#Also the Mad Max Fury Road reference wow

[transgothicgenre]

bleed out liveblogging

training montage: excellent as always. chorus is my favorite part mostly because the imagery of the other verses are discordant for me for some reason, but it still goes hard as fuck

mark on you: i think i actually only listened to this a few times before the album released and originally i only liked the chorus but the song as a whole is incredible. revenge songs my beloved

wage wars get rich die handsome: please release an instrumental/karaoke track of this one it goes so hard. it goes so hard even without the lyrics. i don't think i'm allowed to drive while listening to this one. the abrupt ending is so sexy tbh

extraction point: first new one yippee!!! i like how fast-paced it sounds especially juxtaposed with the calmness of the vocals. every time johnny boy mentions dreams in his lyrics that song gets +1 so this one is doing really great for me so far. loving the chorus. the vocals are quieter than the rest of the album has been so far which is throwing me off a little bit but i can vibe with it

bones don't rust: OH HOH HOH. the lyrics on this one immediately have me going ham. i didn't type anything else i was too busy listening to the song

first blood: reminds me of corsican mastiff stride. it's very upbeat and i'm grooving to it. there are a lot of references to things in this song that i don't understand but that's half of all tmg music so i'll just close my eyes and imagine what they mean and also check genius lyrics in a few days. "we worship nothing in the foxholes" reminds me of a poem! i will find it later

make you suffer: another revenge song let's fucking goooooo. i will have to listen a few times to figure out how to fit the second verse into the rest of the song but i understand on a subconscious level. AW YEAAAH another +1 for mentioning dreams. don't give up on revenge you always need to strive for it!!! adding this to the list of songs i'm not allowed to drive while listening to. oh my god the OUTRO. delicious

guys on every corner: why do you as a man have guys on every corner (original joke by yadriel(c) 2022). that aside the rhyming is really winning for me. big enjoyer of this song. it really reminds me of fight club which is a red flag if anyone else says it but don't worry guys i'm a weirdo. the last verse is decadent fuck yes

hostages: hey why is this one so long. ohhhh man it's good. i know each song in this album is telling the story of a mini action movie and whatnot but i think, excluding the fact that i haven't listened to the last 3 yet, that this one accomplishes that the best for the format. does that make sense? like the story it's telling is best told through a song and the song is the best vessel for telling the story. if i say it reminds me of die hard does bruce willis come out of the vents and kill me

need more bandages: oh DELIGHTFUL. i am already shouting the chorus while driving despite not being in a car at all. this one reminds me of tintin but like. the bad guys from tintin. y'know? i was really into tintin when i was younger. WHEN THE SHOVELS BREAK WE'VE STILL GOT OUR FINGERNAILS!!!!!! once again +1 for the dream. this one also reminds me of mad max fury road oddly enough. you're right mr goats we ARE going to need more bandages

incandescent ruins: i like the chorus. i have to admit i spent the majority of the time listening to this trying to parse the lyrics and their meaning. again this is one that i'll have to listen to a few times and get to know before i have more thoughts about it but it's very pleasant to listen to

bleed out: 30 seconds in and this is already . woagh. wow. he's gonna bleed out yknow? "every story needs a child...end up just like me" these lyrics are fucking insane. AND THE PAPER RUSTLING NOISES RIGHT AFTER? the g in mountain goats stands for genius. okay wow. this is already one of my top favorites from this album . once again it is 7 minutes long but i completely understand why it's 7 minutes long because it literally couldn't be not 7 minutes long. i love how the last song on albums always feels like a sledgehammer to the ribs. the mountain goats truly understand how to do it. the way jd's voice is cracking toward the end of the song is the cherry on top.

album thoughts as a whole: definitely going to convince my coworkers to play this tonight at work. pretty much all of the song titles are great and i'm a big fan. they really slayed!!!

[minaminokyoko]

Toy Story 4: A Spoilertastic Review

*huge sigh of relief* Disney/Pixar, y'all had me worried.

Truly. Honestly. Not that you guys aren't amazing, but the Toy Story films have a legacy that almost no other franchise period has: three perfect movies, and movies that improved with each sequel. Most of the time, trilogies can't pull that off. Sometimes you get three that are good, but there's a straggler in the bunch, like the original Star Wars trilogy or The Dark Knight saga. Like a lot of folks, I was sweating bullets when they announced TS4 because this is one of the only trilogies where each sequel was friggin' better than the last, and TS3, imo, might be the best Disney/Pixar film period. Honestly, it stands at the top of just animated films period, and so I was very nervous to think about trying for a fourth one.

I am very pleased to say TS4 is a worthy sequel. It's not empty, it's not lazy, it's great. I personally put it on the same level as the first movie. I do consider TS2 and TS3 to be better than this one, but not for a bad reason, simply because it's attempting something different from the previous films. This is another all-positive review for me; all I've got are nitpicks, no cons at all. Disney/Pixar did a great job creating what a friend of mine referred to as an epilogue story. That sounds about right to me. It's like there's a trilogy and an epilogue now to the Toy Story saga.

Overall Grade: A

Spoilers ahead.

