#BECAUSE THE DRUNK PEOPLE WHICH ARE MY VIOLINS ARE TRYING TO SING ALONG TO THE SUMMER TUNE

[louhearted]

lads im in a mood dklgfhg someone come help me. ive just listened to the entire requiem and am now crying to the four seasons.

[monotonous-minutia]

Brief history of Les contes d’Hoffmann edits (the short short version) + Summaries!

Kudos to anyone who gets through all of this, but I recommend at least reading the first part if you plan on watching this opera next week for Operablr Pride Month. It will help you find/choose a version to watch!

For the differences in the summaries to make sense, we need a little background info.

The very very very short version of why there are so many edits:

Offenbach died before he could finish the score. Most of the prologue, Olympia, and Antonia acts were done; the Giulietta act and the Epilogue were not, which is why those are the parts that vary the most across the different edits. Additionally, much of the material that varies belongs to Nicklausse/the Muse. The reason for this is that the mezzo in this role cancelled last minute, and the replacement didn’t have time to learn the entire role before the performance, so the Muse monologues, Violin Aria, and much of Nicklausse’s dialogue were cut; the ending monologue was replaced with spoken speech. Since the premiere—which is another story for another time—several conductors, directors, and music scholars have attempted to reconstruct the opera based on Offenbach’s drafts and notes, and in some cases their personal preferences. Additional shoutout to good old Guiraud, who finished a lot of the orchestration that Offenbach didn’t get to, which is some of the only stuff to survive most edits.

Also, I should say: apparently in addition to there being no definitive edition of this opera, there’s no definitive history either. I swear every book/article I read about it says something different so this is the best I could do. So if there are any inaccuracies, apologies in advance.

Now there are a lot of people that have tinkered with this opera, but there are a few main ones that compiled what are dubbed “critical editions,” because they did a bunch of research and a lot of people end up using edits based on what they did.

In chronological order, those critical edits are:

Choudens: The shortest version, and one most people are familiar with.

Oeser (1): Longer with a lot of missing material added, also fairly well-known.

Oeser (2): Even longer with a ton of new stuff added! (My personal fave but pretty rare)

Kaye/Keck: Uses some of the material rediscovered by Oeser, but also adds a ton of other stuff, particularly in the Giulietta act, as well as re-orchestrating significant portions. Not many of these either.

and apparently there’s another one called “OG Offenbach” or something like that but as far as I can tell there haven’t been any recordings of it or much about what it looks like, but from what I gather it’s fairly similar to that last one, with some adjustments based on yet more new-old material discovered.

And, of course, every single production I’ve ever seen/heard puts its own spin on things! So while most have the general formats as seen below, literally no two are exactly alike.

A bit more detail on the versions:

Choudens

This is one of the first people to edit the material after it was butchered for the world premiere. It’s the short version of the opera with the most material missing, though to be fair he did improve upon what it had been before. His is (unfortunately) the edit most people are familiar with:

Prologue: Chorus of Spirits of wine and beer. Lindorf monologues about stealing Stella from Hoffmann. Students party in the tavern and ask Hoffmann to tell a stoy; he sings the famous "Ballad of Klein-Zach." When taunted by Lindorf about his love life, Hoffmann decides to tell everyone the tales of his Three Great Loves. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann is in love with the “daughter” of Spalanzani, his science professor, unaware that she is a robot. Coppélius sells Hoffmann magic glasses that make him believe Olympia is a real human, despite Nicklausse's insistence that she is a mechanical doll. Olympia is presented to the guests at her coming-out party; they marvel over her. Hoffmann serenades her and dances with her, but Coppélius arrives to take her apart, and Hoffmann realizes he’s been in love with a robot the whole time. Act II: Giulietta. Choudens put the Giluietta act second instead of Antonia. At a party, Nicklausse and Giulietta sing the famous Barcarolle; Hoffmann counters with an aria about how love is futile. Nicklausse tries to warn Hoffmann to be careful of Giulietta's lover, Schlémil, but Hoffmann of course does not listen. Dapertutto arrives and makes a deal with Giulietta to trick Hoffmann. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and steals his reflection. When Hoffmann realizes his reflection is gone, we get the famous Septet (the only thing I’m grateful to Choudens for). Afterwards, Hoffmann kills Schlémil  to get the key to Giulietta’s room, but Giulietta leaves with Pitichinaccio instead. Act III: Antonia. The singer Antonia is sick and it’s her singing that is killing her. Hoffmann, who’s been looking for her for months after Antonia and her father moved specifically so he couldn’t find them, has finally found her. They promise to run away and get married, but before they can, Dr. Miracle forces Antonia to sing until she literally dies. Epilogue: Hoffmann has finished his stories. Nicklausse makes the connection that all three ladies are actually metaphors for the real-life Stella. Hoffmann yells at him. Stella walks in on a drunk Hoffmann who mistakes her for his lovers; she leaves in a huff with Lindorf. Nicklausse reveals his identity as the Muse (in spoken dialogue) and asks for Hoffmann’s devotion. Hoffmann gets a reprise of his Giulietta act aria, but this time committing himself to the Muse and his art.

Oeser (1)

This one, which is also very common, isn’t Oeser’s *actual* edit but combines his with the Choudens one, so it has a lot more material than the previous one, but not as much as the longer Oeser version.

Prologue: Very similar to Choudens except we get the Muse’s opening monologue explaining their motivations (winning Hoffmann and saving him from Stella) before the rest of the action. Act I: Olympia. Pretty much the same but sometimes Nicklausse gets a different aria. Act II: Antonia (which here comes before Giulietta). Almost exactly the same as Choudens’, but Nicklausse gets to sing a lovely aria about love and art which is really a love song for Hoffmann. Act III: Giulietta. Pretty much the same, except it’s the third act instead of the second act. Epilogue: Starts pretty much the same, until the Hoffmann/Stella confrontation which is now put to music. Then we get a reprise of Klein-Zach followed by the drinking chorus, after which the Muse reappears. The opera ends with the Muse’s closing monologue and chorus about how Hoffmann’s suffering will make him a greater artist.

Oeser (2)

Pretty similar to the short Oeser version described above. The most dramatic changes are really just in the Giulietta act, though there’s some extra material in Olympia too (that one waltzy duet I’m always gushing about) and sometimes more sung material for the Muse in the epilogue as well. Oeser’s longer Giluietta act: Has the same basic plot points, except instead of going right from Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta to Giulietta seducing Hoffmann, we get a gambling scene where Giulietta serenades the guests as they play cards, during which each of the characters gets a little moment. Then Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, and she sings sadly about her dismal situation which leads into her seduction of Hoffmann, and the rest of the act ends pretty much the same, except sometimes there’s no Septet.

Now, on to possibly the wildest of them all:

Kaye/Kecke

This one is rare; there’s only a few recordings that even attempt it, and very few get it to the letter of what these two scholars compiled. Once again, most of the changes are in the Giulietta act and Epilogue; the only real changes in the previous acts are in the orchestration of some parts. Kaye Giulietta Act: Starts pretty much the same, with the Barcarolle and Hoffmann’s derisive aria, and Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta. We get a gambling scene here too, but it’s not as long or dramatic and Giulietta gets a different aria. Hoffmann kills Schlémil for the same reasons, but it happens before Giulietta steals his reflection; essentially she’s bribing him before she pretends to fall in love with him. Hoffmann gets in trouble for killing Schlémil, and in a fit of rage tries to kill Giulietta, but kills Pitichinaccio instead. Kaye Epilogue: It starts with a chorus for the students kinda trying to talk Hoffmann down from his crazy stories. We get the same Nicklausse-Hoffmann confrontation, and the one with Stella, and a reprise of Klein-Zach, but in addition to the drinking chorus repeating we get a kind of ominous reprise of the “Glou! Glou!” chorus from the prologue, after which the Muse enters and we get the same ending monologue but it’s got some extra pieces.

So the short short version ended up pretty long huh? Anyway, I hope it's helpful!

If you want more detailed summaries to follow along with when you watch the opera, see below!

More detailed summaries!

Choudens

Choudens is one of the the first critical edits of the opera and, despite the fact that it’s been discredited multiple times, is still inexplicably used a lot and is what a lot of people think of when they think of this opera.

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with his friend Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the song, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird. Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric saleman, enters and displays his various wares, including a variety of contraptions but primarily eyes. He manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalazani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for what she truly is and is

humiliated. Act II: Giulietta (Choudens is the only edit that has Giulietta second instead of third) Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria that gets reprised later for a different reason (keep an eye out for that). Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or "Sextet and Chorus"). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Act III: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to find Antonia for him. When the servant leaves to do so, Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that

Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him

two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann, only to find him dead drunk. He mistakes her for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. The students all leave and Hoffmann is alone with Nicklausse, who reveals himself to be the Muse of Poetry. The Muse declares her devotion to Hoffmann and asks for his in return. Hoffmann, hearing this, repeats his song from the Giulietta act, this time declaring his love for the Muse and promising to return to his art.

Oeser (1)

The short Oeser version is the other Most Commonly Seen edit (I think it’s about a tie). It's similar to the Choudens edit in many ways, with some significant additions, which are in blue below: Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to

join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia (When Oeser made his edit, he rearranged the acts to their original order, placing Antonia before Giulietta.) Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a

party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse, serenading Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist.

Oeser (2)

The long Oeser version (my personal favorite) follows the short one fairly closely; most of the major revisions are in the Giulietta act. This one is pretty rare—I’ve only found one video (which is a terrible production unfortunately) and one audio recording (which is the greatest audio recording of this opera that currently exists). New material in green text:

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius

enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance.

Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diablical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. She and Dapertutto join the card players. Hoffmann is losing miserably, much to Nicklausse’s chagrin. Giulietta serenades the guests with a song about love, not-so-subtly aimed at Hoffmann. We get a pretty epic chorus as the game goes on. [Sometimes we also get and aria from Schlémil about having lost his shadow.] Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, giving Nicklausse his cards and asking him to finish the game for him. Nicklausse protests and tries to follow Hoffmann, but Dapertutto holds him back. Hoffmann joins Giulietta in her room. Giulietta despairs over her feeling of being trapped and suffering. Nicklausse comes in and tells Hoffmann to get ready to leave and that he’s coming back for him. He leaves, and Giulietta tells Hoffmann he should as well, but he refuses to leave her. Giulietta tells him to steal the key from Schlémil that he uses to lock her up at night, saying if he does so, she will devote herself to him. Hoffmann agrees to do so and sings his aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus) [sometimes the Septet is left out in longer Oeser edits]. Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover, Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. She calls upon the Spirits of Wine and Beer, who she says have aided her in her efforts; they repeat their chorus and disperse. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but

will make him an even greater

artist.

Kaye/Kecke

the Kaye/Kecke version is the most recent critical edition and hailed by many as the most definitive (aside from that “OG Offenbach” one I can’t find anything about). There are actually very few “true” Kaye productions out there, but a few that attempt it. A lot of the changes are just in the orchestration and, in the spoken-dialogue version, a lot of dialogue; the vast majority of the plot and action stay the same. The big differences are in the Giulietta act. Again, I’ll use some new-color text (orange) to indicate differences between this and previous editions.

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). (also he sometimes mockingly serenades Olympia before his other aria.) Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve

the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards

Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diabolical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. (Here’s where the plot deviates, and the Oeser parts from earlier don’t appear at all.) The guests return looking for Giulietta, who sings a song for them as they play cards. Hoffmann gets distracted by Giulietta and gives Nicklausse his cards. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and convinces him to duel Schlémil to get the key to her bedroom. Hoffmann does and kills Schlémil. Nicklausse finds Hoffmann and, learning about the duel, begs Hoffmann to leave with him. Hoffmann refuses, wanting to see Giulietta. Nicklausse leaves to find a means of transportation. Giulietta returns and continues to seduce Hoffmann, who falls for her completely. She asks for his reflection as a keepsake; he’s helpless to resist her. Dapertutto returns; Giulietta relinquishes Hoffmann to him. Nicklausse returns as well, in time to find Hoffmann has lost his reflection. Once again he begs Hoffmann to leave, but Hoffmann refuses, still insistent that Giulietta loves him. The chorus returns, mocking Hoffmann for being duped. The police arrive to arrest Schlémil’s killer. Furious, Hoffmann attempts to stab Giulietta, but misses and kills Pitichinaccio, who is revealed to be her real lover. Giulietta despairs over his body, and Nicklausse finally manages to drag Hoffmann away. (There is no Septet in Kaye edits.) Epilogue Back at the tavern, the students sing a disbelieving chorus as Hoffmann finishes his tales, telling him to come back to reality. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down. He then encourages everyone (including himself) to get blackout drunk. The chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer from the prologue returns, creepily overlapping with the students’ drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song, mockingly dedicating it to Lindorf, before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. (Sometimes Stella gets an aria here, basically telling Hoffmann “you don’t know what you’re missing by rejecting me.”) Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist. (Sometimes the final chorus is extended, with comments from the other characters announcing that the future is his.)

And there you have it!

As mentioned before, there are a ton of variations on all of these. Choudens edits and short Oeser edits are often very similar, but even they will have random chunks cut here and there, sometimes move things around, and of course it’s always a toss-up which aria Niclausse is going to get in Act I and if he’ll get the Violin Aria.

If you got to the end of this, kudos. Seriously. I could barely make it through, and I elected to write the thing.

[itsthenovelteafactor]

Umbrella Patrol: Part 1

Still in a TUA headspace, and really enjoying Doom Patrol! I feel like there is a lot of potential for fun crossovers between these shows, and some neat parallels between them. Here are some very disorganized ideas because I’m too busy to write out an actual fic: 

note: these are primarily based on s1 of Doom Patrol and s1&2 of tua because I am still in the middle of watching Doom Patrol s2. I would love (love! love! love!) to chat with other people who like both of these shows, but know i am still in the “avoiding s2 spoilers” stage. I might do more of these after I finish s2, hence “part 1″

- they would not get along well in the beginning because, let’s face it, neither group has a very good track record for getting along well with anyone ever. (love them all to death) would a fight break out? probably. would all of the team members and powers and general chaos get so confusing for everyone involved that they would have to stop fighting to try and figure out what was going on? most likely. 

