#And then has sex with them to complete the ritual lmao okay

[anoteofcalcium]

Camellia is carrying me my Demon playthrough 😔

(Alt. Title: Camellia and her gross Little Freak)

[fic-recommended]

Shyan Fics

more to be added, if I feel like adding

—————————————

I’ll Crawl Home – carrieonfighting

(16,024 words / 6 chapters / Teen and up)

Tags: Demon!Shane, Angst, Non-Linear Narrative, bc im PRETENTIOUS, Protective!Shane

"Shane was almost unnerved by how quickly he’d settled into this body, this name, this life - his friendship with Ryan was the most time he’d spent with any human before, and yet the man fascinated him."

Wow. That’s all I gotta say. I started reading Shane/Ryan fic because I had a weird dream and went looking for comfort fic to ease the edges of my mind. I stumbled upon this fic and was so fucking blown away. I was drawn in because of the demon!Shane tag and the way this story is charted out is insane. It’s nonlinear (there is a liner version tho I’m strongly against it). Just ohmygod read this fic it’s insane and hurts so good.

I’m Gonna Keep You in Love with Me (for a While) – beethechange

(21,847 words / 1 chapter / Explicit)

Tags: fake married, also real married, friends to husbands to lovers to ???, Las Vegas Wedding, possible dubious consent due to alcohol consumption, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, Rimming, just assume most of the kinds of sex are present here, probably more Celine Dion than you were hoping for, they say "fuck" a lot, also "dude" but I don't make the rules okay, Bedsharing

Shane is pacing around the hotel room. It’s not a huge room and Shane’s legs are long enough that he doesn’t have much real estate to pace before he has to swing back around for another loop.

“Can you stop?” Ryan asks. “You’re making me dizzy.”

“Okay,” Shane says finally. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re just going to—we’re going to be married. The only way out is through.”

“Um,” Ryan says, because this plan strikes him as counterproductive to their shared goal of not being married.

To me there are the big two when thinking of Shane/Ryan fics. That is to say the others aren’t amazing but two gutted me in a way I was not expecting from I ship I don’t even ship. This is one of the two and fucks sake it hurts me but in a way I really like and neeeeeded. (The other is the one above this)

Muscles Better and Nerves More – beethechange

(26,301 words / 1 chapter / Explicit)

Tags: Bodyswap, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, First Time, Pining, Slow Burn, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Body Horror, Rituals, Swearing, Sexy Shame

“I’m serious,” Ryan says. “Don’t go fucking up my body. I want that shit back in the same condition I left it.”

“The same condition—Ryan. I’m not spending hours in a gym every day so you don’t lose muscle mass.”

“I want you to treat my body with the respect you would a national park. Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but memories.”

***

A certain meddling Voodoo Queen of New Orleans thinks Ryan and Shane need some new perspective on life. After an inadvisable ritual deposits Ryan in Shane’s body, and Shane in Ryan’s, the ghoulboys pursue some soul-searching and self-discovery to put things right. Sometimes in a sexy way.

I have found out while reading this fic that I am also a sucker for bodyswap!au. Something about learning to love someone completely while seeing (and being lmao) all of them is so intimate and endearing to me. Plus there’s dumplings in this fic and that is just sweet sweet poetry.

If you can find a way to love me, it’s all right – varnes

(11,232 words / 1 chapter / Teen and up)

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Psychic Ryan

When Ryan was a kid, he fell into a pile of bricks. They were playing hide and seek, and he thought he had the best hiding spot: high up in a thickly lush tree, his knees drawn to his chest so that he’d blend in. But the branch broke. He hit his head and doesn’t remember much of what happened after that. When he woke up a few hours later, the sun was setting, and his friends were gone, and his parents were calling for him, their flashlights swinging across the grass. There’d been blood on his bangs.

Anyway, now he can see ghosts.

Kind of.

Look, he’s not great at it.

--

Or: Ryan, personally, has three lists: “NICE GHOSTS,” “GHOSTS I DON’T FUCK WITH,” and, “IDK, SPOOKY STUFF.”

Oh my goddddd this fic is so sweet and so owie. At first I was skeptical because the fanon is that Shane can see demons or ghosts or whatever. But having it be Ryan???? So owie in such a good way. Other then this fic being the masterpiece that it is, I’m going to convince you with one sentence: Ryan has a cat with a ghost in it that demands Taco Bell. That’s it baybee. Read it or you’ll regret itttt.

BFFS Get Married For A Week – Ryan and Shane – aspookycryptidsock

(18,108 words / 8 chapters / Explicit)

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Pining, Mutual Pining

"As I was saying," Curly continues with a pointed glare in Ryan's direction. "It's my honor to join the two of you in unholy matrimony. The rules are simple, you'll live together, plan one date each, and cherish each other. Til week do you part."

I first read this fic years and years ago. I don’t know how it happened but me and my best friend found it while being at a library and we went feral reading it before their mom picked us up. It’s my origin story to the ship. This fic is my first love and my baby gorl. Shane is intense in a way I lovelovelove. Ryan is dumber then a pile a bricks amen.

Body Farming – shiphitsthefan

(7,251 words / 1 chapter / Explicit)

Tags: Season/Series 04, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Shane Madej, Protective Shane Madej, Omega Ryan Bergara, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mutual Pining, Scenting, Multiple Orgasms, Knotting, Daddy Kink, Size Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Filth with Feelings, Community: bfukinkmeme, Multisex Omega

Failed suppressants and a surprise heat: the worst of cliches, and here Ryan stands, living the trope on location with the alpha he’s hopelessly in love with. Even worse, they’re spending the night in the famous Bell Witch Cave, completely alone and with no way to contact the outside world.

Ryan knows he can survive and keep his preheat a secret, as long as Shane will stop being so protective and concerned. After all, it’s not like Shane wants to bond with him.

Right?

Your honor I’d like to state my case by saying being horny on main is bc I’m silly goofy and I never meant no harm. ABO fuck or die in a cave? Fuccck kkkk y e aaaa

Por Favor, Sweetheart – carrieonfighting

(7,859 words / 1 chapter / Teen and up)

Tags: Kid Fic, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Accidental Baby Acquisition, ryan dadgara, and shane dadej, Original Baby Character - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, You Have Been Warned

Two dorks raise a baby and don't even realise they're doing it together until it's too late

Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks

Ryan gains custody of a baby and is strugggglinnnggg until a Sasquatch comes and helps <3. Ain’t nothing says romance baybeee then an actual baby.

daring it’s a faded notion – varnes

(28,760 words / 5 chapters / Explicit)

Tags: Paranormal shenanigans, y'all remember that trope where people can't be more than 5 feet apart without Suffering?

The sun is too bright and Ryan’s whole body is alight with something that is eating him all the way up from the inside out, but he keeps his eyes open and he makes himself look, and he tells himself that once he finds Shane, he’ll think about it. Once he finds Shane, they’ll make a plan. Once he finds Shane, and only then, he’ll let himself have the thought he’s been swallowing down like bile since he came to: that they didn’t fall.

They were pushed.

OR: Ryan and Shane get cursed by a ghost, and now they can't be not-touching. It's ... not great.

Ghosties don’t like the no homo and said ummm yeeeeet!!! Into the Grand Canyon then the ghoul boys kiss???? Makes me go hubba hubba

Collide - needywitch

(35,310 words / 2 chapters / Explicit)

Tags: Pining, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Falling In Love, Biting, First Time, Dirty Talk, Love Confessions, Rough Sex, Shane Madej Has a Big Dick

Ryan is desperately in love with his best friend.

Owieeeeeee. This one made me cryyyy. The prose of this fic along with a healthy usage of the word jaunty made this fic deeply emotional as well as made me want to cry when they kissed. Very excellent

A Perfect Piece of Ass, Like Every Californian - beethechange

(25,706 words / 3 chapters / Explicit)

Tags: entirely self-indulgent PWP, smut with feelings, Threesome, Birthday Sex, Oral Sex, lotta ball stuff here folks, so i hope you like balls, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Sexy Air Traffic Conducting, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism

“Happy birthday, Shane,” Sara says. “I got you a Ryan.”

“Th—thanks?” Shane says. He looks at Ryan and Ryan just looks back, weirdly impassive, giving nothing away. “But I’m pretty sure I already have a Ryan in this model. What’s the return policy?”

“Not like this, you don’t,” she says, raising her eyebrows meaningfully. Out of the corner of his eye Shane can see Ryan bring his hand to his mouth, stifling a snicker that he turns into a cough. Oh, he thinks.

Oh shit.

I’m not gonna sit here and pretend that this fic is morally correct but Shane/Sara/Ryan fic is what I needed and it blew me away and it is the best smut thank you goodnight

[mermaidsirennikita]

Immortals After Dark Hero Power Ranking: Part Nove

Finished the Torture Island arc and while I can see why Declan Chase is so loathed, Iiiiiii did not think he was as bad as people make him out to be. Iiiiii had fun.

Garreth MacRieve, werewolf, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Pros: 

–invented “werewolf versus demon” basketball because he was SADS

–smells Lucia masturbating and is like WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN FIX THAT

–gets Lucia off through prison bars…. a determined man

–engages in a Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote dynamic with his heroine for a YEAR where he’s just chasing her around the globe while she crushes him with trucks and shit… he sees it as foreplay

–is actually truly the most woke werewolf hero; rightly points out to Lucia that she’s not exaaaactly being chaaaaste when he’s tearing that shit up every night even if there’s no penetration; keeps himself from going full moon crazy with magic in order to keep Lucia from being pressured into sex with him, and even when that magic breaks super holds back until she makes a conscious decision; does not do the Ritual Doggy Style Full Moon thing because he wants to look into her eeeeeeyes and ground her and even puts her on top, a KING

–catches a special new butterfly for her and names it after her leave me alone I’m crying

–“lass, I’m about to make you a widow” …. this shit works every time

–even a GOD can’t make him hurt Lucia

Cons:

–does not believe that women should have jobs after they find their werewolf soulmates, but to be fair, he is completely right, why the hell would I work if I had a rich werewolf soulmate who hunts big game for me and does all the cooking and cleaning and work and shit

–is honestly big stupid about plunging into danger

–is honestly big stupid about a lot of things… plan for keeping his woman from pursuing her immortal mission was “I’ll just fuck her until she passes out and then I’ll go do big mission for her”, admirable but not flaw-free logic

–was gonna help Lachlain steal a baby

–BIG “dumb younger brother” energy

–“we’re werewolves we’re very curious and always have to solve mysteries” lmao okay Scooby Doo

2. Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

–called Sabine a “good girl” even when she’s actually being a bad girl

–is explicitly a dom

–the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

–is into spanking

–takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she’s evil and he’s all “awwww baby I don’t understand why they don’t like you :(” when she’s committed, like, war crimes… down ridiculous…

–his big comeback to his enemy is like “lmao well I’m about to make your girl’s eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK”

–has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

–I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

–met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn’t remember fucking her once until she reminded him…. I thought it was funny

–that time he went at Sabine’s tits for so long that the next day she was all “THEY HURT SO BAD” so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

–“I don’t have any fetishes!!!!” has every fetish known to man

–was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her… this is a pro… but I’m gonna pretend it’s a con

–is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

3. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

4. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

5. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

6. Murdoch Wroth, vampire, Untouchable

Pros:

—just extremely determined… his heroine can’t bear skin to skin contact? He’s gonna use an icicle as a dildo. He fucked up so bad she fled to an ice kingdom? Well, he’s gonna fucking find her

–probably the closest IaD gets to a himbo… HE WAS MORE THAN A RAKE, DAMMIT!!! HE DIED IN A WAR!!!!!!!

–I don’t think y'all get how impressive it is that he consistently hit the clit through a blanket AND fucked her to orgasm with an icicle for like a year

–is actually a very good brother

–finds out his woman maybe married another guy and goes “she’s going to be a widow” I love mess

Cons:

–I mean does bitch a lot about how sexually frustrated he is but his heroine is an ice princess who can’t stand skin to skin contact without extreme pain so……………………… I do get it blue balls kill

–will masturbate to the thought of you in the shower while you’re unconscious six feet away covered in arrow wounds… if that’s something you’re not into…

–has confidence issues because the Wroth brothers are rattled off like Nikolai: the leader! Sebastian: the brain! Conrad: the mysterious babe! Murdoch: … the slut?

