#BECAUSE IM SO FUCKING DOWN FOR MATTHEW AS WILLIAM OKAY

[paper-lilypie]

nobody touch me

[henryscomfort]

Okay, I'm gonna say this once.

I just opened this app and I found some peculiar responses to the upload of my Red, White and Royal Blue fanfiction.

I quote:

"Did just make a gay movie str8 wtf ? I hate str8 girls sometimes"

And some

"Straight things is so stupid 🤢"

First things first: I NEVER made the movie straight, Alex and Henry's story is the same as in the movie, the only "change" that I made were those in which Adela and William could fit. —Actually, I adapted them to the original story just for stuff like this to not happen but anyway, you would pass out if you ever find out that in Wattpad someone made Henry straight—. Alex is and ALWAYS will be Bi as much as Henry will ALWAYS be gay.

I intended to make both back stories cautiously, embracing both Alex and Henry environments and ways of life so I could get to William and Adela to not seem out of place, to blend in all that. It seemed that you both only focused on them being straight and not in all the things that I explained in the introduction —same things that you should've understood through FirstPrince—

There's no way that I can take Casey and Matthew's work and make it "straight" somehow, if I ever do that, the history we know would lose all its magic and reason for being. I just made a freaking fanfiction, and if you don't like it that's not on me. I cannot force you to like something, my work it's published here so people who actually care about stuff like this could know the perspective that I found of this story.

I actually don't know who those people are —one of them sent me their KIND opinion anonymously— and I never intended to offend them.

But it's just as easy as it sounds.

If you don't like it, STOP READING.

There's no reason for the unnecessary negativity spread, you just wasted time on it, because far from bringing me down or making me feel bad, it just proved me that people always find new ways to show themselves as they are in such unfortunate terms.

And last but not least:

Yes, im straight and I actually give ZERO FUCKS if you hate me —I have to agree with the one who said straight things are stupid, cause some of that shit makes me cringe, not gonna lie—

Anyways, I will still upload my work here, for those who want to read it cause people on Wattpad seemed to enjoy it, so I guess someone will find it entertaining around here

(I think that at this point is necessary for me to clarify that I AM NOT HOMOFOBIC AND THIS IS JUST A DAMN FANFICTION AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THAT'S YOUR LOSS but anyways too tired for this shit)

[angeltrapz]

saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

[winnipegpatty]

OH YES! I want to know! Help me fall down that hole bc girl it IS a hole but im willing to jump in there for u 💐x

okay well first off, it’s just a lot of emotions for me. when you consider who kyle is and how he became GM. his relationship with william is always going to be different than his relationship with mitch or auston or literally anyone else who wasn’t william. because william didn’t go straight to the nhl like auston and mitch did. william didn’t draft with kyle as a GM (neither did mitch or auston, but that’s not important). See William was drafted in 2014 and spent two seasons playing for the toronto marlies (he played for the leafs too, but he was a huge part of marlies success while he played with them). Both Auston and Mitch (aka the other two parts of the so called ‘three headed monster’) went straight to the NHL and lit it up (i mean auston literally breaking records day fucking one). William’s career has never looked like that.

And you can go back in time to 2014-2016 when lots of people didn’t think william should have been in the AHL. he was young and smaller and people thought he should be sent home to play in sweden to develop there rather than in the ahl. because being in the toronto marlies meant that everytime william did great there were screams for him to be pulled up into the leafs line up which could have easily stunted him with being constantly pulled up and down in a two way contract between the NHL and AHL.

Now that being said in 2014 and 2015 seasons when william was a marlie, who oh who was GM, you may ask? Kyle Dubas of course. he was GM and Asisstsnt GM of the Leafs during William’s devlopment time with the Marlies. their relationship will always be different because Kyle is and has always been a players GM. and how much easier it must be to be a players GM as a GM of an AHL team than of an NHL team. the pressure is there, sure, and he’s still clearly being trained up to potentionally be leafs GM one day, but he had those TWO YEARS with william as his player in the marlies (one of his most successful players by the way!) that he never had with any other player really.