- Five definitely knows about the Doom Patrol from when he worked at the commission and was probably very relieved to not have been the person assigned to deal with the whole De-Creator/Re-Creator debacle. 

- Vic is probably at least aware of the Umbrella Academy because they were pretty famous as kids, but has no idea what really happened to them after except there was this huge scandal a few years ago when one of them wrote a book about how they were all secretly assholes? Something like that.

- Allison is a fan of Rita’s work (I’m thinking she played one of her characters in a remake), but remembers hearing that she was kind of a terrible person? She isn’t sure. I feel like it’d be awkward initially but they’d end up vibing and talking about acting and Hollywood and having the team braincell. 

- Diego: So... you’re a robot. Cliff: Yeah. Klaus: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!! Diego: Our Mom’s a robot. 

- Cliff is like “well, I nearly died and then the guy who I thought was my mentor did an experimental procedure on me that left me in a body that I’m uncomfortable with and feeling like a monster and a freak and I’m unable to interact with people and be seen as normal because of it and am also incredibly strong and worry about accidentally hurting the people I care about and oh, turns out the guy who I trusted and thought was my mentor turned out to be the worst person ever who was only using me as a means to an end” and Luther’s just “same hat!”

- There is definitely confusion around the whole “we travelled back in time to the 60s were not actually from then - can you imagine we’d be so old now?” and “we are actually from the 50s/60s we’re just long lived due to a series of horrifying experiments that were done to us wtf you’re all literally children”

- Dorothy sees Five and is like friend! My own age! And Vanya tries to gently explain that Five is mentally 58, he only looks 13 and that’s how they figure out that Dorothy’s actually over 100 years old. Somewhere in the confusion Five ends up agreeing to attend a tea party. 

- Klaus meets Danny. Enough said.

- But also,,, let’s say more because it makes me very happy to think about. Klaus meets Danny and just feels so at home and gets to talk about fashion with Maura and drag his siblings into singing karaoke and the Hargreeves get to show off their A+ dancing skills 

- TBH, they all try to explain what’s been happening with them and the Hargreeves all thought “well out lives couldn’t be any weirder” and then they hear about the puppet show and are just like “...okay, nevermind. we were mistaken. please continue” while for the most part the Doom Patrol are like “okay, butler’s a chimp, that guy’s in love with a mannequin, all checks out” 

- Larry and Klaus talking about their time in the military and dealing with homophobia. Larry and Luther talking about isolation and taking care of plants. 

- Vanya playing the violin while the Hangman’s Beautiful Daughter paints.

- They at one point get drunk and have a “who’s father figure was worse” competition but somehow halfway through it devolves into Jane and Diego each being that one John Mulaney bit (do you want me to kill that guy for you?? because it sounds like he sucks, and I’d totally kill that guy for you)

- Cliff definitely has some Robot-envy around Grace like, wow she looks and moves like an entire regular human wtf Niles? she shows him how to make smiley-face pancakes. 

- I have no idea how this would work logistically but Ben and Larry would vibe you can’t change my mind. 

- There was definitely some crossover between members of the Cult of the Re-Creator and Destiny’s Children (I’m not sure which one was first chronologically, but I was thinking about the one guy who was like “this is way better than last cult I was in” and how funny it would be if he was talking about Klaus’ cult) . I feel like Klaus and Dr. Harrison have a very weird kind of bond over it.

- Vic “I am literally asking for the bare minimum here in terms of heroics please could you all just follow simple instructions for twenty minutes so the world doesn’t literally explode” and Five just *acknowledging nod of mutual frustration*

- Mr. Nobody keeps talking about crossovers and some guy from My Chemical Romance. no one quite gets it.  

[erekuri]

OK BIG BRAIN TIME! Joker Game x BABYMETAL AU

For anyone who may not know who BABYMETAL is, they are a Japanese idol group/metal band with 2 (formerly 3) members. They are popular for the way they combine Japanese idol cuteness with heavy metal, and some have dubbed their style “kawaii metal.” Their music is amazing for real please check it out! 

BABYMETAL are loved in Japan and around the world, and they’ve met many big names in metal/rock such as Metallica, Judas Priest, and Dragonforce. They have choreography in their songs and their performances are really fun to watch :D

So, I was in the shower when this idea came to me. Since originally they had 3 members, I was thinking that the 160 cm trio of Miyoshi, Hatano, and Jitsui would be well-suited for this. BABYMETAL also consists of a band, so the other 5 spies would be in said band, and Yuuki would be the manager. So it’ll look like this:

IDOLS:

Miyoshi (center/lead vocalist)

Hatano (vocalist/rapper)

Jitsui (main vocalist)

BAND:

Kaminaga (drums/waidako)

Tazaki (keyboard/piano)

Fukumoto (lead guitar/violin)

Odagiri (bass guitar/cello/harp/acoustic)

Amari (secondary guitar/trumpet/saxophone) 

IDOLS:

By center, I mean that Miyoshi will almost always be at the center of their photos and is deemed as the ‘main member.’ (In K-pop terms, think of visuals and centers such as Yoona from Girls’ Generation or Kai from EXO.) He’s the member who will usually take the lead in interviews because he’s the oldest, though all 3 seem to have drunk from the fountain of youth lol. Jitsui is the main vocalist, so he gets the most lines as well as the high notes if the song has one. Hatano gets the least, but generally the line distribution is even enough that there are little complaints. He will also rap on occasion (think Linkin Park or Hollywood Undead) but most of their songs are singing-based. Hatano and Miyoshi will also do adlibs while Jitsui is known for his stunning vocal runs. Even though Jitsui is their main vocalist, Miyoshi is the one who gets put in the center of their dance formations more often. 

Ah right, their voices. (Since I am more familiar with K-pop rather than J-pop vocalists, they’ll be my main references here. My apologies in advance.)

Jitsui is the main vocalist. He needs a sweet voice to compliment his sweet face, but it’s also gotta be powerful. Ryeowook from Super Junior would be the perfect fit here, because it’s got this sweet tone to it but also nice and clear and the high notes would sound like a literal choir of angels. 

Miyoshi’s vocal color would be like Suho from EXO. Clear and sweet and comforting. His falsettos are the most flawless thing you’ve ever heard, and the emotion he puts into his singing is on another level. His voice is, in a word, PRETTY.

Since Hatano does both vocals and rap, I’m thinking his vocal color would be like Key from SHINee. With that higher tone he has, it suits Hatano’s appearance and personality wonderfully. Both his singing and rapping are amazing and he likes to scream sometimes to hype up the crowd lol.

(All vocalists mentioned are from SM Entertainment groups,,, damn, I really said SINGERS ONLY and I really like all 3 choices I made omg. MY MIND.)

(In the real BABYMETAL, member Su-metal sings the majority but I am not deep enough in the fandom to know how fans feel about it. I don’t mind too much since the songs slap either way lmao. And I think the balance is nice but that’s just me. However, for the 160cm trio, I had to even it up because I am someone who typically prefers more even line distributions when it comes to idol groups.)

As for their dancing, BABYMETAL’s choreography is a unique one where 1 is center and the other 2 are backup. For my AU, however, I’d make the choreo more like EXO-CBX in that it’s suited for 3 people, while also taking notes from Super Junior (for their earlier metal songs) or Dreamcatcher (for their famous ‘anime-style’ music.) 

BAND:

Because they’re a metal group, Kaminaga will almost always be on the drum kit, and by God he is good at it. The drum kit he uses is one you’ll see in most metal bands, but he also uses an auxiliary drum kit (which is electrical and has sensors and stuff) for the group’s more experimental tracks. When they want to go something more traditional or epic, he’ll bring out his wadaiko (traditional Japanese drum) and go at it. He’s also the unofficial leader of the band. 

Tazaki plays the keyboard. I personally envision Tuomas from Nightwish when I think of this position, but there are other keyboard players in metal bands out there that are fun to watch. Tazaki is generally a calm person, but when he plays he headbangs like crazy. He’ll play the piano when they do softer songs, and his pretty fingers are mesmerizing to watch. Oh yeah, and the keyboard he uses is a synthesizer due to the underlying ‘pop’ aspect in their music, considering it’s for an idol group.

Fukumoto would be the main/lead guitarist. He’d get pretty much all the solos (though Amari might join in as the secondary guitarist). He’s hailed as one of the best guitarists of all time, and he plays a major role in the musical arrangements of the songs. He’s also a prodigy when it comes to the violin, which he’ll sometimes use instead of his guitar for a more ‘symphonic’ sound. In reality, he’ll switch between them as he sees fit. 

Odagiri is the reliable bass guitar; underrated, but without them, the song just isn’t the same. As the bass player, he helps to balance out the guitars. He plays the cello when they want a jazzier theme or an orchestra kind of sound, and when they go the traditional route, in comes the harp. When the boys want to sing an acoustic version of their songs to show off their vocals, Odagiri will be the one to play the acoustic guitar to accompany them.

Amari is the secondary guitarist, and arguably the most versatile player in the band. He can not only play the electric guitar, but he can also play the trumpet and the saxophone. Their jazz songs would require them to be in the same song, but he can switch between the two easily enough, provided he’s given enough time to transition (otherwise he’ll simply use a pre-recording of one while playing the other live.) When a song requires both violin and guitar, Amari will take the role of the lead guitar while Fukumoto plays violin.

(The instruments mentioned are their main ones, though I’m sure they could all play more if they wanted to. I just don’t have the brain cells to spare for this lol. Maybe some other time I can give more thought to the band, but I’m ok with what I have for now. Besides, most metal bands will have 1 person per instrument or will bring in a whole orchestra, so what I have is farfetched ngl, and yet I like it because the D-Agency boys are just so talented at anything they try hehe)

OTHERS:

As stated earlier, Yuuki would be their manager. He is known to all as just “Yuuki.” He is the one who brought the group together, as the trio were originally part of an idol group but were mostly in the back, while the others were notable musicians who had no band to belong to. In his prime, he was an acclaimed songwriter and producer, but he’s also super happy doing what he does as a manager/producer for the 160cm trio and the band. He fought tooth and nail for the formation of this group and is more than satisfied with their explosive popularity. He will often clash with the CEO of their label, IG Productions, because he refuses to let them hold back the band’s growth. 

Now, y’all may be wondering… where is Sakuma??? 

Sakuma, Gamo Jirou, Yuriko Nogami, and Miyoko Yasuhara are all well-respected actors under the same agency (not IG but another one lol.) 

Yuriko and Miyoko are mostly in theatre, but Yuriko is a recurring favorite in J-dramas while Miyoko is popular in movies. 

Jirou is super versatile, and he’d be kinda like Robert Pattinson in the sense that he will often make fun of the stuff he’s been in. He likes to take on bizarre roles that test his limits as an actor, and his range is pretty much unmatched. He’s recognizable but people will still lose themselves in his brilliant acting. He is more often seen in movies, but sometimes he’ll star in a drama, especially one where he plays a villain/antagonist or a second-lead.

Sakuma is another J-drama favorite, and he has a legion of fangirls; as of late, those fangirls include aunties who love his clean and respectable image. He made headlines once when he shaved his head for a role as a soldier because it was such a shock that he looked as handsome as ever. He loves being in movies with a lot of angst/sad endings, and don’t get me started on how sad some of the dramas he’s in can be. And as a bonus, his characters almost always die and oof it really breaks people’s hearts. Occasionally, he’ll take on a more light-hearted role such as a friendly teacher. 

Sakuma and Gamo are both openly gay, and many fangirls will wish for them to find boyfriends because they want these actors to be happy. They have starred in movies together and their friendship off-screen can be considered ‘iconic.’ Fans ship them platonically. 

Sakuma would also be a major fanboy of the D-Agency band, and Miyoshi is easily his favorite member. He attends their concerts in disguise because he has a reputation, damn it. One time he dragged his actor friends along, and Gamo fell for Jitsui HARD. Meanwhile, Yuriko eventually starts a romance with the bassist, Odagiri, when she wanders backstage by accident on her way to the restroom. (Sakuma is jealous as fuck that she managed to get backstage but he won’t admit it.)

Alain, Marie, Jean, and Johann are all foreign celebrities, who are all wildly popular in Japan. Marie would be a popular actress who travels to Japan to participate in a film (directed by Jean, a highly-respected director) that takes place there. It’d be a collaboration project between a French studio and a Japanese one. Alain would be a famous pop artist in France, and his songs can be meaningful and uplifting or super raunchy and inappropriate as hell, no in-between. He goes to Japan because he’s interested in their newest idol/heavy metal fusion group. Johann is a talented lyricist/producer and he prefers to write songs for other people and avoid the drama that comes with being a celebrity. Alain drags him to Japan because why not?

END:

Back to the band, their debut song would be ‘Reason Triangle’. ‘Double’ would be for a J-drama collab in which Sakuma finally gets to meet his favorite group (???) idk but their discography would also include songs like:

Taking Off - ONE OK ROCK

Fukagyaku Replace - My First Story

Take Off - 2PM

Cosmic Railway - EXO

CORE PRIDE - UVERworld

Signal- TK from Ling tosite sigure

FEED THE FIRE - coldrain

Kyouran Hey Kids!! - THE ORAL CIGARETTES

And that’s all I can think of for this AU. I can’t believe I wrote so much but this idea just wouldn’t leave my head so I had to write it all down. I hope y’all enjoy my ramblings lol. 

[tsundanire]

Fireworks

FIRST OF ALL~ I want to wish the incredible @julcheninred the happiest of birthdays. You are the best, and deserve all the amazing things. 

Pairing: Drarry Rating: T ish Summary: When it happens, Harry sees fireworks Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21507754

Or read it below~

The path up to the new Malfoy Manor was paved in fairy lights and brilliantly coloured flowers. Harry’s face was covered—as per the masquerade invitation—with a mask made of black ravens’ feathers. Luna’s idea of course, as was the suit he wore, which matched his mask in that almost iridescent blue/black colour of the feathers.

