#And that she's somehow conflicted about the messed up shit she's done and continues to do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xxdragonwriterxx · 4 years

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🔥The Secret Compartment🔥

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“Oh come on, Erwin! I know you’re just as curious as I am!” Hanji whined, leaning with her palms flat against the Commander’s desk, her eyes shining behind her glasses.

“Hanji, it would be wrong,” Erwin said with a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

“Who cares about moral principles? Levi is out for a few hours, this would be the perfect time to do it! You know there won’t be another chance like this again soon, we need to take advantage of it and see exactly what he is hiding from us!”

Erwin met Hanji’s excited gaze, knowing she would not drop this until she got what she wanted. He sighed again, trying to fight off the headache that was forming against his skull. About a month ago, both Erwin and Hanji had noticed a locked drawer attached to Levi’s desk. The pair always knew that their friend was a private person, but it was the only drawer that had a lock on it. There was even one time when Hanji had burst into his office without knocking, only to see him quickly and violently slam the drawer shut with a glare in her direction. They had questioned him on it, only to be met with annoyed scowls and complaints about everyone sticking their noses into his business.

Erwin would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious, but his anxiety over what would happen if they were caught overwhelmed his desire to see the contents of that drawer. Hanji, on the other hand, had been tailing Levi like a dog with a bone, nearly foaming at the mouth as she continuously attempted to get a sneak peek.

“Come on, Erwin. I can almost guarantee you that it’ll be worth it. Levi could be hiding anything in that drawer. It could be embarrassing things he did as a child, or a secret about his life, or a guilty pleasure he’s hiding. There might even be a diary or journal of some sort in there!” Hanji said.

“I don’t know if I even really want to read Levi’s diary, Hanji. That thing could have anything written inside,” Erwin said.

Hanji threw him a look and Erwin crossed his arms with a frown. Damn, this woman was persistent.

“We might even be able to use whatever is inside as blackmail if he ever tries to threaten us again. Like when he threatened to tell everyone about the time you got drunk and started going on about creating a new order stating all of the women in the Corps have to sleep with you,” Hanji said, a wide grin spreading across her face at the sight of Erwin’s paled features.

“Fine,” Erwin said. “But if we get caught, I’ll feed you to your titans. After Levi is done breaking off both of his feet in our asses.”

Hanji squealed in excitement and grabbed the Commander’s hand, dragging him with her to Levi’s office. Erwin fought against the nervousness that was clawing in his stomach as he pulled out the ring of keys he had for every office in the Corps, found the one meant for Levi’s door, and put it in the lock. Hanji pushed past him and into Levi’s office as soon as the door was unlocked, looking around with even more excitement than when she was working on her experiments.

Wasting no time, Hanji moved over to Levi’s desk and bent down, pulling a hairpin from her done up bun. The crazy scientist picked at the lock, her tongue sticking out as she concentrated on moving the pin within the gears until a loud click sounded throughout the room. Erwin shuffled from foot to foot at the sound, the Commander glancing at the door from where he stood awkwardly in the center of the immaculate office.

“You better make sure that everything is put back exactly where you found it or he’ll know,” Erwin said with another glance at the door. He knew Levi was in town for the afternoon but he was still expecting the short raven-haired man to pop up out of nowhere, as if he knew his private belongings were being messed with.

“Erwin…”

The sound of Hanji’s voice, filled with awe and surprise, made Erwin turn to look at her. She was holding what looked like a large, leatherbound notebook, her mouth agape and her eyes wide and sparkling. Despite the anxiety that was still gnawing at his gut, Erwin’s curiosity won and the Commander slowly moved around the desk to crouch beside Hanji.

“Told you it’d be worth it,” Hanji said with a smirk as she tilted the notebook for Erwin to see. Erwin felt his jaw drop. It was a sketchbook, a beautiful sketchbook that nearly gleamed from the tender care Levi had obviously subjected it to. The leather was smooth and cool against Erwin’s calloused hands and the pages were soft to the touch.

“I didn’t even know Levi liked art, let alone that he could draw, especially like this,” Hanji said, her eyes shining as she looked down at the sketches on each page. Some of the pages just had small little doodles while others had full scale scenes and portraits, all of which were immaculately detailed. One page held drawings of kittens playing around, while another was a giant drawing of all of the superior officers standing at attention in a large field.

Neither of them could believe it. All of the drawings were stunning, each mark carefully constructed and purposeful. They probably wouldn’t have believed they were Levi’s drawings if it weren’t for his signature at the bottom of each page.

“Holy shit,” Erwin breathed when he came across an image of Levi’s black stallion, Azriel, the sketch so realistic that he could almost feel the animal’s fur through the page.

“Yeah,” Hanji murmured in response as she continued to flip through the book. Erwin tore his eyes from the drawings for a moment to peer into the unlocked drawer, reaching in to study the wide variety of pencils, paints, charcoals, and colored pencils that lay neatly at the bottom.

He had only been looking at the art supplies for a moment, when Hanji’s breath caught. The Commander automatically looked up at the door, fear lurching in his gut at the thought that Levi had come back, only to find that the door was still shut firmly. Looking down at Hanji, he saw she was grinning like a cat, her gaze flashing with mischievous intent as she looked at one of the pages. Erwin refocused his attention on the sketchbook and grunted in surprise when he saw the drawing in Hanji’s hand.

It was a drawing of (Y/N) (L/N), one of their fellow superior officers. (Y/N) was a Captain in her own right, leading her own squad of efficient warriors that rivalled even the famed Levi Squad. She was a well loved soldier, her compassionate personality combined with her ability to make almost anyone laugh making her a very popular member of the scouts. Despite her vibrant personality, she was also known to be a very talented soldier with a cool headed approach to conflict and a strength that often surprised most people who met her. She refused to take bullshit from anyone, and wasn’t afraid to release the filter on her barbed tongue when necessary, easily putting people in their place.

The drawing was downright gorgeous, by far the most beautiful out of all of the drawings in the book. He had used color when drawing her, one of the very few sketches in which he did, the image coming to life with the splashes of color and detailed features. The image looked as if she could turn her head and wave at them right then, the drawing so realistic it was breathtaking. In the drawing, (Y/N) was laughing, her eyes closed and her head tilted back slightly, her (h/c) hair cascading behind her. Her lips were parted in a wide grin as she laughed, one of her hands just barely touching her chin, as if she had been trying to cover her mouth only to give up when the giggles became too intense.

Hanji and Erwin looked at each other, their eyes wide with shock. Levi had done many portraits throughout the entire sketchbook, even having drawn some of Erwin and Hanji, but this sketch of (Y/N) was by far the most detailed, the most realistic. It was clear that Levi had spent hours upon hours drawing her, each stroke of his pencil done with immense love and care.

The two officers were quiet as Hanji flipped the page, their shock mounting somehow higher as they found more drawings of (Y/N). Hanji ran her finger through the pages once, flipping through the rest of the used pages to find that all of them were of (Y/N). Going back to the page they were on, Erwin and Hanji admired each illustration. Some of the drawings had color just like the first one they found of (Y/N), while others were just black and white, albeit no less detailed.

There were sketches of (Y/N) standing in a sparring stance, riding her horse, shouting down a noble, wielding a sword, reading a book. All of the drawings in the rest of the sketchbook were of her doing different things, each drawing lovingly crafted to make them look as realistic as possible.

Erwin’s eyebrows shot up into his hair and Hanji let out a surprised squawk of laughter when they flipped to one drawing of (Y/N) in a very suggestive position, her (e/c) eyes half lidded and filled with lust, the love in her gaze shining at them even through the page. She was laying down, her hair splayed out on top of the pillow, with her arms crossed over her exposed breasts. A sheet was covering her lower half, but it was hanging tantalizingly low on her form.

Hanji cackled as Erwin covered his eyes and quickly ripped the book from her hands, tearing to the next page, his ears turning pink at the sight of such a provocative image of one of his Captains. Hanji laughed even harder when the next page contained a similar image, this time with (Y/N) leaning back in obvious pleasure, her eyes closed tightly and her mouth open, her palms splayed flat on the ground behind her, her lower half disappearing off the edge of the page.

Erwin dropped the book as if burned and turned away, his face flushed. Hanji snickered at his embarrassment and grabbed the book again, looking at the few pages of (Y/N) in different arousing positions. Despite the inappropriate theme of the sketches, Levi seemed to keep it relatively modest, never drawing anything that exposed the most private places of her body, merely hinting at it rather than drawing it in detail.

Hanji motioned Erwin back over when she finally got through Levi’s “personal” sketches, finally reaching the last drawing in the sketchbook. The final sketch was a beautiful illustration of the pretty Squad Leader staring out the window, her chin resting on her palm as she watched rain slide down the glass pane. There was a single candle on the table with her, the darkness of the night held back by the small circle of flame, her face accented by the light of the candle, her skin colored with a honeyed glow.

“Wow, Levi sure has been busy,” Hanji said softly as they admired the picture.

“I’ve been busy doing what?” A gruff voice suddenly said, causing both officers to freeze, their eyes wide with terror as an icy feeling of dread shot through their veins.

The pair looked up to see Levi leaning against the door frame, not yet aware of what they were doing due to his desk obscuring his view.

“What the hell are you doing on the floor? And why are you with Shitty Glasses, Erwin? I thought you were busy filling out all of those proposals, which was why you couldn’t come with me into town.”

When neither of them answered, Levi pushed off of the wall and strode towards his desk, a scowl of annoyance on his face.

“Oi, did you two hit your heads or something? What are you doing in-”

Levi stopped dead, his face draining of color when he rounded the desk to find Hanji holding his sketchbook open in her lap, both of them pouring over the pictures inside. He glanced at the drawer and saw the hairpin still sticking out of the lock, the metal bent to jack open the gears.

His eyes flew over the drawing they were looking at, his most recent one of (Y/N) looking out at the rain. Embarrassment washed over him then and he closed his eyes as he realized they had looked through the entire sketchbook. He felt a dark rage bubble up in his chest, boosted by his embarrassment. When he opened his eyes again, they were hard and filled with fire.

Erwin and Hanji both flinched at that look, shame flooding over them as they both glanced down at the book in Hanji’s hands. They knew they shouldn’t have done this. Hanji didn’t regret opening his locked drawer but once they figured out what he was hiding they should’ve put it back. Obviously he had hidden it in that drawer because it was his private book, something he wanted nobody else to see, and for good reason.

“Levi I-” Hanji started only for his nearly feral growl to cut her off.

Levi leaned down and snatched the book out of her grasp and hoisted it under his arm, throwing a deadly glare in their direction. He turned to move the sketchbook somewhere else but paused when he realized there was no other place he could put it without other people noticing it. His locked drawer had been the one safe place for it, the one place where nobody was supposed to be able to reach it.

Levi ended up pacing in frustration as he frantically searched for a place to put it, to no avail. The raven-haired man eventually collapsed onto the couch in the center of the room, sliding the sketchbook onto the coffee table in front of him and putting his head in his hands. He had no idea what to do. He didn’t even want to look at the two people he thought were his friends, not just because he was furious with them but also because of the shame that was hammering against his heart. They had to have seen all of the drawings of (Y/N). There was no way they didn’t if they had reached the end of his filled pages. Which meant they had seen everything.

He had never meant to draw her like that. He honestly hadn’t meant to draw her at all, afraid that if he did, it would be admitting to himself the feelings he had for her. But even though he fought it hard, he eventually succumbed to the urge to draw her when he saw her laughing at a joke he had told her, the moment so perfect he just had to put it on paper before it faded from his mind. He guessed that must have been the moment of his downfall, because after he had drawn one picture, he felt compelled to do more until his sketchbook was filled almost completely with drawings of her.

The more he drew her, the more time he spent around her, his mind subconsciously watching for more perfect moments to paint onto a page, his feelings for her growing until he was completely in love with her. The drawings had gotten more suggestive, his hand moving as if it had a mind of its own as his hunger for her grew. He had never crossed the line of drawing her completely exposed, not wanting to shame her like that, not when they weren’t even in a relationship, but he had gotten pretty close when his hormones started controlling his hand rather than his brain.

Even though he had never been vulgar with his illustrations, he knew what Erwin and Hanji must have thought when they saw it. Knew how disgusted they must be with him after seeing such things in his sketchbook. He feared they might even tell (Y/N), warn her against him so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Levi clenched his fists. He knew Erwin and Hanji had never done anything like that before, they were his friends and had always supported him, even when he pretended to hate it. But that was before they saw everything.

“Levi?”

Levi ignored the sound of Erwin calling his name, keeping his hands cupped over his face in mortification. Levi tensed a little when he felt Erwin and Hanji sit down on either side of him, but still refused to look at them, afraid to see the condemnation in their eyes.

“Levi, look up please. We are genuinely sorry about looking through your sketchbook,” Erwin said softly.

Levi looked up to throw him a filthy glare before he leaned back into the couch cushions with a sad sigh, his eyes closing as he fought the shame that reared up in his chest. He felt like throwing up. Or beating Hanji and Erwin to a pulp. Or both.

“They’re, um, really beautiful, Levi. I didn’t know you could draw like that,” Hanji offered.

Levi scoffed.

“They are! Seriously, they look like you could walk right into them. I didn’t even know you liked drawing but here you are with a book full of masterpieces,” Hanji said incredulously in response to his obvious doubt.

“Oh come on, Hanji,” Levi said, piercing her with his stare. “I know you saw them, don’t play dumb. You saw them and now I feel like a perverted bastard.”

“There’s nothing wrong with drawing (Y/N), Levi. You did a wonderful job, really made her look beautiful,” Erwin said, resting a hand on Levi’s shoulder.

“Sure, there is nothing wrong with drawing her, but there is something wrong with drawing her, like that,” Levi snapped wholly embarrassed.

“Levi, relax! You did it because you love her and it is your personal sketchbook, not meant for any eyes but your own. We know you struggle with expression, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. This was just your way of expressing those feelings, an outlet. We were never meant to see it, I’m sorry that we ever did,” Hanji said, her eyes full of sympathy for her mortified friend.

Levi looked at her, doubt still swimming in his eyes.

“It’s true, Levi. Not only that, but you have real talent. I never would’ve thought of you as an artist but you know what you’re doing. Why did you hide this from us? I think it’s really cool that you know how to draw so well,” Erwin said.

“Because it is a useless passion to have,” Levi said. “I am Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, fighting to save the human race in a world filled with man-eating monsters from hell. Being able to draw pretty pictures is pointless; I can’t exactly kill titans with a pencil. The only reason I ever let myself do it in the first place is because I need to distract myself with something mindless sometimes.”

“What are you talking about!?” Hanji squawked. “This is the coolest thing ever! Can you draw another picture of me? I think I need to have more of an obvious presence in that sketchbook.”

Levi scowled at her but sighed softly at the relief that washed over him as the bespeckled woman lightened the mood.

“No, I am never drawing you ever again, Shitty Glasses. I only did that once because I was feeling sick and wanted something to help me throw up.”

Hanji pretended to act offended, gasping dramatically and placing her hand against her chest.

Erwin chuckled at the pair and patted Levi’s shoulder comfortingly. Levi sent a weak glare in his direction but the Commander knew he was grateful.

“Hey, speaking of an obvious presence…,” Hanji said, a borderline evil grin creeping onto her face. “You have the hots for (Y/N).”

Levi growled something Hanji chose not to hear and smiled even wider.

“Why didn’t you say anything? You know she is one of my best friends, I could’ve set you guys up!” Hanji said.

“That is exactly why I didn’t tell you,” Levi said. “I don’t trust you to not do something embarrassing on my behalf.”

Hanji scoffed at him and sent him a playful glare, one that he returned followed by a choice hand gesture.

“Well, now that we know, why don’t you confess to her? From the dates written on all of your drawings, you’ve been dealing with this for a while.”

Levi coughed awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. “I don’t know how,” he mumbled.

“What are you talking about, Levi? You have it easy. Most people would have to buy flowers, or food, or do something else to get the source of their affections to notice them, but you won’t have to do that. You have everything right in front of you. Just give her one of your drawings, and she will surely get the message,” Erwin said with a knowing smirk.

“That’s a great idea! I’m sure she’ll absolutely love one!” Hanji squealed, clapping her hands together like an energetic toddler.

Levi thought for a minute, leaning back against the couch cushions. It could work. He had never purposely shown his drawings to anyone, but maybe trying something like this would be enough to win her heart. Nervousness wormed its way into his gut as he thought about it. What if she hated it? What if she didn’t care, turned him away without a second glance? What if she thought it was creepy or flat out didn’t like the drawing? Levi swallowed.

“Do you really think that would work?” Levi mumbled. “I do not want to fuck this up. Even if we can’t be together, she is one of the few people I call my friend, and I do not want to ruin the relationship I currently have with her because I’m inept at flirting.”

Hanji nodded enthusiastically, her glasses sliding down her nose at the movement. “Oh definitely. She’s going to think they are stunning! And we can be here to help you, if you want us to. Which one do you think you would give her?”

Levi looked at both Erwin and Hanji in turn, rolling his eyes at their identical cheshire grins. He figured he must be crazy, absolutely fucking insane, but he really could use their help, as much as he refused to admit it out loud.

Regardless of his attempts to hide his desperation, Erwin and Hanji saw right through him, their grins spreading wider as Levi scowled at them.

“Alright…,” Levi sighed, getting up from the couch and making his way back to the open drawer, making Erwin and Hanji arch their eyebrows in confusion when he passed by the sketchbook still resting on the coffee table.

“I’ve had this saved for a while. I didn’t want to put it with the others, it’s my favorite one.”

Erwin and Hanji looked up to see Levi pull out the bottom of the drawer to reveal a hidden compartment. The pair watched curiously as their friend pulled out a piece of paper that was significantly larger than the rest and turned it around for them to see.

“Well? What do you think?” Levi demanded.

____________________________

(Y/N) was walking back from the Mess Hall with her friends when a young scout came running up to her, claiming Captain Levi needed to see her in his office as soon as possible. She smiled brightly at the cadet and thanked him, before turning to her friends and waving goodbye, changing her course to head for Levi’s quarters.

(Y/N)’s stomach fluttered with butterflies as she got closer to his door but she quickly shoved them down and shook her head. She needed to focus. He was probably wanting to talk to her about the upcoming mission and what her plan was for her squad since she had missed the last meeting with the other superiors thanks to an injury she received when she saved a rookie cadet during ODM training, resulting in her crashing into a tree.

She chuckled to herself at the memory of Levi furiously chewing out the cadet afterwards. She had felt so bad for the poor kid, it had been an accident, but Levi had been no less upset by the fact that she got hurt. The thought sent more tingles up her spine and she growled in frustration, forcing herself to push her feelings to the back of her mind.

Her head finally cleared when she reached his door and knocked, smiling to herself when she heard his deep voice grant her entrance to his office. When she opened the door she found Levi facing away from her, watching something outside his window, Commander Erwin and Squad Leader Hanji standing along the far wall of the room. (Y/N) raised her eyebrows at the sight of them but saluted without hesitation, smiling when Erwin waved her off with a chuckle.

“I’m assuming because the two of you are here that this is about the details of the last meeting I missed?” (Y/N) asked, closing Levi’s door behind her with her foot.

Hanji smiled so wide her cheeks hurt as she shook her head. “Actually, no. Levi wanted to talk to you about something. Erwin and I were just leaving.”

Erwin nodded in agreement and pushed off from the wall he had been leaning against, his own lips twitching as he fought the grin that tried to run across his face.

(Y/N) watched them in confusion as the pair walked around her and left the room, Hanji’s barely concealed giggle echoing in her ear when they passed. Arching an eyebrow at her two fellow senior officers, (Y/N) eventually dropped it and turned back to Levi who so far, had not said a word.

“What’s up with them?” (Y/N) asked, trying to ease some of the awkward tension that had filled the room.

“They’re just idiots,” Levi said, but something about the way he said it seemed off. Maybe it was the lack of conviction. Or maybe it was the quiet, almost hushed way he said it, as if he wasn’t thinking about the odd behavior of their two friends at all, too lost in his own world to pay attention. (Y/N)’s brow furrowed in concern. This was not like the Levi she knew, something was wrong.

“Hey, Levi, what’s going on? You don’t sound like yourself.”

Levi tensed. Damn her for being so observant. He should’ve known she would automatically pick up on his off behavior. She had always been able to read him like a book, it was part of the reason why they were so close, why their friendship worked so well. (Y/N) had always been able to figure out exactly how he was feeling or what he needed at any given moment, why would this be any different?

“(Y/N),” Levi started, taking a deep, shaky breath as he tried to ignore her intense gaze on him. He knew she was worried, but her eyes on him were making him feel nervous. He almost wanted to bail, to claim it was just to help her recap on the meeting she had missed. He even had half a mind to bury his sketchbook, never to be seen again. It would hurt him, to lose that book, and despite what he said, he did love to draw, and having that taken away would be difficult, but at least he wouldn’t have to go through all of this anxiety.

But then he thought about (Y/N). She was standing right there, waiting for him. She had always been by his side, always caring for him, even when he felt he did not deserve it. She made him feel so loved, so strong, so hopeful. He knew that if he didn’t tell her how he felt now, it would drive him to insanity. He had to do this. Clearing his throat, he started again.

“(Y/N), I called you in here because I have to give you something,” Levi said.

“Really?” (Y/N) asked. Now she was really confused.

“Yes.”

“Okay, thank you Levi. What would you like me to do?” (Y/N) asked, keeping her voice soft and steady. It was obvious he was struggling a bit and she wanted to make him feel as comfortable as possible.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” Levi directed.

(Y/N) followed his orders and closed her eyes with her hands held out. She was worried about him, and even a little bit frightened for herself, but she couldn’t deny the curiosity that was gnawing at her gut. What could her fellow Captain have to give her other than reports to finish, or a sword to fight with, or a cup of tea?

She was surprised when she felt something very light and thin land on her opened palms. Her brows furrowed in confusion but she kept her eyes closed, waiting for him. Levi paused once he had rested the picture in her arms. He knew she was waiting for him before she opened her eyes but he couldn’t help but hesitate for a minute. This was it. The moment of truth. Either she was going to love it and his dreams might finally come true, or she was going to hate it and he was going to lose the best thing to come into his life. Taking a deep breath, Levi leaned against the wall as he told her to open her eyes.

(Y/N) gasped loudly when she opened her eyes. In her hands was the most beautiful drawing she had ever seen. It was a picture of her, so realistic she felt as if she were looking in a mirror. In the image, she was sitting bareback on her dapple grey mare, Danika. Danika had her head up and her ears forward, looking off to the side of the page while (Y/N) leaned against her neck, her chest touching her horse’s withers and her arms on either side of the mare’s neck. In the sketch, (Y/N) had the biggest smile on her face, her eyes shining with a brilliant (e/c). Her (h/c) hair looked as if you could reach out and feel it through the page, the strands blowing in the wind.

Levi didn’t say anything as he watched her take it in, crossing his arms and subconsciously biting his lip as he waited for her response. He had drawn this image of her ages ago. It was one of the first few he had drawn of her and it was by far his favorite. He had known that day, when he was striding across the courtyard headed for the training ground, and he turned to see (Y/N) riding Danika, smiling as if she were the embodiment of happiness, that he was head over heels in love with her.

He had even abandoned his idea of training to rush back to his office, eager to put the picture of her in his head onto paper. It was his favorite one because it captured the exact moment he truly came to accept his feelings for her. It was the one he had always saved for when he was having a bad day, keeping it separated from the others so he could find it easily whenever he needed it, just the sight of her making him feel better.

Suddenly, tears formed in her eyes and Levi felt his panic rise. Oh gods, she hated it. He never meant to make her cry! He had thought it might bring her the same level of joy he got from seeing it, but instead he had just made her sad, or disgusted, or angry. He honestly couldn’t tell which one it was, not that it mattered, it was obvious she was offended by it regardless of the specific emotion it invoked. Maybe she didn’t like the way he had drawn her. He thought she looked absolutely stunning, but maybe he had accidentally accented certain features she was self conscious about? Maybe she hated her smile? Maybe she just didn’t like having her fellow Captain drawing her like a creep when they weren’t even in a relationship?

Levi quickly moved to take it from her, apologies spilling from his mouth like a river. He didn’t even know what he was saying, he was sure he was just blabbering about nonsense at this point, but he didn’t really have the mind to care as he grabbed the drawing from her and moved to put it away. He was even planning on throwing it out after she left. He absolutely adored this drawing but if she hated it, he would not make her more uncomfortable by stashing it for his own desire.

“I’m s-so sorry, (Y/N), I’ll just get rid of it,” Levi said, cursing himself for stuttering. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, I just thought-”

“NO!” (Y/N) shouted, making him look at her in shock.

(Y/N)’s eyes were wide as she looked at the drawing in his hand. She had honestly been rendered speechless when she first saw it, overwhelmed with the tsunami of emotions that had crashed over her. She knew he struggled with expression, so the fact that he had gone out of his way to draw her as a form of confession had brought tears to her eyes, her heart throbbing with her love for this man.

(Y/N) had loved Levi ever since they had become good friends, laughing at his surprisingly funny dry humor, ranting to him when her squad was annoying her, holding him when he had no one else to go to and life just got too hard. But she would’ve never guessed in a million years that he returned her feelings. She had just assumed her feelings would forever be unrequited and forced herself to enjoy what they had, loving him in secret. But here he was, holding his heart out to her, offering her his love and affection in exchange for hers. She almost panicked when he snatched the drawing away, thinking he had offended her with it.

“No…?” Levi asked hopefully, uncertainty sparkling in his breathtaking silver gaze.

“No, don’t you dare throw that masterpiece away,” (Y/N) said firmly, brushing the tears from her eyes.

“So you…, like it?” Levi asked.

(Y/N) finally managed to pull herself together, clearing away the love induced haze that had clouded her brain and striding up to him confidently. When she reached him, she gently took hold of the hand not holding the drawing with both of hers, her eyes meeting his gaze. She blushed at how close she was to him, and had the urge to look away when his intense hues settled on her, but she held firm. She knew he was uncertain, she had to show him exactly how she felt without hesitation, otherwise he would think she was pitying him.

“I love it, Levi. It is one of the most gorgeous things I have ever seen. I can tell it took you hours with all of the detail and color and expression. It looks so real, like looking in the mirror. It is the greatest gift I have ever gotten, from anyone. Thank you.”

Levi sucked in a breath at her words, his eyes wide. She really thought all of that? He had hoped she would like it but he did not expect this reaction at all. In the back of his mind, Levi made a mental note to thank Hanji and Erwin after this was over.

“You really think so?” Levi asked.

“I know so.”

Levi swallowed thickly. “Does that mean…, you accept my confession?”

More tears pricked (Y/N)’s eyes but she nodded enthusiastically, calming his fears and making him release a breath of knee-wobbling relief. He barely had a moment before she launched herself at him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she hugged him. Levi was a little stunned at first, but eventually slid the drawing onto his desk before wrapping his arms around her tentatively, still getting used to the contact.

“Yes, yes I accept your confession, Levi. I have loved you for a long time, I couldn’t be happier knowing that my feelings aren’t one sided.”

Levi’s heart jolted at her confession. “I love you too, (Y/N).”

___________________________

(Y/N) hummed happily as she skipped around Levi’s office, cleaning around the room while she waited for her boyfriend to get back from his one on one meeting with Erwin. Her heart fluttered as she thought about the surprisingly sweet, socially awkward man she was so damn lucky to call her own, smiling widely while she cleaned.

Their relationship was definitely still new and they were both slowly figuring each other out but (Y/N) had to admit, these past few weeks had been the best of her life. She had been surprised when Levi had confessed to her, but had been even more shocked to discover how long the man had harbored feelings for her, his actions around her telling her exactly how he felt about finally being able to call her his.

(Y/N)’s smile got bigger the more she thought about him and the slightly flustered yet determined way in which he doted on her in an utterly Levi fashion, using his blunt manner and dry sarcasm to fly through his inexperience. (Y/N) moved over to his desk and began to meticulously clean the already polished wood surface as her mind wandered, not really paying much attention to the items on his desk except to gently shift them to give her more space to clean. When she was finally done, she was about to move to another spot when she caught sight of Levi’s third drawer opened just slightly.

With further inspection, it looked as if the drawer had been slammed shut quickly, the rough movement causing the door to bounce back open a little in the process. Under normal circumstances, (Y/N) would’ve just closed the drawer and kept cleaning, but the sight of a leatherbound book caught her attention, her curiosity peaking. Glancing around her to make sure nobody was around, (Y/N) quietly shimmied the drawer open more and grabbed ahold of the book, opening it to lay flat on her lap.

