#And any social situations I’m required to participate in I’ll get paid for!

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I wonder if I can save money on food when moving out by just getting a 30 day supply of “just add water” MREs and cutting the portions in half? The only other food items I’d get would be flour and rice (in bulk), and maybe eggs, so I could pay only around 200 dollars in food for a supply of two months or potentially longer. It would work wonders for my executive dysfunction, not having to cook much. Plus, I could save money on gas by not having to drive to the store very often. I could also grow food indoors.

[capricornus-rex]

Playing Pretend (4)

Requested by: @calkesttiss​ | Prompt:

Hi! I just watched isi & ossi (rich girl and poor boxer boy AH) on netflix and now i cant stop thinking about cal and fake dating. Do with that what you will 😂

Cal Kestis x Reader

1 | 2 | 3 | Next: Part 5 | Masterlist

4 of ?

Cal found a way down the building and walked his way back to the Mobara Palace, one of the few cantinas in the Capital that have docking bays. The Mobara Palace was one of the biggest in the city too; occupying a whole block to cover the bar itself as well as the elaborate network of paths that connect the bays to one another, with the cantina at the starting point of it all.

The Mantis’s entrance ramp hissed and lowered, opening the door before him. An aromatic waft was the first to welcome him upon his entry.

“Looks like Greez is cooking something good,” he comments to BD-1.

As he entered the ship, Greez’s dual pairs of arms were all over the pantry and yet each arm was carefully distributed to a certain task in cooking.

“Smells good, Greez!” Cal beamed.

“Oh good, you’re just in time for dinner—with all that wandering around you’re doing, you’re probably hungry,”

He joined the others at the table as soon as Greez lifted the pot from the stove and served everyone their own plates. The meal was solemn and yet there was a warm aura emanating around them. Cal decided to up the mood by striking a conversation.

“How long do you guys still think we’re gonna stay here until this blows over?”

A silence at the dinner table. Cere’s eyes shifted, she searched Greez’s face and studied his reaction toward Cal’s question. There was only one possible and realistic answer, but the boy doesn’t seem to concur with it.

“Cal,” she clears her throat. “You do understand why…”

Before she could even reiterate her question, Cal already knew this mere dinner table conversation was going to be another lecture.

“I know. We’re hiding from the loan shark that Greez borrowed the money from to get this ship,”

It was an embarrassing truth, but a truth nonetheless. Greez felt like the situation required him to say a piece.

“Look, kid, we can scrape by with what we have. I mean, I still got coin on me—but not that enough to cover the loan plus with its interest!”

“Odd jobs, honest jobs, aren’t gonna cut it in a short time, Greez. At least you would know that, of all people,” Cal argued.

Cal had been wandering around the city looking for a quick way to earn some coin in the quickest way possible. The downtown and underground areas of the planet had some questionable methods of earning money—but they were easy money. Although Cal had grown up with street smarts, part of that knowledge is when and where a solution is either a real solution or another problem later on.

“You know the Sabacc, don’t ya?” Greez whispered with the left corner of his mouth directed to Cal.

“Greez, we are not going with gambling!” Cere sternly exclaimed. The impact of her fork dropping against the plate was just as scary as a fist landing on the table like a gavel.

There was another silence amongst them again. Cere continued on with her own piece.

“We cannot endanger anyone in our crew with something that won’t be worth our while. I don’t mind pretending to be some stranger in a different name just so we can have someplace to stay safe together. But I will not allow anybody in this ship to get into something that would jeopardize themselves or the crew altogether, understand?”

Cere’s outburst hardened the silence. Everybody understands that she hasn’t outgrown her military discipline from her days of participating in the Clone Wars—and she’s utilizing them in predicaments such as these amongst the Mantis crew members.

These episodes of hers were occasional, therefore it made her unpredictable, intimidating, but somehow her aggressive delivery doesn’t outweigh her rationale or true motive. Everybody—Cal, Greez, Merrin, and ultimately BD-1—knew that she means well and that she always will.

Cere processed what just had happened with her. She attempted to recompose herself in the midst of the awkwardness. She cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to yell.”

“It’s fine, Cere,” Greez consoles.

The dinner proceeds. Cal wondered if the girl he met yesterday and bumped into just now would be a better subject to talk about.

“I met someone last night. Bumped into her again,”

All heads turn to Cal.

“She frequents a pub not too far from here. I always see her near or inside that place. Maybe if I bump into her again, I’ll ask her where I can find a place to get some cash—and a clean one at that,”

“Are you sure she is to be trusted?” Cere maintained her stern tone even after recomposing herself.

Cal was so sure of his judgment about you. He recalled the moments where you two were together. He felt your kindness and compassion—he knew of your good intentions, you meant no harm—but he also sensed some sort of sadness in you.

“You probably have heard of Senator Bail Organa?” Cere takes the conversation reins.

Cal shrugs, “Yeah sure, I know him. I saw him sometimes in the Senate Building in Coruscant.”

“Well, he knows of our presence here—don’t worry, he doesn’t know about the loan shark at our tail—and he’s invited us to a social function,”

“Social function?” Cal raised his eyebrow at Cere’s unusual choice of word.

“Apparently, this party was being held by a colleague of his. Perhaps they needed to fill the guestlist,”

“Proxies,”

“Exactly.”

“How bad can a few no-show guests be? It’s not like it’s gonna dent their bank account when the catering bill comes!” Greez dryly joked and it was the received likewise.

In light of this new announcement, Cal began to wonder how long does he have to stay in the party before he could sneak back out in the streets and find the unusual girl who had to drag him up a rooftop from the Tipsy Taun-Taun just to ask for some self-defense moves.

The following days passed until the day of the banquet has come. That morning, your mother personally made sure that you don’t sleep in and get yourself ready as quickly as possible. She also announced that the stylists are coming in half an hour.

“Mom, I’m perfectly capable of doing my own makeup!” You detest despite still being groggy from being woken up without your consent.

You force yourself out of bed so that you could take a shower. Unfortunately, you didn’t have the luxury of staying too long in the bath—however, you sorely wished you did. You slid deeper into the cold, ivory and gold-trimmed bathtub until only your eyes are on the surface.

A pounding on the door disturbed your watery peace.

“[y/n], hurry up!” your mother growled from the other side.

“Almost done!” you cried back.

You were actually done minutes ago, you only chose to soak yourself for a bit longer with the wishful thinking that they’ll never realize that you’ve locked yourself in your own bathroom. You’d love that though.

“No one could ever go wrong with black,” you muttered as you pulled out an off-shouldered black cocktail dress with stars and planets embroidered with golden thread.

You made quick work of yourself. You did your hair and makeup: applying minimal makeup as possible, you wore your hair down and clipped a silver headband on both ends with four tiers of golden cords hanging over on top of the other. Staring back at yourself in the mirror, a brush in your hand slides down to the length of your hair; with every stroke, you ponder if all this your parents are doing is ever worth it either for themselves or for the family.

You sigh for an answer, or lack thereof. Afterwards, you donned the dress and the shoes—both pieces were in black. The finishing touch—a personal one at that—was a pair of leather fingerless gloves.

“Here goes nothing,” a mantra you tell yourself before exiting your room in attendance to any social gathering you were obliged to attend.

The party started without you. No surprise in that, you thought. Nevertheless, you made your way to ballroom where the chatter of the guests became more and more audible yet incoherent as their voices meddled.

Immediately, you searched for Tazha in the room. She wasn’t easy to miss. Her glittering dress outshines everyone else’s, literally making her a beacon for you to easily see her. You walk up to her.

“Oh you look great!” she compliments.

“Thanks, you too,”

Suddenly, one of the Ithrel sons, Logan who was the third son and was the same age as you, appears ot be walking toward you with what you thought is the stupidest grin you’ve ever seen on a face. He comes in strong by grabbing you by the waist, reel you in for a kiss except you successfully dodged it with your gloved hand.

“Logan? What the hell are you doing?!”

“Well, your mom paid me to flirt with you until you end up falling in love with me, I’ll have a chance in the Junior Legislator’s Program! Plus, we get to support your family until your dad becomes Senator or whatever, I mean, we don’t have a choice on that, we just gotta roll with it,” he beamed with an imbecile’s optimism. “Big bonus if we ever get married though. I mean, she wanted that to happen. So, marry me?”

“Hold up. She did what now?”

Logan repeated your own mother’s plan, he reiterated that this part wasn’t even in the original agreement. Your mother had to negotiate her way through the Ithrels in promising a much stronger bond of support to your family—therefore, you became a sacrificial lamb.

You and Tazha exchanged glances. Both of you communicated clearly through the furrows of your brows and the hard rolling of your eyes. A gradual burst of rage was flowing in your bloodstreams.

“Oh my God, this is just sad and pathetic of you, Logan,” Tazha condescendingly comments.

“I’m gonna give her a piece of my mind tonight,” you growled, your knuckles were white from gripping the bannister too hard.

You searched for your mother in the ballroom. When you spotted her and your father speaking with some guests, you marched through the sea of people until you reached her.

“Mother, may I speak with you?”

Yasina excused herself from her guest and she was in for a surprise with what is about to go down.

“You paid one of the Ithrel sons to date me?! Because you thought that would strengthen your connection with them just so Dad can secure his win in the election? You did this without me knowing? Whatever the hell happened to consent, Mom!?”

“[y/n] Elvas Torvel, I do not allow you to speak to me with a tone like that in an important event like this!” Yasina hissed, struggling to maintain her composure—both mentally and physically—after just being bombarded with questions by her daughter.

“Did you even ever stop to think how I’d feel if you paired me with a complete imbecile?!”

“[y/n], honey, please listen,” your father intervenes but the argument was heating up between you and your mother.

“The Ithrels are a good family. They uphold a clear reputation. We Torvels and Ithrels would be a great collaborative enterprise,”

“You don’t see the problem here, Mom? I don’t want to get married!”

Yasina was silent. Her face was completely aghast: her eyes wide open, her lip was trembling as if wanting to say something but couldn’t because of so much nerves thrashing underneath her skin.

“You will not ruin this event for your own selfish, adolescent needs, young lady. We are not finished with this discussion.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan on ending it soon.”

You walked out from your parents. Turning your back on them to wipe away the tears that was welling up in your eyes.

[a-robin-among-thorns]

In The Shadows Of The Rising Sun Chp 11

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 

Once again thank you for your patience and for reading this story :)

Chapter 11: A Girl’s Best Friend

Word Count: 2,028

Their first week in the strange situation they found themselves in came and went. New routines became established, waking early to assure mutual chances at breakfast, scouring the library for any books related to the magical customs of japan. Evening snacks, and homework in the forest, followed by lessons in magic and language respectively. 

As Chise had suspected, Reina was unconcerned if she returned late and even seemed somewhat pleased she didn’t have to share dinner company. Even her teachers had reluctantly admitted that her assignments were improving. And to top it off Reina would once again be gone this weekend while she visited a friend from college. 

Not to say they were no hiccups. One such hiccup greeted her that Sunday morning in the form of Elias’ nose hovered worriedly over her stomach. 

Sleep covered her like a film of moss that stretched and cracked as she forced her eyes open. She had no reason to feel this lethargic, she thought, their day yesterday had been spent leisurely reading through tomes of Japanese folklore.   

Concerned wuffles whined through Elias’ nose as he looked her over again. “Elias,” She groaned, “what's wrong?” 

“Chise, are you injured?” 

She blinked. “What?”

“I smell blood.” Troubled pants racked his frame never ceasing his frantic inspection. “I don’t understand, I was here all night… I should have known... what could have…” he muttered in increasing frustration. 

“Blood? I’m not…” realization crashed into her like a tidal wave. She sat up quickly forcing her knees together in frantic damage control. The sporadic movement served only to further worry Elias, as he froze eyes flitting from her face to his claws and back again. Her hands came up in placating motions. “It’s ok! Just... please help me to the bathroom.”

Smoky shadow dissipated and reformed just as quickly as his arms gripped her back and under her knees. As he lifted her in smooth bridal carry Chise quickly inspected where she had laid on the futon thankful for the uninterrupted color that signaled her fear was unwarranted. His strong legs crossed the apartment in hurried steps till the pads of his feet hit linoleum. She wriggled slightly and Elias relented to let her stand.

“Thank you, now just wait out here for a moment.” He made to protest briefly before nodding as she closed the door. 

A brief search in the under-sink cupboard yielded exactly one product. Delightful. 

To say Chise’s cycle was irregular was a gross understatement. There were occasions where entire seasons would pass between the end of one and the beginning of another. As such, she rarely requested sanitary products and that morning happened upon the bad luck of Reina’s supply being all but empty. Her head fell back and her eyes winced shut in a grimace. Not only would she have to devise a way to calm Elias, who had almost certainly melted into a puddle of anxiety by now, but also they would have to run to town and buy more pads. 

So much for our nice day, she thought dejectedly. She supposed in a strange way she should have been grateful for this undeniable sign that her health had improved ever so slightly thanks to the steady influx of food she had enjoyed since Elias’ arrival. Gratitude was difficult to muster however, as her organs decided they had stood idle long enough in the form ripping spasms across her abdomen. She grunted as she strained off the floor. There was work to do. 

The door opened to the scene of Elias nervously fidgeting before fixing his eyes on her. 

She breathed deeply before exhaling an explanation. “Its Ok Elias, I’m not hurt. It’s perfectly normal for girls to bleed every so often.” She prayed silently that she would not have to explain menstrual cycles to him in detail.

His fingers flexed anxiously, making unclear whether this explanation had calmed him or worried him further. “You are...not in pain then?”

“Well I wouldn’t say that.” she blurted as immediately as she regretted. Elias’ entire posture stood on end ready to jump the second she showed discomfort. “I mean, it's uncomfortable but not unbearable. We’ll just need to run to town to grab a few things.” 

Through a truly herculean effort, Chise somehow managed to get dressed while keeping Elias stable as they headed out to town. A grueling trek later found Chise staring at a convenience store racks. She scratched her head in genuine confusion as to which size and amount she needed.  

She finally chose and mentally ran over any possible necessities. Her figurative and literal coin purse was slightly heavier as of late thanks to Elias’ habit of swiping free change off the ground. Thankfully he did refrain from the paper money as asked. As she was mentally debating the cost of painkillers, her attention was drawn to a pair of girls arguing across at the candy aisle. 

“Oni-Chan?" the younger girl whined, "Can we get chocolate for Haru?”

“No,” Her sister scoffed, “mom only gave me enough for dad and nii-san.” 

The little sister's tiny fists shot down spiking her shoulders in a heated attempt to appear larger. “But you have money!”

“Yeah, but I’m not paying for chocolates for your little crush.” The older sister continued unaffected. “You should have thought of it before the day of.”

“Pleaaase? I’ll do your chores for the week?” The younger one pleaded quickly changing tactics.

“...Make it two weeks and you have a deal.” 

Chise absorbed the meaning of her accidental eavesdropping as the sisters loudly made their way to the checkout. Why had they made such a fuss over candy? And more importantly, why did she feel it was so important to her right now? 

Shouldn’t have waited till the day of...the day of what? She mulled to herself. It couldn’t have been three separate birthdays...oh. Well, that made two glaringly obvious surprises before lunch. 

Chise was passingly familiar with holidays that forced family participation to at least acknowledge her as an occupant of the household. But a purely social holiday, Valentine's Day, was as foreign a concept to her as what it felt like to stand under the Eiffel tower. She had heard about, seen it on tv, even observed chocolate-coated rendezvous at school. But actual active participation? Well, that required several things, money, time, a recipient. All things she didn’t have. 

Didn’t have until…

Her eyes flitted down to her feet. To the passing observer, the odd branching patterns of her pale shadow cast in the artificial storefront light would be attributed to the irregular shapes of the snack aisle. That same snack aisle she quickly found herself striding towards where the sisters had stood arguing not a minute earlier. 

The electronic doorbell of the convenience store blared in her ears as Chise left feeling like a thief seconds away from apprehension. Despite having paid for the entire expense without dipping into the last of their food money. Her shopping bag’s weight felt as though it belonged to someone else but she strode forward. 

She was all but running by the time they reached the apartment and took the stairs two at a time. The door opened, shut and locked all in one motion. In the same second that her back thudded in emotional exhaustion against the door a wave of shadow surrounded her. His face formed first clearly desperate to see and speak to her before all else. His arms and legs took a full second longer to form as he scanned her for discomfort.

Summoning all her courage she plunged her hand into the grocery bag, fishing furiously. “Chise, what are-”

“Here!” she exclaimed louder than intended. But she knew that without considerable force neither the words nor the present would reach their destination.  

He was taken aback for several silent seconds, staring slack-jawed at the small package thrust forward in her palms. He shook his head and delicately plucked the present from her hands. “What is…”

“It’s a chocolate bar, for Valentine's day...for you.” She blushed fiercely.