-I really want to dive in to talk about the fact that while it might upset some people, this movie is about Woody, almost exclusively, and I actually like that a lot. I don't mind at all that this is a snapshot of dealing with change through Woody's perspective, and you know why? Man. Woody is a fucking great character. Really. To his core, he's a phenomenal, landmark, memorable character. I think as the years pass and people reevaluate what films will stand the test of time, animated or otherwise, people will realize that Woody is such a well-written, well-acted character. One of the things that I think got everyone ugly sobbing in TS3 was the way that Andy described Woody: "He'll never give up on you." That's it. That's why Woody is just such a charming character. He will do whatever it takes to do the right thing for the kids. Every time. No matter what it costs him. And that's why this movie took a big risk in breaking up the Toy Story family, but at the same time, it's giving Woody a path that allows him to do something he loves and that is important to him, and for him to be happy in the process. It's a very surprising and unique but realistic idea that Bonnie, while a great kid, wasn't the kid for Woody. But he cared so much for her that he wanted to make sure she got the right toy that will help her learn and grow. That's...fucking amazing, man. I got choked up. I really did. Woody's heart is so huge. And I love that this movie showed that he's been through some rough stuff and that it was time for him to be able to find his own happiness while still being able to help kids, because that's who he is. He's a leader. He cares to a fault. Woody is such a rich character and I'm really glad they got to focus on him and gave him a good send off. It's quite touching. I hate the idea of the gang breaking up, but the movie does an excellent job of explaining change. I like this motif. Things change. Something you always dreamt of might be different. Or things end and you have to move on and try something else. It's a great lesson for all of us to learn, and it took some serious courage to do that in a franchise so known for its ensemble cast and family. I dig it. I truly do.

-Bo and Woody had me all up in my feels. Oh, man. When she was taken...my fucking heart...oh, that hit me right in the feels. I love how they filmed the reunion, too, that the first time he saw her again they were both having to be inert at the time. That was so cleverly done, and it's so apparent how soft they are for each other. It's really sweet. I enjoyed getting to see their dynamic, even with things being strained between them. The hat thing gets me every time. I love nuance, and Bo pulling down his hat is just the cutest little gesture that sells the entire relationship. I enjoyed Bo getting to be active and frankly badass, because it's super cool to see a girl's toy everyone would think is too delicate to be played with be at the forefront of the action.

-I enjoyed Gabby being a sympathetic antagonist. That's awesome. I always applaud movies that can pull it off. It's easy to write a one note villain. It's much, much harder to write one who has a story and who has something that they want, and that the hero is standing in their way. I also think it's a GREAT lesson for kids growing up. Sometimes the thing you think you want isn't what it seems. There are going to be SO many moments in a kid's life where they've been dying to get something, and it's a big disappointment in the end, or they don't get it at all. Wow. Powerfully done. And the scene with the little lost girl damn near made me shed actual tears. That was nothing short of beautiful. Because that is what it's like for kids. Kids get scared, and sometimes the smallest thing encourages them. It hearkens back to what Woody did on Bonnie's first day, getting her the supplies to make Forky and getting her confidence and creativity up. Fuck, that melted my heart. Gabby's story was fantastic, and touching, and a really good use of an antagonist. I was very, very satisfied with how they handled it.

-Centering everything as one big chase scene, kind of Mad Max: Fury Road in a weird way, was a lot of fun. It kept you guessing and it kept things fresh. I also am really impressed that they managed to unnerve the unholy hell out of me with Gabbie and the puppets. I'm actually not scared of puppets, but the way that they moved was very, very creepy, and I would never have expected it from Toy Story. Nice job, guys.

-Forky is the right balance of being a naive, hapless character without being annoying. I was worried his antics would get old, but actually, no. I didn't hate him. I like that Woody was frustrated, but he didn't hate the little guy and he wasn't jealous of him. He did the right thing and he helped Forky understand what toys are all about, and it's very heartwarming.

-Duke Kaboom was such a treat. I'm really happy everyone is now on the Keanu boat, because I've been a stan for that man since the fucking 90's and it's so satisfying to see others join me. He really is a fun, sweet human being, and his character is delightfully over the top. I loved him. It worked really well with the rest of the film, and I am all about the Keanussance/Reevessance that's going on right now. Keep it up. You're breathtaking.

-Goodness me, I just need to note how gorgeous the effects are. I mean, it's Disney/Pixar, it's always gorgeous, but for instance, the rain sequence in the beginning was incredible. That water...man...they are so exceptional at details and realism all while still creating their own look. Bravo, man.

-The payoff of the little guy getting his high five finally was fucking adorable. This is what makes me love Disney/Pixar so much, too. It's the little things that put a smile on your face. How cute.

Nitpicks:

-Key and Peele were annoying. There. I said it. I fucking hate them both, and they were annoying. But thank God, they were more cameo characters than main leads. Throw them both in the trash, though. Ugh.

-I don't like that Gabby needing to switch out the voice box had zero consequences. That was...odd. And kind of like cheating. I got really excited when Woody allowed it to happen so he could get Forky back, but then nothing bad happened. I thought that maybe Woody's voice would be damaged, go in and out, or he'd be mute, and it would show what a sacrifice he made for Bonnie. Nope. It had no negative consequences, so it almost makes me wonder why they did that. It ended up a moot point, and invalidated the conflict.

-I'm waffling on how I feel about Bonnie just forgetting about Woody entirely. Mind you, this is realistic. This is how small kids work. They move abruptly and often without explanation. But thematically, I sort of wanted her to notice him gone, if only to tie off how I felt about how far Woody was willing to go to make her happy. But at the same time, that's kids for you. Things happen fast. She's going to be happy, and so will the rest of the toys, and that's the most important thing in the end.

-I did actually want a longer scene of just Woody and Bo together, catching up. I don't feel robbed, but I was letdown because I wanted to know more about them since they seem to truly click and feel strongly for one another. I'd have liked to see them just sit and talk for a moment, but the film had too much urgency, so unfortunately we had to keep moving.

