#ASMI HAVE YOU SEEN THIS

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt VIII good omens a spoiler-free trailer

*walks into church, ignoring the gasps of the congregation* *holds mic to a terrified gentleman's face*

Have you ever wondered, what if the flaming sword at the Garden of Eden was insufferably in love with the Serpent?

*doesn't wait for response, shoves mic in shaking lady's face*

What if I told you, your bible studies are incomplete, because they are missing the most important story of all?

*cut to me in front of a white screen, walking seductively toward camera in a suit*

Worry not, for your prayers have been answered. Presenting, Good Omens, a kind-of biblically accurate story by Sir Terry Pratchett and Tumblr's own @neil-gaiman, now a TV show and queerer than ever. All you AO3 slow-burn hoes, we see you. You asked for it, you got it. Childhood friends is so last millennium, we give you instead, six thousand years of mutual pining.

*hard cut to David Tennant, whom I have stuck to a chair with Elmer's glitter glue* *he struggles, in vain*

Starring David Tennant and his signature slutty walk as Crowley, now in a ginger Barbie edition that comes with demonic eyes, every hairstyle and gender you could ever dream of, and instant outfit changes. It really is a miracle!

*camera swivels to focus on Michael Sheen, who is bound in blankets and looking deeply concerned*

Starring Michael Sheen the fae shapeshifter as Aziraphale, the sweetest, most cherubic murderous bitchy angel you've ever seen. Special features include automatic heart-eyes the moment he is faced with Crowley, a charming disregard for casual massacre in the name of God, and the instant outfit changes. Watch him melt your heart before breaking it! Bonus tip: try giving him sushi!

*cut back to the white screen, I am now sitting uncomfortably close to the camera*

Follow Aziraphale and Crowley as they alternatively try to follow and thwart God's ineffable plan, managing to spectacularly fail at both tasks with a consistency that amazes as it befuddles. Featuring alcohol, a bookstore, and metaphorical and literal fire as things get a little... heated in the Bible fandom.

*crossfade to Soho, I walk along the street as the camera follows me*

If that isn't enough to convince you, presenting also, idiot lesbians giving an ancient demon love advice, sexy horsepersons of the apocalypse, an unofficial wedding combined with burning Nazis alive where the most important part is the handing over of a suitcase, and the sexiest MILF witch Agnes Nutter, a literal bombshell.

*cut to disturbing close up of Neil Gaiman's face* *he tries to step away, and is met with my camerapersons*

Watch Neil Gaiman give you hope and shatter it again repeatedly, in a show where the literal apocalypse is only the background to a forbidden idiots who are lovers-to-lovers who are idiots story that is older than Time itself. Armageddon takes a backseat as Crowley serves gender, and if you thought the Antichrist was adorable, wait till you see him in Good Omens, where his evil powers are directed towards being the cutest kid he can possibly be.

*cut back to white screen, I smile ominously while twirling a human bone*

Good Omens, at your nearest Amazon Prime, with free UST, fluff, Queen, and plenty of tears. Don't miss it!

*text rapidly rolls across screen*

[Imagery has been used for representative purposes. No David Tennant, Michael Sheen or Neil Gaiman was harmed in the process of creating this advertisement. Good Omens will have expected side-effects, including unprompted sobbing, a Pavlovian reaction to bandstands, nightingales, holy water and 'the final fifteen', heartache for the foreseeable future, and intense lust for Crowley's elusive gender. Asmi is not responsible for any consequences resulting from the advertised product. Some features have been excluded from the advertisement due to space and time constraints.]

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Hi Lxi! You probably don't know me so hi, I'm Asmi (known for uh, being Good Omens Mascot). At least ten people have spent an hour and a half encouraging me to send this ask to say hi, because I suddenly (ineffably) got an attack of the nerves. After two preparatory asks, I am now here. Vel and the others say you're very nice, so I'm sending you an awkward wave, and I'm glad you're friends with Vel because they're amazing.

After said hour and a half of the ten people peer-reviewing my potential ask to you, I have made the dubious decision of going improv. Vel told me not to use any caps lock, but you know. Ngk. Used it anyway. At least I didn't throw in a David Tennant gif or use the word babygirl in any context referring to anybody.

So... wahoo? And thank you for your blog, I love everything you post :")

*waves* My errand here is done. Bye!

Hiyaa! :) <3 I've read your wonderful I-haven't-seen-GO posts! :D (no need to be nervous I think <3) Yes, Vel (orpinight, our brilliant Neil Gaiman FAQ maker! :)) is amazing!

...where is the caps lock part? :D (also, I have nothing against DT gifs or babygirl :D)

Thank youuuu :) Very happy you like the blog (ps. it's Ixi like ixi :) <3)

[an-ace-on-the-case]

The Newbie's Guide to Tumblr

Hey guys (gn), so I'm kinda new to tumblr and I have honestly no idea how to work this site, and I think a lot of other people get that too, so I have a proposal to make. I think we should compile a guide book of sorts to all of the people who are new. It can include things such as what all of the settings do, how to do cool things like that demon sigil font I've seen some people use, how mutuals work, general Tumblr etiquette and vocab, as well as significant lore events for Tumblr as a whole and different fandoms.

I probably won't be able to contribute much, but I will try and help.

Also, I feel I should probably come up with a way to address all of you other than "guys (gn)" bc that's kinda gendered. I have no ideas but if someone comes up with something please let me know! I'm thinking something asmi style, like maggots, but obviously not that bc that's asmi's thing. :)

@marie-menace @hoarder-of-dragons @sollunaastra @randomvoices @prettycottagequeer @dmc1155 @dashoulinas-fandom-dump @zonzolik @chocolatecoffeeshot @aazrael-reaverr @goblin-named-sam @1800ineedshelp @spicypotstickerbliss @friday-im-in-love-with-crowley @falling-raine @koboldkatalyst @good-usernames-were-taken @howmanyholesinswisscheese @arkytiorlecter @gyrovagus-bibliophile @aroaceblackhole @queermarzipan @madfangirlontheloose @random-doctor-on-the-internet @greenchrysanthemum20 @tranloan-blog2 @goose-shoes @styx142 @myrskytuulia

[voids-ideas]

Coraline but i've never watched or read it

I've been wanting to see this movie since the obsession with good omens started, but I haven't and now I decided: why not first do this Asmi style?

