#Ashton in world of horror

[yudol-skorbi]

these sure are....a hell of a bells......

[caeslxys]

Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of Aeor—Cassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugees—is that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.

Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Gods’ motivation for all of this was—whether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortality—for me it is a very healthy dose of both—but for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.

Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.

So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fear—what is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.

I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worship—and how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.

I think it’s completely fair to judge Aeor’s overall society as deeply corrupt—it was!—but its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corrupt—it is!—but its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.

Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?

I’ve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I don’t think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her mother—who herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact same—her family—but when it’s the Gods it’s justified? When it’s the Gods, it’s sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than “they’re family”?

I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly don’t agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isn’t really at all about their motivation or their family. It can’t be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as “they’re family”. These are your children. They are your family, too.

[arabella-strange]

imo the Grand Demon of Loathing is going to hit them all with reasons they hate (or could hate) themselves already:

Dorian's is all the reasons he was in the closet, all the reasons he was overshadowed by Cyrus, all the people he failed to be good enough to help (all the reasons someone he might love would not want him)

Imogen is her father's disgust, Liliana's choosing power over love for her daughter, Imogen's hypocrisy of also wanting power for personal gratification and lying to her friends (and herself) about it, her deep deep desire to be normal and the knowledge that she was a freak instead, her inability to save Laudna and her own doom to be alone (and deserve it)

Ashton's their many many failures, the times when they should they could rise above others and proved how pathetically they fall instead, it's FCG's death and the Nobodies' departure and parents who didn't care about them enough to reject power -- and their inevitable same fate, and all the reasons they deserved to be left behind

Orym's is being just a small little guy, just a toy soldier in front of a monumental horror, his inability to save people, and his inability to stick to his own better principles when those he loved most would have wanted him to (the ways he is letting down their memory and dragging down his friends now), and possibly his Fey doom to be alone and shackled forever, because he's just not as powerful, not as strong, not as good as they were or as he tells himself he is

Fearne's is her dark side again, her flightiness and selfishness, all the times she was a ditzy fool in the face of the grave seriousness of the world, all the times she made terrible choices and others paid for it (all the people who were glad they left her)

And perhaps most of all

Laudna's is already out there—all the negging Delilah has done to isolate and control her; it's the way she is powerless and her friends are special, it's that she always drags everyone down and they deserve to be free of her, it's that she is not fun-scary but just a rotten mistake and it would be better if she let herself go and stopped pretending to be worth saving

= Dominox has to be about preying and drawing on the ways that people shrink when they believe they DESERVE the worst of what they get. It's about pure Loathing and "insecurity"—it's the howl of the Abyss.

Fun!

[p.s. I do think Chet's beats coulda been more powerful if Matt had had another week to think of them. Like yes I guess Chet is haunted by accidentally killing people but he has been pretty resilient about that prospect. What he hasn't been so casual about is hurting his friends. It's why he chewed Ashton out so bad after the first Shard incident. It's why he peacocks so hard to all the higher-ups they meet. He doesn't want to be discounted and he really doesn't want to lose another family. I think if he gets Dommed again, it would also have to be about that.)

[littlelesbianknight]

I am going to shatter like a vase as soon as I get to the heavier campaign 3 episodes. want to know how I know this? because I am currently *actually weeping* over ashton buying laudna the world’s creepiest fucking doll

[vintagegeekculture]

The Evil Little Hairy Cave People of Europe in Pulp Fiction

From the 1900s to the 1940s, there was a trendy theme in occult and horror stories that the explanation for widespread European legends of fairies, brownies, pixies, leprechauns and other malicious little people, was that they were a hereditary racial memory of the extremely small non-human, hairy stone age original inhabitants of Europe, who still survive well into modern times in caves and barrows below the earth. Envious of being displaced on the surface, these weird creatures, adapted to the darkness of living underground and unable to withstand the sun, still mean mischief and occasionally go out at night to capture someone.... usually an attractive woman....to take to their dark caves for human sacrifice.

Displaced by the arrival of Indo-European language speakers at the dawn of the Bronze Age, these original, not quite human stone age people of Europe were driven deep underground into caves and barrows below the earth, where they went mad, adapted to the darkness and acquired a fear of daylight, became extremely inbred, in some cases acquired widespread albinism. It is these strange little people who gave the descendants of Europeans a haunting racial dread of places below the earth like mines and caves, and it also is these strange, hairy troglodytes who originally built the uncanny and mysterious menhir, fairy rings, and stone age structures of England, Scotland, and Ireland that predate the coming of the Celts and Romans.

In some cases, these evil troglodytes are usually identified with the mysterious Picts, the pre-Celtic stone age inhabitants of the British Isles. In some cases, they are identified with the Basque people of Spain, best known as the inventors of Jai Alai, and the oldest people in Europe who speak a unique language unrelated to any in the world.

The original codifier of this trend was Arthur Machen, a horror writer who is less remembered than his contemporary, Henry James, but who may be the best horror writer in the generations between Poe on the one end and Lovecraft/CL Moore/Clark Ashton Smith on the other. His story, "the White People" from 1904 (a reference to their strange cave albinism) was a twisted Alice in Wonderland with a girl who is irresistibly attracted to dark pre-Roman stone age ruins and who is eventually pulled underground.

In addition to being a great horror writer, Arthur Machen was a member of the Hermetic Society of the Golden Dawn, an occult organization, and was often seen at the Isis-Urania Temple in London. Many of his works have secretive occult knowledge.

H.P. Lovecraft in particular always pointed out Arthur Machen as his single biggest inspiration, though he combined Machen's dread and occultism with Abraham Merritt's sense of fear of the cosmic unknown, seen in "Dwellers in the Mirage" and "People of the Pit."

Another and scarier example of this trend would be "No Man's Land," a story by John Buchan, a Scotsman fascinated by paganism and horror, who often wrote stories of horrific discoveries and evil rites on the Scottish moors. He is often reduced to being described as a "Scottish Ghost Story" writer, a painfully reductivist description as in his career, Buchan wrote a lot of thrillers, detective, and adventure stories as well. In later life, he was appointed Governor General of Canada, meaning he may be the first head of state to be a horror writer.