“You were supposed to acquire provisions for yourself.” He accused in a surprisingly serious tone. 

“I know! And I did. I just...i-in Japan girls give chocolates to b-boys.” An odd thought questioned whether he considered himself to be gendered in any way. But that was for another time. “It’s how we celebrate Valentine's day. It's nothing special, but I... wanted to…” Her explanation had devolved into rambling and she forced herself to breathe. 

“I’m sorry…” I knew I shouldn't have done this she chastised. The warmth of his hand on her shoulder distracted her from his nose leaning forward. "Don't apologize," He breathed directly into her ear. He nuzzled her temple before pulling away, an odd heaviness settling in his expression. 

“I...wasn't expecting this,” he finally uttered. “Thank you for the gift.” He gasped. “Is there something I need to do for Valentine's Day?” 

Relief flooded Chise in a rush leaving her feeling giddy at the strange and adorable situation. “No, not until White Day. It's custom to give flowers to the person who gave you chocolates. You don’t have to though.”

“No, I want to!" He exclaimed, his jaw opening frantically, "When is White Day?” 

“It's not for a month or so.”

“Oh, please let me know when it comes.”

His eager desire to please caused a happy little smile to rest on Chise’s lips. A smile that was quickly broken apart as her ears rang and her stomach dropped. Her blood sugar and body fell in tandem, the later cushioned in Elias’ lightspeed grip. A miasma of terror permeated his being as he struggled to find words. 

“Sorry, I should have eaten before we left.” Chise offered feebly as she fought the pounding against her temporal lobe. Against his chest, she could feel him swallow forcibly as he brought her back to the futon. Any protest she had was stifled by gentle comfort as he laid her tenderly and covered her with their blanket. There wasn’t any harm in resting her eyes was there?

In the background, she heard clanking about the kitchenette but her sudden onslaught of fatigue made discerning meaning from the noise an impossibility. It wasn’t until Elias set the coffee table upright that Chise’s full attention was brought back to the present. The sound of cheap ceramic hitting wood followed by a light sloshing caused her to sit upright cautiously. 

“I...was unsure I could work the microwave.” Elias sheepishly offered as Chise took in the sight before her. The plastic cup she preferred to use had been filled halfway and beside it was a haphazardly filled bowl of cereal. She smiled. “Thank you...were is yours?”

“I don’t need any until you eat.” 

“Elias-“

“I am not the one collapsing. I can last a few minutes.” He argued pointedly.

Chise sighed at her foolishness and diligently began forcing down spoonfuls. Midway during her meal Elias rose and retrieved cereal for himself. Chise watched him intently between gulps. She chuckled to herself when he accidentally spilled milk on the counter. As he was looking for a rag to clean with, Chise spotted his candy had been placed on the counter. 

“Would you like to eat your chocolate?” She called gaining his attention. He nodded bringing the package along with him as he sat across from her. “How...do you eat it?” He asked.

She extended her hand to which he placed the candy, watching intently as she tore the plastic and returned it to his hands. “You just take a bite.” He delicately closed his jaws on the corner of the chocolate and bit down. The bar crumbled slightly leading Elias to worriedly struggle to catch the crumbs. Chise stifled a giggle. His jaw moved in an odd semblance to chewing with his teeth barely opening before he swallowed. 

“Well?” Chise questioned.

“It is,” his tongue flicked out swiping a spot of chocolate flecked on his incisors, “very sweet.” He broke off a piece offering it to her. She accepted, popping it into her mouth.

Chise smiled, “Yeah...it is.” The pain in her abdomen was present but considerably dulled. Very sweet indeed.  

[violetsystems]

#personal

I ended the week in a very different financial state than what I’ve been used to.  To talk about stocks anymore on this blog would further pivot my move from musician to late night financial pundit.  I’m more of an amateur economist myself.  I’ve used the auction house in World of Warcraft enough to be dangerous.   But really there’s much more to the story than investing or job hunting.  More so my ambivalence to feeling completely invisible in the process.  Of course there are tons of jobs out there.  I found a Department of Defense job in Information Security.  The fine print being that males had to be registered for selective service.  I often like to remind myself and the government that I’m a registered Conscientious Objector.  My parents were tired of military recruiters hounding me in high school as was I.  I wrote a statement and filed it with a local church at the time in the presence of pastor.  I’m not extremely a fan of organized religion at all.  But this specific instance was about peace above all else.  One of my only contacts on LinkedIn was someone I managed years ago as a student worker.  They just so happen to work for such a job.  It is ironic as it is disheartening.  And as I scan and participate on LinkedIn as more of a social media platform than a headhunting site it becomes painfully apparent.  There are a lot of jobs out there but not a lot that respect my value as a human being outside of human capital.  The most important thing about the platform has been knowing what I’m worth.  The salary estimates are on point for the times.  I was undervalued at my old place of employment.  As of last week, the years of debt accrued trying to network overseas was finally paid off.  I tried everything to get away from this situation.  I played shows in Tokyo.  I travelled alone to Korea and China.  I connected with my extended family in Hong Kong.   And nothing else in terms of opportunities materialized.  Years later as I send the final payments to zero out the balances, it seems like it never happened.  You would think a person like myself would have a place to go from here.  And largely I do right now.  Sitting at my new laptop writing these as always.  Wrapping my brain around the tax law unique to my particular situation.  Listening to the news and realizing nobody really cares about me or my predicament.  Awaiting the final puzzle piece to my old life come September.  Wondering what really happened to all the shit in my old office.  Wondering if I really care at all about any of it anymore as the voice over my headphones announces the horrible truth.  That we’re about to get pummeled violently by a well known streamer and the developer of the game we are playing.  For a company that was at my doorstep a day ago inquiring about an uptick in package theft.  If I really needed a job right now I’d just ask if they were hiring.

The grand spoiler alert of my life at the moment is that I do not need a job right now.  My life is a work in progress.  One that I haven’t really lived or been allowed to live without constant critique.  Truth be told I have never had the opportunity to be back at zero.  There are things that are stable in my life that don’t really have a numerical value on the time investment.  I’m not on any social media here to look for a job.  But stranger things have happened.  I am out there and searchable.  Just not on anything like Facebook.  My bandcamp lately has been generating sales out of nowhere.  Nothing substantial.  But if people really wanted to find me they could.  The internet is a special place if you stay accountable.  The real world is far from that.  And I’ve spent a considerable amount of time lately in the real world navigating the change in my life.  There is a lot of cognitive dissonance when I think about my own value.  The way everything blinked out and disappeared is still puzzling.  I had no warning.  Or I was so antisocial that people were afraid to drop hints.  People drop hints all the time that I’m expected to read into.  Those are far easier to read now that it’s just me.  Part of being employable is that you are a valuable addition to an organization.  When you spend twenty years of your life growing to be just that it is a little jarring to realize you weren’t.  These days I’m very fearful of just being looked at as another productive body to slide into place.  Much of what I understand of salaried employment now is horrifying especially when it comes to working for a non profit.  You do get stability.  And some of the grandfathered benefits I reaped upon exit are unheard of in modern times.  A pension being one of them.  How someone like me deals with these unique circumstances is unprecedented.  Nobody has any advice for me.  Nobody even acknowledges I have a situation.  I always feel like people are just assuming I’d be ok without even knowing what I’ve done.  That’s a lot of mental baggage to sort through even beyond the finances.  The good news is I don’t really get depressed about it.  I feel free.  Free enough to start planning things out comfortably.  Free enough to wait for the job opportunity that values me instead of freaking out and taking the first thing.  Free enough to evaluate how much money I need to make versus how much money the job hunting site tells me I should be making.  Free enough to just sit here and opt out.  Pay my health insurance premiums and keep the future open for awhile.  Play games and enjoy them.  Ride my bike and lower my blood pressure.  Spend less money without thinking.  Plan where and when money is available in the future.  Be an adult and enjoy it for once without having to defend myself.  At the same time being just as vigilant and unstoppable as I always am effortlessly.  Because I no longer really worry about what my job, the community, society, or the internet thinks.  And I see the value of myself and my money beyond the American dream of freedom it seems that I’ve been exiled from.

It is a mindfuck for sure.  Like maybe the last three years over the course of time were too.  But what I still have is worth more to me than any history or resolution.  I just cut loose.  Five weeks later I’m sitting in a very different state of mind on paper.  My credit score went up.  I can lucidly explain my financial liquidity and plans for the next six months to a year if worst comes to worse.  But really the thing I can’t answer is this.  Why after all of this time am I so invisible outside of these small pockets of hope on the internet?  Why am I even bothering taking a conventional approach to my future other than my own logic?  One week I’m down.  The next week I’m up.  The next a little higher.  I start to think to myself when I look in the mirror.  I feel better about myself.  I feel sexier without having to project it.  I can imagine things outside of the box I was trapped in.  And there’s no real judgement as to why I stayed so long.  The end result was that twenty years was time to move on.  And while no one had the answers for me it all worked out.  The time spent with a financial advisor worth much more than sitting down with a therapist.  But what does it really mean for me?  When will I have my revenge!  When will I have my justice?  I mean I thought I already had it.  I never lost the things I cared about.  They just got amplified.  Nobody needs to know how deep it goes.  But everyone knows what motivates me deep inside my heart without me even having to say it.  I feel comfortable around people.  I’m open to talk and be present.  I’m not locked in a defensive posture fearing the inevitable.  I lost my job.  It will never be replaced.  The position is gone completely.  Nobody really remembers me or the position it seems at all.  And this isn’t something we should revisit five weeks later after my suffering in complete isolation outside of video games, tumblr and my secret desires.  Honestly I’m far more happy to be where I am now.  I can actually see a clear path to where I need to be.  And all I ever wanted to be was connected to people like myself.  We all desire that to varying degrees.  And after years of typing it out here I believe people understand me.  And it has become far more than that.  It’s special enough that it follows me wherever I go in my heart and out in the streets.  And it’s still a delicate balance that requires me to think for myself and maintain my identity above all.  That’s the freedom I have for myself.  The freedom I want to share with another person I love someday.  And that’s the freedom I’ve built up around me that isn’t beholden to anyone but me now.  Until I get hired by either TikTok, Microsoft, or Amazon.  Self employed taxes are the only nightmare I’m subjecting myself to for the rest of this year.  That and being on the wrong team in Closed Beta.  I’m on the right team in terms of keeping a secret.  It’s not a secret I care very much about all of you.  You particularly as always.  And I’d be more worried if I somehow jeopardized that future.  Which is still bright ass pink as far as the eye can see.  So I’ll be ok.  <3 Tim

[babes-and-baddies]

I just read @codenamesazanka’s post (+some responses) about the issues with a ‘#1 hero’ ranking, and it ties into a lot of stuff I was already planning on writing about with how exactly this mindset self-generates and offshoots into everything else so I figured I’d write it here! I don’t know if Hori himself considered this view (it would be amazing if he did!), but the explanation that would make best sense in-universe? Is that this “#1 Hero” system seems like a bad idea because it is bad- and was designed to be.

I feel like this whole issue has to do with economics and how heroes are paid, mixed in with the value of public image and discrimination towards weak/lacking/dangerous quirks, the social emphasis on individual strength and image, as well as how that image perpetuates trust beyond the heroes means and stifles civilians inclination to help eachother. It all sorta jumbles together into one huge, complicated, interconnected, and unhealthy mess, just like real life does!

Disclaimer: this is gonna get long, and it’s very pessimistic about how things are and I’m probably going to be called a villain sympathizer which, y’know, isn’t wrong, but this is just really interesting and fun to look into. 

So to get this started: money.

It’s unclear how exactly heroes are evaluated for pay -though it seems competitive if Mt. Lady’s intro is anything to go by- but most likely it’s based on fulfilling specific pre-agreed upon tasks efficiently. There’s the normal heroes, rescue heroes, etc- and i’m willing to bet that they each have their own rigid set of expectations. 

It’s not about doing what’s the most good; it’s about doing what fits their job as a specific kind of hero. And as we saw with when Stain fought Midoriya, Iida, and Todoroki, ‘what’s necessary’ doesn't always line up with ‘what’s allowed’. Doing what’s right is not only sometimes separate from hero work, but also discouraged in some cases with heavy penalty, potentially even the loss of their hero license. It’s a system that says, ‘Be strong, be flashy, play by the rules, and you’ll rank high. Rank high, and you’ll have more security and freedom.’  Following that mindset is a requirement of being a hero, even though it doesn’t help the public or even the heroes themselves. 

Likewise All Might mentions that heroes don’t participate in public service anymore (like cleaning trashed-up beaches), and I have to wonder how many don’t because they don’t have the time to. 

After all, if only Top Ranking Heroes get paid a lot for hero work, most heroes need to turn to other sources of a living- such as modelling, advertising, endorsing, etc. It’s been alluded to several times, such as with Uwabami towards Yaomomo and Kendo, that, at least for the girls, these extra media jobs are central to doing herowork! Even male heroes such a Present Mic have side-jobs, and I wonder as well for whether they’re because he wants to, or because they’re financially necessary. This all also leads to fierce competition. While heroes can in cases work well together, it’s shown as early as ep. 1 that there is also infighting and lack of communication, such as when Mt. Lady created unnecessary property damage in order to do nothing more than steal Kamui Wood’s thunder (and in extension, money). 

While at UA there are times where they students are forced to work together, overall it seems like communication and cooperativeness is something optional and never taught. And if Endeavour is any indication, it’s something they’re never expected to learn.

All of this creates a situation where heroes are limited in what they’re able to do. Helping others is most practical to do while working as a term and providing everyone with support, but things are set up with a Strong Lone Hero type ideal. 

They have to constantly look out for their image since it’s their source of income, they have to allocate their time carefully between hero-ing and jobs for money, etc. None of that leaves much opportunity to focus on other central aspects of helping others, such as helping local communities or volunteer work.

So how does this matter outside of the fact that it limits the amount of good that can be done? For starters, it can work as one of the main tools to maintain the hero industry: creating an environment which allows for villains to be created. Not to get too political, but this can lead to a strong parallel between the BNHA universe and our own, or at least many prominent societies irl.

There are countless types of people who turn to villainy, and while some are genuinely evil people who would do wrong in any situation, it’s most likely that the majority of villains are small-fry who did minor or non-violent crimes, just like in real life. And what leads to so many of today’s crimes? Economic disparity, lack of other options, and discrimination.

To start with disparity: public service is already undervalued irl, and I can assume it is over in the BNHA universe as well. Since villains are needed to maintain the hero vs villain rate to keep heroism acting as an industry, there needs to be enough villains. So for those who are controlling and benefiting from the system there would be active interest in maintaining conditions where villains would be created.

An easy way to do this would be by making it harder for heroes to help with community outreach, so that those in need have less practical avenues to get any while at the same time maintaining a cultural idea that heroes are able to save everyone, even in non-villain scenarios, and therefore civilians don’t need to get involved. 

I know that, luckily, lots of people wouldn't fall for it and would still try to take care of their own without heroes involvement, but having a sociocultural and political system invested in maintaining its power would certainly make it harder for the smaller communities where more villains come from to find enough resources.

At the same time, what is one clear example of discrimination shown time and time again in BNHA, something routinely shown in both extreme positive and negative light? Quirks. There’s probably a reason why there are no quirkless heroes, or why Shinsou had such a hard time to get his foot in the door at UA; their society and culture idolizes powerful quirks and overlooks/fears those who have quirk statuses that are deemed not good enough. 

Those with flashy quirks become ‘good’ and those with dangerous quirks become ‘bad’, despite everyone having no control over what quirk they eventually manifest. These people are underrepresented in groups of power, and looked down upon in different contexts. While this won’t in and of itself lead to villainy, it does a first step of ostracising someone from society.

At the same time, there’s a parallel idolization of heroes which aims to create trust in them, for both big and small things- they can save you from a villain, but they can also let you in on a secret of the best shampoo for every hair type for super luscious locks. They can clear debris, but they can also be a hero in every moment of the days, helping others. This is the image that sells, and it’s the image that maintains trust. 

It’s also the image that makes people see an injured and afraid child crying for help and happily think ‘a hero will save him’; it doesn’t matter that it’s improbable, because it’s what the media and hero industry has continually led them to believe. Even the most kind and well-meaning people can be susceptible to incorrect beliefs shared by those they trust.

Villains on the other hand are universally shown as irredeemable, where all of them are viewed as scum of the earth regardless of the severity of their crimes. This helps maintain the image that the hero industry needs to continue to sell itself. Heroes are always good and always win, villains are always bad and always lose. We can trust heroes, so we can trust the system, and we can trust what heroes are paid to tell us. Strong flashy quirks are good because heroes have them and heroes are good. We don’t need to get involved. Everything’s simple and we’re all in the right since we support heroes and we don’t need to worry, yay! The belief system is simple, it makes people feel good, and I understand how it could be appealing. 

