#Always; The Black Swan Moves On The Lake || IC

[nostomannia]

Unprompted || Anonymous

Valentines idea: Sol gets a bow and arrow and tries to deliver the valentines card via arrow shot, like how some messengers do. But she fucks up and just ends up shooting people by accident instead.

"Accident"

[mcufan72]

Cold winter days, a lonely woman on a bench, a stranger in the park...

An Encounter in Winter ❄️

Loki and female reader (18+)

Chapter 10

Chapter 9

18+/adult themes/talking/ flirting/ slow burn/fluff/angst/smut

Warnings: fluff, a small quarrel, smut (m receiving), two lovers some time apart and some angst...

At the end of January, you moved to Stark Tower and as one might expect you moved into Loki's apartment. Now it was yours, your shared apartment. You have been hesitant to do it because you neither wanted to invade his privacy too soon nor you wanted to rush things. But you two were too clingy and in love with each other so living together and sharing the apartment felt natural right from the beginning as if it had never been different. And it wasn't that Loki wouldn't allow you to bring your personality and style into your now-shared rooms.

You didn't change much in the apartment, you loved Loki's Asgardian style of living and his furnishings. You just added a few candles in jars and placed them in the rooms, and some of your small pillows in vintage style adorned the cuddly sofa. On the table in the living room was always a vase with a bouquet of your favourite green roses and Loki made sure they were always fresh. He even mounted a TV on the wall and he enjoyed watching series, movies and documentaries together with you.

Loki also insisted that you add your books to his book wall and he gave you a big amount of space in his walk-in closet. He loved to see your lingerie next to his briefs and boxers. Of course, he did and sometimes he picked something of your lingerie for you so you could put it on for him. He wanted to integrate you completely into his life. You were a part of him as much as he was a part of you and after a very long time, you now had a feeling of family life again. You had hated to live alone and so did Loki.

You also felt extremely comfortable in your new job, you had great teammates in the lab and Bruce was the best supervisor and laboratory manager you had ever had. He thought a great deal of you and entrusted you with a high level of responsibility. To work together with him was a great joy and you learned many new things, especially about creatures from outer space and their genetics. This job definitely expanded your knowledge and skills.

The weeks had gone by so fast and it was already spring. The Avengers had a long free time since Christmas, there had only been a few missions for one or two days and not every one of them was needed or had to participate in every mission. It seemed to be quiet in space these times and no invasions were in sight. It has been a really comfortable time for you and Loki and irrationally you thought it would never change.

It was an afternoon in the first days of April and Loki and you strolled through the park like every day. The days became warmer now and today you didn't even need a jacket. Loki wore a green long-sleeve shirt, only half-buttoned and black tight jeans like you. He never seemed to freeze but you didn't wonder about it anymore. And you loved to have a sexy view of his chest. You had a tight-fitting turtleneck sweater on because you didn't find it warm enough to wear just a blouse or a T-shirt. You two walked arm in arm around the lake, your one hand shoved into the back pocket of Loki's trousers so you could caress and kneed his sexy ass the whole time. How were you supposed to not do it? This man, your man, was just too sexy and too adorable.

Instead of the ice skaters on the lake, there were swans and ducks now in the water and they quacked like there was no tomorrow. You stopped there for a moment and watched the ducks and swans swimming in the water or cleaning their feathers at the lake's shore.

"Did you know that swans stay together for life once they have found their partner?" you asked him.

"Noo, but I think I want to be a Swan now because I want to be together forever with you" he replied.

Loki hooked a finger into your turtleneck and pulled it down, just a little bit. You turned your head towards him and he gave you a passionate kiss. He then kissed your cheek and his mouth trailed down to your throat and he sucked a hickey to your soft skin. He always knew to push your buttons right and you laughed quietly and moaned blissfully. His tongue circled around and over the fresh marking before he let go of your throat and pushed the turtleneck up again. There were so many smitten couples strolling through the park that no one paid attention to you.

"Lo, please," you giggled.

"What? I could do this all day, Snowflake."

"Yeah, I know that and I enjoy it but…"

"But what? Your hand on my arse, my mouth on your lips and your throat, that's just fair, isn't it?"

You laughed and he kissed you again.

"Do you know why I love to see you wearing a turtleneck sweater?" he asked you, his signature grin appearing on his beautiful face.

"Nooo, but I'm sure you're going to tell me, handsome."

"I can suck the soft skin of your neck and leave my marks and nobody else can see them but you and I know, they're there. And this I find extremely sexy," he murmured into your ear.

With his arm around your nape, his hand grabbed your chin carefully, turned your head towards him and he smacked his soft wet lips against yours. Your hand rested in the opening of his shirt on his naked chest and you felt his heartbeat against your hand. Why could you never get enough of him? And he was very clingy these days so it was even harder for you to keep your fingers off your lover.

"Come, let's walk to our bench, Lo."

"As you wish, my love." He stared deeply and lovingly into your eyes. You couldn't explain what it was but there was something different in his gaze. Maybe you just imagined it.

The daffodils, tulips, and grape hyacinths were blooming all over the meadow and in the flower beds. The Japanese flowering trees were also blooming and a small amount of the blossom petals whirled around and down to the ground like pink snowflakes. One could say it was almost kitschy but you loved it and for you, it was romantic and idyllic. And it was the first time that you could enjoy spring together with Loki.

You sat close to him on the bench, his arm wrapped around you, your head leaning against his shoulder. You both watched the scenery before you, looking at children playing in the meadow and listening to the chirping birds. Everything could be fine if there wasn't the strange feeling you had in your gut.

"Lo, is there something you want to tell me? I can feel there's something that keeps your mind busy."

He hemmed and hawed a bit before he told you what was coming.

"I can't fool you, can I?"

"No, you can't", and you smiled at him. You lifted your head from his shoulder and turned towards him.

"We…have to go on a mission, a big one. I can't give you more details, I'm not allowed."

"Okay…so the 'businessman' is back to business," you said smilingly. "I assumed it might be something like this and we both knew this day would come."

"Yes, we knew it, Snowflake. We just didn't want to think about it."

Loki appeared to be thoughtful.

"Can we stay in contact while you're in outer space? Via video calls or radio messages?"

"No, that won't be possible. We'll be too far away for that."

"Hmmh, I understand. But it's not too dangerous, is it?" You asked him insecurely.

He hemmed and hawed again and took a very deep breath before he spoke again, unable to look at you.

"There might be the possibility that we …that I… that I could…"

"Lo? Lo, what are you trying to tell me?" You felt nauseous and angsty now.

"I…there's a… possibility that I could get seriously injured or…killed in the worst case. This mission is a very dangerous one ."

"Please what?" you asked, astonished and upset. "You're a god. Aren't you invulnerable or even immortal?"

"Well, that's not entirely true. You know, it's not that easy to seriously hurt or kill me but…"

"Lo, you're a god, gods are immortal, aren't they? You and also Thor…you cannot die…", you asked him, panic in your voice.

"We can and we do…it just seems like we cannot die because our life span is so much longer in comparison with yours. Darling, listen…"

"Wait what? Okay, you…you can't get killed so easily…at least something, that's good...okay, I get that … and when will you have to leave for this… maybe deadly shit?" Your heart raced and you felt dizzy.

"Tomorrow…in the morning…", he answered quietly.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Loki?"

You freed yourself from his embrace hastily, stood up from the bench and made a few steps forward, away from him towards the meadow, crossing your arms in front of you. You were livid.

"Do you know what you are telling me here right now?", you asked him angrily.

"Snowflake, please…listen…"

He stood up and walked over to you, trying to hold you by your shoulders and calming you down.

"Don't touch me", you scolded him and pushed his hands away.

"Do you know what?" You turned around to look at him, a mixture of anger and sadness in your voice and on your face.

"By every single person in my life which I loved to the core I was confronted with a fait accompli. By my father, my ex and my sister! And all of them left me alone very shortly after they had spoken to me and they never came back. Whether I want to see them again or not, it hurts, Loki, it fucking hurts. And it scares me!"

You swallowed your tears and your anger down. You didn't want to shout at him. Not here, and not in public. And never in your favourite place, you both loved so much.

"Do you think I'm just a dumb earth girl? Do you really think I haven't recognised that something was going on after this mysterious meeting two weeks ago? I don't want to know the details, Loki. It's a secret mission and I get that. But it's my right as your girlfriend to know in time that you're going to leave me and that it will be a very dangerous and maybe… deadly mission. I would've liked to be better prepared for it. Together with you!

Don't you think it would've been fair to tell me sooner and not just one day before your departure? You should never underestimate my gut feeling. I can't even think about it that I might lose you on this mission, although it's absolutely clear that you and I will always have to live with that risk. But it would've been nice to be confronted with this upcoming mission earlier but…okay, for you it doesn't seem that serious and significant…"

"Are you done now?" he asked resentfully.

"And please don't suggest that I think that you're a dumb earth girl. That's not fair, Snowflake. You're my perfect woman which I love endlessly and you should know that. I just didn't want you to worry too long before I have to leave... or to worry longer than necessary. I always want you to feel happy and safe. Before I met you I never cared about if I would return from a mission or not. But now I do care. It's a new situation for me, too and I don't know how to do everything right. To make you happy and give you all of my genuine love, that's my purpose. That's why I didn't tell you earlier…I…I just wanted to protect you! What is wrong with that?" he said, vexed by your accusations.

"Now I know it was a mistake to keep silent for so long. I'm not perfect, Snowflake. I never was and I'll never be…I just wanted to protect you 'cause I love you more than my life, more than anything. I never intended to hurt you. I'm sorry, my love…"

You shook your head and stared down at your feet before you looked at him again.

"I don't want you to be perfect, Lo. I just want you to be honest with me and that you tell me about such important things earlier. Please don't take away my right to worry about you. I love you way too much not to do it," you said softly to him.

Your anger was gone. You saw that he just wanted to make everything right, that he would never hurt you intentionally and that he loved you deeply. You pulled him into a tight embrace and he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head in the crook of your neck. You desperately clung to him, stroking your fingers through his curls.

"I just want one thing, Lo. Come back to me. I beg you, please baby come back to me. Promise…promise me!"

How could he give this promise to you? He didn't know what would happen. He couldn't look into the future. But he truly wanted to come back to you, he would never leave you alone as all the others did.

"I promise Snowflake. I'll come back." He felt like a liar.

"And you, my love, promise me you will come here every day. Always, every day until I'm back. Same time, same place. And I want you to think and dream of me then, do you hear me? Promise me! I need this assurance because I don't want you to break with our ritual. I'll be here with you then, in your heart and your mind."

You just nodded. You couldn't speak. Farewell pain and anxiety choked your throat.

"I need to hear you saying it!"

"Yes, I promise, Lo," you whispered barely audible.

"When I'm back, we will go on vacation, if you want. Would you like that? Where would you like to go, my love?"

You looked at him and smiled, playing with the collar of his shirt. You knew he just wanted to distract you from the concerns and anxieties you had and that he wanted to give you hope.

"Norway…I want to see Norway again."

"Then it will be Norway, my Lady."

He cupped your cheeks and gave you a passionate kiss and you let your tongue play with his. He never failed to kiss your anger and anxieties away.

"I still feel guilty for not telling you earlier…"

"Yeah, it's not okay but…I get why you didn't tell me earlier but don't feel guilty, Lo. I know you did it for love," and you gave him a smile.

"Let's go to the café and then you can tell me everything about a God's physical vulnerability and mortality. I want…no, I need to know everything about it, Lo."

"Are you sure you want to know all this? Every little detail?"

"Yes! I prefer to face the truth!"

"Then I'll do it, darling. But I really don't want to scare you further."

"You don't, Lo. I don't want to let you go with me having false, unrealistic ideas about what could or could not happen to you."

"Always straight to the point, hmm?"

"Yeah, always straight to the point, Sir!"

Loki smiled and nodded. He took your hands in his and first he kissed the backs of your hands and then your palms. He adored you endlessly and you never failed to give him the feeling of still being valued and loved even when he made mistakes. Arm in arm you walked to the café, for the last time before he had to leave you.

The night before he had to leave, he made the most tender love to you while holding your hand the whole time, his fingers laced with yours. He bathed you in love and bliss, peppering open-mouthed kisses to your lips and every part of your body. Loki glanced at you all the time because he wanted to memorize every single detail of your face and your body so that when he is on this mission he would always remember you and your beautiful face and the feeling of your velvety skin on his.

He inhaled your scent deeply and whenever you two reached another climax he softly demanded from you to look him in the eyes. He needed all of this because he knew he would miss you every single second he couldn't be with you. After all that tender love making he cradled you in his arms and you two fell asleep. You held each other as tightly as you could because you wouldn't see and touch each other for quite some time.

The next morning was awful. You and Pepper stood at the helipad to say goodbye to the Avengers. Everyone had already entered the spaceship except Loki. He still held you tightly to his chest and gave you a breathtaking last kiss. Everything you had to say to each other had been said the previous night and he had to leave now.

"Keep your promise, snowflake. I love you, never forget that."

"And you keep yours, Lo, love of my life. And don't flirt with other space princesses. You know that you look extremely sexy in your leather combat suit, don't you?"

"I know! It's because of all the fine Asgardian leather and metal."

"Arrogant, smug God! But you're my god, you know!"

"And you're my goddess. Why should I flirt with a space princess when my goddess is waiting here for me?", and you both chuckled.

Actually you felt like crying but you gave him your radiant sweet smile. You didn't want his last impression of you to be your tears. He should remember just your smile on the mission.

He kissed you on your forehead and gave you a last nod, turned around and entered the spaceship. He didn't look back. His eyes were wet with tears but they didn't fall.

When the ship wasn't to see anymore, you allowed your tears to flow and your heart wanted to break. Deep inside of you, you knew he would come back… just a gut feeling. To let him go was horrible but you also knew that you should quickly get used to it. This wouldn't be the last mission. Pepper placed a hand on your shoulder.

"I know it's hard to let them go. The first time is the worst. Loki will come back. They'll all come back, believe me."

"I know," you nodded sadly.

"Come! Let's drink tea together and afterwards get back to work. That's the best distraction!"

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go!", and you smiled at her.

You kept your promise and your ritual. Every day you walked to the park. Same time, same place, a lonely woman on a bench… from the outside, it might look like this but it wasn't nearly like that. You weren't lonely, Loki was with you, in your heart and your mind. You thought and dreamt of him as you promised and you were absolutely sure, he will come back to you. It just felt as if the time went by way too slowly.

You hated the empty bed at night. You missed Loki and his proximity, you missed him desperately and you hoped he would come back soon…that they all will come back soon. It was so silent in the compound without them. The uncertainty was the worst thing and not knowing if they were all okay and successful.

"Y/n? Wake up, they will arrive soon! Hurry up!"

It was two weeks after they left for the mission when a loud knocking at your apartment's door woke you up in the early morning. Last night you fell asleep on the couch and the TV was still on and you felt as if you hadn't even slept a minute.

"Y/n? Did you hear me?"

"Yes, Pepper, I'll be there in a minute."

You were so tired but the fact that Loki would be back soon made you wake up immediately. Finally! You were utterly happy to see him again.

You jumped off the sofa, sprinted to the bathroom to brush your teeth quickly, got dressed in leggings and Loki's hoodie, and ran to the kitchen where Pepper was waiting for you with fresh, hot coffee.

"When will they arrive?" you asked her excitedly, a big smile on your face.

"Honestly, I don't know, I couldn't understand everything Tony said. The reception was bad, probably the communication system is defective."

"Maybe we should go outside and wait there for them?"

"Yes, good idea!"

You two did what you had suggested and a few minutes later the spaceship arrived.

You two welcomed everyone back. They were all unharmed, they had just some bruises and scratches, nothing too serious. But they were worn and weary and everyone just wanted to take a shower and a nap because tonight you all would celebrate a small reunion party with family and a few friends and acquaintances. Tony would never miss a chance to throw a party even if it's just a small one. He had already planned it on their flight back home.

And then you saw him, your Loki, striding down the gangway. You ran towards him and jumped into his open arms. He hugged you while you wrapped your legs around his waist.

"Have you missed me?"

"Of course not, Sir!"

"I didn't miss you either!" You looked at each other and smiled.

"Are you okay, Lo?"

"I'm okay, my love. Just a few scratches."

"Fine!" you said, relieved, and kissed him longingly.

"I stink and I'm dirty. I need a shower, urgently!" he laughed.

"I don't mind. I'm just glad to have you back."

"I'm glad, too. It's good to hold you in my arms again, my love."

He let you down to the ground again and you two went to your apartment. Loki was already in the shower when you decided to join him. You got out of your clothes, went to the bathroom and entered the shower. Loki had already washed his body and his hair. His forehead rested against the tiles and he enjoyed the warm water rippling down his tired body. He felt happy when he heard you coming into the shower. He just wanted to be close to you again.

"I was scared, Snowflake."

"I know, baby. But you're back…back in my arms", and you hugged him from behind.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not yet."

"Okay. Then just relax, baby."

Your hands trailed up and down and over his chest and abs, you turned your head sideways, resting your cheek on his back and pressed your body close to him. Loki moaned when your hands reached down and you trailed your fingers over his hips and inner thighs. Your one hand cupped his balls carefully, your other hand grasped his cock and you gently stroked it from base to tip.

Loki groaned sharply and sighed, and succumbed to your seducing touch. You felt him getting hard under your agonizingly slow strokes and you massaged and caressed his balls gently. He moaned faster when you started rubbing your thumb over his tip and two of your fingers stimulating him further by rubbing softly at his frenulum. In constant changes with firm strokes of his cock and massaging his balls his arousal grew quickly and his length twitched eagerly in your hand.

"Does it feel good, Lo?"

"Yess…it feels good…Norns, you're hands are…oh fuck … magical…"

"Then cum, Lo, cum for me, just let go…"

You kept holding his manhood in your hands, still softly stroking and caressing him so he could enjoy his orgasm and the blissful aftermath. You pressed tender kisses to his shoulders and his back until his breath came back to normal and his length got soft again. When he turned around to look at you, you let go of him and he cleaned your hands and his cock under the warm water. He pulled you into his arms and kissed you, longingly and thankfully.

You knew he was close and you were immensely turned on by his moans. Your own arousal was barely bearable and you felt your clit throbbing. You would love to have him inside of you. But you could wait, now it was just about him. You increased the pace of stroking his cock and stimulating his swollen tip and he began to tremble. With one hand Loki grabbed your buttocks firmly, his other hand he placed against the tile wall. His whole body was shaking. He tilted back his head and his muscles tensed up mere moments before he came hard with a loud moan and your name on his lips. He ejaculated all over your beautiful hands and then he looked down so he could see how his cum poured over them.

"Damn, Snowflake, that was good! Thank you my love, I've missed that."

"Me too, Lo, it's so good to have you back."

You two left the shower and dried each other off, went over to the bed and finally, you two slid under the big duvet. You looked at each other and Loki caressed your cheek.

"Your God would like to fuck you but I'm so tired, Snowflake. I'll make it up to you later, my love, I promise."

"Don't worry about it, Lo, just get some rest now", and you cuddled him up into your arms, his head resting on your cleavage.

You just wanted to hold him like this and watch him sleep. Loki was relieved to be back in your arms. He knew that this time he not only returned. This time, he came back home, home to you. His home was you. While you played with his still-damp hair and scratched his scalp, he fell into a dreamless, relaxing sleep.

In the evening you all, including some friends and acquaintances met for the small house party in the dining room and living room lounge to spend the evening together. Of course, the main thing to talk about was the successful mission. Every Avenger told her or his own version and however, at some point, you all could just laugh about the different heroic versions. But it was the best way to process the incidents and exhausting fights. Most of the time you sat sideways on Loki's lap, one arm wrapped around his shoulder and his hand stroked up and down your spine or caressed your thigh. The proximity of each other was all you two needed right now.

"Guys, seriously. We should raise our glasses now… to us and especially to Loki. While we tried to destroy the invaders and defend the planet we were lured into a trap. He sensed it and with his sharp mind, trickery and his incredible magic he saved us all so we could fight against the invaders again and finally, we won the battle altogether. Cheers, ladies and gents!"

"Cheers!" you all said in unison.

You had listened intently and attentively the whole evening and you were impressed by how brave and strong they all were and you were proud of Loki. Once more he could improve his loyalty, his bravery and his care for others. In the end, they all agreed that they were just glad to have done a good job and to be back home now. You gave Loki a tender kiss before you left his lap and went over to the table to eat some more cheese and grapes.

"I guess these invasive monsters will never die out, we'll stay very busy saving and defending innocent lives", Nat said annoyed.

"The universes are blessed to have you all. I still don't believe in monsters but if I had your combat skills I would immediately kill every monster that dares touch or attack me…but I think I better keep wearing my lab coat", you joked after you had returned from Tony's bar with another bottle of wine and everyone laughed.

You refilled Nat's, Pepper's and your own wine glass before you asked Loki.

"Lo, do you want some more wine, too?" and you turned around to the armchair he was sitting in. To your astonishment, he wasn't sitting there. He wasn't even in the living room lounge anymore.

"Where is Loki?" you asked and frowned.

The others shrugged their shoulders. They hadn't recognised him leaving the room either. They all had been busy telling everyone about the mission or talking to each other.

"Excuse me, guys." I just look quickly where my man is." You smiled at them and left.

Loki wasn't in the fireplace lounge where you assumed him to be so he must've returned to your apartment and finally you found him there in the bedroom.

He knew you would look for him. He knew that he couldn't keep this last secret anymore. You deserved to know everything about him. He had already been waiting much too long to tell you the truth. You had been so mad at him when he told you too late about the mission and he was so grateful that you forgave and still loved him.

"Loki? Why are you standing here in the dark? Did something happen?"