It was Buchan who first identified the cave creatures with the Picts, something that another Weird Tales writer decades later, Robert E. Howard, would roll with in the 1920s.

Howard is a very identifiable kind of modern person you often see on the internet: a guy who talks tough, but who was terrified to leave his small town. He created manly man, tough guy heroes like Conan the Barbarian, Kull, and El Borak, but he himself never left his mother's house. It's no wonder he got along well with his fellow Weird Tales writer and weird shut in, HP Lovecraft. With 1920s Weird Tales writers, despite your admiration for their incredible talent, you also can't help but laugh at them a little, a feeling you also apply to a lot of Victorians, who achieved incredible things, but who are often closet cases and cranks who died virgins ("Chinese" Gordon comes to mind, as does Immelmann).

With Howard, his obsession with the Picts and the stone age cave dwelling people of Europe started with an unpublished manuscript where at a dinner party, a man gets knocked out and regresses to his past life in the Bronze Age, where he remembers the earliest contact between modern humans and the original inhabitants of the British Isles, the evil darkskinned Picts. This is a mix of both the "little cave people" story and another cliche at the time, "the stone age past life regression novel," another turn of the century cliche.

Still with the Picts on his mind, Howard would later create Bran Mak Morn, a Pict chieftain, who predated Kull and Conan as his Celtic caveman muscle hero. Howard was of Irish descent and proudly anti-Colonial and anti-British, with his Roman Empire and Civilized Kingdoms as a stand in for the British and other Empires, which he viewed as rapacious and humbug, a view shared by his greatest inspiration, Talbot Mundy. His "Worms of the Earth" gets to the heart of why these little cave people scare us so much: they remind us that we live on land that is impossibly ancient and we don't fully understand at all.

It was another Weird Tales Writer a decade later who wrote one of the last stories about the little hairy cave people of Europe, though, Manly Wade Wellman in 1942. Wellman was mainly known for creating the blond beefcake caveman hero Hok the Mighty set in stone age times, and for his supernatural ghost stories of Silver John the Balladeer set in modern, ghostly Appalachia (like many ex-Weird Tales writers, he made a turn to being a regional author in his later career, in the same way Hugh B. Cave became a Caribbean writer), but Wellman also had a regular character known as John Thunstone, a muscular and wealthy playboy known for his moustache who used his great wealth to investigate the supernatural and the occult. Thunstone had a silver sword made by St. Dunstan, patron of Silversmiths, well known for his confrontations with the Devil.

Most John Thunstone stories featured familiar stories, like a demon possessed seance and so on, but one in particular featured a unique enemy, the Shonokins.

The Shonokins were the original rulers of North America, descendants of Neanderthal man displaced by American Indians. This fear that the land we live is ancient and unknowable and we just arrived on it and don't know any of its secrets is common to settler societies, who often hold the landscape with dread, as in Patricia Wrightson's fantasies of the Australian Outback. It was easy enough to transport the hairy cave people from the Scottish Moors to North America. I suspect that's what they are, a personification of a fear shared in the middle class, that in the back of their minds, that everything they have supposedly earned is merely an accident of history, built by rapacity and the crimes of history, and that someday a bill will come due.

A text page in the May 1942 issue of Weird Tales gives strange additional information on the Shonokins not found elsewhere:

Since then, there have been too many examples of evil cave people who predate Europeans. Philip Jose Farmer's "The All White Elf" features the last survivor of a pre-European people who live in caves. A lot of other fiction of course has featured the Picts, but according to our modern scientific understanding, which describes them as much, much less exotically, as a blue tattooed people not too different and practically indistinguishable from the Celtic tribes that surrounded them, and which they eventually blended into.

[essektheylyss]

I do find it really interesting and almost sad that Ashton sees the titan turned into a home as a monument to hubris, particularly given Ashton's connection to earth primordials.

On one hand, there is the obvious; that the people living in that rock are well aware of its history and power, because this happened well within living memory. Perhaps some of them are laboring under a denial that it could happen again, but overall, Vasselheim of all places does tend, even sometimes to extremes, to remember—it responds quickly and efficiently to the sudden rise of its dead, harbors grudges still toward arcane magic for wizards' role in the onset of the Calamity, and does keep extensive records of history, even historical information that perhaps would be easier to contain if it was altogether destroyed.

So the fact that people have made homes in this titan's form feels far more like both the spite and celebration of having survived yet another horror than any declaration of hubristic supremacy. And on a more basic level, Exandria as an explicitly post-apocalyptic world simply must choose to continue to live, again and again, in the ruins of the circumstances that history has handed them. Societies continue to grow on the Shattered Teeth in spite of its dangers; Xhorhas is full of people living in ruins not of their making, and who still stumble upon horrors left behind that they must and do contend with; the Ashari themselves are built around this principle, of managing the reality of a world with connections to much more inhospitable planes.

But on a more personal level, Ashton has a piece of an earth titan within himself, yet there is a fear within his comments—that perhaps the titan will wake again. That if it returned, it would not be kind. And I wonder: how does that fear manifest for himself?

It's possible that Ashton feels already as though they've stolen (regardless of how voluntary it was) a power that could be taken back. They've already levied the charge of hubris against themself. They seem, of course, to relish their abilities and increasing power, but at the same time, they have exhausted themself to use it. Is there any part of them that still fears that something larger than them will awaken and take back what's theirs? Do they wonder if they deserve the power they now wield, and do they simply presume that one day someone who sees them the way they now see the gods will balance the scales in turn?

Ashton suggests that the footage of Aeor did make the gods more relatable in his eyes, more personable—perhaps he saw himself in their initial giddy reclamation of power, and loathed it in them because he loathes it in himself. And there are numerous others weighing in on the gods, but very few who would weigh in on Ashton himself and thereby push back against any idea of him as unworthy of life while he wields the power he's gained.

[that-ari-blogger]

Critical Role's Cameraman

So, Critical Role (@criticalrole) just released their newest opening title sequence, an animated sequence in the same style of Your Turn To Roll and I would be remis as a film nerd to not pick apart every detail.