Any complaints about my lack of knowledge, can be directed to @weirdly-specific-but-ok for showing me this as a valid action

@neil-gaiman it's responsable of this

It is a children's film

For some reason everyone was scared when they saw it as children

The main character (who I assume is Coraline) has... blue hair?

Are there... dead characters?

Two worlds?

THERE'S A DOOR, I THINK

No way, Jay. Of course there's a fucking door, everything has doors

You can go from one world to the other through the door? Idk, you tell me. I say that's what doors are for, it should be like that. Doors are for going from one place to another, can you go from one world to another through the door?

Mom is not good

There are two moms

This, unfortunately, does not mean that it is a sapphic relationship, both have husbands, and are from different worlds

One is dead?

The one that's dead is the good one? (Oh gods, this sounds disturbing)

There's a scene where they're having dinner, it's the only scene I've seen, I think it's relevant, I don't know why

There are characters with buttons on their eyes

...

AT ONE POINT THEY TRY TO PUT BUTTONS ON CORALINE'S EYES!? TELL ME I'M WRONG, PLEASE. THAT SOUNDS DISTURBING

There's a book

I discovered there was a book when I googled how to spell the name of the movie. Three minutes ago

I don't know why I was surprised there was a book, it's Neil Gaiman, of course there's a book

Is there a dog? No, possibly not. Possibly this is me wanting there to be a dog. Tell me there's a dog, I want a dog. Or a cat, but for some reason the idea of a dog is more correct in my mind

There is a problem with the food, what is it? No idea. But there is something wrong with the food

I'll leave it at that because I've been feeling like I've been making it up since about number 12 or so

[writingsofwesteros]

No because betrayal knows no bounds is actually really cute if you think about it.

All three of them are used to being the second choice and now that they’re together they make each other feel as they’re first. Just Alicent and Lady Asmi (Harwin wife needs a name and Asmi means self confidence which she’s growing) cuddling with Daemon as they forget about the worries of being involved with the Targaryen family. Viserys and Rhaenyra have taken everything from them so it’s only right that they stick together.

Now onto spicy stuff🥵

Daemon and Asmi definitely pamper Alicent since she has the least experience with actually being pleasured so they make sure she feels good and cums at least twice before they do.

Asmi is definitely the guider for both Alicent and Daemon. She has to teach Daemon to ease Alicent into his kind of fucking since Ali can be easily scared and she has to teach Ali about the inner workings of pleasure.

Asmi doesn’t take moon tea at all because she wants Harwin and Rhaenyra to know. Rhaenyra’s not the only one that can have bastards and not be questioned. I mean have you seen Daemon?? Scary dragon privileges. Asmi and Daemon want Alicent not to take moon tea, but they leave the choice to her knowing her battle with the birthing bed.

Two words. THRONE SEX. Just imagine Daemon sitting on the throne being pleasure by his two lovers. Honestly sex just anywhere and everywhere. Daemon doesn’t give a shit to fuck his lovers in public. Asmi prefers the thrill of being caught, but still hidden. Alicent has to deal with these two menaces trying to undress her at every second of the day.

The servants at this point just don’t enter the room when more than one of them are in the same place. It’s just better that way. Many have been scarred for life mentally and sometimes physically (cough Daemon cough).

Also things get a lot better for Alicent’s children since there is no pressure for them to be king. Daemon is definitely going against Rhaenyra and he has the support of the greens and Lady Asmi.

But the drama can get so serious between everyone. Especially if Daemon just kills off Harwin with Larys. Like everything goes to shit for Rhaenyra when her father dies because she realizes that she truly has no power and she shouldn’t have stolen some else toy.

LOVE ALL OF THIS ! I BOW TO YOU!

They really just adore each other and they are all each other's first choice.

Love your explanation with the pleasure..and how Daemon has to take his time.

Asmi doesn’t take moon tea at all because she wants Harwin and Rhaenyra to know LOVE HER! So sassy!!

Also things get a lot better for Alicent’s children since there is no pressure for them to be king

Love that - Aemond is obsessed with Daemon ..its canon

[simplyotometrash]

MC summons Asmo but hes in the bathtub.

Like he crashes down from the sky IN the bathtub and the entire thing just crushes the ground. Marbels surrounding the tub falling everywhere, the water pipes landing all over.

Like,

Did the summoning work? Yes. Techinically.

Did he rescue you? Yes. In fact all the water pipes and marbles falling out knocked out everyone in the street. The cops are unconscious, the person being arrested is out cold, cars with dents everywhere. Bath water flooding everywhere. Mans didnt even need to get outta the tub.

Is MC ok? Yes but they need to get Asmi a towel or sumthing.

Is Asmo ok? NO. Mans just fell outta the sky, In the middle of his 300 step beauty routine, naked, in a tub. He’s fucking screaming and probs just saw is entire 6000 years of life flash b4 his eyes.

Okay, I didn't write the bathtub being summoned with him thing because I'm not sure if that's how summoning would work. But I still wrote naked Asmo because he was in the middle of a nice, relaxing bath.

