#2ndlt-rebecca-catalina

[fullmetalscullyy]

Heya, if you still want prompts: I don't know how much angst you're feeling right now but Roy saying to Riza: "all I ever wanted was your father's research" before walking away and leaving her heart broken While all he wants is to keep her save and out of harm's way to protect her from the military who would make her a living weapon or make her create more flame alchemists... Just a little artwork idea that is in my mind and needs some fuel 🙃 - @2ndlt-rebecca-catalina

something is mentioned in this fic,,, i wrote that roy thinks “success comes from power”. in actual canon i do not think that is something he’d believe, especially after ishval. i think he’d abhor it. BUT that being said, this is 18yo impressionable roy so wanted to roll with it… after all he thought the military would mean him helping people. and,, how many 18yo make clear and concise decisions for real. also i do believe the military would be v v big on propaganda, so what’s a boy to think when he sees the likes of bradley at the top of the military and with flame alchemy newly in his grasp? ANYWAY just something to keep in mind and something i wanted to play with in this oneshot. hope u enjoy and hope this is ok <3

He had to do it.

Roy Mustang took a deep breath and entered the room. He was arrested in his movements at the sight of her. The way her golden hair caught the sunlight. It shimmered before his very eyes, almost blinding him, like an angel’s light would. She was cleaning dishes in the sink. It was so domestic compared to his life in the military academy as of late, that it reminded him of her innocence in all of this. She had no idea the power she wielded on the skin of her back. A power he had just taken from her. He’d poured over her skin, admired the ink for the knowledge it held, but also repulsed by how it had gotten there. The moment had been intimate, sacred… And now he was going to dismiss it all.

She was his best friend. He couldn’t do this to her. But he had to.

Just a few days ago he’d professed this dream of his, laid bare his entire future to her, because she was the only person he knew who wouldn’t look down on him, or think him stupid for having such thoughts. She’d always managed to understand where he was coming from, even if Roy didn’t understand himself half the time. Riza Hawkeye was one of the sweetest, kindest people he’d ever met. And now he was going to have to crush her for her own good.

“I’m heading out,” he announced to the silent room.

She turned but didn’t stop in her actions. A simple nod of resignation in his direction was her response, as if she knew this moment was coming. She returned her eyes to the bubbling water washing over her hands. He’d noticed how her shoulders had tensed.

“Would you like some company to the station, Mr. Mustang?”

It hurt that was how she referred to him, but he wouldn’t put a stop to it. Any closer now and she’d be in danger.

“No, thank you. I appreciate your hospitality, Miss Hawkeye.”

“If you’re ever in town again –” Her tone was hopeful, and he hated himself for shooting it down.

“I won’t be.”

Riza turned and blinked at him once, then stared.

“I got what I came for.”

It hurt him immeasurably to say such a thing, but it was for her own good. Even though his intentions were good, in naiveté, he’d worded it so cruelly.

Riza nodded, turning back to her task.

Roy was no fool. He knew flame alchemy was one-of-a-kind. There were many who sought after it. He’d heard officers talking about it in the academy. Roy had held his tongue, worrying for his former master the more he’d heard. But no one knew where it came from. All speculation was wrong. “Some alchemist up north” or “someone in the west” knew it’s secrets. That may be the case, but Roy didn’t care, so long as it wasn’t “someone in the east”. Despite his master disapproving of Roy’s choice to join the military, he knew just how important and secret Master Hawkeye wanted his alchemy to be. He wouldn’t betray that. Even if Master Hawkeye had disowned Roy after he’d voiced his true goals to him, he couldn’t let slip the man’s research. It felt wrong. Flame alchemy had always sounded so insanely powerful to Roy and he wasn’t so foolish to think that the whole world should have access to it. He only wanted it to make a difference. A good difference. And if Fuhrer Bradley had taught him anything, it was that success came from power. If he could sacrifice himself and protect the likes of Riza Hawkeye and his family with this power, then he would. There was no question there.

That meant that if Riza was tied to him in any way, if they ever did find the source of such an incredible power now that Master Hawkeye was gone, then Riza Hawkeye would be turned into a lab rat. She’d be put on display for countless alchemists as they tried to decipher what was on her back. He wouldn’t let that happen.

But… It didn’t change the fact that he wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her that it would all be okay, that he would ensure her safety. He couldn’t. Not now that he had this power. If anyone knew where it stemmed from, she would be targeted.

