#Anima-Z

[randomixtz]

CosmiX pt. 1 - 3

Lexi from DUH, Cathy from MystiX/Beasty Squad/ Anima-Z

Wiccy 'Nerd' from Teen-Z & Tristan (Oc) by @vlascopurplebud28

[bikewint]

Animas z vibe

#ANIMAS Z VIBE FULL#

degree, I was still checking out online what kind of new Bachelor programs were coming up, and kept track of the university landscape in general. The interest in education had been there before: even though I had just graduated with my B.A. The ECLA experience very much influenced my future academic development. It always has to be understood in a context and that is something that the liberal arts help you appreciate. It is crucially important for society in general as well as for all of us as individuals that there is no such thing as knowledge as such – knowledge that just exists in abstract as objective truth. They help you to contextualize, to see the world through someone else's eyes and find your own way of relating to different perspectives. These experiences help when it comes to making value judgments, assessing the right course of action or choosing a path in life. You think through these eternal questions against the backdrop of your life experience and learn about that of others past and present, real and imaginary. As a person, and as a member of society, you do encounter these questions time and again, throughout the rest of your life. It offers you the opportunity to engage some of the big questions in life. It was a special kind of experience… it's rather hard to summarize the value of a liberal arts education in a sentence. The approach of team-teaching and the value-based education were particularly interesting. In that respect, it was different from other institutions. We also had students from countries you wouldn't necessarily otherwise have international students from. Certainly, one of the strengths of the program was that we had around forty students from twenty countries.

#ANIMAS Z VIBE FULL#

The college was full of interesting and diverse groups of people. It was rather small and out of this world, but in a good way. My time at ECLA was a somewhat monastic experience. I joined in January 2019 to scale the business, and in January 2020 I was appointed CEO. Founded as a university spin-off in 2015 (under the name GET.ON Institut), HelloBetter is one of the leading providers of online psychological health trainings in German-speaking countries. I am currently working on a new venture in the digital mental health care space: HelloBetter. Until 2017, I was the co-founder and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of the online education start-up iversity with offices in Bernau and Berlin. In addition to that, I worked on the "New Digital Society" project in 2010/2011 as an associate of the "Stiftung Neue Verantwortung," and was also one of the initiators of the "Causa Guttenberg" blog. In 2012, I wrote a book in collaboration with Yehuda Elkana on the future of the university in the digital age. in International Relations from the Technische Universität (TU) Dresden. I hold a Dual-Master's in Public Administration from Columbia University and the Hertie School of Governance in Berlin, as well as a B.A. Currently CEO of HelloBetter I originally come from Germany and graduated from the 2006/2007 Academy Year at ECLA*.

[mainsmgmt]

Animas z vibe

ANIMAS Z VIBE UPDATE

ANIMAS Z VIBE FULL

ANIMAS Z VIBE SOFTWARE

For a list of compatible devices, please visit /dexcom-international-compatibility † The Dexcom G6 CGM transmitter can only be paired with one medical device (either a Dexcom Receiver or t:slim X2 insulin pump) and one compatible smart device (phone or tablet) at the same time. For more information, contact us on 1300 851 056. * Available for in-warranty customers as well as those not covered under their original pump warranty for a limited time. Predictive low-glucose suspend reduces hypoglycaemia in adults, adolescents, and children with type 1 diabetes in an at-home randomized crossover study: Results of the PROLOG trial. Tested up to 1 metre for 30 minutes (IPX7 rating).Ĥ. Forlenza GP, Li Z, Buckingham BA, Pinsker JE, et al. Updates only available for insulin pumps within warranty.ģ. Additional feature updates are subject to future regulatory approvals.

ANIMAS Z VIBE FULL

A full list of features can be found in the respective user guides here /resources/ġ.

ANIMAS Z VIBE SOFTWARE

Interface and features vary depending on the t:slim X2 insulin pump software version you are using. Profiles can be named individually so it’s easy to know which one to use! Plus, the t:slim X2 insulin pump is watertight, 3 so there is no need to worry about it accidentally getting wet.Ĭreate up to 6 different personal profiles, and within each profile, create up to 16 different time segments that allow individual basal rates, insulin-to-carb ratios, correction factors, and target blood glucose levels. The touchscreen is made of high grade, shatter-resistant glass. The t:slim X2 insulin pump is also ultra-strong – the aluminium case is durable and light. The t:slim X2 insulin pump’s rechargeable battery can be charged from a wall outlet, the car, a power pack or a computer without interrupting insulin delivery. All thanks to our Micro-delivery® technology and an innovative, flat insulin cartridge design. The beauty of the t:slim X2 insulin pump is that it has a slim and sleek design yet it can hold a surprisingly large amount of insulin – up to 300 units. Touchscreen technology makes the t:slim X2 insulin pump simple to learn and simple to use. The t:slim X2 insulin pump was designed to be user friendly. More information on all the features available on this pump version is available in the t:slim X2 Insulin Pump with Basal-IQ Technology Brochure here.

ANIMAS Z VIBE UPDATE

¶įrom the Basal-IQ technology update you can expect all the same features from the t:slim X2 insulin pump such as remote feature updates, slim design, rechargeable battery, durability and micro-delivery technology. The t:slim X2 insulin pump with Basal-IQ technology is compatible with the Dexcom G6 CGM System. The Basal-IQ feature helps reduce the frequency and duration of low-glucose events 4 by predicting glucose levels 30 minutes ahead and suspending insulin if they are expected to drop below 4.4 mmol/L, or if a CGM reading falls below 3.9 mmol/L. Basal-IQ Technology Software Update is available for existing users!

[occhietti]

Ho imparato a voler bene alla bizzarra anima che è in me.

Quello spirito folle, lunatico, burrascoso e sognatore.

La parte di me che qualche volta vince e molto spesso perde.

Quella "me" che vorrebbe raggiungere la luna anche solo col pensiero.

Quella sensibile, empatica, che non ha autocontrollo emozionale, che ride troppo forte e piange troppo piano.

Ho capito che mi protegge dall’equilibrio rigido che mi abita e che troppo spesso cerca di frenare le ali.

web

Images by Coleen Z

[gallusrostromegalus]

Do mermaids exist in tpof?

There's exactly one "Classic" Mermaid. A pregnant woman on the west coast of Ireland was afflicted by a curse where she'd give birth to a Lingcod instead of a human baby, but since she was carrying twins, the curse was split between them. One sister has a human head, chest and abdomen, and from her pelvic girdle on she has the powerful and beautiful tail of a Blue Lingcod. She's the current record holder for long-distance swimming, starred in several movies and holds multiple modelling contracts- but she's always been notably jealous of her sister, who has the head and chest of a Lingcod but the pelvis and legs of a human and (the source of her sister's ire) a devoted husband.

There's a few things that European sailors could have mistaken for human women while they were on long voyages, dying of syphilis and scurvy too- Dugong and Dolphins both exist in great numbers in TPOFATGIF, along with some very large Mimic Octopodes. But the most likely, or at least, most startling candidate is a creature only described in 1996- Ziphiius andersoni, or "Anderson's Beaked Whale", after the first ...semi-credible witness.

Ziphidae is a family of deep-diving whales whales known almost entirely by beached corpses, and Z. andersoni holds the peculiar title of the most and least seen member of the family. No body has ever been found to examine, but the animal is (apparently) the subject of many amateur sightings.