then fast forward to 2018, Kyle becomes leafs GM in May and William is a full blow maple leaf. and william is kyles first big contract negotiation as GM. and it’s a fucking shit show (not that kyle would admit to this because he was very Calm™️). William goes through the whole summer, unsigned, no new contract, they’re talking and Kyle OBVIOUSLY wants and needs william to sign. he’s a part of this “core” team that kyle is now building and hoping to win a cup with. and he’s got big contracts looming after this one too, mitch and auston. william goes home to sweden, the leafs go to training camp without him, preseason without him, REGULAR SEASON without him. Kasperi and others start filling his shoes and trying their hand at being Auston Matthews winger, and the team doesn’t suck. so then you have all of toronto’s annoying media saying “huh maybe we don’t need him, maybe we let him walk” (i’ll throw hands with every one of you). kyle flies to fucking switzerland to meet william and have negotiations and soon after william is signed to his 6.96 million AAV contract, cus he’s a dumb slut and i love him. And what the fuck did you miss that Kyle FLEW TO FUCKING SWITZERLAND to sign william. That’s not a normal GM thing. Kyle sees value in William Nylander when no one else in this stupid fucking league does (even TO THIS DAY because people talk about trading him but in response you see that other teams don’t value him either) and this is why i will ALWAYS love kyle.

people shit on william like he didn’t have a 60+ point season. people shit on him like he’s “soft” even though time and time again he gets in front of the net and makes plays happen while other people on the team won’t. he might not be throwing hits but shut up are we trying to pretend like mitch and auston do? pls. people want to talk like he didn’t show up in the five post season games, but he has points to prove he did. yeah he’s not auston fucking matthews but he doesn’t need to be. and while kyle is a players gm and at times he can be a bit TOO much of a players GM, he stands up for william and his worth and that’s important and good to me because no one else in the league is doing it!

[lannisterdaddyissues]

William, Baxter, Charles, Tom for the asks?

thanks for the ask @much-brighter-ink​!! these are some unexpected characters ooh!

william:

overall: who? / i hate them / i dislike them / kinda wanna fight them / they’re alright / i like them / i love them / *accidentally drops thousands of pictures of them* opinion: again, who??? / the purest bean / cinnamon roll / who knows really / sinnamon roll / the problematic fav otp(s): william/daisy should have won that’s all other ship(s): uhhh none?? but honestly william/thomas is a thought i may have considered more than once ok #noromo ship(s): idk..... crack ship(s): idk man he only lasted like a season fav headcanon(s): i love that he plays piano!!! i like to think he writes music and probably wrote a few songs for daisy which. breaks my heart now AHHAHA

baxter:

overall: who? / i hate them / i dislike them / kinda wanna fight them / they’re alright / i like them / i love them / *accidentally drops thousands of pictures of them* opinion: again, who??? / the purest bean / cinnamon roll / who knows really / sinnamon roll / the problematic fav otp(s): BAXTER/MOLESLEY OR THERE IS NO GOD other ship(s): that it but honestly she and anna would be the most powerful girlfriends and mother the entire household #noromo ship(s): her older sis/lil bro relationship with thomas is my lifeblood crack ship(s): baxter and bates lol idk why i just thought of it they’re both criminals...precanon au where they meet in jail and become fuckbuddies before the events of DA and then baxter and bates both end up at downton and its like :) what are u doing here :)))))  fav headcanon(s): i dont rlly think much abt baxter :(( but i love the thought of her having younger siblings or nieces/nephews that she is providing for or takes care of. and i love the wholesome thought of her helping molesley with teaching some lessons!!

charles:

overall: who? / i hate them / i dislike them / kinda wanna fight them / they’re alright / i like them / i love them / *accidentally drops thousands of pictures of them* opinion: again, who??? / the purest bean / cinnamon roll / who knows really / sinnamon roll / the problematic fav otp(s): LEADER OF CHARY (mary/charles) NATION other ship(s): lowkey im down for charles/matthew or also henry/charles #noromo ship(s): i dont really have any but i’d say charles and matthew for this too!! they’d get along swimmingly (matthew might be a little jealous bc charles probably wouldn’t hide his attraction to mary at all but hey a little healthy jealousy is kinda homoerotic right) crack ship(s): tom/charles i guess?? and u REALLY got me thinking abt edith/charles i hate u fav headcanon(s): u know me i love to daydream about him and mary eloping to go start a pig farm bc i just LOVE the idea of two spoiled rich brats falling madly in love after one passionate night of rolling in mud and deciding they’re gonna spend their whole lives doing it. but also i like the idea that charles is a younger son and something probably happened to his older brother(s) and he wasn’t supposed to inherit :( because he’s too humble to really be the oldest!!

