#A 'good guy'/ hero wrestler

[metalhoops]

There are lots of modern aus with rockstar Eddie, and actor or professional sportsman Steve but I propose professional wrestler Steddie. I know this is niche, but hear me out. Wrestling is the perfect mix of sports (Steve) and drama/ camp (Eddie). 

You have a baby face Steve Harrington, who the crowd adores because he’s charismatic on the mic and not afraid to get a little bloody in his matches. Then you have heel Eddie who the crowd loves to hate. He’s got a Lost Boys-style vampire gimmick going on, heavy metal entrance music and has adopted the habit of walking in through the crowds. He’s amazing in tables matches and will take any opportunity to do a choke slam through the announce desk. 

The two don’t face each other in the ring often because Steve’s in a longtime feud with Billy Hargrove, whose a hell of a heel but downright dangerous in and out of the ring. He often refuses to sell for Steve and to make matters worse he’s a fan of not pulling his punches. 

Eddie and Steve don’t talk much in the locker rooms, they run in different circles and Eddie has the sneaking suspicion Steve is a stuck-up asshole (he’s not).  

They end up in a Royal Rumble match, where thirty-odd competitors get in a ring and fight to be the last one standing. Eddie’s sticking to the script. He keeps close to the guy he’s in a feud with until he catches Steve take a bump out of the corner of his eye. Billy’s on him and he’s not pulling his punches. Steve’s nose is gushing. The producers will be pissed because the T.V. network is getting squeamish about showing lots of blood. It’s not the 80s anymore. People don’t do that. 

Against his better judgment, Eddie decides to go off script. He takes Billy by surprise and manages to get him over the top rope. He wasn’t supposed to win anyway, so it wasn’t like they were going to dock his pay. He might get hazed in the locker room but that was a worry for another day. 

To Eddie’s surprise, Steve looks at him and shoots him a brilliant smile, his teeth filled with blood, his eyes shimmering with mischief. Someone tries to grapple with Eddie from behind but Steve intercepts, saving his ass. Eddie wasn’t meant to win the match either but he wanted as much airtime as he could get. He hates to admit it but he and Steve make a good team. Viewers seemed to agree. 

The next day Eddie is approached by his manager, telling him the higher-ups want him and Steve as a tag team. Which means one of two things. He and Steve were going to see a lot more of one another, and for once, Eddie was going to have to play the role of the good guy. It ends with them getting up way too close and personal in practice and pining hard over one another. 

[ironinkpen]

The interpretation of Rise Raph as a 'perfect responsible soft boy uwu' is so BORING I'm sorry, Raph is a rowdy adrenaline junkie with anxiety and I won't take this slander any longer

Raph secretly kept an enemy soldier in their actual literal house as a sparring partner. Raph glued his brothers together and dragged them out to fight crime. Raph once asked Leo to punch him in the face to prove he 'takes damage like a boss.' Raph tried to lift a school bus, twice. Raph offered to help his favorite wrestler beat his little brother up. When Leo suggests evacuating Bullhop, Raph says no bc the best defense is a good offense babey. Raph's idea of a 'friendly chat' with April's upstairs neighbor is to put on a black ski mask and go stand menacingly at their door. It takes Raph 10 episodes to conclude that they should MAYBE start training. Raph's plan to get a potentially priceless (and potentially FRAGILE) museum artifact is to punch a car in the middle of a busy street and also cut it in half with his brother still inside.

Raph's never met a problem he wouldn't try to punch in the face and does not know the meaning of the words 'excessive force.' He roughhouses with his bros and drags them out to fight villains and thinks any plan that doesn't involve an all-out brawl is boring and lame. He'll do anything to protect his family from harm and be a hero, but also he eats wet salami off the floor and once single-handedly destroyed a library.

I just adore how, at his core, Rise Raph is such a classic Raph—impulsive and stubborn and caring and passionate. He is a very sweet, strong, honorable guy who has a very powerful sense of personal responsibility... and he is also the exact kind of jock who throws you in the pool at a party without checking if you have your phone in your pocket first.

[herzspalter]

Real things that happen in GI Joe

My best friend forced me to watch some GI Joe and here's a few insane things that happen in it:

Baroness is so upset over Destro talking to another girl that she burns down his entire family inherited Scottish castle, and he keeps her because she's a catch

The villains are fed up with Cobra Commander being an inept shit, so they create a new guy made up from the DNA of history's greatest monsters, and are surprised when he turns out to be an asshole

In the obligatory drug episode, Duke's brother and one of the rando villain's sister both get addicted to a made up drug. The villain is very concerned, gets official sick leave from the bad guys, visits her in the hospital and promises her his support no matter what. Duke, the good guy, on the other hand is so upset at his brother for having a drug problem that he basically disowns him and shames him, telling him he's no longer his brother. A real american hero right there

The drug episode ends with the drug manifacturer dying and exploding and a shot of his mangled hand with giant red letters on screen saying "DRUGS KILL"

They meet a shirtless guy shooting a commercial in the arctic who asks them if they're his camera team. He teams up with the Joes and we never see his actual camera team so I guess they died

Cobra Commander is revealed to actually be a snake person in the movie, it's incredibly bad

There's a guy named Snowjob

The entire show is disgustingly Too American, like you'd think that's obvious, but it's even more American than you'd initially think

The animation sucks and that's what kept me going, very funny

Sgt. Slaughter is in this. The wrestler. He's just in this as himself, he says every line like a wrestling promo, he's the most powerful being in the show, it's a rampant self insert and it's kinda amazing

[wrestlingisfake]

Why are you booing me? I'm right!

If you're worried about who's the babyface/heel in the Hangman Page/Swerve Strickland feud, keep in mind that "babyface" doesn't exactly mean "good guy" or "hero," and "heel" doesn't exactly mean "bad guy" or "villain."

The bottom line is that AEW decided to do a double-turn back in February, and the live crowds have (generally speaking) bought into it. Arguing that Swerve's actions were indefensible, or that Page's retaliation is justifiable, is beside the point. What matters is that fans want to cheer for Swerve and boo for Hangman. The question isn't whether either character deserves that reaction, but why they're receiving it.