Like most Beaked Whales, Z. andersoni is about 13 feet long, and shaped like an extremely hydrodynamic sweet potato- a sharply tapered head, tubular body with small pectoral fins and a minimal dorsal fin, and an similarly sharply tapered tail with small fins, and a mouth with only two teeth- a pair of overdeveloped lower canine teeth that form a pair of tusks. Unlike most marine life, Z. andersoni has reverse Cryptic camouflage- where most marine animals are darkly colored on the dorsal side and pale beneath to hide from predators in the open water, Z. andersoni has a large, bright white pattern on it's back that starts at the head and runs the length of it's spine and across the tail fin, and includes both pectoral and pelvic saddle patches. between the whale's darkened and unusually anterior blowholes and the gloom of the twilight waters they inhabit, Z. andersoni's peculiar markings bear a STARTLING resemblance to a human woman with a piscene tail.

The species is named after the famed Fairy Tale Author, Hans Christen Anderson, who in 1835 saw what he described as a "Mermaid" swimming near the surface of the North Sea coast near Hanstholm, Denmark, when out in a rowboat with a cousin on a summer holiday. The Mermaid was "Ghostly pale, with large, dark eyes that stared up at us as she passed. She circled the boat thrice, seemingly regarding us with sadness, before she vanished into a cloud of sea-foam and we could not find her again." This encounter inspired him to write The Little Mermaid the following year. Despite his and his cousin's insistence that the event took place exactly as described, it was largely written off by the general public, and Anderson was discouraged from sharing it by his publisher.

In 1996, a family had a similar experience while Kayaking, save that this time the encounter took place in the sunny clear waters off Baja, Nihofornia, and the family had a video camera. A juvenile Z. andersoni approached them, circled the family a few times and even hung out under them for almost 12 minutes. This video proof sparked international interest, with dozens of other pictures, videos and oral accounts coming forward about encounters with these strangely friendly yet elusive creatures.

Most Recently, an exceptional individual, thought to be an old bull from it's size (i and scarring was seen following underwater welders as they repaired an underwater naval installation, picking off the curious squid that came to investigate the lights. The Naval Engineers have nicknamed the animal "The Duke", short for "Ducolax" on account of one of the engineers realizing there was 16-foot long, multi-ton carnivore floating just over his shoulder and (understandably) shitting himself.

[youryurigoddess]

A. Z. Fell & Co. bookshop and its statues, part 2

Welcome to the second part of my insane deep dive into Aziraphale’s world of slightly outdated decor, golden-colored trinkets, and their ostentatiously Greek (especially for a representative of an originally Judeo-Christian mythology) symbolism. As a short recap, the last installment covered six pieces in the northern and central sections of the bookshop plus a plot-important medal previously displayed on one of them, but currently left with the other bibelots on the bookseller’s desk. We’ll start right there, where we previously left off.

While a lot of the bookshop action plays out in the circle between the formerly discussed statues, its office part is especially close to Aziraphale himself. As the titular Guardian of the Eastern Gate, the angel consciously spends most of his time in this small space in the Eastern part of the bookshop, confined to his desk or reading stand. This means that the decorations of this area have more personal significance and are most probably used as daily reminders for him to keep his thoughts and priorities on track as much as provide pleasant distraction from the weary eyes.

The two windowsill figures of the Art Deco dancers from S1 were replaced by a somewhat similar set of twin statues by Ernest Rancoulet called Retour des Bois (Return from the Woods). Depicting a young woman accompanied by a putto, Aphrodite and Eros, frolicking in a dance through the woods and meadows. This bucolic fantasy with Aphrodite makes some sense when we consider how Aziraphale’s personal love story started (and will presumably end) in a garden, but let’s deep deeper into its protagonists. Or protagonist, actually, because what else can be told about Love itself?

Eros as the god of Desire is usually presented in art as a handsome young man, though in some appearances he is a boy full of mischief, ever in the company of his mother. It is usually under the guidance of Aphrodite when he employs his signature bow and arrows to make mortals and immortals alike to fall in love. His role in myths is mostly complementary, as a catalyst for other mythological figures and their stories, with the notable exception being the myth of Eros and Psyche, the story of how he met and fell in love with his wife.

In short, they are the original star-crossed lovers from entirely separate worlds who meet and fall in love by divine happenstance, only to be separated by Psyche’s family. Convinced by her sisters that her husband is, in fact, a vile winged serpent, Psyche breaks his one rule and the attempt to kill the monster leads her to falling in passionate love with him. Eros flees and Psyche wanders the Earth searching for him and succumbing to a series of impossible tasks reminding of those from the Scarborough Fair ballad or the more modern fairytale about Cinderella. She ultimately fails, but is saved by the healed Eros, granted immortality and the status of his equal, after which they can properly marry with a huge wedding banquet, a real feast of the gods.

In the Christian Middle Ages, the union of Eros and Psyche started to symbolize the temptation and fall of the human soul, driven by the sexual curiosity and lust from the Love’s domain, mirroring the original sin and the expulsion from Eden.

Oh, and their Latin names? Cupid and Anima. C+A.

We’ll get back to them in a minute.

According to unnecessary but extensive research, the two mid-century table lamps standing over the desk were most probably produced in France after another unspecified 19th century sculptor like the example above, although this particular putti design can be also found in the so called Hollywood regency style of the same time period. The putto is holding onto a cornucopia, a classical antiquity symbol of plenty, which then continues to the bulb section.

The cornucopia is an easily recognizable symbol of abundance, fertility and, to lesser extant, peace and good fortune. Since the horn is phallic-shaped, but hollow at the same time, it combines intimate imagery of both male and female character at the same time, which further ties into notions of fertility. In its role as a fertility symbol, the cornucopia is also usually associated with Demeter, whose small statue is also standing on the bookshop’s counter. Which seems like a recurring theme.

I saw multiple theories about Aziraphale’s centerpiece, but somehow the truth proved to be much less significant than previously thought. This roman soldier, possibly a centurion, driving his two horses in a highly decorated chariot is made from a marble powder resin composite and takes the most visible place in the Eastern part of the bookshop even though it’s seemingly one of the newest additions to Aziraphale’s collection — its author, Lorenzo Toni, was born in 1938 and became a sculpture master by the 1970s. 

At first glance, the parallel to the Marly Horses seems obvious and we could leave it basically at what was written recently on Crowley and Aziraphale’s dynamics. But here is where instead of commenting on the antique sculpture that seems to be the inspiration behind this piece or the many intricacies of Roman chariot racing I’ll do something completely unhinged — i.e., play my Greek philosophy card.

In the dialogue "Phaedrus ”, Plato presents the allegory of the chariot to explain the tripartite nature of the human soul or — you guessed it — psyche. The charioteer is the man’s Reason, the rational part that loves truth and knowledge, which should rule over the other parts of the soul through the use of logic. One of the horses, the white one, is man’s Spirit, a motivated part which seeks glory, honor, recognition and victory. The second horse, the black one, represents man’s Appetite — an ever so hungry part which desires food, drink, material wealth and physical intimacy.

And the fun part? This triad is established to analyze the madness of love. In a classical Greek context, that is not between a man and a woman, but erastes and eromenos:

The charioteer is filled with warmth and desire as he gazes into the eyes of the one he loves. The good horse is controlled by its sense of shame, but the bad horse, overcome with desire, does everything it can to go up to the boy and suggest to it the pleasures of sex. The bad horse eventually wears out its charioteer and partner, and drags them towards the boy; yet when the charioteer looks into the boy's face, his memory is carried back to the sight of the forms of beauty and self-control he had with the gods, and pulls back violently on the reins. As this occurs over and over, the bad horse eventually becomes obedient and finally dies of fright when seeing the boy's face, allowing the lover's soul to follow the boy in reverence and awe. The lover now pursues the boy. As he gets closer to his quarry, and the love is reciprocated, the opportunity for sexual contact again presents itself. If the lover and beloved surpass this desire they have won the "true Olympic Contests"; it is the perfect combination of human self-control and divine madness, and after death, their souls return to heaven.