Even when Midoriya looked past the idea that heroes would always win, and he went to save Katsuki from the sludge villain, he was admonished for it. While that’s fair because he’s a child and shouldn’t put himself into danger like that, it’s not hard to see how that reflects a wider mindset- not only do civilians not need to help others when there are heroes to do so instead, but it’s bad if civilians do heroes’ jobs for them. 

That would be relatively fine if heroes could always help; it’s shown both here and in canon that that often isn’t the case regardless of how much most heroes genuinely want to help people as best they can.

And of course there are people realizing things feel wrong. But even when there’s criticism of hero society, such as Stain’s ideology and it’s popular reception, it keeps failing to recognize the underlying causes of what’s going on. Heroes aren’t universally shallow and greedy any more than quirkless people are weak victims or people with dangerous quirks are evil. 

As long as the criticisms are like Stain’s in nature, which place the responsibility solely on the shoulders of individual heroes rather than the society as a whole and the people who benefit from how things are set up -the media, corporations which profit off of trust in the Hero Image, politicians which understand how things are set up and use it to improve their image- the system is never going to change. But this is a whole other topic deserving of its’ own analysis, so I’ll stop there for now.

As an example of where this ties all together, take the hero/villain fight in ep 1. It was a huge fight over a purse snatching- people potentially getting injured, major street damage, etc, all over one purse. And what do the civilians have to say about it? They’re impressed by the villains quirk, wondering why such a good quirk is wasted on someone like him; the villain literally gets called the ‘incarnate of evil’ by Kamui Woods- while purse snatching is bad there are much worse things to do, such as, I don’t know, murder; most importantly, the civilians watch it as entertainment.

Wow, cool, a fight! It doesn’t matter that it’s dangerous, because there are heroes there and therefore everyone’s protected. And if people get hurt, that’s sad, but it’s an exception, bad luck, or the injured person did something wrong like not listening to the heroes! The hero vs villain conflicts have become so normalized, sensationalized even, that people feel separate from the situation, as if they are passive bystanders to everything where everything works out as long as they cheer the heroes on. 

And when there are pro heroes, why would anyone need to think about what makes actual ‘heroes’ in the broader sense? They trust the pros, so they trust the system- even though it’s the system which controls the pros.

So as far as I can see- there shouldn’t be a number one hero! The very concept could play into a self-serving system which priorities public image over actually doing good, and in fact would be part of what allows the hero/villain conflict to be so rampant in BNHA’s society! And considering all the potential implications of that, maybe the LOV have a point, even if it’s not as simple as they make it out to be.

At least there’s still hope in the form of 1-A and the other up-and-coming future heroes, and maybe one day they’ll be able to work together and change things into a better, healthier, more cooperative hero system.

[hopevalley]

I just want to thank you for keeping this public. I have promoted you on Twitter and will continue to do so. I want to help in any way I can.

I debated all morning on how to reply to this. I know this is reference to Melinda making her blog private for Tumblr users only, and I think it’s important for me to express my opinion on that situation.

But first: thank you for the Twitter promotion! I have a Twitter account, but I admit I rarely use it (because I find it confusing to use lol). It’s @july_skies !

Regarding Melinda’s decision to privatize her blog: I support it. She works hard on her content and deserves to feel that people who like it will be capable of supporting it in a direct way (reblogs specifically). Nothing sucks more than making stuff and seeing that nobody’s looking at it or enjoying it, and whether or not that’s what it seems like to (general) you, that’s how it comes across when people don’t reblog her stuff. It’s depressing. It’s like she’s throwing her hard work right into the void.

While I’m on the subject, I’d like to talk about content creation a little more, to help give you guys a better idea of fandom and your place as a consumer of fanworks; I know a lot of you might be new to the concept, and you can’t know if nobody thinks to tell you.

For my “credentials,” let’s just say I’ve been a content creator for more than half my life and there’s something we lifers call fandom participation or fandom engagement. They are more or less the same thing, and the terminology boils down to us answering this question: “How is the fandom at large engaging with our content?”

In the last handful of years, participation is down across the board. When I first got into writing fanfiction I’d get at least 40 comments on anything I wrote. Many of my works ended up with 60+ comments on them! 

Now I’m lucky if anyone comments at all, especially in this fandom. Again, it’s a problem everywhere, but I still get comments on fanfic I posted five years ago in other fandoms; meanwhile, this one remains relatively silent. 

I post on AO3 for two big reasons. 1) ACCESSIBILITY. AO3′s site layout is easy to read! It’s easy to format! It’s friendly to people with issues seeing small print! And then we have 2) I do it to give people the option of commenting anonymously (in case they’re shy or nervous).

Having an account there isn’t required at all. People just choose not to engage with me when I post fanfiction.

It feels bad to spend hours of your time on something only to see 0 notes/comments/likes/reblogs/whatever on it later. Four ‘likes’ doesn’t feel that good either. Did people actually like it? Are they pity-likes? Do they even care? People mindlessly ‘like’ a lot of things; maybe they did that with your content, too. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy seeing ‘likes’ but a ‘like’ is more or less an acknowledgement that they’ve seen the content, not that they enjoyed it or want more of it.

Also, likes/kudos don’t draw in more readers: comments do. When a reader’s scrolling down the front page of their favorite AO3 fandom, they click on the ‘fics that look like they might be ‘good’ and even though it’s not always TRUE that the ‘best’ stories have the most comments, a lot of readers filter by the number of comments! 

Comments tell other readers: this is worth checking out!

Let’s look at a quick example of one of my ‘fics:

This is from my AO3 account, a random WCtH fanfic. It’s not a long one, but it’s not short either. It’s a reasonable read in terms of time spent to read it, and as you can see 185 people clicked on it, 14 people ‘liked’ it (kudos are “likes”), and I have two comments: one of those comments is @trash-god and the other is me replying to her comment.

Her comment isn’t ‘less than’ because she’s a close friend, but she and I spoke at length about this story on Discord and her comment was just a nice little ‘addition’ to that conversation. Sure, the story’s about characters not many people care about, but look at that: 185 hits on the story. 14 likes. And only one person who read it took five seconds to leave a comment? Really? What about the 13 other people who ‘liked’ it?

What this says to me as a creator is that the ONLY person who is going to comment is the one person who might feel obligated to, and if that’s the case, why don’t I just save my stories to show her privately? Why bother posting them out into the void to hear nothing but silence from everyone else?

This is the direction that @whencallstheheart is coming from. What’s the point of spending hours creating these things when nobody interacts with you? Posting to silence feels bad. And look, to put it into perspective, editing gifs to post, writing fanfic, doing write-ups, maintenance of a blog, site, or social media presence: it’s super time-consuming. 

Melinda and I both work full-time jobs as it is. My job hit full busy season and I’m even getting overtime now. I’m in training to take over the department next year and I’m tired at the end of the day. When I get home I have eight cats, a house to take care of, and a spouse, not to mention my in-laws live right next door and need help sometimes. We also have a property we just planted 1500 trees on by hand that we have to monitor, and my husband owns a house we rent to someone that needs work done on it, too. Sometimes, life is busy.

And don’t get me wrong! I enjoy creating, just like I’m sure Melinda does. I feel awful if I can’t “create.”

But if my choices are:

work for five hours on a fanfic or episode write-up only to get 4 likes on it, OR

play a video game or watch a movie or read a book or sit on the deck watchin’ the sun go down while I work on a crocheting project…

The latter definitely appeals to me more knowing I have to get up in the morning to go back to work again. My time is worth something. Neither Melinda nor I are getting paid to create this content. We put it together for free, in what spare time we have, in the midst of our own chaotic lives. My website costs me a chunk of money every year to keep up and running ad-free, and I could get all 1500 trees weeded in the amount of time it takes me to put together an episode write-up or decent fanfic.

All content creators ask for in exchange for their free labor is a sense of community, and that can be anything from:

comments on fanfics you enjoyed, even if they are just to say, “I read this and enjoyed it.” 

messages that say, “I really like how [this edit you did] turned out.”

reblogs on Tumblr, retweets on Twitter, emails to website owners

you can even create your own blog and use it to begin conversations with those creators!

You guys have been pretty good about engaging with the show itself through us, but don’t forget to engage with the content you enjoy seeing that comes about because of the show. 

Fandom content keeps the show alive even when it’s not currently airing, and supporting content creators keeps them creating. Everyone wins, then!

To talk specifically about written content...

Readers are the ones who ensure more material is created. Hands down.

And again: I love writing!! I DO. I’ve been writing seriously for more years of my life than I haven’t been writing seriously! But it’s disheartening to post a fanfic and get my one obligation comment.

Now, it’s fine if you don’t read fanfiction or even enjoy it. It’s also fine if the things I’ve posted aren’t to your specific tastes. Trust me, I get it; nobody is obligated to comment on my fanfiction, and I don’t want anyone to feel that they should be.

But please know this: if you do enjoy something, whether it’s fanfic or edits or something else, you NEED to engage with it, or it WILL disappear. People don’t like talking to walls. It’s frustrating and it isn’t a good use of their time.

(This is one of the reasons I haven’t bothered doing a novelization of the series. It could be fun, but for 0 comments it’s not worth spending the time on.)

Again, you guys have been great when it comes to engaging with the show material, particularly while the show is airing. It’s been fun speculating with you and hearing all of your different thoughts. I know sometimes Tumblr doesn’t make it easy to communicate, either, and you’ve all done a great job of getting around that.

But in between seasons things get slow on this blog and it’s hard for me (or anyone running a blog) to feel motivated to provide content of any sort if you’re not going to take the time to engage in it.

I’ll never mark this blog as private, but if I get to the point where I can’t get any engagement from the fans, I’ll shut it down. The point of having a “fandom blog” is to interact with other fans.

I enjoy providing content to you guys, but if participation drops off to nothing, I’ll be taking that as my signal that the audience is gone and my time would be better spent elsewhere. 

So if you’re here and you’re enjoying things, don’t forget to take a little time out of your day to let your content creators know! Not just me and Melinda, of course, but your favorite people on Instagram, Twitter, and other sites as well. ♥ You might be surprised how happy they’ll be to receive interaction from other fans.

And another plug for fanfiction, because 1) they always get the short end of things considering how hard it is to amass the creative energy necessary to tell a good story, and 2) I noticed it’s the #2 page on my website getting visited: if you’ve enjoyed anything you’ve read for When Calls the Heart, tell the author! Here’s the section for WCtH on AO3! Is English not your native language/you’re not confident in your ability to write English? No worries! I’ve gotten many thoughtful comments in other languages and from people who spoke limited English, and trust me: I treasured every one. If you’re just not sure how to comment on fanfic, send me a message and I’ll give you some tips!

I don’t intend this as a slight against my anonymous friend up there AT ALL; I think it can be hard to be in fandom, especially if you’re newer to the scene. There’s a lot of history that’s long gone by now and missing out on it means it’s harder to step into fandom without also accidentally stepping on toes.

Sometimes we take for granted that we have an almost unlimited supply of fanfiction, gifs, memes, blogs, and so on at our disposal. But none of that comes from thin air and it never did. It’s the cumulative hard work of millions of people throwing their hearts and souls into something they’re passionate about in an effort to engage with other fans.

I hope this helped put things into perspective a bit!! Sending love at all of you that stuck around this far; I know it was quite a bit of a ramble LOL!

[smoothshift]

Compared to other interests, the social aspect of the car hobby really sucks via /r/cars

Compared to other interests, the social aspect of the car hobby really sucks

Before I get into this: This has been on my mind for a while so I figure I could throw it out there. I'm not expecting this hobby to change at all, because there's no way it really can change, but I figure I'm not the only person who feels this way, so someone should say it. Whatever here's my long post.

As a social hobby, being into cars actually kinda sucks unless you have money. I say this because there are a lot of invisible barriers to participation that mostly depend on how much money you have. As for participation, let's say you just bought yourself a car, the classic Honda Civic, for example, or you've been driving it for years, and now you want to get into cars as hobby. Well you stop by an online automotive discussion board and what are the things you see? Generally, it's discussion of new products on the market, videos from the popular youtubers, general experiences and opinions, working on cars, and actually driving cars, usually in that order of frequency. Let's take a look at what you'll find in these threads.

New Products: Always a staple for keeping up on the hobby, so what's new today? Got some news about some Porsches, the new Corvette, reviews on the new Mazda 3, and it's always fun and neat to read about, but that stuff is really out of your reach for now.

Youtubers: There's a lot of videos about rare and/or fast cars, tests comparing cars, guys showing off flashy cars, going to track meets and racing, etc. All this stuff seems pretty cool, but you've never even seen most of these cars in real life let alone driven one, it's all beyond your level, but that's fine, what else is there?

General experiences and opinions: Here's something you can participate in without needing a newer, fast car or a completely restored something or other, what have we got? “What seemingly basic car surprised you?” “Whats the worst car you've ever driven?” “Manual vs automatic” etc. Lot's of comparisons here, what can you really say since all you've ever driven is your Honda Civic, the parent's Malibu with which you passed your driver's test, and Uncle's Mustang that he let you drive around the block once? Does everyone here buy another car every other week? Do they have friends that just toss them the keys to their cars? That's fine, there's got to be something you can talk about here.

Working on cars: Ahhh here we go. You used to help your dad do oil changes, brake bleeds, one time you changed the timing belt, then you got your car and did the alternator and cv axles. You can talk about this stuff. Oh, wait, this is a lot of discussion and videos about performance mods, engine swaps, serious work, and most of it is on cars outside your financial reach anyways, nevermind the fact that you live in an apartment and can't pull out the engine in the parking lot, even if you had the specialty tools like an engine hoist. Even if you did, that car is your transportation to work and school and you can't have it out of commission while you try modding it. Is there anything you can participate in here? Well now, here's something.

Actually driving cars: Hell yes. You've done just about anything you can do in your little car. You've taken it to parking lots to practice throwing it sideways and braking when dry, wet, and icy, you've tamed the mountain roads—both paved and dirt—to practice apexing corners, braking points, accelerating out of turns, managing understeer/oversteer, all that stuff, and you've practiced techniques you've seen online like the Scandinavian Flick until you could do it in your sleep.

So here's the one thread this week that actually talks about something you can contribute to, and you describe your experiences. And what's this? You've now got people calling you a piece of shit for doing such things on public roads and saying you should take it to a track. Now you don't have a track within 300 miles of you, driving to one would require taking off work, paying track fees, and paying to prep your car, so it's extremely difficult. Then you notice that the people saying such things don't have such problems because in their sigs/flair they have a multi-car garage where each car costs at least 10x as much as what you paid for yours. Maybe you could wait for next week's thread since very few people actually talk about driving their cars.

Maybe you're better off finding a different hobby, but here's one last thread, it's about how the current economic situation is making cars difficult to buy for young people. Apparently, this thread was made for you. What do you find inside though? It's just turned into a debate about whether buying a car cash or financing it and investing the money is better. You have no idea because you've never had enough money to even consider investing, so you're shit out of luck here too.

This irks me so much because out of any hobby I've ever participated in, this is only a problem here because this hobby focuses so much on what you can buy rather than what you can do with it. In the shooting hobby, you can get into it for $300 or less for almost anything, then you just have ammo and range fees, unless you have public land nearby. And better yet, when you go to talk to people online, all you have to do is have an interest in the hobby, developing your own skills, and go shooting every so often and you're as valid of a participant as the next guy, because there, it doesn't matter if you bought the best thing, if you can't use it then who cares? Same goes for guitar. Buy a $200 Ibanez and everything after that is all you learning how to play it. The dude with the $3000 guitar doesn't get special recognition just for having it if he can't play. And for participating in discussions, you get to be a helpful contributor by being experienced, and you can gain experience by reading, practicing, and general learning over time.

In contrast, just reading about cars doesn't get you very far here, practicing doesn't matter if people rarely talk about driving, and everything after that has a price barrier. Even just focusing on the driving portion of the hobby rather than the possession portion, the guy who has the Corvette, STI, or something can smoke your Civic because unless you are some god of driving, he just has to not crash or spin out. But in shooting, the guy who knows how to shoot can use his pawn shop P89 to beat the noob with the $4000 race gun in any competition possible. In music, the skilled player can crank some sound out of a cheap instrument, while an expensive one will still sound like shit from a bad player. But here, you can literally buy your way to success.

Now I'll admit that I'm exaggerating a little bit. I have participated in plenty of discussions here and money isn't the absolute end-all-be-all of being involved in the hobby, but for most discussions I do feel like I'm on the outside looking in because I don't have the cash to upgrade from a basic transportation-mobile, but why should I feel like I have to “upgrade”? I never felt like I needed to upgrade when I was playing a $150 knock-off Strat or shooting a milsurp P1, but here you do, and it's going to cost you.

