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ravenadottir · 4 years

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can u make wht bobby gonna do if mc was pregnant, i bet its gonna be rlly cuteeee

🥰🥰🥰 ok, that’s pretty cute!

and i didn’t exactly write tons of pregnancy stuff with him in “pastry cuddle”, so let’s dive in!

- watch him jump around, spin you in the air in his arms, stay hours on the phone, yelling and skipping like a kid who just got a christmas ps5 because you told him you’re pregnant

- mentally doing severe mental math to see what he needs to buy every month from now to eternity

- panicking a little, even though you guys are comfortably set, financially speaking, because now he’s gonna be responsible for another life

- calming down after you cup his chin and say “bobby... relax. we got this covered”

- bringing snacks to wherever you go, no matter if a long trip or a short drive to the grocery store/work

- gifts like “fashionable” pregnancy clothes. “none of that 80′s/90′s mom gear they used to wear! you’re still a gorgeous lass and it shows!”

- on a calmer moment of the day, you’re both lying on the couch watching something, and bobby often falls asleep close to your belly

- on that note, he caresses it and talks to the baby, or babies, a lot!

- still on that melty topic, he sings to them all the time. most of the times he’ll pick a soothing melody like “over the rainbow”, “la vie en rose” or “what a wonderful world”, starting out with a louis armstrong voice, to make you laugh, then picking up on his normal and raspy tone

- foot rubs! lots of it!

- has reminders on his phone for your vitamins, drinking water timestamps, snack time, meal time etc.

- the bed has turned into a zoo of pillows, specifically for your back

- bobby now has installed ai everywhere in the house, so you don’t have to get up to do anything, even though you should

- he doesn’t let you do house chores, even though you should. “i’m pregnant, bobby, not sick. i should be contributing too!” “well... stil...” cuts to him in a flowery apron, rubber gloves on, doing the dishes while there’s food in the oven, and the house is neatly clean

- nighttime often ends up with your head on his lap and his hands either running on your hair, cheek or shoulders, to help you relax.

- MOST - PANICKY - DAD - IF - BRAXTON - HICKS - HAPPEN!!!

- and he’ll take you to the hospital, almost crying, but doing the best he can to hide his desperation. it’s not working but he’s trying!

- you will have some problems while choosing the names. believe bobby wants to know the sex so he can pick tons of stuff, but he gets lost in the choices because he doesn’t want to conform. at the same time he wants to picture his little girl in a cute fluffy dress, or the boy in a cool sleeves up shirt and a sideways ballcap.

- he’ll suggest plenty of absurd names before taking it seriously, just because he knows it relieves the pressure you must be feeling. so he’ll be joking around with marvel names, star trek characters, possibly diving into the dr. who dimension!

- expect lots of censorship when it comes to food. he’s mostly concerned about your feeding habits and will police you to not get it too extravagant.

- “i owe you for life. you’re having my kid.”

- instead of relaxing on the last month, he’ll go a little insane and practise “middle of the night” runs, kind of like marshall eriksen did, on himym. (couldn’t find a clip but he uses a watermelon and alarms to train himself in waking up promptly)

things he’ll say directly to your stomach:

“lass, do you think they know i’m their dad?” he asks while trying to listen a kick

“i’m gonna help you with the lasses. or the lads. or with none. i’m gonna love you no matter what happens.” he tears up while stroking your skin

“once upon a time there was this gorgeous princess who fell in love with the court jester. after all, he was no common fool. he was getting paid to be funny.” “yeah, he wishes.” you respond, directing his hand up and down on the bump.

once the water breaks he has everything covered. the bags with baby articles, your own with your comfortable clothes, favorite products and the most entertaining games and apps he could find to download on your phone

- “push! i mean, i’m not bossing you around, but like... push!” while the doctor furrows their brows, shaking their head.

- trembling from head to toe when holding his baby for the first time. not even noticing his tears of joy

- melting away while seeing you holding them

- sniffing constantly because he can’t help being so in love with you and your child

- “i look disgusting!” “you look beautiful, it’s what you look, lass.”

- as soon as that little piece of him grabs his finger it’s over for dad!bobby

- the first time you fall asleep with them in your arms, bobby won’t resist and will take a picture. he’ll keep that one just for him

now i’m in my feels! thanks a lot, anon! jk jk

hope this is what you were looking for!

#litg bobby #litg #love island the game #love island the game season 2 #litg s2 #litg season 2 #fusebox #fusebox games #queue #pregnancy #dad!bobby

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wwitbeyondmeasure · 4 years

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Summer at the Burrow / Ron Weasley fan fiction

Previous Chapters

Introduction / Author’s Note / Chapter 1: The Journey to the Burrow / Chapter 2: Hidden Letters / Chapter 3: Ron’s Return / Chapter 4: Nighttime Conversations / Chapter 5: A Morning Surprise / Chapter 6: The Quidditch Match / Chapter 7: Girl Talk / Chapter 8: Aphrodite’s Push / Chapter 9: Mistakes and Love Potions / Chapter 10: You Would Be Fine / Chapter 11: Spell It Out / Chapter 12: Long Overdue

Chapter 13: Always Want You

Author's note: okay so this chapter is gonna be a little steamy...pretty much the entire chapter is literally just steam so if you're not comfortable with that please don't read this chapter! thanks! :)

Your knuckles hovered over the wooden door of Ron's bedroom. They were shaky, and your heart was beating faster and faster. You had successfully slipped out of Ginny's room after (of course) gushing to her and Hermione about all the romantic things that Ron had said to you. You were pretty sure they had seen you leave Ginny's room during the sleepover, but they opted to let you have your fun.

And fun you would have. If only you could work up the courage to knock on the door.

You don't know why you were nervous. Ron just bared his heart and soul to you outside a few hours ago but now standing at his bedroom door, you were racked with nerves. What if he changed his mind? What if you messed something up? What if you weren't as good a kisser as he was? Juvenile thoughts, yeah, but everything with Ron was new and exciting, you couldn't help feeling so inexperienced.

Before you could even decide whether or not to turn around and run back up the stairs, you heard a very familiar squawking noise. Dite. Perfect opportunity, you thought, before knocking on the door

The door swung open before you could even lift your hand away. Your knuckle was frozen there in midair as your gaze met Ron's. He had changed out of his button-up from the party and was now wearing loose sweat pants and his signature Chudley Cannons t-shirt. Just the sight of him made your head feel woozy and clouded.

