#Almost 40 years of Val kilmer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years

Note

I would love to know your rankings of the live action (+ podcast) Bruce Waynes. :)

Janie you are one of the best tumblr mutuals anyone could ask for. so reasonable, never absorbed by stupid discourse, so fun to talk shit with. you were also sent from hell to kill me.

disclaimer 1: I'm excluding the 40s Batman serials because I haven't seen them and even I don't love committing to a bit so hard that I'm willing to watch them to make one (1) 5 note post.

disclaimer 2: all of my opinions are right and I'm not interested in arguing with anyone about any of this.

anyway, let's get rolling. as with the Riddler, we'll be proceeding chronologically!

Adam West (Batman '66) - 10/10

the sixties Batman series gets a lot of shit for being excellent, and I for one will not stand for it! its biggest crime is, I think, being itself and having a good time; it's stupid and charming and really funny, and I think Adam West is a rock solid foundation on which to build the show. his Bruce is a freak of the unflinching normie, devastatingly upright and pathologically wholesome while also a bit of a skank. I suspect he's too chummy with Republicans and yet I trust him with my life. I could write entire essays about what's going on with this man's masculinity. also worth noting that Batman 1966 is like, easily my second favorite live action Batman movie of all time. I love him, your honor.

Michael Keaton (Batman 1989 and Batman Returns) - 10/10

my BELOVED. for those of you wondering when I said '66 was my second favorite movie YES, Batman Returns is the first! Michael Keaton's Bruce is a grade-A freak of the week and I want to wrap him in a weighted blanket about it to see if that will possibly calm him down. his films are great because he's used sparingly, something that no fucking Batman movie knows how to do anymore, and it makes the screentime he does have so much more effective. his Bruce/Batman contrast is stunning - his Batman is an unblinking stalwart lunatic in a suit so crunchy he can barely move; his Bruce a charmingly inept sad sack in a sexy little sweater. and I can't even start talking about his dynamic with Michelle Pfeiffer's electric Selina Kyle or we'll be here all day. chef's kiss, Mr. Keaton.

Val Kilmer (Batman Forever) - Kiss From a Rose/10

right off the gate I would like to acknowledge that whatever else I may say about him, Val Kilmer has the most kissable mouth of any Batman. look at him! good for you, Mr. Kilmer!

anyway, I'm gonna level with you gamers: I've made absolutely no secret of my distaste for Batman Forever, which I think is genuinely dumber and worse than Batman and Robin. Kilmer's Bruce is serving us almost nothing; he's a stale whole wheat cracker to whom things are incessantly Happening. he's being aggressively propositioned by Nicole Kidman when he's Batman and by Jim Carrey when he's Bruce; Tommy Lee Jones keeps trying to murder him while giving a performance that would seem absurdly over the top if he weren't right next to the aforementioned Carrey; and he's just adopted a poor little 25 year old orphan with some serious attitude problems. everyone in this film is so much at all times, and between that and Joel Schumacher's intensely questionable direction I don't really blame Kilmer for deciding to say fuck it and make Bruce more of a mannequin than a man. I think there are some intriguing glimpses of the Batman that could have been here and there in his role, but he's ultimately done in by being trapped in an unspeakable clusterfuck of a movie.

George Clooney (Batman and Robin) - Bat Credit Card/10

where West's Bruce sidles through life with a veneer of normalcy that seems to be just barely concealing the potential to throw someone out a window at any moment, Clooney's Bruce genuinely seems like he's got his shit together. he actually seems to be reflecting the character arc he's limped through across three previous films and two recast actors, and as a result is so well-adjusted and fatherly that it's almost unsettling. who is this very normal man? why is dressing up like a bat to fight Austrian Mr. Freeze and drag queen Poison Ivy? surely he should be filing his taxes or going to a parent-teacher meeting to discuss his 30 year old son's behavior in class.

Christian Bale (Dark Knight Saga) - 3/10

real talk, friends: I don't remember Bale's performances that well, because I haven't watched one of his Batman movies since the Dark Knight Rises came out in theaters. I do not recall liking the movie, nor having any particularly favorable reaction to Bale at any point in the trilogy. I always felt his strongest performance was "Bruce Wayne being Batman playing idiot billionaire Bruce Wayne," portraying the pretense of Bruce better than he played either a sincere Bruce or Batman. dare I say it, I don't think Christopher Nolan let him be enough of a weirdo. disappointing underutilization of a man who who is extremely willing to be unhinged. three stars.

Ben Affleck (Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Justice League) - 10/10

I'm just going to say upfront that Ben Affleck's self-written/produced/directed/starred in Batfamily movie is my pop cultural white whale and I'm going to die mad about it, which should probably give you an indication of where this one is going. Batfleck is so perfect to me. that is my baby baby 40-something year old boy with manic depression and homicidal tendencies. is he going through a bit of a grimdark phase? yes. duh. it happens! but he feels soooo bad about it, and he spends the next movie getting bullied by literally everyone to make up for it. he's just so TIRED. this is a Bruce who's SEEN SOME SHIT. he's canonically lost a Robin; he's a grieving dad! he's broken and he's trying and more than any other Bruce I can see him driving around a minivan full of bastard parkour children. every day I miss him.

Robert Pattinson (Thee Batman 2022) - 10/10

when I heard certified real-life freakboy Robert Pattinson had been cast as my personal favorite fictional freakboy I felt hope about a DC movie announcement for the first time in years. and you know what? it was justified. Pattinson is a very specific take on Bruce Wayne that I definitely don't think works in all settings - a Bruce for all seasons he is not. but within his own miserable, wet little Gotham he can do no wrong. I love this pale, pathetic insomniac. I love that he hates eye contact. I love that he barely seems to willing to eat or sleep. I love how obviously confused he is in his attraction to Zoë Kravitz's Selina. I love that after the film's climax we find him covered in filth and working tirelessly to dig civilians out of rubble, offering comfort where he can. I'm so genuinely excited to see this version of Bruce continue too grow. that's my SON.

and since you threw in podcasts for no reason that I can immediately discern

Winston Duke (Batman Unburied) - 10/10

Winston Duke's take on Bruce is so profoundly dear to me. like Pattinson I think he's not exactly an archetypal Bruce but what he's serving is perfect for this universe, not least of all because Duke is voice acting his ass off. his Bruce is warmer and more emotionally vulnerable than most - he tells Alfred he loves him! - while maintaining the requisite cocktail of mental illnesses that makes Batman what he is, which makes him a wildly compelling narrator to ride along with. his Batman voice arrives late in the story but is absolutely worth the wait; Duke is bringing something positively primordial to the Bat that makes you understand instantly why the folks of Gotham might assume he's some kind of inhuman monster (something that also plays well with the fact that Duke's Bruce is, presumably, meant to be understood as a Black man, which puts his vigilante activities and difficult relationship with the police in a very different light than any white Bruce's). cannot wait to get more of him when the blessed second season drops and drills holes in my brain; you've all been warned that I will be unhinged at that time.

#bruce wayne #janie tag

104 notes · View notes

usagirotten · 7 months

Text

Review: Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story is pretentiously touching

Documentary series and films based on celebrities cause a lot of expectation among locals and strangers, whether due to curiosity or a genuine interest in knowing more about the lives of these people and even more so, the dark details that have surrounded them throughout their lives—his life and also after this. From Marylin Monroe to Val Kilmer, these biographical stories aim to be risky and tell what has not been said, and what is not supposed to be known. Researching a deceased person is even more difficult than carrying out the testimonies of Your loved ones, friends, and co-workers may be left in doubt as to whether what they say is true or whether it is just an attachment to someone who is no longer there. Christopher D'Olier Reeve/Christopher Reeve made his debut on Broadway in 1976 and then in 1978, he played one of the most iconic and difficult superheroes in this medium, Superman: The Movie directed by Richard Donner of Ilya and Alexander Salkind was surrounded by many problems, however, her success at the box office paved the way for what we know today in the cinema of the genre she occupies. In 2024, directors Ian Bonhôte and Peter Ettedgui present a new documentary at Sundance, Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story, which focuses more on the accident he suffered when he fell from a horse at a riding exhibition on May 27, 1995. and what happened next with her life and her career that went from being a cinematographer to an activist.

What is the documentary about?

It is a 2024 bio documentary film about the life of Christopher Reeve after his terrible accident and the path to becoming a disability rights activist.

We have already spoken on several occasions that the documentary genre has specific rules, a deep investigation of the facts, and, above all, the authorization of those involved and those interviewed, this documentary complies with these rules and its own and narrates more truthfully. what happened to this actor and the entire environment that surrounded him until his death on October 10, 2004. This work is something that moves us, the combination of the elements it contains makes it almost impossible not to be moved by those frames where he looked very healthy and happy with what he was doing, anyone who remembers Reeve as Superman in the films that made between 1978 and 1987, which have their audience who for more than 40 years have followed and rated these films as one of the best incarnations of the character on the big screen. The talk shows are a key piece to understanding what happened, is happening, and will happen throughout the 104 minutes that it lasts, we see passages of his private life and his coexistence with his family, for example, Reeve's home movies with his three children or while making jokes and games with his best friend and former roommate Robin Williams, these are the moments of reprieve that reflect a very dark side of his main story. The documentary begins on May 27, 1995, when Reeve was seriously injured in an equestrian accident. Reeve's horse refused to make a jump. Eyewitnesses said the animal began the third jump over the fence and suddenly stopped. stopped Reeve fell from the horse and held on to the reins while his hands got tangled in them the bridle and the bit were removed from the horse, and Reeve fell headlong on the other side of the fence breaking the first and second vertebrae stopped breathing for several minutes, this injury to the cervical spine resulted in something more serious that paralyzed him from the neck to the feet. The paramedics arrived three minutes later and immediately took emergency medical measures to get air into his lungs. They first took him to the local hospital and then transferred him by helicopter to the University of Virginia Medical Center. When he woke up, Reeve claimed he didn't remember anything about the accident. , after five days in which Reeve was heavily medicated he regained full consciousness, his doctor explained to him that the first and second cervical vertebrae had been destroyed and his spinal cord damaged, after several evaluations and attempts at an operation the final diagnosis was that He was paralyzed from the neck down and couldn't breathe without a ventilator. The imminent and necessary operation to reattach the skull to the spine was in June 1995. Reeve was aware of the risk and knew that he had only a fifty percent chance of surviving, moments that the documentary reflects as something extremely intimate and terrifying for an actor who, although he did not have everything, did have the desire to get ahead for himself and his family. At that moment, he completely forgot about his film career to focus on his recovery.

Someone who was the key to this being carried out more patiently came from the man who was his best friend, the man who was with him from the beginning and did not leave him until the end. In the documentary, a Brief recreation of a guy crouching in a blue medical cap, yellow surgical gown, and glasses speaking with a fake Russian accent, the man announced to Reeve seriously in a very formal tone that he was a proctologist and that he was going to perform a rectal exam. , Robin Williams' charisma and friendliness greatly helped his physical and psychological recovery.

A voiceover narrates something said by Reeve "For the first time since my accident happened, I laughed, my old friend had helped me know that somehow I was going to be okay" and so it was, the surgery and the long sessions of Therapy helped his partial recovery, in addition to visits from a few friends and family, he received more than 400,000 letters from all over the world where his fans dedicated emotional and heartfelt words of comfort to him at a difficult time. As the bio documentary progresses we also learn about what Warner Bros. did as a film studio, his survival after the accident reestablishes a marked parallel with his growing acting career in the role of Superman, both were a difficult challenge to overcome physically. and even more intimidating and faced many problems and setbacks, as we see his recovery Reeve becomes a tireless advocate for spinal cord injury survivors beginning a new stage in his career, this is due in large part to the studies that they turned their backs on him and suspended the royalty payments he deserved for the work he did with and for them. The production team does a good job of linking real images into a very convincing narrative sequence about the events and how he and his wife decided to open a foundation that would help him and others. Williams started a campaign in which They invited people to donate in exchange for having a souvenir and this was a silver plate with the Superman emblem in a color that quotes "Go Forward" which could be purchased for a donation of 25.00 Dollars and was sent by mail, the help of his best friend was essential for all of this to become real.

Fans from all over the world turned to donate not only for one of these plates but because they understood the problem the actor was in, the manufacturing, promotion, and distribution was by Williams himself, already Reeve's wife and children. , who also took on the task of managing everything raised and starting to buy devices and medications for those who needed them, the process consisted of filling out a form and presenting their medical evidence, hence a committee specialized in this type of injury separated the most emerging cases from those that did not so that the majority of applicants were benefited. As is to be expected, there was a lot of talk about mismanagement of the money that came in, Williams' lawyers presented evidence to prove that all the money that came in was fully justified, meanwhile, Warner Bros. was stupid by letting them use the Superman logo. For this campaign, the documentary is not clear when defining whether Dana Morosini, his wife, requested the use of the material or not. Along with this, on April 25, 1998, the American publisher Random House published Reeve's autobiography titled Still Me, the book was eleven weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and won a Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album, with all proceeds donated to the foundation. On February 25, 2003, the series Smallville in its second season aired the episode, Rosetta where Reeve, after ironing out some rough edges with the study, appeared as Dr. Virgil Swann who provides Clark Kent (Tom Welling) with vital information about his origin, where he comes from and how to use his powers for the good of humanity, the scenes were brilliantly framed by a new version of the Superman theme composed by John Williams and arranged by Mark Snow, at the end of this episode Christopher Reeve and Tom Welling make a brief announcement inviting people in general and fans of the series and the character to support the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation, this episode was one of the most important and established a rating history for The WB, the fan community received this entry with excellent reviews and praised it as one of the best events up to that point in the series. The documentary features interviews with people in the actor's life including his three children William, Matthew, and Alexandra Reeve, these participations create an air of family intimacy in which they express their feelings and admiration for their father, Susan Sarandon, Whoopi Goldberg, Jeff Daniels, and Glenn Close also give their opinion, each clip is important from images taken with a camcorder at home to professional recordings and their participation in film and television, each word said may or may not have a more neutral context and advocates sadness and pity without taking into account that it is also a story of personal improvement and more so in this case that many remember this actor for being an American superhero.

