#Anakin never was and never will be the same as Palpatine

[cptsd-skywalker]

@ those people who consider Anakin to be just as bad or worse than Palpatine, are you ok? Like is everything alright up there? Got to be one of the most out there takes I’ve ever heard.

[tennessoui]

au where because palpatine is anakin’s confidante during his teenage years, he gets to hear all about the latest love of his life and how this relationship is The One, This Is It, Senator, Anakin Is Sure He Is In Love, only for the relationship to crash and burn a few weeks/months later, which results in dark! bad mood! anakin who swears to never see or speak to the temptress who played with his heart ever again

which gives sidious Ideas about how to most successfully ruin anakin’s relationship with obi-wan, aka the only thing really firmly keeping anakin in the light, so that he can twist anakin into Falling and becoming his sith apprentice.

after all it turns out that while obi-wan kenobi is damn near unkillable, he isn’t unfuckable (in the eyes of the vast majority of the galaxy.....anakin included)

and so palpatine becomes the number one obikin shipper, the og stan, the fan with a plan. he sets them up on countless dates and fancy dinners, gives them his opera house tickets, pays for them to be serenaded by the Coruscanti orchestra.....all because he thinks that once they get together it’ll be only a matter of time before they break up and then anakin will be so betrayed and distraught that he never talks to obi-wan again

but that....keeps not happening and palpatine just keeps bankrolling their dates at increasingly fancier and fancier places, all the while Anakin is in his In Love and Life Is Wonderful phase, Kenobi shyly thanks Palpatine for his kindness, and Sidious has to keep reminding himself that the happier and higher Skywalker feels the further he’ll Fall.......right? right???

[menaceborn]

brutus by the buttress is so ayru-core

[panickedscribbles]

I've been thinking about Star Wars discourse lately, and I think a lot of the reason so much of the fandom is constant back and forth arguments is because a lot of the time, two characters can be right simultaneously while also disagreeing completely with each other.

Take the whole "Too old, he is" thing.

On one hand, obviously wrong. Anakin is nine, he's at most a few years behind, and textually managed to catch up pretty well. Like, if Palpatine and the Sith Plan weren't constantly messing him up, there is every possibility that Anakin could have become a well adjusted Jedi. Nine is by no means too old to learn a skill.

On the other hand, the council demonstrates perfectly in that scene that they are completely unequipped to deal with a nine year old who hasn't been raised in their culture, especially one from a heavily traumatized background. The pop-quiz they ask him would be perfectly acceptable for a nine-year-old youngling, but Anakin literally just walked in. They are giving an end-of-year exam to a kid who has never even seen a school. And they assume this is fine, because that's just what you do with nine-year-olds.

More to the point, they are completely failing to take into account the previous nine years of his life. They ask a kid, who up until all of about 18 hours ago had been enslaved since birth, to be open and honest about his emotions, in a room full of complete strangers, most of whom answer to "Master"! They have somehow engineered a situation so psychologically damaging that Palpatine is taking notes in the corner, entirely without realizing. When the council says they shouldn't take him in, they are one hundred percent right. Nine is WAY too old when you've spent that time as a slave, and are being entrusted into the care of people who have never had to raise a nine year old who wasn't raised like they were.

Or how about Anakin not being made a master. Was he right to insist he get the title, or was the council.

Well, Anakin should be made a master, you see, because,

He's one of the main Generals fighting and coordinating the war

And he's one of their most successful warriors. Like, he's the guy they call in whenever they need an impossible mission completed

He's more or less the face of the war effort, as "The Hero Without Fear"

As an ex-slave, obtaining the title of Master would be a huge psychological weight lifted off his shoulders.

Since they're making him part of the council for espionage purposes, making him a master as well serves as better cover

Giving him more reason to stay loyal to the Jedi after they just asked him to betray the trust of one of his oldest and closest friends wouldn't be the worst idea

Like, if ever there was a reason to give someone a promotion, those are some pretty good ones.

However, on the opposite side of the issue, literally none of that has any bearing on "Mastery" as the Jedi define it. Being a Jedi Master is all about mastery over oneself, having a deep understanding of the force, and a certain level of inner peace.

You'll notice that at no point does being really good at large-scale violence, being well known for being really good at large-scale violence, or wanting it a lot factor into being made a Jedi Master. Everything Anakin is good at, Everything Palpatine, and the war, and the council have pushed Anakin into being good at, do nothing to bring him any closer to Mastery, and in fact often push him further away from it.

In both of these examples, you can make a very compelling argument in either direction. Hell, you can make a compelling argument in both directions at the same time. And I think that's really neat.

[antianakin]

I watched Dune: Part Two over the weekend, and I came to realize something: Anakin Skywalker has a lot in common with Paul Atreides, and none of them are good.

Funnily enough, I was also making comparisons between Dune and Star Wars when I saw it this weekend, but more positively. Not necessarily specifically between Paul and Anakin, but in the ways the two stories subverted the Chosen One storyline.

In Star Wars, Anakin is the Chosen One and it IS a good thing, but it's not INEVITABLE unless Anakin chooses it. He HAS to make the choice to be a good, balanced, selfless person in order to achieve the perfect prophecized ending. It is impossible to achieve it through brute force of will or selfish agendas.

In Dune (based purely on the story in the films, I have not read the books so I cannot speak to what the story was in there if it's different), Paul is the Chosen One by design of other mortal people around him, he is the Chosen One because they CREATED a Chosen One through specific breeding and manipulation of cultures and religions. They literally achieve their prophecized ending through brute force, Paul becomes a messiah by forcing himself to ride a sand worm, by killing and defeating the opposing forces on the planet, by using Fremen as weapons in a holy war, by drinking poison and coming out of it alive. The subversion here isn't in how the prophecized ending is achieved, but in how it was CREATED and the fact that achieving it is a BAD THING.

Anakin chooses to DEFY his destiny out of selfishness while Paul chooses to GIVE IN to his destiny out of selflessness, and then they both end up villains as a result. Both of them made their own choices, but were also manipulated onto this path by forces they couldn't control and people they should've been able to trust. They're both left feeling like they're out of choices and so the only one left is the one they KNOW is bad.

But I find myself somewhat more able to sympathize with Paul because he tries SO HARD throughout the entire film to keep this from happening, he knows exactly what's going to happen if it does, and in the end, he's just outplayed basically. He'll never be a match for the greater forces at play until he becomes one of them, and at that point he's lost in every way that matters. It's a completely lose-lose situation for Paul the way I saw it. Even with the visions, Paul has had multiple visions come true before he has the one about the holy war, and has a lot more reason to believe that it's true due to Jessica's training. And it felt like when he drank that poison that some part of Paul almost literally did die, that someone else came back to life in some ways and that's part of the whole tragedy. He's almost possessed by the powers around him by the time he declares himself Emperor.

The same is DEMONSTRABLY not true for Anakin. Anakin walks into the darkness with his eyes open and his head held high because he believes HE ALONE will benefit from it. There's no selflessness in this choice in any way shape or form. He has had ONE VISION come true that we know of before he gets the dream about Padme and the Jedi notoriously do not believe visions to be all that trustworthy to begin with, so all of his training tells him that just because ONE vision came true still doesn't mean that THIS one is true and even if it were, he can't trust that any action he takes to keep it from happening will actually have that result. But he's selfish and greedy enough to try anyway, to discard everything he's ever been taught, for power. He convinces himself that doing this makes him a hero, that murdering the Jedi, down to the last child, makes him a hero. There's no evidence that doing what he's doing will save Padme, or that Padme would even WANT him to do this to save her. He's not truly outplayed, he had all the tools at his disposal to make the better choice in that moment in Palpatine's office, he's just not a good enough person to make it. He IS a match for the greater forces at play in terms of power, he and Mace could've EASILY killed Palpatine together if only Anakin had chosen the better path. He just... chooses not to because it doesn't benefit him to do so. Anakin could've won, in every way that mattered. He only loses because he makes the stupidest choice imaginable.

Dune is a political sci fi epic about how people in power will literally create messiahs for the people they intend to subject as a way to consolidate their own power.

Star Wars is a children's cautionary tale wrapped in an space opera adventure about how letting your fears control you will bring about your own destruction, and only kindness and selflessness will save the world.

It's not exactly a secret that Lucas was inspired by Dune when coming up with Star Wars, so I find it really interesting to look at the similarities and differences in how they each approached their Chosen One storylines.

[david-talks-sw]

So that whole interaction between Ahsoka and Huyang, where they talk about Sabine's choice to help the enemy find Thrawn (in hopes that she can then find Ezra) is clearly meant to be subtext for what happened with Anakin.

I mean change the pronoun from "she/her" to "he/him", tweak some of the names and...

... it's just blatant.

The parallels were already clear in the previous episode, as pointed out in this post here, and it still holds true:

Sabine's struggle with attachment mirrors Anakin's.

We know Filoni's whole stance on why Anakin fell to the Dark Side: he'll usually acknowledge that Anakin was ruled by his attachments, got possessive of Padmé, but then adds:

"HOWEVER is loving that way really that bad?"

"HOWEVER he never stood a chance because Qui-Gon wasn't there to teach him properly and be the father Anakin needed."

I've already gone into why both these statements don't track with Lucas' intended narrative here and here... but I wanna touch on this notion that "Anakin wasn't trained enough to make a better choice."

He was.

You know how we know? Because we saw him overcome his attachments before.

We saw him explain the theory of the non-attachment rule, before.