She had suggested that going for something more muted and simple would keep him from standing out too much, and allow him to enjoy the evening as he pleased. Everyone else had gone for decorations out the wazoo, in bright colours and stunning embellishments.

The war had taken its toll on everyone in some way or another, and with the passing of the Malfoy patriarch, Draco had taken on the responsibility of restoring his family’s name. It had taken Harry by surprise, knowing that many of the causes he fought for and worked towards, were being funded and pushed by his former nemesis.

At some point, it had become easier for them to simply acknowledge one another and work together, rather than push for the same things separately. It worked in both their favours, as Harry’s reputation as the Saviour removed the black mark on Draco’s, and Draco was likewise able to introduce Harry to the right people with the most influence. Together they managed to build an entire sanctuary dedicated to the orphans of the war, funding for education programs for young witches and wizards born in muggle families, and other programs for young purebloods to educate them in a more muggle fashion prior to their Hogwarts schooling.

Looking back on the last year, Harry was extremely proud of all the things they’d been able to accomplish by working together; however, the victory felt slightly bittersweet in comparison to the lives they had lost during the war. What if they had worked together then? Would the war have ended before it had even begun? How different would things have been down the road?

“Harry, looking sharp.” Blaise offered his hand to shake, as Harry climbed the steps and crossed the threshold of the Manor’s double doors. He sported a stunning mask made of gold peacock feathers, and a suit that was mostly purple but with gold trimming all over.

“Blaise. Nice suit! Where’s Nev?” Harry shook the extended hand and grinned. The two boys had met during one of their many pub nights, when Harry had extended the invitation to Draco, who had then extended it to his own friends. It was their first test as possible friends, to see if Harry and his friends could handle being even in the same room with a bunch of Slytherins.

And while it had been tenuous at best, the group found that they all fit together in different ways, but ways that worked. Neville and Blaise had hit it off so well, in fact, that they had started dating and were almost completely inseparable.

“Oh, he’s around. Last I saw, he was chattering excitedly with Narcissa about her thoughts regarding the Horned Willow out back.” Blaise rolled his eyes, but it was evident that he was head over heels for the Herbology Professor.

“Right.” Harry laughed, shaking his head.

The two walked in side-by-side, watching as their friends and other influential people mulled about, dancing in the ballroom, chatting over snacks in the adjacent dining hall. They briefly spoke about a piece of legislation about to hit the Ministry’s hands, when Harry looked across the room and saw him.

At the far side of the room, beyond the dancers twirling about in a graceful waltz, Draco stood talking to some of his guests. His face may have been covered, but even from this far, Harry knew immediately it was him. It could have been the many years he’d spent at Hogwarts, questionably obsessed with the pointy git, or even the last few years they’d spent in each other’s close company. Regardless, Harry knew.

“And then I stuck a carrot up his bum.” Blaise continued nonchalantly.

“Wait, what?!” Harry rounded on him, but Blaise was laughing.

“Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.” Blaise slapped a hand on Harry’s shoulders, both of them watching Draco. “He is rather fetching in those robes, don’t you think?”

It was unequivocally true. Blue was—without a doubt—Draco’s colour. The robes themselves were made up of layers of different shades of blue, from the deepest of Royals, to the palest of periwinkles, and the shape was very suitable for Draco’s lengthy frame. If anything, he looked every inch the charming Prince.

“Yeah…Very fetching.” Harry found himself agreeing without realizing. And when he did, he stumbled over his words in a panic. “What I mean is-... You see-... Oh, bugger it.” Harry sighed, to Blaise’s amusement.

“It’s alright, Harry. Everyone pretty much knows already.”

“Knows what?” He looked incredulously at Blaise’s smirking face.

“Knows that you’ve been in love with him since, Merlin only knows when. A long time, at any rate.” Blaise lowered his hands, watching Harry carefully. “You’re extremely oblivious to your own feelings, let alone others’ towards you. So I’ll say this much to push things along, and put us all out of our misery of listening to you two pining over each other for another year.”

Harry blinked. “I do not pine, thank you very much.”

“Harry, shut up and listen. You aren’t the only one pining.” Blaise looked at him, expression so determined. Harry felt something was trying to be conveyed to him.

“Wait a minute…” Harry frowned, wheels in his head turning a mile a minute. He flicked a glance towards Draco, who’d finally caught sight of him. The smile on Draco’s face was breathtaking, as if Harry’s arrival was the thing he’d been waiting for the whole night, and now he was here. “Oh.”

“There it is!” Blaise laughed, his relief evident. “Well, I’ll leave you to it then. I think it’s time I rescued Narcissa from my boyfriend.”

Harry stood there, stunned and barely able to take in a breath. Some of that must have shown on his face because Draco started to look concerned. Harry shook his head minutely, as the song ended and the dancers applauded the band. Although another song played shortly after, Harry could hear in his head, the first notes of a different song altogether. Violins and a soft voice, singing in a bar because they were drunk off their asses and it felt like a great idea at the time.

The smile that touched his lips spread across his face until he was chuckling to himself. He started walking forward, gracefully through the dancers, watching as Draco’s face morphed from concerned, to perplexed, before it finally settled on joy when Harry arrived at his side and offered him his hand.

“May I have this dance, Mr Malfoy?” Harry asked with a grin. Draco knew how much Harry hated dancing in public, but took his hand anyway.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask?”

Harry shook his head, pulling Draco to the floor, and following in the steps of the dance with a strange ease he’d never had before. Perhaps it was because he was dancing with Draco.

“You’ll have to forgive me. I’m a bit obtuse sometimes.” Harry smiled, cheeks pink, and a slight fever running through him. Everything felt hazy and wonderful.

When the song concluded, Draco took the lead, and slowly waltzed them outside towards the back garden. It was a bit more private there, but just as beautiful as the rest of the decorated manor.

There was a path through the gardens that they followed, nothing but the glowing fairy lights and the moon to guide the way. They said nothing to each other as they walked, but their hands entwined together. Harry was caught up in thoughts, wondering how he’d missed so much, how long ago they could have started this. Draco continued to lead them down narrow walkways and through a flower-covered archway, hidden away towards the back of the garden. It was far enough away from the manor that they could barely hear the music—which had been hard to talk over when actually in the room. A large willow tree stood strong and beautiful, covered in brilliant lights, their own private alcove where Harry could see the sparkle in Draco’s eyes.

He felt Draco backing him against the tree’s trunk, fingers sliding behind his head to undo the mask.

“There… Now I can see those perfect green eyes of yours.” Draco murmured.

The blush bloomed beneath Harry’s cheeks, till he was sure he was glowing. He reciprocated, reaching up to undo Draco’s in return. The depth of feeling in Draco’s face made the urge to kiss him nearly irresistible.

“Did you know… you have freckles… on your nose?” Harry whispered as he leaned in.

Kissing Draco was like the end of life itself. His breath left him in a heavy gust that felt like surrendering his soul to the Gods. He’d always thought it was over-embellishing when people told him that first kiss with the right person was like fireworks. But as the sky above them lit up with bangs and brightly coloured sparks, Harry knew it was true.

[ashleyswrittenwords]

How To Be A Queen [Part 11]

Note: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I said no cliff hangers. I’m a liar. Also wtf this surpassed 40k words. It’s 85 pages long on my word doc. How in the hell.

Summary: Princess Zelda is at a loss. Her handed royal responsibilities have begun to weigh heavily on her and she is eventually backed into a corner. Live a life she loathes or run away from everything she’s ever known? Navigating life is hard, and Link forces her to learn that she doesn’t have to do it alone.

Warning: Cussing. Like big boy words.

Previous

Next

Part 1

How To Be A Queen

The few days before the festival flew by. Mrs. Harper had barely finished our gowns on top of the many last-minute requests from other Hateno residents. Anju and I were enlisted at times along to help with sewing. It was hectic, but I loved it. Nothing was expected of me other than my occasional assistance. Over the duration of this time, I had rarely bumped into Link. When I did, he asked what I was up to and was off again as quick as he came. Every now and again, I’d notice him hanging off to the side with that same group of men helping with putting together decorations or stalls for the festival. Sometimes talking with Aryll, other times being pushed away by her.

A boy ran across the courtyard in hot pursuit of a rooster while two other children trailed behind in fits of light laughter. The sun had long since set and a myriad of lanterns were lit around the village. Jovial music played from a makeshift band of young and old musicians alike. Some drifted off to join other festivities while others jumped in to fill the gap. The musicians hooted and hollered louder than their own instruments at times. The music never lost its beat and had been playing boisterously since early evening. I had never heard the likes of the tunes they played, but I could tell it could get the most sober man to clap along.

Which, incidentally, was what I was doing near the edge of the crowd. Sharla Harper had just parted from me to join the dancing throngs of people after our idle witnessing of her husband playing the violin with aggressive enthusiasm. Admittedly, I had turned down a dance with her and chose to become a sort of wallflower instead.

A thin-stemmed glass was pushed into my hands and Malon came into view. Her cheeks were red from alcohol and a smile brimmed her cheeks as she spoke, “Drink! We won’t be able to get free booze like this until Spring.”

“And without the judgement to boot,” I said, trying to match her enthusiasm and stole a glance around us. It seemed like everyone and their grandmother was taking part in the festival’s pleasantries. Not that I was expecting a castle ball’s scrutiny, but this was a completely different world after all. People were laughing, singing, dancing, and I was under the impression that they truly wanted to be here with their loved ones to celebrate another successful harvest season. I was out of my realm and I was loving it.

“You look like you’re having an amazing time and you haven’t even done anything yet,” Malon said, bringing me out of my thoughts. I shrugged and touched the glass to my lips, suddenly realizing I was beaming at nothing in particular.

“Have you seen him?” Her grin was almost devious and I took a small sip of the sparkling ricewine. It smelled vaguely of roses and the color was a matching light pink. “Who are you talking about?” I asked absently, my eyes were drawn to the band before meeting hers.

“Oh, don’t play coy. You know who I mean,” Malon’s voice was lowered as if anyone was eavesdropping.

I wrapped my arms around myself, the glass held lightly in my right hand. I spun a little, feeling my gown twist around my legs. I felt light and appreciate that the only layers needed was a bodice and a white slip. I admired how my drink wasn’t far off from the color of my dress and shook my head, “He probably doesn’t want to look after me all the time. It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?” The woman looked frustrated, “He’s missing out on the most beautiful woman in Hateno and it’s not a big deal?”

I laughed and rolled my head back to look at the sky, “You’re being ridiculous or are you talking about yourself? Because the latter would make sense.” The stars were glistening, not a cloud in the sky. It was like the goddesses blessed the night and were watching from above.

“I’m serious,” Her words were drawn out and she gripped her own glass tightly, “You look hot tonight.” I hid my smile behind the drink. “Thank you, love. You look gorgeous tonight too.”

There were a few men that hung around us. They stole looks at us and I felt bashful. I did feel confident in how I presented myself though. The gown Mrs. Harper had sewn together was perfect. The gown’s neckline heart shaped and was drawn tightly around my waist before flowing in an A-Line skirt. A thick lacy white ribbon was wrapped around my middle and a grey shawl was wrapped around my shoulders and tucked underneath my arms. It was very effective in keeping out the cold, but I dared not to stray far from fire pits that were littered throughout the square.

My shoulders loosened and I quickly realized I had downed the wine as I listened to Malon’s rambling. She gasped and took it from me, mumbling, “We need more drink.”

“Hm?”

“We need more drink!” She said quite a bit louder and turned. I lost her in the crowd and didn’t bother following.

Alone again, I turned my attention to the music and the dancers. They twirled and the partners parted to make lines, then moving through to find their partners again. The ladies bunched their skirts in one hand, laughing and stomping to the beat. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped.

I looked over my shoulder and expected Malon but found Link squeezing between a couple. His hair hung partially in his eyes from navigating through the crowd, then he looked at me completely and I felt like my world stopped. The space around us seemed quieter than before and all I wanted to do was hear what he wanted to say. The air felt suddenly so warm that I was almost wanting to take my shawl off.

He had opened his mouth speak but seemed to forget his words. Instead he looked at the band. So, I did too. Occasionally, I looked over to see if he would finally say something – anything. He wore a nice white long-sleeved shirt and he smelled like mead. It could have been anyone that smelled like that around us, but I supposed since we were standing so close it had to be him.

“Hey,” he finally said. Link wasn’t really making eye contact.

For whatever reason I started laughing. Something about the prolonged silence and the sudden greeting tickled me. I didn’t doubt it was the ricewine from before that helped fuel it. Link finally looked fully at me and a flash of confusion ran across his features. Then, he was laughing too.

“Hello Link,” I managed to say between giggles. He was just softly smiling now, not nearly as troubled as before and watched as I calmed myself down. “I’m sorry, Malon forced a drink onto me before you got here.”

“She forced you to drink?” Link asked, sounding worried. His eyes flicked to the faces behind me, as if looking for her.

“Oh no. No, no,” I put a hand up, “I was more than happy to oblige. She just put it in my hands.”

He seemed relieved and then grabbed my hand that I had somehow put on his chest. I don’t remember doing that.

“Do you want to dance?” He lightly rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb as if it was a natural thing to do. As if he’d done it before.

“I,” I had no idea what to say. “Yes,” I said, my heart beating quickly as I glanced at where the music was playing and back to him. His smile reached his eyes and I panicked, “I-I mean no.” My eyes grew wide as I realized what I had said, “I mean yes! But!”

At this point I’m sure I looked redder than the tomato pin cushion Anju’s mum uses.

“I don’t know how to dance!” I said quickly in a horrible attempt to recover. I must have looked like a bumbling idiot.

“You knew how to dance the last time,” he said plainly. “Zel, are you sure you want to? We don’t have to.”

“Yes!” I had the itch to fiddle with my hands, but he was still holding one of them. Why was I so nervous? It was Link. It was only Link. “Ballroom dancing is all I can do. Usually it’s only 1-2-3-4 1-2-3-4… but this is not ballroom dancing and I’ll look-“

“You’ll look beautiful.”

