part of the galaxy, where the stars hide from view. As a result, his cabin is darker than the visor of his helm. Still, you can feel him and his nakedness. The sensation of his openness washes over you in a wave, and you surrender to the surf with a choked smile.

Din Djarin. Fucking bastard. He was with you from the start, from the moment he sent a flower to your door at that ridiculous hotel and signed his own name. 

You lift a hand to search for his shoulder. You find warm, exposed skin. The flesh beneath your fingers is pliable to the touch; he’s less bulky than you might’ve assumed. Though you’ve fucked plenty of times before this moment, you’ve never had the opportunity to truly feel him, not so uncovered. You like his softness. He might appear so, but he is not all gruff and bluster and arrogance. You were wrong to assume it. There is a gentleness to him, and it reflects in the more delicate parts of his body.

Your finger dips over dozens of scars as you inch closer to his face. Short ones; gnarled ones; ones that should have received medical attention but likely didn’t. That skin feels unnaturally smooth and worn with time. You don’t like imagining him hurt. Not after everything he has done for you, risked and sacrificed for you. Peace is what he deserves now; not pain.

You skim your knuckles over the column of his neck and the straight line of his jaw. Patchy facial hair prickles your skin. Turning your thumb over, you find his bottom lip and—

A hand wraps around your wrist. “Keep going, and you’ll know all my secrets.”

You gasp, though you aren’t afraid. Not really. You’re safe here with him.

Mando—no—Din pushes your curious fingers away from his face. “I’m not—” He sighs. “It’s not that I don’t want—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

He goes pensive—quiet, distant, a lonely cloud in a gray sky—then says in a hushed whisper: “You deserve more.”

“Din—” 

Oh . Your heart clenches at the sound, and your voice catches on the choked sensation in your throat. Your head spins. Sugar explodes on your tongue; his name tastes as sweet as you thought it would. 

You clear your throat. “Din, you’ve given me everything I need. You don’t have to give anything more…”

“Say it again.” He shuffles closer, his shoulders twisting against the bedsheets. “Forget about what I said before.” His voice is sleep-rough and divine; urgent too. “I want you to say my name.”

Avoidance—a tactic with which you are both well acquainted. You should push back, should draw his concerns out of him. But there will be time enough in the light of day to convince him of his worth. Time enough to mend your broken spirits together with a careful needle. You have nothing but time. And right now, in this moment, your time is best spent on obeying his every command. So—

You grin and purr his name into the dark: “Din.” He inhales sharply, and you laugh through smiling teeth. “Din Djarin.”

Grabbing either side of your head, he pulls your face forward. The air in your chest wrenches past your lips with a sputter. You plant a hand on his chest to keep from bashing your nose against his, and beneath the warmth of his skin, his heart thrums to a frantic pulse. Forehead to forehead, he drinks in your thin exhales of suspense. Kriffing hell, you can taste him on your tongue; like morning stiffness and a hint of mint. It shouldn’t taste good, but it does. You want more. You angle your lips upwards, near his, but he refuses to close the minuscule space between you. 

The end of his nose brushes yours in a feathery, evasive movement. “Let me kiss you when you see my face,” he whispers, explaining nothing more.

Eyes fluttering shut on the promise, you nod. “Okay.”

His lips to your cheek, a seal of commitment. He dips his head to the curve of your neck and exhales. Warm breath fans over your skin, and you shiver. “Okay.”

He remains there, tucked in the safety of your body, and you relax into him. You push your hand over his collarbone and around his neck to sift through the fine curls at the base of his skull. Brushing your cheek over his, you smile to feel the bristle of his facial hair. So many things you didn’t know about him, so many things yet to learn. The potential of the future unfolds like a map on your palms, as much a part of you as the beat of your heart.

He is a strong man, a good man, you think. His strength resides in the comfort of his arms around your middle and his hand splayed over your back. He is firm, unmoving. You can rest here. After so long—so terribly long—you can rest. 

“I thought I’d lost you.”

His whisper startles you from that place between waking and sleeping. You pull back slightly, tilting your chin inward as though it gives you a view of his face; it doesn’t. “What?”

He squeezes you close. “With that… monster… I thought you were gone.”

You realize then that he must have been as terrified as you. When you were far away and silent, he must have assumed the worst. Your stomach twists at the thought of him frenzied and afraid, ripping through the stars like a dog on a fading scent. But he found you.

You found each other.

“I’m here.” You tighten your arms around his back, smoothing a hand through his hair. “I’m here, Din. I’m not going anywhere again.”

He hums in approval—the vibrations of his chest rumble against yours—and then he lays a wet kiss to your neck. You stiffen at first, caught off guard by the swift change in the air, but when his tongue runs flat over your skin, you release your hold on the weight of moments past. You want this: him uncovered and laid bare in the darkness and safety of his room. After readying yourself to lose him, you want to revel in the feel of the very thing you’d prepared to forfeit.

Din lifts his mouth to nip at your chin before whispering, dark and loose, “Tell me to stop and I will.”

You shake your head as you fit yourself more completely beneath his broad frame. “Don’t stop.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

Moving his hands to your hips, he grips the flesh there, kneading his fingers in the supple parts of your body. He drags his tongue over your neck, from one side to another, pausing long enough to swirl the tip of the muscle in the dip of your collarbone. An anxious trill whistles down your spine. You forgot how good he could feel, and you certainly didn’t realize how patient he could be with his mouth. 

He teases you mercilessly. Down the length of your neck, he nips and bites, soothing each injury with the wet tang of his spit. He cups your breasts through the thin fabric of your nightgown and presses his tongue flat against the rise of your chest. You catch your lower lip between your teeth, arching into him.

“Missed these,” he murmurs. You can hear his smirk, and you smile in response, pressing your hand to the back of his head. 

“Have at ‘em then.”

Squeezing one breast with the full weight of his hand, he swirls his tongue over your opposite nipple. Saliva wets your nightgown until your nipple is a peaked bud pressing through the material. You whine as he switches to the neglected breast. He feels good—more than good. He feels electrifying. 

He sucks on your tits until you see stars. Heat pools between your legs, dripping onto the insides of your thighs. Touches so simple yet they pull you apart, turn your brain to fuzz, and set your heart on fire. Maker, you missed this.

Impatient, you part your legs and swing them around his back. You dig your heels into the meat of his ass, and his hips buck forward. His half-hard cock brushes your thigh, and he ducks his head on a shiver.

“Sensitive?” you tease.

He silences you with a quick thrust of his hips upward. Your cocksure attitude melts as his body grinds into yours. Oh stars above, even with your clothes on, he feels like a miracle. You fasten your legs around his hips, pressing your core against whatever flesh or material you can find. Din chuckles—fucking chuckles—and it only makes you all the more desperate. You want him; you need him; to wash away the past week and a half with his cum in your cunt and his mouth anywhere on your body. 

“In me,” you pant. Careful to avoid his lips, you press your mouth to his cheeks, his jaw, his neck. You are frantic to feel him as close as you can, to merge your body with his. “Inside me. Please, Din.”

As hurried as you are, Din is the opposite. He removes your arms from around his neck, securing both wrists with one hand, and shuffles out from between your legs. He anchors your wrists above your head and hesitates, lingering at your mouth. His hot breath mingles with yours. So close, close enough to practically taste. If you concentrate hard enough, you can imagine his lips descending to touch your mouth. You wonder how soft his lips might be… 

A sliver of light peeks through one of the viewports on the wall. (You vaguely wonder if he lowered some shield to darken the room, and if he were to open those shields, if the light of a thousand stars would paint him to look like an angel.) That light carves over his nose and the purse of his mouth. It is more than you have ever seen of his face, and to you, he appears as a god carved from marble. You close your eyes—out of necessity. Out of respect.

When he is ready, you will look.

“There’s something I want to do first.”

You frown, having been so focused on the nearness of his face that you forgot what was said before. “Huh?”

Releasing his hold on your wrists, he smooths his hand down the length of your arm. His eyes remain on your face as he pushes himself lower, lower, until his mouth hovers over the space between your legs. In the shadows, you watch him as he grins like a fiend, his fingers inching toward the hem of your nightgown that barely covers your modesty. You watch him as he pushes that hem up and over your hips and the smell of your arousal pours from your dripping body. You watch him as he skims his fingertips over your mound. 

His fingers—his uncovered, ungloved, bare fingers. You saw them once in the glistening lights of Xaxeris. The dark ink on the knuckles of his left hand, the trimmed nails, the width of those digits. You’d almost forgotten… 

He presses the pad of his thumb to your clit, and any distracted thought fades to a sparkling mist. Never before has he touched your warmth with his bare hand, and each brush of his skin against your most intimate parts sends you skyrocketing to oblivion. Gentle, slow circles on your clit—around and around and around. Your legs fall open, knees hitting the firm mattress with a thud. You drag a hand through your hair. 

From between your legs, Din huffs a laugh through his nose. He drapes his forearm over your hips and presses down. Your pussy flutters, but your mind is slow to catch up. It trails behind, pausing to sift through the roses of Din’s consistent offerings: his name, his hands, highlights of his face. You watch as though from above, peering down as he moves his face closer and closer to your heat. You cannot—will not—believe it until it happens, until you feel it for yourself. Yet even so, your body reacts and spills forward with excitement. 

When it happens—when he angles his tongue against your cunt—it is as though you are reborn. You are a block of marble on the bed, immovable under the carvings of your artist. Din is that artist: he carves through your center with careful, generous movements. Jagged pieces of stone fall from your senses as he sucks your clit between his teeth. You gasp, thighs buckling inwards, but he moves both hands to separate your legs from around his ears. He takes from you more incessantly, a water-catcher at the well. Feral sounds betray your shared excitement; the suck of his mouth on your juices is obscene. It is wrong probably—to enjoy those sounds as much as you do—but it propels your hips upward on their accord. You’ll ride the high till it bursts. 

Din groans in delight, and the vibration nearly sends you over the edge of orgasm. You release a whiny moan; and you would be embarrassed, but not with him. Instead, you accept the desire to sink into the bed and release your inhibitions. If he can do it—if he can give you so many sacred pieces of himself—surely you can do the same. 

He slides a spit-slick digit into your cunt at the same time as he flutters his tongue over your clit. Oh shit. You grab a tuft of his hair between tight fingers as your limbs go taut with starlight. Keening, you dip your head back into the pillows, swiveling your hips in time with Din’s mouth and finger. He matches your pace, and it isn’t long before you tumble into release with a pitiful moan and gush of liquid. Electricity unlike the sort Breeth subjected you to zings through your muscles. You spasm, and a drop of sweat slides down your brow. Heartbeat pulsing in your cunt, you move Din’s face away from the heart of you. Your cunt is swollen, glistening with spit and your own cum. 

Din pushes himself forward so that either hand rests alongside your head. He drags the back of his wrist over his mouth. “You taste good, mesh’la.”

It takes effort not to pout and ask for his lips on your pussy again. It takes even more effort to not wrap your arms around his shoulders and taste yourself on his tongue. To avoid either action, you reach between your layered bodies and find his cock warm and wanting. You grin as you brush your fingers over his weeping tip. 

“I’m sure you taste good too,” you whisper. “But right now, I’d really like you to be inside of me.”

Din smiles (you know the shift in energy when his emotions play out on his face now), and he dips his head as though to kiss you. But he stops himself a hair’s breadth away. Your hand stills on his cock, your breathing gone tight. He hesitates—openly warring with himself and his principles. 

“Inside me,” you urge, giving his length a firm stroke. “Please.”

He nods, and you feel his smile fade. He grumbles something as he pushes your hand away from his cock, fisting himself a few times before positioning himself at your entrance. You slide your hands over his arms, his muscles, turning your face to kiss the skin you can find.

He sheathes himself inside of you in one shift thrust. You choke on a gasp, and he shudders, pressing his face into the curve of your neck. So thick and long, so filling. You shiver.

“Maker.” Din withdraws far enough to tease the head of his cock on your clit. “Such a good girl.”

When he thrusts into you a second time, you twine your arms around his neck and your legs around his middle, and you fall into a rhythm beneath him. In a way, you are separate entities searching for release side by side. He is quiet as he drives his cock into your body, and you keep your moans to a minimum. There is no excitement here; the mood has shifted. Instead there is relief and safety and purpose. Each thrust claims you for himself; each squeeze of your cunt around his cock is a sign of commitment. 

Din smooths his palm over the sweat-matted hair on your brow. He leans his forehead on yours, huffing with each thrust. “Gonna—” He grits his teeth. “Gonna cum soon.”

You touch his cheek. “Please.”

“Want you to first.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

His hips stutter on a hard thrust. He shakes his head. “Want you to first.”

Din makes good on his word, determined to the last. He angles his hips just so and grinds his pubic bone into your clit until you come high and crash fast. You spasm around him, and it sends him over the edge and spilling into your cunt with a guttural sigh. His warmth washes the inside of you, washes you clean. He kisses your neck—soft and sweet as he pulses within you.

In the afterglow, he slips from your body and falls to the other side of the bed, arm tossed behind his head. His chest rises and falls in a deep breath, and you curl onto your side to face him. The sliver of light highlights the sweat on his chest, but hardly anything more. He is but a shadow. Still—maybe—just maybe—you might love him, shadow and armor and all.

“Where is your home, Scout?”

The question catches you off guard. You frown. “What?”

“Your home, your family. Where are they?” He asks without looking at you.

You resist the urge to speak your heart’s cry: Here, my home is here, my family is here.  

“Inora,” you say.

He inhales and turns to caress your face with his knuckle. When he speaks, his voice is an even rasp. “Let me take you home.”

NEXT CHAPTER

[junova]

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞.

notes: howdy guys, it's been a while. i've been taking a break and finally starting writing again, yay. it's been a rough few months and still treading through it, but i hope you enjoy a piece of my heart with this one.

if it's any consolation, my heart broke while writing this. </3

pairing — boxer!steve rogers x fem!reader

concept — steve has to come with terms of you not wanting him just as much as he wants you.

wc — 6.7k+ [yeah...]

warnings: 18+, themes alluding to sex, emotional cheating, soft!steve, heartbreak, kind of unrequited vibe going on, over all ✨ angst ✨

Even if it was the thousandth time to watch his body move in the ring, you still were memorized by the way he moved. You were in complete admiration of how his hips flowed so fluidly through his punches. Just like always, he was aware of your presence as you stood next to Sam and Wanda, both of them with proud smiles on their faces as he defeated yet another opponent.

Watching as they raised his arm, declaring him as the champion, something he’d been striving so intensely for, the past few months. Even if his body was bruised and littered with the hits Rumlow had been able to mark his body with and not to mention the busted lip, making him taste the blood with nearly every swallow.

It didn’t matter because he had followed through with what he had set his mind out to do. The looks Rumlow was giving him after all the smack talk he had served him was satisfying enough. Even if he didn’t think you did, he saw you standing there alongside his friends, celebrating the win of his life.

He couldn’t but smile proudly at your presence, even if the disapproval you have against his lifestyle was well known between the two of you and everyone else in your friend group.

Steve knew you weren’t a fan of the injuries you brought home in your shared apartment, the nights you actually stayed there. With Jordan’s absence from New York, you’d been staying there more consistently than ever.

He would never admit it out right, but it made his heart full. With you home, he could protect and he worried wherever you weren’t there. Even if he knew you were fully capable of defending yourself if need be, it would always make him feel better when you were close to him.

Just like him, you could confess it even to yourself, but when you were back in the apartment you shared with Steve, you’d always felt safer.

He went straight to the locker room, to clean himself up as best as he could without making his friends and Tony wait too long. He’d usually go straight to them but the group took notice he held himself back when you were around.

The first match you went to and he came up with bruises running along both rib cages, a bloody nose accompanied by a busted lip, he immediately took notice of the way you cowered away from him. Barely even looking at him as you congratulated him. From then on out, he realized how much it bothered you to see him physically injured.

When you’d come, he’d always make sure to clean himself up before. It really worked out on the days he didn’t want to be around many people. Only the stragglers from the crowd would be left, and his friends who supported him nearly every time.

As soon as he made his way over to the group, he was met with Sam’s warm smile pulling him into a warm hug. You found yourself wincing as soon as Steve did. “Easy there big buy, bruises are still fresh.” Sam let up just a tad, before everyone was congratulating him. You stood back with Tony, watching the proud smile grow on his face as he watched his prodigy surpass his monumental goal.

“You should think about coming to more matches. He fights better when you’re here watching him.” You twisted your neck so you could see his coach more clearly who was standing right beside you. “I’m sure he plays just as well when I’m not here. I still watch them everytime, just from home when it’s too much for me to stomach.”

You looked forward away from Tony, Steve coming into your line of vision as Sharon, his ex who had surprisingly shown up to corral by his side, someone you’d hadn’t seen near him in the past few weeks since she’d been out of the country for work.

“His technique and endurance is the same, but his intensity always rises higher when you’re here. I’m not the only one who notices, maybe the only one bold enough to say it to you.” Tony spoke as watched the man he took in when Steve was just sixteen.

Truly, it made his heart swell with pride to see him reach the level of success he had been dreaming for him since the pair had met. Knowing Steve for the past five years, also made him hyper aware of the girl he never seemed to shut up about, not that you’d ever find out.

No matter how much Tony was dying to let the words slip off his tongue.

“I’m just happy to be here for him.” Keeping your words short as you watched Sharon move closer to him, her hand resting on his chest and he didn’t even move away from it. You tried to ignore the ugly shade of green rising in your chest, but with him it always seemed to show.

Not that you’d had a right to, you weren’t single or emotionally available by any means, but the thought of him being with someone who had hurt him so much made you more protective of him than you had a right to be.

“C’mon little dove, have you thought about why you’d rather stay in the dinged up apartment with Steve than be with your boyfriend of three years across the country?” He pressed harder, making sure you were careful of your response. “My friends are here and so is my family. I can’t just leave everyone I love behind.” Your gaze never left Steve’s as he finally was out of Sharon’s grip.

“Steve’s here, too. You sure it has nothing to do with him?” Part of you couldn’t stand there with Tony and lie to him because you weren’t sure what was the nature of your relationship with the boxer.

Thankfully, you were saved from responding by the devil himself as made his way over to the two of you. Much to your dismay, he had to get in a few more words before Steve was in earshot. “Just think about why Steve lives with you when he’s had more than enough to move out for a while now.”

Before you could even process the words leaving his mouth, your favorite man in the ring immediately has you wrapped up in his arms. Holding you so close and so tightly, not even caring if it put more pressure on his lungs than he wished.

“Congrats on the win, Champion. I’m so proud of you.” The arms you had around him were placed gently, too afraid to put any weight on the new bruises. Not to mention the old ones which were still healing.

Once he pulled away from you, just enough so you could look at him. He hummed at Tony and with one nod of his head he knew when the young boxer wanted to be left alone. More times than not, it is usually with you.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight. Isn’t Jordan in town?” Not even when it was the biggest moment of his career thus far did he care to indulge in his victories. Always it seemed to be looking after you.

“Stevie, this is your night. We don’t have to talk about me — we’re always talking about me.” For a moment he almost bought your act until he looked into those dazzling eyes of yours, ones he never seemed to grow tired of in the past few years.

“I’m not happy unless you’re happy. So, if you need a night where we just watch romcoms and chow on cookie dough ice cream, you know I’m all yours.” Unknowing to the two of you, everyone of your friends was watching the encounter and still couldn’t believe you still were with your current boyfriend.

Or that Steve was just waiting for you patiently. Something that didn’t come easy for him around women. Before you, he didn’t really do relationships with women that didn’t end with him in their bed at some point. Somehow, much to everyone’s dismay, he managed to keep his interactions platonic with you.

At least in their eyes.

“No, Stevie. I’m fine. He just didn’t follow through this time. It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be fine. Tonight, I just wanna be by your side and celebrate you.” Although, he didn’t really believe you Steve decided he would let it go.

“Regardless of it, thank you for coming tonight. Means the world to me.” It really did. Even more so, when he felt like he was one of the reasons you were still in Brooklyn and not in California living with your boyfriend instead.

“Oh, hush bubba. You’re getting so soft on me and you haven’t even had a proper drink in you yet. Let’s just celebrate with our friends, yeah?” You kissed his cheek sweetly, before you were off to Bucky and Nat’s place to get properly fed and surely get Steve drunk off his ass.

It really was the elephant in the room you were choosing to ignore. The fluttering feeling of adventurous butterflies traveling to spaces you didn’t know existed. Everytime he pulled you close to his side or kissed your temple.

When Bucky would do something monumentally stupid, he would whisper a line in your ear humorous enough to hear you laugh. Even right now, when you knew he was exhausted, muscles sore and aching — Steve was still tending to whatever you needed.

In this moment, your body nestled between his legs as he draped his arm across your chest, letting him hold you close was exactly what you needed. Even if you tried to remove yourself several times because of the new injuries, he would never let you.

“What’s next, Rogers?” Steve watched as he craned his neck towards Sharon. You’d almost forgotten she was here, she’d been so quiet most of the night.

“A whole lot of rest and then in a few weeks, right back into training.” He spoke with pride because winning the title went hand and hand with defending it. “You should come to the club. Danielle’s been itching to see you, again.”

Steve grimaced, not just as Sharon’s words, but with how stiff your body became. The way you rubbed back and forth with the tip of your fingers against his forearm came to a halt.

You weren’t really sure what to do because now you felt horrible for even feeling like you had a right to be upset in the first place. Because you didn’t. You weren’t single and Steve was. In this space in time, he did nothing wrong.

When you followed Nat back into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, away from him, it felt like he had made a mistake.

Just watching as you followed Nat up the pathway, in your pretty green dress, as you messed with the necklace adoring your neck. Something he learned you did when you were anxious.

“Why would you bring that up now? In front of her?” He was slightly pissed off she had driven you away and out of his arms. Steve would have you within his grip constantly if you would let him. Not that you did, but it was still a certain something he found himself wishing for. More than not though, someone else always seemed to hold your attention whenever he wasn’t in the ring.

Jordan. Tony. Sam. Natasha. Bucky. Wanda.

Tonight had seemed it might go in a different direction, until Sharon steered your mind elsewhere. One where you were a girl who missed her boyfriend. Or at least that’s what he thought.

Unknowingly to Steve, Jordan was the last thing on your mind, which allowed the guilt to settle in. Maybe, just this one time it was rightfully placed. The thoughts you were having scared you senseless — making you want to do something you knew you shouldn’t.

You just sat there on the padded bar tool as Nat grabbed a bottle of white with a bottle of red. Like time and time again, Nat read your mind just as she often did. “So, why couldn’t he come this time?” She drilled into you, her iridescent daggers as piercing as ever.

“He said he forgot his mother asked him to help her move out of the house. He said he’d make it up to me some other time.” Just like always.

But you held your tongue before voicing it to anyone other than yourself. It’d been months since you’d seen him in the flesh, and it was the first time he spoke to you in days when he informed you he’d been unable to spend any of his time off with you.

“He’s just never here and he keeps asking for me to move to Los Angeles, but my whole life is here. Before, he never seemed to really pressure me. He was always patient with me to travel at my own pace but I think he ultimately thought I would eventually go there with him.” You breathed out, scared of the truth dripping right out of you.

“I just-, you know what? Nevermind. It’s isn’t important.” She was never one to bite her tongue, but she found herself trying to when your feelings were involved.

“Tell me. What is it?” Your curious, bambi eyes peering into your soul, dying to pull the confession right out of her.

“Do you even miss him when you’re apart for so long? I’m not judging but it just seems like you’re okay. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but why don’t you ever go to him or Jordan to you?” Natasha spoke softly, afraid she might be poking the bear just a bit.

“Of course I miss him. I would see him if I could. I’m just a little too busy right now with work and my family.” You attacked back, feeling the need to defend yourself.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” With both bottles of wine on the counter, she went to grab three more wine glasses — for Sharon, herself, and you.

“Say what? What the hell are you talking about?” You pushed her as she put out the bottles of wine as she managed to link the three vines of the glasses in her left fingertips. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was regretting it now, because maybe you weren’t quite ready to hear the words everyone else knew to be true. Anyone who was around the two of you could see it.

Perhaps, Nat never spoke a word of it because at the very least, she thought you wouldn’t be as naive to see his feelings. The ones he seemed to offer you on a silver platter, whether you wanted to reject or accept the offering, giving it to you wholeheartedly.

Following her out the patio door where the two of you stopped, not moving a step further. She didn’t really say anything either. Letting you bask in the glow before the fall.

He was laughing so hard, his hand clutching his chest as him. Golden hair shining bright by the fire pit, almost as

lively as his smile. Even if it looked like his spirit could have been beaten out of him tonight, he’d never show it.

When he had trouble keeping his eyes open, he’d force himself to stay alert because moments he could spend with ones he loved seemed too precious to pass up. Especially over the past few months — he didn’t even have to think twice about it.

Through the schedule Tony had him on, his life was eating, breathing, living boxing. Training every day in the gym, whether it be furthering his techniques in the gym to Tony making him regret any mistake he made in the ring.

Even some days he was just weight training when Tony told him he could rest. He couldn’t though. Not when he could taste the sweetness of his dreams on the tip of his tongues.

Every day, dawn till dusk, training consumed every moment of his time. Steve thought his body was restless before, but now? Nothing came even close to this.

Leading Steve to be blissfully unaware of what was actually going in that fantastically bold head of yours.

“Just spill it, Romanov.” You pressured her, but your eyes were too weak to redirect your directions elsewhere. Only Steve holding your attention at one.

“Remember when Steve left for Spain for three months with Tony?” Your body stilled, having a feeling you knew where this was going. Regretting you told her what had happened with Steve in the first after promising him it would just stay between the two of you.

“It was the year Jordan and I had split for two months.” The memory of what happened always clouding your better judgement. The way his eyes shined still haunted you. “Steve had already been there a month when it happened and the second I told him he insisted on flying me out.”

Looking at him fondly, across the greenery before speaking so softly as if he was right next to you, “I could never say no to him. I still can’t.” Nat tried to ignore it but she could see through the fog of your first love fading even if you were trying your hardest to avoid the inevitable heartache.

The care you held for him was oozing out of you, bursting and breaking at the seams. When you kept thinking of him more than a roommate, more than a friend.

“Dove, you can’t just keep pretending your feelings don’t exist. The more you try to bury the root deep the more it will grow.” You knew she was right, but you really didn’t want to hurt anyone.

You supposed you were already causing pain unintentionally. “His biggest insecurity is him. Jordan thinks I’m still here because of him.” You confessed, the ongoing fight no secret to anyone, really.

“Aren’t you?” Maybe if you had been a better liar, you could’ve convinced her but everyone could read you like the back of your own hand.

You hated the spotlight she was putting on you, but even more so because she was right. Moving forward with Jordan meant leaving someone else behind, something you couldn’t seem to prepare yourself to do.

“I love Jordan. He’s my first love and I thought he would be the greatest one, too.” You really want to stop the love and admiration flowing out of you, but you couldn’t choose who you love and maybe it was time for you to stop fighting it.

“Then, I met Steve. He responded to the ad I put out for the spare room in my apartment and we met for coffee.” If you had listened to your mother, her wishes of you not to be in the company of a man who was a complete stranger, you’d never meet the most important person in your life.

“He looked more like a boy back then. Clean shaven. No beard. Steve was still muscular, but not nearly as toned as he is now. But his eyes? They pulled me right in. Still do, every damn time.” You should have held some sort of shame, but you didn’t.

“You should do something about it, Dove. He isn’t going to be single forever.” Nat questioned as you followed her lead, back to the roaring fire.

“Nat, I love Jordan. I could never do that to him.” You really couldn’t, but you also couldn’t find it in you to move with him either. “I know you love him, but you aren’t in love anymore.” Growing closer and closer, back to the group, you saw him clearly.

“What do you mean?” Trying to ignore the pain in your chest as Natasha spoke. “I think you’re scared of ending it with Jordan. Dove. I’ve known you for a long time now and I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you do with Steve.”

The words spilling out of her lips left you a little broken — the truth spearing you through. She wasn’t wrong, not one bit. Nat never nearly was, especially when your feelings were involved. Steve had become such an enigma to you in the past year.

The line of platonic friendship and overflowing emotional intimacy was becoming too entangled for you to even comprehend.

“Just think about it. I just want you to be happy.” The rest of the night, it’s all you could think about. A few days passed and it was still in the forefront of your mind.

When Steve was walking home with you this week, you couldn’t stop wondering all the hypotheticals swarming inside your dreams.

He could tell, too.

You’d never been so quiet, not ever. He’d like to hear you, especially when you were drunk. Like you seemed to be now, at least to him but tequila that lit a fire in your chest a few hours ago was beginning to wear off. Just when the feelings you kept trying to avoid would seep there way back in like your furry, fat cat Thor when he wormed his body through the gate into the apartment.

“What’s wrong? You’ve seemed off this week.” You felt his hand kiss yours, but he didn’t bother to find it’s home. He’d been keeping his distance or at least been trying to. You'd been so vulnerable lately and the last thing he wanted to do was exploit that.

Ever since Sharon had made a comment about Danielle, and you escaped with Nat, something changed. You more guarded around him, more than you'd ever been since you met.

Steve knew there was a reason for it, but he didn't want to push you — not when it looked like you would combust into a breakdown at any given moment.

“I’ve just been thinking about where my life is going and where I want it to go.” You confessed, letting your words linger. “Jordan wants me to move with him to California and I’m running out of reasons to say no.” In perfect harmony, your eyes met his at the same time.

They weren’t joyful what his bright blues usually possess, but this time they were indifferent. Not even you could read them.

“Do you want to move there with him?” Steve asked you, his heart on the verge of dropping into his stomach. “If it will make you happy, you should.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, you watched him drift away from you.

“I don’t know. It might.” Both of you coming to a halt, walking up to the apartment the two of you shared.

“He’s insecure about you. It’s why he’s pressuring me.” The two of your bodies so close but so far away as you stood in the doorway. With a confusing gaze and pouty lips, practically guiding you into temptation.

“He used to always tell me you were in love with me. He was fully convinced, still is. I never thought so. You were just my best friend, that was it. I just never really thought about it unless Jordan brought it up.” You would have loved to blame your sudden outburst on the alcohol, but it was something you'd been dying to do.

Before you never had the guts, but you a felt a pull towards Steve lately, like maybe there was something more trying to burst under the seams.

“I thought Tony was bullshitting me, fucking with me, but I didn’t ever give it a thought. Then, Nat brought up Spain.” Nights you told yourself were a mistake, but deep down it was the probably the safest you felt in a long time.

“What are you talking about? What did Tony say?” Fetching for the key, he slid it in before opening the door for you and following you inside. “Steve, why do you still live here?” Blushing cheeks and a string of incoherent words was all you could make out from him.

As he headed for the small couch, trying to make up an excuse good enough. One which you’d actually believe, he hoped.

“You make four times as much as me, if not more. For some reason, you’ve decided to stay in this shithole apartment — it doesn’t make sense.” He wished you would make sense of it, that way he didn’t have to say a word.

“Do you want me to move out?” He questioned, watching your movements. If you wanted him to move out, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

It was the last thing you wanted, but the line between your friendship with him was always blurred. Only now, when it was vaguely pointed out by the two people close to the both of you — it became more apparent than ever.

“No, I just, I guess I’m asking why. You know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you’d like, but this place is a dump, Steve. Why on earth would you wanna stay here?” When he looked up, where you stood above him having a hard time biting his tongue.

Because you’re here.

It’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t have the right and he would just be an asshole if he put you in a compromising position. He already felt guilty enough with his feelings in the first place, he didn't need to pile on.

“I guess it’s just easier to stay. It’s so close to the ring and I’m maybe a tad too comfortable.” You sat next to him on the couch. Finding yourself trapped in the green of his eyes. “Don’t you want something better?” Maybe it was him or maybe it was you. Neither of you could tell.

The two of you inched closer until Steve was caressing your thigh, just with the tip of his thumb. “I’m more than happy with where I’m at.”

“Well, I’m asking because I need to go to California. Just for a bit. I need to see Jordan, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him.” He didn’t stop touching, not even with the mention of his name.

Even if it pierced him every time you talked about him. Or when Jordan came to town, he felt like he didn’t exist to you.

He didn’t blame you, not at all. Jordan was your highschool sweetheart, and you wanted so badly for it to work but something was holding you back. Something you were trying to let go of.

“He loves me so much and wants to start building this whole new life, but how am I supposed to tell him?” Steve said nothing, letting you sink into the ground.

“He’s been nothing, but kind and loving. Always there, always supportive. The best partner I could have asked for.” Steve laced your hand in his like it was the most natural thing in the world, making butterflies erupt at full speed.

You couldn’t really pinpoint a moment when he started, but all you knew is how safe his warm, calloused hands made you feel. Since the moment you met, never failing to comfort you when needed.

“Then what’s the problem, Dove?” Steve questioned you, untangling his body from yours.

If he was going to help you, he needed to think and being so close to you wouldn’t get himself where you needed. Above all, you didn’t make any easier when a small whine left your throat — tugging at his heart strings.

“We never talk about what happened in Barcelona.” You watched his body tighten, muscles in his arm constricting.

It made him feel just as uneasy as it did to you. At least you could find comfort in that.

“Dove, there’s a reason for it. You and I both know it.” Steve was right. His self righteous sense of nature always kicked in when you wanted it the least.

“You don’t think about it? Because I do.” Pushing weight on his heart, you were very aware you held. You weren’t too naive to know just how much he cared for you, but coward enough to try and make him admit it first.

“You were broken up, things are different now. We’re home where you have a boyfriend and I have boxing.”

“Yes, where I have a boyfriend who wants me to abandon everything I hold close to me to join him without even bothering to ask me what I want.” You puffed out, exhaustion coming in overflow. “The past year, he hasn’t once asked me what I want.”

The boy with golden locks found himself wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, nurse you back to health with all the love he could offer.

But even he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t keep on spreading himself thin over a woman who was so conflicted, so distraught she was collapsing within herself. If he wasn’t too careful, he might fall right beside you.

“Before we got back together, he asked me.” You confessed, feeling better as soon as the secret flew from your mouth. “He asked you what?” Steve pressed on, a bit terrified of it truly, but even he had to know.

“He asked if anything happened between us the months I was there and I lied. Ever since we met, he’s been insecure. He thinks I’m going to leave you for him and it wasn’t the first time he asked either.” You wish you hadn’t dealt with the two of them so poorly, but with the expression on Steve’s face you knew you had.

“He knows I lied and it hurts even more he stayed with me anyways.” Steve didn’t move, his fear keeping him still.

“I don’t know how to be his after you, but I don’t know how to let go of my high school sweetheart either.” You felt trapped, in between an impossible decision. An old love, who loves you past your mistakes, past the hurt and a soulful heart admiring you from where you’re at and nothing less.

“Those nights don’t have to mean anything if you don’t want them to.” He spoke softly, his beautiful orbs catching yours in the moonlight peeking through the window.

“They mean too much to me, that’s the problem.” If he didn’t move as you inched closer to his body, planting yourself in front of him, you could tell he was straining himself.

“Do you remember the first time?” He looked confused, wondering if you truly were bold enough to speak of something you shouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Your hand found his chest, feeling the pulse of his rapid heart beat. “I was so shy and timid the first time with you, but you guided me so well.” Too fond of the memory of him worshipping every part of your body.

The very thing he wanted to do since the moment he met you, but Steve wanted more than that. Now more than ever.

“You don’t have to remind me, Dove. I remember.” He swallowed deeply, trying to erase the permanent memory of your body writhing beneath him, moaning out his name, begging him for more.

