#Admiral Xur.

[heatherly84]

When you read old logs and notice something.

Audra: ::feeble smile and the kind of high, strained voice he should know from when she's very, very upset:: Hi, baby. Xur: Are you okay? Audra: I am so not okay on so many levels. Are you alone? Xur: No, but I can be. Audra: Please. Xur: ::nods, the comm blurs a bit, then a moment later:: I am now.

Wait a sec. Who the fuck was he with?

[sarcasmo-mexicano]

Flowers for Xur

Xaaldreen took another look at the Antique coin they were holding. It wasn’t bigger than the palm of their hand, it had a beautifully design, the shimmer of the gold starting to fade away; They could see their own, small, reflection on the greenish stone the coin had in its center. The hunter had a small pouch, almost filled with these, and they refused to spend them. From time to time they would pick any coin, and trace the overcomplicated but yet simple design with their finger.

Their fireteam however, did not share the same enjoyment from examine the coins as them. Every other day, they will count the coins each of them had and proceeded to go pay a visit to the Agent of the Nine. The first times, they would invite them over, claiming that the seller had some exotic weaponary or even armor they would like. But Xaaldren always refused. After that, they stopped. The hunter was glad their teammates could find something they like with the seller, but they didn’t need such things. They were ok with their set of armor, with their old cloak. Their weapons had never fail them. They found more joy when the sun reflected its light into the strange coin. It make them smile.

As it was expect that day, their team went off without them to see the one who they called Xur. Xaaldren wait for them back at the plaza in the Tower, leaning into the rail watching other guardians ships coming back home.  

“Why don’t you spend your coins Xaal?” Nephrite, their Ghost, suddenly asked, making herself comfortable in the inside of their hood. “Don’t you want a new cloak? Maybe a new gun! I know you deserve it more than any of these guardians”

Xaaldren remained in silence for a few seconds. “I like the coins better” They simply reply. “They are pretty”

Nephrite sigh. Her guardian was indeed a weird one. Not as weird as that ONE guardian that just straight went to fight the Hive the first days they were rezzed, and then slayed Crota, and then Oryx, and then...Nevermind. Xaaldren was- different from the other guardians, but she love them regardless. They were HER guardian after all. “Seems like your buddies are going to be busy”

Xaaldren nodded. “Lunch?”

“Steamed buns?” Her guardian’s eyes light up, nodding more enthusiastically, making Nephrite laugh. “Ok let’s go!”  

On their way out, the Hunter noticed the pillars at the base of the stairs. There was small patches of soil, as if someone wanted to put some kind of plant but, ultimately, forgot about it. They seem so gray and bare.

“Xaaldren? Something wrong?”

The Hunter shook their head.  

. . .

At the market, while eating one bun while holding the bag with the other, Xaaldren took a small stroll. Many guardians were standing on the food stalls, eating and talking to each other. Some of them seem tired, with blackish eye bags under his equally tired eyes, other had smiles on their faces, laughing as hard as they could. It was all a mix of sounds and smells. The Hunter, certainly, liked this better than the quiet Tower. They were having a second bite when a small stall took their attention. They step closer, the seller, an old man give him a welcoming smile. On his table, were many trinkets, probably from the golden age. But that wasn’t what make them approach.

It was the small potted flower.  It was a long green cord, covered with small purple flowers, from its base to the very tip. They could see how other sprout were making its way from the dirt.

“Lavander” the seller said, making Xaaldren look away from the plant. “From outside the city, far away from here. It took me a few tries to bloom this beauty, but it was worth it. Don’t you think?” Xaaldren nodded. “Not many guardians stop by. Do you like it hunter?”

“Yes, I do” Xaaldren replied.

The old man gave them a smile. “Tell you what hunter, I have a few other seeds along this pretty girl ones, and a book about gardening. I can sell them to you”

The hunter did never took their glimmer faster than in that moment.

. . .

He read and re-read the book, day after day. It was not until they could probably recite the entire thing that they decided to plant their first seed. The small envelope read “fern”. They knew what a fern was, they had seen it on patrols, growing as if their world wasn’t plagued with enemies. Every day after that, the Hunter would check into the pot they planted the seed. They would check the temperature, the dirt, water it, and change the pot into a place with more sun or more shadow. After a few days, tiny green leaves appear. Xaaldren was happy.

After the fern grew a bit more, Xaaldren decided it was better for it to be on a bigger pot.  And they knew a perfect place.

