#Avoiding blame in relationships

[prefer-unique]

How to Resolve Conflicts in a Relationship Without Hurting Each Other

No matter how perfect a relationship may seem, conflicts are inevitable. Disagreements don’t mean your relationship is failing—they mean you are two different people with unique perspectives. However, the way you handle these conflicts determines whether they strengthen your bond or create lasting damage. Many couples fall into the trap of blaming, shouting, or shutting down during arguments.…

[m4jesty-love]

How to Resolve Conflicts in a Relationship Without Hurting Each Other

No matter how perfect a relationship may seem, conflicts are inevitable. Disagreements don’t mean your relationship is failing—they mean you are two different people with unique perspectives. However, the way you handle these conflicts determines whether they strengthen your bond or create lasting damage. Many couples fall into the trap of blaming, shouting, or shutting down during arguments.…

[daemon-in-my-head]

One thing about Gortash that keeps bugging me is his desire to share power.

Because obviously, that's a great deal right? That's something special right? A tyrannical fascist geniunely wanting to share power with an old companion? Of all people? An old companion who fell from grace, yet Gort's still devoted to them? Isn't this, moral depravity aside, a great testament to their kinship and all that?

I mean that's certainly one way to read it right? But there's something else about that proposition, somethings leaving a bit of a sour aftertaste here, namely the near impossible level of power imbalance going on.

Gortash knows Durge intimately well. He flaunts that fact immediately and does not care about the repercussions his old companion may face due to the dirty laundry being aired publicly (if he's not looking forward to them outright, that may be their own version of flirting though tbf). Anyway, he knows their name, skills, past, and presumed motivations; they were incredibly close before the incident, and yet he hardly talks about that, brushes it off by saying "I missed you—anyway heres the issues I'm facing rn". He teases that he knows them enough to draw intrigue, but he never follows up, holding that knowledge and the answers Durge wants above their head. He uses their oath as an excuse, that they promised each other not to get involved into each other's messes, that he couldn't do shit, and then immediately asks them to get involved in his mess and sort it out for him cuz all of a sudden the oath not to get involved apparently doesn't apply anymore.

Like, yes, it seems like a "good deal" and something positive at first glance, and yes, he's not lying through his teeth but he's still withholding a shit ton of information on purpose and twisting the narrative to suit him more than anyone else. Instead of truly welcoming back someone who's been missing for months and helping them out a bit, that mf dispatches them to do his dirty work for him and promises shared reign alongside something as mundane as the chance to gain knowledge about themselves as a reward, yk the thing Durge really would like rn. AND considering Durge's notes and depending on what choices you make, sharing power would be more so Durge being merciful than smth Gortash can actually decide or propose (the balls he has for still trying though—sees a murderous demigod that can't remember they liked him once and decides to be a cocky bitch anyway).

Eitherway, he wants to share power. He might even mean it, but he's not willing to actually divulge information concerning anything 'Durge' and instead dangles the fact that he knows them above their head. He wants to share power, but only if Durge is blindly loyal to him and does not question his approach. After all sending the amnesiac gore baby to find their sister in a city and temple they can't remember whatsoever all by themselves isn't particularly efficient or smart but a damn suicide mission. And then he doesn't even provide any aid. He's willing to share power only if he gets to keep his control over the situation and Durge, and one way to confirm that is by sending the Bhaalspawn after their own family with no help nor information (either they come back and he'll be sure they still do as demanded or they'll die down there and thats that, Gortash probably). And only then is he actually willing to share power. Handily also without revealing any further information whatsoever, he's just using platitudes and buttering up to the bloody Bhaalspawn, never actually sharing any information regarding their shared past or what Durge was up to.

In conclusion, Gortash wants to share power the same way a king let's a dagger dangle from his belt while he sits on his throne. He doesn't actually want an equal right now. If he did he would not be doing everything to tip the scales in his favour and blatantly change the topic and refuse to disclose more information than necessary, information regarding the person he "missed so dearly". What he says sounds nice but what he's actually doing is trying to control Durge. This ain't rly about a shared reign or the likes, this is more so getting Durge to blindly tag along while concealing their past for reasons one can only speculate (did they fight, did someone betray the other, why is Gortash so unwilling to share any solid information?).

This escalated but you get my gist.

[nenoname]

Parts from the Stan Swine Before Time Commentary that makes me wanna study him like a bug

"But, uh, off camera, prior to this adjusting my tie in the mirror, I was downstairs trying to figure out how to get my brother back from that dimension that he… through various means wound up in. Partially my fault. Partially his. Who could really say? Y’know the point is, I wasn’t just the curmudgeon I look like here."

