#AS A MUSICIAN AND SOMEONE WHO LOVES MUSIC SO MUCH I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT IT HIT DEEP

[a-very-tired-raven]

Me before watching Vivo: oh im so hyped for this! I havent had a chabce to watch it, and its probably gonna be awesome since mr Lin Manuel Miranda himself is the lead role!

Me after watching Vivo:

[ikaroux]

Zhongli: The Dragon Dance. (Part 1) (EN)

Version française

f!reader

Aaaah Zhongli, my sweet Zhongli, writing about followers is really painful in itself given their longevity... I didn't come here to suffer, okay! *crying in a corner*

Les Ost pour ce chapitre :

Broken Hero Onmyoji

Rabia Honkai impact

Masterlist

The port city of Liyue was abuzz with excitement as the New Year's Eve celebration took place. The streets were brightened by the laughter and chatter of passers-by and lit by paper lanterns decorated with cut-out designs of dragons, maple leaves, herons and more. Various flowers from the region decorated every part of the city, right down to the ponds with golden carp. You could see dancers strutting a flexible dragon figure in the image of the Geo Archon in the streets. Street vendors shouted at the top of their voices, selling the merits of their goods or the deliciousness of their food. Everything seemed beautiful and magical.

You had come from Mondstadt to spend the end-of-year celebrations here, with some friends who lived in the city. They had suggested that you go and see the fireworks which would take place later in the evening, but your curiosity led you to walk through the streets of Liyue alone before joining your friends.

This year the festival organisers asked the inhabitants of Liyue and their guests to wear a mask which was offered to them by the city. You knew that the festival was to end with a kind of masked ball that would take place all over the city, with musicians placed here and there, sometimes in the corridors overhanging the streets or in the harbour by the sea.

The organisers of the ball wanted everyone to be able to enjoy a moment of joy and happiness without fear, without fear of the gaze of others.

You would walk along the wooden quays, your fox mask partially covering your face. You gazed at the reflection of the city lights on the surface of the water, a smile on your face. The street was crowded but you loved it, the atmosphere was so similar to your beloved city.

As you turned your gaze to observe the quay parallel to yours, you noticed the refined figure of a tall man. His posture was refined and elegant, he stood upright with his arms crossed behind his back and his eyes fixed on the horizon. He wore a long coat that matched his build perfectly, his hair, tied back in a simple tail, swayed in the sea breeze. He wore a golden mask with the image of a dragon.

The man seemed to notice your gaze lingering on him, turning his face towards you. The masks only hid the upper part of the faces, so you could see the soft smile on his lips. Embarrassed, you ran away, slipping through the crowd of people enjoying the shops on the harbour.

As you reached the centre of the city, the sweet sounds of the typical instruments of the region echoed through the streets. You could recognise the erhu among all the instruments that were playing.

Men, women and children began to dance happily, some laughing, others giving each other longing looks.

Seduced by the warm and loving atmosphere, your lips stretched into a wide smile before quickly disappearing as a large gloved hand reached for yours. You quickly turned to see who had surprised you, thinking at first that it was one of your friends who had found you. You opened your eyes wide when you recognised the man in the dragon mask. He pulled you to him, placing his free hand on your hip, he began to dance with you, guiding you perfectly to the rhythm of the music. You were mesmerised by his amber eyes watching you intently under his mask, the soft smile on his face making your cheeks warm.

You gradually began to relax in his arms, laughing out loud as he twirled you around before pulling you back against him, a husky laugh gently rising from his throat at your adorable reactions. After several minutes of energetic dancing, he moved his hand up your back, pulling you closer to him in a slower, more sensual dance. He gently placed his cheek on the top of your head as your face rested on his chest, breathing in the lily scent that wafted from him. As you swayed gently on your feet, he picked up a silk flower that decorated one of the columns that littered the street, supporting the upper floors of the houses. He placed the little pink button in your hair (colour), admiring how well it suited you.

Your dance was suddenly interrupted when the dull sound of fireworks was added to the melody of the musical instruments, your attention instantly turned to the play of light in the sky. Your pupils shone with a new brilliance at the sight.

Dazzled by the beauty of the fireworks, you glanced at your mysterious escort, hoping that he was enjoying the show as much as you were.

Your cheeks turned a deep red as you noticed his eyes were fixed on you, your hands still linked together. He moved his face closer to you, pushing a few strands of hair out of the way.

"Thank you for the evening. "he whispered in your ear.

Without giving you time to answer, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss on it. He reluctantly let go of you before stepping back, giving you one last look before disappearing into the crowd.

"No, wait... don't go... your name... give me your name!"

But now he was out of your sight, regret tainting your heart. Why didn't you ask him before?

"(Y/N)! "

Hu Tao's voice called to you in the distance, bringing you out of your thoughts. She was accompanied by Xiangling, Chongyun and Xingqiu who waved their hands at you, their faces lit up with big smiles. Taking one last look at the place where your mysterious date had disappeared, you finally joined your friends, ending the evening with them.

Zhongli was sitting on the terrace of his flat, a steaming cup of tea in his hands. His gaze was lost in contemplation of the liquid in its container.

He was still wondering why he had left without asking your name. Even after living for thousands of years, he still felt a little foolish.

Perhaps he should have invited you to share a cup of tea with him? Perhaps he should have taken off his mask and introduced himself to you properly?

Zhongli had rarely had regrets in his long life and today was one of those rare moments. A sigh escaped his lips, from the moment he had met your gaze on the docks, you had intrigued him. He had immediately noticed from your manner that you were not from Liyue. From Mondstadt perhaps? That's what your clothes suggested.

For some reason, you dodged his gaze when he turned his attention to you, running away from the platform that separated you from him.

Curiously, Zhongli couldn't help but follow you, speeding up to avoid losing sight of you. Eventually he caught up with you, admiring your wondering eyes for a few seconds. He would have liked to take off that fox mask to better admire you, why? He didn't know. What he did know was that at that moment he wanted to share an intimate moment with you, wanting to create a peaceful and sweet memory with a stranger whose smile was brighter than the most precious of diamonds.

Zhongli had felt an intense happiness arise in him as you relaxed in his arms. He savoured the breath you projected on him as your head rested on his chest, your warmth comforted him, your laughter fascinated him, your eyes (colour) captivated him. Why was he gone? Why had he left? He might never have the opportunity to see you again. Zhongli knew, after accumulating 6,000 years of knowledge and wisdom, that feeling desire or attraction for a mortal could become something painful for both you and him. Zhongli might not be the Geo Archon anymore, but he was still a follower with a long life expectancy...

Yes, he knew... but knowing didn't stop you from hoping.

You had a hard time to wake up, the evening of the new year having been rather animated. After the fireworks, you all went to Xiangling's house to have a last drink, without alcohol for some of you, Hu Tao, Xingqiu and Xiangling taking care of the atmosphere of your little party. You were able to talk with Chongyun about your evening, the magic that the stranger in the dragon mask had worked on you still haunting you. Chongyun had listened patiently before suggesting that you might try to look for him in town tomorrow, and even though the mask had prevented you from seeing him, his presence remained intact in your mind.

So you slept at Xiangling's house. When you woke up, she was preparing breakfast with a big smile on her face. Xiangling had prepared a home-made hangover remedy for you with your meal made of blue lily of the valley flower, sweet flower and apple juice extract.

"Thank you Xiang, it's delicious."

"You're welcome (Y/n). And you have to be in shape for today!"

"Fit? Why?"

"Didn't Hu Tao tell you? We're going to show you around the city today. And then..." -She walked over to you, her hand covering the side of her mouth as if to tell you a secret. You moved closer to her.- "We need to find your handsome stranger in the dragon mask!."

You choked on your food.

"H-How did you...I didn't...!"

"Chongyun told me about it last night before he left! He didn't like seeing you so sad so he thought we could look together today."

You sighed, desperate. You couldn't blame Chongyun, after all you hadn't told him to keep it to himself and besides this boy was far too adorable to be sulking.

After you finished eating you went to take a shower before changing your clothes, combing your hair and finally applying some light makeup to your face. Hu Tao met you downstairs at Xiangling's flat, finishing his discussion with an elderly lady who greeted you with a brief nod before leaving.

"Good! (Y/n) it's time we took care of your case."

"My case huh..."

Hu tao grabbed your arm, leading you into the sparsely populated streets of Liyue. She showed you some shops while you described your dance partner's appearance to her.

"A tall, elegant and polite man with a long coat you say? Eeeeh... Reminds me of someone."

Hu Tao paused for a moment to think before being interrupted by the deep voice of a man calling out to him.

"Hu Tao there you are, I have a small... favor..."

His amber eyes met your eyes (colour), a long silence settled between the four of you, Hu tao and Xiangling swinging their eyes towards you and then the newcomer. The man did not take his eyes off you, his mouth slightly open. It was him, you were sure, it was him!

Zhongli looked at you without saying anything, too amazed to find you so easily when he had just come to Hu Tao to ask for his help. He had recognised your eyes from the moment he saw them.

He cautiously approached you, forgetting everything around him. He took your hand in his, a gentle smile appearing on the delicate features of his face. You were even more beautiful than he had imagined. He could feel your fingers trembling with emotion in his hand, tightening it to soothe you.

"Ah- I, you..."

Zhongli paid no attention to Hu Tao and Xiangling's curious looks. He was focused on you, only on you. Drawing you to him, his hand again on your lower back, he began a few dance steps to assure you that it was really him. Your tears rolled down your cheeks as a smile lit up your face. Several minutes passed before he stopped twirling you around to the beat of his heart.

"What is your name?"

"(Y/n)"

"(Y/n), what a beautiful name." -He brought your hand still buried comfortably in his to his lips, placing the most delicate of kisses.- "Zhongli. May I invite you to drink tea with me?"

"With pleasure."

Zhongli knew that forging bonds with a mortal could be painful.

He knew but... he would take that risk.

[mercy-burning]

Say You’ll Remember Me (Songbird Chapter 1)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Summary: After performing at open mic night at a bar downtown, Reader meets someone that could change everything for her. Rating: 18+ Warnings: Smut (oral sex - male and female receiving, fingering, male masturbation, cockwarming, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie), Language Word Count: 7.1k

SERIES MASTERLIST SERIES PLAYLIST (new songs added with the release of each chapter)

***

Love never came easy to me. Truth be told, a lot of things never came easy to me, and I was okay with that, but love was probably the one thing I wish I could just let myself feel with no problem.

For as long as I could remember, I've wanted to be in love with someone as much as I'd seen my parents love each other. My older sister got a boyfriend when she was 17 and I was 11, and they've been together ever since. They're married with two children now, and just as in love now as they'd been when they met.

I've never seen anyone love the way I've seen my family love, but for some reason I was never able to give as much as them. I mean, I felt love obviously, but it was never that all-consuming, life-changing love that was supposed to make your head spin and your soul ache.

Maybe I just never found the right person, but every relationship I've ever been in ended because of my inability to give out as much love as I was given. And that's not to say that I didn't care about the people I've dated, they were all really great people in fact... But I could never fully be in it, you know? Some people give their all to another person, would do anything and everything for them if it meant they got to spend the rest of their lives together, but I never felt that. Sure, I could have settled in any of my relationships, but if I was going to actually spend my time building a life with another person, I was going to really feel like I needed it to survive. Or, like I deserved it, if I was going to go that far.

For the past few years I've pretty much given up on relationships. I've been on a few dates, had a few hookups here and there, but at this point I was almost certain that love wouldn't find me any time soon.

However, the one thing that filled that love-shaped void in my soul was music. Words, melodies, stories... It all made me feel the way I was convinced love was supposed to make you feel. Even if I never wrote songs about my (positive) experiences with love, I loved love songs, and most music in general. That was the one thing I was sure of. Music was the one and only love I knew I could count on. It kept me safe, it ensured that I wasn't alone, and it hugged me in a way where I've never felt more at home.

Which would explain why I was here on a Friday night, singing in front of an entire crowded bar. Performing and sharing my music with people was the best way I knew how to outwardly show... well, anything about myself, really. I didn't go to open mic nights often, but when I did it felt better than anything in the world.

Tonight was... different, though. Not in a bad way, of course, but there was something in the air that made me feel like something great was going to happen.

It was the same feeling I got whenever I knew I was about to get laid.

Now, say what you want about it, about me, but even if I sucked at finding love I sure knew how to have one-night stands. I loved sex. It was another way I was able to get that happy rush of feelings while being with another person without actually having to be in love with them. Truly, sex was the perfect outlet for me, and my music was a great tool that helped me get it. Not that I needed help—if I wanted sex bad enough I could easily look for it—but the fact that I could play several instruments and sing well definitely made things easier.

And tonight I wanted it bad.

I hadn't realized it until I tried to figure out what song to sing for open mic night, and in turn came to the conclusion that I hadn't had sex with another human being in about a month. Which wasn't a bad thing by any means, but it didn't change the fact that I wanted someone else to help me out in chasing that high this time.

So I opted to go with a cover of a song I knew would do the job no matter what. I brought my electric guitar with me and mirrored the Wildest Dreams performance that Taylor Swift did from the GRAMMY Museum. The song itself was sexy and sweet, but with the electric guitar and the electric guitar only, it made for less sweet and more sexy. I'd always loved that performance from the second I saw it, so as soon as I was able, I bought an electric guitar and taught myself to play it. It was a hit every time I performed it.

I was wearing a maroon, long sleeved turtle-neck crop top that exposed my belly-button ring (which was sparkling silver and caught the light in the bar beautifully, if I were to say so myself), a pair of tight jeans, and black glittery heels that I only ever pulled out when I was feeling brave. My hair was half-up and half-down, leaving a good amount of my face exposed which donned silver eyeliner, sheer lip gloss, and my eyebrow ring. Paired all together with my black and white guitar and shiny nail polish that matched the deep maroon of my shirt, I felt hot as hell. Better than I'd felt in a while if I was being honest.

It felt even better when I was performing. I was confident in my abilities as a musician, to which I considered myself fortunate. If only I could have been that confident in other departments, I feel like I would have been dead-set for life.

But tonight I didn't want to think about that.

I played the song just as well as I had every other time. Probably even better, if only for the fact that I was working to get myself a lay. But whatever the scenario, I was feeling good and that's all I'd ever wanted to accomplish.

I saw him immediately after I sang the last note and the final chord of my guitar faded out into the applause.

He's just... where my eyes decided to wander, I guess. I don't know exactly what it was, but I was thankful for it, even though I almost forgot to breathe with the way he looked back at me. I couldn't tell what color his eyes were because of how far away he was, but I'd have bet on my life that they were some shade of brown. He bit his lip rather nervously when he noticed me staring at him, unable to tear my eyes way, but nevertheless he kept his gaze trained on me. It was so strong I could have sworn they burned holes into my soul.