The more she looked through it, the more her face changed from shock, to awe, to wonder as her eyes drank in each stunning drawing in his sketchbook. (Y/N) bit her lip when she reached the middle of the book, her system flashing with heat and surprise at what she saw. Carefully closing the book, (Y/N) slipped it back into the drawer and pushed it closed before standing and making her way to the door like nothing had happened, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she left his office.

_______________________________

Levi looked up when the door to his office opened later that night, a small smile flashing across his face at the sight of his gorgeous lover standing in the doorway. She smiled back at him and sauntered over, her eyes bright as she took in his casual appearance. In (Y/N)’s opinion, Levi looked amazing in everything, but seeing him in a pair of black comfy pants and a loose sleep shirt was hard to beat.

“Are you almost done?” (Y/N) asked once she had made it to him, leaning her hip against his desk.

“Yeah, just finishing up with these last few reports and then we can go to bed. Feel free to head in there whenever you’d like to though,” Levi said.

“Oh, I’ll wait,” (Y/N) said with a coy smile that made Levi pause in his writings. He had never seen that look on (Y/N)’s face before, at least, not in real life. His mind flashed him an image of one of his more provocative drawings of her before he quickly shoved those thoughts to the side, shaking his head a little to clear his mind.

“Do what you want,” Levi said, forcing himself to turn back to his reports.

(Y/N) settled herself on his couch and turned around to face him while he worked, admiring him from over the armrest. Her smile only got wider as she allowed herself to really look at him, his beautiful features making him seem almost painfully attractive.

Levi tried to keep focused on his work, wanting nothing more than to finish up quickly so he could cuddle with his amazing girlfriend, but he kept getting distracted. He could feel (Y/N) staring at him, her eyes on him making the hair on the back of his neck stand up, his nerves tingling. Levi grit his teeth as he attempted once again to read the same sentence he had read twelve times already to no avail, her intense gaze setting him on fire.

‘Focus, idiot! Fucking focus!’ Levi chastised himself despite the hot coil of want that was swirling in his gut. He was trying to be considerate of her and the speed she had set in terms of the physical side of their relationship, but he was finding it harder and harder to appear unfazed when she wouldn’t stop watching him with that expression on her face.

Finally, Levi slammed down his pen and looked up, his scowl deepening when he saw (Y/N) smile innocently at him and his frustration. Forcing himself to take a deep breath and steady his heartbeat, Levi glared half-heartedly at his lover.

“Why the fuck are you staring at me like that, brat?” Levi asked.

(Y/N) smiled even wider and stood from the couch, her hips swaying enticingly as she made her way over to him. Levi could do nothing but freeze in his chair, his breath caught in his throat when she slithered over his thighs, making herself comfortable on his lap. His heart rate skyrocketed when (Y/N) leaned forward, her lips lightly grazing the shell of his ear, her warm breath on his skin making him shiver.

“I saw something, maybe I shouldn’t have…,” (Y/N) said coyly.

Levi froze at her words, panic flooding his system as he thought about his sketchbook. He had no idea how she could’ve found it, but there was nothing else she could be talking about, since he had nothing else he actively kept from her.

“You did?” Levi asked nervously.

“Hmmm,” (Y/N) purred against him. “I did.”

“(Y/N), I am so sorry, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I don’t even know why I drew those pictures of you. I just really love you and I guess it got out of hand but I am so-”

(Y/N) placed a finger to his lips and rolled her eyes affectionately at her lover’s uncharacteristic rambling. Levi immediately stopped talking and waited impatiently for her to condemn him, his face flushing slightly with embarrassment.

(Y/N) leaned in and surprised Levi by capturing his lips, encouraging him to relax until he finally gave in, the tension melting from his muscles as he kissed her back with a quiet groan. When she leaned back, Levi was looking at her with half lidded eyes, his silver hues sparkling with love and wonder for her. Her heart clenched and she smiled genuinely at him before it turned sultry, making Levi’s heart flip. Leaning forward again, (Y/N) nibbled lightly on his earlobe before speaking.

“Next time, Levi, draw me without the sheet.”

815 notes · View notes

kpop-zone · 3 years

Text

Twice reaction to slapping their s/o

Nervously, you leaned to the side to be able to look past the driver at the dashboard clock.

2:47

“Shit...Can you drive a little faster please?”

You asked the driver panicked who gave you a look of commiseration through the rearview mirror.

“I’m sorry, I’d love to but I’m already driving as fast as I can.”

He replied apologetically and you forced a smile to thank him for his effort. You were tempted to offer him some money to make him rethink his reply, but then you figured that you had already messed up enough for one night. You couldn’t afford to get in trouble with him or the police. The only thing that was left to do now was to pray. Pray that your girlfriend had already fallen asleep and hadn’t noticed that you were missing for nearly five hours without any sign of life. You had left your apartment around 6pm to “grab a quick drink” with a few friends, but then one thing had led to the other and now it was almost 3am although you had told your girlfriend that you would be home no later than 10pm. The time had just flown by without you noticing and when you figured that you could sent your girlfriend a sign of life at last, you had realized that your phone was dead. You were sure that she had probably tried to reach you a million times already to no avail and was close to calling the police right now. You just needed to get home as fast as possible.

As soon as the driver pulled up to the building, you threw some bills to the front before bolting out of the car, not caring that you had probably just given him a tip of ₩50,000. The only thought that was left in your brain was to free your girlfriend from the anxiety that she was probably feeling right now. By the time you reached the front door, your lungs were slightly burning and you were panting like you had just run a marathon, but you didn’t give yourself time to catch your breath before quietly unlocking the door, just in case your girlfriend was asleep already. As soon as the door swung open though you could see that the light was still on in the living room and you knew that she must have been waiting for you.

Your suspicion was proven to be right when you heard loud footsteps nearing the door, causing you to mentally prepare yourself for a good scolding. But nothing could have prepared you for what was about to come. As soon as your girlfriend stepped into your field of vision, you could see that she was more than just angry. Her eyes seemed to be spitting fire and you gulped intimidated. Automatically, your mouth opened in an attempt to calm her down with an apology but before you even had the chance to utter a single word, you could suddenly feel your head being whipped to the side due to a painful force. Dumbfounded, you touched your cheek and looked at your girlfriend. That had been unexpected...

Nayeon

Perplexed, Nayeon stared at her own hand, not having expected herself to slap you. But she had just been so angry when she saw you standing in the door, being totally fine. How could you have consciously put her through so much agony? Torn between feeling guilty and angry, Nayeon stood in front of you, opening and closing her mouth without making a sound, not knowing whether she should apologize or scold you for your reckless behavior. When she looked into your eyes that were filled with utter disbelief though, she automatically reached out to touch your arm.

“I’m sorry.”

Nayeon mumbled ashamed, feeling how a blush rose to her cheeks.

“But do you know how worried I was?? Why didn’t you just send me a text?”

She added, not being able to fully spare you the accusations.

“I know that I’ve messed up. Time just flew by and I didn’t notice that my battery had died...”

You answered sheepishly while showing her the black screen of your phone, causing Nayeon to sigh.

“I swear to god, Y/N, if you scare me like that one more time...”

She threateningly put her hands on her hips and stared you down until you lowered your head bashfully. Her own guilt, however, forbade her to make you feel bad any longer. It seemed like both of you had simply allowed your emotions to get the better of you tonight. Hesitantly, Nayeon took a step closer to you, causing you to look at her. Carefully, she cupped your cheek and stroked it apologetically.

“Does it hurt?”

She asked with her voice dripping with regret.

“A little...”

You admitted and Nayeon immediately grabbed your hand to pull you to the kitchen. After asking you to sit down on the kitchen counter, she pulled out a bag of frozen peas from the fridge and gently pressed it against your cheek while standing between your legs. Fueled by her bad conscience, her hands didn’t stop caressing your skin; not even for a second.

Tonight, both of you had probably learned a lesson that you would never forget...

Jeongyeon

“Do you know what cellphones are for?? I was about to call the police!”

Jeongyeon yelled at you, blinded by her rage that had replaced the immense worry that had tortured her the past five hours the moment she had seen you standing at the door completely unharmed. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, and she had to suppress the urge to rip your head off. Never had she ever been so scared before. The voices in her head had told her over and over again that you had been kidnapped or hit by a car. If you had needed one more minute to come home, she had probably completely lost it.

“I-I... lost track of time.”

You stuttered dumbfounded while rubbing your cheek. Only now Jeongyeon realized what she had done, and she exhaled shakily, feeling how her anger slowly left her body.

“So, nothing bad happened?”

Jeongyeon reassured herself and you shook your head sheepishly, causing her to feel relieved, but also disappointed by your selfishness at the same time.

Awkward silence settled between the two of you while Jeongyeon tried to get a clear head again. Slowly her heartbeat reached a normal rhythm again and the uncomfortable feeling of regret formed in her stomach. Hadn’t she overreacted a bit? Shyly, she looked at you but you barely dared to meet her eyes, causing her heart to ache. Her bad conscience had finally caught up to her, leaving her with nothing but an urge to make it up to you.

“Come here...”

Jeongyeon mumbled before nodding her head towards the kitchen. Hesitantly, you followed her and sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for her to give you an ice pack. While you cooled your cheek, Jeongyeon awkwardly stood beside you, knowing that she had to apologize to you, but also feeling too proud to do so after what you had put her through tonight. Somehow she still needed to make you feel better though...

“Are you hungry?”

Jeongyeon asked, hoping that you would understand her without words.

Momo

Perplexed, you looked at Momo who simply stared at you without uttering a single word. Her face was almost blank, making you wonder what was happening in her head right now. You, for your part, were too speechless to apologize. Had she really slapped you? You were aware that you had upset her tonight, but you would have never thought that Momo would ever physically hurt you. Instead of giving you an answer to the thousand questions that were racing through your head though, your girlfriend suddenly turned around and walked away, leaving you behind with an open mouth. What a great way to resolve a conflict...

After squandering away at least half an hour in the living room in order to avoid another awkward encounter with your girlfriend, you eventually followed her to the bedroom. To your surprise, the lights were still on in the room and Momo was leaning against the headboard with her arms crossed while staring ahead vacantly. Unsure you lingered at the door for a bit before shuffling to your side of the bed. Several minutes passed in which neither of you spoke. Eventually, however, Momo’s voice cut through the heavy silence, causing you to flinch slightly.

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

She asked, the disappointment in her voice being unmistakable.

“My phone battery died...”

You mumbled sheepishly before painful silence surrounded the two of you again. You were about to flee the scene, unable to bear the tension any longer, when Momo finally decided to end your torture.

“I-I didn’t mean to slap you.”

She stuttered almost too silent to be heard and when you turned to look at her, you saw that she was hanging her head bashfully. Automatically, your hand reached over to grab hers, causing her to look at you.

“I know.”

You smiled slightly and Momo exhaled relieved.

“I’m sorry.”

Both of you said at the same time and you giggled sheepishly. There were still a few things unresolved, but at least you had finally managed to cut through the tension...

Sana

Frozen you stared ahead while trying to find an explanation for your stinging cheek other than that your girlfriend had just slapped you. This was Sana after all...the most loving person that you had ever met. Your frozen state, however, was suddenly disrupted by the hysterical voice of the person that had left you speechless in the first place and you shook off your trance to be able to focus on her.

“Where were you?? I was so worried, I thought someone had raided you and you wandering around the city hurt...”

Sana sobbed and only now you realized the miserable condition that she was in. Her hair was completely disheveled, and her face was puffy as if she had cried for five hours straight.

“You said you wouldn’t come home late! Why didn’t you let me know where you were?”

She continued although it was hard to make out her words between her sobs. Not being able to stand seeing her this way, you quickly took a step forward and wrapped your arms around her body. Sana buried her head in the crook of your neck without hesitation and started soaking your shirt with her tears while you tried to calm her with a thousand apologies. It needed a while till Sana’s uncontrollable sobbing turned into light sniffling, but eventually she loosened her tight grip around your waist and leaned back to look at you. Her gaze immediately zeroed in on your cheek and she reached out to stroke it gently.

“I’m sorry.”

Sana mumbled bashfully after examining your cheek and wincing when she noticed a red mark.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry...I’m sorry.”

She kept on whispering while placing a kiss on your burning skin between every apology.

How could you stay mad at that?

Jihyo

“Do you know what time it is?”

Jihyo yelled at you, not caring about the neighbors that could probably hear her.

“I have no problem with you going out, but would it have been so hard to send me a text telling me that you’re late??”

She continued, needing to vent the immense anger that was seething inside of her. If she hated one thing, it was unreliability. You could pull an all-nighter for all that she cared, but she would want to know that beforehand. Because without a heads-up, she had worried the whole night and hadn’t been able to sleep a singly second although she had an exhausting schedule ahead of her.

“I didn’t think it was this late already...”

You mumbled sheepishly, causing Jihyo to scoff in disbelief. How delightful to hear that you seemed to have had fun... Without giving you the chance to justify yourself further, she simply turned on her heel and stormed to your shared bedroom. The anger inside of her was still seething, so she threw herself on the bed and buried herself under her blanket. It didn’t take long till she heard you laying down beside her and she huffed in annoyance. How could you have been so selfish? Usually you always informed her about everything. Which was probably the reason for her anxiety tonight. She had just assumed that something bad must have happened to you if you didn’t reach out to her.

The longer Jihyo thought about the events of the night, the more restless she felt. Even when she didn’t have to worry anymore now, countless other thoughts were still making her brain work at full stretch and sleep was a distant goal. Hadn’t she been too harsh with you? In hindsight, the memory of her hand colliding with your face caused her to wince and she tossed and turned for hours. If you would slap her every time that she didn’t pick up her phone, she would probably permanentely walk around with a swollen face. How could she have punished you for a misdeed that she committed almost every week? Oh how she hated when her temperament got the better of her...

She definitely needed to sort things out with you tomorrow.

Mina

For a second, Mina’s own action caused her to be speechless. It had been a while since she had lost control like that. If she was honest, Mina couldn’t remember a time that she had ever used violence to express her emotions. But what was done, was done. It was too late to backtrack now, so she decided to stick to the route that she had chosen.

“Do you know how worried I was?”

She asked calmly while putting her hands on her hips and staring you down.

“I didn’t mean to worry you...”

You tried to justify yourself, causing Mina to chuckle coldly.

“That’s good to know, because as I see it, I worried about you all night while you didn’t even waste a single thought on me.”

She replied, not knowing whether she was trying to make you feel guilty about your behavior or to make herself feel less guilty for slapping you.

“I...It’s not like that.”

You stuttered helplessly, proving to Mina that her strategy was working. If she wouldn’t feel so bad herself right now, she would probably enjoy seeing your bad conscience nagging on you. But under these circumstances, she just wanted the night to end as quickly as possible and to just forget about it. Therefore, she simply turned on her heel and walked towards the bedroom.

“Don’t scare me like that ever again...”

Mina said over her shoulder shortly before disappearing out of the room, not being able to leave this conflict completely unresolved.

Hopefully you could leave this night behind in the morning. She didn’t know if she could even bear to look at you if you ever brought it up again...

Dahyun

“Whoa, Y/N, I don’t know why I did that.”

Dahyun gasped before slamming her hand on her mouth in shock.

“D-did you just slap me?”

You replied dumfounded and Dahyun nodded hesitantly.

“I think I did. Oh my gosh...why did I do that?”

She still couldn’t believe that she had allowed her anger to get the better of her and she simply stared at you in disbelief. Eventually her shock died down, leaving behind nothing but a feeling of shame.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I was just so angry and caught up in the moment. Of course that’s not an excuse, but I guess that’s why I...slapped you.”

It was still hard for Dahyun to say out loud what she had done. Although she understood the reasoning behind her actions, she could not believe that she would ever turn to such methods.

“And I’m sorry for worrying you. I didn’t mean to vanish off the face of the earth like that.”

You replied sheepishly and Dahyun hummed understandingly.

“Yeah, I know that you probably meant no harm.”

She knew that she could not expect you to give her the benefit of the doubt while not cutting you some slack for your mistake at the same time. It was clear that both of you had done some things tonight that you would gladly make undone. Unfortunately, there was no button to rewind though and you needed to find another way to sort things out between the two of you.

“Let’s talk?”

Dahyun proposed while pointing towards the couch and you nodded in agreement.

Why couldn’t she have acted like this from the start?

Chaeyoung

Dumbfounded, you looked at Chaeyoung, hoping that she would be able to make more sense out of this situation than you could, but for some reason, she looked even more taken by surprise than you.

“What was that?”

You asked confused and Chaeyoung shook her head.

“I have absolutely no idea.”

She replied absentmindedly, looking like she was doubting her whole existence right now. Eventually, she snapped out of her trance and scanned you worriedly.

“Are you ok?”

Chaeyoung asked and you instinctively touched your cheek again. It was still stinging a bit, but if you were honest, you were more shocked than hurt right now. You would have never expected that she would hurt you.

“Yeah, I’m fine...”

You answered brusquely, but your girlfriend immediately picked up on your upset.

“No you’re not and that’s ok. I don’t really know how to make you feel better though... I’m sorry and I promise that I will never do it again, but I know that this doesn’t really fix things.”

Chaeyoung said pensively, sounding like she was incredibly disappointed in herself.

“It’s ok. Let’s just go to bed and talk tomorrow about it when we both have a clear head again.”

You proposed, trying to find a solution to this awkward situation.

“Of course, whatever you want.”

Your girlfriend immediately agreed, but you could see that something was still bothering her.

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?”

She added conscience-stricken and you thought about her offer for a second before shaking your head. Judging by the look on her face, she was probably already punishing herself more than enough. There was no need for you to resort to any drastic punishments as well.

“No, you need your sleep. You have to get up in a few hours.”

You replied with a slight smile playing on your lips while pointing at the clock on the wall.

For some reason you already knew though that your girlfriend would probably not be getting much sleep tonight anyways, no matter whether she would sleep on the couch or in your bed...

Tzuyu

If the current situation weren’t so serious, you would probably laugh at Tzuyu’s puzzled expression. She was staring at you with wide eyes and her mouth almost formed a perfect circle. Both of you seemed to be waiting for the other one to break the silence, but neither of you seemed to know what to say.

“Y/N...”

Tzuyu eventually made the first step, but her voice gave in before she could utter a complete sentence. Instead, she started to fidget with her fingers and chose to look at the floor. Therefore, you decided to try voicing your feelings.

“Why did you do that? I don’t know you like this...”

You asked and your girlfriend finally met your eyes again.

“I-I don’t know. I wasn’t really thinking clearly.”

She furrowed her brow as if your question was painfully martyring her brain. Nothing was left of the fury from before anymore and she looked like your considerate girlfriend again, making you wonder whether the slap had just been a fever dream. But the weird distance that was gaping between the two of you told a different story. The unfamiliarity of this situation was unbearable, and you hesitantly took a step forward to get closer to your usual source of comfort. But instead of closing the distance, Tzuyu walked backwards to increase the distance between the two of you again. In defeat, you sighed and decided to give your girlfriend the space that she was apparently seeking.

“Let’s go to bed?”

You asked and Tzuyu silently nodded in response.

Without wasting your time on another attempt to get close to her, you walked to your bedroom and got ready for bed. Your girlfriend, however, took her time to follow you. Only when you were already slipping under the covers, Tzuyu finally entered the room. For a moment she looked at you as if she wanted to say something but didn’t know the right words. Patiently you held her gaze, but eventually your girlfriend simply sighed and shuffled to her side of the bed. She laid down all the way at the edge and turned her back to you, making it clear to you that she wasn’t interested in talking. Therefore, you reluctantly turned off the bedside lamp and tried to curl up in a comfortable position. Yet, the unsettled conflict between the two of you didn’t let you rest peacefully. You tossed and turned for what seemed like hours until the voice of your girlfriend caused you to almost jump out of bed in surprise.

“I don’t know why I did what I did, but I will find out and make sure that it will never happen again. I promise.”

She said determined, making you realize that she had probably not been able to sleep any more than you. Somehow the determination of her words gave you the comfort that you had been seeking though and you felt how the tension of the conflict finally left your body. You knew that your girlfriend would keep her word.

#twice reaction #twice #nayeon #jeongyeon #momo #sana #jihyo #mina #dahyun #chaeyoung #tzuyu #twice imagine #girl group reaction #girl group #girl group imagine #kpop reaction #kpop

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a-tale-of-legends · 3 years

Text

I'm thinking about how some of the main story lines of the main series pokemon games have, specifically the ones that fall flat to me.

For example, in FireRed/LeafGreen the story is very simple and while I don't personally find joy in playing through the games, it does it job right as an introduction of this world.

Hgss( or just the Johto games in general) the story is a continuation of what happened in FRLG. And that's fine! Great actually! But my problem is how some things could have been done better. Story wise, gameplay is a different story. In hgss , team rocket is having a revival and their end goal is to call Giovanni through the radio tower and regain power. And in my personal opinion, that just make team rocket look like a joke, cause there entire operation depends on one man. Maybe that was the point, but for the player character to try and stop something that the police should have been actively trying to stop already is very silly to me( though can you really trust the police of this world after all the shit that happens every year or so? Probably not). Not to mention the whole side plot with Suicune and the box legendary and how it's so disconnected to the main plot, when I feel it could have been connected somehow. Silvers arc is very good, but I feel like the revelation that he's Giovanni's son should come in main game ( like the mid-end), and not in a fucking event that doesn't exist anymore. Makes his hatred to Team Rocket more personal that that they're just weak. I have a few ideas on how the hgss plot could go with changes but that's a different post. Oh!

I wasn't expecting to enjoy Emerald as much as I did, but I did and it was so fun. I liked how at the end of the day, it was Rayquaza that saved the day, not the player. The characters that were important to the plot really filled their purpose. Though I will say, the evil teams reasoning could have been better, and Steven/Wallace honestly didn't do much other than a few battles( though that's still better than Cynthia). In my own timeline for my oc's, I want Oras and Emerald to be mixed a bit, which is gonna take a lot of planning and drafts from me, but that's for future me to worry about.

Dppt. Platinum specifically. The story is very straightforward, just like the past 3 games before it, and the characters are fun in their own right. I should just say it now that a good story doesn't have to be thought provoking, or a grand masterpiece. Simple stories are fun, and that's why I like Emerald and Platinum so much. The "problem" with platinum is just a few characters fall flat/ could have been expanded upon. Cyrus is a really interesting character and it would have been nice to understand him more other then the emotion thing. Cynthia *sighs* is such a disappointment as a character. I love her, I do, but she does LITERALLY NOTHING. Yes she gives some exposition, but she's, like, the champion! One of the strongest at that! Steven falls into the game category of letting the player do literally everything, but he is shown to be fighting the main evil team at. least once. Cynthia does nothing. And that's sad. She's so cool. And it's even sadder when you realize that's a trend among female characters in this franchise but that's a different topic for a different day. But other than that, the simplicity of Platinum is fine, in my personal opinion.

BW and B2W2 kinda caused a shift in the story telling of pokemon. The story was darker, the villain was more evil, the characters were just *chef kiss*. I will admit that I am biased towards these games, if that wasn't obvious enough from my ocs, so I have very little criticism. Not saying that criticism can't be made, and it should, but I can't think of anything other than the female character thing. Iris, I love you, but you too did nothing in B2W2 as Champion. I'm only excusing you cause your a literal child. Bianca is fine and deserves more love but I wish people would stop demeaning her( though I guess that was part of her growth)

XY! I used to hate it before doing a nuzlocke and now I'm just disappointed. In terms of story premise, it was good. Like really good. But in terms of execution, Arcues this was terrible. In my experience with the game, the way the game presented itself was so lack- luster, I felt like I was doing a chore than playing a game( the game was much more entertaining as a nuzlocke, but it still felt like a drag at times). The characters, I believe, where the greatest offender to this. There is very little for me, the player, to care about the rivals, let alone call them rivals, and some things feel so left-field and shoehorned in. Calem/Serena calling the player their friend near the end of the game when their was no proper build up to it? Shauna saying she's friends with Clemont and thus knows how to unlock a security door. The other two noy contributing to anything and just feeling like a waste of space. And is it just me, or was their supposed to be some sort of conflict between our "friend" group and just lead to nowhere, only to resolve itself??? Is it just me??? Diantha only appears twice before her battle, has a member of the evil team member as her elite four( who gets away just fine?????), and just does nothing. This, I feel, is the worst offender of badly written female characters in this franchise. Dear Arcues. I guess Lysander was interesting? Not really. This whole game is a mess.

SM/USUM, despite my grips with a few directional choices, are very good games. This post is getting long, so I won't go into it.

Same goes to SwSh. It's like XY, in that the plot idea was really good, but it feel flat. It's saving grace, at least to me, where the characters. And, well, the fandom just throwing out headcanons left and right, but that's a fanon thing, not a canon thing.

Okay that's all, and thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. Also female pokemon characters deserve better. And simple plot does not equal bad writing, unless the execution suck. Okay bye

#pokemon #pokemon storyline #i'm not tagging all of those games no way #its 4 in the morning #i'm not going through that

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reinvent-and-believe · 4 years

Note

OH HO HO PROMPTS! how about geraskier + 35 (OR, if you'd like some options: 5 or 59) 😊

Ahhhhhhhh I mean if you insist 😄

(I really really like 59 and still might write that at some point, but 5 is what I ended up going with. Also I feel like you should know I started to write something super angsty, you know, something in my wheelhouse, but then I decided I couldn’t do that to my Fluff Friend™️ so instead, here, have something only kind of angsty and kind of Soft)

5) things you didn’t say at all

Jaskier has so many words.

They’re constant, relentless, ceaseless. A bombardment of words. An onslaught of words. A veritable barrage of words.

(Jaskier would appreciate the grandeur of these words, if Geralt shared his thoughts aloud. Bombardment, onslaught, barrage. Descriptive words. Poetic words. The sort of words the bard uses to transform the most banal contract into a thrilling adventure. They’re not words Geralt would have thought to use before Jaskier.)

He has words for the breathtaking beauty of the setting sun lighting a field of flowers they pass by, words for the awe-inspiring majesty of an archgriffin soaring through the sky (the cerulean sky, apparently) above them, words for the putrescent stench of a nearby rotfiend nest. He has words to make the shyest, most awkward village girl gleam beautifully under his doting attention, words to assuage the traumatized, stuttering child who witnessed a gruesome alghoul attack, words to charm the stingiest of men into coughing up the promised coin after Geralt completes a contract.

On a clear night a few weeks past the autumnal equinox, Jaskier has words for the grumbling innkeeper who protests that they “don’t serve your kind” when Geralt tries to procure a room. Furious, colorful words that surprise Geralt, even as he maneuvers his screaming companion out of the small country inn and into the still autumn night.

He lets him continue his ravings as they trek down the road, assuming that he’ll surely run out of steam soon. Geralt scans the terrain for a good place to set up camp, only half-listening to the diatribe that seems to be gaining momentum rather than reaching some denouement (Jaskier loves to talk about the denouement. He’d delivered a lengthy lecture on narrative structure to Geralt last month that seemed to last nearly the entire trek from Ellander to Vizima). Geralt picks a spot with some natural cover, far enough from the road to protect them from roving bandits, and begins removing Roach’s tack.

“—the utter churlish ingratitude of it all astounds me, truly, I’d love to see our dear Master We-Don’t-Serve-Your-Kind handle it himself next time a wraith starts to slaughter any who try to use the well after sundown!”

Jaskier is forced by physical necessity to take a breath, and Geralt seizes his opportunity to set the conversation to rest. “It doesn’t matter.”

Silence had been the goal, but he knows Jaskier well enough to know this isn’t the blissful quietude of the bard dropping it. He sighs and turns toward Jaskier, who is staring at him, mouth agape, with an expression stuck between disbelief and fury. “I’m sorry,” the boy says finally, fixing Geralt with a glare, “did you just say it doesn’t matter?”

And Jaskier is young, young and full of youthful pride, youthful expectations; more than that, he’s not a witcher. He’s travelled with Geralt on and off for the past two years, and while he’s seen traces, the witcher has tried to shield him from the brunt of these everyday indignities he’s met with. Jaskier hadn’t been in Blaviken, hadn’t witnessed decades of casual and humiliating and hateful and snarling dismissals that have hardened Geralt, changed Geralt, numbed Geralt. “It doesn’t matter,” he repeats. He stops his preparations for their camp and looks Jaskier in the eye. If the boy’s set on traveling with him, it’s best he understands. “Wraith’s dead. The alderman paid what we agreed, didn’t complain about the price or try to shortchange me. It was a success. The rest doesn’t matter.”