Directors Ian Bonhôte and Peter Ettedgui know how to handle the material they have very well by using images from old interviews with images that are new and never seen before, creating a pretentiously convincing story, trying to go deeper and revealing details that add humanism to a celebrity, who takes her down from that star pedestal and puts her as just another person with a serious health problem, that moving game they have written by Ettedgui in which they make us participate as spectators fall into emotional clichés to poor its protagonist. It is already very trite that given the supposed seriousness of the documentary they try to educate us with a moral discourse in which we see that values such as family and friendship are represented in a strategic way as part of their own rules so that we understand the Suffering from this man is rather a recurring pretext that supports the main argument, which is the recovery from an accident and his subsequent activism. These are the obvious flaws he has that cause him to lose his personality at times. The actor became an important patient and representative of medical research into spinal cord injuries to find a cure, thus being a tireless defender of the rights of people with disabilities, faithful to his values he fully represented the image of a husband, a family man, a friend and a superman in real life. The music composed by Ilan Eshkeri is only a vehicle to give it a more serious and moving atmosphere without being something that goes unnoticed, it is simply a discreet and supportive work to accompany this story. In conclusion, Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story as a documentary risks more than anyone else but not enough, its information was enough for more or to be a bio documentary miniseries in which every important detail ranging from greed would be further explored from the studies to how the help they provided was handled inside and outside the foundation. As a documentary, it is entertaining and fulfills what it promises, respects the rules, and reveals what was unknown to many, a job well done and well done that just lacked time. Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story will be available in home formats and on some streaming platforms during 2024. Read the full article

#dccomics

0 notes

badgerhuan · 2 years

Note

Val Kilmer looking almost awestruck of Tom in that Icemav scene = mood. Tom was so good in that scene and the nostalgia of seeing 2 Hollywood veterans who started their careers at roughly the same time onscreen together after almost 40 years was so emotional my whole family started crying.

i think they both look awestruck of each other and that's a HUGE mood. it's such a good scene and showcases both their acting abilities and their friendship and camaraderie. and they treated Val's character and his condition with so much respect, i loved it so much. what an amazing scene.

#roch answers #anonymous #top gun maverick #tgm spoilers #tg2 spoilers #tom cruise #val kilmer

32 notes · View notes

blackbatpurplecat · 4 years

Text

Catwoman 80th Anniversary

In 1940, one of the now most popular comic book heroes of all time got his very first solo run. It would become a milestone in comic book history. But he wasn’t the only one who had a chance to shine. In that premiere issue, even TWO of his most famous antagonists would be introduced: The man who laughs and the woman who steals.

That woman was intended to become the love of the hero’s life. The good guy and the naughty girl, the appeal was palpable. However, she wasn’t just a love interest or a generic thief or only another villain in the ever growing gallery of rogues the hero would face over decades to come, no - she was quite the character.

Her first alias was “The Cat” which would ultimately become Catwoman. Selina Kyle, the best thief in the world, a literal cat burglar, a classy seductress and queen of sass. And fans loved her so much that over time, she grew to become just as famous as the hero.

Her story has had its ups and downs. Mostly ups. ;) Going from the pages of the comics to the little and the big screen in the 60s, then she disappeared for a while, then made a comeback. She married the hero and had a child, though that marriage was later rebooted and was followed by a depressing origin story a sexist author made up for her in the 80s.

The 90s then turned out to be her decade! She found herself on the TV screen again, animated this time. She was portrayed by a Golden Globe winner on the big screen again. And she finally got her very own solo run in comics.

Her solo title was successful enough to run for over 20 years, a time in which her development from antagonist to anti-heroine would pan out. She would be a member of several teams, dance on both sides of the law, and even have another child. The screen called her back in form of a movie and a tv show. In one she was a thief with a love for killing, in the other a teenager. And we already know that her movie career will soon continue with two more projects.

In 2016, DC rebooted their entire universe. Catwoman’s origin story was changed, her relationships were lost, her solo run got canceled. No one knew what was real anymore - and fans didn’t like it. Only a year later, a retcon followed in a pathetic attempt to restore a status quo fans were familiar with and approved of. Even her solo run came back and today, in June 2020, we celebrate her 80th anniversary!

Catwoman is my favorite DC character ever. She’s clever, she’s funny, she’s stubborn, she’s classy, she’s confident, she plays by her own rules. When written right, she is such an entertaining character, unpredictable and fun.

In 80 years, there have been countless appearances, so many incarnations and interpretations of her - sure, I didn’t like all of them but you can say there’s something for each one of us. You don’t like her in the 2010s? Check out the 90s. You don’t like her in the 40s? Check out the 80s. There’s a version of Catwoman for many different tastes. She never goes out of fashion.

So to celebrate one of DC’s most famous women, they published a collection of 10 stories in total, written and drawn by people who have had touched her character over the past years.

Did Catwoman 80th Anniversary - Celebrating Eight Decades of Beauty and Burglary do her justice?

Warning: Spoilers!

Let’s check out each story and see what the writers came up with for this very special occasion. Except for one, none of these are meant to be canon, it’s just a collection of shorts meant to emphasise why Catwoman is so good. Something I noticed was that each writer had not picked any Catwoman to write but “their” Catwoman. A nice detail. Consistency, why not? Write what you feel comfortable and familiar with. This can only help with the quality of the stories, right? ... Right? ...

Strap in folks, this is going to be a LOOOOONG post!

Story #1: Skin the Cat by Paul Dini

Selina’s just living her normal life with her cats, occasionally stealing some money and jewels. Hey, a girl’s gotta eat. ;) What catches her attention are news reports about stolen big cats. I’m a cat lover myself and this series of crimes would worry me just as much as it worries Selina. She deduces where in Gotham someone could hide those wild cats, breaks in, and is welcomed by an eerie voice - as well as the taxidermied cats. Fucking bastard... The villain Taxidermist, quelle surprise, is behind the cat murders. He now intends to gas Selina and add her to his cat collection but Selina reveals that she’d already turned off the gas before breaking in. She escapes his long knives and watches as three big cats she had brought with her attack and kill him.

What an intro! A story about Selina’s love for cats and her strategic thinking. I really liked the first half! But once the Taxidermist shows up, it loses itself in drawn out exposition. Selina goes on a long monologue to explain to the reader who the Taxidermist is, how she knew it was him, how she turned off the gas, and how she replaced three of the dead cats with alive ones. I would have preferred to actually SEE her preparations for the face-off in flashback panels instead of having to read it. It didn’t feel natural at all. Also how the fuck did she bring 3 wild cats and switch them for the stuffed ones?! How?! And when?! I’m also quite sad that she didn’t get to save the cats. That was a bummer. So all she basically did was bring 3 big cats to kill a killer.

The art’s gorgeous, nothing else to say here!

6/10

Story #2: Now You See Me by Ann Nocenti

Ann Nocenti’s name immediately made me go uh-oh... Her bad and convoluted writing style made readers drop the Catwoman books which eventually lead to the solo run’s cancelation so you can understand why I was concerned.

So Catwoman is hiding a little pouch in a pigeon loft on a roof while pondering who to sell her stolen goods to - as well as where to vacation afterwards. She then notices a surveillance camera. The scene cuts to two cops on surveillance duty. They’re both bored as hell so when one spots Selina, he quickly distracts his colleague and leaves to find her. He takes the pouch out of the pigeon loft and a fight between him and Catwoman ensues. He reveals that he wants to become her partner. He wants to feed her any intel he can see on his screens so she could steal and sells some goods, and they’d split the money. When Selina refuses, he tries to blackmail her into complying. Selina presses a button on a little device and whatever’s in the pouch the cop sacked, explodes, sending him over the edge. Luckily, he lands on an umbrella Penguin had sent off apparently because we see him in one panel, angered that his plan was foiled. I’m not entirely sure what his “brilliant plan” was supposed to be. Something with gas tanks that were strapped to the umbrella I assume? I have no idea.

This one is missing too much context for my taste. What was in the pouch? Did the explosion kill the guy? What was Penguin doing there? What was his plan? Why did we need the second cop? For a super obvious but unnecessary parallel between Catwoman vs. corrupt cop and random woman vs. random man on one of the surveillance screens? Why give Catwoman so little “screen time” and so little dialogue? Is this short story referencing anything from Nocenti’s awful run and I just forgot? To quote Val Kilmer Batman: “It just raises too many questions.”

The art’s okay, nothing too special.

3/10

Story #3: Helena by Tom King

Oh boy. This is the big one. The one everyone’s been waiting for, I guess. The man who not so long ago had promised us a BatCat wedding just to shove a huge middle finger in our faces, promised us a pregnant Selina this time. I was skeptical of course. Also other readers were convinced he’d just let Selina have a miscarriage. Well, the good news is it wasn’t a miscarriage. The bad news is he almost makes Selina seem like she would have preferred a miscarriage.

The story goes like this: Selina hasn’t been feeling well so instead of going to a doctor like a normal person, Bruce scans her head and checks her vitals and blood (I can only assume because we’re not shown). Selina’s convinced that she’s seriously ill but a gentle, hopeful smile on Bruce’s face reveals the actual truth: She is pregnant. And her first reaction is shock and denial. We cut to BatCat fighting Tweedledum and Tweedledee (I think, you can’t really see them but the two men they knock out look identical). Selina then bends over and says that she’s about to throw up. Followed by a Batbucket joke. I’m getting so tired of all the forced self-awareness, guys. We cut to Catwoman, now sporting a baby bump underneath the skin-tight leather, sitting on a roof. She prepares a glass of wine while telling the baby that it is just like Bruce and it’s such a dick for taking away her freedom. After one sip, she chucks the glass away and curses. We’re then treated to a montage of BatCat fighting several rogues while Selina’s belly grows with each panel until it’s an 8, maybe 9 months along belly. I... I have no words. Except for yes, this was written by a man. BatCat are then standing on a roof and Selina laments that she’s a thief, not a mother, and the baby will derail her life and plans. The scene switches to Bruce and Selina in bed, arguing because she’s in labor. Bruce is ready to roll while Selina is STILL in denial, crying that she’s not a mother, that she’s not a hero or a good and brave person like him. Bruce tells her she didn’t run off so that means she’s a good person and they agree that it’s time to have the baby. Another cut to Selina having to take care of a crying baby Helena, asking why she’s crying when it’s Selina’s turn to stay at home and not Bruce’s. Selina talks to Helena, saying she’s luckier than Selina was because Selina’s mom ran off. She fucking FINALLY says something nice about her own child (”You’re a cute little kitten.”) and wonders what they’re going to do with her. The last page is old Selina and grownup Helena after Bruce’s death. Selina’s complaining about the pretty cemetery while Helena likes it. Her daughter’s ability to not shit on just everything and not be a total killjoy all the time causes Selina to say again that Helena is like Bruce. Upon Helena’s question if she’s anything like her mother, Selina answers that she’s just as stubborn as her. If she wants something, she steals it. Helena asks what she ever stole and Selina delivers the last predictable cliche of the story: “You stole my heart.”

Ugh. King’s Selina is just such a boring read. She’s not charming or interesting or sympathetic. Maybe I’m too used to a fun Selina but this one’s just a drag. A heavily pregnant Catwoman fighting Joker, yeah sure, totally not absolute bullshit. And the way Selina keeps distancing herself from the child inside her? For over 9 months?! Is she going out in that ridiculous catsuit because she wants to cause a miscarriage, is that it? So she doesn’t have to make a decision like abortion, adoption or leaving the baby with Bruce? Her constant cussing over the situation and crying and whining turns the pregnancy of my favorite DC couple into such a depressing ordeal.

The art is very pretty! Thank God.

4/10

Story #4: The Catwoman of Earth by Jeff Parker

After the depressing pregnancy of Catwoman, we switch to the wacky 60s version of her. Catwoman and her henchmen are robbing a science fair when suddenly, a UFO arrives. WTF?! Four aliens and a robot are beamed down to the surface and the group’s leader, an arrogant jock-like guy proclaims that they will take over the planet and enslave humanity. Catwoman angrily stands up to him. Turns out the evil aliens are sexist too when the male one tells Catwoman females have to ask for permission to speak and the female alien in the group unhappily agrees. The jock alien tells the muscly male alien to dispose of Catwoman but she’s not easy to dispose of! She fights off the brawler, she cuts the tentacles off the tentacle alien (someone WILL jerk off to that one panel), dodges the jock’s laser gun, steals the laser gun with her whip, shoots the robot to bits, and lets the police take the males away. The female alien seems much happier now and invites Catwoman to a flight around the world in the UFO. Catwoman suggests a trip to Paris so she can loot the Louvre.

Aliens and Catwoman don’t mix. I didn’t really care for this story. I mean it’s great to see Catwoman in action and taking down four guys on her own but... aliens and Catwoman just don’t mix. It was a bit jarring to me. Also the aliens’ designs weren’t super interesting. They were basically pink elves.

The art is beautiful. Catwoman looks like Julie Newmar and the entire color scheme is very 60s.

4/10

Story #5: A Cat of Nine Tales by Liam Sharp

Catwoman’s caught stealing a diamond necklace by an armed security guard. He seems a bit scared of her but knows it’s his job to stop her. She’s not engaging in a fight - of course not, he has a gun pointed at her! So instead, Catwoman relies on her talking skills. And intimidation skills. She tells the guard that there are 9 ways their situation could play out: 1. The guard lets her tie him up and escape with the necklace. 2. She beats his ass. 3. He kills her. 4. She scratches his eyes out. 5. He slips and gets knocked out. 6. He fires his gun, misses her, and the bullet ricochets until it kills him. 7. They team up. 8. She gives up. 9. She kills him. However, the story ends with the guard fainting because Catwoman’s just so damn scary.

Very short, very simple. Even the art is simple, on one page there are 3 very similar panels with only minor changes. Nothing memorable but not too bad. It shows how Catwoman can take someone out even without touching them. It’s okay.

The art reminds me of a comic from the 80s or maybe 90s. Hard to describe why. Guess you have to see it. Again, it’s okay.

5/10

Story #6: Little Bird by Mindy Newell

Selina learns from a news report that a priceless mezuzah has been found at a flea market. It’s currently at the Jewish Museum of Gotham City and Selina immediately steals it. Later, Batman shows up at her place and asks why she wants the mezuzah. She doesn’t give him much of an answer so he leaves. Pretty pointless scene I would say. A flashback reveals that a young Selina used to live with a Jewish lady. I dunno, I guess she’s a foster mother? And the woman liked Selina so much and considered her family so she gave her that mezuzah to pass it on to her own kids one day (even though Selina doesn’t want kids, is not related to the lady, and isn’t Jewish). Back to the present, Selina’s punishing a client. That prostitute background made an unwanted comeback for this story because Selina’s resisting and denying herself love so she’s “whoring”, to prove to herself how despicable she is. Okay...? There’s an inner turmoil going on, she’s torn between selling the artefact or not. Eventually, she decides to bring the mezuzah back to the lady she used to live with. The lady’s grown old and demented, lives in a home and is at the verge of dying. Selina places an envelop between the lady’s hands and leaves. The home’s director finds the envelop which contains the mezuzah, an official document which basically ensures that the lady will be taken care of before and after her death, and a poetic note from Selina.

