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flovey-dovey · 5 years

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Part 2 of my thoughts on Klaus

Spoilers! Did I mention that already?

When they watch Margu playing in the light of dawn, Jesper puts his hand on Klaus’ arm and keeps it there rather than excitedly pat it once or twice to get his attention like a simple platonic friend might. And while Jesper watches her, Klaus watches Jesper with a very warm, affectionate look that Jesper doesn’t try to shirk or shrug awkwardly off.

When Klaus puts his hand on his back, Jesper just smiles wider, and when they return to Klaus’ property the look on the woodsman’s face as he listened to Jesper talk like a doting parent and his solid “I do” in reply to what he was saying says even more.

Heck- part of Klaus’ tragic past was that he and his wife never got to have children no matter how much they wanted and waited, and here comes Jesper with every child in Smeerenburg and beyond at his heels. Klaus even tells him this past, openly, freely and even with a chuckle or two, and right after saying how his life had fallen into aimless misery turns to say “and then you came along.”. Klaus even has Jesper blindfolded before showing him the sleigh with both their names carved into it at what was most likely his request.

Very couple-like and very sweet in my opinion. After the “liar revealed” scene, Klaus sees his name as he climbs in and hesitates, clearly thinking of him.

(also, notice in this shot how Jesper is centered with Klaus- not Alva)

And let’s not forget the mountainside scene after the big chase or the look on Klaus’ face when Jesper echoes his wife’s words with full conviction: “A true selfless act always sparks another”.

Now we’re nearing the end of the movie, so let’s talk about Jesper’s father some more. In the last quarter of the movie, his father comes back and he and Jesper go to the boat that would take them back home. Before they cast off, though, it’s said not long later that Jesper told his father “everything” and how he thought he’d be mad at him. Why? If it was work related, why would Jesper be afraid his father would get upset by him wanting to stay and do the job he gave him? That he wanted him to have? Why would he be afraid his father would get mad at him for finding love in Alva, if that truly was the case? Could it be that part of “everything” was how Jesper did find love, but that it was in someone who didn’t fit into society’s unrelentingly heteronormative mold (gonna be using that word a bit but I’m tired so bear with me), and as a result meant he wouldn’t fit either? Which brings me to a minor point of my opinion: did Jesper ever fit? It could’ve been another reason why his father was trying so hard to impose socially acceptable opportunities on him, or why Jesper had rebelled against them so stubbornly. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

(also, notice the look on Jesper’s face here when confronted by his father’s silent urging for him to come out with whatever he knew he had on his mind)

Before I wrap this up, here are a few other bits and pieces I wanted to mention:

* When Jesper talks at Margu after realizing their toy inventory was running low, he says “they” were running out of toys rather than “he” (Klaus) was running out of toys, which his arrogant self in the first half-ish part of the movie would’ve surely said.

* During one of the times Jesper talks at Margu and asked what he was supposed to do if he failed, he mentions Klaus and doesn’t even bring up Alva.

* Jesper, while talking to Alva about the school’s turnaround and her own change in outlook, looks and sounds more confused/baffled than teasing, flirty or pleased.

* The strongest moment Jesper and Alva share, emotionally, is never more than the one they share while helping Margu write her letter to Klaus. To my memory, he and Klaus share two very prominent ones, with a possible third or fourth (or fifth or sixth) on top of that.

* Alva gives Klaus a peck on the cheek instead of Jesper, who she presumably now has romantic feelings for. Why don’t they kiss before the ending “where are they now” bit? At all?

* Alva, when watching the townies ice skating with Jesper, doesn’t move to pull him out onto the ice for some potentially romantic happenings if she had turned to see the troubled look on his face, laughing and smiling to try and cheer him up or going out on the town to partake in the festivities. This could’ve shown us more of Alva’s character and it would’ve been better than just NARRATING IT AT THE ENDING. And, yes, I know movies have deadlines, but it didn’t have to be more than ten seconds long and could’ve given a look into the town’s culture as it started to reform, and afterwards Jesper could’ve still gone back to the post office to build Margu’s little sleigh, possibly with some encouragement from Alva. Nothing had to change, but it wouldn’t have hurt to at least show their romance forming since a few seconds can go a long way.

* During the ending chase, Klaus and Jesper are literally having a lover’s quarrel.

* Klaus acting like an embarrassed husband when he steps up all covered in red from head to toe and Jesper joking with him about it, earning another hearty laugh from Klaus with ease, and Klaus’ apparent concern when Jesper urges his father outside to talk privately.

* The entirety of the reindeer scene and as they ride off, laughing, when their eyes meet and they realize they were having fun in each other’s company- very naturally, at that.

* Klaus lamenting how their time working together was coming to an end and with it their main reason for being with each other, as underplayed as the both of them make it seem.

* Jesper makes Klaus laugh; them sharing laughs together where I don’t recall seeing Jesper having the same thing with Alva, nor do I remember seeing her making him laugh.

* Klaus picking up and just holding Jesper will never not be cute to me.

So, in short, I hate heteronormative romances- especially when they come out of nowhere and have to be NARRATED at the END of the movie with little to no prior build up or implications that, yes, this is how you should’ve been expecting things to end up (yes I’m still upset about the ending). I saw it coming the second I saw the official trailer and after witnessing all the bonding between Klaus and Jesper I can’t help but feel cheated- dragged along for the ride like I was watching the Titanic sinking as someone was describing an entirely different outcome at the same time. They built Klaus and Jesper’s relationship- romantic, platonic, what-have-you- and then ripped it away to shove something completely unwarranted into my face instead.

If they’re going to have the guy get together with the girl, if they have interactions that show the feeling is mutual and more than friendship, trust and respect (which every good romance should have by default), if they WANT to be together and feel attracted and desire to be together, then I’m all for it- that’s what I expect love to be. But I still feel betrayed and sad and angry at the ending, especially since I feel like Alva and Jesper got together for the simple reason of deterring people like me from thinking Jesper and Klaus would or should end up together, even to the point of killing him off. I can’t prove it, and I’m sure that’s not why he died, but I’m going to say something that I know sounds mean but I don’t mean it spitefully:

I don’t care.

I don’t care if Klaus’ death and the ending it was attached to was poetic or happy-sad, bittersweet or what-have-you. I can’t help but not care because I literally haven’t seen anything break the relationship mold in a movie since I was shown my first movie or read my first romantic novel.

In any case, this movie came so, so close to being the most cathartic thing I’ve ever seen and it makes me so, so sad to have it fall prey to a completely standard method of storytelling endings when it presented such a vibrant and unique setting with the done-to-death theme of Christmas. You don’t even know how sad it makes me where, in this world of cowards afraid to make art for fear of losing money (which, I understand, everybody needs) or properly represent underrepresented groups of individuals or have a man and woman become friends and REMAIN purely friends- maybe even being the wingman/woman for their own relationship- I, against my fears, genuinely thought this film, this beautiful, inspiring masterpiece of animation, would be able to give me the shameless, unabashed and genuine non-heteronormative love I have still yet to see in a movie that doesn’t end in tragedy or act to disgrace anyone from that spectrum.

Klaus and Jesper saw parts of each other- ugly, angry, funny and secret- that nobody else saw, did things for each other that for the life of me I couldn’t find being done for the romance we were “supposed” to root for or even see coming (but, come on, “of course” they got together- what were you expecting, you wishful idiot?). For a movie with the underlying theme of how love was always better than letting spite fester into hate, it sure didn’t give me much to believe in terms of Jesper and Alva hooking up in the end. They could’ve had a friendly sort of love, but we can’t always get what we want. On that note, Pumpkin and Olaf (if that’s what his name is- I forget) getting married in the ending could’ve posed to the two clans “you hate each other, but don’t you love me?”, putting the leaders of both clans in the position of questioning their history and tradition of generations past so they didn’t lose the bonds they have in the present and that new traditions could be worth the effort for the sake of a better future. It’d be nice to see.

Anyway, no matter how it ended, you can’t tell me that Klaus and Jesper weren’t pining for each other more and more throughout the film. You can’t. Because I saw it, and no amount of ham-fisted “oh by the way” narration had to tell me it was happening or was planned “all along”.

Peace out and Merry Christmas to you all, gosh dang it.

- Flovey~Dovey

#Klaus #text post #Jesper #Alva #Klausper #TALL AND SMAAAAALL #part 2

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for-peace-war · 5 years

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art by @idrawbuffgirls

My third hour-writing exercise. This one involves @scowlet‘s Pictish borderer, Caethe, and @iamreinhardt‘s Valenso.

I did this at the library so, may be a little wonky in places. As always, Kelzack did an awesome job with the piece above! And well, I tried a different writing style for reasons.

THE GREAT WINGED ONE.

Follows Part I.

Follows Part II.

Part III.

The Aquilonians moved like wolves. She was the wolf. For two days she had tracked them. When they slept, she watched. When they moved, she trailed. When they ate, she waited. Woodmanship was not in their blood—they did not know what it meant. From papers, they had learned. No, not papers—books, they were called books. The word was repeated in her mind as she padded after them. Always upwind. Always certain that she lived in their shadows.

They were aware she was nearby. She wanted that. Pictland’s trees were old and true. They were thick, strong, sturdy—not at all like Aquilonian soldiers. The woods were her allies. She had known allies before as true and strong, but they were gone. Now she hunted. Now she waited for the time to strike. The longer she held off, the more uncomfortable they became. They were nervous, like boys that had not yet been blooded. Yes, they had fought in wars—but they had never been in War. The wolf knew the difference.

There were no battles to be won or lost.

There was only death.

In some ways, it was a game. Pictish children did not learn to play empty games. Not like dancing—no, not like singing, either. Songs had to have meaning; so did dancing. If a step was made, it was with another in mind. If a note was shared, then there had to be a reason for it to be called out. To keep away their fears, the Aquilonians sang to themselves. They were bad singers—but worse, they were bad wolves. Wolves called out for a reason. Fear was never a reason to call out.

And she was a lone wolf now. Who would answer her, if she did call?

Caethe could smell them. She had learned as a child which herbs would keep her sharp and which would make others sleep. The Aquilonians, who sang when they were afraid and scratches at bites when they were nervous, did not know these things. They thought they were hunting for wolves.

They did not know the jaws were already around their throats.

There were six of them. Speculatores, they were called. The Aquilonian Empire of Maxentius Supremus had fallen, but parts remained. This was a part—this was the part where they said his mother came from. Was it true? Could she, a Child of the Crow, have betrayed her people? Some said so, but what was the betrayal? A mother had her child. She raised her child. If he was bad, was that her fault? Caethe didn’t know. She didn’t even care. . Maxentius was dead. His empire had fallen. The men that pretended to be wolves would soon be skinned and their pelts left out to the sun.

She turned her head and took in a sharp sniff. The leaves overheard cast dark shadows, which danced over her eyes. If she had used her eyes to see; if her ears were not sharp, or her nose was not as swift to catch scent, then she would have missed it. But she could smell it. One of the speculators had slipped away. He was looking to catch her. But his bladder was weak—weaker than the thews it had stained. Piss was the only scent more acrid than fear she could think of.

What was certain to be a trap, was now merely a feast.

A large tree loomed to her right, and further ahead she knew the Aquilonian awaited his supposed prey. She could have run past it, turned and fired three arrows into him before his weapon was free. Since leaving the Accursed Lands, she had learned that others—even other Picts—were slow. They were lazy. Caethe knew that if it came down to it, she could kill three of the scouts before she was taken. But there was only one of her, and the three would be replaced.

Killing the hunter would be enough, wouldn’t it?

She hungered for something—something that wasn’t the hunt.

Ahead, she heard the wind shift a few branches. But those branches were not shifting in the way the wind should have. The Aquilonian was preparing for her. She could see him in her mind: tense, eager. Ready to kill. Killing was something they were good at, she knew. She had found the remains of many villages. These men killed whatever they could place their hands on.

It was time to take their hands.

Caethe knelt before the water along the coast. The Aquilonian had been taken as quickly as she spotted him. He offered a bird’s call—a bird not from the forest. His friend came and she killed him too. A third would have meant she was captured.

So she was alright with two dead men.

She looked at herself in the water. Did she recognize the person that looked at her? She did not know. The Accursed Lands had darkened her somewhat, but not as it would in other places. Her eyes were different. Her lips were different. Neither could express joy as they once did. She felt sad for who she was, but also for who she could not be. Aquilonian blood clouded the water as she dipped her hands in once more.

Now, she saw only red.

A pebble, twenty paces away, shifted.

Caethe was up. She stood so quickly that her arrow had trained on the target before it had fully presented itself. The wind had not betrayed her, but her reflection had. She smelled him and knew instantly why she had not been alerted.

“Caethe,” Valenso said as he held his palms up. “It has been too long, has it not?”

The Pictish woman took the Zingaran in as he approached. He wore strange clothes. They would not do well in woodmanship, even the Aquilonians knew that. But he was on the coast. He did not intend to venture into the wilds.

He was not a wolf.

She fought to remember which language they shared. “Hi,” she said, in her best Shemitish.

The Zingaran came closer and she lowered her bow and arrow. He wore thick silks that swayed as he moved, and smelled off girl’s perfume. At least, she thought he did. She knew his steps were meant for the sea by how he swayed. She did not like ships.

“I take it that you are surprised to see me, old friend?” He was more comfortable speaking Shemitish.