In fact, wee saw him pass down a lot of the Jedi lessons, in The Clone Wars, including being disciplined, following orders and not acting impulsively.

The issue is that - while Anakin knows the theory, even has a few minor successes applying it - he never builds the self-discipline needed to master it because... deep down... he doesn't want to.

This is partially because you got Palpatine telling him he doesn't need to, molding him into an arrogant, power-craving person... but the fact remains that Anakin made the choice himself.

Which Filoni acknowledges, sure... but not quite. The difference between his thesis and George Lucas' is that the latter picks a stance and defends it.

"He started out as a very loving and compassionate person. And as he progressed, it was his inability to control his temper, his inability to let go of things, and his quest for power that were his undoing." - George Lucas, E! Behind the Scenes - ROTS, 2005

Anakin fell because he was greedy, just like any one of us can be.

Cool. Filoni, on the other hand, doesn't seem to land anywhere.

He dances around the issue (as can be seen by the debate between Ahsoka and Huyang, with no clear winner) and merely questions whether it's as simple as that.

Clearly he wants to justify Anakin's actions to some degree... but y'know, the narrative considers those actions so reprehensible that Anakin gets friggin' burned alive for it.

"I felt it was important that we actually see that happen so that we could see the consequences of these bad things that he did. […] He forces his friends to turn against him. Which is heartbreaking." - George Lucas, “The Chosen One” Featurette, 2005

Because Anakin's actions are not meant to be justified.

It's easy to see why Filoni likes Anakin. One of the earliest tasks he had when writing The Clone Wars was humanizing a character whose sole functional purpose was to carry out a narrative about how:

"Without self-discipline, greed [can] force a character off the path to freedom." - Micael Hearn, The Cinema of George Lucas, 2005

And Anakin is a very sympathetic character.

His flaws are flaws that we all carry.

Q: Is it fair to assess Anakin is kind of cursed by his own goodness/good qualities? "I wouldn't say that’s true. He’s cursed by the same flaws, and issues that he has to overcome, that all humans are cursed with. There's a lot going on there. [...] The whole point is—and the reason I started the story where I did—is that Anakin is a normal, good kid. And how does somebody who is normal and good turn bad? What are the qualities, what is it that we all have within us that will turn us bad?" - George Lucas, Star Wars Insider #52, 2000

But narratively, Anakin is selfish.

He doesn't want to save Padmé's life, he wants to save himself from the pain of losing Padmé.

And while you're supposed to sympathize with him, you're not meant to agree with him. He's Darth Vader, the space nazi. He messes up and consequentially "leaves the Force in darkness" for 20 years, instead of ushering it towards the light in the chancellor's office, when he has the chance.

So to shift the blame and say that...

HOWEVER, Anakin didn't have the proper support system or training to make a better choice.

... when the whole point of the narrative is about taking personal responsibility and being selfless instead of selfish... well, it is missing that point.

He did know better. He just didn't want to choose better, so he convinced himself he wasn't able to.

[lokitapendragon]

Something that the book makes so much more obvious than the movie is Anakin's mental/physical state throughout the story. Like yes, he's scared out of his mind of losing Padme, but also he's never sure when he last ate or drank (and then it's Palpatine offering him water, naturally) and is so freaking sleep-deprived a human would be having hallucinations. I've had quite a bit of experience with insomnia/nightmares and I speak from experience when I say that brushing your teeth becomes a herculean task when you've been up since 3 a.m. and it's 7 p.m. Your friend asking if you can lend them a pencil feels like an egregious imposition. The world is out to get you. Everything sucks. Food starts to all taste the same. You ache but nothing actually hurts, you want to cry because your shirt is blue, the urge to smash all the plates in the cupboard is overwhelming. There is a REASON sleep deprivation is the first step in torture and brainwashing. Add to this the mistrust of the people who raised him, the threat of his wife's death, and all the pressures of war...geez, Anakin never stood a chance against Palpatine.

[fanfic-obsessed]

For the Republic

Here’s an order 66 fix it that is the confluence of several coincidental misunderstandings. Also why outsourcing your brainwashing is overall a bad idea. 

Let's set the stage, ok?

The first misunderstanding is relatively simple, near the beginning of the war.  A case of similar words causing confusions that is never cleared up.  In this case a series of conversations between various clones and their Jedi about the Jedi’s relationship with the Republic. These conversations leave the Clones, all of them, convinced that the Jedi Order belongs to the Republic, instead of being part of the Republic. You know, in the same way that the Clones belong to the Republic (No matter which side you argue is true, this was not what the Jedi meant). This confusion is so deep that when Slick betrays them all to Ventress, his rants are specifically toward the Republic, and do not mention the Jedi Order at all.   

The second misunderstanding is a bit more complex. It starts with the earliest flash training for the clones, the basics that are pushed so deep that none of the clones have any conscious memory of them, but are buried in the subconscious. Along with the Orders that would be enforced by the chips, there was the phrase ‘Jedi have Power’.  There are other trainings that get layered on top of it, but in the deepest part of the Clone psyche the most basic definition that they have for Jedi is ‘Jedi have Power’. But Power, as a term, is an abstract that can mean so many things.   And though they never realized it, the Trainers and Jango Fett and the Kaminoans taught the Clones a very specific definition of Power.  Power cannot be had by someone who belongs to the Republic and Power only belongs to those who use it (specifically those who use it to abuse others). 

By that definition their Generals and their Padawan Commanders and what is known as the Jedi Order are not Jedi. Instead the Clones view these beings as brothers (having very little grasp of gender) of a higher rank. Again this knowledge is buried so deep the Clones do not realize they think this.  It is instinct. Frankly the distinction is somewhat subtle, and is closer to how the Jedi wish to be treated (without the higher rank part) so no one notices the shift.

When Umbara happens the anger that the clones feel toward Krell is not the disbelieving anger of an idol's pedestal crumbling, but the same anger felt for Slick’s betrayal. 

When Order 66 happens, the Jedi become traitors. Except…the people that Palpatine intended to be killed were not considered to be Jedi. For Jedi had to have Power, and Power only belonged to those who were free, and only those who showed their Power. 

The way that many of the Natborn officers did. 

So the Clones immediately turned their weapons on the Naval officers who had been abusive, primarily to Clones or Jedi, but also some instances of civilian abuse as well. 

On Coruscant, Anakin begins to lead the 501st to march on the temple. Only, as soon as they realized where they were headed, they stopped their general, confused. There are no Jedi there, they say.   Anakin says something about Palpatine having the Power to save Padme. This leads Appo to the conclusion that Palpatine is a Jedi Traitor, who has done something to their General (which yes, but also no). The 501st stuns Anakin, with some taking him to the temple for deprogramming, or whatever needs to be done to counteract whatever the Jedi Traitors did. 

The rest march back into the Rotunda to hunt the Jedi Traitor Palpatine. They are met by Fox, who shrugs and goes with them (with his own platoon of CG) without argument when Appo says that Palpatine is a Jedi.  The active chips do muffle the Clones in the Force, a deliberate feature that Palpatine never thought could be used against him. 

So Palpatine, the shiny new Emperor, is Emperor for about 20 minutes before he is shot through with so many bolts that he is basically left a goo on the floor. This bypasses every single one of his backup plans, many of which could not be fully put in place until he was Emperor, so there is no ‘Palpatine returns’.

 At the temple roughly a dozen members of the 501st enter the Healing Halls, carrying a stunned Anakin Skywalker. Even stunned the healers can tell he is in some kind of mental breakdown. The healers (who do filter out anything that is not helpful o figuring out what is wrong with their patients, so ignore the whole ‘Palpatine the Jedi traitor’ thing) take from what the troopers have to say that they believe that Anakin may be possessed by something and that he is worrying about Padme Amidala’s health, both of which are causing the breakdown.  

So Padme is collected by the rest of the 501st and brought to the healing halls, and it is decided that Anakin will be kept unconscious until his former Master, Obi WAn,  is back on planet (if he is possessed then having his loved ones there is the best bet for breaking through and of Anakin’s loved one Obi wan would be the best equipped to not be killed). The healers, upon seeing Padme’s pregnancy, insist on a full exam. During this exam it is discovered that, due to a growth on her pelvic bone, a natural birth would likely be fatal to her and possibly the children (I do love the idea that Palpatine was feeding Anakin those visions, or that the visions were caused by Palpatine or Anakin causing Padme’s death, but it is also interesting to think that the visions were legitimate and the cause was something natural). Padme is scolded for not seeking out proper prenatal care, which would have noted the problem. The healers schedule her for an induced c section closer to her due date and ask that she check in daily (or sooner if she starts feeling anything weird) to make sure there is nothing else.

 The Coruscant Guard continues to hunt through the Senate for ‘Jedi’, of which there is less than you would think. Yes a couple of hundred who meet the clone definition, but that is out of more that 100,000 beings in the building at any one time (with almost 25,000 systems represented, if  assume an average of 2 senators per system, that is 50,000 senators. With a retinue of aids, guards, interns, and others that easily clears into 100,000). 

And there is just…so much confusion (I find that I love pairing ‘Order 66 happened differently’ with ‘and everyone is confused’, it gives me great joy). 

 From the point of view of the Jedi, between on moment and the next the clones decided it was time to mutiny and the only explanation that is given is ‘The Jedi are traitors, we must kill the traitors’ as the clones continuously fail to shoot any Jedi (Like even the stormtroopers of canon do not fail to hit their stated targets this badly), though the clones have shot many people.  