Asmodeus x Gender-Neutral Reader

Genre: Fluff, comedy

Warnings: Naked Asmo, violence, stalking

Summoning Him at the Wrong Time (For Him): Asmodeus

It had been three months since you returned home from your year-long stay in the Devildom for the exchange program. You liked to believe you readjusted to human life pretty readily. You had been doing it since birth after all. It was nice to soak up the sun during the daytime and find yourself a routine to fall into. You needed that sense of security a routine gave you.

The hardest thing was adjusting to the long-distance relationship returning home had put you in. Asmodeus was a devoted, doting boyfriend who hated the distance even more than you. The two of you had gotten into a lot of trouble because you were "abusing your pact" just to see him on a regular basis. You guys had to settle for seeing each other every other weekend or so otherwise you'd invoke Lucifer's anger again, and you didn't want Asmo being punished.

Still, despite the hardships that being so far apart had, you and Asmo made your relationship work. You two were as strong as ever, if not stronger because of the distance. You had a set schedule for when you summoned him for dates and catching up in person. He always let you know if something was up that would prevent him from spending time with you.

You sat at work, bored out of your mind as time ticked by. You were stuck in retail, unfortunately, but you had some coworkers you liked that made the days more bearable. The promise of messaging or calling Asmo on your D.D.D later also provided hope to make it through. You had to remember to say thank you again since your D.D.D. was set up for multi-realm talk and text. If only regular phones could do that.

"So, MC," one of your coworkers said, "do you...uh...wanna get coffee with me this weekend?"

You looked at the coworker, Travis, and shook your head. Travis had been a bit...creepy. Desperate was another good descriptor. His lingering stares, constantly appearing out of the blue, you were positive he had followed you to your car a time or two at night. He was obsessed.

"No, I don't. I have a boyfriend. We've got a date this weekend." You tried to ensure that you weren't apologetic in your rejection. Apologizing always seemed to make people persist. You needed to be firm.

"Really now? I've never seen you with anyone before." His tone was accusatory and defensive. You were getting more and more uncomfortable.

"Yes, I do. We've been dating for months now. Even if I didn't have a boyfriend, I'm not interested." You left the conversation at that.

You got up and went to busy yourself with anything you could find to get away from Travis. You also made sure to pass along word of what happened to your manager, who wasn't much older than you, and let her know what a problem he was being. You had reported him constantly, as had other people, but your store's hiring manager refused to do anything about him. You just did what you could to get by.

The rest of your shift was relatively uneventful, but you could feel Travis constantly staring at you. After clocking out, you hurried to get out of the store. Your car was in for repairs and you hated public transportation, so you needed to hoof it home and hope you got there safely. It wasn't too bad. You only lived a couple blocks away. You just preferred driving because it meant you could take your time in the morning, have a safe haven for lunch, and get home in just a couple of minutes at night.

This night did not go as smoothly as you had hoped. You were booking it home. The hairs on your neck were at full attention because you knew Travis was around. You had seen him leave the store behind you and he walked behind you, keeping just a bit of a distance.

You couldn't just go home. Not with him following you. He already knew where you lived but it just didn't feel safe. So the plan had been to loop back to the store and while on the phone with the police. That failed miserably. Your phone was almost totally dead, so you needed to get back to the store before you could even make a call.

And then, suddenly, he had you pinned to the wall in an alleyway.

"Why won't you notice how much I like you? You keep blowing me off, lying about having a boyfriend! I've never seen you with a guy! I've watched you constantly!"

He was ranting and raving at you. You didn't feel safe to even try attacking him in order to get away. He was desperate and creeping you out. He openly confessed to stalking you! You couldn't be sure he didn't have a weapon on him either. Asmo, I wish you were here right now! was all that you could think.

A familiar smell suddenly wafted through the air. Asmo's favorite soap. You would recognize it anywhere, it was the same soap you used because he brought it with him one day as a gift.

"What the hell is this?" Asmo's voice sounded to your right. You turned, relieved to know he had been summoned even if by accident, only to be met with quite the sight.

Asmodeus was completely naked, soap suds clinging to his body and conditioner clearly slicked in his hair. He had been taking a lovely bath before he was oh-so rudely summoned. If it was Solomon then he would have gotten an earful. If it was you, well, you would have still gotten an earful but also a lot of concern because you didn't often summon him outside of your dates.

You could practically see the aura coming off of him. He was beyond pissed off.

"Get your hands off of my partner right now before I make you." Asmo gripped at Travis's wrist. There was no charming smile nor attempts to make Travis fall under his usual charm that he used to get his way. No, Asmo was livid.

"Dude, what the fuck? Why are you naked? Who even are you?" Travis spat at your boyfriend's face. Literally spat at him. Wrong move because you watched Asmo shift into his demon form.

"H-holy shit-" Travis gasped.

Asmo pulled Travis off of you with ease and twisted his arm behind his back. Your boyfriend almost never got violent. Not when he could use his charms. When he did get violent though...well, it wasn't a pretty sight.

"Asmo, let him go! He's not worth it!" You touched your boyfriend's arm and his look softened.

"Only because you said to." Asmo released Travis and narrowed his eyes again. "You will never come near MC again. Ever. Do you understand me? Now leave."

You recognized what he was doing. The way Travis suddenly was entranced, Asmo's eyes faintly glowing. He decided to use his charm after all since you wouldn't let him get even more violent. You preferred it this way. Asmo was a gentle person, he didn't like getting his hands dirty.

"I understand." Was all the hypnotized Travis could say before stumbling off.

It made you relieved that his hypnotic charm didn't work on you. Asmo's power was terrifying to see in action. He could make anyone else do whatever he pleased. You being unaffected by his power was something he loved. It meant you guys were on an even playing field. Anything between the two of you was genuine and real.

"Thank you, Asmo." You shrugged off your knee-length coat and handed it to him. "Put this on and come back to my apartment. You can rinse off and wear some of the clothes I may or may not have stolen from your wardrobe before I left."

