#And indicative of the darker themes at play in this series). It's just a nice change of pace and a chance for Armstrong to shine as a

[darkmasterofcupcakes]

DHMIS Review: TV Episode 1, Jobs

First off, this is going to be fairly long since these reviews are kind of like a mix of an actual review and just me sharing my thoughts on certain points of the shorts/episodes. And while I usually don’t have quite enough thoughts on the shorts to warrant a read more, I am going to do that for the TV episodes, just because those are like, up to almost 3 times longer than some of the shorts, so I’m going to usually have more to say just by default. The review proper will be under the cut,

Was I the only one who was kind of shocked the first time they played this episode and actually heard a proper theme song? I guess I probably should have expected it, since while this show is obviously much darker and definitely not for the same target audience, it often feels like it’s meant to invoke the feelings of a children’s show, albeit a twisted one. And children’s shows usually do have some kind of theme song. But I love how the theme song not only changes a bit each episode, but even the verses that always stay the same....don’t really tell you too much about anything? Basically all the song tells you about the main characters or the show is that there’s three of them, and they do...stuff together. It is still a pretty nice-sounding song. The Students never really sang much in the shorts so you never really get the ability to appreciate the fact that they actually harmonize pretty well together. 

Why does it amuse me so much that Red Guy apparently went through the trouble of actually writing “Nothing” on each of the “time slots” for the day? Then again, considering how bothered he seems to be later about “Nothing Day” being cancelled, maybe he did that to celebrate the fact that they had nothing planned.

Going into this show, the one thing I did not expect was for Duck to have such an ego, but it took all of five minutes for me to just fully accept that this guy genuinely thinks he’s the best of the three main characters. Though, considering how I usually feel about characters with huge egos, I guess that does explain why he’s my least favorite Student...but the fact that I still love him says so much about how good the writing and acting is for this show. 

Anyone else get reminded of how the Healthy Band got introduced with the way Briefcase was brought into things? Just in how there’s no indication that he was there at all until one of the other characters actually acknowledges him, then it kind of acts like he was there the whole time? Though Red’s reaction is more like how he responded back when they first met Tony in the shorts...and his follow up of asking why they didn’t get breakfast makes me feel like he would have shut down the Healthy Band almost immediately. “If we’re hungry, we’ll get something to eat. Bye.”

As someone who hates when others make decisions for me, I kind of get annoyed by Duck telling Briefcase to get them all jobs, despite the fact that Red had shown literally no issue with the fact that they had nothing planned? Again, just another reason why he’s the main character I probably like the least.

Speaking of Duck, I feel like between the shorts and episodes, I need to start keeping a tally of how often his voice is clearly auto-tuned, especially when it comes to singing? Because I swear there’s no real rhyme or reason to when they let the actor just use the Duck voice normally, and when they auto-tune it. Also, the fact that he apparently supports cryptocurrency feels like it says so, so much....

The first character from the TV show that stole my heart - Unemployed Brendon. What can I say? I love me some gremlins and this little briefcase just screams “gremlin” to me. Plus I just feel bad for him, having to get dragged around to sing a song about how much he sucks compared to his younger brother (though, the bit of dialogue at the end honestly makes me have to double check that he’s not the Briefcase’s son...even though I almost feel like that’d fit even more with the dark comedy this series often has). But, seriously, someone tell Brendon about how you can self-publish nowadays - he deserves to get his novel out there.

I didn’t notice until I saw it brought up on TV Tropes, but apparently the reason Duck’s attempt at making a bit or part failed because one of his feathers got caught in it and...brought it to life? No idea what actually happened, but I am glad that Andy put it out of it’s misery because that thing seemed to just exist in a state of agony. 

If I had a nickel for every time I can remember one of the main guys either getting hit on or feeling like they’re hitting on one of the sentient objects, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. But, seriously, how else are we supposed to take how the fax machine talks to and compliments Red Guy? 

Is the cigarette being included in the meal just supposed to be a joke about how often employees take smoke breaks, or is it a reference to the ‘healthy shape” back in the fifth short, that actually included cigarettes as a food group? With this series, I’d believe either. 

Not sure which is more concerning - the fax machine suggesting that Red Guy could have someone killed because he’s the boss at the company, or the garbage bin just screaming at him to fire the whole world. Or the fact that the bin screams “Fire the whole world!” after the fax machine suggests that Red Guy could have someone killed. Probably that last one. 

As someone who’s worked in retail, I can say that those sorts of videos are things that they do show to new workers, and if anything, the one they show Duck watching might actually make more sense than some of the ones I know have been shown to different workers in real life. I wish I could say I was joking.

Apparently if there’s one thing Duck should have learned by now, it’s that him picking up phones only leads to horrible things happening to him. Though, to be honest, considering how much he apparently wanted to leave, I’m not really sure how much he should be bothered by the fact that he got fired? Maybe he’s more bothered by the fact that the other two are apparently staying, since I feel like that’s the main reason he hadn’t just left almost immediately. I also just noticed that in the box of “Duck’s” things is the cactus that flips everyone off from the first short. Nice little call back to where it all began.

Not sure what the bathroom scene was supposed to be about? Like, I honestly feel like that might be the biggest “What?” moment of the whole episode to me, just because it just felt...random? Especially the part with the urinal apparently going out for a smoke break? What?

The second song in this episode is one that is like...I can’t really see myself listening to it when I’m not watching the episode, but I feel like it grows on me a little more each time I hear it? Though I do kind of love how what seems to snap Duck out of it enough for him to actual interrupt the song is him being made into a cube...which looks like it belongs in Angry Birds. If that wasn’t intentional, it’s even more hilarious.

Does anyone know what’s supposed to have happened at the end? Like, is the idea that time only passes inside the workplace/for the workers, and since Duck was fired time was frozen for him and it only started moving again when he got hired again and lost his memory? 

Anyone else think about the fact that the whole reason things go so horrifically wrong in the end is because of Duck? I mean, yeah, it’s not amazing that it seems like Red and Yellow aged so much in what feels like no time at all to Duck...but they both seemed to be happy? We don’t see much of Yellow and Claire together, but from the little we see, they seemed to be happy together and when everything is reset, the poor guy sounds genuinely distraught upon realizing his child is just...gone? Things only got really dark when Yellow got into the accident, and he only got into the accident because Duck threw his card onto the belt because he (Duck) wasn’t happy with how things had gone?

Favorite joke of the episode? “Do something!” “You’re fired!” “Not that!” 

I love how they all actually react to when everything gets reset after Duck finds the Briefcase again. Kind of fitting that Yellow is the one in therapy. He probably is the one that needs it the most, especially considering later episodes imply he might actually remember events from previous episode (timelines?), at least vaguely. 

So, first episode of the TV show, how does it hold up? I’d probably give it a 4 out of 5? It probably feels the most like the shorts to me, which makes sense in some ways because I feel like for the first episode, you’d want to have it feel familiar enough to draw in returning viewers. But, at the same time, the fact that it feels so much like the shorts does take some points off for me, just because of the length? It’s still a really fun episode, but in some ways, it feels just a bit stretched out? Also, I don’t really love the “Jobs” song, besides the little part with Brendon, and the part with the free vending machine always kind of grosses me out, so the highest I can give this episode is a 4/5.

[starring-movies]

Killing Eve: In Depth Analysis

*SPOILERS*

First Introduction to Villanelle

1x01 - Nice Face

The episode begins with a pre-title sequence in an ice cream shop in Vienna. This is our very first introduction to Villanelle and perfectly sets her character up, as well as the tone of the show.

The first shot we see of her is from behind. She has a brunette wig on that is hiding her natural honey blond hair and wearing clothes, which we soon find out is a disguise from a recent kill. The fact that we do not see her face immediately, but first meet her from the back and in disguise, already shows us her mystery and inaccessibility - something Eve later makes a remark on when describing Villanelle in Season 1 Episode 3. It is also interesting to note the choice to show us Villanelle in disguise as the first introduction to her character. We are being manipulated as an audience in the same way as Villanelle manipulates those around her.

As hair is a big theme in Killing Eve, and could even be seen as a character in its own right, something used to show us Villanelle and Eve’s emotional vulnerability amongst other things. Having Villanelle covering up her natural hair with the wig hints towards the emotional guardedness which we will see she has throughout the series.

In hindsight Villanelle’s casualness of going to have ice cream following what we later find out was completing a kill, illustrates her nonchalance and confidence in her ability as an assassin, as well as her remorselessness for what she does.

In this initial frame she is also shot central and alone, the rest of the characters in the scene aren’t revealed yet, from this we are shown her solitude and isolation from others - which we later see to be true as she has no friends or family. The closest person to her is Konstantin, who never stays to keep her company despite her asking him to before she goes to Tuscany.

The scene draws a number of similarities between Villanelle and the little girl:

- Both are eating bowls of ice cream.

- They are sitting directly opposite and facing each another. (as if mirroring one another)

- They are sat in the same position, their left arm resting on the table with their right hand holding the spoon.

- In the shot of Villanelle shown above, the little girl’s reflection in the dessert cabinet is shown in frame making it look like they’re next to each other.

The parallels of Villanelle to the little girl is an indication to Villanelle’s childish streak, which is a big part of her character and something we see continually throughout the series. It also ties into Villanelle’s journey to find belonging and her desire to find her family after she was left in an orphanage at a young age, which is explored later in Season 3. This is especially evident in Episode 5 of Season 3 where Villanelle’s mother, Tatiana, tells her to clean the tomato paste off her face and says to her “you’re not a child” to which Villanelle replies that she “want[s] to feel like one”.

As the scene continues we watch Villanelle observing the little girl sitting opposite her and she makes an attempt to smile at her. But her smile was not perceived as genuine or with emotion and so is not returned by the girl.

We then watch as the young man behind the counter of the ice cream parlour smiles at the little girl and she returns his smile. Villanelle sees their interaction and observing the young man’s expression mimics it; she smiles with her teeth and eyes this time and the girl connects with Villanelle’s new smile and smiles back.

This interaction, although small, shows us Villanelle’s inability to connect effectively with other people’s emotions. But it also shows her chameleon-like nature and ability to effectively apply the social queues and nuances she sees in her observations of other people’s interactions.

Villanelle then proceeds to clean a spot of blood from her watch, a small detail that indicates there might be something more sinister about her than it seems. She then gets up and leaves the ice cream parlour, knocking the little girl’s ice cream over and giving a smile on her way out.

Perhaps a stretch but the close up of the watch shows that it is an Omega ‘De Ville’. The model name both sounds similar to Villanelle and is reminiscent of Cruella di Vil - known for her cruelty, wealth and fashion - similar to how Villanelle is portrayed.

The knocking over of the ice cream comes as quite a shock for what was previously a fairly mundane scene and subsequently sets up the tone for Villanelle and the series itself, the audience might be expecting one thing but then they get something completely different and surprising. Villanelle’s smile after knocking over the ice cream also serves to show her contrasting personality and specifically the contrast between her seeming childish innocence and cruelty.

This idea of Villanelle’s contrasting personality and the theme of someone’s darkness, which is explored in Villanelle and Eve throughout the show, is also subtly shown through her wardrobe choice. Villanelle is wearing a black and white top, two colours which are complete opposites but are coexisting in this one garment, just as Villanelle’s darkness and light coexists within her (and Eve). However, the top is made from majority black (Villanelle’s darkness) but does have a small bit of white at the shoulders and the middle, indicating the existence of the light in Villanelle and the possibility for her to change, which is something that was explored in Season 3.

This introduction to Villanelle also relates well to the title of the episode, Nice Face. Although the title is taken from a comment Villanelle makes later in the episode when she sees a picture of her next kill, an Italian mafia boss called Cesare Greco, the title is also applicable for Villanelle herself. She is an attractive woman who seems normal and appears to have a ‘nice face’ at surface level, but there is something darker underneath the facade.

The song playing through this scene, ‘Xpectations’ by Unloved, is the perfect choice for our first meeting with Villanelle.

Some lyrics of the song:

“I’ll never live up to your expectations”

“You haven’t a clue who I am”

Both of these lyrics perfectly encapsulates what the whole scene is trying to tell us about Villanelle. She is surprising when you least expect her to be and doesn’t just “live up to” but most likely exceeds any “expectations” that you might have about her. Villanelle is also incredibly unassuming and you’re never quite sure if you’re seeing the real her or just what she wants you to see, a lot of the time we really “haven’t a clue” who she really is.