He stared out of the window. He knew that this time you wouldn't forgive him. He knew that tonight he would lose you forever.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❤️❄️😳🥺😳❄️❤️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Tags:

@lokisprettygirl @wheredafandomat @fictive-sl0th @smolvenger @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lokixryss @huntress-artemiss

[muuussings]

Black on flat water past the jonquil lawns           Riding, the black swan draws A private chaos warbling in its wake, Assuming, like a fourth dimension, splendor That calls the child with white ideas of swans           Nearer to that green lake      Where every paradox means wonder.

Though the black swan's arched neck is like      A question-mark on the lake, The swan outlaws all possible questioning: A thing in itself, like love, like submarine Disaster, or the first sound when we wake;           And the swan-song it sings      Is the huge silence of the swan.

Illusion: the black swan knows how to break           Through expectation, beak Aimed now at its own breast, now at its image, And move across our lives, if the lake is life, And by the gentlest turning of its neck           Transform, in time, time’s damage;      To less than a black plume, time’s grief.

Enchanter: the black swan has learned to enter           Sorrow’s lost secret center Where, like a maypole separate tragedies Are wound about a tower of ribbons, and where The central hollowness is that pure winter           That does not change but is      Always brilliant ice and air.

Always the black swan moves on the lake; always           The blond child stands to gaze As the tall emblem pivots and rides out To the opposite side, always. The child upon The bank, hands full of difficult marvels, stays           Forever to cry aloud      In anguish: I love the black swan.

-"The Black Swan" (1946) by James Merrill

[fleckcmscott]

Coffee & Donuts

Summary: Arthur’s thrilled to be part of a crowd. Though the evening doesn’t go perfectly, Y/N’s flirtations make it sweet.

Warnings: Smut

Words: 4,602

A/N: Alright. After the heart wrenching angst of my last piece (which I love, by the way; don't get me wrong! 😂), I had to write another story in which Arthur and Y/N are happy and together. It's inspired by one of Arthur's visions during their kiss. I hope you all like it! Special thanks to @jokerownsmysoul for beta-ing!

If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open!

Parties and celebrations weren't foreign to Arthur. He'd worked plenty, enough to make him realize what he'd been missing out on. He was well-versed in pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs, and balloon animals. But as an adult, those activities didn't satisfy. He wanted to be included rather than paid. Connect with people, introduce himself. Discuss his experiences and pursuits. Feel sufficiently at ease to loosen up a little and have a good time.

Now he was a guest - a certified guest - at Patricia Gorman's fifty-sixth birthday party. The first party he'd been invited to since being the weird kid in class who'd rotated between three worn out sweaters and could never afford a gift.

He'd been a tad apprehensive about going to Burnside. Gotham's nicest borough had a reputation for high rents and low tolerance. When Y/N and he had entered 2E, however, Patricia's greeting ("You made it!") and the apartment were thoroughly welcoming. Crocodile brown walls and forest green shag carpet made the spacious living room a cozy hideaway. Marigolds leapt across the polyester of the T-cushion sofa and its easy-chair companion. The floor lamp's amber, crimped glass shades cast the spacious living room in a glow borrowed from warm autumn days.

Patricia's husband, Robert, was out on an emergency call. An HVAC had gone haywire in a residential building in Hinckley. Her daughter, son-in-law, and grandson had been by for lunch. That meant the only other guests were Matt - Y/N's old boss - and a bottle-blonde in a black halter dress and spike heels, who Y/N introduced as Laura. ("She's Matt's ex-wife," Y/N later disclosed. "He's been trying to win her back since I moved to Gotham.") Both shook Arthur's hand when he offered it, and he felt a little thrill whirl his stomach when Y/N laid claim to him by telling the woman, "This is my husband."

A collection of appetizers served as dinner, a fun and novel menu. The slow cooker meatballs Y/N and he had lugged over on the subway were a bit tangy; he still couldn't believe the recipe called for grape jelly. The deviled eggs with paprika, a pleasant mix of savory and sweet, was a dish he'd heard about on television. Cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches were light and airy, a good match for his iced tea. Only the artichoke and spinach dip gave him pause. Its beans and hot sauce made his taste buds wince.

That unpleasant flavor was quickly forgotten when Y/N pulled him to sit next to her on the sofa, so Patricia could open her presents. She proudly showed off the orange, clay ashtray her grandson had made for her. Arthur, having successfully kept the secret of her light smoking from Y/N, chuckled at Patricia fibbing she'd put candy in it. She thanked Matt and Laura for the champagne, wrapped in a silver bow with a simple "Happy Birthday" tag. The bottle wasn't popped. Upon peeking into the large giftbag Y/N placed on her lap, she made a soft sound. The Dazey whirlpool bath, which attached to the side of the tub and had three strength settings, was a hit. She announced her plans to try it in the morning. The dark blue Rexbuilt briefbag was intended to replace her cracked, leather briefcase, Y/N explained. Patricia ran her fingertips along the expanding inner compartments, the personalized planner that included the credential "CLA" after her name, and flipped through the included steno pads, eyes brimming.

She sipped at her cocktail and put an arm around Y/N. Melancholy tinged Patricia's voice. "At my age, the people in your life tend to stay the people in your life. Whether you like them or not." She reached further and patted Arthur's knee. "I'm glad an old dame like me gets to call you all friends." His throat clenched in gratification, though he wasn't daring enough to squeeze her hand and thank her for deciding he was a friend.

Still on top of the world an hour later, Arthur sauntered to the red and white enamel dining table to serve himself a second slice of upside-down pineapple cake. The evening had gone well, better than a guy with a natural inability to mingle could've expected. He bobbed his head to the beat of "Come Fly with Me." It was a happy coincidence that Patricia's taste in music aligned with his. She'd regaled him with tales of seeing Sinatra and Count Basie on her and Robert's honeymoon in Vegas. Arthur took a bite absentmindedly, wondering how long it would take for him to save the money to surprise Y/N with plane and concert tickets.

The daydreaming didn't last long. Matt's plodding footsteps preceded him, followed by a long sigh as he propped himself on the beige stone of the dining area's accent wall, across from the u-shaped kitchen. He held out a Budweiser and smirked. "Marriage is a hell of a lot of work."

Pleased that he was being treated like one of the guys, like a regular husband with a regular relationship who got to speak about his regular wife, Arthur accepted the beer and considered the comment. Matt's sentiment was hard to grasp. Dr. Sally had said marriage could be difficult, and Y/N's first hadn't survived the ripples of her life. But it didn't feel like work with her. Their arguments were minor. Her nagging him to find a primary doctor for annual check-ups, even though he'd survived this long without one. Or back in Missouri, when he'd told her to stop shielding him and trust he could take anything she had to give.

Arthur adopted a similar nonchalant posture and jutted his hip against the table's edge. "I like it. It's easy to take good care of her." He wasn't able to completely erase the smugness of success from his tone.

"You're what? Two years in with the most headstrong woman in Gotham? She's great and all, but she spikes my blood pressure." Matt slapped Arthur's back and let out a hearty guffaw. "Give it five more and you'll be in my office trying to avoid alimony."

"Don't. Say that." Arthur crinkled the can in his grip and glared up at him.

"Hey," Matt started, withdrawing even as he tried diplomacy. "It was just a joke. I didn't mean anything by it."

Flinching, pulling at the cuffs of his red sweater, Arthur fought the surge of anger in his veins. It wouldn't do to lose control and cause a scene. Of course Matt's comment about them splitting up was supposed to be a joke. But Arthur didn't find it one bit funny. Even with his complete faith in her and his firm belief that they were meant to be together, the possibility that she'd stop wanting him hurt. It didn't occur to him that the implication of the punchline could be that he'd get sick of Y/N.

With a muttered apology, Matt walked to the others in the kitchen. Arthur glanced over to see her laugh tipsily, until she grabbed her stomach and swatted Patricia's shoulder, a stark demonstration of how much he and Y/N differed. She always knew how to respond to people, the right comebacks. Appropriate timing and levels of interaction. It seemed she was in her natural element, the loveliest swan on a lake. Whereas after years of therapy and practice with her, he was still a fish out of water, flopping around on the shoreline in hopes some stranger would take pity on him and throw him back into the sea.

Maybe that was the real punchline. Eventually their contrasts would no longer complement each other and instead become a chore.

Scowling, he ambled towards the record player stationed before two double-hung windows. Increased the volume to drown out the intrusive notions. It didn't really work. He settled on a grounding technique he'd practiced, all the while lamenting that he couldn't handle a party without needing it. His attention went to the spinning LP, the needle following its grooves. The bright blue album cover, where Ol' Blue Eyes beckoned him, the scuff marks on the cardboard's corner edges. He acknowledged the spider plants sat on the windowsill, worried a papery leaf until it broke off. He stared out the window, taking in the whole of the city. Pinpricks of light dazzling in the darkness.

"Gotham's beautiful at night," Y/N said from behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to watch her approach. Her cheeks glowed with alcohol and good cheer, the collar of her ivory blouse unbuttoned. "There's a life behind every light out there. Ten million of them. Here. Try this." She offered her hurricane glass, filled with an off-white slush.

He sipped the pina colada with cautious skepticism and grimaced as soon as it hit his tongue. The blend of pineapple and coconut tasted of cheap sunscreen and tropical imitations, the kind advertised in smudged brochures for bad cruises to islands with made up sounding names. "No, thanks."

Snorting, she shrugged and embraced his back at the waist. "How are we doing?" she asked, curling into his side. After a few seconds, she prodded him. "Had your fill of Matt?"

"He was just joking." Arthur rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.  She set the drink next to the record player and brought her hand to his, trailed it over the inside of his wrist, up his forearm. She pecked his chin and nudged him until he turned to her. As soon as their gazes met, the concern in hers told him she'd continue to pepper him with questions. But he wasn't about to let his misplaced doubts spoil her evening. And he knew the perfect way to distract them both.

A new song started. An oldie that sang of Jupiter and Mars, playfulness among the stars. He cupped her cheek, thumb sweeping the corner of her mouth. "Dance with me," he said. Before accepting his proffered palm, she laid a sloppy kiss on him. With a flutter of her eyelashes, she grinned, and his smile grew to match her own. As he held her side, led her in a slow, swaying circle, he marveled at her. At her ability to soothe every molecule, every lingering ache. Self-assurance welled in him, chased away his earlier dejection. He cradled her to his lanky frame, trembled and felt himself blush. She was the only woman for him. That was as certain as his cigarette habit.

Despite Patricia's reassurances she was fine, that Robert working late wasn't unusual, Y/N insisted on staying until he got home. Though Arthur would have preferred they take their leave an hour earlier, being allowed to smoke inside blunted his grumbling. The disarming flirtations she bestowed on him also didn't hurt. She'd pour herself a drink (four in total, if he counted correctly), help Patricia make a plate of leftovers for her husband, then throw him a wink. Whisper and cackle while cleaning, then kiss his temple.

Around midnight, Patricia put her foot down. Ushered them out with a promise to call and a hug fierce enough to crush his ribs. She raised a brow at Y/N's unsteady gait, grasped Arthur's arm, and said with a wry, tired smile, "Make sure you put that woman straight to bed." His dark brows shot up and held. Had she intended a pun? Or had Y/N's spare caresses caused the interpretation? Either way, he liked being trusted to take care of her. And the hint of arousal that flared in his belly.

By the time they stumbled into their apartment, that arousal had reduced to a dull exhaustion. She kicked off her heels on the way to the bathroom, calling a slurred "night!" as she closed the door. Yawning, he put dish soap and hot water in the crockpot, scrubbed burned bits of sauce from its rim, turned it upside down on a towel to dry. Once he'd brushed his teeth for one minute rather than the recommended two, he tossed his sweater, trousers, briefs, and socks in the hamper, and went to the bedroom. He found his blue pajamas in their usual spot, the chair in the corner, and slid them up his skinny but toned legs. Tucked in next to her, he was carried to sleep on waves of fatigue and her quiet, wet snoring.

~~~~~

A tickle threatened to rouse him. Whispers along the waistband of his bottoms. Heat snuggled his back. Delightfully drowsy, he cuddled deeper into cozy, cream-color sheets, already returning to a pleasant, dreamless slumber. But a rumble of exhaust, likely from a bus that needed a new muffler, dragged him to consciousness. Arthur grumbled and tucked his arm under his pillow, not ready to transition to a world of overcrowding and concrete, commotion and bad jokes.

Yet, Y/N's insistent grazes continued, luring him with promises of placid pleasure. Her toes wiggled at his heel until he made space for her to slip her foot between his ankles. The corner of his mouth quirked. He was reminded of last night's playfulness, her endless teasing. The way he'd held the crockpot as a shield to fend off her advances on the train home, her forwardness to the point that he would've preferred having a laminated card to present on her behalf. Forgive my wife: she has a condition. It causes frequent and uncontrollable displays of affection.

Nimble fingers edged lower, loosened the tie of his pajamas before dipping beneath the loose elastic to lace through his dark brown curls, darker than the chestnut hair on his head. Her knuckles ran over him, lazy caresses full of intent. Up and down, up and down. Delicate. Deliberate. The blood racing to his groin, the pleasant swelling, made his abdomen twitch. Soon full and heavy, the sensitive tip straining the cotton seams, he pressed his lips together. When she skimmed the tender skin resting on his inner thigh, he flexed the muscle at the base of his erection. It bobbed and hit her wrist and she let loose a girlish giggle, more intoxicating than wine.

With her left leg draped over him at the knee, she undulated against his rear. Plush lips brushed the boney knobs of his spine, damp breath fanned the nape of his neck, labored, needy. Pebbled nipples grazed his back through the thin nylon of her nightgown, taunting and compelling. He made up his mind to throw an arm around her, to yank her on top of him. To eagerly take part in her seduction.

But she withdrew from his bottoms to palm his stomach and plant a gentle kiss to the shell of his ear, whispering, "Sleep tight." The mattress shifted and she rolled away from him. He furrowed his brows. She rarely relented this easily - other times he'd awakened, hard and aching, enveloped by the captivating wetness of her mouth. What was she up to?

Covers rustled. Her calf bumped his. And the opposite of what he'd assumed occurred. Instead of light footfalls leading out of the room, there was silence, silence that seemed to stretch on and on...

Until a hitched gasp gave her away.

Touching herself. She was touching herself. She'd just been all over him, acted like he was some sort of model on the cover of Vue magazine, and now she was touching herself. Right beside him! Ecstatic to have inspired such brazenness, he grinned and fisted the pillow. Her fleeting, stifled moans tangled him in knots, implored him to give her what they both burned for.

He flipped in her direction, his hand shooting under the sheet to grab hers. "Gotcha."

Eyes wide, she gaped at him in surprise. But adoration softened her expression as she entwined their fingers. "How long have you been awake?" she asked.

"Long enough."

He stretched to rewind the shades, the diaphanous curtains staying in place. Sunlight diffused over them, wrapped around her face, lent her disheveled hair a warm luster. He twirled a feathered lock and pecked her eyelids. "Finishing what you started on the subway, hm?"

"Me?" Y/N brought his knuckles to her mouth.  "You're the one who came to bed without any underwear."

"Well, it was a late night." The pad of his thumb tugged at her bottom lip to reveal the pink tip of her tongue. He bent to claim it. "I was lucky to find my pajamas."

Chuckling, she broke their connection. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah. The cake was good. And the music. Everyone was nice."

"Patricia loved having you there. She thought you were very sweet." A pause as she mapped a dimple. "Matt said he'd upset you. Something stupid about breaking up?"

Vague shadows of discomfort flashed through Arthur, a frustration he'd mostly moved on from. He did his best to ignore it, waving her concern away. "Don't worry about it."

"He was just jealous, you know." Her nails ran along the small of his back. "He wants Laura to look at him the way I look at you."

Arthur had spent so much of his life yearning for change, to understand his purpose in the world and improve himself. The idea that a man with a good education, a successful career, and no disabilities could ever be jealous of him was, frankly, bizarre. But he didn't correct Y/N, instead locking her praise within his heart, preserving it for when he needed it most. He boosted himself on his forearm and fiddled with her V-neck, traced its button loops as he slipped the plastic knobs through them. "And how's that?'

A hint of scandal glimmered in her irises. She arched into him as he eased a strap down her upper arm to reveal her shapely breast, the lilac fabric momentarily catching on its taut peak. "Like I can't get enough of you."

He huffed at that, fondled her faintly before his lips met the velvety skin of her chest. A tonic comprised of the musk oil she'd dabbed on before the party and distinct sexual wanting wafted to his nostrils. He licked at her nipple, the bumps on her areola, and drew it between his teeth. She whined softly and lifted the bottom of her nightdress to her waist.

Hurriedly, he yanked on the waistband of her cotton panties, pushed them past her knees. She kicked them off while he knelt to lower his bottoms. Straddling her, he pumped himself back to hardness and opened the drawer of her nightstand. He searched haphazardly until he retrieved a small, glass bottle of lubricant. (She'd ordered it from a mail catalog, both of them a bit too bashful to walk into an adult shop, even together.)

She snagged it from him and poured half a teaspoon in her hand, then palmed herself. He moved between her legs and she grasped his length, coating him with the warm, slippery liquid. He pushed forward into her. Gradually, slowly, savoring every millimeter of her enticing heat. He noted the stretch of her mouth, the jut of her jaw, the lifting of her upper lip. "Mmm..." she breathed and begged him to keep going. When he did, her head tilted back into the pillow, eyelids falling shut. A smile cut across her cheeks as she purred her satisfaction. "Arthur, I love you."

His touch wandered down the curve of her thigh. At the sight of her subtle writhing beneath him, the sway of her slightly uneven breasts in time with his languid thrusts, he pushed her knee into the mattress, splayed her wider. He grunted lowly. "Look at me."

Their gazes met but didn't hold for long; hers dropped to where they were joined. She caressed right above his pubic bone. "I love seeing you like this." Her fingertips walked a line up his sternum to his chest. "And touching you like this." She wrapped her arms around his middle and drew him to her, locked their lips in a greedy kiss. "And making love like this."

He snorted. "I think this is the only reason you married me."

"Well, not the only reason. There's your good hair, too."

"I've been thinking about cutting it. Trying something new."

"Don't you dare." She tugged at his loose curls, wore her best pout. "What else would I hold onto when we're doing this?"

Laughing lightly, he bumped his nose to hers. Falling into her was like falling into his old fantasies, the ones that'd sustained him through years of isolation. Dates at diners, at comedy clubs, at donut shops, at home. Their shapes had changed as he'd matured, his role in them, his aspirations and infatuations. But they'd remained a warm comfort nonetheless, a place that felt like belonging. And now he belonged with her. Hunger filled him. Happiness. And love. So much love, more than he'd ever believed he'd carried in him. He bucked a little harder. "You feel so good," he murmured. "You make me feel so good."

A strained cry left her and her pelvis answered his steady rhythm with demands of its own. Her calves rose to squeeze him closer, encircle his narrow hips. They were pressed together so tightly; it felt like they were one flesh. He never wanted it to stop. But a dizzying euphoria had ignited, one that eclipsed the romantic yearnings of his heart, twisting his desire to last all morning into the desperate drive to possess her. Gasping, Arthur raised himself to his knees, delving deeper with each push. Their foreheads met and he grit his teeth at the scald of her, the texture of her walls. She fit as though she'd been made for him.

He supposed she was.

Pressure began in the base of him, building and building in terrific torment. The muscles of his inner thighs contracted inward. Tingling climbed his shaft, his tailbone, his spine. He wove his fingers into the sheet, his grip a vise that wrested its corner from the mattress. She kissed the spot where his jaw met his neck, all the while murmuring encouragements for him to let himself go.

Bliss shot through him, from the tips of his toes to the follicles on his scalp, and his back stiffened as he whimpered and poured into. Fever engulfed his frame, sublime in its frenzy, leaving him in a heady stupor. Aftershocks made him tremble. Once, twice. Until, sated and spent, he landed on top her. He closed his eyes, ribs rising and falling as he forced air into his lungs.

A minute later, he swallowed and looked down at her. "You didn't come."

She carded through his sweaty locks. "It's all righ-"

"Shh." He slid out of her and settled at her side, reached between her legs to swipe at her core. "I'm not done," he declared, tracing the edges of her entrance, slick and swollen. One of his favorite things about getting her off was demonstrating his prowess in bed, how well he'd learned with her. His thumb met her plump clitoral hood, and he felt her throb beneath his ministrations.

Nails biting his bicep, she rocked upwards. A bewitching blush crept up her breast, her neck, spread across her cheeks. Shallow pants hit his face, short puffs suffused with high-pitched whines, utterly irresistible. He circled her nub at a steady cadence, tapping when she'd shiver, and she clasped the back of his hand. He swirled his tongue around her nipple, sucked the pretty peak, and lowered the other strap of her nightgown to bare her completely. A hushed plea fell from her lips. "Please, please..."

Suddenly, her vulva grew white hot and she seized, her hips stuttering with each flutter of his touch to her folds. She thrusts her breasts towards him, a sharp moan caught in her throat. Liquid pooled against his fingers, proof of her rapture that made him wish, with mild amusement, that he could be an unmedicated young man again. He would've gladly taken her a second time.

Giggling and rubbing her temple, she released a long exhale and opened her eyes. He brushed her hair back and grinned, completely smitten, like the first time he'd heard a joke and understood the punchline. The light brown picture frame on his nightstand caught his attention, and he regarded the wallet size photo in it, one of the shots of Y/N from the booth at Amusement Mile. The last thing he looked at before turning in each night. He lay his head her shoulder and hummed, listened to the drum of her heart.

She smooched his hairline and wriggled out from beneath him to stand. Her nightie had been reduced to a crumpled stripe of lilac cinched about her waist. It felt tawdry and shameless and he wanted to see her in it for the rest of the weekend. But she peeled it down her legs, wrinkling her nose when it got stuck on her thighs, and stepped out of it one foot at a time. She dropped it on the floral bedspread and retrieved her bathrobe from the closet. "Meet you in the kitchen," she said, opening the door.

The sun had risen higher, its beams slanting across the covers. He basked in it, catlike, then swung his legs over the side of the bed. He pulled on his pajamas, got a new pair of socks from their dresser, and made his way to the kitchen. He washed off the remnants of Y/N's arousal from his fingers, popped open a prescription bottle and took a tablet. He poured water into the coffeemaker, grabbed the can of grounds from the second shelf, added three scoops to the paper filter. Their three-tone brown mugs sat in their spot next to the machine, waiting to be filled.

When the glass coffeepot was half full, Y/N emerged from the bathroom, chuckling to herself. She opened the breadbox on the opposite counter and took out a wax paper bag. "Do you have any idea how dull this morning would have been if we'd never met? I'd have read the Sunday paper, had a drink. Probably worked on a file." He handed her a couple dessert plates, watched her put a donut on each one. "I wonder where you'd be. What woman you'd have breakfast with, what jokes you'd be writing, what magic tricks you'd have learned."

"Um..." At first he wanted to ask where this speculation had come from, if Matt had let her in on exactly what he'd said. But the confident slant of her smirk told Arthur she was teasing. He tried to play along but winced. No matter how appealing, how extraordinary she found him, his gut told him there wouldn't have been another woman. There'd be no more stand-up routines, no more Carnival. He certainly wouldn't be taking care of Penny. He'd likely be locked up in the hospital, maybe even dead. Without an anchor, his life would have lost what little sense it had.

Y/N was one of his anchors now, hooked into the sand alongside his material, treatment, the ability to pay bills. He seized her hand and squeezed it tight, unaware he was squishing her fingers. "I don't wanna think about it," he said quietly.

She sidled up to him and pulled him to her side. Rubbed his flank soothingly and pecked the corner of his mouth. "Don't worry." She took his chin and guided him to look at her. The intimate comfort of her smile helped him believe her next words, even before she spoke them. "I'll always be here."