He giggled and slid on your coat, zipping it up so he wasn't totally exposed. While he wasn't opposed to staying nude, he knew it wasn't exactly legal in your world.

"I guess this means we start our date weekend early."

[totallynotashs]

A Scar Means You Survived - AU

Based on Headcanon #17

I am calling this AU "A Scar Means You Survived" aka ASMYS because it focuses on both seen and unseen scars of those inflicted pain and trauma by William Afton.

William kills Gabriel, Jeremy, Susie, Fritz, and Cassidy. He tries to kill Charlotte but is caught by Michael. All evidence points to Willy for the previous children’s murder and he is sentenced to life in prison. Charlie has a slash scar on her shoulder. It would have been deep had Michael not pulled her away.

Michael is old enough to take Evan on as a dependent so Henry does not “adopt” them. However, Michael never went to university because of this.

While in High School, Michael dates Jeremy (in secret because it's the 80s). They also worked together until the bite of ‘87 which leave Jeremy in a vegetative state.

Flash forward a few years, Michael still visits Jeremy but not as often...

Charlie and Sammy have both gone and returned from university. Charlie has a dual degree in Business and Marketing with a minor in Engineering and Sammy has a dual degree in Robotics and Coding.

Out of pure luck, Charlie and Michael run into each other. Charlie invites him and Evan over for dinner at Henry’s house and they catch up. As time goes on, they find that they are still struggling with the trauma William has inflicted on them. This pulls them even closer together.

They start dating. After a year, they are engaged. In another five months, they are married. Michael hyphenates his name to Afton-Emily. Charlie keeps her surname.

Henry retires and passes the business on to Charlotte and Sammy. Charlotte shares her half of the business with Michael since they are now married (but only a small percentage since Michael doesn’t really want a huge part of it).

Five months after their honeymoon, Charlie learns she is pregnant. Four months later, Lauren Elizabeth Afton-Emily is born. They call her Lori for short.

After Lori is born, the business begins pulling Charlie away from home more and more often. So Michael ends up being the stay-at-home dad while Charlie travels.

Once Lori is old enough to go to preschool, Michael begins working again, mainly to help out at the Pizzeria in Hurricane while Charlie travels around opening up more locations.

Since Evan is attending the local University, he lives at home with Michael and Charlie. Whenever he isn’t busy, he cares for Lori. Sammy does too because he doesn’t want Lori to be constantly going to daycare (because have you seen how they treat those kids?? It's so sad!) Lori grows very close to both her uncles and has developed interests in them: drawing and robotics. Despite this, she still craves her parents' attention. (Lori picks up drawing because Evan told her that Michael used to draw).

For her 13th birthday, Lori has a party hosted by Michael, her uncles, and her grandfather. Charlie isn’t able to come home. Lori doesn’t enjoy the party as a bunch of random kids from her school were invited. Lori ends up hiding away in her closet while the others make fun of her for “being weird.”

When Henry realizes that she didn’t have a good time after the kids leave, he gifts her Helpy so that she’ll never be lonely. 

Shortly after turning 13, Lori begins trying to make attempts at being around her father by making him dinner and taking it to him. This becomes the norm for a year.

After Lori’s 14th birthday, Sammy shows her some of the animatronics and really sparks her interest in robotics. Michael hates this and tries to keep her away from them.

News breaks: William has escaped prison. Michael tells Lori to stay home at all times but doesn’t tell her why. Lori has never met William and the others have refused to talk about him around her.

Lori ignores Michael’s command to stay home and brings him dinner one night. Unbeknownst to everyone, William is already inside the Pizzeria and has dawned on the old Spring Bonnie suit.

William tries to kill Lori, not knowing that she is his granddaughter (it's not like he would have not tried to anyway, let’s be honest). Michael tries to protect Lori but William knocks him out. Miraculously, Charlie returns home after a long trip and saves Lori. William gets Spring Trapped. They don’t save him. William bleeds out.

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Physical Scars:

Charlie has two on one shoulder. One from childhood, one from saving Lori. She has permanent damage to her nerves now.

Michael has one just over his brow where he got knocked out.

Lori has one on her leg where Willy cut her.

Traumatic Scars:

Henry was betrayed by his best friend.

Michael has abandonment issues and often thinks of himself as a bad parent. He wants what's best for Lori but is unsure how to provide for her.

Evan never sees himself being a parent.

Charlie has nightmares regularly and is fearful of knives.

Sammy blames himself for nearly getting Charlie killed.

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Special thanks to all my mutuals that helped me get the brain juices going to think of this.

[breaniebree]

Thanks a lot for your wishes it means a lot! The wedding date is yet to be finalized, but unlike Zee I got a really lovely intertwined hearts pendant, which I am loving! :D Now an Anon ask about the MIA & Knight of Aurors got me into thinking a few questions: 1. Are Knight of the Aurors only wizards & not witches? I think it should be both. Girls can do almost everything! 2. Are Knight of the Aurors only selected from MIA? 3. Who selects them? How do they work? Do they have a headquarters or council? 4. When are the Knight of Aurors needed? Do they have some kind of secrecy contract or something like an oath? 5. Do their families know that they are K of A? How many people are supposed to know about them? 6. The gold pin/badge which Bas have, I am pretty much sure it is of the K of A, as it is described to have a cloak around a dagger & a wand, which symoblises the Cloaks & Daggers for which they work! Honestly I just loved the pin, I can imagine how brilliant it looks. 7. I am pretty sure Theo is going to find out about Bas being a K of A & getting surprise just as he was to find the OOTP, 'cause he thought they were myth. Have you written them? I mostly am looking forward to this part! 8. Do K of A's have a different training? Do they work with a team/partners ? 9. Do MIA special aurors have their cabins or just the heads have them? 10. Are MIA aurors paid more than the DMLE aurors? I think yes. Do the K of A gets paid? I think they should.