She nodded. “Yes. Hi.”

“Always the conversationalist.” He was joking. He smiled.

She showed her teeth, too. Not in the way of anger. As with a friend. “Okay.”

“Do you mind if we speak?”

“No.”

He looked around. Valenso did not like being in the open. “Somewhere else?”

“Okay,” she said. He opened his mouth to speak again, but she was moving. She did not move as fast as she normally would. He was not a woodsman. But he could be quiet in step, so she stepped quietly too.

When they had left the Accursed Lands, Valenso had shown her his ship. It was big—he was proud of it. She did not know what to make of it, but he liked it so she did too. She knew she had no ship to show him; nothing big. All she had was the Pictlands, and they were not hers. Not really, anyway. The Aquilonians had been fools to claim them as their own. But there were other reasons for that than rebellions.

A person could not own land.

Land owned the person—and the wolves that hunted him.

She had set up camp upwind from her scouting party. They were looking for their friends. They would not find them for a night, she knew. Aquilonians were easy to distract. They did not fight well in forests. They never knew to look up.

There was a cluster of trees she liked. She had marked it with her knife, like a bear. Valenso did not notice, but she had been proud of that cut.

“You are quite the little homemaker, aren’t you?”

“This is not a home,” she said. “This is forest.”

“Is not a forest your home?”

“Forest is not a home. Forest is home.”

“Philosophically significant, my friend.”

“Okay.”

She set her arrows down. She then set herself down.

He did not follow. His silks would become damp, she knew. Like the Aquilonian’s leg. The one she had killed—the one that pissed himself.

“I suppose you are wondering why I am here.”

“No,” she said.

“Oh?”

“You want something.”

“You wound me!”

“Sorry.” She paused. “What do you want?”

Valenso laughed. She liked his laugh. She did not laugh in return, but she swayed a little. Aesileif’s laugh was better, but she was gone. She went to the mountains.

The Zingaran made a gesture she did not understand. His hand tipped one way, it went the other. “Perhaps I do want a little something.”

“Okay.”

“You are so quick to agree, my friend!”

“Yes.” Why he wasted so many words always confused her. Maybe he liked his voice? She did too. Not for woodmanship, no. He would die if he hunted. But she liked his voice.

“Well, do you want to know how I found you so quickly?”

“No,” she said.

The Zingaran opened his mouth. He then closed it. “Oh.”

“Do you want me to know?”

“Well, it would make things faster.”

“Okay,” she said. “Tell me.”

“Tsekani has been gathering people for an adventure.”

“Stygian,” she said.

“The darker of the two, yes.”

“No Zaliki?”

“Not since I left her.” He seemed sad. She rose and moved over, then patted his arm. It did not mean anything to her, but Aquilonians did it. When he smiled, she patted his forehead. When Aesileif did that to her, she felt better.

“I will go.”

“Eh—don’t you want to know where?”

“No.”

For a minute he was quiet. Was he upset? She touched his arm again.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said. “Why did they even send me?” He was upset. Not in the way men were when they were sad. He was upset like a city man. “They could have sent a parrot… had it say ‘Come with me,’ and you would have done it. All this walking—all of this planning. I had even thought to impress you with some swordplay. Perhaps unman one of those scouts and then say—well, it doesn’t matter, does it?”

She waited to see if he was talking to her or himself. He didn’t seem to know, either. But then he looked at her, so she answered. “No,” she said. She showed him her teeth again. Her eyebrows lifted.

The Zingaran sighed. “Is there anything that will make you reconsider? Perhaps so that I can at least charm you into coming with us?”

“No.”

“Can I try?”

“Okay.”

The Zingaran puffed up. Like a rooster, ready to crow. He strutted a bit and waved his hand. “There is danger ahead of us. Ymirish Lords—do you know what those are, my friend?”

“Yes.”

“Terrifying, no?”

“No.”

“What? Twenty arrows would not bring one down from the best marksman!”

Caethe looked down to her quiver. She then looked back to Valenso.

“I have one-hundred.” She used her fingers to count as he stared at her. When she finished, she held up five fingers. “We can kill five.”

At last, the Zingaran gave up and threw his head back to laugh. Caethe waited and then did as well. He placed a hand on her shoulder. She let him.

“You truly are a marvel, my friend.”

His compliment was touching. Her cheeks felt warm. In that moment, she said the only thing that came to her mind—for it held all the thought she knew.

“Okay.”

#conan #caethe the pict #valenso the zingaran #writing exercise

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shinigami-mistress · 6 years

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(Evil?) Queen Grell

I was joking around with a story for lovely Queen Grell here, and I actually ended up writing it out fully! It’s a tad long, but I wanted to post it for everyone’s enjoyment. It’s a total crack fic - a fairy tale AU, but I had a blast writing it.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful yet slightly insane queen named Grell who ruled over her chaotic kingdom with flair and a certain deadly charm. She was a beauty to behold with blood red hair, fair skin, and eyes of green and gold, but she was as dangerous as she was beautiful. Everyone approached the queen with great caution as no one wanted to incur her wrath.

Each day began the same for queen, although she typically eschewed routine, and this day was no different. She awoke at her own leisure and then went through an intense beauty ritual. No one, not even her most faithful servants, was allowed to lay eyes on her until her hair was styled, her makeup applied, and her wardrobe perfectly assembled. Today she had styled her hair in loose ringlets that were piled upon her head with only a few curls allowed to cascade down her bare back. Her dress was scarlet - a shade darker than her hair, and clung like a second skin to show off her slender muscles. It was cut low in back; stopping just shy of her hips although the skirt was full. With the dresses gold trim, she truly looked like a present just waiting to be opened.

Finally ready, Queen Grell quit her chamber, but she didn’t go to her throne room or even to the dining hall. Instead, she walked down a long hall to a set of narrow steps that led to a tall tower forbidden to everyone but her. This was also part of her ritual, and everyone had long since learned to stay back. The queen was not to be approached until it was completed.

At the top of the tower was a tiny, round room with a single window that commanded a spectacular view of much of the kingdom. Grell ignored that as she crossed the room to remove a red, velvet curtain from the wall to reveal an ancient mirror.

The black trimmed mirror wasn’t much to look at. There were cracks along the right bottom corner that looked like a growing spider’s web, and the surface had a scratched, burnished appearance that didn’t seem as if it would be good for reflection. Grell, however, ignored all these things as she stepped in front of the mirror.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall,” she began, “Who is the most fabulous of them all?”

“Fu, fu, fu,” a voice laughed, “You know the rules for a request so bold. To hear my truth, a joke must be told.” A face formed in the mirror - a pale face mostly covered by a mass of silver hair. The eyes were hidden, but the mad smile was in plain view. A twisted scar crossed threw the visible flesh before disappearing beneath the hair.

“Stupid mirror,” she growled, “Answer my question before I break you. Am I still the fairest?”

“Temper. Temper, my hothead queen,” replied the mirror, “I have much to reveal. There’s much to be seen. A simple joke - a humble laugh will do, and I will show everything to you.”

Grell shook her head, but thankfully she had heard a joke just the other day. Because of the mirror, she had started collecting jokes so that each day she could hear what the mirror had to say. “In Florence, a young woman who was somewhat a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby,” Grell began, “She had been enduring pain for some time and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her. ‘The baby should be coming,’ said the midwife. ‘Look also on the other side,’ the woman said, ‘My husband sometimes takes that road.’”

The mirror didn’t speak for a few moments. He only shook his head and gave the tiniest of gigglies. “That wasn’t much,” he said, “There was no zing, so I will show you some but not everything.”

“Just show me!” Grell insisted.

The face melted from in view and in its place Grell saw a tall man with pale skin and raven black hair. He moved elegantly, almost catlike as he performed generic servant duties with his own special flair.

“He certainly is a handsome man,” Grell cooed, “Perhaps I should introduce myself.”

“This man, Sebastian is his name, already knows of you and of your fame,” stated the mirror.

“Oh?”

The image faded as the face returned to the forefront to nod. “Sebastian has seen you; has examined your face,” said the mirror, “He called you a freak and a perverted disgrace.”

Grell gritted her rather sharp teeth together. She threw the curtain back over the mirror and rushed out of the room. She raced as fast as she could down to the dungeons - thinking that she was getting quite the workout this morning. At least it was good for her gorgeous legs.

“Othello!” she shouted as she ran into a small room off of the dungeon.

A small man with bushy dark hair looked up as she ran into the room. He smiled around a piece of black licorice, but he didn’t bother standing up. “Well, if it isn’t dear Grell,” he said, “It’s not often you come to visit me.”

“You’re supposed to refer to me Your Majesty,” Grell said, “but that isn’t important now. Do you have my apples ready?”

“Absolutely,” he said, “Although I’m really a scientist and not some sort of evil cook you know.” He jumped to his feet and crossed the room where he picked up a serving tray. There were two apples on the tray - one green and one red. Both looked very ripe and delicious. “The green apple is a special poison apple of my design,” he explained, “Once some takes a bite of it, they will fall into a deep sleep that can only be awakened by a true love’s kiss.”

“Why is it always a kiss?” Grell asked.

“Medieval sorcerer's code, 10577,” Othello answered, “It was one of the few concessions we had to made. Anyway, the green one is poison and the red one is that special love at first sight apple you wanted me to make for Willy poo.”

Grell picked up the apple. “Aw, my dear William,” she said, “One bite of this, and I will melt that cold heart of yours so you will be all mine.” With a laugh, she gathered both apples in her hands. Using her own magic, she transformed her image from that of a glorious queen, to that of a lowly and somewhat plain looking servant. Apples in hand, she set out on her new mission.

As she left, Othello resumed eating his licorice. “Wait,” he mumbled to himself, “Maybe the green one is the love potion and the red one is poison. I don’t know. Grell will figure it out.” He leaned back in his chair as he crossed his arms behind his head.

No one noticed the rather mousy servant with the now long, brown hair exit the castle and run through the kingdom. While Grell hated being seen in such drab attire with boring hair and no makeup, it was the easiest way for her to travel without her guards. Without pausing, she hurried into the surrounding woods.

William, her beloved, was a woodsman, so he was always in the woods this time of day. Following the sound of the axe, she found him rather quickly where he was working with his apprentice, a young blonde man by the name of Ronald.

“Hello, William!” Grell called as she approached. To her great fortune he appeared to be alone. She wouldn’t want Ronald or anyone else accidentally eating the apple. “A fine day to be cutting wood, is it not?”

William paused; his axe casually perched across his right shoulder. “So far, we on schedule, so that’s good,” he answered, as he narrowed his eyes. “You know me by name, but I don’t believe we’ve met.” He was a tall, handsome man. While he wasn’t as flashy as Sebastian, he was still quite easy on the eyes with dark hair, intelligent green eyes, and well made features.

“Oh, you’re just well known is all,” Grell said - half cursing her disguise, “Here, have an apple. I’m sure you’re hungry from all that hard work. Reaching into a basket she had been carrying, she produced the red apple. “I just picked it, so it’s fresh. It would be a delicious snack for you.”

William took the apple hesitantly. “Thank you, I suppose,” he said.

“Just don’t eat it until I get back,” Grell said, as she turned away, “I want you to be looking in my eyes.” Laughing, Grell hurried away.

“Honestly,” William said, as adjusted his glasses. It was a strange encounter, but at least the apple did look appetizing. After wiping it on his shirt, he took a large bite.

From the vision she had seen in the mirror, she knew that Sebastian was currently working at the Phantomhive estate, which was just outside of her kingdom. She hurried to the location, and was happy to see that Sebastian was standing outside, serving some young brat on the lawn. She could have sworn there were actually two brats that lived her, but she never really cared for much details. Sebastian was her target, so she marched straight up to him.

“Working hard, I see,” Grell greeted.

“It is my duty to work as hard as is needed by my master,” Sebastian answered. In person, he was even more charming that just his image, but she would not be deterred. After all, he had supposedly called her a freak.

“From one servant to another, here,” Grell said, as she handed him the green apple, “Please, take a bite.”

“No thank you,” Sebastian said, and he started to drop the apple to the ground.

“Wait!” Grell cried, as she caught the apple, “I insist. You don’t want to be rude now, do you?”

“Sebastian!” the boy yelled, “Just take a bite of the apple and get rid of that freak! We have a lot to do today.”

“Yes, my Lord,” Sebastian said. As instructed, he took the apple and took a large bite of it. He chewed and swallowed the piece, as Grell watched - her disguise fading slowly until she was back to her usual, wonderful self.

“How do you feel?” Grell asked.

“A bit surprised to see you, Queen Grell,” Sebastian said, as he took her arm, “I’m afraid I’ll have to escort you off the property. Master’s orders. Although, for once I find myself hating to have to follow those orders.”

“You do?” asked Grell. Her voice raised in surprise as she was removed from the property. She had expected him to feel weak or at least ill. Othello had assured her the apples worked rather quickly.

“Yes,” Sebastian said, “because I find you rather fetching at the moment.”

Realization struck Grell with the force of a bolt of errant lightning. The apples had been switched! She would have to get her hands on Othello later but she had more important things to worry about at the moment. “William!” she cried as she jerked from Sebastian’s grasp and ran with the speed of a frightened lover back to the woods.

The first thing she saw when she returned was Ronald. He had apparently just been in another part of the woods when she had been here before. The young man was now leaning down over the prone body of William who was lying in a rather awkward position. “William!” she cried again, as she ran to the spot and knelt by his side.