You can read my following in depth scene analysis of the ‘First Introduction to Eve’ here:

[beneaththetangles]

Reader’s Corner: Demon Slayer, Nerdy Nurse, and Play It Cool, Guys

Date A Live, Vol. 1

Having enjoyed the Date A Live anime, I was curious to check out the source material, and the first volume didn’t disappoint. It’s a high school harem romantic comedy…that takes place in a borderline post-apocalyptic setting full of mystery, absurdity, and tragedy. There are plenty of sweet or humorous moments, but the narrative never lets one forget its darker side. Some regard the “Spirits” (mysterious girls whose extradimensional incursions bring cataclysm) as monsters and try to kill them, but protagonist Shido rejects this in favor of a more peaceful approach. Aided by a bizarre paramilitary group commanded by his little sister, Shido seeks dialogue and coexistence with Spirits. In practice, this means Shido must get to know them, ask them on dates, and get them to fall for him. Shido is a deeply compassionate person, and as one reads of his efforts to save a Spirit — choosing love over death, reconciliation over enmity, forgiveness over resentment, other over self — the Christ parallels practically write themselves. I can’t deny Date A Live is weird, but somehow it works, and the positive themes underlying the story are excellent. I certainly plan to continue reading this series. ~ JeskaiAngel

Date A Live (vol. 1) is published by Yen Press.*

The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya

Seven words: “The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00.” Kyon’s description of the SOS Brigade’s video for the North High cultural festival is the most humorous story in volume six of the Haruhi Suzumiya series, a high point both for this book and the series in general, and by itself makes Wavering a worthy read. The remainder of the volume—if not on the same level as its opening chapter—continues with the unusual brew of school life, romance, comedy, sci-fi, and mystery that makes the franchise special. However, be warned that most of the volume feels mundane, almost like side stories,with nothing much of consequence happening, at least not patently so, until the intriguing final chapter, “The Melancholy of Mikuru Asahina,” which not only functions as a nice bookend to the volume but comes just when it seems that Asahina’s counterpart, Nagato, has received far more attention and character development. It’s fulfilling to read the Asahina-focused material in both stories mentioned—though be warned: You may get knocked flat by an adorable (and possibly dangerous) Mikuru Beam! ~ Twwk

The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya is published by Yen Press.*

Play It Cool, Guys: Vol. 1

This was A LOT of fun! It’s been some time since I chuckled/laughed this much when reading a manga. After finishing, I actually went back and reread some of the pages just so I could laugh again, because I was enjoying it so much! However, Play It Cool, Guys is different than I expected; I didn’t realize that each of the guys are a different age. Considering they are different ages, I wouldn’t have expected for all the stories to really flow in transition as well as they did, but the mangaka does a fantastic job of doing just that! Where one story ended, another began, but without a feeling of being jilted due to a shifting too quickly to a different character’s voice. The colored pages were also AMAZING! The way color enhanced the pages was awesome! And the art of course is gorgeous! I’m really interested in reading the next volume, and know that this will probably become a manga I will read again and again if I need a pick me up or a good dose of laughter. These guys are just hilariously cool! ~ Laura A. Grace

Play It Cool, Guys (Vol. 1) is published by Yen Press.* See a video review by Laura here.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, Vol. 21

Demon Slayer is pain, especially the latter volumes as the series nears its conclusion. Volume 21 opens with the defeat of Upper Rank Kizuki number one but at enormous sacrifice; this immediate rush into highly emotional material indicates how the series, developed for so many chapters, has been and continues to be in its climactic arc, one that’s full of extreme violence, gore, and death. Shades of black cover these pages more than any other previously, indicating how much blood is spilled as the remaining Hashira fight Muzan in what continues to appear to be a losing battle. However, part of the beauty of Demon Slayer is that while it’s full of action and hyper violent, it’s a sensitive story and well-written—these chapters are the very natural output of all that’s occurred before, and as such the chaos is imbued with all that’s come before—a whole lot of heart. Coincidentally, the structure of this volume also feeds into that assessment, starting emotionally, and further, giving readers a chance to mourn for character deaths before progressing to the tenacious action of the middle portion, before closing with a story that functions as important context for the entire manga and presumably for the conclusion, ending this violent volume with a gentle whisper, and reminding us why this series is so very good. ~ Twwk

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba is published by Viz*

Do You Like the Nerdy Nurse?

From a cover like this, I was expecting this to be Nerdy Nurse to be spicy manga that could, potentially, be something I would recommend our readers avoid. I was wrong. Guess judging books by their cover isn’t a great idea. I feel like that should be an expression. Anyway, the titular “nerdy nurse,” Nijiko Momoyama, has all the boys at her school falling head over heels. However, while she loves her students in a maternal sort of way, she has no interest in children romantically. Her primary focus, instead, is on her geeky hobbies. She’s a huge manga, anime, and gatcha gaming otaku. She can’t get enough of it! In fact, one of her students discovers her geeky hobbies and ends up spending a lot of time helping out in the nurses office. It’s obvious he has a crush on her and makes it relatively known from time to time. That said, overall Momoyama is very professional and doesn’t ever give him an indication that she would reciprocate his middle school crush. Overall, she just talks to him as a fellow nerd and, frankly, that’s okay. Volume one was cute and, in answer to the question, yes, I did like the nerdy nurse. ~ MDMRN

Do You Like the Nerdy Nurse? is published by Yen Press.*

The Sorcerer’s Receptionist, Vol. 3

The highlight of The Sorcerer’s Receptionist continues to be its tsundere narrator. Yes, I know tsundere characters are a dime a dozen, and so are light novels with first-person narration, but this is the only light novel I’ve encountered with such a blatantly, amusingly tsundere narrator. It’s entertainingly exasperating hearing protagonist Nanalie’s perspective on the story. The other highlight include how Alois, the guy she deems her archnemesis, continues to practice love toward her. Happily, a big relationship upgrade occurs. My only complaint with this volume is that the obnoxious memory wipe trope rears its ugly head. Thankfully, it does not befall the romantic leads, at least. I usually hate this plot device, have ranted about it before, and hate it here, too. That said, despite my grumbling, I quite enjoyed this volume, and would still recommend this series. ~ JeskaiAngel

The Sorcerer’s Receptionist is published by J-Novel Club.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Campus Apocalypse, Vol. 4

Two down so far for 2021! I have read two different Alternate Universe (AU) Neon Genesis Evangelion manga—the second of these, Neon Genesis Evangelion: Campus Apocalypse, is by volume four beginning to pain the angels as now, basically, vampires. But as the story progresses, more is also revealed about the world setting. It turns out this AU retains the concept of Rei as a clone from the mainline story, but also embraces the concept of an AU multiverse by this, the last volume of the series. I kind of wish it had another volume or two to really finish up the story because by these chapter, Campus Apocalypse was becoming more immersive. The first two volumes were great setups; however, it’s clear the series’ days were numbered as the second two raced to get across the finish line. I could have used a little more before we got there, but it is what it is. ~ MDMRN

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Campus Apocalypse is out of print, but originally published by Dark Horse Comics.

Your Lie in April, Vol. 1

For the month of April I’ve decided to do a reread of Your Lie in April, and let me tell you, I am already glad I have. The artwork from Naoshi Arakawa is gorgeous and incredibly expressive. The first chapter alone provides better introduction and storytelling than some manga accomplish in an entire series. The introduction of Kosei and his first encounter with Kaori is such an amazingly well crafted moment that it continues to stick with me after three watches of the anime and now a second readthrough of the manga. If you want a teenage love story that also tackles topics like depression and abandonment in a very real way, combined with gorgeous art, check out this series, and feel free to join me in reading it in April. ~ MDMRN

Your Lie in April is published by Kodansha.

=====

Reader’s Corner is our way of embracing the wonderful world of manga, light novels, and visual novels, creative works intimately related to anime but with a magic all their own. Each week, our writers provide their thoughts on the works their reading—both those recently released as we keep you informed of newly published works and older titles that you might find as magical (or in some cases, reprehensible) as we do.

[the-record-newspaper]

The Killing of Rhonda Hinson: Part II

Rhonda Hinson and Greg McDowell

(Editor’s Note:  The 1980’s was a violent decade for women in Wilkes and surrounding counties.  At least four young women were murdered between 1981and 1987—their cases remain unresolved:  Rhonda Hinson of Burke County — who has relatives in Wilkes County, Angela Hamby of Wilkes, who disappeared in 1982,  Sherry Hart of Ashe County, and Candy Roberson of Wilkes. This series, “The Killing of Rhonda Hinson” is the second in a trilogy of murder cases that will be detailed in The Record over the ensuing weeks and months — cold cases of crimes perpetrated against women over 30-years ago, whose families await justice and closure.)

 By LARRY J. GRIFFIN

Special Investigative Reporter

I’m really sorry and I apologize for pushing you.  I really lost my temper and I’m sorry for being so stupid…I’m sorry I’m so jealous, but I can’t help it….—Excerpted from a letter Greg McDowell wrote to Rhonda Hinson during their Senior Year, 1981.

 By all appearances, Greg McDowell and Rhonda Hinson were an ideal match.

Born on Feb. 7, 1963 to Rev. Charles and Betty McDowell, Gregory Lynn shared several early commonalities with Rhonda Hinson. Both were born on a Thursday.  He, like her, also came from a family with two children whose birth orders were identical — an older girl and a younger boy — the age variance, in each instance, between the two siblings was virtually the same.  Additionally, his parents came to North Carolina from South Carolina just as the Hinsons had done.  Even their names — whether given or full — had exactly the same number of letters.  

Interestingly, the differences between them seemed to work to the mutual advantage of each:  Greg was an accomplished student and a medium athlete; Rhonda was the accomplished athlete and a medium student.  In one of his many missives addressed to her, Greg noted that even their dissimilarities were, in fact, complementary in nature.  “…I may be better in Math, but you are a better typer [sic] than me.  We both do some things good and some things not so good.”

No one knows for certain when Rhonda Hinson started dating Greg McDowell; however, there is agreement that it must have been in the Fall of their junior year. During the budding romance, Greg had a penchant for sending cards to his new girlfriend; in fact, there were at least nine cards forwarded to Rhonda during the 1979-1980 school year that remain in the possession of her parents.  One American Greetings “get-well” card noted an early milestone in their relationship:  

…Thanks for the happiest 4 months of my life and always remember that I love you!!! Greg  

P.S. We have 82 years and 8 months to go!

 And in a Hallmark card with an Emily Dickinson quote embossed in gold on the front plate, the young McDowell references yet another milestone; he penned:

You’ve given me much happiness over the past 25 weeks.  Keep it up forever!  I will always love you!

Love, Greg

Unable to locate a suitable greeting card to mark their first-year anniversary, Greg fabricated his own:  a booklet of thirteen 3x5 index cards befittingly stitched together with a bright red ribbon.  Then he authored an amorous aphorism:  

Rhonda, After all we’ve done together

Through hot and cold and snowy weather,

There’s something that I just must say,

On this, our very Special Day;

Looking back on what we’ve done,

I’d say we’ve had some fun;

But as we watched some things go wrong,

We found it helped our Love grow strong;

So, I know one day we’ll be,

Together, Forever—‘Just You-n-Me!’

I want to say one more thing, Pup-E,

Happy Anniversary!!!

I Love You!!

Greg

Other cards contained Valentine’s greetings, pledges of lifelong love and devotion, lamentations of pain catalyzed by the absence of the object of his affection, and “get-well” sentiments.  All were thoughtful — even sweet — overtures proffered by a young man clearly and happily smitten, laced with as much chivalry as could be mustered in Burke County in the 1980’s.  

And Rhonda seemed to delight in the attention she was incessantly receiving from her new suitor.  Mother Judy Hinson concurs, “I would say that during the first year that they dated, Rhonda was truly happy.”  

During the couple’s 1980-81 senior year, cards were supplanted by missives written in pencil and ink upon notebook paper. Rhonda apparently kept most of them — over 25 letters and three cards, carefully preserved by her parents. Though these contained similar, repetitive declarations of lifelong love and devotion; the letters were less playfully reflective of young love and gradually resonated a darker tone — becoming increasingly more insistent, more demanding, more desperate, with a foreboding edge.  

Predictably, disagreements between the two young people arose periodically, and indications of these commenced to appear within the lines of Greg’s handwritten notes, though somewhat downplayed.  

Oh guess what?  We forgot to straighten out that big argument that we didn’t have on the phone last night! I am right!  Basketball is not numero uno in my life!  So there!  That settles that.  Quickly changing the subject….

Admitting to having a “bad day” at school at some juncture, Greg writes:

…I’m sorry about while ago.  I didn’t mean to be like that.  I’m just so tired.  I’m really sorry.  I know you don’t feel too well either; so, let’s try extra hard to be nice to each other, OK?  Thanks for understanding (if you do)…I’m really sorry I was like that while ago.

PS. Come at 6:00 unless you here [sic] from me.  We’ll get some supper if you want any. I will be hungry.

Almost imperceptible at first, the letters began to assume an austere tone, indicative of more pervasive upheavals.  

Rhonda…I am not eating lunch today; I’m sitting where we were at break today and I’m writing you this letter.  It’s kind of hard to hold back the tears; so, if this paper is wet, you will know why. I just can’t imagine us not being together and when I think of it, I go to pieces.  I want you to know that I love you now and I always will love you. I never want to hurt you and I would never intentionally hurt you.  I’m sorry, very sorry about the things I said…I want you to know that I didn’t mean it. I want us to go on like we were and forget about this.  I love you very much and I don’t want this or anything else to pull us apart.  

I know I make lots of mistakes; but, I try so hard to make you happy….All I ask in return is love and understanding…Please forgive me when I make you mad and try to think about the good things I do for you…I really do love you and I’m sorry I hurt you, really.

 The tenor of Greg’s notes and letters recommends to suspicion that he was becoming increasingly frustrated by Rhonda’s ostensible lack of reciprocity.  He would take the time — even class time when he was bored — throughout the day to write a note to be hurriedly delivered to Rhonda as he passed her in the hallway, while en route to other classes and activities that the two did not share. Periodically, he relied upon the “Mercury” services of a friend to discreetly pass along his impromptu messages, garnering little — if any — response from the girl he loved.  

“Rhonda just wasn’t that type of girl — she wasn’t very demonstrative of feelings,” Judy Hinson recollected.  “In fact, she was very private about them.  She wouldn’t even cry in front of us — and she hardly ever said, ‘I love you.’”

Perhaps Greg failed to understand that predilection or felt that he could somehow motivate Rhonda to become more responsive to him.  It is not surprising that he began to vent his frustration within pointed paragraphs:

…From now on, I’m not going to mention anything about you writing me a note at lunch. It’s up to you, anyway, and I can’t do anything about it.  If you want to write something you will and if you don’t you won’t.  But I’m not saying I don’t care, because I do care and I want you to write but I can’t make you.  So, it’s up to you…From 8:20 – 3:03, I see you every bit of 25 minutes…So, please understand why I want you to write during lunch. Ok?

With each passing day of the senior year, Greg McDowell seemed to grow more insecure about the relationship he had with Rhonda Hinson.  His increased uncertainty triggered a proportional surge of jealousy that commenced to subtly surface.  In one postal script appended to a note he admonishes, “Don’t flirt with the customer’s [sic] at work.”  But during one full-blown jealous conflagration, Greg became physically aggressive for which he later apologized — in a letter, of course:

Dear Rhoda,

I’m sorry and I apologized for pushing you. I really lost my temper and I’m sorry for being so stupid.  Please forgive me. Really, I’m sorry for pushing you. I just lost my temper. Please understand. I love you and you can do anything you want to me to get me back. I deserve it. I’m sorry I’m so jealous, but I can’t help it.  When I read the part about ‘love ya’ and ‘wish I’d gotten to know you a lot sooner’ and ‘see you at work this summer’ and ‘play tennis with you this summer,’ I naturally got upset. I hope you don’t care for him. If you don’t you shouldn’t mind me beating his ass.  

