#At first I thought the answer would be obvious then I remembered Young Xehanort

[misterbaritone]

Alright one of you yahoos gotta help me with this one: Is Xemnas what Terra would look like at 30? Or is Xemnas what Xehanort looked like at 30?

[starlightwayfinder]

❤️ and/or 💕 for the fanfic writer ask game!

❤️—> Favorite line!

Oh, another one! (I’m going to share more than one line again…haha.)

I’m a softie (well, ✨always✨, but especially) for the wayfinders. Here’s a couple of my favorite lines from Destiny’s Union: 

Terra leaned over and gave Chirithy a small scratch behind the ear.

“Things are better now that we’re together, but we’re all still sad about what happened sometimes.”

“That’s why we have each other,” added Aqua. “To rely on, when we remember the things that hurt us.”

Terra cast a sad smile in Aqua’s direction. “And the things we did that hurt other people.”

“So… you just… embrace all those things..?” asked Chirithy.

“Mhm.” answered Aqua as she cradled it closer. “And speaking of, I think we know someone who could use an embrace right about now.”

💕 My favorite fic?

Yes, I’m going with the obvious choice—The Badlands! 

I’m taking this as an invitation to finally share all of my thoughts about this fic so… it’s going to be a long, excited, caffeine-driven reply, haha.

I started writing The Badlands because Ventus… didn’t really say anything in DR! It was understandable, but still kinda too bad, especially since they confirmed that he trained with Master Xehanort for a year—there’s so many interesting things that they might have talked about. 

Ven was in his dreams, but he’s also from the era of the Keyblade War. Not a Keyblade War fought over the χ-blade, like Xehanort assumes, but still. So I decided to write a fic where Ven kept his memories (and Chirithy too!) during his training. It was exciting in a “BbS meets DR meets UX” kind of way…haha. 

But uh, despite how interesting all that is, obviously Ven’s not in a good situation, so I knew from the get-go this was going to be a sad fic. The way I interpret BbS, MX intentionally isolated Ven in the Keyblade Graveyard so he’d succumb to loneliness/darkness and become his vessel. With his past memories, he’s already feeling very lonely without the other leaders! That’s where Chirithy comes in. They want to be there for Ven, but also don’t want to make his situation worse by getting him punished for spending time with them. 

That was the original premise, but then I had the idea of adding Young Xehanort into the story too. 

(Context just in case: In The Badlands, YX comes to the future for the first(-ish) time—probably only a couple years after the events of DR. He meets with his future self in the Keyblade Graveyard, and looks over and sees Ven watching them! Ven doesn’t recognize him at all, and assumes he’s just a relative of Master Xehanort, which YX plays along with. He hastily chooses the name ‘Hermod’ to introduce himself and… instantly regrets it.) 

The friendship between Ven and ‘Hermod’ was really what made this my favorite fic. 

YX is exactly the sort of person a young Ven would want to befriend. Not only is he an experienced Keyblade wielder, (one powerful enough to be at the top of the rankings, I might add!), but he also shares traits with Ephemer, Brain, Lauriam, and Skuld. 

On the other hand, YX was initially only interested in Ven because he’s in his dreams. They start hanging out after Ven’s training, (which MX allows since, well, it’s himself! What’s the worst that could happen?) and YX asks Ven questions about Daybreak Town, the other leaders, etc.

I regret not actually writing out more of these conversations, because I imagine they were pretty cute. For example: Ven probably showed him some of his medals, and YX gave him some cards in return!

Here’s another scene that never made it into the story (because I decided that YX should keep his dreams a secret): Ven asks YX why he wants to spend time with him of all people. Well, the real reason is because he’s just as lonely as Ven is. But he’d never confess that, so he responds: “I wanted to figure out how you learned to glow.” This makes Ven laugh, but then he admits he doesn’t know how he did it, he just decided that despite all the chaos going on, he wanted to help his friends.

The story picks up again when YX comes to visit Ven, but he’s been injured and is clearly upset. YX presses and eventually figures out that it wasn’t an injury caused by the Heartless, but by his future self. He heals him, but wonders why MX didn’t. I think until this point he was blinded to anything off about the situation because of Ven’s enthusiasm over having someone to talk to, and his own curiosity. But now the reality of it all is falling into place, and just like Ven says, he really doesn’t know what MX is like. 

The first chapter ends with them watching the stars and embracing for the first time. This forces YX to sense the loneliness and heartbreak in Ven’s heart, which he now understands is his own fault. I did like this ending… but I couldn’t get the ideas for other chapters out of my head, and I ended up writing two more!

In the next chapter, Ven is being pressured to use the power of darkness more and more during training. He worries that if he does, Darkness will take over again. Strelitzia isn’t ever mentioned by name, but Ven is thinking of her. Ven and Chirithy try to think of a way to run away, but don’t fully understand that the worlds have split apart, so their gates just lead to other parts of the Keyblade Graveyard. Eventually Ven realizes that YX must know how to do it, because he’s a Keyblade wielder from this time. (Well, he thinks so, anyway.) Ven plans that the next time YX comes to visit, they can ask him for help. (Because friends help each other in chaotic, scary situations, right?)

Ven asks: “Hermod—take me with you!” (Which is actually a very subtle nod to his conversation with Terra in Radiant Garden!) But YX refuses, since he really can’t take Ven to the past. Alternatively, he offers to help Ven use the power of darkness. Needless to say, that doesn’t go over well. Ven runs off, and YX decides to ask MX the real reason behind Ven’s training. 

The big confrontation happens, and YX learns that Ven is a potential vessel, and key to rebuilding the World. Furious at MX for betraying Ven, YX tries to fight him, but is caught off guard by seeing the Gazing Eye Keyblade (which he doesn’t have yet). He is forced to return to the past, and will not return until after Ven’s heart has been fractured. It’s only loosely implied, but after this he’s probably possessed or gives in to darkness, which changes his eye color.

The second chapter ends with Ven thanking Chirithy for being the only one to help him, unknowing that YX actually did try to defend him. Chirithy asks what he’ll do the next time he’s supposed to use the darkness, to which Ven responds: “Everything’s going to be all right.” Hopefully it makes sense that the flashback in BbS is meant to be the following day!

I liked this ending TOO! But. I had more ideas. So here’s ch. 3. 

Well, I kicked YX out in the last chapter, but then I wanted to write more of that scene where they embrace, so I jumped back to the end of chapter 1. (KH-typical time skips. My fics have plenty of those!)

YX talks about his childhood and friends from DR in an attempt to console Ven, but worries that he’s just made things worse by telling him they died. But Ven actually is comforted, realizing that they both lost their friends, yet made new friends by finding each other. YX can’t see their situation that way though, and comes to the conclusion that it’s not worth making new friends when things are bound to change and they’ll eventually be lost. 

The fic really, actually ends with the Mysterious Figure fight in BbS. I realized how cool it would be to see them fight after all they went through in the first chapters, and hey! It was already in the game! 

So, it’s four years later. Ven goes back to the Land of Departure to try to stop Terra and Eraqus from fighting, but it’s too late. YX is also there because he wanted to witness himself killing Eraqus. He decides to fight Ven, both to test him as Eraqus’ student, and because they were friends. He can’t use his DR Keyblade anymore because of how much his heart has changed, so he fights with the Ethereal Blades. The fight ends, leaving Ven confused as to who the figure was, if not someone else after the χ-Blade. But regardless, he still needs to find Terra, and there’s only one other place he could be. The place where the story began… The Keyblade Graveyard.

So there it is! The Badlands, my beloved; born of my UX/DR/BbS obsession. (Not to mention my love for the DR secret ending. So many of my fics are about Xeha meeting the friends he wished for…) 

My other regret is that Ven never learned who ‘Hermod’ really was… Usually with stories built around a lie, there’s a big reveal where the truth comes out! But I don’t know… how do you think Ven would have responded to learning that his friend was actually a young Master Xehanort?

[shyly-yours]

not too obvious

notes: was inspired by a reddit snapshot. it’s really quite adorable.

---

“Quick, let me hold your hand!”

“Sora, I’m eating lunch--”

“I only have five minutes to feel everybody’s hand before I have to make my next delivery!”

Lea put down his chopsticks inside the Cheeto’s bag he was holding. He wasn’t five anymore and did not appreciate cheesy powder clinging to his clean hands. “First, gross. Second, do I even--hey!”

Sora took Lea’s free hand and interlaced their fingers in a firm hold for several seconds. The hungry man learned the best tactic to any Sora brand shenanigans was to let it play out, and then bail when it looked like government enforcement got involved. “I would say you should buy me dinner first, but I kind of think Riku would have a problem with his boyfriend of four years taking out his ex-lover on a date.”

“No, this isn’t right either,” Sora mumbled and then sighed while letting Lea go. “I’ve held at least a hundred hands today and none of them are right!”

Shaking out his released digits, Lea set down his Cheeto’s, leaned forward on the table they were currently occupying, placed his elbows on the surface, and put his head onto his folded hands. “Well, if we’re doing hand counts now--instead of bodies--I can positively say you’ve actually one upped me for once. I’m so proud of you.”

“I’ve done Kairi, Ventus, Roxas, Terra, and Xehanort--”

“Maybe, check, check, check, and what the fuck.”