What fascinates me about this introduction, however, is the camera movement and shot composition. Allow me to explain.

I DONT THINK THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD, BUT JUST TO BE SAFE

So, we open with a hand, this is a close up, I don't think that is unobvious.

But this stops being a close up rather quickly, before it starts moving away. The shot just gives the hand context, and suddenly you aren't in an extreme close up of a hand, you are in a medium shot of a very large person. Then the camera pans backwards, and you can see villains and places spring up, although the perspective on Matt remains weird. Is he a few metres from you, or a hundred? How big is the Game Master here? There's a sense of mystery, of incomprehension. This is setting up some cosmic horror shenaniganry.

Then, we get Fearne. This is a wide camera motion, swivelling around her in a tracking shot that focuses on her face, and those eyes. It is like a reverse panorama, where Fearne is taking in the world, the world is observing Fearne.

But I want you to take note of the leaves here, because they are used to form a connection between her and Orym. The transition uses them, while it isn't a direct wipe transition (the leaf just flies close to mask an abrupt cut), it is framed as one. The name of that isn't important, though, what's important is the leaves. By being in both shots, they emphasise the relationship between the two characters. But where for Fearn they show off her sense of wonder, for Orym, they take on a very different meaning.

Notice, however, how still this shot is. There is no sense of danger here. This is a scene of a warrior with a sword and two people passing on from this world. But it's calm. Because this is a memory. Orym might not be at peace with the death, but the memory isn't a violent one, it's a memory of his family's lives.

Cut to a close up. Orym creates a gust of wind.

And cut to the next shot.

I will not lie, Bertrand is my favourite character across all of Critical Role, so this shot of him made me smile, but it isn't the point here. The point is Imogen's introduction.

Although is Bertrand not actually the point? Because take a look at how Imogen is shown here. Do you notice anything?

She's shown in the exact same way. Imogen is shown doing the exact same thing that those who have died have done. And she can see them ahead of her. The camera panning back shows a wider perspective here, showing her as she tries to run, tries to get away from the same path as Bertrand.

The wind from Orym's blade that came to this scene gets across a consistent element: Memory. This is a dream. But dreams can become nightmares.

As Imogen loses her footing, the camera gives some of its wildest movements yet. It tumbles around her, then looks up.

The camera stops moving when it sees the red moon, because now the viewer has something to orientate themselves around. There is a constant point, and we can see Imogen falling down. And getting closer, and closer, and closer, until.

These are the three frames in order, there is nothing in between.

Imogen crashes into the screen, and we get an abrupt impact frame (that's the black and white one) then Ashton. This is so cool to watch, in my opinion, but it is quite possibly the opposite of smooth in camera work. So why is it so cool? Motion.

The motion is in towards Imogen and out away from Ashton. They are both falling, just in different directions. And the impact frame both helps smooth over and accentuate the abrupt transition.

The camera around Ashton is a tracking shot. They are falling, but they remain the exact same in the screen (shrinking slightly). The rest of the world moves. And when Ashton lands, the screen cracks. The tracking shot is used to show Ashton's disassociation with their surroundings. Not in a "I feel nothing" type of way, but in a "it's me vs the world" type of way.

Then, there is an abrupt cut away. Nothing hides or smooths this at all, because Ashton's memory isn't smooth, and neither is Ashton. Remember the disassociating thing I mentioned, now it changes again to someone who gets lost in his thoughts. Medium.com calls this an "anxiety stare" and as someone who does that on the regular, I can attest to this abruptness being exactly what that feels like.

I'm not going to talk too much about the ship, but just be aware that there is a Dutch angle (the horison is diagonal) here to heighten the stress of it.

Likewise with this shot, there isn't much to talk about. The slow outward zoom and triangular composition are neat, and the tiered reactions (bottom row reacts, then middle, then Fearne) are amusing, but other than that, not much.

Then we meet Laudna, playing with Pate and giving him life. That's a neat little shot, I wonder if there's a metaphor there.

Oh.

This is a super cool visual because it establishes exactly who this character is in two seconds. But I also want to point out the symmetry of this. The hair becomes the blood which becomes the hair again, and then the tree.

Laudna is introduced as big and scary and imposing, and that is very intentionally undercut by making her look small.

Being small means you are less likely to be the focal character, so shrinking Laudna takes away her agency. Only to give it back through Imogen, and when the camera pans back outwards, Laudna is the same size, but the colours and the surroundings make her feel less alone, and as a weird result of that, less small.

And last but not least in this moment, there is the delayed drop of the hands. Laudna finally feels safe and finally breathes a sigh of relief.

That, however, imediately match cuts to this. FCG's vision. The red tinting has obvious implications that I don't need to explain, but the match cut heavily implies a connection between this group and the Bells Hells. There is a fear that this might happen again made clear by a single transition.

Here's something else. FCG doesn't move. At least, the camera doesn't treat them as moving. It's a slow panning out as if nothing is happening. It's the disassociation vibe that you get from Ashton's falling shots now repurposed to someone who isn't in control of their own actions. This is what FCG is afraid of, this is the important pieces of his character. This is FCG.

And just like Laudna, FCG finally gains agency when surrounded by their friends who hug them, and FCG finally moves.

Chetney Pock O'Pea, outlaw of the RTA, alpha of his own heart. A fundamentally chaotic character who takes rules as suggestions to be intentionally ignored. A man who's first instinct upon meeting you is to consider how you could be killed. And he is introduced whittling, with a steady camera and warm light illuminating his face. This is a peaceful side of Chetney, there is a duality to him.

Speaking of which, notice how Chetney draws back from the light as he transforms. His eyes begin to glow, but they don't illuminate him, until this:

Chetney is now backlit by the cold light of the moon itself (There's a neat reveal of Ruidus caused by the pan, but that's only tangentially relevant). Notice how much further you are from him here than in his first shot. But notice how much of him is visible, and how much of the screen he takes up. It's the same, this is still the same character. It's a true Doctor Jeckyl and Mr Hyde character. This isn't split personality, but a character who can be a different person in each form, while still remaining Chetney at all times.