From the point of view of the Senate, between one moment and the next the Clones chose high treason with no explanation (Because no one conscious on Coruscant knew that Palpatine was a Sith and the beings that knew about the chips and Order 66 ended up pretty high on the ‘Traitor Jedi’ list and killed).   

In the Force, and the Manda, respectively, Palpatine and Jango Fett were watching this happening with their own confusion. This was not the plan. 

 The Generals do eventually get an order to the clones to capture instead of kill the ‘Jedi traitors’.  By this point the Coruscant Guard had cleared the Senate and were just starting to descend levels of Coruscant in search of Jedi traitors. It is not too long after this that Mace Windu is found and brought back to the Temple, near death.  They also figure out why the Clones do not consider the Jedi, Jedi. It is decided that they cannot correct the Jedi definition issue until they figure out the ‘shoot the Jedi’ issue. 

In this version the chips do not do anything to the personalities or memories of the clones, they simply reinforce the flash training for the Orders and remove any ability to disobey. 

With the 212th, Obi Wan had spent a decent amount of time over the course of the war finding excuses to get rid of nat born officers that treated the clones as less than sentient. With his mindset of ‘a certain point of view’ he was pretty successful. There were still a handful in the higher command (the higher the officer was in the command structure, the harder it was to get rid of them) but none of the natborn officers that would be on the ground, or even in communication with the forces on Utapau.  Though the activation of the chips and the death that followed caused a bit of a shiver in the Force, it was not the screaming darkness of Canon and was lost in the madness of battle.  

So it was not until they were being transported back to the Resolute that Cody, quite proudly, announced that the Jedi traitors had been routed from the 212th.  Obi Wan had questions.  Cody answered with things that explained nothing 

Obi Wan: Jedi…Traitors?

Cody (nodding): The Jedi have been discovered as traitors to the Republic, Sir,  a kill on sight order is now in effect.

Obi Wan: I don’t remember anyone trying to kill me?

Boil (Visibly offended, even through his bucket): You’re no Jedi, general.

Obi Wan: I’m…I’m not?

Every Trooper on the ship in unison: Jedi have Power.

Obi Wan (Internally):What does that mean? WHAT DOES that mean? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Cody (Now looking a little concerned): Sir, you've gone really pale. Do you need a medic? 

They head back for Coruscant.  On the way Obi Wan receives a series of messages.  First, there are no high council members currently conscious on Coruscant. There should have been five. Anakin had been stunned by his own trooper, is possibly possessed, and is being held unconscious just in case. Agen Kolar, Saesee Tiin, and Kit Fisto have simply vanished. Mace Windu had been missing but was found and is now in Bacta with extensive injuries sans one hand. 

No one had been told that those four members had been going to confront Palpatine and as soon as Palpatine had been killed (in a hallway), his office had been automatically locked down. So no one knows that behind the shielding are the bodies of three Jedi Masters. 

Second, not only was the 212th not the only battalion to commit some form of mutiny, the 501st and the Coruscant Guard had apparently abruptly decided that high treason was a reasonable action. All the while claiming that they are hunting Jedi Traitors (with not a single person they shot being a Jedi).  The senate had also apparently realized that without the Coruscant Guard, there is not enough manpower to stop the Clones from killing whomever they wished (Much of the Senate had been so proud of the cost cutting measure of reducing the non clone security forces).

Third, since the remaining members of the council were spread throughout the galaxy (with Obi Wan being the closest), as soon as he arrived on Coruscant Obi Wan would be in charge of figuring out what was going on with the Clones, before the Senate found enough people to capture them. Then deal with the political clusterfuck of mutiny and high treason (as the Clones were considered part of the Order). Find time to help Anakin. 

Killing Grievous was supposed to give Obi Wan less to do, not more.  With the knowledge that there is something wrong with the Clones, he cannot even flirt with Cody (They had an understanding about exploring a romantic relationship after the war ended, but as stress relief both would flirt back and forth and see how explicit they can get before someone called them on it-The only reason no one had yet is because the 212th had a bet going on CodyWan admitting they are together and no one wants to be disqualified by influencing the results).  

It should be made clear, Obi Wan still does not know at this point that Palpatine is the Sith. He does not know that there are chips in the clones. He has no idea that Anakin had chosen to fall (though it did not really go anywhere) and is likely going to wake up half willing to slaughter everyone. He doesn’t even really know that Padme is a week away from being induced (still early but the healers do not want to wait any longer).

So even as he is contemplating everything on his plate, Obi Wan does not even know the half of it. 

By the time Shaak Ti, who had to corral Kamino (in which roughly half the Kaminoans in Tipoca city and a third of the remaining trainers were accused of being Jedi by both the battalion stationed there and the cadets), is back in contact, the bodies of the missing Masters were found.  She is the one to float the idea of a malfunction to the chips (the report about Tup and Fives was still in the ‘to be reviewed’ queue for the Jedi Council-The Council is about 12-18 months behind on reviewing mission reports).  

The news of the chips…does not make things better.

[anakinskywalker97]

Sith Eyes

Anakin Skywalker x Padawan Reader

You come back from your first solo mission to a sleep deprived Anakin. He's a mess over the state of things, he's on orders not to leave the temple while the Jedi sort out Palpatine. You decide to try your best to sort out your master. ROTS alt ending. I have ideas for more parts to follow.

Warnings: smut, loss of virginity, caring Anakin, Dom Ani, baby girl, we almost lose him but there's a happy ending. Reader is a bit younger than him but is legal.

The war felt like it was hurdling towards something. Something that you were unprepared for. The anxiety gripped you as your mission came to a close, you were returning back to Coruscant and you could tell something was wrong there the closer you came. 

You reached out to Anakin, he was normally angry, but even that was a comfort. You were always able to reach out into the force and feel his presence. Sometimes you could even feel Obi-Wan. Right now you felt the faintest flicker of your master. This only made you feel worse. Something was very wrong. Anakin was a powerhouse, the feeling of him never diminished it only got more intense with his moods. To barely be able to feel him made you panic slightly. 

You ran through the temple happy to escape the politicians of the Sennet building. You tried to feel Anakin to track him down, you knew you were getting closer to him but that faded feeling remained. You thought he might be sick or…worse. 

You knocked on his bedroom door feeling strange. The war had consumed all of your time with your master, you never lived at the temple at the same time as him. For the past three years all of your adventures together were off-world, knocking on his door felt oddly personal despite having done it a thousand times while traveling. 

He opened the door and you jumped at the sight of him. The feeling that was haunting you was in the flesh staring at you. His eyes were clouded in darkness both in the way he looked at you and in the way it etched around his brown eyes. 

“Master.” There was an edge to your voice, the word finished with a high note almost turning it into a question. He looked around you and pulled you into his bedroom. Curiosity won over concern for a split second while you took the space in, it was covered with mechanical parts and tools. The floor was clean and his bed was a mess. 

Your eyes found him pacing the room behind you. 

“Things are not going well.” His voice was wrong. It was if someone had put a different soul in his body. The hair on the back of your neck stood up as if you had fallen into a trap. There was an electricity pulsing around him despite his obvious exhaustion. 

“We can fix it together.” You said cautiously unsure of what you are dealing with. Anakin’s moods were not new to you however this was not something you had felt from him before. 

He turned on you and for a moment you were frightened of him, or maybe for him. You weren't sure. He grabbed your shoulders. 

“I can’t sleep -” He took a shaky breath and you felt the pain radiating off of him. It was like getting hit with a solar flare of fear and exhaustion. “Palpatine - he’s behind everything.” His voice was so low you had to look at his mouth to ensure you heard him correctly. It would have been easier to speak through the bond. 

“He orchestrated the war - he’s a sith.” He closed his eyes for a moment. The guy had always given you the creeps so it wasn't totally surprising to you. He looked at Anakin the way most men had looked at you since you were thirteen. You nodded and he looked so hopeless, if you weren't consumed with worry for him you would have allowed yourself to feel your own disappointment. “I told Windu, they - just want me to sit here.” 

He started to ramble about the Jedi, corruption, government, and problems too big for you both to solve in one night. 

“He wants me to join him.” His eyes were so sharp you felt their gaze cut into your mind. You shielded knowing exactly what he wanted from you. He wants to know if you will stand by him if he chooses the dark side. 

“Let's sleep on it.” You said calmly trying to channel your inner Obi-Wan. 

“I can’t” He was on the verge of tears, and your heart was breaking for him. You could feel that he couldn't tell who was right and the pain The Order had so casually inflicted on him was clouding his judgment. He didn't trust anyone, but he could still trust you. He would always be able to trust you. You thought about it for a moment, he needed to sleep this was glaringly obvious. You felt pulled toward him and decided to trust it. 

“It’s alright. - Just sleep with me.” You were so immersed in the intensity of the situation you didn't realize the slip of words. “Like - humans are pack animals. It won't be so bad if you don’t feel alone.” 

He thought about it for a second staring down at you before falling back to sit on his bed. He closed his eyes in defeat. You took that as an invitation. You slowly got the top half of his robes off before kneeling between his legs. You pulled his boots off and then decided you would leave him to deal with his pants. 

Sleep clothes? 

Your mind whispered to him and he wondered how ashamed he should be. He had done this for you countless times when you were injured or after a battle when you couldn't settle. He remembered how bad you were after the first time you killed someone. He had to make you a soldier, another thing he had to feel bad about. 