“--and none of them feel right.” Sora ruffled his spikes as he sighed. “Why are you the only one here? I was hoping to feel Isa’s hand before he left for band practice. Did he leave already?!”

“It’s a holiday, dumbass. How did you even get in here? The shop isn’t open--waaait, did you make copies of the key I gave you years back?”

“There’s no time for questions, Lea! It’s imperative you tell me where Isa is!!”

“I’m not telling you where my other half is if you’re just going to molest him like you did me.”

“What?! I did NOT--”

“Sora? What are you doing here?” Namine’s sweet voice asked from the break room doorway. “Doesn’t Riku have a show tonight? You’re usually with him when he does.”

“Let me hold your hand!”

----

There was a talent show at a convention Sora took Riku to that one time. They were dressed as popular video game characters that Riku had no clue about, but he would do just about anything for Sora (well, okay, he would do anything for Sora), and they received positive comments everywhere they went. Therefore, it was easy for Sora to persuade Riku into a duet to “give the people what they want”. It was a wonderful memory Riku cherished very much. 

He has to remind himself that Sora didn’t orchestrate Riku being discovered by an attending talent agency representative. Riku thought it was a joke at first--he was a good singer, but he didn’t think it would necessitate things like recording contracts or publicity interviews. He wasn’t so far gone into stardom that he needed a bodyguard to protect him from invading paparazzi. He was in that sweet spot of having gained enough notoriety to be recognized once or twice while buying toilet paper with his cute boyfriend at the local supermarket. 

It’s just... most of the good things to happen in Riku’s life are usually associated with Sora. It took him a while to recognize self sabotage and learning to take time-outs when haunting thoughts resurfaced before old habits reverted him back to a person Riku didn’t like. Sora met him at this stage in his life--a chapter where Riku looked at gift horses in the mouth and manipulated the situation into a disaster before anybody else could ruin it. Despite fading into a toxic shell, Sora remained his friend, eventually a best friend, and coaxed Riku back “into the light” where Sora knew he belonged. Such a genuine person deserved somebody who didn’t occasionally hiccup, right?

“So when are you planning on asking him?”

Riku and Kairi sat side-by-side on the edge of the amphitheater stage. “You don’t think it’s too soon to ask him to marry me?”

Kairi shoved Riku’s shoulder with hers and said in a disbelieving tone, “Are you seriously asking my opinion about whether or not you should ask Sora, our impulsive and reckless and dearly beloved Sora who you have been dating and living with for a while now--”

“Only because I was getting evicted!”

“--who, might I also add, has been deeply in love with you since the day you two first met--”

“You just said he’s impulsive and reckless. I don’t know if I’ve been complimented or insulted.”

“--and whether or not you should marry him?”

Kairi stared.

“...the jury’s still out?”

And then smacked Riku upside the head.

----

What’s fascinating about the world of Sora is that he inherently knows when the time is right. His mother always told him to follow his heart when it came to the facts of life and making tough choices. Leaving Destiny Islands behind was an internal struggle, but a necessary change as Sora felt the universe calling him elsewhere. He made new friends, reunited with other adventuring islanders, and eventually landed in the energetic hubbub of Radiant Garden.

This is where he met Riku, one of the adventuring islanders Sora was surprised existed (although now he knows better than think he was the first to venture away from Destiny Islands). It wasn’t obvious then, but Sora’s heart knew Riku would always be a part of his life. Now to find the correct hand measurement for the ring he wanted to buy to further cement Riku’s permanency in his world.

“I’m really exhausted trying to find Cinderella’s shoe--”

“We made a list of code words, Sora, and you’re still sticking to this one?!”

“--and I’m not going to give up until I find the right hand, but Aqua I’m really starting to freak out here. LOOK OUT I’M COMING THROUGH!”

Sora threw his cellphone into the bicycle basket in order to put both of his hands onto the handlebars for better swerve control. Exclamations and shocked shouts were hollered in his direction both from walking pedestrians and his mobile. Sora was never meant to multitask at any capacity no matter his stubbornness to improve his lack of skill. Riku said Sora must have been born under a new moon to have been inhibited with so much chaos. 

“SORA! What’s happening?!”

Out of harms way and coming up to his final destination, Sora plucked his cell out of the basket and resumed his conversation. “Sorry, Aqua! Yen Sid’s Bao buns have been really popular today and he called me in to help with deliveries before Riku’s concert tonight!”

Aqua sighed in disapproval. “I really wish you wouldn’t talk and drive, Sora.”

“It hasn’t been that bad today! I only crashed once and it was smooth sailing up until just a minute ago.”

“So let’s reset the accident calendar to ‘zero days since last incident’, shall we?”

“Can we focus on what’s really important right now?”

“Oh! You mean you don’t want to discuss the state of your health and well-being? Because I have a mountain of evidence that says there should have been an intervention weeks ago.”

It was Sora’s turn to sigh. “Okay, I hear you Aqua! I need to take better care of myself! No need to mother hen me into an early grave.”

“I love you, Sora, but how does that even make sense?”

“Listen,” Sora grabbed the last take-out bag, walked up to the townhouse front door, and knocked. “I haven’t found a hand that resembles Riku’s and if I don’t get the ring size for the jeweler soon, tonight will be ruined. Well, not ruined-ruined because Riku is perfect and wonderful and his show is going to be GREAT but, like, I want to be married to him already, Aqua!”

The last part of Sora’s tirade came out whiny and the person who answered his knock heard every single syllable. “Um...”

“Oh! Hello, my name’s Sora and I’m your delivery service today! Oh behalf of Heavenly Buns we thank you for your order!”

“I thought you were joking when you said that was the name of Yen Sid’s restaurant,” Aqua mumbled to herself.

The patron smiled at Sora’s enthusiasm. “Awesome! I paid over the app already, but, um, give me a sec to get get you a tip.”

Already on the edge of despair from time’s harsh reality, Sora glanced at his wristwatch (anniversary gift) and said, “It’s totally okay! Your thanks is enough!”

“No, no, no, I have my wallet nearby. I used to work as a pizza delivery guy and I know how hard this job can be,” the customer said. He grabbed his food and left to find the aforementioned wallet leaving Sora to awkwardly stand on his doorstep.

“It’s nice to know there’s still decent people around,” his phone crackled. 

Biting his lip nervously, Sora sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, I’m really anxious about getting his ring in time and, well...”

“I’m listening.”

“...him saying yes.”

Sora couldn’t see her, but Aqua has been his confident throughout this excursion and he knew she was softly smiling. “Sora... do you want me to list all of the reasons why he is going to say yes to you like Kairi? Or do you want me to sprout endless quips like Lea until you finally get it knocked into your brain?”

“Um, how about some mother henning like Aqua?” It was Sora’s worst kept secret that he gravitated towards his friends that had strong maternal qualities when he had an episode. It was his quiet way of remembering his mother who passed two years earlier.

Sora heard a change of background noise and the click of a door shutting. He imagined Aqua stepped outside of her house as she tended to do that to better focus on serious conversations. “I may not have known you two from the beginning of your relationship, but I rarely see a person look at you the way Riku does every time you’re both in the same room together, Sora. You might not notice, but Riku is always making sure you’re comfortable first before he takes care of his own needs. He’s a dependable young man that cherishes the heart you have given him and he will always protect it from harm. It actually makes me jealous you found somebody that compatible in midst of your uncontrollable life.”

Rubbing at his eyes, Sora released a surprised laugh. Shakily, he said, “Riku worked hard to become the person he is now. He just needed somebody to believe in him to start creating the future he has now. I mean, he’s going to the next biggest pop star, Aqua! I can’t let him be tied down with me when his career hasn’t even started yet!”

“You’re doing it again, Sora.”

“...doing what?”

“Not believing in you. He won’t say no because he suddenly has a new life ahead of him. He’ll only say no if this isn’t something you want. Which, by the way ding-dong, are you already forgetting how passionate you were about wanting to be ‘married to him already’?”

“But what if he doesn’t want this?!”

“Then you will come to my place and we will hash it out over some moscato while Kairi and Lea wreak hell upon his person until he see’s sense again.”

“I don’t want him forced into marrying me, Aqua! That’s got to be illegal in several countries if not all of them!”

A throat cleared behind Sora. “Uh,” it was the customer back with the promised munny. “That sounds like a really interesting conversation you got going on there, buddy.”

Sora turned red in embarrassment. “Well, uh...” in for a penny, in for a pound. “Just, y’know, having an internal crisis about whether or not my almost famous boyfriend wants to settle down with,” Sora paused and gestured to himself, “this.”

Caught in the moment with this exchange of words, Sora barely heard Aqua on his phone, “I know you just didn’t call yourself a ‘this’. That is the equivalent of ‘it’ and you are worth so much more than that.”

The client clearly had no idea what to do. “Oh, well, um, good luck with that?” He shoved his fistful of munny at Sora. “And here! Thank you again for the delivery!”

Sora looked at the patron’s outstretched hand and froze.

“...Are you... are you okay?”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“...What?”

“Your hand! Can I hold it just for a quick second, please? I promise this isn’t for something weird--well, it’s a weird request, yes I know, because you don’t know me--well, you kind of do because I told you my name, but I don’t know yours! What’s your name? WAIT, that’s not important right now!  Please help me propose to my boyfriend who I love very much?!” Sora looked at the guy with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster. Considering the emotional rollercoaster he has been through recently it didn’t take much effort on his part.

