#Xennial

[merakisphere]

This was probably my favourite 90s childhood object. Had me feeling like I was living in the year 3000 back in the day (1989). Every piece is hand-made, and shoppable on my Etsy Shop | Website ...Cool beans!!

[brightlotusmoon]

All of it. I have done all of it.

[fellthemarvelous]

Just noticed you called yourself "Eldest Millennial."

Is that like, you consider yourself part of the crew or are you claiming the title? (Personally hope you've claimed the title after a Battle Royale with the other January '81 babies.)

Nah I can't claim the title because I was born in really early March of 1981 (I was born two weeks after my due date so clearly I wanted no part of any of this), but I've almost always been the oldest in all my friend groups.

I might change it to "geriatric millennial" just for funsies. ⏳

[rustbeltjessie]

You Might Be An Xennial If...

you don't even (whatever whatever what-ever) care that you'll never recover from the recession

Empire Records was your favorite film & like, who needs a job with a decent paycheck & benefits when you can be a tattooed gum-chewing freak forever?

damn the man!

you remember dial-up modems, AOL chat rooms, web page guestbooks

you ever made mix tapes (& later made the transition to mix CDs but some long nights you long for those days spent pressing record & play.)

you grew up playing Oregon Trail & part of you can't help but think your demise will arrive like death did in that game, driving an 8bit Conestoga, telling you: you have died of cholera, you have died of dysentery.

you have died of exhaustion.

no one wants to claim you once you were a Gen-Xer but they kicked you out & you know you're not a Millenial cuz, like, you still use soap & napkins & drink beer, & go to Applebee's once or twice a year.

New Kids on the Block was your boy band & you came of age during the heyday of third-wave ska, learned to skank at summer camp after a few sweaty rounds of spin-the-bottle & from them on got sorta turned on every time you heard

pick it up! pick it up! pick it up!

you wonder at the ways of the younger generations, so many of them eschew sex & cars, but back in your day, there was no greater insult than you're a virgin who can't drive

you heard a lot of whispered innuendo when Clinton was prez, adults snickering about what happened under that table when they thought you weren't listening like you didn't know what a blowjob was? like you'd never been asked

spit or swallow?

you gave your first blowjob at twelve bestowed the back of your throat to an older boy hoping he'd splatter his coolness back onto you; twelve was the age you developed a taste for several oral fixations—cocks & tongues, joints & cigarettes

you had a lot of firsts at twelve, like, that was the year you wrote your first zine, the year you first tried suicide, yeah there were enough things making you feel so shitty you wanted to die, even when you were twelve

the year punk broke (your heart)

you were too young to see most of the cool '90s bands live, but old enough to be devastated when their lead singers killed themselves or o.d.'d—you had your first cigarette the day Kurt died, stood huddled in mourning

outside your school with all the other weirdos with their black clothes & nicotine haloes, someone passed a cigarette to you & you smoked it while a boy you knew bloodied his knuckles on the brick wall while muttering fuck you fuck you fuck you & the world was ending

Y2K was your armageddon, you were eighteen, so full of whitehot fury you wanted to see the world all burning skies & shattering glass, but nothing happened so you shot up & passed out in your boyfriend's bed

the world has been ending ever since you were born, & you spent so many years trying to end your life in both direct & oblique ways, you never thought you'd live past twenty-one, & maybe what really defines your generation

is that self-destructive impulse, cuz your heroes were suicidal rockstars & you grew up aware of chemical warfare & species extinction & your own downward mobility & your older siblings raised you on the gospel of Gen X slackerdom, so, like, whenever an adult asked what you were going to do with your lives you responded in unison

planning for the future? ugh, as if!

—Jessie Lynn McMains, from forget the fuck away from me (Bone & Ink Press, 2019)

[faye-tale]

[razorsadness]

Xennial

Let's drive to Blockbuster with the windows down blasting Ani DiFranco's Untouchable Face. Take an hour to pick out movies, one old and one new. Buy Raisinets and microwave popcorn at the cash register and have a truly unremarkable evening in your parent's basement. We can drive home the long way and stop in the park to make out and split our last Camel Light, side by side on the swings, the only sound that metallic creaking back and forth.

—Alix Klingenberg

[one-odd-ood]

Unknown here; can confirm.

#old

#but also not?

[epitome-the-burnkid-viii]

[thebonesofhoudini]

If the 2000s were defined by Technology and The Internet (mainly gadgets that became outdated and websites we don't anymore).

Then the 2010s were defined by Smartphones and the Internet.