Guardians and Vanguard alike, watched in silence as the awoken hunter dug a hole into the pillars planters, placing a green fern on it, covering up again and then leave. Nobody question them, non-tried to stop them. And didn’t question as every other month, they would come back, this time with a different plant or flower, and put those in a different pillar, until just one was left empty.  

. . .

Xaaldren had bought a special pot for the lavender. It a simple, clay pot that someone in the past had painted purple and gold waves into it, make it prettier yet still simple. They anxiously placed the seeds on the dirt, then they waited.

And just as the other times, Xaaldren placed the full grown lavender into the last empty pillar. The purple flowers drop into the stone, making itself home. It wasn’t until they fireteam came back from their shopping day that the hunter noticed the strange symbol on the same pillar. They could only read “IX”

. . .

Lavender is easy to take care. But Xaaldren liked to make sure all their plants were ok, early in the morning they would step in the plaza, gardening tools in a bag to check every single one of them. Usually the plaza at those hours were almost empty, with only a few guardians and of course the vanguard, around. However, when Xaaldren came for the daily check, a person was standing in front of the lavender pillar. Just…Observing. It was like this strange person –dressed head to toes in black, carrying a big backpack on their back- could feel their presence as they turn around to see them. Xaaldren step back. This person face, well this person lacked a face. It was all dark in the place where eyes, nose, mouth should be. If the hunter look at them still, they could see movement, as if there was something there, like tentacles. They could only see their eyes, yellow and shiny like a cats.

“Don’t fear Guardian” They said. “Im only, admiring this before my duty”

“Your duty?” Xaaldren ask, walking closer to this individual, putting their gardening back in the floor near the pillar.

“Im Xur, agent of the Nine” He introduced himself. “I sell guardians like you, very value engrams.” Xur explained as he watched the hunter take out what it looked like a strange thermometer. “I had seen many guardians, but I don’t recall seeing you”

Xaaldren placed the thermometer into the soil, then faced Xur, they were almost the same height. “Im Xaaldren Xuruhn” they said sticking their hand toward the Agent. “It’s a pleasure to meet you”

Xur stared at the hunters hand then the guardian themselves. Nobody had ever introduced to him in such polite manner. Unsure he squeezed the hunter’s hand. After the introductions he, then again, looked back at the flowers. “Such a pretty flower” he said carefully touching one of the sprouts. “The color of the Nine too”

“You put that strange symbol in the pillar?” Xaaldren asked as they water the other plants, the lavender was just fine.

“That I do” Xur reply “For guardians to known when Im here” The Agent stared at the other plants. They were healthy, colorful. “I assume you take care of them” The hunter nodded. “A noble job you are doing”

Xaaldren put away their tools, hanging the bag around their shoulder. “You like them?”  

Xur wasn’t sure. After all his will didn’t belong to him no more but at the Nine. Could he say he liked the flowers? Or it was the Nine who did? Strange thing to have in mind. Like something so vain yet so beautiful. The Nine wouldn’t appreciate this. “I do”

. . .

When the lavender fade away, Xaaldren would stop by the old man’s stall, to buy more. Sometimes more lavender, others bright orange poppies or pure white chrysanthemum. When the seller didn’t have any more seeds, Xaaldren would pick some wild ones when they were out in a patrol. The Towers planters were never empty. Some other guardians even started to take care of them when the hunter couldn’t.

Everything stayed the same, except for one thing.

Guardians didn’t noticed at first, and if they do, they never really pointed at it. It was mention in passing conversations or lunch breaks. But that was it.

The days when Xur was in the Tower, the pillar he would mark down, will always have lavender. There could be another flower in the same planter, but the purple flowers didn’t missed a day.  Some guardians swear that the Agent of the Nine would be there, beside the flowers before going to his usual spot in the Tower. He didn’t have a face, but they swear on their graves he seem to be enjoying himself.

[gamerszone2019-blog]

Where Is Xur Today? Destiny 2 Location, Exotic Weapon, Armor (August 9-13)

New Post has been published on https://gamerszone.tn/where-is-xur-today-destiny-2-location-exotic-weapon-armor-august-9-13/

Where Is Xur Today? Destiny 2 Location, Exotic Weapon, Armor (August 9-13)

Destiny 2 is about to go through some pretty massive changes. In its latest blog post, Bungie outlined exactly when it’s adding cross save to the game–and with it, the ability to transfer characters between PS4, Xbox One, and PC. There are only a couple of weeks before Guardians can start defending the solar system on any platform they want. That makes this a great chance to fill out your Exotic collection before making the jump. As always, Xur has arrived for the weekend with another batch of Exotic items for just that purpose.

Where Is Xur?