I stopped talking. Feeling that feeling in my chest bubble up again. I felt inexplicably happy. So happy, in fact, that my brain forgot to spit out words for me to say. He thinks I’m beautiful?

“And,” Link continued, shrugging his shoulders, “I’ll only dance with you. So, if you don’t want to, we’re both missing out.”

“That’s evil.”

Link nodded knowingly, “I know, but it has to be done.”

“I don’t know the steps.”

“There really aren’t any steps. Just follow what everyone else is doing,” he said, tugging on my hand. “If it makes you feel any better, it’s gotten to the part of the night where everyone’s too drunk to care.”

I raised an eyebrow, “How do you know the right things to say all the time?”

That toothy smile was back, “Trust me, it’s pure luck.”

He led us out of the audience. The music was even louder here and somehow someone snuck a drum into the group of already noisy instruments. I gathered my skirts in one hand like many of the other women and somewhere along the way either Link had let go of me or we were forced apart. Now I was sandwiched between two rather large women. I copied the swaying motions and found myself doing rather well. One of the women nearly tripped and the other started cackling. There was a weird box step and the group moved forward as someone on a fiddle played vivaciously.

I noticed we had separated into lines with lines of men and boys themselves moving between and finding their partners. Rather inelegantly a smaller boy bumped into me but held out his hands. I paused, confused, but crouched down and offered my own. His little fingers interlocked with mine and we did a small circle swaying dance. I laughed at his pink face.

“You’re a rather good dancer,” I said.

He looked at me in surprise but put on a brave face. “Thanks. Mum says so too.”

I looked up to see Link with one of the women before with an expression not too different from my dance partner’s. His eyes caught mine and I tried hiding my laughter. Link mouthed something and I shook my head, not understanding. A beat went by and partners separated and reconjoined. Link closed the gap between us and didn’t hesitate to interlock his fingers with mine.

“Hey,” he said again.

My lips twitched upward, “Hello Link.”

“I see you found someone else to dance with.”

“Oh, yes. He was so charming. He stole my heart and left just as quick. Didn’t even catch his name,” I sighed wistfully. The couples moved to form a large circle with another group making another inner circle. We happened to end up on the inside.

“Really?” He asked with a surprised voice, “I’m so honored to know that the next king of Hyrule hailes from Hateno.”

I studied his face. The shape of his eyes, the small scar on his cheek, the way his smile started out lopsided before evening out on his cheeks. I nodded slowly. “Wouldn’t that be something?”

He spun me around and I pursed my lips, “I don’t want a king, though.”

“No? What do you want then?”

I shrugged with a smile, “I don’t know. Kings are awfully boring. Instead, I want someone who can make me laugh and smile.” I thought for a moment, then nodded, “Yes, that sounds about right.”

He hummed, “So, a court jester.”

“Exactly. A dreamy court jester.”

Link laughed at my expression and we were pulled apart again. The cold air replaced where his warm hands were, and the same sequence of dancing went on. After what seemed like forever, I had snuck from the dance and into the chattering audience once more. I hadn’t seen Link in quite some time, so I assumed he couldn’t find me on time to make a convenient exit together. It hadn’t bothered me and I found Anju and Aryll by a food stall.

Aryll noticed me first and pointed me out to Anju with her meat kabob, “Lookie here!”

Anju lit up when she saw me, making me smile back. “Do you want some?” I agreed and she gave me her half of the stick. “I’m full anyway.”

I thanked her and hung on the side, vaguely listening to their conversations as I watched people pass.

“Does he dance good,” Aryll said with a mouth full of steak.

I nodded bashfully, not bothering to ask how she knew. “He can waltz well too,” I said, pulling a roasted carrot off and popping it into my mouth.

Aryll blanked, “Pardon?”

Anju giggled, “Are you serious?”

“Mmhm,” I swallowed, “During the winter solstice ball.”

Aryll started choking and Anju laughed loudly, trying to smack her friend’s back in a lame attempt to help. “Oh-Oh my. Get him. I want to hear more. A first-hand account by the man himself,” Anju waved me off, keeling over at Aryll’s expression.

I walked around aimlessly for a moment and found a stray waste bin for the now empty stick. In all honesty, I had no idea where to find him. He had just narrowly found me before but looking at all the people it felt like searching for a needle in a haystack. There was no way everyone was from this little town and from what I overheard I was mostly right. Many people came from more rural outskirts.

My eye caught someone walking out of the square. It looked like Mac, one of the first people we had seen upon coming to Hateno and he seemed close to Link. So, I made up my mind to follow him.

“I’m sorry,” a man cut into my path and I stopped. “Do I know you?”

I squinted in the faint light of a lamp. He was a middle-aged gentleman with graying hair, but I didn’t recognize him. His smile was sweet and gentle, as if he already knew the answer. I shook my head, “No, sir. I don’t recall. I hope you find the person you’re looking for.”

His smile widened, “My deepest apologies.”

I looked at him questionably and he moved slightly to the side, giving me allowance to move past. I felt scrutinized and looked at my feet as I left. Strange. Nevertheless, I saw Mac just barely disappear around a corner and I followed. It was quieter here other than the soft chatter of standoffish groups. Some merchants hung around; others began packing up. I suppose it was that time of night. I hugged my shawl closer and felt unsure.

Mac didn’t move fast and he held two pints of mead - one for each hand. He turned another corner and Toma shouted his name.

“-you took so long I’m basically sobered up.”

“You are nowhere near sober. You can barely walk,” Mac grumbled and I heard a clanking of glass. I stopped just before rounding the corner with him. It felt weird to barge in, I didn’t know them like that. What was I going to say? That I stalked Mac to find them?

As I was thinking about excuses I heard Link say something mildly insulting to Toma and I thought Kafei’s laughter was a warning for a heart attack. He wheezed so bad he started coughing. “You sound like an old man,” Toma quipped, “You got asthma too.”

“Oof. That hurts, mate,” Kafei coughed again to clear his throat, “At least the ladies think this old man is sexy.”

“You have exactly one lady,” Link chimed in, laughing at his own joke.

“Um, one more than all of you!” He shouted, “Besides I have a multitude of women in several other regions. A platoon. You remember when I went to Gerudo Town?”

“Yeah. When you were ten.”

“I was an early bloomer.”

“Does Anju know that?” Mac’s voice disappeared into the pint.

“This conversation stays here and if anyone else knows you’re all dead,” Kafei shouted, again. Even if they didn’t tell, Anju was bound to overhear all the way in the square.

“I’d pay money to see you fight Link,” Toma snickered, “500 rupees right now.”

“Link is a fucking knight.”

Link snorted, “I’ll let you beat me if you split it.”

“With how competitive you are? I don’t want to die young.”

“You’re already old.”

“I’m only two years older than you, fucker.”

There was a wide array of bickering between Toma and Kafei. I rehearsed my excuse in my head, ‘Oh, no. I’m lost! Wait, friends? Thank heavens I found you all. I was just so lost. Aryll wanted to talk to you, Link.’ Okay, no, that won’t work. That sounds worse than stalking one of them.

“Besides Link already has a girl,” Kafei said, “We’re obsolete, boys.”

“Shut up,” I could barely hear Link. I swallowed thickly, thinking about just walking away, but I’m sure they would hear a pair of heels on the stone. Perhaps I can take them off.

“Who? Blondie?” Toma asked.

“That one girl,” Kafei asked. There was a bout of silence. “Selma.”

“What? That’s not even close to her name,” Link chuckled. Toma began laughing unnecessarily loud.

“Zelda!” Toma shouted, “Her name is Zelda. I remember. She’s cute. I almost bedded her.” His words started slurring. Someone probably hit him because there was a light “Ow” that followed.

“She’s not mine, believe me,” Link said.

“What’s the color of her eyes?”

“Green,” he didn’t even miss a beat.

“You’re basically married,” Kafei clapped his hands together. “Congratulations.” I stared at my shoes and felt my face flush. I wasn’t supposed to be here. My hands felt sweaty. I should slip away.

Link didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Trust me, that will never happen.”

Kafei made a noise, “Why not? Why else would you bring someone like that here?”

“Her dad-“

“Yeah, I get it. Her dad paid you. But you could have taken her anywhere. Rito Village and see the aurora borealis, the tops of Mount Lanayru, the warmth of the Gerudo. Anywhere in Hyrule. But you took her here. I’m assuming this girl comes from money and she could have gotten a whole party of people to accompany her just like how every rich person does. But it’s just you. So, what’s the catch?” Kafei quieted down. I pulled at my fingers, feeling overly nervous.

“It doesn’t matter,” He sounded frustrated. I could imagine that he was doing that tick where he ran a hand through his hair and lightly pulled at it as he did. Link sounded annoyed and for whatever reason it upset me. “She’s just immature and wanted to do something her parents wouldn’t allow. I was a convenient solution. She doesn’t mean anything to me, not like that. Lay off, alright? It’s fucking annoying.”

My blood ran cold. What?

“You don’t mean that. You know that I know you don’t,” Now Kafei had raised his own voice, “It’s bullshit.”

“It’s just a job. Nothing more. I’m literally just walking her from place to place and getting money from it. Easiest gig I’ve had in 5 years. Are you happy?”

There was silence other than a sniffle. I quickly went to hold my nose.

“What was that?” I heard Link say.

Toma cleared his throat, “I’m sorry I think I had too much of your aunt’s chili.”

“Are you kidding me, Toma? I swear I should beat your ass,” Kafei said. The bickering continued and I took it as my cue to leave. My heart felt heavy in my chest. ‘I should have expected this,’ I thought repeatedly.

Anju found me before I did her. She was smiling brightly until she saw my face. “Goodness, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I knew I couldn’t smile to console her. “I think I’ll be off tonight instead.”

“Off?” She looked bewildered, “Off to where.”

“I’m not sure. Anywhere to be honest.”

She stared at me with concern filling her eyes and we later walked wordlessly back to her parents’ residence. They themselves were still at the festival and I felt a pang of guilt for not thanking them properly. She offered me a bag and I packed what little I had. The focus was getting out of here. I had gold and the clothes on my back. Anju packed what food she could.

Anju stood in the doorway of my temporary bedroom with my traveling clothes now clean and folded, “I won’t convince you to reconsider nor will I ask what happened.”

She set the clothes down on the bed and took my hands in hers, “However, when you go can I please tell Link?”

“I’m not so sure,” I found it hard to keep my voice steady. I couldn’t decide if I was simply mad or disappointed or sad. Whatever it was weighed heavily and all I wanted was to leave.

She dropped her hands and I frowned, “I think it’s for the best that I go alone.”

“Do you truly believe that?”

“No, but I’m trying to.”

Anju stepped out and I changed. With the backpack strapped, I followed her out of the village. There were plenty of people leaving from the festival and we didn’t stick out. Once we reached the outskirts I turned to her, “Anju, it’s okay if you want to go back. I don’t expect you to be out here in the cold with me.”

“It’s just that I don’t want to leave you,” she was tearing up, making me do the same.

I embraced her, “I’ll be okay! And you should be okay too. You’re one of my closest friends and I wish nothing but happiness for you.”

“Be careful. Whatever he said or whatever he did… I’ll kill him if you want me to, Zelda.”

I laughed tearfully at her comment, “It’s fine, Anju.”

“No, it’s not! Obviously not.”

I shrugged my shoulders, “All he did was make it clear that he didn’t want to babysit me.” I cleared my throat, “And that’s fine.”

She wasn’t too convinced but relented. “I’ll miss you.”

We said some farewells and I made sure to have her do the same with Aryll and Malon. Then, we parted. I had produced a map from my coat pocket, found Hateno, and traced my finger to the Gerudo region. I’d have to back track quite a bit before reaching a new trading route, but I supposed it couldn’t be the worse of situations. I thought momentarily of going to the Spring of Wisdom, Mount Lanayru was right here, but decided that would be awful in the dead of winter. Gerudo region it was then.

I had been walking for a half hour or so. I took my time, there wasn’t anywhere I had to be immediately. No one to keep up with and no one to listen to. I frowned to myself, his stories weren’t that good anyway. In fact, they were boring and dumb. Tears pricked my eyes. They were very dumb. I hated the fact that his absence gave me no solace. I went into this whole idea of traveling with excitement for my independence and look where that has gotten me? I should be excited. Eager, even. I was just a job, huh? Well, he should be relieved that I left without him. Hell, maybe Link wanted me to leave.

The tune of the festival music was repeating in my head. He had a stupid smile too. And I lied to Aryll, he dances very badly. A tear escaped from my eyes, leaving a trail that the cold air clung to. I’m not crying. I am not crying. I hated the way he talked and the way he’d look at me. Even the way he looks. Why not just add that to the pile too? Amongst it all, the thing I most hated about Link Forester was how he refused to get out of my head.

“Where are we going?”

I screamed and my neck nearly snapped off with how fast I looked to my right. I nearly started bawling.

“Why did you leave?” Link Forester didn’t even want my answer to his initial question, not like it properly registered in the first place. I stopped in my tracks. Link was staring at me as if he was angry.

“How did you find out so fast? How did you-”

“Anju is a bad liar. Why did you leave without me?” Link had frustration written all over his face.

My tears had dried and were replaced with anger. “Don’t talk to me like that. If anyone should be angry, it should be me!”

He looked taken by my outburst. I was too, my bottom lip quivered and I started walking again. I didn’t want to face him right now. He said enough and I didn’t want to hear it again.

“Could you at least tell me why you’re angry?” He sounded defeated, tired and that in itself riled me up more.

“You’ve been dishonest with me!” I threw my hands up. It was obvious, was it not? “I’m immature! I mean nothing to you and I’m just a job.”

Link didn’t move to negate anything. Instead he just watched my emotions bubble over idly. I bit my lip hard to stop from outright crying. “I would be fine if you had told me upfront that you felt that way. I would have accepted it and we would move on like that. It’s not odd that someone deals with me just for money. I’m accustomed to it. I expect that.” I put a hand behind my head, trying to find my words before speaking again. Slower now, partly to myself, “I didn’t with you. I wanted desperately to believe that you hung around because you liked me. That may have been my own fault. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He just kind of stood there and stared. He was still wearing the same clothes from earlier tonight, his shoes were changed into boots though and he had his sword strapped to him. He was refusing to look at me. I drew my attention away from him. Link’s silence only confirmed my feelings and I hated it. Something dawned on me and I drew in a breath. If he wanted Princess Zelda of Hyrule, he could have her.