“I only wanted you for your father’s research.” His tone was cold, just like the temperature the air in the room had now dropped to.

Riza paused as she cleaned for only a second, but then continued washing the plate she’d been wiping down for the last few minutes. At this point it was beyond clean. The sponge was squeaking against it, and it sounded like Roy’s heart inside his chest as it began to crack.

She’s your best friend. How can you do this to her?

“I understand,” she whispered. She didn’t turn around. She never said another word as Roy stood there waiting for something more, and that was worse than yelling. The cold indifference hurt him more, but he had no real right to feel hurt. This was his plan and he’d caused this cold shoulder towards him.

“Okay, good,” he stated firmly. His voice felt anything but. He cursed how it wavered. “Goodbye, Miss Hawkeye.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

She was still washing the same plate in the sink.

Roy picked up his suitcase from the front door and let himself out. He walked down the path with a grim look on his face. A mantra was running through is mind, of how he was doing this for her own benefit and to distance herself from him. Something told Roy that she knew he was lying. She’d always managed to see right through him, but then he remembered how her shoulders had stiffened and how she’d sounded so quiet and defeated… He’d done that to her.

Roy Mustang felt like the worst person in the world. He probably was. She’d been so kind to him and offered him complete hospitality after the death of her father, and he’d paid her in dirt. He’d taken something from her that she despised. Her father had turned her into a walking notebook, and Roy had waltzed in and acted as if that was all she was. He’d reduced her to nothing more than that, and he felt filthy. His heart had been cracking as he spoke to her in her kitchen, but now it had shattered. He paused down the path outside her home. Unable to help himself, Roy cast his eyes back towards the house. He gasped for air as pain ravaged his chest.

How could you do that to your best friend?

Glancing back, he noted how she was still standing in front of the sink. He could see her through the murky glass of the kitchen window at the front of the house. Roy could barely make out the movement of her arms as she continued to clean, and he couldn’t see her face. Her head was bowed down. That was the only change since he’d left the room. If he’d fought to look clearly enough, he may have seen a tear catching the sunlight as it ran down her cheek. It would have mirrored the same one trailing down his own cheek, before he drew himself to his full height and continued on his journey.

Because of what her bastard father had done to her, Roy had to protect her. She would be safer out here, in the middle of nowhere, where the military couldn’t get their grubby hands on the research that was now a burden on her back.

She was safer, yes, but now she was completely alone. Abandoned, by you.

Roy dropped his suitcase clumsily and placed his hands on his knees. His chest was heaving as he drew in breath. He fought past the pain and regret that was crushing his lungs. He had to. It was for her own safety.

[scentedbygunpowder]

@2ndlt-rebecca-catalina 

Damn right she is, she is a Bodyguard after all, she does MMA and other things on a daily basis and I take no criticism

((I’ll take it, and give no criticism! Riza makes sure she stays in shape. Gotta be able to save Mustang somehow!

[lantur]

5, 6, & 20 ,:)

Honestly, bless you and @2ndlt-rebecca-catalina, @firewood-figs, and @indraaas for giving me an excuse to ramble about “delicate” and some of my other fics!! 

5: What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

Definitely Riza in “delicate” :( It’s a very personal story in some ways and I’m so grateful that people have responded to it kindly. 

6: What character do you have the most fun writing?

Roy!!!! I absolutely love writing Roy’s POV. I love it for angst, like in tell me where your love lies and make me better. I love it for not-angst, like in side to side. He’s so much less reserved than Riza in many ways, which makes him easier to write than Riza. At the same time, he carries so much pain and purpose / ambition, and he’s an interesting mix of passion + calculation, which makes him fascinating to write. 

20: Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

One of my surprise favorite things about writing “delicate” has been Riza’s experience as a woman in the military. In chapter two, when Roy suggests she look into the State Military Academy, he tells her that “there are plenty of support roles in the army that are well suited to women.” In the same chapter, Riza’s academic advisor tells her that administration and support is a “respectable choice in career track, for a woman” and that she could rise to the rank of a Captain, maybe even Major, depending on “how progressive her commanding officer is.”

When Riza opts for the sniper program, Rebecca says that it’s not a typical choice for women in the service. In chapter three, there’s another reference to women’s career advancement in the military topping out at Captain or Major, with the one notable exception of Olivier Armstrong. Also in chapter three, there are references to Riza experiencing sexual harassment from other soldiers on the front lines, as well as her fear of sexual assault. 

