Signal Fire - Chapter 1
Summary: Two years after Corroded Coffin finally made it big, Eddie learns that Chrissy's mother has passed away. He returns to Hawkins in the hope of reuniting with her, but would Chrissy be able to overcome her fears and allow herself some happiness at last?
A/N: This is the final part of "Return to Hawkins". I highly recommend that you read the first two parts, especially "Headlights on Dark Roads", before reading this.
Also, since the first one, "Same Streets, New Memories" is in Eddie's POV, and the second one, "Headlights on Dark Roads", is in Chrissy's POV, I thought I'd have their alternating POVs here to balance things out.
Warnings: angst, brief mentions of abuse, homophobia, and drug use, some smut (in this chapter)
Chapter word count: 4.2k
Chapter 1
On tour, every band has its own post-show wind-down routine. Some retire to their hotel rooms with a drink or two and some mind-numbing TV. Some crash on their tour bus on their way to the next city, the next gig. Some meditate. Some talk to their therapist. Others, the really annoying ones, do yoga or hit the gym. Most party, and party hard, putting every substance known to man—and some unknown as well—down their throats, up their noses, and into every bodily orifice they can find.
The members of Corroded Coffin, like ET, phone home.
It had been over two years since they were signed with Metal Blade, two whirlwind years of constant recording, rehearsals, and gigs. Their third album—often mistaken by the new fans as their debut—had gone gold, then platinum. They had opened for Metallica, played at the recently resurrected Lollapalooza, and were about to embark on their first-ever European tour. For a band from a small town in Indiana who, until five years ago, was still struggling in obscurity, it was pretty well done.
Perhaps some of that success was owed to the band's exemplary behavior, both on- and offstage. Perhaps it was because they'd made almost every mistake one could make as a band already. When you've spent nearly 15 years doing everything wrong, the next thing you do is bound to be right. Their shows were always explosive, but there was no smashing of instruments, no biting heads off live animals. They were friendly with the other acts, but as soon as the backstage party descended into chaos and disorder, they excused themselves. When it came to parties, Corroded Coffin was much more likely to be found in the kind that went raiding and fighting evil wizards.
Though there was the occasional speculation about their personal lives, especially that of their charismatic frontman, they remained intensely private on that aspect. Tabloids soon got bored of them. They became known as the good boys of metal. Other critics, less charitable, called them a dad band, squares, or said that, like their name, they were already in the grave. They didn't care. All those years had taught them to manage their expectations. They knew they were never going to be huge, like Metallica-huge. But they seemed set on their way to being a moderately successful band, at least enough to earn a living doing what they love, and how many of us are that lucky?
That night, as they finished their penultimate US show in San Francisco, Jeff, Grant, and Gareth called their loved ones in LA as usual, although they were coming home the next day to prepare for Rock am Ring in Germany. Eddie checked his phone as well. Though it was now late in Hawkins, Uncle Wayne would still be awake, a leftover habit from his days of working nights at the plant, or, if not, he would leave Eddie a voice message—the old man never got the hang of texting, bless him—and Eddie would call him back in the morning.
Wayne had left a message. It only said, "Call me when you get this. Never mind the time."
Had something happened? Had there been an accident? With his heart in his throat, Eddie fumbled with the buttons to dial Wayne's number.
"I'm fine, everything's fine," Wayne said the moment he heard Eddie's voice, and Eddie relaxed slightly. "Except—ah, Mrs. Cunningham just passed away. Couple of days ago."
Eddie's first reaction was to laugh out loud at the sheer anti-climactic feel of it all. Through the curtain of his bunk, he could hear the murmur of Gareth's voice asking his wife to give their daughter a goodnight kiss.
"How'd you know?" Eddie asked. "Did she tell you or—"
Wayne knew who he meant. "No. I still see her in town from time to time, but—no, I saw the funeral notice."