I only just got home, so I don't know if other reviews are out, but let me go ahead and say that if anyone is shitting on this film, I guarantee you it's people who don't like change. This film is different and it takes risks and in the end, it is about Woody and not the rest of the toys, so it is going to step on some toes. However, it has earned a spot on the shelf next to the other movies. Trust me, its heart is in the right place and it's still keeping our legacy of films on par with each other. I don't feel that it takes anything away from them, and is simply a send off to a character I think will stand the test of time as one of the greats. I'm glad it was just as worthy as I hoped it would be.

[thenerdparty]

Aquaman Review by Tristan Riddell

I want the record to show that I am not a DCEU "hater" nor am I someone who thinks Marvel is the only way to go. I think there is enough room in the cinema for Marvel, DC, serious superheroes, fun superheroes, and everything in between. I thought Man of Steel was fine but uninspiring, I loved Batman v. Superman Ultimate Edition, Wonder Woman was good but had a mess of a third act, Suicide Squad had so much potential but squandered it, and Justice League? Well, everyone got screwed on that one. All that being said, Aquaman is at the very bottom of that list.

I didn't see this in the theater because Jason Mamoa's Aquaman never wowed me and the trailers did nothing for me. I don't find CGI bombardment entertaining and I knew this was going to be over the top. I'm not harping on CGI, it can be used well to enhance the story like with Mad Max: Fury Road, it can be integrated seamlessly like in modern David Fincher films, and it can be used effectively ala Star Trek and Star Wars. You can have entire CGI worlds and movies that service your story, such as Tron: Legacy or Avatar, but when the quality is inconsistent and it just becomes noise then you are dipping into Transformer Franchise territory. From the trailers of Aquaman, I could tell that it was going to be one long version or multiple versions of the final CGI fight between Black Panther and Killmonger. Sadly, I was correct.

On top of some it looking like a PlayStation 2 game, there were scenes that had no business being greenscreen but were and it took you out of the film. There was a training scene on the beach and no background was real. You're telling me that the filmmakers couldn't drive to the beach, go to an actual dock or film on an actual boat for a movie called Aquaman?  Sidenote: another horrible distraction was the mismatched tone of the score and some of the worst popular music choices I've ever heard in a major motion picture. Also, Temeura Morrison and Nicole Kidman's de-aging looked like they both had botched plastic surgery. This is one area where Marvel remains king among superhero films. However, some aspects were well done: the Trench sequence, Atlantis in general, and the amazing attention to detail with underwater hair. Although I shouldn't have been distracted by all of this while I was watching, I should be immersed by the story. There is a reason this made so much money internationally. The script and dialogue were not even secondary to the visuals. An international audience can go see a spectacle and not worry about reading too many subtitles or hear the horrible delivery. They can relax their mind and watch the underwater neon. Sadly, even though I knew I would have to switch off my higher brain functions, it still wasn't enough.

Story is always king, just like Aquaman at the end of the film. However, this story was more akin to a stable boy than actual royalty. First off, the writing was just pathetic in its myriad of attempts of cohesion. It wasn't funny, it was trying to be funny. It wasn't clever, it was trying to be clever. One example that is minor to the story but sticks out like a sore thumb so intensely it needs to be discussed involves Aquaman and Mera taking refuge in the mouth of a whale. Aquaman makes a passing Pinocchio reference that Mera doesn't understand. The movie moves on except when it doesn't. They are at their next location, horrible music plays, and Mera entertains a little Italian girl with dancing water. Then FOR NO REASON AT ALL the little girl hands Mera a book about Pinnochio and then walks away. Mera now understands Aquaman's reference. That one exchange is the story in a nutshell. A series of unnecessary setups and then self-imposed deliveries with little to no motivation. We see our secondary antagonist murder innocent people and then the movie frames his situation as if we are supposed to feel bad for him and his father. Willem Dafoe trains Arthur after his mother leaves him but then the movie doesn't explain how they met or why he is truly there. Does his father know? Did his mother send Dafoe? Did Dafoe just pop out of the ocean one day and say welcome to Aquaman school? The audience doesn't know, so we're just supposed to go with it and that happens too much. I'm all for a healthy suspension of disbelief, it's a superhero film after all, but don't make me constantly ask who, what, where, when, and why?

You can tell that most of the actors were trying to salvage a poor script by leaning into the dramatic skid but Jason Momoa didn't get the memo and plays it like a children's game show host. He doesn't actually deliver that much dialogue in this movie but when he does the tone is usually opposite of what the scene calls for. I think this mentality is a holdover from the overcorrection in the wake of BVS. The public had such a distaste for the tonality of BVS that it caused the mess that was the Justice League rewrites. That script's brighter sensibility feels tacked on like a word doc with Find and Replace.

It is hard to handle origin stories with any kind of ingenuity today due to the modern superhero audience being inundated with new heroes, old heroes, and countless reboots. They've been done to death so hard that Uncle Ben didn't even get a mention in Spider-Man: Homecoming. Since we've already been introduced to Aquaman, the film chose to intersperse some of the histories via flashback. This was particularly well done visually because the camerawork acted as a natural transition from present day to past. While the setup to these didn't always work, I believe the execution was interesting. For instance, Mera and Aquaman were standing on a ledge about to jump into the ocean and he was reminded of a time when his mentor taught him how to swim at that very spot. The camera encircles them and as it swings we see a younger Aquaman and his mentor. The camera continues to swing and we're back to present day. They jump but it is the younger version we see under the water. It is this type of structure and editing where the film excels. Outside of these moments, the plot was driven mainly by a shocking amount of explosions that were a surprise to the characters as well as the audience. It made me a little gun shy whenever there was a quiet moment because I kept wincing thinking we were going to be thrown back into the thick of it at any second and not be allowed to breathe.