~~~~~

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[myfearless-love]

The Wildest Place You Run (2/?) - Hold the Front

Thanks to everyone who commented on the first chapter or reblogged, liked the story written for @cssns! Here’s the next one; I plan on posting chapters every Sunday. Thank you to my awesome beta and artist @thejollyroger-writer! Check out her amazing art for the first two chapters! Enjoy!

Summary:

Vampires, Werewolves, Mages, and Elves. For centuries, they kept their existence a secret, but the constant rebellions against the strict laws of the Guild had led to a terrible tragedy. In an open clash, it became apparent to humans just what kind of monsters lived among them. Emma Swan loses the love of her life in the first battle of the war. A few months later, while still trying to process what happened, a mysterious and terrifying figure worms his way into her life. But the man is hiding far more terrible secrets than he reveals to her, pulling them both into a horrible situation...

Chapter: 2/? - Hold the Front

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Rating: M

Relationships: Killian Jones/Emma Swan

Read on: FF.net or AO3

Words: ~4.7k

Previous parts:

Ch 1

TW for this chapter: Depictions of violence and blood

.

"There was nothing you could have done," said Mary Margaret as she shook her head.

Emma couldn't even count just how many times she had heard this sentence from her. She wanted to believe her friend, but she never could. If she had been faster, if she had noticed the danger sooner… Maybe she could have saved Neal that terrible night.

It had happened more than half a year ago, but the screams still echoed in her ears as sharply as they had that night. The image of the pile of bodies, the blood, and the burning building was forever seared into her memory. But the most terrifying minutes weren't caused by these pictures. Neal's death changed everything…

He was a Hunter, just like her half-brother, David, with the difference that no elven blood flowed through his veins, any more than it did in hers. They both served the Guild and that was what caused Neal's demise. He and her brother were among the first to be called to the front lines…

The light of the full moon covered the entire clearing, and it danced on the mirror of the lake. The weather was relatively pleasant, a balmy breeze sailing through the early June night. It ruffled the fresh, green grass of the meadow, welcomely cooling down her hot face.

Lying side by side, they had been staring wordlessly at the sea of stars for some time. She really wanted to tell him, but she didn't know how he would handle it. She tasted the words a few times in front of the mirror in practice, but found none of them appropriate.

She just watched him, even now she could hardly believe he loved her. Just her. She'd never believed she was good enough to deserve anyone's love, but Neal still saw something in her. It was true, of course, that it took almost two years for their paths to cross (and her infatuation to be reciprocated), but in the end, her intuitions proved to be correct.

There was no one for her but Neal. Maybe the statement was slightly inaccurate, but the few people she'd been with left her within days, weeks, or months, saying they just couldn't learn to love her. She accepted it, because what could she have done? She loved them in vain…

She had already given up on ever being with Neal too, when what she had been waiting for finally happened.

He tore her from her contemplation. He turned on his side, propped himself on his elbow, and gently drew her to him. "What's wrong?" He brushed a lock of her fallen hair behind her ear and smiled kindly at her.

"Nothing's wrong," she whispered in response, snuggling even closer to him.

"Are you sure? You've been acting so… weird," he gently stroked her curly, long blonde hair and gave her an unwaveringly angelic smile. His brown eyes lit up brightly, the corners crinkling faintly.

At any given time, she could completely get lost in those orbs.

"Of course. Everything's fine," she assured him, though the desire to just tell him was burning her inside. But she still couldn't find the words and hesitated. How would he react?

"If you say so…"

His gaze drifted to her lips, and she could see his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. She didn't have to wait long, he slid his palm under her head and rolled over her in moments. His lips tasted hers gently. It was sweet, hot, and passionate all at once, gradually deepening until their tongues met. Suddenly, his body weighed on her. Although not at full weight, he still took her breath away.

It wasn't painful, but he wasn't exactly a lightweight, and the movement gave her a fright.

"Could you…" she moaned in a low voice, but he seemed to understand.

He braced himself on his hands, and she could finally breathe. "Sorry," he smiled apologetically.

"Neal," she finally managed to gather her thoughts.

"Yes?" He scanned her face curiously, his expression momentarily uneasy at the uncertainty he probably saw in her eyes.

"I…" she couldn't continue, she just stared at him, hoping he would understand.

"What's wrong?" His gaze turned suspicious.

"I… I'm… pregnant," she said, breaking eye contact and waiting with bated breath for his reaction. She knew for a fact that he loved her, but they were still so young and they never talked about it.

For a few seconds, he only stared at her with widened eyes. Her face immediately felt hot. It looked like it was the last thing he'd expected to leave her mouth. It must have felt like an ice-cold shower.

Then, to her greatest surprise, a wide grin suddenly spread across his face, and he opened his mouth several times, but no words came out. His instinctively gaze slid to her stomach, followed by his hands.

"You're not kidding, are you? How… How long have you known?"

"No, I'm not kidding. Not too long, I wasn't sure until this morning," she replied quietly, but she was already smiling from the huge weight that had fallen from her heart. She had to admit, she hadn't expected that reaction.

Neal still didn't quite know what to say, and Emma slowly sat up. But before she could prepare herself, he suddenly hugged her tightly.

"You have no idea how happy I am!" He grinned wider and buried his face into her neck.

"I think I can guess," she smiled, then hissed softly. Neal squeezed her too hard. "Relax, tiger," she laughed to herself, and he immediately loosened his grip.

"Sorry. Anyway, I had something planned for the two of us tonight," he remarked, but at the same moment, his phone began to ring."So…" Neal continued, ignoring the call, but she stopped him.

"Pick up. You can always tell me afterward, and it might be important."

"No more important than this," he insisted.

She shook her head disapprovingly, and without hesitation, she dug into his bag to pull out his phone, pressing it into his hands. The caller ID told her it was David. "If I know my brother, you better answer it."

Neal pursed his lips irritably but lifted the phone to his ear. "What?!" he growled at David on the other end, his tone irritated.

The answer clearly didn't lighten his mood, his face made her downright anxious.

"David… I just need half an hour! You can definitely hold the front until then," he almost begged, and Emma found that rather strange.

She began to sharpen her ears with interest.

"Neal! When this is done, you can do it in much quieter and more intimate conditions. We need you now! So get your shit together and get your ass in here!"

David raised his voice so much that even she could understand every single word.

Neal angrily ended the call and shoved the phone into his pocket. "We have to go," he announced in a grim voice, rising from the ground, helping her.

He idly dusted off his pants, delaying the inevitable as much as possible.

"What happened?"

"The newly settled Vampire clan and the new pack of Werewolves are wreaking havoc in the mall downtown. I need to get there… David and the others need backup," he confessed as he rocked from one foot to the other.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

"But…" Neal's gaze shone with fear, and his restlessness had caught her eye, though Emma didn't understand what was wrong with him. Normally, he threw himself into fights like this, but now he seemed hesitant.

"Is there something else?"

"No. Come on, I'll take you home…" He lowered his head, took her hand and they walked back to the black Land Rover LRX parked at the edge of the clearing.

The SUV wasn't his own, legally it belonged to the Guild, but it had been on loan to Neal for some time.

"Neal, we don't have time for that, I'm coming with you," she stated in an authoritative tone, but he just shook his head.

"There are too many creatures there, they've gone completely nuts. I'm not taking you there!"

"Yes, you will! I'm not arguing with you, Neal. And besides, I have the gun David gave me yesterday," she added, trying to convince him. There was no time to waste.

"It's worth very little against them," he said, shaking his head.

"It's filled with silver," she lied easily, just so he would finally relent.

"Why are you so damn stubborn?"

She took that as his agreement, and started running, hearing Neal picking up speed behind her as well. She yanked open the car door and threw herself into the passenger seat. After buckling up, she rummaged in her bag to change the magazine in her Glock. Meanwhile, Neal put the key in the ignition and secured his seatbelt as well.

"Where did it happen?" she asked as they sped through the suburban streets.

"At the new mall. About six hundred people are trapped inside, and they're already being thrown off the roof deck," Neal replied.

The speedometer slowly moved to 55 mph. "Neal, slow down!" Emma hissed through her lips as she squeezed the edge of the seat with whitened fingers.

"You told me to hurry," he grinned, and she rolled her eyes. "What if I dropped you off somewhere?" He gave her a hopeful look, but she shook her head.

"I want to go with you," she declared firmly, and Neal punched the steering wheel in rage.

"You can't come with me! I won't let you, especially now that…" he paused in agitation, then his gaze landed on her, and he looked much more determined. "You're not coming. Period. Get out of the car."

He slammed on the brakes, and the car came to a stop in front of a 24-hour supermarket. He stared at her expectantly. Emma decided to switch tactics, pinning her gaze directly on his crotch.

"Emma, don't look at me like that."

"Then let's go, Neal!"

"No!"

At that moment, his phone started ringing again and David's name flashed on the display.

"Start the car!" she snarled angrily. "If David gets hurt because of us…" She didn't need to finish the sentence, Neal pulled back out onto the road again.

-/-

"You stay here in the car and wait for me. Don't get out unless there's a problem and-"

"Stop it, Neal. I'll be fine, I know how to shoot a gun and I've got good aim!"

"Neal, for God's sake, hurry up!"

Her brother, leaning over the railing of the roof garden, yelled down to them. Much of the three-story building was already in flames, and the glass walls of the first floor lay in tiny shards on the sidewalk, covering the several dozens of bodies that lay in front of the mall.

"Please, Emma, don't come after me. Promise me!"

Emma knew he wouldn't leave until she agreed. "All right, fine," she sighed.

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

Before she could say anything, he pulled his favorite Desert Eagle pistol out of one of his holsters and ran toward the building. She watched him go for a few seconds until he disappeared into the maze of shops.

She nestled uneasily in her seat, and her gun nearly slipped from her hands. Her palms were covered in sweat, and she was growing more nervous by the second. Her courage began to disappear into a bottomless pit.

After a few minutes, she heard a loud crash from her right. Trembling, she raised her gun and looked to the side. At first, she saw nothing, then she noticed a new body among the others. A young boy, probably ten or twelve, lay on the ground, his limbs twisted the wrong way, and a huge pool of blood already growing under his head.

Her stomach began to churn, and she was about to turn her head away from the gruesome sight when another body slammed to the asphalt, just a few feet from the car.

At that moment, she made up her mind. She shoved a spare magazine into her pocket and quickly jumped out of the vehicle. Without looking anywhere, she ran into the mall through one of the shattered windows of a store.

It was a simple, relatively insignificant clothing store, but dozens of women lay on the floor. All of them had had their throats slit open, they were dead, of course, and the floor was soaked with their blood. The cashier, clutching the register, still had a receipt in her hand.

Emma tried to breathe through her mouth and ignore the bodies. Over the years, she'd had the unfortunate opportunity to get used to them, but no matter how many times she encountered one, she could never be completely impervious to it.

She cut through the store and headed straight for the escalator. On her way, she avoided the fountain, its waters already glistening bright red.

When she finally arrived at her destination, she found that the escalator was out of service, so she took two steps at a time and ran as fast as her legs would carry her. Both the first and second floors proved empty, but the higher she got, the more the heat from the fire rose to an almost unbearable degree. She tied her sweater around her waist and stopped unsteadily before the last step.

The sounds of the brawl filtered out clearly, not even the loud crackling of the fire could drown them out. For now, the flames hadn't reached dangerous proximity, and luckily, the building was mostly made of non-combustible materials.

Roars, gunshots, crashing. Thunderous explosions. Frozen, Emma lingered at the foot of the stairs leading to the last floor, staring upward hopefully.

Surely everything would be all right. Neal, David, and the others would soon emerge at the top, with smiles on their lips as if nothing had happened. And they would go home safely.

A few minutes passed while she was idle. She had a hard time convincing herself to go upstairs. Neal and David would certainly be furious, but she'd taken their anger any day rather than their deaths. And besides, they would definitely benefit from a little extra help. If it could be classified as such.

She was one of the Mages, but a rather lousy one when it came to her abilities. She was only a low-level Seer, nothing more.

Clutching her Glock with both hands, she came up the stairs. The screams grew sharper and louder. Plenty of people could be stuck upstairs, but the path leading down seemed clear.

What were they waiting for? Why didn't they just run away and escape? Emma found it really strange.

She slowed her pace, confused by the humans' behavior. It just didn't feel right.

The cool, night air blew into her face as soon as she reached the rooftop. Most of the overturned tables and umbrellas were on fire, chairs broken into pieces. Most of them, ironically, were used by Vampires as stakes. They used them as weapons to kill the humans.

After only a few seconds, she heard an angry roar. "Emma, watch out!"

Immediately she spun around looking for the source of the danger. David was the one yelling at her, probably not without reason. She didn't have to search long, she immediately noticed the fully transformed, nearly six-foot-tall Werewolf charging towards her.

She only had a few seconds to react. Someone was calling her name again, desperation clear in their tone. She couldn't deal with that now, she would help them later… if she survived until then because if she missed, she was dead.

She aimed at the beast as best she could, right between its eyes. Her gun was already filled with silver bullets that would stop it. Assuming she hit it at all…

She pulled the trigger and the bullet hit the wolf, inches from her target, right in one of its eyes. He howled in pain and finally came to a stop. She took the opportunity to shoot half the magazine into the wolf.

She gasped for air, her heart pounding in her throat, and slowly she began to realize that the end of her life was a hair's breadth away. She didn't lower the gun, but still clutched it convulsively. The smoke burned her eyes, tears filled them to the brim, and she could see almost nothing. The wind wasn't helping either, carrying the gray mist right into her face. She gasped as if she had just run several miles and her lungs were thoroughly filled with smoke.

She forced herself to open her eyes and look around. She started stumbling through rubble and bodies, but so far she hadn't seen any movement, only heard the sounds. The battle was definitely not over yet.

She walked blindly for a few yards, but her fingers didn't slip from the trigger for even a second. She had to find Neal and David.

At last, she emerged from the cloud of smoke, but she could only blink her eyes, the world looming around her was quite blurry. Instinctively, she crouched against the barricade, for the hail of bullets was almost as thick as the cloud of smoke. A few of them were barely a few inches from her, and she curled up as best she could.

She tried to assess the situation and find her brother and Neal and the other Hunters she knew. Robin and Leo were only a few feet away from her and they both seemed fine. David, on the other hand, was dealing with a Vampire that was dangerously close to the railing.

He was having a hard time with the creature, she could clearly see that. Without thinking, she instinctively crawled towards him, pressing herself against the barrier the whole time. Silver bullets weren't worth much against Vampires, but at least they slowed them down, and the wounds caused by silver left a mark on their perfect skin.

When she was close enough, she fired three shots at the Vampire. She missed the first, the second lodged in his thigh, and the third slammed into his side. He let out a roar and staggered furiously on the bloodied, slippery floor. He lost his balance, toppled over, and finally, David managed to drive a stake through his already-dead heart.

David didn't even look up, he didn't seem to care where the life-saving shot came from, he immediately moved on to his next task.

There were quite a few Hunters here who she didn't recognize. Slowly but surely, they managed to push the Werewolves and Vampires back towards the flames.

Emma quickly wiped her sweaty brow and looked through the ranks of Hunters once more. Neal wasn't among them.

Her heart squeezed in her chest and she turned her head in alarm, but other than the cowering, screaming humans and corpses, she saw nothing.

She stood there confused and turned her head back around the place. There were no other Hunters she hadn't counted yet, every one of them was heading for the beasts.

A few raindrops fell on her face, the wind picked up, and an inhumanly loud rumble of thunder slit through her ears. Followed by a white light zigzagging through the black sky, blinding her for a moment.

"Neal!" her voice echoed like a hysterical scream, but no answer came.

When she opened her eyes again, a tall shadow unfurled from the cloud of smoke that covered the other end of the rooftop garden.

Immediately, she began to run, racing past the glass dome on the third floor. In the depths of the building, the flames grew larger and larger…

"Emma, stop! Don't!" Neal's voice came from the opposite direction, and she paused, turning away from the smoke and the shadow's owner in confusion.

To her surprise, Neal was standing barely ten feet away from her, shirtless. He never had a habit of showing off his body, no matter how nice it was. He had fine abs (not as defined as David's or Robin's), but now he was covered in blood and soot. Water dripped from him and thankfully, she didn't see any wounds.

"Behind you!" he called out to her.

His voice trembled with fear and he raised his pistol to fire, and for a moment it seemed he was aiming for her head. She turned, but it was too late. The elbow of the fast-approaching Vampire landed on her face.

For a few seconds, everything around her went dark, she felt like her face was going to split in two. She staggered, and suddenly the bloody ground came dangerously close to her face, and soon her head hit the ground with a thud.

She squinted her eyes for a few seconds, and when she opened them again, thankfully the world wasn't spinning in a crazy dance. But she couldn't hear anything. She knelt down and swallowed hard. It was as if a plug had been pulled out of her ears, the sounds returning in one fell swoop. She glanced back at Neal again.

He'd managed to wound the Vampire, but the beast didn't seem to be giving up. He swung his knee into Neal's stomach, wrenching the weapon from his hand, punching him in the face with it. Neal stumbled, but luckily, his legs didn't give out. The bloodsucker grabbed him by the arm, dropped the gun, and whipped out a roughly ten-inch-long blade. He aimed it directly at Neal's heart, but her boyfriend dodged the stab. However, the Vampire held him tight, so he couldn't completely avoid it, the blade digging into his shoulder.

At Neal's scream, her blood froze in her veins, and her hands holding the Glock trembled. Immediately, she took aim at the Vampire. She fired until the magazine was empty. Several bullets drilled into the beast's head and body, and quite a few missed him, too. But she got what she wanted, and the Vampire slumped to the ground. She didn't think he was dead, but she definitely put him out of commission for a while.

Quickly, she rose to her feet and ran to Neal, who was leaning against the barrier, trying to tear the dagger from his flesh. He was panting heavily, blood dripping in thick streams from his shoulder.

She dug out the spare magazine when she reached him and tried to slip it into the pistol, but her hands were still shaking too much.

Then, suddenly, Neal's gun went off. She looked over her shoulder in horror. Five fully transformed Werewolves were galloping toward them. Desperately, she tried to snap the magazine into place, but it was jolting too much in her hands.

She knew she would die if Neal didn't take them out in time, and with his injured shoulder, his aim would hardly be accurate. She tried to force herself to calm down, but the panic coiled in her stomach like an insidious snake. She was finished… They were finished.

Two more shots rang out, and one of the wolves rebounded with a harsh, deep howl. The Glock made a click, and the magazine was finally inserted. She turned to face the monsters. She tried to aim with a clear head, but it was much harder than ever. It wasn't just her life on the line. Hers, Neal's, … and the little one's.

Neal took out the second one with a single shot, and Emma aimed full fire at the one running in front, backing away in the process.

She hit him square in the shoulder, but it was like hitting him with a rock, even though her magazine was filled with silver bullets. Panic rose in her throat and began to thrust backward at double speed. Neal took out the ones closest to them, and she took aim at the ones left behind. If she could just shoot one of their eyes, maybe that one would stop.

She started firing again, trying to focus. But it was too late. They were barely three feet away from her, ready to pounce.

Her body completely locked down, she could only trust in her blind luck and Neal. That was it. Of the two, she had more faith in Neal.

The first wolf leapt up from the ground and nearly swept her away, but Neal's bullets dug into his front legs. He fell forward into the rubble with his muzzle foaming, his legs useless.

She immediately aimed at the next one. This time, she couldn't miss. But the beast was already in the air. It leapt over her head, straight into Neal. She didn't understand why Neal was holding back his power. He could fight off the wolf with his sheer magic, he was powerful enough to simply do so.

Meanwhile, the wounded wolf got up again, but this time his target was Emma. He probably thought the other one would take care of Neal. As she had previously planned, she aimed for the wolf's eyes, but she couldn't hit them. Then the beast was too close to her.

His teeth chattered inches from her throat, and his claws bit into her shoulder. He shoved her away, and she crashed into the barrier. Her side went numb from the force of the blow in moments, but she didn't even have time to comprehend her predicament, the wolf was already towering over her.

She was a hairsbreadth away from having his claws in her stomach as she put the gun to his throat and fired as many bullets into him as she could. The wolf howled, rolling back its eyes, but it raised its huge paw again, and this time it found its target.

