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allthelovelywriting · 5 years

Text

Champagne Society

Rating: Explicit

Words: 4859

Author’s Note: Look you take Arthur to a bar then fuck him that’s it send tweet. And Arthur has a praise kink don’t @ me. And a breeding kink but we been knew. Trying something new out. 4K words of poorly written smut lets go.

cross-posted to ao3

Summary: Your smile is far more dubious, and you hope he accepts your offer: “Camp is a long way back from here. Maybe we could grab a room?”

The question is out, the intention is clear, the choice is his. Arthur has been respectful the entire time you’ve been together— though hesitantly nervous may be a better description. But you’re ready now; while you may sit among them here, you’re not like the “society gals” that need a ring on their finger to show their love. And that is what you feel. You’ve known it for a while now, even if you haven’t been with him that long.

The streets of Saint Denis weren’t empty, per say, but there was a certain feeling to the town as night rolled in. A sense of freedom, of secrets blanketed with the slight chill of later hours.

It was here you found yourself, pulling Arthur along as you got closer and closer to the saloon. It was one of the few places in the “civilized world” he felt anything close to comfortable, and after all he’d done for you today, you thought it nice to pay him back.

You told him so over a glass of whiskey, to which he smiled and said, “Figured it was ‘bout time to have a proper outing, you an’ me.”

You smiled too, leaning a bit closer to him. “It’s a nice change of pace, all in all.”

Arthur nods and drinks his whiskey. Not too much, just enough to calm down. You place your hand on his arm, just resting there. He tenses— tenses and then hates himself for it, but you move your thumb in calming circles. “It’s okay,” you remind him with the movement. “I understand.”

Casual touch isn’t something he’s used to, not something he’s explored too much. Introduced by you a few months prior, when you had toed the line of friends and something more, then reinforced a little after, when you crossed that line with a day-long fishing trip that ended with a kiss. A soft kiss, hesitant and soft, but caring.

Not unlike the one that you press against his cheek now, though this is less hesitant, more teasing. Flirting.

The richer folk of Saint Denis pay little mind to the two of you and maybe that’s the reason he feels confident enough to take the hand you haven’t moved to his lips, kissing the back of it in an imitation of a scene in the moving picture you saw that day.

You giggle at the gesture and Arthur’s blue eyes seem to shine at the sound. When you pull away and Arthur orders another drink, you look down at your lap.

The dress that adorns you is a pretty one, lace and frills and a large change of pace from your normal camp clothes. When you had mentioned, offhand, to Arthur the marvel of moving pictures being shown in the big cities, where it was far nicer than the theater in Valentine, and how you’d love to see one, you never thought you actually would. You’d almost forgotten you’d mentioned it, it’s been so long ago.

But Arthur hadn’t, and you suspected that journal of his had something to do with it. Early this morning, he had approached you, smiled bashfully, and offered a day away from camp. Before the show that evening, he’d taken you to get a new dress, then a fancy lunch, and finally the event you had waited for.

“Thank you so much for today,” you said, breaking the comfortable silence. “I had so much fun. I know how much you dislike the city; it was so considerate of you to do this for me.”

You punctuate the compliment with a kind smile, knowing he’ll deny it, refuse it, but you’ll gladly give him more praise. You figure his self-doubt cannot be a bottomless pit, but it does run as deep as an ocean. Still, you’ll freely offer up as much caring as it takes until he agrees: he’s wonderful.

And it starts now, as he looks away and says something about it not being that big of a deal. You silence him with a kiss— not on the lips, but rather right below his ear, where his jaw meets his neck. The sensitive spot quiets him immediately, a large hand of his coming to rest upon yours, tightening briefly. You smile, teasing tongue there, before pulling back.

Your smile is far more dubious, and you hope he accepts your offer: “Camp is a long way back from here. Maybe we could grab a room?”

Maybe that’s what you see in Arthur’s eyes as he nods, pronounces “Sure” in that way that drags out the u into an o and distances him further from the champagne society around you.

You’re filled with something akin to giddiness— though that seems too immature— a healthy dose of arousal and, when Arthur takes your hand in his— initiates that basic contact he’d been denied so long— a deep feeling of adoration.

The stairs up to the room are cleaner than Valentine, but not as appealing as Strawberry. The room isn’t too large, but, you note with something that may actually be giddiness, the bed is.

When you turn to Arthur, you already know it’s going to be an uphill battle to get him to give himself completely to you. Not for lack of trust, no, but because the deep-rooted doubt (or hate, as you hesitate to call it— how could someone like him despise himself?) that festers in him. You can almost feel it when he reaches for you, wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss. Feel it in the way he tries to distract you, get you too worked up to undress him properly and keep himself hidden from you.

But you stop that as soon as it starts. You slow the kiss into something more romantic, more caring. You trace along his jaw to his collarbones— another sensitive spot— and allow yourselves a chance to take comfort in how familiar this is.

When Arthur’s hold is more relaxed, you pull away. He looks down at you, gaze adoring but lust-filled. “You’re so beautiful,” you say. Then, quoting the earlier show, you add, “my darling.” The term of endearment had been spoken to one spouse to another, but you figured it could work well for you both too. Unlike earlier, when Arthur had mimicked the romantic action, your words held a serious kind of weight to them, one he didn’t seem to miss.

“May I?” You ask, fingers poised on the top button of his dress shirt, bought specifically for this day. You move from one course of action from another, not giving him time to deny your compliment, but still slow enough not to scare him.

“Darlin’,” he starts, voice deep in a way that sends pangs of heat downwards. “We don’t— ya don’t wanna see me.”

“Arthur,” you look straight into his eyes, make sure he’s paying attention to you, “there is nothing I’ve thought of more than how you look in these past two months. I’d love to see you, if you let me.”

He mustn’t of been expecting such an honest response. When he nods again, you brush your lips against his in a sort of thanks, then undo the first few buttons. Enough to see part of his union suit. When you’re done with that, you step back, admiring your handiwork. Arthur follows, almost instinctively, then stops.

You move your hands behind you, finding the fastening of your dress. “I’m wearing so much more than you, I’m sure it’d take double the time to get undressed.” It the truth, but only part of it. You didn’t want him becoming too uncomfortable if you undressed him too fast. It’s always been about an equal exchange with Arthur, from chores and hunting to personal lives. It’s what makes him comfortable, and you see no reason to not utilize it now.

“Need some help?” He asks, and you’re surprised but not unaccepting. You turn, moving your hair out of the way. He steps in close, warm hands staring where you left off.

“This really is a beautiful dress. You have excellent taste,” you say as the feeling of him moving down your back sends shivers up your spine. “I can’t wait to wear it again.”

“Those kinda chances don’t come to often. Not in our lives.” He sounds almost sad, apologetic, and you're quick to try and remedy that.

“You think I can’t wear this around camp? I think if I look pretty enough, Ms. Grimshaw will be too taken by my beauty to yell at me.”

He huffs a laugh behind you, and his fingers finish their work. You almost wished he hadn’t; the movement had been so intimate that it had almost let you pretend you weren’t in a temporary room, but rather a house of your own, somewhere free. But the moment’s over, and your much more taken with what is about to happen.

You turn back to Arthur. With your attention back on him, he seems more hesitant. Now that won’t do at all. You guide him to the bed, sit him down. He looks up at you, so trusting and open, that your heart melts. You’re quick to follow, move to his lap and calm him. Something familiar, again.

You’re pleasantly surprised when he reaches for you on his own accord, and you encourage it with a moan, pressed tightly against his lips. Maybe, if he were a less mature man, he would have bucked his hips up at that. Instead, his hands, one on the curve of your back and the other cupping your face, draw you closer. You oblige readily, greedily, willing to give him anything he asks. You push your hips forward, testing, and move against the growing hardness in his pants.

You do it again, then once more, relishing in the sound it pulls from the man under you. A groan, so deep you almost can’t hear it, that starts in the back of his throat and ends in yours and tells you how much this is appreciated. How much he needs this.

Your hands undo more of his shirt, and don’t stop until it’s completely undone. You pull away from him again, stoping your rocking motions. He still holds you as close as he can though. “Is this alright?”

He looks at you, and you still yourself for the denial you’re sure is coming. He says nothing, just stares at you until a big smile breaks across his face. It’s contagious. “Yeah,” he says, voice rough in a way that’s so appealing. “Yeah.”

You push the fabric off his shoulders, throwing it to the same chair your dress was moved to. You ask for permission once more as you grasp onto his belt. He gives his consent with a hushed whisper, face tucked into the right side of your neck, seemingly intent on leaving a mark. Your fumble with his pants until the red of his undergarments peaks through. When that’s done, you test the waters by pushing him back, gently. He complies readily, and you apply a bit more pressure: “Stay.” And he does stay, laying back on the bed and looking like pure sin.

Laying on his back, chest rising and falling heavily to replenish the breath that you’d taken from him. His cheeks are flushed, color high and warm on his face. His eyes, darken by pure want, look back at you when you meet them, intent and longing.

You could admire him forever, and the breath you inhale to tell him of that reminds you that your corset is uncomfortable and you are far too dressed. Still, you speak up: “You’re gorgeous.”

You stand, undoing your underthings as quickly as you can. Arthur watches you, and you let him. Let your fingers trail from your hair to the right fastenings that push up your breasts presenting yourself in a way you know must be alluring to him.

“I’ve thought about this night so much,” you tell him. “I’ve thought of the way you’d look at me, the way you’d look. My imagination could never do it justice.”

It’s true; the way his pants are pushed open just enough that the significant bulge pushes through, taunting and teasing you is better than any image you could of conjured in your head on many a lonely night.

When the ties binding your corset are set free, you breathe in deep. Your ribs thank you and you let the tight fabric fall away. All you’re left in now is a loose undershirt and the skirt that had poofed your skirt. Your hands find the waistband of it and push it down, little by little until it reaches your mid-thigh.

“Darlin’,” Arthur says from the bed. Your teasing has only been half-intentional, unused to the fastenings of the fancy dresses. But you’ve relished in the fact that he hasn’t taken his eyes off you and watches, intently, as you let gravity take the fabric away, the chamise pooling at your feet. The shirt has kept your modesty, but you could be quick to remedy that.

Could be, but choose not to be. Instead, your hands go to the pins in your hair, letting your arms wind up and pull the shirt with it, tantalizing up, up, up until you see Arthur’s hands ball into the sheets of the bed. How far could you push the teasing on this first night together? Not too much longer, you promise yourself. And Arthur too as his Adam’s apple bobs with a swallow, so desperate to see all of you.

You promise him too, in a voice that’s earnest, not condescending. “I promise I’ll make you feel so good, handsome.”

Finally, your hair is free, and you take to pulling the shirt over your head. Not slow, but not hurried either. You slow just as it reaches the bottom of your breasts, just to tease that little bit more.

At last, when your last article of clothing is thrown to the floor, you climb upon him again. Kneel over him and meet him for another kiss. One so unlike any others before, more heated and begging. His hands move to where your knees are bent at his sides and, when not told to stop, moves up your thighs and traces up your curves.

You bring your hips against him again, grinding hard and fast. You’re able to brush your clit against his hard cock in a way that almost makes you wonder if you could get off just like this.

“Shit,” he hisses, hands gripping your hips and pulling you against him. This time, his hips do buck up, searching for purchase against you and, yeah, you figure you probably could. “Darl’ I can feel you.”

Your wetness coats the front of his union suit, the fabric a darker shade of maroon. Any embarrassment you would have felt is wiped away by the way Arthur looks at you, desperate out of his mind. “It’s all for you, baby.”

He curses again, some word lost in the way he goes back to the crook of your neck. It’s almost cute, but you don’t allow yourself to dwell on it. Instead, you force yourself to stand again, almost tempted not to when he makes an attempt to pull you back.