(do love that the Wroth bros are the Charlie’s Angels of this series)

–bit Dani without her consent blah blah blah

7. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

8. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

9. Declan Chase/Aidan the Fierce/Gabriel/Edward/whoever the fuck else he was, berserker, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

Pros:

--I mean you can't really go wrong with someone who is so determined to have his heroine that he just defies death and keeps coming back throughout the ages

--probably the only employee at Torture Island to get in trouble for workplace sexual harassment.... impressive

--that time he cried after suffocating Regin (it must be truuuuue love truuuuuue love)

--that bathtub scene where he was like "wait no actually I'm taking over this weird sexual interplay thing we have going on"

--his days-long island hike grovel where he was like just sadly walking around and being like *eye emoji* at Regin.... hilarious

Cons:

--I actually totally got why Regin forgave him (true love + dick too bomb) but personally I feel like it's basically impossible that Lachlain and Rydstrom and Sabine are gonna let the shit he pulled slide forever so suspension of disbelief was rough there

--he did vivisect a MacRieve, and I am nothing if not a MacRieve Stan For Lyfe

--the drug addiction issues are rough

--that time he had to let Lothaire bite his neck whenever he wanted and Lothaire was like "if I call you a girl's name just go with it" and it DIDN'T turn into sex? Sads

10. Malkolm Slaine, demon/vampire, Demon from the Dark

Pros:

–we love a virgin hero always

–gave Carrow the heads of her enemies As A Treat

–very good at giving sensual baths

–a responsible, loving step-demon to what is admittedly an annoying child

–made Rydstrom, Nikolai, Garreth, and Myst all “YOU WANNA GO BRO???” in what was by far one of the funniest parts of the series

Cons:

–honestly a very sweet guy

–swallows toothpaste TWICE

–comes against Carrow’s leg like thirty seconds after meeting her (actually a pro in terms of hilarity)

–TOO BIG, WON’T FIT (pro)

–could’ve been meaner, I’m not gonna lie

11. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–all but a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)

[solarwonux]

prince!wonwoo x witch!reader 

w.c: 4.3k (I almost made it 5k but I stopped myself) 

warnings: murder, death, alcohol, tarot cards, running away, witchy things if you squint, angst, smut, ropes. 

note: special special thanks to my baby @starlightshua she named this beauty lmao. I re wrote this story so many times, literally the first draft of this was nothing like this and then I woke up at 5am today and rewrote the entire thing. I’m pretty proud so I hope you enjoy it. Also let me know if you want more of this, I have some ideas. Enjoy.x

Wonwoo pushes the tavern door open a little too hard. It hits the brick wall behind it, the sound erupting through the wasted and nearly wasted bodies that occupied the space. He doesn’t care, he needs a drink or many of them for that matter so he walks letting the door rattle obnoxiously behind him. The people eyeing him down like he just murdered their first born and not interrupted their nightly escapades.

He reaches the bar taking the worn out stool at the end and taps his fingers against the wooden counter. He was a regular and sadly had gotten used to the mustiness that was etched into the walls of the place and yet he still felt out of place.

“What does our royal guest of honor want tonight?” Mingyu rapped his fingers drumming in front of Wonwoo, grabbing his attention.

“Not royal, but bourbon please.”

Ever since he ran away from his Royal duties and somehow ended up in a tavern that existed harmoniously to bring two worlds together. Wonwoo had seen and witnessed things he had only grown up hearing during his mother’s bedtime stories. A secret language they shared when hidden behind the comfort of his bedroom. Away from the torturous hands of the King.

“As you wish your majesty.” Mingyu’s sarcastic drawl took him out of the spiral inside his head. He rolled his eyes obnoxiously as he watched Mingyu throw his head back in laughter, his fangs catching in the reflection of the dim light causing a chill to roll up his spine. “You’re so uptight tonight, relax a little Prince Charming.” He winked at Wonwoo before turning around and walking away from him.

No matter how hard he tried to leave the life he had behind, everyone here in this tavern that belonged neither here nor there, loved to remind him that he still had the king’s royal blood coursing through his veins. Usually, he didn’t mind, sometimes he would play into the character when he was drunk enough to earn a few laughs. But tonight on the final night of October, he didn’t want to be reminded of his true identity.

On Hallows Eve, three years ago his life had gone south. He was set to marry a princess from a neighboring kingdom and he couldn’t wait to meet her during the annual ball. He had woken up that morning with a jolt and skipped a step as he made his way to his mother and father’s private chamber. When he arrived, his heart, in his throat. He found his father the charming King beloved by his people with his hands around his mother’s throat and a murderous glimmer behind his soft eyes while she slowly turned a rough shade of blue.

Wonwoo felt his world crash onto the ground. his father didn’t stop no matter how hard he pleaded for him too. His tears fell onto the palace grounds creating tsunami’s as he witnessed his mother take her last breath.

He ran, ran to where his feet could carry him. Packed up anything that could fit in the tiny knapsack he used whenever he went to explore the forest behind the palace. And left, leaving behind the life he had only ever known.

He traveled for three days on foot without food nor rest, before he came across the tavern that smelled more like rotten feet than whiskey. He met Mingyu, who had recognized him right away and gave him the tavern’s royal treatment. Food, water and the rickety old room just above the tavern.

“It’s not satin or velvet or whatever you guys use over there, but it’s enough for you to sleep. Just pay me back by working here every odd day of the week.” Mingyu said, clapping his shoulder and leaving him behind to deal with his new reality.

That night was the night he was able to mourn his mother’s death and his own one as well. The king had come out publicly with fake tears in his eyes to say that his wife and his second born son had fallen ill to an illness and that when the royal physicians realized it, it had been too late. Though, everyone in the tavern knew the truth and he found comfort knowing that they hated the king just as much as he did.

“Penny for your thoughts my prince.” The angelic voice he had grown to love so much took him out of his thoughts. He lived in his head too much and he was thankful he had you —a witch he had met during one of his shifts over a year ago, to ground him back down onto Earth.

“Don’t call me that.” He smiled and grabbed hold of your hand and brought it up to his lips. He kissed it lightly keeping his eyes on yours as they burned holes of fire into them. You tensed up feeling the heat run up your body. It was laughable. You, a witch who could make anyone succumb and fall at her feet, was letting a runway prince pursue her and turn her into mush at his feet.

“You liked it when I said in bed once.”

“That was one time, princess.” He winked, enjoying the way your cheeks flushed. Your body reacted amorously to him and each time it bubbled an emotion deep inside of him that he wasn’t sure what it was. It scared him and excited him all at the same time.

Wonwoo stopped believing in love three years ago but every time you were nearby. He believed that he could again.

“One to many times Wonwoo.” You toyed as you took the empty seat next to him. Your hand still entrapped in his and you weren’t planning on letting go any time soon.

Mingyu rolled his eyes and placed Wonwoo’s drink in front of him, “Wonwoo has a prince kink?.” He mumbled his voice laced with disgust. “I should’ve known.” and leaned against the wooden table, shooting daggers at Wonwoo.

“Not a kink if that’s what he is Gyu.”

Wonwoo didn’t care that he still had royal blood in him, because whenever he found himself laughing at Mingyu’s poor attempts to flirt with nymphs. Or your presence next to him he forgot that he did. He wondered if his mother had led him here to this repulsive tavern in order to meet the two of you.

Although Wonwoo knew you were perfectly capable at defending yourself. He loved walking you home.

The two of you trailed down the dirt path hand in hand; chasing the blue light of the moon. Comfortable silence erupting between your bodies. Wonwoo never felt more at home then now.

“So what’s a witch like you doing with a commoner like me on Hallow’s Eve.” Wonwoo glanced at you his eyes sparkling like they held a million galaxies and you found yourself wanting to get lost in them. “Don’t you have rituals or cards to read, aren’t you the most powerful underneath a blue moon.” He edged on making you smile.

“Are you saying you want your cards read again?” You bumped your shoulder against his. His grip on your hand falters making you giggle.

Wonwoo’s eyes grew wider than the moon as he remembered the night you read his cards to him for the first time a few weeks ago and he blushed. “Last time you read my cards I ended tied up.”

“Well that’s cause you picked my sex deck Wonwoo, we’ve been over this.” You stopped walking and leaned up to kiss his cheek, leaving a plum lipstick mark behind. “Don’t act like you didn’t like it.” You whispered in his ear.

Wonwoo swallowed hard at your taunting tone. He knew you were right and he hated it. If you had asked him with that infamous bat of your eyelashes he would’ve done it again. “For once angel I want to see you tied up.” He blurted out, his cheeks turning a rough shade of red as he processed what he had said after he had said.

“Okay, but you’re going to have to catch me first.”

“Catch you, what a—.”

Before Wonwoo could finish his sentence you took off running. Wonwoo threw his head back in disbelief, his body coursing with exhaustion for a brief second before he took off as well. This is what he loved most, the adrenaline rush you brought to him. Although sometimes he thought you were too much he wouldn’t trade the moments he spent with you for anything in the world. Not even for his mother’s life and you had offered a few times, but he refused because with you he felt complete.

Your laughter rang through the howling branches of the trees surrounding the two of you. Wonwoo’s body felt like it was floating as he chased after you, the cool night air hitting his face as he ran with everything in him. It reminded him of the times he spent at the palace gardens chasing after his older brother, his mother’s voice ringing in his ears as she joined in halfway. It was these moments where he was the most carefree, that reminded him of his mother. That made him miss her with everything in his being. It was moments like these where the anger and resentment towards his father would surface and he wished he hadn’t had run away that day. But this was different because for the first time in his life he was running towards someone, a goal.

“Maybe you don’t want it enough Wonwoo. Are you even trying?” You teased, he could tell he was close from how loud your voice sounded. It only gave him motivation to run faster, so he did.

You faded into view, it felt like he was seeing you for the first time in his life. You were leaning against a tree, arms cockily crossed in front of you, waiting. He let his feet carry him like the wind around him and soon he was crashing into you like an ocean wave. You laughed silently. The impact, knocking the air out of your lungs making you feel lighter than a cloud.

Almost as if by instinct Wonwoo’s arms found their way around your body, his face morphing into one of concern. He didn’t mean to crash into you as hard as he did or at all, but sometimes when he was with you his body acted as if it were unattached to his brain. “I’m sorry are you okay?” He placed his fingers underneath your chin lifting your head up so your watery eyes locked with his.

You planted your hands on his chest, balling your fist wrinkling his starch white button down and nodded. “With-- y-you I’m always okay.” You gasped and closed the distance. Your lips were on his faster than he could blink and he felt himself melt.

In fairytales silver and water were a witches ' kryptonite. In this life you were Wonwoo’s.

Wonwoo didn’t win but he should’ve known you were going to give in to his desires. Despite your sneaky ways he knew he could always trust you but still it had caught him off guard when you had given him the onyx ropes upon entering your small cottage.

“You wanted to tie me up right? Now’s your chance.” The amount of trust that laid behind your eyes was overwhelming. And no one, not even his mother, had trusted him like you did.

He placed the ropes down on your old wooden bed and kissed you with everything in him.

When his mother would tell him the damsel in distress stories during bed time. She always described the ending kiss as if it were the most magical thing in the universe, with fireworks exploding and butterflies running mayhem in pits of stomachs. But you weren’t a damsel in distress and his mother’s description of a true love’s kiss didn’t do this kiss justice.

Wonwoo very much felt like he was thrown in the middle of space and was now dumbly floating around. His body felt lighter than air, but heavy at the same time. He didn’t feel fireworks nor the butterflies but he did feel the adrenaline dip in the mouth of his stomach and the strikes of lightning that raced through his veins. He felt brand new, and he was ready to give himself to you, just like he had many nights before but this time it felt different, important and special.

Maybe Wonwoo was finally releasing the lock he had around his heart, but if he didn’t know any better--and he didn’t. He was positive that what he was feeling for you in this moment of vulnerability was love.

“I want to take my time.” He whispered against your lips as your fingers toyed with the buttons of his shirt. “I want to be with you forever but I don’t know how.” He crushed the hem of your silk black shirt between his fingers. Your hands stopped their movements and you pulled away. They wandered up to his cheek, your index finger playing with the tiny sunspots that only you were able to see. He looked so small and scared and you were sure you mirrored his same expression because the grip he had on your shirt got tighter.

You had been in love once. Many lifetimes ago and they had been taken from you because of what you were. You promised yourself you would never love again and you spent years alone, until you found yourself in the odd old tavern.