Her breath caught in her throat from the blow, and a pained groan escaped her lips. His claws slowly sunk into her stomach, pinning her to the ground, and the wolf weakly opened its jaw, angling for her throat.

Help came from her right, three shots rang out, all hitting the wolf's side. He whimpered one last time and turned away from her…

"Emma, for fuck's sake!" David slid to the ground next to her and knelt down, trembling.

She wanted to ask where Neal was, but her mouth disobeyed. Her brain dulled, she began to go numb. Summoning her remaining reserves of strength, she put her arm around David's neck and forced herself into a sitting position. She screamed against the stabbing pain in her stomach and hunched forward.

"Emma, are you okay?"

It was the dumbest question Neal had ever asked her. But if he was able to ask and, judging by the approaching footsteps, he couldn't be in much trouble…

Her face was streaked with tears, and she tried not to faint. But David suddenly jumped up beside her and ran off.

"David…" she mumbled unintelligibly, then looked up at Neal.

He didn't seem to have suffered another wound. However, he looked immensely exhausted. He was pale and frightened, but thankfully he was walking towards her on his own two feet.

But he, too, stopped and turned his head to the side in surprise. What had they heard that she couldn't?

Finding it hard to keep her eyes open, she blinked shallowly at Neal. He started to retreat to the barrier, his rifle lying on the ground behind him. She forced herself to look back and a sharp cry burst from her exhausted lungs. One of the five Werewolves rushed at him.

The wolf's eyes were bloodshot and every inch of her trembled by his roar, his claws scraping the surface of the ground.

With all its might, it slashed at a helpless Neal. It all happened in a millisecond. The wolf's claws dug into Neal's shoulder, and the momentum pushed them over the barrier. They shattered the glass dome, tangled into each other, and fell into the blazing depths of the building.

[papergirllife]

Down The Rabbit Hole

Xiao De Jun (M)

🎃Happy Halloween,everyone.🎃

*gif credits to owner

*masterlist is pinned at blog.

warnings : unprotected sex, high sex, choking.

Alice in distress,

may the Cheshire cat be blessed.

Community service your mom said, it’ll be great for publicity, which is all she cares about. Your mom is the part of the community of your neighborhood, and let’s just say she loves fulfilling her duties so much that it’s become an obsession of hers to be seen on the local papers for the activities she attend, something like a minor celebrity. Sadly, the moms here all love her, your mom wanted to work a reputation up, since your father left her for someone younger, your mother needed something else to fill the emptiness and lack of accomplishment she’s felt because of him. Hence why you’re trekking in the forest of your town, trying to pick up as much rubbish as you could that were thrown by irresponsible hikers.

“This is all you fault Y/N, if it weren’t for you, we won’t be stuck in this shitty hike in such a cold weather.”

Becca was part of the so called ‘friend group’ of this neighborhood of yours that your mom forced you to make friends with just because she was friends with her mom. You don’t bother answering her nor the deathly glares from her clique to you, you didn’t have any real friends in this town, other than one or two boys you played games with.

It was until the middle of the hike when your mom called for a break, the community members all started to sit down and have a picnic.

“Remember to clean up after yourselves,” your mom said.

You chewed on a sandwich you packed begrudgingly, wishing you had hot food instead, cursing at yourself for not packing food into a thermos. When you finished, you decided to venture further away on your own, unable to stand the not so silent whispers behind your back. You decided to sit underneath a sturdy looking oak tree that looked older than any other tree here. Once you leant back, your back started falling, for some reason, the stem of the tree opened up and swallowed you in, the hole you fell in closing as you fell deeper into the hole. You didn’t scream, you were too scared, you knew you would be dead once you hit ground, so you closed your eyes and waited.

Instead of hitting ground, you fell into something that felt softer than cotton, with a blue glow like the clouds on the sky. Were you dead? You looked around, you were still in the forest, but the forest looked different here. Were these the unexplored parts of the hill?

“How graceful, Alice has nothing on you, sweetheart.”

You screamed, trying to get out of the ‘cloud’, but all you could do was trash in it because of how it’s too soft and big.

“Easy, don’t panic. I’m right here.”

Suddenly, a man around your age appeared next to you, his smile bright and somewhat familiar looking. That’s when the memory came back to you.

“You’re just like the Cheshire cat in Wonderland. Where am I? And who are you?”

“You’re in the other side of the forest, or the whole world, depends on how you see your position geographically. I’m Xiao De Jun, but you can call me Xiao Jun, and I’m a fairy. Oh and another detail? I eat humans.”

“Wait what? What do you mean the other side? What do you mean fairies eat humans?”

“Well, let’s just say fairies aren’t all Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, those stories are told just to induce naive humans like you to fall in our traps. But you’re a pretty one, and you didn’t scream like a darned banshee just now, I might just keep you.”

“Keep me? Get us out of this thing, who said I was an object?!”

“I’ll get us out once we reach my palace, now hold on tight sweetheart, and please don’t scream like a mad woman, or I’ll eat you up in a gulp like the others.”

Xiao Jun booped your nose with his index finger before he leant back with an cynical smile on his face. The cloud floated up high, letting you see the scenery below you clearly. There were cities just like the human world, but instead of metal and blocks, these were held up by wood and magic, because there was no way a building as tall as the Eiffel Tower require no bolts and nuts, and you doubt its transparent like bubble had any glass panes.

"It’s beautiful.”

“It’s nothing compared to the beautiful lady beside me.”

You could feel your cheeks heating up at his flirty remarks. You quickly thought up of something to divert the topic, not being used to receiving compliments out of the blue.

“You said you have a palace? Are you a prince?”

“I’m a king, my father just passed away.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Xiao Jun.”

“For a human you’re quite sentimental, cleaning the forest, not threatening to kill me even though you have a knife in your pocket, and not screaming at me like a mad woman. You’re quite different from what I expected.”

“What do you...

“That’s our stop, less chatter and get a move on, or no mint chocolate ice cream for you.”

Calling Xiao Jun weird would be an understatement, his personality was like a cross of between Marry Poppins and Willy Wonka, and his palace was nothing far from that either, fortress painted with pastel tones, and that fountain was definitely chocolate, the windows looked like panes of thin candy, while the draw bridge was shaped like a milk cracker. The swimming pool at the back looked like it was filled with different flavours of fanta.

“Are you the witch from Hansel and Gretel?”

“Do I look like an old hag?”

Instead of entering from the main entrance, the cloud took you to the back of the castle where there was a balcony which overlooked the pool and the garden. Once you landed, the cloud disappeared beneath you, but Xiao Jun’s quick reflexes caught you before you fell on your butt.

“Welcome to my chambers. I forgot to ask for your name sweetheart.”

“Y/N,” you said as breathlessly, still in shock from your near fall.

Xiao Jun’s room was huge, the walls were mint green while the furniture were all made of dark oak with gold accents, just like his favourite ice cream flavour. You looked up to see a beautiful chandelier that defied the laws of gravity. The candles as well as the whole structure of the chandelier was shaped like an overturned tiered cake, each tier turning at its own pace with different colours flickering on the candles. The bed was just like the cloud you travelled on, just bigger and in a shade of pastel pink that made it look like cotton candy.

“You must really like your sweets.”

“The only human food that actually tastes good. Make yourself comfortable, it’s not like you’re leaving.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m keeping you.”

“You can’t do that! I don’t belong to you!”

“It’s written in the stars that you’ll be my queen, and I don’t have to force you. You’re going to stay.”

“Why would you know that?”

“Because I’ve been watching you and your fate in our stars, you lead an unhappy life in the mortal world, living like a balloon which lost its string, wandering aimlessly, slowly deflating just like your personality. When was the last time you truly enjoyed yourself without your mother giving you disapproving looks? What happened to your dream of being a writer? What happened when you said you wanted to go out for your birthday? What happened when you told her about your anxiety? Oh right, she called you a freak.”

Xiao Jun wasn’t shouting the words in your face, in fact it was gentle like an angel’s singing, yet what he said drizzled into your heart like sweet poison. You let out a chocked sob, you felt naked under his scrutinisation. Xiao Jun observed your life under a microscope, knowing you better than yourself.

“How do you know all of this?”

“I’ll show you.”

Xiao Jun wiped your tears with his expensive button up, the tears making the blue silk turn inky black. He then took your hand in his, guiding you out of his room into a room down the same hallway. Compared to the other odd looking fancy doors, this was bare of any jewels or gold. Xiao Jun turned the knob and led you in the dimly lit room, the room only had a large mirror with red candles on its sides.

“Show me, Lee Hyenji.”

That was your mother’s name.

The mirror flickered a few times before showing you the image of your mother.

“Where is that dumb girl? Always day dreaming and never getting things done. Wandering on her own, I’m just waiting for the day she leaves me like that useless father of hers.”

“Show me Becca Park.”

“I’m soo glad she’s lost, we don’t need to deal with her just to make our mothers happy anymore. She didn’t like hanging out with us anyways.”

Xiao Jun’s eyes flickered to yours to see your reaction, instead of holding sadness like he thought it would’ve been, your eyes were empty, the images on the mirror reflecting in your eyes like shadows in a murky lake.

“Why aren’t you angry?”

“Because they’re right.”

“No, they’re not. Mirror, show me Saved Memories.”

The mirror played images of you working on your short stories, snippets of you singing along your favourite song, as well as videos of you learning a dance.

“You shine like the brightest star in the galaxy sweetheart. Don’t let ducks call a swan ugly. They’re not even in your league, darling.”

“Am I?”

“You don’t need my confirmation, you can see it as well, maybe a flicker here and there, but those little flickers will grow into a  flame if you leave that life of yours. Don’t think too much about it, come, have a shower, I’ll show you to your room.”

Xiao Jun took you down the hall into your room, which was in front of his.

“I made it just like the bedroom in your world, so there shouldn’t be a problem with figuring out the shower. That laptop is yours, as well as those books, they’re the ones you already have and ones that you always wanted to read. The internet’s password is your birthday, yes we have internet access here. I painted the walls with the shade of blue you love, the bed is lilac, since you love that colour as well. There’s clothes from your own wardrobe as well as our clothes, it might be a bit fancy, but you might like it.”

Xiao Jun turned into such a sucker for you, the ‘I eat humans’ was such a front, you couldn’t help but smile at his dorkiness.

True to what Xiao Jun said, the shower was just like a regular shower, and the clothes in the wardrobe were nicely prepared to fit your size, making you wonder how he knew even these little details.

You went out and knocked on his door, Xiao Jun was out by the third knock, his hair now in yellow curls.

“What’s with the hair?”

“This is my natural hair colour, didn’t want to scare you too much just now. Though we really do eat humans, just the hearts, the hearts taste exquisite, according to the old fairies, and only if they threaten to develop that piece of forest. We used to eat humans all the time, until my father put a ban on it, didn’t want to look suspicious.”

There was a look of horror on your face.

“Trust me, only the old fairies eat humans, we prefer animals most times.”

You let out the breath of air you were holding in.

“This is my own private dining room, and tonight we would be having steak and ox tail soup, no humans.”

You manage to let out a laugh at his odd humour, starting to feel more at ease in his presence.

The two of you ate and drank wine, talking about his life as a royalty in his fairy kingdom.

“My mom told me I would have wings, I was so scared I checked my back every night before I slept, until I realised no one had wings and that it was just something made up in the tales.”

After dinner, the two of you danced ungracefully, the wine making your head light and footsteps a mess, giggling at each other’s mistake. After the two of you got tired, Xiao Jun carried you into his room.

He placed you on top of a couch, taking a seat beside you to admire the beautiful stars in the clear night sky.

“Would you like to try fairy dust?’

“It makes you fly? Like Peter Pan?”

“That is only one usage of fairy dust, we eat it as well. Wait let me show you.”

Xiao Jun took your hand and led you to his walk in wardrobe, it was just as big as the room he gave you, but what caught your attention was a mini pool, but instead of liquid, it was filled with swirling sparkling dust.

“Oh my god.”

Since you were drunk, you did the dumbest yet most logical thing ever, jumping into the pool. The dust made you bounce on an invisible force.

“Why am I not flying?”

“You have to give directions in your head, but I wouldn’t recommend doing that, I wouldn’t want to call medic when you hit your head.”

“Right...Jump in, join me!”

Xiao Jun shook his head in disbelief, but jumped in with a smile on his face regardless. Xiao Jun walked to your direction, stopping right in front of you.

“Breath it in.”

You did as he said, the fairy dust making you feel happy and free, as well as a warm feeling in your stomach that you can’t put your finger on once you look at Xiao Jun,, your eyes scanning his beautiful physique. Xiao Jun breathed in the dust after you, his eyes diluting into a darker shade of brown, his senses picking up little things about you that he didn’t before, like the plump of your lips, the curve of your hips under that tight skirt.

“Y/N, I want you.”

Xiao Jun kissed you with fervour, his tongue dipping into your welcoming mouth. Instead of pushing him away like he thought, you kissed him with just as much passion, your hands starting to linger under his shirt. Xiao Jun started to unbutton your top, throwing it out of the pool.

“No bra?”

“This isn’t the mortal world, there aren’t any sex predators here.”

“What about me?”

“This is for you, my king.”

Xiao Jun didn’t know whether this was you talking, or the fairy dust in your system. Xiao Jun marked up the length of your neck, purple flowers blooming in his wake as you started taking off his shirt and pants.

“Why the rush, love?”

“I need you, please.”

The amount of slick flowing onto your legs was too much to be normal, you didn’t know what side effects the dust has, but you just needed relief, and only Xiao Jun could give that to you. Xiao Jun took off your skirt and panties, smiling at that pretty piece of ruined silk in his hands.

“Wonderful.”

Xiao Jun let his hands travel southwards as his lips engulf your breast in his mouth, nibbling and sucking away like a new born, as well as leaving a mark near your nipple, the slight possessiveness sending shivers down your back. Your hands curl in Xiao Jun’s soft locks as he pushes a finger into you, when he could feel how wet you were, he decided to push two more in, curling his fingers at your sweet spot, making you cry out his name breathlessly. 

“Xiao Jun, more please. I need you inside me.”

You grinded onto his bare cock, his pre cum smearing over your slit, egging him to slide inside you.

Xiao Jun, pushed inside you in one go, your wet walls welcoming him. The action made both of you moaning in sync, lust filled relief washing over the both of you, making both of you crave for more. He started moving once you adjusted to his length, you could feel every vein and curve of his length as he bottoms out inside of you. Xiao Jun pushed himself closer to you, feeling you nipples against his own as he thrusted inside of you, the friction making your head spin from pleasure. Xiao Jun couldn’t believe it, after so many years of waiting, he finally had you in his arms, withering under his pleasurable touch. Xiao Jun slides a hand from your hips down to your clit, rubbing quick circles over it. Whimpers of his name fall from your lips like a beautiful piece of music, you were nearing your high as you felt the build up of an orgasm as your toes start to curl, your legs wrapped tighter around Xiao Jun’s waist as your head falls onto his shoulder, the overwhelming pleasure binding your body with his as he continues his thrusts, pace quickening once he felt you nearing the edge. Xiao Jun lifts you higher to thrust into you at a better angle, his tip hitting your sweet spot with every thrust, making you scream his name as your nails dug down his back, the pain mixing with the pleasure fuels Xiao Jun’s desire to absolutely ruin you under his touch.

“Cum for me, Y/N. I know you’re close.”

When you didn’t answer his request, Xiao Jun snapped his hips against yours at an even quicker pace, the speed of his thrusts inhuman, making your head swirl in pleasure as little bits of saliva drip from your lips down your throat as you throw you head back, the sight of the marks Xiao Jun left behind from earlier pushing his need for release. Once Xiao Jun wrapped a hand around your beautiful neck, you lost it. You couldn’t even scream as the pleasure was overwhelming all your senses, blinding white light behind your closed lids, your mind chanting his name like a mantra. Xiao Jun let out a beautiful moan once he felt your walls closing around his length in a vice grip, sending him over the edge as he paints your walls a milky white, his pearly white teeth biting down your shoulder to muffle his noises.

Once your orgasm subsides, you collapsed into Xiao Jun’s arms, energy drained completely by the handsome fairy. Xiao Jun carried you into his bed with the assistance of fairy dust, glad that he didn’t need to wobble into bed supporting your weight as well as his. He adjusted the pillows and blanket to accommodate your comfort, slipping in beside you once he was done, taking you into his warm embrace. Only one thought in his head.

‘You’re going to be with me for eternity, and nothing is going to take you away from me, my love, just like what the stars told me.’

[1dfangirls35]

The Language of Your Soul

An enemies to lovers ballet AU in five acts.

Masterlist

Banner: @booksncoffee​

Warnings: This story (and chapter) will contain language, mentions of emotional abuse from a parent and eating disorders. Please read at your own discretion.

Act III

Six Weeks To Opening Night

Giselle is beginning to feel the toll of playing Odette. Physically, in the form of sore shoulders and a nagging ankle pain. Mentally, in the overwhelming pressure that she would never master the two personalities of Odette and Odile.

Her biweekly extra rehearsals with Harry had become routine. She no longer had to tell her uncooperative partner what time to show up. He was always there, not always enthusiastically, but present.

Their extra rehearsals have helped. Mistress Ivanova stays for rehearsals. Their partnering isn't perfect-but it's less foreign. And Mistress Ivanova has found a new flaw to focus on- the emotion in Giselle's dancing.

Sometimes, Giselle stays late into the evening, standing in front of the mirror and practicing her expressions. Finding out the best way to demonstrate the pain that her character is feeling. It doesn't seem to help. Hours and upon hours of practice don't seem to give Mistress Ivanova, Anna or Viktor the 'emotion' they so desperately seek from her.

But nevertheless she tries again. Today, she stands in front of the shining glass before her rehearsal with Harry. Staring into the icy blue of her own eyes in an effort to show some sort of feeling. It wasn't that she lacked emotion- she felt plenty.

Harry notices Giselle's slim figure as he enters the studio. She's standing in front of the mirror again- making faces. But even in her acting practice, she looks concentrated and focused.

Harry is slowly beginning to learn more about Giselle-not by the words she speaks, but through her actions. The hesitation in her voice when her mother is mentioned. The way she groans whenever she messes up a piece of choreography. That she is always the first one in the studio and the last one to leave.

Harry supposes he has revealed things about himself too. Suddenly showing up to rehearsals for one, likely revealed to Giselle that he did indeed care about his career- contrary to what folks at the Royal Ballet might tell you. He'd stopped making his rounds through the company members, fearful of a second Eliza event pushing him onto thinner ice then he already was here at ABT.

"Don't know if concentrated is the emotion Mistress Ivanova wants from Odette," Harry says as he enters the studio, causing Giselle to jerk away from the mirror. He notices the faintest pink rise in her cheeks.

She doesn't say anything as he removes his sweatpants and slips on his black ballet shoes, making his way to the center of the floor.

"Well, what are we rehearsing today?"

"Act II Pas de Deux- again," Giselle says with a sigh.

Harry doesn't protest, instead he makes his way to upstage left for his entrance. He lets the music take over his movements, telling the story of a Prince crossing paths with a beautiful girl in the woods. But as he dances, his hands firm on Giselle's waist as she pirouettes, penchés and promenades around him, he feels how disjointed her movements are. While her movements were near perfect technically, her face stayed firm and concentrated. She was doing everything right except for the most important part of a ballet- the storytelling.

"Stop," Harry shouts, dropping his arms from Giselle's waist and throwing them up to his head as the music continued in the background. "You make this seem like torture."

Giselle stares at him, her expression a mix of shock and annoyance.

"Torture?" Giselle repeats, sounding offended. "And why is dancing with me torture?"

She crosses her arms in front of her black leotard, fighting her own tongue to keep more insulting words at bay. Here she thought she and Harry were finally developing a partnership and now he was making comments like he had two weeks before. It was an endless cycle.

"You're so focused, Giselle. And technically speaking, your movements are beautiful. But..."

"But what?" Giselle spits, although she's sure she already knows what Harry is going to say. He isn't the first person that has critiqued her on this. And she's sure he won't be the last.

"You aren't feeling the movement. The character. You don't look like Odette when you're dancing. You look like an excellent ballerina who is trying to execute the choreography perfectly."

Giselle doesn't say anything in response. Mostly, because she doesn't know what to say. She knows her dancing is lacking the emotion. And yet, she can't get her mind to stray from concentrating on the next movement, on the technique. One thought of anything but commanding her body to execute a perfect pirouette and her movement failed.

"When's the last time you danced because you loved it? When's the last time you just danced?" Harry asks, his green eyes losing their sharpness for only a moment.

Giselle laughs aloud. Just dancing? She hadn't done that since her earliest childhood. "I don't think that's even part of a professionals vocabulary,"

"Well then you're doing it all wrong."

"Well let's do it again then," Giselle says rolling her eyes. She hated this hot and cold act Harry had on. One day she thought maybe she could tolerate him, the next minute he converted back to asshole she'd first been introduced to.

"No," Harry says suddenly.

"What do you mean no?" Giselle asks, bringing her hands to rest against her slender hips. The confused look on her face only makes Harry smile.

"We are going to do something different for rehearsal today. C'mon."

"What are you doing?" Giselle asks as Harry reaches for his sweatpants, pulling them over his tights before zipping up his hoodie.

"I'm getting ready to go. Think it's a little cold to be walking outside in a pair of tights."

"So you're just leaving now?"

"WE are leaving," he gestures between the two of them.

Giselle stares at him.

"Oh c'mon Giselle it will help. I promise. Just trust me." Harry offers out his hand, waiting for Giselle to take it. She looks at him, and he watches her blue eyes flicker in thought.

"Fine," she sighs, ignoring Harry's outstretched and reaching for her sweatpants on the side of the studio. "But if this doesn't help, you owe me another rehearsal."

Harry chuckles softly. "Believe me Giselle. I'm not going to owe you a thing."

When they exit the studio- the crisp March air bites at Giselle's cheeks, it's only slightly warmer than it has been. Reminding her that although spring is around the corner, winter still has its grasp on the world.