Swerve's face turn is subtle, but clear. When Hangman complained that he lost the first two matches due to interference, Swerve didn't have to tell Nana to stay out of the third match, but he did anyway. When the match went to a draw, Swerve wanted more five more minutes, just like the fans. When both of them failed to beat Samoa Joe for the world title, Swerve didn't waste time with excuses and grudges--he just focused on getting another chance to beat the heel and win the big one. These are all things fans appreciate, even if you're a total scoundrel. Fans like wrestlers who want to do something cool, and then get it done.

Page's heel turn is more nuanced than the typical routine of "I'm Blair St. Claire, and I'm a bad girl now!" He's right to be angry about what Swerve did to his family, but (in kayfabe) his family can't possibly be better off living with his all-consuming obsession. He's right to be frustrated that he hasn't defeated Swerve in the ring, but that attitude has only hurt his win-loss record and made it harder to avenge those defeats. It's understandable that he wants revenge, but that does not justify what he's done to various people who innocently happened to be between him and Swerve. More crucially, nothing Page can do to Strickland on September 7 is going to solve any of these problems. Fans generally turn on wrestlers who can't get the job done, or interfere with the wrestlers who can.

In light of that, Swerve's crimes and Hangman's crimes actually start to seem fairly different. I'm not trying to make excuses for Swerve here, but realistically no one got hurt when he left a T-shirt in that crib. He wanted to play mindgames heading into the match, it worked perfectly, and he knew he wasn't going to hurt anybody (except Page, later, in the ring). On the other hand, Hangman had no way of knowing--and clearly couldn't care less--if his arson might get some innocent person killed. And for what? Even if he wins the match, it won't fill the void Swerve carved out of his soul last year. For better or worse, Hangman can't really win as long he's consumed with vengeance--all of his actions are ultimately self-defeating. And people want to root for a winner.

[guywrestlingaddiction]

What Turned me Gay (not really): Pro Wrestling in the 90's

Pro Wrestling truly hit it's golden age in the 90's.  It was a time when sexy guys tied strings around their biceps and men intimidated each other by oiling up their pecs.  There was something magical about this time. The combination of colossal egos and a fresh crop of young jobbers each week created a spectacle that will never be replicated.

Ravishing Rick Rude and Stunning Steve Austin v Flyin' Brian and Sting

What turned me gay (not really) ...  This post, inspired by the sidelineland.com blog, takes a tongue and cheek look into "what made me gay (not really)" and my journey of discovery would not be complete without examining Pro Wrestling in the 90's, an era that definitely turned me gay. 

The Background It all began with an image.  I can't recall who or even which network it was on but there he was.  A jobber, trapped on the ring post getting hammered away by a vicious heel.  Now while I can't recall his face, I do recall the feeling it left with me.  The taught and fit jobber, the sweaty bodies, the satisfied smile on the heel. My young emotions screamed one thing; I needed to watch more of this.  

Not the Jobber in the corner I remember but sexy Lee Scott will do.

It helped that my older brother was also into wrestling.  Together we'd watch and celebrate or rag on each other depending on if our heroes won or lost.  But there was always one wrestler I fixated on, one man I obsessed over for reasons my young mind simply couldn't comprehend. That man was Ravishing Rick Rude.

Grabbing that chest won't save you!

Ravishing Rick Rude and Stunning Steve Austin v Flyin' Brian and Sting (WCW)

Ravishing Rick Rude v Hawk (WCW)

Ravishing Rick Rude v Ricky Steamboat (WCW)

That long, muscular body, that alpha energy the man gave off, but above all it was those abs of steel.  You could not tear me away from a Rick Rude match when he was flashing those abs into my television.  Rick Rude awakened something in me before I even knew I liked guys.  That persona and masculine energy was something I simply wanted more of.  With that incredible body, those sculpted arms, that tough guy mustache all worked to scramble my young brain; Rick Rude definitely turned me gay.  

Rick showing us the goods

Ravishing Rick Rude resting his head on a jobber

Then came another bombshell, one that a lot gay men out there could not get enough of, that is the one and only, Alex Wright.  

The one and only, Alex Wright

Tall and smooth, while also deceptively scaling the ropes between jobber and heel, Alex Wright was Pro wrestling's first Twunk.  The man was a stealth wrestler.  A man you'd expect to be riding around in a convertible listening to techno music, but then something would flip and that man would bring the heat.

Alex Wright v Brian Pillman 

Alex with Paul Roma

My favorite Alex matches were the few when he got to dominate.  It was almost like waking up from a spell, all those pretty muscles in that huge imposing frame weren't for show - the man was simply so drool worthy you'd forget how imposing the guy could be.  

Alex Wright fights back (sometimes)

Alex Wright was my first male lust and was all my youthful urges personified as a pro wrestler. The man absolutely turned me gay.  

The one and only Alex Wright!

What made this time so great to me was that it was a moment when pro studios excelled at fostering young talent.  Guys like Mark Jindrak brutalizing a young jobber, a kiss of the knuckles punch to take down Lee Scott, or in the case of Evan Karagias, being on the receiving end of the beatdown.  It was the perfect collision of over-the-top silliness with raw manly emotion.  This era simply had something going for it that I can't quite explain and haven't seen since.

Mark Jindrak vs. Elix Skipper (WCW)

Mean Mark (The Undertaker) v Lee Scott (WCW)

Paul Orndorff v Lee Scott (WCW)

Evan Karagias v Chris Jericho (WCW)

In spite of the beautiful smooth bodies shoved through my television, a stand out moment from my youth was witnessing the great Arn Anderson tearing down some poor jobber.  It was like hearing music for the first time and realizing that beauty does not always equal pretty. For me anyway, the sight of a no-nonsense, tougher-than-your-dad heel like Arn Anderson in his prime was undeniably beautiful and wrestling once again revealed something about myself that I didn't understand at the time but would later come to relish.

Arn Anderson v Alex Wright (WCW)

Arn for the Win! Arn Anderson v Eddie Jackson (WCW)

They say, often when you think you're at the end of something, you're actually at the beginning of something else. This certainly held true as the decade drew to a close and something seemed to shift in pro wrestling. While the same sexy, hard bodies still clashed in the ring, it felt like a part of what I once loved had moved on.