The guy’s eyes widened as he considered calling for help. “Look, can you please just take the munny and go? My buns are getting cold.”

“I’ll pay for your dinner if you just hold my hand for a few seconds, sir, and I promise you’ll never see or hear from me again! Unless you wanna be friends!!”

“...Okay, I guess?”

Relieved, Sora set his phone down onto the townhouse banister and reached for his wallet to pull out munny. Elsewhere, Aqua facepalmed in exasperation. Sora was a sweet kid, truly, but his eccentric approach to life is why Lea purchased the accident calendar to go next to the tally marks of how many new friends Sora makes in a week. Sometimes their group makes bets.

Aqua smiled when she heard Sora’s shout of excitement on the other end of the line (and casually overlooked the distressed sound from the ex-pizza man).

----

note: part one of two...?

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence: Atonement, chapter 4

Ansem always had a penchant for strays, so it's not at all surprising when he takes in the orphaned child Ienzo. The boy's presence changes everything, far more than Even is willing to admit. Ienzo's brilliance seems promising, but the arrival of a young Xehanort pushes the apprentices onto a dark, cruel, inhumane path which will affect the future of the World. And even once it's all over with--once Xehanort is dead--they still must pick up the pieces, forgive one another, find a way to atone for their atrocities, and struggle to accept the humanity which has been thrust upon them.

Or: Even's journey from BBS through post-KH3

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

He wakes slowly.

He’s in a bed, a bed not his own, in a strange, blank, barren room. He sits up.

“Ah, friend, you’re awake,” says the voice.

He turns towards the source of it. Xehanort is dressed in all black, but it’s different than the lab coats they’ve worn; it’s got beading, zippers instead of a catch.

He blinks, once. His mind is curiously clear. He reaches up to his jugular to take his pulse, noting first that there is one, then that it’s almost unnervingly slow and steady. “I suppose it worked?” he asks, his voice flat. "We've no hearts?"

“Quite--we are Nobodies." He tilts his head slightly. "We’ve been worried about you. You’re the last one to wake. I thought you may not have made it.”

He stares down at his hands; they look the same, and so does the long blonde hair on his shoulder, freed of its usual restraint. “I see.”

“How do you feel?”

“Very much alert,” he admits. Less physically tired than he can remember.

“Emotionally?”

It’s an odd word to hear out loud. He realizes he is numb, but not a human numbness; moreso an emptiness, but a very bearable one. A comfortable one. “My head is clear,” he says instead. It’s true; unfettered by emotion, he processes this all easily, without stress.

Xehanort smiles, but there’s nothing in it. “Excellent. Seems this experiment was a success. While you were resting, we’ve chosen a sign of brotherhood, new names to usher us into this new life. I’ve chosen one for you--should you want it.”

“And what is that?”

“Vexen,” he says slowly. “The Recusant’s Sigil is said to be good luck. I’ve added it to all our names--anagrammed them.”

“How creative of you.” There’s no sarcasm behind it; nothing at all. “Very well. I suppose that is who I’ll be.” He sits up, bringing his legs over the side of the bed. “Where is Ien--the little one?”

“He goes by Zexion now,” Xehanort says. “He was the first to wake, after myself, of course. The boy seems to have taken to this new life easier than I ever could have guessed. It suits him. He has no more fear, no more sensory overload. He’s purely himself.”

Hearing this, Vexen feels nothing for the boy; no concern. It’s liberating, he realizes. “That is good news indeed. Your name already contains an X. Though I don’t suppose only that will do.”

He shakes his head slowly. “They call me Xemnas.”

There’s much to do, and it’s all so much easier than it used to be.

They’re somewhere else now, a place still taking shape. What starts as a two-story building morphs into something far larger than Radiant Garden’s castle ever was. As soon as he craves a resource, it seems to appear, seemingly out of nowhere; soon he’s able to identify this morphing substance as the same that the lesser Nobodies were made of. They study their new bodies for weeks, months; they discover their immense capabilities for magic. Zexion, in a very short amount of time, becomes a rather skilled mage; necessary, as the Heartless target him mercilessly, despite Lexeaus’s best efforts to protect him. While he and Vexen continue to spend time together, for studies, they’re beginning to drift, but Vexen doesn’t care much. There’s nothing behind the boy’s eyes aside from a cold calculation.

They find that they have weapons, extensions of their wills, each personalized to its user; more exciting yet, they have their own magics, in alignment with their personalities, a sort of expression of the deepest essences of the self. Vexen’s newfound command over ice is infinitely useful in his experiments, though it is disappointing that it is just ice, not water.

It seems every time they come to a momentous discovery--of worlds, of hearts, of matter--Xemnas always dangles something out of reach. For this Organization, Kingdom Hearts will be the key to all knowledge. Vexen works towards this goal with pleasure. In the chaotic, entropic nothingness--something entirely different than darkness or light--his experiments thrive, and after years, the replicas begin to take shape, form. They incubate.

Six years have passed in a blink; for the first time Xemnas speaks on his desire to gather more members. He needs a Keyblade wielder, so he says, to reap hearts. So they all, in their own ways, go searching across the worlds. And they do find someone, a humanoid Nobody, a seventeen-year-old boy they call Demyx. But the disappointments come hard and fast with this one. Initially, Vexen is hopeful; the boy’s power over water seems to be something nearly prodigal. But he is not very academically bright. He’s lazy, he would rather fool around with his weapon, an instrument called a sitar. They all can barely tolerate him, though inexplicably, Xigbar strikes up a rapport with the boy. Very well. If someone of high rank can keep him in line, all the better.

Because they have ranked themselves. Of course, Xemnas is the leader; as the youngest, it’s only natural for Zexion to be the sixth of the six original apprentices; Saïx, Axel, and Demyx follow when the latter arrives; but internally there’s some squabbling over the rest of the numbers. Vexen is beyond disappointed with his own designation of only fourth, but no matter, he works alone the majority of the time anyway.

In quick succession, they’re joined by three more--Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene. Not one is a Keyblade wielder, and aside from the passing intrigue of studying the first humanoid Nobody that is a biological woman, they are nothing but a thorn in Vexen’s side. Xemnas’s frustration is obvious, and Vexen feels mostly the same.

All of a sudden Zexion is no longer a little boy, but a young man. He had, more or less, what seemed to be a normal puberty. He never expresses interest in sex or sexuality, unlike some of the other members; but then again, Zexion was never a people person, and while Vexen knows that the scientist in him should want to investigate this potential quirk of Nobody biology, the part of him that once raised Ienzo is repulsed at questioning the young man farther about these matters.

One of these days, when Zexion’s about fifteen, he arrives in Vexen’s lab. “Six,” he says. “It’s a pleasure to see you. Do you require assistance?”

Zexion smiles politely. “I hope to have a word, if that’s alright. I do hope I’m not interrupting anything.” It’s easy now for him to speak, to compose himself; as Xemnas said, purely himself. If anything, the boy is too talkative.

“I can spare a few moments.”

“Very well. Then I’ll be brief. I’m aware our tutoring sessions take up a good deal of our time, time both of us could use more efficiently. I feel I’m far enough in my education to pursue it on my own. Though I must thank you for your years of working with me.” He bows a little. The sight of this old custom unnerves Vexen.

He says it so quickly, so simply. For some reason, Vexen is surprised--though shouldn’t he have seen this coming?

(And is he crazy, or is he feeling hurt? No--mustn’t. Nobodies cannot feel, though the neophytes love to pretend, especially Demyx. The miscreant must be rubbing off on him more than he thought. He curses the fact that they are both part of the reconnaissance team.)

Vexen smiles. “It was my pleasure. You know you’re very intelligent. I have the utmost faith in you. My door is always open for you, Zexion, should you have questions.”

“Thank you, Vexen. Good day.”

The years pass--they cannot find their Keyblade wielder, no matter how hard they try. The others are frustrated too, especially the neophytes, as they’re sent on the most search missions. At least there is some progress--Heartless made, worlds brought under control of darkness, his replicas becoming more stable yet. Vexen hopes he may be able to get one to wield a Keyblade.

Zexion turns eighteen. Vexen’s initial prediction was right; the young man is relatively small, slight, and probably always will be. While his face still is a bit soft, he’ll lose the babyishness in time. As the first person to truly come of age as a Nobody, he allows Vexen to prod him, somewhat indulgently. “I suppose it is interesting, though it would be more interesting if I knew the difference,” he admits, in a moment of unusual candor.

Vexen looks up at him on the table. He gently pulls free the needle that was taking his blood, and heals the tiny wound. Magic has made his doctoring less barbaric, simpler. “Would you rather have been human?” he asks.

He thinks about it. “I’ve been a Nobody ten years--longer than I was ever a human.”

“Yet, not a direct answer to my question.”

He rolls down the sleeve of his cloak. “I don’t believe so,” he says. “What I remember from that time is mostly negative--the panic attacks, the constant inundation of stimuli interpreted as pain, the nightmares, the untreated PTSD. But now… now I am stable, and in control of myself. I do not feel I’ve missed anything--though the neophytes insist the opposite.” He rolls his eyes. “As if I would ever find any of those shenanigans of interest.”

Vexen nods. “As long as you are fulfilled.”

“I am.” He pauses, smiles a bit. “I’m not the one who told you this, but the superior might soon have a mission for us. One elsewhere.”