Overall, this film just doesn't work. The pacing is haphazard, the acting is third tier even with top tier actors, the script needed to be completely rewritten, and the above water scenes needed a much more practical approach. Aquaman made more money than any other DCEU movie by $273 million more dollars. In terms of domestic gross, it was beaten only by the cultural phenomenon that is Wonder Woman. It clearly connected and found its audience. That means it's a huge success and it should be applauded for that. It has joined the ranks of some of the biggest box office global hits of all time. Such movies as Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon, Finding Dory, Burton's Alice in Wonderland, 2017's Beauty and the Beast, Zootopia, and Spider-Man 3. Let this be a sober reminder that success does not always translate into quality.

2 stars

[yukipri]

INFERNO: YURI NO ICE - MASTERPOST

A Yuri!!! on Ice AU *No, the title is not a typo

This is the Masterpost for my Inferno: Yuri No Ice AU.

My update schedule and all relevant links will be attached to this post beneath the cut. Please check here and the #Inferno:YuriNoIce tag for updates! You can also check out my general YOI Art Masterpost for a list of all of my YOI works not limited to this AU.

CLICK HERE FOR THE MOST UPDATED VERSION OF THIS POST

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An original post-apocalyptic/dystopian/sci-fi AU inspired in part by Guang-Hong’s FS, The Inferno. Inspired by and will pay homage to many, many other media as well, including but not limited to Mad Max: Fury Road, and Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind, and Star Wars.

WARNINGS for this AU as a whole, though not this specific post: LOTS OF BLOOD, EXTREME VIOLENCE, CHARACTER DEATH, world-appropriate OOC-ness, vampires(?), zombies(?), mutant monsters, post apocalyptic setting, dystopian world, sci-fi, fantasy, mafia/secret agent/spy aesthetic, original world with too complex explanations, unsanitary consumption of blood, inappropriate use of ice skating blades, a lotta guns, a lotta swords, a lotta muscles, global warming, pollution, overthrowing the government, too many references and crossovers to count, wow i never expected these things together

~~

Like this post? Interested in supporting the artist and encouraging the creation of more similar works? Please consider purchasing the artist a coffee! Because Tumblr hides all external links, you can find the link HERE!

~~

TO THE LINKS! vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

KEY:

[COM] - Comic

[ILL] - Illustration

[TXT] - Text headcanons

*All items with set dates will more or less be posted when they are scheduled, and changes will be updated on this post. Posts still listed as “TBA” are subject to change, but are still relatively concretely in the works.

*REGARDING SHIPS: This whole AU can be viewed as shippy or as non shippy as you like. Keep in mind that this is a “vampire” AU of sorts and expect some eroticism. (Note that the creator ships Everyone x Yuuri so hints of that if you choose to see them ^ ^;)

MAIN STORY LINE (in order they should be read in):

-[ILL] [TXT] Synopsis/Introduction Post

-[COM] PROGRAM: 00 Prologue - Rebellions are Built on Hope

-[COM] PROGRAM: 01 The Inferno

-[COM] PROGRAM: 02 Aria: Stammi vicino, non te ne andare PART I - Posting Date TBA

-[COM] PROGRAM: 02 Aria: Stammi vicino, non te ne andare PART II - Posting Date TBA

SUPPLEMENTAL CANON MATERIAL:

-[COM] [TXT] Seung-Gil’s medical notes on the Blades - TBA

CREATOR NOTES:

-[ILL] [TXT] Costume Sheet - Yuuri Katsuki - TBA

-[ILL] [TXT] Costume Sheet - Georgi Popovich and the Dome Guards - TBA

-[ILL] [TXT] Costume Sheet - Guang-Hong Ji - TBA

-[ILL] [TXT] Costume Sheet - Leo de la Iglesia - TBA

-[ILL] [TXT] Costume Sheet - Phichit Chulanont - TBA

-[ILL] [TXT] Costume Sheet - Young! Victor Nikiforov - TBA

-[ILL] [TXT] Worldbuilding Sheet - On the Dome, the Metropolis, Yuutopia, and the Inferno - TBA

ILLUSTRATIONS:

-[ILL] INFERNO: YURI NO ICE, Color Variation Set

-[ILL] PROGRAM:01 Promo, Yuri Katsuki - The Heart

PREVIEWS:

[ILL] PREVIEW Program:01, Happy B-Day Georgi!

[ILL] PREVIEW Program:01, Happy B-Day Guang-Hong!

[ILL] PREVIEW Program:01, Third preview

[ILL] PREVIEW Program:02, first preview

[waitllist]

tagged for 11 questions by the graceful @becky-jpg!! everything is under el read more 

1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people (or however many you want)

let’s go

1. What’s a film that is super significant to you?

mad max: fury road is my favourite film in the wooorld! i could watch it forever. and also kung fu panda (i’m not kidding that’s a very good film🐼)

2. If you could live in one book’s universe for a week, which book would it be?

depends if i can still technically die......i’d love to try my hand at a zombie apocalypse to see if i could last a week

3. How do you start a conversation with a stranger?

(with great difficulty) i’d probably ask them about themselves, their day, depends on the context  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4. What’s the strangest thing you’ve eaten?

escargot (5/10) or sheep liver (3/10) 

5. Have you ever disappointed yourself? If so, how?

oohhhh yyeeeeaaahh

6. What’s something you’re really proud of?

my beautiful wall decorations and posters. also my wow blog exarch--yrel 

7. What’s your biggest regret?

there’s a lot of good people i wish i was better friends with, and some people i wish i wasn’t (i’m referring to someone who doesn’t have a tumblr, fret not my dudes)

8. How do you think people remember you?

tall, a bit weird, not much to say, or a number #1 eu comedic/gaming tank extraordinaire. there’s not much in between.