“Oh, Queen Grell!” Ronald exclaimed, as he stood and rubbed the back of his head rather awkwardly. He noticed her attention was on William. “Yeah, the old man just sort of collapsed or something. I found him like this, with this apple by his body.” He held up the apple with a very conspicuous bite missing.

“Get rid of that!” Grell hissed, and she swatted the apple from his hand. Looking back at William, she shook her head. “I told you to wait,” she said, “but no matter. I’ll save you.”

Standing, she straightened her dress. “Make my darling comfortable,” she said, “and I’ll be right back to save him.” With that order, she dashed behind a clump of trees while Ronald was left only to stare down at William.

All it took was a kiss, but soon her darling would be looking straight into her eyes, so she had to look her absolute best. She took out a compact to make sure her makeup was still intact. Her reflection was so attractive, she couldn’t resist but wink at it before she pulled out her lipstick to reapply it. A little extra touch never hurt. Just as she finished, she heard Ronald cry out - yelling for someone or something to stop.

She reemerged, but she found Ronald now standing alone as William’s body was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s my darling?” she asked.

“He was taken by some...big, black cloud thing,” Ronald said, “I don’t know what it was, but it just swooped down and took him.”

“Where did it take him?” Grell cried.

Ronald pointed to a road that led away from the kingdom and towards the forbidden castle of dolls. “That way,” he explained, “I didn’t even have a chance to stop it.”

“Like you could have,” Grell snapped. Looking around, she grabbed an axe before running at full speed towards the forbidden castle.

“You don’t have to get all pissy with me,” Ronald mumbled, as he sat down in the shade to wait.

The road towards the castle was rough as it was rarely taken, and Grell nearly tripped several times over rocks, thorns, and tree roots which had overtaken the path. This was no road to attempt wearing heels, even though they made Grell’s backside look delectable. With great care and great speed, she hurried towards the castle, which loomed before her like a dark mountain.

“What are you doing here, my queen?” a familiar voice asked.

Grell turned and saw Sebastian sitting on a nearby rock. “I could ask you the same thing,” she said.

Sebastian stood and walked towards here. “I’m just here to make sure you don’t anything foolish,” he said, “You seem to be heading towards the Castle of Dolls. That would be a mistake. You know there’s countless possessed dolls in there all posed to attack, and they will turn you into a doll yourself if they manage to catch you.”

“They aren’t going to stop me,” Grell said, “I have to go in there and rescue William. He’s in there!”

“I know,” Sebastian replied, “I put him there.”

“You?” Grell asked, “But why?”

He moved closer to Grell; the soft wind toying with his hair like a lover’s caressing fingers. “I didn’t want the competition,” he said, “I wanted you for myself all alone.” He wrapped Grell in his arms. “Leave him and love only me,” he purred.

This was certainly unexpected, but now that Grell was in this situation she realized even more that William was the one she wanted. Sebastian was certainly handsome, and it did her ego good to hear him profess his love to her, but he would nothing more than a fling. She wanted passion, romance, and love.

“It would never work out,” she said, as she pushed away, “I must save my William. If you try and stop, I will fight you.”

“I would never dream of trying to stop you,” he said, with an odd smile, “Do what you feel you must.”

Grell was surprised by his lack of willingness to fight, but she was happy there would be no more interruptions from Sebastian. With a quick nod, she hurried on down the path until she came to the castle.

From the outside, it only looked like a run-down, slightly crumbling castle. It wasn’t even all that impressive as her own castle was much larger and more elaborate, but there was a feeling in the air that seemed to take your breath as you approached. Grell recognized this as very old, very dark magic, but she had to press on. Bravely, she opened the doors.

There were dolls everywhere. Broken marionettes hung from the ceiling. Smaller, children’s dolls littered the floor, while large, human sized dolls were lying on chairs or propped against the walls. Grell stepped into the room, and the door slammed shut behind her, as the dolls all opened their eyes slowly and turned towards her. A soft growl from an unknown source slipped around the room and she could hear the creaking of their joints as they began to move as one.

“For William!” she cried, with the axe high above her head. Leaping into the air, she sliced through the mannequins’ strings and they made a cry like a rusty scream, before she raced through the room. She moved like a caged animal as she chopped and cut at everything in sight. Not a single doll lay a digit on her as soon they all lay in mangled heaps of chopped limbs and heads.

She hurried up the steps and she searched for William. There were dolls in every room, but none stood a chance against her. Soon they ever tried to retreat, as she saw them scurrying to hide under beds and in dressers, but she was determined not to let one live. After searching many rooms, she finally found William lying on the bed of rather large, impressive bedroom. Breathing a sigh of relief, she stepped into the room to deliver her loving kiss.

A final doll jumped in her path. Some distant part of her mind realized that this doll looked much like the brat Sebastian served, but she didn’t care about such details. He moved with a precision and intelligence unlike the other dolls.

But he was still an obstacle.

There was shock and horror on his painted face when she attacked with her axe. He dissolved into sawdust within minutes as if he had never had a solid form, leaving Grell the easy victor. With a smile on her face, she jumped over the pile of dust to kneel by William’s side.

“My darling,” she said, as she pushed back a strand of hair from his forehead, “I’m here.”

“You did a good job,” Sebastian suddenly said. Somehow, he had suddenly appeared in the room, and was now sifting through the sawdust left by the last doll.

“I’m not leaving William for you,” Grell said.

Sebastian laughed. “Do you really think your little love potion ever worked on me?” he asked, “I only needed this.” He pulled a brilliant blue ring from the dust. “I was forbidden from directly destroying this doll, so I needed someone to do that for me. You did wonderfully.” He smiled darkly as he bowed. “I truly hope we never cross paths again,” he said before leaving the room.

“Jerk,” Grell muttered, but there were more important things to focus on now. With a gentle smile, she leaned forward and kissed William deeply.

He opened his eyes almost immediately. “What are you doing?” he demanded, as he pushed her back. Sitting up in bed, he looked out a nearby window. “Is it that late?” he asked, noticing the sun, “Where has the day gone. I’ll have to work overtime tonight or I will fall behind.” Mumbling to himself, he quickly stood and left the room.

Grell smiled. Her ice cold darling was back, and her love had brought him back. True, she was the reason he had fallen into the sleep to begin with, but he didn’t need to know about that particular detail.

It was after dark before Grell returned to her castle. Taking a candle, she hurried up to her tower to see the mirror one more time that day. When she removed the curtain, the silly face appeared to be sleeping and snoring - a line of drool escaping his mouth.

“Wake up!” she hissed, and the face slowly shook itself awake.

“Aw, my queen,” he began, “I watched your travel. A mistake in the apples almost made your plans unravel. But you did well, facing all those dolls. Shame old Willy still won’t be returning your calls. Fu. Fu. Fu.”

“Never mind that,” Grell hissed, “but I have a question. Why did you tell me about Sebastian? I want to the fairest in my kingdom - my land. Sebastian lives outside my borders.”

The face smiled. “I’ll tell you this time without asking for pay, because watching you through my glass has truly made my day. I showed you Sebastian. That much is true, but never did I once say he was fairer than you.”

Grell was shocked. “You...you tricked me?” she asked, “Then, am I still the fairest in the land.”

“Well, there is someone fairer, and that much is plain to see,” he answered, as he shook back his hair revealing his handsome face. “The fairest in the land is actually me!”

Grell frowned as she pulled a hammer from the inner liner of her sleeve. With one simple swing, she took care of the problem at hand.

“Who needs a magic mirror anyway,” she said, as she dropped the hammer to the floor and left the room.

#fanfiction #grell sutcliff #william t. spears #undertaker #sebastian michaelis #crack fic #au

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littlemisssquiggles · 6 years

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RWBY Remarks: ‘Little Cute Boy Ozpin’ AU. What would the story have been like if Ozpin was reincarnated as a 14-year-old boy but was still his own character?

greenfablesinverness replied to your post “AU Where Oscar only went to Mistral cause his uncle Ozpin had written...”

That “Ozpin was originally a de-aged Oscar” actually makes a lot of sense looking back at the beginning of the series. I think this was the original idea, but after Monty died Miles and Kerry felt too uncomfortable since BAM, this is Ruby’s love interest, and it might come off as creepy, so Oscar became a totally knew character entirely.

Squiggles Answers:

Hmm, makes sense. However even if that were true and the original story was for Ozpin to be reincarnated as a teenager after death without Oscar as part of his story, I don’t think the original intention by the CRWBY Writers and the show creator would’ve been to make Ozpin Ruby’s potential love interest. If anything, it makes more sense if the intention was to have Ozpin still be his own character after rebirth and have Ruby gain her love interest as a new character with or without it tying into Ozpin’s story.

As a matter of fact, y’know what? They could have easily done both. Did you know that the CRWBY Writers could have still given us the same Ozpin-reincarnation storyline being intertwined with Oscar’s without having to make them share a body? Let me explain how.

Oz the Kid

Just have Ozpin reincarnate as a young 13-14 year old boy with amnesia to be found in Mistral on the outskirts of the Pine Family farm where he’s discovered by a young Oscar Pine.

Instead of Oscar being inspired by Dorothy Hale from the Wizard of Oz, imagine if… our veteran farm boy was based off of the woodsman who saved Red Riding Hood from the Big Bad Wolf. That could’ve been a nice way to tie Oscar to Ruby’s character which could’ve additionally been used to foreshadow their potential relationship.

Instead of Oscar being Ozpin’s newest form and successor, he could’ve been the old wizard’s young protector. Just as how the woodsman saved Little Red Riding Hood, Oscar could’ve saved a reincarnated young Ozpin and that’s how the two could’ve met. Humour me to rewrite Oscar and Ozpin’s story a wee bit.

Imagine an AU where instead Ozpin’s curse was that he returns as a teenaged boy with no memory of his past self and it was the purpose of the members of his Inner Circle to find and train him back to his former self. This would explain why Qrow had Ozpin’s cane. He was the scout. The proverbial eyes in the sky whose primary responsibility was to search and find the missing Ozpin in the event of reincarnation.

Speaking of Qrow Branwen, what I found odd about V5 is that in the scene where Oscar meets RNJR for the first time after helping a happily drunk Qrow back to their residence in Mistral, Qrow kept muttering that he found Ozpin. As if he had been searching for him since his death. While this provided us with a comical scene and cute introduction into the group finally meeting Oscar, in the context of continuity from V4, it doesn’t really add up.

Back in V4, Qrow was never actually shown searching for Ozpin. He’d been following RNJR since the end of V3. If Qrow had been looking for Oz the entire time during his side of the story for V4 but then later deviates from his duty to Oz after learning that RNJR was being hunted by Tyrian Callows; then that would have made more sense. Not to mention that it would have tied into the joke in V5 a lot cleaner, right?

I know it’s meant to be one of those gags where a character claims to have fulfilled a task that the audience knew they never accomplished. Y’know like that ‘My job here is done’ meme with Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask.

Nonetheless, that was one nit-pick for me with the writing for V5 because it’s a joke played for laughs that can just as easily double as a small plot hole. But then again, this is just me.

Back to my AU: in this version of the story, let’s say Oscar is 16-years-old instead of the titular 14. Still young but this time he’s the exact same age as Ruby instead of the two being two years ago---thus killing any potential arguments surrounding the two year age difference.

Oscar’s original background story could still be kept. I do like the concept of Oscar Pine being a 16-year-old farm bred boy who lived in the nowhere of Anima on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Mistral alone with his aunt on their family farm. In my version of the story, Oscar actually has ties to huntsman that he’s fully aware of. His parents were huntsman who once fought bravely for their kingdom but died in the line of duty years prior to the story. This left a young Oscar in the care of his widowed aunt who raised him for another half of his life and who he came to love like a second mother.

In this AU, Oscar was originally meant to go off to Haven Academy. He had even already excelled at combat school and had passed the entrance exam qualifying him as a student. His aunt was very proud of him when she heard the news as much as he was. Oscar had always wanted to be a huntsman following in his parents’ footsteps to become a hero. However a week before Oscar was meant to depart for Mistral, his aunt suddenly fell very ill.

Though the neighbourhood doctors did their best to help, in the end, Oscar’s aunt was diagnosed with an illness that rendered her bedridden and too weak to take care of herself. Since she had no one else to look after her, Oscar decided to abandon Haven.

Though it would mean giving up on his dream, it was a sacrifice the young lad was willing to make for the woman who loved him like he was her own son. Oscar felt morally obligated to look after his aunt even if it meant living the rest of his life taking care of her if he needed too.

Though his aunt was content on having him care for her over a random stranger, that didn’t stop her from feeling remorseful over forcing her own nephew to abandon his own life for hers and the guilt hindered her more than her disease did.

But no matter how many times his aunt used to incline that Oscar move on with his life and not worry about her, the boy would stubbornly ignore her wishes and chose to stay by her side. She needed him and in that moment, Oscar needed to care for her.

Even if it meant spending the rest of his life as a farmhand in Mistral, it was a choice Oscar would willing make for his family because at the end of the day, she was all he had and that was all that mattered to him.

But Oscar’s quite life took another sharp change when, one day, while tending to the farm like he usually did on mornings, he heard a sudden strange noise come from the woods outside the farm. Thinking it might be another one of those occasional small Grimm that liked to wander onto his family property from time to time, Oscar quickly grabbed the axe he had planned on using to chop some wood for his aunt and ran straight towards the outskirts in the direction of the noise.