His interest is piqued; but at the same time, he feels another wave of frustration that number six is more privy to this information than he. “Elsewhere?”

Zexion shakes his head. “That’s all he said. Though who knows--he’s become more and more enigmatic over the years. It is… trying.”

Vexen chuckles. “Well, I doubt I’ll find anything different about these samples, but should there be anything of note, I’ll contact you.”

“Keep it for posterity,” he says, with a wave of his hand. “Who knows, I could be the first of many, to live this way.”

“Child, you have a strange sense of humor.”

---

Two things happen in quick succession--they find their Keyblade wielder, and Castle Oblivion is established as a second base. Roxas is an amnesiac, utterly zombified, more than just Nobody numbness. But considering the stories they’ve heard of Sora from Xemnas, that they were able to capture his Nobody is a feat in and of itself.

He’s forced to release his first successful replica to Xemnas. It really is a puppet--it will walk, talk, perform bodily functions--but it has no sense of self, not yet. He knows it’s too soon to let No. i into the field--it needs more extensive testing. Xemnas insists. They need insurance in case something were to happen to Roxas, mostly because Sora’s allies are searching for him. Not when they are so close to finally making progress on Kingdom Hearts. With it, knowledge and, perhaps for those interested, humanity again.

Vexen isn’t sure of his own opinion on the matter. To be a Nobody is a sort of freedom; he can research, experiment without guilt, without the need for social interaction. But as Nobodies they do not technically exist, literally speaking; doesn’t that in itself negate everything that’s been discovered?

So with what is almost anxiety, No. i is christened Xion, and welcomed into their ranks. But Vexen is not allowed to stay and observe it; he, and another replica, are needed in Castle Oblivion. He, Zexion, and Lexeaus are given dominion over the lower floors; Larxene, Axel, and Marluxia the upper. Most galling yet, Marluxia, number eleven for god’s sake, is made their tentative leader. While Marluxia has proven himself time and again in the field and at the table, why does this man deserve such a rank?

But Zexion and Lexeaus do not want to hear him complain about it. “Everyone’s work is important here,” Zexion says softly, huddled over his lexicon, poetically called “Book of Retribution”--Vexen does not pretend to understand that boy’s mind. “Yours especially. Focus on the task at hand.”

It’s a big task for the boy (the man, Vexen reminds himself, he’s nineteen); they would be using Zexion’s extensive illusions on Sora, as Naminé leaches his memories. They cannot afford a heart that special to remain out in the wide world; not when he actually has the power to put an end to them. Vexen knows Zexion’s powerful, knows of his stamina; but maintaining so many complex illusions for so long was a lot to ask of him. Castle Oblivion seems to like the boy's magic, to hold its shape. Even so. But they discover more is afoot; namely, that the neophytes have insane ideas to overthrow Xemnas, using Sora. Quickly, Zexion, Lexeaus, and Vexen devise a plan. While Sora has arrived, Riku soon follows, lured there by a carefully placed clue in the realm of darkness. They’d use Riku--or some semblance of him--to stop Marluxia from using the boy. It takes a bit of cleverness. They have to make Marluxia think they’re on his side, so the replica again changes hands.

But something goes wrong. The replica isn’t acting under their control, it’s developed its own will (what did they expect, forcing him into this so quickly). Marluxia, oh so casually, says that, unless Vexen can pacify the boy himself, he’ll report him and his failure, which can only go one way. Vexen's long had a feeling that he'd be eliminated once he outgrew his usefulness.

Very well.

So he fights the boy, and it’s much more difficult than he would have thought. The boy truly is something prodigal, something nearly godlike. He’s defeated, but is still alive. He already knows what’s coming, and something gives way. He tells the boy how to get his memories back, how to discover Roxas, giving him the key to a Twilight Town. When they meet again, the boy’s almost worked it out, what they are.

And then, to be crass, it hits the shit.

But he doesn’t expect Axel to be the one to execute him.

[pandadoesawrite]

“I’ve missed you” kiss w/ fio and even do it do it do it

hey guess who wrote 11 pages of heart palpitations IT WAS ME

(also not to be an early 2000s emo kid on main but this helps with the vibe)

Nightfall in Radiant Garden was, despite all odds, just as Even remembered it.

The sky of their world existed in a near constant state of dawn, and the lavender of the day would always melt into a deep, bluish violet, speckled with stars. Summer or winter, the night sky was always the same. It was a comfort Vexen had been too proud to admit he’d found comfort in, in the eternal midnight of the Organization’s world, but that was… mostly in the past, now. Even could admit he’d missed it. Taken it for granted, one might even say.

“Well, there you are.”

In retrospect, it seemed like he did that for many things, despite his best efforts.

He turned to face Fiona, one hand still on the castle’s ledge, and his heart swelled in a way it hadn’t for many, many years. “Shouldn’t you be inside resting?”

Fiona just smiled in that infallible way of her, arms crossed, and walked over beside him. Close, but not too close. “Surprising as the whole ordeal was… it would take a lot more than that to knock me off my feet. I’ve learned to bounce back quick.”

She looked out onto the town and the sky, just as Even had, and unable to argue that or the way his heart twisted in his chest, he fell into silence, and looked back out with her. “…Hm.”

Things had settled, since earlier in the day. Fiona’s sudden, surprising return to the world of light had thrown everyone for a spin, most of all her, and she and Even had definitely let their emotions overcome them, once they saw one another again. It took Fiona fainting in his arms after a long overdue embrace, and Aeleus having to tear him away from her chambers before Even was finally able to collect himself. All embarrassing, in and of itself, but understandable; Ienzo, surely, would be asking questions well into the next millennia over this, but at least the others wouldn’t give him any grief.

Well, Aeleus wouldn’t—the jury was still out for Dilan.

When your deceased fiance of two decades essentially comes back to life, one is bound to become a little emotional over it. Of course now, with composure, Even was left with the reality that he actually had to face Fiona. He, and all the sins he had accumulated.

He remembered her in the hospital, before she passed. She’d told Even that she didn’t want him chasing answers for how she ended up there, but also, that she wouldn’t be surprised if he did anyway. “You’re a scientist,” she’d said, with that knowing, wise-beyond-her-years smile he’d come to treasure so dearly, “Experiments are what you do.” But he had wondered then, and Vexen had wondered, and Even still wondered now, if that still held true, with all said and done.

She’d been in his heart all that time, after all. He’d carried her with him those twenty long years, even if he hadn’t known it. There was no hiding the things they had done. The things he had done.

There was a bump into his shoulder, and Even tore his gaze away from the sky and back to Fiona. She’d nudged herself into his arm, a quiet way of getting his attention that he was more than accustomed to, coming from her.

“Everything alright? It feels like you have thoughts.”

She looked at him without a hint of resentment, still smiling in her usual manner, and the first thing to cross Even was how much older Fiona looked. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t noticed before, or that he hadn’t aged himself. They all had. But Fiona, in his mind, had been forever cemented as a young woman. He’d never dared to think about what she might have looked like past where his time with her ended, if only to spare himself from the melancholy.

Vaguely, he remembered that Vexen had similar lines of thinking; his memories of Fiona had still been fond, as fond as Vexen could be, but even with the (admittedly, prematurely reached) condition of the Nobody, he had also made it a point to not let his mind wander. She was gone, after all, and trying to imagine what she would have become would have done him no good.

But, oh, here she was, despite all odds, skin still like alabaster and hair like flowing ink. She was ever so slightly taller now, with a few more curves here and there, and she looked more tired–in the darkness of night, Even thought he caught a glimpse of those scars along her tear-troughs–but after everything she’d just been through, he supposed it was only natural she’d be exhausted. He must have looked the same when he’d been recompleted, as well.

Most of all, though, he saw her eyes. Fiona’s eyes had once been cloudy, with only a faint hint of brown around the film, a distant reminder of what they once looked like when they were children. But they’d changed, one way or another, now a grey white from iris to scalera, laced with spinning gears and ciphers. Something familiar, and beautiful, yet new, and alarming.

Just like all of Fiona.

King Oswald had explained this, as best he could–about the eyes, about Axofin. Those eyes were the only remnant left of her time as a Nobody, and they had made her, for all intents and purposes, into a gorgon. And with these eyes, to a point, Fiona could see.

Could she see him, now? Was her glancing at him more than just muscle memory? Did he even want her to look at him?

“Even?”

“I’m glad you were alright.” He’d said it without thinking, muscle memory of his own, and Even cursed himself for being so familiar so soon. It had been little over two decades. He should be taking this slower. Yet it was too easy to slip back into his old habits around her. “That you were… well taken care of. With how much you were at odds with Radiant Garden, it’s a relief.”

“‘At odds’? That’s putting it mildly.” There was a very obvious tease to Fiona’s voice, and Even’s heart relaxed a bit, eased by her casual nature, and the luck that he hadn’t offended. “The Wasteland welcomed me with open arms, and I’ll never forget that.” Her smile turned a little more frank. “I only regret that it was just me.”

“What for?” If Axofin had tried to contact him directly, Xehanort would have must certainly sunk his claws into her the moment she came into his sight; Even had come to that conclusion rather quick, in the midst of King Oswald’s explanations, and she knew it as well as he did. Just imagining Fiona with those accursed, golden eyes made his blood boil; Even was grateful it had been him instead. “You did the right thing, keeping your distance.”