And such a perfect combination of the motifs already introduced to us by the two Eros statues and the Head of the Victorious Athlete.

Aziraphale might be a titular Companion to Owls (or, to be precise, the companion to one particular Nite Owl), but he had also made sure to have at least one owl keeping him company. And of course, the owl of Athena (who was interestingly both a bird and a snake goddess) is an absolutely conclusion here as the universal symbol of wisdom and knowledge in the Western culture, but it can’t be that easy, right?

In the Bible, you'll find that owls often symbolize something unclean and forbidden, as well as desolation, loneliness, and destruction. This symbolic significance is pointed out in Leviticus 11:16-17 and Deuteronomy 14:11-17 where owls are mentioned among the birds not to be eaten. Owls were considered unclean most likely because they are predatory creatures who eat raw flesh with the blood still in it, and that was an even bigger food safety concern for the biblical nomads than to us today.

Owls are also among the wild predators that have long dwelled in the desert lands and abandoned ruins of Egypt and the Holy Land. Both Isaiah and Zephaniah speak of owls nesting in ruined wastelands to paint symbolic images of barrenness, emptiness, and utter desolation. In Psalm 102:3–6, the owl symbolizes the loneliness of the psalmist’s tortured heart:

For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers. My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food. In my distress I groan aloud and am reduced to skin and bones. I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins. I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof. All day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse. For I eat ashes as my food and mingle my drink with tears because of your great wrath, for you have taken me up and thrown me aside. My days are like the evening shadow; I wither away like grass. But you, Lord, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations.

It’s a devastating, but still beautiful piece that deals with the feeling of utter rejection, the ultimate bad breakup of the relationship between a human and their God. And this… simply didn’t happen between God and Aziraphale, not even during his Job job. The angel had always considered Her love and ineffability as a given, even when the whole Heavenly Host was against him during the Non-Apocalypse. His allegiance stayed with God, not necessarily Her angels. Which brings us yet again to the motion of Crowley as the owl.

The angel and the demon are the companions to each other's loneliness, but Aziraphale’s needs seem significantly bigger than their Arrangement that he even considered a wooden substitute protectively hovering over him 24/7. He seems to be the one who is the loneliest and most rejected.

Oh, and if you think that putting a small bronze statue of a putto with a bronze putto-shaped candleholder right behind it (visible on the filing cabinet in the bottom right corner) is already a stretch, let me show you what’s on the other side of that wall.

Just like before the bookshop fire, the famous sink in the small backroom is adorned with a perfectly kitschy white plaster sculpture of The Two Cherubs, a small part of a larger painting by Raphael (the painter, not the Archangel) titled Sistine Madonna. In the painting the Madonna, holding Christ Child and flanked by Saint Sixtus and Saint Barbara, stands on clouds before dozens of obscured putti, while two distinctive winged putti rest on their elbows beneath her. with bombastic side eyes and clearly unspoken, but very controversial thoughts about the whole scene and their role in it.

With an attitude like that, there’s no wonder that the putti have inspired some legends. According to one, the original cherubs were children of one of his models they would come in to watch. Struck by their posture, he added them to the painting exactly as he saw them. Another story says that Raphael was inspired by two street urchins looking wistfully into the window of a baker's shop.

The Germans implicitly tied this painting into a legend of their own, "Raphael's Dream." Arising in the last decades of the 18th century, the legend — which made its way into a number of stories and even a play — presents Raphael as receiving a heavenly vision that enabled him to present his divine Madonna. It is claimed the painting has stirred many viewers, and that at the sight of the canvas some were transfixed to a state of religious ecstasy akin to Stendhal Syndrome (including one of Freud's patients).

Their big, seemingly cherubic companion doesn’t seem to have a specific provenance, but what’s left of his limbs might suggest that it could be an infant Jesus as well as another putto. But honestly who knows at this point.

On the other side of the same room, right at the door leading to the big backroom, there are two lamps with Auguste Moreau’s Young Lovers, a bronze sculpture depicting a courting couple on the verge of a physical embrace, holding garlands of roses and hiding under some old vines. Which aligns perfectly with the beloved romcom trope of a rain shelter leading to sudden love realizations, as well as Crowley choosing this part of the bookshop to have a word with his angel in private and then offering his advice on anything related to human love. No wonder that the angel looked at him like that.

This statue carries with it more than one allegorical interpretation, intentional or not. Arguably the most obvious one is the myth of Eros and Psyche, one we already covered in this post. But similarly to his earlier sculpture, Eros also serves here as an allegory for nature and the return to the natural state itself. Like Adam in Eden, he's unclothed and symbolically crowned as a ruler of his domain. Psyche, enamored with his confidence, is about to take her own leap of faith as her fabric restraints fall away. One could say that she's tempted to follow him into nature, deep into the garden of love.

And with that exact thought I will leave you today, dear reader. Through this analysis we learnt many things, among them two significant facts about Aziraphale: firstly, he’s an utter and incorrigible romantic, and secondly, a hoarder. Forget Crowley’s souvenirs — the amount of this angel’s statues is something else. And it isn’t even his hyperfixation!

[himecommunism]

the former Gendarme-Z/24, now the latest platform to wield ANIMA MUNDI MANUS, Grasper of the World Soul

[fangirl39]

The Anima was what was used to turn steal Earthland humans and turn them into lacrimas so Edolas had more magic. So:

[valbellepeche]

**SPOILERS for Xenogears and all of Xenoblade except X**

I wanted to talk about how some xenoblade characters and elements (specifically the trinity processor) parallel parts of gears and saga. Beginning with xenoblade 1:

Alvis serves the role of both the Zohar and the wave existence within the story of Xenoblade 1. He is the power source for the demiurge that creates a cycle of destruction and recreation (Zanza/Deus) while also connecting with the protagonist and eventually allowing him to defeat the demiurge. The term "Monado" is directly derived from the Monad, which is the Zohar and wave existence are partially based on. At the end of the game, Alvis appears as a glowing green cross, extremely similar to how the wave existence appears in Xenogears.

The Monado III is very similar to the role of Xenogears (the gear) being the final form of the protagonists weapon after they make contact with Alvis/the wave existence. Alvis's line "I was here at the beginning, and I will proclaim the end." calls back to the bible verse which is the first thing you see in Xenogears, "I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last." In the context of Xenogears' opening scene this is associated with Deus. (More on this later)

In both stories they drive the protagonist forward to defeat the final antagonist, creating a world where people are free to live without some god, oppressive government or religious structure deciding for them. The main thing that separates Alvis and the WE is that the WE acts in order to free itself from the Zohar, whereas Alvis, as the facilitator of the world, wants it to cease stagnation. Future Redeemed recontexualizes this slightly by saying he embodied Klaus's regrets.

Xenoblade 2:

Xenoblade 2 formally introduces the trinity processor as well as the actual Zohar. Being computers linked to the Zohar, the trinity processor is similar to Xenogears' Kadomony.

The way Pyra is found resting in the Ancient Ship is a reference to when Abel awakens Elhaym in Xenogears

Elhaym was created in response to Abel's desire for a mother figure, the way blades reflect their driver could be seen as similar.

More on Logos and Pneuma in a bit.

Xenoblade 3 (Primarily Future Redeemed):

Future Redeemed is what got me thinking about all this in the first place. Given the prevalence of Ontos and that it takes two forms, as well as the other parts of the trinity processor having relevance, there's a lot to talk about.