I love you,

Greg

In a series of reflective recollections that Judy Hinson penned on notebook paper, she proffered this observation:  “I think [Rhonda] enjoyed Greg’s being jealous and possessive [at first] but then I think she had gotten tired of his demanding to know everything she did — where she went, who she talked to — everything.”

One of the recurring themes articulated through the letters of Greg McDowell was his desire for Rhonda to return to being her ebullient, insouciant self subsequent to an argument or misunderstanding. Several times he cajoles her to be happy, to smile, and to be glad to see him.  In one of his short missives, Greg reassures Rhonda that he loves her and that it hurts him to see her “sad, upset, or worried.”  Then he appends a poignant postal script:  

“You’d better be happy and smile and be your usual self tonight or I’ll shoot you with my shotgun!”

Rhonda Hinson had approximately12 months to live.

[douxreviews]

True Detective - ‘The Hour and the Day’ Review

“I wanna know the whole story.”

The fourth True Detective episode usually features a big action scene that solidifies the halfway point in the story. The harrowing one-shot sequence in season one. The relentless shooting spree in season two. This is more of a prelude to this season's intense powder-keg separating the first half of the story from the second. It's another way that this new story toys with paying lip service to what came before while contenting itself with being its own thing.

What this does instead is take its sweet time in fleshing out what exactly is going on in each of the three timelines and the states of the characters as they exist within each of those eras. It sets the stage for what comes next in the season, while also being character and dialogue heavy. It also takes more time to explore the themes of the season, which I especially enjoyed.

Racial Divide

The issue of race is finally examined, which I feel the show has been dancing around until now.

I felt it was always in the background, noticeable in the lingering, guarded or just suspicious looks that are directed at Wayne Hays, the black detective in rural Arkansas. I've noticed it from the very first episode. Some people don't realize that prejudice is not always overt. In fact, I'd say a majority of it goes understated or unspoken, in that Travis Bickle sort of way.

The thing is most of the people who regard Hays in this way probably aren't even malicious about it, or would even consider themselves racist; I know people like this. You've got ones like state prosecutor turned Attorney General Daryl Kent who clearly looks down on Hays with this smug, dismissive superiority. Then you've got people like Mrs. Faber who will maintain politeness but always see him as an other, holding that look of thinly veiled fear and suspicion. Then there's guys like Tom Purcell, who'll drop racial slurs in moments of anger or frustration and then quickly feel ashamed; that reaction exists somewhere in their upbringing, but they know it's wrong.

No matter the shade in which it presents itself, there's no doubt it sticks in the craw of men as dignified as Hays.

Or men who aren't, as displayed when Hays and West pay a visit to Sam Whitehead, a possible lead on the one-eyed black man who bought the ominous dolls. Was his immediate rabble-rousing and accusations of racial profiling and witch-hunts just a natural reaction from an old black man who has experienced decades of injustice from white cops, or was it an easy way of avoiding direct answers to the questions he was asked? It's not entirely clear.

The hectic encounter with Whitehead and the other residents of that local ghetto did highlight the nuanced dynamic between Hays and West, which I've enjoyed throughout this season. While clearly a bit of a good ole' boy, West does not seem prejudiced. He even seems rather progressive for a man of his era, region and occupation, given his deep respect for his partner and stony admonition of Tom for his aforementioned drunken insult toward Hays. And Hays, while constantly on his toes about the racial divide between them, seems to recognize West's empathic quality, even enjoys it when West jokingly needles him about this sensitivity. It's another reason I dig this partnership, that understanding between two no-nonsense individuals.

Another character who appears not to be clouded by the resident race elephant is the priest at the Catholic church attended by the Purcells. Although West distrusts him on account of being a priest -- which would make even more sense today than in 1980 -- the man is very helpful in organizing his congregation to aid the detectives. He seems sincere in his assessment of Will and Julie and he hopes Hays, a former altar boy, would be open to confession. Nice guy, but there were certain things about his scenes that made me wonder if he might be involved in what happened to the kids.

Couples Counseling

More personal than societal, but equally important are the various relationships we are faced with in this story. It's heavily suggested that they have quite a bit of bearing on what's going on.

The big one is Wayne and Amelia's relationship. The contrast between their blossoming romance in 1980 and their rocky marriage in 1990 is very striking. We first see that the later stage is marred by feelings of resentment from Wayne and accusations of inadequacy from Amelia, despite the love they still share. After ten years, they've become worn down by the flaws and neurotic tendencies they seemed so excited about discovering at the start of their romance.

The first dinner date between Hays and Amelia was certainly the best scene in the episode. It was very cute, even sexy in a surprisingly subtle way. And their dialogue back and forth was just wonderful. Despite being so different in terms of background, occupation, politics and temperament, there was an instant chemistry that both recognized. Almost like these two people who each claim to have never wanted marriage or kids saw in each other the possibility of a future together in this first foray into intimacy.

Initially, though, there's Tom and Lucy Purcell. A couple whose furiously tumultuous marriage bred an unhappy family life, which may have played a factor in their children's secretive meetings with mysterious strangers and their eventual abduction.

Amelia gains an insight into this as she tries to comfort the distraught Lucy, and ends up getting the feeling that Lucy might be hiding something and ends up getting cursed out by the latter thanks addressing it. Not a very good first attempt at junior detective work, but she may have just unearthed a clue without realizing it. Lucy claimed that "Children should laugh", the same phrase included in the cryptic letter sent by Julie's abductor. Either Lucy was just wistfully acknowledging the logic of that message or it could be that she had something to do with what befell her children. It's still ambiguous.

As for Tom, we get to see the beginning of his and West's odd friendship as West gives the heartbroken Tom a place to stay away from his sad home. It's another indication that West is a naturally empathetic person, despite occasionally coming off as a hardass. Though it might be that his empathy has dampened somewhat in the years since.

It's a shame that the 1980 dynamic between Hays and West doesn't return when Hays is brought on board the task force of the second Purcell case ten years later. A shame, but realistic. No way the dynamic is the same after Hays got the shaft and West became the successful, award-winning career lawman who shook hands with young, pre-controversy Bill Clinton. And the fact that Hays, lead detective on the original case, is now expected to follow West's lead doesn't help. No-nonsense or not, old friends or not, pride asserts itself. To put it bluntly, dicks will inevitably be measured and pissing contested.

Haunted Houses

Now let's get more cerebral. The first season's tagline was "Touch darkness, and darkness touches you back", vey Nietzsche-like. That seems to be a constant theme throughout this series. The ways in which human horror and trauma can have dramatic effects on a person's sense of self and their reality. How they might serve as some explanation of what we see as the spiritual, supernatural and even paranormal.

It's introduced well-enough. Tom and Lucy Purcell feel trapped in their house, the place where the kids, the only thing that united them, were raised. Tom can't stay there, broken by their absence. And Lucy seems to stay in it as self-imposed prison for her failings as a mother. A disturbing situation where the place that is meant to be home feels more like hell.

The Hays household experiences a similar phenomena later, which Old Hays admits. He came to believe his unending obsession with the case infected Amelia and their children, sullying their chances at a stable, happy family. That he ended up cursing them with his own restless demons.

This takes on what could be a more literal meaning as Old Hays finds himself reminiscing on the past at the same time he struggles to beat back the ghosts in his mind. It's an incredibly haunting scene, watching him struggle to grasp the memories of his life as men he killed in Vietnam (and one caucasian man in a suit) close in and hover over him like phantoms, whispering, accusing. And the show has played so fast and loose with the line between psychologically unhinged experiences and what might be darker forces that exist on the fringes of existence. Rustin Cohle had his drug-induced visions which at times appeared to grant him insights into hidden otherworldly realms. Ray Velcoro's near death experience offered a bizarre yet prophetic glimpse into a possible afterlife. Now Wayne Hays' years of multi-faceted PTSD compounded by dementia conjure menacing ghosts from the past.

"Purple" Hays, indeed.

Escalating Confusion

But themes aside, the more concrete plot points are there as well.

In 2015, a dogged Old Hays enlists his son -- revealed to be an Arkansas State Police detective like his father once was -- in finding West to help him remember the details of the two Purcell cases. To my surprise, he tells Elisa Montgomery in their private meeting that the 1990 case haunts him most of all. Elisa informs him that she and her team of investigators discovered that the skeletal remains of Dan O'Brian, Lucy Purcell's cousin and suspect in both cases, were recently found in a drained quarry after he went missing around the time of the second case.

Which is interesting, because Dan O'Brian was already missing prior to 1990.

But Hays makes a possibly huge development in the second case when he spots a mysterious young woman who could very well be a grown up Julie Purcell on the security footage of the store where her prints were found.

Meanwhile, in 1980, Hays and West end up traumatizing Freddy Burns when his prints are discovered on Will's abandoned bike; I'd totally forgotten him drunkenly riding it at Devil's Den in the first episode.

The detectives and feds are drawn away from this obvious red herring when they catch wind of the redneck lynch mob advancing on Brett Woodard's home, who has prepared for this event with a military arsenal that's sure to deliver on the action spectacle we've all been waiting for.

Bits and Pieces:

* “The Hour and the Day” was co-written by David Milch, creator of Deadwood. This explains why the characters, dialogue and themes felt even richer than usual in this episode. Milch is almost as acerbic and literary as Nic Pizzolato, if not more.

* There's a framed picture of a brunette woman on West's desk in 1990. I'm betting that's Lori, the girl he was putting the moves on at the church.

* Hays sarcastically raising his hand during a briefing was another fun little callback to the first season.

* Not sure if it was explicitly stated before, but Kent, the state prosecutor in 1980, appears to have blatantly used the Purcell case to snag himself the Attorney General office. What a guy.

* Black Sabbath has been around since the late ‘60s. Seems kind of strange that a bunch of men in their 30s act as if it’s some strange new thing in the early '80s. Perhaps its mainstream recognition in my generation is simply coloring my perspective.

* During his ghostly encounter, Old Hays makes note of a dark sedan that is staking out his house.

Quotes:

Amelia (1990): Let go of me, Wayne. Hays (1990): Stop talking shit about me! Amelia (1990): Or what? Hays (1990): … Or I’m gonna start crying. Wasn’t expecting that.

Sam Whitehead: And you. How’re you gonna wear that badge? Hays: It’s got a little clip on it. Ha!

Hays: Can we say this was anonymous vandals? West: We’re not going with irate negroes?

Hays (1990): We ain’t doing any of that shit they just said, right? West (1990): Wasn’t planning on it.

Priest: Would you like to confess now? Hays: I reckon I’ll let it pile up a little more.

Hays: Thing of it is, Father, we’re about ninety percent sure that whoever took Julie or Will are one of yours. Priest: I find it difficult to believe that anyone here could something like that. Hays: They don’t exactly wear a signboard says “psycho killer.”

Four out of five Claymore mines.

Logan Cox

[fullysowerewolf]

Color Meanings with Characters in Biohazard: Part 2; Orange and Yellow

"The color orange radiates warmth and happiness, combining the physical energy and stimulation of red with the cheerfulness of yellow. Orange relates to 'gut reaction' or our gut instincts, as opposed to the physical reaction of red or the mental reaction of yellow.

Orange offers emotional strength in difficult times. It helps us to bounce back from disappointments and despair, assisting in recovery from grief.

The color psychology of orange is optimistic and uplifting, rejuvenating our spirit. In fact orange is so optimistic and uplifting that we should all find ways to use it in our everyday life, even if it is just an orange colored pen that we use.

Orange brings spontaneity and a positive outlook on life and is a great color to use during tough economic times, keeping us motivated and helping us to look on the bright side of life." -    empower-yourself-through-color-psychology.com

There's very few characters in RE that wear or are connected to the color orange. Probably due to orange's positive and bright connections not mixing well with Biohazard's somber horror and high energetic action.

There's at least three characters who do wear orange prominently though. Richard Aiken, Parker Luciani, and Ricardo Irving. 

Richard's character centers around being a nice guy, with his descriptions being, "positive, sweet guy", who, despite his relatively young age, is "surprisingly cool-headed and calm under pressure". He was also described as "always greeting new STARS members warmly" as well.

This is tied into orange's warm and welcoming aesthetic, Richard has a positive attitude and his willingness to help others (Rebecca especially), connects with orange brightening people who see it's day. Offering emotional strength and bouncing back from disappointments is connected with both Richard's backstory of trying to atone for not being there for his sister as well as how he jumps into the line of fire time and again for his teammates. "Gut instinct" goes with this as well. Coincidentally, orange is also the color of communication, and Richard is the one who gives Chris his radio.

Parker is very similar to Richard when it comes to orange's meanings. He remains positive throughout Revelations and even serves as comic relief for Jill's story, serving as the lighter one next to Jill's straight man. He is also described and shown to be warm to his comrades, his friendly nature connected to orange and its ties to encouraging friendship and communication.

Irving fits extremely well Dark Orange's meaning in RE5 and in his character. He also fits regular orange's description of having a sunny disposition and postitive outlook.

"Dark Orange: Dark orange indicates over-confidence and over-ambition. It tries too hard to prove its worth and to boost its self-esteem, but when it fails, which is often, it develops a chip on its shoulder. It is the color of the opportunist, taking selfish advantage of every situation." -  empower-yourself-through-color-psychology.com

Irving selfishly takes advantage of Kijuju's residents to line his pockets by trafficking BOWs. And overall being an opportunist above all things, even working as a co-hort to two people who want to destroy the world, knowledge he is well aware of. His over confidence screw him over and when he takes the plaga he fails and ultimately dies, connecting with dark orange's description on trying too hard.

Albert Wesker's main color is black, however there is much symbolism in his final transformation at the end of 5 with its bright orange pustules.

" Burnt Orange: This color emits a negative vibration indicating pride, tension and aggressive self-assertion.

Dark Orange: Dark orange indicates over-confidence and over-ambition. It tries too hard to prove its worth and to boost its self-esteem, but when it fails, which is often, it develops a chip on its shoulder. It is the color of the opportunist, taking selfish advantage of every situation." -  empower-yourself-through-color-psychology.com

Pride, tension, over-confidence and over-ambition. Being an opportunist, and taking selfish advantage of a situation. These all fit Wesker in spades, even more so his boss fight's theme in the volcano (which is saturated in these orange tones) is named "Deep Ambition". Wesker infecting himself with Uroboros connects with Dark Orange's attempts at boosting self esteem and failing, symbolizing Wesker's desperation in trying to achieve a form that will finally kill Chris and Sheva after having filed to do so previously.