So Chrissy's mom had died. Eddie sat down, not quite sure how he should take the news. He supposed he should feel bad for the woman, at least a little, but all he could feel was relief. Ding dong, the witch is dead. He'd only met Mrs. Cunningham once, shortly before he went back to LA, but it was enough, and he could never forgive her for the damage she'd done to Chrissy. She was the reason Chrissy had decided to stay in Hawkins, the reason Chrissy had given up on them. Now that she was gone... but he was getting ahead of himself. What bothered him was that Chrissy hadn't told him the news herself. She still had his number, he believed. Why hadn't she called? Did she think he would not care? Did she even want him there?
"When's the funeral?" Eddie heard himself asking.
"Day after tomorrow."
"Do you—do you think I should be there?"
Eddie knew Wayne would understand. Wayne knew Eddie would want to talk it out with someone, which was why he'd waited to tell Eddie directly instead of just leaving a message. Eddie was grateful to his uncle for that.
"Look, I don't want to pry into what happened between you and Chrissy," Wayne said. "But she's lonely, I can tell. For a year after you left, she didn't come around, didn't call, nothing. Then one day, I ran into her at the store, and the girl just... broke down. I told her if she needed someone to talk to, I'd be there for her. Now she brings me food sometimes, and we'd have a beer and talk about you."
"Wait, how come this is the first time I ever heard about you and Chrissy hanging out?"
"Chrissy asks me not to mention it to you. She's still..." Eddie was dying for his uncle to finish the sentence, but Wayne only cleared his throat. "But what does an old man like me know anyway? If you can make it, go—even if it's just for old time's sake."
After he said goodbye to Wayne and hung up, Eddie lay back in his bunk. Two years. Two years he had not heard from Chrissy. When he left, she'd asked him not to say goodbye, and so in his mind, things between them had never ended at all. Once the band was settled in LA, he'd called and called and called and sent messages after messages, telling her that he would wait until she was ready to talk, so they could figure things out. She never answered, and after a while, he stopped.
It was fortunate that he had been so busy the past two years, or he might have gone crazy from missing her. The mornings were the worst. At night, he could fall into bed, exhausted after a gig or a recording session, without thinking much of her, but in the morning, there was always a drowsy moment when he expected to feel her feather-light kisses on his ear, and he would strain so hard to actually catch the kiss that he woke himself up.
He'd missed her when he and the guys had gone to see The Return of the King (opening night, Grauman's Chinese Theater), although she had always fallen asleep watching any of the Lord of the Rings films. He missed seeing her curled up on his shitty couch in his shitty apartment in Hawkins. Not that he would trade what they had now for his old life. But it would've been nice if he could've shared it with her.
And here was his chance.
The funeral was on Thursday. They were leaving for Germany next week. That would give him three days in Hawkins for the funeral and to work out whatever needed to be worked out between him and Chrissy, before rejoining the band in LA.
Two years was a long time. A lot could've changed. But if Wayne was correct, if Chrissy was really lonely and still... still what? Thinking of him? In love with him? Eddie didn't know, but he couldn't let this chance pass without finding out.
***
Eddie rented a car in Indianapolis and drove straight to the funeral from the airport. The closer he got to Hawkins, to seeing Chrissy, the faster his heartbeats got, until he felt like his heart had been switched with one of Gareth's snares. What would she be like? Would she be the same, or had she changed? Would she be happy to see him?
His flight was a bit late, and the car rental had taken longer than he'd expected, so by the time he pulled into the church, the service was already underway. He slipped in, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, but several heads from the back rows still turned toward him, first with curiosity, and then disapproval. He'd take care to wear black, but now that he thought about it, perhaps black jeans, a black t-shirt, and a black leather jacket were not the most appropriate attire in this situation. He could only imagine what he looked like to this church-going crowd—less like someone attending a funeral and more like someone going to a Black Sabbath concert, which, to be fair, is what he looked like most of the time. Even the photo of Mrs. Cunningham set by the lectern, surrounded by white chrysanthemums, seemed to be glaring at him.
Ignoring those looks of consternation, Eddie found a pew at the very back and gingerly sat down, while still scanning the front for Chrissy. He knew the back of her head and her neck so well that he was certain he could pick her out even from behind. But there was no sign of her blond head. Perhaps she had decided to skip the funeral altogether. Given the relationship between her and her mother, Eddie couldn't exactly blame Chrissy. That didn't stop him from feeling a sense of anticlimax though. Where would she be?