You can find Xur on Nessus. Head to the Watcher’s Grave transmat zone, then ride northwest up to Calus’s floating barge, where you’ll find Werner 99-40. Xur is standing at the back of the barge, admiring the view.

What Is Xur Selling?

As is always the case, Xur brings one Exotic weapon and three pieces of Exotic armor, one specific to each character class. If you need something Xur isn’t carrying, you can always snag an expensive Fated Engram, which will guarantee you an Exotic you don’t already have–but only from the first year of Destiny 2 content or Forsaken. Anything that has come from the Annual Pass expansions over the last year won’t be in the Fated Engram pool, so make sure you know what you need before you buy. You can also grab a Five of Swords card, which lets you adjust Nightfall runs for higher scores, and an Invitation of the Nine from the Season of the Drifter if you haven’t completed them all yet.

The Colony (Exotic grenade launcher) — 29 Legendary Shards

Shards of Galanor (Exotic Hunter gauntlets) — 23 Legendary Shards

Chromatic Fire (Exotic Warlock chest armor) — 23 Legendary Shards

ACD/0 Feedback Fence (Exotic Titan gauntlets) — 23 Legendary Shards

The Colony

Xur’s weapon this week is The Colony, a handy grenade launcher if you’re struggling to hit your opponents with arcing grenade shots. It fires spider bots that track their prey over a short distance, running them down and exploding. That makes it very useful for the Crucible, especially if you’re trying to get grenade kills for the Mountaintop pinnacle weapon quest.

ACD/0 Feedback Fence

Titans can pick up an old piece of Exotic armor. The ACD/0 Feedback Fence gauntlets are great if you’re the kind of Guardian who likes to mix it up at close ranges and dish out a lot of melee punishment. Notching melee kills builds up energy in the gauntlets, and when you get hit with a melee strike, the energy explodes outward.

Rolls:

Slot 1: Pulse Rifle Loader; Sidearm Loader; Momentum Transfer

Slot 2: Sniper Rifle Scavenger; Machine Gun Scavenger

Shards Of Galanor

Hunters get the Year Two Exotic in Xur’s haul this week. Shards of Galanor amp up your Blade Barrage Super, returning Super energy when you get hits and kills with it. Bungie nerfed the Exotic gauntlets not too long ago, so they’re not as effective as they used to be, but these gauntlets are still worth snagging if you don’t have them. This roll is also pretty solid, offering two Enhanced perks.

Rolls:

Slot 1: Bow Reloader; Enhanced Impact Induction; Enhanced Hand Cannon Loader

Slot 2: Rocket Launcher Scavenger; Sniper Rifle Scavenger

Chromatic Fire

A handy Exotic for Warlocks chasing orbs during the Solstice of Heroes, Chromatic Fire creates elemental explosions. When you’re wearing it, enemies you take out with precision kills will explode, firing off elemental energy of the subclass you’re using. That can make it useful for creating orbs even when you’re using your Kinetic weapons during the Solstice.

Rolls:

Slot 1: Unflinching Fusion Rifle Aim; Unflinching Hand Cannon Aim; Unflinching Sniper Aim

Slot 2: Bow Reserves; Special Ammo Finder

Source : Gamesport

[wonderwafles]

They Took One, I Took Three

Summary: It is not from Toland that Eris expects any help, but the universe can be surprising.

Notes: Based on the “Eris has a Worm in her gut” theory. Incidentally, my first time writing Eris/Toland! I hope it works out a little bit.

It wasn’t a surprise, really.

When the snow fell harder than Eris had ever remembered it doing and the pain started in her stomach again, she knew what it was. What it had to be.

Still, when she made her painful way into the deserted Hall of the Vanguard and pushed Ikora’s notes aside to fix her hands like tree trunks on the plain wood of the table and heave great breaths. She squeezed two of her eyes shut, and left the third open to stare at the table.

It was the middle of the night. Ikora and Zavala had gone to bed, and Cayde went to do whatever it was someone who was both an Exo and a Hunter did when he was supposed to be sleeping. The cleaning frames had moved on, and only belatedly did she look around to see if Xur was lurking in the corner (he was not).

The thing inside her twisted and fought like it was trying to escape, and she had to push her hood back and unwrap her eyes when her head started to pound. She finally closed the third one; black fluid rushed more quickly without the bandage, staining her clothes. She shuddered as she thought she could hear the beginnings of a voice, speaking to her with twisting words that she tried her best not to understand.

So no, it wasn’t much of a surprise that somebody else heard it too.

Her first indication that he was there came subtly. The shadows lengthened without an object to cast them. The torches guttered, a thin chill entered the windless hall.