My least favorite story out of them all - and that is quite an accomplishment when there are King and Nocenti in the same book! It had that Frank “I’m an insane sexist racist asshole” Miller prostitute bullshit in it and Selina hating herself again. This time, the “whoring” (and this word is not me, it’s from the actual story) is used as a way of self-punishment. Because it’s disgusting and wrong and Selina only does it to torture herself. Dunno if that’s the right message you wanna send here... The Jewish lady was kinda random to me because Selina’s not Jewish and never has been Jewish. This is not a negative point, it’s just so random. And the Batman scene was pointless, I have no idea what purpose it served. Except for showing us Batman pay Selina like a john and having Selina make jokes about “whoring.” Ugh.

The art was great, very clean.

1/10

Story #7: Born to Kiln by Chuck Dixon

Going from my least favorite to my favorite story in this book!

Catwoman knows there’s a diamond in a safe on a boat that is set to leave the harbour in the morning. So she climbs aboard at night to steal the gem. She finds several dead sailors and they’re all covered in mud. Who could have done this? Yes, you guessed right - it’s Clayface! He’s already at the safe, opens it, and retrieves the big stone. Catwoman reveals herself and aims a fire hose at him. Her confidence, however, dies the moment the hose doesn’t work. Clayface swallows the diamond and starts chasing after her. There’s apparently a machine to spray-paint cars on the boat so she lures him inside, activates the paint to blind him, and the hot lamps for the drying process immobilise the big pile of mud. Now that he’s nothing more than hard clay, Catwoman takes a wrench to him and takes the freed diamond.

FINALLY a story I really, really like from beginning to end! First off, IT’S PURPLE CATWOMAN!!! Selina is wearing my favorite costume, the iconic Jim Balent suit from her 90s solo run in this story - and I LOVE IT!!! Yeah, her boobs are quite loose in it and sometimes dangle in strange ways but fuck it! LOL I prefer hanging boobs over a tight corset that should reduce her agility or a back breaking pose anytime! We get sneaky Selina, we get playful Selina, we get over confident Selina who has to think fast and run even faster, and she gets what she wants in the end without killing anyone.

The art is gorgeous! It’s very fluid and alive. I also absolutely adore the cute facial expressions on Kitten’s face, especially when she locks Clayface in. I miss Catwoman being fun. In this, she’s just adorable and not sexualised at all.

8/10

Story #8: Conventional Wisdom by Will Pfeifer

Selina finds herself at a Bat Con and is supposed to give autographs. The whole scenario seems weird and confusing to her, she doesn’t remember how she got there or what is going on. Bruce, Joker, Riddler, and Two-Face being there with her to give autographs is even weirder. And why does no one except for her react to that unconscious, bloody man on the floor?! On her way to her panel, she runs into several cosplayers which is basically only fan service. But you will find the male, dark-skinned version of me at her panel, asking when the fuck she will finally put that 90s suit back on!!! The dialogues keep breaking the fourth wall, pointing out that this story is about to end. One of the panel’s attendees looks like Marvel’s Taskmaster and another is Selina herself in her Catwoman suit. Selina slowly remembers what happened: The Taskmaster dude is Doctor Destiny, she broke into his lair and stole his reality distorter, a little machine she’s been carrying around for the entire story. She smashes the machine to wake up back in the lair and cracks her knuckles, ready to take down Doctor Destiny and his goons.

And it was all a dream! That twist has never been a favorite of mine. Even though it’s not really a twist; you know immediately that it’s a dream. We don’t learn anything new about Selina or see anything Catwoman-y in this. It’s really basically fan service. They wanted Selina to see and interact with real life fans of hers so they made it happen. She also comments on various versions of her costume. It’s cute but kinda forgettable.

The art is good, it’s rare to see light and bright colors in a Catwoman book so it was a nice change. And the cosplayers looked nice. But they could have used different body types to make the fans more diverse and visually appealing.

3/10

Story #9: Addicted to Trouble by Ram V

And here we are, the premiere of the duo that will take over Catwoman’s current solo run from #23 onward. We get a first taste of the writing and art and I must say it’s a good taste.

This short story serves as a continuation of Joelle Jones’ #21 issue where at the end of the arc, Selina and her sister Maggie left Gotham in a purple car. So we see a short recap of how they got the car and where they were headed but unfortunately, the engine dies. They hitchhike to Memphis. Selina’s frustrated that Maggie doesn’t talk to her. They get drunk and start a fight at a bar. The cops show up and arrest them. While sitting in the back of the cop car, the girls start laughing together and steal the car. They leave behind their luggage which only contains stuff they won’t miss - including Selina’s cat funeral dress. They drive back to Gotham, Selina steals food and drinks on the way, and they cuddle on a rooftop overlooking the city. The story cuts to Selina and Leandro, a character I would know if I had continued the Jones run. She tells him she wants to lay low for a while and stay out of trouble. When he asks “Oh? Really?”, Selina throws a naughty smile towards the reader. Yeah yeah, lay low my ass. :D

First off, I have no idea what happened before the road trip, I don’t know why they took it or why Maggie doesn’t talk or what the purpose of all of this was because all they do is get drunk, fight an entire bar, and go back. No idea what that accomplished. And I feel sorry for the car because it was so gorgeous. Anyway, I am happy to say that Ram V has a great writing style! He gave a good voice to Selina, it sounded very natural and like a human would talk, no forced exposition or fake deepness.

The art was good, there were a few expressive faces and the bar fight was well executed.

5/10 (because I don’t know the context)

Story #10: The Art of Picking A Lock by Ed Brubaker

Instead of ending with a transition to the next Catwoman issue (which I would have preferred), the collection offers one more story and it’s written by the man who successfully handled the second half of Selina’s first solo run. He turned her stories more into the film noir direction and gave her sidekicks. The run also gave her a fugly suit and made her have sex with old men and Brubaker wanted to kill her off and have her not know who the father to her unborn child was so... yeah, I’m torn about that guy.

The last story shows us Catwoman breaking into a warehouse full of Joker goons while thinking about the thrill of breaking locks and how she learned how to do it when she was at a juvenile detention center. She beats them all up and demands to know where “he” is. Later, her friend Holly is on a motorcycle chasing after a cab while Catwoman is riding on top of a subway. Both reach Gotham’s harbor. We see that the cab is filled with Joker gas and the driver is laughing maniacally. Holly can’t reach the cab in time and it drives off into the water. Catwoman swings down and jumps after it. She breaks the trunk open and reveals a handcuffed Slam Bradley. Cut to the three back on dry land. Holly chides him for going after Joker alone and not waiting for backup. He admits that it was dumb, then shares intel on where Joker will strike and Selina should tell “her friend.” She says she will and Slam ends the book with the words that he could really use a cigarette. NO, this book was not that good that it would warrant a cigarette at the end!

This short obviously takes place during the second half of the first solo run. We see Catwoman in action, that’s cool. Taking down almost a dozen of armed Joker henchmen, that’s pretty badass! And a woman saves the man damsel in distress at the end, that’s a nice ending as well. However, I don’t care about the costume so the visual appeal wasn’t there and I really don’t care about Slam Bradley so the reveal at the end was pretty ugh to me.

The art is great! It’s like a modernised/smoother version of Darwyn Cooke’s style, the artist Brubaker worked on the Catwoman title in the 00s with. So that gives it a pretty nostalgic feel.

5/10

In addition to the 10 stories we’ve now covered, there are pages to show off the Catwoman costumes of each decade as well as pinups. The costume pages are designed in the decade’s style (the 40s are black and white, the 60s psychedelic etc). But what I don’t get about the 90s one: It’s purple Catwoman grayed out in the background and gray BTAS Catwoman in color in the foreground - why make the purple outfit gray when you have an already gray outfit?! Just switch them! Also who put together the 70s one, couldn’t they find better costume examples?!

The seven pinups are pretty, unfortunately the majority feature the black outfits. I was surprised that even Tim Sale drew the black costume and not the purple one from his Long Halloween series. We get one of the gray BTAS costume and Jim Balent thankfully gives us BatCat with his purple creation. Nice!

Well, looking back at my personal scores for this collection of stories, Catwoman’s anniversary issue reached a total of 44/100 points in my book. Wow. That’s... not that good.

Most of the stories ranged from average to bad. Nothing spectacular, nothing memorable. There’s a lack of witty dialogue, Catwoman’s rarely fun to watch. In six stories she’s seen fighting, in three she’s seen being chased so I’m missing the variety here. I would assume you can do more with Catwoman than that. She often rather fights instead of using her wits and smarts. And actual cats are only featured in two stories but in one they die and in the other, Selina says she should drown them. -_-

A collection of 10 new stories was a great idea but celebrating the character this is not. I’m happy that the next writer for Catwoman left a positive impression on me and the story feat. Balent’s Catwoman was a delight. However, the writers didn’t really bring their “A” game for this anniversary issue which is disappointing.

Would I recommend it? Hmmm. It pains me to say: not really, no. You don’t miss much by skipping it. You don’t miss sassy lines or breathtaking art, you don’t miss out on funny scenes or emotional depth. This anniversary issue is merely average and I highly doubt I’ll go back to reread it.

(a huge THANK YOU to everyone who read this entire, way too long post! i highly appreciate it 💜you’re a real trooper!)

#catwoman #review

15 notes · View notes

tabloidtoc · 4 years

Text

Life & Style, May 4

Cover: Rob Lowe -- Fame Almost Killed Me

Page 1: Photo Flash -- Demi Lovato for Harper’s Bazaar

Page 2: Contents

Page 4: The Top 10 Lucy Hale Looks

Page 6: Twinning -- Nicky Hilton vs. Rachel Brosnahan ✅, Claire Foy vs. Maya Rudolph ✅, Phoebe Tonkin ✅ vs. Margot Robbie

Page 8: Lori Loughlin going to jail for 10 years because her attempt to get a judge to drop all charges related to the college admissions cheating scandal backfired in a big way when federal prosecutors released photos of her daughters on rowing machines as well as emails sent by her husband Mossimo Giannulli seemingly laughing about their crimes

Page 9: Kim Kardashian is desperate to get in Meghan Markle’s good graces so she asked mutual friend Serena Williams to schedule a meeting but Meghan doesn’t want anything to do with that family -- Serena thinks Meghan is being silly and rude and it’s put a strain on their friendship, Throwback -- Stephen Colbert, Biggest Spenders of the Week -- David and Victoria Beckham, Kylie Jenner, Amal and George Clooney, Tyler Perry, Ana de Armas

Page 10: Ellen Pompeo is trading in her Grey’s Anatomy scrubs for some dancing shoes -- she’s been trying to do a dance competition show for years and now it’s turned into a docuseries with RuPaul and choreographer Yanis Marshall, after taking a years break from the dating scene Selena Gomez is ready to find love again and she’s asked Taylor Swift to help

Page 12: Alicia Silverstone was well on her way to becoming the next big thing in Hollywood but being called fat and struggling to fit into her Batgirl suit for 1997′s Batman & Robin she had no interest in being famous after that and disappeared from the public eye but she’s now primed for a comeback

Page 13: Lady Gaga fears Dua Lipa is trying to steal her sound as well as her fan base after Dua’s new album got rave reviews but Dua and her camp think that Gaga is the true copycat, Chrissy Teigen is living every hour like it’s happy hour while in quarantine with John Legend and their two kids after vowing to quit drinking in 2017 and 2019, VIP Style -- Sarah Michelle Gellar (pictured), Antoni Porowski sharing the snacks is his pantry including Lenny & Larry’s vegan protein cookies, Sean “Diddy” Combs, January Jones, Ashley Green, Olivia Culpo and Christian McCaffrey, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott

Page 14: The Week in Photos -- Liam Hemsworth in Men’s Health

Page 15: Pink and Carey Hart, Jason Statham and son Jack

Page 16: Kaley Cuoco adopted two tiny piglets named Leeroy and Wilbur, Jennifer Garner and her lookalike daughter Violet

Page 17: Nina Dobrev, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis’ family book club reading How to Rule the World From Your Couch

Page 18: Chris Martin coming and going in low-riding jeans on a bike

Page 20: Jillian Michaels in the park in Malibu with kids Phoenix and Lukensia, Blake Shelton let Gwen Stefani shave a few inches off his quarantine mullet

Page 21: Sarah Silverman cheers on health care workers

Page 22: Jimmy Fallon’s daughters Winnie and Frances help him on the Tonight Show from home

Page 23: Rachel Brosnahan snuggles her dog Nikki, Kate Hudson and Danny Fujikawa walk daughter Rani, Joel Kinnaman hugs supermodel girlfriend Kelly Gale on the beach in LA

Page 24: Stars Behaving Badly -- Lisa Rinna opens a bottle of wine with her teeth, Justin Theroux and rescue dog Kuma wearing a black tie for their sit-down dinner, Courtney Stodden walks her dog Gucci in nothing but a bathrobe

Page 25: Miley Cyrus sprawled across the lap of the Easter Bunny, Ryan Gosling got a parking ticket

Page 26: Say What?! Hannah Ann Sluss paints an unflattering picture of ex Peter Weber’s manhood, Brad Pitt who recently surprised his makeup artist with a home renovation on Celebrity IOU, Emily Ratajkowski on her new addiction to TikTok in self-isolation, Khloe Kardashian on the prospect of getting into a physical fight with her eldest sister Kourtney Kardashian, Laverne Cox on turning 48 in May

Page 28: Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden have grown closer since welcoming their daughter Raddix in January

Page 29: Already a mom of four Heidi Klum is hoping to have another baby with new hubby Tom Kaulitz

Page 30: Cover Story -- Rob Lowe’s untold story -- as he prepares to mark 30 years of sobriety, a look back at his painful wild past

Page 34: Kanye West is fed up with Kim Kardashian -- Kim wants Kanye to help out more at home but he’s tired of being nagged

Page 36: Val Kilmer kisses and tells -- former ladies’ man tells all on a series of famous exes in his new book I’m You’re Huckleberry -- Angelina Jolie, Ellen Barkin, Cher, Carly Simon, Cindy Crawford

Page 38: Kelly Ripa Monster Mom -- her older children are tiring of her criticism

Page 40: Insta Pups -- these canine cuties have built up online followings that rival those of their celebrity owners -- Mark Wahlberg’s pint-size phenom named Champ, Lady Gaga’s li’l monster Asia or Batpig

Page 41: Andy Cohen’s real housepet Wacha, Nina Dobrev’s shaggy scene-stealer Maverick, Scott Disick and Sofia Richie’s baby girl Hershula

Page 42: Who Lives Here? Jennifer Love Hewitt

Page 44: Entertainment

Page 45: Star Review -- Giacomo Gianniotti

Page 46: Fashion -- safari-inspired style -- Emma Watson

Page 48: Beauty -- brow wow -- Sofia Vergara, Shay Mitchell, Emma Roberts

Page 50: Style Crush -- Lauren Conrad

Page 52: Diva or Down-to-Earth? Diva Jessica Alba employs a styling staff, Diva Gigi Hadid applies a 24k gold beauty mask

Page 53: Down-to-Earth Amber Heard cleans out her garage, Down-to-Earth Kristin Chenoweth solves a puzzle

Page 54: Social Stars Posts of the Week -- Jessica Biel and son Silas, Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton, Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber, Bella Hadid kisses a horse while self-isolating at mom Yolanda Hadid’s Pennsylvania farm

Page 55: Sam Smith, Kevin Hart and son Kenzo, Shay Mitchell, Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin with their kids

Page 56: Horoscope -- Taurus Jessica Alba, They’re Not Together But They Should Be -- Capricorn Bradley Cooper and Sagittarius Rita Ora

Page 58: Made Ya Look -- Jim Carrey on The Kelly Clarkson Show

Page 60: What I’m Into -- Jenni “JWOWW” Farley

6 notes · View notes

kootenaygoon · 5 years

Photo

So,

Before changing ownership a decade previous, Tony’s Taphouse had been a biker bar called the Civic. Notorious for its rough clientele and routine bouts of violence, and for harbouring regulars who acted like nocturnal animals, most locals knew it as the Zoo. It had been the preferred haunt for the Hell’s Angels, who had long since been banned from the premises.