Eddie noticed that no family member stepped up to give a speech. Of course, Chrissy's brother, who had been kicked out by her parents at eighteen for being gay, wouldn't be there either. At the lectern, the pastor was droning on about what a kind and generous soul Mrs. Cunningham was and how bravely she had endured tragedy and hardship in the last few years of her life, and Eddie had to fight the urge to snort. Yes, such a kind and generous woman that neither of her children was present at her funeral.
Finally, the service was over, and people started filing out and headed to the cemetery. There was a bit of a traffic jam at the door as they stopped to shake hands with the family. Eddie hung back a little to see if Chrissy was there, but he only saw a woman whose resemblance to Mrs. Cunningham suggested she was a sister or at least a cousin, and standing next to her was the last person he'd expected to see.
Jason Carver.
Despite looking a little thicker around the middle and with a bit of a receding hairline, Jason didn't seem to have changed much since high school. The smug look on his face and the instant loathing Eddie felt upon seeing it were exactly the same as well. What the fuck was Jason Carver doing here? Last Eddie heard, he was married and living in Bloomington. Unless... unless... a terrible possibility formed in Eddie's mind. Two years was a long time. A lot could have changed.
Eddie hesitated, half wanting to slip away so he wouldn't have to interact with Jason, half wanting to interrogate Jason on what he was doing here and where the hell Chrissy was. Just as he was wavering at the exit, he felt a prod at his back, and a woman behind him hissed, "Move along!" He stumbled forward and found himself face-to-face with Jason.
"Eddie Munson?" Jason's mouth dropped. "What on Earth are you doing here?"
"Carver." Eddie nodded with what he hoped was a nonchalant air and deliberately ignored Jason's question. "Didn't know you were in town."
"We just happened to be visiting my parents when I heard the news from Chris—Chrissy. I thought she could use some help."
"So where is she?"
Jason's eyes narrowed as if he thought Eddie wasn't allowed to ask after Chrissy, but he answered anyway, "She wasn't feeling well and decided to stay home. This is very hard on her, you know. First her dad, now her mom. They were close."
Eddie stared at Jason, astonished that despite being with Chrissy for less than ten months, he'd known more about her than this fool ever did after having dated her throughout high school. His fear of Chrissy getting back with Jason seemed ridiculous now. He turned away, got into his rental car, and drove to the Cunningham's house.
***
Eddie drove down Poplar Tree Road, past the horrible cookie-cutter McMansions with their tiny lawns and huge garages that had sprung up all over this side of town in the nineties, until he came to Chrissy's house at the older end of the street. It still looked the same as he remembered from Thanksgiving two years ago, even from the time he'd driven her home after that night they'd spent in his trailer, all the way back in high school, with its unfriendly faux-stone façade that reminded him of Mrs. Cunningham's perpetual thin-lipped, disapproving look.
There was no car in the driveway. He rang the doorbell, then knocked. For a bewildering moment, he wondered if Jason had lied and Chrissy wasn't home after all. Just as he reached for the handle to see if the door was locked, it opened, and there she was.
Eddie's heart skipped a beat. He had been so focused on seeing her at the funeral and so worried when she didn't show up, that he hadn't prepared himself for seeing her like this, in such a normal setting, like no time had passed at all. Relief and joy and agony fought inside him, weakening his limbs.
At first glance, she, too, seemed unchanged. Her hair was longer now, pulled back into a low bun, almost like the ponytail she'd sported in high school, and for a second, Eddie was transported back to '86, back to the woods behind Hawkins High, when Chrissy had looked up at him with those blue, blue eyes. Even the expression in her eyes was the same. It tugged at his heart and made him want to scoop her up into his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay, because he was here.
But that vulnerable look was only there for an instant. It quickly disappeared, replaced first by surprise and then by an unnatural, blank calmness, and Eddie felt his heart falter.