“You’ve been reading too many horror novels, Toland.”

The air stilled.

“One can never read enough,” a voice said from behind her. It would have sounded like a teacher’s, thin and reedy and lecturing and almost perpetually slightly disappointed, but for a layer of threat. She would have found Toland defending his overdependence on horror tropes funny if she wasn’t so exhausted.

She turned, and he was behind her.

Translucent, apparently not ready to wholly surrender his grip on death, Toland looked much the same as he had left them; surprising, considering his eagerness to shed his mortal form. His hands were clasped behind his back, and he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

She turned back to the desk. She would not be the first to speak, would not give him that pleasure. Instead, she did what she had come here to do, and grabbed a book.

He glided up to her and looked over her shoulder. “Ah, the Metaphysics of the Hive by Allman Heart. A fine book, if you are alright with rampant propaganda and misinformation.”

“I am not here to learn,” she responded. “I am here to fight.”

“Typical Hunter,” he said. He crossed over to the side of the table, close to where Cayde stood. He still wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Flickering lights?” she asked. “An unnatural chill? You are trying to be dramatic.”

Toland narrowed his eyes. “You are not concerned with bigger things?” he asked her. “You know why I have come.”

She did. She wasn’t sure that Toland would show himself to her out of the kindness of his heart, but to solve a mystery?

“You are dead,” she told him.

“As Guardians, we know better than most that death is relative,” he said, waving a hand unconcernedly. “You are not. But you’re dying.”

She’d thought hearing the word would be impactful. But instead, it felt almost relieving. What was happening to her had a name. It was mortal – eminently so. After she’d given up her Ghost, she’d had time to get used to mortality. It was the way the Hive played with death that scared her, now.

But she was survivor. She would fight. She would endure. She had sworn that to herself long ago, and she wasn’t about to give it up now.

“Do you know how to fix it?” she asked him.

Toland hesitated. She supposed he must have known the question was coming, but he hadn’t prepared himself to say ‘I don’t know’.

“Perhaps,” he said instead. “Perhaps not. I am not sure if any of the Hive have attempted to have their Worms removed. I have the impression it would be a costly procedure for beings so twinned to the Dark. It may be different for you.”

“You left us.”

Toland reacted like he’d been slapped, but recovered quickly. “You were fools to think I owed any loyalty to you. My interests have always been my own. I apologize if I did not make that clear enough, but you had all heard the stories. Eriana knew what she was getting in to when she solicited my help.”

Eris felt almost startled she brought it up. She wasn’t thinking about it when she’d considered the possibility of his appearance, and certainly not when she’d heard the shadow of his whisper for the first time, one voice of many crying for her attention. Dearest Eris, it’s not all bad... But as a dying woman she thought she’d rather earned it.

“And besides,” Toland continued. “Would it have made any difference if I had committed myself to Crota’s demise? We were unprepared. Even I admit that. Crota was simply stronger than us, and in those spaces that is all that matters.”

She wanted to say that Oryx’s death proved otherwise, that the Guardians who’d set free the Light and refused Oryx’s powers, their right as his killer, had brought the Light into ‘those spaces’. But that would be a gamble. She did not know that Toland had been watching, although she’d suspected, and she didn’t know if he’d care. It was his ego she wanted to hit, but that wouldn’t do her any good.

“Why did you swallow the Worm, Eris?” he asked. She thought he had tried to sound objective, but the way his voice caught on ‘Why’ and the way he refused to look at her at all made the effect moot.

“It was the only way to escape the Pit that you left me in.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Here I am.”

Toland paced, as he always did when his mind was working. “Proof of one hypothesis does not disprove another,” he said. “The beast must have told you what you were getting into.”

“It said that I must follow my nature.”

As soon as she said it, the Worm responded. It began its writhing again, sent its honeyed voice echoing through every corner of her being.

Why do you deny the Oath, o bearer mine?

You see him! Toland! He knows the true shape! He has denied his weakness, his dependence, and look at him now! He has ascended! While you cling to life, weak and dying, he will never die again!

I can bring you strength. The krill are weak; you have proven that. It is with your kind that the final shape rests. I can help you prove it.

But you must help me first.

“It’s lying,” he said. “Or at least, it is not telling the truth. It is killing that feeds it. Killing, and strength, although to the Worms the two are synonymous.” There was something like admiration in his voice.

“I know.”

This brought him to a pause. “You do?” he asked.

Eris grinned a crooked grin. “You are not the one with a specimen in your gut,” she said drily.