Which makes me think the 2020s will be defined by all the nasty aftereffects of the Technology and the Internet being a "thing" for over 20 years. Smartphone addiction, social media burnout, increasing rates of anxiety and depression, a general loss of social skills amongst certain generations, and other things and stuff that society hasn't touched on.

20 years ago people weren't glued to their phones at all. Then again 20 years ago, all phones could do is take and make calls, and send and receive texts and voice messages. Now, the average phone is basically a mini computer.

Some people will have the TV on in their living room, while their laptop is on their lap or desk, while they are looking at their phone. With endless visual overstimulaltion. I wonder how good this is for mental health in the long-term. If anything, it can't be good.

[performing-personhood]

Yall already know I'm An Old™️ but join me now because I'm indulging in a little foray into my Oldness.

I don't think "hipster" has been a thing for a while, but I assume we all understand that hipster is defined as "someone who is a pretentious snob about something innocuous." It's the sneering superiority of a "I liked it before it was cool, you hadn't heard of it". Right? Ok so now that we've defined our terms, we can move on.

So, I allow myself the luxury of being a hipster about precisely two things, and two things only. Because I actually did like them before mainstream culture got a hold of them, and I never won't be a tiny bit giddy when I think of where we started vs what it is now.

Good Omens is the first one. I wouldn't be diagnosed with adhd until my mid-thirties, which I mention because it should carry some weight when I say that this novel remains the only book I ever read cover-to-cover eight times. If I had to shortlist five my favorite novels, Good Omens would easily make the cut. The show is the ultimate book-to-screen adaptation of all time, including Peter Jackson's "Lord of the Rings," and I've got a little tent and plenty of rations and I am ready to die for my cause on this hill. My beloved first edition and its crumbling dust jacket are prized possessions. I am so proud to have known her when.

But the second one, oh I'm proud of that one too.

When I was a teenager, I read a book by an author named Gregory Maguire. I couldn't put it down. It was captivating, painting a picture of an innocent life borne of a drug-using, neglected and neglectful mother. A life lived as best they could under unending prejudice and cruelty, which produced a person so misunderstood that even their attempt at social good was painted as evil, even when they were only trying to protect their paraplegic sister. Whose oldest friend put ambition and homewreckery before a friendship that stretched back into adolescence. A person who lost absolutely everything and then their life, only to live on in the infamy of a twisted and maligned legacy. The story of a girl born with horrible birth defects: deathly allergic to water, and skin the most peculiar shade of green.

I had never before read a story told from the villains point of view, especially not one that corrected me so firmly on my definition of "villain." It changed me.

Anyway, Wicked is finally getting its movie after easily a decade of murmur and rumor. I wish I could tell you all how giddy and handflappy and feet-kicky I got when the trailer aired unexpectedly. I don't even care if the movie is hot trash, I will be happy to see its evolution regardless. Because after all, I know the truth, I was there at the beginning..... I liked it before it was cool.

By the way, and I'm sorry to be This Guy, but if you've only seen the musical then you have missed half the story, because the original ending could not be fit into the format of a stage musical. They had to Disney-fy it in order for the story to work (a choice I do not begrudge them.) The original ending ripped out my soul through my teeth. I still think about it.

[brightlotusmoon]

My friend Jen on Facebook:

"I was born in 1972. I grew up in the era before home answering machines were a thing, so you were socially obligated to answer the phone, no matter what time it was.

Then home answering machines became a thing, and the initial social convention was that it was "rude" to let the machine get it if you were home, even if you were in the middle of doing something.

Then Caller ID became a thing, and initially it was considered "rude" to ignore a call if it was someone you didn't want to talk to, for whatever reason.

Now we've reached the point where cellphones with Caller ID and voicemail are so commonplace, it's now considered "rude" if someone decides to get a stick up their ass because when they called, *gasp* not only did the person on the receiving end not pick up immediately, they actually made Caller wait before calling them back! Eff that noise. My time is my own. If it's not convenient for me to answer the phone right this instant, leave a VM. If someone would rather be annoyed that I didn't answer instantly, and they'd rather not leave a VM just so they can stew in their own righteously indignant juices, not my problem."

[thelostgirl21]

When you realize that you're among the very first Millennials to now have the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

[queenofthedorks]

Beverage holders, lap blankets, and gift cards for coffee or alcohol are the default xennial-millennial gift.

Seriously, my cousins and cousin-in-law have basically given each other some variation on this gift for the last decade, and yet we are all excited to get it each time.

[crystalcisme]

It's weird that I'm in my 40's but also cool

[jeff-rose]

It's hard not to have an emotional connection to this song if you're part of the Gen-X or Xennial generations. 🐸🌈🎵