“Mmm, I know… but it got hard to, near the end.”

Fiona brushed back a lock of hair behind her ear. It had long since fallen out of the ponytail Axofin had kept it in, and was now hanging loose along her back in waves. Even wondered why she hadn’t pulled it back already.

“If I could have guaranteed the kind of reaction you’d have, there wouldn’t have been much keeping me away. Positive enough of a response, I might have even planned a return.”

“…You weren’t planning on coming home?”

Even tried not to make his voice sound so dejected, and if he was to say so himself, he didn’t succeed. But Fiona didn’t seem to take any notice, and if she did, she said nothing about it.

Instead, she sighed.

“I didn’t think I’d have a place here. I wasn’t exactly banking on being complete again, after all. My heart is… trickier, than most. Which doesn’t mean much now, given how all these children turned out, but—“ She shrugged. “More hoops to jump through, at another’s expense. You know I couldn’t have it.”

“The little King did mention something like that.” And as curious as he was about it, Even had to admit they’d all studied the heart more than enough for one lifetime, and so he kept his curiosity to himself. “Still, it wouldn’t have hurt to at least have left a breadcrumb, or two.”

“Oh, I was close to doing that, actually. But I’m glad I didn’t, in the end.” Fiona laughed quietly, barely over a titter. “Axofin would have driven Vexen mad, and not in the endearing way. You and I both know that.”

“…True.” He wasn’t about to deny his own high-strung tendencies, nor how they were amplified on Vexen; if the stories he’d heard about Axofin were true, it might have been like dealing with a second Xigbar, in terms of grandiose and just general flippancy. Good God. If Axel hadn’t ended him first, all the popped blood vessels might have. “Memories alone wouldn’t be enough to ensure the same reaction, with what fragile hearts Nobodies grow.”

“There’s really no telling what the reaction would have been. Half the research into Nobodies was manipulated from the word go, anyway.” Fiona paused a beat, and then added, “Even so, I wouldn’t have wanted to make things harder, in that state.”

“For me? Or for yourself?”

“Both.” No hesitation. “You and I–all of us, were in so much pain. And we each overcame it in time, true, but for you and the others, that was always a promise. But if I were to come back still half a person, when the rest of you were whole, what would you have done? After everything you would have been through, would you have welcomed me back? Just like that?”

Even did not answer. He did not know how.

Fiona glanced back at him. Her smile was still there, ever thoughtful, but now just the faintest bit sad. “It isn’t your fault. It’s just the way things turned out. If the tables were turned between us, it very well likely would have been the same.”

He snorted. It was the closest he’d come to a smile himself all night. “I highly doubt that. There isn’t a force on any world that could have told you what to do, or what to think. Not even Xehanort could change that about you.”

“You flatter me. But that isn’t entirely true.”

“Isn’t it? I seem to recall you saying once that the forces that be had to blind you, because if they hadn’t, you would have murdered them at sixteen.”

“Yes, and that is true! But that’s not what I’m talking about.” Fiona lifted herself off the wall, and she stared at Even with soft, quizzical look.

“Even. Has there ever been a time where I told you ‘no’?”

And Even… Even had to think about that.

As many years as it had been since they were last together, his memories with Fiona were still bright and strong, and he reviewed them in silence. She’d been a stubborn girl when she lost her sight, refusing help from anyone that offered that wasn’t family… or him, when he asked to help guide her. And that give and take happened in all walks of their lives thereafter. Schoolwork, their magic studies, personal lives–for a good while, he was helping Fiona get dressed in the mornings, because she was too intent on not being something to pity, and he was too intent on being by her side, just in case.

He remembered the night he asked her to marry him. It was hardly romantic, and more sudden than he would have preferred, but she had been so terrified for a future she didn’t think she’d live to see that it was all he could think to do to show he wasn’t leaving. He’d told her he didn’t need an answer, if she couldn’t give him one–but she’d told him yes without a second thought. Like it was obvious. Like it was as simple for her to do as breathing.

Fiona, to her credit, had never told him ‘no’.

“…Huh.” Even glanced to the ground, rather vacantly, as the realization fully dawned on him. “I hadn’t realized.”

“You sound shocked!” The tease came back to her voice; the twinge of sadness still remained, but at least Fiona was smiling again. “Is it really that surprising? Why would I refuse you?”

The ludicrousness of that question almost gave him whiplash. “I could very easily think of a few reasons, within the last decade alone.”

“We’re all victims of circumstance.” She waved that all off perhaps a bit too casually. Another remnant of Axofin? Or had Fiona just deduced this was coming, and prepared accordingly? “And if I’m to be honest? As morally dubious as the experiments were, none of you ever actually took another person’s heart. Just… pulled out the darkness, as you saw once before. Xehanort was the one that actually extracted the heart from others, and I’m not going to fault you or any of the others for his crimes.”

She paused a moment, then added. “Well. Perhaps I might blame Braig. But the rest of you are in the clear, as far as I’m concerned.”

“You’re far too forgiving.” And Even was far too self-deprecating–much more than he should have allowed himself to be in pleasant company, but for all he knew Fiona might just slip through his grasp again. Best to say what he had to say now, before this dream ended. “It pays to keep an open mind, but this is foolhardy.”

“King Oswald holds very true to the belief that everyone deserves a second chance, and that’s something I agree with. It’s more than I can say for other Keyblade Masters of his generation. And besides--my loyalty to you has always run deeper than my loyalty to Radiant Garden.”

Fiona crossed her arms beneath her chest; she raised one hand to the air, twirling her fingers like she was reciting a poem. “‘For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part’.”

“Ah–” Oh, what a blessing, and a curse, to be able to blush properly! Even’s only saving grace was that Fiona was blind and couldn’t see him so flustered, though who could say how much that held true anymore. “I–why on earth would you bring that into this?”

“Well, I’ve been referring to you as my husband for the last decade to my coworkers.” Again, that all too casual shrug. Did this woman never learn to listen to herself in the past ten years? “Why wouldn’t I bring it up?”

“Your–! Fiona, we never got the chance to have Master Ansem sign the license.” Because like hell did either of them want a ceremony. “We aren’t legally–no, wait. Go back to the part about your coworkers, who were you telling this to?!”

“Oh, you know.” No, I don’t know, he thought, but Fiona started to count off the people on her free hand. “King Oswald and Queen Ortensia, of course, Gus, the Doctor… though in retrospect, it’s highly possible some of them might have thought I was joking.”

“Joking how?”

“I wasn’t sure if I should connect myself back here–the walls have ears, you know how it goes–so I referred to my marital status specifically as ‘married to science’, which… well, it does make it sound like I was saying I was married to my job. But, given that we’re both researches, it also wasn’t entirely incorrect of me! I told no lies, just not a whole truth.”

“Unbelievable.” Even squeezed the bridge of his nose, but despite everything, a smile was still tugging at his mouth, unable to be deterred. “You really couldn’t give a straight answer if you tried, could you?”

“I’ve never had to my whole life, and I don’t intend to start now.”

Fiona sounded far too smug about that. It was… nice, to hear that bravado again. Even sighed, and even that sounded more fond that he would have wanted to show. “Well… I suppose that is something to look forward to, now.”

“What is? The delayed presents from the gift registry?”

“No. Your mouth, your two hands, and your burning, eternal desire to make those everyone else’s problem.”

Fiona’s smugness didn’t last, almost melting away as soon as the words left Even’s mouth. She looked at him, vaguely, and vacantly, and when the thought finally came to him that oh no, this is what did it, this is what ruined it–she started to laugh.

It was startling, almost. Even hadn’t heard that laughter in ages. To think he’d almost forgotten how boisterous she could be. But why now? “You think this is funny?”

“No, no, it just… I suppose I’m just… relieved.” 

And it truly did look that way, like a burden Even hadn’t noticed had been lifted off her shoulders. “After all this time… even though we’re all back in one piece, I was so scared of what might happen when we saw each other again. I was preparing for the worst, but, here we are–!”

Her arms gestured widely, between Even and herself. “We went straight from saying our ‘I love you’s, to poking fun at how dedicated I am to being a nuisance.” 

Fiona’s laughter fell into elated sighs. Her arms dropped to her sides, and she glanced back at him with an honest smile, hair wiry and wispy around her face, chest heaving, eyes unseeing but looking straight into him. His heart hadn’t been broken, per se, but looking at Fiona–looking at that face of hers so racked with fear and relief and adoration, an expression he’d only seen on her twice before–she had his heart in her hands, and was squeezing it without having to even lift a finger.

Even had noted earlier that, while beautiful, Fiona was so unusual now. Quietly, he retracted that: she was only beautiful.

“It’s so… like us.” There was such emotion in those four words. Emotions and experiences she’d had over the last ten years that Even couldn’t begin to imagine. “We’re still us, Even.”

It was so rare that he, of all people, was left to silence, but that was a power Fiona had always had over him. From when they were children to now, and a part of him was glad that was still so. 

Even cleared his throat; it was an awkward sound, a move he normally made around His Lordship in regards to research, or even Ienzo, but here, hopefully, it got across his… lack of a proper response.

He had words planned, a sentence on his lips, but what he heard in his own voice, softly, was “…we did not technically say those.”