He still found himself thinking about it. Those two months with you had just amplified what he felt even more because now he knew what it was like for you to wake up in his arms, bare skin against his own.

The way you curled into his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist for optimal comfort.

Or when he’d wake up before you, which was most days, he’d find you murmuring his name in your sleep while soft fingertips caressed your skin lulling you into a more peaceful slumber.

“I never forget, Dove. That’s the problem.” With one finger, he pushed back the hair falling in your face tucking it behind your ear. “I tried to move past it, I went on a couple dates with this woman, Danielle.” You already felt your heart clench at the thought of him with someone else.

“She’s kind, smart, and beautiful and she seems to like me. Sharon keeps bugging me to take her out again since she set the two of us up.” Steve was trying to talk calmly, but he couldn’t ground himself. Especially when you only seemed to pull back further from him.

It was weird that Sharon set the pair up, considering she dated Steve not too long ago but it seemed she could put her feelings inside if it was for your despair.

In her daunting eyes, you were the reason her and the promising boxer broke up in the first place. As cliche as it was, she offered Steve an ultimatum after six months of dating — her or you.

Steve picked you.

It wasn’t like he loved her at that point. He did care for her, but you just meant too much to him. When kind, iridescent eyes met his own for the first time Steve never was able to stop thinking about them. Or you for that matter.

Carefully calculated as Steve could be, he managed to trap you between the closed door of his bedroom and his toned body.

“But I want to hear you say something before I do.” His gaze never faltered for a moment as he played with the hem of the short slip dress adoring your taut figure.

Half of your mind was begging you to retreat into your room and forget the last time you’d been pressed up against him like this. The other half wanted to see what he would do once he knew you were in the palm of his hand once again.

You had a feeling he already did.

His beard was grown out and his silky, golden hair that almost reached his shoulders make him look even more deliciously sinful.

“What’s that?” You tried not to gulp loudly, but if you even made the slightest movement, he would notice. “Tell me you’re in love with him.” His soft thumb caressing your side, not sure if he was trying to soothe himself or you.

“Just tell me five years down the line, you see him right there with you. Just say it, so I can move on.” He couldn’t even look at you, he couldn’t take the inevitable. “Tell me we’re just friends and Jordan’s your future.” You met his eyes, the prettiest blues you’ll ever see.

Commanding your attention without even trying — every damn time. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew seeing him hurt was chipping a piece of you away. Watching his arched eyebrows furrowed in distress, fine lines being made in the middle for proof.

Soft fingertips met his skin, smoothing out his furrowed brows, closing his eyes trying to remember what you smelled like. Just like Sharon reached her breaking point, he had too. Steve couldn’t watch you any longer without being the one you wanted without a doubt.

“Stevie.” You softly whisper, before pulling him into your arms.

Even if he was double your size, he let you hold him as best as you could. Comfort him even if you were the reason he’s breaking.

The strong, persistent boxer had been transported back to the sick and thin kid he once was before all the guns and glory came. Steve was right back to where he got rejected by anyone and everyone. A time and many places where no one gave a damn about Steve Rogers, not anyone he wished for.

You watched him untangle himself from you, but you weren’t sure just how much time had passed. A few minutes? Thirty? An hour?

Only time could tell and she wasn’t really on your side at the moment.

“I’ve only found love once. Back in high school, there was this girl, Hazel. She was kind, sweet, eyes that shined like fresh honey. The first person to ever show any interest in me and I was in love with the fact that someone actually wanted me.” Steve felt his heart clench at the memory he wished to forget.

“I truly believed I loved her with every fiber in me and I thought she cared about me too, until I realized she was just using me to get to Bucky.” You watched the distress wash over him again and you wanted nothing more than to make him feel appreciated and loved. Not rejected and forgotten.

“It broke my heart for months because I truly believed I was in love with this girl who I hardly knew.” He sighed deeply, like he somehow already was aware of the soft whisper of goodbye.

“It always kind of stayed with me, not ever feeling like I was good enough for anyone until Tony found me. Graduated high school and I started training dawn till dusk until I couldn’t anymore just to start all over and do it the next day.” He was looking everywhere but you. Even if there was not a thing in this damn hallway, but two pressured hearts.

“Not too long after, I met you and I remember thinking this is the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met in my life.” Now, feeling like an absolute dick because you truly didn't deserve for this wonderful man to be in your life.

“You were so kind to me and you had no reason to be, but I learned it’s just who you are. This amazingly bright full beam, shining their light on everyone else — not paying attention to how much they give even if it’s everything they have.” Your skin felt hot beyond comparison, the passion in the words he spoke deeper than the memory of his skin against your own.

“I always tried to ignore it, how stupidly kind and thoughtful you are. How much you take care of me when you don’t have to. You cleaned my wounds for months without even asking me what I was doing.”

“I already knew you had a boyfriend, one you love very much, but I couldn’t stop myself from being around you. Now, I have to leave. I need to move on for me because I know how this ends for me — how it always has.” He sighed before walking away, leaving you hanging in every conceivable way. You didn’t notice the suitcase by the door before. Until he was walking out of the apartment with his possessions in hand — out of sight and out of mind.

“Wait!” He was already making it to his car, the old beat up pickup truck he couldn’t seem to get rid of when you reached him. “I just need time, Steve.” You’d been sprinting after him, until you caught up to him, making his attention fully focused on you.

“Jordan’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had — I don’t know how to let him go.” You were crying because maybe, deep down you were hoping you could have your cake and eat it too.

“And you’re the only person I’ve ever been in love with, Dove. I can’t keep sticking around hoping you’ll wake up one day and feel the same.” He emptied his belongings in his truck before returning his attention towards you.

“Steve, don’t do this. Please. Don’t leave me.” You’d become so dependent on him, more than you realized. “You’re the only person who truly loves me and not for who they want me to be.” Trying to plead with him, but it felt like you were only pushing him even further away.

“Then tell me I’m the only one you want.” But all he was left with silence because you couldn’t and he already knew what you didn’t. He knew you hated change more than anything, that you’d rather stay in what was comfortable even if you were presented with a different option.

Someone you wanted more.

With tears in your eyes, you looked up at him like he was crushing you and there was nothing to stop the numbing feeling. He sympathized, maybe more than he liked to admit, it’s what he chose to live with over the past year. It started the moment he met you if he was truly being honest.

He knew there was nothing left for him, no matter how much his heart clenched at the sound of your cries. He couldn’t be the one who was always taking care of you, loving you, when you didn’t feel what he felt. It was splitting him open, and you just kept taking pieces of him away — parts of him you would hold forever.

He let you cling onto him one more time, begging for him not to leave you. He let you believe he wouldn’t as he calmed you back in a false sense of security. Until you were asleep in his soft sheets later that night, leaving you lonely in the home you’d been sharing.

With only half of his belongings with him, he pulled up to the project he had just completed. Even now, with not a single hope you would ever see it after he just abandoned you, there was still a light hope you’d be able to at least see it one day. If Steve was ever strong enough to face his heartbreak again.

tagging: @tonystankschild | @andromedasstarship | @tinylumpiaa | @brattycherubwrites | @bval-1 | @kayteewritessteve |

[yourcooladdiction]

i didn’t have a back-up plan | bucky barnes

summary: reader x bucky break-up but nothing one of tony’s infamous galas can’t fix ;)

pairings: bucky barnes x female reader

warnings: 18+ only pls!! (smut, unprotected sex, public sex), angsty, little bit of fluff, jealous bucky, cuss words

You’re sitting at the kitchen table with your head cradled in both of your hands. Your cheeks are stained from the hour's worth of tears and for a second you are so glad you didn’t put on any mascara this morning. You hear the screeching sound of a chair pulling out across from you and you refuse to look up. You’ve been going at it for hours now.

He just got back from a three-month-long mission, and everything had been fine until he told you how long he was going to be gone this time. You couldn’t do another three, four, maybe even five months without seeing him. You’ve been together for almost two years, yet it seems like you’ve only physically been with him for maybe 4-5 months. You didn’t expect much from this relationship. You knew when you met him it was going to be hard, and if you’re being honest, you didn’t think it was going to last this long…but there was something about him you couldn’t get over. You fell for him hard and now you are dealing with the consequences. You weren’t accustomed to his lifestyle, and you knew you’d never adapt to it. Being an Avenger isn’t something you just sign up for and it’s certainly not for everyone. He didn’t force the lifestyle upon you, he never forced you to Tony’s lavish parties even though he wanted you to but he knew you’d be too uncomfortable. He loved you. You knew that. You loved him. He knew that. But you knew he deserved more, someone like him, and you deserved someone more like you, with nothing too special about them.

“You want to yell at me some more?” You ask.

“Doll...” His tone is cold and emotionless. You know where this is going. You both have known where this is going.

“Do you think we need to break up?” the words escape his lips, and you finally glance up at him.

“If that’s what you want.” You state.

His shocked response is not what you were expecting.

“What do you want? Do you want this to work? Do you love me?” His tone now filled with sincerity. Where the fuck has this been the past two hours you think to yourself. You could’ve sworn you were taking the words out of his mouth, you wanted to beat him to it. But his puzzled look is telling you otherwise, telling you he doesn’t want this at all.

“Bucky, we haven’t been doing well for so long. It’s just... it’s just not working. Our lives do not mesh together anymore. You are all over the place and I can’t drop everything when convenient for you.” You explain your decision and he sits back in his chair.

“I’ve never once expected you to ‘drop your life for me.’ Jesus fucking Christ.” His tone back to irritated. There he is. There’s the Bucky that you’ve been dealing with for the past few hours and the past few months.

“We fight all the fucking time! That’s all we’ve done for months! When you’re gone it’s over the phone or in text, when you’re here it’s in person. Nothing has changed. Nothing helps. It’s not fucking working.” Your voice cracks and his eyes begin to water.

“I... I love you, I don’t want this to end. We can work on this. I can work on this. I can tell Sam I need a break and take some time off.” He attempts to save himself and you shake your head.

“Buck – I love you but I’m holding you back. You need to be with someone who understands your world and I- I’m just not that person.” You try to fight back the stream of tears and he drops his head in defeat.

He attempts to save himself one more time as his mouth opens but nothing comes out. You stare deeply into his piercing eyes. Trying to memorize his face. Trying to memorize him.

He stands up from the table and stops beside you. He reaches down and squeezes your hand. You squeeze back and glance up at him one last time. His eyes fill with tears once more and he takes off to the door. You sit there and force yourself to stare at the now empty seat across from you. You hear the door shut and the floodgates of emotions hits. You sit there for the longest time. Tears and tears flow down your face. Your heart has found a new home in the pit of your stomach. Your eyes eventually dry up and you know that this was the right decision. It was never going to work…

You are pulled out of your poorly timed reminiscing when your date reaches out and grabs ahold of your hand,

“Ready babe?” He asks.  

You force a smile and step out of the car.

You find it oh so incredibly ironic that your work is co-hosting one of Tony’s infamous charity galas. After you and Bucky broke up you landed a big-time PR job which involved working the one and only…avengers. You haven’t seen Bucky since the breakup but he had to know that you were practically working for the team by now. You had wondered how long you two could avoid each other, it was bound to happen eventually.

Nevertheless, 8 months post break up...here you are. The guy you’ve been seeing, a stockbroker on Wall Street was more than eager to be your date to this event. He wouldn’t shut up about the networking opportunity, and a chance to “meet the avengers.” Eyeroll.

You, on the other hand, didn’t want to go. You’ve been staring at the guestlist for weeks, well, you’ve been staring at one particular name on the guestlist for weeks. You’ve been racking your brain on why he would come to this event. He usually never goes to these stupid gala events, but yet he is attending a random gala…that you are in charge of…come on. You also find it convenient that he had a plus one beside his name. Of course, he does. He’s Bucky Barnes, why wouldn’t he have a date.

You and your date walk the imitation red carpet that’s laid out. You are the chair of this event so you have to pose for pictures and stop for questions. You hated this part of your job, you just wanted to be behind the scenes but unfortunately, people love you and your work, so they want to know all about you at all times.

You make it through the interviews and pull your date inside. He is enjoying this publicity a little too much. You find some co-workers/friends and push him off on them, and quickly head to the bar to get the strongest drink possible.

You order a dry martini with extra gin and take a sip.

“Some things don’t change, hm doll?”  

You stand there frozen. The accent. The beautiful Brooklyn accent that you miss every fucking day. Those six words send chills down your back. The way “doll” flowed off his lips. This fucker. You take a deep breath and pray your makeup has remained in tack and your hair looks good from behind.

You slowly turn around and are met with those deep blue eyes. His hair was much shorter than the last time you saw him, but still so damn handsome. The scruff along his chin almost makes you drool because you miss the feeling of it against your skin. Your eyes make their way back up to him and he is smiling.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi.” You say back.

“You look...fantastic,” he smirks.

You bought this dress specifically for tonight. For this moment. You got it in his favorite color because you wanted him to see you and admit you looked good. You give yourself an internal high five before responding to him.

“Thank you, so do you.” You gesture at his tux. One of your favorite looks on him.

“I-uh-I hope that it’s not weird that I am here,” he says as he takes a step into you.

“Oh, no. Not at all. I am glad you’re here.”

You quickly realize what you said and try to recover,

“SO you can take part in the donations! The more avengers the merrier!” You laugh nervously  

You idiot.

He chuckles at you and shakes his head.

“Is there somewhere more private we can talk?” He asks.

“Uh-I shouldn’t. I have to-“

“Oh right, yes, of course, you’re working. Well, maybe we can meet up before the night is over? I would love to catch up,” his voice is almost a whisper as he is only a few centimes from you. You can smell his unique scent. You used to joke that if he could bottle it up and sell it he wouldn’t have to run off and save the world every other day.

“Yeah, mhm, enjoy your night!” You respond and walk off.

An hour or so passes as you get caught talking to other donors before you can make your way back to your date. He is completely sloshed and making a fool of himself. Great. You call him an Uber and tell him he has to leave. He doesn’t take this very well and begins yelling at you. You and a few co-workers manage to get him outside as you wait for the Uber but he continues yelling at you.

“You’re just a fucking bitch! Get over your fucking metal-arm freak of an ex and you will be happy! I could make you so happy!” He says as he points a finger in your face.

Before you can respond a man quickly jumps in between the two of you and slams him into a wall

“Call her a bitch again and I will kill you, yeah?”

Your date's eyes go wide, and he runs off to the Uber as it pulls up.

“Bucky, what in the absolute fuck is wrong with you?” You yell and he chuckles.

“Really? I just helped you with that fucking asshole and you want to yell at me?”

Without thinking you take ahold of Bucky’s hand and pull him inside and off to a side room. You slam the door behind them both of you and he takes a few steps inside before turning around to face you. You cross your arms along your chest and tell yourself to be calm, give him a chance to explain himself, but as he opens his mouth you cut him off.

“What the fuck are you doing here, James?” You question

A smile splays across his face as you use his first name. He takes a few steps towards you, attempting to close the gap. You slowly take a step or two back still allowing the distance between the two of you. He smirks as he realizes what you’re doing.  

“Well doll, if you must know. I needed to see you He says. His accent was thicker than before, which is a clear indicator he’s been enjoying the open bar or some Asgardian liquor or both.

“What about your plus one? Where is she, hm?” You question.

“You mean Sam? Yeah, I’m sure he’s having a great time in there.” He chuckles.

Of fucking course it’s Sam.

“Why was Sam not on the – oh forget it, we aren’t together anymore Buck, you don’t get to just show up and call me doll and pretend that everything is normal.” You sigh.

“Why not?” He asks playfully.

“We broke up, Bucky.” You sigh once more.

“Yeah and?”  

“And!? And YOU walked away” You scoff

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me, doll?” His voice irritated.

“No, I’m not fucking kidding ‘you.” You tilt your head and mock his accent. His eyes narrow and the muscles in his jaw clench. You forgot how fucking sexy he is when he’s mad.

You two stare at each other for a few seconds as if you’re having a contest. Your emotions begin to overwhelm you and you feel the tears swelling in your eyes. You look down in defeat and you hear him let out a small sigh.

“Love.” His voice cracks. Fuck. You can’t hold the tears back any longer and you feel them fall down your cheek. You look back up at him and his eyes are bloodshot too.

“I fucked up, doll.” He mutters.  

“Yeah. You did.”  

“I know I did! I know! I should have stayed and fought for you. I know that now. I am sorry. But I’m here now. I’ve been working on this little plan for weeks now, to see you and –“

“No! No, no. You can’t do this. You don’t get to do this.” You interrupt, you wipe a tear away, and turn around to leave.

“It wasn't just me, doll! What about you, huh? You couldn’t adjust to my lifestyle yet you’ve been parading around all the other avengers for the past 8 months. Helping Tony with these bullshit galas!” He challenges.

You spin around and narrow your gaze at him.

“It’s my job.” You defend yourself.

“Yeah? I was your fucking boyfriend, not a lot of effort given there though?”

“Oh, fuck you, Bucky. Fuck. You.” You ridicule.

You both stare at each other down. Waiting for the next one to say something. You are soon questioning why you were so excited to see him tonight. Why you picked out this specific dress. Why you enjoyed it when he defended you against your douchebag date. You feel another tear fall and you quickly wipe it away.

“I should’ve tried harder. I’m sorry. I couldn’t handle the distance and I gave up on us too easily because I was scared and I’m sorry.” You finally confess.  

He stares at you. Contemplating what you just said. His jaw is still clenched, and both of his hands are stuffed into his pockets. The silence is almost deafening, and you turn to leave as your heart can’t take this anymore. 8 months later and you’re still not over him. You’ll never be over him.

Bucky grabs your hand as you begin to turn and spins you back around to face him.  

“Doll, I miss you. God, I fucking miss you.” He croaks.

Before you can speak his lips crash against yours. He quickly has you pushed against the wall as he deepens the kiss. You moan as you feel his tongue enter into your mouth. You wrap your hands in his brown locks and attempt to pull him further into you. He slides a leg in between yours and you moan as he grazes your sweet spot.

“Buck, we’re in public-“ you let out a raspy moan.

“I need you, please.” He groans.  

And with that, you’re gone. You give in to whatever he wants. He slips off the straps of your dress and you step out of it, he takes you in as if it was the very first time seeing you. You attempt to cover yourself up, you haven’t been this exposed since the last time you were together.

“Don’t,” he demands.  

He lifts your chin with his finger and places the sweetest kiss on your lips.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers.

“Buck, I haven’t- I haven’t been with anyone else.” You admit.

“Me either, baby. I couldn’t bring myself to think about anyone but you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. Let me show you how much I've missed you."

This time the tears swelling in your eyes were happy ones. He smiles as he finally renders you speechless. He wipes the tear away and kisses you once more. The kiss goes back to heated and passionate. You reach for his belt buckle, and he groans as your hands brush up against his erect member. He pulls his bow tie off and quickly unbuttons his shirt. He slips off his pants and underwear and once again has you pushed against the door. He begins kissing down your neck as he slips off your bra. He hooks a finger into your underwear, and you moan as his hands slide down your thighs.

“You ready?” He asks

All you can do is nod as the sight of him is enough to make you come.

He hoists you up against the door and you wrap your legs around him as he slips himself inside of you.

“Fuck, baby girl.” He groans.

“Buck – Jesus.” You cry out as he fills you up. He stills as he thinks he hurts you and pulls away to check on you,  

“Move, please.” You giggle and he nuzzles his head into your neck and begins peppering kisses along your collarbone.

He thrusts himself in and out of you at an unrelenting pace. Anyone else would probably be embarrassed with how quickly you’re about to fall apart but you don’t care. You’ve missed this touch for months. You’ve craved it for months. You knew you needed him again. You just needed to realize it.

“Y-you close baby? I’m so close. Fuck.” He moans.

You attempt to speak but all that comes out is a loud moan of his name. He smiles at how easily you fall apart for him. He’s always loved this effect he’s had on you. Even though you held your own, there was something about Bucky that made you putty in his hands. He knew he had to get that feeling back. He knew the second he walked out he wanted to come back. He almost did. He stood outside your door for the longest time but couldn’t bring himself to knock. He knew you’d come back to him. He knew he’d find you again and you two couldn’t help but get back together. You were meant to be.

“Fuck, I’m-“ is all you get out as your orgasm takes over.

“That’s it, doll. Let go. Fuck. I love you. I love you so much.” He praises you as you clench around his cock.

Your head spins as you see stars. With a few more sloppy thrusts, Bucky is moaning your name as he lets go inside of you. He slowly places you back down on the ground and kisses you all over.  

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“I love you.” You say as you lean up to steal a kiss.  

He smirks against your lips and wraps his arms around your waist. You two stand there in each other’s embrace.  

“Can we make this work? Can you be mine again?” He whispers  

“Yes.” You smile.

“Good, I didn’t have a backup plan if you said no.” He smirks and you laugh.

“Let’s get dressed. I’m sure everyone heard us.” You roll your eyes.

“Hey that’s never bothered you before,” he teases.

[gotnofucks]

Special Training

Pairing: dark!Steve x Reader

Summary: Steve takes special interest in your training

Words: 2k

Warning: Non-con, authority abuse, smut, very slight breeding kink, language, 18+ ONLY

A/N: dedicated to the sweet girl who doesn’t want to be named. She wanted some tough love for daddy Steve...hope you like it hon

MASTERLIST

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You ducked at the last moment, rolling under your opponent’s legs and grabbing them as you stood up. The body fell on the mat behind you with a thud, and you panted as the buzzer finally went away. Dropping down next to the fallen comrade you blinked the sweat away from your eyes, hand reaching out to pat his back.

“You alright man?” You asked and he nodded with a strained groan.

“Damn Y/n, you keep getting stronger every day. I bet you’ll be taken in the team very soon.” He commented and you smiled. Getting into Avengers was a dream, but the training for it was a bitch. Hours after hours of slaving away in the gym and field, dodging punches, and bullets until you prove your metal.

“Thanks Nico, I hope you’re right.” You said and helped him stand up.

“Dude, you don’t need to worry. Your punch is as strong as –”

You stopped listening to Nico then, body tensing as you saw him approaching you. The training gear he had on defined every muscle on his body, and you gulped when his eyes locked yours in place. Nico followed your gaze and broke off, pulling off an awkward salute.

“Captain!” He greeted, blushing at his obvious eagerness. Every new trainee wanted to please the Captain, wanted to get noticed to increase their chances of selection. Steve’s face remained emotionless as he regarded you both, nodding once in acknowledgment.

“Agents, done for the day?” He asked and you both nodded, hands behind your backs and shoulders straight. He hummed and handed a sheet of paper to Nico. “You’re being transferred to Sargent Barnes’ training group Agent, you’ll report to him from tomorrow.”

Nico didn’t question the decision, simply agreed. One doesn’t argue with Steve Rogers, not if they wanted to stay on his right side. People may call him the kindest man they had met, but he didn’t accept any cheek on the field. He worked his agents hard, challenged them until they almost dropped dead. He made them sweat until they had shed every last layer of what Steve found problematic before accepting them. Most agents under him didn’t make it very far for they either quit under pressure or asked for a transfer under some other trainer.

Currently, only five people were under Steve’s command, including you. Well, four, now that Nico was being transferred. You had a hunch what prompted this, and you didn’t fancy knowing if your assumptions are correct.

“You’re dismissed. Agent Y/n, stay. We must have a word.”

Nico left the room without a backward glance and you fidgeted under Steve’s gaze until the door shut behind Nico. His eyes were so intense you almost couldn’t meet them, and once you did, they never let you look away.

“Come” He ordered and led you out the back door. It was a silent journey to his office, the sounds of your feet slapping the floor echoing around the hall. His huge form looked so big he seemed to dwarf the whole place and you gulped in nervousness. He let you enter first, shutting the door behind him and locking it securely though you knew no one would dare enter without knocking.

“On the desk” He said but before you could move yourself, he was already picking you up and depositing you over his work desk. Papers crinkled under you, but he gave them no notice, eyes rivetted to you.

“Captain” You whispered, and his hands were in your hair, pulling harshly to tilt your head so he could capture your mouth in a searing kiss. You whimpered, his tongue swirling in your mouth and hands tugging.

“What have I told you about calling me when we’re alone baby?” He asked in a husky voice and you pathetically sniffled.

“Steve” You replied, and his lips moved to your neck.

“And?”

“Stevie”

“And?”

“Daddy”

He took your hand in his, placing a kiss on your palm before moving it to the front of his pants. Squeezing himself through you, he let out a moan in your neck, humping against you.

“That’s right, say it again”

“Daddy, please.” You said and his gaze darkened, lips capturing yours harshly again. It was all teeth and tongue, hands squeezing tight. Your hands were around his arm, useless against his strength. His breath was fanning your cheek and you felt one of his hands pull the drawstrings of your tracks.

“You’re getting so good I think I need to train you exclusively. One on one” He said, and you shook your head, tears brimming in your eyes. You didn’t know how you caught the Captain’s eyes, or why he was so fixated with you. But you couldn’t take anymore of this. This was blatant abuse of authority and you were stuck with it. Who could you complain to? Who would even believe you?

“Please don’t. I want to train with my friends.” You plead and Steve chuckled darkly, hands hooking into the waistband of your tracks and pulling them down. He rubbed his cheek on yours, the slight stubble scratching you and making you quiver.

“Friends, is that what was happening with you and that pathetic boy out there?” He snarked and you squeezed your eyes shut. Your legs were bare, and he stepped between them, gathering you close so his hardness rubbed against your clothed center.

“We were only training. Honest.”

He humped you, leaving open mouthed kisses along your shoulder and covered breasts.

“You can forget about him or any other man from now on. I don’t want any hands touching you unless its me.”

He raised your eyes to meet his, delicately wiping the tears away. You sobbed, eyes anguished and troubled.

“Please Steve, don’t do this. I – I just want to be a good soldier. I don’t want this, I never did”

Your words didn’t even make him bat an eyelid, instead, he dipped his hand between your thighs, pushing aside your damp panty and feeling you. As his fingers probed you, a mortified mewl escaped your lips, your heart breaking at the unwanted sensations forcefully administered.

“You don’t want it? Baby, you’re weeping for me. Why can’t your heart accept what your body did all those months ago?”

You rested your head on his chest, tired and so helpless. The smoothness with which his fingers entered you made you ashamed. How could you be a good agent if you could not control your own body’s reaction. Steve could play you however you want, he could make your howl despite protests flowing from your mouth. He didn’t care if you pushed him away, for he was so much more stronger. He took you without consent, just like he’s doing now.

Holding you around the waist, he carried you to his chair, sitting down. He fumbled with his own pants, finally pulling out his thick cock that he forced into your hands. You stroked, more out of habit than anything. He had trained you well in the ways of pleasure. He taught you what he liked, regardless if you wanted to or not.

“Inside baby, I want to be inside you now.” He hissed as he pushed instinctively in your palm. You positioned him below your entrance, slowly sinking down on him. A broken cry escaped you, the initial stretch still hurting despite how many times he had taken you. Your moans mixed with sniffles, heat surrounding you as you bounced on him, slowly, finding your rhythm. He held you close, intimately close, and extremely possessive.

He rutted into you, meeting you for every thrust, hitting your spot each time. His hands plucked at your nipples, your clit been mashed between a thumb and finger and soon you were falling, crying out around him. He didn’t let up and pushed into your limp body, going almost feral. You could feel every inch of him, sliding in and out of you. You could feel his sweat mixing with yours underneath your butt, you could feel like stench settling in your pores and making you his.

“So good baby girl, so good. Come on, give daddy another one.” He said and you shook your head, too exhausted. He didn’t care about the soft no’s your muttered, he didn’t care about your legs that trembled around him. He rammed into you with abandon, grunts leaving his mouth and hitting your damp skin. He pinched your clit and the coil inside you tightened, you tried to push away, you pleaded, yet he kept up until your sensitive flesh was almost painful. With one hard, almost brutal thrust, you came undone again, falling apart one more time as he followed you.

He weakly pushed up even as he softened, hugging your body to his. The golden hair on his head were plastered to his sweaty forehead, tickling your nose as he kissed you, teeth pulling at your lip and then letting it snap away. His cum was dripping down around you, and yet he didn’t pull out. He would let it cool on your skin, dry into flakes as a symbol of his ownership. You cried, tears streaming down and he bent down to lick them away.

“It doesn’t need to be difficult Y/n. You’re mine, you were mine since the moment you entered the compound. You only need to accept it.” Steve said, his hand rubbing your back to sooth you.

“Please, I can’t take it anymore. This is wrong.”

His hands cupped your face, rubbing your plump and red cheeks softly. The blue in his eyes drowned you, a cesspool from which it was impossible to escape.

“Baby, you don’t need to worry. Daddy is going to take good care of you. You want to be an avenger, don’t you? I’m gonna make you one.” He promised you and you shook your head. You didn’t want to be in the team because you laid on your back and opened you legs for him. Not like this.

“Please Steve, just let me go. You know I won’t tell anyone. Please.”

He sighed as if you were a silly child who was taking too long to understand two plus two made four. He patted your head patronizingly, rubbing his nose to yours and pecking you almost affectionately.

“Y/n, you can be so cute.” He mocked. “It’s amazing how you think I will ever let anyone, or anything take you away from me. You’re mine, now and forever. Nothing will change that, ever.”

He pulled out of you, pulling your soiled panties back into place. He didn’t even need to instruct you now to not wash his essence away. You knew he would be back later tonight, sneaking in your room to inspect and take you again. No matter what you did, you would never be able to shake him off.

You both dressed and he pulled you back into his lap for his customary after-sex cuddle. He was tender, trying to soften you to him but it only sickened you more. He had inserted himself in every part of your life. Everywhere you went, you saw him. Your own body smelled more like him than yours.

“If I see you with that Agent or another man again, I’ll have the doctor remove the hormonal implant from your arm to show everyone you’re mine.” Steve warned, his hand rubbing over your belly. Your heart thudded painfully, the threat of a pregnancy worse than anything else. Not only will you never escape him, but your dreams of being an Avenger would be over. You nodded, letting him know you understand, and he kissed your head.

“Don’t worry baby, you’ll come around. I will fuck the acceptance into you.” He said and you closed your eyes when he started rocking you, resigned to your fate.

Taglist:

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Protected : (dark!Peter x reader) literally adding this link everywhere hoping this would work for maybe some of you.

@shooting-star-love @stanmysoul @littlegasps @what-is-your-wish @bluemusickid

[kpopfanfictrash]

Raise the Barre (Ch. 7)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: mention of vomit, intense physical training, blood blisters 

Word Count: 6,829

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.  

Fifteen minutes later, Jimin pulled to a stop at the edge of the curb.

Stepping from the sidewalk, you hastened to the passenger side and opened the door. Your wait had mostly been uneventful, but you hated standing alone in the dark for any longer than necessary. Sliding into the passenger seat, you pulled the door shut and turned sideways to face him.

“Thanks,” you exhaled, seeing him for the first time tonight.

Jimin looked sleepy, as though your call had woken him up – which it probably had, since it was near 1:30 AM. Yesterday when you spoke, Jimin had said he planned on going to bed early. He was dressed in what Noelle would’ve called a groutfit – grey sweats, grey hoodie and silver-framed glasses. You blinked at these, not having realized Jimin wore contacts.

“No problem.” Jimin stifled a yawn. “Seat belt.”

“Huh?”

“Put on your seat belt.” He nodded at the strap by your side.

“Oh – right.” Hastily, you pulled this across your chest. “Thanks.”

Silence fell as you did, the awkwardness increasing with each passing second. Usually, you were better about things like car safety, but everything about this moment felt surreal. Jimin had given you his number barely twenty-four hours prior – you highly doubted this was what he had in mind when he said he’d call.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted, unsure what to do.

Jimin’s lips twitched. “It’s fine, Y/N.”

Glancing his way, you found Jimin’s profile dimly lit by the streetlights. He sat spread-legged in the driver’s seat; one hand placed casually on the shift. When he caught you looking, Jimin arched a brow and shifted the car into drive.

Pulling from the curb, he merged into traffic headed away from the club. As the bright lights of Excelsior disappeared into the rearview mirror, the cars on the road became few and far between. You drove in silence, city lights striping Jimin’s profile in black and white.

Finally, he cleared his throat. “Is everything okay?” Jimin asked, too casual to be normal.

It took you a moment to answer.

Usually, you would’ve responded yes even if it weren’t the case, since no one truly wanted to hear about your problems. Asking someone how are you? in the city was the same as a nod hello. It wasn’t genuine interest in another person’s well-being.

Tonight though, your usual responses caught in your throat. Tonight, you felt tired, frayed and dangerously thin at the seams.

Everything was not okay, and you weren’t sure how to say otherwise. Your usual walls had been torn, leaving you with this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your fight with Finn had been a big one, even worse than the argument a few weeks ago.

Still, Jimin was a newer friend to you – if you could even call him that. It wasn’t fair to unload all your problems on him. Especially at such a late hour and especially not when he was the one doing you a favor.

“Yeah,” you said at last. “Everything’s fine.”

Jimin paused, as though he knew this to be bullshit.

“Let me rephrase,” he said, shifting in his seat. “Anyone’s ass I should kick?”

You laughed a little, surprised by his threat. “No, no,” you said, shaking your head. “Nothing like that.”

“Good.” Jimin’s smile faded. “So, what happened then? How’d you get stranded?”

He didn’t ask why you called him, but the implication was clear in his voice. Honestly, it was a question you had no good answer to. All you knew was when you were standing on the curb, staring at your phone and wondering who to call, Jimin was one of the first people to pop into your mind.

“I was out with my boyfriend,” you sighed. “I said I’d go to the club with him and his friends, but it got late and we have class tomorrow, so I told Finn I wanted to leave. He… didn’t.” Pausing, you swallowed. “I ended up leaving, but I didn’t realize the trains had stopped running. Uber surcharge was ridiculous, too.”

“Oh.” Jimin’s grip on the wheel tightened.

“Anyways.” You slouched lower in his seat. “You’re the only person I know with a car, so…”

“Ah. Right.”

Curious, you glanced sideways. Although Jimin was responding in one-word answers, they seemed somehow loaded, as though they contained hidden meaning. Even his profile seemed cautious, full of a tension you couldn’t quite place.

Jimin frowned. “Your boyfriend just… let you leave like that?”

“He didn’t let me,” you said as you straightened. “I can make my own decisions, Park.”

“I know, I just…”

“You just what, Park? Spit it out.”

“I don’t know.” Jimin shrugged. “It just seems kind of cold. That’s all.”

“Yeah, well.” Truth be told, it seemed cold to you, too. “I’m not exactly… thrilled with the situation, either. He turned off his phone,” you muttered, turning to face the window.

In the reflection, you saw Jimin grimace.

“Sorry,” he said quietly.

“What for?”

“That just sucks, that’s all.”

“Yeah. It does suck.”

Jimin made an indiscernible noise of agreement before lapsing into silence.

It was strange to be in a car with him at this late an hour; oddly intimate for a multitude of reasons you pushed aside.

The last time you’d seen Jimin dressed so casually had been when you walked in on him with Sabrina. It had been nearly a month since then, but you hadn’t heard any gossip of them being together on campus. 

Maybe this was something you could’ve asked Jimin, but it wasn’t like you had that type of relationship. Sure, you were ballet partners and sure, you’d been getting along lately, but you didn’t usually interact outside of class. Yet another line you’d crossed by calling Jimin tonight.

Thus far, you’d mostly managed to keep Finn and Russet separate. Noelle had met Finn a couple of times – you’d gone to dinner once and gotten coffee together another time, but otherwise, nothing. Finn wouldn’t have wanted to come to one of your Grace Hall rom-com marathons or take a pilates class on Sunday morning.