“I want to remind you that you are no means tied to my agency,” I had found my voice. It was an odd feeling to speak to him like this. But it did make him look at me.

My eyes stayed on him and he seemed shocked as if it were news to him. It wasn’t anything untrue. I stood tall in my boots and tried to void any feelings I had for him. They didn’t matter, much less to him.

“What are you talking about?” Link said incredulously.

I breathed inward. I knew I didn’t want to say it. In reality, I didn’t want him to leave my side. He was a comforting constant that kept me situations caused by my own shortfalls… but for someone who didn’t want to be by my side by pure choice alone wasn’t right. Goddesses, I want to be selfish and tell him he can’t leave my side even if his life depended on it. I knew he’d do it. I resented myself.

“You’re bounded by orders, right?” My heart was in my throat. “In the beginning I told you that you didn’t have to come with me. My uncle may be general, but by birthright my words hold higher precedence than his.”

I paused to read his face. There wasn’t much difference, as if my words didn’t register. Link moved his head to the side, as if about to deny me.

Frustration built within me, “Look! All I’m saying is that you don’t have to be here! I may be your charge and you may be the captain of my guard, but I’m also the high princess. So…” I pursed my lips, struggling to find purchase on what I was trying to communicate, “So, you don’t have to follow me around and deal with – everything. You can go back to Hateno or go back to Castle Town if you want to. Tell my father I fell into the mouth of a crocodile, I don’t care. I’m sure he’ll be relieved.” My voice gave out and cracked, “I apologize for getting you wrapped up in my own desires. It was never my intention.”

“Zelda, you can’t-“

“I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to hear another lecture right now,” angry tears stung my eyes. I sounded completely outlandish, but Hylia knows I was in too deep. There was a painful truth in my ramblings, and the harsh reality in his eyes stared back at me. “Everyone I’ve ever met has expected something from me and it usually ends in disappointment. Save yourself the breath.” I couldn’t look at him anymore. Here we go. Oh, woe as me. I turned and started walking, halfway into a jog. You know, in one of my sappy romance novels in Castletown the girl had a similar outburst. Poured all her frustrations out and tried leaving. It happened several times, but he always stopped her. Got her to stay until they could figure something out. Something to patch up their issues.

But I wasn’t living a sappy romance novel. I let my emotions triumph my logic all the time and nothing good has come of it. It was pathetic and impractical to think that I would ever have something akin to that. No knight in shining armor reached out to stop me. For the first time in a while, I wasn’t followed either.

  I wasn’t sure how much time went by. I did know how much I cried.

A lot.

Anju had snuck tissues into my bag and I’ve never been more grateful for a person. I didn’t look back after I left him and after an hour or so I did. He wasn’t there, unsurprisingly. I was tired and wrestled with stopping, but I knew if I walked through the night I could end up at the stable in the early morning hours and a soft bed sounded much nicer than the dirt.

I wasn’t too sure about the time. It was very late and it was silent other than the constant sound of my footsteps. I had hummed a long-forgotten song earlier. It was hard walking by yourself I found. It was colder too. I had my coat of course and it was formidable against the temperature. But it didn’t compare to a person.

Against everything that happened tonight, I missed him. What was with bad nights and celebrations? What an odd streak of bad luck.

My ears perked up to another sound. A steady tapping? I knew it wasn’t just my sound. My eyebrows creased and my heart beat faster.

“Leave me alone, Link.”

It continued.

“I told you before to leave me alone!”

Again, it continued and I whipped around.

It wasn’t Link.

Note: Hey beech. So that was spooky. Who is it? Idk. We’ll see, I’m so tired.

[pengychan]

[Coco] Mind the Gap, Pt. 13

Title: Mind the Gap Summary: Modern Day AU. Tired of Ernesto’s snide remarks, Imelda decides to put him in his place and her husband is more than happy to help. It was supposed to be a one-night deal. Things quickly get out of hand. [OT3, mostly porn and humor. Plenty of instances of Ernesto being Dramatic, Imelda getting Sick Of His Shit, and Héctor trying to be the peacekeeper. Don’t expect anything serious.] Pairings: Ernesto/Héctor/Imelda Rating: Explicit.

Art by Dara.

[All chapters are tagged as 'mind the gap’ on my blog.]

A/N: Not much smut, lots art. And also Dante. I hope you enjoyed things going smoothly in these past few chapter, because that’s not gonna last. 

***

“You know it’s just for a few days, right?”

“Sure.”

“They’ll be back home by Sunday.”

“Mhhh,” Ernesto grumbles, looking away from him to fix his jacket, and Héctor rolls his eyes. Oh, of course he’s gonna be like that: he’s always like this when he’s denied something… or in this case told that no adult fun is going to be happening in his and Imelda’s apartment for a bit, due to Imelda’s brothers visiting. 

It’s not like we can let them know of this arrangement, Imelda told him the previous day, practical as always, and Héctor agreed… though somewhere in the back of his mind he did wonder if they’d really take it so badly. They’re young, both much more open-minded than their parents would be, and would know better than babbling; still, he understands and shares her decision to keep it under wraps. 

Part of him feels as though the arrangement works as long as it was kept in a bubble, only the three of them in it, no explanations needed or given. If asked to explain it to someone else, and put it into words… Héctor isn’t sure what he might find himself saying. Nor is Imelda, and Héctor suspects it worries her more than it worries him. 

As long as no one else knows, they don’t need to explain a thing. Not even to themselves. 

Héctor chases away the thought and glances over at Ernesto, who’s still frowning at the mirror. “Think you can stop pouting anytime soon?”

“I’m not pouting, I--”

“Héctor, Ernesto!” Armando’s voice rings out from behind the door, followed by a knock. He opens the door without even waiting to be told he could come in, a clipboard in his hand. “The room is almost set up. A few rehearsals, then we start recording.”

Ernesto makes a face. “Do we have to?”

Armando raises an eyebrow at him. He has unusual, dark green eyes, and Ernesto muttered once - thankfully out of his earshot - that there is no way he’s not into men and that, under different circumstances, he could get him in his bed within a week. Héctor laughed, but was very careful not to ask what he’d meant with that about circumstances. 

That, too - Ernesto has slept with no one else other than them for several months now - is something he knows, but chooses not to dwell on. It’s for the best.

Entirely unaware of his thoughts, Armando is speaking to Ernesto. Slowly. “... Recording is generally an important step in putting together an album.”

“I mean the rehearsals.”

A sigh. “We’ve been over this. The answer is yes,” Armando says, and gives a light pat to the clipboard, like a judge slamming down the gavel after uttering a sentence. “Don’t pout like that, I’m certain you’ll enjoy yourselves. It’s our best recording studio. We start in fifteen minutes,” he adds. 

As he leaves, Héctor is unable to hold back a grin. “You do pout.”

“Chingate.”

“Oh, you wish you could do that,” Héctor replies, gaining himself a shove - but by the time they start playing to warm up, the pout is gone. Then they start recording and Ernesto plays with so much energy, the kind he only has before huge crowds, and it’s enough to chase any lingering shadows away from Héctor’s mind as he follows suit.

***

“... Huh. What’s that cabrón doing in the courtyard?”

“You’ll need to be more specific,” Imelda mutters without looking up from her tablet. She’s having a look at potential places to rent for a proper shop - best to think ahead and look at the options, now that things are looking so good for Héctor and Ernesto’s venture - and has already bookmarked a few interesting ones, all pretty close to home. “What cabrón? Could be Chicharrón, Gustavo, the guy from the fifth floor with the sweaty hands--”

“Gustavo,” Ernesto replies, still peering out of the window.

As though summoned, Héctor peers in from the kitchen. He’s been cooking - he can cook very few dishes, but they always turn out amazing - and Ernesto’s chihuahuas are following him around, eyes huge and pleading for scraps. Imelda wonders when was it, exactly, that she lost the battle to keep them out of at least some rooms of the apartment. 

“Cheech is not that bad,” he protests. “He’s a good guy, deep down.”

“He threatened to beat you with his prosthetic leg last Tuesday,” Imelda reminds him.

“Very deep down.”

“Couldn’t one say the same of Gustavo?”

“No,” Héctor and Ernesto say at the exact same moment. 

“Gustavo is a jerk,” Héctor adds, and looks at Ernesto. “And you say he’s in the courtyard? Like he actually lives here? The horror!”

Ernesto rolls his eyes. “No, I mean, what is he doing-- he’s… setting up a cage?”

“... He’s what now?” 

Within a moment they’re all at the window, pressed together to fit. It reminds Imelda, briefly, of one time they all perched on the same branch outside a window to listen to Padre Edmundo’s drunk-like singing after root canal treatment. 

But back then, they had seen nothing other than the drawn curtains. Now they can see what Gustavo de la Jerk is doing, and he is… setting up a cage, just like Ernesto said. Before Imelda can even begin to wonder why, Héctor opens the window and leans out. 

“Oye, Gustavo! Decided to camp out?” he yells. That causes Gustavo to turn up, and scowl. 

“Oh, ha ha. You should thank me!”

“And why? For ruining the flower bed?” Imelda asks, raising an eyebrow. A few steps from him, the flower bed in question is a trampled mess. 

“That wasn’t me, I’m trying to solve the problem here! Some stray Xolo dog keeps getting in somehow--”

“A Xolo dog?” Héctor repeats. 

“Oh, of course you didn’t notice, señor Head Stuck In Clouds! It comes in, sniffs around, makes a mess of all the plants. It’s worse than the rats your amigo brought in! Yelping all the time!”

“They have to be loud, pendejo,” Ernesto snaps back. “Someone has got to be of service and cover the noises you strangle out of that violin.”

A furious glare, but as he and Héctor just so happen to be the ones with a record label contract under their belt, he clearly decides not to argue. Instead, he points at the cage. “Well, at least I am trying to solve the issue with that thing. I’m catching it and calling animal control. Which is something the administrator should be doing,” he adds with a scoff. For a moment, Imelda can almost sympathize: Chicharrón is the worst possible choice for an administrator, and to this day she has no idea how he ended up with the role. She doubts he remembers it, either. 

Of course, her sympathy vanishes the next moment he speaks. 

“And besides, I haven’t seen you trying to solve a problem. Remember when you nearly set everything on fire with fireworks?”

“It was just Roman candles,” Héctor mutters, but he does look slightly sheepish; to be absolutely fair, the celebrations for Ernesto’s birthday got out of hand. Mostly because they had to make up for having… completely forgotten about it. 

It hadn’t been their fault, not really. Héctor was hopeless with dates, and Imelda… well, to be fair she had never really needed to memorize it. Ernesto would always start babbling about his upcoming birthday weeks in advance, bragging about the size of the party he was putting together and which would usually result in a lot of drunk people with very few memories of the previous night. 

This year, however - before they got the call for an appointment with the representatives of a record label, when it had looked like their career in music might never take off the way Ernesto had dreamed and that he was about to turn thirty without knowing real success - he just… hadn’t brought it up. At all. And neither her nor Héctor had remembered it until they were on the other side of Mexico City to buy some supplies for her workshop; only then had Héctor realized, in a sudden burst of clarity, that it was Ernesto’s thirtieth birthday.

He’d felt so bad they had returned sooner than planned, with cake and some Roman candles, only to meet Ernesto at the gate looking absolutely distraught, with four cranky chihuahuas in their carriers who wouldn’t even look at him. He’d been about to have a chocolate cupcake, he’d admitted, when he’d left to get a lighter to light up the lone candle on it and the dogs got to it.

He didn’t know which one of them had actually eaten it, panicked, and taken them all of the vet where they were made to vomit it all out before it got into their system. Which had made for four healthy but angry Chihuahuas, and an even more depressed Ernesto.

Who, however, significantly perked up at both the cake and the Roman candles. Especially when Héctor held up the candles with a wide grin.

“Shootout?” he asked, causing Ernesto to finally grin back.

“You’ll regret asking.”

What followed was a full-blown fight, with fireballs flying everywhere, yells and protests - “not my hair!” - as well as grumbling from several people with windows facing the yard. Imelda wasn’t supposed to join it, but of course she had in the end and of course she had won. 

They returned to Ernesto’s apartment laughing like idiots, clothes and hair just slightly singed, to finally have the damn cake. And a sandwich, later. An Ernesto sandwich specifically, a birthday present he seemed to appreciate very, very much.

And all along Imelda pretended not to have noticed, on the small table by his couch, the letter his mother had asked Héctor to give him - still sealed, but not destroyed as he’d said he would. Maybe at one point, when it wouldn’t be such a touchy subject--

“-- And anyway it’s not like anything caught fire!” Ernesto is yelling, bringing her back to the present and to the situation at hand, before he slams the window shut. “Cabrón,” he huffs. 

Héctor, on the other hand, looks thoughtful. “A stray Xolo,” he mutters. “Maybe the one who followed me in the park?”

“Not impossible, I guess.”

“Maybe it’s looking for me.”

Both Imelda and Ernesto turn to look at him, taken aback, and Héctor seems to shrink a little, as though embarrassed by what he just said. “I swear it’s the one I saw in Santa Ceci-- ow!” he protests when Ernesto rolls his eyes and smacks the back of his neck. 

“Come on, we talked about this. There’s no way a dog followed here from Santa Cecilia.”

“That’s it, pendejo, that’s the last you touch me this week,” Héctor grumbles. He glances at Imelda, clearly looking for support, but this time she can’t really give it.

“Lo siento, but he’s right. Santa Cecilia is much too far for any dog to have just followed you,” she says, and her husband sighs, deflating a little. 

“True,” he says. “I guess it’s impossible.”

*** 

“Well, today didn’t go too badly.”

“You almost let them drive our car.”

“Almost being the key word.”

“Only because I was there to stop you,” Imelda points out, and Héctor grins, leaning in to kiss her nose before leaning his head down on the pillow. 