9. Do you believe in an afterlife of any sort?

nop

10. What’s your very first memory?

the earliest thing i can remember 1st person is being about 6 and putting play-doh in my mouth

11. On a scale of 1 -10, how much of a bitch is Theresa May lol

10 ez can she leave now please, she’s falling apart😰

my questions are:

1. if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life, what would it be?

2. does your phone ever get scratched/cracked?

3. favourite number?

4. sci-fi or fantasy?

5. what do you consider your best talent?

6. what was the last text/message you sent?

7. how did you meet your best friend(s)?

8. describe yourself in exactly ten words

9. if you could visit one place in the world for a week, where would you go?

10. what would you do with £100,000?

11. favourite mythical creature?

i’m gonna tag @snibsy @systemsbuzzing @plattkaefer @sinder1998 if you wannaaa! and any of you lovely folks that follow me who i should talk to more often 

[marvelousmoviemarvelthon-blog]

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2

Wow am I torn on this one… on the one hand I loved the first Guardians movie, hailed it as what the new Star Wars should have been (the prequels, the Force Awakens is a very good flick), etc, etc. What we get in the sequel is the closest any director has, been allowed by Marvel, to put out a movie that is a singular, unaltered vision. I should be hailing this as the greatest MCU property yet. But I’m not, for me, the movie was kind of a bloated mess…

Ok, back up… on second viewing, it wasn’t as bad as I am making out. Sequences that seemed twice as long in the cinema weren’t nearly as excruciating at home, and certain main characters didn’t seem as much asshole-y as before. But, yeah, overall the movie suffers because of this.

It may be because I’m getting older now, but I notice that I appreciate movies that either feel less than their running time or are themselves, short. Mad Max: Fury Road felt short because it trimmed all the fat, same with The Raid: Redemption, even old favourites like Jurassic Park used a chugging story and intensity to make them feel shorter than their actual lengths. On the other hand, I’m never going to complain when a movie slows down to benefit character development or to let the audience just hang out in a universe, we loved Frances Ha and Inside Llewellyn Davis, and hell, Lost in Translation is in my top 5 favourite movies and that is essentially about nothing but characters hanging out. Recently, Blade Runner 2049 impressed with its confidence in just letting the audience sit and soak in the beauty and intensity of its world.

However, in Guardians 2, these moments contribute to both characters and the film’s, not to mention to rinse all the potential comedy out of the scenes as possible. But they rarely feel like they contribute anything beyond stretching out the joke. And look, I’m not trying to say that Guardians 2 3must compare to any of the movies I have just mentioned, I think all movies that feature superfluous scenes should never make them feel like wasted time, but when it gets to a point where we are watching a 6-minute-long scene of Rocket the Racoon foil random goons in a forest, or Yondu spending a further 5 minutes killing similarly homogeneous goons. Or, most frustratingly, watching Groot endlessly retrieving the wrong items when tasked to collect Yondu’s special headpiece, which is another 5 minutes that could’ve been shortened without hurting the movie’s comedic drive.

On that note, I think this movie has a bit of a character problem. It is obvious that the makers had a plan to make the relationships between Peter Quill/Ego/Yondu, and Gamora/Nebula the driving force of the story (which I will get back to later). However, this seems to have been at the expense of the other core characters, where, to get the main players to the points needed to move their narratives forward, the selfishness/stupidity/tactless-ness of the rest have been turned up to 11.

Again, caveat, I don’t mind watching characters who are unlikeable (Inside Llewellyn Davis comes to mind again), but this works best when the horrible decisions of the characters takes them to places where their unlikability or selfishness is turned back on them and lessons are learned (or arcs are completed), think of Scrooge in the Christmas Carol or even Tony Stark in the first Iron Man.  However, Rocket, Groot and, to a much lesser extent, Drax act in ways that don’t make me completely behind them a lot of the time. Rocket kicks off the story by stealing a battery from the Sovereign (a completely selfish act that contradicts his development in the previous movie) and then spends the rest of the movie generally being an asshole to the rest of his friends, without much of a justifiable redemption at the end. Groot seems like a completely different character from the previous film, gone is the slightly dense yet competent adult with a heart of gold, he is now an asinine, bratty child who seems to actively work against the goals of the protagonists. Drax is not as poorly affected by this, he just has his obliviousness and tactlessness turned up a bit too high, although he gets some nice scenes with newcomer character, Mantis.