Yellow

"The color yellow relates to acquired knowledge. It is the color which resonates with the left or logic side of the brain stimulating our mental faculties and creating mental agility and perception. Being the lightest hue of the spectrum, the color psychology of yellow is uplifting and illuminating, offering hope, happiness, cheerfulness and fun. In the meaning of colors, yellow inspires original thought and inquisitiveness.

Yellow helps with decision making as it relates to clarity of thought and ideas, although it can often be impulsive. Yellow helps us focus, study and recall information, useful during exam time. The color yellow can be anxiety producing as it is fast moving and can cause us to feel agitated.

Yellow has a tendency to make you more mentally analytical and critical - this includes being self critical as well as critical of others.

Yellow is non-emotional, coming from the head rather than the heart. Yellow depends on itself, preferring to not get emotionally involved.

Yellow is related to the ego and our sense of self worth, to how we feel about ourselves and how we are perceived by others." - empower-yourself-through-color-psychology.com

Yellow is probably the least used color in RE. Once again, probably due to its brightness and positive connotations. As such, there's only four characters that really use and symbolize yellow. Brad Vickers, Jack Baker, Lott Klein, and Lucas Baker.

Brad's use of yellow symbolizes the more negative side of yellow. The side associated with cowardice and anxiety. This is obvious through his timid and cowardly personality. Dark yellow explains the traits of this negativity.

" Dark Yellow: The darker shades of yellow indicate an inclination toward depression and melancholy, lack of love and low self-worth. Dark yellow relates to the constant complainer and the cynic." - empower-yourself-through-color-psychology.com

Brad is melancholy and depressed in both his appearances in the series, and is generally described to be a complainer and cynic within the team.

Jack's use of yellow is a more dark, ironic twist on the positive aspects of yellow. Jack's cheery, upbeat dissonance with his violent actions goes with yellow's sunny enthusiasm and happiness. Jack continuously is rather cordial speaking with Ethan despite his many attempts to kill, making the scenes with him eery. 

Dark yellow's ties to melancholy also suit Jack near the end of the main game, as he wallows in sorrow over the death of his wife and begs Ethan to free him and his family in the (ugh) mindscape.

Lucas wears primarily dark blue, but also wears accents of yellow. The yellow symbolizes, much like his father, the dissonance of his happy demeanor with his sadistic actions. However, Yellow's cerebral connections tie into Lucas and his engineering skills. Yellow symbolizes new ideas and analytical thought. Lucas is capable of making elaborate, functioning traps and mechanisms with the scraps at his disposal.

" The color yellow loves a challenge, particularly a mental challenge." - empower-yourself-through-color-psychology.com

This supports Lucas' love of games, even though he doesn't play fair.

" Lemon Yellow: Lemon yellow promotes self-reliance and a need for an orderly life. This yellow increases our sensitivity to criticism." -  empower-yourself-through-color-psychology.com

Lott Klein is forced to be self reliant after the outbreak on Sheena Island and was already fairly independent even before then. His trust issues throughout the game connects with Lemon Yellow's sensitivity to criticism and anxiety tied to general yellow.

" Golden Yellow: This yellow is the color of the loner with an intense curiosity and interest in investigating the finer details of its interests. Golden yellow is sensitive to criticism." -  empower-yourself-through-color-psychology.com

Lott is considered an inquisitive and loner kid, having to fend for himself and his sister. His "investigating fine details" is what kicks off Survivor's whole plot as he is the one to figure out Ark being a spy and alerting Vincent Goldman. Yellow's positive traits can also fit with how his character grows to trust Ark and realize how evil Umbrella is along with how his previous thoughts of genetic superiority were wrong.

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

[velkynkarma]

Hello VelkynKarma :) I am really inspired by your incredible work and would like to ask if you have any advice about creating an AO3 account? I have been an anon for ages on the site and finally want to start publishing my fics. What are the pros and cons of the site from an actual users perspective (the terms & conditions & privacy policy are very long winded & confusing & the controversy is also weird) sorry if this is too much to ask, no worries if you don't want to reply :)

Hey anon! I don’t mind answering based on my own experiences. For me I think the hardest part of AO3 was just adjusting to the interface? It has a bit of a weird learning curve with its tags system compared to something like fanfiction.net, which sorts by character and genre. However, once you get used to it, it’s a lot easier to filter for things like ships or specific topics you want. And if you’ve been anon for a while, you’ve probably figured most of that part out already, so I’d say the hardest part for you is already over. Pros for me as a writer: Better organization with tags, series are a thing that exist and make it easier to organize groups of fics, cleaner interface, you can store drafts to format them ahead of time and then one-click post, has some nice options for gift fics or collaborations, imagery can be embedded for big bangs and writing/art collaboration. Cons for me as a writer: Copy/paste post interface is terrible (I have to reformat everything whenever I post), no PM feature, if you want to comment or respond to your readers it will add to your comment count and be public, the site is buggy sometimes and can freeze up postingI would suggest signing up for an account now, since if I recall it can take a bit to actually get it. And if you’re not quite comfortable publishing as soon as you get it, that’s fine! I had my account for a couple years before I started posting to it. I used it primarily for watching and commenting on fics, and that’s fine too. As a writer I appreciate all of my anon comments, but I do enjoy seeing familiar icons and names returning for things they like, or being able to respond to comments where they bring up interesting points.Most AO3 guides or posts on tumblr will talk about the beauty of AO3 being due to its open-ended policy: you can write literally anything, even darker or “problematic” content. As long as you tag for it fairly (either by specifying potentially triggering themes, or using the ‘author chooses not to warn’ option, which will tell a reader to be careful), it’s fair game. I’ve never really encountered this personally as most of the time when people champion this feature, they’re talking about sexual or ship content, which I don’t read or write. But if that’s your kind of thing, that’s a plus. Just be conscientious about tagging for content that commonly makes people uncomfortable so they have fair warning to back away if they need to, and try to listen to readers if they suggest tagging for content that you may have missed by accident.This is where the controversy you’d mentioned comes into play too: there are others who argue this shouldn’t be permitted and that content should be censored if it’s “problematic,” with the belief that it can be extremely harmful to viewers (in particular, younger viewers). And this has actually happened in internet history, with “purges” going across old fic platforms like fanfiction.net or livejournal to censor content. This is why a lot of people flock to AO3, which swears it will not be censoring content provided it is properly tagged for (so for example, if there is no warning or tag for sexual assault, and then a sexual assault scene happens, this could still get removed). The counter-argument to censorship is generally that other media (books, films, games) don’t even give you the courtesy of a tag or warning before throwing this kind of “problematic” content at you, and that if you have a problem with it in fic, you should not be reading that fic. There is also the case that these fics are just that: fiction, and that problems or conflicts are essential to a story. You can make your own judgement on how you feel on all of that. If you don’t like it, it’s entirely possible to enjoy AO3 without getting embroiled in the controversy, especially if you don’t even write the kind of content that’s frequently fought over. Advice that I DON’T see that often for AO3? Check where your fandom is. AO3 is becoming a more popular platform, but some fandoms still don’t really gravitate to it. When I was writing for Young Justice, I posted the exact same fic on both fanfiction.net and AO3 at the exact same time, and by a landslide fanfiction.net had more of a response. By contrast, I posted my early Voltron works on both fanfiction.net and AO3, and fanfiction.net got barely any response, but the fics did exceptionally well on AO3. Some fandoms are probably on other platforms entirely, like tumblr. If you’re looking to get feedback or comments, I suggest experimenting with this when you first start. Where you post can make a big difference, and sometimes AO3 isn’t the best answer. Last but not least, as a purely platonic gen writer, I beg you to learn the definition of ‘gen’ and ‘ship’ properly if you aren’t familiar with it yet. Please, please, please, please, don’t tag things as ‘gen’ on AO3 if there’s ships involved, and please don’t write “[character] & [character]” if it’s a ship. Gen is for platonic interaction, and if you’re indicating a ship, it’s “[character]/[character],” while the “&” indicates two characters interacting in a non-shippy way. I hope this helps anon! :)

[aion-rsa]

Lucifer Season 6 Episode 2 Review: Buckets of Baggage

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This Lucifer review contains spoilers.

Lucifer Season 6 Episode 2

“The world needs a God.” 

What the hell has happened to Chloe Decker? Has the time she’s spent with Lucifer Morningstar over the past five years changed her so irrevocably that she’s willing to break the law to solve a low-level mystery that only indirectly involves the LAPD? The final season’s second episode, “Buckets of Baggage,” offers up an enjoyable romp that awkwardly mixes the world of drag queens with the budding relationship between Ella and Carol. Still an enjoyable story but not Lucifer at its best.

But this is Lucifer, and things can change in the blink of an eye. We suddenly find ourselves in Hell with a completely different storyline and a much darker tone, and though the search-for-self theme still plays the central role in the season to this point, it’s clear that Lucifer’s siblings are not quite ready to cede God’s throne to their fallen brother. Whether the narrative decision to once again revisit the battle among the celestial siblings for ultimate control is the right one remains open for debate, but at least we now have a face to go along with the fishnet stockings and black leather boots. Brianna Hildebrand (The Exorcist) joins the cast as the magenta-winged angel intent on learning what it will take to bring down Lucifer once and for all. 

Even though Carol adequately replaces Dan on the LAPD team, Chloe’s ex continues to play a vital role in determining Lucifer’s fate, and what he learns from his latest visitor is what we’ve suspected all along. Lucifer could have rescued Dan from Hell at any point. I’m generally not a fan of bringing characters back from the dead, and while we don’t know what’s actually going to happen here, I am intrigued to learn how Lucifer explains the lie he’s been telling Dan. Of course, that line of thinking also produces a fundamental narrative conflict – Lucifer doesn’t lie which then forces us to re-evaluate the angel’s contention. Dan immediately recognizes the manipulation, so it will be interesting to watch whether he uses his prior knowledge of the human/celestial coexistence to his personal advantage. 

On one level it’s become increasingly painful to watch Chloe struggle with her identity after a highly successful career in the LAPD, but any time she and Maze get together, literally anything can happen. On the heels of Linda’s suggestion that Eve consider her impending life as the Queen of Hell’s partner, it’s obvious that life in the Silver City may not provide Chloe the type of challenges she needs. She hasn’t admitted that to herself yet and uses Maze to channel the buried hostilities regarding her future life. Still, the trashed apartment scene plays nicely against the opening scene in which Chloe and Lucifer wreak havoc in the penthouse during a vigorous sexual encounter. The two events are not dissimilar and speak to Chloe’s emotional turmoil.

Nevertheless, it’s Lucifer’s inability to commit to a life of selflessness that dominates the season to this point, and while it’s commendable that he sets out on a quest he thinks will ultimately qualify him to replace his father as God, more and more it seems he’s simply stalling for time. There’s a lot to like about Scott Porter’s portrayal of Detective Carol Corbett, but the dynamic interplay Lucifer enjoys with Dan just isn’t there. That said, when they go to the drag club to interview Busty Bazoongas, it provides Tom Ellis yet another opportunity to play the piano and sing, and per usual, he does not disappoint performing a smoky rendition of “The Lady is a Tramp.” Obviously, it’s a totally different set of circumstances now, and perhaps we just need to let Carol and Lucifer work things out.

While it’s true Lucifer has undergone a significant amount of personal growth during his time on Doctor Linda’s couch and his work with Team Lucifer at the LAPD, it’s beginning to feel as if this quest is simply a well intentioned act of futility. Nonetheless, there are some wonderfully funny exchanges that relate to Lucifer’s dilemma. “We argued like trailer trash in a Walmart parking lot on Black Friday,” Busty tells Lucifer before launching into a speech about facing one’s fears. And that does seem to be the crux of Lucifer’s problem; he doesn’t truly believe he’s capable of doing the job that needs to be done, and the closer he gets to ascending, the more terrified he becomes. Again, not dissimilar from his prior inability to tell Chloe he loves her.

Though it’s completely unfair and somewhat inaccurate to label Ella’s character as a supporting player in the overall arc, her role as Lucifer’s conscience now becomes even more of a driving force in this final season. She battles her own residual relationship demons, yet avoids a true crisis of faith and unwittingly forces Lucifer to question his own motivations and desires. On Linda’s couch, Lucifer clearly understands his own personal crisis. “How is it possible to care about all of them?” he asks, and it’s possible he already knows the answer. He can’t. As Carol interrogates his first suspect, Lucifer ironically intrudes in his selfish desire to help the detective he claims to dislike. “This is the voice of God.”

Lucifer’s fear ridden confession to Chloe that he may not be cut out to be God reveals a lot about where the series may head in its final leg. In the episode’s opening scene, Chloe responds to Amenadiel’s concern that no one currently sits on God’s throne. “Is the universe collapsing? Are frogs falling from the sky?” she tells Lucifer’s brother in an attempt to deflect from the true issue at hand – Lucifer’s reluctance to ascend and become God.

As we follow Carol and Ella leaving the theater after their date at a Jackie Chan film, we’re momentarily distracted. Have we ever seen her in a dress? “It’s the best date I’ve ever had,” he tells her before kissing her on the cheek. It appears to be a simple setup scene for the cute couple’s burgeoning relationship. Instead, we return to Chloe’s assertion in the opening scene. “Hey, if you’re still up there,” Ella says, “thanks.” And then a frog fortuitously falls on her car. Does she see this as a sign from God? Is the universe, in fact, collapsing?” Regardless, behind the scenes machinations are underway, and Lucifer’s path to God’s seat has gotten infinitely more precarious.

Though the season premiere makes it abundantly clear Lucifer is having second thoughts about becoming God, it still provides enough indications that eventually we’ll see him taking on the Big Guy’s job. “Buckets of Baggage,” however, reminds us that even the celestials suffer many of the same concerns as their human brethren. Still, even though he’s dead and in Hell, Dan may hold the key to humanity’s future.