There’s a look Geralt can’t quite parse brewing on Jaskier’s face as the witcher speaks, seeming to vacillate wildly between frustrated and wrathful and agonized and so many other feelings, too many for Geralt to track, too complex to analyze from the muddled, conflicting scent. They’re close, he realizes suddenly, and he isn’t sure when that happened but they’re close and he can taste the confused feelings in the air between them, the metallic panic and the acrid fury and the brackish tears that haven’t fallen but threaten to, building in spite of the bard’s best efforts. “It matters,” Jaskier insists, a broken hitch in his voice, and then he’s kissing Geralt.

And maybe Geralt shouldn’t be surprised, but he is, somehow. He’s noticed the lust, of course. It had been there at their first meeting, the sharp, earthy scent, strong but not unpleasant. It had been almost flattering, though not nearly so flattering as it was overwhelming; but then it had spiked again nearly as intensely when Filavandrel entered the cave as they sat bound together, beaten and bruised, then later that night when a barmaid’s fingers brushed his as she handed him his ale, a coy smile and the slightest tilt of the head to indicate Jaskier should follow her to the shadowed cellar. He’d followed her and come back, smelling of sex and sporting a dopey grin, singing the praises of women with the exhilarated bravado of an eighteen-year-old would-be libertine—women, Geralt, women, of all the gods’ creations upon this good earth can any compare to a woman? And that had been that.

But Jaskier is kissing him, a hard, frantic thing, his palm warm against Geralt’s jaw, the salt in the air growing thicker, not at all what Geralt would have imagined kissing Jaskier to be like (has imagined kissing Jaskier to be like, in the dead of night, sometimes, as the last embers of a campfire glow on soft pale skin, or at the look of absolute peace as he closes his eyes and breathes in the cool twilight air, or when the first rays of dawn flicker in his sleep-rumpled mess of tawny hair).

But Jaskier is distressed.

The bard pulls away with a sharp inhale, and the scents and tastes and expressions keep shifting erratically, and Geralt tries to keep track but can’t. It’s silent for a minute but for Jaskier’s uneven breaths and the gentle sounds of the forest. “I’m sorry,” he says finally, not looking at Geralt, and it’s the copper tang of fear now, something he’s never smelled once before on Jaskier, on this brave idiot who’s seen no end of havoc and slaughter at the hands of monsters and men since joining the witcher’s company and yet never smelled like fear in his presence before.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier repeats, and when he meets the witcher’s gaze there’s a flash of defiance there, now, “I shouldn’t have done that and if you no longer wish to travel with me I understand, I do, but it does matter, Geralt. It matters that that repugnant, contemptible prick thought he could throw you out like a mangy dog after you saved his pathetic life, all their pathetic lives. It matters that not a one of the other patrons offered a word in your defense. It matters that the songs aren’t enough, they aren’t doing enough, and it matters that this sort of abuse must be so very commonplace that you are, apparently, utterly unperturbed by the entire affair!”

Jaskier’s wrong, he knows that. It doesn’t matter how one small man treats a witcher. The Path is long and hard, and if scornful innkeepers and a night under the stars instead of a roof are the worst Geralt has to face then he is luckier than most. He’s no knight errant, no hero, no matter how gallant and romantic and chivalrous Jaskier insists he is in his ballads.

It doesn’t matter.

And yet.

Jaskier takes a shaky breath. He’s been staring, Geralt realizes belatedly, waiting for some sort of response, and now he seems to have taken silence as answer enough. “Right,” the bard says, nodding, swallowing, rubbing at his eyes wearily. “Suppose that’s my cue to make myself scarce, then.”

His chin trembles with the harsh set of his jaw, and Geralt can’t help reaching out, cupping his face gently with a strong, square hand, his sword-callused thumb rubbing soothingly over a smooth, pale cheek. He pulls Jaskier into a slow, tentative embrace, feeling the boy’s tension melt away in his arms, the copper tang dissolving into something sweet and familiar, something hopeful, something that smells like home.

Geralt tries to find the words. A rude backwoods innkeep doesn’t mean shit to him, but Jaskier jumping to his defense without the slightest hesitation does. Jaskier writing songs about him, about his selflessness, about his goodness—no matter how inaccurate, no matter how exaggerated—does. Jaskier looking at him like he’s something precious, something valuable, something worthy, does. Jaskier kissing him matters—certainly matters, and is certainly something Geralt is interested in investigating further—but Jaskier choosing to be with him, indignant and furious on his behalf, making his bed on the lumpy forest floor when he could have easily rented a room in that inn—matters even more.

Geralt doesn’t know how to say these things; the words sound trite and inadequate as he turns them about in his mind. But as he holds him close, their breath becoming one as they rock gently beneath the evening’s first stars, he thinks perhaps Jaskier understands nonetheless.

And if not, perhaps he’ll find the words tomorrow.

#norationalthoughtrequired #my fic #asks #thanks pal hope you like it!!! <3 #geraskier #the witcher

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that-wizard-oki · 3 years

Note

Hello! I've been aware of your blog for years, and made a Tumblr blog very recently. I want to say that your posts are extremely well thought out, and give the storyline of Wizard101 a lot of much needed depth. I think if Wiz had the gameplay and story structure of Pirate101, it would benefit highly especially for worlds like Azteca and Khrysalis. Currently I'm rewriting Wiz and your posts are a huge inspiration. Finally. what are your thoughts on Arc 3? Imo it had potential but failed.

Hey there! Thank you so much for all your kind words, I’m glad you enjoy my thoughts and theories about the game- and I’m flattered to hear they inspire you to create your own fan work :D

Personally, I wouldn’t say that Arc 3 failed in any sense. I think the idea of a children's/family game to tackle the theme of a broken family\divorce is pretty smart- it gives the opportunity to adults who play this game with their kids to find a way to perhaps talk about their own experience with the same themes in their real lives (if it applies to them). Likewise, i also like that the story focuses on that the CHILDREN are the one who have to clean up the PARENTS mess, more or less. Often times the children in families who have a parent/parents that are either split, should split, or are abusive to one another, are the ones who get caught in the cross fire- this is SO evident with Mellori and Bat in Empyrea.

Following that, I think it was also super clever to have Mellori (and the wizard) initially ALSO be fighting against Spider’s children. Another common occurrence in families that experience abuse between their parents/ect, is that one or both of the parents will try to divide their children onto sides- furthering the divide and conflict in the family itself. THIS was exactly what was happening in arc 3- we weren’t technically fighting Raven and Spider, but their children were fighting each other in their names.

One of the most beautiful things to come out of this game was the fact that Mellori and Bat WERE able to see through that, and instead focused on the real threat at hand- their parents. In fact, it is their COMBINED power that allows the wizard to defeat the result of Raven and Spider- the Aethyr Titan. This reflects so well into reality, where when the children of broken families try their damned to support one another, instead of letting their parents continue to control and divide them, it leads to the kids being able to break the domino effect that comes with that kind of family dynamic. They are able to become individuals- instead of being some mini version or “part” of their parents (which is also clever on KI’s part to make Mellori and Bat/Rat/Scorpion LITERAL extensions of Raven/Spider, which makes it seem like they are just kind of mindless bots doing whatever their entrusted parent tells them).

One part i particularly like as well is that towards the end of Empyrea, Mellori talk about how she’s going to go home to her mom- and it’s not Raven, it’s Baba Yaga. I absolutely love this idea that, yea, Mellori (and any kid for that matter) SHOULD be able to choose who their mom/dad/parent is if their birth parent(s) don't provide for you the way a parent should. I think that is a SUPER important lesson for Kids AND parents to hear. You choose your own family if that’s what it comes down to, and there is NO shame in that.

That being said, i do have my issues with some things too- this might seem small, but I never liked how when we’re in the Husk, and Raven and Spider are talking to one another about who’s “really” at fault, and eventually Raven goes “oh what have i done?” and Spider just goes “.... Yea were were BOTH really bad huh?” Like.... listen, sure, Raven probably shouldn’t have locked Cob away for eternity and stole his chaos heart in order to reform the spiral, BUT imma be real with y’all... Spider also did shit to aggravate Raven- specifically, he messed with her kids into a fucking war. I mean this half sarcastically, but tbh, if you mess with a mother’s kids... that's fucking on you man, you know the grave your digging for yourself on that one lmao.

But more seriously- i feel like they REALLY tried to make Raven out to be “worse” than Spider, and having Spider just beguile her with his words at the end in a way were she ended up being like “oh nooo IM the really bad one, oh no oh noo :((” JUST for him to be like “no its ok babe :) we’re BOTH equally as bad, stay here with me and we can be bad and alone together :)”

Actually now that i write that out, it is a little.. weird that Spider kinda got what he wanted- to be with Raven, when imo, they really should have STAYED split. I don’t come from a divorced family, but I’ve many friends who do, and I’ve gathered that more often than not... divorce can be a good thing, as it is likely to stop/lessen the conflict within families. I think that yea, they both did bad things to one another, and need to stay apart, not spend the rest of eternity together.

That’s probably my biggest qualm with the entirety of Arc 3, beyond the various obvious one, which is that Morganthe played like, absolutely no part in it lmao. I’ve talked endlessly about it, so i won’t repeat myself too much lol.

Just to briefly reiterate- i think that Morganthe, the one who re-discovered shadow magic, was groomed by the Shadow Magi, and very blatantly infused with something akin to the conversion tables we see in Khrysalis, I think she would have been an invaluable source of information and help for the Wizard. Not only does she probably know the most about Shadow Magic outside of Spider, but it’s insanely alluded to that she was under his control- perhaps even had contact or conversation with him somehow in her time as Shadow queen.

The biggest frustration of her lack of presence though, comes from the way Khrysalis built up this INSANELY interesting Foil between the Wizard and her. The way that they both weirdly fit the prophecy, the way their lead into The Hive was so eerily mirrored, the fact that we were both called the Children of Light and Shadow by Spider, and not to even mention how the shared feelings of loneliness and fear of failure as students of Ambrose... like I could go on about these two and how amazing it would have been for them both to work together in arc 3, but also help heal and grow as The Children of Light and Shadow... but that’s not what we got unfortunately.

Anywho, i don’t wanna ramble on about that too much because i touched on it in another ask post and you can look at that if ya want in my tag, but yea! Those are my general thoughts on Arc 3. Again, i love this arc, i think it truly has some of the most nuanced writing and characters thus far in the game.

Besides, i always think they could easily write in Morganthe’s return for a redemption with the wizard, especially now with the Wizard seemingly trying to fight their own shadows.

Hope that satisfied your question though, and good luck with your writings :D

#wizard101 #oki answers a thing #marvelousmagicalaura

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kurt-nightcrawler · 4 years

Text

Fairytale

Warren Worthington III x Female Reader

Request 1: Omg I just read the I have a boyfriend and the opposites attract and I'm aksjksjeje. Idk if ur taking requests, but in case u are I need more on that mother nature reader and Warren pleaaaaseee!!! Maybe something with angst, like some conflict in their relationship, but with a happy would be greatttttt I absolutely love ur writing

Request 2: Hi love!:D idk if you’re taking requests or if you’re in the works of smth, but like, I’ve had this idea in my head about your fic of Mother Nature with what she said about the weather affecting her. Like it’s winter season or smth and the sun has not been out for days (and maybe Ororo is not around to help??) so she’s feeling weak and Warren is doing all he can so she can get better🥺 I reaally love your writing💕 💕

Warnings: swearing and angst

Word Count: 12.5k

“How long will you be gone?”

“A few weeks. We should be back before December 21st.”

(Y/N) huffed, that was almost two weeks, plus the holidays were coming up. “Stay safe, okay? All I want for Christmas is you.”

Warren rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead, “I already got you a gift.”

(Y/N) thanked him and he just held her tighter.

Warren went on a mission with Raven, Alex, Kurt, Ororo, and Jean. They were going to Italy to stop some mafia mutant issue. “Which is stupid,” Scott retorted. “We live in New York. Surely the mafia isn’t only terrorizing mutants in Italy.”

(Y/N) shrugged, “Probably.”

Her mind wandered as Jubilee talked to Scott about their final for Dr. McCoy. I need to water the plants in the greenhouse. (Y/N) yawned, she felt a sudden wave of drowse come over herself. I’ve been so tired lately…

It wasn’t a mystery why (Y/N) had been so tired lately. It was because of the weather. The earlier it got dark, the less energy she had— and with it getting colder, her abilities were limited. Most of the plants in her room had gone dormant. (Y/N) was worried she would too, but it hadn’t gotten cold enough.

“I think we should go skating tomorrow,” Jubilee suggested.

“Just the four of us?” Peter asked.

“Do you see anyone else? They’re all in Italy.” Peter squinted his eyes at Jubilee as she was sarcastic. “The rink is open, it’s December, and I’m bored! I wanna pick up cute girls.”

“Isn’t ice skating like a go-to in Hallmark Christmas movies?” Scott asked.

“Why do you know that?” Jubilee asked.

“We watch those all the time on nights with the boys,” Peter explained. “They’re awful and all the same. There was one where a girl was in love with a ghost and another where a girl texted her dead mom to grieve… I’m so lucky I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

(Y/N) laughed, hallmark Christmas films were pretty cheesy and cliche.

“I mean yeah, you’re right, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go skating, or do something. Everyone is gone and we need to stay active.”

Peter and Scott both looked at Jubilee with confusion. “But we’re all in pretty good shape.”

“No, I mean (Y/N),” She whispered to the boys.

“What’s wrong with her? She looks fine.” Scott said, quickly checking her out as she was preoccupied with her phone.

“Around winter, she tends to get weaker cause it’s colder and the sun goes down earlier…”

“Yeah… We know…”

“No, you guys don’t get it. During the winter plants go into like, hibernation— and if it gets too cold and (Y/N) falls asleep she’ll go dormant. The only safe places are her room and an area set up in the lab.”

“We have to keep her awake all winter?” Peter asked curiously.

“No, we just have to make sure she only falls asleep in her bedroom and stays there. It’s the only ace place because it’s like a greenhouse sort of…”

“What happens if we don’t?...”

“She could die!”

“Who could die?” (Y/N) asked.

“Scarlett Johanson’s stunt-double. I mean have you seen the new Black Widow trailer?” Jubilee asked without missing a beat.

“Eh, I dunno. She’s a professional, plus stunt-doubles are kind of expected to get hurt… while it’s not preferable an innocent gets hurt,... they did sign up for it.”

“I never thought of it like that…” Scott said almost seeing off-handed while trying to noticeably glare at Jubilee.

“Well, I’ve got to go. I promised Catherine I’d help make gingerbread cookies.” Everyone wished (Y/N) some form of goodbye, or have fun, leaving them alone.

“(Y/N) is going to die?!” Peter almost screamed.

“No! No, no— (Y/N) is not going to die. She’s done this longer than I’ve known her. I think she was like, thirteen when these first started happening. I didn’t know (Y/N) until we were 15, but still.” Jubilee continued on, “She’ll either pass out randomly in the middle of December or January and hibernate until March or April, or she won’t go dormant and just have to spend most of the spring outside, like soaking up the sunshine or whatever. “

“Oh, okay. So this is normal. Great. (Y/N) might fucking die every winter and we just have to act like children on thin ice? Deal with it somehow?” Peter looked like he was freaking out.

“I said she’s been doing this for years, plus she hasn’t died yet. We’ll be fine.”

Scott’s gut was telling him something different, but he blamed that on his constant anxiety.

Five days after Warren left

(Y/N), Scott, Peter, and Jubilee all went ice skating. Jubilee and Peter attempted to spy on cute girls, while Scott tried to act perfect, and (Y/N) tried her best to not lean against the wall too much. It was fun, but indoor rinks are as cold as the outside ones. (Y/N) bundled up enough, but she still got chills.

Scott took everyone to some artsy coffee shop that Jean adored. He claimed they had a killer hot chocolate. Jubilee already tried it once before, being Jean’s best friend/roommate. Peter thought it was kind of watery and not that great, and (Y/N) didn’t think it was bad but…

“You overhyped it. It’s good though.” Scott pouted, and Peter laughed through Twinkie bites and hot chocolate sips. (Y/N) felt warm and fuzzy inside. Almost… sleepy…

Her mind started to drift… Warren… everything they’d do when he got back from Italy…

Their first winter holiday together… all the shitty hallmark movies we can watch with Scott and Peter… the—

“(Y/N)!”

“Huh?!” She rubbed her eyes and tried to seem awake. “What is it?”

“You were dozing off there,” Scott pointed out.

“Oh.” She scratched her head. “Sorry. Haha,” Her laugh was somewhat sarcastic. “Just don’t let me, uh… Don’t let me pass out. Wouldn’t wanna get nicknamed Sleeping Beauty.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Peter joked.

Nine days after Warren left

Peter taught everyone, or attempted to, teach everyone how to make a seven-layered cake. Jubilee and Scott kept sneaking batter, while (Y/N) was struggling to not use her powers.

“Okay, but like, I could get sugar from a plant or—“

“No!” Jubilee protested, batter on the corner of her mouth. “We— we have all these ingredients here. Why waste them?”

(Y/N) squinted her eyes, they were a bit purple, but she let it slide and grabbed sugar and other dry ingredients from the cabinets.

“If she uses too much strength she could pass out. It’s been snowing hard for the past two days, and it’s been cloudy all week.”

“Can’t she eat a protein bar or drink some coffee or something?” Peter whispered.

Jubilee shook her head, “No, she needs vitamin D. Like, from the sun. More than a normal person does.”

(Y/N) set the sugar on the counter and looked at the recipe from Peter’s mom, reading bits out loud, “We need 2 and 1⁄4 cups of sugar.” She looked at the measuring cups, trying to find the one she needed.

“Hey, Scott! We agreed no phones out,” Jubilee scolded him.

He rolled his eyes, “You sound like a teacher… I was just checking a package I ordered…”

“If you actually bought that $200 lightsaber you were telling me about,” (Y/N) joked, “I will scream.”

Peter scoffed, “Please, Jean got him that for Christmas.” His face fell soon as the words left his mouth. “Shit…”

“No, she didn’t. We had a budget and—“ Jubilee and Peter both looked at their feet, eyes wide and sheepish. “I am not worth $200.”

“You sound like Warren,” Jubilee complained, cracking eggs into a separate bowl.

“It’s true! I don’t want her to spend money on me.” He glanced at his phone again.

“She’s not going to text you. No one is allowed to bring phones on missions, because the government can like, track you and shit.” Peter reminded him.

“I know, I know… but what if something happened? What if someone died or they got stuck and stranded and—“

(Y/N) put a hand on Scott’s shoulder, “Calm down Romeo. They’re going to be fine. If something happens, Xavier will let us know.” Scott nodded, trying to believe (Y/N) was right.

Fifteen Days after Warren left

(Y/N) was getting sick and tired. Tired of her friends never leaving her alone, the panic on their faces if she so much as yawned or rubbed her eyes, she was sick of them being so nervous. More so Scott and Peter than Jubilee.

Of course, they meant well, and just wanted to make sure she didn’t fall into a coma, but she didn’t need to be doted over like a tropical plant lost in the arctic.

(Y/N) huffed as she messed with her hair in the bathroom mirror. Her leaves looked less colorful, more brown and dead, the vines around her legs were gone, and her eyes looked like she hadn’t been sleeping. She had, but it was hard, the sun went down at 5 PM, and it was cloudy and cold every day it seemed.

I just want Warren here. He’d make everything better. We could cuddle and nap together…

(Y/N)’s turned blue and red as she stopped daydreaming and ran her toothbrush underwater.

By nature, (Y/N) was not a gossip girl or a secret keeper— people saw her as a Disney princess, a few of the younger students even called her “Mother Nature”... but she had ruined her status by lying to the person she cared about most.

She didn’t tell Warren about her dormant state, about how she could sleep until possibly March. She wanted to stay awake and active all winter. She wanted to spend her time with her angel.

But he was in Italy fighting crime, and wouldn’t be back until mere days before Christmas.

She had to be awake for Christmas and New Year’s. After that, it didn’t matter.

Wait. Then she remembered Valentine’s Day.

I have to be awake for that too. And Warren’s birthday… I can’t miss those… She made herself a promise she wouldn’t go dormant this winter.

She glanced out the window as she scrubbed her teeth with the toothbrush. It was snowing again, thick heavy flakes came down almost in chunks.

Twenty Days after Warren left

(Y/N) accidentally drank out of Peter’s cup without realizing it for about thirty minutes. Why did it matter?

Peter had caffeine in his soda, and (Y/N) did not. She was planning to go to bed in her room, and wake up when the sun rose to conserve energy.

Now, she was staying up late with her friends, watching some crappy zombie movie on late-night TV.

“They could easily just move to an island. Use the old man’s boat. The zombies can’t swim!” (Y/N) argued during a commercial break.

“Yeah, but there’s never any logic in these things.” Peter drowsed.

“I guess so. It’s kind of dumb though…”

Peter shrugged and took a sip of his drink, “Yeah, but it’s like Sharknado. They make money, it doesn’t matter if it’s bad or not.”

(Y/N) didn’t retaliate, as the final commercial ended and the screen faded to black, signaling the movie was back on.

Scott couldn’t remember when he fell asleep. He rubbed his eyes and tried to see who was all around him.

Peter was passed out on the floor for some reason, Jubilee was asleep on one side of the couch… and Scott saw (Y/N), passed out with her head laying on a pillow.

“Shit! (Y/N)!” He shook her, trying to get a reaction, but nothing happened. He repeated her name trying to undo her slumber until the other two woke.

“What’s wrong?” Peter asked, hair tussled and eyes half-closed.

“(Y/N) fell asleep on the couch!” Scott was panicking. He had one job— one job from Jubilee, “Make sure she only falls asleep in her bedroom or else she won’t wake up until March.”

“Scott! Stop it!” Jubilee pulled him away from (Y/N)’s sleeping figure. “You could kill her!”

“What—” He turned to Jubilee, “What do we do then?”

“Peter, get Professor McCoy up here.”

“But it’s 4 AM…” Jubilee gave him a deadly glare and he sped off.

Scott was ordered to sit and be quiet while Peter got McCoy.

“She fell asleep. She drank some of my soda earlier, causing her to not be tired. We thought we could get her sleepy by watching a movie, but we all fell asleep before she did…” Peter was giving Hank a 30-second recap, with 3000 words.

“Peter, everything’s going to be fine.” Hank carefully scooped (Y/N) up in his arms, bridal style. He looked her over up close. Her skin looked pale, the leaves and flowers in her hair were gone, all that was left were dried twigs, and the vines usually wrapped around her legs were concealed by sweatpants, so he couldn’t take note on them. “I’m taking her to the medical bay. Everyone go to sleep, you can come back in the morning…” Hank glanced at the time, “You can come back later.”

The three mutants walked to their rooms quietly. Jubilee made a stop at a bathroom to brush her teeth, while Peter and Scott went straight to their dorm.

Peter used his speed to get changed and hop in bed. “I’ll leave the light on while you get changed.” Scott didn’t answer, he didn’t move. “Scott?”

“What if she dies?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“Jubilee said she’s been doing this for years, (Y/N)‘s not gonna die.” Scott still didn’t move, causing Peter to sit up and face his roommate better. “Everything will be okay. McCoy knows what to do, and this is no different than when bears go hibernate for the winter or when geese fly south. She’ll be fine.”

“We don’t know that. If something interrupts her she could die—“

“She won’t.” Peter knew he knew, what Scott was thinking. Scott did what anyone would have done. Tried to jostle her awake, he didn’t know what else to do.

“Do you know what it’s like?...”

Peter hadn’t the slightest idea what Scott was referencing, he kept his mouth shut, trying to figure it out.

“To have almost killed someone? Your parents arguing with theirs, lawsuits being threatened, your life could end before theirs and the doctors think they’re on borrowed time… How you know you deserve to be punished, and instead you’re just sent away, to be with more family and start new. You try to be better than you ever were, and people— they believe it. You deserve everything you’ve worked for… and then you go and fuck up! It’s one thing to have your mutation surface and have chunks of ceiling and a bathroom door put a school bully in a coma— but to hurt someone like (Y/N)?...” Scott’s voice trembled. His cheeks were covered in his tears. “If anything happens it’s going to be my fault. Warren’s going to blame me because everyone talks me up about how responsible I am and all these leadership qualities I have, that I actually don’t. Warren is going to kill me if she doesn’t wake up—“ He choked out a sob.

Peter was quick to wrap the boy in his arms. “Hey, hey… shh… shh… You didn’t hurt her. She’s going to be fine. Hank picked her up and carried her to his lab and she did fine. You shaking her didn’t do anything.” Scott continued weeping.

“How about you take a shower, and then we can go see her, okay?” Peter talked slower than ever before and with softness, enough to be gentle, but not so much you’d think Scott was a child.

He nodded, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand.

“Okay, come on buddy…”

Hank had carefully dressed her in a hospital gown and hooked her up to various equipment. Everything seemed normal for her coma-like state. He didn’t wake her up carrying her downstairs.

Hank sat down in a chair next to her. He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had no idea what to do.

This had happened before, but Hank just kept her in his lab and he wouldn’t do anything until she woke up. Sometimes students would visit to see how she was doing… Most of the time they’d just whisper and watch her for a few minutes before leaving, some made jokes about how she needed Prince Charming to kiss and wake her up.

Hank hesitated allowing Charles tell the team what happened. They wouldn’t be back for another week, and he didn’t want to cause a distraction for them.

“Hey Doc,” Peter waved. Scott was standing next to him.

Hank quickly put his glasses back on and stood up. “What are you doing awake? You should be asleep.”

“Couldn’t sleep. Figured we could come by, see how (Y/N)’s doing.”

“Yeah— she’s doing fine. Vitals are steady and her heartbeat is regular. All we have to do is wait.” Hank faked some optimism. He knew why they were there, and she was fine— except, Hank had no idea when she’d awake.

“Did you tell Xavier what happened?” Scott asked.

“Yeah, he knows. He said there’s nothing we can do until she wakes up. We have the option to wake her and keep her in the green room, but that’s easier said than done…” Scott looked pale. Hank cursed to himself for freaking the kid out. “Trust me, this is the best option for her.” Scott nodded.

“Yeah… “ Peter tried to distract him. “Why don’t we eat some leftover cake?”

“I’m not hungry Pete,” Scott answered.

“Well I am, and you’re not going to mope around down here. It’ll like, give (Y/N) a bad vibe. Come on.” Scott sighed and followed Peter out of the med bay.

Twenty four days after Warren left

Warren was exhausted, Everyone was. The mission went smoothly, or smoothly as it could, considering the number of minor injuries everyone bore.

“We’ve got a few more hours until we’re home,” Alex announced, checking in on the younger X-Men.

Ororo, Jean, and Kurt were playing go fish. Warren was watching, contributing nothing to the game but sarcastic comments and jokingly-judgemental looks.

“Great, thanks,” They replied.

Alex nodded and walked back to his seat in the cockpit. He pulled something small and rectangular out of his pocket. Warren carefully watched from the corner of his eye.

Is that a cell phone?

Cell phones weren’t allowed on missions. They were distractions, not to mention out of rage cellular fees were expensive— plus with modern technology comes tracking. Having something as minor as a cellphone on a mission could jeopardize the whole operation simply because someone wanted to use google maps and see where the nearest Starbucks was.

“Alex?”

“Yeah?” He stuck the object in his pocket.

“What is that?” Warren kept his down, as to not alert the others.

“What?”

“The thing in your pocket. What is it?”

“Warren—“

Warren was pissed. “It’s a cellphone isn’t it?”

“It’s a burner phone. In case of an emergency—“

“Why’d you take it out?”

“Hank texted me.”

“Oh, great.” Warren spat, “You bring a phone on missions in case you miss your little boyfriend.”

“Warren—“

“No!” He spoke out. At this point, everyone was watching. “You don’t get to break the rules and endanger the mission!”

“Warren, calm down.”

“You can’t tell me—“

“Someone at the mansion got hurt, bird brain. That’s why Alex’s using the burner to text Hank.” Raven rolled her eyes. Dramatic much?

“What?”

No one knew this, not even Jean. They all tuned into the conversation.

“Who did?”

“What happened?”

“Everything’s fine.”Alex lied.

“No, it’s not. You wouldn’t be texting Hank if it was.”

Jean discreetly put two fingers to her temple, trying to figure out who got hurt. Raven saw her and glared, mentally telling her to stop.