“Unfortunately,” he murmured.

She supposed that she should have found that offensive, considering her current state, but most of her just found it funny. If anyone asked her who Toland was, she would point to when he was upset and jealous a ghastly supernatural worm wasn’t chewing at his insides.

She didn’t realize she was laughing until he scowled at her. “Stop that,” he said. “You’re exacerbating the symptoms.”

It was true. The pain sounded acutely every time she drew in a deep gasping breath and rattled her body with laughter. She tried to stop, but instead it just became silent.

Finally, the pain became too much to bear, and she doubled over, grasping feebly at the table. It didn’t help that the Worm took this opportunity to redouble its efforts, clawing at her stomach with fervor. It was hungry, and she knew that from here it would only get worse.

When Toland grabbed her shoulders, it wasn’t gentle or comforting, but it was steadying. He hauled her to her feet. “You’re crazy,” he snarled.

Finally, Eris set her alien eyes on his. He wavered for a moment, but stared fully into them. She thought she could see fear in his; she wasn’t sure what he saw in hers.

He released her. After a few heartbeats, he lowered his gaze. The Hall of the Vanguard was silent once again for a moment.

His hand hovered over her stomach. He looked at her, asking for permission. She gave it with a nod.

He touched her armor, but somehow she thought he didn’t need anything more. The Worm would have been as plain as day to him. He lowered his ear, as though she were pregnant and he were trying to feel a kick.

“You fed it your Ghost,” he exhaled. “Oh, Eris.”

That was the most emotion she could remember him showing to her. It was unsettling. “It needed a signifier of our oath.” She let out a shaky breath. Of all of her trials in the Pit, this was the worst. “She agreed that it was necessary. There was enough Light in her to feed it for a year, she said. Maybe more.  But then it would hunger again.”

A hesitation, as she thought of the moment she offered her first companion to the thing. The Worm snapped her up in an instant, like a snake in front of a mouse. “It gave me the strength to fight the strongest Hive on equal footing. When I lashed out, the universe flinched. It was the only reason I made it out.”

Toland didn’t seem to be listening, so engrossed he was in her stomach, but he responded easily. “I liked your Ghost,” he said thinly. “She was intelligent. Clever. Kind.”

“She was,” Eris agreed softly.

Toland stood up. “I will ask around,” he said. “Keep my ear to the ground, as Cayde might say. Perhaps the Techuens will know something, or even the Nine-”

“You don’t have to do this,” Eris said. “I have accepted my fate. Hopefully I will have time to complete my duty here, but after that? I am not afraid to die. I know none who walk the Tower are.”

Eris was grateful Toland didn’t ask after her duty. Instead, he leant forward and clasped her shoulders. Eris bent and placed her forehead against his chest. It was an odd embrace, and Eris was not sure where either of them had learned it, but it felt right.

To refuse Toland’s help was likely foolish. But there was still anger in her, anger at him and anger at herself. Spurning Toland would satisfy both.

“I will ask,” he said firmly. “I do not promise anything. But I – I think I would not like to be the last of Eriana’s fireteam.”

“You wouldn’t,” she whispered. “Trust me.”

When she looked up, he was gone.

[heatherly84]

It was a Monday when My lover told me 'Never pay the reaper with Love only.' What could I say to you except I love you And I'd give my life for yours? How could I ever Get over you When I'd give my life for yours?

Bif Naked, Lucky

[heatherly84]

Major Armstrong is going to take his shirt off and yell at us again, isn't he?

Sergeant Brosh, Full Metal Alchemist

[heatherly84]

Take a look around the room Love comes wearing disguises How to go about and choose? Break it down by shapes and sizes? I'm a man who's got very specific tastes. You know, you're just my type? You've got a pulse And you are breathing.

Saint Motel, “My Type”

[heatherly84]

Gems were not all your wife left you, my friend. She left you a son. Which do you think she would rather you valued more?

Gandalf, The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies Extended Edition

[heatherly84]

My mother died and my stepfather stopped being a father to me and I was an orphan by the age of 22 and reeling in grief. I had biological father wounds and biological grandfather wounds and in order to heal them I needed fifty men and three good women to have sex with me.

Dear Sugar #77, “The Truth That Lives There”

[heatherly84]

I like that you're broken- broken like me. Maybe that makes me a fool. I like that you're lonely- lonely like me. I could be lonely with you.