He nodded to the wardrobe to the left and watched you move around his leftover projects. Things he had to leave behind once the missions started and didn't stop. You pulled out a top and Anakin assumed you would hand it over to him. Instead, he watched you pull off your robes. Just now he noticed the singed ends and dark smears on them. Panic washed over him at the thought of not being there to help you. Rage at the Jedi flared up inside him and then was completely drowned out by your naked form. You kept your panties on but nothing else. The swell of your breast was enough to drive his mind back to the present. 

You pulled his top over your slender shoulders and he closed his eyes trying to find some peace. You went into the bathroom and he listened as you washed your face. 

He kicked his pants off and straightened out the blankets on the bed. Sleeping next to you was wrong. Looking at your naked body was wrong. His stomach lurched again for the hundredth time that day. He would do almost anything to end this suffering that had been stalking him since his childhood. 

You came back and began to climb over him to settle on the inside of the bed. 

In a normal master-padawan relationship you should lean into his energy to ground yourself. He shouldn’t be leaning on you. He felt like he failed you once again. 

“I won’t leave you.” You whispered. 

“I know.” He murmured knowing he wouldn’t sleep, his thoughts were racing and his breathing was wrong. Your words cut into him in a way that unraveled lots of old hurts. You let out a thoughtful hum. Without thought or care he pulled you up onto his chest. You were awkward as you straddled him trying to keep your weight off of him. He put his arms around you pulling you tight, you relaxed against him he felt you weigh him down. He clung to you. It was wrong but he was in so much pain he didn't care. 

He closed his eyes and felt his body relax, the weight of you pulled him back to earth. You fell asleep, and he followed you. 

It felt like you were both resting in a shared space. It was dreamless and soothing. 

It was 10 am and your legs were numb. You needed to pee and you were still firmly encased in Anakin's arms. His cock was hard and you wanted to remove yourself from the situation as cautiously as you could. You were aware of certain tensions between the two of you and you had both become good at dancing around them. You slowly moved your leg near the edge of the bed down to the floor. You shifted your weight onto it cautiously feeling your muscles sting. 

You tried to stand up but his arms crushed you against his chest as he took a sharp intake of breath. Your hips ground down against his hard length. You hissed and he looked up at you. You got lost in his eyes, relief pouring over you at the sight of the warm brown orbs. His eyes studied you as his brain tried to make sense of the situation. 

I have to pee

He let you go and you padded across the room to the bathroom. Trying to get your breathing back to normal. 

You kept the door open and for some reason it made him feel better. The thought of anything being between the two of you threatened pulling him away from the calm you had both built. 

He felt a sense of embarrassment wash over you and he studied you cautiously as you came back to the bed. 

Your panties were soaked. A slippery mess, you wanted to go back to your room and change but leaving him wasn't an option just yet. So you climbed back into bed and he guided you back on top of him. The last place you wanted to be, but it was also the only place you wanted to be. 

His large hands ran up and down your back, in a soothing fashion. The thought of all the things that needed to be discussed started to stream into your mind. But it was hard to focus with his cock pressing into you, one of his hands was firm on your low back and the other was running along your spine. 

After a moment he tensed up. He could feel your pleasure, your wet heat pressed against him. He had no excuse, he could feel your arousal from the moment he woke up. He should have sent you to your room to get dressed. He should have done anything other than pull you right back on top of him. 

He had no excuse, he wasn't sleep-deprived. His mind was more clear than it had been in months having actually slept. He had things to confront and yet all he wanted to do was let those obligations go. He didn't care about the war anymore. He didn't even care about the Jedi at this point. But all you wanted was to be a Jedi, he sighed and decided he wouldn't ruin your chances. 

We should get up - His arms tightened as he thought it. His body betrayed him. He wanted you badly despite knowing it was wrong. 

Or we could rest a little longer - you rubbed your cheek against his chest in an affectionate way. It was so playful he wondered if you were really interested in him in that way. Your core was throbbing and the air you inhaled off his chest made your mind hazy. 

I have a feeling about how this will end, I don't think either of us will handle it well - He was trying to resist you, and you reached out with the force and tested the feelings in the bond. How far could you push him? The vulnerability built between you last night made your soul ache for him. You knew he felt the same way. 

I think you could handle me just fine - you looked up at him from under your eyelashes. You weren't sure what you were getting yourself into but the force was pulling you along. 

He groaned. You felt it through his chest and through the bond. Your body shuddered and your mind was slipping away as he studied your face. 

You got tired of waiting and moved your hips. The pleasure you felt was new and surprising. You wanted to please him but you also just wanted to follow this bond to see how deep it went. You wanted to drown in him. 

Anakin felt your need pulse through you, he knew he was going to make some poor choices, he also knew he could never deny you. He was going to warn you one last time that it wasn't a good idea when you slipped his boxers down. Everything stopped after that, you wanted to feel good and he wanted to do right by at least one person. 

From your cautious approach to touching him, he assumed this was new to you. He kept one hand on your hip enjoying the fat of your ass. Dragging his fingers just above the waistband of your panties. Your hips stopped and he watched your face go blank as brushed against your clit. 

The fabric was soaked through and he smiled at the thought of you needing him that badly. You gasped and he needed these panties gone fast. You felt him rip the hip of your panties and his long fingers pushed them down your leg. 

Here - he shifted your hips slightly - Let me touch you baby 

His fingers ran through your folds stroking over your clit and you let out a moan. 

Master - you let out another moan. He worked your clit till your hips were trying to buck against his fingers.

Master - you started again but gave up on words. You grabbed his cock and moved your entrance against the head. His hand gripped into the flesh of your hip. 

We don’t have to do that - It was a polite thing to say, but it was entirely untrue. You had to, something deep inside you would collapse if you didn't. 

Don’t lie - He groaned at your response. You tried to push yourself onto him, but the pain seared through you. His pleasure bled into you making it tolerable and made you hungry for more despite the pain. Both his hands stopped you from pushing further. 

Not too fast - He wanted to enjoy you. Enjoy the feeling of how hard your body was trying to accommodate him. He groaned knowing full well that he could be offered the universe and he would pick this. You were perfect. 

His hands guided your hips and he showed you how to take more of him. You always liked it when he showed you things in training, moments when he had to touch you. Now you were drowning in his touches and corrections, his hands were everywhere. You bottomed out after what felt like forever. His hands were rough as he held your hips down, his body rigid. He took up so much space inside you, the bond between you had thickened and it was hard to breathe. 

His fingers moved against your clit and you bucked your hips. You moaned and your fingers dug into his shoulders as you tried to move yourself on him. 

Your hips were uncoordinated and untrained, something he would enjoy fixing in time. You were ambitious and determined as you chased these sensations for the first time. Just like in training you wanted to be perfect, Anakin decided to give you something really rare. He grabbed your jaw and pushed the pad of his thumb onto your bottom lip. Your mouth closed around it as he brought your face close to his. He looked into your eyes, they were already so hazy. You sucked on his thumb and he knew you would be the death of him. There was no way he would never have enough of you. 

“So good at this baby” He said the words and watched as your whole body reacted to them. Anakin rarely ever praised you, it pushed you to train harder. He wanted you to be the best, and he didn't want you to be caught off guard out in the real world. A place he realized he would never send you. 

“So tight for me.” His voice was soft and he felt you clench hard around him. He gave you more and more till it was impossible for you to keep up a proper rhythm. It was too much for you but he wasn't ready for you to cum yet. 

Be good and let me fuck you baby - He grabbed your throat as you cried out in response. He pulled you down and held you where he wanted, liking the way your throat felt in his hand. He started to fuck you from the bottom and you let out a shout. 

He fucked you hard and you took every bit of him. Pleasure blooming through your body. You had no shields up, he was flowing through you completely. 

Good girl - he whispered in your mind letting his appreciation and desire run into you. All of you tightened on him. He was getting close. 

“Need you to cum baby, I’ll show you how okay?” His voice was rough and it felt like a head rush. You nodded because you werent capable of speaking. 

“Gonna touch you again baby. When it starts to feel really good I need you to squeeze around me nice tight, Okay?” You nodded again. He slowed his pace down, he was deeper inside you than before. With shallow thrusts, he brushed his fingers over your clit again and you let out another groan. You still weren't really sure what he needed you to do. Something hot and tight was building in your stomach, and you started to call out for him over and over. 

“Master” Your voice was weak and your legs were shaking. 

“That’s it baby, nice and tight. Help me cum.” His words sent you someplace you never would have thought existed. White heat ripped though you. Your cunt almost squeezed him out but he pushed himself in you even deeper than he had been. Like the force was pulling him into where you needed him. Your body was forced open while it was snapping shut. Pleasure shot through you, it was all-consuming and you couldn't breathe, then it flowed into crashing waves. You opened your eyes to see him beneath you. His face screwed up in pleasure, your walls contracted around him as he spilled himself deep inside you. The force kept you both elevated and entwined together. Eventually, it lessened its grip on you. 

Your vision faded slightly and you collapsed down on him. He still held your hips flush against him not wanting to move out of you. Your walls fluttered around him and you were ready to sleep again. 

After a long moment, he sat up taking you with him. He pulled out of you and you wanted to cry at the loss. He carried you to the bathroom putting you on the toilet. Your legs were still shaking and you looked up at his naked form. He was studying you carefully, the bruises on your hips and marks on your neck. 

He should feel bad about it, but all he could think about is getting you back into bed to do it all over again. When his bedroom door opened you both jumped. Anakin stepped into the doorway blocking the view into the bathroom. 

Obi-Wan gave him an exasperated look before moving his eyes to the floor. Anakin shut the door behind himself and grabbed his pants. He pulled them on while Obi-Wan did the mental math of why your robes were on his floor. 