For as long as you lived in the old supernatural town, you never once paid attention to that old tavern. Until one night during blue moon much like the one tonight, a little over a year ago you found yourself drawn to it. Your feet carried you there by themselves, your mind on autopilot and before you knew you were sitting in front of the bar, looking at a curious boy that resembled the prince you grew up hating, but that was impossible because he had been dead for years.

To your surprise he was the prince and he had spilled two strawberry margaritas on you ruining your new favorite shirt. You cursed him out, wondering why he wasn’t deader than dead as he apologized. He dropped everything before taking your hand in his and leading you up the rickety old stairs that led to the room above. Without a word he tore his poor excuse of a room apart until he found you a clean shirt and you put it on not after pushing him out of the room for some privacy.

If you had known that you would still keep that same shirt hidden deep in your closet you would’ve laughed because that was the first night you started to fall for him and every passing moment you were with him felt like you were being reborn again. Like a part of you didn’t die behind the flames of the burning fire as you watched your lover yell out for his life. That memory was buried deep in your mind and you had never told Wonwoo in fear that he would look at you differently. Like you weren’t his lifeline anymore, so, you kept it locked away inside of your heart just like the love you felt for him. One day you would tell him just not tonight. Tonight you wanted to keep your secret and instead be with him in every way possible.

“Take your time but tonight make me yours please.”

Wonwoo didn’t tie the ropes hard enough and it made you laugh at his shaking hands as they traveled down your flushed out body. You had assured him that you had suffered through worse than the burning of ropes against your skin. But he paid no attention to your statement as he finished his second and final loop on your bedpost.

He kissed his way down your body slowly, giving extra love the parts he knew would have you unraveling in no time.

This was one of the things you loved most about him, instead of getting what he wanted and leaving. He took his time getting to know your wants and needs. You’ve had many lovers in the past and none of them had felt nor treated you the way Wonwoo did.

With love.

“You feel so warm already.” He whispered against the skin of your stomach, slowly getting closer to where you wanted him most. His hands squeezed your thigh and prided them open as he kissed his way further down, hovering his mouth against your clothed core.

You whimpered, tugging at his roots in attempts to bring him closer, “Please Wonwoo please.” You let out an exasperated breath. “I need you close.”

Wonwoo smirked leaving an open mouthed kiss against your core, savoring your honeyduke sweetness that seeped through your panties. Your grip on his hair got tighter as he continued to tease you. Kissing you and humming like he was tasting his last meal. He lapped up once more groaning before hooking his thumbs against the waistband of your panties and pulled them down, sitting down on his knees and throwing them somewhere in your room, joining your already discarded clothes.

The coolness of the wind coming in from your open window made the goosebumps rise against your soft skin. Wonwoo sucked in a breath as he took in how wet you were and for him.

No matter how many times he found himself in this position, your body's reaction to him always left him floored. “Take a picture, it will last longer.” You joked, placing your leg against his shoulder and pulling him down towards you again. Catching him off guard, just like you always did.

“One day I will and then I won’t stop and by the end of it all, I’ll have my own private collection.” He winked laying down in between your legs again. He kissed up your thighs alternating between the two, taking his sweet time like he always did.

“I bet you’d like that...f-fuck.” Wonwoo lapped up your entrance and wrapped his perfect lips around your clit. He closed his eyes savoring your taste, his blunt nails digging into the skin of your thighs.

“Y-Your mouth was—ahh, your mouth was made from the h-heavens.” You arched your back, pushing his head closer with your legs entrapping him. Your hands grabbing on the ropes as you felt your orgasm approach.

A throaty groan fell out of his mouth, sending the vibration up your clit and through your body. The knot in your stomach starting to get tighter. Wonwoo’s index and middle finger swirls around in your pussy. Bathing in the wetness before he slowly inserts them. He always knew you were warm inside but today it felt like you were on fire and he couldn’t wait to devour you further.

He hums happily pulling away and sits up, your leg falling from his shoulder making you whine at the loss of his mouth. “Patience baby I’ll give you everything you want tonight.” He assures before pushing his fingers in even further, your heat entrapping him.

“Ah, f-fuck this feels better than my charms.

“You have sex charms?” He poses curiously. You were a book full of fairytales and he couldn’t wait to read you front in back until the last day of his life.

“I have charms for a lot of things.” You throw your head back in pleasure as he lets his fingers take control. “I-I can show them to you one day.” You let out a breath as you felt your orgasm nearing.

“Why not now?” He brought his thumb onto your clit and started rubbing figure eights circumoniously, while his fingers pistoned into you. If anyone were to ask him what his favorite pastime was he would cheekily answer that it was you falling apart because of him.

“Don’t need them...you make me cum.” You arched your back and pulled on your ropes as your orgasm flooded over you. You moaned Wonwoo’s name like an old incantation in your book of spells as he continued to help you ride out your orgasm.

You always looked beautiful to Wonwoo, like a goddess or an angel sent from above. But the way you looked when you fell apart underneath him, was breathtaking and he wanted to remember it forever.

“Did that feel good?” He takes his fingers out, his palm rubbing soothing circles against your thigh as he brings them up to his lips. Your spent pussy clenched over nothing as you watched him, eyes locked with yours savoring you.

You nod, “It was orgasmic.” You joked. Your weak attempt of a pun makes him laugh. You freed yourself from his poor attempt at binding you to the bed and sat up. Wonwoo watched you dreamily as you wrapped your arms around his neck planting a soft kiss to his wet lips.

“Make me cum again my prince.”

“I’ll make you cum until first light.”

Wonwoo kept true to his word, pulling four more orgasms from you. Each one more intense than the other and you found yourself craving for more, but he had stopped sensing your exhaustion.

He had been right earlier that night in the forest. You were strongest on Hallows Eve and underneath a blue moon, but when it came to Wonwoo you were weak. You didn’t mind it because it was to someone who would without a doubt catch you if you fell hard.

You had read it in his cards the first and only time you drew them for him. You didn’t voice it because his face when you had exposed his kinks was priceless. And because you feared that if you did you would lose him before you could tell him how you felt about him. You weren’t sure when you would but if he kept looking at you and holding you like you were his entire universe. You would without a doubt forget your fears and confess.

“I love you.” Wonwoo’s eyes got wide as he brought his hands up to his mouth covering it. “Sorry I—I fuck I-“

“I love you.” You copied his actions. The two of you letting the silence overcome your ragged breaths. Until he laughed, making you laugh as well. You grabbed his hand and brought it close to your body.

It was unbelievable how afraid the two of you had been when the two of you had unknowingly fallen for each other long ago. Wonwoo sat up on his elbows and moved so he was hovering over you again. “I’ve never once loved, and I’m sure I love you more than anything in this world.” He pecked your lips repeatedly before laying half of his body on yours carefully and putting his head against your chest humming happily.

“I once loved but I didn’t love them the way I love you Wonwoo.”

“That must mean I’m special princess.”

You rolled your eyes, your hands coming up to his shoulders and kneading out the tension that had formed over years of unnecessary stress. “Not a princess...but you’re more than special.”

“In my eyes you’ll always be my princess.” He left a chaste kiss against your collar bone. “But you’re more than special to me too baby, and since we’ve established that can you tell me what’s been bothering you all night.”

“Nothing’s bothering me, why are you asking?”

“You didn’t drink tonight and back when we were walking home you were spaced out half of the time.” He traced a finger up your side teasingly.

You sighed and stopped massaging his shoulders. He was right you had been distracted for half the night wondering how you should tell him the last secret you had. This one you couldn’t keep hidden away because it involved him and his biggest heartbreak.

“I drew a card from my deck this morning.”

He hummed and lifted his head, his eyebrows knitting together, “What was it, anything bad?”

You bit your lip, knitting your fingers into his hair. “The Empress, sometimes I read her as a fertility card an-“

“You’re pregnant?” Wonwoo sat up, your hand falling onto his chest. You giggled, shaking your head profusely. Your contraception charms were safer than any kind of contraception out there.

“God no Wonwoo, not now, but you told me your mom loved peonies right?”

“Yeah, the palace was always filled with them.”

“Okay well for days I’ve been seeing peonies pop up randomly around this place and I just thought it was a coincidence. When I drew my card this morning, The Empress was surrounded by peonies, but I really didn’t think anything of it. When I entered the tavern last night there were peonies in the flowerbed growing. And now that I think about it they were there too the night I met you.”

“What are you saying, that my mom is here somehow?” His voice was filled with hope and you tried hard not to cringe at the sound. The thought had crossed your mind a few times but you always had to remember that even though the supernatural existed peacefully in this world. That rule didn’t apply to the dead, they had strict rules on their side of the realm. If his mom was making an attempt to contact him he was sacrificing her chances at reincarnation.

“I’m saying that maybe your mom didn’t tell you who she really was.”

“Are you saying she was a witch like you?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt comfort. Everything about his childhood made sense. The random peonies that would appear in the garden during the mid of winter. The stories that didn’t feel like stories but more like memories. And her sudden death. He wasn’t sure if his father had known or if he had found out that morning, but whatever the case was he was positive that she had sent you to him. His greatest and last gift to him from her and had never felt more at peace.

“Yes.”

[bard-llama]

WiP List (all unpublished)

So, I am 2 fics away from having published 100 fics for the Witcher game ‘verse! And I feel like my 100th fic should be special, so uh... vote on which WiP you’d like me to prioritize, I guess?

Putting the WiPs under a cut because... there’s a lot.

Forgive my working titles pls. I do not try hard with them.

Mostly Porny Fics

Piss fic - Iorveth gets a blowjob before he can mention that he could stand to use the chamber pot. After he comes over Roche’s face, Roche refuses to move - so Iorveth pisses on his crotch.

Cum Dumpster Roche - Emhyr sends Roche to an ‘elven peace conference’ which turns out to actually be an elven ritual involving a gangbang. Where he’s the ‘sacrifice’. He is surprisingly okay with this.

Possessiveness - this one actually could have the beginning published if I can think of a title. It’s essentially about Iorveth feeling very proprietary over HIS dh’oine and Roche... kind of liking that. Also scent marking during their second ever meeting lmao

Dream: Pleasure Slave - Roche has dreams about Iorveth where his only purpose is to bring Iorveth pleasure and show off how good he is for Iorveth.

Roche wears a collar - Iorveth really, really wants to see Roche in his collar, but he knows that will never happen. Doesn’t stop him from custom making a collar just for Roche - and then, serendipidously, he captures Roche and gets to put it on him. But surely Roche isn’t STILL wearing it... right? (he totes is)

Tonguefucking the dick - the premise here is that Foltest really liked stretching Roche as far as he could. Which has left Roche with holes that are... not able to go back to ‘normal’. Iorveth just wants to know when he can suck Roche’s cock.

Beltane - started the day after Beltane, because I’m me. This is an established relationship fic where Iorveth wants to celebrate with Roche - so he brings Roche to an elven ceremony. He forgets to mention the whole getting married and fucking in public bit tho.

Foltest Shows Off His Whore (And Iorveth Steals Him) - the Scoia’tael come to Vizima to negotiate a peace treaty. As a show of power, Foltest has Roche serving as his cockwarmer, completely naked. Iorveth cannot take his eyes off of Roche and when Foltest offers his whore to them... well, how can he refuse?

Cock worship - aka Iorveth is a lil obsessed with Roche’s dick. Haven’t actually decided if this is gonna be a slow burn with relationship development or go straight into porn. So uh... opinions requested?

Mersquid Iorveth Porny Porn - When Iorveth isn’t present during a fight, Roche goes to the cove where they’ve been secretly meeting and teaching each other shit. Only to find Iorveth in heat. Obviously he can’t just leave his enemy, so...

Oblivious Roche - Iorveth is trying VERY, very hard to woo Roche, but the idiot is absolutely oblivious to these things. So Iorveth decides to get naked with candles and rose petals around and wait for Roche to come and finally take him. Roche is just very, very confused.

Old Men in Vergen - Roche, exhausted from training his soldiers in Velen, goes to Vergen to rest and recover with his lover. Iorveth just wants Roche to fucking eat a real meal before they bone until they can’t anymore.

Sequel to Never Have I Ever - Iorveth decides that Roche’s drunken confessions deserve reciprocity. 

Iorveth Gangbang - Roche manages a scene where Iorveth is tied up in the Blue Stripes camp and they take him apart.

Post-coital after first time - post-W2, Iorveth has decided to start over in a town where he’s a little less notorious. When he decides to stop by the tavern, he happens to discover Roche, drunk off his ass. Obviously this leads to dares and blowjobs.