Mixing personal life and dance felt strange to you, as though two separate halves of yourself were colliding. It was odd to see Jimin outside of Russet’s walls. He seemed more at ease in his car, like the lines of him had blurred more from dancer to person.

Something about the nighttime made things seem fuzzier. Tired from the day and just beginning to thaw from the cold, you found your lips and mind looser than usual.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Jimin said, interrupting the silence. “But I didn’t even know you had a boyfriend.”

With a humorless sort of laugh, you turned to face him. “Yeah, well. I do.”

“Huh.”

Hearing his skepticism, you insisted, “I do!”

“I believe you!” Jimin chuckled. He paused. “Is it new, then? I don’t remember anyone coming to watch your dance competitions in high school.”

Warmth spread through your body, realizing Jimin must’ve kept tabs. He’d watched you at dance competitions. He knew your usual crowd of supporters.

“Finn isn’t new,” you said slowly. “He just didn’t come to a lot of competitions. They got repetitive, you know? Lots of waiting around for three minutes of watching me dance.”

“I guess.” Jimin shrugged. “I used to go to my ex’s tennis tournaments all the time, though. That was the same thing, except no AC.”

“Right,” you laughed. “You’re right, at least our competitions had air conditioning.”

Jimin turned on his blinker to switch lanes. Pulling onto a side street, he glanced in the rearview mirror. Another moment passed, and then –

“We broke up before college.”

Surprised, you glanced in his direction. “Oh. Okay.”

You stared at his profile, wondering if you were supposed to say something more. You could think of many questions to ask, but they didn’t seem appropriate coming from you. You hadn’t realized Jimin was dating someone in high school – although, come to think of it, you did seem to remember a blonde girl cheering for him in the audience at Applause Dance Competition.

“It seemed like time,” Jimin continued quietly. “She went to a school across the country and we just never assumed we’d stay together. That sounds bad,” he said with a half-laugh. “I kind of figured though, if we were meant to be, we’d figure it out. The fact that we didn’t try spoke volumes.”

“That makes sense. Honestly,” you said with a sigh. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if me and Finn had been long distance.”

As soon as the words left your lips, you blinked. The statement hung before you in mid-air, forcing you to consider it for the first time.

This wasn’t something you’d allowed yourself to imagine before; what would’ve happened if you’d gone to a different school. Going to college so close to Finn had just seemed like a sign. You didn’t have the college break-up talk because you’d simply assumed you didn’t need to.

“Yeah.” Jimin sighed. “It’s hard, right? Everything is changing so quickly. You want things to stay the same, but isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Change. Grow. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Everyone keeps telling me change isn’t a bad thing.”

“Sure seems like it, sometimes,” you said softly.

Jimin nodded. After a moment, he reached out for the stereo. A familiar song filled his car and something uncertain unfurled in your stomach. You weren’t sure what you were even talking about anymore – change was a dangerous topic without Finn around.

When the chorus of the song kicked in, you smiled.

“I love this song,” you said, turning to Jimin. “I almost choreographed my solo to it senior year.”

“Really?” Jimin glanced at you in surprise. “Same.”

“No way!” you laughed. “Wow – that would’ve been awkward. Imagine if we’d both had the same solo.”

“It would’ve made us even more competitive.”

“Not possible.”

“You’re probably right.” Jimin smiled. “We were really at each other’s throats for a while, weren’t we?”

“Yeah, we were.”

Settling back in your seat, you couldn’t help but frown.

Something about this statement bothered you, although you couldn’t put a finger on what. Maybe it was what Jimin had said yesterday about your mutual competition pushing each other forward. Maybe it had something to do with that night in Danley Hall, when Jimin stopped by and said he loved watching you dance.

If you really stopped and thought about it, Jimin was the sole constant in your dancing career. Every year, at every dance competition, you’d make sure you were available to watch Jimin’s solo. You told yourself this was because he was your competition but really, you just loved watching him dance.

You could remember the cool air of the theatre as you snuck in, sinking into a plush, velvet chair and hoping you wouldn’t be seen. You’d loved watching Jimin near the front, close enough to see his facial expressions but not close enough to be seen from the stage.

If your solos were close to one another in timing, you tended to watch Jimin from the wings. This had been a different kind of intimacy, hidden behind the first leg while you watched him dance. Lights dim, you recalled Jimin’s silhouette while he would walk to center. The opening notes of his music would sound, and you’d stifle a shiver while you watched him, entranced.

As it turned out, Jimin had been watching your solos as well, but you hadn’t known this for some time. Not until he’d told you the other night.

Suddenly, you turned in your seat. “You know I think you’re talented, right?” you blurted. “There was a reason I was always trying to beat you.”

Jimin’s brows shot up so high, they nearly met his hairline.

“I – uh, no,” he said. “You’ve never said that to me before. In fact, you kind of said the opposite. You told me the only reason I won was because I’m a guy.”

Hearing your words thrown back in your face, heat began to creep up your neck. 

“Listen, about that –”

“I’m kidding.” Jimin shot you a smile. “It’s fine, Y/N.”

“I – okay.”

“Look, I know men have an advantage in the dance world.” Returning his gaze to the road, Jimin’s smile disappeared. “I’m not dumb. I know we have higher centers of gravity, and all that. It’s just… you’re also talented, Y/N. People love to watch you dance, myself included. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Staring at him over the console, you felt oddly moved by this speech.

It was strange; many people in your life had called you talented. Your parents, your teachers and Finn, of course. Each of those compliments had meant something to you, but this one felt different. It felt different coming from Jimin – more important, somehow.

Maybe it was because you admired him most of all. The realization didn’t shock you as much as it probably should’ve.

“Thanks,” you said quietly.

Jimin nodded, continuing to scan the road. His car was clean, you realized as you glanced around. There were no water bottles on the floor, no napkins hastily stuffed into the glove compartment. The only sign of being lived-in was a keychain dangling over the dashboard; a small, plastic photo frame with two people inside.

“My parents,” Jimin explained, noticing where you looked.

“Oh,” you said, bending a bit closer. “They look nice.”

He laughed, unable to help it. “I’ve always thought so. My dad is the one who encouraged me to be a dancer, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Fondly, Jimin smiled. “He’s always loved music. When I was a baby, he loved to hold me and jump around the living room to songs on the radio. My mom has tons of videos of it.”

You smiled at the image. “That sounds adorable.”

“And embarrassing. My dad’s not that great a dancer.”

Without meaning to, you snorted.

Hearing this, Jimin’s smile widened. “When I started memorizing all the dances I saw on TV, my dad convinced my mom to put me in classes. Things kind of spiraled from there.”

“That’s nice,” you said, settling down in his seat. “My parents have always been my biggest supporters, too.”

Jimin nodded, about to respond but then a blast of AC hit you and you shivered. You’d nearly forgotten what you were wearing – or more accurately, what you weren’t wearing. The thin tank top you had on did little to hide the bare skin underneath.

Jimin’s gaze darted sideways. “Are you cold?” he asked, reaching out for the heat. “You can have my hoodie in the backseat, if you want.”

“Oh. No, that’s okay.” Hastily, you untied your cardigan from around your waist. “I have this,” you said, sliding both arms into the sleeves. “Completely forgot about it.”

Silently, Jimin nodded – and then his lips twitched.

“What?” you demanded.

“Nothing!” He shook his head, fighting to keep his face even. “It’s just… you wore a cardigan out to the club?”

Glancing down, you felt your cheeks begin to heat again. “Yes,” you said, somewhat defensive as you looked up. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing. It’s just, you know.” He paused. “My grandma has that sweater.”

“Well, your grandma sounds like a cool lady.”

“Without a doubt,” Jimin assured. “Not much of a clubber, though.”

Leaning your head to the window, you smiled. “That makes two of us then.”

You knew the city well enough by now to recognize you were only a few blocks from Grace Hall. Somehow, you found yourself not wanting the car ride to end. Talking to Jimin outside of dance practice was nice – even fun, you realized with some surprise.

It was a shame it’d taken you so long to recognize this.

“Seriously, though.” Jimin laughed. “Clubs can be a good time! There’s dancing, there’s music… rumor has it you like dancing.”

“Not that kind of dancing,” you sighed. “That kind of dancing is just a dry version of a lap dance for people who don’t know what to do with their hips.”

Jimin hid behind a smile. “Ouch, on behalf of your boyfriend.”

“Oh!” Straightening, you glanced at him in alarm. “That’s not – I didn’t mean…”

Stricken, you realized the obviousness of what you had said. Forget about your face heating, your entire body felt like an inferno. You had just told Jimin, in so many words, that Finn didn’t know what to do with his hips.

Jimin waved this admission aside. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’ll forget what I heard the instant I get home. Up until tonight, I didn’t know the guy existed, right?”

“Right,” you agreed, settling back in your seat.

Rather than reassure you, this only gave you further pause.

It didn’t seem possible Jimin hadn’t known about Finn. Racking your brains, you tried to think of a time they would’ve crossed paths – only to come up short. Finn hadn’t ever stopped by the studio to pick you up, he hadn’t ever come to mutual hangouts with your Russet friends. Admittedly, Jimin had only recently started attending the same ones as you, but it still seemed unthinkable.

You and Finn had been dating for over two years. Finn’s name should have come up at some point and yet, it hadn’t.

Before you could respond, Jimin pulled to a stop outside your dorm. Glancing over the console, he smiled and again, you were struck by the image.

With his grey sweats, mussed hair and those glasses – you swallowed. It was a side of Jimin you hadn’t seen and something about the visual made your stomach lurch. Before you could launch into full-blown panic, Jimin raised a brow.

“Here you are,” he said with a grandiose wave. “Home sweet home.”

Glancing past him, you took in the steps of Grace Hall.

“Thanks,” you said, pushing open the door. Before exiting the car, you paused and looking over your shoulder. “Seriously, Jimin, thank you. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten home without you.”

In the darkness, you saw his expression soften.

“Anytime,” Jimin said.

You could tell he meant it. There was something to his gaze which made you nod. Jimin wasn’t the type to mince words or say things he didn’t mean. Just like when he said he loved your dancing, you knew Jimin was telling the truth. When he said anytime, he meant it.

Nodding, you resumed exiting the car. Waving goodbye, you stood on the curb until he was out of sight.

Once Jimin disappeared, you sighed and turned towards the building. Grace Hall was silent this late at night – it was nearly 2:00 AM and again, you were thankful Jimin had answered his phone. As you let yourself in and climbed the steps to your room, your thoughts began to race with all the what-ifs.

What-if Jimin hadn’t answered, what-if you’d had to walk home alone, or walk to find a cab. Pressing your eyes shut, you shooed these thoughts away. None of that had actually happened, so it wasn’t worth worrying about.

As soon as you got upstairs, you stepped in the shower – the stickiness of that girl’s drink continued to linger on your skin. After changing into fresh pajamas and brushing your teeth, you wearily climbed into bed. The last thing you did before falling asleep was call Finn again in case he’d returned home.

His phone went straight to voicemail though and, with a sinking stomach, you rolled over in bed and turned off the light.

After sleeping until the last possible moment, you managed to roll yourself out of bed around seven the next morning. This only left fifteen minutes before you needed to leave and even then, you felt like a zombie as you rushed out the door.

Grabbing coffee at the place down the street, you and Noelle entered class with barely ten minutes to spare. Jimin was already present but he was talking to Louis, so you stuck to your side and didn’t interrupt. You wanted to thank him again for his help, but all this flew out the window when a familiar woman followed Mr. Vlad into the classroom.

“Class.” Mr. Vlad set his things down by the window. “You remember Anna Hodelle, I presume – principal dancer at the New York City Ballet. She’s in town for a different master class and has graciously agreed to lead ballet this morning.”

The news was simultaneously exciting and nerve-wracking. Anna had taught a master class several weeks prior which left you sore for days following. Her classes were exciting though, and she was Anna Hodelle, one of the youngest principal dancers for the New York City Ballet in at least forty years – so there was that.

Her introduction didn’t require any response. Scrambling into place at the barre, the class waited while Anna shed her warm-ups and Mr. Vlad left the room. As soon as the music began, you found yourself grateful you hadn’t drunk the night prior.

Similar to her last master class, you found Miss Anna relentless in her pursuit of perfection. Her expectations were high and as a result, everyone gave their best effort – and then some. By the time you broke for water, no less than three students had already run for the bathroom.

It wasn’t pretty, but vomiting was something which happened with dance. Class could be such a grueling workout that occasionally, younger students pushed themselves past their limits. If you ate a big meal before practice, it was increasingly likely you might throw it up after.

You could count on two hands the number of times this had happened to you in high school. There had been some days you practiced so hard, sweat ran down your forehead and blinded your vision. On other days, the floor was so slippery, your bare feet couldn’t grasp the floorboards. Dance, despite being hailed for grace and glamour, tended to be exactly the opposite.

One of your teachers used to say you weren’t using your muscles if they weren’t shaking by the end. Ballerinas were seen as delicate, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Ballet only looked effortless – this was a carefully cultivated image for the audience. At all times, all muscles in a ballerina’s body were engaged, yet even when sweat dripped down her brow, she had to smile.

You’d seen dancers finish their combination, give a sweeping bow, walk gracefully offstage and vomit into the nearest trash can. Everything was for show, everything was for the audience – one of your favorite parts about dance was knowing the brutal behind-the-scenes effort everything took. It made you appreciate the final product all the more.

By the end of class you were exhausted but happy, wiping sweat from your brow while you applauded the teacher. After Anna’s dismissal, you immediately exhaled and trudged towards your bag. Noelle chattered on about a TV show you were watching, reminding you to catch up before Monday.

As you picked up your bag, you felt its front pocket vibrate. Fishing inside for your phone, you pulled this out and felt your eyes widen.

Five missed calls and eight missed texts. Once you opened your phone, you saw they were all from Finn.

Finn: hey [8:18 AM]

Finn: Y/N, I’m so sorry [8:19 AM]

Finn: I don’t know if you’re ignoring me because you’re angry, or if you’re in class right now [8:25 AM]

Finn: you’re probably in class [8:30 AM]

Finn: if you’re not though, please call me back [8:31 AM]

Finn: fuck [9:01 AM]

Finn: I was such an ass last night, Y/N. I’m sorry [9:03 AM]

Finn: … please call me [9:35 AM]

With each text you read, you felt your heart sink. Up until this point, you’d gotten through class by pretending last night hadn’t happened. Now though, you were forced to remember every detail of the night prior.

Finn had left you at the club.

He’d stormed away from your fight, turned off his phone and left you alone. Each time you remembered the night, your fury only grew. This morning when you woke, you’d still been pissed off – even more so, when you turned on your phone and saw zero texts from Finn.

Had your roles been reversed, you never would’ve done the same to him. Sure, it had been a bad fight but who did that? Just took off in the middle of a conversation and shut everything down. The worst part was him turning off his phone. As soon as things didn’t go as planned, Finn simply washed his hands of you.

That was what hurt most of all, the shame burrowing deep into the crevices of your heart.

Beneath everything was a strange twinge of guilt at having called Jimin to pick you up. This was easily brushed aside, though – Finn had left you stranded. If anyone had a right to be mad here, it was you.

“Y/N? You okay?”

Noelle’s voice pulled you from your reverie. Blinking, you lowered your phone and realized you were alone. The rest of the room had cleared out after class – this probably wasn’t the first time Noelle had said your name.

“Shit, sorry!” Hastily, you shoved your phone in your bag. “Yeah… yeah, everything’s fine.”

Noelle gave you a look. “Really?”

After a moment, you sighed. “No,” you said, turning to walk towards the door. “Why pretend? It’s Finn.”

Following you from the classroom, Noelle fell into step alongside you.

“He’s not hurt, is he?” she said carefully.

“Unfortunately, not.”

Noelle snorted. “Okay, so he’s in the doghouse.”

“Yep.”

“Want to talk about it?”

At the top of the stairs, you paused. “Finn and I got in a fight last night,” you admitted. “He wanted to stay at the club, and I wanted to go home – so he told me to leave. I did, but then I realized I had no way to get there.”

Noelle’s mouth dropped. “Are you fucking kidding me? He just… left you there? Wow. The next time I see your ‘boyfriend,’ I’m going to – wait,” she said, pulling up short. “How did you get home, then?”

“I – uh, well… Jimin picked me up.”

Noelle stared at you a moment longer. “Huh. Didn’t expect that.”

“Neither did I,” you said, beginning to walk down the stairs. “Finn turned his cell phone off, so I couldn’t get ahold of him and by then, the trains stopped running. Uber was surging and Jimin is the only person I know with a car, so…”

“Ah, gotcha. That makes sense.” Noelle nodded. “Nice of him to come get you.”

“Yeah, it was nice. Anyways, Finn’s been texting me all morning.”

“Oh!” Noelle groaned. “That was your phone! I kept hearing something vibrating while I was waiting to go across the floor.”

“Yep, that was him,” you said glumly. “Apparently he’s sorry.”

“Of course, he is.”

“He said he was an ass last night.”

“Of course, he did.”

“… I’m still pissed at him.”

“Of course, you are!” Noelle cried, slinging an arm around your shoulder. “Listen, tell him you got home alright – not that he deserves that much, mind you – but you need some time to cool off. He can wait until you’re ready to talk, right?”

Nodding, you saw sense in what she was saying. “You’re right.”

Despite Noelle making sense though, part of you didn’t want to wait.

Part of you wanted to call Finn back right now and give him a piece of your mind, but you knew if you did that, things wouldn’t end well. He deserved to be cussed out, but you were completely exhausted. The idea of fighting with your boyfriend left you feeling drained.

Noelle was right – Finn could wait until you were ready to talk, whenever that was.

Pulling out your phone a second time, you texted Finn you were safe and that you’d talk when you were ready. Once he responded okay, you shoved your phone in your pocket.

Noelle looked sympathetically on. “Why don’t we have a girl’s night?” she said, arm back around your shoulder. “We can invite Irene and Ari and just watch dumb movies and eat brownie batter in fancy lingerie. You know, like every guy’s sleepover porn fantasy.”

You couldn’t help it, you laughed. “Sounds like a plan,” you said with a grin. “God, what would I do without you?”

“Be super bored, probably.”

You snorted, but the thought stuck in your mind as you left the building. It really would be awful without Noelle by your side. Without meaning to, your thoughts strayed to Sabrina. Aside from Katie and Allison, you had no idea who she hung out with.

It had to be lonely for someone like her. Russet was intense enough without a support system. You quickly pushed these feelings aside – even if Sabrina was lonely, she had no one to blame but herself. You’d offered the olive branch enough times by now to know when to stop.

“I guess only one question remains,” you said slowly.

Noelle glanced your way. “Oh, yeah? What?”

“How dumb are the dumb movies we’re watching? Like, From Justin to Kelly dumb – where it’s a guilty pleasure? Or, more like The Kissing Booth dumb – where things are just bad dumb.”

“Why choose?” Noelle shrugged. “Let’s do both!”

“Deal!”

As you climbed the steps to Grace Hall, you continued to ignore Finn’s texts in your bag. He could wait until tomorrow, at least. After what he put you through, a single night of not knowing what you were thinking seemed appropriate.

When you finally gave in and called Finn the next day, you weren’t sure what you were hoping for. Finn had already texted his apology, so at least he knew he’d been in the wrong. As to what degree he was aware, you didn’t know, but you got a fairly good idea once he picked up the phone.

Short answer: very wrong.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Finn blurted, as though afraid you might cut him off. “I was such an ass to you Friday night. I – I don’t even know what to say. I don’t even know where to start. I fucked up so bad, Y/N and I’m sorry.”

Silence followed this outburst as you frowned, leaning back on the bed.

Noelle had graciously left the room to study at the coffee shop on the corner. Secretly, you knew this was mostly to flirt with the barista, Namjoon, but you couldn’t begrudge her for that. Namjoon did have the most adorable dimples you’d ever seen.

Focusing your thoughts on Finn, you played with a stray thread of your sheets. “I mean… that’s a good start, I guess,” you muttered. “But what are you really sorry for, Finn?”

His sigh was soft. “Everything.”

“Specifics would be good.”

“I was drunk,” he exhaled. “That’s not an excuse, but… I honestly don’t remember everything that I said to you. I remember the gist of it though, and I know it was terrible. I know you didn’t deserve it.”

You remained silent, even though you agreed with him.

“I wanted to stay out,” he continued. “That doesn’t really matter, though. I was a dick. I was stubborn and angry, and I took that out on you. You’re the last person I would ever want to hurt, and I just… I left you. Something could’ve happened to you. God, if something had happened, Y/N…”

Finn trailed off and you heard his voice crack but forced yourself to stay silent. Hearing him break was hard, but you reminded yourself what you’d felt Friday night – all the anger and terror when he completely disappeared.

This memory hardened you enough not to melt at his apology.

“Yeah, well,” you said tightly. “You’re right – something could’ve happened. The trains weren’t running and Uber was crazy expensive. I couldn’t get back in the club. I ended up waiting outside for nearly twenty minutes before someone came to pick me up.”

“Fuck.” Finn sounded strangled. “Fuck… Y/N, I’m sorry…”

In your mind, you envisioned him shoving a hand through his hair. Finn did that when he was stressed or upset and right now, he sounded a little of both.

“Yeah.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Who picked you up?”

Immediately, you stiffened. “Do you seriously think you deserve an answer to that?”

“No, no, I – you’re right, it doesn’t matter. Thank them for me, okay?”

You remained silent and again, Finn sighed.

“Are you… are we going to be okay?”

It was a loaded question. Closing your eyes, you leaned your head to the wall. In all honesty, you didn’t know the answer to that.

On the one hand, you loved Finn. That hadn’t changed. On the other hand, it was becoming more and more apparent your problems weren’t going away. It would be foolish to pretend otherwise – but all couples had problems, didn’t they?

In the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but think a break-up should be more obvious than this. A break-up should be something big, something irreversible. You were beginning to wonder though, at what point were problems considered insurmountable. Everything about this seemed grey and right now, you really needed black and white answers.

Both your lives were changing, as Jimin had said. Freshman year was a cacophony of change; in order to succeed, you and Finn needed to learn to grow with each other. Hiccups were to be expected, bumps in the road were to be expected, but if you wanted to stay together, you needed to learn how to fight for this relationship.

“I think so,” you said, opening your eyes. “I think we’ll be okay. I just… Finn, you really hurt me that night.”

“I know.”

“It can’t happen again.”

“It won’t.”

“You know… I want to spend time with you, right?”

“I… do.”

He paused for longer than you would’ve liked, but you brushed past it. “I know you like going to clubs and all that,” you said. “But that’s not really me. Maybe next time we can do something different. Something a little more low-key.”

“Yeah.” Finn chuckled. “That sounds nice, honestly.”

“Good.”

“At least my friends really liked you.”

Taken aback, you snorted. “Oh, come on, Finn. I was barely there.”

“I’m being serious! Ben told me he thinks you’re funny.”

“Ben,” you groaned. “Has all the humor of a wet sock.”

Finn laughed and this time, it sounded like him. His laugh had been watery before, a restrained version but now, his true mirth broke free. As soon as the sound hit your ears, you began to relax. Truthfully, you hadn’t been sure things would be okay until then. Hearing him laugh, you knew Finn meant it. He wanted this, too.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “Ben sucks, but at least he has the taste to know that you don’t. Next time, we’ll do something more fun.”

“Next time,” you agreed.

“Next time.”

Despite your conversation having gone as well as it possibly could’ve, uncertainty continued to linger in the back of your mind.

You spent Sunday evening watching TV, but still slept restlessly before your class the next morning. Mr. Vlad’s ballet was definitely not one you wanted to arrive at ill-rested, but Monday you showed up with bags under your eyes.

You tried to push all negative thoughts from mind while warming up at the barre. By the time class broke for water, you were feeling marginally better. Ballet was soothing that way. The repetitiveness of barre helped to put things in perspective. Your ankle had almost completely healed by this point and now, two weeks after the fall, your technique had finally begun to improve.

No longer were you the last one to catch onto combinations and Mr. Vlad only yelled once about your turnout at barre. This was a marked improvement from the start of the year and although you still were far from the top, you felt relatively good about your standing. You had a feeling once you and Jimin began to practice, the moves would come even easier.

The first combination at center was a slow adagio. It wasn’t particularly difficult aside from a lift in the middle, but despite the familiarity of the moves, Jimin was being oddly hesitant.

Mr. Vlad showed the combination with his dance assistant, Mina. After they demonstrated a particularly difficult lift, they gave everyone time to practice – which, in your and Jimin’s case, turned out to be necessary.

“Ladies, pique to arabesque!” Mr. Vlad called from the front. “Lift your leg higher and – the man lifts! He walks you in a promenade. Then you’re lowered, exhale – and bourrée!”

Brian immediately raised his hand for help, so Mr. Vlad left to assist in his corner. The lift was proving itself to be tricky – it required most of your weight balanced against Jimin’s side while he gripped your thigh, lifting you up.

You and Jimin began to practice, but no matter what you did, nothing seemed to be working. After the fourth failed attempt where Jimin nearly dropped you on your ass, you shakily landed and whirled around.

“Alright,” you said, both hands on your hips. “What’s going on?”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how’re you supposed to lift me if you’re barely touching me? Look at Sabrina and Paulo!” you said, gesturing in their direction. “He’s got his whole fucking hand under her leg!”

Jimin’s cheeks turned red. “I – uh, right. Yeah. Let’s try it again.”

Staring at him another moment, you nodded and returned to your spot. Jimin settled into fifth position, jaw clenched and looking as though he were in pain. You stared at him in the mirror, considering calling him out before thinking better of it.

Taking a deep breath, you piqued into arabesque. Leaning your weight to Jimin, he reached again for your thigh – only to falter, leaving you hanging.

“Jimin!” you half-laughed as you slipped down his leg.

“I’m sorry!” Jimin blurted, stepping away. Looking thoroughly distraught, he shoved both hands through his hair. “It’s just… well, I…”

“It’s just what?”

“You have a boyfriend,” he said, a bit pained.

In response to this, both your eyebrows shot up. That had not been the answer you’d expected.

“I… okay?” you said, failing to grasp the point. “So what?”

“So.” Jimin glanced furtively around. “I don’t know, it’s just weird! I don’t want to… overstep my boundaries, or anything.”

“But…” You stared. “I had a boyfriend last week and it wasn’t a problem.”

“Okay, but last week I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

Again, you looked at him as though he was crazy.

“This is stupid,” you said, stepping closer. “Ballet is our job, Jimin. It’s the least sexy occupation on the planet. Right now, I’m bleeding from three different blisters inside my pointe shoes. I’m sure my deodorant has long worn off by now. Would you just fucking get over yourself and grab my thigh?”

Jimin’s upper lip twitched. “Well. When you put it like that.”

“I am putting it like that,” you said with a grin. “Now, let’s go again.”

Nodding, Jimin followed when you walked backwards. Taking another deep breath, you piqued to arabesque and this time, Jimin didn’t flinch when your weight transitioned to his. Hand sliding beneath your thigh, he lifted you easily into a promenade.

As soon as you turned your head, you caught Jimin’s gaze and felt – something.

Something other than the white noise of the room. Something other than the thud-thud of your heart, other than the music on the stereo and Mr. Vlad yelling counts from the corner.

Despite what you had just finished saying, something unknown seemed to bloom in your chest. In the middle of the lift – blood blisters and all – you felt an errant spark where Jimin’s front pressed to yours.

You barely had time to recognize this before the moment was gone. Slowing his walk, Jimin set you back down – and you wobbled. 

This time it had nothing to do with his technique.

“Ah, shit.” Jimin frowned. “That’s my bad – I can do better! Let’s try it again.”

Nodding, you felt a bit wooden as you followed in his footsteps. When Mr. Vlad started the music, you fought the surging tide of emotions threatening to overwhelm. It had been nothing, you told yourself. Nothing of importance, anyways.

Shoving whatever you’d felt in a box, you pushed this to a corner of your mind and firmly shut the door. Forcing a smile to your lips, you lifted your chin as you began the combination.

It was lucky everyone else found you a talented performer, since beneath all your smiling, all you could think about was what was hidden in the box.

Something unknown, something tentative – and something which could be dangerous, if it ever came to light.

Author’s Note: I was so close to re-writing this chapter with Mr. Vlad picking her up LOL just kidding, but thank you for reading! 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre are posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST 

© kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission. 

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Lena Luthor x Reader : Mistakes Were Made

Summary: You really should’ve paid much more attention to the wrapping.

Genre: 18+ Suggestive language, Masturbation, Toys, Implied Smut

Imagine comes from this request: “Reader accidentally gives a lewd gift meant for their long distance GF (or ex-GF) to their friend, Lena.”

Word Count: 2,134

* * * * * *

You really should’ve seen this coming.

In fact you saw it coming, you just didn’t prepare yourself for it.

Now that you’re faced with your mistakes, you’re the most embarrassed and, quite honestly, the dumbest you’ve ever been.

The first mistake started not but six months ago. You were ignorantly blissful in your relationship with your then girlfriend Carly. You were preparing yourself to go on a two month long DEO mission and had bought a gift for her, one that would keep her “occupied” while you couldn’t.

A dildo. You bought her a dildo.

Having experimented with different ways to fulfill your desires while you were gone on missions, the added use of toys during your sexual phone calls was quickly agreed upon.

Your second mistake came the day you planned to give it to her. You’d officially been gone five days and figured the sooner you told her the sooner you both could make good use of it. So you called. And called. And called. Only to be ignored all three times. Then for the fourth call to be answered, on accident. Based on the noises you’d heard it was obvious what was happening, obvious that Carly didn’t need your little gift after all.

You ignored her for the entirety of your mission and promptly confronted her when you got back. She didn’t deny it either, just claimed it was something she never should’ve done and begged for another chance. But you were far from willing to give it to her. So you broke up, went through the motions of moving out and cutting ties.

Third mistake was still checking up on her on her social media. It was clear that her little side piece was more than that, when you saw the very new pictures of them together on your feed.

Your friends were one hundred percent ready to go to war for you. Kara and Alex couldn’t believe that someone would cheat on you, they didn’t understand cheating in general, but to cheat on someone as sweet as you made the least amount of sense.

Nia wanted to find Carly and teach her a lesson. A fact she made abundantly clear.

While Lena, she was pissed and confused and a million other things. The CEO has had a crush on you since before you started dating Carly and her feelings grew over the entirety of your relationship. She saw the way you were with Carly, how attentive, caring, understanding, and overall romantic you were.

All in all they could tell how hurt you were about the whole thing. You weren’t in love with her or anything but you were getting there.

It’s why your friends insisted you spend more time with them after the break up. Alongside your usual hang outs at Al’s and game nights at Kara’s house, the blonde planned a Friend’s Appreciation night.

That’s when your final mistake happened.

You all agreed on celebrating the impromptu holiday and planned on getting each other gifts. You wrapped and tagged every gift but one. When it’d gotten time for you to wrap Lena’s you got distracted as said woman popped by so you shoved her gift at the top of your closet and thought nothing of it till the day of.

In which you excitedly grabbed the wrong damn box.

Everything was going perfect, drinks were flowing, Kara was knee deep in a second helping of potstickers, and gifts were being exchanged.

You’d handed Lena hers with a sweet smile and a,“ I thought of you when I saw it so I had to.”

So imagine the hopeful surprise she felt when she opened the ten inch, fairly realistic looking dildo with a cute little red bow around it.

All the girls had asked what she got, especially since they knew of her feelings for you and figured you had at least a crush on her. But this, she couldn’t and wouldn’t share this with them. No this was to stay between the two of you.

Except you didn’t know that. Well you did but not to the full extent.

Which meant you were oblivious to how sexual her words were when she would text or tell you that she “adored her gift” or “couldn’t get enough of it” or better yet “wanted you to use it with her.”

It was that last one that started to tie things together for you. You weren’t sure how you both would use a diamond jewelry set. So you’d jokingly told her you didn’t think that was possible, to which she said “if you play your cards right it is.”

You figured she was just messing around so you brushed it off. Until you saw her again, stopping into L-Corp just to say hi at lunch.

A frown masked your brows as you sat down across from her, e/c eyes roaming her neck and ears,“ you don’t have my gift.” You pouted.

Lena’s eyes widened and she gave a disbelieving chuckle,“ of course I don’t, I’m at work Y/n.” She looked off,“ though it would definitely come in handy when I’m stressed.”

The last part brought a smile to your face. The thought that your gift brought her comfort. But you didn’t understand the first bit.“ Wh-why wouldn’t you bring it to work. Do you not want people to see it?”

If she wasn’t surprised before she is now. It’s one thing to give her a dildo as an appreciation gift but to now subtly but openly admit to wanting to be semi-public with it was another.

Did you have an exhibitionist kink or something? Did you enjoy the risk of possibly being caught? Or were you just into the idea of her carrying your dildo around with her?

“Y-Y/n I,” her shoulders dropped as she processed your words,“ I’ll do it.”

Leaning forward, you rested a hand on hers,“ good, I’m glad you like it by the way. I wasn’t sure if you even needed something like that but I guess it’s the thought that counts right?”

“Of course.”

The next day, you were more than happy to receive a text from the CEO saying she had your gift with her. You’d replied that “you wanted to see how it looked on her” which made the brunette flush with arousal and embarrassment, unbeknownst to you. But she was curious about how you’d respond.

The second you got the picture you had to do a double take which then led to you dropping your phone.

There your best friend Lena Luthor was, her legs spread beneath her desk, with an all too familiar dildo disappearing into her clearly sopping pussy.

In an instant, you were sprinting back to your bedroom. Throwing your closet door open and snatching the box off the top shelf. Nestled inside on top of tissue paper was the diamond necklace and matching earrings you thought you gave to Lena.

No instead you gave your best friend a goddamn dildo!

“Oh. My. Fuck.” You whispered into the quiet space.

The one thing you’d done in the midst of this entire situation that wasn’t a mistake, was going to Lena about it.

You raced to L-Corp, a million and one thoughts on your mind about it all. Every conversation you had about the gift.

Heat rushed to your face when you remembered one of the first things she told you about it, she couldn’t get enough of it.

How many times had she used it?

If it came from you, did she think of you when using it?

No wonder she told you she didn’t bring it to work. It was a goddamn dildo and not a necklace.

How you managed to be so clueless was lost on you but you had to at least try to clear it up, lest your best friend think you were some type of creep.

Pulling up to the building, you moved just as fast to get inside and up to her office. In the midst of all your panic you didn’t even consider the fact that you just received a picture of her actions.

The sight before you when you entered, stopped you in your tracks.

Lena’s head thrown back, eyes shut, as her arm flexed with her obviously quick and forceful pumps.

She was fucking herself with it, right there.

“L-Lena.” You fumbled, shutting the door before anyone could dare look inside to find their boss in such a compromising and vulnerable position.“ Lena.” You said clearer the second time.

Keeping up with her ministrations, she looked up at you, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. You heard the low moan she gave and at that point you were pretty sure it was because of you more so than the toy between her legs.

Admittedly you didn’t know what to do. Well you did. You should’ve given her the last of her privacy but you couldn’t take your eyes off her.

She was beautiful there’s no denying that, however nothing could be sexier than having seen her like that. Falling apart with each flick of her wrist, knowing you were there.

When she reached her peak she shook, her body overwhelmed and you had no control over yours. Walking across the office, you grabbed her face, and crashed your lips on hers. The long moan she’d let out now swallowed by you.