"I....uh...heard Dite, so I decided to come check on her," you said, very awkwardly. Even though you knew how Ron felt about you, and vice versa, you still found yourself at a lost for words standing at his bedroom door. For some reason kissing him now seemed drastically different from kissing him in the garden.

Ron gave you a lazy grin.

"You came just for Dite, huh?" He asked, seeing right through you. Blush spread across your cheeks and you nodded curtly.

Before you could make any more of a fool of yourself, Ron gently clasped his fingers around your wrists and pulled you into the room, promptly shutting the door behind him. He then pushed your back up against the door and kissed you. Surprised, your hands flew to his hair and you deepened the kiss. Even though you had exchanged countless little kisses the entire night (you could barely keep your hands off each other), every single one had felt as passionate and important as the first.

Ron pulled away from you, his grin still playing on his, now chapped, lips.

"Still only here for Dite?" He asked, his eyes joking.

"Definitely," you responded, taking every ounce of your will power to push away from him rather than wrap your legs around his torso. You walked over to the owl cage in the corner of the room. Inside, standing on straw and looking very smug, was your little friend Dite.

You stroked the top of her feathers with the back of your fingers, smoothing out the black heart on top of her head. While you were distracted by your pet, you felt strong warm arms wrap around your waist from behind. Ron leaned down to rest his chin on your shoulder.

"Do you think she knows? About us?" Ron asked, tilting his head towards the small owl you were petting.

"Oh, definitely. She's practically screaming 'I told you so!' right now."

Ron wrapped his arms tighter around you as he chuckled. Your entire body felt warm with him wrapped around you. Wow, you thought. You could get used to this feeling.

He laughed again, kissing your shoulder while doing it so you felt his hot breath on your bare shoulder. You decided to wear a tank top and pajama pants to meet him tonight, and you were glad you did. His breath directly on your exposed skin was driving you insane.

"What're you laughing at?" You asked, your fingers moving away from petting Dite and instead landing on his arm. You traced up and down his freckled limb, soaking in every bit of him.

"People always say I'm the dumb one, but I literally bought you an owl named Aphrodite and you still didn't know how I felt about you," he said. You could feel his shoulders jostling up and down as he spoke so you knew he was still laughing.

Rolling your eyes, you turned around in his arms and were now facing him. Your fingers trailed from his biceps up to his neck as you wove your fingers through his orange hair.

"I didn't want to assume anything," you defended yourself.

Ron lowered his lips to yours. "I wish you would've, then we could've done this a lot sooner," he responded. You could feel the shape of his words barely touching your lips as he spoke against them.

"Done what, exactly?" You asked teasingly.

His lips connected with yours once more and as he kissed you deeply, he slowly walked you back towards his bed.

"This," he mumbled huskily when your knees hit the edge of the mattress.

Desire pooled into every pore of your body as you laid down on his bed, him hovering above you.

"Some privacy, please?" You said, regarding the birds in the corner of the room. Dite sent a wink in your direction as she flapped out her wings and took flight. As soon as your owls had flown out the open window, you dragged Ron's face down to yours.

"Kiss me, Weasley," you breathed.

And kiss you he did.

You thanked your lucky stars you were laying down because if not, your knees would have given out with the intensity of Ron's kiss. His mouth was hot against yours, his tongue dragging across your bottom lip hungrily. You kissed him back with the same feverish energy, wrapping your leg around his waist in one swift motion. He grunted into the kiss, left hand coming up to tangle in your hair as his right trailed down your body, touching you in places you desperately needed him at. His lips trailed from your mouth to your neck, leaving hot wet kisses along your jaw line.

"Y/n," he rasped against your skin, making you shudder under him.

Slowly, he kissed from your neck to your collarbone, relishing in the little moans you were emitting. His fingers bunched around the hem of your tank top, his eyes searching yours for permission. You nodded, letting him lift the material and smiling to yourself when he sharply inhaled. You hadn't worn a bra.

"Decided to keep with tradition, you know?" You joked as his eyes drank in the view of you.

"I love you so damn much," he said, his hands roaming over your body. His eyes bounced back up to yours and held your gaze. "You look so beautiful like this, all splayed out with your hair messy," he said. He was looking at you as if you were the most magical thing in the world-and to him you were. Which is saying a lot, because he was a wizard.

"I'm sorry I ran out on you the morning after we slept together," he blurted out. Wincing, he amended, "I mean not sleep sleep together, but sleeping next to each other, in the same bed, like we did."

It made your nerves ease when you watched him get flustered around you for once, instead of the other way around.

"Why did you?" You asked.

His hands stalled their trek on your body and moved back to your chin, cupping your face. He did that a lot, holding your face in his hands so gently. It made your heart melt and other parts of you heat up.

"I dunno, I guess I've just pictured this moment, right now, what we are doing, for the longest time...and I wanted to act on how I felt so badly that night...but I was too nervous," he confessed sheepishly.

You propped yourself up on your elbows so you could look him deeper in the eyes.

"Apology accepted. Just don't run out on me tomorrow morning, okay?"

His breath caught in his throat.

"You want to stay the night? With me? In my bed?" He asked nervously, as if he couldn't believe his luck.

After glancing down at your bare chest, you looked back up at him.

"Well, obviously," you joked.

He laughed through a grin and brought his lips to yours, before pushing you back into the pillows. Your head rested on his soft pillows and he kissed you again, making you feel like you were floating. His hands explored your chest while your fingers gripped the ends of his t-shirt, tugging it up slightly.

As if he could read your mind, Ron leaned back, quickly taking off his shirt and casting it away. Instantly, you attacked his shoulders and collarbones with hot, open mouthed kisses. You kissed every freckle, every mole, and every muscle on his chest.

Once you felt satisfied, you made your way back up to his lips, attaching yourself to them like they were water and you were dying of thirst. Ron eased you back to the pillows once more as his lips started kissing and sucking at the crook of your neck. You pressed you face into his red hair, the smell of cinnamon and apple filling your nose. He licked a particularly sensitive spot on your neck and you groaned, back arching.

Ron's fingers reached the drawstring of your pants, and he pulled away to look you in the eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this? Because we can wait if you want," he rushed, his words tripping over one another.