Fiona laughed again, more like a breathy chuckle. “And? We’ve never once said them in a ‘normal’ way. Would either of us have been walking on eggshells all this time if it weren’t true?”

He didn’t have a rebuttal for that.

“Still,” Even continued, after another awkward cough, “there is something of a, ah… proper procedure to this… sort of thing.”

Some thirty odd years ago, he would have never considered himself in anything remotely like this position. Love in this sort of venue was just… it wasn’t for him. It was childish, in its own way, and perhaps that’s why it took him so long to realize what he had when it was there. Fiona was his constant companion, so yes, of course he loved her, but for it to run so deep, deeper than he’d ever thought it could run, caught him off-guard. 

When had his dedication to her changed so, anyway? It’d been without notice, without warning, and soon, just as much as she could not refuse him, he could not refuse her. He would have guided her to anyplace she wanted to be, would have been her assistant in any field of study she’d chosen, would have worshiped her between her thighs, had she so desired it. He’d pushed all those emotions back as far as he could after she’d passed, in a ditch effort to not drown in that sorrow, but now those carefully locked gates were flung open and he was sinking down in those feelings even more than at first falling. It was like the night he’d asked for her hand all over again.

Except, it was even more, somehow. Perhaps it was due to the sensation of having his true heart back in his chest, or the elation and fear that Fiona still lived. Or perhaps, it was because Fiona had breached the gap between them, and placed her hands on his face.

“Even.” 

Their eyes were locked together, and even without the glimmer of those special eyes and their magic, he knew Fiona was looking straight at him. “It has been more than twenty years since we were last physically in the same space together. It’s only you and I out here on this part of the castle grounds. I’ve been referring to you specifically as my husband to anyone who asked. So I need you. To stop talking. And do something about it.”

His eyes widened. Blindness be damned, with his face under her fingertips, she had to have felt the way his cheeks burned at the insistence of that sentence. Fiona had never been a woman who didn’t make her intentions clear on such personal matters, and, seemingly satisfied with the point she had made, gave move to let go of his face.

But Even caught one of her hands just before it left his skin, and pulled it back flush against his cheek.

He’d done it out of instinct, more than anything. That was what he told himself. But as he placed his own hand over hers and squeezed it, ever so gently, it was impossible to ignore what a longing he felt for this. Fiona was warm; she always had been, much warmer than Even had ever been, and while heat was something he’d been trying to block out the sensation of–thank you again, Axel, for that one–he’d almost forgotten natural her hand in his had felt.

“I missed this.”

His voice came out quieter, more shaky than he’d thought it would, and it really, truly struck Even now that, yes, she was here, and yes, he was allowed to feel that longing, and yes, she had felt that, too. He pulled Fiona’s hand down his cheek, just enough to place a kiss on her palm, and he whispered against her skin, “God, I missed you.”

When Even dared to open his eyes again, he saw Fiona, and how she was smiling at him, tears pricking at her eyes, and all of a sudden they were twenty-something again, side by side, brilliant and unstoppable.

“Weren’t you the one always saying it?” She brought her other hand back to his face, and brushed their lips together. It could hardly have been called a kiss, but it didn’t have to be one. “You and I–we’re a team.”

A sword and shield, the perfect pair. Perhaps he’d been professing his love far longer than he’d thought.

That reaffirmation did it, though, and with no further need to worry about what might or might not happen between them in this moment, Even wrapped his arms around Fiona, and she in turn around him. It was a much more tighter, meaningful, desperate embrace than the one they’d shared this morning, but it wasn’t remorseful, like it was the day she died. It was… dare Even describe it, hopeful. Empowering, even. He placed his chin in the crook of her shoulder, and breathed in her scent, sweet like jasmine, and sighed, his heart finally at ease.

He was here. Fiona was here. And they were together.

And then she shivered.

It might not have been noticeable, had they not been so close, but. It had been a rather large shiver, and Even felt the shudder all the way down her back. He also felt the way Fiona tensed after the fact; she must not have been prepared for it either.

He thought about it, and then shook his head, smiling into her shoulder. “…You just couldn’t have picked a better time.”

“Oh, quiet, you!” She gave his back a hearty pat, but she was laughing right along with him. “It’s the middle of the night, of course I’m cold!”

“Why didn’t you wear your lab coat? It was a much thicker one than mine, if I recall.”

“Dilan insisted on repairing it, and then rather conveniently forgot to tell me where the laundry room in the castle was. And with all the twists and turns the castle has, I thought I might actually die again if I tried looking for it.”

“A most unpleasant hyperbole, please refrain from using it in the future.” He pulled away while he chastised, and when free from her hold, Even removed his own lab coat, placing it around Fiona’s shoulders. It was thinner, as he’d noted, but it would do for now. For her warmth, and in some ways, for his own ego.

“Such a gentleman.” She seemed rather pleased with the outcome though, and tugged the lapels a bit tighter over her chest. “Thank you, dear.”

“Honestly, one would think you’d be used to the cold.” Even thought to offer his arm, like normal, but in a sudden surge of boldness, opted instead to place his hand around Fiona’s waist. “How many times were we told we were joined at the hip?”

“Too many.” Fiona rested her head on his shoulder, allowing him to guide her from behind. “But this isn’t cold to me. It never was.”

“Hmm.” Even said, but it came out more like a “hum”, which was perhaps unfitting of a scientist of his caliber, but right now, he couldn’t bring himself to care. “You certainly pick the strange ones.”

“Then that must go doubly for you.”

“It always has.” 

He squeezed her waist, just enough to pull her closer without making her stop. “Truly, I… I’m glad you’re back. It would take a million lifetimes for me to understand how you are, I’m sure. But I’m grateful I didn’t have to wait until death stuck to see you again.”

“Oh, Even, stop that, now.” 

Fiona did stop walking here, and beat the back of her hand against his chest lightly. “I know I made light of it before, but no more joking about dying, or hopelessness, or futility, alright? From you or me.” 

She unfurled her pointer finger, poking Even in the collar on every beat. “We’re going to get back into that lab, we’re going to continue our research, we’re going to set this town back on the right path... and then!” Her tone turned devious, almost conspiratorial, “We’re going to have sex on every flat surface in Radiant Garden. And I would love to see someone try and stop us this time.”

And here, finally, Even burst into uncontrollable laughter. For the love of the powers that be, he’d never be used to those sudden, tactless proclamations. And he never wanted to be. “F-Fio, you’re too much.”

“Call me greedy.” He felt her lips on his cheek again–perhaps a bit lower than their intended mark, it hit close to his jawline, but still. “I worked a long time to ensure you got a happy ending, and now that I actually get to be in it, we’re going to have it, no matter what.”

“Is that a threat, or a promise?”

“What do you want it to be?”

“Both.” No hesitation. “I do so admire a woman that would kill the gods that made her without hesitation.”

“Not until I’ve gotten them to share the secrets of cold fusion. I have to bring you back a souvenir.”

“Oh, darling, show me the means to manipulate dark matter, and I might not be able to control myself.”

A happy ending, indeed.

~

(“Say,” Fiona said, her arms and legs tangled together with his as they laid in his bed, “I just thought of something.”

Even rose from barely-there slumber,idly rubbing strands of her hair in his fingers; he wondered distantly if he still remembered how to braid her hair. “Mm?”

“We had everything set up to just have Lord Ansem sign our marriage certificate, and have that be that. That’s still more than fine with me, but do you think we can, anymore?”

“Hm… we could certainly try,” That was a good point, actually, but alas, “But I doubt we’ll be getting anything past Aeleus this time. And given the circumstances, he won’t stand for there not being a ceremony.”

“Ohh, why would you say that. I can’t argue The Aeleus Factor.”

“He’d make it an appropriate affair.” Even offered, and placed a kiss on her forehead, simply because he could. Drunk on power, truly. “If I’m correct, it’d be the first wedding since the restoration concluded. A bit more celebration could hardly be a bad thing, in such times.”

“We’ll just have to take one for the team.” She sighed, and one of her hands found its way over his body, lazily tracing circles in the small of his back. “I suppose those boys wouldn’t want that honor right away. Not until Isa’s scar heals, at least. I imagine it wouldn’t be a very fun thing to find in the photo album.”

“Understandable.” Even paused for a second, as though sleep was claiming him once more, and then added, “Just don’t expect me to wear black.”

“Oh? What if I wore black, then?” Fiona’s voice lilted with amusement at the idea. “I could take your old coat, and Queen Ortensia could help me make it into a dress. Wouldn’t that be something?”

“Fio. Could I divorce you before actually marrying you?”

“Good luck. If you couldn’t get rid of me the first time, it’s not happening the second.”

Even shook with silent laughter, and smiled into her hair. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”)

[sublimegentlemanalpaca]

Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica and Kingdom Hearts. What? How? Why?