Or maybe I moved on. You see, Pro Wrestling in the '90s may have been the spark that turned me gay, but before I knew it, I was fully embracing myself as a gay man. Your formative years are funny like that. No matter how much time passes or where I am on this journey, I still can't shake that image of a faceless jobber trapped in the corner, somewhere back in the '90s.

[coachs-locker-room]

My friend and I are pretty standard nerds but I haven’t seen my friend around lately. The last thing I heard from him was that he was going to join the wrestling team. Can you help me find out what happened to him?

It is a good thing you came to me - I know exactly what happened to your former friend. Speaking of which, how about we walk over to the locker room to see if we can find him?

As Coach of the sports department, he naturally found his way to my office a few weeks ago, saying something about finding an item of lost kit in his bag. Of course, I was quick to correct him. Y'see - those wrestling singlets were only provided to anyone who signed up to join the team at the start of the semester. He must have been confused, as after our talk he swiftly changed into his new uniform. Ah - speak of the devil - there's our champ!

If you hadn’t known he was known your friend, then you would not have been able to recognise the man standing in front of you. Looking significantly different than you last saw each other - and seemingly feeling at home in the gym's locker room - your former friend turned around and flashed his coach a big smile and an even bigger gun show.

Despite being previously the same height as you, now he stood above you around 6"2, almost the same height as the towering Coach behind you. As your eyes continued to dash across his new body, significant muscle mass, visible strength and - of course - facial hair - you could hardly imagine the thin and nerdy frame that he used to own. The biggest change, however, was the wide dumb-looking grin that stretched across his face as he chucked a deep, low laugh. "Hey, bro - how'd you like the new look?"

Without even waiting for a response, Coach placed his thick hands on your shoulder and spoke for you - "Your old friend hasn't heard from you in a while, kid - care to give him an update?"

As your former friend started to relay his new workout regimen, supplements and wrestler training, under the weight of the hand on your shoulder your mind started to fade away to blank... the dumb jock speech was becoming more and more monotonous as the numbers, percentages and each repetition circled your head. It felt good to listen... it was nice to learn...

After what felt like hours, the weighted hand released its grip and gave you a shake back to your senses. Startled, the subliminal thoughts of how happy your former friend rubbed off on you and left you slightly aroused.

“There’s still time to join the team, Bro. I think you should give it a try.”

When you followed Coach back to his office, he turned up the strange buzzing noise from the radio that you had only half-noticed earlier. Looking through a cabinet, he handed you a light blue kit bag - matching the singlet of your friend - including a singlet, pair of sneakers and headgear all exactly the right size. The strange hazy feeling started to return as he went over what induction to the team would entail, now sounding more like a contract than a workout.

As you pulled off your sweat-soaked headgear you had a brief moment of clarity - the first since you searched for your friend all those weeks ago. Your bulging muscles and beating heart pulsed away in your chest after grappling with your opponent. As you looked down at your body you saw that were bigger, stronger and taller than you’ve ever been in your life.

You heard your name being called from the sidelines by your fellow team. A line of toned and strong guys, including your friend, all wearing the same light blue singlets were cheering your name. You were victorious, you were today’s hero.

Instinctively- in celebration - you flexed your guns and gave them all a show - just like your bro did in the locker room.

Fuck yeah, bro. You are a jock now.

[brisksunrise]

Various things involving the group that got converted by the Inkwell toon.

Edgar, due to his inky, goopy nature is capable of basic shifting of his body. While he can shift himself, he is always rather goopy. He can also shoot globs of ink from his body, such as using his tail like a cannon. Getting a bit too stressed, or even hot, will result in him melting into more of a blobby state.

Bertram will find herself dealing with lots of thoughts pertaining to fashion, trends, and a slew of more girly thoughts. What was once someone who was a womanizer constantly flirting with women, there is now a moth girl who now has thoughts of guys. Along with this, she has ended up more empathetic and somewhat 'big sisterly'. She also developed a fascination with lights of various kind!

Dahlia has clearly ended up more childish and babylike in the transformation. Her, now his, manner of speech has become more simple and cute, with some difficulty in properly pronouncing a lot of words! Dahlia's transformation into a toon baby also brings a secondary issue of filtering almost everything he says into sounding like baby babbling to those listening to him. Some individuals, which include other children, living toys, and certain others, are capable of still understanding him.

Todd ended up embracing her ghostly self and used it to make herself into a 'horror streamer', where she does usual things like play and watch horror-themed media, talk about a variety of things, and even stream herself temporarily haunting locations. Though this has started largely as just a humorous idea, she found herself falling deep into it, referring to her followers as 'appalritions'

Joyce, in becoming a wrestler-themed bunny toon, has found himself developing a good deal of heroic traits and ideals, leading to him acting out the role of a hero to help those in need! He boasts massive strength and durability. If his mask is ever removed, another mask of differing styles and designs will always appear under the previous mask. He also has really nice hair!

[wwry2018]

Desire.

I was so excited, I had just gotten a phone call from my agent that I had landed my first lead role on stage. Stanley in “ a streetcar named desire” 

The role was famously played but the great and hot Marlon Brando in his prime. I was so excited , but my agent said they had one note for me. I had the acting down and I was handsome but I needed to but more manly.

Now, I’m gay but I’m not exactly prancing round. But I guess I’m not going to be cutting down trees anytime soon. Bobby is my name and acting is my game, not labour.

Masculine I needed help with. The good news is they had a coach for me, he worked with Hugh Jackman to take this song and dance man, to cigar chomping action hero.

So I head to this dodgy part of town. You know how in a horror movie they’re fog sitting around and distant animal noise and you yell RUN at the screen. This is what I was looking at but in a back ally. As I knock on the door I’m hit in the back of the head and drop to the ground.

I wake up strapped to a table, I can’t move nothing and there is a giant screen directly in front of my face. As I go to scream for help I hear a voice behind my say. Class is in session. the screen springs to life and images of rough and tough burly men are playing in succession in front of me. Truck drivers, wrestlers lumberjacks burley men, hairy men. In between words flash so quickly on the screen I barely recognise them. Like MAN. HARD. WORK. TOUGH. SMOKE. It all so quickly I don’t know what to do, I can’t close my eyes and can’t block it out.