“Story of our life,” he mutters, and pulls her in his arms. She rolls her eyes, but rests gladly against him, closing her eyes. A couple of doors away, in the guest room, there is a yelp and a loud thump. They both ignore it, because you learn to ignore a lot of things when Óscar and Felipe are involved. 

“You’re not doing too bad at all,” she murmurs against his skin. “My brothers are a handful.”

“They’re fun.”

“They’re a health and safety risk.”

“But the fun kind.”

A chuckle. “You didn’t grow up with them. I have seen things.”

“I grew up alongside Ernesto, though.”

“Fair,” she mutters, and yawns. “Is he still pouting?”

“He didn’t pout, Imelda,” he protests, then sighs when she pulls back to raise an eyebrow at him. “... All right, he pouted a little. He probably got so used to spending the night here, I wonder when he last even changed his bedsheets downstairs.”

“A little too used to it. He could use a reminder that we are the married couple and he’s--” The third wheel, Héctor thinks, but Imelda doesn’t say it aloud. Still, there is something guarded about her tone now. “This was meant to be a one-time thing, and-- temporary.”

For a moment Héctor is sure she’s about today they went too far, that they must call it off, and it’s like a weight has been dropped on his stomach-- a sense of loss that is much like pain, and dread of what telling Ernesto will be like. But then she speaks again, and she… doesn’t say that.

“The arrangement is… unorthodox. However long it lasts, it must stay a secret.”

Well, no arguing there. “I know.”

“And my brothers are quite terrible at keeping secrets.”

“Like when they decided to dab into being magicians but couldn’t resist telling everyone what the trick was?”

Imelda laughs. “Sí,” she says, running her hand through Héctor’s hair. “Something like that.”

They say nothing more and lean down against each other, skin on skin, their breathing quiet. But Héctor doesn’t fall asleep for another while and, he can tell, neither does Imelda.

***

It isn’t that Ernesto is having trouble sleeping. It’s just that-- that-- fuck it, he’s having trouble sleeping.

He picked his bed king-sized for two main reasons: firstly he often had guests to entertain and, secondly, he just plainly liked having space in the occasions when he’d sleep there on his own. Now it feels… too big. He can stretch out his arm and meet nothing but the mattress, and it irks him in a way he can’t put into words.

This is stupid, Ernesto thinks, knowing full well keeping their arrangement from her brothers or… anyone else is simply the smart thing to do. I’m having a crappy night and I bet they are too. I bet they’re getting nothing done without me. 

At least he hopes so, because if it turns out they took advantage of his absence for fun he’ll be distinctly annoyed. 

His dogs being there with him - mostly on top of him truth be told, one of them sprawled across more mattress than he had any right to occupy - helps to some extent, he supposes, because Imelda doesn’t allow them in bed with them and you know what, her loss. 

This isn’t too bad at all, he tells himself, and he finally falls asleep late at night. Only to be awakened, much too early for a Saturday morning, by screams.

“Mierd--” 

Thud.

“Ow!” As he lands on the hard floor, his dogs starting to bark hysterically, he can tell that the screams are coming from outside and not, as it seemed, from right next to his ear. Trying to ignore the way his heart keeps beating somewhere in his throat, Ernesto throws his window open and looks out. 

Inside the cage Gustavo left in the middle of the yard, there is a howling, hairless dog biting at the bars and bouncing around, rattling the metal. Well, look at that-- he managed to catch the stray. Problem solved, now it would be for animal control and… and… aaand apparently Héctor had some objections to it, because he was already running out of the block and into the yard, followed by two gangly teenagers who could only possibly be Imelda’s brothers. 

“Ah-ha! I finally got you! I-- hey! HEY! What are you doing, Rivera??”

Oh, of course, he should have known this would happen. With a sigh, Ernesto looks up to see Gustavo’s head poking out of his own window, looking constipated as always. Before he can yell something at him, he disappears from the window-- only to reappear half a minute later in the yard, running up to the trap right as Héctor and the twins manage to set the dog free. 

“Stop that! I have to call animal control!” Gustavo barks, only for Héctor to turn and glare at him. The dog is in his arms, tail wagging and ridiculously long tongue lolling. 

“Well, good news!” one of the twins exclaims.

“We got this sorted!” the other continues. 

“So no need for animal control! Isn’t that lucky?”

Gustavo looks moments away from a stroke. “You can’t--”

“Adopt a stray dog? I believe I can,” Héctor replies, and walks back to the block, dog in his arms and twins at his heels, leaving behind a fuming Gustavo. His triumphant smile, however, wavers when he gets beneath Ernesto’s window and meets his gaze. 

Ernesto raises an eyebrow. “Looks like you got a dog,” he says, his own chihuahuas jumping up against his legs. “Congrats.”

“Er… thanks.”

“It’s not coming anywhere near mine, to be clear.”

“Look, I haven’t thought it that far. I haven’t thought a thing, really. And-- ay, Imelda. I have no idea how I’ll tell Imelda this,” he goans. The dog wriggles in his arms, licking his face, and Ernesto smiles. 

“Hold on a minute, I’m coming,” he says. 

A relieved smile. “Ah, thanks! I could use some help--”

“I’m not going to miss the scene.”

“... Cabrón,” Héctor mutters, and Ernesto laughs, getting back in to reach for his trousers. He can hear, faintly, the twins talking. 

“Maybe if you tell her he saved you from that guy...”

“Or a pack of rabid coyotes…”

“Rabid coyotes, in the middle of Mexico City?”

“Oh! I know, he pulled you out of the way of a road accident!”

“If you tell her we were driving, she’ll believe it.”

“You could argue she has a cat, so you get a dog.”

“Would be fair!”

“If we wash it really well before she comes home and put a bow on him…”

“Didn’t work with the fox, though.”

“Well, it did eat her parrot.”

“But we’ll think of something!”

Ernesto can hear his best friend sighing as they moved to the entrance. “Thanks, muchachos,” he says, “but maybe it’s best if you don’t.”

*** 

“... Héctor.”

“Sí?”

“What have you got there?”

Héctor’s eyes shift to the plastic glass in his hand, the other still holding onto the makeshift collar to keep a very excited dog from jumping up to Imelda and cover her in slobber. Like he’s already done to everyone else in the room, Pepita included, leaving muddy pawprints on… everything. “Horchata,” he finally says. 

Imelda says nothing, but her own eyes shift to the dog. Then to the pawprints. Then on the smashed vase by the window, the victim of an enthusiastic tail wag. To the door leading to the bathroom, where - she can guess - a very much unwanted bath resulted in some noteworthy devastation. Eventually, her gaze pauses on the three faces peering at her from the doorwary. 

Two immediately disappear in a well-timed retreat. Ernesto stands his ground. 

“I tried to stop him,” he declares. 

“No,” Imelda says quietly, and with utmost certainty. “You did not.”

“I told him I don’t want that mangy thing anywhere near my pups. Counts as trying to stop him.”

“He’s not mangy,” Héctor’s protests. “He’s naturally hairless.”

“And very, very itchy,” Ernesto retorts. With the dog furiously scratching himself, and then starting to bite his own back leg, her husband knew better than to argue otherwise. 

“Well-- we’ll take him to the vet and get him checked over,” Héctor mutters.

Imelda smiles, a sweet kind of smile that never fails to make Héctor’s blood run cold. “Good idea. And what’s the plan after that, mi amor?” Her voice is rotting honey. At the doorway, she can see Ernesto is shifting uncomfortably and shrugging his shoulders.

You’re on your own, amigo, that shrug says. Her brothers are, of course, still gone from sight. Smart boys.

Héctor tries to answer with a sheepish smile. He looks far too nervous for that to work. “Uh, well. I mean, he’s purebred. Maybe he has an owner, the vet can check if he’s chipped.”

That could be a good point, Imelda almost concedes, but she shakes her head. “If you believed that, you would have let animal control handle it.”

“Well-- I didn’t want to let Gustavo win this one!”

Another good one. Imelda has to give him that. “... All right. We will take him to the vet. If he’s chipped and missing, good. If he’s not, it’s out of our hands and this is final.”

*** 

“A fungal infection. Really.”

“It’s not his fault! And-- look, we only need to take a few pills. It’s not like he has rabies.”

“Could have fooled me, with all that drool.”

“You’ve never seen a rabid dog, have you?”

“And I don’t plan to. Hey, if my hair starts falling off--”

“It won’t. It’s not mange, Ernesto. Just annoyingly itchy.” Héctor scratches his arm. “Anyway-- no microchip. That means no owner.”

“And that means he has nowhere to go!”

“And that means the pound!”

“And then death, of course!”

“He could very well be adopted--”

“And he needs medication!”

“For the fungal thing.”

“Will they keep up with his medication at all?”

“I bet they won’t bother.”

“Other dogs will bully him!”

“And steal his food!”

“And he’ll starve!”

“But no pressure.”

“None whatsoever.”

“... Thank God the two of you are going back to Santa Cecilia tomorrow.”

No reply, just two identical smiles. Behind them, Ernesto is almost sticking a fist in his mouth not to laugh - good for him, because if he does laugh he’ll never get back in the same bed as her. Héctor is smiling at her as well, tilting his head to the spot where the dog is sleeping, skinny legs sticking out in all directions and, most puzzling of all, with a purring cat over his chest. 

Traitor, Imelda thinks, but with no venom.

“Pepita likes him,” Héctor points out the obvious, delivering the lowest of low blows. Imelda draws in a deep breath. 

“... A week at most,” she finally says. Héctor smiles even more brightly and ah, damn him, he knows how much she loves that toothy smile of his.  

“A week,” he agrees. 

“And in that week, you’ll find him a home.”

“I will.”

“A home that is not ours.”

“Of course.”

“And you will not name him.”

“Aw, but--”

“No buts. If you name a street dog, you never get rid of it.”

“All right,” Héctor agrees, placing a hand on the dog’s. “No name.”

*** 

“Paco.”

“What?”

“He looks like a Paco.”

“He does not.”

“Loco, then.”

“That’s marginally more fitting, but too similar to Lobo’s name.”

“Who’s Lobo?”

“One of my-- do you just forget their names?”

“I known them collectively as the Chihuahua Pack.”

“... Fair.”

“How about… Perro!”

“And here I thought songwriters need to be creative.”

“Pelón? Or Tonto.”

“Both fit.”

“How about--”

“Dante.”

“Huh?” Both Imelda and Ernesto turn to glance at Héctor, who has just wrestled something out of the Xolo’s jaws. He holds up a chewed-up case of some old videogame he’s been re-playing recently, the title - Devil May Cry - barely readable. He grins.

“I say we call him Dante.”

*** 

Officially, they never decide to adopt Dante. It just sort of happens. If asked, Imelda will say they are waiting for a good home to come up for him - never mind they’re actually doing nothing to find it. So Héctor makes sure no one asks. 

The threat ‘if he eats one single shoe so help me’ remains a threat, because he never does go after shoes - the few times he got into her workshop, Pepita jumped on his head and led him into a chase, and he lost interest. He chews plenty of stuff - including a hair product Ernesto left at their place once - but never shoes. He never quite learns how to walk on a leash and pulls like a train, but Héctor can handle it without flying off after him. Most of the time. 

The fungal infection clears up, he is allowed to play with Ernesto’s chihuahuas, and the empty box of the medication they all used is thrown away, along with the instruction booklet full of details they didn’t really read.

Because really - who bothers with those?

***

“I had an idea.”

Héctor’s voice is little more than a gasp as he lays on the mattress, still panting, Imelda’s head on his shoulder and Ernesto’s arm across his chest. It causes Imelda to lift her head to glance down at him - her hair tickles, making him squirm.

Ernesto, on the other hand, groans. “Whatever it is, I’m spent. So can we discuss it--”

“You two should sing together!”

“... Right now? We can barely talk and--”

“No, no, not now! For the album!” he protests. Ernesto lifts himself on his elbows, and exchanges a baffled glance with Imelda before looking back down at Héctor. He rolls his eyes.

“There still is that song-- we could still use a female voice for it? And Armando’s idea to do a cover of La Llorona to have among the songs, you and Imelda could do it!”

She blinks. “You’re joking, right?”

“I’m not! You sing well together. I’m sure Armando will agree!”

“Last time we tried, it didn’t work out,” Ernesto points out, like he wasn’t there to see it.

“Because you tried to sing over each other! Now you have--” he trails off before the words - come a long way - can leave his mouth. It is true, he knows that, but it would still feel like saying too much. Part of him fears what they have will be soured and lost if they speak of it, if they put too much thought in it. 

The part of him that longs to turn everything beautiful in his life into music aches, but he knows it’s not to be. Best not to look for words. 

“... You have a chance to try again,” he finally says. He runs a hand through Imelda’s hair, shifts a little in Ernesto’s grip. “Third time’s the charm.”

“This would be the second time.”

“So, one step closer to the third,” Héctor grins, gaining himself a roll of the eyes and a flick on the nose. “Come on, we’ll try here. Just the three of us. If you suck, no one else will find out.”

Imelda gives a small smile, then she glances at Ernesto, and it turns into a grin. 

“If he can keep up,” she challenges, and of course it is the only push he needs.

*** 

“Ay de mí, Llorona, Llorona Llorona de azul celeste…”

Ernesto isn’t sure who between the three has moved to dance first - they were not supposed to dance, just to play and sing - but at the moment he finds it doesn’t really matter. They dance easily across the living room, he and Imelda singing and Héctor playing his guitar, dodging furniture, the dogs and cat and all their toys strewn about in Imelda’s once-pristine living room. 

“Y aunque la vida me cueste, Llorona No dejaré de quererte No dejaré de quererte…”

Imelda steps forward, chin tilted and eyes ablaze; he meets her with a stride forward of his own,  Héctor twirls with one last strum, and as they come to a standstill. As the last notes of the song fade, the words - no dejaré de quererte! - echo in his mind for a long, long moment. 

Then Héctor lets out a grito, Imelda laughs, and Ernesto only joins her a moment later. He didn’t like Imelda getting involved with music last time - she’d been invading, he felt, what should have been something only he and Héctor shared. But now, he finds he doesn’t mind.