[jerseydeanne]

Gossip site for both celebs/pseudo-celebs arrests, divorces, breakups and hookups, new deals and cancellations, A-D listers and everything in between.

Read the comments, presumed to be you-know-who!

I kicked a hornet's nest last night. I posted the entire thread, I’ll let you guys be the judge. Thank you anon 🌺🌺🌺🌺

FRIDAY, JULY 20, 2018

Blind Item #13

Apparently when our favorite former actress was back in the States a few months ago, she slipped her drug of choice past her protection via a friend. This time around, she is going to have to find a new way to get herself supplied. Oh, I have no doubts she will. It is one of the main reasons she is visiting. She misses that kind of partying and she knows no one will dare arrest her if she is busted. It is partying without having to worry about any legal consequences at all.

POSTED BY ENT LAWYER AT 11:45 AM

1 – 74 of 74

Boldblonde

said...

Guess she didn’t lose him!

9:59 AM

Just Paige

said...

We will know this is true if she ends up dead. If it is there will be proof and the Monarchy won't allow that.

10:00 AM

Do Tell

said...

Is this saying that Meghan yachted WHILE she was dating Harry?

10:03 AM

sandybrook

said...

I'm sure she needed the additional income a yachting excursion provided her. Entern has always said she just an opportunist looking out for herself.

10:03 AM

Sd Auntie

said...

She must be a firecracker in the sack. Harry does not care and probably used escorts his whole frickin life.

10:04 AM

Sunspirit

said...

So was she with Harry when she was yachting?

10:04 AM

Sunspirit

said...

With him as in relationship wise

10:05 AM

Ash X

said...

Is yachting like prostitution? What is yachting?

10:06 AM

Damiana

said...

Sounds like it was before...then XX introduced her to Harry thinking in terms of Harry hiring Me-Again and either she spun it into a "blind date" (as reported for their meeting), or he didn't understand the setup and assumed it was a blind date. Question is, who's the fixer? Guy Pelly or Markus Anderson? And has HRH twigged yet? If not, who's going to tell him?

10:07 AM

Don Kieballs

said...

I can't see Harry marrying a yacht girl. Reformed yachter possibly, but not one who was doing it while they were dating. He may be a ginger, but he's a Power Ginger.

10:08 AM

Appalachian Mothersauce

said...

I think they're truly smitten, and that longevity will only be tested by time.... But Harry is no saint, and if he judges her on her past, he's scumA++.

10:12 AM

Shakira Eakins

said...

I agree. It seems fitting he find a party girl that understands his past and won't treat him like crap for it.

10:15 AM

Don Kieballs

said...

If you go by this blind. Megan was a yacht girl and Harry was one to use the services of yacht girls (why else would the friend make the assumption?) If they both participated in yacht activities, then neither is morally superior. Harry would have no standing to criticize her - not that he has or would.

10:17 AM

Do Tell

said...

It's not 100% up to Harry. If the Palace finds out that she was doing this, he will face a lot of pressure to dump her or renounce it all to marry her.

10:19 AM

Observant One

said...

When I hear the story about how PH and MM met, I immediately thought of Bani and the Celebrity Sex Broker blinds.

10:44 AM

Comment deleted

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:48 AM

Just Paige

said...

@Observant - when I watched the engagement video of them tellling the story I immediately thought of this blind. She is a terrible actress and it was so rehearsed: she touches his arm - reminds him to seem off the cufff...

10:50 AM

Rafael

said...

It´s a LARP. Enty is a cuckservative 4chan larper and is angry because Obama did an interview with Harry and now is visiting William. While the dumb Trump is hated by everyone. lol

10:50 AM

Mango

said...

Not a fan of the royals but I can't believe that the palace hasn't thoroughly investigated Markle, so she must have passed muster. The palace staff are more class conscious and snooty than the royals. I googled, "who introduced Harry and Meghan" and the name "designer Misha Nonoo" kept coming up. I'd never heard of her so I looked up her website and her designs are meager, repetitive and forgettable, however Nonoo is a tall attractive blonde, so I totally believe that she could be a yacht girl who does the part time work to finance her design house.

10:58 AM

John Doe

said...

Who is Harry's friend that she was yachting with? We all know she has a history but I doubt that Harry cares much because his whole life has been about hookers and weed.

10:59 AM

Cheez Whiz

said...

WTF is a LARP? Live Action Role Play? @Rafael, your comment makes absolutely no sense at all. Too much DemocraticUnderground before the morning coffee?

11:01 AM

Beth

said...

Nonoo was married to a friend of the royals. That's how she comes to Harry. The other person who may be the matchmaker is Violet von Westenholz.

11:03 AM

Observant One

said...

@Just Paige - That's exactly what I was watching. I agree with your assessment of her behavior during that video.

11:10 AM

texasrose

said...

I think this blind implies she yachted before Harry and that is when one of Harry's buddies used her. Later when he saw them together he just assumed that Harry was using her services also. Doesn't necessarily mean she was yachting when dating Harry. Ash X - just google yacht girls. The term started when beautiful girls hung out at Cannes Film festival and then just with rich guys on their yachts in the med. It has evolved into just high high priced escorts to rich guys and not necessarily on yachts and generally referring to celeb or semi celeb women doing it. It is apparently a real thing. A lot of blinds here about actresses you would never guess that have been 'yacht' girls or still do $$$$ escorting.

11:17 AM

Crazycatlady

said...

Lol at “power ginger” thank-you @Don... you’re on fire today 🤓

11:30 AM

Nutty_Flavor

said...

Unpopular opinion, but the Queen saw her sister, who was also the "spare", destroyed by being unable to marry the man she wanted. Harry is 6th in line to the throne, or will be by the time he marries, so I don't think the vetting is as extreme for Meghan as it would have been for anyone William dated.

11:30 AM

Daily Union

said...

Factor this into the equation. Meghan Markle is paid to perform. (In all kinds of situations). She has now lucked into the gig of a lifetime, playing the role of Prince Harry's loving wife. The Princess role- with the being American,divorced,multi-cultural thrown in for distraction and media-adoration bonus points. The reason for this performance is simple, Prince Harry is a closeted Gay Man, who wishes to pursue his lifestyle behind closed doors. Ignore the manufactured P.R. around his bachelor lifestyle, and examine his past "romances". Think "straight" about this, no man in his position, or a Joe on the Street would ever consider marring Meghan Markle , with the slightest knowledge of her past. This is just a "Hollywood type" arranged marriage to give the Stars cover.

11:35 AM

Gordon Scott

said...

Agree, Nutty_Flavor; it's a lot lower standard for Harry than Billy, as Harry will never inherit. And the standards for Billy are lower than they were for Chuck. Still, I'm sure that Betty and Phil Battenberg think that Uncle Eddie's spouse was enough yachting for the family. The question is: do they care enough at their ages to push back? Certainly there is no cattier bunch than the palace staff, and if there's a rumour, they either know about it or they started it. Perhaps Meggie has a unique ability to charm them. Stranger things, what? Meanwhile, Sarah and Andy grind their teeth....

11:46 AM

Gordon Scott

said...

@Daily Union: well, that would explain a lot, now, wouldn't it? Uncle Eddie is said to have been fond of playing the whistle, with Wally cheering him on. Perhaps grandma Betty should create him Duke of Windsor.

11:53 AM

Lisa

said...

Clearly Me-again (good one) got herself knocked up. It’s the only way the Windsor’s would agree to this ridiculous marriage. A black prostitute marrying a royal. Only in Hollywood. What a dumb skank.

11:55 AM

VRWC

said...

+1 That made me spit out my drink.

12:10 PM

Andi F

said...

She's the usual actress, a user and social climber, who believes her own hype. I sometimes watched Suits and didn't know her real name until she got with Harry, B grade is being generous.

12:25 PM

drerocks79

said...

SdAuntie A LOT of rich men end up marrying their favorite escort. The upper east side is filled with 'em

12:28 PM

Unknown

said...

👍

12:34 PM

Normal. Yes indeed.

said...

Really rich people own yachts. Yacht girls are hookers that charge prices only rich guys can afford. Hence the term yacht girl. Go spend a weekend in the yacht...

12:39 PM

os75

said...

She must be good

1:16 PM

Glitter

said...

Remember: Long ago, a blind here revealed that Grace Kelly was a yacht girl.

1:26 PM

Nutty_Flavor

said...

Grace Kelly had a healthy sexual appetite. I’m not sure she would have required payment for a weekend on a yacht.

1:36 PM

Lindy

said...

I assume yachting means more than yachting.

1:57 PM

Lindy

said...

But don’t you think - to use the water metaphor - that that ship has sailed. I think it’s too late to back out even if he or his family are having doubts.

2:00 PM

Mango

said...

@ Nutty_Flavor - excellent point about the queen seeing her beloved sister destroyed by not being about to marry her divorced lover. Maybe the Q has accepted that her heirs will marry who they want? Her (alleged) favorite son married and survived Fergie, so maybe Markle will be a walk in the park. (Or a flash in the pan??) @ Observant one - When H and M were doing their interview, the thing that caught my attention/bugged me was their talk about roasting a chicken. "Look! We were cooking our simple dinner! Just like you regular folk!"

2:20 PM

Andi F

said...

Grace was supposedly sexually abused by her dad growing up, and used the casting couch in HW for acting roles and yachting in Europe for the income.

2:22 PM

Randaleese

said...

OH BS!! Trust! The Queen knows everything..,and apparently, it’s either NOT TRUE or Queen realizes times, they are a-changing and DGAFF!

2:27 PM

fairylights

said...

I'm pretty sure that Harry had to ask the Queen's permission before he could get engaged to M.M., I don't think he's far enough down the list to be able to avoid that. I'm also pretty sure that the gossipy Buck palace people made sure her majesty heard about all the info about her, not to mention any information their version of secret service dug up. My guess is that it's a combo of Harry being down the list of succession and the example of all four of her children being divorced were enough for her to decide it wasn't that important....as long as she doesn't continue on like Fergie did. @ Don, 'Power Ginger': Love it!!!

2:44 PM

emeraldcity

said...

Grace wasn't abused, no sexually anyway, her father pretty much ignored her, the boys were everything to him, not to mention that stories abound that he believed she was not actually his daughter. She spent her whole life trying to win his praise and affection which resulted in a father figure complex,and affairs with much older men (Bing, Gary Cooper, Gary Grant) as a dark spin off from this. She was no angel and actually very catty to other women, Ava Gardner called her out in public on her hypocrisy, Liz Taylor and Joan Collins were in the room at the time. As for this blind, I take it with a pinch of salt , MI6 would have everything on this woman and the Queen would be told as she seems quite taken with Meg, it probably came from one of Harry's friends who isn't happy about him marrying Meg so is sticking the knife in. Enty is safe from litigation because the royals never sue about gossip , too many other things might come out in court.

2:46 PM

Do Tell

said...

She is the new Koo Stark. I guess time will tell if things play out the way they did with Andrew and Koo.

2:49 PM

346NYC

said...

I see ZERO chemistry between Harry and MM. Is this like a George Clooney/Amal Beard situation? Also, I've seen some reports that Harry is not Charles son. Some have reported he looks like one of Diana's lovers. Any truth to this? If there is any truth to the former, why should the Queen care who Harry marries if he's not related to the Queen anyway?

2:53 PM

Observant One

said...

@Mango - The roasting a chicken bit made me wonder if it was a code phrase....they said it multiple times. I know I'm cynical as hell, and maybe I have read too many of Enty's blinds over the years, but I thought it was way too contrived. I am trying to figure out why she ALWAYS has her hand on his arm, or his back. So far, my reasoning has led me to think she knows he misses his mother desperately, so she has determined that he needs constant touching and reassurance. I don't like being catty, and I am certainly not racist, but this relationship seems too contrived, like the roast chicken.

3:27 PM

Comment deleted

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:27 PM

Dallas Alice

said...

Or, maybe they were just roasting a damn chicken and he proposed. I certainly have no means of comparison, but I’d imagine cooking your own dinner is quite a lark when you have to make an appointment to see your own Grandmother. She’s definitely grabby, but Americans tend to be more like that. Perhaps they’re actually in love. I’ll choose to think they are.

3:39 PM

Donna Marie

said...

346NYC, apparently Diana did have an affair with a ginger. However, Google Lady Sarah McCorquodale and Baroness Fellowes. Those are Diana's older sisters, they are both gingers, and Harry strongly resembles them. I've also noticed that as Harry gets older, he begins to look more and more like a Windsor male in all but coloring. (though the height comes from his mother's side) All in all, I believe he's a genetic Windsor.

4:14 PM

Hortensia

said...

No one ever says what the past allegations are about Markle. Just this yacht story. Harry has definitely changed his demeanor/appearance since the engagement announcement. A couple of psychics have said it won't last more than five years. Markle was supposedly up for the next Bond movie as a Bond girl. That would have sent her career into the stratosphere. Hmmmm.

4:22 PM

Lisa

said...

She is pregnant.

4:37 PM

BCC

said...

Only Markle says she was supposed to be a Bond girl. Nobody else - certainly not the Bond film people.

4:39 PM

just sayin'

said...

What I find interesting is the theory that Diana's biological father is James Goldsmith. She looked so much more like Jemima Kahn then the Spencer sisters. If true, it would make Harry's children with Meghan 1/4 Jewish and 1/4 Black.

4:41 PM

Gordon Scott

said...

Meggie a Bond girl? Not the lead, certainly. She's not that hot. As for Harry being one of mom's lovers' sons? The timing is wrong for that. Also, there's a pic of grandpa Phil at about Harry's current age, with beard. They look like brothers. He's got the Battenberg Y chromos. The word among those who served with Harry is that he's a good chap. Passing on the family tradition of the holiday hunt because Meggie doesn't like it--plus his body language around her--well, that doesn't bode so well for the future. But his gonads are surplus to requirements now, thus he can just be gossip fodder. It's a shame, as he was thought to be the one to bring back some rascally masculinity in house Battenberg.

4:49 PM

Elamina

said...

It was interesting to me that the last (and only other) blind by Enty that 'revealed' Markle as a yacht girl disappeared from this site overnight. It said like more and more people were coming forward about it and named other women from MMs Deal or No Deal days that did the same to supplement their income. They commanded higher rates because of being on a tv show.

5:06 PM

Scandi Sanskrit

said...

I saw "Diana: In Her Own Words" on NatGeo channel. It was originally first aired during a lunar eclipse (well, that was my memory of it). She said she used to hear voices. Like Prince Charles proposed to her and said something along the lines of, "you realise that means you might become queen someday?" And the voice said, "you won't Ben queen but you'll have an important role." And it came true... 🌙

5:51 PM

Scandi Sanskrit

said...

⚡️GO GO POWER GINGER! ⚡️ (He'd be the Orange Ranger)

6:02 PM

theassangefiles

said...

Longtime reader here, first comment - Had to ask if anyone remembers that Jimmy Saville, underage rapist and sex purveyer extrodanaire was also intimately connected with Prince Charles and considered his "mentor", and was allowed to come and go in Buckingham Palace as he pleased. The Queen knows how to handle little Miss Markle, and it will be to appear to be kind and accepting but make no mistake, Markle will be lucky to last through the next five years, and the tabloid thrashing that is going to hound both her and Harry will "teach" him to fall in line next time around, no doubt about it.

7:54 PM

Scooterchick

said...

My take: Meghan is approved because with all her diversity (American, actress, biracial, divorced) and the distraction it has created, she makes Camilla look less awful, and a bit less controversial. It's pretty clear that the Queen plans on Charles taking the reins, and whatever Camilla will be (Consort? Surely not Queen, one hopes!), she will be in a position that has not occurred in the British Royal family in centuries, as a divorced publicly acknowledged adultress & cuckolder (or is it cuckoldress hahah?). Royal PR are very savvy & trying to spin Chas. & Camilla as less unsavoury than they have been viewed in the past. BTW, has anyone seen Tracy Ullman's take-off on Csmilla? Very spots on Youtubr: it's a scream.

7:58 PM

McJ 2051

said...

So PH has a Pretty Woman fetish I guess?

8:32 PM

boredatwork boredatwork

said...

I agree with the commenters saying that Harry has hit a new low. Everything about those 2 seems too fake and contrived - at least on her side. She's really a mediocre C list actress, with mediocre looks. A trip to Top Shop on Oxford Circus, and one can spot 100 Markles, much better looking than this one. He could do so much better, but prefers to settle for average, in every way.

9:43 PM

Mrs Meat

said...

I know someone who moved in Royal circles who says it's openly acknowledged within the fam that Harry is James Hewitt's son. But personally I can see Prince Charles in his looks.

12:41 AM

Media Viewer

said...