To Oscar’s surprise, his discovery was not what he was expecting. Wondering the woods alone outside the farm was a young boy. His hair was as silver as starlight and to make the situation more awkward, the boy was also found naked as he was born. The lad couldn’t have been older than fourteen years old though he was rather small and lanky for his age. The minute Oscar called out to the kid; he suddenly keeled over and fainted into Oscar’s arms.

This boy is in fact the reborn Professor Ozpin back as a young boy. However if the story was to be played out like an episode then it would have ended on a cliff-hanger with the audience not knowing the true identity of this young boy who happened to cross Oscar’s path.

The next time the story picks back up, Oscar is forced to care for this young stranger who doesn’t have any recollection of who he is and where he came from.

When Oscar probed the young child with the obvious questions---Where did he come from? How did he end up near his farm? What’s his name?

The only thing Ozpin could tell Oscar, at least the part that made sense to the young farm boy, is that he is Ozpin. Anything else and he would get this pained look on his face as if trying to remember something important. After staying a couple of days on the Pine Family’s farm, young Ozpin eventually regains some of his memories and is able to tell Oscar that he needs to go to Mistral; saying that he has a ‘friend’ over there who could help him.

But his memories come in spasms. One minute he’s an inkling of his old self, remembering important details that he’s able to relate to Oscar. Of course none of it makes sense to Oscar but at least Ozpin is able to tell him. However when Oscar would ask Ozpin to make sense of everything he told him, he would then revert back to the other side. The side of him that was basically a helpless young boy, lost and confused.

Oscar tries to convince Ozpin to stay with him and his aunt on the farm until they could figure out a way to help him get back to where he came from. However, when he’s lucid, Ozpin kept insisting that he needed to leave for to Mistral immediately.

In my AU, Ozpin’s reincarnation suffered some complications.

Let’s say…each time Ozpin reincarnates, in order for the process to work successfully; meaning for him to come back younger but with all of his memories intact, it requires a lot of magic.

Let’s say, Ozpin depleted a lot of his magic during his last stand against Fall Maiden Cinder. As a result, this fight left him with less magic than he needed to reincarnate successfully. So his rebirth was botched.

Despite successfully returning in his adolescent form, his mind and memories became as shattered as a jigsaw puzzle.

Imagine…the Professor Ozpin we all know only with the short term memory akin to Dory from Finding Nemo. Rather than being whole, this new Ozpin is almost like two minds in one. One mind is Ozpin himself---he knows who he is and is quite coherent enough to recount his countless eons of memories.

But on the other mind, he is just a helpless little boy, frightened, confused 200% of the time and needing someone to care for him while also recounting whatever actions his ‘other self’ does---the total opposite of the man we all know Ozpin to be.

And to make matters worse, it doesn’t help that this new younger Ozpin often slips in and out of both personalities. One minute he could be recounting important info that could be helpful to the given scenario and the next minute, he’s like a naive toddler unable to remember anything.

Ozpin has always been portrayed as the man with all the answers. So can you imagine how daunting it would be especially for all the characters who believe in his wisdom like Qrow if the man with all the answers returned as a crippled version of himself unable to help anyone because his mind is too fragmented from his failed rebirth process?

I like this idea because it gives a new perspective of Ozpin while also presenting a new purpose to Oscar Pine.

Y’see in this version of the story, instead of Oscar being Ozpin’s successor and the two being forced to share a body; Oscar would unintentionally be drafted in as a member of Ozpin’s Inner Circle tasked with protecting him during times of reincarnation. Oscar essentially becomes Ozpin’s guardian---his protector as the two journey toward Mistral to rendezvous with one of Ozpin’s allies.

And this time, when Oscar leaves home to go with Ozpin to Mistral where he would also start being trained to become a huntsmen, it’s his choice and something he wanted to do from the start before he met Ozpin.

If the CRWBY Writers wanted a way to reincarnate Ozpin, have him come back young while still making Oscar his own person, they could have done it like that. But for now, I guess it’ll make for a pretty cool AU.

As to why Ozpin would reincarnate in Mistral near Oscar’s home of all places, lemme hit you with a solid explanation using some canon evidence. Remember the World of Remnant episode on the Four Maidens? Remember the old wizard who lived like a hermit in the middle of the nowhere?

Though it was never confirmed if the hermit lived in Mistral per say, for the sake of this AU of mine, let’s say whenever Ozpin died he had a tendency to respawn near common areas his past lives once resided in. So let’s say Oscar’s family farm was built over the same property that was once the land of Ozpin’s predecessor---the old hermit wizard and creator of the Four Maidens.

That’s sounds like a cool way to tie Oscar to one of Ozpin’s previous lives and it can even work in the canon AU. But for now, let’s leave it like a cool idea.

The Wizard and the Farm Boy

Imagine…in this AU of mine, Ozpin living with Oscar and Auntie Pine for a short time---probably a couple of weeks giving him enough time to regain some of his more important memories while growing close to the Mistralian farm folk a lot better.

Imagine if…during this time, Ozpin shared a small private talk with Auntie Pine. Going to sound heart-wrenching but the concept I had is that in this AU, Ozpin met Oscar around the time his sick aunt was on her last days.

In her final moment, while Oscar was outside tending to the farm as always, Auntie Pine called Ozpin to her bedside and asked him for a small favour to an elderly woman. At that time he was himself and not his other ‘child-like’ persona who had been christened ‘Ozzy’ by Oscar; just so that he could tell the two minds apart. Auntie Pine beckoned Ozpin to help her write a letter. A letter that she wanted him to give to Oscar.

While Ozpin is helping Auntie Pine, at some point, she turns weakly to the old wizard and lets the truth slip to him about her little condition. I imagined their conversation would go something like this:

Auntie Pine: …I’m sure you’ve noticed but I’m not a well woman. In fact, I’m dying. Have been for some time now and that’s the cold, hard truth, plain as day. And…I don’t think I have much time left.

Ozpin: …I’m…sorry. I---Does Oscar…

Auntie Pine: ---No. I’ve been…trying to think of a more…delicate way to break the news to him for months. It’s hard…not to mention exhausting trying to tell the truth to someone who only wants to hear the good version of the truth all the time. He…used to listen to me y’know. But ever since I got sick, I feel like he listens more to my illness than me. Sounds crazy, right? He’s always been the stubborn type. Just like his father. But he’s got a big heart. He’s…a good boy and he’s…going to make an amazing huntsman one day. Probably one of the best this world has ever seen. But he can’t do that so long as I’m here…holding him back. And I’m ready to go. Heavens, I’ve been preparing to go for a very long time. But I’m worried…no…I’m afraid that if I go now, it might…break him. And I don’t want him to break. I saved him from that the first time after his parents died so…the last thing I want is to be the one responsible for him falling apart…

Ozpin: …Ms Pine…

Auntie Pine: ---Call me Emma, please. You don’t have to be so formal.

Ozpin: …Emma, you should…talk to Oscar.

Auntie Pine: …I told you. He won’t listen to me. But he will listen… to you. I know he’ll listen to you. I’ve heard your talks when Oscar thinks I’m just sleeping. *chuckles* For some strange reason, even with all your crazy talk about magic…and maidens…and people coming back to life and going to the city…he listens to you. Ozpin, I know we haven’t known each other for that long…and I know I have no business asking any personal favours of you. But…you seem like a real level headed young man or…old man, whichever one you prefer. Can you aid an old woman with her final request? Promise me that no matter what happens, you won’t let my Oscar fall apart. It’s a lot to ask of a stranger but I like to believe you ended up here with us for a reason…a good reason. One that could change Oscar’s life for the better and give him more than I ever could. So please…I…beg you…please…promise me…

Ozpin: …I…have made more mistakes than any man, woman and child on this planet. I’ve made many promises that I have failed countless of times to uphold. However, in all my lifetimes, this is one promise I swear I’ll do my hardest to keep.

Auntie Pine: *smiling weakly* …You’re a good person Ozpin. I don’t know…what kind of skeletons you have in your closet. But I’ve always prided myself on being a good judge of character. Only a good person would make a promise to a dying woman and shed tears real enough to prove that he’s at least going to try to keep that promise so…thank you…

At this point, Auntie Pine extends a frail finger to touch Ozpin’s cheek as a single tear trailed down his cheek. Ozpin is stunned; not just by the old woman’s gesture but by his own reaction to his emotions. So instead, all he could muster is a silent nod all the while Auntie Pine is beaming at him through a pale face of smiles. Auntie Pine: Tell me…Ozpin…you’ve died before right? Does it…does it get any better…in the afterlife?

Ozpin: …I…I wouldn’t know…but for your sake, I truly hope it does.

Once again, Auntie Pine flashes Ozpin a fragile but contented smile and the old wizard felt his shoulders quake as he finally gave into his own tears.

Auntie Pine: …I think…I think I’m ready to see Oscar now…Can you…can you call him…for me please?

So Auntie Pine passes away after giving her final goodbyes to her beloved nephew. The death, of course, did exactly what Auntie Pine warned Ozpin would happen. It broke Oscar; to the point that he fell into a state of depression. As Oscar once disclosed to Ozpin during his stay, he had no other family. A lot of his past neighbours were either elderly folk who passed away or families who uprooted and moved to the main city. Oscar and his aunt were the only two left from the old neighbourhood. So when it came time for Oscar to bury his aunt, it was to an audience of only Ozpin.

Everyone else was gone. He had no one and for the first time since his parents’ departure, Oscar felt more alone than he ever did in his entire life and the feeling of loneliness devastated him more than the grief.

At this point, Ozpin had stayed in the Pine residence for a little over two months and he was beginning to turn anxious. He had hoped Qrow would’ve found him by then. However since he didn’t, the old wizard figured something grim must’ve befallen the Branwen man (let’s say this was around the time Qrow had discovered Tyrian Callows was hunting RNJR and had diverted from his search for Oz in order to protect his family and her friends; leading to Qrow getting poisoned and…y’know the rest). This increased Ozpin’s urgency to get to the main kingdom.

Since Qrow hadn’t found him as originally planned, Ozpin had no choice but to journey to Mistral on his own. At least by then, he could rendezvous with the sole Mistral representative in his Inner Circle: Leonardo Lionheart and the two could’ve figured out a way to get in contact with Qrow.

Unfortunately, Ozpin had a problem. Two problems in fact. One, he needed someone to be his guide. Because of his botched rebirth, his memories of how to traverse Mistral were not the best. Not to mention that he wasn’t quite familiar with Oscar’s side of Anima. In this AU, let’s say getting to the train station shown in V4 was a much more perilous trip than what we got for the main series canon.

His only hope was gaining Oscar’s aid in journeying to the nearest train station that would then take them to the Kingdom. This led him to his second problem. Ozpin…did not want to leave Oscar by himself. He couldn’t. Not after the young boy and his family had taken him in the way they did and especially not after what he promised Auntie Pine.

It was then Ozpin made a decision. He was going to take Oscar to Mistral with him. Kill two birds with one stone. That way, Oscar could help him get to the city and Ozpin can keep a watchful eye over the young farm boy. Sounds simple, right?

The only problem was…Oscar refused to go. He just…wanted to remain on the land where his family was buried. Maybe become a hermit left alone to his grievances. It was then when Ozpin saw a connection between himself and Oscar

He was once this same way.

Remember when I said in this AU, Ozpin respawned near the Pine Family Farm because coincidentally the property was the same soil he once lived on alone as a hermit before he met the Maidens?

I like story ideas that in hindsight add up perfectly together. So perhaps this is a nice way to highlight a connection between Oscar and Ozpin for this AU.

I like this idea because I can imagine Ozpin hitting Oscar with the trademark RWBY questions: ‘What’s your favourite fairy tale?’ before telling him the famous The Four Maidens fairy-tale we know of. The twist is that Ozpin would reveal to Oscar that, of course, the fairy tale is true; explaining that the old wizard from the story was him in a past life. Ozpin would admit to Oscar that once upon a time, he too shared his same sentiments of wanting to live alone and isolated from the outside world; believing that a life of solitude was the only purpose left for existence after losing everything he loved.

But it was the kindness of four strangers that ultimately reminded Ozpin of how much more beauty and wonder existed beyond his walls. How his life wasn’t over yet. That he still had a second chance to start anew. Ozpin told Oscar this story in hopes that it would stir him to his senses. Convince him to be his companion on his quest.

It did not unfortunately. Despite his pleas, Oscar still stubbornly refused. This left Ozpin with no choice.

Not wanting to force Oscar to come with him especially in his time of grief, Ozpin solemnly decides to leave him behind and venture on his own. Before leaving, Ozpin gives Oscar the letter Auntie Pine had made him record her final words to Oscar. Of course, Oscar is still acting stubborn and doesn’t even want to read the letter. At this point, Ozpin is out of options and out of time. So he leaves Oscar and begins his own journey.

But as I mentioned earlier, in this AU, Ozpin isn’t familiar with traversing Oscar’s neck of Anima. So even though he left the Pine farm days ago, he eventually got himself lost and ended up wandering aimlessly through the woods for some time. This also led to Ozpin running into the local Grimm inhabiting the area which was a pack of hungry Beowolves. Though Ozpin did his best to combat the ferocious creatures, the old wizard’s luck unfortunately ran out when he reverted to Ozzy in the heat of danger, rendering himself incapable of defend himself further.