The first form Ontos takes in Future Redeemed is Alpha. He has the appearance of Alvis, but with Zanza's wing(s) and he wields the Monado I (which is also Zanza's). Zanza's influence is an intentional contradiction with Alpha's driving force of extinguishing the past for the sake of the future, and also alludes to how he takes the role of Deus, which Zanza held in Xenoblade 1. Zanza's angelic motif is contrasted by Z symbolizing the devil. Alpha's goal is to take the life of the City to a new world, which is very similar to how Deus acted to return to Earth. This connection is made obvious with Alpha's second phase being obviously inspired by Deus's final form.

This brings the whole "I was here at the beginning, and I will proclaim the end." thing full circle, what with Deus being associated with the ALPHA and Omega verse. Additionally, Xenosaga's expy is called Omega so it all fits together nicely.

If Alpha is representative of Deus, then Na'el fills the role of Miang. Both are women who act in order to achieve the goal of Deus/Alpha. What makes Na'el different is that it's at least partially coming from her own will, whereas Miang fully takes over women's bodies.

In Xenogears, Kadomony is composed of 3 parts, the Persona, Anima, and Animus. The Persona is what created the original Elhaym alongside Miang. Na'el is connected to Ontos and parallels Miang, which leaves the final aspect of Ontos in Future Redeemed, A, to be Elhaym. A is separated from Alpha by Ghondor's desire for a future that's the best for everyone, once again being similar to how Elhaym is created. A also states that they are composed of Alvis's memories with Shulk which is a similar type of thing.

Future Redeemed states that Ontos acts as an arbiter between Logos and Pneuma, using their input to make decisions. Without the complete Trinity Processor, Ontos cannot function properly. This feels very reminiscent of Xenogears' theme of becoming whole, and also Deus needing all of its different parts to accomplish its goals. Alpha is only defeated when the powers of Pneuma and Logos (at least symbolically) come together again.

Side note: this fantastic video by PhantomHeit talks about the trinity processor and speculates that Zanza and Meyneth may have stood in for Logos and Pneuma in Xenoblade 1.

Future Redeemed establishes Pneuma and Logos as intrinsically feminine and masculine respectively, granting credence to them representing Anima and Animus. This isn't the only thing pointing to this, Malos's battle theme in Torna the Golden Country is called "Over Despair and Animus". Nia's weapon in Xenoblade 3 is called the Anima Sword, which could relate to the 2 phantom Aegis swords that float behind her or that she created the Ouroboros power which allows Matthew to access Pneuma.

In Xenogears Animus takes the form of the Gazel Ministry, antagonists who wish to obtain the Anima Relics to become complete, not unlike Malos needing Pyra/Mythra to repair his broken core.

In the climax of Future Redeemed, everything comes together, not just the Trinity Processor, but also Keves, Agnus, and even Moebius to complete the power of Ouroboros and oust Alpha and -redeem- the future if you will. Humans joining together to create a future they can live freely in is a frequently recurring theme in Xeno, and it's a fitting end for this chapter of the series.

[archetypesanalysis]

Echo's Innate Archetype

This is the third instalment of my Bad Batch analysis. This character analysis has two parts: innate archetypes and anima. I will be referring to “Gods in Everyman” by Jean Shinoda Bolen for this first part analysis.

Echo’s innate archetype is Hephaestus, or Vulcan as the Romans called him. He is the God of the Forge and serves as the craftsman and metalsmith of the Olympians. He is the least blessed and probably the least happy of the deities because he is deformed, rejected and unlucky in love. However, he is a creative genius and the only god who works.

Echo already has some Hephaestus like traits back as a Clone Cadet. In the Clone Wars episode “Clone Cadets”, Echo is part of the Domino Squad, which consists of Hevy, Cutup, Droidbait and Fives. The squad is trained by hired bounty hunters Bric and El-Les, who also have trained other clone squads like the Bravo Squad. The Domino Squad struggle to complete their training because they are headstrong and unable to work together. Bric sees them as “failures” and suggests that they should be sent to maintenance duty with 99, a deformed clone. Bric also looks down on 99, never giving him credit and seeing him as “wasting his time”.

Bric’s treatment towards the Domino Squad and 99 resembles Hera’s treatment towards Hephaestus. According to Hesiod’s version of the myth, a resentful Hera gave birth to Hephaestus asexually in a “I can do it too” retaliation, after Zeus has birthed Athena from his head and is acknowledged as her sole parent. However, Hephaestus is born with a clubfoot, unlike Athena who is perfectly formed. Humiliated, Hera rejects him and throws him off of Olympus. Mothers like Hera are those who want a baby to enhance their self-esteem – as an accomplishment, or a competitive act, or a “look what I can do” feat. If she gives birth to a baby that does not live up to her expectations, she will reject the baby for being imperfect. In “Clone Cadets”, Bric only trains the clone cadets for the money and probably to enhance his image since Commander Colt did praise him and El-Les for providing the best training to the Bravo Squad when they pass with flying colours. To Bric, the Domino Squad severely damages his ego and they become a source of humiliation. Like Hera, he rejects them for not living up to his expectations, treats them as “failures” and has already decided to send them to maintenance duty with 99, who resembles Hephaestus due to his deformity. Believing that the Domino Squad has no place to be soldiers, Bric tries to provoke Cutup into attacking him, hoping to use it as an excuse to get the squad kicked out. When that plan is unsuccessful, he goes to steal the ascension cables in hopes that the squad will fail the test.

In “Aftermath”, Tech mentions that the Bad Batch, including Echo, never pass their mental evaluation. Many fans believe that Echo never passes the test due to his trauma. Most people will assume that the trauma originates from his experiences on Skako Minor. However, Tech emphasizes the word “never”, which makes me believe that Echo’s trauma must have gone as far back as his time as a Cadet. Jean Shinoda Bolen mentions that a Hephaestus baby is likely to have his innate personality traits intensified if his early life is difficult, such as being rejected by his mother or being born into an abusive household. Since the Domino Squad is treated horribly by Bric during their cadet training, I believe the trauma is what intensifies Echo’s Hephaestus traits, causing psychological damage. This is evident when Bric scolds Echo and Hevy after he breaks up their fight, Echo responses nervously (with his head down and averted eyes) and quickly apologizes for his behaviour.

In conflict-ridden families, the Hephaestus child often takes on the role of the peacekeeper and he is extremely sensitive to the first signs of impending conflict. At the beginning of the Iliad, Hephaestus intervenes an escalating dinner table conflict between Zeus and Hera, reminding not to make Zeus angry because he will take out his anger on all of them. In “Clone Cadets”, conflict constantly arises among the members of Domino Squad as they struggle to work together, and Echo takes on the role of the family peacekeeper. He constantly reminds his teammates to follow orders and develops a habit of repeating orders, which is how he gets his name “Echo” (in Greek mythology, there is a mountain nymph named Echo who offends Hera by keeping her in lengthy conversation which gives Zeus the time to evade her. This results in Hera cursing her to only be able to repeat the last words that another person just said). He does all of these in hopes of defusing the conflict between his brothers so they can pass the test, as he does not want to disappoint Bric, who has the power to cast them out if they fail. However, being the family peacekeeper also means paying the high price for peace. To appease the instructors, Echo likely sacrifices parts of himself that may put him in danger. When Bric summons Cutup for a reprimand, he sees the nicknames the clones have given each other as a “joke”, which shows that he does not appreciate their individualities (and may actively hate it). This treatment likely causes Echo to repress his individuality as he usually does not want to be called by his nickname in the training grounds, and he is adamant in following orders like other regular clone troopers, which impairs his adaptability.