I feel a needle in my arm, I go to wince but can’t move. My eye go back to the screen. MANS MAN. CIGAR. FIGHT. FUCK. HAIRY. MUSK. DIRT. WORK.

I feel my muscles start to tense. Like I have been at the gym for hours…..no not the gym. Working I’ve been for years. Chopping trees and working on cars. I feel my chest inflate and my legs start to chunk up. Like the tree trunks I cut down.

Man I’m thirsty, I could go a water. A water….would do nothing. I need a beer. Beer is the only thing that is gonna help this feeling.

MANS MAN. FIGHT. DRINK. SMOKE. CIGAR.Wo FUCK. FUCK HARD. WOMEN. PUSSY.

images turn from guys like me to women , naked. Big breast, hands rubbing up and down to her thick wet juicy pussy.

I feel my dick getting hard. This isn’t right I’m gay. I like cock and eating Ass, eating ……..Pussy. Hot wet Juicy pussy, having them suck my big chokeable cock.

FUCK. DRINK.FUCK.CIGAR.FUCK.WORK. FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.

Three weeks later. No one had heard from Bobby. He is due in the rehearsal room to start Streetcar to become Stanley.

The door bangs and standing there is Bob. Bobs not used to this a touchy feely stuff. He is used to working, and working hard, but when he saw what they were going to pay him to pretty much be himself on stage. He thought fuck it. He took another drag on his cigar, wiped his hands and strode into the room. Stanley was there.

[weepingchoir]

As an adult fan of pro wrestling, you will from time to time be peppered with questions like: you know wrestling is fake, right? To which you have to be the adult and answer, no, Mae Young gave real birth to a malformed hand, live on Monday Night RAW.

When the kids leave the room, you can have a grown-up discussion of the ways in which pro wrestling is really real (sorry, Lacan). The tables are tricked out, but you try a twelve foot swanton bomb onto karate mats, if you’re so goddamn tough.

Pro wrestlers have one advantage, though: their faces get on TV. Stunt performers, the for-once sung heroes of The Fall Guy, don’t even get that. This is the opening thesis Colt (Ryan Gosling, but also stuntmen Logan Holladay, Justin Eaton, Ben Jenkin and Troy Brown) voice-overs in an intro where he also presents us with his love, director Jody (Emily Blunt).

It’s clumsy, but it’s effective. For the next two hours you cannot forget that there is a real body on the bad end of every swanton bomb. The star of Jodie’s upcoming Dune: Fury Road has gone missing, and Colt is hired to find him. Naturally this invokes very little serious detective work and a maximalist superabundance of fire, fights, firefights, sword fights, car fights, car rolls (a world record eight and half at the hands of Holladay), explosions and running into traffic without looking.

All these 150-foot falls conspired to make me do something movies rarely do, but wrestling often does: wince. Cinema hyperreality is not good at transmitting sheer pain. Narrative contextualizes surviving a drop through penthouse glass as badass, hilarious or tragic, but not painful. Real pain has a way of zapping you out of the story. So The Fall Guy is a little self-defeating as movies go. It’s unimmersive, a cardinal sin. But the story is just a vehicle for a loftier ambition: giving stunt performers the credit they deserve.

In this regard, The Fall Guy might just be a roaring success. Look, I’m listing the stunt performers alongside the actors. The Atlantic is running a scandalously titled piece on stunt credits.

Unfair to judge a movie on its ethical accomplishments? Not if we consider the failure of just about every production to uphold what The Fall Guy exposes as basic standard. In an era where most of the crew on a megaproduction can’t afford rent, this seems like the only good play from David Leitch, whose directorial efforts began at John Wick and only got more budgetful. For his next trick, I would like to see him produce a full-length on $1M. Just to see what happens.

[luimagines]

Pinky, please hit me. My brain doesn't let me sleep! My Lynel infested brain rather put more ideas in my head after my own Headcanon with Bunny!Legend. I ask a Lynel to smack me later, seriously.

That's the first time I do a modern Reader and they are messy. Not in the hygiene or character compartment. Okay, kinda with hygiene but their fighting is messy. So what about a WWE wrestler Reader?

Reader is a professional, so they know how to hurt anybody, monsters included. Also they may not seem like it but they are really strong. So if the group ever asks to fight against Twilight, they probably ask, if they do wrestling or Sumo because those are two different pairs of shoes.

Obviously it's Sumo as Twilight doesn't know how to wrestle. But nobody ever expected Twilight to lose in mere minutes. Even if Reader is smaller than him, they fight for a living, literally. They know how to handle big guys like him.

But if they do wrestling oh god have mercy on them. They ask the bloody or not bloody wrestling style and the group is shocked as they never had a wrestler in their group or in Hyrule. They don't know what comes with it and as soon as Reader explains it, they cover Wind's and Hyrule's ears.

They probably met Reader as they heard fighting nearby and rushed there to help. But nobody expected such a bloody scene.

„Holy Shit, what the fuck happened here?“ nobody could reprimand Wind as that's what they all were thinking.

Blood and monster guts everywhere and one single person standing in the midst of this bloody chaos, Reader. They choke a bokoblin at the moment and Reader is strong enough to snap their arm in two. Some even went to puke for a moment, Sky and Hyrule, as they saw how deformed the faces of the monsters were.

Reader themself was covered in blood from red to black and guts, many guts and some hearts. Except for the guys and hearts they are used to having blood all over them, nevermind if it's theirs or someone else's. After Reader killed the last creature as they jump down from a tree and strike that thing down with their elbow. They walk away like nothing happened. Well, they look for a river or some water source to wash themself.

The whole Chain has two thoughts, first they obviously don't belong here, maybe from later Hyrule or even a hero from the future, and two don't have them as your enemy. They could kill someone like Time without breaking a sweat in their mind.

Meanwhile Reader washes themself in a river and grumbles about all the shit that happened to them. They went home from work and wanted to relax but suddenly they dropped into a completely different land and fought monsters. If Reader knows Hyrule and the Links is Readers choice.