To make a long story short, Ozzy is soon rescued by Oscar, much to the child’s surprise. The young farm boy came to Ozzy’s aid wielding a weaponized battle axe which doubled as a Brunswick rifle. I like that as Oscar’s signature weapon in this AU since I talked about it before. Fusing the weapon with fire dust, Oscar torched any oncoming Beowolves attempting to harm Ozzy while sending the others fleeing in a blazing trail of panic.

To make it funny, Ozzy questions Oscar on how he knew where to find him after leaving days ago only for Oscar to respond that since he grew up in the area for most of his life, he knew the woods like the back of his hand so finding Ozpin wasn’t a problem especially since the old wizard had gotten himself lost and had actually been walking in circles for the past few days, much to Ozzy’s embarrassment.

Ozzy then questions Oscar of what made him change his mind about finding him. That’s when Oscar shows Ozpin the letter his aunt had left for him. The teenager apologizes to the old wizard for his behaviour before announcing that he had made up his mind to help him get to Mistral. His Pine pride wouldn’t allow him to allow such a, quote, ‘helpless child’ to wander the dangerous woods all alone even if said child is also a reincarnated 1000+ year old wizard. After all, it was the right thing to do and it’s what Oscar’s Aunt would have wanted him to do.

Despite the initial slip up, Ozpin was more than relieved to have Oscar accompany him. So with that, the two set off towards Mistral together.

In this AU, part of the story is dedicated to Oscar and Ozpin going through their own journey towards Mistral just like Team RNJR. It isn’t just Ozpin spending time trying to convince Oscar to leave for Mistral before boarding the easy train.

One critique of V4 I’ve seen is the disappointment fans shared about Team RNJR having to make the long journey towards Mistral while all Oscar and Ozpin had to do was hop a train. Never mind that Oscar coincidentally lived within close proximity to a working train station that could instantaneously take him directly to the kingdom citadel.

And never mind that he also coincidentally got through with it despite having no money and needing Hazel Rainart to coincidentally show up at the same train station to help Oscar score a ticket. Yep, all one big coincidinks.

So since this is an AU I’m concocting here, I really like the idea of Ozpin and Oscar going through their own trials and perils on their separate journey to Mistral. They could still hop on a working train and still run into Hazel Rainart along the way for the final part of their Journey to Mistral. I mean RNJR took an airship at the end of their side of the journey which is the next best thing.

But like RNJR, it would’ve been cool to get some travels with Ozpin and Oscar: Fighting more Grimm, giving Oscar more opportunities to show off his capabilities as a huntsmen to protect Ozpin. In this AU, of course.

Not to mention that, since Ozpin wouldn’t have had his signature Oz-cane, I really dig the idea of Oz having to depend solely on utilizing what little magic he had to assist Oscar from time to time.

Referring to the main series now, we’ve never quite seen Ozpin actually perform magic in the canon, have we? We know he’s used his magic before but never actually seen him do it onscreen outside of RWBY Chibi

So imagine how cool it would have been to see a young Ozpin relearning to use his magical powers and this time, we actually get to see him cast spells or whatever the equivalent of performing magic in the RWBY-verse is like.

I can picture Ozpin or Ozzy casting magic to help him and Oscar get out of tricky situations. Like for example: using magic to conjure up a shield of protection in order to save an overpowered Oscar from a charging Boarbatusk. Y’know like the one he summoned during his clash with Cinder Fall in V3.

Or perhaps using magic to ‘heal’ a serious wound on an injured Oscar by reversing time (like how Rapunzel healed Eugene in Tangled but without the glowing hair and song). Or maybe, just maybe, Ozpin using a wizard mind spell to manipulate someone into handing over a free boarding pass so that he and Oscar could take the train to the city. Those are three ideas.

It’s odd though. Despite Ozpin being confirmed as a legit wizard (a cursed wizard but one nonetheless) and in spite the confirmed existence of magic in Remnant by Ozpin himself, we’ve never actually seen Ozpin perform any feats of magic. Never mind that he used magic to create the Four Maidens and grant the Branwen Twins shapeshifting powers in his past life. Never mind that he did say his magic is finite and dwindling (whether that’s true or not). Still…he’s a wizard! Yes his magic is low but it could be cool to see him do something magical, even if it’s as small as a simple spell.

I don’t expect Ozpin to part the ocean or turn water into wine (although Qrow might enjoy that trick) but…still…it would be cool to see him perform a little something, something magical. Cause y’know…he’s a wizard! My hope is that Oscar is somehow capable of using magic for the main series canon so that we can possibly see some Ozpin magic tricks for V6. Hopefully.

But for now, I’ll stick with my AU idea.

How would this AU handle the Oscar-Ozpin dynamic?

In this AU of mine, I like the idea of Ozpin and Oscar kinda joint adopting each other in a way. As Ozpin, he decides to take Oscar with him on his journey to Mistral, taking full heed of the promise he made to Auntie Pine that he would ensure the future that her nephew wanted---to become a huntsman; an objective that even Ozpin soon started to believe the boy was strongly capable of as he came to realize Oscar’s potential.

Oscar, in turn, comes to care for Ozpin’s well-being as well and even becomes like his own young protector or Guardian of some kind.

If Oscar was made to be Ozpin’s protector rather than his new vessel as an alternative, then I can definitely see the two sharing a big brother/little brother dynamic. I like the idea of Oscar and Ozpin both being big brothers/proxy dads to one another. One mind provides Oscar (and essentially all the young heroes) with the huntsman training and experience he’s always desired while at the same time, the two build a trusting mentor and apprentice relationship with each other that Ozpin only shares with the closest members of his Inner Circle (such as Glynda and Qrow).

And this dynamic is also transcended into the other side of their relationship where it’s the reverse and Oscar is Ozpin’s caretaker, using his training to protect him when he’s most vulnerable (as Ozzy) while establishing a bond where Oscar actually does look after Ozpin (as Ozzy) despite him being leagues older than him.

I kind of picture Ozpin and Oscar’s connection in this AU of mine like Kara and Alice from Detroit Become Human.

Originally, both Oscar and Ozpin knew nothing about each other. Only met on coincidence. Yet in some twisted fate, their lives became intertwined and to each other, they suddenly became someone whose well-being they now valued as much as their own and wholeheartedly wanted to help.

Like I’m imagining both Oz and Oscar both justifying their commitment to helping each other during private talks with Ruby and Qrow. Ozpin is of course talking to Qrow while Oscar is with Ruby.

Oscar to Ruby:

Oscar: …I don’t think your uncle likes me very much.

Ruby: Don’t be silly. He’s just a little grumpy sometimes…with just you…a lot.

Oscar: *laughs* Nice save. Good attempt. But…nah, my aunt trained me well enough to sniff out when someone really doesn’t want me around. And…I think your uncle thinks I shouldn’t be here. I don’t blame him though. He probably thinks I shouldn’t stick around anymore since Oz is back with you guys. Back with his people.

Ruby: You’re his people too. He told us you saved him.

Oscar: I just gave him a place to stay and some food. But…thanks… to both of you for the kind words. I mean, I promised Ozzy I would help him get to the city to meet his friends and I did. I guess…I really have no business sticking around here.

Ruby: Well…then why are you still here?

Oscar: …Uhh…I guess… one of the reasons is because of Haven Academy. Lionheart told me that he still has records of my old acceptance letter into the academy. Said…if I still wanted, I can actually become a student here. It’s a chance for me to finally live my dream of becoming a huntsman which is all I could ever ask for.

But if we’re being honest, the real reason I want to stay is because of Ozzy. Ozpin…needs me. Well…maybe not the version of him that’s a 1000 year old magical wizard guarded by a tall, rugged, mean-faced bird man wielding a giant scythe. Uh…no offense?

Ruby: *giggles* None taken.

Oscar: But…the part of him that’s just a little kid y’know. When he’s…just a boy---just Ozzy, he reminds me so much of myself before I went to live with my aunt. After my parents died, I was so scared of being alone but my aunt made me feel loved and safe. She stood by me because she knew I needed her. That’s why I want to stay for Ozzy. Ozpin may not need me but Ozzy does and so long as he wants me here, I’ll do everything in my power to protect him.

Ozpin to Qrow

Qrow: Oz, why’d you bring that kid with ya? Who even is this kid? Where’d you even find him?

Ozpin: That kid’s name is Oscar. He’s from Mistral but more outside the kingdom and…he saved my life when you failed to find me, I’m afraid.

Qrow: Well why is he still here? *takes a swig from his flask* Shouldn’t he have gone back to his little house on the prairie now that we’ve met up with Leo?

Ozpin: He’s here because I want him to be here. My reincarnation may have…suffered a few unsettling complications but I wasn’t totally off my rocker when I told you I wanted Oscar to join my Circle. He may be young but within my short time with him, he’s shown me that he has tremendous potential. So with some training and proper guidance, I believe Oscar is destined for greatness.

Besides I…sorta also promised his dead aunt I would look out for him after she died. Can’t break a promise like that now, can I?”

Qrow: *through mid-sip* You did what?

Ozpin: It’s…a long story.

Qrow: Great. So basically you picked up a stray.

Ozpin: A stray with potential. Besides, I took you in once didn’t I? And look how well you turned out.

Qrow quirks a brow at Ozpin while taking another long swig from his flask. At this, Ozpin shook his head and sighed.

Ozpin: …Well…I can’t take full credit for all your quirks.

Qrow: Yeah but at least I grew up already knowing how to fight? What does Farmer Brown know how to do besides swing an axe? Anyone can swing an axe. Heck I can do that blindfolded with both my hands tied behind my back on my worst day. Besides… he’s so…young. He’s younger than I was when I joined the Circle. Ozpin: *amused tone* Why Qrow Branwen, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were a little jealous of Oscar.

Qrow: *almost chokes on his flask* Me? Jealous of that pipsqueak? Oz, I just recovered from my last hangover, please don’t make me vomit. I just don’t like the way he thinks he’s all high and mighty just because he’s the glorified babysitter to your other half.

Ozpin: Oscar isn’t like at all. If anything he’s been the most mature for his age…definitely more mature than certain people I’m looking at right now.

Qrow: *condescending tone* He calls you Ozzy. What is that?

Ozpin: *calmly* It’s just a nickname. A nickname both Ozzy and Ozpin don’t mind.

Qrow: *grumbles* I also don’t like the way he keeps chumming up to Ruby lately.

Ozpin: Really Qrow? He’s 16. She’s 16. They’re allowed to be friends.

Qrow: She’s my niece! Don’t encourage your babysitter to be any kind of ‘friends’ with my niece, capish?

Ozpin: *exasperated* …Fine. Are there any other complaints you have regarding my ‘babysitter’?

Qrow: Just one. I don’t think this kid’s got the real chops to be a huntsman, let alone someone who’s meant to be a part of your Circle.

Ozpin: Is that right? Well then since we’re both being honest here, I think I have the perfect solution for that. You’re an experienced huntsman Qrow. Previously a teacher at Signal Academy who trained your own niece to be a powerful scythe wielder like yourself. Not to mention you’re one of the few people in this world I would trust with my life.

Qrow: *burps* What’s your point?

Ozpin: You don’t think Oscar’s got what it takes. Then help him. Train him and bring out the best in him; as I did once for you.

In the main series, Qrow is currently Ozpin’s right hand for the Mistral Arc going towards Atlas (since Glynda, his original right hand from the Beacon Trilogy is stuck holding down the fort in Vale with Professor Port and Dr. Oobleck). But what would be cute is if Oscar also unintentionally became Ozpin’s right hand but…more so to young Ozzy, Ozpin’s ‘child-like’ other half in my AU.

I like the idea of both Qrow and Oscar being Ozpin’s right hand men and the two butting heads at first. While Oscar is perfectly okay with the times Ozpin needs to be alone with Qrow since the older huntsman is one of Ozpin’s most trusted.

For this AU, Qrow secretly harbours a bit of jealousy toward Oscar who was only picked as Ozpin’s newest guardian because of the complications of his reincarnation. Whenever Ozpin reverts back to Ozzy, he’s completely intimidated by Qrow and won’t let the Branwen man talk or even be alone with him unless Oscar is present.

In this version of the story, Ozzy is very attached to Oscar. Like a nervous child clinging to their parent.

It’s a different dynamic from the show canon but that’s why I like it as an AU. Plus I really dig the notion of Qrow being tasked to personally train Oscar by Ozpin as he is the newest member of his Circle and his youngest Guardian. I like the parallel of Oscar to Qrow because once upon a time, Qrow was in Oscar’s shoes as the original youngest member of his Circle along with his sister. However, unlike Raven, Ozpin took a greater shine to Qrow due to his loyal nature and provided him with more training and trust; allowing the two to forge a friendship stronger than any relationship Oz had with his remaining Guardians.

I like the idea of Qrow originally being jealous of Oscar only to eventually warm up to him after realizing their commonalities. So in the end, Qrow becomes a surrogate father figure to Oscar and learns to care for him as much as Ozpin did; recognizing his potential as well.

It’s a nice way to have Qrow and Oscar bond through their ties to Ozpin but without Qrow treating Oscar as Ozpin most of the time. As an AU, it can work.

How would this AU handle the RoseGarden relationship/romance?