After she calmed down, you released her, and sat back against the desk. Your gaze followed the action of her pulling the dildo from her, catching how wet it was and nearly dying at the thought of causing that and possibly fixing it.

“I wouldn’t’ve been opposed to you helping me you know?”

“That,” you pointed to the toy,“ was not meant for you.” You blurted out.“ I got you a necklace and mixed up the boxes and I realize how fucked up that sounds but apparently you made good use of it regardless.”

Lena’s eyebrows raised as she dazedly looked at you,“ seriously?”

An embarrassed, nervous, smile took over your face,“ yeah. I can’t even tell you how I mixed up the packages.” You said, setting her intended gift down.

Green eyes flicked down to the box. With an embarrassed blush on her cheeks, she swallowed and threw the toy in an empty drawer. Then scrambling to fix herself.

The realization of the situation settling in her mind and causing that blush to deepen.

“Y-you- I-I’m so sorry,” she stutters out. Her eyes widen and she’s quick to bury her face in her hands.“ All those messages I sent and your replies I thought you-”

She stops and your eyebrow raises. You had a feeling what she intended to say but had to hear it.

“You thought I what?” Slowly her hands lower and her gaze finds yours.“ What Le?”

Taking a deep breath she nearly whispers,“ I thought you may have felt the same about me.”

Do I? You find yourself thinking. Did all those seemingly platonic cuddles mean something? When you kiss her forehead and she kisses your cheek is there something behind that?

Is the love you feel for her more than friendly? Had you just pushed the way you use to feel about her away? Was it that easy?

You’re smart enough to know feelings are never easy. And aware of your emotional state to know that there was always something romantic behind everything you did with and for Lena.

“I do.” Her eyes, that had fallen to the desk, snap up to yours in surprise.“ I’ve always felt something for you Lena.”

“But Carly-”

“Is my ex. And while I’m still dealing with the hurt of that, I’m completely over her.” You raise a hand to gently rest against her cheek.“ I’d like to take you out sometime, maybe explore what we’ve both been feeling?”

She seems to be frozen for a moment. Her eyes clearly search yours for sincerity and she nods upon finding it.“ I’d like that.”

Smiling, you lean down and capture her lips in a sweet kiss. A smile of her own forms into it causing you both to pull away.

Your breath ghosts over her lips as you teasingly whisper,“ and maybe you can call me the next time you use that thing.”

Even though she chuckles disbelievingly and swats your arm, a blush finds its place on her cheeks again, this time purely from arousal instead of embarrassment.

When you go for another kiss, you can’t help but think that maybe your mistakes weren't that bad.

[whereismymindnow]

The Hand That Feeds (Ripper!Stefan x OC) Chapter 2

Author's Note: Hey, sorry for the delay. I’ve had ¾ of this chapter written for about a year. I did want to update on the 12 month anniversary of the story, but my father passed away in September so it all collided with each other. I’m okay. Not great, but I’m trying to get back into things I used to enjoy.

Some of you were asking for a part 2… and some of you wanted smut so I hope you enjoy the ending! I haven’t written 18+ content in a while so I hope it’s not too awful. xD

Summary: Elena and Ripper!Delilah come face to face.

Warnings: Ripper!Smut. Blood, gore.

Chapters so far: One Two Three

Chapter Two: You’re Such A Good Girl

Damon’s body almost immediately froze in place as he exited the car; the generally cocky vampire looked completely out of his depth. “Damon, what’s wrong?” He wanted to yell as Elena quickly ran around the car and grabbed his arm. Her reddened, swollen eyes showed just how much crying she had been doing after not being able to trace her sister.

“Something isn’t right. Stay behind me, Elena.” He murmured as he slowly walked up to the door. He grimaced as blood stained the handle; the door wasn’t even shut and had been left open by a few inches, almost as though it was beckoning people to come inside. A small giggle reached his ears, the familiar voice making him swallow down the nausea he was feeling. “Oh, Stefan, what have you done?”

The pair entered the living space and froze. The chandelier was smashed to the ground, in its place was a hanging bubble chair. The back was to them but he could see two slim legs rocking back and forth making the chair swing. More giggles broke free as the chair gave a harsh jolt, the chain it was attached to giving a groan as though it was saying it wasn’t meant to be used like this. Elena felt her eyes begin to water as she recognised the laughter coming from the girl in the bubble.

“Delilah?” As if on cue, the laughter stopped and all was silent for a few moments. The girl landed gracefully on the floor before vamping in front of her sister, leaving a trail of blood behind her from where the broken bits of chandelier had dug into her feet as she carelessly stepped through it. Damon gave a gentle shove backwards before the baby vampire could get too close. His heart clenched as he took in the soft features that were now tainted with blood and hunger.

Delilah inhaled her sister’s scent, her mouth-watering as she heard the pounding heartbeat. “How have you not drained her yet, Damon?” Dark veins grew beneath her eyes as Elena stumbled backwards in horror. “She smells delicious.” Elena swallowed down a sob and shook her head in denial. This wasn’t her sister.

“Welcome home, brother!” Stefan sauntered into the lounge with a tumbler of whiskey in his grasp. His chest was bare; splatters of blood trailed down his abdomen and stained his jeans. “Look who I found.” He motioned to Lilah with a wink. It had been close to a week since anyone had seen the eldest Gilbert. None of them had thought Stefan would have had anything to do with the girl’s disappearance.

“What have you done, Stefan?” Damon seethed as the girl in front of him made to dive forward again. This time she was stopped by an arm wrapping around her waist from behind. She pouted as it stopped her from chasing after her trembling sister.

“I want to feed, Stefan. Her heart is racing…”

“You will, just not from her. You don’t want to upset Klaus, do you?” Stefan pulled her head back by hair to make her look up at him. She gave a grin and a wink in response to his question. “Oh… maybe you do…” The pair laughed, oblivious to the crying doppelganger and increasingly angry vampire in front of them. Elena gasped as Stefan planted a heavy kiss on her sister that was returned with a hungry growl. Their kiss was pure fiery passion, something Elena had never received from her former boyfriend; he’d always been so careful with her, nothing like the animalistic desire he was currently pouring into Delilah. Elena flinched as Delilah hissed into the older vampire’s mouth and nipped at his lips with her fangs.

“How could you do this, Stefan?” Elena breathed out in disbelief. “How could you?!” This time Damon had to grab the human Gilbert as she attempted to race forward with her fists clenched tight. In a blink the baby vampire stood before Stefan, her back arched in preparation to launch herself and arms stretched out wide. Delilah bared her fangs in warning and snarled.

“Don’t tempt me, Elena.” She hissed her threats with more venom than any of the current audience had seen from her before, even Stefan raised his brow at her tone. “Back off.” Ouch he mouthed towards the pair in front of them.

“Delilah, this isn’t you.” Elena pleaded, her throat closing up from the cries she was fighting back. “Please…” Elena reached her arm out to her sister and stretched out her palm. “Take my hand, please. We can fix this.” The female ripper rolled her eyes and sighed with exasperation.

“Honestly, you’d have thought after all this time she’d understand how vampires work.” Delilah muttered under her breath making Stefan chuckle. “There’s nothing to fix. After all these years of having to look after everyone else, it’s so freeing to stand back and do what I want. Resentment is a powerful tool if you wield it correctly… Goodbye, Elena. Make sure you shut the door on your way out.” Completely uninterested in furthering the conversation, and knowing there was no point in trying to drain the Doppelganger dry, she threw herself into one of the large chairs in the living area and gave her sister a sarcastic wave whilst mouthing the word toodles.

“I’ll get you back, Delilah. I’ll help you turn it back on.” Elena promised through her tears before running out of the Boarding House to Damon’s car.

"You'll regret this when I next see you, brother." Damon promised with a snarl. He used his enhanced speed to reach Elena before her legs fell out from under her. She quivered in his arms, tears drenching her face as she sobbed into his chest. Damon swallowed down his own emotion and rested his chin on the crown of her head; his heart broke at the sound of her pained cries. “I don’t think she’s turned it off, Elena. She’s a ripper… and an angry one at that. We just need to starve it out of her so that she can listen to her head again. We’ll get her back, don’t worry.” There was no way Damon was going to lose either of them to their bloodlust. He refused to let that happen. Delilah had let years of being expected to make the right choices and look after everyone else boil over into fury and bitterness; a good detox would sort this, Damon reassured himself, even as Elena shook against him. Stefan would be the primary target; getting him back to himself would mean the beginning of saving Lilah from herself. His brother was in for a sentence of no blood and one hell of an ass kicking.

“Thank God, that’s over!” Delilah exclaimed as she heard the car pull away. She turned just in time to see Stefan bring the two compelled girls into the lounge from the kitchen. “Ah, wonderful.” Delilah slowly slid from the chair and knelt down on the floor, watching hungrily as Stefan brought the humans forward. He threw the redhead down on the floor with a grin.

“Let’s eat.” Neither human made a noise as sharp fangs ripped through their soft flesh. Growls filled the room as both rippers took their fill with no care to be tidy. Blood covered the pair of them; it dripped down their chins and splattered onto the floor in crimson pools. Stefan finished first; quickly pushing the body of the girl to the side, watching curiously as the head remained attached by a few inches of flesh. “Huh, must be losing my touch.” He turned back to his creature as he heard a heavy thud. Delilah looked almost confused as the body of the girl dropped down, the head remaining in her grasp by her grip on the girl’s ponytail. She licked her fangs and careless tossed the head away from her.

“Oops.” Stefan laughed, kicked the body out of the way and knelt down in front of the brunette, his hands almost carefully cradling her face so that he could take in all of her monstrous glory. “You’ve got a bit of something there.” Delilah said softly before licking Stefan’s chin clean from blood. “Yum.”

“Tease.” He muttered before crushing his lips to hers; their mouths met in a fierce, bloody battle; tongues clashing like swords and fangs cutting the soft skin of their lips. Stefan soon won, and with both hands wrapped in her hair, he brought Delilah’s upper half to the ground, crushing her against the shiny wood as he moved between her thighs. One large hand kept her pinned as he leant back onto his heels. Blood was painted across his chin and jaw from the brutal kiss they’d shared. He let out a low chuckle as the young female writhed beneath him; her knees crushing into his hips as she fought against his hold, demanding he kissed her again. He wasted no time in pulling the skirt of her dress up and ripping her panties off with his enhanced speed. He used his forearm to pin her writhing body to the floor and made short work of slipping out of his jeans.

“Hurry u--” Delilah gasped loudly as he quickly thrust into her with a snarl. Animalistic growls and heavy panting filled the room as Stefan made short work of building a hard and fast rhythm. Lilah grabbed at his back; her nails pierced into his shirt and she pressed harder until they sank into his skin. With a hiss she dragged her hands down; a breathless laugh escaped her mouth as the scent of his blood hit her senses. In retaliation Stefan curled his left hand around her neck and wrapped his right arm under her hips to pull her body up. From this angle he reached deeper than before, making them both moan in pleasure. Lilah brought one of her bloody hands to her mouth and licked her fingers clean.

“You’re such a good girl.” Stefan murmured against her mouth softly as he teased her lips with his teeth. Some things don’t change, he smirked to himself, as his praise caused her to body to clench and her back to arch. Delilah always did seem to glow under approval. “That’s it.” He quickly moved his hand from her neck and rubbed her clit until she shuddered and orgasmed around him. Her slick spilt down her thighs as he carried on roughly paying attention to the nub between her legs and thrusting into her so hard that her entire body moved against the wooden floor.

Delilah, not enjoying how smug he looked as her body buzzed with pleasure, used her remaining strength to launch herself upwards and dig her fangs into his neck. She moaned as his blood quickly flowed out of the puncture holes and hit her tongue. It was her turn to laugh as the feeling of her feeding from him made his rhythm stutter as his climax rushed through him. Lilah slumped back onto the floor, her smirk painted red, as she watched his eyes shut and his mouth fall open. Stefan sluggishly pumped his hips a few more times as he filled between her legs with his spend. She snickered to herself as he pulled out of her and dropped beside her panting. Unable to help herself she began to lick the salty sweat from his chest and peppered his skin with open-mouthed, sloppy kisses.

“I’ve got something for you.” Stefan said when he’d caught his breath. Delilah’s head immediately popped up from his chest and she looked at him expectantly. He lazily grabbed his jeans and reached into the pocket. In his hand lay a ring with a blue stone in the centre, lapis lazuli to be exact.

“A daylight ring! When did you get this?” Delilah asked excitedly as she slipped the ring onto her finger.

“Remember when I left you for the evening in that little bookstore?” Delilah nodded with a smile.

“Yes, that snooty librarian was quite fun to chase around the shelves.” She lay back on the cool wood floor and held her hand up above her, admiring the blue stone. Stefan rose up a little and looked down at her. His hand gently traced the side of her face.

“Just think of all the fun we can have now.”

---

‘As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me ‘You're the darkest burning star, you’re my perfect disease’

--- The Bleeding by Five Finger Death Punch---

[ushittyoldman]

nobody’s fault but mine (pt. 2)

Levi wouldn’t really be Levi if he knew how to handle his intense feelings for you.

pairing. levi x fem!reader AND a little bit of jean x fem!reader (b/c once again i am a slut 4 jean too)

warnings. some fluff, language (b prepared for a lot of the f-bomb)

a/n. hi sorry 4 the long wait, life is a little hectic rn (it’s snowing n our power has been going out on n off for the past few days lmfao also school b lowkey kicking my ass) BUT i wanted 2 say thank u so so much 4 all ur feedback to part 1 it was so so so unexpected n sweet n flattering i literally still can’t wrap my head around it. i would rly appreciate some feedback 2 this one too since this is A LOT more levi n i actually adored writing him but i would luv 2 know what u guys think of my characterization of him (im a little nervy) but yes feedback is encouraged! this is kinda long but a lot happens so i rly hope u guys appreciate this n enjoy it bc it took me so long 2 write n rewrite it heheheh (side note 4 the sake of age n everything, all the 104th cadets r actually 18+ including our cute lil reader) also! pls continue 2 request more levi ok that’s it 4 now enjoy!

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

“Jean!”

The hushed voices stirred you out of the pleasant state of unconsciousness you had been in. A sharp pain shot through your head as you slowly opened your eyes, blinking quickly to adjust to the bright light. You flexed your fingers subtly as an attempt to gain awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Once you were comfortable, you slowly turned your head to your right and saw a scene you had grown painfully familiar with– Jean arguing with someone. The victim of the week was Armin, and you almost wanted to laugh at the quick back-and-forth between the two.

“Your bedside manner… sucks,” you managed to mumble. You cringed at the uncharacteristic hoarseness of your voice.

“There she is!” Jean exclaimed, shooting a victorious smirk at Armin, before fondly looking down at you, as he moved closer to your side.

You heard multiple gasps of your name, and you quickly turned your head to your left, before regretting it due to the sharp pang that followed in your head. Nevertheless, you mustered up as bright a smile as you could, looking at your friends who had all taken various positions throughout the room. Eren was the first to your bed, embracing you tightly.

“That was scary,” he softly mumbled your name, before pulling back, “Don’t do that again.”

The concern on his face startled you momentarily, and you couldn’t help but avert your eyes. You blinked quickly before looking up and shyly smiling at Eren.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

You then looked up at your fellow cadets, who stood surrounding your small bed in the infirmary. Your love for these people sat heavily in your chest, and you beamed up at them, before you realized you were in the infirmary.

“What happened?” you genuinely asked, your husky voice taking you by surprise again.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what happened!” Jean scowled, crossing his arms in anger, “That little bastard—”

“Jean, you can’t say that about the Captain!” Sasha chided, looking sideways in fear as if to emphasize her point.

“Captain, my ass!”

You attempted to stifle your giggling, yet your mood significantly dropped upon remembering Levi’s treatment towards you this past month. You tried to conceal your obviously bothered expression, but you felt a hand softly ruffle your hair. You looked up and smiled at Reiner.

“Don’t sweat it, kiddo, I’m sure he’ll tone down the punishments after this,” he reassured, obviously mistaking your dejection over your unreciprocated feelings for Levi for something else.

Appreciating the gesture, you continued to smile up at him while nodding softly. Reiner had a comforting presence, and you felt your mood brighten slightly.

“Fingers crossed,” you deadpanned, earning a soft laugh from Bertholdt, who had taken a seat at the foot of your bed.

Jean’s relentless bashing of the Captain continued, as Sasha, Connie, and Armin attempted to calm him down, warning him about the consequences they’d all have to face if word got back to Levi. Eren gritted his teeth in irritation, as he glared up at Jean, threatening to “knock him out if he didn’t shut up,” while Mikasa had silently moved around the chaos to rest her calloused hand on your own, silently squeezing as a gesture of comfort. You squeezed back.

“Look, all I’m saying is he obviously has it out for her. She’s a better soldier than all of us– even you, titan boy— and it’s still not good enough? I call bullshit!”

“I think he’s just trying to be a good teacher, I’m sure there’s a lot I can still improve on,” you justified, and all eyes turned to you.

“There’s not,” Mikasa bluntly stated, leaving no room for argument.

Your friends all agreed, and you scrunched your nose playfully to conceal the warmth that had spread throughout your body at their praise. You worked hard to get where you were– there was a satisfaction in knowing that all of your effort wasn’t going unacknowledged.

“Jean-boy’s right—”

“Bastard!”

“—Captain Levi has been unnecessarily cruel to her, and we’ve all noticed it!” Eren’s fists clenched in anger as he ignored Jean’s yelling.

“But the Captain isn’t the type to hold grudges or act impulsively, so I think there’s something deeper to it,” Armin reasoned, apologetically glancing at you in case his words offended you.

You nodded softly, not wanting to worsen your headache; however, it didn’t really matter when Jean’s painfully loud voice retaliated almost immediately.

“He overworked her to the point of her passing out from exhaustion and severe dehydration!” His eyebrows furrowed in anger, and his sandy brown hair bounced with his every move.

You winced from the pain in your head, and the movement didn’t go unnoticed by Reiner, who glanced at you from where he stood.

“Jean— inside voice, yeah?” Reiner softly spoke, subtly tilting his head down towards you. Jean’s gaze softened and concern replaced the anger on his contorted features, as he apologized to you.

“Yeah, seriously, what are you getting so worked up for?” Connie innocently asked, before a knowing look crossed his features. He turned to his partner-in-crime, and the two donned shit-eating grins as they turned back to Jean.

“Right, that’s why.”

Bertholdt, whose lanky body had been horizontally lying across the bed comfortably, sat up onto his elbows and cluelessly asked, “What’s why?”

Sasha’s smile widened, and she crossed her arms, mimicking Connie’s knowing smirk. “It’s because Jean-boy, here, is sweet on our dear little—”

“Would you shut up!” Jean yelled louder than before, fists shaking in anger. His face was flushed an impossible shade of red, and you would’ve joined in on the laughter, had your head not exploded from the pain.

You were fully aware of the incessant teasing Jean received regarding his relationship with you, and you would honestly be lying if you said you didn’t get a kick out of it as well. Deciding to spare your friend today, you sent a good-natured smile to him, hoping that would be enough to quell his frustration.

Had you not turned to converse with Eren, you wouldn’t have missed Jean’s dazed smile.

While talking to Eren, your mind briefly drifted to Levi and the situation that was weighing heavily on you. You didn’t want to believe that the Captain hated you– you desperately grasped onto your excuse that he was simply a harsh teacher. And yet, you knew there was something more to it.

In a panic-driven moment, you momentarily wondered if he had somehow found out about your feelings for him. You remembered him telling you about his upbringing— you knew better than most that Levi and confessions of love did not go together... at all. Before you could further dig yourself deeper into the pitiful hole you had been in the past month, a painfully familiar voice broke through your intrusive thoughts.

“You know how loud you are? This isn’t a damn daycare.”

“Sir!”

All conversation in the room came to an abrupt halt. You couldn’t help but grow amused at the sight of Eren and Bertholdt scrambling off your bed to stand and salute their superior. Your small smile was wiped off your face when your eyes met stormy grey ones. You quickly looked down, before inhaling quickly and swiftly pulling your bedsheets back. You attempted to muster as much strength as you could, ignoring the multiple eyes on you. You gracefully stood up from the bed, and turned to Levi, managing the salute as well. You slowly looked up at him.

“Sir,” you shakily mumbled, internally cringing once again at the uncharacteristic rasp to your voice.

You received proud looks of admiration from your friends, though Jean’s remained more concerned than proud. Idiot! he thought to himself. We know you’re strong, now’s not the time to prove it!

Levi, meanwhile, had tried his very best to suppress the guilt that had been eating away at him for the past day; however, it had only worsened when he saw you and heard your weak voice. Upon making eye contact with you, he almost wanted to fall to his knees and apologize profusely for everything he had put you through, audience be damned. 

Levi had spent the better half of the day pacing around your room in the infirmary wing of the Scout Regiment’s base, lost deeply in his thoughts, as his concern for you weighed heavily in his heart. After a few more hours of pacing, he had finally come to the conclusion that he was an idiot (a grade A, unique brand of idiot all in a league of his very own), and that he was in love with you.

Where the first realization annoyed him to high heaven, the second one brought him a sense of peace that was only heightened every time he had looked at your unconscious form.

Levi, uncomfortable with the amount of self-actualizing he had done that day, had left the room after softly caressing your cheek, hoping to convey all of his guilt and apologies and love into the simple gesture. Once he was away from the infirmary wing of the base, he inhaled deeply, itching for the comfort of a cup of warm tea. On his way to the mess hall, he had passed by your friends from the 104th, all undoubtedly on their way to see you. Levi’s eyebrow had slightly risen upon noticing the varying looks of defiance and anger on each of their faces. He had remained unfazed, his half-lidded eyes looking away, as if he hadn’t even seen them at all.

Somehow, it was harder to face them now with you standing amongst them. 

His face retained its usual impassive and bored expression, yet it momentarily faltered when he noticed you slightly stumble from where you were standing next to the hospital bed. Levi’s heartbeat quickened, and he made a subtle move to rush over to you to catch you for the second time that day, but Jean was quicker. The taller man had been keeping a watchful eye on you, and had quickly dropped his salute to stand behind you and steady your slightly uncoordinated form. You comfortably relaxed backwards into his arms as you sent a grateful smile up at him, and he softly smiled back in response, leading you back to the bed.

Levi was both relieved and a little fucking pissed off.

“Visiting hours are over— I need to talk to the brat,” he lazily said, authority ringing loudly and clearly in his command.

For the first time in all his years of captaining the scouts, there was a quick hesitation after his command.

Levi raised an unamused eyebrow at each of the cadets, silently challenging them to disobey him. Despite his threatening aura, he wouldn’t blame any of your friends if they were to defy Levi. The Captain deserved it for his treatment of you— he’d take it like a man.

Your eyes widened in surprise when your friends subtly glanced at you, silently asking if it was okay to leave you alone with him. Upon hearing Levi’s request to talk to you, your heart had begun to uncontrollably race and you swore you could feel it in your throat. You were disappointed in yourself for growing excited at finally being able to talk to him. 

Blinking quickly, your cheeks grew hot under everyone’s gazes, so you reassuringly smiled at your eight friends, and you once again felt the genuine love you had for them erupt within your heart. 

Ever the peacemaker of the group, Armin signaled for the rest to follow him out of the room, and they each uncertainly walked behind him. Mikasa squeezed your hand once more before following closely behind Eren, who sent you an encouraging smile. Bertholdt subtly sent a thumbs up to you, while Reiner winked at you as he looked over his broad shoulder. Your smile widened; however, it faltered when your eyes met Jean’s. His irritated expression worried you, yet before you could respond, he turned away and walked past Levi.

Levi had to give it to Jean— not many people had the balls to openly glare at the Captain.

Once everyone was gone, the tension within the room increased tenfold. You looked at Levi, and you bit your lip in contemplation, anticipating what he would say. Many thoughts rang through your head.

Was it another punishment? Was he going to yell at me? Did he find out about my fee–

“How do you feel?”

You almost had to pinch yourself. After one month of barely any interactions with your friend— if you were still even allowed to call him that— you realized how starved you were for pleasant conversation with Levi.

“I’ve been better,” you breathed out, still cautious. “How… how do you feel?”

Even after such an unpleasant experience, your unwavering kindness shone just as brightly. Levi’s heart ached so sweetly, and he internally groaned upon realizing how fucking whipped he was.

He silently stepped forward, pulling a seat to the side of your bed. Once he was seated, Levi looked into your eyes, and you felt your breath hitch at the intensity of the swirl of emotions dancing within his normally cold eyes. He exhaled softly.

You noticed how tired he looked.

“Just peachy.”

There was a pregnant pause, and you came to realize that there was just too much you wanted to say to him, and you didn’t know where to start. Your soft eyes held his sharp gaze.

“You scared the shit out of me, brat.”

Your heart involuntarily skipped a beat, and your eyes widened in response.

“I did?” you internally slapped yourself at your stupid response.

“Yeah. You did.”

“Sorry, sir,” you softly mumbled.

“Levi… just Levi.”

The Levi in front of you was a completely different man from the one who you’ve had the pleasure of interacting with over the past month. You thought back to your friends and their anger at your mistreatment, and you thought of the many unfair punishments, cold shoulder treatments, and overworking during training (despite you being second only to Humanity’s Strongest, himself). Slowly, your incredulity at being treated like a lapdog began to dim and was replaced by your growing indignation. Though you were no stranger to standing up for yourself, you still felt your anxiety skyrocket as you looked back up at your superior.

“Do you hate me, Captain? Did I… did I do something?”

And there it was.

Levi knew the question would come up at some point, and yet he still felt ill-prepared in his response. He knew this was a big step for you— in the whole year that he’s gotten to know you, he learned how much you hated confrontation. You blatantly ignoring his request and choosing to address him by his title caught his attention, and he frowned. When he looked into your slightly watery eyes, a warmth spread throughout his chest, and he had to clear his throat.

“Don’t say shit like that, you haven’t done anything.”

Levi wanted to punch himself— he was never good with words.

You, however, weren’t fazed by the manner in which he spoke. You had fallen for the man, harsh words and all.

“Then why have you—” you paused as you momentarily lost your voice.

Levi thought it was cute (to be fair, he found everything about you endearing), yet he knew it would be inappropriate to openly admire you when you were so clearly upset with him.

“Sorry,” you grew embarrassed and licked your lips, “It’s just… well, why have you been ignoring me? And— and yelling at me? We stopped drinking tea together, and practicing in the forests. You don’t even acknowledge me when I talk to you! I’m sure you have a really good reason, sir, but I just—”

Levi detested the sick feeling of guilt that churned within his heart. In hindsight, he really should’ve thought it through before he began his little plan of distancing himself from you. How else was he supposed to tell you oh, everyone in the fucking Scout Regiment wants you, and so do I, but I haven’t done anything about it because I’m a pussy, so I just decided to take it out on you and wallow in my own self-pity like the sad little man I am, without sounding like he was deranged.

“—I just miss you.”

Levi’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch, and his breath hitched. This time it was the sincerity in your eyes that made him look away quickly.

“I…”

I’ve missed you too, dammit.

At his lack of a response, your eyebrows furrowed, and your irritation grew. Your small hands balled the soft bedsheet, and you swallowed to soften the burn in your throat before speaking.

“Why did you even come here?” you scoffed indignantly, attempting to mask your hurt, “Was it to just to yell at me some more? Oh, I know! Maybe I need to run through training ten more times again, right?”

The guilt churned even more in his chest, and Levi seriously wanted to punch himself. He willed himself to say something— anything— but he felt speechless in front of you.

“Levi,” you hoarsely spoke with desperation, and he looked into your watery eyes. “Say something, please.”

It was as if you had read his mind, and a slight feeling of reassurance quelled the storm in his heart; you really were the only one for him. As he met your eyes— your beautiful, enchanting eyes— he felt his self-hatred skyrocket at the amount of hurt in them. He had grown used to seeing them filled with humor, kindness, and a soft edge that was rare to find nowadays. Yet seeing them filled with such pain and hurt was unsettling, and Levi went mute for the fifth time that day.

You nodded in understanding when he failed to say anything, and your heart clenched. Jean had been right— you were nothing more than a lovesick puppy. You blinked quickly as a poor attempt to conceal your tears, yet nothing ever escaped the Captain’s attention.

His gaze softened, and Levi found out something else about himself— he really didn’t like seeing you cry.

“Shit, please don’t cry,” he tenderly mumbled, as he leaned closer to you and gently cupped your face to wipe away your tears with the pads of his thumb. 

Your breath hitched and your full lips involuntarily parted. You relished in the warmth of his touch, and you wanted nothing more than to lean into his comforting hand. Your name fell from his lips, and you felt yourself come back to reality. Remembering just how you had gotten into this situation, you decided to stand your ground. Despite everything in your body begging to give in and accept this moment with the Captain, you stood unwavering in your decision.

You gently grabbed his large hand with both your hands, and moved it away from your face and into your lap. You held it there loosely and delicately rubbed your fingers over his hand soothingly before eventually stopping, and looking back up at him.

His usual bored expression was long gone, and in its place was a very tender and vulnerable expression. A storm was brewing in his grey eyes, and you distantly remembered stargazing once with him. You had desperately wished you could read his thoughts— somehow, you had found his daunting eyes more fascinating than the starry sky. You felt an ache in your heart at the intimate memories, and you really really wished Levi loved you the way you love him.

“You know what, Levi? It doesn’t even matter if you hate me, because—” you inhaled sharply. 

This has to be done, you reassured yourself, or else you’d be subjecting yourself to an onslaught of hurt and heartbreak. 

“—Because I hate you.”

Your lip quivered and your broken voice faltered. And of course, Levi noticed.

His eyes darted down to your lips at the slight movement. His hands had stilled, and he decided that getting eaten by a damn titan would be much less painful than this.

And then he’s looking at you. You looked back at him, yet he’s looking at you— through you— in that way that makes you want to hide and hold your ground at the same time.

“Right,” Levi drawled, and you knew he didn’t believe you (hell, you were unconvinced yourself). His eyes reverted back to their cold nature, and he ran a hand through his hair, allowing the silky strands to softly land against his forehead.

He stood up, and wordlessly gave you a onceover. Under his scrutiny, you felt yourself grow insecure, but deep down you desperately hoped he’d stay. You bit your bottom lip in apprehension, and Levi’s eyes softened at the sight of your nervous habit.

How is it that he could kill titans all the livelong day yet when it came to this sweet girl, so small and disarming, he couldn’t even utter a single word?

Levi had never felt more pathetic. He peered down at you, momentarily debating whether it would be right for him to attempt one last thing before finally deciding fuck it, and gently cupping your cheek for the third time that day, bending down, and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. He gingerly inhaled your enticing scent, appreciating how even after the hell he had put you through, you still smelled so alluring.

You were positive that Levi could hear your heartbeat. You blinked many times in disbelief, as he pulled away and sent one last lingering gaze down at you. 

Levi slightly smirked at the pretty blush that had colored your cheeks, his half-lidded eyes drinking in the mesmerizing sight of you sitting up in your bed and gaping up at him, your cheeks flushed and wet with the remnants of your tears. He turned around and silently left the room. 

He had ignored every part of his body that begged him to stay.

▲▼▲

“Shut up, I can barely hear them!”

“Ow— Bertholdt, you’re stepping on my foot!”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Watch it, horse face!”

“Eren.”

“You piece of shit, I’m—”

The piece of bread that had been tightly held in Sasha’s grip suddenly fell to the floor. Everyone went silent.

“Holy shit, I think… I think he just kissed her.”

Jean really hoped Sasha was wrong. 

He decided to ignore the fact that her freakishly good hearing bordered on supernatural, so there was really no way she could’ve been wrong with a mere wooden door standing between her and the conversation.

“I knew there was something going on between them! Reiner— pay up.”

Reiner muttered several curses under his breath as he pulled out a hefty stack of cash from his pocket. Connie’s grin widened.

Armin had glanced up at Jean, slightly alarmed at the dark expression on his face. Before he could comfort his friend, the door suddenly opened. Everyone scrambled to straighten themselves up, attempting to act like they hadn’t been just eavesdropping on the entire conversation between you and the Captain.

A chorus of sir’s rang throughout the large hallway, and Levi grew amused at the sight before him. His lips twitched upwards, and the cadets had to almost physically stop their mouths from dropping open at the sight. Levi’s ghost of a smile disappeared when his eyes met Jean’s seething ones.

The two held each other’s gazes, Levi’s expression being cool, while Jean’s had been irritated. Levi was not a fucking idiot; he knew the kid was in love with you.

Join the fucking club.

Levi, realizing that this was the exact reason he had gotten himself into that mess with you and not really wanting to sour his somewhat good mood, looked away from Jean to nod at the group of your friends.

“As you were.”

He brushed past Jean, his gaze as intimidating as ever, as he silently walked down the hallway. Jean’s fists clenched tightly. Once Levi had turned the corner, the group exploded into chatter, their reactions varying from stunned to adoring.

Jean really really fucking hoped Sasha was wrong.

▲▼▲

Your horse trotted proudly through the vast landscape, the wind blew through your open hair, your friends teased each other amicably, and your excitement grew at finally being cleared to join the scouts on their next expedition. Though you hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, and you’ve been a little too preoccupied to eat much, nothing could bring your mood down at this moment.

You were alongside your friends as you all followed the section commanders as their horses galloped into the edge of the forest. The mission for today was to exterminate any titans who had wandered too close to the walls. A simple mission, and you were more than capable.

You had been in a great mood.

Until your eyes landed on Levi.

He had been further up, leading his own squad. He had turned around to respond to Gunther, and that’s when his eyes had met yours. Your internal conflict grew, and you ultimately ended up averting your eyes and ignoring him, deciding to maintain your cold treatment towards him. 

Him kissing your head had only further confused you, despite the sweet butterflies you felt every time you thought back to it. Levi’s treatment towards you had unexpectedly changed since that day in the infirmary, and it had reverted to the way it was before his sudden aversion to you, though there was something much sweeter in his actions. You swore you were getting whiplash.

Though he had been significantly kinder to you, you had held your ground, unrelenting in your declaration. Part of you was terrified that if you gave in and became comfortable, he’d suddenly return back to the yelling, the punishments, and the overworking. Part of you also didn’t want to face reality— your feelings were unreciprocated, and they would only serve to bring you a world of heartache and sadness.

Your cold shoulder towards him was nothing compared to the way he had treated you. Yours mainly consisted of avoiding him, and when that wasn’t an option and you had to interact with him, you kept it civil and short. Your heart would ache, but you knew it was for the best. It helped that Jean would offer approving smiles and words of encouragement, even going as far as to smirk when you had ignored the Captain.

Levi, meanwhile, had frowned when he noticed that you ignored him. Again.

In all honesty, he did deserve it, but that didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt like a bitch. He grew irked at your display. Levi hoped you would understand that him kissing your head and showing affection towards you was his grand confession of love. You knew he was shit with words, and he hoped that that would be enough.

He was sadly fucking mistaken.

His attention had been on you the whole mission. Even when the scouts had to dismount from the horses to use the ODM gear through the trees, he had somehow managed to keep a watchful eye on you. You were graceful as ever as you flew through the trees, though his observing gaze noticed that your reaction time was noticeably slower than normal. He had also noticed the dark circles under your usually bright eyes, and he grew worried upon noticing your overall state.

Levi, himself, wasn’t faring much better. He was getting virtually no sleep, running completely on caffeine, adrenaline, and pure will, yet he still made sure he was in excellent shape when it came to these missions— humanity was resting on his shoulders, after all.