"Can you at least tell me where we are going?" Giselle asks, wrapping her jacket around her tighter, trying to keep pace with Harry's long strides against the New York City pavement.

Harry looks back at her, a grin on his face. "You'll find out in about five minutes. Walk faster- we don't want to be late."

Late for what? Giselle thinks, but she keeps her questions to herself knowing that Harry wouldn't humor her anyway.

Five minutes later they arrive at a red brick building a few blocks from ABT. It doesn't look like anything in particular, and Giselle still doesn't quite understand what's going on.

"Come on," Harry says, opening the heavy black door and gesturing up the staircase. Giselle can hear the faint beat of music making its way down the stairs. But it's not the slow, smooth, classical music she is used to- this rhythm is much faster and more energetic.

Following Harry's lead, Giselle slowly makes her way towards the music. When she reaches the top of the stairs she's surprised to see the black marley floor of a dance studio, but instead of the room being filled with pink tights and black leotards, it's filled with people of all ages dancing around the room and laughing.

"What is this?" Giselle asks, looking towards Harry for an explanation.

"It's salsa class," he says, as if the answer is obvious.

"Salsa?" Giselle asks again, still trying to figure out how this was going to help their Swan Lake performance.

"Did I stutter?" Harry says and Giselle rolls her eyes. "Let's go."

"You know how to salsa?" Giselle asks as they enter the room, setting her jacket on the floor as Harry pulls off his sweatshirt.

"Don't you?"

Giselle shakes her head.

"Well you're going to learn today," Harry says, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the dance floor before she has a moment to protest.

Giselle feels like she's in a foreign place as couples dance around them. The women swaying their hips to the music in fluid movements, their partners twirling them from their fingertips. Each pair that spins past them has smiles plastered to their face, not a single person looking as if they are thinking through each count in their head.

"Tell me again how this is going to improve our pas de deux?" Giselle asks as she watches Harry begin to move his feet side to side.

Harry groans. "Because it will. So are you going to learn or are you gonna just stand there for the next hour?"

"Fine." Giselle sighs, looking straight into Harry's eyes. "Teach me then." She meets Harry in the center of the dance floor.

"Okay. Well first, take this hand and set it on my shoulder," Harry reaches for Giselle's left palm, bringing it to rest on his right shoulder as his palm holds firmly in the center of her back. His hand feels warm against the exposed skin of her lower back. "And the other one..." he murmurs as he grabs Giselle's left hand in his own bringing it to the sides of their bodies.

"Now," he begins, his eyes meeting Giselle's. "The steps are simple. Back, replace, together. Front, replace, together. Back, replace, together. Front, replace, together." Giselle follows Harry's movements as he leads, slowly beginning to understand the cadence of the movement.

Harry counts aloud for the two of them as Giselle commits the movements to memory. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6."

It doesn't take long for Giselle to get the hang of it. She'd tackled much more complicated choreography in a matter of minutes.

"And now," Harry says softly into Giselle's ear- softer than Giselle knew was possible. "We just dance."

At first their movements are calculated- Giselle focusing on the steps, careful not to step on Harry's toes. But as time goes on, her body takes over. The music takes over. And she's just dancing- with Harry's hand firm on the small of her back.

Giselle realizes she'd forgotten what it felt like to simply let the music seep into your soul, to allow your body to move with rhythm, without thinking. It's refreshing. Freeing. Harry and Giselle dance around the room, their bodies moving closer, their movements merging into one. Harry swings Giselle out and she spins back in, laughing. Her gaze lands on Harry's and she's surprised to see a smile across his face. A real smile- not one coming from sarcasm.

Somehow this 'rehearsal' had been exactly what she needed.

As they exit the studio, the cool air feeling refreshing against their sweaty bodies, Giselle speaks. "So how long have you been salsa dancing for?"

Harry shrugs, pushing a stray curl back from his forehead. "A few weeks."

"A few weeks?" Giselle repeats, confused by Harry's answer.

"Found this place one day when I was exploring the area. Seemed like a good way to clear my head and it gave me something to do instead of sitting in my apartment." Harry surprises himself with his answer, he wasn't usually someone who shared aspects of his personal life.

Giselle doesn't say anything, instead walking slowly shoulder to shoulder with Harry along the pavement.

"Well, do I owe you a rehearsal?" Harry questions, even though he already knows the answer.

"Surprisingly, no..." Giselle says. "But..." she begins, glancing at Harry with a teasing smile. "You owe me one tomorrow."

"Okay," Harry replies with a smile and Giselle notices for the first time a pair of dimples on his cheeks.

A few feet ahead, the inside of a dance studio catches Giselle's eyes. A floor to ceiling glass windows giving an intimate view of the dancers from the street. Harry looks on as Giselle stops and watches, her eyes transfixed on the much younger ballerinas. Harry would guess them to be 13 or 14. Young enough to be relaxed but old enough to have control of their movements.

"You can tell so much about a person by the way they dance," Harry muses. His eyes darting from dancer to dancer. "Movements tell you more about a person then their words ever will. The touch of a hand, the smile of a stranger, the way a man in love can't keep his eyes off of his partner from across the room. Dance is all that in one- but bigger, bolder. It's one thing to be told what you are supposed to feel. But to see it, to watch a story be told in front of your eyes with only your own experiences to interpret it. That's the magic."

Giselle breaks her gaze from the dancers and meets Harry's green eyes. "Then tell me something. About how they dance."

"This one in the pink skirt," Harry points, "She's relatively new. She's still trying to learn the technique. Notice how her movements are still a little loose and unrefined. And that one, in the far corner. She doesn't want to be here. Look how weak her movements are. Look how she doesn't even react to the corrections the teacher is giving."

"And well, see that one," he says, pointing to a tall red head in the center of the room. That one is a younger form of Giselle Mason. See how her movements are strong, tense, almost as if she's thinking too hard. That tells me she's a try hard, a perfectionist. She's good, but she thinks she can always be better, so she never loses her focus."

"But that one," this time Giselle's eyes follow Harry's hand to a short, dark-haired girl in a maroon leotard. "That one's the one that loves to dance. She's not the best or the most graceful. She's even got the steps wrong half the time. But look at her face, look at the way her body simply moves. It's almost like you can hear the music just by watching her."

Giselle studies the girl carefully, watching her bronzed arms moving delicately. She can't see the girls facial expressions from this far, but she imagines they would match her movements. She compares this girl to Harry's declared young Giselle, and for the first time she finally understands the criticizing of her movements. With such focus something is lost. It's not something tangible, it's not the technique or the fluidity. But there's something about the girl who just seems to be dancing, the one that is the most carefree, that draws Giselle's eyes back to her again and again. It is in the imperfections that the dancer is truly the most beautiful. The most perfect.

"What about you Harry Styles? What does your dancing tell me about you?" Giselle asks, her eyes studying Harry's sharp side profile as he studies the class.

"You tell me," he answers his eyes not moving from the window.

Giselle thinks for a moment. Harry was a phenomenal dancer to watch, and she wasn't the only one who thought so. It was obvious why he had been dubbed one of the greatest ballet dancers of the present. She remembered a YouTube video she'd watched of him performing in Romeo and Juliet years ago, before she had any idea their paths would cross. There was something about that way he danced, she remembered that made her feel something. Like he was releasing his own own emotions upon the audience through his motions.

"I think your dancing tells me that underneath that hard, prideful exterior, you are just as vulnerable as the rest of us. Because you can't portray emotion so well if you have none can you?"

Harry stiffens. Because she's close. And no one has ever come that close to understanding the pieces that make up his soul before. The pieces he so desperately tries to hide.

He looks at her, her eyes flickering over his for just one vulnerable second before he turns away from the window. "I'm hungry," he states, changing the subject before this girl finds out more then he wants to share. "Let's stop and get a chocolate shake on the way back. I know a great place."

Giselle looked at Harry like he was crazy. She thought he was, suggesting something as calorie filled as ice cream before they continued their rehearsal.

"I shouldn't..." Giselle argues. She knew how tempting that chocolate shake would be. It would go down smooth. Rich and creamy and tasting like heaven. But it wouldn't seem so delicious on the way back up. Or when she had to make up for the calories with extra workouts the rest of the week. Her stomach churns at the image.

"Believe me, this shake is worth the extra calories. And besides, you've earned it. I've never see you dance like that before."

Giselle wonders if that was supposed to be a compliment. Harry doesn't seem to be taking no as an answer on the chocolate shake, so she follows begrudgingly, telling herself that she didn't have to drink more than a few sips. Harry would never know.

Harry was right about the shakes. As they re-enter the American Ballet Theatre building, Giselle has devoured more than a few sips out of the large paper cup, and she silently curses herself for the lack of self-control. She tosses the remaining half in the trash can outside of the studio before she can be tempted any further.

"You aren't going home?" Harry asks as he picks up his bag from the floor where he left it earlier, slinging the thin black strap over his shoulder.

"Home? We've barely rehearsed," Giselle says incredulously. "You may be good to leave but I've got to work for at least a few more hours."

Harry wonders if Giselle had understood anything from their excursion today. For a moment, he'd thought she'd seen it. That she didn't have to try so hard. That she could more gracious to herself. She was dancing just fine. Better than fine even. But he decides now is not the time to argue with her.

"Well, I'm gonna head home for the night. I'll see you tomorrow?" He leans against the doorframe of the studio entrance instantly wondering why he'd phrased his statement into a question.

"See you tomorrow," Giselle says, pulling off her jacket and reaching for the pointe shoes laid next to her bag.

Harry smiles again, and turns away from the door, Giselle watching him as he leaves.

"Wait, Harry!" she calls, rushing to the hall with one pointe shoe on and the other in her hand. "Thank you for tonight. It helped."

Harry shrugs. "Of course." And Giselle watches as he retreats down the hall.

Giselle returns to the studio, tying up her other pointe shoe. She stares at herself in the mirror, the outline of her body reminding her of the chocolate shake that now sat in her stomach. Any pleasure that she had gotten from the creamy ice cream had now turned into disgust. She couldn't rehearse like this. So she makes her way to the bathroom.

Harry realizes once he's down to the street that he's left his phone in the studio. He must have left it near the speaker when he was using it to play their rehearsal music. He lets out a sigh, adjusts his bag on his shoulder and makes his way back up the three flights of stairs to the studio.

He doesn't see Giselle in the studio when he steps back inside, grabbing his phone from where it lay near the speaker just as he suspected. Her stuff is still here though, a black duffle bag in a pile near the corner of the room. He thinks for a moment about calling out to her, wondering where she went off to, but he stops himself. It wasn't as if one salsa class and a chocolate shake had made them friends.

As he walks back towards the staircase, he hears noise from behind the closed bathroom door. He recognizes the sound immediately, a noise he'd heard many times during his years as a ballet dancer, most often from Alice.

The thought of his former partner makes his heart ache, even after all these years. He tries to push her golden blonde hair and green eyes out of his mind, but he can't. The image of the fragile girl he had once been in love with burned in his mind.

Harry considers knocking on the door, making sure Giselle is alright, but he knows from his previous experiences that this would likely not yield any results. She wasn't alright, clearly. But Harry doubted that there was much he could say at this point that would make her feel like she was. So instead he turns back down the stairs and towards his apartment.

Alice's face remains in his mind the rest of the evening.

Harry had met Alice at the age of twelve, when they were still young and impressionable and would stop at nothing to achieve their dreams of becoming principal dancers at the Royal Ballet.

Alice was his first partner. She was the person that taught Harry the importance of trust, the sacrifices a male dancer made to make sure his ballerina looked effortless and that relationships between partners rarely ended well.

But Harry and Alice were young and energetic and they spent hours together working to be the best in their class. It didn't take much, they were both naturally-gifted dancers. But even when they were the best, they didn't stop.

By the time they were thirteen, they were best friends. Harry knew everything about Alice. From her favorite purple leotard, to her favorite ballerina and even her favorite movie (although they didn't have much time for movies at the Royal Ballet School). Alice knew everything about Harry too. About his past and his love for dance and the fact that he absolutely despised adagio for no reason in particular.

By the time they were fifteen, friendship had blossomed into love. Or what they thought of love at that young age. The kind of young, innocent love where nothing was complicated and every moment spent together was the best thing to ever happen to them. They dreamed of dancing together for years, becoming principals at the Royal and working til they retried, then living out their lives teaching the next generation of dancers at the Royal Ballet School. Because they were best friends and they were partners and they knew everything about each other and that was what was supposed to happen right?

But Harry didn't know everything about Alice. He hadn't noticed how as she began to transform from the girl he met at twelve into a young woman she'd begun to loathe her body. He hadn't noticed the way she'd skipped meals or ran a few miles every evening after rehearsals. He hadn't noticed that every time she was corrected about the tone of her arms or the tightening of her core that she'd take it to mean her body wasn't thin enough or she wasn't following the right diet.

Until one day he did. When found her perched over the trashcan after they'd been out for pizza with some of the other students. She blamed it on a stomach bug and said it was nothing. But then he'd heard that noise a second time. And then a third and a fourth and a fifth. Until one day, he came to anticipate the sound of Alice purging whatever meals she was forced to eat.

He confronted her about it one day. Told her that he was concerned about her. That maybe she should talk to someone, the school had people for that sort of thing after all. He told her she was more than thin enough, too thin nearly- but she didn't hear a word he was saying. Instead she was angry at him, for not understanding and even more, he suspected, for never being criticized for his own ballet body.

It tore them apart as a couple. It tore them apart as partners. And one day that trust that Alice and Harry had built so high was broken when she fell from a lift. The fall wasn't far, and for most of people would have only yielded a bruise or two. But Alice's body was fragile and osteoporotic and when she fell she broke her wrist, her bone's as fragile as an 80-year-old woman's from lack of nutrition.

That's when everyone else noticed Alice's struggles. Her parents become distraught, pulling her out of the school and sending her to an inpatient center for individuals with body dysmorphia. Harry thought that when she was done with treatment, she'd come back to the school and they'd be partners again. Their dreams of becoming principal dancers still attainable. But Alice didn't come back, and when Harry visited her one cool day in October, he realized he didn't recognize the girl staring back at him. The ballet world had destroyed her self-image, her self-confidence and worst of all, her love of dance. She could never look at ballet the same way again or Harry.

For a long time, Harry was angry. Angry at himself for not recognizing what Alice was going through sooner. Angry at their ballet mistresses and directors for saying things that made Alice think she didn't measure up, that her body was something different from what it was. Angry at the ballet world for the culture that obsessed with thinness and lightness and pushed dancers to their breaking points. But most of all he was angry that even when he became a principal, it wouldn't be him and Alice dancing out that stage for the rest of their career, like they'd dreamed when they were just kids.

Harry supposed this is why even to this day he didn't trust the ballet world- all the stuff that happens beyond the stage. He was a dancer for one purpose- because he loved the art form. Not because he loved the school or the culture or the people in it. He loved to dance and only to dance. What happened to Alice had proved to him that if you give too much to anything but the stage- everything can be taken from you.

He pushes the thoughts of Alice aside and makes a mental note to be nicer to Giselle. He wouldn't be the reason another person lost dance. Because if Giselle was anything like Harry, dance was the only thing she had.

**********************************************

Giselle notices that Harry is awfully cheery the next day. He slides in next to her on the bar during company class, saying good morning in a tone that causes even Caleb to raise his eyebrow. He compliments her after she rehearses her Act II solo and gives her nothing but praise all through rehearsal with Viktor and Mistress Ivanova.

Giselle grows suspicious. This is not the Harry Styles she knows. This is not even the Harry Styles she had seen salsa dancing. This Harry was cheeky and flattering and...flirty? She'd seen Harry like this before, and usually it was when he was chatting it up with some corps de ballet member he wanted to bring back to his place.

Did Harry think that salsa dancing meant she wanted to sleep with him? Did he think she was just another member of the company that he could 'escape' with? Giselle rolls her eyes at the thought. Had Harry Styles learned nothing about her?

Giselle isn't going to stand for this nonsense. Opening night is six weeks away and there is far too much at stake to play one of Harry's games. She decides if he says anything that isn't sarcastic or rude to her tonight at their rehearsal, she is going to call him out on it. Harry couldn't fool her, not even with those gorgeous green eyes of his.

"Ready for rehearsal?" Harry asks as he enters the rehearsal studio that night. Giselle is already wiping the sweat from her brow after running through the Odile solo three times and so she simply nods.

"Mistress Ivanova seemed really impressed with our Act II pas de deux today," Harry says as he pulls off the grey hoodie he's wearing, the bottom of his toned abs showing as the black tank top he wears underneath pulls up with it. "You were really channeling Odette today, Giselle. Just beautiful dancing."

And there it was. The compliment instead of the sarcastic comment.

"Why are you doing this?" Giselle snaps.

Harry looks at her, his eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because I want to be nice?" Harry replies, trying to figure out just what was the problem with being nice towards Giselle. Would she rather he be an asshole?

"What you whisk me off to salsa dance and then think that you are going to seduce me? Because I'm not going to fall for your act Harry, I know who you are."

Giselle's face is stern and Harry feels at a loss. He didn't know she would react like this just to him trying to be cordial. He wasn't trying to seduce her, Giselle is beautiful, it wasn't that he couldn't see her that way. But something was different with Giselle, something Harry couldn't put his finger on. The last thing he wanted to do was sleep with her and jeopardize their partnership on the stage.

"It's not that Giselle. It's just..." he pauses. Should he say something? There was no other explanation for his niceties. He had to tell her the truth. "The other night, after we salsa-ed, I forgot my phone and had to come back to the studio and I thought I heard you.."

Giselle stops him before he can finish. She knows what he is going to say and she doesn't want to hear it aloud. She feels her face flushing and her hands begin to tremble. She can't do this. She can't talk about this. So she panics.

"You didn't hear shit Harry," she spits, storming to the edge of the room and grabbing her duffle bag. She doesn't even bother to pull on sweatpants or take off her pointe shoes before making her way to the door.

"Where are you going Giselle?" Harry shouts after her as she walks towards the door.

"I'm leaving!" she shouts back. "Mistress Ivanova said she loved our rehearsal today didn't she? No need to force you to practice!" And then she runs down the stairs, leaving Harry standing the hallway.

Harry Styles knows her secret, and she's never felt more exposed.

Taglist: 

@tpwkhoney​ ,  @swtxel , @stylessugarhigh​ ,  @morethanamelodyy​ , @masumiyetimziyanoldu​ , @hhh33-3l​

[figure-skating-watch-party]

JGP Courchevel II

This time I – very surprisingly – decided to watch some ladies for a change so that it doesn’t seem that I live in a cave and so that I can get familiar with at least some of them.

Isabeau Levito - The Swan (Saint Seans) * Russian dance from Swan Lake I saw her at the Peggy Fleming Trophy and just knew she was special. I think a lot of people experience this “skating love” at first sight. For me, it’s Isabeau. Especially her step sequences are beautiful.

Nina Pinzarrone (BEL) - I will wait for you * Frida Nina is only 14 year old! I was amazed by her impeccable stylization into Frida. The costume, the flower crown, amazing spins, good jumps. Just an awesome program.

Kaiya Ruiter - Opportunity by Sia * Mulan I think Kaiya is an example of a skater with very balanced programs. She performs quite well for the spectators and doesn’t do many mistakes.

Ginevra Lavinia Negrello - GoT * La Terre vue du ciel She is a very expressive and mature skater. When it comes to jumps, both programs were quite unfortunate but it doens’t take away from the beautiful music and very fluid moves she does.

Niina Petrokina (EST) - Je n'attendais que vous * Love of my life  Her FP program didn’t go as planned, but I loved her great skating, mature performance and also a beautiful blue costume with red roses in the free.

And now some ice dance!

Solene Mazingue & Marko Jevgeni Gaidajenko - Clint Eastwood, Beggin * To build a home You probably already know that I’m a major hater of this season’s RD but this wasn’t bad at all. There were attempts at humorous choreography?! We take it all. And then in the FD a complete change, very nice calm program, great lift with Marko holding Solene in front of himself just by the upper part of her leg.

Barbora Zelená & Jáchym Novák - Seven Nation Army, Swing Baby * Rain in your black eyes, Fire on fire Awesome straight-line lift on one leg! That would be their trademark. But there were also 8 Ns on basic pattern :( and Jachym had some problems with twizzles (in RD as well as FD).  Good news is that Czech Republic has three junior ice dance teams!! And oh, what a great FD, it suits them much better, it’s much more fluid, the lift went even better.

Isabella Flores & Dmitry Tsarevski - Oh what a night for dancing * Nuvole bianche, Earth song Nice, oh wow what a rotational lift with Isabella hanging around Dmitry’s neck by her leg!, oh yessss, I’m happy it’s a “dancy” RD without streetdance vibes. And so fluid and light in the free, getting a silver medal and even winning the RD portion. What a debut! It’s interesting that they debuted quite late (in JGP terms) because they are both 18 yo.

Noemi Maria Tali & Stefano Frasca - Love is a lie * Always remember us this way I liked their FD, it was more lyrical with a nice spin at the beginning, it’s really soothing… And what an interesting curve lift with her “flying” under Stefano who is in a sitting position.

Oona Brown & Gage Brown - How ya like me now * Muse medley So quick, wiiiild, I liked it. But they were awarded only one yes on the blues pattern and the first half was deemed to be only basic?! That’s quite surprising, but it’s the beginning of the season. Good powerful skating in the free dance!

Eva Bernard & Tom Jochum - Black Swamp village * Kaleidoscope They are part of the Villard-de-Lans skating school and one of the many talented French junior ice dancers. This school produces some quite unconventional programs and I love it! Great blues, very defined finished moves. It’s a really enjoyable and crazy RD! And OMG the FD it’s like a mix of African woodoo and Indian tones it’s awesome. They are in synch, admittedly the music may be weird but they thrive! It was awesome. Such detailed choreography.