tom:

overall: who? / i hate them / i dislike them / kinda wanna fight them / they’re alright / i like them / i love them / *accidentally drops thousands of pictures of them* opinion: again, who??? / the purest bean / cinnamon roll / who knows really / sinnamon roll / the problematic fav otp(s): tom/sybil makes me have so many feelings. and im gonna say smth u dont like but lowkey i shipped tom and mary in the later seasons I PROMISE THEY SQUICKED ME OUT AT FIRST BUT THEN THE SHOW STARTED SHIPTEASING IT SO MUCH AND I WAS LIKE OH OKAY??? THEY FUCKING BAITED ME other ship(s): tom/henry (car husbands!!) #noromo ship(s): tom and matthew ALWAYS. best bros forever crack ship(s): tom and edith’s editor idk lol fav headcanon(s): he’s left-handed and he is really good at math and accounting/finances stuff

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Take it out on me Part 4

A/N: Hey yall sorry this took so long I was away on a mini vacation and then worked bootkicked me in the ass. But here it is finally. I wanted to give you guys a part that was one of the better days for the two of them since people didn’t really like that he was always mean. So here’s a good day for you guys! I hope you enjoy!

I was waiting for the bus to get back to the arena so I could bring Auston home. He hadn’t spoken to me since he left and that really hurt. But I tried to ignore it and spent the whole morning preparing stuff to welcome him home with. I tried to make myself look presentable in jeans and a nice coat. I curled my hair too which was a fucking challenge with a broken hand but I somehow managed extremely loose curls. I made him his favourite cupcakes and a healthy stew that he really likes for dinner. I had cleaned the whole house to the best of my ability. I couldn’t fold clothes and I knew that wouldn’t go over well but I had tried. I didn’t do any dishes but that was because I got plastic forks and paper plates. The cake dishes were in our rarely used dishwasher. I hoped he would enjoy everything.

I saw the bus pull in and was shocked when I realized I was more excited to see a certain redhead than I was to see my husband. I had been talking to Freddie every night of the road trip. He called me every night to see how I was and just talked to me without getting angry. It was really nice.

The boys started piling out of the bus and I waited excitedly for mine to come out. William was first and he gave me a big hug. Next was Mitch who hugged me a little too hard.

“Mitchy be careful! I’m broken!” I giggled trying to break free from the death grip.

“What the fuck?! I’m so sorry are you okay?” Mitch asked letting go of me immediately. William smacked him in the back of the head. “Hey!”

“Good going idiot.”

“I’m okay Mitch it’s okay. Just hug nicer next time.”

“What happened?” Morgan asked coming in giving me a small hug.

“Oh ya know. I’m just clumsy. It was really nothing. Just hit it against the island by accident.” I said shrugging as they laughed. Auston was still on the bus which was weird but Freddie had just come off the bus and was walking over to me. He hugged me tight around my shoulders and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“How are you?” he asked quietly.

“Okay. I just had to lie to the boys about my hand. It’s hard lying to them.”

“I’m sorry you had to do that (Y/N).”

“It’s okay. How was the bus ride back?” I asked pulling away from him.

“It was good. Traffic was bad though so it was long. Auston just woke up when we got here so that’s what’s taking him so long.”

“Oh okay. Yeah I was wondering about that.” Freddie just nodded and we were quiet for a few seconds before he spoke up again.

“You look really pretty.”

“Freddie come on, don’t lie to me.” I said rolling my eyes.

“I wouldn’t lie to you. I genuinely think you look pretty.”

“Thank you..” I said blushing before trying to make a joke out of it. “I actually tried to look like a real human today.”

“Well you always look nice, it’s not much different than usual. You shouldn’t have tried so hard though, what about your hand. This couldn’t have been easy.” he said touching a curl.

“It wasn’t. I wanted to look nice for Auston for once so I don’t embarrass him.”

“There’s nothing embarrassing about how you look any other time.” he said meeting my eyes with a really intense look. I couldn’t maintain eye contact though and had to look at the ground. He cleared his throat before speaking up again “Well I should really head back home. I’ll see you later. Remember to call or text if you need anything.”

“I don’t want to bug you on your first night back.”

“Don’t say that shit. You don’t bug me ever. I’ll text you tonight.” he gave me a smile before leaving, waving goodbye to Auston. Auston saw me and walked over a little quicker.

“Hi love.” I said smiling at him.

“Hi.” he said with a big smile, putting his hands on my waist. “You look gorgeous (Y/N).”