There is more in this video. I encourage you to watch it, but unfortunately, Tumblr has a limit on how many images I can include, so I will leave you with this final shot. A group of heroes looking up at a threat that is so much bigger than them, a threat that is literally controlling the light. But the Bells Hells are closer to the camera, they take up more of the screen. The battle isn't lost, instead, it is just starting.

[storiesforallfandoms]

Masterlist 3!

Here’s the third masterlist for all of my works! If you want to check out more of my work, here’s the links for masterlist one and masterlist two Imagines marked * are smutty imagines! Imagines marked ` are requests! Imagines marked ⭐ are personal favorites!

IMAGINES

STRANGER THINGS small ~ jim hopper` dance with me ~ eddie munson ⭐ starry night ~ steve harrington* (part five) ⭐ at the hip ~ steve harrington` ⭐ triple date ~ steve harrington (part six) ⭐ the freak ~ steve harrington (part seven) ⭐ oblivious ~ eddie munson ⭐ jason doesn’t know ~ eddie munson ⭐ this is music ~ eddie munson` ⭐

SUPERNATURAL strange human feelings ~ castiel` cleaning ~ dean winchester`

HANNIBAL into fiction` sob story ~ hannibal lecter

THE BOYS obsession ~ billy butcher* ⭐ herogasm ~ soldier boy* ⭐ alone on christmas ~ billy butcher can’t get too close ~ billy butcher ⭐ change in a heartbeat ~ billy butcher ⭐ the bad room ~ homelander ⭐

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY life father ~ diego hargreeves` rescue mission ~ klaus hargreeves’ ⭐

THE LAST OF US (HBO) friendly neighbors ~ joel miller ⭐ too sweet ~ joel miller

BARRY attraction ~ barry berkman` treat him better ~ barry berkman

AMERICAN HORROR STORY late night sins ~ xavier plympton (1984)*`

VICTORIOUS lost dog ~ tori vega` junker ~ beck oliver

HEMLOCK GROVE i don’t ever wanna see you with him ~ roman godfrey ⭐

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES roses are red ~ damon salvatore` ⭐

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH captive ~ blackbeard/ed teach ⭐

PEAKY BLINDERS moved on ~ thomas shelby

FUTURE MAN winner ~ josh futturman* ⭐

GAME OF THRONES littlest lion ~ oberyn martell (part one) ⭐ freedom ~ oberyn martell (part two) ⭐

THE WITCHER destiny ~ geralt of rivia

DOCTOR WHO looks of a princess ~ eleventh doctor ⭐

BRIDGERTON by the lake ~ benedict bridgerton

THE GENTLEMEN the assistant ~ raymond smith ⭐

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN spirit of nature ~ jack sparrow`

THE MAZE RUNNER i’ll keep you safe ~ newt`

MARVEL how things are now ~ marc spector and steven grant` ⭐ kneel ~ loki* the most wonderful time ~ bucky barnes fast ~ pietro maximoff ⭐

1917 early morning ~ will schofield*`

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT happy birthday ~ javi gutierrez ⭐

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S i need someone older ~ william afton ⭐ the ice cream girl ~ mike schmidt

SALTBURN new toy ~ felix catton ⭐ partners ~ oliver quick ⭐

THE SANTA CLAUSE santa’s sister-in-law ~ bernard the elf

8 MILE one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr ⭐

THE FALL GUY the space cowboy and the pa ~ tom ryder

A QUIET PLACE i’d find you in any life ~ eric ⭐

GLADIATOR II betrothed ~ emperor geta ⭐

PETE DAVIDSON your gift` favoritism`

HARRY STYLES the perfect tree a star in the making` sleepy head`

MACHINE GUN KELLY baby mama` ⭐ my queen*` getting your attention*` all the mistakes` not what it looks like` can’t keep doing this*`

EMINEM may the best artist win*` too close for comfort` ⭐ when it’s wrong but it feels right` in the dressing room*` he’s acting different` we have to stop meeting like this` every inch*` let’s surprise the world` i’m sorry i let you down`

GOODGUYFITZ wake up call*`

CORPSE HUSBAND letting go` they forgot` ⭐

ASHTON IRWIN home life` cover me*`

CONAN GRAY pushing`

MATTHEW LILLARD accidental drunk confessions`

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE feeling good*`

ALEX TURNER more than a song*` ⭐

BO BURNHAM can’t handle this right now ⭐ look at me*`

KRISTEN STEWART special customer`

TARON EGERTON he already has my approval ⭐

ROBERT PATTINSON my favorite superhero

GERARD WAY good girl*`

GWILYM LEE history repeats itself`

RYAN GOSLING play date`

JOSEPH QUINN bad idea, right? ⭐

RANBOO fluffy haired gamer boy`

JACOB ELORDI height advantage`

MOTLEY CRUE she is mine ~ mick mars`

CHRIS EVANS not used to normal` ⭐

SWAGGERSOULS our next step`

JSCHLATT too far ⭐ the hotel room* ⭐

JOHNNY DEPP just for us`

TRAVIS BARKER the parent trap`

SHIPS

family reunion ~ hermione granger x draco malfoy`

HEADCANONS

showing pedro pascal fan edits ⭐ sitting on jschlatt’s lap ⭐

NSFW ALPHABET

rook (jp capellette)*` eddie munson* ⭐ billy butcher* ⭐

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

EWAN MITCHELL TALKING ABOUT AEMOND TARGARYEN IN EPISODE 3 FOR VULTURE MAGAZINE.

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE EXACT WORDING, BUT I REMEMBER SEEING SOMEONE POST A GIF OF PRINCE AEMOND'S SAPPHIRE-EYEBALL REVEAL AND SAYING, "THIS IS THE MOST ANIME-LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER WHO HAS EVER APPEARED ON A LIVE-ACTION TELEVISION SHOW." THERE'S AN OTHERWORDLY AIR TO HIM.

"So much of the work is done through the costume and the long hair and the eyepatch — because of the talents of makeup designer Amanda Knight and our costume designer, Caroline McCall."