Well for starters Oscar and Ruby will be the same age of 16 years old in this AU. Oscar would also be his own character. For this AU, I love the idea of Ruby slowly falling in love with Oscar purely for his, quote, ‘big heart’ after observing his caring nature towards ‘Ozzy’, the childlike persona of Ozpin’s younger form.

Instead of Oscar being based off of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, he’d be based off of the Woodcutter from the Little Red Riding Hood fairy-tale. Though Oscar is Ozpin’s protector who saved Ozpin, his fairy-tale inspiration would share the same origins with Ruby for this AU. That’s the idea I had.

So in conclusion:

This is my first time coming up with an AU idea for RWBY. And for what it’s worth, I really love what I pumped out. It makes me kinda wish things had been done sorta like this in the main series canon. Buuuut... that doesn’t mean I’m not excited to see how the CRWBY Writers will handle developing Oscar and Ozpin’s dynamic in the main series.

They definitely have created a very unique and interesting character in Oscar Pine and his current predicament with Professor Ozpin. So as a proud Pinehead, I’m curious to see how it’s going to be for the following seasons especially with how they plan on balancing development and character growth for both sides of the Man with Two Souls while also showing progress with their relationships; both within Ozpin and Oscar’s ties to each other as well as the other characters they encounter.

But until I get to see more of the planned story for my two favourite characters in RWBY (Oscar and Ozpin), I guess for now I’ll toss out deas for AUs feautring one or two alternate ways the CRWBY could’ve written Ozpin and Oscar’s story; starting with this one. I think my ‘Little Cute Boy Ozpin’ AU is my best and favourite one written down so far.

It definitely puts together some of the best ideas I could think of in the event that the story had been written like that. Besides if it doesn’t work as an AU for RWBY then it would make one hell of an original adventure inspired by RWBY with maybe a few influences from the Wizard of Oz tale.

Wouldn’t mind playing around with a story like that if I ever felt up to the task. But who knows? For now, it’s just a really neat AU idea brought to you by the squiggle meister. Hope you fellow RWBY fam like it.

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

#greenfablesinverness #rwby #oscar pine #professor ozpin #oscar and ozpin #oscar and ruby #rwby theories #rwby remarks

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youhadmeathewwo · 7 years

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Guide to Spelling and Grammar for New Writers

I got inspired, so I figured I’d write this. Note that this is going to be Internet grammar, aka ‘Good-Enough Grammar’; I’m not going to talk about split infinitives and stuff like that (not that I particularly believe in them anyway).

Examples will be in blockquotes:

This is an example of an example.

This guide covers the following: parts of speech (what kind of word a word is), how to use punctuation, when to capitalize words, some basic (technical) advice on the practice of writing dialogue, when to add paragraphs, and a list of commonly confused words and phrases your spell checker might miss.

May you find it useful in your creative work.

Parts of Speech

Anyone who knows what an adverb is can skip this section. It just covers terms for different kinds of words that come up later.

Noun  A noun is a word that refers to a person, place, or thing. “Box”, “Canada”, “Paul”, “Duel Disk”, and “beauty” are all nouns.

Adjective  An adjective modifies a noun. “Blue”, “beautiful”, “tall”, “shaky”, and “freaked-out” are all adjectives.  Normally, an adjective goes right before a noun: “Blue car”, “beautiful bird”, and so on.

Pronoun A pronoun refers to someone (or multiple someones) in relative terms. “He”, “she”, “they”, “me”, “myself”, “I”, “his”, “we”, and “them” are all pronouns, though this is in no way a complete list.

Verb  A verb is a word that describes an action. “Run”, “jump”, “think”, and “discombobulate” are all verbs. Adverb  An adverb modifies a verb. “Quickly”, “sloppily”, and “sweatily” are adverbs. The giveaway that something is an adverb is it usually ends in -ly. Normally, an adverb goes after (or just before) a verb: “He cooked sloppily”.

Conjunction  A conjunction is a filler word like ‘and’, ‘but’, ‘or’, ‘yet’, ‘not’, or ‘so’. It sticks two parts of a sentence together.

Preposition A preposition is a word that pins two things down in space and/or time relative to one another (”after”, “behind”, “inside”, “above”, ”before”, ”when”), or a word like “of”, “to”, or “for” that establishes a relationship between two things.

Punctuation

The period ( . )  A period ends a sentence. If you don’t end your sentences with periods, your readers will get very confused.

The bell tolled a final knell.

The exception is: if you are having a character say a sentence that would normally end with a period, and it’s not the end of the outer sentence that contains the dialogue line, their dialogue ends with a comma instead.

“This ends now,” Jeremy said, holding his katana.  Dan the ninja shook his head. “It ended long ago.”

The exclamation point ( ! ) The exclamation point makes sentences emphatic! Adding one ends a sentence, and makes it sound surprising or unusual to boot.

The tiger jumped out at Calvin from behind a bush!

While you normally only put an exclamation point at the end of a sentence, you can use one at the end of a part of a sentence that’s in parentheses or dashes (see below) to emphasize just that part.

She posed with the ice cream (and finally smiled!) before I took her picture. A trumpet sounded— the army had arrived!— and the demon horde flew away in fear.

The question mark ( ? ) Question marks, which end a sentence, make the sentence into a question, or at least give it a questioning tone.

Was this all there was? There were two pizza boxes, and 100 kids outside.

Like the exclamation point, you can use a question mark without ending a sentence if you put the question mark at the end of a part of a sentence that’s in parentheses or dashes. This makes only that part of the sentence into a question.

Lily winked— was she playing a trick on me?— and held out a flower. I peeked through the door (was the concert over?) and was blown back by a jagged chord.

The comma ( , )  A comma marks a break in a sentence. It’s used to break up the flow of sentences and make sense of them. If you’re reading a sentence aloud, a good rule of thumb is to put in a comma wherever you’d pause a bit for effect.

Sharon stared at the screen, watching the words she’d never dreamed of appear: ‘We rob the bank next Tuesday.’

More specifically, you use commas in the following situations:

• At the end of a line of dialogue, replacing periods, if the sentence with the line continues after the line is finished.

“It's over,” I said. “The world just ended.”

• In dialogue, when someone mentions another person’s name.

Kay stared at the sword, planted immovably in the rock. “Arthur, you try,” he said.

• In a list of things, to separate parts of the list. 

The books came in candy colors: red, orange, yellow, and blue.

• If you’re stacking multiple adjectives before a noun and they could go in either order, add a comma.

It is a fast, strong Pokémon. It is a strong, fast Pokémon. It is a fast Water-type Pokémon. (no comma because you wouldn’t say ‘it is a Water-type fast Pokémon)

• If you have a part of a sentence that describes or explains something, but the sentence would still be a complete sentence with that part taken out, then separate that part with commas.

Kristen is secretly a superhero. Kristen, Jeff’s older sister, is secretly a superhero.

• If you have two parts of a sentence that are separated by a conjunction (and both parts would each work as a standalone sentence), use a comma before the conjunction to make this clear.

Pamala played her flute, but she was unaware of the tiger sneaking up behind her. Pamala played her flute. She was unaware of the tiger sneaking up behind her. (See how you can have both parts work as a standalone sentence? ‘But’ is the conjunction.)

• If you have a sentence with two parts— where the first part introduces the second part, but that first part wouldn’t stand on its own as a sentence— put a comma after the first part.

Running to the sconce, Tim didn’t notice that he’d dropped the Orb of Power. (You can’t make ‘Running to the sconce’ into its own sentence here.)

This also applies to even shorter first parts, like “Yes”, “No”, or adverbs.

Unsurprisingly, the ninjas had gotten to the office ahead of me. (No, I didn’t freak out!)

• And, well— if a sentence would be confusing if you don’t add a comma, then you should add one. When you run into one of these situations, it’ll usually fit one of the previous items on this list.

James found his passions: cooking his family and his dog. (Yikes! Maybe adding some commas will clear things up.) James found his passions: cooking, his family, and his dog.

• One more thing: If you’re trying to join two individual sentences into a single sentence, you can’t just stick a comma between them and call it a day. This gives you something called a ‘comma splice’, and it’s the best way to make a beta reader wince.

Will came home, he fed his pet Triceratops. (This is how not to do it.)

Instead, you can join the two sentences with a conjunction...

Will came home, and fed his pet Triceratops.

Or, you can stick in a preposition (the space-time kind, not the relationship kind) to explain how the two sentences relate to each other.

After Will came home, he fed his pet Triceratops. Will came home, then he fed his pet Triceratops.

Apostrophe ( ‘ ) An apostrophe is mostly using for marking ownership. By adding “ ‘s “ to the owner of a thing, you indicate it is the owner’s thing - that is, the thing belongs to the owner.

The woodsman shrugged. “It’s the Sheriff of Nottingham’s land. If Robin Hood comes through here, he’ll be shot full of arrows,” he said.

If the thing in question has more than one owner, and the word for the owners ends in ‘s’, then just add the apostrophe. Don’t add another ‘s’.

The mice’s cheese never tastes half as good as the rats’ cheese.

Apostrophes are also used in contractions, turning "do not" into “don’t”, “cannot” into “can’t”, “she would” into “she’d”, “you will” into “you’ll”, and so on.

Quotes ( “” ) Quote marks serve several purposes, but the one you’ll see most often is marking lines of dialogue - things people say - when they appear in a story.

“I can’t be late!” Kurt said. “My mythic destiny is to be on this game show!”

Quote marks simply show where a line of dialogue begins and ends. If you don’t include this, your readers will think they’re reading actions when they’re really reading dialogue, and confusion will result.

If a character says something that’d end with a period, and the sentence continues after their line of dialogue, swap out that period for a comma instead:

“The die is cast,” Caesar said, as he clambered out of the river.

If you want to show what a character’s thinking, instead, you shouldn’t use quote marks - instead, put their thoughts in italics to show it’s something they’re thinking (and, if there’s more to the sentence, add a comma after the 'thought’ part).

This isn’t gonna work, thought Estelle. The other team knows too much already!

You can also use quote marks to call out a particular word or phrase that you’re quoting exactly...

“To The End Of All Days” was written on the paper.

...but if someone’s quoting something inside a line of dialogue (or anywhere already inside double quotes), you switch to single quote marks for the inner quote.

“The password is ‘swordfish’,” Mei said. “Every password is ‘swordfish’!” Linh replied. “Why can’t this one be ‘bugmuffins’ or something? It’d be harder to guess.”

Parentheses ( ( ) ) Parentheses mark a part of a sentence that’s a little bit separate from the rest of it.

Two members of the Pepper family were superheroes (not counting the dog).

The rule for putting part of a sentence in parentheses is simple: Only put something in parentheses if you could take it out and still have a full sentence. You can use the part in parentheses to explain in more detail, make a side note, or add color commentary. However, if you want to end the sentence in parentheses with a period, put the period outside the parentheses.

You can also put a full sentence in parentheses. If this happens, treat it like it’s a normal sentence that just happens to have parentheses around it.

I could see it in the book: he was destined to become the next Supreme Overlord. (I didn’t tell him.)

Dashes ( — ) You can use dashes to ‘pull out’ part of a sentence in the same way parentheses do. However, dashes draw the reader’s attention more:

Joyce ran— tossed the baton to her partner— then sank down panting as the relay race continued.

You can also use dashes to break up the flow of a sentence, effectively adding a dramatic pause.

Danny laid his hand on the "Cancel Selfdestruct“ switch— but it was too late. The ship exploded, and he was launched into the water.

Finally, you can use a dash to end a line of dialogue if the person speaking is interrupted or stops speaking suddenly.

“Hey!” Alf yelled at the retreating gnomes. “You can’t just—” They were gone.

Semicolon ( ; ) A semicolon is an advanced way to join two sentences together; it goes where you would normally put a period, but the result counts as a single sentence.

The spearmen checked the slides on their trombones; the archers stood ready with their flutes and whistles; the infantry got into position with their violins and cellos; the demolitions squad wheeled out their drums and cymbals. “All right,” Janis said, from her commander’s seat at the piano. “The orchestra’s ready for the Battle of the Bands.”

Colon ( : ) A colon is kind of like a dash in that it breaks up sentences, but it’s a bigger break than a dash, and can only be used in specific circumstances. First, you can use a colon when the second part of the sentence is something that happens because of the first part:

Link pressed the button: a candy popped out of the machine, then the light under the button went out.

Second, you can use a colon when the second part of the sentence goes into more detail about the first part.

The requirements for the job were listed below: two years of experience and one of volunteer work.

Finally, you can use a colon before the start of a list or quote.

I have five figurines: two of Kirby, one of a Vocaloid, one of a bear, and one of a kumquat.

Popples read from the paper: “If you are reading this, come to Dungeons-R-Us!”

You should try to use only one colon in any sentence, to avoid confusion.

Capitalization

You should make the first letter of a word a capital letter:

• At the beginning of a sentence.

The beginning of a story is often simple.

• When the word is part of someone’s name. Prepositions, and their foreign-language equivalents, (’de’, ‘del’, ‘of’) don’t count.

The book belonged to Jane Smith. Before that, Gilbert de Quincy had owned it.

• The same goes for the name of an organization, country, or street. Prepositions and conjunctions (’of’, ‘for’, ‘with’, ‘and’) don’t count.

The sign above the Royal Library glinted in the sun. A smaller sign added, ‘382 Store Street, Republic of Tonilvania.’

• You capitalize job titles that are unique, or nearly so.