"Eddie?" she said, and if he hadn't been watching her so closely, if he hadn't dreamed of seeing her again every night for the past two years, he would've missed the slight quiver in her voice. "What are you doing here?"
"Wayne called and let me know. Why didn't you tell me?"
She took a moment to answer. "I thought you were on tour."
"We just finished our last US show." So she knew they were on tour. She still cared.
"Did you come here all the way from LA?"
"Yeah. I'm going back on Sunday."
Chrissy let out a small "Oh" before they lapsed into an awkward silence.
"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have come—" he began.
"No, it's fine. I appreciate it," she said stiffly. Then, realizing they were still standing at the door, she stepped back. "Come in."
Eddie followed her into the living room. He noticed that Chrissy was wearing a black dress, but the matching jacket was thrown haphazardly on the couch, and there was a rather sad-looking bouquet of white lilies on the table.
"Why weren't you at the funeral?" he asked.
She turned to him, that haunted, frightened look back in her eyes. "I was getting ready to go," she said, picking up the lilies and trying to rearrange them, her fingers twitching restlessly. "But my dress—the fit isn't right—and these lilies I bought to put in the casket—they wilted—she wouldn't like that—she always wanted everything to be perfect—and I just couldn't—I couldn't—" The flowers dropped from her hands, her face crumpled, and she burst into choking, wrenching sobs.
Eddie was beside her in a flash. He took her hands in his, and when that wasn't enough, he pulled her into his arms, cradling her head on his chest. "Shh, it's OK," he murmured. "It's OK. It's OK."
Chrissy clung to him, her hot tears soaking through his shirt, and slowly, her trembling subsided, and her sobs quieted. He lifted her chin. "She's gone. It doesn't matter what she thought anymore," he said. "And for what it's worth, I think you're perfect, Chrissy Cunningham."
She looked at him, and he could see something else was unchanged too—the trust and love in her eyes, eyes that had lit up his world and guided him through all those long, disheartening years, even before they had gotten together, before he knew what she would come to mean to him. His fears and doubts vanished, and, leaning down, he kissed her.
As soon as their lips met, all the grief and the longing of the past two years melted away, disappeared into the blaze that erupted between them with all the suddenness and intensity of a wildfire. Their hands were all over each other, his cupping her face, hers curled into his lapels, as they drank each other in like two people dying of thirst. No matter how hard he crushed her to him, she would press back harder, until she stumbled backward and landed on the couch, pulling him down on top of her. Her skirt rode up. Eddie pushed it further up and twisted his fingers into the elastic band at her hips, yanking it down. The feel of her hips writhing under his hands drove him to distraction, so much so that he couldn't even undo his belt, not wanting to move away from her. Luckily, Chrissy noticed his fumbling and lent a helping hand.
But the couch was too small. Her left leg and his right arm were squeezed against the back, and if they tried to make room for each other, they were in danger of falling off. With a growl of frustration, Eddie sat up and swung Chrissy into his lap so she was straddling him. Much better. Only her dress was in the way. He tugged impatiently at it, heedless of the ripping sound, until it was off her shoulder, and he buried his face between her breasts while she braced her palms against the back of the couch and rolled her hips toward him. He lifted himself to meet her.
When their bodies finally connected, Chrissy let out a choked cry, and Eddie almost cried out in relief as well. He'd missed her, but he hadn't known how much until now.
It had never felt like this between them. Even their last night together, over two years ago, had been slow and dreamy, tinged with the bittersweet note of heartbreak, not this savage, desperate clawing at each other's clothes, not this panting, gasping need to get closer and closer until they were one. He no longer knew where or who he was. All he knew was her—her skin silken and scorching in his palms, her lips quivering in his mouth, her arms and legs wrapping tightly around him, her hips moving so in sync with his that he couldn't tell where she ended and he began.
When the release came, it was messy and clumsy and wrong, and it felt so, so right.
Eddie didn't know how long they remained on the couch afterward, with his arms around her and her head on his chest, while their matching breaths and heartbeats slowed and became their own again. After what felt like either an eternity or no time at all, Chrissy spoke. "Eddie," she said, and he almost cried again at the sound of his name in her voice, the whisper of her breath against his skin. "That was—"
"—amazing," he said, placing a gentle kiss on her lips that soon became not so gentle anymore.