I heard it was the other way round. Awkward when a mutual acquaintance turned out to be a girl from Harry's past. At 1st, Meghan Markle repeatedly turned down Harry's invitations because she had a boyfriend. I remember reading about that back in 2015 when Harry 1st spotted her as an exercise guru on Canadian TV. Finally she agreed to go on a date with him and it was arranged through a friend. Could it be that not every human with a vagina is a whore for fame, money and power? Could it be that those at the British tabloids are just bitter? They hated Frank Sinatra too. That's why they called them rats. Could it be they buried the truth about Harry trolling for chicks on TV programs because it's unseemly?

12:43 AM

Nonya Bidness

said...

A new low? I tend to think his low was the Nazi costume. So you think he only consorted with pedigreed virgins before? Curious what bothers you most about MM, her sexual history or her race.

6:37 AM

Nutty_Flavor

said...

@Media Viewer, not sure where you got the idea that the British tabloids were "bitter" about Markle. Both the Daily Mail and the Sun have been outdoing themselves to sell her to the British public. The last 3 Markle headlines in The Sun: "Get that Markle Sparkle: Meghan Markle's Skincare guru on the perfect prep for your big day." "One is Amused: Meghan Markle's Xmas gift to the Queen caused Her Maj to burst out laughing." "Royal Knees Up: Pubs to open until 1am for 2 nights to celebrate Harry and Meghan's wedding." The tabloids are there to get clicks - and have a healthy side business being paid for placement, which is why you see so many articles about Emily Ratajkowski in them. Whether the positive Meghan articles are paid-for-placement or just a way to stay in good graces with the Firm is unknown. The fact is, though, that the British tabloids are not tearing Meghan down at this point in time.

8:39 AM

Em Lew

said...

It can't be anything worse than what Prince Andrew got up to with his friend Epstein. Then there's Charlie's friendship with serial abuser Savile. The Royals can cover up scandal no problem, as they have the security services doing it for them.

2:06 PM

Count Jerkula

said...

I hope one of Markle's tricks had his cabin wired for video and sound, and the tape finds its way to a foreign file locker or tube site.

3:58 PM

Enny

said...

He looks so much like a young Prince Philip it’s ridiculous. How can people ignore such a strong resemblance to his father and paternal grandfather? It makes no sense. Yes, Diana had affairs. No, she did not father Harry with one of them.

6:03 PM

boredatwork boredatwork

said...

None - you must be one of those ppl who judges ppl by the colour of their skin, and not the content of their character. To you, MM, who is average in every way, is special, because of her race, while I don't give a shit about her race, and I dislike her purely for what sort of person she appears to be. Reverse racism it's called.

12:48 AM

Gail Banks

said...

Fairylights - only three of Queen Elizabeth's children are divorced, not four. Prince Edward is still married to Sophie Rhys-Jones.

4:56 AM

La-Juice

said...

as much as I dislike him, remember, Charles too knows what its like to be forbidden to marry who he loved- and look at the lengths he ultimately went ot and the disaster that ensued. Maybe Harry really loves her- given his past, I have to believe he knows all about her. I bet the castle/crown staff just keeps all of Meghan's indiscretions/past secreted from the very old Queen, whose husband is failing... can't be too hard.

12:52 PM

Sharon Betz

said...

Does anyone have info on Joe Guiliano Meghan Markle first husband? Joseph J. Goldman-Guiliano, Northwestern grad, criminal defense attorney in MA?

8:01 AM

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updates: the sick leave pressure, the overload of vacation time, and more

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are five updates from past letter-writers.

1. My boss pressures me to take sick leave, but I can’t afford to

Based on the advice I’d been given, I decided to knuckle down and focus on getting another job – any other job. I know a lot of people suggested I contact Citizen’s Advice, but I was honestly (and still am) a little wary of doing that, as my father has dealt with them in the past regarding a job issue that was a lot more clear cut and wrong, in my opinion, and that didn’t go well for him.

Anyway, it turned out to be really lucky I was looking for other work, as at the start of May (not even a month after I sent my letter!) they laid me off. It was in a really mean way as well, because my boss came up to me at my desk (in front of my coworkers), and said ‘We’re going to have to lower your hours’ and I was like, ‘Okay, what to?’ My boss: ‘Zero.’ And then she laughed. Yup. Seriously. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more degraded in my working life. It was as if the whole thing was just a big joke to her. I wasn’t the only person to get laid off that day, but I had also just published their new website days before, so my family and I are pretty sure that played a part in it as well.

Anyway, that sucked, but I had an interview the Monday after for a 6 month full time writing internship. The interview went well – it wasn’t exceptional or anything – but lo and behold, I got the internship!

I’ve now been here a week and it’s amazing. I have holiday and sick pay, and I’m even getting put through their pension scheme! (Though whether that’s worth it right now seeing as it’s just an internship, I don’t know. Any thoughts on that?) I’m also earning the highest wage I’ve ever had! And best of all, I’m doing something I’m really passionate about! Who knew things would work out so well in the end?

2. I got in a car accident because my company insisted I do an event in a remote town during a blizzard

I can’t believe it’s already been 2 years since my letter! To confirm what many people guessed, I was a part-time independent contractor for this company. I shared in the original comments how I told my manager I was in an accident driving home from the event and wouldn’t be able to work for a while. She simply told me to let her know when I could work again and to find someone to cover my upcoming shifts. I tried to push for the company to figure out my shifts but ultimately I had to find coverage myself.

Then I actually couldn’t work for quite some time. By the time I was able to go back to that job, I honestly just wanted nothing to do with them and I quit instead. I mentioned in my resignation how I felt their weather policy is dangerous and they should consider giving the employee some say in if it is safe to drive. My manager didn’t even acknowledge what I said – basically just gave me an “okay, I’ll take you off our lists.”

The funny thing is they NEVER took me off their email list/job board despite several reminders from me. I still get their emails to this day! Most of their emails now are either pleas for someone to take upcoming shifts, about adding/losing clients (they seem to go cycle through clients quickly), offering incentives if you refer a friend to work for them, or sharing that X manager has left “because they couldn’t handle the hours/stress/work-life-balance” or some other kind of aggressive-sounding statement. So, draw your own conclusions there (I certainly have).

But enough about them! I mentioned before that I couldn’t work for a while – it turned out I actually hurt my shoulder pretty bad. I ended up needing surgery and then was in physical therapy for several months. So 2017 was pretty rough.

I have made a full recovery at this point and (finally!) this summer was able to re-join my favorite sport. Plus, my full-time job was SO amazing during this time. They let me work from home while my car was in the shop, gave me all the time I needed for the surgery, didn’t deduct any PTO for my Physical Therapy sessions, and let me work from home on days I was just really sore. I also got a significant raise this year despite all of this craziness in 2017 :)

The whole experience has made me so appreciative of good companies that actually care for employees. In case anyone still needs to hear it: if you don’t put an effort into your people, they’re not going to put an effort into your company!

3. My spouse and I want to be a cam couple

Thanks so much for publishing! You’re amazing and I preordered your new book on apple store. I thought I would finally send you an update. Sorry for how long it is, but I’m a long term lurker and actively commenting is not for me and I know there might be some speculation. I read through your answer and all the comments at length when it published and I haven’t looked again.

Hubby and I decided against cam sex work because of your thoughtful answer, and your wonderful commentariat.

I would like to address how horrified some people were when considering the ethics. I was honestly shocked. It made me think I shouldn’t go to strip clubs anymore or participate in any alternative lifestyles (even without being recorded, of course). To be clear: I would NEVER have sex with a patient or client. And, It made me realize how shocked a social work colleague was when I told him that he was obligated to let parents know anytime he made a CPS referral. Even while under licensure and being licensed it seems like a lot of social workers operate in silos. The more you know, right?

Also my husband doesn’t have a college degree. His insurance, as well as mine, is free because our companies self fund. It would require a significant pay raise to get him to leave, because adding him to my insurance would take a big chunk out of my salary and most other jobs on his blue collar level do NOT offer such great benefits. Y’all know this is America and I work in healthcare and insurance is Gold.

Thanks to the advice I’ve been lurking on even more on financial websites and I will try to remember to be grateful that I can mortgage my brain to live the good life. And both hubby and I have opted for decent life insurance payouts in case one of us dies, so we can live the life of our dreams. And if I go first he is instructed NOT to pay my Federal student loans because that’s a great benefit. We have already paid off the loans he cosigned (he had better credit at age 22 then either sets of parents, but regardless it’s OUR debt, not our parents’). I’ve lurked the captain awkward archives and gleaned some good scripts about freeloading family members. I’ve been successful with everyone but grandmas (plural), and we have a loved one on our cell phone bill but that is IT. Someone mentioned divorce and hubby asked me what I would do if I leave him after we pay off this debt. I told him I’d have to pay him alimony, so it would be better for me to keep him around.

4. Can I ask to keep my private office? (#4 at the link)

Long story short, Jane ended up being placed in my office. I talked to my manager about my reasons, explained how a private space contributed to my productivity, that private calls/meetings took place in the office, and that, quite frankly, a private office is a perk that keeps me in this job. One coworker even overheard this conversation and stopped by to express “that it was absolutely ridiculous that I [letter writer] (a manager) would be forced to share an office, but the office admin (where Prudence’s old desk was) had a large, private office just to type meeting minutes and order birthday cards.” The comment may have been harsh, but it’s always nice to have someone else in your corner. At the end of the day, I realize that my manager had to make a difficult decision and, as such, I got a new roommate.

While Jane is a very nice woman and, at times, has provided very insightful comments or suggestions, sharing an office has had an overall negative impact on my productivity. I’ve had to come in early, work after hours, or take extra work home because of her poor behavior. I’ve estimated that sharing an office with her costs me 4-5 useful hours per week. I’ve worked in several office settings, but her behavior is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Jane takes private calls for hours on end each week, listens to webinars without headphones, comes in late, invites random guests to meet in our shared office, and overall demonstrates a poor understanding of how to behave in an office setting. Others in the office have commented to me about the frequency of loud calls that they can hear from 30-40 feet away and I’ve responded by silently nodding and smiling. Have I said anything to her? Nope.

Here’s why (good news!) – I’ve recently gotten married and will be moving at the end of this month to a major city to join my husband. My new job is with a large company, providing many opportunities for advancement and learning with the bonus of an improved workload.

Thanks again for your advice. As a young manager, it was helpful to have support from you and AAM readers as I navigate these sticky workplace situations.

5. I accrue way more vacation time than I can use

Thank you again for answering my question and for all of the helpful suggestions readers gave as well! I walked away from the post feeling a lot better and I had actual concrete ideas to take to my manager, primarily planning my vacation time in advance.

Within a few weeks of writing in, my siblings and I were gifted a one week stay at friend’s beach house next summer. We’ve been trying to get together for a family trip for years and this seemed like a great opportunity to approach my manager with actual dates for 2019 to request off. Despite the week falling during what can be the busiest month for my department, my vacation days were approved! He brought up the fact that because it was such advance notice, there would be no issue accommodating my request and factoring in my time off as we created next summer’s calendar.

The other great news is that I won’t officially lose any of the excess days I accrued this year- I have the option to add a total of 420 hours (2 full months) to a completely separate PTO bank that is reserved for serious and/or chronic medical issues OR a future maternity leave. This my first full year in my position, thus making me eligible for this “emergency fund”. While it’s not ideal, I do hope to start a family in the next couple of years and I’m glad to have the option to begin contributing to that now.

Lastly, I would like to thank all the readers who shared their own stories of how they manage to use a large number of vacation days, specially those who pointed out that I have no reason to feel guilty for using the PTO I’ve earned! Re-framing the way I viewed all that time off as part of my overall compensation package (instead of just a whole bunch of days I have the option to use) was incredibly helpful. As I mentioned in the comments, the vacation policy was not discussed while I was interviewing because I was so desperate to get out of food service/retail, so it really did come as quite a surprise.

I’m very much looking forward to my handful of long weekends before the end of this year and a proper week long vacation with my family in 2019!

You may also like:

updates: the mirror gazer, the sick day lie, and more

update: my manager told us we were going to be laid off — but she was wrong

update: I got caught lying about a sick day

updates: the sick leave pressure, the overload of vacation time, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from Ask a Manager http://bit.ly/2ETtrRg

[yogaadvise]

A Celebration of the Unrecognized Caregivers Among Us

I remember the specific minute I received the call from the medical professional that my mother had stomach cancer cells. It was June 2012, I remained in my office and also John Mayer's 'The Heart of Life' was playing behind-the-scenes. The poignant lyrics struck me like a lots of blocks: ' You understand it's nothing brand-new, Problem never had great timing.'

The medical professional said that it was an adenocarcinoma-a word I would certainly never heard. My 67-year-old mommy, who consumed natural, played volleyball every Sunday, danced every weekend and also was among the healthiest people I recognized had actually been diagnosed with an extremely hostile as well as fatal type of cancer. That weekend break, I took an indefinite leave from the bookkeeping firm that I co-owned with my sibling in Washington, D.C. and flew to Gainesville, Florida, to aid my mama recover from surgical procedure and begin chemotherapy. As well as just like that, I ended up being one of the 43.5 million Americans that we don't even recognize exist till we end up being one: A caregiver.

The Household Caretaker Partnership specifies caregivers as anybody providing unsettled aid as well as assistance to relative or enjoyed ones that have physical, emotional, or developmental demands. While most caretakers have the tendency to their aging moms and dads, 14 percent of caretakers treatment for a kid with special requirements. Even more compared to 66 percent of caretakers are ladies, and the average American caretaker is a 49-year-old lady, stabilizing a full-time work and also 20 hours a week caregiving. Millennials (grownups age 18 to 34) comprise virtually 25 percent of all caregivers, as well as are equally as likely to be guys as women. Perhaps most challenged are those in the sandwich generation-adults who will certainly should take care of their children and their moms and dads while working a permanent job.

While prevalent and growing, 15 percent of caregivers don't self-identify as supposed caretakers according to a 2001 AARP research on caretaker recognition. Factors include anxiety of discrimination at the office and also isolation from close friends. By not self-identifying, caretakers run the risk of not completely dealing with the demands of the solution and also missing out on workplace eldercare advantages and practical social programs within their community. I had not even heard the term up until we had left the healthcare facility after my mom's 2nd surgery, and also the doctor suggested we hire an expert caretaker to which I reacted, 'I'll be my mom's caregiver.'

' Preferring to involve in caregiving is equipping,' states Amy Goyer, AARP Household as well as Caregiving professional as well as author of Juggling Life, Job as well as Caregiving. 'Engaged caretakers do not have as lots of remorses because they did every little thing they could, yet equally as vital are the special sensations acquired from caregiving. It's intimate and also extreme, as well as the benefits of the connection developing are amazing. When I would certainly put my mama in bed at night, [and see] the pleased, material, secure view her face, there aren't words.'

Echoing this sentiment is 35-year-old Brian Wilson, whose encounter of relocating back house to live as well as care for his moms and dads was just recently showcased on Human beings of New York, the wildly prominent blog site as well as successful publications including street pictures as well as tales of unfamiliar people. In 2015, he moved from Florida to New Jacket in order to help his mother look after his papa, that is fighting Stage 3 esophageal cancer.

' Although I'm offering, I'm getting far more. The joy of helping them, the reward of hanging out with my moms and dads, the complete satisfaction of them obtaining great care-it suggests everything,' Wilson claims. 'Some days are not the finest day, but I'm so happy for this moment with my moms and dads. The trust and also understanding, it's so deep currently.' Wilson's papa is currently in remission, yet he still faces everyday struggles, such as utilizing a feeding tube.

Goyer and also Wilson know exactly what they're speaking about. I valued those minutes caregiving for my mommy: Looking up a Peruvian lullaby she had sung as a kid and enjoying her eyes light up when we discovered the track on YouTube. Learning exactly how she encouraged her Peruvian employer to lay her off, so she might make use of the $800 joblessness check to arrive to the U.S. As well as just how she would certainly kiss me on the temple when I would certainly leave the health center at night.

Every moment with my mom those last few months felt like breathing. My mom had actually always been lively and also adventuresome about life, yet seeing her at risk and also being able to make things much better for her meant the globe to me. My mother handed down August 14, 2012 quietly in her rest with family by her side. Being her caretaker was one of the most hard as well as essential point I have actually ever before done, and I'm for life happy for the opportunity to have actually returned to the individual that had actually provided me everything.

The encounter altered me permanently, and also in 2013, I left the accounting firm as well as started CareSpotter, a nationwide firm that helps households locate exclusive caregivers directly. I was inspired to launch the company after reviewing a New York Times article about exactly how professional caretaker is the primary most sought-after task in America today, yet they are likewise several of the most affordable paid workers in the nation, making minimum incomes. A year earlier, I may have glossed right over the article, not even signing up the word 'caretaker.' Today, we have actually altered lives at CareSpotter, raising access to budget-friendly home-care to families while likewise producing living wage tasks for expert caretakers. I recognize my mommy would certainly have been proud.