I’ve tried to paint a picture of like - yes, the army is open to women. Sure, women can enlist. But there are career tracks women are expected to go into. Women aren’t promoted past a certain point. Women soldiers are at risk from male soldiers. Riza is part of a hostile structure and military culture even before you factor in Ishval into the mix. 

[royriza]

Favorite fic tropes here we go!! Thanks for the tag! @priscilla-dm

Had to rearrange so it’ll look easier to read!

slow burn or love at first sight //

fake dating or secret dating //

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers//

there’s only one bed or long distance correspondence //

hurt/comfort & amnesia  //

fantasy au or modern au (ENCHANTED 2007 COME ON) //

mutual pining & domestic bliss //

smut or fluff //

canon compliant or fix it //

reincarnation or character death //

one shot or multi chapter //

kid fic or road trip fic //

arranged marriage or accidental marriage //

high school romances or middle aged romances //

time travel or isolated together //

neighbors or roommates  //

sci-fi au or magic au //

angst or crack //

apocalyptic or mundane

- can you now see that ROYAI checks out all my favorite tropes KSKSHSKSJSKSB

- most of them I kinda wanna click both,, HAHA it’s hard to choose

- secret dating, middle aged romance, hurt/comfort, angst COME ON IT SCREAMS ROYAI

- While we’re at it, may I ask for fic recs? 🥺 I’m saving fics to read later, for when I have the time !!

Tagging you guys next! @later-slayer @2ndlt-rebecca-catalina @noobcinephile @jeanhaavoc @bubblymango @lastwagontrainhopper @satiricalnerd @yourlocalcookiemonster @hisguardingqueen @brenders @putalilstardust @whomadepie @firewood-figs @trashypashy @borkthemork

If you wanna join, please do!! I kinda wanna tag you all but that’s all my memory can handle for a short while you’re so many KAKSKSK just tag me!

[firewoodfigs]

For the meta asks: Number 17 please! I am curious 😅

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I don’t think so - at least, I hope not! xD The first part is a pretty loaded question, though. I’m not sure how much one can glean about me as a person from my writing, but I’ve had my own fair share of trials and troubles, and I often rely on those to better empathise with the experiences of the characters I’m writing about. I hope those come through, because I think FMA is riddled with a ton of delicate issues and I would hate to handle them in a manner that comes across as insensitive!

As for my motivations... I personally LOVE reading and using writing as a medium to explore larger themes in life, because I do think literature is a commentary on the human condition and soul! Some of the themes I really enjoy are stuff about law and order, law and morality (legal positivism postulates that the two are separate from each other, but Order 3066 is a clear example of all the problems with this), duty vs desire (Royai encapsulates this so well), war and its aftermath (I often find myself mulling over the political tensions that would remain even after the Promised Day. I can’t imagine it being all celebration and thanksgiving. Restoration is not the same as restitution, after all), amongst others. Growing as a writer definitely motivates me to keep writing, too! It’s something that I’ve enjoyed since time immemorial, so to have a chance to hone and nurture this little passion of mine is certainly a joy. And of course, this is hardly surprising - comments, encouragement and feedback definitely go a long way in motivating me. It’s always heartening to hear that there’s someone out there who enjoys the stuff I write (and it sure makes me feel a little less like this is a fruitless endeavour, amidst the roaring voices of capitalism) :’) ^ I’m SO sorry this turned out to be such a long ramble. I’m a bit of a... nerd, as you probably can tell, 😂 and I just love that FMA lends itself to all these themes so beautifully. Thanks for the ask, @2ndlt-rebecca-catalina ! <3 

[fullmetalscullyy]

Hello, I saw your post about being open for prompts and I had an idea about havocs gf in Central being Rebecca after all before they get relocated, could be angsty as hell, so if this might vibe with you... Just a thought

aaaah thank you sm!! this was a fun one bc i’ve not written havolina in a long time! thank u for getting me back into it with this wonderful idea hehe 💖 i hope you enjoy this lil sprinkle of angst  

Jean closed his front door with a dejected sigh. Movement came from inside his apartment, so he knew she was already here. His eyes closed briefly, an attempt to collect his thoughts and steel himself for the upcoming conversation. It would be hard as hell.

“Hey,” Rebecca greeted him, popping her head into the hallway to offer him a beautiful smile.

Turning, he hid his forlorn look and paused, taking in her bright expression upon seeing him and the way her dark hair tumbled over her shoulder. An apron clung to her body and was dotted with red splashes of sauce. She was in the middle of cooking them dinner.