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The post Lucifer Season 6 Episode 2 Review: Buckets of Baggage appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[susandsnell]

it's been bugging me for a while now, but five worst parts of the dark Knight and one good part. bc I know you hate the movie 😂😂

boh. oh my gosh. b please don’t hate me.  😂😂

Five worst parts of the Dark Knight: 

5. The Filmmaking. More specfically: LONG AND WASHED OUT PALETTE. IT’S SO FUCKING LONG. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE OVER TWO AND A HALF HOURS WITH TEN PLOTS TO WRAP UP AND HAVE NO FUCKING COLOURS IN IT. WE GET IT, NOLAN, A MAN DRESSED UP AS A BAT BRINGS YOU NO JOY AND SO NOW WE HAVE TO NOT HAVE ANY JOY IN OUR HEARTS EITHER, THANKS A LOT. HERE I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN AT A MOVIE ABOUT BATMAN, BUT YOU SURE PROVED ME WRONG. 

4.  The Writing. Holy pretentious dialogue Batman! Where do I begin?Harvey Dent’s “I will state the theme of my arc in the most lazy and blatant foreshadowing speech until Emma Stone literally says she’s gonna die in the opening of The Amazing Spiderman 2″ gets quoted all the time and yes, superhero movies aren’t known for their subtlety, and not all great movies need to be subtle, but the “die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain” is egregious not only for the reasons I stated, but is a nauseating indicator of the film’s cynicism (despite what the boat climax purports to be proving!). Alfred’s “some men just want to watch the world burn” speech is similar albeit less facepalmy and Theme Stating. It’s blunt and heavy-handed, overly expositional, and very hit-you-over-the-head with regard to commentary. 

And here’s the thing! It could work in the context of the type of movie it is - The Shape of Water pretty much opens with a statement of the “who the real monster is” idea, but it works because the film is a fairy tale and presents itself as such, whereas this movie wants to have its cake and eat it too as a “super adult DEEP subtle COMPLEX movie” with incredibly clear and simple shit like this. Beyond that,  Nolan really has a dialogue issue in a lot of his works where nobody just has a fucking conversation. Everything has to be the most serious issue in the world or a ten thousand word treatise on the fundamental dichotomies of human nature or some shit you’d hear in a freshman philosophy 101 course from that guy nobody can tolerate who thinks he’s G-d’s gift because he wears glasses or some shit, I don’t know. Even the Joker, an agent of chaos, gets wrapped up into it! Like he is a showman, but the yammering and rambles of shit that isn’t even that deep but pretends to be gets on my damn nerves. And the worst part is that it comes at the expense of the characters. 

They don’t really…develop emotional bonds (even with Rachel, the token woman And Therefore the Object At Which Emotions are Thrown). I’m not invested because none of these characters are real or relatable or have human interactions. The script shouldn’t be an anchor that drowns the actors and suffocates the characters to the point that there’s no chemistry, no connection, no believable core. Alfred is practically Bruce’s father and I get no love out of them! Harvey and Bruce don’t connect at all! Lucius Fox, the only POC in the entire movie, is literally reduced to a plot device despite having moral concerns! 

3. That damn third act. This one takes special mention because it just pisses me off. It’s just too much! The chase with the Joker would be fine, but that’s not the end. His plot already extends way beyond where it would logically end (hence the bullshit runtime), but on top of that, on top of the drama with the escape ferries hammering you over the head with the point they’re trying to make about humanity and the obnoxious moralizing, and then you have Harvey’s fall to the dark side which I’m sorry, needed a lot more time than just getting crammed in to the back end of the movie. His descent into evil happened way too quickly. Two-Face is a great villain! But take Batman the Animated series (to me, the best adaptation of Batman there is, while not perfect) as an example: he’s established as a character and his descent into Two-Face receives the full focus of entire episodes and impacts the characters later on! Having him play sideshow to the Joker is a huge mistake, especially with something as huge at play as threatening Gordon’s family; it completely disrupts the focus of the plot and unnecessarily prolongs the film as a whole, but he goes down pretty easily in one of the movie’s shitty-ass fight sequences that I’d make their own point if there weren’t worse things because I can’t tell who’s punching who. And if you’re gonna rush Dent into villainy only to kill him, that makes his whole plot kinda a waste.

And The Dark Knight Rises was a lot more criticized than the Dark Knight, so how’s this for a fix for the entire trilogy? Don’t kill Two-Face. Keep Joker getting carted away gloating about having corrupted him, but then have Two-Face get away too.  Don’t make whitewashed lamely written Bane the villain of the next movie - instead, let the tail end of this movie build Two-Face up as the main villain for the final part! That way, you have more time for development, cohesiveness, consequences, exploration of themes, and you don’t waste characters. 

2.  Batman / Bruce Wayne’s entire character. Okay, so whenever I fawn over the Lego Batman movie and how it confronts the issue with modern portrayals of Bats and rightfully points out it’s not deep, he’s just a humongous dick, this feels like the source material of that popular portrayal. Of course, it pre-dates it in the comics - Miller and company are to blame for Grimdark Asshat who Batmansplains, but I feel like Dark Knight especially, for its success and greater accessibility as a film, is what widely propagated this portrayal. 

Secret identity or cape and cowl, there is a serious issue in your Batman movie if your Batman is terrible. He’s the protagonist, the titular character, and he’s fucking terrible! At best, Bruce Wayne is like…completely deadpan and not even there (I don’t give Bale shit because I think a lot of the fault lies with the writing/direction, Ledger was pretty much the only lively performance in the movie), placeholder of a protagonist. At worst, he comes off as deeply self-centered, self-aggrandizing, entitled, and violently unstable. I don’t care how bad the Joker is, when in custody, he still had legal rights, and Batman fucking tortured him. Even brutal criminals should not ever be tortured for information! And the film never engages with Bats reaching the point of beating people to a pulp as means of interrogation; he just feels conflicted about who’s worse and broods over it after the fact instead of, I don’t know, maybe thinking twice about torturing someone. The darker Marvel Netflix shows have their characters doing a lot of grim things, but the narrative or other characters almost always holds them accountable for it in ways beyond “aww, I feel kinda sad that I beat mentally ill people to a bloody pulp” – it challenges them often, or has other characters call them out. Batman just does this shit and people are like “oh you shouldn’t do that” and he’s like “AHHH I’M A MONSTER” and it borders into uncomfortable real-life implications with regard to authority and violence. There’s something to be said for introducing grey morality into superhero media, and I get the anti-hero thing, but Dark Knight codified the “white guy grimdark antihero being actually just a terrible fucking person who is the good guy in name only” deal we see in a lot of our media today.

It’s one thing to have a complex and flawed protagonist, but you have to balance that out with redeeming qualities, otherwise, he’s not even a fucking superhero! Again, I refer back to the 90s animated series: Batman has his moments of ruthlessness, but it’s balanced out with the philanthropy work we see in Bruce Wayne, and moments of genuine compassion that he shows many of his enemies – he apologizes genuinely to Two-Face, often tries to give them an out, and is frequently super kind to Harley Quinn, bringing her the dress she was accused of stealing when she was sent back to Arkham in the episode where she tried to redeem herself, and frequently trying to get her to acknowledge that the Joker is abusive towards her, as well as convince her she can still start over and be a good person. On top of which, Batdad is super popular in both the show and the comics. He’s frequently shown as having an especial soft spot for children; addition to all his adopted kids, you also have a lot of his interactions with children, whether as Bruce or as Batman, marked by gentleness, care, and compassion, largely based on what he went through as a child. 

You get no such moment in the Dark Knight. I cannot for the life of me think of kids who would go to see this as a Batman movie and leave looking up to Batman and wanting to be like him except on the surface level of wearing a cool costume and punching bad guys. There is nothing heroic or admirable about this Bruce. He fights crime as a vigilante - brutally, I might add -and this time, it comes off more as a desire for vengeance than a desire for justice, a point which the film raises, but ultimately doesn’t resolve or engage with in a satisfying character arc. 

The closest thing we get to humanizing this character is his relationship with Rachel, and even then, his interactions with her have heavy shades of Friendzoned Nice Guy which is especially bullshit because he won’t pursue a relationship with her yet is bitter about any decisions she might make about her own love life. He doesn’t even care about her that much as anything more than a conquest! He really doesn’t, and Alfred tearing up the letter proves that – with regards to how he behaves towards her, it really feels like it’s not so much that the letter would break his heart as it is that he’d resent her beyond the grave! 

Worse yet, he gives no shits about anyone else. This has a lot to do with Nolan’s scripts having a toxic masculinity problem where it’s not cool for guys to sympathize with or have emotional bonds amongst themselves, but like… he’s allies in a shared venture with the other characters, and nothing more. Alfred is practically his dad but you wouldn’t know that. Gordon, as revealed in TDKR, was kind to him after his parents’ deaths, but they’re just partners. Harvey is a rival for claiming a woman!  In other adaptations, Bruce and Harvey’s friendship is fleshed out a lot so the guilt and shock of his transformation into Two-Face is really impactful! Here, Bruce doesn’t really give a shit beyond it just being another thing to do. 

And that’s what heroism and motivations are to Batman in this - just a thing to do. I don’t want to watch a hero who’d rather bitch about doing good than actually just fucking do good, this is the safety of your city, not a school essay! He doesn’t really seem to want to help people, he wants to complain about people, but then thinks he’s so fucking special and such a snowflake martyr for still helping them regardless! It’s such a deeply childish and yes, toxically male mentality. I know it’s become a meme, but the ”I’m not the hero Gotham needs, but the hero that it deserves” line pisses me off so much for this reason, as well as the fact that he thinks that Gotham’s flaws justify the fact that he beats the fuck out of people and roars in their face to get answers; I think the perfect refutation to both that line and how a superhero protagonist that explores what heroism means can actually be found in Wonder Woman – “It’s not about deserve, it’s about what you believe.” In fact, that’s what made Wonder Woman so good (and feminist!) – it’s rejection of toxic masculine ideals and emphasis on love, compassion and vulnerability being one’s strength, and that people are inherently deserving of being saved if you believe in the good of the world - a much better treatise on good and evil than “see, people sometimes don’t explode boats but they still suck so it’s okay for a billionaire in furry cosplay to beat the shit out of mentally ill people because that’s what this city deserves, a guy who’s more into violence than saving people.” He just doesn’t care, so why the hell should we?

And there’s just no arc. He just reacts to shit and that’s it, which makes him boring when he’s not being a fucking maniac. Despite the script not allowing him to have feelings for other human beings, having him break his no-kill rule with Harvey at the end would have been impactful….had he not already broken it in Batman Begins by leaving White Ra’s al Ghul (Liam Neeson I love you but there is no reason to have whitewashed him or Talia the way Nolan did in the series - same as he did with Bane and arguably Catwoman since she’s been portrayed as a WOC many times before, actually come to think of it, there is a LOT of whitewashing in this trilogy) to his death. 

The film comes up with no real way to challenge it’s hero, have him grow, or change, or even show consequences for his failure to change, making him come off as stunted, unlikeable, and yeah, not much of a hero.

1. The sexism. (You knew this was coming, and yes, it is the worst part). I already mentioned how the men in this movie all fall prey to toxic masculinity as is common with Nolan characters, then even more characteristic of a Nolan movie is The Dead Girlfriend, Wife, or Daughter (you know, the only three things women could ever be!) of Sad White Guy(s). Rachel is the only female character (strike one) and she is handled nothing short of atrociously. Her entire job as a lawyer, intelligence, and hard work established in Batman Begins (which is also too grimdark but actually doesn’t piss me off half as much!) is hardly even mentioned and takes a backseat to her being a prize for the men (including her boss!) to throw feelings at and squabble over. While the male characters have no personality except for one characteristic and a goal because this script was written by an edgy thirteen year old boy, Rachel has no personality except to be a living emotional crutch/plot device. She does not exist as an autonomous individual outside her relationships to the men in the movie. Shit, she’s barely autonomous within these relationships! Bruce is a bitter little shit about her not wanting him back and we’re supposed to feel for him despite him literally offering her nothing relationship-wise for two movies and actively pushing her away at times! He feels he can’t be with her, but the framing is such that she shouldn’t have the right to be with anyone else, either! What the hell? I would even go so far as to say that her choosing Harvey just as she gets blown up, as well as how both of them got to that point, almost feel like the narrative punishing her for not wanting Bruce. More male entitlement bullshit. 

 And her fate…well, I mean. There’s a damn reason The Dark Knight is my go-to example when I want to explain what Fridging/Stuffed in the Fridge means. After having every possible stereotypical pigeonholed white girl trope tossed at her, Rachel is killed off callously for the character development and man angst of not one, but two self-obsessed stubbled white guys who make it about themselves and their right to act like phenomenal turds. She’s Helen of Troy – a woman blamed for people’s reactions to her (Harvey becoming Two-Face, Batsy or Bruce being saaaaaad, etc). She’s the Lost Lenore; a person reduced to how their death impacts their romantic interests.  We have reached peak Nolan here, and frankly, peak Batman too, because the franchise (comics, movies, etc) has always had this same problem with its treatment of women. Her fucking death isn’t even about her! It’s Harvey’s fucking villain origin and Bruce’s sad ending and Alfred’s resentment and note-burning and would she have waited, oh boo hoo, how about, did she have a fucking family, what would have happened if she hadn’t been murdered young, et fucking cetera. 

The thing that really gets me is that Rachel is by no means the worst treated woman in speculative fiction (especially not those that make a claim to some degree of intellectualism); she’s white, so her death is beautifully tragic and she’s put on a pedestal rather than being subjected to racialized misogynistic tropes (being treated more roughly by the narrative, having her suffering ignored or erased altogether, her death being callously ignored except for a throwaway line of dialogue, etc), she’s not unnecessarily and gratuitously sexually brutalized for shock value (that looks uncomfortably like fetishism at times) like the women on Game of Thrones or in nu!Bond movies, or, if we’re still in the Batman universe, Barbara Gordon in any iteration of the Killing Joke (which is another tentpole of misogyny in the Batman universe and I fucking hate it and it clearly influenced the Dark Knight, so, chicken, egg). She isn’t forcibly sterilized and her inability to get pregnant treated as making her a freak like AOU Black Widow. She has no pointless and insulting fanservice scenes like Carol Marcus in her underwear in Star Trek: Into Darkness. Her suffering is not treated as empowerment like any number of women written by Joss Whedon, she isn’t used to be chewed up and spat out and destroyed in a romance with either a guy who terrifies her and in whom she’s shown no prior romantic interest or an outright villain who has caused her nothing but pain in some stupid half-assed not-redemption arc where she has to sublimate herself and be stupidly forgiving beyond the willing suspension of disbelief so some horrible man can evolve.