Hands - Iorveth and Geralt have a thing for Roche’s hands and spend a lot of time oogling and fantacisizng about them. Roche discovers this when he ‘accidentally’ walks in on Iorveth fingering Geralt in Corvo Bianco.

Post-coital smoke - Iorveth admires his lover while smoking after a number of sessions. Then Roche steals his pipe and they start a new session.

Wrestling for Who Tops - Iorveth and Roche are at a fancy party and duck out in to the garden for some fun. Featuring plugs, breathplay, and dirty talk.

Impact Play - established relationship, Iorveth ties Roche up to have fun with him.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes - In Witcher 2, Iorveth accompanies Geralt to find a harpy dream powerful enough to save Saskia. They accidentally end up witnessing Roche’s dream - where he is DP’d by Geralt and Iorveth. Then they work on making it come true.

Private Time - Roche masturbates and fantacizes about Iorveth and Geralt.

Inexperienced Iorveth - PWP where Roche instructs Iorveth on how to get him off. Iorveth mostly follows the instructions... with a few additions.

Iorveth tittyfucking Roche - p much what it sounds like. Iorveth has a fascination with Roche’s chest. Roche is more than okay with this.

Want Me To Sit In Your Lap? - based on Geralt literally saying this to Roche 2 seconds after meeting him, this fic is post-W2 where Geralt DOES sit in Roche’s lap (and on his cock) while Triss and Ves get to know each other.

Foltest/Roche –> Iorveth/Roche - this is a fic I’m writing with @multifangirl69 where Foltest ties Roche up until he’s immobile, then fucks him. Then the Scoia’tael attack and Foltest and his guard end up retreating... without Roche. So Iorveth walks into the King’s tent to find Roche tied up and ready to be fucked.

Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain - the magic of the forest is feeling playful and teases Iorveth with the idea of being filled all day long. So when he finally gets to meet up with Roche, he’s eager to get filled - and the magic of the forest has a nice surprise to help fill him. (the surprise is vine tentacles)

Pregnancy Prompts pron pls? - pre-pregnancy but in the same universe with trans Roche, Iorveth reflects on how much he loves his partner. And decides to show that love by sucking his dick.

Age Kink (which I may have misunderstood) - Iorveth and Roche find themselves captured and locked up together with no sign of their captor. 

Eskel/Lambert - When Eskel and Lambert get into a fight over gwent of all things, Eskel accidentally uses axii on Lambert. Lambert wants him to do it again.

5 Signs: Sex Magic - Eskel ends up demonstrating how igni can be used in sex for Lambert and Geralt. Naturally this leads to a bet on who can most effectively use all of the signs during sex.

“If we’re both in this state, we both really screwed up somewhere huh?” - Roche and Iorveth find themselves trapped in a dream world and struggle to find a way to wake up.

“You were almost dead from pushing it too far!” - Roche has a heart attack during a skirmish with the Scoia’tael. Only elven medicine is able to save him.

Plot-driven Fics

Language Aphasia/Deal with the Devil - Roche makes the mistake of wishing that he could “understand Iorveth” in the company of one Gaunter O’Dimm. Then he wakes up as Iorveth’s prisoner and for some reason, he can only understand Elder.

Life Debt AKA Iorveth is an Asshole - When Roche and his men rescue the prisoners of a slavery ring they’ve busted up, they discover one elf has been... pretty badly treated. Somehow this leads to Iorveth learning to walk with arm braces and hanging out in the Temerian camp in Velen, criticizing Roche’s training techniques.

Firebreathing - PT knows how to breathe fire. Iorveth is NOT prepared to discover that humanity has these skills and the idiocy to actually use them.

Sequel to A Heart’s Fire - Cerys is sick of Iorveth’s moping so she comes up with a business reason to go to Hindersfjall, where Roche is visiting Shorty’s family.

Wedding Buddies - Roche’s mom makes him accompany her to a wedding that happens to be for a close friend who is an elf. Roche was definitely not expecting to run into Iorveth here of all places. 

Angst: Sex Object Roche - Iorveth notices that whenever they flirt, Roche backs off and then hurts himself afterwards. Iorveth is not okay with this and refuses to be a blade for Roche to cut himself against.

Midwinter Feast - Foltest treats with a nonhuman delegation while they are all locked inside the palace for the 7 day feast. Iorveth is one of the representatives and decides to have fun messing with Roche.

Solstice Feast - okay, this was actually supposed to be an xmas present for @lutes-and-dandelions​, but uh... I got stuck. But this fic and its sequel are post-W3 where Emhyr hosts a big Solstice Feast and Roche and Iorveth end up ducking out and doing their own thing. Namely: drinking.

Lily Preserved in Amber - the premise is that in an elven coming of age ceremony, Iorveth finds ‘a sign of what’s to come’ in the form of a lily preserved in amber. Later, he realizes that this represents Roche.

Based on @moonlights-ordinance‘s art - Working under Nilfgaard, Iorveth and Roche have THE most uncomfortable desk chairs, ones with no backs. This eventually leads to them using each other as back rests and, of course, cuddling.

Roche’s Scars - this is a 6-part fic all about Roche’s scars: how he gets them, why he hides them, how he (and Iorveth) learn to accept them. Plus some scar worship, of course.

Casefic/Undercover Dubious Consent - In order to break up a slavery ring, Iorveth goes undercover as Roche’s ‘pet’. This requires them trusting each other an awful lot and also, Iorveth is a little worried about how much he likes wearing Roche’s collar.

Sequel to Red is the Rose - as Iorveth and Roche journey to Kaer Morhen to help Geralt, they slowly figure out how their relationship works - and how to move it forward.

Curse Breaking - Roche finds Iorveth in an abandoned Scoia’tael camp, slowly dying from a curse. Roche manages to cure Iorveth and then decides to help Iorveth rescue the rest of his Scoia’tael from a mage. With a little help from Triss, of course.

Bloodplay - Roche begins to hunt the Scoia’tael and has a very strangely arousing encounter with Iorveth.

Fake Relationship - Iorveth and Roche team up to investigate a couple’s resort where both Temerian soldiers and Scoia’tael have gone missing.

An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it - Roche dreams of Iorveth watching over him in his sleep.

An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose - when a mine collapses in Vergen, Roche is thought dead for a period of time until he is rescued. Iorveth knows they’ve always agreed not to pursue anything with their flirting, but he HAS to know that Roche is okay.

Heavy Be The Head - Roche is stuck running Temeria post-W3 and he despises it more than anything. Fortunately, Iorveth shows up with a proposition: to go kill war criminals together. How can Roche say no?

Pre-W2 Ambassadorial AU - Temeria welcomes the first elven ambassador in a long, long time. Triss decides to be friendly and drags Roche along for the ride. 

Stubbornness and Self Care - The Scoia’tael come to Vizima to negotiate a treaty with King Foltest. Iorveth is trying very, very hard to represent his people, but his migraine is unbelievably bad. Fortunately, Roche manages to convince him to rest and have someone else stand in for him.

Pregnancy Prompts Iorveth tells everyone - Iorveth is very, very excited to be trying for a baby and tells LITERALLY everyone he can.

Pregnancy Prompts Philippa POV - post-W2, Philippa decides to return to Vergen and try her luck. Saskia decides to give her a second chance, which many, many people disapprove of.

Temerian Civil War (A Single Spark) - when Foltest sets Iorveth’s forest on fire, he creates a scism in Temerian politics. Suddenly, three factions are vying for control: the Loyalists, the Pragmatists, and the Unified Temerians. 

Identity Porn - As the Scoia’tael begin to emerge as a threat, Roche is sent to investigate them. This leads to meeting an elf in the Flotsam inn and starting a relationship with him. Except neither know who the other really is.

Letters - Roche is running Temeria and hating it when he starts receiving letters from Iorveth. He has no way to send letters in return, but he finds he enjoys seeing Iorveth’s thoughts and ramblings as the elf turns into a street musician.

Dijkstra + Roche 1 - Dijkstra notices how fucked up the dynamic between Foltest and Roche is and is reminded of his own history with Vizimir. Then he decides to teach his Temerian counterpart some self-respect.

Dijkstra + Roche 2 - Roche is captured by Redania as an unnamed spy. He’s caught Dijkstra’s attention because he hasn’t told them anything at all, not even his name. They only know he’s Temerian because of his tattoos. So Dijkstra decides that the way to break this man is through converstaions, over which they slowly develop a grudging respect for each other.

Holy shit. This is not even all of my WiPs, guys. What the fuck am I doing!??!

Anyway, please let me know: which 2 fics should I prioritize working on so that they can be published to hit that 100 round number?

[kyn19]

1 through 70, thanks.

Haha tall order, but I got you! All answers under the cut, to spare people’s dashes lmao

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yes, my mom and I are close friends.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

I’ve said it to several of my friends today lol including @backwardswriter and @annamholla

03: Do you regret anything?

Pfft of course. I have nightly mental flashcards of my missteps forcibly played in my mind #anxiety

04: Are you insecure?

you betcha

05: What is your relationship status?

untethered

06: How do you want to die?

Ideally frozen, so that nothing oozes or rots

07: What did you last eat?

Does coffee count?

08: Played any sports?

I played soccer for the first half of my life, but both my body and I are extremely unathletic lmao

09: Do you bite your nails?

Unfortunately yes

10: When was your last physical fight?

Any time I spend time with my brother

11: Do you like someone?

I assume this means romantically, so that’s a hard no. #aromantic

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

bahahaha hell yea. I think the longest I’ve gone without sleep is 3 days straight?

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Oh definitely, so so sooooo many people. Have you seen that orange Jabba that claims to lead my country? #NotMyPresident

14: Do you miss someone?

Some friends and many dogs.

15: Have any pets?

Yes, I have a fur-daughter that lives with my grandparents :3

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Hungry lol

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Yeah, but honestly I try not to bc I’m really germophobic

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Deathly :(

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Oh hells yeah. Ya girl wanna be a pirate!!!

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

That person’s apartment

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Berry picking!!!! (weather permitting)

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Fuck no 

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Yes, I have standard ear piercings and (sadly now closed, but intending to get repierced) both nipples.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

My best subjects in grade school were English and Art. In college, probably my craft classes (I was a Writing major).

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

No, they’re in the past for a reason.

26: What are you craving right now?

Jamaican jerk chicken

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Lol yeah

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Twice

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes, but I feel like the phrasing of this question insinuates that I made them cry because of something mean or wrong that I did, which was not the case.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Racists ofc

31: Does somebody love you?

Yes I am very loved by my family & friends! (again, no romo)

32: What is your favourite color?

Black, followed closely by pink

33: Do you have trust issues?

lmao def

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I don’t remember my dream from last night, but the night before had lots of car chases in it

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My grandma. We both angry-cried after 1.5 hrs of trying to educate my grandfather about racial discrimination in America. It was like talking to a brick wall of ego and privilege.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Yes, but with time I usually take it back.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

ooooo that’s a good and tough question. I think it’s easier to forgive. That being said, I would not say that I’m a forgiving person. Nor do I think it should be doled out easily, but I know forgiveness is a deeply personal matter. My whole philosophy on it is “even if you forgive, never forget.”

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

lmao not by a long shot. 2020 is wild bro

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

If we’re including VERY first kiss, even like as a little kid, then 4. If we’re talking like post-puberty, then 14.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

No, I do not like being nude.

51: Favourite food?

Horrible question. I don’t trust anyone who has a definitive answer to this. That being said, whenever people ask me, I just say cake or bread to make conversation easier.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

No, not really. I think a lot of things do, but definitely not everything or even most things.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Watched Eleanor Neale videos on YouTube (everyone should check her out if you like true crime; I’m obsessed with her, she’s been my nightly ritual for like a month now) #EleanorNeale

54: Is cheating ever okay?

(Again I’m assuming this is meant about romantic relationships) Unpopular opinion: I think revenge cheating is okay. Like, if your partner cheats on you, then I think you’re totally justified to cheat on them back. Outside of that, absolutely not.

55: Are you mean?

Ha honestly yeah. Like 50% of the time I am sweet as pie [insert gif of John Mulaney quote “You could spill hot soup on me and I’d probably apologize to you”], but the other 50% is just utterly Bitch

56: How many people have you fist fought?

I’ve slapped a few people and I regularly beat up my brother, but I’ve never been in a legit fistfight

57: Do you believe in true love?

lmao no

58: Favourite weather?