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: barbie movies as troupe plays part 1 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw

𝐚𝐧: if you think i won’t do all 36 barbie movies, you’re wrong. regardless of whether people want this or not. i have barbie brainrot 24/7. i’m just separating it into parts so it’s not too long *this isn’t meant to be that serious y’all my reasons vary from legit to just jokes

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥: i won’t go in-depth with any plot differences from movie to play, or how the characters would work out... for now *chuckles in future ppt*

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏: nutcracker, rapunzel, swan lake, princess and the pauper, fairytopia series, magic of pegasus, barbie diaries, island princess, three musketeers 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐: coming soon 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑: coming soon

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! spring x autumn. one of the seasonal events/scouts for A3! has a nutcracker theme, and to avoid spoilers that’s all i will say :3

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: since this is based on barbie’s take on the nutcracker, changing up the cast from what tsuzuru had in plan:

clara/sugarplum fairy: sakuya. i want to see him go through a costume & hair transformation sequence, not gonna lie. 

nutcracker/prince eric: juza. obviously he has to be the ruler of the land of sweets.

mouse king: sakyo or chikage. i want one of them to wave around a sceptre and say quotes like “i’ll reduce the Nutcracker to a pile of splinters"

pimm: taichi... pimm is a spy :O who has to do dirty work :O but the real reason is i just want taichi to follow around sakyo again or maybe even chikage this time lol

major mint & captain candy: tsuzuru and citron respectively. mint is pretty serious and awkward, candy is a lot friendlier- i just think it’ll be a good way to insert some humor in the play

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! summer x autumn.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: rapunzel in this one actually is the “servant” of gothel. also, rapunzel has a magical paint brush and also there’s dragons. who are purple. 

rapunzel: kazunari. obviously. actually, kazu has a lot of similarities with her: a good artist, patient, adventurous, quick thinking, hardly ever complains- also he’d look good with long hair i think ><

gothel: omi. there is an action fighto scene + also just the theme of omi playing villains lol... also THERE’S A SCENE WHERE GOTHEL PRETENDS TO BE RAPUNZEL BY WEARING A LONG WIG AND BOI- KAZU AND OMI’S BODY BUILDS ARE SO DIFFERENT BUT IT’D BE FUNNY IF THE PRINCE FALLS FOR THE TRAP ANYWAY

penelope: kumon. a PURPLE funny and clumsy dragon- fight me, the only answer is kumon especially once you see who’s next.

hugo: juza. a PURPLE dragon who’s penelope’s dad but he’s gonna be the older bro in this one (i wonder why...) 

hobie: a passive and worrisome rabbit... Tenma.

prince stefan: he also has a couple fight scenes... ngl bc stefan has blue eyes, light brown hair + described by the wiki as “fierce”, he’s banri. 

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: winter troupe. i will stand by this forever. 

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: this is like one of the ones i’ve had figured out for a while already...

odette & odile: tsumugi. i’m just saying, tsumugi’s duality- he can do both the white and black swan because he has power. impact.

prince daniel: not tasuku bc spare him the prince roles he’s sick of it. guy. why guy? because he obviously has a good idea of how to act like a prince :3 

rothbart: HOMARE! I WANT! THIS MAN! TO PLAY THE ANTOGONIST! GO OFF ABOUT DARK ARTS! TRANSFORM EVERYONE TO ANIMALS LIKE THE EXTRA BEING YOU ARE.

fairy queen: azuma. ugh just- imagining how ethereal he’d look.

erasmus: tasuku. he’s a troll that can act mean, but is genuinely kind and helpful... also, the VA of erasumus is also the VA for “unnamed burly villager” and i’m just saying-

kelly the cygnet: hisoka. there’s too many animal children, so hisoka is gonna be the baby swan. uwu. also, kelly has a quote, “I can't sleep.” and wOW THE IRONY

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: WE’RE GOING FOR THE COMEDIC ROUTE WHAT’S UP SUMMER. reason: i went “wait... no actor really looks super alike though.”

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: tafahfuoahoaf it’s my favourite barbie movie... OKAY SO THE RUNNING GAG OF THIS IS THAT THE PRINCESS & PAUPER DON’T LOOK ALIKE, BUT EVERYONE KEEPS GOING “Wow! you two look so identical!” no they don’t

anneliese: muku. first of all please look at the sprite i used in the header. anneliese = pink = muku. she’s the sweet princess archetype... but in this version she also goes on tangents about rocks and mineraLS AND HOW THE MINING INDUSTRY SUX AND THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY OF-

erika: kumon. first of all, the sprite in the header again. erika = blue like ugh this is perfect. ALSO erika has a cat who BARKS and i just imagine kumon talking to her cat like: WOOF WOOF WOOF GRRR GRRR and the dog responding and everyone in the palace going wtf

king dominick: i had such a crush on him anyway he’s tenma. rich, young, talented king who disguises himself as a page so he can find love for realsies. im just saying. he won’t be tenma’s only role tho ><

julian: kazunari. the wiki went “he’s the only bestfriend a barbie MC ever married” really shook me like ugh friendship dynamic between muku and kazu roles??? also kazu’s genuinely smart so him as the tutor was just gucci in my eyes

preminger: misumi. FIRST OF ALL PREMINGER IS ICONIC? WHEN HE SANG HOW CAN I REFUSE I WAS LIKE UGH KING. i just wanna hear misumi play an antagonist that’s also funny and do things with his voice.

madame carp: yuki. a bossy and rich woman who owns a dress emporium. pretty much it.

nick & nack: YUKI AND TENMA. THEY WILL DOUBLE ROLE FOR THE SAKE OF BEING MISUMI’S DUMB UNDERLING DUO

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: spring troupe. i wanna see them have wings uwu.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: just gonna combine the whole fairytopia series into one 

elina: itaru. first of all, pink motif. also i just like the idea of itaru being this recurring protagonist.

bibble the puffball played by kamekichi

laverna: recurring villain citron. for no reason other than i think it’s cool when he plays power hungry villains

enchantress: i just want sakuya to play a role that’s more of a “powerful character” but still really kind uwu. another recurring good guy.

azura & glee: tsuzuru. elina is azura’s apprentice, and glee is a friend who’s generally really happy... ngl, i wanna see tsuzuru play someone more energetic for funsies

nori: masumi. nori is kind of a stubborn and jealous person at first, him and elina won’t get along right away BUT DAMMIT THE ENEMIES? TO FRIENDS IS GUCCI!!! 

merman prince nalu & linden: chikage... yeah i just gave chikage the guy roles ngl... but i wanna see chikage as a handsome merman AND handsome fairy so *shrugs*

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: cross troupe. spring x winter.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: partially based on the ice-skating cards (i have yet to read the event story, unfortunately).

annika: tsuzuru. i thought it’d be fun to cast tsuzuru as a more sheltered character due to annika’s parents’ protectiveness. the contrast y’all.

shiver: sakuya. shiver is a polar bear cub sidekick who’s friendly and likes shiny things and that’s just... really cute... put bear ears on sakuya...

brietta: guy. brietta is annika’s older sister... who got transformed into a pegasus by the villain... i wonder how they’d change the pegasus thing lol

wenlock: tasuku. NOT GONNA LIE- i want tasuku to play the villain for all these wonderful one-liners: "Oh, smile! You didn't lose a daughter; you've gained a pet!", and "I thank my lucky stars I didn't marry you!"

prince aidan: masumi bc i want more roomie interaction on stage i mean their friendship keeps getting cuter and cuter.

cloud queen: azuma... that’s all. i just remembered her bc her hair has a braided crown, and i went “azuma braided hair brainrot”

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! summer x autumn.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: i was gonna make it full autumn, but then the age casting felt awkward since they’re in high school...

barbie: taichi. barbie here is shy but wants to stop blending in the background! i just went “damn that do be resonating”. also i wanna hear taichi sing more y’all and barbie is a singer/guitarist here

courtney: azami. i like the idea of azami playing a spunky character who’s more of a tomboy, but still does like fashion and accessorising and... lip gloss?

tia: misumi? tenma? idk the intelligent and passionate archetype is very broad... especially in a high school setting

kevin: kazunari. just the whole best friend thing + kevin being a goofy person who loves to make ppl laugh ugh

racquelle: yuki. i know racquelle’s a bully here and say not to bullying... but sharp tongue.

todd: honestly? todd was so boring in the moving. we need someone like banri to give him CHARACTER!... yes that’s my reasoning ugh

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: sUMMER SUMMER SUMMER-

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: AHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CASTING? MY REASONINGS FOR THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR ARE SO SHALLOW LMAO

ro/rosella: “a 16 year old girl who can talk to animals! adventurous and brave” me: *gasps* mISUMI-

prince antonio: “prince antonio loves travelling and exploring-” okay yeah it’s kazu...

queen ariana: i just want yuki to sing to me “love is for peasants which we’re obviously not” and i’d go :O also ngl... i wanna see yuki in like darker palettes and plotting to poison all the royals

princess luciana: queen ariana’s daughter... played by muku. because i wanna hear muku counter yuki with “all the shoujo mangas books i’ve read, all the poems always said, that the heart is made to share...”

sagi the red panda & azul the peacock: honestly, just basing it off of colour matching but tenma is sagi and kumon is azul lol

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: AUTUMN x SPRING

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: AHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CASTING? pt 2 

corrine: i keep wanting to put sakuya in these roles oops. i just... let him sword fight on stage again :>

viveca: purple musketeer, artistic, designs clothes... fights with ribbons... you know, for the sake of banri being a fAshIoNisTa... it has to be banri y’all "Don't mess with the animal print dress!"

aramina: green musketeer, fights with fans, romantic and loves ballet... pfft, for the sake of “wouldn’t it be funny-” it has to be azami. poor bby, having to swoon over romance on stage- he can’t relate

renee: chikage. purely because of that scene where she threw a feather duster (?) at a flying shard of glass and perfectly hit it. yeah.

helene: the old and strict instructor that teaches them how to be musketeers... sakyo.. duh.

philippe: the main antagonist... it has to be omi again. and since philippe has a goatee, we’re bringing back facial hair omi~

prince louis: itaru, lol. he’s like the one significant non-action oriented character in the film. he has just enough moments where itaru still looks princely, but mostly? he just wants humans to fly y’all.

want to order again?

[madforskating]

We Didn’t Start the Fire (Figure Skating Edition)

Sonja Henie, Salchow, Dick Button, Choctaws

Axel Paulsen, tracing figures, Sabena 548

Protopotrovs, Dorothy Hamill, Peggy Fleming, flying camel

Wedge cuts, triple lutz, no room for the second-rate

 Carmen is a new hit, gold for Katarina Witt

Double Brians, Browning’s quad, Hamilton defies the odds

Yamaguchi saves the day, Ito’s axels pave the way

Tonya Harding, lifetime ban, Baiul edges out Kerrigan

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it but we tried to fight it 

Jayne Torvill, Chris Dean, Bolero for the winning team

Gordeeva, Grinkov dominating pairs

Ice dance drama, Russian win, Grishuk’s seeing Zhulin

Surya’s backflips give everyone a scare

 Nagano, Lipinski screams, Sarah Hughes, Olympic dream

Salt Lake pairs, double gold, goodbye to the 6.0

French judge taking bribes, Morozov’s got a new wife

Mishin’s boys can’t get along, watch out for newbies Pang/Tong

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it but we tried to fight it

 Sasha Cohen, Michelle Kwan, Johnny Weir the black swan

Barbara’s glare, looks could kill, Lambiel’s inventing skating skills

Yuna Kim, Mao Asada, Joannie wins bronze for her mama

Lysacek, quad debate, the world wants Tess and Scott to date

Zueva’s going 1-2, Tohoku earthquake, Worlds gets moved

Volosozhar and Trankov meet, Carolina’s back on her feet

Yuzu’s off to senior Worlds, Ando has a baby girl

Patrick Chan, three for three, heading into Sochi

Quad twists, death spirals, Jason’s Riverdance goes viral

Gracie Gold, U.S. crown, Russia’s got new kids in town

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it but we tried to fight it

Lipnitskaya, red coat, now we’re calling Hanyu GOAT

Plush withdraws, crazy fans, first medal for Kazakhstan

Davis, White, Shcheherezade, men are stacking up the quads

Pink Panther, Masquerade, were the ladies’ judges paid?

 Broadway songs with words allowed, Wagner ends the US drought

Pooh bears, Glitter Twins, Virtue/Moir back again

Seimei, matador, Zhenya on the hunt for more

Montreal, ice dance, Savchenko’s got a new man

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it but we tried to fight it

Osmond’s on the comeback trail, Mother Gothel’s girls don’t fail

Tutu queens, backload, Karenina came so close

Sexy lifts, Moulin Rouge, dress malfunction, Shape of You

Rippon, Radford proudly gay, ShibSibs repping Coldplay

 Vera’s wetsuits, Sui and Han, North Koreans, Wakabond

Eteri’s furs, Mirai’s revenge, Virtue/Moir still just friends

Hanyu wins, Spain is proud, Russian flags are not allowed

Savchenko – Olympic champ, Code of Points getting revamped

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it but we tried to fight it

Ashley Wagner, #MeToo, Nathan’s got homework to do

Shoma needs a coach now, Tarasova still screams out loud

Karina Manta, Amber Glenn, rainbow girls are rising

Kostornaia’s Juliet, Denis Ten, we won’t forget

 Bootleg streams, geoblock, snake charmer Madi Chock

Moskvina’s still a tiny queen, French fed hits the guillotine

Yuzuru gets a grand slam, yellow shirts for Rocketman

Coronavirus, season’s over, can’t get off this rollercoaster

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it but we tried to fight it

[nostomannia]

"...."

"Something feels very wrong."

[dragonrajafanfiction]

The Red Well: (Part 4) Merry Christmas

Here we go yo. Thanks for reading

You really thought you had Herzog pinned. But Herzog knew you too well. Even though he wasn’t sure how you’d escape the well, he had calculated that you would and prepared not a deadly trap, but a non-lethal but extremely strong net. He knew your Soul Skill and he likely attracted you up here intentionally, to get you out of the way.

In fact, he was so prepared that you saw a massive wall of large dump trucks that you figured were full of deadpool. While you were down in the well with Ruri, these trucks were already parked as a barricade for any further escape. 

You smile up at him, completely bound in super strong and extremely sharp nanofiber. It was engineered to tighten as you struggle. If you wanted, you could probably break it but only at severe injury. Already the near invisible threads were cutting off your circulation. If you continued to struggle, you would probably lose limbs as the threads cut through completely.

You smile up at him peacefully. “Ahh… you got me.” You say in a soft voice.

Herzog was wearing a slim-fitting tuxedo with straight suit pants and a bright purple shirt, a white silk bow tie, and black and white brogue shoes. Herzog crouched next to you and stroked your hair. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I hope you can have a bit of a chat!”

“Of course!” You say brightly. Your heart is beating but you feel a weird mix of joy and chagrin. You wanted to kill him but he’d knocked you flat, and you weren’t even angry.

Herzog put away the gun, pulled a knife and neatly cut the fiber. You glanced at the blade but didn’t say anything. Something strong enough and sharp enough to cut these strings wasn’t ordinary. Cutting those threads was a clear threat not to misbehave. You sit up and he helps you up with one hand behind his back like a gentleman.

A table was already set up on the engineering lift platform. There were candlelights on a white table cloth and a bottle of Red Label vodka with two glasses and ice. “For me? You shouldn’t have!”

“My work took me away from the wedding! I had to make it up to you somehow. I had a friend record it for me. It was quite beautiful.” Herzog pulls out a chair and you sit down smoothing what was left of your dress. Herzog sits across from you.

He had a front row seat over the heart of the storm, but the scene below was so calm. A curtain of huge raindrops hit the bloody battlefield and make ripples on the red lake.

Chisei Gen and Ruri Kazama walk slowly around in a circle, as if this is the stage where the actors say their long-written dialogues. Ruri Kazama walks silently, the wind pulling his robes away from him like a frail maiden, while the dragon-type Emperor Gen Chisei makes a heavy sound like an armored warrior.

You take a sip of the vodka and feel its warmth radiate down your throat. Herzog was relaxed, tranquil as a Buddha. Right now, you could ask Herzog anything you wanted and he’d probably answer honestly. He’s won and you were going to die. So you switch to your familiar home Russian language and call him softly, like you used to in Black Swan Bay. “Doctor.”

He turned to you. His face was still covered in the white mask.

“Why… do this? You’re so smart. You could do anything. You could change the world in countless ways. You could stop everything now and … go cure cancer or end world hunger… or something”

He closed his eyes and laughed, speaking to you in that voice from your childhood. “Those are all very high level aspirations… but the world is very basic, my dear. Dragons ruled thousands of thousands of years and, even though they were defeated, they are so enduring that they will rise again eventually. When that end of humanity comes, only those who are on the dragon’s side will endure.” He replied.

“So you … want to endure. Then… When humans win, will you go back to human’s side?”

He picked up a cigar and lit it. “If humans win again. Once the Black King rises, he might do with them what he did with the White King. Or… attempted to do. Now… more to your point about … stopping now.” He breathed in and let out a puff of smoke. “Let me ask you this. If I did stop now. Let’s say, I decide that I don’t want what I’ve pursued all my life. What then? Would you let me live my life peacefully? Just walk away and cure cancer?”

You’re silent for a moment. It was unlikely. Even if you didn’t pursue him and forgot he existed, there was no doubt that Cassell and the Japan Branch wouldn’t forget and pursue him.

“You see, you could pass a merciful judgment, but the people over you.” He pointed up to the sky. “They feel differently, so your judgement has no standing. You do not make the rules or the decisions here because you don’t have the power. Only those with the power can make the rules. So no, I cannot stop until I am over all and no one can challenge me. That is the way of evolution.”

“I disagree with your views on evolution…”

“Go on.” He puffed again.

You’re getting suspicious of his lack of urgency. Wasn’t he watching the clock a minute ago? “You say that Evolution is just the weak against the strong, that it’s just the strong devouring the weak. But even the weak have strategies or else they would die out. If the strong stop adapting to the strategies of the weak, they die out. If the strong become too strong and devour everything, they die out. Evolution is about balance and equal competition. Your theory of evolution has no balance. Your way of thinking, this one way pursuit of greater strength, will not destroy the world or devour the weak. You will just die out once you run out of food. Surely, you’ve considered this.”

He smiled. “It feels good to discuss these topics with you. You’ve always been possessed of great spirit and intelligence.” 

“You’re changing the subject.” You grumble.

“If I die out, then it means I have been unable to change the world, and it will be a fitting end for me. Now, I have a question for you, my dear.” He reached up and took off his mask. 

You gasp. “Bondarev? … w...wait.” Under the mask was not Herzog, like you expected but the face of Tachibana! You tilt your head. “I figured you escaped the fire…” It hits you again, harder this time.

Herzog waits, smiling watching the magic unravel in your mind.

“At Tokyo tower. The other body was a fake. No… it was a real body but a different person. Wearing a mask. You were controlling a body double? To make them pretend to be you? You did that from up here too? You never entered the Red Well yourself.”

“Body doubles are a common spy practice. After I escaped the fire that killed the identity of Tachibana and Bondarev in the mind of Hydra, I was able to suppress Ruri while I completed my preparations.” He said. “I see you weren’t quite fooled. But you still believed Bondarev was alive as an individual. No… I killed Bondarev long ago and assumed his identity.”

“I see. So you were aware of Hydra’s and The Devil Clan’s activities.” You say, sinking into your chair.

“Indeed, I created both organizations to complete my work. Now I need to ask my question. How did you do it? How did you escape Black Swan Bay?”

Your mind was still flipping through your memories. Herzog knew from the beginning, from the moment you arrived in Japan, that you were here, that you were alive. Through his Hydra contacts, he knew your every move. When you met Ruri, he tracked you again through the Devil Clan. No wonder he knew where you were to send Hydra operatives after Chance in the park. He knew ...everything. Everything was his fault. All the pain, all the sorrow and loss and danger and struggle. He was behind all of it. One hundred percent.

You answer his question. “I wish I could tell you how I came here today. But I don’t know. I fell into the ocean.” You said. “Even though the ocean was frozen solid that time of year, there was a gap in the frigid water that I fell through that was created when the Lenin ship arrived to take the dragon specimen away. I must have been encased in ice for those 20 years. But I don’t know how anyone found me and I don’t know how I lived.”

“So there’s someone else out there who knows about the unnamed port?” He looked at you. 

You nod. “He’s been pulling my strings from beginning to end. To this day, I don't know what his aim is.”

Herzog was silent and his face grew serious. “Is he here?”

You answer. “Probably.”

An unnamed piece of the puzzle, another variable!

There’s an explosive boom and you’re suddenly pushed out of your chair and launched back. Pain explodes in your abdomen and you’re surrounded by a cloud of poisonous mercury vapor! Herzog rises again, his mask over his face. He snuffs out the cigar. “I’m going to miss you.”

Herzog is carrying Western Watch, the pistol with a huge muzzle that could fire explosive mercury rounds and is extremely effective against Deadpool.

You stagger to your feet, gasping. You try to summon your abilities through the blood of Ruri Kazama. Your eyes flicker, but that surge of power never comes. Surrounded by mercury gas, you’re weakened. The wound in your stomach is gaping and pouring blood. The skin around it is turning white and the scales are falling off! A cough stings your lungs and splatters your dress with red. 

Ruri’s blood was only a temporary solution. Ruri had warned you. You couldn’t stay apart from him for long without your condition deteriorating. It seemed that while you chatted with Herzog, you were weakening rapidly.

A low chuckle came from the fog of mercury. It seemed to come from left, from right. Like he was moving so fast to keep you guessing where he would appear. But you didn’t need to rely on your ears. Those spiritual tendrils were still in the ground. You could feel the vibration of his steps.

Behind you! You whirl and you’re suddenly gripped in a hug. But this wasn’t a friendly, loving hug of a father. This hug shoved a dagger in your back. It squeezed you so tightly you couldn’t breathe. It squeezed so tightly your bones were starting to strain!