"By taking one look, you can make a rough assumption that he’s probably going to be the bad guy."

"But for me, bringing that otherworldly texture to Aemond, I never watched Game of Thrones, because I wanted to present something fresh."

"I drew on other aspects of pop culture, with ’80s horror icons like Michael Myers: a character who walks so slow but always catches up to Jamie Lee Curtis."

"Aemond hijacks the show and turns it into a horror sequence in the skies above Storm’s End at the end of episode ten of season one."

"It’s this idea of inevitability, something more like an energy as opposed to an actual human being."

"That’s the image Aemond wants to co-opt, that he’s godlike. He operates on a different plane."

"It comes from that cold exterior he’s cultivated over the years, down to the sapphire stone in his eye socket. You don’t know what is going on behind his eye."

THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING VERY "FINAL FANTASY VILLAIN" ABOUT HIM: ELEGANT BUT FIGHTENING.

"You don’t know what he’s thinking."

"People who sit back and smile, don’t say much — they’re the people whose brains you want to pick, but at the same time, you don’t know where you stand."

MY FAVORITE AEMOND MOMENTS ARE WHEN YOU DO GLIMPSE HOW HE FEELS. IN THAT CHASE SEQUENCE ABOVE STORM'S END, AEMOND IS REALLY UPSET WHEN HIS DRAGON KILLS LUCERYS VELARYON. IN THIS SEASON, HE TALKS TO THE SEX WORKER HE'S BEEN SEING ABOUT HOW IT GOT TO HIM.

"I agree. Between episodes seven and eight of season one, he’s manufactured himself into a weapon."

"He possesses this code that stops him from ever being hurt again, like he was as a kid."

"He has to be seen as this bulletproof, untouchable, ethereal presence no one can grasp."

HE BRINGS UP HIS CHILDHOOD IN THE BROTHEL, TOO — HOW HIS BROTHER AND HIS YOUNG UNCLES USED TO PICK ON HIN FOR BEING DIFFERENT. IS ALL THAT IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND EVEN WHEN YOU'RE DOING THE COOL, SAPPHIRE-EYE STUFF?

"Yeah. It’s partly down to seeing the young Aemond actor, Leo Ashton, in episodes six and seven of season one: the boy underneath the veneer."

"This kid was bullied day in and day out for not having a dragon egg like the rest of the kids in the family. He recognized very early on that he was going to have to go out and get what he wanted."

"I always carried that around with me in season two."

"So he ended up claiming the largest, baddest, oldest dragon in the known world in Vhagar. She’s so enormous, she can’t fit within the confines of any castle wall. Aemond is able to identify with that."

HOW SO? THE BULLYING DIDN'T MAKE HIM FEEL SMALLER?

"It’s the story of the underdog. I have this theory that it’s not so much the person who claims the dragon, it’s the dragon who claims the person as well."

"I don’t believe Vhagar is someone you just stumble upon."

"Although Aemond had to seek her out, she must have seen something in him that he himself hadn’t seen yet."

"Aemond’s the kid who held on. When he realized he wouldn’t get a dragon egg like the rest of the kids, he held on."

"When he was bullied for being different, for not having a dragon of his own, he held on. And when Vhagar took off over the beaches of Driftmark in episode seven, he held on tighter than he’d ever done before."

"I don’t know if any of the other characters would have held on as strongly, because they were gifted dragons when they were kids."

"It’s a tremendous feat of courage to approach Vhagar."

"That’s one of Aemond’s redeeming qualities: He possesses a drive."

"Maybe that kid is still underneath that manufactured exterior."

I WAS HONESTLY SURPRISED TO FIND AEGON AND HIS BUDDIES STILL BULLYING AEMOND DURING THE BROTHEL SCENE IN THIS EPISODE. HISTORICALLY, BULLYING AEMOND HAS NOT WORKED OUT VERY WELL FOR PEOPLE.

"Aegon catches Aemond in a vulnerable spot."

"Picking up the script for the first time and seeing those brothel scenes in episode two and three, I saw a brilliant opportunity to offer a rare glimpse of his vulnerability."

"You only ever see him in his Targaryen blacks, so to see him in that world — not only that, but then humiliated by his brother — is quite shocking."

WHEN HE GETS UP AND WALKS OUT WITHOUT BOTHERING TO DRESS FIRST, SO SURE OF HIMSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF THAT HUMILIATION, HE SEEMS SCARIER TO ME THAN WHEN HE'S RIDING ON VHAGAR.

I love that line from Michael Mann’s Heat, when Bob De Niro’s character says, “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.”

"That’s the code his character utilizes so he’s able to maneuver around this world without getting caught by Al Pacino."

"Aemond has a similar code that stops him from being hurt like he was as a kid."

"That’s why he’s able to walk out on the madam in that scene."

"He’s humiliated by his brother and all his crew, and it’s like this switch flips. The madam is no more."

"All of these people in front of him? They mean nothing. He stands up, he owns it — Yeah, I’m bulletproof. Anything you say, it will not work. Like you say, it’s scary."

A LOT OF COMPARISIONS ARE MADE BETWEEN AEMOND AND DAEMON, BUT THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE: DAEMON GETS INTENSELY ATTACHED, WHETHER TO HIS LATE BROTHER KING VISERYS OR TO HIS NIECE AND WIFE QUEEN RHAENYRA. WE'RE SEEN HIM LEAVE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS, BUT HE STORMS OUT, HE DOESN'T GLIDE OUT. THAT'S AEMOND.

"One hundred percent. You rarely see him lose his cool."

"As soon as you start raising your voice and shouting, you lose the power."

"It’s not to say Aemond isn’t as angry as everyone else behind the smile. He probably is. But he’s able to keep a lid on it and channel it in different ways."

IT'S ALSO A NUDE SCENE, AND I HAVE A FEELING YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET A REACTION AT A VOLUME FEW PEOPLE ON THIS SHOW HAVE SEEN BEFORE. DID YOU HAVE THAT IN MIND WHILE SHOOTING IT?