Just picture any Autumn day and you got it

59: Do you like the snow?

Yes! Very beautiful and honestly should be the only reason it’s that fuckin cold outside

60: Do you wanna get married?

As many of my friends know, I would marry any of them in a heartbeat for the tax benefits, the wedding, or other legal rule bending. But again, never in a romantic sense bc #aro

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

No I do not like it. “Babe” is great but never “baby” or worse “babygirl” 

62: What makes you happy?

Dog kisses, fresh food, media, my bffs, the pitter-patter of rain, justice, three margaritas into an evening, lots of stuff

63: Would you change your name?

Oh hells yeah. I love my name, but identity changes gets my motor running

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

No lol she hot

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Run screaming for the hills and have a funeral for our friendship

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Totes :)

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My grandfather. Again, more brick-wall talks.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Either my mom or my roomfriend @backwardswriter!

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Very yes (not necessarily romantic again; I think souls can be magnetized for all sorts of connections)

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Oh totes. I’m pretty much ready to throw myself on the pyre at any time lmaoo

Thanks for asks, this was fun!!

[blackkatmagic]

Tobirama/Minato Prompts

Tobirama/Minato:

·       TobiMinato, smutty hero worship?

·       Tobirama didn't die, he tried to Hiraishin to safety but his target was destroyed and he was lost in the transition somehow. Like, sent but not received if that makes sense? Fastforward and Kurama is rampaging and Kushina is dying and Minato is about to do something inadvisable but necessary, and he Hiraishins, and Tobirama appears with him at his target. Who better to reseal Kurama than him? This screws SO many evil plans!!

·       I just got slapped in the fave with Tobirama/Minato so thanks for that. Maybe a prompt of that in an au of thr reverse au? (or just plain old smut, I'm okay with that too lmao)

·       Minato has ONE job, stop Madara from believing in black Zetsu and his younger brother from dying; que Minato forgetting about everything after he sees Tobirama for the first time. Somehow he still saves the world, and gets the guy.

·       the Hiraishin’s origins are in fact paradoxical. It’s creation was a collaborative effort between Tobirama and a time-displaced Minato, who accidentally went back to the Warring Clans era while trying to recreate it based on Tobirama’s notes.

·       maybe a continuation of that minatobi porn scrap you posted (you’re my river running high) with them fucking in tobirama’s lab? since that was mentioned at the end

·       minatobi time travel au with tobirama going forward, maybe due to some Unknowkn Uzushio Fuinjutsu™️ he found. minato tries very hard to contain his massive nerd crush on Tobirama

·       MinaTobi gods/mythology au? maybe they race? maybe there's smut?

·       Tobirama/Minato AU where they’ve been married for years and both get jobs at the same company, only they’re concerned about how it might look (the inter office relationship policy was a bit unclear) so they pretend to be strangers. What they didn’t count on was their co-workers trying everything under the sun to set them up with each other and at this point it’s a bit too much fun to give up the charade

·       How about a Tobi/Mina college AU. Minato frequents the library, naturally, however now it's not just for academic purposes, as a new transfer student has made himself at home in the library and Minato is smitten. Kushina, being the helpful friend she is, proceeds to "accidently" shove him bodily over the table and into Tobirama's lap as they're passing his table.

·       Tobirama is in an accident (bc no one can read DANGER - DO NOT DISTURB on the door) and is thrown to about a week before the Kanabi Bridge mission. Minato and Kakashi are nerdy fanboys, this is the real reason for the prompt. Just the image of them squeeing (internally) about seals with Tobirama. So cute.

·       Tobirama/minato in which tobi is so very sick of people stealing his jutsu

·       How about Tobirama/Minato where Tobirama gets frustrated with a seal and just makes an entirely new one to summon a sealmaster from the future (Minato) to get future knowledge of fuinjutsu so he can finish whatever seal he was originally working on- maybe Hiraishin- or not? (and he doesn't want to ask Mito because she'd be all smug about him admitting he needs her help) but when Minato gets there, he just ends up completely fanboying over Tobirama? :D Bonus if he forgets to ask about the seal!!!

·       Tobirama/Minato bonding over teaching and exchanging stories about their respective students getting into ridiculous situations somehow? Possibly the students just being completely petulant about them talking about things that they'd agreed they'd never speak about again ("because it didn't happen, okay?!") in the background sulking?

·       Minato/Tobirama, science bros modern AU.

·       how about Tobirama/Minato ritual sex? It could be a magic au, but I also think it would be super interesting if it had something to do with seals.

·       ANBU!Minato/Hokage!Tobirama pls?

·       A young Tobirama has a mishap while inventing the hirashin and gets summoned by a young Minato. Bonus points for comically failed landing ending in a kiss or compromising position for viewers.

·       MinaTobi - fuinjutsu expetiment gone wrong seals Tobirama into [ ] until Minato unseals him

·       Tobirama/Minato, Time Travel, a group of senju have been sent to investigate activity (or rather a suspicious lack of it) near the edge of their lands and /why the hell does this hut have such complicated sealwork around it/ with impressed tobirama and awkward minato?

·       After a hirashin snafu, it only makes sense that Minato consult the creator himself, Tobirama Senju. He's stuck in that time period, after all. It's convenient, really. Falling in love with the man? Not convenient at all. Especially since it looks like his feelings might be returned. (Bonuses: [1] Hashirama is supportive! God help them all. [2] Izuna demands to know why there are so many speedy pretty people in this world to annoy him and/or make him consider a harem.)

·       Tobirama/Minato "You are too cute and volunteer at a local animal shelter, so I keep dropping by to ask you for advice on how to raise my 15 cats even though I am a renowned cat scientist"

·       TobiMina clothes on cosplay smut lmao maybe student/teacher or patient/doctor?

·       Tobirama/Minato, maybe something about them both studying in Uzushio? 

·       Okay, what about Tobirama/Minato, superhero-modern AU, first meeting, one of them is studying med and other one is a vigilante. Hero goes to prevent a big drug deal, mistakes the student as the dealer, and oh look, both police and the real dealer is now after both of them.

MinaTobi "you're pretty but i'm romantically incompetent so i ask my romantically competent best friend for tips and i really should've known better to not follow her advice" ft. Kushina

[piper-aileen-lenox]

™

ship memes!!! | accepting

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?: PiperWho threatens to leave but never actually does?: Piper, probablyWho actually keeps their word and leaves?: Mark will leave for a little while to cool off, but I don’t think he ever leaves for good.Who trashes the house?: Piper might try to start, but Roger stops her pretty fast. Do either of them get physical?: Mark would never lay a hand on her. Piper might shove his shoulder if she’s particularly angry.How often do they argue/disagree?: Not often. If they do, it’s usually over something really big.Who is the first to apologise?: Mark. Piper can hold a grudge to the end of the world.

Sex:

{ also know as, “I CAN TALK ABOUT THIS NOW!” }

Who is on top?: It’s v versatile. But I always feel like Piper might start out up there and then they switch at some point.Who is on the bottom?: See above.Who has the strangest desires?: Any kinks?: Who’s dominant in bed?: It switches, but I feel like Piper is usually the dominant one initially. And she’s bossy even if she’s not. Is head ever in the equation?: Pretty much always.If so, who is better at performing it?: Piper. But only because she’s had more experience?Ever had sex in public?: Mm. I feel like there may have been one time in the bathroom at a bar. Maybe. But both of them agreed it wasn’t that appealing. Who moans the most?: I feel like it’s Piper because I get the sense that Mark might be kind of quiet.Who leaves the most marks?: Piper? idk, we have not talked about thisWho screams the loudest?: …Piper { or roger in anguish because it’s gross and they’re loud }Who is the more experienced of the two?: Piper. Because Mark has only dated Maureen before Piper, I think?Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?: Okay, real talk. I can’t decide if their first time was making love or fucking. But I feel like it depends on their moods? I think even their more aggressive sex has a lot of underlying affection to it? Like, lots of kisses and I love yous and stuff like that. But yeah, I feel like that switches.Rough or soft?: Depends. Usually on Mark, I think. Piper doesn’t tend to do soft? But like, if Mark wants her to be gentle, he’ll let her know.How long do they usually last?: Uh. Depends. They can range from 15 minutes to like, an hour? And of course, that’s only one round. I think they could both go a while before they ran out of energy.Is protection used?: Initially, yes. Later on, no b/c the redheaded demon gets birth control and they both know they’re STD free.Does it ever get boring?: Nah. They switch up everything so often it rarely gets boring.Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?: ??? Dressing room at the Cat Scratch Club?

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?: I don’t really know if they planned on it. But Piper probably gets pregnant and they just sort of go with it.If so, how many children do your muses want/have?: None, to start with. But after they have the first one, they want a second one tbhWho is the favorite parent?: Uhhhh. Both?? I don’t know, I feel like they’re different in their parenting styles but just loves them so much??Who is the authoritative parent?: Probably MarkWho is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?: Mark is way more worried about them being sick, so he probably lets them stay home if they’re coughing more than they should. He’s really funny about it. But Piper would probably be more likely to just? Let them have a day off for no good reason.Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?: UNCLE ROGER (also Piper probably)Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?: Literally all of the Bohemians. Angel makes them all shirts with the kiddos name on them.Who goes to parent teacher interviews?: Both of them, unless one of them has something going on. But they try to both be there.Who changes the diapers?: Pretty equal. Mark is really insistent that he share the burdenWho gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?: Take turns probablyWho spends the most time with the children?: Uh??? Piper probably because I feel like she works weird hours or tends to be a stay at home?Who packs their lunch boxes?: That’s a Piper job.Who gives their children ‘the talk’?: Piper. But Mark is in charge of the puberty talk for the biological boys and Piper does the puberty talk for the kids who are biologically girls. But sex talks are Piper’s job.Who cleans up after the kids?: MarkWho worries the most?: MARK (and Piper, but Mark shows it a lot more)Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?: Roger. 

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?: BOTH OF THEMWho is the little spoon?: Usually Piper. But if Mark is having a rough day, Piper will wrap herself around him.Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?: Piper, for sure.Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?: Piper. But I could see Mark getting a little handsy if Piper leaves him hanging for too long.How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?: Until it gets too sweaty. Which can take a while depending on what time of year.Who gives the most kisses?: Uh???? I have no idea. I feel like it’s very even.What is their favourite non-sexual activity?: They just really enjoy each other’s company, so they just love being together in general. Just sitting and talking with her feet in his lap and a bottle of wine between the two of them. They just loves all the parts of being together. Where is their favourite place to cuddle?: One of their beds or the couch. I don’t know. They just love snuggling, it’s gross.Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?: PiperHow often do they get time to themselves?: Okay, I feel like they don’t normally spend a lot of time alone, but if the two of them need alone time, they’re able to tell each other and can give one another time alone.

Sleeping:

Who snores?: I don’t really think any of them do?If both do, who snores the loudest?: No one, I guess.Do they share a bed or sleep separately?: Okay, I think they normally sleep in the same bed. But like, before Piper ended up living with them, they slept in separate beds. If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?: Usually wrapped up in each other. Who talks in their sleep?: I think Piper might.What do they wear to bed?: Piper just wears one of Mark’s tee shirts and Mark wears boxers and a shirt. Are either of your muses insomniacs?: I wouldn’t say clinical or constant insomniacs. But they both definitely have trouble sleeping on occasion.Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?: Yeah, probably.Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?: All wrapped up.Who wakes up with bed hair?: PiperWho wakes up first?: MarkWho prepares breakfast in bed for the other?: This rarely happens, but probably MarkWhat is their favourite sleeping position?: They really like sleeping facing each other with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her. Their legs always end up tangled up too.Who hogs the sheets?: …PiperDo they set an alarm each night?: MarkCan a television be found in their bedroom?: lmao noWho has nightmares?: I think both of them do, but they don’t talk about it very much. But I think they both know when the other has nightmares and just sort of pulls them closer.Who has ridiculous dreams?: PiperWho sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?: Piper. For one so tiny, she can splay out her limbs real well.Who makes the bed?: They probably don’t make their bed. But Mark, if they did.What time is bed time? : Who even knows? Midnight. Later?Any routines/rituals before bed?: Piper takes her showers at night, so Mark uses that time while she’s in the bathroom to read. If she’s heading to work, she comes in to say good night and give her dumb boy kisses. And if she’s staying home, she’ll come get in bed and snuggle into her boy. Sometimes they talk before they go to bed. Sometimes they don’t/Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?: Piper.