“Sorry.”

“Everyone settle down. We have a few hours left until we’re back in Westchester. Just chill out until then.”

Warren rolled his eyes and sat by himself, thinking Raven’s little distraction speech was stupid.

He couldn’t help it— acting all childish— he missed (Y/N) and he really hated having to share a bed with Kurt on missions. Kurt’s tail got all tangled and Warren’s wings were cramped.

It was different from when he’d cuddle with (Y/N). He’d wrap his wings around her, and she’d grow flowers in her sleep around them. It was soothing… He’d wake up refreshed, and looking at his wonderful girlfriend. Kurt was… a major downgrade… he was a decent roommate, but he couldn’t stand him as a bedmate.

Warren yawned, making a note to sleep for ten years and hold (Y/N) while he did it, once he got back home.

The basketball court came into view, and the ground caved in, letting Raven land the Jet in its hangar. Alex announced they were back and free to get off the ship. The rest of the team hastily grabbed their bags and ran out of the X-Jet.

Outside waiting for them was Jubilee, Peter, and Scott. Hank wasn’t there.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Warren teased Alex.

He didn’t respond.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Jean mocked Warren.

Warren did a double-take as Peter and Jubilee spoke to Raven and Ororo. (Y/N) wasn’t there.

“Hey, guys.” The three that stayed behind looked up with guilty expressions on their face as soon as they looked at Warren.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” He asked.

No answer.

Warren asked again, but more concerned, “Guys, where’s (Y/N)?”

“She’s not dead—“ Jubilee hit Peter and scolded him.

“What does that mean?”

The group exchanged nervous eye contact. They weren’t sure how to explain it, but if they didn’t Warren was probably going to attempt murder.

“She’s in what Hank calls a ‘dormant state’. Basically hibernation—“ Warren’s face visibly paled. “Except waking her up is way more complicated…”

“So she’s in a coma?...” He asked.

“Yeah, basically…” Jubilee admitted.

“How did this happen?”

“(Y/N)’s mutation, I thought she told you…”

“Told me what?” Jubilee didn’t answer him. “What, Jubilee?”

Alex put his hand on Warren’s shoulder. “Maybe Hank should explain it…”

“So she won’t wake up until March?”

“April at the latest,” Hank answered.

“And you let this happen?” He turned to Jubilee, Scott, and Peter. They were terrified of what Warren might do.

“No, no, they didn’t,” Hank defended them. “Her body just does this. It’s no different than that time of month…”

“A period isn’t four months long,” Warren mumbled.

“Let’s give him a moment alone with her.” Hank ushered everyone out, shutting the door behind him.

Warren sank in the chair next to (Y/N)’s body. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Fuck,” He mumbled. “Fuck, fuck,” Tears welled in his eyes. “Fuck!” He screamed. He put his fist up to his mouth to muffle his sobs.

“How could… Why didn’t she tell me?” Warren looked at (Y/N)’s figure. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Warren felt his heart breaking. She looked so… so dead.

But she wasn’t. She wasn’t dead but she wouldn’t wake until March.

It was December.

“Hank said… he said, we could wake you up, but there’s a chance you’ll die. And I’d rather have you like this than dead…” He turned away and mouthed cursed under his breath.

Warren didn’t know what to do. Sure, he wasn’t necessarily one of those clingy boyfriends, whose only life purpose is to serve his girlfriend… but he really liked her.

He wanted to spend more time with her than he ever could. She understood when he had nightmares or needed space. They never fought— their biggest disagreement was on a stupid homework problem.

She made earrings out of some of his metal feathers, he learned how to take care of all kinds of plants. She showed him how to be compassionate and kind, he showed her how to be assertive and throw a decent punch.

Peter teased him all the time, saying he was “in loooove,” dragged out o and everything. He’d always tell him to shut up or piss off.

Because maybe he was in love with her.

“But I’m her first boyfriend.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be her first love.”

“That means I’ll hurt her…” Warren’s voice cracked. “I don’t wanna hurt her…”

He didn’t know she’d hurt him.

Warren wasn’t allowed to sit at (Y/N)’s side all day, or even all week. He had work to make up for when he was in Italy— homework, mid-terms, laundry, post-mission exam— not to mention Christmas was in five days.

He tried to keep himself busy in the first two days, and he overachieved everything he had to do. Which inevitably, left him with nothing to do.

“God, you look miserable,” Peter commented when Warren made his way into the kitchen, bags under his eyes, messy bed-head hair, sweatpants hung low, and a wrinkly t-shirt.

“I stayed up, deep cleaning my closet. I’ve got some stuff I’m gonna donate.”

“That’s nice.” Jean curtly commented.

Nobody knew what to say. They weren’t sure what would trigger Warren.

“We were all gonna see Knives Out,” Scott said. “A day off for everyone, chance to get last-minute gifts…”

“Not interested.” Warren poured himself a bowl of cornflakes.

“Come on,” Jubilee almost begged. “You haven’t left the mansion at all in the past few days.”

“I have stuff to do.” He poured milk into his bowl.

“Warren, you deep cleaned your closet at midnight. You have nothing to do and this will keep you occupied for a while.” Jubilee pointed out.

He was tired, “I don’t want to leave the mansion. What if something happens—“

“(Y/N)’s going to be fine.”

Warren held his spoon tightly in his fist. “That’s what I thought before I went to Italy— Look at her now! She’s in a coma.”

“She’ll wake up in the spring,” Kurt offered up to calm Warren down.

“This could have been prevented. I should have been here—“ Warren felt himself breakdown. He started crying, and no one knew what to do. Ororo got up from her seat and hugged him. He sobbed into her shoulder.

Ororo gave him words of comfort, “It’s okay, this is normal for her. Distance will do you good. Everything’s going to be okay… You should get out, get fresh air.”

Warren nodded and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, “Uh-huh.”

“Come see the movie with us,” She suggested.

“Okay, yeah… I’ll— I’ll go get ready.” He put his bowl in the sink and went out of the kitchen.

“Holy shit.” Peter’s eyes were wide with shock. “He’s a mess!”

Jubilee swatted him with her hand, “Hush! He’s clearly upset… His girlfriend’s in hibernation until March.”

“Yeah, but like, he just started crying,” Peter stated. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Warren cry before… He just looked so broken, like, holy shit. I don’t think I was that upset when I got cheated on by my girlfriend, junior year on prom night…” The worst part is, we could have prevented this.”

“I think I’m gonna puke,” Scott mumbled.

“Hey!” Ororo chasted the two boys. “I don’t care what happened while we were gone, but you’re both acting pathetic. This is no one’s fault! Get your heads out of your asses and be there for Warren.”

“We should wake her up…” Everyone looked at Scott like he was crazy.

“And risk killing her?” Ororo asked.

“Yeah, no,” Peter answered. “Romeo may follow suit.”

Warren didn’t want to go outside, but he needed to keep busy, or else he’d start crying again.

He was a mess— he knew Kurt was tired of him staying up all night, doing anything and everything to keep busy… but when he closed his eyes he was face to face with nightmares— (Y/N)’s practically lifeless body lying in the hospital bed, her never waking up, or if she did she’d have amnesia and not remember anyone.

Warren couldn’t sleep, but staying up all night would eventually take its toll on him, or he’d run out of things to do.

Warren got changed and quickly ran downstairs to the medical bay. He wanted to check on (Y/N) before he left.

“How is she?”

“Same as she has been for the past few days,” Hank answered. “Everything’s normal, and she’s doing fine— great actually.”

Warren nodded, “Um, I just wanted to see how she was doing. I’m going out with the other X-Men… we’re seeing Knives Out… Ororo said it’d be a good idea for me to get out of the mansion.”

Hank blinked and then frowned in thought. “Yeah, she’s right. However, you seem to be doing really well, considering the situation. You haven’t spent all your time down here, but you do visit. You haven’t acted out with a huge wave of impulse emotions, but getting out for a little bit would be great for you.”

Warren bit his tongue, holding back from telling Hank the truth about how he was doing. “Yeah… I’ll um, see you later.”

Warren zoned out in the middle of the movie for a few minutes and had to ask Kurt what happened.

“Police chased them down.”

“Ah, okay.” Warren nodded. He glanced at his other friends. Scott had an arm around Jean, and they were cuddling, practically on top of each other, in the big recliners. Jubilee bought sour patch kids and was sharing the bag with Ororo. Peter and Kurt were really engrossed in the movie, and Warren was just kind of there…

He was lonely— The movie was good, and he was enjoying it— but Warren as a whole was lonely.

He put up the hard “I don’t need anybody,” exterior to protect himself from hurt. His poor relationship with his parents caused him to be cautious and made it hard for him to develop a steady healthy relationship with any authority figures in his life. His cage fighting days taught him, he was alone, and nobody was ever going to love him, and he’d have to fight to get anywhere in life.

Obviously, that proved to be false— he found confinement in Alex, (and sometimes Hank), as the older brother he never had. The community in the mansion proved he didn’t have to be so alone, and (Y/N) made him realize love is not some made-up fantasy, concocted in Disney’s headquarters.

(Y/N) felt like his best friend on most occasions, and while he had all his other friends, her being gone made him feel so empty inside.

On Christmas Eve he moped around in Scott and Peter’s room, one earbud in listening to sad music.

Scott wasn’t even there— he was doing God knows what with Jean, and Peter was playing Pac-Man.

“You can hang out with me tomorrow if you want. I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“I’m good.” Warren knew Peter would probably run home and mess around with his sisters and mom, or awkwardly hang around the mansion, trying to find Erik and tell him about their relationship.

“Dude,” He awkwardly chuckled. “Okay, look— um, I know, nothing I say can fix the situation, but if you want to talk I’m here.”

Warren paused his music. “What was the last thing she said?”

Peter was awestruck, “She’s not dead!”

“I know—“

“She’s in a coma that she’s going to wake up from! She didn’t die.”

“I know that! I just want to know what she said before she went into the coma…”

Peter felt guilty for jumping to conclusions. Warren seemed so defeated, like a kicked puppy. “We were watching a crappy zombie movie on tv… and it was like, really bad, and we were mostly complaining about how bad it was. The last thing I remember was she said something about how the prosthetics sucked and she could have done it better with some mint leaves and slime.”

The corner of Warren’s lip rose up slightly. Typical (Y/N), but she was probably right.

“Wanna play Pac-Man with me?”

Warren sat up, “Sure.”

“He just started crying, like— I’ve never seen anyone so upset, and I thought you were dead at one point!” Scott was frazzled in Hank’s lab with Alex, Jubilee, Jean, Ororo, and Kurt.

“He seemed fine when he came down to visit her the other day.” Scott gave Hank a disbelieving look. “Well if he’s crying over little things, obviously he’s extremely stressed out and I’m not going to push him.”

Scott glanced in the direction of (Y/N)’s area in the lab, “Maybe we should wake her up.”

“Are you crazy?!” Jubilee asked. “She could die from that—“

“She probably won’t though… (Y/N) being unconscious has made Warren, everyone on edge.”

“You want an easy way out of this,” Jubilee raised her voice as she kept speaking, “If you really cared about how Warren was, you’d be trying to comfort him best you can despite your half-assed friendship!”

“It’s our fault she’s like this, Jubes! We were supposed to make sure she didn’t fall asleep anywhere besides her room, and we couldn’t do it.”

“Scott, she was getting weaker every day, this would have happened no matter what—“

His voice got louder, yet he was practically shaking, “No, we had the most simple task in the world! And we couldn’t do it! We’re the X-Men and we couldn’t even keep a girl from falling asleep!”

Jean hugged Scott, running her fingers through his hair. “It’s not your fault. She does this every year— and it’s not like you ignored her.”

“What if it was you instead? I’d be just like Warren…”

“Don’t say that—” She kissed the top of his head. “You’d be fine.”

“I think we should discuss this with Warren and the Professor before we do anything, drastic.” Hank’s final words were clearly aimed at Scott.

“We can wake her up…”

Everyone was still in the lab, but this time Warren and Professor Xavier were present. Warren didn’t move, he was focused on what Hank was telling him and what it actually meant.

“But… she could die if not done correctly. Waking up an animal early out of hibernation could kill it, but getting a plant out of its dormant season would just weaken it, if done too quickly though, it could kill the plant.”

“Hank,” Charles rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I thought we agreed, when (Y/N) goes dormant, we do not disturb her. We agreed with her parents several years ago.”

“Yeah, but that was when she was a kid. She’s older now, and everyone’s distraught. Her boyfriend—“

“Oh, please,” Charles scoffed. “If I got on my knees and tried to align the stars every time Erik got hurt, there wouldn’t even be a school.”

“Cut the crap. You and Erik fight and make up like some divorced couple in a soap opera. When Erik gets hurt, you’re always the first to know.”

Xavier didn’t say anything out loud, he just glared.

“Um, personally, uh, sorry,” Warren awkwardly cut in. “I think if (Y/N) might die if we wake her up, then it’s not worth it. And if her parents agreed, letting her sleep is the best thing, then it probably is.”

Warren didn’t even want to think about her folks. Could you imagine? Their daughter dies because some dumb goth boy couldn’t handle her taking a three-month-long nap without him. Yeah, that’d impress them.

Charles clapped his hands together, “Well, there! It’s settled then. (Y/N) is fine as she is. I know this is upsetting for her to not be present around the holidays, but we can all assume she would want us to have fun and be kind to others, showing compassion and always helping those in need.”

Warren couldn’t sleep. He was restless in bed— too hot, then too cold, he’d have the beginnings of a nightmare or no dream at all— he was sure Kurt would have kicked him out by now if he hadn’t made the decision to sleep in Peter and Scott’s room for the night.

His tossing and turning made him have to pee. He got up and went over to the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror as he dried his hands he sighed. Warren looked so tired, but he didn’t know what to do.

For the first time since Germany, he truly felt alone.

He grabbed the two gifts stored under his bed and he quietly walked down the halls.

None of the doors were locked, it was almost too easy for him to get into Hank’s lab.

He flicked on the light switch, even though he didn’t need to. Her sleeping figure made his heart almost burst out of his chest. Warren felt so awkward standing there.

He set the gifts down on a chair and walked over to (Y/N).

“Hi…” No response. “Um, I don’t know if you can hear me… but like, Jubilee and Kurt watch all those soaps and they always have characters talking to people in comas so I figured, maybe, just maybe, you could hear something… anyway, um… I miss you. I really miss you and I wish you’d said something about all this…” He sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, with homework and chores and training. It’s been driving Kurt crazy that I’m up all the time, but I can’t sleep most nights…”

He paused for a moment, for the thought of, Am I crazy? Flashed through his brain.

“I got you that fancy water filtered you wanted for Christmas… along with some mollisol soil in a jar…” He huffed in amusement while glancing at the gifts. “Peter made fun of me. He said, “No girl wants a jar of dirt for Christmas.” But I know you’d be happy with it— trying to divide it equally among every plant in your room, your eyes lighting up when you see improvements in them…” Warren looked at (Y/N) and smiled sadly.

“We haven’t even been dating for a whole year, but it feels like it’s been forever…” His eyes watered and his voice faltered, “And that’s love… Isn’t it?... Everyone tells me something different, but— I think I love you. No— I know I love you. I love you and, and, I don’t know… I don’t know what I’ll do while you’re here. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and see everyone all happy like nothing’s wrong— or Scott kissing Jean when he thinks no one’s looking if I can’t put my arm around you and pull you closer and give him a look that states we’re a cuter couple…” Warren almost laughed at himself. His dumb competition with Scott.

“I know you’d want me to pretend like nothing’s wrong because it isn’t— but it is… I don’t know what to do…”

Kurt knocked on the door of his room the next morning. “Warren! Merry Christmas!” No response.

“I need to brush my teeth.” Still no answer.

Kurt opened the door himself, “Warren?” The room was empty. “Where are you?”

“Hey, Kurt,” Scott peaked in, still in pajamas. “Everything alright?”

“Warren’s gone.”

“He’s probably downstairs already. Peter and Jubilee are, I bet he’s with them.”

“Oh. You’re probably right.” Scott bid him goodbye and went to Jean’s room. Kurt still couldn’t get the feeling that Scott was wrong out of his system.

Hank and Alex were headed down to the lab, giggling and acting like kids sneaking around.

“Alex,” Hank breathed in between laughs, “I just wanna check on (Y/N).”

“I know,” He managed between the kisses he left all over Hank’s neck.

“Give me five minutes. Then we can join the others.”

Alex frowned as Hank opened the door. “I want to be alone with you.”

“Wasn’t this morning enough?” Hank joked.

Alex rolled his eyes and hugged Hank from behind.

Hank smiles and walked into the med Bay Area, where (Y/N) was put.

He was shocked, to say the least. Alex too.

“Did he wake her?” Alex whispered.

“I don’t think so. Her heart rate hasn’t changed.”

Alex gently shook Warren’s shoulder, “Hey, kid, time to get up.”

He groaned and slowly opened his eyes, squinting to adjust to the light. “Mmmmhmmmggg…”

“Merry Christmas.” Hank teased as he looked over (Y/N)’s vitals.

“Shit.” Warren rubbed his eyes, “Did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah.”

“When did you come down here? I went upstairs at around eleven.” Hank commented.

“You got into our room at 11:37 PM.” Alex corrected him.

“Uhh, I don’t remember…” Warren was too tired to think. He wanted to get something to eat and go back to bed. He didn’t want to see everyone messing around the tree Charles got the younger students to set up. He wanted to go back to sleep right in bed with (Y/N), but he knew Hank wouldn’t let him.

“Everyone’s upstairs,” Hank said.

“I know,” Warren said back.

Alex was preoccupied with his phone. Scott kept texting him where he was— for being the younger brother, he acted like an older one.

“Look, uh, I don’t want to overstep anything—” Hank said somewhat quietly to Warren. “I know we’re not that close, but—“

Warren shot him down, “I don’t need to talk to anyone. But thanks for the offer, Hank.”

Hank pushes his glasses up his nose, “No, it’s not that… When Alex was presumed dead, and we found his body and he was in a coma… I was an emotional wreck. I spent all my time down here, worried he’d wake up any second, or never wake up, or wake up and not remember who I am… We weren’t even dating at the time. I was just so heartbroken because I wasted literal decades avoiding him and my feelings and— sorry. Sorry. I got off track… the point is, I get it. I’m not going to judge you for coming down at night to sleep with her.”

“Just, just don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

Hank nodded understandingly.

“Whatcha guys talking about?” Alex got up and wrapped an arm around Hank.

“How much I love you,” Hank stated matter of factly.

Alex chuckled and kissed Hank’s cheek. “Don’t bother him with that. I’m sure Warren doesn’t want to hear you talk about our relationship.”

“I don’t care,” Warren told him.

“Still— go upstairs. Scott and Kurt think you got kidnapped or something.”

“Alright, alright,” Warren had to laugh, “I will.”

“We’ll meet you up there.”

Neither of the older men spoke until the door shut.

“He loves her.”

“Hmm?” Alex looked at Hank curiously.

“Warren, he loves (Y/N).” Alex hummed in agreement.

“They’re good for each other.”

Warren walked into the common room while chaos was in full motion.

Kurt was teleporting from place to place in the room, Ororo was focusing on making it snow outside, surprisingly, Peter was asleep on the couch, and Jean and Scott were cuddled under a blanket by the fireplace, obviously feeling each other up.

“Warren!” Kurt jumped down and landed at his feet. “Where have you been?”

He shrugged, “Workout.”

“Okay…” Kurt wasn’t convinced, but

“Hey, Warren! I made these brownies, they’re really good—“ She handed him one. “Here!”

“Uh, thanks.” He took a bite out of it. Gooey. Rich chocolate flavor. Yet, it also crumbled. Not half bad.

Warren smiled and nodded, telling Jubilee it was delicious. She was thrilled.

After a round of greetings to everyone, Warren sat on the couch next to Peter. “There’s a present for you…” He murmured, half asleep.

Warren furrowed his brows and looked at the tree. There was one gift left. The wrapping paper was black, with two silver bows on it. Warren smiled sadly at it, as he held it in his arms.

“Aww… It’s you!” Peter teased. Warren laughed a little, before opening it.

It was a box. Obviously, not empty. Warren removed the lid and looked through it. Inside was a disposable camera, an empty photo book, and a letter. He grabbed the letter first and read it.

Warren,

If you’re reading this, I’m either dormant or will be soon. I didn’t tell you anything about it because I’m scared. I’m scared you’d want to break up because I’m not conscious for part of the year. To most people, I’m sure it’d be a major turn off. But as Jubilee sometimes puts it, you’re ‘a little too attached’ to me to break up with me over a long nap. :) Or at least I hope so.

Anyway, I don’t want you moping over me the whole time, because you’ll just be sad and closed off and lose a lot of progress in your mental health. And I worry about you. I’ll be worrying about you quite a bit while I’m hibernating.

Uh, I can also hear everything you say to me. In case you wanna chat. I can’t say anything back, but it’s nice to listen.

I got you the camera and photobook to give you something to do. When I wake up you can catch me up on everything I missed. Take some pictures, save some memes for me, make a playlist of songs you think I’d like, movies I need to watch— Jubilee did it my first year here, and I liked it. I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time sleeping… I sometimes feel that way— I could do schoolwork, or spend time with my plants that still trudge through winter, or hang out with my friends… don’t feel sad, this is a normal bodily function… for me… You’re gonna think it sucks, which is kind of does, but I’ll try to make up for lost time… I love you…

(Y/N)

Warren couldn’t read the last few words, they’d been scratched out. He rubbed his eye, trying not to cry.

“What’d you get?” Peter asked.

“Uh, camera… So (Y/N)’s got photos for when she wakes up…”

“Aww…” Peter cooed. “That’s so cute— Hey guys! Let’s get a group photo!”

“Peter, I don’t— I don’t think that’s necessary—”

“Too bad!” Peter snatched the camera from Warren’s hands and started motioning and yelling at people to get in the frame. “I used to use these all the time as a kid— these little disposable cameras. I loved them!” Peter pressed the button, and a light flashed for a moment. He turned the dial on it and then handed it back to Warren. “You know how to use these, right?”

“Uh…”

“Great! You’ve totally got this.”

Peter was gone in a flash, leaving Warren alone.

He huffed, what was he really going to do with a camera? He didn’t want to bring his girlfriend up to speed with pop culture and all the drama she missed. He wanted to live through it all with her.

But he couldn’t…

Warren went back downstairs to the lab. Nobody stopped him from leaving or even asked where he was going. It was like he had no value in the group without (Y/N), just someone they tolerated, if that even.

He wanted to scream, knowing she could hear, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t find his voice… no words came out… just tears…

He fell down to the floor and cried. That’s all he could do.

You’re so weak! Pathetic! You can’t spend a moment away from her and you cry like a fucking baby! You don’t deserve her…

His sobs were the only things you could hear in the room.

New Year’s came and gone. The X-Men threw a party. Warren took a photo since he knew (Y/N) would have wanted to be there.

He didn’t want to be there. Soon as he took his photo he wanted to leave. He never liked parties, not as a kid, not in Berlin, and not when he came to the mansion— until he started dating (Y/N).

She got invited to several parties. Some were just dorm get-togethers with different groups of kids, others were house parties from the kids at the public school down the road, some were like this… real parties. She always wanted Warren with her when she went, and he never said no. He didn’t always enjoy them, but he didn’t mind. If (Y/N) had a good time, so did he.

But here Warren was, moping in the corner of Xavier’s ballroom.

He didn’t leave his room on Valentine’s day, despite still having classes. He trained for three hours a day, not including the group workouts and training required for all members of the X-Men.

He volunteered to go on more missions. He didn’t want to be stuck in the mansion for more than two days at a time. No one objected, he was a valuable member of the team, and the more experience the better he would get.

He was to go to London for three weeks with Ororo, Hank, Jean, and Scott.

Jean and Scott were excited because this just meant they’d somehow end up in a hotel room alone together at night, while everyone else was sleeping.

Warren was not too thrilled, as he was jealous. No need to sugarcoat it. Warren was jealous that Scott got Jean all 365 days of the year, that he never had to be away from her for more than a week, that they could flaunt their relationship and how happy they were together.

It made his stomach churn, but there was nothing he could do.

“I’m going to London for a few days… If I meet Harry Styles I’ll tell him you’re a fan…” (Y/N) laid in bed, lifeless. Warren tucked his hair behind his ears, making a note to get a haircut soon. “I’m going with Scott, Jean, and Ororo…”

He hated this. He hated talking to her, knowing she could hear him but not say anything back. It was different the few days before Christmas, but now it was all just a mess.

“Bye.” He threw his duffle bag over his shoulder and walked out.

One week.

One week with no cell phones, no homework, nothing. Sure, Warren would probably have to punch a few bad guys, but other than that he just wanted to sleep. He didn’t really care for much anymore. He tried his best to stay engaged and involved, keep himself busy, but it was extremely challenging.

A five-hour flight, with nothing to do.

“You guys excited?” Hank asked.

“Yeah!”

“Definitely.”

“I’m hoping I can use some new moves Mystquie’s been teaching me.”

“Mhmm…” Warren mumbled.

Hank glanced at him. He looked depressing.

“We’re in London for a week, I bet we’ll have some time to do sightseeing or go out.”

“Ooo!” Jean nudged Scott. “That’ll be fun, right babe?”

He nodded, “Oh yeah.”

Warren brought Peter’s walkman with him, and put in his earbuds and closed his eyes, assumingly taking a nap.

Once they arrived and checked into their rooms, Warren was still tired. He wanted to take another nap.

“So, I think we should go out tonight—” Hank handed everyone their room keys, “—You guys have been working really hard, and not much praise is given by Alex or Raven, or Erik when he occasionally shows up… but we’re proud of you.”

“Aww…” “Thanks, Hank…”

Warren just offered a smile.

“We can unpack and get changed if you guys want, we can go out and get some dinner?”

Everyone thought Hank’s plan was good, and they separated into their rooms.

“You doing okay?” Scott asked while unpacking his bag.

“Yeah… Why?”

“You didn’t say anything the whole ride here.”

“I took a nap,” Warren unzipped his bag.

“Oh.”

“I’m not going to unexpectedly burst into tears.” Warren snapped.

“I didn’t say you were—”

“Everyone thinks I am, I’m not stupid. I know you think I’m emotionally unstable and Hank’s been acting all nice on this mission because of it.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

Scott sat down on his bed, “Are you emotionally unstable?”

Warren glared at him, “I’ve been working my ass off for this mission. I’ve trained longer and harder than anybody else. Do I look unstable to you?”

“No! I just thought—”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m gonna shower and get dressed for dinner.” He walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Hank had asked the woman at the front desk a good place to eat. She recommended some local place down the road. He rounded up the kids, despite there only being four of them.

“A night out will do us good.”

“You’ve been saying that,” Warren mumbled.

“You didn’t have to come you know,” Ororo stated.

“I have nothing better to do with my time.”

Ororo kept her mouth shut, knowing she could have said something back, but knowing Warren, it was better not to.

The restaurant was pretty crowded, despite it being the middle of the week, but the group still managed to get a table.

Their server was friendly. They got drinks. They ordered their food.

“You okay, Warren?” Hank noticed he hardly touched his food.

“Mhmm… Just not that hungry. I’ll probably get a box.”

“Oh, okay,” Hank nodded, a little unsure.

They left the restaurant and went back to the hotel. Warren took his shirt off and laid on his bed.

“I’m gonna hang out with Jean… You gonna be okay?”

Warren let out a breathy laugh, “Yeah, yeah. Go have fun, Cyclops… I’m going to bed.”

Warren couldn’t sleep. He didn’t really want to. He turned on the tv, trying to find something to watch.

Someone knocked on the door while he was in the middle of some cooking show. Warren got up and opened his door. “Hey, Ro.”

“Hey, Jean kicked me out. Wanna go for a swim in the pool?”

“Sure.”

He quickly got changed and followed Ororo downstairs.

The got into the elevator and were quiet at first.

“I think they have a hot tub.”

“Cool.”

Ororo glanced at Warren and sighed. “I’m here for you if you want to talk.”

He nodded, “I know.”

“For real. You’re allowed to talk about your feelings.”

“I don’t want to.”

Ororo sighed, “Warren…”

He looked back at her. “I want this all to be over.”

“(Y/N)—”

“It’s not fair! Everyone in my life has left me or used me somehow— and I know she’s different, but it’s not fair! I was so happy with her and—”

The elevator stopped. It wasn’t their floor. The doors opened the reveal a young woman. She had a familiar glow to her and leaves in her hair.