Let me first explain how this thought entered my brain. A while ago, I made a post on a how an Anabias Machine (the Pocket Watches) would be decorated for Rose. Two dragons forming an Infinity symbol, something to represent her mother and the Morgraine, then realized ‘oh wait. Her Uncles the Inklings have to be included...’. By that point the design had become far too busy for a Pocket Watch. I then began wondering what could fit all that stuff. Something to represent her self, her Father, Mother, her Uncles, maybe something for her friends Laura Glue and Edmund, perhaps Poe since he’s the Arch Imago and what not (like I said, far too busy). The first thought was perhaps a Painting or Tapestry ( I could imagine a Redwall style Tapestry for the series. That would be awesome!). Then I thought, perhaps stained glass. Wait a minute....stain glass representing someone’s inner self and showing people they have a personal connection with...Of course! In that moment I remembered those stain glass circles that from what I understand are meant to represent a person’s Heart or some such. With that thought in mind, having both Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica and Kingdom Hearts on the brain at the exact same moment, I soon began to wonder....what if the two were to crossover? A slew of questions bombarded my mind then. First, what sort of Crossover would it be? Would it be the sort that takes the Trappings of one series and dresses another in them (the Transplant sort of Crossover). Would it be a patch work where the two had always inhabited the San...realizing the ridiculousness of that thought, the obvious answer hit me like a ton of bricks. The simplest way to go about it, just have them Crossover thanks to Inter Dimensional Travel. I mean, it exists in both series so it would work. Other, more specific questions followed. Would one end up more dominant over the other, which series’ rules would over take the other, and where would there be harmony? Who would Crossover? Would it be Rose and her fellow Young Magicians meeting up with Sora and company? Would it be an Earlier group of Caretakers meeting older figures like Yensid or Ansem the wise (Poe meeting him would be interesting given the subjects of Revenge and redemption)? Would everyone’s favorite Caretakers of Prophecy be involved? Newer Caretakers like those who follow the Inklings? Where would it happen in each series Timeline (a confusing question)? Would the Heartless be extensions of the Echthroi? Would the Cabal, or ICS feature in anyway alongside Organization XIII. How pissed off would John and Jack be of Disney Characters actually existing somewhere? How odd would it be if that idea of Walt Disney being an ICS member were to carry over? How would others feel about certain concepts. How would Dee exploit the ideas of Nobodies, or how irked would Master Xehanort be if he found out Tulpas were a thing and he wasted so much effort. What would Hearts have to do with Shadows. How do the Messengers fit into all this? I mean, Inter Dimensional Travel, surely the Messangers have a part to play. How would characters react to Darkness and what not. Most importantly....who on the Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica side would get a Keyblade, and how many more Maps would need to be made for the Universal Imaginarium Geographica? On another note, wouldn’t a few ‘worlds’ in KH (such as the World that never Was, Castle Oblivion, or Yensid’s Tower) be categorized as Soft Places? On that note, have the Soft places been mapped? Though one of the most pressing questions is what would the circumstances be for a Crossover? Would it be a grand scale epic sort of thing? Or just a small drable series? Perhaps a series of one shots of Characters getting the chance to interact on some flimsy explanation just so such an interaction can take place (Like I said Poe and Ansem the Wise. Or perhaps Prospero (along with Caretaker Will Shakespeare) meeting DIZ in one of those Soft Place taverns. Just talking about research, revenge, and redemption). I wonder if Poe in his long life has ever walked through the Realm of Darkness. There’s an Idea. Anyway, there’s that, all sprung from a cool idea for an image. Make of this what you will. ~ Al, the Chronographing Cottager.

[jesusdeytiquez07-blog]