Caregiving might be unpreventable for many, yet you could determine whether it is a concern. 'To me, it's the cycle of life,' Goyer states. 'My parents dealt with me, currently I'm taking care of them. And it's an honor.' Caregiving could be an amazing trip, yet it has its challenges. According to a study from the National Family Caretaker's Association, caretakers are 51 percent most likely to be sleep-deprived. A 2012 Metlife research found that HALF of caretakers report eight added health care visits on their own annually, as well as they struggle with the signs of depression at two times the price of the general populace. I bear in mind caregiving's toll being both enormously physical as well as psychological, and while you may not always be your initial concern any longer, it is necessary to keep your health and wellness so you could be there for your loved one as well as yourself.

Here are three essential ways to keep tension in check so you could be fully present to enjoy-and draw out the joy-in a loved one throughout a hard time.

# 1. Maintain knowing and asking questions.

' Education and learning of the loved one's condition plays a big duty in caregiver satisfaction,' states Gail Quest, CEO for the National Alliance for Caregiving. 'The much less confident they really feel in their expertise of the liked one's condition, the more liable they might really feel if something goes incorrect.' Contact the Area Company on Aging for a reference to a local companies addressing particular conditions like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's or dementia.

For hard abilities, like avoiding succumbs to older adults or the best ways to carry out an insulin shot, YouTube is a wonderful resource. Websites, like CareAcademy.com, also offer video training for household caretakers. One amazing team my mom as well as I joined was Immerman Angels, which combined my mama with a cancer cells survivor for support and also comments. Her coach was an useful seeming board and also supporter throughout hard times. We located Immeran Angels and other terrific resources with Livestrong.org, a significant oncology source navigator.

# 2. Preserve and build new relationships.

Many caretakers withdraw from partnerships when they really feel no person recognizes their situation, which could cause a spiral of isolation as well as clinical depression. 'If your identification is concluded just in caregiving, it could be difficult to shift after it's done,' Goyer advises. Support vital connections that value your caretaker responsibilities. Inspect out sources like Caregiver.com for neighborhood support teams, and also research the website PatientsLikeMe.com for disorder specific support system to share resources and tips.

I signed up with a Facebook group called 'Belly Cancer Warriors' for support and comments from other caretakers experiencing the exact same circumstance as me. We were able to share opinions on therapies, medications and alternate treatments, and, most importantly, we sustained each other. On days when no one else can perhaps understand, the participants of that group could, and also they were constantly approving no matter now adverse or aggravated I felt. I still join the group today, sustaining new as well as old members alike.

#3. Practice self-care.

' That's a term I 'd never ever heard prior to caregiving,' Wilson states. 'I believe it's vital now however, I want much more caretakers would certainly do more self-care.' Caretakers frequent circumstances of some type of suffering and threat empathy exhaustion and exhaustion. An excellent caregiver is sensitive to their enjoyed one's demands when faced with suffering, but a terrific caretaker discovers equanimity so they're aware of their loved ones requirements without tackling the adverse effects.

Self-compassion could be as basic as stating day-to-day self-affirmations, such as 'You're doing a remarkable task,' and also 'You're making great decisions.' Additionally, it's critical to take special time for yourself to reenergize as well as treat on your own. I love health and fitness, as well as did workouts where I would certainly sweat profusely like power yoga exercise, or I 'd swim, where I might be alone with my ideas in a physical fitness mode. Many studies have shown that exercise or basic walking releases endorphins as well as various other stress battling, happy-time chemicals in your brain, which not only reduces the discomfort of workout, yet likewise produces a feeling of euphoria and positivity. I did it since I simply felt a load much better, and also it's something my mommy would tell me to do.

For selection, take a look at ClassPass.com, which imitates a membership to various physical fitness workshops in your area, consisting of yoga and team courses. Directly, I chose working out with others to striking the fitness center alone because having a teacher inform me just what to do took me out of my own go to a little bit, permitting my mind to relax so that I might be totally existing for my mommy when she needed me most.

[sudsybear]

Jealousy

Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby

 Words & Music by Billy Austin & Louis Jordan

 I got a gal that's always late

Every time we have a date

But I love her

Yes I love her

I'm gonna walk right up to her gate

And see if I can get it straight

Cause I want her I'm gonna ask her

 Is you is or is you ain't my baby?

The way you're actin' lately makes me doubt

Yous is still my baby-baby

Seems my flame in your heart's done gone out

 A woman is a creature that has always been strange

Just when you're sure of one

You find she's gone and made a change

 Is you is or is you ain't my baby

Maybe baby's found somebody new

Or is my baby still my baby true?

 Postmark Sep –6 ’85, Cincinnati, OH

  3:45

 Dear Susan,

What a conversation we just had!

Ok, here are my thoughts:

 Other people thoughts

I’m not sure why I am so insecure, but I need to be CONSTANTLY reminded that you really care about me. If I know that, I can wait forever for you. I’m frustrated as hell because I have NO female contact outside of you and my mother.

 There are 3 girls in all of my classes put together. All of them have boyfriends, and don’t talk to other guys much. You have lots of guys to talk to, and that’s nice. I don’t have any female friends here right now, and it sucks! In the right environment, I turn into a true “social butterfly,” but this is not that environment. I really don’t want to “go out” with anyone else, but I sure would like someone to talk to until 3:00 A.M. on Saturday nights!

 On to the Cheery stuff!

 I’m about to record some more Pat Metheney for you and Roz to jam out to.

 I decided that I like my course schedule.

There was no way I could have stayed until Tuesday before. Now, maybe. More time for some projects (Pinto) too.

 I got 2 letters today, not just 1.

I got your map, too.

 Your letters aren’t as silly as they used to be! Did you know that?

 Be Thilly!

 I love you! Talk to you on Sunday.

 Love,

 Ross

  I tested out of the required basic writing course, and applied to participate in the new “Freshman Ventures” program. I still took an English course, but by design the professor coordinated with the professor of the Philosophy course, and the same group of students took both classes. In theory, we were to become a close group to share and espouse ideas that related to both classrooms. To complement English and Philosophy, I signed up for calculus and an art class, drawing and painting. Fortunately, no class started before 9:30. I couldn’t hack getting up early; I’d never make it to class! Calculus was an evening course, and my art class was held once a week on Friday afternoons.

 My floor-mates were friendly, intelligent, and well-meaning. Since we were from all over the country, the variety was fun. We laughed while comparing experiences. But being away from home was hard and I wasn’t doing it very well. I assumed others were coping just fine – they seemed happy with their college choice, enjoying the classes, projecting a confidence and self-discipline I lacked. If they felt homesick, they suffered privately, whereas I wore mine on my sleeve. I missed familiarity. I missed inside jokes. We did not yet have a “common” in our community.

 Already I suffered extreme mood swings; happy and bubbly one minute, I crashed hard and felt tired and miserable soon after. I missed Ross desperately. I wanted him with me, or I wanted to be home. Home, with a car at my disposal to drive where I wanted, when I wanted. Home where I knew North from East and South from West. On campus, my orientation was all mixed up; I used to know that south was the Ohio River, which flows East to West. Here in Rochester the river flows north to the lake. It really had me all befuddled. Such a simple thing had me so disoriented – I still haven’t figured out the north-south continental divide that must exist in the mountains of Pennsylvania and New York.

 My letters weren’t silly? Imagine that – look back at your own letters, Ross. His letters weren’t always silly – he mocked his own loneliness, and tried drowning his own emotions in music. Besides, he rarely answered any of my letters his first semester away from home. Granted, we weren’t dating then, but two years later, I was only gone two weeks and he had already received three letters and numerous phone calls. Had he forgotten what it was like?  

 Weirdness. Earlier in the summer, Ross and I discussed sex often enough. Ross was my only experience and his challenging confession of enjoying cross-dressing unnerved me. No, he definitely was not homosexual, nor even transsexual. We enjoyed each other too much for that to ever be in doubt. But he took great pleasure in wearing women’s clothing. In retrospect, I realize it was a harmless fetish, one that I might have warmed up to and enjoyed. But with my inexperience and naivete, the news was devastating. I took his fantasies as an affront to my own sexual identity. How dare he find satisfaction elsewhere? Didn’t I satisfy his pleasures? I incorporated a sense of inadequacy into my being. Somehow his harmless fantasies, deviances I believed then, were a result of something I did wrong.

 It was a difficult issue that we lacked the maturity to address properly. It’s not like that was a topic covered in our junior high school health classes. “Harmless sexual fetishes that can enhance or destroy a relationship; cross-dressing, fellatio, bondage, sex toys, and the role of pornography in bedroom sex.” I’m sure our public school teachers would have been very comfortable discussing that in the classroom with pre-pubescent animals. (note sarcasm, please) Of course I had no experience, so no sexual reference to compare. Ultimately his fetish weighed in on later decisions. Would I ever be able to accept his differences? Would he? Would I ever be able to embrace them? I just didn’t know.

 I appreciated the tape. It was one of the ones I re-discovered in the months following his death, finally buying the CD to replace the worn copy made all those years ago. But at the time, no one I encountered was familiar with the music of Pat Metheny, and they didn’t seem to be particularly interested either. What fun is music if you can’t share it? I choo-ed a lot, which no one understood at all. I did or said something dum and choo-ed, allny. Nobody got it. Had to break that habit, didn’t I?

 I missed Ross. I missed being with him. I missed our comfort together. I really looked forward to Ross’ visit. Tell me again, why did I leave? Why did Ross let me go? Why didn’t he fight to keep me home?

 *          *          *

 I looked up Yellowjacket Day in an old yearbook at the University library. I remember the warm late summer afternoon, the leaves just starting to tinge yellow. Certainly the green was dark and tired. Floor-mates and I wandered over to the quad where the carnival was set up with a midway of sorts, games of skill, games of chance. The Greek quad was full of beer swilling parties. Unfamiliar professors and staff swarmed campus with their families. The folks I went with weren’t excited about the few rides – Scrambler, Octopus and Ferris Wheel, but even so, we told each other we enjoyed the distraction. I returned to my dorm room and sat on the radiator and stared down on the construction, wallowing in how different everything was. Yellowjacket day was no school May Fete. I thought about Ross and how he was likely working on the Pinto.

 Postmark 10 Sep 1985, Cincinnati, OH

 Tuesday

9-10-85

 Dear Susan,

           Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Right now I’m sitting in the customer service waiting room at the Sears Automotive Center, waiting for them to replace the battery on the Olds. A headache provoking situation.

           Last night I left class early because I felt like crap and I had my program done. I was driving up I-75, trying to figure out where to go since I really didn’t want to go home, so I went up to Miami to see Julie and Valli. Valli had called (on your recommendation (?)) me early (9:00?) yesterday because she was really bumming about school, as I guess you probably know. Well we had a good talk, and I was able to get back home about 10:30, so my parents never knew the difference! My Dad would have been really pissed. He’s getting on my nerves!

           I miss you much much much (!) and cannot wait for the 19th (Thursday) which is when I’ll leave. I’ll get into Roch. Around 6:40, and leave Sunday around 11:25 a.m. (UGH!) That was the latest flight on Sunday.

           Enclosed: some comics, Remember This? (picture) Then we went to Denny’s and the next day couldn’t find the Visa!

I love you Much Much!

Talk to you soon (hopefully).

 Love,                                        

BOK                                      

Or (depending on mood.)      

Ross                                        

 I love you soozin-X!

 “I’m sitting in the customer service waiting room at the Sears Automotive Center, waiting for them to replace the battery on the Olds. A headache provoking situation.”  Without a doubt, sitting and waiting for a technician to replace a battery on a vehicle that Ross was perfectly able to do on his own for less cost, was certainly a headache-provoking situation. But had Ross done it himself, his father would have hit the roof. How miserable Ross must have been at Wooster, can only be understood once you knew that staying home and enduring such directives from a domineering father was an improvement.

 And Valli, poor desperate Valli. Under the thumb of her domineering mother, Valli was self-destructing. Her roommate Julie tried to help, but had to concentrate on her own challenges. And how do you help a friend whose mother was blackmailing her daughter emotionally and financially. “You will take chemistry, if you do not, you will have to re-pay all the tuition we’ve paid.”  “You will pledge a sorority, if not, you will have to re-pay all the tuition we’ve paid.” And when counseling was sought, the family chose a “Christian Counselor” who told Valli to “Honor her father and mother”. Valli, once vibrant and independent, with an interest in biology and physical education, now has her PhD in Nutrition, just like her mother. If women were called “junior” such would be Valli’s fate. I was glad Ross went to see her. She needed a familiar face and a non-judgemental shoulder to lean on. I just wished Ross could make the same trip to see me.

 Denny’s…if we ate at Denny’s once, Ross and I ate there fifty times. I think he liked it because it was open twenty-four hours. At one a.m. after the late movie we could order breakfast, lunch or dinner – depending on our mood. I asked for a glass of water, no ice, and could substitute onion rings for French fries. Of course there was always dessert.

 Mom mailed me my voter registration card. Dad was up for election again. He wanted me to vote for him, so had Mom send me the paperwork to get an absentee ballot. My first chance to vote, and I’m voting absentee! Roz was intrigued at the prospect. The ballot arrived in a manila envelope at my post office box. I carried it across campus, and sat down at my desk in our room and read the various races. So-and-so for judge, county commissioner, then I punched out the holes with the stylus provided with the voting kit. Roz was fascinated that my parents had followed through for me to vote. She looked through the materials, intrigued. We talked about my Dad being councilman in our little suburb. Her dad is a psychiatrist, an overeducated MD/PhD, not “just a PhD.” I walked back over to the post office the next day and mailed my ballot in the envelope provided by the Board of Elections. It wasn’t even a “fun” election that year – no presidents to vote for, no senators, just local politics. I couldn’t even pretend to argue politics with anyone.

 Supposedly I went to college to take classes and learn stuff, academics and all that, but I was lost. Assigned to an advanced calculus class based on my SAT scores, they didn’t know I kick butt on standardized tests, but that didn’t mean crap. First, calculus was an evening course. Three hours one evening each week. The professor was Jewish, and that year class nights fell on all the Jewish holidays so we had a TA more often than the professor. The TA was no help; he barely spoke English. When the professor was teaching, he loved to talk, but I had no clue what was going on. He was enthusiastic about the subject, but I was lost. Sigh. My philosophy class was kind of cool, though. And my English class was okay, except the professor really wanted to be back teaching at the far superior University of Chicago, instead of in the provincial town of Rochester. How did we know? He informed us of this on a regular basis. It became a class joke. Clearly we had all erred in our decision to attend the University of Rochester; University of Chicago was a superior place to be.

 Other students were taken aback by my nonchalance toward English. They all had these “sit in the classroom and take notes” English classes for years, and didn’t know how to speak up and challenge the instructor. Lucky me, with an odd twist of school district teaching assignments, I had Bob Moses for five consecutive years. (For Honors English in Eighth Grade, Oral Communications as a freshman, an advisor sophomore year, English again junior year and senior year...well that year he got a little too chummy with one of our classmates. Their friendship passed the acceptable parameters of appropriate Student-Teacher relations, and he was encouraged to find employment elsewhere. Our classmate dropped out of school, earned her GED very quickly, and enrolled early at the University of Cincinnati.)  I hadn’t taken a note in English class since junior high school. You read, you gab, you write an opinion paper. Spelling and grammar didn’t count, only your ideas were important. Did you have an original thought? Did you carry it through? Did you learn something from the text? Write it down as best you can. I’m one of the few who knew how to participate in that class, if only I did the reading. Usually, I bluffed my way through the fifty minutes.

 I settled into a routine – classes, lunch, occasionally I was awake in time for breakfast. One of the guys on the floor had to eat dinner incredibly early because he had a lab at 5:15. Every afternoon Stephen Paul watched Thundercats at 4 o’clock, then at 4:30 we hiked up the hill en masse to have dinner. By 10:30 we were hungry again, so ordered pizza or wings or both and went broke. The up side of this program was that we were always the first in line at the dining center before the food got gross. The meal of the day was still edible, you might even say tasty. But Roz and I ate dessert first, because no one told us not to! Away from home, no one told us how or what to eat, so let’s have ice cream, THEN the entrée. Now I know where the Freshman Twenty come from – ice cream and alcohol.

 Marvin, friendly and outgoing and a real sweetheart, his job at the dining center, while it used to be a cashier, was to slide the ID cards through the reader to deduct the money from dining center accounts. He only swiped my meal card half the time. Heck, he only swiped half the cards half the time! This was a blessing because after a short while many of us had no money left whatsoever. Every once in a while his supervisor watched him slide the cards through the reader. Those of us in line groaned silently over the supervisor’s presence…and mentally re-calculated the amount of money left on our dining center accounts. Marvin’s gentle and caring demeanor helped him become a campus celebrity, and we invited him to participate in floor events.