Warren looked at her, feeling lightheaded at seeing her.

“(Y/N)?”

Warren woke up in his hotel bed. He wasn’t sure how he got there. He didn’t even remember going to the pool with Ororo. All he could remember was her.

(Y/N).

He looked over to his left and saw Scott peacefully asleep in his bed, sleep mask on and everything. The TV was off, and so were all the lights. Warren couldn’t go back to bed, it wasn’t an option.

He quietly got out of bed and slipped on his shoes, slowly opening the door, as to not wake Scott.

He went out to the halls. He had no plan, no idea where he was going, but he needed to get out.

He walked around, lost in the halls late at night. He wasn’t tired, but he was upset. He didn’t want to keep crying, he didn’t want to be so dependent on (Y/N), but without her—

The sound of thunder interrupted his thoughts. He looked outside and saw it was raining. It reminded him of (Y/N)— without her, all it did was rain and snow.

Hank said they were looking for someone. Someone Xaiver wanted to bring back to the mansion. This type of mission was more stealth and would require little physical fighting.

Hank got told from an anonymous source she’d be at some socialite gathering.

“Scott, Jean, you’re going to pretend to be some young, rich, American couple. Get in there, find our target, and get her alone. Convince her to come back with us if that doesn’t work let us know on the comms.”

“What does she look like?”

“Her name is Betsy Braddock—” Hank pulled up a file with all her information on his tablet.

“What does Xavier want with her?” Warren asked, anger rising in his tone.

Betsy… She left him to die in Egypt. She got him wrapped up in the Apocalypse cult nonsense. He didn’t want to see her again, he didn’t want to see her ever.

“She knows something about the attacks in Italy we dealt with around Christmas, plus she’s somewhat telepathic… I know your past with her is messy, but—”

“It’s fine. I don’t care.” Everyone looked at Warren, surprised at his statement.

“Alright. You guys know what to do— Jean, Scott, get dressed and ready for the party. I’ll get you an uber— Ororo, Warren, You guys are going to a hideout location not far from the location of the party, in case backup is needed. I’m going to stay and operate things here.

The first few hours of the mission went as expected. Jean and Scott made small talk with people, trying to find Betsy.

Warren didn’t want to see her, or more, he didn’t want her to see him in his current emotional state. But it didn’t matter what he wanted. He argued and insisted on joining this mission, and now he could see why Xavier was hesitant to let him go.

“I see her,” Jean said. “She’s not with anyone.”

Jean’s earpiece was quiet after that.

Warren and Ororo sat there for what felt like forever. Jean and Scott talked occasionally, but it was never directly to them.

The young couple eventually lured Betsy into an empty room.

“You didn’t really bring me up here to sleep with me, did you?” She asked, messing with her hair in the slight reflection from a window.

Jean shook her head, “No. But we want you to come back with us… You’ve heard of Charles Xavier…”

Betsy nodded.

“He wants you to help him with the attacks on the mutant community in southern Italy.”

“What will he give me in return?” Scott and Jean exchanged a quick glance. They weren’t exactly sure.

Scott’s voice faltered slightly, “You can…”

Jean finished his sentence. “—You can discuss that with him when we get to New York.”

Betsy turned her head to look at them, “And what if I say no?”

“We’ll chase you down until you do,” Scott stated with more confidence than before.

“Alright. I’ll go with you.”

Betsy had no idea Warren was in London, or even alive for that matter. Warren had no idea how she was going to react, and he didn’t really want to find out.

But he didn’t really have an option.

“Give us time to pack up and we can leave for Westchester,” Jean explained in the ride back to the hotel.

“Who else is with you?”

“Dr. McCoy is back at the hotel, and Ororo and Warren should be there too.” Betsy’s expression changed. “You probably know them as—”

“I know exactly who they are. I thought Warren died…”

Scott shook his head, “Nope. He’s doing great.” Scott blinked away the uncertainty hidden behind his words.

Betsy nodded, unsure what to say. She thought about maybe jumping out of the car, and never seeing these people again. She knew Warren would be angry when he saw her. She couldn’t blame him.

“He’s not upset with you…” Betsy looked at Jean, a bit shocked. “He’s hurting from something else… Don’t ask about it… just trust me...”

“Easy for you to say.” Betsy scoffed.

Jean shook her head, “You’ll see…”

“We’re here.” The driver stopped the car and the three got out.

Betsy looked up at the hotel the group was staying at, “Nice place.”

They walked in and headed to the nearest elevator. Jean was fidgeting with the comm in her ear.

“We got back about twenty minutes ago,” Ororo said.

“We’re on our way to our rooms,” Jean replied.

The elevator dinged, signaling it was at the destined floor.

They packed up quickly, and stood out in the hall, bags in hand.

Hank introduced himself to Betsy. Her response was short, she was preoccupied with her ex-boyfriend standing less than five feet away from her.

“Hi.”

He looked sad and more tired than usual. Seeing him sober was mind-blowing to Betsy, but people change. She hadn’t seen him in a few years— sure they saw each other during the Apocalypse incident, but that was a few days— she was really going to see him this time.

He didn’t respond to her. She frowned.

The plane ride was long and tedious. Betsy had nothing to do and wanted nothing more than to leave. So, she decided to try and talk to Warren again.

“Hey.” He turned his head around best he could and looked at Betsy questioningly. She nodded. “What’s up?”

“Not much.” Warren wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk.

“Cool… Cool…”

There was a pause before Warren spoke up, “Do you need anything?”

“Just wanted to talk…”

“You have other options.”

Betsy rolled her eyes.

“I don’t really wanna talk to you right now… And I don’t need you poking around in my head either.”

“I wasn’t going to,” She said calmly.

Warren didn’t respond. Betsy sighed, he was useless. Warren wasn’t going to talk even if she forced him. And she couldn’t really blame him, but she had a lingering feeling in her stomach.

Probably just my dinner digesting…

At some point, Betsy fell asleep, for when the plane landed Hank had to wake her up. She rubbed her eyes and undid her seatbelt.

“Do we have to go through security again?” Scott asked.

“Yeah, we left the country,” Hank told him while glancing at his watch.

Scott was not too thrilled. Everyone was tired to some degree. It was extremely late, and they went back a few hours due to the time zone.

“It won’t be that long. There’s hardly anyone here.”

Everyone went through security and headed to the baggage claim to get their stuff.

Jean was the first to get her suitcase— a medium-sized, teal one— Warren was next, and his was all black, to no one’s surprise, but the nametag on it looked drastic tied to the handle.

It was clear, with glitter and flowers trapped inside it. It didn’t seem like Warren at all to Betsy, but what did she know?

Hank took Betsy to an empty room and told her she could sleep there for the time being. She set her bags on the floor and looked around. There was a dated-looking wallpaper upon the walls, and the bed took up a little under half of the room.

It was alright.

Betsy rummaged through her bag for some pajamas when she heard footsteps.

Hank had left almost immediately after he showed her the room, so it couldn’t be him. She opened the door only to see Warren walking down the hall. She quietly followed him, staying several steps behind.

He went down to the main floor, and even further down into the basement.

This place is huge! Betsy said to herself.

The basement looked different from the rest of the mansion, for the walls and floor were made of metal.

Warren turned right, into a room within the basement. Betsy held her breath as she got closer.

What is he doing down here?

Betsy caught sight of a girl laying in a hospital bed. Warren sat down next to her and started talking…

That’s why he’s on edge… Betsy had accidentally bumped into something, making a loud noise.

Warren shot up, “Who’s there?”

Betsy tried to sneak out, but Warren caught her.

“Betsy!”

She froze.

“Why were you following me?”

“Why are you visiting a coma patient at three in the morning?” She asked back.

“She’s my girlfriend.”

“I mean I figured as much—”

“So leave.” He cut her off and was sharp. “Please…” He pleaded more in his last word.

She looked at her unconscious figure, “I could help…”

“No,” He was stern.

“I could—” “—You’d kill her.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” She defended.

“Yeah, you would. Her mutation makes her basically hibernate until March, so she’s fine.”

“I could still help— I’ve helped you before…”

“No, you didn’t! You were constantly going in and out of my life whenever it was convenient for you and came back when I didn’t need you too! You— you ruined my life!”

Betsy felt a wave of guilt wash over her.

“Look…” Warren sighed. “Betsy… I’m sorry. I don’t want your help… I don’t want you to hurt her.”

Betsy nodded, she knew Warren wasn’t going to change his mind.

“Okay.”

“What?”

“I won’t help you.” She left the medical room, leaving Warren alone with his thoughts.

Over the next few days, Betsy accommodated herself to the mansion, giving Xavier the information he wanted, and exploring the grounds.

She was almost always accompanied by Jubilee, per some people’s request, seeing as her past wasn’t spotless.

Jubilee was full of energy, and always willing to tell Betsy whatever she asked about.

“Who’s Warren’s girlfriend?”

“Her name is (Y/N). She controls plants. She can also grow them from her body. And her eyes change color based on her mood… She’s uh, she’s not around at the moment, but that’s not important.”

Betsy nodded along as Jubilee spoke. “Is he happy?”

“Do you miss him?”

Betsy struggled to let out a straight answer, “No— ugh— I just— I ruined his life.”

“You didn’t ruin his life!” Betsy glared at her. “Okay, okay, maybe you kind of did ruin his life, but he’s fine now. He’s just a little on edge you’re here and (Y/N) isn’t.”

“I don’t need to stay here—”

“Bullshit!” Jubilee exclaimed. “You’ve got nowhere else to go, really.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

Betsy was rarely ever alone. She was too busy helping the X-Men.

She had a few moments to herself though. She was never sure what to do. She couldn’t just up and leave and go out to some bar and sulk in a corner and come back drunk and angry— that’d paint her as extremely irresponsible. She didn’t want to bore or impose on the X-Men if she didn’t have to.

She wandered around the mansion. It was massive and somewhat old and stuffy looking, but also gave off those classic school vibes.

Betsy wandered into the basement at some point and quickly learned, that was where the X-Men trained, made battle and mission plans, stored their jet, Hank worked on costumes and more in his lab, and where their medical bay was kept.

She knew she shouldn’t be down there alone. Betsy wasn’t going to do anything bad, but it felt wrong.

She was watching a girl in a coma sleep. There were so many things wrong about that.

Of course, no one would really care, except for maybe Warren— but he had every good reason to.

“You keep visiting me.”

Betsy almost jumped. The voice had startled her. She thought she was alone.

“Jean?” But didn’t sound like Jean. Betsy couldn’t decipher who it was.

She sat there for another thirty minutes, hoping the voice would return, but it didn’t.

So she got up and left.

It was probably just a student. My telepathic abilities aren’t the strongest. It was probably just a student somewhere on the grounds…

She didn’t tell anyone about the voice. She didn’t want to seem crazy, because it probably didn’t mean anything.

“Hey, guys! I found this on my google drive! It’s a bunch of videos from Xavier’s fourth of July party!” Peter had his laptop open at a table, with a few papers spread about.

Everyone, including Betsy, gathered around Peter as he played a few video clips.

It was Warren, Peter, Scott, and (Y/N) all together in the first one. They were walking in a parking lot with shopping bags in their hands.

“We just spent—” Peter cut Warren off.

“We just spent $2,000 on fireworks! Holy fuck!” Everyone else is laughing at his enthusiasm.

“Can’t Jubilee just produce fireworks? Why did we need this many anyway?”

“It’s for the American aesthetic, (Y/N)!”

They got into the car and Peter was still recording.

“Weren’t you born in Poland or something?”

“America was founded on immigration—”

The clip was cut off, and the next one played automatically. But Betsy remembered the voice. The female one. It was like the one she heard in the basement… was (Y/N) trying to contact her?

She tried to focus as the next few clips played, she needed to hear (Y/N)’s voice again.

“Kurt, look—” Peter was still recording with his smartphone, he had zoomed in on a darker part of Xavier’s. It was a tree, and two people were leaning up against it— clearly making out.

“Jean told me she went to get more popsicles!” Kurt whined.

Everyone watching was laughing, except for Scott and Jean, who were extremely embarrassed they got caught.

“You ain’t slick, Summers.”

“Shut up.”

Footsteps could be heard. “What are we doing?” (Y/N) asked.

“Look—” Kurt motioned to the couple at the tree.

“Oh, gross. They don’t even know we’re watching! And to think… Warren went inside to see what Jean was doing…”

“Well, he won’t find out,” Kurt joked.

Betsy knew she heard (Y/N) voice in the basement… but why? Was she a ghost? Did her unconscious state allow her to communicate telepathically?

She needed to go back there, alone, but she knew that was almost impossible. Hank was almost always down in the lab, and Warren was almost always visiting (Y/N).

That didn’t really matter to her. Betsy needed to talk to her or hear her voice again. She thought about asking Jean, but she thought that would be fruitless.

She went to visit (Y/N) again, but this time she spoke to her.

“Can you hear me?”

No response.

“My name is Betsy Braddock. I know who you are and I’m not going to hurt you.”

Betsy huffed, “This is stupid!” She got up and began to walk out.

“Wait!” Betsy froze. (Y/N) said something. “You keep visiting me…”

“I’m just curious about you,” Betsy responded.

“Why?”

“I don’t know I—”

“Betsy?” Warren’s voice was stern and almost angry. “What are you doing here?”

“I can hear her. Like, with my abilities… I know you didn’t really want me down here and I understand—”

“Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to see if I could communicate with her telepathically…” She admitted. “That’s all. I’m not trying to wake her or anything.”

“I’m sorry… but I can hear people and it’s nice to have someone who can hear me back…”

Betsy, plagued with guilt, looked over at (Y/N), whos lifeless form hadn’t changed a bit, despite the obvious sadness in her words.

“I just feel, so bad and I don’t know why and… I ruined your life. There’s no shortcut, without me you would have left the fighting ring in less than three weeks… You’d have your feathery wings still… but I loved you and I couldn’t let go, and I thought bringing Apocalypse to you would make up for all the shit I did…”

“I was a kid. I didn’t even know what love meant! And I’m not avoiding you on purpose, I don’t resent you as much as I did when I first came here… but I don’t know what you want, okay? Our lives aren’t connected anymore, and I just want (Y/N) back...” Warren was biting down on his lip to keep himself from breaking down crying.

“Tell him I’m sorry.”

“(Y/N) said she’s sorry…”

Warren’s gaze shifted between the two girls.

“Why is she sorry?”

“All I’ve done since Christmas is make him unhappy and upset. He deserves someone who isn’t asleep for part of the year.”

“She said, you deserve someone who isn’t asleep for part of the year.”

Warren walked over to (Y/N)’s body, he held her hand in his. “It’s not about what I may or may not deserve. It’s about what I want and love.”

“I love him…”

Betsy was about to repeat what she said, but Warren was crying. He had let a single tear drip down.

It landed on (Y/N)’s hand. And soon as it did, her eyes flew open.

She was gasping for air, eyes squinting up at the fluorescent lights. (Y/N) heard voices.

“She’s awake…”

“It’s almost March, that might be too early—“

“—I’ll be fine,” (Y/N) interrupted. She rubbed her eyes and turned her eyes away from the lights, looking over at Warren, who was at her side, tears in his eyes.

“Betsy, go get Hank.” He instructed. Warren looked back at (Y/N), holding her hand in his, and his other cupping her cheek.

“Hi.” She murmured in a groggy tone.

“Hi.” He kissed her forehead. “I missed you.”

“I know… I’m sorry…”

“Sorry?” Warren was perplexed. “What for?”

“I couldn’t stay awake, and I hurt you, Warren. I made you cry and think you weren’t good enough for me…” She snuffled her nose.

“That’s bullshit. You could never hurt me. I was crying because I couldn’t do anything. The last time I saw you was before I went to Italy on some dumb mission— I missed you… I missed your smile, I missed how you’d make flower crowns and put them on my head, how I could go to you after a nightmare no matter what time of night it was, or how you told me I helped you become more assertive and learn it’s okay to say no, or you showing me the beauty in everything— I…” His voice was breaking, but all (Y/N) could see in his eyes was happiness. “I can’t live without you… I love you.”

“Oh, Warren, baby…” She squeezed his hand.

Warren cupped her face with his free hand and kissed her.

That one kiss said everything he wanted to say. It let out his feelings. It had passion and swiftness backing it up, followed by his undying love for (Y/N).

She kissed him back, trying to make up for the time they’ve lost. Her lips fit prefectures against his.

It was like the first time they kissed, full of everything she wanted, except much longer, with more meaning to it.

They broke apart slowly, almost as if they didn’t want to.

“I love you too…” She murmured.

#warren worthington iii x reader #x-men x reader #warren worthington x reader #warren x reader #warren worthington iii #warren worthington #angel x reader #archangel #archangel x reader #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy #x-men spinoff #ben jones #angel #ben jones x reader

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somestansomewhere · 3 years

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Debbie Gallagher: ALL Love Interests RANKED

Okay! I tried to rank all of Debs’ love interests and it was hard to do because I am not set on that ONE PERSON that I ship her with above all else, but these are my thoughts! Keep in mind that these are all MY OPINIONS and you are entitled to yours as well! Let’s talk about it! If you read all this ILY.

Here we go:

...................................

23. The Guy At The Pool (Season 5)

He thought Debs was special needs and she tried to flirt with him...

22. Kelly (Season 9-10)

I LOVE Kelly so much but she was not into Debbie! I really love her with Carl and Debbie should not have tried to interfere! I will however say that I really really REALLY enjoy their friendship and I wish that that would have continued on. They had some really good moments together.

20/21. Eugene (Season 6) & Board Game Guy (Season 7)

Alright so these two don’t technically count because Frank tried to set Debbie up with Eugene so that she’d be written into his will. And the Board Game Guy was from a deleted scene as one of Debbie’s “life partners” from that flyer she made. So enough said.

18/19. Tyler (Season 6) & Erika (Season 6)

Again, Frank attempted to set Debbie up with Tyler and while that “potential relationship” wasn’t as bad as what happened between her and Erika, I am grouping them together because Debbie wasn’t technically into either of them and it was set up to fail right from the start.

17. Larry (Season 6)

The pregnancy fetish guy! I’m not quite sure what the intentions were for this character in the long run but it was a funny joke in the episode he was in. Even in the beginning Larry gave off red flags, but Debbie was happy... until the truth was revealed. Weird.

16. Jared (Season 11)

Another irrelevant love interest: the gay guy that cheated on his husband with Debbie after giving her cocaine. Obvious issues with this encounter/plot line aside, I did feel that their interactions at the bar were flirtatious and I didn’t hate him.

15. Calista (Season 11)

ANOTHER irrelevant character that was used and never brought back!!! I didn’t totally hate her either, she was upfront about her ex-girlfriend and that whole situation. She helped Debbie and didn’t take advantage of her but the second she came on screen; I’m sorry but I did not give a fuck. Her last episode built up a potential friend/relationship opportunity for Debbie and they just did nothing with it. Idfk what else to say, not a fan but I did appreciate Calista trying to take care of Debbie when she clearly was drinking too much.

14. Sandy (Season 10-11)

Oh boy, everyone’s favorite partner of Debbie’s... Yeah, Sandy is so low on this list not necessarily because I didn’t like her for Debbie, or that I have beef with Elise (b/c I love her as an actor sm). I personally just hate the sheer fact that this character EXISTS in the first place. I never understood the hype, but I know that people only like her because she’s a Milkovich ie. related to Mickey. That’s the hard truth this fandom isn’t willing to admit. My disliking Sandy should be a post of its own but lemme get into her relationship with Debbie.

You could tell that Emma and Elise liked working together so the chemistry was sorta there (definitely not soulmate shit tho). Each time that they interacted in s10 I was over it. S11 was better in the sense that whether I would like to admit it or not, they did have some “cute moments” (mainly just Sandy calling Debbie babe/babes). The second shit hit the fan in regards to Sandy’s history, I immediately understood Debbie’s issue with her and why her character would not want to be with Sandy. But, with that being said, Debbie was also in the wrong because she made everything about herself throughout the entire course of this relationship! Sandy did call her out, ex: “who was supposed to take Franny to school?”, and things like that were nice. HOWEVER I am sorry to say, this relationship felt like a massive waste of time and it felt like they were trying to force something that shouldn’t have existed to begin with. I don’t have the patience to even analyze this anymore, but maybe down the line because clearly there is SO MUCH to delve into!

13. Alex (Season 9)

Omg I did not like this relationship/plotline at all. Alex had issues but Debbie was so inconsiderate! I never saw the appeal here! It was nice that Alex had the decency to go and help Debs with Ford after the fact. I just feel “meh” about this tho. They had moments but ultimately I personally wasn’t into it and Debbie’s random newfound self discovery of “lesbianism”.

12. Kyle (Season 3)

Emma Kenney’s first kiss! Kyle was a one episode character that did have the potential to be more than that. I didn’t hate the kid as Debbie’s love interest, but there also wasn’t anything special about him. He was just kinda there and then he left. Debbie really seemed to like him though, spelling his name in her peas, etc.. I do like that one line about cigarettes that Kyle had but again he was such a short lived character and when he turned out not to be related to Kevin it became unnecessary to keep him around... even if the episode alluded to him returning. They were sorta cute!

11. Claudia (Season 10)

So I didn’t like this relationship much either but there was a certain kind of stability in the relationship that felt organic and nice. Partly because I enjoyed watching Constance Zimmer and she made Claudia likeable. Do I ship it? No. Was it a problematic dynamic? Yes. Was it a tolerable relationship? Eh. I didn’t hate it entirely though. Debbie, being a Gallagher, eventually fucked it up. And while I did like the drama, Debbie wasn’t REALLY into Claudia as much as she may have believed she was. So, it totally felt like a one off that would end with Claudia not returning... and it was. So there was no time for an investment of any kind.

10. Hedi (Season 11)

Gosh... Debbie’s endgame(?). Hedi was introduced too late for me to care enough about her (At this point it would have made sense for Debbie to wind up with Calista because at least she was already introduced!). I don’t necessarily like Hedi as a character and quite frankly it was a “who tf does SHE think she is” kinda deal for me. At first I was interested and didn’t hate her (and I don’t), but then she “thought she was Jimmy” and I instantly got annoyed (LOL I GUESS it was a nice nod to him tho... I guess).

My (several) problems with Hedi as a character aside, there IS something about Hedi being presented as this “dangerous badass” who is (somehow) WORSE than Debbie, that worked well. I’m not a fan of the ship, but it is an interesting dynamic in the sense that Debbie could potentially be “living on the edge”. I fear for what trouble this could cause Debbie BUT it’s like Frank referenced: Monica vibes. I don’t think it’s “true love” like Debbie said to Franny. A constant storyline for Debbie has been “why can’t anyone ever love me” and so she falls in quickly. Maybe Hedi will leave her but that’s the thing, “she’s done worse” so idk, either way I don’t think it’s meant to last! But I guess I don’t mind them being together! Karma’s a bitch! Will Carl tell her what Arthur found? Would it even make a difference?

9. Julia (Season 10)

I would have actually rather preferred her with Carl too! It was never love between Debbie and Julia, but the relationship did create good conflict for my viewing pleasure. UNPOPULAR OPINION, I didn’t mind Julia as a character at all. She was fine for me. I also enjoyed how ultimately SHE was only using Debbie in the end. Julia does admit later on that she was experiencing with her sexuality so maybe she did have feelings for Debbie at one point, which I thought was interesting. Debbie got herself into this one. At least Julia was more age appropriate than Claudia... (which is ironic since Debbie got in trouble for being with Julia when the age gap is MUCH bigger between Claudia and Debbie LOL I love it)! I also found Julia annoying Debbie to be amusing, that’s not to say that I liked her a lot either cuz I don’t!

8. Matty (Season 4-5)

Man do I feel bad for Matty! Debbie raped him and it was horrible. From the get-go when Matty was introduced the relationship was hella awkward!! And not only that but Debbie was a MINOR! Matty did do the right thing and said they couldn’t be together but a part of me will always feel strange that he WAS INITIALLY attracted to Debbie before learning her age. That to me is still wildly inappropriate. He shoulda cut it off. He did try to be her friend and took her to that dance which was cute but ahhh this was just a MESS all around. Cringe. At least he didn’t take advantage.

7. Henry (Season 4)

Speaking of Matty and that dance, Henry was supposed to take her. He asked her as a joke in order for Seama to inflict revenge on Debbie. If that weren’t the case however... DAMN THEY WERE CUTE! The potential that this relationship could have had! If only it wasn’t all an act! It was a “day worth of love” and sure that’s not enough for two people to REALLY be IT, yet there was something charming about their connection that I wish was real. Or idk maybe Henry could have reconnected with her later and apologized and it could have been revealed that he did actually like her... but that wasn’t the case. Fuck him!

6. Simon (Season 1-2)

Debbie was NOT interested in Simon at all but at the time he was almost like the male version of her. Their banter back and forth was fun to watch and he probably would have treated her well. It’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to even see their friendship progress. Their interactions were funny and he was a good guy!

5. Batiste (Season 10)

Y’all may not understand why this guy is so high on the list but a part of me wishes this character wasn’t a one off. Batiste is the dude Debbie tried to return her “unused” shoes to. If you can recall, he wanted a blowjob to take advantage of her. While this was a dick move (and the plot went nowhere) a part of me would have liked to see more! He did have an arc where he acted like an ass and realized that it is wrong to degrade women. I just think it could have been built upon and Emma may have had chemistry with this actor. There was something here that I didn’t hate and I felt it could have been expanded upon.

4. Little Hank (Season 2-3)

Debbie’s first real crush! It was interesting to see how he didn’t like her at first and then a “friendship/relationship” slowly started to develop after he gave her flowers. IT JUST NEVER CONTINUED! Little Hank was in no way the most upstanding, but it was cool to see Carl have a friend that Debbie crushed on (when she was little she wasn’t intentionally taking something away from Carl ie. Kelly, so I support it). Their interactions were fun to watch too! The fandom definitely has a soft spot for Little Hank! And at one point everyone was rooting for them to be together. Too bad we never discovered what ended up happening to this character!

3. Neil (Season 7-8)

The bathtub scene tho! Adorable! There was a short moment within this relationship that was super cute where the two of them really did seem to care about each other and may have both been in love. It goes without saying that Debbie was only using him, but they did have SOME potential and they found a common ground where they each benefited each other’s needs. Debbie once again was TOO controlling and self absorbed to make it work, but I don’t think she was entirely happy in a relationship with him. He deserved more respect!

2. Derek (Season 5-8)

Baby Daddy! I really did enjoy them together until Debbie took advance of him and Franny came into the picture, but at the same time that’s one of the reasons that Derek, as a character, has a deeper connection to Debbie and the audience. I always enjoyed their flirting back and forth and the relationship they had (the deleted scene with the card/push up game ahh my heart)! Debbie really did mess up due to her desperation to “belong to a family”, which is another one of her consistent character traits. She just went too far and tried to trap him. Then shit got messed up between their families. Derek did eventually ask for parcial custody and did have a desire to be a part of Franny’s life. Debbie said no and that plot line died until s10. Pepa!! Ahh! RIP to Derek, it was sad to me that he died. Definitely a character and relationship that I wish was incorporated more because I truly enjoyed them together.

1. Duran (Season 8)

Besties with benefits! Stop! Nobody talks about my guy Duran! Sure they both said that this relationship was of a sexual nature and that they were just a couple of friends but damn! The chemistry and dynamic was palpable! It is truly a shame that we didn’t get to see more of this friendship! They were on common ground and really did care about each other! I don’t know why but I really just LOVED them together! Duran was also in her friend group with Farhad and that was a group that seemed to have a positive impact on Debbie as a person. S8 Debbie was cool! These two complemented each other so nicely! Duran wasn’t by any means the best influence on her because he almost lead Debbie down a “Monica path” but come on, Hedi is worse in that department. He was getting his life together like Debbie was with her profession. Just think of the hair convos Duran and Tami could have had Lol. Idk, I just like Debbie with him a lot! It was healthy to an extent and he was supportive of Debs with Franny.