You pulled him back into a kiss, breathing through it, "Ron, I want this, I want you, as long as you do too."

"I'll always want you," he replied.

His fingers dipped below your waistband. They immediately found their way to your core and you moaned louder than you expected, heat rushing to your face.

"Alright there, love?" Ron asked with a smug grin.

"Perfect," you replied, moaning again, not really caring about how desperate you must have seemed in the moment.

The rest of the night was filled with the same rhythm, kissing and asking permission and unabashedly showing each other how badly you wanted one another.

This lasted for quite some time, but by the time Dite and Pig had flown back into the room, you and Ron were cuddling together, out of breath, legs tangled up in the sheets.

"Hello," you greeted your owl. She gave you an approving nod before nestling into the straw of her cage, soundly falling asleep.

You turned your attention to the red haired boy laying next to you, his arms wrapped tightly around you. His eyelids were heavy, and you could tell he was just as tired as you were. Taking out years worth of pent up desire and lust really tires a person out.

Ron pressed his lips against your mouth, your temple, your cheek, all the while mumbling "I love you," against your lips, again and again and again.

You fell asleep to that mantra, heart full, hair a mess, and absolutely, blissfully in love.

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zombolouge · 5 years

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Peakly Periodical Volume 19

Or: Dying Light

Hey there, peakers! We’ve had another time skip in this vaguely chronological endeavor. That shoulder injury I got a forever ago turned out to have nothing to do with my shoulder and everything to do with my neck. It’s a vicious injury that has driven me to be stuck inside and in bed for months at a time, but progress has been made with pain management of late and so I’ve finally been able to get back in a chair and at a keyboard to write things again. Healing is…in-process. But that’s better than no healing at all.

My last hike was in December, when I got sick of waiting around and dragged my stiff ass out onto a mountain, because there is only so long I can remain inert before I go insane. It ended up being my last hike for several months, and the warning siren that let me know something really was wrong with my neck, because for the first time I got the pain while I was out there. I didn’t think it was possible for it to start hurting while I was relaxed and active, since that’s the sort of thing they tell you to do to relieve tension and pain. I was being stubborn by going out in the first place, though, and desperately wanted to get another hike in before the year came to a close.

In hindsight, this frustration with the injury probably fueled the problems that I found on this trail. You see, peakers, I made several very bad decisions in a row on this hike. A lot of my “mistakes” up to this point have been me not knowing any better. Slip-ups that were part of the learning process, that I could take in stride. This time, though, I was just plain stupid.

But let’s start from the beginning with this one.

It was a pleasantly warm Saturday. There wasn’t a lot of rain and the clouds occasionally broke to reveal some sunlight, which was nice. I had planned a fairly easy hike, mostly flat and in territory I’d been near before, if not directly in. I was trying not to push myself too far, considering my neck situation. I also had a handful of errands to run that day, and opted to do them before the hike because I doubted I would have the willpower after.

I slept in and started the day slow and easy. I was not in any way rushed. I was leisurely in my pace as I ran my errands. I was enjoying getting out of the house and trying to milk it for all it was worth, expecting the hike to carry me on through the afternoon before I wrapped the day up and put it away. Which would have been fine if I had stuck to my original plan and done the easy hike.

What I did instead, though, was indulge a restless feeling. The hike before this one, on Thanksgiving, was disappointing to me. I wanted something more exciting. I’d been cooped up for weeks on end, sulking over my condition, and the anxiety that brought on was eating away at my sanity. So, as I got in the car and started driving to the easy trail, I decided I would take a chance and aim for a harder one.

Little Si has been a hike I’ve tried to tackle a couple of times, but been rebuffed each time because the parking situation is insane. It’s one of the busiest trails I’ve seen, and there is almost never a free space. You would need to get up and arrive at the lot by about 5am if you didn’t want to fight for space, which is a tall order when you’ve worked all week and still need to eat breakfast before you can rush out the door. On this day, it was about 1pm when I finished all my errands, and I figured maybe, since it was later in the day, I would have a chance to snag a spot. I had hopes that the people who got there in the morning would be finishing their hikes and leaving, giving up the spaces for the next wave of hikers.

So, off I went.

I got to the trailhead at 2pm. In December. On the west coast.

Now, for those of you who have lived out west before, you will know that our sunset occurs at about 4pm that time of year. That means I was starting this hike with a mere 2 or so hours of daylight left. Still, though, that didn’t phase me at the beginning. I’d done night hikes before, and now that I had a flashlight, they seemed to be a cinch. I figured if I was caught out after dark, it wouldn’t be difficult to just turn on that flashlight and enjoy the shadows of the woods!

I shouldered my pack and hit the trail!

The hike itself was fairly mild for most of it. There was a steep incline right at the start, then it leveled out for a ways. The true challenge doesn’t come until the last half-mile on the trail, where it has a very vertical ascent to the summit.

I did find myself enjoying the scenery. There were a couple of places where the trail was difficult to navigate, though. Not in the sense that it was hard to traverse, but it was hard to tell where the trail separated itself from the aimless woodlands. It had a couple of offshoots that don’t lead anywhere in particular, and as I passed them I would get confused about which direction it was I should be headed. Even after all the miles I’d hiked, I was still not the strongest of navigators. I’ve improved on my sense of direction mightily - when this started I could have gotten turned around in a cardboard box - but that doesn’t mean I’ve hit levels where I’d be confident finding my way without GPS. I kept to the trail by virtue of pulling out Google Maps on my phone, which often has trails marked and is helpful in orienting which direction you should be walking.

I was feeling pretty confident with myself as I wound my way through, even though every other hiker I encountered was going down, rather than up. My legs hadn’t yet gotten sore, my breath was even and enduring. My neck was hurting, but I was trying to ignore it. I figured that if if hurt then, the pain I would have later on that night wouldn’t be changed by quitting the hike early.

It was just before the steepest portion of the trail that I started to get nervous. That was boosted by the fact that another pair of hikers had stopped me, to ask if I was familiar with the trail. The pointed out that there was only about half an hour of light left. The implication was that if I didn’t know this trail, I shouldn’t be hiking it in the dark. I dismissed the concerns and lied to them, telling them I was familiar. I couldn’t fathom having much issue finding my way back, as it had been simple enough on the way there.