If things stay this way forever, he won’t mind. He won’t mind at all.

***

[On to Part 14]

[Back to Part 12]

***

Also by Dara: Doggie May Cry. 

[benbarnesescape]

To the End of Love

A/N: Sometimes I listen to a song and it inspires me to write about our dear Ben. This is for @padfootagain – she submitted this request literally a month ago and has been patiently waiting for me to update so here it is finally! Also I love the Civil Wars and think that Ryan’s voice would intertwine beautifully with the right vocalist, like this duo does well. This song is inspired by the Jason Cohen cover this lovely duo did, which you can listen to here.

Ryan pulled his hat over his eyes, taking one last drag of his cigarette before throwing it on the ground and stamping it out. He bent down to grab his guitar case, ignoring the light drizzle as he took a breath exhaling and looking into the dim club.

You were there.

He didn’t know how or why but you were inside, laughing and joking with friends, a glass of whiskey on top of the piano you were playing fervently, your deep soulful voice carrying throughout the small club.

He didn’t think you sang anymore.

The last time he kept track of you, on one of the few occasions where he checked the internet he had inevitably reconnected on your Facebook page. It had been a couple of months back and out of habit and memory he had remembered it was your birthday. He knew it was bad, tried to will it from his thought as his fingers typed out your name but he couldn’t stop himself.

He missed you. Always missed you but when he thought of your birthday, of the memories shaped around your special day and his mind began the deep dive of thinking of you.

He had learned that you had gotten your dream of getting into Berkeley in California. You were a business major with a focus in marketing. You had joined a business sorority and had organized volunteer events. Now you lived in an apartment with two other people. You worked for a prestigious marketing company in San Francisco. You liked to travel and, as far as your Facebook status was letting on, was single. Your smile was the same, no change in the way your brow furrowed when you concentrated deeply. You were the same and yet so different.

He had spent an hour going through your photos before he had decided he had to get away, go down to a city where he could escape from the memories of you. Caught a train and took it all the way down south to the sweet city of New Orleans. A place where someone like him could sing because it was true to him and people understood that. Didn’t worry too deeply about his next meal or place to sleep because the city was populated with drifters – forced out of their homes by the people like you – the ones who choose to sing their souls to the masses instead of their true beings. 

Like a drug, he wanted to spend hours singing and mourning after her.

So he did, deciding to go to bar he always went to and that’s when he saw her, laughing and drinking while her voice carried over the busy bar.

He had debated leaving. It would probably be smarter to leave what was to be.

Instead, despite his best instincts, he found himself walking into the packed bar. A few of the regulars he saw around the road were in tonight, laughing and singing along as he slowly made his way to a space at the bar.

“Didn’t expect to see you here Ryan.” The bar owner smiles at him, turning toward him as he gestured toward his guitar case.

“Plan on showing these young boys how it’s done. I can keep your guitar case behind the bar for safety.

Ryan smiles, nodding as he pulls out his guitar before handing it to the older gentleman who takes it tenderly.

“Let me guess – a Russian mule.” Samuel smiles and Ryan nods, turning back toward you. He watched as you finished your song, a man vying for your attention take you off guard as he threw his arm over your shoulders. You roll your eyes, obviously unamused with the man’s drunk ramblings as you walk to another part of the stage, checking out the guitars.

You had always been a talented musician. Probably had enough talent to become famous.

You wouldn’t have it though. It had caused you both to drift apart in the first place, old high school sweethearts that grew up in a small town trying desperately to claw out to freedom.

“Not like you to give too much interest to a woman.” Samuel says, gesturing toward her from across the room. “She’s a pretty one. Kind too.”

Ryan shakes his head, standing up and grabbing the mule, digging in his pocket for a few dollars. Samuel immediately threw up his hands.

“Don’t worry about it Ryan. You help out around here and never ask for cash. Drinks on me. Let me know if you want something from the kitchen, Eta’s back there. She’ll whip you up something nice and warm.”

Ryan smiles and raises his glass in thanks, his free hand wrapping around his guitar as his feet carried himself to you. He kept willing himself to walk away, to not get bogged down by the idea of you but his heart kept winning until he was inches from you.

“Y/N….” he says lowly and you turn, your hands already around an old guitar as you strum it.

“Sorry, was just looking through some of the instruments here….” You mutter before you freeze. He can see the way your brain works, re-collecting all the memories as your eyes widen, your mouth slightly agape as you take him in before you breathe out,

“Ryan?”

He gives a small smile and before he can registers you’ve dropped the instrument in your hands, your arms wrapped around his neck as you press your body into his and the whiskey drink sloshes in his right hand as he uses the left one to hug you back. And then, she pulls back and slaps him.

“Ow! What the hell was that for?” he asks, bringing his cold drink to his cheek as you cross your arms, shaking your head.

“You said you’d stay in contact when you left town. Said you keep tabs on me.”

“I did!” he says and you quirk an eyebrow. “I followed you on Facebook, checked in with the boys around town.”

“That’s not the same.” you say, your lips pouting in frustration and he chuckles nodding, placing his drink on his bar stool.

“Fair. I just….I couldn’t –“ he stops and you nod, understanding. He left and you didn’t come with him. You left and he didn’t follow.

He loved you and you loved him.

But you both didn’t go after the other.

“Sing us a song you too!” someone yells and she turns to the large crowd that has gathered around the small stage, your eyes drinking them in as he begins to mutter,

“No, no, no we aren’t –“ he begins but you shake your head, walking up to the mic and nodding.

“All right.”

You turn toward him, moving past him with finesse as you pick up the old guitar you have been admiring.

“We can sing a song, can’t we?” you ask him with hope in your voice, tenderness in your voice and he nods as you begin tuning the guitar.

“Of course we can.”

You walk back up to the mic, smiling at the small crowd, ignoring the whoops and hollering from a rowdy corner to your left, presumably your friends.

“I’m going to play an oldie but always a goodie,”

Ryan grabs a bar stool, leaning against it as his fingers dance over the strings as you continue. “For my oldest and dearest friend Ryan.”

He looks up at you as you adjusted your fingers against the spine of the guitar, strumming to the strings before picking up the beat you are looking for. Then, with your eyes closed, you allow the words to take over,

“Dance me to your beauty, like a burning violin,” you begin to sway as the words overtake you 

“Dance me to through the panic, ‘till I’m gathered safely in.

 Lift me like an olive branch, beat my whole world deaf.

And dance me, to the end of love. Please dance me, to the end of love.”

You turn toward him as he picks up the next verse, his melodic voice matching your tune.

“Oh let me see your beauty, when the witnesses are gone.

Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon

Show me slowly what I only know the limits of.”

You both pick up the single verse line, your voices harmonizing perfectly.

“Dance me to the end of love

Please dance me to the end of love.”

Ryan looks at you, forgetting about the present. Remembering how much you love you had for each other. When you were younger, your love had been built on safety and necessity. As time went by and you got a bit older it had been built out of circumstance. By high school you had both denied it, until one night at the end of a football game. You were fresh off a break up and crying to him before he pulled you to him and kissed you by the bleachers, a southern rain rolling through as your salty tears mingled with your tongues. You had both been inseparable ever since.

Until he decided to go. And you didn’t want to follow.

He picks up the beat, the melody picking up as you both turn to each other as you begin to pick up your humming, forgetting about the faces in the room. Forgetting about everything else except the other.

“Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above Dance me to the end of love Dance me to the end of love”

You both end the song, looking deeply into the eyes of the other before you turn to the crowd that is cheering and clapping.

Then you turn, moving off the stage, moving past your tables who are cheering louder as you bustle by. It only takes him a minute before he registers this. Then he’s on his feet, scrambling past everyone with his guitar still around him, depositing it effortless on the bar as he follows you out of the dim building.

The rain has picked up again and your standing there, hands wrapped around your body sobbing. He grabs your shoulder, turning so you’re looking at him and you choke on your words. Old feelings and insecurities flooding to the forefront of her emotions.

“You didn’t come back and you didn’t come after me. I loved you and you didn’t give a damn.”

His dark eyes watch you carefully, piercing into you before he bends down and presses a kiss down onto your lips. When he pulls away, his hands carefully placed on both of your shoulders.

“I loved you – love you - so damn much I couldn’t breathe. But I also knew I wasn’t good enough for you and you needed to live your own life.  A life that didn’t involve me. Because if you settled and didn’t do what you’ve accomplished - I couldn’t live with myself. I really couldn’t.”

You knew all of this was true. Knew it even though you hated that he was right. You watched him as you sighed out.

“So where does that leave us now?”

He smiles, a hand going to your waist while the other grabs your right hand. He pushes you closer to him, the heat from his body warming you up in the humid rain as he starts to move you from left to right. He hums, the faint lyrics of the song you shared carrying in the rain as he mutters,

“We dance to the end, my love. We dance to the end and see where it takes us.”

[casquecest]

Tagged by the inimitable @sl-walker, I present to you:

TWENTY FACTS

about me:  Nic!

The facts I’m about to reveal are not at all influenced by the ones sl-walker did

1.  I wanted to be a volcanologist as a kid.  It was one of my earliest obsessions, and I was especially enamoured with the eruption of Mt Vesuvius in 79 AD.  I was finally able to make it to Pompeii in 2007, and it was a dream nearly twenty years in the making come true.  I wish I had had more time to explore; I’ll make it back one of these days.

2.  I tend to mimic accents as I hear them.  I don’t mean to, but it happens (and now I live in an area with a very distinctive accent, so it’s kind of ridiculous), although I never really fell in with the St Louis accent (where I was born and raised), which tends to be a bit nasal and ORs magically become ARs (”I lived off highway farty-far a majarity of my life”).

3.  I was selected to be in the choir of the Missouri Ambassadors of Music in 2002, which basically meant I got to go bum around Europe for a couple weeks and sing in empty churches with a slew of people from all around Missouri.  Our time in Austria marked the first time I got slightly drunk in memory (two-year-old me apparently got sloshed on the last warm dregs from Budweiser bottles revelers left on the pool deck at a party.  Pure class).

4.  I used to draw and write every single day.  Not so much these days.  I should really get back on that.

5.  I was held up at gunpoint in 2009 while sitting on my front stoop in St Louis.  Consequently, I’ve no real desire to interact with revolvers again (I thought I was cool, but a month or so after I got robbed, I was riding around with my dad and he asked me to get something out of the glove box, and a gun came tumbling out when I opened it, and I was just <=o.  So, yeah, not as chill as I thought).  I crashed at my friend’s place that night, and we had an awesome photo shoot in which we dressed up as Soviet soldiers, and I played the world’s smallest violin for my plight.

6.  I was at Game 5 of the 2006 World Series in which the Cardinals won =D =D =D.  I slept on the outfield at Busch Stadium that year as well (and I went to Opening Day, too).  That was the year that Ozzie Smith sat down next to me at the bar, we chatted, and he said “[I] really knew [my] baseball.” 

7.  I��m wicked good with years (like knowing when things occurred, as well as when movies and music were released).  It comes in terribly handy at trivia.

8.  I lived in London when I was 20.  I moved there knowing no one, with just a suitcase and $2000 in traveller’s cheques, which didn’t go terribly far since the exchange rate was awful for someone coming from the US (but I fully recognise it’s a lot more money than most people have), and it was the best thing I’ve done for myself, while also being among the worst because I think I’m constantly trying to recapture the feeling I had there - the freedom, the possibility.  I’ve been kind of restless since, which is also a good and bad thing.

9.  I can pop my limbs out of socket.  Though my thighs don’t disengage from my hips quite like they used to, I regularly sit with my arms out of socket.

10.  When I was little, I thought you pretty much got to choose if you became a man or a woman.  Like, I pretty much thought that if I wanted it hard enough, I could magically grow a dick as I got older.  That, or in my next incarnation, I’d be a boy, and I couldn’t wait.

11.  When I was about five or so, my mum was watching me in the bath and had to pee.  It was the first time I’d seen pubes, and I was aghast.  “WHAT HAPPENED?!  WHY DO YOU HAVE HAIR THERE?!” “It happens when you get older.” “That’s gross.  It won’t happen to me.” “It will.” “No, it won’t.  I won’t let it.” I was also very determined that I would not grow boobs.

I grew giant boobs, and I have pubes.  Life has been a continual disappointment to little Nic’s expectations of her body.

12.  My first vague memory is of my Aunt Cheryl giving me a stool with my name in removable blocks on it when I was about one.  More concretely, I remember when my brother was born when I was two, going to see him at the hospital, and calling him “baby doctor”.

13.  When I was about four or five, we lived with my grandparents while we were building a house, and my grandfather would take us around the yard (which was huge - about five acres - and full of hills).  There was a tree in the front yard where I decided Alvin & the Chipmunks lived.  There was a large stump in the back, my grandfather pointed it out to me, and said, “That’s where I found you.” Found me?  What?  I hadn’t been lost recently.  I hadn’t been round that stump with Grandpa before.  What did he mean? He told me a tale of a dark and stormy night, and him finding a large egg sat on that stump, which he brought inside, kept warm, and a bit later out I hatched. I was livid.  “I DIDN’T HATCH!” “Yes, you did.  Like a little birdie” “NO!  I’M NOT A BIRD, I’M A PERSON!!!!”

I don’t necessarily know what that proves or means in my development, but I feel it’s indicative of something.

14.  My first car was a 1995 T-Top Camaro.  There was a lot of space behind the backseat that served no real purpose, so I would decorate it seasonally.  I loved the fuck out of that car, but, sadly, it was totalled in a head-on collision in January of 2001.  I’ve had my current car since April 2001.  

15.  Speaking of decorating things seasonally, for high school graduation, my friend gave me a life size Fabio standup, so when we moved into an apartment together two years later, Fabio came along.  We’d dress him up for every holiday, and he would stand guard in front of the sliding glass door that led onto a small deck.  Every time we would leave the apartment and walk in the alley that deck overlooked, we’d glance up, see Fabio’s silhouette, and it’d scare the ever-living fuck out of us.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  TIME.