But why this sexism sticks out to me is that it’s so insidious; if it were more on the nose like the examples I listed above, it’d almost be less jarringly offensive, but it masquerades as her being an empowered yet tragic character and weaves into an overall narrative that validates all the tropes I mentioned, and legitimizes itself in a way that feels fundamentally dishonest about how sexist it’s being. Worse yet, there’s the fact that The Dark Knight is more than just self-contained; its influence on not just comic book movies, but all kinds of media as we know it, is undeniable. And as far as setting the example goes? This hugely well-regarded, influential film is almost entirely white, and tells us that women exist as distractions, tragedies, and extensions of men’s storylines, and this bullshit has been echoing in similar media works since. 

AND NOW, THE ONE (or multiple!) NICE THING(S): 

All this being said, I admit there actually are a lot of things I like about this movie if I can separate them enough from the main issues! 😂For one thing, Hans Zimmer’s work on the score is top-notch; I listen to Like a Dog Chasing Cars and Harvey Two-Face all the time and the music alone provokes stronger emotions for the characters than anything in the movie actually did. The opening heist is just fantastically entertaining, and up until the messy third act, the pacing and plot is pretty tight and engaging! Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker is of course fantastic; although he’s not my favourite Joker, he really gave it his all, and is by and large the highlight of the film. Nolan is really good with visual appeal (with the exception of that damn colour palette) and the shots are fantastic. I really love the chase scene with the Joker and wish the rest of the movie held my excitement like that.  

Finally, it’s odd to say this, but I really like the world of the movie once I ignore the characters and plot. The Gotham that was built in Nolan’s trilogy, the contrast between the classes with the lavish receptions and dinners versus the underbelly, the corruption versus the goodness, how these disparate elements work in a terrible symbiosis, the architecture and technology reflecting this character – it’s incredibly vivid, both grounded in reality and yet sufficiently speculative fiction-y enough to be intriguing. I just wish that the people in it matched the quality of the setting. 😂😂😂

[drpepperhateblog]

Thoughts on Jessica Jones Season 2, Episodes 1-5

In case it wasn’t obvious: SPOILER WARNING!

“Start at the Beginning” is the name of Episode 1, but it may as well have been a tagline for the season, because the phrase has been used several times now. It’s fitting, really, because this show is about Jessica’s past. Not her past with Kilgrave, but her past before Kilgrave.

I’ll start by saying that I feel as if my opinions on this show put me in the minority of Jessica Jones and Marvel fans. Go to any YouTube comment section and you’ll see hundreds of people upvoting “I hope Kilgrave is back!” “I hope Kilgrave returns as Jessica’s sidekick!” and other comments of that nature. 

I loved Season 1 and I think David Tennant played Kilgrave well, but I don’t want him back on the show as a series regular. It would be detrimental to character development. Jessica dealing with her PTSD is one thing, but turning Kilgrave into her best friend after he raped her, Hope, probably more women as well, and mind-controlled people into committing murder, suicide, and other horrifying acts, is just bizarre.

Luckily, I’ve seen the first 5 episodes of Jessica Jones, and he doesn’t appear in any of them. He is referenced in conversations, of course, trauma doesn’t go away easily, even if you confront it it’ll stay with you. The aftermath of the confrontation also weighs on Jessica. While at first sight not much has changed about her character: she still drinks heavily and throws quips, the first five episodes make it clear that Jessica is more volatile than ever. And she isn’t the only one. 

Trish is tired of feeling helpless. Hogarth is not in control of her destiny. They lash out, they act out. The characters are brought to different places which enables them to show darker sides of their personality, and it’s a treat to watch.

In an interview with The New York Times, Melissa Rosenberg mentioned that the season was inspired by the U.S. election. It shows.

“We were writing the second season during the whole Trump/Hillary election, and I was just so angry,” Ms. Rosenberg said of her team of writers. “We constantly talked about characters that had been trying to be nice for so long, finally just saying, ‘Get out of my way!’ Just tapping into the rage Hillary must have felt every day.” (Source)

One of the first scenes involves a man who approaches Jessica to say he wants to absorb Alias Investigations. When she says no, his response is “I never take no for an answer”. Jessica gives the perfect response: “How rapey of you”. Happy International Women’s Day!

Jessica’s comment is more than just a random quip though. It’s part of the recurring Hillary Clinton theme.

We get a scene where Jeri talks about sexism in the workplace. The speech felt very real to me as a viewer, so it’s no surprise when I looked back at the aforementioned Melissa Rosenberg interview and found this quote:

She recalled struggling “to be one of the guys in the writers’ room.” If she didn’t laugh along with men at sexist conversations that made her uncomfortable, she risked being left out of meetings — or fired.

“If I had been a man, my stridency and my opinionated presence and voice would not have engendered the same kind of response,” Ms. Rosenberg said.

Jeri also gets involved with three sex workers, who are given a scene where they talk about their personal lives. It was a breath of fresh air to see sex workers shown as actual human beings. I can’t recall ever seeing that in a show before.

Trish gets into a relationship with a man called Griffin, and constantly has to deal with standing in his shadow. In one scene with her mother, Trish says “I didn’t want to be with him, I wanted to be him”, and I get the impression that gender played a role in it. 

She wishes she had the same power and impact as he did. She wishes she didn’t need to deal with magazines immediately assuming she hooked up with another guy just because she helped Malcolm. She wishes she didn’t need to deal with the pedophile from her past who decides to slut-shame her, blaming 15 year old Trish for his actions as a 40 year old adult. 

The show doesn’t shy away from reality either- women engage in this type of victim blaming behavior too, and Trish’s mother is one of them (what a surprise).

All these little moments stood out to me, perhaps more than the IGH mystery did. It’s not a boring plot in any way, but it feels quite stretched-out at the moment. I have faith in these writers though. They must be building up to something big in episode 6, since they were sending out the first five episodes only for the audience to review. They must have done this to avoid crucial spoilers. Or so I hope.

In addition, I felt a bit thrown off by Simpson’s change in character. He had a very creepy approach to Trish, yet he seems harmless (if creepily overprotective) when she captures him. It felt unnatural after his actions in Season 1. I’m willing to let it slide since he was on some very strong medication, but Jessica and Trish’s reactions didn’t feel completely in-character to me. I choose to view it as a product of the stress they are going through.

Nonetheless, the mystery in itself is appealing. Who is the mystery woman? News sources suggested that it could be an MCU version of the character Typhoid Mary. I have never read a comic book, but from the information I was able to search up about her, she fits like a glove. Whizzer’s words, “With great power comes great mental illness” is the most obvious hint, but I also noticed Trish’s mother ordering coffee in Episode 2, only to change her mind and ask for a Bloody Mary. Coincidence? We’ll see.

These first five episodes were a pleasure to watch, and I think choosing only women as directors was a major reason why. Some commenters have argued that you should always choose who is best for the job and ignore factors like gender- and while that in itself is true, these first five episodes indicate that the show wants to focus 100% on women and the struggles they face. 

And who would know more about how being a woman feels like: a man, or a woman? I think you know the answer yourself.

[sunriseinorbit]

How the Haikyuu!! Soundtrack Reflects Tsukishima Kei’s Character Development

Disclaimer! I’m only talking about the anime because that’s what has music and I’m not caught up with the manga anyway. 

Haikyuu!! is really good and you know what else is really good? Its soundtrack, composed by Asami Tachibana and anime soundtrack god Yuki Hayashi (you may know him as the man behind the iconic soundtrack to Boku no Hero Academia as well as Death Parade and Kiznaiver among others).

And you know what else is really good? Its character development, specifically this guy’s:

(Am I biased? Hell yeah I am, do you know how big my crush on him was freshman year? But I digress.)

One thing I love about this series is how it brings characters in as antagonists and makes them super relatable and then, in many cases, sees them become protagonists in their own right, if not protagonists in the eyes of the narrative. Tsukishima is no exception. He’s the second character to do it after Kageyama, and the two of them are by and large some of the most developed characters the series has to offer, along with Hinata, Yamaguchi, and Oikawa.

But we’re talking about Tsukishima, and specifically, we’re talking about how the soundtrack highlights his character development through three specific tracks. (If you want to see me talk about his character development specifically, I wrote a meta on that last year!) And this is going to be a long one, so I’ll put the rest under a read more.

The first, Kageyama vs. Tsukishima from Season 1′s OST, is the odd one out of the bunch, but it does have his name in it, so I thought it was worth looking at.

 At this point in the series, we view Tsukishima as an antagonist, an obstacle Hinata and Kageyama have to overcome in order to gain their spots on Karasuno. And the song reflects that, with an ominous electronic bassline serving as an ostinato (a short melodic or rhythmic phrase that repeats in the background throughout a piece of music - one of the most infamous examples in classical music is Ravel’s Bolero).

This bassline also stays on the same 2 E’s the whole time, making for dissonance when the actual bassline ascends chromatically. This builds tension, especially when the bassline hits an F at 0:25 and an F# at 0:31 that never really resolves at the end of the song, even when the melody ends at 1:01. This ascension is also very slow, making for an even more ominous tone.

Speaking of the melody, one of the other interesting things about this track is how it weaves in a chord progression between the melody (which comes in at 0:21) and the bassline. This chord progression isn’t present at the very beginning, but as it slowly creeps in, there are a lot of seventh, ninth, and eleventh chords that never really resolve to major or minor (though the whole song does have a minor tone, it’s still kind of ambiguous). 

The combination of electronic instrumentation and the lack of resolution, along with a fairly simple melody on top of it all. give an impression to the audience that at this point, Tsukishima is cool and collected but also someone you don’t want to mess with because you don’t know who he is yet.

Onward! Now the real fun begins!

Season 2, particularly the training camp arc in its first half, is a time of growth and change. The main conflict during this arc comes from characters who want to change going up against characters who want to stay how they are (e.g. Kageyama and Hinata’s fight) or characters getting in the way of each other in the process of changing (e.g. Hinata stealing the ball from Asahi)

And notably, this arc contains the catalyst for Tsukishima’s character development that’s continued steadily throughout the anime at this point. After all, we all remember episode 8, don’t we?

No, not that. Okay, kind of that but mostly this:

Episode eight is when Tsukishima actually starts putting effort into volleyball and into his own personal development, and his main song on the OST this season, Moonrise, reflects that perfectly:

There are three parts to what makes this song special, and the first one is much more easier to understand than the other two:

This song starts with an ostinato, a simple drum beat (that sounds like a heartbeat, make of that what you will), and a simple (well, mostly) four-bar chord progression, all synthesized. 

The rest of the song consists of adding things to that, like more concrete piano chords, guitar, and a solid percussion line. Taking separate elements and putting them together, specifically elements from other teams’ playing styles, is what Karasuno focuses on during this arc and this season. Noya tries to do the libero set that Watari does, Asahi tries to do Ubugawa’s jump serves, all of Karasuno tries Shinzen’s synchronized attack, and Tsukishima (along with Hinata) learns about blocking from Kuroo (and a little bit Bokuto). The song reflecting that adds a nice touch. 

(This next point is where I get big on the music theory, so I’ll link a video about it a little bit farther down if you’re confused)

This song is, not unlike Tsukishima himself, calculated. It sounds smart, almost crafty, but it also has a bright quality to it. Why’s that? It’s time for everyone’s favorite music theory concept, modes!

These are the seven big modes (here’s a video about them) but we’ll mostly be focusing on these two:

Aeolian mode is your typical minor scale, but this song isn’t in C minor, it’s in C dorian, which makes all the difference: The raised 6 in dorian mode as opposed to aeolian mode.

So here’s the beginning of the song I transcribed earlier, except this time the raised 6ths (the A naturals) are all in red:

This use of A natural instead of A flat makes the piece brighter because we’re borrowing from a key that’s a step clockwise on the circle of fifths and thus a brighter-sounding mode. (There’s one video about this concept here and another one here about Persona 5 that also has a bit about Dorian mode! 8 Bit Music Theory is just really good y’all)

And is character development bright? Heck yeah.

The raised sixth also makes the 4-3 suspension in bars 7 and 8 go to F major instead of F minor, which makes that resolution more happy and hopeful:

The third thing about this song that makes it really interesting and fit Tsukishima’s character during this arc is its floaty feeling. It’s echo-y and synthesized and it sounds curious. Well, there’s two reasons for that: 

The first is the tempo and meter, a slow-ish three that is clearly felt in one rather than three beats but isn’t a Strauss waltz or anything like that. The beats aren’t clearly defined, so it feels more floaty. 

The second is the prevalence of 7th, 9th, and 11th chords that have ambiguous tonality - that is to say, they have elements of major and minor. (Think something from Zelda BoTW) Practically every chord in this song isn’t just a major or minor triad, which adds to its curiosity. For example, here’s a C minor 7 chord that’s used a lot in this song:

But hidden within this chord are both a C minor triad and an E flat major triad, the relative major (C minor is in orange, E flat major is in green)

That contributes to the ambiguity of the song and the feeling of uncertainty.

So now that we know Moonrise stupidly well, where do we go from here? Season 3, of course!

Most iconic anime moments of 2016 am I right?

Tsukishima’s main theme in the Season 3 soundtrack is The Halo Around the Moon (There’s also The Daytime Moon, but I’m not going to be talking about that in this meta because it doesn’t really fit in besides giving a more general heroic vibe)

You may notice right off the bat that this song has a lot in common with Moonrise, because it does. There are also a lot of differences, but I’ll talk about those later on.

First off, there’s an ostinato similar to the one used in Moonrise, and here they are back to back:

This first one is Moonrise:

And this second one is Halo Around the Moon:

Notice something interesting? I did, and I’ll put it in blue:

Yes, despite these two tracks being in different keys (C minor and G minor respectively), the beginnings of the ostinatos are exactly the same. That’s the first indication that Halo Around the Moon is a reprise of sorts of Moonrise. 