By the time I realized my mistake, I was too stubborn to turn around.

There’s a point on the trail where I hit this determination that cannot be reasoned with. When I know that I’m so close to the pinnacle that if I turn around I will be emotionally miserable for the rest of my life about it. That’s the easiest time to push, where I get a second wind of energy that propels me to the peak. I had that as I reached the steepest part of this trail, each near vertical switchback promising my addled mind that it could be the last one. That the top was just around the corner. That I would see the world spread out before me just around the bend.

It was true. I reached the top eventually, and it was a staggering view. The city roads could be seen peering through the trees in the distance, street and house lights already lit and dotting the canvas like stars. The sky had turned a deep lavender, the sun already gone past the horizon and leaving only a lingering kiss. Mount Si, the larger of the twin peaks in this area, was close enough that it felt like I could reach out and touch it. I held out my hand, and that was when it truly struck me how dark it was.

The light was dying all around me, everything turning shades of blue and purple as night descended. The temperature on the peak dropped ten degrees in a matter of minutes, and I hugged myself and shivered. I sat there for a bit, contemplating the world and trying not to focus on my neck pain. I was exhausted after the final push to get to the top, that portion of the trail draining me more than the rest of it combined. I could feel my legs shaking from the weariness, which was going to be a problem on the descent.

I knew, in that moment, that a lot would be a problem on the descent. The steepness of this part of the trail was harder than I’d expected, and navigating it wasn’t going to be easy without light. Even with my flashlight to light the way. There were a lot of spots that would require clambering, which meant using both my hands for balance.

I stood there, the wind tossing my hair in every direction, burying the cold through my jacket and into my bones, and knew I’d made a mistake pressing forward.

By the time I turned around, a healthy level of fear had settled over me. I knew the situation I was in wasn’t great, and I knew it was entirely my fault that I’d been placed there. I realized that I hadn’t actually checked my bag to make sure my flashlight was in it. I hadn’t prepared anything warm to wear. I didn’t have any snacks and I was out of water. I hadn’t told anyone where I was because I’d changed my plans at the last minute.

As I descended, the scenarios I wasn’t prepared for played through my head. I thought of a hundred ways that I might get stuck on the trail, injured and unable to call for help with no one to find me. The fear was real and tangible, making my limbs shake even harder on top of the standard trembling that comes with exhaustion. It wasn’t easy to keep moving.

The light completely disappeared before I’d even made it past the first switch-back, so I did find myself trekking in complete darkness. There were spots where I had to feel around to place my foot on stone because I was holding my place with both hands, the flashlight shoved in my mouth so that I could see my breath rising in clouds of steam into the night air. I had to slide downward in a few places because I could find no other way to get down, unable to see the pathways anymore.

I felt a little better after I left the rocky portion of the peak. Still, there was a lot more trail to cover and I felt like collapsing. And, as if to illustrate the continued danger of the darkness, my foot planted right in a hole and sent me flying forward. I remember that moment with more clarity than any other part of that hike. I was airborne for what felt like minutes, and all I could think was “oh, so this is how I die. Here I go.” I was too close to the edge of the trail, and the drop on the side wasn’t one I would come back from. I couldn’t see well enough to know how far I was flying, but I figured I would be well over the edge and off into the abyss. I relaxed, accepting my fate, which was probably the smartest thing I’d done all evening.

When the impact came, I skid through a bunch of dirt and loam, coming to a halt faster than expected. I laid there for a moment, breathing and waiting for a wave of pain, but not much came. I certainly felt bruised, but as I got up I was surprised to note it didn’t feel like I’d shattered all my bones. I held up the flashlight, happily still attached to my wrist by the strap, and noted that I’d come about a foot away from the edge of the trail. Nothing was broken, nothing felt twisted or strained. I was, against all odds, okay.

I continued my trek, careful of my foot placement from that point forward. I didn’t want to press my luck. I got a lot of enjoyment of the utter darkness all around me, despite my fear. Being alone in the night woods is an experience I’m fond of, and I would like to experience it again, just, you know, prepared for things a bit better.

The rest of the hike wasn’t too terrifying. I got through the steep portion and into the flatter woods. I did get turned around and almost lost a few times, but the detours were minimal and I was able to keep to the trail well enough to get back to my car.

I made it home safely. I wasn’t any worse for wear, either, save for a couple of minor bruises. I’d gotten worse stubbing my toe in my own living room.

I’d gotten lucky.

Mistakes and R E G R E T S:

Oh, so many.

1. I accidentally hiked at night. If you’re going to be out after dark, that should be on purpose. You should plan accordingly for it. There’s something to be said for just rolling with the punches, but if you showed up to a boxing match prepared for swimming, the punches are gonna roll YOU.

2. I didn’t pack supplies. Pack extra food and water. Always. You never know when a hike is gonna kick your ass a bit more than you expected, and having the necessary fuel to keep you going enough to get back is vital.

3. I didn’t check for my flashlight. CHECK. THAT. YOUR. FLASHLIGHT. IS. IN. YOUR. BAG. BEFORE. YOU. LEAVE. Checking for it as the light disappears is NOT the appropriate time. I can tell you, too, if I had tried to navigate that trail in the dark with just my phone light, I would have fallen much farther and harder than I did. It would not have been possible. I would have been stranded in the freezing dark or fallen trying to get out.

4. I didn’t take my start time seriously. I should have figured out ahead of time how long this hike would take me and how late it would be when I was on my way back. I didn’t consider any of that until it was happening, and it almost cost me.

5. Nobody knew where I was. When I changed my plans, I should have messaged someone to tell them that. Even if I couldn’t send a link to the trail info, I could have at least given them the trail name via text or something. Or driven to a spot where I had enough signal to do it. Since I hike alone, it’s very important that I let people know where I’m going, so that if I don’t make it back they have an idea of where to send people to look for me.

6. I let stubborn determination override my survival. I wanted to commit to finishing the hike. I was aware it might be the last one I could do for a while until I’d helped my neck, and because of that I wanted to commit to doing the whole thing. I shouldn’t have put that commitment and determination before regular assessment, however. When on the trail, you should always be assessing things. Assess your energy levels, assess your limits, assess the trail difficulty, the time of day, the weather conditions, the temperatures. If any of these get too far out of your comfort zone, it should be okay to turn back. I shouldn’t hold myself to an all-or-nothing standard for anything, but least of all for climbing mountains. If a trail kicks my ass, I’ll come back another time when I’m stronger and kick it right back. Pushing my limits into dangerous territory doesn’t do anything but make this hobby way too risky for my own good.