“Anakin!” He hissed, Anakin had upset him enough times to know when he was actually in trouble. “She’s your Padawan!” He threw his hands up and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to center himself. 

“Well - “ Anakin started but Obi-Wan spoke over him. 

“I told them this would happen. Two attractive - practically younglings - a handful of years apart. I shouldn't have allowed it.” 

“So you think we're an attractive couple?” Anakin asked and laughed at his master’s cold expression. Anyone else would have missed the way the edges of his mouth flickered. Obi-Wan gave him a hard stare and Anakin felt something in the force bond between them. It was more fatherly than angry. 

“Palpatine has put out an order to eradicate the Jedi. I need both of you ready to go. We don’t know how much time until they arrive.” 

I’ll be in the hallway - he added in the force bond before shutting the door. 

As Obi-Wan left the room, Anakin gathered up your clothes and brought them to you. He was sad he didn't get the chance to clean you up or make sure you had eaten. You were pretty far gone moments ago and being rushed into battle wasn't what he wanted for you. 

“I can feel them.” You whispered while getting your clothes on. A great black mass was creeping towards the temple. 

“So can I” Anakin started to think about all the things he could have been doing, but they told him not to leave the temple so really he was just following orders. 

The two of them stepped into the hallway, Anakin felt your shoulders shrink down slightly in Obi-Wan’s presence. Anakin didn’t care about anyone's judgment on the topic. You were his and he claimed you. Or was it just sex? He looked at your face as they followed Obi-Wan towards the temple doors. You looked at him immediately and he could feel that it must be more. 

Whatever happens, we do it together - You said and he nodded. 

They moved into formation as they had done so many times. Anakin liked the feeling of Obi-Wan in front of him to the right and you a pace behind himself partially covered by his right shoulder. He wasn't going to lose either of them, he didn't care if he left The Order, this was his family and it was something so tightly woven within the force he actually felt he could trust it completely for the first time. 

When the temple doors burst open Anakin’s heart stopped. Clone troopers pilled into the main entrance. Men he had fought with, been friends with, were shooting at them. If they were here to kill anything other than the younglings, Anakin might have let them. 

His mind was scared for you, almost all of your in-battle experience had been against droids. Anywhere Anakin was in this war you were there next to him, also befriending these men. 

They fought hard and Anakin swore to himself this would be the last time. 

___________________________________________

He knew what needed to happen to end things. After the destruction of most of the temple and the lucky evacuation of most of the younglings, he knew he needed to escape to see Palpatine. Obi-Wan understood his plan flawlessly as always. He and Obi-Wan were two sides of the same coin, he felt his master’s mind calm as ever. They had a moment of reprieve as the clones temporarily retreated. 

May the force be with you - He had no doubt in him that Anakin would make the right choice, something that meant more to Anakin than he would ever be able to express. You on the other hand were beside yourself when you realised he intended to leave the battle. 

Let me go with you - Your voice was desperate and he felt his whole heart resist his body as he moved away. He had to leave, it had to be him in the end. Obi-Wan grabbed you and Anakin turned away moving through the rubble as the rest of the remaining Jedi regrouped. 

Anakin endured your screaming at him through the force bond as he left the temple grounds. The more distressed you were the better, make everyone think he was genuinely going to seek out the dark side. He could feel Obi-Wan trying to comfort you while also trapping you there.  

The journey to Palapine was as easy as Anakin knew it would be. The old man looked frail and Anakin took his time listening closely to what he was offering. It was difficult with your pain still radiating off of you freely in the bond. It weighed him down, which also grounded him. He needed to get back to you, he needed to move on with his life. 

The truth was a hard thing to come to terms with. Palpatine was correct about a lot of things, especially about the Jedi. To walk the path of the dark side to restore balance made sense to Anakin on a molecular level. That was the only thing about Palpatine that truly made sense to him, he had power of a similar caliber, he seemed to be on Anakin’s level. 

“You should bring your padawan,” Palpatine added. “She is nearly as sensitive as you is she not?” 

Anakin wanted to laugh. You were high count, well above Yoda and the great masters, but nowhere near where he was. Anakin was certainly sensitive enough to feel the Sith’s intentions towards you. Rage poured over him and took its familiar hold in his mind. Palpatine was intrigued by this shift in Anakin’s mood but before he could move in on it, Anakin drew out his lightsaber. 

They fought and it served the exact purpose Palpatine had hoped for, Anakin felt himself slip into his anger. He let all the fear melt into anger. He used everything against Palpatine, the man who had caused so much suffering in the galaxy. How many friends and men had he watched die, and how many times was it his call in battle that resulted in those men’s lost lives? Years of pain ran through Anakin his life flashing before him, all ending back at the beginning with his mother in slavery. The force began to move towards him as if he was a black hole. He pulled the power into him and when Palpatine used his lightning it was easy to grab hold of. 

He pulled the energy from the Sith before turning it back on him. He was as everything else was in the galaxy, beneath him. He was burdened with this power, the life force of everything at his fingertips. He watched the fear in Palpatine's eyes as Anakin cooked the man alive from the inside out. Anakin could feel the deflected lightning eating and coursing through the old man’s bones, slowly cooking the flesh attached to them. Palpatine was reduced to ash before Anakin. 

Standing there with the world pulsing in him rather than around him left him knowing that a choice needed to be made here. There would be a vacuum with Palpatine and the war gone. The right person needed to step in and take control. Thinking back to his foolish opinions as a teenager, someone needs to force everyone to see reason. To implement order and eradicate chaos. He could see it in his mind clear as if it were real. 

The slick vision of an orderly system with the power to keep people in line. He was so consumed in this moment he couldn't feel the world beneath him. Was this the force showing him the vision of his destiny? Or was he forcing the force into what he felt would be easiest? 

“Don’t touch him!” A voice shouted. One he knew well. Hands gripped his face, and he opened his eyes. 

Anakin looked down at you with the eyes of a Sith. Something far beyond the realm of Plagueis and Sidious, something far beyond the knowledge of the Jedi or Sith. These eyes were sharp and they could see everything, calculations far beyond human emotion. Beyond time and space. Anakin was in touch with something other. 

In that moment you could feel the full extent of the power he possessed, just how far it stretched. You knew that if he asked you to go with him you would. Beyond everything, he was not something you would ever be able to turn away from. You didn't need to project that to him or say a word. He had all of you in his mind. 

Anakin looked down at you with visions in his head of order and power, but all he could really see was the person he loved causing chaos with. The power washed out of him as he made his choice. His arms trapped you against his chest and he felt how worn you were. Injured in battle, blood was still running from your shoulder. 

She needs medical attention, you can stare into each other's eyes in the med bay - Obi-Wan scolded him and the feeling was so familiar it made him want to cry. He could have power and order, but there was something so lonely and isolated about that life. In all those visions of star systems, not one showed him his two favorite people. 

He picked you up gracefully and you were too needy to complain. The feeling was different than anything you had knowledge of. You hated not touching him. Not being next to him. Was it the aftermath of being in war together? Was it the force bond between you? Or was this how people felt when they were in love? 

Anakin didn’t leave you for a moment as they worked on your shoulder. He had various conversations to have and yet he made every person come to him. It was exhausting but being in silence away from him would have been a thousand times worse. 

The day ended and you were staying in a ship as the temple was closed off. You sat around one of the tables in silence just as you had done countless times during the war. Everyone had a million things they needed to say but no one knew how. 

“Well, seeing as I’m the one responsible for the two of you.” Obi-Wan began and you were ready for his discussion about how they found Anakin. “Ground rules need to be established.” 

“I don’t know if we are staying,” Anakin said softly with pain in his eyes. You knew that it was true though. You both had no idea what direction the Jedi were going to go in, Anakin had given them some very clear ideas that the force had shown him. You could feel he only gave them a fraction of what he saw.

“Regardless of where you go, I’m sure I’ll be close by. So, no bickering when doing business. We can’t be in the middle of a conflict while you guys are having a domestic. It was bad enough before this.” He pointed between the two of you. 

“Master, I mean - I think we might be leaving The Order.” Anakin held Obi-Wan’s eyes for a moment. You could feel the bond there, and you knew that much like yourself, if Anakin asked him Obi-Wan would follow. 

“And as I said, I’m sure I’ll be close by.” Obi-Wan smiled at the two of you before getting up and moving down the hall to the sleeping quarters. “No loud sex either.” He called and Anakin put his face in his hands.

[starlazergazer]

Welcome Home

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Request: Combining two very similar requests! The overall summary is that the reader finds out she’s pregnant and out of fear leaves the republic (quickly becoming the empire) without Anakin knowing. Anakin tracks down the reader years later and leaves everything behind to live happily ever after with the reader and their child.

Warnings: Pregnant!Reader

Word Count: 4K

A/N: Hey guys its been a while! She’s a little short but she’s got some good angst and some cute moments so I really hope you enjoy it!

You weren’t proud to admit that you didn’t see it coming.

The warning signs were all there, and in hindsight you can’t believe you had missed them. But no, not missed, for every time there was a new announcement about the condensation of power you felt your stomach drop, felt the voice in the back of your head whisper that this wasn’t right, you never missed a single warning sign, it was even worse than that. You ignored them.

Because you knew chancellor Palpatine, he was a nice old man, offering his wisdom to younger senators such as yourself, he wanted what was best for the republic same as you.

You thought you knew Anakin too.