"Broken," lovelytheband

[heatherly84]

Xur: ::small smile:: It's a good thing to be remembered for. Audra: ::considers what her internal reaction to that smile was, then just nods:: Mhm. Xur: So you're... assistant treasurer? I don't know the titles. Audra: ::helpfully:: Paymaster. Xur: Paymaster. I had a class change recently. I think my files updated automatically. But if I should talk to a person...? Audra: ::the tiniest bit disappointed:: Oh- yeah, I can check that for you, and fix it if you need. ::twists her wrist device around and starts pulling up files:: Yeah, that's there. Xur: Is there anything that should be fixed? I'm free for the evening if you want to go over... details. Audra: ::puzzled look for a moment, then:: Where are you from? If that's okay to ask? Xur: It is. I'm from Vevath. Audra: ::disappointed:: Oh. Sure, if you want to, I guess we can do that.

She could not tell for the life of her if he was flirting with her or just making a normal crewman to paymaster request in a way where he’s using his prettiness as leverage to be prioritized over other people. She asked where he was from to try and figure out if this was subtle flirting.

Hearing he’s from Vevath made her think, “Oh. No, we’re way more direct than that. He’s just trying to charm me into processing his request faster.”

[heatherly84]

[heatherly84]

Comm to Zane from Ben, but with Ziz’s comm code, dated roughly a halfspan ago:

Hey, guys. Just saying hi and seeing how you are in a generally polite sibling of child kind of way. This is Ben, by the way, not Ziz. I didn’t have another way to get in touch. Anyway, attached you’re gonna find a link to a cloud server. I know you don’t call it a cloud server, but I don’t remember what Ziz called it and it’s not important! The important thing is, I made you a present for your continuing Earth education. It’s not Star Wars, but nothing else really is. Enjoy, report back. -BH

[heatherly84]

You know, sometimes it feels like you're the only one who really understands me, because how could anyone else? Nobody knows what we went through, nobody who wasn't on that show. But we knew each other before we were anybody, and that's how we can be friends, because we're not like those other people. The people who glom onto you because of who they think you are, and they think they can sleep on your couch and eat your food. They think you're gonna save their agency. I never asked for that kind of pressure, but you and me, we don't want anything from each other. You know, I-I could never figure out what love meant, but, right now, I don't need to figure out anything. I just feel it.

Bojack Horseman, “That’s Too Much, Man!”

[heatherly84]

Ben’s Ultimate Movie Playlist

When he gave this to Zane and Xur, I have no idea. Maybe after they watched Star Wars, I dunno. But watching Star Wars was why. For him, it was actually really fun and exciting to be part of shaping how aliens see his planet. And also he just loves sharing the movies he likes generally.

It was those two goals that drove what ended up in this collection and what didn’t.

So. The list. Alphabetically:

Aladdin (1992)

This is actually Ben’s favorite Disney movie. That started for a typical seven-year-old reason (it was one of the only feature length animated Disney films that wasn’t about a girl), but frequent rewatching and the passage of time has just turned it into pure, unadulterated nostalgia. 

And The Band Played On (1993)

(Author’s note: Did not realize that alphabetizing the list would put the biggest downer on it so close to the top. Whoops. /o\)

This movie made the list, even though Ben has almost no other serious ones on it, because trying to explain the whole gay thing to Ziz and Zia was a nightmare for them as a family (obviously more Nat and Zach, but- Ben cared) and he thought of this movie as the ultimate one that shows what human society has historically thought about it. And maybe that’s something Zane might want to talk to the kids about, with some context to put it in. Essentially: this is Ben trying to help Zane parent. ...that the movie he chose is so depressing says something about how Ben feels about the idea of parenting.

Clue (1985)

Ben doesn’t watch a whole lot of mysteries, but when he was told that Xur liked them, he really tried to squeeze one he really loved out of his memory. This was the first result he got. Sure, it’s not exactly a mystery in the classical sense, but it has one and it’s also really funny. He especially loves that it has three endings (his favorite is the one where Miss Scarlet did it).

Fiddler on the Roof (1971)

Secretly, Ben likes musicals. He blames Disney on general principle. This one is one of his favorites, even though it does edge too close to more serious than he’d like, because he kinda identifies with Tevye. He’s a dreamer and a joker who resolves an incredibly serious issue at one point by just making up bullshit. Yeah, Ben relates.

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

This one ended up on it because of the tendency people have to refer to Zane as Space Hitler. Yeah, Ben thought he’d give him a movie about plotting to kill Hitler when people call him Space Hitler and that seemed totally appropriate. Because Zane’s trying not to be Space Hitler anymore, and that goal is one Ben really wants him to succeed at. So he’s trying to show Zane the lens through which other people see him. He knows it’s something Zane already knows, but he wants it to be something Zane feels. Part of the magic of movies is that they can give people feelings in a way that history lessons and witness statements cannot. (Though he is genuinely anxious that when Zane watches the legendary scene of Hans Landa intimidating a dude into giving up the Jews he’s hiding in the floor, Zane’s going to relate more to Landa than to Shoshanna, the girl in the floor.)