7. I already knew all of the things above and ignored them. I knew that being unprepared for certain conditions should have made me turn around. I knew that I hadn’t checked my bag for supplies and equipment in weeks and I had rifled through it a few times since then. I knew that I needed to have started the hike earlier if I wanted to avoid the dark. I knew as I was on the trail that I wasn’t prepared for hiking at night. I knew the warning I got from the other hikers was a signal to turn around. I knew that it wasn’t a great idea to change my plans last minute without telling anyone. I knew it all. I knew it all as I went up, and I cursed myself for ignoring it all the whole way down. I ignored it because I wasn’t in a great emotional state due to my injury, and it could have ended up very badly. I was very, very lucky that I got home okay.

Hot Takes for Hikers:

Check. Your. Shit.

This probably goes without saying, as it feels like obvious advice, but checking your bag for everything you might need before you leave should just be part of the routine. I’m at a point now where I don’t think it should matter how short or easy you think the trail might be: check your bag. Have a checklist and make sure everything on it is in there. Every time.

Assess with Every Step

Don’t get so caught up in the adrenaline and the determination that you forget to assess yourself. Know your limits, know when you’re pushing them, and know when you’re hitting them. I know that I, personally, find this difficult. I have anxiety, and so it can be hard to tell the difference between actually survival instincts and plain old anxiety, but I should be leaning towards caution when that line is blurred. Better safe than sorry should be a mantra when you’re hiking alone in unfamiliar territory. I should stop holding it against myself if I end up turning back or giving in early, because some of the times I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone, I’ve landed right in the danger zone. The voice I ignored was the one in charge of self-preservation, and it put me at risk when I didn’t need to be there.

Learning to take the time to assess where I’m at and how I’m feeling is important. Learning to overcome anxiety is great, but I also need to learn to distinguish it from legitimate fear. Fear that is there for good reason. The next step in my hiking adventures is going to be slowly and even more introspective, because my main goal will be to learn the difference. To be able to tell when I need to push my limits and when I need to respect them.

I have a feeling it’s going to be as hard as…well, as climbing a mountain. If I can do the latter, then I can certainly do the former.

Overall Impressions

Song of the Hike: No Light, No Light by Florence + the Machine. For obvious reasons.

Animals Seen: A woodpecker, two rock climbers, and my own foolishness.

Mood: Inadvisable determination followed by realistic anxiety and gratitude at escaping death.

Trail Rank: Fully worth all flashlight usage, would hike again in daylight.

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smokeybrand · 4 years

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Smokey brand Reviews: Diabolical

I’m about to dive head first into The Haunting of Bly Manor but, before i get into that, i needed to touch upon the other franchise I'm mildly addicted to; The Boys. I didn’t want to reviews this show after checking out the first season because i actually binged the whole thing a few months before the release of the second so i figured, you know two-for-one. And then the release schedule went to weekly. It’s f*cking dumb. I had to wait eight whole ass weeks to finally get to this review. Finally, with both seasons in the rear view, i want to take some time and gush about one of my favorite shows. Again, i just want to be clear, this is a reviews of both seasons so there might be a bit of overlap.

The Good

Out the box, the look of this show is incredible. I love all of the suits, all of the effects, all of the powers; The art direction is one hundred percent! I’ve actually read The Boys comics and i was curious how those pretty comic book-ish outfits would translate, particularly Homelander's duds and, i must say, i was thoroughly impressed. It even has the balls to match the straight up gore from the books. These cats never shy away from an exploding body and a chill session inside the guts of an skewered and beached whale. I love it!

I adore this world. It’s like a live action One-Punch Man but far more violent and even more cynical. This came from the demented mind of Garth Ennis so you know it’s nuts. I mean, this is the dude who gave us Preacher and some of the best stories out of Hellblazer. What is even more nuts is that spirit has translated perfectly to what we‘ve seen onscreen so far, a feat that i have to give to ...

The writing. Bro, the writing in that first season was mad on point. It was some of the cleverest, well thought out, brilliantly executed lore i have ever had the pleasure of viewing. It felt completely in step with that we saw, like there was a proper story they wanted to tell and it was told with precision. I also like a lot of the changes made to the narrative for television’s sake. A lot of the gender swapping and plot digression has been pretty interesting making for a richer narrative than the comic, i think.

This cast is absolutely stacked. I’m particularly fond of Jack Quaid, Tomer Capone, Karen Fukuhara, and Laz Alonso as Hughie Campbell, Mother’s Milk, Frenchie, and The Girl, respectively. I’m also fond of Erin Moriarty's Annie January or, as she’s known in her Supe persona, Starlight. Other notable castings include Dominique McElligott, Jessie T. Usher, and Colby Minifie. I also have to give some love to Simon Pegg, Haley Joel Osmet, and Shawn Ashmore for some pretty dope cameos, too. Even with these mentions, i have a few performances that stood out with such fervor that their energy dwarfs literally everyone else in the cast.

Karl Urban as Billy the Butcher is f*cking fantastic. Urban is a great actor and just finds a way to embody his characters. He’s come a long way from Ghost Ship and Chronicles of Riddick. Look, I've loved this dude for years. His Bones is the best thing about the Kelvin Star Trek and his Dredd is easily the best iteration of that character to date. He brought that same, crass, violent, energy to the Supe hating, CIA, psychopath and i love every bit of his carnage.

This show would be nothing without the other side of that barbaric coin in Homelander and this version? F*cking chef kiss, bro. Anthony Starr is bloody brilliant in this role. I mean, i hate Homelander, don’t misunderstand me, but the way Starr portrays him as this inept, smarmy, overpowered, prepubescent teenager is just perfect. He’s a petulant child, a straight up bully, who has gotten everything he’s ever wanted by giving everyone swirlies. It’s f*cking hilarious that Butcher keeps getting over on him.