But you did know Anakin, you wanted to argue, he was passionate, emotional, funny, someone looking only to do right in the world by those he loved. You just thought you were one of those people.

And maybe you were, maybe this were some big misunderstanding, maybe there were forces at play here you couldn’t see that changed things. Maybe you could be the one to make those changes.

In another life you’d stick around and see.

Not this time. A hand ghosting across your stomach, staring down at an empty suitcase. Circumstances have changed and you couldn’t afford to chance it.

But even as you stood in you room amongst the ruins of the republic you had fought so hard to build, all that echoed in your mind was Anakin’s last words “I’ll find you later I promise” spoken in that tone of voice that had you smiling no matter what. Even as he pulled away, even as he interrupted the most important surprise of your life you couldn’t help but smile back at him, watching his own lips quirk up in response.

How could so much have changed in such little time.

A knock at the front door knocked you out of your stupor, a spring in your step as you rushed out of the bedroom just in time to see Anakin walking into the living room.

And you were amazed at how he looked exactly the same, how your whole world came crashing down and Anakin was still Anakin, looking at you with so much love and worry in his eyes it made your chest ache.

He was across the room before you could even comprehend his movement, his arms wrapping tightly around you not even noticing that you never raised yours to do the same.

It would have been far too easy to melt into the hug, to reach up and cover his hands with your own as he stepped back and cupped each cheek, to ignore the new yellow tint in his eyes as he scanned your body frantically asking if you were hurt.

But your choice here wasn’t just your own anymore, and if there was one thing you were certain of, it was that whoever this child came to be deserved more than what the empire offered.

It took you a second to find your voice, a second to push his hands off your cheeks, to take a step back from him, offering a small I’m okay that he clearly didn’t believe before you fully collected yourself “it’s just a lot to take in ya know?”

And there was a small sigh of relief that racked through him, before he took up your hand, giving it an experimental squeeze, as if afraid you were going to reject him “I know but really all that’s changed is the title, the senate still exists, you still have the same job, emperor Palpatine is just doing his best to protect people”

And you wondered if he really believed that, if he thought that the senate mattered in any way but a  symbolic one at this point, that Palpatine was still prepared to just give back his power when he deemed it was best. Anakin was many things but never naive.

A bitter part of you noted how easily the change to Palpatine’s title came to him.

“Of course” you tried to assure him with your best smile, an awkward hand coming up and patting his “I’m still a senator”

He seemed to relax slightly at this, his posture slouching ever so slightly as his smile grew easier, crinkling the edges of his eyes just a little more now than it did before.

“What about you are you okay?” The question held more weight than he could possibly realize.

“I’m good” he sighed out, leading you softly over to the couch “the jedi order, the republic, all of it wasn’t working, hadn’t for some time and emperor Palpatine changed that. I really think it’s for the better”

And you weren’t sure whether it would’ve been worse if he had told you he was being forced into the whole thing. If you would rather he had somehow been blackmailed into his new role or if he truly believed in the empire, choosing instead to dismantle all that you devoted your life to of his own volition.

“Good” you nearly choked on the word as it came out, your forced smile starting to ache in your cheeks as you fought to keep it on “I’m glad”

He smiled warmly back at you and in that moment he looked too much like the Anakin you knew, the man you’d shared many stolen moments with in closets and empty rooms, the man you wanted more than anything in that moment to just come home to.

“Anyway there was something important you wanted to tell me” he prompted softly, turning softly into you, encapsulating both your hands in his with a soft squeeze.

And your mind jumped immediately to the test hidden in your luggage in the bedroom at that very moment, to the moment you had pulled him into the nearest closet just before everything went down, to the excitement you had felt in that moment and carried with you even as he told you he had to go, that you could tell him later. Only for later to never come.

Your mouth dropped open slightly, an amalgamation of words tumbling around inside you with no real idea which would spring forth first. A part of you wondered what would happen if you told him. Would he give it all up? Run away with you? Become the fantastic father you knew he would be away from the sway of the empire, from Palpatine?

But you knew better.

“Oh it was nothing” you shook him off “can hardly remember it now”

He studied you carefully, mistrust evident in every feature on his face. Instead of objecting, however, he just brought a hand up to softly cup your cheek.

And oh how you hated how quickly your body reacted, leaning into the touch softly, your eyes fluttering closed before you could stop them.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

His words were soft but you could hear the earnestness in them, the slight beg for you to let him in.

“Yeah I know” you opted for a half truth, never that good at denying him anything, knowing that in any other circumstance you wouldn’t have even hesitated, hell before all of this you were excited to tell him.

But circumstances change, people changed, you just wished that he had picked a path you could follow down.

“I’m just feeling a little tired, I think I’m going to lay down for a nap” you shrugged off his hand softly, pulling yourself back from picking it up with your own, forcing yourself to drop his other one, to push yourself up off the couch, to take a step back, to put that first bit of distance between the two of you.

And you could see him recoil slightly at the sudden declaration, at your sudden dismissal of him, a brief moments shock spent frozen on the couch before he pushed himself up with a dejected nod, a soft hesitant voice you hardly recognized as Anakin’s coming from him “yeah of course, just let me know if you need anything okay?”

For a moment your mind was captured by thoughts of what could have been, Anakin taking care of you through bouts of morning sickness, bringing you packages of whatever pregnancy cravings you had in the middle of the night, rubbing your swollen feet while you talked lazily on the couch. It felt unfair that a person could mourn something that would never come to pass.

“I will, thanks Ani”

And despite the tension in the air you saw the corner of his mouth twitch up at the familiar nickname. He gave a small nod before backing away and heading for the door, his hand coming up to the panel and hovering over its surface, a brief moment spent frozen before he spoke, calling out your name and spinning around to find you.

But he didn’t need to look far, you hadn’t moved from your spot as you watched him go.

“I love you”

And it would’ve been so much easier if he hadn’t have said that, if some part of you could’ve been able to push his feelings over all of this to the back of your mind, if you had been left to believe that on some level he would be okay if you left him.

“I love you too Ani” and even worse you meant it

-

“So this is why you ran?” the familiar voice broke you from your thoughts as you stared forward at the busy playground but didn’t necessarily surprise you, it was after all a voice you had been waiting to here again after too many years.

A million reactions to that voice ran through your head all at once, each one completely contradicting the one before. Run away, embrace him, hide your daughter, introduce him to her. So instead you stayed frozen in place, your gaze locked on the colorful jungle gym before you.

“I decided she deserved a better life than what the empire could give her” Still you refused to look at him, refused to put a face to that comforting voice you had always been inexplicably drawn to. Instead you focused on keeping your head held high, to stave off any guilt that threatened to leach into your tone. You couldn’t afford to look weak over this decision not now.

“she?” but god that little tremble in his voice nearly broke you, every doubt you had over the years amplified by a minor change in pitch. It was precisely why you had left in the first place, and here he was again threatening to pull you back in all over again.

You cleared your throat softly, gesturing across the playground vaguely with your head “bright pink coat, attempting to climb the monkey bars”

A shaky exhale sounded from beside you, a slight shift as he scooted closer but you weren’t sure whether you liked the feeling or hated it. “she looks just like you” The smile you could hear in his voice, however, that you relished.

“She’s got your eyes” you responded softly, laughing quietly as you watched her run and jump off the platform in an attempt to get high enough to reach the first rung “and your reckless relationship with danger”

You felt Anakin go tense beside you the minute her shoes left the ground, watching as she sailed missing the bar by mere inches and tumbling to the ground. Your hand came out to his elbow the minute you felt his weight shift as he got ready to go help her, freezing the two of you in place as you watched her pick herself up and dust herself off before abandoning her quest for the monkey bars and taking off for the swings.

“Tough kid” Anakin laughed almost in disbelief, watching her shake off the fall as if it were nothing.

“taught her early on if she was going to make stupid decisions she better be prepared to deal with the consequences”

A tense silence fell over the two of you at your words. It only occurring to you then that you still had your hand on his arm, pulling it back quickly, acting as if it were nothing, as if your fingers weren’t aching to reach out to him again.

“You know I was high up in the empire” he broke the silence with heavy words, inlaid with more depth than he probably meant “I could’ve given her a good life”

You shook your head at his words, eyes never leaving your daughters form as she started to swing, blissfully unaware of who had just shown up “there was a time I would’ve believed that” you responded honestly with a sigh “but after everything the empire has done, after seeing what is has become, I know I made the right call”

“the schools I could get her into, the house I could provide-“ Anakin pushed on only making your lip tremble slightly, your eyes closing as you let out a shaky beath, cutting him off.

“stop Ani” and the two of your froze at the nickname, the way it slipped out too easily from your lips, how much you liked the sound of it “the empire destroyed everything I fought for in an instant. It overthrew a democracy I devoted my life to in favor of a dictatorship, it killed millions of people I gave my life to serve as their representative, it took everything from me including you” and finally you turned to face him, not at all surprised to see familiar blue eyes already staring down at you, each feature swimming through an ocean of emotions he wasn’t quite sure which to land on. “I wasn’t going to let them take her too”

You each took a moment, eyes bouncing back and forth between one another’s, you taking a moment to take in a face that somehow looked the exact same as it had years ago and yet changed so much.

Still he shook his head softly, eyes casting back out to the playground before him “I would’ve come with you”

And you’d spent too much time pondering that same question to just let it slide “you wouldn’t have”

Anakin’s head snapped back to yours, eyebrows drawing in in confusion and hurt “You think I would’ve chosen anything else over you? Over her?” he gestured over to the swings, your daughter kicking her feet to climb higher and higher into the air.