But as soon as they got sucked into the group. Wild and Wind ask about Reader teaching them and they do, just don't the most brutal moves they know. Twilight is happy that his pup and Wind learn some hand to hand combat if it ever comes down to that. Reader also lifts Twilight up like nothing and if Reader is as small as Four. People are even more scared. Small people are scary like Chihuahuas they may look small and fragile but as soon as you rile them up your dead.

But they probably go around and look for gauntlets for Reader so they don't bruise their knuckles too bad. Well, Reader has a pair of knuckle-duster/ brass knuckles and they see no problem with it or their bruised knuckles, it comes with the job like knowing where to punch so your opponent only gets hardly air in their lungs.

After Reader explains that it's good for business if it gets bloody, the more bloody the better the pay. Sky loses faith in the future of Hyrule after they explain that they are human. Twilight loses faith in humanity. So now they have to explain that they aren't from Hyrule but Earth and it's their job! They beat other humans and vice versa. They do that for a living, they are a professional. If they are popular or not I let Reader decide. But Wind finds them super cool even if they are covered in blood after every fight they have moves where everyone says "Uh!" And grimace with pain like they are the monster that gets beaten up.

Oh dear....

Reader takes "beating them to a bloody pulp" quite literally.

"It's good for business!"

Cue horrified looks.

I don't actually think Hyrule would be all that scarred/freaked out by it since (1.) his Hyrule is the worst by definition so who knows what he saw and (2.) he was able to talk to Wild about his horrific damage from, you know, dying.

Sky is a goner though. Poor guy never stood a chance.

Even Twilight has to admit that it might be much and he mauls some monsters to death. At least he has the teeth for it. Reader is going in elbow dropping on monster's faces and snapping necks.

[modeus-the-unbound]

Let me start off this post with a bold statment. Godfrey is the single biggest political statement in Elden Ring.

Yes, this guy. The big buff wrestler man with grey hair and lion Stand (jojo!)

Because his name isn't Godfrey, it's Hoarah Loux. But to along with his culture, he had to seperate himself from his own name. Hoarah Loux was the chieftain of a group of people whose home is only reffered to as "The Badlands" before encountering Marika. Now we don't have much on specific details of how their meeting went, but considering Marika and the Golden Order in game are responsible for either the subjugation or genocide of multiple groups, (Misbegotten, Zamor, Trolls, Fire Giants, Omen, and Albinauric.) Its not unreasonable to assume her meeting with Hoarah Loux and his people was not treated as a meeting of equals. But mutliple mentions of this group he led mention respecting power and strength, so even an unfair agreement between them could have been fostered due to Marika's power as a goddess. Hence why Hoarah Loux had to shed his "savage" name and culture to become a "proper" lord for Marika as Godfrey. Similar acts were commited by the United States to indigenous tribes of the America's and to slaves brought here from Africa. They were forced to go by "good christian names" in order to seperate them from their own cultures.

In game, a starting class for the player is Hero. They are specified as having descended from the badlands chieftain. Now whether that's literal like the image of Nepheli in it's example art, or metaphorical in that they come from his tribe/cultural group isn't clear....because I can't read the original Japanese. But what I can read are context clues.

All of the Hero classes equipment contain a line about how they shun excessive adornments. But in all his depictions as Godfrey, he looks very adorned, with his massive cape and fine clothing intermixed with his armor. Something he removes when entering his second phase.

When you bring him down to 50% health, Godfrey tears away his spirit bound companion Serosh, his oppulent armor and clothing, and even his axe. He offers to and I quote, "fight you as Hoarah Loux, Warrior!" And his new boss title above his healthbar reflects that, no longer reading Godfrey, First Elden Lord. This means even he knows that Godfrey is not him, he is Hoarah Loux a man whose people outside of Nepheli and possibly the player...aren't shown in game. There is no location in game where they are, or historically were.

And considering prior to the games start, Hoarah Loux and a large group of people who "Lost the grace of gold" were banished from the lands between to wage war eternally outside of it...I think most of those people were the people of Hoarah Loux's culture. We learn that Marika made Hoarah Loux the Elden Lord in order for him to act as her general, and it would only make sense for his troops to be comprised of the people who came from the same warrior culture he did. That's why I think they are called the "Hero" class. Hoarah Loux's people fought at the front lines of the Golden Order's conquests, became hero's to the common folk and once their use was over, they were banished alongside their leader. This is similar to how in the United States, we call our soldiers "Hero's" but then a disproportionate number of it's soldiers come from it's territories and not it's actual states. Locations that lack government representation and aren't considered US citizens. Such as the people from the American territory of Samoa, Guam, and Peurto Rico.

Because Badlands isn't a location inside of the map we play, and it doesn't fit the way other locations are named. It's a title for a specific type of biome, like Taiga or Bayou. Hoarah Loux is the leader of a people who were subjucated, used as soldiers, seen as too savage to be allowed to keep their names and culture (in Hoarah Loux's case), and then sent away as soon as they were inconvenient to keep around. They don't even get the dignity of having the land qthey hailed from remebered as anything more than a geographical feature.

So to reiterate. The old man who power bombs your character while shirtless is the most political statement in the whole game. If you know what your looking at.

[risingshards]

Sting's final match was so so SO perfect. For the guy who'd always lose when asked and got booked to be such a goober over his career and got such a shitshow wwe run...to see that guy get such a triumphant good defeats evil close to his career, to see him get an undefeated streak in aew....ugh. It's wondeful.

Sting is a wrestler that's really important to me. I didn't watch in like peak 90s wrestling times, but I remember when my brother made a CAW of Sting in HCTP that my 10 year old self was like "that is the coolest wrestler ever." and it took until TNA in january 2006 when he debuted on final resolution, the first wrestling ppv I ever convinced my family to order teaming with my all time #1 wrestler Christian Cage (ty to christian for being genuinely such a nice person to me) for me to be like "oh my god stings fucking awesome?!?!"