Fortunately, Echo has a few important figures in his life that ensures his Hephaestus archetype will develop positively. He and Fives get along well, and they look out for each other. Moreover, El-Les and Jedi Master Shaak Ti care about the Domino Squad and believe that they will pass the test. In addition, 99 inspires Hevy to become a good leader, and Hevy later inspires the rest of the Domino Squad, leading them to pass the test with a flair of creativity and adaptability.

After their graduation, the Domino Squad are stationed on the Rishi Station as seen in “Rookies”. The listening outpost is usually quiet, and the clones are not allowed to leave the station due to dangerous creatures like the Rishi eels. The clones have little to do except to monitor movement of ships nearby. This is where Echo gets to cultivate his Hephaestus archetype. According to Jean Shinoda Bolen, a person can cultivate the Hephaestus archetype in themselves by understanding the importance of quiet periods and learning how to entertain themselves, mainly creating something with their hands or taking up manual work. In that episode, Echo likes the quiet periods and he entertains himself by catching up on the reg manuals. In the behind-the-scenes featurette, Dave Filoni jokes that Echo's strict adherence to the regulations made him a maintenance duty clone. In real life, manuals and maintenance work are involved with machinery and physical work, which are associated with Hephaestus.

People like Hephaestus are extremely absorbed and dedicated to their life work. In medical centres, these people can routinely take on long operations without feeling tired, they seemingly live in hospitals as they continuously perfect their procedures, and they are trying new techniques or taking more lessons when they are not attending to the patients. In the creative field, these people can spend hours constructing and experimenting, doing “hands on” work to express their intense feelings. They will learn the rules first before they start breaking them. The episode “Rookies” shows how passionate and dedicated Echo is in being the best soldier as this job gives his life depth and meaning. While Hevy does arm wrestling with Cutup or Fives, or daydreams being on the front lines, Echo is being productive by reading reg manuals. Though, his introversion and intense passion are not understood by his teammates. This video by Generation Tech, specifically between 4:09 and 6:24, explains Echo’s motivation in a way that evokes the Hephaestus archetype.

Echo initially adheres to the regulations strictly until he meets Rex. He probably starts to get creative and innovative after Rex inducts him and Fives in the 501st Legion. Rex recognizes Echo’s talents and provides him the tools and skills to develop. This has helped Echo to cultivate other archetypes as helpers, which are Apollo (gives him an objective perspective), Hermes (develops his communication skills), Athena (aids in his strategic thinking) and Zeus (gives him the ambition to become an ARC Trooper). Since Clone Wars Season 7 reveals that Rex and Echo used to come up with battle plans together, this means that Rex used to teach Echo how to draw up battle plans. This work challenges Echo’s creativity and it probably gives him satisfaction every time he finishes it, which helps him to have an intimate connection with his Hephaestus archetype. In addition, Echo’s work of drawing up battle plans is most likely a hands-on work as Rex describes “Echo’s fingerprints” are all over the Separatist strategies that they use to counterattack the Republic strategies, leading him to suspect that Echo is alive.

In some versions of the myth, Aphrodite chooses Hephaestus to be her husband, and their marriage is seen as a personification of the union of craft and beauty, which gives birth to beautiful things. It is important for a Hephaestus person to be “chosen” by Aphrodite so that his love and appreciation of beauty can take on physical manifestations. Besides, Hephaestus people that are “chosen” by Aphrodite also means they can be “transformed” through positive expectations, which is called the Pygmalion effect (this is explained in my analysis of Wrecker’s anima). Throughout the Clone Wars, Echo has been “chosen” by Aphrodite, or more specifically, people with the Aphrodite consciousness. Despite he and the rest of the Domino Squad initially fail the test, El-Les has faith in them, which eventually transforms them into the finest troopers. When Bric has stolen the ascension cables that makes the test unfair to the Domino Squad, Jedi Master Shaak Ti does not stop the test as she believes that the clones will get creative during adversities, which they do. At the end of “Rookies”, Rex tells Echo and Fives that they are exactly the kind of men he needs in the 501st Legion. Echo keeps the handprint Rex has left on his armour can be interpreted as Echo sees Rex as a mentor figure that values him for who he is, and he keeps it as a reminder and as a source of encouragement. These positive expectations help Echo to heal his psychological wounds as he is affirmed and valued for being himself. This healing process is described as “reparenting Hephaestus”. With supportive mentors by his side and the development of other archetypes as helpers, Echo successfully gets promoted to ARC Trooper along with Fives. It is fortunate for Echo to receive recognition for his life work because in real life, many Hephaestus people are unsuccessful at work due to lack of opportunities and respect in a world dominated by dealmakers and investors.

After the Citadel incident, Echo is now physically crippled, severely traumatized and has a grumpier tone to his voice, resembling Hephaestus. Even though he is captured and tortured by the Techno Union, he does not let the horrific treatment destroy his spirit. It is worth noting that Hephaestus is the archetype of the crippled craftsman whose physical deformity and creativity are inseparable from their emotional wounds. These people become wounded healers as their motivation to heal comes from themselves having been wounded, and their wounds heal as they heal others. Echo is Hephaestus the craftsman and the wounded healer in the episodes “On the Wings of Keeradaks” and “Unfinished Business”. The Techno Union has given Echo cybernetic implants to gain access to his memory, and Echo uses the wounds inflicted on him to gain access to the Techno Union’s database. With this knowledge, Echo leads the Bad Batch, Anakin and Rex to escape from Wat Tambor, and later helps to bring a Republic victory on the Battle for Anaxes. Echo has been wounded by the Techno Union, and he is motivated to improve the Republic’s chances of victory since the Techno Union plays a part in helping the Separatists. After the Republic emerges victorious, Anaxes begins to heal as the Republics shipyards on the planet can start running again, and with that, Echo’s wounds begin to heal as well.

Echo already knows that it will be a challenge for him to return to the 501st Legion as he is now “more machine than man”, and the clones are unlikely to accept him since they have been fighting against droids throughout the war. Besides, with Fives gone, Echo has one less secure connection to feel belonged in the 501st Legion. The possibility of almost total rejection by the other regular clone troopers can create a deeper wound to Echo. To heal and reparent the Hephaestus within, Echo needs to have “earth” parents who appreciate him and teach him to do tangible things that require skill and physical effort, just like the myth where the two sea nymphs, Thetis and Eurynome nurture Hephaestus to become a craftsman that creates beautiful jewellery for them. Hunter is the earth parent to Echo as he recognizes Echo’s talents and offers him to join Clone Force 99, which Echo accepts.

After joining the Bad Batch, Echo has developed the skills to perform long-range attacks with his blaster and to get hands-on with his scomp link, which helps him to become “more than Hephaestus”. Of course, Echo still retains some Hephaestus like traits. In “Aftermath”, when tension between Hunter and Crosshair rises, Echo acts as the family peacekeeper by questioning why the clone troopers turn against their general Jedi Master Depa Billaba despite they have been serving her for years. His question prompts Tech to explain about the regular clones’ programming, which manages to distract Hunter while Wrecker distracts Crosshair, easing the tension between the two for now. In “Battle Scars”, Echo is the only one who stands still and attentively keeps an eye on Wrecker to wake up from his operation (high stamina is a Hephaestus trait), while Hunter, Tech and Omega are already tired out. As a positive Hephaestus, Echo teaches Omega to be consistent and dedicated to her training, guiding her to become a soldier and building up her self-esteem.