#I could write so much more for each of these but I’ll spare you #guys nobody talks about the AMOUNT of love interests Debbie had over the course of this damn show #I miss characters with a lot of depth!#I want to do more of these relationship lists for other characters #my lists #my favs #shameless #gallavich #debbie gallagher #franny gallagher #sandy milkovich #debbie x sandy

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bloodyshadow1 · 3 years

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just finished Alanna’s route and I gotta say, I’d give it a C, it wasn’t bad, but I didn’t see a lot of good either. There was so much crammed in as much as possible between the Society (that we barely get to see anything of), Time travel (which is fine but done pretty poorly with little buildup or fanfare or explanation), Immortals (like time travel, a decent story enough on it’s own, but only mentioned in the final 3rd of the story and barely talked about afterward), and Magic power stones (pretty vague power system that no one seems interested in telling the MC about) it feels like they accidently threw 4 darts at the idea board this time and never bothered to throw again. It’s such a mess that the MC has to take on faith without ever being given a real reason to side with the Circle over anyone else other than her ex girlfriend is part of it and they hate her dad. It’s so quick and it doesn’t ever feel like the right decision at least to me since you spend so little time with the Circle even as background characters to Alanna’s story.

Alanna as a character is kind of meh for me overall. Physically her design is fine, seems cute more than hot or sexy, but sort of bland and generic. there are other cute love interests that never felt this generic, she feels like she should be the sister or best friend character instead of the love interest of the MC. It doesn’t help that by making her the MC’s ex returned, we know little to nothing about her, so much of a romance arc is missing because even if the MC knows, we the player don’t know what’s so great about Alanna. All of Alanna’s character feels told instead of shown, the MC seems to worship the ground she walks on, but the actual story leaves much to be desired because we don’t really see her do anything super charming or amazingly skilled. She’s pretty, but she’s not even the most beautiful woman in her route much less London or the world. I could understand why the MC would love her since she’s still hung up on her, so I could believe it if I took the story with a grain of salt, but the fact that her personality seems to be she’s so charming and everyone loves her without every truly delivering on such claims makes her whole route fall even flatter than it’s plot led to. The fact that the MC slept with her right away as a ‘palette cleanser’ was sort of interesting, but it still felt like being told about her, nothing about what she and the MC had gone through felt like she was so irresistible that the MC would need to get her out of her system, because we don’t know anything really about her relationship with Alanna. And that’s a big problem to her selling points as a love interest

We don’t know all the stories the MC has with Alanna, especially if they only dated for 2 months, the audience/player/readers, need to understand why the MC is in love with their love interest besides the route being named after them, by making their entire relationship when they first fell in love we miss all of that and are left with empty feelings and gestures between the two of them. The little back and forths between them about their past are okay to start with, but nothing about Alanna as a character from her 12 chapters makes me believe that she’s so lovely the MC can overlook her massive flaws and go along with her very unpersuasive desire to have the MC join them to help the world. Her depression and feelings of helplessness after 200 years was interesting, but it felt like it came too late. I’m actually really glad the MC called her out on her bullshit, by the end of her first chapter, I get a bit of where she’s coming from, but what Alanna did to the MC was fucked up and she doesn’t get to just pretend it never happened.

Plot wise, the story is a mess, like Alanna, so much of the story is told to the MC and she’s supposed to take it on faith that the Circle is somehow more morally right than the rest of the Society. It fails because the Circle has barely any real character, they have interesting traits that if they were around more to make me care about them as something other than the vehicle to do the time travel and nothing more. In so many routes, you’re introduced to all your love interests at the same time and they’re already a group, while you spend the most time with your love interest, you get to know most of the characters as people outside of their routes, but the rest of the Circle is pretty bland. Not to mention that the Society is built up as this big maybe evil maybe just powerful and in the wrong hands thing..., but you barely interact with them at all. The only people tell the MC and her brother that the Society is bad is the Circle who are actively members of it and nothing about what they say or do makes me feel like they’re any more trust worthy than the rest of the society except most of them are going to be future love interests. In Alanna’s route, the only member of the Society not in the Circle that has a unique character portrait is Arabella and she’s kind of a more interesting character with a more sympathetic story than the Circle. We hear about how corrupt and morally bankrupt the higher ups in the Society are, and we know the MC hates her dad, who seems to be considered the worst, but aside from being a bit stuff and arrogant, (much like the wealthy elite of our world) we don’t see much evil, and it confuses me if the Circle wants to bring down the Society or try and take control of it for the greater good without much of a reason to trust them.

The Immortal plot point fell flat to me, like the story basically skipped over the time travel plot device by making it literally a this happens and barely talk about it, but adding the Immortality plot felt unneeded in a narrative that needed a lot more structure, not irons in the fire. I feel like if Alanna/your love interest was the only one of the Circle that was immortal other than the Elites of the Society it would have made a better route to go. Having an immortal character in your romantic story is fertile ground, they could be a tragic figure, a figure who is hedonistic and loving their immortality, etc, there are plenty of ways to go, an immortal character with a bunch of their pals who are already incredibly powerful and have a vague sense of goodness about them, makes it feel far from a curse or whatever they’re trying to portray it here. It could have also been introduced better to the MC by say meeting Arabella in the present day and being shocked by seeing her and needing confirmation from the Circle or Alanna, instead of Alanna dropping it in a mood to the MC.

Overall, it felt to complicated of a story to tell with all the moving pieces that didn’t deliver on any of them sadly. the whole story felt like it was a mix between Queen of Thieves and Astoria Fates Kiss, without the charms of either the story or the characters, replacing Greek Mythology with time travel. I will also say, it the plot made me kind of uncomfortable with how a bunch of mostly white young adults have decided to be judge and jury throughout time with the first antagonist being a powerful black lesbian in london 200 years ago, and we only have their word that something is afoot. I know that she actually was doing bad stuff, but the Circle is just a vigilante group with no actual authority and using time travel as their own means of policing people and if it wasn’t a simplistic romance story disguised as a scifi fantasy story, I feel like more nuance would have saved it.

The good parts: Alanna’s route for Immortal Hearts Society wasn’t all bad, I I will admit I am probably overly harsh since I just finished it. I actually really enjoyed the both the Female and Male MC character designs, they both were surprisingly interesting compared to a lot of MC’s. I really did enjoy the MC for the most part and I liked her relationship with her brother, most of the time I’ve seen sibling relationships in Lovestruck they’re fine but don’t tend to have much actual conflict, just superficial. But I like that the MC loves her brother, but burned her bridges with him to keep him safe, she regrets what she had to do but not what happened which is a pretty interesting take. Alanna was enjoyable as a love interest in the beginning, but as the story got more and more convoluted, it felt like she didn’t have much actual character. I do have a soft spot for the Circle characters, except for the two current love interests, I’m more annoyed that we didn’t get to see and interact with them more, especially since it looks like they’ll be future love interests if the pattern holds. It was a fine story and I know I’m being overly harsh, but it just felt underdone instead of bad, which tends to make it worse in my mind because the lost potential is frustrating.

I wouldn’t mind continuing if the writing got tighter next season, I’ll still give it a try. I would very much like an Arabella route before anyone else, she has such a gorgeous design and despite not seeing a huge amount of her character being a warm genuinely kind person stuck between a rock and a hard place for her family was an interesting take instead of making her one of the many false sweethearts in Queen of Thieves that stab you in the back. I also think that if she still is around in modern day she would have fit the story as a love interest better than Alanna.

Not sure if anyone is going to bother to read this but it feels good to get it out. Maybe you think I’m full of shit and I’m fine with that, maybe you love Alanna and she’s your favorite love interest. I’m sorry you read this because I don’t want anyone to feel bad, this is simply how I feel after reading the first chapter

#immortal heart society #ihm #lovestruck #alanna mckenna #immortal hearts society spoilers #alanna mckenna route #alanna mckenna route spoilers #ihm spoilers

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dwellordream · 3 years

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A Six of Crows Review: Kaz V through Kaz VI

Previously

On the positive side of things, the reveal of Kaz’s backstory and how he and his brother were conned of their life’s savings and left to starve on the streets is well done. I have to give credit where credit is due in Kaz V. Bardugo very effectively shows the differences between the innocent and playful little boy Kaz was and the cruel and spiteful young man he’s become with the recounting.

On the negative side of things, the efforts by the author to get the reader invested in a burgeoning relationship between Kaz and Inej falls totally flat. Not just because Kaz is a dick who can’t work out that he should probably thank Inej for saving all their lives, but because the narrative keeps insisting to us that there is chemistry and mutual romantic feelings between the two of them, but never really bothers to show it.

Kaz is mean to girls he likes. Inej thinks he’s attractive. It doesn’t go much deeper than that. It feels like Bardugo is far more committed to the relationship than even her audience would be, and we’re nearly at the halfway point of the novel.

I still don’t see why I should want the two of them to be together. I mean, Jesus, there’s more depth between Nina and Matthias, and Matthias’ entire character and backstory is rife with fucking Nazi imagery!

Matthias II does a decent job at continuing to develop his character and his relationship with Nina, though at times it does veer into ‘walking camera’ territory before the flashback to the shipwreck begins.

I find it a little unrealistic how easily Nina falls into a pretty friendly manner with Matthias after they wash up on land, even if she doesn’t think he’s much of a threat to her with them both exhausted and sick from hours swimming for shore.

Cracking jokes with the man who captured her to take her to her death seems a little weird, and it doesn’t seem like this is supposed to be taken as shock induced hysterics. I would think she’d have harsher words for him than ‘big idiot’ and ‘prude’.

And if I never have to read Matthias ‘indecently round’ comment again, I’ll die happy. Is Bardugo aware she can just call a character fat? Heavyset? Chunky? It’s not a dirty word.

Bardugo does try to confront this disparity - the obvious passion between Matthias and Nina, in contrast to the fact that he has been raised to hate all grisha and to an extent still does - with the scene of the pyres. Nina does get in some good lines - “Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?”, while Matthias defends his prejudice by pointing out that Ravkan grisha soldiers destroyed his home and slaughtered his family.

This is where the real world connections fall flat on their face. Bardugo puts in some pretty obvious connections to actual historical atrocities, such as the witch trials that occurred across Europe during the Renaissance, and the Fjerdan’s whole national image pretty clearly taking some cues from Nazi Germany.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, men fight to protect the fatherland, women stay home and have more pure Fjerdan children, grisha are demons on this earth and lower than dogs who must be exterminated for the greater good… If the latter is unintentional, damn, it is one hell of a coincidence.

But the point is, while real world minorities are guilty of nothing but existing, fictional minorities such as the grisha are depicted as dangerous and capable of wide scale destruction. Real world racism, antisemitism, and other forms of intolerance isn’t based off anything except prejudice, paranoia, and convenient scapegoating.

Yet in Bardugo’s world, there is real basis, and that’s where it gets thorny, and where this novel really, really could have used some sensitivity readers.

And while Matthias II does get at some actual thought provoking conflict between Matthias and Nina, it’s almost all undone in Nina II, which has Nina seemingly forget most of the massive fight she just had with him, and start thinking about how she wants to kiss him again. This, after she just saw the horrific evidence of what Fjerdans do to grisha.

I understand what Bardugo is trying to do, cutting between their current conflict and their reluctant bonding in the past, but there’s just not enough substance to it. I don’t buy that Nina would so easily come to trust, even love, someone dedicated to killing her kind. I don’t buy that Matthias would so easily fall for her.

And I especially don’t like the false equivalence that the narrative tries to bring about by suggesting that Nina is ‘just as guilty’ as Matthias for turning on him when they made it back to civilization. Matthias somehow can’t connect how what he hates her for; falsely accusing him, having him imprisoned, chained up in the belly of a ship, is exactly what he’d just done to her.

Why should Nina have trusted him, just because he became infatuated with her? He hardly changed his mind about all grisha, he just became attracted to one. Matthias does deserve punishment for his behavior. Is rotting in prison for the rest of his life the solution? No, but neither is getting to walk away scot free.

Nina reveals that she in fact accused Matthias of slaving to spare him the worse fate of being captured and brought back to Ravka to be tortured and executed as a druskelle.

Honestly, I don’t think this reveal was necessary at all. I could excuse and even welcome some spite from Nina towards him. Instead this just paints her as this all-compassionate, pure-hearted angel willing to repeatedly sacrifice herself for the sake of both friends and enemies. I like Nina, but I’d like her better with more bite to her.

Inej V unfortunately takes us right back into walking camera territory for her. This could be any character narrating this chapter, and it does little to nothing to develop her.

The travel descriptions are also not terribly interesting and I don’t think the pacing is handled all that well; the book started fast, got even faster and choppier as the Crows came together, and is now grinding into a dull slog ever since they landed in Fjerda, which is a much more thinly sketched setting than Ketterdam.

I think it might have made better use of the book to work it out so all the events took place within the confines of the city, to add to the themes of how Ketterdam can make or break any one of them, but too late now.

It’s even more insulting when contrasted with Kaz VI, which continues to detail Kaz’s backstory, which is where Bardugo is at her strongest. It just emphasizes that this book would have worked better with few characters, tighter characterization, and a plot confined to Ketterdam and its mundane capitalist horrors. It’s too thinly stretched between multiple POV characters, half of whom are barely developed, the other half of whom are frustratingly botched in their development.

I know jack shit about Jesper and Wylan, and it’s aggravating. I still know very little about Inej. Kaz, Nina, and Matthias get the most attention, and Kaz still isn’t very believable or compelling in the present, just the past, whereas Nina and Matthias’ intertwined story is an awkwardly arrayed mess of conflicting ideals and poor characterization decisions.

I only have about a hundred pages left of this book, and right now it’s hovering at like a C- rating. Not badly written enough to be offensive or infuriating, but still firmly stuck in some mediocre traction that, with more stringent editing, could have been resolved.

There are some good plot ideas and good character concepts here, but they’re lost in the mire. I’m barely even invested in the actual heist plot, which just doesn’t feel as urgent as it should, and the characters are not compelling enough to make up for it

#six of crows #in review #kaz brekker #nina zenik #matthias helvar #ya lit

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breaddaerb · 3 years

Note

Long time no see bread. It is I, again, the one who is always watching and hungry : SOVIPER ANON

*EVIL LAUGH*

Can I have, maybe, just asking, only if you want to, some arguing with a cute end? Maybe my couple being really passive-agressive but loving each other in the end...

And if you keep writing this amazing stuff, I'LL BE BACK

*EVIL LAUGH* *SMOKE* *SOVIPER ANON OUT*

[ sova x viper IV ]

✎↷: AHHH ITS TEAM ROCKET

well you know if you put it this way, i can’t really say no! let me just say, soviper anon, when i got the request about if i had any soviper content, i snorted to myself and thought of you. yeah! you’re that special, friend! anwyays, enjoy the ship content! didn’t reread this one over tooo much since i had it packed away for a few days now :D

As Viper watches Sova’s blonde hair whip down the hallway in a flurry of stomps and muttered curses, she knows she’s done something wrong.

Well— it wasn’t wrong in her eyes. All she had done was suggest that his owl could be improved by lacing his tracking dart with poison. It was more lethal, wasn’t it? If he could subdue someone while they worked, they’d get stacks of progress done instead of needing to beat around the bush.

Somehow, her partner has gotten offended by it. She already knows that his inventions are held dear to him, given his own cybernetic eye, but what’s the harm in an idea for improvement? He told her it ‘wasn’t that simple’ and ‘not everything needed to be a nuclear weapon’, and Viper brushed him off. It’s dumb and petty to her, so she doesn’t see the need to stop the Russian when he runs away. It’s not her fault that he’s upset.

The guilt welcomes itself into her mind when Sova doesn’t show up to dinner that night. She’s brooded on her own for nearly the whole day, taut and put at her wit’s end as she reevaluated their conversation over and over again. Viper was now stationed in the living room with Reyna, her plate of food pulled into her lap. There wasn’t much chatter between them beside the idle remark, but Viper couldn’t ignore the deep stare that the Mexican was giving the American, as if she was being observed. It frustrated her.

When it eventually got to be too annoying for Viper, her head snapped up, eyes venomous. “What are you looking at?” She gruffed, tone harsh ended and sharp.

Reyna didn’t even flinch. “Someone is upset today. What’s the matter, serpentine?”

Viper placed her dinner down, stomach twisted into sour knots. She did not need the woman pressing on her, especially when Sova was still MIA.

“What could you possibly get out of hearing it? Some reassurance that at least one of us has a life?”

Chuckling, the purple haired woman disbelievingly shook her head and ran a clawed hand through her mane. Reyna was always painfully— and obnoxiously— smug about the amusement she got out of seeing Viper’s frustrations.

However, it doesn’t take much for Reyna to continue, thoroughly entertained by Viper’s ruffled feathers. “Ay, nono, hermanita. Nothing like that,” she grinned, leaning forward with a hand beneath her chin. “The owl is not here today, is he?”

The tense of Viper’s hands answer the question for her.

Her gaze sharpens, and Reyna resembles a predator ready to prey. “Trouble in paradise, I see.”

This is more than what Viper will ever come to handle, but she’d be damned if she admitted that Sova’s peaceful ways have begun to rub off on her.

(He would be delighted to hear that. It’s not everyday where you turn a war criminal into a slightly safer, more peaceful murderer.)

“It’s none of your business,” she grumbled instead, stubbornly chewing on a forkful of lettuce. Reyna is pleased with this reaction, if her tittering beside the woman is any indication.

“I should express empathy for the others in our little group, don’t I? This includes the boy of yours.” Slipping from her seat, Reyna rises to refill her glass of water. She knows Viper is listening to her because of the vehement stare that bores itself into the back of her head, lasering through the flesh.

When Reyna turns around to face Viper again, the American is already rising out of her seat and making a beeline for the exit of the living room. It’s laughable at how on edge this woman is at a pointlessly minuscule conversation, but she’s trying her best and her ‘stabilizer’ isn’t there, so someone help her.

“You are yet to talk to him, no? I have heard that apologies are useful in situations like these— unless you plan on lurking around like a measly rat.”

Viper doesn’t take these words well, scowling at the doorway with her face pulling into a frown. “You don’t know him like I do. I would suggest that you’d stay out of it, vampire.”

Reyna sleazed over the countertop, a smug expression on her face. “Oh, but I do? Sabine, you must learn with the softer ones. Sage may play hard to get with me, but it does not mean she avoids me. You on the other hand..”

At this point, she’s heard enough and she flees the living room for a quieter, emptier space. On a normal day, it’s not difficult to block out Reyna’s charms and her games. They both know this. And yet she finds herself bothered, flames of guilt licking up the insides of her stomach as she comes to stop in front of the very doors that she’s been dreading the most.

She needs to start somewhere. Somewhere is... here.

Her knuckles rap against the door, and the scientist paced up and down the hallway while she waits like the maniac she is. In fact, she’s so caught up in it that she doesn’t realize when the door opens with her lover’s head peeking out of it.

Sova doesn’t look too tired, in her observation. His skin retains brightness, and his hair is still fluffy and thick. He looks fine, in all regards, but she knows he’s not. It never is.

“Hi,” she musters after a moment of silence. Sova gets this look of conflict, and before she’s able to say any more, he sighs and opens the door wider, granting her entree.

Sova’s room is something she’s well acquainted with by this point, but she doesn’t have the courage to sit down and make herself at home like the other times. Viper stands numbly in the middle of the room, observing Sova go about his life.

Abruptly, he clears his throat, which may have scared her out of her skin if she wasn’t caught up in the storm that was her mind. Right, she was here for a reason.

“I am... sorry.” Viper admits slowly, arms closing in over her chest. “I didn't mean to upset you, owl. I am unsure of where I messed up, but I hope you know that I take full accountability for it. Whatever it may be.”

Her head dips sincerely, and while it feels wrong to speak in such a vulnerable way, Sova looks ecstatic. His eyes widen like he hadn’t expected that and seriously, who would when it comes to the untouchable Viper? She was called that for a reason.

The Russian engulfs the smaller American woman, and Viper’s clearly put off if not surprised by the physical contact. An apology doesn’t typically incite or encourage affection, according to her observations. Normally, emotions boil and spark at the very sight of one, but Sova defies her standards by the simple way his fingers tenderly held onto the sides of her hips. How expected of him.

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” he mumbles, but Viper gives him a pointed look and the man concedes. Sova looks softer than ever like this, and what it does to these.. stirring emotions in her chest, she isn’t fully sure.

Viper’s thumb presses along Sova’s collarbone. “Then what was it, Sova?”

He goes quiet, either savoring the embrace or thinking about what he was going to say next. It happened to be both.

“I don’t want a mean bird.”

She blinks. Once, then twice.

“..what?”

Sova shies away, his face pinker when he speaks up. “The owl. It means a lot to me. I wouldn’t.. want to see it be used to torment people so much. It’s meant to be cute.”

The last part goes mumbled, and because she’s so close to him, she can make out each and every word. She shouldn’t be rendered speechless by something so.. pathetically and adorably childish, but that’s exactly what ends up happening.

“You’re telling me that you got mad,” she makes a gesture with her hands, tone raising. “just because it’s cute? Really?”

He frowned deeply, like he had a plenty reasonable excuse. “Is that so wrong?”

Viper wants to bite at him and pull her hair out. This built up stress, tension, the boiling, all of it for this little reason. She’s close to blowing her top off when she distinctly remembers that this, although minimal to her, was why she fell for Sova in the first place. How dare her heart betray her in the name of science and humanity? She was disgusted...

...and more cuddly than usual, with her head burrowing itself into the crook of his neck. Sova is still pouty, though he indulges her with a light pat to her back and a chuckle. Viper can’t believe she was tortured the whole day just for this.

“You felt tortured?”

Shit. She didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“..no. It was an exaggeration, owl, think nothing of it.”

A wide smile stretches across his face, giddy and warm and everything that Viper needs to relax. He leans in, placing a kiss against the crease of her hair.

“It’s okay, Sabine! I felt the same way. It’s hard to go about without seeing you by my side.”

“Oh, be quiet.”

#valorant #valorant scenarios #soviper #valorant Sova #valorant viper #sova #viper #flm #this took two days #valorant reyna #Reyna #little bitch Reyna

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hellsingimpuresouls · 3 years

Note

1, 2, 7, 25 (Gonzo Hellsing)!

responding to this late, so sorry about that! hopefully i’m answering the questions from the correct meme orz. onward to the salt! ( i’m an idiot because only after i answered everything did i realize you put ‘for Gonzo’, so these answers are a mix )

1. What OTP(s) in the fandom do you just not get?

Seras/Integra.

the most famous interaction that people go nuts over is the finger-sucking scene : it’s gross, rapey and just… uncomfortable how generally this is justified in so many ways. from ‘well, it didn’t ACTUALLY happen like that, that was just through the male gaze’ to ‘it’s just fan-service, Integra wouldn’t actually force herself on Seras’ to ‘uwu lesbian / sapphic rep.’ i just don’t vibe, canonically or fandom wise - there’s a very clear power dynamic in that rendition of Integra, and generally as a whole ( not that i’m infantilizing Seras by the way ), and people really like to use the finger-sucking scene as a sort of… foundation or undeniable evidence that they are very into each other, when if that same scene was done with Walter or god-forbid, Alucard, there would be riots left and right ( clarification : Alucard TO Seras, not Integra to Alucard ). it just really hit too because irl, women go through shit like this in the workplace, being sexually assaulted / harassed by their bosses. Integra being a woman doesn’t make it less rapey.

it’s also hard to ignore the fact that Seras was ‘taken in’ without anyone asking her what she wanted ( unlike Gonzo ) on her end - idc what people say, they literally abducted her ( that creepy smile Integra gives her in the first episode when Seras is being given her uniform, or that even creepier smile when she’s sexually assaulting her : miss me with that shit ). MAYBE i’d be into it a bit more if the finger-sucking scene never happened? who knows.

i can say i enjoy shipping them in any other way but the fandom / general way. the manga-canon had a funny thing going between them ( even the finger sucking scene hit a little different? still not okay obviously but more… idk ig lighthearted and almost troll-like, ‘here suck it. do it. doooo iiiit.’ i could appreciate that. )

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

i know Millennium pairings aren’t popular, at least in current tumblr spaces, but Dok/Major. it was apparently a popular ship back in the day, and i still occasionally see stuff for it. i genuinely don’t get it, because i saw no kind of connection between those two that was even slightly romantic. Dok legit went ‘aight, i’m out’ when the zeppelin was shot to bits - he gave no fucks about Major lmao.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

mm... maybe the dynamic between Integra/Alucard? idk, when i first watched Ultimate, no tumblr or fandom involved, i thought it was very complicated. there was definitely trust, suggestiveness, excitement, guardian-like qualities, and the list just goes on! but then i made the mistake of exposing myself to fandom spaces a bit much, and them being spoken about in a strictly romantic sense kind of annoys me now. same thing if people insist that there ISN’T romance. i’m on a high horse, but i genuinely don’t think i’ve seen many people truly understand / capture the Integra/Alucard dynamic. i roll my eyes when i see either extreme sides ( romance v. no romance ).

not that i was the biggest shipper or anything - i gave very little care for Alucard and Integra respectively, but now i just care for them even less. i literally just say ‘idk and idc’ when people ask me if i ship it.

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

impure souls : would they have continued season 2 as planned, just continue to the canon. Integra would run the organization under the watch of the Crown, but everything else would run mostly the same. there would be interesting plot points when Integra and the Queen conflict on what to do with certain missions, and the pressure gets put on even more when they realize there’s literal Nazis behind everything. at some point, reveal that the traitor was the same guy we see in Ultimate, ergo Incognito and the whole FREAK mess was just more Millennium fuss. introduce Pip and Heinkel later on too ( as they were planned to also make an appearance in the anime as well ). i definitely wouldn’t have minded Gonzo’s take on canon, and it’d be easy to pick up from where they left off.

ultimate : everything was fine / dandy, i wouldn’t change anything except for the last minutes. this is the old, nostalgic, Walter-fangirl i once was, but since Alucard is almost close to a god ( or something ) at this point, have him lift up his cape at Integra, only to reveal that he somehow managed to take in Walter as a familiar ( unwillingly, of course ), not only that, but he’s forever stuck in his adolescent form. sort of to have the ‘gang’ back together, or something. Walter was a son of a bitch who deserved no good, but this would be a funny way to condemn him.

as far as canon goes, i am please with how things ended. it was pretty alright.

SALTY ASK LIST

#* my love turned around and i fell : asks #crystallinee-waters #hellsing

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haziel-luz · 3 years

Text

Will It Be the Same?

Chapter 4: Sentiment

Hello my lovelies~ It's been a while and I missed this place. I hope you enjoy.

Nothing could be better than having someone that can make you happy. It’s one of the things that you think about the most when you're with Ella. Her positive attitude always makes your day. Even her generosity even makes you feel guilty for no damn reason. Which is exactly why you can’t have her missing a day from work because of you.

“Els, it’s fine really. I can take this moment to be more familiar with the city, you shouldn’t have to worry about me.” You smiled reassuringly. Emphasis on the word try .

“What, and miss a day where I can have you all to myself? No way! Oh, that reminds me, we should go shopping for some clothes to go clubbing tonight. I got a good feeling about this.” Ella’s eyes only showed excitement, that made you give up. You noticed the way she tried to gently brush your guilt away by talking about the things she wants to do. Clever.

“Alright, since your mind is made up then let’s go shopping.” You giggled, picking up your purse. Ella wasted no time in getting her keys and wallet.

This should be nice.

__________________

A lunch break is a person’s precious time. No rush, no stress, no drama. Just you and food. All humans know this, but this morality doesn’t really apply for celestial beings. This truly annoys a certain therapist, especially now while she’s listening to the devil himself.

“I tell you doctor, this really is becoming a bigger issue than I realize. The detective and I have slowly lost our mojo. A bloody mess I tell you, she’s become more moody, and not in a good way.” Lucifer huffs while straightening his suit. All Linda could do was breathe in and out calmly. She doesn’t want to lose her shit.

Linda left her desk to sit in her usual chair, composed but keeping the glare. “Lucifer. You do know that this is my lunch time, right? What did we talk about.”

“My apologies doctor, but this is really important. This would only take a moment, I can pay extra.” Lucifer took out a stash of money and placed it on the table. Linda sighed in defeat and gestured for him to continue.

“Fine. This better be the last time Lucifer. I’m serious.” Linda sternly says, taking the money.

“Of course, now what should I do about the detective?” Lucifer nods and leans a little forward, ready for the answer.

“Listen, I can’t just solve your problems. I can only make you see different perspectives that can lead you to the path of realization. Instead of what you should do, think about what you did. What did you do to make her this way? In her perspective.” She explained slowly to make sure he understood.

“Well, I’m not really sure. I haven’t been with other women like I used to, I’ve been more open about us. Although...there was an unexpected conflict after our intimate activities.” Lucifer was deep in thought and Linda took notice of his expression.

“Mind elaborating?” She raised an eyebrow a bit.