The firing of a flare gun in the distance indicated that the group would be encountering titans— a lot of titans— from the left. The soldiers prepared, all eyes focused on the left. You had conveniently taken up the right-most end of the formation, and your attention had also been on the left, your blades held tightly in your hands.

It was only by chance that Levi decided to glance down at you as he soared above you in the middle of the formation. Your eyes met once again, and Levi’s heart lurched at the beautiful sight, when movement behind you immediately caught his attention. A large abnormal with the ability to jump from tree to tree had suddenly appeared and made an attempt to grab you. Your attention had been solely on Levi, so you hadn’t noticed, especially over the roar of the wind in your ears.

Levi’s eyes widened, and he yelled out your name. The rich baritone of his deep voice reached your ears, and you turned slightly behind you, yet you reacted too slowly. Your body jerked backwards, flying so far from the group. You flew through the air at such a great speed that it took you by surprise when you slammed against a tree as the wires of your ODM gear grew tangled. The abnormal had missed you— barely. Your head slammed against the tree and you felt the wind knocked out of your body at the impact.

You whimpered at the hell of a hospital stay you’d have to face after this.

The abnormal almost seemed to be grinning wider upon realizing that it had successfully subdued you. You attempted to quickly stand up, though your body yelled in agony at the movement. Willing yourself to fight back, you shakily stood up, tightly gripping your blades that had miraculously not fallen to the ground throughout the struggle. You winced at the searing pain that shot through your head, yet you clenched your teeth in determination. Realizing that your gear was broken and therefore useless, you quickly discarded yourself of it, and felt some of the tension in your body alleviate now that you were significantly lighter.

“The hell is she doing?” Jean yelled incredulously from his spot next to Levi, and the other members of the group looked on in shock as they all attempted to make it to you in time.

“She’s fighting back,” Levi spoke through gritted teeth, his worry for you eating him alive. His eyebrows were furrowed in stress and anxiety, and he was now soaring impossibly fast through the trees in order to reach you.

Stupid brat. Stupid, resilient, little brat.

“Attagirl!” Oluo and Eld cheered, and Petra shoved them, warning them to stop their blatant ogling in the middle of a dangerous mission. They skillfully dodged her attack, grinning at their adept use of the ODM gear.

A noise towards the side caught their attention, and the group realized the titans they had been anticipating were now in sight. Levi coolly assessed the shitty situation, before commanding that most of the soldiers take care of the titans, while Levi, his squad, and some of the 104th’s cadets would assist you. The group split up, and Levi turned his attention back to you, his heart thumping against his chest.

As the titan made a move to grab you, you exhaled quickly to focus before skillfully jumping onto its elongated arm and running quickly towards its nape. You were defying gravity as you gained speed the higher you went. The titan wasn’t stupid, and it began to grab you with its other arm, yet you anticipated its move. You lithely dodged it, executing a quick front flip as you narrowly escaped its grasp once again.

This was it!

You saw your opening. You leaped forward and pushed your feet against its shoulder as hard as you could, soaring high up in the air above the titan. Muscle memory served you well, and you thought back to the training circuit that had mimicked a situation almost exactly like this one. You gracefully began to spin yourself faster and faster, your cape billowing behind you as you finally readied your blades for the final blow. You yelled out, as your head pain worsened. As a result, your maneuver faltered slightly, almost imperceptible to the human eye. The titan noticed.

It lashed a large hand out again, attempting to grab you, but it accidentally slapped your body away. You cried out in pain, and you flew in the direction of your friends, hurtling towards the ground. You were falling so fast, and you felt yourself grow dizzy from being chucked around so much in the last five minutes.

Eren yelled out your name, a whimper stuck in his throat at the sight of your almost lifeless body spiraling downwards. Jean’s eyes widened, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it in time.

Levi’s heart stopped upon witnessing the titan slap your body with so much force. You were plummeting towards the ground at an impossible speed, and he didn’t even think twice before withdrawing his ODM gear’s hooks and diving towards you within the blink of an eye. His cape flew behind him, and a determined glint had overtaken his angry features. 

You had been bordering between consciousness and unconsciousness, yet the sight above you had been so clear that it almost felt as if everything was moving in slow motion. Your long hair flew around you, creating a curtain around your face, as you looked up at Levi. He had dived towards you, his jaw so tightly clenched. His muscular long arm began reaching out to you. The ground was quickly approaching, and you felt a sense of serenity at the sight of your Captain, despite your confusion and the severity of this situation.

“Levi,” you mumbled, smiling softly.

His face dropped upon seeing the calm expression on your face, and he willed himself to go faster, a number of expletive curses ringing through his head. 

That damn titan. Did it know how small you were? How precious you were?

He spun himself slightly to gain momentum, and he saw you were just within reach. Levi confidently stretched his strong arm out even more, managing to wrap his hand around your arm. He swiftly pulled you into his chest, one arm wrapping around your waist, while the other hand cradled your head protectively against his broad chest. He swiftly flipped himself around to face his body upwards, further ensuring he’d take the majority of the blow in case you two ended up hitting the ground, and shot both of his ODM gear’s hooks into a nearby tree, propelling both of you away from the ground and towards the high branch. You fleetingly realized how familiar this position felt.

Once Levi safely landed, he kneeled, and supported your body against his thigh as he continued to hold you in his arms. He quickly looked over his shoulder, and could make out the sight of the titan falling to the ground. All the members of his squad seemed alive and well, so he turned his attention back to you. His eyes quickly darted over your face, desperately searching for any obvious injuries.

Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of Levi running his hands through your hair and over your cheeks. The Levi in front of you was leagues different from the cool and composed one you had come to know. He had a frantic look in his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly, as he desperately peered down at you. 

“Le… Levi?” You mumbled, your voice still a little hoarse from your recent infirmary stay.

“You are so precious to me, you hear me?” He lowly spoke, panic and anger and a whole plethora of emotions coloring his normally deadpan voice.  

Your jaw fell open and you were almost positive you were suffering from a mean concussion, and this was a hallucination. “Wha—”

“You’re a fucking brat— an incredibly frustrating, resilient little brat— but you’re mine.”

You dazedly looked up at him, and you realized how close his face was to yours. His muscular chest was heaving up and down, and a small droplet of sweat dripped down from his hairline. Levi’s handsome features held nothing but adoration for you, and in that moment nothing could bring you down from the high you were experiencing. You felt his warm hands cup your cheek once more, a habit he seemed to be fond of.

“You want a fucking declaration of love? Here it is— if anything happens to you, I swear I’ll kill every titan on this piece of shit planet,” he spoke, surprisingly unbothered with how vulnerable he was being with you. He moved closer to you, his forehead nearly resting on your own. “I don’t give a fuck if you hate me or not. You’re mine, and I’m yours. And that’s all there is to it.”

Your hand creeped up to grasp the wrist of the hand that had been caressing your face, and you tightened your fingers around it. He froze, momentarily wondering if you were rejecting his confession, and he internally groaned at the thought. 

There’d be no coming back from this one.

“You’re mine?” You shakily asked, a gloriously beautiful smile slowly gracing your features.

“That’s what I said,” he mumbled, attempting to conceal how lovestruck he felt at your smile.

“After… after we get home and I get some medical attention, you’re going to have to kiss me, alright? I’m—”

You were cut off by his lips pressing against your own. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you relished in the soft feeling of his lips molding against yours. You felt an indescribable warmth erupt in your chest, and you whimpered against Levi’s lips. His kiss was soft and warm, a huge contrast to the Levi from this past month. He pulled away just as quickly as he had bent down.

“One for the road,” he simply explained, glancing down at you. He internally smirked at the pretty blush coloring your cheeks— he was always fond of the sight.

▲▼▲

“You’re not serious.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

You stifled your giggles at Levi’s straight face. Your expression still showed your disbelief at what he had just told you.

“I’m not an idiot, Levi, I know how some people look at me,” you laughed, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Even the Commander?”

“Oh, I’m working my way up through the ranks right now, can’t you tell?” You teased, gesturing down to your intertwined bodies, as you both faced each other in his warm bed.

“You’re funny, brat,” he deadpanned, no heat and all fondness as he affectionately pinched your cheeks.

You snuggled deeper into his chest, savoring the warmth that you were enveloped in. You were wearing his shirt— still warm and smelling strongly of him— and you inhaled softly as your face pressed deeper into his chest. Somehow, the slight aftermath of your headache from the recent expedition began to dull slightly.

“I’m sorry again,” Levi murmured, softly cradling your head against his chest.

“Really? I couldn’t tell the first five hundred times you said so,” you teased, looking up at him. Your breath hitched at the sight of his face angled down towards you, dark wisps of hair falling over his eyes and structured face. Levi was so painfully handsome, you could feel your heart flutter.

His eyes were intense, and his guilt continued to stir within his stomach. Seemingly able to read his mind, you pressed a chaste kiss to his warm chest.

“Idiot,” you mumbled, “I really wouldn’t care if the King himself came up to me and proposed, and you know exactly why.” 

“Humor me.”

“Terrifying guy, goes by the name of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier?”

He chuckled lowly, the deepness of his voice vibrating through his chest, and your insides turned to mush. Feeling relieved at successfully pulling Levi out of his little hole of guilt, you yawned softly. Your bruised ribs still ached at times, yet you ignored it this time to cuddle deeper into Levi, who was also on the verge of sleep.

He was sleepily looking down at you, observing your attempts to get comfortable in his embrace, and he softly smiled to himself. His muscular arms tightened around you, one of his hands coming to rest on the soft curve of your hip. He relished in the fact that sleep would be coming easily to him with you here. Levi had surprised himself with how easily he was able to show his affections toward you, and he chalked it up to that being further proof that you really were the only one for him.

He felt a warmth come from the sweet pang in his chest, and it spread throughout his entire body. Levi had learned to associate that feeling with you.

His eyes closed silently, and you pressed one last kiss to his chest.

“Precious,” he mumbled, “Precious little brat.”

▲▼▲

[jaskiersvalley]

Your safari au. Please. I need it. Water my crops with tigers and hyenas and witchers. Grabby hands and pleading faces in abundance here.

You are after my heart, Nonnie. And considering I've only talked about the Safari AU on Novigrad, I will happily assume you're lurking on there and I love you for it. Tweaked a little to add in a hyena just for you.

Lions and Tigers and Bears

Taking over a park was no easy feat, especially not when it came with a reputation like Nilfgaard had. Eskel scratched his head as he poured over the various financial reports, wondering just how much of it could be trusted. The problem was Nilfgaard had been a shining beacon in the animal conservation world, exceptional facilities, high enrichment for the animals and a successful rehabilitation rate. If there was ever an animal in need of a place, Nilfgaard had been first choice for years. All that came tumbling down in light of the revelation that Nilfgaard had been trading illegally, their animals sold to private owners as exotic pets or, even worse, hunters who wanted a guaranteed, easy kill. The place had been shut down immediately, a skeleton crew kept on to tend to the animals but nothing more. Management was on trial and Kaer Morhen had won the bid to take over. Though small and mostly unknown, nobody else had wanted to touch the remnants of Nilfgaard so they were quite uncontested in their bid. What had seemed like a good idea at the time, an noble because it was in the interest of the animals, now was an absolute headache.

Between the three of them, Geralt, Eskel and Lambert could split most of the urgent work. They had Jaskier working on rebranding, Yennefer managing the board and Vesemir as the head. It left them free to run the day to day of the park, learning the animals as well as the people who they had kept on. But they were going to need more people to actually help the place flourish and regain its standing in the community. Which meant asking the heads of departments for who should be kept on and what roles to recruit for from scratch. The easy ones were things like hospitality, Zoltan had a firm grip on the needs of the park and its visitors, knew all the catering firms and how to run a tight ship. So it was one less headache for them. Eredin had stepped up as Head of Security readily once it was proven he had no knowledge of the animal smuggling. Again, his familiarity with the park was a boon, as were his connections, putting together a security team that could be trusted. Much more messy was the animal welfare section. Fringilla, much like Eredin, had stepped up to become interim Head Zookeeper and was doing her best. While they were understaffed, Geralt, Eskel and Lambert helped out where they could but much of their time was spent getting to know the routine of the park and its many animals.

"We need to know who we can trust," Lambert grumbled, leaning over the table where they had personnel files open. "It's impossible to know who was in on things and who wasn't."

Though, in all likelihood, none of the lower level workers knew that when they helped usher one of their beloved animals into a crate, they weren't sending them off to another facility or a happily ever after. But it was something they just couldn't risk.

"May I?" Fringilla asked, eyes roving over all the files. At Geralt's gesture, she began pulling some of them out. "You'll want Triss, she was a vet here, promote her to senior or chief or whatever you call it. She's solid. And Sabrina, she's great, works well with Triss. Retain Istredd, Mousesack, Calanthe and Eist too. oh, and Letho for the reptile house." As she spoke, she kept looking with a small frown.

"Missing someone?" Eskel asked. Nodding, Fringilla frowned. Without much care for manners, she walked to the cupboards and began pulling out files until she hit the folder of resignations and terminations. From there, she pulled out one last file.

"You'll want him."

The folder was taken from her and the three peered at it with varying levels of frowns.

"You want us to hire someone who was terminated for gross misconduct? Whose notes suggest he abused animals and has blacklisted from working with animals?"

"No. I want you to meet the whistle-blower. Cahir's the one who found out about the trafficking and reported it. Nilfgaard didn't take kindly to it and retaliated."

Not sold on the idea, Lambert crossed his arms over his chest. "His file doesn't look exceptional. Personally, if he applied for a job, I'm not sure he shines enough to even be called in for an interview."

It was a sentiment echoed by the other two and Fringilla had to fight to hold back a sneer. "Invite him in and judge for yourselves. Just because his record doesn't have a quantifiable or gradable measure of commitment doesn't mean he won't be fantastic. If we ever have a new animal in that doesn't need to stay hospitalised, I wouldn't want anyone but Cahir to help settle it in. Especially the younger ones and babies."

Against their better judgement, the three decided to follow Fringilla's advice and e-mailed Cahir an interview offer. The reply was terse but assured them that he would be there at the agreed time.

First impressions were, to put gently, not great. Cahir looked rumpled, bags under his eyes and his attitude was rather sullen. It didn't bode well as they sat in the office, Cahir an odd mix of defiant and subservient. At least Fringilla had the grace to push the interview forward as much as she could until even she sighed and leaned back.

"Why don't we walk through some of the enclosures? Make sure you still remember what's where."

As they walked, Eskel ended up next to Cahir, who seemed content to not talk. That didn't stop Eskel from trying to initiate conversation.

"So, what have you been doing in the three months since you left here?"

"Tried to survive."

The blunt answer had Eskel blinking, there were many things he expected but not that. "Oh?"

For the first time Cahir actually looked at him, sadness bleeding through his half glare. "I used to live on site, worked for Nilfgaard from the age of 15, took a full time post at 18 and moved into the small cottage in the southern corner of the land. They fired me, I lost everything."

An uncomfortable silence settled between them as Eskel tried to figure out just how much of Cahir's so story was an exaggeration. "Have you been living with friends then?"

"For a few weeks, yeah." Cahir actually scoffed. "I've been trying to get a job and living in a hostel off savings. Turns out, only having in-house qualifications does not bode well for prospects in the world at large."

Fringilla led them into an enclosure where the grass was high. From the looks and smells, Eskel would have guessed it was a tiger's habitat but he wasn't familiar enough with the park yet to know. He would have hesitated going in, especially in a group like they were but Eskel had to trust Fringilla as she came to a stop and they stood in a loose circle.

The house Cahir had mentioned was one Eskel was familiar with. They had often wondered why it was empty yet well kept. It had felt like a life interrupted when they had a look round, nothing personal there yet it didn't have the empty, unlived-in feel of a show home. In a way, Eskel was regretting just how poorly Cahir's interview was going because he could easily see them offering his house back as part of a contract.

"So why are we here?" Lambert's words broke Eskel's reverie. "I thought we wanted to go on a walk."

It was by pure chance that Eskel caught Fringilla's smirk at Cahir and the slightest softening of that stern expression in return. Clicking his tongue, Cahir shot Lambert a look. "Tell me, have you ever been stalked by a tiger before?"

"No."

"You sure about that?" Cahir clicked his tongue twice and the world burst into motion. From the long grass a tiger pounced and Eskel was not ashamed to admit he let out a surprised yell. He wasn't the only one though, Lambert gasping, hand at his mouth and shoulders up as the tiger took Cahir out. They went tumbling and only Geralt looked like he might lurch into action, taking half a step towards the animal and Cahir. It would have been hopeless though, the two were wrestling on the ground until Cahir was on his back, tiger hunched above him.

The first thing Eskel noticed was how Cahir's face was creased into a happy grin. He looked younger, relaxed and happy ever as the tiger licked a large stripe from jaw, up his chin to his hairline. All Cahir did was laugh.

"Yes, yes, I missed you too, Princess," he said. fingers loosened from the fur in the tiger's neck and petted along her nose with the ease of familiarity.

"What the actual fuck?!" Lambert all but screeched. "What the fuckity fucking fuck?"

Eskel had the sense to look to Fringilla for answers, even if he wanted to watch Cahir with the tiger. The change in the man wasn't something he could have predicted. Gone was the sullen, defensive and standoffish air, replaced by an easy smile and a look of serene happiness as Cahir looked at the tiger, checking her over out of habit, muttering about dirty ears and mucky paws as he went.

"That is what you won't ever learn from a CV and qualifications," Fringilla said. She was absolutely looking smug. "Princess came to us at 9 months old, from a circus. Had terrible separation anxiety and a host of other issues too. She wasn't doing well despite our best efforts. At least, not until Cahir took her home and cared for her during the nights rather than leave her in a hospital cage. He introduced her to independence, slept out in the open with her for a few weeks when she was ready to transition to outdoors." Much more quietly, she added, "She's not the only animal he'd done that for. To find out some of his beloved children have been sold hit him hard. I don't think I'd ever seen him cry before then."

Turning back, Eskel watched as Cahir was sat on the ground, tiger with her back to him. The slightly strained "oh no you don't" from Cahir was lost as the tiger pushed up onto her hind legs and flopped backwards. Had she been smaller, Cahir would have probably caught her like a baby. As it was, he grunted as the weight crashed across his legs and he had a happily chuffing tiger's belly to tickle.

"I assume you'd vouch for him?" Geralt asked.

"In a heartbeat." Fringilla grinned at Cahir but it was lost on him, so focused on Princess as he was. The others might as well have stopped existing. That was the moment Eskel knew his heart was in danger. It didn't get easier as time went on. Hiring Cahir was proving to be a good decision. He just got on with the work, never finding anything distasteful or below him to do. If it needed doing, he got it done.

Over time he opened up too, Eskel found himself wandering down to the southern corner of the park to the little house that was now full of life. He got used to Cahir usually having a baby or two in his care. Sometimes he babysat for Letho's hatchlings, content to have baby snakes trying to look around his arms as they learned how to cope with being handled. The friendship between the two was one Eskel couldn't claim to understand but they seemed to make it work.

"Knock knock," he announced himself by the open back door.

"Come on in," Cahir called as he wandered out of the kitchen. "I'm just finishing making dinner, care to join me?"

That was new too, Cahir was inviting Eskel into his life more and more. It made Eskel feel even better about what he was planning to ask at Fringilla's instructions.

"I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow. There's a new arrival that we think will need your assistance."

Cahir cocked an eyebrow and held up an empty plate in question again. At Eskel's nod he began loading. "Anything you can tell me about it?"

"Not much. Private collector got raided, had a few animals in his less than tender care."

"So they'll be part socialised, part traumatised. I can work with that."

Somehow, Eskel had no doubts about that. But he was holding back some information because Fringilla had told him to keep it a surprise. The next morning the transport van rolled in, a small group of them ready to handle the newest arrivals. There were a couple of pythons for Letho to bring into his fold, a parrot for Guxart to train into swearing. Last was a large crate. As interesting as it was, Eskel's eyes were on Cahir, the way his nostrils flared as he caught scent of the hyena. The box opened and the animal cautiously peered out.

"Dave!" Cahir exclaimed, all semblance of quiet professionalism gone as he hopped off the top of the crate he'd helped open.

If his reaction had been exuberant, it was nothing compared to the hyena's. They collided next to the box, all over each other.

"I missed you buddy." There were tears running down Cahir's cheeks as Dave alternated between butting into him and running tight, excited circles around him before settling down and trying to bodily press into him. Glancing up, Cahir gave Fringilla a wobbly smile. "How did you find her?"

Her? Last Eskel checked, Dave was a male name. Still, he wasn't going to interrupt the tender reunion with such a dumb question.

"She was part of a collector's hoard. Didn't have the right permits so he was made to give her up to those who could offer her proper care."

A broken "thank you" was whispered in her direction before Cahir buried his face in the hyena's neck. Eskel watched with so many questions. Thankfully Fringilla didn't miss that fact.

"She was born in captivity, originally assumed to be a boy, needed to be hand reared after mum rejected her. She never understood that she wasn't human and as a result has spent most of her life living with Cahir. We've tried so often to introduce her to a pack but she never took to them, content to stay with them for a day, two at a push before she starts pining. When Nilfgaard sold her, that's when Cahir got suspicious, did some digging and realised she hadn't gone to another park. So Dave is a catalyst for this whole fiasco if you will."

Watching them, Eskel nodded. He had a hyena to befriend if he wanted to keep Cahir in his life it would seem.

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Hey, Little Songbird

Chapter 16 - Ao3

Felix could only hope his mother would pardon him for thinking such harsh words, but he felt as though the situation merited it. Because this? Was bullshit.

He could understand, to a degree, where Marinette was coming from. Felix wasn’t a good person; ergo, put Felix in situations where he would be forced to do good to make him confront the benefits of kindness and charity and hugging snot-nosed orphans or whatnot. He could understand becoming a force for good; his family had the money and the influence to improve the live of the less fortunate, and he’d understood that ever since his mother enlisted his help with choosing Graham Films annual donations. He could stand losing some of his own money just to hear Marinette gush about the charity he chose, and how that money would be used (all information he knew, of course; you don’t donate without knowing exactly where your money is going).

What he could not stand is having all his time with Marinette interrupted by Cesaire.

Marinette’s reasoning was that she wanted her two friends to get along, but Felix suspected she just liked to see him suffer. Sure, he did Cesaire a favor once, that doesn’t mean they like each other! In fact, he would go out on a limb and say that Cesaire definitely hated him. Why? …He wasn’t sure. If it had been a few weeks ago, he would have said she was jealous he had been Marinette’s friend while she had been led astray, but now that he’d gotten to—bleck—know Cesaire, he was certain it wasn’t in the girl’s character.

He took the opportunity to ask Cesaire the next time Marinette forced them to work together on a project—this time, cleaning up the content of the Ladyblog. Apparently Felix’s demeanor would help push the blog in a more professional direction.

Cesaire’s fingers paused on the keyboard at his question. Even Marinette, who had been working on a separate project, stopped to listen in. “I don’t hate you,” she lied.

“Yes, you do,” Felix corrected. “I’ve seen the way you look at me, before your near suspension and after. You hate me, and I’d like to know why.”

“Felix, she doesn’t hate you—” Marinette tried, but Cesaire stopped her.

“Marinette, I appreciate you trying to mediate, but you don’t have to right now”—She flashed a smile at Marinette—“Felix, I don’t hate you. I just don’t like you.”

“Okay. Why?”

She drew back, shock crossing her face before she shut the emotion down. “Felix, the first time we met, I was an akuma. An akuma you caused. I still don’t know why you impersonated Adrien, but since you supported Marinette when I didn’t, I’m willing to tolerate you despite that.”

Oh. “I had forgotten that,” he admitted, looking away.

“You… forgot?” She didn’t believe him, it was clear in her voice.

“Yes. I was having quite the bad day myself.”

Cesaire looked ready to say something, but Marinette placed a hand on her shoulder. “Felix, I’ve been meaning to ask you… Why did you impersonate Adrien that day? Knowing you now… it doesn’t seem like something you would do without a reason.”

Felix pursed his lips. True, what he did that day had been… poorly thought out. He would even say that he’d acted rashly, but to be honest, he had planned it from the beginning. The entire time his father was on his death bed, the entire time Felix watched him die, Adrien was calling and emailing him, talking about his friends and modeling and school like Felix hadn’t begged him and Uncle Gabriel to come over and visit, to support them in their time of need like his family had done when Aunt Emilie went missing. Perhaps it was cruel that he and Mother tried to take back their family rings on the anniversary of Aunt Emilie’s disappearance, but it was cruel that they didn’t come to his father’s funeral because… because of a fashion show!

So Felix told them. Despite himself, he told the girls about his father and how much he loved him, and how it broke his heart to see the strongest man he’d ever met waste away in front of his eyes. How his mother cried for months as she sat at his bedside. How their company suffered with the CEO dying and his mother beside herself with grief, how Felix was forced to delegate power to those loyal to his father and their family, trying to keep their business afloat and still in their name.

“Adrien… is very cruel in his ignorance,” Felix said. “He’s more than happy to ignore other people’s problems until they affect him, then he’ll do whatever he can to solve the problem. And I… wanted him to be affected.” He shook his head, picking at Marinette’s bedspread. “I thought that if I caused him to lose all his friends… Well, that plan backfired, so there’s no need to go into detail. I should feel lucky that I got at least one of the rings back.”

“Rings?”

Felix showed off the one he’d stolen from Gabriel, the silver band glinting in the sunlight. The metal seemed to hum against the warmth of his fingers. “The wedding bands of Gabriel and Emilie Agreste were originally family heirlooms of the Graham de Vanily estate. Originally, they were supposed to be used when the eldest child, my mother, got married. Unfortunately, that was impossible.”

“Wait, your mom is a Graham de Vanily?” Cesaire asked. “So, your dad married into the family?”

“That’s correct; Grandfather arranged it back when Father was a mere director in our company.” Felix shook his head. “Mother and Father were supposed to wear these on their wedding day. But Aunt Emilie stole them for her own marriage.”

Marinette gasped. “No! Why would she do that!?”

“I have no idea; if Aunt Emilie ever said why, Mother certainly has never mentioned it. My grandparents disowned her for the theft—though, to be honest, they were already on the edge because Aunt Emilie was marrying someone they didn’t approve of—and it was only Mother’s intervention that kept them from reporting her to the police.” He twisted the ring around his finger. “These rings mean a lot to my family, to my mother… I know it hurt her that she and Father never wore them, even if Father created near replicas for their 3rd anniversary. She never wore hers though… I think she thought that if she did, it would be acknowledging that the rings would never come home.”

“What’s so special about these rings, anyway?” Cesaire asked, moving closer to look at, but thankfully not touch, his ring. “It’s plain silver.”

“Honestly, I have no idea. They’ve been in the family for centuries, and Mother said that you could only understand how precious they are until you and your love both wear them, but…”

“It’s not the value of the rings,” Marinette finished. “It’s what they represent.”

“Precisely. Aunt Emilie stole them to begin with. Now that she’s gone—and honestly, I’m not entirely convinced she didn’t just leave Uncle Gabriel—the rings should come home, no matter how sentimental Uncle is about them. He has made it very clear that he doesn’t consider us family, so there’s no need to keep family heirlooms.” Felix clenched his fist. “I already stole one of the rings; I can steal the other one too.”

Marinette was shaken, but Cesaire immediately nodded her head in agreement. “Go for it.”

“Alya!”

“What? If they were stolen to begin with, then there’s no problem with him stealing them back. Besides, it’s not like Gabriel can report him to the police. There is evidence that the rings were originally your family’s, right? Like, pictures of your grandparents wearing them, or even official documentation?”

Huh. It seems Cesaire is more than she first appeared. “That’s correct, we have both.”

“Then he can’t do much. At worst, he can try to pass them off as a different set of jewelry since the ring is so generic, but that would just draw out the investigation and bring more evidence against him to light. Even claiming that you were the one to steal the ring could be difficult to prove unless he got it on camera.” She frowned. “Getting to the other ring will be difficult though, since Gabriel will likely protect it.”

“Plus, if he knows you stole it, he’s not going to let you into the house,” agreed Marinette. Both he and Cesaire exchanged at look at her abetting. “What? You act like I’ve never stolen anything before!”

“But you… haven’t?”

A cat-like grin stretched across Cesaire’s face. “Oh? She hasn’t told you that story yet?”

A groan. “Alya, no!”

A smirk twitched across his lips despite himself. Perhaps working with Cesaire wouldn’t be so bad after all…

Taglist: @graduatedmelon @novicevoice @dur55 @kris-pines04 @18-fandoms-unite-08 @moonlightstar64 @bee-a-garbage-shipper @sol-o-shade @kittyotakunoir666 @tinyterror333 @allieoftheenemy @marichat00 @xgxmxtx @two-faced-biatch @feliciakainzofspades @evil-cricket @emilytopaz @spicybelladonna @chocolateherringtacofan @user00000003 @wannajointhecrabcult @happymonster-pants @duquesapincarrasca @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen  @sxltinette @kittydemon9000 @thetrashypanda423

[forsakenoathkeeper]

I Am Alive (chapter 1/?)

Chapter 1: A Nurse for Androids

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Synopsis: You were a biomechanical engineer, a fancy way of saying that you repaired androids. After the revolution, you decided to move back to Detroit to offer aid as, essentially, a nurse. After stopping by to visit an old friend, you began to grow attached to his android partner.

Chapters • 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16 • 17 • 18 • 19 • 20 • 21 • 22 • 23 • 24 • 25 • 26 • 27 • 28 • more coming soon

You can also read on AO3 & thank you for supporting me ♥

"Lieutenant, this place is-"

Connor stopped himself when he caught the look Hank was giving him. It was something akin to a scowl, though his lip was a bit more crooked and his eyes were more annoyed than angry.

"Hank," Connor corrected himself. "This place is-"

"Can it," the detective groaned, knowing full well he was about to get criticized for living in a dump.

Connor caught himself smiling a little, despite the fact he had just been told to shut up. There was something oddly satisfying about getting on Hank's nerves, especially when it was over harmless things. 'Banter' was what it was called.

Hank had been sober since the revolution, and that was nearing six months ago. It was a little difficult for Connor to get a grasp on how that made him feel. 'Proud' seemed to be the word that came up the most in his searches. He was proud of his partner and wanted to congratulate him.

The older detective insisted 'I don't need nuttin' and 'don't buy me no damn gifts' when Connor suggested they celebrate. After some insistence, Hank reluctantly agreed to let Connor help him clean his house. It seemed to go hand in hand with Hank's new resolve: get your shit together, tidy up the place, buy some new fucking furniture.

"Isn't the point of this whole deviant thing to not do stuff for humans?" Hank asked, mopping the kitchen while Connor loaded up 'Hank's crap' in a box to be donated.

"I'm doing this because I want to," Connor insisted. He paused and turned to Hank. "We could test it? Tell me to do something."

Hank leaned against the broom, eyeing the android suspiciously. "Fine. Trim Sumo's nails."

Connor did not even break eye contact. "No."

Hank let out a howling laugh. "Smartass."

The android smiled and resumed what he had been doing. It all made sense, why humans got such a rise in telling people to fuck off, why Hank had no issue telling Connor to 'mind his own damn business' when he scolded him for his choice in food. Free will felt good. Connor had his own apartment, collected a paycheck. He went to work every day because he wanted to.

The doorbell rang and Connor eyed Hank first.

The lieutenant shrugged his shoulders. "Knock yourself out. Probably just some damn door to door salesman."

Connor trotted over to the front door. When he answered , he was greeted by a pretty woman, a few inches shorter than him, with a bright smile and beaming eyes. She had a curious demeanor: like she had knocked on this door dozens of times. Well, you had, it had just been a long time.

Before he could utter a word-

"Holy shit," you exclaimed through a wild grin. You had expected Hank to answer the door. But, a familiar face did instead. His hair was neatly trimmed with just a few devious strands fallen over his forehead, kind brown eyes and a squared jaw. Most guys grew out of their freckles. You were pleased to see that he did not.

His eyes flickered with confusion at the sight of you. It was to be expected, so you didn't overthink it.

Excitement overwhelmed you and you reached forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down into a friendly embrace. He was frozen stiff in the door way, one hand still on the handle while the other hung limp at his side.

"God you got tall," you murmured happily into the space above his shoulder. You pulled back and looked into his confused eyes.

"Cole, don't tell me you forgot your best friend?" you teased. His head tilted slightly and his brow softened.

In the corner of your eye, you could see Hank approaching from the kitchen. When you saw the look on his face, your excitement settled down. He did not look like the police officer you knew growing up. His once clean shaven face was covered in a messy beard. His once neatly trimmed hair was long and shaggy. He had greyed a tremendous amount, likely from stress.

Yet, his kind eyes were the same as you remembered.

"Officer Anderson," you addressed him with a smile.

Hank didn't even have to ponder over who you might be. You were all grown up, sure, but like hell he'd ever forget the kid his kid spent most of his time with. He uttered your name with a sort of fondness that brought you right back to your childhood. However, there was something equally depressing in the way he said it.

"I am very sorry; but, I am not Cole."

Your eyes returned to the young man in front of you, the one you had just embraced. He offered his hand to you. You gawked up at him for a moment, processing what he had just said. It was then that you finally saw it, the solid blue LED on his temple.

Embarrassment flushed your face; so, you took his hand to try to drown it out. "My name is Connor and I am a detective with the Detroit Police Department," he introduced himself proudly.

"I - I'm sorry. That was very rude of me," you apologized, voice so much smaller than it was a few seconds ago. Connor didn't seem bothered at all by what had just occurred.

"Good to see ya', kid," Hank grunted. You nodded at him and forced a smile. Hank did not.

The older detective made a gesture, beckoning you inside. "Why don'tja come in..."

The android, Connor, stepped out of the way and you followed Hank into his living room. It had not changed one bit since the last time you were here: the same shaggy carpets and wrinkly old couch and faded recliner.

He had not said it yet; but, as you took a seat and began to process everything, you knew what was coming. Hank took a seat in his recliner and leaned forward, elbows on his lap. You felt your heart sink into your stomach and blood rush to your ears.

"Cole died, not long after you moved away," Hank explained. "This hunk'a'plastic is my partner." He motioned at Connor with a wave of his arm. "Sorry," he added on gruffly.

He had died... that long ago? And you had no idea... You had grown up, graduated college, lived through a quarter of your life already and Cole was... was gone, had been gone, long before he could experience much of anything.

"Hank - shit - I'm sorry. I came barging in here and-..." Hank waved you down, hoping to calm the storm that was beginning to brew. You continued, however, trying to settle the unease in your voice. "Me being here - it probably brought back painful memories. I should leave."

"Brought back memories, ya. Not painful ones," he replied, tone low, but sincere. "Less you count the time he fell outta the tree and broke his arm. You blamed yourself. So, I had two crying kids. Fucking hell."

His grumpy, yet playful tone, brought a smile to your face, and you choked out a laugh. "It was my fault," you giggled out.

"Yeah, well. That's a'right. He wore that cast like a medal," Hank replied with a soft smile, eyes looking off into nothing for a moment.

"I just wanted to say hi - check in on you guys," you explained, sniffling. You wiped some tears away before standing up. "I'm a mechanic - er, nurse - for androids. Moved back here to help, after the revolution - well, y'know. It's gonna be awhile before we can figure out a healthcare plan for androids."

"Sounds like you got a lot on your plate," Hank replied.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're still a cop. I imagine you'll be hearing from me a lot - abuse cases, y'know?"

"I'm glad you made something of yourself," the older detective added on, fatherly tone catching you off guard. It forced a sincere smile to your face.