“I think you would’ve tried to talk me into staying, and I was afraid I was too weak to say no” you answered honestly, watching as he shook his head again clearly not liking that as an answer “and I think even if you had wanted to come with me they wouldn’t have let you” that gave him pause, his brows furrowing slightly at your words, silently prompting you to continue “you were the emperors right hand man, the one set to inherit everything. They weren’t going to let you go that easily”

“I was in too deep, so you just gave up on us” he paused for a second, a deep breath running through him before he continued “gave up on me”

Immediately you were scooching yourself closer to him, thigh coming to rest right along his as you took one hand in yours, using it to pull his attention back to you. “If circumstances were different” you began slowly, blindly searching for the right words for the feeling you had never been able to let go of “I would’ve stayed with you. No question, no hesitation, I would always choose you.” And you gave those words a second to sink in, hoping more than anything that he would believe you on that much, “But now I have her to think about” you nodded vaguely in your daughters direction, Anakin’s gaze briefly following yours before snapping quickly back to your figure, his hand squeezing yours just a little tighter “At that time that meant getting her out of there by whatever means necessary”

“And now?” he asked quietly, eyes practically begging you for an answer

“Darth vader has no place in our family” you answered solemnly, giving the statement a moments pause to cement it “however, Anakin Skywalker always has a place at our table”

You could see his face start to break out into a smile but your attention was pulled away too quickly by a familiar voice shouting “mommy” before a weight was pushed onto your lap as your daughter buried her head into your chest, not bothering to slow down from her dead sprint before she jumped onto your lap.

You gave a dramatic “oof” that had her giggling as she brought her gaze up to meet yours, a wide smile on her face as she started to talk “did you see how high I went on the swings mommy? Did you see me go?”

Her excited fast talking pulled an easy smile to your cheeks as your voice got higher slightly, nodding eagerly along with her “I did see you went sooooo high you’re such a brave little girl”

“I’m not that little” she protested with a giggle and a dramatic roll of her eyes, her gaze cutting briefly to Anakin’s form next to you, the question of who this man was clearly bubbling beneath the surface, nothing but her own shyness keeping it at bay.

“Come here” you said softly, twirling her around so she sat in your lap with her back against your chest, her head tucked perfectly just beneath your chin “do you remember all those stories I tell you about the super cool Jedi?”

“Obi-wan?” she asked innocently and you couldn’t help but laugh, if nothing else the girl’s comedic timing was on point.

“no the other one, the one that worked to bring balance to the force?”

“Daddy?” she asked eagerly and you heard a breath escape from Anakin, a quick glance up to him showed that his eyes were glued to the little girl in your lap.

“That’s right” you assured her with a smile growing more strained by the second, a tightness in your chest growing as you knew what her next question would be.

She looked over at Anakin curiously, not quite shying away from him but keeping her distance from her spot in your lap, choosing instead to carefully study the man before her. “Is he going to come live with us now?”

Your eyes jumped up to Anakin’s as he tore his gaze from the girl in your lap, an expression on his face that seemed to ask you the same question.

“I don’t know sweetheart” you began hesitantly “I think Daddy’s got some things he needs to figure out before-“

“Yes” Anakin cut you off before you could finish, making your eyebrows shoot up at him, your eyes silently asking him if he was sure, if he knew what he was agreeing to right now, if he was really prepared for a step like that.

Instead his gaze broke back down to his daughter, a small smile growing on his face as he stooped slightly as he spoke “that is if it’s okay with you?”

“mmmm” you daughter hummed loudly, clearly missing the desperation in Anakin’s expression as she held him on the edge of his seat, pondering the question carefully before asking “are you a good swing pusher?”

A strained, relieved chuckle from his lips at her question, an eager answer following it quickly “I’m an excellent swing pusher”

“Then as long as it’s okay with mommy” she declared simply, Anakin’s eyes breaking once again up to meet yours, a single question held within them.

And looking into his eyes you thought of the person he had become after the republic fell, the person you felt you had to flee in order to raise your daughter in a safe environment, the person that became the very thing you’d once worked to destroy.

But looking at him all you saw was your Anakin. The man who had only ever tried to do what he thought was best, the man who would lay down his life with no hesitation to protect you, the man who ever since meeting her had been hanging off your daughters every word. Five minutes in and she already had him wrapped around her little finger.

“What about your job” you asked him, your expression holding more meaning than your actual words “back on Coruscant”

“I’m done with that” he answered immediately, inching closer to the two of you “no one knows I’m here”

“Are you sure” you asked him slowly, a million tiny expansions on that question flowing silently through you. Are you sure that you’re done with the empire, that no one will come looking for you, that this is really what you want?

“I’ve never been more sure of anything” he answered softly, eyes never breaking contact with yours as he said it.

And you let that answer hang In the air for a moment, searching his expression for any sign of doubt but ultimately finding none. You opened your mouth to speak when you daughter decided to break the silence for you, grabbing Anakin by the hand she hopped off your lap and started to drag him towards the playground. “Good you can come push me on the swings now”

And you couldn’t help but laugh as you watched him follow her eagerly, a grin on his face you hadn’t realized how bad you had missed seeing as he helped her into the seat, starting to push her almost hesitantly, as if he were afraid she would fall off.

So true to form your daughter demanded higher, eliciting a hearty laugh from the former jedi you could hear from across the playground, bringing a soft smile to your face as you watched the two of them, whispering softly to yourself “welcome home Ani”

[gffa]

Yaddle has taken charge of a Force-sensitive youngling who has seen a lot of pain and suffering over the last several days, before she'd really been trained to handle it. And this is set during the High Republic era, showing that the Jedi have been consistent about why they train younglings so early and why it's not that younglings are bad if they've suffered or have trouble letting go of the pain, it's that they struggle with what it means to be a Jedi and the abilities granted to them and their place in the galaxy. And it's not that the Jedi aren't willing to try--they're trying with Cippa, they'll try with Anakin, as this scene feels like a giant neon sign pointing out the parallels--but that it is harder when you don't have the foundation needed to deal with the psychic weight of what dealing with your emotions means in the Force. The Jedi aren't perfect, but they were genuinely trying and their reasons are very much in line with what the narrative intends to say. It's not that I think Anakin never tried or didn't want to master himself, but that ultimately he didn't want it more than he wanted to hide away from the hard work. That I've said many times I think he may have made it and been an incredible Jedi if it weren't for Palpatine's influence, that I've noticed the stories that end without his interference tend to end with Anakin figuring his way through the struggle and connecting with Obi-Wan and the Jedi, but in stories where Palpatine is involved, he tends to end up more isolated. (Cue that quote where George Lucas said that, had Anakin been found when he was younger, he would have been trained to love people but let them go when time.) It's the same with Yaddle's view of Cippa here, that the pain and suffering isn't this child's fault, but it does make it harder when she's already got a foundation of coping that will have to be undone. It's difficult to teach children to let go of fear when fear is so much of what they've known, because when your connection to a mystical energy field that lets you crush people with your mind is wholly dependent on your thoughts and feelings (ie, your emotions are the light or the dark, they are the same thing), you need to have a rock solid foundation. (Star Wars: The High Republic: Cataclysm)

[thememerman]

Yk what kills me about this. Obi-Wan really had every right to be just as angry at the clones as Kanan did. Yes he was older and he didn’t witness his master being murdered in front of him BY THE CLONES ANYWAY, but he lost literally every single one of his friends on the Council (aside from Yoda) to Order 66 and Palpatine. Order 66 almost killed him too. He heard Cody asking for confirmation of his death almost immediately after getting shot down. He had to kill members of the 501st just to survive Coruscant and change the signal being broadcasted out of the temple. And then he sees a clone for the first time in 10 years. The face that he first fought in the rain all those years ago on Kamino. The face of his Commander. The face of Anakin’s Captain. The face of every single clone that he’d fought side by side with for an entire war, the faces that he knew killed the closest people he had to a family. And what does Obi-Wan do? He does not ignore him, he does not show any signs of bitterness nor resentment. He gives him money. Maybe in doing so he silently thanks every single clone that ever died for him, maybe he sees a bit of himself in an old beaten down veteran who was once the face of goodness and hope and everything the Old Republic stood for, scavenging in the streets and just trying to survive. Perhaps for Obi-Wan, it’s getting to say goodbye to the friends he maybe never really knew why he lost. Or maybe it really was just Obi-Wan, for the billionth time, being so selfless and kind when almost nobody in his shoes could have done the same.

[crazystargirl]

it's over y/n! i have the high ground! ♥︎

pairing - jack champion x fem!reader

(NOT PROOFREAD)

a/n - this is literally as old as my writing acc- (p.s. this may be one of the last jack/ethan fics i ever post since ong coriolanus snow HAS A CHOKEHOLD ON ME)

"Y/n, my allegiance is to the Republic, to Democracy!"

How did you get here again?

Oh yeah, Jack had dragged you to Disney World a few days early and it was all fun until he dragged you into the gift shop and spent a whole hour there.

You were utterly convinced that your boyfriend was secretly a 10 year old. Like who goes to Disney World and buys 300 dollars worth of lightsabers? Only Jack but you had to admit some of them were actually really cool.

And the minute you guys got home, Jack insisted on recreating a scene from one of the movies. You initially said no since you were exhausted from the day's events but Jack gave you his puppy eyes, knowing you couldn't say no to those. You gave in and he decided he wanted to recreate Anakin and Obi-Wan's iconic fight from Revenge of the Sith.