He seems to mind less when you start to pull down his pants. There’s no hesitation this time, no resistance. He raises his hips to help you, then sits up at your beckoning. Sitting again, he almost seems like he should be taking on the commanding role, and intimidating as he is. And then he looks at you, blue eyes almost drowned in a sea of lust that threatens to spill over and encompass you too, and you’re reminded that he wants to give up control.

You gladly take it and his union suit off of him, throwing the red fabric to the side. You guide him with a steady hand to the headboard, laying propped up by pillows. You know he’ll give as good as he gets, but you wonder what it would be like to just let him relax and take care of him.

You’ve no time to dwell on it as you move to straddle him once more. Before you continue moving upward, you take in the sight of him, just once more.

His cock exposed to you dribbles our precum in steady amounts, trickles down his thick shaft until it pools on his balls, begging to be licked. You want to, but you want him in you more. Feel him stretching you out, a perfect for you know he’ll provide. You look back at his face, still burning red.

“We still good?” You ask. He nods. Doesn’t respond more than that, so you reach forward and cup his face. “Arthur?”

“Been a while, that’s all,” he says it like it’s something to be shameful of. You tell him it’s not. “Just... don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You could never disappoint me. Just being with you is enough.” You make sure to put emphasis on the word; it didn’t matter if it was with him here, now, or every day, when he makes you much happier than you’ve been in a long time. “I— I care about you so much.”

He smiled in a way that’s almost too sweet for the situation, then pulls you into a kiss that’s even sweeter. When you pull away you wait till he’s verbally said to continue before doing so.

You cup his face again, letting your thumb run across his lips. You wonder if he’ll get the hint or you should pull away when he opens his mouth, taking the digit between his lips. His warm tongue encompasses it, the flicks the tip slowly, once, twice, until you can imagine the same movements on your clit.

Your watch his mouth move for a second more until you decide you’ve missed his blush and move your other hand down to his cock. It’s thick, and you can’t wrap your hand around it entirely, but you pump him anyways.

Momentarily, his eyes lose focus, and you think you hear something that sounds like your name moaned around your thumb. But it’s not enough, not yet.

“Besides, your cock’s so big, I don’t think you could disappoint even if you tried.”

His eyes widen in shock, cheeks blazing a beautiful red. You smile at that and continue stroking him. A languid place that must be teasing with how hard he is, but you don’t dare go any faster, lest this night end too soon. You’re sure he would return in kind if that did happen, but you know he’d be so upset in himself.

His tongue continues, long strikes you can image elsewhere until you dip your hand a little lower, cupping his balls and feeling him up. He relaxes, eyes fluttering and it’s equal parts alluring and cute. He groans something you can’t quite understand. You free his mouth; “What was that, baby?”

“Please,” he murmurs in a way that makes it seem like the most shameful thing he’s said all night. You keep your hand in the same place, pleasuring him and relishing in the whimper he lets out.

You nod, even though he has his eyes closed. The bed creaks underneath you as you shift your weight, raising yourself over him, swallowing, then gripping him to steady him as you lowered down.

You inhale sharply as he enters you, almost too big, and Arthur holds your hips, preventing you from going any further. “Are you okay? D’ya need to stop?”

You shake your head. No. Maybe if you hadn’t been thinking about this since his first shot of whiskey, watching him swallow it down then sigh heavily, contently, and so easy to imagine in a different situation, or even earlier, when his steady hand met your waist and guided you through town— maybe then you would need more prep. But you don’t. You want to continue.

“I’m fine.” You push in further. He spears you apart in a way that would be painful, should be painful considering, but just makes you feel complete. “You feel so good. So perfect.”

He whines at your praise, fingers gripping harder, sure to leave bruises he’ll apologize for, but you love them. Love the way he loses controls for just a second, pulls you down closer. A second is all it takes for you to be sitting on him, him completely filling you up. You call his name, just to say it, to hear it in your voice that’s broken and wanting and so needy. Arthur responds in kind, calling back to you like some kind of imitation of the film earlier when the same thing had happened. In much a more pure situation, sure, but it’s because calling your lover’s name is the most natural thing there is.

You call for him again when you see his face, brow scrunched in concentration, mouth slightly agape. He looks at you, and you keep his eye and you raise your hips and fall once more. He pushes forward to kiss you as his hands help you find a rhythm.

Fast and hard seems to fulfill both of your desires. His hands drop to your ass like he’s wanted to all night and can’t find the will to resist now. He moans out shortly after you reach a hand down to find your clit.

He watches for a moment, seemingly taken with the way you please yourself, seeking your own pleasure. His chest rises and falls again, and lets out a cry of pleasure as you land particularly rough. His teeth catch his lip, seemingly embarrassed by the way he does.

“Don’t,” you gasp out. He looks up at you, charming eyes seemingly shocked by the reprimand. “I want— I’d love to hear you.”

He doesn’t hold his lip anymore, lets his breathing become audible and ragged. Sweet moans and breathy grunts come together to form something that promises his enjoyment. When he inhales sharply, you think you can make out your name. Arthur repeated it, clearer, a growl at the back of his throat.

“You feel so good,” you find yourself saying. “I always knew you’d feel so good.”

His head falls back, leaving his neck bare for you to make some marks of your own. You do happily, biting and sucking the skin you find. Arthur, maybe emboldened by this, or too gone to care, starts speaking.

“I was thinking ‘bout you too. Whenever you’d go down to the river and pull your skirt up to go in the water. Took everything I had not to take you right there.” He doesn’t stop bringing you up and down with his hands. The fast pace makes your thighs burn, unused the wide position you have to be in, but it’s worth it.

“You shouldn’t of held back,” you find yourself saying. “I did it so you would see.”

He groans at that, raising his hips to fuck further into you. “You tempt me in ways that are dangerous. Make me want things I shouldn’t.”

“Careful now,” you tease. You catch his lips again, a quick nip before you continue. “Keep talking like that and you’ll start sounding like a good man. And we both know how much you’d hate that.”

He doesn’t give you much of a response other than a huff of a laugh and a kiss that makes you think he might just love you too.

“You deserve everything I can give you,” you whisper to him, more serious. You push more of your weight on to him, making him lay back. The change of position takes the strain off your thighs and moves it to your knees, but it’s better. Arthur lays before you, face impassive but eyes begging for you to finish your thought, desperate for that validation. You give it to him tenfold. Pushing his hands flat against the bed near his head, you slide your fingers over his forearms, across his palms. Searching for something to hold onto. Until finally, your fingers are interlaced and you’re staring deeply into his eyes. Your pace has slowed, which makes him pay more attention to your words.

“You are a good man, Arthur Morgan. And so deserving of every kindness. And you’re— you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He surges forward and kisses you. Holds you against him deeply as he nears his end. One hand untangles itself from its spot at your back and moves to your front, fingers finding your clit. You both let out an appreciative sound—you, as your orgasm draws ever closer, and him, at the way your walls contract ever tighter.

His eyes flutter closed, breath ragged and you know he’s close. Right on that precipice and you so desperately want to push him over. “Arthur, my love,” you murmur, sugar-sweet. “Please cum inside me.”

And he does, hips canting upward to bury himself deep inside of you. The warm that seems to spread upwards is enough to push you over the edge too.

Your walls flutter around him, twice in natural response, a few more times intentionally to watch his shoulders cave, coming to bury his face into your neck. “Yer gon’ be the death of me, sweetheart.”

“There are worse ways to go, I suppose,” you breathe out. You allow yourself to lay like that, awkwardly half on the bed, but numb enough not to care, for just a little while longer. Long enough for Arthur to find your mouth, meet it in a kiss that was sloppy, slow, and tired.

“Meant our first time to be a bit nicer,” you said as you removed yourself from atop him. The juices that flowed from you were less attractive in your post-orgasm clarity. You grab the nearest thing you have—the undershirt that had somehow landed near the bed—to clean up. It needed to be washed anyway, and you aren’t planning on wearing it anytime soon. “There’s always next time, I suppose.”

Arthur nods. He looks different, now. More relaxed then you’ve seen him in weeks, months even. Cute enough—dare you say—to warrant you leaning over and kissing him. A soft bite to his lip for good measure.

“Next time might have to wait,” he mumbles against your mouth when you pull away, eyes still closed. “‘M not as young as you used to be, remember.”

You smile, nod. The soft linen of your shirt cleans his thick cock, tracing downwards. Your fingers brush against his skin, pushing the cloth along, gentle to be an accident if he were naive enough to believe it.

“Darlin’,” he warns, voice a low growl.

You pull away. “The morning, then.”

With both of you as clean as you’re going to get without taking a bath, you reach for the next nearest item of clothing to keep you someway decent. Arthur’s shirt. It a bit rough, not meant to be slept in, but it smells like him. You only do up a few of the middle buttons, just to tease him a little. Then you take your spot at the head of the bed, looking to your lover to join you.

“Keep acting like that,” Arthur warns, taking his spot next to you, “and we ain’t gonna make it till morning.”

You smile, welcoming him into your arms. He pulls you against him, shifts the covers around until your both warm and wrapped in each other’s arms.

And yet, you’re not content. Not yet, not with a secret on your lips, and a burden on your chest. “Arthur—“ you start, a bit breathless as you force yourself to talk with any forethought. “I love you.”

He stiffens beside you. You can feel his arms tense, his heartbeat quicken. Stays like that for a moment before he responds; “Couldn’ta been that good.”

He tries to pass it off with humor, self-deprecation, but you know what he really means. Do you mean it?

“If you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine. But I wanted to tell you. So you know that I really do care. And everything I said before—I meant it. I really do think you’re wonderful. Beautiful, even. And I don’t care what you’ve been through, or how bad you think you are, because I’ll love you all the same.”

Through your ramble, he’s stayed quiet. And stays quiet still as a moment passes, then another. Give and take, that’s what this relationship is built on. You’ve given—

And he tugs you closer to him, pressed you thought against him in a hug that’s so warm you know his answer before he says it. But the way his deep timber, quiet, whispered against you, but still so sincere responds, with a gruff but honest, “I love you too.”

— it lets you know he’s ready to give it back too.

The streets of Saint Denis weren’t empty; per day, but here, content with the man you loved, they might as well be.

#xr: arthur morgan #wr: arthur morgan #arthur morgan #[ tagged: my writing ]#[ mw: arthur morgan ]#nsft: arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #imagine #arthur morgan smut

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safetycar-restart · 2 years

Note

Hey! Let me try this again 😂

So Arthur comes to you after a race, being his best friend, crush and a trained dom. He’s had a bad race and day. And is struggling to be himself. He’s done research on submitting in the past and has finally built up the courage to ask you to let him to submit to you for just tonight or hell even permanently.

It brings us to where we are now. He’s told us he’s into bondage and pegging and praises. And that he wants to be your good boy no matter what.

He’s dropping without even realising so we begin. We softly start with a make out and then tie him to the bed, open him up. Play with his prostate. Then gradually start pegging him.

He’s on cloud nine having the time of his life!

“Uhhhhhh fUcK mommy right there!” And freezes and starts to cry out of embarrassment

“Hey baby now it’s ok my love mommy’s here!”

He smiles but it turns in to a loud moan.

You wipe his tears away and kiss him to distract him.

You even give him a hand job to get him there again.

And then he comes like never before!

Aftercare! Aftercare would be big for arthur. He can’t stand so you take a shower out of the equation and decide on getting in the bath. You help him get in and then slide in behind him. You wash him and his hair whispering sweet nothings In his ear. You get out and help him out. You dry him the best you can before getting him in the bed and then slide in next to him and pull him close to the point his head is on your chest snuggling into you like your going to run away!

The nexr morning he asks can this be permanent and of course you say yes!

Sorry I got carried away :)

-💋

This is so good! I'm so happy I finally received your Oscar ask cause this was certainly worth the wait oh my god I love this. Apologies in advance, I made it angsty. It's also way longer than intended. So uh... oops?

I love the idea of Arthur knowing you're a trained Dom and he wants you to Dom him so badly. Maybe he was interested in it before you told him that, but then he finds out that you're a Dom and he just... his poor little head nearly explodes.