I dunno, this may work for other people, but it really gets under my skin to be watching seemingly different characters from the previous movie act in ways that push them too far from their characterisations…

On the other side of this coin however, is the fantastic work done with Peter, Ego and Yondu. At times these MCU movies can feel a bit too much like a well-oiled machine, with little feeling or emotion involved. But, these Guardian’s movies can wring some good feelings out of its stories. The first movie told a tale of a team of hero’s coming together (at times) better than the Avengers movie did. In the sequel, Yondu and Peter’s relationship is tested and explored via the intrusion of Ego into their world. In an industry where the majority of superhero characters are driven by the loss/failures of their parents and guardians, its great to see a movie that deal with parental figures being both lost and failures that doesn’t then drive don’t Peter Quill to becoming a virtuous, avenging character. His character is already established, the actions of his parental figures don’t change him completely, they just push him to a new understanding of them and himself. That’s some great character work right there, its also simple and somewhat subtle, which is something these MCU films need more of…

To a lesser extent, the Gamora/Nebula relationship also hits some good notes with multiple double-crosses and a sort-of reconciliation that steps towards being something adult. However, the issues from the previous movie carries over her, where Gamora’s and Nebula’s enmity stems from the way their father treated them, but this has only been told to us…

So, there you go, my very mixed thoughts on the second movie, as much as I liked the first one, I have t admit to this one being a bit of a disappointment. One thing I will say about it is that the move truly a singular vision. None of the goofy, off-the-wall humour, eclectic soundtrack choices, colourful visuals or effecting character arcs would have happened if this was more of a studio meddled film. And I’m very happy about that. The success of the first Guardians of the Galaxy (and the reduced commerciality of the characters, I’m sure) meant the studio was willing to let writer/director James Gunn create the vision he wanted, even if it was somewhat disappointing, this is definitely the way I want all movies to go. Not profit-led, but creator-led…

The Super-Marvel-O-Score                We gave Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 a score of 81/100 (Jen seriously upvoted me on this one…)

Next Time                            I try something a little different by comparing Spiderman: Homecoming to its forbear (and possibly the best superhero movie ever made) Sam Raimi’s Spiderman 2, to understand how artistic vision can make a classic character like Spiderman more interesting a resonant. Lets see how that one goes…

Stray Thoughts

-        Speaking of comedy, it seems that this is the movie where the MCU movies officially switched gears from being action driven with some comedy to full on comedy/action driven. Is there going to be some tonal whiplash when we get to the Infinity War movies I wonder?

 -         I really liked seeing the Cliffhanger reunion with Sylvester Stallone and Michael Rooker, I would’ve loved it if they could’ve somehow got John Lithgow in there too.

 -         On the other hand, there was a potential Tango and Cash reunion that didn’t happen!

 -         This was the one of the few times where the future big bad in the post credits sequence (Adam??) were we didn’t know anything about the reference being set up…

  -         I would love to see a full movie of Stakar’s (Stallone) original Guardians, including Charlie-27 (Ving Rhames), Starhawk (Michelle Yeoh), Martinex (Michael Rosenbaum, the greatest Flash), Mainframe (voiced by Miley Cyrus) and Krugarr.

 -         I know its both corny-as-hell and ironised-out-of-existence, but I love the Guardians Inferno song by David Hasselhoff (and Marvel Studios). I appreciate the commitment this film series has to its 70’s/80’s aesthetics and the fourth wall breaking craziness of the song video…

[fadingfartconnoisseur]

Finland in the Summer: Quirky, Isolated, and Pretty

One question I get asked on a daily basis is, “So, what’s your favorite place?” I’m not a fan of having to answer that question constantly, but I understand why people ask me, so I have a quick go-to response: “My favorite countries are Croatia, Italy, South Africa, Thailand, and Japan.”

But that list is incomplete. It says nothing about how I feel about Finland.

A few years ago, I worked with Visit Finland to cover the Kuhmo Chamber Music Festival. It was my first trip to the country and I was struck by how much I connected with Finland as a whole.

What I love so much about Finland is that I feel like I understand it on an intimate level. I appreciate the quiet of its residents, how they choose their words carefully, their tendency not to make a spectacle, their outdoorsiness and athleticism, their penchant for bright colors, coffee, and Fazer chocolate.

And there’s also how well the Finns take care of their fellow residents, whether it’s a prison system that actually rehabilitates offenders, universal healthcare and free education, or the fact that everyone with a child gets 150 euros per month from the government. What I would give to have a Finnish system in the United States.

My friends at Visit Finland recently got in touch and asked if I’d like to come back for another summer trip. My instant reply: “Can I come for the Air Guitar World Championships?”

Yes, the Air Guitar World Championships. I’ve wanted to go to this event long before my blog even existed, and I knew it took place in August. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. (Visit Finland: “Of course! I don’t think we’ll be able to get you on stage, though.” Me: “THAT’S OKAY! I JUST WANT TO WATCH!”)

Löyly

It was at the championships that I learned my new favorite Finish word: löyly. It means the steam that rises from the rocks in the sauna.

It might seem like a strange word to define, but trust me — sauna is LIFE in Finland. Every Finnish home has a sauna. It’s an integral part of health, socialization, and routine. While Finnish culture has so many nuances that are hard for an outsider to identify, you can’t doubt the great influence of the sauna.

There were two hosts at the Air Guitar World Championships, a Finn speaking Finnish and a American speaking English, and the American kept repeating “löyly” over and over, his mouth twisting around the challenging vowels, as the Finns laughed. While löyly refers to the steam, in this context, it means to crank up the intensity. Imagine yelling, “Throw some more water on the rocks, man! We want to get it steamy up in here!”

If the Danes are all about hygge (coziness and bonding) and the Swedes are all about lagom (balance and egalitarianism), then the Finns are all about löyly. We need to get this to become a global thing!

Part I: Air Guitar World Championships in Oulu

Every August, air guitarists converge on a small city on the Arctic Circle with one goal in mind: to be declared the world champion. Contestants from around the world enter local competitions representing their countries; there’s also a bonus Dark Horse competition the night before the finals.

