#911 6x11

[fiona-fififi]

The moment that will haunt me forever is Eddie standing in the back of Buck's hospital room, exhausted and overwhelmed to the point that he physically cannot answer Christopher's questions. That moment when Christopher asks about the tubes and he just shakes his head in frustration because he just can't. He can barely stand to look at Buck, he certainly can't bring himself to explain all of the machines that are Buck's only lifeline because he can hardly bring himself to face that reality at all.

This poor man is so drained—from staying close at the hospital, from arguing with a stubborn kid who's not supposed to be there, but who deserves to be, from trying to take care of the rest of the team, from trying to pretend he's not falling apart.

This man. This beautiful, loving man—who would do anything at all for his son, who is exceptional at communicating when it comes to Christopher—he couldn't bring himself to do more than shake his head in frustration when his son asked this question.

The amount of pain and fear that implies in Eddie is utterly heartbreaking.

[inferno-ontherocks]

9-1-1 | 7x01 Abandon Ships | 6x11 In Another Life

[existential-queeer]

Eddie is doing compressions now and not Chim, which means that as SOON as the ambulance stops, Eddie flies out of it and rushes to him, pulling Chim away and takes over because he has to do something. He has to get his hands on Buck. He can't just sit there and watch. He won't.

I am eating glass like it's fucking candy

[tawaifeddiediaz]

from this promo

[Image ID: three gifs of Eddie Diaz in the hospital from a promo of 9-1-1 episode 6.11, "In Another Life." with various other characters:

GIF 1: Eddie watching tearfully as the nurses roll Buck away into the emergency room, stepping forward in worry.

GIF 2: A doctor yelling back that, "Got it, we'll do our best". A shot from the back of Eddie, Bobby and Chimney watching.

GIF 3: Frustration creasing Eddie's expression as he yells after the nurses and doctors to, "Do more!" devastation darkening his expression. Behind him, Chim stands looking desolate as he watches them go.

/end ID]

[eddiebuckley-diaz]

"I've found that growing up means being honest. About what I want. What I need. What I feel. Who I am." - epiphany

god your mind @bidisasterbuckdiaz I'm obsessed

[aceofwhump]

You can't fix everything.

Well you know what I fixed you.

Oh really? How?

I joined the 118. And I made you mad. And I made you cry. Made you laugh sometimes. You know I drove you crazy. But I think you spent so much time trying to make sure that I didn't get myself killed that it made you remember what it means to live.

9-1-1 6x11 "In Another Life"

[bellabrady]

how eddie sprinted from the front of the ambulance that he was driving to the back so he could take over giving cpr to buck

[clusterbuck]

lights will guide you home

6x11 coda (buck’s version | eddie’s version)

buck barely waits for his parents’ uber to drive away before he gets into his jeep and drives to eddie’s.

it’s been three days since he got out of the hospital. three days since his parents walked into his loft as if they belonged there.

two days since buck realised they didn’t.

once the euphoria of his survival faded, they’d gone back to being puzzle pieces that don’t quite fit. pieces that look like they’re part of the same picture, until you put them all together and realise none of the lines connect.

buck knows his parents are trying, but—

it’s easier, he thinks, when they try from the other side of the country.

it’s been three days since he got out of the hospital and the doctors told him he’ll make a full recovery, as long as he rests enough to let his heart and lungs heal. and he’s been following orders, he really has, but he’s never breathed as easy as when he pulls up to the curb outside of eddie’s house.

buck walks up to the door, and he’s about to turn the handle and let himself in when something stops him.

he knocks on the door instead.

eddie opens in moments, the confusion on his face turning into a grin when he sees buck. there’s a beat, and then they fall into each other. buck’s not sure who moves first, just that eddie’s arm are strong around him and when he sags agains eddie’s chest, eddie holds him up.

“i thought your parents were still in town?” eddie says when they’ve moved inside. he’s in the kitchen, pouring cups of coffee, and buck sprawls across eddie’s couch.