Or, more likely, my libido.

Either way, I knew it then, when I packed up my guitar and walked through the crowd to find him, that I wasn't going home alone for the first night in weeks.

That was a good feeling.

So good, in fact, that I allowed myself to be a little more vulnerable than normal. It wasn't anything huge, but it also wasn't like me at all.

While generally, guys are more notorious to be the ones kicking out the women after a one-night stand, I always found it the opposite. I hated waking up in the morning and having to kick some dude out of my apartment. They always put up some sort of fight when it came time to leave, and I didn't get why. All the women I've hooked up with were easier to communicate with on that front, so I didn't mind as much, but still made it a point to be the one coming and going no matter who I slept with.

There was something different about this guy, though. Again, my sex drive was probably getting the better of me, so it maybe wasn't the best idea to let him come to my apartment, but I truly believe that a part of me wanted this man to see where I lived. I... don't know what it was, or why it happened, but it felt exciting. It felt new. It sparked some newfound adventure in me that I didn't really know I craved until I had it.

That being said, I could almost tell immediately within minutes of talking to him that he was going to be a hard one to get to leave. But the thing is...

I didn't mind that.

Something deep inside me wanted to feel what it was like to wrap this man around my finger, to have him so invested in me that he didn't want to leave me, and it was a weird feeling. I didn't know what to do with it, exactly, other than test the waters and see what was going to come of it.

He was about to tell me his name. That's when I started to realize it was a bad idea, and I was already in a vulnerable position. So I held my hand out to his face, pressing my pointer finger to his lips and seductively licking my own.

"No names. Is that okay?"

Something in those brown eyes (I was right) practically begged me to let him say his name, and a part of me wanted to know what it was just so I could scream it. But I knew that if I knew his name, I was ultimately going to be in trouble.

Like I said, there was something different about him. I didn't know what it was, and I didn't want to know because if I did, then I was going to be even deeper in uncharted territory. Besides, if anything the mystery of having no names would make this even sexier. Right?

Reluctantly he nodded, and I slid my finger down his lips and under his chin, then over his throat. I saw the goosebumps form on his skin as I went lower, lightly over the navy blue sweater he was wearing and stopping at his lower stomach. I grabbed one of his belt loops and pulled him close to me, smiling softly as his eyes never stopped searching mine.

"You ready to show me a good time, Pretty Boy?"

He exhaled at the nickname , but I couldn't tell if it was from nerves or what... Either way, he said, "Yes," and I twisted his belt loop tighter with a wink.

***

She was the most captivating woman I think I'd ever seen.

She commanded every room she was in, made everyone pay attention to her, and even if she couldn't sing or play the guitar the effect would have been the same. Granted, I only ever saw her in the bar. So, technically only one room.

But it was about to be two.

I didn't even want to be in the bar, and I was going to leave since Derek, Emily, and Penelope ditched me for their own endeavors, but at the very last second a voice in the speakers cut through the radio-generated music announced that someone would be performing, officially kicking off open mic night.

It wasn't that that stopped me. But it was her name.

Y/N.

I had to wonder if, when she said, 'No names," she remembered or even knew that I'd already known it. Or maybe she just didn't want to know my name. Whatever that meant, it didn't deter me in any way from trying to take up any space or time that she had. After she locked eyes with me on stage, I sent out so many signals, hoping to whatever higher power was up there, if any, that she would come to me. I just... needed to know her. To see her up close.

Truthfully I don't know what made me think I had the right amount of confidence or skill to do anything other than babble incoherently or just stare in her presence, but thankfully she didn't have much of a knack for talking.

When she finally stood in front of me, I didn't know where to look. I knew ultimately that I should look at her face, but damn it if I couldn't help but look at all of her, my stomach naturally doing flips when I caught sight of her belly-button ring, and... Her hands... Good God, I couldn't stop staring at her hands. I realized once she was closer that that's mainly what I looked at while she was on stage. The way her fingers worked the guitar, making it look like it was the easiest thing in the world, it was enough to send me into a tailspin.

Truthfully I don't think there was one single flaw about her. Naturally all human beings have flaws, but as far as I could tell, from this first meeting, this woman was nothing but an angel sent from Heaven, specifically to destroy me.

My favorite part about her, though, was by far her voice. I didn't listen to much mainstream music, but if it sounded anything like that, then I wanted to hear all of it.

Forget angel... She was a siren.

Yeah. That was the perfect way to describe her.

And when she touched me...

I'm pretty sure I blacked out.

I say pretty sure, because I distinctly remember telling her, "Yes," when she'd asked me indirectly to leave with her, but everything else only came in one-second flashes. A moment where I was in her car, and more clearly a moment when she pulled me out of it and shoved me against the door after she closed it, running her glorious hands through my hair and attacking my neck with harsh, sloppy, butterfly-inducing kisses.

But I made myself remember when we were actually in the apartment, because there was no way I was going to let myself forget that moment.

So I was completely well-aware of everything around me when she unlocked the door, pulled me inside, and shoved me against another door for a second time that night. This time she kissed my lips, and I all but melted into her. Her tongue didn't waste any time slipping into my mouth, but I didn't waste any time trying to fight it. I would have given her anything she wanted, she didn't even have to ask for it.

That being said, she broke away from me, looked me dead in the eye, and asked, "Can I take your pants off?"

I nodded eagerly, choking out a breathy, "God, yes," as best as I could.

That seemed to be what she was looking for, because she all but groaned as she squatted on the floor and worked at my belt. I didn't know what to do with myself, my hands seeming to wander aimlessly before settling behind me on the door. Once she got my pants down, she looked up at me through those silver-painted eyelids and leaned forward, pressing a hot, wet kiss to my dick through my underwear.

Any other time in this sort of situation, I most likely would have felt embarrassed by whimpering the way I did, but seeing the primal lust widen her eyes as I did it completely erased any doubt I ever had. By the time she pulled my boxers down and licked a large, slow line up the underside of my dick, those doubts were completely wiped off the board, no evidence of them ever having been there.

I wanted to look at her more than anything, to memorize the way she looked wrapped around me, but my eyes wouldn't stay open. Everything I was feeling, every sensation that ran through my veins, every hot lick of her tongue as it swirled around my tip, every small stroke of her hand when she took a break to whisper filthy things to me... It all rendered me completely unable to think straight.

At one point I was almost at the breaking point, and she knew it, too, because she pulled away from me completely and stood straight, running one of her hands along the inside of my thigh as she went up. I opened my eyes to meet her, her mouth slick with a smear of her lip gloss and her saliva. She looked like she was on the brink of tears, but none of them had fallen. But the gleam in her eye, that's what stood out to me. She was so utterly consumed with burning desire that I would have done anything to satiate every need she had.

She waited a beat, studying my face and the way my lips were no doubt still smeared with her lip gloss. And then she grabbed one of my hands and brought it to cup her crotch, tilting her head to the side and practically sighing at the touch.

"Aren't you going to return the favor, Pretty Boy?"

My first instinct was to tell her I needed a second to breathe. But somehow I knew I wouldn't be breathing well regardless of what happened. I stumbled out of my shoes and pants as quickly as I could, using my hand to lightly rub along the seam of her jeans. As soon as I was free of constraints, I made a point to turn us around so she was the one with her back against the door. I helped her pull her pants off, and once they were, along with her heels, I draped one of her legs around my shoulder so the process would be easier for the both of us.

I've only ever gone down on a woman a few times, so it was safe to say I was a little nervous that I wouldn't be able to satisfy her. But even if I hadn't had much practice, I knew I was a good listener. I practically read people for a living, and I knew how to read behavior and body language. So I knew that that would be my strong suit here.

That being said, I did have some idea of where to start. So I looked up at her while I brought my tongue out to her panties, lightly dragging the tip of it along the seam that met the corner of  her thigh. On my way to the other side I pressed the lightest of kisses to where her clit would be through the fabric, and then repeated the process a few times, feeling her squirm beneath me. Once I could tell she was getting close to frustrated, I made it a point to drag my tongue upwards in a long swipe until I reached her clit. I kissed it again before using one of my fingers to come up and slide under the fabric, though not pushing it entirely aside.

She sighed out as my finger ran along the very tops of her lips. When I pushed it in just the slightest, gathering her wetness as my tongue still gently worked at her clit through her panties, I took the moment to look up at her.

If she wasn't already the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and in that moment she was even more perfect, her lip bit and her eyes on the verge of fluttering closed, I could only imagine what she would look like when I was inside of her.

I almost collapsed thinking about it, but went back to my task quickly, knowing that if I stopped thinking for once in my life then I wouldn't have to imagine it, and I could experience it instead.

So I finally pulled her panties aside and used the tip of my tongue again to taste her, just as lightly as I'd done it before. Only rather than fabric I was met with the smooth, slick taste of her pussy. I think I could actually hear her tremble under me as I flicked my tongue over her clit a few times, though everything I was feeling in that moment was so strong that it was more likely that I was losing every ability to think straight.

As time progressed I deepened my every movement, bringing my tongue deeper and harder through her gradually until the point where I was practically eating her out like a man starved. You could argue that I was starved for her in every sense of the word, but that moment wasn't about me. I was focused solely on making her feel good, paying attention to how tightly she gripped my hair when I briefly sucked on her clit, or the way she bucked her hips forward whenever I pushed my tongue inside of her as far as I could will it.

She seemed to like it best, though, when my fingers pumped slowly in and out of her in tandem with each swirl of my tongue around her clit. I took my time, savoring every second I could as my eyes stayed shut. I could barely keep them open.

When I finally did look up her, that seemed to finally be the thing that pushed her over the edge. Well, started to, anyway.

"Wait," she breathed, and for a second I thought maybe I'd done something wrong. I pulled away from her and raised an eyebrow, and all she did was look down at me, her eyes just as lust blown as they'd been before, if not even more. "I want you to edge me, can you do that? Just... keep bringing me there, but don't give me what I want. Not until I tell you to."

"Anything," I told her truthfully, keeping my eyes locked with hers as I brought my tongue to her once more. She shuddered under my touch as I worked at her clit again, quickly flicking over it as my fingers came up to hold her hips. It wasn't long before I brought her to the edge for the second time that night, and this time when I pulled away, I leaned my head into her thigh, pressing soft kisses to the inside. She was so focused on watching my face that she must not have noticed my fingers coming to slide into her again. She fluttered her eyes closed and leaned her head against the door with a soft thud as I fingered her, quickly picking up the pace as my tongue came out to lick at her thigh before I bit into it softly.

"Fuck, you're so fucking good with your hands," she managed to say through a moan.

I laughed a little, glancing over at her hands briefly and just letting the words fly from my mouth. "You're one to talk. The way you played that guitar? The way you touch me? Good God..."

She hummed hungrily, opening her eyes and pulling me up by my hair to pull me away from her. Her leg dropped from my shoulder and I stood up to meet her, towering over her by a good four to five inches.

For a moment we just stood there and stared at each other, both pants-less and desperate for each other but unwilling to do anything about it.

Until she pulled at my hair, craning my head to the side so she had access to my neck before running one of her hands down the side of my face, neck, and finding purchase gripping my shoulder. Her nails lightly scratched at my skin, sending a mess of goosebumps down my whole body, right before she took the other one and grabbed my bare ass.

"Baby, I've barely even touched you, yet."

I don't know what it was that made me so bold, but I smirked as both of her hands squeezed, causing her fingernails to leave indents into the skin on my right shoulder and my left ass cheek. "Touch me, then."

She was more than happy to oblige. Within seconds, both of her hands were slipping up my sweater and roaming my back and stomach as she leaned up and kissed me again. I met her lips happily, allowing her all the access she wanted to my tongue. At this point I was growing restless, wanting more than anything in the world to have her push me onto the bed, or the couch, or even the floor, and do to me whatever she saw fit.

My desperation must have broke the surface somehow, manifested in a way I hadn't noticed, because she laughed against my mouth, pushing me away and ripping off her shirt in one fluid motion. Which left her in only a grey bra that matched her panties.

"Take off your shirt," she said.

I didn't hesitate, doing as I was told and tossing it on the floor with our other clothes.

"Go sit on the couch."

I went there as quickly as I could, only feeling slightly embarrassed being the only one completely naked. But almost as soon as I sat down on her couch—truthfully one of the most comfortable ones I'd ever been on—she'd come up behind me and started massaging my scalp. I closed my eyes at the way it almost lolled me to sleep. If she did that any longer, I'm sure I would have.

Eventually, though, she slid her fingers down my neck and over my shoulders, resting them finally on my bare chest and drawing circles. She brought her lips down to my right ear and grazed it with her teeth before whispering, "Touch yourself for me? Go slow."

I didn't have to be told twice. As I'd quickly learned, I was pretty sure this woman could have done anything she wanted to me and I wouldn't have rejected her.

My hand firmly gripped my dick and went slow, just like she'd asked. With every long, meaningful stroke, she mirrored it with a swipe of her tongue along my neck. Her hands remained at my chest, reaching down to circle my nipples in very light, goosebump-inducing motions.

"Faster," she told me, and I listened. Each stroke of my hand was met with even faster, sloppier kisses along my neck and jawline, and I could have sworn I felt her fingernails digging themselves harshly into my chest.

"Faster."

By this point I was occasionally bucking my hips forward to meet my hand, and Y/N laughed lowly against my jaw, mumbling against it. "You wanna cum, Pretty Boy?"

"Not... Not yet," I stuttered truthfully.

"Aww," she cooed, tilting my head to the side and giving me a kiss on the mouth. It was probably the sweetest kiss we shared that night. "You want to cum inside me, don't you?"

She kissed me again immediately after she said it, and I moaned into her mouth, my hand working faster. If she didn't stop me, I was going to be done for, and I knew I wouldn't be able to go again. Not for a few hours at least. And I didn't know how long she'd want me to stay, or what we would even do while we waited.

Thankfully she seemed to take some semblance of pity on me, because she brought her hands away from my body, pulling back completely and telling me to stop.

I removed my hand and practically sighed in relief. I waited for further instruction, a sound, a touch, anything... But I almost had the wind knocked out of me when she appeared in front of me, having taken off her bra and underwear. What I found shouldn't have surprised me, but somehow it did. This woman was just full of surprises.

She had nipple piercings that matched the silver color of her eyebrow ring, not sparkly like the belly-button ring, but it was the cherry on top to what I'd already found practically perfect in every way.

As she sauntered to me, I couldn't decide where to look. Much like before. So I started from the bottom and worked my way up, eventually meeting her eyes when she straddled me on the couch and took my face in her hands.

"You clean?"

"Yes," I stated clearly, not wanting any signals to get crossed. I even nodded to accentuate my point.

"Good. Me, too. And I happen to be on birth control, so..." She leaned into my ear again and ground her hips into mine, the hot wetness of her pussy slightly grazing my dick. I almost fainted right there. "You can cum inside me all you want..."