When they drew apart again, he brushed some strands of sweat-damp hair away from her forehead and thought, even with her tear-stained cheeks, swollen lips, and half-torn dress, or perhaps precisely because of those things, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.
"Yes, it was, but..." As soon as the word "but" was out of her mouth, his heart went cold. "But it doesn't mean—"
"Please don't say that it doesn't mean anything," he said, tightening his grip around her.
"No." She placed her hand on his chest and looked at him with such tenderness that his heart turned over. "But it doesn't mean what you want it to mean either."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
She didn't answer right away. She moved off his lap, pulled her dress up, and smoothed her hair back without looking at him. He adjusted his clothes as well, feeling strangely chilled and lonely. That all-consuming fire between them was gone.
"You should go," Chrissy said. "My aunt may come back here from the cemetery to check on me." So the woman he'd seen at the funeral was Mrs. Cunningham's sister. "And Jason too," Chrissy added.
Hearing her say Jason's name so casually stirred up some unaccustomed emotions inside Eddie. Anger? Jealousy? At the church, he had been sure Chrissy couldn't have gotten back with Jason. He was not so sure now.
"Are you—you and him—" He knew he had no right to ask. He and Chrissy had broken up; whatever she did or whoever she chose to see was her own business. He hated himself for even asking, yet he couldn't stop the question.
"Don't be ridiculous. He's married, remember? He and his wife are in Hawkins visiting his folks, and he's been kind enough to help me with the funeral arrangements, that's all."
So you trust him enough to tell him about your mother's death, but not me, Eddie thought, but what he said was, "You got all your exes lined up pretty conveniently, don't you?"
"What do you mean?" Chrissy asked, her face wary.
"Well, there's Jason helping with the funeral, and here's me for—what? A quickie on your couch?" He didn't know where the vitriol was coming from. Perhaps he was hurt that Chrissy had not turned to him in her hour of need. Perhaps he was hurt that she could push him away so coldly and matter-of-factly, after what they'd just had.
Chrissy's eyes were like two blue crystals. "Don't try to be nasty, Eddie," she said, expressionless. "It doesn't suit you."
Eddie looked away. Hot shame rose within him. He'd come back to comfort Chrissy, yet the moment she didn't swoon at his feet, he threw a tantrum like an overgrown toddler.
"What do you want from me?" Chrissy continued, when he remained silent. "My mom just died. Did you expect me to throw my arms up in the air to celebrate and then ride off into the sunset with you?"
"No!" Eddie shouted, though that was exactly what he had expected. "I just wanted to—to comfort you!"
"I don't need your comfort," she said, her jaws set.
Her words lashed at him like a whip. He was reminded all too vividly of her words when she broke up with him, when she'd chosen to stay in Hawkins instead of going with him to LA. I can't keep letting you fight for me. They still smarted, after these two years.
"But you need Jason's help, is that it?"
She flinched. "That was different."
"How?"
"He doesn't—I don't—" She picked up her jacket, then threw it back down again, unable to find the right words.
Eddie jumped up from the couch and seized her arms. "You don't have to be strong all the time, you know. Why can't you just let me take care of you? I want to! I want—" And because he didn't know what else to do, how else to show her, because he still wanted her, all of her, so much he could hardly bear it, he kissed her again. For a moment, her mouth opened and her body melted into his, and all the hurt was forgotten once more—
"Chris?" Jason's voice rang out across the foyer.
Chrissy pushed Eddie away just as Jason stepped into the living room. "You OK? The front door's open—" He paused upon seeing the two of them, their faces crimson like two teenagers caught by a parent. Jason's handsome features hardened as his eyes bore into Eddie. "Munson? What are you doing here?"
"Leaving," Eddie muttered and staggered to the door without a look back. He didn't want to see Jason succeed where he had failed—in comforting Chrissy.
Coming back was a mistake. There was nothing left for him here.
Chapter 2
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