In 2014 I had a really shitty life situation. and it fucked me up and I was rocked completely and lost. And I retreated to my partner's house at the time and wrapped myself up in blankets and put on survivor series and sting showed up in wwe. and in all the maelstrom of my life i got to escape for a second and be like. "ok. sting is here. things will be okay. justice will be served." and that was incredibly comforting to me. sting's wwe run endied up being fucking terrible and like my thirtieth "oh god wwe sucks and is horrific for my mental wellbeing" thing. but that debut pulled me away from the bad times.

flash forward to 2020. and the shitty life situation repeated itself like shot for shot. i was lost again. and wouldn't you know it, sting debuts in aew like a day after it happened. and i got to escape again. justice would be served. the good guys win in the end. thankfully, sting's aew run would be so much better than the wwe one and was so so perfect.

so today's very emotional for me. a maybe childish (?) part of me is like "if that thing happens again what do we do if sting doesnt show up and make it feel alright?" but the way sting got to defeat the bad guys one more time, to fight against evil (against the young bucks who were deliciously perfect villains for sting and darby) and to WIN, to not go out like old yeller like every other wrestler retirement angle, is so important to me. sting go to be a fucking real life superhero fighting against evil in the wacky unreal world of wrestling, and helped me through the bullshit, and makes me want to keep fighting in spite of everything. wrestling is silly and weird and seen as fucking stupid bullshit to many who don't watch, but fucking hell I dunno if i'd be here without it, and without people like sting being those kinds of heroes who make the fight worth it. so thank you sting, for everything.

[heart-forge]

do you have beef with any if devs?

H'm I started answering this but I can't tell if it's bait or just curiosity so in case it's bait then the answer is yes and here are all the wonderful IF developers who can go kick rocks:

@extempore-the-game Amy makes Extempore and how rude of her to make me? Choose? She tries to make it up to me by letting me being a journalist who has operated as an undercover wrestler which has given me incredible fighting skill, but the damage has already been done 😔😔

@ataleofcrowns, Cherry who makes a Tale of Crowns and just makes the hell out of it. I usually avoid the charming rogue romances because they all feel very samey to me and then X came and hit me with a goddamn train, which wasn't very period-accurate where did they even get a train to hit and kill me with.

@fiddles-ifs, Fiddles who makes Greenwarden, and who can describe the inside of a human body so vividly that it makes you go 🤔🤔 wondering what he's seen. In addition, wrote me a Big LI for me to fall in love with, and I did. Hook line and sinker.

@llamagirl28, who writes The Bastard of Camelot and what can I say except that she has cruelly manipulated how much I like Arthurian legend and with a sniper's precision hit upon my love for cold ROs who you have to win over and done a super dynamic integration of NB identity in what might have come off as an idiosyncratic setting (if I was the type of person who cared about that kind of thing).

@maneki-mushi who made The Hero's Journey and is making Saint Ceri, both of which I love and also those here who may be below eighteen, one day you'll be old enough to play them but today is not this day !! Both are incredible and I loved playing through Hero's Journey for the exploration of memory and how interesting it is to be a player who actively does good things (or tries to) and yet remembers evil !! It's interesting and fun and I love my "evil" boyfriend and the one that was less of an asshole than I ended up being sdjkhfds.

@anya-dev I haven't seen her around lately but I still love Scout even if it only ever exists in its current state. Even in it's current state, Oliver has bewitched me, body and soul.

@moiraimyths who makes The Good People, which again strangleholds my love for period settings and especially my love of Seelie/Unseelie beef. As when I was young, I saw a hot guy on the Unseelie side and that was that 😔

@argentgames who make the Red Embrace games that. Literally when it launched it was all I could talk about, and it got me to play the game that everyone said was comparable, Vampire: the Masquerade....and I liked this one much better 😅😅

I've almost definitely forgetting many people but I've been neglecting my reading about hotties duties in favour of being a bloke who does fuck all, but uh, abruptly remembering the bit, yes I am....soooo.....angry at these authors.......forrr........making me feel a lot of things 😳🥺

[wanderersrest]

An Abbreviated History of Mecha Part 2: AWAKEN! SUPER ROBOT!!! (1970-1979)

(Read in the voice of Tessho Genda) ITS NAME IS.... MAZINGER.... Z!!!!!!!!!

Welcome back to An Abbreviated History of Mecha. Last time, we covered the origins of mecha by highlighting some of the major works of the time including Godzilla and Ultraman, which are not really mecha but are just as influential to the genre as the other shows mentioned.

Today, we will be moving on to the 70's. Here we will see three extremely iconic entries to the canon make their grand entrances, known to Super Robot Wars fans as the Holy Trinity. We'll also see a lot of the classic mecha tropes become codified with a lot of these entries. So, let's MAZIIIN GO!

Kamen Rider (1971)

Kamen Rider is the second iconic series created by mangaka Shotaro Ishinomori and would be part of the reason why henshin heroes (that is, heroes who transform) would become so popular. More importantly, Kamen Rider would give us one of the most homaged attacks of all time: the Rider Kick! And in case you're wondering, yes, Ishinomori still has one more series worth mentioning.

Kamen Rider, alongside Godzilla and Ultraman, got a 2023 retelling in the form of Shin Kamen Rider, courtesy of Hideaki Anno.

Mazinger Z (1973)

Mazinger Z is one of the many iconic series created by legendary mangaka Go Nagai. If Tetsujin 28 was the original "super robot", Mazinger Z would be the series that would introduce a lot of the tropes now commonly associated with a lot of giant robot anime, including but not limited to:

A robot that has to be piloted from the inside

A chest blaster

Laser eyes

Hot-blooded pilots

The term "super robot"

And most important of all, the rocket punch

Let's just say that there's a good reason why Mazinger Z (and this is just Mazinger Z) is the first of the three pillars of the Holy Trinity. Mazinger also has, in terms of sequels and adaptations:

Great Mazinger

UFO Robot Grendizer

Mazinkaiser

Shin Mazinger Z/Mazinger Edition Z: The Impact

Mazinger Z Infinity

Getter Robo (1974)

Created by Ken Ishikawa with help from Go Nagai, Getter Robo would be the second pillar of the Holy Trinity alongside Mazinger Z. Getter Robo would be important for introducing concepts such as a robot piloted by multiple people and, more importantly, Getter Robo would also introduce us to the combining robot, which is why it requires multiple pilots to man.

Getter Robo would get multiple sequels and spinoffs including, but not limited to:

Getter Robo G

Getter Robo Go

Shin Getter Robo Armageddon!