She bit down on my shoulder then, and I groaned, bringing my hands to rest at her hips.

Then she pulled back and looked me in the eye again, grabbing my dick and lifting her hips to hover above it. She sunk down completely and quickly, letting me adjust to the feeling for all of two seconds before she gripped my chin in her right hand and smiled, batting her eyelashes. "But only when I tell you. You can't cum without my permission, got it?"

I breathed out a weak, "Yes," and then she got up and sank right back down, setting a quick and steady pace right away.

Both of her hands gripped my shoulders while mine stayed planted firmly around her waist, and if they were too tight she didn't say. In fact, by the look on her face I judged she probably enjoyed how tightly I was gripping her. So I decided to test it out. And sure enough, every time I let up my grip on her waist she would clench around me and move a little faster, making my grip tighten, and then she hummed, digging her nails into my shoulders.

Every high moan and whimper she let out as she rode me was just as melodic and beautiful as her voice when she sang. Added to the way she moved and the way she worked her hands, she was a rhythm all her own, constantly creating some sort of song, some piece of art that begged to be heard, to be felt in the deepest part of any soul that would embrace it...

I wanted it to last forever. I wanted to drown in her song forever.

Maybe that was a little dramatic. I mean, I only just met this woman under two hours ago at least (I wasn't sure how much time had passed truthfully), didn't know a single thing about her other than her first name, her musical ability, and her body. And all she knew about me was... well, my body.

Regardless, I was determined to make this last as long as I could, so I let go of her hips and brought my fingers to comb lightly through her hair, bringing her head up from the crook of my neck to meet mine, our foreheads touched together.

As if she knew what I was thinking, she slowed her hips, and then pressed her lips to mine gently. I'm pretty sure I felt my heart melt.

"What's wrong? Not gonna last much longer?"

I couldn't tell if it was a taunt or a genuine question. Either way, I shook my head and cradled her face. "I don't think so... But I want this to last."

"Hmm," she contemplated, but not for long, because seconds later she stopped moving her hips altogether and stayed sitting on my dick. She leaned back a little, bringing her hands to rest on her thighs as she took me in. "Well, then I guess I'll have to get creative."

I genuinely had no clue what she was about to do, but when she moved one of her hands to her breast and pinched at her nipple, I didn't care one way or the other. I was curious, sure, but ultimately I knew I would welcome whatever she did.

"I noticed you've been eyeing my piercings all night," she said sweetly, continuing to play with her nipples. She bit her lip softly before grinding down onto me and making me suck in a breath. "But I have to say, these two are my favorites... Aren't they pretty?"

"Fuck, they're beautiful," I breathed, splaying my hands over her stomach. "You're beautiful..."

"Aww,” she drawled. “Thanks."

Then she promptly removed her hands from herself, grabbed my wrists, and brought them to her breasts. My hands instinctively squeezed, feeling the contrast of soft skin and cold metal in my palms. I licked my lips before flicking my eyes up to meet hers. "Can I?"

"You can do whatever you want, baby," she purred, grinding her hips once more. A groan ripped from my throat before I leaned forward and brought her right nipple into my mouth, immediately swirling my tongue around the metal of her piercing. I think she might have groaned also, but I was so caught up in the way she grinded onto me and the feel of her skin on my tongue that I couldn't tell you for sure.

I kissed across her chest until I reached her other nipple, and gave it the same careful attention. Meanwhile I suddenly felt her hand slip down between our bodies so she could touch her clit. I brought my head up and peppered kisses up her neck.

"Let me help," I whispered against her skin, bringing one of my hands to replace hers.

She grabbed my wrist before I could get there. "No, keep doing what you're doing. Please..."

And that was that. I moved my mouth back down her neck, down the slope of her breast, and went back to flicking and swirling my tongue over her nipples. Eventually I took one and just slightly tugged at it with my teeth, causing her to buck her hips forward and send a shockwave of energy through me. At that point I was pretty sure I was almost feral with need, not caring how long it took anymore.

So right after she brought herself to orgasm, the movements on her clit slowing to a stop, I shifted our weight and pinned her to the couch so that her back was arched off the armrest. With an amused laugh, she wrapped her legs around my waist as I held one of my hands to the back of her head, the other on her waist, and pushed into her with one, long, fluid thrust forward.

I didn't waste any time with adjustments. I didn't care that my knee was only slightly hurting at the angle it was placed in. The only thing I cared about right then was fucking this woman so good she'd have to remember me. Which wasn't like me at all, but I didn't care.

So that's what I did. My hips set a ruthless, quick pace that had her sliding back until she was almost off the couch, the only thing keeping her anchored being my arm cradling her neck and head and her legs wrapping around my waist. Her heels dug brutally into my lower back, and if I had to guess, they were probably going to leave bruises. Not to mention her hands were clawing desperately at my shoulders to hold on, grabbing any skin she could as I pounded her into the arm of the couch.

I tried to keep my head up, but I was falling into oblivion. And I think she knew it, too, because she used her hands to keep me upwards, even doing so much as looking down between our bodies as best as she could to see me drilling my hips forward. The sight seemed to send her into a tailspin, because she bit her lip and groaned out.

"Fuuuuck, baby, just like that, don't stop, don't stopdon'tstopdon'tst—"

She came hard and fast, trying her best to keep her eyes open, right before looking up at my face. She clenched around me, and I knew I was done for. Any second now and I would finish. Just before it happened, she slid her hands up my neck, brushed the hair from my face, and brought me down to kiss her.

I moaned in her mouth as I came, keeping my hips pressed flush to hers and holding myself deep inside her. She moaned right back, swiping her tongue against mine as she squeezed her whole body around me and pulled me impossibly closer to her. In that moment, I didn't feel like it was just an orgasm... Which might sound cheesy and kind of stupid in retrospect, but it really felt that way. Right then, with her whole body holding mine and daring itself not to let go, it felt like every sense I had was stripped away and all that was left of me was her. As good as it felt to cum, it felt even better just being wrapped up in her in every capacity.

And that was why—even after we were finished and exhausted—we stayed just like that, wrapped up together on the couch with our lips moving lazily together until I felt myself start to drift off.

At that point, she'd somehow managed to pull me off of her and lean me back into the position I'd been in before, and my eyes struggled to stay open.

"I'm gonna go clean up," I thought I heard her say, and I wondered how she had the energy and stamina to stand up and walk around. But then again, I was so exhausted that I wasn't sure if anything that happened after we came down from our highs was even a coherent experience.

That being said, I managed to mutter an "Okay," while she disappeared and I tried to catch my breath. It only took about a minute before I realized that I was alone, and that she'd left to clean up the mess that I made. That seemed to snap me out of it, though not by much; I was still a little light-headed when I got up from the couch and started to collect my clothes from the floor.

I almost had my pants all the way on when I heard her voice from behind me.

"You don't have to leave... if you don't want."

I turned to face her, noticing that she was wearing a large nightshirt and probably nothing else. Even after she'd just gotten obliterated on the couch she still managed to look like the most angelic thing I'd ever seen. Or maybe I hadn't actually done as well as I thought, and she was the one who'd obliterated me... Either way, I felt bad for staying, especially knowing that she didn't even want to know my name.

So I shrugged, stifling a yawn. "No, it's fine, I... I should go. I don't want to intrude or anything, I—"

"Oh, please," she scoffed, walking up to me and placing a soft hand on my forearm. "As far as intrusion goes, I think we're way past apologies, don't you think?"

I smiled at that, admittedly leaning into her touch as her hand drifted up and to my cheek. "Okay. But only if you let me sleep on the couch."

"Don't be silly. You just fucked me on said couch, it's okay if you sleep in my bed with me."

I only shook my head, placing my hand on top of hers. "You didn't even want to know my name, which tells me that you probably aren't the type of woman to let men sleep in your bed with you after sex. Which is fine, don't get me wrong, but... I don't want to make you uncomfortable. And, I... I feel bad enough, I didn't help you clean up, I should have—"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," she said, removing her hand from my cheek and placing it on my bare chest instead. "That right there is why I don't mind if you sleep in my bed. Plus, it's late, you don't have a ride, and I can tell you're sleepy because you've been nodding off as we've been standing here. You can barely stand straight."

I didn't know what to say. Probably because she was right and I was nodding off right now.

She spoke again. "At least stay and rest for a few hours before you leave. And if it'll convince you to stay... You can have the couch."

I smiled lazily, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. "I'll be gone before you wake up."

"Well... In that case, can... Can I kiss you one more time?"

"You can do anything you want to me," I told her truthfully, and not even a second passed before she pressed her lips to mine.

Despite everything we'd just done and the fact that I was almost asleep, it was the hottest kiss we shared that night. I was sure of it. It was lazy and wet, and so filled with the aftermath of all that we'd experienced together that I almost fell to my knees, and not because I was tired. Her tongue grazed mine in the most purposeful way I'd ever felt in a kiss my entire life. The way she held me to her, her hands weaved in my hair and mine pressed firmly to the small of her back, had me tingling from head to toe.

To this day, it's still the best kiss I've ever had.

I swore to myself I would never forget that kiss, and I never have. I couldn't have, even if I tried.

When she pulled away, I almost chased her, but I let her go, opening my eyes to stare deeply into hers. She didn't move for the longest time before clearing her throat and taking a small step back.

"Goodnight," she whispered softly. She looked almost as dazed as I felt.

"Goodnight," I whispered back as she turned around and padded into the darkness.

***

As I stood at her kitchen counter four hours later, a pen in hand and hovering over the back of a receipt she'd had crumpled on it, I tried to think of what to write, even though I knew it probably didn't matter to her one way or another if I said anything at all...

At the very least I wanted her to know just how much that night meant to me, even if she didn't feel the same way. Even if she didn't want to remember my name, I needed her to at least remember my face, remember what we did... Remember me...

I recalled the song she sang. And then I wrote it down.

I had the best night, thank you. Say you'll remember me... —S.

***

"Nothing lasts forever But this is gonna take me down."

—Taylor Swift, Wildest Dreams

***

undefined

TAGLIST:

@bluesunrise02 @meowiemari @teenwolfgirl90

[joshstambourine]

What Friends Do pt. 3

Warning: Cursing

Word count: 3382

Synopsis: Josh and Jake are surprised when an old friend stumbles back into their lives, taking their world by storm with old feelings, new feelings, and problems they never would have expected.

Josh Kiszka x Fem!Reader x Jake Kiszka

Josh sat rather quietly at a booth in the corner of the rather cheery and noisy diner, his eyes sticking close to a book he held in his hand. Despite how energetic and wild Josh was, he was still an avid learner. He craved to be absorbing knowledge whenever possible, so he read. Sometimes history, sometimes philosophy, religion and myth at other times… it was whatever tickled his fancy at that moment really. Just recently Josh had picked up an interest in true crime, he wasn't normally that kind of guy really, but after reading a small portion of the book he was now holding he quickly became hooked. It had something to do with the psychological aspect of it all, and the sheer ingenuity of the author who put so much work into writing it.

Josh's chin rested in his hand as his eyes scanned page after page without a need for pause, well except for when the waitress came to see if he needed his coffee topped up. To which Josh was quick to give a wide smile and push his mug to her, "Thank you." He simply hummed, as the young woman poured the coffee she couldn't stop smiling.

"You're Josh right?" She lightly asked him, clearly a little nervous. "...like Josh Kiszka?"

Josh looked to her with his own smile, "Depends on who's asking." He mused lightly, trying not to make a big deal out of the inquiry.

The waitress let out a quick laugh, her eyes focused on her hands as she poured. "I didn't come to bother you, I just uh… I'm a huge fan and I was hoping you could sign something for me?" She quietly asked, looking up at him again.

Josh glanced at her name tag, "Of course… Annie?" He lightly asked, giving a small point to her badge. She began to nod quickly, suddenly jerking the pot of coffee back up realizing she had spilled a fair amount on the table.

"Oh no!" She exclaimed, "I am so sorry!" Annie quickly exclaimed. 

Josh lightly lifted his book and his arms with a rather melodic laugh, "It's totally okay! Don't worry!" He tells her, his hand outstretched to take some napkins and help her wipe up the mess.

"I'll get a cloth---" Annie uttered, clearly in a shambles over what had just happened. She was still muttering to herself as she quickly went around back.

Josh watched as she ran off giving a soft smile, 'What a sweet girl…' he thought before noticing a young woman walking towards him, she wore an expression that told him she had watched everything that had just happened by the way she was trying not to laugh.

"What did you do to that poor girl?" (Y/N) laughed, "She was shaking like a leaf!" She continued, not finding it funny that the girl was such a mess --- (Y/N) thought she was adorable. No, what (Y/N) thought was hilarious was watching people lose their cool around a guy she knew for a fact could belch the entire alphabet and then some.

"I didn't do anything!" Josh quickly responded as he wiped the table, "She asked for an autograph and just---" He then gestured to the table. 

(Y/N) shook her head in disbelief, "Have you told her how good you are at armpit farts yet?" She quickly inquired, coming to sit across from him, pulling a few more napkins to help him clean up.

Josh quickly pointed to her, "I have not, but you know that she would just climb right onto my lap if I did." He explains, "Ladies find that irresistible."

"Oh really?" (Y/N) raised a brow,

"Oh yeah, didn't you know that?" Josh replies in a spitfire way. "It's all women want these days."

"Ah yes, who needs love and affection when your man can armpit fart?" (Y/N) mused out loud glancing up at Josh, his gaze was on the young waitress who had come back rather quickly with a cloth.

She immediately began to wipe down the table, "Again I'm so sorry about that. I can't believe I did that---" Annie explained with an exasperated tone to her voice. "To make it up to you I'll cover your meal." She continues before pulling back.

"Oh no!! You don't have to do that!" Josh quickly exclaimed,

"No I insist." Annie says,

"No really hon, don't worry about it, he's rich he's got it." (Y/N) told her with a warm smile.

"(Y/N)---" Josh whispered in a quick way, though he was smiling. "Please, don't worry about it, Annie! Um here," He says taking one of the few napkins left in the holder. "(Y/N), do you have a pen?"

"Oh yeah---" She quickly says, going to pull one from her bag. "Here."

Josh quickly took it and began to scribble some things down on the napkin.

Annie's eyes were now on (Y/N) in a curious way, "I'm sorry, I don't think we met." She uttered, not remembering (Y/N) being here when Josh had sat down.

"Oh no I just got here…" (Y/N) admits, “We had lunch plans.” She continued.

"Oh! I'll get you a menu then," Annie quickly says, "Did you want anything to drink? I--- there's still coffee I didn't spill all of it!" She laughed awkwardly, "Oh---! I hope I didn't ruin your date or anythin---"

She was cut off by (Y/N) snickers, "God no! Don't worry about it! Josh is just an old friend--- this actually fits better than anything I could have imagined honestly." She mused. "But a coffee would be wonderful." (Y/N) told her.