"I better get outta here," you breathed. "Oh! Uhm - here - in case you ever need to get ahold of me." You pulled a card out of your pocket and offered it to Hank before offering another one to the android. You avoided his gaze in the process, but he took the card eagerly.

"I'm mainly gonna be stationed at Thirium Clinic. They just opened a couple weeks ago. Lots of... well, battle wounds and-..." You trailed off when Hank nodding in understanding. Tensions were still running high, violent protests were inevitably going to continue for a very long time.

Hank yanked his wallet out of his pocket and tucked the card away.  In the corner of your eye, you could see Connor do the same with the card you handed him. "Thanks, kid. My cell never changed if you still have it."

"Good to know. Thanks, Hank."

"If we meet again, I hope it is under good circumstances," the android - Connor - stated. Your eyes landed on him, a natural response from trained politeness.

You tried not to be overwhelmed by the site of him. He looked like Cole - like Cole had grown up and matured into a handsome young man. His soft brown eyes and freckles clashed deliciously with his sharp jawline. His designers had even put texture in his skin around his mouth and along his jaw and chin, suggesting he shaved every morning. Most androids had flawless skin; but, Connor had visible pores.

"I hope so, too," you replied, forcing your eyes away from his face.

Did Hank know what Connor looked like? He said they were partners. Did Hank choose Connor? Was he made for Hank? Did Connor know what he looked like? You had lots of questions. But, none of them were even mildly appropriate.

"Hank, thank you for letting me bug you for a bit. It was nice."

He smiled a crooked smile. "Sure thing, kid. Now, get off my lawn."

You returned his smile and saw yourself out.

As soon as the door closed, Connor's mouth was open.

"Don't you apologize or any other dumb shit," Hank scolded him.

Connor's mouth made a quiet sound when he smacked it closed.

"Back to work," Hank groaned.

...

...

...

Luck had it that you saw Hank and his android companion less than a week later. It first came in the form of a text from the older detective.

'connor fucked up his hand you working?' was what it read. You replied with a simple 'yes' and two of Detroit's finest were walking through the sliding door to the Thirium Clinic.

When you approached them, Connor had a towel wrapped loosely around his hand, the cotton stained blue from all the thirium that had leaked out of him.

"Hope you didn't expect something fancy," you said shyly as you ushered the boys over to a booth. The place was clearly an abandoned grocery store turned medical office. They had not yet put up any real walls, just portable ones to give the illusion of privacy. Simply put, it was a shit show

Connor sat down and propped his arm on the chair's operating arm. You took a seat next to him, flipped on the hovering light, and carefully removed the towel.

"Really? Have you seen my house?" Hank barked.

You chuckled at that; but, the laughter died off when you exposed Connor's injuries. The sheeting - skin, if you will - was completely torn off Conner's right hand: his palm, the pads of his fingers, even a few inches down his wrist. The wiring was exposed, and you could already spot several that needed to be replaced. His hand felt stiff as concrete, further proving the damage you had feared.

"Shit," you cursed, spinning away from him in your chair to a nearby filing cabinet. You fished out some wires, and continued fishing until you found the right ones for his model.

Connor had remained quite still, you realized, when you came back around. You looked over his arm again, mentally preparing yourself for the path ahead.

"Aside from the obvious missing tissue and thirium loss, it's like nerve damage," you explained over your shoulder to Hank.

"Damn it, Connor," he grunted.

"Sorry, lieutenant," the android replied, intentionally robotic, but with the slightest smirk on the corner of his lip.

You had to choke down a laugh. "I'm glad it hasn't been hurting you, Connor. But, this might," you warned him as you set down the wires.

"I understand," he replied firmly.

He twitched a little when you plucked the first wire. For the rest, he managed to stay still. With how close you were, you could occasionally hear him let out a quiet, sharp hiss, so quiet that Hank was unlikely to hear it. You ended up replacing almost every wire that ran from his digits, through his palm, and down his wrist to the first joint bracket. Listening to him wince in pain never got any easier.

"Finally. Done with the wires," you breathed once the last one was secured. You leaned back and let Connor flex his fingers and twist his hand. He began to rotate his wrist around when you decided to stop him, gently cupping the back of his hand.

You did this all the time; but, you were faintly aware of heat blossoming on your cheeks as you held Connor’s hand. You silently scolded yourself, feeling a little too old to have a silly crush.

"Gotta patch you up, then a thirium transplant," you breathed.

Before it would adhered to an android and take on a skin tone, their flesh was pale, metallic, shiny and sparkly. It was also something between plastic and silicone, and had to be melted.

Hands were detailed, with corners and wrinkles, and much harder to get right than patching a wound on a thigh, which meant it would take a little longer. You had a handheld device that made it easier. It looked almost like a tattoo gun, and allowed you to carefully adhere it over the gaping wounds on his hand.

Normally, you had to ask your patients to be still. Connor seemed to be doing a great job of handling that without needing to be told. As you finished, you watched in awe as the flesh took on the peachy, light color of his factory default skin tone.

With a sigh, you set your tools down and maneuvered over to a nearby storage container holding bags of thirium. You wished one out and handed it to the detective. His levels weren’t low enough to require manual insertion. He could do it a more conventional way.

It was almost funny that androids were designed this way, that their only existing digestive track was to take in more blood. Keeping their thirium levels in the proper range was the closest equivalent they had to the need for nutrients.

Connor smiled gratefully as he took the bag from your hand. “That should be good,” you stated, trying not to feel so bashful beneath his gaze. “Let me know if anything feels wrong in your han-”

It was an unexpected door slam that shattered the moment. Some gasps sounded from the around room, You stood up and looked towards the entrance to see a severely damaged android limping in, a gun in his left hand and his right cradling a wound. He was wearing scraggily clothes that looked unfitting with his prim and proper haircut.

"I want an android doctor!" he demanded, the gun tight in his hand but pointed to the floor. His posture suggested he was scared to use it. However, that did not stop Connor from drawing his own gun.

"Wait," you hissed at him, pushing his arm down.

Connor uttered your name in a scolding tone as you stepped away from the chair and approached the injured android.

You took slow steps towards him, palms exposed in a display of yielding.

"S-stop!" he stuttered, shouting at you. Yet, he didn't point the gun at you.

"Hi. What is your name?" you asked him, not bothering to try and hide your nervousness. Everyone was staring at him nervously, patients near the door scrambling to get away from him.

He hesitated, looking at you with fear in his eyes. "T-Thomas..."

"Hi, Thomas," you replied, trying your best to steady your voice. "I'm sorry but all the nurses here are human. We came here from all over the country to help androids. You don't need the gun."

"No!" he cried out. "I don't want any humans touching me!"

Thomas was not just handsome, he was gorgeous. He had the type of pretty face people dreamt about and bright blue eyes. It didn't take a genius to determine what he was made for.

"Thomas, no one here is going to do anything that you don't want," you spoke to him, firmly. That was easy to say without fear, because it was the truth. "I promise."

You stepped closer, one foot at a time, and kept your eyes on his. You offered your hand and watched the fear slowly melt away behind his eyes.

"H-humans lie," he uttered, choked up, tears threatening to fall.

"I know. I'm sorry, Thomas," you replied quietly. For a moment, you had forgotten that everyone was still staring. "You're free now. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Thomas, I want to help you. But, before I can, I need you to put the gun down."

"I don't wanna go back," he whimpered. He didn't point the gun at you, but he held it as if to declare that he would use it to make sure that wouldn't happen.

"Are they making you work, Thomas? Your owners?" you asked, watching his face contort in agony. His LED was hidden behind his hair; but, when he turned his head, you could see it blaring red.

"They don't own you anymore," you said, firmly, anger shining through. "Please let me help you."

You stepped a little closer and, this time, he lifted the gun enough that it pointed at you. You almost could see down the barrel.

"It's okay to be afraid. I am, t-too, Thomas," you continued, lifting your hands a little higher. He was sobbing, now, fat tears falling down his cheeks, tinted blue from the stress. His hand, gripping the gun, was shaking.

"Y-you're going into shock from lack of thirium. Please, Thomas, please put the gun down and let me save you!"

His grip had weakened; before you could react, a hand came out of the corner of your field of view and grabbed the gun, effortlessly yanking it from Thomas' grasp. The android collapsed onto his knees in a fit of sobbing, clothing soaked in blue that oozed onto the floor.

Connor stood over the android, Thomas' gun now firmly in his grasp. When did he-? That fast... or had you just not seen him sneaking up behind you?

You brushed past Connor and joined Thomas on the ground. You offered your hand again and he stared at it for a moment. He gasped, once, then twice, before finally taking your hand. Another nurse was at your side in seconds and helped Thomas to his feet. The android was babbling on static, on the verge of powering down.

Connor watched you stagger away with the android, his thirium seeping all over you and staining your scrubs. You were still speaking to him in that gentle voice, ushering him to calm down. All the surrounding patrons had relaxed and continued on as they were. Connor was still holding the gun in his hand. It was covered in buildup, likely uncleaned for years; but, it felt heavy, definitely loaded with a full magazine.

He was so hyper-focused on you that he did not even notice Hank approaching. "You alright, Connor?" Hank asked, knocking the android's arm with his own.

"She's amazing," he replied quietly.

Hank laughed at his declaration. "Look at you getting all doe-eyed." Hank clapped a hand over Connor's shoulder and dragged him towards the door. "Come on, Tiger. With your track record, I'm sure you'll be back in here in no time."

...

...

...

Admiration, Connor realized, is what he felt for you. You were smart, independent, strong. He was impressed with the way you handled an agitated android. He was even more impressed by how much you cared about them. Or, maybe flattered was a better word? He didn't quite know. He just knew that he couldn't stop thinking about you.

"Earth to android," Gavin bellowed, snapping his fingers in the android's face.

Connor looked up at him with an unbothered expression. He was seated at his desk and Gavin, apparently, had been leaning over him, trying to get his attention.

"Watching porn in your head or something, tin can?" he suggested with a sneer.

"I was going over the case files, which happened to be far more important than your whining," Connor replied coolly.

Gavin slammed his hands on the android's desk. "There's still a score to settle. Test me, motherfucker," he growled.

"Sure. Name the game," the android replied with a small smirk.

"Quite the pair on ya' for someone with no balls," Gavin said through clenched teeth.

Connor glared at him slightly, a retort bubbling up in his throat. He did, actually. Without the function of human genitalia, but passable for a real pair, so to speak.

"Maybe if you called him by his name, he would answer," another detective suggested, delivering a harsh slap to Gavin's back as he passed by.

Gavin swung around and hollered at the passerby. "Yeah, when I'm fucking dead!"

Connor rolled his eyes and returned to the computer screen in his mind. He was looking at case files, actually. He just wasn't... thinking about them.

"Another human killed by an android. You'd know all about that. So, enjoy," Gavin declared proudly, dropping a file on Connor's desk. He could care less if Gavin spent the rest of his life hating his wires. But, another detective had... defended him? How... odd. But, not unwelcomed.

Connor opened the case file and took a breath that he didn't need.

...

...

...

Coincidences... Perhaps, a glitch in the matrix? Or just pure luck.

The very morning after patching up Connor, you were in line to get coffee with none other than Hank right in front of you.

"You stalking me?" he teased, hands shoved into his coat pockets and breath visible in front of his face. Most of the snow had thawed, but it was still too damn cold outside.

"Probably," you replied dryly. "This place is the only good place in town."

"Great minds think alike," Hank agreed.

It was your turn to order everyone coffees, so you had several on the way. You and Hank waited together, and even after he got his single mug, he still waited alongside you.

"Whatever it is you wanna ask, just ask, kid," he grumbled.

"Just surprised you got an android partner," you uttered, looking away from him nervously.

"I didn't like him at first. He grew on me, and he's a damn good detective," Hank answered, pausing to take a sip of his coffee. "Don't be embarrassed 'bout confusing him with Cole. I'm not oblivious to the way he looks."

You looked over to Hank, who looked oddly peaceful despite what he was saying.

"Those Cyberlife bastards knew he was gonna be partnered with me. I doubt it was an accident."

Your brow shot up at his implication. "Connor was made to be a detective android, then?"

Hank nodded into his drink. "Yep."

"Does he like being a detective?"

"I asked him that once, when he wanted to come back after all the... protests. He said his programming was gone, no more 'lines of code' telling him what to do... but he still wanted to solve crimes. All I can do is hope it's what he wants, and not choosing the path of least resistance."

"Me too," you whispered, far too fondly for your own good. Hank shot you a look; but, luckily, the barista came to your rescue and called out your name.

"Bye, Hank!" you hollered, rushing to the counter to grab your drinks and see yourself out. It wasn't entirely for selfish reasons. The clinic was waiting, after all.

[burntmcnuggies]

A Good Sidekick

Manipulative Hawks x Reader

Warnings; sexual content 18+, thigh riding, oral sex (receiving and giving), possessive hawks, manipulative behavior, slightly yandere if you squint, and strong language. 

Word count: 9.3K

It was finally happening, you were finally becoming a sidekick, and to your favorite hero Hawks no less! It was the happiest moment of your life when you heard his receptionist happily congratulate you on your new position. You were practically bouncing off the walls at the news. You were quick to text all your friends, especially Rumi knowing that she sorta knew the winged-hero. She warned you briefly about how manipulative the pro was, and how lazy he could be. She even told stories of how she had to team up with him and he never did any of the paperwork. Poor Rumi went on an hour spiel about it, still irritated at the higher ranked hero’s negligence for his important paperwork. Besides that, you were still over the moon about meeting him!

If only you knew how dangerous that was.

Your first day rolled around and you walked into his agency, vastly spacious and lively with other pros and staff. Everyone greeted you kindly, introducing themselves and giving you a pathetic good luck once you made your way to the front desk. The receptionist looked up at you, her eyes trailing up and down your body with a slight furrow in her brows. “Oh, you must be Ms. (L/N).” Her snobby attitude rubbed you the wrong way, but you decided to keep your mouth shut about it and pretend you didn’t just hear anything. You nodded, telling her you were there to see Hawks. Her lips twitched in annoyance, showing you that she was indeed one of his thirsty fans. “Let me ring him, make sure he’s-“

“Ah! There’s my new sidekick!” As if on cue, the number two pro hero sauntered over with his hands in his pockets, large wings tucked behind him to make him more approachable, less intimidating. Your eyes cast upwards hearing his friendly voice, a smile creeping it’s way to your lips. “Good morning, Hawks.” You greeted politely, standing in front of him while the receptionist quickly stood and blushed, greeting Hawks with her hands in front of her. He grinned and gave her a wink and wave, giving her a morning greet as well. “So, are you ready to go, birdie?” He asked with smirk, wings twitching and slowly unfurling to show you a sneak peek of just how large they were.

“Yes, I hope we work well together!”

——

After about a month being Hawks’ sidekick you were absolutely exhausted. They weren’t kidding when they said he was too fast for his own good. The man could make it all the way across Japan in seconds without breaking a sweat. You also learned fairly quickly that a lot of his time was spent lazily patrolling, giving fan service and autographs, and stuffing his face full of junk food and chicken. This wasn’t at all how you expected to spend your first month as Hawks’ sidekick to be like. You were hoping you’d take down some villains, have Hawks praise you and have that feeling of knowing you helped people. But all you got was being the background character for Hawks’ show, his one man show. You began to wonder why he even wanted a sidekick.

“It’d look good on my reputation. Takin’ in a fresh new hero and bein’ a mentor. It bodes well with the approval ratings don’tcha think?” Well, that made you feel like absolute shit. Of course you were expecting that kind of answer knowing the winged-hero and how he loved to push peoples buttons occasionally. You just weren’t quite ready for it yet. “Awe, don’t look so sad, birdie. You’re my favorite side kick.” You were his only sidekick, his first one to be exact. So, you cut him a little slack judging by this was his first sidekick as the 22 year-old continued to rise in popularity and recognition. “Oh I’m not upset, Hawks. Just tired of doing this lame paperwork you should be doing yourself.”

“But I really appreciate you doin’ it for me!” He gave you a cheeky lob-sided smile and kicked his feet up on his desk. A heavy sigh left your lips, reluctantly going back to breaking your wrist over doing his paperwork for hours. After a couple minutes you heard the shifting of clothes and movement from Hawks’ desk. You peered up to see him walking over to you with a smile. “C’mon birdie, we’re goin’ out.” You quickly stood and followed him out of his office, an excited expression smearing over your face. He shoved his hands in his pockets and flared his wings out behind you. “S-So what’re we doing? Are we going to kick some villain ass? Are we going to meet up and help some heroes out? Oh! Or are we going to help the police!”

“You’ll see, birdie.”

——

“Man! I sure was starved! Thanks for treatin’ me out to lunch, my amazing sidekick!”

Oh, so you were treating him out to lunch now? You’re paying? Even though he’s the one who brought you here? You were starting to lose respect for him every moment you spent with him. A small tick mark appeared on your forehead, and you sent the winged-man a harsh glare snatching the menu off the table before looking over the food. Might as well go with it, he is the number two hero, you couldn’t afford to go to a new agency when you’re this far along. Your eyes almost bulged out of your head at the expensive prices. “Hawks! I-I don’t have this kind of money! I-i can’t afford anything on this menu except water!” Your heart was sinking to the pits of your stomach, already envisioning your wallet producing cobwebs in a matter of seconds once he drained you of every penny you owned. You were broke out of your panicked nightmare when his laughter pierced your eardrums. “I’m just playin’ birdie. I thought I’d treat you out to some food since I haven’t been the best boss to you lately. Get whatever your little heart desires!”

You looked up at him surprised, not really knowing how to take in his offer of buying you lunch. It was definitely true you were working hard, so having Hawks treat you to lunch wasn’t too bad... right? No way, then you’d owe the bastard a favor. “Thank you, Hawks. But really, I can’t. I’ll just have a water and pick up something on my way-“ He silenced you with his index finger, smushing your lips against your teeth. A suggestive smirk spread across his lovely pale pink lips, thumb slowly caressing your bottom lip before he gripped your chin. He brought his face closer, eyes staring directly into yours. Furious flurries of golden clashing with the sea of (E/C) that was fading as your pupils dilated in surprise. “I said I was treating you didn’t I? So just order whatever you want, or I’m gonna order the most expensive thing on the menu for you whether you eat it or not. I’d choose if I were you, birdie. Wouldn’t want an empty stomach before patrol would we?”

Damn, how manipulative he could be. Hawks knew how to push people’s buttons to get what he wanted in the end, and that’s exactly what he was doing to you. Forcing you into a situation to guilt you. After you reluctantly agreed and ordered something small, he began to talk your ear off. His hands flew here and there, his smile widening with every word that spewed out of his mouth. You had no idea Hawks could talk so much, and about nothing at that. Most of his one-sided conversation was about how much he loved chicken and food in general, then brief mentions of his modeling career on the side. One thing that interested you during his spiel was how much he admired Endeavor. Why had Hawks became a pro instead of becoming a sidekick?

“Why didn’t you go to Endeavor’s agency and be his sidekick instead of starting your own agency? Seems like you’ve admired him even before you started it.” His eyes widened in surprise, a bit taken aback by the question. The feathers in his strong wings rippled slowly, twitching as they tightened against his back. You’d made him uncomfortable. “Endeavor wouldn’tve accepted me no way! Our quirks are totally incompatible. Plus, it’s more fun being in my own agency where I can do as I please!” His smile faltered for a moment, before he brightened it forcefully, laughing it off and taking a sip of his drink. You frowned. You were no idiot. You knew he was lying. “If you didn’t want to tell me the truth you could’ve just said so instead of lie.”

“Ah, so you saw through my lie?” A teasing smirk plastered his lips, cementing itself there like that just to tease you. You couldn’t force down the light blush that dusted across your cheeks at his smirk, but you shook it off quickly, remembering your professional relationship with the pro. “It wasn’t that difficult. Judging by the look of surprise on your face I figured you’d tell me a lie.” He laughed and shrugged his shoulders back throwing his hands up in defeat. His eyes closed and he showed off a charming grin. “Didn’t think you’d notice that! You’re pretty smart birdie I’ll give ya that.” Was that an insult or a compliment...? Who cares, foods here! Time to dig in.

“Thanks! Looks delicious as always, my compliments to the chef.” He winked at the waiter charmingly and she bowed respectfully leaving the two of you alone. He immediately began digging in, stuffing his face until his cheeks looked like a chipmunks. “Geez Hawks... you act like you haven’t eaten in weeks. You’re making a huge mess.” Leaning across the table with a napkin in your hand, you wipe his cheek and dab his lips, frowning at the mess he’s making. He mumbled something with his mouth full, making your frown deepen more in disgust. He swallowed and laughed. “Ya know, you should just be my wife instead of my sidekick. You already take care of me so well!”

“Haha, very funny Hawks.” An eye roll is given as a response along with your words, digging into your own small meal you got for half of what Hawks got his. He stayed silent while he ate, letting you enjoy the small serene moments of silence with him before he was back to teasing you and asking you to do his work for him. “Come on, Hawks. I think I’ve been good, can’t you do your paperwork just this week? Please? And then I’ll do it next week?” Oh how he was spiraling into a dangerous field of temptation. Yeah, you have been a good girl, so good he wants to bend you over his desk and fuck you. He knew it wasn’t the right time though, you were still getting adjusted to him. Maybe a few more weeks... if he could hold out that long.

“Alright, alright, fine. You’ve twisted my wings, birdie. You tricky little minx you are.” He smuggly smirked and looked over at your food, eyes staring a little too intently. He was staring at your breasts, playing it off as staring at your food. “You gonna eat the rest of that? ‘Cause I’ll totally eat the rest.” You smiled shaking your head and slid the remaining bits of your small meal over to him, letting him plumpen his belly. Afterwards, he was a gentlemen, and took you back to your house, not wanting a pretty, fertile girl like you to walk by herself. “Thank you, Hawks... I really needed that. I was beginning to feel down.” He cocked his head to the side in confusion, his poor birdbrain becoming jumbled.

“Why would you feel down? You’re doin’ a good job! I’ve never met anyone who could keep up with me as good as you can!” His usual heart stopping smile spread onto his soft lips, pearly white teeth showing. Your heart soared at the praise from your favorite hero, doubts slowly washing away like the tides. “Oh... w-well all I did was do paperwork and just walk with you... I’ve never been a sidekick, so I wasn’t sure if I was doing something wrong or not.” Hawks let out a held in sigh, his shoulders slumping with his lip sticking out in thought. His hands went behind his head as his walked down the street to your home with you. “To be honest, I don’t know either. I’m just doin’ my thing with someone else! Nothin’ too different.”

“And I’m really glad to spend time with you, Hawks. I was just hoping my time as a sidekick would be more... exciting ya know?” Hawks didn’t respond as you both neared the entrance to your low budget apartment. You stopped in front of your door, fishing for your keys before he spoke. “Tell ya what, tomorrow I’ll see if I can trade patrol routes with someone, and we’ll go patrol somewhere with a lotta crime. Sound fun, birdie?” He didn’t miss when your eyes sparkled brightly at his proposal, smiling genuinely at your pure excitement. Taking hold of your keys tightly, you grinned ear to ear, nodding enthusiastically. “Yeah! That sounds great! I’ll see you tomorrow Hawks, thank you so much for buying me dinner and talking to me... it really meant a lot.”

“No problem, baby girl. Get in, get some rest, we’ve got a busy day ahead of us!” He smirked and gave you a wink, waving as he lifted his wings and took to the skies outside your apartment complex. You stood still briefly, thinking about what he’d said. ‘Baby girl’? What did that even mean? He usually called you ‘Birdie’ but baby girl? He sure was getting more cocky and flirtatious with you. Yet again, Hawks was a huge flirt with everyone, mainly to keep up his reputation as a friendly supportive hero. His fan service is what made girls swoon for him. However, you weren’t really affected by it, you wanted to remain professional with Hawks, nothing more, nothing less.

He had other plans.

—

Two more months past easily. You were starting to get more and more used to Hawks’ antics and behavior. He hired two more sidekicks, primarily to clean up after his messes so he could drag you along to the next distress call, all to see that smile on your face. Other than finally being able to work a lot more, you grew closer to Hawks personally. You discovered his favorite coffee, favorite food, restaurant, places to go, and what he enjoyed doing in his free time. The wall that divided friendship and a friendly co-worker relationship remained established by you, becoming uncomfortable when he would start to casually touch you inappropriately. In a way co-workers shouldn’t be doing.

The relationship between you both was complicated in the eyes of others, especially when Hawks was so persistent. He would come behind you and swing his arm around your shoulders, fingers occasionally brushing gently over your breasts. Then you had the slight PDA. If you were on patrol and some guy walked a bit too close to you, Hawks would place his hand on the small of your back, his thumb stroking slowly, dangerously close to touching your ass. It didn’t help when his wing would cover your body and shield you away from everyone. His flirting became sexual fairly quick, and you were beginning to become more and more uncomfortable by the day. Just like now.

Hawks ordered you to lay down on the couch in his office while he cut your nails. Why? Who fucking knew. He explained it was a bird thing. His hands were bare of gloves, jacket discarded to rest over you to keep you warm in his slightly cool office. His rough fingers glided across yours gently, trimming your nails like an expert. “Do you trim your nails a lot, Hawks? I feel like I’m about to get a professional manicure.” He laughed and rose his hand further up your hand to your wrist, golden eyes admiring your fingers closely. His warm hand carefully began to glide up your forearm, then back down, caressing your skin. A chill ran down your spine at his lack of response. “H-Hawks?”

“Ya know birds preen themselves and their mates? The males...” He began to lean in closer towards your face, pupils dilating while he focused solely on you. You attempted to pull your hand back away from him but he continued. “They’ll preen their feathers to look their best to court fertile females.” That word made your stomach twist in fear. The word ‘fertile’ was such an animalistic and carnal way of viewing a significant other. You could now smell the heavy musk of his cologne, the minty scent of his breath, and the hot gaze he had fixated on you. He was intoxicating. “And the males will preen the females, and feed them, and take care of them while the females raise the chicks.”

“W-What’re you s-saying all of a sudden...?” He only stared into your eyes with a smirk, wings stretching out behind him while his other hand finally came to rest on your thigh. His wings began to close in around you both, before his phone rang. Tearing himself away from you, he plucked his phone from his pocket and gave off a cheesy smile. “Hawks here, whatcha need?” You were struggling to regain your composure from what had just happened, but the shock would settle into your brain somehow. You should’ve expected this from Hawks, he was a flirt sure, but to the extent of explaining avian courtship with you? What was he even getting at? “We’re on our way.” He hung up the phone abruptly and slung his coat off you and onto himself. His gloves slid on easily, looking at you in confusion.

“What’re you doin’? Let’s go! We’ve got work to do, birdie.”

——

“Man that was boring. At least I got to stretch my wings out a bit, right birdie?” Hawks grinned and looked back at your dizzy form struggling to stand due to the speed and harsh jerks while Hawks was flying you to the distress call. You propped a hand against the wall and covered your mouth briefly before swallowing thickly and coughing. “Y-Yeah... right... not like I almost died flying with you or anything...” He let out an obnoxious heart fluttering laugh and walked on over to you, smiling smugly as he handed you his stack of paperwork from the distress call. You stared at it for a moment, then looked back up at him, tempted to wipe that smug look right off his pretty face. “Well... to repay you, I’ll just go on ahead and give you my paperwork, then you can have the day off tomorrow. Sound like a plan?”

A grumble came from your lips in response, sitting on the couch and looking through what was needed to be done. There was no way Hawks was actually going to let you have a day off. The last one you did have he came to your home and told you to get dressed, that you both were going on a mission. Sadly that mission ending in chicken nuggets, a lowly robber trying to rob a gas station, and more paperwork for you. “Like you’re gonna give me a peaceful day off tomorrow, Hawks. Might I remind you that my last day off you dragged me out of my house the entire day? The time before that you wouldn’t stop texting me about how bored you were, and spammed me every time I didn’t answer.” A small huff is directed towards him, and he only laughs in response, shrugging his shoulders dismissively.

“What can I say, I miss you baby girl. I always like havin’ my favorite side kick by my side, fightin’ crime... and helping me get one step closer to my dream for this world.” Your eyes softened at Hawks’ kind words, a smile spreading over your lips. Maybe Hawks genuinely did think you were a good sidekick. Maybe you were a bit too hard on him, a friendship could actually work between the two of you. “You’re the best fucking side kick ever, birdie. Ya know that?” He questioned, wings slowly expanding while he came around beside you and plopped down. His wings came behind you, his legs spread wide apart and nudging your knee. “But there’s still more room to improve, birdie. You wanna know how to be an even better side kick?”

“How?” You tilted your head in curiosity, momentarily stopping your assault on the pile of papers you had in front of you to look him in the eye. Hawks turned his body towards you, wing covered your bodies from the door so no one would see. His eyes had once again filled with carnal desire, his tongue sliding across his lips. “By kissin’ me. Right now. Right here on the lips.” He pat his soft pale pink lips, a devilish smirk spreading over his lovely pretty face. Your eyes widened in shock, freezing in your tracks as those words processed in your brain. “Wh-What?” You thought you heard him wrong, did he actually just ask you to kiss him? You must be hearing things or he must have flew into a window, cause there was no way in hell, the Hawks just demanded you kiss him. “I think you heard me baby girl, you’re just playin’ with me aren’tcha?”

“H-Hawks that’s very inappropriate... I’m your sidekick... we shouldn’t-“ He cut you off by grabbing your chin, his deep golden eyes burning holes through your skull as he stared at you with a predatory gaze. You swallowed thickly, feeling utterly trapped by his hypotonic gaze. “There’s nothin’ inappropriate about it. You’re just a good lil’ sidekick, who wants to show her hero how much she appreciates him, right? That’s what we’re doin’ love bird, unless... you’re not a good girl? And you don’t appreciate everything I’ve done for you.” This was definitely peer pressure and sexual harassment. One kiss couldn’t hurt right? Then he would leave you alone, let you finish your work, and you could be on your merry way back to the comfort of your bed. “Just... one kiss okay?”

“That’ll depend on how good ya kiss me.” He smirked smugly and brought your faces closer together, his head slowly moving to the side. Your noses brushed together, the contact making your whole body shudder under his touch. His eyes scanned yours, a smirk still tugging at his lips as he waited for you to lean in the rest of the way. Swallowing thickly and trying to calm your racing heart, you rested your hands on his chest, slowly leaning in and molding your lips together with his. You were going to pull away, but he harshly grabbed the back of your head and jerked your head back by your hair, deepening the kiss. Your eyes jerked open in shock, hands clenching together against his chest, weakly trying to push him off.

His wings spread wide around you both, feathers rippling and shivering under the pleasure of your lips finally against his. He had only dreamed of having you like this. Hawks knew he needed to keep himself contained for the moment, he wasn’t done playing with you just yet. His tongue slid over your lips, digging his slimy muscle between your plush lips, grazing your teeth with his tongue. You slowly opened your mouth, deciding it would be better to give him what he wanted than to have him whine and manipulate you for more. His tongue was hot, spit exchanging between your mouths as hot breathes were exhaled into each other when you parted for air. There was something that was keeping you glued to him —much to your disliking. His touch felt too good to let go of.

“Fuck, baby.” Hearing him curse like that made your legs twitch in your seat, a sudden rush of heat making your love parts tingle in excitement. Spit ran down your chin as he continued his assault on your mouth, thick gloved hands roughly grabbing your shoulders and moving down your chest, giving your breasts a firm squeeze. This was when you pushed him off, his tongue lulling out of his mouth, both your saliva coating his dripping muscle. “J-Just that one kiss! That’s it! N-Now can I... c-can I go home?” His only response was the dispersing of his wings to shrug his jacket off, dark vermillion feathers coming back to bring his intimidating wings back to life. He wiped his mouth on his now bare hands, smirking with a knowing grin. “Nah, I ain’t satisfied yet. I think I need s’more kisses from my good sidekick.”

The blush burning your cheeks only grew more prominent when he pulled you over to the couch in his office, plopping you on his lap before running his hands over your waist. His eyes roamed over your body lovingly, biting his lip in anticipation once he looked back up into your waiting eyes. “Kiss me everywhere, baby. Show me just how much you appreciate me, yeah? How much you love your brave handsome hero.” You shifted uncomfortably on his lap, clothed sex slowly brushing against his thigh while you leaned in close to his lips. Your fingers glided over his cheek, kissing him once again before trailing slow tender kisses across his cheek and down to his stubble. That small patch of hair that made him look more like a man than a pretty boy. “Yeah, love bird. Your lips feel amazing on me, keep goin’.”

Spurred on by his praise, you continued to kiss down his neck, biting gently near his Adam’s Apple and give it a nice lick. Your kisses fell to his clothed collar bones, kissing over his shoulders and down his sternum. Your body was growing hotter by the second as Hawks piercing gaze remained on you while you moved to the floor between his legs. A low groan rumbled in his throat when you began to kiss his abdomen while running your fingers down his slim waist and over his lovely abs. “Fuck, birdie. This ain’t your first time is it? I bet you’ve done this plenty of times. I can smell your arousal all the way from up here, damn.” His husky words sent more warmth between your legs, feeling a noticeable wetness start to build up in your panties. It made you ashamed at how wet your boss was making you.

“N-No, sir... I’ve only done this... once or twice...” Hawks’ sadistically cruel smirk widened upon hearing you voice your vague inexperience. He ran his fingers through your hair, slowly running over your cheek before he pushed your head away from his lower abdomen with his palm. “Well... you’re acting like a total slut. A slut for me, yeah? You’d spread your legs for your hero wouldn’t you? It’d make you the best sidekick in the world.” His deep manipulatively sultry voice echoed in your ears, turning your brain into mush. Hawks slowly brought his hands away from your face and moved his tight shirt up his abdomen, hands immediately going back to fumble with his belt. Two large H’s hung loosely to the sides while his fingers slowly pulled the zipper down, bright crimson wings fluttering in excitement. “Hawk got your tongue, love bird?”

You swallowed and answered quickly. “Y-Yes sir... wait, I-I mean no. I don’t... I don’t want this Hawks.” Your arms lowered to covered your chest defensively, a blush rising against your cheeks. Still, you couldn’t ignore the wetness that gathered between your legs. Now Hawks was getting forceful. “Why not? I can smell how aroused you are down there. You want it too, you can’t deny that, birdie. What’s holdin’ you back from letting me fuck you so fuckin’ hard against my couch, huh?” His question was poisonous, daring you to say one word of rejection before he would pounce on you and infect your body with his lust. You shifted under his harsh pressure, squeezing your arms tighter against you. “I... I don’t know...“

“Then stop resisting, and be a good girl. Wouldn’t want me to punish you, right?” His thumb lightly ran over your bottom lip, ever so slightly pushing your top lip up to hook his thumb in your cheek. You swallowed and obediently parted your teeth and lips to suck on his thumb, succumbing to your arousal and his persistent advances. “Awah, there’s my good girl.” Hawks lightly smacked your cheek with his other hand, growling lowly as the tent in his pants grew. He pulled his thumb from your mouth, smearing your saliva back onto your lips before palming his erection. “Mmff... C’mere baby girl, come gimme a kiss real quick, huh?”

You shakily stood, legs almost giving out from the amount of heat swimming around your head. You leaned down, obediently kissing your boss’s lips sweetly before he pulled away to snap out your next order with authority. “Strip. Now.” His deep gravely growl sparked an unknown fire inside your heart to please. You’d always been somewhat of a people pleaser, and right now, you wanted to please the fuck out of Hawks. You stood from the floor, staring straight into his eyes while you unzipped your hero costume, the sound exciting the pro more. His lip caught between his teeth, eyelids hooding over his gorgeously animalistic golden eyes. He groped and grabbed at himself, groaning lowly when you started to slip the material off your shoulders and down your waist, revealing your lovely clothed breasts to him. “Fuck, birdie. You’re so fucking gorgeous, damn.”