He wants it more than he's ever wanted anything else, but you've never shown any interest in him before, and he's given you SO many hints that he's submissive and wants to sub for you but you've never done anything about it, so he thinks you just aren't interested.

Which actually... it just makes him so sad? Because as far as he knows, you dont have a sub at the moment. He has given you so many hints that he wants you. Surely you... surely you'd at least want him over no one?

So is he... is he really that bad that you'd rather just be alone?

I also think that once he knew you were a Dom, he thinks of you when he learns new things about BDSM. Every time he learns a new kink or activity, he imagines doing it with you.

The result of this is that he really doesnt want anyone else? He knows he could probably find someone else. But he cant. Because he doesnt want anyone else. And of course he has no right to feel like that because he hasn't even kissed you, never mind scened with you.

But then he has the worst race. He worked so hard and he got taken out by another car. He was already feeling unsettled before the race even started, and then that happened and he was just feeling so bad.

He really just wanted you take control.

It's only because he's so distressed that he actually comes to you and asks you and just says "Please, I know you dont want me to be your sub. But just tonight... please just for tonight."

Which just blows your mind because what the fuck is he talking about? You would love him to be your sub? What the fuck?

You dont bring that up now, because he's so clearly upset and you just want to make him feel good. So you have the basic conversation about what he wants, and he's shaking already because he needs it so bad. He probably didn't expect you to actually agree, but now you're asking him about limits and smiling so sweetly and holy fuck did he really just need to ASK?

Arthur starts dropping the moment you start tying him. It's not what he expected. He expected it to take longer, to feel it happening beforehand. But he didn't.

He felt your hands on his wrist, securing soft rope around him and then he's just absolutely gone. He's waited so long for this, there's nothing he can do to stop himself from going into subspace.

You open him up next, taking longer than you need to because you want to make sure that it doesnt hurt at all.

He's opened himself up before, so he knows how that feels. He's even ridden some dildos before. But absolutely nothing prepared him for that pegging feels like.

Having you right above him, feeling you move as the strap enters him... fuck it absolutely ruins him.

He's such a mess, whining and squirming and then suddenly you find his prostate and he's nearly screaming "Mommy"

He panics so much, convinced that he's ruined it. It's even worse because he's in subspace, so he's so scared of disappointing you. He just wanted to be a good boy, that's it. And now he's ruined it.

You reassure him quickly, "Mommy's got you," you say softly, "I'll make you feel good, yeah?"

He's so relieved. So fucking happy that he gets to be a good boy still.

He cums so hard! He very nearly blacks out from it, has to cling to you and cry softly for a while after because it was just so intense.

And of course he gets all the aftercare. Arthur is just so happy, smiling softly as you move him around, trusting you to look after him, mumbling "mommy" every now and then and trying to get more kisses.

You're so shocked at how much he trusts you, how he doesnt question anything, not even in aftercare. He knows you'll look after him, so he just holds you tight.

Needless to say, it happens again soon.

(I have more thoughts but this already a thesis so we'll leave it here for now and if you want more, let me know)

#sub!arthur #al #nsfw.#f!reader #💋

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pedropascalunofficial · 4 years

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My Cousin, Pedro Pascal

Ximena Riquelme

16 NOV 2017 12:53 PM

Before being the protagonist of Narcos or filming with Colin Firth, José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal (42) was a child whom I knew very well because we are from the same family. A man who today looks with nostalgia and some perplexity at his place of origin and his history and who still does not answer what would have happened if he had stayed here.

The first memory I have of Pedro is in the arms of my mother during his baptism, in the garden of my house. She was a weeping bus and had huge black eyes. I was 9 years old. It was cloudy. Years later I learned that the priest was Gerardo Whelan, the legendary rector of Saint George's College. Pedro's parents were not at his baptism: my uncle, José Balmaceda, my mother's only male brother, and his wife Verónica Pascal were asylees at the Venezuelan embassy, which was on Bustos street, near my house. Pepe, as we used to say to my uncle, who years later would become a famous gynecologist, an expert in fertilization, was then a 27-year-old young doctor, in those days wanted by Dina. Some time before they had hidden Andrés Pascal Allende, Mirista and his wife's uncle. One day they came to take him to the José Joaquín Aguirre Hospital and he managed to escape by jumping through the roofs. It was October 1975.

Like most of the Chilean families, there were supporters of both sides in mine: for and against Pinochet. Trying to help Pedro's parents, my dad called a relative who held a high position in the Army. "Tell the children to get asylum, because I cannot guarantee their lives or that nothing happens to Veronica," was his reply. She was 22 years old. Then began the journey of my uncles and with them that of my cousin José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal. Pepe and Verónica had to start living secretly in different houses. Pedro, who was only 6 months old at the time, and his 3-year-old sister Javiera were left in charge of my mother's older sister, "Aunt Juani."

The second memory I have of Pedro is when I accompanied my parents, who carried him and his sister in their arms, to stand on the sidewalk in front of the Venezuelan embassy so that their parents could see them through the window.

My uncles left the Venezuelan embassy for the airport in January 1976, Pedro was 9 months old and obviously does not remember anything. I just remember that they didn't let me go. Pedro could not record the image, which I could not see, of his grandfather Luis Pascal Vigil - a very prominent lawyer - singing the National Anthem on the balcony of Pudahuel. A memory that is not mine but that I adopted, for cute.

As the people of the International Red Cross advised our family on time, Pedro and his sister did not leave the embassy with their parents, but arrived directly at the airport: this allowed their passports not to be stamped with the "L" for " limited to circulate "that stamped on the exiles who left. Therefore, the years that Pedro and Javiera came could come to Chile without problems. And for that reason, the choclón of cousins, we were able to share long summers in Pucón and some winters in Santiago.

The Balmaceda Pascal first arrived in Aarhus, Denmark, in October 1976. A year later they left for San Antonio, Texas, where Pedro's father was able to continue improving himself thanks to a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation. Veronica earned a PhD in Child Psychology.

________________________________________

"But Denmark is invisible to me," Pedro writes me by email. A while ago I proposed to interview him at a distance to travel a little about his history, and here we are, in front of the computer, sharing memories. "It is invisible to me, like everything that happened before. Although once, after telling him about my childhood, a doctor told me that the temporary separation with my mother was trapped in the memory of my body and that I could remember it through the senses".

My cousin, far away

The third memory I have of Pedro is a summer in Pucón. It must have been in 1978. "Pepelo", as we said, was no longer a guagua but a restless, very blond boy, who was so impacted by poverty in Chile that when he went out on the street with his gringo accent, he asked any person: "Are you poor?" He took food out of the pantry and gave it away. With my cousins we rented a warm wooden house, colorful, with the door frames out of square. It was summers with trips to those black sand beaches that burned the feet and picnics in Caburgua with lamb on the stick. They took us to mass and Pedro sang very inspired.

"This is where the memories become more vivid, like dreams," he writes. "I remember so many details: my older cousins, children my age who were like family. The beach seemed endless. I also remember running down the hallways and stairs of Aunt Juani's house looking for Santa Claus at Christmas."

XR: What was it like leaving your parents in the United States?

PP: "I think the trauma was going back to the States, although I obviously wanted to be with my parents. But childhood in Chile, with the Balmaceda and Pascal, was a dream, a world where nothing was missing, pure adventure and love."

Now that he tells me that, I remember that image of Pedro hanging on the neck of our aunt Juani, crying in Pudahuel because she did not want to return. At that time going to the airport was a panorama: we were going en masse to leave him and his sister, who traveled in charge of the stewardesses.

In 1981 I went with my parents and my two sisters to see the Balmaceda Pascal in Texas. I remember an eternal road trip from Miami, I remember Pedro's house, in a middle-class neighborhood, comfortable, beautiful, lovingly arranged by his mother. I remember the tears of my mother and Pedro's mother when we said goodbye to return to Chile. We still didn't know when they could return. Although Pedro never fully returned.

In December 1983, Pepe and Verónica were able to enter Chile. The whole family was packed on the terrace of Pudahuel, waiting for them. I remember the Balmaceda Pascal walking from the stairs of the plane to the International Police. I remember them happy, triumphant. Pedro was 8 years old and chose to stay in my house, in love with my girl sister.

We all went to Quintero, to the house of our grandfather Pepe, a great smoker, tennis player, and fanatic fanatic who took us to the town cinema to see double Tora! Programs, Tora !, Tora! More Bridges on the River Kwai and other old movies. Surely Pedro had to see several. Since he was a boy he said he wanted to be a "director". He liked horror movies and was a big movie consumer, like his dad.

PP: "I remember going to the movies with the cousins and the grandfather to see anything with Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone. They leased me VHS movies to see alone and happy."

XR: You once recited Hamlet on the beach with Grandpa.

PP: "No, it was Death of a Salesman, by Arthur Miller. I was about 14 years old. I videotaped it and lost the fucking camera on the trip back to the United States."

After that summer, Pedro began to come more sporadically. He was already grown up, at school and then at university. They had moved to Newport Beach, California. His father was doing very well. But Pedro, not so much.

PP: "I think that the way the family supported me in Chile was the opposite of what I experienced in Newport Beach. I started well in California but at 13 years old, very involved in the cinema, reading plays, books, TV, TV, TV, obsessed with these things, I had the bad luck to find few like me. It was a world very attached to conservatism and its privileges where not fitting was punished. There was a group of shitty goats who were my friends the first year and became my terrors thereafter. I don't enjoy remembering that time, but there are deep connections from back then. Friends of my parents who are like parents until today."

Pedro's mom soon found a performance arts program at a high school in another district. A more inclusive school compared to Corona del Mar, the neighborhood where they lived in Newport.

PP: "My mom and my driver's license were my salvation. There I was able to unleash my appetite for movies and theater without limits."

As time went by Pedro became a fun, provocative teenager with character. He said he was "lazy", but he went to study Theater at NYU in 1993 and he loved it. I started to see it less. When he came to Chile he went out with his friends, I was already married and having children.

XR: Did you find that our way of life was very boring?

PP: "Bored, no. But overwhelming regarding life's permanent decisions. I didn't have the Catholic structure, and I felt there was no room for a young guy like me. Like suddenly, from one trip of mine to another, you had lives that included marriages and children, and pleasing the visits of the gringo cousin was no longer an option for all of you. I had to duel, because I was jealous of his inattention."

XR: Do you find us very conservative?

PP: "Yes, but it is a major contradiction for me. I come from the perspective that no one can decide how someone else should live their life. And well, in our family there are social rules that are very firm. I think that a person has the right to live his life conservatively or wildly as long as he does not negatively impact anyone or tries to embarrass others by his lifestyle. I don't touch these issues very much with our family for fear of hearing their perspective, but what I do know is that if I ever needed help I could ask any member of our family by the name of Balmaceda, and I would get it."

In 1995, Pedro's parents returned to Chile with their two youngest children, Nicolás and Lucas, who had been born in California. Javiera also came for a couple of years. Pedro stayed in the United States.

PP: "It was a very scary period. I grew up with my family in the United States and from one day to the next there was no home to return to. Suddenly the idea of the safe nest was gone. It was shocking because in previous years I took for granted the privileged life we had in California. I never thought that this could change as suddenly as happened to my parents when they became exiles. Everything felt fragile. Also, I knew that my parents' marriage was wrong and that the tension of those circumstances was hardly going to end. My mother's life felt in danger and the line between needing her, being there for her and finishing my studies and pursuing a career was a horrible conflict. I knew that my mom wanted me to continue doing mine, she never would have wanted me to sacrifice it."

XR: Did you really resent the failure of your parents' marriage?

PP: "For me it was the hardest time. I have not been able, and I do not know if someday I will be able to reconcile completely how my parents separated and the tragedy that came after that separation. The circumstances of my mother's death made it very hard for us to keep her memory of who she was. It hurts so much ... Sometimes I feel distressed and try to face it in the best possible way, because I know that my mother would not like me to do it in any other way."