As she said this Josh turned to hand Annie the napkin, he had not only signed it but also drew what appeared to be a coffee cup. "I'm not an artist--- well I mean, that kind at least." He lightly admitted.

Annie's cheeks were a bright red at this point, "N-no this is amazing!" She quickly sputtered out, "Thank you so much!" She continued, clearly over the moon with the simplest act of kindness really. Annie’s eyes lingered on it for a moment long before tucking it away into her pocket, “I’ll get you that coffee now!”

(Y/N) gave a small nod as a thank you, watching Annie run off. “What a cute girl!” She hums, glancing at Josh. “You clearly just made her week.” She points out to him, snatching her pen back from him.

Josh shook his head a little, “It’s still mind boggling to me that that's all it takes for me to make someone's day. Well at least people who know who I am.” He uttered out, folding a corner down in his book and placing it off to the side.

(Y/N) smiled as he said that, “I mean hey, it means you guys have been doing something right.” She tells him, fingers pushing back her hair a little as she leans on the table, “I take it Jake will probably be here by the time we’re leaving?” She mused as she had begun to look around the diner. (Y/N) enjoyed the warmth the restaurant had, it feeling like she was in a small town again --- that was probably why Josh liked this place, that it reminded him of Frankenmuth.

Josh softly laughed, “Yeah I can only assume, you know how he is---” he starts, moving to take a sip out of his mug. “Well--- actually he may surprise us, you also know how he gets when you’re involved.” He snickers, well aware of how much effort his brother used to put into getting dressed up and being several minutes early for her.

(Y/N) rolls her eyes a little, “Josh it’s been like six years---” (Y/N) scoffed, “You can’t honestly think he still feels like that.”

Josh began to shrug as he swallowed, “I mean I don’t know, he was pretty awestruck seeing you yesterday.” He mused,

His saying this made (Y/N) frown a little, “...ah… yeah I don’t think that look was awestruck.” She uttered under her breath, beginning to rummage through her purse. 

Josh watched her from the corner of his eye, seeing a few items being shuffled around. It wasn’t long before he frowned a little, eyes lingering. (Y/N) finally pulled her phone free and saw his eye line, “What?!” She quickly asks, bringing the bag back to her side. 

Josh’s eyes met (Y/N)’s he had chosen not to say anything, perhaps he was wrong about what he saw. He certainly hoped so, “Nothing.” Josh smiled at her, “It’s just good to see you.” He tells her honestly. 

Josh certainly had missed having (Y/N) around to chat with like this. It wasn’t really a surprise when she packed up and left to go to college, she had different goals than Jake and him… though clearly things had changed seeing that she was back here starting her own career as a musician which was commendable, but also sad. Josh knew she never wanted to be a musician. (Y/N) from the time he had met her wanted to become a force for good in the world, perhaps some sort of court justice; just something that could make a change for the better. Of course Josh had always wanted something similar, but felt his being a force for good came through the music he made.

“It’s really good to see you too Josh.” (Y/N) responded with eyes full of affection, things fell quiet for a moment. (Y/N) had a lot she wanted to say to Josh, and clearly Josh also had a lot he wanted to say as well… but neither of them knew where to begin which made the air between them feel rather heavy. 

Even Annie felt the tension and reluctantly slipped in as she gave (Y/N) a white coffee mug and a menu, “I’m just gonna leave this here… I’ll be back in a minute.” She uttered nervously before scrambling away.

Josh took a deep breath as he sat straight with his mug in hand, “So…?” He started,

(Y/N) took her glass and unknowingly did the same thing, “So what…?” She repeated,

“Music?” Josh lightly inquired, with a sly grin.

(Y/N) began to sigh very loudly, even throwing her head back a little. “Yes Josh. Music.” She droned, “I’m getting into music. Don’t you rub it in my face too, my parents have already done that enough.” She replied.

Josh shook his head, “I’m not gonna rub it in your face! I’m just confused, after so sheer much disdain for it all… now you’re here?” He slowly says with a clearly confused expression. “I just don’t get it (Y/N).”

“Plans change Josh, what can I say?” She responded, in a tone that clearly displayed she didn't want to be talking about this. 

Josh raised a brow, his expression told her that he didn’t believe that. “You? Changing plans?” He scoffs, “(Y/N) your stubborn as a fucking mule, you expect me to believe that?”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit.” Josh quickly tells her, “What happened? Did you fail your classes…?” He lightly suggested, making (Y/N) scoff as she shook her head. “You know I don’t care what it is just --- just can you enlighten me a little.” Josh continues beginning to lean over the table, his gaze curious but still warm, he did care… and (Y/N) knew that.

(Y/N) had seen the look in his eyes many times during their younger years, it was a look that still made her heart ache a little. She glanced down at the mug in her hands beginning to take a sip, Josh stared at her for a few more seconds, before looking into his own glass with a slightly annoyed look.

“(Y/N)?” A soft voice called from the back of her mind,

“Yeah?” She could remember responding, now recalling how Josh’s head was laid in her lap at this moment. (Y/N) ran her fingers through his soft hair, it was longer than… without the tight curls just... free. (Y/N) was looking up at the stars twinkling softly over head, needing something to keep her attention from just staring at Josh. 

Josh and (Y/N) used to sneak out in the middle of the night to walk together, just to talk and do silly things. They of course would sneak out to go to different parties and things, but the times they would sit alone like this were the most picturesque moments.

“You know that I don’t care, right…?” Josh softly told her, “About all that stuff…?” He continued, glancing down (Y/N) eyes met his. It was the same look, he wanted to be reassuring but the way he stared, told her everything she needed to know. “It doesn’t make me think any less of you…” He continued.

A soft smile had crept across her lips at that moment, “...I know Josh.” She lightly responded, remembering how her heart fluttered as his hand took her softly to hold over his chest. Moments like this with Josh were sweet to look back on, he really was a good friend when (Y/N) needed him the most, however… they were also a touch embarrassing to look back on. At times she couldn’t believe she entrusted him with so much information about her life.

“(Y/N)?” Josh continued,

“Mhm?” She responded,

“...Is superman’s ability to fly a feat of strength or actually a super power?” Josh uttered thoughtlessly as he gazed up at the stars,

“...Josh, you’re an idiot if you think it's anything other than a feat of strength.” (Y/N) responded without having to give it another thought. Maybe it was embarrassing to have shared so much with Josh, but… he was her best friend after all.

(Y/N) glanced up from her mug to look at Josh across the booth from her. She took in how his features had become more defined during their time apart, and how his hair curled and fell around his face. Josh had grown into even more of a handsome man than she could have ever expected. (Y/N) couldn’t help it, she could feel herself start and couldn’t stop it --- the same words leaving her lips as before, though she knew it wasn’t true. “I know Josh.” She smiled.

Josh raised his eyes, “So?” He lightly prodded, “What happened?” He lightly asks,

(Y/N) gave a light smile, she was going to lie through her teeth… she knew he would know but she wasn’t ready to admit why she was actually here. Not yet. “...It just wasn’t for me.” She tells him, “...I guess I didn’t realize how much I actually loved singing and performing until I wasn’t doing it anymore.” She told him, her chest feeling heavy with anxiety as Josh looked back at her.

His lips parted to say something, but seemed to pull back on the reins --- something (Y/N) had never seen him do when they were young. Josh smiled at her, he knew she was lying. (Y/N) hadn’t changed as much as he thought, she was making the same face she used to when she would bluff during their poker games. Josh just couldn’t bring himself to press the question; he had a feeling he knew what it was, and it was something he couldn’t just broach on the first time seeing each other in years. “...well… as long as you’re happy now.” He tells her honestly.

(Y/N) continued to make the same face as she nodded, “Of course I am~” She cooed, “I’ve got my hobbit back.” She continued.

Josh laughed a little as his eyes caught sight of an approaching figure, it made him smile a little as he waved. “Look who finally decided to show up!” He mused, “And before the diner closed too.” He continued, watching as Jake shook his head in an unamused way. 

Jake wore a set of sunglasses on the top of his head, alongside a white shirt with dark red half sleeves, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. “Don’t even start…” He lightly said, going to slide into the spot beside Josh.

“Whoa hey now! That spot is saved.” Josh says rather seriously, pointing to sit with (Y/N) across the booth. It was (Y/N)’s turn to roll her eyes, she had heard him say this before. Once Jake had sat down Josh kicked up his feet so he was laying across the whole side of the booth, “My feet thank you.” He hummed.

Josh stared at his brother with clearly tired eyes, “....Dick.” He simply says, earning him a wide grin from Josh.

(Y/N) narrowed her eyes at Josh knowing exactly what he was doing, she shook her head as she looked to Jake. “Hey…” she lightly started, noticing the bags under his eyes. “...oof… rough night?” She inquires,

Jake nodded as he rubbed his eyes, “You could say that.” He muttered, 

“Okay, sorry for the delay, it's been busy today. What can I----” Annie had returned and immediately stopped, “Another new person okay!” She uttered, “Do we need another menu?” She asked, clearly looking a little exasperated.

“No, that's okay… I’ll just have a cup of coffee.” Jake says, 

“Not hungry?” (Y/N) lightly asked, with an air of concern. Jake didn't respond, his arms simply crossing. (Y/N) didn’t continue to ask anything, she just looked down at the menu quickly, “Uh… I’ll just go with the number three.” She simply says.

“Okay… and for you?” Annie asked looking to Josh,

“Mmmm… the same.” He tells her.

“Alright, well I’ll be back! AGAIN with the coffee I guess.” Annie lightly uttered, turning on her heels.

“That girl deserves a big tip.” (Y/N) utters beginning to dig through her purse again before pulling out a small silver flask. Josh was quick to raise a brow but grin as he pushed his mug to her, excited by the idea of a morning pick me up.

Jake on the other hand looked at her with distaste, “Jesus (Y/N), it’s 11 in the morning.” He whispered,

(Y/N) looked at him before laughing in disbelief, “You expect me to take that from you? Really? I watched you do several shots before our finals.” She chuckled, beginning to pour a little amber liquid into her coffee as well as Josh’s. “Scratch that, you made me join you in doing several shots before our finals.” She continued.

Jake quickly pinched the bridge of his nose knowing she was right, he had a hard time not laughing a little. “That-- that was different. I was stressed.” He tells her,

“Mhm.” She nods, clearly not paying attention to his excuses as she sipped her spiked coffee. “I also remember something else happening that day… what was it…” She uttered in a clearly loaded way, she knew what happened but wanted to trudge it up as painfully as she could.

Josh took his mug, “He puked all over Rebecca M.” He chimed in adding a bit of sugar to his coffee, making (Y/N) grin and Jake snicker a little more clearly, still embarrassed by that. “And then she wreaked of gin for the rest of the day.” Josh cheered.

“Oh god she was so mad…” Jake laughed as he rubbed his eyes, 

(Y/N) scoffed, “Of course she was Jake! I don’t think anyone enjoys being thrown up on.” She and Josh began to laugh a little making Jake hide his face away more. They barely noticed as Annie placed the new mug on the table, and snuck away yet again. (Y/N) without a thought poured a touch of the alcohol into Jake’s glass.

The dynamic had always flowed differently when it was the three of them; something about it encouraged more laughter and pulled more memories of funny times, it was how (Y/N) remembered it being with the Kiszka twins. Clearly she had been right to think that despite what had happened between her and the two of them as individuals they could always come back to times like this when they were all together. 

[katsidhe]

Thoughts on 12.4? I know it wasn't like a "Lucifer and Sam" episode, but when I watched the episode recently, I couldn't help noticing how tense Sam seemed through the whole thing. Every time Magna (Madgna? I can't remember XD) was called "the Devil" he'd just freeze up and look nauseous. The PTSD was so very there here. Your thoughts?

12.04 Final Thoughts

All SPN episodes are Lucifer’n’Sam episodes if you try hard enough ;) That being said, you don’t gotta try too hard in this one!

Sam defending Vince Vincente is great. Sam, I love your taste in music as much as I love your sartorial choices.

Also, Lucifer choosing a musician that Sam likes... lmaoooo. Intentional? probably not consciously, but it’s hilarious that Sam has to wonder. 

Mary has left. On the nose: what’s best for a family is split them up. She’s texting with Dean, but pointedly not Sam.

Both Sam and Dean begin suspicious of the family, but once Dean hears about their ~family values~ Dean is much, much happier to buy into their framing. He’s ready to accept any weirdness in a family as long as it was meant to keep them together. 

Sam’s reticence turns into open hostility. He cannot restrain his anger, not with everything he knows and everything he’s been through. “God doesn’t care what kind of live you live. God didn’t kill your daughter. You did.” There’s a lot of contempt and bitterness in his tone, but—none of it is directed towards Chuck. Sam is angry at these people for trying to deflect responsibility. He is angry that they are trying to dodge their guilt.

Having recently met SPN God, Sam finds this idea existentially comforting, that Chuck was extremely underwhelming. He isn’t some grand and ineffable arbiter of morality. Sam has struggled for so long with his feelings of impurity, and uncleanliness, and innate evil, and the need for redemption, and with guilt over having Transgressed… it’s a relief for him to realize that Chuck is not, in fact, someone who judges him, or someone he needs to prove his worth to. The world simply is, and God simply is, and the universe isn’t his judge. And I think this plays into the relative equanimity with which Sam accepts Chuck’s reveal in 14.20: Sam has already realized and accepted God’s mundanity.

Dean just wants to murder this poor Wiccan. Like, what if she’s said she liked her new job? Would Dean have summarily killed her because of her spiritual practices? Dean gets frustrated often about wanting to have one straightforward day on the job, but, uh. Dean. You guys are vigilante killers. You need to hold yourself to HIGH STANDARDS.

Sam’s CPS sweater looks so SOFT.

Lucifer is really present in this episode. The overt religion, the way that Magda’s family has told herself that she’s the devil, the torture, the castigation and guilt. Equating forgiveness and penance with pain and punishment is very Sam-coded. Gail says that she’s tried to keep the Devil locked away, that Magda’s “our cross to bear.” Sam locked away, Magda locked away, both of them suffering, both of them burdens to their family. 

Sam’s protectiveness here is so gut-wrenching. He is terrified for Magda, he is heartbroken and furious at what’s been done to her, not just in body, but what she’s been made to believe about herself. I’ve got Dad!Sam on the brain and my heart, it hurts. 

“Pain purges sin.” “No it doesn’t.” This is a lesson hard-learned. It’s a new perspective from what Sam said in 7.04 about the pain relieving his guilt. A healthier one and a much more tired one: I think it speaks to the way Sam’s coping mechanisms have moved on from the blatant denial and violent, white-knuckled I’M FINE of season 7, to the quieter, more melancholy and reserved way that Sam just fades back in later seasons.  