Jean’s chest tightened but he forced a smile through it, returning her greeting.

“I’ll be back in a few,” he stated. One of his hands lifted to grasp her waist lightly as he pecked her cheek. “I’m going to get changed.”

Rebecca said nothing but he could feel her eyes on him as he left her in the doorway to his kitchen.

“Okay…” She knew something was off, but then again he’d never been perfect at hiding his emotions. By God, did he try, but when it hurt this much it was hard.

Changing out of his uniform took far longer than it should have, mainly because once he’d changed, Jean sat down on his bed and didn’t move for ten minutes or so. He just stared at his bedroom wall, trying and failing miserably to come up with the words he needed to tell Rebecca he was being transferred away.

They were in the Academy together with Riza. The two of them had hit it off right from the start and he’d been smitten with her for years. They’d fooled around more than once… Multiple times. It was all fun and games though. Nothing serious. Not friends with benefits but not a relationship. It was casual, which suited them both, but recently Jean had realised that he didn’t want to be casual anymore. Neither did she.

For a few months they’d had something resembling a relationship. It was budding but it had been beautiful. That was also when Jean Havoc realised he’d fallen for Rebecca Catalina years ago but had never admitted it to himself. Even after fooling around and she’d dozed off, Jean had been content just to watch Rebecca sleep for a while and marvel at her features. He’d stroke her face and press a kiss to her forehead, a ritual of his after every night together in each other’s bed, then fall asleep.

And now, after finally coming together, they were being ripped apart.

“Jean?”

He blinked and returned to the present, finding Rebecca’s face right in front of his. She looked wary and worried at why he wasn’t moving, just staring into space in his bedroom. Shit!

“What’s wrong?” she asked. Her voice was even and controlled as she tried to discover the root of his suffering.

The words froze in his throat. If he voiced them aloud then it would become a reality. And he really didn’t want to leave her to go to Central.

“Come on,” she urged gently. Rebecca’s hands grasped his biceps and nudged him to stand from the bed. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Rebecca,” he whispered as emotion clouded his voice. Damn it! Don’t lose it now!

“Dinner is almost ready,” she repeated. One corner of her mouth quirked up. “I’m known as a shit cook and I don’t want to add any more fuel to that fire by burning our food.”

“I – I have to tell you something –” Jean was standing now, turning to face her as she gently but firmly made him walk out of the room.

“Later,” she promised. “Dinner first.”

“I can’t –” he started to argue. He couldn’t sit there in an uncomfortable silence because the weight of what had happened to him that day was hanging over him.

“You’re not the only one who works at Eastern Headquarters,” she reminded him softly.

A pained look crossed her face and Jean froze. She already knew.

“When a you, up and coming officer like Mustang gets promoted to Central, news travels fast,” she explained.

Rebecca walked around Jean to re-enter his kitchen. She busied herself over the stove as she turned dials and began to dish up.

“So, you already know?”

Rebecca nodded. Jean could tell by the set of her shoulders that she wasn’t happy about the news and that made things even worse. This was hurting her.

“We’re going to sit down to dinner. Have you washed up?”

Jean stared at her, watching her move. Why wasn’t she more upset about this? Or angry?

“Rebecca –”

“Have you washed up?” she asked, her tone more forceful than before.

Jean nodded. “Yes.”

“Then come and help me dish up the food.”

It smelled delicious and his stomach rumbled loudly, but it also twisted painfully, affecting his appetite.

“We are going to sit down to dinner,” Rebecca stated as she lifted her own plate and gestured for him to sit at his table. “Because I put far too much time and effort into it for us not to. Then,” she added, taking a deep breath. “We can talk about it. Although I don’t really know what there is to talk about. It’s going to happen and that’s a fact. Regardless, you clearly want to.” Her eyes lifted to meet his once she was seated. “So, we can,” she smiled.

“I don’t want to leave you,” Jean whispered. His food was forgotten before him, which truly was a crime because like Rebecca said, she’d spent time on this for him. No, for them. She’d made them dinner and had it ready for him coming home from work. He’d never had a girlfriend who’d put such an effort in before. They mostly just wanted to order in or expected him to cook instead. Rebecca had gone out of her way to make them something from scratch, and he found it to be a lovely gesture.

“I know,” she admitted quietly as she took a bite of her food.

“I tried…” he trailed off. “I tried to ask if you could come too but…”

“That would never happen,” Rebecca finished.