“just left,” buck calls back. “not a moment too soon.”

“that bad?” eddie asks as he walks into the living room, one eyebrow raised, and hands buck a cup of coffee.

buck takes a sip as he thinks about it. “not… bad,” he finally says. “just weird. it’s like they’re trying to pretend the last thirty years didn’t happen.”

eddie just nods, both hands wrapped around his cup. the silence is comfortable, and buck feels it settle into his bones. he could live forever in moments like this, he thinks.

“my, uh. my mom bought me a couch,” buck eventually says.

eddie huffs a laugh. “a couch?”

“yeah, she said the chair wasn’t enough.” buck wrinkles his nose. “it’s uncomfortable.”

“is that why you look like you’re about to merge with mine?” eddie asks, gesturing at buck with his coffee cup.

“you have a good couch,” buck shrugs.

“well,” eddie says, with an amused smile. “you’re welcome to it anytime.”

buck hums into his coffee.

“so,” eddie says after a moment. “coma dream, huh?”

buck bursts out laughing. “that’s subtle.”

“hey,” eddie says, holding his hands up. “i don’t know how you’re supposed to subtly segue to a coma dream.”

“i suppose that’s fair,” buck says. “doesn’t really come up much.” he takes a breath. “i don’t know, i mean—it was weird. if kind of felt like one of those horror movie things where everything looks perfect on the surface, and then—”

“your subconscious is a horror movie?” eddie asks, and buck lobs a throw cushion at him. eddie acts indignant, but buck knows his coffee cup was already empty. it was never going to make a mess.

“more like… my subconscious was showing me a horror movie,” buck says. “to make me understand.”

“d’you think it worked?” eddie asks.

buck shrugs. “i’m here, aren’t i? i came back. i didn’t stay.”

eddie’s quiet for a moment, fiddling with the handle of his empty mug. “you weren’t tempted?” he finally asks. “to stay with—chimney said something about daniel—”

“no,” buck says, and he doesn’t hesitate. “i wasn’t tempted. it wasn’t—i wanted to come home.”

[butraura]

the way Eddie charges through and shoved Bobby out of the way to get to buck on the gurney….. I’m gonna be sick.. and then Bobby immediately tells him to get off bc he has to drive…. And then Eddie is wiping his face as he gets in the ambulance (like ok it’s raining and you don’t specifically see him wipe his eyes but it DOES feel different)…. and then the urgent “chim, I’ll take over!” leaving no room to argue because Eddie wasn’t letting buck go… and then Eddie is the one to shock him…and then him staring at buck in terror as he’s wheeled away… and then of course the ever popular “do more!”….

[uhhrellys]

"And you're gonna be okay. I love you."

"I love you too, May."

[deluweil]

"Then you haven't learned a damn thing."

[buddiebeginz]

No matter who I might become Or who I've been before I will always be yours

[inferno-ontherocks]

Let me die first or I will die twice -Atticus

[wanderingwomanwondering]

I just realized that eddie visibly tapped out of the conversation with chris in buck’s room! So eddie answered chris’ first question when they snuck into buck’s room. The question about “is he sleeping”. Eddie was able to keep it together through that. It wasn’t until chris asked “what are all these tubes” that eddie CLOSED HIS EYES, VISIBLY SHOOK HIS HEAD ‘NO’, AND THEN STARTED SILENTLY CRYING. Eddie was done at that point!! He couldn’t say anything!! He just dissolved into a puddle of pain and worry.

Excuse me!!! *screaming crying throwing up*

[princessfbi]

Evil Doctor Buck

[eddiebuckley-diaz]

To see that pain from Eddie.

Seeing that he can’t even bring himself to look at Buck in the hospital bed without crying.

The need to look away to hide from the reality in front of him.

Eddie has never shown this fear and this vulnerability so openly about someone he cares about.