Mitchell says that the dragon-rider’s display, a topic of much discussion between himself and the creative team prior to filming, was a move “encoded in Aemond’s DNA” — a shock tactic designed to demonstrate that this once-bullied boy will never allow himself to be chastened again.

"Scenes like this start with a conversation about how far you’re prepared to go. It wasn’t a choice we made lightly."

"But it’s true to Aemond that he shocks the audience."

"Weakness is not part of Aemond’s vocabulary."

[txttletale]

reverse unpopular opinion: twig

twig's world is really interesting! i love the constant presence of the body horror aspects, i love all the weird biopunk details, and it's one of my favourite cast of wildbow characters. sy is a very fun character to be in the head of for the first chunk of the book before wildbow decides to turn him into the "insane! asylum!" tiktok and his perspective becomes a miserable slog for the entire rest of the novel. Wait im being nice um. Helen and Ashton are there my friends Helen and Ashton :)

[deramin2]

I love the contrast in the different ways to process grief:

Ashton and Laudna laugh as a shield to pretend the horror of the world is so predictable it's comic.

Vs. Orym who just wants to cry but he's forcing himself to be strong for other people.

[talonabraxas]

Medusa by: Clark Ashton Smith (1893-1961)

As drear and barren as the glooms of Death, It lies, a windless land of livid dawns, Nude to a desolate firmament, with hills That seem the gibbous bones of the mummied Earth, And plains whose hollow Face is rivelled deep With gullies twisting like a serpent's track. The leprous touch of Death is on its stones, Where, for his token visible, the Head Is throned upon a heap of monstrous rocks Rough-mounded like some shattered pyramid In a thwartly cloven hill-ravine, that seems The unhealing scar of huge Tellurian wars. Her lethal beauty crowned with twining snakes That mingle with her hair, the Gorgon reigns. Her eyes are clouds wherein black lightnings lurk, Yet, even as men that seek the glance of Life, The gazers come, where, coiled and serpent-swift, Those levins wait. As round an altar-base Her victims lie, distorted, blackened forms Of postured horror smitten into stone— Time caught in meshes of Eternity— Drawn back from dust and ruin of the years, And given to all the future of the world. The land is claimed of Death: the daylight comes Half-strangled in the changing webs of cloud That unseen spiders of bewildered winds Weave and unweave across the lurid sun In upper air. Below, no zephyr comes To break with life the circling spell of doom. Long vapor-serpents twist about the moon, And in the windy murkness of the sky The guttering stars are wild as candle-flames That near the socket. Thus the land shall be, And Death shall wait, throned in Medusa's eyes, Till in the irremeable webs of night The sun is snared, and the corroded moon A dust upon the gulfs, and all the stars Rotted and fallen like rivets from the sky, Letting the darkness down upon all things. Those levins wait. As round an altar-base Her victims lie, distorted, blackened forms Of postured horror smitten into stone— Time caught in meshes of Eternity— Drawn back from dust and ruin of the years, And given to all the future of the world. The land is claimed of Death: the daylight comes Half-strangled in the changing webs of cloud That unseen spiders of bewildered winds Weave and unweave across the lurid sun In upper air. Below, no zephyr comes To break with life the circling spell of doom. Long vapor-serpents twist about the moon, And in the windy murkness of the sky The guttering stars are wild as candle-flames That near the socket. Thus the land shall be, And Death shall wait, throned in Medusa's eyes, Till in the irremeable webs of night The sun is snared, and the corroded moon A dust upon the gulfs, and all the stars Rotted and fallen like rivets from the sky, Letting the darkness down upon all things.

Medusa 'Agol' Talon Abraxas

[charcharbinks333]

★☆about me☆★

a little bit about me, because why not <3

DISCLAIMER: if you know me IRL…. get outta here (unless ur matthew or ashton)

the name is charlie. pronouns are any i guess. i am genderfluid and bisexual. emo i guess? DNI IF UR LOOKING FOR A SB. I AM A MINOR.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

leo sun, leo moon, taurus rising. august 19th. spiritual and pagan, respect all religions.

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some of my amazing mutuals: @hoe4kai @hearts4golbach @sparky4577 @bornandraisediniowa @teapartyprincess4two

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music ~ HER’s, radiohead, weezer, the smiths, the smashing pumpkins, tv girl, sex drive culdesac, frank ocean, childish gambino, kendrick lamar, the beatles, sufjan stevens, mitski, panic! at the disco, pierce the veil (seen live!), blink-182 (seen live!), highschool, the cure, my chemical romance, sleeping with sirens, pigeon pit, peach pit, slipknot, korn, system of a down, strawberry alarm clock, michael cera, we the kings, fleetwood mac, avenged sevenfold, anti-flag, teen idles, chief keef, lil skies, dominic fike, chase atlantic, michael jackson, and more tbh

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movies ~ call me by your name, mean girls, princess and the frog, adult world, megamind, the lorax, the perks of being a wallflower, paper towns, TASM, ITSV/ATSV, deadpool 1&2, coraline, paranorman, hocus pocus, beetlejuice, boxtrolls, kubo and the two strings, the red turtle, scream, then came you (2018), senseless, SLC punk, tangled, my little pony equestria girls/rainbow rocks/friendship games/legend of everfree, big time movie, ferris bueler’s day off, heathers

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tv shows ~ american horror story, community, how i met your mother, big bang theory, school spirits, new girl, rick and morty, brooklyn 99, modern family, AHS. (but i already mentioned that), adventure time, sugar rush (can’t lie it slaps)

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books ~ the perks of being a wallflower, paper towns, the obsession, want to go private?, girl stolen, gone girl, call me by your name, to kill a mockingbird, the tempest, catcher in the rye, around the world in 80 days

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youtubers ~ danny gonzalez, drew gooden, kurtis conner, dylan is in trouble, the sturniolo triplets, filmcooper, sam and colby, jake webber, johnnie guilbert, bobbybroccoli, larray, quen blackwell, carrington

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people i will write about ~ evan peters (and his characters), sam golbach, colby brock, carrington bornstein, jake webber, johnnie guilbert, tyler/hansumfella, milo manheim (and his characters), percy jackson (book/logan lerman version), charlie kelmeckis, matt/chris sturniolo (romantic/platonic), nick sturniolo (strictly platonic), tara yummy (platonic)

❝ rules and boundaries ❞

¡ rules and boundaries for my writing and recommendations !