On the night of the finals, each competitor performs a one-minute song of his or her choice. From that group, 10 finalists are chosen and they each perform to the same song. A panel of judges scores the contestants.

Above is a compilation of my Instagram Stories from the championships — this is a great three-minute video of 15-second clips throughout the day and it showcases several of the best performers! I hope you watch it and enjoy it!

One of my favorites was the Jinja Assassin — a crazy Australian who rocked the stage and tied for second place! He was so intense — I thought he was going to win, to be honest.

Another one of the best and most expressive performers was Sho-Sho from Japan, who performed in full sumo wear. I was shocked to learn that he was only 15 years old!

This was a very male-dominated event, but there were two superstar female performers who made the finals: above is the Phoenix from Canada, whose look was Mad Max: Fury Road crossed with a Day of the Dead skeleton.

And here’s a hilarious offbeat performance — Fran Chopin, who performed a French routine, including baguettes and a bicycle, to “Foux de Fafa” by Flight of the Conchords. I’m so glad I got a full video of his routine!

The winner was an American named Airistotle, who actually won for the second year in a row.

Believe it or not, the festival wasn’t even my favorite part of the night — the after-parties were! After the championship, we converged on a variety of bars around the city. First a little dive bar where everyone sang karaoke, including a rousing rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” The schnapps flowed, as did the beers, and eventually we moved on to a dance club. (Want to know where the after-parties are? Ask around next year!)

Also, remember how I said this was a male-dominated event? Between you and me…if you’re a single straight female, you can do extremely well at these after-parties.

I would SO love to return to this festival next year! It’s one of my favorite quirky festivals I’ve ever been to and the people were so awesome! It was big enough to be well organized but small enough to get to know the participants. Oh, what a great time!

Part II: Blissful Isolation at Jarvisydan

If there’s anything the Finns excel at that Americans could stand to do better, it’s the art of unplugging from the world. Preferably somewhere on a lake with a sauna.

So the morning after partying until 5:00 AM, having slept approximately five hours in the past 72 hours, I picked up a rental car and drove five and a half hours southeast. (Many thanks to coffee and the Hamilton soundtrack; I could not have survived that drive without either.)

Four hours in, I stopped in the city of Kuopio to go to the top of the Puijo Tower — a tower with outstanding views over the countryside. It was the perfect pit stop.

My final destination was the Hotel and Spa Järvisydän in Porosalmi on the shores of Lake Saimaa in eastern Finland, not far from the town of Savonlinna. This is part of Finland’s Lakeland region, not far from the Russian boarder, a stretch of land so streaked with lakes that it looks more like an archipelago than the mainland.

This resort has an incredible history. It’s been operated as a guesthouse continuously since 1658. SINCE 1658! Owner Markus Heiskanen is an eleventh generation hospitality employee. ELEVEN GENERATIONS OF CONTINUOUS HOSPITALITY WITH NO DEVIATION IN THE BLOODLINE. Let that sink in.

That’s the front desk. See that boat? Markus found it. (How does one “find” a boat of that size…)

While I didn’t meet Markus, I spent my time with his wife Tanya, who embodies everything a hospitality worker should be: warm and welcoming but giving you your own space; knowledgeable and passionate about the region; thoughtful enough to surprise you with a bag of Fazer chocolate after she hears how much you love it.

Järvisydän has a variety of activities in which you can take part. Tanya took me on a boat ride to some of the surrounding sites.

While many Finns choose to spend their holidays relaxing in cottages on the lake, some people are brave enough to live there year-round, spending most of their lives in solitude.

“How do they get their food?” I asked.

“They take a boat in the summer and a sledge in the winter.”

Wow.

Our destination was Laattaansaari National Park, which is entirely on an island. This island is tiny but covered in hiking trails. (On a more private note, it kills me that whenever I walk through a dense green forest like this, I think, “Wow, the Twilight vampires totally could have lived here.)

Is that not the most adorable outhouse you’ve ever seen? It has a HEART!

Next up, we visited the nearby village of Oravi.

What surprised me the most that there was a Thai restaurant in that tiny town! One of the local men is married to a Thai woman, and she started a Thai restaurant that features local Finnish ingredients from the lake, like pike perch. Can you imagine what it must be like to leave somewhere like Thailand and come to somewhere like Oravi?

By that point the chill was setting in and we turned the boat back to Järvisydän.

The rest of the afternoon was all about the sauna — and spa. While any self-respecting hotel in Finland will have a sauna for guests, Järvisydän has one of the largest and most insane spas I’ve ever experienced. (Spa image courtesy of the resort.)

Want to relax? There’s a steam room. A Turkish-style hammam. A dark room where you get sprayed with different temperatures of water in several directions as chirping birds echo above you. A room filled with coarse salt where you’re encouraged to breathe deeply. A heated yoga room. A swimming pool, and if you wanted to do the Finnish thing, you could go outside to jump in the lake before heading back inside. (I did not do the Finnish thing.)

And finally, a traditional Finnish cedar sauna, scented like fresh wood. I relaxed into the intoxicating air and felt warmer than I had ever been before. And then a teenager came in and offered me a bucket filled with water to create more löyly, more steam on the rocks.

I later learned that the bucket-wielding young man was Markus’s son, Tanya’s stepson: the twelfth generation of hospitality.

My cabin was the perfect place to relax in private. I even had my own private sauna in the bathroom!

Also — don’t bring your iPhone into a Finnish sauna. That sounds like very basic knowledge, but, well, I thought it would be cool to do a Facebook Live from my private sauna, and my iPhone overheated and nearly died. Please don’t do that. In this case, löyly nearly cost me 800 bucks.