In Greek mythology, when Hephaestus refuses to leave the depths of the sea where he lives with his two surrogate mothers Thetis and Eurynome, Ares the God of War tries to forcefully drag him back to Olympus. This causes Hephaestus to respond with hostility by throwing fire at him and driving him away. However, Dionysus the God of Wine and Ecstasy keeps giving Hephaestus wine, which softens his stubbornness. In his drunken state, Dionysus is able to persuade him to accompany him on a donkey back to Olympus. Taking the myths as archetypal forces, Hephaestus people do not get along with Ares people, but they can establish strong bonds with Dionysus people. This explains why Echo is usually taken by surprise or is uncomfortable with Wrecker’s outward expressions of his emotions (but he does tolerate it because he respects Wrecker’s individuality as an Ares person). On the other hand, Hunter, who is a Dionysus man, can understand Echo’s feelings well even when Echo does not express it. In “Unfinished Business”, Hunter knows that Echo feels more at home with the Bad Batch even though Echo hides this feeling from everyone – that is why he tells Echo to find them if he feels like he does not fit in with the regular clones. By the end of “Truth and Consequences”, when Echo steps in, Hunter knows that Echo wants to leave the team and respects his decision (even reminding him to find them if he needs their help). Since Hunter makes an effort to understand Echo, I believe their friendship is stronger than we think. This may explain why Echo is Hunter’s second-in-command. Furthermore, Jean Shinoda Bolen points out that Hephaestus and Dionysus men bond over drinking together, which is something Hunter and Echo do in “Tipping Point”.

Just like some goddesses play a significant role in the myths surrounding Hephaestus, in real life, women are extremely important to a Hephaestus man. These women may care for his personal well-being, become his source of creative inspiration, help him to improve his social skills, and represent his work to other people. In “Clone Cadets”, Jedi Master Shaak Ti advises Echo and Fives to work together with the rest of Domino Squad, and permits them to retake the test, allowing them to graduate as Clone Troopers. In “Rampage”, Echo leads the Bad Batch to Cid in hopes that they can find out why a bounty hunter is after Omega. This indirectly lands them as mercenaries working for Cid, giving them a new livelihood after they refuse to work for the Empire. When the Empire starts to replace clone troopers with stormtroopers, Senator Riyo Chuchi becomes a strong supporter for the clones and assists Rex with his resistance network, in which Echo is a part of it.

Hephaestus is drawn to women who are powerful, intelligent, assertive and/or beautiful, and in the myths, these women are Aphrodite the Goddess of Love and Beauty, and Athena the Goddess of Wisdom, War and Crafts. The intensity and sensuality of an Aphrodite woman can stir up deep and passionate feelings in a Hephaestus man, inspiring his work and setting his feelings ablaze. Meanwhile, Athena, be it an archetype or a woman, can foster a Hephaestus man’s creativity and help him to make money out of his work. Senator Riyo Chuchi is an Aphrodite-Athena character as she treats the clones as actual people (Aphrodite) and she uses her power and strategy to fight for their rights (Athena). Besides, at the end of “Truth and Consequences”, she is intrigued to see Echo returning Omega’s hug and she softens at the sight of it. She helps Echo to take care of things on Coruscant, and even places her hand on his shoulder and tells him to be careful before he leaves to seek help from the Bad Batch in “Tipping Point”. Based on this analysis, I can see why some fans ship Echo with Riyo Chuchi, and they are pretty compatible.

However, Hephaestus does have some limitations. With his “out of step” introverted personality, he is likely to do something outside the norm or try to be “someone better”, which evokes laughter or ridicule from others. This causes him to act the buffoon or the clown to defuse the situation, especially when he realizes that his humiliation will get worse if he objects. In Greek mythology, the gods of Olympus laugh at Hephaestus when he awkwardly walks around the palace (due to his clubfoot) to serve them nectar. When Hephaestus catches his wife Aphrodite in bed with Ares and summons the gods to witness their infidelity, the gods roar with laughter at the sight of it rather than be outraged for him. His resignation to being the buffoon often invites bullies to pick on him, causing low self-esteem and people to lose respect on him. In “Cornered”, Echo dons a full-body disguise that makes people mistake him for a droid. The purpose is to make sure he does not stick out too much. However, his disguise kind of backfires at his self-esteem when he has to act and speak like a droid (“act the buffoon”) as Hunter sells him to a merchant for 3000 credits. It is a good thing that Echo knows his worth as he convinces Hunter to sell him for more than 2000 credits. The fact that Echo never uses this disguise again makes me believe that he wants to preserve his self-esteem, and possibly because he is still mad at Hunter for trying to sell him as a droid and at a bargain price.

Furthermore, a Hephaestus person often dislikes change because his inner direction and his bottled-up emotions means that he is not motivated by outer demands to conform and live up to other people’s standards. He becomes an outsider by his choice or other people put him on this role. After running away from the Empire, Echo still sees himself and the Bad Batch as soldiers and nothing more. He does not entertain the life as mercenaries and he thinks hiding away from the Empire is not an acceptable way of life. In “Common Ground”, Echo repeatedly voices his distaste at the idea of helping a Separatist senator because the Separatists were viewed as enemies of the Republic, and his trauma was caused by them. Hunter and Tech have to remind Echo to forget about politics and set aside his introverted emotions to get the job done. His dislike towards change is also shown in small matters like declining a drink offered by a Wookiee warrior in “Tribe”. Fortunately, his anima (which is discussed in this link) helps to balance out his Hephaestus archetype, making him receptive and open to new suggestions. This is evident at the end of “Common Ground”, when Echo realizes that he and the Separatist senator Avi Singh are not so different as the senator does not want to abandon his people and he wishes to help them. This prompts Echo to tell him to “live to fight another day”. Moreover, Echo does come around and drinks with the Wookiees by the end of “Tribe”.

Hephaestus is considered the god of subterranean fire as he uses volcanic fire for his smithery. The subterranean fire is a metaphor for passionate feelings in a deeply introverted person. People who identify as Hephaestus normally do not talk about their feelings and they prefer to express their feelings through work. This can be difficult for others to know what a Hephaestus person is feeling, and it does not help when his communications are rarely direct and explicit, causing others to try to comprehend and infer his feelings and possible reactions.

In “Spoils of War”, Hunter and Echo have an argument about what to do with Count Dooku’s war chests. Hunter wants to use the fortune to buy their freedom and find a safe place to hide as Omega deserves a life far from the war and the Empire. However, Echo wants to use the fortune to fight the Empire, saying that they are living on the run because of Omega. Even though he agrees that rescuing Omega is the right thing to do, he believes that they should be doing more as the Empire grows in power and is oppressing more people. Omega overhears the conversation and thinks that it is her fault that the Bad Batch cannot have a normal life. This prompts her to risk her life to retrieve the treasure in hopes of repaying the team for taking her in. Echo only realizes that she has misinterpreted his feelings when she tells him how his conversation with Hunter made her feel. At the end of “Ruins of War”, Echo reassures Omega that taking her in is the right choice and that the Bad Batch will do it all again, finally clearing up the misunderstanding.

Even though Echo has many facial expressions and he sometimes can be vocal about his feelings, he usually holds in or dampens down his intense emotions. There are fans who are disappointed that Echo lacks an emotional response upon hearing Fives, but I believe that deep down, Echo is grieving and boiling in rage for what has happened to him. These intense emotions, whether positive or negative, may suddenly and unexpectedly erupt like a volcanic eruption, which can surprise others. Echo has become increasingly frustrated with the Bad Batch working as mercenaries because he wants to fight the Empire as he cannot bear to turn a blind eye to the Empire’s oppressive regime. Echo’s anger, frustration and passion to do the right thing finally erupt at the end of “Truth and Consequences”, when the Bad Batch, Rex, Riyo Chuchi and Bail Organa manage to implicate Rampart for the destruction of Tipoca City, but Emperor Palpatine uses their good intention to secure the Senate’s approval for his stormtrooper programme, which will force the clones into “retirement”. This is the final straw for Echo and he decides to leave the Bad Batch, which is a sudden and unexpected action in the eyes of Omega.