Pedro lost his mother when he was 24 years old.

PP: "It's hard to say what I remember most about her. You met her, so it is easy for you to understand that she was the love of my life. I think of her every day. Since I don't pray, I can't say that I have a practice to feel her close, but I live for her even though she's gone, and that makes sense to me."

From Alexander to Pedro

XR: Do you believe that pain makes us stronger or does it seem like a horrible cliché?

PP: "I don't think it's a terrible cliche but a profound reality. In some way, losing the most important person in your life, discovering that something like this is possible and that what you fear most in life can happen is an identifiable and permanent moment. There is a before and after after his death. I think, yes, that old age would not have been for my mother, there would have been no footwear with her. Of course, no one wants to grow old, but others can handle it better. I would not have liked to see my mom struggling with it, but at the same time, I wish I had her every day still with me."

It may have been the summer of 2012. Pedro said to our aunt Juani: "I am 37 years old and I still can't get what I want. And it's the only thing I know how to do." It had been a long time since the death of his mother in the summer of 2000 that Pedro had changed his name. From Pedro Balmaceda to Pedro Pascal. He had been searching for years, years of casting where, by being called Pedro Balmaceda in the studios, they hoped to find a Latin or classic Mexican phenotype. He had only made minor appearances in some series.

XR: Although you did not regret it, you did wear Alexander at some point. Why?

PP: "That was a desperate period and directly related to having lost my mother. I was desperate to work, to fill my days with something more to suffer. To eliminate the confusion that casting directors had with this guy named Pedro with European or Caucasian traits, I changed my first name to Alexander and took my mom's last name, Pascal. That only lasted a year, until I was able to find a job and be selected for an Ibsen theatrical classic. But it was too late for people to identify me as "Alex". Also, my mom named me Pedro. So the decision was to call me Pedro Pascal, a name that fits with me more than any other."

Soon after that came Brothers and Sisters, other small roles, and later more important ones in The Good Wife, The Law and Order, The Mentalist, until Game of Thrones, Narcos in 2015 and now, filming Muralla china with Matt Damon and William Dafoe - last year we all went to see his cousins together - and then Kingsman 2 with Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Jeff Bridges, Halle Berry and Channing Tatum.

XR : Have you ever been excited acting with such powerful actors?

PP: "I have been thrilled with everyone."

With fame have come the new meetings of the cousins with Pedro Pascal. We all want to see him, take pictures of us, we ask him for greetings-chub for friends, we inflate ourselves by saying that he is our cousin. That Peña, the protagonist of Narcos and the sexiest guy in the world, is my cousin-brother. He laughs and humorously calls us "scoundrels" because now we remember him. In fact, that's what our cousin chat on Whastapp is called.

But there is also the modesty to disturb him. Know that you are busy. That while I'm sending you these questions, you're filming in Boston with Denzel Washington. And to feel that there is always a lack of time to speak to him calmly, a space to ask him questions like the ones that occur to me now:

XR: Exile changed your life. Can you imagine growing up in Chile?

PP: "I don't know, because I haven't thought much about it. I have been asked this question all my life and have never been able to come up with an answer. Perhaps my life would have been more complete and solid. What I am used to is that the past disappears as if it had been lived by someone else, in another time."

XR: Do you miss something from when you were Pedro Balmaceda?

PP: "You know? There is very little difference between Pedro Balmaceda and Pedro Pascal. As it is all part of José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, I feel the same person. But with back problems and more money."

XR: Would you like to start a family?

PP: "Being a dad? I don't know. I have no fucking idea. I love being an uncle. It may just end there. But anything is possible."

XR: Marialy Rivas said something very nice about you on Saturday: that when you play a character, you pretend that this character brought a whole previous story, much bigger than what they are telling. And it's true: you carry a bigger story than you tell it.

PP: "I don't know, cousin. I am very confused trying to organize the past and see what turns out. It helps me understand the pain or be grateful for what I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fraud, living between waiting for fame and attention and completely embarrassed by these wishes.

In reference to what Marialy said, I think she means that I put all my confusion, joy and sorrow, ambivalence, hostility, rage, love, lust, greed, compassion, ignorance, knowledge either to indicate a map with the finger on Narcos, throwing an arrow in Game of Thrones, lashing out at Kingsman. Cool! But I think my experience in theater taught me that."

XR: Would you someday like your life to be a script?

PP: "No way." (in english)

XR: Do you still want to be a "director", as you used to say when you were a kid?

PP: "Yes! That will be my way of being a father. Father of a production."

XR: Is dreaming about an Oscar the dream of every actor, even if you don't confess it?

PP: "I confess that possibly… yes."

#pedro pascal #cousin #la tercera #2017 #family #mother #father #asylum #embassy #pedro pascal article #article #javiera balmeceda #peter balmaceda #cousins #pp article

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spaceflower07 · 3 years

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Hetalia Phone headcanons

Alfred's phone: Most would think he would go for the newest iphone there is but they are wrong. Alfred's phone is a black iPhone X.The reason why this is because they have a bunch of cool superhero cases for that type of model and Alfred refuses to change it. Even if he broke his phone he would still get the exact same model. Alfred has many, many, many superhero cases for his phone, but his most used one is a Captain America case. Ivan's phone: He's not very picky about phones. If he can call, text, and play Tetris it's okay in his book. He used to have a Samsung flip phone. However Alfred refused to be seen with him if he had a flip phone (Samsung at that!) so Alfred dragged him down to the Apple store. Ivan didn't want to go, but there actually were a lot of good phones there, and he ended up buying an iPhone XR (By Alfred's recommendation). At first his case is just pitch black with a photo of him and Alfred slipped into it, but then he found a sunflower designed case and he never looked back. The photo is still in there of course, Alfred thinks it's adorable. Francis: He is by far the pickiest out of everyone else. He'll only buy from the top company of phones, which is Apple. He picked iPhone 11 cause he thought it looked the most beautiful. Arthur thought that was a bogus way of choosing a phone. Arthur doesn't like his phone very much because of the lack of actual buttons and he finds it very confusing. Francis taught him how to use it but he still thought it was stupid anyway. He has a rose designed case, it actually looks very aesthetic pleasing. Arthur: Arthur refuses to have a phone that doesn't have a physical button. It's complicated for him and sometimes he forgets how to even operate the phone without a button. At first he had a Galaxy s7 but Francis was so horrified and disgusted by the design that he dragged Arthur to go phone-shopping. Arthur was frustrated because every other phone company either didn't have phones with buttons or the design did have buttons but it was ugly. Only one company made good looking phones with buttons and that was Apple. Arthur was even more frustrated because Apple is an American brand and he didn't want to buy from an American brand. But after he laid eyes on a rose gold 7 iPhone he completely changed his mind. Yao: He has one of those cheap knock-off brand phones that work just as good as the original. His phone is a fake Samsung s8, and people, especially Yung Soo tell him to get an actual none-knock off phone because it's not like he's poor. He can afford an actual phone, he's the second richest nation. But Yao refuses and says that his phone works just as well as the original and he doesn't need a real one. Because he's cheap and stingy and doesn't want to waste his money on a real phone when we can save his money buying a fake phone that works just as well. He has a cute panda case. Matthew: Used to have a Nokia flip phone, but Alfred felt embarrassed for him and took it upon himself to buy his twin brother an actual phone ("I refuse to be seen with you while you're holding that pathetic phone. Imagine the ridicule, Mattie, THE RIDICULE.") so now they have matching iPhone X phones. Matthew's case is pitch black though, he's not very big on cases and doesn't think buying a flashy one will do anything. Ludwig: Another person who is yet again dragged into buying a modern phone. He had a flip phone just like Matthew. Gilbert and Feliciano were mortified that Ludwig had such a phone, especially during the 21st century cause that's just embarrassing. They bought him a Nokia 7 plus since it has to survive all of Ludwig's hardcore workouts. Once again his case is pitch black since he's not big on designs and thinks they're unnecessary. Feliciano: Has an LG v10 because he's clumsy and constantly falls and he needs a durable phone that can survive anything (liquid, concrete, etc.). Feliciano once had a regular Huawei 10 which Kiku gave him but he broke it in less than 4 hours. The phone also has a good camera and Feliciano loves taking pictures.

Kiku: Samsung Note cause the pen comes in handy. Yao dislikes it because his child just spent hundreds on a real phone when he could've bought a fake one instead. Mei and Leon aren't happy either because Yao makes them have fake OPPO phones but Kiku has a real phone? Not fair. Gilbert: Nokia 7 Plus as well. Gilbert also has the same hardcore workout as Ludwig, and does much more like parachuting, rock climbing, cliff diving, etc. so Gilbert's phone really has to be durable and be able survive anything or else Gilbert would have to constantly get a new phone every few months. His case is the Prussian flag, but he had to get it customized because they don't make Prussian merchandise anymore. Roderich: At first, had no phone. He didn't think it was necessary since he had an eagle to send messages already. Gilbert told him that wasn't how awesome people do things these days. He was even more mortified to find out that Hubert, his and Roderich's 8 year old son, HUBERT, did not have a phone, he dragged them both down to the nearest phone store and got them both Samsung Note 10 phones since he knows the two of them love to have something like a pen or a paintbrush or a baton (for conducting) in their hand so he bought them the phone that had the pen. Roderich was against it but Hubert seemed to love it and was mesmerized by how the pen could operate the phone instead of a finger. Roderich gave in and bought the phone anyway. He said he wouldn't use it as much, but he was mistaken because Gilbert couldn't tear Roderich's eyes away from his phone for weeks. Roderich had to go to rehab. Lovino: Samsung Galaxy S21 Ultra. He had refined tastes and high standards, and this phone meets it all. It's gorgeous, it's useful, it's practical, hell, this phone is like his best friend. He's just as obsessed with it as Roderich in which Gilbert said "Why am I always attracted to phone obsessed people"

#hws hetalia #hws #hetalia headcanons

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

“The rest of your life” Are you independent or dependent? Both, but definitely more dependent. Even more so these past few years.

If you could put your life into a category, where would it go? I feel like this would be easier to answer if you gave a list of categories. I don’t know what kind of insight you’re looking for. <<< Yeah, I have no idea how to answer this.

How many animals do you have? I have one doggo. <3

Are you popular? Nope. Never was and that’s perfectly fine.

What time were you born? Around 430PM.

Have you had any candy this week? Nope.

Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? I’ve never experienced either one, but they both sound terrifying.

Do you like those nerd glasses? I don’t know what “nerd glasses” you’re referring to.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nope. Or any kind of physical fight.

What color is your house? Beige.

When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Hmm. I don’t remember.

Have you ever ate a crayon? Nope.

Ever rode in a helicopter? Yes, after my accident I had to be flown to another hospital.

Do you like rabbits? Sure.

Do you like mushrooms? Nope.

“It’s like you step into the room and just press play” What was the last movie you cried at? On Halloween I rewatched It Chapter 2 and the ending always gets me in the feels with what happens to Eddie, when it shows the loser’s club as kids and then adults, and the letter from Stanley.

What ice cream flavor best describes your personality? Vanilla cause I’m plain and simple and “innocent”, ha.

Would you rather work for a small or large company? I don’t know.

Where's your favorite place to buy clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

How many languages do you speak? Just one fluently. I can speak some Spanish, though.

What was the worst movie you've ever seen? Hm. There’s been several wtf movies, but I don’t know what I’d say was the worst. I don’t feel like thinking much about it.

What video game have you played the most? Mario bro games and most recently Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I’ve been playing that just about everyday for a lot of this year.

What was your favorite TV show as a child? Nick Jr shows, Playhouse Disney shows, Arthur, The Big Comfy Couch, Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs, Bobby’s World, some Cartoon Network cartoons, and Saturday morning cartoons like Recess and Pepperann.

What's your favorite sport? None.

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it? I have no idea.

Do you believe there’s life on other planets? Not in the form of ugly green creatures with odd shaped heads.