Once you had unzipped it all the way, you peeled it off your body, showing him inch by inch of your smooth plush skin. He watched carefully as your feet slipped from the last parts of the costume, excitedly watching you reach behind yourself to unclip your bra. “There ya go, birdie. Gimme more.” The fabric slid off your shoulders, nipples hardening at the cool air hitting them. It didn’t help that Hawks wings beat aggressively at the mere sight of your breasts in front of his avian eyes. His jaw clenched harshly, his palm crushing harder onto his hard cock, aching for some sort of relief from the tightness. “Oh fuck, C’mere love bird.”

He roughly grabbed you and yanked your panties off with one harsh jerk, shamefully making you wetter at his roughness. His hands shakily shuffled to push his pants down to his knees, instantly attaching up to your hips and pulling you onto his thigh. Hawks attacked your lips once again, rubbing his hands up and down your sides before harshly pulling you back and forth against his muscular thigh. Your nimble fingers tangled into his messy golden hair, your head tilting back in ecstasy at the amazing friction of his thigh on your sopping cunt. “Mmm... so wet for me, you like ridin’ my thigh? Yeah? You like me shovin’ you back and forth, grindin’ my thigh against your cute little pussy, achin’ to be filled by my fat cock. Ain’t that right?”

“Yes, ahhh... mhm! F-Feels good, sir...” His hands smushed your cheeks together, forcefully bringing your face towards him and sloppily kissing you. A deep groan went into your mouth while his tongue worked wonders to your own mouth. Your hands slowly slid up his other thigh, resting your thumb on the underside of his clothed cock. It was so warm, and hard, you couldn’t help but let your eyes roll back into your skull as you imaged how good it’d feel inside. “You want it? Tell me...” He leaned close to your ear, groaning deeply at how good your sweet pussy felt against his thigh, slick with your arousal all for him. He breathed huskily in your ear, nudging his cheek against yours. “Tell me how fucking bad you want it.”

“I... I want it, Hawks... I want it... s-so badly, sir...” He chuckled against your ear, the vibrations of his deep voice sending goosebumps down your spine. His semi-large warm hands pressed you harder down on his muscular thighs, his thumb coming down to rub harshly on your clit. “What is it you want, baby girl? What d’you want? I won’t know unless you tell your hero properly.” The egotistical smirk returned, his teeth peeking from between his soft pink lips, teasing you. He pulled you close to him, slamming your lips together against for another passionate sloppy kiss before he yanked you away with your hair. “Say it, right fuckin’ now.”

“I-I want your... f-fat cock Hawks...” He pondered for a moment if he even wanted to accept. He snaps his fingers unexpectedly and points to the floor. Immediately understanding what he wanted, you got on your knees between his legs, staring lewdly at the bulge in his boxers, mouth already salivating at the thought of pleasing him and hearing praise. “You’ll take it in your mouth first, right? Make it all nice ‘n wet for that slippery pussy.” His dirty words had a sinful effect on you, urging you and plaguing your mind to try harder. Your hands moved up his thighs, his warm skin making your body all the more hot. “Y-Yes sir, anything for you...” Once your finger tips met fabric you slid your pads over his raging hard on, slowly hooking over the hem of his boxers, pulling them down slowly.

Your face lit up in embarrassment once he was displayed all for you. His cock sprang free from its confines, lightly hitting his abdomen as small pearls of his sweet pre cum oozed from the tip. His wings fluffed up at the chilling air sweeping over his steamy cock. “Well? What’re you waitin’ for baby girl? Go on and suck your hero’s cock.” You could practically hear his grin, his cockiness shining through his lack of embarrassment to hide himself. He knew he looked good, Hawks was very attractive, but he was also well equipped down under all his baggy clothes. You carefully leaned forward, anxiety shooting through your veins as you gave his ruby red tip a kitten lick. “C’mon birdie, you can do better than that can’tcha? I thought you wanted to be a better sidekick. Guess I was wro- Oh fuck!”

You didn’t let him finish before you grabbed the base a little firmly and took him into your mouth, teeth slightly grazing his cock. “N-No teeth baby! Ahah fuck! Your mouth is so fuckin’ warm baby girl... you damn slut.” Your eyes instinctively squeezed shut hearing his degrading comments. It made you ashamed how much he turned you on. You were dripping and aching to be filled by his hard cock, but you also loved the passionate fore play. “Yeah, suck my cock harder, yeah birdie oh fuck yeah!” His hands shifted through your hair, messing it up in the process. You obeyed him, turning your head to the side and taking him in deeper. Inch, by inch, his steamy cock disappeared into your hot mouth. His head threw back momentarily at your harsh sucks, mouth gaping and panting loudly. “Ahgh! Yeah! Just like that, just like that, oohhoo fuck...”

Drops of pearly pre cum smeared over your tongue and the back of your throat, the sweet taste making everything hazy. His tip grazed your uvula, making you slightly gag, but you forced it down, taking his cock all the way down till your nose bumped against his pubic bone. His musky smell only became more clear, your nose buried in his curly blonde pubes, chin brushing briefly against his plumply perfect balls, full of potent cum to knock up fertile little birds like you. His hands suddenly fisted your hair into a tight grip, pulling you back and then back down, a gagging sound resonating in your throat. “I’m almost there...! Shit!” He jerked your head back and forth, tears prickling at the sides of your eyes. He threw his head back, growling through grit teeth as his dick twitched inside. “Cumming! Fuck!”

He shoved your face flush against his crotch, salty spurts of white shooting to the back of your throat. His head hung low quickly, panting and rasping out a few curses. Your eyes fluttered open, a few stray tears falling when you go to look up at him. His sexy golden eyes are squeezed shut, his lip caught between his pearly white teeth, cheeks flushed a soft pink with some sweat trickling down the side of his head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ahh... good girl... so good baby... mmngh.” He slowly opened his eyes, pupils blown up with lust and need. His feathery blonde hair a mess in front of your face stuffed with his cock. He wiped your tears away and pushed your forehead back slowly, groaning as he watched his cum drip down the side of your chin. “Yeah, birdie. Swallow it, swallow all of my sweet nectar. It’s all for you, ya know?”

You sucked on his tip once he got that far pulling it out of your mouth, milking the last bits of cum from his slippery cock. Your tongue moved around the thick liquid, squishing it and mixing it with your own saliva before you shakily swallowed, shivering at the thought of swallowing the number two pro hero’s cum. A low cough burned your throat the moment it struggled to go down your throat, amusing the man above you. “Such a good girl... you deserve a reward don’tcha think? Well, it just so happens I know just the thing to give ya. On the couch, birdie.” You nodded. He pat the couch, smirking smugly when you obediently got on the couch and laid on your back. He quickly stepped out of his underwear, leaving him now completely naked just like you. “Feet on my shoulders, now love bird.”

“H-Hawks what’re you gonna do? I-I’m not ready for that...” You were under the sole impression he was going to stick his cock in you right now, raw, without any preparation or anything. You were happily mistaken. He chuckled, animal-like eyes staring straight into yours while his lips moved from the inside of your knee caps down to your inner thighs. “Oho no, baby girl. I told you I’d reward you didn’ I? And ‘m gonna do just that... by eating out this sloppy pussy of yours.” Without another word, he pushed your legs apart and gave your most private parts a lick with the flat of his tongue. Your back arched, hands flying to the couch to grip onto the expensive leather. “Ahh! Hawks! Wait-!”

“No time for waitin’ birdie, now that I’ve got a taste I want more.” He growled out the last word with a snarl of his lips, sharp canines showing themselves to you as he dove right back in. He gave your wet lips a few kisses, licking small circles with the tip of his tongue, tasting your sweet love juice. “Mmm! Hawks! Stop teasing me you a-assho- Oh! Mm, yes!” Your head unexpectedly lulled backwards, toes curling once he pushed his tongue inside your sopping cunt. Wet and lewd noises came from below you, slurping sounds coming occasionally as Hawks ate you out so good. His teeth mashed against your folds as his tongue pushed deeper inside, sucking your tasty arousal into his mouth. His stubble slightly grazed your pussy, making you squirm.

“Ahh, Hawks, Hawks ngh! It feels so good...!” Your sweet moans spurred him on, his nose bumping against your clit as he ate you out so damn good. His tongue was like magic, your thighs were becoming all the more hot with his large hands pushing them apart. “Mmff~ yeah birdie, keep lettin’ out all those sexy noises. Moan out my name, better yet, scream it. Let everyone know who’s gonna fuck you real nice, and that you’re my birdie. Fuck you taste so damn good.” He growled against your pussy, becoming more ferocious and desperate to taste your cum. Your hands shook harshly against the leather couch, breathing heavy and ragged as the knot in your stomach came close to snapping. “Hawks I’m cumming! Oh god I’m going to cum...! S-So hard, Ahh!”

“Yeah baby, cum on my face! Fuck I want it! Cum for me, oh fuck cum for your hero!” He seemed just as desperate as you are for you to cum. He wanted to taste all your sweet arousal for him, to pride himself in making you cum from his tongue. His thumb harshly pressed and rubbed against your clit, the bundle of nerves making your body twitch in ecstasy. The coil finally snapped, throwing your head back and cumming on his face. “Hawks! Mmm! Hah!” His hot hands grabbed your hips, smushing his face further between your legs, tongue fucking you through your blissful orgasm. Your eyes caught sight of his massive red wings beating weakly and twitching ever so slightly. “Mm, fuck, baby girl, you taste amazing. I can see myself becoming addicted to you... good thing you’re about to be mine~”

He pulled his face away with his lips dripping with your sweet juices, some smeared on his pink cheeks. He clambered on top of you, kissing you passionately, his hands coming to rest against your face in comfort. His tongue weaved it’s way through your swollen lips, letting you have a taste of yourself. He pulled away briefly to pant and stare down at your dripping sensitive pussy while he pushed his fingers in. “Gotta stretch you out the right way, yeah? Gotta make sure your cute little pussy is ready for my fat cock.” He panted softly against the top of your breasts, his hair in your face as he intently watched his fingers disappear. He could feel the ridges of your fluttering walls, the sloppy mess of his saliva and your cum inside making his wings shiver.

“Hawks, wait! It’s s-sensitive! Mm!” His fingers thrust into your core faster, making wet squelching noises while his other hand rubbed against your clit again. He spread his two fingers, stretching out your walls to prepare you for his big cock. “Stop! I’m gonna cum again! I’m-!” He pulled his fingers out quickly and brought his fingers up to his mouth, sucking away your juices before grabbing your hips and yanking you towards his lower half. He growled lowly, his lips now grazing against your ear, his hips rutting against yours, rubbing his already hard cock against your folds. “I want you to cum on my cock... crying out my name, grabbin’ at me and beggin’ me to let you cum... so fucking hard.”

“Y-Yes, Hawks...” You whispered obediently.

“Keigo.” He corrected softly.

“Huh...?” You asked in confusion. His smile turned sad and he pecked your lips, wings coming to cover the both of you. It was his way of telling you and reassuring himself that you were both safe with each other. “It’s... my real name. Keigo Takami. And you can’t tell anyone, okay? Only you can know. I trust you, (Y/N).” There was no ‘baby girl’ ‘birdie’ or any other nickname he’d given you, just your first name, displaying his seriousness. You parted your lips to test his name on your tongue. “Keigo...” You smiled a little, heart warming at the amount of trust Hawks—Keigo had in you. His cheeks darkened with a flustered smile. It was clear that it’s been a while since anyone had ever said his real name. “Yeah baby, feels good hearin’ you say it. Say it s’more.”

“Keigo Takami.”

“Again.”

“Keigo Takami.”

“Fuck, I love you.” He attacked your lips again, not giving you any time to process or respond to his confession of love to you. It had to be a spur of the moment thing. There wasn’t any way in hell he loved you. Your brain barely registered what he had even said when you felt something hot, wet, and hard brush against your entrance. Your fingers ran up his arms, grasping onto his shoulders before he pushed himself in slowly. He parted his lips away to moan in unison with you, panting lightly against your face as he struggled to contain himself. “So damn t-tight... feels so good, fuck.” The hero’s blunt nails dig harshly into the leather couch, his teeth coming to rest in his lower lip, trying his hardest to resist fucking you as hard as he could right now. He need to make this moment memorable. The first time you had sex with him.

“Keigo it’s... it’s so hot... ahh, I-it’s still going!” You hook your arms under his and pull him closer, his own arms collapsing beside you to have his elbows near your head. His golden eyes focused on your lewd expression, drinking in every detail with his sharp avian eyes. “Almost there, love bird, almost there. Fuck, you look so damn sexy gettin’ stuffed with my cock, hah~ Do you like it? You like my cock slowly goin’ inside you baby?” Your head nods eagerly, blunt nails digging crescents into the hero’s back. Finally he stopped his hips, panting against your face as his golden eyes searched for any signs of wanting to back out. When he saw none, he let out a breathy chuckle. “Damn, you really are a slut... I wonder, if you were Endeavors sidekick, would you let him do this to you?”

“H-Huh? N-no- mmm! Keigo!” He pulled out and slammed it back in unexpectedly, the sound of leather being scrunched in his palms echoing beside your ear. Your passionate hero slammed his hips against yours, harsh pants beside your ear with a sliver of a groan. “L-Liar... hah, you’d let... anyone do this to you wouldn’t you? You just want a big... fat cock buried inside you! Ain’t that r-right, love bird?” Your hands were clawing at his back, desperate for something to hold onto so you wouldn’t be forced away from him. It definitely helped him slam his cock deeper inside. Your head frantically shook, hands shifting to run through his hair and to touch his face, trying to stare into his golden eyes. “N-No Keigo! Mmm! I only want you! Please! Ahh!”

“Yeah, yeah that’s right baby, you’re fucking mine! All mine to... tease and p-please all I want! Yeah? Yeah?! Ohhh yes baby, yes.” The air around you was becoming thick, a steamy tension that you could probably cut with a knife. Your eyes were already rolling back into your skull at all of the blissfully sinful stuff Keigo was doing to you. He was hitting all the right places, the rigid movements of his cock making you go wild. Keigo was soaking in all of your lewd moans and cries of his real name, loving the way your body ached to keep him close. “Such a good girl. What a good, ahhh... sidekick you are, hmm? Lettin’ your favorite hero... shove his cock inside you like this. Ahh, hah, yeah... so good.”

He slowed the rolling of his hips to a steady, deep pace. He would pull out only to push harshly back inside until his balls painfully pressed against your curvy ass. Keigo watched your body shudder harshly under him, smirking as his teeth grit together attempting to push his cock deeper inside. His slicked up cock head met the opening of your cervix, a moan slipping past him once he felt the entrance to your fertile womb. “Ooohhh fuck. Baby you’re driving me fuckin’ wild!” He leaned over your head, his breath gently hitting your face before he sucked in a breath and smashed his lips against yours in a fiery passion. He moved his hips up and down, the friction of his skin on yours burning your sore thighs more than they already were. “Mmm, K-Kei-... go~”

The call of his name between sloppy kisses urged him to pull out only to thrust back inside a bit more shallower. His lips parted from yours and he began to kiss your neck while he picked up his pace. Hickeys soon blossomed over your neck, indicating you were his. The large red wings on his back were twitching and flapping in tension. Smaller feathers fell to the floor as they shook loose from his avian limbs. Your breasts bounced with every thrust he made inside, slowly jerking your body up and down the leather. The couch weakly moaned at the weight and rapid movement of the hero’s hips. “Mmm, do you hear that? Hah... the wet sloshing of your p-pussy... gettin’ fucked by my cock so deep...”

“Yes... yes I hear it! Oh, Keigo!” He continued, slamming inside of you aggressively and possessively, making it his soul goal to make you cum all over his hard cock. His wings were twitching and spreading wider, flapping harder as he neared his climax. Papers went flying as his wings knocked them off the coffee table, a couple nick nacks tumbling to the floor. “Tell me, mmm! How good of a sidekick you are... how good It feels being pumped full of cock... ngh, fuck! And how much you need me! C’mon birdie say it!” His hips were beginning to falter and become clumsy and organized, his moans getting louder. You were beginning to feel a tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach, walls clenching around his cock.

“Keigo! I’m a good sidekick! It-! It feels so-! Ahhh! Feels so good inside! I need you so bad! Oh fuck! ’m gonna cum!” He moaned deeply into your face, biceps shuttering beside you as his muscles began to tighten with tension. He fucked through your tightness, moaning uncontrollably and babbling about how close he was. “I’m close, oh fuck I’m close. I’m so close. You’re m-milking my cock so fucking good! Yeah, mmm! Milk my cock! Squeeze every... bit of my cum out! Y-Yeah? C’mon baby! Cum for me!” It didn’t take much more before you were clawing at his back with your thighs trembling, toes curling wildly. Your head threw back, back arching with a very loud shout of ecstasy as you came all over his warm cock. “OH GOD! KEIGO!”

“Yes, yes, fuck, yeah, yeah, yeah, FUCK! Oh shit! I’m cum- NGH!” Keigo’s wings shot towards the ceiling, sharp feathers scattered and flying away as he lost control of his body, mind hazy and incapable of controlling his quirk fully. He sheathed his hips inside, gooey head smushing against your cervix to give you his potent seed. His mouth hung open with stuttering raspy gasps and pants. “I love you, I love you so much, love bird.” He weakly rolled his hips back into yours, cum soaked balls pattering against your ass softly. With his cum pathetically fucked back into your pussy, he pulled out and sat up on his haunches, staring down at the mess you both made. “F-Fuuuuck... that was... amazing, birdie. You’re the best sidekick in the world... you know that? Spoilin’ me like this.”

“Sh-Shut... up you winged... bastard.” You panted between your uneven breaths, trying to calm your racing heart and staggered breathing. The air was still thick around you both, the smell of sex still evident. There was worry swirling around your head at what had just happened. Your first thought was to go home, clean up, and buy some plan B since the bird brain had mindlessly came inside you. But that wasn’t the biggest concern. What was Keigo going to do now that he had gotten what he wanted? He’d manipulated you into having sex with him, praising you like a lover would. You couldn’t help but wonder if all of this was just some game to get into your pants. What you didn’t know was that he was waiting for a response to his confession. Now, he needed to confront you. “What’s with the look, love bird? You seem stressed. Regretting sleepin’ with me? You don’t have to be afraid of tellin’ me how you feel! I know it’s intimidating but no need to be afraid.”

“Keig- I-I mean Hawks...” He felt a pang in his heart at the way you corrected yourself from his real name, something he trusted you with. He didn’t regret what he’d done, but this was not the outcome he was expecting. In his slightly delusional thoughts, he figured you would’ve fallen in love with him the moment you kissed. His poor ego would be his downfall. “I don’t know what you were trying to gain from this... well, this wasn’t entirely your fault, I gave in, and I shouldn’t have done that. You’re my boss. And-“ Now he was getting frustrated and impatient. Of course that’s what you thought. He did use his authority and manipulative nature to weave his way into your pants and sprout insecurities and worries within you. “Enough with that already. Who cares if I’m your boss, I thought I’d made it pretty clear I have feelings for you.”

“But- But-“

“And you wouldn’t have slept with me if you actually hated me that much. There’s still a lot you don’t know about me, but I’d be glad to enlighten you.” His golden eyes were becoming more intense and steely, dangerously glinting in a threatening way. If you wouldn’t willingly love him, he would manipulate his way to your heart, exploit you and make sure you believed you love him. Cause if you believed you did, he knew you would eventually love him for real. “Don’t you want to know the secrets of your favorite hero? You wanted to be special? Wanted to rise in the world of being a hero? Let’s face the reality here, you fear of not being successful.”

He was right, and he was slowly breaking you down.

“I’ve done so much for you, (Y/N). So damn much. I think I’ve sacrificed a lot of my time and efforts to try and make you better.” His hands ran over your cheek, slowly trailing his hand down and over your breasts causing your breath to hitch. You were frozen into place as his perfected behavior settled in your heart, churning your stomach. “You’re nice, ya know? A little too nice sometimes. But I think I deserve a little more of a reward for bein’ such a good hero and mentor.” Tears welled in your eyes, a stray salty streak coming down and slipping down your neck. He smirked and leaned down, licking up your neck and your cheek until he kissed your eye softly. “And what I want... is for you to be mine, and love me just as much as I love you.”

So you had heard it right, he loved you.

“I know you want to be successful love bird, and I know all you wanted was to fight beside me. But... I want more than that.” He gave you a lob sided pure smile of his. It wasn’t one of his fake public smiles, a real genuine one. You slowly looked away from him, biting your lip as he continued to shower you with how much he wanted you. “C’mon, just admit it. Tell me you’ll be mine, love bird. You’ll be mine, and we’ll be unstoppable together. We’ll make my dream come true. That way... we can experience a world of peace together.” He was talking from his heart. You didn’t know it, but after being trapped by the commission, he desperately wanted to be free so he could fly without a care in the world. He wasn’t done yet though, he still needed to complete his ultimate mission. And he wanted you beside him the whole way. “Say it.” He pressured passively.

“I... I’ll be yours Keigo...” He chuckled in response.

“Such a Good Sidekick.”

[xwing-baby]

Impulse: Aberration (Javier Peña x Reader)

Summary: Top of your class, the DEA have sent you to Colombia to be the poster child for their new ‘placement program’. You’re thrown in at the deep end into the drug war. With Agent Peña as your mentor, what could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: 18+ SMUT!!! Details of torture, description of injury, blood, murder, discussions of death, alcohol, penetrative sex, hurt/comfort, Javi has one one to deal with big emotions and thats it.

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: Aberration: a departure from what is normal, usual, or expected, typically an unwelcome one.

<-- Previous Chapter  // Masterlist //  Next Chapter -->

---

Everything had felt off about this raid since the beginning. You had put the feeling down to nerves, it would be the first raid you were involved in that was outside the city limits, four hours outside the city into the jungle. A friend of Javier’s had gone missing a week ago, her ties to the cartels meant her abduction was important. As soon as a call came in mentioning her name and a possible location, Carrillo and Peña were immediately on it despite hesitation from you and Murphy. You never trusted calls from anonymous callers, especially ones calling a group of police into the jungle where nobody could find their bodies were it to go south.

You went along, not wanting to miss out on a trip into the jungle. Three months in the country and you had barely stepped outside the streets of Bogota or Medellin. Summer was coming fast, the humidity once you got under the canopy was immense. With a Kevlar tact vest on top it made for an entirely uncomfortable situation and made everyone more irritable before anything had even gone wrong.

The raid was a complete bust. A trap. If it wasn’t for Carrillo’s forward thinking in bringing twice as many men as usual, you wouldn’t have made it out alive. It was messy, more damage was done than necessary and the gains were pitiful. You didn’t find the girl or anything of interest, just more dead bodies. It was a setup, by the time you drove all the way back into Medellin whatever they had needed you out for would have happened. 

It had taken all day to get out there, for nothing. Exhausted and frustrated, you walked back to the truck. Javier was pissed. You had been so sure she would be here you’d even grabbed some spare clothes from your locker for her so she could wear something clean on the drive back. But she wasn’t here. 

You opened the door and went to climb up when you noticed Javier talking to one of the soldiers. You couldn’t hear what was said over the noise of engines but you quickly realised something was up when Javi began to walk back towards the house you’d just come from. You shut the truck door and jogged to catch up with him.

“Javi! What are you doing?” You called after him, “We’re done here,” Javi didn’t stop walking.

“You’re done. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow,” He said, a new determination that he hadn’t had before was set in his eyes that only made you more suspicious. He started to walk away from you again.

“Peña! What is going on?” You grabbed his arm and stopped him walking away any further. He glared at you, jaw clenching. He pulled his arm out of your grip harshly and started walking away again. Then it dawned on you. “They found her?”

“Carrillo’s got the asshole who took her. You’re going to get in the truck and go back to the city. This is nothing to do with you,” 

“I’m not done until you are, Peña,” You insisted.

“You’re so fucking stubborn,” He spat.

“Learnt from the best,” You smiled sarcastically. He sighed, ran his hands over his face. You waited for an answer, one hand on your hip, impatient.

“You know what? Fuck it! Come with me,” He exclaimed, “You want to see the real shit? Fucking come with me now. Don’t talk, don’t fucking breathe unless your told,”

You gulped down any rebuttal and nodded, shocked by his outburst. He turned around and began walking, you quickly followed behind.

You wished you had just done as you were told. Had listened for once. You had never regretted something so quickly in your life. 

Carrillo had found the missing girl's body in a ditch at the back of the ranch, alongside her panicking murderer. Caught red handed, he had only survived a short chase before being captured. Carrillo and Peña had known the girl for a long time, this was personal. 

He dragged the man inside, hands tied behind his back on a chair. All remaining soldiers had been sent back to the city, as you should have too. Carrillo had done a number on the man before you entered. Welts had grown on his face, blood dripping from his mouth. The man in the chair smirked as you and Pena entered, a gargled chuckle slipping from his lips.

You had to remain calm and collected, like the sight of Carrillo looming behind a bloodied man didn’t send shivers down your spine. You had asked to come after all.

You stood in the corner of the room; arms crossed over your chest trying to look intimidating. Not that you needed to be, the two men did that well enough on their own. Peña stayed with you on the side-lines for a short while, watching Carrillo take the man apart. Peña asked questions, his voice heavy and loud, booming against the walls of the empty house. The man didn’t answer, laughing at them for thinking he would break. Eventually Javier lost all patience and joined Carrillo in torturing the victim. 

You had heard of Carrillo’s more uncivilised methods; you had seen the aftermath left on his clothes before. It was scary to watch but nothing matched the fear Javier instilled in you. You had never seen him so angry, almost unrecognisable as he stalked around the man barking questions at him. He screamed at the man’s insolence until he was red in the face. You were terrified, fear pulsing through you. You were stuck the wall and had to force your eyes away as a resounding crack echoed through the room as a hammer met the man’s hand.

Vengeance spurred the men on to no end. You stood and watched them force information out of the man. Every punch, every cry, every word spat at the man chipped away at you. You had prided yourself on being unshakable. You weren’t scared of anything. But being trapped in a room with two men fully capable and willing to kill you, shook you. Not to mention the horror they were producing in front of your very eyes. 

It was pointless. Entirely gratuitous. The man was incapable of speaking, his jaw broken already. They weren’t going to get anything else from him but they continued until even his sobs of pain were quiet. Tears prick your eyes and you bit your tongue, not daring to make a sound. You looked up for a second and locked eyes with the dying man. Blood covered his face, jaw cracked and hanging loosely in his skin. His body twitched, lying limp against the restraints. It was worse than any horror shows you’d ever seen, but you couldn’t look away either. You knew he’d done terrible things, a trafficker of people and drugs; he’d murdered the men’s friend and yet you found yourself thinking he deserved better than this. 

A gunshot went off suddenly, making you jump and turn away quickly. Blood splattered onto the floor and onto your shoes making you jump out the way. It was over. 

Stepping back into the sunlight your head felt full of cotton. So impossibly loud with thoughts but with no room to breathe. You wanted to scream; let all the horror you had seen out. But you couldn’t. 

Carrillo and Javier rinsed their hands under a tap outside, red tinged water stained the earth below. You scuffed your shoes in the dirt hoping it would hide the blood until you could clean them or throw them out entirely. You kept your distance from them, arms wrapping around your chest to self-comfort. The two men muttered to each other, Javi catching your eye for a second. You couldn’t look at him, averting your eyes you didn’t see the remorse in them.

You should never have seen that. Not so soon. You wondered how often Javier had done that, he didn’t seem phased at all. Nobody did. You felt a little childish for getting upset, for reacting like a normal person, so stayed silent.

Two men came and collected the body from the house, throwing it into the ditch they had found the girl's body. Wild animals would take care of the rest. Once it was done, you cleared out. You silently followed Javier back to the truck. You were hesitant to be alone with him, the savagery of his actions settled in now. You sat in the passenger seat, shaking. You refused to even look at him, keeping your eyes on your lap, picking out the dirt from under your nails to distract yourself.

Javier didn’t know what to say to you. He’d regretted the decision to let you come along almost immediately. He’d shocked himself with his own depravity, Helena had meant a lot to him and Carrillo too. In that room something overtook him, he’d forgotten you were there until the bullet went in the bastard and he came back to reality.

Now you sat next to him, shaking, and trying not to cry. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut. He drove for an hour before it became unbearable. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. A stupid question, obviously you weren’t but he didn’t know what else to say. You had asked to come with him, it wasn’t entirely his fault. He couldn’t apologise for what had happened. He just wanted you to talk to him. 

Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to find words. You didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to show weakness but you couldn’t hold it together any longer.

“You can’t do that Javi! Y-you can’t do that to people!” You cried. Tears spilled as the words tumbled out your mouth and you sobbed, overtaken by emotion. It broke Javier’s heart. “How could you do that?”

Javier sighed heavily and shook his head. He should have expected it would end like this. He had no answer for you. His silence made you quiet again. You turned away from him in your seat, watching the jungle faze out again into green hills and cattle ranches. Frustrated, Javi switched the radio on to fill the silence.

You didn’t speak again for the rest of the journey. Four hours of driving stewing over your own thoughts. You wanted nothing more than to go to bed, curl up under the cover and pray that it was all some horrible nightmare, or some premonition. You could wake up, redo the day, and know not to go back there again and relive the horror.

Javier wasn’t sure what to do, this was the first low you’d hit. A big one at that. As if he wasn’t upset already about the brutal death of his friend, guilt was now eating him alive. He shouldn’t have ever allowed you to come, should have left you at base with Steve. You had to be stubborn. You had to be defiant. All day you had been getting on his nerves, the mission went badly and he was so angry your final pestering made him snap. He didn’t have the patience or the foresight, when the intensity of a situation overtook him it was all he cared about. He didn’t think about the consequences of his actions beyond revenge for Helena. This was yet another reminder of how badly the job of being your mentor was suited to him.

Finally, he parked the truck in the garage and followed you up to the apartments. Your cheeks were stained with tears, you shuffled inside obviously in your head and upset. Javi wouldn’t let you go just yet. 

“Rookie come and have a drink,” He said, breaking the hours of silence. He unlocked his door and pushed it open with one hand.

“I’m going to bed,” You replied quietly, already walking up the stairs to your apartment.

“It wasn’t a question,” He said firmly. You stopped on the stairs and sighed, not bothering to fight him anymore you turned around and ducked under his arm and into his apartment. 

Javier’s apartment was very similar to yours only bigger. Everything was practically in the same place bar the surprising amount of crap dotted around. You always assumed Javi just didn’t care enough about his living space to keep anything more than he needed. Ten years in Colombia had meant he had collected a lot of random things, there was no real organisation to it at all- bottles on a bar cart with glasses haphazardly stacked higher than was safe, books squashed onto a shelf all covered in dust. There was a small photo of some smiling people, his family you assumed, hung on the wall.

He bought out two beers, passed one to you and offered a seat couch to you. You sat down on the edge; Javier relaxed into the other side. With your mind still spinning, you didn’t want to drink. You awkwardly picked at the paper label, losing yourself in images of brutality playing in your head..

Javi didn’t really know what to do now. He wasn’t one for talking things out; he had hoped you would want to. He knew how he wanted to work it out, how he usually got through moments like this but he couldn’t think about that now. Javi felt it was his duty to help you, but he didn’t know how just yet. He watched you lost in your thoughts, gears visibly turning in your head. Finally, you gave in, collapsing backwards on the leather couch and sighing heavily. 

“I’m sorry Javi, you must be tired of me arguing with you all the time. I didn’t want to see that, you were right not to let me,” You said, finally turning your head to look at him. In the low light of his apartment tear streaks glowed on your skin. “I don’t know what I expected,” you laughed humorlessly. Javi shrugged and sipped the beer in his hand. 

“It gets easier,” 

“That’s horrible,” you replied sadly. 

Javi hadn’t thought much on the subject- it was best not to. He’d become entirely desensitised working down here and hadn’t noticed at all. It seemed like normal. Surely everyone knew what bones sounded like smashed under hammers, everyone knew the gurgle and hum of the last breath as someone choked on their own blood. But they didn’t. 

“I guess so,” He shrugged.

“I’ve never seen someone die before,” You said after a moment of silence. “I’ve shot people but they didn’t die. Or I didn’t see it if they did. It’s a lot less dramatic than I thought. It’s just... over,”

“First time I saw it was back in Texas,” Javi said, “Couldn’t have been much older than you, watched him bleed out on the side of the road,”

“What happened?” You asked. 

“Kid was caught with some weed, ran into the highway and got hit by a semi before we could catch up,” You saw his eyes glaze over for a moment as he remembered before he shook his head and looked up again.

“That’s rough,”

“Like I said, you get used to it,”

You sat quietly drinking together for a few moments, neither you or Javi knew what to say. 

The mixture of anguish and alcohol was not good. You could feel yourself heating up just looking at him. The thought of touching him, losing yourself in him, taking your mind off the tragedy of the day, was intoxicating. If you stayed any longer you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself going for it. You could go upstairs, cry into your pillow and hope your hand would do a good job releasing the pent up energy in you. Javi set his beer down on the floor and turned to you again, eyes wandering obviously over you as you sat opposite. You could feel your self control slipping.

You stood up quickly, Javi watched you curiously. A sudden wave of need overcame him at the thought of having to spend the rest of the night alone. It shocked him. Urgently, he grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks before you could announce your departure. You looked down at him, his eyes were wide and shining in the light as if he was trying not to cry. Locking eyes with him you knew what was about to happen, there was no escaping it anymore. In an instant he pulled you sharply down onto the couch and into his lap.

The kiss was desperate and messy. Javi moaned into your mouth, relief flooding his body as you kissed him back. A voice in his head told him to stop, but he couldn’t. Grief, remorse, and lust had taken over entirely. He needed a release, wanted to show just how sorry he was for what he had done. He shouldn’t be kissing you, shouldn’t be pushing your hips onto his, but he wanted to escape.

You needed it just as badly as him. You clung to Javi, grounding yourself in his touch. If he held you, he couldn’t hurt you, couldn’t scare you again. Your hands came to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal warm skin underneath. He helped you, throwing the item away before he pulled your shirt over your head and joined his shirt on the floor. 

You explored the new territory enthusiastically, feeling his strength beneath your hands as you kissed him. You pulled on his hair at the nape of his neck as his tongue explored you mouth making him moan again. He was much more vocal than you expected, each time it made your pussy flutter in anticipation.

Javi kissed you quickly, moving down your jaw to your neck and mouthing over the exposed skin above your bra. He didn’t move to take it off, just enjoying your taste. You bucked your hips sharply into his growing bulge, making him hiss and bite you. You whined, wanting him to do something and stop teasing you. 

“Have you got-?” You asked quickly. There was no need to pretend like you didn’t know what you both wanted now. 

“In the drawer,” He pointed at the side table next to the other couch. Part of you wanted to make a joke about his apartment being covered in condoms but now wasn’t the time. 

You stood up out of his lap and over to the drawer, pulling out a package and throwing it at Javi. He’d taken off his pants in the time you were away. He watched you with hungry eyes, stroking his cock idly watching you. Overcome by need, you shoved your pants off leaving them on the floor before scrambled into his lap again.

He kissed you quickly, chased kisses down your jaw and neck. Your mind wandered, remembering for a moment the blood and screams, the fear Javi had put in you watching him torture that man. The same hands you had watched drip with another man's blood were now groping your ass. You screwed your eyes shut, pushing out the thoughts and slowly sank onto his hard cock. 