“Thank you.” I said blushing.

“I love that you still blush when I compliment you..you’re so cute.”

“You.” I said reaching up to give him a lingering kiss. “Are you ready to go back home?”

“Absolutely.”

“I have a couple surprises for you back at the house.” I told him getting into the car.

“Baby that’s so sweet. Thank you so much.” he had a big sweet smile on his face while he looked at me. This was the Auston I had fallen in love with and wanted to marry. I missed him.

“Anything for you, love.” 

We started driving back and he tried to hold my hand but then realized the cast finally.

“(Y/N) what happened?!”

“I um..I broke my hand.”

“Baby girl how?” he asked concerned. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m just clumsy Aus, you know that. And I’ve broken the same bone before so it was weak. It hurts a little but it’s more itchy than anything.”

“I’m so sorry that happened baby.”

“Ehh, it was only a matter of time.” 

We were quiet the rest of the way home. It was not anywhere near as comfortable as it was with Freddie but it was fine. We got to the apartment and made our way inside. He took his bag to the laundry room and met me in the kitchen.

“Something smells really good in here.”

“I made your favourite!” I said turning to look at him and the table. I continued dishing out the food.

“You’re the best.” I brought him his food and turned to go back and get mine but he pulled me back to him for a kiss.

“What was that for?”

“I just really love you and I’ve been doing a really bad job of showing it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Aus. I love you too.” I gave him another quick kiss and then went to go get my food. I sat across from him and we dug in. “I’m sorry the pieces aren’t cut up very well. I was really struggling cutting stuff with my left hand..”

“That’s okay baby, no need to be sorry. It tastes great, it doesn’t have to look perfect. Especially not when you look perfect.” he added giving me a cheesy wink. 

“Oh my god shut uuuup.” I said blushing and giggling.

“Never.”

“Anywaaaays, how was the road trip?”

“It was pretty good, I think. I wish I could get out of the slump I’m in but that’ll come eventually I guess.”

“Auston of course it will. Everyone gets in slumps. I wish I could make you feel better and fix it for you. You’re still playing incredibly though, don’t discount that. You’re still helping the team win.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“If you weren’t there bringing the puck into their end and setting up chances for the guys the team wouldn’t be winning. You’re still valuable even in a slump. You’re amazing.”

“Thanks, that really means a lot and I needed to hear it tonight.” he said blushing slightly.

“Wow Auston Matthews blushing..crazy.”

“Stop.” he said covering his cheeks

“Cute.” I said smiling getting up and taking the dishes to the sink. Auston followed behind and wrapped his arms around me making me laugh. 

“What are you laughing about?” he asked quietly against my skin.

“You’re just so cute tonight. I can’t help it.”

“I just want to be close.”

“Well I always want you close so this is okay with me.”

“I know you do. Always so touchy.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not usually.”

I decided to not engage in that fight waiting to happen. I just leaned back against him instead.

“Will you help me put the stew into a different dish so I can put it in the fridge?”

“Of course. Go sit down, I got it.” I sat down watching him move around the kitchen and putting the food away. 

“If you look under that tray there’s another surprise for you.” I said smiling at him.

“You’re too good for me.” he said after getting a cupcake.

“I am not you ween. Do you like them?”

“Yes babe, these are so good.”

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

“I’d love to. You can pick if you want. I got us Disney plus so we can watch one of those movies you like?”

“Oh wow thank you Auston! Are you sure you don’t want to pick?”

“No you pick. I just want to be close to you and spend time with you. I’m going to do up these dishes since you can’t and I’ll be right there.” he kissed my forehead and I left the room feeling slightly annoyed but I didn’t want to let it ruin the night so I got into the media room and sent a text to Freddie. 

‘Aus is doing the dishes’

‘Well that’s nice’

‘It’s the first time since we got married last year that he has. He’s doing it because I can’t.’

‘That’s not so nice.’

‘No it isn’t. He keeps trying to bait me into a fight and it’s getting really frustrating’

‘I can see how that would be annoying.’

‘We’re having a good night and i don’t want it ruined but he seems dead set on ruining it.’

‘Im sorry (Y/N).’

‘It’s okay.’

‘Are you doing anything tomorrow? Wanna hangout?’

‘Yeah sure! I’d like that :)’

“Who are you talking to babe?” Auston said coming in.

“Just Freddie. We might hangout a little tomorrow if that’s cool?”