“The detective suddenly came one night in ravishing clothing, a wonderful surprise. Little did I know, she only wanted a ‘do over’. Something about having emotional intimacy besides all the fun.” He frowned slightly, turning to Linda for guidance.

“Lucifer, do you even love Chloe?” This came clear for the therapist. She might as well just be there for him as a friend for now. His expression and body language is more different than usual, which concerns her.

“I...I thought I knew..but I guess I still don’t know.” Lucifer sighed and leaned back on the furniture. He closed his eyes for a second and instantly saw your teared face, which made him tense and open his eyes. He takes out his flask and takes a good swig. Why are you burned in his mind? He has a significant other to focus on.

“Is there anything else that’s bothering you?” Linda hid her amusement when she saw him tense with his eyes closed. Something was going on, something so different.

“(Y/n)...” He quietly says while looking at the flask. Linda almost couldn’t catch what he said, this is really out of character for him.

“(Y/n)? You mean the new client you wanted me to take in for a session? What about her?” Linda was now intrigued by the new topic. She can’t help but study him like how any therapist would. This is the devil after all, who wouldn’t want to understand his emotions.

“I made an assumption that she was working for my father and confronted her about the matter. It didn’t end well.” Lucifer lightly scoffed, more to himself.

“What happened Lucifer?” Linda pressed a little bit, to see where this could go.

“I hurt her...You see, she’s not like any normal human or celestial being that my father created. She’s different...which should be impossible, hence the assumption. From what I’ve seen, she’s already been through hell without even going there personally.” Lucifer frowned and stared at his reflection on the silver flask.

Linda just stays silent for a moment, watching Lucifer’s behavior. She didn’t want to point anything out to Lucifer, but he seems more guilty with (Y/n) than with Chloe. Which says a lot.

“What gets under my damn skin is how different I feel whenever it involves her.” Lucifer scoffs and takes another swig from his flask.

“How different?” Linda frowns a bit.

“Whether her presence is shown or not, it’s hard to bloody focus. My best solution at the moment is finding out what she is. No human or celestial has ever been as bothersome as her, not even the Detective.” Lucifer puts away his flask with a sigh.

The therapist raises her eyebrows at his suggestion. Was the devil really this dense? God knows how many therapists are needed in this world.

“Maybe, just maybe, she’s not the problem. There might be something about her that you're drawn to. Just like Chloe, her presence makes you physically human, vulnerable from immortality.” Linda tries to explain and give a hint, hoping to lead something that can be possible yet not so far fetched.

“What does that have to do with this?” Lucifer frowns at Linda’s obvious recap. He can admit to himself that there’s something about you that he’s drawn to. Why was she comparing you with Chloe?

“Lucifer just look at yourself, the emotions you feel at the moment. You look tired, guilty, and mostly concerned. Don’t you feel these emotions whenever you're around (Y/n), or when you even think about her?” Linda puts her hand on her chest, emphasizing the emotional turmoil he’s having. “Now I’m only giving a theory here, but maybe (Y/n) makes you emotionally human, possibly making you vulnerable to your own desires, fears, or any other type of emotion that doesn’t make you the devil.” Linda finishes her theoretical reason for his behavior.

Lucifer stays silent for a second and then starts to chuckle. “Emotionally human?” Then his chuckles turn into laughter. “Oh, Dr. Linda, I didn’t peg you as a comedian. You would very much be a success.” Linda gives a deadpan face and crosses her arms. The devil slowly stops his laughter when the therapist didn’t find it amusing.

“You're serious...What, besides the one human that can take away my immortality I have another one that can take away my devilish spirit?” Lucifer’s pissed, now he has to deal with two complex beings. Both jeopardize his main essential of being the devil.

“I know this isn’t ideal for you Lucifer but this shouldn’t be a bad thing. Perhaps (Y/n)’s presence can give you more perspective of being more than just the devil.” Linda tries to calm him down. Linda can only think of how well this could be for Lucifer.

With your presence, there might be a chance that Lucifer can be more than just an angel or the devil. He could break the chains of labels that his own father has made of him throughout the millennia.

“I don’t want to be more than just the devil because that is who I am. The Devil!” Lucifer abruptly stands up from the furniture angrily and goes for the door. “Why pretend to be anything else than a fallen angel? That’s just ridiculous.” Lucifer leaves while slamming the door shut, making the therapist jump a bit.

“...He’s gonna be okay.” Linda persuades herself and goes back to her lunch. Before even taking a bite of her food she tilts her head to the side in a second thought. “Right?”

_______________

You look around the room, cautious of every drunk person walking by. Ella brought you to Lux, one of the best bars in LA, or so she describes. You’ve seen crazier house parties, but this one seemed more classy with a modern bar.

You just enjoyed the music and dancing with your enthusiastic friend. Never a boring moment with Ella Lopez.

“I’m gonna go get us some drinks, mind finding a table?” Ella tries to speak louder than the speaker themselves, you laughed at her attempt.

‘Els, you know we can just mentally communicate, right.’ You grinned and she rolled her eyes and waved you off while leaving to get drinks. Your heels are hurting like hell anyways. You try to find an available table until you bumped into someone.

“Sorry-” You looked up to meet eye to eye with Lucifer himself, your blood ran cold instantly. Without a second to waste, you quickly moved to the side and tried to leave his sight. Lucifer reached out to your arm and held it with a gentle grip.

“Hold on, I know I’ve done some..dreadful actions towards you but mind if I explain myself?” Lucifer raised his other hand up, showing you that he doesn’t mean harm.

“I don’t have time for people with poor excuses.” You scoffed, tugging your arm back from him. You can somehow see a flash of guilt within his confident self. You left him in the dust and took a moment to walk out the club, texting Ella that you’ll be out for some fresh air and come back.

“Alright I deserve that.” Lucifer mutters to himself and goes to the bar.

“Luci!~” Ella hugs him out of nowhere, surprising the devil.

“Well I’m glad someone appreciates my presence.” Lucifer gently shifts away from the hug. Ella looks at him confused but quickly fades. She frowns and points at him accusingly.

“You made my best friend cry, what the hell was that about?” Ella may be drunk but she’s always serious when it comes to those she loves. “You better apologize mister.” Lucifer puts her finger down.

“Trust me miss Lopez, I’ve tried but she’s one stubborn woman, I wouldn’t blame here.” Lucifer sighs and asks for a drink from the bartender.

“She’ll accept if you're genuine about it, just give her time, she’s not one to hold a grudge.” Ella smiled and felt her phone vibrate. She giggles when she sees that you’ve decided to get some fresh air. “Well not a long grudge, but you’ll get there.”

Lucifer rolls his eyes at her last comment, “Yippee.” He drinks his liquor and scoffs at himself. Here he is again feeling guilty and worried about you, when he should be worried about Chloe.

///////////////////////////////

I am truly sorry, honestly I forgot about about writing for a while, a lot has happened and I hope everyone's safe and alright.

Now that I'm back I hope that I can bring my creativity back, it's been a while and I hope I didn't make any of you upset. I know how it feels to wait for another chapter you guys grew to love or enjoy.

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter ?

#Lucifer Morningstar #lucifer fanfiction #lucifer x reader #lucifer x y/n #lucifer x you #Linda Martin #Ella Lopez

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coll2mitts · 3 years

Text

#77 Grease (1978)

Slick your hair back and grab your team jacket, we’re hand-jiving our way through Grease, a movie about bunch of hot, self-motivated ladies with their whole futures ahead of them settling for a bunch of schmucks.

Grease is a strange experience to relive as an adult, because it was (as I suspect with a lot of people) ever-present in my childhood, and I didn’t understand the great majority of references then. This movie was intended as an 8th birthday present from my mother; I came home from school one day and the VHS was sitting on our kitchen countertop unwrapped. I didn’t recognize it, so when I asked my mom what it was, she feigned confusion for about 10 seconds before she gave up and said, “I bought it for your birthday, I guess you get it early now.” She promised me I’d like it when I popped it into the VHS player, and she wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t watched this movie in over a decade and I still could recite the majority of the dialogue.

While this movie is a toned down significantly from the stage show, it is still fairly raunchy in parts. What is kind of hilarious to me is Grease’s gradual shift in categorization over time as a “kids musical”. In 5th grade, my sister played Sandy in her elementary school’s production of it. I asked if she remembered any of the lines they changed to keep things “appropriate” (the Kidz Bopification, if you will) and she responded, “No, I just thought it was weird I had to go out and buy a sexy outfit.” Conversely, my 5th grade play was about the history of America and I dressed up like Martha Washington. I’ll never forget the 50 Nifty United States from 13 original colonies... SHOUT ‘em, SCOUT ‘em, TELL all about 'em, ONE BY ONE till we’ve given a day to every state in the U-S-A. AL-A-bama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, CON-NE-TI-CUT...

Anyway, do I think it’s weird that a movie about a bunch of horny teenagers has become Baby’s First Adult Musical? Sorta. Not really. I mean, the dudes act like children for the majority of this, so I’m not surprised, at least. It had, for sure, turned me off from wanting to date high school dudes when I was in high school. The high school girls, however... we’ll get there.

It’s the first day of school, and the oldest high school seniors I’ve ever seen are poised to take on their last year at Rydell High. The “T” Birds and their very uncool matching jackets are reunited after a summer apart and their super-senior leader Kenickie, played by the late Jeff Conaway, regales the tale of lugging boxes to earn money for a sweet ride, which you could feasibly do back in the 1950s. Danny, played by John Travolta, spent his summer getting action at the beach, which he eloquently describes as “flippin’”.

Frenchy and her new neighbor Sandy rendezvous with the Pink Ladies, who have very cool matching jackets and the unabashed confidence to go with them. Stockard Channing, who plays Rizzo, is turned off by Sandy’s pure, seemingly holier-than-thou persona, and is dismayed when Sandy starts to describe her sickly sweet summer romance. Her interest is only piqued when Sandy mentions her hunky date was notorious playboy and Rizzo’s ex, Danny Zuko.

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Sidenote: When I was a child, I thought Sonny asked if her “jugs were bigger than her nets”. I asked my mother what “nets” were, since I surmised that jugs meant breasts, and she didn’t know, which I thought was weird. It wasn’t until THIS MOMENT that I realized he was asking if her jugs were bigger than Annette’s. Who the fuck is Annette? Like the Mickey Mouseketeer Annette?! Rizzo sings about her later and I’m just like.. this revelation has lead to more questions than answers.

Rizzo hatches a plan to call Danny out on his shit and reunite Sandy with Danny at the school pep rally, as they know her boyfriend is an asshat. He predictably reacts maturely; Not wanting to admit his previous story of getting fresh with some cute Australian girl down in the sand was somewhat hyperbolic, he plays it off like he doesn’t give a shit about her, reducing Sandy to tears. Frenchy comforts Sandy like the supportive queen that she is and invites her to join the Pink Ladies at a sleepover.

Honestly, a Pink Ladies sleepover looks lit as fuck. As a kid (and now, tbh) I was Jan, I wanted to be Marty, I wanted to fuck Rizzo, and I wanted Frenchy as my best friend. I would totally be down to drink champagne, eat Twinkies and mutilate our body parts with needles. Sandy is a bit of a late bloomer and reacts to these series of events by puking. Rizzo decides to be a bit of a slag and make fun of Sandy for being an inexperienced virgin before shimming down a drainpipe to get laid by some jerk with a shitty car and a 6-year-old condom.

Sandy, whose night has done nothing to alleviate her heartbreak, sings a song about being in love with a coward. Part of the deal Oliva Newton-John signed to be cast in this movie specified she have her own solo number, so “Hopelessly Devoted” was written and filmed after the rest of the movie had been completed. This feel pretty obvious, since it gives off a very strong 1970s pop Best Original Song vibe. When I was a kid, I used this song as a break to use the bathroom or grab a snack, but as an adult I find myself humming it every so often.

Speaking of contract-obligated solos, we’re treated to a Travolta-led “Greased Lightning”, which I always thought was weird, cause like, who is going to sing a song about their friend getting tit in their sweet car? Jeff Conaway played Danny on Broadway, he deserved better... Also, I’m CONVINCED this song got the Pop-Up Video treatment, but couldn’t find it online anywhere. Otherwise, how the hell else would the fact that they thought John Travolta putting the saran wrap on his crotch was too racy live rent free in my head for like 20 years?

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After encountering Sandy on a date with a jock, Danny decides he’s going to join a sports team to prove to her he can be a motivated team player. Instead, he just physically assaults several members of his school, but it’s fine because he’s wearing a uniform when he does it. This is enough to impress Sandy, as she accepts Danny’s invitation to the school dance.

The other gang members are going through their own drama, as Rizzo is sick of giving it up to Kenickie without receiving a modicum of respect.

“A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card. When you care enough to send the very best.”

Danny regresses and continues to act like a shithead to Sandy in front of her friends.

“I don’t like tea.” “You don’t have to drink tea!” “Well, I don’t like parents.”

Jan and Putzie begin an innocent and adorable romance, which proves it’s possible to start off a relationship with mutual respect, even if your friends make fun of you for it.

“I also think there’s more to you than just fat.” “...Thanks.”

I love this scene, there’s so many good lines.

Frenchy, who had dropped out of Rydell to pursue a career in cosmetology, is also in crisis as her stint in beauty school went very poorly. After hours, she somehow hallucinates Frankie Avalon advising her to get her high school degree.

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As a child, I was so proud of myself when I realized all these women played other roles in the movie, as if facial recognition was an important skill.

The day of the big dance finally arrives, as National Bandstand comes to Rydell High with roofie-wielding predator and television host Vince Fontaine. Rizzo arrives with the leader of the rival gang, while Kenickie has his best girl, Cha Cha, as his date, because they are both very well-adjusted teenagers that know how to work through conflict by communicating and not using desperate attempts to make each other jealous. Danny and Sandy are cutting up a rug until Sonny attempts to physically assault Sandy, and Danny just lets it happen because another one of his exes, Cha Cha, starts to dance with him while Sandy is rebuffing Sonny’s advances. Cha Cha and Danny subsequently win the contest. Honestly, this is so fucked up, I would have dropped Danny after this lapse of good judgement.

But no, Sandy still allows him to take her on a date to the drive-in, and it’s not until he elbows her in the boob and then tries to cop a feel in front of everybody that she finally blows him off. Then he has the absolute gall to act emo about it because he’s afraid people will think he’s a loser. Jesus Christ.

Kenickie is also hurting, as he discovers that Rizzo is pregnant and she doesn’t want anything to do with him, regardless of what being an unwed mother will do to her reputation. He decides to process these emotions by racing Greased Lighting for pink slips, as he likes to live his life a quarter mile at a time. Unfortunately, Danny steals Kenickie’s thunder (road) yet again, as he’s forced to take his place in the race because of a car door-related closed head injury. Sandy is impressed by Danny’s driving skillz and decides to sex herself up for an unreliable and emotionally manipulative teenager. Danny has a similar inclination and decides to put on a nice sweater to win Sandy back, which is something, I guess. They declare they’re the one each other needs, oh yes indeed.

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The school year ends, and all the boys end up paired with the girls. Rizzo finds out she’s not pregnant and reunites with Kenickie?! Marty ends up with Sonny even though he’s a handsy creep. Danny and Sandy are just an mess with incompatible expectations of each other. But at least Jan and Putzie and Frenchy and Doodie are fairly inoffensive. The end.

This movie is great, even all these years later. The entire cast is fantastic, even those with smaller bit parts. I was *living* for the school staff, Principal McGee and Coach Calhoun especially. Grease also jump started my lifelong love for Stockard Channing. She’s great in The West Wing, but her part as Sister Husband in Where the Heart Is may be my favorite performance of hers. I’ve watched that movie so many times I can’t even call it a guilty pleasure, I love it so much.

Olivia Newton-John wasn’t even sure she wanted to be in this movie and requested a screen test so she could see if she was good at acting. John Travolta was enamored with her and helped convince Olivia she was perfect for the part, and he wasn’t wrong. She gives such a strong performance as Sandy; I bought her transformation from clean-cut cinnamon roll to sexpot completely. John Travolta was also unbelievably charming as Danny, and I found myself giggling at his line deliveries constantly.

The songs are also unbelievably catchy (albeit somewhat annoying after you’ve heard them 700 times). Barry Gibb, my favorite Pras-adjacent composer, wrote the theme for the movie and it just bops so hard. As a well-documented detractor of Doo Wop music, there’s not a whole lot else here for me, but that’s not going to blind me to the excellence of this soundtrack. There is a reason this movie is revered as much as it is. 10/10, fun for the whole family, as long as the kids don’t understand the references.

#100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes #unwarranted opinion #grease

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a-lockman5 · 4 years

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Dirty Little Secret {Devi x Paxton}

A/N: Hooray! So after about 8.5K, I cut this one off. I like the way it ended, and it was fun to imagine a future Daxton. Thank you so much to the person that requested it! I am throwing around the idea of working on a part 2, so if I get at least 5 “upvotes” for a part 2, I will take it on.

Summary: Devi wasn’t interested in dating anymore. She wasn’t hurt or messed up from a previous relationship. She just wanted to meet a guy that made time stand still. It just didn’t happen. That is, until a man from her past walked into her office.

Warnings: Fluff, drinking/alcohol abuse, time-jump (Devi and co. are in their late 20s), forbidden love, taboo, mild burns, sexual themes - nothing explicit

Don’t forget, request/ask is open!

And check out my MASTERLIST

“Debbie, you have a new patient today,” the office manager, Barb called out, thrusting a folder into the air.

“It’s Devi,” she swiped the folder from her, “you know, like that grandson you’re always going on about.”

“Oh, sorry, dear. I keep forgetting.”

“It’s alright, Barb, thanks for grabbing this,” she turned away toward her own desk. I’ve only been working here for two and half years. Why should you have caught on by now?

Devi Vishwakumar didn’t know what she wanted for the future when she graduated nearly nine years ago. She had spent her high school career with two things on her mind: having a love life and getting to Princeton. She’d managed both. After dating Ben Gross for the entirety of their junior year, Devi and he ended things amicably largely because being friendly rivals was much more fun and somehow resulted in less legitimate fighting. Senior year, she enjoyed the company of another classmate named Tyler Herron. He was academically minded, but still a jock in his own right. He played for the soccer and basketball teams, and Devi found she received common invites to parties that previously she thought only came from her friendship with Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Eleanor and Fabiola continued to prove they were the best friends anyone could ask for, but she also learned to love Shira and Zoey. Though they often seemed more superficial than Devi thought to care for, their aspirations were just as real as Devi’s and they had minds made for business and marketing. When time came for graduation, Devi felt more seen and cared for than she ever thought she could, and that’s what she said in her valedictorian speech. She also couldn’t help throwing a jab at Ben for beating him out, but to be fair, he insinuated letting her win in his own speech.

When she arrived at Princeton the following fall, Tyler forged his own path to MIT. Devi had no intention of bringing a boyfriend into college with her and was not at all hurt when Tyler felt the same way. She did wish she’d beat him to the punch, but at least they too split mutually and were able to be friendly on social media. Being single gave Devi the opportunity to focus on what was most important – her future.

Her mother made it very clear to her, she was to pick a college major before arriving for her first semester. Not having a plan is lazy. Are you lazy, khanna? Even when her mother was thousands of miles away, Devi could hear her loud and clear in her head. Though, she found she was right. Devi had to be prepared to make decisions for herself otherwise all the work she’d put in to get to Princeton would be for nothing. She chose Biology and pursued it relentlessly.

By the time she was graduating with her bachelor’s in biology, she’d made plenty of friends during that time who helped her choose to further pursue Physical Therapy. It was funny, she often thought, how she spent so long working to move across the country for her favorite Ivy League school to then end up back in her backyard for graduate school. The University of Southern California had one the best PT programs in the country, and Devi was proud to have studied there. Her final fieldwork was assigned at OSMC, Orthopedics and Sports Medicine Calabasas. After a thrilling experience, and impressing her Clinical Instructor at every turn, she was asked to stay on after graduation. Naturally, Devi accepted.

OSMC was not only the most exclusive orthopedic surgery and rehabilitation practice in Southern California, but it was also where she felt most at home. Outside of having a coworker who passively refused to learn the correct pronunciation of her name, she was in her element every day. Plus, she got to meet some really cool people. Professional athletes, actors, stuntmen, they all came to OSMC for physical rehabilitation. Legally, she wasn’t allowed to tell anyone else that she’d personally worked with Dylan O’Brien, Diego Boneta, and Mookie Betts. She liked to remind herself of those things regularly though. Living in the LA area also allowed Devi’s relationship to improve with her mom, who finally voiced how proud she was of Devi… when she first started working. Now, she was worried that Devi would never settle down.

Devi had begged her mother not to place her in an arranged marriage when she was still studying at Princeton. The conversation actually took place at Kamala and Prashant’s wedding ceremony. It wasn’t that she didn’t think it could work – Kamala and Prashant proved that love could flourish from being set up. Devi wanted something different though. She wanted what Nalini and Mohan had. They met when they were children, and never wanted anyone else. She wanted to meet a man and feel the electricity that could make her forget her own name (like Barb seemed to do every day). Heart softened by the reminder of how Mohan had swept her off her feet, Devi’s mother agreed. That was six years ago. More recently, Nalini reminded her daughter regularly that all of the handsome driven Indian men in her age range had already been swept up, so she was on her own. She also made it very clear that grandchildren were to be in her future.

Did her mother’s constant badgering sour Devi on dating? Maybe a little bit. Did she get guys to buy her, Eleanor, and Fabiola drinks when they out only to ditch the same guys at the first opportunity? Absolutely, but what woman hadn’t done that? It had been a long time since Devi saw a man that made time stand still, and Mehcad Brooks was treated in her therapy gym.

No, Devi was not the romance obsessed teen she once was. Honestly, it’s better this way. Now, I can focus on my career, she thought. She pulled up her schedule on her laptop and noticed she didn’t have an appointment for three hours. “Hey, Barb? What time is that eval coming in?”

“Scheduled in thirty minutes!” She called back.

“Who ya got, D?” Amir, one of the physical therapy assistants, asked. “Someone rich or someone famous?”

“Go ahead and take a look, you’ll probably be seeing them next week,” Devi replied going to grab a mug of coffee.

“Hey, another Olympian. Paxton Hall-Yoshida!”

“Devi, oh my gosh, are you okay?” Hannah’s voice sounded like it was a hundred miles away. Devi didn’t come back to reality until she felt a damp towel being pressed into her arms. “Here, there’s coffee all over your leg. I don’t want you to get burns.”

Hannah was their rehabilitation technician. She helped keep things picked up, sanitized, and would provide physical assistance if they needed another set of hands during a session. At the moment, she was saving Devi from second degree burns, and cleaning up the broken ceramics from the coffee mug she’d just dropped. Hannah was right too; Devi chose the wrong day to wear a skirt and had drenched her right leg in hot coffee.

“Hannah, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me,” Devi told her pressing the towel on her knee and calf with one hand and crouching down to help pick up the pieces of her mug with the other.

“Devi, I love you, but please don’t help. We don’t want you to cut your hand open,” she laughed. Devi was known to be a little clumsy. “I have a pair of scrubs with me if you want to wear them today.”

“You are a lifesaver, Hannah. I don’t care what Amir says about you!” she called over her shoulder, heading into the locker room to change into Hannah’s scrubs.

Okay, Devi, get your shit together. Maybe it’s not even the same guy. Except, of course it was. How many Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s were Olympic Swimmer’s for the US team? One. There was one. One Paxton Hall-Yoshida that Devi had routinely made a fool of herself in front of when she was in high school. Paxton Hall-Yoshida that gave her the best first kiss a girl could dream up. Before she started dating Ben, Paxton was all she thought about. Now, she was supposed to treat him? God, I feel like I’m fifteen again! she thought, kicking the lockers angrily. She had to get a grip. She had exactly twenty-two minutes to handle the situation.

After changing quickly into the burgundy colored scrubs, Devi found herself in her boss’s office. “Makayla, is there any way I can give my eval to one of the other therapists?”

“Why?” She tapped her acrylics on the desk impatiently. Makayla was notorious for being in all the gossip of the clientele in their practice. Devi knew she had to be careful telling her too much. If she knew Devi and Paxton went to high school together, the questions would never stop until Devi ended up with word vomit about both of their personal lives.

“Uh... I just spilled hot coffee on my leg, and I am feeling pretty tense from that still.”

“Alright, Devi, I’m going to level with you. This particular client asked for you specifically. Apparently, he knows one of your previous clients, and they were a satisfied customer. He will not be happy if he works with another therapist. Are we going to have a problem?”

Devi swallowed her argument about conflicts of interest and gave her boss a tight-lipped smile. “No problem. I’m flattered, obviously. Thanks.” She rose from her seat and began to back out of the office. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help,” she gave a small wave and didn’t notice the way her foot caught on the door frame until it was too late.

She screwed her eyes shut, waiting for impact. It’s a reflex to reach your hands out toward the ground when falling in order to protect your head, but instead it often results in one of the most common fractures. Devi knew her bottom and back could take a fall and so she resisted the urge to catch herself, but that didn’t mean she was looking forward to meeting the floor.

Except she didn’t hit the floor. “Woah!” she heard man’s voice shout before she was caught by a strong arm. “Good thing you got my good side.”

When she opened her eyes, there he was. Holding her in mid-air with one arm, Paxton Hall-Yoshida smiled down at Devi like Christmas had come early. He gingerly aided her back to a standing position, and she tried to ignore how he bit his lip and smirked at her. Man, he had not changed a bit, except that somehow, he looked stronger and more handsome than the last time she’d seen him.

“Oh, thank goodness. We didn’t need Danni getting hurt again!” Barb giggled from behind the front desk. Devi opened her mouth to correct the office manager again but didn’t manage to get the words out before Paxton.

“It’s Devi,” he told Barb. “D-e-v-i; it means goddess.”

“Oh!” Barb smiled like it was the first time she’d heard Devi’s name. “Well, thank you, young man. This goddess is your physical therapist today.”

“Lucky me,” he grinned. “Lead the way, Dr. Vishwakumar.”

It was all Devi could do to stop the heat from coloring her cheeks as she led Paxton through the therapy gym to one of the exam rooms in the back. No one interrupted them or disrupted their course. That was an expectation of working in an office with so many VIP clients. Professionalism came first, and Devi kept blasting that in her head. Be professional. Be professional.

Once they reached the exam room, she stopped at the open door and gestured for him to enter ahead of her. She tried to stop herself from checking out his backside, but the high school sophomore in her won the battle. And just like when they were in high school, this boy – nay – this man had an amazing way of filling out clothing that would otherwise be loose fitting. God, he looked good.

When she looked up, she was glad his back was still to her. For the first time, possibly in her entire life, Paxton didn’t catch her in an embarrassing moment. “So, Mr. Hall-Yoshida, why don’t you take a seat and” –

She was cut off by his soft laughter. “Come here, Devi,” he said, pulling her into a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

She found herself returning his embrace, and it actually helped her relax a little. “It’s good to see you too, Paxton,” she told him when she pulled away a moment later. “How long has it been?”

His eyes squinted over her shoulder as he thought about her question. “Ben Gross’s Christmas party 2022, right? Eight years?”

Somehow, in that moment, it felt like yesterday. “Yeah, that’s right. The one party at Ben’s that didn’t end with me in the deep end of the pool,” she grinned.

His eyes raked over her for a moment, so intense that she chose to turn away and grab his chart to distract herself. Then he laughed again. “At least sometimes it was on purpose.”

“Yes, not all of us are as graceful in the water as the Paxton H.Y.” she smiled up from his paperwork. “Alright, we could catch up for hours, but we have to get your evaluation done. Tell me what’s going on with your shoulder.”

Paxton smirked, but nodded and did not argue with moving on into the session. He explained his sudden onset of pain during a training session. Sharp pain. He noticed more during strokes or overhead activity. It was difficult to sleep on that shoulder, but otherwise, if he wasn’t using it, he didn’t have pain. Everything Paxton told her confirmed what the orthopedist had diagnosed: shoulder impingement syndrome. Just to cover her bases, Devi confirmed positive results for Neer’s and Hawkins’ tests. He demonstrated mild weakness in the affected shoulder, and pain seemed to onset just at approximately 100 degrees of flexion.

“Okay, looks like you saw Doctor… Matthews? Did he explain this to you?”

“Not really… he said I’m pinching a muscle in my rotator cuff?”