There are no good people in this show and it was Deep’s sexual assault of Starlight that immediately proved this fact. This scuzzy ass bottom feeder was eventually thrown to the wolves where he experienced his own violation at the hands of a groopie, literally. Witnessing this arrogant, disgusting, rapist effectively crumble into a desperate pile of whimpering regret was awesome to watch and that’s thanks to Chace Crawford’s skeevy ass performance.

God, help me, i completely fell in love with Stormfront. Again, i want to be clear; I despise this Nazi b*tch but, similar to Homelander, the fact that this character was able to solicit such vitriol out of me is what endeared me to the character. That’s a testament to the writing, especially with the gender swap, but i have to give much more credit to Aya Cash. Bro, i love this chick. She’s been excellent in everything I've ever seen her in, especially that old Hulu show, You’re the Worst. That same energy is brought directly to this role in the most insidious and despicable manner and i loved it!

I was surprised to see Elizabeth Shue in this. It’s been a while since she was in anything i actually gave a sh*t about so seeing her pip up in this as what amounts to little more than Homelander’s handler was kind of awesome. her Madelyn Stillwell, anther gender swap i think, was exceptional. She was manipulative and desperate and never in control until those final moments. It’s a shame she went out the way she did. That was f*cked up, mostly because i wanted SO much more with Sitwell but, it opened up an opportunity for...

Stan Edgar portrayed by Gustavo Fring, himself; Giancarlo Esposito. Dude, this cat steals every scene that he’s in. He’s cool, composed, and infinitely calculating. I mean, this is basically Gus in charge of the biggest peddler of superheroes in the world and he maneuvers in the exact same way Fring would. It’s like watching a shark hunt, non-stop, outmaneuvering and corralling schools of oblivious fish right before he feasts. It’s insane how villainous this dude is.

The Meh

The writing in the second season was kinda sus. It was nowhere near as tight as it was in that first run. Don’t get me wrong, it was still pretty good, however, the plot holes were very much obvious. It wasn’t as clever as the first, which is f*cking weird because i thought the overall character writing was much better.

The Black Noir reveal was a bummer. I was looking forward to the Homelander connection but, with this, none of that is a thing. Best reveal of the entire comic and i have no idea how they’re going to manipulate that L into a W.

These first two season felt like The Boys Begin. Like, hindsight in the mirror, there is a lot of ways they can just straight up adapt the comic, point for point, now. It feels like we’re right at the beginning of where the original story started and that kind of takes away from everything we got up to this point. I don’t want to say it cheapened the experienced but, knowing what i know about the books, it does kind of does?

The Verdict

The Boys is excellent. It’s an ultra-violent, amazingly creative, brutally cynical, gratuitously gory, uncomfortably hilarious lampoon of the superhero genre. This thing has one of the dopest cast on TV right now, lead by an irreverent Anthony Starr and an acutely viscous Karl Urban with an outstanding supporting ensemble. The world is intriguing, the Supes compelling, and The Boys enigmatic. The trickle of real-world political satire is mildly concerning but i think the writing handled it well and I'm curious where they take it going forward. The second season is effected by a little bit of that sophomore slump but that first run was excellent. Classic TV in an era of classic TV. This show is great. Even at it’s worst, its still one of the best things available to binge. If you haven’t watched this show, f*cking stop it. Go binge The Boys right the f*ck now!

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recentanimenews · 8 years

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FEATURE: "Mass Effect: Andromeda" Hands-on Impressions

From Valkyria Chronicles to Gears of War to Dishonored, the last console generation gave me a bunch of new game franchises I seriously got into, but none captured my imagination quite like Mass Effect. Hitting a perfect sweet spot somewhere between Star Trek, Farscape, and Firefly with hints of my favorite military sci-fi, Mass Effect really felt like my own adventure--my crew, my mission, my terrible dancing skills.

Yes, I even liked ME3's ending--we'll talk about that another time

After a five-year break, Mass Effect is coming back--or rather, boldly going in a new direction, all the way to a new galaxy with new aliens, new threats, and new mysteries to uncover in Mass Effect: Andromeda. While the story starts during Mass Effect 2, it picks up 600 years later as the frozen-in-cryosleep crew of a human ark ship has made its way to the Andromeda Galaxy, seeking out a new home for humanity. I was lucky enough to get an early chance to play Mass Effect: Andromeda at EA's Redwood City headquarters, and I was surprised at how much changed, even while so much stayed familiar.

For starters, we watched some folks from BioWare guide us through the world of Andromeda and what we could expect to see, telling us about the new worlds, characters, and dangers we'd be facing. Character creation options are much more in-depth this time around, with more cosmetic options thanks to the Ryders' non-military background, and better, more varied skintone and hair options. Shepard had to keep his/her hair in line with regs--Scott and Sara can go with a matching blue undercuts for the full '80s sci-fi anime experience. Instead of codes, you're able to save your uniquely-created characters and upload them directly. Of course, you can choose to play as a male or female character, and you can customize your twin to the level you customize your playable character.

Classes from the previous games return, albeit slightly retooled to match the "explorer" feel of Andromeda. Soldiers are now "Security," Sentinels are now "Leaders," and there are new classes like the "Scrapper," a frontline fighter who gets bonuses to melee weapons (seeing the words "krogan hammer" in my inventory have never made me happier). Andromeda is also moving away from the Paragon/Renegade system with the new "Tone Wheel," going in an almost Dragon Age-like direction with character-building through dialogue. Ryder can give Emotional, Logical, Casual, or Professional responses (QTE interrupts also return, building the "Impulsive" trait), and your responses determine your reputation over time.

After watching Ryder get awoken from cryosleep, the ark ship gets caught on a massive obstruction in space--and the "garden world" we're supposed to land on doesn't look particularly welcoming. We watch Ryder help fix a busted conduit with the new Omni-Tool scanner, a tool you'll end up using a lot in your time playing the game--it's essential to your progress. The menu's the same--your Journal, your Codex, a massive skill tree for characters to develop in--and once the crew headed down to the planet, we were finally given the chance to try Andromeda for ourselves.

It's strange to say, but Andromeda feels a lot like the original Mass Effect, and that's not a bad thing. There's a greater focus on exploration, on scanning as many things as you can, building up resources that you'll later use for crafting and upgrading equipment. The built-in thrusters on your suit now allow for jumping and dashing, giving you more options for traversal and letting you explore greater heights, or safely descend to see what's down low. When the planet's not-too-friendly residents attack, everything's familiar, with one major change: you no longer hit a button to get into cover. Much like ME1, you just run up to cover, and it works quite a bit better for the feel of this game. Dashes and jumping let you quickly take control of each individual battle, claiming high ground or zig-zagging to get close.