“He went from a clerk to Grand Poobah,” Sara said. “No, don’t give me that look!” she added. “His title’s really Grand Poobah.”

• You also capitalize each word in the title of a creative work, like a book, movie, or musical album. Yet again, prepositions and conjunctions don’t count.

“Dude!” Len said. “The new movie, Bears with Guns, is bonkers!”

• If the word is ‘I’. ‘I’ is always capitalized for the same reason people’s names are.

The driver accelerated, but I still wasn’t sure we’d get there on time.

You should put an entire word in capital letters:

• If someone is shouting.

“I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE THE KING OF EL DORADO!” Han yelled.

• Optionally, to show that a sign uses block letters. Picking out a sign this way is less ‘friendly’ than just pulling its text out with quotes.

An old, twisted plaque was embedded in the ground by the doors, saying, FABRICATION.

Dialogue

Putting lines of dialogue in something you write is easy: Just enclose the line in quote marks (see above). However, there are a few things you need to keep in mind.

Who’s Talking?

You need to indicate who’s talking, regularly, or the reader will get very confused very fast. The simplest way to do this is to use ‘said’ as part of the same sentence, either in front of the line of dialogue, or after it.

Phoenix said, “I’m my own lawyer, Your Honor.” “That’s unlikely,” said Manfred von Karma.

(Note that the period in the second sentence’s line of dialogue was replaced by a comma, because the sentence continues even though the line of dialogue ends.)

Some sources will tell you to avoid the use of ‘said’ as much as possible, and to try to find other words to use. Ignore them. ‘Said’ is invisible to the reader; these other words aren’t. You can use words other than ‘said’— ‘asked’, ‘yelled’, ‘whispered’, or ‘exclaimed’ are good candidates now and again, but try to use ‘said’ most of the time.

“Said,” He Said

Note that you don’t have to use “So-and-so said” or “said So-and-so” with every sentence. Instead, you can imply it by mentioning the person acting, then use “said” with a preposition.

Jane raised an eyebrow. “This is a mad scientist’s work?” she said.

If you’re feeling really daring, you can even leave the preposition out and just have the line of dialogue stand on its own. This is usually best when you’ve just said who’s talking, and that person is saying more on the same line of text. Be sure you’re not confusing your reader if you decide to do this!

“It’s a tricky question,” said the mantis-girl. “If I were to fall in love, and then I wanted to also eat them, should I?”

Splitting Dialogue

You can split a line of dialogue into two, as well! Just stick a comma at the end of the first half of the line, add more text of a sentence, then put another comma before the dialogue starts again.

“It’s a tricky problem,” May said, fiddling with her glasses, “but I think my professor can find a solution.”

Punctuation Required

Be aware: you should always end a line of dialogue with some punctuation mark, no matter what. You can use a period (if the line of dialogue and a sentence end at the same spot), a comma (if not), or an exclamation mark or question mark (in either case). You can even use a dash, if the speaker is interrupted.

“This is how not to do it” Paul said. Ringo nodded. “Yeah, it sounds bad”

Paragraphs

If your work looks like a giant wall of text, readers will get nervous or lose their places. The solution to this is to break action up using paragraphs. Note that the following guidelines will often lead to a lot of short paragraphs. I tend to use line breaks (Shift-Return in the Tumblr editor and many others, just starting a new line instead of putting space before it) to consolidate some types of paragraph breaks - they’ll be listed below.

In these examples, the start of a new paragraph will be shown by the symbol [¶].

Placing paragraphs is more of an art than a science, but in generally, you want to make a new paragraph, when:

• The time the story is taking place changes.

”It’ll be a fine exhibition,” said the head keeper, watching the animals file in.” [¶] Later that day, I stopped by the lion’s cage for a chat with the big cat.

• The location the story is taking place changes.

...Mel slowly dragged his friend out of the restroom, swearing never to visit this restaurant ever again.

[¶] Mel’s friend’s house was small on the outside, but bigger once you were through the door.

• When the person speaking, thinking, or acting changes. You can replace these with line breaks if you have a lot of dialogue, and in fact I recommend doing so, but if you do, be sure to break the action up with an actual paragraph break after a while!

“Is that a clue?” Watson asked Holmes, pointing out the shard of glass stuck in the wallpaper.

[¶] Holmes shrugged. “It could be,” he said. “I must investigate more.”

The line-break version:

“Is that a clue?” Watson asked Holmes, pointing out the shard of glass stuck in the wallpaper. Holmes shrugged. “It could be,” he said. “I must investigate more.”

Note that here, the line break is more to ensure that the two characters’ lines of dialogue, and puts Watson’s and Holmes’ actions on the same line. It’s OK. Of the paragraphing rules, this one was made to be broken.

• For dramatic effect. If you overuse this, the effect won’t be as powerful!

The music stopped. The candles went out. And, the cultists lined up on each side of the walkway, bowing to Sherry as she approached the dark portal.

[¶] It was time.

Commonly Confused Words

These are all the ones your spell-checker won’t catch. (Suggestions for more word pairs to add are very welcome.)

Its vs. it’s “It’s” is short for ‘it is’. “Its” says what something belongs to: “its new tires”.

My pet hamster loves its new running wheel. It’s looking a bit thinner lately.

Your vs. you’re "You’re” is short for "you are". Like “its”, “your” says who owns something: "my dog, your cat, Steven’s lion".

You’re not going to ask me to clean out your car again, are you?

Their, they’re, and there “They’re” is like "you’re". It’s short for ‘they are’. In the same way, ‘their’ says who owns a thing: "their new carpet". 'There' refers to a place, or you can say "there’s" (there is) something, too.

The ninja squad? They’re going to change into their uniforms when they arrive. I know there’s a changing room there.

Could have (or should have, would have, etc.) vs. could of It turns out, ‘have’ is a verb. It’s kind of a weird verb, because it’s used before other verbs to change the tense of the verb after it. (Look up ‘perfect aspect’ in Wikipedia if you’re curious.) Anyway. Saying ‘could have’, ‘would have’, ‘should have’, etc. is always followed by a verb - that’s because it’s this usage of ‘have’. If you say ‘could of’, the ‘of’ doesn’t mean anything and it sounds weird (unless you’re having a character say ‘could of’ on purpose to show that they haven’t read this guide.)

TLDR: Use ‘could have’.

I could have used ‘have’ by now.

By the way: ‘have’ can also be used as a verb the normal way, like, “I have a pillow”. Put it together with ‘had’, and you get...

I should have had a sandwich.

Affect vs. effect This is a tricky one. The giveaway is that ‘affect’ (to change something) is a verb, while ‘effect’ (the results when something is changed) is a noun.

Sahibdeep looked at the heap of blocks that had been the Jenga tower. The effect of his move was clear to see. “I didn’t think pulling that block would affect it...” he said.

A lot vs. allot vs. alot “A lot” of something is a great many. To allot is to assign resources to people. ‘Alot’ is a typo.

We have a lot of ninja maids on our staff. How will I allot them all to guests?

Are vs. our ‘Are’ is the plural of ‘is’. (That’s how things are.) Meanwhile, ‘our’ shows ownership by more than one person.

The dragons are the owners of the dragons’ hoard, but our sheep are our property, and they’ll have to buy ‘em if they want any.

Bare vs. bear A bear is an animal that likes honey and salmon, and comes in black, grizzly, polar, panda, and Pooh varieties. Meanwhile, something that is bare is not covered by anything.

Every day, King Kong bares his chest and yells at the wild bears who live on on the nearby mountain.

(’To bear’ can also mean ‘to carry something’, by the way.)

Ball vs. bawl A ball is a round thing you can play basketball or tennis with. To bawl is to cry.

Tim bawled as the babysitter ran over. “I lost my ball in the river!” he said.

Breathe vs. breath This is one of those ones where the verb and its associated noun sound very similar. To breathe (with an E) is to inhale or exhale. Breath (without an E) refers to the air that flows when you breathe.

The T.Rex’s hot breath blew onto Gary’s shoulders as he ran. Finally, he dived into the shelter and slammed the door, grateful for the chance to breathe freely again.

Bullion vs. bouillon Bullion are bars of gold, silver, or other precious metals. Bouillon is a soup stock, and is usually sold dried, in a cube or as a powder.

“Ha!” said the mad scientist, calibrating the machine. “This device will turn all the bullion in the First Century Bank... INTO BOUILLON!” “Into soup, ma’am?” asked Igor. “Why would you do that?!” The mad scientist shrugged. “I was hungry,” she said.

Caliber vs. calibre vs. Calibur Caliber and calibre are the NA and UK spellings for the same word - which refers to either something’s quality, or the size of a gun barrel. ‘Calibur’ is either a misspelling or part of the name of a certain legendary weapon.

The .35 caliber pistol was a weapon of the highest caliber, but even it can’t beat the Soul Calibur.

Complementary vs. Complimentary This one’s annoying just because the two look so close to one another - and also it’s easy to get wrong. (Seriously - I’ve seen other guides get this wrong. Anyways...) Something that’s complimentary (with an I and an E) is either free, or it compliments you. Something that’s complementary (with two E’s) is a thing that complements something else: that is, together with the other thing, the best qualities of both are brought forth.

The sign said ‘Complimentary Praise’. When I asked about it, the clerk was very complimentary.

Peanut butter is complementary to chocolate, though my friend says it goes best with pickles!

(For your own sake, please do not actually try peanut butter and pickles together.)

Defiant vs. definite To be definite is to be sure about something. To be defiant is to either resist, or disobey.

“I’ve definitely got it,” Katy said to Ness. “We’ve got to be defiant, like the heroes in a dystopian novel.”

Defuse vs. diffuse To defuse something is to disarm it (often explosives or other tense situations are involved). To diffuse something is usually applied to gas, smoke, and so on, and means to spread it out over a large area, and possibly weaken its effect.

I couldn’t defuse the stink bomb, but the resulting cloud of stink diffused quickly as the wind blew it away.

Discrete vs. discreet A discrete thing has clearly defined boundaries separating it from other things. Meanwhile, to be discreet is to keep something on the down low.

While Manny separated the sheet of stickers into discrete name badges, I discreetly made off with the keys to the supply closet.

Do vs. due To do something is... to do it. However, if something is ‘due’, it needs to be handed over - be it an assignment to be handed in, a fee to be paid, and so on.

Liz faced Crowley. “This is a library copy of the Necronomicon. It’s due tomorrow. If you won’t return it, I’ll do it instead!”

Faze vs. phase To faze someone is to frazzle them - to get them on edge. To phase (the verb) is either to do something in stages (to ‘phase out’ means to gradually get rid of), or to use superpowers to move through a solid object.

A phase (the noun) is a stage or state of something.

“All right,” said the supervillain, Superpower-Granting Jim, “Phase 1 of my plan is for you to get the ability to phase through walls. I’ll have your powers phase in gradually. Don’t let them faze you.”

Lead vs. led Lead and led are the same verb with two different tenses: ‘lead’ is present tense, ‘led’ is past tense.

Crabshaw led the Pirate Nation badly. It’s my turn to lead, yarrr!

’Lead’ can also refer to a clue - ‘a lead’ - or a certain heavy gray metal.

Loose vs. lose

Something that is loose is not tight. Meanwhile, you lose if someone beats you in a game (or you misplace something important - then you lose the item).

Alexa didn’t notice the controller cable had come loose from the video console until ‘Game Over - You Lose’ flashed on the screen.

Might as well vs. mind as well ‘Might as well’ is a phrase similar to ‘should probably’. ’Mind as well’ isn’t a real phrase, and doesn’t mean anything.

I might as well fix where I wrote ‘mind as well’ in my fanfic.

One and the same vs. one in the same ‘One and the same’ means that two things are really the same one. ‘One in the same’ doesn’t mean anything. Change the ‘in’ to an ‘and’.

Rachel sighed, taking off the mask. “It’s true,” she said. “Rachel the Shy and Pretty Princess Marshmallow Fluff are one and the same.”

Peak vs. peek vs. pique This one can be easily confused, and ‘pique’ has two meanings, which makes it worse. A peak is the top of a mountain (or the top of anything). To peek is to sneak a look at something. Pique, when used as a noun, means annoyance (it’s typically found in the phrase ‘a fit of pique’). When used as a verb, to pique a person’s interest is to get someone curious.

With Rand’s telescope, I was able sneak a peek at the nearby mountain peak. The ruined monastery on top piqued my curiosity.

Per se vs. per say Per se is a Latin phrase, meaning “by itself” when translated (and used the same way). Because it’s Latin, you should always put it in italics. ‘Per say’ is a misspelling, though it can be used to represent someone saying ‘per se’ who has a really broad accent.

Mark isn’t a bad candidate per se, but I want an animal trainer who’s also good with eldritch beasts.

Psych vs. sike You say ‘psych’ to someone to tell them you’re teasing them. It can also be short for ‘psychiatric’ or ‘psychology’. ‘Sike’ isn’t a word.

“Psyyyyych!” Lily said, grinning. I rolled my eyes. Who’d believe the 1904 Olympics had wild dogs in it, anyway?

Rang vs. rung ‘Rang’ is the word for when something was ringing in the past. You find a rung on a ladder.

I climbed up the rungs of the ladder and rang the bell. The firefighters cheered.

Regimen vs. regiment A regimen is a training program (for example, a set of weightlifting exercises). A regiment is a whole bunch of soldiers.

The regiment was starting on their training regimen when the Fire Nation attacked.