“It took us a long time to turn things around,” my boss told me one night, while I manned the door for a Val Kilmer and the New Coke concert. A crowd of twenty-somethings were smoking all around us.

“Whenever we tried to get people to behave they’d say ‘don’t you know this is the Zoo?’ And I would say ‘yes, and I’m the new zookeeper’.”

My boss reminded me of a small child in an enormous body, slightly immature and with a propensity for breaking stuff. He had a reputation for overdoing things, to the point that the Nelson Police Department had nailed him for multiple assault charges. The other bouncers told me he was well known for choke-slamming unruly patrons into unconsciousness, which was the reason he was no longer allowed to assist us when we ejected the city’s shitheads and drunks. The guy was easily 300 pounds, and scary as hell when provoked. The rest of the time he was an amiable teddy bear, quick to laugh and always game to sing “Chocolate Salty Balls” from South Park at karaoke, much to the chagrin of his embarrassed wife.

Most of my shifts were spent alongside a fellow ginger beard named Luke who liked playing bad cop to my good cop. During the day he worked at a pet food store, and he was well-known as a huge softie when it came to animals. While I had a tendency to treat Tony’s like my own personal Cheers, he was monosyllabic and ominous. Late into the night we would hang by the entrance swapping jokes and taking turns shovelling back lettuce wraps and chicken strips, clad in all black.

Eventually I suggested we should update our uniforms. There was a local barber named Chris Brach who bounced at Spiritbar and I admired how he dressed and carried himself like an old-school gentleman. We ultimately settled on matching vests with dress button-down shirts, with each bouncer choosing their favourite colour. I chose a blood red that was almost purple, while Luke went with sky blue. Eventually the whole team adopted this new look, making the whole place that much classier.

Working at Tony’s gave me a whole new perspective on Nelson. I knew who was doing drugs, who was cheating on their spouse, and who was banned from the premises until they came grovelling back to the owners. The Nelson Leafs were preening and omnipresent as peacocks, and in the early hours of the evening I’d encounter the more wholesome members of society as they engaged in events like paint night. Sometimes people would approach me with the latest issue of the Nelson Star, commenting on stories or complimenting me on the cover photo. The print edition was becoming increasingly irrelevant, but Tony’s was one of the few places I could regularly see people consuming it alongside their beer.

From where we stood during our shifts, we looked out at a sports bar that took up the ground floor of the Adventure Hotel. Because we were open later than any other establishment in Nelson, we would watch as the late night crowd funnelled in our direction. Crowds of drunk twenty-somethings would march diagonally across the intersection, ignoring the cross-walks, and it was our job to interpret whether or not they could come into Tony’s based on their lurching gait. Some would nod solemnly when we denied them access, while others would whip themselves into deranged frenzies. They would scream their threats to the uncaring black sky, or demand to talk to the owners. These people pissed me off.

“You’re a good bouncer and everyone loves you, but the other staff have told me you have a tendency to go from zero to sixty pretty quick,” my other boss told me, during a performance review. She was the owner.

“We don’t think it’s a problem, but it’s something we want you to watch out for. Obviously this job can be stressful at times, so it’s up to you to keep your temper in check. It’s about customer service.”

Though there were plenty of threats of violence at Tony’s, it was rare that we actually had to put our hands on people. Most were cowed into submission by our size, and knew they had to play nice if they wanted continued access to the bar. We tried to kill them with kindness, calling them cabs and reassuring them that they’d be welcomed back once they sobered up. More than once I found myself consoling despondent drunks who were horrified by their own behaviour, going through a break-up, or grieving. Some were so confused and inebriated they didn’t know how to get home. I came to love these idiots, or at least most of them, because I considered them part of the Tony’s family.

The most interesting employee was a behemoth brute named Gordo, a holdover from the days of the Zoo, who looked exactly like a bearded Bobby Baccala. The female staff adored him because of his gentle, benevolent presence. He made people feel safe. He wasn’t a bouncer anymore because, like my boss, he’d gone overboard a few too many times. He lived downstairs and oversaw the daily operations, and was only called to help during emergencies. He was the type of guy you didn’t want to fuck with, ever. He loved Tony’s and everyone on staff intensely, and if violence was needed he was more than capable of dispensing it. I’d never met someone with such a fascinating mix of kindness and malevolence to his personality, and I admired how effectively he funnelled his anger in appropriate directions.

One night, during a slow period, he stood out on the street and regaled me with stories of his bouncing days in Toronto. During those years he’d been stabbed and shot multiple times, a fact he delivered with a shy chuckle.

“This one guy was shaking my hand, right? And with his other hand he stabbed me right here,” Gordo said, pointing to his rib cage.

“So I pulled him close to me and snapped his elbow backwards, just like this.”

Gordo recreated the scene with a smile on his face, demonstrating how the guy’s arm had bent the wrong way while the bones snapped and popped. He’d regained control of the situation while the knife was still plunged hilt-deep into his side. He laughed and wiped his eyes, remembering.

“I was a lot bigger back then, if you can imagine that. So the knife didn’t end up doing much damage. It didn’t hit anything significant. Meanwhile this guy’s a puddle on the ground in front of me, whimpering like a little girl.”

When I wasn’t on the door, I would work my way slowly through the lounge area and out to the back patio where people were allowed to smoke. There was a row of comfortable couches and a long counter where people could pull up stools and drink under the gaze of Elephant Mountain. At times I couldn’t believe I was being paid to socialize, and the dance floor playlist introduced me to a new favourite artist: a young Swedish woman named Tove Lo. If we’re talking body, she sang, You got a perfect one so put it on me. If you do me right, we’ll fuck for life, on and on and on.

Paisley had finally moved home to be with her parents, and her absence had proven to be a boon to my mental health. I still missed my dogs desperately but I was finally free to move on without her constant surveillance and gossip. I decided early on that I wouldn’t date anyone on staff, but there was no shortage of young women who would find excuses to linger by the door or stand outside smoking, sizing me up. Most nights I was still ending up at Natalya’s, where I would crawl into her bed and cap the night off with an early morning fuck in the dark. She’d leave her front door unlocked and we’d pant through our routine without speaking a word. She’d resigned herself to the fact I wasn’t interested in anything beyond that, and she never bothered me with small talk. We had what we had, and that was it.

The sleep deprivation involved with working at Tony’s ended up meaning that I spent most of my weekends asleep, recovering in Brendan’s basement and only leaving the house for necessities. Sunday was my only day off, and I needed that down time to get in the right headspace for the Star. I had a couple of ambitious series going on, including one about the Columbia River Treaty, and I needed my mental faculties operating properly to adequately approach these subjects. I could sense that Ed was growing tired of my rock star attitude and reluctance to put in a full 40-hour work week. I kept finding myself asking why I was still there, but I didn’t have another option available. Both jobs and housing were scarce in Nelson, and I was barely holding on.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” I told my friend Tia one night. She worked at the Hume Hotel but had started her own business called Wurst Dog. We’d been discussing whether I could find some sort of entrepreneurial gig to transition to once I was finished with journalism.

“You just have to take a chance and jump, kid,” she said. “Then see where you land. I’m sure there’s all kinds of people in this town who would give you a job doing social media or something.”

“Or maybe I could be a full-time bouncer and write on the side? Finally finish my manuscript? I dunno.”

Tia smiled and mussed my hair.

“I believe in you,” she said. “You’ve got this.”

The Kootenay Goon

1 note · View note

a34trgv2 · 5 years

Text

Why It Worked: The Prince of Egypt

Introduction: The Prince of Egypt is a 1998 animated Biblical historic epic directed by Brenda Chapman, Steve Hickner and Simon Wells. Produced by Penny Finkelman Cox and Sandra Rabins, with the screenplay written by Phillip LaZebnik and Nicholas Meyer, the film retells the Biblical story of Moses and how he freed the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt. The film stars Val Kilmer, Ralph Fiennes, Sandra Bullock, Jeff Goldblum, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sir Patrick Stewart, Helen Mirren, Steve Martin and Martin Short and features music and songs by Hans Zimmer and Stephen Schwartz respectively. Released on December 18, 1998, the film received very positive reviews (scoring an 80% out of 87 critics aggregated on Rotten Tomatoes, with a 7.08/10 average rating), was financially successful (making $218.6 million on a budget of $70 million), won an Academy Award for Best Original Song (When You Believe), spawned a direct-to-video prequel focusing on Joseph (the dream interpreter) and a stage musical at TheaterWorks in California in 2017. Out of the 37 animated films DreamWorks has made, I always viewed The Prince of Egypt as not just my favorite, but also their best film in terms of quality. In this post, I'm going to explain why that is and why we need more films like this.

The Plot: For those who aren't familiar with the story of Moses, it's a tale about hardship, sacrifice and deliverance. A young Hebrew baby is saved from the slaughter of Hebrew babies ordered by Pharaoh out of fear. That baby is picked up by Pharaoh's wife and is named Moses, for he was pulled out from the Nile river. Moses grows up being Pharaoh's son until he finds out his true heritage and essentially exiles himself in the wilderness. There he meets God in the form of a burning bush who tells him that He has heard the Hebrews suffering and has chosen Moses to free them. 12 plagues and 1 crossing of the Red Sea later, the Hebrews are free and Moses is hailed a hero. While this film stays true to the original text for the most part, it does make a few additions and subtractions so that the film flows naturally at an hour and 40 minutes. I could talk all day about the changes made from the text to the film (such as Moses having a stutter and Mirriam giving Moses to the Queen) but in an instance I wish was more common place when it comes to adaptations, the filmmakers provided an opening statement at the start of the film. "The motion picture you are about to see is an adaptation of the Exodus story. While artistic and historical license has been taken, we believe that this film is true to the essence, value and integrity of a story that is a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide. The Biblical story of Moses can be found in the Book of Exodus." It's clear that the filmmakers had nothing but respect for the material and told a strong story about two brothers going on different paths in life. They also don't shy away from the brutality of the story, while still making it accessible for children. People are whipped, drowned, attacked by locus, and even straight up killed. What makes this film stand out from other Biblical films is that it's animated, but not like that of Disney. Where Disney tends to go for the fantastical and colorful, The Prince of Egypt is more reserved and grounded. The characters move more like humans and are designed more like Egyptian hieroglyphics and paintings than fairy tale illustrations. This grounded approach makes the fantastical stuff all the more powerful. The parting of the Red Sea (with blends 2D and 3D animation perfectly) is still one of the most iconic scenes in animation history. The animation in this film is so unlike anything I've seen before or since and it also helps that the story is well written and is brutally honest with it's depiction of slavery and a tyrant ruler.

Cast and Characters: The cast they got for this film is excellent. Sure they're celebrities who (at the time) didn't have prior experience in voice acting (with the exceptions of Michelle Pfeiffer, Jeff Goldblum, Danny Glover, Sir Patrick Stewart, Helen Mirren, Steve Martin and Martin Short). That said, in this film they nailed their respective characters. Starting off with our hero, Val Kilmer gives such a nuanced performance as Moses, making him cockey and arrogant at the start and then making him so well spoken and wise by the end. Moses is such a relatable protagonist and has a genuine arc through the film. His brash and fun loving demeanor is in direct contrast to his uptight older stepbrother, Rameses. Speaking of which, before he was Voldemort, Ralph Fiennes gave such an amazing performance as Rameses, who's at the top of my list for the best villain is DreamWorks' animated catalog. The thing about Rameses is before he became a ruthless tyrant, he strived to be just like his father, who he saw as wise, percise and a real king. At the same time he had such a good relationship with his stepbrother, Moses, that he hoped that they'd make Egypt a better place together. That all changed when Moses came back from his self imposed exile and asked him to release the Hebrews in the name of God. Ralph Fiennes showcases the right amount of worry, stubbornness and sadness of this character, and the chemistry he shares with Moses is perfect. Everyone else does a great job voicing their respective characters as well. Michelle Pfeiffer gives Tzipporah such a snarky personality and makes for a good wife to Moses, Sandra Bullock makes Mirriam such a motherly sister, Jeff Goldblum made Aaron as essentially the voice of the cynical people which this film couldn't function without (also Jeff Goldblum is always a win), and Steve Martin and Martin Short work off each other perfectly as Hotep and Huy. Then there's our Lord and Savior Himself, God. In this film, God is portrayed as the all powerful being He is as described in the Bible. He protects His people, He tells Moses exactly what to do and how to do it, He shows mercy and good favor towards the Hebrews, and He does keep His promise in bringing His people out of Egypt. Val Kilmer provides the voice of God and it sounds so majestic and calm, it's like listening to your best friend.

Songs and Music: There is not a single song in this film that I don't catch myself humming to on a daily basis. That is how powerful these songs are. The opening number, Deliver Us, perfectly captures the oppression of the Hebrews as they are whipped, pushed, and yelled at by the Egyptians. Oh and also babies are slaughtered during this scene, making the song even more powerful. Moses' song, All I Ever Wanted, plays after his encounter with Miriam and Aaron and brilliantly showcases his doubts to his upbringing; right before he's hit with that amazing dream sequence done in the style of Egypt wall paintings. Look at Your Life Through Heaven's Eyes was such an upbeat and fun song that shows you your life has meaning and you should look at it with a more optimistic perspective (through Heaven's eyes, if you will). Playing With The Big Boys is an amazing number, showing the dark mockery of God from Hotep and Huy as well as some impressive visuals (also there's this dope rock cover of the song by Jonathan Young and Caleb Hyles you should really check out: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gqlNY5iX-nA). The 12 plagues are shown via a reprise as All I Ever Wanted and it is genius. The visuals get noticeably darker with each passing plague until all of Egypt is covered in darkness. And Moses and Rameses' duet perfectly captures their opposing viewpoints during this time. Then there's the Oscar winning song, When You Believe. It's the ultimate song of hope, of faith, of belief; it's the song that should be song and heard around the world, especially today when hope and optimism are seen as being ignorant. Also, Hans Zimmer's score for this film is nothing short of magical. The way he uses brass instruments to emphasize God's power is just glorious and the choir is used in the exact place you expect there to be a choir. It's so soothing and majestic, I wish I had the soundtrack.