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i am currently not comfortable with writing smut. the most i’ll write is implied nsfw or lime (teasing and such, between fluff and smut). if it’s recommended i won’t be bitchy, just politely turn it down and we can move on. this may change depending on if i broaden my writing horizons or not.

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any creators that have specified boundaries about fanfiction will not be included, and please inform me if they have specified and i’ve written about them, and it will be taken down immediately.

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do not repost my work onto other websites, such as wattpad or ao3. if you want to translate my work, ask for permission first and keep it on tumblr, and cred ofc.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

im not comfortable writing mlm, or trans!fem reader, as an afab person i don’t think i can get the proper perspective and it doesn’t feel like my place to write that. gn!reader and fem!reader are always the table, however

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if a character is underage, i will not write anything but fluff about them, probably won’t write anything romantic at all, but it all depends.

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i will add onto this if anything comes up and i hope you enjoy my future work :)

love always,

charlie.

[chai-and-cherries]

5 Insanely Underrated (Dark) Queer Book Recs for Your TBR (No Spoiler Reviews!)

I ain’t gonna beat around the bush, folks--this post has been a long time coming. Over the past year, I have somehow stumbled into my new favorite genre, leaving the careful days of YA comforting fantasy reads behind (but not forgotten!). I used to never be one for the dark, grisly, and not so man-made horrors beyond comprehension. But with the help of time, mind devouring storytelling, and gut wrenching emotions the world loves to carve out of us all, tastes have changed! So without further ado, let me recommend 5 of my favorite (darker) queer reads of 2022. Titles are linked to official Goodreads summaries while I have included my no-spoiler reviews below.

Some of these are horror, some fantasy, some tragedy, and most a mix of the above. As the new year draws closer, if you’re feeling ready to branch out (or branch in!!) please consider giving these severely underrated titles a read. And support lesser known authors while you’re at it!

As the title of the post implies, these books tend to brew darker than your average cup ‘a joe. So please heed included trigger warnings and take care! 

1. You Will Love What You Have Killed by Kevin Lambert

(Original title: Tu aimeras ce que tu as tué. English Translation by Winkler Donald).

Genres: Adult Fiction, Horror, Canadian Literature, Queer AF

Review: If you’re not a fan of blood, gore, and every horror under the dying sun, scroll away now. Starting off incredibly strong and incredibly twisted with French-Canadian Lambert’s debut novel, You Will Love What You Have Killed, this novel is neither for the faint of heart nor some of the hard of heart. I went into this book knowing next to nothing about what was in store and left somehow feeling more empty than before. As arguably the darkest and most gory book on the list, this surrealist take on childhood rage and post-humous revenge on the town that discarded you before you had a chance to fight back is bound to haunt you long after you’ve finished it. Lambert’s own style of dark and nauseatingly twisted humor will either seal the deal for you, or leave you running for the hills. To be honest, I loathe this book as much I appreciate the queer, surrealist landscape of apocalyptic vengeance. Brownie points for being flat-out strange.

Content Warnings: if you can think of it, chances are its here. loads of death and murder, including that of children, suicide; ableism; homophobia, transphobia; pedophilia, rape, sexual abuse, explicit sexual descriptions, abortion, necrophilia; animal abuse, killing of animals; child abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse (by the narrator); cancer; 9/11 (comprehensive list via Ashton on GoodReads)

2. Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

Genres: YA Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi/Dystopian, Queer AF

Blurb: In this world on the brink of man-made/god-induced apocalypse, trans-boy Benji has to fight not only to survive a hellscape determined to burn itself to the ground, but also his own role in bringing about the End. Hell Followed With Us is a queer rage manifesto, the gospel for those forced to become monsters by the same society that weaponized and then condemned them for being such. White’s novel not only brought healing to a large part of my own religious trauma, but it helped me embrace the very “monster” the so called righteous would have damned. Because when the world will villianize you anyway, revolution may very well be embracing the monster within--the monster the world forced into being. This one is definitely a keeper, and definitely a re-reader. The character diversity in this book is incredible, also for the simple fact that it isn’t forced or seemingly “trying to meet a quota”, and for canonically calling out [redacted].  

Content Warnings: For a comprehensive list courtesy of the author himself, please visit his website here. 

3. Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca

Genres: Adult Fiction, Horror/Psychological Thriller, Short-Stories, Queer AF

Blurb: Shorter but no less impactful than the rest, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke is a twisted foray into the psychology of human obsession. After reading the blurb, I tried to prepare myself for the following unease and depravity I was promised. And god was that promise delivered on a silver poisoned platter. Set to the backdrop of chat forums and online messaging, LaRocca weaves a sadomasochistic love story between two women searching for deeper connection. But love isn’t exactly the right word, is it? After all, things can only get worse from the start. Suffice to say, wholesome does not live in these pages. And I need more. 

Content Warnings: animal cruelty/death, body horror, gore, mental/emotional abuse, exploration of kink, very toxic example of a dom/sub relationship.

4. Angels Before Man by Rafael Nicolás

Genres: Adult Fantasy, Mythology Retelling, Romance, Paranormal, Queer AF

Blurb: I try not to pick favorites on list recs, but as my most recent read of the year, Nicolás’ debut novel has quickly been shelved in my mind and heart’s hall of fame. Angels Before Man is a queer retelling of the fall of Lucifer from a paradise that may not be as, well, paradise as it seems. With narrative prose so poetic that epics of the ancient world come to mind, and themes of religious rebellion and queer rage reminiscent not only of other novels on this list but also the lives of countless individuals whose love warns at revolution, Angels Before Man tells the story of the greatest disobedience Heaven had to face: the creation of sin, born from the first love that turned a jealous god to rage. As ABM only released weeks ago, I sincerely hope it’s only the beginning for this book and author. Bible? Who needs her. The Word of God? I don’t even know her. I’ve got Angels Before Man. And so will my friends because I’m gifting them this heavenly-gem (heh, see what I did there?) for the holidays. 