Reign vs. rein A king or queen reigns; that’s the technical term for being a monarch. A rein is how you control a horse (or, metaphorically, you can ‘rein someone in’ to cool someone’s enthusiasm).

The reigning queen reined in her horse, looking up at the clockwork battleship under construction.

Shudder vs. shutter To shudder is to tremble. A shutter goes over a window, or inside a camera lens.

The monster closed the shutters of the rickety old house. What if there were humans out there? It shuddered to think of it.

Then vs. than ‘Then’ is a word that says what happens next. ‘Than’ is used in comparisons - more than, less than, older than, and so on.

Now, I’m shorter than this garden gnome. But someday— then, I’ll be the same height!

Wander vs. wonder To wander is to travel around aimlessly. To wonder is to think aimlessly (or with awe).

I wonder what my life would be like if I took up the way of the wandering musician.

Wanton vs. wonton ‘Wanton’ can refer to something that’s particularly senseless (ex. ‘wanton vandalism’) or oversexed. A wonton is a small dumpling you eat in a soup.

Whenever Jackie Chan goes to a restaurant and gets wontons, you never know if the place will break out in a wantonly destructive martial-arts fight.

Wary vs. weary To be wary is to be on edge, or nervous. To be weary is to be tired.

The sign said: “Weary Wanderers must be Wary of Werewolves in the Woods - or you could stay at the Wild Wabbit Waystation!”

e.g. vs. i.e. Both “e.g.” and “i.e.” are abbreviations of Latin phrases. “e.g.” is short for exempli gratia, which means (roughly) ‘for example’. On the other hand, “i.e.” is short for id est, which means (literally) ‘that is’. You use e.g. wherever you’d use ‘for example’, and you use ‘i.e.’ wherever you’d use ‘that is’. It’s that simple.

Water-Type Pokémon, e.g. Lapras, usually need water to swim in.

Jessie was abducted by a Legendary Pokémon, i.e. not a Gyarados!

Closing

That’s everything! Thanks for reading this far. I’ll try to keep this guide updated - if you have a suggestion for an addition or update, just message me or send me an ask.

Thank you!

#writing #guide #spelling #grammar #beginning writers #writing guide #writer's guide #fanfic writing

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hgfstreamchats · 6 years

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Delgo

ThebesAce hello! Me Hello, Thebes human! ThebesAce oh, thenightetc is waiting to be let in Me Hm, I'm not seeing a message. thenightetc Hi! Me Night human, hello! thenightetc I just reloaded the page and tried again. Me Rabbit's an aftport. thenightetc Apparently! thenightetc Ohhhh my.

ThebesAce oh this one hahah thenightetc Oh my god thenightetc This is amazing Me Alright! Is everyone ready for Delgo? thenightetc Well, THOSE look aerodynamic. Me Don't they just make perfect sense? thenightetc Maybe the planet has a very, very, very thick atmosphere. Me The majestic colonhead. Er Hmmmmm 😐 MORE aerodynamics Me This is the kind of race the Cybertronian expansion wiped out. we were right to do it. thenightetc You know, I feel like I should disapprove on principle, but... Me They look like Torkuli. thenightetc Imagine I'm wagging my finger at you, but insincerely Me Good compromise. thenightetc ThebesAce OH HEY WHO SAW THIS COMing thenightetc I'm going to go ahead and imagine these guys are bug-sized "Explaining" how they can fly With those wings and that gravity also yikes okay, so she has a selection of prosthetics Me Was she murdered or wasn't she? *Executed thenightetc Not executed--they were cutting off her wings, not her head Me Well, that's pointless. thenightetc Probably some horrible exile thing Me One that clearly won't leave her more vicious than before. ThebesAce Scorpion gotta sting, exiled royal gotta murder her obstacles thenightetc Why do they even have that feature in their dining room thenightetc Well, that was smart ThebesAce I KEPT EXPECTING TO HEAR MARIO NOISES WITH THOSE JUMPS thenightetc Ha! Surely not, the movie's named after him ThebesAce silly comic relief, he'll be around mocking you for at least the rest of the movie Me Can we cut something important off of this character too? Please? thenightetc I vote head. ThebesAce If we're lucky, it'll be screentime thenightetc "I'd literally rather die a squashy death" So, do YOUR races ever end like this? Me I'd give up racing if they did. ThebesAce Soooo is it just me or is this guy basically saying "Look, if we act like they exist we have to pay consequences for that massacre thing." thenightetc So they're Jedi, too Me Tell them I hate them. thenightetc God, yeah, why would ANYbody want TELEKINESIS. How lame is that?? Moving stuff with your mind? Booooooring. ThebesAce yeah just LET GO of the MASSACRE you are A SURVIVOR OF thenightetc The past is the past! Me Something something mercy! thenightetc For vengeance, a Jedi cares not thenightetc Shouldn't that thing he hit still be lying there? thenightetc I'm dying a little inside because I can tell this is the movie's romance Me These two have a more compelling romance. ThebesAce for real ThebesAce for real thenightetc Pffff, if he's on a winning streak then why's he need a loan. I assume that's practically treason, or something Me Time for another lesson on turning the other cheek! thenightetc Just sneak over to THEIR hideout and wreck THEIR junk Me Why couldn't the Autobots have been this useless and apathetic? It would have spared everyone vorns of grief. thenightetc Put up some graffiti or something ThebesAce your carnivorousness. That's an AMAZING form of address. thenightetc Does that mean they AREN'T carnivores? I mean... the lackey guys Me She looks like she's eating weeds. ThebesAce or she's just especially bloodthirsty thenightetc They've got teeth like humans Me She put on her classiest rubber pants. thenightetc ...Walking pineapples Jalaperilo Yo! thenightetc Hi! Me Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo Why is everyone uggo? ThebesAce because the animation budget was just south of claymation thenightetc It doesn't really look low-budget, to me... just ugly art direction ThebesAce this was released the same year as WALL-E Jalaperilo I have never heard about this fiom before now I dunno if it got a uk release lol Me I like how he had all day to plan this weird date and that was the best he could come up with. thenightetc Right? Show her your jedi powers and yell at her about some dudes wrecked your temple's rock garden Jalaperilo Also, what was that explosion of anger at ger. What an abusive tool thenightetc Ladies love jedi powers and being yelled at! Jalaperilo I hate this generic film already Me Daddy Tightpants bought it because you were bad. Jalaperilo Haha! I never wanna hear "daddy tightpants" from you again Me You're welcome. ThebesAce stop repeating everything! Me Please, Primus and/or Unicron, take that one's thumbs. thenightetc This cost $40 million to make Jalaperilo Tell me 39.99million was spent on hookers thenightetc Could have slid some of that towards better writing Me Hah! Jalaperilo They deffo didnt have a cinematographer or storyboarders thenightetc Wow Jalaperilo So everyone has fantasy inspired clothes except the stoner skateboard er thenightetc oh my god He should have used his jedi powers to get it across the gap ThebesAce why is he so aggressively useless thenightetc hahahah Jalaperilo What was the point of that??? ThebesAce Stupidest king on the planet thenightetc This seems like a dumb way to do votes Like, what, whoever's the strongest jedi gets their way? Jalaperilo Dumb-go thenightetc Rude. Jalaperilo He is dumb though lol Me Feed them the squawking one. ThebesAce GREAT LINE READ ON THAT SCREAM thenightetc I'm rooting for the giant enemy crab Me Crab, crab! Go, crab! Jalaperilo I hate this so much. Its so generic. The characters are just furthering the plot and not geing characters. Its predictable dialogue and stilted anination make it boring. Its not even a good bad film thenightetc WOW ThebesAce yes. Let him be drained of his fluids thenightetc "you're definitely not covered in spinemonsters" Jalaperilo He wants his friend dead Me As do we all. Jalaperilo Racism Me They have the same faces, the same body structure. They clearly diverged from the same ugly ancestor. Jalaperilo Hasnt stopped humans Me Point, point. thenightetc What, so are those ones her original wings? Jalaperilo Does she wear other people s wings? thenightetc I think they're just made of cloth or something Me Those look like the originals. thenightetc I guess they let her keep them Me Did they just let her keep them as a momento? Jalaperilo Oh fuck ThebesAce Why is the comic relief still here? thenightetc And then she had them preserved?? Jalaperilo They fucking mutilate people???? thenightetc Oh my god Me Cue screaming as her wings come off. ThebesAce oh, yeah, big bad there got her wings got chopped off in the prologue Jalaperilo Maybe these people deserve to ge killed? ThebesAce they WERE responsible for a massacre they never apologized for Jalaperilo Im rooting for this lass thenightetc Oh, just thump it with your hand or soemthing Me She has style, a motivation, and a partner she clearly adores and is fragging senseless. I'm on her side too. thenightetc Idiot! Don't waste time. Jalaperilo Pity she suffers from neanderthal face like the rest of them thenightetc Hey, it's not nice to laugh at people's hilarious genetic conditions Jalaperilo Lol thenightetc Oh, what a shame, he's dead Forever Me Exactly. If you're going to laugh, you need to throw in some pointing. thenightetc Why is there an asteroid field Jalaperilo Cause they had a budget of 40mil? Time is fleeting and so am i. Good night chaps! thenightetc Goodnight! Me Good night! ThebesAce good night! REALLY REALLY. thenightetc Oh, so his jedi powers finally become relevant thenightetc Pictured: gravity thenightetc "you JUST got back from being kidnapped" thenightetc "DIdn't we... banish you?" "Oh, I quit when I heard about this!" Me "You quit...being banished?" thenightetc Oh no! How unexpected! Me How tragic and stuff. thenightetc So what's the dragon thingy exactly Aside from something the other guy, and then he, threw for a distraction ThebesAce I'll be shocked if they explain thenightetc Oh, so they're no tthe originals thenightetc Well, I think she'll have gotten the picture after that rescue thenightetc oh c'mon, the war is OVER her in the first place thenightetc Haha, he looks so embarassed ThebesAce I'm getting Jupiter Ascending flashbacks ThebesAce let her faaaall thenightetc C'mon, it'd be so convenient, right Me No one would have to know. thenightetc she's totally faking anyway she's totally gonna murder you ThebesAce She's spent this entire movie being literally and figuratively poisonous to everyone around her Me Goodbye, only interesting character in the film. thenightetc Well, it's almost over anyway Okay??? Me And then they devoured him, starting with the eyes or whatever other body part he values most. ThebesAce THIS MUSIC LIES. NOTHING in this movie was this adventurous sounding! Me And of course, some art of what could have been. thenightetc Ah, so this is why we blame. Me This is a long list of credits for something so pitiful. thenightetc Uh What are these "Mini 'Mator of Mirth"? Please. Me Very professional. thenightetc Well then. ThebesAce so that happened Me That certainly was an hour and a half we won't get back. thenightetc I feel like this is the inverse of that one movie The one with Little Red Riding Hood ThebesAce Oh yeah, Hoodwinked thenightetc thebes, you know the one I mean, I can't remember---yeah! Hoodwinked. Me Was that anywhere near as awful as this? thenightetc No, no! ThebesAce no, it was great! thenightetc The story is great. ThebesAce it just had terrible animation thenightetc The characters are great. It's just ugly as sin. ThebesAce that kinda made the woodsman's scenes extra hilarious though thenightetc It's... I'm sure they did the best with the tools available to them at the time. ThebesAce yeah, they had a rock bottom animation budget but the story, characters and human were really good humor thenightetc See it's the inverse because THIS has animation that looks fine, but the story and characters are bland/annoying. ThebesAce also, predictable as all get out romance where Hoodwinked doesn't even have a romance, just a bunch of characters who have a bad enough day the cops get involved thenightetc It's a lot of fun! Me Sounds unexpectedly amazing! thenightetc It really is! thenightetc It's the kind of movie that has you going, "well, looks aren't everything" ThebesAce yeah, the animation is the poster child of bad animation but it's a legitimately good, fun movie, not a so bad it's good one thenightetc Here's the trailer! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGV-cTSr6zg thenightetc "Granny, are you... a furry?" Me I see what you mean. thenightetc Right? Me Does anyone have any other suggestions to close out on? thenightetc We could watch some more SNL sketches! Looked like there were some fun ones "related" to the doll one ThebesAce Dragon Babies, for one Me Dear Unicron. thenightetc Oh my god ThebesAce this is so very on point thenightetc Wow hahahahah this is amazing thenightetc Oh! The narrator that ruined christmas? *I* want to see christmas getting ruined! also I haven't seen this before so it's not my fault if it's bad Me If it's good, we're showing it again at Christmas. thenightetc Oh, boy! Me Oh yes, showing this one at Christmas. thenightetc Well then. They're really not. thenightetc AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thenightetc I'm sure she'll be impressed Me I would be. thenightetc God Me Dear Unicron. thenightetc It's not good, though. ThebesAce oh god I laughed so hard at their misery my throat is cramping thenightetc I mean, it would be NICE if working hard on something automatically made it good... thenightetc What INDEED ThebesAce PRIORITIES thenightetc Oh my god Me I think that seems like a good place to leave it. ThebesAce yeah thenightetc It was fun, though! Thanks for hosting. 😃 Me Glad you liked! ThebesAce yeah! Me Thank you for coming! ThebesAce thank you! thenightetc oh... automatic emojis.... ThebesAce good night! Me Good night! thenightetc Goodnight!

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