Also, I think Theobas are safe in this attack as we haven't seen much of them. I don't know about later. Don't get me wrong if I sound accusing 'cause I am accusing, first you make us fall in love with them & then you kill them & leave us to cry for them for forever. Jus like you did with Sirius, Finn, Ted & Andromeda. I really love you, but don't take it to heart when I say I don't trust you on killing the people we love' front, 'cause I don't. But, come on you also love Theobas just as much as I do! But pls don't kill them I won't be able to take their death & Remadora's. I may sound rude or evil, but if you plan on killing, kill both Theo & Bas, or don't kill any, I can't take any more of Theo's sadness & pain & I don't even want to think about Bas mourning Theo. As to Remadora, canon gave the pain of their deaths, ASC is our happy place, hope you get my drift! Lastly, I apologize as I didn't intended it to be this long, just the questions, but one thought gave rise to another. I quite enjoy these convos, but then I remember, I have an office to go to & a job to do :/ I hope you understand. ~~Asmi

Hi, Asmi

Thank you!

Those are a lot of questions and I will answer them as I can.

Are Knight of the Aurors only wizards & not witches? I think it should be both. Girls can do almost everything! -- If the KofA exist (which is only a myth of course) then Sebastian, Durant, and Yeona are all KofA which means, yes girls can do everything as Yeona is a witch.

Are Knight of the Aurors only selected from MIA? Who selects them? How do they work? Do they have a headquarters or council? -- If the KofA exist (which is only a myth of course), then yes. But Aurors can leave the DMLE to join the MIA if a job opens up. But usuall applicants are chosen from the Auror Academy. If they exist -- they are a secret branch within the MIA Auror Department.

When are the Knight of Aurors needed? Do they have some kind of secrecy contract or something like an oath? -- MIA Aurors in general work as international peacekeepers. They are there to support domestic and international issues and can be sent to work wherever at any time, though there are certain groups who only work undercover and only do longterm international missions. Others are more home based or work internationally from the different field offices. If the KofA exist (which is only a myth of course) then yes, they would have to sign an oath.

Do their families know that they are K of A? How many people are supposed to know about them? -- Some families are aware they are working in a secret government agency, but generally no. I think the KofA are a super secret organization that very few people know if it actually exists. They cannot tell someone of their KofA status, however, if someone is to guess, there is a loophole.

The gold pin/badge which Bas have, I am pretty much sure it is of the K of A, as it is described to have a cloak around a dagger & a wand, which symoblises the Cloaks & Daggers for which they work! Honestly I just loved the pin, I can imagine how brilliant it looks. -- Hmm, it could be. But as I said, they are a myth and there is no proof they exist. Yet.

I am pretty sure Theo is going to find out about Bas being a K of A & getting surprise just as he was to find the OOTP, 'cause he thought they were myth. Have you written them? I mostly am looking forward to this part! -- Maybe, but only if they exist of course ;)

Do K of A's have a different training? Do they work with a team/partners? -- Same training but as Aurors but more detailed. They are required to know a minimum of 5 languages and be more sufficiently trained in Muggle duelling, martial arts, and politics. They have to be prepared for anything.

Do MIA special aurors have their cabins or just the heads have them? -- Not sure what you mean by "cabins" but they do have their own department run out of the MIA in Londonderry.

Are MIA aurors paid more than the DMLE aurors? I think yes. Do the K of A gets paid? I think they should. -- Yes they do and yes of course, if they exist ;)

Thank you!

[steve-two-phones-mackabee]

The Spanish Princess (Starz)

I went a bit out of sequence for this, because my free Starz trial ends September 1st and I don’t trust my ability to get through three whole seasons of The Borgias and finish The Spanish Princess in a week and a half. So I skipped The Borgias for now, but will be watching it next. After being kind of meh about The White Princess, I was pleasantly surprised how much I liked this series. I managed to blow through all eight episodes in about three days.

However, now I find out there is a season two of TSP coming, but it’s not available in Canada yet, it seems.

The Good: This show is hilarious if you know anything about Henry VIII and all his wives. There are so many little lines of dialogue that are like little Easter Eggs, such has Harry’s promise to never, ever love another. Oh boy.

In the early episodes I liked how they introduced some of the cultural differences between Spain and England. Historical drama has a tendency to be very Britain-centric, so it’s a refreshing change to see England treated as this ‘strange new place’ especially when it’s in that sort of “What is wrong with these weird, repressed people? They don’t even WAIL at FUNERALS? Or BATHE every day? or NAP?” way.

There’s a bigger time jump between this and The White Princess, so the aging up of characters seemed more reasonable and not as jarring.

The Bad: Some of the accents are.. oh boy. Also, all of the men of the privy council kind of look the same, and all seem to be named Thomas.

Favorite Characters: Catherine is a strong main character, and I’m rooting for her, even though we all know things don’t turn out great for her.

Maggie Pole continues to be a favorite, and continues to get a raw deal when all she wants is to be left to her own devices. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Princess Meg and I am looking forward to seeing more of her in season two. She’s just feisty and no-BS and I love her relationship with her brothers, and her introduction to her husband and the big smile on her face makes me hopeful she’ll be happy with King James, even with all his kids.

Least Favorite Characters: Being outside the fourth wall and having the foresight of history is a terrible thing because I already dislike Prince Harry, like, a lot.

Margaret Beaufort, won’t you just die already? I can’t believe I’m saying that considering how much I loved her character in The White Queen.  But early Margaret was a much more sympathetic, if single-minded character. That said, I’ve seen three different women portray her in the last month, and while Amanda Hale is still my favorite Margaret, Harriet Walter really brings home how ‘My Lady, the King’s Mother’ manipulated those around her, something that Michelle Fairley’s portrayal unfortunately lacked.