Something hard was pressing against your chest and shoulder. They weren’t the King’s bones, but something under his jacket. Your eyes widen and turn bloodshot and then they turn bright fiery gold! Snakes slither about in your mind and reveal piercing golden eyes!

If you used blood rage now, there would be no turning back. But it was fine since you were going to die anyway. You would die on your terms and take Herzog with you!  Your dragon blood surged rapidly. Your whole body becomes covered in fine scales one by one, your knotted muscles protrude like iron bars. 

Had Chu Zihang been here to help you, he would have told you that Blood Rage comes in degrees.  You’d never be able to ascend to be a pure blooded dragon this way, but you would come very close. He would have told you that, like a very fine grain of sand, your humanity cannot be crushed and, as a result, you will be a Deadpool, not a dragon. He would say you ascended from nothing to the highest level, Third Degree of Rage!

But that was more than you needed to tear through Herzog’s fine suit. Your bones fractured to twice their normal joints and those bones all move independently. Hundreds of barb-like bone spikes penetrate his body all at once!

He pushes you away with a mighty yell and kicks you so you skid across the dirt. He’s bleeding in countless places. The whole front of his suit is stained red. But those wounds rapidly heal and the bleeding stops.

He’s frowning, irritated, and a bit disappointed in you for sacrificing your life so pointlessly.

But you’re laughing as you stagger to your feet. Your heart is gleeful, so gleeful that you shout. “Merrry! Christmas! Merry Christmas, Father Frost!” in Russian.

Herzog scowls but then he smiles brightly, looking like the Herzog he always was. “My, my… you’re quite the powerful deadpool aren’t you! It’s been a pleasure. Now. I must go. Time is short!”

He reached into his jacket and frowns. He pats his jacket and pants and then stares with horror as you stand there holding those two dark colored pieces of wood in your hands.

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

You’re laughing, your hot dragon breath coming in a fog.  “MERRY GODDAMN CHRISTMAS!”

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The trucks that surround you come alive with the sounds of babies crying. But these babies were big and strong enough to rock these 10 ton vehicles off their wheels. Gigantic serrated claws tear through the metal like they were tearing fine linen and hundreds of eyes glow golden in the dark and the rain. Every single truck was filled with deadpool nearly a hundred each! With at least 10 trucks they were about a thousand! These were the last of Herzog’s creations. After today, he wouldn’t need them any more and he had wanted to use them on you. But you had stolen that power.

The deadpool fall over each other in a mad dash, tumbling out of the trucks in a pile and rushing towards the cliff, dragging their heavy snake-like bodies on the ground, driven by the sound of the clapper. You back into the crowd of them as they rush Herzog. Herzog himself doesn’t bother to run. He knows there’s no escape from the trap that he himself set.

He looked at you and smiled one last time. “Perfect. Merry Christmas, MC.”

Then he was engulfed by the seething mass of golden bodies. They shredded his suit, dismantled his bones and ate his flesh. They took the mask and shattered it like it was so much pottery. Herzog could not come back from this. You smile and watch, filling with triumph and a bit of sadness.

Your time was up. You were going to lose your mind any minute. Even now, the strong pull of the blood of Herzog was drawing you to see what it might taste like. But you had a feeling that once you started licking that blood you could never go back. You tapped the woodblocks in a second pattern, one you were familiar with that was used to control the children, and the deadpool were seized with epilepsy, wailing and hissing and screaming until they fell silent, flopped to the ground all at once like empty wooden dolls.

You staggered over to the lift elevator and pressed the button. The mental tendrils of your Soul Skill are telling you that no one was moving in the well. In fact, Chisei and Ruri Kazama were just staring each other down, but you didn’t hear voices other than Ruri’s soft singing.

“Ruri… Herzog is dead. I killed him for real…” You say once you’re at the maintenance platform again.

Ruri is standing there, his smile stretched in horrible joy. Chisei faced him. He didn’t move or speak or acknowledge your presence. You step around them looking between them. Ruri’s eyes were spinning with bright gold mandalas. When you look into Ruri Kazama’s eyes, the Red Well disappears and you’re plunged into darkness.

You feel paralysed. You can’t move. Your eyes roll around in fear and you startle as you see at least 12 women. They were beautiful but they were frozen like statues and dressed in elaborate kabuki costumes. You count twelve of them. You were the thirteenth statue.

You seem to be in some sort of basement. Discarded equipment sat dusty against the wall. And there were old dirty gym mats on the floor. It smelled horrible and that horrible smell was coming from a cast iron tub in the center of the room that was filled with chemicals. And in front of that tub, Chisei sat, looking human again, looking much younger, wearing the black trenchcoat of the Executive board, with his Spider Fang sword in his hand. He was staring at the door of the basement, as though waiting for someone.

[tf2-headcanons-and-scenarios]

How about mercs with a s/o who is secretly a ballerina? Just how would they react with that information?

A/N: I can say with lots of confidence that I liked Heavy, Spy and Pyro’s headcanons with this the most. Hope you enjoy!!

Scout:

- Scout has never seen a Ballet before, so he has no sort of clue on the situation

- When he discovers the fact that you can dance, he goes crazy about it and tries to dance with you

- In your excitement from his excitement, you agree to dance with him

- While you try to do Ballet, he’s doing an inhuman mix of the Carlton and whatever it is he considers ‘dancing’ (Mainly the Carlton)

- Both of you are awkwardly dancing different dances as Scout realised that your definition of dancing was different to his

- You introduce him to Ballet and try to inform him about it, but he’s just even more confused

- Don’t worry, he’s really proud of you, just really confused

- To help him understand, you invite him to a show you’re a part of and he happily agrees to go

- On the day of the show, Scout is stuffed into an auditorium in an equally stuffy suit

- He stops hating the necessity of formal attire when he sees you dance

- He is your biggest fan, and he tries to dance Ballet with you, even if he’s sloppy and no good at it

- You bet your ass that this Boston Boy is going to BRAG about you to everyone he sees

Soldier:

- Soldier only knows 2 things about Ballet: That it can be associated with Communists, or that it can be associated with the cowards known as ‘The French’

- He proudly announces this whenever a conversation involving dancing comes up within the group

- When the group decides to go to a Ballet show, the only ones to decline the invitation are you and Soldier, much to his delight

- Against all the odds, Spy manages to convince Soldier to go

- He doesn’t try to convince you to go because this bastard KNOWS your secret

- Soldier is forced to silently protest against Ballet as he sits awkwardly in a theatre in the best-looking suit he can borrow from Demoman that’ll fit him (Soldier’s suits are NOT suited for any occasion anymore)

- His mind shuts off when he sees you on stage dancing beautifully to the music

- At first he feels betrayed that you’re dancing in a Ballet, but then he finds himself never taking his eyes off of you

- He begins to actually enjoy Ballet. That is, until you’re not on-stage anymore, then he starts hating it again

- When you meet up with the rest of the Team the following day, Soldier is asking you A LOT of questions, like how you learnt Ballet and when your next show was

- Soldier still believes that Ballet is for Communists and French cowards, but when no one else is around he’ll sheepishly ask you to do a few moves for him

- You find his reaction to you dancing Ballet absolutely adorable

Pyro:

- Pyro is already secretly good at Figure Skating, of course they haven’t told anyone about it

- They know exactly what it means to keep a secret from everyone, especially a secret invoking some form of dancing

- When they accidentally walk in on your practicing your Ballet, they freeze and half-expect you to keep dancing

- You stand there uncomfortably until you clear your throat and ask if they need anything

- Pyro starts clapping instantly and keeps jumping up and down as if they were filled with springs

- They will ask you question after question after question, each filled with childish-like curiosity and wonder at your skills as a Ballerina

- “When did you learn Ballet?” “What’s your favourite costume to wear?” “Do you perform in front of everyone?” “Does anyone else know? Because they should!” “Can you dance for me one day? I think you’re absolutely beautiful when you dance!”

- You’re both flattered and overwhelmed by the questions

- Pyro eventually tells you that they figure skate, and you’re just as happy for them as they are for you

- You both dance with each other off the ice for both the fun of it and for practice

- You are both each other’s biggest supporters

- You both watch each other perform no matter when or where you both are

- Pyro asks you to teach them Ballet, they really want to dance with you properly

- You find it adorable when you catch them trying to copy your routines on skates. Even if they fall, they don’t stop trying, and it warms your heart

Demoman:

- This man cannot for the life of him stay up to watch a Ballet. He will fall fast asleep as an effect of boredom, fatigue, getting drunk on whatever alcohol the theatre serves him or a weird mix of all 3

- He can, However, appreciate those that do Ballet, and he’s quite impressed with how people can be so graceful and light on their toes

- Despite the annoyance you get from finding out that Demo passed out during each show, you find it amusing that every single time he went to see a Ballet, you were also performing that night

- You eventually tell Demoman that you’re a Ballerina on the side, and this man doesn’t believe you for a second

- He finds out for himself on his own terms when he catches you practicing a few moves in your room

- He is absolutely impressed with your skill, and he loves seeing you dancing across the floor/stage

- He tries his hardest to stay awake for your shows from now on

- Even if he falls asleep, you love and appreciate his support

- One time when he was black out drunk, Demo begged you to teach him Ballet. His feet were incredibly sore the following morning

Heavy:

- This Russian man LOVES Ballet

- He loves everything about it, from the dancers to the music and the stories within each show

- One of his costumes has a Ballerina’s tutu, shows just how much he loves it

- Though his technique is sloppy and untrained, Heavy knows limited Ballet off by heart

- When he discovered that you were a Ballerina, it was on the night of your first Spring show that Heavy decided to watch

- He could not take his eyes off of you, and he could not stop hugging you and smiling at you and complimenting you on how gorgeous you were on the stage

- He helps you practice at times if he recognises any of the steps, otherwise he is content to watching you dance

- You love it when he recommends you costume designs or music ideas you could suggest for the next show

- You have yet to perform an adaptation of The Swan Princess/Swan Lake, but when you do this Russian Giant will marry you on the spot

Engineer:

- Ballet is not much of Engi’s forte in terms of dancing. He prefers country dances over Ballet any day

- That being said, he can enjoy a Ballet show if he sees one that catches his attention

- You were always trying to coax him into going to various shows that secretly starred you in it, often leaving disappointed at the fact that Engi disagreed with going

- He does, however, finally cave in after you tell him that Sleeping Beauty was on in a few days

- You peek past the curtains to see your Texan man sitting in a crowd in a suit, reading the pamphlet given to him to pass the time

- You could not see very clearly from the lighting on stage, but you swore you saw Engi’s eyes light up at the sight of you

- You couldn’t find him at the Meet-and-Greet after the performance, which did worry you

- You found him trying to carefully rush into the Theatre, where he gave you the biggest hug, kiss, and bouquet of your favourite flowers

- Ballet is still not his forte, but he is very proud of you and will go to shows you star in if he can

- If someone asks about you, this Texan will not hesitate to let them know that you are an angelic Ballerina, just saying

Medic:

- Medic might be bat-shit insane, but he can still enjoy a good performance of any sort

- Ballet shows are some of the few he sees with Spy in company, usually it’s a down-time activity for Medic

- He does become infatuated with a gorgeous Ballerina after seeing her in a few shows, and he would often tell you of her when you ask if he’s seen any shows that’ve hit town recently

- “She has ze most gorgeous [h/c] I’ve ever seen.” “Ze vay she dances is enchanting.” “I should ask her vat her name is~”

- You wanted to feel jealous that Medic had a crush on this Ballerina, except you were only flustered about it because you ARE THAT BALLERINA

- Spy puts two and two together and waits for the day you gain a main role in a show before he openly suggests to Medic to go and see a show with him

- You had to refrain from strangling Spy when he kept describing in detail the ‘Mysterious Ballerina Girl’ in detail to Medic as a tool to convince him to go

- On the night of the performance you watch with anticipation as you see Medic and Spy sit directly in front, in perfect view of the stage, of the performers and of you

- You once again had to refrain from killing Spy after you both make eye contact with one another and he starts teasing/taunting you whenever Medic was distracted

- Once you were on the stage, you could not tell if Medic was watching you or not, but you could sense the pride both mercs had for you

- Medic’s lower jaw has left the chat

- After all this time, you were the Ballerina he was in love with?! Why hadn’t he seen the similarities sooner?!

- He felt like a fool but he didn’t care when curtain call was happening

- He sees one other person running up on stage to kiss their lover and he’s gone from his seat

- He rushes up to you, brings you into a hug, dips you and kisses you in full view of the world

- You hear Spy’s laughter ringing in the auditorium amongst the clapping, but you’re too distracted by Medic to consider strangling the French Bastard

- Medic will boast about you for a very long time to the rest of the world

- He is your biggest fan, and has started learning Ballet so he can dance with you

Sniper:

- Surprisingly Sniper has knowledge of Ballet thanks to his mother

- He doesn’t go out to see shows through, good luck trying to get him to sit in a crowd full of strangers he might be forced to converse with, it ain’t going to happen

- You were able to tell him that you danced professionally, but not that you were a Ballerina

- Needless to say, he was impressed that you could dance professionally

- It was one night camping out in the Badlands when he saw you dancing the night away underneath the stars

- To him, you looked like you were going to float away simply because of how graceful you were on your feet

- He sheepishly asked if you could show him a few moves he could do with you, and you happily oblige

- You both dance the night away, shifting between Ballet, Country Dancing and surprisingly Ballroom Dancing, all the whole laughing and enjoying yourselves in each other’s company under the stars

- Sniper might not have the confidence to sit in a crowd for a few hours, but he will give you a bouquet and take you to dinner after every show you have

- He absolutely wonders how he managed to deserve you in his life

Spy:

- This man has learned Ballet himself when he was younger, and he sometimes enjoys dancing it in private for some rest and relaxation

- He does not, however, know you also dance Ballet

- You catch him dancing Ballet one night in his Smoking Room, and you found it absolutely entrancing to watch

- You also begin to dance beyond the door, secretly hoping he would one day dance with you

- That day arrived 5 minutes later when he noticed his door was slightly open, catching you dancing just as he was about to close it

- This man did not expect you to be outside his door dancing Ballet, but his surprise melts away when you begin to ask him questions on when he learned Ballet and how often he danced it

- He extends his hand and offers you a dance, to which you happily accept

- You both dance the night away in each other’s arms

- When he learns you danced professionally, he buys tickets to ALL of your shows

- Even if he doesn’t have the time to go to a show, he will forcefully make time to see you

- You have a collection of roses thrown by the French after every show

- He helps you practice for upcoming performances, all while murmuring sweet nothings in French in your ear as he marvels at your dancing

[marvelundercover]

Reveals are here! 

We are so excited to reveal the authors and artists for this years fest! In total, we received 29 incredible submissions. We want to thank everyone who prompted, reblogged, liked, wrote, beta’d, read, art’d, commented, and kudos’d. You’ve made this years fest great.  That’s all for 2020, we’ll see you in the next year with a new theme!  Without further ado, the masterlist! 

ART

Title: Turn Around, Look at What You See Artist: ShimizuAimee Pairing/Characters: Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov Rating: T Medium: Digital Art Prompt #: S1 Warnings: N/A Summary: In her face, the mirror of your dreams.

See it here!

Title: Domestic Artist: ShimizuAimee Pairing/Characters: Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau Rating: G Medium: Digital Art Prompt #: S2 Warnings: N/A Summary: “But I got the blues, I wanna slow dance with you.”

Carol and Maria might be getting a little distracted.

See it here!

Title: Clint Artist: cruria Pairings/Characters: Clint Rating: general audiences Medium: art Prompt #:A20 Warnings: none Summary: Clint + his relation to music after losing hearing

See it here!

Title: What Do You Want From Me? Artist: ShimizuAimee Pairing/Characters: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: T Medium: Digital Art Prompt #: S50 Warnings: N/A Summary: Every night starts the same: Steve's thinking of him while his eyes unconsciously close and he slowly drifts off into another restless sleep.

"What do you know?"

See it here!

Title: Bucky Artist: cruria Pairing/Characters: Bucky Rating: general audiences Medium: art Prompt #: A14 Warnings: none Summary: Bucky + therapy through music

See it here!

Title: Making Up & Breaking Up Artist: Call_Me_Kayyyyy on ao3/everything else, @call-me-kayyyyy​ Pairing/Characters: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: E Medium: Digital Art Prompt #: S62 Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content in Story Summary: So, in a spontaneous decision, he took a quick shower, dressed in something other than oversized hoodies and sweatpants, and left his house, determined to sit in a bar for at least 30 minutes before he would go back home.

That’s how he ended up in The Tipsy Cow, nursing his beer in the back, staring at Steve.

See it here!

FIC

Title: Coast to Coast Author: digthewriter (AO3) | @stevedigsbucky​  Paring/Characters: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes 

Rating: NC-17 / E Wordcount: ~19,200 Prompt #: NA. Self prompt. Warnings: Action. Angst. Drama. Betrayal. Mention of homophobia. Switching. Summary: Everyone he ever cared about is dead. Betrayed by someone on his own team and filled with a memory of a song he doesn't know anything about, Bucky lives in a cabin near Mount Chase, Maine. A stranger comes knocking on the door and as much as Bucky doesn't want to trust him, he isn't able to hide his attraction to him, either. Some questions are answered, but some answers don't make any sense. Is it too late to face your past and make amends?

Read it here!

Title: Whistle I'll Be There Author: titC @titconao3​ Pairing/Characters: Matt Murdock/Foggy Nelson Rating: Teen and up Wordcount: 8493 Prompt #: S38 Warnings: no archive warning apply, canonical past traumas mentioned Summary: Matt's not sleeping well or enough and will not admit it, and Foggy worries and takes measures.

Read it here!

Title: We Fell in Love in a Hopeless Place Author: Purple_ducky00 @jamesbuckystark​ Pairing/Characters: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark Rating: Teen Wordcount: 1956 words Prompt #: S34 Warnings: Homophobia, Homophobic language Summary: Tony never thought he'd spend the night in jail. He never thought he'd fall in love there, either.

Read it here!

Title: Our Family, Unpacked Author: HogwartsToAlexandria @hogwartstoalexandria​ Pairing/Characters: Carol Danvers/ Maria Rambeau Rating: Gen Wordcount: 1223 Prompt #: S2 Warnings: Food-related discussions Summary: Food is more important than whatever the tabloids will ever have you think. Which is why there's no tabloids in the Rambeau-Danvers' house.

And also because the three ladies living in it made it their mission to cook and eat, and talk to food as often as they could, and always as a family.

Or Monica wishes her mothers would get up already.

Read it here!

Title: when we all fall asleep where do we go Author: steverogerstrash @ceilingventclintbarton​ Pairing/Characters: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: not rated/g Wordcount: 1016 Prompt #: S50 Warnings: none Summary:But he can’t stop thinking about the blond man. The man from the helicarrier that had called him a name, had told him that he wouldn’t fight.

the winter soldier tries to convince himself that they're just dreams. james barnes isn't so sure.

Read it here!

Title: Where Words Fail, Music Speaks Author: HanukoYoukai @hanuko​ Pairing/Characters: Peter B. Parker/Wade Wilson Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Wordcount: 2615 Prompt #: S8 Warnings: No major archive warnings apply. Tags: Rock Band AU, No Powers AU, Fluff, Flirting, Misunderstandings, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content

Summary: "The next day, his twitter had blown up. Picture upon picture, tweet upon tweet, all showcasing the masked band during the last concert. During the ballad, Wade Wilson gestured emphatically towards Peter, who stood there and did nothing. Their fanbase was making him out to be some kind of a frigid asshole for ignoring Wade, only to be silenced by a tweet from their lead singer to “leave my boo alone.”

What the actual f***?"

OR

Wade can't seem to stop flirting with Peter onstage.

Read it here!

Title: something out there Author: marvellingyou @marvelling-you​ Pairings/Characters: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Rating: E Wordcount: 7,217 Prompt #: S20 Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Summary: He immediately opened it to a picture he got from the museum. It wasn't as if there was anything special about this picture in particular. It was one of thousands. Anyone could get a picture of Captain America. But he wanted a reminder that maybe, just maybe, he was more than a ghost story. Maybe he mattered.

Or, in which Bucky Barnes tries to piece himself together and at the end of the day, everything comes back to Steve Rogers

Read it here!

Title: You’ll Never Know Author: bastet_lives @bastet-lives​ Pairings/Characters: Steve Rogers/ James “Bucky” Barnes (allusions to other Pairings) Rating: T Wordcount: ~ 10100 Prompt #: S59 Warnings: N/A Summary: Five times Bucky sang for Steve as they danced together without realizing they are both in love with each other. And the one time they sang to each other while being fully aware of their love.

Read it here.

Title: Breaking Up and Making Up Author: chilibabie07 @chilibabie07​ Pairings/Characters: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: E Wordcount: 6245 Prompt #: S62 Warnings: None Summary: So, in a spontaneous decision, he took a quick shower, dressed in something other than oversized hoodies and sweatpants, and left his house, determined to sit in a bar for at least 30 minutes before he would go back home.

That’s how he ended up in The Tipsy Cow, nursing his beer in the back, staring at Steve.

Read it here!

Title: Thank the children Author: bastet_lives @bastet-lives​ Pairings/Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes/ Steve Rogers Rating: Gen Wordcount: ~3000 Prompt #: S22 Warnings: N/A Summary: Asking out people on a date is scary, especially if the guy you want to ask out is cute and your niblings' music teacher. It takes his niblings and sister's interference before Bucky manages to.

Read it here!

Title: Almost Left Behind (series: High Notes, part 1/3) Author: titC @titconao3​ Pairing/Characters: Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios Rating: Teen and up Wordcount: 4120 Prompt #: Self-prompt (Cindy Lauper, Time After Time) Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, canonically (presumed) dead character, or not, ghost, Ice, Cold, Falling Through Ice, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Good Samaritans, technically not hypothermia but you get the idea Summary: It's a harsh winter in New York, and Daredevil falls into a frozen-over lake...

Read it here!