Content Warnings: Courtesy of the author himself (list also included at start of book): Blasphemy, off-page sexual assault with related internal monologue post-incident, Self-harm, Atypical depiction of grooming, Animal death, Abuse (emotional, physical), Sexual content, Body horror, Graphic depictions of violence, Incestuous term use, Potential correlation to homosexuality being sinful, Depictions of mental instability

5. Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

Genres: Historical Fiction, Historical Fantasy, Magic Realism, Queer AF

Blurb: Of the 5 recs on the list, I have to be honest and say with full disclosure that this is my one cheat as I have not actually finished it yet. But as I can attest from the 60% progress I have made, along with two of my close friends who recommended her in the first place, Siren Queen is a breath of fresh air in a genre that is understandably stifling at times. Interweaving the monstrous industry of Hollywood with actual monsters, Siren Queen explores the sacrifices made and prices paid for the chance at stardom and just being seen, all while embracing the monster society demands of us. Largely character-driven, this book has been a slower read than the rest, but its commentary on workers’ rights and inequalities, among other social issues often at the forefront of WASPish-run Hollywood, has kept me engaged since the start. 

Content Warnings: racism, racial slurs, fatphobia, violence, family violence, homophobia, sexism, drug abuse, addiction.

[sparring-spirals]

(im extremely caffeinated rn this might not make sense, lets go)

With recent events, absolutely amped for Bell's Hells to become a full manifestation of the concept "horrific force of nature".

Between Orym, and Fearne and now Laudna, plants that grow and sprout and die around them, all the pretty bits of nature as well as the horrifying aspects of it. Waking up with flowers grown over and into you. Branches outstretched like fingertips, roots that can ground and choke. Vines that move on their own and wrap around your neck like a noose. Poisons and toxins growing around you. Out of you. Exquisite. Fantastic.

With Imogen, a storm, raging, crackling, bearing down, rain that could either save you or flood you. The sky turning a deep, deep red, cloud cover and nature gone silent in the face of something awful. Lightning and wind that can tear everything to pieces, that drown out everything else, set things aflame and rip them apart. Sexy. Unparalleled.

With Chetney, a wolf, howling in the distance, bloodlust that crawls in your veins, rage that is bestial and also very, very natural. A wild look in someone's eyes, glint of sharp teeth in the dark, predator and prey and jackrabbitting hearts. Visceral. Passionate.

With Ashton- Time, space, gravity, literal forces of nature, slowling and warping and bending around you. Your limbs inexorably heavy, your feet no longer planted on the same patch of ground, everything going too fast or too slow. Laws of the universe, the things keeping it anchored- all bending around you to swallow you whole. Right before a big ole stone cracks your head open. Horrifying. Inexplicable. (cool as hell).

And even with F.C.G: Something manmade, a pure technological advancement, metal and magic fused. Except: everything about them, their purpose, their kindness- wrapped up in human emotions, feelings and passion. Vulnerabilities too. Insecurities, weaknesses, patterns of mistakes made by all living minds. There is nothing more natural. Nothing more inescapable. Mortifying. Awesome as fuck.

Bell's Hells! Forces of nature! By some broad definition. With all of the inherent horror and menace that term implies. Bell's Hells as a spooky, otherworldly troupe, except everything about them is the worst bits of this world come to life. hell yes.

[towards-toramunda]

I just saw this post: https://www.tumblr.com/multifandom-damnation/734280499157221376/laudna-who-died-in-such-a-terrible-violent-way and as an Ashton and Laudna fan I'd love to hear your thoughts because I feel feral tbh

Heyo I just read through the post, and I honestly don’t know how I feel. Like I agree, but I don’t? Cause this time Ashton woke up surrounded by people who are pissed and angry and distrustful towards him, but they stayed and thats gotta count for something.

Last time Ashton was abandoned out of self preservation from the other nobodies. He didn’t do anything morally wrong, just got caught in a trap that left them on the ground bleeding out as a liability, but this time they fucked over their friends and they know it. They hurt the bell’s hells and they KNOW it, and yet the hells stayed.

But its also more complicated than that because right after coming back Fearne tried to bash his head in and break their hammer, FCG told them they didn’t think he cared about anyone but themselves, Chet told him to leave, Laudna ran away because the eldritch horrors in her mind were making her want to kill him, and Orym didn’t say a word (I know its bc Liam was out but… for character reasons Orym has been silent to Ashton).

But Imogen, angry as she was, just wanted to understand why he did it. Stayed with them even as Laudna ran off clearly not okay. She cared. FCG, even as upset as he was, stayed, explained how he felt and why he felt that way, and asked for better. Chet was harsh as hell, but when Ashton stayed and committed even in a small way to be better he was the first to back them up. Fearne talked to them, and came back, and is still very very angry, but there’s a possibility for growth. And Laudna, after running away from them for fear of betrayal and becoming murderous, made them a doll. She made them something they’ve never had before. She wouldn’t do that if she didn’t care for him (I think thats why they cried. Because he did this shitty thing, but she made him a gift and that showed she cared). She called him a child and said she likes children. (And Orym still hasn’t talked but… we’ll hopefully get to that next episode).

So… yes? It’s bad that Ashton didn’t wake up after dying a second time surrounded by loving friends who went to the ends of exandria for them like Laudna, and maybe they’ll hold some kinda resentment about that, but (unlike Laudna’s second coming) he’s surrounded by friends who he severely fucked over but they stayed.

They told him he could stay.

That they wanted to make things better.

They paused their very important mission to scout on the moon and prevent the end of the world to go on a feywild vacation because they wanted the group to be okay. Even after Ashton fucked up so fucking much.

And isn’t that in itself just fucking beautiful?

Isn’t that proof of some kinda love? Of family even?

I’m not saying Ashton isn’t in a bad place right now they obviously are, but their friends have just proved that they’re not leaving him if they can help it.