“Yeah that’s fine. Maybe he can take you to pick out something nice to wear to christmas dinner with my family?”

“Yeah maybe! I’ll see tomorrow.”

“Sounds like fun babe. Now can we please cuddle?”

“Hang on.” I said standing up and getting out of my jeans before sitting back down. “Now yes.”

“What the heck was that?”

“Jeans are too tight to cuddle in. I was tired of them.”

“You’re fucking hot.”

“No funny business Aus. Cuddles and movie.”

“I’ll try my best.” he said smirking.

“You’re a dork.” I put on my favourite disney movie and sat back under Auston’s arm. He pulled my legs over his and put his other hand on my legs. He watched the movie for a little while undistracted but then his hands started to travel. I ignored him when he squeezed my butt which made him stop for a little while. Auston was all about reaction when it came to stuff like that so not getting one made him stop. Of course not for long though and he started kissing my neck. It took everything in me to not give a reaction. He let out a loud groan.

“You need something babe?” he flipped me over so he was laying on top of me.

“Pay attention to me.”

“Come here you big baby.” I said shifting so he rested in between my legs and pulled him in for a long slow kiss.

[yunsangelic]

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen. 

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

“Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

 Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins 

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans

[sunriseskog]

Steel- Auston Matthews

Request: this wasn’t requested I’m just sad lol

Warnings: ANGST, cussing, cheating, dangerous behavior ?

Word Count: 1680

Notes: all i have to say is im sorry and that this is bad lmao// REQUESTS ARE OPEN

It had been a rough day. It had been a rough day and a rough week and rough month and a rough season and the last fucking thing you needed right now was to have to drive 30 fucking minutes to pick up your fucking boyfriend from whatever fucking club he was at getting drunk off his ass with his fucking teammates. You had nothing against his teammates at all, honestly, they were probably one of the best things to happen to you the past few months. You did, however, have something against them interrupting the bubble bath, Netflix, and white wine filled night that you had planned for yourself because they wanted to get wasted. 

After searching for a parking spot for nearly 10 minutes, you ended up giving in and parking in the overpriced lot 3 blocks down from the location William had shared with you 45 minutes prior. After just barely convincing the bouncer to let you in, with the promise of being out in under 5 minutes and the tactical unbuttoning of a couple extra buttons on your blouse, you walked through the door and were immediately bombarded by an overwhelming inner dialogue of ‘fuck this.’ The smell of sweaty bodies and overpowering drinks and suffocating smoke machines made your eyes water and your throat close up. Getting jostled by overzealous college douches and even rowdier businessmen, you finally made your way towards the VIP booths you knew the team had claimed by now. “Steph!” You called out, finally spotting a familiar face.

“Hey babes,” she laughed. “Aus said you weren’t gonna make it tonight. Everything okay?” She questioned, noticing the tired look on your face and the bags under your eyes.

“Ya hon, I’ve just been having the week from hell,” you sighed. “Where is Aus?” You questioned, noticing the distinct lack of the hard-to-miss love of your life as you glanced around the booth.

“I saw him head to the bathroom a couple minutes ago, want me to go grab him?” Mitch questioned, jumping into the conversation.

“Nah, I’ve got it. Thanks guys.” You left with a small wave and an appreciative smile, making sure to grab his jacket off the back of the chair.

You were starting to get overwhelmed again. The music was still too loud and the air was still too thick and the closer you got to the restrooms the more it began to smell like piss. You knew if you didn’t get out of here within the next couple minutes you were going to have an anxiety attack in the middle of the goddamn dance floor, so you moved quickly to push open the door to the only functional bathroom in the club. Upon opening the door you stopped being able to hear the music or taste the air or smell the stench— because that was your boyfriend. And that was your best friend. On her knees with his fucking cock in her mouth.

It had been a rough day. Most people in your situation most likely would have resorted to yelling or screaming or crying but at this point you were just…done. You backed out of the door, rolled your shoulders back, took a deep breath and walked back to the booths. The crowd parted much more easily this time around, in all honesty, it probably had something to do with the glare you felt overtaking your features. As you approached the table, you could feel Steph giving you a questioning look.

“You’re taking Auston for the night,” you stated, shoving the jacket into Mitch’s chest. “I don’t care what he does OR who he does for that matter— but I don’t want him anywhere near me. Tell him he can go back home in the morning. I’ll be out by then.” You could feel them both about to interrupt you, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, but you just shrugged off Steph’s hand and stormed out of the club.