“No,” Jean conceded glumly.

“Well, we’ll just have to make the most of the time we have left,” she reasoned, her voice determined. Glancing up at him, she gestured towards him with her fork. “Eat,” she prompted. “Please.”

Jean picked up his fork and took a bite just to appease her, but found it was very tasty. He took another.

“Is that what you want?” Jean asked as he swallowed thickly.

“Want?” Rebecca frowned.

“Well, I mean, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to ��”

“I’m not going to let you finish that thought,” she interrupted.

“Why?”

“Because of course I want to stick around!” Rebecca exclaimed. “How could you think I wouldn’t?”

“Because…” Jean floundered. “I don’t know,” he admitted. He dropped his eyes to his plate. “I just wanted to give you an out,” he mumbled. “In case you wanted it.” His shoulders rounded in on themselves as he tried to hide from the painful feelings creeping in his chest. He had to give her that chance just in case she wanted it. He’d never ask her to wait around and wouldn’t expect it either. She was smart, quick-witted, and absolutely gorgeous. Rebecca was way out of his league, so he had to give her a chance to leave. He was nothing special to pine over.

Rebecca stood from her chair. She knelt beside him and took his face gently in between her hands. His head was turned to face her. “Of course I want to stay. I love you, Jean. And I’m willing to see this through if that’s what you want.”

“See this through?” he echoed, feeling something like hope creep up his chest, dousing the fire of some of the pain already residing there.

Rebecca nodded. “Absolutely. We have phones. We have letters. God, that would be so romantic,” she winked. “And we have annual leave. Central isn’t a million miles away from here,” she reminded him gently. “There’s trains. I will absolutely come visit.”

Jean wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I love you,” he whispered.

Rebecca gripped onto the back of his t-shirt tightly. “I love you too. I’m not going to give you up this easily, Jean Havoc!”

He pulled away, cupping her cheek lightly. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“Did you expect me to leave?”

He nodded, somewhat nervous. “It’s a lot of effort, long distance.”

“You’re worth it,” Rebecca promised.

Jean pulled her in tight again, but his face was a grimace. Despite having her on board and willing to try a long-distance relationship, it would still be hard. He didn’t know when they’d be leaving yet, so Rebecca was right. He had to make sure every moment counted. He would ensure he cherished every little moment they had left together, because after the move he had no idea when he’d see her in person again.

i know he goes on to “date” lust but ehhhh let’s call it undercover dating bc this is cute uwu (makes things even angstier tho bc he’d probably tell rebecca abt it to get the ok from her… oh boy, more relationship angst!)

[scentedbygunpowder]

😦 (academy days if you don't mind)

Send a 😮 for my muse to react to being mistaken for being in a relationship with yours @2ndlt-rebecca-catalina

“Wait--what?”

Cadet Hawkeye stared at the other cadet who had just spoken, trying to wrap her mind around what had just been said. He thought that--that she and Rebecca were together? As in, in a relationship?

All Riza could do was stare in shock at the boy. Sure, she hadn’t dated since she got here, and she certainly hadn’t slept around. It was hard to get intimate with someone when you carried hidden and highly sought after alchemic research on your back, after all. And besides all of that, she was holding out for Roy. She was in love with him, and so far she hadn’t found anyone else that came close. But just because she wasn’t flirting all over the place, or hadn’t taken a guy to her rooms, did people think that she and Rebecca were together? True, she let Rebecca closer to her then she let others, but they were friends and roommates!

Riza knew she wasn’t very good at being social, what with the controlling way she was raised, but was she so bad at it that any friendliness was seen as romantic attention instead? Then again, she did mostly have her experiences with Roy to go off of, and she did fall in love with him, so maybe it was because that was all she knew?

Regardless, it didn’t matter, because it wasn’t true. “I’m--I’m not in a relationship with Rebecca,” she told the other cadet. “She’s my best friend. She’s my roommate. We’re close, but not like that.” This was different, and Riza didn’t quite know how to react or deal with it. “Excuse me.” 

She got up, and scanned the bar for Rebecca, finally finding her and hurrying over to her side. “Becca, I need to talk to you,” she said, not giving her friend anytime to argue as she pulled her aside. She made sure that they weren’t going to be overheard and that she had her friend’s full attention. “Becca,” she started, “did you know that people think that we’re in a relationship? As in a romantic relationship? Cadet Harrison just told me. What do we do? It’s not true!”