Work:

{ this was completed under the assumption that Mark is still…doing whatever he does and Piper is doing her collection of odd jobs }

Who is the busiest?: Mark? For some reason. He’s always the busiest.Who rakes in the highest income?: Piper? But Mark if he’s working.Are any of your muses unemployed?: Mark? But only in non-parent verses. Piper might be in the verses where they have kids?Who takes the most sick days?: Piper?Who is more likely to turn up late to work?: PiperWho sucks up to their boss?: Mark? But also Piper. It’s hard to say. What are their jobs?: Piper does lots of stuff. She dances with Mimi, she waitresses, bartends, bags groceries. Whatever they need from her, she can usually be found doing. Mark is either unemployed and does filming stuff on his own. But he’s a camera operator for the local news channel in the verses that he has a job? I’m not set in this, but I feel like it’s true. Who stresses the most?: Mark. If the question is about worry, the answer is Mark by default.Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?: Kind of? Piper doesn’t hate what she does. She’s tired and she hates certain parts of her job, but I don’t think she hates them as a whole. Mark doesn’t like that he can’t help provide, but it glad he has time to work on filming and doesn’t have to worry about Buzzline. Are your muses financially stable?: Uh??? No, not particularly. Unless it’s the verse where they have kids, in which case, it’s more stable. 

Home:

Who does the washing?: It’s a joint effort. The two of them and Roger (and Mimi) all do laundry together.Who takes out the trash?: That’s a Roger job.Who does the ironing?: If you need it ironed, you’re shit out of luckWho does the cooking?: None of them can cook, but Mark does his best.Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?: ROGER (and Piper to a lesser extent)Who is messier?: Piper? Also Roger. Mark has organized chaos. The other two are just chaos. Who leaves the toilet roll empty?: RogerWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?: Piper and RogerWho forgets to flush the toilet?: Roger.Who is the prankster around the house?: I think it’s Piper and Roger, but Mark does it too if he gets dragged into it.Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?: Piper? But they don’t have a car.Who mows the lawn?: They don’t have a lawn.Who answers the telephone?: They screen and then if it’s worth answering, the nearest person picks it up.Who does the vacuuming?: They don’t have a vacuum. But they switch off who sweeps if stuff gets too gross.Who does the groceries?: I think Mark gets sent out with a list.Who takes the longest to shower?: Piper.Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?: AlwaysHow many cars do they own?: None, tbhDo they own their home or do they rent?: RENTDo they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?: Coast?Do they live in the city or in the country?: CityDo they enjoy their surroundings?: Sometimes? It depends on the day.What’s their song?: My My Kind of Girl by The RamonesWhat do they do when they’re away from each other?: They’re really big on long phone calls. So like, if they’re away from each other, they’re the annoying ones in the airport terminal on their phones who have an hour long conversation.Where did they first meet?: In their apartment building, in the lobbyHow did they first meet?: She got locked out of her apartment in her underwear lbr and they invited her to stay with them while she waited for her roommates to get back.Who spends the most money when out shopping?: Piper, probably. But mostly because of arts supplies.Who’s more likely to flash their assets?: PiperWho finds it amusing when the other trips over?: Piper because she’s an asshole.Any mental issues?: Anxiety in Mark, depression in both of them.Who’s terrified of bugs?: Neither? But neither of them are fond of them either,Who kills the spiders around the house?: Roger.Their favourite place?: I feel like there’s this little corner of some little coffee shop by their house that they like to go to. But of course, they also love the couch. And they visit Angel’s grave a fair amount too.Who pays the bills?: They don’t.Do they have any fears for their future?: All of them? But they don’t talk about them. They really don’t acknowledge the future at all until Piper gets pregnant.Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?: Mark.Who uses up all of the hot water?: Piper.Who’s the tallest?: MarkWho’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?: PiperWho wanders around in their underwear?: PiperWho sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?: PiperWhat do they tease each other about?: Everything, probably. But Mark teases her slightly less. Piper teases him for a little bit of everything. Especially him using the camera as a crutch in social situations.Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?: I’m not sure. Piper would be slightly more likely to cringe?Do they have mutual friends?: All of them, honestly.Who crushed first?: Hard to say. Mark, maybe?Any alcohol or substance related problems?: Piper has mild alcohol abuse issuesWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?: PiperWho swears the most?: Piper

[birdybirdnerd]

for the excessively detailed hc meme 1, 3, 8, 11, & 27 for the twins, and 16, 31, and 17 for domrick

HOOOOOOO BOY

okay so u sent some artsy things too n ill get those jus not now bc its Late

okay sO this got long so under the cut!!!

twins~

1. What does their bedroom look like?

okay so they shared a bedroom in scana before shit hit the fan. it was a room in master nagaos cool ass mages tower that he totally requested be built for the Aesthetic™

they didnt really do the typical your half - my half of the room thing, instead just sharing a bed and having their shit strewn everywhere. books everywhere, altars to various gods, a window u cant see out of bc its covered in plants that mofi religiously attends to. 

theres so much random shit everywhere too?? knick knacks nagao brings them from his occasional travels, weird shit kofi saw in the marketplace from that one occult vendor and bought just to creep the maids out with, coloring books, random bones, minor magical artifacts that u probably shouldnt leave lying around but hey, they dont care

but its a sort of organized chaos, that only they know. ask one of them for anything and its almost like they summon it with how fast it appears in their hand (hell for all we know they did summon it. accio underwear)

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

they certainly exercise their magical talents on a daily basis, mostly in the form of playing tricks on nagao and the tower staff. they also do training with him a couple times a week now, and he forces them to get out and do something physical at least once a week. mofi used to swim in the bordering ocean most mornings, but stopped after an encounter with a kraken almost got violent. kofi saved nem tho so everythings good (even if ve was the one to attract its attention in the first place lmao)

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

mofi has the sweet tooth to end all sweet teeth and honestly if using magic as much as ne does didnt burn so many calories who knows where ne’d be. ne doesnt care tho, even if it gets a little embarrassing when ne attacks the sweets vendors in the mornings

kofi on the other hand loves sappy romance stories. ves aro and ace and doesnt ‘secretly wish for true love’ or some such bullshit, but ves such a sap and absolutely devours romance novels like mofi does candy. ve would never let anyone know, and only has mofis silence because if ne let slip kofis a secret romantic at heart then kofi would tell the world about the time mofi accidentally ate nagaos liquor chocolate stash and fell asleep on the roof in stolen lingerie 

11. Intellectual pursuits?

books. they both love to read most kinds of books, especially books on magic. theyre also both pretty proficient at chess, courtesy of master nagao, but much prefer ‘cheating’ at it. remember that post about cheating at chess? ‘all my pawns found god and are now bishops/we overthrew the kind and made a democracy so thats a puppet ruler you just killed/all the captured soldiers dug their way out and emerged in your court’? thats them. all the fucking time. it drives nagao up the walls but he loves playing along, especially with how creative they get

27. What is their biggest regret?

mmmmmMMMMMMMGOD I WANNA SPOIL THINGS TO ANSWER THIS BUT I DONT WANNA SPOIL THINGS BC SPOILERS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay u know what?? u know fuckin what?? imma do it and yallre just gonna have to Deal

mofis is that ne trusted too much

kofis is that ve never got to say goodbye

oKAY NOW FOR DOMRICK HERE WE GO LADS LETS JUST DIVERT YALLS ATTENTION AWAY FROM T H A T

domrick!

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

his biggest long term goal would either be able to find love, or to find a permanent way to transition. theres only so much illusionary spells and testosterone potions can do; the twins may be powerful, but even combined they cant completely rewrite dwarven genes to switch doms sex

smallest before the events of the story i have no idea, but afterwards his smallest long term goal might be to get a better and less ragged outfit. hell lets just say thats from before the story too. hes vain, his clothes are shabby. i dont draw them nearly shabby enough

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

okay not really sure what this means?? he dresses himself and doesnt really have any special dressing rituals except trimming his beard now that he has one (thanks mofi for the potions btw)

but if ur asking what style he prefers just. just imagine one of those old timey medieval bards. just. imagine that. but short. and blue

31. Most prized possession?

def his lute, gifted by a long dead grandmother to a tinier dwarf years ago. she was the only one who supported his love of music instead of smithing, and she probs wouldve been the only one to support his transition too, if hed realized what was going on in his head at the time. back then he just thought he was confused so he kept quiet. hell if gramma was still alive when he came out it might not have gone so bad, shed have been on his side from the beginning and wouldve kept the other dwarves from straight up throwing him out on the street. but its a bit late for that

[dreamscript]

HEY IT ME AGAIN-- LITERALLY SAME I GOT SICK AND LIKE IM STILL COUGHING AND I WANT IT TO STOP. LIKE. RIGHT. NOW. I hope you feel better soon! I can only imagine how bad you're suffering! Make sure to get lots of rest and binge watch Naruto hehehehe// I got sick around Christmas so it's kinda just here// But yeah lol just excuse me late responses (; 7 ; ) and yas girl just embrace you're inner otaku its okay xD (i wanna re-read Naruto actually//) OMG YES PLZ I LOVE YOUR FICS AND-

{CONT} YO HOW DARE YOU WRITE THAT JUNGKOOK FIC IM SHOOKED JKSDFNKJD// LMAO IF THAT AINT ME IN ANY MATH CLASS FUKFFKFKKFKF BUT ITS OKAY YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU! There was freezing rain here a day or so ago. That was fun . u . (sobs) IF YOU COULD TWEEK MY BLOG OMG ID LOVE THAT. But the theme isn’t originally mine and I’d assume the original owner wouldn’t want the original code changed?

{CONT} IDK I wanted to change my theme for a while now // Something not endless scroll but just boxes for previews? Also I wanted a minimalistic theme based with pastel colours and black and white hehe/ ANYWAY NO NO WORRIES SOMETIMES IM JUST HERE WONDERING IF YOONGI SUED BIGHIT FOR DYING HIS HAIR TOO FREQUENTLY AND NOW HE BALD (LOL) BUT YEAH APPARENTLY THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE A COMEBACK IN FEBRUARY AND MY WALLET IS UPSET. I ALSO WANT THE NEW ARMY STICK FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL LOL

{CONT 3 xD} I’ve only read Naruto Manga so if you wanna screech with me about that lets do it ahaha/ HECK YES I WILL READ THEIR FIC- I WILL NOT STUDY JAHAJSDSDKJF Shout out to Cat and Fae too like i seriously love their fics- your Christmas series had me shooked!! Anyways I have so much work to do and so i will bother you later :) - Sakura !

IM HEALED AND BETTER NOW THANK YOU I HOPE YOU’RE FINE NOW TOO??!?! but i remember my doctor telling me once that if you’re still coughing like a month later you should get it checked out or something D:

and oh. my. god.

naruto.

LISTEN I LITERALLY CRY EVERYTIME IT MAKES ME SO EMO. I WATCHED NARUTO THE ROAD TO NINJA MOVIE LIKE TWO NIGHTS AGO AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY WATCHING HIM INTERACT WITH HIS PARENTS AND ALL LIKE D’:: highkey still hated on sasuke though

but yeah no it’s okay! i have super late responses as of late…. and it’s really only because i’ve been too emotionally spent by the end of the day or tired or busy or just “not feeling it”

idk, but i hope to get back into being more active. i miss this place. i miss interacting with others, as little of it i seem to be doing right now (guh _ _)

LOL I HAVE SO MANY SEX SCENES ALREADY PREWRITTEN OUT FOR HTE JUNGKOOK FIC AND SO NOW THAT I’VE GOT THE HARDEST PARTS DONE, IT’S JUST DOWN TO FILLING IN THE PLOT AND SUCH. aaaand that’s kinda hard too, but i think i’ll manage. hopefully.

(help)

dude it was rainy and windy and cold today and i had to go outside and the entire time i was walking/running/dying to class i was thinking a) why b) this was a Mistake

ah well in regards to your theme, usually the theme makers are okay with minor changes (sometimes major ones too) as long as you keep the credit and the changes are for personal use (as opposed to commercial use/redistribution, etc). just to be sure, you can just check their rules. they usually have that whole page/pop up or will simply include it in their theme code.

hmm what do you mean by boxes for previews? i don’t think i’ve ever seen such as thing. it sounds interesting, though. are they previews for like posts or…?