Where it Falters: My only gripe with the film is the ending. Not that it's bad, but that, well, it ends. Despite the film promising to bring the Hebrews to the promise land, we never actually go there. I thought they'd get to that in a sequel, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon because DreamWorks Animation swore off 2D animated films after Sinbad tanked and they're not nearly as ambitious now as they were back in the 90s and 2000s. Cosmodore made this really insightful video about how DreamWorks Animation almost went bankrupt twice and why their recent output has been geared more towards families (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dLa7xe5GTWw) but the tl;dr is DreamWorks Animation was 1 more financially disappointing year away from closing up shop completely. Still though, I would love to have seen a sequel to The Prince of Egypt focusing on how Moses lead the people through the wilderness.

Conclusion: The Prince of Egypt stands as one of the best animated films ever made. With an amazing soundtrack, memorable characters, beautiful animation, and a stellar voice cast, it's one of a select few films I consider a masterpiece. You could argue that it's not accurate to the story told in the Bible (a fact the filmmakers themselves acknowledge), but it does stay true to the spirit of the story and it doesn't go out of it's way to convince nonbelievers that this is truth. As a film on it's own, it's great and I hope it's watched and remembered for generations to come. Thanks so much for reading and I'll see you soon ;)

2 notes · View notes

tsgmiamiflorida · 6 years

Photo

MIAMI ART WEEk 2018

(photo of Scouted Artist, Johanna Boccardo by Matt Rice Photography)

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Miami Art Week 2018 is almost here. From December 4th through December 9th, Miami will be taken over by art collectors, gallerists, artists and celebs for the 17th installation of Art Basel Miami Beach. With the addition of 15+ satellite fairs and art related events, it is an overwhelming territory to cover in just 6 short days. As such, we’ve put together a quick guide to help you tackle the week.

If you have one day or if it’s your first time, you must see Art Basel at the newly renovated Miami Beach Convention Center. This year’s event is set to take place December 6th-9th. Grab a glass of champagne and peruse 267 of the world's leading modern and contemporary art galleries displaying premier paintings, drawings, sculptures, installations, prints, photography, film, video, and digital art by over 4,000 artists. This show is like going to one of the world’s finest art museums. The most recognizable artists, such as Twombley, Calder, Basquiat, and Bourgeois, are usually at the front of the show while the newer “up and coming” artists are towards the back. The added twist that everything is for sale lends a real air of excitement to the room. In 2017 Art Basel offered over $3.5 billion in art for sale. In addition, there is great people watching between the celeb sightings and general audience attire. Spotted last year were Drake, 50 Cent, Jaime King, Cindy Crawford and Val Kilmer to name a few. The hot ticket is the Preview party on Wednesday night, but best of luck getting in to this invitation-only event. The fair opens to the public Thursday, December 6th at 3 PM. Tickets are $50 online, $60 onsite.

If you have an extra day or are feeling like getting an ambitious start to Miami Art Week, ART MIAMI and CONTEXT open to the public on Wednesday, December 5th at 11AM. Located on the mainland at One Herald Plaza between the Venetian and MacArthur Causeways, Art Miami showcases significant works of art from 20th and 21st century artists. Here you can see a few of the high end pieces that you may find at Art Basel - works by Jim Dine, Roy Lichtenstein or Helen Frankenthaler to name a few - but will also see more works of young, emerging artists and galleries. Sister fair, CONTEXT, highlights newer and cutting edge artists. Together, these fairs are very manageable and parking is easier than on the beach. Much of the art is priced a little lower, starting in the $25,000 range. Plan to spend about 4-5 hours between the two tents. One day passes are $55.

(Photo of Emma Repp’s drawing at the SuperFine art show in October 2018)

Feel like adding a third or fourth day to your Art Week? There is definitely more to be seen. Head back to the beach to take in ART PULSE, UNTITLED , SCOPE MIAMI BEACH , and SUPERFINE . ART PULSE opens to the public on December 6th at its beachfront location at 4601 Collins Avenue. I’ve ‘discovered’ some of my favorite artists here including Jordi Alcaraz and Eva Sussman. You can pick up a piece of art here starting around $7,000. Tickets are $25. UNTITLED, located between Ocean Drive and 12th Street, opens December 5th. Tickets are $35. In addition to contemporary art, visitors to Untitled can see an ongoing performance of #NeverNotWorking which invites everyone to assess their privilege by highlighting the plight of domestic and service workers in the United States. . Then a little further South, Scope Miami Beach enters its 18th year and celebrates international emerging contemporary art and multi-disciplinary creative programming. This fair is located at 801 Ocean Drive and opens to the public on December 5th at 11AM. Tickets are $40. Just next door at the Art Deco Welcome Center is SUPERFINE! Open December 5th-9th, SUPERFINE! features artwork that is affordable and representative of the local art scene. Tickets are $8-$10 depending on day.

Looking for the Next Big Thing? Then you must check out NADA . The 16th edition of this fair will feature over 124 galleries and will take place from December 6th-9th at the Ice Palace Studios. NADA was founded in 2002 and is is dedicated to showcasing new art and to celebrating the rising talents from around the globe. Tickets are $20.

DESIGN MIAMI opens December 5th. This fair features museum quality exhibitions pertaining to interior design. Don’t miss this year’s commissioned piece by contemporary artist Pedro Reyes and fashion designer Carla Fernández which will feature curved steel walls and a map that shows the names of the more than 300 original settlements on pre-Columbian Americas. Design Miami is located next to Art Basel at Meridian Avenue and 19th Street. Admission is $27 online, $32 onsite.

I love works on paper and if you do too, don’t miss INK MIAMI . This fair is unique among Miami’s fairs for its focus on modern and contemporary works on paper by internationally renowned artists. The Old Print Shop, Tandem Press and Durham Press are a few favorites. INK Miami is located at the Suites of Dorchester, two blocks north of 17th, and opens on December 5th at 9AM. Admission is FREE. While you are there, travel 3 blocks south and check out AQUA ART MIAMI Featuring 52 galleries from around the world, this fair opens December 6th at 12PM and is located at 1530 Collins Avenue. Admission is $25.

Spectrum Miami and RED DOT will return to Wynwood this year with shows focusing on certain themes. Spectrum features an international slate of artists and galleries as well as five days filled with Art Labs, Art Talks, Meet the Artist sessions, music, and entertainment. This year’s curatorial theme is Allure which will be demonstrated through atmospheric abstracts, provocative photographs and seductive sculptures. Sister fair, Red Dot, showcases over 75 galleries who will be curating around this year’s theme, Illuminate. These fairs, located at Mana Wynwood, run December 6th-9th. Admission is $25.

(Photo by Zach Balber, curtesy of Bass Art Museum: The Miami Mountain)

All of these fairs have opening night previews. If you have a friend in the know, try to score an invite as these times can be far less crowded. Otherwise, here is a suggested schedule for the general public days:

Wednesday, December 5

ART MIAMI + ART CONTEXT at 1PM. Check out works by TSG Miami featured artist, Carola Bravo at Bernice Steinbaum Gallery’s booth at Art Miami. End the day with a glass of sparkling rose and lobster deviled eggs at Migonette.

Thursday, December 6

SPECTRUM + RED DOT at 1PM. Refuel with a Taco Alambre at Coyo Taco and a coffee from neighboring Panther Coffee and head south to NADA around 5:00PM. Finish the day with drinks and gorgeous views at Cipriani’s when the fair closes around 7PM.

Friday, December 7

DESIGN MIAMI at 11AM followed by ART BASEL at 3PM. Grab lunch at the Garden Cafe by Michelle Bernstein, located at the adjacent Miami Botanical Garden, and pop into INK MIAMI in between.

Saturday, December 8

ART PULSE at 10AM + UNTITLED at 2PM + SCOPE MIAMI + SUPERFINE!. Slip out the back of Art Pulse and take the boardwalk to La Côte at the Fountainbleau for lunch with a beach view. Head south to Ocean Drive for the remaining 3 fairs. You can catch up with TSG Miami featured artist, Jamie Jones, at Superfine! (Booth B04.) Then, finish the day with the late night Happy Hour at The Upland. We recommend an Upland Old Fashioned and Crispy Duck Wings to nibble on!

Sunday, December 9

Revisit your favorite fair from the week and make a last minute deal on a piece before the gallery packs it up! There are also many other events hosted by individual galleries and museums. TSG Miami featured artist, Liv Dockerty will have a pop gallery in Coral Gables at 279 Giralda Avenue while Johanna Boccardo will be part of a group show titled “Mis-placed” at Collective 62.

For more comprehensive list of fairs, collections, and events, click here

#miamiartweek2018 #artbasel2018 #artmiami2018 #artbaselschedule #miamiartweekcalendar #scope2018 #pulse2018 #designmiami2018

2 notes · View notes

updatesnews · 2 years

Text

Top Gun Maverick: Tom Cruise fought for Val Kilmer's return for 'special, beautiful' scene | Films | Entertainment

Top Gun Maverick: Tom Cruise fought for Val Kilmer’s return for ‘special, beautiful’ scene | Films | Entertainment

Later this month Top Gun Maverick will bring Tom Cruise back to the big screen with a need for speed. The sequel, which continues the series almost 40 years later, returns to Cruise’s character, Maverick, as well as introduces the character of Rooster, Goose’s son. There are a lot of open stories in the upcoming movie, but nobody had a more passionate relationship than Maverick and…

View On WordPress

1 note · View note

onlovestreetwithjimmorrison · 7 years

Text

Mary and Jim to the end

Before Jim Morrison became famous with the Doors, he and Mary Werbelow were soul mates. In the never-ending procession of Morrison biographies, she is mentioned briefly but never quoted. Google her, and not a single photo appears. She has never spoken publicly about their three years together - until now.

By ROBERT FARLEY Published September 25, 2005

[Courtesy of Mike Sanders]

WHERE THEY MET:

Clearwater Beach, Pier 60. Mary was in high school, Jim just finished a year at St. Pete Junior College. His second cousin, Gail Swift, who lived in Clearwater, says their relationship was intense: “I think they answered a lonely call inside each other.”

Go to photo gallery

BEAUTY CONTESTANT:

Mary, at 18, competed for the title of Miss Clearwater 1963. The Clearwater Pass Bridge is behind her.

[Courtesy of Clearwater Public Library]

Mary Werbelow is polite but firm: She doesn't do interviews. Ever.

Jim Morrison was her first love, before he got famous with the Doors. Friends from Clearwater say that for three years in the early 1960s, Jim and Mary were inseparable. He mourns their breakup in the Doors' ballad The End.

For nearly 40 years, all manner of people have tracked Mary down and asked for her story, including Oliver Stone, when he was making his movie starring Val Kilmer as Jim. Others waved money. Always she said thank you, no.

"I have spoken to no one."

She can't see what good could come of it; some things are just meant to be kept private. Besides, journalists always get it wrong. They focus on Jim Morrison as drunk, drug abuser, wild man. They don't know his sensitivity and intellect, his charm and humor.

"They take a part of him and sensationalize that. People don't really know Jim. They don't really have a clue."

Mary is afraid to share. Because nobody could ever fully understand him, or her, or them. Not to mention how painful it is, even 40 years later, to relive something she would rather forget. She still aches for love lost; her regret never relents.

She lives in California, alone, in an aging mobile home park. By phone she is told that back in Clearwater, to make way for condos they're tearing down the house on N Osceola Avenue, the place Jim lived in when they met. His room was in back, books stacked everywhere save for the path to his bed.

"That was a lovely home," Mary says. "It's a shame to knock it down."

Across a dozen conversations, she amplifies on stories the old Clearwater crowd tells, and adds some of her own. She says she's not sure why she's talking now. Maybe it's just time.

SUMMER 1962, CLEARWATER:

Nine years before Jim died

Mary and best friend Mary Wilkin spread their beach blanket near Pier 60. Our Mary was 17, wearing a black one-piece, cut all the way down the back, square in front - a little daring for the time, especially for a buttoned-down Catholic girl.

Amid the flattops on the pier, the guy with the mop of hair stood out.

Jim had been sent here by his father, then a Navy captain, after he blew off his high school graduation ceremony in Virginia. He had just finished the year at St. Petersburg Junior College and lived with his grandparents, who ran a coin laundry on Clearwater-Largo Road.

On her beach towel, Mary turned to her friend and uttered the first sexual comment of her life:

"Wow, look at those legs!"

Jim tagged along when his friend came over to flirt with Mary Wilkin. He told our Mary he was a regular pro at the game of matchsticks, a mental puzzle in which the matches are laid out in rows, like a pyramid. Loser picks up the last one.

Jim challenged Mary and suggested they spice things up with a wager. If she won?

"You'll have to be my slave for the day."

If he won? Mary had to watch beach basketball with him.

As Mary's first command, she marched Jim to the barber. She was just finishing her junior year at Clearwater High, where all the boys had flattops; she was not going to be seen with such a hairy mess.

"Shorter," she told the barber.

"Shorter.

"Shorter."

To a buzz cut.

He must really like me, Mary thought. I'll see if I still dig him by the time his hair grows out, and if I do, it won't matter.

Slave order No. 2: Iron and clean. And wash her black Plymouth, a.k.a. "The Bomb."

Jim had begun the wax job when Mary's father rescued him with a picnic basket and suggested the couple adjourn to the Clearwater Causeway.

To cap slave day, Mary had Jim chauffeur her to St. Pete, in the shiny Bomb, to see the movie West Side Story.

Mary was on the high school homecoming court. Her friends did cotillion dances at the Jack Tar Harrison Hotel, hit Brown Brothers dairy store for burgers and malts, and shopped Mertz's records for Ben E. King, Del Shannon and Elvis Presley.

Hair shorn, Jim still attracted attention, shy behind granny glasses, army jacket and a conductor's hat. The local law stopped him multiple times to check his ID.

He read his poetry at the avant-garde Beaux Arts coffeehouse in Pinellas Park and visited St. Pete's only live burlesque show, at the Sun Art Theater on Ninth Street.

Friends who thought they knew Mary couldn't fathom why she would want to hang out with the likes of Jim Morrison.

What they didn't know was how out of place Mary felt in her social circle. Jim talked like no one she had met.

"We're just going to talk in rhymes now," he would say.