As much as you wanted to be Obi-Wan for obvious reasons, Jack once again convinced you to let him be Obi-Wan. God you loved him but sometimes it wasn't fair how easily he was able to convince you.

So here you were now and after rereading the script for that scene, you finally got down the lines. 

"If you're not with me, you're my enemy" you manage to say with a straight face despite wanting to laugh because of Jack's overly dramatic shocked face. 

"Only a sith lord deals in absolutes, i will do what i must"

"You will try…"

You both ignite your lightsabers and Jack immediately advances over to you, clashing his lightsaber with yours. Since he is taller and stronger you stumbled back a few times, but were able to get back on your feet and return his hits with the same energy.

After fighting for what felt like hours, you guys had made a huge mess of all the pillows in the hotel room but you could care less. 

Eventually you're standing on the couch and Jack is standing on the bed, which in all honesty makes him more intimidating than before since he's so tall. His head is also about to hit the ceiling but you're not about to mention that to him. 

"I have failed you y/n. I was never able to teach you how to think"

You suppress a smile as you say your next line.

"I should've known the jedi were plotting to take over…"

"From the sith point of view, y/n my love, chancellor palpatine is evil"

You giggle so much at his words that you almost fall off the couch

"From the jedi point of view! Jack, from my point of view the jedi are evil"

"Well than you are lost!"

"This is the end for you my love! I wish it were otherwise"

You jump on the bed and start fighting with Jack until you end up on the couch again.

"It’s over y/n, I have the high ground!"

"You underestimate my power jack!"

"Don't try it baby"

You start to jump on the bed and Jack hits you in the knee with the light saber. You let out a scream and Jack freezes, actually thinking he hurt you. You use this to your advantage and get on the bed, forgetting about what actually happened in the movie. 

After fighting for 5 minutes, Jack gets you on the ground and pins you there with his body weight

"Jack get off of me! You're so fucking heavy!" 

"Noooo you have to surrender first!"

He starts peppering kisses on your face as you struggle from under him.

"Ok Jack, i actually surrender, i'm gonna actually suffocate from under you."

He got up and wrapped himself around you. You wrapped yourself around him too and you guys just stayed like that for a while. Eventually you started squirming to let him know you guys needed to get up. He got the hint and untangled himself from you.

"Well that was fun but we're leaving tomorrow and we need to clean up the mess we made…"

Jack gets up and looks around. He stands there for a bit and thinks.

"Why don't we just go get some food first?"

"Jack…we have to clean up and then we can get food."

He turns back to you and throws you over his shoulder. He starts walking to the door of the hotel room.

"I think we can go get food and then we can clean up…or play again" He says with a smirk.

You sigh and stop trying to escape from his grasp. Your boyfriend is truly something else

@xyzstar, @gwenlore, @dizscreams, @urmomcomsiimiamour, @nonniesworld, @chemtr4ilz, @phsychobanana

© crazystargirl 2023 || do NOT copy or repost my work without my permission

[marvelstars]

I believe Anakin would have truly thrived outside the Jedi Order not because being a Jedi was impossible for him but because the Jedi Order of his time lived a way of life that just wasn´t for him.

Anakin loved to take care and love his mother and the other people who lived on Tatooine as a show of his goodness. He didn´t think those expressions of love he learned from his mother and the only thing he could allow himself as a slave could ever be wrong, he wasn´t owner of his body or his life but he could own his actions and be happy for the people he helped.

The Order teached control of self and emotions and the force which is great but also emotional distance from friends and family(even they lowkey did this between masters and padawans) which was something alien to Anakin who believed there was nothing wrong in showing open love, friendship or care for family and friends.

In this scenario it wasn´t hard for Palpatine to show himself as Anakin´s emotional support when he was a young kid and obi-Wan thought it was wrong to treat Anakin differently to other padawans but Anakin wasn´t ever accepted as part of their community, he was too different, leaving Anakin isolated from everybody in the Jedi order since he was a 9 year old.

So training with the Jedi Order was good for his force control but very toxic for his mental estability, knowing his mother was left a slave for him to be made a Jedi only added guilt to this already bad circunstance. If he had grow up with Shmi or bassically any family who showed him open care and had the opportunitny to rescue his mother from slavery he would not have become Vader and he would have thrived even more than he did on Tatooine as a slave or during the clone wars as a general.

This is also why I believe Leia and Luke thrived by having a loving family growing up and later by having a strong community of like minded people in the rebellion who loved them openly and saw them as examples to follow, who actually managed the impossible.

This is why I don´t believe comparisions between Luke, Leia and Anakin are fair because yes, Anakin did fall and he is responsible for his own actions just like Luke and Leia became heros for their own will and actions but then again, Luke and Leia never had to deal with slavery, isolation/rejection from their caretakers, lack of emotional support and a snake as their main emotional support since they were young kids. I don´t know if they had fallen under those circunstances as well but they definitely would not be the same people they became.

I just love the three of them and wish there was a what if story in which all of them along with Ahsoka, Shmi and Padme got to become a family. Still love Star Wars as the tragic story of this family.

[confused-much]

I've just rewatched Revenge of the Sith for like a 5th time and you know what annoys me the most?

That some people think Anakin is the most tragic character of Star Wars.

Like, yeah he was a slave and his mother was killed but most of his other suffering was his own doing.

HE killed the Jedi, including kids (as he did sand people).

HE decided to get married to Padme despite his problem with attachments and hide it from the Order.

HE decided to save Palpatine for his own gain.

HE choked Padme!!! The woman he supposedly loved and couldn't live without!!!

HE chose to fight Obi-Wan and even when Obi-Wan told him it's over, he still chose to attack him.

Most of his suffering was self inflicted and seriously, I don't even feel sorry for him. He deliberately chose to allign himself with a literal Sith Lord just because he wanted to save Padme. And while yes, I could understand the sentiment, he did it selfishly ("I can't live without her!" he screams at Windu before cutting his hand.

When he tells Padme about his dreams, she asked what about their child and he doesn't care about it, he only cares about Padme because HE cannot leave without her, screw her feelings or thoughts on that matter), dooming all of the Republic, not even thinking about other alternatives before.

So no, I don't think Anakin is the most tragic character. But you know who I think is?

Obi-Wan

In a span of a short time he:

- was betrayed by the men he was fighting with for the whole war

- lost his home and family

- had to fight the person he considered his brother

- became a hunted down man

- was betrayed by the person he considered his brother (who also killed kids)

- was forced to go into exile to Tatooine and spend his time alone, guarding Luke, a son of the person who was directly responsible for all of his suffering

- he lost Padme who he valued as a good friend

And before that he also:

- lost his master after said master was ready to throw him away for the Chosen One™ (I hate Qui Gon with passion)

- lost a woman he loved (killed by the same man who killed his master)

And somehow, Obi-Wan till the end was loyal to Jedi teachings and never went to the dark side. And, guess what, none of the points above were his doing! He got dealt with shitty hand all the time and yet he still endured it and still had faith!

Man, I love Obi-Wan.

[antianakin]

Man, now that I've made the connection between Palpatine intentionally manipulating Anakin against the Jedi and Anakin somewhat unintentionally poisoning Ahsoka against the Jedi, I can't unsee it.

We have this lineage that, yes, is called the disaster lineage, but is full of such beautiful wonderful Jedi who seem to have genuinely loved being a Jedi (at least, for a while in Dooku's case) and genuinely loved teaching and loved their students. And we see how that love and passion and dedication DID get passed down. We can see Yoda's patience and cleverness in Dooku, Dooku's passion in Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon's love and determination in Obi-Wan. We can even see some of Obi-Wan's lessons in Anakin every so often.

But Anakin isn't listening the same way everyone else was. Anakin doesn't believe the same way everyone else did.

Anakin gives lip service to the lessons he learned from Obi-Wan ("purpose before feelings") and Ahsoka certainly HEARS them, but she's also picking up just as much from Anakin's actual actions and choices and the lessons he teaches that go unsaid as she ever is from the few times he throws out some platitudes. She picks up on his mistrust of the Council, his belief that the Jedi aren't good enough. She knows that he wants to leave, that he's not even necessarily HAPPY as a Jedi all the time. She picks up on his disobedience and arrogance and impatience and puts herself in dangerous situations because of it. She sees his attachments, his attachment to HER, his attachments maybe even to Padme and Obi-Wan.

Anakin passes on just as much if not more of what he learned from PALPATINE than he ever did from Obi-Wan. Because actions can speak louder than words, and Anakin's actions show where his beliefs and values truly lie, and it isn't with the Jedi.

So Anakin breaks the lineage. He destroys Ahsoka's hopes of ever truly being a good Jedi Knight long before he commits genocide against the Order because he'd already started turning her against them, potentially without even realizing that that's what he was doing. Ahsoka got trained by Darth Vader, by Palpatine's apprentice, before he took on the name and position officially.

Which raises the question of whether Ahsoka WOULD'VE stayed in the Order ultimately in a situation where the Wrong Jedi arc doesn't happen, Palpatine is killed early, and Anakin stays for longer for one reason or another, but remains married to Padme and living a life of secrecy and lies. Would Ahsoka have ultimately had just enough mindfulness to decide to walk away? Would she have always decided the Jedi were too busy playing politics to truly help anyone, or did that only happen because of the Wrong Jedi arc? Would Anakin's training of her always have ultimately led to that end just because he's giving her Palpatine's poison, but she grew up on Jedi foundations of mindfulness that would give her the ability to actually walk away that Anakin has never had?