“That was 7 minutes, bitch.” The bouncer called after you after you had thrown open the door. You threw both of your middle fingers up behind you as you made your way back to the parking lot. It may have only been 7 minutes, but it felt like a fucking lifetime. And in a way, it kind of was. Because there goes your fucking life. Upon reaching your car you felt yourself hiccup and just barely managed to grab onto the door handle before a sob wracked your body and you felt your legs wobble. After fumbling for your keys through your blurring vision, you climbed into the car and made sure to lock the door before letting your head fall to the steering wheel as you struggled to breathe through the tears running down your face. “Fuck. FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCK!” You screamed through the mess of snot and tears running into your mouth, slamming your fists against the wheel, barely even flinching at the sound of the horn ringing out through the garage. “…fuck.” Your voice cracked as the weight of what you had just witnessed hit you. You didn’t… you didn’t know what you were feeling. It was like, you had so much to feel and so much to process that it just… wouldn’t.

You slowly gained your breath back, feeling your shoulders drop. A few moments ago it had felt like your heart was going to explode out of your chest, it was so heavy and so full of emotion and so so unbelievably hurt and now you just felt… nothing. It was like whatever connections your heart had had, whatever connections you had had to Auston were just…snapped. You had been heartbroken before, at least you thought, you had gone through the crying and the screaming and the weeks full of sweatpants and ice cream and intentionally sad movies so that you could say that you cried about something other than yourself, but this was new. You had grown here in Toronto with him, and all the growth that you had made was because of him. You had grown while in love with him, you had grown to be someone he could love. You had moved here for him and gotten this fucking job for him, the same one that had been ruining your life for months, you had left your friends for him, you had left your family for him, you had left everything. For him. And now all of it had gone completely and totally down the drain. ‘more like down a throat.’ You thought to yourself bitterly.

“Alright, (Y/N), get your shit together. You felt things before Auston and you’ll feel things after him but right now you’re not gonna feel fucking anything. You have shit to do. Fuck him.” You lectured yourself in the rearview mirror, swiping quickly under your eye to get rid of any evidence of the fact that you had been crying. You maintained eye contact with yourself as you took a breath, cracked your neck, and steeled yourself. It was a routine you had mastered long before you had met Auston. It had come in handy a multitude of times. Dad packs up and leaves on Christmas Eve? Steel yourself. Mom forgets your 12th birthday? Steel yourself. Prom date stands you up for the first, second, and third time? Steel yourself. The first man you had ever fully trusted takes the heart you gave him and ejaculates it down the back of the throat of a friend you had spent 6 years prioritizing over yourself? Steel yourself. It was the only thing you could do.

And it worked. You put your “Fuck you” playlist on shuffle and began the drive back to the house you and Auston had moved into together 9 months ago. You were taking the corners just a little too fast, and entering the intersection just a little too late, but it wasn’t exactly like it mattered. Everything was fucked anyways. After making it back to the house in one piece— miraculously— you stood in the middle of the living room and took a deep breath. Steel yourself.

Packing up wasn’t hard, Auston was the one who had lived nearby, and you had only brought half a cars worth of stuff to Toronto. A majority of it had long since been given away or moved into storage to accommodate Auston’s preferences and you hadn’t really noticed, or minded, until this moment. Grabbing one of the huge suitcases he normally reserved for long stretches on the road, it barely took half an hour to pack up all of the clothes you deemed worth taking. You cleared the bathroom of all your toiletries, placed the little jewelry he hadn’t gotten you in your purse, and grabbed the emergency cash you both had agreed to stash in the bedside table, just in case. The cash was primarily out of spite, you had plenty of money saved up, especially after Auston had refused to put your name on the mortgage, eager to spend the majority of his annual salary to finally own his own house. After placing your suitcase and duffel bag next to the front door, you removed the house key from your key ring and placed it on the kitchen counter next to the locket he had gifted you 2 Christmases ago.

Calling your brother to inform him that you’d be arriving in Pittsburg early the next morning had taken 10 minutes, and calling your boss to let him know that you were quitting had taken half that, especially given the fact that you had hung up immediately after breaking the news, it wasn’t like you were getting paid to hear him yell at you anymore. Dragging your shit to your car and keying in the directions had taken 10 more minutes. Pulling out of the driveway and coming to terms with the fact that your entire life was in the backseat of your car and you were about to drive away from everything you had come to know and love over the past 7 years had taken longest of all.