OTP: Lina + Oviedo: I hope those crazy kids can make it work. Catherine + Arthur: We could have had it aaaaaaallllll

Forget everyone else, I don’t care if it is historically inaccurate, I loved Maggie + Thomas More just because want all the goodness for Maggie and also the actors had amazing chemistry.

Faces I Recognized: Charlotte Hope (Game of Thrones), Angus Imrie (Fleabag).

So, I looked through the casting page and got super freaking excited to see not only Mark Rowley (The Last Kingdom), but Ray Stevenson (Rome) listed and I cannot describe the disappointment in knowing I won’t see either of them until next season, although I think I caught a 2-second glimpse of Mark in the background of episode 2 when Meg gets betrothed to King James of Scotland. I think he *may* have been one of the two dudes who showed up with William Dunbar. Did I go back over that scene several times to see if it was him? I might have.

EDIT: So I barely recognized Ray Stevenson as King James, but I sure recognized Mark Rowley and my poor little heart broke each time asmy brain screamed “MY SWEET SWEET FINAN WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?”

That said, he did well in the role, it was just hard to watch him be such a dick.

Maybe I need to learn to separate characters from their actors more. Nah.

“Historical” Drama Rewatch List

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

a mix-up of good omens-coded songs (idk how to title this--)

Hellooo my maggots, so there were a number of songs that were just so good omens and ineffable lovers coded that I had to see how they sounded together. But me being me, I don't know how to actually mashup songs, so I just sang it the way I'd have wanted to mashup the songs and made it into one song.

Of course all songs remind us of Good Omens now, that's a different matter of significant concern. But these especially were very Aziraphale and Crowley's religious-trauma-and-being-queer vibey.

The songs I cover here are (in order and excluding repeats) Devil's Backbone by the Civil Wars, Take Me to Church by Hozier, Angel By the Wings by Sia, Falling by Harry Styles, Holy Water by Noah Davis, The Village by Wrabel and Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.

And, well. Yep. The lyrics in the order that I sing them are below the cut. Thank you maggots for dragging me into this brainrot it is painful and unholy and I love it here so so much. Thank you @falling-raine for yelling at me to post this. Wahoooooooo!

[LYRICS] Oh lord, oh lord, what have I done I’ve fallen in love with a man on the run Oh lord, oh lord, I’m begging you please Don’t take that sinner from me Oh, don’t take, take, take, take Take me to church, I’ll worship like a dog At the shrine of your lies, I’ll tell you my sins And you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death, good god, let me give you my life Oh lord, oh lord, what do I do? I’ve fallen for someone who’s nothing like you He’s raised on the edge of the devil’s backbone I just want to take him home Oh, I just want to take, take, take So take an angel by the wings, Beg her now for anything,  Beg her now for one more day Just take an angel by the wings Time to tell her everything Ask her for the strength to stay What am I now? What am I now? What if I’m someone you won’t talk about? I’m falling again, I’m falling again I’m falling  I’ve walked through hell and back again Cause I’m a man who loves a man No you don’t need to pray for me No I don’t need your Holy water I don’t need your sympathy, sympathy, your— Holy water Just cause you think differently, differently There’s nothing wrong with you It’s true, it’s true There’s something wrong in the village, in the village Oh Coz I’ve been there, sitting in the same chair Whispering that same prayer half a million times It’s a lie though, buried in disciples One page of the Bible isn’t worth a life But I’ve heard there was a secret chord That David played and it pleased the Lord But you don’t really care for music Do ya? And it’s not a cry that you hear at night It’s not somebody who’s seen the light It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah Hallelujah.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I love them so much.

[samareshc]

ASMI BANQUET

[jeepsy-yogi]

My Yoga Journey

I am often asked about my yoga journey; and the full story is one I rarely tell.

Why I sought yoga is the part I usually leave out~ this story is full of pain & heart break!

How I got here, that is an interesting story.

As young as eighteen years old, I was searching for something; something I could not find and I didn’t even know what I was looking for.

I knew I needed help!  

I knew I had a broken spirit!  

I knew I was damaged!

I would read self-help books on how to survive childhood sexual abuse and eating disorders; this is where I started, I knew I had these problems….

I began meditating; learning about chakras and auras.  I changed my view of food; it was now a source of energy my body needed to survive. I tried very hard even back then to eat healthy.  As I grew, my definition of eating healthy changed and grew with me. 

I bought my first yoga dvd from Avon; and after the kids went to bed I would do yoga with Rodney Yee or Tae bo with Billy Blanks dvd….

After my kids was around teen and preteen they joined the local taewondo school; I realized they had yoga classes too.  I did not know how in the world I would afford it; but I signed up so excited to experience yoga in a live setting.  I absolutely loved the class; soon I needed more than was offered. 

I was looking for a traditional yoga class with pranayama, meditation and inspirational teachings…. I got a fitness class using yoga poses.  

After some time, the move to Florida took place and I stopped doing yoga in a classroom setting. I did it alone and with the Wii Fit.  

My practice was stagnant; I could not continue to grow without a teacher!

…. I gave up!

Still in Florida, with lots of yoga studios around and even yoga on the beach…. I never went.

Soon I became sick; I was showing signs of Multiple sclerosis and so the testing began. During the tests they found other issues.  I was extremely anemic, I began getting iron infusions immediately.  And there was a protein in my blood work that according to them was simply not suppose to be there and it didn’t make sense.  They repeated some tests and added more; only to later confirm, I had the a precursor to Multiple Myeloma.  What did that mean, I have the abnormal protein level in my body the level was not high enough to call it multiple myeloma; it needed to be monitored every six months via blood work.

Scared and emotionally alone, I make the decision to move back to Tennessee. My husband did not!