Javi sighed, biting his lip to stop himself saying something stupid. You felt amazing around him, warm and wet. All doubt he had before left him entirely, he was consumed by you. He nearly lost his mind entirely at the pathetic noise you made when he shifted you up slightly. All his focus went on you. 

“Lo siento, hermosa,” Javi mumbled as he kissed your neck. You only nodded, whimpering as you circled your hips around. Javi’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, cursing your name. You were far too good at that. “Again,” He panted, you complied and drew another moan from his lips.

Neither you nor Javi would last long, but that wasn’t what this was about. It was taken what you needed from each other, affirmation of life and trust. His head rested in your chest, lips kissing your sweaty skin as you ground onto his cock. His hands held you close, heavy on your back as you moved above him. You moved faster now, long strokes of your hips up and down over his cock. Gasping breaths and the slap of skin on skin filled the room as you and Javi lost yourselves in each other.

Your legs began to shake as you neared your high, you gasped his name. Javi shifted under you, getting leverage, and started cantering up into you, his hands holding you still. You moaned loudly as he hit a new spot that had you reeling. Javi settled back against the couch, fucking you harder and watching with delight as you fell apart. 

Your orgasm rolled over you like a tsunami wave. So good you swore your soul left your body. You cried out, pussy fluttering around Javi’s cock pulling him along with you. Javi stopped moving, pulled you close and kissed you hard, moaning into your mouth as he spilled into the condom. You bucked against him, dragging out the lasts of your high.

Finally, you stilled, coming back down to earth again. Resting your forehead on his, you giggled as endorphins took over. Javi smiled, kissed your forehead before you tilted your head to catch his lips again. The kiss was sweet, urgency gone now. He kissed you languidly, fingers brushing over your cheeks. He was calm again, all anger and frustration fizzed out in your shared orgasm.

He lifted you off his cock, you whimpered at the loss. You lay limbless on the couch, watched him pull on his pants before he disappeared into the bathroom. 

You didn’t feel anything, no worry no anger. You were on clouds. You couldn’t find it in you to worry about any of the inevitable consequences of what just happened. 

You redressed while Javi was gone, feeling a little exposed entirely naked except your bra on his couch. You laughed to yourself when you saw where your shirt had ended up, draped over a lampshade. You pulled it on, and were halfway through buttoning it up when the bathroom door opened again.

“You good?” Javi reappeared, a satisfied smile on his face. You nodded.

“Good,” You replied with a smile. “You?” He nodded and settled back on his couch, lighting a cigarette, and taking a drag. 

There was a silent understanding that nothing that had occurred today would ever be spoken about again. It was done. Apart from the bruises Javi had left on your neck, there was nothing left of any of it. You had both needed the stress relief, your trust was back and you could move forward with a clean slate. 

---

Next Chapter -->

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[hogwartsmarvelmommy]

Next Door Neighbor🔥 (H.H)

Warnings: Smut. (18+ only)

Masterlist

This was the third time this week that you heard screaming and doors slamming across the hall. You weren't trying to be nosy by any means, but the walls in the building were thin, so even when you weren't listening you could still hear everything.

He had told her at the beginning of the week that he was done, that their relationship was over, but she kept on coming back like nothing had ever happened and that is what caused all the fighting.

You peaked your head out the door and saw her storming down the hallway, cussing under her breath and moping. It was a pathetic sight honestly. The boys that lived across the hall were good people. You knew both of them from brief encounters in the hall and a few parties with some mutual friends, but nothing serious.

The door across the hall opened and Harry stepped out to see if the girl had gone, but saw you standing there.

"Sorry about the noise y/n" he said apologetically. You shook your head.

"Don't be, it seems like you're having a week," you told him, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"Yeah, that's an understatement." He muttered running his fingers through his curly red hair.

"Wanna talk about it? I have coffee, tea, or beer? Little early for beer but you look like you may need it." you offered. He looked to the end of the hall and considered the offer for a few seconds. 

"You know, a cup of tea sounds pretty nice right now" he told you, walking out of his doorway and pulling the door shut behind him. You opened up your door letting him into your cozy apartment, you were a clean freak so there was no clutter or embarrassing mess's you had to rush to clean. Just a tidy, cozy apartment. "Weird," he muttered under his breath as you stood at your stove putting on a kettle.

"What is?" You asked him.

"Oh our apartments have the same layout, yet yours is so much nicer," he laughed.

"Well I live alone, and am a girl. You and your friend are boys, so naturally you're messier," you teased.

"Brother," he corrected.

"Is he?" You asked, you thought they looked similar but didn't want to assume.

"Twin brother actually," he laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair. You noticed he did that a lot.

"That explains the similar features," you laugh as the kettle starts screaming. You go to grab it but your hand slips and you burn the tips of your fingers. "Oh fuck," you mumble pulling your hand away and grabbing your fingers. You feel Harry's hands grasp your shoulders and you look up to see him standing close behind you with a concerned look spread across his face.

"Are you OK?" He asks as he grabs your hand to inspect your fingers.

"Ahh, I'll be OK. You'd be surprised at how often this actually happens," you admit.

"Burn cream?" He asks and you motion your head towards the cupboard you have all the medicine in and quickly realize there is also a box of condoms. Unopened of course but your face still flushes a red hue as he opens the cupboard and fishes around for the cream. You hear a quiet chuckle escape his lips and you're sure he is judging you now. He turns around with the cream in his hand and motions for you to give him your hand. You feel so small in his large hands and your mind starts to wander, you shake your head to try and get the dirty ideas away from your mind. It had been months since you had been with anyone, and even at that, the night had ended horrible and you had sworn you would never sleep with a man again.

"What is it?" He asked you his own curiosity, wanting to know what you were thinking.

"Oh, it's nothing," you giggle. He looks up at your face, your eyes turned down so as not to look him in his eyes and your mouth upturned in a sweet seemingly innocent smile, but he knew you couldn't be all innocent.

"You know Durex changed their packaging about six months ago, think you may want to check the expiration on those rubbers in there," he told you, your eyes shot up to his in shock and horror.

"Oh my god," you laughed, trying to hide your complete embarrassment with humor. "Thanks, if I ever find myself using them I'll make sure to check that," you joked. His mind ran wondering if you meant you preferred sex without or maybe you were just in a dry spout, of course he was to respectful to ask, or that's what he thought, but the words came out of his mouth without a second thought. "Safe sex is good sex, you know?" He bit his check realizing how stupid that had sounded but you just giggled.

"That's why I have them dork," you say, pushing his shoulder with your unburned hand.

"Oh. OH. Sorry, that was an intrusive thing to say," he muttered while still rubbing the cream on your fingers, he could have stopped some time ago, but for some reason he just didn't want to put your hand down.

"Kind of endearing, your concern of my sex life, no matter how non-existent it may be," you laughed. He looked at you with raised eyebrows.

"Non-existent huh?" He wonders aloud finally letting Your finger go from his hands.

"Definitely non-existent," you laugh, feeling a tad sorry for yourself. He turned off the stove and moved the kettle from the burner, making the screeching slowly subside to quietness.

“So what's the story? Bad boyfriend?” He asked you. You considered giving a short answer avoiding the tragedy that had been your love life, but thought to yourself, You know what the hell.

“Last, few have just been selfish and self centered. I tried to make it work with each of them, but a girl has needs you know? I feel guys seem to forget that and once they get what they want they lose interest,” You shrug your shoulders as you walk to another cupboard grabbing two mugs and finding two tea bags. You went to grab the kettle again but harry quickly stepped in giving you a ‘here let me smile,’ before pouring the steaming water himself. 

“Do you mean in the relationship or in bed?” He asks quietly. You giggle feeling a bit odd with how open you were being.

“Both, I guess.” You say grabbing the mug and swirling the bag around the water.

“So they just got themselves off, then dipped?” He asked. He knew you didn't need to provide him with the details, but he was curious.

“Something like that. You know it's sad, I've never had an orgasm that someone else caused,” You laughed and slowly regretted opening your mouth.

“Wait seriously?” Harry was shocked at the words that had just left your mouth.

“I'm not sure why I just told you that, anyway I invited you in to talk about you, not me. So what's with that girl anyway,” you asked him trying hard to get him to forget the words you had just said.

He sighed, “She's crazy, can't take a hint, or a direct order. I broke up with her a month ago believe it or not, but she keeps showing up like nothing ever happened. I'm on the verge of getting a restraining order,” He laughed. You shook your head feeling sorry for him, knowing how crazy some people could be. He told you a bit about why the relationship had turned so toxic and how he had just had enough and had to call it quits. You guys moved from the kitchen to the living room, discussing random things and just enjoying each other's company.

“I'm sorry but I have to know,” He said, interrupting your explanation of why you chose to not have a TV in your living room.

“Huh?” you asked him, unsure of what he was asking.

“So you have never had an orgasm?” he pondered. You feel your cheeks go red but laugh at the question anyway.

“No, I've had orgasms, just by my own hand, if you get what i mean,” You tell him, sure he’ll understand exactly what you mean.

“Damn,” he sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes, “I'm not going to lie y/n that's sad and hot at the same time,” he laughs.

“Not just sad,” You laughed. You stared at Harry, who now had a wicked grin on his face, but was looking away from you. “I'm going to get a beer,” You announced getting up. You giggled at him, not knowing what to say at this point. This whole conversation had just gone everywhere and anywhere you hadn't expected.

"I bet you I could," he muttered under his breath.

"You could do what?" You asked him, unsure if he had meant for you to hear him.

"Make you orgasm," he said, this time more clearly. You felt your cheeks flush red and your stomach tighten at the thought. Harry was an attractive man. He was hot. He was also your neighbor. Things could get complicated if anything happened. They would get complicated. Was that something you were willing to deal with to please your curiosity.

You didn't have time to answer your own question before Harry was in front of you, looking down at you, standing in your kitchen.

For a second your mind shuts down. You were prepared to tell him no. That it was a terrible idea. You were. So when your hand reached out and touched Harry's cheek before leaning in with him and letting your lips touch, well let's just say your curiosity always seemed to get the best of you.

The kiss was soft and sweet, at first. You hadn't been kissed or touched in far too long and so when he pushed you up against the fridge pulling your body as close to him as possible, you felt excited, and your wet panties could show for it. Your hands were all tangled in his hair pulling him down to your hungry lips. His hands kept moving between your but and your back like he wasn't sure where he should be touching, though I don't think there was a play book for situations like this.

He broke away from your lips and grabbed you by your waist, throwing you over his shoulder.

"Harry!" You exclaimed, erupting in giggles by the motion.

"The kitchen is no place for the things I want to do to you," he smirked. You were shocked by the amount of confidence that was radiated from him, and he was determined to make you orgasm. He needed to, for his own curiosity. Once in your bedroom he placed you on your bed and pushed you down so you were laying on your back. You had on a plain black t-shirt and a pair of black shorts. He climbed into your bed, above you and began to leave soft wet kisses on your neck and down to your exposed collar bone before reaching down to the bottom of your shirt to pull it up. You sat up slightly and pulled the shirt over your head so all that was left on your torso was you see through white lace bralette. His eyes examined your boobs in awe before moving on to kissing and nibbling at them. Once his mouth reached your hardened nipples under the lace of your bra he let his teeth graze over them making a moan slip from your lips. He liked that, he moved on until his lips were at the top of your shorts and he looked at you for permission, to slide them down. You nodded slowly, thinking about how crazy this all was. He hooked his fingers in the hem of your shorts and you raise your hips as he pulls them down your legs. He grabs your knees, and pushes them apart as he lowers himself to your core. You know you're wet, from just the slight kissing and heavy petting that had happened. He runs his finger along the outside of your underwear, and looks up at you, raised eyebrows.

“All this for me princess?” He asks, and all you can do is hum in response.

He pushes your panties to the side and slides his finger between your slits, gathering all the wetness that had been building up just at the thought of him doing anything to you. He found your little bundle of nerves and started drawing little figure eights switching direction every few times, making your back arch as a loud gasp escaped your mouth.

He dipped his head down between your thighs placing small kisses on the insiders of your legs, his curly, unruly hair tickling you slightly, before replacing his fingers with his mouth. He moves his tongue around you like he is a trained expert, hitting every spot and then some. You feel his fingers return to your folds, before gently pushing one inside and curling it upwards. The feeling of having every hot spot stimulated makes you feel like your melting into the mattress, you reach out and your fingers find themselves intertwined in his curly hair, you let out a few moans and a few curses before you feel like all the tension that has built up is about to explode, And harry can tell by the tightening of your walls around his fingers.

“Come for me Y/N” He says, barely lifting his mouth away from you, and maybe that was all you needed, cause with his encouragement you feel the most intense orgasm wash over you. Harry dips his mouth back down and continues his work until you're a quivering mess.

“Dear god,” You gasp. Harry lifts himself back up and joins you on the bed, he gives you a minute to gather your soul to return it to your body before he leans in and whispers in your ear.

“I hope your ready for more, cause were nowhere near done,”

And just like that, your neighbor Harry became something so much more

[navalcriminalimagines]

NCIS x SVU. Rafael Barba x Reader, dad!Gibbs x Reader.

request: Just want to ask if you could do a crossover where dad!Gibbs first meet the boyfriend and reader is dating Barba. Or something like that?

warnings: family lost

The first meeting

Being Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ daughter isn’t easy, for many reasons. On top is how he scares the shit out off the men you date. It happened with your boyfriend when you were 18. It took you months to make official presentations. Your father figured it out pretty quickly - that’s on being a federal agent - but waited until you told him. Then he met your boyfriend, it didn’t go very well. He never wanted to hang out at your place, and later he broke up with you, because “your father scares me so bad, I’m afraid if I do something wrong, he’s gonna shot me.”

His fears were legit. When your second boyfriend broke your heart, your father threated him so bad he moved from DC. Since then, you decided to keep your love life private, and barely tell your boyfriends about your dad. “He’s a navy cop” was well enough.

But your current boyfriend figured a few things, without you telling him. He knows your mum and baby sister were killed years ago, he knows the rules you go by come from your father. He knows your father is the love of your life, but for whatever reasons, you keep it to yourself.

However, Rafael was tired of that. He introduced you to his mother and grandmother - before she passed. He asked you to move in with him months ago (to which you agreed). Now, you said yes when he asked you to marry. Maybe it’s time for your father to meet your boyfriend—fiancé, actually.

You decided to surprise your father in DC. You and Rafael barely had entered the city when he saw you taking off your engagement ring. “Do I need to glue that diamond to your finger?” He said.

You giggled. “Don’t worry, I’ll put it back on quickly. It’s just that—if I show up with it around my finger, I won’t have time to even say a word,”

“It’s going to be fine, right?” He said as he extended his hand to your knee. You intertwined your fingers with his.

“Don’t be the smart ass you’re at work and we should be good,” you smiled and shoved the ring in your pocket.

*****

There was a whole plan. You picked up your grandfather Jackson at your father’s and dropped him and Rafael at the diner your father and you always go. Rafael already met your grandfather and Jackson loves your fiancé - although he doesn’t know he proposed yet. You had no worries about them staying together for a moment. You showed up at NCIS, to find Ellie and Nick working at their desks. “Evening, people!” You shouted, scaring Ellie off.

“Y/N, stop doing that!” She said, walking over to hug you. “Didn’t know you were coming this weekend,”

“Wasn’t plan until yesterday. Hi Nick,” you hugged him too. “Where’s Jack Sloane? I wanna meet the woman that confuse dad,”

You have a group chat with the team and it’s been weeks since they are telling you about the new agent and how your father is with her. They are convinced there’s something going on, you need to see it on your own. Unfortunately she wasn’t there.

A few minutes later, your father arrived in the bullpen and he was as surprised as Ellie and Nick to see you here. “Hey baby,” he hugged you tight, “Perfect way to end this day,” he said as he kissed your hair.

“Can you leave with me?”

Gibbs gave a few instructions and left with you. In the elevator, you turned off the engine. Your father looked at you, puzzled. “Wow, I do feel powerful doing that,” you stated.

“Is it why you did it?”

“No. I need to talk to you before we leave,” Gibbs saw your serious look. He turned to the side to face you.

“I’m not here alone,” you said. “Grandpa made the trip,”

“Y/N, you know your grandfather shouldn’t drive such a long ride by himself,”

“I know and I wanted to pick him up in Steelwater. You shouldn’t be surprised he refused,”

“Am not. I’m mad you gave him a choice,”

“Dad! That’s not the point, okay? He’s here and he’s safe. He’s waiting for us at the diner and he’s—not alone,”

Your father looked at you, waited for more information. “I want you to meet my boyfriend,” Gibbs didn’t answer, he just turned on the elevator. You switched it off right after. “Don’t go all overprotective, please. He’s nice. The best, actually. And he means a lot to me,”

“How long have you been hiding this from me?”

“Three—years,”

“Years?!”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I hid it from you, but I didn’t want you to scare him away. I love him,”

“What kind of man do you think I am?”

“The one that breaks my ex boyfriend’s arm because he broke up with me!”

“I didn’t want to break his arm. He wouldn’t shut up,”

“Anyway! Be nice and open minded, please?”

Gibbs wondered why you said “open minded”. He figured it out pretty quickly when he saw your boyfriend through the diner’s window. “How old is he, Y/N?” Not that Rafael looked particularly old, but he’s older than you and that can noticeable, especially for your father.

“Open minded, dad! You like red heads, I like older guys,” Gibbs swallowed hard when you said that. “Pop likes him. I’m sure you will too, if you give him a chance,” you slided your hand into your father’s, “Please?” You looked at him with those puppy eyes of yours. He now knows why it always worked when he did it with his mother.

Jackson was the first to see you and your father through the window. “Are you ready, Rafael?” Your boyfriend followed Jackson’s stare. You were obviously talking to your dad. “She’s warning him,” Jackson chuckled.

“I’m honestly afraid. I know that—if your son doesn’t like me, my relationship with Y/N is in danger,”

“You got me in your corner, son. It’s gonna be okay,”

Rafael watched you until you entered the diner. He stood up and extended his hand to your father. He felt like a teenager, meeting the scary father of his first girlfriend. But he’s a grown man, he is a shark in court, he usually scares people. He surely can handle your father. So he hoped.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” he said. When you noticed your father wasn’t shaking Rafael’s hand, you hit him with your elbow and he did it.

“Hi son,” Jackson stood up painfully and your father hugged him. You sat next to Rafael, across your father. Under the table, you grabbed your fiancé’s hand and squeezed it softly. “About time you arrive, we’re starving,” Jackson said. Your father kept staring at your fiancé. “I feel like the outsider here. You all work in law enforcement and here I am, old marine, with his shop,” thank god for your grandfather.

“What do you do?” Gibbs asked his son-in-law.

“Lawyer. ADA for Manhattan’s Special Victim Unit,”

“Good kind of lawyer,” you told your dad.

The diner went as good as it could go and it was all on your grandfather. You knew he was fond of your boyfriend and that he would make it easier. A few times, you had to give kicks to your father under the table to remind him to behave. Not that he was giving hard times to Rafael, but he was searching for a smallest bad thing in your boyfriend.

“How did I do?” Rafael asked when you were in the car. Your father and your grandfather were in your father’s car.

“He agreed for us to stay at home for the weekend, so that’s good. That’s really good actually,”

“Yeah, well, thank god you invited your grandfather,” Rafael chuckled.

“Told you we needed the shield,”

“You know, baby—I understand him. I didn’t sleep much last night and I tried the empathy thing. I would probably be like him if I went through the same things,” Rafael had his hand on your knee and he gave you a squeeze. “Wouldn’t want anything around a diamond like you,”

Though you were driving, you put one of your hands on his. “Mum would have loved you. She would have made him behave,” you giggled to that thought but Rafael heard the tears in your voice.

“I hope she knows how much I love her daughter,” Rafael brought your hand to his lips and softly kissed your knuckles.

Later that night, while Rafael was peacefully sleeping in your old room - he made a move but you refused to do anything in that room and he understood - you went downstairs and heard noise from the basement. “Old habits die hard,” you said, walking to your father.

“Did I wake you up? Not used to have people at home anymore,”

“Don’t worry, dad. I just couldn’t sleep,” you grabbed one of the tools and started to work on the boat just like your father showed you when you were little.

“Something’s bothering you? Are you disappoint by my behavior?”

“Nah. You did better than I thought, actually,” you told him. “And for what’s worth, Rafael understands why you are the way you are,”

“And what way would that be?”

“Overprotective. Worried. Scared, perhaps?”

“All I want is for you to be happy, sweetheart,”

“I know,” you let go of the tool and got closer to your father, making him stop what he’s doing. “I am, dad. Rafael makes me happy,” Gibbs could see the tears in your eyes even though the light was dim. He watched you taking something from your sweater’s pocket. “That’s why—“ you put the ring around your finger, “I said yes,”

You knew it was a lot in one night for your father. You didn’t know what his reaction would be. But he surprised you with a tight hug. “You’re happy, I’m happy, baby. Rafael is—seems like a very good man,”

You were happy about your life. But something was still off and no one, nothing can’t make it disappear, “I wish mummy and Kelly were still here,” you cried in your father’s arms.

“Me too, baby. Me, too,”

Rafael felt you leaving the bed. He always knew you had sleep issues. Sometimes when you disappeared in the middle of the night, he followed you because he knows you’re not okay. That’s exactly what he did, until he heard you and your father in the basement. He heard the entire conversation. It warmed and broke his heart in the same time. He could never take away the pain of losing your mother and your sister when you were a little girl. But he promised himself he would do everything he can to make it less painful.

In the morning, Rafael woke up before you. When he got downstairs, your father and grandfather were already up and eating breakfast. “Morning Rafael,” Jackson greeted him with a warm smile, which he returned.

Gibbs didn’t say anything, but with his hand, he ordered Rafael to follow him downstairs. “I now know why Y/N’s good with wood, and building things,” Rafael said with a - scared - smile.

Gibbs sat on his bench and looked up to his soon-to-be son-in-law. “I need you to make me one promise,” he said. Rafael nodded. “Promise me that—whatever happened to me, to my father or even, between you and my daughter, you will always be there for her,” Rafael felt he wasn’t done so he stayed silent, “I never approved of her exes because I knew they weren’t up for it. I feel like you are, so—promise me that, and I will let you marry her,”

“I promise you. I would promise it a hundred times if needed. Your daughter brought me back to life, she has no idea how happy she makes me. She deserves the world and I will give it to her,” Rafael paused to take a deep breath, “I promise you, I will always be there for her. No matter what,” he said. “sí o sí,” he repeated in a whisper.

Gibbs stood up and did something unexpected for both of them. He hugged Rafael. Not in a million years, Rafael would have imagined his father-in-law would hug him. But he did and you saw it.

[fruitymimi]

Free Bird - Keigo Takami x Reader

free bird master list

the hero commission ruined him, leaving him unable to feel anything. that is until he meets them. 

warning: yandere themes, emotional trauma/abuse, obsessive hawks

pairing: keigo takami x gender neutral reader

a/n: this fic will get darker as i go, this is only the first chapter (; this is all fiction, if it isnt your thing please scroll x. THIS IS ALSO SLOW BURN! hopefully i’ll have an update out tmr <3

word count: 2727

Keigo Takami was the last man you’d call mentally stable.

Keigo has always felt like he didn’t have a valid place on this earth. He’s always felt like he was alone, nobody understood the way he thought. Since he was a child, he hated the idea of becoming a hero. He wanted to live in peace, he wanted to feel like a free bird. He couldn’t remember much about his childhood, almost like he’d built a mental wall between his past and whatever he had left that he called a future. 

His parents always asked him if he wanted to be “Just like Endeavor!” and whenever he’d tell them that he wanted to be his own person, they would shut him down by saying he just didn’t realize it yet, but he was “bound” to be the #1 hero. Instead of a childhood, Keigo was forced to train with people who were physically and mentally stronger than him, people who made his quirk seem as though it was just lightwork that anyone could do. 

Putting a child with people who would make him feel inferior was one thing, but doing it on purpose to try and make your child stronger was just abusive. That’s all his parents wanted. They wanted him to be the strongest hero in the world. They would do anything to get their hands on a child with a hero salary.

“You’ll be just like your idol!”

As soon as Hawks turned 18, he’d lost his freedom to speak for himself, he’d lost his free will. He was no longer a free bird. He was manipulated and forced into the position he was in now. They promised he’d be the perfect hero, they promised he would have the top hero position.

Keigo was so desperate for an escape that he believed his “idol” would be his savior, poor thing knew that was near impossible, though. His parents basically sold their soul to Endeavor, after exchanging a few words & their child with Endeavor, his future was written for him. 

Endeavor wasn’t at all innocent. Keigo was his fifth chance at the perfect child in his eyes. The only thing that separated the man from Keigo’s parents was the fact that Enji was not motivated by money. Endeavor wanted nothing more than a perfect name. He wanted his name to have an impact far after his death, and he wasn’t sure how far he’d get with Shoto. 

By having Keigo, Endeavor could let people know that he trained, motivated, and pushed Keigo to be the amazing hero he was. Nobody would find out about Keigo’s past, no one needed to know. Endeavor would be a legend, Keigo’s parents would be rich beyond belief, and Keigo would be a hero, who wouldn’t want to work for a corrupt system that enslaves or brainwashes its people? 

The hero commission didn’t want Keigo. They wanted a hero they could control.

“His quirk is perfect. He has the ability to fly, he can use his feathers in combat, he’s the perfect tool.”

From a young age, Keigo was forced to realize how terrible the hero commission was. Praised or villanized for a quirk you couldn’t control, and if you didn’t have a quirk, you were pretty much useless. 

The only people who understood this concept was of course those who were affected by it. The ones who were published all over the news for being a villain, a threat, just because the hero commission saw their quirk as dangerous. They’d be locked behind bars for wanting to stop the injustices & prejudice against them, they’d rot in a cell, blaming themselves for something they couldn’t control. All while heroes were praised for doing the bare minimum, living in 3 story homes, eating off of silver spoons.

Knowing this at a young age was a lot for Keigo. All he wanted was to be a free bird, but… that wasn’t possible anymore. He felt empty. He felt like his life didn’t have a purpose, he was just a puppet for Endeavor, a bank for his parents. 

He’d spend hours training with Endeavor, even if he complained that he wasn’t feeling well and didn’t feel like he could continue, Endeavor would make him continue training until he couldn’t fly straight. They event went so far as to putting Keigo in a dorm room inside of Endeavor’s building so they could have longer and “more effective” training.  Keigo knew he wouldn’t get out of being a hero, and he was slowly accepting the fact that his right to autonomy was gone.

He couldn’t even escape from the dorms. Even though Endeavor left every night to go to his own home, the building was heavily guarded and Keigo would be a fool to try and run away.

And that’s how he carried himself until he was nineteen. No, he didn’t finally break Endeavor with his sob stories. No, he didn’t knock any sense into his parents to have them pull him out of hero work. He… met someone?

“This is Keigo. He’s… he’s interning with me. He’s been shadowing me since he was a young, aspiring hero.” Enji explained to the person who was following close behind him. They had bright eyes, they looked like they were excited and content with being a hero.

Keigo couldn’t help but stare at them… someone was walking with Endeavor and they were happy. That’s not something you even see from his own wife. It didn’t take long for Keigo to notice how gorgeous they were. The prettiest skin, their features were soft & made their face look absolutely stunning. 

“Keigo. Don’t you have something to say to them?” Endeavor was staring daggers into Keigo’s face. 

Keigo’s eyes were blown wide as he snapped back into reality. “My name is Keigo Takami. It’s really nice to meet you.” He said to them, reaching his hand out for them to shake. 

They grinned, taking his hand into theirs. “It’s nice to meet you! I’m Y/N! I’m interning with All Might, he’s just gonna be busy for a few weeks in another country… So, he trusted Endeavor to train me until he’s back.” Immediately, they cursed themselves for saying something that Keigo probably had no interest in, something he didn’t ask about.

But that’s where they were wrong. Keigo wanted nothing more but to hear them speak. He was pretty sure that the only real interaction he’d gotten in the past month was with Endeavor, it felt amazing to finally be talking with someone else. 

Keigo felt like he was floating as he stared at their smile. He wanted to listen to them speak all day, he didn’t care if what they said had no meaning.

“I trust you to teach her warm-ups while I’m in the next room getting a few things for the training,” Endeavor looked at Keigo, raising a row, “behave yourself.” He mumbled, leaving the two in the room by themselves.

Keigo couldn’t help but watch what they were doing. They seemed so bubbly and excited to be in the position they were in. 

“So..” They finally broke the awkward silence, folding their hands in front of them, “He seems like he’s a hardass, isn’t he?” They laughed.

Keigo furrowed his brows, scratching the back of his neck. “Hm- What?” He stuttered out. Of course he was getting distracted by their smile again. The way their hands looked so soft and the way their eyes shined whenever they would look at Keigo.

“Endeavor, birdbrain. He’s a hardass? I can tell.” They teased, slowly walking to a chair that was in the room. “He seems like he’s really strict, almost like he’s annoying.”

For some reason, Keigo’s face felt all hot. It felt like it was burning hot in the room all of a sudden. He didn’t feel right. He felt like he wasn’t in the right dimension. He wasn’t himself. “Yeah… That’s Endeavor… He’s always like that, always has been since I can remember.”

“Why’d you pick him for your internship? There are so many cool heroes… Endeavor seems…” Their words trailed off as they looked down at Keigo’s wings, smiling when he saw them flutter. Of course the stupid things fluttered at the sound of their voice.

Keigo opened his mouth to speak, searching for the words-- a lie to tell them. “Well… I’ve always looked up to him. He keeps me in check and is putting me on the correct path to becoming a hero.” The simple, stupid lie felt like acid on his tongue. He couldn’t even stand pretending to praise the man. “What about you? Why All Might?”

They shrugged. “I dunno… I want to be like him someday… But… I want to be better. I don’t want people to feel like they’re villains just because they don’t have the ideal quirk. I want them to also know that they can make a difference in this world just like a hero can. And I want people without quirks to know that too,” They said, getting that same bright look in their face they had when they first walked in, “I’ve always thought the hero commission was fucked, but maybe if a few good heroes step in, it’ll better…?”

Keigo hummed, nodding his head. “I’ve always thought the same thing. The hero commission is so damaged.” Keigo agreed. He could listen to them speak for hours. He was in absolute awe from the way they made him feel.

After that day, Keigo drug himself to his bedroom in his dorm.. His body didn’t feel like it was his anymore. He had never felt this way and it was honestly overwhelming. He didn’t have anyone to speak to about it, so these feelings bottled up in his soul. He kept closing his eyes to go to sleep, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop thinking about them. Their smile, how excited they were to do hero work. His head felt all cloudy, his heart felt like it was heavy. Finally he could feel something, he hated it.

It felt like his head was pounding. Keigo coldn’t get them off his mind. They’d only met and spoken to each other once, why was he feeling like this? This wasn’t him falling in love, right?

“That’s childish… It can’t be..” he mumbled to himself, laying down flat against his pillow. He could hear faint footsteps but he’d just assumed it was Endeavor walking around the hallways to make sure he was sleeping before he left for his own home.

“Hey..” Y/N knocked on his cracked door, biting down on their bottom lip, “Birdbrain… You awake?” They whisper-yelled, peeking into his room.

Keigo squinted at the door, sitting up in his bed. “Why’re you awake? Endeavor’s gonna be upset..” he told them, pushing the blankets off of his legs to walk over to them. 

They shrugged, opening the door a bit wider. “It’s fine. I wanted to show you something… it might be something you already know about, but I thought it would make you kinda happy.” They reached for his wrist, tugging it towards their dorm room.

They smiled, rushing him over to the window. “I noticed if you can fit through the window, you could sit on the roof… I thought it would be kinda cool for us to look at the stars or something and talk. Since I’m gonna be here for awhile, we might as well become friends, right?”

That stupid fucking smile.

Keigo nodded slowly, looking outside. “There are guards down there… what if they see us?” Keigo bit down on his lip. To Keigo, it wasn’t a matter of ‘what if they see us?’, it was a matter of ‘what if they see me?’. They wouldn’t get in trouble, but Keigo would be punished if they thought he was sneaking out.

“If we get in trouble, I’ll take the blame. Just do this with me, please?” They asked, unlocking the window. They slid it open, crawling out of the window. They turned to face Keigo, offering a hand to help him out.

Keigo stared at their hand for a minute. He was getting that dumb feeling again. His hands felt shaky, his cheeks felt like they were burning hot, his heart was pounding like it was doing flips in his chest. He took their hand, using it to get onto the rooftop.

“You’re so shaky… Have you never done anything risky like this?” They giggled, turning to look at all of the stars. “It’s really beautiful up here.” They mumbled.

Keigo looked at them, then to their glossy eyes. He swallowed, nodding his head. “Yeah, it’s really pretty…” he muttered, his eyes darting down to his lap. Was this love? He hasn’t felt that since he was a child, how could he have fallen for some trainee?

“So, Keigo. What is your quirk exactly? Can you only fly?” They asked him, turning to look at the man beside them.

Keigo shook his head. “No! I mean.. No, my quirk gives me fierce wings. My feathers act as if they’re alive and move at my command. They’re good for saving people. And I can use some of them like a sword, some of them are extremely sharp.” Keigo explained to them, watching them look at his hawks in amazement. “What’s your quirk..?”

They hummed. “That’s really cool! You should take me on a flight one day,” they grinned, “and… It’s kind of lame compared to yours. I can create a sandstorm on command, small, large, whatever.” They told him. 

Keigo nodded. “That’s not lame. That sounds really interesting, actually.” Keigo felt his wings twitch. They were making him feel some type of way again. 

Keigo got lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t even notice them leaning their head against him until he heard their soft snores. Keigo turned his head, something red catching his eye. He darted his eyes over to the window, peering out. He could see Endeavor standing at the door way with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

Keigo bit his lip, turning back to the stars. He looked down at them. He couldn’t help but notice their features all over again. They were absolutely breath-taking. And they smelled fresh and sweet, he felt like he could get high off of their rich scent.  Their skin looked soft to the touch, it made him want to reach out and lay his hand on their cheek, and just stare into their eyes.

Keigo’s wings fluttered again at the sight. He bit down on his lip, letting out a deep breath. Keigo was basically at a war with himself in his head. Was it okay for him to develop a crush on someone this fast? Keigo didn’t remember what it was like to be in love, he’d lost that feeling towards his parents long ago. But looking down at them made him feel safe. As long as he was out here with them, nothing could hurt him anymore.

He could forget about everything that was hurting him. He could forget about what was trapping him inside this awful building when he was with them.

His parents couldn’t hurt him anymore.

Endeavor couldn’t hurt him anymore.

Keigo could feel tears brimming at his eyes, his bottom lip quivering. Only they could make him feel this way. No one else gave him this sense of… sense of euphoria and happiness. And the way they were speaking with him, they felt it too, right? They were in love too, right? Keigo wasn’t crazy. Keigo knew what this meant. 

This meant they were in love too.

He just knew that he couldn’t let them go. He couldn’t let someone take them from him. He needed them. He wanted to have this feeling forever. He needed to feel wanted forever. He wasn’t interpreting this wrong, this was love. This is what true love was suposed to feel like. He wrapped his wing around them, using his feathers as if they were a blanket to keep them warm.

He looked down at his shaky hands, pressing one against his pounding chest. This was all because of them. This was meant to happen… this is fate. His mind was blank. The only thing he could only think one thing,

Mine.

Mine.

They will be mine.