 Remember those food tricks? Crunching Wint-o-green Lifesavers (try it at home!) and dropping chocolate chips from your nose to your mouth? Another fun one is raisins in 7-Up. Pour yourself a glass of 7-Up (Sprite will work, too) no ice, and drop a few raisins in. Not a lot – no more than say, four or five at most. Then, watch them rise and fall as the carbonation collects in the crevices of the raisin – the raisin rises to the top, the carbonation bubbles burst, and the raisin drops to the bottom of the glass. It’s a fun game. I taught my floor-mates that one in the dining center one afternoon. We laughed and giggled and pondered “How does that work?” The physics types talked about bubble formation and tensile strength and how massive an item could be and still be lifted up by carbonation bubbles. I shook my head wondering, “Just enjoy the thrill of the raisin – why analyze? How geeky are these people, anyway?” Pretty geeky on a geek-meter scale, it turns out. That was an “up” for the gang at school.

 *          *          *

 Stephen Paul took me through my first drive-through car wash. At home, Dad and I washed the cars in the driveway. Dad or I dragged out the hoses and buckets, added soap (dishwashing liquid usually), hosed down the car, filled the buckets, grabbed sponges and started washing. When I was little, it was my job to scrub the hubcaps, wheel-wells, headlights, front grille and anything below the striping on the side of the car. As I grew, I “graduated” to hood and trunk duty as well. Dad had a chamois cloth to dry off the car, and on occasion he pulled out the Turtle Wax to shine, shine, shine. (Occasionally I was handed the Bug and Tar remover and a rag to attack the chrome.)  While he waxed, I washed windows using a spray-bottle of Windex and a roll of paper towels. Inside and outside, and the rearview and side view mirrors I wiped those windows clean.

 Windex changed over the years. Early on, it was the fun foam, I sprayed words and smiley faces on the windows, then wiped them away as they slid down the glass. The foam was replaced by the blue stuff in a ho-hum spray bottle – which wasn’t nearly as fun. Finally, if we were really serious, we dragged out the Shop-vac to vacuum the seats and carpets. But a drive-through car wash? What a concept!

 One afternoon I was with Stephen Paul for whatever reason, avoiding homework and desperate for a change of scenery. We stopped at the El Rancho Gaseteria and filled his tank with gasoline, and then got in line to drive his Land Yacht through the Delta Sonic car wash. He maneuvered the car onto the conveyor, we entered the tunnel and the water started spraying the car. As the conveyor belt pulled us forward through the car wash, pink white and blue colored foam drenched the car, including the windows and windshield. Then the brushes started spinning against the sides, the hanging strips of sponge swept over the hood, roof and trunk. Finally we were pulled through to the rinse cycle where hundreds of sprayer nozzles showered the car clean. The blowers then whistled the water off the car with a force that blew the windshield wipers up off the glass. The plastic curtain opened, the conveyor released the car, and we coasted toward the vacuum station. The car was clean! For five bucks in less than five minutes. MAGIC! Can we do that again?

 *          *          *

 Construction continued outside my dorm room window. I watched as workmen climbed down in the trenches, checking pipes of various sorts. I presumed they were the water pipes and gas lines and sewer lines and electrical service. Trucks pulled up with loads of PVC, copper and lead pipe. Then men in hardhats and steel-toed workboots unloaded the trucks and stacked the various sizes, kinds of pipe next to the trench that would eventually be the new roadway. Bulldozers were brought in to remove what used to be a grass island. I found it more interesting than the reading that had been assigned in my English and philosophy classes. And certainly more understandable than the homework that was supposed to be Calculus but might as well have been ancient Sumerian for all I understood.

 I was so excited to see Ross, and have him meet my new friends, and know what I’m talking about when we spoke on the phone together. I missed his smell, his taste, his sense of humor. People here just didn’t get it. Allny.

[cstesttaken]

How to Do an Online Giveaway That Doesn’t Suck – SEO NYC & Digital Marketing

Who doesn’t want something for free?

It’s a very enticing proposition.

Some of my best business-boosting hacks have taken place when I’ve offered something free.

I’ve given away free tools, free software, free headphones, free trips, free cash, and hundreds of free resources.

And hardly anyone will turn down a free gift, discount, etc. when it’s bestowed upon them with no strings attached.

proves that an online giveaway can have a profound impact on your marketing campaign.

More specifically, they found that one-third of entrants will agree to receive information from brands and partners:

On top of that, they found that new campaigns acquire a 34% audience increase on average:

But I’ll be honest. There’s a lot that goes into a successful online giveaway.

There’s more to it than throwing something together, slapping up a prize, and expecting people to sign up in droves.

It doesn’t work that way.

The last thing you want to do is create an online giveaway that sucks. This can end up detracting from your brand.

Online giveaways have been around as long as the Internet has existed. And, let’s be honest, people are kind of tired of cheap and scammy giveaways.

In fact, a lot of people think giveaways are dead.

But are they? I’m not convinced. Why? Because I still use giveaways to generate massive traffic and huge amounts of revenue!

What I’d like to do now is walk you through the process of setting up an online giveaway.

I’d also like to offer some tips I’ve learned along the way so you don’t make the same mistakes I did.

Determine your specific goal

Before you can figure out the logistics of your campaign, you must first decide what you’re trying to accomplish.

Here are some examples of common campaign goals:

Get new email subscribers

Increase social media engagement

Get more social media followers

Increase blog engagement

Get more backlinks

Knowing your specific goal will dictate the specific approach you take later on.

Choose a prize

Coming up with an idea sounds pretty straightforward.

But I feel this is an area where a lot of brands drop the ball.

One of the main mistakes I often see is giving away something irrelevant to the industry.

Please. Can we stop with the iPads already?

What you want to do is offer a gift that represents you.

For instance, Airbnb might offer a free stay at an awesome location:

A clothing brand might offer a free t-shirt.

An outdoor gear company might give away a sleeping bag or tent.

Why is this so important?

If you’re gathering email addresses as part of the online giveaway, you want to ensure you’re getting people who represent your demographic.

Otherwise, you’ll have a junk list of unqualified leads who will probably never convert when you attempt to move them through your sales funnel later on.

Make the prize match the entry

Here’s something else to consider.

Some entry requirements are quick and easy, e.g., liking a post on Facebook.

Others are more long-winded and laborious, e.g., filling out several forms of questions, submitting a photo, and so on.

I suggest choosing a prize that matches the level of effort it requires to enter.

After all, offering a mediocre prize for completing an arduous entry process may result in very few entrants.

In other words, as an article from Wishpond states, “The prize value should always be equal to the effort required to win it.”

Consider bundling items

Wishpond also makes another interesting point.

They say offering a bundle of items can have a bigger impact than offering only one item.

It seems that a bundle is deemed higher value (even if it’s not, necessarily) than one single item. Plus more variety appeals to a wider audience.

This logic makes sense to me.

Most people have a tendency to think more is better.

So, even if you offer three gifts that combined are worth less than a single gift, the perception would still be that the three gifts are of a higher value (even if they’re not).

This isn’t to say that you have to follow this formula, but it’s definitely food for thought and could help you increase your number of entrants.

Consider offering multiple prizes

What are the odds of winning a giveaway with only one grand prize?

And people know this. They won’t jump through a bunch of hoops just to enter a contest where the chances of winning are slim to none.

But when there are prizes for first place, second place, and third place, the odds of winning increase a bit.

I suggest you offer smaller prizes for runner-up entrants in addition to the grand prize.

This makes people feel like they do have a chance, and even if they don’t win the grand prize, they can still get something.

I’ve found this to serve as motivation for people to sign up.

Contest duration

Okay, so you’ve got a goal, and you know what prize you’re going to offer.

The next thing to determine is how long your giveaway will last—its duration.

Now, there can be a huge variation in terms of duration.

But , the best duration for your campaign is either 25 or 60 days:

Research has found that these two lengths of time are the “sweet spots,” allowing you to get the maximum number of applicants.

But if it’s your first campaign and you’re still getting your bearings, I would definitely suggest sticking with 25 days initially.

Go any longer, and you might minimize the impact because some entrants may forget about the giveaway.

There’s a fine line between too short and too long. You’ll be able to pick the right duration based on how much exposure your giveaway has.

Create an epic landing page

Design plays an integral role in just about every element of marketing and branding.

And it’s no exception when it comes to your giveaway’s landing page.

But I realize that me telling you to create an epic landing page is a loaded statement.

Here are a few specific traits of a great giveaway landing page:

It’s simple

It thoroughly explains what it takes to enter and what the prize is

It’s easy to understand

It contains high-quality images

People can enter quickly and easily

Now, let me provide you with a few examples.

Example #1 from Startup Pirates

Example #2 from Cadence Watch

Example #3 from Cocoon Spa

Gather the right information

Here’s a biggie: choosing which information to ask for from entrants.

You need to proceed with caution here because this can often make or break your campaign.

On the one hand, the more info you ask for, the more effort it takes for someone to enter and the fewer entrants there will be.

On the other hand, you want to ensure you’re getting adequate info so that you can effectively enter giveaway participants into your sales funnel.

How much is too much info to ask for?

Let’s take a look at what Kontest found:

As you can see, no one has an issue providing their email address.

And most are totally fine giving their first and last names.

But once you start getting to age, country, and address, the number of entrants drops off significantly.

The bottom line is that you should ask only for the most important information you’re legitimately going to use.

Otherwise, getting too personal and requiring too many steps can scare off many would-be entrants.

Make a big announcement about the winner(s)

A lot of time and energy goes into creating an online giveaway.

You want to make a big deal about the winner and put the spotlight on them.

I suggest asking them to take a photo with your product and posting it on your social media accounts.

This serves as added brand exposure and lets other entrants know that the giveaway was legit.

Both of which should help you build more buzz if you decide to create another online giveaway in the future.

Choosing a platform

There’s one last and extremely important detail.

Which platform should you use to run your online giveaway?

Although there are several different options to choose from, there are two in particular that I recommend.

It’s fairly easy to use, and it integrates with most major social networks.

It’s also super customizable and makes it simple to incorporate great looking pictures.

I love the fact that Gleam is fully responsive, which is crucial for keeping mobile users happy.

In fact, you can increase your number of by running a mobile contest.

The second platform is Rafflecopter, which, according to its site, is “the world’s easiest way to run a giveaway.”

It’s also user-friendly and customizable.

Even if you have zero experience with online giveaways, you can usually get one up and running quickly.

Conclusion

I love online giveaways and think that when done correctly, they can rev up your marketing.

Just think about it. An online giveaway kills multiple birds with one stone.

Get great brand exposure

Build your audience

Establish brand advocates in the people who win your giveaways

And when you think about the money you would spend on other marketing techniques, such as paid advertising, you’re usually getting more bang for your buck with this strategy.

It’s usually a win-win situation.

But quite frankly, the strategy you devise is equally as important as the prize itself.

You need to cover all your bases and ensure you’re offering a prize that people actually want and that will motivate them to enter.

Once you’ve got that covered, the rest should fall into place.

Have you ever experimented with an online giveaway?

Source

https://seonycdigitalmarketing.wordpress.com/2017/04/07/how-to-do-an-online-giveaway-that-doesnt-suck/

[likefusion]

How to Do an Online Giveaway That Doesn't Suck: Who doesn't want something for free? It's a very enticing proposition. Some of my best business-boosting hacks have taken place when I've offered something free. I've given away free tools, free software, free headphones, free trips, free cash, and hundreds of free resources. Free is amazing. And hardly anyone will turn down a free gift, discount, etc. when it's bestowed upon them with no strings attached. Research from Kontest proves that an online giveaway can have a profound impact on your marketing campaign. More specifically, they found that one-third of entrants will agree to receive information from brands and partners: On top of that, they found that new campaigns acquire a 34% audience increase on average: That's pretty serious. But I'll be honest. There's a lot that goes into a successful online giveaway. There's more to it than throwing something together, slapping up a prize, and expecting people to sign up in droves. It doesn't work that way. The last thing you want to do is create an online giveaway that sucks. This can end up detracting from your brand. Online giveaways have been around as long as the Internet has existed. And, let's be honest, people are kind of tired of cheap and scammy giveaways. In fact, a lot of people think giveaways are dead. But are they? I'm not convinced. Why? Because I still use giveaways to generate massive traffic and huge amounts of revenue! What I'd like to do now is walk you through the process of setting up an online giveaway. I'd also like to offer some tips I've learned along the way so you don't make the same mistakes I did. Determine your specific goal Before you can figure out the logistics of your campaign, you must first decide what you're trying to accomplish. Here are some examples of common campaign goals: Get new email subscribers Increase social media engagement Get more social media followers Increase blog engagement Get more backlinks Knowing your specific goal will dictate the specific approach you take later on. Choose a prize Coming up with an idea sounds pretty straightforward. But I feel this is an area where a lot of brands drop the ball. One of the main mistakes I often see is giving away something irrelevant to the industry. As I said before in another guide on Quick Sprout, not every contest should consist of an iPad giveaway. Please. Can we stop with the iPads already? What you want to do is offer a gift that represents you. For instance, Airbnb might offer a free stay at an awesome location: A clothing brand might offer a free t-shirt. An outdoor gear company might give away a sleeping bag or tent. You get the idea. Why is this so important? If you're gathering email addresses as part of the online giveaway, you want to ensure you're getting people who represent your demographic. Otherwise, you'll have a junk list of unqualified leads who will probably never convert when you attempt to move them through your sales funnel later on. Make the prize match the entry Here's something else to consider. Some entry requirements are quick and easy, e.g., liking a post on Facebook. Others are more long-winded and laborious, e.g., filling out several forms of questions, submitting a photo, and so on. I suggest choosing a prize that matches the level of effort it requires to enter. After all, offering a mediocre prize for completing an arduous entry process may result in very few entrants. In other words, as an article from Wishpond states, “The prize value should always be equal to the effort required to win it.” Consider bundling items Wishpond also makes another interesting point. They say offering a bundle of items can have a bigger impact than offering only one item. It seems that a bundle is deemed higher value (even if it's not, necessarily) than one single item. Plus more variety appeals to a wider audience. This logic makes sense to me. Most people have a tendency to think more is better. So, even if you offer three gifts that combined are worth less than a single gift, the perception would still be that the three gifts are of a higher value (even if they're not). This isn't to say that you have to follow this formula, but it's definitely food for thought and could help you increase your number of entrants. Consider offering multiple prizes Let's be real. What are the odds of winning a giveaway with only one grand prize? Pretty microscopic. And people know this. They won't jump through a bunch of hoops just to enter a contest where the chances of winning are slim to none. But when there are prizes for first place, second place, and third place, the odds of winning increase a bit. I suggest you offer smaller prizes for runner-up entrants in addition to the grand prize. This makes people feel like they do have a chance, and even if they don't win the grand prize, they can still get something. I've found this to serve as motivation for people to sign up. Contest duration Okay, so you've got a goal, and you know what prize you're going to offer. The next thing to determine is how long your giveaway will last—its duration. Now, there can be a huge variation in terms of duration. But according to Kontest, the best duration for your campaign is either 25 or 60 days: Research has found that these two lengths of time are the “sweet spots,” allowing you to get the maximum number of applicants. But if it's your first campaign and you're still getting your bearings, I would definitely suggest sticking with 25 days initially. Go any longer, and you might minimize the impact because some entrants may forget about the giveaway. There's a fine line between too short and too long. You'll be able to pick the right duration based on how much exposure your giveaway has. Create an epic landing page Design plays an integral role in just about every element of marketing and branding. And it's no exception when it comes to your giveaway's landing page. It needs to pop. But I realize that me telling you to create an epic landing page is a loaded statement. Here are a few specific traits of a great giveaway landing page: It's simple It thoroughly explains what it takes to enter and what the prize is It's easy to understand It contains high-quality images People can enter quickly and easily Now, let me provide you with a few examples. Example #1 from Startup Pirates Example #2 from Cadence Watch Example #3 from Cocoon Spa Gather the right information Here's a biggie: choosing which information to ask for from entrants. You need to proceed with caution here because this can often make or break your campaign. On the one hand, the more info you ask for, the more effort it takes for someone to enter and the fewer entrants there will be. On the other hand, you want to ensure you're getting adequate info so that you can effectively enter giveaway participants into your sales funnel. How much is too much info to ask for? Let's take a look at what Kontest found: As you can see, no one has an issue providing their email address. And most are totally fine giving their first and last names. But once you start getting to age, country, and address, the number of entrants drops off significantly. The bottom line is that you should ask only for the most important information you're legitimately going to use. Otherwise, getting too personal and requiring too many steps can scare off many would-be entrants. Make a big announcement about the winner(s) A lot of time and energy goes into creating an online giveaway. You want to make a big deal about the winner and put the spotlight on them. I suggest asking them to take a photo with your product and posting it on your social media accounts. This serves as added brand exposure and lets other entrants know that the giveaway was legit. Both of which should help you build more buzz if you decide to create another online giveaway in the future. Choosing a platform There's one last and extremely important detail. Which platform should you use to run your online giveaway? Although there are several different options to choose from, there are two in particular that I recommend. The first is Gleam. It's fairly easy to use, and it integrates with most major social networks. It's also super customizable and makes it simple to incorporate great looking pictures. I love the fact that Gleam is fully responsive, which is crucial for keeping mobile users happy. In fact, you can increase your number of entrants 8x by running a mobile contest. The second platform is Rafflecopter, which, according to its site, is “the world's easiest way to run a giveaway.” It's also user-friendly and customizable. Even if you have zero experience with online giveaways, you can usually get one up and running quickly. Conclusion I love online giveaways and think that when done correctly, they can rev up your marketing. Just think about it. An online giveaway kills multiple birds with one stone. You can: Get great brand exposure Increase social media and blog engagement Build your audience Establish brand advocates in the people who win your giveaways And when you think about the money you would spend on other marketing techniques, such as paid advertising, you're usually getting more bang for your buck with this strategy. It's usually a win-win situation. But quite frankly, the strategy you devise is equally as important as the prize itself. You need to cover all your bases and ensure you're offering a prize that people actually want and that will motivate them to enter. Once you've got that covered, the rest should fall into place. Have you ever experimented with an online giveaway? http://bit.ly/2pfQppQ

[reverseskydives]

How to Do an Online Giveaway That Doesn’t Suck

Who doesn’t want something for free?