Once I finished the first mission, I was skipped ahead a ways into the story, this time checking out a busy port city and investigating the location of an enemy ship. I'm supposed to negotiate with an infamous resistance leader to get a chance to talk to a prisoner in her custody--playing nice with her, she gives me access to him, and I immediately switch gears and play hardball with the prisoner. He gives up the info, revealing the location of a datapad full of information that he hid. We make our way out to the Badlands just outside of hte port city, and I'm given a chance to explore on my own.

The new ground vehicle "Nomad" is a nice callback to the original Mako--not only is it faster, but it can drift, and can change from 4WD to 6WD to navigate insane terrain. Off the beaten path, I immediately run into a massive alien monolith with a central console, similar to Prothean architecture of the original trilogy. Scanning it reveals paths I have to follow, giving me pieces to a puzzle, and once I get those pieces, I have to solve a pretty simple randoku board (get the wrong answer like I did, and it triggers an enemy attack). These monoliths dot the landscape of this planet, and activating all of them will have unique repercussions on the planet's ecosystem--and there are more on other planets. I head back onto the main path, getting attacked by bandits and pirates every few minutes, and I even stop to fight some local wildlife (and scanning all their corpses). Eventually, I locate the datapad and gain access to the enemy ship.

Once on-board, I try to sneak around before I set off a (scripted) alarm, being forced into a running, multi-level gunfight and forcing my way through several ambushes. The last of these was no joke--apparently I took on at least one of each of this race's enemy types in this fight, saving the best (worst?) for last: a biotic-of-sorts protected by a powerful forcefield, with an orbiting drone that could channel the field into huge AOE attacks. Playing a biotic for this demo, I took advantage of the now-easily-identified combo attacks, divided into setup and finisher moves, which you can pull off yourself or set up through your teammates. The amount of verticality is nice--instead of literally having to run complete circles around a room to get into position or kite enemies, you're encouraged to simply hop down a level and leave a trap for them, or take the high ground and shower them with bullets. The action is satisfyingly fast, frantic, and can't be survived on brute force alone (although I certainly tried).

I ended up staying a little longer than I was allowed (EA was very nice to me, and people were watching me John Wick my way through that last fight), but once that was over I had to pack it up and say goodbye to Andromeda until the game's actually out on March 21. I really enjoyed my time with the game, and I can't wait to get my hands on the full release--I and a few friends of mine have asked for time off. We know what's up.

Are you looking forward to Mass Effect: Andromeda? From what we've learned so far, what seems most interesting to you? And what were your favorite moments from the original trilogy? Sound off in the comments and let us know!

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Nate Ming is the Features and Reviews Editor for Crunchyroll News, creator of the long-running Fanart Friday column, and the Customer Support Lead for Crunchyroll. You can follow him on Twitter at @NateMing.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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its-just-like-the-movies · 7 years

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Horror For Horror’s Sake

Looking at the (albeit few) films I’ve chosen to review, the ones I’ve been willing to dive into blind, the expectedly shitty ones I’ve willing put up with, it’s fair to say I have a bias to exploring horror films more than other genres. At the very least I’m more interested in exploring scary movies when looking for something to watch than other genres. And in some ways, they’re more rewarding on a base level than say, romantic dramas that are equally good or bad. I’m sure Death Note is worse than Tulip Fever, but lord knows I’m not gonna go watching the latter for “fun” the way I got wine drunk with friends and tore at that racist, unscary piece of shit. On the other side of that spectrum, I went and saw It with that same dynamic duo as Death Note roughly a week later and had a ball, premised around actually having a wonderful time with a great film that all of us liked on its own merits and as an adaptation. It was all we talked about during dinner, and if I didn’t have to run home before meeting them at Tommy’s place we probably would’ve talked about it even longer. The film is a monumental step up from the original TV adaptation (obvs), but I sincerely hope that we’re at a place where the culture can stop being as reverential as it is with Tim Curry’s performance - one I liked but couldn’t quite be impressed by - in favor of the truly horrifying wraith that Bill Skarsgard has created. Andy Muschietti deserves plenty of credit for Pennywise too, but also for negotiating such a dense source novel, a mostly child cast, a more elastic range of tones than necessary, a time period wholly original to this adaptation, plus all the hokum reputation surrounding the author, and doing justice to all of it. Never in my life would I have expected the director of Mama to have succeeded in marshalling all of that into such a purely enjoyable, scary, funny, and utterly full film as It. Yes, it’s not perfect in parcelling out equal screen time to every member of The Loser’s Club or establishing what their lives are like when they aren’t hanging out together, but if that’s the worst this film has going for it, I’m absolutely delighted to recommend it to everyone and go along with friends who’re too scared to see it alone. Maybe with a red balloon in hand, and a severed arm to hold it for me.

I originally intended this to be a sort of two-shot with mother! but, given how absolutely insane that film is and the likelihood I’m going to ferry David along someday soon, I’m going to put off a formal review of it until another showing. I think I have my reaction to it sorted out, though another trek through it would do me good. The last scenes recontextualize the whole film so fully, even one as bluntly allegorical as that one, I think it’d be worth checking out again before I dive into it. With that being said, and to give me something fun to write about, I’m gonna just jot down some favorite memories of horror films I’m really in love with. You can consider this a recommendation list, I’d be more than happy to elaborate on full-throttle reviews and explanations of any of these films. Hopefully there’ll be another list of five tomorrow. Either way, sit back and enjoy the ride, dear reader.