Overall, Järvisydän is such a special place, and I’m so glad I got to spend two nights relaxing in this resort. Going into a quiet nature environment was like therapy for my nonstop New York life and mind that never stops overthinking. I was sad to leave and I hope to go back in the future.

Part III: Perfect Photos in Porvoo

For my final destination on this summer trip to Finland, I wanted to visit somewhere photogenic. Then it hit me — why not Porvoo? Some of my friends had been before and I knew from them that it was a beautiful city just a short bus ride from Helsinki. From Järvisydän it took me three and a half hours of driving.

Right away it reminded me so much of Rauma, my favorite place in Finland. Rauma is a seaside city with a UNESCO World Heritage-listed wooden old town filled with brightly painted buildings. I visited Rauma in 2014 with moderate expectations and it blew my mind.

Porvoo is much smaller than Rauma, but it had so much of the same beauty. Just look at it.

Porvoo is most famous for its line of little red cottages on the river. If you see any image of this city, it’s likely similar to one of my shots below!

And I got to stay in one of the little red cottages! My guesthouse, Ida Maria B&B, has several properties throughout Old Porvoo — including apartments in the famed cottages themselves. I had a wonderful house to myself with an old-fashioned stove (and a modern kitchen and bathroom) downstairs and a simple bedroom loft upstairs.

My final activity was Deep Forest Yoga — a personalized session in the forest. My teacher, Anu, took me on a short walk from the center of Porvoo to the city’s small forest. Here we would do a gentle fitness session.

Finns are incredibly active and outdoorsy, and Anu is no exception. She started her business because she believes in the curative properties of the forest. In fact, there’s scientific evidence to back her up — publicized by Finns, of course!

Anu told me that whenever she has a fever, she takes a few long walks in the forest and it helps her recover much faster than if she were relying on medicine alone.

This session reminded me of the difference between fitness in America and virtually everywhere else. In America it’s all about packing in the most intense routine into the shortest time frame possible — think HIIT, spinning, Tabata, Crossfit. In countries like Finland, it’s more about gentle exercise on a far-more-frequent basis. Exercise is a way of life, not an event you schedule.

We stretched. We did yoga moves. We breathed in the fresh forest air. Anu led me in a guided meditation. And by the time we finished, I believed in the power of the forest as well.

From that point, I returned to Helsinki to spend time with local friends before journeying on to Belarus.

The Takeaway

This trip solidified my love for Finland even more. I felt like my first trip was about getting to know the country during the summer; this second trip was about sinking into it more deeply.

I should mention that one thing disappointed me this time around — the weather. Last time I visited Finland in the summer, it was July and the weather was so warm that I was skinny-dipping in velvety lakes under the midnight sun. On this trip, by contrast, I was shivering in freezing rain in Oulu; I was bundled up in multiple coats at Järvisydän.

My Finnish friends told me that July tends to be warmer than August in general, but this was also an exceptionally chilly year. It just goes to show that you can’t rely on weather in any of the Nordic nations. If you luck out and get sunshine and warmth, consider it a bonus, not the standard.

No matter whether you visit Finland during a toasty summer or a chillier season, you’ll be spending time in a sauna. Take that time to watch the steam rise off the rocks and appreciate life’s simple pleasures, and you’ll be closer to learning what löyly is all about.

READ NEXT: A Magical Journey Through Rauma, Finland

Essential Info: The Air Guitar World Championships take place in late August each year and information on the next festival, including how to compete, can be found here. In Oulu I stayed at the Scandic Oulu, a very good and well-situated mid-range hotel that I recommend. Rates from $138. Find deals on hotels in Oulu here.

Visiting the Puijo Tower in Kuopio costs 6 EUR ($7) for adults and 3 EUR ($3.50) for children. There is a restaurant as well as a cafe on top.

My stay at Hotel and Spa Järvisydän was wonderful from start to finish. Rates from 137 EUR ($161), and do check out their promotions page for great deals that offer even more, like meals and massages, for much less than booking them a la carte. If you go, please say hi to Tanya for me.

In Porvoo I stayed at Ida Maria B&B, a wonderful guesthouse with breakfast. It was fun staying in a little red cottage. Rates from $90. While you could easily visit Porvoo as a day trip from Helsinki, I preferred staying one night — I found the atmosphere more peaceful and the light more luscious after all the day trippers had left. Find deals on hotels in Porvoo here.

Anu offers 90-minute Deep Forest Yoga, Deep Forest Relaxation, and Deep Forest Dance classes through her company, Ikimetsan Jooga. Contact her at anu [at] ikimetsanjooga.fi for rates.

I finished my time in Finland with a few days in Helsinki, staying at the Hotel Cumulus City Kaisaniemi, a terrific mid-range hotel located in the heart of the city, steps from the train station. Rates from $104. In the past I stayed at the Hotel Rivoli Jardin, which is a bit more upscale and expensive but so pretty and so nice, and in an even more central location. Rates from $149. Find deals on hotels in Helsinki here.

Be sure not to visit Finland without travel insurance. Whether you get appendicitis and need to be hospitalized, or your phone gets stolen, or an injury means you need to cancel all or part of your trip, travel insurance will help you in your time of need. I use and recommend World Nomads as travel insurance for trips to Finland.

Many thanks to Visit Finland for hosting me in full on this trip, excluding my time in Helsinki, which I paid out of pocket. All opinions, as always, are my own.

Have you been to Finland? Or is it your kind of place?

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