What was the worst place you ever traveled to? Hm. I haven’t been anywhere I didn’t really like.

What is one thing you’re really bad at? Life.

Do you believe in angels? Yes.

Would you rather be a famous actor or musician? Neither.

“where have you been all my life?” If you could have invented one thing, what would it have been? I don’t know.

What's your favorite exercise workout? I don’t have one. I don’t exercise :X

What's your favorite thing to do? Some things I like to do include surveys, reading, watching YouTube, scrolling through Tumblr, and checking my social medias.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? I’m sure dinner with family. Probably invited my aunts and cousins over.

Does your local Wal Mart have benches in them to rest? Yeah.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I got more into stuffed animals as I got older to be honest when I started collecting giraffe stuffed animals.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Uhh I don’t know.

Are you crazy in love currently? No.

Are you good at swimming? No, I can’t swim.

What's worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet is suuuuper frustrating.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Use me and play me.

Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Out.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? I don’t have much say when I fall asleep, but to try and help with that I listen to ASMR.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? No.

Ae you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It is something I’m afraid of. I’m someone who tends to think it’s always a possibility whenever something is wrong or I’m really sick.

“Letters to Juliet” Are you a fast or slow walker? I’m a fast wheeler.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? I never wear a belt.

Does it bother you when people's underwear hangs out? Kinda cause as someone in a wheelchair I’m at the level of a lot of people’s behinds lol and yeah, I don’t particularly want to see their underwear. Even worse if their ass is hanging out.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? No.

When's your birthday? July 28th.

Do you own a bobble-head toy? Yes.

What color was the towel you used to dry off with today after a shower? I haven’t showered yet today.

Has anyone ever walked you home? Yeah.

Have you ever liked someone and they were taken? Yes.

When was the last time you went fishing? I’ve only tried it once, briefly. It wasn’t my thing.

True or false: You've read the book Lord of the Flies? True.

Have you heard of the band Yellowcard? Yep.

Have you ever seen the show Teen Wolf? I never got into it.

Do you have any quotes, lyrics etc on your walls? No. Are you a fan of Star Wars? Yes. I finally caught up on season 2 of The Mandalorian so far last night.

“Our parents never let us cross the street, but we did it anyway” Has anyone ever told you that you have nice hair? Yes.

What brand of camera do you own? I use my iPhone XR.

Is there something you're not looking forward to? My next doctor appointment.

Have you ever read the book Thirteen Reasons Why? Yep, back when I was in high school.

Do you wear white pants? No. I avoid wearing white cause I’m a slob haha.

When was the last time you were really angry? My doctor pisses me off. I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a call back regarding some lab results. I call and they say they’re waiting for the doctor to look over them and they’ll call me back to let me know but ugh it’s been taking days.

Have you ever made a 3 pointer in a basketball game? I’ve never participated in a basketball game.

Do you think you look better with your hair up or down? Down, but I always throw it up because it’s easier to deal with. I don’t have the energy or motivation to style or do anything with it.

Do you warm up before you hardcore exercise? I don’t hardcore exercise. Or exercise at all.

Do you want a pair of Converse shoes? Not currently.

Are you more of a studs or hoops type of person when it comes to earrings? Studs.

How many shirts do you have of your favorite band? Two.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? It’s already on, it’s currently on The Hallmark Channel.

Have you ever wore a tie before? No.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? I haven’t ate anything yet today, it’s only 5:28AM.

“For the Krusty Krab” Are you good at art? Nope, not at all.

How many times have you read your favorite book? I don’t reread books, actually.

Name one thing that you really hate. My health.

Have you ever tried walking on stilts? No. That would be impossible for me.

Is there a war that you find interesting? I’ve read the most about the Civil War and Abraham Lincoln. Especially for one of my community college history classes because the professor was a big Lincoln buff and I did a paper on Lincoln and the war.

Would you rather live in the city or country? City.

Do you think $7 is too much for a movie ticket? $7 is okay, but our movie tickets are more than that.

Would you like to be a newscast person? No. Fun fact: I was one of the newscasters on my elementary school’s news program when I was in the 7th grade, though. I enjoyed it, it was fun. It was nerve wracking, too, cause I went to a k-8th grade school and the news program played in every single grade/classroom.

Do you like word searches, coloring or crosswords better? I enjoy word searches and coloring.

Close your eyes and press a random key on the keyboard. j

How many William’s do you know? I don’t know any.

What time did you wake up this morning? It’s 5:34AM, I haven’t gone to bed yet.

Do you enjoy crutches? I’ve never used them, but does anyone actually enjoy them? They’re beneficial and necessary for some, so it’s great that they exist, but I don’t know if anyone actually enjoys them.

What's better: Snapple or Arizona tea? I used to love Arizona teas when I was a teenager. The green tea and the watermelon flavors were my favorite.

Make a word out of the word: Dinosaur. Sound.

“she said I love this song, I’ve heard it before” When you were younger, did you play with legos? Yeah.

Do you like Trix cereal? Yes. I haven’t had it in several years, though.

Do you get nervous easily? Yesss.

How long is your Facebook password? Uh, I’m not sharing that.

Do you like the movie Mean Girls? Yes.

How do you want your wedding to be? I don’t plan on getting married.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? Both. I love the tv show.

Do you hate it when you arrive to something early? No, I hate when I arrive to something late.

Have you ever been on Omegle? Yes.

Are you still in love with one of your exes? Nope. I moved on years ago.

Do you think it's attractive when guys wear beanies? It can be, sure.

What's something that makes you feel shy in public? Being in crowded places is one.

Do you like the shows on MTV? I like Catfish and the Teen Mom shows.

If you could go back and relive one day, what day? Hm. I’d have to really think about that if it was just one day.

What's one word you hate to be called? Sensitive. I know I am, but I hate being told “I’m too sensitive.” Plus sometimes it’s like, “no, maybe you’re just mean?”

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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gavillain · 4 years

Note

NOS-4-A2

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

best quality: His sinister mind. He’s easily the most evil and treacherous villain in the BLoSC show, and I love that about him. He brings a genuine menace and edge to every appearance, and I eat him up every time.

worst quality: The fact that I didn’t voice act him JK

ship them with: Arthur Watts from RWBY

brotp them with: The other Overtakers, and honestly I think he and Zurg would have a fun dorky dad/angsty son dynamic that makes me want and need them to reconcile in canon XD

needs to stay away from: The Wirewolf, obviously XD And probably XR since that’s @jcmorrigan‘s boo-thang, and I wouldn’t want NOS to murder my friend’s boyfriend XD

misc. thoughts: He’s legitimately one of the most underrated Disney Villains, and I think he meshes with the classic villain crowd even better than Zurg does. I would love to see him included in most Disney Villain media even though I know he’s a super longshot.

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blauws3l · 4 years

Text

Watching steaming potatoes while waiting for the end of the world

Vrijdagavond, 26.06. Ik leg mijn lichaam andermaal in de handen van Silicon Valley. Dat ik mijn intieme relaties outsource naar een geosociale datingapplicatie is louter het gevolg van een primair verlangen ergens deel van te kunnen uitmaken, denk ik. Toch had ik het nooit eerder geprobeerd. Ik kende de conventies niet, enkel de vele beruchte verhalen die in mijn kennissenkring en op het internet circuleren. Het resterende spiesje spinazietaart en een paar clicks later wordt mij toegang verleend tot een nieuwe dimensie in mijn virtuele bestaan. Ik herleid mijn geschiedenis, taal en politiek tot het opschrift: “Literature. Poetry. Blobvis.”. Om geen al te hoge verwachtingen te scheppen bij mijn datemateriaal en iedere vorm van potentiële teleurstelling tegen te gaan, selecteer ik zorgvuldig drie weinig belovende foto’s van mezelf.

Symen (25) Welkom in de supermarkt voor mannen

Enkele uren swipen en mijn ongecontroleerd verlangen naar aandacht en bevestiging wordt ruimschoots gecompenseerd. Arthur (26), Laurent (23), Rafaël (26), Jannis (24), Kevin (28) Tim (25),… Iedere match is een injectie van artificiële zelfliefde, een door kapitalisme gemedieerde egotrip. Mijn digitale ‘ik’ stijgt in aanzien op de datingmarkt en ik voel me voor het eerst sinds lang oprecht geliefd. De mechanismen die hierachter schuilgaan, zijn echter minder onschuldig. De waarde die ik aan mijn potentiële datingpartners toeken, de beslissing om naar links of rechts te swipen, is louter gebaseerd op uiterlijk vertoon en het bijhorende psychologische profiel dat ik, al dan niet, aan de persoon in kwestie koppel. De infinity loops van digitale profielen worden volledig gestript van hun ware identiteit, realiteit, verleden en context. Als ware het afspiegelingen, geesten. In het essay A Cyborg Manifesto (1985) stelt Donna Haraway de rigide grenzen tussen organismen en machines in vraag. Ik adem in en probeer me te verbeelden welke macht mijn Tinderaccount uitoefent op de rigide grens tussen mijn lichaam en het verlengde ervan; een tweedehands iPhone Xr. Parallelle werelden van verschillende mogelijkheden, toekomstbeelden en geliefden verschijnen in een droom tot me.

Na een nieuwe sessie dopamineshots valt mijn oog op Viktor (23). Zijn bio geeft blijk van een radicale openheid die me tot dan toe volstrekt vreemd was. In de conversaties die ik met vrienden heb, wordt het gebruik van Tinder doorgaans veroordeeld of zelfs weggelachen. “We denken vaak dat Tinder een app is waarop mensen snelle seks willen regelen. De realiteit is echter minder spectaculair en ook iets verdrietiger. Tinder is een soort vluchtheuvel voor eenzaamheid geworden”, schrijft journaliste Judith Duportail. Wanneer ik mijn zoektocht naar intimiteit verderzet, bots ik op gelijkaardige bio’s.

Viktor (23) Wegens geen succes, verlengd, Pieter-jan (22) Schoon van ver ma ver van schoon, Gilles (27) Looking for a woman to break my heart, so I can lose weight, Matteo (24) I like long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until the LSD wears off and I realize I’m just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy’s parking

De veruitwendiging van innerlijke twijfels, zwartgallige humor, zelfdestructieve neigingen, cynisme, tristesse en extreme eenzaamheid op online datingapplicaties getuigt van een dieper onderliggend fenomeen: ultra moderne solitude in een laatkapitalistisch tijdperk. Bedrijven als Tinder infiltreren dagelijks in het intieme leven van miljoenen gebruikers en eigenen zich systematisch individuele noden, verlangens en gevoelens toe. Tegelijkertijd hebben zulke online datingapps er alle belang bij niet in het opzet “Match. Chat. Date.” te slagen; hun verdienmodel ent integraal op almaar terugkerende bezoekers die de infinity loops blijvend voeden. Tinder is een plek waar hyperindividuele verlangens zegevieren, maar tegelijkertijd lijkt het een katalysator voor extreme vormen van depressief hedonisme.

Simon (22): Twee redenen waarvoor ik leef: 1 - ik ben geboren 2 - ik ben nog niet dood, Casper (23): “We’re doing well, watching The World falling down, its decline” Mac 420

Zaterdagmiddag, 27.06. Het besef dat dit een fundamenteel eenzame zomer wordt met schamele vooruitzichten als een cursus ‘Algemene economie’, ‘Statistiek voor beginners’ en ‘Financial and management accounting in creatieve en culturele sectoren’ sijpelt binnen. Ik leg me erbij neer, adem uit en droom mezelf een parallel heden:

Sofie (22): pls make me delete this app.

🔥 Referentielijst:

- Duportail, J. (2019). L’amour sous algorithme. Parijs: Editions Goutte d’Or.

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smartpeople-capstage · 2 years

Text

Notes to SMART PEOPLE by Lydia R. Diamond

Notes to Smart People, by Lydia R. Diamond

7-8) Valerie’s lines, from Julius Caesar, II, 1, ll 257 onward: Portia worries about her husband’s health. What she doesn’t know is that Brutus’ worries have to do with the planned conspiracy to kill Caesar.