"This was a tale I told to Mabel to um, y’know make her see the real me because sometimes the truth is hiding within a lie. Y’know like, you might tell a lie like uh “I fought a monster for your pig” and the truth is you’re directly responsible for the pig getting stolen b-but the deeper truth is you would’ve fought a monster, right? It’s like a, it’s sorta like a truth turducken; lie, truth, lie, truth– y’know who’s really to say what is real and what is not? Certainly not Soos! He has no idea what’s real."

"Uh, yeah I’m pretty sure [McGucket] was responsible for getting us to… fall off of this [rope]… wait, let’s wait and see… yeah, there it is- called it! His fault. Sometimes I remember things being someone else’s fault but this case I was right! All McGucket."

"So what you’re watching right here, me tussling with a pig, getting attacked by a dinosaur, plummeting into a ravine, this was not how I expected this day to wind up. But, uh, push comes to shove, y’know, I’m not a bad guy, right? Like… how many of you, looking at this video right now, how many of you think that I’m gonna let this pig get eaten by a monster? Is that what you think of me? Not gonna do it. Not gonna happen."

"I can’t remember how we got outta this one. Did we, did we die? Am, am I in the afterlife right now? I seriously can’t recall. A dinosaur came for us, I must’ve done something really amazing, personally, myself. Maybe I, uh, oh whaddya know, actually it was Soos!"

[arihi]

Okay here’s the post I talked about from that last reblog!

This also goes beyond ultimatums and conversations - people will twist themselves into knots justifying behaviors and actions all on their own without any input from the important outside source. A misguided sense of noble self-sacrifice when not ever mentioned out loud is just, plainly, unwarranted and stupid. Bearing with something you don’t want to do for another person is not automatically a favor they owe you later down the line, especially if they didn’t know you were doing that. “I went to these things even though I didn’t want to and you don’t even appreciate it even though I never mentioned it” make it make sense!

As someone who does sometimes go to events or do things I don’t necessarily want to do when invited, that’s automatically on me and that’s a choice I make based on my energy levels. A lot of the time I go because I know I don’t want to in the moment but will probably enjoy myself later. Even if I don’t? That’s not on the other person, that’s not a future argument I win. People who make little balance ledgers of this stuff must be exhausted. We have got to stop blaming and trying to hold other people accountable for our sometimes admittedly rough feelings. You need to engage in emotional regulation and own up to your own mistakes that make you feel like shit instead of putting it on others ‘for putting you in the place to make that decision’.

It’s not noble self-sacrifice to remain quiet as discontent bubbles up without communicating it. It’s just boxing with shadows, and you are not going to win.

[bastart13]

So, uh, Ferncloud's tree is one where I snipped off a branch of the tree for my own sanity

Originally going from Ferncloud, daughter of Brindleface, daughter of Robinwing, mother of Dustpelt, mate of... Ferncloud.... that's definitely a connection the writers didn't think through. Dustpelt is now unrelated to them all and Brindleface is unrelated to Robinwing so Birchfall doesn't mate with his second cousin

There's not much to say otherwise. Ashfur and Ferncloud have white because Whitestorm has to carry white on top of his fully-white coat (and justify their blue eyes). Foxleap and Spiderleap are brown tabbies, though Foxleap is more reddish and Spiderleg is a classic tabby to give him a dark body and brown belly

[aroaessidhe]

2025 reads / storygraph

Shoestring Theory

fun queer fantasy romance

a mage who married his childhood friend (the prince who becomes a mad king after his sister’s untimely death which eventually ended up causing the apocalypse) casts a last ditch spell to try and fix things

and he ends up back into the body of his 20yo self and plans to kill his husband to prevent it all from going wrong

but things quickly go off the rails because of an earlier spell he cast...

[dip-the-pip]

wish dnp were real </3

[aliusfrater]

prev post begging you guys to stop uncritically adopting dean's (pretty surface level) irrational interpretations of sam's intent and actually ascribing it to your ideas of sam's motivations despite sam's succeeding expressed intent🙏

[anthromimicry]

[wiretism]

Me thinking about flashlight duo and their connections to Elizabeth because everyone explores Michael knowing I genuinely cannot figure them out

[brutal-out-here]