“Kind of, more like a tendon,” Devi said grabbing a model off the counter. “So, you know how this is a ‘ball and socket’ joint so to speak. Normally, you have full range of motion and the ball rotates in the socket without any pain or stiffness,” she explained demonstrating the normal range of shoulder flexion. “Right now, you have some inflammation in the space between the ball and socket, so whenever you raise your arm above shoulder level, there isn’t enough space for the joint to rotate normally. Because of that, you pinch that tendon, it hurts and causes more inflammation, and then the next time you raise your arm, you’ll pinch the tendon, it’ll hurt and cause inflammation, and so on.”

“So… every time I raise my arm… like on every stroke, I make it worse?” he asked, his forehead furrowing.

“Not really, but you’re not making it any better. Every time you raise your arm above shoulder level, you’re basically reinjuring it. Don’t worry though, we can fix it.”

“Dr. Matthews didn’t think I would need surgery.”

“Oh, god no, and I would never do surgery. A – out of my scope of practice, B – can you imagine me with a scalpel and a living, breathing person? Bad idea.”

She smiled when he started laughing. This was Devi’s favorite part of her job. She had many A list clients walk into her office, and there was always a level of fear that they wouldn’t be able to reach 100% again. Sometimes, it was true. Devi liked being able to alleviate that fear and make people as comfortable as possible though. Paxton was no different. He’s just another client, she told herself, and continued in her explanation.

“See the reason it keeps happening is because you’re not giving the inflammation a chance to go down. Between swimming, lifting, and day to day activities, your arm goes over your head a lot. First thing we have to do is, limit that.”

“So, I can’t swim?”

“Not unless you can do it with your left arm by your side,” her head tilted in sympathy. “It’s not forever though. I want you to keep your arm below 90 degrees of flexion – below shoulder level for four weeks and I want you to complete these exercises every day, two to three times per day,” she pulled her pre-assembled shoulder impingement program out of a binder. “I want you here twice a week and we’ll follow up on your progress.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “If you seem like you need more attention, then we’ll add a session weekly. Honestly, Paxton, this is a really common injury, especially for swimmers. It’s known as ‘swimmer’s shoulder.’ You’ll be back in the pool in plenty of time to qualify for 2032.”

He smiled warmly at her, and she could see his stress deflating. “Thanks, that is really good news.” He stood from his seat and advanced toward her before catching himself, “Can I hug you again?”

She grinned. “As long as you keep your arm below 90 degrees.”

She saw a spark in his eyes as he thought of a retort, but his expression changed to his easy smirk and he nodded. “Deal. Thanks, Devi,” he said as he pulled her into him.

“So, we’re done, and I can go?” he seemed nervous.

“Yeah, I have another patient in,” she glanced at her watch, “thirty minutes? Wow, I thought this was a quick one.”

“What time do you get off?”

“My last appointment is from 4:00 to 4:45 this afternoon.”

“Let’s get dinner tonight. Are you busy?”

Was he asking her on a date? No, just as friends to reconnect. Still, she had to keep things professional. Dot the T’s, cross the I’s – “What?” Nailed it.

He exhaled in a gentle laugh, his right arm reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “I, umm, I asked you to have dinner with me.”

“Like a date?”

He stared at the floor, another laugh escaping him. “Yeah, Devi, like a date.”

To be honest, she was a little angry with him for this. “Paxton, I can’t.”

“Devi, come on. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It doesn’t even have to be a date! Just two friends, catching up.”

She opened the door, attempting to usher him out. “That would be hugely unethical, Paxton. If you wanted to ask me out, you shouldn’t have handpicked me to be your therapist. I can’t date one of my clients.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it again with a nod. “You’re right, I’m sorry, Dr. Vishwakumar. I didn’t mean to offend you. Thanks for all your help today. I’ll see you next week,” he told her. It would have seemed respectful or sincere if he hadn’t smirked the whole time. He was already at the front desk, presumably scheduling his next appointment when Devi reached her desk. He turned, his eyes settling on her immediately. “Oh and, Dr. Vishwakumar, you look good in that color,” he said with a smile that made her knees weak.

“Devi, he was flirting with you!” Hannah rushed to her side once he was gone.

“Lucky me,” she grimaced, pulling her phone from her desk drawer.

*We’re getting drinks tonight.. Actually we’re going out. Get hot.*

***

“So why are we going out tonight?” Fabiola asked, pouring shots of tequila in her kitchenette.

Fabiola had a cozy apartment in Koreatown. After receiving her degree in mechanical engineering from UC Berkeley, she received an entry-level job at Aldrin Corp. Within a few years, and some well-timed retirements, Fabiola was promoted to Senior Project Engineer. It was a job that was made for her. She often said she felt she was more hands on than previous SPE’s she’d worked for, but it also gained her the respect of her subordinates and made meeting deadlines that much easier. Her salary allowed her to not only afford this apartment near downtown LA, but to keep saving. Devi thought even with Eleanor climbing the ranks in her own field, Fabiola would be the first to have a suburban home like they’d all grown up in. For now though, she’d have the apartment closest to the clubs, and would be their pre-game hub.

“Yeah, you’re lucky you picked tonight. I had an early table read this morning, but I don’t have to be on set again until Sunday,” Eleanor agreed, touching up her eyeshadow.

“You will not believe who walked into my office today,” Devi groaned, leaving the bathroom to meet Fabiola at the counter. She swiped a shot off the counter and downed it with a wince.

“What about the salt and lime?” her friend asked in outrage. “I cut fresh lime for you!”

Devi grabbed a wedge and bit the flesh out and Fabiola nodded curtly. “I’ll use the salt for the next one.”

“So, who was it?” Eleanor asked, gliding out of the bathroom to join them. “Was it Sebastian? I know he’s almost 50, but I don’t know how you didn’t go home with him at the last premier party.”

Eleanor was a successful actress. She wasn’t a leading lady yet. She was gaining a lot of clout though. Enough clout to be at premier parties with Sebastian Stan… and Amandla Stenberg… and Tom Holland. Her phone was full of A-list stars and she was not legally obligated to keep her mouth shut about any time she spent with them. She very thoughtfully brought Devi and Fabiola to her premier parties as her guests, and that meant that they met a lot of A-list stars too.

“It was not Sebastian Stan,” Devi rolled her eyes, “and I’ll remind you, he texted you the next day asking you to thank me for calling his driver to come get him, remember? He was plastered and did not need to wake up with a stranger in bed with him.”

“Yeah, he’s really shy and private about his personal life. That fruit basket he sent you was intense.”

“Hello, losing focus,” Fabiola redirected while refilling Devi’s shot glass. “Who came in today?”

Devi groaned as she remembered her obligation to patient privacy. “I can’t tell you. Stupid HIPAA. What I can tell you is, he asked me out at the end of the session.” Eleanor and Fabiola grinned at each other before turning their grins on Devi. “What?”

“You wanted to say yes!” they said in unison.

“What? No, I didn’t. I’m dreading seeing this guy again next week.”

“No, you’re not! You’ve told us tons of stories of your patients flirting with you and your coworkers. Never once has it prickled you to the point of wanting to go get hammered in a nightclub.”

“Fabiola’s right! You’re fantasizing about getting with this guy in the exam room like on Grey’s. God, will that show ever not be relevant?”

“The point is the reason this has you tweaking is because you know you can’t do it.”

“Shut up, you guys suck.” Devi said, preparing a salt strip on her wrist for another shot.

“So, give him to another therapist so he isn’t your patient.”

“I tried before he even walked in, but Makayla said he asked for me specifically. She said something about how he knew another satisfied client.”

“Why is your job so sexual?” Eleanor laughed to which Devi glared. “Sorry, I’m sure all of your clients are satisfied.”

“You’re the worst,” Devi laughed, grabbing a lime wedge and thrusting the saltshaker into Fabiola’s hand. “Now are we pre-gaming or what?”

After more than enough shots resulted in finishing off the bottle in record time, Eleanor called for a car. The girls piled in, giggling a lot more than they had been a half hour prior. Fabiola insisted on controlling the music, though no one argued. Fab had an excellent knack for reading the energy and picking the perfect soundtrack. At least normally. This time, what she thought to be a great throwback jam, took Devi back eight years to a time that would only increase her anxiety to think about. 2022, Ben Gross’s Christmas Party.

***

“Coyote girl!”

“Hey, Trent,” Devi smiled meeting him and Paxton by the punch bowl. “You didn’t dip your balls in this again, did you?”

“Come on, Devi, I’m in college now. Would I do that?”

She looked between Trent and Paxton: Trent attempting to look way too innocent, Paxton analyzing him just as much as Devi. Suddenly, he turned to Devi. “You know what? I brought a bottle of Jack. It’s in the fridge. I’ll share with you.”

Devi smiled in gratitude as Paxton led her inside. “So, you’re drinking?”

He smiled. “We get a break from meets during Christmas break, so I figure once or twice won’t hurt.”

“David!” she heard as soon as she and Paxton entered the kitchen. The moment they started dating, Devi told Ben that the ‘nickname’ bothered her. He almost never used it anymore, but he was obviously drunk. “Wait, no sorry. Devi!”

“What’s up, man?” Paxton fist bumped Ben. “I don’t trust Trent, so Devi is drinking my stuff. Cool?”

“Cool, man, and thanks for the heads up. If you don’t trust Trent, I don’t trust Trent.”

Ben and Paxton had reached a relationship of friendly acquaintances by the time Paxton graduated. It had been a necessity when Ben tutored Paxton in order to meet the requirements for his swim scholarship to Stanford. At the time, it brought Devi mixed feelings. Being a few years removed from the drama of her sophomore year, it was nice they could all just hangout without it being weird.

“So, Ben, I gotta know. Why are you having a Christmas party?” Devi asked. “You don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“True, but you can’t throw a party over winter break without accepting that people are going to call it a Christmas party, and expecting half the guests to wear ugly sweaters whether it’s required or not,” Ben explained, only slightly tripping over his words. “I just steer into the skid.”

Devi and Paxton grinned at him before laughing. “Hey, whatever. It’s a dope party, and you guys are just too sober to appreciate it,” he accused good-naturedly, pulling a bottle of Jack Daniels out of the refrigerator. “Get moving and come find me when you’re on this level. Unless I’m with Emma, then come back later.”

“Emma?”

“His girlfriend. She’s wicked smart, and she even convinced his parents to be at parents’ weekend. They’ll probably get married,” Devi told him as Ben went back outside.

“I’m sorry, do you go to school in New Jersey or Boston?” he teased.

“What?”

“You’re turning into a New Englander, Vishwakumar,” he told her, taking a pull of the Jack. He stepped in close enough to her that she could feel the heat radiating off him.

“I am not,” she laughed taking the bottle from him and taking a pull of her own. She coughed a little as it went down causing him to smirk. “I don’t usually drink whiskey.”

“Here,” he turned to the fridge and grabbed a soda. “Chase with coke, it helps.”

Just as she went to open the can, a group of people came in, immediately crowding them because they were going to use the island for a game of quarters. At least, that’s what she was able to glean from the drunken shouts of her old classmates. She felt an arm wind around her waist and looked up at Paxton – her chest practically pressed against his.

“Hey, you want to catch up to get drunk or catch up with a friend?” he leaned down to speak in her ear.

“How about both?” she smiled, grabbing the bottle of Jack and slipping through the crowd with Paxton close behind.

“Devi, come on! Catch up!” she came back to reality to have Eleanor thrusting one of the mini fireball bottles she’d shoved in her purse into Devi’s hand.

“I hate fireball,” she groaned.

“Fireball!” her friends shouted, and they all downed a bottle.

“Ladies, we’re here.”

“Okay, okay, one more for the club,” Devi insisted.

With a cheer, all three girls shot another small bottle of fireball. After tipping the driver, Eleanor led them past the line and walked straight up to the bouncer.

“Ladies,” the man smiled. “You on the list?”

“Eleanor Wong,” she stated her name with a flutter of her eyelashes.

He was silent as he skimmed his clipboard. “I don’t see it…” he trailed off, looking up at Eleanor, “but hey, aren’t you in that new spy thriller with Michael B. Jordan?”

Her eyes lit up, “Yes! Shot for Death! Tom keeps saying I’ll get used to being recognized, but it’s such a rush! Oh, here he is now,” she held a finger up to the stout but muscular man as she answered a phone call. “Hello darling,” she said with a flourish. “We’re outside, but he says I’m not on the list. Could you?”

Within seconds, Tom Holland popped his head out the door. “Mal, they’re with me. They’re under my name.”

“My apologies, ladies. Head on in, and I can’t wait to see you on the big screen again, Ms. Wong.”

“Thank you!” she blew him a kiss as the girls hurried inside.

Tom and Eleanor greeted each other with a hug as Devi and Fabiola wandered over to the bar. When Eleanor first made friends with some prominent stars, Devi was star struck regularly. As she got more into her career, and treated more and more celebrities, she began to get used to being in their presence.

“Drinks or shots?” Fabiola shouted over the music.

“Shot for me and then I’m going to dance.”

“Yes, girl!” Fabiola pounded the bar, gaining the attention of one of the bartenders. “Can we get three B-52s?”

“Make it four and put it on my tab,” a man’s voice called from beside Devi. Her initial thought was that Eleanor and Tom had caught up to them, but it clicked almost immediately that the accent was distinctly American. And then it clicked again that she would recognize that voice anywhere.

“What are you doing here?” she wheeled around on him.

“I’m out with some friends. What are you doing here, doctor? Are you following me?”

“Paxton?” Fabiola caught his eye past Devi.

“Hey, Fabiola,” he grinned. “Good to see you!”

“Same,” she smiled back. “I didn’t know you were in town?”

“Yeah, I’m home for some physical therapy,” he shouted gesturing to his shoulder.

It took Fabiola exactly no time to connect the dots, and Devi could feel it. Instead of looking at either of her current companions, she accepted the shots from the bartender with as much gratitude as she could muster. Devi carefully pushed a shot to her left and then to her right, clutching the remaining shots tightly.

“I’ll go give Eleanor hers.”

“Nope,” Fab cut off her escape and plucked the extra shot out of her hand. “I’ll do that. You take yours and go dance!”

“Oh, I’ll cheers to that,” Paxton said, leaning forward so she could hear him. “Come dance with me.”

Maybe it was alcohol from their successful pregaming clouding her judgment, or maybe it was the way she could lose herself in Paxton’s gaze just as easily as when she was fifteen years old, but Devi couldn’t stop herself from nodding and clinking her glass against his as they downed the shots in unison. He smirked at her, grasping her hand gently and leading her to the dancefloor.

It was crowded already, but so many of the people here loved that paparazzi never got in, and they could cut loose. Devi loved that atmosphere. Under the flashing lights, music pumping so loud you can’t hear anything else, dancing with friends, or a guy she would be way too nervous to talk to otherwise – it all just made her feel alive. She felt that same adrenaline as Paxton kept his left hand firmly on her hip but did not pull her into him. Instead, he left just enough space between them for things to be innocent.

As the beat dropped on a new mix, Devi felt Paxton’s hand like an anchor. They locked eyes for a moment, and she swore she could feel the energy crackling between them. The corner of his mouth quirked up, gaze never leaving hers. This man asked her on a date that morning. The man she’d so desperately wanted as a teenager – the man that she nearly idolized and seemed so unattainable in her youth was the same man in front of her, the one looking at her like pure sex. The thought had a laugh bubbling up in her that she couldn’t stop. Full belly laughter overtook her as she bounced and swayed to the music and just lost herself.

She wasn’t sure how much time past, but at some point, Eleanor and Fabiola joined them. The music had shifted from EDM to a mix of the most beloved hip hop music from ten to fifteen years ago. As intended, that shift had more people pouring onto the dancefloor, and having any space to breathe was impossible. To Devi, it was perfect. The beat was pulsing so loud, it felt like her own heartbeat, and the familiar music was lending to everyone’s closet-love for karaoke as people around her belted the lyrics. Then she felt two hands at her hips pulling her slightly backwards to dance against a man’s chest. Normally, she didn’t mind dancing with strangers. As long as they didn’t get too handsy, she didn’t even mind the approach this guy took. Tonight, things felt different. Her eyes flew open, and immediately met Paxton’s. His look was calculating. He wasn’t going to stop her if this was what she wanted.

The thought brought an easy grin to her face as she reached a hand out toward him. His lips twitched into a crooked grin, but he met her hand and spun her into him. In that moment, time stood still. Devi didn’t notice who had approached her before Paxton’s rescue. She wasn’t sure if Fabiola and Eleanor were still on the floor with them. All she knew was that her back was pressed against Paxton’s chest, and it felt like she belonged there. They swayed to the music together, and she felt his left hand rest on her hip again. His other hand swept the hair off her right shoulder, and she felt him press tighter against her.

“What do you want from me, Devi?” he asked, his breath hot on her neck.

“You’re not dating anyone?” she asked disbelievingly. “Not at all, not even one-night stands?”

They were sitting in Ben’s theater room on the floor passing the significantly less full bottle of Jack between them. It was nice. It was easy. The awkwardness of what happened in high school long behind them.

“Hey, I have never had a one-night stand,” he pointed at her. “Have you?”

“Well, no, but I’m me and you’re you,” she laughed.

“What does that mean?” his eyes narrowed at her good-naturedly as he took another pull from the bottle of Jack and passed it back to her.

“I just mean, one of us probably has people lining up to sleep with them, and the other one is me,” she shrugged.

“Why would you even say that? Have you looked in a mirror?”

“Come on, stop, I didn’t mean” –

“I’m serious, Devi. You are a very weird girl, like that’s your brand, but it’s hot. You’re hot. If you really think guys aren’t interested in you, you’re not paying attention.”

“Stop,” she waved him off, cheeks burning hot red. “You don’t have to do that.”

He was scooting closer to her until their thighs were touching, and his gaze was searching hers looking for any hesitation. “I know. I don’t have to do anything. You know what I want to do?”

Her skin tingled under his stare, and she shook her head ‘no.’ Her stomach somersaulted when he reached a hand up to cradle her jaw. “I want show you how beautiful you are.”

Devi turned in his embrace, draping her hands around his neck. Paxton’s head immediately fell to the crook of her neck, and she played with the hair at the nape of his neck as she leaned into his ear. “I want you to show me how beautiful I am.”

His head snapped up and he pulled back to look her in the eye. His jaw had gone slack, and he was looking at her with such curiosity that it made her second guess herself. Maybe he wasn’t interested after all. Maybe he’d just been swept up in not seeing her after so long that morning. Maybe he just wanted to see if he could still get her to fall at his feet. Maybe this was just a game to him. She started to unwind her arms from him to escape her embarrassment when he pressed one of her arms down to stay in place around him. His other hand was firmly pressed against the small of her back.

“Let’s get a drink,” he suggested, waiting for her confirmation. When she nodded, he took her hand off his shoulder, pressed a kiss against the back, and led her from the dancefloor back to the bar.

“What are you drinking?”

“Whiskey sour,” she told him.

“Thought you didn’t drink whiskey?” he grinned.

“Things change.”

When their drinks were made, he nodded to a staircase, and she set off toward it with him close behind. The upper room was a quieter atmosphere. Tables and chairs, booths, a pool table – it was a great offset from the chaos downstairs. He placed their drinks down on a booth, and she slid into one side expecting him to slide in opposite her. Instead, he slid in next to her.

“Paxton, look I’m sorry if I misread things, I just” –

He placed a hand on her knee. “No, don’t do that. You didn’t misread anything. Just tell me why you said that exactly?”

***

Devi woke to the feeling of a hammer slamming against her skull. She could feel the sunlight piercing through her eyelids, making her roll over and press her face harder against her pillow. She heard a toilet flush, and that prompted her to inspect her surroundings a bit more closely. Blearily, she moved to a sitting position as the faucet in the bathroom ran. It was her apartment, that much she could tell. Maybe Eleanor and Fabiola decided to come back here? Fabiola lived closest to the club. That was why they pre-gamed at her place. Why would they come back to her place? Was she the only one coherent enough to call for a ride? With the way she felt this morning, that was unlikely. No, so who was using her bathroom and whistling as they walked down the hallway?

She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and unplugged it from the charger. She had a few unread messages in her group text with her friends.

*Let us know when you wake up this morning, we want to hear all the dirty details!*

*Also, avocado is a great hangover food!*

The dirty details? What did Devi do? So much of the previous night was a blur. At least she has clothes on – one of her dad’s old t-shirts and a pair of pajama shorts. That had a to be sign that she didn’t do anything too stupid. So, who was out there?

Only one way to find out, she thought, hoisting herself out of bed. She stepped out of her bedroom, and immediately smelled eggs. Devi padded down the hallway to the kitchen, and there was a steaming cast iron skillet sitting on a hot pad at the breakfast bar. No one was in the kitchen though.

“Hey, you’re up!” a voice cheered from behind her. Devi whirled around to the living room, to see Paxton on her couch carefully stretching one arm over the other shoulder.

“Jesus! Paxton, what are you doing?”

He tilted his head at her with a quizzical look. “I’m doing my shoulder exercises. You’re the one that assigned them.”

“Not that!” she couldn’t help but holler at him. “What are you doing in my apartment?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it again. His arms fell to his sides. “You actually demanded that I come here.”

“What?” her eyes went wide as she did her best to recall the events of last night. “Did we…?”

He started laughing as he stepped past her and behind the breakfast bar. “I knew you were too drunk to remember. No, we did not have sex. You were mad at me for that last night by the way.”

“No…” she trailed off taking a seat at the breakfast bar.

“Oh yeah, I told you I was going to take the couch, and you said you’d been waiting like ten years to see whether or not I stuff my swim briefs,” he smirked. “I don’t, in case you’re still wondering.”

“Oh my god,” this new information and the headache still throbbing against her skull was enough to make her vomit. Instead, she just dropped her head to the counter, the pressure soothing against her forehead.

“Come on, it’s not that bad. It was cute… in a very Devi way,” he brushed her arm gently. “Sit up, you need to eat.”

She shifted her head slightly to meet his eye. “I yelled at you for not showing me your dick, and you stayed the night and made me breakfast.”

“Yeah, I had to make sure you were okay,” his eyes warmed to hers. “Now, sit up and eat.”

She obeyed and smiled when he pushed a loaded plate toward her. “This looks awesome.”

“Yeah, I had to work with what you had, but I call it a southwest sweet potato hash,” he told her proudly. After loading up his own plate, he came around the breakfast bar to sit next to her.

“So, anything else I should know about last night?”

“Well,” he paused to swallow a bite of food, “what’s the last thing you remember?”

She thought about the events of the previous night, as Paxton hopped up again.His energized movements distracting her, she asked, “Are you not hungover at all?”

“Based on what you told me, I had a lot less to drink last night than you did, so no, I’m not,” she heard him reply. She was staring at her plate because too much movement made her nauseated.

“You didn’t happen to make” –

“Coffee,” he cut her off happily, placing the mug in front of her, “and here’s some Tylenol. I was looking for blowfish or something but doesn’t look like you have any.”

She gratefully took the little pills from him and threw them back with a swig of coffee. “I used to. I stopped getting hungover for a while too.”

“Why’d you go so hard last night?”

“I think you know why,” she said with a glare.

He pursed his lips in a pout before choosing to ignore her implication and coming back to sit with her with his own cup of coffee. “So, what do you remember from last night?”

“I remember dancing with you on the dance floor.”

“Anyone else? Eleanor, Fab, some dude that I’m pretty sure was Lucas Hedges?”

“Okay, yeah. Some guy started dancing on me, and I wanted to dance with you instead,” she replied casually, continuing her breakfast.

“Nothing else? You don’t remember going to the upper room to talk about what happened at Ben’s party?”

“We talked about Ben’s party?”

“Well, yeah, funny thing is, I didn’t remember that,” he told her with a nostalgic grin. “Like I remembered it, but I thought I dreamt some of it.”

“What? Like what?”

“Well you were gone when I woke up, and never said anything about it so I thought…”

“You thought you dreamt making out with me?”

“Well, see so that’s all we did? It’s hard, because when I’ve dreamt about it since then…” he trailed off, the tips of his ears turning pink at his own admission.

“You’ve dreamt about it since then?”

“Not like a ton… it’s not like I’ve dreamt about you every night for the last eight years, that would be kinda creepy probably. Just any time something reminds me of you, it seems to come up… high school, something about Gross in the news… seeing you on social media… it’s not that weird.”

“Paxton…”

“I mean, whatever, I know I’m going to dream about last night for a long time,” he winked. She didn’t understand how he could have so little shame. Then she remembered she had enough to go around. “You made it your mission to remind me of every dirty detail of that night at Ben’s.”

“We made out last night?”

“We started to, yeah. Instead of getting hot and heavy, you ran off to the bathroom, and I found you with your head in a urinal. That’s when it was time to go home.”

“And that’s what you’re going to dream about?” she scoffed.

“No, I’m going to dream about you pawing at my zipper yelling about pringle cans.” He settled into a close-lipped smile, but it didn’t hide the mirth in his eyes.

“Oh my god,” Devi groaned, slipping off her stool to flop over onto the couch.

She could hear Paxton laughing. Soon, he was settled on the couch with her. She turned her body just enough to catch his eye, and he patted his lap. She rolled her eyes but stretched out so her head was on his thigh and she was looking up at him. His features were soft, gentle, caring.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” he told her softly, one hand carding through her hair. “I don’t mind when you act like you like me.”

“I’m not acting,” her eyes fell shut, feeling his fingers stroke her scalp could lull her to sleep.

“Yeah?”

She hummed an affirmative. She was pretty sure if he kept scratching her head like that, she’d say yes to anything. And of course, she liked him. She was never able to truly deny that fact. Even when she’d had boyfriends, she’d be lying if Paxton wasn’t always lingering in the back of her mind. How could he not be? His appearance was god-like. He was beyond hiding behind words – if she was honest, that was her favorite part – he wasn’t afraid to be real with her. And he never gave up on her. As rocky as their friendship had started, as often as they lost touch, here he was telling her, he still thought about her.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she almost whispered.

“Me too.”

She felt his hand trace the edge of her face, and couldn’t stop herself from leaning into his touch, and pressing a kiss to his palm. Somehow, it was comfortable, intimate. She felt like she was born to be here. The same thought she had eight years ago came back to the forefront of her mind: It’s always been Paxton. At that realization, her eyes popped open. He’d leaned his head back, eyes closed; he looked as close to dozing off as she felt moments ago. His lips formed a peaceful grin, just slightly curved upwards, and his two small moles pinning opposite corners of his mouth were barely shadowed by the growth of his facial hair overnight. His long eyelashes curled naturally in a way, Devi thought, women would kill for. She always knew he was hot, but she never really took the time to notice how beautiful he was.

Before she could stop herself, before she could think twice, Devi leaned up and pressed her lips to his. And time stood still. Just as she was going to pull away again, his hand found hold in her hair, and his lips moved over hers with fervor. She wasn’t sure who opened to the other first, but in a flash their tongues were dueling for dominance. Instead of admitting defeat, Devi pulled his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down. He, honest to god, whimpered in response. She smiled against mouth before he swallowed her smile with one, two, and then three slow languid kisses. He pulled away, pressed her to his chest that she could feel was heaving. When she looked up to meet his eye, they were closed again, but he wore the most breathtaking smile she’d ever seen.

“Mm... I want to take my time with you,” he told her, pressing another kiss to her lips. She blushed at his implication. “God, I am not going to forget this any time soon.”

“Mood, my guy. Big mood,” she agreed, sitting up next to him.

He turned so he was halfway facing her, and his left hand took refuge on her thigh. “Can I ask you something?” he asked, waiting for her nod before continuing. “Okay, I don’t want to pop this, like, bubble we’re in right now, but… what does this mean going forward?”

“Paxton…” her eyes softened. She knew what she wanted, but with her job, how could she…

“Devi, listen. I know it’s my fault that you’re my therapist. I know that I made this difficult, but I really just wanted to see you, and now? I know one thing for sure, I really don’t want to wait another eight years to kiss you again.” he sighed, and repositioned again so he was fully facing her, clasping her hands in his. “I’ll wait for four weeks if it’ll make you happy. I’ll be your dirty little secret if that’s what you want. Just don’t turn me down. Let me take you to dinner, bring you flowers, make you soup when you’re sick. Give me a chance to sweep you off your feet.”

“Honestly, I’m stuck on ‘dirty little secret.’”

He smirked. “Lingering looks… shirtless assessments… secret dates… secret hookups,” he told her sensually, pausing between each suggestion to press a kiss first to her lips, then the corner of her mouth, her jaw, and finally ended by sucking her earlobe into his mouth and dragging his teeth over it. She shuddered under him, and felt him smile against her neck. “Do you like that idea?”

“Oh, fuck yeah.”

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