Juno (2007)

The “find him a movie about it” school of teaching people things is an ideal that Ben comes by honestly because it’s how he was raised. If Squirrel didn’t know how to explain something to him, she’d find a movie, a TV show, or a book that did. This was part of a series on sexual responsibility that his mother put him through. She chose it because it got across very nicely “sometimes people get pregnant, and giving the baby up for adoption is a choice available to them- but that can be very hard, even if you’re very sure.” 

For Ben, this is a formative movie that he has a lot of feelings about because of that, but also? It’s funny. And sweet. And has a romance that gave him a lot of feelings as a kid who was bad at socializing, because Paulie Bleaker should not remotely have been able to get a girlfriend like Juno with how awkward he is, but that happens and in context, it even makes sense. Plus, the soundtrack is fucking rad.

Kill Bill - Vol. 1 (2003)

This is just straight-up a fun action movie, with awesome sword fights and insane karate. This edges out most other action movies for Ben because- well, he likes Quentin Tarantino. (He’s the only director represented on the list four times.) And on a somewhat tactless level, he hopes that Zane will identify with someone on a revenge quest for their child, and the twist that the child is actually alive, complete with happy ending. (I suspect that’s not going to be as cool for Zane as Ben is hoping.)

Kill Bill - Vol. 2 (2004)

Well, you can’t rec the first one without the second one! The second one is the one that has the happy ending!

Moana (2016)

The first movie to make it as part of Ben’s Intro To Human Religion series. Ben’s not a particularly religious person, but he recognizes how much of that informs human culture- and also that Zane’s kind of going through a crisis of faith right about now. So here’s a story about what humans think gods are like, what other gods are out there, and what kind of relationship some humans have with them. (Yeah, Moana and Maui have a relationship that’s between god and man. Weird to think of that way, huh? *g*)

Also, it’s just plain got a good story with cool characters and a good soundtrack. ...this is the second time that observation has been part of a movie’s selection for the list. It will not be the last.

Mulan (1998)

Ben’s second favorite Disney movie. (His feelings on Classic Disney, like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty is that yeah, they’re prettier, but he doesn’t like the stories or music as much.) This is very much his Weep A Lot Over My Daddy Issues movie, which is not really a secret. Mulan goes on the quest as part of her search for independent self-identity, sure (and he figures Zane can relate to that), but at the heart of it all, she did everything for her father. 

Ben doesn’t know what it’s like to have a father, but he likes to imagine it involves loving and being loved that much.

Plus: LET’S! GET DOWN! TO BUSINESS!

Newsies (1992)

Part of Ben’s secret love for musicals. This is a favorite- although he’s seen this five hundred times and actually still can’t describe the plot to anybody beyond, “Um. Strike, strike, strike, strike! ...?” But he remembers the songs and the dances. Holy fuck, does he remember the songs and the dances. If he wasn’t tall enough now to hit his head on the ceiling, he would probably still sometimes jump on his bed singing “King of New York.” 

Other than that, he’s also hoping to teach Zane to root for the underdog. Which is a pretty important component to human movies in general, actually.

Prince of Egypt (1998)

Another part of Intro to Human Religion. Ben finds the actual Bible very tedious, but discovered in films that a lot of the stories in it are fucking amazing. This is a good one for that because from the very beginning, the stakes feel tremendously high: it starts with Moses’ mother, a slave, trying to hide her baby from Pharaoh’s soldiers so that he isn’t killed. That is a strong as hell opening, and the movie is very good at keeping you on the edge and very invested in what’s going to happen.

As ways to introduce Zane to the most popular theology on Earth goes, he figures this movie is better than most.

Psycho (1960)

Another that made the list because Ben wanted to have more mysteries for Xur and this was the closest he could think of. This DVD case actually has the plot summary on the back removed with a note stuck in its place that says, “Report back. I wanna know when you cracked the twist.”

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Another Tarantino. This one was chosen because it has more pop culture jammed into its first fifteen minutes than most of the other movies on this list combined. If you wanted to condense everything you needed to know but were afraid to ask about late 20th/early 21st century humans into one movie, it would probably be this one. 

Plus, how fucking legendary is Samuel L. Jackson doing that fake Bible verse?

Plus plus, also a great soundtrack!