Shin Getter Robo vs Getter Robo Go

New Getter Robo (not to be confused with Shin Getter Robo)

Getter Robo Devolution

Eventually Ken Ishikawa would pass away before he could wrap up the series with Getter Robo Arc. I will come back to Getter Robo at some point in this series though, but to give you a hint: the series does get a conclusion.

I think I'd also be mistaken not to link to Cheese GX's excellent video retrospective on Getter Robo.

Super Sentai (1975)

Because Shotaro Ishinomori wasn't content with creating two iconic series, he went ahead and made a third: Super Sentai. That's right: Ishinomori created the two most iconic versions of the henshin hero. Super Sentai is worth mentioning here due to the fact that the series would eventually start adding giant robots into the mix. This series would also eventually attract the attention of one Haim Saban, but that's a story for another day.

Microman/Microbots (1974)

Microman (the toy, not the wrestler) was a line of, and I'm not joking when I say this, "Tiny Little Guys" released in 1975 by the toy company Takara. I'm not super familiar with Microman, but I feel it is important to mention Microman here to understand that one of the biggest names in mecha is descended from this line of toys, as it would start out as a spinoff of microman. Something about transforming vehicles the micromen could pilot. Who could know?

Also fun fact, there's a wrestler named Microman.

Brave Raideen (1975)

(We'll have to settle with this clip from Super Robot Wars)

Brave Raideen is a series created by Studio Sunrise and is one of the first giant robots that is considered to be supernatural in origin. Raideen is important in the history of mecha as it is where two important figures would come into play: Yoshiyuki Tomino and Tadao Nagahama. While it is largely overshadowed by other bigger series, Raideen is still important due to it being the first stepping stone for those two directors alone.

Space Battleship Yamato/Star Blazers (1975)

Up next is Leiji Matsumoto's legendary Space Battleship Yamato. This series would be one of those watershed moments in anime history as Yamato would prove that there was, in fact, an audience who wanted more serious war stories. To say that this series isn't that influential would be a mistake, as we will soon see.

Space Battleship Yamato would eventually receive multiple adaptations, including a live-action film and an anime reboot in the new millennium. The success of Yamato would also help pave the way for other Leiji Matsumoto works like Space Pirate Captain Harlock and the Galaxy Railway 999.

The Robot Romance Trilogy (1976-1979)

(Pictured above: Voltes V)

The Robot Romance Trilogy is a thematic trilogy created by Toei and directed by Tadao Nagahama. These series would include:

Super Electromagnetic Robot Combattler V (V as in the letter)

Super Electromagnetic Robot Voltes V (V as in the number)

Fighting General Daimos

The Robot Romance Trilogy is known for building off of the innovations of its peers. Whereas Getter Robo combined by smashing three jets together (and thus was hard to translate into a toy), Combattler V was designed in a way where the parts of the robots actually made sense when combining to form the robot. This also doesn't even touch on the fact this trilogy would also help to popularize things like the five man band (alongside Super Sentai), mecha shows having more serious storylines with melodrama, and funnily enough, the motion capture mecha (specifically Daimos).

Voltes V is also extremely popular in the Philippines. While this isn't unheard of at this time, Voltes V was different in that it was banned from airing on television by the Marcos regime. Speculation behind its ban may be that its themes were similar to the plight of the Filipino people under Marcos, so you could say that Voltes V in particular is a symbol of rebellion in the Philippines. Heck, it was so popular that there now exists a live action Voltes V series filmed in the Philippines.

Zambot 3 & Daitarn 3 (1977 & 1978)

(Pictured above: Zambot 3)

Meanwhile, Yoshiyuki Tomino would continue to push boundaries as he got more into the groove of directing. On top of producing Voltes V (according to Wikipedia), Tomino would work on a few more series before the end of this decade. The first two would help to establish a pattern with Tomino's works, where he would follow up a more serious and depressing series with something more lighthearted and silly. Zambot 3 would help Tomino earn his nickname "Kill 'Em All Tomino," while Daitarn 3 would also show that he knew how to relax when working on a series. Both Zambot 3 and Daitarn 3 were big hits, but the next series would forever cement Tomino as a legendary figure in the world of anime and manga.

Mobile Suit Gundam (1979)

Mobile Suit Gundam, the final pillar of the Holy Trinity, is arguably Yoshiyuki Tomino and Sunrise's single most important series date. Arguably the single most famous mecha of all time, Gundam would be the first giant robot to be treated less as a hero and more as a tool of war, and it would be Gundam who would kick off a new generation of mecha stories that focused more on things like war and how it affects the lives of the characters in these stories. Which is funny, because Gundam was initially a flop at first. Over time, the series would eventually become a hit thanks to its compilation movies as well as the sale of its models and, most important of all, its female fans.

Mobile Suit Gundam would also be a watershed moment in animation history, as it would be the introduction to a lot of people who would also become famous thanks in part to this series. This includes people who worked on the show like Yasuhiko Yoshikazu (the character designer), Kunio Okawara (mechanical designer, and arguably the first credited mechanical designer), and Ichiro Itano (animator, the same man who Itano Circus is named after). Gundam would also be a direct inspiration for one Ryousuke Takahashi, who would begin to really push the boundary for what one could do with military mecha shows.

Conclusion

I hope this was an enjoyable read. Next time, we'll be getting into the 80's, where we will begin to see a lot of series pop up as Japan's economy grows at an exponential rate. We'll also see how these giant machines will come to influence people outside of Japan on top of how they build off of the themes present in the first Gundam.

Will you survive?