And here’s something funny: The Dorian-mode raised sixth I was talking about earlier? Guess where C minor borrowed that from? That’s right, G minor!

Another key similarity is at 0:18 in the song. Recognize that chord progression? You should, it’s the same one that’s used in most of Moonrise, complete with 4-3 suspensions into C major thanks to, you guessed it, a raised sixth.

The third important similarity is, of course, the prevalence of seventh chords, which again contribute to a sense of ambiguity.

There are more similarities between the two songs than that, but this post is long enough already, so let’s get to the differences:

There’s one rhythmic difference between the two that contributes a lot to the tone Halo has compared to Moonrise. I mentioned earlier that Moonrise is floaty, in a slow three without emphasized beats other than the downbeat. In contrast, Halo is in a solid four with clear beats even before the drums come in. One of the biggest reasons this works is the syncopation (putting emphasis on offbeats, something that happens a lot in jazz music, which this song is sort of emulating). You can see it with the ties in the ostinato, with the chords in the piano and guitar, and in the bassline.

The other reason this song sounds a lot more serious and solid is the fact that it isn’t restricted to dorian mode like Moonrise is. You’ll never see an A flat anywhere in Moonrise, but in Halo, an E flat seventh chord is the first sound you hear. Since aeolian mode (typical G minor, with E flats), is a shade darker than dorian mode (raised sixths, in this case E naturals), this makes Halo a lot more serious. Even so, Halo does switch back and forth between dorian and aeolian mode, which makes it retain a little bit of the wonder that Moonrise had. 

So what does that mean in context of the scene it appears in? It reflects that Tsukishima is more confident in himself and his abilities, which is one of the biggest points that scene tries to make. The mode switching also shows that he’s still unpredictable (one of the main points Kageyama vs Tsukishima tried to make, too!) and has somewhere to go (which he does - during this whole match, he becomes Karasuno’s chief strategist and even pulls a Hinata face when going in for a hit at one point). But most importantly, this song is triumphant, with the electric guitar chords at the beginning and the ending that builds tension and excitement the whole way through. 

Tl;dr: Tsukishima’s themes, even without their obvious titles, are clearly connected to him through their use of ostinatos, ambiguous chords, and dorian mode to make everything seem a little brighter, and the subtle and not so subtle changes between them show how he’s changed right along with the anime itself.

[fluidsf]

Sonic Picks 33 THU20: VROEG WERK (2012) Reviewed format: 2 CD compilation on Monochrome Vision Welcome to review number 33 in the Sonic Picks review series in which today we have this excellent 2 CD compilation of early works by Dutch experimental Industrial group THU20 titled VROEG WERK. This was released by the label Monochrome Vision which was founded and owned by Dmitry Vasilyev, who sadly passed last year. Vasilyev also created the inventive artwork for this compilation and wrote the liner notes. THU20 is a group with a lineup that changed overtime, with some members joining later on in the group’s existence but to keep things simple for now (and leave room for your own personal research if you want) I’ll list all members featured on this compilation just by name. On here we have, Jac van Bussel, Guido Doesborg, Peter Duimelinks, Roel Meelkop (who I also saw perform live at the recent concert with Kate Carr), Joe Smolders and Frans de Waard. The 2 CD (obviously) comes in a 2 CD jewel case, the cover artwork features hand drawn artwork by Vasilyev showing the artist name and title of this compilation. On the spine we have the artist name, compilation title and catalogue number as well as a continuation of the artwork on both sides. Included is a two page booklet with a description and historical details about the music contained on the compilation in both English and Russian. On the back page you can find details on the source of every track as well as a listening that shows which group member played on which track as well as more artwork in the background. The two CDs feature artwork similar to the compilation cover but with more straight edges and completely filled black rather than fuzzy lines and this artwork is inverted on DISK 2. The two CDs feature indications of the two parts (CDs) the compilation are made up of as well as copyright information. On the back you can find the artist name and compilation title again, tracklists and track times of all the tracks on the two CDs, Monochrome Vision logo, copyright info, artwork credits and contact and booking information for THU20. Now, let’s get into the music on VROEG WERK, starting with DISK 1 - STUDIO WORKS + LIVE IN BORDEAUX. What caught my attention especially in Dmitry Vasilyev excellent notes on THU20 is that he mentioned how their approach to making music is similar in style to how you’d listen and perceive a radio play. Indeed, it’s not uncommon for Industrial artists to use field recordings, radios, sound effect recordings and more in their music, but the approach I heard so far still fits these all in a continuous Noisy Industrial stream of sound or repeating rhythms, THU20 however changes up the structures of their pieces quite a bit and like radio plays often plays more into “emotional” dynamics or creating various sonic events that don’t repeat, after each other, eschewing the traditional form of Industrial often and creating their own original unpredictable compositions. Besides metallic percussion, bursts of Noise, THU20 makes use of tape / music manipulations as well as various live vocals and vocal samples that are often distorted but while the music is often pretty abrasive and sometimes aggressive, there’s also quite a lot of humour within the pieces, often the result of absurd sound manipulation and vocal effects that comes all out of nowhere and has a funny effect on the listening experience, adding some sunshine to the sometimes doom laden ambience of Industrial music. DISK 1 - STUDIO WORKS + LIVE IN BORDEAUX starts with 5720, a piece in which a Noise loop forms the background of a whole barrage of chaotic metal clanging but also funny percussive sound manipulations that sound quite cartoony. There’s also some bursts of vocal sounds, that sound like coughing. It’s an enjoyable piece in which Industrial rhythmic repetition is accompanied by richly resonant distorted “junk” percussion improvisations and there’s great manipulation of the panning of the sounds too, adding quite some depth to the otherwise quite centre focused Noise textures. 4023 features an Industrial percussion loop again as a base but also an entertaining jumpy distortion drum machine groove as well, the main performances on this piece consist of feedback manipulation as well as funny tape manipulation of material as varied as male voice recordings and a random children’s film. It’s an amusingly odd and playful piece, very nice. On 6554 we have a “swamp” like muddy texture forming a background rhythm accompanied by looped siren like sounds. Again, feedback manipulation is a main element of performance in this piece, though more subtle and mysterious this time, creating almost meditative ambience like resonant waves of sound that sweep over the muddy swampy rhythms and crackling sounds. 5857 features a sweet Industrial machinery rhythm and plenty of harsh Noise and feedback manipulations as well as more distant voice recordings fluctuating over time for some great harsh old-school Industrial performances in this enjoyable piece. 08 JG features some wild Noise manipulations, with a lot of very fast filter resonances warbles, sharp metallic drone repetitions and some weird vocals. It’s hard to distinguish any words from them through the distortion and reverb, but it amusingly sounds like a dialogue from a Disney animation between a demon and Mickey Mouse. It’s a really odd balance between the sharp tense Noise and synth manipulations and the absurd distorted dialogue. Some wildly original music here, very good. On The Four Elements you can hear what sounds like a an Industrial interpretation of a natural soundscape, featuring water sounds, wind, bird sounds all created through sonic manipulations. One of the more experimental pieces on this compilations there’s an intriguing progression in the piece in which the looped feedback, sweeps of Noise, watery squelches and more sounds all develop subtly overtime creating a kind of “imaginary field recording” of a landscape filled with birds as a storm is approaching. A great piece. Eerste Uni is the first piece of a series of pieces that follow that are all a bit shorter and seemingly create a single longer piece together playing after eachother. It’s definitely a great quality of the tracklist sequence that this compilation flows so smoothly from track to track. Eerste Uni features a strong focus on manipulated (music) recordings in juxtaposition with crackly treble laden Noise, very nice. Tweede Uni is a quieter piece with a darker tone, featuring low distorted Noise drones, eerie manipulation of music samples and eerie avant-garde “broken” melodic patterns on piano. Human Interface is a short piece consisting of raw trebly Noise manipulation which is very effective. Rollebollen features quite a lot of high pitched tape manipulation of recordings of stones being dragged as well as various sounds made with the mouth, a fun piece. Groningen Excerpt is a short fragment of a trebly and heavily distortion crunchy Industrial piece that is pretty resonant, very nice. Insthumixermix is a very heavily high frequency focused piece that also features some glitchy crackles that subtly shift into a more hollow sound as well as a wind like noise. A mysterious that sets quite an intriguing scene of quiet tension through the many high pitched sounds creating a “night” like sonic landscape outside. Djan Remix is a Noise piece but with a lot of resonant sounds in the mixture as well and the noise is very crunchy and ferocious, feels like being attacked by a hail storm made out of metal hail, very intense and sonically pleasing as well. The last track from DISK 1 - STUDIO WORKS + LIVE IN BORDEAUX is the live track Bordeaux. It’s a long live recording of a concert by THU20 which features them at their harshest of the whole CD. It’s filled with very abrasive Noise, feedback as well as aggressive voice recordings but also amusingly mixed with astronaut communication recordings and communication beeps. While it’s obviously quite a challenging listen as long Noise pieces often can be, the variation, panning and energetic sound manipulation performances make the live track very enjoyable with the many variations in Noise, feedback, voice recording manipulations and insane synth effects, a very energetic and powerful performance, which finishes off the first CD in this 2 CD set. Then we move to DISK 2 - EARLY LIVE. This second CD is a bit less varied in terms of sonic material, being mostly Industrial and Noise oriented in a more traditional sense and at times a bit more repetitive but does feature some strong and energetic live performances by THU20 and the tracks are “mixed” into each other in a way, mostly crossfading from one track into another creating what feels like an extended live set. ’s-Hertogenbosch starts off this CD with a roomy and distant Industrial piece that is quite resonant but also rather dark and filled with shifting and shuffling sweeps of fuzzy sound filling the sonic space, this piece definitely’s got quite a great immersive ambience to it, sounding like some big hidden machine making noise underneath a thick steel floor. Intro Rotterdam is a short interlude piece featuring some fun distorted playful synth arpeggios panning through the stereo field moving to Heiloo 2. Heiloo 2 features Tribal like Industrial rhythms and Noise screeches, what I particularly like about this piece are the heavily distorted music samples in the background. They give the minimalist piece quite a unique kind of juxtaposition in which cheerful music is combined with tense and sometimes harsh Industrial sounds, very effective and enjoyable. On Heiloo 3 the juxtaposition of distorted music samples and screechy Industrial is continued though with a much harsher and darker sound and the male voice dialogue samples add a nice recurring theme to the intense mixture of sound. Winterswijk 4 features a more droney reverberated sound mixed with squelchy synth effects and film samples that feels a bit like a quirky thriller film soundtrack, interesting sound. Rotterdam 2 features a heavily thumping Industrial groove, fuzzy distorted voice and some hilarious details like the easy listening jazz samples and siren like synth that does bring back some of the playfulness of CD 1 though with a harsher sound overall. ’s-Hertogenbosch [outtake] features a spooky drone and a text in Dutch about the pressure that is put on people in their daily life. Indeed it’s a piece that’s more effective if you can understand Dutch, but the gloomy mysterious ambience definitely does give off an intriguing feeling in this piece. Heiloo 4 is completely built of manipulated voice recordings that credit fuzzy, crunchy and squelchy distorted tones and rhythms, a very raw Noise sound collage piece, sounds good. Winterswijk 5 is an aggressive Noise piece with an Industrial mechanic rhythm within it, quite abrasive and energetic, it’s definitely a nice track to add some wild screeching to the mixture on this CD and the phaser usage is great too. Rotterdam 3 is quite a straight-forward Noise piece featuring screechy high frequencies and helicopter like pulsations. Rotterdam 4 is another rather aggressive piece with insane screaming vocals, thumping distorted drum machine groove and a lot of screechy Noise and feedback. Delft 3 is a very resonant feedback based piece with water sounds, delay manipulation and also some fun Industrial banging sounds. Heiloo 5 is a long track with a pretty hilarious Industrial drum groove that actually features an orchestral hit, there’s also plenty of Noise and Industrial percussion performances in here as well as more aggressive screechy harsh vocals, this all is combined with a distorted recording of what sounds like a Gregorian choir, the percussion performances in this piece are particularly nice. Rotterdam 1 has quite a great ambience with mechanical sounds that sounds like a big hydraulic machine slowly moving creating this distinctive sucking sound and bang afterward which is accompanied by feedback, water sound and amusing manipulated music recordings, quite a bit different of a piece and a nice interlude in between the other tracks. Afterwards we have a short Industrial loop in ’s-Hertogenbosch [excerpt] which leads into Mainz [excerpt]. This is definitely one of the stronger pieces on this CD featuring some really harsh mechanical Noise that’s very screechy, speeding up and down overtime, really intense good experience. Last piece Stuiterthu Ariane Danssolo continues this vibe some more but moving into a rhythmic Industrial direction again with looping percussion accompanying a lot of high frequency laden squelchy synth effects, very nice final track. All in all VROEG WERK by THU20 is definitely an essential collection for anyone who wants to get into the Dutch underground music (tape) scene from the 80’s and while I do prefer DISK 1 a bit more than DISK 2 (due to the more varied sound on DISK 1), both CDs features some great energetic performances and THU20 definitely has their unique twist on Industrial and Noise music with the often absurd juxtapositions of sound manipulations, inventive compositional structures and the sometimes surprisingly subtle pieces that you can also come across on this 2 CD set.

[sulietsexual]

LOVED your take on The Freshman, amazing meta as usual and I agree it's such an underrated episode. I can't believe you didn't mention the umbrella though! Also... since you were going to do Becoming... is it too much to ask for it now? I know I'm greedy... :)

ShortOpinion: Noother ship will ever tear me apart the way Bangel does

LongOpinion: BeforeThe Gift came along and stole my heart, Becoming was my favourite seasonfinale, and my favourite episode of BtVS. There is so much to love about thisdouble episode, as it so beautifully showcases Buffy becoming the Slayer, Angelbecoming a vampire and Buffy becoming strong enough to defeat Angel. Bringingthe Angelus arc to a close, while exploring themes of identity, destiny andself-preservation, Becoming is everything a season finale should be and playsthe emotional angle for all its worth.