9) “Orientalism”, the theory popularized in the Academy in late 50’s, and debunked, famously by Edward Said in Orientalism (1978) in which he discusses the West’s presumption of superiority to application of clichéd analytical models for perceiving the “Oriental World”.

10) BRIAN:“These numbers represent real people……” v. ‘scholars’ who argue decimal points

11) “The stereotype-content model predicts….” See Wiki…SCM

15) 1st BlackBerry phones released in 2002—offering cellular phone service, wireless email and internet access. Took business world by storm.

16) ‘cognitive neuroscience’ “is the scientific field that is concerned with the study of the biological processes and aspects that underlie cognition, with a specific focus on the neural connections in the brain which are involved in mental processes.” (See WIKI on ‘cognitive neuroscience for more info.)

Also see Brian’s work with Valerie, Scene 5.

‘neuropsych’—is a branch of psychology. It is concerned with how a person’s cognition and behavior are related to the brain and the rest of the nervous system. Professionals in this branch of psychology often focus on how injuries or illnesses of the brain affect cognitive and behavioral functions.” (See WIKI on “neuropsychology” for more info.)

19) I-Phone released in 2007.

22) As far as I can figure out, Jackson’s fooling with Valerie. Both titles are of/or close to African-American songs. Couldn’t find any ‘play’ entitled either.

29) Brian’s description of what his “study” is all about seems as clear a description of what he does as a neuroscientist as any.

33) “The Harvest,” opened 1975. Upscale restaurant on Harvard Square,

44 Brattle St. to be exact.

36) XR versions of Saxagliptin—drug for diabetes patients.

50) “stucky”- snobbish, arrogant.

52) Mass General – major teaching hospital in Boston

54) Enemy of the People (1882)—first response is that Dr.Stockmann and Dr. Brian White share similar qualities—including being stubborn. (See interesting discussion of this in morgue, review of Smart People, by Tony Adler)

55) Clark’s Study—the 6 dolls (3 White, 3 Black) visual reference to the Clarks’ study of prejudice in kids using dolls. See Brown v. Board & “The Doll Test” in the morgue, if interested. (Brian and Jackson discuss them further in Act II, sc. 1)

57) Rosen and Gardner “predict”—they might but I can’t find reference to them?

62) Mengele—the “angel of death”. Nazi who sent 10’s of thousands of Jews to their deaths in camps, and performed grisly surgeries on many others—famously on twins.

77) A Genius Grant. The MacArthur Fellowship given annually to talented individuals in many fields so they can be independently wealthy for a few years to pursue their art/science/whatever. It’s mega-prestigious.

86) 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon. More fun than I thought. See Wiki—6 Degrees of KB.

88) “hobbyist”—huge insult to a serious scholar.

97) PDD-NOS -- Pervasive development disorder—not easily specified.

100) Rue McClanahan & Bea Arthur—actors famous for spin-off of “All in the Family” –about a racist/bigot, idiot, “Maude”, etc.

#smartpeople #lydiardiamond #play #playwright #dramaturgy #theatre #capstage

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paulosuplicy · 3 years

Video

vimeo

Get inside our working process... from SILA SVETA on Vimeo.

Alexander Us [co-founder & creative director] and Arthur Kondrashenkov [creative director] talking about “Levitation” (2016), our big XR studio and teasing “Levitation 2”.

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perfectirishgifts · 4 years

Text

This Week In XR: Oculus Under The Microscope With Other Facebook Properties

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/this-week-in-xr-oculus-under-the-microscope-with-other-facebook-properties/

This Week In XR: Oculus Under The Microscope With Other Facebook Properties

Facebook might be forced to sell Instagram and WhatsApp. The Federal Trade Commission, with bipartisan support, will seek to break up the company due to antitrust charges.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg testifies before the House Judiciary Subcommittee on Antitrust, … [] Commercial and Administrative Law hearing on “Online Platforms and Market Power” in the Rayburn House office Building on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC on July 29, 2020. (Photo by MANDEL NGAN / POOL / AFP) (Photo by MANDEL NGAN/POOL/AFP via Getty Images)

There’s some grumbling about the closed Oculus VR ecosystem as well, entirely undeserved at the moment since FB is doing more to develop the VR medium, in a safe responsible way, than anyone. The use of Facebook’s algorithm to control behavior is a much more pressing problem. The company holds democracy in its hands. Is everyone ok with that? Because that is not ok. Just because we all like their free services and cheap headsets does not give Mark Zuckerberg the right to control democracy. This isn’t about Zuck’s trustworthiness. Anyone who wants to wield this kind of power should automatically be disqualified.

Unintended consequences are running rampant at Facebook. The monopoly suit is a sidehow, distracting us from the main attraction. You Tube has similar problems. They give us what we like, even if it’s lies and propaganda, and limit what we don’t like. Good for selling tshirts, bad for society.

Nreal Light consumer smartglasses, fresh out of the box.

Vodafone to launch Nreal Light glasses across Europe. The augmented reality glasses will be able to run on Vodafone’s 5G network. The Nreal Light will launch first in Germany and Spain in Spring 2021. No word yet on the US launch, originally projected for fall 2020. 5G is rolling out more slowly in the states.

Mojo Vision and Menicon announce a joint development agreement on Smart Contact Lens products. The partnership hopes to focus on each company’s expertises, dealing with contact lens materials, fitting, cleaning, and other topics. Mojo Vision is currently developing the first AR contact lens, called Mojo Lens.

Snap hosts Lens Fest this week, a public global AR festival to support AR creators and developers. Some of the announcements include Snap investing $3.5m to support AR creators and developers in 2021, a Lens studio update, and new Lens training courses for students. Lastly, Snap is working on a new project with the Los Angeles County Museum of Art to create AR monuments and murals around the city.

Sandbox VR retail location in San Francisco bay area is now shuttered.

Sandbox VR comes out of Chapter 11 bankruptcy after reorganization. The location-based VR company, which had a Star Trek: Experience and in-house developed games, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in August. The financial move freed the company to renegotiate or exit existing leases. It also took down many celebrity investors. Oooops.

Collaborating in Arthur.

Arthur Technologies announced it raised $2.5m in seed funding to expand the growth of the company’s VR collaboration software. The round was led by Silicon Valley venture capitalist firm Draper Associates. Arthur plans to launch a beta of its software for enterprises and eventually expand to iOS and Android mobile devices.

‘In Titan’s Light’ NFT by Sutu and deadmau5

Digital artist Sutu partnered with electronic music artist deadmau5 to release a new audio-reactive digital art non-fungible token (NFT). NFTs allow digital creations including art and music to be verified as scarce, authentic assets on the Ethereum blockchain. The animated artwork, paired with the track SATRN, inspired Sutu to create this a golden space station “bathing in the twilight on the moon of Titan.” This original artwork can be purchased on Super Rare.

This Week in XR is now a podcast hosted by Paramount’s Futurist Ted Schilowitz and Charlie Fink, the author of this weekly column. You can find it on podcasting platforms Spotify, iTunes, and YouTube.

From Media in Perfectirishgifts

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bert-ill · 4 years

Photo

#Repost @tpimagazine when we did the things we #love interview pix by @paul.gaertner 💗 ・・・ 🎤 // J U N E 2 0 2 0 – # 2 5 0 // 🎤 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The latest issue of TPi is here featuring... ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ James Arthur | ER Productions: Cage The Elephant | Katy Perry makes XR history | Back To The Future: The Musical | Bertil Mark lights Lindemann | Drive–In Focus | In the Field: Midas HD96-24 | Prolyte’s Eric Laanstra discusses the acquisition by Area Four Industries | TPi Award winning VJs, More Eyes take the 🔥 seat | Production Futures – Morgan Evans + more exclusive live event design and technology news and features! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 📸: Rahul Bhatt and Jordan McKellar https://www.instagram.com/p/CBAarH6ix03/?igshid=1sr4itas4uv21

#repost #love

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meadowlarkjourneys · 4 years

Text

changing formats

My blog posts have a specific format: I start out with a problem, go on a slight tangent and then neatly wrap it up with a sweet, simple solution that, if not solves, at least remedies my current ailments.

I don’t know how to do that right now.

I feel really lost in all this.

I’m a big believer in finding beauty and pleasure in the little things. A small cherry blossom, the sun shinning into my kitchen at that sharp, early-morning angle. But the other day, when I went for my daily state-mandated exercise, I saw white dead nettle flowers lining my route and realized I couldn’t even pick them up and taste that sweet spring nectar. I was afraid of my own hands, of everything around me. Look, but do not touch. I can’t find an approriate metaphor for that feeling. No air was knocked out of me, no punch to my stomach. Just a sad, slow deflation of motivation. My survival technique was useless in this familiar projection of a truly foreign world.

I tried resorting to crafts. New projects, new me, right? It worked for a bit. I dabbled in some macramé (ordered that cord online, wait for another craft-down in 4-5 working days), finished a sock I started stress-knitting at the XR October Rebellion and finally finished my mom’s christmas present.

I tried exercise. They all say it brings endorphines and all that jazz, so why shouldn’t it be able to fix a corona-breakdown? There were small moments of success; some Julie Andrews-like spinning on Arthur’s Seat where I genuinly thought I’d shaked it off. Yoga even made me feel slightly in control of world events, not least aided by my new retail-therapy leggins (do not try this at home - known side-effects of online shopping include the planet dying).

I tried having a structured day. Now, that is advice I know we’ve all seen floating around our interwebby realities. Put on real clothes! Get up at the same time every day! I was quite successful for a while, even got up to two full tomatos in a day at one point. Daily yoga, daily walks, the works.

I tried it all, but after a wonderful day of biking along the firth of forth to look at the bridges, the mystical ‘gateways to beauty’ as my socially distanced bike mate called them, I came home and cried for a full 20 hours.

I’m tempted to conclude that we sometimes have to feel our feelings instead of solving them. Perhaps that is the lesson I have to learn right now that my fourth and final survival mechanism - running away to another country - is officially out of bounds. I’m not ready to admit it, though. It feels wrong to accept that things are hard when I’ve spent most of my life adamently fixing all the bad situations I’ve been in. I just can’t seem to find the energy to do that at the moment. Nor the opportunity, locked as I am in my lovely, but surely shrinking flat.