One thing that I’ve thought about a lot over the years that I would just go straight to the source and ask about it if I knew I wouldn’t get met with either ignorance or some dumb reason is that to the people who believe that Taylor does not like men at all and that every relationship she’s had in her career has been a cover up to hide this fact, who do you all think the songs she’s written are about? Do you believe they’re made up stories or that they’re actually about other people we may or may not know about? I’ve always been curious because if some believe they’re made up then I think Taylor would have to be a damn good actor and a lier to pull it off. And to those who believe they’re about other people my question is why would Taylor let the blame for her heart breaks be put on people who didn’t do anything? Specifically I know there’s people who believe her and Jake’s relationship was fake and so do they just believe Taylor has let all this blame be put on him so much so that I’m sure it’s taken a hit on his career? (don’t get me wrong I don’t think it’s had that much effect but there definitely is some) Anyways I’m not going to tag this with anything so I don’t get jumped but I’ve been wanting to make a post about this for a while

[jjsanguine]

I've never had a white collar job and I'm also not a film analysis person so I've spent a lot of the time I've been watching Step By Step like, I don't know enough about offices to know some of the perplexing directions the plot/characters have gone in this show are what would naturally arise from working in such an environment, or if the writing + pacing are just frustrating.

I think the pacing especially is what's making the narrative just unspool in front of my eyes, because ferso I don't think you'd need to change any of the plot points to have a show that isn't frustrating.

I'm especially perplexed by how slow the slow burn was because Jeng didn't want to do a HR violation by dating Pat,,, only for Jeng to have been artistically engineering Pat's workplace success this while time so they would have more opportunities to hang out and Pat might like him back enough to want to date anyway. That seems like a a worse thing ethically them if they had just started secretly dating almost immediately like in A Boss And A Babe.

I'm not really surprised that Jeng control freak Kittipong would do such. But like what Jeng did to Pat by using his own money doesn't seem like a resolvable in one episode thing you get me. That feels like a ½ the runtime type of problem, it's literally the entire foundation of Jeng and Pat's relationship since Jeng knew Pat was going to be his employee.

Jeng + Pat's romantic relationship unspooled after only a few months 3 I think because Jeng refused to try to address or even talk about any of the exponentially growing number of obstacles to their relationship and Pat realised he's really not about that after briefly getting back with Put — which, controversial opinion, is totally fine actually !

Even Jeng + Pat's months long dating relationship being compressed into 2 episodes where basically all the audience sees is that they do a lot of unsubtle workplace flirting and have a lot of sex would be totally fine,,, if there were like 5ish episodes left for dealing with the fallout of that + how a second chance romance would even work when Pat's been burned by a controlling ex before. Twice.

Like *could* it take Jeng 2 years to really internalise that people get very upset when their agency is removed, given that it took him until he was in his 30s before trying to manipulate people like the wire stems in a bouquet of fake flowers ever blew up in his face quite so spectacularly? Yes. Is the audience going to see any of that journey? No.

*Could* it take 2 years of Pat working somewhere unaffiliated with Jian group, struggling with starting from square 1 as an intern, ignoring everyone's work advice again he's desperate to prove himself, especially ignoring Jeng's work advice because it's from Jeng specifically, taking Jeng's advice again because he's cooled down enough from the situation to not recoil from all things Jeng, to actually being open to have a relationship (not necessarily romantic one at first but just like, more than radio silence) with Jeng again? Probably. Will the audience see Pat's journey? No.

Therein lies the frustration. Premise good, execution eh.

[dallasstarsdyke]

im so good kisser coded but was born a bad kisser. injustices

[chelleisamazing]

So, update on the long distance situationship-- I'm so confused and frustrated about it.

Things we did:

Make out

Dance closely and suggestively

Speak about our feelings and other deep subjects at 3 am under the stars in front of the ocean

Let each other know we wanted to hook up

Swim and smoke weed in the ocean on our underwear at the crack of dawn

Things we did not do:

Spend more than 10 minutes completely on our own

Have sex

[sammythetoaster]

Where’s that one post about Vader trying to figure out who tf Han is that he showed up with Anakin’s son, Anakin’s former master/brother/father figure, Anakin’s stomach, and the droid Anakin built to rescue Anakin’s daughter?

AU where Vader survived and just. Follows Luke around and tries to figure out how the fuck to be a dad. And in his spare time, tries to figure out if he knows Han from somewhere prior to the first Death Star. (Because, like, at least 90% of the problems the Empire kept running into was from people or droids Anakin used to know, between Rex, Ahsoka, the trio, Obi Wan, other Jedi, or even his wife’s friends going and starting the Rebellion, yadda yadda yadda.)

Bonus points if Hondo shows up at some point, if for no other reason than to attempt ransoming Vader back to the Empire or some random ass shit, and Han goes ‘not this guy again’ bc he knows Hondo from some smuggling job that Hondo tried to steal his goods during or some time Hondo tried to steal the Falcon and Vader’s just like, “yeah, that tracks.”