It is sad to see Echo leave, but it is admirable to see his willingness and devotion to help others. Rex’s resistance network gives Echo’s post-Order 66 life the needed depth and meaning because this work allows Echo to express his love for his clone brothers and it fulfils his instincts to do the right thing. This is his life work as we see how happy and energetic Echo is when he leads a team to save Howzer and two other clones in “Tipping Point”. Echo feels intimately with his work as it is related to his own evolution and it serves as a way for him to express his psyche in tangible form. Echo has devoted his entire life as a soldier to the Republic, training to be the best and putting the objectives above all else, only to end up going through a near-death experience, becoming physically crippled and severely traumatized, betrayed by the Empire, and leading to question his new purpose. Echo knows that many clones are currently going through the same evolution as his, which is why he wants to help them. He saves his brothers like Gregor and Howzer from imprisonment, a death sentence or a fate worse than death. He turns Trace Martez’s repair shop into a refuge for the rescued clones. He gives the rescued clones a new purpose – to fight the Empire. Every time Echo provides physical and psychological healing to the clones, it heals him as well. Just like Hephaestus, Echo’s inner fire – energetic, restless and volcanically explosive – motivates him to take up arms against tyrannical masters, not as a lover of war and strife, but as a peacemaker and a natural humanitarian.

[lunarsilkscreen]

The Person other people think you are

As a child that liked cartoons, video games, and anime, I drew a lot, and a recurring moniker I would use is "Zero". Which was a common Manga/Anime protagonist name at the time.

Some Girl convinced me to change the "z" to an "x" cuz "x" is cooler. I later found out it was likely because she liked Linkin Park, who used 'Xero' as their proto-band-name.

My mother loves that Maxis game [The Sims]. And in it, one day she showed off one of her Sim Characters she had named "Xero", which was a Green Alien woman.

This isn't one of those defining moments the me, not something that "deeply confused younger me and that's why I'm trans".

At the time; I was very offended. She spent my life trying to ensure that I fit in as a normal little boy, something I deeply hated. I had to my hair short, wear boy clothes, just be a boy.

And here; in that moment--she had affirmed my gender without either of us really knowing what that meant.

People see the person you are, but sometimes... They also see the person they want you to be.

This is called the Anima (or the Animus, cuz GENDERED WORDS) the Anima includes this depiction of person the world thinks you should be; the difference between anima/Animus is feminine/masculine....so the separation doesn't matter. Just that; women tend to be stereotype under the Social Anima(expectations) and men tend to be stereotypes under the Social Animus(expectations).

If you're born a men. The Animus expectations is how people see you, and if you're born a women, the Anima is how people tend to see you.

Whatever *that* archetype covers in whatever society you live in, because societies are different.

There's a handful of other archetypes that Jung uses; The Mask(persona), The Shadow(the extra that isn't you), and the True Self(the self without the Anima, Mask, or Shadow.

The Mask is the character we play to the world. This is influenced by anima, the popular culture, our idea of the person we would like to be. But it is more like a tattoo over skin. It's cool, but it's an act.

The shadow is the darkness we cast when the light hits of us, some could call this reputation, or pre-concieved notions.

It isn't real, but it creates this character of who we are based on perceived actions and behavior.

So the Mask, Shadow, and Anima(Armor might be a better modern word) create this other person we are not really. And some people, like trans people, hide their true self behind these things.

Because all too often; our true selves are so... Dissident with societal expectations, that revealing them is akin to [ritual of life].

This isn't *only* true for trans people, but it's the easiest to deacribe.

So Jung, and by extensions; Jordan Peterson acknowledges this concept as a thing that trans people experience. despite online clips often cut to suggest that Trans people are this [Menance].

And they acknowledge it because it's a thing everybody experiences it. But here's the thing; trans people can't take of that armor. They can never take it off, that's what makes us different. Because our Armor may as well be our flesh.

And so this person, this false identity created by the combination of Mask, Armor, and Shadow; this *becomes* the person other people think we are.

And for some god forsaken reason; when it's revealed that it's not true; because it's not true for anybody. This causes a sort of grief among people who know you. Relatives, friends, acquaintances whatever.

This is the reasoning behind "Don't meet your heroes" because they are never the person you think they are. *That* person only really exists on the stage. And is fabricated by articles, PR, costumes, and a necessity to separate work from reality.

We aren't often the person we dress up as for Halloween.

When trans people come out as trans; other people have to experience this ego death from the character they've created about them in their head.

As if they were [Insert Famous Pop Idol here] and recently had several back to back sex scandals.

This is why everybody likes Miku, Miku isn't real and can't hurt you in that way...though... Her studio sure could.

Tyler Durden Voice; "You're not your height. You're not your genitals... You're not your fucking chromosomes."

[doublebond]

Odwiązanie

Była kolejna próba utrzymania "związku na gumkę".

Niestety, na drodze stanęła choroba i śmierć mojej matki. Wszystko było nie tak, jak planowałem. Żadnego szybkiego zgonu, żadnej nagłej ulgi, żadnego kamienia z serca. Po prostu smutek.

Odwołane ferie - kolejny urlop odwołany z powodu "mojej matki".

Kiedy smutek i fizyczny ból nie dawały mi spokoju, postanowiłem z dnia na dzień kupić najtańszy turnus w pierwszym lepszym sanatorium w Ciechocinku. Sam, bo ona nie mogła wziąć urlopu.

Zanim wyjechałem, spędziliśmy jeszcze noc razem, wąchając molly i siebie nawzajem. Przez depresję i stres nawet się chyba nie kochaliśmy. Ale to nie było nawet potrzebne, bo wydawało mi się, że mamy empatię. Wsparcie. Miłość.

Potem, w dniu wyjazdu, jakieś niewyraźne teksty, że "puszczę się z jakąś emerytką". Z ust kobiety, która mnie zdradziła. Być może tajemnica tej projekcji kiedyś się wyjaśni...

Minął jeden dzień. Jeden dzień. Dostałem pokrzepiającą wiadomość, że kiedy tylko wsiadłem do samochodu - ona zjadła grzyby.

"Miała bardzo klarowną wizję - dwa lata relacji ze mną były jak siedzenie z lwem w klatce".

Tak, w drugą rocznicę relacji, dwa tygodnie po stracie matki, straciłem coś, co wydawało mi się miłością życia.

Największy prezent, jaki mogłem dostać.

"Proszę spróbować zaopiekować się sobą z troski o siebie - zamiast w odwecie, że nikt inny na świecie tego nie za Pana nie zrobi."

Tak mniej więcej powiedział mój terapeuta.

Utrata, właściwie w jednej chwili, matki i przyszłej żony przypieczętowały lekcję: nikt i nic na świecie nie przyniesie mi żadnego poczucia uznania, wartości ani sensu życia.

Mam je wszystkie w sobie. Cały czas. Całą kobiecą energię, za którą tak tęsknię - mam w sobie.

Wszystkie słowa pokrzepienia, wiary, szacunku i troski - znam na pamięć.

Wszystkie dobre rady, wybory podyktowane zdrowiem i troską o siebie - mam w głowie.

Całe ciepło, bezpieczeństwo i zmysłowość - mam we własnych biodrach.

Wszystko, czego szukam w kobiecie moich marzeń - mam od dawna w sobie.

Żadna "bratnia dusza", żadna "miłość życia" - moja własna Anima. Kobieta we mnie. Pozwalam jej mówić. Zaczynam jej słuchać.