He recited long poems from memory. "Listen to this, listen to this," he'd say, "Tiger, tiger, burning bright . . ." - excited, like it was breaking news, not William Blake.

This was not puppy love, Mary says, like the earlier boyfriend who played guitar, wrote songs and serenaded her by phone. This was different. This was intense.

"We connected on a level where speaking was almost unnecessary. We'd look at each other and know what we were thinking."

She liked her alone time, in her bedroom, dancing and drawing.

Jim liked his alone time, in his bedroom, reading.

They skipped dances and football games and hung out, at her house, his grandparents' house, wherever.

"I hated to let him go at night. I couldn't shut the door."

When it came to sex, Mary's answer was no.

"It was not happening. And it didn't for a long time. I'm surprised he held out that long."

Mary's grandparents were strict Catholics. She had visions of them at the last judgment, watching her. "It was too much for me to bear."

The poet

Everybody, everybody, remembers the notebooks. Any time, any place, Jim would fish one from his back pocket, scribble and chuckle.

Chris Kallivokas, Bryan Gates and Tom Duncan. And Phil Anderson, George Greer, Ruth Duncan, Gail Swift and Mary. They all remember.

Around Jim, you always felt watched. He'd bait and goad, get a rise, take notes. "There was no one who wasn't under observation," Gates says. "His only purpose in life was observation."

When Jim drove, Mary kept a notebook at the ready.

"Write this!" he'd say, dictating an observation. Or he'd pull over and scribble himself.

Everyone has a story about Jim's brainy side. Kallivokas remembers the night his Clearwater High buddies and a new kid came by Alexander's Sundries, his father's drugstore on Clearwater Beach. They wanted Kallivokas to come party, but he had a term paper due the next day, on Lord Essex. Naturally, he had written all of two sentences.

"I know all about him," the new kid volunteered. Jim wrote the paper off the top of his head, with footnotes and bibliography.

"To this day, I don't know if it was right," says Kallivokas, who says he got an A+

They would rag Jim that the books crowding his living space were for show. He'd look away and challenge nonbelievers to pick any book and read the beginning of any chapter. He'd name the book, the author and more context than they cared to hear.

"He was a genius," Mary says. "He was incredible."

She says his heroes were William Burroughs, William Blake, Hieronymus Bosch, Norman Mailer, Friedrich Nietzsche, Karl Marx, Arthur Rimbaud, Aldous Huxley, Jack Kerouac.

Mary didn't have heroes like that. "Jim was my hero."

The provocateur

Pre-Mary, Jim's buddy Phil Anderson brought him to a house party on Clearwater Beach.

Jim was dazzling with the dictionary game. People would pick obscure words, and Jim would tell the definitions.

Phil turned, and his pal was standing on the couch, peeing on the floor. "Needless to say, we were asked to leave."

That was Jim. He'd charm, then provoke. It was worse when he drank.

He got epically drunk on Chianti at the all-day car races in Sebring, crawled around in a white fake fur coat like a polar bear covered in dirt and tried to launch himself onto the track. Friends grabbed his ankles.

"He'd get a real pleasure out of shocking people and being a little eccentric and peculiar," Kallivokas says. "And that came to the forefront when he had a couple drinks."

Mary says he rarely drank in her presence.

"It was out of respect for me. We were in love, and he didn't want to do things that I didn't like."

"That's a real key to understanding Jim," Gates says. "She was the love of his life in those days. They were virtually soul mates for three or four years."

In the fall, Jim transferred to Florida State. Most weekends, rain or shine, he hitchhiked back to Clearwater, 230 miles down U.S. 19. Most days in between, letters postmarked Tallahassee arrived at the Werbelow mailbox on Nursery Road.

Mary's father intercepted one, read the page about sex and never got to the part that made clear Jim was writing about a class. Furious at her father's snooping, she burned all Jim's letters, a move she came to regret, deeply.

She wasn't much of a letter writer herself. At Jim's direction, she wrote once a week and included the number of a public telephone in Clearwater and a time he should call.

On his end, Jim would put in a dime for the first two minutes. They would talk for hours. When the operator asked him to settle up, he'd take off. Free phone service.

On her end, Mary would loiter by the phone at the appointed hour, glancing about, certain it was the week the cavalry was coming to arrest her.

"I was so scared," she says, laughing. "I just thought it was normal. I see now it wasn't."

She always assumed he had her wait at different phones for her protection; now she's thinking it was his way of making sure she wrote him at least once a week.

March 30, 1963:

Eight years before Jim died

It's hardly something Mary brags about; she says she would have declined. But when the Jaycees called to recruit her for the Miss Clearwater competition, Mary's mother answered the phone.

"Oh, yeah," mom said, "she'll be happy to do it."

The third and final night of competition, more than 1,000 people packed Clearwater Municipal Auditorium. Five finalists matched "beauty, personality and poise."

Mary was looking good, not that Jim was thrilled. If she won, it was on to Miss Florida. Less time for him.

In her toreador outfit - tight-fitting green pants with red sequins down the sides from hip to ankle - Mary did the bossa nova, swirling a red and yellow satin cape. The Clearwater Sun called her performance a "house-stopper." Time for her big question: "If your husband grew a beard, what would you do?"

What a stupid question, she thought, and answered: "I'd let him grow it. Whether he would kiss me or not would be another matter."

She told the judges she was headed for college, torpedoing her chances because it meant she would not be available to fulfill all obligations of Miss Clearwater.

Sitting through other contestants' routines, Mary scanned the darkened hall until she spotted Jim, bored senseless. But there.

She got first runner-up.

1964-65, Los Angeles:

The breakup

Mary's father banned Jim from the Werbelow house. Mary won't say why; she doesn't want to add to the Morrison myth.

When she followed Jim to Tallahassee for a semester, her parents objected. When he started film school at UCLA and Mary announced she was following him to Los Angeles, they were devastated.

To bribe Mary to stay, her mother bought her an antique bedroom set, no competition for a 19-year-old following her heart.

Mary says Jim asked her to wear "something floaty" when she arrived in Los Angeles. "He wanted me to look like an angel coming off the plane."

Instead, she drove out a week early and surprised him.

Together again, in an exciting, intimidating city, they kept separate apartments. Mary got her first real job, in the office of a hospital X-ray department. Later, she donned a fringe skirt and boots as a go-go dancer at Gazzari's on the Sunset Strip.

Jim studied film. At the end of the year, a handful from among hundreds of student films were selected for public showing. Jim's was not among them.

Shortly after, Mary says, he told her he was humiliated, considered his formal education over and needed to forget everything. He built a fire in his back yard and incinerated many of his precious Florida notebooks.

Mary says he started doubting her commitment. "You're going to leave me," he would tell her.

"No, I'm not. How can you say that? I'm in love with you."

After one fight, Jim went out with another woman. He wasn't home the next morning. Mary went to the woman's house, but she said Jim wasn't there.

Mary called: "Come out wherever you are!"

Jim slinked forward, a hand towel around him. Mary bolted and, in a blur, hit the woman's fence as she sped off.

"That was the beginning of the end."

He was drinking hard and taking psychedelic drugs. The darkness she says she had seen from the start was overtaking him, and she didn't want to watch him explore his self-destructive bent. She felt he had swallowed her identity. Whatever he liked, she liked.

"I had to go out and see what parts of that were me. I just knew I had to be away from him. I needed to be by myself, to find my own identity."

She enrolled in art school. The day Jim helped her move to a new apartment, she told him she needed a break.

"He clammed up after that. I really hurt him. It hurts me to say that. I really hurt him."

They split up in the summer of 1965.

A few months later, Jim got together with a film school buddy, Ray Manzarek, who says he wanted to combine his keyboards with Jim's poetry. They started the band that became the Doors.

Friends from Clearwater never saw it coming. Back then, Jim didn't have much interest in music. He didn't even appear to have rhythm.

"He didn't sit around and sing," Mary says, laughing. "Jim, no, he was a poet. He wrote poetry."

By phone from his home in Northern California, Manzarek says all the guys in film school were in love with Mary. She was gorgeous, and sweet on top of that. "She was Jim's first love. She held a deep place in his soul."

The Doors' 11-minute ballad The End, Manzarek says, originally was "a short goodbye love song to Mary." (The famous oedipal parts were added later.)

This is the end, Beautiful friend

This is the end, My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end

Of everything that stands, the end

No safety or surprise, the end

I'll never look into your eyes . . . again

. . .

This is the end, Beautiful friend

This is the end, My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free

But you'll never follow me

The end of laughter and soft lies

The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

* * *

Within two years of their breakup, Light My Fire was No. 1 on the charts and Jim was the "King of Orgasmic Rock," the brooding heartthrob staring from the covers of Rolling Stone and Life.

He took up with other women, notably with longtime companion Pamela Courson, but Mary says she and Jim kept up with each other. She says she was his anchor to the times before things got crazy.

"I'd see him when he really needed to talk to someone."

Before a photo shoot for the Doors' fourth album, she says Jim told her: "The first three albums are about you. Didn't you know that?"

She says she didn't have the heart to tell him she had never really listened to them. She had heard Doors songs on the radio, but she didn't go to his concerts, she didn't keep up with his career.

Mary vehemently denies it, but Manzarek says she told Jim, "The band is no good and you'll never make it." He says Mary wanted Jim to go back to school, get a master's degree and make something of himself.

When Mary moved, she says, Jim had a knack for finding her. He would eventually ask if she had changed her mind. "Why can't we be together now?"

Not yet, she would answer, someday.

More than once, she says, he asked her to marry.

"It was heartbreaking. I knew I wanted to be with him, but I couldn't."

She thought they were too young. She worried they might grow apart. She needed more time to explore her own identity.

In late 1968, Mary moved to India to study meditation. She never saw Jim again.

March 1, 1969, Miami:

Two years before Jim died

With the Doors coming for their first Florida concert, Chris Kallivokas left a message with his old friend's record company. He says Jim called him back, loving life.

"The chicks we get, the money. . . . It's great."

"So that crowd control works," Kallivokas teased, talking about theories that intrigued Jim in Collective Behavior class at FSU. He said Jim answered:

"You've got to make them believe you're doing them a favor by being onstage. The more abusive you are, the more they love it."

They planned a reunion in Clearwater.

* * *

Some 15,000 fans cram into the 10,000-capacity Dinner Key Auditorium, a sweaty, converted seaplane hangar in Miami. Jim Morrison announces his drunken presence with dissonant blasts from a harmonica.

The cover boy, 26 now, has a paunch and beard, a cowboy hat with a skull and crossbones and noticeably slurred speech.

One stanza into the second song, Five to One, he berates the crowd.

"You're all a bunch of f - - - - - - idiots!"

Confused silence. Uncomfortable laughter.

"Letting people tell you what you're gonna do, letting people push you around. How long you do think it's gonna last? . . .

"Maybe you like it. Maybe you like being pushed around. Maybe you love it. Maybe you love getting your face stuck in the s - - -."

Screams from the audience.

"You're all a bunch of slaves. . . .

"Letting everybody push you around. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do! What are you gonna do! What are you gonna do!"

He talks as much as he sings. He wails about loneliness and rants about love. Three songs after berating the crowd, the music softens and he lets loose a plaintive:

"Away, away, away, away, in India

"Away, away, away, away in In-di-a

"Away, away, away, away in In-di-a."

* * *

Morrison invited the crowd onstage, and the concert disintegrated. Amid the chaos, he supposedly unzipped his pants, exposed himself and simulated sex with guitarist Robby Krieger.

With the country debating indecency run amok, Jim Morrison was Exhibit A. He was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, a felony, plus indecent exposure and two other misdemeanors.

The courtroom in Miami was packed. State witnesses saw what they saw. Others said it was hype, Morrison only simulated what he was accused of. There wasn't a single damning photo.

Bryan Gates hadn't seen Jim in ages. They caught up during a break, and talk inevitably turned to Mary. What ever happened to her? Gates asked. Jim said he had lost touch, California seemed to have swallowed her up psychically.

He was acquitted of the felony but convicted of indecent exposure. On Oct. 30, 1970, he was sentenced to six months of "confinement at hard labor" in the Dade County Jail.

Out on appeal, he moved to Paris, where he shared an apartment with Courson.

The Doors released L.A. Woman in April 1971, with hit songs Love Her Madly and Riders on the Storm. Months later, Jim Morrison was dead.

On July 3, 1971, Courson found him in the bathtub. The listed cause of death was heart attack; drugs were suspected. He was 27.

September 2005

34 years after Jim died

Mary is 61, unemployed and rarely leaves her mobile home. She says she married and divorced twice, and she has no children.

"I can't find anybody to replace Jim. We definitely have a soul connection so deep. I've never had anything like that again, and I don't expect I ever will."

She painted, mostly realistic oil portraits. She won a small legal settlement after she said she developed multiple chemical sensitivities from rat poison that seeped through the vents of her art studio over the years. It makes it difficult to be around scented products, and she gave up her art.

Mary would not meet with a reporter for this story or allow her photo to be taken. She says she weighs exactly what she did in high school - 107 pounds - but now her hair is long and gray. "People sometimes tell me I look like an artist."

She doesn't think the early Doors albums are all about her but says the lyrics include references to her and Jim's shared experiences, including the "blue bus" in The End. She considered writing about the references but decided against it. An artist herself, she didn't want to spoil people's various interpretations.

For decades, she says, she brooded over how things might have turned out had they stayed together but finally concluded it was destiny. "He was supposed to go into that deep, dark place."

His grave in Paris draws pilgrims from around the world, but not Mary. Quite the opposite, she says. She wants to forget, and still she feels his ghost checking on her.

Lines in Break on Through especially pain her, lines she interprets as Jim saying she betrayed him by not getting back together:

Arms that chain us

Eyes that lie

"I promised it wouldn't be forever, that I'd get back together with him sometime. I never did. It's very painful to think of that. For a long time, any time I would think about him, or anyone would talk about him, I'd cry.

"It used to make me so sad. I never gave him that second chance. That destroyed me for so long. I let him go and never gave him that second chance. I felt so guilty about that."

Mary says she is tired. She has trouble sleeping. She says she's not sure if she has done right by talking so much. She's worried that others will seek interviews that she does not want to give. She wants that made clear: She does not want to talk about Jim anymore.

- St. Petersburg Times researcher Caryn Baird contributed to this report.http://www.sptimes.com/2005/09/25/Doors/Mary_and_Jim_to_the_e.shtml

#Jim Morrison #Mary Werbelow

20 notes · View notes

deltamovies · 7 years

Text

Song to Song Free Full HD watch online & movie trailer

Release Year: 2017

Rating: 6.4/10 ( voted)

Critic's Score: /100

Director: Terrence Malick

Stars: Ryan Gosling, Rooney Mara, Michael Fassbender

Storyline Two intersecting love triangles. Obsession and betrayal set against the music scene in Austin, Texas.