It’s a very enticing proposition.

Some of my best business-boosting hacks have taken place when I’ve offered something free.

I’ve given away free tools, free software, free headphones, free trips, free cash, and hundreds of free resources.

Free is amazing.

And hardly anyone will turn down a free gift, discount, etc. when it’s bestowed upon them with no strings attached.

Research from Kontest proves that an online giveaway can have a profound impact on your marketing campaign.

More specifically, they found that one-third of entrants will agree to receive information from brands and partners:

On top of that, they found that new campaigns acquire a 34% audience increase on average:

That’s pretty serious.

But I’ll be honest. There’s a lot that goes into a successful online giveaway.

There’s more to it than throwing something together, slapping up a prize, and expecting people to sign up in droves.

It doesn’t work that way.

The last thing you want to do is create an online giveaway that sucks. This can end up detracting from your brand.

Online giveaways have been around as long as the Internet has existed. And, let’s be honest, people are kind of tired of cheap and scammy giveaways.

In fact, a lot of people think giveaways are dead.

But are they? I’m not convinced. Why? Because I still use giveaways to generate massive traffic and huge amounts of revenue!

What I’d like to do now is walk you through the process of setting up an online giveaway.

I’d also like to offer some tips I’ve learned along the way so you don’t make the same mistakes I did.

Determine your specific goal

Before you can figure out the logistics of your campaign, you must first decide what you’re trying to accomplish.

Here are some examples of common campaign goals:

Get new email subscribers

Increase social media engagement

Get more social media followers

Increase blog engagement

Get more backlinks

Knowing your specific goal will dictate the specific approach you take later on.

Choose a prize

Coming up with an idea sounds pretty straightforward.

But I feel this is an area where a lot of brands drop the ball.

One of the main mistakes I often see is giving away something irrelevant to the industry.

As I said before in another guide on Quick Sprout, not every contest should consist of an iPad giveaway.

Please. Can we stop with the iPads already?

What you want to do is offer a gift that represents you.

For instance, Airbnb might offer a free stay at an awesome location:

A clothing brand might offer a free t-shirt.

An outdoor gear company might give away a sleeping bag or tent.

You get the idea.

Why is this so important?

If you’re gathering email addresses as part of the online giveaway, you want to ensure you’re getting people who represent your demographic.

Otherwise, you’ll have a junk list of unqualified leads who will probably never convert when you attempt to move them through your sales funnel later on.

Make the prize match the entry

Here’s something else to consider.

Some entry requirements are quick and easy, e.g., liking a post on Facebook.

Others are more long-winded and laborious, e.g., filling out several forms of questions, submitting a photo, and so on.

I suggest choosing a prize that matches the level of effort it requires to enter.

After all, offering a mediocre prize for completing an arduous entry process may result in very few entrants.

In other words, as an article from Wishpond states, “The prize value should always be equal to the effort required to win it.”

Consider bundling items

Wishpond also makes another interesting point.

They say offering a bundle of items can have a bigger impact than offering only one item.

It seems that a bundle is deemed higher value (even if it’s not, necessarily) than one single item. Plus more variety appeals to a wider audience.

This logic makes sense to me.

Most people have a tendency to think more is better.

So, even if you offer three gifts that combined are worth less than a single gift, the perception would still be that the three gifts are of a higher value (even if they’re not).

This isn’t to say that you have to follow this formula, but it’s definitely food for thought and could help you increase your number of entrants.

Consider offering multiple prizes

Let’s be real.

What are the odds of winning a giveaway with only one grand prize?

Pretty microscopic.

And people know this. They won’t jump through a bunch of hoops just to enter a contest where the chances of winning are slim to none.

But when there are prizes for first place, second place, and third place, the odds of winning increase a bit.

I suggest you offer smaller prizes for runner-up entrants in addition to the grand prize.

This makes people feel like they do have a chance, and even if they don’t win the grand prize, they can still get something.

I’ve found this to serve as motivation for people to sign up.

Contest duration

Okay, so you’ve got a goal, and you know what prize you’re going to offer.

The next thing to determine is how long your giveaway will last—its duration.

Now, there can be a huge variation in terms of duration.

But according to Kontest, the best duration for your campaign is either 25 or 60 days:

Research has found that these two lengths of time are the “sweet spots,” allowing you to get the maximum number of applicants.

But if it’s your first campaign and you’re still getting your bearings, I would definitely suggest sticking with 25 days initially.

Go any longer, and you might minimize the impact because some entrants may forget about the giveaway.

There’s a fine line between too short and too long. You’ll be able to pick the right duration based on how much exposure your giveaway has.

Create an epic landing page

Design plays an integral role in just about every element of marketing and branding.

And it’s no exception when it comes to your giveaway’s landing page.

It needs to pop.

But I realize that me telling you to create an epic landing page is a loaded statement.

Here are a few specific traits of a great giveaway landing page:

It’s simple

It thoroughly explains what it takes to enter and what the prize is

It’s easy to understand

It contains high-quality images

People can enter quickly and easily

Now, let me provide you with a few examples.

Example #1 from Startup Pirates

Example #2 from Cadence Watch

Example #3 from Cocoon Spa

Gather the right information

Here’s a biggie: choosing which information to ask for from entrants.

You need to proceed with caution here because this can often make or break your campaign.

On the one hand, the more info you ask for, the more effort it takes for someone to enter and the fewer entrants there will be.

On the other hand, you want to ensure you’re getting adequate info so that you can effectively enter giveaway participants into your sales funnel.

How much is too much info to ask for?

Let’s take a look at what Kontest found:

As you can see, no one has an issue providing their email address.

And most are totally fine giving their first and last names.

But once you start getting to age, country, and address, the number of entrants drops off significantly.

The bottom line is that you should ask only for the most important information you’re legitimately going to use.

Otherwise, getting too personal and requiring too many steps can scare off many would-be entrants.

Make a big announcement about the winner(s)

A lot of time and energy goes into creating an online giveaway.

You want to make a big deal about the winner and put the spotlight on them.

I suggest asking them to take a photo with your product and posting it on your social media accounts.

This serves as added brand exposure and lets other entrants know that the giveaway was legit.

Both of which should help you build more buzz if you decide to create another online giveaway in the future.

Choosing a platform

There’s one last and extremely important detail.

Which platform should you use to run your online giveaway?

Although there are several different options to choose from, there are two in particular that I recommend.

The first is Gleam.

It’s fairly easy to use, and it integrates with most major social networks.

It’s also super customizable and makes it simple to incorporate great looking pictures.

I love the fact that Gleam is fully responsive, which is crucial for keeping mobile users happy.

In fact, you can increase your number of entrants 8x by running a mobile contest.

The second platform is Rafflecopter, which, according to its site, is “the world’s easiest way to run a giveaway.”

It’s also user-friendly and customizable.

Even if you have zero experience with online giveaways, you can usually get one up and running quickly.

Conclusion

I love online giveaways and think that when done correctly, they can rev up your marketing.

Just think about it. An online giveaway kills multiple birds with one stone.

You can:

Get great brand exposure

Increase social media and blog engagement

Build your audience

Establish brand advocates in the people who win your giveaways

And when you think about the money you would spend on other marketing techniques, such as paid advertising, you’re usually getting more bang for your buck with this strategy.

It’s usually a win-win situation.

But quite frankly, the strategy you devise is equally as important as the prize itself.

You need to cover all your bases and ensure you’re offering a prize that people actually want and that will motivate them to enter.

Once you’ve got that covered, the rest should fall into place.

Have you ever experimented with an online giveaway?

from Social Media Marketing http://ift.tt/2nlNuj1 via Social Media Marketing

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How to Do an Online Giveaway That Doesn’t Suck

Who doesn’t want something for free?

It’s a very enticing proposition.

Some of my best business-boosting hacks have taken place when I’ve offered something free.

I’ve given away free tools, free software, free headphones, free trips, free cash, and hundreds of free resources.

Free is amazing.

And hardly anyone will turn down a free gift, discount, etc. when it’s bestowed upon them with no strings attached.

Research from Kontest proves that an online giveaway can have a profound impact on your marketing campaign.

More specifically, they found that one-third of entrants will agree to receive information from brands and partners:

On top of that, they found that new campaigns acquire a 34% audience increase on average:

That’s pretty serious.

But I’ll be honest. There’s a lot that goes into a successful online giveaway.

There’s more to it than throwing something together, slapping up a prize, and expecting people to sign up in droves.

It doesn’t work that way.

The last thing you want to do is create an online giveaway that sucks. This can end up detracting from your brand.

Online giveaways have been around as long as the Internet has existed. And, let’s be honest, people are kind of tired of cheap and scammy giveaways.

In fact, a lot of people think giveaways are dead.

But are they? I’m not convinced. Why? Because I still use giveaways to generate massive traffic and huge amounts of revenue!

What I’d like to do now is walk you through the process of setting up an online giveaway.

I’d also like to offer some tips I’ve learned along the way so you don’t make the same mistakes I did.

Determine your specific goal

Before you can figure out the logistics of your campaign, you must first decide what you’re trying to accomplish.

Here are some examples of common campaign goals:

Get new email subscribers

Increase social media engagement

Get more social media followers

Increase blog engagement

Get more backlinks

Knowing your specific goal will dictate the specific approach you take later on.

Choose a prize

Coming up with an idea sounds pretty straightforward.

But I feel this is an area where a lot of brands drop the ball.

One of the main mistakes I often see is giving away something irrelevant to the industry.

As I said before in another guide on Quick Sprout, not every contest should consist of an iPad giveaway.

Please. Can we stop with the iPads already?

What you want to do is offer a gift that represents you.

For instance, Airbnb might offer a free stay at an awesome location:

A clothing brand might offer a free t-shirt.

An outdoor gear company might give away a sleeping bag or tent.

You get the idea.

Why is this so important?

If you’re gathering email addresses as part of the online giveaway, you want to ensure you’re getting people who represent your demographic.

Otherwise, you’ll have a junk list of unqualified leads who will probably never convert when you attempt to move them through your sales funnel later on.

Make the prize match the entry

Here’s something else to consider.

Some entry requirements are quick and easy, e.g., liking a post on Facebook.

Others are more long-winded and laborious, e.g., filling out several forms of questions, submitting a photo, and so on.

I suggest choosing a prize that matches the level of effort it requires to enter.

After all, offering a mediocre prize for completing an arduous entry process may result in very few entrants.

In other words, as an article from Wishpond states, “The prize value should always be equal to the effort required to win it.”

Consider bundling items

Wishpond also makes another interesting point.

They say offering a bundle of items can have a bigger impact than offering only one item.

It seems that a bundle is deemed higher value (even if it’s not, necessarily) than one single item. Plus more variety appeals to a wider audience.

This logic makes sense to me.

Most people have a tendency to think more is better.

So, even if you offer three gifts that combined are worth less than a single gift, the perception would still be that the three gifts are of a higher value (even if they’re not).

This isn’t to say that you have to follow this formula, but it’s definitely food for thought and could help you increase your number of entrants.

Consider offering multiple prizes

Let’s be real.

What are the odds of winning a giveaway with only one grand prize?

Pretty microscopic.

And people know this. They won’t jump through a bunch of hoops just to enter a contest where the chances of winning are slim to none.

But when there are prizes for first place, second place, and third place, the odds of winning increase a bit.

I suggest you offer smaller prizes for runner-up entrants in addition to the grand prize.

This makes people feel like they do have a chance, and even if they don’t win the grand prize, they can still get something.

I’ve found this to serve as motivation for people to sign up.

Contest duration

Okay, so you’ve got a goal, and you know what prize you’re going to offer.

The next thing to determine is how long your giveaway will last—its duration.

Now, there can be a huge variation in terms of duration.

But according to Kontest, the best duration for your campaign is either 25 or 60 days:

Research has found that these two lengths of time are the “sweet spots,” allowing you to get the maximum number of applicants.

But if it’s your first campaign and you’re still getting your bearings, I would definitely suggest sticking with 25 days initially.

Go any longer, and you might minimize the impact because some entrants may forget about the giveaway.

There’s a fine line between too short and too long. You’ll be able to pick the right duration based on how much exposure your giveaway has.

Create an epic landing page

Design plays an integral role in just about every element of marketing and branding.

And it’s no exception when it comes to your giveaway’s landing page.

It needs to pop.

But I realize that me telling you to create an epic landing page is a loaded statement.

Here are a few specific traits of a great giveaway landing page:

It’s simple

It thoroughly explains what it takes to enter and what the prize is

It’s easy to understand

It contains high-quality images

People can enter quickly and easily

Now, let me provide you with a few examples.

Example #1 from Startup Pirates

Example #2 from Cadence Watch

Example #3 from Cocoon Spa

Gather the right information

Here’s a biggie: choosing which information to ask for from entrants.

You need to proceed with caution here because this can often make or break your campaign.

On the one hand, the more info you ask for, the more effort it takes for someone to enter and the fewer entrants there will be.

On the other hand, you want to ensure you’re getting adequate info so that you can effectively enter giveaway participants into your sales funnel.

How much is too much info to ask for?

Let’s take a look at what Kontest found:

As you can see, no one has an issue providing their email address.

And most are totally fine giving their first and last names.

But once you start getting to age, country, and address, the number of entrants drops off significantly.

The bottom line is that you should ask only for the most important information you’re legitimately going to use.

Otherwise, getting too personal and requiring too many steps can scare off many would-be entrants.

Make a big announcement about the winner(s)

A lot of time and energy goes into creating an online giveaway.

You want to make a big deal about the winner and put the spotlight on them.

I suggest asking them to take a photo with your product and posting it on your social media accounts.

This serves as added brand exposure and lets other entrants know that the giveaway was legit.

Both of which should help you build more buzz if you decide to create another online giveaway in the future.

Choosing a platform

There’s one last and extremely important detail.

Which platform should you use to run your online giveaway?

Although there are several different options to choose from, there are two in particular that I recommend.

The first is Gleam.

It’s fairly easy to use, and it integrates with most major social networks.

It’s also super customizable and makes it simple to incorporate great looking pictures.

I love the fact that Gleam is fully responsive, which is crucial for keeping mobile users happy.

In fact, you can increase your number of entrants 8x by running a mobile contest.

The second platform is Rafflecopter, which, according to its site, is “the world’s easiest way to run a giveaway.”

It’s also user-friendly and customizable.

Even if you have zero experience with online giveaways, you can usually get one up and running quickly.

Conclusion

I love online giveaways and think that when done correctly, they can rev up your marketing.

Just think about it. An online giveaway kills multiple birds with one stone.

You can:

Get great brand exposure

Increase social media and blog engagement

Build your audience

Establish brand advocates in the people who win your giveaways

And when you think about the money you would spend on other marketing techniques, such as paid advertising, you’re usually getting more bang for your buck with this strategy.

It’s usually a win-win situation.

But quite frankly, the strategy you devise is equally as important as the prize itself.

You need to cover all your bases and ensure you’re offering a prize that people actually want and that will motivate them to enter.

Once you’ve got that covered, the rest should fall into place.

Have you ever experimented with an online giveaway?

from Quick Sprout http://ift.tt/2nSMSxr from Blogger http://ift.tt/2nmmSy8 April 07, 2017 at 08:36PM