Sam talking about being psychic! I’m kinda totally fine with Sam choosing in late seasons to totally reject his psychic stuff? a somewhat unpopular opinion I think, but I don’t think of it as a dropped or forgotten storyline. I think it makes a lot of sense for Sam to not want to touch that part of himself, a part that he knows, innate or not, was seeded and manipulated by Ruby and Lucifer. Dean’s judgment is also tied queasily into the whole thing, of course, but even without that element Sam has tons of good reasons to disown it.

Sure was weird that the last few seconds of this episode got cut off. So strange. Anyway, I’m glad Magda is doing well in her new home.

[stargaze-issei]

ᴅᴀʏ 𝟽; ғᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ sᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ

-> semi eita.

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; post timeskip!semi begins to have feelings for his neighbour, a skillful drummer.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; a few curse words, mentions of alcohol.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 1.5k

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; fluff.

↳ main masterlist

opportunities didn't lack in tokyo, it was so overwhelming that you didn't know where to start looking. back in you little town there was no such a thing as unknown, you were well aware of all the possible paths you could take back there, which led to you leaving searching for new experiences. your family was against it, to say the least, they saw you as a little girl who needed to be protected, who would protect you when you were far away from them? but your mind was set, so you packed your clothes, your drums would have to wait a bit until you found a steady place, put some things in boxes, and spent as much as you could in a somewhat nice apartment in the middle of tokyo. 

since then had been two months, and finally, your precious musical instrument were about to arrive. just as you thought about it, the doorbell rang. you jumped from your place, thrilled to see you most beloved belongins, only to find your neighbour, who seemed to have had an intense night. 

"don't look so sad to see me, angel" he greeted, gaining a smirk from you. once you grew familiar with his messy looks and flirting way of being, he turned out to be a really nice person.

"do you need an aspirin, semi?" you ignored his words, moving aside to let him in "aren't you something from the goverment? are you even allowed to party like that?"

"too many questions and no aspirins, y/n" he had this habit of visiting your place, despite never letting you into his home. you stuck you tongue out, making him laugh a little, before going to get medicine "and i just stayed up late with the band, the drummer left and we have shows coming up" you could feel the tiredness in his voice even from rooms appart.

"i'm sure you'll find someone" you tried cheering him when handling the promised pill, he just smiled before taking it without water "you're going to choke" 

"you worry about me?" 

"i don't want your dead body on my carpet, there's a difference" he winked at you, like you had said the complete opposite.

with semi that's how it worked, you'd be lying if you said you had never taken his constant flirting a little too serious, maybe hoping such a handsome man would be interested in you, but you knew there was nothing else than his personality. still, he had a way to make you feel comfortable, being the first person to gain your trust in less than two months. sometimes you'd hang with people from work, or others musician you had known along the weeks, but they didn't make you feel the way semi did. 

"okay, princess, imma get going, i have to finish some papers for work" he got up, arranging his clothes "unless you wanna do something else" his tone indicating what kind of activities he referred to made you giggle.

"go work, i won't take you in if you get fired" between other jokes from both, he finally left your appartment. 

you were left with a fuzzy feeling in your stomach and a not so subtle blush in your skin, damn be semi and his easyness to make you feel weird. 

a few hours passed until your bell rang again, this time being what you were so desperately expecting. it took you less than half an hour to set your drums in the almost empty living room,  you chekced the time at your phone, the ladowner had said you could be as loud as you wanted before eleven p.m. on work nights, in the bulding were mainly musicians, so it wasn't weird to hear a trumpet at breakfast, followed by a loud electric guitar and a hundred other things. 

your hands moved on their own when they held the drumstick, letting all the emotions you had been bottling up the last couple of months. the sound drowning your ears, nothing else mattered there. a few apartments away, semi caught on a different sound, a sound he hadn't heard before in the building. someone was playing drums, but to say they were playing them didn't feel right, it was something else. he could feels this person's feelings, exactly what they were trying to pour into each hit, none of his past drummers had made him feel that way. 

he got up of his couch, leaving his laptop by his side, ready to follow the sound to its source. whoever was playing had to be a professional, maybe he could make them join his band, he sure hope he could. with that sound, there were few things his group couldn't achieve. 

there must be something wrong, he thought, because you didn't play drums, and somehow the sound came from inside your apartment, were you playing a record? no, he could feel the vibrations through the door, there was an actual person playing actual drums. how could it be? he had been there two hours ago, he knew how small the rooms were, the only place you could fit something as big was the living room, but there was nothing. had he been too focused looking at you that he didn't notice it? it wasn't his fault, you were wearing home clothes, he always loved how pretty you looked on those.

semi knocked on the door only to feel stupid after, there was no way you'd hear him with all that noise. he started to look for the spare key you hid under the rug, getting his fingers all dusty before finding it. what he saw when he opened the door took away all the words from his mouth. your eyes were closed, little hints of sweat covered you face and neck, while your hands and feet move frenetically making and incredible harmonic melody.

when you opened your eyes, semi was standing in front of you, mouth half-opened. you, by instinct, threw a drumstick towards him, who on earth enters another person's apartment without even having a key? you just don't do that on a woman, for god's sake.

"what the fuck are you doing!?"

"don't throw a fucking stick at me!" 

"don't do... that! fuck!"

"you never said you played drums!"

"you never asked!"

"stop yelling at me!" 

"i'm sorry!"

both stared at each other, silent for a moment, before bursting into laugh. you went to hug him, excusing a meeting, and he happily accepted between his arms. he sat in the island of the kitchen, while you headed to get a beer for both. semi was smiling, sort of proud of the made discovery, but totally forgetting what he wanted to ask you.

"you're really good" said the singer after a while.

"i hope i am, i've been playing since i was ten" his eyes opened in shock, drinking from his bottle, that was quite a long time. 

the sweat from before still stained your skin, and the sun from the window made you look like you were shining. you took a zip of beer, and he actually thought on getting over his insecurity and just go kiss you.

semi saw you the day you moved in for the first time, struggling with carrying two boxes at the same time. he offered you help, not because he instantly fell in love with you, he was just feeling kind. you, at the beginning, had been reluctant to letting an strange man into you apartment, but to leave your things outside in the open, like waiting for someone to steal so little you had, was bigger than anything. you were surprised by how nice semi was, despite of his look of a homeless musician, which he kind of was. after that, he would invite you to his rehearsals, or accompany you to do groceries, found any excuse to be near you. 

he thought to be around you was better than being alone in his house, stressing over idiotic details, with you, he felt calmer, like back in his highschool days, when everything was within the reach of his hands. yeah, he had come to the conclusion he felt a lot of things towards you, still rejecting the word love. 

"i- you- um, band?" the lack of connectors in his so called sentence made you grin, "would you like to play with us?" he finally asked, looking at the floor, suddenly flustered.

playing with semi was something you had thought about a lot, his voice was so angelic, your mind often wondered on which tunes could go along with it, with which guitar tone.

"oh, uh, yeah, i would" his smile grew wider, unconsciously realizing how much time together you would spend.

"maybe we could go on a date, someday, um, if you want to" it was cute to  see semi blushing, playing with his fingers, not being able to even look at you.

"i would like that too, semi" while you talked, he lifted his head to face you, his eyes shining in excitement, had you really said yes?

semi stayed at your place that day, talking, getting to know you, drinking beer. he thought you were so interesting, he could have stayed listening to your for even more hours. you were excited to let semi into your life, and semi was more than eager to feel a part to you.

⌙ 𝟐𝟎𝟎 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 🥳

[flameontheotherside]

Interview with Autumn Wells

Today I reached out to Autumn for a little interview about her experience with her TF in spirit, Jimi Hendrix. 

Me: Thanks for agreeing to this interview. For my readers, I thought it would be nice for them to get to know you a little bit especially if you are planning to contribute by submitting your input here on this very blog. I think we all appreciate you sharing your story and that it’s exciting to meet yet another “spiritual widow”.  You would be the 4th one I’ve met with a TF inspirit who was a musician! 

This experience can be difficult but of course has its rewards as we learn and grow from this. It’s great and comforting to know you’re not alone. This was something Erik stressed to me all last month while I wasn’t feeling my best. So I really don’t feel you reaching out when you did was in any way a coincidence. There’s no doubt also that Jimi Hendrix is a legend who inspired many and had an amazing talent. 

Autumn: Thank you so much for interviewing me. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoy the blog! It's funny, but when many people describe how it is to hear Jimi Hendrix play for the first time, they're blown away, too! :)

Me: Where are you from? Are you American?

Autumn: I come from the USA, and I'm a young African-American woman in my twenties. I like to create art, stories, and other artistic projects. Jimi is African-American, too. We both come from mixed backgrounds, with Native American and European ancestors in our backgrounds, too, but our African roots are the strongest.

Me: Are you spiritual or religious?

Autumn: I consider myself more spiritual rather than religious. I do learn a lot of wisdom from different religions, but I don't follow any one religion in particular. I believe in God, through Jesus Christ, but I'm open to shamanic wisdom and many other cultures as well.

Me: I think most of us have a level of intuitiveness. Do you have intuitive or psychic gifts?

Autumn: Yes, I have intuitive and psychic gifts. I've always sensed people's emotions ever since I was little, and the psychic gifts grew stronger as I grew older. They became stronger because of my experience with Jimi's spirit, too. I can type down Jimi's thoughts when he wants to talk and share something with the world. I can also communicate with deceased relatives and other loved ones. Sometimes I sense the emotions of people who are alive on the earth, too. I've had moments where I can psychically detect knowledge about people without really knowing them.

Me: What is Jimi like?

Autumn: Jimi is a sweetheart, really. His personality is the same as it was when he was on the earth. Although he was really flashy on the stage, off the stage he was quiet and so shy. That surprised me in the beginning, because I didn't realize how quiet he was as a person, but the way he is to me is the way he was to many people on the earth - gentle, shy, and loving. He is very intelligent, and he still thinks and dreams in visions, as he did on the earth. He can be romantic, but most of all, he's unconditionally loving.

Me: How do you both communicate?

Autumn: I communicate with Jimi through telepathy, and I often see him with my eyes, too. He can affect my physical reality at times, but not always. For instance, he may draw me to him without me doing anything to move closer to him.

Me: How would you describe your relationship? For instance Erik can be in spirit guide mode which is serious and sometimes we can be friends and more.

Autumn: Yes, Jimi is like a spirit guide, and recently, well... he asked me to be his wife. I was so shocked! :) I didn't expect him to do that. In the past, we've spent many different periods where we were sometimes friends, and other times he was more like a guardian angel. There were also times when we developed a romantic relationship, and we would feel like husband and wife, but Jimi also sometimes would withdraw from my life if he felt I needed to have new experiences on the earth. So for us, we've experienced many different kinds of love on our journey, but right now, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes, after nearly fainting, haha.

Me: How does Jimi appear to you?

Autumn: Jimi looks the way he did on the earth, and he usually looks very young. He has beautiful brown eyes and a kind smile, and he's about 5.11. He wears colorful clothes and sometimes brings his guitar with him. He still loves to play in the afterlife. Here's a picture of Jimi, I think there's no copyright on it:

Me: Telling someone about this can be hard. Did you have problems explaining to anyone close to you?

Autumn: I did try to tell my mother about Jimi and the experiences I had with him, but it didn't really turn out well. At first, she seemed to believe me, and she even said I was lucky. But then she started to doubt me because she didn't see Jimi the way I did, so she thought maybe I was making it all up because I was just a teenager. My Dad figured it was just my subconscious mind, although it was harder and harder for me to believe it was my subconscious when I started seeing Jimi while I was awake. My mom and dad's disbelief did make this journey very challenging because I had no one I could really turn to. I was not on the internet at the time, so I couldn't reach out to anyone who had a similar experience. The best I could do was keep it to myself, but I trusted in Jimi, and I read all I could about Native American spirituality, and how the Native Americans believed they had guiding spirits to help them in life. That helped me out a bit.

Ironically, though, during the accident incident where I had the near-death vision, my Dad was actually present when he saw me speaking to Jimi in the state I was in. I saw Jimi, and felt him so strongly, even though I was malnourished and in very bad shape. I had no clue I was about to go, because I didn't realize how sick I was, but I knew Jimi, so when I saw him, I had this blissful smile on my face and felt I was in heaven. I saw another deceased relative, too, who had just passed away. When my Dad asked me, "Are you in heaven?" I turned to him and said with tears of joy, "I love you so much, Jimi!" My Dad was shocked, and he said, "Now I know you're in heaven," because he always believed Jimi went to heaven after he passed away at 27 (in 1970). But I think even witnessing that moment I had with Jimi might have been too much for my Dad to comprehend.

Me: What can you tell us about your past lives? 

Autumn: Anyway, about past lives, that's an interesting question, because recently I asked Jimi if we shared any lifetimes together. He told me he didn't want to overwhelm me with too much information, but he did say that we shared a past life in England in the 19th century. He said we had several other lifetimes together, too, but he wanted to start with one at the time. It's really intriguing because I didn't know much at all about England in the 19th century, and Jimi told me about a very detailed experience about his life as a music teacher back then. It turns out that everything he told me, when I searched for the historical context, matches up with that time. I'll write about it on my blog eventually, but yes, this is the first past life we are working on. I don't exactly know how many past lives we've had, but I'm sure Jimi will share more when the time is right. (Jimi loved England in his last lifetime, too; that's where he felt really at home.)

I was a skeptic about reincarnation for the longest, but the evidence has led me to believe it's a reality. There is so much pointing to the fact that we've come to this earth before, and I've had that feeling myself.

Me: We have a twin flame (or spirit spouse) who isn’t living. Most of us have never gotten to meet or be with our counterparts while they were alive. So, it can be difficult. What is the hardest thing about having this experience?

Autumn: I'd say the hardest thing about having this experience, as beautiful as it is, is that most of the loved ones and people around me don't really understand it. I tried to open up about it in the past, but it didn't go over well, so I just keep it to myself. I hope that one day, I can integrate this experience into my life more fully, but right now, I just keep most of the details to myself in my everyday life, and try to find a balance.

Another hard thing in the beginning was dealing with the fact that Jimi died young, and tragically. That really hurt my heart, especially as a child. I just couldn't believe it. I kept asking my Dad, "Why? Why?" because I just couldn't understand why Jimi had to pass on when he was only 27. It took me a long time to accept that he was in the afterlife, but it really helped me when he came to me and told me he was at peace, and he came to me because he loved me, not because he felt haunted.

Me: What are some important things you’ve learned being Jimi’s TF?