So what now? I don’t know. I can’t plan, don’t have anything to look forward to, can’t really do anything but sit in this being sad, homesick and occassionally angry. Apart from eating copious amounts of icecream and working through my personal stigmatization of deliveroo.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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gozealouscloudcollection · 5 years

Text

《紐約客》起底北美留學生日報如何收取“智商稅”：全靠編故事

一、“顯然，只有中國人才能拯救地球”

二、在美國很難找到不接觸“北美留學生日報”內容的中國學生

三、“北美留學生日報”使用了145次“辱華”字眼

四、“新媒體是一種低投入、高回報的產業”

五、“北美留學生日報的文章精確反映了自己讀者群對美國的幻滅”

六、“老實說，這純粹是捏造的”

七、陰謀論越離奇，流傳得就越廣

八、“我的文章流量可以輕鬆碾壓他們”

九、“但我想如果不看新聞，也不會有任何損失。”

以下為《紐約客》報導中文編譯全文，略有刪節。

一、“顯然，只有中國人才能拯救地球”

在二月份的一個星期一早晨，北美留學生日報的工作人員來到他們位於紐約時代廣場的辦公室內，進行編輯部會議。北美留學生日報是一個針對在北美生活的中國留學生中文在線媒體。紐約分部的主編Guan Tong查看了過去一周的內容流量，盯著她的MacBook，她看上去對她看到的數字比較滿意。

一篇北美留學生日報創始人林果宇寫的關於中國科幻片“流浪地球”的文章，已經擁有了超過100萬的閱讀量。文章的標題是“顯然，只有中國人才能拯救地球”。這樣強勁的數字顯然讓人感到意外：當時是中國新年（春節），對於北美留學生日報來說，這原本應該是增��緩慢的一周。 “不用再擔心過年時候的低流量了。”Guan十分高興地說到。一名年齡與其他僱員年齡相仿，20多歲左右的寫手，報上了另一個關於流浪地球的題目：流浪地球是最高的證據，“我們中國人不會強調個人英雄主義，我們集中力量去辦大事。不同於美國的個人主義，集體主義是一種特屬於中國的特質。”Guan通過了這個報題。

Guan將她的注意力轉移到了一名叫做Deng He的作者身上。這名作者以爆款文所知名。那些文章能夠獲得數十萬詞的點擊與分享。在北美留學生日報的辦公室裡，全都是26歲的Deng的照片。他有一個外號叫做He-He（鶴）。在照片裡，He-He擺弄著自己的頭髮，在鏡頭面前就像一個明星一樣。

He-He正坐在一個旋轉椅上，拿著巨大的爆米花桶。在同一個辦公室的牆上，貼上了一個禁用詞的清單，以及關於圖片的檢查規範（請不要使用國家領導人的圖片，如果你必須使用，請與負責文章的人討論。），以及一個現金獎勵系統，激勵那些能夠吸引點擊量的作品。超過100萬閱讀量的文章可以獲得1000美元。 “每個人都在學習He-He的寫作風格。”Guan對所有人說：“他們會問自己，He-he會如何去寫這個話題。為什麼He-He的文章能夠有那麼高的點擊量。 ”她直接問到Deng：“告訴我們你如何寫作，讓大家從你身上學習。”

He-he（鶴）身穿黑色連帽衫，眼睛盯著桌子，轉移了話題，挑選了一篇文章為例。

就在本週二，他的最新作品“我給敘利亞的朋友看除夕中國放鞭炮的視頻，他哭了……”成為了最受歡迎的爆款文章，僅僅5天時間瀏覽量就超過了70萬。在這篇文章裡，他使用了第一人稱，講述了當年他和朋友優素福的一些往事，兩人此前在美國高中相識。

內文寫道“當他向優素福展示春節慶祝活動上燃放煙花的視頻時，優素福哭了。這些爆炸似乎讓他想起了家鄉的戰爭，那場戰爭殺死了他的多名家人，包括他的弟弟阿齊茲(Aziz)，阿齊茲被炸成了兩半。”

鶴告訴整個編輯團隊：“我們需要把事實和感受結合起來，就拿這篇文章來說。我們的工作就是，既要呈現有現實的東西，也要有思想的東西。否則，就會缺乏情感吸引力。”

二、在美國很難找到不接觸“北美留學生日報”內容的中國學生

北美留學生日報成立於2014年，當時創始人林果宇最初在北京以個人的名義進行運營。但是現在，北美留學生日報已經發展到北京有30名員工，紐約有15名員工。

這個公眾號的初期只針對出國留學生，可以被看作是一本帶領留學生融入校園的生活指南，以前的內容基本是”如何提高平均績點和為期末週衝刺”等。

但隨著時間的推移，尤其是在2016年美國大選之後，它逐漸變成了今天的“獨具一格”的特色報導:更傾向於推送帶有民族主義色彩的中國新聞、關於中國留學生在海外生活的報導(性、毒品、謀殺和失踪女性頻繁出現)、以及一些來自美國和名人世界的新聞。

就在2016年美國總統大選期間，北美留學生日報送了一條“用替身？換將？命不久矣？希拉里總統之路或要提前結束了”。就在最近，還有一篇“特朗普躲過一劫！通俄門調查結束了，他沒事了……”,其他的包括“ISIS被徹底消滅了！最後一批IS被剿滅，但是世界變得更不安全了”、“好萊塢性感亞裔女神，初戀就是吳彥祖，迷倒全世界型男…”。

“北美留學生日報”的微信平台擁有160萬粉絲，日活躍讀者超過100萬，是日益增長的中國“自媒體”之一，也被稱為“新媒體”，它們與政府沒有從屬關係，主要通過以微信為主的中國社交媒體與訂閱者產生聯繫。今天，在美國很難找到一個不常接觸“北美留學生日報”內容的中國學生，不管他們是有意還是無意。即使你不訂閱，也無法避免在瀏覽微信朋友圈或者微信群時看到被他人分享在內的“北美留學生日報”故事。此外，中國的官方媒體也經常轉發或匯總“北美留學生日報”的內容，這些都助長了它被更廣泛的讀者所認知。

“北美留學生日報”的潛在讀者—那些正在或渴望出國留學的中國學生—正在迅速增長。僅2018年，就有36萬多名中國學生註冊了美國的大學，這一數字比10年前成4倍增長。來自中國大陸的留學生佔全美留學生總數的三分之一，數量超過了排名第二和第三的印度和韓國留學人數總和。

在多數情況下，這些學生不會選擇在CNN上觀看美國大選，也不會在Twitter上獲取網絡最新情報，卻習慣從“北美留學生日報”的微信文章中截取的網絡片段中獲取類似的消息。 “北美留學生日報”曾有一篇題為“實錘！美國1%的富人坐擁40%財富，貧富差距退回百年之前”的文章，原版是《華盛頓郵報》(Washington Post)一篇關於伊麗莎白·沃倫(Elizabeth Warren)的財產稅計劃的文章集合體，“北美留學生日報”在自己版本的文章上點綴著花哨的圖片與gif動圖，其中包括三隻貓、兩隻鴨子和一個天線寶寶。

三、“北美留學生日報”使用了145次“辱華”字眼

“北美留學生日報”有時會將怒氣撒在毫無戒心的中國公民身上。 2017年，一個名叫Yang Shuping 的中國留學生在馬里蘭大學發表畢業典禮演講，稱讚她在美國找到的“甜美自由的空氣”。隨後，“北美留學生日報”發表的一篇名為“馬里蘭大學中國留學生畢業演講涉嫌辱華：我在美國吸到的空氣都是甜的”，被中國媒體廣泛報導。 Yang成了中國網絡欺凌的目標，並刪除了她的個人網站和社交媒體賬戶。 (“辱華”是“北美留學生日報”文章裡的熱門詞彙，截至今年2月，該詞已使用了至少145次。)

“是的，中國有空氣污染，”北美留學生日報回擊Yang的演講時說，“但是美國的空氣真的這麼好嗎？你是不是每天都要對紐約市充滿小便味道的空氣深吸��口氣呢？“(這一段是由北留的紐約辦公室發出的。)

2017年北留的另一篇標題為“出國的女生，請遠離這些外國渣男！警惕這些“洋”套路” ，文章用圖片展示了一名身穿毛時代製服的白人男子。而這些照片是一個住在中國的英國人的照片，他和這個故事沒有任何關係。這名男子震驚地看到自己的照片在網上瘋傳，他在微信朋友圈上問道：“我做了什麼？”話尾添加了一個哭泣的表情符號。

“北美留學生日報”的“成功”在一定程度上可以歸因於它缺乏直接的競爭對手。中國主流媒體傾向於將海外的中國學生視為一群被寵壞的孩子，官方有時會質疑他們（對國家）的忠誠。美國當地中文報紙常年服務於較年長，且不那麼富裕的中國移民。中國留學生在本地的中文報刊出版物中很難找到與他們的日常生活或情感可以產生共鳴的地方，並且他們中的很多人會覺得英語新聞很難讀懂。

2012年4月，南加州大學工程專業的同為23歲的研究生Qu Ming和Wu Ying，坐在離學校不遠的Qu的車裡被人槍殺。在報導這宗雙重謀殺案時，中文媒體常以類似的細節帶節奏：兩人死亡的車是一輛寶馬，這是財富和地位的象徵，遣詞酌句中帶著這樣一種暗示，暗示著一種導致犯罪的奢華生活。

《每日郵報》(The Daily Mail)等英文媒體撿起（中文媒體的）線索寫到：“他們在炫耀自己的財富”：無情的中文媒體說，兩名南加州大學學生在豪華寶馬車中被殺，是因為他們的車。 ” 那篇報導最終引發了強烈的反擊。中央電視台(CCTV)採訪了Qu的室友，室友指出那是一輛二手車，並通過網絡攝像頭展示了他和Qu居住的公寓，他們共用一張桌子，睡在直接鋪在地板上的床墊上。

林果宇在創辦“北美留學生日報”時說，Qu和Wu的謀殺事件明確了他的使命。他說，中國留學生需要有媒體來更好地反映他們的利益，為他們展現媒體的熱心與同情心。他在2015年的一次採訪中說：“我們致力於為海外學生和他們周圍的社區提供有價值的報導和富有同情心的故事。”

四、“新媒體是一種低投入、高回報的產業”

林果宇，“北美留學生日報”的CEO、創始人和總編輯，今年30歲。他開玩笑說，自己的年齡在這個行業已經算是“老年人”。他對我說，“這是一個90後或95後的世界，真的。” 我只在電話里和林果宇聊過，但他在互聯網上是一位交錯於華爾街兄弟和典型的中國CEO之間的形象：黑框眼鏡、正式襯衫、筆直的站姿、嚴肅的目光。

他很少談論自己，他的傳記也不完整。他出生於中國東北遼寧省的大連市，遼寧與朝鮮接壤。他告訴我，他在俄亥俄州的邁阿密大學(Miam University)學過會計，並加入了一個大學聯誼會，不過他強調，加入是為了建立人際關係的機會，而不是為了“愚蠢的飲酒”。他說：“那些純粹為了玩耍的場合對中國學生或華裔美國人沒有那麼大的吸引力。”

2012年大學畢業以後，他去了矽谷的普華永道會計師事務所（PricewaterhouseCoopers）做審計員，但隨後決定回國。 “我有一種強烈的失落感，問自己是否在浪費時間。”他說。中國的2010年代初，是創業公司的黃金時代。美團（中國版Groupon）創建於2010年。同一年創建的小米，後來成了華為和蘋果在中國市場的強勁競爭對手。 2012年創建的滴滴，後來買下了優步中國，現在正雄心勃勃進軍南美市場。 2011年誕生的短視頻平台快手，現在每月擁有數億的活躍用戶。 2011年出現的聊天應用微信，表面看起來與之前的聊天軟件沒什麼不同，卻迅速成為中國人社交生活的核心，目前每天都有10億的活躍用戶（而Facebook全球所有用戶都加起來，也只有16億）。

2015年，林果宇從投資人徐小平那裡得到100萬元人民幣（約15萬美元）的投資。徐小平是新東方的創始人之一。新東方作為中國最大的語言培訓連鎖機構，1993年起幫助了無數中國學生以流利英語考過托福和雅思，並從此進入外面的世界。 2017年底，北美留學生日報完成總金額將近300萬美元的A輪融資，其中一個投資方是微信的母公司騰訊。

“投資者認為，新媒體是一種低投入、高回報的產業。”林果宇說。 “關鍵是，如何將數據變現。微信廣告，正變得越來越重要。” “北美留學生日報”現在的廣告主包括，新東方及其他語言培訓機構；金融服務，比如銀聯；中國電信；以及電子商務巨頭天貓。

五、“北美留學生日報的文章精確反映了自己讀者群對美國的幻滅”

“這些廣告的繁榮，證明了中國網民對微信的高度依賴。”加州大學伯克利分校教授蕭強說。谷歌、Facebook、Instagram和推特在中國都無法使用，所以在美國的中國留學生與國內親友的聯繫高度依賴微信。同時他們也用微信閱讀與中國有關的新聞。

蕭強說：“如果他們在國內的時候，每天在微信上花五六個小時。那麼出國以後，他們仍會每天花五六個小時。對他們來說，出國不出國，沒什麼區別。”

蕭強說，像中國許多網絡公司一樣，北美留學生日報選題很謹慎。 “所以，就只剩吃喝玩樂和支持官方的內容了。”蕭強說。地攤小報風格的標題加軟性的宣傳屬性，同時吸引了讀者、投資人和政府。