16.  In 2006, I had an apartment with two of my friends, and, upon hearing Pluto had been demoted, we decided to drink to its memory on the fire escape.  We sang songs for it, but our neighbours didn’t appreciate our form of mourning and called the cops on us.

17.  I get a lot of compliments on my hair colour, but I’ve never been overly fond of it myself.  

18.  I was in a band in high school, and we made the cover of the local alternative weekly (The Riverfront Times, or RFT as it’s now known).  They put a copy of it in my high school’s trophy case my senior year.  I doubt it’s still there, but it was nice to walk by it on the way to lunch and be like, ‘dat me’.

19.  I’m a published poet.  I even got a trophy for my shitty little scrawl.

20.  If I’ve not been drinking, I sleep four hours like clockwork.

[mxscnx-blog]

           hiiiiii, my name’s adri ! from the gmt+8 which i like to call narnia . i’m trying to type this up quickly bc i was supposed to hop into the shower, then i remembered that we’re doing intros, so i’m leaving this post and am open for plotting 25/8 ! i’m really looking forward to writing with each and every one of you tbh. so please feel free to shoot me a message for plotting or to just chat and get to know each other. i do not bite ! . . . unless you’re into that ;) *coughs* anyWAY

          i can’t rlly say it was easy for me to even consider joining this group ?? mainly bc i haven’t been in group rps lately, and alSO i’m quite aware of how underused my fc is but tbfh i’ve had mason for 2 years or maybe even more ?? i see him differently in my head from his fc ( like baby-faced bradley cutie ) but i also couldn’t think of anyone else to play him, so i rlly hope i could do justice to broaden your imagination ! and he’s originally an indie muse that i love, mainly inspired by adam wilde from if i stay. but i thought i could attempt to give him a home here. so pls excuse me while i geek abt my son . . .

{ the virtuoso }

POSITIVE TRAITS: charismatic, experimental, eloquent, self-indulgent, peaceable, gregarious, venturesome

NEGATIVE TRAITS: brazen, fickle, flirtatious, skeptic, reticent, subjective, pessimistic

HISTORY:

triggers: prostitution, violence

his mother laura hart was a literal nobody who sold her soul for a living ( prostitution ). and it wasn’t until a drunk hookup that she dealt with an unexpected pregnancy alone *gives me a fantine vibe from les miserables*

she never would’ve thought that she’d give birth to a child prodigy-- which was all that she ever had. a charming baby boy that managed to climb up the piano seat and play the keys as if that was his purpose of living ( during a family gathering )

and while she came from a very unfortunate background, she could only assume that he got his genes from his father’s side ( while she didn’t have a single clue about who he even was )

laura gave little mason all the love he deserved. she went through several jobs just to provide for her child, making sure that he would always play the piano

as he grew older, mason never failed to amaze her mother even more. his passion for music was intense at such a young age, that he also situated himself with other musical instruments: such as the guitar/bass/ukulele, drums, violin, and the flute

when he was eleven, she met robert downey, a mysterious man in the working class, and they fell in love. but it took a while for mason to adjust since his mother was the most important person in the world for him. and it didn’t help that they eventually had household arguments, just like every other couple. but there was no denying that their relationship was toxic, and mason clearly acknowledged that

mason would defend her with every chance he gets. it came to a point where robert stabbed him with a kitchen knife, that had him sent to the er and almost took his life. luckily he survived the critical injury, though the scar had remained below his right collarbone

love can really work in the strangest ways, because even after almost murdering her son, laura still gave robert a second chance. but the scar haunted him forever, and it was no surprise that mason, too, had been holding a grudge. though robert was no longer violent, proving that even the worst people can change for love

but mason never had a consistent relationship with his “father figure”. if they weren’t at each other’s throats, they were being civil for the sake of his mother, or perhaps pretending to like each other. he was always skeptic of robert that he never knew what it would be like to actually be taken care of by him

due to the rollercoaster of events between his mother and his so-called father, mason refused to believe that love ever existed ( with the only exception of the unconditional love for his mother ). he has extremely pessimistic views about anything else about love, and as he grew into his teenage years, he was gaining trust issues and refused to commit or open his heart to anyone

but !!! robert and laura got married when he was around 13 ?? and their household has been blessed with his five younger siblings: mikayla ( 2 ), katie ( 3 ), toby ( 4 ), ashley ( 5 ), and stanley ( 6 )

he’s tried to be the best big brother ever that he almost has no love left for anyone outside his family. tho the tension with robert was still there ( it never leaves )

his entire life revolves around his family ( most importantly his mother and his siblings ), music, manipulation, and avoiding his feelings as much as possible. he loves to compose music as much as he loves to write songs. music is a very powerful thing to him

flash forward to the days he was absolutely driven with classical music and piano recitals, until society had eaten him up and influenced him with rock concerts and also, might have acquired a talent of singing along the way

PERSONALITY:

he’s honestly a smooth talker, maNIPULATIVE af and absolutely laid-back. he causes conflict due to his arrogance and close-mindedness but also knows how to swerve away from it ??

he can do anything and still be charming. it’s like he always has a stick up his ass ?? but in a way that he always knows how to present himself without seeming too embarrassing nor afraid

kind of a paradox bc he’s very competitive and determined but he also reacts like it’s no big deal to him and like everything seems so effortless ?? ( but rlly it’s not )

if he doesn’t like you enough, he can be very blunt and straightforward. but his primary virtue is patience, and believe me he has a ton of it

he can literally flirt with anyone or anything that moves and knows the right words and actions to make someone feel like they’re the only person in the world to him

99% of the time he’s geeking about music and gets along best with those who are as musically-inclined or as enthusiastic with music as he does

he’s the life of the party. hates sports. hates theories. very practical. only graduated high school bc he doesn’t rlly believe college would do him any good. ESTP af. organized mess.

along the way of partying too hard and bottling all his feelings, he greatly relies on alcohol and sleeping around with people ( he’s pansexual btw )

he’s a crowd favorite and rlly knows how to put on a great show

he knows his priorities and is absolutely independent. as much as possible, he tends to have no strings attached

he has a long way to go regarding character development . . .

pls help

WANTED CONNECTIONS: details will vary bc my brain is always cooking up a storm

childhood sweetheart/skinny love *someone messaged me abt this but like it hasn’t been finalized*

current best friend

flirtationship ;)

cute friends ( fluffy platonic fun ! )

ultimate rivals

fake dating for publicity

friends w benefits

enemies w benefits ??

others ! tbh i’ll still set up his connections page

but if u have something in mind PLS let me know thank u xo

*breathes heavily* plslslslslslsls plot with me i’ll love u down so hard ok

THANK U SM FOR READING. I AM V EXCITED OKAY 

[dreamsanddreams88]

Dream dump

Super messed up dream where alex cheated with my mom!!! She was gone for a trip and came back and admitted it to me like it was an accident. My dad didnt care. Also alex had just become my step brother or step cousin cuz his dad got married to like my aunt? Anyway I worked with jenn and izzy and they knew. I ate a bag if chex mix and yelled at them.

Matt n anne had reception or wedding, family was super rude af so he told me to make thank you notes only for specific people. Then I was in Little witch academia, brooms were malfunctioning because they were made by Elon Musk. We left his mansion and flew around under these power poles that were arcing and letting off electricity. I was in the forest and ran down this steep hill with dead and falling trees in the night. I ran to the work lockup and homeless guys started appearing and following me, flew away on my broom.

Was staying at this haunted old mansion. My mom might have used to live there? I was in a room with 3 fireplaces going, tried to put them out. Then in bathroom when a door to the laundry kept opening by itself, very creepy. Then I was there with a whole class, everyone had submitted a drawing of a bio of themselves but no one told me cuz hadn't worked with a group. One girl there I was really jealous of, she was like Linnea and Tedi combined. Her drawing was of her with a black person saying stuff about equality, but her bio also said she was a cheerleader so I was like, that's how shes so good at being social

Dreamed I had been moved into a group home cuz of mental health, but then got into some school or university with some elite girl dorm or sorority? Idk I went from one group in a nice house to a really big group in dorm style room with bunk beds. Girls were all really cool, Kaitlyn corkery was there and didnt remember me. Thought she was gonna be stuck up but she wanted to hang out. Went to some event or meal, lots of people drunk, maybe it was winter with ice skating? Brought Alex's skateboard. Courtney anderson got kicked out of our group, tried to be soothing but she was reading one of my cover letters and crying that she didnt have the experience.

Dreamed I was still dating elliot but wanted to dump him for alex, but I was also flirting/making out w Nina who was also Jennifer Lawrence at the same time? I felt really shitty and hadn't spoken to eliot for days and days, also Sirius black was his godfather and had just died. Went to the Porters house which was this big historic place everyone hung out. Then was looking for bats and a camping spot with work crew. Wanted to drive to moquoketa caves but it was late at night. Texted olivia hottle about her being pregnant all the time? Also Lauren showed up and was trying to show me something or be a nice sister to me

I was in a book store looking at the manga and comics and there was huge section on aadams family, apparently started in 20s by same guy as Opus? First book had goth lady dating a cute penguin, named Alice Walker. Movie made about it, she was Greek orthodox and family was mad she was wearing socks instead of hose, then woke up

Tourmaline came over, she forgot my name. Had asked someone 2 sing her a lullaby on FB and I almost did but then mad she forgot my name. She went by They also, forgot when introducing her to parents. She started making hot dogs in our kitchen, burnt them in oven. Smthn bout Davin being my step grandpa somehow? Then at this family reunion, big neighbors house was a muppet face that talked. King bumi was there testing our bending, I was the avatar but didnt know firebending yet, dodged him with water and air. He threw rocks and kids tried to find them, I knew he was gonna hang onto one. Let a little toddler have it instead and win his contest. Then back in high school at lunch, everyone outside. Couldn't find friends, saw Nate and elliot doing hackey sack but didnt want to be around them. Went looking for allison Richmond?

Rly scary, ppl were in black mirror-esque simulation where I kept dying but could come back to choose different choice and keep going. Mine was at reunion party with Ellen, not eating weird toadstool. Alex was in a mansion party, people there drank this mix of sodas that turned them into fast zombies, his doc warned him to hide but they found him in a few different places. In one, he found vaccine to it and put a boy to sleep, I thought syringe was poison and he was gonna shoot him but it was a vaccine and alex and bay kept running thru the house to hide. I got caught by little kid with bloody eyes, tried to stab him but he didnt care. Cello music happening, slow motion. Also smthn bout trying to find a different desktop pic cuz mine had Mike in it even tho alex didnt know that was him, all my other pics were old ones with me and elliot in high school and my hair was short and flipped out at the bottom, looked really bad. Then zombie dream continued after waking up n sleeping again, I was young teen with bunch of others and my parents, stormy night, we were travelling to that mansion and I was trying to warn everyone to hide cuz no one knew about the zombies. Then was on weird spiderman themed waterpark ride, somebody in costume yanked my hair as I was going down slide, got really mad but couldn't find them afterwards because everyone was in spiderman costumes

Dreamed I was camping 4 work again on the steep trail at elwha dam. There was a deep cave I didnt go into. We were leaving and I had all this laundry to do. Then went to alex's mom or dad house, brad was there and also elliot. He kept telling me I had to sleep with him because we were still dating, but I knew he had gotten married cuz jenna went to the wedding and took pics. Also something with Charlotte and her friend, they were leaving school for the summer and stole sheet music cuz they both played violin, and no one was allowed to keep the music? I was jealous that she played violin

Dreamed all these women who were friends got really fucked up on drugs and jumped off a balcony at a church and died. The last one looked kinda like america ferrera and she stopped and saw them below her and froze up until someone rescued her. Really sad, I was one of the friends I guess. We were on a trip together and like 3 of us lived, it was just a 3 day weekend trip. Was avoiding talking about them, went swimming naked in this creek in a forest but some guys and their kids showed up so I had to sneak out. Everyone reminiscing about women who died, one was that actress the mom from EASY A. She always told jokes about her super grip strength, was really funny. America ferrera was friends with this woman who was huge like andre the giant, her head was ENORMOUS. Then was being driven home by this lady on a weird car/train hybrid, we were careening along this track like flying in the air at times. Stopped in the forest, then the vehicle became more like an excavator

Was in van outside mall, got held up by Lora and her sister and mom, they had guns and ordered everyone out. I had a gun hidden and I headshot both sisters and tell their mom to put her weapon down. Then standing in circle with lotr cast, we had just ended filming? Was holding pinkies with sean astin and viggo, both being very flirty. Then was camping with alex n his family, we all had our own cars. Me n him left to go bone somewhere private, run into a wild boar and her babies. I climb up onto a random bookshelf, but she climbs using her mouth. I flatten her under a huge book and I have a knife but cuts do no damage. I knock her off the shelf but then alex is still on the ground, then I woke up

Was working as a reporter for Rebecca from NOSC but it was at a college. Kept reminding everyone that women dont make as much money, was gonna research n report about it with all the women at the school. Trying to play computer game and Rebecca got mad I didnt have enough work, said I was gonna report about rush Limbaugh and how some whole govt branch he was in was rigged and set people up to fail, rebecca got really excited but I was worried cuz I didnt know amything about politics

On lake w my mom, she could sing like Elsa n it was echoing on the water. Then funeral procession went across with floating coffin n bowling alley stuff, lady who owned bowling alley had died. I started crying pretty hard even tho I didnt know her. Smthn bout going back to ecos, or I had volunteered there for a season. Then was being chased down by people cuz they wanted to execute me and another person. Daniel had heard of the zodiac killer when he was a kid

Dreamed olivia hill betrayed me. Her family worked for a bridal photo company n I was in this big room looked kinda like church, she had acted all nice to me and then did something horrible, idr what, and gleefully gave this evil speech about how she fooled me and actually hated my guts. I might have punched her? I did tell her I always hated her shitty mom, and that's why she probably betrayed me. Also smthn about working for the tribe again with kenzie and allyce doing swamp science

Me n alex trying to move to iowa, thinkin bout what friends I have left in either place. Smthn before that too idr