Title: Je te promets Author: NachoDiablo @nachodiablo​ Pairings/Characters: Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Monica Rambeau Rating: T Wordcount:  1063 Prompt #: A38 Warnings: None Summary: Carol and Maria bring Monica home.

Read it here.

Title: Only You Pairings/Characters: Steve Rogers/James 'Bucky' Barnes Author: articcat621 @articcat621​ Rating: Teen Wordcount: 1106 Prompt #: S26 - "Sway" -> Other dancers may be on the floor, Dear but my eyes will see only you. Warnings: Slash M/M, Implied FemSlash Summary: Peggy gives Steve and Bucky the little push they need.

Read it here!

Title: I Hunger For Your Touch (series: High Notes, part 2/3) Author: titC @titconao3​ Pairing/Characters: Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios Rating: Teen and up Wordcount: 4526 Prompt #: Self-prompt: The Righteous Brothers (and others), Unchained Medoly, Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, (probably) canonically dead character, ghost - Freeform, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Foggy is a good friend, Sensory Overload, Cold

Summary: Matt tries to go on with his life after his encounter with Elektra's ghost.

Read it here!

Title: put her love down soft and sweet Author: @lattelyy​ on Tumblr, @lattely on AO3 Pairings/Characters: Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov Rating: Teen Wordcount: 1656 Prompt #: S1 Warnings: none apply Summary: Natasha is impossible to look away from, whether she moves or sits still, every bit as graceful and alluring as the swan she plays. In her long-sleeved black leotard and dark leg warmers, fiery hair slicked back into a severe bun, she looks like the ballerinas Sharon saw in her storybooks as a little girl, full of awe at the glamorous women balancing on their tiptoes in tulle and satin.

Read it here!

Title: I Want to Dance with Somebody Author: ohstars @oh--stars​ Pairings/Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff Rating: Teens and Up Wordcount: 9062 Prompt #:S27 Warnings: No Warnings Apply Summary: Steve does not dance. In fact, he can't dance and everyone in his life knows it. So when the time comes where he has to fill an important role in his sister's wedding, he has no choice but to learn. He's absolutely sure it'll be a miserable experience, with Natasha as his teacher, until he catches sight of the mysterious pianist in the corner. Maybe things won't be so bad after all...

Read it here!

Title: I want you around Author: chilibabie07 @chilibabie07​ Pairings/Characters: Sam Wilson/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes Rating: T Wordcount: 1,985 Prompt #: S61 Warnings: No Archive Warning Apply Summary: “Hi,” Steve mumbles where he, as always, is hiding his face in Sam’s neck.

Sam clings to him just as much, arms tightening a bit now. “Hey, Stevie,” he whispers back.

Read it here!

Title: Adrift in a World of my Own (series: High Notes, part 3/3) Author: titC @titconao3​ Pairings/Characters: Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios Rating: Teen and up Wordcount: 6808 Prompt #: Self-prompt: The Great Pretender sung by The Platters or Freddie Mercury, Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, canonically presumed dead character, a little whump Summary: Matt suspects Elektra isn't quite your regular kind of ghost...

Read it here!

Title: After All These Years Author: xxDustNight88 @xxdustnight88​ Pairings/Characters: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Rating: Explicit Wordcount: 3,132 Prompt #: #S47 Warnings: Male Slash, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst Summary: When Tony decided to step back from a public life, going off the grid saved his sanity. How will three words change everything?

Read it here!

Title: everytime you smile I feel tremors in my heart Author: Thunder_cakes Pairings/Characters: Sam/Steve Rating: T Wordcount: 3076 Prompt #: S44 Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Summary: Steve finds himself immersed in Sam's music collection. Turns out he and teenaged Sam have a lot in common.

Can a box of mixtapes, an old crush and a handful of tootsie rolls bring our boys together? (yes.)

Read it here!

Title:  the end is the beginning Author:  anniemar @anniemar​ Pairings/Characters: Bucky Barnes/Darcy Lewis Rating: T Wordcount: 1,544 Prompt #: A14 Warnings: memory flashback, mentions the death of jim morrison Summary: Sometimes the most random of songs can bring Bucky back to historical events that the Winter Soldier was witness to. He tries to let it flow instead of fighting it.

Read it here!

Title:  I Want to Hold Your Hand Author:  Deb Walsh @debwalsh​ Pairings/Characters:  Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Rating: G Wordcount: 2K + Prompt #:  S57 Warnings: None apply Summary: The first time Bucky Barnes extends his hand to Steve Rogers, Steve hesitates only a moment to take it. After that, it's a given.

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Title: RISE Author: bangyababy @bangyababy​ Pairings/Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Rating: M Wordcount: 12.2K Prompt #: Self Warnings: No archive warnings apply, mentions of vomiting Summary: “I don’t need you to be sorry!” Steve shouted. “I need you to love me and fight for this.”

Bucky’s smile was watery. “I do love you Steve, but I can’t fight for this, not anymore.”

Or: In order to come together, you have to fall apart first.

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[ruensroad]

of angels and swans

This is a little AU I made with @this-solaris-life​ inspired by Swan Lake. It’s a Sangyu, so it’s also for @dyabolos​. Got to keep working that Sangyu agenda!

The setting is inspired by Tang dynasty China, in a magistrate’s courthouse and home. And since I couldn’t find a good gif that would load for me of black swans, I edited a lovely photo and I do not own it.

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The building read Qinghe Courthouse when he flew over it and considered landing for the first time since his barely successful escape from the Capitol that morning. There was a welcoming, burbling fountain that fed into a wide pond, with lily pads and lotus and what looked to be a generous schooling of tri-colored carp, as strange to him as the name of the county he was in, and with dusk swiftly approaching made his choice and landed on the slightly overgrown lawn next to the water.

The perks of being a swan afforded perfect camouflage and excuse to trespass. Still, Mo Xuanyu held his breath a long moment, glancing around the courtyard for guards or servants that surely had heard his wingbeats. When no one appeared, he hurried under the bough of weeping willow to wait out his transformation and prayed to any and all gods that still cared to listen that he would not be discovered in this new hiding place for at least the night.

Of course, the worst that could happen as a stranger was to be thrown into the street. It would mean a boring night walking the streets, but still a safer fate than what he’d escaped from, so he told himself to breathe and do his best to melt into the trunk of the tree as the sun set and the magic pulled him back into human shape and the shimmering black robes that formed his feathers. He touched the enchanted silk, then rubbed his fingertips together as the magic tingled in his skin. His eyes caught on the leather straps wrapped around his wrists and closed his eyes a moment, remembering searing pain and fire, before slowly wrapping his fingers around it.

Qinghe, he thought on that, leaning back against the tree and giving the leather strap a pull. He did not know where Qinghe county even was, or how far from the Capitol, but the enchantment of his binding held firm, proving that it was still not far enough to break the spell. If that was even how it worked.

He prayed one day the bindings would slough off if he flew far enough. Even if he had to fly to the ends of the earth and heaven, he would if it meant being finally released from his enslavement. Because the only other option he had, for someone to willingly remove them for him, was laughable at best. His “masters” had more than proved that.

At least this place was warm and quiet, a comfort after a day of flying. Mo Xuanyu took another moment just to breathe and resettle into his body, feel the breeze tease his hair, feel the faintly damp earth under his palms. The world drifted away to the sound of water and playing fish, if only for a moment, and like a trusted friend the tree shielded him from the shadows in the inner courtyard beyond, the bustle of servants and guards little more than a rush in his ears.

He didn’t dare move again until the lights in the outer court were extinguished, casting the pond in barely lit shadows, and then it was only to find himself stumbling on legs that did not remember how to hold is weight, or how not to waddle. Flapping his arms, he managed not to face plant into the willow’s rough bark, but still slipped on the roots and went rolling into the grass.

The water twinkled with laughter, the stars above winked in delight. Face aflame, Mo Xuanyu settled for a half crawl to brace himself on the bank, legs trembling and toes splayed as though that would help at all on the slippery stones. There was a wonderfully large, smoothed out sitting rock on the edge of the pond that took his weight without wobbling, and he sat on it with a wince, still feeling the tumble.

The fish came up in curiosity while he settled his feet into the water and he smiled to hear their bubbling thoughts and gaping mouths on his toes. Thinking of the small round pellets he’d seen the Imperial Concubines feed the fountain fish in the courtyard of his prison, he slid his hand up the sleeve of his robe and felt the pouch hidden inside. Already, the magic had it swelling with the food and with a secret smile he tossed a handful out over the water, soaking up the feeling of it splashing his robes and the otherwise quiet of the night.

He was safe, for once. What a concept. And even the sight of a swinging lantern over slightly stumbling footsteps did not erase that feeling, even if the rest of him froze in a vain hope not to be seen.

But he had never been a lucky man, though fate seemed on his side this night, if only a little. The man standing there was handsome and red faced, rumpled with the smell of drink and slightly listing to the side. He squinted at Mo Xuanyu with not alarm, but blank confusion, and Mo Xuanyu felt an odd urge to laugh at the pitiful sight he made.

“Are you drunk?” was the first thing the man said, voice cultured and sweet if slurring around the edges. “I know I’m drunk, but are you?”

Mo Xuanyu considered that question, thinking of what a sight he must’ve made bumbling around the pond, and shrugged. “Not to my knowledge, Young Master.”

“Servant?” the man tried again and edged closer on the fine walkway a step above the grass. He was even more handsome up close, lit by the candlelight and his once very fine hairstyle starting to unravel. Amazingly, he smiled as though the thought of Mo Xuanyu being a constant presence in his household actually pleased him before he carefully stepped down onto the grass.

Thinking fast, Mo Xuanyu decided the man was tipsy enough not to raise an alarm, or truly did not care about his unexpected visitor and went for a bit of honesty. “I heard a black swan had nested in your fine garden,” he told him, wary as the lord came closer and closer. “You will have to forgive my impudence, but i had to come see if the rumors were true.”

“A black swan?” The lord’s round face scrunched up in thought, as did his curved nose, and Mo Xuanyu felt another urge to laugh startle through him. He bit it down with a hard swallow. “I have not seen one today, but I hope the rumor is true. This garden is too empty.”

It was not a proper invitation to stay, but Mo Xuanyu felt the magic thrum in answer. The tickle of it against his wrists had him pausing, wondering an impossible thought. But then the young lord was smiling and the world started up again, lit by firelight and stars.

“I suppose it is,” Mo Xuanyu agreed, hesitant, and looked down at the carp still dancing around his feet. “Perhaps a swan will yet grace your pond, Young Master.”

“Huaisang,” the man slurred, his eyes bright and childlike. He stepped even closer, until Mo Xuanyu could smell sandalwood incense and honey on the fine silk of his sleeve. “Nie Huaisang.”

Mo Xuanyu tilted away before he could be smacked in the face by the swaying lantern, then quickly reached up to steady him when he stumbled out of his courtly bow. “Do you often give strangers your name, Nie Huaisang?” he had to ask, shaking his head in amusement.

“It’s good luck to tell your name to an angel,” Nie Huaisang said pointedly, smiling down at him, and Mo Xuanyu felt his stomach drop a little into a free fall to be on the receiving end of such sweet eyes. “You’re not drunk but i’m drunk and I’m pretty sure this is a dream.”

Of course it was a dream. No man was this genuinely kind while sober, nor so accepting of strangers in his own home. The sting of disappointment had long been easy to sweep away and he did so now, smiling politely back at the glazed expression Nie Huaisang’s face was crinkling into.

“You are dreaming,” he said readily and gently used his grip on the man’s wrist to turn him back to the walkway. Like every obedient drunk, Nie Huaisang happily did so, humming a little as he swayed in place. “Go back to bed, Nie Huaisang, and keep dreaming your dreams.”

“Okay, angel,” Nie Huaisang said, a blissful sigh around the word, and it would be sweet indeed if not scented with fine wine. Mo Xuanyu watched him stumble off and only let go of his breath when the young lord disappeared into the inner chambers, drenching the pond and garden back into darkness.

“Angel,” Mo Xuanyu echoed to the fish, cheeks warm and a shiver playing through his magic robes.

He couldn’t stay, he knew that, but he felt the exhaustion and hunger from his frantic flight like an ache in his bones. The idea of flying more with a bare night of rest and no food had his stomach lurching all the more and it was a sad conclusion to reach, knowing he had no other choice. At least for now.

The morning would come and so would his transformation. Swans were constantly doted on by gentlemen like Nie Huaisang which meant free food to fill a smaller frame, much easier to satisfy than Mo Xuanyu’s own. There was safety here, behind these walls, with no one who knew him. With Nie Huaisang, perhaps, who would delight in a swan eating his grass down and feeding on the moss and water bugs.

After all, he’d been invited. The magic was still singing from such genuine words and that gave him enough strength to at least try. If nothing else, he’d stay just one night more, rest up, and be on his way. As long as the sun shone, he could fly, and if danger came for him he had the means to escape.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something… more to the warmth tingling around his wrists, under the cold ice of the binding spell. Something like freedom and hope. Something like courage. Perhaps he would stay longer than a night. Perhaps this could be a haven, not a prison, and he could stop running. A foolish dream, of course, but maybe, for once, not a hopeless one.

And he had always been a fool.

[dansnaturepictures]

01/01/2021-Amazing New Year’s day of birdwatching: Part 2-A green and white walk at Lakeside continued and a coastal walk (Ten different photos in this set to those I tweeted tonight) 

A follow on from my last blog which I have linked at the bottom: 

As the walk continued from seeing the Mute Swan on beach lake up close at Lakeside and taking the first two pictures in this photoset of views I was after just one or maybe two key species to cap off a brilliant walk of birds again with some fantastic species seen. An icing on the cake, cherry on the top type moment. Green Woodpecker or Redwing birds that are often key ones of my Lakeside New Year’s Day walk were two that sprang to mind which I had seen a fair bit of in recent months here. As I walked through the muddy and quite frosty and icy nature reserve area where I took the third, fourth and fifth picture in this photoset in this area, I just stood and watched over the area for a minute before exiting the areas through the gate as people were coming down the central path so to wait to go out and help social distancing. I was delighted when doing this to spot a small brown bird go into a tree, it was a Wren. Our commonest bird, but also one of our most elusive so I feel so lucky when I see them at Lakeside on New Year’s Day walks as I have done for a great number of years in a row now. I saw it quickly then got a good view. This I thought did as that one final addition on the fantastic walk and it was one of my favourite moments of the day seeing an iconic bird. 

I did have more Lakeside moments to come though moving on around the bowl area and to the Marbled White meadow area that I nickname in the east of the site, the area shown in the sixth and seventh pictures in this photoset. Having heard one or some at the start of the walk their high pithced and distinctive call echoing over the country park, I really wanted to see a Green Woodpecker and had seen them in these grassy parts of the area late on in a New Year’s Day walk in 2016 and in 2018 and 2020 I saw them early in January by the bowl area so its a reliable spot for them. I saw two quite big birds flying through the trees and sensed these were Green Woodpeckers, waiting as they went behind branches it was a joyful moment to see the bright green body of a Green Woodpecker flying through when one flew into a clearing. A sure but quick view of it, I had seen my second of my thirty favourite bird species in 2021. Things got even more amazing as the pair of birds flew around a bit and showed very well in the meadow area. I got amazing views of this very precious bird for me, some of my best ever at Lakeside or with the species I believe. Getting top chances for photos I tweeted one I took of it on the frosted branches a great takeaway photo and moment from my brilliant first day of the year. It was exceptional to witness such close and top views of this amazing bird species a top early moment of the year for sure. It was good seeing the bracken with frost on here too. 

On the way out of Lakeside Chaffinch stayed on my mind a bird I usually see here on New Year’s Day. I knew from the other day they went into trees by the allotment near to the entrance at the north. On the way there I was happy to spot a Dunnock in some trees with a group of Blue Tits always a nice bird to see for the first time in a year early on. Funnily enough like Greenfinch the only time I had see one here on New Year’s Day was 2017. Just as I was right at the entrance to now exit through the gate after coming close to seeing a Chaffinch further back on the walk I saw a bird fly into a tree and sort proclaimed with some euphoria sort of “That’s big, that’s bold, (compared to smaller birds), that’s Chaffinch” as I realised it was the bird. A great one to end an amazing Lakeside walk this year for sure, not too far from where I saw my first of 2020. I ended my Lakeside walk with the second highest amount of birds I had ever seen from home birdwatching and the Lakeside walk or the first bit of my day compared to my previous years, behind 2016 and ahead of 2020. 

The Lakeside part of the day was not yet over though as after lunch and processing photos and entering my year ticks onto my new spreadsheet we went for a coastal walk within Hampshire. Due to tier 4 COVID lockdown restrictions which now cover all of the county and the stay at home message that brings currently I as I said in this blog in October: https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/633537805171195905/31102020-lymington-and-photos-in-the-garden will be omitting certain locations from my posts about the day and this was one. On our way there as we passed the river by the ford area at Lakeside where I had checked on the walk I spotted a Little Egret which was amazing. Another favourite bird of mine to get as a tick on New Year’s Day and not for the first time, but never at Lakeside something I had always hoped to do as my 2020 showed they can be seen here so this was a little goal achieved. It was a crazy journey thereafter really as I saw my first Buzzard, Jay and Kestrel of the year and all great views the birds of prey more than one. So Little Egret, Buzzard and Jay were as I did last New Year’s Day with the former two and Great Crested Grebe three consecutive favourite bird year ticks on my chronologically ordered list highlighted red. So this was memorable. 

Soon into the coastal walk I was delighted to spot another of my favourite birds the Brent Goose with two around and we saw so many of this special bird for Hampshire this afternoon. I took the eighth picture in this photoset of one this afternoon, as we walked around and ticked off a delightful array of coastal wading bird species and ducks from Gadwalls, Avocets to a steady stream of Redshanks flying out to sea. All good birds and so many of them appearing on my year list on a New Year’s Day for the first time as we had been to the coast on New Year’s Days before but not to this type of habitat. 

It was amazing to see a Marsh Harrier too we got two separate cracking views of this wonderful raptor the first one at least a female with that cracking golden head which we are in a good bit of form for seeing as such, it really did look so beautiful and was fantastic to watch. Very prolonged views of the bird too emerging as one of the top stars of my New Year’s Day another first seeing one on 1st January. Snipe, Rock Pipit, Song Thrush and Common Gull were among a stock of valuable birds to tick off here too with nice views. 

But perhaps the day was defined by what came next as we saw two Kingfishers getting a particularly brilliant view of the first, and then there was a third further on in the walk. Perhaps led here by frozen conditions on lakes and water bodies elsewhere they as tends to happen it was spectacular to watch them dive to hunt for fish in the sea. These were exceptional wildlife moments getting stunning views of this electric bird. Immensely precious birds to be able to spend time with. I felt so honoured to see them today and took the ninth and tenth pictures in this photoset of them. As we walked on after the first two Kingfishers we managed to see a distant Peregrine. This did something very notable for me along with a Shelduck and the others from before as it meant I’ve seen nine of my thirty favourite birds on the first day of the year. I normally see between one and five of these on a New Year’s Day and see the rest as the week and year goes on which I have always been lucky with, so this really smashed it in terms of seeing favourite birds of mine to see nearly a third of my list in a day! This is going to be one of the big takeaways from my opening day of birdwatching of 2021 and a unique point to my year. It sort of feels a bit like last year we had the Portland trip after Lakeside on New Year’s Day in more normal times and all the big names of birds but this year its my favourite birds that have come into the limelight among others of course to really make my New Year’s Day. 

And I cannot believe what a New Year’s Day I’ve had! Last year I came into it with the goal of finally beating my 2016 highest ever amount of birds seen on New Year’s Day figure and as I charged in my 2020 wildlife and photography highlights blogs recently I did that and then some beating the figure in 2016 of 38 with 49 birds seen. This year I sort of thought if I could compete with the sort of figures I was getting between 2016 and 2019 after one day, never falling below 35, that would be good with all the restrictions. But with a few key year ticks before the end of the Lakeside walk putting me in a good position I all of a sudden thought today if we do well at the coast I could get near to last year’s. As that walk went on it soon became clear I had a brilliant chance to beat it and I beat it by 11. I can hardly believe that given 2020′s start was so amazing and one of my best birdwatching days ever. But I think the two locations visited today possibly just provided more variety up against last year’s all star cast of top birds. So its an interesting balance between quality and quantity, but I am just so proud to have had two New Year’s Days that had both. It seems the way to get totals like this is to mix the Lakeside habitat with a salt marsh type habitat on the coast for species variety. A very pleasing start to the year of birds for me indeed. I hope you all had a nice day. 

Wildlife Sightings Summary: (Lakeside and home) My first of three of my favourite birds the Great Crested Grebe, Green Woodpecker and Little Egret this year, my first Carrion Crow, Starling, Black-headed Gull, Woodpigeon, Magpie, Pied Wagtail, Goldfinch, House Sparrow, Collared Dove, Feral Pigeon, Herring Gull, Jackdaw, Blackbird, Robin, Blue Tit. Long-tailed Tit, Greenfinch, Mute Swan, Mallard, Siskin, Tufted Duck, Great Tit, Moorhen, Coot, Wren, Dunnock and Chaffinch of the year with many of the species seen at home seen at Lakeside on the walk too. (Coastal walk and on the way) My first of six of my favourite birds the Buzzard, Jay, Brent Goose, Shelduck, Kingfisher and Peregrine this year, my first Common Gull, Kestrel, Teal, Canada Goose, Pintail, Avocet, Redshank. Wigeon, Marsh Harrier, Gadwall, Lapwing, Little Grebe, Curlew, Snipe, Dunlin, Oystercatcher, Grey Plover, Cormorant, Song Thrush, Rock Pipit, Shoveler and Pheasant of the year, my first Rabbit of the year my first mammal of 2021, another of my favourite birds the Little Egret, Woodpigeon, Starling, Herring Gull, Black-headed Gills and lots of Carrion Crows. 

My first blog today:

https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/639146839711662080/010121-amazing-new-years-day-of-birdwatching