Autumn: There are many important things I've learned from this experience, though, and the main thing is learning to trust in God, myself, and Jimi. I've had trust issues throughout my life, to the point where I didn't know if I could even trust Jimi or not, but he helped me to love myself, and love him, too. He showed me unconditional love which really helped to heal my heart, and he was there to guide me through some really difficult times in my life. He also brought me closer to God, who I love, too.

Me: How often do you communicate with each other?

Autumn: Jimi and I talk quite a bit, depending on the flow of my life. Sometimes I spend a lot of time studying, so we don't talk as much (I really need to set aside more talking time!) but I can always feel him near me. Early on, we spoke nearly all the time, and I'd write down a lot of our conversations. That helped me connect a lot of dots later on.

Me: What are some funny or good moments you’ve had?

Autumn: I think there were a few funny moments between us sometimes, but mostly Jimi's pretty serious. But he's serious in a light way, if you know what I mean. He's often smiling and telling me stories about his life on the earth, and he helps children a lot in the afterlife.

Me: Like physical twins (I have a twin brother btw), twin flames or twin souls aren’t always alike. In what ways are you alike? Different?

Autumn: I agree that twin souls don't have to be exactly alike. With Jimi and me, we do happen to be amazingly similar, although we have some differences. We both look similar, especially in the eyes, although we don't look exactly the same. We share a deep interest in spirituality, God, and the afterlife, and neither of us believe in organized religion. We love music and the creative arts, although I tend to get more addicted to writing, and Jimi's addiction was music.

We both experienced ESP and psychic phenomena during our lives on the earth; Jimi said in the 1960's that he saw the spirit of Handel while he was living in the composer's home (you can look it up on the internet if you like, it's really interesting!) He also believed his mother, who passed on at a young age, was watching over him in spirit.

We both have the tendency to be nervous perfectionists with our creative arts. I used to feel kind of bad about driving the people crazy around me with my "everything must be perfect" tendencies, until I found Jimi was the same way. :)

We have a ton more things in common, but we also have a few differences. I'm deeper into writing, while Jimi is more into music. But a lot of our differences are more like different sides of the same coin. For instance, we both grew up in blended families, but the blended family for Jimi came later in his life, when his father remarried, whereas I grew up in a blended family (although I didn't always spend time with my older half-siblings).

Considering that Jimi and I never met on the earth, and he lived and passed on before I was born, it's amazing how our lives and personalities parallel each other. Many of the parallels I didn't even know about until I got older and could get on the internet to research.

Me: How do you think you’d be together if he were alive or reincarnated now as your significant other?

Autumn: I think my life would be different in some ways if Jimi were incarnated as someone else. I used to wish I'd meet a guy like Jimi one day, but I knew it was hopeless because no one else is Jimi, unless he came to the earth again, of course. I do think it's good that Jimi is in spirit, though, because the way my family life is, we probably wouldn't spend much time together if he were incarnate. I don't get into the outside world that much.

If Jimi were incarnated with me, I do think it might work out, but he would have to be free from many of the things which led to him passing away so young. Drugs, for instance, were a problem Jimi dealt with, as well as ruthless people in the music business who took advantage of him. I do believe that in spirit, he has much less to worry about, and that has really helped both of us. So although it would be wonderful to have Jimi physically here with me, I also know that it's best that we connected in this way, because he's in the peace and love of the afterlife. I also think that having Jimi as a spirit guide and partner is wonderful because he can be with me wherever I go in the world, and we don't have physical distance separating us. Sometimes I do long to be where he is, though, in the afterlife. One day, I'll be with him for all time, God willing.

Well, that's it for now! Thanks for asking the really good questions.

Me: Thank you for answering and thank you especially for reaching out and sharing us your story! 

If you guys who are following me or stumbling on this, want to know more about Autumn Wells and her amazing story about being Jimi Hendrix’s twin soul, you can find her blog at:

https://jimiheaven.gonevis.com/

She will also be guest posting here as well so watch out for her content. You can see all her submissions with the tag: #Autumn Wells <--Click that link for the goods!

[killer-kashmir]

shy. (george harrison)

this is the first one shot i’m posting on tumblr! i rly hope you all enjoy <3, all of my stories are on wattpad, @/killerkashmir so feel free to give me a follow on there ! <3

Hamburg, Germany is not the ideal city for a young girl to be walking around during any time of the day. The cold wind stung your nose in response to the winter months, and you tried your best to get to your destination as quick as possible. There weren't many things for you to do in Germany, and you found yourself horribly bored on a regular basis- that was until you discovered a club you were able to sneak into. Most bars asked for an I.D, and you stopped trying to sneak in since you couldn't afford a fake one. You had given up hope, until you heard of the Indra Club. Sure, it wasn't the classiest of places, but as long as you never went alone you were perfectly safe.

A couple of the few friends you made in the months you've been in this city invited you out to enjoy the various bands that played every night. None of the live music at Indra was spectacular, you really just came for the free drinks you'd inevitably get from an older man desperate to get into your pants (they always failed). You said a silent prayer in hopes that your perfectly curled hair wasn't ruined (it took you nearly two hours to do!) as you walked past the bouncer without a word. You came to the club so often that even the owner was familiar with you, so there was no need to talk to the bouncer. "(Y/N)! Over here!" Your eyes scanned the bar until it met with your three friends. You made your way towards them, trying your best not to bump into every person in your vicinity. The smell of beer hit you like a wall, and you were convinced that the smell had seeped into the brick walls. You took a seat on a stool, the red leather worn due to the countless amount of people using it over the years. The bartender's eyes met with your familiar face, and a warm smile overtook his features on it as he got started on the same drink you ordered nearly every night.

     "I hope this band isn't shit. It would be a relief to have some music I could actually dance to for once." Mia ranted. You nodded in silent agreement. Mia was the closest friend you had in this country, and you spent nearly every minute you could together. The other two girls that were you were with you only knew briefly, being that Mia introduced them to you only the week before. Thanking the bartender kindly, you picked up the finished drink and brought the straw to your red lips. You tried your best not to cringe as the bitter liquor met your taste buds. "I'll never get used to that damn taste." You thought to yourself, shaking your head. Your train of thought was interrupted when Mia harshly nudged your bicep, gesturing to the owner of the bar come to center stage. Tapping the microphone, he cleared his throat and introduced the band. He spoke german faster than you could keep up, but you were able to gather that the name of the band preforming was “The Beatles”. “Like the bug? What a strange name.” You thought to yourself as four young boys walked into the small stage, plugging in their instruments quietly. Now this was intriguing! You’ve watched countless musicians play on that stage, but none this young- Well, with the exception of Rory Storm and the Hurricanes, your personal favorite.

The bass player nervously coughed into the microphone, before timidly speaking to the crowd. “Uhm, good evening everyone! We are The Beatles.” The bassist kept the opening speech short, before turning to his band mates while the drummer started the count-off of the first song. Your eyes went wide and you nearly dropped your drink when they began playing their instruments and started singing. Their energy was certainly not something you were expecting, but it gave you goosebumps of excitement. Your trance was broken by the surprised laugh of Mia, a look of bewilderment on her face. She immediately grabbed your hand and shoved your way to the front of the stage, dancing freely at the loud music. You laughed at your friend’s dance moves as you grabbed her hand and twirled her. Looking back up at the stage, you began to study the faces of the bandmates, being that you were much closer than before. The bass player was very cute, and his eyes had a light that you hadn’t seen before. The rythm guitarist was the most mischievous one, and you could tell from his antics as he performed. Your attention was brought to the lead guitarist as he played out a solo, a ghost of a smile on his face. Something about this boy felt different to you, almost like he didn’t want anyone to know he was confident in his playing. You studied him for maybe longer than you meant to, and his eyes met yours. His eyes widened for a moment once he confirmed to himself that you were looking at him, and his gaze focused back into the guitar in his hands. “Geez, you totally like what you see, don’t you?” What was that look? Disgust? It definitely wasn’t interest. You tried your best to ignore what you took as silent rejection and enjoy the music that pounded on the walls of the small club.

“Thank you everyone! Have a goodnight, one again, we are The Beatles!” The boys all took a synchronized bow, and you couldn’t help but giggle at the formality of the gesture considering the crowd they were performing to. Wiping the beads of sweat forming on your forehead, you went to the bar to grab another drink. The front of the stage was always the most crowded, and the hottest. You thanked the bartender, reaching into your pocket to pay for the beverage. “It’s on me, thank you sir!” A hand slapped onto the bar, leaving a couple of coins to pay for the drink. You turned to thank whoever covered you, almost choking when your eyes were met with the face of the bass player. “Hello, lovely! I’m Paul, you are?” You wanted to laugh at how posh Paul sounded, but it was endearing. “Nice to meet you Paul, my name is (Y/N).” Paul held his drink up, smiling gently. “Wonderful name for a wonderful lass, it’s nice to meet you (Y/N).” You smiled shyly as you brought your glass up to clink with his. Your eye contact was broken when Mia caught you with you, going silent when she saw the bass player. You smiled at the girl, knowing how outgoing she could be. That was only after she got to know someone though, but at first she was extremely timid. “Oh, I wasn’t aware you had a friend! What’s your name, love?” Paul said confidently, giving Mia the same look he had just given you moments before. Mia blushed a dark red and introduced herself. “Great, we’ve got a playboy on our hands.” You couldn’t help but feel a pit of disappointment settle in your stomach, knowing his interest wasn’t in you, but every female he had come into contact with. “Would you girls like to sit at our table? You could meet the lads.” Paul suggested, and Mia turned to you to answer, being too shy to decide. “Whatever, why not. It’s impossible to get a table here anyway, so we might as well take advantage.” Your eyes met Paul’s, a confident smiling spreading onto your lips. “We’d love to!”

“Ah, who do we have here? How’d you managed to score two birds, Paul?” The rythm guitarist laughed, playfully throwing an arm around Paul’s shoulders. “Oh sod off John, I just thought it would be nice to be acquainted with the locals. This is (Y/N) and Mia, try not to leave a bad first impression, although I think you already might have.” Paul said, throwing John’s, who’s name you just discovered, arm off his body. John didn’t seem phased by the aggression, in fact it only caused his smile to grow larger. John put his elbows on the table, leaning forward to face you and Mia, his gaze bouncing between the two of you. “Okay then ladies, who’d you reckon your going home with tonight?” John said in a dramatic tone, his eyebrows bouncing up and down on his face. You snorted a laugh and rolled your eyes, putting your half empty glass on the table, making fearless eye contact with him. “As long as it’s not you, I won’t be complaining.” The comeback sent Paul into an immediate fit of laughter, slapping his hand onto John’s back. “She really got you with that one, didn’t she lad?” John scoffed and got up, claiming he needed another drink.

You found the quiet guitarist looking at you, a slight smile on his face. You knew he found the remark you made funny, but you weren’t sure if he’d ever admit it. He looked away once again, focusing on the drink in front of him. An awkward silence took over the table, and was broken when Paul spoke. “Mia, would you like to go get another drink with me?” Mia blushes once again, only being able to respond with a nod as Paul took her hand and led her away. “Great, now I’m stuck alone with the boy who clearly doesn’t like me.” You felt yourself growing more and more nervous, looking anywhere but the boys direction. You jumped in surprise when you heard the boy speak, turning your head towards his direction. “I’m sorry, what’d you say?” Your voice slightly shook, not knowing how to approach the situation at hand. “I said, ‘What’s your name?’” The boy said expectantly for an answer, a straight face being his expression. “O-oh, It’s uh, (Y/N). How about you?” You asked, trying to avoid any more awkwardness. “George.” He said, taking another sip of his drink, and you could see him cringe at the taste of the alcohol. “It’s nice to meet you George, your set was really great.” You said sweetly, managing to recollect yourself. This caused George to smile for the first time you had seen that night. It gave you butterflies. “Can I walk you home?”

You shivered as you walked down the sidewalk, the night sky black and empty, except for the large full moon that cast a pale light onto the earth below. “Thanks for walking me, George. I really appreciate it.” You spoke kindly, a gentle smiled on your face. “It’s no worries, I wanted to get to know you, and that club is a little too loud for casual conversation.” You let out a giggle at the remark, his sense of humor only intrigued you more. “Well then, what would you like to know about me?” George paused for a moment, thinking of an adequate question. “You don’t sound German, where are you from?” You laughed at the statement/question, staring at the large moon. “I’m from the states, Washington to be exact. My father got a business opportunity here in Hamburg, so it was either move, or be homeless in America.” George nodded, and you were surprised with the purity of the question. Typically, men didn’t care about your personal life, just whether you’d sleep with them or not. You spent the rest of the walk asking each other questions, learning pointless facts about each other and laughing along the way. “This is my place.” You couldn’t help but feel sad with the fact that the walk was now over, you didn’t want to say goodbye to George just yet. “Wait, I have one final question.” George spoke, looking at his feet as he kicked a nearby pebble. “Alright, shoot.” You said, your interest peaked.

“Why’d you let me walk you home?” George asked, and your mind raced for an answer. Your heartbeat was thumping violently against your chest as you took a deep breath. “Because I wanted to get to know you, and that club is a little too loud for casual conversation.” George looked at you, seemingly entertained by the use of his own words. Before you got to say anything else, George leaned forward and his lips met with yours, and his hands rested on your waist. You felt as if you could grow wings and fly away with how happy you were, and your hands instinctively went up to rest on his shoulders. The kiss lasted for only a couple moments, but it was at the top of your list for one of the best experiences you’ve ever had. You pulled back with a flushed face, your stomach turning in happy knots. George’s cheeks were tinted pink as a full smile spread onto his features. You leaned in to give the boy a quick kiss on the cheek and ran to your door step, resting a hand on the knob before turning back once more.

“Goodnight, George.”

“Sleep well, (Y/N).”

[thedyingmoon]

🖤 I See My Future Before Me 🖤

~ A V X Reader set in an Alternate Universe wherein fancy Nero gets schooled by V. 🖤

~ That's my Bloody Palace screenshot ( What level am I now? Nah, I'm not telling ). 🖤

~ I hope you enjoy this part, @heaven-on-a-landslide and @acieoj ! 🖤

***

VI

***

"She's just tired as hell. You'll see her in the morning."

At least, that's what Nico said.

But then, V should've known better.

The next morning, the girl left a note on the glass top table, saying something about going to a friend's and staying there until Saturday. Somehow, the chit got past him without making any noise to wake any of them ( that's him, Nero, Griffon, and Shadow ) up, who all snoozed on the living room in sleeping cots provided by Nico, who spent the rest of the night on the guest room. V, being the most alert among all of them inside the unit, didn't hear her footsteps, even the creak of the door. What's more, Nico found out that the formal wear she provided for her was also gone.

Which meant that, to V's frustration, they will not be able to see her until the event, itself, which would take place the next day.

And so, the day finally arrived.

Nero was struggling with the lacy jabot on his neck, grimacing at it, and how he looked as a whole, in the mirror every once in a while.