Due to the MS, I was having trouble with my balance and coordination; I was too embarrassed to go to a yoga class so I started working with my wii fit again!  And to be perfectly honest, at this time in my life I could not afford to pay for a yoga membership! 

This is where I really dived deep into my self practice; I read everything I could get my hands on that had to do with yoga. HEALING with yoga!  I was not looking for a cure to my illnesses; I was still looking to heal my mind, my spirit.

 Through my practice, through my studying I began to find the peace within myself….

Fast forward a few years; my beautiful daughter is graduating high school and I decide now is the time to follow my journey, my path!  I want to teach yoga….

Where, how, what do I do!  The only “style of yoga” I had ever seen taught in a studio was YogaFit; so I sign up for a weekend training in Atlanta for level one & two through YogaFit.

…. the universe had other plans.

My daughter was scheduled for surgery during the same timeframe as the training!  OK Universe!  Training is canceled until further notice…..  In passing I mention this to another yogi; she tells me about a local gal doing a weekend training only 45 minutes down the road.  She told me she was going to take the training and I should really check into it….

Within a couple of days I was signed up for my first yoga teacher training; this would be my lovely teacher Cheryl of whom I am beyond words grateful.  She changed my life, my world in such a great way.

I was introduced to restorative yoga, pranayama & yoga nidra all I needed so desperately in my life!  OH and Sanskrit! I had no clue what she was saying most of the class and thought I was going to break my neck trying to see what she was doing!  AND this was amazing, healing, soothing, comforting this was what had been missing from my “workout” .  This was giving my body the tools, space and time it needed to recover and restore.  This was not about how many planks I can do in a class, or how long they can be held.  This was about getting quiet and letting my mind, body & spirit communicate with each other about what it needed next.

After my weekend training, I quickly wanted to introduce this to as many people as possible.  EVERYONE needed to feel this, what ever this was!

Not knowing how to start exactly I begin teaching my daughter and step mom and of course Oliver was right there only a few months old.  Soon I had to courage to post on social media that I would be offering free yoga classes at the local neighborhood park.   I did this weekly depending on the weather; some weeks I would have 3-4 and some days I had as many as 25 students showing up.

Now I have a plan!  

Step ONE: Massage school, with plans to open a massage and yoga studio after graduation!

November 2016 ~ this was completed!  Creekside Massage & Yoga Studio was open for business!

Step TWO: Find a yoga school to get 200 hour training; not just any school will do.  I searched for months and finally settled on White Crow Yoga in Nashville TN- I would travel to Nashville one weekend a month for seven or eight months.

Step THREE: Wanting to teach others to teach yoga; I needed to continue my training!  Find the right 300 hour training; and I did!  It started up as the 200 ended there was little downtime between the two.  This training took place in Chattanooga TN; we would meet 8 days in a row every 6 weeks or so.  The training was held at Peace Strength Yoga; the teach was Dolly of, Sacred Awakening/Asmi Yoga she would come in from Oregon for the training.  During this training I removed mask after mask and began to see me for the first time; I walked away seeing the wisdom within my self and how to stop and listen. I let go of hurt and pain I had carried for years!  I learned to embrace the wise wild sacred women within! In this training we created a bond, through the growth, the tears and snot and I love and honor each beautiful soul who was present!

June 2018 ~ this was completed! I am now a RYT500

July - December 2018 ~ I lived several lifetimes during these months.  I moved the business to my home, my second grandson was born, lost my love, lost my livelihood and it was time to rise.  To do the work; to encourage other women; to lead trainings and retreats teaching women of all ages now is the time to heal you, and show you how to use the wisdom you already have within to recover and restore!

January - October 2019 ~ I lead two women retreats (instead of one) and a 200 hour yoga teacher training as well as lead several restorative classes!  Become a certified birthing doula through Lori Love of Earth Wisdom Doula in Chattanooga TN; one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  I have since witnessed and supported several families as they welcome the new baby into the world; including performing sacred ceremonies welcoming baby and honoring mama!  During this time my first granddaughter is born!

October 2019 ~ I am now a E-RYT200/RYT500

November - March 2020 ~ By this time I’m wrapping up my second 200 hour yoga teacher training, I have led several workshops and trainings from reiki & charkas to Ayruveda.  I have had to postpone my spring retreat and unwilling to plan a fall retreat; I have moved out of the downtown studio, we had just gotten started.

What’s next…..

[merryfae]

Yall mind if I rant: The Sequel Nobody Wanted

The newest comic got me to question my stance on Korra/sami yet again (the dashes here exist to keep it out of the tags, just in case that’s still a problem). The short version of this is that my stance really hasn’t changed. (Also, just a headsup, I haven’t read my old anti k/s post in a long time, but it’s probably full of logical fallacies and the lot, so…what I’m getting at here is please don’t judge me based on what I’ve written in the past). 

I remember when I loved LOK. Book 1, I was able to look past the flaws, because the tension, characters, and atmosphere was so good. Book 2, the flaws became harder to overlook, but the Avatar Wan episode was definitely an experience. Book 3 was an entirely solid outing, though I missed some of that original atmosphere from Book 1. And then Book 4. I was so excited for the finale, because Book 4, despite its flaws, had been pretty great. But through the majority of the finale I was thinking to myself, “is that it?” Like, don’t get me wrong, there were some good fight scenes between Korra and Kuvira, and Mako’s sacrifice was pretty powerful, but most of it was underwhelming. It felt less like a wrap up of the show, and more like a wrap up of that season. Nothing from past seasons really tied together with the exception of the spirit portal. Plot elements from past seasons that could have been integrated into the show were dropped altogether. I don’t know. It was disappointing. 