While I understand how and whysome fans find Angel first seeing Buffy when she is so young creepy andunsettling, I also understand what the writers were trying to portray, showingAngel at his lowest and most desolate and demonstrating how, even before sheknew him, Buffy gave him hope enough to turn his life around, to become a partof something bigger. Whistler sending Angel to Buffy was never supposed to comeacross as stalkery (which it unfortunately does, to a certain extent – althoughnot the extent some fans try to make it out to be) but rather, was supposedshow that Angel sees more to Buffy than she sees in herself, and that heempathises with her loneliness and isolation (a running theme in Buffy andAngel’s relationship).

In the present day, we see Buffyand Willow finally discover the floppy disk (omg, BtVS really showsits age sometimes) containing the spell to re-ensoul Angel and Buffy makes thedecision to have Willow perform the spell. I want to take a moment to talkabout this decision, as I have long wanted to talk about the good oldSpike-fandom argument about Angelus having his soul forced upon him vs Spikeseeking his soul. No, I’m not going to talk about Angel vs. Spike, but rather,Buffy’s agency and autonomy regarding the two vampires receiving their souls.

As just pointed out, Buffy herselfis the one who chooses to re-ensoul Angel. She makes the decision togive Angel back his soul, thereby decided for herself that she is ready to haveAngel back, ready to accept him back into her life, to forgive him and to tryto move on. She makes this decision, using her own autonomy and agency.However, when Spike gets his soul back, he does so without Buffy’s knowledge oracceptance and he therefore forces her into a position she was not readyfor nor had decided she wanted. Spike getting his soul back actually takes awayBuffy’s agency, as it forces her to forgive him, forces her to accept him backinto her life, probably before she was ready to, whereas because Buffy choseto have Angel re-ensouled, she wasn’t forced into a position of forgivenessagainst her will. But I digress.

Becoming contains some wonderfulcharacterisation for not only Buffy and Angel, but most of the other maincharacters too. Willow’s Start of Darkness actually has its beginnings as earlyas this episode, as she insists on casting the re-ensouling spell, mentioningthat she has been researching the Dark Arts for “educational fun”. That rightthere, is a huge red warning sign, showing that Willow is already at this earlystage delving into magics she’s not ready to handle. When she eventuallysucceeds in casting the spell, the power she channels is a clear indicator of justhow much latent power Willow has residing inside her. Jenny previouslymentioned that the magics used to re-ensoul Angel were lost, even to herpeople, yet Willow, a seventeen-year-old girl who has never attempted magicbefore, somehow manages to channel enough power to cast a spell which is over acentury old. If this isn’t an indicator of Willow’s darker path and subsequentpower thirst, I don’t know what it. It’s actually quite alarming, when onethinks about it.

Xander too gets some goodcharacterisation, despite him not coming off so well in this episode. I’vespoken about it before and Lord knows I will speak about it until the day Idie, but despite his asshole-ish tendencies, I really believe that there issomething deeper at play with Xander regarding Angel being re-ensouled andreceiving a second chance, and that something is Jesse’s death. When Jesse –someone whom Xander knew for years and cared for deeply – was turned, no oneever mentioned the possibility of redemption or change for Jesse. Instead,Xander was told, in no uncertain terms, that Jesse was gone and that the demonwho wore his face must be killed. Xander was then the one to actuallykill Jesse. I cannot stress enough how much of an impact this would have had onXander, the trauma he probably felt, and his only rationalization was thatvampires were evil and therefore Jesse was evil and he, Xander, had no choicebut to kill him.

Then, along comes Angel, thevampire with a soul, the man Buffy loves, allowed to live, allowed to be amember of the Scoobie gang. And Xander thinks, why wasn’t his friend allowedthe same chance, why wasn’t Jesse saved the same way Angel was. But Xander,despite what the fandom believes, actually does tolerate Angel while he has asoul (“Angel’s our friend! Except I don’t like him.”) Then Angel loses hissoul, and he becomes the demon that Xander was told Jesse was, yet Buffydoesn’t kill him, doesn’t hunt him. No one is pushing Buffy to kill him. And soXander sees the unfairness in this, the injustice of him having to kill hisbest friend but Buffy not only allowing Angelus to live, but offering him asecond chance. So he acts like a dick, throws Jenny’s death in Buffy’s face andutters the “Kick his ass” line. Because he never got over Jesse’s death, andbeing so young and immature, can’t see the bigger picture, only the injustice.And that’s why, after many years, I have been able to forgive Xander’s actionsin this episode.

Becoming showcases not only thecharacters’ emerging development, but also the development and stages of all ofthe romantic relationships. Willow’s and Oz’s relationship is shown to begetting deeper and more involved, as she calls out for Oz upon waking in thehospital, despite Xander’s declaration of love just moments before. Xander andCordelia embrace and kiss with genuine tenderness and affection, for probablythe first time this season, showing that their relationship is slowly evolvingbeyond that of a purely physical one. Giles’ relationship with Jenny is alsotouched upon, through Drusilla’s manipulations, showing how much Giles stillloves and grieves her (Giles’ torture is one of the few things I will neverforgive Angelus for, and I will always stand behind Giles and his attitudetowards Angel, even after Angel is re-ensouled). But the true emotional crux ofthis episode belongs to Buffy and Angel, and the tragic climax of the episodewhich sees Buffy having to kill Angel to save the world.

Ever since Angel turned intoAngelus, Buffy has spent her time building towards a mind frame wherein shewill be able to kill him (and failing miserably at that). Despite the fact thatAngelus is almost completely different to Angel, Buffy still can’t see past theface of her former lover, and time and again she lets Angelus go when sheeasily could have killed him. However, the dire circumstances in this episodefinally push her to the point where she is able to kill Angelus, and she goesinto the final fight ready to do what needs to be done.

Which is why it is all the moretragic when Angel is re-ensouled mere moments before Buffy is about tokill him. The horror and devastation on Buffy’s face as she realises what’shappened says it all. She went to the mansion to kill the demon wearing herformer lover’s face, not to end the man she loves with all her heart. Herresolve and dedication to saving the world is heartbreaking, as she tearfullytells Angel to close his eyes, before driving the sword through him. Sarah’sacting in this scene is phenomenal, as she portrays Buffy’s grief and horror atwhat she’s been forced to do. It’s interesting that at this point in theseries, Buffy is willing to sacrifice Angel to save the world, but by Season 5,she has become so broken by everything she’s faced that she is unable tosacrifice Dawn, choosing instead to let the world burn. It definitely says a lotabout Buffy’s mental state and how broken down and fractured her psyche becomesover the following seasons, and if we’re honest, this was probably the start ofit all, this first time her Slaying affected her on such a deep and personallevel.

I could honestly write so muchmore about this episode, given that I haven’t even really touched on Kendra’sdeath, or the flashbacks involving Drusilla and Angelus, not to mention Darla’sreappearance, but I believe I’ve rambled for long enough. All up, Becoming is agreat episode, definitely on of BtVS’s best. Well-written, beautifully acted,nicely paced and containing one of the most tragic climaxes of the series,Becoming deserves to be remembered as one of the greatest episodes of theWhedonverse.

[larksinging]

James Cd Case Packet: Mix Notes

alright here’s another long post about my song choices for this mix

THE HARDEST THING

i wanted another sh2 mix that was less industrial/hard rock than those tend to be so i made this. i have less to say about some of these songs because i feel some of it is a little bit more... self-evident?

i. the view - modest mouse

“If life's not beautiful without the pain / well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again / Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer / And it feels pretty soft to me [...]  For every good deed done there is a crime committed”

 i feel this one is just a good mood setter for how like... overall fucked up james’ situation is. his situation does stem from getting hit with something awful and tragic and struggling to deal with that. what really sold it for me was the “for every good deed done there is a crime committed” with the radio static-y distortions

“You loved her, right?”

ii. satin in a coffin - modest mouse

“Are you here right now  / or are there probably fossils under your meat? [...] Are you dead or are you sleepin'?  / God I sure hope you are dead. /  Well now the blow's been softened / since the ocean is our coffin / Often times you know our laughter / is your coffin ever after.”

“ Or maybe... you hated her." 

i wanted to do some more messing with duality via song choices, so here we have two songs by the same artist back to back. besides the fixation on death in this song, i chose it as the flip side of the love/hate issue with james and mary. after all, there are times james wished she was dead, weren’t there?

iii. my secret friend (remix) - IAMX

“Oh take me to the river / My secret friend / So we can swim forever”

setting up another duality, but this one is mostly mood. think of it as james entering silent hill - the eerie and vaguely foreboding mood of the song sort of captures the fogworld. also, water themes. 

iv. vices - brand new

“Those days are dead / (forgive me) / We need vices to wave to the good old days / She said goodbye to the ground / She said goodbye to the ground”

wow it would be SURE NICE if this song could ACTUALLY PLAY ON THE MIX. anyways. this song starts out soft and gentle, like some old style song, and then shifts very suddenly into a much harder rock. that felt very appropriate. anyway the concepts of something lost and a need for vices, or sin/something carnal seems... very appropriate for james

v. kettering - the antlers

“I wish that I had known in that first minute we met, the unpayable debt that I owed you”

it’s the first in a series! honestly you could probably just put on the antler’s hospice album and practically call that a sh2 mix, but, you know. a lot of the themes are similar - the struggle of losing someone, dealing with the slow death of a loved one, the strained relationship that follows and abuse. while james and mary are nowhere near as unhealthy as the couple in hospice, at they end things definitely got bad. it still works very well

vi. get out (acoustic) - circa survive

“I can't get started from the part where I left off yesterday / Should've spent my time a little wiser / I sat alone guilty as sin waiting for words to come / From out of my head still making sense to anyone [...]  Lock myself up in a room without a window just to see / If it was any easier to breathe / I was wrong”

i like this song for the sense of confusion from the weight of the burden. there’s a kind of self-destructive desperation in the pursuit of understand that honestly characterizes james’ pursuit of “mary”. also, suffocation themes. while the original version is more energetic and jarring, i felt the slightly subdued acoustic version was more appropriate here

vii. daisy - brand new

“I'm a river that is all dried up / I'm an ocean nothing floats on [...]  Well if we take all these things  / and we bury them fast [...]  Or if the sky opened up and started pouring rain / Like he knew it was time / to start things over again / It'd be all right, it's all right / it'd be easier that way” 

james is a... conflicted person, and i like the chaotic mood of this song to represent this. there’s a sense of self-loathing and uselessness that really speaks to the heart of james’ character. the mix of wanting to move forward and also being stuck on the past and the easy route. also, water themes. also, another duality, since there are two songs by brand new 

viii. my secret friend - IAMX (feat. Imogen Heap)

“My secret friend/ I'll take you to the river / My secret friend / So we can swim forever / In your skin / To die a little death / This time there's no code word / When everyday frays in hollow ends / Dream sweet love submissive”

the original version of the remix from earlier. this one feels a bit darker, more subdued, which i feel reflects how one’s perception of the town as you go along. i also like that this is a duet, which seems... appropriate. also, water themes.

ix. against the tide - celldweller

“Under the waves we're sinking like a stone / I'm sorry son, you're reaping what you've sown [...]  This sorrow weighs down on my shoulders / This fear is getting harder to hide / You'll leave me alone in this darkness /Left to hold out /Against the tide” 

james is crushed by the weight of his own actions. “you’re reaping what you sow” - this is, ultimately, james’ doing. maybe a song for pyramid head? anyway i feel the theme of this is pretty clear in its relationship to james. also, to beat a dead horse, water themes! this may also be the closest to the sh vocal track sound as this mix gets

x. holocaust - jordaan mason (original by big star)

“Your mother's dead / You're on your own / She's in her bed” 

replace “mother” with “wife” and... well. the mood and feeling of this song is the most mary-ish of them all, and i chose it to capture the quiet misery and hopelessness of that whole situation. listening to this song doesn’t feel good in a really purposeful way. 

xi. epilogue - the antlers

“I think you buried me awake (my one and only parting gift) / But you return to me at night / Just when I think I may have fallen asleep / Your face is up against mine / And I'm too terrified to speak / You're screaming / And cursing / And angry / And hurting me / And then smiling / And crying / Apologizing”

another song off of hospice. the scenario of seeing a dead loved one in a dream as a nightmare is... basically james’ silent hill experience? anyway i feel this captures more than anything the complexity of emotions going on between them during mary’s last day. as if the lines i quoted above aren’t basically the hallway conversation

xii. kings of medicine - placebo

“Don't leave me here to pass through time / Without a map or road sign / Don't leave me here, my guiding light / 'Cause I, I wouldn't know where to begin / I ask the kings of medicine / But it seems they've lost their power / Now all I'm left with is the hour”

this mix needed a song that was completely and purely just james’ grief. kings of medicine is an expression of - a healthier kind of grief, maybe? it comes at the end of the mix as james’ grief through the lens of the truth. or maybe in the past? but the explicitness of being lost without mary. i like just the pure power of this song

xiii. vindicated - dashboard confessional 

“I am Vindicated / I am selfish / I am wrong / I am right, I swear I'm right / I swear I knew it all along / And I am flawed  / But I am cleaning up so well / I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself [...]  Just one touch and I'd be in / Too deep now to ever swim against the current / So let me slip away [...]  Slight hope / It dangles on a string / Like slow spinning redemption...”

the thing about silent hill - about james’ story - is, at the end of it, there is a sliver of hope. i mean, more or less depending on the ending, but there is always the possibility of growth. of... healing? james reaches a point where he has the opportunity to move forward. mary forgives him, mary asks him to do what’s best for him/live for himself. that’s what this song is - the flicker of hope, the ability for james to become a better person. also: water themes!

xiv. wake - the antlers

“It was easier to lock the doors and kill the phones than to show my skin / because the hardest thing is never to repent for someone else / it's letting people in [...] Some patients can't be saved, but that burden's not on you.”

how could i not end with another song from hospice? wake is the song that likewise has that glimmer of hope, but in this case it represents a move towards self-forgiveness. after all, mary is dead, her last will and testament is just the letter. it’s ultimately james who has to forgive himself. while uh there is a bit more legitimate blame in mary’s death, her illness was something that was never his fault. if the last song is the final boss battle and mary cutscene, this is mary’s letter

i could have included something to indicate at all of the endings (none of these, for example, really gesture towards in water or maria). there might be a slight lean towards leave, but i like to think it matches just the games’ mood in general. i have a few songs that were cut - most notably fever dreams by circa survive (replaced with get out), but most of my ideas made it on.