YEAH OMG I’M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE FEBRUARY IS BOTH MINE AND ALSO @taesthetes​‘ BIRTHDAY MONTH SO ITS LIKE A BIRTHDAY PRESENT WOOHOO

thank you for loving our collaboration! i’m still amazed on how quickly we got things put together and everything… honestly… cat and @zephyoongist​ are so talented i don’t know what i’m doing here :’) (or where i would be without them)

and now finally…

(for the maaaain event)…

okaY OKAY I WILL SCREECH WITH YOU ABOUT NARUTO. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. just under the cut because spoilers:

I’M SUCH AN EMOTIONAL WRECK OVER NARUTO THE ONLY BEST WAY I CAN TRULY EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AT THE MOMENT IS JUST THROUGH BULLET POINTS SO:

i love kakashi

i also love gaara. i can’t choose between the two, but lately i’ve been more biased towards kakashi. i blame it on my sister because she’s always had a thing for him

(i still love you gaara its okay my sand child)

kakashi’s backstory had me in tears… like… with obito died and he’s telling kakashi he’ll give him his sharingan (the sharingan that he’d always been talking about that would get him to hokage) to be his eye to see the future…

i just..

fucking broke down man like dude… stop… you’re killing me here… and then how kakashi really changes afterwards

(okay but listen child kakashi was savage as fuck though and it was hilarious)

(also i know it’s a filler but that one episode in which it showed guy and kakashi comparing dick sizes as kids….,,..,.

….,,..i wasn’t expecting that at all but i don’t mind the info heheheheh heh /dies)

OKAY BUT THEN RIN DIES WHY

literally if she hadn’t died a lot of the issues in naruto wouldn’t have occurred but they fucking did

no i’m not blaming her she died for a noble reason okay it just makes me really sad i’m sorry

AND FINALLY MINATO DIES TOO AND KAKASHI IS THE LAST OF HIS TEAM IM EMO

on a side note minato and kushina were cute as fuck

ANYWAYS GAARA OH MY OH MY GOD MY POOR BABY as a kid he was so cute and just wanted some friends and was out helping all those villagers and such but then his damned dad just had to go and screw those things up like STOP IT HE;S MY CHILD

even though i love those two, my favorites are actually the akatsuki

like. they hate each other but istg they secretly love each other like have you seen kakuzu and hidan’s interactions??? they tease and insult and threaten (and have killed) each other but kakuzu is actually patient with hidan’s rituals and such, and hidan will still accompany kakuzu to the collection centers

also, when he sees asuma’s guardian shinobi thing the first thing that comes to mind is kakuzu and how he’d want him for the money and he’s like u gh but like !!!

and AND when hidan at first thinks he’s accidentally killed kakuzu in his fight with shikamaru & co., he has that look of panic ooooh my god I JUST GASHUDFJSDIJASD

also hidan is just hilarious. like when they go to recruit him he’s like “who are you guys, all wearing the same clothes?? are you guys an orchestra or band or something?”

/points at kakuzu/ bet you play the bass

/points at konan/ bet the girl does vocals and keyboards

/points at itachi/ …or do you do vocals…?

and then the first thing hidan and kakuzu do to each other is kill each other

the look of utter disbelief on both of their faces

“what the–why aren’t you dead?”

“bitch that hurt–wait. why aren’t you dead?”

but anyways we can’t forget about itachi and kisame either, now can we?? like. they are actually like the only partner group that openly got along with each other, and they were sad oh my god they were sad upon realizing each other’s death’s

and idk just the way kisame says “itachi-san” does something to me

 i t a c h i

oh boy i have so much to say about this kid

but before i move on i must! address! the others!!

okay so like deidara is actually op as fuck and sometimes idk i feel like he doesnt get enough credit?? idk.

BUT LIKE LISTEN OKAY HE GOES THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS TO SEAL THE ICHIBI AKA SHUKAKU AKA GAARA’S TAILED BEAST and then immediately after decides to take on naruto (and kakashi)

AND HE ONLY HAD ONE ARM AT THE TIME HAVING JUST LOST ONE IN HIS FIGHT WITH GAARA LIKE WHAT IS THIS STAMINA AND HOW DOES HE NOT BLEED OUT THIS KID IS FUCKING AMAZING WHAT THE HELL

and he’s 19 like lol what bye

but anyways, after his “fight” he loses his other arm because kakashi and now he’s armless BUT THIS KID STILL HOLDS HIS OWN though completely on the defense AGAINST TEAM GAI LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HE’S AMAZING and then he manages to create a bomb without using any sort of handseals and fools them all into thinking he’s dead

like

i love this boy give him a metal why did he have to die so early why (yet another reason why i dislike sasuke lmfao)

black zetsu scares the fuck out of me (esp when i learned of his true past and intentions) but white zetsu!! he’s such a sweetie holy shit

I JUST REALLY LIKED THAT TIME WHEN HE BURSTS INTO THE 5 KAGE SUMMIT AND HE’S LIKE “HALLLLOOO!!!!!!” WITH THE ARMS AND EVERYTHING DAW OMG

and also unlike so many others he actually likes everyone and when he saves deidara he’s like “you’re a fun guy to be around” and then and then later when he’s talking to tobi he reveals that he’s sad that so many of the akatsuki members died like D::

let’s not forget when black zetsu called him weak (they had split in two at the time) and white zetsu just kind of D: and wilts a little like ooHH NO oo baby it’s okay it’s okay

ahem

konan is so strong… holy crap… like… her ultimate attack? with the bajillion paper explosive tags disguised as a lake?? that go off for 10 minutes? holy fuck.

yahiko’s pretty damn hot if you ask me (yes i know he’s a cadaver in the main time period but listen)

idk my favorite arc of the entire thing was pain’s invasion of konoha… like from the moment jiraiya’s message arrived to when everyone got revived…. and then kakashi almost became hokage…

it was fantastic

i think it’s mainly because it was a mystery, race against time, battle thing all in one and it was so neat i guess

also you could see everyone in the village working together, fighting their hardest, showing their potentials for like, the first time ever

um um um okay sasori mentally scarred me as a child, and now whenever i hear the rattling puppet noises i immediately think of these scary nightmares i had after watching his fight with sakura… yeah, puppets scare me a lot now

orochimaru is a creep ‘nuff said moving on

tobi! i love this alternate ego of obito/”madara” like idk he’s so jumpy and honestly it’s fucking hilarious watching him because he’s so secretly op certain people underestimate him at first (and then others overestimate him because of his association with akatsuki)

like. when he was warding off konoha from itachi vs sasuke’s fight (which i am still emo about) he was just like playing whack-a-mole with them and then he’s like lemme use this ability! frill-necked lizard!

and they all kinda stand and stare at him intensely execting something legit

but in reality that’s it. the extent of htat ability is just him hanging upside down with the cloack falling behind him to look like a frill-necked lizard

and it’s fucking hilarious

i also thought it was fucking adorable when he and deidara first confront sasuke

and the little bitch goes ahead and slices through him

literally through him

and HE MAKES THE MOST ADORABLE NOISE BEFORE FALLING FLAT ON HIS FACE GAH

but sasuke thinks that he actually killed him and sasuke’s all like “one down”

and deidara just kinda

ugh this kid

and tobi gets up and brushes himself off like wow that was rly fast!!! and sasuke just >:/

URM OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT THE AKATSUKI MEMBERS

sorry i thought i should make this clear but i lowkey highkey have this vendetta thing against sasuke like this little shit

i mean ofc i know the reason for his disillusionment really isn’t all his fault like @ itachi really?

like really when he goes back to konoha and sasuke tries to kill him… he goes and easily breaks his wrist

and he kinda just considers him for a moment like

…hm

how about i….. make his situation even worse…?

and then traps him in a genjutsu that forces him to relive their parents death for 24 hours like why the fuck this is literally all your fault

and also on a side note, fuck danzo. why the fuck did the 3rd not kill him when he was supposed to. why. all the wrong people lived for far too long.

anyways

but yeah no idk i just really don’t like sasuke after he defected and became a Vengeful Teen

AND ITACHI’S STORY MAKES ME CRY EVERY TIME HOLY SHIT IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHY DID THIS BOY HAVE TO SUFFER SO MUCH and then mess up his little brother’s psyche to the point in which he starts killing like everyone wtf

AHEM

another favorite moment arc of mine is the very beginning

like the first 15ish episodes

IRUKA SENSEI

he’s such a blessing. he’s literally one of those crucially important side characters and i appreciate him and i love him and it would’ve been nice to see more of him, but hey, that’s okay too.

(his part in the naruto road to ninja movie had me in tears. like at the end. fucking tears.)

like naruto and kakashi may be super close and stuff, but when he needs someone as a guardian, naruto turns to iruka and idk i feel that says a lot about their relationship and it makes me cry all the fucking time

um anyways yes i also love zabuza

he’s so strong and empowered

AND THAT WHOLE ARC MADE ME CRY A LOT TOO AND THE FACT THAT IT BECOMES SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY MAKES ME SO FUCKING HAPPY

i have a lot more the say probably but it’s getting late and i need to take a shower and sleep and get up early in the morning to make food so i’ll just leave it at that

(i wrote a lot i know i’m sorry)

(hope i didn’t blow you away with any spoilers D:)

[hatchibomitar]

1-70

alright this has been sitting here for like a month and im tipsy so im gonna fkin answer it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i have a great relationship with my mom!!

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my girlfriend 😊😊😊😊❤❤

03: Do you regret anything?

oh sure i do! lots of little things. that’s anxiety babey. but i don’t regret any choices that have got me to where i am today

04: Are you insecure?

it depends on the day, i am some of the time - but it’s a huge improvement from the past omg

05: What is your relationship status?

in a RELATIONSHIP with the LOVE OF MY LIFE 

06: How do you want to die?

i do Not like this question ! goodbye thot

07: What did you last eat?

salsa chicken and rice, and zucchini!!!!! and i might annihilate a pint of ice cream later

08: Played any sports?

yes omg i played soccer and lacrosse!!! i love lacrosse sm.

09: Do you bite your nails?

nope i never have! i used to rip them off though lmfao! not the whole thing!!!!! jsust bits

10: When was your last physical fight?

never lmao

11: Do you like someone?

yes

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

no oh my goodness i would literally die

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

sober kaiden might be all dramatic and say yes but white claw kaiden says No :-)

14: Do you miss someone?

yes :( i want to be Kissed!

15: Have any pets?

yA omg i have 2 cats at my mom’s house!!!!! i cannot wait until i can have my own pet

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

i’m actually feeling fgreat, it’s basically my summer break rn and usually i’d feel terrible with no strict plans of what to do, but today was so much fun. i had a great time just fuckin around. im very optimistic

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

HEHEHE oh my gosh, i don’t kiss and tell, but yes i do actually. ok so not a public bathroom but someone else’s bathroom at a party, yes, and my own bathroom, yes, and someone else’s bathroom, yes! i just love bathrooms (wow i sound so cis)

18: Are you scared of spiders?

not especially ! i am Not good at capturing them and also i cannot kill them, but i am sometimes ok with just letting them chill. ok maybe i lied. it depends

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

no 😤

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

the brit Popped Out! the last place was, the airport when i dropped my girlfriend off :(((((

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

omg well it’s still the weeknd rn? it’s sunday night. and my plans were: d&D!!!!!! and it was SO FUN!!! but next weekend, im seeing my bestie graduate college along w my other mt friends, and then on sunday i’m driving home 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Yes I Do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i ‘m not super sure, maybe 2? 1 would be fine too but also i feel like siblings are great, even tho they’re terrible at the same time. like i’d face my brother in ritual combat but i would also slap a high schooler in the face for being mean to him, yknow

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i do! i have 2 closed up ear holes. 

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

i was always great great great at english/reading/spelling! now i’m in college so like uhhh . i get to choose my subjects. so my best is photography ahah!! but i’m not bad at writing :-)

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

not desperately. sometimes i feel the urge to reconnect with old friends tho

26: What are you craving right now?

a Kiss!!!!!!

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

wait omg first i have a story. so on facebook they used to have those things where you’d answer questions, like this, in a note. i got tagged to do one so i did. let me set the scene. it was sophonmore year of high schoool. im 16. i’d broken up with my first “real” boyfriend a few months ago. so i was tagged for this shindig right.? it got to this very same question: have you ever broken someone’s heart? and i thought about this kid who i dated for 2.5 months...and i was like....well, clearly, he’s devastated we aren’t together! so i answered “Yes. Unfortunately.” ooohhhhh..... the drama.......the absolute emotion..... riveting.... who was he ? i was probably listening to jonas brothers SOS at the time.

anyway, how am i supposed to actually know ? like does sometone have to say “u broke my heart?” bc if so no one’s said that. but my last gf took the breakup v hard so maybe ? but i don’t wanna plant emotions in to anyone’s skull!