[phantasmiac]

pro wrestler!touya au where he’s the oldest son of the todoroki ring dynasty

cw/tw: none except for one nsfw mention (nothing detailed) and a fem!reader

wc: 0.9k

a/n: i need everyone who knows their wwe to know that 1) i am imagining endeavor as the undertaker and 2) the dabi x reader in this is highly inspired by cm punk and aj lee. do with that what you will xx

touya who has one of the most anticipated wrestling debuts of all time at 19 years old, all because he’s the son of pro wrestling legends, rei and endeavor. he’s an instant hit because of his badass persona and alt ring attire (see: jeff hardy), but most notably for his “daredevil” style of wrestling: crazy stunts with tables, ladders, chairs, etc., lots of high flying maneuvers; but he also falls under the brawler category. it all makes up for not being a “powerhouse” wrestler (the ones who are huge and can lift a ton) like his old man or his up and coming little brother natsu. he definitely has some metal entrance song like the ones used in the 2000s (imagine him walking out to metalingus 😫).

touya hates being linked to his parents, and really would have preferred if his siblings hadn’t followed him into the industry — but still hypes up them up during any out of character interviews and supports them as best he can. especially fuyumi bc he knows the women in the industry don’t get the credit they deserve 😡 gives great advice and won’t turn them down if they ask to train with him. but he downright refuses to be involved in any family storylines, he thinks it’s super corny. doesn’t mind being put in real matches against them or tag teaming, just as long as it doesn’t become a whole thing.

touya most often takes on the heel role (aka the bad guy role), but doesn’t mind occasionally acting as a tweener (the anti-hero). his siblings are all faces (good guys). he’s perfect for the role because he’s amazing on a microphone. even though the storylines are planned, all of his segments or promos are written by him and contain a lot of great improv, and they’re always considered iconic by fans, bound to be on a “top 10 wrestling promos of all time” list. he’s just the bad guy you can’t help but root for, even if you’re a fan of his opponent. everyone hates that they love him! on the other hand it kinda sucks because his dad was also a popular heel during his career, so he gets a lot of comparisons.

backstage and out of character, touya is actually a super chill guy. he’s always down to do things for charity, whether it be matches or meeting fans. never says no to a picture or an autograph (unless you’re a dick about it) and has a soft spot for kid fans. you’ll most often find him with his head down listening to music in the locker room, hyping himself up before it’s time to head out to the ring. probably has beef with some other people on the roster because he comes off as arrogant (he’s just reserved and quiet!) and because of his family background. it makes him laugh because he’s really unbothered at the end of the day.

you’re put into a storyline with him where you’re supposed to act as his love interest, and fans are always commenting on how much chemistry you share. the fans eat it up because you’re the first female wrestler touya has ever interacted with both in and out of the ring. most fans thinks you both are probably just really good at acting; but the secret to your chemistry is the hot quickie you have backstage before every segment. you really do start off as coworkers at the beginning, and then friends with benefits, but as the storyline progresses and you’re forced to constantly work and spend time together he really starts to fall for you hard. needless to say you become a power couple pretty quickly and touya can’t even bring himself to be angry at the fact that you’re becoming the next generation rei and endeavor. because he loves and respects you so much 🥹 both as a fellow wrestler and a person.

you’re on the road together 24/7 and touya loves it because he gets to spend every day with his best friend! he loves to train with you, gets so very proud when he sees you pull out a move you’d practiced with him during an actual live match! he’s so funny bc he’s been in this industry for so long and understands that most rivalries aren’t real, but always ends up having animosity towards your opponents in real life 😭 especially if you got injured fighting against them, even if it was a complete accident. you sew and patch up a lot of his attire for him, so he always feels like he has a part of you with him when he goes out there. if you wear any of his siblings merch instead of his he’ll have a pout etched on his face for as long as it takes him to get over it. if your storyline eventually comes to an end he will adamantly refuse to do another romantic one with anyone else.

at the beginning of his career he expected to be one of those wrestlers who’s still in the game in their 50s. but by the time he’s in his mid 30s and you guys are over a decade into your relationship and a couple of years into your marriage, he decides he wants to settle down and have a family with you. so he ends up retiring and fans are heartbroken, but not angry because touya released the sweetest retirement message and they’re so happy for you two 🥰 he does make surprise comebacks once in awhile post retirement, can’t completely stay away from the ring. and now he’s entirely shameless about supporting his siblings. makes your kids become their super fans. sometimes he shows up to events to support them as an audience member, with his babies on his shoulders. he’s just living his peaceful little life knowing that he was able to have a successful career and retired as a legend.

★ a/n pt ii: are there any other dabi stans who had a hardcore wwe phase, is that a subgenre of dabi stan or does the population just consist of me

[guywrestlingaddiction]

That Wrestling Moment: Standing up to your Bully - Madman v Hammer (nrwrestling.com)

How do you take down a bully?  Perhaps you bide your time, let him get over confident, and wait for him to make a mistake before striking?  In this match we see the guy we love to hate, madman Mitch Styles get his own comeuppance.  

Madmen v Hammer (nrwrestling.com)

SPOILER ALERT: I highly recommend viewing this match in its entirety before reading this post.

The Backstory

Madman Mitch Styles was tearing a path through nrwrestling.  He took down everyone in his path.  Now the guy is a rotten bully no doubt but that tall, tanned, muscled body, and most of all, that attitude of his made it hard to peel my eyes away from watching him terrorize the other wrestlers.  

The Action

The wrestling begins as you would expect with the Madman living up to his reputation.  The guy has been terrorizing all the young bucks at NRW and the sexy, do-gooding Hammer might be the next to fall victim to his bullying.  Within a few minutes our hero is trapped in the corner and subjected to a barrage of blows from the bully.  

Madman is not only a heel but a true force to reckon with.  The guy is crazy but nonetheless absolutely captivating. 

I could go on in detail about the 'action' but really it's all just a one-sided slug-fest from a bully pounding away on poor Hammer.  The redeeming factor is that we the audience are treated with that golden sexy body relentlessly beating away at our hero.  You have to give it to Madman, he goes. all. in.

At some point you may question what is going on with Hammer?  The guy is a fit stud and needs to process whatever he's going through fast so he can fight back.  You can't take it from a bully forever.  Bully's are never satisfied. Bully's are never able to stop themselves; they need to be stopped.

The Moment 

It all seemed like the logical conclusion.  Bully's need someone to stand up to them and our moment is of course when Hammer does just that.  The final moments of our match is when Hammer has had enough of our bully.   Is it believable? Well, that's really up to you to decide.  But what we can all agree on is how gratifying it is to watch our obnoxious but deeply sexy bully receive all that payback.  

So what have we learned today?  We see that a match doesn't have to be too real to be satisfying.  This is wrestling after all, and gay wrestling means you never have to apologize, especially not to someone bullying you.