北美留學生日報有時候會從右翼陰謀論媒體infowars和俄羅斯官媒“今日俄羅斯”收集素材。北美留學生日報曾以俄羅斯衛星社某造謠文章為基礎，宣稱在敘利亞救助傷員的“��頭盔”志願者組織“比ISIS更加邪惡”。

美國2016年大選剛結束不久，北美留學生日報曾發布一篇文章：《美國媒體人：大選期間我們不再是記者，而成了希拉里的啦啦隊！》。這篇文章的內容來源之一，是時任紐約時報出版人的Arthur Sulzberger Jr.給報社同事的公開信。但他信中的內容與北美留學生日報文章的內容完全不同。

林果宇說，北美留學生日報的文章精確反映了自己讀者群對美國的幻滅，尤其是將美國與中國比較之後。 ”“2016年大選之後，我們的讀者看到當今美國社會有多麼撕裂。 ”他說。“他們看到自由給社會帶來的混亂。同時，中國社會秩序井然，積極正面，繼續前進。這讓中國留學生改變了自己對世界的看法。這意味著，如果我們寫批評中國的文章，或者對美國唱讚歌，讀者就不會再喜歡我們。 ”

前些天，美國阿爾帕索和戴頓相繼發生大規模槍擊之後，北美留學生日報發文章解釋為什麼那麼多美國人擁有半自動武器。文章說：“那是因為，在美國，當你的生命受到威脅時，警方沒有義務保護你。”

六、“老實說，這純粹是捏造的”

Deng He（鶴）結束了一場員工會議後，我終於在午餐時間對他進行了當面採訪。（Deng最近從北美留學生日報離職，入職一家中國的廣告公司。）出了辦公室，他似乎沒那麼拘束了，談起工作時更是神采飛揚。他畢業於Dallas的Texas大學，擁有市場營銷學的碩士學位，畢業前曾在中國的公關公司實習，去年進入北美留學生日報。他說：“我們的微信賬號代表了我們老闆林果宇的聲音，我們只是跟著他的指令幹活。” “從我入職那天起，我就嚴格聽從老闆的指示，他讓我寫什麼我就寫什麼。或者說，什麼東西流行，我們就寫什麼。”

一天在下班時間，林果宇給他打電話，說自己看網絡熱門視頻的時候出現一個想法。林果宇讓Deng He 寫一篇敘利亞朋友的故事，此人在中國看到春節爆竹時想到自己戰火中的故鄉。然後Deng創造了文章的細節，包括作者與這個敘利亞人從高中起就是好友，敘利亞人死去的弟弟等等。（最開始的時候，林果宇拒絕就此文是否捏造進行評論。第二次被問到此事時，他徹底否認了此文屬於捏造的說法，轉而宣稱文章的基礎是自己的親身經歷。北美留學生日報的合夥人兼經理牛承程Susanna Niu則說，那篇文章所有細節全部屬實。）

我向Deng He詢問，為什麼他覺得這篇文章能引起這麼多觀眾的共鳴。

“老實說，這純粹是捏造的，” Deng He回答說。 “一切都是虛構的。我不確定我是否做對了，但這是老闆讓我寫的。”他還說，“我認為，如果一個新媒體賬號想要打動別人，你必須要讓他們覺得這是真實的。”

接著，他一口氣說出了當時轉載那篇文章的其他自媒體，裡面甚至還包括在中國影響力巨大的官媒。

Deng He說:“不管你寫什麼，總有人會罵你。但儘管如此，你還是在從他們身上賺錢，就當向他們收智商稅了。”

我與北美留學生日報的一名前員工進行了交談，她聲稱對北留會大規模編造故事感到震驚。

但她也很實在地承認了，在中國的新媒體領域，這樣的現象並不令人意外。新媒體風險低，且轉瞬即逝。更多的寫手傾向於講故事，畢竟，“大多數人閱讀只是為了消磨時間，誰會真的來核實真假呢？沒有人會，文章過了讀者們的眼就行，是真是假沒有必要去追究。”

七、陰謀論越離奇，流傳得就越廣

就像北美留學生日報的前員工告訴我的那樣，想要完全解構北留的困難在於，它並不是正規的媒體，缺乏明確的編輯使命，或者是一個清晰的編輯標準。（有幾位前員工告訴我，不同的編輯對所謂的標準要求都是不一樣的）。

如果要按照牛承程的話說，北美留學生日報是一家新聞機構。而Deng He則將之稱為“新媒體”，在這種形式下，像他這樣的年輕作家可以隨意編造故事，創造一種潮流，迅速走紅，創造出一個讀者認為真實的故事。

當我問林果宇，把北美留學生日報的文章稱為新聞或內容是否更準確時，他生氣地回答:“這有什麼區別嗎?”

當被追問他的出版物身份時，林被迫用了個詞“後真相”。

對此，他選擇了《紐約時報》做解釋，他相信事物的真相從本質上是不可知的，熱點新聞的意義在於人們自己對它們的不同解讀。為了能夠更好的闡述自己的理念，他用了一個兼職做性工作者的研究生故事當假設。

“你該如何去定義它?”他問我，“如果是這樣一個故事，標題我們可能會取：'震驚!道德破產!精英學校的研究生去賣淫!'，但也可以是正面的，比如， '勵志！應召女郎考上了名校!'……正確性並不存在，因為它總是相對的。”

林還說：“每當我們說什麼是正確的價值觀時，真正的意思是指那些和自己相同的價值觀而已。“

香港中文大學傳播學學者方可成，自己也開設了一個名為《新聞實驗室》的微信公眾號，主要關注媒體素養。

方可成曾是《南方周末》的記者，在2013年轉入學術界之前，他從事時政報導。早在2000年，當他還是一名高中生時，他想要成為一名記者，當時中國新聞業的空間比較大。 2003年，中國取消了國內收容遣送制度。此前，有關廣州一名民工因未攜帶身份證而被拘留，並在拘留期間被毆打致死的新聞報導鋪天蓋地。

對於如今的國內新聞業，方可成表示嘆息。大批記者離開了這個行業。人們更容易相信陰謀論，和假新聞。

方在最近的一篇文章中寫道，陰謀論越離奇，流傳得就越廣。許多微信用戶正在成為陰謀論的溫床，他們不一定真的那麼討厭美國政客。但有關此類的文章，總是能夠輕鬆逾越10萬+。

八、“我的文章流量可以輕鬆碾壓他們”

再說回林果宇，他曾公開表示了對傳統新聞行業的蔑視。還在自己的微信賬戶上寫道，“我犯過的最糟糕的錯誤是把希望寄託在堅持新聞理想的人身上”。而在2016年，他在接受采訪時說，“這群人只有自己的理想，沒有製造新聞”。

在他看來，“傳統新聞專業的學生傾向於把大量時間花在如何寫一篇文章上，但在新媒體時代，我們希望報導和編輯能夠無縫地銜接，並增強我們對讀者的吸引力，我們不能只是僅僅等新聞發生後，再寫故事。”

當我向林詢問這些過去的評論時，他變得焦躁不安。他說，旨在“改變世界”的報導導致了新聞業的草率無力。當我回答說草率新聞與“堅持新聞理想”完全不一樣時，他的不快變成了憤怒;他告訴我，在採訪時引用受訪者的話（反駁）是不恰當的。 “難道我要告訴你我他媽的是個白痴嗎？”他反問，渴望結束這個討論。

看起來，林似乎並未將公開發布過的文字視為公開記錄。在做這個報導的過程中，我嘗試在北美留學生日報網站中搜索，發現從2016年初到當面美國總統選舉日之間，共有63篇文章的標題中出現了“特朗普”一詞，但他們的微信公眾號中只剩下14個。我問林，北美留學生日報微信公號是否刪除了一些相關故事。他回答說，“它幾乎從未發生過。” 當我提到許多與選舉有關的文章似乎已被刪除時，他毫不猶豫的說，“我們自願刪除了2015年和2016年的所有文章。 ”

林說他的批評者，包括方可成和“新聞實驗室”，因為對希拉里敗選感到沮喪不安，才來針對他，因為他曾預測特朗普會贏。 “有一群人，即使受過美國大學訓練的新聞專業的學生，因為有怨恨，他們不適合向海外華人學生提供信息，”林說， “他們不是主流。我的文章流量可以輕鬆碾壓他們，因為群眾的眼睛是雪亮的。我討厭那些傲慢自大又說讀者可悲可憐的人。這樣既不民主也不自由。“（在我們其他談話中，他將自己與特蕾莎·梅和馬丁·路德·金相提並論）

我和一些批評“北美留學生日報”的人談過，我從未聽到有人說它的讀者可悲。事實上，他們都對現在的中國留學生表示了極大的同情。他們覺得，真正令人不安的是，許多中國人習慣於將說實話視為製造麻煩，這會導致他們刻意與事實保持距離。在網上中國年輕人中流行的一句話說：“我只是一個吃瓜群眾。”這意味著一個人只是一個被動的旁觀者，既沒有途徑也沒有興趣知道真正發生了什麼。

九、“但我想如果不看新聞，也不會有任何損失。”

22歲的Huang Yijie 是紐約大學二年級學生，也是北美留學生日報的讀者。他留平頭戴著黑藍框眼鏡，與我們見面時穿的藍色針織套衫搭配很好，他表現得禮貌而充滿希望。他在微信上有近3000名朋友，其中700多人是北美留學生日報的訂閱者。

作為一個中國沿海城鎮富裕家庭的兒子，黃在15歲時抵達美國，進入馬里蘭州的一所高中。 “以前回到家裡，我就是一名安靜的中學生”。他說， “來到美國之後，有很多機會參加各種活動，比如學校選舉，我以前從未經歷過這些事情。”在高中時，他開始以弗蘭克的名字成為班長。

我們坐在他宿舍的地下室公共休息室聊天，他瀏覽了他的iPhone XR手機上的聊天記錄，並解釋了各種微信群的目的：二手物品交易，晚飯聚餐，寫作課，找人合租以便下學期離開紐約大學宿舍。還有一個微信群為新來的留學生提供了疫苗接種，購買健康保險和考駕照的建議。距離新的學期還有六個月，但是2023屆的紐約大學中國留學生的微信群裡已有500名成員。

黃有著積極的社交生活，但他說，這個城市可能是一個孤獨的地方。 “紐約市的一個特點是街上的每個人都戴著耳機，當你獨自散步或吃飯可能會很孤獨。“他通過播客和在線閱讀驅趕自己的孤獨感。他每天大約看“北美留學生日報”兩次，他告訴我，他特別欣賞對中國學生在美國校園遇到偏見的報導，比如一些教師強迫中國留學生在校園公共場所必須說英語的事件。 “我喜歡了解世界各地發生的事情，”他說。

我問他那些來源不靠譜的文章，比如關於敘利亞朋友的那篇文章。他的回答讓我想起了薛定諤的貓。 “在我的心裡，”黃說，“他們既不是真的也不是假的。”

當我問黃是否認為新聞行業很重要時，他停頓了一下。然後他說，去年夏天，他去朝鮮旅行，根本沒有看新聞。 “我真的很喜歡看新聞，”他說。 “但我想如果不看新聞，也不會有任何損失。”

備註：

本文編譯自《The New Yorker》（《紐約客》）：The “Post-Truth” Publication Where Chinese Students in America Get Their News （後真相時代媒體：在美中國留學生從這裡查看每天的新聞），英文報導鏈接：

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-post-truth-publication-where-chinese-students-in-america-get-their-news

.(tagsToTranslate)Media 全球媒體(t)《紐約客》起底北美留學生日報如何收取“智商稅”：全靠編故事(t)kknews.xyz from 《紐約客》起底北美留學生日報如何收取“智商稅”：全靠編故事 via KKNEWS

#業內資訊 #紐約客起底北美留學生日報如何收取智商稅全靠編故事

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