To start off with the recentest features, I think one of It’s greatest successes it that each of its characters has pretty individualized embodiments of fear that Pennywise deploys, each scene delivering its own unique terror. That being said, there’s no way the film’s most utterly terrifying scene isn’t its first, where Pennywise lures poor Georgie into reaching out his hand for a little paper boat. For all I said at the top about Bill Skarsgård’s interpretation of It - and I’ll be shocked if I don’t write up this performance on my year-end list - credit must also be given to Jackson Robert Scott’s sweet, almost saccharine take on Georgie Denbrough. Watching Pennywise somehow circle this poor child even from within a sewer grate, convincingly entrancing by the standard of a six year old even if he can’t help but notice how unhinged this clown is, it’s maybe the only film I’ve been around for the release of that palpably conjured the same kinds of lumps in my gut I got watching Ileana Douglas and Juliette Lewis wrangle with Robert De Niro in Cape Fear (minus all the sexual overtures of Cape Fear, thank god). It’s the only time Pennywise is patient enough to even try and lure in his prey like this, more eager to eat the boy than he is to prey off his fear. The tension here is so efficiently realized I had to wonder what a version of It that drew out a few more of these encounters into their own short films would look like. A little longer, sure, but when the result is more scenes that make your skin crawl and your stomach churn, we’d all be winners.

mother! was an insanely vexing experience, purposely so, but in many ways a virtuoso one. A lot of it comes down to how marvelously it’s crafted, plus Michelle Pfeiffer’s deliciously crafted turn as a home invader, and I’d love more time to sit and think about Aronofsky’s script. Pfeiffer is the only ingredient missing in the film’s most stunningly crafted scene, where the house of Jennifer Lawrence’s nameless character is beset by an seemingly infinite swarm of her husband’s idolaters. Her painstakingly assembled home, one she made all by herself with her own two hands, is torn apart by the mob of fans proclaiming the poet’s will of sharing all that he has. One hangs up the phone as she calls the police only for another to yank it out of the wall, each hurling the philosophy of sharing at the other to justify their actions as though the other is stupid for not expecting them to do this. The police arrive a few minutes after, and suddenly her house seems to be divided into factions of SWAT members, violent cabals of her husband’s words, and those directly loyal to him. It’s almost impossible to imagine how long this sequence takes, especially since mother! often presents its sequences as though they’re happening in real time, but it’s stupendously mounted and realized by everyone involved. The transformation of Lawrence’s home from an idyllic, rustic nest for her and her hubby into a war-torn wreckage plucked straight from Children of Men isn’t the film’s scariest scene - that would be everything immediately after something delicate is inevitably, disastrously shown off - but on a sheer technical level it’s the film’s most impressively realized scene, and one of many I can’t shake for the life of me.

If you’ve never seen [safe], I beg you to go see it right now. Surely everyone who loved Carol has gone back and examined some of Todd Haynes’s filmography, if not looked up his Wikipedia page and seen this film, whose heroine has the same first name as his 2015 masterpiece. [safe] is about as asphyxiating and antagonistic to the audience (while still being immensely hypnotic) as any film can get, and one I had difficulty rewatching last semester in the hopes of finding a screencap to use for an art project. I ended up not using what I got, but there’s so many indelible moments picking one feels difficult, let alone throwing my hands up and just reveling in what Haynes’ direction does to make the film so menacing. And yet, there’s that one object that I instantly thought of for this little piece, in some ways the one that convinced me to do it at all. Early in [safe], Carol White (a genius Julianne Moore) orders a couch to her house and starts to help the movers arrange it in her house, only to find that it’s seemingly the most antagonistic shade of black on the planet. Carol is horrified to see this thing in her carefully constructed beige palace, as was I when I first saw it. Never has an ordinary couch been so pointy and prickly and out-of-place and threatening in a film, and never have I wanted to leave a room so much once I saw it. Pressing against everything pale and beige and carefully styled in her home, this couch doesn’t just look out of place but as alien and invasive as any of the houseguests in mother!, and even more unwanted. [safe] isn’t necessarily a horror film, but it’s still the most unsettling feature on this list, one that’s even more horrifying for all that it has to say on the human experience, and for the tremendous filmmaking (and actressing) that makes it such a seminal, terrifying film.

Suspiria, on the other hand, is nothing if not an exercise in how many scary, go-for-broke aesthetics you can grate against each other and mold together and throw at the audience at once. The production design can be summed up as though the art directors of Wes Anderson and Pedro Almodovar had a child that was trying to kill you, specifically, but of course the real star of this entry is the vicious score of Dario Argento and the band Goblin. Much like Get Out, you have the distinct feeling that somehow the score itself is going to slaughter our hero before the actual forces of evil hunting them do. Even in scenes that don’t seem overtly menacing, the orchestra shrieks at you to remember that Jessica Harper and her friend are always being watched, always in danger, always among those who have killed before and would kill them if they got the chance. And somehow, this only makes the scenes with an actively dangerous presence more affecting rather than less so. In the words of Decider’s Joe Reid “Everything is heightened, so everything is fuckin’ heightened”. Suspiria is so heightened it’s a wonder the central school doesn’t just fly off into the upper echelons of the Earth’s atmosphere, which is probably close to where the film is heightened to, but thank god it’s stuck to the ground. Not all stories work in space, and sometimes all you need is a man, his dog, a weird gargoyle, and a bunch of nice looking buildings to make a scene as tense as all hell. And, of course, a bullying, visceral score.

There’s a multitude of great performances from David Cronenberg films. In truth, the best two probably reside in the duet between Jeremy Irons and Genevieve Bujold in Dead Ringers, if not the duet between Irons and Irons in the same film. But we’re really here for The Brood, which boasts the most volcanic performance I’ve seen among Cronenberg’s filmography in the form of Samantha Eggar’s ferocious, unstable shrew of an ex-wife and absent mother. The entire film is premised on her rage, literally summoning embodiments of her anger to carry out acts of vengeance against those she decries in therapy sessions. These sessions have the head physician role-playing as the target of his patient’s psychosis in the hope of provoking a real break in their psyches, and take place in a facility miles out of town and built like log cabins, resembling a hotel from a distance. Her character’s ex-husband is right to suspect something’s amiss here, that Nola isn’t getting the treatment she needs, but even as he finds the corpses of the gremlins whacking their family members it takes until he witnesses the creation of one of these rage babies for him to fully grasp a situation that’s actively threatening everyone he loves. Eggar’s vitality and commitment gives the film a beating, potent heart that The Brood otherwise wouldn’t have, in spite of its crazy conceits and directorial strength. Without her exorcising fury, The Brood would be a weaker film, and it needs Eggar’s to power the whole thing through its demented thesis and towards its inevitable, monstrous climax.

#the brood #it #mother!#suspiria #safe #2017 #1979 #1977 #1995 #my posts #misc

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