The True Name of the Master of Masters and My Theories for Kingdom Hearts

Kingdom Hearts X (Chi) and SALIGIA: the Key to an Allegory By Jesus C. Deytiquez Disclaimer: The following (except those validated or founded facts in the Kingdom Hearts series) are my own speculations based with research and knowledge. And sorry for the grammatical errors if there is/are. Reincarnation Theory I know that there is a theory spreading among the fans of Kingdom Hearts like me that proposes the idea that the foretellers and their master, the Master of Masters, will die and then be reincarnated into the several characters that we are very familiar with (e.g. Sora being the reincarnation of Gula). I really cannot say that I am one hundred percent certain with the accuracy of what I will be going to show in this article, but, maybe, just maybe, my speculations will help my fellow fans to reconsider or rethink the aforementioned theory. My Story I am a writer and I like reading and writing allegories, or stories that hide deeper meanings in them through symbolism or imagery, with the goal (although somewhat paradoxical) that by masking such meanings, the meanings will be understood by the reader in a way that a normal presentation cannot do. I like the allegories of C.S. Lewis, Dante Alighieri, John Bunyan, and other Christian writers; they all utilize their character’s name and personality to present several ideas to their reader. One common thing also about them is that they always introduce to their readers the seven deadly sins, namely, pride, avarice, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth by creating characters of their own, based on the sins with related names and suitable personalities—the seven antagonists in the anime Full Metal Alchemist will be the contemporary example of this allegorical style. And these characters representing the seven deadly sins will be the characters that the protagonist will need to encounter and overcome during his or her journey. And I, moved by the beauty of their stories and that particular style, tried to write my own. My Research, Discovery, the Seven Deadly Sins, and the Master of Masters’ Name During my attempt to create my own allegory, of course, I also done some further research to aid me in my endeavor. Ex nihilo nihil fit. From nothing comes nothing. I need to receive first before I can give. Then I discovered along the way that the seven deadly sins, when translated to Latin, will have these names: Superbia, Avaritia, Luxuria, Invidia, Gula, Ira, and Acedia (SALIGIA). By the time I discovered this, mysteriously, I also discovered that there is an android game of my all-time-favorite game, Kingdom Hearts, which is Kingdom Hearts X (Chi) or which now called as Kingdom Hearts Union Cross. (This happened way back late 2016.) I hastily installed the app, and you can imagine my surprise when I learned the name of the foretellers who were the leaders of the five unions. The five foretellers possess names from the seven deadly sins! Master Ava is avaritia. Master Invi is invidia. Master Aced is acedia, and so forth. In other words, the Master of Master’s name, which is still unrevealed last time I checked, is almost sure to be Superbia or some shortened version of that Latin word for pride. I know that it is really fitting for the Master of Masters’ name to be a name for pride because, according to the Christian faith from which the concept of the seven deadly sins originated, pride is the father or master of all remaining deadly sins. Furthermore, all other sins still have some love for others in them or they really on other persons to exist (e.g. you can get mad or be wrathful to a person because you still have, no matter how imperfect or perverted, some care or love for that person, you can envy a person because you perceive him to be better than you etc.). But pride only focuses on itself. Remember the keyblades of the foretellers. All have hearts in them except for the keyblade of the Master of Masters. In support of this, remember how the Master of Masters seemed to be apathetic to what is to befall. But, you might, of course, object that that particular keyblade will be passed on later to Luxu and then to Xehanort. Yes, it was passed on later to several persons, but such objection can be answered easily through analysis of the personalities of the successors and the sins themselves. Lust can easily become more like its father when it is, ultimately, already about satisfying the pleasure of the self alone. And, remember also how Xehanort used Terra and his friends for his own “selfish” reason. The Seven Lights or Virtues Now we will return to the reincarnation theory. I think that if there are seven deadly sins or vices, then there will be also seven virtues that the Christian faith also enumerated, namely, Humility or Humilitas, Charity or Caritas, Chastity or Castitas, Kindness or Humanitas, Temperance or Temperantia, Patience or Patientia, and Diligence or Industria. I believe that these virtues, being contrary to them, are what the foretellers lacked or even repelled respectively, and such lacking and repulsion of those virtues became the reason for their own downfall (I can still remember a clip showing Ira lacking patience during the crisis, being wrath). Sora, Kairi, Riku, Ventus, Aqua, and Terra are the six of those seven virtues or guardians of the light while King Mickey will be the leader. And you can see, dear reader, how very suitable it is for King Mickey to be Humilitas because a mouse is commonly seen as lowly or humble. In other words, the two leaders of warring factions are King Mickey and Superbia. Humility and Pride. Thirteen Seekers of Darkness and Twelve Seekers of Light But of course there are also a dark group called the Thirteen Seekers of Darkness, and currently such group only has six members namely Master Xehanort, Young Xehanort, Terra-Xehanort (heartless), Terra-Xehanort (nobody), Xigbar, and Saïx. How can such a group be completed? One very probable answer is: by adding the fallen seven deadly sins or foretellers. Thus, maybe, just maybe, the foretellers did not really die and got reincarnated to become our seven guardians of the light just as what the reincarnation theory says, but only became fallens and just wandered somewhere and somehow, only to be gathered by the liar and schemer, Superbia to join his student (probably), Xehanort, for a later battle against the denizens of the light. If the aforementioned is true, then the seven guardians of the lights are clearly outnumbered. But let us also remember that thirteen, which is considered as an evil number, also have a positive counterpart: number twelve. Remember that in the Judeo-Christian tradition, the number twelve, along with one, three, five, and seven, is a number for perfection. Furthermore, the Catholic tradition listed twelve fruits of the Holy Spirit: Charity, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Generosity, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Modesty, Self-Control, and Chastity. Christ, on the other hand, enumerated thirteen things on Mark 7:21-22 that defile and arise in the heart: wicked thoughts; acts of immorality, of theft, of murder, of adultery, of greed, of maliciousness, deceit, immoderate conduct, an Evil Eye (remember the eye in the keyblade of the Master of Master’s?), blasphemy, arrogance, and lack of good sense.1 Therefore, there must really be twelve seekers of light! Now, aside from Master Yen Sid, Lea is an additional keyblade wielder in the series, and there is also an official video showing Xion and Roxas joining the fight with Sora and his pals. If they really are the additional four seekers, then there are already eleven seekers of light. I wonder who will complete the group? Maybe one or several of the characters in KHUX will be the one(s) to complete the missing spot/s or replace any or even all of the probable four: Ephemer, Strelitzia, Skuld, our character in KHUX, Blaine (though very unlikely and suspicious), and Lauriam (also very unlikely and suspicious). Though still outnumbered by one it is better than only seven, and let us recall also that in the Christian faith, it is the disadvantaged or the weak or the poor that emerges at the end. In Short… Here are the two theories I harbor for the mystery introduced by the age of the foretellers and the Master of Master’s: Superbia or the Master of Masters is the ultimate villain and Invi was the traitor. What is Invi’s mask? A snake. We all know that in Judeo-Christian faith, it is out of envy that Cain betrayed and killed his brother, Abel. Does this mean Invi, a snake, is the one who betrayed them? It is kind of obvious. But the again, is there really any traitor? As what I have said earlier, the devil (known as the father of all lies and as pride which is the father of all sins) is symbolized in Kingdom Hearts, in my own opinion, as the Master of Masters. He might just have lied to all in order for them to kill one another to try to form Kingdom Hearts or the X-blade at the expense of their souls or hearts. He might have just instructed Ava to save some special keyblade wielders or dandelions in order for them to be his backup guinea pigs in case the keyblade war failed to bring his selfish desire fruition; of course, erasing their memories, as what he ordered to Ava, will be very helpful and safe for his plan if ever. (Remember the connection of Ventus as a Dandelion in KHUX and as a boy with no memories in Birth by Sleep.) Kingdom Hearts as a Christian Allegory Now, as an extra, let us ponder on this question: is Kingdom Hearts a Christian allegory? Before I say my opinion about the key or the main theme of Kingdom Hearts series, I would like to warn the reader that if he or she does not like religious matters or hate them, especially those concerning Christianity, he or she is free to read some other article. Now, for those who still willed to accompany me up until the end, I will say that, in my own opinion, Kingdom Hearts’ theme, the very key that connects all worlds in it, is ultimately, very Christian. Of course, the stained glasses are very much related to Christianity, but these particular beauty in the game are only one part (that started it all) of the many things that convinced me to believe and propose such opinion. Consider one of the most crucial points in Kingdom Hearts: Sora’s sacrifice. Like Christ, he sacrificed his life for his beloved. He, in a sense died, in order for Kairi to live. Sora is a Christ-like figure in the Kingdom Hearts. He is the one to mend all the hurting. And since we talked about Sora’s sacrifice and remembered how he became a heartless and a nobody, we might as well talk about the keyblade, the heartless and the nobodies. There are three forces in the world of Kingdom Hearts: the keyblade, the heartless, and the nobodies (as what Roxas drawing shown us in KHII). I believe that the keyblade symbolizes the goodness of God; the heartless symbolizes the people who were consumed by the sin in their hearts; the nobodies are those who are in between or those who are in a state very akin with being in limbo. Of course the people in Kingdom Heart’s world will also symbolize normal human beings like us, and we can all chose which side we will be: the keyblade’s or in God’s side where we will experience everlasting joy in the end, or the forever darkness or hell or eternal suffering because of unappeasable or unquenchable hunger or thirst caused by the hole in one’s chest, or in limbo where we will be in a state of not really suffering nor joyful. In the end it is the keyblade or the goodness or grace of God that will save us from both of the latter and undesirable ends. In support of the aforementioned, normal people like wielders in the Kingdom Hearts world can feel all kind of emotions, the heartless only the unappeasable hunger or thirst to fill the hole in their chest, and the nobodies does not really feel anything. (Special and good nobodies like Roxas might be considered as those who are in purgatory, or a place in hell where souls suffer for a while to become cleansed and later on be in heaven or become “truly real”.) Consider the possessors of the keyblade with no heart: the Master of Masters, Luxu, and Xehanort. They symbolize the demonic side. Aside from the facts or premises already stated earlier, consider this: the sign of the devil looks like what? A goat’s head. What animal did Christ use as a symbol for those who rejected Him until the end? Goat. What animal design does that particular keyblade that the Master of Masters, Luxu, and Xehanort possess/ed? A goat’s head. Since we are on the subject, I think the masks or animal representations of the foretellers are also very fitting for them. A bear hibernates thus can be considered as lazy. A unicorn, as described in mythologies, have a short-temper and can fly into a very bloodthirsty rage, and thus can be considered wrathful. A fox is considered as cunning. A snake, a traitor. A jaguar, a hasty and deadly animal. Trinity is also always being subtly emphasized in KH. Sora, Kairi, and Riku. Ventus, Aqua, and Terra. Roxas, Xion, and Axel. Hayner, Pence, and Olette. The keyblade, heartless, and nobodies. Mickey, Donald, and Goofy—speaking of Mickey, Mickey Mouse’s head is (this one added as a kind of a joke) composed of three circles. The wielder, the keyblade, and the spirit. The wielder can be seen as the Father. The keyblade can be seen as the instrument for salvation or the Son. The Chirity is the guide or the Holy Spirit. Chi is for cross right? Which can mean Christian. Chirity sounds like a mix of the words Chi, trinity and spirit, right? So, the introduction of the Chirity might be pointing to us the symbolism of the Holy Trinity which is the very cornerstone of Christianity, through the interconnection of the wielder, the keyblade, and the spirit. Of course, the Master of Masters may have also lied that he was the one who created them (the chirities). And of course there is the reverse side too. There are the corrupt wielders, the keyblades of darkness, and the nightmare chirities. There is the devil, evil persons or his angels, and the spirit of the antichrist. The devil, as what many saints describe him, likes to turn good and beautiful things into evil and ugly things. For an example look at the reversed cross. The true cross is where the justice and mercy of God kissed, for the salvation of humankind, and the original reversed cross is a sign of St. Peter’s martyrdom and love for Christ. Yet look at the symbol of the antichrist: a reversed cross. And also look at the hour of Christ’s death or the hour of divine mercy which is considered as three in the afternoon, then remember what is always considered to be the most ungodly hour or the devil’s hour (as popularized by the enemy’s agenda I am sure of it): three in the morning. And there is also the black coat that characters use to safely pass through the corridor of darkness and resist its corruption. Veteran readers of Christian mysticism and theology will be quickly triggered by the mention of these two—especially those who read St. John of the Cross, St. Thérèse of Lisieux, and St. Teresa of Calcutta; they all have written about that dark night of the soul where there is a darkness that will engulf the soul and enable her (the soul) to pass through a path, unnoticed, and finally meet her Beloved, who is God. The corridor of darkness might be a symbol for a path of suffering or spiritual dryness that the saints usually goes through, and the black coat is the night that will embrace the saint’s soul in order for her to be safely united with the Beloved. But in the end, there is also a hint of Manichaeism or Dualism in KH; Riku’s statement in KH II that light and darkness are eternal pretty much sums up those two beliefs. But of course, maybe he was just fooled by the earlier speech of Xehanort (nobody). But whether KH really endorse the aforementioned two or not, it will not change the fact that the good must be prior to evil and the two are not coeternal with one another; evil is just a perversion the good just as a spoiled food is an edible meal before as what C.S. Lewis once said.2 It is the desire to be powerful and own exclusively the light that made the Master of Masters be like who he is (Xehanort too!). It is because of the desire to be equal to God that Lucifer became a fallen angel. The foolish gods and goddesses of the myth that fought for the possession of the apple of self did not know that it is by sharing that a soul or two is blessed.3 Again it is pride or selfishness that introduced darkness into KH’s world and ours. It is only by Humility or love that the light will return much brighter than before. Ending Remarks There are many other premises and theories that I can include but this article of mine is already too long. Perhaps I will enumerate them in a future article. I am currently busy so I guess I will write that one in a distant future. Let’s meet again somewhere, sometime, and somehow! _________ 1. Elliot, J. (2016). Beware the Evil Eye (Vol. 3). Eugene: Wipf and Stock Publishers. 2. Lewis, C.S. (1952) Mere Christianity. Great Britain: G. Bles. Bibliography: Black Coat. (2017). Kingdom Hearts Wiki. Retrieved 30 November 2017, from http://kingdom hearts.wikia.com/wiki/Black_Coat Bunyan, J. (1967). The Pilgrim’s Progress. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Pub. House. Elliot, J. (2016). Beware the Evil Eye (Vol. 3). Eugene: Wipf and Stock Publishers. Fruit of the Holy Spirit. (2017). En.wikipedia.org. Retrieved 30 November 2017, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_of_the_Holy_Spirit Lewis, C.S. (1961). An Experiment in Criticism. London: Cambridge University Press. Lewis, C.S. (1952) Mere Christianity. Great Britain: G. Bles. Lewis, C.S. (1933). The Pilgrim’s Regress: An Allegorical Apology for Christianity, Reason, and Romanticism. London: J.M. Dent and Sons. Real Organization XIII-Kingdom Hearts Wiki, the Kingdom Hearts encyclopedia. (2017). Khwiki.com. Retrieved 30 November 2017, from https://www.khwiki.com/Real_Organization_XIII Seven deadly sins. (2017). En.m.wikipedia.org. Retrieved 30 November 2017, from https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins The Seven Lights. (2017). Kingdom Hearts Wiki. Retrieved 30 November 2017, from http://kingdomhearts.wikia.com/wiki/ The_Seven_Lights