Cast: Ryan Gosling –

Rooney Mara –

Faye

Michael Fassbender –

Cook

Natalie Portman –

Rhonda

Cate Blanchett –

Amanda

Holly Hunter –

Miranda

Bérénice Marlohe –

Zoey

Val Kilmer –

Duane

Lykke Li –

Lykke

Olivia Grace Applegate –

Emma

(as Olivia Applegate)

Dana Falconberry –

Faye's Sister

Linda Emond –

BV's Mother Judy

Louanne Stephens –

Mrs. Gansmer

Christin Sawyer Davis –

Angry Woman

Tom Sturridge –

BV's Brother

Taglines: Love. Obsession. Betrayal.

Details

Official Website: Official Facebook |

Official site |

Country: USA

Language: English

Release Date: 3 Jan 2017

Filming Locations: Austin, Texas, USA

Opening Weekend: $50,559

(USA) (17 March 2017)

Gross: $421,856

(USA) (14 April 2017)

Technical Specs

Runtime: 129 min

Did You Know?

Trivia: Shot in only 40 days over a time period of nearly 2 years. The shooting days were long, starting in the morning, with only a 30-minute break for lunch. The actors were even shot in the car, moving from one location to the next, just in case it turned into interesting footage that could be used in the movie. [Variety 2017] See more »

Quotes:

User Review

Author:

Rating: 4/10 First off, I must say I am not a Terrence Malick hater. On the contrary: I used to worship the man. I even took an entire course in film school dedicated to him, Orson Welles, and Stanley Kubrick. I think the 5 films Malick did in the first 38 years of his career ("Badlands," "Days of Heaven," "The Thin Red Line," "The New World," and "The Tree of Life") are all masterpieces. I even liked "To the Wonder," which was almost universally panned, even though it was clearly not in the same league as his previous films. After the acclaimed "The Tree of Life," Malick (now 73 years old) has been working on several projects in different stages of production. He filmed "Song to Song" immediately after "Knight of Cups" (released last year) back in 2012, and it's only being released now, as a 129-minute film, after almost five years of post-production and at least 8 editors to turn it into something remotely coherent (reportedly, the first cut was 8 hours long). Unfortunately, like "Knight of Cups," "Song to Song" feels like a parody of Malick's work: the extensive, mumbling voice-over narration by all the main characters (taken to the extreme), the stunning imagery of nature and high-end real estate, and gorgeous people literally walking in circles and acting cute (or mean) to one another. The very thin plot revolves, as you heard, around two intersecting love triangles set against the music scene in Austin, Texas. But music doesn't play a great part in this story, and it certainly could have elevated it.

As abstract as Malick's earlier films could be, they all had tangible, rich, philosophical and often universal themes. "Knight of Cups" and "Song to Song" are pure cinematic masturbation. Malick's trick is getting some of the biggest (and best-looking) film stars in the world, and his main actors (Rooney Mara, Ryan Gosling, Michael Fassbender, Natalie Portman) have faces that one can easily watch for hours. But not even these great stars can masquerade the emptiness of the film. Mara has the most screen time of them all, being the only true leading character here, while Cate Blanchett, Holly Hunter, Val Kilmer, and Berenice Marlohe are reduced to cameos. There's at least one painfully genuine moment, near the end, featuring Hunter's character, but it only lasts a few seconds; Malick's gaze isn't interested in her emotions. He'd rather show us, for the umpteenth time, Mara and Fassbender being flirty and sexy instead.

I am all about experimental cinema, but when you realize that this is the deepest sort of "experimental" project that Hollywood can put out (made by a revered auteur that movie stars almost pay to work with), you feel even more nostalgic for the daring collaborations between Tilda Swinton and the late Derek Jarman. I know people who deemed "Knight of Cups" a "masterpiece" and will probably say the same about "Song to Song." I try to be respectful of other people's opinions, but I really don't think we're seeing this film through the same lens. I still admire and respect Malick; I just liked his work more when he had something to say. Right now, I see him as someone who can afford to make gorgeous-looking home movies just for his pleasure, but he's a much more interesting artist when he expands his canvas into something we can truly care about.

The post Song to Song appeared first on The Movie Entertainment of the 21st Century!.

from http://ift.tt/2tJQpR5

#Song to Song #Drama #Movies

0 notes

datingadviceonreddit · 8 years

Link

I was wondering how my old "friend" Paris has been doing in recent years. Looked her up on Twitter. I'm there, who's this latest "Beau". Haven't heard of these past half dozen guys since though. Nothing has changed with her. haha.Need some place online to post a bunch of text room so doing this here even though you guys will read it too. But this is for her to check out from elsewhere ok.This is gonna take some text room. Let's do the Dr. Phil and wonder and try to analyze the ongoing situation of Paris's boyfriends over the years. How come none of 'em work out.Checking the whodatedwho site,http://ift.tt/2mVxS3L's up to guy #53. I'd like to do a couple reddit style r/dataisbeautiful graphs of these guys. One sorted by most recent, the other graph would be sorted by who lasted the longest. Maybe one of you handy fellows can do that. See who lasted the longest. Sure is a lot of data. Lets take a look at their stats."Paris Hilton has been engaged to Paris Kasidokostas Latsis (2005) and Jason Shaw (2002 - 2003)."oh oh, what's this.. guys who got "serious". Note that is a VERY short list and was back in the good old days before things became jaded. She said "fuck it" to the getting married after only those two. And those were in the first period of the game. Now she's oh, in the middle of the second period at the game of life.I haven't checked out this celeb shit since I used to joke around with them in private rooms on myspace 2006. I remember that other Paris dude.. was looking like "true love" eh. Both the same first names, rich heirs.Later though that Benji guy.. seemed like he was lasting long. But when you look at these stats he was just par for the course.What else do we got here.. "Paris Hilton has been in relationships with Thomas Gross (2015 - 2016), Josh Upshaw (2014), River Viiperi (2012 - 2014), Afrojack (2011 - 2012), Cy Waits (2010 - 2011), Doug Reinhardt (2009 - 2010), Benji Madden (2008), Alex Vaggo (2007), Matt Leinart (2007), Stavros Niarchos (2005 - 2006), Chad Muska (2004 - 2005), Fred Durst (2004), Simon Rex (2004 - 2008), Nick Carter (2003 - 2004), Deryck Whibley (2003), Joe Francis (2003), Rick Salomon (2001), Leonardo DiCaprio (2000), Oscar De La Hoya (2000), Edward Furlong (1999 - 2000) and Randy Spelling (1996 - 1999).""Paris Hilton has had encounters with Todd Phillips (2011), Cristiano Ronaldo (2009), Jared Leto (2008), 50 Cent (2008), Brody Jenner (2007), DJ AM (2007), Adrian Grenier (2007), Tyler Atkins (2007), Josh Henderson (2007), Kid Rock (2007), James Neate (2006), Andy Roddick (2006), Criss Angel (2006 - 2007), Travis Barker (2006), Brandon Jack James (2006), Scott Storch (2006), Val Kilmer (2005), Lucas Babin (2004), Jake Sumner (2004), Jack Osbourne (2003), Mark McGrath (2003) and Vincent Gallo (2003)."Fuck, this is a lot of data. haha. Hope I got enough text limit room. This is actually par for the course with most celebs. MOST girls slut it up like that in Hollywood. These "encounters", most people don't know about 'em in mainstream news. Let's take a look at these numbers. lol.Fuck, I need a dataisbeautiful graph on these boys though. See which pecker was the longest, so to speak.Hang on, they got the sort by "table" and it notes, length. haha.. no not pecker length. Fuck, this is a lot of data to go thru. I'm not gonna use the word "slut" in any of this though, ok. haha. She's just a "trooper" who's hanging in there hopeful for true love, someday. ROFL! Omg this shit is making me laugh. But holy shit, that's a hell of a lot of either getting dumped or being dumped. She doesn't care though, she needs her sex all the time and will keep going at it. She's not a quitter though, I'll give her that. She's hanging in there hopeful for true love some day. lol. yes, I had to put a "lol" after that one. lolShe must have her heart hardened at this point. If they start to lose interest, she thinks, well I've seen that before. They get replaced like a servant around the mansion and she doesn't think about them twice later. She goes, oh well I guess they sorta last as long as dogs. How long did Tinkerbell last? That's the one I remember back then. But no way that's still around. So she keeps getting other "Tinkerbells" same thing as the boys.Partner Type Start End Length 53 Chris Zylka Relationship Aug 2016 present 7 months52 Thomas Gross Relationship May 2015 Apr 2016 11 months51 Jordan Barrett Encounter R Jan 2015 Jan 2015 -50 Josh Upshaw Relationship Jul 2014 Sep 2014 2 months49 River Viiperi Relationship Sep 2012 Jul 2014 1 year48 Afrojack Relationship Sep 2011 Aug 2012 11 months47 Todd Phillips Encounter Jul 2011 Jul 2011 -46 Cy Waits Relationship Aug 2010 Jun 2011 10 months45 Cristiano Ronaldo Encounter Jun 2009 Jun 2009 -44 Doug Reinhardt Relationship Feb 2009 Apr 2010 1 year43 Benji Madden Relationship Feb 2008 Nov 2008 9 months42 Jared Leto Encounter Jan 2008 Jan 2008 -41 50 Cent Encounter 2008 2008 -40 Julian Feitsma Encounter R Dec 2007 Dec 2007 -39 Brody Jenner Encounter Dec 2007 Dec 2007 -38 Alex Vaggo Relationship Sep 2007 Dec 2007 3 months37 DJ AM Encounter Sep 2007 Sep 2007 -36 Adrian Grenier Encounter Aug 2007 Aug 2007 -35 Tyler Atkins Encounter Jul 2007 Jul 2007 -34 James Blunt Encounter R Apr 2007 Apr 2007 -33 Matt Leinart Relationship Apr 2007 Jul 2007 3 months32 Josh Henderson Encounter Mar 2007 Mar 2007 -31 Kid Rock Encounter 2007 2007 -30 Harry Morton Encounter R Nov 2006 Nov 2006 -29 Criss Angel Encounter Oct 2006 Feb 2007 4 months28 James Neate Encounter Oct 2006 Oct 2006 -27 Andy Roddick Encounter Oct 2006 Oct 2006 -26 Travis Barker Encounter Sep 2006 Sep 2006 -25 Brandon Jack James Encounter Jul 2006 Jul 2006 -24 José Théodore Encounter R Jun 2006 Jun 2006 -23 Scott Storch Encounter 2006 2006 -22 Stavros Niarchos Relationship Oct 2005 Apr 2006 6 months21 Val Kilmer Encounter Mar 2005 Mar 2005 -20 Paris Kasidokostas Latsis Relationship Dec 2004 Sep 2005 9 months19 Chad Muska Relationship Nov 2004 Feb 2005 3 months18 Lucas Babin Encounter Oct 2004 Nov 2004 1 month17 Fred Durst Relationship Aug 2004 Oct 2004 2 months16 Jake Sumner Encounter Jul 2004 Jul 2004 -15 Chad Michael Murray Encounter R May 2004 May 2004 -14 Simon Rex Relationship 2004 2008 4 years13 Nick Carter Relationship Dec 2003 Jul 2004 7 months12 Jack Osbourne Encounter Sep 2003 Sep 2003 -11 Deryck Whibley Relationship Jun 2003 Nov 2003 5 months10 Mark McGrath Encounter May 2003 May 2003 -9 Vincent Gallo Encounter Apr 2003 Apr 2003 -8 Joe Francis Relationship 2003 2003 -7 Jason Shaw Relationship Aug 2001 Feb 2003 1 year6 Tom Sizemore Encounter R Jun 2001 Jun 2001 -5 Rick Salomon Relationship Feb 2001 May 2001 2 months4 Leonardo DiCaprio Relationship R Sep 2000 Nov 2000 2 months3 Oscar De La Hoya Relationship R Jun 2000 Aug 2000 2 months2 Edward Furlong Relationship Sep 1999 May 2000 8 months1 Randy Spelling Relationship May 1996 Jul 1999 3 yearsphew.. thats a lot of data. Hang on.. Some chicks they joke around about how they fuck the whole football team.. but come on here.. 53 guys.. How many people can fit in a Greyhound bus? haha.. lemme go check.Holy shit. "Greyhound currently has 65 of the G4500 models on the road. First purchased in 1995, these coaches carry 54 or 55 passengers. Greyhound has 189 of these buses in their fleet."omg.. no vancancy a couple guys from now, Paris! hahaha. Imagine walking into that bus with all the boys she fucked. That's pretty bad, Paris. hahaha! And you're not a slut? :-D Fuck, I like bugging her. haha.How many guys in a football team?"11 players. In both American and European football, no more than 11 players are allowed on the field at any one time from each team"So she fucked how many football teams? hahaha. Well she's almost at 5, because that'd be 55. That's a lot of football teams there, paris. But those are just the guys on the field.How about hockey teams. lol. Under the rules of the International Ice Hockey Federation, a hockey team is allowed to have up to 20 players on the bench with an additional two goalkeepers. So that's 22.. BOTH teams, 44. She could go at BOTH teams, plus the referees and coaches. ROFL.ok let's sort that list again but this time by which "dude" tried to be "long term" with her. Which dude lasted the longest. lol. This shit is gonna take a lot of text room.Partner Type Start End Length 01 - 1 Randy Spelling Relationship May 1996 Jul 1999 3 years02 - 49 River Viiperi Relationship Sep 2012 Jul 2014 1 year03 - 44 Doug Reinhardt Relationship Feb 2009 Apr 2010 1 year04 - 7 Jason Shaw Relationship Aug 2001 Feb 2003 1 year05 - 52 Thomas Gross Relationship May 2015 Apr 2016 11 months06 - 48 Afrojack Relationship Sep 2011 Aug 2012 11 months07 - 46 Cy Waits Relationship Aug 2010 Jun 2011 10 months08 - 43 Benji Madden Relationship Feb 2008 Nov 2008 9 months09 - 20 Paris Kasidokostas Latsis Relationship Dec 2004 Sep 2005 9 months10 - 2 Edward Furlong Relationship Sep 1999 May 2000 8 months11 - 53 Chris Zylka Relationship Aug 2016 present 7 months12 - 13 Nick Carter Relationship Dec 2003 Jul 2004 7 months13 - 22 Stavros Niarchos Relationship Oct 2005 Apr 2006 6 months14 - 11 Deryck Whibley Relationship Jun 2003 Nov 2003 5 months15 - 29 Criss Angel Encounter Oct 2006 Feb 2007 4 months16 - 38 Alex Vaggo Relationship Sep 2007 Dec 2007 3 months17 - 33 Matt Leinart Relationship Apr 2007 Jul 2007 3 months18 - 19 Chad Muska Relationship Nov 2004 Feb 2005 3 months19 - 50 Josh Upshaw Relationship Jul 2014 Sep 2014 2 months20 - 17 Fred Durst Relationship Aug 2004 Oct 2004 2 months21 - 5 Rick Salomon Relationship Feb 2001 May 2001 2 months22 - 4 Leonardo DiCaprio Relationship R Sep 2000 Nov 2000 2 months23 - 3 Oscar De La Hoya Relationship R Jun 2000 Aug 2000 2 months24 - 18 Lucas Babin Encounter Oct 2004 Nov 2004 1 month25 - 51 Jordan Barrett Encounter R Jan 2015 Jan 2015 -26 - 47 Todd Phillips Encounter Jul 2011 Jul 2011 -27 - 45 Cristiano Ronaldo Encounter Jun 2009 Jun 2009 -28 - 42 Jared Leto Encounter Jan 2008 Jan 2008 -29 - 41 50 Cent Encounter 2008 2008 -30 - 40 Julian Feitsma Encounter R Dec 2007 Dec 2007 -31 - 39 Brody Jenner Encounter Dec 2007 Dec 2007 -32 - 37 DJ AM Encounter Sep 2007 Sep 2007 -33 - 36 Adrian Grenier Encounter Aug 2007 Aug 2007 -34 - 35 Tyler Atkins Encounter Jul 2007 Jul 2007 -35 - 34 James Blunt Encounter R Apr 2007 Apr 2007 -36 - 32 Josh Henderson Encounter Mar 2007 Mar 2007 -37 - 31 Kid Rock Encounter 2007 2007 -38 - 30 Harry Morton Encounter R Nov 2006 Nov 2006 -39 - 28 James Neate Encounter Oct 2006 Oct 2006 -40 - 27 Andy Roddick Encounter Oct 2006 Oct 2006 -41 - 26 Travis Barker Encounter Sep 2006 Sep 2006 -42 - 25 Brandon Jack James Encounter Jul 2006 Jul 2006 -43 - 24 José Théodore Encounter R Jun 2006 Jun 2006 -44 - 23 Scott Storch Encounter 2006 2006 -45 - 21 Val Kilmer Encounter Mar 2005 Mar 2005 -46 - 16 Jake Sumner Encounter Jul 2004 Jul 2004 -47 - 15 Chad Michael Murray Encounter R May 2004 May 2004 -48 - 14 Simon Rex Relationship 2004 2008 4 years49 - 12 Jack Osbourne Encounter Sep 2003 Sep 2003 -50 - 10 Mark McGrath Encounter May 2003 May 2003 -51 - 9 Vincent Gallo Encounter Apr 2003 Apr 2003 -52 - 8 Joe Francis Relationship 2003 2003 -53 - 6 Tom Sizemore Encounter R Jun 2001 Jun 2001 -ok we've got a problem there. Longest dude was the first one. 3 years. After that, 3 guys that lasted one year. Looks like the "encounters" went on in the earlier years. In later years they're relationships. None of the 52 boys have broke the 1 year barrier. Happy anniversary, eh Paris. hahaha :-DThis is tough data to go thru then, now you have to look at, ok what's going on in recent years, do they last longer. But it's ALL less than 1 year though. Huge relationship issues just right there. But hey, let's analyze which chump doesn't bail out after a few months.What exactly is the problem here. This isn't just one guy. This is 4 football teams and plus the coaches and all the referees, and probably might as well throw in the fucking play-by-play commentators in the announcement box. lol ok this makes your head spin that, Houston.. sure sounds like we've got a problem.I get it, sex becomes routine after a while. I think what's going on is they lose interest and she goes, "fuck them" and gets another one.Looking at the stats, she does seem to try to make them hang around longer in later years. So you do see some improvement there. But the sheer amount is not normal. There's underlying issues here. It's like, WHY, how come they bail out.I know I read years ago they found Valtrex in her locker. But they all have STD's in Hollywood.A few months ago read about Jim Carrey's ex suing him saying he had 3 kinds of STDs or something. Hollywood, they're all inbred eh. So they all get those same diseases then it's ok if they shag each other. That's gotta come into play with why these guys don't last long.And then what's going on with no kids. At that age, you're almost done. I get it, you'd need a long term guy to do that first. So if that doesn't happen, not gonna be workin out there. But time's runnin out if she has that planned. Maybe she can't have kids, or isn't interested. Something fishy there too, abnormal.So I don't know what's going on there.. What do we got.. well nobody lasts longer than a year. The question is, WHY. This isn't just one guy either it's fucking 52 of them. haha. I don't know.. go figure. haha. It isn't just one of them, it's ALL of them. Is it her or is it them that's the problem.Where does this "new guy" stand in the rankings. If you sort it by longest, he's #11 on the all time hall of fame. haha. Pretty good though, 7 months. We'll give him a participation ribbon. lol. If he can make it past the 1 year, he gets a trooper trophy. lolLet's go back to the beginning. What went on with her there after this first guy. He lasted 3 years, it was normal.. but then wow she slutted it up, going wild with all those teams of guys. haha. It's like she said "fuck it" after that first guy broke her heart or he got bored and was routine and didn't love her, shit like that.She got burned by the fire and said "fuck this" after that. But she keeps trying though. She keeps hanging in there. She didn't quit and say fuck men, they're all assholes and dyke it up. So good for you there, sweetie. hahaha. Sometimes they do that though, they say fuck men. Christ, you'd think at this point she'd have done that. hahaha. How many times can you get burned by fire.Is the problem her, or is it THEM. That's a good question. You know how boys are. They cheat eh. They get bored after a while. The old same sex routine. Could be them. They usually are all the same.Plus here's a huge factor to the problem. She likes "hot guys", right. Well, they're even worse. As Dr. Phil would make you wonder to yourself, how's what you're doing been working out for ya.Well, I'd say, maybe it's this choice of "hot guy" which could be the problem with things never lasting long term. If you change your gameplan and go for a guy that other women don't always want to have your man, you'd take that factor out. So you got a problem there. Either way, whatever's going on, you can't dispute the stats. lol. Doesn't look good. Mr what's his name now, has a 98% chance he won't be around next summer. That's a little discouraging though, eh? :-D Fuck, this shit makes me laugh.Like what's going on here with these fucking guys. A lot of them I don't recognize their names. I betcha they "use" her as a stepping stone to initially get a bit famous and work in the industry. Then once that factor wears off, they can't go up in the industry by using her more so she gets dumped.Maybe they never really truly loved her, just pretend the whole time with fake kisses and later that shit doesn't last. This is why none of them last.But.. if they're more famous than her, that's not as much of a factor, of her being used to increase their fame. I think a lot of these more famous guys don't want to get involved with her because this sex track record doesn't look good. Everybody would think, well this guy isn't gonna last. You're looking at 98% odds, right. So everybody's staying away. Plus STD's. Not good.No wonder she has this glazed depressed look in that latest NYpost photoshoot. Plus she's always getting busted for drugs. Pot isn't too bad but how about that coke. Need it to just feel normal. That'll fuck up your mood of being "happy". Oh and when they found the valtrex they found ambien. Well she'd likely be on who knows what kinds of all sorts of pills. They all do that in hollywood. That shit fucks ya up. Anti-depressants and what not. No wonder she's not smiling in those photoshoots. lol.In earlier years there were more recognizable celeb names but lately she goes for these unknown guys who likely use her more. No shit that's not gonna work out.So there ya go.. that a fair analysis at the data. Lot of issues. Some of this shit backfires on her. She gets these unknowns who use her to move up in the industry. Then once that wears off, they bail out.She used to fuck more recognizable bigger name celebs but they have women chasing after them. Higher likelihood they'll leave.These new guys they may kinda need her to use her for the money too. Sorta like opposite of rich guys do with younger girls.So fuckin sad a lot of this. haha. You can picture the dudes kissing her and pretending they love her.. Yeah sorta works in the start but they can't fake the honeymoon for too long eh.Something's fishy though.. why do none of them last past the 1 year point. Huge barrier. There's something about what happens in a relationship then. Sex becomes routine. They want the thrill of the chase with a new person.I don't think even Dr. Phil can help ya out there. hahaha. You're on your own with your issues. lol. I perhaps gave you a few pointers about problem areas, and noticeable trends in the stats. Ask yourself WHY, about it all, Paris. Could help you figure out what the problem is ;-) via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