So I was already in a bad mood, and the entire ending with Korra//sami kind of killed it even more for me. Because representation is important, no doubt. I push for it a lot myself. But not when it impedes the storytelling. The storytelling of LOK? Didn’t warrant it. This is coming from someone who, at the start of Book 3, loved the idea of Korra/sami. Their interaction in the car? Adorable. Asami sparring with Korra? Great. But there was nothing in future episodes to build up to a romantic conclusion. There was a scene where Korra blushed when receiving a complement from Asami. That’s the only scene between Korra and Asami that implied romantic intent. That and Mako’s whole, “What is with you two???” thing when they all go out for lunch, but goodness, if that wasn’t the most forced, inconsequential conflict I’ve seen in this series. I mean, if you have to tell the audience that there’s something going on between these characters instead of showing us, maybe there’s a reason a portion of your audience didn’t latch on to your intent. 

The problem with every scene where Asami and Korra interact (aside from the fact that they don’t bond over internal, character-building struggles, and instead just solve external problems together) is that most scenes are just Asami supporting Korra emotionally. Which, okay, for another character, that could imply romance. However, Asami’s character is already naturally caring and nurturing. She was already a character who was entirely supportive of the rest of the cast, so it’s no stretch of the imagination by any means to view her supporting Korra with tea or her offering intimate support when Korra is devastated in the Book 3 finale as inherently platonic. And, given that she was a support figure already, Korra sending her letters that the others “wouldn’t understand” can likewise read as platonic. This would be different if a character like, say, Opal interacted with Korra in similar ways after her introduction, a character who did not exist to offer unconditional support to our main leads already throughout the show, and whom Korra alternatively exhibits support for in Book 3 (or maybe I just really like their air bending scene together. I don’t know. Don’t hold me to that one). And that covers basically all of Korra and Asami’s interactions – Asami offering Korra support, and Korra accepting (usually) that support. That is, aside from those short (very short) but sweet moments at the beginning of Book 3. Plus, Book 4 takes place after a years-long gap as well, so the fact that we’re only shown them interacting once outside of the finale in Book 4 really speaks volumes. Which is not to mention that, aside from that last scene they have together, they hardly interact in the finale at all. I wanted to like this ship. I really, really did. But not when the writing didn’t add up. 

And then there’s the fact that Bryke’s claims that Korra/sami was intended from the beginning are obviously false. I mean, they’re on record saying that after Book 2, relationship drama had come to an end, and they were ready to focus on friendship. If I remember correctly, the voice actors had to be called back in after the finale had already been finished in order to include that last scene with Korra and Asami. It was literally last minute. 

It certainly doesn’t help that I dislike basically every ship in LOK. I never liked B/opal either. I didn’t like M/asmi, and Ma/korra didn’t have the best development itself. Honestly, I don’t think Bryke are good at writing romance period. But I’m angrier about Korra/sami, because not only is it a relationship involving the show’s main character, but it’s the central focus of the scene that ended the entire show. Say what you want about Kat/aang, but at least that ship was planned and introduced beyond minimal amounts of subtext from day one. It was a consistent part of the story. And alternatively, if LOK had ended with Ma/korra like it did in Book 1, I wouldn’t be necessarily pleased with it, but at least there was a textual history there between the two. 

And I hear the arguments about how Bryke couldn’t include textual evidence of Korra/sami because it was a ship between two women. Okay, point taken. I mean, they did admit that they didn’t even bother asking Nick until last minute, but I digress. But jeez, you could at least develop their relationship a bit, couldn’t you? Again, the only conflicts these two face together are external ones. Korra and Asami fight a gang. Asami carries Korra away from danger while Mako and Bolin fight off baddies. Korra and Asami escape/crash/rebuild an airship. In none of these scenes together do they have any meaningful interactions. Maybe you could count Korra grinning at Asami for two seconds while they rebuild the airship. Maybe. But they don’t bond over anything or talk about anything except what’s happening to them at the hands of outside forces (or essentially, what’s relevant to the plot). Hence why Asami’s offer of unconditional support of Korra in the Book 3 finale rings a little hollow. It’s just Asami doing what she’s been doing the whole time, albeit with a more emotional framing. 

And all this could all lead me to explaining why I didn’t like the conclusion of Korra’s character arc, or why I didn’t like how Asami was essentially a plot device until Book 3, and even then, she wasn’t given any real development. (In fact, I’m actually kind of bitter that the show didn’t write Asami better. Her entire character basically revolved around A) the love triangle nonsense or B) her father/company). But if I were to go in depth with that, it’d take another thousand or so words, and I’m amazed I even had the drive to write this whole thing in the first place. In short, the show really is a mess. 

Now, I’m only writing all this because I’ve seen panels from the comic. The first few panels I saw, I figured I shouldn’t judge too harshly. I didn’t see enough of the actual comic to draw a conclusion. But with the new ones out, it’s safe to say that the comic seems relatively out of character for both Korra and Asami. Seriously, maybe one sentence in there sounded like it could come from Korra. I implore you all to switch the dialogue and pretend Korra is saying Asami’s lines, and Asami is saying Korra’s. Do you feel the character-charged dialogue? Me neither. And anywho, I’m a bit frustrated people are hailing Korra/sami as the epitome of representation when it’s really…not. It’s hard seeing Korra develop into a nearly unrecognizable character for me, because she was the saving grace of the show from day one. 

Korra/sami isn’t the only ship that’s frustrated me like this. I downright despise several forced ships in fictional media, especially when it’s detrimental to a character’s development. I didn’t like J/ashi from Samurai Jack. Krist/anna or Kristoff/anna or whatever the heck it’s called from Frozen was pretty awful. Several Marvel movies (of which I am a fan) have awful romance subplots (Sta/ron and Bruce/nat are the biggest offenders). At the end of the day, Korra/sami isn’t the biggest offender. It does offer quality bi representation between two WOC. But that doesn’t mean we have to like it. Go ahead and enjoy your ooc comics folks. Who knows. Maybe it’ll actually be good.