[regaliasonata]

Lupinranger VS Patranger Adaption

With Bridge, Syd and Z having the Patranger forms here I decided for the Lupin side to consist of some new characters, for blue I introduce Stitch Skullovich

Unlike Skull and Spike he's pretty calm tbh other than being creative and artsy, though like the other two lupin members he had a bad upbringing and it lead him to getting his Anima(the dial fighters names within this adaption story).

[textbye]

ANIMA spring summer 24 collection by Halo Labels

Photo: Weronika Walijewska

Model: Hannah Z Brenner

[driftward]

Research Proposal: A Conceptual Framework for the Use of Anima in Creating an Aetheric Fairy Construct Researchers: Z. Vauban, B. Ardashir, and Y’s. Rhul Reading level: Considered appropriate for those of thirteen summers and up Problem statement: The current zenith of the art of creating a stable Nymian fairy is currently based on extensive mathematics from the records of Nym, as well as painstaking equation work, extensive materials use, and moons of dedicated work to the end of creating an entity that, while sentient, shows far less capability, initiative, and flexibility than fairies that have been found and recovered from soul stones dating from the Nymian era. We are proposing the use of recent advances in anima soul gems to fashion an improved soul stone and accompanying anima spirit to hopefully bridge the gap and create an aetheric faerie construct that is more similar to those the ancient Nymian empire apparently relied upon. Notes: None

~*~

Foxglove stood stiffly at attention while Zoissette went through the equations that governed her existence, tracing them with a finger. In her other hand, she held a single, solitary little soulgem between her fingers, gently twisting it back and forth.

The idea had come to her while she had been working with Ardashir on the matter of creating anima weapons. Rowena had thought an adventurer such as herself would be interested in such a thing, and she was not wrong. But while the other adventurers were more interested in having their intelligent and adaptable weapons, Zoissette had been rather more intrigued by the anima aspect. Early experiments did not produce much fruit, but eventually, she had managed to coax an anima spirit into being.

It looked familiar. Extremely familiar, in fact. She had been reminded of the elementals that had manifested when they retrieved Y’shtola from the lifestream in Gridania. She even went back and compared her sketches of them from then to the anima spirit she had now. They were both vaguely humanoid in shape, glowing entities made of energy, with flowing wings on their backs.

Foxglove, a faerie modeled after the Nymian fairies that had been found to date, was also a small humanoid, a glowing entity made of aether, with wings on her back.

At first, Zoissette had assumed it was simply an interesting cultural lodestone of sorts. In standardizing on one form, the Nymians would be well equipped to perfect its construction, and eliminate questions rising from such, allowing them to focus their efforts and energies on other aspects of their familiars. Similar to how, in Eorzea, by far the most common familiar was the humble carbuncle. Others existed, of course, from Nixies to Poroggos and more exotic creatures, but if an adventurer was versed in the matters of summoning familiar, by and for the most part it was the carbuncle they summoned. She had just assumed the Nymians had settled on the fairy instead.

However, now she had different questions in mind. The fairies were robust aetheric constructs, and all that had been found to date, if they were functional, they were fully made to a Spoken level of sentience. Not all carbuncles necessarily were, and even the intelligent ones could vary greatly in actual capability.

And then there was Foxglove.

Foxglove had been painstakingly made by herself and Papalymo, and had been, to date, well, functional. Zoissette had simply assumed that it was merely a question of time and experience, but as moons passed into seasons, Foxglove’s ability to adapt to situations never improved, they had never shown much of a personality, and they had shown little initiative. They followed stratagems well enough, and they were competent in their support role, but only just.

Lily had been lively and opinionated and more.

And so she had considered the possibility that the Nymian fairies were not constructs of pure equation, but rather, if they had been modeled on artificial anima. The anima providing an animating and motivating force, while the equations dictated form and functionality. A marriage of two disciplines, leading to an impressive whole. An insight Papalymo and her clearly had missed, for even if the anima line of inquiry did not quite hit the mark, it was obvious that neither had the efforts that produced Foxglove in the first place.

Zoissette remembered Y’shtola’s criticisms of her work. How she only knew how to look on the outside of things, and was blind to deeper insights. Papalymo had scoffed at the time, and had accused her of making things up in seeing things that were not there, and it had started one of their arguments which Zoissette had stayed out of. Y’shtola’s criticism had stung at the time, a bit, and she did not fully understand what Y’shtola had meant.

But Y’shtola, sharp as her tongue could be, was rarely mean in spirit. Just blunt. And now Zoissette thought she may be beginning to understand. Y’shtola had been right, of course. Zoissette was good at the little details that made up facts, and was good at analyzing what was in front of her, and even could piece together the big picture a puzzle might form, but she was bad at inference and the subtexts that often pointed to deeper truths.

And the truth was, Foxglove was just a simple construct, little better than a wind-up, barely as robust as even the simplest mammet. Zoissette and Papalymo both had missed a deeper truth that lay at the heart of the Nymian art of fairy summoning.

And now it was just her here, to carry on the work alone.

The anima spirit could help her bridge the gap, she believed, but she did not want to do the work alone. Y’shtola had offered to help, after all; Zoissette’s help with Alexander in exchange for Y’shtola’s help with the anima research. While the Alexander mission had not gone exactly smoothly, and the two women’s relationship had wound up strained for much of it, in the end they had learned to bridge their differences, and their friendship had wound up all the stronger for it.

And yet, Zoissette somehow felt herself becoming more distant. Part of it, she was sure, was that she was sorely missing Papalymo. He had been her mentor, and he had helped her so much with Foxglove. She may have heard rumors that hinted that he may be alive out there somewhere, but for now he was not, and she would do well to continue to move forward in his absence. But she felt as though she would be betraying him, somehow, if she was to get help from someone for the next stage of the fairy project which they had spearheaded together.

Which was ridiculous, she knew. She could imagine him pointing high up to the letters above Idyllshire, reading aloud the Sharlayan motto of ‘knowledge seeks no man’. And she could imagine hearing his admonishment, telling her she would do well to seek knowledge, wherever it may come from, whether it was him or his fellow Archon.

And Y’shtola could possibly be great help. Zoissette well remembered Matoya’s home full of familiars, and Matoya’s comments on the anima research to date. Y’shtola was Matoya’s student, and unquestionably would have the same depth of expertise, even if not an exact match. Y’shtola could provide that deep insight that Zoissette lacked, while Zoissette provided the rigor and careful calculations that the project would demand. Each making up the weaknesses of one another, playing to their individual strengths.

But she was hesitating. Y’shtola and her had already spent plenty of time in close quarters in recent memory. Would the Archon have the patience to deal with her for the time it would take to undergo another lengthy research project? She was certain Y’shtola would not mind the slight deviation in plan from working on an anima weapons to instead working on an anima familiar. The woman relished most any intellectual challenge. But still, the work did not promise to be quick or easy, and Zoissette was finding herself hesitating at the risk of spoiling a good friendship with too much of, well, being herself.

And, if she was honest, she was not certain she wanted to risk getting closer. The future was ever uncertain, particularly for the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and adventurers like herself. All she had of her old mentor now was rumors. And a familiar. She looked over at Foxglove.

Foxglove just stood still, staring off, waiting for instructions. Always ready, never changing. Just existing, and nothing more.

Zoissette’s fingers tightened around the anima soulgem she was holding, and she made the call. Her hand went to her linkpearl, seeking Y’shtola’s frequency.

It was time to move forward once more.

[hydragirium]

Z cyklu "ANIMA SOLA", odsłona 4 Eksploracja rejestratorów obrazu i tactical misuse

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