0 notes

tabloidtoc · 4 years

Text

Globe, May 11

Cover: Meghan Markle’s divorce ultimatum to Prince Harry -- she forbids him to make peace with royals or she’ll take away his little boy Archie

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Owen Wilson holding tennis racquets, Olivia Wilde wearing a mask during a stroll, James Kyson works out

Page 3: Amy Poehler, Kate Hudson and baby Rani, Mr. T

Page 4: Scorned Meg Ryan has rebounded from her messy breakup with John Mellencamp straight into the arms of ex-lover Russell Crowe

Page 5: Lady Gaga is so googly-eyed over new love Michael Polansky that she’s tagged the tech tycoon to be her baby daddy

Page 6: Ellen DeGeneres has gone to pieces after her stomped-on staff savaged her as a boss from hell -- the nasty onslaught has left Ellen dubbed by many as the Queen of Mean barely able to sleep and crippled with anxiety

Page 7: Bill Cosby died during a massive stroke in prison but emergency surgery brought him back to life

Page 8: Cover Story -- Tormented Prince Harry’s desperate bid to make peace with the royal family spectacularly exploded in a divorce ultimatum from his diva wife Meghan Markle

Page 10: Alicia Silverstone says her 1997 turn as Batgirl became a hurtful experience when cruel critics dubbed her Fatgirl and she stopped loving acting for a very long time, The Voice is close to croaking as fierce feuding and inflated pay set to kill the show -- big-money musical mentors Blake Shelton and Kelly Clarkson and John Legend are being pushed to take pay cuts or take a hike

Page 11: Bruce Willis has no issues with wife Emma Heming even though he’s self-isolating in an odd-couple arrangement with ex-wife Demi Moore and their three adult daughters in Idaho

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- David Charvet juggles a load of laundry, furious Ricky Gervais isn’t joking when he rants about stinking-rich celebs whining about COVID-19 stay-at-home mandates like Sam Smith, Grey’s Anatomy star Caterina Scorsone’s new daughter was originally named Arwen but she changed her mind four months later and now calls the baby by her middle name Lucinda or Lucky for short, Naomi Campbell likes slipping into Elizabeth Taylor’s old kaftans

Page 13: Jillian Michaels shares a picnic with her galpal and a pup, Natalie Morales, Joel Kinnaman and girlfriend Kelly Gale, Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra started out on MTV’s 16 and Pregnant in 2009 broke and unwed but now after years of documenting their lives on the series Teen Mom OG the pair owe over $800,000 in tax debt

Page 14: Overprivileged Presley Gerber seemingly desperate for more attention debuted new tattoos -- the numbers 310 which is his crazy-rich parents ritzy area code and a gun on his hip bone because he’s such a Malibu gangster, Julianne Hough and husband Brooks Laich aren’t living under the same roof during the pandemic and she’s hunkering down with and going for walks with other men like handsome British actor Ben Barnes in LA while Brooks is stuck in Idaho with their husky, Fashion Verdict -- Brie Larson 10/10, Dakota Johnson 9/10, Taylor Swift 6/10, Selena Gomez 1/10

Page 16: Alex Trebek bares agony and buried secrets in new tell-all

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Dolly Parton, Kelly Ripa has revealed the secret to her sizzling sex life with husband Mark Consuelos, Kanye West has fessed up to battling the bottle and admits he used to start his day by belting back booze

Page 20: True Crime

Page 23: Power couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have brought their rocky 22-year marriage back from the brink, jealous Jennifer Aniston is ticked off at former Friends castmate Lisa Kudrow for muscling in on her friendship with Steve Carell -- Jen had a wonderful rapport with Steve working together on The Morning Show and Jen has always had a huge crush on Steve but now Lisa and Steve are working together on Space Force and Jen is not jumping for joy

Page 24: Hollywood’s Heftiest Stars -- Chrissy Metz, Jack Nicholson

Page 25: Gabourey Sidibe, George Wendt, William Shatner, Mariah Carey

Page 26: Melissa McCarthy, Jonah Hill, Carnie Wilson, Jorge Garcia, Kirstie Alley

Page 27: Lizzo, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood

Page 30: Health Report

Page 32: Reese Witherspoon says becoming a mother messed with her mental health, Brian Dennehy took a shocking secret to the grave -- he was an alcoholic who began guzzling right after the curtain went down

Page 33: Jackie Kennedy got steamed when her personal chef shared her recipes with Weight Watchers magazine in 1968 and fired Annemarie Huste for flapping her gums, Khloe Kardashian says she may borrow some sperm from ex Tristan Thompson to give their two-year-old daughter a full-blooded sibling, George Clooney won’t have to flush his plans for an outhouse at his English estate as the toilet was finally approved by local officials

Page 34: Martha Stewart has been tossing back booze during lockdown and worried pals are begging her to put a cork in it, Today co-host Jenna Bush Hager got to the root of her hair troubles while in quarantine by touching up her dye job on live TV

Page 37: Fictional TV physician Ellen Pompeo has attacked out of touch real-life TV doctors like Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz and Dr. Drew for their comments on the coronavirus and said they should not be doling out medical advice on TV

Page 38: Real Life

Page 40: Pining for the United States Matt Damon has been guzzling up a storm during his coronavirus quarantine in Dalkey a posh seaside suburb of Dublin where Bono lives, Tom Cruise thought he was a goner when he leaped off a 200-story skyscraper while filming Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol in 2011 and the movie stunt suddenly went terribly wrong

Page 42: Caitlyn Jenner is worth $100 million but she’s such a tightwad she makes housemate Sophia Hutchins sit in the dark to save on electricity and is now insisting Sophia pay half of the utility and grocery bills but she used to be a sugar mommy and Sophia is wondering what happened, Drew Barrymore said her feet grew three sizes after childbirth, Val Kilmer’s romantic riverside date with then ladylove Cindy Crawford almost ended with a crocodile attack in 1996 while at the African game reserve where he was filming Thee Ghost and the Darkness

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Religious leaders are supposed to care for their flocks but that idea seems lost of Louisiana preacher Tony Spell of the Life Tabernacle Church in Baton Rouge who urged his followers to fill up his church and even bused them in after strict social-distancing rules were put out to save lives from coronavirus

Page 45: Matthew McConaughey is living a separate life from his wife Camila Alves and their three kids -- he’s holed up in his luxury Airstream while they’re holed up in the family’s palatial mansion, after quitting RHONYC and crowing that the show’s viewership was sinking without her Bethenny Frankel is now fuming because show bigwigs insist everything’s dandy in her absence

Page 47: Bizarre But True

2 notes · View notes