And to add further insult to the injury, Griffon, who was flapping his wings non stop above his head, was laughing at him really hard.

The young and dashing Devil Hunter, who recently became famous for defeating the infamous Demon King Urizen, who almost plunged Red Grave with Qliphoth roots, let out a loud curse and threw the jabot on the floor.

Nico, who just finished putting on her dress and makeup on the guest room, heard this and came out, curious as to the source of that very colorful language.

And when she finally saw what Nero looked like, she could not help but double over in stomach pain as she failed to suppress her laughter.

"FUCK!" Nero cursed, angry at the tattooed woman who was still laughing her ass off at his appearance. "You think this is funny?!"

"What the hell are you wearin'?!" Nico bursted out through her uncontrolled fits of laughter.

"I bet it's her grandma's dress!" Insulted Griffon, which only made Nico laugh even more, and Nero angrier.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU FUCKING BIRD!"

"W-w-wait, don't tell me your granny wore that to snag herself a boyfriend in the eighteenth century?!" Nico added.

"I swear if you don't stop - " Nero warned, then clicked his tongue, unable to stop the woman and the bird from laughing. It's true. With the heavy, lace coat of powder blue and purple ensemble, the equally lacy white undershirt, the pair of black breeches, the white knee - high socks, and the high - heeled pair of dancing shoes, Nero absolutely looked like a bratty, noble kid who came directly from the French Revolution era, or earlier.

"What? You'll hit me?" Nico taunted, pointing at Nero with a finger, flaunting her carefully manicured nail.

Griffon picked the jabot from the floor, graciously, if not mockingly, giving it back to Nero. "Here, you forgot this, Your High Nobleness."

Nero snatched the jabot from Griffon's talon, almost damaging it, and said, "Just to inform you, Credo owned this, not me!"

"Kyrie's older brother, huh?" Nico asked.

"Yes, him!" Nero answered, almost wrongfully getting mad at someone who was innocently and peacefully resting six feet under the grounds of Fortuna. "And, I'm not wearing this FUCKING thing!" he announced through gritted teeth, starting to remove the offensive - smelling coat. Apparently, Kyrie found it proper to drench the thing with an awful amount of floral fabric conditioner, making Nero reek of fresh flowers.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait!" Nico held her hands up, stopping Nero's movements. "I'm telling Kyrie if you do that! You'll make her cry, man!"

"No! Don't you dare tell her."

"Stop being a bitch! It isn't that,..." Nico said, failing in her attempt to lie at him with her mirthful eyes. "... bad."

"Ha! You think I look bad? Just wait for V!" Nero mocked, hands on his hips like the "nobleman" that he was. "He crammed yesterday looking for one, since he didn't find any last Thursday."

"Ya think?" Griffon maliciously asked, his eyes devilishly looking down at Nero's pitiful and funny form. He flew towards the bathroom and shouted, "Hey, Shakespeare, you done now, or what? The pimple kid is mocking you! Come out already!"

"You'll see." Nero mouthed at Nico with a sinister smile, so sure that V would look even worse than him.

Oh, how very wrong he was.

When V finally came out, Nico's mouth dropped open in shameless admiration, and Griffon beamed with pride for his boy. Shadow, who was patiently waiting for V to come out, stretched her forelegs, yawned, baring her fangs at Nero, and went to her master with a proud swish of her tail. She was getting tired looking at the boy for an hour, and the sight of V changed into his formal wear was a real fresh change.

Nero, in an infernal kind of frustration, took off his coat and flung it to the other end of the room, knocking off one of the painted vases, making it plummet to the ground and break into tiny little pieces.

"Hey, psycho!" Nico shrieked at him. "Watch the furniture!"

"FUCK!"

***

The massive ballroom that held about a hundred people was, indeed, the topic of every male and female guests. The three crystal chandeliers that shone illuminated the pleasant below. The black - clad musicians mainly played jazz, and would sometimes add in classical numbers for the dances like the foxtrot and the waltz. The food was great, courtesy of the best chefs in the city, and the rich vintage, matched by the sparkling ones for the ladies, that was being offered by the maroon - liveried servants, never warmed, always cool and ready for some hot - headed guests.

The head of the house, who sat at the tallest box with some servants at his tow, watched in admiration for his feat of bringing together the country's most powerful Demon Hunters. He chuckled at the sight of the two most powerful ladies in the room, lively chatting with some noobs. He grunted at the sight of that lone man who was pestering the servants with more wine. But, most of all, he was getting anxious, for his most awaited guest have yet to arrive -

"Sire," a servant whispered to his ear. "Nero of the Devil May Cry Agency has finally arrived with his, ah, entourage."

The lord of the house rubbed his hands. "Perfect. Kindly inform the musicians to sound in their classics. I want to make this dramatic."

"Naturally." the servant nodded and left at once.

But, Nero and company was not aware of this, and the importance the lord actually held for him. So, when he descended the stairs, fancy coat, lacy jabot, sleek hair, and all, he could not help but miss a few steps at the sudden change of music, almost stumbling down if it weren't for Nico who helped him by holding unto his arm as tight as she could to prevent him from falling to the carpeted ground.

"Get a grip, man!" Nico, who began sweating, whispered savagely at him. "Hold it together."

"How coud I - !" Nero whispered back. "They didn't have to change the goddamn music!"

Nero was right. Now that the rest of the Demon Hunters in the room noticed his fanciness, and the matching harpsichordy - classical music, they couldn't help but giggle at his grand entrance.

"Stomach in, chest out." V, who was descending beside him, whispered to him in that velvety - low voice of his, subtly slamming the tip of his cane on Nero's back. "Chin,... up and proud."

Nero, who was honestly mad at V for wearing a less fancy formal attire and seriously thinking that he was just being mocked by the man, retorted angrily. "Stop embarrassing the hell outta me!" he gritted.

V gave him a sideways glance, jade eyes dangerously narrow and wicked grin deathly threatening. "I'm teaching you how not to embarrass yourself even further with that,... attitude of yours." he warned. "Now, if you do not want to stumble all the way down and sully the name of your great father, and his even greater father before him, I suggest you follow,..." then, as if by one last ounce of threat, V pushed the tip of his cane harder unto Nero's back, hurting him and making him stand up straight in the process as a gentleman should. "... my unsolicited and valuable pieces of instruction."

"Damn you, V - " angrily whispered Nero, gaining him a painful pinch from Nico, who was still holding unto his right arm. "Ouch!"

"Do as the man says or I'll hurt you!"

And so, with so much struggle, Nero finally made it down the stairs, surviving Nico's vicegrip and V's cold stare. And once he was down, the younger, less experienced Demon Hunters, who came there before them, started bugging him with questions regarding the Demon King he recently defeated.

V, having isolated himself from the crowd that started to form near Nero and Nico, breathed a sigh of relief. He leaned on the wall, watching them from a safe distance, when the classical music came to a halt.

If it weren't for the boy's lovely attitude, V would've enjoyed the evening. It was a fine event, after all, not considering the danger they would possibly get into later.

Some refined Demon Hunters, who actually bothered to listen to the otherwise boring music, clapped their hands, giving the artists enough motivation to start a new one. The leader signalled for a change of genre and a turn of a page, and when the musicians started playing once more, the room was filled with the most beautiful bossa nova that V has ever heard. These men really do have talent, he admitted.

And as if by some magical and wild form of chance, a very familiar scent made its way towards his nostrils.

Flowers. Freshly blooming in the morning.

He looked up at the staircase,...

... and became wide - eyed at the spectacle that was unfolding right before him.

For there, clad in something that only rivalled the stars above, was the most beautiful female he has ever seen in his entire, miserable, demonic and non - demonic existence.

***

🖤🖤🖤

[irepookie]

Infinity Chapter 4-

Meet The Family (PT.1)

Summary: QUEEN AU where Rog (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swearwords here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine

John: Rick Lincoln (Cause he is John Richard Deacon born on August 19th 1951™™™™™)

Brian: Terry Garrett (Cause my uncle used to have a black puddle named Terry and I had no choice)

Freddie: Len Mars (Yea I couldn't help myself)

Chapter 4- Row opens up with the boys about the raisin.

“I'm a dad”........

"Okay, let's... let's get over this again: A daughter?" Terry, the band's guitarist couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes, Terry. A daughter" Row repeated for the 19th time from the other side of the phone.

"A baby." Len said, taking another sip of his tequila.

"No, a 30 year old alpaca." Row said sarcastically. "Yes, a goddamn baby. Fucking gorgeous, just so you know"

"And you're gonna keep her." Rick, who had been quietly plunking his bass' strings, added. "Are you sure?"

"It's done. I've already kept her. And it's not like I'm rescuing a shelter dog. She's mine. Period."

"Sorry, was just trying to... Wrap my head around it"

To be honest, Row still couldn't quite believe it (that he was a father). Not even now, as he tried to convince his best friends while holding his girl with the other arm.

"And is your mom okay with it?" Terry asked

He scoffed, clutching his Lil raisin close at the thought "My mom has no say in this".

"But she knows" Rick said.

He sighed "Yes, she knows. And she was a bitch about it, okay? She can disown me for all I care". It's not like there was much to inherit, anyway.

There was a general sigh from his three best friends.

"And what are you gonna do?"

" 'bout what?"

"Um, I don't know, man. About School? Maybe about your life in general?"

"School ain't something I'm worrying about".

"What a surprise" Rick rolled his eyes.

"But you're still in the band right?" Len said

"Oh, of course. Of course. You guys are gonna be the only ones keeping me sane"

They chuckled

"But we ain't gonna babysit for you, huh?"

"As if you knew anything about babies"

"Well, the same as you." Terry said

"Just what I was saying: nothing at all" Row grinned

"Her future looks bright, then" Len half teased.

"Incandescent, in fact" Row could pretty much hear Terry's arched eyebrow.

The youngest member could only roll his eyes and try not to take it as an insult. He knew this was a lot to process all of a sudden and that in the inside, beyond the sarcasm and teasing, they were happy for him.

"Whatever, guys" he replied, as Pips began to frown. He sighed, knowing that meant smelly treat was on its way "Gotta go. By the way, she just told me she thinks you guys stink" he grinned, before hanging up.

The other three men exchanged a confused glance, and stayed in silence for a minute, until Len broke it:

"I say he'll go completely nuts in seven days".

"That long? Nah, I think less than 24 hours after they leave the hospital." Terry said

Len smirked "Bet?"

"I'm a bit tight at the moment, pal"

"Then not money. If I win, you'll be my model for the midterm design project. It's 30's fashion. For ladies, of course".

"Ok. But if I win you'll do my chores for a whole weeks."

"A whole week?!"

"Seven days, if you prefer it."

They shook hands "Deal. Rick? Join us?"

"I actually rather believe that they'll be alright" Rick got up and stretched.

"Well of course they will. Eventually. Row always figures things out." T said

"The fun part is to watch him go crazy in the meantime" Len chuckled "Like when he first moved in and left a fork in the plate when first using the microwave"

They laughed, remembering how their friend had called them at 9 PM in panic, screaming the microwave had exploded.

"Let's just hope for the best. I mean he seemed quite sure of himself this time. And who knows, maybe being a dad is the best way to grow up." Rick defended

"Yea, well a bit radical, don't you think?" Len said

"Like sock therapy. If smokers quit when diagnosed with lung cancer, maybe Row settles down now he has a baby"

"I just still don't get why he didn't just put her in adoption" T said

Rick shrugged "Would you if you were in his shoes?"

"Absolutely"

"That's exactly how Row would've answered, say, a week ago. That's what we all answer. Until it really happens. I think it's one of those situations where you can't really picture until you live it."

"But this is Rowan Queen we're talking about. Rowan <<Made out with both Jones Twins at the same party Cause I didn't remember which was which>> Queen. I mean, he does know that a kid is gonna freeze his sex life for indefinite time, right? What the hell was going through his head?" Terry said

"I can't believe you think that." Len interjected "I mean, I'm the one who's never gonna be a dad here, and the one who failed biology, but even I get it. He met her right? Before any decision was made, he met her. Once you meet your kid, you're tangled up forever. And you might think you're not but if you give them away you'll never get rid of a feeling of remorse."

"Wow, Lenny, that was deep"

"Yea, where'd you get that from?"

"Just common sense."

"Funny, considering you're the one who's started the bet" Rick grinned

"One thing doesn't prevent the other. And out of the two of us, I'm the optimistic! He gave him one day, I gave him seven! I trust him"

"Well I'm not sure if I do. I mean, I love him, he's a great guy, a great musician, and everything else, but he's not reliable. Remember his first job as a waiter? I'm still waiting for the fish and chips I ordered last April"

The other two chuckled "I once lent him a t-shirt, and I swear I saw Liz Michael's wearing it" Len said

"See what I mean?"

"Yes, well, we can't do anything about it, T. It's his life"

"But this affects us too, one way or another. This affects the band. And he didn't even consult us"

"Well what did you expect him to do? Call and go <<Hey guys, are you fine with me having a daughter? No? Okay, just checking. Bye>>?" Rick imitated a phone with his hand, doing a decent impression of their friend's high voice.

"A head's up would have been nice"

"Terry, just chill for fucks shake. I mean, this is unexpected, but Row's our best friend, our brother, and we have to support him. Because, if he's a dad, that's makes us her uncle's. And it'll be fun having a little niece we can spoil" Len smiled at the idea.

"Spoil? With what money?" Terry, always realistic, put his hands on his hips

"With the upcoming tour's, of course darlings" he twirled majestically around the room

"First, that's in four months" Rick reminded

"If it does happen at all"

They still had one last song to arrange And record. Plus, they didn't know how Row was gonna make it work now he had a baby. But nobody addressed that concern out loud.

"Oh don't be so goddamn negative, fellas! C'mon! We're uncle's! Row's made a very important, life-changing, mature decision, and we should be proud of him. So" he went to the fridge and returned with three beers "I say we toast for him and the lil Queenie"

The other two grinned and accepted the cans, opening them.

"Oh, I say we Split a fourth beer in his behalf, cause parents shouldn't drink while breastfeeding" Terry mocked, earning a laugh

"To the Queens" Rick raised his can "For our little bro to take this seriously and not fuck this kid up"

"To the Queens" Terry and Len crashed theirs as well.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Meanwhile, in the hospital...