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Ben realized at some point he had got this far without having even a single horror movie on the list. He’s not a huge fan of horror, but at the same time, he felt like he should make an effort to include one. Just for the sake of exposing them to the idea. ...also, this one’s scary as hell, even though there’s almost no violence and only one special effect in the whole damn thing. That’s actually a majorly impressive achievement.

It cemented its place when he realized that its plot is kind of also a mystery. (The next time he sees Xur, he is going to apologize for how many of his choices are only “sort of” a mystery or “also has a mystery,” nothing is straight-up procedural. He just doesn’t really watch them.)

Saved! (2004)

Continuing Intro To Human Religion, but also borrowing again from his mom’s series on sexual responsibility. (”Keeping the baby is a choice you can make, too.”) This one’s a comedy that’s also a great look at Evangelical Christianity (...it’s very critical of it). He thought it was probably a more helpful choice than Prince of Egypt was, since that one’s about the mythology that inspires people to believe, but this one is about how people who believe actually live. 

He did tape a note to the cover to watch Prince of Egypt first, though. The scene where Mary tries to get G-d to smite her really only makes sense if you already have the context that G-d smites people occasionally.

Se7en (1995)

“Finally, a mystery that’s pretty unambiguously a mystery! Shows police work and research! Excitement! \o/

...okay, yeah, it’s also a gruesome horror movie with a horrifying twist ending, but I’m doing my best here, okay?”

Does not count as Intro to Human Religion, but Ben did consider that some of the movies that are will probably give helpful context to this one.

The Shining (1980)

Also part of his “crap, I should add some horror movies” selection, although like Rosemary’s Baby, it made the list because it’s good and it’s scary, even without a lot of violence or special effects, just something that builds tension and builds it and builds it and builds it until the protagonist snaps and it’s almost a relief that you’re not just waiting for when he’s finally gonna do that anymore.

As human movies go, it’s a fucking great one.

Sound of Music (1965)

This movie appeals to Ben on several levels. One, it’s a musical, and it’s probably one of the best ones, at that. Two, Ben had a desperate hunger as a child for brothers and sisters, and this movie is about seven of them. Just watching them all together was the kind of thing that could suck him into a movie for no other good reason as a kid. Three, they’re siblings in a band. Fuck. Yes.

Oh, and there’s some cool historical drama stuff unfolding.

But mostly that siblings in a band thing.

West Side Story (1961)

Just one more musical! Just one! This actually isn’t one of his favorites (did they not have Latinos in the sixties? Were we invented by a mad scientist in 1985?), but he recognizes that its influence on how musicals would be made afterwards is important and worth acknowledging. Also, they managed to make Romeo and Juliet without suicide, that’s pretty cool.

And who among us could ever resist singing “I Feel Pretty” in the shower after hearing it for the first time?

Yours, Mine, and Ours (1968)

This movie is basically sibling porn* for people who used to fervently wish they had siblings. Ben grew up enraptured by the relationship between Mike and Philip as they go from stepbrothers to brothers. He also still falls over laughing over the line, “My sister’s locked herself in the bathroom and she can’t get out and I can’t get in and it’s my turn!” “Which sister?” “I don’t know her name yet, but she’s stuck for sure!”

It’s also basically “being a military family” porn for people who might be into that. Like, for instance, Xur or Zane.

[heatherly84]

Athosian subtitles, for once

Sigrid: Kohouma. ::raising her eyebrows:: Mutta mika kohouma? Zane: Did I say anything about escalating? ::makes a face:: And if she doesn't speak Standard, what are the odds she knows who we are? Branjen: ::emerging beside her- is familiar, but has a whole hand with all of its fingers:: Sota. Sigrid: Sota? ::gives him a skeptical look:: Ei. Se ei ole Sota. Zane: ::rolls his eyes:: Oh, just make yourself look nonthreatening. ::goes back to working on the ship:: Xur: ::spreads his hands in a clear "look, I'm not holding any weapons" way:: Branjen: On. Velvoit sinua.  Sigrid: ::still looks skeptical, eyes Zane consideringly, then sighs:: Mor vil onske ham. Branjen: Mhm. Sigrid: ::put-upon sigh:: Pilaat kaiken hauskan, toivottavasti tiedat sen. Branjen: ::agreeably:: Mhm.

Sigrid: Eminence. But which eminence? Branjen: War. Sigrid: War? No. That’s not War. Branjen: Is. I’ll bet you. Sigrid: Mother will want him. Branjen: Mhm. Sigrid: You ruin everything fun, you know that. Branjen: Mhm.