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

one of my exes sexted her friends. jury is still out on whether that counts, please lmk me know ur thots. kaelin, if ur out there, i’m so.................................happy that i haven’t spoken a word to you for 3 years. fuck off !

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes

30: What’s irritating you right now?

real quick, an update on the chocolate ice cream situtiaon. i’ve cracked open my pint, as well as another hard seltzer. i’ve also lit a candle. it’s a real production

anyway, no ! oh hahahah. sorry. thought it shaid who’s irritating you. ummm, personal stuff! but im not like mad. just personal drama

31: Does somebody love you?

lors of people do! and lots of people love You Too!!!!! you’re a delight!

32: What is your favourite color?

i LOVE yellow !!!!!!!!!!!! and blue, specifically teal! but not too dark of a teal you km,now ?

33: Do you have trust issues?

depends what im trusting them with !

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i had a nightmare that i was sabrina the teenage witch and another witch was chasing me on a rooftop trying to kill me :(

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hmmm idk actually bc it’s hbeen hard for me to cry lately :( probably maya ?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

to be honest i don’t think i’ve often had the chance to Give a second chance

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

idk man iuhhh it’s kinda hard to just literally completely forget! and mnaybe not as healthy!

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

that’s kinda premature, it’s only april!!! but i suppose may is soon. idk im not sure! maybe every year is the best year of my life :-)

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

20 bb

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

i have ANaughT

51: Favourite food?

i would give up everything for a bgagel. i also LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEE sushi! my fave roll is i think either spicy tuna w the spicy sawce or seared salmon ora spicy tuna hand roll. i fuck sushi

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

this is a hard question for me to answer bc i want to say yes but also i don’t think abuse or murder or bad things or unnecessary death happens for any reason other thna, it just does sometimes and that sucks real bad. so idk. i don’t think everything has a grand purpose. but i blieve in my life, everything that’s happened to me has in fact led me to where i am today and i’m learning and healing and growing. that being said i could do without some of the things that have happend to me!

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

read a storm of swords :00000

54: Is cheating ever okay?

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the point of cheating is it’s a breach of Trust! and that’s not okay!

55: Are you mean?

i hope not :(

56: How many people have you fist fought?

what is with u brits

57: Do you believe in true love?

depends what u mean by true love...like in fairytales? i think true love is just loving someone so much you’re willing to work on whatever you need to to keep them. not unconditional in the sense of “even if they’re mean i still love them” but unconditional in the sense of “even if u fart in front of me i don’t care, and even if you go through hardship and aren’t yourself for a while i will still love you because im with u for real”

58: Favourite weather?

SUN SUN SUN my favorite is when it’s warm out, but there are clouds to gaze at. it’s kinda humid. there’s a slight breeze. oh gosh i can’t wait for the summer :*( im currently cyring

59: Do you like the snow?

i am so fucking tired of the snow LMFAO it snows 8 months of the year here and i’m here, guess what, 8 months of the year! i fuckin hate it! go shit on someone else, clouds

60: Do you wanna get married?

YES more than anything, so much, i want to, so badly

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD I DIE I MELT

62: What makes you happy?

sunshine, late night drives, laughing so hard my stomach hurts w/ my best frineds, playing d&d, writing poetry,  thinking about how small animals’ feets are, petting my cat and making him purr, talking to my little brother about real stuff, kissing my girlfriend and seeing her smile, warm blankets when it’s cold, eating cookie dough, dancing, singing in the car, holding hands, walking in the summer and listening to my favorite podcast, talking about harry potter with my mom, playing overwatch in the summer with andy, going to council crest

the list could go on forever :-)

63: Would you change your name?

already did PAL!!!!!!!!!!!

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

only hard bc she’s not physically here rn. but no, it would be easy, beacuse she’s so kisssable

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

if you define sex by GENITALS YOU BIG BIBNCH then i don’t Have one

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

stop omg......

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

STOP OMG

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

hmmmmmmmmmm..... idk maybe jamie

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

i don’t necessarily believe that there’s 1 perfect person for everyone out there romatnically, but i believe thaere are people destined to be in your life and i believe there are people that you will click with just absolutely instantly and feel an incredibly deep connection with, whether it be romantic or not

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

kinda morbid :/

[mermaidsirennikita]

IAD Hero Power Rankings: Part Otto

I have started the Torture Island arc, and as to be expected, a surprisingly gentle hero is not quite my taste as much as the guy who's torturing everyone.

Garreth MacRieve, werewolf, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Pros: 

–invented “werewolf versus demon” basketball because he was SADS

–smells Lucia masturbating and is like WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN FIX THAT

–gets Lucia off through prison bars…. a determined man

–engages in a Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote dynamic with his heroine for a YEAR where he’s just chasing her around the globe while she crushes him with trucks and shit… he sees it as foreplay

–is actually truly the most woke werewolf hero; rightly points out to Lucia that she’s not exaaaactly being chaaaaste when he’s tearing that shit up every night even if there’s no penetration; keeps himself from going full moon crazy with magic in order to keep Lucia from being pressured into sex with him, and even when that magic breaks super holds back until she makes a conscious decision; does not do the Ritual Doggy Style Full Moon thing because he wants to look into her eeeeeeyes and ground her and even puts her on top, a KING

–catches a special new butterfly for her and names it after her leave me alone I’m crying

--"lass, I'm about to make you a widow" .... this shit works every time

--even a GOD can't make him hurt Lucia

Cons:

–does not believe that women should have jobs after they find their werewolf soulmates, but to be fair, he is completely right, why the hell would I work if I had a rich werewolf soulmate who hunts big game for me and does all the cooking and cleaning and work and shit

–is honestly big stupid about plunging into danger

–is honestly big stupid about a lot of things… plan for keeping his woman from pursuing her immortal mission was “I’ll just fuck her until she passes out and then I’ll go do big mission for her”, admirable but not flaw-free logic

–was gonna help Lachlain steal a baby

–BIG “dumb younger brother” energy

–“we’re werewolves we’re very curious and always have to solve mysteries” lmao okay Scooby Doo

2. Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

–called Sabine a “good girl” even when she’s actually being a bad girl

–is explicitly a dom

–the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

–is into spanking

–takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she’s evil and he’s all “awwww baby I don’t understand why they don’t like you :(” when she’s committed, like, war crimes… down ridiculous…

–his big comeback to his enemy is like “lmao well I’m about to make your girl’s eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK”

–has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

–I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

–met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn’t remember fucking her once until she reminded him…. I thought it was funny

–that time he went at Sabine’s tits for so long that the next day she was all “THEY HURT SO BAD” so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

–“I don’t have any fetishes!!!!” has every fetish known to man

–was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her… this is a pro… but I’m gonna pretend it’s a con

–is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

3. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

4. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

5. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

6. Murdoch Wroth, vampire, Untouchable

Pros:

—just extremely determined… his heroine can’t bear skin to skin contact? He’s gonna use an icicle as a dildo. He fucked up so bad she fled to an ice kingdom? Well, he’s gonna fucking find her

–probably the closest IaD gets to a himbo… HE WAS MORE THAN A RAKE, DAMMIT!!! HE DIED IN A WAR!!!!!!!

–I don’t think y'all get how impressive it is that he consistently hit the clit through a blanket AND fucked her to orgasm with an icicle for like a year

–is actually a very good brother

–finds out his woman maybe married another guy and goes “she’s going to be a widow” I love mess

Cons:

–I mean does bitch a lot about how sexually frustrated he is but his heroine is an ice princess who can’t stand skin to skin contact without extreme pain so……………………… I do get it blue balls kill

–will masturbate to the thought of you in the shower while you’re unconscious six feet away covered in arrow wounds… if that’s something you’re not into…

–has confidence issues because the Wroth brothers are rattled off like Nikolai: the leader! Sebastian: the brain! Conrad: the mysterious babe! Murdoch: … the slut?

(do love that the Wroth bros are the Charlie’s Angels of this series)

–bit Dani without her consent blah blah blah

7. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

8. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

9. Malkolm Slaine, demon/vampire, Demon from the Dark

Pros:

--we love a virgin hero always

--gave Carrow the heads of her enemies As A Treat

--very good at giving sensual baths

--a responsible, loving step-demon to what is admittedly an annoying child

--made Rydstrom, Nikolai, Garreth, and Myst all "YOU WANNA GO BRO???" in what was by far one of the funniest parts of the series

Cons:

--honestly a very sweet guy

--swallows toothpaste TWICE

--comes against Carrow's leg like thirty seconds after meeting her (actually a pro in terms of hilarity)

--TOO BIG, WON'T FIT (pro)

--could've been meaner, I'm not gonna lie

10. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–all but a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)

[mermaidsirennikita]

IAD Hero Power Ranking: PART SETTE

See: "I would die for Garrett MacRieve" posts.

Garreth MacRieve, werewolf, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Pros:

--invented "werewolf versus demon" basketball because he was SADS

--smells Lucia masturbating and is like WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN FIX THAT

--gets Lucia off through prison bars.... a determined man

--engages in a Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote dynamic with his heroine for a YEAR where he's just chasing her around the globe while she crushes him with trucks and shit... he sees it as foreplay

--is actually truly the most woke werewolf hero; rightly points out to Lucia that she's not exaaaactly being chaaaaste when he's tearing that shit up every night even if there's no penetration; keeps himself from going full moon crazy with magic in order to keep Lucia from being pressured into sex with him, and even when that magic breaks super holds back until she makes a conscious decision; does not do the Ritual Doggy Style Full Moon thing because he wants to look into her eeeeeeyes and ground her and even puts her on top, a KING

--catches a special new butterfly for her and names it after her leave me alone I'm crying

Cons:

--does not believe that women should have jobs after they find their werewolf soulmates, but to be fair, he is completely right, why the hell would I work if I had a rich werewolf soulmate who hunts big game for me and does all the cooking and cleaning and work and shit

--is honestly big stupid about plunging into danger

--is honestly big stupid about a lot of things... plan for keeping his woman from pursuing her immortal mission was "I'll just fuck her until she passes out and then I'll go do big mission for her", admirable but not flaw-free logic

--was gonna help Lachlain steal a baby

--BIG "dumb younger brother" energy

--"we're werewolves we're very curious and always have to solve mysteries" lmao okay Scooby Doo

2. Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

–called Sabine a “good girl” even when she’s actually being a bad girl

–is explicitly a dom

–the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

–is into spanking

–takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she’s evil and he’s all “awwww baby I don’t understand why they don’t like you :(” when she’s committed, like, war crimes… down ridiculous…

–his big comeback to his enemy is like “lmao well I’m about to make your girl’s eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK”

–has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

–I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

–met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn’t remember fucking her once until she reminded him…. I thought it was funny

–that time he went at Sabine’s tits for so long that the next day she was all “THEY HURT SO BAD” so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

–“I don’t have any fetishes!!!!” has every fetish known to man

–was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her… this is a pro… but I’m gonna pretend it’s a con

–is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

2. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

3. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

4. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

5. Murdoch Wroth, vampire, Untouchable

Pros:

—just extremely determined… his heroine can’t bear skin to skin contact? He’s gonna use an icicle as a dildo. He fucked up so bad she fled to an ice kingdom? Well, he’s gonna fucking find her

–probably the closest IaD gets to a himbo… HE WAS MORE THAN A RAKE, DAMMIT!!! HE DIED IN A WAR!!!!!!!

–I don’t think y'all get how impressive it is that he consistently hit the clit through a blanket AND fucked her to orgasm with an icicle for like a year

–is actually a very good brother

–finds out his woman maybe married another guy and goes “she’s going to be a widow” I love mess

Cons:

–I mean does bitch a lot about how sexually frustrated he is but his heroine is an ice princess who can’t stand skin to skin contact without extreme pain so……………………… I do get it blue balls kill

–will masturbate to the thought of you in the shower while you’re unconscious six feet away covered in arrow wounds… if that’s something you’re not into…

–has confidence issues because the Wroth brothers are rattled off like Nikolai: the leader! Sebastian: the brain! Conrad: the mysterious babe! Murdoch: … the slut?

(do love that the Wroth bros are the Charlie’s Angels of this series)

–bit Dani without her consent blah blah blah

6. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

6. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

7. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–basically a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)