"Goddamn it, raisin! How can someone so small produce so many colors of something so stinky?" Row exclaimed, holding his breath as he clipped the fresh nappy on his daughter "We only feed you milk! Like... Like white milk! How can you turn a white liquid into rainbow pudding? Holy shit" he held the dirty one at arms length and threw it in the bin "It's a damn good thing I love you, cause I won't do this for anyone else" he told her, lifting her up to his chest again before walking around the room

"You gonna be a good girl for me for the next eighteen years? Huh?" He kissed her chubby cheek "What am I saying? You're my daughter, of course you're gonna be a trouble maker. But we'll get along, you'll see. I ain't gonna be like my parents. Don't worry. I won't be a bloody pain in the ass like mom, and I will never ever do anything my old man did. That I can promise. But I gotta admit I do want you to be like Gina. Yea, she's a control freak sometimes, but let's face it: she's gotta be the strongest person I've ever met. You should've seen her kicking the bastard out the house. She took no shit."

He smiled somewhat proudly at the memory, and for a second forgot how mad he was at her for turning her back on them.

"You wanna be a badass gurl like her? Huh? Yes you do. Yes you do" he cooed, craning his neck so he could brush his nose with her little button one. Her fist chose to close around the nearest strands of blond hair on reach, which he found secretly adorable.

But a part of him did wish he had mom's support. After all, despite the rough patches through his teens, they had always had each other's back; through thick and thin. She had have to raise him all alone, and although he hadn't even begun with Pips, he already knew it hadn't been easy. She may be stern, and a bit inflexible when it came to negotiating allowance. She could come across as rude if you caught her in the wrong mood (which many neighbors had) but above all she was a good person and a good mother.

And looking back, he hadn't been such a great son. He could have been more responsible, less handful and more obedient. Less rebellious, too. He could have thanked her more often for the thousand things she did everyday. For the meals. For all the jobs she had taken to provide for the two of them. For the surprise birthday gift she had got him with the money she had been saving: a real drum kit. For helping him move out her house into that one room crappy appartement which would be Pip's home.

But still she had rejected Piper without a second thought, regardless of her anger towards him; Pips was her granddaughter, she had done nothing wrong and as her father, Row doubted he would ever forgive Gina.

He sighed, untangling the hand of his hair and bringing it to his lips "But you don't have to worry about all that. Just concentrate on staying strong and growing up. And I promise I'll focus all of me on being the best dad. That you'll never miss a mom cause you don't need one. You've got me and I swear I'll be enough. Even if I'm still young: I'll have it all more fresh won't I?" He grinned "You're the one person who's never judged me yet, and I don't wanna let you down"

That a was vow. And he was determined to keep it.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

This one goes to my mega-paragraphist @definitely-darcy who's got my engine going through the usual inspiration blocks, and who's reviews help me improve. She's made me believe in this fic, and encouraged me to keep going despite the one digit notes.

Xx- Pookie

[zealynstan]

Unlabeled Interview Part 4

Isabelle: Umm... Okay, so I wanna go back on a little bit about why I like this podcast is I can get a little deeper than what people see on social media.

Zealyn: Yeah. Mhm.

Isabelle: And what people see- umm... the stuff that we choose to share. So, for you, being an artist now, what's something that is in your daily life and that's part of the artist life that you either struggle with that most people wouldn't expect would be part of your life?

Zealyn: Oh my goodness! I think that the... hands down, the biggest struggle of an artist, especially- I have so many ideas through my head I want to do so much and the only thing that holds me back from doing things is money. Like that's- being an artist is expensive. It's every song costs x amount of dollars and every video you wanna do costs x amount and every tour you wanna do costs this and every- I mean, everything's so expensive and think that if I had a bank, which is usually a label, I think that if I had a bank, life would be so much easier and creativity would flow more because I'd be able to do every idea I think of.

Isabelle: Yeah.

Zealyn: But now I need to only choose... my- the most important things to me. I need to be very "pick and choose" and careful and make the most of everything, but I think that- was that the question? Was that-

Isabelle: That was the question. Yeah yeah.

Zealyn: Kinda.

Isabelle: Did I asked you- Yeah, I think I asked you. That was the question.

Zealyn: Right? And you said it was like the hardest thing an artist for me right now or something?

Isabelle: Yeah, people don't like- see people think- I think people think... that we're doing really well financially.

Zealyn: Yeah! Yeah. Totally, and I don't blame them for thinking that because on Instagram, I don't think I portray myself- you know what I mean like-

Isabelle: The pictures look professional.

Zealyn: Right! Exactly.

Isabelle: and everything looks glamorous and smooth.

Zealyn: Yeah.

Isabelle: So most people would look at that and say, "Wow! She's living a great life and she must be doing really well and she must be frolicking on the beach all the time." You know.

Zealyn: Right.

Isabelle: No!

Zealyn: But it's what people are seeing is a very well thought out and really "well cared for" process. And, you know, even it looks nice and it looks expensive and that's the point. I wanted to do that. I care about my brand, I care about my work, so I put everything I can into what I'm doing. So I'm glad that if people think, "Oh! She's-"

Isabelle: Yeah. The music is supposed to transport you like-

Zealyn: Yeah!

Isabelle: Even Instagram and social media, that's almost an art form because you are transporting people into thinking almost like of a fantasy life where maybe, you know, your music is taking them through a journey they need to go through and taking them out of their own problems that they're going through in their own life.

Zealyn: Yeah.

Isabelle: So all the pictures and everything represents almost like this illusion.

Zealyn: Mhm.

Isabelle: Which isn't a bad thing, that's why we love music because-

Zealyn: It's art! It's photography, it's an expression and I love it. I love all of it and umm... But yeah, if there's like an artist watching who's just like, "Ahh, your music is- I love music but I can't afford it." Like, I understand and I got ya like-

Isabelle: Yeah.

Zealyn: Every artist starts with nothing, you know, so-

Isabelle: A pen and a paper and maybe a friend who's gonna help them produce a song.

Zealyn: Exactly. And that's the other thing, I'm very thankful for so many friends and photographers and musicians who have helped me along the way and umm... yeah. It makes a huge difference.

Isabelle: That's like... we couldn't do what we do without so many supporters.

Zealyn: Oh yeah.

Isabelle: Whether it's friends who shoot photos for free, produce- those who produce your song for free, friends who are musicians who are like, "We'll lend you my, you know, I'll play guitar for you for an hour or for a show-"

Zealyn: Oh yeah.

Isabelle: We wouldn't be able to do any of this. There are very few people who can do it all like very few. And if you are in a position of... maybe you wanna be a songwriter, maybe you wanna be a dancer, maybe you wanna make videos of your own or produce a play or anything, don't be afraid to ask people. I think that's something that we do a lot of. We are always asking people to help us. So and... don't ever be afraid to say yes to something even if it doesn't pay or even if, you know, you don't make anything off of it, it's not about you. I think we can both attest that every single experience we've been a part of has helped us in some way.

Zealyn: Yeah. Absolutely. Oh for sure. But then also the flip side, if I ask someone if they can help me out with something at a low cost and they say, "No, I'm sorry.", that's fine. That's totally fine. We get it, everyone needs to make money, everyone's gotta support themselves. So I just think that- I think that money needs to be a more of an okay topic to talk about like it's okay. "Oh, you can't do this gig." That's totally fine, I understand or, you know, anyways-

Isabelle: Yeah, yeah. And to bring that to- you know, I'm really inspired by Zealyn because I'm about to go on my first tour in the summer and she's already been on one massive tour. Right, one? One big massive tour?

Zealyn: One. 2017.

Isabelle: And then- yeah, as Zealyn. And then, she's going on another tour. If she is near you, you have got to see her. I promise you like I do not "up" this many people about live performance and she is-

Zealyn: Aww.

Isabelle: She's one of the best so what are the dates you're going on tour?

Zealyn: Uhh so, we're splitting it up more this year so 10 days in May, 10 days in June and 10 days in August. And actually, some people are hearing this for the first time.

Isabelle: Oooh!

Zealyn: So we're doing Midwest in May, East Coast in June, West Coast in August. So umm...

Isabelle: Wow.

Zealyn: Yeah, not all the dates have officially been announced but they will soon. So yeah.

Isabelle: And go support her because I know, because I've called her many times, freaking out about budget. It's really expensive to go and get in a bus and take all of your musicians and pay for their food and pay for everything upfront. Like, if you could spare 10 or 20 dollars to go see a show like it goes so far and so, if you're on the fence, just know that- like that money, we normally don't make a dollar if anything, we go in the red from tours. If you can support her, just know that it goes so much further than, you know, just seeing her show, it goes beyond that for sure.

Zealyn: Aww thanks.

[zell-bell]

“Who is that?”

“She’s the Fox. Have you been living under a rock?”

“Oh, I’ve heard of her... The woman with violet eyes.”

Lights flashed in every direction as the stage began to come to life in every color, waves of spectrums rolling across its surface. Wood panels shifted around the edges until they clicked into place with a plethora of eyes peering up around them. The audience was hungry and many of them cheered in unison as a figure formed towards the back of the set as a silhouette behind large, silk curtains.

G’iselle stood in her place, waiting patiently for her cue. She exhaled slowly, calming her heart as it threatened to burst through her chest. Nearby, a Roegadyn she’d met a few days prior, stood stoically without so much as glancing her direction. He would be the one to set the pace of her performance tonight... he and his small band of musicians.

Zell bit her bottom lip and almost drew blood as a small Hyuran woman slid behind the curtain with her. Her blue eyes fixed on the Miqo’te with a smile reaching them, “You’re up, Miss Bellerose!”. She felt as if someone had slid the stage out from under her and she was plummeting somewhere far below.

“Very well, thank you, Alexis...”.

The Seeker stepped forward behind the group of men bearing their instruments, small and insignificant. This suited her for the time being as she caught her breath.

Around them, the lights had gone off and an announcer could be heard clearing his throat. Somewhere off to the side, Zell caught a glance of the man. A Lalafell. He stood atop a stool in a well-tailored suit covered in glittering sequins, bluish mess of hair on his head, waving his arm like a showman, twinkling eyes fixing on the massive crowd in the dark streets of Ul’dah. Some of them waved glowing sticks back at him as he began to speak, “And now, our last act for the evening! You’re in for a treat folks!”. He paused for dramatic effect and someone in the back yelled for him to get on with the show.

“As you wish, my impatient friend! Take it away, Miss G’iselle Bellerose! Your Fox of Ul’dah!”

As he turned to face the stage, it lit up like a million stars. The men in front of her stepped to the side and she was revealed to the crowd, which gasped in unison before falling silent as the Roegadyn readied his violin. The others around him had already set up.

Zell stood before everyone in her own stunning brilliance. A long evening gown flowed around her shoulders and down past her feet in a display of iridescent feathers that shifted from blues to pinks to purples. Her hair had been braided and hung loosely around her shoulder with crystals that made it look like her own personal galaxy. Her makeup only added to the theme. Every eye in the audience was on her, waiting for her every move.

As the violin began to play, she swayed in time with her eyes closed. One hand stayed against her breast as the other clung to the dress at her hip. Heels clicked on the stage just before the instruments around her drowned out the slight noise.

Violet eyes flew open as her black-inked lips parted and sultry, yet seductive tone filled the quiet crowd ahead.

“Everybody's always looking at me from afar.

Yeah, they are, I...

I can't help it, I was always meant to be a star.

I'm a star.”

One hand extended as if her words were meant for the audience and she quickly pulled it back towards her as she smiled while singing.

“They wanna be with me or just wanna be me

I could have them all.

But the one I desire is the one that just doesn't care.

It's not fair.”

Her eyes were focused on the crowd and her movements had picked up, swaying to the tune of the lead violin. It wasn’t lost on her that the man watched her intently as she danced with his song.

“All I want is you now.

But you're the only one that passes by.

All I want is you now.

Oh, I wish that I could read your mind.”

G’iselle offered the man a wink as she turned back to the others, her gaze meeting with many of those that had begun to sway along with her. Seeing their passion for her song, her dancing picked up pace and began to sweep along the stage, her flowing dress trailing her much like her tail. She spun in circles, throwing the train of the garment in the motion and revealing thigh-high leggings that glittered under the lighting.

“Why won't you kiss me? It's really so easy.

It's like you don't see me at all.

Why won't you love me? I know that I'm worthy

But right now you make me feel small.”

As the chorus finished, she paused her singing and allowed the violinist to continue as she consumed the attention of everyone below, dancing along the stage like a moth to the flame. The feathers swirled and dipped with her figure until she stopped and looked straight ahead again.

Every second that I'm thinking 'bout you is a dream.

Such a dream.

And I remember that you couldn't care less.

And it makes me wanna scream.

I'll keep my composure and act like I'm over it.

Like everything's okay.

But on the inside, I just wanna cry and cry.

It's not right.”

She grabbed at her throat in a mock action of screaming before falling to the stage on her knees, resting atop her dress. As the turmoil in the lyrics overwhelmed her, the crowd gasped again and she waved her finger at them. With a smile, she was back on her feet again, leaving with the music and allowing her voice to float on the air again.

“All I want is you now.

But you're the only one that passes by.

All I want is you now.

Oh, I wish that I could read your mind.

Why won't you kiss me? It's really so easy.

It's like you don't see me at all.

Why won't you love me? I know that I'm worthy.

But right now you make me feel small.”

The upbeat, poppy sound of her song started to fade when she stopped altogether, one hand outstretched to the heavens and the other between her breasts, heaving with her breath. As if the song had touched them in ways unknown, cheers filled the streets and flowers flooded the Miqo’te’s vision. Her eyes went wide with the adoration in front her... even seeing tears in some of the faces that looked back.

The Lalafell that had swept her onto the stage wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his suit either in earnest or otherwise, raising his tiny hand into the air to calm the cheering. His smiling face turned to G’iselle as she struggled to catch her breath.

“My dear! That was fabulous! Stupendous! No doubt the reason the hosts saved you as our last act! Thank you for sharing your voice with us tonight!”, he dipped low in a bow and motioned to the crowd. Cheers began again as the Roegadyn reached forward and placed a hand at her back, beckoning her to return behind the curtain. Zell nodded and bowed briefly to the audience and walked off with as much grace as she could muster while her lungs heaved.

When she disappeared from view, she exhaled and closed her eyes. Who knew she’d ever feel compelled to enter a talent contest in Ul’dah? It had been so long and she’d not seen so many people in a long time.

Just as she reached down to pluck the heels from her feet, she noted a shadow forming behind her. Based on its size, she knew exactly who it was. Her theory was correct and she knew as soon as the deep, serious voice followed its halt, “Thank you for allowing me to play, Miss Bellerose. I will remember this moment for as long as I live”.

Without allowing her to respond, he bent his head down for the slightest second before he walked away from her. The other men followed behind, each bowing before disappearing into another corridor to play at the after party.

She stood there, hands holding at her chest as reality finally caught up with her. Her heart had retreated back behind her sternum and she leaned against the wall to steady herself. Slowly, she slid down to the floor and clutched her dress to herself. A huge smile formed on her lips and she made a small noise from her throat of excitement, a tiny little yelp of happiness. She hid her face against her knees and spoke softly into the fabric there.

“I did it, Adam.”